#ugh he sucks so bad
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weird fuzzy dragon guy (he's also a wizard. and a cowboy)
#my art#my ocs#ben the wizard boy#byron#reference sheet#ugh he sucks so bad#hes been in my head since like 2014 and his design has been supremely ugly since#hes still a little ugly. thats why i love him#anyway hes a guy who got turned into a little dragon and then partially turned back#through weird and offputting means#he would really like to not be a dragon at all anymore
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THEY could give me the surgurey i need (inspired alot by evojellys designs for em. GREAT STUFF)
#THE SUCKENING IS S O COOOOL GUYS VIV N VEX ARE SO FUCKING COOL AND FUNNY... CHARLIES FLAVOR OF DERANGED IS JUST#SO PERFECT FOR THIS CAMPAIGN.. I LOVE HOW HE DOES HORROR AND EVIL AND SCARY AND AAUAUUUGHGHGUUHGHG#their teeht arnt spiked like normal vampires but theyre sharp n smooth like a Beak. in my beautiful heart#ALSO UGHGHGH BIG SPOILERS FOR EPISODE 7 BUT#THAT THING WITH THE MAP. WITH THE DEMONS N VAMPS. THEYRE KEEPING TRACK OF THEM.#'so viv. was that one of mine or one of yours?' IS THIS A PET PROJECT OF THEIRS OR SOMETHING. ARE THEY PULLING MORE STRINGS THAN WE THINK#IS ONE TUGGING AT THE DEMONS AND THE OTHER TUGGING AT THE FANGS? PITTING THEM AGAINST EACHOTHER SO THEY KILL EACHOTHER?#AND THEN ITS EASIER TO TAKE THE BODIES FOR THEIR FUNNY CREATIONS?? IT PROLLY WASNT EASY TO GET SUPPLIES B4 EDWARD CAME INTO POWER#BUT OH MY GOD.. POOR EMIZEL.. THE MEMORY OF HIS CREW WAS TAKEN AND THEN HE WATCHES A BUNCHA THEM GET HORRIBLY DISMATNLED N DISTORTED#HE KNOWS HE CARED FOR THEM AT SOMEPOINT N HE KNOWS THE MEMORIES WERE TAKEN BUT HE JUST. CANT. AUAUUGGUAHGUAHGUAHGUHG#THAT SUCKS SO BAD FOR HIMMM EMIZEEEELL EMIZEL CMERE BABY BOY ILL SMOKE U OUT BOY. GET AWAY FROM THOSE EVIL GUYS I AM BETTER N CAN BE TRUSTE#viv n vex are so cool...theyre fuckin CRAAZYY N SCARYYY BUT ALSO. SO FUNNY... I LOVE A PUNNY JACKASS... 'LOOKS LIKE YOUVE BEEN: DISARMED!'#'IVE MADE THAT JOKE 6 TIMES AND ITS STILL FUNNY EVERYTIME' i gotta draw more of their bullshit...#im already doodling up the 'YOU CAN CALL ME MOMMY!!' bit. i gotta draw more o the monstors n the horrors too... especially emizels sire UGH#I LOVE VILLIAINS THAT ARE SO GENUINELY SCARY BUT SO FUNNY... charlie just does evil ppl like no one else idk what it ISSSS#okayokayoka y im normal im. relistening to the ep n im at the edward part. oh my god. i actually love him. he actually makes my skin crawl#IM DONEthats my rambles for tha day. back into my hole i go. also i have comms open. cmere pspspss i need moneyyy heyyyy cmereeeee#check out my main artblog. GO!!!
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(the winchester boys try to ‘save’ goth!reader from their perfect lover);*!
(what the hell! stop trying to chop my boyfriends head off while he's professing his love!);*!
#supernatural#supernatural x reader#yippee I'm watching supernatural again#peter steele sucks but is good vamp bf representation#and Mick n his wife are so cute I just had to#platonic supernatural x reader#goth!reader#i was thinking more 90s mall goth but it didn't translate the best#so just goth#dean winchester#sam winchester#these are fun#moodboard#supernatural moodboard#vamp bf tryna kiss you and they assume he's going for the neck n just Strat swinging#start swinging I'm not rewriting that#ugh this with someone their super close to#like another hunter#goth hunter x vamp bf ugh need it#this is a lot of tags#my bad
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saw your tags on the romance poll dudes edition, im curious how the iron bull romance in your brain differs from the in game one if you wouldnt mind sharing!
hey, thank you so much for the ask!! i'm happy to talk about it, though im not sure i'm going to be the best in wording it, lol
my biggest gripe with the iron bull romance that we have in canon is that i just think its... not pulled off very well. it feels clunky, and a fair bit of the dialogue is more cringe-worthy or red-flagy than it is romantic or hot. i just don't think there were enough moments where the inquisitor and bull sit down and talk about their dynamic for it to be a healthy one to me. they kind of just jump into it with a few vague warnings from bull and then another conversation after they hook-up for the first time. the inquisitor is also locked in as being submissive to bull– he canonically won't switch with the inquisitor and let them take charge because, "it's not what they need.". it feels... idk, icky? for that choice to be made for the inquisitor.
and then, of course, there is the oversexualization/fetishization of the qunari and the racial stereotypes we see attached to them throughout the series. i think making iron bull, the first romancable qunari in the series, have such a sex-focused romance was a mistake. just as i think having taash's romance in datv be the "spicest" is a mistake. no matter how it is written, i think was a mistake. just because iron bull is aware of the stereotypes doesn't mean the fact that he plays into them is written well, i guess is what i'm trying to say. we see this even when dorian and bull get together and their banter surrounding their relationship.
that all being said! the romance In My Brain has more time dedicated to setting up the terms of their dynamic and does not lock the inquisitor in as being submissive. i think there should be some sort of choice between it being strictly sex between bull and the inquisitor, or if it eventually shifts into something else. or even if they start off hooking up and it shifts to not having sex at all but still being in some form of relationship. i know the game is limited for what it can do for various reasons, but i'd like for there to be more choices! and more soft moments. bull actually has a lot of them, but i would like More. i would also like for there to be a proper conversation between the inquisitor and bull about why, exactly, he feels the need to consistently play up the overly sexual/aggressive/clueless persona he presents. or some sort of option to return the care he gives the inquisitor beyond just giving him the dragon necklace. idk! im yapping and im not sure how well im explaining it lol, i'm a better writer than i am an explainer. i just wish it was different
#ask#symphorine#i misread your user as sympherobrine at first.. herobrine in my inbox#dai#dragon age#dragon age inquisition#the iron bull#iron bull#iron bull-critical#the iron bull-critical#i guess?? idk#i want to kiss bull so bad but his romance icks me a lot#i hate how the qunari are written#“here is an entire group of people who are stereotyped to he brutish and violent and guess what. they dont love romantically but the fuck#and they fuck a lot and HARD.“ is. well. it sure is. ugh.#i love bull. but bioware sucks ass#bioware-critical#unfortunately due to how the game is i just find a lot of the romances to be kind of.. shallow? or lacking in some way? which is fine#i can just fill stuff in#but it feels especially ehhh with bull
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Genuinely intrigued by the potential of Peri and Irep's dynamic but only in a platonic way so I end up not vibing with the fandom's portrayal of it 😔😔😔
(No but listen LISTEN they were kinda-almost-friends when we last saw them in FOP, yeah? Now they're enemies, with both actively fighting each other, and Irep going so far as to try and kill Peri's parents. What happened? When? What influenced it? Did they ever become friends, or did it nosedive the moment the cameras turned off? What about Sammy? How do Irep's parents factor into this? Could it ever be fixed? There's just so much we haven't seen, and romance just feels like too easy a solution to me. Let their friendship be easy to break, fragile. Let them have to work to keep the connection. Fairies and Anti-Fairies are literally made to be opposites, so what happens when two genuinely and truly become friends?)
((and yeah I guess a lot of this could factor into a romantic angle but ALAS the fandom seems to be leaning heavily into the funny toxic yaoi angle 😔 I don't mind it! By all means, please have your very harmless fun! But it ain't my jam :P Perhaps I'll have to write a oneshot myself...))
(((see tags for more rambles i guess. whoops a bitch spoke too much in there as he always does)))
#i'm banned (self inflicted) from writing long fics until i finish this one i'm working on#and honestly I might keep the ban afterwards i am SO BAD at working on long fics. never finished one ever#oneshot guy thru and thru. but painfully. disastrously. i have so many long fic ideas...#anyway I like to think that they did become friends#and then not friends. and then friends again. and then not friends. and then-#and sometimes it was Peri's fault but a lot of the times it was Irep not feeling like he was allowed to be Peri's friend#and doing something to break it off#but Peri would keep trying to be his friend or Irep would realize that he still wants to be#but one day. Peri just gave up#he was tired of this back and forth. of never knowing if he was gonna be friends with this guy tomorrow or not#so he stopped trying. decided that if Irep wanted to be friends again HE would have to be the one to try and repair it#and also give him an apology maybe. not for breaking off the friendship again just for all the fucking murder attempts#(''if i die you die too dumbass-'')#unforch this happened to line up with Irep finally reconnecting with Anti-Cosmo and Anti-Wanda again#and with them discouraging being friends with fairies + peri not trying to fix it this time... it. uh. kinda broke it off for good#('maybe not for good. maybe there's a chance. maybe Irep would-... ugh. it's not worth thinking about...')#Sammy's still friends with both of them though. It is Not Fun#gives Sammy my childhood experience of my two fighting friends wanting to sit with me at lunch but refusing to talk to each other#okay damn this post got long af. did not realize i had thought about this so much until i practically dropped a fic down here#anyway. actual tags? actual tags#fop#fairly oddparents#the fairly oddparents#peri fop#irep fop#peri fairywinkle-cosma#uh. do ppl search irep's full name... augh#irep anti-fairywinkle-anti-cosma#congrats elkniwirep your name fucking sucks. it's awful#a new wish
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man i love open endings. the fact that thanks to yuuji there might indeed be the next time sukuna talks about in case some idiot decides to eat a finger again. and we need fics where yuuji is that idiot
#hiding this in the tags but i think jjk and mha kinda conveyed the same concept#i haven’t mentioned it because sukuita always steals 100% of my attention but gojo’s moment was great too! as i said i think gege stayed#true to his characters till the end and i’ve always thought gojo coming back to life was absolute bs not because i didn’t want him back but#because it would completely ruin what was trying to be told through his story. he carried out the destiny he was doomed to carry out and#gege even specified this for us and /why/ it’s going to be different for yuuji#it can also be found in the way gojo and sukuna fought vs yuuji and sukuna#and it’s rly similar to horikoshi’s concept of the new generation reaching out to the villains and trying to understand them & /that/ is#what ‘the greatest hero’ truly means#ok now i’m digressing because gojo was more about himself and the title he was stuck with but it’s all so similar you know#which brings me to my point (finally)#the fact that the villains always ‘loses’ in the end. and i’m thinking that letting them live would be such a risky direction to take bc#it’s so easy to make it either corny or unrealistic. if the whole thing is about succeeding in reaching out then it’s going to happen at the#very last. and realistically it’s going to be too late. they’re going to be too far gone and it sucks but that’s how it is#shoto can discuss soba with touya but he’s still slowly dying. you know#so the best we can hope for is that the battle the villain fought at least leaves a mark and they sure did#something something the bad guy changing the good guy as much as he changed him#so yeah um maybe i am making sense maybe i am not but i woke up this morning and kinda went insane because it dawned on me that yuuji gave#sukuna another chance to life taking himself out of the equation#UGH. CIGARETTE EMOJI#speaking of which i’ve been (im)patiently waiting for olasketches and cruyuu’s reactions#my fave people on tumblr are genuinely the first people i think about after something good happens#my post
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Great White Shark's grindset is laughing with his full chest at some joke one of his siblings made at Road Rash's expense, then looking over at Road Rash and seeing her visibly angered by the joke, then proceeding the beat the blood and shit out of his sibling like "THINK YOU'RE A FUCKING COMEDIAN DICKHEAD?? IT'S NOT EVEN FUNNY!! 🤬"
#original character#warriors oc#By Sand By Sea#The Great White Shark#Road Rash#The Divers#Sand Runners#// I hate him he sucks so bad#// road rash vc: ugh. (watches him commit violence anyway)
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season 2 is gonna be like all ab backstories and like… ik vivs fav backstory is just “daddy issues” so istg if theres another gd character w a daddy issues orgin story imma flip out 😭 like its fine to have that for a character but omg its just bad repetitive writing at this point. (we alrdy have moxie, blitzo, stolas, octavia, charlie, and luna) and probably more i missed.
😬
I believe Alastor does canonically have daddy issues so… we’re shit out of luck unless they changed that. Or if by backstory, they just mean Alastor’s life before he vanished for 7 years.
It’s funny you mention daddy issues because you’re totally right that that’s the tried and true method of getting us to care about characters in these shows, at least as far as the writers are concerned. I’ve debated on making a post criticizing that because I’m just gonna raise my hand and say that exploring Daddy Issues ™ is one of my absolute favorite things in media and fandom, but I have definitely gotten sick of it from Viv’s stuff.
Even I have my limits regarding the complexities of parent-child relationships apparently. Who knew?
#Hazbin hotel critical#if even I as a deeply broken individual with not just daddy but overall family issues is sick of this#then you know it’s bad#also obligatory mention that Viv doesn’t emphasize Charlie and Avis’s daddy issues as much as the boys#or at least there’s the excuse that Lucifer and Stolas are ‘trying’#so their problems are ofc undermined#Loona is a bit of an outlier however bc she just sucks when it comes to Blitzø’s caring#he absolutely smothers her and is not a great dad#but he’s the best one and he still gets physically assaulted for it#which is astounding#just blows me away quite frankly#Blitzø >>>>>>> Stolas#tbh Blitzø > Lucifer if we wanna get real#why tf did autocorrect change Via to Avis?#ugh
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For the first time since I can remember I did not hate every second around my family and… not only that actually…. Kinda enjoyed myself? Idk, just got home and I’m real tired but I think that’s just cuz I was up early and busy and then had the drive home. Christmas stuff and all that. My mom did…? Get me a pair of shoes that were lesbian colors…. I can’t tell if that was some insane coincidence and she didn’t know or her trying to say/do something all things considered. Apparently my siblings kept telling her I wouldn’t like them when she picked them out (which is fair I wear almost exclusively all black and mostly boots over tennis shoes) but she insisted so…. Mmm…. On the one hand I wish she would just like… say something? But if it was some weird way of being supportive I guess it was kinda sweet? Idk. I might be reading into it and it was just a coincidence
They also all insisted on helping me move in February which kinda has me like ???? Because I’ve moved four times since I’ve moved out and they have never once done a THING to help even when I lived much closer but I’ll take it cuz that means I won’t have to rent a truck cuz they’ll bring theirs and I won’t have to hire ppl to move the big furniture so that’s a lot of money I’ll be saving
They're also giving me one of the beds and mattresses from my great grandma's house since they've been clearing it out after she died a few months ago because when they asked what all I would I have to move and didn't say a bed and then explained my bed is a 20+yo mattress laid directly on the floor they were like :/ which obvi I know wasn't ideal I just couldn't afford to get a new one but now I won't have to. Obviously it's used but it's still only a year or so old they said, and I don't think I've EVER had a mattress that wasn't at least 15 years old so that'll be nice. I hope it helps some of my back issues...
Anyways, idk what fucking happened to these people in the span of a couple months but it kinda feels unreal
#they also got me some manga which…..#some of it was manga I wanted!!!#however one of the series I told her I wanted was blue exorcist and. well.#I guess she forgot the second half of the title because she got me volumes of some manga that was blue something#I don’t even remember I’d never heard of it before and when I read the summary it’s some slice of life romance#so now I have random volumes of the middle of that series that I have to figure out something to do with……#cant say I really wanna read it lol#didn’t bother to tell her it was the wrong series cuz tbh that was way more effort than she’s ever put into my actual interests#so I’ll take it ig#ugh this is so weird#it’s like. I can tell she’s trying to do better after we had that conversation last month#which yeah in some ways is nice obviously but really I just feel complicated#cuz it doesn’t fix everything else even if she gets better now#and also it was easier to just accept she fucking sucked and hate her#I think I still kinda hate her but…. ugh like I said idk it’s complicated#anyways my siblings also made me play Fortnite with them which I’d never played that#it was okay I guess#met my grandparents new puppy they’re obsessed with#(they’re both convinced they hate pets and ended up with him cuz my uncle got it for his daughter except both of them are bad a taking care#of things so he ended up with my grandparents)#but they’re so clearly obsessed with this fucking dog oh my god like it’s insane#they’re both the epitome of that joke about the dad not wanting the cat but then absolutely loving the cat#kaz rambles
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i've gone to sleep angry and woken up angry every day since last saturday
#the flatmate who moved out was made CRYSTAL clear of her contractual duties to keep paying rent until she's been replaced on the lease#just like the other flatmate who moved out (and flatmate B is a student who works part time and has a deadbeat dad she can't move home to)#flatmate A works full time and will be living at home rent free and only moved out to go on a free holiday to mexico with her sisters#but it's flatmate A who's throwing a tantrum saying she wants her bond back and wants to stop paying rent now#even though no one's moved in to replace her on the lease WHICH WAS THE STIPULATION OF HER BREAKING IT EARLY#she KNEW this and she avoided all attempts at conversation about it before she moved out#but now that we're not face to face she's so brave over text with her lawyer sisters in her ear trying to tell us we're fucking her over#and trying to get us to pay HER RENT on top of our own#it's a fixed term lease you can only break it if you abide by the conditions the landlord sets#and the conditions were that she find someone to replace her on the lease#she's claiming that bc flatmate c (who's staying in the flat) moved into her room out of his couples room (bc him and flatmate b broke up)#that that somehow counts as her being replaced on the lease#no matter how many times we tell her that's not the case because how the fuck could he replace her when he's already on the lease#she refuses to listen. IT'S A ONE IN OUT SYSTEM BABE AND YOU'RE STILL IN#it's just soooooo shitty and sneaky like we've been friends for three years and now she's throwing it all away for WHAT#i hate people pleasers i hate people who hide their selfishness and sneakiness behind smiley faces and kisses#how is it in ANY way fair that the rest of us pay her rent so she can go on holidays. yeah i'd fucking like that too girl#it's stressing me out so bad because she's trying so hard to get between us all and tell one person that the other person said something#and then you ask the other person and they say no i absolutely did not say that#and we have proof evidence and facts on her side but she refuses to believe them#anyways. we've referred this all on to our landlord now so now it's her problem and out of our hands#ugh. it just sucks because we were really close friends and now what are we
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Me, when I see modern retellings of Greek myths that are actually worse than the original---- from woobifying some gods and making them innocent meow meows to demonizing and villainizing others (eg. Demeter and, yes, even Hera), ignoring how they are morally grey and can't just be lumped in with a modern viewpoint at all times, making the goddess and other female figures "girlboss" but also riddled with undertones of misogyny/internalized misogyny and victim blaming (you see this a lot with retellings for Medusa, especially regarding Andromeda because if they aren't making her a girlboss than they hate on her for being a damsel, which isn't even bad, or even make her the "other woman" 😭), or make characters like Perseus the bad guy, even though he was literally sent/went on a dangerous, life threatening quest to save his mother (and himself lowkey) from an abuser and then went to save Andromeda, who he loved even though these retellings try to say otherwise, from death:
#greek myth#greek mythology#and i want to clarify that im not even a classics connoisseur (as much as i want to be) but it's still frustrating to see how some of these#modern retellings treat the og source material and yes this includes pjo as much as i love#like im tired of the gods being painted as either black or white (while always demonizing the goddess 😒) bc it erases nuances#also like...if they were full on bad i don't think they would have had many worshippers but that's just me#and to say that your retelling is more “feminist” but then u sneak in more misogyny than there was to begin with---#also people hating on andromeda or making her self sacrificing bc she doesn't fit into your ideal vision of feminism sucks too#like there is nothing wrong with being a damsel who ends up being rescued by her future love (who she had 9 kids with)!#medusa retellings specifically medusa/perseus retellings are problematic too bc they'll paint her as some villainous woman or push her to#the side which is gross when you remember that andromeda is/supposed to be a black woman yall aren't slick#or having demeter be villainized to suit a ship but also not giving persephone anything either or how hera is just reduced to the evil step-#mother just--- ugh!#and im not saying that all retellings are bad or that u can't like them no#im saying that one it's important to know how to separate the retelling from the og source and not conflate the too#(as well act snooty about it just bc u like the retelling more)#and two to realize that many of these retellings are deeply flawed and problematic and shouldn't be put on high pedestals either#looking at u lore of olympus#so much more i could say but so little time#dni if you can't have a collected conversation#leave my boy perseus alone!#he's like one of the least problematic male figures out there and you're reducing him for what?
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Best thing about being a Scooby Doo fan: you can meet some of the nicest people with some really cool ideas and hcs, there's such an abiding love for the franchise, which on its own is just AMAZING, such a wealth of content to dive into, and I haven't even gotten into the fan REDESIGNS and aus and-
Worst thing about being a Scooby Doo fan: people irl in public will come up to you with some of the worst Scooby takes ever (Scrappy found dead in Miami, SDMI revolutionized animation, etc.) and you have to restrain yourself from getting into a fistfight with some rando acquaintance/friend-of-a-friend in public ALL THE TIME 💀
#THERES NO WAY THIS ONLY HAPPENS TO ME RIGHT#its constanttttt ughhhh#james gunn i fucking hate you this is all your fault 🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡🗡#not the sdmi stuff but the REST#there should be a jail sentence for scooby crimes i SWEAR#also this one dude today UGHHHHHHHU#ive never even seen him before (apparently hes been in my math class this year?) but with all the seniors gone (save me bc i love a party)#there was like 5 ppl in math today (4 of them good friends of mine) and this dude would NOT let up with the scrappy sucks sdmi is awesome bs#like i was just like no i disagree with you every time he brought it up but like UGH.#i think scrappy got a bad lot and deserves a chance to be the best he can be and sdmi is personally unwatchable to me because of how mean#they are to each other/the relationship drama plots. whats not to get we dont need to keep hashing this#i didn't make it a big thing though bc i didn’t want to start stuff but ugh#the only ppl allowed to make fun of scrappy around me are my besties and even theyre on thin ice so like watch it bub#blah#scooby doo
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...
#man ive never seen an eating disorder kill someone else besides a parent infecting a child but my nana is really trying#shes like 1000% orthotexic. will not eat anything not filled with vegetables or fat. and my grandpa is 87yo with a heart condition currentl#in the hospital for covid bc thry went to Christmas church and dont believe in being vaccinated and my dad is so frustrated#bc he knows his mom is not gonna give his dad hearty foods. he needs to eat like protein shakes and meat and ice cream. anything thats not#her cooking which sucks on top of being extremely healthy. except its not healthy bc they dont eat a balanced diet#so its my nanas eating disorder killing her husband and shes so fucking frustrating. im like 99% sure she has obsessive compulsive#personally disorder bc she fits to a T and has zero insight. she may have full on 0cd bc talking to my dad he has more obvious 0cd#compulsions than i do. he used to say phrases before going to bed and would take 2 steps across the floor to prevent bad things from#happening. so like im pretty sure my nana is where i get my perfectionism and 0cd. god. i wish i could express how fucked up she is#like my dad said at least he had a stable home to grow up in but like she has zero sympathy for other people. cannot look past herself. wil#not wear a mask bc she doesnt care enough abt other ppl. my dad was like: u would not have survived in that house. which is fair bc i am#barely keeping it together coming from a stable home with two sympathetic parents who i know love me#and like its sad that they're suffering the effects of buying into the fox news bullshit and its killing them#but also. genuinely. i think theyre not very good ppl. theyre the type of people who think they're better bc they're religious. white. and#thin. and theyre not better thsn anyone. their grandchildren cant stand them. well cant stand her at least. papa is just quite so its hard#to say what hes thinking. apparently he was confused last night and saying something about eating dinner on the golf course. which sounds#nicer thsn being in the hospital lol. ugh. he seems not long for this world tbh. may he pass peacefully to b with his 1st wife who died of#brain cancer at age like 20 or something. so it goes. bleh. how many funerals are intended for me in the next 5 years? hopefully none but#that seems improbable with the unspoken drain circling that seems to b going on in this family. old age and like almost 10 years of cancer#defying the stats but for how much longer?#i dunno. its just so weird to watch these things happen and not talk about it directly to the other ppl who see it#i worry that ill come off as too callose or inappropriate bc i have that tendency when something bad is happening but thats everyone else#excuse? idk i just feel like its better to talk abt things#unrelated#ed mention#i tell u this so i can say these things to someone and also bc if i were u. i would like to hear the drama#bc im nosey and i assume other r too ;-]
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just watched my brother graduate
#he looks so different i havent seen him in YEARS#i was in preschool so i think. 11 years. idk im bad at math#but theres no way i wouldve recognized him if my dad hadnt pointed him out#post posting#told myself i wouldn't be all sad#but yk#cant help but wonder if he cares that we watched#or if his mom even told him#idk shes kinda#yk#i wonder if his mom will show him the video when i graduate#or if he'll even want to watch#ugh this SUCKS#i dont talk about him a lot but its mostly cause my dad doesnt tell me anything about him#i know its his son and he never gets to see him or anything#but hes also my brother#and im old enough to remember knowing him at one point#my other brother isnt#so like. both of them are feeling different things than i am. obviously.#but i cant talk to my friends about it#cause none of them have half siblings and people are SUPER weird about it for some reason#and i mean it just really sucks to have a literal brother who i knew at one point and have good memories with#but also know absolutely nothing about#i mean how can someone know absolutely nothing about their own brother#idk#its not like he knows much about me#hes older so maybe he remembers more#but i DOUBT his mom talks about us#i wonder if he even wants to get to know us
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I'm still not feeling great. now one side of my face also hurts lol, it's just one thing after another, this body sucks
#no idea what my face is complaining about but I'm sure it'll be fine in a couple of days#it's really annoying how used I am to 'things just randomly hurt a lot for no reason' lol#but anyway! I've finally made an appointment with a different ENT doctor. somehow I'm not okay with just being told my eardrum just doesn't#work (for no reason. at least none that I've been told) and that they won't do anything about it and I'm just gonna live with it#like if that's the best thing sure! then that's fine! but literally being told that I'm imagining everything is not enough :)#I don't care I just refuse to have this be the last thing I hear about this. that piece of shit doctor can go fuck himself and I hope he#gets hit by a bus (and then told that he's just imagining it)#plus. the tube thing they put in my ear did help at least a bit. but when I asked about that this jerk just said they won't do that over#and over 'for the next 90 years' and that I just have to live with it. my guy. I'm not planning on making it to 122?! and also I never#fucking asked for that? I just wanted to know if there's any OPTIONS. like doing that again. or anything else. and he just kept cutting me#off whenever I talked. ugh I fucking hate this guy.#anyway so I hope this lady will be better.#somehow I've had really bad luck with ENT doctors specifically?! I hope not all of them suck....#personal
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I miss my cat so much already this fucking sucks
#every time i go to the couch i expect to see him under the blankets but he’s not there#ugh fuck this sucks so bad
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