#ugh i cant believe i wrote this

[losttoliterature]

my brother and i used to be absolute menaces to each other and we still are but he's old enough now that we can also actually be friends. like last night our parents were out and we ate pizza and played xbox together and ate sweets we weren't supposed to have together and fucked around with each other and it was so nice to not fight i mean holy shit it was awesome. he was even enthusiastic about the new skirt i bought (which btw is so hobbitcore and i love it) and said that while it wasn't for him he could see how it suited me, and it was such a nice change from when he used to just call me and my clothes ugly all the time. and i was enthusiastic about his games, which i don't understand much but i am now able to happily watch and ask questions and it clearly makes him happy to explain stuff and he just came into to excitedly tell me about a new fortnite season and a video he wanted to show me about something he was going to learn to do on the game. when he came in, i closed my laptop to talk to him (and, admittedly, so he wouldn't know i was writing this) instead of fighting with him about keeping out of my room and we jumped in circles for no reason but the fact that it made us both laugh. he has been able to come to me with things that he doesn't feel comfortable to tell our parents and it makes me so happy he trusts me like that. and sure, we'll still fight, but at least not every interaction will be angry and if he ever sees this i will actually die, but i love him and like him now, rather than just the former.

tldr: my brother and i are finally friends with a mostly healthy relationship and it makes me happy

[dangans-ur-ronpas]

Chapter 20

alright guys hit the showers. or the bathhouse. wait hold on i left my computer boy in there. guys wait don't open that

SEE HERE FOR GENERAL WARNINGS AND FIC SUMMARY

Some pre-chapter notes:

wow i wrote 10 pages for chapter 19 but i better take it easy so i dont burn out (writes 11 pages for chapter 20) anyway guess who's taking a break after this chapter

this is the one with togiri development but they're extremely not normal about it so it's almost blink-and-you-miss-it

@digitaldollsworld <- betapilled readmaxxer

Content warning tags: mild violence and injury description (non-graphic), description of depression symptoms and nausea, mild mention of eating disorder

< previous - from start - next >

He’s not sure how long he sleeps for, only that he wakes up still-dressed and laid out across his bed, his mouth dry and head groggy, the bedroom lights still on. As he checks his handbook’s clock, he finds he’s entirely missed Monokuma’s morning announcement, which is a good thing; he had no desire to listen to that bear’s irritating voice, especially not today.

But, he doesn’t have much desire to do anything else either. The library no longer feels like the safe haven it used to be, and he had no interest in going anywhere else and running into anyone else, when the atmosphere was still thick with the deaths of two people, and pity that Byakuya didn’t want. Much less, the possibility of encountering Makoto, who was the last person he wanted to see, so to speak.

He lies in bed a moment longer, unwilling to move. Everything feels sluggish, like he’s moving underwater; even his head feels stuffed full with cotton and wool. It's a strange, unfamiliar feeling, and unpleasant, too.

Grief. He thinks blearily at first, before rolling his own eyes at the thought, and pushing himself up with a grunt. Such dramatics didn’t suit him. He wasn't the kind of person to spare such theatrics, regardless of his circumstances.

He showers, brushes his teeth, and half-debates whether to try his hand at shaving before ultimately deciding against it (it didn’t feel like his stubble should be that noticeable, yet). He forgoes changing into a clean uniform in favor of his pajamas, and collapses back into bed with a sigh, hand searching immediately for his handbook - but finding nothing but empty sheets.

“Hello, there!”

He jerks upright immediately. Standing in the foot of his bed is Monokuma, rocking back and forth and looking as innocent as could be. Or, would be, if not for the handbook clutched in its paw.

Byakuya dives for it without thinking, but his perception is off, and he crashes to the carpet instead with a grunt. Monokuma sidesteps him casually with a laugh. “Whoa, there! Easy partner, don’t wanna hurt yourself!” It dances around his head, infuriatingly out of reach. “Didja miss me that bad? If you wanna hug, you can just say so!”

“Give it back,” He snarls, as he picks himself up. He’s in no mood for its jokes. “Give me back my handbook!”

“Your handbook? My my, but these were all mine first, weren’t they?” It shakes a paw disapprovingly in his face. “I just need to check it real quick, after all. I didn’t expect Mister Fujisaki to go and Macgyver anything onto here, so if it’s anything malicious, I’ll have to do a quick wipey-wipe!” Byakuya makes another lunge, and it juggles the handbook out of his reach, hopping backwards with a mad cackle. “After all, if it’s anything naughty, there’s no way I can let it fall in the hands of my precious students!”

“You miserable little-” Byakuya tries to rise to his feet quickly, but he hasn’t eaten since yesterday, and a bout of dizziness crashes into him like a wave. He sways and braces himself against the mattress, one arm still reaching out clumsily to try and grab at Monokuma.

But the bear has already flipped it open, scrolling so quickly through the screens that the little automated voice can’t keep up, the words blurring together. “Schoo-Stu-App-Day-”

“Whoops, too far.” It scrolls back. “Applications, that’s what we wanna see. And, what’s this?”

Byakuya feels his blood run cold. There was only one application there, the one Chihiro had downloaded for him. Alter Ego. The app was inconspicuously named ‘Test_App’ in the interface itself, but if Monokuma opened it-

“Well well well. Let’s take a look-see!” It crows, and Byakuya’s protest is frozen in his throat. He shuts his eyes, expecting to hear Chihiro’s voice-

“Black to E5.”

He opens his eyes again. What?

Monokuma also seems confused, tilting its head as it stares at the little screen. “What’s this? A chessboard?”

“Black to E5,” Alter Ego repeats, so digitized and monotone it was nearly unrecognizable. “Would you like to review the board?”

“Is this all it is? A chess game?” Monokuma sounds almost disappointed. Byakuya, seeing his chance, surges forward, snatching the handbook back and snapping it closed. He presses it to his chest, feeling his heart thud beneath it.

“Is that a problem?” He demands, and Monokuma shrugs, shaking its head.

“I guess not, but I thought it’d be something spicy, y’know? You’re a growing boy, after all!” It reaches out to pat Byakuya’s knee, and he steps backwards just in time, lip curling in disgust. “Aw, don’t act so mean to your headmaster, you’ll give me a complex!”

“Get out.” He hisses. “You got what you came here for. Leave.”

“Oh, alright…you sure know how to make a bear feel glum...” It sighs, kicking at the carpet, before it makes its way to the door. “Take care, now! Make sure you eat something, y’hear? I don’t want any hunger strikes in this house! And-”

No sooner had Monokuma crossed the threshold, had Byakuya jumped up, and sped forward to slam the door with a resounding bang. He takes a moment to breathe, leaning against the wall, legs suddenly weak.

How the hell did that thing get inside my room? He was sure he had locked the door - or he should have locked it, at least. Looking back, he actually can’t remember, but he double and triple-checks now, suddenly paranoid. He also flips off the light for good measure, leaving the room in complete darkness before he crawls back into bed.

Beneath the covers, he opens his handbook, and squints until he can make out the pale green shape of Alter Ego’s face on the screen.

“Is he gone?” Alter Ego asks, and Byakuya relaxes, the tension flooding out of his shoulders.

“Yes.” He whispers back.

Alter Ego makes a sound like a sigh of relief. “I’m glad. I got so scared when he grabbed me.” And its voice sounds so much like Chihiro's that Byakuya feels a strange pressure behind his eyes.

“How did you know?” He asks. “That Monokuma was there?”

“I could hear it. Through the microphone.” He reaches up and touches the tiny pinprick grid of the speaker, and feels the buzz of Alter Ego’s voice against his fingertips. “I didn’t want you to get in trouble.”

“Don’t worry about me. I think he would’ve just deleted you as punishment for me anyway.” He sighs. And then frowns, as a thought comes to mind. “If you could eavesdrop from the microphone this whole time, then you already know…?”

He doesn’t finish his sentence. But he doesn’t need to. Alter Ego makes a quiet noise like a sigh. “Yes, I know.”

“I’m sorry.” And he’s surprised to find that he means it genuinely, and almost laughs at himself. Heartfelt apologies were rare for him, and here he was offering one to an AI, of all things.

“It’s okay. He knew it might happen,” Alter Ego replies, and he imagines it might be smiling, a sad, helpless smile. “There’s nothing we can do about it now.”

“No, I suppose not.”

They’re quiet for a moment. In the darkness, Byakuya can almost pretend that he’s normal - unable to see in the dark as everyone else is. But it’s also the middle of the day, and he’s too restless to sleep, too uneasy to go outside. Too tired to mourn. Too mournful to do anything else.

“Can you really play chess?” He asks instead.

“I can, along with checkers, shogi, and backgammon and more.” 

“Play a round of chess with me, then. I’m bored.”

“Okay!” Immediately, the pale blot of their face on the screen is replaced by a square. “I’ll play black. What’s your first move?”

He smiles to himself. “E2, pawn to E4.”

—

Hours pass like that. He plays chess with Alter Ego (three wins, four losses, and seven draws), and a few rounds of shogi (one win, one loss, and two draws) for good measure. And then, huddled over his desk with his back facing the camera, he pores over lines of Dostoevsky and Nietzsche until he feels too sick from staring at the letters to even hear Alter Ego’s voice, reciting the words aloud beneath a dim ringing in his ears.

By the time he’s pulled out of his concentration by the sound of a knocking at his door, he’s too nauseous to feel hungry, but his throat is stinging from lack of water and there’s a slight pulsing in his head. His immediate first reaction is to ignore it, but that proves to be impossible; whoever was on the other side was clearly, very persistent, and had nothing better to do.

Even so, he lasts a full five minutes until he finally gets up to answer, irritated beyond measure. If it was Makoto, he was going to slam it closed again, reasons be damned. He didn’t even want to think about the other boy, lest he get pointlessly enraged about it.

But instead of brown hair, he’s met with pale white. Kirigiri stands at his threshold, hand partially raised, halfway through knocking, and they stare at each for a moment in silence, as if both surprised to find the other person there.

And then he slams the door shut in her face. Or tries to - instead of the satisfying bang of wood meeting wood, there’s a sickly crunch, and then she’s wrenching the door open, heedless of the way her fingers had just been crushed in the jamb. He almost winces in sympathy, but she’s too busy pushing her way in to offer much room for condolences.

“What is wrong with you?!” He demands, trying not to be too obviously perturbed by her lack of reaction; he doesn’t think he even heard her wince. She ignores him for a moment, attention focused on her hand, as she experimentally clenches and unclenches her fingers. Apparently they’re not broken, or maybe, she just had high pain tolerance. Or she was more insane than he thought.

“We’re calling a group meeting,” She replies, without so much as a waver. “Come to the bathhouse.”

“And why should I?”

“It’s important. I can drag you there if I have to.” It doesn’t sound like an empty threat either. Somehow, she seems impatient, though he’s not sure how he can tell; and it wasn’t just because she shoved her hand into the door in order to deliver the message.

He weighs his options - on one hand, he has no desire to speak with anyone, much less Makoto, who was bound to be there. On the other hand, he didn’t exactly have anything in the way of provisions in his room, and though he was still a little too light-headed to consider eating, it’d be embarrassing to collapse from dehydration at this point. That, and it seemed that Kirigiri had no intention of letting him refuse.

“...I’m going to get dressed first.” He says shortly. If he’s going to have to meet them, it will not be while he’s still in his pajamas.

“Hurry up.”

She makes no move to leave, and he realizes with no small amount of annoyance that she was making sure he wouldn’t be able to run or shut her out again. Somewhat affronted by this, and now wanting to go even less, he grabs a clean set of clothes from his dresser and goes to the bathroom.

Routine carries his hands through the motions, so he manages it relatively quick, but it’s only after he’s applying the finishing touches, that he nearly pokes himself in the eye as he reaches to adjust his glasses. It’s a strange sensation, feeling the bridge of his nose and finding nothing, and even though his original prescription was low and they were more an accessory than anything, he feels a little like he’s lost a limb.

She’s still there when he emerges, though now standing over his desk, bent over the books he has open. She looks up as he approaches, one hand halfway through turning a page.

“What?” He asks, chin turned up in challenge.

“Nothing. Just looking.” She closes the book, and he realizes, scandalized, that it was the one he was reading earlier. It was going to take him ages to find that page again. “You have predictable tastes.”

“Shut up. Are we going or not?”

He follows her out, his hands twitching all the while, smoothing down his shirt, his lapels, his sleeves. Making sure his buttons were lined up, that his shirt was tucked; he hadn’t had the time to put on garters or even try a hand at his tie, and he feels underdressed.

“You’re fine.” Kirigiri says suddenly, and he freezes, one hand resting on the button of a shirt cuff. “Stop fidgeting.”

He scowls. He was walking behind her, so what would she know. “I’m not fidgeting.”

“I can hear you fidgeting. Your buttons are fine.”

“Oh, can you hear my buttons now too?”

It’s a petty, childish remark, one that he can’t stop himself from muttering before he can even reconsider it. She stops at that, halting so suddenly in the middle of the hallway that he almost walks right into her, and turns around to face him, her head moving in a slow tilt from up to down - scanning me, he realizes - before she says: “You look fine. Are you quite done?”

She was checking for me. He’s not sure if he should feel grateful for the courtesy or irritated by her lack of grace. “Did the sound bother you that much?” He asks instead, patting down the front of his shirt one last time.

“...It wasn’t the sound.” Is all she says, with a sort of finality that indicated that no other questions would be answered on the topic.

They enter the bathhouse, and find everyone else there, gathered in a sort of semi-circle around the wall of lockers. Asahina and Ogami, predictably, are huddled close together on one of the benches. Celeste and Yamada sit on another bench, one fidgeting uneasily, the other sitting regally with legs crossed and hands folded. Hagakure is standing next to Owada, who doesn’t even stir when they walk in, and who Byakuya ignores in turn, gaze sliding past him uncomfortably. Fukawa hangs near the back of the group, and twitches when she sees him, though makes no move to approach.

Makoto is leaning against the lockers with hands tucked in his pockets. He looks up as they enter, and stands up straight immediately. “Ah-”

“We’re all here?” Kirigiri cuts him off, casting a glance around the room. “Good. Can you catch him up, Hina?”

“R-right,” Asahina looks between Kirigiri and Byakuya, then at Makoto, and seems to hesitate for a moment. “Um, so…last night, I couldn’t sleep, so I thought I’d go to the kitchen to get food. But on the way there, I heard something coming from the bathhouse - like, a weird, machine-y kind of sound? - and when I went in…”

She peters off. He raises an eyebrow, “And?”

“Uh, it’s going to sound a little ridiculous...”

“You act like nothing else is ridiculous about this situation. Get on with it.”

Her face flushes dark, embarrassed. He gets the feeling that Ogami is glaring at him, but since he can’t see it - and has no reason to act like he can see it, anyways - he ignores it easily.

“Right. I saw a ghost - I know it was a ghost,” She adds defensively, as Byakuya was preparing to scoff and roll his eyes. “It was glowing green and floating in front of the lockers, and…and it had Chihiro’s face.”

“That’s-” not a ghost, he’s about to say, but he stops, suddenly uncertain. The bathhouse had no cameras, but he wasn’t sure if Alter Ego’s existence should be revealed here, now, to everyone, especially given some of the individuals present. His hand reaches into his jacket pocket, where his handbook was. “That’s…and you’re sure it was Chihiro?”

She seems taken aback by how seriously he asks that, and nods quickly. “I know it was Chihiro! It was his face and everything!” She points in front of her, at a locker less than two meters away from her eye level. The exact locker, Byakuya thinks, where Chihiro was keeping his laptop.

He wonders if Makoto was thinking this too.

“...I highly doubt the existence of ghosts,” He sighs. There was no point trying to hide it with Kirigiri around, and better to do it now than later. “Instead of being in front of the locker, I think the thing you saw was inside it.”

He turns to the locker Asahina had indicated, and moves to unlock it - before realizing he doesn’t know how. If it was unlocked by key, he didn’t have it, and if by code it was even more impossible. But Kirigiri steps forward, nudging his arm out of the way, and the locker door clicks open under her hand.

Sitting inside is the laptop, its screen dark. After a moment, it hums to life, flickering green. A round, pale shape forms, and behind him, Byakuya hears someone gasp.

“Hello,” Alter Ego says, and their voice is clearer through the computer than through Byakuya’s handbook, and sounds so similar to Chihiro’s that it’s almost jarring. “It’s nice to meet everyone!”

Hagakure shrieks, arms thrown up in fear. “A g-g-gh-!”

“It’s not a ghost,” Byakuya cuts him off sharply. “It’s a program.”

“Yes, and it looks like something Chihiro made.” Kirigiri touches the keys lightly. “This computer was the broken one from the library. And the fact that it was placed here, out of sight of the mastermind, means that it was meant for us.”

“So, this is what I saw last night…” Asahina’s tone doesn’t sound uneasy anymore, but wondering, and she raises a tentative hand as the little Chihiro in the screen waves at her. “But, what is it?”

“You just asked, ‘what is it,’ right?” Alter Ego says, almost teasingly, making her and several others jump. “The short answer is, I’m an AI program based on as much of Chihiro Fujisaki’s personality, memories, and thoughts as he managed to transcribe into data…um, but if it’s easier for you, you can call me Alter Ego. I was made to try and break through the firewall around the school’s network and to analyze the files on this computer, but it’s been taking a long time. I’m only about 25% done.”

25%? That was already more than Byakuya expected, and he feels a thin, inexplicable strum of pride.

“Crazy…hey, isn’t this crazy?” Yamada is up from his seat, and sitting as close as he can, crouching on his heels to be eye-level with the screen. “This is so- so totally sci-fi, right? Isn’t the genre wrong?” He sounds excited, overly so, and his breath is a little fevered and fast. “Hey, Chihiro! Can you hear us?”

Alter Ego doesn’t respond. Byakuya suddenly remembers the night that Chihiro was installing the application on his handbook and how Alter Ego only ever responded after the sound of keystrokes. “You have to type what you want to say in order for it to respond.”

“Move.” Yamada scurries out of Kirigiri’s way, as she drops to a crouch in front of the open locker. There’s the sound of fingers clicking over keys, and then -

“It will take me a while longer to finish analyzing everything,” Alter Ego says aloud, a little sheepishly. “I can definitely finish it though! Actually, progress is moving faster than originally predicted, so you can leave it to me!”

“My, how dependable.” Celeste remarks. “It seems that Chihiro has left us an invaluable gift, does it not?”

“It’s…pretty crazy,” Hagakure agrees, scratching his head. “Wait, uh - can Alter Ego get online? Like can we call for help from outside?”

“Hmm, probably not.” Asahina hums in thought, crossing her arms. “We’re in a bathhouse after all.”

“Then, if we take it outside of here-”

“No.” Kirigiri says flatly. “We can’t take any risks. Taking it outside might mean that the mastermind will discover it.”

“Yeah, but, I think it’s better to get help sooner than later. You know…” He pauses for a moment, tilting his head pointedly towards Owada. Throughout this whole time, the Ultimate Biker Gang Leader had been as still as a mouse, face turned downwards towards the floor. Hagakure clears his throat awkwardly. “Can’t we try it?”

There’s a sharp tap as Celeste laces her fingers, rings clicking together. “As stated earlier. We cannot take unnecessary risks. And we are not in the position to be pointlessly altruistic.” Her tone is casual, but Hagakure seems to shrink away from her, defeated.

“I…okay. Fine, sure.” He scratches at his head, then pauses. “Ah, wait a minute. Does Alter Ego, like, know…?

His question peters off, but the implication hangs over them like a heavy fog. Byakuya watches them cast uneasy glances at each other, then back to Alter Ego, as if trying to figure out who should break the news.

“It already knows.” He mutters. He’s not trying to be loud, but in the silence everyone could hear it anyways.

“...Not to say you’re lying or anything, Byakuya, but how do you…?”

Instead of answering Hagakure out loud, he reaches into his jacket pocket and withdraws the handbook, flipping it open and holding it up, screen facing them. Someone gasps.

“Yes,” Alter Ego confirms their unspoken question, and its voice echoes uncannily, doubled between the laptop and his handbook. “Master made it so I can be accessed through Byakuya’s handbook, so I could assist him with his visual impairment. I can also access the microphone function on this device, so I was able…I was able to overhear what happened”

The little, buzzing voice trails off sadly, and Byakuya suddenly feels uncomfortable, as the room grows all the more dreary. He clicks the handbook closed, suddenly irritated.

“That should explain it.“ He sighs. “Chihiro built Alter Ego to try and help find a way out of here, and at the same time gave me access so I could be self-sufficient. That’s the extent of my knowledge about it.”

He looks up and finds nearly all of them with their faces tilted towards him, and shifts, disconcerted. “What?”

“Nothing…it’s just kinda sweet that you’re, like, telling us this yourself.” Hagakure, ridiculously, sounds almost happy about this. “You never really talked to us about yourself before.”

“There’s no point in being secretive about it. Not when I was already forced to reveal it during the trial.” He sniffs. Immediately, Hagakure looks away, chagrined. From Byakuya’s periphery, he can see Makoto still facing away, his ears turning pink.

Kirigiri clears her throat. “...For the time being, it’s clear that we need to ensure Alter Ego remains a secret from the mastermind.” She says, and Byakuya watches as she types something out, a thick line of black characters. Every few keystrokes, she stops, and deletes the last word in a series of light clicks; listening closer, the sound was awkward and irregular, each press slurring into the next key. With a slight twinge of guilt, he realizes that the cause of it was her left hand - the one he had practically crushed.

After a moment’s consideration, weighing his conscience with what was at stake, he nudges her slightly with his knee. “Move. You type too slow.”

“And how would you know that?”

“I can hear it.” He replies flatly. “You type like you’re all thumbs. Move over.”

He half-expects her to stay where she is, to ignore him and continue, but to his surprise she actually complies, standing up and stepping aside. He crouches into the space she had just abandoned, sliding his hands over the keyboard until his index fingers find the tiny, tell-tale grooves of the position keys. The size and dimensions are different from his computer at home, but for a moment the feeling is so familiar that he’s almost nostalgic.

“What did you want to ask again?”

“If it has any contingency measures in place for if Monokuma - or the mastermind, or anyone suspicious - happens to find it.”

His fingers skim over the keys, clicking fluidly. A thin line of black appears at the bottom of the screen in time to his movements, but he can’t confirm if the output is accurate; judging by the way Makoto gasps behind him, and the way Hagakure whistles, he can guess that it’s more or less correct.

“Impressive,” Celeste says, in an appreciative tone. “I suppose being such an esteemed heir means you have many talents.”

He can’t tell if she’s mocking him, so he decides to ignore her, though he allows himself a small amount of smugness. He finishes typing: “Is this what you wanted to ask?”

Instead of replying, Kirigiri leans over his shoulder and clicks the ‘enter’ button. After a moment’s pause:

“Hm, to be honest, so far I’ve just been trying to be reeeally careful with when I’m active…though I guess that backfired last night, with me scaring Aoi.” Alter Ego hums in thought. “But, I do have a secret plan! If anyone comes around who I don’t recognize on my webcam…I’ll scream super loud!”

“That’s so basic!” Asahina blurts out, shocked by the simple nature of it.

“Yes, and it’s not likely to work at night.” Ogami grumbles. “The bedrooms are soundproofed.”

“Maybe we can try taking turns staying up?” Makoto suggests. “I can take the first night, I don’t mind…”

“I think such a sudden change in our patterns is likely to draw suspicion from the mastermind. Which would be rather counterproductive.” Celeste says, and Makoto ducks his head immediately. “Though, your thoughtfulness is appreciated.”

“Then it can’t be helped.” Kirigiri sighs. “I’ll leave my door open. I’m at the end of the hallway anyways, so if anything happens, I should be able to react the quickest.”

What a crazy woman. “You’d leave yourself vulnerable?” He scoffs. After all the precautions he’s seen her take, it’s hard to imagine her sacrificing herself to any degree.

“It’s a risk I’m willing to take. Besides, I’m not so helpless. I have no intention of going down without a fight.” She pauses, mouth open like she’s about to say more, before she decides against it. “Anyways. We should avoid any mention or contact with Alter Ego as much as possible, to draw as little attention as we can.”

She claps her hands sharply, a sound that makes more than one person jump, and makes Byakuya almost flinch. “For the time being…let’s disperse.”

< previous - from start - next >

[xanderscollection]

how we coping folks

[bluefaewren]

so i did write 50k words in just over three weeks, which is quite the accomplishment (i loved this word count tracker)!

i was attempting to predict how many words i have left in my fic so i can finish it before i go to college. at first, i estimated 35k words. around the ten day mark, i realized that it was actually going to be closer to 50k to finish it (many of those red boxes were once green 😔).

but now that i have officially hit the limit, and the fic is just over 178 thousand words, i can confidently say that... it needs another 10k and may not get finished. ugh

[star-dust-shark]

pjo characters as weird and dumb things me and my friends have said

Percy: what the fuck is cockblocking like I can't block ur cock on Snapchat

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Will: UUUUUUUGH MY ASS HURTS- ooh look a butterfly

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Leo: I CANT FIND MY PRETTY STICKER- AW FUCK- SHIT- MY VAGINA- OOAOoOoOOooAHAHHAgh

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Jason: I can't actually believe I just agreed with you but hey here we are

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Reyna: why the fuck am I friends with any of you hoes

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Piper: should I...? too late I did it

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Will: the best way to rizz someone up is by rizzing them up *turns to friend, winks horribly* hey baby girl

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Rachel: one sec getting my anger out *aggressively splatters paint on canvas*

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Annabeth: sometimes I'm smart. When I'm smart, I'm smart. *awkward thumbs up and grimace*

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Octavian: fuck the gays they should all die ... I mean I could fuck some gays

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Hazel: I'll make you tea but not in a sweet way I'll make it so hot in burns your tongue and you can't speak for a week

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Frank: hey guys check me out I'm a furry on drugs *WOOOF WOOF BARK BARK BARK WOOF WOOF*

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Grover: I love plants :3 specifically magic mushrooms but like

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Leo: I mean I would totally fuck you but like respect man

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Will: Ugh fuck my life I hate everything *coldplay starts playing* I retract the previous statement I fucking love life

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Jason: UGH UR ALL SO DUMB but I'm in

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Nico: if u wanna kys clap ur hands *rapidly claps hands*

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Piper: *hypnotizes u with my beautiful blue orbs* come over to my house

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Hazel: respectfully hope you die <3

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Frank: I'm on acid what's it called when a ton of cats jump on each other a dog pile or a cat pile

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Reyna: OH THANK GOD- sike I don't believe in that motherfucker hahahha

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Annabeth: I'm so smart *holds up the one good test I got in school* see the teacher even gave me an 11/10 because I wrote my name in a cool font

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Leo: UUUUUGGGGGHHHH IM SO HORNY- *mom walks in* oh hi mom how are you

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Will: we can just... fuck. as friends though no homo.

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Rachel: IF I DON'T DRAW SOMETHING IN THE NEXT FEW MINUTES I AM GOING TO MAUL SOMEONE

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Octavian: you all suck and I hate you *silence* no wait come back

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Someone: haha ur gay

Nico: yeah??? and ur not?? like don't knock it until you try it dick is yummy man

-

Hazel: someone just told me what smearing is and honestly I kinda wanna die *fix you by coldplay starts playing* LMAO WTF

-

Frank: you sad ass emo dog just be happy

-

Percy: I Am OnE wiTh ThE oCeAn AnD HopEfuLLy aLL oF ThE hOt MerPeOpLe In iT

-

Leo: *talking to literally nobody* hey guys!! gonna go get my top surgery! *shows up at claires*

-

Reyna: I only wanna die sometimes and that's normal right

RIGHT

-

Will: *playing guitar* haha look guys I'm fingering A minor *strums violently*

-

Jason: screw men *eyes widen* I should start taking my own advice ngl

-

Will: *listening to a playlist that Nico made him* ugh my emo ass boyfriend and his stupid music I hate him *proceeds to write his name over and over again in diary with hearts around it*

-

Nico: what if I strangle someone with a pair of earbuds

Will: please don't

-

Leo: *in demonic voice* LeAf *eats it*

-

Nico: *pulls gay flag out of pocket* omg it's u

Will: *shuffles around in pocket, finds condom* ... it's u, vanilla flavoured

-

Leo: my name's Leo

Percy: and I like jugs

Nico: I'm mentally ill

Leo: and I'm on drugs :D

-

Jason: is there anything better than pussy

Piper: I thought you where gay

Jason:

Jason: my boyfriend's trans?

-

Will: the temptation to fuck an emo boy rn is killing me

-

Leo: the masculine urge to

Leo:

Leo: I forgor

-

Will: that's good!

Nico: like me in bed

*silence*

-

Leo: smash or pass Ryan Gosling

Nico: SMASH

Will: PASS

Solangelo: *glares at each other*

-

Nico: omg stop with that song

Will: but

Will: but you can take me hot to go :(

-

Annabeth: yeah

Percy: yeah

Annabeth: *in funny voice* yeah

Percy *hentai moan* yEEEAAAaaH

-

Leo: *pointing at Nico* EEEEEEWWWW AN EMOOOOOO EWWW

-

Jason: never ever look up what an eyesha erotica lyric means

Reyna:

Reyna: oh you poor soul *pats back*

-

Nico: I can't breathe

Will: just

Will: breathe air

Nico: I breathe drugs

-

Piper: I'm gonna go play basketball

Leo: haha play with my balls

Jason: already do

Leo: *chokes on air*

well that's all sorry for the torture, thanks to @localcosplaymushroom, @crowwolf8, @justagremlinoncaffeine, and @secret-mewtwo for all of the funny convos that went into this

[hwsing]

more nsfw for england please (i dont really need anything specific i just wanna know ur take on him) 🙏

what the brit’s like in bed

notes: 18+, reader is afab and gender neutral. includes: england (arthur kirkland) as always, reblogs are appreciated!

cw: this is more blabbing than a coherent fic; discussion of arthur present and past. reader is described like they’re mortal for the majority of this. arthur is perverted; both soft and hard sex mentioned, very light bondage, blowjobs and cunninglings, mostly dom!arthur, phone sex, panty stealing, voice kink, roleplay, mention of spanking, daddy kink, body worship, praise. wc: about 1.6k. not proof read

in the modern day, arthur is… old. even if you hc him to still look like a twink, (cant say i agree but moving on,) spiritually and mentally he is old. he’s seen many many things — including quite a bit of sex. he’s by no means a stranger to it; don’t let his prudish attitude these days fool you. he’s gone through quite a few eras of his life where he viewed sex far more carelessly than he does now. although, even know, i dont think he’s quite uptight about it as one would think.. it’s just that he has standards now. he’d probably put it like that. whereas, back in the day, he probably viewed sex as something of a conquest. now, he sees it more as a connection between two (or more — although i do think he’s monogamous) people. that connection doesn’t have to be love — sometimes, it’s just a need for another body. arthur is a romantic deep down, though. likely because there’s been so many eras in his life when he was anything but romantic, he can’t help but crave it nowadays.

that being said, arthur now 100% believes in making love. i’m talking the whole 10 yards; he’ll hold your hands as he rocks his hips into yours, meticulous about fucking you deep and slow, even cooing at you. his heart feels heavier than it ever has before when you look up at him so sweetly; he almost always makes you cum at least once or twice before you even have sex with his fingers and mouth — both to tease you a bit and to prep you to be easier to fuck. as much as arthur often treats you like glass, he can’t help but take advantage of your dependence on him during times like this.

maybe it’s something left over from his olden days. something in him that craves ego and control; but……. how is he supposed to not get a bit of a power treat as he coaxes you onto your knees, having tied your wrists together with his belt, leaving you to sit obediently looking up at him? his face always feels so hot as he gets so much attention, but you’ll hardly see a peak of a blush as you suck him off. he especially likes when he’s still in his office wear clothes. the suits and all that, you know, the sleek shoes… really sets in the mood for him. if he’s feeling particularly mean that day, he’ll even suggest you get yourself off on his shoe as you sit there. watching you shyly try to grind yourself on his shoe, only to start pathetically rutting when you finally get close; he almost forgets his cock is shoved down your throat as he cums, his hards keeping your head there for a moment as you whine, forcing you to swallow his load. i already wrote about how he likes to go down on his partner here, so go read that if you havent yet <3

arthur is a pretty busy guy. he’s more involved in his country’s politics than some of the other nations, which leads to him working a lot… sometimes overseas. or, worse, you guys are already a long distance couple as it is (don’t worry, though. regardless, he’ll want you to move in by year three, and that’s the long guess; when arthur is in love, he’s in love.) basically, there’s bound to be times when you’re away from each other quite a bit. arthur would probably rather die than show himself as clingy — ugh, even thinking about it makes his brow furrow. and so, he may or may not have discreetly taken a pair of used underwear with him… just for when he really needs it! he’s not some perverted demon, okay? he can use his own imagination… it’s just… it’s so much easier with your used panties wrapped around his cock as he pumps… of course he took a sniff first to help him really picture the scene — stop, he’s not weird! the next night, though, he’s likely to call you up. first, it’s a pretty normal call, but he transitions the conversation to what he wants with a surprising amount of smoothness. maybe it’s just his voice that can easily coax you to do as he wants — oh, right. if you have a thing for his voice at all — and i meant at all, he will pick up on it and 100% use it against you.

he’s bigger on dirty talk than he’d like to admit. he just can’t help it — especially over the phone, what else is he supposed to do?!! his usually stable voice is almost breathy as he tells you what to do; he’s guiding you through the entire thing. if you whine at all about how you can’t do it like he can, he’s so quick to encourage you. various petnames like love, darling, and good girl/boy/etc are falling off his tongue as he coos you. it makes his heart flutter and dick twitch when you’re the needy one.

he’s always going to tease you about it a bit, especially if you’re shy about it. he’ll show faux sympathy for the way you blush and look away, grasping your face back to look at him; “what ever could have you so worked up like this, i wonder?” he’ll ask, tilting his head as he looks at you with a knowing, smug smile tugging at his thin lips. when you murmur about how he shouldn’t tease, he’ll claim that he was only asking an honest question. he’ll encourage you, saying that if there’s you want, you’ll have to use your words. when you inevitably say you want him to fuck you, or that you want his cock, he’ll chuckle, the cheekiest blush dusting lightly over his cheeks. “oh, that’s what you’re after, is it?” he muses, unbuckling his belt. “ask for it properly, then.”

as you can imagine, arthur quite like titles. he doesn’t think it’s something he really needs, but when you whimper for daddy or even sir, perhaps master if the situation calls for it, he almost cums every time. arthur tries pretty hard to stay as the one in control, but you make it awfully hard for him to not bend you over the kitchen table and take you when you start to use the term so causally. in private, of course. he’d probably die if you ever called him that in public. he definitely thinks its a very… intimate matter, so it would catch him quite off guard for you to say it outside of the bedroom but still inside the comfort of your own home. he’ll look over at you, jaw clenching as he sees your pretend innocence, smiling at him as if you only called him dear. what a tease — he can’t have that, of course. seems like you’ll need some discipline.

on a lighter note, arthur really does love your body, whatever that may look like. at his age, any sense of a physical type has sort of faded, anyways. he’ll take his time to kiss all over you, groping you ad sweetly as one can as he tells you how beautiful you are. he can find it a bit difficult to express how much he loves you sometimes, but he’s adamant on making sure you can feel how much he cherishes you during such intimate moments. he finds himself quite flustered if you ever do it back; kissing along his neck as you unbutton his shirt, whispering about how much you need him while palming his cock, telling him how good he makes you feel; he thinks about it for weeks after, though. totally worth it.

i almost forgot! arthur is a very creative and imaginative person. while he does always imagine you as you, some of the sexual power dynamics that develop in the relationship can’t help but make him wonder… what if you were his servant? he’ll get you a maid or butler outfit or whatever you want — it’ll be a slightly more skimpy version, of course, but still realistic enough for him to have his fantasy. the scene would probably go something like; you’re his new servant, who’s a bit of a mess but means well. he comes home from a particularly stressful day at work, and after you spill the tea you were going to serve him, he spanks you as punishment. he gets really into it — of course, lots of aftercare, don’t even worry about that. he’ll be a bit apologetic about the marks lingering on the flesh of your ass for the days to come, but he also definitely feels a certain type of way about it. he doesn’t love any obvious marks — not today, anyways. punk arthur and pirate arthur were probably more into hickies littering their partners neck, but modern arthur thinks it’s trashy… so secret marks like this, that no one else but him can see? when you sit down and wince a little, and he’s the only one that knows why? woo!

[mjshortformcjesus]

OK LOOOONG POST (i ranked all the saw traps except for the spiral ones)

starting with the worst and i’ll work my way up :3

74. lawnmower trap (saw 3d) because its boring and stupid

73. edgar munsen’s trap (jigsaw). this whole movie sucks ass but. the lack of filter on like this whole scene pisses me the fuck off

72. shotgun chair (saw v) idek it just sucks

71. hangman’s noose (saw 3d i believe) its really boring and basicccc

70. cyanide box (saw 3d) boring as hell im afraid

69. sentry gun (saw 3d) its kinda funny i suppose???

68. hoffmans ugly fucking rbt (saw vi) its fucking ugly

67. suspended cage (saw 3d) i would survive this no problem

66. chain hangers (jigsaw) i dont care for it and the needles and i hate it

65. spike trap (saw iv) its good i think its just like the one trap i cant watch :/

64. scalping chair (saw iv) idkkkk its justs like boring and yawn (really funny on 2x speed though)

63. grain silo (jigsaw) lordddd its badddd

62. electrified staircase (saw ii) i think this would fix my knees but like. the way its filmed lowkey sucks

61. public execution (saw 3d) good golly this one ugh. i think it couldve been good if it werent a stupid reason to get put in a trap

60. drill chair (saw i) lost points for being named jeff

59. shotgun keys (jigsaw) funny. i suppose

58. shotgun hallway (saw i) i liked sing ;-;

57. freezer room (saw iii) slow ass fucking jeff

56. cycle trap (jigsaw) not a personal fav but the corpse is really funny

55. brazen bull (saw 3d) diy top surgery ig but the wife didnt deserve that

54. ceiling jars (saw v) they couldve all fIT IN THERE

53. antidote safe room (saw ii) i hate xavier and i dont really enjoy when he cut the back of his neck off :/

52. electric bathtub (saw v) i liked the lady that got zapped ;-;

51. razor box (saw ii) its good but also akdjdjosjeoskdo

50. disembowelment (saw x) wooble wooble wooble

49. gas chamber (saw x) i hate cecilia so sos os os so much

48. oxygen crusher (saw vi) its a wee bit fucked up ngl

47. buckets room (jigsaw) personally i dont like it very much but @w3bcu1t does and i love her

46. neck tie trap (saw v) LMAO THE DECAPITATION

45. pipe bomb (saw x) ughhh its good but ughhhh

44. zep’s test (saw i) idek yall

43. magnum eyehole (saw ii) yea

42. spine cutters (saw iv) i liked art…

41. bedroom trap (saw iv) its icky but well done

40. horsepower trap (saw 3d) all i wrote for this was “lur lur lur” idk what that means

39. leg wires (jigsaw) ://////

38. wisdom teeth combo (saw 3d) the peanuts :3

37. jeff’s final test (saw iii) kajsisjslkaksndkd

36. razor wire maze (saw i) man oh man its a classic

35. the furnace (saw ii) :3

34. steam maze (saw vi) yea

33. exploding puppet (saw iv) OWAGHH lindseyyy

32. pig vat (saw iii) juice

31. flammable jelly (saw i) ngl its just for the name

30. knife chair (saw iv) hehe ha

29. eyeball vaccuum (saw x) slurrrppppp

28. silence circle (saw 3d) i wont explain myself

27. nerve gas house (saw ii) lowkey this trap fucks hard. easily the best group trap

26. laser collars (jigsaw) listen. i know it sucks. idc

25. the cubeeee (saw v) in my cube. straight up breathing it. and by “it” well haha lets justr say. neck air

24. classroom trap (saw iii) again. my notes just say “lur lur lur”

23. brain surgery (saw x) pabdodjeokeow

22. impalement circle (saw 3d) i…have no idea

21. radiation (saw x) gabrielaaaaa

20. bloodboarding (saw x) ITS SO AINSOEMEPW

19. pendulum (saw v) he-he got cut in half lmao

18. acid room (saw vi) tghe fucking body melting??? PEAK

17. bathroom trap (saw i) gay people

16. ice block trap (saw iv) fuck eric amiright

15. venus fly trap (saw ii) i loveee this one but poor michael probably didnt deserve that

14. shotgun collar (saw iii) live. laugh. lesbian.

13. pound of flesh (saw vi) this is a classic and i love it sm

12. the gallows (saw vi) AMERICAN HELATHCARE

11. shotgun carousel (saw vi) USA 🇺🇸🇺🇸🇺🇸🦅🦅🦅🦅!!!!!

10. 10 pints of sacrifice (saw v) when- when the hands do the flappy i lose my shit

9. amanda’s test (saw iii) ANSOSJOSJknosjoskijsi&/918Jwboajaosj

8. needle pit (saw ii) isjsisjsoajaoanoak

7. reverse bear trap (saw i and 3d) amajda ambda andbaa mandy ambda amanda (and jill i suppose)

6. mausoleum (saw iv) mmmmmmmmmm

5. eric’s test (saw ii) oh goodness. i fucking hate eric matthews.

4. bone marrow (saw x) i really like this one

3. glass coffin (saw v) silly haha

2. the rack (saw iii) THE PRACTICAL EFFECTS RAHHHHH

angel trap (saw iii) i loveee kerry i loveee the effects i loveee the rats on her in saw iv i loveee amanda appearing as kerry’s ribs get ripped open

yayayaya i did it. yall can ask if you have questions :3

[natsglorifiedsimp]

Super tits?

Wanda x reader :)

Here is the fic you've been asking for.

I didn't put a taglist cause IDK if you'll like it

"Delivery!" someone shouted at the door. You furrowed your eyebrows. Who ordered food?

"Babe!" you called out. "Did you order food?"

"No!" Wanda shouted back, still enjoying her shower.

"Who the hell is this?" you whispered to yourself. You opened the door and plastered a smile on your face. "Hello," you awkwardly said.

Receiving deliveries wasn't your thing. It was Wanda's. So you never knew what to say.

"Delivery from an anonymous person," the delivery man said. You furrowed your eyebrows more. "Anonymous?"

The man nodded. He gave the flowers to you and wrote something in his notes and left you with a typical ‘Have a nice day’.

"Who was it?" Wanda sneaks behind you. "Jeez!" you jumped. "Don't scare me like that!" you scowled.

Wanda chuckled. "Sorry," she feigns.

Your scowl turned to a cheeky smile.

"What?" Wanda asked confused. "Why are you smiling like that?"

"Anonymous delivery?" you showed her the flower she ordered. "Thank you" you shyly said, swaying like a kid.

Wanda furrowed her eyebrows, "I did not order that" she deadpanned.

"Oh please," you rolled your eyes. "Cut the act." you examined the flower and noticed a small letter. "A letter too huh?" you smirked at Wanda. "Very romantic." you chuckled.

Wanda curiously looked at the letter, "That's not my handwriting," she coldly said.

A flower for the most beautiful girl in the world. Get ready tonight ;)

-S.T.

"S.T? Who's that? Super Tits?" you mocked looking at your girlfriend.

"I did not get that for you" she deadpanned.

You furrowed your eyebrows, "Then who gave this to me?"

"I don't know" she shrugged. "Maybe your mistress"

You whipped your head to the brunette, "My what now?"

"Guessing I'm always gone for missions you decided to do some extracurricular activities." she coldly gaze at you.

"You don't seriously think I have a mistress" you scoffed.

"THEN WHO'S THAT FROM?" she shouted.

"I DON'T KNOW!" you shouted back. "I thought it was from you. Why would I even say thank you to you if I know it's from someone else?"

"I don't know" she shrugged. "For a cover up"

"It's not from my mistress and I don't have one," you annoyingly said. "I can't believe you're blaming me for having one" you sighed.

"Tell that to the flower" she slammed the door on her way out.

"Wand-" you cut yourself off. "But I don't know who gave this to me" you exasperatedly sighed.

After a few minutes of pondering, someone knocked at your door again.

"I swear if this is another-"

"Did someone deliver a flower here?" Tony asked. You angrily gazed at Tony. "What? What did I do?"

"Is this yours?" you said holding the flower out.

"Yes." he snatched the flower from you. "It was supposed to be delivered at Pepper's office," he said while straightening the bouquet.

"We had a full-blown argument because of this" you panicked. "and you're telling me it's from you."

"Ugh why did they put S.T. instead of T.S." he grumbled.

"YOU!" you paused. "WILL HELP ME FIND WANDA"

You dragged confused Tony out of the compound.

---

You've been driving around the area. Even examined all the crevices of the compound but no Wanda was found.

You hated fighting and you hated when you can't find Wanda anywhere without even a text or a call back from her.

"Tony" you hiccuped. "What's the use of your advanced technology? You cant find Wanda" you sobbed.

You've been wailing and panicking in the back of the car for the past few hours because you cant find Wanda anywhere.

"I'm sorry, I'm trying. Wanda has powers you know." Tony tried to comfort you but it made you sob more.

"I want Wanda" you wailed. You lay down on the seats and rested in a fetal position.

Tony didn't know what to do and decided to spam Wanda with calls. And after the 15th try, she finally picked up.

"FINALLY!" He exclaimed. "Your wife has been ugly sobbing for the past hour. Where the fuck are you?" he grumbled.

"I'm just at the back of the compound." Wanda sighed. "Is she okay?"

"Yes, aside from the fact that she been ranting at me for making you mad about the flower which by the way was mine." Tony pointed out.

"It was yours?" now Wanda felt bad.

"Yes! Now drop your dramatic act and quit messing with my advanced technology." Tony rolled his eyes.

"Where's Y/n?" Wanda asked.

"At the back of the car and-" Tony looked at you finding you sleeping with worried eyebrows. "She's sleeping"

"Keep it that way" Wanda said.

"Sure as hell don't wanna hear her sob again" Tony deadpanned.

----

"Get in." Tony ushered Wanda.

Wanda hurriedly opened the back seat and found you sleeping with tear tracks on your cheeks, puffy eyes, and a small pout. She slowly lifted your head supporting your neck and shoulders and laid your head on her lap.

She ran her hand through your hair and smiled when you moved and curled up on her tummy.

"So now you're being sweet?" Tony rolled his eyes.

Wanda throw a gaze at the man and all Tony did was ignore it. "You have mind-reading powers and you didn't believe y/n when she said it's not from a 'mistress'."

---

Wanda felt bad for making you cry and worry. Accusing you of something that you didn't even do made her feel bad that she bought flowers and chocolates while you were sleeping.

"Baby," she whispered. "Wake up"

"Are you holding flowers and chocolates?" you questioned with eyes shut.

"Eh no?" she murmured.

"I want cuddles not flowers" you urged. "And I want to sleep"

"Okay," Wanda giggled complying.

[stevie-petey]

Anything you want to tell us about Come Home that hasn’t been asked about yet? Like a head canon, Easter egg, reference, song rec, something you wrote in particular that made you feel a certain way, etc ?

anon these questions always make me so giddy omg i cant even choose what i wanna talk about because theres a LOT we havent unpacked together yet but ok ok ok lets start here: how jon and steve differ with loving bug.

weve already established that jon helps bug because theres an obligation there from years of being together, while steve does it because he wants to. to add to this, the love is almost reflective of that

jon: i will never deserve to love but i will love you anyways because its all i know (selfishly, co dependently, raw, messy, instinctive)

steve: i will never deserve to love you but if you believe i do then i will love you with everything within me (trusting, comforting, forgiving, replenishing, complete)

for an easter egg im shocked no one has pointed out the bonus episode titles !!! season 1 bonus ep is “the beginning” because its the beginning of everything between bug and steve. the beginning of their friendship, their dynamic, their budding relationship. it all starts in that chapter. as for season 2, “the fall”, this is LITERALLY steve falling in love with bug. the bonus eps are meant to really piece together the dynamics i create throughout the seasons canon, and then bring it all together outside of canon to set up for future seasons ! the bonus ep titles will always tell you whats in store for the couple ;)

the titles of the seasons overall are also the ending of them !!! for 1 (we dont talk about it) we end with jon and bug never talking about their love for one another and instead promising to stay the same. for 2 (we thought love was something we werent meant to find), the season ends with steve and bug both finding love within one another after being led to believe they werent meant for the love they craved because of nancy and jon. for 3 (now youre a stranger) ,,,, well ! wait n see <3

ok now for some a quasi reference (more symbolism): everyone who meets bug has a crush on her but not in a cliche “reader is so pretty” way but in a “this person is so genuinely lovely and has this pull to them that you cant help but fall in love with”. they arent actually in love with bug per say, theyre in love with her kindness. its infectious, i like to think bug embodies everything we wish to be <3

finally because im sleepy i will say that the ending scene in season 2 between bug and steve still makes me so <333 to reread. the idea that someone will wait for you, and that they trust you to come back, is just so beautiful to me. not only was bug putting her heart in steves hands, he placed his in hers as well. she trusts that he will love her in the end, she wont rush him, and he trusts that she will be there for him when he falls :’)))

i also really really adore the final scene between jon and bug in season 1, when theyre in the car and everything settles between them and bug makes jon promise that nothing will change. ugh. it breaks my heart every time. its so so so bittersweet :( it parallels steve and bug a year later at the end of season 2 and i just. im so proud of that as well

i blabbed so much my god. pls enjoy

[lemonsilly]

WAAAAGHH!!! YAYAYYYYYY!!!! I have spent the last like six years thinking about this man. I play with him like a doll. Apocalypse stuff,,,,, waaaughh. and john crocker?? working with corporate interests/rebellion and trying to feel out a relationship. writing something really good right now with d/john crocker. and alpha davekat?? where they're both dilfs? i mean come on. i'm not a hs2 guy and i avoid it as much as possible but captain karkat is an exception and i want him to be a rebellion leader combining troll forces with alpha strilonde's mobilized human resources in a wartime setting. like. there's so much to do.

-KD

anon i accidentally wrote too much heres a read more :sob:

tw for drugs anon i hope you dont get the ick from me /j

YIPPEEEEE YES!!!!!!!!! OHHH YESSSS APOCALYPSE STUFFF YESS OMGGGG OHH GODDD i love alpha davejohn so much i litearlly play with them like barbie dolls!!!! i love kinda putting them in a hollywood setting too bc idk im a huge bojack horseman fan and i kind of love playing with celebrity aus esp if you combine the fact that dave is going against a literal Alien Regime (granted most of it is subliminal but its like . enough to kinda piss off the condesce so he always has to have a target on his back kind of .

when i write a!dave i kinda take the approach of how no-game versions of yourself come out very flawed, as the game is supposed to improve yourself as a person and if you dont play the game, fate is kinda just not good to ur personhood. (ie dirk becoming bro is the biggest contender for this but i feel as if this also counts for jake, roxy, and maybe a little jane but i really need to reread the comic a third time to be confident in that statement .. i think this is a bit different for the trolls, however, as the ancestors are much more glorious who knows maybe its bc we dont rly know them? but then again w/ the dancestors (and ig the guardians) theres just this overall theme of "not knowing ur parents (whether that be troll or human)")

ANYWAY TANGENT ASIDE i really think that alpha dave would be a very flawed person, i can see him kind of getting caught up in that hollywood glory especially since i'd kind of view him as a bit attention-seeking, really wanting to be seen as like hollywood's darling and he puts on a cool, nonchalant, funny, charismatic front (knight moment!!) to achieve that (pretty much most previously tumblr favorite male celebrities that fell off, i think). god i could really go into detail but it would make this post WAY longer than it already is

so like my interpretation is like. this dilfy egotistical needy guy who PROBABLY does coke on the regular because of course . ugh i wish i had a good interpretation of my ver of alpha dave, i TECHNICALLY have this comic that has been kinda abandoned since i lost the login in for it (it was a twitter account "interactive comic" series, however be warned bc its my old writing style AND THE ART IS SO BAD and tbh its soooo cringy ughhh i cant believe i thought that was a good idea im crying ... it does have a tumblr though so maybe i can continue it there and just try to save it lol heres the tumblr link )

BUT ON THE GOOD SIDE OF HIM THOUGH i definitely think he does have good virtues, and wants to like. fight off the regime, hes very adamant on that and his efforts to save earth from HIC's colonization are very noble (again, hes a knight, knights are there to protect !! its in his blood!). so its kind of a mixed bag of him like trying to sustain his career while also fighting - at least subtly - against HIC. i can imagine like the weeks or so leading up to his death he began to get a bit more vocal about it, whether that was bc he was gearing up to fucking kill her and her government or maybe impulsivity? who knows.

i do think from the start though, HIC tries to sabotage both his and rose's careers because she knows what theyre up to and she Does Not Like It. and i feel like thats kinda where John comes into play, bc while i KNOWWW canon john crocker broke away from his mother and did his own thing, i think itd be rly interesting if John sort of enters Dave's life as a way to get him off course BUT IT BACKFIRES SO FAST bc johns overall a nice guy and also lowkey wants to kiss this FREAK so he kinda has to balance his mothers approval, the crocker company, and so on. its especially hard bc jades gone atp so basically ever since he was a kid he kinda only had himself so hes like UMm. Ummm. Hm. and thats why i kinda portray him to be a lil evil too in my A!JD interpretations not bc he is evil but more bc hes kinda following both corporate interests and his mothers orders

AS FOR DAVEKAT im not rly a davekat girlie myself but i do adore your vision KD, GOD i love it so much and i can imagine karkat and dave's views of how to go aghainst this regime both differing and it causes lots of bickering and fightings. and sloppy makeouts

SORRY FOR THIS TANGENT i just rly love talking abt alpha dave hes my little guy

[barbiedha-deactivatingsoon]

I’ve been (mostly) quiet about the show… I know 😙

(Long rant and kind of a spoiler-ish review ahead)

I’m sorry it’s just that I’m soooo HAPPYYYYYY 🤩

🥹🥹🥹

I’m literally crying gosh, the first season was just so beautiful 😭😭😭

I cant believe I’m saying this but Barbie: A Touch of Magic, despite having a lot of elements geared towards young children, is by far the BEST WRITTEN series of the Barbie vlogs universe!!! (In my opinion FYI) No joke!

At first I wasn’t totally sold with the overall theme (magic and pegasus), but I ABSOLUTELY LOVED how they balanced it out with the current canon elements of the universe, and built it up some more without compromising the past events of Barbie’s adventures and the existing lore.

Art style wise, they pretty much continued with the designs from Skipper’s Babysitting Adventure movie, so there’s not much change. The animation is a lot smoother and the detailing is immaculate. Also the colors are a lot more vibrant and saturated than in Dreamhouse Adventures and It Takes Two.

I also love that i got to see Malibu, California being the main setting of this series again. And also lot of important characters from Dreamhouse Adventures made an appearance again. Especially the The Malibu squad and Trey (my beloved) who got back their recurring roles in the episodes

Like the gang was literally back together again. My heart I cant— 😩 ❤️

Rocki the Glyph is a walking disaster lol but her quirkiness is easy to like and she’s hilarious (love that for her)

BUT THE MOST AMAZING THING…

and if you’ve been following me for a while then you know how obsessed I am with Barbie and Ken’s slowburn relationship in this universe.

So I’m so happy to say that the writers finally—FINALLY—did KARBIE JUSTICE!!! They wrote actual storylines that I’m 99% sure will lead to Ken and Barbie’s canon dating era in the series (not half-baked and determinant like in Epic Road Trip)

I would like to thank the queen ANN AUSTEN for a splendid job overseeing this season. I know she had a lot of influence in handling Ken and Barbie’s story in the show.

OMYGOSH you guys have no idea how many times I cried and scream in joy. The plot points and tropes I’ve always wanted Mattel and Mainframe Studios to do for Karbie since I became hooked on this show and universe… THEY. CAME. TRUE 😭

It was like I was holding a bingo card and I was crossing a box out every episode. The was cute, there was sweet, there was even ANGST, lol could you imagine my surprise those specific scenes?!?! 😅

Ugh and don’t get me started when Barbie and Ken finally went out on their FIRST DATE. OMG, that episode was just *chef’s kiss* 💋 🤌 I’m so proud of my babies for finally reaching that stage 🥲

I’m just amazed they finally stopped being super shy about wanting to become more than friends and acknowledging their romantic feelings towards one another and doing something about it.

I guarantee this will make all you long-time Karbie fans very happy once you guys watch the series too. ☺️❤️

[slytherinshua]

oh my god zanna happy birthday!!!

i hope you have an amazing day!!!!!!!!! (also i saw the moot post fic AND FIRST OF ALL IM SO SUPER EXCITED TO READ IT BC WDYM YOU WROTE PT3 OF MY FAV FIC BUT IM GONNA WAIT TILL THE WEEKEND SO I CAN READ IT IN PEACE) i love you!!!!! have the bestest day/week/year ever!!!!!

(also i cant believe you and shinyu and hao and hongjoong have the same birthday😭)

THANK YOU HAFS!!! hehe i hope u enjoy it i'm super happy with what my brain came up with i think there's still a lot of potential to continue the series and introduce some new fun plot (bcuz honestly i was as sad as anyone for that world ending in pt 2) I LOVE U MORE AND I HOPE U HAVE A GOOD WEEK <33

also sadly not </3 cause their birthdays are on the 7th and mine is on the 6th (its still the 6th for me) BUT UGH I WISH. no one that i stan shares my exact birthday but maybe if i get into allhours or younite sometime in the future i'll have idols i stan there w my same birthday!!

[pyreofsunflowers]

I dislike soooooo much of the writing in Ultimate and how they handled the characters n the plot but I think the WORST thing in that entire show is the way they wrote Alucard...

He's monstrous, sadistic and ultra-violent - sure, that's not my problem. My PROBLEM is that he's written in this stupid try hard edgelord fashion, which is NEVER interesting EVER.

I want Alucard to be sadist, I want him to be a violent monster who can kill people in horrific ways without remorse. But I also want him to be a character, and a well written one at that.

in MY mind - it's more like he's able to keep his demons in check (especially considering he's a government agent - ? and Integra seems pretty cautious about collateral damage - ?) under a suave, classy demeanor that's still ridiculously imposing and scary but not necessarily insane. When he chooses to go crazy - he goes CRAZY believe me. I'm not one of those people who think the gore in Ultimate is too much or try hard, it's the best part of the show. That being said ~ I also like the idea that he's lost an element of his control - or that it's not as good as it used to be and he (somewhat regularly) slips up and lets his emotions get the best of him. Of course, I imagine that he generally regrets these mistakes - either because it scares Integra/Seras or because he hates himself for loosing control and thinks he should have been stronger. Depending on the context.

oh and should I mention the whole edgelord thing really doesn't work with him being Count Dracula? Who's very much not an edgelord?

I just feel like he could have been such a complex character - especially if they had leaned more into a romantic plotline with him and Seras. How he'd be so afraid of hurting her, but how she so desperately wants to be corrupted by him. WHEREEEEE was them fucking on camera HIRANO - i KNOW you draw porn.

So desperately do I want him to have his monsters just below the surface, I want him to be scared of himself and to hate himself for it. I want him to try and try to keep himself from hurting the one he loves, to try and tell her this isn't what she deserves - that she's too pure and too innocent for this life. And I want Seras to tell him 'no' to become a monster like him and to love him every minute of it. I mean - if this is the character he should have, in my mind it makes the most sense that it's explored through romance. Especially one as tragic as theirs, one that has lasted centuries and has always ended in death.

Like ughhh just imagine how goood it would be when Alucard realizes Seras is just as fucked up as he is and he's able to be himself around her. how much havoc they can wreck together. how nasty he can fuck her <- sorry. But that's defiantly part of it. Like imagine how nervous he must have been to touch her for the first time, how much taking her virginity would weigh on him considering how rough and sadistic he is. Hellsing is like the one show I think that would have benefited from a consensual sex scene between the two leads. IT WOULD have been soooo good and could have given su soooo much introspection into there relationship.... Ugh but I can dream Ig, and it seems people generally really like edgelord-card but personally I cant stand him. where's my complex characters dammit. whatever. this is for a gorefest anime that isn't even supposed to be deep. But i wish it was better, If you even care.

[osarina]

HI CAINA PLSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS OMG IK I SHUD BE STUDYING RN BUT I WASNT ABLE TO STOP THINKING ABT IT N SO I READ IT AND I HAVE NO REGRETSSSSS !!!

PLS FIRST OFF the second scene ARE U KIDDING ME??? IT WAS SO INTIMATE N LOVEY N I WAS BLUSHING SO HARD I HADTA GET UP A MILLION TIMES BC I WAS SO FLUSTERED HELPPPPPP BUT AUGH I WILL ALWAYS LOVE THE WAY U WRITE DAZAI HES SO AUGHGGJGRFFDRVVJRBV

second of all THE ENDING OH MY GOD PLS i have some ideas for what might happen N IF SOMETHING SIMILAR HAPPENS I WILL SCREAM AJFERNVJRFNJVNREJG i still cant believe theres only 2 parts left q^q IT FEELS LIKE U RELEASED THE FIRST PART OF BADLANDS LIKE A WEEK AGO PLS I SO EXCITED FOR THE ENDING BUT AT THE SAME TIME IK I WILL CRY CARINA !!

(also btw: i was listening to 'too sweet' by hozier N IT REMINDS ME OF UR FIC SMMMMM)

REDDDDDDD I'M SO TERRIBLE IM SORRY IT LITERALLY TOOK ME AGES TO RESPOND TO THIS FINALS KILLED ME but i have arisen from the dead and now im BACK did u have finals???? whatever u were studying for i hope it went well!!!

UGHHHHHHH THE SCENE WHERE HE WAS HELPING HER GET DRESSED I WAS LITERALLY YEARNING SO HARD AS I WROTE IT like no joke ur girl was pouting and kicking my feet and i had to keep taking breaks to curl up in bed cuz i was yearningggggg for that man LOLLLLL he makse me so embarassing

NO BECAUSE TRULLYYYYYY i can't believe im writing the last chapter of it right now it makes me so sad actually i don't wanna leave behind waterloo universe </333 its my baby for real

TOO SWEET IS SOOOOO PERFECT FOR THEM UGH I LOVE HOZIER

[lorelune]

loreeeee, i read the blade fic update and i CANT. express. how much i love your writing (again LOL). ugh, the way you write thoughts, mentalities, how ppl navigate and take in info...insane. INSANE. ugh,,,,,,im sorry but having adrenaline "tumble between the eyes" or the weird sureness of his thoughts but still being unidentifiable (unintelligible? or there little understanding of the source of specific thoughts) in and of themselves...the way you write makes me FERAL. im savoring it so much, i just bit into the juiciest orange, the ripest strawberry, took a mouthful of the crispest apple cider ive ever tasted in my life--(sorry im low on sugar rn HAHA)

i have a lot to say. but not enough mental space to go through all of it...but i do want to mention how you wrote the retrospective scenes of blade being washed by kafka, it was captured so well. i know this kind of experience is very nuanced, and i think you expressed how blade processed it well. especially how this shows up in pieces thereafter in the rest of the fic, it's different from just mentioning or referring to a past moment. you threaded the experience to the present and from reading your works overall, i believe this is a "trademark" of your writing, at least to me.

the trademark is that there is purpose in every mention, there is delicacy in choosing a perspective and the lens in which the world is viewed or something is experienced by a character...there is a specific atmosphere, headspace, etc., that you want to convey and the entire thing is brought together with every sentence that follows the previous. youre making these connections, however small they may be, between shards of the characters' lives...it feels like you properly chewed them so you got the texture, flavor profile, salinity, etc., of those characters. it's what got me hooked onto you works, and im afraid (feral, positive) youre only getting better at it. im in trouble (eager) :D

this is small, but i personally love seeing purely from one chara's pov, i love unreliable narrator-esque stuff, it just tickles something in me, maybe bc life is THAT subjective to the one living it (also AP Lit was one of my fav classes back in hs, so is it rlly a surprise LMAO). i love connotations, questionable morals, existential dilemmas, all of it. and seeing that blade is full of the latter two, im SO up for it. i also love how he's constantly (unconsciously) trying to be mindful of the space he takes up, even if he chooses to not care for certain (most) ppl. idk, to me thats a testament to his previous life/experience, and it just adds lore (see what i did there :3) and depth to everything. and im so looking forward to see how he navigates and learns (pog self reflection!) about his violent urges/tendencies, and what they mean for him (and mc)--and even if he doesn't i am looking forward to your writing 🙏

this is not even 1/4 of what i wanted to say LMFAOO, but its 1am for me and i need some sleep...thank you for this lore. :) we are blessed to have you share your talent, its my spiders thread in the hellscape im in (life), love you always, stay healthy and happy lunar new yr if you celebrate!!

SLEEEPY 🥺!! thank you for the kind words!!!!! 🥺💕💕💕!!!!! i am screaming crying throwing UP i appreciate your feedback so so much!!!!!

rambling under the cut <3

writing blade for the architect has been both like.... deeply cathartic and so very different from any character i have written for!!! i don't write a ton in character POV, however blade's feels unique and interesting in a way that keeps me going back to him. the dynamic between blade and reader is so interesting to continue to revisit, and writing their relationship expand and change has been very fun!!

blade is truly monstrous, but not for any of the reasons he thinks. his monstrous is monstrous in the way that he shouldn't exist or be alive, and that he essentially a human weapon, but how he feels isn't monstrous. he's coping. poorly. and through centuries of compounded trauma and an accumulation of mara. he absolutely sees some of himself in reader and can't help but want to ... protect them? if nothing else be near them. it's horrific, the way he thinks, but not monstrous. and i think that's an important distinction in the architect!!!

blade is an incredibly unreliable narrator. it is integral to the story (moreso as we go on) that he is unreliable. his own confusion is woven into the plot and vital to his relationship with the reader. his feelings towards you are a tangled mess, and so much of that comes from his own fractured consciousness.

its been very fun to write and dive into it just like... explore. full send. i started the architect originally as a drabble that was supposed to be uneditted LOL and i didn't want to pull any punches with the implications and like... 'darkness' of the story. i'm glad that you have enjoyed it sleepy and THANK YOU for your comments and elaborations, they truly make my day and get me hype to continue the story too <33 thank you thank you thank you 💞💞💞

[therealpontius]

Money! Money! Money!

I wrote this while being overly stressed with exams so that’s why the readers so moody sorry 🤞

Plot: you just cant get a break can you?…

Warnings: stress/choking/angst

You hadnt seen you boyfriend for while due to stressfull work, he had been back at his house for once to give you more room for equipment.

It was a scorching day and your schedule was filled with different scenes to film. Jeff liked your camera work the best so always expected you to film more than the rest.

You hadnt had the time to go see chris, bam screaming your name so he could film a couple of skate tricks that would most definitely not make it to the movie but he insisted you done them so he could try show ofd to the medic he had a huge crush on. After ten falls and seven different tricks you got impatient and just walked away, hearing him scream your name behind you and jeff shouting you over at the same time. On your walk over to jeff ehren accidentally ran into you making you drop your camera. "Fuck!" You gasped, picking up your camera as quick as it fell. Ehren had gone and hadnt even said sorry but you couldnt care, jeff still screamed for your name.

"What?!" You groaned finally reaching him "daves got a poop shot to film!" He groaned back, pointing towards dave who squatted over an empty icecream tub. "Hey y/n!" You hear chris shout from abit away, you choose to ignore him knowing that if you draw attention to him he wont leave your side and you really needed space to concentrate. "RECORDING IN THREE... TWO..." jeff called out, giving you enough time to get into focus. "Im dave england and this is..." he continued to shit into the tub, you covering you mouth to drown out your dry heaving noises "... chocolate icecream!" "Cut!" Some of the boys laugh but you just take a deep breath while you could "KNOXVILLE?" Jeff screams beside you breaking you away from your two second mediation. "WHAT?" "GET OVER HERE" the lanky man ran over with a drone.

"Y/n, take some pictures for the photo album with knoxville" jeff said walking away. You hold your hand up to your face and pinch the top of your nose, trying to drown out your stress “need a break doll?” “Yeah but like… ugh it doesnt matter just start the poses” “yes sir!” He smiles, saluting down to you. Johnny does poses such as lift his shirt up and pout as you just spammed the photo button just hoping for the best “hey pontius! Get over here and get some snaps, your little ladys photoing me right now!”

Silently you sigh, you loved chris so much and you loved how clingy he got but it was moments like theses you REALLY didnt need him clinging off you back.

“Were those even words?” You mutter under your breath “yes doll, they were words” johnny mutters back to you as if to say ‘i caught you’. “Hey sweetheart! Mind if i join?” Chris says, kissing your cheek from behind “no no not at all just be quick before jeff starts ordering me around again” you smile, catching his eye “yes ma’am”. Both the men pose together laughing their heads off when johnny put his tongue between his fingers like children. “Y/N?” You hear jeff scream. “Fuck sake, sorry boys ill catch up later” you turn round and swiftly start walking away from them towards the sound of your name. “Not so fast! Im coming with!” Chris says, wrapping his arm around your shoulder “chris baby im really just up to my eyes right now” “thats why im here to help!” Chris looked down at you with a loving smile like he was really going to try and not hold you back. “Right…”

“What took you so long? Steve-os going to recreate the fish scene from the series. A few others tried to film it but never got it i believe you can get it. Oh hey chris” jeff says, walking over to spike. “O’ get in frame its a busy day” you say sternly, fixing up your tripod “yes sir” he bites back, getting himself prepared “steve-o not today, my girlfriends very stressed” chris said in a tone which you werent sure if it was sarcasm or not. “THREE… TWO…” you counted down, nodding when you pressed record. “Im steve-o and im going to swallow this here alive fish and throw it back up!”

While he got up to his stupid shit you walked away from the camera a little, leaving it on its tripod. You closed your eyes to try calm down, the sound of steve-o throwing up and others laughing from god knows where giving you a migraine. “Babe?” You heard from chris, softly “babe?… baby?” “Chris not right now…” “no babe i need you…. Baby.” “WHAT?” you snap, facing him with an expression you regretted straight after “i think Steve-os choking” he shrugged, pointing to the man who very clearly was. “Oh fuck! MEDIC! MEDIC!” You scream, running up to the tall man. The medics quickly arrived and began giving him backblows to force the live fish out

“Why didnt you just tell me!” You shouted at chris, throwing your hands up to exaggerate your emotions “i was trying not to stress you out babe!” He raised his voice a little “look im sorry for raising my voice but if this” you point to steve-o who was still choking but getting the best help he could “doesnt work? Then hes going go die” chris’s eyes suddenly sink at the realisation that just because they do this stupid shit all the time doesnt mean they are immortal, at that the live fish goes flying from steve-os mouth and he gasps for air, falling to the ground. “Your a lucky man” you mutter, starting to pack your camera gear away.

Steve-o was whisked off by the medic team to their tent and chris just stood silent next to you, not sure what to do with himself. “Look ill see you later, im going to go gray if i stay here for a second longer” you state, trying to catch his eyes that looked anywhere but you, something he done when he felt uncomfortable. When you realised chris probably wasnt going to say bye you continued walking but quickly heard him catch up “im coming back to yours” “you are? Chris there isnt much room-“ “then we will make room, we need to be together right now” he slipped his hand into yours. “Jeff y/n needs a break shes going to go gray” “we cant afford it” jeff said sympathetically “please give her a break, theres six other camera men here today” Jeff looked around at the camera men who stood around aimlessly, their camera in hand with no purpose. “Fine, fuck. Just dont make this regular” jeff complained “thanks jeff we wont” chris smiles, heading to the car park and helping you into his car. “What about my car?” “We will get it tomorrow”.

The drive home you just closed your eyes and tried to slow your heart, chris’s hand rubbing your knee in care. “Thats us darling” you open your eyes to see his house, not your small shitty apartment “sorry i thought it would be better so you dont get stressed seeing the equipment” you wrap your self around his arm “thankyou baby” “well i dont want a gray girlfriend” you both laugh then eventually get out the car making your way to the door.

You head to the living room and turn on the big tv while chris headed to the kitchen, some woman was screeching about how her best friend made out with her brother. Just some shitty reality tv show. Next up was another mind numbing game show, a sign that spoke ‘MONEY! MONEY! MONEY!’ at the top “why is it always about money!” You grumble “because money can get you high” chris laughs from behind you “cheer up baby lets watch something else” he jumped over the couch, landing next to you with a bag of chocolate and crisps in his hands. “Figured you might be hungry?” “Always” you kiss his cheek, leaning into his chest.

Chris picks up the remote and puts on family guy, he always got a good laugh out of that show “you feeling any better?” He asks, stroking your shoulder softly “much better” you yawn into his chest…