#ugh i like this one but the quality is ass until u click on it

[they-hermes]

there’s something wrong with you that’s wrong with me

[chrsitophwaltz]

MICKEY MEETS FC BAYERN (PART 1/4)

for the entire houston clownery experience click here

psa: excuse my face and the pic qualities. up until this happened i haven’t really taken pictures of myself (less than 10 in the past two years for family and work purposes and NEVER selfies) and when you meet people you’ve only seen on TV in a very unexpected circumstance, then don’t expect your brain and motor functions to work 100%.

okay. i posted part 1 of this a few days ago but i’m gonna redo it again to flush out the details. before i start, know that i arrived in houston wednesday afternoon. my original flight back home was scheduled sunday after the game (i booked my flight and lodgings months before like a good binch) but since bayern clowned again and announced the full detailed schedule really late, and put ALL the major fan stuff on SUNDAY, i grudgingly rebooked and extended one more day. how much that one extra day cost me will haunt me for a while but hey, it was more than worth it! of course, i didn’t know it would work out like that at first...

the hotel reception was around 6:30-7 pm on friday so we went there a few hours earlier to get good spots. met up with The Niko Thirst Gang (big shoutout to @screamingoranges, @saquonbrkley, and @simplyirenic! it was great meeting y’all hope we could do it again sometime) and waited patiently in the houston heat and humidity outside the hotel. finally the team bus arrived and got my shirt signed by boa, fiete, benji, leon, and thomas! made a post about it here and i also have the full reception video if y’all wanna see!

but being the greedy thirsty binch that i am, i wasn’t satisfied at all. thiago and niko weren’t there. the coaching staff were the first to go down and hansi flick, dr. broich, and even Witch Doctor™ müller-wohlfahrt were there, but NOT niko. after the bus left and all the other entourage cars were off, i was about to rage outside the hotel bc i was really banking on seeing niko that day and taking a pic with him there (my blood pressure had been raging for 4 hours and then to be let down just like t h a t...). apparently he and thiago went straight to nrg stadium from the airport for a press conference. and guess what? NRG STADIUM WAS JUST DOWN THE ROAD FROM MY PLACE 💀💀💀

anyway, come saturday and it was game day! i was so pumped since my seat was five rows behind the bayern bench! y’all know what that means: unlimited firsthand access to peak drama!!! i also had this huge ass sign asking for niko’s bottle sdhfsdjfh. the game was great (bc we beat madridies and it was just really exciting all the way) and i saw stuff that we normally don’t get from TV (e.g. ALL the angry niko antics, leon changing into his kit on the bench, etc.) at one point niko finally looked at my direction while drinking from his bottle and i’m pretty sure he saw my sign but he just kept on drinking sultrily from that goddamn bottle sjadhksfksdfdk i hate him!!!!!!!

after the game i was feeling pretty let down and desperate bc i know sunday was the team’s last full day in houston and i didn’t want my extension to be for nothing. the practice session and paulaner bbq were invite-only events (ugh) and the mall meet-and-greets won’t have niko or everyone else in them. so i set my alarm, went to bed, and decided to try my luck by randomly going to the hotel again to see if i can get something. i had no idea if it was gonna work or not. it was a shot in the freaking dark.

sunday morning. 8:30 am. i went out armed with a sharpie, my cardboarded jersey, a pack of gum, and two bottles of water.

my uber drove me to the hotel entrance and i even got the whole five star welcome sjdhfsjdfbjkds

hotel staff: ”hi! welcome to the post oak hotel!”

me: “oh lmao i’m not actually a customer i’m just here to see if the team’s still here. have they left for practice yet?”

hotel staff: “oh no problem at all. they’re still here they just finished breakfast i think”

me: “oh cool i’ll just wait here then”

hotel staff and some guy in a bayern audi fcb tour polo shirt: “it’s so hot here, though. don’t you want to wait inside?”

me:

me: “............i can do that? am i allowed in?”

bayern guy: *shrugs* yeah sure. i’ve seen you around before anyway (nice guy talk for: i know ur stalking them lmao)

just like that.

i’m in. i made it.

u n s u p e r v i s e d. totally no barriers whatsoever. with full blast A/C too!

cue happy lil me, relieved to be out of the houston heat, entering the hotel and chilling in their nice plushy seats. (if y’all have cash to burn, it looks like a real good hotel too if you get to houston sometime). i kept on looking over my shoulder bc i still can’t believe they just let me in like t h a t. i tried to make myself look as harmless and innocent as possible and saw some of the training staff milling around and chatting in german (for a moment i thought i was back in munich it was so surreal). at some point, a very sleepy and very casual javi martinez in slides came up to the reception and i nearly passed out. he looked over at me and i waved and said hi and raised my shirt (signal if he wants to sign). he shook his head no and gestured to reception and i was like “oh sure no problem!” (i was trying not to freak out even if i was sad ok)

i’ve been trying to kill time by screaming here on tumblr until about 10-15 minutes later i heard the huge ass team bus pull up out front. a few moments after that, it all started.

i saw the kitmen carrying stuff to the bus and greeted them “guten morgen!” they were so cheery lmao (idk if it’s bc they just had breakfast or bc i greeted them in german). then i saw dr. broich and hansi flick come out in their training gear (both looking hella tanned sfnsjfjsdfn) and greeted them both again. dr. broich waved, said hi, and went straight to the bus but i was able to flag hansi down for an autograph. in my excitement (he was my first catch of the day!) i forgot to ask for a pic ugh but oh well

me: “thanks hansi! and welcome to bayern!”

hansi: *handing me back my shirt and trying (and failing) to put my sharpie back in its cap* “oh, thanks so much!”

after hansi went on his merry way, i saw dieter nickles (the press conference guy) and asked him for a picture and autograph too.

me: “hi dieter! can i please have a photo and an autograph?”

dieter: “are you sure? i’m not a player...”

me: “haha i know but if it’s all the same to you...”

he seemed pretty chuffed that i knew him and happily signed and took pictures (score #2!)

that was it for a while (they were the early birds) until giovane elber himself came out. i freaked (i love him) and tried to keep my voice from shaking when i asked him for the standard photo and autograph. in my haste, the first was pretty blurry and against the light but giovane, angel that he is, was like “oh no that’s bad. let’s try again” and maneuvered me to another angle. success! i luff u, giovane ;__;

then The Voice of the Allianz Arena himself came out. i semi-shouted “stephan!” and startled him that he nearly dropped his coffee snbfsdbfsdfsb. while he was signing my shirt, i asked him if he could give me a lil soundbite and HE DID! he sounds exactly the same as he does on TV during games omfg

the younglings started to come out too. i missed a few of them because they went out in a group so i was only able to flag down sarpreet and ron. oh well! they cute af! go bayern babies! grow up and save us from clownery!!!!!!

(ignore the pen in my mouth i was multitasking lmao)

after that, the ground started to shake (just kidding) bc Big Uncle Nik was there! after i got his autograph (a very simple N.S. lmaooo) , we tried to take a picture. i say “tried,” because i’m 5′3 (and 1/2....on a good day) and he’s built like a fuckin skyscraper. in the end, since he was so nice and realized it was hopeless, he bent down to my level so we could both fit in the frame sdhfbsdjfsbdfjd COME ON SÜLEEEEE

then Pure Angel Baby Fiete came out! i already got his autograph and had a pic with him in the hotel reception, but hey, one more can’t hurt! lemme tell y’all: he looks like an angel, and IS an angel. he’s always so game for photos and even said thank you after we took the pic and i’m like “um???? no, thank YOU!!!” he laughed and i cried lmaooo

also, javi finally showed up again. i raised my pen and phone and he was like “oh sure! yeah!” my brain was fried from Beautiful Athlete Overload that i forgot NOT to take a pic from that cursed angle. javi looked like he was in a hurry though so i didn’t even try to ask for a better pic. oh well, at least here he looks like he came down from heaven (he really looked like he did huehue)

(tumblr has this stupid 10 photo per post limit thing so stay tuned for more pics in part 2!)

[sublime-samantha]

BTS reaction Maknae line: you being cuddly / clingy

a/n: soooo, im so hype, erryone love my hyung line of this...also!help me write for these guys better, tell me how I can write better, thanks boo

warnings: swearing,, lowercase is intentional, my weird-ass wording and weird “slang” I use (just don’t mind me, yo), and a meme reference, sorry not sorry

masterlist

drum roll please… presenting….

…. BTS Maknae Line reaction: you being cuddle / clingy 

J I M I N

bitchhhhh this gif makes me weak

you were waiting at the dorm for Jimin to get home, it was your scheduled movie night, that included the rest of Bangtan… sometimes…

he was supposed to be here 45 minutes ago. it doesn’t bother you as much as it did in the beginning of your relationship, you’ve seen first hand how hard he works and how often he can overwork himself, thus the reason this Friday-night-move-night was created, to get his the relax a lil bit.

you almost done with practice bby?

yes, we’re on our way home, why?

I just want to cuddle and watch movies with you.

ahhhh cute, y/n

I try 👌🏾

the little read symbol popped up and you set your phone on the couch cushion and decided to pop some popcorn and prepare all your favorite movie night snacks.

not even ten minutes after the popcorn stopped popping the bois, sorry, boys stagger one by one into the dorm shouting their various greetings at you and heading to shower.

Jimin finds his was into the kitchen in search of you. before he can wrap his arms around your waist you catapult yourself into his arms,

“ahh, babe, careful!” he laughs at your enthusiasm and secures your legs around his waist and a strong hand on your back and looks up into your smiling eyes.

“I missed you.”

“you saw me eight hours ago, silly,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes as he gives you one last squeeze and sets you down.

“I know but….” you attempt to form a response.

“how about we make up for lost time,” he smirks at you and tugs you into him by your waist, his hit breath hitting your neck, “forget the movie, I need to eat you up, jagi.”

“Chim..” you breathe as his lips attack your sweet spot, his hands wandering up from your side to brush the sides on your breasts through your tank top.

“I love popcorn, smells so good, I’m hype - I don’t know ‘bout you, hyung, but I’m ready for some mother fu-” Namjoon covers Tae’s mouth before he could curse and the two of them enter the kitchen, causing you and Jimin to jump away from each other.

Namjoon, of course, was obvious to what the two of you were doing, but Tae eyed they two of you suspiciously, but quickly ditched his sneaking suspicion for the bowl of popcorn wait on the counter.

… 

After everybody had showered, the movie started. It was Jungkook’s turn to pick the movie and tonight it was Furious 7. every time it was his turn to pick the movie he picked the next Fast and Furious movie, wanting, ultimately, to watch all eight.

you were cuddled up to Jimin, he now wore the Blue and White striped shirt. he knows, he fucking knows, what his cute lil sweater paws do to you. he knows they can make a bitch melt.

you almost squeal as he wraps an arm around your shoulder letting you cuddle into his warm side.

his hand starts to rub your arm ever so soothingly. you absolutely melt - as predicted - into his loving embrace. 

you admire his dazzling, no not just dazzling, beautiful, elegant features, and you ponder, of just a moment, how you got so goddamn lucky to snach yourself such a snack like him.

your eyes lock back on the screen, not wanting to test your luck with being caught so openly staring at him - cause shit, that’d be embarrassing.

he looks down at you, your (eye color) eyes locked on the screen. as he admires your features, he wonders the same thing you pondered just a few seconds ago about him, except he wondered it about you - his amazing girlfriend, and hopefully wife… if he got lucky.

T A E H Y U N G 

“dude! just shoot him!” Taehyung yells into the microphone on his headset at Jungkook.

Taehyung was over at your apartment playing Overwatch with Jungkook. you may be asking, “y/n, why do you have Overwatch at your apartment? do you play?”

well, your adorable boyfriend had insisted you have a PlayStation at your house so he could just bring his disk to play at your place. when you tried your damnedest to protest he just shushed you and insisted it was mandatory.

back to the current situation.

Taehyung was very focused on his game, not that you minded, he was still doing what you had asked for an hour ago…

will you come over?

sure! i’ll cum over 🍆🍆👅👀🙈😳

tae!

fine fine, yes i’ll come over, boo

🖕🏾❤️

that’s the story of how Taetae ended up on your couch yelling at Jungkook.

you were straddling him with your arms loosely wrapped around his neck, you hand resting on the back of the couch looking at your Instagram feed with your eyes peeking out of Tae’s neck. 

Tae held back his shouts of protest as his and Jungkook’s team were loosing, buuut,,, he could not hold back the shout of “no!” as he was killed by a player on the opposing team.

you giggled at his antics as you like one of Namjoon’s pictures. 

this continued like this for the next half hour until you became bored of your feed and slowly became more fidgety on his lap.

Tae, the sweetie that he is, felt your shift in focus as he heard the click of your phone being locked and felt you burry your face deeper into the crook of his neck and felt your eyelashes tickle his skin as your eyes flutter shut.

he brought his hand to rub at your back in slow circles as he came to a loading screen on his game.

his hands soon left your sweater-clad back and returned to the controller to continue the game.  

your breathing had synced not long after getting on his lap, you hadn’t realized how relaxing it was until you felt your eyes sting with exhaustion when attempting to keep them open and alert.

you tried so hard to stay awake and savor this precious cuddle time with your favorite man, but sleep had already laced it’s hand with your’s and was tugging you along further and further until your eyes shut completely and you were once again curled up and asleep in Tae’s warm embrace.

Tae encircled his arms around you after turning off the console. he felt your deep, even breaths as your chest rose and fell against his own.

he kisses the side of your head and relaxes into the back of the couch and turns off the lamp sitting on the table next to the couch. he closes his eyes and just lets thoughts come and go, floating freely in the vast, intelligent space of his mind.

he smiled to himself, thinking to himself of how luck he was to have at you

J U N G K O O K 

you watched Jungkook and the rest of the boys preform Go

you couldn’t help but think to your self how good your Kookie looked in his multicolored jumper, he looked like a mother fucking snacc if you’d ever seen one, better than tide pods, jk jkjkjk lmaooo. but like, he also looked like the cutest bunny ever and you couldn’t decide which one he looked like more. 

a couple of hours later when you knew he and the others would be on their way to the dorms, you texted him.

heyyyy, BunBun?

yes, noona?

will you come over? I wanna cuddle…

yessss, I missed you so much! I was waiting for you to text meeee

read 10:34

you were on the edge of your seat as you awaited his return. 

you waited forever, time dragged on and on, you felt your eyes droop with sleep, how long had it been? you texted Kook hours ago…

you look at the clock mounted on the wall,

10:37

…what the actual hell, you texted him three minutes ago.

“to hell with this,” you mumble to yourself as you got up to shower and go through you nightly routine.

…

after you shower, you shift through your pantie drawer only to stumble upon a couple of unopened sheet mask you had never used.

biiiitch, a hoe ‘bout to treat herself, you think as you through on some panties and one of Junkook’s white t-shirts on.

you were just laying your blanket on the back of the couch when there was a knock at the door.

Jungkook

you fling the door open to reveal a smiling Bunny, you through yourself into his arms. he chuckled at you and slowly walks the two of you into your apartment and shuts the door. 

you pull back to greet him but he beats you to it.

“the hell is on your face?”

“a sheet mask, it’s good for the skin. but you aren’t here for a skin care routine, you are here for quality y/n and Jungkook time.”

“sounds like the dream to me.”

he’s still looking at your face in puzzlement when you got a brilliant idea.

“Kookie?” “yes, my love?” “can I try something?”

…

it was five minutes later and your and Jungkook were sitting on your bed looking at each other with baby blue face masks adorning your faces with your phone timer for fifteen minutes sitting on the bed in-between the two of you.

“this is boring.”

“this is fun!” you both say at the same time, you with enthusiasm. 

“ugh, Jungkook! it’ll be over in ten minutes and then we cuddle.”

…

Jungkook hand fallen asleep a little bit ago, his breathing now deep and relaxed, you on the other hand couldn’t fall asleep just yet, the feeling of him in such close proximity was making you giddy with love. 

goddamn, you thought, Jungkook is one hell of a catch