#ugh and this german guy i knew

[skitskatdacat63]

This is very random but. I think a lot about the name of my oc Rüß. It was originally just a stand-in name and was spelled "Russ." But I didn't want people to pronounce it "Ruh-ss" so I changed it to "Ruß" and then to "Rüß" bcs that's the way to pronounce it but it was also fun to use special characters. But then ended up at the same place I started: some people still won't know how to pronounce her name bcs the ü and ß 😭 I think my one friend called her "Rub" in her head for a while. But it is now eternally her name and I don't call her by her full name :)

[ded-lime]

[scoonsalicious]

Unsatisfied, Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: Following the epilogue to Unwanted, you and Bucky finally have your first night together in your new apartment. You haven't had sex with him in an entire year. You are feeling... unsatisfied.

Warnings: Language, adult themes, mentions of past trauma, Pocket has a panic attack, she is not as okay as I thought, Cards Against Humanity, Bucky making dirty promises I fully intend for him to keep.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: My goal tonight was to work on WFLT. I had good intentions, I swear. But, I can't get Bucky and Pocket out of my mind. THEN, this was supposed to be smut. Pure, filthy smut. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!

You loved your found family, you really did. Or, at least that’s what you kept reminding yourself as you actively tried to convince yourself not to kill them right this second.

You made eye contact with Bucky from where he sat on the loveseat across the living room from you, looking about as sexually frustrated as you felt. You ran a finger delicately along your collarbone as you watched him adjust himself in his seat, and as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, you–

“Hey, Kiddo,” Tony Stark called your attention to where he sat to the left of you. “Pick a Black Card. It’s your turn.”

Reluctantly, you drew your eyes away from your ridiculously attractive boyfriend and up to your psuedo-brother, former boss, who thought it had been a fantastic idea to have your entire team show up with pizzas to your brand new apartment, on your very first night there with Bucky, in order to play fucking Cards Against Humanity as a “morale-boosting exercise.” 

Cock-blocking exercise was more like it. 

You shot Tony a glare and reached across the coffee table to draw a card. Looking at it, you rolled your eyes in frustration before placing it face-up in front of you. “What gets me wet?” you read aloud from the card.

You were met with a room full of snickering as your teammates thumbed through their hands, searching for the best card to give to you. Bucky threw down a card almost immediately, catching your eye as he did so and winking at you. God, you needed everyone to leave so you could climb that man like a tree. 

One by one, your team deposited their White Cards into a pile in front of you, and once everyone had played their hand, you picked them up, shuffling them around so you wouldn’t know who had put down what card. 

You turned each over and read it aloud, asking each time: “What gets me wet?”

“Being a mother fucking sorcerer; Vehicular manslaughter; German Dungeon Porn; My fuckslave, Regianald; Auschwitz– ew; come on guys, really?-- My vagina– okay, actually factual– Dick Fingers; A juicy little booty that goes poot poot pooty; The Biggest, Blackest Dick– hilarious, Sam…”

“What?! You can’t know that’s mine, Baby Girl!” You shot Sam a knowing look. “Yeah, okay, it’s mine, but come on– it’s a good one!” he said with a laugh.

And then, there it was, the winner. You looked up and locked eyes with Bucky, who was smirking back at you with a wicked glint in his eye, and you knew instantly it was his card you were holding in your hand. 

Flipping the card over, you read out loud with a giant smile on your face: “What gets me wet? Genetically engineered super soldiers.” Everyone around the coffee table groaned, knowing that there was no way any of their cards would have topped that. Not for you, anyway.

With a grin, Bucky reached over and took the Black Card, adding it to the pile of his wins in front of him. 

“Ugh, no fair!” Nat pouted, gently tossing her hand of cards on the top of the coffee table. 

“You gotta play to your audience, Nat,” Bucky said, spreading his legs as he leaned back on the love seat. “Can’t help it if I know what my girl likes.”

“Yeah, well, I think you’re cheating,” Sam said. His words were meant to be playful, a sore-loser’s teasing lament, but you couldn’t help the rush of heartache those little syllables sent through your system, and your body froze. 

It had been almost a year, you thought to yourself as you tried to breathe through your increasing anxiety without attracting unnecessary attention. A year of therapy and rebuilding trust. You were meant to be over this.

But clearly you weren’t. 

“Excuse me,” you blurted out as you stood up, not bothering to offer an excuse for your rudeness or sudden departure. Trying to keep your breathing steady, you nearly sprinted out of the room and up the stairs until you were shutting the door of the ensuite bath in yours and Bucky’s master bedroom. The room you hadn’t even shared together yet, and now, on your first night in your new home, when you should be celebrating, becoming reacquainted with one another’s bodies, it would be permeated with thoughts of her.

You slid down the door to the cold tile floor, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you tried to shake the memories from your mind’s eye. But they, and your tears, began to fall in earnest. Despite what you knew to be true– that Bucky loved you, had only ever loved you, your mind kept bringing you back to the events of last year– of all the times he abandoned you for her, left you alone when she needed him. The things he had said to you while he was inside of you because she had told him she liked it. The sight of her riding his dick in a derelict safehouse in Russia. Your bones snapping and a bullet ripping through your flesh.

You couldn’t breathe. God, why couldn’t you breathe?

You shoved your fist into your mouth, trying to muffle the sound of your sobs. You were supposed to be over this, you kept reminding yourself. You were supposed to have forgiven him. But the memories brought about a visceral reaction you hadn’t experienced in months. Today had been meant to be a new beginning for the both of you, a fresh start. Something better, you had promised each other.

Why did it still hurt so much? 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed. You could have been hyperventilating on the bathroom floor for minutes or hours; you couldn’t tell, when a soft knock reverberated through the surface of the door.

“Sweetheart?” Bucky’s voice was muffled through the wood. “Doll, I can hear you crying. Let me in.” His words were soft, understanding, sorrowful. He knew.

You couldn’t move. You wanted to open the door, to lose yourself in his embrace so badly, but you couldn’t control your body enough to coordinate movement. All you could do was hug yourself as you sobbed.

“Pocket,” you heard Bucky murmur through the door. “Baby, I need you to breathe for me, ok? Your gonna make yourself pass out. Just… just unlock the door, alright? That’s all you have to do for me, sweets. Just unlock the door.”

Unlock the door. You could do that. One, simple motion. You slowly lifted a trembling hand above your head, connecting with the doorknob by sense of touch, alone. With shaking fingers, you managed to disengage the lock.

At the sound of the click, you heard Bucky exhale in relief. “Okay. Good girl. I’m gonna come in now, okay, sweets?” You knew you should move– you were still curled up in front of the door, but you couldn’t get your body to cooperate. You tried to speak, but the only sound that came from your throat was another agonizing sob.

You heard the knob turn and the door begin to press against you. With gentle but steady pressure, Bucky opened the door, sliding your body across the bathroom tile in the process, but you barely noticed. He would always be a force that had the ability to move you at his will.

When there was enough space for him to fit his body through the door frame, Bucky squeezed himself in and turned to look behind the door, searching for you.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, dropping down to his knees to join you on the tile. In an instant, he had you in his arms, picking you up and cradling you to his chest. 

“I-I-I’m…” you stuttered, trying to form words through your sobs, “s–s–so s-s-sorry.”

Bucky tutted as he stroked your hair. “No, sweets, no. I’m the one who’s sorry.” He kissed the top of your head, and you found that your breathing began to steady in his presence. “My actions keep causing you pain.”

You shook your head vehemently, clutching to the fabric of his shirt as if your very life depended on it. “No,” you whispered. “It’s not… It’s not you.” You closed your eyes, trying to mold your jumbled emotions into a cohesive thought. “This place is supposed to be safe,” you told him, hoping he would follow what you were trying to say. “Ours. And then… when Sam said… that… it was… it was like her ghost walked right in the door. She’s still haunting me, Buck.”

You felt his arms tighten around you. “Sweetheart,” he murmured into your hair, “what do you need? What can I do?”

You wiped at your eyes and looked up at him with a tear-streaked face. “Tell me you love me, Bucky.”

His piercing blue gaze was honest and sincere as he looked down at you. “I love you, Pocket. I have only, ever, loved you.” No questions, no ridiculing your request for reassurance– just pure understanding that this was what you needed from him

You felt yourself exhale, the tension that had been wracking through you ebbing away as you looked into his eyes. “I love you, Buck,” you whispered back. “I’m sorry– I thought… I thought I was better.”

His face was soft as he looked at you. “Doll, you are getting better. It’s a process. We’re a process. And we work on us, together.”

You snorted in spite of yourself as you wiped your nose. “How the fuck did you get so goddamn wise?” you asked him. “It’s mildly annoying.”

“Ah, there’s that dirty mouth I love so much,” he smirked at you. “Come on.” With a gracefulness that belied his massive size, he lifted you up and carried you back into the bedroom, gently placing you on your new bed.

“Oh, shit!” you said, trying to stand up. “Everyone’s still downstairs–”

“I kicked them out as soon as you left the living room,” he told you, coming to kneel before you as he pulled you back down. “Serves them right for interrupting our first night living together when we haven’t touched each other in eight thousand, seven hundred and forty three hours.”

You widened your eyes. “Not that your counting, or anything,” you said with a giggle, and were rewarded when Bucky smirked up at you.

“There’s my girl,” he said, stroking your cheek. “I know we had big plans for tonight,” he said as he rested his vibranium hand on your knee. “And trust me when I tell you, there is nothing I want more than to strip you naked and take you apart on every single surface of this apartment until you can’t remember your own name.” You gulped at that. “But,” he continued, “all that can wait. Tonight, I’m gonna go back into that bathroom, light some candles, and run us a bubble bath. Then, you and I are going to get in that tub and I’m just gonna hold you, okay?” You found yourself nodding dumbly at the sensual promise.

Bucky leaned in close to you, tucking a strand of hair away from your face and behind your ear. “Tonight,” he reiterated, “I just want us to be close. And then tomorrow?” He leaned in to whisper seductively into your ear. “First thing tomorrow, I’m going to fucking ruin you.”

Part 2 ->

[akane171]

­­­Things about Ron Speirs that live rent free in my head

-“SPEIRS, GET YOURSELF OVER HERE!”

I don’t know what I like most about this scene. The fact Dick just furiously passed Sink and ignored his commander, because his boys were getting screwed? Speirs running to him and then without a single word sprinting to do the job? Or Nixon with his binoculars liveblogging the whole  battle? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-The change in his voice and intonation between “I’m taking over” and “First Sergeant Lipton!”.

-The church scene, when Lipton says Easy men didn’t care about the gossips… It was HILARIOUS. Like, Lip? Sweetheart? Ron scared the shit out of Christenson and some poor innocent kids in the same damned ep. I could hear Pat’s sobbing in the background during that scene, mixed with the nuns’ chorus.

-A man needs a hobby and his was trolling people. Aside of the whole “did he or did he not shot the prisoners”, he enjoyed the gossips, appearing suddenly out of nowhere, while giving creepy speeches and traumatizing people. And he did it fabulously. Legend.

-His little, millisecond pause, when we watch his back while Lipton says “Well, maybe they keep talking about it because they never heard Tercius deny it”.

-And two things about this scene. Lipton knows Speirs was trolling people and it was amusing him. And Ron’s answer “Well, maybe that’s because Tercius knew there was some value to the men thinking he was the meanest, toughest sonofabitch in the whole Roman legion” - he knows Lip knows he was trolling people and (not directly) admits it. He never did that to anyone else, what also means he really respected Lipton (gross sobbing).

-Anyway, this whole church scene is a pure love and I adore every second of it.

-He was a history nerd ;_; I’m kind of sad, we didn’t see him and Buck taking about some ancient battles in Gaul.

-He kept tabs on Easy xD how much he’s learnt from creeping in the shadows and eavesdropping – no one knows xD

-The fact real Speirs was shot in the ass on some of his solo patrols proves he was just meant to be Easy’s CO. Fucking destiny.

-His favourite sergeant was Grant (ok, ok, put the pitchforks DOWN, I said sergeant NOT lieutenant, geez).

-The fact no one called him “Sparky” in the show is a crime against humanity. But at least we got one “Ron” from Winters. Still…

-I think I read somewhere here, that he wore his helmet so low, because it was too big and… yes? Absolutely? Whoever noticed it – I bow to you.

And it reminds me all the promo pics where we have most of the characters standing together and he stands on the side, a little farer and looking awkwardly like “mom said I have to socialize more, so here I am, ugh…”.

-Also, he looks tiny compared to the other guys on many shots/pics, what is hilarious on many levels.

-I realized it after the second watch, that he not only stole cigarettes from Buck, but he offered them to the German POWs. Not his cigarettes, but the shit he stole. I don’t know why, but it’s just so super HIM xD

-I wonder when exactly Easy Company did realize that their new CO is not exactly the meanest, toughest sonofabitch in the army, but a big ass weirdo, with poor social skills, suspicious hobbies and sticky hands.

-Ep 8 look >>>>>>>>>>>>> everything else.

-The moment when Webster throws himself to the ground and Ron just stands in the background, watching the missile like it was meh (he had a personal ranking of “Things that almost killed me” and that missile was not even on the Top 10).

-“No. You don’t have any experience.” How the fuck Jones didn’t drop dead right after is beyond me. Also, A+++ acting.

-The fact is that Lipton was his social-skills-only-working-brain-cell and it’s beautiful.

-The moment Perconte asked him to give him back his lighter, I guess it was the moment Speirs knew his reputation crumbled to dust xD

-Unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Malarkey scared him on a purpose. I think it was accidentally, what for me, makes it even funnier. But the fact Don started as someone who was scared of Speirs like no one else and ended scarring him – it just warms my heart.

-And that pure annoyance on Ron’s face when Malarkey’s approaches him a second after he scared him, will never stop making me laugh. It the look could kill the bottle in Don’s hands would explode.

-On some point Lipton was sitting with his head in his hands and moaning that he was not paid enough to keep his crazy CO with suicidal tendencies alive and Luz was there-thereing him.

-All the things he's done to keep Grant alive.

-Basically, Speirs gives me a stray cat vibes and the fact he kind of, adopted Lipton and whole Easy proves it.

-And finally, the way he went from “we are all dead, just accept it” to “ok, I guess I’m going to stay in the army to keep the idiots alive (sighs)” is one of the best character developments and is so… sooo … you know? ;_;

Anyway, the thing I like the most about his character is how unexpected he is. I didn’t expect to like him so much. I didn’t expect him to change so much in such splendid way. But here I am.

We meet him in the show as  “a cold blooded soldier” stereotype and we learn in the end he was just deeply compassionate man (and a weirdo), who applied being a sociopath to be a better man of war. It just makes him very human - thanks to the fact his character was based on a real man, I guess. And that applies to all BOB’s characters.

And BIG kudos to Matthew Settle for doing such a great job and creating an iconic character. I read and watched some interviews, where he admitted he had a big problems with grasping the role, but damn, in the end he absolutely NAILED IT.

EDIT: Part II (x)

[fr3akingtf0utrn]

Trans Spidey reader where the reader is really into Miguel’s fangs and talons and everyone at HQ knows but Miguel (basically just sexual tension between oblivious people)

Miguel O’Hara x FTM!! Reader

Warnings: slight nsfw, def some hard tension, swearing, we stan cat claw Miguel. And remember I am German.. so poorly translated Spanish

I didn’t put a lot of detail in that reader is trans, but I feel that it’s still reassuring to know this fic has a trans reader :)) knowing that it’s about him but sorry!!

———————————————————————

“Yo, where’s your head at, mate?” Hobie hits your shoulder getting your attention. You blink from zoning out and uncross your arms.

“Uh just zoning my bad,” you say while boosting yourself back on your hands on the ledge, shoulders near your ears.

It was around lunch time at the HQ and you and Hobie were sitting on one of the ledges in the main lobby where you walk in. It was actually pretty quite since everyone is in the cafeteria, only some passing by.

“Are ye still thinking bout him, bro?” Hobie scoffs but chuckles at the same time. You roll your eyes, “kinda but it’s something else about him..” you ponder off.

Hobie rolls his eyes, “what? how he got like monster like features?” You go quiet and your eyes go wide.

“NAH MATE-!” He pushes you and fake gags. You cover your face and stand yourself up and start walking.

“Dude, I knew you liked em’ but not like that!” Hobie follows you as you guys hop down to the bridge, but you stop and he trips over you.

“wait,” you slowly turn around to him, “is it that obvious?” You frown up at him, waiting for his response.

“Yes! Bruv, you stare at him 24/7! And when you do it’s like your eyes turn to heart eyes.” He says and you groan throwing your head back while covering your face once again out of embarrassment.

“What about him interest you??” Hobie asks and you groan once again. “It’s too embarrassing,” you words slur from your hands.

He places his hand on your shoulder while walking around you. “I promise you it can’t be that bad,” hobie says and you move your hands giving him a look.

He raises his eyebrows, you look down. “His fangs and claws..” you mumble. “Huh,” hobie’s eyebrows furrow.

“His fangs and claws! Have you seen them! God I can’t there just so, ugh,” you throw your arms up.

Hobie stares wide eyed and mouth open, “lord, are you sure that’s the only thing?”

“We’ll obviously not, he’s so sweet when we’re alone. And he helps me a lot with certain things,” you say and comb your hair with your fingers.

“what kind of certain things??” Hobie smirks.

You side eye him, “your impossible to talk to.”

“If you think about it, it’s like monster fucking,” hobie says nonchalantly. You eyes went wide and jaw dropped. “You’re fucking disgusting,” you push and kick at Hobie and he stumbles.

You turn around and walk away. “Where are you going, dude?!” Hobie calls out to you. “To blow off steam!” You yell back and swing away.

“I would go find Miguel for that then, mate!” He laughs and sees you fumble a bit while swinging.

——

Your eyes barely left Miguel’s body the entire time. The thing was, you were barley listening to Miguel ramble.

He usually tended to do that when you guys were alone.

No matter what he does, he was just perfect. The way his hips swayed without realizing, giving sassy looks at others, which you found funny and cute. God, you wondered if he really did even know you liked him, you were obvious.

You were leaned against his desk, arms crossed and zoned out.

I wonder what triggers them..

how does he control them too?

most of all, I wonder how they feel…

Miguel turned towards you, “you get what I mean?” He suddenly asked.

You jumped, “uhm yeah sure.” Your head was still crowed.

He raised his eyebrow at you, “ why are you always out of it, cariño? You’ve been like this a couple days,” he asked you as he walked over to where you were.

You cleared your throat and boosted yourself up on the desk, “yeah, I’ve just been thinking..about- things?”

“Is that a question or statement?” Miguel’s eyes were on you, watching your body tense from his stare.

Miguel was utterly oblivious as well when it came to liking someone. Never noticed until someone points it out or if he gets jealous.

And, you had no idea he was literally obsessed with you. Jess had to smack the fuck out him to get his shit together and ask you out.

You let out a nervous chuckle and adjusted the neck of your suit. Miguel huffs and walks over to you. Your head was looking down at the ground, not noticing how the distance started closing until you saw big hands go on either side of your hips.

Miguel bad you trapped between his arms, his hips between your legs.

“Tell me,” he demanded. “huh,” you barely had words, ‘does this man not know notice what he’s doing?’

“Tell me what’s wrong so I can make you focus or feel better,” Miguel repeated. You bite the inside of your cheek, “okay..” you move yourself so you can reach for Miguel’s hand.

Miguel furrows his eyebrows, but continues watching, not wanting to stop you.

You grab it, admiring the pretty veins before pressing down in the middle of his palm, causing the talons to shoot out. You gasp and grin slightly.

Miguel raises his eyebrows, since he just takes his claw out on command, he didn’t know that was a way they could also show.

Your fingers graze his talons, loving the sharp edges. Miguel stares, eyes lidded looking at your mesmerized face. Suddenly, you gently drop his hand and reach up for Miguel’s face.

His eyes widen and he’s pushed up against you, your hands on his jaw.

“sorry, can I please just..?” you ask gently and Miguel nods like his hypnotized by you.

Your thumb traces his cheekbone while the other grazes his lips. Miguel’s body felt like it was on fire, being pushed up against you while your hands on him.

If you weren’t so oblivious and mesmerized by him right now, you would of felt the bulge creeping up against you, including the heat between your legs.

You lift Miguel’s upper lip, “can you show me them..please,” you ask noticing his fangs aren’t showing.

Miguel once again nods and opens his mouth, a soft sharp sound was heard and they appeared.

Your eyes shined with amazement and a slight grin. Your thumb stayed in his upper lip to get better angles of them.

Without noticing, you leaned closer and your thighs squeezed against Miguel’s hips. Miguel’s breath hitched when he felt you. His eyes swirled with red lust watching over you.

He felt special that you were so entranced by him, all your attention on him in this moment.

“..so sharp, Miguel,” you said under your breath and he felt his eyes go lidded as your other hand went to hold his hip to pull him even closer if that was possible.

You moaned as your thumb got a slight cut from his fangs, blood immediately oozing out. Miguel’s eyes widening, “..can I?” He asked.

You nodded and placed your hand that was on his face, onto his hips now. Miguel looked into your eyes as he stuck the tip of his tongue out and kitten licked the blood.

He leaned forward and placed one of his hands on your thigh, squeezing slightly with his claws.

Miguel wrapped his perfect lips around your thumb and sucked slightly, you feeling him suck the blood out. You watched with your mouth slightly open, and shifted your hips in the counter, accident brushing against him.

He grunted and released your thumb with a pop, his tongue still sticking out his mouth as he let you go.

Miguel’s claws dug into your thigh and slightly ran your hands up his body, loving how your hands fit on his snap waist.

Your hands made it to his biceps and then to his shoulders.

Miguel seemed breathless as your hands traced him, him staring into your own lidded eyes.

Your eyes flickered down to his plump brown lips, seeing the blood that dried slightly on them. You licked your own and you both leaned in slowly,

As soon as you felt his breath on you, a loud accent was heard.

“OI MIGUEL!! Can I steal Y/n?? I need him for something- oh..” Hobie stopped immediately in his tracks when he tilted his head up and saw you two connected by the hips.

Both of your heads snapped to him, staring wide eyed.

Hobie quickly turned around on his boot, he shoved his hands in his pockets, “I’ll just tell him later if guess! SORRY MATES!” Hobie yelled.

As soon as hobie was at the door he yelled, “make sure to use those fangs in bed on him, Miguel!”

“GET OUT,”

The sight was something, but that something was something that Hobie wish he didn’t see.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

silly hc idea for the riddlers. What do you think it'd be like if the riddlers who have voice actors/actors met their actors? Do you think they'd be appreciative? Freaked out?

Riddlers meet their actors

Short and sweet but this is way too cute

Tw: fourth wall breaking, meta, unreality/dpdr, surveillance

Gotham

- Considering the canon (that I ignore mostly because it's done so poorly) that hes got a split personality he's talked to, it probably wouldn't go well? Lots of animosity. Like a dog growling at its reflection.

- IGNORING THAT THOUGH. He'd start quizzing him and giving him riddles since this is obviously a fake. A trick someone is playing on him.

- if he found out it was real, he'd be super apologetic and calling him Mr.

- oh god does that mean there's actors for penguin and zsasz as well? They must be more pleasant than the on screen counterparts, at least.

60s

- Between Edward's riddles and puns and Mr. Gorshins stand up, the crime fighting duo is going to be seeing double! But this isn't about them.

- given this riddler is kind of a cinemaphile, there would be so many acting questions. Favorite movie? Who is the most famous person he's worked with (besides him, obviously)? He's quite good at acting and impressions himself, as Frank Gorshin would already know.

Zero year

- Get fucked, Edward, you have no VA or actor. That will however not stop him from harassing the writer and artist. His plan was failproof! How did this GUY beat him? And he can't just read who Batman is because then it'll be like he couldn't figure it out on his own. Ugh!

- He is going to red marker a copy of Zero Year showing every unflattering panel. See that expression where it looks like he has a double chin? That has to go, fellas!

- He tells them to do a better job next time. Because there WILL be a next time. He's simply the best riddler there could be! And no, not with the mohawk, get that out of here.

BTAS

- Civilized conversation after a brief "How strange, you can imitate me- OH-" Well, perhaps you should have pushed for more riddler episodes. His brilliant mind should be on display after all!

- sorry its been...... its been how many years since the show has been on...? Of COURSE he knew that. It was just a surprise hearing it. Right now.

- well. Other than that, he's going to ask about the family, his husband, as is only polite. Then about the other voices. Working with them and-

- sorry, joker is luke skywalker?

Telltale

- It should only make sense that his voice actor should be so skilled with a long variety of credits. Perhaps he has this skill as well and he didn't even realize it!

- German is a surprising accent he didn't know he could do. That will definitely come into play at a later date if he needs to hide his voice.

Arkham

- He can't handle this. The realization he's just pixels in programming- He's so much GRANDER than this! Yes, yes, you've done a great job, whatever, he has much more concerning things to deal with. He'll spare you, Wally, simply because without you his voice wouldn't be.

- this ultimately turns into him becoming the nastiest virus that figures out how to spread to any device that can access wifi. In this new world, there's nothing he can't see or control...

2022

- honestly I think he'd be terrified. Who is this well-adjusted man with his face? He's an ACTOR? People pay to see this face? His worthless, disgusting-

- wait he has fans?

- it all goes downhill from there. Abduction, probably like when Joker abducted Mark Hamil in that one special.

- He will flip when he finds out Paul Dano wrote his origin comics. Someone who knows him so well better than ANYONE else on this wretched world.

[lunarspiral1127]

X-Men 97 episode 5 *SPOILERS*

The interviews

The reporter seemed nice and doesn't act like a typical controversial one. And, seeing Beast blush was adorable. But, Scott's interview was a doozy. What he said when he lashed out, well....he ain't wrong. I just thought Magneto would be the one to say those things, not Scott. Still, not wrong.

Jean/Scott/Madelyn/Logan drama

UGH! I hate love triangles that bring out so much stress and drama. And, I'm worried that Jean and Scott will break up because of the crap Mr. Sinister pulled. I wasn't expecting Jean to kiss Logan, and it was HIM who told her to go talk to Scott. Despite his feelings, he's still trying to be respectful to their relationship. But, seriously, Jean, why did you kiss him?!

Then apparently, Scott and Madelyn were checking up on each other telepathically, which I get why Jean would be mad at that. But, Madelyn during her time at the mansion WAS Jean and Scott thought that was her! They're the same! At least they were? Then again, they're in contact for a month and Jean kissed Logan once....UGH! I hate this drama. SINISTER THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!

Genosha

Beautiful. It was a paradise for mutants. They deserve this. The gala looked pretty, I liked the statues of Charles and Magneto, I was not expecting the Hellfire Club to be a part of this council cause I don't trust them (especially the crap they pulled in the previous show). Lots of cameos from other characters that I couldn't keep track on, but the place was lovely. It's a shame though on what happened later on....

Nightcrawler

This lovely, precious German Christian man. 🥰 I love Nightcrawler and I'm glad to see him in this show. The original voice actor who played him in the previous show still does a great job voicing him. And, he approves of Gambit and Rogue (adopted sister) being together, so that's extra bonus points. He got a new look compared to his previous one, but I still like it. Then when the massacre happened, I was so worried that he was gonna die. Thank goodness he survived, but I hate seeing him so hurt.

Gambit/Rogue/Magneto drama

I hate this love triangle SO MUCH! We get an explanation on how Rogue and Magneto got together, and I'm questioning how old she was when they first met and whether Magneto was influencing her in a bad way. Either way, still don't like this ship. Even when them dancing looked good animated, I STILL don't like it. Plus, it still doesn't make sense cause they've been against each other in the previous show, where there was no signs of the two having that past relationship.

Anyway, I'm glad Rogue finally told Gambit the truth, and I feel so bad for him. But, he knew what she wanted and how much it hurt, even going as far as to distance himself, which he showed a lot of emotional maturity, so respect to that. But, that thing where he'll lead Genosha if Rogue stays as his "queen"? DA FUQ?! Look, I like Magneto, but I did not like that. Still wish Rogue could've gotten one of those collars to nullify her powers so that she can touch Gambit. Would've solved a lot of drama, just saying.

I was SO relieved though, that Rogue said that he was right, and rejected Magneto, but I wish she could've done that without kissing him right where Gambit can see it. Either way, it seemed like she'll choose Gambit and not stay with Magneto in Genosha, THANK GOD!

So, you think this would be the end of that love triangle right? Well, yes and no? Cause what happened afterwards hurt like hell.

Genosha Massacre

So, a giant Master Mold thing showed up, killing mutants and destroying Genosha. It was cool seeing Cable again trying to stop it and seeing his mom after so long, which is a glimmer of hope but I'll get to that later. So, many people died. Sebastian Shaw, Calypso, Banshee, Marrow, pretty sure that was Dazzler or Moira not sure, and three more that hurt me so much.

Magneto. Okay, I may not like that love triangle, but I didn't hate the guy. Dude was fighting that Sentinel with a train as a whip, that was pretty cool. And, he tried to protect the Molocks. He tried to protect Leech! He got Rogue and Gambit out of the way. What hurt the most was he told Leech not to be afraid IN GERMAN! Again, didn't want him to die. Although, I wished he could've used his magnetism to push the Molocks away like he did with Rogue and Gambit, but nope. They all died!

Leech. Precious innocent Leech. He was just a kid, man! And, he got to hang out with other mutants his age. He was making friends. Only for this to happen. And, not a lot of people talk about Leech and what happened to him. But, I liked him, and that hurt.

And, finally, the one that hurt the most.....Gambit.....Remy.

He went out like a hero. He sacrificed himself to destroy that Sentinel from killing even more mutants. "The name's Gambit, mon ami. Remember it." Well, now we know why this episode is called Remember It, cause it was Gambit's last words. And, if that wasn't enough, Rogue holding onto him, crying over his body, finally able to touch him....only to not feel him.

THAT. FREAKING. HURT. SO. BAD!!! 😭 Gambit was one of my favorite X-Men characters, and I legit was crying seeing that end. It really hurt to see that happen to him, but at least he went out saving people. However! There is that slight glimmer of hope! Cable. He tried to go back to stop this, who's to say he won't try again? Time travel shenanigans will happen and he can team up with Bishop and the rest of the X-Men to prevent this from happening. It happened many times before, it can happen here. And, maybe, just maybe, Gambit, Leech, Magneto, and all those people won't have to die. This may the denial talking, but I'll be so pissed if Gambit's dead and he Rogue won't be together for good anymore, cause that would be bullcrap.

God, how am I gonna be okay when we're getting Storm and Forge vs. The Adversary next week?! And, jeez, if things keep up like this, Storm is gonna return to the whole mansion on fire. I can't imagine what her and everyone's reactions are gonna be when they find out about Gambit and even Magneto.

Anyway, good episode. Much better than last week's. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find a way to cope from all of that.

[zooophagous]

Strauss sat slightly curled in the passenger’s seat of the dirty pick up. He was very pointedly staring out the window, away from the driver, watching the reflective markers by the road fly past in a yellow blur like shooting stars. Sylvain was grinning, seemingly at nothing. She wasn’t apparently concerned with Strauss’ refusal to look at her. She was too busy. Too busy haphazardly steering with one hand while fucking with the radio with the other.

“Ugh, country music. I can’t stand this twangy shit. How about you? You got a preference?” She craned her head to look at his tee-shirt, which bore the band emblem of The Rolling Stones. 

“Classic rock fan? We can do that. You at least have good taste, Lu.”

“Where are we going?” He asked without turning his head. 

“Like I said, we’re gonna have a little fun. Seems like something you’re out of practice on.”

“I am concerned that your idea of fun will not mesh with mine.” 

“Oh come off it. I do have other interests beyond tormenting mortals you know.” She rolled her eyes. “You aren’t still MAD at me, are you?”

“You tried to kill a friend of mine and in saving him I managed to shatter my femur and be confined to bed rest.” Strauss replied flatly. “I loathe bed rest.”

“Come on. That was weeks ago!” Sylvain protested in a mock whiny voice. “You were barely on bed rest for two weeks, if that, I’m sure. I know you didn’t take long to heal. A drop in the bucket, for someone as long lived as you. Practically a minor inconvenience.”

“It is less minor for Mr. Samuel, who nearly lost his life.”

“Look, I had no idea he was as gung ho about dying as he was, ok?” She huffed. “Fine. You win. I’m sorry I almost killed Mr. Samuel by using my advanced powers of psychic suggestion to convince him to commit suicide. That’s as much of an apology as you’re going to get. Now will you try and look at me when I’m talking?”

Strauss inhaled deeply, and did as she asked, finally forcing himself to look at her. She felt so much larger than him, even though the opposite was true. She was nearly too short to reach the pedals of the obnoxiously large truck. Her claw rested casually on the steering wheel, the other tapped along in time to the music on the car door out the open window. 

He harbored a multitude of regrets. This was supposed to be an expedition in information gathering. Doing so would be nigh impossible if he couldn’t look at her, much less talk to her. 

“Forgive me. I am being rude. It is just… very new and strange for me, to be in the presence of another immortal like this. I am used to it being a bit more combative. It is not as if our previous meetings have been enjoyable.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I enjoyed them just fine. But! Apology accepted, Lu. We may as well start fresh and make nice. We have more in common than not, I’m sure.”

“Beyond both of us being dead, you mean?”

“Both of us being captives- excuse me, FORMER captives of the Van Helsings? Both of us being occult researchers?”

“How about both of us being wanted murderers?”

“Speak for yourself, Lu. You’re the one with the record. I’ve been keeping my claws clean.” 

“Is that because you’ve been good, or because you know how to avoid detection?”

“You’re so clever, Lu. Funny guy. I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

“Like me, do you?” He raised an eyebrow. “I heard quite the opposite. I was told you had a hit list of vampires to dispose of, and my name was on it.”

“Told you about that, did they? Color me impressed. They must like you, if they’re that honest with you. No hard feelings about it Lu. I can call you Lu, right? Anyway, believe it or not, I didn’t actually want to ‘dispose’ of you.”

“No?”

“Nope. You were my thesis project for graduation. Harmless little old German man. When they told me your number was up, I was actually sad about it. Sad to see you slip up, you know? That’s why I put you at the bottom of the hit list.” 

“How touching.”

“As far as I could tell, the victim in the killing that got you your murder record had it coming. But then, you did go on to kill again after that, didn’t you?”

“In self defense, yes. A Mr. Elliot Lane. Was he a colleague of yours?”

“At one point, yeah. He was a moron. Always felt like he had to prove himself. Be better than everyone else. He was a trophy hunter. It’s funny, I always knew he’d die at work. I just didn’t think I’d ever be buddy-buddy with the monster that took him down.”

“Both of those statements are false. I am not a monster, and we are not buddies.”

“Aww, don’t hurt my feelings now Lu. After all the effort I’m putting in to give you a night on the town?”

“You still have not told me where we are going.” 

“Well, I know enough about you to know you’re a biologist at heart. I also know enough about the Van Helsing Institute to know your mind is going to complete waste there. I said we’d have fun, and I meant it. Consider this a peace offering, yeah? You’ll like this place.”

“What is it?”

“We’re going to the zoo.”

“The zoo?” Strauss raised his eyebrows and turned to finally face her directly. “The zoological gardens where they keep wild animals?”

“That’s the one.”

“Why?”

“Two reasons. First, because I know you’ve never seen one and it’s pertinent to your interests. Second, because they have a petting zoo with goats, and I don’t want you to get peckish.”

She grinned evilly. Strauss grunted in reply. At least she wasn’t expecting him to join her in hunting humans just yet. “This facility is surely not open after midnight.”

“Doesn’t need to be. We can get in and out easy. Besides, it will be a nice quiet place to talk. That’s what you wanted, right? To talk? You still haven’t told me what about.”

“Yes. I am… building my courage to speak of it.” He swallowed hard. “It is a difficult topic to broach. I worry it may… trigger your temper.”

“Are you scared of me?”

He hesitated before answering. “Yes.”

“Good.”

Strauss returned his gaze to the roads. He rested his head on the window. The cool of the glass was comforting, even though the heavy rumble of the truck was off putting. The road slowly became the city. He had been here often enough to recognize parts of it now. There was the path that led to the bar, and further down, the road to Mr. Samuel’s house.

He winced inwardly at the thought. With any luck, she’d forget about wanting to hurt Sam. If she tried again he may have to break his promise to Artemis not to fight with her. She seemed content to sing along to “Paint it Black” on the radio until it faded into an obnoxious car dealership commercial that played several decibels louder than the music. 

Strauss frowned, and abruptly shut off the radio. 

“Not feelin’ the tunes, Lu?”

“If I have to listen to one more moment of commercials I will lose my composure. Are we close? I wish to get out of the car.”

Or at least, he wished not to be trapped in a small moving object mere feet away from her while she subtly mocked him.

“It’s right up this way. We’ll have to park and walk. If we climb the fence in the back corner here, there won’t be any alarms.”

“You talk as if you’ve done this before.”

“Of course. Many times.”

She parked the truck and hopped out of it eagerly. Strauss meekly trailed after her. This was already taking far too long. He’d allowed her to call the shots and get him to a secondary location. He was just along for the ride at this point. He absentmindedly stuck his claws into his pockets and felt the smart watch still there.

He gripped it momentarily. That watch was a lifeline. So long as Artemis was on the other side of it, he wasn’t completely alone with Sylvain. Not that Artemis could help very quickly. He almost missed Frau Harker. 

“Y’know Lu. Before I got into the vampire killing biz I wanted to be an exotic veterinarian? Graduated with a biology degree and everything.”

“You must like animals. I suppose we have that in common as well.”

“More than I like people.”

“How did you come to join the Institute?”

“Some of my exotic animal research led me to some interesting places. Namely, old records of vampirism in animals. One of my advisors had ties to the institute, so I wasn’t exactly discouraged from learning more from there.”

“And they convinced you that these unique new specimens you’d just discovered needed killing?”

He followed her in the dark down a tree lined path. He could smell hot compost and dung- no doubt the dumping grounds of the large animal waste. Sylvain was the one not looking at him, now. She scanned the fence line for an entry point.

“It’s something they teach you when you learn about wild animals, Lu. Large predators and humans have conflict. Large predators need careful management.”

She found her spot on the fence and made the climb. She looked not unlike a squirrel, or rodent, scaling the sheer face of tall wooden slats. 

“If people are in conflict with large predators, and someone doesn’t remove the problem predators, then the people feel unsafe, and they retaliate. They retaliate hard. If a problem wolf isn’t shot, a ranger might poison the entire pack. If a problem vampire isn’t dealt with, then every vampire loses their veil of secrecy, and all of them are in danger.”

“So your venture into the murder of our kind was done out of some desire to save us?” He tilted his head. “It was for our own good?”

“I’m not saying it doesn’t sound stupid in hindsight. You want the answer? You got it.” 

She disappeared over the fence. Strauss gripped the top of the fenceline and slowly pulled himself up. Chin ups were arduous, but he cleared the obstacle easily, and lowered slowly to the tall grass of the other side. 

“Is that it?”

“Is what it?” She led the way down the gravel path of the staff areas. 

“I suppose I was expecting a renowned slayer to have some deeply personal reasons for collecting such a body count. I thought perhaps some vampire had wronged you, planted a desire for revenge, I did not expect your interests in us to be so academic.”

“Not every bad person has the luxury of a good reason for being that way.” 

Strauss followed her slowly. His head was on a swivel, taking in the grounds. He could feel many eyes tracking him, and many excited heartbeats in his ears, but none of them human. No doubt the animal denizens of the facility were not used to seeing visitors at this hour. He worried one might sound the alarm, somehow, like a guard dog. No such alarm came.

“I suppose our paths aren’t terribly different. I too took an interest in vampires from the perspective of the biologist. I was more interested in medicine than zoology, however.”

“Interesting, ain’t it? I ended up joining the hunters, and you ended up joining the wolves. Interesting choice on your part too, Lu.”

“I did not go by choice.” He replied flatly. “I thought perhaps, given your research into my life, you might know that.”

“You had more of a choice than I did.” 

“You and I both walked willingly into the tiger’s den.”

“Wrong. I walked in to kill a tiger. You walked in because one promised you something and you believed it. Maybe you should think twice about questioning my background when you’re the one taking candy from strangers.”

Strauss shut up abruptly. Her anger was still dangerous, despite the attempts at familiarity. 

“Forgive me. I did not intend to upset you.”

“Relax, Lu. You didn’t make me mad. When I’m mad, you’ll know.” She turned to face him with aggressive eye contact. He felt himself falter even further behind her. “Besides, all that’s water under the bridge now. We ended up on the same team.”

“Same team, are we?”

“Sure. Vampires should stick together. We’re a rare breed. We won’t get a lot of people who understand us. Doesn’t make sense to fight.”

“Why then, in our previous meetings, were you so keen to intimidate me?”

“Large predators have a hierarchy, Lu.” She lingered slowly by the fence line as a pack of captive wolves approached the chain link with hungry curiosity. 

“I had to be the one calling the shots. I needed you to know in no uncertain terms who was in charge. I didn’t want it to even be a question. So, a little vulgar display of power here and there. I figured your curiosity would bring you out even if I was kind of a bitch.” She grinned.

“Why is it important for me to be brought out?”

“I already said I didn’t want to kill you.” She leaned over the guardrail to look at the gathering wolves more closely. “I still don’t. I didn’t really think that you deserved it. I also know that most vampire research subjects at the Van Helsing Institute are kept there in jars, not in dorms.” 

She crossed her arms with a sigh. “You’re doomed there, you know. They want to pretend to be your friend but you’re just an exotic pet, and soon enough you’d be another skull in a cabinet. I wanted better for you. I wanted to… I don’t know. Release you back into the wild.”

“The fact that I can tell you that I am happy and well cared for notwithstanding?”

“A psychological cage is still a cage.” 

The wolves dispersed along the fence line. The novelty of the visitors had worn off. Sylvain followed the pack with her eyes till they were hidden from sight. 

"It's a bit late to try and just put you back, unfortunately. Whatever worked for you before back home is gone now. If you're going to survive now you're going to have to adapt. And I know you're bad at adapting."

She started down the path again. Strauss wandered after her. "What makes you think I'm bad at adapting?"

"If you were any good at it you'd have done it on your own. You lived in a hole underground slowly starving to death. Don't take this the wrong way Lu. Most large predators aren't very good at adapting. Especially adapting to a bigger predator. They don't know how to cope with it. I get the feeling that it was all downhill for you once bloodletting started becoming less common for illnesses. Am I right?"

"I admit, yes. The advancement of modern medicine was beneficial to humanity, but the loss of that treatment did leave me very hungry."

"Damn shame isn't it. But you know, Lu. Even if donations run dry, you can still keep a clear conscience if you just stick to those who have it coming." She flashed her awful shark toothed grin at him, almost more like an animal baring its teeth than a person making a smile.

"Is that what you do, Frau Pietra?"

"Accusatory tone much? Besides, I know you've done it." She hand-waved him away as she strode down a path labeled "Asia." 

"Yes, I have. But if you remember, that one was practically forced on me. It wasn't my original idea."

"Sure, the dead child molester wasn't your idea." She shrugged. "But I know he wasn't the first time you cleaned up the streets a little in the name of a hot meal. Maybe it didn't make it to your file, but I have a hunch, Lu. You can tell me. I won't blab to Ursula over it."

"If you must know, I have lived through two world wars, and I admit that yes… perhaps I did take advantage of the fact that so many people simply disappear into the fog of war. A dead Nazi here or there was not terribly missed. Is this sort of thing what you do often? Do you hunt, Frau Pietra?"

"Shhh. Hey. Look." Sylvain stopped and pointed at a fence. There was a panel built into it made of glass, for the viewing pleasure of the public. Strauss approached the glass slowly.

On the other side of the fence stood an apex predator. It was long, longer in body than Strauss was tall, and it weighed more than three of him. Its fangs likewise envied his own. Strauss ran his fingers along the raised letters of the bronze plaque that gave the beast its name.

PANTHERA TIGRIS ALTAICA

The Amur tiger. Small yellowish dots of reflected light glinted in its eyes. It stood not but five feet beyond the glass, regarding its audience with cool indifference. Strauss made eye contact with the animal, and felt that for a moment he could actually hold that eye contact comfortably.

The tiger blinked slowly, and began to pad silently past the glass, treating the pair to the full spectacle of its size and striped coat.

"That is a tiger. A real one."

"Yeah. Pretty fella, isn't he? Hard to believe they get that big."

"I've never seen a real tiger before." 

"That one's not a real tiger. Not all the way. It has the fangs and the claws, sure. But it's not a hunter. It won't ever kill a deer or defend a territory. It will only ever eat and sleep and mate as its handlers allow it to."

"The sign says it is an endangered species. Perhaps places like this keep it safe."

"Safe is different from whole."

Sylvain walked off down the path again. Strauss lingered a moment to watch the tiger. It looked like a real enough tiger.

"I am sure it is quite real enough to humble anyone who tries to tangle with it."

"That's true. That's one thing I like about this place, you know? I don't even think a vampire is a sure winner against a tiger. Puts me in perspective. There's always a bigger fish."

"That is a cat, not a fish."

"Shut up." 

"How much longer do you wish to linger here?"

"So impatient. How about this. Let me go feed the ducks in the koi pond and then we'll leave. We can talk more there. Maybe I can give you some pointers."

"Pointers on what?"

"How to be a real tiger, Lu. I feel like that's what you're really curious about anyway. I'd be happy to give you a little lesson."

"Lesson?"

He asked, though the answer was obvious. 

"Of course. Before the sun rises, I'm going to need a snack. You're going to help me get it."

"I'll do no such thing."

"I wasn't asking."

She produced a quarter from her pocket, and fed it to a coin slot machine that spit out a small handful of crumbling brown pellets.

"Here. Feed the ducks."

She forced the feed into his hands. It left an unpleasant residue. He helplessly tossed the feed to the waiting waterfowl and watched it sink and be devoured. 

[greatwyrmgold]

wait what the fuck how does that work what part is homophobic how what?

—@samwise210

Figured this should be its own post. It's kind of a wild conversation.

Typical disclaimer: I'm trying NOT to start drama, so I'm not going to name names. I'll be posting screenshots of the relevant PMs (with username and PFP removed) at the end of the post, to show that I'm not just making up a guy to be mad at. Novel disclaimer: It's been a while since I actually reread the conversation in question. The simplified version has gotten a bit more extreme over time.

For the sake of sanity, I'm going to call the other party P. P did not directly say that it was homophobic for ace characters to have friends. What they said was that Lisa being ace was homophobic, because it was only there to stop Taylor from having a sapphic relationship with Lisa. Which is a conspiracy theory as hilariously low-stakes as it would be pointless, if it was a real thing.

Anyways, part of the problem is that P's argument is kinda incoherent. It's focused more on Wildbow in general, how he writes lesbians in specific, and the aforementioned conspiracy theory than anything that was actually written about Lisa. The only Lisa-relevant thing that gets brought up is the fact that she's aroace and not in a relationship with Taylor (or later Victoria).

In retrospect, I don't think I made this argument well when I was PMing with P. I pointed out that their assertions had no merit, then I said that P was basically saying that it was homophobic to write ace characters. Perhaps because of how stressed I was from all the other ace!Lisa drama flying around at the time, I forgot to explain the logic connecting those two points.

When you get down to it, the only claim P made that was both germane and accurate was that Taylor and Lisa had the sort of close friendship that shippers love (not P's framing), and that Lisa was ace and therefore couldn't be in a sapphic relationship.

The implied logic (which I failed to properly articulate at the time) is that these factors were sufficient basis to call Lisa's (lack of) sexuality homophobic. Which isn't quite what P believed; they put a lot of stock in the "Wildbow only made Lisa ace to stop people from shipping her!" conspiracy theory, and thought that was a relevant point.

Other crazy things:

Lisa's sexuality never factoring into the plot makes it a plot device. (Which is, for the record, the opposite of what a plot device is.)

On a related note, the fact that Lisa's story doesn't revolve around her sexuality is what makes her a token. (Same deal.)

Rachel is aroace in canon. (Aromantic makes sense, but post-timeskip she's having sex with Biter because "he wasn’t a bad lay, if she was in the mood for that.")

Screenshots of the relevant PMs, as promised:

I mentioned this in a later PM, but I want to point out to y'all that the timeline here doesn't make much sense. People were shipping Victoria and Lisa way before Lisa's Ward interlude.

I still hate it. Why does Tumblr not let you expand the PM box to more than 6% of your monitor. Ugh.

Anyways, the rest of the conversation was me responding to P's points, then being told that I wasn't listening well enough. And then P blocked me, which, whatever.

Also, if the "calling lesbian relationships pandering" thing is referring to what I think it's referring to, it's a comment Wildbow made about not wanting to introduce a lesbian couple until Wildbow knew the audience knew that they weren't included so he could write steamy lesbian sex scenes. Which would be pandering! (I'm paraphrasing, I didn't bother to look up the actual quote.)

[dancing-to-architecture]

39 - The Eagles - Hotel California (1976)

Ugh. No. I refuse. You can't fuckin' make me. Give me the screaming German chainsaw techno. Please!

I KNEW that Jeffrey Lebowski was My Guy as soon as he said the immortal line: "Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man!"

Don't ask me why i hate the eagles. I know they're technically competent and all that, like they're good at what they do. I also have an irrational hatred of Josh Groban and he's technically competent as well.

I think it's a mix of being dramatically overplayed throughout my life and my just being wholly uninterested in any their work, or just a general dislike of most of the people who are vocal fans of the band.

Fuck it. Buy the hellticket, take the hellride.

•Hotel California-

Aww, fuck me, "she got the Mercedes bends" is actually a good turn of phrase. I never once caught it until I actually read it, though.

The line about "we haven't had that spirit here since 1969" only gets dumber and funnier the older this song gets. The dude orders "a wine" and it just blows this guy away!

So, uhh, the food? scares the shit out of the guy? They're all killer robots? But they just can't kill the beast? What the fuck is the end of this stupid fucking song even saying?

Fuck, i hate the Eagles and i hate this goddamn song.

•New Kid In Town-

This feels like 1976. Different singer? Feels a bit more folksy.

Oh boy i really hate this.

•Life In The Fast Lane-

One of the only Eagles songs that doesn't make me wish i was born deaf... might be because i honestly thought this was a Dire Straits song for like 20 years.

But, after reading all the creepy horny lyrics in the verses that i generally can tune out, i almost wish i was born deaf AND blind.

Might be because I've never been all that fond of cars, but why are there so many songs about wanting to fuck in cars?

•Wasted Time-

Breakup song. It's okay. I've heard better ones today, let alone throughout this project.

•Wasted Time-

(Me reviewing this album)

Yeah let's reprise the song we literally just finished, why not? And also give it the same title!

•Victim of Love-

"Clearly, everything is the woman's fault." 🙄

•Pretty Maids All in a Row-

Title sounds like the name of a porno. Interminably slow, with "I'm stoned and this feels deep" lyrics.

After listening to Leonard Cohen talk about similar themes this just feels even more trite.

•Try and Love Again-

It looks from the lyrics that he had a good thing going and went for something else and now he laments what he "lost" (walked away from). 🙄🙄

•The Last Resort-

Worthless hippies and their native cultural appropriation and inability to actually DO anything. Fucking Christian cults and their megachurches actively destroying this country in the name of God, then packaging and selling hope back to the dipshit faithful.

I honestly like what this song is saying, but i think I'd vastly prefer it packaged in a 2 ½ minute long aggressive punk song than some 8 minute grandiose soft rock epic.

Well, it's over, and i still hate the fuckin' Eagles. Next!

Favorite Track: i was initially thinking life in the fast lane but now i am going to say "the peaceful silence after the album was finished".

Least Favorite Track: E. All of the above.

[stray-tori]

PiB 2 rambles compilation post

hi apparently ctrl+enter sends a post, whoopsies. attempt 2.

*kicks down the door* I JUST WATCHED PUSS IN BOOTS 2. & how can I return to my furry roots without returning to my tumblr roots.

! Spoilers ahoy !

OKAY SO: I SMILED LIKE SUCH A MANIAC DURING THE WHOLE WOLF INTRODUCTION WHICH IS PROBABLY NOT THE INTENDED EMOTION BUT IT WAS SO HYPE!! I WAS GRINNING BC IT WAS SO COOL!! I'M NOT WEIRD!! BE ON THE VERGE OF DEATH LESS COOLER IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO BE HYPED. [I did calm down when he got seriously afraid though, dw i’m not that crazy]

Obviously i knew Kitty was gonna be in it but I was like HOW. WHEN. WHERE ARE YOU. and it was such a smooth and "of course!! of course she'S IN THE BOX" way to show up! I just saw the eyes and was like “:D!!!!” (Also does anyone else remember when DW said Kitty wouldn’t be in a sequel and the whole fandom was like “well then idc” DHSAJS)

ALSO MARRIAGE??! furry marriage is such a funny concept like. what are you gonna do- wear a flowy dress- apparently yes according to the dialog at least. IT'S JUST FUNNY MAN

-

Fun German Dub Things:

“savage” from one of the two sisters in response to the unicorn horns was translated to “Geiler Scheiß” which literally means “hot/sexy/awesome shit” but I JUST DON’T EXPECT TO HEAR “GEIL” IN CASUAL ANIMATED MOVIES Y’KNOW- then again I think it was also said in Strange World??

“that’s a dog in a cat costume” - “oh yeahhh- you tricky little shitter/fucker” Me: spits

“dogpiles don’t work on cats” -> “what are you doing? sleeping off a hangover” (hangover and puss are the same word in german) The fact that they not only adapted but it also works so well because he takes a sip at the end of that line is so!!!! GOOD JOB

All the "P" signatures were changed to "K" even in the animation?? I can’t prove this but once german ver is on something I’ll def compare the animations!! so much international effort holy shit... I was like "K??? for what does that stand?? KILL???" and then I was like "Kater??? [Puss] NO WAY WHAT"

-

there were a lot of cool transition cuts but one that stood out to me was after the scene with the lives singing and his silhouette shifted to two cliffs or something of the like-

-

Obviously the wolf is extremely cool and all his scenes slay so hard, but I also like how they played up whether he was real or not. I was tending to yes bc where he grabbed Puss on his coat there was actually a tear and I just thought it'd be hard to make a fight climax if he wasn't real, but I still like how they played that up BUT GOD THANK YOU I'm a little tired of things not being real (CoUGH IDV COUFH)

friend: Also have a close look at 4:51 [crowd shot of the extended preview] me: HOLY SHIT

HOWEVER, WHEN HE STARTED BEING LIKE "I was always there" i just sat there like. no. no you're not going to make me remember the STUPID EGG FROM THE FIRST MOVIE I WAS SO SCARED THEY'D GO INTO ANOTHER GOOFY MONTAGE!! I do think it's cool they kinda... made a parallel in that but I DIDNT WANT TO REMEMBER!! BEGONE

-

very fun movie. most fun cinema experience I've had for a while. I'm really glad I went to see it in cinema bc the heartbeat sound in surround sound was def grasping and like. obviously the bass and everything!

Also kinda got kicked by like... nostalgia too? I don’t really think of PiB as often as fondly as I do of KFP so it really surprised me that I got that happy to see them again. It definitely helps that the movie genuinely slayed.

it's what I want to feel for KFP but !! UGH THE CRINGE sahjads

-

I really enjoyed it, it definitely deserves all the hype it’s getting. go dreamworks!!

I will watch bad guys soon i promise i’ve been meaning to but A

[chameleon-on-lsd]

Tatort Berlin (Das Opfer) liveblogging

just following recommendations now for episodes which also means that once again, I have 0 information about the people. well I know that that is Karow and nice to see he gets the 'green eyes, green background' treatment that vladi does also nice coat and nice hallucinations I just got SO confused because I just watched the swiss german tatort xDD like what do you mean nice high german?? I like the spurentechniker (or whatever his job title would be) 'sind sie schwerhörig?' 'mein gehör funktioniert gut, danke der nachfrage' xDD schön alleine im wald rumstampfen (aw the "Produzent*innen" credit) 'arroganter arsch dürfte die wortwahl gewesen sein' xD he knew him as a teen?? oh no ....for some reason it's super hard for me to understand karow. idk why. something in his tone or pronounciation damn that guy is also hanging on by a thread huh the colouring and lighting is very interesting damn bitch whew, what a razzia alter warum hast du dein schreibtischlicht angestellt xD honestly, mit was ner 70er jahre kamerafilter wurde das gefilmt xD </3 like the flashbacks are more crisp than the current time ufff he had daugthers 'er wollte diesen weg gehen. weg von uns' ufff robert </3 lmao the beweiskammer typ 'hörn sie allgemein schlecht und nur bei ansagen von frauen' 'mein gehirn funktioniert gut' 'ach wirklich -.-' XDDD that is an ugly beige outfiit from her tho lmao god and I hate the fucking lens flares das ist mir der kde sonnenbrillen filter noch lieber und, welches familienmitglied habt ihr zusammen fast umgebracht? ah nur den vater beklaut, auch gut mag die musik ja sehr akdöslkdöalsdaö karow ;-; also was ist mit all den fucking kleinen lampen immer maik ;-; mh drinnen rauchen, geil 'sie kennen mich als robert schwarz' kill me and karow's reaction to it lsadkal the jukebox szene love it and his cunty little jacket <3 bokeh lights go hard 'macho bullshit. dumm. aber verlässlich' <3 welp, bye bye evidence i was enjoying the vorlese time XDDD wie grandjean mal wien waschbär durch den trash wühlen und jetzt puzzle spielen XDDD 'hey karow, sie sind ein scheiss kerl' lmao aaaaaaaah ;-; 'memo's tattoo & döner' neee. echt? xD scheiss auf alle coffeeshop + bookstore. döner und tattoo, das geht hart xD sadpoaksldjaljkdsj I like that guy tho 'GEILE IDEE ODER' SURE XD 'wird sind der beste der welt' wohl eher der fucking einzige xD boah ich hab so das bedürfnis die kamera linse abzuputzen xD die adidas trackies xDD schon stammkunde. schön xD asdjasldjlasdjaljdj aaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhh 'ist wohl schicksal' kill me wie alle einfach fast cropped jacken tragen. fühls xD AAAAAAAH cries a lot at them meeeting boy, that's a lot of kippen for a child xD (yes he's a teen.) sadlksldöa. why is this making me cry ;-; ugh the fucking dusky look. god I hate it jesus christ, robert's eye colour looks INSANE in this scene like. alien green help. his soft voice der dönerbuden typ is super xD god robert you fucking stalker xD XDDDDDDD war SO klar dass sie pfefferspray hat XDDDD this is truly like a fucking horror movie for her XDDD the knocking and 'CAMILLA' in that voice lmao AND SHOVING A NOTE UNDER THE DOOR and showing her the crime scene photos?? truly unhinged behaviour doesn't water not help against pepper spray? wow robert actually manages to be smart hell yeah male escort aww I like her ;-; lmao wie die beiden sich im auto half-assed verstecken XDDD karow is SO hard for me to understand. girlie, do not follow him.... (or I guess do and be his saviour xD) boah das kleine fucking lufterfrischer männchen im auto xD ich hass die dinger aslkdjadslkdja lmao ja als wärs nicht aufgefallen wie sie rennt und ne quietschende fucking tür aufstösst und die darf dann allein dort rumwandern die verdammten kippen dakljslk ;-; lmao karow, lügen konntest du vielleicht auch schon mal besser

IMMEDIATELY goes to torture. good old organized crime big yikes daMN bitch. this escalated quickly. christ asdklsadlkaskda babies ;-; yay re-attached fingie what was that metaphor robert but yeah, makes sense. why would only that lead to the murder of a driver lmao how offended she is at being second favorite person. girlie you don’t know him xD damn. full on brechstange? xD and then leaving the door open? what a choice yeah maybe leaving hospital wasnt such a great idea huh yeah, you show that piece of paper how upset you are…. helloooo random statisten polizist aww maik helpin sami ;-; (which was obvious) dsakljdkal robert being like ‘uhm actually what if they weren’t in love and he just wanted to help?!’ ;-; karow he never loved anyone. that’s why he left notes only you would understand ;-; aaaaaah ;-; 'wo man allein sein kann. dich würd ich mitnehmen’ kill me WHAT XD I was gonna say 'the urge to fight a guy just to feel something’ but then they kiss xD what is happening xD you ever run into a guy and make out with him for it also. like. was he walking with other people? xd do they just have to stand there now like… classic friend.. bbies ;-; DAMN y'all are moving fast from first kiss ahh ;;-;; you okay karow… bby!maik ;-; 'ich bin hingefallen’ uhu und adam is abm bike gefallen ?????? he actually went home?? jesus christ 'das war das einzig gesunde was ich je gefühlt habe für einen menschen’ ;-; ja so boot fahren is geil weLPPP wollt grad sagen 'schick in dem blazer’ und dann kommt memo mit 'schnicke. siehst gut aus’ xD you just now realised that everything was for you? NOOO. maik ;-; welp whewwww the tears of course he gets the symbol tattooed ;-; crying forever shoutout to this episode for making me actually sob. I think a first on this german copaganda adventure I’m on this summer

[arctic-hands]

It's been about 2 months so I can finally free myself of the second hand awkwardness of my train ride home from the eclipse

So I get on the train back to the East Coast at around 1 a.m. At roughly 2 p.m an obviously Amish family consisting of two young adults who look way too young to be taking care of this many kids, a teenage girl, three kids who look to be around seven, and two infants.

Hoo boy. This is a sixteen hour train trip that would be stretched to eighteen hours after engine trouble.

Predictably, the two babies did not like being in a rickety train and screamed their heads off periodically for the entire ride. I don't fault the babies for screaming, the ride was quite wobbly and rumbly. I was once a screaming baby too.

Predictably, the three 7ish year olds were running around and climbing everything, even trying to climb into the overhead luggage racks. I can't fault the children for this, as I too was a rambunctious child who liked to climb and jump before my knees turned to shite, and were I not a master of zoning out I too would have been quite bored.

What was not predictable was that the Amish couple did nothing to soothe or calm their kids the entire ride. The teenage girl just ignored everything and read books. The most the parents did was if their babies in their laps got a little too shrieky for THEIR comfort they would put their hands over the baby's mouths to muffle it, which predictably did nothing but make the babies more agitated.

Now I could extend sympathies for these young parents. When I say young, I mean twenty year olds at best. Too young to be taking care of this many kids. But in the seventeen hour time span I spent with these people, about two thirds of it was me wracking my brain for the German words to say "madam, please calm your children", and the other third was me wracking my brains for what I know about the Amish and how to say the words more archaic. At one point the seven year old girl looked behind her seat she was climbing on and just stared at me, but I was too sleep deprived to even say hello in any comprehensive language. And I was wearing a mask so my polite smile didn't show, so she just kept staring at me.

Anyway

At some point some European tourists got in. One was a man who looked to be about ten years older than me. Classic tourist vibe, camera around the neck and everything. Anyway as they were boarding the car the father had left his seat and the mother said something in Pennsylvania Dutch, and the camera tourist's eyes light up.

Ugh. 🫠

I wasn't trying to eavesdrop but I had the misfortune of being across the aisle and one row behind the parents and the screaming babies on their laps so it was inevitable that of course my rusty German skills would suddenly work for the first time in like a decade, enough for me to pick up the guy introducing himself auf Deutsch, and I heard him explain he was from Bornholm and could speak German fluently, how were you?

So I don't know off the top of my head when Pennsylvania Dutch linguistically drifted far away from German or vice versa, p sure it's been at least a century and a half. All I know is I had to contend with hearing a few contrite statements in PD and then some confused questions for clarification by the tourist in German before the two of them just stared at each other for like thirty seconds in complete silence before the Dane smiled politely, said "Tschüs!" and hurried away.

I thought about approaching him to explain what the Amish were and about Pennsylvania Dutch, but a) I was so fucking exhausted, 2) wasn't sure if he knew English and my German skills have degraded from my previously conversational level and I can understand more than I can actually say, and 3) I think everyone who experienced what just happened wanted to melt underneath the train tracks and solidify into flattened pennies.

Anyway this in no way involved me but it was so awkward I had to talk about it in therapy later that week lol. Eventually the family got off the train an hour before I did, perhaps predictably in Pennsylvania, and just about everyone in my train car audibly groaned in relief. The Dane had sat down somewhere behind me and I wasn't rude enough to turn and try to find him, so I have no idea if he was still there and groaning in relief too.

Anyway that sucked lmao

[swimmingenthusiasty]

I met me yesterday.

And he likes tequila. And he's meeting up with a Polish friend today. I mean come on...

I should get the number.

He even kisses the same and expressions are the same wtf...

I know you might take such a thing for granted. You see eachother all the time and you're from eachothers background.

My mind was still when he sat next to me. I've been so used to feeling that distance of misunderstanding that only foreigners can feel like, and nothing else. And I've had nothing but foreigners, I guess my whole life.

Dudeeee...

His boundaries, what he stops for, what he's interested in...

I don't know what to do now.

I'm used to it being so much work. Trying to find common ground, trying to break the ice. Reaching out into their culture. Just basically switched off. The whole time.

Ugh.

Really really truly I have nothing to do with Germans. They will never feel as real as my own people, and I won't feel like anything meaningful to any German, ever. Why the fuck have I spent my life in their country?

I will only ever find distance and misunderstanding with Germans and Indians.

Otherwise,

Have love for asians and I'm grateful for that. But this was something else.

This Spanish guy, he's from the same blood.

Dudeeee...

I never knew what that really meant. Because I have brothers after all. I've met Arabs and cousins. I don't think I'm from them. I know that sounds... I think brothers can belong to different starts?

Mannnn...

I met someone like me, wtf.

[sweaterkittensahoy]

It's funny you mention that because the conversations I saw around that scene are what made me decide to bring this book home and read it (not yet, soon).

When I first saw the scene, I assumed Solly was being helpful to lift the guys supplies off of him. Which he does. They'd been planning to escape before the Long March, and I read his actions as an act of subterfuge to get supplies in case they got the signal to run for it.

When I was looking at other responses to the episode, I saw a lot of people read it as part of a much larger issue with Jews being shown to be humane towards unquestionable Nazis (not just random German soldiers, but characters [like the guard] who are clearly full-blown Nazis), and it was an issue I only vaguely knew existed. I knew about some very obvious fucked up shit in romance novels in the last decade or so where someone (possibly more than one someone) wrote a fucking romance between a Nazi guard and a camp prisoner. Like, that is unquestionably fucked up. Anyone who can't see why needs to unpack some shit.

But the stuff like Solly's actions in the March, where I saw a small act of subterfuge, Jewish viewers saw yet another example of a Jew showing humanity to a Nazi as though it needs to be proven that the Jews actually were better human beings than the Nazis, and I don't have a one-to-one example of understanding the frustration and anger of that, but as a twangy southerner, I don't trust when a single character shows up with a twang in a movie or tv because I'm just waiting for that person to be painted as incredibly stupid or incredibly racist or incredibly right wing. Because they so often fucking are and it's exhausting to see it over and over and over when the lived experience as a twangy southerner isn't this fucking trope.

And I cannot imagine the number for the exponent on how much worse it must be as a Jew to watch a Jewish character end up, once again, being shown to appear helpful to a Nazi.

I really want to be clear that the most important thing to do when Jews say "Oh, god, not this shit again" is to pay attention and listen as they explain 1) what the shit is and 2) why it's a fucking problem. In the same way we listen to other marginalized groups when they say that. So much casual antisemitism gets handwaved as "ugh, you're overreacting" when the same shit for a different group would cause outrage. If a Jew says "Hey, this is a problem," and your first response is, "No, it's not." That's your sign to maybe do a little digging before you decide to argue.

Found in a little free library today, and apparently this book was first published in 1973 and I get the feeling reading this is gonna make me very mad.

Like, I feel pretty sure just from the blurb that I have stumbled on a formative "Jews showing humanity to Nazis" story for a lot of people.

[krispyalpacaduck]

Rescue Me - Chapter 3

Rescue Me - Prologue | Rescue Me - Chapter 1 | Rescue Me - Chapter 2 | Rescue Me - Chapter 4 | Rescue Me - Chapter 5 | Rescue Me - Chapter 6 | Rescue Me - Chapter 7

Pairing: Morbius x Reader

F/D - Favorite drink

Y/N - Your name

F/S - Favorite scent

F/C - Favorite color

Warnings: Language

Walking down the sidewalk coming home from work, you stopped at a newsstand. 

“Hey, Frank. How’s it going?” 

“Hey Y/N! Haven’t seen you in a couple days. I don’t have any new books yet. I did get some new note and sketchbooks in though.” 

“That’s okay. I have a to-be-read pile a mile high in my apartment.” You said, chuckling. Browsing the newspaper, you spot one with Michael’s face on the front page. Picking it up, the headline read Dr. Michael Morbius Apprehended in the Vampire Murders

You swallow the sudden lump in your throat. 

“Glad they finally caught him. Guy looks like a freak.”

You snapped your head up, an angry expression on your face about to give him an earful, then thought better of it. You liked Frank. He was one of the few people you felt safe talking to. Plus, you didn’t want him to think you were in league with a murderer. 

“As if the streets of New York were any safer before he came along.” You opted instead as you read the article. Looking up at Frank, you say, “How many times have you been robbed this week, Frank?”

He looked surprised, then bowed his head. You decided to buy two of the notebooks and a sketchbook. As you handed him the money, you said,

“Keep this somewhere safe. I’d hate to see my favorite newsstand vendor go out of business because of city riffraff.”

He smiled in a fatherly way, taking the money from you.

“Thank you, Y/N. Appreciate ya.”

~~~~~~

“Hey, where’s that cripple that was with you the other night? Did you scare him away, too?” The desk clerk looked up and down your body lewdly, biting his lip. Sucking in a breath, he said, “Nah, you’re probably into that vampire psycho running around town. Oh, wait, they arrested him.” He made a sad face, using his finger to drag a tear down his cheek. 

Your jaw clenched in anger, your hands balling into fists. Taking a deep breath, you began to laugh loudly and turned to him.

“Oh my god, you’re so funny.” 

Putting your hand under your chin, you cocked your head at him. “How are you still single?”

“I know, right? I’m hilarious.” He looked you up and down again, causing you to repress a shiver. “You free later?”

Putting on a sultry face, you placed your tongue to the roof of your slightly open mouth and reached out to grab his tie, pulling him towards you. He licked his lip, smiling big. You smiled back at him, leaning into his lips. 

“I knew you wanted me.” He purred.

Reaching into your bag, you grabbed one of the notebooks and cracked him upside the head with it. He looked surprised and yanked himself back.

“What the fuck?! Bitch!”

You winked as you put the notebook back in the bag, walking towards the elevator.

“Do you really want to fuck around and find out anymore? Take this as a lesson. Stop being a creep.”

A cleaning lady was walking by who had seen the whole thing. She held up her hand and you high fived it as you got to her.

“I could have you thrown out of here, you know!”

“Oh yeah? On what grounds? Putting a sleaze in his place?”

“My father knows the owner!”

“Curious. Does your father know about all of the sexual harrasment complaints?”

He jerked his head back, then snarled

“Watch your back, bitch.”

Getting into the elevator, you started to shake a little bit as the anger wore off. Then you started to worry. What if he made good on his words and retaliated? Almost to your apartment, you were lost in your thoughts when you distantly heard a voice yell,

“Shit, no! Maggie, come here! Bad dog!”

Just as a furry missile knocked you off your feet.

~~~~~~

A German Shepherd was licking you senseless in the face. Trying to sit up, Maggie jumped all over you.

“Ugh, Maggie. You licked me in the mouth.” You said, laughing as you wiped your mouth. She continued to lick you until she saw her owner run up, then hid behind you.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! Maggie, come. Bad girl. You can’t be doing that!”

You looked back at Maggie cowering behind you, then to her owner. “It’s okay, Beth. She just missed me is all.”

“She made a beeline right for you as soon as she saw you. You’re the first person I’ve seen that she gets that excited to see.”

You cupped her face in your hand and squished her jowls. Maggie licked you again. 

“Who’s my baby girl? You are! Yes you are!” You said, baby talking her.

“So, hey. I have a question for you.” Beth said shyly.

Finally able to get up, you walked the rest of the way to your apartment, unlocking it.

“Come on in! We can talk in here.”

Maggie ran into your apartment, jumping onto your couch as you and Beth walked in.

“Make yourself at home, Maggie!” You said sarcastically.

“Maggie, down! Off the couch.”

“Beth, she’s fine. Relax.” You said with a smile.

“She knows better.”

“Coffee?” You asked.

“I’d love some!” Beth said enthusiastically. 

After you made the coffee, you and Beth sat down on your couch, watching her smell it and sigh with content.

“So, what did you want to ask me?” You prompt.

“I hope this isn’t weird and we don’t know each other super well, but I was hoping to ask if you wouldn’t mind watching Maggie for a few days to a week? I’m going away with my family and I’m worried about taking her on a plane.

“Hmm… let’s ask Maggie.”

Turning to the dog, you say, “What do you think, Maggie? Would you want to stay here for a little bit?”

Her ears perked up, her head cocking to the side before she leapt on you and kissed you.

“I’ll take that as a yes!”

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I’ll pay you, of course.”

“I’d watch her for free anytime, Beth. You don’t need to pay me. When are you leaving?”

“The day after tomorrow. I’ll bring enough food for her and all of her toys.”

Maggie turned to the balcony window, suddenly growling with her teeth bared.

“Maggie, what is it?” Beth asked, looking around.

Your heart skipped a beat, worried.

She looked to you as you held a wide eyed stare. 

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

Blinking rapidly a few times, you turned your gaze back to her. 

“Yeah. I may or may not have cracked a notebook against the desk clerk’s head today when he was being creepy. He told me to watch my back. I’m hoping it was just a heat of the moment threat, but he kind looks like the type to end up on a sex offender’s list.”

Beth visibly shivered and acted like she was going to throw up.

“Oh my God, I know right? I don’t know how he’s even still working here.”

Truth be told, you were partially worried about the desk clerk and more worried about the direction Maggie had turned. You had just read in the paper that he was arrested. Why would she be looking out the balcony window and growling? Maggie turned back to you then, her sweet, panting face a relief. She whined softly and put her head on your lap, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes.

“You know it’s weird. She did that the other night too. Didn’t you have a break-in or something?”

Hiding your face in your hands, you said, “Oh my God, you heard about that?”

“I think the whole hotel did.”

“Great.” You said, dragging your fingers down your face, embarrassed. 

“We saw all the cop cars out front and a couple FBI agents. Why would they be here?”

“They’re just on edge with the whole Michael Morbius vampire murder nonsense. Being extra careful I guess. It wasn’t a break-in. I broke my balcony window trying to kill a rat. $3000 down the drain.”

She started to laugh hysterically. When she calmed down, she turned dreamy eyes to you, head leaning against her hands.

“Dr. Michael Morbius. He’s a whole lot of yummy, huh? He has the prettiest eyes.”

You looked down and smiled softly. “He does and he’s wicked smart too.”

“Y/N’s got a crush. Y/N’s got a crush.” Beth singsonged.

“Shut up, I do not.” You said laughing, throwing a pillow at her face. 

“Welp, me and Maggie best be off.” Beth said, standing up. “We’ll be over around 2 or 3 in a couple days to drop everything off. I really appreciate you watching her. Will you be home then?

“Of course! Anytime! Yes I will be here. My job is allowing me to go remote, thank goodness.” Turning to Maggie, you said, “Bye, Maggie. I’ll see you soon!”

Maggie licked you in the face a few times before turning to leave with Beth. After they had gone, you stared off into your apartment, rubbing your fingers on your thumb before jumping up to check the balcony area. 

You didn’t see anything at first then caught sight of something on the handle. Opening the door slowly, you saw a f/c paper crane. Your eyes widened as you scanned the skyline, wondering if he was still hanging around.

“Here… he was here…” You said softly, picking up the crane.

Taking one last look at the skyline, you closed the door and shut the curtains.

Tags:

@lex-the-flex

@nekoannie-chan