#i wonder if his mom will show him the video when i graduate

[the-kneesbees]

just watched my brother graduate

[bingbongsupremacy]

Closure Pt. 2

Pairing: Steve Harrington x plus size!reader

Warnings: swearing, anger, idk what else

Series Summary: You never knew Steve could be so shallow. When he leaves you to date Nancy Wheeler, you're left with a pain you thought he'd never leave with you. Maybe you should've stayed friends.

Part Summary: He wrote a letter. You don't need him. Right?

*Not Proof Read* Stranger Things Masterlist

Based off of Taylor Swift Song Closure. This was a request. I tried to make everything as general as possible. Pls let me know if missed something ty.

Pt. 1 Pt. 2 Pt. 3

*****

No one was supposed to know we were dating. Steve said he didn’t want his teammates to bug me. He didn’t want people to overreact when they found out about us and say mean shit. At the time, I agreed. I mean, Steve’s the king of Hawkins high. I wouldn’t be the first girl he’s dated who’s had rumors spread about them. 

Hiding us was harder than we thought. A month or so after we got together Tommy found out and told the whole team. Gradually the whole school found out. Gossip spreads like wildfire, especially in a town like Hawkins. 

During the weeks after we broke up, I started to think about our secret relationship.

He wasn’t trying to protect me. He was trying to protect his reputation. Steve might not show it but deep down he’s just like everyone else. He’s got insecurities too. He obsesses over anything negative that’s said about him, analyzing everything that others think is imperfect about him until he finds a way to change it.

That’s something I noticed sophomore year when we started to get a little closer.

He was kind to me, but he wasn’t perfect. I don’t know for sure but I think he still messed with underclassmen, bullying them for praise from Tommy and Carol. He wanted to be liked by everyone, especially those two assholes.

He was always going to pick them over me. 

“ Honey, this came in for you today. “ My mom breaks me out of my thoughts. 

I look up from my stack of paperwork. “ What? From who? “ My brows furrow in confusion. Who would send mail to my parents’ house? I haven’t lived here in years. 

“ It’s from Steve. “ My moms eyes scan over the stark white envelope. 

My heart sinks. 

What the fuck does he want? 

I haven’t seen or talked to him since graduation 7 years ago. What could he want with me? Last I heard he got a job at Family Video and Nancy broke up with him. 

He knows I’m here. He has to. Fucking Hawkins. When one person knows everyone knows. Mrs. Henderson must’ve told someone when I ran into her at the gas station. 

“ What ever happened to you and Steve? Do you both still talk? “ My mom asks curiously while handing over my mail. 

Oh right. I never told her. 

“ We fell out of touch. You know, life. " I shrug, hoping that's enough for her.

" Oh, that's so sad sweetie. I'm sorry. " She sends me a small sympathetic smile. " That's always hard when you lose touch with someone you love. " She gently pats my shoulder.

Love.

Steve didn't love me.

I send her a small smile, hoping to drop the topic. " It happens, ma. "

" Well, I'll you get to it. " She dismisses herself, leaving me to the letter in my hands.

I trace the sharp corners of the envelope. Should I open it? Do I want to?

I wonder what it says.

What could he have to say to me after all of these years? It couldn't be something worth my time. Not after the shit that happened in high school. Right?

But what if it is?

Fuck it. I'm curious.

I pull open the envelope and let the torn paper fall into my lap. A neatly folded letter greens me, the bright white stationary paper matching the envelope.

This is it. Here we go.

I pull open the letter. Dark blue pen lines starkly contrast the white paper. Steve's familiar handwriting fills a good portion of the page. At the bottom his squiggly signature lies, bold and exactly the same as I remember.

Y/N,

I hope this letter finds you. I heard you're back in town. I've been meaning to do this for a long time. I've debated writing to you for years. I didn't know if I had anything good enough to send to you.

I was an asshole to you. You didn't deserve how I broke up with you. I feel horrible about how I treated you. About how I let other people change my opinion and control my actions. I should've stood stronger with what I thought.

That's something I always loved about you. You didn't let other people sway your opinions. I'm sure you still don't. You thought for yourself.

You are so much braver than I am. You didn't compromise yourself for others.

I've thought about what happened for years. About how you must have felt.

I hope you're well. I hope you've been able to move on and you've continued to be yourself. I know I don't deserve to say that, I just wish you the best.

I wanted to explain to you why I did what I did. I owe it to you. I was selfish. I got caught up in the high school popularity shit. I know it's stupid. I wanted to be Hawkins High's main guy. I wanted the Prom King title. I wanted the attention.

I really did like you. You made me feel safe and understood. You were always patient and kind. You urged me to be me, even when I felt like caving under pressure. You liked me for me, not for who I was trying to be. You deserved better than me.

People started to talk. You know. You heard the rumors.

At first, I thought I could handle it. I thought it wouldn't bug me. I thought I could push past it all. I cracked. Tommy and Carol jumped on the wagon and it pushed me over the edge. I couldn't bare the thought of losing the respect I'd worked so hard to get. I couldn't handle the teasing I'd get from the guys after games or the looks Tommy'd send my way when he saw us together.

It was wrong. I didn't think about you. About how you must've felt and how you were handling everything that was going on. It was Senior Year. I should've held on. We would've been out of this shit hole in a few months anyway, I don't know why I didn't just ignore it all. That's one of my biggest regrets.

I've been in therapy for a few years now. I've worked past all that surface-level shallow shit. I really see just how much I hurt you, and for that I'm so sorry.

I don't expect you to forgive me. I just wanted you to know that you're the first girl I ever loved and I am so grateful for you. Our relationship sent me on a path to help myself, and for that I will always love you.

Thank you.

-Steve Harrington

P.S. The week before we broke up I was going to give this to you. I never did.

I glance down at the envelope in my lap and open it. At the bottom lays a shiny silver necklace. A small gem, my birthstone, lays in the center. It glimmers in the light. It's beautiful.

I turn the gem over and spot a small engraving on the back.

SH +Y/N

For a moment I'm torn.

Should I write him back? Should we talk?

Part of me does miss him. I miss his laugh. His playful teasing. The way he looked at me.

No.

He hurt me. A lot.

He can't just send a letter and make it better. Why didn't he talk to me in person if this really weighed on him as much as he says it did? Why didn't he call me?

I don't need him. I'm fine. I've been fine without him for years. I'm not going to let him back into my life because he feels bad about his actions and insecurities.

I left Hawkins for a reason. I needed to get away from Steve. I needed him out of my life.

I'm not going to let him back in for his sake.

I don't need him.

I stand up, taking the papers and necklace in my hand. I walk over to the trashcan near my dresser. Without a second thought, I drop everything into the can.

The necklace makes a small clunking sound as it hits the bottom of my empty can.

The rustling of papers quiets and so does my pounding heart.

I'm fine on my own.

(Do we like this ending? Or should I try to make another part? )

Taglist: @sublimepenguinpeach-blog @queen-apple24

[dgtn]

Hey all! So I wanted to take a few to introduce myself. Another blogger did this a few days back and I was just like omg I need to do that too!

So my name is Diane and I am at midlife now in terms of age. I have been married for over 20 years and have 2 amazing kids, a young man and a daughter.

We live in Tennessee. I love so many different genres of music - my playlist has everything from BTS to Carrie Underwood, Troye Sivan, Coldplay, Bon Jovi, Metallica, Aretha Franklin…you name it…it’s probably on my list!

Outside of BTS and Jikook I love spending time with my family, health, fitness, and making jewelry, and yes that includes BTS themed jewelry of course 😏

My favorite shows to watch are crime dramas and anything sci fi. I’m a huge Star Wars fan (I still remember going to see A New Hope when it came out!)

I have 5 fur babies- 4 dogs and a cat. We also have a gecko.

I am a cancer survivor, coming up on 8 years now. I've also had brain surgery - crazy crazy!

So now that that’s out of the way….let’s talk BTS.

I’ve always heard the saying: you don’t find BTS, BTS finds you when you need them. This is true for me too (more on that later ).

I discovered BTS when I heard Butter for the first time back in 2021. I thought it was a catchy song and wanted to know more about the band behind the song. And so it began. I looked up BTS on the internet and the first member I came across? Jimin of course. My first thoughts were my god he is gorgeous. And his voice - are you kidding me! I’ve been around a long time and I have never heard a voice like that! So of course I needed to know more. Next came Jungkook. Uh….wow! That man is beautiful too! And his voice! I mean come on!!!! I had never heard of kpop before BTS so I had no idea about the world of kpop or any of its inner workings.

So into the world of BTS I dove. I went on line and started watching their music videos and started listening to more of their music and really really liking it. I slowly discovered the world of BTS online; Bangtan Bombs, In The Soop, Lives, Run Episodes, etc. Of course, watching all of these...I started to wonder, what's up with Jimin and Jungkook? Definitely caught a different vibe from them. So.....started watching jikook videos. Then, I discovered GCFT - and that sealed the deal for me. No looking back from that point. I remember the first time I watched it (yup, like yourself Ive watched it way more than once!!!) I was blown away and my reaction was "these 2 are in love with each other".

I absolutely love love love Jimin and Jungkook (as I’m sure you can tell from my blog!). I love them as individuals and I love them as a couple. They have something SO very special together and I just get so much joy out of seeing their relationship now and how it has grown over the years. They went from seriously crushing on each other in the early days of BTS to being in a long term fully committed monogomous relationship. I do believe that they are in this for life and have committed to each other for life. What that exactly looks like I'm not sure as they are still "In the Closet". My hope for them is that one day they will be able to show us their love for each freely and openly.

So getting back to BTS and how they found me when I needed them. I am officially mid life, in my 50's. I have always been a stay at home mom. My son is high functioning autistic. Throughout his schooling we really struggled with finding the right fit for him academically. When we moved to TN we eventually decided to home school him which became a huge priority of mine. Homeschooling was not easy. When he graduated high school it was such an accomplishment. I will admit that it also left me very emotionally drained. Being a mom in general is really hard (best job in the world!!!). We always put our children first before everything else; it's just what we do.

As my children have grown and continued to become more independent I actually started thinking about what I want to do for me. It's a foreign concept because as a mom I've never really thought that way. That was right about the time I discovered BTS (see where I'm going with this?). Their message of love yourself, take care of yourself, was something that really resonated with me. I know it might sound crazy but that "glow up" that some people have experienced through BTS happened to me too. I have found the time to "love myself" as BTS says. I am really putting myself first for the first time in my life. I am still here for my family 100% but I am also finding the time to take care of myself :) I am on that journey to find balance in my life and BTS has most definitely played a big role in that!

I absolutely love BTS as a band and as individuals. I have really enjoyed getting to know them and I look forward to sharing my love of BTS and jikook with all y'all for years to come :) I have met some wonderful people through Tumblr; some of whom I have become very close to and consider dear friends; and I feel so grateful and blessed to have these peeps in my life. I am really excited to see what the future holds for these 7 incredibly talented young men who came into our lives.

One thing for sure, The Best is Yet To Come.

Xoxo 😘

[thinkingjasico]

I feel like we need a jasico au like 13 going on 30. So...

They are childhood friends who lived next door to each other since they were little kids (wait, I just thought about the You Belong With Me video with them talking by writing on papers and showing it to each other through the window of their rooms and I WANT THAT FOR THEM IN THIS AU) and the two were always very closed in their own little world and loved it. Jason loved to write and Nico loved to take pictures, and the two of them would go to a forest on the way between their school and their houses and spend entire afternoons there together doing what they loved, studying together and even building a fort there (something like that little fort in Anne With an E that she and Diana do together, you know?).

But when they are about to start high school, Jason's father pressures him a lot to join the football team to get a sports scholarship in college to follow the plans he has for him. Jason, always afraid of disappointing his father and never having the support of his mom, joins the team and from then on everything changes. Jason doesn't want to leave Nico, but Nico gets angry and says that Jason has changed too much and breaks their friendship up. During this period let's say that the whole school finds out that Nico was gay and he suffers a lot of bullying, especially from Jason's friends, and whenever Jason tries to defend him, Nico says he doesn't want his help. Anyway, the two go through high school very lonely and hating every second of it.

On graduation day, Jason discovers he was accepted to the college his father wants and he definitely doesn't want to go. All he wanted was to follow the plan he and Nico had: going to college in New York, Jason studying literature and Nico arts, they were going to live in the dorms and explore the city together, then when they finished college they would share an apartment, and before that, backpack to several different places together. And on his graduation day, seeing that his life was turning into the opposite of that, Jason freaks out and runs away from the graduation ceremony. To make it a little comical I think it could be that there was a storm and he was struck by lightning, and that is the event that will throw him into the future at the age of 30.

Then he sees that his life really did follow the plan his father had for him, and that his life sucks just as he imagined. He actually lived in New York, but working at a marketing company that ran some problematic campaigns, was engaged to a girl he barely knew, and living in a luxury apartment with an empty life. He looks for Nico and finds him living in the neighborhood they've always wanted to live in, Nico is engaged to a relatively nice guy (you know who) and Jason talks to him (who is shocked that Jason looked for him after so many years) and finds out that Nico did exactly what their plan was, but alone.

After that, it takes Nico a while to believe this crazy time travel story, but once he does, Nico tries to help Jason fix his life (which is what Jason thinks will get him back). Jason runs an incredible marketing campaign with the help of Nico and his wonderful photos, and obviously the two admit to each other that they've always liked each other, but Nico says that it's too late now, that there's nothing he can do to fix that part of Jason's life.

Even feeling alone and lost after Nico said that, Jason returns to his parents' house and finally faces his father and throws in his face everything he swallowed in silence for all these years. Leaving there in a storm, Jason is struck by lightning again, and it sends him back to his graduation day. He wakes up in the hospital and sees his father fighting with a nurse in the hallway, and then he sees that Nico was in his room, looking at him worried. Nico says that he just wanted to see how he was doing but that he was leaving, but Jason asks him to stay and tells him that he was accepted to the college they wanted, and Nico says that he was accepted too. When Jason’s father returns to the room, they have a conversation about college and Jason says he will go to the one he wants. Of course his dad tries to say that Jason is just very confused after what happened, that these ideas soon will pass. But Jason stands firm in what he wants. His father really doesn't support him, and his mother as usual continues in silence, but Jason moves to New York with Nico anyway, and Thalia helps him as much as she can.

Jason doesn't tell Nico at first how he feels about him, but after they've moved to start college and everything is going well, he simply hands Nico a notebook for him to read, and in that notebook he basically made a collage with a compilation of all the things he ever wrote about Nico since they were little. From silly poems comparing how Jason looked forward to their time together even more than he did for the day of french fries in the cafeteria- that he wrote at age 7, to huge texts he wrote about Nico in the last few years they spent apart. And, obviously, Nico says Jason is a simp. But, obviously, Nico kisses him.

If you have jasico childhood friends fic recs, pls share them in the comments or rb and you will have 7 years of luck <3

This idea was itching my brain since my beloved reader @marshr00m was talking to me about jasico childhood aus

[thisdorkyblogthing]

Hi! I adore your blog and was wondering if you had some headcanons for Thor or Loki you would like to share or any AUs? :3

😊

Thank you!! And I definitely have some AU ideas:

(listed in no particular order)

Kidnapping AU 1:

Loki's a troubled popstar and Thor's his long time stalker/#1 fan/kidnapper

Loki started rising to fame from youtube as a teen and got scooped up out of his shitty home life by a Big Name Producer (Ihe Grandmaster) and they totally started their loooong on again/off again relationship as soon as Loki turned 18 and not a moment sooner

Loki also started to develop problems with drugs an alcohol, which I'm sure has nothing to do with the last point

Around the same time Loki's becoming popular on youtube, a troubled, teenaged Thor comes across one of his videos and an obsession is born

Thor, having decided that he needs to be Loki's protector, joins the military and does surprisingly well for like ~10 years

as long as no one EVER makes any jabs about his taste in music, lighthearted or otherwise

Thor's discharged when a higher up makes a joke about some of Thor's Loki paraphernalia and Violence Happens)

hey! at least Thor has a lot more free time to REALLY get in to stalking Loki!

which is really great timing bc he senses that Loki's gonna relapse again - with The Grandmaster's help.... and thinks he might have more planned... (and maybe he's right)

so he takes matters into his own stong, beefy hands

Oh No, My Roommate's Little Brother Is Hot:

Thor and Helblindi are friends that have been living together since the start of their junior year in college, and are getting ready for their senior year

Loki's just graduated highschool and is getting ready to start at the same school in the fall and wants to stay with them over the summer so he can have a head start on getting settled in

Helblindi has been de-hyping Loki to Thor HARD, so he expects some ugly gawky little dork to show up

except OOPS HE'S ACTUALLY HE'S BEAUTIFUL, and a bit of a gawky dork, but in a very cute way

which is a problem because he's never actually mentioned that he's bisexual to Helblindi and Bro Code probably dictates to not lust over your bro's lil bro

even when the lil bro in question starts flirting with you

(Loki thought he was having a witty banter with a chill straight guy until he realized Thor was, in fact, not straight at all, and he was actually just flirting with a hot guy oops)

Helblindi finds himself a girlfriend and keeps bringing her over for ~sleepovers~ and she's uh, a bit loud about it so Thor and Loki end up going on cute little late night adventures that aren't romantic at all and don't result in any kisses under the moonlight

more moonlight kisses may or may not happen, resulting in a secret 'I think we're boyfriends?' scenario until Helblindi catches them and is NOT pleased with Thor's blatant disregard of the Bro Code

Kidnapping AU 2:

Loki's the black sheep of his of his very wealthy and powerful family. He's gotten into trouble a few times in the past and went to art school instead of getting into law or business or something more useful to them

so like, he gets that he's not the favorite but they still love him, right? (....... RIGHT??)

and then a couple nights before one of his brothers is set to get married, while out on the town for the bachelor party, Loki steps out of the club they're in for some air and to get a break from being either getting relentlessly shit on and iced out by everyone in turns when he's suddenly snatched up and manhandled away by some big surfer looking dude.

said surfer dude is Thor- an environmental activist whose name is featured on many top 10 lists for his favorite hobby of 'destroying shit to save nature' and he was good enough at it that the government definitely thought he was working in a group for a while there. He's a winner and his mom is very proud (maybe, they probably haven't talked in a while, he's busy.)

He thinks kidnapping Loki is going to be a great way to get his demands heard, unfortunately, he didn't seem to realize that Loki was the spare son and that the family is in no rush to get him back and seems more than a little annoyed about the fact that Loki had to go and be so damned kidnappable

"Wow, that's so fucked up dude." -Thor probably.

Loki's so heartbroken and enraged that he's ready to firebomb that gaudy-ass wedding himself

There's more but I'll stop there bc I'm Tired and this is getting long as hell.

[butters-flower-mom]

Just curious, I'm wondering how you got into South Park since you don't fit most people's idea of somebody that would be a fan of the show.

I'm honestly not sure how I ended up into it myself since it's so outside all of my other interests. I watched it when I was far too young. A lot of things in it were disturbing but I watched it anyway because it was a show for adults and at the time I wanted to be mature, which in my immature mind meant watching things that were sexual and violent and not playing Pokemon anymore.

I was also going through major changes in my life with my parents divorcing, moving away from my best friend, being forced to go to a new school, and my mom instantly remarrying and getting pregnant. My mom also wasn't paying much attention to what my brother and I were getting into so it was easy for us to watch the show. At first we only had rented VHS tapes because our new house didn't have cable or satellite. A friend of the family would babysit us at her house and her older kids would let us watch episodes on TV with them.

I don't remember when exactly it happened but I became attached to Butters. He was my fave before he got his very own episode, I know that for sure. I don't know if I would have kept watching the show if it weren't for Butters. I was no longer watching it just to seem adult. The show became comforting to me somehow and only became more comforting as Butters got more and more screen time. I remember being terrified they were killing him off when his mom tried to drown him and I was fully prepared to drop the show if they did.

By Season 6 I was in high school which absolutely sucked. I had no friends. All anyone there seemed to care about was parties and sex and I wasn't into those things so I was a loser. My mom's new husband was an abusive drunk. It felt like my life was falling apart. I did things to hurt myself. But through all of this Butters was there. And he was suffering too with the way his friends and parents treated him. We were suffering together. He made me feel less alone. His speech in Raisins made me somehow love him even more. He got me through high school.

As I graduated from high school and entered my 20's my interest in the show began to fade. I'd watch episodes if I learned Butters played a big role in them but I stopped watching the show consistently. Eventually I stopped watching it all together. I think the last new episode I managed to catch was Where My Country Gone? while I was flipping through channels. I saw they gave Butters a long-distance girlfriend and it kinda felt like catching up with an old friend and finding out you're both in a better place than when you last saw each other. (I was blissfully unaware of how short-lived his relationship with Charlotte was and how ugly their breakup was.)

Then around March of last year I randomly got recommended a video essay about Butters on YouTube. By this point I had ironically become almost anti-South Park, maybe due in part because of the fact it doesn't line up with the rest of my cute and soft interests. But I clicked the video because I remembered how much he used to mean to me and instantly all the love I had for him came flooding back. I'm not sure if it ever really left. I might love him even more now. We both made it through. We're both still here. And we both found each other again.

[nothingunrealistic]

and what of 15 for kleinsen...

15. things you said with too many miles between us

“Nothing but hiking and yoga and kayaking and having to wear a dress shirt to eat inside.” The background of Jared’s end of the video call shifts from a rapidly receding doorway to a bedspread and pillows. “And I don’t even get my own room. It’s fucking ridiculous.”

“Hiking’s not so bad.”

“That’s just, like, your opinion, man. If I’m gonna be stuck in the Catskills with my parents for a week, the least they could do is get Patrick Swayze to show up.”

“Why Patrick Swayze?” Evan sits down at his desk and rifles through his memory. “I thought he died.”

“Because otherwise it’s not a Dirty Dancing homage. And yes.”

“It’s a what homage?”

“The movie. Dirty Dancing. ‘Nobody puts Baby in a corner’? ‘I’ve had the time of my life’?” Evan’s confusion must show on his face as clearly as frustration shows on Jared’s. “Do you watch anything other than nature documentaries?”

“I watch documentaries about other things.”

“Typical,” Jared mutters, as if he’s genuinely disappointed in Evan and not at all excited to add a new title to his mental list of Movies To Make Evan Watch When We Hang Out. (Well, he claims it’s a mental list. Evan suspects he has a spreadsheet.) “Are your finals done yet?”

“No. I still have two left.” And as he discovered last semester, finals for three college classes somehow require as much studying as eight high school finals. Especially when he’s studying by himself while Jared, whose semester ended a month ago, is on the other side of the state complaining about a vacation that’s rewarding him for making the dean’s list. That’s what Mom said Jared’s mom said it was for, anyway. Jared insists it’s because going away to college made his parents realize they missed having someone to order around.

“That sucks.”

“Yeah.” Evan shuffles through the papers on his desk one-handed. “Um. My mom looked up the place where you’re staying, and she said they had, you can throw tomahawks, as an activity.” He had the printouts about it just yesterday, where did they go? “That sounds cool.”

“Yeah, but they only have it twice a week, and we missed the Monday session, so Friday’s my last shot. And that’s if my mom doesn’t convince herself that I’m gonna cut my own head off throwing an axe.”

“Tomahawk.”

“Whichever. Besides, they have, like, safety precautions and training. But if we were here in the winter, she’d say we have to check out the ski trails. That shit isn’t supervised, and statistically…”

Connor hated skiing.

It pops into Evan’s head and stays lodged in there as Jared goes on about all the ways you can be horribly maimed while skiing. It reminds him that a year ago he was counting the days until graduation and wondering which of his classmates he’d ever see again, and a year and a half ago he was literally sick with dread waiting for either Jared or the Murphys to turn his world upside down by going public, and two years ago —

“…are you even listening to me right now?”

“No,” Evan says, then cringes. “I kind of zoned out. Sorry.”

“I kind of figured.”

“I was just thinking that, um.” That if a thousand things hadn’t happened just right, they wouldn’t be having this conversation. “I’m glad we’re friends again. Or still, or, however you think of it.”

“Uh, okay. Same here, I guess.” Jared rubs his eyes with the heel of his hand. For a while. They look pretty red.

“Jared, are you —”

“My contacts are probably expired,” Jared says quickly. “And the pollen here is insane. How am I supposed to see straight with a thousand trees jizzing in my eyes?”

“Gross.”

“But accurate.”

“I mean, not exactly —”

“If I wanted a botany lesson, I’d go on the nature tour again. And I wouldn’t learn anything this time.”

(send me a ship and a prompt and i’ll write a mini fic)

[menaceadored]

saw someone mention at the end of season three, steve listing his mom as one of his references on his application to family video is proof that he doesn't have neglectful parents. personally, i favor the idea that steve has a complicated relationship with his mom

I like to imagine that he and his mother were very close when he was a child, practically inseparable, attached at the hip. His mother spoke to him not like he was her son, but her closest friend, her cherished confidant. Likely over sharing when it came to adult matters like issues in her marriage which unsurprisingly led to Steve's own appropriately negative feelings for his father.

Their relationship only started to dwindle when Steve became a teenager and started hanging out with kids like Tommy and Carol and taking on the role of 'King Steve'. He was going through a lot and his father, who never appreciated the bond between him and his mother, was putting a lot of pressure on him to prove himself 'as a man'. He still loved his mother, obviously, but she could tell he was pulling away, keeping secrets when he had previously told her everything, getting into trouble which was so unlike the sweet boy she had once confided in. So, for the next few years, they drift apart and get into petty arguments over nothing.

All the while, his parents' marriage only seems to be growing further apart as well. Steve wonders why they won't just get divorced and save them all the headache.

It's only after Nancy Wheeler gives Steve a thump on the head that turns him around that his mother starts to recognize him and they start talking again. It's not exactly the same as when he was a kid. Steve still has secrets he can't tell her. He's seen things now that he can't explain, doesn't even know where to begin. But he tells her about his breakup with Nancy, about Tommy ditching him for Billy Hargrove, about babysitting Dustin and the kids and how somehow he's almost happier now being friends with a bunch of 12 year olds than he ever was as 'King Steve'. They're talking and honestly, he's just happy to see his mother laugh like she used to.

It's after his graduation when he gets into a heated, semi-physical argument with his father, (disappointed he didn't get into any of the schools he'd planned for Steve to attend and convinced he's a failure, the first time his father has laid a hand on him), that he realizes that despite how unhappy she is in her marriage or his newly busted lip, his mother will never leave his father. But Steve can't find it in himself blame her.

He's always been able to read his mother so easily, like her emotions were his own and he could tell exactly what she was feeling just by being in the same house with her or from the pauses she took over the phone. So without explanation, he understands that in some strange, complicated way, his mother loves his father and always will no matter how he treats her. Or Steve. So she won't leave him and Steve would never convince her otherwise.

Still, at times he finds himself feeling incredibly angry with her, wants to yell, and scream, and beg her to stand up for herself. Stand up for him. But he never does, would never take his anger out on her in that way. Because for some reason, ever since he was a child, Steve has felt this strange responsibility for his mother. This need to shelter her and protect her feelings. And really, he doesn't think that she's the one to blame. So no, he never yells or shows anger towards his mother.

He calls her when she's on business trips and keeps her in the loop on what's going on in his life, tells her about his job at Scoops, his weird coworker Robin (who eventually becomes his best friend Robin), the kids, everything (besides Upside Down matters or anything he feels might upset her). And when both of his parents are in town he stays out of the house. Limits his interactions with his father to as little as possible and only spends time with his mother when the man isn't around. It works for them. It keeps their relationship intact.

Because as much as Steve feels a responsibility to protect his mother and her feelings, he also knows he needs her just as much and couldn't bare to lose her completely. So he compromises because a part of him fears that if his mother were forced to choose between him and his father-

So yeah, Steve lists his mom as a reference on his application to Family Video because his mom is well respected and could go on and on about how wonderful her son is and he loves her and trusts her. Their relationship is just complicated.

[forcebookish]

Hey so you don't have to answer this if you dont have the time or anything but I really love all your takes on the show and was wondering if you had any thoughts/theories especially when it comes to mew's revenge and how you think all that is gonna go down. I'm just asking cuz I spent too much time in the tags and saw people that legit think mew is gonna sleep with boston or ray lmfao and I just need some good takes from someone that actually gets his character to drown it out.

oh, anon, i am at this level at all times,

so of course i will answer this, i need very little prompting haha (and i'm glad you're loving my only friends takes❣️) BUT OMG IMAGINE THINKING THAT MEW WOULD SLEEP WITH BOSTON AFTER ALL THAT CAN'T RELATE BECAUSE I HAVE A BRAIN LOL trying to drown him is their foreplay i guess lmao ppl are really out here writing fanfiction and calling it "predictions"🤣🤣🤣

however, as for sleeping with ray, i'm not entirely sure actually! if at all, definitely not in the next episode, although it does look like mew is going to forgive him for ruining his birthday

and my hope is that it's, in part, because ray is actually going to get sober. we've already seen that mew is maybe a little too forgiving when it comes to ray.

but i don't think that now that mew has ~lost his virginity~ he's going to suddenly jump into bed with anyone. like how falling in and out of love isn't a switch you can flick on and off, losing your virginity after being that particular isn't a dam breaking. and when it comes to ray, i think mew's got a couple reasons for not wanting to be with ray and rejecting him when he did: not only because he "can't hook up with his friend," but because ray is a hot fucking mess. mew's already gone through a lot because of ray's addiction. plus, now that he knows how long ray has been holding that torch and how hard it's been burning, mew's smart enough not to fan the flames. especially based on his attitude in the above cap.

and we have this to look forward to:

which i'm sure will be related to mew, but might be about something that hasn't even been set up yet, idk. we're only halfway through D:

all this to say, to your actual point, as angry as mew was at ray he's not going to be one of the "targets" for his revenge. boston's definitely going to get the brunt of it, and i'm hoping in the process mew will find out/realize what top's part actually was in all of this - and soon!!! it's tearing me up inside that mew thinks top slept with boston to mess with him and their whole relationship was a lie😭

as for how the revenge will be planned/play out, i've got a few of loose, disconnected ideations but nothing concrete:

sabotaging boston's part of the hostel project, specifically finding a way that he can fail without hurting mew's grades in the process (which i'm guessing may backfire)

(side-note: if nickboston are endgame at all, i don't think they're going to actually get back together but i do think that boston is going to move to new york to be with his mom/pursue photography - because i do not see him graduating without mew's help lol - and that nick is going to follow him. they may meet up with each other again, but no matter what i think it's going to be open-ended.)

leaking the audio recording and/or gap's video of him and boston, thus sabotaging boston's dad's campaign; this would definitely involve nick like book hinted, and hopefully will reveal all of what went down in the car. (there also could be footage from the photobooth where top and boston hooked up and/or security cam footage of the elevator in top's hotel, as @topapologist pointed out to me. that might be overkill though.) my guess is that mew's creepy bathtub brain-blast in the preview is going to be related to that, and after he finds out from ray where he got the recording, which should lead him to nick. and because of the full audio, mew will not only find out that top was coerced, but that boston has some kind of sex tape that "proves" mew and ray slept together. i've hidden this in the tags of some other post, but i do have a suspicion that the video boston showed top was the video gap took of them, either edited to make it hard to see or otherwise, especially since we don't see it or hear it. however, since it's been hinted that gap may still have a copy, nick might get it from there idk

something something nick is into animation something something lmao that could be totally unrelated!! but that seems to be where papang at least comes into it at least, seen here:

and my wildest, totally out of left field, am 99% sure won't happen, just for giggles prediction is that mew frames boston for arson lol

i thought i had more about the revenge but guess not🤔 i do think that the first two are going to be in tandem, but if there's anything else going on or how it specifically goes down, no idea.

I'VE ALREADY WRITTEN TOO MUCH FOR ONE POST/ANSWER BUT SINCE WE'RE HERE LET'S GET INTO MY CURRENT PREDICTIONS JUST SO IT'S ALL IN ONE PLACE (FOR NOW):

boeing is going to show up as the ex that sand said top "stole" - i've been thinking this for a while and i would assume it's become a popular theory now that we're sure mix is coming on to the show as boeing.

the ominous music cue when mew found the toy airplane seems like a lot just to indicate that top was going to lie about it, there has to be a deeper reason than just "it was my ex's"

the obviously abridged version of the truth that top tells mew later in the episode may be related to "stealing" him from sand, to hide an ugly side of himself he didn't want mew to see (we already know that he's uncomfortable talking about stuff that happened before meeting mew, see: beam - although i will maintain that beam made him uncomfortable in general because of their sexual history and whatever trauma he's secretly got going on)

however, i also think boeing either "pursued" top rather than the other way around and/or top didn't know that boeing was taken. i've got a few reasons:

top doesn't go after people who are "taken," based on this line when he first met mew (even though mew's wristband meant he wasn't looking for anyone), perhaps because he "learned his lesson" but i don't think so

i think this line

is a red herring. it's meant for us to think that top was the one who came on stronger, right? but i think it has more to do with boeing coming on stronger to top. (but maybe i'm just looking with my top lovin' goggles😅)

relative to "coming on stronger," i think that boeing may have something to do with why top shuts down when boston gropes him and why he's instantly on his guard when beam touches him (even before seeing who it was). it may have been another case where someone took advantage of him that he blames himself for - might've been the first case.

top is going to steal mew's pain medication.

this one's pretty obvious, although i suppose since the above q photo was staged between shots, it could be a red herring (i no longer think it's a suicide attempt, although that might have been the original intent based on the pilot trailer. they deleted/privated the pilot trailer for a reason; we picked that shit apart like wild animals lol). they reference the medication, they're definitely opioids, and we already know that top's drug of choice is some kind of opioid/opiate. it looks episode 7 might pick up right where episode 6 ended, since it's the same outfit, you know, before he got shirtless lol we also know that it's going to be harder than ever to sleep without mew and who knows what his tolerance level for his sleeping pills is at this point.

i might be forgetting something i've posted about or chatted about with friends already but for now, i rest my case lol

as always, i wrote too much, but these are still only small fractions of what may play out and i find that really exciting. guessing twists is a lot of fun, but how we get there or seeing them be built up especially without really knowing what's going to happen is the most fun to me! episode 6 was a wild ride: a lot of my predictions were correct but they still only made up, like, 10% of what actually happened. there was so much stuff i never would have guessed! even when it was breaking my heart, i loved it.

hope you enjoyed these takes too, anon! <3

[lsdunesarchive]

L.S. Dunes talks about inspiration at The Basement East Q&A on July 9, 2023 | 🎥: Mass Broadcast

Transcript under the cut (special thanks to my dear friend @thekintsugidyke who helped me with the transcription ♡)

Question: I'm right here! I was wondering if there's, like, a certain song or, like, band that inspired you guys to do what you do. 

Frank: Man...

Tim: There's so many! 

Frank: Yeah, it's a hard one. I feel like it's just like amalgamation of, like, you know, the experiences that you had or, like, the records that you love growing up. I remember like, early on, like, I wanted to write songs really, really bad, and so, like, my dad got me a guitar from his guitar player in his band. And, for the longest time, I was like, oh man, this is really hard. Like, I'm not gonna be able to figure this out... So, I would just put it on, stand in front of the mirror, and, like, listen to my favorite songs and pretend to play, and then, at some point, there was, like, a ceremony, had a graduation ceremony or some shit happening at my grammar school, and I had told my friend that I played guitar, because I, you know, I had a guitar and, I was like, yeah, I play guitar, and so that kid, like... When they came into, like, they're like, "Hey, we're gonna have an assembling, we need someone that plays guitar. Does anyone play guitar?", and my friend was like, "Oh, he plays guitar!" so, I had to learn it, and it was fucking awesome, like, I fucking... I was like, why didn't I do this sooner, this is crazy. I mean, really, it's probably a span of, like, three months, but it was such a feeling of, like, accomplishment, you know? And a confidence booster...

Anthony: Yeah.

Frank: And then, going to see like, you know, local shows of, like, kids that were my age putting on shows and, like, the bands that were like, my age. So it was like, fuck, man, I can do this. This is crazy! And yeah, and that was the big thing. It wasn't, like, a specific song or a specific like, you know, band. It was just the experience of knowing that you can accomplish something or do something like that. 

Anthony: I remember it being, like, in 7th grade and watching Green Day, and, like, listening to Green Day and being like, I can do this, you know what I mean? And, like, watching them on MTV, because they, like, used to play that shit they would play... I remember this one concert that, like, watching them at, like, 7th grade, and watching them play this concert, and being like, fuck, this is like, that looks easy! Not easy, but like, it looks attainable, and like, being really inspired by Green Day at like, a weird time in my life. But, like, before I could go to, like, shows that myself and shit like that, I remember really loving that band and, like, watching them, I mean, like, learning how to play their songs by watching them on TV. 

Tucker: For me, it was skateboarding. I remember, you know, all I did when I was a kid was skateboard, and I learned about, all of my music was through, like, Thrasher Magazine, watching skate videos and, like, loving that alternative culture, and then I convinced my mom, when I was 14, to drop me off in a really horrible fucking neighborhood in Trenton, New Jersey... City Gardens! To see The Bouncing Souls, and I was, like, the youngest person there, and...

Anthony: It's also a really bad place.

Tucker: ...by myself. It's fucking terrible. My mom's insane for doing that, but I just remember, like, being scared in the back, and just watching this, and being like, I'm terrified, but this is so cool that I just stuck with it... Bouncing Souls!

Frank: Yeah!

Anthony: It's one of my first shows too, swinging out to the Bouncing Souls and the Descendents.

[We couldn't understand a thing of what they were saying in this part, sorry]

Travis: Roll? Roll up! Uh, I do have actually a specific moment that I remember... My father was a songwriter, so there was guitars around all the time, and I grew up watching music with him, but I didn't really connect with it, like, I remember I was probably about nine, or ten... and my father had a lot of acoustic guitars around, and I saw the video for Patience by Guns and Roses, and I looked at his guitars, and I was like, "Oh, it's the same kind!", so I picked it up and, as far as I was concerned, in the next hour, I had fifteen songs. Like, it was just even going... That's a tune! But yeah, it's like, jerk out with your Bob Marley guitar!

Tucker: He's not the best. 

Travis: No, no... But yeah, that was a moment, like, because, from then on, I just kept playing, and then I wanted the electric, and, for me, it really was just, also, a lot of being able to collaborate with friends, you know, I was in a lot of bands from very early on, and we would cover songs, and stuff like that, like, you know, we would... whether it be covering a Violent Femmes song, or a Misfits song or like, you know, just, it was about learning those songs and getting better that way. 

Tim: Oh, now I have to...

Travis: Yeah, you gotta... You’re on the hot seat.

Tim: I remember me and my friend in elementary school would always just talk about starting a band, but neither of us even played an instrument, we'd just, like, pretend, and then, he decided that he wanted to play guitar, so I couldn't. And then, I remember actually getting Jane's Addiction's Ritual de lo Habitual, and just hearing the bass on that... Eric Avery is a huge, huge influence for me, and I was always just, like, too self-conscious to, just, do it, and then my mom just signed me up for bass lessons one day, because I never shut up about it, and then, I just sat in my room, and just, like, listened to everything from, you know, Jane's, Green Day, Operation Ivy... Anything! Fugazi... And just learned, learned literally every single baseline I could. And then, it wasn't really until Thursday started that I was actually in a band, it was something I always wanted to do, but that was the first time all the pieces, kind of, fell into place. But yeah, I mean, just, music in general, I think it was huge in all our lives from a really early age... 

Tucker: Thank God you did, because you are the foundation of this entire band. 

Travis: And, it's interesting that you mentioned Eric Avery, because that's always what I like, a lot of the songs, how they come about... 

Anthony: Yeah, you definitely have that style.

Travis: I consider it to be a very Eric Avery, kind of... Not that you're biting the style... 

Tim: No, I certainly do! 

Anthony: No, but once you think about it makes sense, you know what I mean? 

Travis: It's not so on the nose...

Tucker: And now that you can fly to his house, whenever you want... Freak. 

Travis: I'll get there first, 'cause I could teleport. 

Tim: I should have done that. 

Anthony: And no one will see you, right? 

Travis: I'd be straight invisible! I'll see what he's doing before he even knows he's doing it.

[thestangossip]

Teacher anon here! I wrote everything half asleep over pizza after Saturday parent semester meetings and after rereading what I wrote I realized I rambled a tad without circling back to my full thought and want to finish it while I’m not snoozing in pepperoni grease.

As a teacher, I’m flattered when my students want to jokingly call me mom or want hugs or comfort when things are rough. I’m absolutely okay with that as long as it’s clear that I’m not their replacement parent and any hug has to be with other people around and not full frontal body. I’m fulfilled as a person to not have my own kids with how much love I have for my students, I’d do anything for them. And they know this. Some kids photoshopped my face onto Rambo after the Uvalde shooting when I told them I’d take down an army on my own before I let anything happen to them.

But at the end of the day, I’m not their legal guardian. I’m an adult in power regardless of my gender who has to draw lines that they may not understand or know about now but will appreciate when they’re older. I’ve happily held a middle school male student who cried hard when his sister passed away unexpectedly and his parents gave me the okay. I’ve happily let kids eat lunch with me in my classroom with the door wide open and let neighboring teachers know, and I’m known as the fun openly gay teacher who wears witty t-shirts with fitted jeans and colorful blazers and costume jewelry who will always show up for all of their recitals and what not at school. I brag that I’m the proud mama bear of 332 kids in the 10+ years I’ve been doing this, and I mean it with how I keep their gifts and still hang up their drawings and letters on my wall far after they’ve graduated. Because I get how wonderful it is to bond with someone who looks up to you knowing you’re a safe place for them be themselves while being loved and accepted unconditionally.

Which brings me to Pedro. Again, I’m not a fan or a Stan and what I know is from this blog and glancing at other tumblrs when I’m feeling nosey. He seems like a genuinely good but greatly insecure man who appears to form really tight but unhealthy and fleeting relationships with people in his life regardless of age or gender. For that reason, his fans need to hold him to a greater standard with younger costars regardless of their legality. Would they be okay with this if it were Leo DiCaprio that Bella was doing this to? No. Thank you to that anon for bringing that video up cause it proved my point further that this bond Bella has seems to be with just Pedro and that’s a major red flag regardless if she’s a legal adult now. He knew her at 17. If any of my students held me and rubbed up against me like that as students or recent graduates I’d be fired. I’d have to go to meetings and a school appointed therapist to determine if I’m fit to be around kids and I could have my licenses revoked. And no, I’m not being overly dramatic. Being a teacher accused of inappropriate behaviors has major consequences that can ruin your career for life. And yes, even if it’s a former student because it makes the school wonder how long that was going on for and with who else.

Pedro and older actors of any gender need to step back and ask if they behaved like this at any other job, how would this come off? What would the consequences be? What can they do to form a healthy relationship while being responsible for their own accountability with a young ward who has mental illnesses and anxieties? Forcing this cute narrative because fans are projecting their image of fatherhood onto Pedro is unhealthy and is what leads to older people in Hollywood taking advantage of anxiety riddled young stars with codependency issues. If Bella is THAT anxious, she needs a support animal and therapist to give her the tools needed to form and enforce healthy boundaries with men like Pedro who don’t know how to draw those lines themselves. Pedro can trust himself all he wants, but that doesn’t mean we do as viewers and he needs to make clear boundaries on media platforms because yes he does owe us that as a responsible adult with a former child costar just like any adult working with kids and young adults. I know I’d never be inappropriate with a student, but I still keep my doors open and my boundaries clear to guardians and fellow teachers that I’m trustworthy and responsible rather than gaslight them for thinking otherwise. I’ll continue to side eye him and anyone else who tries to disagree, because Pedro is not an exception to any rule regardless of parasocial ideas of who he is when none of us know him or what he’s capable of behind closed doors and I really hope Bella can find the appropriate help she needs to maintain a friendship with Pedro or anyone as a legal adult without relying on them as a cure for her anxieties.

You bring up so many points.

[ssstardust3001]

Personal log:

My sore arm is doing pretty well, though my fingertips are tingly, like pins and needles. My grip strength is also not as it was, but is still better than most humans. I think the bullet injured a major nerve in my arm and it hasn't been properly healed without scarring. It's just another thing to deal with though.

Sometimes I remember that it's a wonder that I survived childhood...I would have died if I needed major surgery or a blood transfusion or had gotten sick and my physiology would've react to the illness in a way a human's wouldn't...Now that I think about it, my childhood was pretty fucked up.

Mom left me, doctors were untrained in Vulcan medicine -apparently my internal structure and biology is closer to theirs than to human biology, never trained to use any of my "exceptional" psi abilities which probably is why I have chronic migraines, emotional regulation was out of wack which led to fights in my youth and adulthood...and my nervous breakdown.

I remember as a kid they'd diagnose me with all sorts of things and give me medicine that would just make me feel foggy and wrong, and I'd be told to suck it up until I got sicker.

You know, I wonder if I've suffered any rights violations on account of my dad being the way he is, very human-centric. I was never human enough for him, guess that's why I'm fucked up. [He chuckles then sighs.] I always had to adjust for them, for his crew. They'd never adjust for me.

I never told anyone this, but this is my personal log, so what the hell. When I was a kid, I broke my pinky finger, left hand. Felt like I couldn't tell anyone even though it hurt really bad. I knew that my dad would have yelled at me, shamed me, so I just kinda dealt with it. Anyway, it's crooked now. I was told they'd have to re-break it to fix it, and I'd rather not if it still functions. Plus it's not noticeable unless I have my fingers pressed together. It was broken near the knuckle, and goes out at a slight angle.

Hell, it's pretty fucked up that when I had top surgery they admitted that they scheduled it out further than normal because they needed time to study and get blood for me because my blood type isn't so common, and human blood would kill me. Yaaay.

I wonder if I would have fared any better had my mom taken me with her. Physically, oh yeah, I'd be much better off. I don't think I would have emotionally, but I'd be better at controlling myself. I was bullied as a child, sometimes horribly, usually emotionally but sometimes physically, and due to my physical appearance and how I was always expected to "remain proper and stoic" even by the adults even though I was never fucking taught how. Ugh...It's very frustrating to remember these things. It infuriates me. I'm glad I was taken out of school where I'd be around other children.

Still....My ability to be social has suffered. I don't quite know how to approach people. I didn't really have friends, even in the academy where it was a mix of adults. No one quite knew how to deal with me since I looked one way, but behaved in unpredictable ways. Even now, I don't have many social connections, even amongst my colleagues.

Still, I'm good at what I do. Being Chief of Security, engineering, science, my own education? Yeah, I excel! I was very high up in my class, top in my post graduate doctoral programs, even after....the breakdown. My father won't let me live that down. Sure I'm a commander, but he still treats me like a lower officer who is also unstable. He very rarely sends me out to do any sort of missions, where before, he sent me on plenty.

I'd applied for a transfer, listing all my reasons as to why as professionally as I could with audio and video evidence to hopefully expedite it without getting my father more involved than he has to be. I just don't care where I go. I have two Ph.D's, I'm a Commander, I have experience as a Chief of Security where I was able to show strong leadership skills, and engineering experience under my belt. My Masters thesis in engineering had become required reading at the Academy! Hell, even if I was still an ensign, anywhere would be better. I just hope they don't need to find a replacement before they can transfer me because I know my father would drag that out as long as possible if he were in charge.

End Log before I get too mad for the day.

[collecting-stories]

I'm still on the soulmate au so can you do the tattoo one with Steve :)

I love soulmate AUs honestly...nothing makes me happier.

-

Heaven Help Us - Steve Harrington

Summary: You go to the video store to rent a movie and you come away with a soulmate.

A/N: I love when soulmate AUs are all mushy but I feel like if I found my soulmate randomly I would be just like stupid over it lol. Like my brain wouldn't be able to process it at all.

Stranger Things Masterlist || Celebrate 11k with me

✰ ✰ ✰ ✰

It happened the summer you turned 18. You were in the process of cleaning out your closet (something your mom insisted you had to do before you left for college in the fall), trying on different clothes to decide what you wanted to donate when you turned toward the mirror and saw it. Right there on your left rib (because why couldn’t it be in an easily discoverable place) was the outlined tattoo of a baseball bat with nails in it.  

“Of fucking course,” you muttered, staring at it, trying desperately to commit the picture to memory. “It’s gotta be some weird shit.”  

You figured, and then hoped and prayed it wasn’t, related to one of those weirdos that played Dungeons and Dragons all weekend long. You thought about telling your friends but then you were worried where their minds would jump if you mentioned it. They had all turned 18 already and they had their tattoos, all of them fairly mundane and normal. Your mom had told you that she didn’t meet her soulmate (your dad, of course) until she was graduated from college, living in a completely different state, thousands of miles from where she grew up.  

“They might not be in Hawkins,” she had said it to you when you were still 17 and still hoping that somehow it’d be something totally mundane and normal.  

This, this would not do. 

By the time your tattoo showed up, Steve had already had his for six months. It was a a silhouette of a black cat and it sat right inside his tricep. He’d shown it to Robin and then, just in case, had shown it to Nancy. It wasn’t for her though and he knew that when it first appeared but he had found himself kind of wishing that it was.  

Just like your mom, Robin suggested that maybe his soulmate wasn’t even in Hawkins, maybe they were halfway around the world staring at a tattoo of hairspray (that comment didn’t go over well) and wondering who their soulmate was. Steve desperately wanted it to be someone he knew though, or at least someone here. He didn’t wanna go halfway around the world. He didn’t even want to leave Indiana.  

“Excuse me?” You waved your hand in Steve Harrington’s face, a last-ditch effort to catch his attention. He was just staring into space, watching the television that was mounted above one of the displays showing some cartoon.  

“What?” Steve looked over at you, slightly startled, and then ran a hand through his hair. You wanted to roll your eyes at him. Of course, Steve Harrington hadn’t changed a bit since he was in school.  

“I was asking you a question; do you guys have Heaven Help Us?” You asked, “I looked under H but I didn’t see it.”  

“Uh yeah, I think someone returned it yesterday,” He announced, stepping away from you for a moment. When he did, you couldn’t help but notice the tattoo on his arm. His sleeve had ridden up enough that you could see part of the cat and thought fondly of your own black cat, no doubt asleep on your bed.  

“I like your tattoo, by the way.” You mentioned, pointing to it.  

Steve looked down at his sleeve, lifting it the rest of the way so you could see the tattoo more clearly before pulling it down and looking at you, “It’s my uh, mark.” He felt cheesy calling it a soulmate mark but that’s exactly what it was. It was supposed to be his soulmate detector but so far it’d done nothing but bring up duds. He’d gone on plenty of dates and still he hadn’t found his soulmate.  

“Reminds me of my cat.” You explained, subconsciously itching at the mark on your ribcage. 

“Can I see your mark?” Steve asked immediately, the movie forgotten and his full attention on you as he stared at the spot you were itching. He’d heard about that before, his dad had told him how badly his leg itched when he met Steve’s mom for the first time. Supposedly it was a reaction that happened for some people but not everyone. (Steve was starting to wish that the rules for this soulmate stuff could be a lot more universal but it felt more like things were all over the place).  

 “What? Why?” You crossed your arms in front of yourself.  

“You said this looks like your cat.” 

“So what? I’m sure it looks like twelve other people’s cats too. Just cause a blue silhouette of a cat vaguely resembles my cat doesn’t mean we’re soulmates.” You replied, defensively. No way you were strapped with Steve Harrington. Sure he was cute, and funny, and you, like everyone else in middle school, had a crush on him at one point but that was then. You didn’t like like Steve Harrington. You weren’t even really friends.  

“Well twelve other people haven’t told me that it looks llike their cat and you keep scratching your side like it itches and that means something.” 

“Yeah, I have an itch.”  

“Come on,” Steve leaned further onto the counter, “one and done. Just pull up your shirt and let me see. If it isn’t than it isn’t and at least we narrowed it down and if it is...” Steve trailed off, not entirely sure what he wanted to say about it.  

“It’s probably not.” There were too many crazy things that happened in Hawkins on the daily, you couldn’t fathom that this could be one too.  

“What if it is?” Steve pressed, eyes flicking between your shirt over your ribcage to your eyes, looking eager and somewhat interested in the possibility that it could be what he thought it was, what you thought it might be.  

You sighed, unzipping your jacket and pushing it aside, “fine.” Carefully, you lifted your shirt up to just above the tattoo on your side, “this is stupid though, Steve, we’re definitely not soul mates.” 

“How do you know?” He questioned, “have you met your soulmate yet?” 

“No.” Honestly it was disheartening, knowing that somewhere in the universe another person existed who was your perfect match and you were here, in Hawkins, still doing the same shit day in and day out.  

You gripped the bottom of your shirt and slowly pulled it up. Your soulmate was probably the member of some deadly motorcycle gang. A Hell’s Angel or a Pagan and you would somehow have to get used to riding around on the back of a hog even though you panicked just driving in a regular car with the windows down. Maybe they’d be like, an axe murderer or someone with an equally terrible disposition.  

“No fucking way, no fucking way!” Steve seemed fairly animated about the whole thing and still your brain couldn’t process what that possibly meant. “That’s my bat!” 

Your reaction time was slow, processing what he was telling you. Maybe it wasn’t the most complicated of sentences but the thought of Steve Harrington owning a baseball bat with nails sticking out of it.  

“Are you also going to tell me that you abduct people on the weekends or something?” You asked skeptically as you raised an eyebrow at him.  

That seemed to bring Steve back down to earth, “it’s a uh, it’s a long story. But, but that’s...I mean. I can show you. It’s in my car.” 

“You have a baseball bat with nails in it just...in your trunk? Why? In case someone upsets you?” You asked, holding back a laugh.  

“No, but, how are you focusing on that right now? We’re soulmates.” 

“That part is gonna take a little longer to process,” you admitted, “I mean, to be fair, I came in to rent a movie...I wasn’t expecting to like, meet my soulmate,” the word sounded foreign as you said it. You’d spent weeks thinking it over and over and wondering who it could be, if they were in Hawkins or somewhere else, and now you were staring at him and you couldn’t even process the information. “Much less that it’d be Steve Harrington.” 

“I mean,” he shrugged, “I wasn’t expecting it either.” 

“I don’t even...know what to do.” You replied, “like what happens now? Do we like, do we go on a date or something.” 

“We can, but I’m not watching Heaven Help Us.” He replied, making a face at the mention of the movie.  

“It’s a good movie!” 

“Look, if we’re soulmates I’ve gotta level with you. That’s a terrible movie.”  

“If we’re soulmates there’s a plethora of things I could say about your taste Steve.” You replied, raising an eyebrow at him.  

He looked like he wanted to say something but he smiled instead, “fine, Heaven Help Us it is. But we’re watching Jaws after that.”  

[stormblessed95]

Hey Storm

I was wondering if you can help me out with some claims I'm seeing circulating from a certain tiktok video...personally I know it's all wrong except but I don't how to correct this information without having sources of the truth......I don't know if you'll see this...

Well Jesus. @/savejungkook9 on tiktok should be reported for mass spreading misinformation. And trigger warning for mentions of suicide.

Namjoon has never had a heart condition?? And the only surgery he had was a septum deviation surgery on his nose. It went smoothly and his life was never at risk?! And the band + bang pd played a prank on him in the early years where he got "scolded" as BTS's leader and was asked for his last chance if he would like to go solo because he could make it solo or stay with BTS. And he choose BTS. You can watch that video here, its from 2014 from Mnet

Jin stopped Suga from committing suicide.... in their fictional universe during HYYH BU.... Nothing to do with real-life, just their fake CHARACTERS. Good lord. My post over hyyh bu here for anyone who wants to read more about it.

Yoongi did have a car accident pre-debut. He was hit by a car while he was riding his bike doing his delivery job. It's what caused such bad damage to his shoulder at the time and what he ultimately had shoulder surgery for to give him more mobility and help with his pain at the end of 2021. His parents weren't supportive of his rapping career aspirations at first, he spoke about that as well before, but they are very proud of him now. And he alluded to struggles with suicide or self harm, at least major depression, in the past during his song The Last. That's what that flatline sound many believe is what that means. He also mentioned his shoulder injury in that song too.

Jhope has never said that his dad thought he was a disappointment. He did say that his dad opposed his doing nothing but dance practice at first when he was younger but his mom supported him during his song MAMA. And he did talk during a vlive about how his dad wanted him to focus more on his studies and less on dance and that he once danced in front of his dad with no music for him to show his passion when his dad asked, but that now more than anyone he is supportive. About 57 minutes into the vlive here

Jimin had some concerning diets and issues with wanting to lose weight and the idea of needing to keep his perfect abs, but he didn't starve himself to almost dying. That's an incredible exaggeration. They ALL also did some concerning diets in those earlier years. Jimin took it a bit farther, but nothing like that. And idk what they even mean by Tae's. Changed because of Jhope getting hate? I've never heard anything like this. Of course when Hobi was going through a hard time, he was there for him and supportive and encouraging and of course Tae had grown and changed through the years, but idk what implication is being attempted here but it's an odd thing to say. Lol and for JK, "for his family?" Again, what does that even mean? Of course he left his home at a young age, he became a trainee at 13 years old and was there through his MIDDLE SCHOOL GRADUATION. That's young AF, but it wasn't FOR his family, it was to chase after his dreams of becoming a singer?? Again, what's with the weird implications here??

What an odd tiktok to make. Why is that app so full of misinformation or half information? Just to confuse people? 😭

[tbmaybank]

Okay I was wondering if you could please do a dad!rafe where the reader has to go on zoom for high school and rafe and the readers baby starts crying so rafe goes to pick up the baby but the baby keeps crying and only wants the reader but she’s busy on a zoom call and rafe finds out the baby is hungry. Also can they be teen parents and the baby is 3 months or something and you can make up the rest.

Warnings: teen pregnancy/teen parents

A/N: dad!Rafe makes my heart melt 🥺 also; I know this has been sitting in my inbox for a bit. I'm spending the next couple days working through the requests I have!

______________________________________

You had planned your entire life out by time you were 14. You knew what university you wanted to go to, what you were going to major in, and even what company you wanted to work at after. One thing you didn't plan on, was Rafe Cameron. And you definitely didn't plan on having his baby at the beginning of senior year. You were scared that being a teen mom was going to throw all the work you've put into your GPA out the window, but luckily you had the option to take your classes through Zoom this year, which has helped. Plus, Rafe was beyond helpful.

When you had first found out you were pregnant, you were terrified to tell Rafe. Thought he would freak out and want nothing to do with you or the little one. He surprised you though, being actually excited about it. Sure, he was scared at the thought of being a dad, but he tried his best to never let that fear show.

Your little girl, Olivia, is 3 months old now. Currently, she was asleep in her room while you were in the middle of your zoom class. You had the baby monitor set up next to your laptop, since Rafe was busy with work stuff, having graduated a year before you. A little over halfway into your class though, you notice Olive starting to wake up on the video monitor. You watch her for a second, seeing if she falls back asleep, but the crying you start hearing assures you she's up. Sighing, you move to unmute your mic to excuse yourself from the rest of class, but before you do you see Rafe enter on the monitor.

"Shhh baby." You hear him say as he lifts her from the crib. You start trying to focus on your class again, but also watching them on the monitor. You watch as he paces the room bouncing her, trying various things to make her happy, to no avail. "Baby girl, I know you want momma, but she's busy, so you gotta deal with daddy for a little bit, okay?"

You try not to giggle at him trying to reason with a 3 month old, but you do find it adorable that he tries too.

"Liv, sweetheart.. you're making me feel a bit rejected here." He says, still bouncing her. He turns and looks at the camera, and gives it a look like he knows you're watching. "Babe, if you're listening, I think she's hungry, and I lack the ability to lactate."

You turn your attention back to your teacher talking, and see that she's wrapping up the class. Holding your phone where the camera on your laptop won't show it, you send a quick message to Rafe.

Me: 5 minutes. I'm sorry :(

You try to listen as your teacher tells you and your class the assignment for tonight, but you know you're going to have to get a recap of the whole second half of this class from your friend.

"5 minutes baby, it'll be okay. You can handle boring ol dad for 5 minutes, right?"

You continue trying to watch your teacher and Rafe at the same time for the next few minutes. Once the class is finally finished, you log off, and rush to Olivia's room.

"Oh thank God, she hates me, y/n." Rafe says as soon as he sees you enter the room.

"She doesn't hate you, Rafe." You say as you take Olivia from him. You take her and sit on the rocking chair in the room, and begin feeding her. "You just can't do this," gesturing to her nursing. "Trust me, when she gets a little older, she's gonna be a total daddy's girl."

"Yeah? You think so?"

"I know so. Thank you for trying today, I know you were probably busy."

"Not really. Your education is more important."

You look down at your daughter who is drifting back to sleep, then smile back up at Rafe. "I love you."

He leans down and kisses you, then kisses the top of Olivia's head. "I love you both, more than anything."

[watchmegetobsessed]

Waiting for you - Harry Styles

❄️ FANFICmas 2020 ❄️

Read more about FANFICmas here!

i wrote it over like a month ago, but kept it for today, i hope yall will like it! it’s a cute bestfriends to lovers fic, so yeah... happy holidays, hope you are having an amazing time!

word count: 13k

masterlist

Harry Styles has been a household name around your home, but not for the reason many would think. While for the rest of the world he was the famous singer, former member of One Direction and recent solo artist, the guy who performs at the biggest arenas, wins awards and sings his heart out through the radio, for you and your mom he was the goofy, curly haired boy who lived across the street with his mum, sister and stepdad.

You still remember all too clear the first time you met him. You and your mum just moved into your new home after the nasty divorce of your parents, ready to start a new life. You’ve barely turned twelve, it was quite the awkward stage of your teenage years, you were still trying to find yourself on the rocky road of growing up. Moving to a whole new town and switching schools were terrifying and you had quite a few nightmares about possible outcomes of being the new girl in the neighborhood.

You and your mum just finished unpacking the dishes in the kitchen when the doorbell rang. She rushed to answer it and you wandered behind her, curiously peeking at the guests under her arm as she held the door open.

“Hi! We saw the trucks and thought we would say hi! I’m Anne and this is my son, Harry,” the nice woman greeted your mum and stepping aside she gestured towards the teenage boy standing next to her.

His green eyes fell to you almost immediately and you forgot to breathe for a moment. You were not the kind to crush that easily on guys, well, not until you laid your eyes on Harry. He smirked at you, nodding in your way in such an easy-going manner and you could feel the heat crawling up your neck to your cheeks and ears.

Anne and your mum quickly became good friends. She was the rock your mum definitely needed after such a bad year behind her and you were glad she found support in such a wonderful woman as Anne. Their newly funded friendship got stronger day by day until the two families just… simply felt one.

Growing up the Styles siblings and Anne came and go in your home as if they lived there too. On many occasions you came home from school only to find Anne in the kitchen while your mother wasn’t even home. Anne always knew when your mum was working the night shift at the hospital where she was a nurse and always made sure you had a warm dinner on those evenings, often inviting you over to just stay at theirs while your mum was away working. Birthdays, graduations, Easters and Christmases, they were all spent at either yours or at the Styles home, strengthening the bond between the two families.

You have always had a strong friendship with Gemma, but maybe because you were closer in age or for something else, but you became the closest with Harry. Two peas in a pod, as your mums liked to call the two of you. You weren’t just neighbors or good friends, it was clear to anyone and to both of you as well that you were the best of friends. You were there for each other at the best and worst of times, before and after Harry’s launch to stardom. You were there with him all along, sometimes physically, sometimes just through text messages and reassuring calls when he just needed a piece of his home away from home. Late night calls and talks were your usual when he was on the road and he made sure to only talk about his life after you’ve told him everything about yours, even if the most interesting thing was that you were able to buy three socks for the price of two. Harry listened and cared for everything that happened to you, not letting you think even for a moment that he would forget about his best friend when he is on the other side of the planet.

The two of you grew up together and while his life consisted of concerts, screaming fans, telly appearances and award shows, your mundane everydays went on the same was as any normal young girl’s: you graduated from high school, went to uni and then started a career for yourself. As time was moving it became a little more and more complicated to stay as close as you used to, though, both of you terribly busy with your own personal lives, so the calls, texts and meetings became less frequent, but you were always able to pick up from where you left, it was as easy with him as it could be.

Maybe that’s why you grew to love him in a more than friendly way through the years. Slowly, but surely you started to realize what an amazing man he really was –is. It was impossible not to fall for him, however you valued your close friendship more than to just ruin it with dropping a bomb on Harry. You always thought he doesn’t feel the same way, so you were sadly left with your daydreams and fantasies about him only your bedroom walls heard.

This year it’s gonna be the tenth Christmas you get to celebrate together, quite the anniversary. There were only two years when you didn’t see each other during the holidays, the first one because you and your mum spent it in Canada with some relatives that live there, and the second one was because Harry couldn’t come home a few years ago, having a too tight schedule. But this year, everyone made sure to make it back home in time. Harry called you three month before Christmas to check in if you are still gonna coming home.

“Would be an idiot not to. Can’t wait to stuff my head with cookies!” you chuckled.

“Have you found your sweater yet?” Harry questioned, the muffled noise of the traffic around him broke through the line as he was on his way home when he called.

“Not yet. But I’ve been looking. I’m pretty sure I’m gonna win this year,” you smirked in victory.

“Oh, not so fast with the assumptions, little girl!” he warned you making you laugh.

The two of you had a kind of tradition. Every year, you go on mission to find the ugliest Christmas sweaters one could find, and then perform a chosen song at the karaoke machine after dinner, entertaining the rest of the family. Those performances are the best memories you nurse. Your absolute favorite one was just a couple of years ago when Harry’s sweater was filled with weird looking reindeers in quite inappropriate poses, he even added a glittery pair of sunnies and he sang I Want To Break Free from the Queen. Everyone was on the floor laughing as he took the living room by storm as if it was the Maddison Square Garden filled with thousands of screaming fans, while it was just the five of you.

He won that year, Hell, even you voted on him, giving him the cleanest win of all times, but you swore to live up to that performance and you really feel like this year is gonna be your chance to live up to that promise. You have quite some tricks up your sleeves.

These past couple of years you were anxiously waiting for the holidays to roll around, because you knew you would get to spend so much time with Harry and through the year, even with several occasions of the two of you meeting, you missed him dearly. Sometimes you selfishly wished he would have just stayed the boy across the street so your lives could take tracks that run at least close to each other, but you always reminded yourself that his work was his life and you would have never taken away his true passion and happiness. Besides, you love watching him perform from time to time, that was just one of your favorite sides of him, see his eyes shine so bright as he sang to his fans. You used to envy the fangirls, it always seemed like he had a special connection with them, but you realized that you were one of them. You felt the same excitement when he stepped on the stage, you bought all his albums, even though he made sure you’d be one of the first people to get your hands on it. You had a second copy of them, because buying it gave you the extra jolt of happiness and the feeling that you were a tiny part of his success too. You watched all his music videos, knew the lyrics to his songs and cheered on him whenever he won another award. Difference was that at the end of the day you could call him and tell him how proud you were of him and he stared back at you with that beautiful grin, his dimples digging deep in his cheeks, telling you that he wouldn’t be here without you. You always knew he just said it to make you feel special, but he insisted it was the truth.

“I’m telling you. It you weren’t with me I would have gone crazy already, pulling a Justin Bieber or summat. Don’t think you are any less than what you are, that’s just daft.”

Every time he said something along those lines those damned butterflies in your stomach went crazy and you tried your best to ignore them. You didn’t always succeed, but the effort was there.

 Now it’s two days before Christmas and you are already standing in your old room after coming home from London, leaving your small but cozy little apartment empty until the next year. The walls are still the same lilac color you chose when you were fourteen, a twin bed is pushed against the wall under your window, the wardrobe’s door is littered with old pictures from high school and ones you cut out from magazines. You just never got around to take them down and after a while it brought you a comforting sense every time you came home. A warm nostalgia took over you when you saw them, so they eventually stayed.

Your suitcase is lying on the floor as you unpack some stuff you’ll be using often during your stay, but you don’t get far in the packing when you hear an all too familiar voice coming from downstairs. Leaving your stuff as it is you rush down and throw your arms around Anne from behind, who is standing in the kitchen with your mum.

“My sweet angel! How are you?!” she cheers turning around in your hold to hug you back, giving you a tight squeeze before she pushes you away so she can have a good look on you. “Swear you get prettier every time I see you!”

“Stop it, my head’s gonna get big,” you chuckle feeling yourself blushing a little.

“Never gonna stop praising my daughter,” she smiles and gifts you with a cheeky wink.

Anne was never shy to let you know that she thought of you as a second daughter and you still remember how it felt when she called you that for the first time. It felt nice to know that you could count on her no matter what.

The three of you chat in the kitchen, Anne asks you about your job and how things have been going, she hasn’t seen you in a while. You missed the times when you could just go across the street and have a talk with her whenever you wanted, but since you’ve moved to London, Harry wasn’t the only one you didn’t get to see as often as you would have wanted. Your job and life overall got you so busy sometimes, you barely had time to call your own mum.

“Harry is arriving this evening. Wanna come with us to fetch him up at the airport?” she asks you and of course you say yes. You wouldn’t miss the chance to greet him with a bone crushing hug just after he lands.

However, as the time nears when you’d have to leave to the airport, Anne calls you up and asks if you could go on your own.

“I didn’t finish cooking and Gems is in an online meeting. Would you mind if you went alone?” she asks and though it sounds a little made up, you don’t question her.

On your way to the airport you are nervously drumming on the wheel, the thought of seeing Harry excites and worries you a little. It’s been months since you last seen him in the flesh and though you’ve talked plenty of times on the phone and in video calls, it’s just not the same. You find yourself wondering if he still smells the same, if you’ll fit the same way into his embrace as before. When you were younger you often liked to think about the two of you as two pieces of legos when you hugged. Your frame just fitted so perfectly against his body, he was your absolutely favorite person to hug.

Standing in a corner at the terminal, you keep checking the board until his flight’s status changes to landed. Then your eyes are glued to the sliding glass doors, knowing well it’s gonna take him some time to get his bags and walk out, but you are just way too excited to finally see him again.

People start walking through the doors and your head perks up every time you see a slightly tall frame, only to realize it’s still not him. Until it is.

You can’t bite your growing smile back when you spot him, a beanie and the hood of his hoodie covering his mop of hair, sunnies hiding his eyes, but you’d recognize him even from just the tiniest detail. You push yourself away from the wall as you see him look around, probably searching for his mum and sister, because he was already on his way when Anne decided it’s gonna be you who fetches him up, so he doesn’t know about the change.

“Excuse me, can I get a picture?” you ask teasingly walking up to him and for a moment you can tell he believes it’s a fan who recognized him, but his face quickly changes once his eyes land on you.

“Fo’ fuck’s sake, you had me for a second,” he breathes out, his arms already reaching out to pull you against him and you gladly envelop yourself into his hold. “What are you doing here?” he mumbles tightening his arms around you, and you don’t mind it. As you face is pressed into his shoulder you smile when you realize that he still smells the same. Like home.

“Your mum asked me to come and get you because she didn’t finish cooking. But if you ask me she just wanted to surprise you with me. You happy to see me?” you smirk up at him letting your head fall back so you could look into his eyes.

“Always,” he grins before placing a soft kiss to your temple and letting go of you.

The two of you leave the terminal before anyone could recognize him and packing his stuff up into the car you head back home.

You hand your phone over to him once you hit the road so he can be in charge of the music and it’s no surprise when he starts playing Christmas music straight away. Grinning to yourself you glance over at him and see him scrolling through your camera roll like the nosy little gremlin that he is.

“Hey! I did not give you permission to snoop around my phone!” you warn him, but don’t try to snatch it away from him, there’s really nothing he shouldn’t see, besides, half of those pics have been sent to him through messages.

“Just tryna catch up w’ you,” he mumbles under his breath, continuously opening up photos he is interested in. “New couch, eh?” he asks showing you the screen for a second.

“Yeah, bought it a few weeks ago. You like it?”

“Looks comfy. I should try it out sometime.”

“You never sleep on my couch, what are you talking about?”

“Right, you always drag me t’ your bed,” he snorts and you gasp at him, smacking his chest gently.

“That’s so not true! You always just arbitrarily make yourself comfortable in my bed and I don’t have the heart to kick you out,” you correct him.

There hasn’t been many times when Harry crashed at your place, but when he did, he always slept in your bed with you, and the two of you have shared a bed a few other times prior too. It’s nothing new, though it does have a deeper meaning for you than for him, you think. Waking up with Harry snoring lightly next to you, admiring how peaceful and beautiful he is in this intimate state, you just wish you could see him like this all the time.

Harry smirks at you cheekily, scrunching his nose as he chuckles.

“’Cause I wouldn’t want to sleep anywhere else, Love,” he says before turning his attention back to your phone while you try to ignore the butterflies in your stomach at the nickname.

It’s quite late by the time you get home, you’ve run into some traffic, but it just meant more time with Harry. You gladly listened to his stories and you are happy you got some alone time with him. Parking up to your driveway you help him unload his bags before locking the car.

“Wanna go to the Christmas market in the morning? Promised Gemma I’d go with her and Michal,” he asks, slowly walking down the driveway towards his home.

“Uh, sure,” you nod smiling. Not that you had any other plans, the holidays are reserved for family and the Styles’ are family.

“Great, I’ll be here at ten. And thanks for the ride,” he smirks waving goodbye and you watch him cross the street before he disappears in his home and you do the same.

“Y/N? Is that you?” your mum calls out when you walk in.

“Were you expecting anyone else?” you ask, hanging your coat before you join her in the living room.

“Not,” she smiles giddily. “Was everything alright at the airport?”

You throw your legs over her lap and she squeezes your ankles playfully.

“Yeah, everything fine.”

“How is Harry?”

“Cheeky and smug, as always,” you huff smirking.

“Can’t wait to see him. I feel like I haven’t seen ‘im in ages.”

“When are they coming over tomorrow?”

“Anne said she’ll come around four to help me cook, the rest I don’t know. Dinner will be done around seven though.”

“I’m pretty sure Gemma and Harry will be here along with Anne,” you snort, knowing well they wouldn’t miss a chance to come over, especially Harry. He has been talking nonstop how he’ll be glued to your hip once he is back home, making up for all the time you’ve spent apart.

“They surely will,” your mum chuckles before you both turn your attention at the telly.

You go to bed way after midnight and finish up the packing you left abruptly when you left to get Harry. Shuffling around in your room you glance out the window and see that the light in Harry’s room is on too. Peeking out you lean against the window’s frame, thinking about the times when the two of you sat in the window, talking on the phone after curfew, keeping your voice down so your parents didn’t wake up, sharing secrets and your silliest thoughts. With Harry, you never felt like you had to keep anything back, he would have never judged you for anything, you could be your true self around him and vice versa.

A tall figure appears at the window and as Harry glances out his window he is quick to see you sitting on the window sill, your head resting against the frame. The two houses are not far away from each other and you see him grinning as he sits at the window as well, pulling out his phone, a moment later yours starts buzzing on the nightstand. You quickly grab it, and go back to the window.

“Creeping on me, eh?” he hums into the phone and you roll your eyes at him.

“Was just admiring the street lights, don’t flatter yourself, your head is getting too big,” you huff, but you can’t push your smirk down.

“Admit it, you were hoping to see me roam around naked, weren’t you?”

“As if I haven’t seen you like that before,” you snort making him laugh too. It’s true, Harry has never been shy to get rid of his clothes and he also doesn’t bother to draw the blinds whenever he is changing. You once saw him butt naked when he was nineteen, and when you told him to close the blinds next time he is changing, he just shrugged with a smug smile.

“’M not ashamed of anything, Love,” he told you and you had to turn away because you were blushing for sure.

“Right, you’re a fan of putting yourself on full display when you’re naked, almost forgot,” you chuckle shaking your head. “Millions of girls have the picture of you, lying naked on their walls.”

“You one of them?” he cheekily asks.

“Nah, doesn’t go well with the vibe of my apartment.”

“Shame. Though I think it would definitely look amazin’ above your bed, Love.”

“Now would it? I don’t know about that.”

“I’ll get you a copy framed,” he smirks and you can see it clear even from the distance. “Y’ know what? I’ll make you an exclusive one. One that nobody else has, how does that sound?”

“I can’t believe you, Styles,” you chuckle shaking your head. “I’m not gonna answer this, just gonna head to bed. You should too.”

“So we’re not sharing any secrets like we used to? Thought you’d have something fo’ me.”

“You know everything, Harry,” you sigh with a soft smile, though your heart skips a beat. He does know everything, except one big, fat, heavy secret you’ve been carrying around for way too long, that will probably stay with you forever.

“Right. Okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” “Night, Harry.”

“Good night, Love,” he murmurs and you know he is smiling, thought he steps away from the window as he says goodbye and you do the same before ending the call.

 ***

 “Hey! That’s mine!” you protest as Harry steals another roasted chestnut from your little paper bag, but you can’t stay mad at him when he is smiling at you so sweetly.

“Sorry, tastes better when it’s someone else’s.”

“Sure,” you snort and just let him get as many as he wants. You wouldn’t have eaten it all anyway.

It’s quite cold out in the town, but at least there’s no rain or storm, so the weather didn’t try to ruin your little trip to the Christmas market.

Gemma calls out for Harry to show him something and you just keep wandering between the booths, enjoying the atmosphere quite a lot, you have no idea when was the last time you got to come to the market, though you always loved coming when you were younger.

Finishing up your chestnuts you throw the paper bag into a trash can and turn around to find the rest of your little group, spotting Harry and Gemma deep in discussion next to a booth that offers handmade ceramic mugs. As you walk closer it almost seems like as if they were having a fight, which is just odd, they rarely do that.

“Just get your head out of your arse!” you catch Gemma telling her brother who only groans in frustration before he spots you, a smile plastering across his face.

“Hey, there you are!” he beams.

“Everything alright?” you ask looking at them.

“Sure, just Gemma is being a little nosy, is all,” Harry waves in dismiss. You glance over to Gems, but she is already back in discussion with Michal so you decide to drop it. “You ate all the chestnuts?” Harry asks offended, throwing an arm around your shoulders.

“Well, it was mine, so of course I ate them!”

“Selfish,” he narrows his eyes at you, but you both know it’s just a joke.

You walk further down in the aisle, occasionally stopping at some of the booth when you spot a place that offers hot chocolate in cute little mugs that you can take home with you if you’d like, or just take it back and get your money back.

“Oh look!” you gasp excitedly and head towards the hot chocolate booth. The old lady smiles brightly at the two of you as you take a look at all the choices. “Oh my god, they have caramel flavored!” you cheer, basically already drooling at the thought of a good, caramel flavored hot chocolate.

“What can I get for the lovely couple?” the lady smiles warmly at the two of you and you freeze at her assumption.

“Oh we—“ you start, but Harry cuts you off.

“A caramel flavored and a plain one, please,” he orders, without even batting an eye about how the lady just called you a couple. You can feel your cheeks heating up at the thought, but you try to calm yourself. He probably just didn’t want to get into explaining that you two are not an item and let her think what she wanted.

The nice lady hands you your mug and you take Harry’s as well as he pays for both of them. You would try to argue with him and pay yours, but you are already used to how stubborn he is and he never lets you split anything, it’s always on him.

“Thank you, have a nice day!” Harry calls out to the lady before the two of you leave. You peek at him handing him his mug, looking for any clue that would give away if this little scene got him just as bothered as it did you, but he looks perfectly fine and relaxed, so you decide not to bring it up. You’re sure he didn’t think much of it.

Your little stroll stretches into the afternoon, the four of you decide to have lunch out there too, then you just opt for a walk in town as Gemma wants to do a quick last minute Christmas shopping, so by the time you get home Anne is already over at yours helping your mum with dinner. Tonight you are all eating at yours, then tomorrow it’s the Styles’ turn to host, this is how you agreed this year.

“Woah, it smells amazing!” you call out walking into the house. The delicious smells fill up the whole place and you hear the two women giggling in the kitchen.

“Hi Honey, how was the market?” your mum greets you, a glass of red wine in her hand and the same goes for Anne.

“Great, we have a new mug,” you say holding up the emptied out hot chocolate mug. Stepping to the sink you wash it quickly and drying off you put it away in one of the cabinets.

You stick around in the kitchen and not so much later Harry comes over, the two of you leave your mums alone and get comfortable in front of the telly.

All channels are filled with holiday movies and you don’t mind, really, you like them all even if you’ve seen them a million times, you still find them funny and cute. Harry feels the same way, so when you settle on Love Actually he doesn’t say a word.

What startles you is that he grabs your ankles and pulls your legs over his lap, a small shriek escaping your mouth since you weren’t expecting him to do that. You’re sitting sideways, your legs are bent at the knee and Harry is kind of hugging them as his eyes are glued to the screen.

You find it rather hard to focus on the movie when Harry’s fingers keep fidgeting on your legs, they keep running up and down, sometimes he lays his hands flat on your knees, there’s no spot he hasn’t touched since you started watching the movie.

About an hour into the film he turns to you and you look at him in question.

“’M in the mood to cuddle,” he announces and starts moving around, not even letting you protest as he basically crawls to your lap, resting his head on your stomach as the two of you lay on the couch.

“Am I now your personal pillow?” you ask chuckling, but you wouldn’t want him to move for anything. Feeling him weigh down on you just feels so warm and simple but amazing.

“The best one,” he mumbles, bringing a hand to your side as you let your fingers comb through his curls.

You keep massaging his scalp and he lets out soft moans when you go over a soft spot, you can’t help but chuckle as he melts under your hands. His fingers start drawing circles on your side and the movie is long forgotten by you, all you can focus on is how great it is to have Harry so close to you. He is known to be a physical person, you are used to hugs and touches, but it seems like he is a little needier now than the usual.

You don’t mind it though, you just try to enjoy the moment, because it can end anytime.

Gemma and Michal come over a little before seven, and while your mums finish up the cooking the four of you set the table. You grab the crystal glasses and start placing them to the table, Harry lending you a hand. Once the table is all set you shuffle into the kitchen to see if there’s anything you can help with, Harry following you behind, placing a hand to the small of your back.

As you stand and wait for you mum to finish up the meals so you can help carry them to the table you feel Harry’s hand wander over to your hip, giving it a squeeze as he stands closer, so his chest is pressed against your back.

“Harry?” you ask a little out of breath.

“Hm?” he innocently hums.

“What’s with you today?” Turning your head to the side your eyes lock with his, but he just shrugs smiling.

“Guess I just missed yeh a lot.”

“You’re weird,” you chuckle shaking your head, but don’t make an effort to push him away. His touch feels way too good to put an end to it and you just want to be selfish a little longer.

His hands leave you when the two of you help to bring the food to the table, and you almost wish they would just return, but you gotta swallow the thought.

The food is amazing, as always. You all sip on some wine, just having a genuinely good time, enjoying that all of you are back at one place, something that rarely happens now that all three of you kids are all grown up.

At one point Harry rests his arm on the back of your chair, no one seems to notice but you. All these little things have been driving you crazy all day and your mind seems to be playing a nasty game with you. There’s no way Harry thinks of these details more than what they are, a friendly gesture towards an old friend of his.

When Gemma is telling a story about some weird guy she met at work Harry reaches up and pushes your hair behind your ear, his finger lingering over your neck a little longer than you would have expected. Turning to face him you give him a questioning look, not sure what to think about his needy and touchy self all of a sudden.

“What?” you mouth him, but he just smiles at you absentmindedly, curling a strand of hair around his finger, playing with it for a moment before letting go of it and going for another lock. You reach up and pull his hand away, feeling yourself heating up from his touch, but when you are about to let go of his hand he grabs yours, lacing your fingers together with yours as he rests them on his thigh.

“Harry…” you breathe out, glancing at the others, relieved to see that they are not paying much attention to the two of you.

“What? Am I not allowed to touch you?” he asks with a smug smirk and you roll your eyes at him.

“As I said, you’re weird,” you mumble under your breath looking down at your now empty plate. Harry gives your hand a squeeze.

“But like, the good kind of weird, yeah?”

“Shut up,” you chuckle shaking your head at him.

You try to tell yourself he is just needy because it’s been so long since you last saw each other. It can’t be more, you push even the smallest thought to the back of your mind, though it surely lingers there throughout the evening.

He helps you with washing the dishes, you stand arm to arm at the sink as you scrub the plates and hand over to him for drying. He gently hums to himself all along, swaying his hips, bumping against yours. At first you resist it, but then you catch the rhythm and start moving along, so your hips meet in the middle before swinging to the opposite side.

“What’s the song?” you ask finishing up the last plate.

“Just something random,” he shrugs smirking over at you. You hand him the last plate, he is still singing, making up gibberish lyrics to his song and once he puts the plate down he throws the kitchen cloth to the counter and easily grabs your waist pulling you against him as he starts swaying with you to his impromptu song. You let out a small shriek at the sudden movement, but eventually melt into his hold. The humming slowly turns into an all too familiar melody as Harry starts singing Sweet Creature into your ear, slow dancing in the kitchen while you hear your mums and Gemma laugh outside somewhere.

Your hands run up his arms and stop behind his neck as you lock your fingers and let him hold you close, his palms are pressed to your waist, fingers gently stroking you through the fabric of your shirt. You take a deep breath and his cologne fills your nose, one of your favorite scents, sometimes you just wish you could spray it on your pillow so it would always smell like him.

“Sweet creature, wherever I go, you bring me home…” he softly sings, leaning back just enough for your eyes to meet. It feels like your heart is about to burst out of your chest, it’s not the first time you feel so intimidated by him, like you could pass out any moment, but this is a little different. As if his eyes were telling you another story, but you can’t completely make up the words.

“Sweet creature, when I run out of road, you bring me home, you’ll bring me home.” He finishes the song, hums the closing melody and you watch him in complete awe. Your lips part when you catch his gaze move down to them and you swear you see him leaning closer, as if he is about to kiss you. Your breath gets caught in your throat, he is so close, just a few more inches and you’d taste those perfect lips of his, the ones you’ve been dreaming about for way too long.

It almost happens, it seems, but just when that last push is about to set in Gemma waltz into the kitchen and you step back faster than light, pushing him away even though the sudden lack of his touch is more painful than you were expecting.

“You guys—Oh, what’s up?” she asks stopping at the door and you feel yourself getting redder with each passing moment, the heat crawling up your neck, ears cheeks, right to the top of your head. What were you thinking? You let yourself believe Harry would ever kiss you, this whole scene was nothing more than just a friendly moment the two of you were sharing.

“I’m—sorry,” you breathe out making your way out of the kitchen, right up to your room to have some well needed space.

“Way to ruin everything,” Harry snickers at his sister.

“You joking? You wanted to kiss her in her mum’s kitchen?” Gemma snaps at him in disbelief.

“We were having a moment,” he mumbles rubbing his face with his hands. “Up until you stomped in with your big mouth.”

“Well, if you were havin’ a moment, just make it happen again.”

“As if it’s that easy, Gemma!” he scoffs throwing his hands in the air.

“Man up and tell her how you feel, don’t have to complicate it too much,” she shrugs before walking out and leaving her brother alone. Harry growls in frustration, the gears in his head turning wildly as he is trying to figure out how to come clear to you about his feelings.

 Meanwhile, up in your room you get out your laptop and busy yourself with checking up on messages and emails you’ve been ignoring, hoping that the uneasy feeling in your chest will ease very soon. Your hands were shaking when you locked yourself up in your room, but as you get focused on other tasks you slowly gain your balance back.

You kind of even forget that the Styles’ were over, you only realize that you abruptly pulled yourself out of the evening when there’s a soft knock on your door.

“Come on in!” you call out and a moment later Harry’s head pops in, eyes softly falling on your sitting figure on the bed. “Hey,” you smile at him faintly.

“Hey. Thought you were sleepin’s or summat.” Coming inside he closes the door behind him then sits on your plush rug in the middle of the room.

“Just… sorted some work related things out,” you sigh.

“Working during the holidays? Tha’s not healthy.”

“I know, I’m done,” you smile shutting the laptop down and putting it aside. “Sorry I disappeared, I just—“

“No worries,” Harry shakes his head. “Mum and Gems went home, they thought you were sleeping too, tha’s why they didn’t say goodbye.”

“Oh, alright.”

“But I thought we could have a sleepover,” he peeks at you with a boyish smile.

“What, like we did in middle school?” you chuckle.

“Yea, thought it would be fun.”

“Well, I don’t think my bed would fit us comfortably and we don’t have the mattress anymore that you used to sleep on,” you tell him looking around.

“Nonsense, I’m not tha’ big,” he insists hopping to his feet and throwing himself on the bed, ignoring that you’re already there. His body takes up more than half on the bed , limbs wrapping around you as he brings you down to the mattress next to him, you can’t help the laugh that leaves your lips.

“You’re like a gigantic baby, Harry!” you laugh as he keeps you down on the bed with his arm.

“It’s perfectly fine for two people,” he mumbles with a smirk, closing his eyes as his head sinks into your pillow.

“Do you ever get no as an answer?” you ask looking at him in awe. You can never get used to seeing him so up close, like not many get to.

“No,” he huffs in satisfaction, his arm bringing you closer to him and you just giggle at him.

“I’m not sleeping just yet, gotta have a shower first.”

“Do what you want, I’ll be here,” he mumbles but you snort at him.

“You’re not sleeping in my bed without having a shower,” you tell him before you grab your pajamas and head to the bathroom.

You have a quick shower and get done with all your evening business. Returning to your room you find Harry sitting on the floor, his back against the side of the bed as he is scrolling through his phone.

“Does mum know you’re staying over?” you ask him as you throw your used clothes into the hamper, moving around the room while feeling his eyes on you.

“Yeah. ‘S all good.”

“You need a towel?”

“Yes please,” he says pushing himself up from the floor.

“Clothes?” you ask with an arched brow. He just grins at you and it’s enough of an answer. “Here,” you give him the shirt and sweats he has left at yours quite some time ago, along with a clean towel.

“Thanks,” he smirks before leaving to occupy the bathroom.

He doesn’t take long in there, you’re lying in bed already when he returns, smelling like your shower gel, strawberry and melon.

He throws his clothes to the chair in the corner and then lies beside you on the bed. You scoot over to the wall to give him space, but he is quick to bring you closer to him once he has made himself comfortable. You lay your head on his shoulder as you are both scrolling through your phones.

When you had enough, you throw yours to the nightstand, and stay cuddled up to his side.

“Do you remember the last time I slept here?” he asks tossing his phone to the nightstand and bringing his arms around you.

“Mm, was it at my twentieth birthday?”

“Yeah. You were so wasted,” he chuckles and you smirk to yourself

“But you took good care of me.”

“I did. You were so cute, rambling about how much you love me when I took you home from the pub.”

You bite into your bottom lip. You still remember that night vividly. Your birthday party had gone a little wild and you had gotten drunker than you intended to. Luckily, he was there to bring your home and he stayed in the bathroom with you as you threw up everything you ate and drank that evening. Then he made you take a shower, got you fresh clothes out and helped you get into bed. He slept next to you that night, holding you in his arms, gently caressing your back and upper arm as you fell into your drunken slumber. In the morning you told yourself he just did what any other friend would do, helping you out when you were clearly knocked out, but he made you breakfast in the morning since your mum was working all night and morning and he stayed over later the afternoon to make sure you were alright.

What you told him in your drunken state about loving him, it wasn’t just your friendly side, it was your drunken self coming clear to him, telling him that you are in love with him, but he didn’t take it seriously and you were too ashamed and awkward to even bring it up to him after that, so it was all forgotten very soon.

Following that you planned on telling him how you feel, several times. You even wrote a little speech you planned to give him when the time comes, but you couldn’t do it. The fear of losing him if he doesn’t feel the same was stronger than you expected and every time you had the chance to come clear, you chickened out. The thought of losing him as a friend is way worse than having to push your feelings down... forever. You just can’t imagine your life without Harry in it and you can’t risk losing him.

The two of you talk for quite a while, laughing about the good old times, until you both fall asleep. Sometime in the middle of the night you wake up and feel Harry wrapped around you, his head lying on your chest as he is snoring softly. He truly is like a big baby, an arm thrown over your stomach, his legs tangled with yours. Good Lord, how amazing it feels to have him so close to you!

Reaching up you tangle your fingers through his hair gently so he doesn’t wake up, his soft curls glide between your fingers easily and lifting your head you kiss the top of his head before letting yourself drift back to sleep.

When you open your eyes the next time the situation is the opposite, you are the one cuddled up to Harry’s side who is scrolling through his phone with one hand, keeping the other one on your arm.

“Mornin’, sleepy head,” he chuckles softly when he sees you awake.

“Mmm, what time is it?” you ask letting your head rest on his chest a little longer.

“Quarter to nine. You can sleep a little more if you want, it’s not that late.”

“No, I promised mum I’d help her wrap gifts,” you sigh rolling over to your stomach as you push yourself up to your elbows to look at him. “Love the double chin you got going there,” you tease him sleepily and he just smirks.

“Yea? Quite cute, right? Worked a lot on it,” he jokes running his finger over it before letting out a chuckle. “Ready for our battle today?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be. You are going down this year, Styles,” you tell him pushing yourself up into a sitting position. Harry only pushes himself further on the bed enough to rest his head against the headboard.

“Oh really? I wouldn’t be that sure about tha’,” he warns you, but you are feeling pretty confident about your performance this year. There’s no way he can top it.

“We’ll see. Alright, I need a coffee. Want something for breakfast?” you ask him crawling out of the bed.

“Yeah, that would be nice.”

Your mum is already in the kitchen, sipping on her morning coffee while reading the paper. She doesn’t find it even a bit weird that Harry spent the night at yours, it’s been quite the usual for you. Harry helps you make eggs and bacon and the three of you eat together, having a lovely time and you genuinely feel like it’s just like in the good old times when you were still living home and Harry wasn’t Harry Styles, but the boy from across the street.

He goes home after breakfast to help his own mum with the cooking for tonight’s dinner and you don’t do much for the rest of the day, just spend time with your mum, watch movies and relax. It’s nice to unwind after such a busy year behind you.

Not long before five you go to take a shower and get ready to head over to the Styles’ and you pack everything you’ll need for the evening: gifts, ugly sweater, accessories. Harry is going down this year for sure.

It’s a little past six when you and your mum walk across the street, Anne’s Christmas lights are putting the little town house into the spirit for sure. You don’t even ring the bell, just walk straight in, like you always do. The Christmas tree stands tall in their living room and the table is already nicely set. Gemma and Michal are snuggled up on the couch while Harry is helping Anne in the kitchen with the finishing touches.

“I’m rooting for you this year,” Gemma winks at you when you set down your bag in the corner that has everything you’ll need for your performance.

“He’s gonna lose this round,” you smirk proudly, very sure in yourself.

Harry greets you with a bright smile and a tight hug when he walks into the living room, as if you didn’t just see each other a few hours earlier.

When the food is ready you all sit down to eat, and though you’re trying your best to focus on the conversation, you’re getting excited about tonight’s karaoke battle.

“Anxious much?” Harry asks you quietly.

“Why are you asking?”

He doesn’t answer, just places a hand to your thigh stopping it from shaking, making you realize you’ve been probably bouncing it all along. He smirks at you as you just roll your eyes at him.

“’S okay, you can handle one more year of losing,” he teases you and you give him an arched eyebrow.

“Don’t be so full of yourself, Harry,” you warn him, but he just squeezes your thigh again before bringing his hands back up to the table, leaving you a little breathless with his touch.

You all help clean up the table after dinner and when it’s done, you gather in the living room to open gifts.

When Harry’s career launched, the first few years you felt anxious about gifting him, because you felt like you couldn’t give him enough. He had all the money and bought everything he needed for himself, there wasn’t much you could give him. But when one time, you admitted to him this struggle of yours he assured you that it doesn’t matter what you give him, it’ll always be precious to him.

“You thought about me, you took the time to buy something for me, and that’s more than enough, Y/N,” he told you and though it took you time, but you got used to it. Especially when you saw the same excitement in his eyes every time you gifted something to him, you slowly but surely realized he wasn’t expecting a Gucci suit, but a thoughtful gesture.

Gathering in the living room you open the presents one by one and just as always, everyone was quite creative with the gifts. You can’t help but still feel a little anxious when Harry grabs his gift from you. Giving you an excited look he unties the little bow on the top and tears the wrapping paper off.

“Y/N!” he breathes out, eyes softening as he pulls the knitted cardigan out of the box.

“I always saw you wearing all sorts of cardigans and so I finally had a reason to learn how to knit, so I thought I would make one for you,” you ramble as he holds up the baby blue cardigan that has little daisies all over the front. It took you an entire week to just make the daisies, you worked on the whole cardigan for more than two months, usually in the middle of the night, staying up until unholy hours to finish in time.

But Harry’s smile is worth it all, he is beaming, clearly so in love with what you made him, so you breathe out relieved. He then puts it aside and wraps his arms around you pulling you into the tightest hug.

“Thank you, I love it so much,” he mumbles and kisses your temple and you breathe in his sweet scent, burying yourself in his embrace, hugging his waist.

When you part, Harry reaches for a box from under the tree and hands it to you, a nervous smile tugging on his lips. You can tell he wrapped the gift himself, the silver wrapping paper is a little uneven, but the huge rainbow colored bow on the top is the perfect touch that makes it like a piece of him.

You carefully tear the paper off, peeking inside you just see a plain box that doesn’t give much away. Glancing up at Harry you see how he is anxiously biting his bottom lip, even though you’d be happy with a gift as small as a candle. It’s the thought that counts.

“I-I wasn’t sure if this was the one you mentioned to me, so I hope it’s gonna be alright,” he mumbles, eyes fixed on your hands as they open the box, while you try to think back what you have told him about that caught his attention, but you just can’t recall what you wanted to get so badly you told Harry about it.

As you open the box you don’t process what it is immediately, the plastic wrapper making it hard to figure it out, but when you carefully pull out the object, you gasp in surprise.

“Harry!” you breathe out as you pull off the plastic of the old, vintage polaroid camera. It’s not one of these new types you can buy in stores easily, this is a classic, must have quite a history behind it.

Now you vaguely remember talking about longing for an oldschool, vintage camera, but it was months ago and you’ve forgotten about the whole thing since these devices cost a fortune because there aren’t many left from them. But now there’s one in your hands, because Harry not only listened to you, but he remembered and went out of his way to find you one in amazing condition.

“This must have cost a fortune!” you huff, your heart pounding in your chest, though you already know it doesn’t matter to him.

“This face is worth every penny,” he smiles at you softly before you throw yourself at him for another round of hugging. This man surely knows how to have you wrapped around his fingers.

The two of you sit on the floor as you figure out how to make the camera work, Harry bought everything needed, so you have a few packs of films as well. When it’s all done you bring it up to your face and aim it at Harry. It takes him a moment to realize that you’re about to snap your first photo and he tries to snatch the camera away, but it’s too late, the flash goes off and the device pushes out the undeveloped picture.

“You wasted your first snap on me?” he protests rubbing his eyes after the flash blinded him for a little.

“It’s not a waste,” you tell him as you patiently wait for the picture to finally appear.

Slowly, the colors start to show and in a couple of minutes Harry’s face appears, his hand reaching in the direction of the camera, looking out of focus, only his face appearing clearly. He looks so delicate, his eyes dazzling as a soft smile plays on his lips. This moment now will live forever not just in your mind, but on this photo.

 Harry goes out with his karaoke performance this year for sure and you’d be actually anxious about him winning if only you didn’t have the absolutely best performance right in your pocket.

His sweater this year features some really ugly looking penguins and a horroristic reindeer on the back, it’s really ugly and you can’t even imagine who thought it would be fine to make it and then sell it. His choice of music is also excellent, he has a great eye for songs you’d never imagine him perform and then shock everyone with it. This year, he chose Rude Boy by none other than Rihanna, and it’s fantastic, no one can make it through the song without crying. Harry makes sure to put on his best show, even dancing and twerking unapologetically, trying everything to win the battle and you are amazed by his effort. Above all the fun and jokes, he nails the song, that’s undeniable. It always baffles you how he can just slay any and all genres, even the ones that stand a million miles away from his style.

When the song is over, you all cheer for him, because he truly deserves it. He grins down at you in victory, but you just give him a challenging smirk.

“You can just give up now, if you want,” he teases you as you stand up from the couch and the two of you trade places.

“Oh, I think you should be the one to worry about losing,” you warn him grabbing your bag. Stepping to Gemma you whisper into her ear, instructing her to put on your song when you call out from the bathroom, since you are planning on do a grandiose entrance. When she hears what song you’ll be singing she gasps.

“Oh my fucking God, no way!” he looks at your with wide eyes.

“What? What is it?” Harry asks, dying to know what you just told his sister, but you shake your head at him.

“Patience,” you tell him before locking yourself up in the bathroom.

This year, you didn’t find the sweater, the sweater found you. On one of your thrift tours, you were digging up a huge pile of clothes when you came right across it and you knew what you needed to do.

Putting on the sweater you fix up your hair quickly before putting on your party glasses, the one that lights up if you switch it on. You take one last look at yourself in the mirror and smirk at your reflection knowing well you’ll have everyone dead when you walk out.

“Gemma! You can start it!” you call out with your hand on the doorknob, waiting to hear the music. Gemma quickly starts in and you haven’t even stepped out, you can hear a round of gasps.

Best Song Ever blasts through the speakers and you walk out trying your best to imitate a younger version of Harry, wearing the absolute ugliest Christmas sweater ever, that has the faces of One Direction all over it, filling up every inch of the fabric, and all of them have poorly photoshopped Santa hats on, it’s just literal trash and ridiculously perfect for the battle.

You grab the mic and start singing as everyone screams in the room. You jump, sing and even do the dance moves the boys do in the original music video, and when you look at Harry you see him staring at you in disbelief and total defeat. Everyone knows you won, nothing can top this performance ever and you could burst from the sweet feeling of victory.

By the end of the song everyone is up on their feet dancing and singing with you, a mini party forming in the middle of the living room and you all scream the last lines as the song comes to its end.

“I think we don’t even need to vote this time,” you say when the music stops, everyone screaming in agreement while Harry stares down at you, trying to hide his growing smirk.

“Where did you even find this?” he asks chuckling as he takes a better look at the sweater.

“At a thrift store, it called out my name, knew it’d be perfect.”

“It really is ugly, if I’m being honest,” he sighs, his eyes meeting yours again. “And the song… I accept defeat, you earned this victory, Y/N,” he tells you bowing and admitting your victory.

 Later that night everyone is so keen on watching Holiday, you agree to stay even though you feel your eyelids heavily weighing down, threatening to close with each passing moment. You let your head rest on Harry’s shoulder and he presses his cheek against the crown of your head.

It’s not a surprise you fall asleep halfway into the movie, but what you weren’t expecting is to wake up and find yourself not on the couch anymore, but in Harry’s bed. It’s dark, only the moon is shining through his windows and as you turn to the right you see that he is sleeping peacefully next to you on his back, one arm spread next to him, hand hanging from the edge, the other one resting on his stomach, rising and falling in a slow rhythm.

Squinting your eyes you look at the digital clock on his dresser, it reads 3:23 am so you’ve been asleep for quite a few hours now. You don’t even remember him bringing you up here, but you’re definitely not mad that he didn’t bring you home, just up to his room.

Rolling to your side you give yourself a moment to adorn his beauty without fearing he would catch your wandering eyes. Everything seems so perfect about him, the line of his nose, his cupid’s bow that delicately rolls into her lips. The crease between his eyebrows, his soft skin on his cheeks, down his neck that runs into his broad shoulders and inked, strong arms. You truly think there’s no man that could compare to him and you are lucky enough to live your life so close to him, be able to touch him, hear his voice whenever you miss him, see his smile and share a connection with him.

It’s so silly, but you think of him as your personal ray of sunshine in your life. Just the smallest things about him can brighten your worst day, he’ll always have a special place in your heart, no matter where life takes the two of you.

Watching him sleeping you allow yourself to break free from your doubts and fears and scooting closer you shyly curl up to his side, your head resting on his shoulder, but you can’t even make yourself comfortable before you feel him moving under you.

Sucking on your breath you think he’ll push you away, not wanting you so close, but instead, he pulls his arm from under you, curling around your frame as he pulls you tight to him, almost making you lie on top of him. Your whole body is pressed against him and you mingle a leg between his long ones under the soft sheets. You let out a long huff at the warm touch of his body against your skin, completely lost in him.

“You alright?” he mumbles in his sleep laced voice, his eyes remain closed.

“Yeah. Is this okay?” you nervously ask as you lay your hand flat on his stomach. He brings his hand that was hanging from the bed on his other side and covers yours, as he squeezes you tight to his side.

“’M all yours,” he breathes out, his words sending a shiver down your spine. You’re sure he didn’t mean it like that, but it warmed your heart to hear it from him and you let your mind play with the thought that there was more behind his words than a friendly manner.

Nuzzling your head into his chest you close your eyes and listening to his steady heartbeat you let yourself fall back asleep.

 Your morning is filled with coffee, pancakes, laughter and great company. Harry doesn’t let you leave without having breakfast with them, so you sit with the Styles family and laugh about the craziest stories from your teenage years.

“Remember when we tried to run away?” Harry grins at you, his red mug that had white polka dots all over it in his hands as he eyes you.

“Oh, how could I forget that?” you huff and Gemma turns to you with surprise in her eyes.

“Wait, I didn’t know about that!”

“Because we didn’t get too far,” Harry laughs. “We were, what, like fifteen?”

“Yeah, it was a few weeks after my fifteenth birthday,” you nod smiling.

“I had a fight with mum about God knows what, then stormed over to Y/N’s and talked her into running away. So we packed our backpacks and left.”

“Where did you go?” Michal asks with an amused grin as he listens to the story.

“We didn’t want to go into town, running into anyone we know, so we thought we would just go straight out to the meadow that’s there,” Harry says gesturing towards the window. The edge of the town is not so war, and a huge meadow lies there, a little stream running across it. “We walked for quite long, but then it started to get dark and we had nowhere to go, so we just ended up coming back home. No one even noticed we were gone, they thought we just went out to bike or something,” he finishes laughing.

“You knew about this?” Gemma asks Anne.

“Yeah, he came clear the next day, thinking he would piss me off with it, but I didn’t care, he came back for dinner, so it was alright,” Anne explains laughing.

It’s been so long since it happened, but I still remember it vividly, only that it was a more dramatic memory back then, now I can only laugh at it.

“We should go for a walk today,” Harry prompts to you.

“Wanna run away again?” you tease him.

“Always,” he chuckles.

You help cleaning up and agree with Harry to meet outside in an hour to take a walk to the meadow. Going home you take a shower and wash the dishes your mum left in the sink when she left for her morning shift. You put on a pair of boyfriend jeans, a warm sweater and your jacket with your trusty boots and you walk out the house right when Harry steps out as well. He grins in your way as the two of you meet in the middle of the street. He holds his arm out for you.

“M’ lady?” he smirks as you link your arm with his and the two of you head out for your little walk. It’s a gloomy day, might rain later as well, but it’s dry so far, so you’re just hoping to get home before it starts raining. Your runaway attempt wasn’t the only time the two of you came out here, it was kind of your place when you felt like having a break from everyone else. You biked out here, brought your favorite snacks and just ran around, enjoying the stillness.

However it also holds a bitter memory as well.

A little further down among the trees happened Harry’s first kiss and you witnessed it, feeling your heart break to a million pieces when you saw him lock lips with someone who wasn’t you.

Debby Hamilton was a friend of yours in sixth grade, you’d say, your only friend beside Harry and the three of you often hung out together around that time. Debby was a delight, you always desired to be more like her, boys liked her and she knew it damn well, but it didn’t make her cocky and egoistic. You always thought Harry had a crush on her, why would have he? They kind of looked cute together.

It was a Friday afternoon and Harry asked if you wanted to come out and listen to his new cassette he got for his old Walkman he refused to get rid of as technology was evolving. You figured he’d want Debby there as well so you invited her along, but didn’t tell Harry. He never made a move on Debby and you thought he was just looking for the right time.

That afternoon, you were supposed to meet them out there at five, but you didn’t leave until half past five and it takes about twenty minutes to get out there. Though you gave them the alone time technically, it still startled you when you found them under one of the oak trees, Debby leaning her back against the tree as Harry stood in front of her. She was smiling up at him sweetly, saying something to him and you were just about to call out for them and apologize for being late when Harry ducked his head and kissed Debby right in front of your eyes.

That was your first and probably worst heartbreak and you were only twelve. You felt betrayed, hopeless and naïve to think Harry would ever have a thing for you when there were girls like Debby. You left without letting them know you were there. When Harry asked you later why you didn’t come you told him you felt sick to your stomach, which wasn’t a total lie, you had quite the nausea after seeing Harry with Debby, but he didn’t have to know all the details.

He later told you about kissing Debby and you pretended like you didn’t know about it. However they never dated and not long after their kiss Debby drifted away from the two of you. Not that you minded, you had a bitter feeling every time you had to look at her after that, jealousy raging in your chest knowing that she got Harry’s first kiss.

He didn’t bring it up after and you weren’t keen on talking about it, but you still know which tree they were standing under and now as you near the area you see that it still stands tall near the tiny stream.

Peeking up at Harry you see that his eyes are focused on the same tree, but then he catches you looking.

“Memories?” you innocently ask, feeling your chest tightening. You don’t even know why you asked. It’s been over a decade since that kiss, you are both adults, but you still can’t help the sadness that washes over you at just the thought, why would you want to get him talk about it now?

“’S just… that’s the tree I kissed Debby when I was twelve,” he mumbles with a shrug. Biting into your bottom lip you look at the old oak tree nodding your head and before you could stop yourself, you speak up.

“I know.”

“What? How would you? I never told you,” Harry asks stopping, a puzzled look pulling on his face.

“Well I… It doesn’t matter,” you sigh, regretting ever opening your mouth.

“It does. Tell me!” he pleads standing in front of you.

“I know it, because… I was here.”

“You what?”

“I came, I was just very late. And when I arrived you two were standing there and I saw you kiss. I thought I shouldn’t interrupt whatever was happening so I went home and let you two be,” you explain, changing it up a little bit.

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Why is it important that I saw it? It doesn’t change anything, right?” you ask with a smile that you intended to look innocent, but deep down it’s filled with pain.

Harry opens his mouth as if he wants to say something, but then remains silent and you are done talking about it, so you just quietly keep walking, Harry catching up with you a few moments later.

It’s awfully quiet after your revelation, it seems like Harry is deep in his thoughts and though you’re dying to know what’s occupying his bright thoughts, you’re kind of afraid you’d hear something you didn’t want to.

The two of you soon head back home and slowly, but you forget about the whole Debby thing. Harry starts talking again, but he looks a little keyed up still when you reach your street.

“Wanna come over later?” you ask standing on the pavement in front of your house, it’s just an innocent question. Harry nods his head.

“Sure. Is your mum working?” he asks glancing at the house, though he knows she is, the car is not on the driveway.

“Yeah. She’ll be home around six.”

He nods again and you want to ask if he is alright, but you decide not to. You share a quick hug before he heads over to his home and you do the same. The house waits for you in silence and when the door clicks behind you, it weighs down on you heavier than you were expecting. You hang your jacket, kick your boots off and throw yourself to the couch, covering your eyes with your arm as you huff out in frustration. You feel silly for getting upset about such a small thing even after so much time, but you just can’t help it.

You barely realize the sound of the front door opening, taking your arm off your eyes you see Harry walk in, eyebrows furrowed, a worried look on his handsome face.

“Harry—“ “I was waiting for you that day,” he simply says as you sit up with wide eyes, confused about what he is really talking about.

“What?”

“That day, we agreed to meet out there to listen to my new Stevie Wonder cassette, but you didn’t show up, Debby did even though I didn’t invite her out there.”

“Well, I did, thought you wanted her there too,” you explain, startled by the situation.

“I would have invited her if I wanted her to be there, but I wanted to be with you. Only you.”

“I-I’m sorry?” you breathe out, not seeing where he is going with it.

“Y/N, you don’t understand,” he huffs and he is right. You don’t. “I wanted to meet you, but you never came, or at least I thought. Then Debby showed up, I was frustrated that you weren’t there and she was being all nice, telling me how cute I looked when I was worried and it all just happened so fast and… I didn’t even want to kiss her.” He looks properly upset telling you the story and he takes a deep breath before his eyes meet yours with a hard stare. “I wanted to be with you,” he repeats.

“Harry, I’m sorry, I didn’t—“

He shakes his hair, not even letting you finish, because he knows what you wanted to say and that you still don’t understand the meaning behind his words.

“Y/N, I wanted to kiss you,” he then finally says and you suck on your breath as he continues. “Well, not right then and there, but I’ve been meaning to kiss you, I just didn’t know when. I thought that if we have a moment that afternoon I’d do it, but you never came and I was mad and disappointed. I hated myself for kissing Debby, because I didn’t really want to, it just… happened. I wanted to tell you, and I intended to do it when I told you we kissed, but you acted so happy, I figured you didn’t feel the same way about me as I did for you. So I didn’t tell you the rest, but…” He sighs in defeat, looking for words, but he ran out.

“Why are you telling this to me now?” you ask a little out of breath, your head feeling heavy at the new information you just heard.

“Why didn’t you tell me you saw us and why did you go home without a word?” he asks ignoring your question.

“I… don’t—“

“Don’t try to lie.”

Gulping hard you lick your dried lips as you stare back at him.

“Because I was… jealous.” Your voice comes out only as a whisper. Harry’s lips part as he takes two steps closer to you.

“You had feelings for me?” he asks and you just nod your head, not trusting yourself with your voice. “Do you still have feelings for me?”

“I do,” you whisper your answer and Harry lets out a sharp breath as he leaps across the room in your way. You jump to your feet, thinking that he’ll lash out on your for keeping it a secret and you open your mouth to explain yourself, but you never get to speak up because as Harry reaches you, one hand snaps to the back of your neck, the other one to your waist, yanking you against him as his lips crash to yours.

You gasp in surprise, but it doesn’t take long to kiss him back, your numb mind blindly reacting to his sudden action. Your hands snake up to the back of his neck as you pull him closer, returning his hungry kisses. His soft lips feel so smooth and warm against yours and when his tongue runs along your bottom lip you whimper letting your tongues meet in the middle.

He is intoxicating and it doesn’t help that your adrenaline level is up in the sky, you’ve fantasized about it way too many times, and now that it’s happening your body is burning in flames. He kisses you all over and over again, his body pressing against yours hard and when he even leans in making you lean back, you lose balance and the two of you fall to the couch, both of you gasping as you are forced to part your lips.

“Fuck,” you chuckle as Harry is basically lying on you, holding himself up on his arms, but you feel him everywhere.

“’M sorry, I got a little carried away, but I’ve been dying to do this since forever,” he admits chuckling as he lifts his head and looks down at you with those bright green eyes of his.

“Really?” you breathe out, only slowly processing what’s really just happened.

“Y/N, I’ve been in love with you since I first saw you hiding behind your mum.”

“Idiot, you were just a kid, you weren’t in love,” you chuckle, running up your hands to the back of his neck, your fingers playing with the soft curls. He smirks and nuzzles his nose against yours.

“Oh, I was, I just didn’t know it yet.” Leaning down he pecks your lips softly. “I’ve been meaning to tell you so many times, but I didn’t want it to ruin our friendship. Though I was growing impatient these last few years.”

“Yeah?” you chuckle.

“You can’t imagine,” he huffs shaking his head. I almost kissed you the other day in the kitchen, but Gemma completely ruined the moment.”

“I’m sorry I ran away, I was just—“ “No need to apologize. I guess it all played out well after all, right?” he smirks and you can’t help but chuckle.

“I guess,” you breathe out and the smile slowly fades from your lips. “And now what?” you ask quietly, staring up at him.

“Now… We’ll try to make things work. Test the waters. I’m very serious about this, Y/N,” he tells you. “I’ve been waiting for this my whole life so I’m not gonna let go of you now.”

“You have no idea how happy this is making me,” you choke out feeling the tears forming in your eyes.

“Oh Love, please don’t cry,” he begs and leaning down he kisses your tears away. “I’m right here, with you. Sorry it took me so long you get here, but I’m here now.”

“I know,” you huff blinking away the tears as you pull him down and press your lips to his. “I love you, Harry,” you whisper against his perfect lips. You feel him exhale sharply as he keeps kissing you before he lifts his head so your eyes meet again.

“I’ve always loved you.”

 Thank you for reading, let me know what you thought about it!