#maknae line reaction

[senascoop]

ꣀ꣒ ASKING ENHYPEN — HOW MANY KIDS THEY WANT? . . 엔하이펜 ☁︎

pairing, enhypen × afab reader . . . genre, scenario(s), fluff, reactions . . . word count, 190-240 each . . . [LIBRARY]

. , LEE HEESEUNG ☁︎ 이희승 !

“Hee,” you called quietly, sipping on your hot chocolate while the warmth permeated the serene void between you. You leaned against the armrest and kept watching Heeseung as he scrolled through social media to the sound of his almost inaudible humming amidst the stillness of the room. “You never told me how many kids you want,” you said as if you really were trying to find out.

Heeseung paused for a moment before a slow smile spread over his face, his eyes wide and animated as he put his phone down. It was clear that he had been waiting for this question. “Three. Definitely,” he said, nodding with the kind of certainty one might expect after years of pondering. You arched your brow, trying not to laugh. “But then what's it going to be like when you have three mini Heeseungs running wild? A nightmare,” you stated, looking at him impassively.

His eyes widened, and he shot you a mock parody glare that could only be described as mild offense. “What did you just say?” He said, leaning in closer and speaking as though utterly astonished. You just couldn't help it anymore: a laugh escaped you in the form of a chesty giggle, and you leaned back, confiding in your hot chocolate for salvation. “I'm just kidding!” you squeaked through the giggles.

. , PARK JONGSEONG ☁︎ 박종성 !

“Baby, how many kids do you want?” you asked, slipping your arms around Jay’s waist from behind, your chin resting on his shoulder as he stirred the steaming pot of noodles on the stove. “Did my cooking skills impress you that much?” he teased, glancing at you with a smirk. His free hand reached down to pat yours, resting comfortably on his stomach.

You laughed softly. “Maybe,” you admitted, your voice warm with affection. “But I’m serious. How many kids do you want?” Jay paused, the sound of bubbling noodles filling the momentary silence. His gaze grew thoughtful as he tilted his head slightly. “Two,” he said confidently, his tone steady. “It’d be nice to have one of each—a boy and a girl. Balance, you know?”

You grinned, nuzzling closer. “What if they’re both boys? Or both girls?” you pressed, curious to hear his answer. Jay hummed, as if mulling it over, before turning off the stove and setting the spoon down. He spun around in your arms to face you, his expression playful yet soft. “Honestly?” he said, brushing a stray strand of hair from your face. “As long as they’re healthy, I couldn’t care less. But if they’re both boys…” He paused, raising an eyebrow. “Double trouble.”

You giggled, swatting his chest lightly. “And if they’re both girls?” He grinned, pulling you closer. “Guess I’ll just be outnumbered, won’t I?”

. , SIM JAEYUN ☁︎ 심재��� !

“How many kids do you want?” you asked, casually breaking the silence while the two of you sat tangled on the couch, the light of the television casting shadows. His gaze dropped unstably from the screen to you, amusement winking in constricted lines across his brow of confusion. “We already have one: Layla,” he declared, pointing to the dog stretched across his lap, her head comfortably laid on his thigh.

Rolling your eyes, you let out a huff. “Jake. I meant a human baby,” you explained, resting your chin on his shoulder to gauge his expression. He hesitated in thought, his fingers mindlessly playing with Layla's ear. “One is enough,” he said offhandedly between mouthfuls of popcorn, as though deciding the fate of your entire future after that bite.

For a moment, you grinned in mock disbelief. “One? Just like that? What if I want two?” He just turned to you, slipping into a devilish smile. “One is a smart number. Two? Think of the double the mess and double the drama. One? We can keep ‘em outnumbered,” he explained in a teasing tone, though his eyes sparkled with affection.

. , PARK SUNGHOON ☁︎ 박성훈 !

“Hey Hoon,” you said rather casually, tracing invisible patterns on the couch while leaning against him. “In the future when we have kids...would you want a boy or a girl?”

Sunghoon felt his face flush immediately; it was as if he had not expected you to ask the question. He nervously cleared his throat and shifted a little. “Is this a test?” he asked in a higher-than-usual voice. You could see the moment of hesitation that was thinking there could be something to it-a faint worry on the face of being caught in trickery, because he knew you would ask many innocent questions previously that often spiraled into an argument.

You shook your head, smiling and trying to play it light. “Don't worry, I'm just curious.” He paused for a second, biting his lip, returned his gaze to you, carefully considering his answer. “A girl...?” he murmured, a slight tremble in his voice. There was something very sweet about him being shy; you liked it. “A girl, huh? Well, I like that. Sometimes I think I'd like to ask you a real question: how many kids do you want?”

This caught Sunghoon off guard again because of your sudden shift; he blinked at this. He took a second, his face still a little flushed as he whispered slowly, “Umm... probably... one...?” you blinked, trying not to laugh at how serious he was about it. “Just one? You aren't even considering the option of having a second or a third in the future?” He shrugged, his expression softening as he leaned closer. “One should suffice for me, especially if it is a girl."

. , KIM SUNOO ☁︎ 김수누 !

“Babe...” you started, your voice soft with a hint of nervousness as you gazed at Sunoo, who was casually sipping his water. You felt a flutter in your chest, wondering how he'd respond. “How many kids do you want in the future?” Sunoo didn’t even hesitate. His eyes twinkled as he smiled at you, the corners of his lips lifting in that signature grin that always made your heart skip. With a playful sparkle in his eyes, he held up three fingers, still holding his bottle of water, clearly not bothered by the question at all.

You raised an eyebrow, amused by how easily he had the answer ready. “Three?” you repeated, trying to hide your smile. It was clear he’d thought about this a lot, and you couldn’t help but admire how effortlessly he was embracing the idea of the future with you. “Yep, three,” he confirmed, his grin widening as he swallowed the water. He set the bottle down and nudged your shoulder, leaning in closer. “You know, one for you, one for me, and one for us. Perfect team.”

Your heart melted at his words, and you leaned into him, feeling a warmth spread through you. Sunoo was everything you could ever want, and the thought of a future with him felt like a dream come true.

. , YANG JUNGWON ☁︎ 양정원 !

Jungwon wasn’t surprised by your random question—it was just another one of those things you did. As you straddled his lap on the couch, your fingers brushing through his hair, you asked casually, “How many kids do you want?” He paused, his lips curving into a small, knowing smile before planting a quick peck on your lips. “One,” he muttered against your mouth, as if it was the most natural answer.

You blinked, taken aback. “That’s it?” you asked, genuinely curious. You expected something a little more ambitious, but there he was, casually dropping his answer like it was no big deal. Jungwon stifled a chuckle, his eyes twinkling with amusement. “Why?” he asked, genuinely curious at your reaction. You puffed out your cheeks in mock frustration. “Why not more? I mean, we’re both working, we can afford it,” you reasoned, trying to make your case.

He nodded, a soft smile still playing at the corners of his lips. “True,” he agreed. “But... the living costs, you know?” You opened your mouth to argue, but before you could get the words out, he pulled you closer, his hands gently resting on your hips. “One is still enough, sweetie,” he whispered, his tone light but affectionate. The sincerity in his eyes melted your protest away. “Fine,” you muttered, resting your forehead against his. “I guess one sounds perfect with you.”

. , NISHIMURA RIKI ☁︎ 리키 !

“Riki, how many kids do you want to have?” you asked casually, mushing against his chest, your arms lazily around his neck in your usual cuddle contentment. His hands are frozen. Random shapes traced on your back now are interrupted mid-motion. Before you could think, he switched positions: he flipped you onto your back and pinned you beneath him in one smooth shift.

“What are you doing?” you squeaked, heart thumping as his dark eyes watched yours. That was when he came closer, softly brushing a stray strand of hair from your face with a teasing smirk that left your stomach feeling some weird emotion. “We just became adults and you are already talking about babies?” he tormented in low teasing tones, the corners of his mouth twitching to stop a laughter. “You're bold, you know that.”

You opened and moved to argue, but he lowered his mouth and pressed a soft, deliberate kiss against your lips. Not to shut you up—this was the kind of kiss that turned your thoughts into mush and spread bright warmth across your cheeks. He pulled away just enough to talk, lips pressed close to yours, and whispered, “Why have kids when we can have fun?”

© senascoop | tumblr

[chaezpie]

WHEN YOU'RE HORNY (💬)

PAIRING! ⸻ enhypen ! maknae line × female reader

GENRE! ⸻ just some random texts (this was requested!! but I made it suggestive and not fully a smut 🫡)

© CHAEZPIE | 2024 | DO NOT CLAIM AS YOURS

[tsukiflwr]

ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 .ᐟ ENHA REACTING TO YOU SUDDENLY STUFFING YOUR FACE IN THEIR NECK

𝓅airing ∿ maknae line! enha x f!reader ᰔ 𝒽eadcanons ; fluff, established relationship 𝓌: skinship, kissing?, pet names 𐙚 𝓌c 811 ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓇oro's note. tysm for all the love on the first part omg!! enha my loves >.<﹒ ꒰ 𝓁ibrary ꒱ + 𝒽yung ver ᰔ

KIM SUNOO

“ahh what are yo-” sunoo cut himself off when he broke out into a fit of giggles, finding the feeling of your breathing hitting his neck ticklish. you hold back your own laughter and try to move closer to your boyfriend who was moving away from your touch, the blanket draped over the two of you moving with him. “stop moving” you whined playfully as you tighten your hold on his waist trying to keep him close. 

“I can't help it, it tickles” sunoo laughs, giving you a triumphant smile as he detangled himself from your hold, your arms dramatically flopping down on your bed. “just say you don't want to cuddle me” you pouted dramatically as you moved to lay on your back, looking up at sunoo who was now sitting up and looking down at you with a smile. 

“wow and people say I'm dramatic,” your boyfriend teased you, adjusting his position so he could lay down on his side facing you, not ready to leave the bed and go on with his morning. He opened his arms for you “c’mere cuddle bug” he chuckled at how fast you moved to cuddle back into his side, this time you were careful not to tickle him. sunoo wrapped his arms around you in a hug, pulling you closer to him, mumbling into your hair as he felt you yawn against his neck “ahh cute” 

rest of the maknae line members below >.< !!

YANG JUNGWON 

“do you think you are close enough?” jungwon teased you once you settled in his side, your body flush against his. your boyfriend wasn't surprised by your sudden touchiness, he knew you all too well and he could tell by the eyes you were giving him for the past ten minutes meant something, so he continued to look for a movie for the two of you to watch. your nose rubbed against his neck as you nodded gently, your hum sending chills down his neck “mmhm you smell nice” 

“thanks, i used your body wash” as soon as those words left your boyfriend's lips you were quick to remove your face from his neck and sit up on your elbow, looking at him with an incredulous look. he looked away from the tv when he felt move away, giving you an innocent smile once he noticed the look on your face. “what? you should be honored that I want to smell like you” jungwon smiled sweetly as he pulled you back down, this time you laid on your stomach with your feet in the air. 

“stop trying to sweet talk your way out of this” you narrowed your eyes at him as you poked his chest, a cute noise leaving him at the feeling. jungwon took your hand in his and rested it on his chest, caressing your hand with his fingers as he gave you a flirty smirk “we both know you love it when i sweet talk you” your roll your eyes and let out a loud groan of disgust at your boyfriend's poor excuse at trying to flirt. you rested your head down against his chest, hiding your flustered smile from him. jungwon laughed and held you closer, an identical smile gracing his lips. 

NISHIMURA NI-KI 

“oh – uh are you okay?” he awkwardly chuckled, a red hue on his cheeks at your unexpected touch, his fingers freezing on his switch, the last thing on his mind now was his game. you mistook his awkwardness for him being uncomfortable, so you quickly let go of his arm that you were holding and retracted your face from his neck, mumbling shyly “sorry, i just wanted to be close to you” he quickly found himself missing your touch and warmth that came with it. 

“wait no come back” ni-ki rushes out as he drops his switch on the bed and pulls you back against him, eager to have you back in his arms, this time moving to lay on his side as his arms hold you flush against his chest. your eyes widen slightly at the sudden and quick movement, but you find yourself just as quickly relaxing in his arms. he tangled his legs with yours, a shy blush decorating his from having you so close, he muttered deeply “and don't ever apologize for that” 

“okay” you whispered with a smile, your eyes fluttering close as you snuggled your face into his clavicle. you slipped your hand under his shirt, softly scratching at his back. he let out a pleased hum at the feeling, his own eyes closing “i guess i could get used to this” you missed the teasing lovesick smile on his lips, and pulled away to look at him with a raised eyebrow and a playful pout, repeating his last words “you guess?” ni-ki chuckled and leaned down to place a lingering soft kiss on your forehead “definitely” 

𝓇oro's note. I will have a enha taglist, so send in an ask or comment if you would like to be added, or to my perm taglist!! i am so excited for my journey on this new account ☺️ this was glitching so muchh in my drafts so I hope it looks better when I post it!! so I’m posting the links down here just in case if the don’t work on top!! ᰔ ꒰ nav ꒱

𝓁ibrary + 𝒽yung ver

likes, reblogs, comments and feedback are heavily encouraged !

[mlyscha]

𝒞𝗁𝖾𝖿 𝗄𝗂𝗌𝗌

( ENHYPEN ── 𝒻𝗼𝗿. 𝓣ASTE. ) 𖦹 ℐ𝗇 𝗐𝗁𝗂𝖼𝗁 . . . they are victims of your terrible cooking skills. 𝗀𝖾𝗇𝗋𝖾 : crack, domestic. 𝓌𝖺𝗋𝗇𝗂𝗇𝗀𝗌! none. ( 𝗐𝖼. 189O ) 𝓮𝘅𝘁𝗿𝗮' … 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗉𝗋𝗈𝗈𝖿𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽, 𝖾𝗇𝗀𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗁 𝗂𝗌 𝗇𝗈𝗍 𝗆𝗒 𝗆𝗈𝗍𝗁𝖾𝗋-𝗅𝖺𝗇𝗀𝗎𝖺𝗀𝖾 ༘ . 𝒻! 𝗋𝖾𝖺𝖽𝖾𝗋.

𝒶-𝗻𝗼𝘁𝗲. back from vacation and ready to write a ton for you guys! also, we are close to 300 followers omgggg im so grateful ya'll... <3

𝗍𝗁𝖺𝗇𝗄 𝗒𝗈𝗎 𝖿𝗈𝗋 𝗍𝗁𝖾 𝗌𝗎𝗉𝗉𝗈𝗋𝗍! ♡ 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾&𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀&𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍.

𝒽eeseung ( 희승 )

YOU CALLED YOUR BOYFRIEND TO try the biscuits you have made. you were kind of apprehensive because you knew how bad of a cook/baker you are, but, heeseung seemed a little bit stressed earlier so you decided to make him a sweet treat.

when he walked downstairs and encountered at the kitchen holding a plate with the biscuits you baked, he knew it would be a disaster. "for me?" your boyfriend asked, pointing to the plate. you nodded, smiling, excitedly waiting for his reaction. heeseung seemed hesitant, so you said: "eat it! i made it just for you, baby!" ― he took a deep breath before taking one and quickly taking a bite, like he wanted this whole taste test to finish already.

"how is it?" heeseung didn't swallow, pretending he was chewing and tasting it. "mhm," he began to nod his head, frowning at the biscuit while analysing it. "it's... unique..." he says with his mouth full. it's your turn to frown, confused by his reaction. "bad unique or good unique?" "um..." you noticed him swallowing the biscuit dryly. "unique," "wha-" "baby..." he yawns, placing the biscuit back on the plate, then stretching himself. "let's sleep, mhm? aren't you tired from all that baking?" heeseung pulls you closer to him, kissing your lips passionately while trying to distract you.

"baby," you call him between kisses. "hey," you call him one more time but he didn't even hummed. with that, you gently pushed him away and slowly took one of the biscuits you made, taking a bite out of it. you heard your boyfriend sigh in a frustrated way. "heeseung..." you murmur with your mouth full, slowly turning to look at him. "...yes?" "this thing is raw!"

𝒿ongseong ( 제이 )

JONGSEONG WHEN HEARD YOU WERE going to cook something he immediately tried stopping you, saying that you had him: the best cook in this whole world! ― but you didn't listen to him, arguing that you wanted to let him relax a little bit before dinner. ― you were going to make his favourite soup with a side of microwaved rice. with that, you started making the soup, following a head-made recipe.

"sweetheart, come taste this!" you shouted from the kitchen, holding a spoon with the bowling hot broth. "taste this, baby," you sweetly tell him, gently blowing it to cool. "you tried it?" your boyfriend asked, clearly hesitant. you kissed your teeth, impatient. "just taste it!" watching your expectant eyes shine, he drinks the soup from the spoon, immediately trying to hold a face.

"is it okay?" jongseong turned his face to not let his scrunched nose and frowned brows show. "yeah..." he replies and you smile brightly, excited. "let me try it," you say, spooning some soup for you and drinking it. however, it was... "ah! salty!" you whine making jongseong let out a chuckle. ― in the end, he decided to make some pasta instead of having a cholesterol peak with your delicious soup!!!!

𝒿aeyun ( 제이크 )

YOU WERE MAKING HOME-MADE RED pasta sauce with some tomatoes you have been given, and the question is: are you italian? you could be. are you a good cook? definitely not! with that, you were apprehensive how this sauce could turn out.

"jaeyun! baby, come here!" you called him, knowing he was at the living room watching something on the tv. "yes, princess?" he walks in the kitchen, encountering you holding a spoon with some red sauce. "what is that?" he points at the spoon. "red pasta sauce," you reply.

jaeyun tastes the sauce and frowns. "is it supposed to be... wait, is this supposed to be combined with...?" you shrug, like it was obvious. "pasta...?" you frown. "mhm." he hums. "how is it?" "peculiar..." your boyfriend says. "peculiar? what do you mean?" "it's peculiar because," he cleans his throat, side eyeing you a little bit, trying to measure his words. "it's supposed to be for pasta but it doesn't feel like it's supposed to be for pas-"

"are you saying is bad?!" "i mean..." you scoff, tasting some of the sauce. "oh... now i see why is peculiar..." you say, smacking your lips together while scrunching your nose. "it's sweet... too sweet..."

𝓈unghoon ( 성훈 )

SUNGHOON SUGGESTED THAT YOU ORDERED something instead of cooking, but since you argued you felt inspired, he agreed in letting you make something ― still with a card up his sleeve. you decided to make cheese balls ― wow, big challenge! even though it sounds easy, while breading the cheese, you remembered you had to fry it in hot-bowling oil. you took a deep breath after finishing breading and called sunghoon for emotional support.

"i am nervous," you comment, picking up a utensil that would help to drop the cheese balls into the oil. "i told you to just order a delivery," your boyfriend shrugs. "okay, shut up, let's do this!" you sigh, dropping a cheese ball into the pot full of bowling oil.

the oil started to embrace the breaded cheese ball with its hotness, leading to a quick finish. however, once you were about to scoop it out with the utensil, it suddenly popped ― hot oil exploding and immediately spreading all over the kitchen counter.

you screamed once you felt it hitting you, making sunghoon freak out. "fuck, baby, are you oka-AH!" it was his turn to scream once another pop was heard. "OH MY GOD IT'S ATTACKING US!" he yells and you laugh out of nervousness. "WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING YOU PSYCHOPATH?!" "i-i," you try to breath but suddenly another pop echoed. "OH GOSH, Y/N TURN THAT SHIT OFF!"

in the end you and sunghoon ended up eating delivered cheese balls and fried chicken, trying to forget about the oily mess waiting to be cleaned at the kitchen.

𝓈unoo ( 선우 )

YOUR BOYFRIEND TRIES HIS BEST to always be the sweetest and the kindest partner in the world, always defending you or trying his best to understand you in every single aspect. it's cute, until you start to feel fooled.

you tried to bake a home-made bread because you thought it was easy and wanted to surprise sunoo with something he will/would never expect coming from you ― or wished, knowing your bad cook fame.

and by the way: you didn't tell him you were baking anything, simply combining the ingredients while sunoo innocently rests at your shared bedroom. you let the dough rest for an hour before placing the, supposedly, well kneaded dough, on a bread pan. you cut lines on it to make it look pretty, placing in the oven after all of this process.

after a few hours, you took it out of the oven, surprised it looked golden brown from the outside. you called sunoo to taste, however, when you excitedly cut the bread in half before he could even walk in the kitchen, you got frustrated.

"what happened? why are you pouting?" you whine before replying. "i think i messed this up..." sunoo frowns, not understanding. "what did you make?" he asked, standing behind you and then holding you close to him, placing his head above your shoulder. "...bread, but it doesn't looks right..." "oh..." he hums, knowing you weren't the best cook, but tried to support you.

"no, baby, you have to taste it before you say something!" your boyfriend argues, leaving you dumbfounded (in a good way). he teared a piece of the stiff bread and hesitantly ate it. the the taste of flour was prominent and it felt doughy as fuck. "um... it's nice!" sunoo says. "sunoo," "yeah?" "you don't need to lie to me..." "i am-" he coughs. "not lying, baby! it's fi-" "your eyes are teary like you want to throw up, sunoo!" you whine and he cuts the act. "okay, you caught me..."

𝒿ungwon ( 정원 )

JUNGWON JUST ARRIVED HOME AFTER a long day out working. while he was away, you decided to bake chocolate chip cookies, making it yourself, trying to surprise your boyfriend.

"hey, baby," you say, welcoming him and receiving a kiss from him. "hi..." he whispers, pulling you for a hug. "tired?" he nodded against your neck. "mhm, something smells good..." he comments with a muffled voice. "oh, yeah, i made cookies!" "you... baked?!" he pulls his head out of your neck after gasping, frowning and worried. "yeah, i did," "oh god..."

"wonnie, let's try it!" you excitedly say, leading him to the kitchen by the hand. "it looks good, see?" he slowly nods, still a little skeptical; even though it actually looked okay. not burnt, chocolate chips okay and not very shiny (sign that is raw). "taste it!" you hand him a cookie and jungwon smiles, gulping down tightly as he gaze at it, analysing ― at this point he was awake-AWAKE!

jungwon takes a bite of it and notices something wasn't right. "y/n..." "mhm?" you cock your head to the side, curious about what he were thinking. "did you... um..." he places the cookie back in the tray, cleaning his throat and then pursing his lips. "is it too sweet?" you frown. "um, no, it's actually salty..." "are you shitting me!" you whine.

𝓇iki ( 니키 )

RIKI TRIES TO STUDY YOUR facial expressions while being under this situation. what i mean is that: if you critique what you have made and it's actually bad, he says is bad; and if you say something you made tastes good, he says it tastes good.

you have made mochi with anko (sweet red bean paste) filling for the first time, and were waiting for riki to arrive home and taste it. you were proud of yourself even though you were aware you aren't the best cook in the world.

when riki arrived from practice you surprised him with the sweet chewy japanese treat. "hi, baby," he says, pulling you for a kiss by the waist after just walking in the house. "hi," you reply. "i made you a little something!" after you say that, riki's eye brow went up, having the reaction you wanted him to ― shock. "you want to try it?" you ask and he takes a hesitant seconds to answer. "...sure." he nods and you lead him to the kitchen by the hand.

"tadaaaa!" "mochi? you made... mochi?" he cocked his brow, surprise with your dedication, yet, skeptical. riki took the plate and analysed what you have made. "it looks... promising." he shrugs, picking one up and offering you other one. "try with me," your boyfriend use his tactics to study your face. "sure! not to brag, but" you take the mochi from his hand. "i am proud of myself!" "so i am proud of you,"

even though he was truly proud of you, once he placed the small white chewy ball in his mouth, something felt off from all of the mochi's he has tasted in his life. he learned what was it: the rice flour taste was strong. however, when he studied your expressions, riki realised you were smiling while chewing on it: happily tasting it. "is it good?" your boyfriend asked. "of course it is! why? you don't like it?" riki noticed how fast your face dropped and your eyes became worried and full of guilt. "no... it's not bad, you know? i think..." he coughs. "i'm just not a very mochi person..." ― you frowned, remembering the time he ate twelve in a sitting.

© 𝓪𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝓮, 𝗺𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗮 𝗌𝓽𝓾𝖽𝗂𝗈𝓼. ⋆ 24.

[pnutbutter-n-j-elyy]

𝗪𝗵𝗲𝗻 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗔𝗰𝗰𝗶𝗱𝗲𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗹𝗹𝘆 𝗕𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗨𝗽 𝗮𝗻 𝗜𝗻𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘂𝗿𝗶𝘁𝘆 | 𝗠𝗮𝗸𝗻𝗮𝗲𝗹𝗶𝗻𝗲 𝗣𝘁𝟭

Warnings: None

Maknaeline x Reader. Angst.

ılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılıılııl

ᒍIᔕᑌᑎG

Jisung was always the one to make people laugh, to brighten the room with his energy and humor. His smile was contagious, his jokes quick, and his laughter a sound you cherished immensely. But what people didn’t see, what Jisung hid behind his laughter, was his fear - the constant nagging doubt that told him he wasn’t good enough. Sure people could tell he was an anxious mess. He talked about with Stays, opened up to many people about his anxiety. But few people truly understood what exactly was harbored within that.

You knew that information, of course. You’d been by his side long enough to see the cracks in his playful exterior; and even his anxious exterior. But even you hadn’t realized how deep those insecurities ran - you thought you did. But it wasn't until you accidentally hit a nerve you didn’t know was there that you understood the depth of it; maybe even deeper than anyone else did.

It was late at night, and you and Jisung were lying on the floor of his living room, watching music videos. It was something you often did when he needed to unwind after long studio sessions. He was particularly quiet tonight, though, his usual playfulness replaced by something more subdued.

“Are you okay?” you asked, nudging him gently with your foot.

Jisung shrugged, his eyes fixed on the screen. “Yeah, just tired.”

You weren’t convinced. “You sure? You’ve been kind of quiet all night. I miss hearing your voice, yeobo.”

He hesitated before finally sighing. “I don’t know. I guess I’m just feeling...off.”

You sat up, concerned. “Off how?” You paused the video you were watching and turned all of your attention to him.

He shifted uncomfortably, sitting up too, and running a hand through his hair. “It’s stupid.”

“Nothing you feel is stupid,” you said softly, encouraging him to open up.

Jisung gave you a half-hearted smile, but it didn’t reach his eyes. “I’ve just been feeling like...maybe I’m not doing enough? Like, no matter how hard I work, it’s never enough to be at the level I should be. I see the other guys, and sometimes it feels like they’re ahead of me in everything. Better rappers, better singers...even better at being funny.”

You frowned, surprised at the confession. “Jisung, that’s not true. You’re amazing at all those things.” You knew first hand. You got to see all of that up close while being held in his arms, while kissing him goodbye, or cuddling. You got to see him for him...yet he couldn't even see himself?

He gave a bitter laugh, his eyes dropping to the floor. “Maybe. But it doesn’t feel like it.”

You weren’t sure how to respond. You hated seeing him like this, so wrapped up in his doubts that he couldn’t see how talented he truly was. But you didn't know if anything you would say would make it better. So, in a misguided attempt to lighten the mood, you joked, “Well, at least you’ve got that cute quokka thing going for you, right? No one can beat you at that.”

It was meant to make him laugh, to break the tension. But instead, Jisung’s face fell, his expression crumbling in a way that made your heart stop.

"Bab-"

He stood up abruptly, the sudden movement startling you. “So, that’s it? I’m just the cute, funny guy? That’s all people see?” His boba eyes met yours in a frantic worry.

Your eyes widened in shock. “Jisung, no, that’s not what I meant-”

“But that’s what you said!” he snapped, his voice rising, something sharp and hurt laced in every word. “I’m just the guy people laugh at. The one who makes everyone else look better because I’m the ‘funny one.’ The one who is always anxious and pitied! I’m not taken seriously. Not by you, not by anyone.” He cried.

“That’s not true!” you protested, standing up and reaching out for him, but he pulled away.

“Isn’t it?” His voice cracked, and you could see the vulnerability behind the anger. “You’re just like everyone else. You think I’m a joke?Something to pity?”

You shook your head, tears stinging your eyes. “Jisung, that’s not it at all. I didn’t mean-”

“I can’t do this right now,” he interrupted, his tone flat, as if he was trying to push down the emotions threatening to spill over. “I need to be alone.”

And just like that, he walked out of the room, leaving you standing there, speechless and devastated. The door to his bedroom closed with a soft click, and you were left with the echo of your words - the ones you hadn’t meant to say, the ones that had hurt him so deeply.

You sank down in front his door, wanting to be near him even in the slightest sense. The tears you held finally slipping down your cheeks. You had only wanted to make him smile, but instead, you had struck right at the heart of his insecurities. And now, you weren’t sure how to fix it.

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ᖴEᒪI᙭

Felix was like the sun. His warmth radiated from every word, every smile, every laugh. Being around him was like basking in the glow of a never-ending summer day. But what people didn’t realize, what Felix kept hidden so well, was the fear that lingered just beneath the surface - the fear that, no matter how bright he tried to shine, the shadows would always be there.

You and Felix had been inseparable for months. It wasn’t just his warmth that drew you to him; it was the way he made everything feel lighter, easier. He was the light in your life, and you were sure you were the same for him. You needed him like you needed oxygen.

But that night, something shifted.

It had been a long day for both of you, and Felix had been uncharacteristically solemn. He’d barely said anything since you arrived at his apartment, his usual playfulness replaced with a strange tension that had settled in the air like a storm waiting to break.

You were sitting on the couch together, watching a movie, huddled up in a blanket due to the freezing living room; product of your broken heater, but his focus was elsewhere. He kept fidgeting, his fingers playing with the sleeve of his hoodie, his eyes fixed on the floor.

“Lix, are you okay, baby?” you asked softly, reaching out to touch his arm.

He flinched slightly at your touch, pulling his arm away before giving you a tight smile, and then in regret letting his arm rest into yours slightly. “Yeah, I’m fine. Just tired.”

You frowned. That wasn’t the Felix you knew. He'd never flinch at your touch or pull away; rather the opposite. Normally, he’d be snuggling up against you, cracking jokes, or commenting on the movie, but tonight he was distant, like he was somewhere far away.

“Are you sure?” you pressed, concern lacing your voice. “You’ve seemed off all day, love.”

Felix shrugged, avoiding your gaze. “I’m fine, really.” His lips were turned downwards, his eyes not looking as bright as they usually did.

You weren’t convinced, but you didn’t want to push too hard. So, you tried to lighten the mood instead, hoping to bring back the Felix you knew. “Maybe you’re just tired of hearing me talk. I mean, you’ve been so quiet tonight, maybe I’ve been boring you to death.” You took a breath and straightened your posture. "I'll stop yapping if you want some quiet. I wouldn't want to rain on the sunshine boy's day." You said patting his head, but he pulled away harshly this time.

It was meant as a joke, something playful to ease the tension. But the second the words left your mouth, Felix’s face changed. His expression hardened, and he stood up abruptly, startling you.

“Is that what you think?” he asked, his voice low, but there was an edge to it that you hadn’t heard before.

You blinked, confused by the sudden change in his demeanor. “What? No, I was just joking, Lix-”

“Yeah, well, maybe it’s not funny,” he snapped, his eyes flashing with a mix of anger and hurt. “Maybe I’m not in the mood to laugh right now.”

Your heart sank at the sight of him standing there, his shoulders tense, his jaw clenched. You hadn’t meant to upset him - you had just been trying to make things better, but it was clear now that you’d only made them worse.

“I didn’t mean it like that,” you said quickly, standing up and reaching for him, but Felix stepped back, shaking his head.

“It’s not about that,” he muttered, running a hand through his hair in frustration. “It’s about everything.”

“Everything?” you repeated, your voice small. “Felix, what are you talking about? Did I do something wrong? Are we breaking up?”

He let out a bitter laugh, one that sounded so wrong coming from him. “It’s about how no matter what I do, I’m always the one who’s ‘cute’ or ‘sweet’ or ‘sunshine,’ never anything else. Just that. Never enough.”

“Felix, you’re more than enough,” you said, your voice shaking as you stepped closer to him. “You’re amazing in every way-” You didn't know what he was talking about. What did he mean by "never enough"? What did he mean by "just that"?

“Am I?” he interrupted, his voice rising. “Because sometimes it feels like I’m just here to make everyone else feel better. Like I’m only worth something because I’m the one always smiling, always making everyone laugh. But what happens when I’m not? What happens when I can’t be that ‘sunshine’ everyone expects me to be? Then what?”

His words hit you hard, and for the first time, you could see how much weight Felix had been carrying. He had always been the bright one, the happy one, the one who brought light into any room. But beneath that light was a darkness he’d kept hidden, a fear of never being seen for who he truly was.

“Felix, that’s not true,” you whispered, your voice breaking as you took another step toward him. “You’re not just some...some image of sunshine to me. You’re so much more than that.” Your eyes were watery and you tried to stay strong and blink the tears away. You rubbed your face and sniffed, trying to wipe the beginning flow of a stream of snot. "I...love you for much more than that..."

But Felix didn’t seem to hear you. He was lost in his own thoughts, spiraling further into his insecurities, and you could see the hurt etched on his face.

“You don’t get it,” he muttered, his eyes dark with frustration. “You don’t understand what it’s like to feel like you could become useless any second; to go from enough to not enough in an instant - to feel like the only thing you’re good at is pretending everything’s fine. And that that is the only reason people like you.”

You opened your mouth to respond, but the words wouldn’t come. What could you say to make him believe you? To make him see that he was more than enough, that his value didn’t depend on always being the happy one?

“I’m tired,” Felix finally whispered, his voice so soft it was barely audible. “I’m tired of pretending. I'm tired of everything, to be honest.”

The vulnerability in his words broke your heart, and you reached out for him again, this time gently taking his hand in yours. But Felix didn’t look at you. His gaze was fixed on the floor, as if he couldn’t bear to face you.

“I don’t want to lose you,” you whispered, your voice trembling with the weight of everything unsaid. You didn't want to break up. Ever. “Please, Lixxie talk to me?" Your voice was hanging by a thread.

One that was instantly snapped as Felix didn’t respond, just pulling his hand away from yours, his body tense with a pain you couldn’t reach. And without even a final glance, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving you standing there in the cold room and a silence that rivaled it.

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ᔕEᑌᑎGᗰIᑎ

Seungmin had always been known for his calm demeanor and quiet strength. He didn’t outwardly seek attention like others, but his presence was undeniable - a steadying force in any storm. He someone people could rely on, the one who would always be there, quietly doing his best.

But there were things Seungmin never said out loud, things he buried beneath his composed exterior.

Lately, you had noticed a shift in him. The small, easy moments you used to share had been replaced by a distance you couldn’t quite explain. His responses were shorter, his smiles less frequent, and though he never said it, something was clearly weighing on him.

You were worried about it. Your two-year anniversary around the corner, and it made you wonder if he was considering ending things. Maybe he was tired of you?

It had been another long day at the dorm, and you were hanging out with Seungmin in the living room, just trying to enjoy some downtime. But there was an unspoken tension between you, and every attempt at conversation seemed to hit a wall.

“Seungmin, is everything okay?” you asked, your voice soft but filled with concern. He had been so quiet lately, and you were worried that something was wrong. "Did I do something to upset you?"

Seungmin looked up from his phone, his expression carefully neutral. “Yeah, I’m fine,” he said, but there was a slight edge to his voice, one you hadn’t heard from him before. "And no, you didn't."

You frowned, not convinced. “Are you sure? You’ve seemed really distant lately...like something’s bothering you. And- And I just wanted to make sure I didn't accidentally hurt your feelings or something...”

He sighed, rubbing the back of his neck as if he didn’t want to have this conversation. “I’m just tired. It’s nothing.”

But you knew it wasn’t nothing. There was something beneath the surface, something he wasn’t saying, and you hated feeling like you were being shut out. Seungmin wasn’t one to wear his heart on his sleeve, but he had never been this distant before.

“You don’t have to tell me everything,” you said gently, trying to reach him. “But I’m here if you need to talk. You don’t have to handle everything on your own, you know?”

Seungmin’s eyes flickered for a moment, but then his walls came back up. He shrugged, giving you a tight smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “I’m handling it.”

That was when the frustration bubbled up inside you. You weren’t angry at him, but the distance he was creating hurt, and you didn’t know how to bridge the gap.

In simplest terms: he was scaring you.

“Seungmin, you can’t keep everything bottled up forever,” you said, your voice a little sharper than you intended. “You don’t have to pretend like everything’s fine all the time.”

Seungmin’s jaw clenched, and for the first time, you saw something flicker in his eyes - something like hurt, or maybe frustration. But it disappeared just as quickly.

“I’m not pretending,” he said quietly, but there was a coldness in his voice now.

You didn’t want to push him, but you couldn’t just sit there and pretend like everything was okay when it clearly wasn’t. You couldn't let whatever was bothering him fester even more; because if that would result in the end of your relationship than you wouldn't be able to live with yourself for not trying to save it. “It feels like you’re shutting me out, Seungmin. And I don’t know why.”

He was quiet for a long moment, and just when you thought he wasn’t going to respond, he stood up abruptly, running a hand through his hair. “Maybe because I am shutting you out.”

The words were so quiet you almost didn’t hear them, but when they finally sank in, your heart dropped.

“What?” you whispered, standing up to face him. “Seungmin, why...why won't you just explain to me what I did?”

"Sometimes I feel like I'm not who everyone thinks I am."

"Min what do you mean by that?"

"Nothing-"

"Why won't you tell me?"

Seungmin’s eyes were dark with frustration now, and for the first time, you saw a crack in his usually calm demeanor. “Because maybe I don't want to tell you!" He shouts.

The weight of his words hit you like a semi.

“Seungmin, whatever is wrong please- tell me,” you said quickly, taking a step closer to him. "We're supposed to rely on each other in times like these. You can rely on me just like I can rely on you-"

But before you could finish, Seungmin cut you off, his voice laced with bitterness. “Isn't that the problem?” He let out a sarcastic laugh. "I'm the reliable one? So much so that I'm known as the quiet one who is always there when people need him? Like need him need him?"

Your throat tightened, and you felt a lump forming in your chest. You had no idea he felt this way, no idea he had been struggling with this sense of invisibility.

Was that what he was struggling with?

Because for some reason you felt as if it was much more than what you were assuming. But maybe your assumption was correct?

“I’m sorry,” you whispered, reaching for him, but Seungmin took a step back, shaking his head. "If you feel invisible-"

“Don’t,” he muttered, his voice strained. “I need...I just need some space right now. I don't think you could even understand if I tried to explain.”

And before you could say anything else, he turned and walked out of the room, leaving you standing there in the suffocating silence, your heart aching with the weight of everything unsaid.

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ᒍEOᑎGIᑎ

You’d always admired Jeongin for his youthful spirit and the way he managed to balance the pressures of his career with a bright, playful attitude. But beneath that light-hearted exterior, you knew there were layers to him - things he didn’t always reveal. His role as the youngest in Stray Kids often came with expectations that weighed heavily on him, but Jeongin rarely spoke about it unless he was feeling vulnerable.

Today had been one of those days where he seemed a bit quieter than usual. You had both decided to hang out at the dorm, hoping to unwind after his busy schedule. Everything was normal, at first. You were teasing him about his latest performance, laughing about something silly he did on stage. He had been smiling, but there was a hint of something in his eyes that made you pause.

"You're so lucky, Innie," you said without thinking, the words slipping out as you laughed. "Everyone always loves the maknae. You get all the attention without even trying." It was true.

He didn't even try catching your attention, but the minute you saw him you had an unmistakable attraction; an irrepressible pull to him.

Jeongin's smile faltered, his dimple disappearing, and his eyes dropped to the floor. He didn’t respond right away, which was unusual for him. You realized too late that what you’d said had hit a nerve. You had only meant it as a lighthearted comment, but there was an underlying truth to it that stung.

"Innie?" you asked cautiously, your laughter fading as you noticed the sudden shift in his demeanor.

Jeongin stood up slowly, turning away from you as he ran a hand through his hair. His movements were tense, his back rigid as he faced the wall.

"Jeongin...what's wrong?" you asked softly, feeling a knot form in your stomach. You hadn’t meant to upset him.

He let out a bitter laugh, shaking his head. "You think it’s lucky? Being the youngest, being the one everyone looks at like I’m some kind of...kid."

Your heart dropped. "No, I didn’t mean it like that baby I mean-"

"But that’s what you think, right?" Jeongin interrupted, his voice quiet, but hardening. He turned to face you, and you were taken aback by the hurt in his eyes. "You think because I’m the maknae, I don’t have to try? That everything’s just handed to me? Because thats what you make it seem like..."

The guilt washed over you in waves. You had never imagined that your words would trigger something so deep, but now you could see just how much he had been holding in. Jeongin had always laughed off his role as the youngest, but now you realized it had weighed on him far more than you knew.

"Jeongin, that’s not what I think at all," you said, your voice trembling with regret, and your bottom lip turning downwards. "I didn’t mean to make it sound like that."

He clenched his fists, his expression a mix of frustration and sadness. "Do you know how hard it is to be seen as a kid all the time? No matter what I do, people look at me like I’m just the cute, young one. Like I can’t be serious, like I don’t work as hard as everyone else."

You could feel the pain behind his words, and it broke your heart. "I’m sorry," you whispered, stepping closer to him. "I didn’t know you felt this way."

Jeongin shook his head, stepping back as if he didn’t want you to get too close. "Of course you didn’t," he muttered bitterly. "Because I don’t talk about it. I don’t complain. I just...deal with it. And if it comes up I just laugh it off because I'm a kid. That's all my hyungs see and all the fans see and all you see."

He looked down at the floor, his shoulders slumping. The silence between you felt heavy, and you didn’t know how to fix what you had unintentionally broken. You had hurt him, and you weren’t sure if he would let you in to make it right.

"Maybe I should go," Jeongin said suddenly, his voice cold and distant.

Panic rose in your chest- did you mess everything up? Did something you see as a small issue snowball into a major catalyst of your happiness? "No, wait-"

But before you could stop him, Jeongin grabbed his jacket and headed for the door. His retreating figure left you standing there, feeling helpless, your heart aching with guilt. You had never seen him like this - so vulnerable, so fragile. And it was your words that had caused those cracks to appear.

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@abovenyx @wolfs-archive @oddracha

@iyeeeverydee @parisanmorovati @seungmincenteric

@panbish-1209 @fxiry-vtt @sseawavee

@shuporanporang @amarecerasus @softkisshyunjin

@whoa-jo @meanergreener @rikibun

@ayyonoona @shinywombatcrusade @y4yayael

@skzstan12345 @mariteez @allys-reads

@jazziwritesthings @skzstannie @yongbokkiesworld

@kkkeopi @neverendingstay @moony-9

@minsungsthirdwheel @everlastingspring143 @joyofbebbanburg

@leezanetheofficial @tr-mha-fan @bubbly-moon

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[chexnluv]

BREAKUP PRANK ON ENHYPEN , (💬)

pairing: boyfriend ! enhypen × girlfriend ! afab reader, genre: fluff, smau, synopsis: basically pranking enhypen with breakup texts, [NAV] [MASTERLIST]

© chexnluv | tumblr

[dazed--xx]

SKZ!Fake Texts: He Calls You Clingy II (Maknae Line)

Part 1 Part 3 Hyung Line

Jisung:

Felix:

Seungmin:

Jeongin:

Taglist: @jaquisos @lovesunshinefelix @lixpixstix

[snowyquokka]

maknae line buys you roses

fem!reader

cw: fluffffff, cried while making seungmins

hyung line

✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧✧

ᴊɪsᴜɴɢ

ғᴇʟɪx

sᴇᴜɴɢᴍɪɴ

ᴊᴇᴏɴɢɪɴ

[tinytinyblogs]

Does My Shirt Smell?

Prank them by asking them to smell your shirt, only to lean in and kiss their forehead instead—then watch their reaction!

Hyung line, Maknae line

Stray Kids Masterlist 1.0 & 2.0

Your insights and reactions make these posts come alive. Love reblogs, comments, and all the good vibes welcome ✨

Han

Han couldn't suppress the shy smile creeping across his face as your lips brushed against his forehead. The warmth lingered, and for a moment, he froze, his thoughts spiraling into the meaning behind your sudden gesture. When he realized you’d asked him that question just to prank him, a soft chuckle escaped his lips. "Ah, you're playing dirty," he muttered, turning his head to the side in a futile attempt to hide his amusement. His heart betrayed him, though, as his lips stretched into a wide, helpless grin. He tried to keep his composure, but it was no use. You had a way of breaking down his walls effortlessly. With a deep breath, he turned back to you, his gaze now filled with both adoration and mischief. Slowly, he reached out, his hand finding its place on your waist, pulling you closer until the space between you was nearly nonexistent. "What should I do with you?" he murmured, his voice low but tinged with affection. His eyes searched yours, a mix of playful exasperation and undeniable tenderness reflecting in them. "You're too adorable and lovable for your own good," he added with a slight shake of his head, as though scolding you for the effect you had on him. Yet, the corners of his mouth betrayed him, curling into another smile.

As his fingers gently caressed your cheek, his touch was featherlight, as though afraid you might disappear if he wasn’t careful. The moment felt suspended in time, his focus entirely on you. Leaning in, he pressed a soft kiss to your forehead, mirroring the one you’d given him earlier. It was slow and deliberate, his way of savoring the fleeting intimacy of the moment. "You make me fall for you even more every single day," he confessed, his voice barely above a whisper. There was a vulnerability in his tone that he rarely let show, and it made his words hit even harder. "It’s bad, you know," he continued, his thumb brushing against your cheek as his eyes held yours. "Now I can’t let you go." His arms tightened slightly around your waist, grounding himself in the reality that you were right here, with him. The world around you seemed to fade, leaving just the two of you in this bubble of shared warmth and affection. "What am I going to do with you?" he asked again, his voice soft, almost as if he were asking himself. You laughed lightly, the sound melting into the air between you, and Han couldn’t help but smile in return. "I guess I’ll just have to keep falling," he said at last, his voice filled with a mix of resignation and joy. "Every day, over and over, for you."

Felix

The moment you asked Felix if your shirt smelled bad, he didn’t think twice. He genuinely wanted to help and leaned in closer without hesitation, his brows knitting slightly as he focused on checking. His movements were thoughtful, his nose hovering near your shoulder. Just as he began to take a whiff, you leaned in and pressed a kiss to his forehead. Felix froze for a brief moment, caught completely off guard by your sudden gesture. Slowly, he tilted his head up, his eyes meeting yours with an expression that was equal parts amused and surprised. A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he shook his head lightly. "Okay… you got me," he said, his voice laced with a playful tone. But instead of pulling away or calling you out further, he did something unexpected—he leaned back in to continue his "inspection." His lips quirked into a small smile as he sniffed your shirt one more time, his actions now slower, more deliberate, and clearly meant to tease you back. "It doesn’t smell bad, darling," he finally said, his voice warm and filled with affection.

Felix straightened up, crossing his arms as he gave you a knowing look. His soft, freckled face lit up with a grin that was impossible to resist. "You know," he began, tilting his head slightly, "you didn’t have to pull a trick just to kiss me. You could’ve just asked, and I’d have gladly let you." His words were teasing, but there was a tender sincerity behind them that made your heart flutter. He stepped a little closer, his hand brushing against your arm as he gazed at you with that familiar mix of warmth and mischief. "Still, I’ll admit that was a pretty smooth move," he added with a small laugh, his dimples deepening as his smile grew wider. Leaning in, Felix placed a gentle kiss on your temple, his lips lingering just long enough to make your heart skip a beat. "Next time, just tell me what you want, yeah?" he murmured softly, his voice carrying a playful edge that made you laugh in return. As the two of you stood there, sharing quiet laughter and stolen glances, Felix’s presence wrapped around you like a warm hug—effortless and full of love.

Seungmin

It’s not like he’d fall for a trick that easily. When you first asked that question, his eyebrows shot up in mild confusion. "Why are you even asking? You normally never smell bad," he replied, his tone laced with skepticism. Shrugging it off, he returned to what he was doing, clearly unbothered. But when you asked again—and then maybe even a third time—his interest was piqued. Something about your persistence felt odd, almost suspicious. With a curious tilt of his head, he stepped closer, narrowing his eyes slightly as he studied your expression. "You’re acting weird," he muttered, his voice low as if trying to solve a mystery. He leaned in, hesitant at first, moving to take a whiff as though humoring you. And that’s when it happened. Before he could even register what was going on, your lips brushed against his forehead in a quick, affectionate kiss. The sudden gesture caught him off guard, and for a split second, his body froze. His eyes widened slightly as the realization sank in. Slowly, he pulled back, his expression a mixture of disbelief and amused irritation.

"I knew it," he said, pointing a finger at you like he’d just solved a grand conspiracy. "I knew there was something off about that question. It was too weird coming from you." He shook his head, crossing his arms over his chest as if trying to regain the upper hand. But the faint smile tugging at the corners of his lips betrayed him. "That was lame," he finally declared, though his voice lacked any real bite. Instead, it was filled with a playful fondness that he couldn’t quite suppress. He looked away for a moment, trying to gather his composure, but when he glanced back at you, the warmth in his eyes was unmistakable. "Seriously, though," he said, stepping closer again, this time with a teasing glint in his gaze. "Who even comes up with a question like that? You’re so obvious." Yet, as he stood there, so close that you could feel the warmth radiating from him, he reached out and gently flicked your forehead. "Don’t think you’re off the hook for that, though. Next time, I’m the one pulling the tricks." His soft laugh lingered in the air, leaving you both wrapped in the playful comfort of the moment.

Jeongin

When you leaned in and kissed Jeongin on the forehead, his reaction was immediate—and entirely unexpected. He looked up at you with wide eyes, his face frozen in an exaggerated expression of surprise, as if you’d just done something utterly shocking. For a moment, he stayed like that, his lips parting as if to say something, but then he let out a soft, theatrical mumble: "What was that?" Without waiting for an answer, he turned and walked away, his shoulders slumping dramatically as he headed toward the couch. His movements were slow and deliberate, almost like he wanted you to notice. You watched him, a mix of confusion and amusement bubbling inside you. But as he flopped down on the couch with a heavy sigh, doubt began to creep in. "Is he really sulking?" you wondered to yourself. Unable to ignore the possibility, you stepped closer, leaning over slightly to catch his gaze. "Innie, are you mad?" you asked, your voice soft but tinged with concern. He didn’t respond right away, which only made you more nervous. But then, in a flash, his serious expression broke into a mischievous grin.

Before you could process what was happening, Jeongin shot up from his seat, his arms wrapping around you in a tight hug. "Gotcha!" he exclaimed, his voice filled with laughter as he pulled you even closer. Your heart skipped a beat, both from relief and the sudden closeness. But Jeongin wasn’t done yet. "Now," he said, his voice dropping into a playful tone, "it's revenge time." Before you could protest, he began showering you with kisses—on your cheeks, your forehead, your nose, anywhere he could reach. His actions were filled with an infectious joy that made it impossible not to laugh. You tried to squirm away, but his hold was firm, his arms wrapped around you like a warm cocoon. "Stop it!" you giggled, though your smile betrayed how much you were enjoying the moment. Jeongin finally paused, resting his forehead gently against yours, his grin still firmly in place. "That’s what you get for sneaking up on me," he teased, his voice soft but filled with affection. As the two of you stood there, wrapped in each other’s arms, it was hard to tell who had truly won the playful battle—but neither of you really cared.

[highesthealer]

Hiii so i just watch this video and i thought most of them are possessive/jealous character and im curious like im curious about how they handle their jealous/possessive feelings to their gf if its happen they feels jealous/possessive to their gf

https://x.com/taereungzcore/status/1736422810355163242?t=NijIpluKFattPWDG-_BOww&s=19

(But anyway note the ni-ki one the op said that it seems like ni-ki misunderstood the questions🥲🥲)

ENHYPEN NI-KI

POSSESSION AND JEALOUSY

DISCLAIMER: i’m practicing astrology with experience of two years in different fields. contact me for any question. for more info on instagram

𖠋 ni-ki is a boy who will not date a person unless he is exactly interested in them.

𖠋 a guy is quick to pick up on the mood of someone he likes.

𖠋 it’s easy to solve problems in an argument with him if he really cares about the person.

𖠋 he likes his partner to be the center of attention and he's proud of it.

𖠋 riki has big trust and self-esteem issues, so in the first relationship will give his all and do his best.

𖠋 he enjoys being dependent in a relationship, so anything a partner offers him to try, he's more likely to accept.

𖠋 this boy likes to pretend to be a child in relationships, but only when no one else can see it.

𖠋 he has many fears. he realizes that he needs experience to protect himself and others from trouble.

𖠋 loves to provoke. if ni-ki has any tantalizing information, he always uses it against his partner.

𖠋 a true stalker. if he loves hard, that partner is forever in his heart.

𖠋 he's still searching for his true self, it's still hard for him to show confidently sincere feelings.

𖠋 likes confident people, so he often falls in love with memorable people.

𖠋 often pretends not to care, but when he realizes it's not going in his favor, he speaks sternly and immediately.

𖠋 wants to know all the people his partner keep in touch with, otherwise he's worried all the time.

𖠋 ni-ki is so picky and playful. if he has a crush on someone who likes something a lot, but ni-ki has never tried it, he's sure to research and try it well to appear cool in the eyes of the person he likes.

[yankpop]

Yandere BTS: Punishment - Maknae Line

DISCLAIMER: This is a FICTION work only made for entertainment purposes that includes yandere/dark. I do not support or encourage any type of abusive behaviour. 

Check more: Masterlist.

Female reader

WARNINGS: Toxic/Unhealthy Relations; Implied Kidnapping (Jimin/Jk) ; Violence.  

AN: Hope you guys like it 💖 Let me know!

--

Jimin

“No, no, no, please… Jimin, please!” you desperately plead, fear striking deep as his hand slowly stalks towards your ankle, his fingers teasing the soft skin with a cruel smirk on his lips at watching your reaction.

“Oh, baby, where’s the tough girl attitude now? Gone?”

You keep your lips tightly closed, eyes wide open, anxious over what is coming. 

“So sad, I was enjoying seeing you pretend to be someone that you clearly aren’t.” Jimin pouts his lips, mimicking a baby voice as he makes fun of you. 

But immediately his amusement soon dies, the smile scarily slipping from his face as irritation replaces it.

You hate how bipolar Jimin seems at times. 

“You should've never - never - had gone against my word. Had you been a good girl to me, there would be no need to be putten back into your place."

"But you’re a stupid, dumb girl.” he spits to your face as his fingers dangerously narrow around your ankle, making you wince in distress. 

You shake your head, eyes watering with silent pleas that go by ignored. 

“Bad girls don’t deserve rewards. They deserve pain. That’s what you deserve, you little bitch.” 

An ear-curdling scream escapes from your lips as Jimin snaps your ankle, the bone cracking with a sickening sound.   

“I wanna see how far you will run away from me with a broken foot.”

V

Access denied. 

You almost choke when the notification shows up. It can’t be real. It’s a glitch or a mistake.

It has to be. 

But no matter how many times you log into your bank account, the app warning is the same. 

You simply don’t have access to the money in the bank account. Your own money. 

You’re so distraught by this that you don’t even notice Taehyung leaning against the door, eyes carefully seeing you. 

“I suppose you’ve discovered it.”

You look up, a frown on your face. 

“The bank… my account... it’s not-”

“I cut your access to it.” the words leave his mouth as if it’s no big deal. 

“What? Why? It’s my money!” your voice wavers when he raises his brows, slightly annoyed at your burst. 

“And you’re my girlfriend, so your money is mine too.” Taehyung solemnly declares, tongue poking in his cheek. 

Your mouth drops open at his words. A flame of anger ignites inside you, only to be quickly smothered underneath his hard gaze.

“You need to-”

“No, you need to start behaving like you actually have a brain in that head of yours.” he interrupts you, raising his voice above yours, shutting you down. “You’re nothing without me. You can’t even control your own life, let alone your bank account.”

Taehyung’s tone gets meaner with every step he takes, slowly moving forwards towards you. 

“Anyways, why do you even need money if I’m here to provide for you, babe? You need me and nothing else.”

Jungkook

A pained cry escapes your lips as the belt roughly connects with your sore ass. Your hand grip the sheets tighter, pain spreading through your back, making it harder to ignore.

The deep breaths you attempt to take are a failed exercise that doesn't help you at all, if anything it only makes your pain worse. 

“This one is for lying to me.” Jungkook declares, voice filled with contained anger. You can only cry as the skin of your arse burns, sobbing when he twists your wrist to keep you from writhing around. 

Another sharp hit has you burying your face into the bed sheets, muffling down your sobs. But you’re still able to hear him speak. 

“This one is for betraying my trust.” 

“This one is for being disrespectful to me.”

“This one is for spitting on my face.”

By the time Jungkook is finally over with the punishment, you’re dissolved into a complete mess of tears and snot, shaking and flinching at every movement you take. 

Your ass is literally on fire, the skin too sensitive to handle the punishment you just received. 

He pushes your limp body against his, forcing you into an unwanted hug. Jungkook presses a loving kiss to your sweaty forehead, humming as you cry. 

“You know that I didn’t want to do this, right? But you gave me no other option, love. If you had behaved, this wouldn’t have happened. It’s your own fault.” 

His tattooed hand gently pushes some hairs out of your wet cheek. 

“Hopefully you’ve learnt your lesson, babe. Cause I don’t mind repeating this punishment.” 

[senascoop]

☁︎ . , INTIMATE HORIZONS , Y.JW ! 18+

PAIRING. virgin ! jungwon × virgin ! afab reader. . SYNOPSIS. jungwon and you have been dating for years. despite your deep connection, the topic of sex has always been awkwardly avoided. both virgins and nervous about messing things up. but one night, you decide it’s time to take that step together. . GENRE. smut, virgins and clumsy-imperfect sex (sort of?), established relationship. . WARNING(S). virgins, clumsy and imperfect sex, kisses, boob play, nipple play, clit rubbing, first time, nsfw, mdni, mentions of premature release, protected sex, a little dirty talk (?), etc, lmk if i missed anything. . WORD COUNT. 2k.

The storm outside was a symphony of chaos, the heavy rain drumming a frenzied rhythm against the windowpanes, each droplet a tiny drumstick pounding out a primal beat that seemed to echo the fervent tempo of your heart.

You sat across from Jungwon, your breaths coming in soft, uneven gasps that mirrored the tumultuous weather outside. Your heart raced beneath the thin fabric of your blouse, and your chest rose and fell as your eyes drank in every inch of him.

Jungwon's hands, large and gentle, were clenched on his thighs, his knuckles turned white from the force of his grip. His eyes, dark pools of emotion, darted from your face to the curves of your body, and back again, a silent conversation passing between you.

Your fingers toyed with the fabric of your top, the pads of your fingertips tracing the delicate fabric, as if seeking the courage to reach out and touch him. You watched Jungwon's lips, full and soft, as he spoke, memorizing every word that passed between you.

"May I...?" Jungwon's voice was barely a whisper, his words laced with hesitation. His eyes met yours, a silent question hanging in the air between you. He reached out, his hand slow and deliberate, his fingers brushing against your wrist.

You nodded, your throat too tight to speak. His touch was warm, his fingers wrapping around your wrist, his thumb gently brushing against your pulse. He guided your hand to his chest, his own heartbeat a rapid drum against your palm. "I'm nervous," he confessed, his voice low.

You could feel the taut muscles beneath his shirt, his chest rising and falling with each shallow breath. His eyes were locked onto yours, his expression a mix of vulnerability and desire. You slid your hand upwards, your fingers tracing the line of his collarbone before wrapping around the back of his neck.

He leaned in, his eyes fluttering closed as he neared your lips. "I've wanted to do this for so long," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. Your lips met, a soft, hesitant kiss that quickly turned into something more.

His arms wrapped around you, pulling you closer as the kiss deepened. You could feel his heart pounding in a steady rhythm against yours, his grip tightening as he traced your bottom lip with his tongue. His touch was electric, sending tingles down your spine that made your head spin.

You gasped as he broke the kiss, your chests rising and falling in sync. His eyes were dark, pupils dilated with desire and a hint of mischief. "Shall we continue this inside?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.

You nodded, your voice barely a whisper as you responded, "Yes, please." Your eyes fluttered closed as his hands slid down to your waist, lifting you effortlessly from the chair. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck as he carried you towards the bedroom.

The room was dimly lit, the only sound the soft rustling of clothes as Jungwon laid you down on the bed. He stood over you, his eyes roaming over your face before he slowly removed his shirt, revealing his toned chest and abs.

You bit your lip, your eyes taking in every inch of him as he slowly crawled onto the bed. "You're so beautiful," he murmured, his hands reaching for the hem of your shirt. "May I?" His voice was soft, his eyes meeting yours for permission.

You nodded, your breath hitching in your throat as he slowly peeled your shirt off, his fingers brushing against your skin. He leaned down, his lips pressing against your collarbone, his hands sliding up your sides to unhook your bra. "You're so perfect,"

Your breasts spilled free from their confines, his hands cupping them gently, his thumbs brushing against your hardened nipples. The peaks taut and begging for his touch.

Jungwon's mouth moved lower, his lips wrapping around your right nipple while his hand teased the other. He sucked on it gently, swirling his tongue around the peak while his fingers pinched and rolled the other nipple between them.

Your back arched off the bed, your body responding to his touch instinctively. Your fingers threaded through his hair, tugging gently and encouraging him to continue. Jungwon's free hand made its way down your torso, tracing a path over your stomach until he reached the waistband of your pants.

His touch was gentle, his fingers trembling slightly as he unbuttoned your pants and slowly slid the zipper down. He glanced up at you, his eyes seeking permission once more. You nodded, your own hands shaking as you reached for his belt, mirroring his actions.

Together, you both undressed each other, each touch tentative and filled with desire. When you were both bare, Jungwon settled between your thighs, his eyes locked onto yours. "I...I've never done this before," he confessed, his voice barely a whisper. "I want you so much."

Jungwon threw the last piece of cloth off, his cock sprang free from his boxers, the mushroom tip already glistening with precum. He quickly tore open a condom wrapper, rolling it down his shaft with practiced ease.

But as soon as he attempted to enter you, the condom burst, slick with his premature release. Jungwon let out a frustrated groan, discarding the ruined condom aside and reaching for another one. You couldn't help but giggle softly at the sight, finding his flustered state utterly adorable.

Jungwon leaned forward, his eyes locked on yours as he positioned himself between your legs. He reached down, running the mushroom tip of his leaking cock against your wetness, smearing the precum around your pussy lips and slicking himself up.

"You're so wet," he breathed, his voice husky with desire. "Is that all for me?" He asked, his fingers spreading your folds apart to reveal your swollen, needy flesh. He ran his thumb over your entrance, pressing it inside you as he slowly pumped it in and out.

"Y-Yes, all for you," you stammered, your face flushing with embarrassment. Jungwon's touch was clumsy, his inexperience evident as he tried to prepare you for him. He pushed another finger inside, scissoring them to stretch you wider.

"It-It's not enough," he muttered, more to himself than to you. He withdrew his fingers, bringing them to his mouth and sucking your nectar off of them. Your eyes widened at the gesture, your heart pounding in your chest. "Tastes like you,"

Jungwon positioned the tip of his cock at your entrance once more, his hand shaking slightly as he tried to align himself. He pushed forward, his thick head bumping against your tight ring of muscles. "Fuck, you're so small,"

"I-I know," you replied, biting your lower lip as you stared up at him. "It's my first time after all," you whispered, reaching out to place a reassuring hand on his shoulder.

Jungwon groaned, his face contorting in concentration as he tried to force his way inside. He pushed, and pushed, his cockhead stretching your delicate hymen to its breaking point. Finally, with a sharp pop, he broke through, the head of his dick sinking into your tight, virgin pussy.

"Oh god, it's so tight," he hissed, his hands gripping your thighs tightly. He looked up at you, his eyes filled with uncertainty. "Is it hurting you?" He asked softly, his voice barely a whisper. You nodded, but wrapped your legs around his waist, pulling him deeper.

Jungwon's breath hitched as he was pulled closer, his cock sinking deeper into your tight heat. He could feel your walls stretching to accommodate him, the pressure incredible. He looked down at where you two were connected, his dick disappearing into your tiny pussy. "Fuck, you're so fucking tight,"

He began to move slowly, his hips pulling back before thrusting forward again. His rhythm was uncoordinated, his movements clumsy as he struggled to find a comfortable pace. But with each thrust, he became bolder, his hips snapping forward harder, burying himself to the hilt inside of you.

You moaned, your back arching as his cock struck every sensitive spot inside of you. His hands moved to cup your breasts, squeezing and kneading them as he fucked you. Your walls began to clench around him, tighter with each passing moment as pleasure rolled through your body.

Jungwon leaned down, pressing his lips against yours in a deep, passionate kiss. His fingers left your breasts and slid down your body, slipping between your slick folds to find your swollen clit. He began to rub the sensitive nub gently as he continued to fuck you slowly.

You broke the kiss, panting heavily. "I love you so much," you whispered, your voice trembling with emotion. Jungwon's heart swelled in his chest, his love for you overwhelming him.

"And I love you too," he murmured, his breath hot against your skin. He began to rub your clit faster, feeling the walls of your pussy contract around his cock in response. Jungwon knew he wouldn't last much longer, not with the way you were responding to his touch.

You reached up, tangling your fingers in Jungwon's hair as he rubbed your clit and fucked you. "Don't stop," you begged, your hips bucking against him desperately. Jungwon kissed you again, his lips moving against yours as he rubbed your clit with one hand and fucked you with the other.

The pressure inside you grew unbearable, your body tensing as you climbed closer and closer to the edge. "Jungwon..." you whimpered, your voice barely a whisper. He nodded, his arms wrapping around you tightly as he increased the pressure on your swollen nub.

Your world narrowed down to the feeling of Jungwon's fingers on your clit and his cock buried inside you. The pressure became too much, and you came suddenly, your pussy spasming around his dick as you cried out in ecstasy.

Jungwon groaned against your neck, his own control snapping. He thrust into you twice more before burying himself to the hilt and coming inside you, his body shuddering with the force of his release. He slumped against you, his weight a comforting pressure on your body.

Jungwon lifted his head, looking into your eyes with a soft smile. He gently pulled out of you, both of you wincing at the sudden separation. He quickly disposed of the condom in the nearby trash can, returning to your side almost immediately.

You blushed, suddenly shy as you pulled the blankets over your naked body. Jungwon chuckled softly, leaning down to kiss your forehead. "Why so shy now?" He asked gently, his fingers entwining with yours beneath the blankets. "We just...you know...like that."

You hid your face in his chest, mumbling, "I know, but...it's different now. I'm not a virgin anymore. And you're...you're looking at me like you want to do it again." Jungwon laughed, his arms wrapping around you tightly.

"That's because I do," he admitted, his voice muffled against your hair. "But for now, let's just cuddle, okay?" He settled you against his chest, your head resting on his shoulder. "We have the rest of our lives to keep making love, after all."

You snuggled closer, your arms wrapping around him tightly. "I love you," you murmured contentedly. Jungwon tightened his grip on you, his love for you overflowing. "And I love you too," he replied, his voice filled with emotion.

He began to stroke your hair gently, his fingers running through the soft strands as you lay contentedly in his arms. Outside, the rain continued to pour, the sound a soothing lullaby that matched the rhythm of your breathing.

As you drifted off to sleep, nestled in Jungwon's arms, you knew that this was where you belonged. With him. Always. And in that moment, nothing else mattered. Not the storm outside, not the past, only the two of you and the love that bound you together.

© senascoop | tumblr

[chaezpie]

BEST FRIEND NIKI TEXTS (💬)

PAIRING! ⸻ bsf ! niki × female reader

NOTE! ⸻ totally random but I felt like uploading these..some of these can be cringe (or all 🥲)

MASTERLIST‼️

© CHAEZPIE | 2025 | DO NOT CLAIM AS YOURS

[tsukiflwr]

ᶻ 𝘇 𐰁 .ᐟ THINGS ENHA DO THAT MAKES YOU SECOUND-GUESS YOUR 'FRIENDSHIP'

𝓅airing ∿ maknae line! enha x f!reader ᰔ 𝒽eadcanons ; fluff, friends to lovers 𝓌; none that I know of! 𐙚 𝓌c 852 ᝰ.ᐟ 𝓇oro's note. I’m actually obsessed with making cutesy layouts like the blue is so prettyyyy﹒ ꒰ 𝓁ibrary ꒱ + 𝒽yung ver

KIM SUNOO ∿ the compliments he gives you

sunoo was a sweetheart. he was kind, caring, and attentive; all things that made him such a wonderful friend. he’s always been like that, even when the two of you first met as kids. he gave you a certain type of reassurance you have never felt from anyone else. he was always there to notice the small things no one ever did, always complimenting you and making you feel good about yourself. but his compliments started to feel more than him being a good friend . . . 

“that looks so good on you, that's definitely your color” he would muse with a smile as he softly touched the collar of your shirt, the way his fingers would ‘accidently’ graze your skin while doing so, never failing to make you a flustered mess as you thanked him. or compliments like, “your lips look so pretty with that on” he whispered in your ear as he pressed his body up against your side as you put on your new lipgloss – a gift from him of course. 

he didn't just compliment you on physical things, he complimented you on your intelligence, your kindness, how proud he was of you etc. and those – made you flustered than any other, because he really saw you like no one else. sunoo wasn't blind, he could see the effect his words had on you, he loved making you feel loved and special, and seeing how flustered and cute you were when he did was definitely a plus 

YANG JUNGWON ∿ always wants to spend time with you

when you first met jungwon in middle school, you had no idea how clingy he was, but you were quick to figure it out. it wasn't just you he was clingy with, so you thought nothing of it for a long time. but it was clear to everyone but you, that he spent most of his time with you. and you only found out once some of your shared friends brought up the fact that he was skipping out on playing ball with them on the weekends, so he could spend time with you. 

they were not upset about it, if anything they took that as a chance to tease you about him, asking if the two of you were dating, but you were always quick to shut them down, saying that you were just friends. but once you got home and really started to think about it you realized that your friends weren't just messing with you, that they were not imagining things. 

he really did always spend time with you, he was there to cuddle up in your bed on his phone while you studied at your desk (just so he could look at you), going grocery shopping with you so he could push the cart and pick up the heavy things (he loved when people mistook you as a couple), he loved coming along with you to your family gatherings (he loved how shy you would get when one of your family members asked if the two of you were dating yet) as you looked back on the years it was hard to not to realize how jungwon was by your side for almost everything, making you start to look at him in a different light . . .

NISHIMURA NI-KI ∿ how he treats you differently than his other friends

for the longest time you refused to believe your own thoughts of him liking you more than a friend. it was scary falling in love with your best friend, and it was even scarier not knowing if he felt the same way, for all you know, he wasn't even aware about how differently he treated you than his other friends. he didn't tease you like how he did with the others; he didn't have that competitive nature with you like he did with the others, he much preferred seeing you win and how happy you would get. 

when his other friends would ask him to grab them a water he would playfully complain and tell them to get it themselves (he would always end up getting it for them) but with you, you didn't even have to open your mouth and he was bringing you one back, rolling his eyes at the teasing smirks your shared friends sent him. when your friends would tell terrible jokes, ni-ki would always tease them about how bad it was, but with you he always laughed; even if he didn't think they were funny. he always saved you a seat next to him, and while he could never remember any of his other friend's orders, he had yours memorized. 

it wasn't just the sweet actions that he shared with you, but it was also the intimate moments where the two of you would talk about your emotions, having deep conversations and listening to music. those moments that you shared always had you overthinking. but while you were worrying about him liking you are not; he was trying to think of ways to make his feelings for you more obvious . . . 

𝓇oro's note. this is so much shorter than the hyung line so so sorry about that 😭 i really hope you guys like it !! 𝓃av

which member was your favorite?

likes, reblogs, comments and feedback are heavily encouraged !

[mlyscha]

( ✉️ ) 𝒜nony𝐦𝐨𝐮𝐬ly in l𝓸ve.

★ ( 언하이픈 NI-KI ) ── SUM. in which you have a crush on the popular guy in your class but is too shy to confess, sending him letters anonymously. genre. angst, cliche, fluff, crack, crush to more (?). 𝒻ℯ𝗆𝖺𝗅𝖾 𝗿𝖾𝖺𝒹𝖾𝗋! 𝓌𝒸. 799O ♡ 𝗅𝗂𝗄𝖾𝗌, 𝖼𝗈𝗆𝗆𝖾𝗇𝗍𝗌 𝖺𝗇𝖽 𝗋𝖾𝖻𝗅𝗈𝗀𝗌 𝖺𝗋𝖾 𝗮𝗹𝘄𝗮𝘆𝘀 𝗮𝗽𝗽𝗿𝗲𝗰𝗶𝗮𝘁𝗲𝗱! ( 𝐦𝖺𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝗅𝗂𝗌𝗍. ) ❔ PART.2

BIG warnings. mentions of food, reader is bullied by mean girls in class, jaeyun, heeseung and sunghoon study in the same class as riki, sexual term: "get his dick wet", curse and dirty words, vague mention of sending nudes, reader lives with her sister and grandma, reader mum's passed away, sunghoon's indirect kiss theory is mentioned, slow burn, not proofread, english is not my 1st language.

𝒜!NOTE. HAPPY LATEEEEE BIRTHDAY MY BABY RIKI, I LOVE YOU MWAH MWAH IM GONNA CRY I LOVE HIM SO MUCH!!!!! ><

YOU LOVE WATCHING YOUR CRUSH practice after class at an empty classroom. even though you felt nervous to be spotted and perceived as a creep, you kind of wanted to, wondering if riki would look deep into your eyes for the first time in years you've been loving him.

yesterday you wrote your first letter to him, expressing how much you admired him and how much you loved when his smile while he joked with his friends. you left the letter inside his backpack and watched his expression change the moment he realised something like a crumpled paper was hiding in the very depth of it. once you saw his frown and laugh while joking about the, well, the once love letter, you felt embarrassed ━ almost like ashamed.

you wondered for a second: why would he laugh at something you spent all night writing and planning how to give it to him? and why would he walk up to the trash bin? ━ did he threw it away? wait, did he? ━ your eyes began to form tears. you watched your crush walk out of the classroom while talking loudly with his friends, but the only thing that could be heard were your loud thoughts.

you quickly woke up from your trance and walk up to the trash bin to check if your situation was unfortunate. and i guess it was, well, is.

YOUR HEART BEGAN TO BEAT faster once your phone ringed. thankfully, riki wears earphones while practicing. you sighed before sitting on the ground while your back rested against the cold wall behind you.

"what do you want?!" "wow, someone's a bit grumpy today, huh? he didn't come to school?" your sister jokes. you take a deep breath before replying. "what do you want?!" you whine. "grandma is asking you to come back earlier," she says. "why?" "because she is worried about you." "okay, bye-" "wait! can you buy me some ice cream?" you sigh. "no! you just said grandma wants me to come back home earlier, dumbass!" "but... a few minutes won't hurt anyone! hang up and you'll get home even quicker! bye!" "by- ugh..."

you stood up from the ground, taking care to not be spotted again while adjusting your backpack. you took a quick glance at the classroom where riki were. however, he was gone, leaving you confused since you didn't know he just left. "does it means he saw me?!" you whispered-yelled, thinking to yourself. "did he?!" you glanced back, looking at nothing else than a beautiful orange sunset, temporarily painting those white walls.

YOU LEFT THE SCHOOL BUILDING and realised a few students were still wandering around the campus. you took a deep breath, enjoying the great weather of a breezy monday.

however, the weather felt colder and you began to feel fear, something about chills down your spine. that's when you knew they were coming. "hey, hey, hey, where do you think you're going, sweetie?" the three girls behind her chuckled after she called you that. "tell me," she looked down at you like you were a little kid. "is that how you want riki to call you, mhm?" she smirked while the other girls laughed again.

her name is yoko: an exchange student from japan. of course she protected riki with her heart! she is just his type and talks to her, differently from you. she is cute in the masculine perception, she has that haircut he loves, is good at everything and speaks three languages besides japanese. ━ literally a school queen bee.

"you want to have some fun with us tonight?" yoko placed her arm across your shoulders, abruptly pulling it to look down. "look at this scaredy cat!" she jokes, laughing out loud. "what are ya'll looking at?!" she yells at some students who were watching from afar. sighing, she angrily smiles. "you don't need to go home right now, right?" you keep yourself shut. "right, sweetie?" she pulls your hair and forces you to shake your head. "no, yeah... perfect! i am in a mood to..." she hums, thinking. "massage! ugh, my day was so stressful!" yoko leads you back to school, planning to get her massage done at one of the classrooms.

"Y/N, LISTEN: WHERE ARE YOU?!", "okay, at this point my ice cream is melted, come home!" "never mind, y/n, i don't want ice cream anymore, come home." your sister's voice echoed while you listened to her voicemail. you wondered if she were still awake at this point.

your head hurts and your mascara is ruined. your hands emptied and your legs almost giving up from being on your knees for two long hours. therefore, you called her while walking on the street back home.

"hey..." "Y/N?! WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU?!" "um... i got caught up on some things and-" "IT'S THOSE GIRLS AGAIN, RIGHT?! WHERE ARE YOU?!" "sis," you sigh. "stop. i am almost home." "stop? STOP, Y/N? WHAT HAVE THEY DONE TO YOU THIS TIME?! WHAT HAVE-" bep ━ you hang up on her face.

YOU TOOK A DEEP BREATH before unlocking your house's door, silently walking in just to encounter the lights off and a awkward silence creeping you; once you saw the feminine figure walking down the stairs. "y/n?!" your sister whispered yelled, rushing to check on you. "are you okay?" you nod. "what have they done to you this time, oh my god, look at your face!" she tries to rub her thumb against your smudged mascara, but you avoid it. "i'm going up to my room," "no, you-" "let me go!" you snap, tears streaming down your face. "today was a hard day, okay?" you sniff before sprinting to your room, leaving your sister dumbfounded.

"HOW WAS SCHOOL YESTERDAY, SWEETIE?" your grandma asks you while placing a piece of teared bread on your plate. "um... it went fine." "oh, yeah? i was worried about you... i apologise, i slept before you could arrive home, did you eat something?" "oh, yeah." you nod, smiling a little bit.

"liar," your sister murmurs. "what? liar? who?" your grandma questions her behavior, sitting on her chair. "did i say liar?" she chuckles, sitting beside you after taking a sip on her coffee. "i meant air fryer! i need to buy an air fryer..." she address you a deep glance, acting a little thoughtful. "but our oven works just fine, hun'" "oh, yeah, i know," she shrugs. "i was just doing like, um... manifestation...?" "you and that manifestation thing," the old lady laughs.

"um... i should get going by now, i'll be late..." you murmur, standing up from the table still chewing on some bread. "okay, sweetie, take care!" your grandma and your sister wave at you and you finally walk out of your house.

you sigh before checking the time on your phone, making sure you could still get the bus to your school. confirming you were good, you walked to the nearest stop like you always did. you picked up your earphones from your backpack and began to listen to some music, focusing on your own steps, looking down.

feeling calmed down while holding the letter you wrote last light, you recapped your plan, in which: you will try to slip between his locker gaps. and then, you-

"oh, sorry," you bump onto someone's back, interrupting your thoughts. you take off your earphones before replying. "oh, no problem..." your tongue felt dumb for a second when you recognised those hands. those hands belongs to someone you like. someone you love. suddenly, reality check began to hit you, and realising your lover's hand were handing you the letter ━ supposed to be delivered a few hours later ━ you panicked.

"um... it's not mine!" you speak nervously, taking a few steps back while waving your hands. "but- it came out of your- um.. somewhere?" "u-uh... you can j-just throw it in the trash nearby-" "what? no way i am letting this go into the trash, this looks fire!" riki smiles. "you think so...?" "yeah! it's beautiful, man," ━ why did you throw it away yesterday, then?

"oh... but why would you keep it, it's not really necessary..." "why are you so interested on what i am going to do with this letter if it doesn't belongs to you?" riki suddenly speaks up, chuckling at your dropped jaw. he slips the/your letter on his trouser's pocket and nods at the bus ━ that just arrived ━ like he was telling you: let's go. ━ so you enter the vehicle.

you watched riki greet his friends that were already sat on the bus. by somewhat miracle, you were fated to sit beside him. your legs felt like jelly when he looked at you up and down before nodding his head at the empty sit beside the window. it took you a few seconds before walking up to that sit.

uncomfortably is how you felt for riki once he sat beside you, an awkward silence was created and the only thing you were hearing was his friends laughter while the japanese boy murmured something. you felt embarrassed, like you were a rock on their ways. somehow a burden.

"hey," a deep voice echoed close to you. you glance to your side and your eyes meet with riki's. "what happened to your knees?" he nods at your knees once he realised you didn't seemed aware. "you would you look down to my knees?" your crush's face expression changed to a confused one, almost like surprised by your question. "wow, i am not interest on you or in your intimacy, i was just simply curious," he lets out a nasal chuckle, almost like mocking you. "but, never mind, i guess..." you sigh, putting your earphones back, realising you just ruined everything.

IT WAS LUNCH TIME AND you have written your crush a letter while sitting on a toilet at the restroom's stall. you couldn't craft an envelope, so you apologised while thinking about what else to write. with that, while no one was walking by at the hallway, you took the chance to put your plan into action and slip the letter into his locker ━ you also wrote on the letter that you were upset he threw your letter away, giving him a hint you were from his class.

once the bell ringed, you were already at class taking some notes from last class. you saw riki walk in while holding your opened letter. your cheeks felt hotter, your surroundings was forgotten and your eyes locked on him.

feeling the burning sight, riki tries to find who was marking a kiss on his back, meeting his eyes with you for a second, nothing special. however, that was enough to get you all shy and giggly ━ obviously on the inside.

"Y/N! UGH, WHERE IS SHE?!" yoko's scream was heard throughout the halls and your eyes widened once you realised how mad she sounded. "I AM GOING TO KILL THAT BITCH!" once you heard that you started to run, you ignored everything: the growing embarrassment feeling inside of you and the looks people were giving you. "THERE IS THAT WHORE! I AM GOING TO KILL YOU!" she shouts, running towards you. "YOU CAN RUN AS MUCH AS YOU WANT, BITCH!"

while running, you looked back and drew your attention to her. with this little lack of attention, you bumped onto someone, in which you prayed it wasn't riki. however, that smell... that chest... that voice... "shit!" that was riki.

"I PROMISE! SHE DEFAMED ME! that's why i chased her!" you listened yoko complain to the principal. "is that true, miss?" the principal questions you, cocking a brow. you breathed to speak but the japanese girl had other plans. "yes! it is true, mr. yang! she did it!" "yoko, let your colleague answer!" "um... it's not tru-" "STOP LYING, YOU IDIOT!" she yelled. "SHUT UP!" you stood up from your seat. "GIRLS! STOP! YOU TWO WILL BE CLEANING THE SCHOOL AFTER CLASS! DONE!"

"UGH! THIS IS UNFAIR!" you shout. "miss, watch your tone..." the principal threatens. "huh?! watch my tone?" you chuckle, slowly looking at mr. yang with teary eyes. "mr. yang, i think you didn't listen the way she called me an idiot and all the times i've complained about yoko's behaviour towards me! you don't listen!" "enough, y/n! i am calling the person in charge of you." "but-" "NO buts, dismissed," you sigh before walking to the door. "wait, miss y/n, i am keeping an eye on you!" the principal points at you, making your eyes roll with frustration.

once both of you walked off of the principal's office, yoko turned her face at you with a creepy smile. "i am not staying late cleaning this lousy school with you, i hope you know this." she shrugged nodding her head, bumping her shoulder against yours. "oh, and i almost forgot," she slowly turns back to look at you. "if you think you can get riki with those silly, dumb letters, i am afraid that... you might lose him for someone else..." flying you a playful kiss and realising you were in the brim of crying, she laughs out loud, walking away.

and you? you stay, standing there like an dumped idiot. feeling a sense of loneliness and humiliation, your feet felt numb and you fell onto the ground, weak and helpless.

you wanted riki to like you. you really wanted to. however, you knew you were and would never be in his league, that's why you preferred seeing him smile, even though it wasn't at or for you. ━ or, because of you.

your head hurts, sending you a signal of stress. your eyes were completely blinded by the sight of crystal clear hurtful tears, filled with nothing else but embarrassment.

"OH MY GOD! ANOTHER GUM!" you scrunch your nose while cleaning up a desk. "i guess that was mine," a deep voice echoed throughout the empty classroom and your heart dropped. you turned your head back, surprised and nervous. "oh..." "just kidding." riki chuckles, walking in. "will i disturb you if i sit here?" he asks you while sitting down on the chair you always sat on.

you smirk a little, but turn you head as it grew to a big grin. "no..." you murmur, using a wet cloth to wipe some notes written down on the desk. "great," riki sighs while watching you clean the classroom. "need a hand?" you pondered for a second. "sure..." you reply. in a abrupt act, you hear the sound of his wrinkled white school shirt while he stood up, and suddenly he was standing right beside you.

"what can i do to help you then?" "um..." you blink a few times taking a small step back. "you can get that extra cloth and, um... wipe the black board for me?" "yeah," your crush smiles at you, making your heart melt.

a few seconds surviving under a uncomfortable silence, riki speaks up: "where do you live?" ━ don't mess it up this time! "uh... i live close to that supermarket," "which one?" "i think its name is... fresh basket." "really?!" "yeah..." "i live on the street behind fresh basket!" you gasp, turning to look at him dumbfounded. "are you kidding me? how come i haven't seen you anywhere?" you watch him shrug while pouting his lips.

"by the way," he clears his throat, leading his way to sit on the teacher's chair. "are you and yoko in... good terms now?" you notice the hesitance creeping his tone. you sigh and sensing a hint that that wasn't the case, riki adds: "i guess not..."

"do you like her?" you went straight to the point. "what?" "i mean, i don't want to sound invasive but... i am curious," you lean back on one of the desks. "do you like, yoko?" "why?" "i don't know," shrugging, you pick up the mop to clean the floor. "i just think she is your type so... yeah." "fair enough, but, uh..." riki sounded thoughtful, replying: "isn't she like a mean girl or something?" "what do you think?" you ironically answer. "i guess that was an yes, i'll take that, um," he hums, still thinking. "i mean, i don't know where you heard she was my type, so, no, i don't like her." "why do you walk with her then?" ━ rude, y/n!

riki chuckles before sighing. "i am sensing some jealousy, huh?" "what?" you stopped mopping. "why? did i catch you up on a jealousy attack?" he stands up from the chair he was sat on and leans his face closer to yours, analysing you. "you're cute," he giggles, turning his back at you, walking back to the teacher's seat. "you're so cute, y/n, maybe i should start walking with you instead." your crush teases.

"oh, answering your cute jealous question i just walk with that petty bitch because heeseung wants to give her some kisses," he playfully pouts, mocking a peck. "that's all." "heeseung likes her?" "like her? nah, he just wants to get his dick wet," you hum, understanding the situation.

"can i get your number?" "huh?!" you gasp, making riki laugh. "your number!" he displays his hand holding his his phone. "come here, type it," curling his finger while calling you felt intimidating, so you walked up to him and took his phone, finishing mopping and leaving the cleaning tool away; typing your number. "should i save your contact with a heart?" he drops his head to the side, playing with your innocence. "if you want to," you shrug, turning your back at him in a nonchalant act ━ like you weren't dying inside.

"i just sent you an emoji, save my contact, please~" his tone sounded playfully cute. "you want to walk home together since it's late?" you blushed with the thought of walking home side by side with your crush. "uh, sure!" "good."

"HERE YOU GO, YOUR DELICIOUS ice cream," riki hands you an ice cream he insisted buying you since he was used doing it after school. "thank you." "no problem." for the first time a comfortable silence was established, but it didn't last for long since riki started talking.

"you wanna know something stupid i heard a while ago?" "mhm?" "sunghoon told me that, a friend of his, right," you nodded, drawing your attention from your ice cream to riki. "told him that when someone wants to try a drink or whatever once you had already put your mouth in it, it's an indirect kiss," riki chuckles, making you laugh. "stupid, right?" "i mean," you thought for a bit. "i guess it makes sense but... i dunno." you shrug, laughing with your crush for the first time.

"do you live with your mum?" you ask riki. "yeah, my mum, my dad and my two sisters ━ konon and misola." "konon? i heard about her! isn't she the girl who won that talent show a few years ago?" "mhm-hm." he confirms, leading you to complete surprise. "i didn't know, i think talent runs in your bloodline, huh?" you joke. "what do you mean?" "you dance, right?" "how did you know?" he stops with his eyes widen, taking a few steps back from shock. "uh... i thought everyone at school knew...?" his face expression has a sudden change: a big smile that wrinkles his eyes, "i'm just playing with you, everyone knows, you're good."

ARRIVING AT YOUR HOUSE ENTRANCE, no more ice cream and no more subjects to discuss at the moment, riki sighs, stopping in front of your house with his hands inside his pockets. "so... what do you say?" "what do you mean?" you frown. "would you like to walk with us?" your crush looks deeply into your eyes across the classroom. "i don't want you to feel like you have to do this ━ just because-" "hey, i'ts fine," he shakes his head, reassuring you. "the boys won't mind! come on!" "uh, i-i-i think i'll get sick tomorrow!"

"ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS, Y/N? 'i think i'll get sick tomorrow!' ━ YOU DUMBASS! the boy you like asks you if you want to stay with him and his friends and you reply 'i think i'll get sick blah, blah, blah [...]" your sister complains after eating a spoonful of an old ice cream she had in the freezer. "i-i got nervous!" you defend yourself. "y/n... i fear something..." "what do you mean?" your eyes widened a little bit, confused and curious. "i-i fear i am... NOT your sister because i wouldn't be this stupid!" your sister almost spits on your face, standing up from the sofa and walking up to the kitchen.

"what do you mean~?!" you whine. "now i am feeling regret!" "as you should." she looks dead at your eyes, going back to the comfort of the sofa. "but-" "y/n, sit down," you hesitantly sit down beside your sister. "first of all, you shouldn't be whining and crying for me when you could be, at the very least, holding hands with riki next week," she sighs. "second of all, you said you gave him your number, go for it! text him!" she speaks like its obvious. "it's not that easy... "bitch, yoko made it because she is shameless, and you should be too! in a good way ━ of course."

"WHAT SHOULD I TEXT HIM?" you ask your sister. "i think a cake recipe won't be a good idea., y/n," she sarcastically says, shrugging. "what should i text him then?" she snuggles closer to you on your bed. "do you really want to send your crush a cake recipe?" "no!" "exactly, just send an: 'hey', nice and simple." "a 'heeey' or just 'hey'?" "at this point this word already lost its meaning, just send a 'hey', y/n!" she starts to get impatient. "okay, okay!" your sister watches you type something with a certain hesitance, and in a fast move she grabs your phone, stands up from your bed and texts riki.

"HEY!" you stand up, trying to get your phone back. "wow, i sent just that!" she hands you your phone back. "and a few more thin-" "HEY, HOW ARE YOU, HANDSOME?!" "i don't remember sending that..." you throw your phone on your bed and screams with anger, picking up your pillow and forcing your sister's face against it. "Y/N, IT WAS JUST A SILLY TEXT!" "YOU ARE DEAD, Y/S/N!" "Y/N-" ting ━ new notification rings.

"if that's riki, you're dead, y/s/n," you read his text, which were saying: "hey, i'm fine, how about you, cutie?" both of you started screaming as your nosy sister read his text with you. "OH MY GOD! THIS IS CRAZY!" "I KNOW! GRANDMA IS GOING TO WAKE UP WITH OUR SCREAMS!" "I KNOW, I AM SCARED ━ HOW SHOULD I REPLY HIM?" "ASK FOR NUDES!" "OKA- WHAT?!"

THE NEXT DAY YOU WOKE up late. any guesses? you got a little bit carried away while chatting with riki, leading you to a two hour sleep. you were quickly applying some sun screen when you heard something hitting your window.

at first, you ignored, too busy and late to deal with some random noise. but when it repeated, you got a little confused, ignoring the time just to open it, encountering the black haired japanese boy waving at you while smiling ━ your crush.

"what are you doing?!" you frown. "let's go to school, the last bus is almost arriving!" you gasped, spraying some perfumes and leaving without even closing your window. you sprinted to the door, getting your backpack and getting your shoes on in a very clumsy way, making your sister worry. "are you okay?" your sister asks you when she hears the front door opening. you laugh at her outfit before replying ━ her wet hair tied up in a towel, wearing a hot pink robe matching with her neon top and zebra print leggings. "you look amazing and yes i am okay, i am heading out right now." "alright, take ca- OH MY GOD, RIKI IS OUTSI-"

"hi-" "who was that crazy woman who just screamed my name?" you two began to walk side by side to the bus stop. "my sister..." you replied, kind of embarrassed. "she is so cool, does she live with you and your mum?" "she does but i don't live with my mum." "oh? yeah?" sensing your sensitive tone, he doesn't ask much about it. "yeah, i live with my grandma though." "so, you, your sister and your granny?" "mhm-hm." "your family feels welcoming," riki comments, making you smile and blush with the subtle compliment.

"are you hungry?" he asks. "kind of, why?" "here," he takes something out of his pocket and hands to you. "my mum made this biscuits," you took the sugary biscuits. "really?" he hums, confirming, adding: "once i commented about you, she freaked out ━ in a good way, saying she should make something for you." you giggled before replying. "thank her for me," you smile. "she'll be even happier if you ate them..." he hums and you take his sign, unlacing the little bow sealing the small plastic bag holding those sugary godness. "oh my god... it tastes so good, it's delicious!" your eyes widened. "i know." riki playfully brags, bumping his shoulder with yours while smiling.

arriving at the bus stop, you and riki quickly got inside the bus; and since both of you were late, riki's friend weren't there.

riki had to occupy the seat in front of you since both seats beside the window were occupied by two random strangers. thankfully, your relationship with your crush become comfortable overnight, leading to a certain intimacy. with that being said, riki was quick to sit and turn to look at you. but not just turning his head, but his whole body ━ his knees supported by the seat while both of his arms were crossed, laying on the upper part of it. and, of course, his face was just smiling at you. that youthful feeling of a first love began to creepy the corner of your lips, leading to a small grin and a flustered face.

"why? did i make you shy?" he asks. "you're embarrassing me!" you whisper-yell, discreetly nodding at the two strangers ━ giving both of you a confused, amused, yet, dirty look. "sit down!" "why~?" he whines, but you manage to make him seat ━ earning a pouty riki for the rest of the ride.

DURING THE RIDE YOU REMEMBERED last night, while talking with your crush on the phone, you wrote a letter to send him. this time, you were talking about the sound of his voice and how kind you thought he were, trying your best to not give him the hint it was completely and definitely you. because, even though riki seemed the popular, desired, careless japanese boy from school, you knew he is and was intelligent. wise enough to quickly find out about you in a blink of an eye.

"hey, wanna stop writing a little and grab lunch with us?" you stop writing something down on your notebook to look up at the familiar deep voice calling you. "um... maybe later, i'll finish this real quick and i'll catch up with you-" "ey~, come on... uh..." the aussie boy standing beside riki starts speaking, but suddenly stops. however, his friend saves him by whispering something in his ear. "y/n! yeah, come on, y/n! come with us!" you blink a few times, an awkward and painful silence creeping you and the four boys in front of you.

your crush coughs before breaking the awkwardness: "let's go, y/n, otherwise you'll miss lunch like you always do." "how did you...?" you question him and yourself, trying to find how he discovered that. he pulls you from your seat by your hand in a gentle way, placing his arm across your shoulders, attempting to make you more comfortable; and less of a burden ━ since you showed signs of being a over thinker.

"you have a beautiful handwriting i might say," riki comments and you look back, checking if the other boys were there. "oh, thanks." you innocently thank him, smiling. you notice how your crush's smile looked so big and mischievous, mysteriously hiding something. "what?" "mhm? what's what?" "whats up with that grin?" his face shuts. "uh, what grin?" in a cartoonish way, he frowns, mocking an angry face. "weren't going to get sick today?" "stop making fun of me!" you turn your face to avoid his, acting like a child. you pouted while listening to his laughter.

AFTER SITTING DOWN ON A table with riki's friend group, everyone was silent, and riki, noticing your shyness, he nudges heeseung so he can say something to break the ice ━ in which he whispered an: "i gotchu". "soooo... you are close to yoko, y/n...?" "oh my god..." the japanese boy covers his face, taking a deep breath. "what?! i'm just asking my friend something over here!" his friend argues. "sooo?" "um..." "'y/n," riki speaks up. "you don't need to answer this little bitch" he gives heeseung a dirty look. "━ he's being inconvenient right no-"

"no, it's okay, 'ki," you waved your hand. "he didn't know," heeseung glanced at his friend with widened eyes, bumping his shoulder against his, like he just said: "told you so!" "me and yoko we are close" the boy's eyes almost fell off of his face this time. "but" his happy expression dropped. "not in a good way..." you explain. "not in a good way?" he cocks a brow. "yeah..." "how come?" "i-"

"riki~!" that annoying, feminine, high pitched voice echoed all across the lunch room, walking closer to the table and standing behind riki ━ one of her hand placed on her hip. "oh... yoko..." riki's, sunghoon's and jaeyun's face dropped, except fro heeseung. "hi, heeseung!" she waved just her fingers at him in a flirtatious way. "and- oh? y/n?" yoko cocked a brow at the sight of you sitting across the four handsome boys. "what are you doing here?" "she-" "shush, jaeyun! i am asking her!" jaeyun scoffs at her rudeness. "i thought you guys weren't into that charity thing, but... seems pity wins sometimes,"

"stop, yoko." riki pissed off voice spoke up, looking at her with indifference. "what? can't a pretty girl say an ugly truth?" she shrugged and hearing her say that made you feel small. riki sighed before standing up from his seat and picking up your hand. "let's get out of here," the boys were just about to stand up and follow both of you, but riki gently stopped them. "just me and you." he murmured, noticing your vulnerability increasing.

all of the sudden, when you were just about to walk away with riki, yoko began to clap her hands ━ loudly ━ and laugh like she just watched an comedy movie. "don't make me laugh, riki!" yoko's eyes were burning the japanese's boy eyes. she took a step closer to him and whispered for the two of you to hear: "is she my replacement?" she laughed out loud again and at that point, everyone present in the room had their eyes on the three of you, internally fighting. yoko turned, taking a few step forward before dropping her head down ;and turn back with her head cocked to the side. "let's just-" riki tries to speak, but gets interrupted by you ━ pulling his hand to stay.

"i am sorry, y/n," she speaks seriously. "i am sorry, riki; and i am sorry to everyone in this room, but," in a creepy, yet, discreet way he picks up a pen she always kept on the little pocket sewn on her shirt. "there is no room for a replacement here." out of nowhere she screams and starts to chase both of you with a pen but yoko was quickly stopped by jaeyun and sunghoon, while heeseung went to call someone to calm her down.

meanwhile, you and riki ran to the terrace: not just because of yoko but to relax together. "SHIT, Y/N, WHY DID YOU HELD US THERE?!" your crush snaps at you once both of you reached the parapet and took a deep breath. "i-i... we would be fine! it was just a pen-" "JUST A PEN?!" he scoffs. "that shit can kill you if it hits a fucking vital point!" you sigh, way too overwhelmed to deal with his shouting and complains.

"yoko is crazy, you should've known better than anyone!" "i'm sorry..." you murmur, avoiding his angry glance at you. "that shit scared the fuck out of me!" "sorry... i am sorry! sorry!" you snap, falling onto the harsh ground made of hard concrete. noticing your sudden change, riki immediately falls onto the ground with you.

"oh shit, i'm sorry... sorry, y/n, i-i" he exhales. "i got nervous that's all-" "DO YOU THINK I DIDN'T GET NERVOUS TOO?!" you yell, frustrated. "no one has ever understood me! never..." your voice weakens and riki felt guilt flooding his heart. regret hitting his chest a billion times non-stop. "i am sorry. fuck, i'm sorry i hurt you..." "why does people apologise without meaning it?" you glance at him with an exasperated frown. "i mean it! i am not 'people'," he says. "trust me, y/n, i am truly sorry." he emphasises. "fuck it, i can't handle seeing you cry, come here," he embraces you and pulls you closer ━ your face snuggled onto his chest while your body remains half laid.

he holds your face with care and rubs his thumb against your shaky shoulder from small sobs. you start to wonder why he is being so gentle with you. like, one day he didn't even know you existed or looked in your eyes, and in the next day he is reciprocating.

noticing your silence, riki questions: "over thinking?" his voice hit you all of a sudden, making you slightly jump. "no, just-" you sigh. "yeah... how did you know...?" you let out a small chuckle. "you stop blinking when you start your trance." riki pinches your nose and you scrunch it, rejecting his action.

"what were you thinking about?" "mhm... us." "us?" "yes, us," "and 'us' is good or bad?" you feel his long fingered hands play with your hair. "i am not sure..." you pout. "wanna share?" "it's just that-" you kiss your teeth and fidgets with your fingers, conflicting with your own thoughts. "why are you being so gentle with me, riki?" you adjust your posture and look up at him. "all of the sudden?" "i mean," you sit up, interrupting your hair from being caressed. "you were the one treating me some type of way all of the sudden." you argue.

riki thinks and then shrugs. "i am not sure what this is supposed to me-" "what i mean is that: one day you don't even look at me and the other day we are literally cuddling on the ground!" riki and you became silent.

"i have never ignored you if that's what you mean," "eh?" you frown, scoffing as you were mocking his lie. "you're funny, riki; very funny..." you roll your eyes, avoiding his eyes. the japanese boy sits closer to you, pulling your face to meet your eyes with his. "first of all," he looks away from you after making sure you were paying attention to him. "i have looked at you a few- no, lots of times, but, you were too busy taking notes on that stupid notebook of yours." he chuckles. "also, i haven't seen you at parties so it was difficult to talk to you,"

"you could've just talk to me at class..." you murmur. "i tried! but every single time i tried to develop a deep conversation with you, you were always giving me short and dry answers! i thought you didn't like me!" "who said i like you?!" "do you hate me?" you hummed, like you were thinking about it, clearly teasing him. "you do?!" he made an angry face, speaking between clutched teeth. "okay, okay! yeah- i mean, no!" "you!" you stood up and began to run from riki while he chased you across the whole terrace.

"my ankle hurt, wait!" he complains, whining while holding his ankle. you stop for a second to look back at him, however, knowing his playful personality, you didn't believe him. "stop being a cry baby!" noticing he wasn't laughing a little bit but moaning in pain instead, you walk closer to him. "are you really hurt...?" "it really hurts..." when you were just about to gently place your hand on his shoulder, your action was interrupted by his hand holding yours. "just kidding!" and he holds you into a tight embrace. "let me go!" "lemme see... no, i won't!" "let me-"

"what is that?" you frown, confused. "mhm? what?" you began to look around, trying to find something. "that," he nods at the ground once you glanced back at him. your letter. the letter you wrote earlier on the ground in front of your crush, quite literally revealing it was you; who wrote those previous letters. you sigh trying to get an excuse. "what? a piece of paper?" "isn't that fancy envelope i saw that day?" he reefers to that day in which you bumped onto him. "uh... i don't think so..." you shrug, trying to act nonchalant.

riki free you just to pick up the letter from the ground, ignoring your reply. "strange, isn't it like these envelopes are seeking us?" he drops his head to the side, holding the letter. "should i open it?" your eyes widen discreetly. "no!" noticing your exaltation, riki frowns. "why is that?" "because... because what if it is something important?! like a secret or a..." you try to think, tensing your shoulders as you did so. "love letter...?" you shrug, relaxing your shoulders once riki's chuckle reaches your earbuds.

"so... i can't read it then because it can be an love letter?" your crush raises his brows. "um... yeah?" you shrug once again, trying to convince him to leave it alone. "okay," he pouts his lips, handing you the letter. "so, i won't read it," he surrenders himself, but then crosses his arms like an bad boy. "but you will; read it for me." riki sits on the ground, his eyes not leaving you. "we should get back to-" "no, you'll read it for me," he keeps a dead serious face. "now."

he notices how nervous you were looking. the way your fingers were clutching to the paper, slightly crumpling the harsh paper used to craft that beautiful envelope. "y/n," riki's voice wakes you up from your trance. "read it, please?" he kindly asks you this time, making you feel less intimidated. "o-okay..." you peel the small piece of tape you have glued just yesterday, hoping it was your crush ━ poor past y/n. and then, you open the letter and slips the letter out of the envelope, resting the letter above it. you unfold the folded paper and cleans your throat before reading it.

you did a quick read to the letter and remembered that you have mentioned his name many times, so you had to make up something up before reading the first paragraph.

❝ 𝒟ear, Mr. Kim,

I love your laugh. It's like music that heals the soul and guides me to you. I love how kind and playful you can be, it makes me wonder if I will ever be able to make you as happy as you make me. I know I will never be enough, so just read my words of love. I don't need your touch if it's not well deserved ━ ironic for wanting you completely. I like to use poetry as my main source of writing, because I know you don't understand much about literature ━ much less understand my feelings. Not because they are complex, but because they are too distant to ever be discovered by you. All of this may sound painful, and no matter how painful it is, I will be able to survive as long as I can see your smile.

The thought of having you in my life feels so right, like heaven and angels. But, when I remember of my surroundings and situation, feels like dreams not yet dreamed of, printed poetry, handwritten newspapers, silent parrots and talkative owners ━ in other words: one in a billion chance to be compatible.

However, remember me. Don't ever leave me. You don't have me, but it doesn't mean I can't have you, right?

𝒜nonimously in love with you.❞

"wow..." riki began to clap with star eyes looking at you. "so what you just read is a love letter to our... gym teacher?!" he stands up to analyse the letter, but you quickly avoid him from seeing his name written. "hey! i told you you can't read it!" "okay, okay..." he sighs. "do you really want to go back to class?" "i guess," you shrug, keeping the letter inside the pocket of your wool jacket. "wait! no, we won't! look at the sunset!"

"WHERE WERE YOU GUYS?! KISSING?" heeseung asks and sunghoon bumps his shoulders against his, disapproving his question. "yeah, we were," riki says. "wait, WHAT?!" sunghoon suddenly shouts. "yeah, WHAT?!" jaeyun is the next one to shout. "i told you two!" heeseung mock his friends dropped jaw. "give me my $50's, jaeyun!"

"you and jaeyun seriously made a deal if we had kissed?" "of course!" heeseung replied as it was obvious, taking the $50 from jaeyun's hand. "okay, heeseung give it back to him, no lips were touched," riki shakes his head. "HA!" sunghoon mocks his friends with a loud chuckle, making you giggle. "aw man... i just wanted $50 dollars..." "no money for you, idiot!"

A FEW WEEKS HAVE PASSED by. you and riki became even closer and you might admit you fell even more in love with him. if you had a crush on him back then, now you have a whole fantasy of your future with him. talking about relationships, by getting closer to your secret lover, you also got closer to his friends. if you think this doesn't means shit, oh, it does! after heeseung learned about yoko's shitty personality, he dumped her immediately, feeling an extreme sense of empathy for you ━ not in a romantic way.

also, thankfully, somehow, that day yoko freaked out chasing you and riki with a pen was recorded and leaked. with that being said, she probably got embarrassed and wasn't attending school anymore. another important information is that, by getting closer to your crush, you also got closer to his friends. if you think this doesn't means shit, oh, it does! after heeseung learned about yoko's shitty personality, he dumped her immediately, feeling an extreme sense of empathy for you ━ not in a romantic way.

now, you were at your room texting riki about what you had just ate as a midnight snack. then, you sat on your desk to get some work done for the next week. however, a hard object hit your window and your heart was saying something like: it's riki, it's riki, it's riki; but your mind was saying something like: it's nothing, it's nothing, it's nothing.

however, when the object hit your window again, so you opened the curtains and then your window, now confirming: it is definitely riki. "why didn't you answered me right away?" you sighed. "ki, it's literally 3 am in a saturday! and i am a woman, i can't just open my window in the middle of the night." "fair enough," he shrugs, agreeing.

when riki was just about to shout again, you stopped him, gesturing a stop sign with your hand, making him wait. you picked your phone up and pointed to it, mouthing: phone! text! ━ in which he nodded, gesturing an 'okay' with his fingers and then picking up his phone.

he texted: 'wanna sneak out?' ━ you shook your head in response, looking at him from your window. he snorted, frustrated. and then nodded to you ━ your phone. 'can i come in, then? i want to see you...' ━ returning your sight to the japanese pouty boy. you sighed, biting onto your bottom lip before nodding and closing your window.

you were just about to open your front door when another text from riki popped: 'why did you close the window? let me in! i am prepared!!!!!' ━ riki, you-

you sprinted to your bedroom and opened your window, leaving your door opened, worried. he knocked on the glass a few times after seeing you, patiently waiting while holding onto a random ladder. "did you really just brought a whole fucking ladder?" you question him with shock. "of course not," he scoffs like it was obvious. "so... whose ladder is that?" you squint your eyes. "neighbour." "riki!"

"whaaat now?" he whines, laying on your bed, occupying the whole bed. "you and your huge ass body just occupying my whole fucking bed, scooch over!" he groans before rolling onto the other side. "you're annoying..." he murmurs with a muffled voice. "but you love me," "but i love you, you're right," he lays on his back, glancing at you. "that's why you are annoying~" he whines, rolling onto his side, pulling you closer to him by your waist.

"y/n are you awa-AAAAH! WHAT THE FUCK IS HE DOING HERE?!" your sister walks in your room while riki tried to pull you closer to you, attempting to cuddle with you. "AND WHY-" she closes her eyes shut, trying to wake up from that fever dream.

you stand up from the bed and takes her hand, pulling her to talk outside of your room. you close the door behind you while your sister's eyes stayed shut. "tell me, god, am i dreaming? what the fuck did i just saw?" you sigh, squinting your eyes at your sister's childish like behaviour.

"open your fucking eyes, y/s/n," "is this the devil? is this god? i don't even know anymore! i'm going crazy..." "open your eyes!" you whispered-yell, trying to avoid waking up your grandma ━ even though she is a deep sleeper. "okay, sorry," she finally opens her eyes and stays quiet.

"what were you going to ask me?" "so we are going to ignore what just happened? what i just walked in?" "why do you got to be so nosy?" you ask her and she looked at you, offended. "why? you're pissed off because i happened to walk in while you were trying to kiss the love of your li-" "SHUT!" you cover her mouth. "he's going to hear!"

she is strong enough to take your hand off her mouth, whispering: "i'll leave you alone with him." she smirks and then winks at you, going back to her room. you rolled your eyes once she reached the door of her bedroom and sent you a flying kiss, mouthing: "use protection!"

you went back to your room and closed the door, locking it. you slowly turned around, embarrassed. "good job, y/n! forgetting about the first rule of the hundred of 'sneaking in' rules! 'inside version' because you live here, so-" "shut up," you sigh, laying on bed with him. "yes, ma'am." a minute of silence formed, but riki quickly broke it. "can we cuddle now? i am dying to- uh... cuddle, yeah..." you strange his behaviour but, obviously, agrees.

enjoying being the little spoon, you remained completely silent, loving the way his wide arms were around you and his hands rubbing your back. the warmth exhaling from his covered chest felt like you had the world keeping you close.

"y/n?" his voice echoes and you hum. "mhm?" "do you like... writing letters?"

© 𝓪𝐦𝐞𝐥𝐢𝓮, 𝗺𝗹𝘆𝘀𝗰𝗵𝗮 𝗌𝓽𝓾𝖽𝗂𝗈𝓼. ⋆

[bangtanficsforyou]

They Reject You (maknae line)-03

Pairing: maknae line x reader (fuckboi! Jimin x Reader, Co-worker Taehyung x Reader, Idol Jungkook x Reader)

Warnings: swear words here and there.

Word count: 20K (approx)

A/N: long long long asf! (There's author's note at the bottom too).

Park Jimin

Jimin may have been very determined while pledging that he will make things right but right now, he's utterly confused and clueless. 

How exactly does he make things right?

If he were to go by the way movies suggest, he should be sending you chocolates and bouquets of flowers. But the question is, will that do? Will that be enough? Can hurting someone emotionally be fixed by something material?

He doesn't know.

Oh, that's another thing. In recent days, Jimin's mind has been throwing questions at him which he has no answers to. Which, needless to mention, has been frustrating him to no end.

He feels like there's a lot he needs to figure out before taking any action. Because lord knows he doesn't want to mess up again and given his history he has a habit of doing exactly that over and over again. 

The question that has been bugging him the most is; why does he even want to fix things with you? 

It's a question Jimin wholeheartedly avoids thinking about. Because he doesn't have an answer and thinking about this particular question makes him feel a little too uncomfortable.

However, to him, the question also feels like a big empty blank that he needs to fill in order to make sense of what he should do next. Almost as if, if he figures out this one thing, he will have all his answers. 

Which again, doesn't make sense to him. How can figuring out one thing give answers to the rest? But again, he should begin somewhere. Which obviously isn't going to be answering the big question.

Hence he does what he has been doing for the past few days; searching for ways to apologise on YouTube.

It's quite obvious that his YouTube searches haven't been very successful. But in his defence, it isn't Jimin's fault. It's YouTube's.

Almost every video that YouTube suggests as a response to his search, has this implication that the girl being apologised to, is the lover of the person seeking forgiveness.  

Huh? 

But that's so not the case. You're not his lover.

At some point, Jimin got so frustrated that he went on a mini rant to Taehyung, about how this is the 21st century and how a boy and girl need not always have a romantic relationship. And it's while he's ranting via text that he is hit by the brilliant idea of inviting Taehyung over. After all, if there's someone who's better than Jimin when it comes to the ladies, it's Taehyung. 

Half an hour later, Jimin couldn't rush to the door any faster when the bell rang. 

Taehyung greets the troubled boy with a scoff of disbelief. "Never seen you this excited over my arrival, ever."

Jimin is the least bit interested in paying attention to his best friend's teasing. "You gotta help me. It's already been three days and I haven't been able to figure anything out."

"It's about making up to that girl, right?" On receiving a nod from Jimin, Taehyung continues, "What was her name again?"

"Y/N."

"Right, Y/N," Taehyung makes a note to himself, having a hunch it's a name he will hear quite often. "So where exactly are you stuck?" 

Jimin leads his friend to the couch so that Taehyung can have a look at the screen. "Just look at the results. There are literally thousands of responses but not one that's of use. What's the point of having internet if it can't help you when you need?!"

Taehyung snickers. "Yeah, you did go on a half an hour rant about it via text."

Jimin huffs at the way Taehyung seems to not share the same level of frustration as him. But alas, maybe him being in a light mood is a good thing after all. That way Taehyung can think optimally and come up with a solution and then Jimin can finally have a good night's sleep. 

Gosh when Jimin thinks about it, it sends shivers down his spine. He really needs to sleep. 

"Great! You know all about it, so now get on with it," Jimin speaks with a firm nod of determination and turns his body ninety degrees so that he is entirely facing Taehyung. 

And then just keeps staring. 

Taehyung stares back for a second or two and then bursts out laughing. He laughs so hard, that his ears miss the questions Jimin throws his way, querying about the cause of his laughter. He laughs so hard, that he has to place a pillow against his stomach because it has started hurting. He laughs so hard that it takes him a total of five minutes to stop. 

When he does stop laughing, he utters a sentence that sends Jimin into a similar laughter fit. 

"You're so in love."

Or maybe wait. 

Jimin doesn't laugh. 

Jimin blinks at Taehyung blankly and then scoffs in annoyance. Taehyung can't be serious. "I can't believe you're in the mood of making jokes when I'm so stressed."

"Oh, I can assure you, I'm not joking," Taehyung shakes his head with a chuckle, denying Jimin's words. "You're definitely in love."

Jimin pauses. He doesn't like how sure Taehyung seems to be of his words. It makes Jimin realise that Taehyung isn't joking. Taehyung really thinks Jimin is in love. 

Huh. 

"Don't you think I'd know if I was in love?" 

Taehyung snorts. "Clearly not."

Now Jimin's curious. "What makes you so sure of your words?"

"Hmm, let's think for a moment," Taehyung responds, pretending to think deeply for a moment. "You have been worried sick, haven't been behaving like yourself and are throwing tantrums like a five-year-old kid. All because a girl hasn't been talking to you–"

"That could simply mean she's a very good friend to me," Jimin counters even before Taehyung can finish his sentence. 

"Well, you don't kiss your friends while drunk." 

Jimin shuts up at that, not because he agrees with Taehyung's statement but because he needs a moment to figure out what to reply to that. He needs to think of something that is a justifiable reason for why he had kissed you in his drunken state of mind. 

Unfortunately, the best he comes up with is; "I didn't know what I was doing. I was drunk. Plus, me kissing someone shouldn't be news, drunk or not." 

Taehyung nods. "Right, that's your thing. Kissing and sleeping around."

For the first time in his life, Jimin feels an odd sensation in his chest at the mention of his player lifestyle. He can't place why (another thing he can't figure out, yes) but for the first time he wishes these words were not used to describe him. But admittedly, that's who he is. It's only normal to describe him by who he is. 

Jimin keeps quiet as a sign of letting Taehyung know that he can go on. 

"But surprisingly enough, since Y/N has stopped talking to you, you haven't fooled around with anyone," Taehyung squints his eyes, looking like a detective who's trying to solve a complicated riddle. "Wonder why that might be." 

Jimin misses the sarcastic tone completely because he's taken aback by his friend's words. It's only now that he realises that he indeed, has not fooled around with anyone in the last week or so. 

It's true that he has been going to parties and have been getting drunk and have been doing what he usually does. Except for one thing, it seems. Hooking up. 

Oddly enough, the thought of hooking up with someone didn't even occur to him. It's not like he restrained himself or something. It's like he forgot that aspect of his life, entirely. 

What the fuck.

Taehyung silently watches the realisation play out on Jimin's face. It's entertaining, to say the least. His sweet fuckboy of a friend is in love and has zero clue about it. How sweet. 

He only hopes Jimin comes to his senses while this denial is still sweet and not when it's all bitter and sour. But looking at the way Jimin is struggling, one thing is for sure and that is, he isn't going to get his 'happy realisation' just yet. 

"Your bulb will take time to light up," Taehyung interrupts Jimin's thoughts, "Let me just help you with the apologising thing."

---------------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has been standing in front of your door for five minutes now. With a huge flower bouquet at that. Because according to Taehyung:

"It's not what you give that matters, it's the thought you put into it. It could be flowers, it could be chocolates–yes I know, at the end of the day they are mere materials. But what's wrong with that?

You've gotta start somewhere. What's important is that you show her that you have realised your mistake, you're sorry and that you'd never do something like that ever again. Sending gifts is not all. It might not earn you her forgiveness but it shows that you're trying and that's something." 

Hence, despite not considering sending gifts as an option at first, here Jimin is, doing exactly that. But then it's not like he could come up with a better idea himself and he thinks Taehyung is right, he should at least start somewhere. 

But he wanted to make it as meaningful as he could. Which is why he did a little research and showed up here himself. He needs to do just one last thing, press the calling bell. 

He sighs and tells himself that there's no point in delaying it, the sooner he does it, the better. Plus, it only means that he will be able to see you after another three-day stretch. 

The thought of seeing you again, does it for him. He presses the bell and with a bated breath, waits for you to open the door. 

Thankfully, he doesn't have to wait long. You swing the door open and Jimin is relieved that your reaction on seeing him is that of surprise and not that of disdain. He would have run in the opposite direction and would have been too ashamed to face you had that been the case. 

Despite not running away, Jimin seems to have lost his capability to talk, for all he does is stare at your face. It gets to the point where you have to be the one to ask him what he's doing at your doorstep. 

Jimin looks away as soon as he snaps out of it and remembers what he's here for. He still doesn't speak and just pushes the bouquet in his hands towards you and urges you to take it. 

It's not like you hadn't noticed the bouquet, it's unmissable really. It's this big, gorgeous arrangement of pink roses and the lighting of the hallway falls on the flowers in a way that makes it look like a portrait. When Jimin tries handing over the bouquet to you, you're once again taken by surprise and out of instinct you take hold of the bouquet without a second thought. 

The moment Jimin knows that you have the bouquet, he takes a few steps back, bows to you and takes off. 

Well, guess he did run away, after all. 

You don't even get the time to question him as to why the sudden flowers as you stand there for a moment until you're sure that Jimin isn't coming back. With a confused sigh, you head back into your apartment. 

"I should put them in water," you mumble to yourself and rest the bouquet on your centre table. 

However, it's at this very moment that your eyes land on a piece of paper that seems to have been folded with great care and has been kept in such a way that it isn't visible from the front but only from the top. 

With a small frown of curiosity, you take the paper out with your fingers. On unfolding, you find a small printed note on the left side and a handwritten note on the right. 

The left side of the note read: "Pink roses signify gratitude, admiration and appreciation." 

The right side of the note read: "You're not the stupid one, I am."

There's a brief moment where you are clueless and you have to think as to what Jimin could possibly mean. However, it doesn't take long for you to figure it out as you're hit with the memory of letting Jimin know how he has made you feel for a very, very long time. 

One particular line sticks out and you have a hunch that his note refers to that.

"I felt so stupid to be hanging out with you when you couldn’t even pause and give me the minimum respect I deserve.”

Huh. 

Is...Is Jimin apologising? 

No way. 

After that day you had thought Jimin would either just stop talking to you or would just show up a few days later as if nothing ever happened. Never had you considered that he would choose to apologise. But apparently, that's exactly what he has decided on. 

Wow. This is way more surprising than the sun rising in the west. 

You do not doubt that he must have taken the help of some of his friends but that's only fair. You can imagine how hard it must be for someone like Jimin to apologise to someone. 

You shake your head in amusement and bring a vase filled with water to place the flowers in. 

Honestly, you hadn't thought much about Jimin since that day. The way you felt lighter after saying what you had wanted to for a long time, was incredibly freeing. You were also proud of yourself for finally standing up and for sticking to your decision to cut him off. It made you wish you had done it sooner. 

But now that Jimin is apologising, in his own way, you are a tad bit surprised that it doesn't throw you into a mental debate. That you don't have to battle yourself on what to do. 

Things are pretty clear in your head. 

You forgive Jimin. 

You had forgiven him long before he even sent you the flowers. With your bottled-up emotions out of the way, it gave you the clarity you needed to see things for how they were. 

You had always had a weak spot for Jimin. Jimin, not so much. You were just another girl to him. But the thing with having weak spots is that they make you vulnerable. 

But Jimin is Jimin. He has no clue about these kind of things. Does he? For you, to expect Jimin to understand the sensitivity of the matter, was basically setting yourself up for disappointment from the get-go. 

It's the same as looking for a mango in a banyan tree. It's fruitless. 

That does not mean, that you blame yourself. When emotions that are beyond your control, get involved, the practical mind is forced to take a back seat. Romantic affection is for sure one such feeling where one tends to lose their thinking and decision-making capabilities. 

You forgive Jimin. You also forgive yourself. 

Does that mean you'd be okay with being friends with Jimin, again? No, you cannot bring yourself to do that. 

The trust and faith you had put in him has been broken and that's enough of a reason for you to move on. 

So what is Jimin to you, now? 

Someone you still have a weak spot for because it's not like you wake up one day and suddenly all your feelings you harboured for a person disappears. But you know you want to move on. You know you do not wish to go back to sharing the same dynamic with Jimin ever again. 

And this time your decision does not come from a place of hurt, anger or frustration. This time it comes from a place of clarity and acceptance, which is also why it doesn't seem difficult to follow through with your choice. 

Nevertheless, you do appreciate Jimin giving you flowers. Although, you think there was no need for it. 

For a brief moment, you contemplate if you should be texting a thank you to him but then decide otherwise when you remember that you have blocked him. Even if it's for the short span of two minutes to send a text, you don't think you're ready to unblock him just yet. 

For the time being you simply settle for putting the vase at the top of one of your drawers and taking good care of them. 

----------------------------------------------------------------

The next day it was a bouquet of white flowers with a note that read: 

I'm sorry; on the left and I know flowers won't earn me your forgiveness but I'm trying; on the right.

It once again was Jimin at your doorstep and once again, before you could say anything, he had decided his job was done as soon as the flowers were in your hands. 

You were too flabbergasted as you had thought that the whole giving you flowers thing was only a one-time thing. You didn't think Jimin would show up for a second time, just the day after, to give you another massive bouquet. 

Maybe you should have seen the same thing happening on the third day but somehow you didn't and were just as surprised, if not more, when Jimin showed up with another bouquet on the third day. 

Before you could say anything, Jimin was gone. 

Which is exactly why you now find yourself unblocking his contact. 

You: hey

You: just letting you know I appreciate the flowers but you do not need to send them anymore 

You: I forgive you

Jimin is on the phone with Taehyung getting an earful about his cowardness and running, when he receives your text.

"I'm telling you, this flower thing is not going to work. She hasn't even tried to talk to me" 

"From what I have heard you are the one who has never allowed her to even open her mouth and–"

"Hold on, someone texted me," Jimin interrupts Taehyung solely to avoid getting called out for the umpteenth time. However, his eyes almost fall out of his sockets when he sees that it's you. "Tae, Y/N texted me!"

Taehyung, too, is surprised to hear this. "What did she say?"

Jimin takes a deep breath, his nostrils flaring as he fills his lungs up with as much air as possible. "Right, I will open her messages." 

When he does read the words you have sent him, he is even more surprised. But even more so, he is relieved. Gosh, he feels like he could cry tears of joy. 

"She forgave me," Jimin speaks in a tone that is a little too loud for Taehyung's ears. 

However, Taehyung doesn't protest as his friend's words seem more important at the moment. "Are you serious? She did? What did she say?"

"She said that she appreciates the flowers and that I need not send them to her anymore and that she forgives me." 

Taehyung pauses for a moment and then grins brightly, the relieved and excited tone of his friend making him feel happy. "Then what are you doing fucker? Text her back, you idiot."

Jimin nods but then responds verbally when he remembers that Taehyung is over the phone and not with him in his room. "I'll text her back."

Saying so, he ends the call with Taehyung and starts typing. 

Jimin: Thank you

Wait. 

Thank you?

Should he say thank you? Is that the right response? But is sending a simple thank you good enough? 

He doesn't think so. 

Quickly deleting the typed words, he begins to think of a better response. 

If not thank you, then what? How about 'How have you been?' No, no, no. That sounds way too casual. 

He should send something that appears to be cool and that doesn't make things awkward. At the same time, he should text something that leaves room for a conversation. A proper one. 

Geez, texting is difficult. 

What if he tries teasing you like he did before everything happened? No, that would make it look like he never took the matter seriously. 

Should he...should he just be uncool and be honest for once? 

Should he just let you know that he feels like a bag of stones has been lifted off his chest and that he can breathe again? That he feels like he can think properly, again? 

That might be too much. 

But maybe he can just try letting you know that he's incredibly grateful for your forgiveness without sounding cheesy? Yeah, he can definitely do that. 

Jimin: Thank you.

Jimin: that word isn't enough but that's the best I have got 

Jimin: I am incredibly grateful and I promise I won't make you regret your choice. 

When you read his texts a few minutes later, you're rather surprised. Is Jimin saying these things? There's no way. 

But then you come to a conclusion that, there indeed is no way. Jimin must have made a friend of his type out these words. Now, that makes a whole lot of sense. 

You chuckle at the thought and react to his messages with a thumbs up and leave it at that. 

The moment Jimin sees you reacting to his messages, he types out another message, one that he has delicately crafted in his mind. Something light that hopefully will lead to a proper conversation.

Jimin: How have you been? 

Your phone pings and you notice Jimin's text. Something uncomfortable churns in your stomach at his words. Jimin most likely thinks things are back to normal and that you two will once again bicker and joke around in no time.

Guess, you need to break it to him. 

You: I've been fine 

You: but I would rather have us not go back to the way we were 

Jimin is already in the middle of forming another text that conveys that things won't be the same and that he'd do better but his heart literally breaks into pieces when he reads the next text. 

You: I don't think we should be in contact anymore 

You: it's a proven fact it doesn't do either of us any good 😂

You: especially me.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Jimin has decided to watch a movie. Not just any movie, the fault in our stars. Because he needs something to make him feel sad. Correction; he needs something that he is consciously aware of, to make him feel sad. 

It's much much more annoying when you get sad and heartbroken over something and yet you cannot explain why you feel that way. Imagine suddenly getting stabbed by invisible knives that you can't see but can only feel. Yeah, it feels the same. 

But who cares anyway? Jimin is watching a movie that will make him plenty sad and unlike you, it won't have him feeling like someone who hasn't been in touch with his emotions for ages. 

Taehyung munches on his popcorn slowly, his focus periodically shifting between Jimin and the TV screen. 

Taehyung knew something was up the moment Jimin texted him asking if he would like to watch The Fault in Our Stars. For the people who don't know, Jimin does not watch sad movies, like ever. Because irrespective of how much of a fuckboy he is, he is a huge softie on the inside (which is actually very cliche of him). But as his fuckboy-ness would have it, he absolutely hates crying. 

Taehyung does not believe that Jimin does not cry or that he tries to keep his tears at bay. Because from the few times that he has seen his friend crying, he knows that he isn't someone who's good at holding his tears back. So no, Jimin does cry and when he does, he cries like a baby. However, what Jimin ensures is that he does not cry in front of anyone.

But here's Jimin, crying in front of Taehyung. 

This boy is going to give me a headache, Taehyung thinks with a deep inhale as he once again shifts his focus from Jimin to the screen.

It must have been another fifteen minutes or so when he hears a small sniffle coming from his left. Huh, things haven't even turned that sad in the movie yet. 

Taehyung looks at his friend only to realise his suspicions are right when he notices his friend subtly wiping under his eyes. 

Taehyung takes hold of the remote and switches the TV off. 

He has had enough. 

Jimin looks at Taehyung with perplexed features but before he can ask a question, Taehyung is getting up from his seat to turn the lights on. 

This makes Jimin quickly grab a few tissues and wipe at the corner of his eyes. 

Taehyung rolls his eyes in annoyance. "Sometimes I can't tell if you're a drama queen or a little kid." 

Jimin looks at Taehyung with a clueless expression. As long as he pretends he has no clue what Taehyung is talking about, it should be good. 

Taehyung simply scoffs and shakes his head in defeat. "Do you want to talk about it or should I just leave?" 

This has Jimin facing away from Taehyung and he scowls at the centre table. "I have nothing to talk about."

"Cool then, I have some important work to do, I'll get going." 

"Sure do that. Leave me. Everyone does, why shouldn't you?"

Ah. Drama queen, it is. 

"So what Y/N left? Like did she leave you on seen or something? Is that why you're so sad and upset?" Taehyung guesses the possible cause of Jimin's state from his words. 

Jimin wishes it was that simple. He honestly would give anything for Taehyung's words to be right, for that being the cause of his sadness. But if only.

Taehyung deduces that things might not be that simple when Jimin does not give a verbal answer and appears to become more sulky. 

Taehyung makes his way to the couch and claims his previous seat next to Jimin. "What will you take to just tell me what went wrong? I know you're dying to let it out."

Jimin looks at his friend for a moment then suddenly reaches out to grab his phone from the table. He opens your texts and just places his phone in Taehyung's hands. 

With a small concentrated frown, he takes a look at the screen and goes through the chats. 

"So this is what has gotten you like this," he mumbles to himself.  "Have you tried talking to her and telling her that you won't be repeating the same things again?" 

Jimin shakes his head. "She never gave me the chance to do so."

Taehyung hums, deep in thought. "What do you want to do now?" 

"I don't think it matters."

"It does. Now tell me what do you want?"

Jimin looks up at the ceiling with blurry eyes. "I think I want us to go back to the way we were."

Taehyung, although wanting to, does not show the disbelief he feels at Jimin's words. He keeps his composure calm so that Jimin does not feel uncomfortable. "What you're saying is you want to go back to the way you would annoy her and she would put up with it?"

Jimin's spirit lifts just a little bit when he remembers how things were before and he finds himself absentmindedly nodding. 

"Which would also mean going back to the way you would keep sleeping around with people and then at the same time would make flirty comments towards Y/N?" 

The tiny little corner of his mouth that had lifted, once again turns into a scowl as Taehyung's words register in his brain. It's as if he's knocked into his senses. 

Noticing that Taehyung has successfully managed to grab Jimin's attention, he hopes he can only make Jimin see his point. "Honestly, Jimin have you ever realised where you went wrong? Or did you apologise to her solely because you thought that was what she wanted and that would have her back in your life?" 

Questions. Another set of questions. Jimin could honestly scream. But something about Taehyung's gaze makes him unable to run away from the queries like he has been doing all this time.

He considers Taehyung's words for a moment and then mumbles in a small voice, "I don't know."

Taehyung hums, having guessed that answer. 

"I just wanted to apologise to her because I know I have hurt her," Jimin keeps his tone soft and vulnerable. "I may not know all the ways in which I have hurt her but I know I should have respected her wishes and should have stopped flirting with her when she had asked."

"I may not know exactly how or why it affected her but I know it led her to be angry–" Jimin breaks off suddenly when a thought occurs to him and soon he looks even more ashamed, "–and they say all anger stems from hidden pain. If that's true then I must have caused her pain."

Taehyung releases a breath he didn't know he was holding. He wonders how his friend can be both stupid and smart at the same time and why exactly does his brain start working when the damage has already been done. 

"So you realise that you have caused her some sort of pain?" 

"I must have," Jimin agrees. 

"Have you then tried figuring out what exactly she means to you?" 

Jimin's tears have dried, thanks to the ongoing conversation that has distracted him enough to have the wheels of his brain running again.  

"She's someone I care about a lot and someone I want in my life." 

"As a friend?" Taehyung pushes. 

Jimin nods. 

Taehyung hums, "I think you really need to sit with yourself and think things through." 

—-------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is dumb and Taehyung is loyal.

Which is why the latter finds himself in the middle of a party, waiting for you to arrive. 

A week of Jimin moping and being a sullen child, had Taehyung take matters into his own hands. Jimin could not possibly figure things out by himself even if everyone around him could. Taehyung only hopes he will admit what has been brewing for a long time, when his feelings smack him right across the face. 

Taehyung leans against the bar counter, his eyes hardly moving from the entrance as he waits for you to walk through the door. 

It takes about another fifteen minutes of his eyes locked on the door, for you to finally emerge. 

Taehyung relaxes a breath. He had to do a lot of digging to find a common friend and for him to convince that common friend to somehow convince you to come to the party. He wasn't sure if all of this would work, but now that you're here, success is a step closer. 

He gives you five minutes to say your hi's and hello's and then, he's making his way to you. 

"And you must be Y/N?" 

You look at the guy who seems to know you by your name and frown when you don't recall ever having interacted with him. "And you must be?"

"Taehyung. Kim Taehyung."

Your brain clicks in realisation. Taehyung, a name you have heard Jimin mention many times. However, this is the first time that you get to put a face to the said name. 

"I have heard of you," you nod as a feeling of reluctance takes over you. Why is Taehyung approaching you? 

He smiles. "I'm not surprised by that."

You return his smile awkwardly and wonder what you should be saying next. "How do you know me?" 

"Let's just say I have heard of you as well," his smile turns into a full-blown grin as if he's enjoying this. 

"From Jimin?" 

"Ah yes. We both have an idiot named Jimin in our lives."

You feel your traitor heart get curious at the confirmation. Taehyung knows of you from Jimin? Jimin talked about you to his friends? The thought of that catches you with surprise as you never thought you were ever important enough to him, for him to do that. You thought you were just another girl who fell for him. However, your curiosity is soon overtaken by the thought of him making light and fun of your feelings.

"That idiot, however, speaks highly of you, which is why I just could not miss the opportunity to speak to you," Taehyung quips, sensing the thoughts inside your head. 

You look at Taehyung, wondering what to make of his words. You just find it difficult to believe that Jimin speaks highly of you. One speaks highly of the people they respect and well—no, you don't want your mind to wander there.

"So you're here speaking to me, to verify the things Jimin has said about me?" You keep your tone light, playful and teasing, so as to not come off as rude. While, on the inside, you're really confused as fuck as to what to make out of this. Does Taehyung not know of the recent changes in the dynamics between you and Jimin? 

"Oh no, absolutely not," he shakes his head. "I do not doubt a thing Jimin has said about you. I'm only here out of sheer curiosity and with the intent to get to know you better."

And some ulterior purposes. That part he leaves unspoken. 

You observe him for a moment and relax a little when you realise that he seems genuine. You don't know, why he's here and what he wants from you, but you decide talking to him won't be of any harm.

—---------------------------------------------------------

Jimin is grumpy as fuck when he walks in and is greeted by the loud music that blasts through the speakers. Goodness, why did he enjoy partying, again? 

He really wouldn't be here had it not been for Taehyung's constant nagging that he had something important to say, and that couldn't be done unless he attended the party. 

Technically, his words made zero sense. Taehyung couldn't just say whatever important thing he had to say, over the phone? Apparently, according to him, he couldn't. 

He prays to whatever god is out there, for the sake of Taehyung that he finds him soon. 

The universe, however, has other plans. 

Jimjn spots you before he spots Taehyung. He sees you smiling wide and even in the dimmed lights, he can see the way your eyes shine with amusement and joy. As selfish as it is, Jimin feels any amount of hope he might have had, leave at the sight. You're clearly doing fine without him. A part of him wishes you weren't. 

It feels eerily similar to the time when he had spotted you on his way to class. 

But then he realises you are with a guy. A strange emotion fills him, one that he believes he hasn't felt before, ever. He realises he's jealous. He's so jealous of the lucky bastard who's getting to make you laugh and with whom you seem so comfortable with. With that jealousy, comes a huge wave of insecurity. The guy doesn't seem to have messed up like Jimin did. He doesn't seem to be someone you feel the need to cut off your life. All of which Jimin has done and is. 

However, when the light falls on the face of the said guy, Jimin is hit with a sense of anger and confirmation that the said guy is much, much better than Jimin is. 

Taehyung is smart, has a good sense of humour and surely knows more when it comes to matters of the heart. Whereas, Jimin has only been confused and no matter how hard he has tried, he has been unsuccessful in clearing up the cloud of confusion. 

For a brief moment, he is taken back to the words Taehyung had said to him–you're so in love–which Jimin had found utterly ridiculous at the time. However, now that he finds himself in the hold of jealousy and a brewing insecurity that only you hold the power to put a stop to, he doesn't find the idea as absurd. 

He's never been in love before. But somehow he is still hit with the realisation that all his desperation, anger, jealousy and insecurities stem from one thing and one thing only. His love for you. 

He is hit with more and more clarity with each passing moment as he stares at you. An overwhelming urge to make you his, washes over him and with strong, determined steps, he walks in the direction where you chat with Taehyung. 

The moment the two of you realise Jimin's presence, your smile falters whereas Taehyung's widens.

"Jimin," you whisper, caught completely off guard. 

"Y/N," he greets you back. "I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"Me neither," you mumble in a small voice. 

"How have you been?" 

Neither of you miss the fact that this was the very same question he had asked via text, to which you had made it clear that things would never be the same, instead of actually answering him. 

However, now that you both stand in front of each other, you think it would be incredibly rude to not answer him. "I'm fine." 

Your short answer leaves no further room for conversation and it's only when you realise that Jimin refuses to avert his eyes from you, that you ask him back the same question. 

"I've been anything but fine," Jimin answers, without missing a beat. 

His answer is similar to yours in terms of being short and vague. However, his response means exactly the opposite of yours. 

You stifle the question that's on the tip of your tongue and push away the overgrowing concern at his answer. This is exactly why you had chosen to end whatever friendship you two had over text. You were unsure of the feelings Jimin would stir within you. Sure, you have made the choice of moving on from him but there was no denying that you haven't moved on yet. 

You nod and think it would be best to include Taehyung in the conversation. He would surely know how to break the tension. However, you realise at the same time as Jimin does that Taehyung has disappeared into thin air. 

Taehyung's gone, you think with surprise and disbelief, having no clue when he left. 

Taehyung's gone, Jimin thinks, beaming with glee and satisfaction. 

"Do you want a drink?" Jimin asks, having no intention of leaving. 

"I could actually do with some alcohol," you mumble mainly to yourself, but somehow despite the loud music, Jimin manages to hear you. The very next moment he has two drinks in his hands and gracefully offers you one.

"I have a few things to say," he says after a few sips.

Oh god. Please be kind to my heart. You stay quiet. You were not prepared to face Jimin. After texting him that day, you had honestly thought that was it. It was hard for you to send him those words. So incredibly hard. But you knew it was for the best.  

A part of you had wished for Jimin to regret losing you. But you knew that thought to be impractical. You knew in reality, Jimin must have slipped into someone's bed instead of giving you a second thought. You had honestly thought Jimin's attempt at apologising with flowers was merely a result of his hurt to the ego. Nevertheless, you appreciate his effort and know better than to have any further expectations from the man. 

However, this is incredibly confusing. More so, because the Jimin who was sending you those flowers would run away right after he knew that the flowers had reached their destination. However, this Jimin, stands in front of you with eyes locked with yours, refusing to back down. 

"I had sent those flowers to you, because I knew I had to apologise. I knew I messed up. I knew I hurt you. Don't get me wrong, the knowledge that I had hurt you was enough of a slap on my face, but I didn't know what it felt like for you," he takes a pause, "but now I do."

Jimin is aware that comparing what he has put you through with what he felt for merely a few minutes after seeing you with Taehyung, is completely unfair. However, it'd be fair to say he has got a taste of his own medicine and he fucking hates himself to have you put through that, over and over again. 

"I know now, because–," he takes a deep breath, afraid you won't believe him, "–I have come to the realisation that I'm in love with you."

Your pupils dilate in shock and after a brief moment, your expressions morph into that of disbelief, much like Jimin had expected. 

"I don't expect you to believe it. I know I haven't done much to earn your trust. All I ask is for you to give me a chance to prove myself."

You're too shocked to make coherent thoughts. As a matter of fact, the severity of Jimin's words doesn't click in your brain. How can it, when you have seen it for yourself how appalled Jimin feels at the thought of commitment? How can you digest the thought of Jimin saying these words, that too, to you? 

"What do you want, Jimin?" You ask wanting the interaction to be cut short, afraid that the longer you stay in his presence the more you will find yourself inclined to believe his words. 

"Let me take you out on a date." 

Kim Taehyung

I'm in a relationship.

You absent-mindedly stare at the words on your screen as you feel the mix of emotions resurface yet again. 

Taehyung is in a relationship. The Taehyung you love so dearly, is in a relationship. And if you are to go with his status updates, he's quite happy about it as well. 

How do you feel about it, exactly? 

You feel betrayed, hurt, confused, angry, perplexed, sad, annoyed, embarrassed, lonely, frustrated, upset. These emotions are only a few to name. There's so much you think and believe, you still haven't figured out yet. Anytime, you try to focus on your emotions in hopes that you will be able to let it all out, all you come up with is an empty feeling. 

That's another thing. You haven't cried at all. But you want to. You want to just let all of it hit you at once and get it off your chest. Because the heavy uncomfortable feeling that often stirs your heart is not something you wish to deal with for long. 

Sometimes your mind comes up with all the little things and moments that had made Taehyung so special to you and you find yourself this close to breaking into uncontrollable sobs. But then it just never happens. It's like someone is pressing the accelerator and the brake at the same time and you're just there, frozen in time, not knowing what to do. 

You doubt if you have even fully grasped the concept of Taehyung being in a relationship. The thought that he's in one and you got to learn about it only after he committed, that too through a WhatsApp status, is completely unbelievable to you for some reason. No matter how much you try, a part of you doesn't want to believe it.

It's a whole set of emotions you never thought Taehyung would make you feel. He was your feel-good person, one of your best friends and someone you trusted with your entire heart. It's something you don't even know as to how to react to. 

"Y/N!"

You blink back to reality when someone shakes you by your shoulders. "Huh?" 

"You zoned out again."

"Oh," you speak in a tone of realisation, "I'm sorry–"

"Nothing to apologise for. Just forget whoever that guy is. He's surely not treating you right if you have this conflicted look on your face all the time."

If only it were that easy. You wish it was that easy. 

You chuckle at your next desk co-worker, Shanaya's, words. "I will surely contemplate on your words." 

"Men don't deserve shit from us if they treat us like shit," she nods seriously. "And with the way, you have had this sad-confused look in your eyes for a whole week now, I strongly doubt that man is any good for you."

Oh yeah, it's been a week.

Although, you could have been fooled by how the admittance of his relationship remains the last text exchanged between the two of you. You just didn't know how to respond to him at that time. You were too busy absorbing the shock to think of a proper response. 

You had just shut your net off and tried your hardest to fall asleep. But you just couldn't get a blink of sleep and since then you also couldn't bring yourself to pretend to be fine with him, when you were far from it.

Maybe you had posted your status a little too frequently to subtly let him know that you're online and well-active on your socials but are simply choosing to not talk to him. On the other side of the coin, is the fact that you feel disheartened that he hasn't made any effort to talk to you. It's the longest the both of you have gone without talking to each other. 

A hand waves in front of your face gaining your attention as your co-worker looks at you knowingly. 

"See! Not good for you."

You smile at her words and shake your head softly, amused by her straightforward and direct nature. 

—-----------

"How are you?"

You roll your eyes before replying. "I'm fine, I'm fine."

"Hmm," your best friend hums. "On a scale of 1 to 10?"

"Idk man, 7?"

"That's an improvement," she speaks to herself. "Now tell me, have you blocked Taehyung, yet?"

"I won't do that," you reply softly with a tone of surety. 

She sighs over the phone. "Babe, he's a dick. Why haven't you cut him off yet, is beyond me."

Your best friend is of the kind whom if you call crying, she'd ask you to first get rid of the person who's responsible for your tears and then she will allow you to tell her what went down for you to cry. If only she were in the same city as you, she'd have committed the crimes herself instead of having to beg you to do them. 

She's protective of you, incredibly so. 

When you had told her everything about Taehyung, she had muttered to herself something along the lines of how she knew he was gonna turn out to be a dickhead. You never queried her on that because in a way you knew what she meant. 

On learning about the situation you and Taehyung were in and about his unwillingness to be in a relationship, she was very firm about making her point that Taehyung was only making excuses. She was adamant that a person who really loves you wouldn't come up with reasons as to why they shouldn't be together. At the time, you had acknowledged what she was trying to say but you added that sometimes people get scared and fear often turns out to be an emotion that is rather difficult to overcome.

With much reassurance from your side that Taehyung was a great guy, she had let go of the topic. However, to say that Taehyung has now earned the entirety of your best friend's hatred, would be an understatement. You'd have been really concerned about his safety had she been in the city. 

"He–", you pause briefly, "–isn't a bad guy." 

Your friend scoffs. "Right. He's the worst."

"He is nice," you say a little more firmly. 

"Oh! Yes please, someone please give him a Nobel prize for his niceness!"

To your surprise the tone in which she speaks, makes you burst out laughing. "You really hate him, don't you?"

"Has he ever given me a reason to NOT despise him?" 

You chuckle as your laughter dies off. "Well, I don't blame you. I'd hate the guy as well if I was in your place."

"Hah! So you agree on something with me."

"But," you emphasise on the word, "he's not a bad guy. I don't know how everything turned out to be this way but trust me he has a very tender heart."

"I cannot believe you're making excuses for him, Y/N." 

Her surprisingly soft tone serves as a reminder that your best friend is probably one of the most compassionate and understanding people you've ever met. The only time you've seen her behave like an angry child who's ready to throw some punches, is when you get hurt. 

And admittedly, you're the same way when it comes to her.

"I'm not making excuses for him, I know him. He'd never intentionally hurt someone."

"But he did hurt you!!!"

"I know and I doubt he realises it," you sigh. "But I need to know his side of things."

"I'm sure he will run if you try to confront him," she grumbles. "He'll probably not even reply if you tell him how much of a dick he's been."

"Heyyy," a childish whine escapes your lips. "I have more faith in him than that. He respects me enough to talk things out."

She makes a sound of complete disbelief, "You bet my ass he would just pull stuff out of his ass."

"We will see," you chuckle.

You had to make up your mind sooner or later and somehow the conversation with your best friend has reminded you of the faith you have in Taehyung. If you need answers, you're sure he'd give them. Most importantly, you don't plan on losing the friendship you have with him this easily. But you don't think you'd be able to just push everything aside and pretend that things are fine. You need to clear it out. You need for him to realise that he has hurt you and you need to know how things changed so quickly. 

—————————————————————

You: hey 

It took you another day to get the simple three-letter word out of your system. But you do it the very first thing in the morning after waking up. Whatever roller coaster ride of emotion it is going to take you on, you want it over by today. 

Thankfully, it takes only ten minutes for your phone to ping to notify you of a message from Taehyung. 

Tae 🐻: hello, birdie 👋

A snort escapes you when you imagine all the lovely cuss words that would leave your best friend's mouth if she were to learn of his response to your 'hey'.  

You, too, find yourself being amused yet disappointed at how oblivious he seems to be. 

You: I'm sorry for not responding to your texts any sooner

Chewing on your lower lip, you click on the send button. While this text is meant to serve as an apology, it also serves as a means for you to know whether he really is as clueless as he seems. You're curious if he's at least aware that something must have been wrong for you to not text for this long.

Tae 🐻: It's okay, don't worry. I understand!

Tae 🐻: work can get busy 

Tae 🐻: it's fine! 

Sighing, you realise it's fruitless. You need to be upfront as there's no other way for you to go about it. 

You: uhmm thanks 

You: but before we catch up and all that, can I just get a few things off my chest?

Tae 🐻: sure! Go ahead. 

Suddenly you find yourself feeling anxious. You are not quite sure how this is going to turn out and how you're going to put your emotions into words. It sure appears to be a difficult job considering how muddled your brain feels every time you think about the events that have led to this.

You:  i don't really know how to say what i want to say lol

You: this is so awkward

Tae 🐻: just say it

Tae 🐻: it's the same ol' me after all

Some of your anxiety softens at his words. 

You: i know but i just dk how to say it 😂

Tae 🐻: that's okay

Tae 🐻: would it be more comfortable for you if I were to go offline? and I can check your messages when you give me the green signal to open your texts? 

Now that he mentions it, you think that would be lovely. That way you could take your time figuring out how to word your sentences without having the rush of typing things out fast over the worry of him coming to assumptions before you say the full thing. 

You: that'd be great! 

You: thank you! 

Tae 🐻: well then, I'll go offline. You speak your heart out 😌

You: open my texts only when you see a thumbs up or a message that directly asks you to open it. Okay?

Tae 🐻: done 👍

Sighing, you relax on your sofa and think. Now that he's offline, you need to figure out what to say. Rather, where to start because you just have so much to say. 

It takes you another two or three minutes before you start typing. 

You: so idk how this is gonna sound or how it's gonna get interpreted but I really need this out of my chest for it's been bothering me the last few days. 

You: so ummm, you know we both had openly admitted to having feelings for each other and then you told me you weren't really ready for a relationship? And I agreed to things being the way they were because I never wanted to pressurise you. I always wanted to be a friend first, whom you can trust and feel safe with, more than anything else. 

You: it's true that we never had a name for what we were. But it's because of that very reason that it always remained very confusing to me as to where we stood. Especially where you stood. 

You: i always could have asked in the course of the year as to where we stood but i always let you be because i was cautious that asking you, would in a way, pressurise you. 

You: however, that is not to say that i wasn't put in a dilemma when i would get propositions for going out on dates or when someone would ask me out. 

You: i didn't know where your feelings for me lied. While I avoided any assumptions, i also didn't act as if you did not have feelings for me. Because what if you did and then my actions hurt you? I knew how much you have been hurt in the past and i just didn't want to add to that. 

Your fingers pause as you take a look at what you have covered so far. When you go through your last two texts, you go awry at the thought of sounding like someone who's claiming to have done him some huge favour. 

You: I'm not saying all this to say that i have done you a huge favour or something by the way. Or that you owe me something in return. 

You: I'm just saying this because when you're so cautious and thoughtful over someone, it hurts to be on the receiving end of actions that make you feel incredibly stupid. 

You: it would have been better if you had told me, you know? That "hey, there's this girl i like," and I'm not saying in a way that you had to take my permission or something but just that it would have been nice to know that you thought of me and of what kind of an effect it would have on me. 

You: I just wish I didn't have to learn from a WhatsApp status 

You pause before thinking if you have missed anything. When you go through your words, you realise that you indeed have missed something important. 

You see, in the mix of all the heavy emotions, you also are happy. You're happy for him. That's something you realised the very day you learned about his relationship. It's odd but even in the midst of all the confusion you were feeling, a part of you felt glad.

You were glad that he found someone he loves and someone who makes him happy. You also found yourself excited on his behalf. 

You won't lie, you were surprised that you weren't jealous. Before Taehyung, for a long time, you had hardly had any guy in your life except for fleeting crushes. Even then, you can acknowledge the fact that jealousy is a very natural emotion to feel in this scenario. However, when you realised that you were happy for him and that happiness did not originate from a place where you had to force it, you were also proud. 

To you, there's no greater testimony of your love than that. 

You: i don't think i have mentioned this before but I'm really happy and excited for you.

You: go ahead and open your texts ig 😂

There are questions in your mind that you think would have been better had you asked them. Questions as to how he was unwilling to be in a relationship when it came to you but suddenly found himself being in a relationship a year later? 

However, you decide that's something you'd rather not ask. 

When you think of it, you indeed find it unfair and there's perhaps that hint of anger that bubbles in your stomach. But you recognise that there's no purpose in asking that question. 

It's possible that his feelings for her run deeper than they ever did for you. Or it could be the fact that they work together and it's human that you'd grow close to someone who's there with you physically rather than someone whom you only talk to over the phone or via texts. 

But figuring out the why is none of your business. Neither is it something you're concerned with. Whatever the reason might be, he's in a relationship and he has already made a choice. The why is irrelevant now. 

Another reason, the why is irrelevant to you is because, you have never found yourself thinking along the lines of what you could have done differently for him to stay and choose you. You have never wondered if it was something you lacked. You'd never let yourself think that way for anyone. Once upon a time, you did. You were filled with insecurities and would question yourself anytime someone would hurt you or leave you. But you have overcome that and have learnt to love yourself. You'd never undo all that progress by entertaining those thoughts ever again. Even if it's Taehyung. 

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen letting you know Taehyung is typing. His text soon arrives making your breath hitch. 

Tae 🐻: I have read your texts. Give me some time, and I'll reply to them. 

So you'll have to wait. 

It's fair you think, he can take the time he needs, to figure out what he has to say. 

You only hope you can get over this soon. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's been an entire day since Taehyung said he'd reply to your texts but unfortunately, he hasn't yet. 

You know he will reply, you have that faith in him but you only wish he'd do it sooner. There's that lingering anxiety that comes with being unable to predict what he's going to say. 

You have also been wondering if you have worded your words correctly. You found yourself worrying what if you came across as jealous and as someone who's unhappy for him? You really hope you didn't sound bitter because you aren't. 

Yes, there's a part of you that is sad because the moments that you thought were special for the both of you, were all in your head. Because you loved him.

There's also this feeling that now you have been replaced. That now, things won't ever be the same. Perhaps, a part of you wishes you could stay in your head a little longer and pretend. 

But all of that aside, you also have immense amounts of trust in the friendship you both share. Taehyung is someone who is incredibly kind and loving, and he's a great friend in general and you're sure that both of you would somehow manage to keep your friendship intact.

Penny: Has he replied yet? 

You look down at the screen to find a text from your best friend.

You: no 

You: not yet 

Penny: huh told you

Penny: he's a dick 

You smile and shake your head.

Knowing you have a long day ahead, you cook yourself a plate full of breakfast and get ready for work. In a way, you're glad that there's work to keep you busy. You do not know what you'd have done had it been a Sunday. You'd probably have been restless as fuck and would have been checking your phone every five minutes.

Thanks to your workload, you only get time to check your phone during lunch. However, the workload doesn't help with the disappointment you feel, when each time that you do check your phone and find that there's no new message from Taehyung. The disappointment only increases when you realise he has put a status about some funny fact regarding hyenas. 

Whatever he sends you as a response to your texts, it better be good to have you kept waiting this long. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

It's nine in the evening and you're at home when you finally receive Taehyung's text. Your anxiousness is overpowered by curiosity and impatience as you click on his message. It's a wordy and lengthy one. 

Tae 🐻: I was confused, Y/N. Very confused. Although I had confessed my feelings to you, I was extremely confused and scared to take a step forward. When things with Kira ended, I was lonely and sad and my thoughts were very self-destructive. I had zero self-confidence. Talking to you, spending time with you, and texting you gave me the greatest joy and it acted as an escape from those thoughts, feelings and difficulties I was facing at the time. However, if you ask me now, where my feelings originated from, I wouldn't be able to tell. Were they genuine or a result of my love-starved state, I wouldn't be able to tell. But I'm glad it did as it helped me move on from the grief that accompanied my breakup. You have no idea how much you helped me at the time and I was selfish enough to take all of it, without thinking of the consequences, one of which was falling for you. This conversation we are having now is one which we should have had long ago. But I was scared that me not taking the step forward and telling you all this, would make you lose interest in me. Instead, I kept you hanging. I thank you for always being such an amazing friend. I have always loved you but I was too scared to put the tag of a relationship. I mistook my infatuation as readiness for being in a relationship. I'm guilty of all the things you mentioned but I don't know what to do to make things right, as I really don't want to lose the friendship we have. With all that I have done, you'd obviously think that I don't care about you, or at least not as much as you do, but trust me, I do. I have just been shit at expressing my gratitude and telling you how much you mean to me. I'll do better. I just hope you have it in your heart to forgive me for my mistakes. Thank you.

Something that you have been really hoping for, finally happens. You cry. 

Fat, angry droplets of tears roll down your face and you close your eyes shut as the searing pain spreads in your chest. 

Everything just feels so final and also so fruitless. 

Three little dots appear at the bottom of the screen and you realise that Taehyjng must have noticed that you have read his message. 

Tae 🐻: say something

Tae 🐻: this is making me anxious 😅

Despite your blurry vision and him being the cause of your pain, you feel the need to put him at ease. 

You: i appreciate you being honest with me 

You: I'll reply properly in a while 

You: just let me have a good cry first 

The petty part of you wants him to know that you're crying, you want him to know how hurt you are. 

Tae 🐻: Y/N?

Tae 🐻: are you okay?

You don't reply, not having it in yourself to lie.

You let your tears flow as you cry silently.

It's too much for you. You feel used. You feel like a rebound. You feel like a bridge he walked on to reach his destination and to move on from his past. Your heart feels walked all over. Your love feels irrelevant. 

It's true that you wanted to make him feel good. You wanted him to move on from the hurt caused by Kira. You wanted him to feel good about himself. All because you loved him. But you never thought your love was so disposable to him. That it would only be the means for him to move on to someone else. 

What's worse is, despite all of that you understand. You understand that it wasn't a conscious choice of his to hurt you. He, himself, wasn't aware that he was using your love to heal himself. 

It's worse because a part of you feels bitter and angry. If you were the one who helped him get over his hurt, shouldn't he show at least a bit of loyalty to you? You feel angry because he didn't communicate, he left you in the dark and just assumed that you must have been detached enough from your feelings for you to not be bothered by his new relationship. But then a part of you understands that as well. 

With Taehyung, it's a tug of war where you want to be mad at him and feel betrayed by him but no matter what, your love for him makes you see things from his point of view. 

In a way, you find it surprising as well because you never realised just how deep your love runs. Seeing their side of things despite the hurt they have caused? Isn't that love at its purest? However, that makes you ache in pain as well. You loved him as your own. Only to realise that his love for you was merely an infatuation.

His love for you was shallow. 

You think it would have been better if he were an asshole whom you could just hate. It would have been easier for you because you'd know he wasn't worth your time. But how do you handle all of this when he's one of your closest friends? 

That's a question you'd probably need time to answer. You need time to let the stinging pain in your chest subside. You need time to let yourself process the silent heartbreak you're going through. 

With shaky hands and blurry vision, you block Taehyung. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

Last Friday of every month, all your colleagues go out to have dinner and drinks together. You enjoy accompanying them because honestly, it is nice and fun, almost like a little treat to yourself. However, this week, you're not really sure you'd like that. You don't have the energy to socialise.

One might argue that with recent events in mind, the best thing to do would probably be just that, to socialise, as it would take your mind off things that have been bugging you. But then you have always been the type who needs energy to socialise rather than the kind who energises themselves from socialising. 

You have almost completed packing your bag when someone taps on your shoulders. 

"You're coming with us today, right?" Shanaya queries, having a suspicious glint in her eyes as if she's already aware of your plans of not joining. 

Shaking your head softly, you confirm her suspicions. However, Shanaya is having none of that.

"You have to come," she insists, sounding determined. "It's my birthday treat."

You're thoroughly surprised at the information. "It's your birthday today? Oh my god, I'm so sorry–"

"It's not today, it's tomorrow," she cuts you off. "But tomorrow is off so it's an early birthday treat."

She looks at you with such pleading eyes that you cannot bring yourself to say no to her. Reluctantly you smile and the next thing you know, you're being wrapped in a warm hug. 

"Yay, thank you," she squeals, excited. "Now common, let's go."

As it turns out, today's destination is one stop away. Usually, you all go to someplace that's near and doesn't require transportation. However, Shanaya wanted to take all of you to a particular place that, according to her, serves the best dumplings and noodles. Who can say no to Shanaya, anyway?

As you sit there and wait with the others for the bus to arrive, you look at the screen with Taehyung's conversation open. 

It's only yesterday that you unblocked him. You were well aware that you'd be unblocking him and talking to him again at some point. The friendship was too precious for you to let go. And it's not something you're saying simply because you love him. If you were to look back, Taehyung has never been a bad friend to you. He's been there for you whenever you needed. He has never let you down when it comes to friendship. 

However, you doubt you're ready to talk to him just yet. That doesn't mean you don't want to.

There's just so much that you have to tell him. The little things that have occurred over the course of the two weeks that you had him blocked. Everything feels a little incomplete unless shared with him. 

Your fingers hover over his profile picture and you hesitate to click on it. He has uploaded a new profile picture and you wonder if it is too weird to just stare at it.

"Y/N?" 

The sound of your name startles you and while trying to hide your phone screen, you accidentally end up clicking on the small call button right next to the profile picture. 

Shit. Shit. Shit. 

You cut the call immediately and stare at the screen which now shows his name at the top of your call logs. He's gonna see a missed call from you, shit. 

"The bus is here, Y/N."

Oh right, that must be why Mike had called for you. You quickly gather your thoughts and get on the bus, shying away from the worried look Shanaya throws your way. 

When you get a seat on the bus, the first thing you do is shoot him a text. You indeed are not ready to talk to him but your accidental call has ruined your plans. 

You: I'm so sorry

You: i called you by mistake

You know it will probably be a while until he sees your call and your text and it's a good thing that you have your co-workers to accompany you. That way you'd be distracted enough to not fret about it unnecessarily. 

All of you get down when your stop arrives and make your way inside the small restaurant. 

The chatter and the giggles and the latest gossip about your boss is enough for you to temporarily ignore the sinking sadness that sits at the pit of your stomach. 

"Y/N, drinks?"

Your colleagues are well familiar with the answer to this question. You don't prefer drinking. The reason behind that, however, is not known to them.

Like the majority of people, you enjoy getting drunk and letting it loose. However, you're the kind of drunk who gets giggly and finds every little thing amusing. And for some reason, you feel comfortable to let that part of you out, only in the presence of a few people. Four, to be exact. 

One, your best friend. Two, Min Yoongi. Three, Lee Sana. And four, Kim Taehyung. 

Needless to say, you hardly ever get the chance to get drunk. 

The usual answer rests on the tip of your tongue, but there's also this desperation for you to let go of the heaviness. You really could do with some giggles and amusement.

"I'd probably have some whiskey," you reply with a shy unsure smile as your colleagues cheer.

The night somehow refuses to come to an end as you all soon find yourselves seated on the floor of Kate's apartment, in a circle. It starts off with some dancing and then Nitesh takes up the guitar and starts singing. He's a good singer, you can appreciate that and everyone's having fun with big smiles on their faces as they clap along with the beats. 

You have had three shots so far and for the love of god, you still feel that melancholy. It heightens when you realise you're sad in such a fun environment. Despite wanting to join them in their fun, your mind keeps wondering what it would be like if Taehyung were here. Gosh, it's been so long since the both of you have hung out and truthfully, it has never bothered you before. Whatever communication you two had was more than enough for you. Sharing the little details about your day, sending him silly stickers, all that held more meaning to you than he probably ever realised. That was much more intimate to you than anything physical.

You shake your head to yourself when you realise you're here being sad over a guy who wasn't even your boyfriend. It's so ridiculous. 

But then again, despite the lack of a label, you were loyal to him with your entirety.

Geez, the alcohol seemingly has made you more sensitive. 

"You sure are having fun," Shanaya comments. "I'm assuming the alcohol didn't help much?"

It doesn't take rocket science for someone to figure out that if a person who's never said yes to drinks before suddenly willingly says yes to them, there must be some pain they are trying to numb. 

"Surprisingly, no."

She hums. "Wanna talk about it?" 

Shanaya has asked this question to you multiple times over the span of the last few days. Never has it made you feel as if it's coming from a place where she is prying for details. It has only made you feel as if she's letting you know she's all ears, whenever you need her. Each time, you have shrugged as if it's not a big deal, as if it's not important enough for you to talk about. However, now, you really could do with a shoulder to cry on.

Hence, you vent and even amid all the noise and music, she intently listens to your words without interrupting even once. 

When you finish, she releases a heavy sigh. "That's what you meant when you said it was complicated."

You chuckle at the reminder of the response you had given to your then-new co-workers, to being asked about your love life. You were so cautious of hurting Taehyung, having no idea that it was going to be him, hurting you.

"Do you plan on being friends with him?" 

You don't miss the edge her tone has, as if she believes it's not worth it. Either that, or she thinks it's not possible to be friends with someone who's hurt you like that.

"I do," your reply is instantaneous. 

"Don't you feel angry?"

"I do," of course you are angry. It would be absurd if you were not. 

"Are you sure that is a good idea?"

You're not. You know the dynamic between you and Taehyung would never be the same again. Things would be different. You have now realised that things which meant a lot to you, perhaps never held the same meaning to him. The dynamic is bound to change. But is that good enough of a reason to cut your friendship off?

"He's only a human. People fall in love and sometimes, they fall out of love. I do not control the way he feels and when it comes to love, I don't think any of us have a control over who we fall for or when we fall," you release a sigh. Maybe it's all the more difficult for you because you still love him despite everything. "He's not in the wrong for falling for someone just because it's not me. I wish he would have not kept me in the dark but we all make mistakes, we all mess up."

"But more importantly, he's a friend first and he's always been an incredible friend to me. Now, I wouldn't be a good friend if I were to ever entertain the idea of making him choose between me and his happiness, would I?" 

She remains quiet for a moment, observing you closely. "Do you mean all that you said?"

You nod. 

She chuckles. "Well then, you have one of the purest hearts I have ever come across."

—--------------------------------------------------------

You were aware that there were unread texts from Taehyung but had refused to open them until morning. The night was exhausting and more than anything, you wanted to sleep. However, when morning came rolling, there was no avoiding opening his messages. 

Tae 🐻: why are you suddenly being so formal? 😂

Tae 🐻: it's completely fine.

Relief courses through your veins at his casual tone. You don't know how you'd have responded had he mentioned you blocking him seemingly out of nowhere. However, there's a small part of you that remains curious if he had even realised you blocked him. Nevertheless, you'd much rather put all of that behind you and move forward.

You: i was randomly scrolling through my phone and the next thing i knew, my phone was calling you 

Tae 🐻: lmao 

Tae 🐻: blame it on the phone, yes

You smile. Going back to being friends might not be that difficult. 

You two chat a bit and catch up with each other about things the both of you have been up to recently. You lose track of time as you make yourself a cup of tea, refusing to let your phone down, feeling excited at the thought of telling him about the things you have been up to. 

Tae 🐻: well i have something to tell you

You: uh oh

You: go on

Tae 🐻: so last day me and Bridget went on a date 

Tae 🐻: and things got steamy 👉👈

Tae 🐻: if you know what i mean

You very well know what he means.

Your stomach sinks in disappointment.

It's not because you're jealous or that the thought of Taehyung with someone else makes you feel disheartened, you have moved past that. Rather, you feel disappointed that he thought it was something appropriate to mention to you. 

Had it been anyone else in some other scenario, you'd have had no issue. Friends, close ones especially, tend to discuss these sorts of things, don't they? However, this is Taehyung and keeping the recent events in mind, he should not have mentioned it to you at all. Especially not when, his new relationship had made you feel as if he didn't bother to think of you, once. 

He keeps on going about how it was one of the best nights of his life but you don't find it in yourself to play pretend and entertain him. Although you don't directly ask him to stop, you don't reply to his texts either.

Tae 🐻: Y/N? 

The screen reads when he's done and probably upon the realisation that you haven't said anything for a long time. 

You: nice

Oh, how you wish technology was advanced enough for the text to be read aloud on his phone in a sarcastic tone.

You: let me tell you about yesterday

You: we went back to Kate's place 

You: and i got drunk simply because i was feeling low and sad and depressed and was looking for an escape 

You: but that didn't help, only enhanced what i was already feeling

You could have probably avoided saying this but then you wanted to say it. You don't know if he'll put two and two together but it's your own way of telling him that things are still sensitive.

Tae 🐻: you sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken 😂 

A loud laugh escapes your lips. Gosh, is this the guy you have been crying over for weeks? 

Wow.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Taehyung has let you down, as a friend. More than once. 

A few days back, he'd asked if he could send you a poem that he'd written. You had always known he liked writing stuff and hadn't thought much of it. However, upon asking what it was about, he had replied 'newfound love'. Your reply to which had been, 'In that case, I'm not interested'. 

You didn't care how that sounded, you were not gonna put up with this bullshit just because it would be impolite. 

With each passing day and with each small incident where you feel as if your feelings are totally disregarded, your disappointment keeps growing. You really had not expected this kind of behaviour from Taehyung. 

One of the main reasons you had fallen for him was the way he seemed so emotionally wise. He was aware and attentive towards the people around him and was always kind. His recent attitude contradicts all of that.

There is a part of you that also recognises how his recent behaviour has made you detached. You could not say that the Taehyung you fell in love with and the Taehyung now, are the same. In a very twisted way, it made accepting the fact that there's nothing between the two of you, except friendship much easier. 

Tae 🐻: Y/N

Tae 🐻: I messed up. 

The text comes at around one in the morning. The only reason you're awake is the report that's due in two days. But the incoming text puts your fingers to a pause as worry clouds your senses. 

Is he okay? 

You: what happened? 

Tae 🐻: i messed up 

Tae 🐻: i feel so embarrassed

You: can you stop being vague? 

Tae 🐻: i sent a vm to Bridget of me singing TS 

You couldn't help rolling your eyes when you read the words. Huh, you should have seen it coming. 

Unlike other times, for some odd reason, you find yourself leaning towards the idea of entertaining him. Perhaps it's because you haven't had a proper conversation with him for a long time. And also perhaps, because you know this won't go on for long. 

You: so?

Tae 🐻: she is a huge TS fan 

Tae 🐻: she asked me to sing one of her favourite songs

Tae 🐻: and i cannot ever bring myself to say no to her

Tae 🐻: but like now that i listen back to the audio i sound terrible and i maybe did a British accent while singing

Understandably, you can see where he's coming from. The nervousness that comes with making a gesture for someone you adore and then feeling embarrassed about it, worrying whether they found it romantic or did you make a fool of yourself. And less than one month of being in a relationship is not enough to quieten the nervous jitters. 

So, you tell him what you would have, had it been any other friend. Upon further chatting you realise he genuinely feels like crawling inside a hole and never coming out. It doesn't surprise you, Taehyung has always been like that, going for the big gestures and self-doubt creeping in later.

You let yourself enjoy the normalcy and pretend that Taehyung is just another friend of yours and that he isn't someone who broke your heart.

—--------------------------------------------------------

Your phone has been buzzing and pinging since morning. Midnight to be specific. Birthday wishes have been flowing in with notes and gifs and with each message you feel more appreciated than you feel the rest three sixty-four days of the year. 

However, with each notification sound, there has also been that hope and expectation that maybe this one would be from Taehyung.

He had texted you a few days back reminding you of your upcoming birthday and although it's afternoon already, you don't really believe that he has forgotten the day altogether. 

When evening rolls around, you start growing sceptic. You squirm in your sofa, finally acknowledging that it's very well a possibility that your birthday might have slipped his mind. It makes you go back to the long, seven-hundred-word, letter he had written for your birthday, last year. 

The words make you smile.

Do you know how amazing you are? I don't think you do and it will be my job to make you see that.

Sometimes, I think I don't deserve you with how kind and loving you are but I'm so incredibly grateful for you that no amount of words would ever be enough.

I have never met someone like you, ever. 

Only a few lines from the massive paragraph that his greeting text was and the corner of your lips lift up. However, the moment is broken when you realise you're smiling. 

You shake your head as sadness fills you. You cannot let yourself recall old memories and feel the way they used to make you. It's not an option anymore.

Locking your screen, you sigh. You won't lie, you had really wanted a text from him. Anything that would show you that he still cares for you and the friendship between the both of you still held a chance. It's no wonder that you have been seeking some sort of reassurance after everything that he has done. 

It's around eleven at night that Taehyung's name first appears on your notification bar. You grin wide and open your text, glad to have been proven wrong and feeling stupid to have considered the idea of him forgetting your birthday. 

A link to a YouTube video.

Your grin disappears just as quickly and disappointment like nothing you have ever felt before, makes its way to your heart. 

You leave him on seen.

A day passes and you wonder if he will send at least a belated wish, apologising for not wishing you any sooner. But nope 

It's the day after that, the second day past your birthday when you check for any messages from him and you are led to his stories. It's slides of pictures of him and Bridget and the caption is him singing praises of her and telling the world how much in love he is because it's her birthday. 

That's your last straw.

It's probably a very small issue, forgetting birthdays and all. But to you, it's not. It just adds up to the pile of things that have made you feel like you were the only one who was taking into consideration the friendship that was at stake.

Plus, it cannot be that difficult to remember your birthday when his girlfriend's birthday is literally two days after yours. 

You have had enough. You need to walk out of Taehyung's life.  

Considering all that had made you fall for Taehyung, it's incredibly hard for you to believe that he doesn't know what he is doing and that he has forgotten basic decency. The option that was left with you, didn't make sense to you either because it implied he let you down intentionally. But the Taehyung you knew would never hurt a fly. 

It made you wonder if it was simply a result of his honeymoon phase that he had forgotten to consider how his actions could hurt people. Maybe he was too elated to think things through.  The empathetic part of you understood. But then you shook that away, knowing very well that if you were in his position, irrespective of how happy and high you were, you would never do that. 

Maybe you had realised that this was coming from the very day, he hadn't thought twice before mentioning his intimate moments with Bridget. But, boy oh boy, had you hoped to be wrong.

You had given him opportunities to prove you wrong, to give you a reason to stay but he only kept giving you reasons as to why you should leave.

It's an odd sensation that washes over you when you come to the conclusion that this isn't worth it anymore. 

You feel sad that the friendship is coming to an end. You're sure you'd miss his company and that there would be days when you mourn the friendship that once used to be. You know there would be times when you'd resent him and there would also be times when you'd feel angry at yourself for giving so much of you to him. 

But you won't ever regret your choice of leaving him. 

One thing this whole ordeal with Taehyung has made you realise is how deeply you love. How even in the midst of hurt, you were happy for him and how you saw and loved him for what he was and not for what he could be or for what he offered you. It made you take pride in the way you love. You gave him the purest form of love. 

A life where you and Taehyung are not friends, won't be your loss. It would be his. Irrespective of whether he realises that or not.

You feel oddly poweful with the knowledge that there was nothing lacking in your love and you'd never dishonour your love by staying where it isn't valued, appreciated and seen. 

But you also have a lot to say to him. You are not going to just block him and let him wonder why you did that. No, you'd tell him exactly why you left. 

—--------------------------------------------------------

It took you a couple of days to get down everything you wanted to say. There were times when you felt conscious of the ever-growing length of your letter and you had to shake off that feeling because this was going to be the last interaction between the both of you. Why stop yourself from saying everything you want to just because you're worried it'll be lengthy? 

You read the words one last time, wanting to make sure that you feel satisfied. 

Hello Taehyung, 

I hope you're doing fine. I wouldn't know how you're doing because we haven't had a proper conversation in quite some time. Or at least that is how it has felt to me. Nevertheless, I'm writing this because there's loads that I need to get off my chest. So, here we go.

When I saw you for the first time and we talked, I could feel you carried a lot of pressure on your shoulders. Almost like, you had something to prove, like you wanted to show that you weren't what you were perceived to be. Or maybe you wanted to prove that you were more than just what meets the eye. I didn't know what in particular. It felt like you wanted to be seen. 

And would you believe, I grew a soft spot for you? Do you know why? Because somewhere, I felt the same way too. 

I also knew we would be great friends, lol. You know how? Because I knew you had a heart of gold. You cared for others, you were thoughtful and kind. However, I could feel that you have a habit of being harsh on yourself and it didn't sit well with me. From the very first time we talked, I wanted to be a good friend to you, someone you could rely on, someone you could trust and someone who could possibly make you be a little less harsh on yourself. 

Perhaps with the weak spot, I also grew protective of you.

You were desperate for love and at the same time felt unworthy of it. I didn't know why though. I didn't know what had you believing so lowly about yourself. But then you told me about Kira, and it all made sense. 

It made sense why you felt unworthy and why you felt the need to prove that you were more than what others saw. Because, you believed Kira's words. You really thought you were unlovable. 

Instead of feeling the satisfaction of  being proved right, I felt so angry at Kira. I may have clawed her eyes out in my mind more than once. 

After learning the scars that she left on you, it only made me wish you could see yourself the way I do. I wished you could see that there was nothing you had to do to be loved except for just being you.

You may wonder why I'm suddenly saying all this. Well, let's just say it's necessary.

When you told me you were falling for me, I was surprised but then I felt myself feeling so warm at the thought of you liking me. It took me a few minutes to realise that I was falling for you too. 

But that was it. 

We never put a label on what we were and I was okay with it. Because I was okay with what we had, I never asked for anything because you were happy. You were also such a great friend, someone who I could talk to anything and everything about. What more could I ask for?

What's more? I could tell you were slowly coming out of whatever shell you were put in by Kira. I can't quite explain how it made me feel to see you smile more freely, to see you be more confident and be sure of yourself. But to put it lightly, it made me feel damn good lol.

I knew I had some part to play in it. I just didn't know that was the only part you wanted me to play. 

I moved past all that, trust me. You using my love as a rebound, making a girlfriend without even letting me know once, I moved past all that. Because, I trusted you when you told me you were confused and confusion is never intentional, is it? 

It hurt like a bitch to think that was all my love meant to you. But it was okay, you didn't mean to hurt me. You cared about me. You cared about our friendship. You valued it. 

Or so you said. 

I don't know if you meant it when you said it. But in case you did mean it, here are a few things not to do to the girl you used as a rebound and intend to keep the friendship with.

First, do not mention that you had sex with your new girlfriend. 

Second, do not be dumb enough to say "You sound like a typical guy whose heart has been broken" when you are the guy who's caused the damage. 

Third, do not send her the song you sang for your girlfriend and seek comfort to soothe the embarrassment you feel.

Fourth, do not ask her to read the poems you wrote for your girlfriend.

Fifth, do not forget her birthday when your girlfriend's is just two days later. 

These things didn't hurt me as much as it disappointed me. Would you believe, I laughed when you called me a typical heartbroken guy? When I got drunk the day before, my head was filled with thoughts of you and my heart was heavy with the knowledge that I was only a rebound. That day, even in the midst of alcohol, I chose our friendship over everything. I chose to forgive you. I chose to love you, still. But when you mentioned what you did, I just found it so funny to think that this was the guy I was thinking so much about and was so sad about. 

As it turns out, I'm not much fond of thoughtless people. 

But still, I hoped that somehow you'd give me a reason to stay. All you did, however, was turn a blind eye to my feelings and disrespected me.

If you were to ask me, whether my love for you is romantic or platonic, I wouldn't be able to tell. I have never sat and thought about it. All I know is I loved you, in one of the most unselfish ways possible. 

But that's not to say I don't realise how I deserve to be treated. And that's not to say that I'd stay somewhere where I'm an afterthought. 

When I said, I was happy for you and Bridget I really meant it and I hope you don't think that your relationship ever had a role to play in this decision of mine. It didn't, it was solely you that made me choose this option.

But this friendship of ours has run its course.

I would never disrespect myself by putting up with your disrespect. I loved you as long as you were worth it. But the moment you took my love for granted was the very moment you lost my respect and love, both. 

If you have made it to the end, then congrats! I didn't know if you'd read the whole thing but truth be told I don't particularly care about you reading it either. I wrote this for myself, not for you. 

Before I finish this long-ass letter, let me tell you something; you have lost one of the best people you'd ever meet in this lifetime. 

Thank you,

With Love,

The purest form.

Jeon Jungkook

His words echo in your mind and after an elongated pause, you find it in yourself to respond. “What do you mean?”

Jungkook gulps, hating how controlled your facial expressions are. In the months of knowing you, he has never seen you try this hard to hide your emotions. “Me and Niki are not actually a couple.”

“Thank you for rephrasing the sentence but I am afraid that it does not make things any clearer for me.”

Jungkook takes a sharp inhale and meets your eyes with uncertainty. “It’s just a PR stunt.”

It takes a few moments for the words to register but when they do, things start making sense, almost like puzzle pieces falling in place.

Namjoon’s hesitance in answering your question about the truth of their relationship. His lack of shock to the words you had heard Niki speak and most importantly, why Niki might have said those words. The whole relationship is not real to begin with.

“But, why?” The words leave your lips without your permission, before you’re able to catch them.

For a moment, he hesitates, wondering if it’s his place to say a few of the things he will have to, to make things clear.  But then he shakes off the worry, knowing Niki won’t mind.

“Both of our fandom, for some reason, ship us together. You know the whole ‘both are maknaes’ thing. Nevertheless, both of our companies thought it would be mutually beneficial for the two of us to put up this false act that we are dating.”

“How is it supposed to be mutually beneficial?” It doesn’t make sense to you. One of the oddest and most toxic traits of the kpop industry is how idols are expected to be loyal to their fans by remaining single. How then, a public relationship is supposed to garner anything except for unnecessary attention and hate?

“Niki is well, dating a youtuber. A female youtuber and pictures of them hanging out together didn’t take long to make it to the internet. Although at the beginning, everyone thought they were just good friends, soon there were questions as to whether it was just a simple friendship and well, people were not really happy with that idea,” he sighs, feeling tired just from thinking about everything that had led to this whole ordeal. “It wasn’t only about Niki dating a girl, it was also about her dating someone that wasn’t me. And of course, it was her girlfriend’s fault for coming between two people who are 'meant to be'. All of which ultimately made it incredibly difficult for the two of them to be at peace.”

You can imagine. The thought makes you sympathise with both of them. From Jungkook's words, it's clear the target was Niki’s girlfriend but you are sure it couldn’t have been easy for Niki to watch someone she loves hurt like that.

You understand Niki’s part of the deal. Putting up this font, would stop the threats and hate aimed at them but what was Jungkook supposed to get from this?

Jungkook looks at you and nods, acknowledging the unasked question. "When the offer first came, our company had turned it down, not seeing how it could benefit me. But I was the one who insisted and agreed."

"Why?" 

His discomfort grows and he swallows nervously, trying to gather his thoughts. "People are obsessed with me and Niki to the point where it's very predictable that they would hate it if someday I were to date someone who isn't her. I thought it would be good if we did this thing and people believed that we gave it a shot but it didn't work out. That way it would be one less thing I'd have to worry about while dating someone."

You put the thought behind of how it seems incredibly far-fetched and nod. He has answered your question about the nature of their relationship and why it was necessary. However, you still have a bunch of questions about a lot of things–starting with how crushed you felt when he moved you as Namjoon's make-up artist out of nowhere–but you do not wish to let them see the light of the day. 

Turning away, you start shuffling with some of the make-up products, indicating that the conversation is done. 

"Please say something," Jungkook pleads, tormented by your silence. 

"There's nothing more to say," you mutter, keeping away any emotion from being shown. 

"That can't be true."

You hate how sure he sounds. As if he is aware of every thought that's running in your head. As if he knows you a little too well. You absolutely despise how you might have believed the notion, once. Now, however, you do not want to. Because that'd mean he knew exactly how much hurt, his ignorance and pretence as if you don't even exist, caused you. 

"Y/N, please. We haven't talked for a long time. Please don't shut me out." 

Technically, you have two options. One, to keep ignoring him. Two, to snap at him and let every bit of your anger out. You had initially planned on sticking to option number one as it would make you look just as indifferent as Jungkook. However, now you find the option of letting words out without a filter, very appealing. 

"I know, I messed up but just talk to me–" the sound of a shaky exhale meets your ears, "–I miss spending time with you."

Well, that's some audacity. 

In the blink of an eye, you're facing Jungkook and taking several steps in his direction. You stop only a few steps away from him but you're close enough for him to notice the agony and pure rage storming through your eyes. 

"You better shut your mouth, Jeon." 

Jungkook flinches at your warning tone. However, he refuses to take the hint. "Y/N, ignoring me isn't going to solve–"

"Trust me, I'm not trying to solve anything," you speak through gritted teeth. "I'm just doing what I think is the right thing to do after someone disrespects you immensely."

"I wasn't trying to disrespect you," he claims, desperately trying to make you believe in something you don't buy for even a second.

"Yeah, ghosting me out of nowhere is not disrespecting me at all," your voice drops with sarcasm 

He feels his heart drop when you use the word 'ghosting'. Did you think that's what he did? Is that what it looked like? Gosh, this has all gotten messed up and he's the one to be blamed.

"I didn't ghost you," he mumbles, unable to look into your eyes and the sight of it causes all the pain that you had buried, to come to the surface. 

"Then please explain what it was," you voice waivers and you immediately hate yourself for showing weakness. "Please tell me what you thought you were doing by replacing me without even showing the basic decency to inform me that, yourself?"

He gulps, wondering if you'd even believe what he has to say. Even if you do, would you be willing to look past his stupidity?

"I found your note in my bag", you visibly flinch at the mention of the note. You had intentionally kept from mentioning your little confession, praying to whatever god is out there that somehow the note had been damaged before it reached the hands of the person they were meant to find. 

Jungkook notices your change of expression as it turns from hurt to embarrassed to anger and he despises himself for making you feel like that. "I had to make a quick decision and I didn't think you'd like to be my make up artist while I was fake dating Niki, especially without you having any knowledge about the fake part."

You stare at him blankly and try to process what he was saying. Did he–did he think he was doing you a favour by cutting you off?

You scoff, turn around and start packing your things with the intention of leaving the room. You're so done with this conversation.

When Jungkook understands your intention, he's quick on his feet and rushes to be right next to you. "Just give me the chance to explain myself fully."

You don't reply, your insides fuming.

"Y/N please," he begs. "Just hear me out once. Then I'll accept whatever it is that you decide for the both of us."

"I'm not gonna stand here and hear you speak utter bullshit that does nothing but let me down further."

Your voice comes with such a sense of finality that Jungkook knows, no matter how much he begs and pleads, you won't be giving him the opportunity to speak his side of things. 

Hence, he doesn't stop you when you walk past him and leave the room. But it only makes him more desperate for the day when you finally find it in your heart to give him a chance. Just one.

—-----------------------------------------------------

Jungkook has been persistent. Perhaps a little too persistent with his attempts to earn your forgiveness. Or at least that's what you assume the bouquets of flowers and little notes you find everyday at work are for. 

It's not only the flowers, it's also his constant texting and voicemails. His texts vary from a simple 'hi, what are you doing' to 'please, i miss you' and his voicemails have been a mix of him telling you about his day (something he used to do regularly when you were his makeup artist) to a more emotional version of his texts begging you to talk to him. 

You won't lie, his incessant pleadings have made you curious what more could he possibly have to say. What could be so different from what he has already said that he is so desperate? 

On one hand, you find an odd sense of satisfaction from not responding to Jungkook despite all his efforts. You don't know what that makes you but after the hurt and embarrassment you felt to the point where you had to numb yourself to block those emotions out, his tries and attempts feel like an ointment to your wounds. On the other hand, however, is a voice nagging you as to how, this cannot go on for long. The huge bouquets that wait for you everyday are soon going to catch attention and if anyone were to catch a hint of who it is from…gosh, you don't want to imagine that.

But when you will find it in yourself to have a conversation with him, still remains unknown. All you know is whenever that will be, it will be solely because you don't want word to go out. Yes, that's all it will be. 

Today when you walk into Namjoon's dressing room, there's another bouquet waiting for you. The sight of it causes you to sigh. You don't know what Namjoon thinks of this but you're thankful that he hasn't mentioned it yet. That however, made it quite clear that he has some idea as to who they are from.

You let the flowers be where they are. You have never really taken them home or put them in water, afraid that it would be interpreted as you being accepting of his efforts, when you're far from it. You're still hurt and angry. 

If anything, sometimes you despise walking into a room full of flowers as they serve as a reminder of the thoughts you had before confessing to him. You remember thinking how confessing felt like putting a delicate unbloomed flower in someone's hand and whether the bud gets to bloom or not, depends on the person you're confessing to. 

If only you had known of the thorns you would be exposed to, back then, you'd never have confessed. 

The door swings open softly and Namjoon walks in. "Good morning, Y/N."

"Good morning," you greet him back with a smile. 

"So what's on card for today?" He asks before taking his usual seat. 

"There's nothing much for today, just rehearsals and then you have a v-live," you mumble. "But firstly I need to do your weekly facial."

He huffs. "Is it the one that requires you putting a lot of slimy stuff on my face and it stays on for like thirty minutes?" 

"Yep," you reply with a light laugh. Despite what he says, you have learnt that Namjoon quite enjoys his facial sessions. Unlike a certain someone. 

Your smile falters and your sudden change of mood doesn't go unnoticed by Namjoon. 

"Have you considered speaking to Jungkook?" He asks after a brief moment of silence. 

You're taken aback by his words. Namjoon has always avoided speaking on the matter. He has never even queried as to what you do with the flowers. Hence, his direct way of questioning has you fumbling with words. 

"I d–haven't," you change your wording, fearing 'I don't want to', might just be a little too rude. 

However, your choice of answer is put to vain with the very next question he asks. "Do you want to?" 

"I don't want to," you softly shake your head, mildly afraid how Namjoon will interpret it.

He simply nods, without any trace of judgement. "I'm not saying this because I'm picking sides, but I have known Jungkook since he was a kid and I can tell that he really is sorry. 

"Whether to forgive him or not, is completely on you. But put a little trust on him that he must have some reason behind doing what he did. Just hear him out once."

You keep quiet, unsure what to say. Thankfully, Namjoon understands that and soon changes the topic of conversation to something more light-hearted. 

Hours later, when everything comes to a close and it's time for you to leave, you find yourself hesitating. Namjoon's words simply refuse to leave your mind. Put a little trust in him. How can you, when he's let you down in every way possible? When he has betrayed your trust in ways that still keep hurting you? 

You gulp when you realise there's probably no end to the hurting until you have a chat with Jungkook and hear his side. At least, that way you will know his reasoning behind everything and it will hopefully stop your self loathing for putting the note in his bag. Even if all he gives is excuses, you'd at least have the satisfaction of having heard him out. Later maybe a week, or a month from now, when your emotions subside, you wouldn't have this unscratched itch of not knowing what he had to say. 

Maybe, maybe it's for the best that you talk to him.

—-----------------------------------------------------

"Come in," Jungkook calls out in response to the knock at his door and is visibly surprised when you walk in. He quickly gets up from his seat, stuffs his phone in his pocket and with a nervous voice asks, "would you like some coffee?"

You shake your head. You're not here for coffee. "No, thank you. I'm here to talk to you."

He nods as his nervousness spikes. This is what he has wanted and hoped for so long, but now that you're here, he doubts you will believe him. What if you don't? Even worse, what if you do and still don't forgive him?

The both of you get seated and your fingers anxiously play with the strap of your handbag. "What is it that you have been wanting to tell me?"

Jungkook sighs. Pushing the nervousness away, he knows that the only thing in his power is to tell you his side of things. Otherwise, he's powerless. 

"For the things I said last day, to make sense, I would have to mention that I like you," he cannot find it in himself to look at you as he says that. "I've liked you for a long time."

The words take you by surprise, and your mouth parts in shock. The shock then morphs into disbelief and denial. He did not just confess to liking you.

"But it's never that simple when you're a famous K-pop idol," something bitter coats his words and he looks defeated. "The consequences of dating me, is something that one doesn't realise until they face it for themselves."

Jungkook has grown a thick skin. But you? He doesn't want you to be someone who ever has to go through things that require you to build a thick skin. He doubts he will ever forgive himself if he were to see you beaten up by harsh words and constant criticism, all because of your association to him.

"I wanted to tell you how I felt but just the sheer terror of what you may have to go through, kept me from doing so," an unwanted shiver runs through his body when he recalls the moments where the fluttering in his chest would always be accompanied by a heavy sinking in his stomach. "It wasn't my choice to stress about these things but I couldn't help myself considering that associating with me had consequences."

Your face falls with each word that leaves his lips. 

"It was choosing between giving into my feelings and listening to logic. I tried to be logical and practical for as long as I could. Until, I just couldn't," a humourless chuckle escapes his lips. "I remember thinking that I just need to tell you how you make me feel."

He doesn't voice how there was a part of him that had wished you'd not reciprocate his feelings. That way, even after his sheer selfishness, things would be fine. 

"It was around the time I decided on confessing to you, that I learnt about the proposition from Niki's agency. Call me incredibly stupid but I thought if I did this, I'd at least do something instead of sitting and dreading with my hands tied." Jungkook shakes his head, finding it cruel that even after all this, he somehow managed to mess everything up. 

Your mouth parts unknowingly when the pieces click. Jungkook's decision to date Niki for the cameras, didn't come out of nowhere and it wasn't as far-fetched as you thought. His decision had come from a place of anxiety where he felt powerless. 

"But then I found that note," he cannot help but recall that day fondly. He felt like a kid and often found himself smiling, looking into the mirror. However, that joy was soon wiped off when the situation sank in. "I was so excited and happy, but then I realised that I had already agreed to date Niki."

You hardly blink as Jungkook speaks and due to that, you don't miss the way a smile appears on his lips. But it's gone as soon as it appears, as if he catches himself slipping and reprimands himself for it. It makes you consider the possibility if he was receptive to your confession in a positive way. 

"I didn't know what to do, I couldn't imagine letting you know that I felt the same but then going out and holding another woman's hand. Even if it's for the cameras, it's–," he closes his eyes shut as if pained, "–it's horrible."

"I couldn't do that but I also needed to make a quick decision. I thought the only way to go about things was to postpone answering your confession. After the announcement of the breakup with Niki, I thought I could talk to you then and clear things out. At that moment, that was the only option that made sense to me."

His words take you back to the day when you were filled with nervous excitement only for it to be replaced with dread and heartbreak when you learnt that Jungkook had replaced you as his makeup artist, just like that. 

"It was stupid, I know," he mutters in a small voice. "I don't have anything to say in my defence except for admitting that I messed things up and I didn't realise what it must have looked like to you, until it was too late." 

He paused for a few moments, looking exhausted. "I-I am sorry for everything. I know it's hard to believe but hurting you was the last thing I wanted to do. I really just wanted to make things right. If you can, please, forgive me."

You sense that to be the end of everything Jungkook had to say. The way he looks at the floor and refuses to look at you, makes you want to comfort him. But your feelings are too muddled, you're too confused and there's a lot that you have learnt that has left you surprised. You don't think you're in the state of mind to make decisions now. 

"Thank you for telling me everything," you keep your voice soft. It gives Jungkook the courage to finally look up at you and his breath hitches when he realises you aren't looking at him with your gaze filled with hate and pain. It gives him hope. "But I need some time to process everything." 

Jungkook nods, knowing that's the best he can ask for at the moment. He's relieved that you aren't dismissing his words and feels incredibly grateful that you are taking time to think things through. He knows that you taking time is more for yourself than for him, but there's a hint of a promise that this is not the end of the conversation, that you'll talk to him again. And that's more than anything Jungkook can ever ask for.

—-----------------------------------------------------

The last few days, your mind has been completely occupied with Jungkook's words. Not only his words but also the way he looked refuses to leave your mind. You couldn't find it in yourself to doubt his genuineness and the fact that he was feeling terrible, was displayed in green neon lights. 

You had to remind yourself repeatedly that it isn't only about how he feels. You should cater to your feelings and figure out what to do next. 

There was also the new revelation that Jungkook liked you. Quite honestly, you didn't know what to do with that information. The whole conversation was melancholic and it must have rubbed off on you for you didn't feel the joy one usually does on learning that their crush likes them back. 

Everything was quite confusing. So much so, that it had taken an entirety of five days for you to sort out your thoughts and approach Jungkook. 

He sits across from you in a pale blue shirt and black trousers, his body language screams that he's nervous and oddly enough it comforts you to know that you aren't the only one feeling that way. 

"After learning everything, I couldn't help but wish you had communicated before. It would have saved the both of us a lot of hurt," you begin with a sombre tone, feeling your heart hurt at the constant overthinking you have had to go through. "Things might have been simpler that way." 

"I know," Jungkook nods, not having a single word to defend himself with. 

You look at him a moment longer wondering if he would try providing  you with a reason for his lack of communication. When he doesn't, you're confused how you're supposed to perceive it. 

On one hand, you'd have liked for him to actually have a proper reason. On the other, you're sure Jungkook is aware of his mistakes and his lack of response somehow gives the impression that he's owning up to everything without making excuses. 

"But what's done is done and there's no changing it," you continue after a small sigh. "It's for the best that we move on from it."

Jungkook's heart shrinks. By moving on do you mean just never acknowledging the feelings you both share for each other? That's exactly what comes to his mind because you feeling the same way you did, despite the hurt he has caused you, sounds too good to be true. He cannot be shameless either to ask you about it directly. He will take whatever you will give him. 

Instead, he asks a question which he knows would eat him alive if he doesn't voice it. "Can you forgive me?" 

"I wouldn't have asked for the both of us to move on, if I hadn't already," and then you do something that makes Jungkook feel like a ton of bricks have been lifted off from his chest. You smile at him.

Forgiving Jungkook wasn't easy. You wanted to hold on to the anger because your pride was hurt and most importantly, you were scared of getting hurt again. But then you also had to think through things logically. 

Jungkook has never had it easy with fame. Nothing could have ever prepared him for the way he has always been under scrutiny and his sudden loss of control over his own life. With time, he learnt that it was for the best to not pay attention to the people who weren't even familiar with him. 

He could overlook and turn deaf to the hate that's thrown his way. However, his loved ones being targeted is something that fills him with guilt to an inexplicable amount. You have seen it yourself. 

The incident isn't that old. A year back, Jungkook had gone out with a bunch of his childhood friends. He was pictured closing the car door for one of them, who so happened to be a girl. That one single shot was enough for the media and internet to decide there must be something more than platonic going between the two. 

You remember the way Jungkook was so troubled and absolutely heartbroken with the hate and threats that were aimed at his friend, for something so simple and it was visible to everyone that he blamed himself for it.

You cannot imagine what kind of stones would be thrown at you if word got out. The information that you're his makeup artist would be a cherry on top. Gold digger, witch, slut, whore; some of the less colourful terms. 

Seeing the way Jungkook suffered, it made sense why he would be so scared to be open about his feelings. You could imagine yourself feeling the same way had it been you being in his place. Seeing someone you care for, getting hate that they absolutely don't deserve, is painful enough for one to believe that it's for the best to keep distance. 

You also imagined what you would have felt had Jungkook admitted his feelings and had told you about the fake dating. Yes, you'd have the knowledge that there was nothing real between him and Niki. However, you'd also have to see them all over the internet and watch people go on and on about how perfect they are. You'd be aware that Jungkook likes you, but you'd also be bitter about how the beginning of your relationship is marked with him publicly dating someone else. It's not exactly a nice feeling. 

One could argue that the way events have turned out, they aren't perfect either. But there's nothing going on between Jungkook and you. At least, not yet. 

That's one thing that you both need to talk about and you really want to clear out everything, at once. Who knows what miscommunication would occur if things were left unsaid, again? 

"I would never intentionally hurt you, Y/N,"Jungkook squirms a little in his seat, ignoring the absence of the weight that has been eating him alive for days. He thinks you're going easy on him and he thinks he doesn't deserve it. 

"I am choosing to trust your words," you reply, having a sense of the turmoil Jungkook seems to be going through. The fact that he is always hard on himself is not unknown to you. "All I ask from you is to not break my trust. And for you to accept that you do not have to burden yourself with responsibilities."

Jungkook knows it's hard for him to not feel like there's always a bunch of responsibilities on his shoulder. Especially when one moment of misjudgement can cause irreversible damage. Despite that, he feels a sense of warmth spread throughout his body at your words. 

"I'll try."

You shoot Jungkook another smile; the second one this evening and he can't help but think that you should really stop giving him hope.

"There's one more thing that we need to talk about," your cheeks turn red and much like Jungkook earlier, it's your turn to squirm in your seat. "You said something about liking me."

You feel awkward at the choice of your words but then you aren't brave enough to start by mentioning your note of confession. 

Jungkook's eyes turn as wide as saucers and his whole face flushes to match the shade of your cheeks. He really wasn't expecting for you to bring it up. "Umm yeah," he nods. 

You feel a spark of impatience and annoyance at his short response. You took it upon yourself to bring the topic to the table and he cannot just spill everything, already? Why make it more difficult for you? 

"Yeah…..so?" You look at him with your brows raised, trying your best to ignore the way you feel like a three year old shy girl, on the inside. 

"I–I do like you," he stutters and looks away, for the umpteenth time, unable to meet your eyes. 

Your heart takes a fucking long jump. Who would have thought Jeon Jungkook would be so shy about admitting his feelings? 

"What should we do about it?" You intentionally use the 'we' for Jungkook to catch the hint that you want to do something about it. 

But of course, he doesn't. 

He speaks sullenly, "I have lost the right to have a say in the matter." 

"I want you to have a say in the matter. Tell me, Jungkook, what do you want?" You refuse to let go of the conversation and for Jungkook to let his guilt swallow him. He messed up, there's no denying that. But you could always acknowledge the fact that his heart was in the right place. 

Feelings of frustration makes his throat clogged up . "I just want to go back and redo things in a different way."

"That's not possible. What do you want to do now?"

He knows what he wants but voicing it, feels being ungrateful towards your forgiveness. It feels like he's being greedy. "What I do want, feels like too much to ask for."

"You'll never know until you ask for it." 

He sighs and reminds himself that you're asking him about the romantic feelings he has admitted to harbouring towards you. He reminds himself to not be selfish and make it about his guilt. If you want to know, he will tell you and he will be honest about it. 

"I want to be with you," his admission is made in a small voice but it doesn't hide the clarity his words have. 

Your breath hitches and you feel the soft pitter patter of your heart that you had missed when he admitted his feelings for you the first time around. 

"When does this fake relationship of yours end?" 

"A month from now."

You nod. "A month from now, take me out on a date and we will see."

Jungkook's eyes snap to yours, not having expected you to speak those words. You shoot him a small smile before getting up and leaving the room. 

—-----------------------------------------------------

SIX MONTHS LATER

"I swear to god, if you don't stay still, I'll intentionally ruin your makeup."

Your threatening low tone goes in through one ear and comes out of the other. "You could never do that."

"Don't test my limits."

A pout makes its appearance. "But that's my favourite thing to do."

You sigh in both astonishment and in love. 

How do you manage to repeat the same routine with the same man everyday and never get tired of it? Maybe it has everything to do with the way your heart keeps stuttering around this man.

No, the man sitting in front of you, is not the global superstar Jeon Jungkook. 

The man sitting in front of you is your boyfriend, Jungkook. 

The official tag on your relationship was put four months ago, after a month of going out on dates. When you say going out, you mean staying in the hybe building and arranging dates in as innovative a way as one can. 

The month in which Jungkook had to pretend to be Nikki's boyfriend only proved to you why it would have been difficult for you had you and Jungkook actually been a thing at the time. It was already painful and as petty and irrational as it may sound, it also made you jealous when you would see articles of the two of them. You're not quite sure how humilated you would have felt if you two were to be dating at the time and to see people comment on how they are a match made in heaven.

That one month, for Jungkook, was a mix of everything. The beginning of the month came with constant doubts and shame where he wondered what he should do when the month is up. He wanted you but he didn't really think he deserved you. But then he had to make up his mind; he made a mistake and he always acknowledged that but it would be so incredibly foolish if he were to let that stop him from being with you. After a week or so, he had made up his mind. He messed up, but boy if he wasn't going to make up for it.  

That whole month was spent with him brainstorming ideas on how he can show his sincerity and be a better man. Somewhere along the line, he had opened up to Niki about it and there's just a hundred percent chance that if he's smiling wide in one of those paparazzi pictures, he's talking about you.

Jungkook has been nothing but the best boyfriend you could have ever asked for. Any hurt or doubt was washed away soon after the both of you started going out. Being with Jungkook was so much more than you could have ever imagined. 

A month after being together, you were back as Jungkook's make-up artist. It was the best way to go about it as it would keep the both of you away from suspicious eyes and give the both of you ample amount of time to spend with each other. 

You both are aware that at some point, you'd have to inform the agency of the nature of your relationship as that'd be better than them finding it out from other sources. You're not quite sure what would be left of your job, but Jungkook seems quite sure that you won't be fired and that the members together, would somehow manage the higher authorities to make their rules more flexible. 

Jungkook isn't worried about the consequences with hybe, but he still finds himself stressing about the day the news becomes public. That is where you reassure him, that whatever happens, you both will get through it, together. You also remind him to not fret about it too much, because there's a long way to go before things are made public. For the time being, it's just the two of you. 

"No wait, that's actually my second favourite thing," Jungkook corrects himself. "My top favourite might just be kissing you."

You fight the blush trying to make an appearance and ask, "might?"

"The last time you kissed me was ten minutes ago. Forgive me for forgetting what it was like to be kissed by you."

As cute and adorable as Jeon Jungkook might be in front of the cameras, you have recently learned that he's just as sly and playful when he wants to be. 

"Will you stay still if I kiss you?" 

"Kiss me first and then you shall have your answer." 

So you do. 

Your soft lips are welcomed eagerly by his and they move against each other, tenderly without a hint of rush. Your breaths mingle and soft sighs escape as your hands get tangled in his hair. 

When you part, there's only a hair's gap between the two of you, "So what's the verdict?" 

Jungkook's doe eyes appear dazed as he looks at you. "Well my brain has turned into a mush, so you can totally expect me to stay still."

You giggle and the sound of it warms Jungkook's heart like nothing ever has. 

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A/N: i was so anxious about making this so long especially the Taehyung part but then the Taehyung part is something that happened to me irl, so i also just wanted it to be as real as possible. For Jimin, it just didn't feel right for the reader to agree to go out or be with Jimin without him earning it. But then, it also didn't quite fit in this reaction thing, if that makes sense? If y'all want some good ol' grovelling from this Jimin in a one-shot i will see what I can come up with 😉.

That being said, let me know what you thought of this! (This really was a lot of work, so your words would be greatest source of encouragement and achievement for me). Also, if you like my work and wish to have access to all my works before anyone else, here's my patreon!

Hope you enjoyed reading this!