#ugh and this german guy i knew

[skitskatdacat63]

This is very random but. I think a lot about the name of my oc Rüß. It was originally just a stand-in name and was spelled "Russ." But I didn't want people to pronounce it "Ruh-ss" so I changed it to "Ruß" and then to "Rüß" bcs that's the way to pronounce it but it was also fun to use special characters. But then ended up at the same place I started: some people still won't know how to pronounce her name bcs the ü and ß 😭 I think my one friend called her "Rub" in her head for a while. But it is now eternally her name and I don't call her by her full name :)

[ded-lime]

[scoonsalicious]

Unsatisfied, Pt. 1

Pairing: Bucky x Avenger!Fem!Reader

Summary: Following the epilogue to Unwanted, you and Bucky finally have your first night together in your new apartment. You haven't had sex with him in an entire year. You are feeling... unsatisfied.

Warnings: Language, adult themes, mentions of past trauma, Pocket has a panic attack, she is not as okay as I thought, Cards Against Humanity, Bucky making dirty promises I fully intend for him to keep.

Word Count: 2k

A/N: My goal tonight was to work on WFLT. I had good intentions, I swear. But, I can't get Bucky and Pocket out of my mind. THEN, this was supposed to be smut. Pure, filthy smut. WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED?!

You loved your found family, you really did. Or, at least that’s what you kept reminding yourself as you actively tried to convince yourself not to kill them right this second.

You made eye contact with Bucky from where he sat on the loveseat across the living room from you, looking about as sexually frustrated as you felt. You ran a finger delicately along your collarbone as you watched him adjust himself in his seat, and as he ran his tongue over his bottom lip, you–

“Hey, Kiddo,” Tony Stark called your attention to where he sat to the left of you. “Pick a Black Card. It’s your turn.”

Reluctantly, you drew your eyes away from your ridiculously attractive boyfriend and up to your psuedo-brother, former boss, who thought it had been a fantastic idea to have your entire team show up with pizzas to your brand new apartment, on your very first night there with Bucky, in order to play fucking Cards Against Humanity as a “morale-boosting exercise.” 

Cock-blocking exercise was more like it. 

You shot Tony a glare and reached across the coffee table to draw a card. Looking at it, you rolled your eyes in frustration before placing it face-up in front of you. “What gets me wet?” you read aloud from the card.

You were met with a room full of snickering as your teammates thumbed through their hands, searching for the best card to give to you. Bucky threw down a card almost immediately, catching your eye as he did so and winking at you. God, you needed everyone to leave so you could climb that man like a tree. 

One by one, your team deposited their White Cards into a pile in front of you, and once everyone had played their hand, you picked them up, shuffling them around so you wouldn’t know who had put down what card. 

You turned each over and read it aloud, asking each time: “What gets me wet?”

“Being a mother fucking sorcerer; Vehicular manslaughter; German Dungeon Porn; My fuckslave, Regianald; Auschwitz– ew; come on guys, really?-- My vagina– okay, actually factual– Dick Fingers; A juicy little booty that goes poot poot pooty; The Biggest, Blackest Dick– hilarious, Sam…”

“What?! You can’t know that’s mine, Baby Girl!” You shot Sam a knowing look. “Yeah, okay, it’s mine, but come on– it’s a good one!” he said with a laugh.

And then, there it was, the winner. You looked up and locked eyes with Bucky, who was smirking back at you with a wicked glint in his eye, and you knew instantly it was his card you were holding in your hand. 

Flipping the card over, you read out loud with a giant smile on your face: “What gets me wet? Genetically engineered super soldiers.” Everyone around the coffee table groaned, knowing that there was no way any of their cards would have topped that. Not for you, anyway.

With a grin, Bucky reached over and took the Black Card, adding it to the pile of his wins in front of him. 

“Ugh, no fair!” Nat pouted, gently tossing her hand of cards on the top of the coffee table. 

“You gotta play to your audience, Nat,” Bucky said, spreading his legs as he leaned back on the love seat. “Can’t help it if I know what my girl likes.”

“Yeah, well, I think you’re cheating,” Sam said. His words were meant to be playful, a sore-loser’s teasing lament, but you couldn’t help the rush of heartache those little syllables sent through your system, and your body froze. 

It had been almost a year, you thought to yourself as you tried to breathe through your increasing anxiety without attracting unnecessary attention. A year of therapy and rebuilding trust. You were meant to be over this.

But clearly you weren’t. 

“Excuse me,” you blurted out as you stood up, not bothering to offer an excuse for your rudeness or sudden departure. Trying to keep your breathing steady, you nearly sprinted out of the room and up the stairs until you were shutting the door of the ensuite bath in yours and Bucky’s master bedroom. The room you hadn’t even shared together yet, and now, on your first night in your new home, when you should be celebrating, becoming reacquainted with one another’s bodies, it would be permeated with thoughts of her.

You slid down the door to the cold tile floor, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you tried to shake the memories from your mind’s eye. But they, and your tears, began to fall in earnest. Despite what you knew to be true– that Bucky loved you, had only ever loved you, your mind kept bringing you back to the events of last year– of all the times he abandoned you for her, left you alone when she needed him. The things he had said to you while he was inside of you because she had told him she liked it. The sight of her riding his dick in a derelict safehouse in Russia. Your bones snapping and a bullet ripping through your flesh.

You couldn’t breathe. God, why couldn’t you breathe?

You shoved your fist into your mouth, trying to muffle the sound of your sobs. You were supposed to be over this, you kept reminding yourself. You were supposed to have forgiven him. But the memories brought about a visceral reaction you hadn’t experienced in months. Today had been meant to be a new beginning for the both of you, a fresh start. Something better, you had promised each other.

Why did it still hurt so much? 

You weren’t sure how much time had passed. You could have been hyperventilating on the bathroom floor for minutes or hours; you couldn’t tell, when a soft knock reverberated through the surface of the door.

“Sweetheart?” Bucky’s voice was muffled through the wood. “Doll, I can hear you crying. Let me in.” His words were soft, understanding, sorrowful. He knew.

You couldn’t move. You wanted to open the door, to lose yourself in his embrace so badly, but you couldn’t control your body enough to coordinate movement. All you could do was hug yourself as you sobbed.

“Pocket,” you heard Bucky murmur through the door. “Baby, I need you to breathe for me, ok? Your gonna make yourself pass out. Just… just unlock the door, alright? That’s all you have to do for me, sweets. Just unlock the door.”

Unlock the door. You could do that. One, simple motion. You slowly lifted a trembling hand above your head, connecting with the doorknob by sense of touch, alone. With shaking fingers, you managed to disengage the lock.

At the sound of the click, you heard Bucky exhale in relief. “Okay. Good girl. I’m gonna come in now, okay, sweets?” You knew you should move– you were still curled up in front of the door, but you couldn’t get your body to cooperate. You tried to speak, but the only sound that came from your throat was another agonizing sob.

You heard the knob turn and the door begin to press against you. With gentle but steady pressure, Bucky opened the door, sliding your body across the bathroom tile in the process, but you barely noticed. He would always be a force that had the ability to move you at his will.

When there was enough space for him to fit his body through the door frame, Bucky squeezed himself in and turned to look behind the door, searching for you.

“Oh, sweetheart,” he said, dropping down to his knees to join you on the tile. In an instant, he had you in his arms, picking you up and cradling you to his chest. 

“I-I-I’m…” you stuttered, trying to form words through your sobs, “s–s–so s-s-sorry.”

Bucky tutted as he stroked your hair. “No, sweets, no. I’m the one who’s sorry.” He kissed the top of your head, and you found that your breathing began to steady in his presence. “My actions keep causing you pain.”

You shook your head vehemently, clutching to the fabric of his shirt as if your very life depended on it. “No,” you whispered. “It’s not… It’s not you.” You closed your eyes, trying to mold your jumbled emotions into a cohesive thought. “This place is supposed to be safe,” you told him, hoping he would follow what you were trying to say. “Ours. And then… when Sam said… that… it was… it was like her ghost walked right in the door. She’s still haunting me, Buck.”

You felt his arms tighten around you. “Sweetheart,” he murmured into your hair, “what do you need? What can I do?”

You wiped at your eyes and looked up at him with a tear-streaked face. “Tell me you love me, Bucky.”

His piercing blue gaze was honest and sincere as he looked down at you. “I love you, Pocket. I have only, ever, loved you.” No questions, no ridiculing your request for reassurance– just pure understanding that this was what you needed from him

You felt yourself exhale, the tension that had been wracking through you ebbing away as you looked into his eyes. “I love you, Buck,” you whispered back. “I’m sorry– I thought… I thought I was better.”

His face was soft as he looked at you. “Doll, you are getting better. It’s a process. We’re a process. And we work on us, together.”

You snorted in spite of yourself as you wiped your nose. “How the fuck did you get so goddamn wise?” you asked him. “It’s mildly annoying.”

“Ah, there’s that dirty mouth I love so much,” he smirked at you. “Come on.” With a gracefulness that belied his massive size, he lifted you up and carried you back into the bedroom, gently placing you on your new bed.

“Oh, shit!” you said, trying to stand up. “Everyone’s still downstairs–”

“I kicked them out as soon as you left the living room,” he told you, coming to kneel before you as he pulled you back down. “Serves them right for interrupting our first night living together when we haven’t touched each other in eight thousand, seven hundred and forty three hours.”

You widened your eyes. “Not that your counting, or anything,” you said with a giggle, and were rewarded when Bucky smirked up at you.

“There’s my girl,” he said, stroking your cheek. “I know we had big plans for tonight,” he said as he rested his vibranium hand on your knee. “And trust me when I tell you, there is nothing I want more than to strip you naked and take you apart on every single surface of this apartment until you can’t remember your own name.” You gulped at that. “But,” he continued, “all that can wait. Tonight, I’m gonna go back into that bathroom, light some candles, and run us a bubble bath. Then, you and I are going to get in that tub and I’m just gonna hold you, okay?” You found yourself nodding dumbly at the sensual promise.

Bucky leaned in close to you, tucking a strand of hair away from your face and behind your ear. “Tonight,” he reiterated, “I just want us to be close. And then tomorrow?” He leaned in to whisper seductively into your ear. “First thing tomorrow, I’m going to fucking ruin you.”

Part 2 ->

[akane171]

­­­Things about Ron Speirs that live rent free in my head

-“SPEIRS, GET YOURSELF OVER HERE!”

I don’t know what I like most about this scene. The fact Dick just furiously passed Sink and ignored his commander, because his boys were getting screwed? Speirs running to him and then without a single word sprinting to do the job? Or Nixon with his binoculars liveblogging the whole  battle? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

-The change in his voice and intonation between “I’m taking over” and “First Sergeant Lipton!”.

-The church scene, when Lipton says Easy men didn’t care about the gossips… It was HILARIOUS. Like, Lip? Sweetheart? Ron scared the shit out of Christenson and some poor innocent kids in the same damned ep. I could hear Pat’s sobbing in the background during that scene, mixed with the nuns’ chorus.

-A man needs a hobby and his was trolling people. Aside of the whole “did he or did he not shot the prisoners”, he enjoyed the gossips, appearing suddenly out of nowhere, while giving creepy speeches and traumatizing people. And he did it fabulously. Legend.

-His little, millisecond pause, when we watch his back while Lipton says “Well, maybe they keep talking about it because they never heard Tercius deny it”.

-And two things about this scene. Lipton knows Speirs was trolling people and it was amusing him. And Ron’s answer “Well, maybe that’s because Tercius knew there was some value to the men thinking he was the meanest, toughest sonofabitch in the whole Roman legion” - he knows Lip knows he was trolling people and (not directly) admits it. He never did that to anyone else, what also means he really respected Lipton (gross sobbing).

-Anyway, this whole church scene is a pure love and I adore every second of it.

-He was a history nerd ;_; I’m kind of sad, we didn’t see him and Buck taking about some ancient battles in Gaul.

-He kept tabs on Easy xD how much he’s learnt from creeping in the shadows and eavesdropping – no one knows xD

-The fact real Speirs was shot in the ass on some of his solo patrols proves he was just meant to be Easy’s CO. Fucking destiny.

-His favourite sergeant was Grant (ok, ok, put the pitchforks DOWN, I said sergeant NOT lieutenant, geez).

-The fact no one called him “Sparky” in the show is a crime against humanity. But at least we got one “Ron” from Winters. Still…

-I think I read somewhere here, that he wore his helmet so low, because it was too big and… yes? Absolutely? Whoever noticed it – I bow to you.

And it reminds me all the promo pics where we have most of the characters standing together and he stands on the side, a little farer and looking awkwardly like “mom said I have to socialize more, so here I am, ugh…”.

-Also, he looks tiny compared to the other guys on many shots/pics, what is hilarious on many levels.

-I realized it after the second watch, that he not only stole cigarettes from Buck, but he offered them to the German POWs. Not his cigarettes, but the shit he stole. I don’t know why, but it’s just so super HIM xD

-I wonder when exactly Easy Company did realize that their new CO is not exactly the meanest, toughest sonofabitch in the army, but a big ass weirdo, with poor social skills, suspicious hobbies and sticky hands.

-Ep 8 look >>>>>>>>>>>>> everything else.

-The moment when Webster throws himself to the ground and Ron just stands in the background, watching the missile like it was meh (he had a personal ranking of “Things that almost killed me” and that missile was not even on the Top 10).

-“No. You don’t have any experience.” How the fuck Jones didn’t drop dead right after is beyond me. Also, A+++ acting.

-The fact is that Lipton was his social-skills-only-working-brain-cell and it’s beautiful.

-The moment Perconte asked him to give him back his lighter, I guess it was the moment Speirs knew his reputation crumbled to dust xD

-Unpopular opinion, but I don’t think Malarkey scared him on a purpose. I think it was accidentally, what for me, makes it even funnier. But the fact Don started as someone who was scared of Speirs like no one else and ended scarring him – it just warms my heart.

-And that pure annoyance on Ron’s face when Malarkey’s approaches him a second after he scared him, will never stop making me laugh. It the look could kill the bottle in Don’s hands would explode.

-On some point Lipton was sitting with his head in his hands and moaning that he was not paid enough to keep his crazy CO with suicidal tendencies alive and Luz was there-thereing him.

-All the things he's done to keep Grant alive.

-Basically, Speirs gives me a stray cat vibes and the fact he kind of, adopted Lipton and whole Easy proves it.

-And finally, the way he went from “we are all dead, just accept it” to “ok, I guess I’m going to stay in the army to keep the idiots alive (sighs)” is one of the best character developments and is so… sooo … you know? ;_;

Anyway, the thing I like the most about his character is how unexpected he is. I didn’t expect to like him so much. I didn’t expect him to change so much in such splendid way. But here I am.

We meet him in the show as  “a cold blooded soldier” stereotype and we learn in the end he was just deeply compassionate man (and a weirdo), who applied being a sociopath to be a better man of war. It just makes him very human - thanks to the fact his character was based on a real man, I guess. And that applies to all BOB’s characters.

And BIG kudos to Matthew Settle for doing such a great job and creating an iconic character. I read and watched some interviews, where he admitted he had a big problems with grasping the role, but damn, in the end he absolutely NAILED IT.

EDIT: Part II (x)

[fr3akingtf0utrn]

Trans Spidey reader where the reader is really into Miguel’s fangs and talons and everyone at HQ knows but Miguel (basically just sexual tension between oblivious people)

Miguel O’Hara x FTM!! Reader

Warnings: slight nsfw, def some hard tension, swearing, we stan cat claw Miguel. And remember I am German.. so poorly translated Spanish

I didn’t put a lot of detail in that reader is trans, but I feel that it’s still reassuring to know this fic has a trans reader :)) knowing that it’s about him but sorry!!

———————————————————————

“Yo, where’s your head at, mate?” Hobie hits your shoulder getting your attention. You blink from zoning out and uncross your arms.

“Uh just zoning my bad,” you say while boosting yourself back on your hands on the ledge, shoulders near your ears.

It was around lunch time at the HQ and you and Hobie were sitting on one of the ledges in the main lobby where you walk in. It was actually pretty quite since everyone is in the cafeteria, only some passing by.

“Are ye still thinking bout him, bro?” Hobie scoffs but chuckles at the same time. You roll your eyes, “kinda but it’s something else about him..” you ponder off.

Hobie rolls his eyes, “what? how he got like monster like features?” You go quiet and your eyes go wide.

“NAH MATE-!” He pushes you and fake gags. You cover your face and stand yourself up and start walking.

“Dude, I knew you liked em’ but not like that!” Hobie follows you as you guys hop down to the bridge, but you stop and he trips over you.

“wait,” you slowly turn around to him, “is it that obvious?” You frown up at him, waiting for his response.

“Yes! Bruv, you stare at him 24/7! And when you do it’s like your eyes turn to heart eyes.” He says and you groan throwing your head back while covering your face once again out of embarrassment.

“What about him interest you??” Hobie asks and you groan once again. “It’s too embarrassing,” you words slur from your hands.

He places his hand on your shoulder while walking around you. “I promise you it can’t be that bad,” hobie says and you move your hands giving him a look.

He raises his eyebrows, you look down. “His fangs and claws..” you mumble. “Huh,” hobie’s eyebrows furrow.

“His fangs and claws! Have you seen them! God I can’t there just so, ugh,” you throw your arms up.

Hobie stares wide eyed and mouth open, “lord, are you sure that’s the only thing?”

“We’ll obviously not, he’s so sweet when we’re alone. And he helps me a lot with certain things,” you say and comb your hair with your fingers.

“what kind of certain things??” Hobie smirks.

You side eye him, “your impossible to talk to.”

“If you think about it, it’s like monster fucking,” hobie says nonchalantly. You eyes went wide and jaw dropped. “You’re fucking disgusting,” you push and kick at Hobie and he stumbles.

You turn around and walk away. “Where are you going, dude?!” Hobie calls out to you. “To blow off steam!” You yell back and swing away.

“I would go find Miguel for that then, mate!” He laughs and sees you fumble a bit while swinging.

——

Your eyes barely left Miguel’s body the entire time. The thing was, you were barley listening to Miguel ramble.

He usually tended to do that when you guys were alone.

No matter what he does, he was just perfect. The way his hips swayed without realizing, giving sassy looks at others, which you found funny and cute. God, you wondered if he really did even know you liked him, you were obvious.

You were leaned against his desk, arms crossed and zoned out.

I wonder what triggers them..

how does he control them too?

most of all, I wonder how they feel…

Miguel turned towards you, “you get what I mean?” He suddenly asked.

You jumped, “uhm yeah sure.” Your head was still crowed.

He raised his eyebrow at you, “ why are you always out of it, cariño? You’ve been like this a couple days,” he asked you as he walked over to where you were.

You cleared your throat and boosted yourself up on the desk, “yeah, I’ve just been thinking..about- things?”

“Is that a question or statement?” Miguel’s eyes were on you, watching your body tense from his stare.

Miguel was utterly oblivious as well when it came to liking someone. Never noticed until someone points it out or if he gets jealous.

And, you had no idea he was literally obsessed with you. Jess had to smack the fuck out him to get his shit together and ask you out.

You let out a nervous chuckle and adjusted the neck of your suit. Miguel huffs and walks over to you. Your head was looking down at the ground, not noticing how the distance started closing until you saw big hands go on either side of your hips.

Miguel bad you trapped between his arms, his hips between your legs.

“Tell me,” he demanded. “huh,” you barely had words, ‘does this man not know notice what he’s doing?’

“Tell me what’s wrong so I can make you focus or feel better,” Miguel repeated. You bite the inside of your cheek, “okay..” you move yourself so you can reach for Miguel’s hand.

Miguel furrows his eyebrows, but continues watching, not wanting to stop you.

You grab it, admiring the pretty veins before pressing down in the middle of his palm, causing the talons to shoot out. You gasp and grin slightly.

Miguel raises his eyebrows, since he just takes his claw out on command, he didn’t know that was a way they could also show.

Your fingers graze his talons, loving the sharp edges. Miguel stares, eyes lidded looking at your mesmerized face. Suddenly, you gently drop his hand and reach up for Miguel’s face.

His eyes widen and he’s pushed up against you, your hands on his jaw.

“sorry, can I please just..?” you ask gently and Miguel nods like his hypnotized by you.

Your thumb traces his cheekbone while the other grazes his lips. Miguel’s body felt like it was on fire, being pushed up against you while your hands on him.

If you weren’t so oblivious and mesmerized by him right now, you would of felt the bulge creeping up against you, including the heat between your legs.

You lift Miguel’s upper lip, “can you show me them..please,” you ask noticing his fangs aren’t showing.

Miguel once again nods and opens his mouth, a soft sharp sound was heard and they appeared.

Your eyes shined with amazement and a slight grin. Your thumb stayed in his upper lip to get better angles of them.

Without noticing, you leaned closer and your thighs squeezed against Miguel’s hips. Miguel’s breath hitched when he felt you. His eyes swirled with red lust watching over you.

He felt special that you were so entranced by him, all your attention on him in this moment.

“..so sharp, Miguel,” you said under your breath and he felt his eyes go lidded as your other hand went to hold his hip to pull him even closer if that was possible.

You moaned as your thumb got a slight cut from his fangs, blood immediately oozing out. Miguel’s eyes widening, “..can I?” He asked.

You nodded and placed your hand that was on his face, onto his hips now. Miguel looked into your eyes as he stuck the tip of his tongue out and kitten licked the blood.

He leaned forward and placed one of his hands on your thigh, squeezing slightly with his claws.

Miguel wrapped his perfect lips around your thumb and sucked slightly, you feeling him suck the blood out. You watched with your mouth slightly open, and shifted your hips in the counter, accident brushing against him.

He grunted and released your thumb with a pop, his tongue still sticking out his mouth as he let you go.

Miguel’s claws dug into your thigh and slightly ran your hands up his body, loving how your hands fit on his snap waist.

Your hands made it to his biceps and then to his shoulders.

Miguel seemed breathless as your hands traced him, him staring into your own lidded eyes.

Your eyes flickered down to his plump brown lips, seeing the blood that dried slightly on them. You licked your own and you both leaned in slowly,

As soon as you felt his breath on you, a loud accent was heard.

“OI MIGUEL!! Can I steal Y/n?? I need him for something- oh..” Hobie stopped immediately in his tracks when he tilted his head up and saw you two connected by the hips.

Both of your heads snapped to him, staring wide eyed.

Hobie quickly turned around on his boot, he shoved his hands in his pockets, “I’ll just tell him later if guess! SORRY MATES!” Hobie yelled.

As soon as hobie was at the door he yelled, “make sure to use those fangs in bed on him, Miguel!”

“GET OUT,”

The sight was something, but that something was something that Hobie wish he didn’t see.

[sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee]

silly hc idea for the riddlers. What do you think it'd be like if the riddlers who have voice actors/actors met their actors? Do you think they'd be appreciative? Freaked out?

Riddlers meet their actors

Short and sweet but this is way too cute

Tw: fourth wall breaking, meta, unreality/dpdr, surveillance

Gotham

- Considering the canon (that I ignore mostly because it's done so poorly) that hes got a split personality he's talked to, it probably wouldn't go well? Lots of animosity. Like a dog growling at its reflection.

- IGNORING THAT THOUGH. He'd start quizzing him and giving him riddles since this is obviously a fake. A trick someone is playing on him.

- if he found out it was real, he'd be super apologetic and calling him Mr.

- oh god does that mean there's actors for penguin and zsasz as well? They must be more pleasant than the on screen counterparts, at least.

60s

- Between Edward's riddles and puns and Mr. Gorshins stand up, the crime fighting duo is going to be seeing double! But this isn't about them.

- given this riddler is kind of a cinemaphile, there would be so many acting questions. Favorite movie? Who is the most famous person he's worked with (besides him, obviously)? He's quite good at acting and impressions himself, as Frank Gorshin would already know.

Zero year

- Get fucked, Edward, you have no VA or actor. That will however not stop him from harassing the writer and artist. His plan was failproof! How did this GUY beat him? And he can't just read who Batman is because then it'll be like he couldn't figure it out on his own. Ugh!

- He is going to red marker a copy of Zero Year showing every unflattering panel. See that expression where it looks like he has a double chin? That has to go, fellas!

- He tells them to do a better job next time. Because there WILL be a next time. He's simply the best riddler there could be! And no, not with the mohawk, get that out of here.

BTAS

- Civilized conversation after a brief "How strange, you can imitate me- OH-" Well, perhaps you should have pushed for more riddler episodes. His brilliant mind should be on display after all!

- sorry its been...... its been how many years since the show has been on...? Of COURSE he knew that. It was just a surprise hearing it. Right now.

- well. Other than that, he's going to ask about the family, his husband, as is only polite. Then about the other voices. Working with them and-

- sorry, joker is luke skywalker?

Telltale

- It should only make sense that his voice actor should be so skilled with a long variety of credits. Perhaps he has this skill as well and he didn't even realize it!

- German is a surprising accent he didn't know he could do. That will definitely come into play at a later date if he needs to hide his voice.

Arkham

- He can't handle this. The realization he's just pixels in programming- He's so much GRANDER than this! Yes, yes, you've done a great job, whatever, he has much more concerning things to deal with. He'll spare you, Wally, simply because without you his voice wouldn't be.

- this ultimately turns into him becoming the nastiest virus that figures out how to spread to any device that can access wifi. In this new world, there's nothing he can't see or control...

2022

- honestly I think he'd be terrified. Who is this well-adjusted man with his face? He's an ACTOR? People pay to see this face? His worthless, disgusting-

- wait he has fans?

- it all goes downhill from there. Abduction, probably like when Joker abducted Mark Hamil in that one special.

- He will flip when he finds out Paul Dano wrote his origin comics. Someone who knows him so well better than ANYONE else on this wretched world.

[lunarspiral1127]

X-Men 97 episode 5 *SPOILERS*

The interviews

The reporter seemed nice and doesn't act like a typical controversial one. And, seeing Beast blush was adorable. But, Scott's interview was a doozy. What he said when he lashed out, well....he ain't wrong. I just thought Magneto would be the one to say those things, not Scott. Still, not wrong.

Jean/Scott/Madelyn/Logan drama

UGH! I hate love triangles that bring out so much stress and drama. And, I'm worried that Jean and Scott will break up because of the crap Mr. Sinister pulled. I wasn't expecting Jean to kiss Logan, and it was HIM who told her to go talk to Scott. Despite his feelings, he's still trying to be respectful to their relationship. But, seriously, Jean, why did you kiss him?!

Then apparently, Scott and Madelyn were checking up on each other telepathically, which I get why Jean would be mad at that. But, Madelyn during her time at the mansion WAS Jean and Scott thought that was her! They're the same! At least they were? Then again, they're in contact for a month and Jean kissed Logan once....UGH! I hate this drama. SINISTER THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!

Genosha

Beautiful. It was a paradise for mutants. They deserve this. The gala looked pretty, I liked the statues of Charles and Magneto, I was not expecting the Hellfire Club to be a part of this council cause I don't trust them (especially the crap they pulled in the previous show). Lots of cameos from other characters that I couldn't keep track on, but the place was lovely. It's a shame though on what happened later on....

Nightcrawler

This lovely, precious German Christian man. 🥰 I love Nightcrawler and I'm glad to see him in this show. The original voice actor who played him in the previous show still does a great job voicing him. And, he approves of Gambit and Rogue (adopted sister) being together, so that's extra bonus points. He got a new look compared to his previous one, but I still like it. Then when the massacre happened, I was so worried that he was gonna die. Thank goodness he survived, but I hate seeing him so hurt.

Gambit/Rogue/Magneto drama

I hate this love triangle SO MUCH! We get an explanation on how Rogue and Magneto got together, and I'm questioning how old she was when they first met and whether Magneto was influencing her in a bad way. Either way, still don't like this ship. Even when them dancing looked good animated, I STILL don't like it. Plus, it still doesn't make sense cause they've been against each other in the previous show, where there was no signs of the two having that past relationship.

Anyway, I'm glad Rogue finally told Gambit the truth, and I feel so bad for him. But, he knew what she wanted and how much it hurt, even going as far as to distance himself, which he showed a lot of emotional maturity, so respect to that. But, that thing where he'll lead Genosha if Rogue stays as his "queen"? DA FUQ?! Look, I like Magneto, but I did not like that. Still wish Rogue could've gotten one of those collars to nullify her powers so that she can touch Gambit. Would've solved a lot of drama, just saying.

I was SO relieved though, that Rogue said that he was right, and rejected Magneto, but I wish she could've done that without kissing him right where Gambit can see it. Either way, it seemed like she'll choose Gambit and not stay with Magneto in Genosha, THANK GOD!

So, you think this would be the end of that love triangle right? Well, yes and no? Cause what happened afterwards hurt like hell.

Genosha Massacre

So, a giant Master Mold thing showed up, killing mutants and destroying Genosha. It was cool seeing Cable again trying to stop it and seeing his mom after so long, which is a glimmer of hope but I'll get to that later. So, many people died. Sebastian Shaw, Calypso, Banshee, Marrow, pretty sure that was Dazzler or Moira not sure, and three more that hurt me so much.

Magneto. Okay, I may not like that love triangle, but I didn't hate the guy. Dude was fighting that Sentinel with a train as a whip, that was pretty cool. And, he tried to protect the Molocks. He tried to protect Leech! He got Rogue and Gambit out of the way. What hurt the most was he told Leech not to be afraid IN GERMAN! Again, didn't want him to die. Although, I wished he could've used his magnetism to push the Molocks away like he did with Rogue and Gambit, but nope. They all died!

Leech. Precious innocent Leech. He was just a kid, man! And, he got to hang out with other mutants his age. He was making friends. Only for this to happen. And, not a lot of people talk about Leech and what happened to him. But, I liked him, and that hurt.

And, finally, the one that hurt the most.....Gambit.....Remy.

He went out like a hero. He sacrificed himself to destroy that Sentinel from killing even more mutants. "The name's Gambit, mon ami. Remember it." Well, now we know why this episode is called Remember It, cause it was Gambit's last words. And, if that wasn't enough, Rogue holding onto him, crying over his body, finally able to touch him....only to not feel him.

THAT. FREAKING. HURT. SO. BAD!!! 😭 Gambit was one of my favorite X-Men characters, and I legit was crying seeing that end. It really hurt to see that happen to him, but at least he went out saving people. However! There is that slight glimmer of hope! Cable. He tried to go back to stop this, who's to say he won't try again? Time travel shenanigans will happen and he can team up with Bishop and the rest of the X-Men to prevent this from happening. It happened many times before, it can happen here. And, maybe, just maybe, Gambit, Leech, Magneto, and all those people won't have to die. This may the denial talking, but I'll be so pissed if Gambit's dead and he Rogue won't be together for good anymore, cause that would be bullcrap.

God, how am I gonna be okay when we're getting Storm and Forge vs. The Adversary next week?! And, jeez, if things keep up like this, Storm is gonna return to the whole mansion on fire. I can't imagine what her and everyone's reactions are gonna be when they find out about Gambit and even Magneto.

Anyway, good episode. Much better than last week's. Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go find a way to cope from all of that.

[zooophagous]

Strauss sat slightly curled in the passenger’s seat of the dirty pick up. He was very pointedly staring out the window, away from the driver, watching the reflective markers by the road fly past in a yellow blur like shooting stars. Sylvain was grinning, seemingly at nothing. She wasn’t apparently concerned with Strauss’ refusal to look at her. She was too busy. Too busy haphazardly steering with one hand while fucking with the radio with the other.

“Ugh, country music. I can’t stand this twangy shit. How about you? You got a preference?” She craned her head to look at his tee-shirt, which bore the band emblem of The Rolling Stones. 

“Classic rock fan? We can do that. You at least have good taste, Lu.”

“Where are we going?” He asked without turning his head. 

“Like I said, we’re gonna have a little fun. Seems like something you’re out of practice on.”

“I am concerned that your idea of fun will not mesh with mine.” 

“Oh come off it. I do have other interests beyond tormenting mortals you know.” She rolled her eyes. “You aren’t still MAD at me, are you?”

“You tried to kill a friend of mine and in saving him I managed to shatter my femur and be confined to bed rest.” Strauss replied flatly. “I loathe bed rest.”

“Come on. That was weeks ago!” Sylvain protested in a mock whiny voice. “You were barely on bed rest for two weeks, if that, I’m sure. I know you didn’t take long to heal. A drop in the bucket, for someone as long lived as you. Practically a minor inconvenience.”

“It is less minor for Mr. Samuel, who nearly lost his life.”

“Look, I had no idea he was as gung ho about dying as he was, ok?” She huffed. “Fine. You win. I’m sorry I almost killed Mr. Samuel by using my advanced powers of psychic suggestion to convince him to commit suicide. That’s as much of an apology as you’re going to get. Now will you try and look at me when I’m talking?”

Strauss inhaled deeply, and did as she asked, finally forcing himself to look at her. She felt so much larger than him, even though the opposite was true. She was nearly too short to reach the pedals of the obnoxiously large truck. Her claw rested casually on the steering wheel, the other tapped along in time to the music on the car door out the open window. 

He harbored a multitude of regrets. This was supposed to be an expedition in information gathering. Doing so would be nigh impossible if he couldn’t look at her, much less talk to her. 

“Forgive me. I am being rude. It is just… very new and strange for me, to be in the presence of another immortal like this. I am used to it being a bit more combative. It is not as if our previous meetings have been enjoyable.”

“Oh, I don’t know. I enjoyed them just fine. But! Apology accepted, Lu. We may as well start fresh and make nice. We have more in common than not, I’m sure.”

“Beyond both of us being dead, you mean?”

“Both of us being captives- excuse me, FORMER captives of the Van Helsings? Both of us being occult researchers?”

“How about both of us being wanted murderers?”

“Speak for yourself, Lu. You’re the one with the record. I’ve been keeping my claws clean.” 

“Is that because you’ve been good, or because you know how to avoid detection?”

“You’re so clever, Lu. Funny guy. I knew there was a reason I liked you.”

“Like me, do you?” He raised an eyebrow. “I heard quite the opposite. I was told you had a hit list of vampires to dispose of, and my name was on it.”

“Told you about that, did they? Color me impressed. They must like you, if they’re that honest with you. No hard feelings about it Lu. I can call you Lu, right? Anyway, believe it or not, I didn’t actually want to ‘dispose’ of you.”

“No?”

“Nope. You were my thesis project for graduation. Harmless little old German man. When they told me your number was up, I was actually sad about it. Sad to see you slip up, you know? That’s why I put you at the bottom of the hit list.” 

“How touching.”

“As far as I could tell, the victim in the killing that got you your murder record had it coming. But then, you did go on to kill again after that, didn’t you?”

“In self defense, yes. A Mr. Elliot Lane. Was he a colleague of yours?”

“At one point, yeah. He was a moron. Always felt like he had to prove himself. Be better than everyone else. He was a trophy hunter. It’s funny, I always knew he’d die at work. I just didn’t think I’d ever be buddy-buddy with the monster that took him down.”

“Both of those statements are false. I am not a monster, and we are not buddies.”

“Aww, don’t hurt my feelings now Lu. After all the effort I’m putting in to give you a night on the town?”

“You still have not told me where we are going.” 

“Well, I know enough about you to know you’re a biologist at heart. I also know enough about the Van Helsing Institute to know your mind is going to complete waste there. I said we’d have fun, and I meant it. Consider this a peace offering, yeah? You’ll like this place.”

“What is it?”

“We’re going to the zoo.”

“The zoo?” Strauss raised his eyebrows and turned to finally face her directly. “The zoological gardens where they keep wild animals?”

“That’s the one.”

“Why?”

“Two reasons. First, because I know you’ve never seen one and it’s pertinent to your interests. Second, because they have a petting zoo with goats, and I don’t want you to get peckish.”

She grinned evilly. Strauss grunted in reply. At least she wasn’t expecting him to join her in hunting humans just yet. “This facility is surely not open after midnight.”

“Doesn’t need to be. We can get in and out easy. Besides, it will be a nice quiet place to talk. That’s what you wanted, right? To talk? You still haven’t told me what about.”

“Yes. I am… building my courage to speak of it.” He swallowed hard. “It is a difficult topic to broach. I worry it may… trigger your temper.”

“Are you scared of me?”

He hesitated before answering. “Yes.”

“Good.”

Strauss returned his gaze to the roads. He rested his head on the window. The cool of the glass was comforting, even though the heavy rumble of the truck was off putting. The road slowly became the city. He had been here often enough to recognize parts of it now. There was the path that led to the bar, and further down, the road to Mr. Samuel’s house.

He winced inwardly at the thought. With any luck, she’d forget about wanting to hurt Sam. If she tried again he may have to break his promise to Artemis not to fight with her. She seemed content to sing along to “Paint it Black” on the radio until it faded into an obnoxious car dealership commercial that played several decibels louder than the music. 

Strauss frowned, and abruptly shut off the radio. 

“Not feelin’ the tunes, Lu?”

“If I have to listen to one more moment of commercials I will lose my composure. Are we close? I wish to get out of the car.”

Or at least, he wished not to be trapped in a small moving object mere feet away from her while she subtly mocked him.

“It’s right up this way. We’ll have to park and walk. If we climb the fence in the back corner here, there won’t be any alarms.”

“You talk as if you’ve done this before.”

“Of course. Many times.”

She parked the truck and hopped out of it eagerly. Strauss meekly trailed after her. This was already taking far too long. He’d allowed her to call the shots and get him to a secondary location. He was just along for the ride at this point. He absentmindedly stuck his claws into his pockets and felt the smart watch still there.

He gripped it momentarily. That watch was a lifeline. So long as Artemis was on the other side of it, he wasn’t completely alone with Sylvain. Not that Artemis could help very quickly. He almost missed Frau Harker. 

“Y’know Lu. Before I got into the vampire killing biz I wanted to be an exotic veterinarian? Graduated with a biology degree and everything.”

“You must like animals. I suppose we have that in common as well.”

“More than I like people.”

“How did you come to join the Institute?”

“Some of my exotic animal research led me to some interesting places. Namely, old records of vampirism in animals. One of my advisors had ties to the institute, so I wasn’t exactly discouraged from learning more from there.”

“And they convinced you that these unique new specimens you’d just discovered needed killing?”

He followed her in the dark down a tree lined path. He could smell hot compost and dung- no doubt the dumping grounds of the large animal waste. Sylvain was the one not looking at him, now. She scanned the fence line for an entry point.

“It’s something they teach you when you learn about wild animals, Lu. Large predators and humans have conflict. Large predators need careful management.”

She found her spot on the fence and made the climb. She looked not unlike a squirrel, or rodent, scaling the sheer face of tall wooden slats. 

“If people are in conflict with large predators, and someone doesn’t remove the problem predators, then the people feel unsafe, and they retaliate. They retaliate hard. If a problem wolf isn’t shot, a ranger might poison the entire pack. If a problem vampire isn’t dealt with, then every vampire loses their veil of secrecy, and all of them are in danger.”

“So your venture into the murder of our kind was done out of some desire to save us?” He tilted his head. “It was for our own good?”

“I’m not saying it doesn’t sound stupid in hindsight. You want the answer? You got it.” 

She disappeared over the fence. Strauss gripped the top of the fenceline and slowly pulled himself up. Chin ups were arduous, but he cleared the obstacle easily, and lowered slowly to the tall grass of the other side. 

“Is that it?”

“Is what it?” She led the way down the gravel path of the staff areas. 

“I suppose I was expecting a renowned slayer to have some deeply personal reasons for collecting such a body count. I thought perhaps some vampire had wronged you, planted a desire for revenge, I did not expect your interests in us to be so academic.”

“Not every bad person has the luxury of a good reason for being that way.” 

Strauss followed her slowly. His head was on a swivel, taking in the grounds. He could feel many eyes tracking him, and many excited heartbeats in his ears, but none of them human. No doubt the animal denizens of the facility were not used to seeing visitors at this hour. He worried one might sound the alarm, somehow, like a guard dog. No such alarm came.

“I suppose our paths aren’t terribly different. I too took an interest in vampires from the perspective of the biologist. I was more interested in medicine than zoology, however.”

“Interesting, ain’t it? I ended up joining the hunters, and you ended up joining the wolves. Interesting choice on your part too, Lu.”

“I did not go by choice.” He replied flatly. “I thought perhaps, given your research into my life, you might know that.”

“You had more of a choice than I did.” 

“You and I both walked willingly into the tiger’s den.”

“Wrong. I walked in to kill a tiger. You walked in because one promised you something and you believed it. Maybe you should think twice about questioning my background when you’re the one taking candy from strangers.”

Strauss shut up abruptly. Her anger was still dangerous, despite the attempts at familiarity. 

“Forgive me. I did not intend to upset you.”

“Relax, Lu. You didn’t make me mad. When I’m mad, you’ll know.” She turned to face him with aggressive eye contact. He felt himself falter even further behind her. “Besides, all that’s water under the bridge now. We ended up on the same team.”

“Same team, are we?”

“Sure. Vampires should stick together. We’re a rare breed. We won’t get a lot of people who understand us. Doesn’t make sense to fight.”

“Why then, in our previous meetings, were you so keen to intimidate me?”

“Large predators have a hierarchy, Lu.” She lingered slowly by the fence line as a pack of captive wolves approached the chain link with hungry curiosity. 

“I had to be the one calling the shots. I needed you to know in no uncertain terms who was in charge. I didn’t want it to even be a question. So, a little vulgar display of power here and there. I figured your curiosity would bring you out even if I was kind of a bitch.” She grinned.

“Why is it important for me to be brought out?”

“I already said I didn’t want to kill you.” She leaned over the guardrail to look at the gathering wolves more closely. “I still don’t. I didn’t really think that you deserved it. I also know that most vampire research subjects at the Van Helsing Institute are kept there in jars, not in dorms.” 

She crossed her arms with a sigh. “You’re doomed there, you know. They want to pretend to be your friend but you’re just an exotic pet, and soon enough you’d be another skull in a cabinet. I wanted better for you. I wanted to… I don’t know. Release you back into the wild.”

“The fact that I can tell you that I am happy and well cared for notwithstanding?”

“A psychological cage is still a cage.” 

The wolves dispersed along the fence line. The novelty of the visitors had worn off. Sylvain followed the pack with her eyes till they were hidden from sight. 

"It's a bit late to try and just put you back, unfortunately. Whatever worked for you before back home is gone now. If you're going to survive now you're going to have to adapt. And I know you're bad at adapting."

She started down the path again. Strauss wandered after her. "What makes you think I'm bad at adapting?"

"If you were any good at it you'd have done it on your own. You lived in a hole underground slowly starving to death. Don't take this the wrong way Lu. Most large predators aren't very good at adapting. Especially adapting to a bigger predator. They don't know how to cope with it. I get the feeling that it was all downhill for you once bloodletting started becoming less common for illnesses. Am I right?"

"I admit, yes. The advancement of modern medicine was beneficial to humanity, but the loss of that treatment did leave me very hungry."

"Damn shame isn't it. But you know, Lu. Even if donations run dry, you can still keep a clear conscience if you just stick to those who have it coming." She flashed her awful shark toothed grin at him, almost more like an animal baring its teeth than a person making a smile.

"Is that what you do, Frau Pietra?"

"Accusatory tone much? Besides, I know you've done it." She hand-waved him away as she strode down a path labeled "Asia." 

"Yes, I have. But if you remember, that one was practically forced on me. It wasn't my original idea."

"Sure, the dead child molester wasn't your idea." She shrugged. "But I know he wasn't the first time you cleaned up the streets a little in the name of a hot meal. Maybe it didn't make it to your file, but I have a hunch, Lu. You can tell me. I won't blab to Ursula over it."

"If you must know, I have lived through two world wars, and I admit that yes… perhaps I did take advantage of the fact that so many people simply disappear into the fog of war. A dead Nazi here or there was not terribly missed. Is this sort of thing what you do often? Do you hunt, Frau Pietra?"

"Shhh. Hey. Look." Sylvain stopped and pointed at a fence. There was a panel built into it made of glass, for the viewing pleasure of the public. Strauss approached the glass slowly.

On the other side of the fence stood an apex predator. It was long, longer in body than Strauss was tall, and it weighed more than three of him. Its fangs likewise envied his own. Strauss ran his fingers along the raised letters of the bronze plaque that gave the beast its name.

PANTHERA TIGRIS ALTAICA

The Amur tiger. Small yellowish dots of reflected light glinted in its eyes. It stood not but five feet beyond the glass, regarding its audience with cool indifference. Strauss made eye contact with the animal, and felt that for a moment he could actually hold that eye contact comfortably.

The tiger blinked slowly, and began to pad silently past the glass, treating the pair to the full spectacle of its size and striped coat.

"That is a tiger. A real one."

"Yeah. Pretty fella, isn't he? Hard to believe they get that big."

"I've never seen a real tiger before." 

"That one's not a real tiger. Not all the way. It has the fangs and the claws, sure. But it's not a hunter. It won't ever kill a deer or defend a territory. It will only ever eat and sleep and mate as its handlers allow it to."

"The sign says it is an endangered species. Perhaps places like this keep it safe."

"Safe is different from whole."

Sylvain walked off down the path again. Strauss lingered a moment to watch the tiger. It looked like a real enough tiger.

"I am sure it is quite real enough to humble anyone who tries to tangle with it."

"That's true. That's one thing I like about this place, you know? I don't even think a vampire is a sure winner against a tiger. Puts me in perspective. There's always a bigger fish."

"That is a cat, not a fish."

"Shut up." 

"How much longer do you wish to linger here?"

"So impatient. How about this. Let me go feed the ducks in the koi pond and then we'll leave. We can talk more there. Maybe I can give you some pointers."

"Pointers on what?"

"How to be a real tiger, Lu. I feel like that's what you're really curious about anyway. I'd be happy to give you a little lesson."

"Lesson?"

He asked, though the answer was obvious. 

"Of course. Before the sun rises, I'm going to need a snack. You're going to help me get it."

"I'll do no such thing."

"I wasn't asking."

She produced a quarter from her pocket, and fed it to a coin slot machine that spit out a small handful of crumbling brown pellets.

"Here. Feed the ducks."

She forced the feed into his hands. It left an unpleasant residue. He helplessly tossed the feed to the waiting waterfowl and watched it sink and be devoured. 

[greatwyrmgold]

wait what the fuck how does that work what part is homophobic how what?

—@samwise210

Figured this should be its own post. It's kind of a wild conversation.

Typical disclaimer: I'm trying NOT to start drama, so I'm not going to name names. I'll be posting screenshots of the relevant PMs (with username and PFP removed) at the end of the post, to show that I'm not just making up a guy to be mad at. Novel disclaimer: It's been a while since I actually reread the conversation in question. The simplified version has gotten a bit more extreme over time.

For the sake of sanity, I'm going to call the other party P. P did not directly say that it was homophobic for ace characters to have friends. What they said was that Lisa being ace was homophobic, because it was only there to stop Taylor from having a sapphic relationship with Lisa. Which is a conspiracy theory as hilariously low-stakes as it would be pointless, if it was a real thing.

Anyways, part of the problem is that P's argument is kinda incoherent. It's focused more on Wildbow in general, how he writes lesbians in specific, and the aforementioned conspiracy theory than anything that was actually written about Lisa. The only Lisa-relevant thing that gets brought up is the fact that she's aroace and not in a relationship with Taylor (or later Victoria).

In retrospect, I don't think I made this argument well when I was PMing with P. I pointed out that their assertions had no merit, then I said that P was basically saying that it was homophobic to write ace characters. Perhaps because of how stressed I was from all the other ace!Lisa drama flying around at the time, I forgot to explain the logic connecting those two points.

When you get down to it, the only claim P made that was both germane and accurate was that Taylor and Lisa had the sort of close friendship that shippers love (not P's framing), and that Lisa was ace and therefore couldn't be in a sapphic relationship.

The implied logic (which I failed to properly articulate at the time) is that these factors were sufficient basis to call Lisa's (lack of) sexuality homophobic. Which isn't quite what P believed; they put a lot of stock in the "Wildbow only made Lisa ace to stop people from shipping her!" conspiracy theory, and thought that was a relevant point.

Other crazy things:

Lisa's sexuality never factoring into the plot makes it a plot device. (Which is, for the record, the opposite of what a plot device is.)

On a related note, the fact that Lisa's story doesn't revolve around her sexuality is what makes her a token. (Same deal.)

Rachel is aroace in canon. (Aromantic makes sense, but post-timeskip she's having sex with Biter because "he wasn’t a bad lay, if she was in the mood for that.")

Screenshots of the relevant PMs, as promised:

I mentioned this in a later PM, but I want to point out to y'all that the timeline here doesn't make much sense. People were shipping Victoria and Lisa way before Lisa's Ward interlude.

I still hate it. Why does Tumblr not let you expand the PM box to more than 6% of your monitor. Ugh.

Anyways, the rest of the conversation was me responding to P's points, then being told that I wasn't listening well enough. And then P blocked me, which, whatever.

Also, if the "calling lesbian relationships pandering" thing is referring to what I think it's referring to, it's a comment Wildbow made about not wanting to introduce a lesbian couple until Wildbow knew the audience knew that they weren't included so he could write steamy lesbian sex scenes. Which would be pandering! (I'm paraphrasing, I didn't bother to look up the actual quote.)

[dancing-to-architecture]

39 - The Eagles - Hotel California (1976)

Ugh. No. I refuse. You can't fuckin' make me. Give me the screaming German chainsaw techno. Please!

I KNEW that Jeffrey Lebowski was My Guy as soon as he said the immortal line: "Come on, man. I had a rough night and I hate the fuckin' Eagles, man!"

Don't ask me why i hate the eagles. I know they're technically competent and all that, like they're good at what they do. I also have an irrational hatred of Josh Groban and he's technically competent as well.

I think it's a mix of being dramatically overplayed throughout my life and my just being wholly uninterested in any their work, or just a general dislike of most of the people who are vocal fans of the band.

Fuck it. Buy the hellticket, take the hellride.

•Hotel California-

Aww, fuck me, "she got the Mercedes bends" is actually a good turn of phrase. I never once caught it until I actually read it, though.

The line about "we haven't had that spirit here since 1969" only gets dumber and funnier the older this song gets. The dude orders "a wine" and it just blows this guy away!

So, uhh, the food? scares the shit out of the guy? They're all killer robots? But they just can't kill the beast? What the fuck is the end of this stupid fucking song even saying?

Fuck, i hate the Eagles and i hate this goddamn song.

•New Kid In Town-

This feels like 1976. Different singer? Feels a bit more folksy.

Oh boy i really hate this.

•Life In The Fast Lane-

One of the only Eagles songs that doesn't make me wish i was born deaf... might be because i honestly thought this was a Dire Straits song for like 20 years.

But, after reading all the creepy horny lyrics in the verses that i generally can tune out, i almost wish i was born deaf AND blind.

Might be because I've never been all that fond of cars, but why are there so many songs about wanting to fuck in cars?

•Wasted Time-

Breakup song. It's okay. I've heard better ones today, let alone throughout this project.

•Wasted Time-

(Me reviewing this album)

Yeah let's reprise the song we literally just finished, why not? And also give it the same title!

•Victim of Love-

"Clearly, everything is the woman's fault." 🙄

•Pretty Maids All in a Row-

Title sounds like the name of a porno. Interminably slow, with "I'm stoned and this feels deep" lyrics.

After listening to Leonard Cohen talk about similar themes this just feels even more trite.

•Try and Love Again-

It looks from the lyrics that he had a good thing going and went for something else and now he laments what he "lost" (walked away from). 🙄🙄

•The Last Resort-

Worthless hippies and their native cultural appropriation and inability to actually DO anything. Fucking Christian cults and their megachurches actively destroying this country in the name of God, then packaging and selling hope back to the dipshit faithful.

I honestly like what this song is saying, but i think I'd vastly prefer it packaged in a 2 ½ minute long aggressive punk song than some 8 minute grandiose soft rock epic.

Well, it's over, and i still hate the fuckin' Eagles. Next!

Favorite Track: i was initially thinking life in the fast lane but now i am going to say "the peaceful silence after the album was finished".

Least Favorite Track: E. All of the above.

[stray-tori]

PiB 2 rambles compilation post

hi apparently ctrl+enter sends a post, whoopsies. attempt 2.

*kicks down the door* I JUST WATCHED PUSS IN BOOTS 2. & how can I return to my furry roots without returning to my tumblr roots.

! Spoilers ahoy !

OKAY SO: I SMILED LIKE SUCH A MANIAC DURING THE WHOLE WOLF INTRODUCTION WHICH IS PROBABLY NOT THE INTENDED EMOTION BUT IT WAS SO HYPE!! I WAS GRINNING BC IT WAS SO COOL!! I'M NOT WEIRD!! BE ON THE VERGE OF DEATH LESS COOLER IF YOU DON’T WANT ME TO BE HYPED. [I did calm down when he got seriously afraid though, dw i’m not that crazy]

Obviously i knew Kitty was gonna be in it but I was like HOW. WHEN. WHERE ARE YOU. and it was such a smooth and "of course!! of course she'S IN THE BOX" way to show up! I just saw the eyes and was like “:D!!!!” (Also does anyone else remember when DW said Kitty wouldn’t be in a sequel and the whole fandom was like “well then idc” DHSAJS)

ALSO MARRIAGE??! furry marriage is such a funny concept like. what are you gonna do- wear a flowy dress- apparently yes according to the dialog at least. IT'S JUST FUNNY MAN

-

Fun German Dub Things:

“savage” from one of the two sisters in response to the unicorn horns was translated to “Geiler Scheiß” which literally means “hot/sexy/awesome shit” but I JUST DON’T EXPECT TO HEAR “GEIL” IN CASUAL ANIMATED MOVIES Y’KNOW- then again I think it was also said in Strange World??

“that’s a dog in a cat costume” - “oh yeahhh- you tricky little shitter/fucker” Me: spits

“dogpiles don’t work on cats” -> “what are you doing? sleeping off a hangover” (hangover and puss are the same word in german) The fact that they not only adapted but it also works so well because he takes a sip at the end of that line is so!!!! GOOD JOB

All the "P" signatures were changed to "K" even in the animation?? I can’t prove this but once german ver is on something I’ll def compare the animations!! so much international effort holy shit... I was like "K??? for what does that stand?? KILL???" and then I was like "Kater??? [Puss] NO WAY WHAT"

-

there were a lot of cool transition cuts but one that stood out to me was after the scene with the lives singing and his silhouette shifted to two cliffs or something of the like-

-

Obviously the wolf is extremely cool and all his scenes slay so hard, but I also like how they played up whether he was real or not. I was tending to yes bc where he grabbed Puss on his coat there was actually a tear and I just thought it'd be hard to make a fight climax if he wasn't real, but I still like how they played that up BUT GOD THANK YOU I'm a little tired of things not being real (CoUGH IDV COUFH)

friend: Also have a close look at 4:51 [crowd shot of the extended preview] me: HOLY SHIT

HOWEVER, WHEN HE STARTED BEING LIKE "I was always there" i just sat there like. no. no you're not going to make me remember the STUPID EGG FROM THE FIRST MOVIE I WAS SO SCARED THEY'D GO INTO ANOTHER GOOFY MONTAGE!! I do think it's cool they kinda... made a parallel in that but I DIDNT WANT TO REMEMBER!! BEGONE

-

very fun movie. most fun cinema experience I've had for a while. I'm really glad I went to see it in cinema bc the heartbeat sound in surround sound was def grasping and like. obviously the bass and everything!

Also kinda got kicked by like... nostalgia too? I don’t really think of PiB as often as fondly as I do of KFP so it really surprised me that I got that happy to see them again. It definitely helps that the movie genuinely slayed.

it's what I want to feel for KFP but !! UGH THE CRINGE sahjads

-

I really enjoyed it, it definitely deserves all the hype it’s getting. go dreamworks!!

I will watch bad guys soon i promise i’ve been meaning to but A

[arctic-hands]

It's been about 2 months so I can finally free myself of the second hand awkwardness of my train ride home from the eclipse

So I get on the train back to the East Coast at around 1 a.m. At roughly 2 p.m an obviously Amish family consisting of two young adults who look way too young to be taking care of this many kids, a teenage girl, three kids who look to be around seven, and two infants.

Hoo boy. This is a sixteen hour train trip that would be stretched to eighteen hours after engine trouble.

Predictably, the two babies did not like being in a rickety train and screamed their heads off periodically for the entire ride. I don't fault the babies for screaming, the ride was quite wobbly and rumbly. I was once a screaming baby too.

Predictably, the three 7ish year olds were running around and climbing everything, even trying to climb into the overhead luggage racks. I can't fault the children for this, as I too was a rambunctious child who liked to climb and jump before my knees turned to shite, and were I not a master of zoning out I too would have been quite bored.

What was not predictable was that the Amish couple did nothing to soothe or calm their kids the entire ride. The teenage girl just ignored everything and read books. The most the parents did was if their babies in their laps got a little too shrieky for THEIR comfort they would put their hands over the baby's mouths to muffle it, which predictably did nothing but make the babies more agitated.

Now I could extend sympathies for these young parents. When I say young, I mean twenty year olds at best. Too young to be taking care of this many kids. But in the seventeen hour time span I spent with these people, about two thirds of it was me wracking my brain for the German words to say "madam, please calm your children", and the other third was me wracking my brains for what I know about the Amish and how to say the words more archaic. At one point the seven year old girl looked behind her seat she was climbing on and just stared at me, but I was too sleep deprived to even say hello in any comprehensive language. And I was wearing a mask so my polite smile didn't show, so she just kept staring at me.

Anyway

At some point some European tourists got in. One was a man who looked to be about ten years older than me. Classic tourist vibe, camera around the neck and everything. Anyway as they were boarding the car the father had left his seat and the mother said something in Pennsylvania Dutch, and the camera tourist's eyes light up.

Ugh. 🫠

I wasn't trying to eavesdrop but I had the misfortune of being across the aisle and one row behind the parents and the screaming babies on their laps so it was inevitable that of course my rusty German skills would suddenly work for the first time in like a decade, enough for me to pick up the guy introducing himself auf Deutsch, and I heard him explain he was from Bornholm and could speak German fluently, how were you?

So I don't know off the top of my head when Pennsylvania Dutch linguistically drifted far away from German or vice versa, p sure it's been at least a century and a half. All I know is I had to contend with hearing a few contrite statements in PD and then some confused questions for clarification by the tourist in German before the two of them just stared at each other for like thirty seconds in complete silence before the Dane smiled politely, said "Tschüs!" and hurried away.

I thought about approaching him to explain what the Amish were and about Pennsylvania Dutch, but a) I was so fucking exhausted, 2) wasn't sure if he knew English and my German skills have degraded from my previously conversational level and I can understand more than I can actually say, and 3) I think everyone who experienced what just happened wanted to melt underneath the train tracks and solidify into flattened pennies.

Anyway this in no way involved me but it was so awkward I had to talk about it in therapy later that week lol. Eventually the family got off the train an hour before I did, perhaps predictably in Pennsylvania, and just about everyone in my train car audibly groaned in relief. The Dane had sat down somewhere behind me and I wasn't rude enough to turn and try to find him, so I have no idea if he was still there and groaning in relief too.

Anyway that sucked lmao

[sweaterkittensahoy]

It's funny you mention that because the conversations I saw around that scene are what made me decide to bring this book home and read it (not yet, soon).

When I first saw the scene, I assumed Solly was being helpful to lift the guys supplies off of him. Which he does. They'd been planning to escape before the Long March, and I read his actions as an act of subterfuge to get supplies in case they got the signal to run for it.

When I was looking at other responses to the episode, I saw a lot of people read it as part of a much larger issue with Jews being shown to be humane towards unquestionable Nazis (not just random German soldiers, but characters [like the guard] who are clearly full-blown Nazis), and it was an issue I only vaguely knew existed. I knew about some very obvious fucked up shit in romance novels in the last decade or so where someone (possibly more than one someone) wrote a fucking romance between a Nazi guard and a camp prisoner. Like, that is unquestionably fucked up. Anyone who can't see why needs to unpack some shit.

But the stuff like Solly's actions in the March, where I saw a small act of subterfuge, Jewish viewers saw yet another example of a Jew showing humanity to a Nazi as though it needs to be proven that the Jews actually were better human beings than the Nazis, and I don't have a one-to-one example of understanding the frustration and anger of that, but as a twangy southerner, I don't trust when a single character shows up with a twang in a movie or tv because I'm just waiting for that person to be painted as incredibly stupid or incredibly racist or incredibly right wing. Because they so often fucking are and it's exhausting to see it over and over and over when the lived experience as a twangy southerner isn't this fucking trope.

And I cannot imagine the number for the exponent on how much worse it must be as a Jew to watch a Jewish character end up, once again, being shown to appear helpful to a Nazi.

I really want to be clear that the most important thing to do when Jews say "Oh, god, not this shit again" is to pay attention and listen as they explain 1) what the shit is and 2) why it's a fucking problem. In the same way we listen to other marginalized groups when they say that. So much casual antisemitism gets handwaved as "ugh, you're overreacting" when the same shit for a different group would cause outrage. If a Jew says "Hey, this is a problem," and your first response is, "No, it's not." That's your sign to maybe do a little digging before you decide to argue.

Found in a little free library today, and apparently this book was first published in 1973 and I get the feeling reading this is gonna make me very mad.

Like, I feel pretty sure just from the blurb that I have stumbled on a formative "Jews showing humanity to Nazis" story for a lot of people.

[krispyalpacaduck]

Rescue Me - Chapter 3

Rescue Me - Prologue | Rescue Me - Chapter 1 | Rescue Me - Chapter 2 | Rescue Me - Chapter 4 | Rescue Me - Chapter 5 | Rescue Me - Chapter 6 | Rescue Me - Chapter 7

Pairing: Morbius x Reader

F/D - Favorite drink

Y/N - Your name

F/S - Favorite scent

F/C - Favorite color

Warnings: Language

Walking down the sidewalk coming home from work, you stopped at a newsstand. 

“Hey, Frank. How’s it going?” 

“Hey Y/N! Haven’t seen you in a couple days. I don’t have any new books yet. I did get some new note and sketchbooks in though.” 

“That’s okay. I have a to-be-read pile a mile high in my apartment.” You said, chuckling. Browsing the newspaper, you spot one with Michael’s face on the front page. Picking it up, the headline read Dr. Michael Morbius Apprehended in the Vampire Murders

You swallow the sudden lump in your throat. 

“Glad they finally caught him. Guy looks like a freak.”

You snapped your head up, an angry expression on your face about to give him an earful, then thought better of it. You liked Frank. He was one of the few people you felt safe talking to. Plus, you didn’t want him to think you were in league with a murderer. 

“As if the streets of New York were any safer before he came along.” You opted instead as you read the article. Looking up at Frank, you say, “How many times have you been robbed this week, Frank?”

He looked surprised, then bowed his head. You decided to buy two of the notebooks and a sketchbook. As you handed him the money, you said,

“Keep this somewhere safe. I’d hate to see my favorite newsstand vendor go out of business because of city riffraff.”

He smiled in a fatherly way, taking the money from you.

“Thank you, Y/N. Appreciate ya.”

~~~~~~

“Hey, where’s that cripple that was with you the other night? Did you scare him away, too?” The desk clerk looked up and down your body lewdly, biting his lip. Sucking in a breath, he said, “Nah, you’re probably into that vampire psycho running around town. Oh, wait, they arrested him.” He made a sad face, using his finger to drag a tear down his cheek. 

Your jaw clenched in anger, your hands balling into fists. Taking a deep breath, you began to laugh loudly and turned to him.

“Oh my god, you’re so funny.” 

Putting your hand under your chin, you cocked your head at him. “How are you still single?”

“I know, right? I’m hilarious.” He looked you up and down again, causing you to repress a shiver. “You free later?”

Putting on a sultry face, you placed your tongue to the roof of your slightly open mouth and reached out to grab his tie, pulling him towards you. He licked his lip, smiling big. You smiled back at him, leaning into his lips. 

“I knew you wanted me.” He purred.

Reaching into your bag, you grabbed one of the notebooks and cracked him upside the head with it. He looked surprised and yanked himself back.

“What the fuck?! Bitch!”

You winked as you put the notebook back in the bag, walking towards the elevator.

“Do you really want to fuck around and find out anymore? Take this as a lesson. Stop being a creep.”

A cleaning lady was walking by who had seen the whole thing. She held up her hand and you high fived it as you got to her.

“I could have you thrown out of here, you know!”

“Oh yeah? On what grounds? Putting a sleaze in his place?”

“My father knows the owner!”

“Curious. Does your father know about all of the sexual harrasment complaints?”

He jerked his head back, then snarled

“Watch your back, bitch.”

Getting into the elevator, you started to shake a little bit as the anger wore off. Then you started to worry. What if he made good on his words and retaliated? Almost to your apartment, you were lost in your thoughts when you distantly heard a voice yell,

“Shit, no! Maggie, come here! Bad dog!”

Just as a furry missile knocked you off your feet.

~~~~~~

A German Shepherd was licking you senseless in the face. Trying to sit up, Maggie jumped all over you.

“Ugh, Maggie. You licked me in the mouth.” You said, laughing as you wiped your mouth. She continued to lick you until she saw her owner run up, then hid behind you.

“Oh my God, I’m so sorry! Maggie, come. Bad girl. You can’t be doing that!”

You looked back at Maggie cowering behind you, then to her owner. “It’s okay, Beth. She just missed me is all.”

“She made a beeline right for you as soon as she saw you. You’re the first person I’ve seen that she gets that excited to see.”

You cupped her face in your hand and squished her jowls. Maggie licked you again. 

“Who’s my baby girl? You are! Yes you are!” You said, baby talking her.

“So, hey. I have a question for you.” Beth said shyly.

Finally able to get up, you walked the rest of the way to your apartment, unlocking it.

“Come on in! We can talk in here.”

Maggie ran into your apartment, jumping onto your couch as you and Beth walked in.

“Make yourself at home, Maggie!” You said sarcastically.

“Maggie, down! Off the couch.”

“Beth, she’s fine. Relax.” You said with a smile.

“She knows better.”

“Coffee?” You asked.

“I’d love some!” Beth said enthusiastically. 

After you made the coffee, you and Beth sat down on your couch, watching her smell it and sigh with content.

“So, what did you want to ask me?” You prompt.

“I hope this isn’t weird and we don’t know each other super well, but I was hoping to ask if you wouldn’t mind watching Maggie for a few days to a week? I’m going away with my family and I’m worried about taking her on a plane.

“Hmm… let’s ask Maggie.”

Turning to the dog, you say, “What do you think, Maggie? Would you want to stay here for a little bit?”

Her ears perked up, her head cocking to the side before she leapt on you and kissed you.

“I’ll take that as a yes!”

“Thank you so much. I really appreciate it. I’ll pay you, of course.”

“I’d watch her for free anytime, Beth. You don’t need to pay me. When are you leaving?”

“The day after tomorrow. I’ll bring enough food for her and all of her toys.”

Maggie turned to the balcony window, suddenly growling with her teeth bared.

“Maggie, what is it?” Beth asked, looking around.

Your heart skipped a beat, worried.

She looked to you as you held a wide eyed stare. 

“Y/N? Are you alright?”

Blinking rapidly a few times, you turned your gaze back to her. 

“Yeah. I may or may not have cracked a notebook against the desk clerk’s head today when he was being creepy. He told me to watch my back. I’m hoping it was just a heat of the moment threat, but he kind looks like the type to end up on a sex offender’s list.”

Beth visibly shivered and acted like she was going to throw up.

“Oh my God, I know right? I don’t know how he’s even still working here.”

Truth be told, you were partially worried about the desk clerk and more worried about the direction Maggie had turned. You had just read in the paper that he was arrested. Why would she be looking out the balcony window and growling? Maggie turned back to you then, her sweet, panting face a relief. She whined softly and put her head on your lap, looking up at you with puppy dog eyes.

“You know it’s weird. She did that the other night too. Didn’t you have a break-in or something?”

Hiding your face in your hands, you said, “Oh my God, you heard about that?”

“I think the whole hotel did.”

“Great.” You said, dragging your fingers down your face, embarrassed. 

“We saw all the cop cars out front and a couple FBI agents. Why would they be here?”

“They’re just on edge with the whole Michael Morbius vampire murder nonsense. Being extra careful I guess. It wasn’t a break-in. I broke my balcony window trying to kill a rat. $3000 down the drain.”

She started to laugh hysterically. When she calmed down, she turned dreamy eyes to you, head leaning against her hands.

“Dr. Michael Morbius. He’s a whole lot of yummy, huh? He has the prettiest eyes.”

You looked down and smiled softly. “He does and he’s wicked smart too.”

“Y/N’s got a crush. Y/N’s got a crush.” Beth singsonged.

“Shut up, I do not.” You said laughing, throwing a pillow at her face. 

“Welp, me and Maggie best be off.” Beth said, standing up. “We’ll be over around 2 or 3 in a couple days to drop everything off. I really appreciate you watching her. Will you be home then?

“Of course! Anytime! Yes I will be here. My job is allowing me to go remote, thank goodness.” Turning to Maggie, you said, “Bye, Maggie. I’ll see you soon!”

Maggie licked you in the face a few times before turning to leave with Beth. After they had gone, you stared off into your apartment, rubbing your fingers on your thumb before jumping up to check the balcony area. 

You didn’t see anything at first then caught sight of something on the handle. Opening the door slowly, you saw a f/c paper crane. Your eyes widened as you scanned the skyline, wondering if he was still hanging around.

“Here… he was here…” You said softly, picking up the crane.

Taking one last look at the skyline, you closed the door and shut the curtains.

Tags:

@lex-the-flex

@nekoannie-chan

[chrizbang]

Pairing: Bang Chan x female reader, ft. Han Jisung

Genre: smut, a little bit of angst

Warnings: mature content, partying, drinking, kissing, unprotected sex, oral sex, lowkey fuckboy!Chan

Word count: 8.038

Summary: You had to do a project for the last semester in college before your vacation. Not only you had to deal with the stress of doing it right, but you also had to deal with the stupid crush you had on Bang Chan.

"Felix, I'm not going to kiss Chan"

"Everyone, pay attention here, please," your teacher said. Slowly, everyone stopped with the side talk and paid attention to her. "For your last project of the semester, I decided that we are going to learn about different cultures." She got up from her table and went in the direction of the board. "Remember when I asked you guys to send me the names of your groups? Basically, I'm going to draw random countries for each group. I want you guys to do a study aboout the differences of said countries, based on a theme that you are going to choose.”

She started writing on the board.

“The theme must be something creative. If it is not creative, your project is going to lose points, okay?" she said enthusiastically.

She started to draw the countries for each group. Your group was formed by basically you and Felix. Felix became your friend after the first day of class but you felt like he was your friend since forever. "I want this project by the end of the month, so..." she looked at the little calendar on her table. "You guys have three weeks. Any doubts?" Some people raised their hands but you weren't paying attention anymore, you were writing down the countries that you had to work with: Australia, Germany, Spain and, Korea. You had no idea what to do for your project. Your teacher was very clear: it had to be creative. Creativity wasn't your thing. "Okay, guys, class dismissed," your teacher announced. Everyone started to get up and leave but you sat there, trying really hard to think on a theme. "Hey, we have to go," Felix said. "What are we going to do?" "We have plenty of time to think about it, Y/N." Felix grabbed your backpack and started to put your stuff inside of it. "Three weeks is not plenty of time, Felix." "Okay, what's your idea, then?" "I don't know, that's why I'm asking you, dumbass." Felix rolled his eyes and grabbed your hand, dragging you out of the classroom. "How about we do a project about the foods of each country?" "Hm, that's interesting." You took your backpack from his hands to grab a little notebook to write down the ideas. "But I don't think is creative enough." Felix sat at the bench at the corner of the hall. "What if we did the differences in the skin texture of each country?" Felix looked at you and saw the pout on your face. "Too much?" You simply nodded. You sat down next to him, already tired from all the thinking. "You know what would be funny?" you grinned. "What?" "If we made a project about the way that people from each country kiss and the differences from each one." "Y/N, that's it!" Felix got up, excited. "Felix, I was joking." "No, this is a great idea. It's creative! There are students from different countries in our college, so we can totally do it!" "As far as I know, there's only one german student here. Are you going to kiss him?" You stood in front of him, arms crossed. "You are going to kiss him." Felix looked at you like what he was saying was obvious. "Felix!" "Look, we have four countries. I can kiss two people and you kiss two people. It's not going to be hard." "You know what? I'm going home. I'm going to think about a better theme." "You know you can't," Felix shouted while you left. Felix was right, this idea was the best one. It was creative and bold, but kissing random people was the hard part. Not that you didn't like to kiss, but you were used to kissing people at parties, people that you would kiss while you were drunk and you knew that you would never see them again. Not people from your college where you would have to see them every day. "Hi, Jisung," you said while you opened the door of your apartment. Your roommate was laying down on the couch, playing video games. "Hey," he greeted you. You lifted his legs so you could sit on the couch, putting his legs on your lap. "Are you okay?" he asked, noticing your expression. "Ugh, I have this stupid project to make," you whined, throwing your head back and closing your eyes, letting the frustration take over your body. "Do you wanna talk about it?" "No." Your phone rang, you grabbed it only to see that it was Felix calling you. "Hey, Felix." "What's up Feliiix," Jisung screamed. "Hi Jisung,” he yelled, making you pull the phone away from your ear. “Y/N, can you come to my apartment today?" "Nope. No, I can't." "Why? Do you have something to do?" Felix asked. "I don't want to. You know why." "Y/N, you have to get over the crush you have on Chan one day." "I don't have a crush on him, Felix. He just makes me...uncomfortable. Not in a bad way, in a weird way. I don't know how to explain." "Y/N, he's not even here now. Besides, we have to work on the details for our project," Felix insisted. "Why don't you come to my apartment?" "Because every time I go there we can never get anything done because of Jisung. Please? Please, Y/N." "Fine," you sighed. "I'll be there in twenty minutes." "Are you going to get pretty for Channie?" Felix teased. "Shut the fuck up." You turned off your phone and went to your room. The truth is: you did have a crush on Chan. Chan was handsome, funny, he had a great body and a great personality. He was also a fuckboy. You can't remember the number of times that you saw him with different girls in their apartment, one prettier than the other. Eventually, you stopped going to their apartment because you never knew how to behave like a normal human being around him and, seeing him with pretty girls wasn't helping. You took a quick shower and dressed in simple clothes, you didn't want Felix teasing you. While walking through the campus in the direction of their apartment, you kept trying to calm yourself. It has been a while since you saw Chan, so you were excited, even though you were trying to convince yourself that you weren't. Felix said that he wasn't home, so there was no reason for you to be nervous. You stopped in front of their door and took a deep breath. You knocked and it took a moment before Felix answered. "Hey, Y/N," Felix screamed, giving you a hug. "Don't act like we didn't see each other a few hours ago." You entered their apartment. The structure was the same for all the apartments on the campus, but each one had its own piece of decoration. Surprisingly enough, Felix and Chan's apartment had a great decoration and was super clean. "So... let's go to your room." "Are you sure that you don't want to work in the living room?" Felix asked. "I'm sure," you said, already going in the direction of his room. Felix laughed. He knew you were trying to avoid Chan. You sat on Felix's bed with your notebook in your hands, ready to take notes. "Look," Felix said, sitting in front of you. "I know that you don't want to use kissing as a theme, but..." Felix raised his hand when he saw your expression, trying to explain himself. "It is the perfect theme, Y/N. We are not going to find something as creative and daring as this. And this is important for our grades, we are not doing very well on this subject, remember?" Felix tilted his head. You know he was right. "Fine, you are not going to leave me alone, are you?" "Nope." Felix got up from the bed and grabbed his notebook on his table, to show you some annotations. "So, we have to find people from Australia, Germany, Spain, and Korea. We already know the german student, don't worry, I'll talk to him so you can kiss him." Felix wrote down something in his notebook and continued. "There's a spanish girl in Chan's class, I'm gonna ask him to help me out." The simple mention of Chan's name made you feel butterflies in your stomach. "For korean, I thought about the possibility of..." Felix hesitated and looked at you. "No." "Come on, Y/N." "I am not going to kiss Jisung, Felix." "Fine, I'll look for a korean girl somewhere." "There's probably someone in our college." "The problem is someone australian. Don't get me wrong, I love you and you are gorgeous. But I'm not going to kiss you." "I don't want to kiss you either, Felix." "Felix." You heard Chan calling, startling you. "I'm in my room," Felix yelled. Chan opened the door of Felix's room. You looked at your notebook to pretend that you were occupied. Chan and Felix talked about ordering food for dinner or something. "Y/N," Chan said when he noticed you, making you instantly look in his direction. "Long time no see." He had a stupid cocky smile on his face. His sweet voice made you swallow hard. "H-hi, Chan." Of course, you had to stutter. "You can stay for dinner if you want," Chan offered before leaving the room. "So cute," Felix whispered, looking at your red face. "I have to go," you said, gathering your stuff. "But Chan invited you for dinner, Y/N," Felix teased you. "Bye, Felix." "Okay, let me walk you to the door." Luckily, Chan was occupied in the kitchen so he didn't see you leave. "Text me once you get there, okay?" Felix said. "Okay, bye." You kept thinking about the little interaction with Chan on your way home. He dyed his hair since the last time you saw him. Instead of blonde, it was now black. Both colors suited him so much. He was wearing a black sweatshirt and some jeans, the most basic clothes ever and he looked breathtaking. You hated how you were head over heels for him, you felt like a teenager. It was so silly. Days went by and you had a lot of work from college. Felix already worked on his part and managed to kiss the spanish girl from Chan’s class. Something made you feel like kissing wasn't the only thing he did, but you didn't want to know the details. Some students were planning a party and Chan invited Felix, who invited you. "I don't know, I have so much to do," you whined. "Can I go?" Jisung asked, stuffing some food in his mouth. "Of course," Felix said. "Y/N, that's exactly why you should go." He said that while holding some of the papers that were on the couch while you worked on your homework. "You need to ease your mind from all the stress from school." "He's right," Jisung agreed. "She's so grumpy lately because of college." "Shut up, Jisung,” you whined. "Okay, fine. But only if you help finish this," you told Felix. "Fine." The party was on a tuesday night, Felix would go with Chan so you asked Jisung to take you. "Looking good," Jisung stated, eyeing you up and down as he entered your room. You were putting your earrings on. You decided that since you would have all the work to go to a party, you had to a least look good. So you were wearing a leather skirt with a white long-sleeved blouse that showed some cleavage. "Thanks, Jisung. Are you ready?" "Yeah. Let's go." The party wasn't far away from your dorm so you were able to go walking. It was 9 pm, so leaving Jisung with you made you feel safer. Jisung was the type of person who was outgoing, he talked a lot and made you laugh all the time. Along the way, he talked about college and his classes. He studied music production and he seemed really passionate about it. You thought it was cute how his eyes glowed while he talked about his classes. It was funny because Chan also studied music production, but he was from a different classroom. Some minutes later, you were at the place of the party. You had no idea whose house was that, but you completely forgot about it once you were inside. The first thing you saw was Chan, but he was too occupied to see you. He was kissing a girl. She was gorgeous, with long blonde hair, and a tight red dress that accentuated her curves. You were sure that Chan enjoyed that dress by the way his hands ran over her body, stopping at her ass to grab it. "I'm gonna look for Felix," you whispered to Jisung. You found Felix standing next to a table where people were playing beer pong. "Y/N," he yelled when he saw you. He ran in your direction, giving you a tight hug that made you realize that he was probably, already, a little drunk. "Hi," you said with a sad voice. "What's wrong?" "Nothing. It's not important." "If it's not important, why are you making that face?" He held your face with his hands, looking right into your eyes. "Felix, I don't wanna talk about it, not now." You looked in the direction of the table. "Can I play?" "Sure," Felix shrugged. You played beer pong with Felix and some unknown people and eventually, you started to feel dizzy. "I'm going to use the bathroom," you said, stumbling on some drunk people while you tried to leave. You went to the second floor, looking from door to door when you finally saw the bathroom one. However, when you got closer, you realized that there was someone inside of it. And they weren't alone. You could hear the sound of skin slapping against skin and muffled moans. You widened your eyes, feeling embarrassed by witnessing people having sex. When you turned around to leave, you heard the girl moaning "fuck Chan, harder." You could hear Chan groaning while he fucked her.

You swallowed hard and left. There was another bathroom on the first floor which you found eventually. Once you were inside, you sat on the toilet and cried. You had this stupid crush on Chan for so long and look at you. Crying in the bathroom while he fucked a girl in another bathroom. You stayed there for a while, feeling sorry for yourself until you got fed up. It was time to get over him. You cleaned your tears and got up to go back to the party. You looked around for Felix but couldn't find him anywhere. "Y/N," you looked in the direction of the person calling you and saw Jisung enthusiastically waving at you. He was standing in the middle of the living room where people were dancing. "Hey," you half yelled since the song was loud. "Are enjoying the party?" "Not really." You really wanted to leave, you didn't feel like staying at that party, and you especially didn't feel like dancing. That's when you looked around and saw Chan at the corner of the living room, talking to Felix. You saw that he had his eyes on you. Like he would always do, looking at you like he was checking you out but without it being obvious. You clenched your fists, you were tired of Chan teasing you. You had an idea and you didn't even stop to think about it. You grabbed Jisung's face and kissed him. It was a weird kiss at first, the smell of alcohol exhaling in the air. Jisung's lips were soft but eager, he held onto your waist, getting your body closer to his. He wasted no time before shoving his tongue inside of your mouth, taking you by surprise. You kissed him for a while but you stopped the moment you felt him rubbing his boner on you. You lightly pushed him by his shoulders.

"I have to go," you said, leaving the room. Jisung stayed there, looking at you, without knowing how to react. You decided that you had to leave. You were confused, upset, angry and a little horny, thanks to Jisung. You started to walk in the direction of the gates of the house when you heard somebody calling your name. "Y/N, wait!" You sighed and turned around. The last thing you needed was to talk to Chan. "What do you want?" you roared. "Are you leaving?" "Yes. I'm going home." He looked like he was angry at something, but you simply shrugged. "Let me take you home. It's way too late for you to be walking alone," he said in a serious tone. "I don't need your help, Chan." You turned around to leave when he grabbed your arm. "This was not a suggestion. I'm taking you home," he growled. You pulled your arm from his hands but didn't fight. Chan walked with you to your apartment quietly. Not a word was said until he stopped in front of your dorm. "Thanks," you said, looking at the floor. "So, Jisung, huh?. I didn't expect that." "I'm sorry?" You raised your head, looking at him. "How long have you been dating him?" he asked. He really looked like something was bothering him, clenching his jaw and crossing his arms. You felt like he was fighting with you for doing something wrong. "T-that's none of your business. Goodnight, Chan," you remarked. You went in the direction of your door and stopped. You were so angry at him, you couldn't stop the words from coming out of your mouth. "Where's the girl you were fucking in the bathroom? You should be worried about her." Chan widened his eyes and smiled. You wanted to punch that stupid smile out of his face. "Are you jealous?" he asked, raising his eyebrow. "Fuck off." You unlocked the door and went inside. You lay down on your bed and closed your eyes. It didn't take long for you to sleep since you were exhausted. You couldn't say that you had a good night of sleep though, you woke up with a hangover and headache. Still, you had class first thing in the morning so you had to go. You took a shower and got dressed up when you remembered what happened to Jisung. You were not ready to face the consequences of your actions, so you tried to leave without seeing him. You were sitting in your class, trying to pay attention when Felix arrived. "Hey," he said, sitting by your side. "Hey," you whined. "I have good news. There was a german girl at the party last night, so I did your job for you." "Yay," you said without any enthusiasm. "Aaand, since you kissed Jisung, you have the korean part. There's only Australia missing." "Haven't you kissed any girls when you lived in Australia?" you interrogated him. "I did, but I'm australian. I think it would be better from the perspective of someone who isn't, you know?" You sighed. When you started to pack your stuff to leave after the class was over, you groaned. "What is it, Y/N?" Felix asked. "I have to go home." "And?" "I kissed Jisung, Felix." "Was it that bad?" Felix tilted his head, not understanding your point. "That's not the point. He's my roommate and my friend, that's weird." "Well, unless you are planning to move somewhere else, you'll have to talk to him." You groaned again, throwing your head back. You went home thinking about what exactly you would tell Jisung. You always thought that Jisung was an attractive guy and you would be lying if you said you never took a look at his body when he would walk around shirtless. There was even that one time where he brought a girl home, they tried to stay quiet but you could hear them fucking. That turned you on so much that you had to touch yourself. Still, Jisung was your friend and kissing your friends was not something that you usually did. When you got home, you looked around for Jisung. You heard some noises in his room. You knocked at the door and he stayed silent for a while. "Come in," he said. "Hey," you purred when you opened the door. "I think I need to talk." "Yeah, I think we should." "Sorry for kissing you last night, that was a stupid thing to do," you stumbled on your words, barely giving yourself time to breathe. "Y/N," Jisung raised his hand. "It's okay. You are a good kisser." "Thanks. I guess."

"I have to admit that I couldn't stop thinking about it. I was thinking..." Jisung hesitated for a moment, thinking deeply about what he was going to say.

"Why don't we do it again?" he suggested.

You bit your lips. You had to admit that that's not what you were expecting from him.

You sat at the edge of his bed, getting closer to him.

"Jisung, I... I kissed you because I wanted Chan to notice me, maybe get him jealous." Saying it out loud made you realize how childish and silly that was, you couldn't help but to feel embarrassed.

"Y/N, I don't care. It's not like I'm asking you to marry me," he laughed.

Jisung sat by your side.

"What do you think about being friends with benefits?"

He watched your reaction. You had a confused expression on your face, trying to understand his words.

"When was the last time that you had sex?" he asked.

"I don't know. Eight months ago?"

"See? It's been a while for me, too. Besides, you can even use me to make Chan jealous, if you want."

"Are you listening to yourself, Jisung?"

"Yes. We can still be friends, no feelings involved. Think about it."

Jisung got up from the bed and walked in the direction of the door.

"Ji-jisung."

He turned around to look at you. "Yes?"

"I want it."

Felix, 5:35 pm: Hey 

Felix, 5:35 pm: Did you write your dissertation about the korean part?

Y/N, 5:38 pm: I did

Y/N, 5:38 pm: Even though I don't think it's really useful since I was drunk

Felix, 5:40 pm: You should kiss Jisung again then, lol

Y/N, 5:41 pm: Maybe I will ;)

Felix, 5:42 pm: Y/N??? You nasty little b

Felix, 5:43 pm: Send it to me, please.

Y/N, 5:45 pm: Okay.

Y/N, 5:45 pm: Hey, are going to do something tomorrow?

Felix, 5:48 pm: No, why?

Y/N, 5:49 pm: Let's go to the movies. There's that horror movie that we wanted to watch in the theaters.

Felix, 5:51 pm: Sure!

Y/N, 5:52 pm: Can I bring Jisung?

Felix, 5:52 pm: Yes

Felix, 5:54 pm: But don't you dare to make me feel like the third wheel.

Jisung didn't even know that you had plans with him that afternoon. But you wanted to spend time with him, to ensure the "friends" part of your negotiation. After accepting to be friends with benefits, he didn't talk about it anymore. You thought that he would kiss you again or something, but no, he went to the kitchen to make some mac and cheese for dinner and then went to sleep.

"Jisung," you said, knocking on his door. You know that if he was silent he was probably taking a nap.

"What?" he asked, in an annoyed voice.

"Can I come in?"

"Ugh, no, I'm sleeping."

You entered the room anyway. You swallowed hard when you saw that he was laying on his stomach, shirtless. His back was exposed for you to see. It was not the first time that you saw him like that, but it was the first time since you kissed him.

"Get up, we are going to the theater."

"We?" he asked, looking at you.

"Yes, you, me and, Felix."

"Aww," he whined. "I thought it would be a cute date."

Jisung winked at you with a cocky smile on his face.

"Shut up. You have ten minutes to get dressed."

You agreed with Felix to meet him at the movie theater, so you left with Jisung on an Uber.

When you arrived at the movie theater, you could see Felix at the line to buy the tickets, but he wasn't alone.

"Felix?" you asked when you got closer to him.

"Hey!" he said. "I hope you don't mind Chan coming with us. He insisted that he wanted to come. Like really."

"Hi, Y/N," Chan purred, smiling at you. He then looked a Jisung.

"Jisung," he said in a low voice. His face looked serious, it didn't look like he was happy to see Jisung there.

Chan looked back at you. “I hope you don’t mind if Felix and I accompany your date with your little friend with benefits.”

You didn’t have time for a reaction since Felix pulled you to buy your tickets and some popcorn and headed to the movie. The mood was heavy, Jisung walked around with his arm around your neck all the time and you saw Chan looking at you with an upset expression. Was he jealous? You didn't know.

You sat by Jisung's side on the theater and Felix sat by your side, but after talking about something with Chan, they switched places.

Chan's leg touched yours and you felt your heart dancing in your chest. Why couldn't you get over him? You held Jisung's hand, trying to distract yourself. You were not giving Chan what he wanted.

With the corner of your eye, you would see Chan watching you sometimes. But you avoided looking back at him at any cost.

Jisung would whisper some things in your ear during the movie, making you giggle.

Suddenly, you felt Chan moving next to you. He stretched out for a moment, but he left his arm on your chair, next to your shoulders. You swallowed hard and rolled your eyes. Would you be lying if you said you didn't like the sudden attention you were getting from Chan? Yes, you would. But you felt confused and angry. Chan was acting jealous out of nowhere, to the point where you started to feel guilty, while you had to deal with the countless times where you saw him with other girls. Still, you never acted like a jealous teenager around him, so yeah, you were not giving in. The movie ended and all you wanted to do was to leave the theater. Jisung was by your side all the time, walking with you in front of Chan and Felix. "Let's go home, darling," Jisung purred, after giving you a peck on the cheeks. You could tell that he was loving to tease Chan. You said goodbye to Felix, and, reluctantly, to Chan and left with Jisung. When you got home you sat on the couch, still thinking about everything that was happening. Jisung sat by your side, almost sitting on your lap. "Ouch," you whined. "Sorry. What is up with Chan? He looked really angry at me today." "I don't know and I don't care," you shrugged. "Come on, Y/N. I think he has a crush on you and got all mad now that you have a man." "Oh, I have a man?" you looked at Jisung with an amused expression. "Well, we are friends with benefits, remember?" Jisung laid his head on your shoulder while his hand grabbed your thigh. "I almost forgot since you didn't say anything about it anymore." Jisung's thumb drew patterns on your skin while he talked. "Well, I wanted to give you space, you know? To get used to it." "Awn, you are so sweet." "I am, baby." You looked at Jisung, who was also looking at you. Slowly, you got closer to him until your lips touched. Now that you were sober, it wasn't so weird to kiss him. He was very eager, but not in a bad way. He played with your tongue while he guided the kiss, holding your head with his hand. Suddenly, he grabbed your waist, making you sit on his lap. He kept on kissing you, running his hands through your body. You started to grind on his boner, just to tease him a little. Jisung held hard on your waist, pulling you closer to him, so you would grind harder on him. You couldn't hold the little whine that left your lips when you felt his hard dick against your clit. "Take this off," he whispered, helping you to take off your t-shirt. He didn't waste time, grabbing your boobs and pulling your bra down. he licked one of your nipples while he played with the other.  You moaned loud, rocking your hips on his cock. Jisung started to kiss your neck, working to take his belt off. He opened his pants and freed his dick. "Are you on the pill?" he asked. "Yes." Your skirt was already raised, exposing your wet panties. He pulled your panties to the side and held your waist, helping you out so you could slide on his dick. You whined when you felt him stretching you out. You started to ride his dick at a fast pace, not giving your pussy time to adjust. "Fuck, Y/N," Jisung moaned. "I'm not gonna last long if you keep it like that." "Play with my clit, I'm close," you whined. He rubbed his thumb against your clit while you sat on his dick. After a little while, you came, kissing him on the lips. Quickly, you got off his lap and got on your knees. You grabbed his dick and started pumping and sucking it. Jisung came, moaning loud, filling your mouth up with his hot cum. You swallowed it and looked at him with an innocent face. "That's fucking hot," he whined. "Y/N, we need to finish our project," Felix said. You were sitting in the cafeteria. You had only one week before you had to deliver the project and Felix was starting to panic. "I know, I'm still looking for a guy who is from Australia that's not you." "You know a guy that's Australian and it's not me." "Felix, I'm not going to kiss Chan," you grumped. "Why not?" You turned around to see Chan standing behind you, with that cocky smile that he always had on his face. He sat on the table by your side. "Felix told me about your project. Why are not going to kiss me? Is your little boyfriend going to stay mad?" he teased. "You know that Jisung it's not my boyfrie-," you stopped once you noticed that you were explaining yourself. You cleaned your throat. "I don't owe you any explanation, Chan. And Felix, you really need to stop exposing my life to him."

Felix frowned.

"Come on, Y/N. You would rather fail than to kiss me?" he asked, tilting his head and looking at you, using a soft voice. You hated how he made you feel butterflies in your stomach by the way he looked at you. You hated how he looked so good with that stupid sweatshirt and his messy hair, making you think that he was probably late for college today. Probably because he was fucking some hot girl the night before. "I'm n-not gonna fail. I'll kiss Felix if I have to." You got up and left, going home. Felix called your name but you kept walking. In your college, there were a lot of foreign students, but not many australians, from what you knew. You knew that were no way that Felix would kiss you, so you had to do something. You were looking on Tinder, trying to find what you needed when Felix messaged you asking for you to go to his house. He said that you needed to at least finish to write the project, even if Australia was missing. You went to his apartment, ready to be angry at Chan, but you soon learned that he wasn't there. You and Felix did what you had to do and by the end of it, you were both mentally exhausted. "How come just writing something can be so tiring?" Felix asked, throwing himself on the couch. "Probably because we are both very stupid," you stated. "That must be it. I'm kind of hungry but we don't have anything to eat. I think I’m going to the supermarket to buy us something, okay?" "Okay. I'm gonna review our work while you are there." You were sitting there, doing your job for about ten minutes when you heard the door opening. "Already?" you asked. "Y/N?" "Oh, Chan. I thought it was Felix." you sighed. "Sorry to disappoint." Chan went to his room and stayed there for a while. You found it strange that he didn't come to tease you. "Y/N, can you come to my room for a moment?" "I'm busy." You felt your palms sweating. Was he really inviting you to stay alone, in his room, with him? "Please? It's going to be really quick, I need to show you something."

You wanted to say no, you really did. But you went to his room anyway. Chan closed the door when you were inside and told you to sit on the chair next to the table. He had his notebook turned on. "Put this on," he said, handing you his earphones. Chan played a song. It had a smooth melody, with soft lyrics. The person singing had a sweet voice. The lyrics talked about feelings and liking someone. It was short, about a minute and a half. "Do you like it?" Chan asked, with expectation shining on his eyes. "Yes, it's beautiful." He leaned on the edge of the table next to you. "Well, I wrote it and produced it. I also recorded it," he said with a smile on his face, but this time it wasn't a cocky one, he looked satisfied. "Oh, are you the one singing?" "Yes." "I didn't know you could sing." Chan played with his fingers and looked down. You have never seen him like that before. He looked hesitant, almost nervous. "Y/N, I-" "Hello?" Felix opened Chan's door. "Y/N, I was looking for you. We need to finish our project." Chan didn't say anything, he just left the room. "I hope I'm not interrupting something," Felix added. You shrugged and went to the living room with him. You finished all you needed about your project and went home. You looked for Jisung, until you found him in his room. "Can I come in?" you timidly asked when you opened the door. "Of course." You ran to his bed, getting under the covers with him. He was sitting down with his back against the headboard, he looked like he was studying. "I don't want to bother you, Jisung." "That's fine. What's up?" he directed his attention to you. "I'm so confused." "About what?" "About Chan." Jisung laughed. "Tell me about it." "Today he showed a song that he wrote. It was about love and stuff. And he has been acting all jealous. I don't know how to feel about it." "You really like him, don't you?" You sighed. "Jisung, I don't think we should be friends with benefits anymore." "It's okay, Y/N. Can we still be friends?" "Of course!" you hugged him, resting your head against his chest. "I'm gonna miss the sex though," he teased. "Jisung!" "Just kidding, baby." Y/N, 9:45 pm: Felix Y/N, 9:45 pm: We have one day before our project is due Y/N, 9:45 pm: I'm gonna ask you something Felix, 9:58 pm: Y/N I DON'T WANT TO KISS YOU Y/N, 9:59 pm: It's not that, dumbass Y/N, 9:59 pm: I need you to ask Chan if he will kiss me Y/N, 10:00 pm: But I want to make it clear that this is strictly professional Felix, 10:02 pm: Okay, I'm gonna talk to him You had no other choice anymore. You couldn't afford to have a bad grade so yeah, you were going to kiss Bang Chan. Felix said that you would have to go to their apartment. You already started to feel nervous. When you arrived, Chan opened the door for you. "Where's Felix?"" you asked. You were holding tight on the sleeve of your blouse. You walked past Chan while you entered their apartment and you felt your legs going weak when you smelled his cologne. He smelled so good. "He said that he wanted to give us privacy," he answered. You frowned, that was typical of him. "Look, I'm only doing this because I need to, okay? We don't have much time anymore and we really need to finish this project." Chan got closer to you, looking into your eyes. You wanted to run away. "Okay," he said. You stayed there looking for each other. You didn't know what to do. "A-are you going to kiss me?" you asked. Chan smirked. "I'm sorry, I'm a little nervous," he admitted. "You? Nervous?" "Yeah." "Chan, please. I've seen you kissing a bunch of girls a lot of times and you've never looked like you were nervous." "Yeah, but they were not you." Chan's words danced in your ears. "That's not funny." "What?" he asked. "It's not fun to play with someone's feeling like that." "I'm not playing with your feelings, Y/N. I'm serious." Chan touched your chin, making you feel shivers down your spine. One little touch and he had you on the palm of his hand. "I've known for a long time that you had a crush on me." You felt your cheeks burning. "I've always thought that you were amazing. Gorgeous, funny, smart. I just thought I wasn't good enough for you. But when I saw you kissing Jisung... I don't know. I felt so bad. I think I was used to having you around." Chan's hand that was on your chin ran to your cheek, holding the side of your face. "C-chan," you whispered. Chan shortened the distance between your bodies and kissed you. By the moment where his lips touched yours, you knew for sure that you would get addicted to it. His plump lips were soft and warm, welcoming yours like a tight hug. His other hand grabbed your waist, getting you closer to him. It was so soft and sweet, not something that you would expect from him. You held onto his neck, touching him to make sure you weren't dreaming. You wanted more. You slid your tongue in his mouth, deepening the kiss. Your hand ran through his chest until it reached the end of his shirt. You put your hand under his shirt, feeling his abs. "Y/N," Chan said. "Please," you whispered against his lips. You weren't thinking straight anymore. Chan's lips started to go down until they reached your neck. He sucked on it, making you whimper. "Are you sure about it? We don't have to do anything if you don't want to," he asked, looking right into your eyes. "I want to." Chan held your hand and took you to his room. He told you to lay on his bed. You never thought that this would happen one day. He laid down next to you, facing you. "We don't have to do anything, Y/N." He smiled, the stupid dimples making his face look cuter than ever. "We can just talk, maybe kiss and-" "Chan. I want you to fuck me." You were begging. You were begging for that cock like a little bitch and you were not embarrassed. Chan widened his eyes and swallowed hard. "Okay, okay," he giggled. He got on his knees and took his shirt off. You have never seen him shirtless and you were pretty much pleased by what you saw. You wanted to kiss every inch of his pale skin. Chan got on top of you. He kissed you, exploring your lips. You were wearing a dress that was quickly on the floor of his room. "Fuck," Chan groaned when he saw you only in lingerie. You saw the boner on his pants and licked your lips. You pushed him on the bed and got on top of him. You helped him so he could take off his pants and underwear. His dick was marvelous. Above average, thick, pink tip and veiny. You didn't waste time, you grabbed it and started to lick the head. Chan moaned, closing his eyes. You twirled your tongue around it while you pumped it with your hand. You sucked hard on the tip and Chan moaned again. You tried to go down on it as much as could, which wasn't much since deepthroating wasn't your specialty, but you guessed that Chan was enjoying it by the sounds he was making. Chan grabbed your head and stopped you. "Lay down, baby girl," he demanded. He opened the drawer of the nightstand next to his bed and grabbed a condom but he didn't put it on yet. Instead, he took off your lingerie and got between your legs. He slowly kissed your belly, going down your body. He bit the inside of your thighs, leaving marks behind. He finally went where you wanted him to. He licked your pussy lips, making you whine. He teased you, going from penetrating you with his tongue to licking your clit. You were moaning and whimpering, feeling your orgasm approaching. "Chan, please," you moaned. He started to finger you while he licked your clit. It was too much for you and you came on his mouth. Chan kept licking you until you couldn't take it anymore because of the overstimulation. He took the condom, slid it on his dick and, pumped it a few times. He kissed you, making you taste your own juices. He finally started to slide himself into you, slowly. You whined, feeling him stretching your pussy. "Fuck, baby. So fucking good," he whimpered. When he was fully inside, he gave you a deep kiss. He kissed you for a while, giving you time to get used to him inside of you. "C-chan," you moaned. He started to move, pounding into you at a slow and deep pace. You could feel every inch of him inside of you and you loved it. Chan's moaning was driving you crazy. "So good, baby," he said in your ear. His low voice went straight to your folds, getting you wetter. He kept it slow and intimate, rubbing his pelvis against your clit. "Chan, I'm g-gonna cum." "Cum for me, baby girl." You came again, feeling your legs shaking. Chan kept fucking you until he felt his high approaching. "Ah, fuck, baby," he whined when he came, thrusting deep inside of you. Chan lay down by your side. He took the condom off and threw it in the trash bin next to his bed.

He hugged you, making you lay on his chest. You stayed quiet, listening to his heartbeat, no words were needed. Chan played with your hair, his warm arms making you feel safe. Suddenly, your stomach growled. "Somebody's hungry," Chan teased. He started to move so he could get up. "No!" you whined. "I'm gonna get something for you to eat, baby," he giggled. You let go of him and Chan got up from the bed. He put on his underwear and went to the kitchen. You decided to put your clothes on. Some minutes later Chan came back. He widened his eyes when he saw you with your dress back on. "Are you leaving?" he asked, worried. "No, I just wanted to put it back on. Unless you want me to leave." "Of course not!" Chan sat by your side on the bed, he brought a plate with a sandwich and a cup of orange juice. "Here," he handed it to you. You ate while Chan talked about the songs he was producing. It was interesting to hear even though you had no understanding about the subject. "It's getting late. I'm gonna get dressed so I can take you home, okay?" he said. "You don't have to, Chan." "But I want to." Chan walked you to your apartment. He stayed with you in front of your dorm for a while, kissing and hugging you like he didn't want to let you go. Reluctantly, he went back home. When you went inside, you were surprised to see Felix sitting on the couch with Jisung, playing video games. "Wow, finally," he said. "That was a long kiss," Jisung teased. He didn't sound bitter, it really looked like he was being funny, which made you feel relieved. You sat between them, laying your head on Felix's shoulder. "I had sex with him." "Too much information," Jisung said. They laughed. "It's not funny, guys." "What's wrong, Y/N?" Felix asked. "Isn't that good? You've had a crush on him since forever." "Yeah, but what if I gave him what he wanted?" You got up from the couch, frustrated. "He had sex with me, so he will probably run for the next girl to fuck." "Y/N, I'm pretty sure he's head over hills for you," Jisung said. "I'm going to my room." Later that night you finished your project with Felix. It was due soon, so you were relieved but disappointed in yourself. You let yourself go so easily. You didn't want to feel like that, but you couldn't help it. You were feeling insecure. It wasn't just sex to you, you really felt a connection with Chan. But did he feel the same? What if he just acted as he liked you so he could fuck you? Claim you as his so he could show dominance against Jisung? You didn't know. The day to deliver the project finally arrived. You were relieved that it was finally done and the semester was almost over too. Soon you would be on vacation from college. When you were leaving the classroom, you saw Chan waiting for you outside. "Hey," he said when you got closer. "Hi." He hugged and kissed your cheek. "Wow, right in front of me, disgusting," Felix said. "Can I have your phone number?" Chan asked. "I thought of asking Felix, but I wanted to ask you in person. I also wanted to see you." "Yeah. Of course." "Hey, guys. I love both of you, but you are not going to make me the third wheel," Felix said, standing between you and Chan and intertwining his arms with yours and with Chan's. It was the last day of class. You and Felix got a 9 out of 10 on your project. Felix thought it deserved more but you were just happy that you did well. Your teacher said that she was impressed by the theme you chose. She loved how bold it was and it was exactly the type of stuff that she wanted. You laughed about the way Felix got excited because she complimented your project.

You were sitting in the cafeteria with Jisung, Felix and, Chan. At first, the idea of Chan and Jisung together made you uncomfortable, but they seemed to get along, so you were satisfied. Jisung also thought it would be better if he moved in with Felix so Chan could live in the dorm with you, which Chan promptly accepted. You went home with Chan, talking about your plans for your vacation and how you could spend time together. You ate and watched some TV, but you were really tired. Chan laid down on the couch and you laid on top of him, resting your face on his chest. You loved to stay with him like this, feeling the warmth of his body. You just stayed there with your eyes closed and feeling his perfume. Chan's phone rang and quickly answered, he didn't know that you were awake and he didn't want it to bother you. You heard him talking to some guy, he was inviting Chan to a party. "Thanks for inviting me, mate, but I'll have to decline," he said, almost whispering. "I'm with my girlfriend and I want to spend the day with her." You smiled. Chan was what you always wanted and you finally had it, and he also had you.

A/N: This is a long ass fanfic, I tried to proofread it but it might still have some grammatical errors. Thank you for reading, I hope you enjoyed!

[luna-rainbow]

I was thinking how the government doesn't trust Bucky but somehow they let him visit Zemo. The man who could possibly still have some control over him.

Okay *rubs hands* Now that I've talked about how I actually did enjoy Zemo's character in CACW, let's talk about the travesty that was TFATWS. I’m sure this has been covered multiple times before, but I can never get over how mind-numbingly dumb Zemo’s whole breakout was and how TFATWS once again shoved characters into a plot point instead of building a coherent plot around the characters, or even at minimum give adequate justification for plot events.

Bring some tea because the salt is strong with this one.

1) Why did Bucky go to Zemo?

“The world’s biggest expert on super soldiers” — no that’s BS, he wasn't even interested in (doubtful whether he even knew of) Bucky and the Winter Soldier program until he read through Hydra’s files (on which he had only done ONE YEAR study). Sokovia did not have a Winter Soldier program, you’re telling me that Zemo knew more about super soldiers than Bucky (70 years) and Isaiah (70 years), more than scientists who ran the programs in Russia/USA/CIA, more than Sam and other people who've lived with super soldiers for years? Get out.

"Hydra was my people and Zemo is an expert on Hydra" -- if they had kept the cut scene from CACW then I'll accept that Zemo is an expert on Hydra, but the only Hydra expert they had access to? Not Wakanda? Not Nick Fury? Not any contact Bucky might have known through, ya know, actually having been in Hydra? Not any contact Sam knew from Natasha, the military or the Avengers? Not anyone else with an intelligence network that functioned in the last 7 years? But it had to be Zemo the Special Ops guy from a nation that no longer exists and who's been stuck behind bars for 7 years? RIGHT.

While we're here, let's not gloss over the deus ex machina they pulled to get Bucky to bring Sam to Isaiah (*covered in my long Isaiah rant), only for Isaiah to give them the singular clue that "your people experimented on me". Only then does Bucky have an epiphany that Hydra might be behind this. You're telling me Bucky, the first known unwilling subject of Hydra's super soldier experimentation, the lone surviving super soldier created by Hydra, imprisoned and experimented and used by Hydra for 70 years, did not come to this conjecture first? And had to be told this?

UGH.

2) Why was Bucky allowed to visit Zemo alone?

As you said, the influence Zemo has over Bucky is well-known. Sure, Zemo was incarcerated in a German prison and Bucky was being monitored by the US government (ie 2 separate governments), there's still no way that a high risk prisoner like Zemo could receive visitors without special approval.

Now, the last time Bucky was in Germany, he razed through an entire compound of highly trained professionals including several enhanced people. You think Germany will let someone like that just walk in by himself unmonitored to speak to one of their worst criminals, especially the one that made him go into an uncontrollable rampage? I DON'T KNOW I GUESS GERMAN LAW ENFORCEMENT IS JUST AS INCOMPETENT AS THE WRITING. Sorry to all my German mutuals.

3) How did Zemo talk Bucky into agreeing to let him out?

As discussed in my previous meta, taking down super soldiers was never CACW!Zemo's goal. He was more focused on breaking up groups that represented foreign paramilitary intervention. The Flagsmashers, at that point, was engaged in theft and robbery but were clearly trying to support disadvantaged refugees like themselves.

Even if we accept that Zemo's goal had evolved during his 2-7 years in jail, why exactly did he want to leave jail? We can head-canon all kinds of possibilities, but the presented fact is Zemo escaped jail when he heard about super soldiers, then calmly took himself back to jail before he wiped out the super soldiers, all without any sort of in-story, in-character justification provided.

It makes even less sense from Bucky's end. This is the same story that had Bucky in tears trying to see if the mind control had lifted while Zemo's greeting was to recite the words to him. The imbalance in their dynamic was existent in CACW and was shown to not have changed. There is no personal motivation or justification for Bucky to bring Zemo out of jail. Bucky's unlikely to have the knee-jerk "must hunt down all super soldiers" reaction when he didn't bother Isaiah. The best justification is if Bucky worried about Hydra being back again -- except the plot makes every effort to avoid mentioning Bucky's dislike of Hydra.

This is worse when you realise that the only time Zemo's physical presence was required was to find Selby, whose importance in the plot is reflected in the length of her screen time - MINIMAL. Nothing around Selby's appearance made narrative sense or added anything positive to any of the characters - including Zemo, Bucky, Sam and Sharon. She was a waste of screen time and her leering at Bucky while Zemo fondled his chin was one of the most repulsive scenes in the whole series.

4) Why was Zemo allowed to roam about without any repercussions?

Alright, maybe the post-Blip world is just astoundingly incompetent, from the GRC, the lack of response to Zemo's escape, no background checking for Sharon, to the apparent ease for a bunch of teenagers to infiltrate a high security multinational conference using a smartphone app. I guess maybe that's the moral of the story? The government isn't intentionally malicious, it's just f*cking useless.

Zemo is a dangerous terrorist who planned a bombing attack on an international convention and caused the death of at least one country leader, with 80 other casualties who are likely to also be dignitaries. You're telling me Germany and Interpol are just wringing their hands while he gallivants around Europe? He's literally using his own estates and jets, and no one is batting an eyelid as he crosses borders??

See, there are two scenarios about this -- Sam patches this up by applying to make Zemo's temporary release official, hence there's no manhunt, but if that's the case Wakanda and Walker should be able to understand that Zemo was being marched out for the purpose of an investigation, because it's not unusual for criminals to be used like this. The other scenario is this was never made official, which explains Wakanda's anger, but not the inactivity of the rest of the world, or the fact that the three of them were wandering through Riga like they're browsing the Saturday markets. Like can you imagine the foreign diplomacy nightmare this was going to be?? Oops Germany misplaced the criminal who blew up the UN and he's been jetting around all of Europe and Asia but LET'S NOT DO ANYTHING ABOUT THAT. Maybe the scriptwriter just really hates Germany I don't know.

5) What did Zemo's presence achieve?

The truth is, quite a lot, and his actions were pivotal to drive the Flagsmashers plot forward. But none of the actions had to be done specifically by Zemo, because a) it didn't fit with his previous motivation and b) it took the focus away from our main characters. He was the one who executes Nagel -- why not have Bucky do that? Or even Sharon if you don't want Bucky to kill? Zemo coaxes the funeral place out of the kids -- a perfect chance for Sam to showcase his communication skills. Zemo destroys the vials -- either Sam or Bucky could do this. As I've said before, the Flagsmashers plot is carried by Zemo and Walker, with Sam and Bucky rendered completely passive, which makes NO sense when you consider the title of the show.

I could go on, but Zemo's existence in TFATWS was one of the most infuriating aspects about the show. Not to mention what it rewrote of his characterisation, it broke Bucky's (and Sam's) characters to let him out, provided no justification for him to be there, let him - now a privileged white man - talk over Sam and Bucky about supremacy, then be the central force driving the plot forward. This is protagonist treatment in a show where the two eponymous protagonists are relegated to passive watchers, and that just leaves a bad taste in my mouth.