#ugh i don't know i'm. grateful for the trust.
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#sola said#i am not good at reading people at the best of times!#even worse when i'm tired! or when the thing in question is a weird romantic/platonic situation! or when the thing is a weird romantic/#platonic situation that doesn’t even involve me!#so why the fuck am i the one people are coming to to ask to interpret this#ugh i don't know i'm. grateful for the trust.#i'm glad that somehow i have earned being the person that folks come to first about this shit i just#wish i was less tired/had more brainspace to devote to it/that it didn't feel so urgent#when i say i wish i could hug my friends and fix things for them like. that sentiment is true but it also would be. so much easier#i just want to laugh. or scream. i've put myself in a situation where i'm holding so many people's shit that i can't tell anyone My shit#it's only third week and i already am so tired i'm making major fuckups but! it's social this time! and not academic/workload! which makes#it so much harder to put down!#what did i do to deserve this#like both in the sense of. truly how did I get myself into this situation#but also like. genuinely I do not know what about me makes my friends keep me around much less come to me for this stuff. I want to know#what they’re seeing bc I am not seeing it#I am so tired just let me rest
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Unwanted: Chapter 2, Unwanted - Pt. 5
Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Avenger!Fem!Reader
Summary: When your FWB relationship with your best friend Bucky Barnes turns into something more, you couldn’t be happier. That is, however, until a new Avenger sets her sights on your super soldier and he inadvertently breaks your heart. You take on a mission you might not be prepared for to put some distance between the two of you and open yourself up to past traumas. Too bad the only one who can help you heal is the one person you can no longer trust.
Warnings: (For this part only; see Story Masterlist for general Warnings) Language,
Word Count: 1.8k
Previously On...: While on a mission with Steve, you two finally begin the process of healing and clearing the air between you.
A/N: This closes out Chapter 2! I have to say, I cannot wait to post Chapter 3; it's my personal favorite, and you'll see why soon enough! I hope you're all enjoying the story so far, and I'm so grateful for all the likes, comments, and reblogs-- you don't know how much they mean to me! You guys are the greatest! <3
Banner By: The absolutely amazing @mrsbuckybarnes1917
Taglist: (Please let me know if you’d like to be added!) @blackhawkfanatic @les-sel @marcswife21 @buckybarnessimpp
When the Quinjet landed back at the Avengers’ Tower, Bucky was waiting for you in the landing bay. You'd only been gone for four days, but as soon as he saw you start down the gangplank, he ran to you, picking you up and spinning you in circles until you squealed.
"Buck! Put me down before I throw up on you!"
"Can't, Pocket," he said, though he did stop spinning you. "Missed you too much. Physically impossible to let you go."
Steve followed shortly behind you, rolling his eyes at his best friend's theatrics. "No love for your old war buddy, Barnes?"
Bucky laughed, finally putting you down to give Steve a brief, one-armed hug. "Glad you're back safe, too, Stevie," he said. "And thanks for bringing my Pocket home in one piece."
Steve pulled you close in a side hug, the earlier tension that had existed between the two of you having faded since you had a chance to clear the air. "You should be thanking her for bringing me home in one piece. The girl's deadly with plastic explosives."
You shoved him away from you playfully. "Please, Stevie," you teased. "If you just learned the first thing about computers, you could have done the whole mission on your own, you wouldn't even have needed me."
"Always gonna need you, Pocket," Steve said, ruffling your hair. "You're family." You gave each other stupid grins before he hefted his go-bag over his shoulder. "I'm gonna go grab a shower and get some sleep. I'll see you kids later." He walked off into the belly of the tower, leaving you and Bucky alone.
"Ugh, I can't wait to get out of this tac-suit," you moaned. "I always feel so filthy after a mission with explosives, you know?" Bucky gave you a curious look as he leaned down and grabbed your go-bag for you. "Such a gentleman," you smiled at him as you led the way back to your room.
You went straight into the bathroom and unzipped the top of your tac-suit, pulling it down over your arms until it was hanging from your waist. With a sigh of relief at being freed from the confines of the heavy poly-carbonate blended fabric, you washed your face and started brushing your teeth.
"So, how was the mission?" Bucky called from where he was sitting on your bed.
"Goo!" you managed to get out around a mouthful of toothpaste.
"Good, good." He paused. "So, um, it's not really my business or anything, but did something happen... between you and Steve? While you guys were gone? Like, did you guys, I dunno... sleep together?"
You nearly choked on your toothpaste and quickly spat it out in the sink before coming out of the bathroom.
"I'm sorry," you said, pointing your toothbrush at him accusingly. "Did you just ask me if I had sex with Steve Rogers?"
He wouldn't look at you. "Like I said, it's none of my business. It's just that, before you guys left, you were always kind of, I dunno, angry at him? And then you get off the plane and you're hugging and he's got his hands in your hair and you’re calling him ‘Stevie’. So, I was just wondering if something happened."
"And your brain immediately jumped to us sleeping together?" You asked him, incredulous. He looked up at you. "Seriously? We just talked. Lanced some bad blood that had been festering between us since Berlin, so we can work on being good again, be a family again." You noticed he was staring at you, mouth slightly opened. "What?" you asked him.
He motioned vaguely toward your chest, and you looked down to realize your tac-suit was still hanging half off of you and you were standing in front of him in just a purple push-up bra.
"Oh for fucks' sake, Barnes. They're just tits." You stalked over to your dresser and pulled out a t-shirt and slipped it over your head. "Better now?"
He shook his head as if a spell had been broken over him. "Uh, yeah. So, you didn't sleep with Steve," he reiterated.
"No, I did not. To begin with, he's family. There's a major ick factor. And second--, no. That's really it. The idea is super gross."
"Good," Bucky chuckled. "I love Steve like a brother, but I didn't love the idea of sharing you with him."
You started shimmying yourself out of the pants of your tac-suit and tossed it into your hamper. "Yes," you deadpanned, "because you know how much I love being compared to an object that can be owned and thus shared among friends. Not emotionally triggering for me at all."
Bucky had the decency to look chastised. "You know that's not what I meant."
"Relax, Barnes," you teased as you stepped into and pulled up a pair of shorts. "I'm just giving you shit." You ruffled his hair. "I may be emotionally scarred and have more baggage than the cargo hold on an airplane, but at least I can laugh about it."
Bucky rolled his eyes at you, but there was a smile on his lips. "You're something else, you know that?"
You grinned at him. "I'd like to think so. Makes your life so much more interesting, don't you think?"
Bucky nodded in agreement. "Definitely. You're never boring, that's for sure."
You chuckled and flopped down on your bed next to him. "So, what about you? Any juicy drama while I was gone?"
"Hmmm, let's see..." Bucky thought for a moment. "I'm pretty sure Nat and Banner were fucking in the lab the other day."
"No!" you gasped, sitting up.
"Yeah; I needed some calibration done on my arm, and since you weren't here, I went down to Bruce's lab to ask him to help, but the doors were locked. I was about to turn around and come back later, when the door opened up and Nat came rushing out, won’t acknowledge me or make eye contact, and I swear her shirt was on inside out. I get inside and Banner's actively tucking his shirt back into his pants."
You cackled at the mental image, kicking your legs in the air with delight. "Oh, that's amazing. Finally, those two crazy kids got together. I'll have to find some way to get Nat to give me all the dirty, dirty details."
"Ugh, if you do, please keep them to yourself," Bucky moaned. "Last thing I need is a mental picture of Banner's mini-Hulk."
"Hey now, I'm sure Bruce is perfectly proportionate," you teased. Then you got serious. "I gotta admit, I'm a bit jealous."
"You have a thing for Bruce?" Bucky asked, eyes wide with astonishment. "I would never have guessed he's your type."
"What?! No!" You playfully shoved him. "Same reason I'm jealous of Tony and Pepper, Wanda and Viz, Clint and Laura. You and your left hand, Sam and whoever he's dating this week. It just must be nice to be in a relationship, you know? To have someone to share that part of your life with."
Bucky cocked his eyebrow, but nodded, understanding your meaning and letting your joke about his left hand slide. "So, what's stopping you from going out and getting one for yourself, Pocket? You're smart, funny, gorgeous. You could date anyone you wanted."
You leaned back, making yourself comfortable against your pillows and heaved a heavy sigh. "Oh, you know, just the usual: Trauma, trust issues, fear of abandonment. All of that fun stuff." Bucky gave you a look, and you knew he wanted you to take the conversation seriously, for once.
"Finnne," you whined. "After I... Once I started out on my own, I was... Well, I did everything I could think of to try to reclaim sex for myself, you know? It wasn't healthy, it wasn't smart, but I was young and stupid and I didn't know what else to do. I can fuck someone without having a panic attack now, which, trust me, is a vast improvement from where I started, but making myself vulnerable for that emotional connection? To transcend something from just sex to a real relationship? I have no idea how to do that. It's like, I can open up one way, or the other; I can't do both. It's too much. If there’s even a hint of an emotional connection with a guy, I shut down. Close myself off. Like, it’s not worth the risk of getting hurt.”
"I understand," said Bucky, softly and simply, and you knew that he did. Your traumas were different, but the scars they had left on you were so similar. "I haven't been with a girl, physically, since 1944," he confided. "I don't know if I can trust anyone to be that open with, to share that part of me with. Not after everything that's been done to me. And I worry that I can't trust myself to let go, not without hurting someone."
You let out a long, low whistle. "That's gotta be some kinda celibacy record." You clapped your hand over your mouth. "You're a reborn virgin, James Buchanan Barnes!"
"Reached your quota for serious conversation, have you?" Bucky asked with a piqued eyebrow.
"You know it's not my strong suit," you conceded. "But seriously, man? 1944? Oof. Your balls must be black by now."
He gave you a look of disappointment, causing you to sigh.
"I know, I know," you said eventually. "You're trying to have a meaningful discussion with me and I'm being an immature ass, again. I'm sorry."
Bucky wrapped his arms around you and rested his chin on your shoulder. "You're not an ass, Pocket. You're just... I wish you could talk to me without feeling like you have to fall back onto your defense mechanisms, that's all. I want you to feel safe with me."
You turned your head to look at him. "Buck, I feel safer with you than anyone else on this entire fucking planet. You're my best friend and you know all of my deep, dark secrets. You know me better than anyone, but I’ve spent a lifetime building those defenses; they aren't all just going to fall down in a day, so that means an inappropriate joke or two is going to slip through every now and then.”
Bucky smiled at you and squeezed you a bit tighter. "I know, Pocket. And I adore you for it. But if you ever want to talk about anything serious, know that I'm here for you."
"I know," you said, leaning into him. "And thank you, for being so patient and understanding with me. I get that I can be... a lot."
"No, you're just enough," he said. "Never think otherwise."
<- Previous Part / Next Chapter ->
#bucky barnes x reader#bucky barnes x you#bucky barnes x y/n#bucky x you#bucky x reader#bucky fanfic#bucky barnes#bucky barnes fanfic#bucky x female reader#bucky barnes fic#bucky barnes fanfiction#james bucky buchanan barnes#james buchanan barnes#mcu bucky barnes#james barnes
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Elbert Greetia: Chapter 1
The sound of lapping waves fills the quiet room where I pierce a butterfly's back with a needle.
––Another beautiful thing acquired.
I gaze, as if in prayer, at the vivid scales of the butterfly, its wings spread wide within a frame.
With this, surely, the "two of us" can be happy.
Surely, surely––
-
One night and then another has passed since I witnessed a sight I shouldn't have in midnight London.
Though I escaped death by fulfilling my duty as a "Fairytale Keeper," time has passed without any sense of reality, and once again, I find myself in the darkness of night.
––I am about to accompany Crown on a mission for the first time.
-
Roger: Is the inn around the next corner the one in question?
Alfons: According to the information we received beforehand, yes.
Elbert: .......
Roger, Alfons, and Lord Elbert---
I was walking through London, shrouded in night, with my three companions.
Kate: A certain inn is being used as a temporary storage for stolen art... right?
As a "Fairytale Keeper," my role is to closely observe the actions of Crown, who is "cursed," and record their sins.
(I want to fulfill my duties properly, gain their trust, and be released.)
(My heart hasn't caught up yet... but I have to try.)
Roger: Lil lady, don't be so stiff.
Alfons: We're just going to investigate the situation, so there won't be any bloodshed.
... I'm sure of it.
Elbert: ..........
Kate: Thank you for your concern, Roger, Alfons.
(That's right... if my job is to record the sins of the "cursed," I need to know about their "curse.")
Kate: May I ask what kind of "curse" you all have...?
Alfons: Hehe, Miss Robin is quite the eager learner.
Alfons: Lord Elbert is the "Greedy Queen," Roger is the "Betrayer's Huntsman," and I am cursed by the "Mirror."
Kate: Queen, Huntsman, Mirror...
Alfons: Is it fate that those who appear in the same fairy tale should meet?
Roger: Haha. Team Snow White, eh?
Alfons: I find it very unpleasant to be lumped in with you.
Roger: Don't say that. Right, lil lady?
Kate: A-ahaha. Yes...
The two of them speak to me in a friendly manner.
I'm grateful for their kindness, but I can't help but force a smile.
(It's a fact that these people commit sins on a daily basis...)
(No matter what, I'm scared to look them in the eye and talk)
Elbert: ...What's wrong?
Kate: ...Huh?
Elbert: You stopped walking.
Lord Elbert's words made me realize that I had unknowingly created distance between myself and the others.
Except for Lord Elbert, who stopped for me, the other two kept walking ahead.
Elbert: ...Are you alright?
Kate: I'm sorry, I was spacing out...! I was lost in thought.
Elbert: I see. ...Be careful not to get lost.
Just as I was about to start walking again--
Elbert: ....!
A passerby bumped into Elbert.
Drunk Man: Hmm? What's this? A pretty boy, huh?
The man, barely able to stand upright, was clearly drunk.
Elbert: ........
Drunk Man: Let's have a drink, pretty boy. Your treat. Hahahaha!
Elbert: ...I'm sorry. I'm in a hurry.
Drunk Man: Oh? What's this? You wanna get that pretty face messed up?
Elbert was surprisingly unresisting as the drunk man clung to him.
(Something seems rather ominous...should I call Roger and Alfons back?)
Kate: U-Um...!
The next moment, anxiety and questions swirled in my head.
Drunk Man: Ugh...sob...why did you leave me...Eliza...sob...
Kate: ...Huh?
The man who was clinging to Elbert suddenly collapsed on the spot, crying.
(Why all of a sudden...?)
Alfons: What a ridiculous ability, as always.
Alfons, who had somehow turned back, approached Elbert and laughed, looking highly amused.
Kate: A ridiculous ability...you mean, Lord Elbert's?
Alfons: Yes. It awakens the saddest memories of the person whose shadow he steps on.
Alfons: In other words, it makes the person incredibly depressed and downcast.
Roger: The ability works better on people with painful experiences, but the difficulty lies in choosing the right target.
Kate: Downcast...
I stared at the man who still couldn't stand up, just crying on the roadside like a child.
(This is Lord Elbert's power.)
Having just witnessed William's devastating power that could force people to commit suicide, it seemed like a very small power.
But--.
Elbert: ...I'm in a hurry. ...I'm sorry.
Elbert, who had used that seemingly trivial power on the drunk man, looked sad, as if he had committed some cruel sin.
(...That's a bit unexpected.)
(I wonder if the cursed people aren't used to using their powers either.)
Elbert: ...Let's go.
As we passed each other, Elbert's hair gleamed under the streetlights.
I was unconsciously captivated by his golden hair flowing in the night breeze and his melancholic profile.
(...What a beautiful person.)
His beauty was so overwhelming that I momentarily forgot the fear I had for the upcoming mission.
Alfons: Now, it was the alley ahead, wasn't it? The inn we were aiming for.
Elbert: Yes.
It was Roger who tilted his head, looking at the dimly lit alley.
Roger: Something's strange. It should have been a cheap inn with quite a few guests.
Roger: ...There's only one heartbeat.
Kate: A heartbeat...?
Even if I strain my ears, all I can hear is the faint sound of the wind.
Alfons: Exceptional hearing is this man's ability.
Roger: Within a distance of about 100 yards, I can accurately tell who is where without even looking.
Kate: That's amazing... But does that mean there's only one person at the inn?
Roger: Well, that's what it comes down to.
Kate: How could that be...?
Alfons: There's only one way to find out.
As we turned the corner into the alley where the back entrance of the inn was located--
(...!!)
--a gruesome scene unfolded before us.
Several blood-soaked people were lying in the alley.
A vast expanse of blood stretched across the hallway, visible through the open back door of the inn.
Kate: ...Ah--
My instincts were screaming at me to run away.
But my feet were frozen in place, as if glued to the ground.
At that moment--
I was pulled back forcefully, and the blood-stained scene vanished.
Kate: ...!?
My cheek was pressed against a soft, high-quality fabric.
(A blue cravat.)
Kate: Lord Elbert...?
I finally realized Elbert was holding me and tried to look up, but his hand was stronger, restraining my movement.
Elbert: ––You don't need to see.
(Huh...?)
Elbert: ...Sad memories can easily kill you.
Elbert: You don't need to see.
A terribly sad voice whispered in my ear.
Elbert: You...have nothing to do with what's happening here.
Elbert: ...You don't have to carry burdens that you don't need to.
(Elbert...)
His voice was almost like a prayer.
I should be feeling protected by his arms, holding my head tightly, but for some reason, I felt like I was being clung to, and I hesitated to resist.
(Elbert...it's as if he's afraid of something.)
Roger: This is...the inn's employee and a guest.
Alfons: Judging by their clothes, there's no mistake.
As I listened to the two of them surveying the scene, still held in Elbert's embrace--
???: ...Ugh...sob...
(! A voice just now...!)
Roger's words, "There's only one heartbeat," came back to me.
Kate: E-Excuse me...!
Elbert: ....!
I instinctively pushed back against Elbert's chest and looked up.
As I glanced around, I could see a woman collapsed at the corner of the alley, faintly moving.
(It's her...!)
Kate: Are you alright...!?
Roger: She's not dead yet, but she's in danger.
Roger, who had rushed to her before me, frowned and coughed.
Roger: She needs immediate treatment. We need to get her to a nearby hospital--
Roger: .....!
Kate: Roger? What's wrong?
Roger: The police are coming. Two...no, three of them.
(Police...?)
Alfons: Then, there's no point in staying here. Let's get out of here.
(What!? )
Kate: What about this woman--?
Roger: Our mission is confidential. We have no choice but to hide for now.
Seeing his frustrated profile, I knew Roger didn't want this either, and I swallowed my protest.
(But what if the police don't notice her...?)
I quickly took out my handkerchief and hooked it onto the lamp directly above her.
(This shouldn't be enough to identify me. I hope they notice her soon...)
Praying for her safety, I followed the three of them into hiding.
-
After observing from a short distance for a while--
We saw the woman from earlier being quickly taken away by the police who had arrived.
Kate: ...Thank goodness...
(...I hope she's alright.)
Elbert: ..............
-
--That day's investigation had to be cut short, and we returned to the castle.
But I couldn't eat the food brought to my room, nor could I sleep...
To change my mood, I was walking alone in the vast garden.
(Tonight, I only witnessed the aftermath of someone committing a crime.)
(But someday, I might see such a scene created by the hands of Crown.)
(To write about that... Can I do it?)
While thinking about such things, I was walking along the path--
(...Elbert?)
I found Elbert, gazing absentmindedly at the flowers.
Bathed in the faint moonlight like a veil, his figure was like a painting, and I was once again captivated.
Elbert: Hmm...oh...it's you. Good evening.
Kate: Good evening, Lord Elbert...
Elbert seemed to sense something from my face and tilted his head melancholically.
Elbert: ...Can't sleep?
Kate: ...Yes. So I'm taking a walk to change my mood.
Elbert: I see...
Kate: What are you doing here, Lord Elbert?
Elbert: Me too...something like that. I'm a light sleeper by nature.
Kate: I see...
Elbert: So...I can at least keep you company while you can't sleep.
Kate: .......!
His gentle, comforting words eased my mind.
(If it were last night, I might have been wary of this kindness and declined...)
Kate: ...Thank you.
Aware of my fading wariness, I took a step closer to Elbert.
(That's right...I haven't properly thanked him for earlier.)
Kate: Thank you for protecting me earlier.
Elbert: ...No. ...In the end, I showed you a cruel sight.
Kate: I wanted to see it. Don't worry about it.
I tried to sound cheerful, but Elbert looked at me and narrowed his eyes as if in pain.
Elbert: If you hadn't been taken to that place...you wouldn't have tried to see it.
Elbert: You're different from us. ...You shouldn't have come here.
Elbert: ...Sin doesn't suit you.
Elbert's emotions don't show much on the surface. Even so...
In his eyes, like the depths of a deep sea, I could see pure compassion, without a trace of cloudiness.
(You are the one who doesn't suit sin.)
At that time--
Even though there were no knives or bullets pointed at me, and there was no danger to my life, he tried to protect me.
(Surely...so that my heart wouldn't be hurt by the cruel sight.)
(The strength of his arms at that time.)
(It was as if he was afraid of me getting hurt.)
(If he were someone who felt nothing about that scene, he surely wouldn't have done that.)
I realized again the obvious fact that the people of Crown, just like me, feel fear, anxiety, and sadness.
Kate: You're kind, Lord Elbert.
Elbert: ...That's not true.
To value people's feelings. That was my goal in life.
(I chose the job of a mail carrier for that reason.)
(No matter what sins Elbert and the others may commit, I want to understand their feelings and--)
Kate: ...Thank you for your concern.
Kate: But this time, you don't have to protect me.
Elbert: ...Why?
Kate: I may learn many things that I'd be happier not knowing.
Kate: But I want to know...what you all are thinking, as you face those things.
I smiled, wanting to respond to Elbert's kindness in some way--
Elbert: .............
Elbert stared at me without blinking.
(...?)
His gaze was unusually intense, and I suddenly felt uneasy.
(Oh...was it rude of me to say "you don't have to protect me" when he's worried about me?)
His already overwhelming beauty seemed to become even more intimidating when he fell silent, and I unconsciously held my breath.
Kate: Um...
Elbert: ...Stay still.
Suddenly closing the distance between us, Elbert gently stroked my hair.
Elbert: ...There was a flower petal in your hair.
Kate: ...Oh.
Kate: Thank you...
(...I see. He was just looking at the flower petal.)
(That's good...)
Calming my racing heart, I quietly moved away from Elbert.
Kate: Well then, excuse me. I should get some sleep for tomorrow.
Elbert: .........Can you sleep?
Kate: Yes, thanks to you, Lord Elbert.
Elbert: I see...that's good.
Elbert: ...Good night, Kate.
Kate: Good night, Lord Elbert.
(...I wonder why.)
(I can't get Elbert's gaze from earlier out of my head...)
His deep blue eyes were burned into the back of my eyelids.
Even after I turned away, it felt like his gaze was following me from behind--
My chest felt strangely uneasy.
-
The next morning, my steps towards the dining hall were lighter than yesterday.
Kate: Good morning.
William: Good morning. ...You look well this morning.
Roger: See? She came, didn't she?
Alfons: I guess I lost the bet.
Kate: W-Were you betting on that...?
Alfons: Yes. I bet that you would be tearing up curtains and tying them together to escape through the window by now.
(He thought I'd be escaping...)
Liam: This morning, we have Victor's special extra buttery scones! Kate, are you hungry?
Kate: Yes! I missed dinner yesterday, so I'm starving.
Alfons: Hehe, you're surprisingly resilient.
(I'm still a little nervous...but I think I can manage.)
This morning, after deciding to face their feelings, I was able to look at everyone's faces more directly than yesterday.
As I started eating, talking with everyone, Elbert stared at me intently.
Elbert: ...Al, is she beautiful?
Alfons: No, not at all?
Elbert: ..............Is that so?
Alfons: ...........
Alfons: This could be a bit...troublesome.
.
.
.
.
.
Chapter 2
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#ikemen series#cybird#cybird otome#cybird ikemen#ikemen villains#ikevil translations#elbert greetia#elbert greetia translations#elbert greetia main story translation#elbert greetia main route translation
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As Ladybug, Marinette wasn't sensitive to the cold, but she still shuddered as the sun made way for the moon. Patrol had been particularly exhausting this time around, but now she was free to sit atop the Eiffel Tower with her partner, Viperion, and stare down at the city below.
“Ugh!” She tipped her head back and groaned. ���I'm gonna be feeling all that in the morning. You?”
He chuckled, massaging one of his shoulders. “Definitely. I hope you don't have anything important to do tomorrow.”
“Nothing physical,” she replied, grateful for that fact, ”but I can't wait to get home and relax.”
“Me too—” Viperion stopped short, covering his mouth with a hand as he stared off at the sky.
Ladybug squinted at him, concerned. “Everything okay?”
“Yeah,” he replied. “I was supposed to get groceries today, but...”
“Patrol happened. Trust me, I get it.” Frowning, she asked, “So you don't have any food at home?”
“I have food,” he insisted, though in typical Viperion fashion of reassuring her first and thinking later. “...Fruit, vegetables...”
“That's not dinner,” she chided.
She considered for a moment that she was crossing a line, but they had always cared for each other. In-between fights, interviews, and all other matters, they asked vaguely about the other's personal lives, just deep enough to be considerate but not so much that they were giving away any important details that might reveal their identities. It was a vital part of bonding as a team, in their minds.
“...Listen,” she began, unable to let the matter go after he'd worked so hard alongside her that day, “what if you had dinner with me?”
He hummed, not entirely resistant to the idea but asking the obvious, “How are you going to do that without me knowing anything?”
She rubbed her cheek, thinking hard about it. She knew intuitively that it couldn't have been impossible to have dinner with him without risk involved, but leaving and then coming back with food seemed improper.
It did, however, give her a very funny mental image of her leaping across rooftops with a plate and silverware in her hands.
The biggest problem would be if they'd known each other in real life. Even disregarding her parents showing up to Viperion and Ladybug hanging out in her room, he'd be seeing where she lived and—
...Seeing.
“Ahah!” she exclaimed, grinning to herself as she grabbed the yoyo at her waist. She saw Viperion lean towards her curiously as she dug around inside the magical compartment, brushing aside object after object until she felt the one she wanted.
She made a mental note to talk to Tikki about the lack of advancement in something so magical, then managed to grab what she wanted and pulled it out: a long, red scarf.
She put her yoyo back, then grabbed both ends of the scarf and stretched it, staring at Viperion with purpose. “Do you trust me?”
“Always.”
—————
Carrying Viperion into the little studio of sorts was quite the task, but compared to dealing with whatever nonsense Hawk Moth threw their way, it was nothing. Closing the window behind her, she let Viperion down from her back and checked his face, reaching around to confirm that the knot on the scarf was still tight.
“How's it feel?”
“That's the third time you asked,” he noted with amusement. “It feels soft, and I can't see a thing.”
“Perfect!” She beamed. Extending a hand out to him, she offered, “Here, I'll lead you to the couch.
He reached out, missing on the first attempt, but she caught his hand and slowly took him across the floor, past the room they were in then into another.
“...It's quiet.” There was a hint of worry in his voice. “I hope you don't live alone.”
He was careful to phrase it as a statement rather than a question. Though they hadn't told each other personal details, it was obvious that they were both somewhere in their teens, too young to live on their own.
“Ahh, don't worry about it,” she responded easily. “Let's just call this the Ladybunker and leave it at that.”
It was the only real way she could describe it without outing herself. In reality, Jagged Stone had given her the space to work, far away from the bakery and most things that would serve as a distraction. At the time, she'd thought it was too generous a gift, but now she was feeling grateful for it.
Guiding Viperion to the couch, she gave him a second to bump it with his heel so he could gauge its position, then she helped him sit down. Trusting him, wholly and completely, she whispered, “Tikki, detransform me.”
She shut her eyes against the light, releasing Viperion's hand and taking a step back. When she was fully detransformed, Tikki was hovering in front of her, wide eyes swapping back and forth from her to Viperion.
“L-Ladybug! Why is he here?”
“I invited him here to eat. He's not going to look,” Marinette told her. “If you're worried, you can watch him.”
She didn't bother pointing out that it was showing a lack of trust to do so, knowing that Tikki already knew that.
Turning her attention back to Viperion, she wondered, “You're not going to be bored, are you? There's a TV if you...”
He shook his head. “I'll be alright. I can still help you too.” He reached behind him, retrieving the lyre at his back with a playful smile. “I'll set the mood for cooking.”
She snorted, but silently accepted the offer and turned around. She took one step, then a second step, but heard the plucking of a string on the second and another on the third.
He was playing a melody to her footsteps.
Stopping to face him, she pretended to glare even whilst failing to hold back her smile. He couldn't see it, but he smiled back, wholly aware of the reaction he was getting.
Rolling her eyes fondly, she departed for the kitchen and accepted the happy beats playing along to her walking. Tikki flew behind her at first, hesitated, then decided to stay somewhere between where Marinette and Viperion were, unsure of how to handle the situation.
Marinette took her time looking through each of the cupboards, knowing from the last time she was there that there'd be enough food for dinner yet unsure how of what to put together. She didn't consider herself a great cook, but she could certainly make something to satisfy a couple of teenagers whose meals consisted of cafeteria food and whatever they could manage to eat when they weren't busy doing hero work.
The ingredients available to her were mostly ones that wouldn't expire quickly, such as canned tomatoes instead of fresh, which was simply how it had to be when she couldn't guarantee when she'd have time to visit. Besides, fresh didn't always mean better, she reasoned like a poor college student in training.
She reached for a box of dried spaghetti noodles, then froze as something occurred to her. Turning her head to make sure her voice would project properly, she called out, “Viperion! Do you have any aller—“ She stopped short, debating if allergies would be too much information, then changed it to, “Is there anything you wouldn't want to eat?”
Rather than responding with words, the tune he'd been playing changed to something light, but lower-pitched than before. In other words, no.
Giggling to herself, she set the box of pasta on the counter and went about her search for sauce and anything else that might go well with it.
—————
Marinette honestly wouldn't have put it past her luck to somehow burn pasta of all things, yet getting the meal together went pleasantly well. Sure, she may have overshadowed the noodles with everything else she added to it - courtesy of a frozen bag of mixed vegetables, complete with onions and peppers - then oversauced the whole dish in a bit of miscalculation on her part, but it was far better than whatever Viperion would've had back at his house.
She thought better of only putting two plates together, remembering Tikki and pulling out a bowl to put some chocolate ice cream into. Despite being such a stickler for rules, Tikki was surprisingly easy to placate when sweets were involved.
Once she had the ice cream neatly scooped into the bowl, topped with a tiny spoon that even a kwami could manage, Marinette called Tikki out. Taking the two heaping plates of pasta in her arms, she passed by her kwami and headed back out to Viperion, safe in the knowledge that neither of them would be bothered by the world for a few precious minutes.
He was still playing his lyre, though only long enough to bring the music to a natural end. Directing his head towards the plates of food, he complimented, "It smells good."
"It helped that I only had to worry about the smell and taste," she said jokingly. "This could be the worst-looking dish you've ever had and you'll never know."
He put his lyre down, holding his hands out expectantly. "I'm sure it's not."
Slowly, she gave him the plate and sat next to him to get comfortable. While she couldn't tell him so, he was the first guest she'd ever brought there and she was glad it was him despite the invite having only been due to his lack of dinner. It was a shame, she felt, that they couldn't just do this all the time.
She was midway through her first bite of food when she noticed the inevitable issue Viperion was having. Basic awareness and feeling let him stab at the food, swirl the spaghetti using his fork, and lift it to his mouth, but it was uncertain from there. The food would bump just a little off from his lips, or one of the vegetables would fall off without him noticing, or he'd go in for another bite and get an awkward clink from the fork touching a bare part of the plate.
He didn't appear to mind, but it wouldn't be viable for the whole meal.
Setting her plate to her side, Marinette asked hesitantly, “Um... could I feed you?”
There was another clink, this time from his surprise at the sudden offer. He turned his head towards her and she could only imagine what the unseen part of his face must've looked like.
“You sure?”
All things considered, it was a promising reaction, as he didn't appear disgusted by the idea. She ran with it eagerly, replying, “Yeah! I invited you here, so it's my responsibility. What'll Paris think if they hear that the great hero Viperion kept dropping his food?”
His lips twitched into a smile at that. He gave in without any further argument, turning himself towards her and passing her his plate and fork. “Sorry I can't help with the dishes.”
She scoffed, “It's not that much. Now hush and open your mouth.”
He giggled, leaning in and obeying the playful order. Marinette fidgeted for a moment with his fork in her hand, noting that it was still warm from his touch, then twirled some spaghetti and made sure to get some of the other ingredients on top before raising it to his mouth.
A few noodles hung down from the fork, but it just made it all the easier for Viperion to tell when she'd gotten the food in his mouth. His lips clamped down, a soft “mm,” emanating from the back of his throat that she couldn't recall him making when he'd been feeding himself. She could feel the movement at the unseen end of the fork as took the food off of it with his tongue and teeth, even pulling back with a lick of his lips.
“It's really good,” he whispered. “You're a great cook.”
Marinette swallowed, suddenly realizing the kind of situation she was in. She'd genuinely invited him there as one partner-in-crime-fighting looking out for the other, but she hadn't known it would turn out to be so domestic. There they were, two teenagers all alone and having dinner that she made for them. Barring the makeshift blindfold and Viperion's bodysuit, it would've looked like a normal date between a couple.
“Ah... thanks,” she uttered. Part of her wanted to reject the compliment and point out all the obvious mistakes she'd made, but she couldn't bring herself to do it when he smiled at her like that.
This was dangerous, at least going off of what her heart was trying to communicate to her, but she was the one who'd offered to feed him, so she continued. It wasn't that she was unaware of how she felt about Viperion, but usually it could be ignored under the guise of worrying about akuma or looking out for danger on patrol. She didn't have any such excuse when they were having such a nice, quiet moment together.
A few minutes passed, Marinette swapping between feeding Viperion and feeding herself. She would've been perfectly willing to heat up her food later, but he'd insisted that she eat too, leading to her working out how to feed him with one hand and herself with the other. Most distracting of all was when she didn't swirl the spaghetti quite right and Viperion would slurp the loose-hanging noodles into his mouth with the rest of them.
It almost made it a relief when she looked down and saw that there wasn't any food left on his plate. She still had a couple bites' worth on her own, but they had fairly decisively finished having dinner together. Not wanting to delay him longer than needed since he was already done, she turned briefly to her plate to eat the remaining noodles, careful not to scarf them down or risk him hearing and gently scolding her for it.
As she stacked the plates and silverware on top of each other, she took one last glance at him, stopping short of heading off for the sink when she noticed a bit of sauce lingering on his face. It was right below his lips, just out of range for his tongue.
"Oh, you got..." She went to point, but remembered that he couldn't see and told him, "I'll get it."
She supposed she could've just went to grab a paper towel, tried to instruct him on the specific spot, or took his hand to show him physically where he needed to wipe away at, but she did none of those. Perhaps it was because she was already about to go back to the kitchen where she could've washed her hands, but she reached up to him, using the back of two bent fingers to wipe away the sauce on his face.
Unexpectedly, Viperion visibly froze, sucking in a breath and holding it in. Marinette pulled back, puzzled by the reaction, especially from someone who was typically so composed.
A few seconds passed before he let out the air in one exhale, the portion of his cheeks that she could see flushing a light pink. Faintly embarrassed, he said, "Sorry. I thought it was... something else."
Something else?
Marinette stared down at the sauce on her fingers, parsing together what he could've meant by that. She'd grant that he couldn't see, but all she'd done was touch near his lips to—
Ah.
She matched his blush, the mental image burning its way into her mind. She brought her hand up to cover her mouth, thoughts racing to process that Viperion would even think about her kissing him. Did that mean it was something he would've considered, or hoped for?
“...You didn't pull away,” she noted, mostly to herself. She chewed at her bottom lip, debating on what she should do next. They were heroes, she reminded herself, but they were also teenagers and there was definitely something in the air that wasn't coming from just her.
Slowly, she leaned forward, placing a hand delicately on Viperion's shoulder and licking the sauce from her other before bringing her face a few inches in front of his. With her heart pounding in her ears, she experimentally let out a breath, ensuring he knew what was in front of him this time.
The reaction was immediate. Viperion's arm snagged her waist, Marinette gasping inaudibly as he pulled her in and took hold of her chin. She shuddered as his thumb brushed just underneath her lips, him gauging their exact position before tilting his head.
Then, he pulled her in and kissed her. She squeaked in delight, grabbing onto his other shoulder too and following his movements to bring her onto his lap without breaking the kiss. The hand behind her gently massaged her back, working at the knots that had accumulated over the course of patrol, and she repaid the favor by kneading his shoulders.
They might've spent longer tasting each other rather than her food, and she blushed at the loud clicking noise when they pulled apart, taking solace in that he had the exact same face as her. She hugged him, wrapping her arms around him and burying her face in the crook of his neck.
They didn't talk about what had happened for the time being, lost in thoughts of what ifs and what it meant for their partnership, but she secretly hoped that he might want to join her for dinner again.
Especially if there'd be another kiss for dessert.
#queuekanette#lukaneventte: No Context November#Flower Arrangement Shipping#Pro LukaMari#Viperbug#Vipernette
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Oohhh a French speaking AFTG fan!
Can I ask what’s the general opinion on the Marseille accent? What do Canadians think of it? Is it fancy? Or rough?
ouhh what a question anon! i'm tagging @givemethedamnflowers so she can help me out too if u want to <3
also i don't speak for all Franco Canadians / Québécois. fiy. ya know.
as a Québécoise first and foremost (Canadian comes 2nd in how i view my identity), and as someone WHO HAS A MOREAU FROM MARSEILLES in my close family, i love the accent. to me it's somehow much less grating than the Parisian accent (not the international French accent, that one's ok) despite being much more pronounced and how do you say... quirky? not weird, but like it's definitely peculiar. special! i like it a lot. it also makes me love Jean Moreau even more because it adds character, an edge, another area of fondness. i personally think it's very easy to spot, but contrary to the north of France, it's easier to understand.
i would say the most northern accents are much rougher, more difficult to understand than Marseilles or Paris, also because of the disparity in colloquialisms and regional expressions. but i do love them so. Bourgogne?? Normandie?? oh how lovely. and then down down down down south, neighbor to Marseilles, l'Occitanie (a fave)!!! oh and la Corse!!! so so beautiful to me. music to my ears. maybe bc, as Québécoise, like i said, i feel a little kinship with those regions' accents, bc the Paris/Île-de-France spit upon our accents as shitty, ridiculous, "not real French" or generally make fun of us, like we're somehow less smart bc of the way we pronounce things and speak with our accent. in my experience! and trust me, i've had a lottttttt of 'em. so the little scene where Jean keeps being annoyed by Thea calling him 'Paris' when he's from Marseilles? ACCURATE & GOLDEN! made me smile.
that being said, as it has been discussed many many times in the fandom, characters like Neil, Kevin and Jean, and even Andrew and Nicky, have such wild backgrounds, with how much they move around geographically + their mixed heritage, that all of them must have unique accents you can't really pin down. Jean left Marseilles at 14, was homeschooled, then forced to learn Japanese then English, in West Virginia, from native Japanese speakers. he doesn't have the Marseilles slang, the refs; his French is stuck at that level and it can't progress, and he also probably loses a lot of it, breaking down over time. finding his words must be a a nightmare. imagine trying to translate a word that isn't even considered French nor translatable outside of Marseilles' region!!! also, how old were his parents? what generation of slang has he picked up by default? or was he, sadly, taught international French?
SO MANY QUESTIONS! UGH! aftg & languages, French specifically, give me a headache (and heartache) every time.
i would say, watch films and series! please! from every part of the Francophonie around the world! Belgium, Louisiana Cajun, Acadia, Québec, Marseilles, Niger... it's a beautiful language, despite his devastating shameful hand in colonization and racism. the way the people forced to learn and speak it to survive have all found ways to make it theirs in infinite ways that help the language evolve and become richer. French is as much theirs now, if not more. French is much more that than the Republic. French is not Paris.
thank you again anon for allowing me to go off on a tangent, and apologies if there are any mistakes, misinformation or harmful things. please let me know kindly and i'll own to it and correct anything that needs correcting!
#pls don't set a bounty on my head#i'm so sorry for this long ass response#my asks#aftg asks#aftg & french#jean moreau#kevin day#aftg#all for the game#the foxhole court#the sunshine court#neil josten#andrew minyard#nicky hemmick
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Hello my wonderful fandom :) Thank you for all your lovely comments on me being delayed. Not my usual M.O. but I definitely needed the extra time to process. I was GUTTED and absolutely wrecked. Poor D had to deal with my panic spiral for most of Wednesday. (love you lol) I'll be honest I'm still little shook up and sad. Kinda grateful for the 3 week break tbh between episodes. This was a gut punch I wasn't in the least expecting. Hoping we'll get a S7 announcement during this hiatus. *fingers crossed* Get it together ABC. This took me awhile to unpack emotionally so thank you all again for being so patient.
So I want to preface this post. There will be ZERO And I mean ZERO bashing of Tim in this review from me. Would appreciate that in comments as well. I love conversation you know I love comments. What I don't like is hate being spread. Also nothing on Eric either. I've also seen this which is utter madness. Don't touch our captain. Man loves this fandom so much. Deserves respect. If you came to this review for either of those things please promptly exit stage left. I mean that in the kindest way possible but I love Tim/Eric so it's a non starter with me.
I’ve never so deeply related with a character in all my life as I have with Tim Bradford. I’ll be dissecting this ep to best of my ability. I love both these characters so very much. Why I was knocked out for a couple days before could tackle this. I imagine my thoughts will change when I do my summer in depth one. When we have the rest of the season in pocket. I have to say this won't be mini at all. LOL So lets get rid of that concept right now ha I can't be mini with this ep. I am not brief so thanks for reading. Also hats off to Eric my god he was incredible in this episode. Melissa too killing me left, right and center you two. Let us get started.
6x06 Secret and Lies.
Poor Lucy looks like me when I’m stressed and drained af. Tamara asking how stressed she currently is? Lucy answering 19.....She looks like a 19 if not worse tbh. This is probably the most time they've spent apart since they got together. Basically living together at this point let's be honest. Other than 6x01 they haven't really spent time apart aside from that UC op in 5x21. *sigh*
Tamara asking if Tim is still ghosting her? Lucy trying so hard to keep it together with her answer. My heart. What a wreck she is without Tim. Do love that we get to see her pin-up board btw. Good shot of her room we don’t usually get. That cupcake poster I love it so much. Although now it makes me sad...
Lucy asking what's wrong? Tamara telling her she wants to move out with some friends from school. Crap. Her moving is the last thing she needs…. But it's good for her even though the idea makes me sad. End of an era. Lucy is right she needs to live with people her own age. Doesn’t make it hurt less though. This is a ROUGH season for Lucy my god. The hits keep coming for our girl and I wanna hug her. Shield her somehow....
Lucy touching near her tattoo when she reaches Angela. (Mini gut punch.) I do love her coming to Angela about this. If there is anyone who knows Tim like she does it's Angela. Does help she finds his behavior alarming too. I mean of course she does. You can see the immediate worry. The empathy she has for Lucy is there but she holds her cards close in her advice. Telling her to trust him even though it's literally killing her. Not the council Lucy needed to hear or was looking for.
Lucy wanted more action than 'Just wait and trust him.' She has been trusting him but she’s so insanely worried. Going out of her mind with anxiety for her person. It's exuding out of of her and she looks like she wants to cry…Ugh me too Lucy. I’m an empath and an anxious one at that. I would be going out of my mind too…. Angela looks worried as hell though. Even though she isn't conveying that to Lucy at this point. Breaking my heart as she takes off from their convo. Because if she doesn't she'll lose it right then and there.
God I love Angela Lopez. First off well done on tracking him down. She's just a bad ass. I mean it's one of the reason's Lucy reached out to her tbh. Just gets into his car, drinking his soda, calling him out right away. I love her reasoning saying she can live off Wesley’s trust fund. Lmao. Doesn’t matter as much if she get's fired. 'Wine o'clock.' for her. Gotta love the confidence. I truly hope we get more Tim/Angela scenes the rest of this season. I always adore their dynamic.
Tim is sold on her reasoning and starts to explain the current situation he's trapped in. Angela taking it all in and assessing everything as he explains. Once Tim has succinctly summed up his current predicament Angela's reply is the best. 'I’m in.' lmao I love this woman. ‘I got your back boo.’ That she does. In more ways than he even realizes at this point.
Gotta commend Angela calling him out for walking away from Lucy. Not only that but his job to arrest a guy hasn’t thought of in a decade…. Ain’t no one better than her to be there to call him out his crap right now. Not only that but to really dig deep. To know this is far more than what he's sharing. This is why Angela is an incredible detective rooting things out like this. Saying this is more than just protecting Lucy. Her intuition is out of this world.
I mean she's not wrong. Lucy would understand if it was just about the benefits. She would be proud really. Thing is it's about protecting himself too. Which really just scratches the surface of why he is doing this. Tim knows he's caught even if he shrugs it off. She has him dead to rights and he knows it. 'I’m your BFF. I know you.' Ha it’s true whether you like it or not Timothy…Just like Lucy she has your number.
Angela giving him crap with how they're following Ray. Worried he isn't being smart about this. This is so unlike him to be this sloppy and unfocused. She was right he was tailing too close… Ray catches on to their tail quickly. When he scanned the vehicle made me so nervous. Doing it while he's taunting Tim. He's so detail oriented blows my mind Tim let that get by him. This SL gave me such MASSIVE anxiety as I watched it. Oh my lord.
The minute they get back to Angela's place she calls him out once again. Asking why he thinks this is ALL his fault? Tim shrugs it off and she refuses to take that as his final answer. Of course Angela was right there is far more to this story. Tim finally opens up to her about what happened. He had been leading his squadron for some time. Looking to move up to Sergeant.
The catch was he couldn’t be promoted if there was rampant criminality in his unit. Ray clearly was in the way of him moving up. Tim figured he could keep it within his unit if they went after him.. Oh Tim…. It was an unsanctioned mission too. Thinking if he could accomplish this would be easy fast track to his promotion.
Kills me to know he was there during the air strike ugh… Details missing from the last episode. The Humvee saved him and Mark but not his other men… I can't imagine what Tim felt in that moment. The immense amount of guilt laid on his soul from here on out. I mean it makes sense why he never left patrol before Lucy. The last time he tried to advance his career this happened. My broken boy.
Eric CRUSHES this scene. I wanna cry. My poor Timothy. He was more focused more on his career than his oath...Got two of his men killed. My damn heart. He’s so ashamed of himself. The way he points at himself when he says 'leadership.' I knew his military past would be dark but holy crap. I wanted more of his backstory and they delivered that in spades. What a gut punch this had to be for him. No doubt his men were loyal af to him. Would've followed him anywhere and did.
He carries leading those men to their deaths because they followed his leadership. Oof. That is quite the weight to keep on your soul. Also gives us insight to why he shoulders everything. Even when he doesn't have to. Punishing himself for past transgressions such as this. I'm sure when we get to the other side of this season, I will have an even deeper respect for the writers going into his backstory like this. Giving us even more insight to this man.
This hurts so good to get this kind of info. I have no doubt that’s why he shut Lucy out. The shame he feels is overwhelming. I totally get it. Nothing scarier than someone knowing your darkest secrets. Not only that but worrying they’ll think less of you due to it. Tim already struggles with self loathing. Been a theme for him his entire arc on this series. Something I've touched on a lot. This is truly bringing that to light in the most painful way.
We see Ray scanned Tim's car in order to gain access to it. To check his GPS to see where he's been. How he's been tracking him. When he scrolls down to Lucy's address. Made my stomach sink. Legit felt sick to my stomach....
I do love Lucy coming home and having Tamara there. Saying she ordered pizza for them. This is exactly what she needs. Do you really have to go Tamara? I wonder if she'll delay leaving now after this ep. There is a knock at the door and of course it's not the pizza. It's Ray. Hair's on the back of my neck stood up from the moment he entered that apt.
I know Melissa stated in her interview she was nervous about this scene. That she came off awkward in her anger. You are incorrect madam. Holy hell Lucy is a BAMF. Telling him the only call she's gonna make is for the ambulance. Because when she's done with him he's going to need it to wheel him out. Holds her ground like the confident bad ass we've all loved seeing her become.
Lucy calling him shaking and demanding where he was. Ooh lord hell fire coming with her through that front door. I love Angela grabbing Tamara to another room. Like let's go mom and dad are about to have a big blow out. Let's give them some space...
Tim asking if she's ok? Truly concerned but Lucy isn't having ANY of it. 'Do I look ok?' Damn no she doesn't....Ripping into him saying how that creep could've showed up when she wasn't there. Lucy is not wrong....Oh my lord I’ve never seen her so damn mad. She is RAGING at him and rightfully so. Her home was violated, Tamara was put in danger and threatened. All because Tim was trying to protect her. phew.
Tim FINALLY concedes to telling her something. It only seems to enrage her more. She is literally vibrating with anger in this scene with him. The more he tells her the more it doesn't explain why he left her in the dark. Lucy begging him to read her in. I mean she has earned that my love. ..Telling him to stop protecting her. Gah Tim is a deep loyalist who would protect anyone he loves even if it's not the right thing. His reply is a reflection of that.
'I can't. I won't.' He's so driven to keep her safe. His instinct is to protect her but doesn't see he's hurting her in the process. I knew she was going to be pissed he let Angela in and not her. But Tim was right she has a lot less to lose. Which doesn't seem pertinent in this moment...I do love her placing her hands on his when she also replies. 'I can't. I won't.'
Mirroring his words from moments ago. Just like he will never stop protecting her. Lucy will never stop fighting for him or longing to help him. That man is her entire world. The most important person in her life. It makes perfect sense she would help with this. Career be damned. I mean she risked her career to get him a shot at Metro. Of course she would do the same thing in order to shoulder his burden with him.
Love her standing her ground in this moment. Like damnit I love you and you are going to let me in. Whether you like it or not I am here and I'm going to help. If this wasn't a reflection of the communication problems that still painfully exist between them I don't know what is. I mean she tried to be patient and trust him. But honestly he needed this kick in the ass to let her in. Which is a problem. Lucy needs to be the first person he goes to. It shouldn't have to come to this. *sigh*
Their OP goes off without a hitch. Except Ray saying he was going to be an air strike on Tim's life.... God I had no idea as I was watching that scene how true it would be. Tim gets his interview and lies to protect Angela and Lucy. While keeping his own job intact as well. Also welcome back to Jackson’s dad. Hello there Percy. This is not how I wanted to see him again.
But he is IA him returning was never gonna be a good thing tbh in a post Jackson world. Regardless it was nice to see him again. The scene is Grey's office is ROUGH. Never seen Wade so disappointed in Tim. It hurts to watch. Just like this entire gut punch of an episode. Tim is just standing there in utter shame of everything. Ashamed Wade is looking at him like this.
Kills me Grey has to inform Pine of what he did. It makes sense he has to but damn that sucks. The amount of respect Tim has for Wade is immense. To watch him tear Tim apart and just stand there like a puppy being scolded hurts my soul. Especially when he tries to fight Pine knowing. Just dismissing him without further comment or argument...
So I will say this and it's not at all fair to Lucy that I thought this I'm sure. But I felt like if there was gonna be a breakup it would be coming from her. Not Tim in this moment. That's the part of this moment that really knocked the wind out of me. She had every damn right to be the one too btw. Instead she is there waiting for him with open arms. Honestly I took a breath for the first time this entire episode when she welcomed him in.
Wrapping him up in her arms. Encasing him, rubbing his back, her fingers in his hair. Gently cradling him against her. I thought ok maybe we'll be alright. Since Lucy isn't nearly as angry as she was earlier. Maybe they can get through this together. Cause she loved on him regardless of what happened. The unconditional love she has for this man blows me away. I honestly thought with her loving on him maybe they'd make it out. That they’d work through it together.
Tim looks so very defeated. On the verge of an actual breakdown as he explains that he lied about everything. Saying it saved his job...protected Angela and her. It doesn't seem like enough of a win to him. He looks so very destroyed and this is just the beginning of his downward spiral.
Lucy is doing everything to be his rock in this moment. To assuage him of his guilt… Most vulnerable ever seen Tim *pre tears*…. Lucy telling him it was an impossible situation. She would've done the same thing. It’s so very clear she was willing to work through this. To build them back to where they were before he got that phone call. Everything Lucy was in this scene represented her unconditional love for him. Tim is just too destroyed at the moment to see it….Also for him to accept it. It's so hard to truly accept unconditional love if you've never had it before. To truly trust in it.
Lucy is watching him spiral out of control. The way he's talking about himself with such loathing. How she never would've been in a place where she put her self interest over her team like him. She is trying her damndest to right his wrong. But Tim is having none of it. It pains me to see it... Pains Lucy too. It's the way she grabs onto him while he continues his verbal self flogging that get's me.
Trying to ground him in this moment with her touch. Bring him back to her. Something that has worked so well in the past. Sadly not having the intended affect this time around. Tim is too damn gone at this point. He feels he’s betrayed everything he thought he was. THOUGHT he was. *heart clutch* Tim has such a deep moral compass. That's why this is rocking him so very much. Ugh my heart. I too have a crazy deep moral compass. I can't say I wouldn't be spiraling out like him as well.
This was his greatest sin brought to light. To Tim exposing him for the fraud he feels he is. Him saying he's been lying to himself for a long time is a reflection of this. That imposter syndrome coming out real strong here. Something he buried deep down came rushing to the forefront and he is imploding. Says as much above. He no longer feels worthy to be in her life now. I get this anytime I screw up with a friend or my sister. I have this deep sense of shame attached to it. Like I no longer deserve that friend or my sister cause I messed up or if a past sin comes up. That they'll no longer love me or will forever look at me differently cause of it.
It's not logical but it's deeply ingrained from my mom shaming me for doing anything wrong growing up. As it is for Tim. His father literally beat the hell out of him for ever being out of line. He has suffered emotional and physical abuse. Unless confronted and treated comes out like this. Demons making their way to the surface. I was bawling by the time he said 'I'm sorry.' He’s never seen himself worthy of Lucy’s love that much has always been evident. But to see it this raw and visceral ripped my heart out. It’s on the ground where they're both standing.
I think this is something that has been brewing in the background for Tim for a long time. Now that I've had time away to decompress and think. I'm actually very excited they're tackling this. It's clear Tim is not in a place where he thinks he deserves her anymore. Low key never has been. He acts before he thinks. Eric had a great quote from his interview about Tim "He is impulsive and he reacts instead of thinking things through, and it can come out a bit too strong.” That is this decision in a nutshell. He feels he is a burden therefore he is removing himself without thinking it through. The regret that is going to come with this is going to be immense for him.
'You deserve so much better.' Better than me basically. He feels immense shame and that shame is launching him away from her. You know I learned something in therapy about this. About not being perfect and feeling like I'm too much. i.e. a burden. My therapist told me and it made me cry. 'You are worthy of the space you take up in people's lives. They want you there.' Tim does not think he is worthy of the space he is taking up in Lucy's life now. All his sins on the table laid out for her to see. He can't handle it. That much is very clear here. I will say I haven’t let a ship hurt me like this in a long time.
This absolutely crushed me. I couldn't even fathom assembling my thoughts. Cut me very deep. Been with this ship since day one. Also what a crushing blow this is for Lucy. Our poor girl. I mean she gave everything to this relationship. I mean EVERYTHING. She was all in from the moment Tim said ‘Unless it is.’ This was her first real relationship. First real leap into being serious. Thinking about marriage and kids. She gave her all to Tim my god. Her career took a hit for him and she never complained. Knew he was worth it (he still is btw) Fought every step of the way for him. For them.
When he was pulling back above it was an absolute panic for her. She could see him slipping through her fingers. Idk what broke my heart more Tim thinking he’s not worthy of her any longer or her begging him not to do this. She literally can't fathom how he can let go of her like this. Thought she was his person. Tim feels he’s gone back to who he was pre-Lucy and that scares him. He feels undeserving of the love she has to give him. Lucy knows everything and in his mind he can’t imagine her still loving him.
Lucy was as we all were in this scene. In disbelief... Even though Tim put her though absolute hell she was still there to comfort and support him. Because to her he is worth it even in the hard times. We all know Tim isn’t the best with his emotions. In his trauma damaged brain he thinks he’s doing the right thing here. That he’s radioactive, she deserves better than being around him and his reckless behavior.
The kiss on her head. Lucy trying to physically push away his rejection. Stomping all over my damn heart...However this ends up playing out Tim is going to have to address his emotional instability. How he charges forward and doesn’t think things through. Ruled by his emotions in the worst way. He’s impulsive and he’s gonna have to fight to get her back when he’s in a better mindset. Her trust has been obliterated by this. She fought and clawed for them and this was her reward. He’s gonna have to do some serious healing to get back to her. Lucy has loved him the best she can but he needs to put in some work now. We see next ep he's meeting with Aaron's therapist. Don't love that but I’ve wanted Tim to go to therapy for years. He needs this. Therapy doesn’t work unless you put the effort in though.
That will be a challenge for him. When I get out of the purview of this hurt I’m feeling...I’m actually going to be really impressed and happy they had Tim go through this. Do I think this is the end of them? No I think this is some serious growing pains. It was issues that have been percolating since Lucy did that 5 player trade. Hell probably back in 5x12 when Tim sacrificed himself without telling her so they could stay together. I still think that was romantic because of it's intended nature. BUT was the beginning of the communication problems. They’ve grown so very much in that regard. We’ve seen it but there is still work to be done on that front. It just came to a very gutting painful head.
I still have faith in the writers. I still have faith they’ll be ok. It might not be right away and I'm already feeling impatient tbh. But this is some serious realism being applied to them. It wasn't some random BS angst. Honestly we’re lucky our ship gets the most attention, the best SL’s and two people who LOVE these characters. They absolutely adore them and this ship. If you haven’t read Melissa and Eric’s interviews for this episode I highly recommend. This sucks right now. No two ways about it. But we will survive this storm. They’ll come out stronger than ever. Truly believe that. But for now let's rally around each other and get through this together. There will be brighter days ahead just doesn't feel like it right now. We got this.
~~~
Side notes non Chenford.
Do love Aaron working with Harper all if of all I cared about other than their SL in this one. Nolan's I fast forwarded which I normally don't do but I had no patience for his BS in this ep lol My anxiety was rampant in this ep and had no space for him.
Also RIP Metro Tim for the 6x07 promo. This hurts to see not just cause I enjoyed him in that outfit lol But to see his career take a nosedive like this. I wanted more Tim back story. Didn’t think would hurt like this though....Feel free to comment I love you all for any interaction I get with these. <3
#Caitlin mini reviews#chenford#s6#the rookie 6x06#6x06 Secret and Lies#otp: unless it is#otp: doing my job#the rookie#tim x lucy#tim bradford#lucy chen#lucy x tim#eric winter#melissa o'neil#tim bradford x lucy chen
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Somno with jisung? 🫠
ugh I think about this all the time! excuse me while I write more than necessary for this request.
You play innocent in public. You never say anything lewd, you don't curse much, and you're usually in big clothes courtesy of Jisung's closet. In private though, in your house with Jisung, you're anything but innocent. You make it a point to tease him often, always buying the smallest clothes possible to wear around the house, thongs and lacy underwear a staple of yours. Your ass and thighs are constantly on display and Jisung wouldn't have it any other way. At night, you usually have some sort of pants on though along with a top of some sort so you don't get cold but tonight you didn't have either. There you were, sleeping in just a lacy thong and no shirt on. Your tits were out on display along with your thighs. He had come home late from some errands and just wanted to rest but seeing you this way made his tiredness melt away. He had expected to see you in pajamas of some sort when he lifted the blanket but this was much better. Your skin called to him and he put out his hand to touch those plush thighs of yours. You shivered a little under his touch but it didn't wake you. Jisung crept over you slowly and started kissing your chest as he brought his hand to your barely clothed core, using his fingers to play with you rhythmically. You made a small noise in your sleep and it just caused Jisungs dick to strain against his pants. He slowly stripped you of the one article of clothing you had on before he made his way down. His tongue teased at your folds before dipping in to poke at your clit. He had to stop himself from roughly attaching his mouth to you and thrusting his tongue in you to taste you all over his tongue because he didn't want to wake you. Jisung kept his slow pace, simply wishing to make you feel good in whatever dream you were in along with lubing you up for his dick. He slid in a finger in slowly and started stretching you out gently before adding another one. He kept checking to see if you were awake every time you made a noise but no, you were still asleep. He knew you were a heavy sleeper and was grateful for that fact at this moment more than ever. He removed his clothes to feel your body against his while he fucked you and positioned you on your side to fuck you from behind. He laid behind you and peppered your neck with gentle kisses as he slowly led his dick into you. You moved and Jisung held back his moan so he wouldn't wake you further. Once you stilled he started his movements, fucking his dick into you slowly. Feeling the way your walls wrapped around him made him euphoric as he moaned out breathily behind your ear. You whimpered in your sleep and clenched around him ushering a hiss out of him. Jisung started moving faster, knowing he could risk waking you but just needing you way too much right now.
"Jisung-ie?
You had woken up but Jisung's pace didn't slow, it sped up. Hearing your little sleepy voice call out his name and feeling you press your butt up against him accidentally caused his control to falter.
"Go back to sleep baby, I'm not done with you yet."
You trusted him and tried your best to go back to sleep as he thrust his dick into you. If it wasn't for the tiredness that took over you, you for sure wouldn't have been able to sleep with the way he pumped himself into you. Alas, your eyes closed and you drifted back to sleep as Jisung felt his orgasm approaching. He kept his pace and once he knew he was gonna cum he thrusted into you especially hard and filled you up with his cum. All of his day's troubles washed away with his climax as he held you close to him. He wanted to stay inside of you forever but his softening dick eventually started slipping so he pulled out. He lifted your leg to watch the cum spill out of you onto your thigh as he licked his lips. He would have to reward you tomorrow but right now he needed some rest. He quickly cleaned you up before laying in the bed. The heat of your body was enough to make him sleepy but he knew you'd be cold so he wrapped you in his arms and then threw the blanket over the both of you.
"I love you. Sweet dreams, baby."
He kissed you softly on your head before closing his eyes and drifting off to sleep.
#han jisung#han jisung smut#han jisung x reader#han smut#stray kids#stray kids smut#stray kids x reader#skz
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Hi, I have a Rocket request. Can you do something before vol 1 where he meets reader and they are really kind to him, but no one's never be this kind except from Groot, so it takes some time for him to trust them and "get used" to it.
Kindness goes a long way
AWWWW, this is a super cute anon, I love this idea so much. Rocket don't you worry buddy, you'll have another best friend and you won't even know it. Word count:1K
All his life, all Rocket knew was pain... He lost his friends in the worst way possible, which made him closed off and angry. Pushing away anyone who tried to get close to him as he always knew they would just hurt them again. He then met Groot and then began to slowly open up. He knew because Groot wasn't the type to judge anyone. But then he met you.
He and Groot were trying to nab a bounty one night before they were beaten to it by you.
"Hey come on kid, that was our bounty" He snarled at you.
"I didn't see your name on it" You smirked at him.
He growled at you before Groot placed a hand on his shoulder, to make sure he didn't lunge at you and hurt you.
"Tell you what, I'm feeling generous tonight. How about we claim it together, split the reward evenly" You offered them.
Groot happily accepted it, but Rocket was hesitant, No one, especially in bounty hunting shared the reward with him. Usually, it was every man for themself, but it didn't seem to be that with you. But for now, he agreed.
"If as so you change your mind on this humie..."
"I never back away on my promises furball" You playfully scolded.
He grumbled to himself as you three then went to collect the reward, when you split the amount with the two, Groot then suggested...
"I am Groot" (Maybe They should join us)
"What absolutely no way driftwood, we ain't adding no more to the crew" Rocket shot the idea down as soon as he did.
"But I mean... He's kinda right though, I have seen you two in action before. Your brains, He's the brawn and I could potentially be your eyes to new bounties that you two probably would never get" You counter offered.
"Ok first off you understand what he's saying ??"
"Universal translator" You tapped the side of your head.
"I am Groot" (Rocket they would be a valuable asset with us) Groot continued to convince him.
Rocket rolled his eyes and thought about it for a bit.
"You got a name kid ??"
"Y/n L/n"
"Well... Don't get too comfortable, cause If I see you doing anything funny, I will shoot you"
But nevertheless, you were now officially a part of their little group, looking out for more bounties. But you pulled your weight along the ship too, Sometimes Rocket would be taken aback by your random acts of kindess.
"Oh flark I forgot to fix the cooler" He quickly tried to rush for it.
"It's ok, I fixed it earlier. I thought it'll help take the load off of you" You kindly smiled at him.
"Whatever I could've done it anyway" He scoffed.
Or when one morning you made him breakfast.
"Here you go" You handed him a plate of bacon and eggs.
"I ain't hungry humie" He shoved the plate away from him.
"Dude we got a huge bounty to collect tonight, you can't do that on an empty stomach can we ??" You once again kindly smiled at him.
"Ugh... fine" He muttered as he began to slowly eat.
And when you helped find his missing bomb project.
"Come on come on where did I put it !!!!" He growled as he tore almost half the ship apart to find it.
"What's wrong buddy ??" You tilted your head in confusion.
"First of you and I ain't buddies or pals. Secondly I need to find the bomb I was working on before it blows the damn ship in half !!"
"Ok calm down... Where did you leave it last ??"
"I put it right their next to the crate and when I came back it was gone.
"Oooh was that it ??, I thought it was some sort of gadget, I just moved it to the gadgets cabinet just in case, Sorry about that"
He grumbled a bit as he went to retrieve the bomb, but he was... kinda grateful that it didn't become a tripping hazard to neither you or Groot.
As this went on, he began to very slowly warm up to you and your gestures. Maybe he was wrong about you. Maybe you weren't like the other people he had faced in his life... you were different...
One night when it was your turn for rotation on the cockpit, he then went to join you.
"Seat taken ??" He tried to joke.
"It's ok" You chuckled as an indicator that he could sit.
He joined in with you gazing at the cosmos and fiddling with his thumbs for a little bit until finally gathering the courage.
"Y/n... I'm sorry for the way I treated ya during the beginning, It's just... No one has ever been this... kind to me in my life before... It made me... Really scared.."
"Scared ??" You turned to him, asking in a non judgmental way.
"Scared that..." He hesitated to say it. this was already big for him enough, as soon as he began his sentence, he began to stutter.
"Hey hey... It's ok... If you're not ready to talk about it then that's ok, I'm not forcing you to. You kindly smiled at him.
He then took a deep breath in relief. "What I'm trying to get at kid is... I'm sorry for the way I treated you from the start... Do you think we can start over ??" He looked at you.
You could see it in his eyes he really misjudged you, He really wanted to start over again. "Of course... Partner" You raised your fist for a fist bump.
He grinned soon after and gladly returned it. "Yeah, partner"
For the rest of the night, the two got to know each other properly and even engaged in some playful banter with each other, which made Rocket smile, something that very rarely happens.
Then soon after that, what turned from a simple partnership was turned into an amazing friendship. You two would have each other's backs for life.
Taglist: @callofdudes @fun-k-board
#platonic#reader insert#rocket raccoon#rocket x reader#rocket raccoon x reader#rocket gotg#gotg rocket#gotg imagine#guardians of the galaxy imagine#rocket imagine#rocket raccoon imagine
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Playing Ace Attorney, Rise from the Ashes part 3
Hallelujah my brothers & sisters! Feenie is having some empathy again!🥳
"Hey, Gant-jerk! You NEVER hurt my sweet boyfriend again, bitch!"
DON'T remind me of Von Karma, a giant monstrous asshole who hurt my baby Edgey just like you!
My baby did NOTHING wrong, asshole! He's the purest, most righteous and most beautiful angel I know!! 😭👼🏻
"Knock yourself out", huh?
"I'll always believe in Mr Edgeworth! No matter what happens!" Daddy...😭
"Why is the award broken?" Idk, maybe Edgey smashed it?? After seeing VON KARMA name on it????
Daddy is an artist like Fee-Fee.
Noooo… the vase gluing, is that a joke??😩
Wait. Why can't I go see Edgey after talking to Gumshoe like in all the other let's play videos?? What did I miss??? Why am I STUCK??? I'm going fucking crazy!! Why can't I go see my baby????
Gumshoe FUCKS the police too! 🖕🖕
Ugh!! I just had to EXAMINE the blood prints!! God, thank the Lord!
"Who needs enemies when you have friends like Gumshoe?" OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHH!!
Fuck you, Phoenix. He's a waaay better friend than you. 😊
The fuck is HE doing here?? Does Edgey require all the hottest men in town to work for him?🌈
Can't I kiss him to make him less sad??😢
Edgey loves his Daddy so much! 😭
I can't read numbers anymore. Gant, you motherfucking, manipulative son of a sick bitch!!🤬
"You are the man who revived the worst memory of my life."😭💔💔
Nooo… just HOW many fuckers bullied my baby Edgey all this time?? 😭💔💔💔💔
"All along, I've done only what I believe is right. I have nothing to be ashamed of! And yet…" = (do I?) 😭😭😭😭💔💔💔💔
Edgey don't give a shit anymore.
"Edgeworth… I'm really--" Really WHAT?? ?? Grateful? Sorry? Worried? In love??
"Why don't you give that to Gumshoe?" Fee-Fee's brains are baaaaack!! Woohoooo!!
Why can't we hug Edgey goodbye before going back to the investigation???😭
"Capital punishment"?? For ONE murder???
Ema, only 16 and complete stranger, figured out Edgey waaaay better than anyone else his trustful Gumshoe or the "only person who really knows him".
"Looks on top of the things while he actually doesn't know what's going on", a way better actor than Feenie himself then.
"And that's supposed to be an admirable trait?" Fuck you, Phoenix! Did you actually quitted arts because you despised everyone in there, like the bitter misanthropic bitch you are??
You'll need this unadmirable trait later, bitch!
"You're not the kind of guy s/o would want to "run into"."
OMG, FUCK YOU Phoenix! You and your high bisexual standards! You're really in good shape today, huh??
Wow, these "security cameras" are so shitty.
Ooooh! Fee-Fee is roasting himself too! He's a competitive bitch!
STOP BULLYING MY SWEET & ALREADY SELF-HATING & HEAVILY TRAUMATIZED BAYBY!!
YOU ALL GOLDFISH-BRAINED FUCKERS!!
#ace attorney#phoenix wright#miles edgeworth#ema skye#dick gumshoe#narumitsu#gumworth#queen bitch fee-fee#group hug for baby edgey
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The Rare Bookseller Part 21: Jameson's Threat
Masterlist
September 1925
TW: Captivity, mind control, hypnosis, abusive language, dehumanization
"Oh, he's much too rich for me. I just wanted to take a look at him, see how the ultra-wealthy eat."
"It's nice to see such a high-quality thrall. I'll admit, I'm impressed."
"I think he'd be a bit wasted on me. The sort of thrall you only bring out when there's fancy company, if you catch my meaning."
"I'm always on the lookout for a thrall that can be trusted with household matters, and I think he'd get along well with my Daisy."
Oliver spent what seemed like an eternity being poked and examined and remarked upon by vampire after vampire, all dressed in their Sunday best (not that vampires, he supposed, went to church) and all eager to catch a glimpse of the marquee merchandise. He bowed and introduced himself and tried to make himself appealing and subservient, and every time he wavered even slightly, Miss Lily was there to quiet him. He couldn't count on Lord Alexander, and he had to be sold, or risk a worse fate. That much was more than clear to him.
He derived at least some small comfort by the fact that he was in such high demand. He'd never experienced anything like it, always being the sort of person who was small and quiet and overlooked, even as far back as grade school.
"So this garbage is what passes for a luxury thrall in this city?" The vampire was pale as a ghost, with watery brown eyes and an expensive looking suit.
Distress shot through Oliver at the growled question. "I'm -- I'm sorry, sir, if I've offended --"
"Ugh, the thing talks," he said with a look of utter disgust. "I don't know why they allow this at a high-end auction. I don't need my livestock begging for their lives."
"Many of the patrons of our auction are looking for thralls capable of handling household chores, so we always offer some with their minds intact," said Miss Lily, in a tone that didn't fully mask her annoyance. "You're welcome to look at some of our other offerings if you're interested in fully erased humans."
"All the erased here are low grade, barely fit for a gutter leech. I'm not paying good money for bad blood. I could just have this one erased after I buy him," said Lord Jameson.
No level of trance was going to keep Oliver from panicking at that. "Sir -- but --"
"Quiet," said Lord Jameson, and the word sank Oliver -- not like when Miss Lily did it, but like being pulled under quicksand, chest constricted, struggling to breathe. "You'll be erased, rendered mute and illiterate, and live in my pens, and you'll be grateful for it. Dumb cattle."
Oliver gasped for air, the room spinning around him. He thought he'd escaped that fate. He'd consoled himself that was going to end up a servant, not necessarily the life he would have chosen, but a tolerable one. He thought he'd avoided having his precious intelligence stolen from him, being turned into nothing more than an animal. He was a fool. He'd always be in that sort of danger as long as he lived among vampires.
His knees hurt. He realized the reason why a second later -- he'd hit them on the wooden floor as he'd collapsed.
"Lord Jameson, I'm going to have to ask you to refrain from traumatizing the merchandise until you've paid for it!"
"As if he --"
Oliver's head was swimming. The voices around him became muffled. He felt as if he was outside his body, watching himself faint. Then everything went black.
"Oliver. Oliver!"
His eyes snapped open. Miss Lily was pulling him to a sitting position. He looked around frantically, but --
"I saw Lord Jameson out. He's gone," she said. "Damn him! You were doing so well."
"Is he --" said Oliver, coughing, his mouth dry. "Is he going to -- is he going to buy me, sir?"
"Here. Water," said Miss Lily, offering him a cup. She rubbed his back soothingly as he drank. "He may try. I can't promise you he won't. And he is rich. But there are others interested in buying you as well."
"I'm sorry, Miss Lily, but I don't want him to -- "
"I know. I understand. Take a deep breath for me, Oliver, and be quiet."
He did as she instructed and welcomed the blankness that invaded his mind.
"Oliver, dear, look at me," she said, and her fingers were fluttering in front of his face. "Watch. Back and forth. You're so tired. Sleepy. Watch my fingers. Making you sleepy," she said in a rapid patter. "Relax. Sleepy. Back and forth. Eyes are closing. Watch my fingers. Getting sleepy. Shut your eyes. Go to sleep."
The hypnotic commands overwhelmed Oliver's already overwhelmed mind, and his eyes fell shut, his head resting on Miss Lily's shoulder.
"That's it, Oliver. Just take a little nap and you'll feel so much better. Forget about what just happened. Let it grow hazy in your mind. Sleep and forget, dear, sleep and forget."
There wasn't any real comfort here, just a vampire hypnotizing him into complacency, but even an artificial peace was better than none. He allowed his thoughts to slip, the memory of what had just occurred to dull. He curled against Miss Lily, who patted his hair with a cold hand and whispered suggestions of sleep in his ear.
"Oliver, Oliver dear, are you feeling better now?" Miss Lily's voice sounded like it was coming from far away. "I have an old friend who wants to see you. Wake up."
He rubbed at his eyes, wondering how long he'd been out for. He was still in a showroom, Miss Lily holding the chain of his handcuffs, and he wasn't... quite... sure what had just happened, only that it had been awful.
Miss Lily helped him to his feet. "Thanks for waiting, Ruth. He's normally a doll, but we ran into a little trouble with Jameson."
"Oh, it's no trouble!" The nearby vampire was wearing a well-tailored suit and had a fashionable bob cut. "Jameson also makes me wish to curl up into a ball and die, so I fully understand." The two laughed.
Lord Jameson. Yes. That had been it. He had threatened Oliver with a fate far worse than death. Thanks to Miss Lily, it seemed further away, bearable. After all, Lord Jameson was only one of several people who were interested in buying him.
"Pleased to meet you, sir," Oliver said, bowing to Miss Ruth.
"How polite and dapper," Miss Ruth said. "Let me take a good look at you." She took Oliver's chin and turned it back and forth, looked him deep in the eye, then grasped his arms to have him turn around in a circle, his ball gown swishing. "Fine stock. Excellent blood. And you say he has his intelligence still?"
"Yes, his mind is well-preserved, if I do say so myself," said Miss Lily.
"Excellent." Miss Ruth had an odd gleam in her eye as she addressed Oliver. "I'm a lawyer, boy, and my thralls pull double duty as my clerks. If I buy you, I'll work you to the bone. Paperwork up to your neck, filing as far as the eye can see. You won't get that with any other vampire here. What do you think of that?"
So, effectively the opposite of Lord Jameson -- but the normal unappealing prospect of spending the rest of his life doing unpaid clerical work for a vampire seemed like paradise compared to having his mind wiped and living in an animal pen. "I'd be honored that you appreciate my intelligence, sir."
She nodded approvingly. "Good answer, boy. Let's see how well trained you are. Eyes on me. Name and date of birth."
"Oliver Pines, July 1, 1899, sir."
"What's the capital of Vermont, New York, Florida?"
"Montpelier, Albany, and uh -- Tallahassee. Sir."
"Three branches of the government."
"Legislative, executive, judicial, sir."
"Stand on one foot and hop three times."
He dutifully did so, thankful that he hadn't been given women's shoes to wear as his stockinged foot thumped on the floor. There was something strangely nice about being commanded like this, of having his simple obedience rewarded.
"Well done. Now go to sleep." She snapped near his ear, and Oliver was out like a light, caught in Miss Ruth's arms. "Awake." And he was up again, blinking.
"Yes, he'd do, he'd do quite well. I'm sure he'd easily pick up the training he needs," she said. "Shame about the price, but we'll see."
"I hope I can be of service to you, sir," said Oliver. Any option in the mix that reduced his chances of being purchased by Lord Jameson was fine by him.
Part 20 >> Masterlist >> Part 22
Thanks for reading this story of Oliver's distress.
@d-cs @latenightcupsofcoffee @thecyrulik @dismemberment-on-a-tuesday-night @wanderinggoblin @whumpyourdamnpears @only-shadows-dwell-where-we-are @pressedpenn @pigeonwhumps @amusedmuralist @snakebites-and-ink @sl33py-pup @diamond-blade-blog @ivycloak @ladyjaye13 @irregular-book
#whump#whump writing#whumpee#mind control#vampire#vampire whumper#captivity#hypnosis#rare bookseller#oliver#lily#jameson#ruth
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hi!! it's been a while lol. college has been kicking my ass but I finally got around to finishing window across the galaxy and oh my god. dude. it's so good. u are so good. my god. amazing outstanding u are the glitter in the snow on a moonlit night u are the crunch in the leaves and the squirrels in the trees and the sweetness in sugar and i appreciate u so, so much.
also i have my cat up here as an emotional support animal now :3 her name is honeybee cause she looks exactly like my older cat bumblebee whom I named after the transformer when I was like 7 I would send a picture but I kind of don't know how x-x
LITTLE FOX. i missed you and at the same time i trust you have been doing what you needed to do to survive (and hopefully take care of yourself) in this crazy world. i'm so sorry college has been kicking your ass, and so happy that you have your little kitty ESA with you to help make sure you are taken care of (i imagine that this is SERIOUS BUSINESS for honeybee, who makes sure to look extra cuddlable when she knows you need to look at something cuddlable, and to be endearingly annoying when she thinks you need a little bit of a challenge). i would LOVE to see a picture of honeybee and you probably just couldn't send one because my settings didn't allow for media posts. but they do now! i changed them just for honeybee.
i will ALWAYS be excited to see photos of cats just fyi. and most animals tbh
i am so glad and grateful that you liked window *:・゚✧ the fact that you've stayed committed to it this long is IMPRESSIVE in the current climate of fandom at large, which i feel like moves SO fast. (╥﹏╥) literally making me tear up bby. thank you for sticking with it, thank you for reading it, thank you SO much for coming here to tell me you liked it. ♡♡ it truly means so much and ugh now i just wanna cry. you are a perfectly twirly maple seed and a shiny acorn and the crystals that form in maple syrup. and i'm so grateful.
i hope this semester wraps up smoothly for you. that your exams and final projects and papers are challenging enough that you get to flex, and easy enough that you don't miss even one minute of rest or fun. i hope your mornings are lovely, your beverages are the right temperature and sweetness, and that honeybee gives you a gentle little headbump whenever you need it. i hope you get all those special autumn moments with friends ~ late night walks and shared coffee. may all the blessings of this cozy season be upon you, my dear friend ♡♡♡♡
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Part five of the ficlet collection for "Hello My Old Heart"!~
Wedding vows are hard to write. I'm just gonna say that much. I also won't lie - I struggled a bit with this one, for some reason. Hope y'all enjoy it, anyway! Previous parts: Let's Be Us Again | Suddenly, Everything Has Changed | Sleeping In | Early Birdie | Smother Me | Marry You
((Hopefully the links work. I will be forever sad if they don't))
Wedding planning should not be difficult. Mind, wedding planning was not John Dory's forte. He and Hickory had discussed a couple of ideas; primarily wanting a smaller guest list and how they would write their own vows, but that was about it. He truly had no idea how to go about inviting the guests, book a venue, arrange food…none of it. But then Poppy had caught wind of how abysmally his planning had been going, and it had been taken right out of his hands completely. He was infinitely grateful to her, really. However, Poppy's idea of what his wedding should be like and his own were quite different.
"Honestly, Popstar, it's fine. Hickory and I are good even just standing in the middle of a field and saying our vows, if it comes down to it. We don't need all this fan fare," John said quickly, watching as Poppy flipped through several wedding scrapbooks, going back and forth between them all while making notes. She looked up at him with a little frown.
"No way. You're Branch's oldest brother, and you were a member of BroZone! This is going to be big, and amazing! Trust me," Poppy said, waving a dismissive hand through the air.
John frowned and glanced at Branch, who was busy fiddling with some new invention of his off to the side. "Branch! Tell her to stop."
Branch spared John a short glance, only to roll his eyes and go back to his tools. "You're a big troll now, John Dory. Use your words."
John huffed out a breath, turning back to Poppy. She had color swatches out now and was holding them up near John's face to compare to his fur color. He grimaced, gently pushing her hands away. "Look, Poppy," he sighed, trying to put as much sincerity into his tone as he could muster, "I appreciate what you want to do. Really, I do. But Hickory and I just don't want a huge event made of this. Neither of us really like a big crowd, and we don't want some massive ragger of a party. And, before you say it, I know how that sounds coming from me. Please. If you want to plan our wedding, I won't stop you, because I really appreciate you taking all of this over for me. But can we keep it small?"
Poppy made a couple of abortive motions with the swatches in her hands, before finally deflating and nodding slightly. "Okay, fine. Family and close friends, only. But I will be making the flower arrangements as big as I want!"
"Deal," John snorted, holding out his hand, Poppy grinning widely as she shook it.
~
John had been ready to say his vows to Hickory withing a week of Hickory's awkward half-proposal. However, Poppy apparently needed at least three months to make the arrangements for everything she had planned. She told him, at one point, that what she had originally wanted to do would've taken six months, but after John's haggling she knocked her plans down to something she could put together in three. Plus, she had pointed out, John and Hickory's guests would need time to make appropriate travel plans and arrangements.
Needless to say, John was getting restless waiting. Two months into it, and even Sky was getting agitated.
"Why can't you do it now?" the trolling whined, flopping himself dramatically onto the ground. He kicked his little feet into the floor, his face smushed into the carpet, "Waiting feels like forever."
John snorted, elbow deep in the sink as he washed dishes, glancing over his shoulder to watch Sky briefly. "Because your aunt Poppy wants everything to be special. Plus, it hasn't been that long since your uncle Bruce visited. He's gotta make sure the restaurant is gonna be okay if he leaves again."
"UGH," Sky whined, rolling over to stare up at the ceiling. "Fine, I guess."
"Such a generous boy," Hickory laughed, taking a dish from John to dry and put away.
"Mmm. What's got your hair in a twist, anyway? It's not like anything will change around here after the wedding," John hummed, pulling the plug in the sink as he finished the last dish.
"No, I know," Sky sighed, tilting his head so he could watch his parents in the kitchen, "But, some of the kids at school were talking about aunt Poppy and uncle Branch's wedding, and some of them said only trolls in true love get married. And I know you and Papa are in true love, but a girl at school told me you couldn't be, 'cause you weren't married."
John snorted in mild offense, while Hickory simply frowned as he put the last of the dishes away.
"You tell that girl at school that anyone can be in true love, marriage or not," Hickory said as he turned to his son, hands on his hips, earning a surprised look from John, who'd had a snarky remark at the tip of his tongue. "As a matter of fact, sometimes true love just smacks ya right in the face, an' ya don't even realize it. Other times, it's real slow and creeps up on ya while yer not lookin'. True love can happen anytime, an' anywhere. You don't need no fancy ceremony an' a ring to show you've got true love."
Sky had sat up on the floor to pay better attention to his father while he spoke, little sparkles in his eyes at the impassioned speech. "Which one happened with you and Dad?"
"Well," Hickory chuckled, "The smack in the face sure happened to me." He glanced at John with a fond look on his face, "An' I'm pretty sure the slow creep happened to yer Dad."
"You big sap," John snorted, though he had to hide his face behind a hand to try and block the view of the dark flush that had spread across his cheeks.
~
"John?"
"Muh?!" John jerked awake, blinking muzzily into the darkness as he sat up, looking around in a daze.
"Sorry, schatz," Hickory murmured, rubbing at John's shoulder to calm him down. John let out a little sigh, settling back down into the pillows.
"What's up?" John murmured, squinting through the dark at Hickory.
"I wanted to talk to you about something."
"…And it couldn't wait until morning?"
Hickory let out a breathy little laugh, petting at John's jaw gently. "I don't think so."
John waited for Hickory to speak, his brain slowly trying to pull him back down into sleep, before he forced himself into wakefulness again. "Well?" he grunted, rubbing at his face.
"Sorry. It's just…hard. It's hard to say," Hickory muttered. Another moment passed before Hickory sighed, shifting against the bed to lay flat on his back, his gaze focused on the ceiling. "I would like to extend an invitation to the wedding to Dickory."
John immediately sat up again, his mind now wide awake. "You what?"
Hickory sat up as well, holding his hands up in a placating gesture, although John could barely tell he was doing so. "I know! I know how that sounds, but…He's my brother."
"Yeah! Your brother who tried to-what was it he said? Oh, right. MAIM me? Because apparently, he wasn't actively trying to kill me. Just came real close," John seethed, trying to keep his voice quiet. "He called me a whore on multiple occasions!"
Hickory seemingly floundered for words for a few minutes as they sat in the dark in silence, while Hickory audibly fiddled with the blankets in his lap. "I'm sorry. I know he was terrible. To both of us, but especially you. But…he is the only family I have left, liebling. I want him to at least know that I'm happy. That we're happy, despite everything…This is why I wanted to talk to you now. I didn't want to argue in front of Sky."
"Oh, yes. Because waking me up in the middle of the night is going to lead to a really productive conversation," John groused, flopping back down into the pillows. He could hear Hickory continue to fiddle with the blankets for a long moment, before laying down next to him again. He groaned while throwing an arm over his eyes, already feeling the guilt welling up in his chest at Hickory's silence. "Okay, fine! You can send him an invitation. But you're going to need to talk to Poppy, since y'know…he got banished and all that."
John grunted as Hickory practically rolled on top of him and pulled his arm away from his face. "Thank you, schatz! If Poppy agrees, and he shows up, I will make sure to keep him on tight reins," Hickory hummed, pressing a smile into John's cheek.
"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm pretty great," John grumbled, wrapping his arms around Hickory. "Now, let me go back to sleep before our kid comes banging at our door to get up."
~
Finally, after months of waiting, the day of the wedding arrived.
John was nervous, to say the least. He and Hickory had agreed to Poppy's weird rule that the couple needed to spend the night before the wedding apart. It had been the first night in four years that John hadn't slept next to Hickory, and that alone had been enough to set him on edge for the day. And now, only a few scant hours before the wedding, he was stood in the little tent Poppy had had set up as a makeshift dressing room, in front of a mirror, staring at himself forlornly. His outfit was impeccable; a dark purple suit that Branch had, surprisingly, picked out with black and gold accents, and a black headband to replace his goggles. Certainly not his usual color scheme or style, but definitely complimentary to his natural colors. He knew he looked good (Poppy wouldn't let him walk out in something tacky. He hoped, anyway), but that didn't stop the thrill of nerves making him sweat.
"You look like you swallowed a lemon."
Bruce's voice startled John out of his silent revere, causing the teal troll to finally turn away from the mirror.
"And what if I did?" John tried to joke, but it fell flat as Bruce walked into the tent proper, a concerned little frown on his face. He shifted under his younger brothers scrutiny, before finally letting out a puff of air, while wiping his palms on the bottom of his suit jacket. "I'm just nervous."
"Whatever for?" Bruce chuckled, moving forward to fix the lapels of John's suit jacket.
"I genuinely have no idea," John laughed, already beginning to feel ridiculous as he thought about the conversation he'd had with Bruce previously, back when Sky's egg had first appeared in his hair. "I know he loves me, no matter what."
"And he's definitely in it for the long haul," Bruce agreed, stepping back from John with an easy smile. "You've got nothing to worry about. Today is really more of a formality, then anything else."
"I bet you were still nervous when you and Brandy got married, even if you knew she was in it for the long haul," John pointed out with a cheeky grin, laughing as Bruce flushed.
"Oh, I was a wreck," Bruce admitted with a little shrug and a nod, "I'm surprised I didn't trip over my own feet while walking up the aisle." He paused for a moment, fiddling with the bright orange rose bud on his lapel. "This probably isn't the best time to say this, but I wish you'd been there."
John chewed on the inside of his cheek to stop himself from starting to cry already, and gave a little nod. "I do, too."
Bruce nodded, clearing his throat as he not so subtly wiped at his eyes. "Right, well! Break a leg out there, Johnny," the purple troll declared, spinning on his heel to walk out of the tent.
"Bruce, wait!"
Bruce paused, turning to offer his brother a questioning glance.
"I know this is probably gonna sound weird, and Poppy might lose her marbles, because we didn't rehearse it, but, uhm," John cleared his throat, tugging at the hem of his jacket to straighten it, "Will you…walk me down the aisle?"
That was enough to get Bruce to burst into tears, his hands quickly shooting up to cover his face. "Oh my god, John!" he sniffed, shaking his head, "Right before the wedding?! I'm gonna be all blotchy."
"Oh, uh, sorry!" John scooped a tissue box up from his little vanity, offering it to Bruce, "Is that a 'no', then?"
"Is that a 'no'," Bruce mocked, snatching up tissues, "Of course it's a YES, you idiot. Glitter and cupcakes, you have the worst timing known to troll kind,"
"Ha, yeah…"
~
"You ready?"
"As I'll ever be, I guess."
The music queue began to play, notifying John that he should be walking down the aisle now. The teal troll turned to his brother, his smile crooked as they linked arms.
"It'll be great."
"I know."
~
"As I've been informed, the couple has written vows for each other. You may now recite them. Hickory, you may go first."
Hickory grinned brightly at John as the two stood at the alter, barely a foot apart but both feeling like they were still an ocean away, unable to reach out and touch. Sky was stood between them, just in front of the officiator, a little pillow that had previously held the rings they'd exchanged clutched in his hands as he watched his parents with stars in his eyes.
The country troll dug into the pocket of the black and gold floral pattern suit he wore, pulling a well worn, dog eared piece of paper out. He cleared his throat as he unfolded it carefully, glancing up at John with a smitten little smile, before he began to read.
"John Dory…I will never forget the day I first laid eyes on ya. Time felt like it stopped, an' my world suddenly felt like it could be so much bigger. Ya made me realize that I could be more than what other folks told me I should be, or what I should want. You gave me hope, an' I thought that was the most precious gift any troll had ever given me. But then ya gave me yer love, an' I realized that nothin' in this world or the next would ever compare. An' then you gave me a child…an' I don't think anythin' I can say or do will ever truly express just how grateful I am to receive all of the gifts you have given me, an' to have you in my life. I love you, with all a' my heart. An' I promise to keep tryin', every day of my life, to show ya just how much ya truly mean to me."
Hickory lifted his gaze from his speech, tears in his eyes, only to let out a wet laugh at the tears already streaking down John's cheeks.
"Oh, you're good," John whispered, sniffing loudly and wiping quickly at his eyes as Hickory chuckled. "I don't have proper vows written," he admitted, reaching out to take one of Hickory's hands, once the country troll had tucked his little piece of paper back into his pocket, "But, I thought I'd do something a little unconventional. Since we've always been a bit unconventional." He turned his head to nod at Branch, who quickly pulled a microphone out of his hair to hand over to John. "Hopefully my voice isn't too mucked up from crying," he added with a chuckle into the microphone, earning a smattering of laughter from the guests.
"There goes my heat beatin', cause you are the reason…" ((click here to listen to John's song))
Cheers broke out from the guests as John finished his song, a little grin on his face as Hickory openly wept in front of him. "Haha, I win," he said quickly into the microphone, before handing it back to Branch, earning a light punch in the arm from his youngest brother.
"And with that, I now pronounce you husband and husband," the officiator announced, with another round of cheering from the crowd as Hickory yanked John into a kiss.
#trolls#dreamworks trolls#trolls john dory#trolls hickory#hickdory#trolls band together#trolls world tour#trolls fanfic#things that i wrote
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Dragon Hunters: GLACIER OF MADNESS
(PART 7)
Main characters & setting by: © Arthur Qwak, Valérie Hadida, Guillaume Ivernel © Futurikon Screenplay and artwork: Fideliada
Part1--Part2--Part3--Part4--Part5--Part6--Part7--Part8--Part9(end)
(Lian-Chu) I think an explanation is unnecessary now, Gwizdo...
(Cracking of crushed branches)
(Blade clinking in ice)
(Zoria) I can go by myself! (Lian-Chu) Take care of your strength, you're underweight now… (Gwizdo) It's a good thing we still didn't eat anything, Hector?! (Hector) ZDO RIGHT!
(The rustle of a graceful bounce off the wall)
(Lian-Chu) It's better to crawl out of his sight. (Zoria) I thought that monster was you, Lian-Chu… I trusted him! (Lian-Chu) No need to be ashamed, anyone could be in your place… (Zoria) Lian-Chu wouldn't get caught. Gwizdo, get away from me and think about yourself! (Gwizdo) But you... Yeah, you know better… (Lian-Chu) Your legs are wavering: lean on Gwizdo and Hector.
(Zoria) Why did you follow Lian-Chu here? Looking for treasures? (Gwizdo) Here we go again... (turns sarcastic) Yes, it's true! How else? Don't stumble, watch your shaky feet... (Zoria) Okay, boys! As soon as we get there, I'll choose my own route! (Gwizdo) What a great idea: you can't imagine HOW PATIENTLY the local "population" is waiting for your "freedom" now!
(The shelter is cracked from pinpoint strikes with probes)
(Lian-Chu) Now you guys can speed up!
(The menacing rasp of a crumbling old branch obscures the sounds of running.)
(Hector) Ugh! UGH! (Zoria) What's gotten into you?! Let me go! (Gwizdo) Hector, move your hooves, it's not time to save your strength on the way back!
(Zoria) So this little sun can talk? (Gwizdo) If only that!.. Hector, take the bandages off her belt, or you'll go blind! (Zoria) No, let me do it. I still want to be grateful.
(Zoria) That's better! Illuminated places stand out, and we can use them as our guide! (Gwizdo) Phew!.. Lian-Chu, finally! How are you? (Lian-Chu) Fibramorio's chewing wood chips at the bottom, which gives us a head start. But his eyes are immune to the light. (Gwizdo) Clear... Do you need a bandage?
(The crunch of wood fragments being quickly ground)
(Gwizdo) Soon he'll be done with snacking… So what do we do next? (Zoria) Thanks, Lian-Chu. I haven't forgotten how to walk, my hands will remember how to fence! (Lian-Chu) If we weaken our vision, we connect other senses. Let your ear lead you where the whispers are louder: captive souls are ready to get freed, I've heard their longing.
(Zoria) I'm in, boys! Let's release them right away! (Gwizdo) What? Are we going to destroy an entire heater here?! (Zoria) If I understand correctly, the course is for the crown... with the main heat-conducting branches! Can you get us there, Lian-Chu?
(Hector) Started looking here! (Zoria) The chorus of voices increased! We're about to arrive! (Lian-Chu) On the latest resources, everything should work out fine… (Gwizdo) We always fight dragons back-to-back in time! Look, since I can see better than anyone else at this height, do you mind if I tell you to fall back?
(Gwizdo) But what kind of navigator am I if I don't finish drawing the Map of the Isle of Tears?
(Zoria) You're kind of calm now… (Gwizdo) The main reason for joy has been completed, Mrs. Purple Tears: my manuscript can now be patented and sold to the Archeologists ' Guild for the price of a five-story villa in the area of blooming beaches! (Zoria) Thinking about big money even in this situation? (Gwizdo) Don't be so furious, everyone takes care of their nerves in their own way.
(But what a personable scoundrel he is: even his hysterical chirping manages to sound pompous and masculine!)
(Lian-Chu) This tree couldn't have grown like that just from human bodies and souls... It was based on someone really huge and smart… someone whom Fibramorio trusted the most in his long life!
(Gwizdo) AH! So, that's where the rest of the fibramorios have gone?! (Lian-Chu) The background of the Chorus was voices similar to his. (Zoria) The crown burns, we can only push off from it with a sword! (Gwizdo) An overheated trap! Does anyone have a better plan?!(Zoria) Not at all, Gwizdo! Let's try to get to the place where the whispers are louder!
(Zoria) What can you see? (Gwizdo) A sea of frightening organic light bubbles. Do you like this? (Zoria) Sounds nice. Is there anything to push with a sword?
(An angry sibilant squawk from fibramorio)
(Lian-Chu) Guys, he's re-growing his moustache: the sun is fueling his powers!
(Gwizdo) Go back! I have a lot of dirt on you with me now: One more movement, and I'll send it to the Scientific Community! (Zoria) Gwizdo, first we must free all these souls and save ourselves!(Gwizdo) Zoe, I conduct aggressive negotiations, so don't interfere!
TO BE CONTINUED...
Part1--Part2--Part3--Part4--Part5--Part6--Part7--Part8--Part9(end)
#dh fan stories#dragon hunters secret 53th episode#gwizdo#lianchu#zoria#hector the dragon#gwizdo the bookworm#Lian Chu#zoe/zoria#never borrow hector's job in the dh world if possible#chasseursdedragons#chasseurs de dragons#dragon hunters#dragonhunters#cartoon
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Hey Cas, Arista here - i saw that you answered some asks so I was wondering if I could receive some big sisterly advice from you <333 because mood rn is LASKDHFSALJFHALSJHFSD and I just want to rant!!
I really don't know how to stop comparing myself to other people around me - I'm in my senior year and about to apply to university, and I KNOW i have to stop it because it's a losing game always always always, but then I don't know how to find peace within myself
Especially because we're in the midst of exams, where EVERYTHING is given a percentage, everyone will end up with universities with some better than others, and it's harder and harder to blur the lines between what's me and what's my scores and stuff. And, I'm quite ambitious and high achieving, but I feel like I always fall short of my goals and I just don't know how to STOP COMPARING MYSELF TO OTHER PEOPLE! I want to get good scores, I want to get into a good university, I want to be top of my class, but it seems like I can NEVER get there, and I don't even know what I want. I also think I crave validation from other poeople - it's all a big fucking mess and I really just don't know what to do!??!
I can't talk about this with anyone really - the second I mention something to my mum she quips back with the fact that I should be grateful for the opportunity to study etcetc which I AM I REALLY AM!!! but that doesn't make the pressure and my feelings any less valid? Like, ahhh literally about to cry AGAIN
Sorry for the long message :((( but I just needed to get it out to SOMEONE at least!!!
Ugh I understand this so much. It's hard because so much of high school and even university is based on numbers- your grades, your spot in your class, etc. But the thing I realized real fast is that after University, numbers don't matter nearly as much. I mean it depends on your career, but not once, in many job interviews, have I been asked about my GPA. Yes, these things matter. But only relatively. When you feel pressured, try to remind yourself of the big picture, you know? You, as a person, are more than the numbers that are used to define you.
But trust me, I get it <3
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getting shit together~
day 1/50 productivity challenge
26/august/2024 - monday
no school today so yay! i don't really have anything urgent to "catch up" on but i've fallen severely behind on my own study plan. considering i don't go to any extra tuition/coaching, i need to be disciplined in my time management and hold myself accountable to the reasonable plans i made for myself. i'm not in too deep though so all i need to do now is get back on track.
🕒 10:00 a.m.
morning skincare
extended duolingo streak
cleaned out email + photo gallery
practiced playing keyboard
enough is enough with my procrastination towards studying. i mean i even watch study motivation videos on youtube instead of studying! so i just made a cup of coffee and dived straight into work.
studied psychology ch-1: what is psychology?
something to say: the ncert psychology textbook is actual nonsense. thank god for my teacher, he actually explains each concept mentioned in the textbook and so much more. if it wasn't for his classes, i don't think i would have understood literally anything in the textbook. the fact that he's most probably leaving next year is kinda making me anxious because what if the next teacher is absolute shit. this is a subject that involves lots of theory and long lectures. my current teacher is very animated in his discussions and he also involves us students too. it's never a boring class. but if the next teacher is boring i will literally start hating the class, and i don't want that to happen considering i love this subject and am actually planning on pursuing it in the future.
also akjsdfhkjashgdjkg sigmund freud, that man, istg, is gonna haunt me for the rest of my life.
it really grates on my skin if my room is dusty. and that easy annoyance combined with being a maximalist who loves trinkets is not a good combination. the universe decided to make me a walking contradiction, in many areas of my life. i make it a thing to clean my room at least once every week.
cleaned my room
did a workout video (when the workout leaves you sore>>>)
i like to do the dusty and sweaty work before taking bath so that i feel clean for the rest of the day. also thank fuck my periods ended yesterday, i hate them so much ugh i never even want to be pregnant.
took bath
prepared for seminar for psychology
basically us students have to learn the 6th chapter and "teach" it to the teacher. since we're only 3 students, our teacher told us to divide the topics amongst ourselves. we're supposed to start tomorrow but my topic is probably not tomorrow since i'm doing the second part of three. i still want to start preparing. presentations always make me nervous but i know that if i'm prepared i don't do bad at all.
night skincare
🕒 12:30 a.m.
will probably get around 6 hours of sleep.
also, random warning/tip but don't trust the ai generated summary of answers that comes up first when you search anything on google. it just uses whatever phrases it can to make a coherent set of statements. but a lot of the time, it doesn't summarize correctly at all. click on the results of a legit website to at least quickly cross-check. do not take info solely from the ai tool.
#posting early cuz my mom legit cuts off the internet b4 sleeping 😀#mithistudies#study space#study hard#studying#academics#student life#student#studywithme#studystudystudy#studyspo#studyspiration#studyinspo#studygram#studyblr community#studyblr#study with me#study notes#study motivation#study inspo#study inspiration#study goals#study desk#study#new studyblr#mithi's own#fifty fixing
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Merman Kokushibou x Fem! Reader (PART 2)
PART2 IS HERE👑
You can't feel anything and you felt like you were floating on clouds 9. Blood drooling down to your temple. What happened? Where are the sailors? Are they okay? Where are they? Is max okay?
I dont remember…
"Don't forget me… And I won't forget you either… "
Huh? A voice? It sounds so different but i know its clearly a guy type. Who is it? It sounds like a melody to my ears.
You tried to process everything even in this unconscious state, trying to connect all of your cells back together.
"I would forever stare into your enchanting eyes… So beautiful.. Just like you… "
This is so heavenly to listen such a soft song, but am i dreaming? If not… Then who is it?
You feel yourself finally getting consciousness as you groaned a little, alerting the person who was singing. You pry yur eyes open slowly but your vision are still blurry and your head starts to get a headache making you even groan louder and louder by any seconds.
Suddenly you hear someone screaming, its man's voice and you recognize it. It was the knights and to mention, you hear a loud splash.
"She's alive! The princess is alive! Alert the king!"
👑
"I got myself weak again. " "… " "I wanna be yours, and you'll be mine. "
👑
Everything was going smoothly, birds singing and a sun was pretty bright outside making the flowers bloom beautifully. An unconscious princess was laying down to her bed, comfortably and peacefully.
You woke up with a headache and a bandage on your head. The sunlight illuminate the room brightly making you squint your eyes and groan in tiredness. Yur body felt weak and a little bit of in pain.
"W-what happened..?" You groaned before rubbing the temple of your head.
You hear your door slowly opening as you turn your head to it and saw your dad peeking his head and was shocked to see you fully awake as he immediately rushes at you with a grateful and a guilt expression and held both of your hands.
"My daughter!! You're awake! Dear god… Thank you! Im glad that you made it out alive.. " He spoke with such happiness and tears running down to his cheeks before looking down.
"I'm so sorry, my daughter… I'm so sorry that this happened to you because of me! If this stupid of mine didn't existed then you would be fine and good! I felt so bad for what you've gone through… "
He looked down as he sobs quietly, trying to gulp down his breakdown.
Your face went soft as you smiled before putting a hand on your father's head and patting it.
"I'm fine dad…. And i already forgave you, please don't ever feel ashamed of it." You said gracefully.
And that, both you and your father hugged, enjoying this moment together.
👑
The ocean was always so beautiful and bright, as if it was a second version of heaven. But deep inside, there was dark and evil under it and it's true,
The ocean can be both good and bad.
. . .
"You know… That human will never ever loved you back! Just look at yourself!"
"Shut your mouth, ugly eyes. You're annoying me. "
"Awhh!! Why are you both always so cold and mean to-"
"That doesn't matter to you, if i loved her then do not interfere because you're not apart of this."
"Oh… Is that so? Besides… Don't you think humans are all the same? Imagine if she sees your eyes! Would she be terrified?"
"Ugh, im leaving. This is just a waste of time. "
HII!! IM BACK! SORRY IF THIS WAS SHORT BUT TRUST ME, I'LL WORK EVEN MORE FASTER AND HARDER FOR YOU GUYS!!
PART 3 is in progress 👑
#kokushibo#kimetsu no yaiba#fanfiction#demon slayer fic#demon slayer#reader#kokushibo x reader#merman kokushibo x reader#princess reader#fantasy#ariel#Demonslayerfic#Merman kokushibo#King#Father#Ocean#good and bad#Kokushibou#kokushibou x reader
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