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sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee · 10 months ago

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How would Riddler (which one is writers choice) react to a SO who drops those slightly infuriating jokes? (I just saw a post asking how you make an egg roll and the answer was 'push it' and I just think his reaction to those kinds of jokes would be hilarious)

"Groan-worthy" Riddler Party x Reader

Dude I'm such a sucker for Riddler's it's so difficult for me not to wanna go "my choice? all of the above" when it comes to that man. So you're getting all of them short and sweet!

TW: None

60s

Gotham

Takes him a second. Oh, you like puns? He gets that sheepish little smile and compliments how clever you are. It's much harder to come up with those than one would think! You have to have a good sense of word play, formatting of the joke and-

Oh, he's rambling. Yes. It was good! If it's a particularly bad one or he's stressed, he might give you an annoyed look. But normally he'll just smile.

The riddler who appreciates it the most! A lot of his riddles dance along the line of being riddles and those kind of jokes. Part of why he's always laughing! Puns and double entendres are his bread and butter.

The two of you will have each other hyena cackling to the point people can hear you from another room. There's definitely a jealousy amongst others that the two of you can find so much joy in each other over something so goofy.

Capullo

You would think he'd be way too cool for that and genuinely, he will attempt to act like he is. Try to fool you.

Then you tell just the right joke that's incredibly cheesy and he doesn't guess the punchline before you say it. You hear this deep ugly snort and then he's covering his mouth.

His jokes aren't necessarily groan worthy, they're just really fucking nerdy in a way that makes you roll your eyes when you get it.

Telltale games

BTAS

Audibly groans. You think that's cute, don't you? Then you notice he's smiling. He can't help it, you ARE cute. Even when you're being silly he can't help it. It's charming!

He likes to think his jokes are higher end but... they're verbose and require just a tad more thought. Still slightly infuriating.

Just looks at you. You can feel the judgement seeping into your soul.

If you REALLY enjoy them, he'll tell you dad jokes that are just awful. Terrible. But he tells them with a completely deadpan face reminiscent to "and don't call me shirley."

Batman 2022/Nashton

Arkham games

ANNOYED. Particularly if at any point he thought the joke was a real riddle or a genuine question. Yes. Ha ha. Word play. If you excuse him, he has real work to do and you're distracting him.

If he actually hurts your feelings with the attitude... he does an incredibly tired sigh, "I was going to tell you a joke about time travel.... but you didn't like it." Mini jazz hands. There. Did you like that one? What? Was that one not bad enough?

Autism. Look okay, we can say that for almost every riddler to an extent but this is the kind of shit he hyperfixates on. You've seen his cards? "I'm mad about you" "but it might spoil the chemistry" with a mad scientist on the card? UGH. He loves it.

Rhyming, puns... he gets SO excited. You know, he's never had someone to share these with, so once you do with that first joke... you see his eyes practically dilate like a cats. His time has arrived. You're about to get SO mad.

#riddler #edward nygma x reader #gotham riddler #btas riddler #capullo riddler #60s riddler #telltale riddler #arkham riddler #2022 riddler #foxwriting #riddler party

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sweetlikehoneystingslikeabee · 11 months ago

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Can we get Riddler's reaction to SO coming home with an injured animal, maybe with a side of 'no, we are not keeping it' but they end up keeping it anyway?

"We are not keeping the damn thing-" Riddler Party x S/O

Oh this is something I'm very familiar with LMAO. I tried to include a variety of animals here.

Not to be lame or a square or w/e but as a general reminder, if you ever find injured wildlife, please contact your local shelters or animal control. These are fantasy scenarios and in most cases- wildlife is either better left alone, you will need strict temporary guidance or they need to be taken care of by professionals. In many places, you need a license to care and keep undomesticated animals.

TW: animal harm and abuse, mentions of dog fighting, medical procedures

Gotham

It all happens so quickly one day when the pair are driving in Gotham. His S/O notices what looks like a small brown bundle in the middle of the road and panics for Edward to stop. Before he can really get an explanation, they're shouting over their shoulder about a turtle, taking off their jacket. Then he's the one panicking as he watches them stop traffic to scoop up the animal.

The painted turtle has a huge crack in it's shell and a hurt leg. Not knowing what to do, they take it to a vet to see if anything can be done. Surgery, a fiberglass covering... A free sexing to determine the turtle is otherwise a healthy girl. Edward is already devouring the informational packet given to him in the waiting room. A lot he already knew but, well, it pays to learn more!

He's probably one of the few riddlers that doesn't actually say "no we can't keep it." There might be a brief moment where he questions his S/O if they even want a turtle- for the most part it's kind of... fascinating? They keep visiting the turtle in the hospital before she's released and he asks so very many questions about care and what they've been doing for her-

Before it's even been officially decided she's coming home and not being released back out, he's getting a tank ready. Heat lamps, a UVA/UVB light, pond, a dock for basking. A very strange amount of decorations related to questions marks and his special interests that you might not expect decor for.

This turtle won the lottery. She gets a very fancy omnivore diet with vitamin and mineral supplements. He even ends up cultivating species appropriate plants in the tank for her to enjoy and snack on occasionally. She's never bothered much other than the routine tank cleanings. Edward just likes watching her and watching his S/O gush over how pretty she is.

If anyone asks to pick her up, he will give a speech on how actually, human contact stresses them out so if you could never ask again, he'd appreciate it. He intends on her making it many more decades despite not having any clue how old she is now.

Penguin is going to hear so many fun facts about turtles now. Oswald might consider trying to murder him... again.

60s

A baby bird that fell from it's nest. He watched as his S/O tried and failed to reintroduce the bird back to it's mother. He even helped them weave a fake nest and put it up in the tree to see if their parents would take the babe back. To no avail. He was prepared to comfort his love if the little thing passed on.

Yet he watched his S/O roll up their sleeves and start making a nest of their own. A heat lamp that was originally used for one of Edward's plots, now for the chick. He insisted they could probably find someone to take care of it. He's certain he could light a cigarette in a public place and get Batman's attention if they wanted a more heroic figure for the job. With a sidekick named Robin, surely he has a thing for lost little birds.

Birds aren't really his thing, you see. Not part of the gimmick. He has nothing against them, love, but... perhaps Penguin? Still no, huh? The determination of his S/O is rather inspiring, even if it goes against his own wishes. Feedings every few hours, changing papers and blankets. Checking the crop. He noticed the collection of bird care books from Gotham Library.

He starts feeling more affection for the thing once it grows fluff. As his S/O gently holds his hand out to teach the bird to step up. There's something endearing about all of it. How passionate they are. How could he truly say no? It's when the feathers appear and the soft cries begin that they confirm they have a little mourning dove.

In devotion to his partner and their new animal child, he sets up a bird cage and perches himself. Reads the same care books, albeit in half the time. Once the time is right, he even builds an outdoor cage to allow the bird fresh air and stimulation that is safe from predators.

While he doesn't appreciate the mess the bird leaves, he doesn't mind the shoulder buddy. It does, however, make him slightly less intimidating towards Batman, as if he needed anything to help with that.

Zero Year

His S/O had a habit of bringing home animals. They had some... special certification, he wasn't paying terribly much attention to what- What it meant was that after they moved in together, there would occasionally be a small furred or feathered creature in the spare room off his workshop that needed to be bottle fed. He wasn't sure how he felt about the habit. It was something he almost admired. Wanting to care for something small and weak. Yet it was a vulnerability he could see being taken advantage of.

Good thing he's such a pleasant and non-needy personality that doesn't need all his S/O's attention! He lived with it. Perhaps he was better for it. Personal growth... even if at moments he felt jealous and despised it. He supposed they needed a hobby of their own considering how his "hobby" was so all-consuming.

Then they brought home the red fox. A fur-farm rescue. Nowhere else to go, they said. Edward tried to put his foot down. How would they even care for it? A fox... Ridiculous! He also knows it can't be tossed back out into the wild. It would die. His stubbornness holds even as he watches his partner cut their hands open on wire fencing to make an enclosure.

It isn't until they ask him, truly ask him, if he hates that they save animals. Seeing the pain in their eyes and sensing the possibility that they might even leave- he makes a decision. No amount of avoiding annoyances is worth losing the one person he truly trusts in this life. He builds an outdoor enclosure with catch doors and even sits down with the thing.

Winning him over was as simple as the vixen stealing his screwdriver and laughing at him as she played keep away. He was irritated with her, at first, yet as he caught her and all she wanted was pets and affection... He supposed it was also cute the way she would hoard boiled eggs out of his hand. Alright, maybe, just maybe- Maybe she could stay. Only out of his good will.

He gets to a point where she'll sit in his lap while he trims her nails and brushes her fur. His S/O can do the yucky medical stuff she hates, this is his time.

BTAS

It was a kitten that set his life upside down. His partner, his darling beloved, found it abandoned and hypothermic in a box after a storm. No indication of mother or another human coming to find it. His eyes weren't even open. A little tuxedo that mewled for any kind of nourishment and warmth. Edward was ready to call Selina to come pick it up- until he remembered she was currently incarcerated by Batman for a diamond heist.

It wasn't his bathroom being overtaken as a quarantine zone that made him upset. It wasn't even the alarm that went off every two hours for feedings, even in the middle of the night. No, it was how exhausted and emotionally tired his S/O looked after two days of taking care of him. When he said they were not, could not keep the cat, his partner insisted on doing everything themselves.

He was regretting it, to say the least. At 3am, while he was working, he could hear the alarm going... and his S/O snoring through it. With a sigh, he turned it off and began to prepare the formula. He went through the steps in his mind as he had seen his partner do for the past week and a half. Feed, burp, stimulate for the bathroom, make sure he's warm. Then he got in there and found a creature shouting and demanding to be fed and loved now.

Putting the kitten on his chest, watching his ears wiggle and feeling the tiniest muffins being made on his chest... that was the moment he fell in love. In that instant, he understood. This little sootball that looked like lint that exploded in the dryer- he was worth the hardship.

After that, Edward took on the nightshift for his partner. A few more weeks and their schedules could get back to normal. Ish. And their fancy well dressed man could be released into the rest of the house to cause chaos galore. Kitten energy is a bit too much for Edward, but he adjusts.

Telltale

When his S/O had stumbled into his workplace, bloodied and holding a blanket close to their chest, he feared the worst. He was prepared to dismember whoever had done this to his partner- and then they mentioned it wasn't their blood. Irritating, yet relief flooded his system.

He cleared a nearby table and watched as his S/O unraveled a bleeding, wounded dog. Struggling to breathe. Whining. A prong collar embedded into its neck. In the haze of panic, he extrapolates that his partner found it thrown away like trash in an alley. Even in this state he could make out the bite marks of other dogs on her body. Dog fighting.

Yet the mottled colored mutt seemed disinterested in attacking, even in this vulnerable state. Had she already given up? He was prepared to euthanize her himself until his partner looked at him with wet eyes asking if there was anything he could do. A tired sigh.

He knew some people with the proper equipment. Yet even as he contacted them, he insisted the two of them were not keeping the dog. He would help take care of the dog. Then they would figure out where she could go.

This lasted until one night in the lab as he sat at his desk, he felt a heavy head lay on his leg. As he looked down, there she was, staring up at him- tail wagging. Even after everything they'd put her through... she was putting all her trust and affection in a human. He would never admit it, but it reminded him of himself in some small way towards his S/O. Finding that love after pain atop of pain.

He stopped mentioning getting rid of the dog. Insists no one else will want a former fighting dog, so she might as well stay. It has nothing to do with how she cuddles between her "parents" on the couch. That she'll fetch things for her master with a dopey pleased look. And of course not because she gets accustomed to waking Eddie when he's experiencing night terrors associated with his past. Lowkey she's his emotional support dog and he's her emotional support human and his S/O gets to watch that relationship bloom.

Arkham

Despite Edward's lack of care towards the many strays in Gotham, his S/O seemed rather enamored with them. He comments that they should leave feeding the mangy things to Selina. Yet, he doesn't stop them. Then there was one cat in the neighborhood that wouldn't escape either of their notice. A mean feral that wouldn't let anyone near it. He'd wait for everyone else to eat food before picking off scraps.

He thought it was sort of charming how his S/O asked him for a trap to catch the beast. He asked them why they'd bother. It would appear the creature had gotten an eye injury, likely from fighting. He'd never expected them to actually catch the beast, no matter how genius his craftsmanship on the trap. And yet...

One eye enucleation and spay surgery later, his next question was when they were going to release the cat back out. Or call catwoman to deal with it. As his S/O told him neither would be happening, he began to try to put his foot down. No, never. You will not be keeping him. If they'd really wanted a pet, he could make one! Not this... possible mixed breed of a wild cat with a domestic one.

Fortunately they had a small spare room they could clear out for a kennel to allow the cat some comfort while he healed. Edward would listen as his partner going into the room and cooing. Followed by hissing and "no... No, c'mon-" and more bargaining. He shook his head. What were they expecting? You can't just bring a creature like that back with that kind of hate.

It isn't until one night when he's working that he hears... a meowing. It's strained and croaking. He goes to inspect the room and seen the one eyed cat staring up at him. A soft meow. Then a head bonk on the cage bars. Yet as he knelt down, the cat reared back and hissed.

Over the next week, he would visit the cat with his S/O. He noticed this scraggly, scarred cat looking up at them. Hissing less and less. Hesitantly approaching until his S/O was able to touch his head. Then they heard it for the first time: his purr. It was then Edward knew he was not going to be able to get rid of this ugly as sin cat.

The cat absolutely chose his S/O as his person, but that doesn't leave out Edward. The cat likes sleeping on some of his machinery when it's warm. Jumping on his shoulders when he falls asleep at his desk. Edward finds himself petting deep into his now-soft fur when he's stressed.

Selina will give him so much shit about this cat. Forever.

Batman 2022/Nashton

His S/O found the little creature after a dog had gotten hold it. A possum joey without a mother anywhere in sight. A few calls later, a wildlife shelter visit and lots of stress and worrying, they were told the possum was going to live... But not in the wild. There was enough damage to its body that even after healing, he might not be able to defend himself properly.

Edward tried to reason why it should stay with someone else. They'd have better care. They'd become an education ambassador, maybe! He... It's so tiny and fragile, and that makes him so nervous.

Edward is projecting a lot of feelings onto this little thing that mostly wants to hiss and cling to his sweatshirt. He'll just fuck it up, you know. The problem that arises is too many rehabbers in the area are full up. There might not be any space for the little guy- Faced with the possibility of euthanasia, Edward's S/O looks at him with dewy eyes.

How can he say no to that face? And the face of, he supposes, their newest companion. After faking some paperwork and certifications, they are bringing home a small possum.

Over time, he ends up relating a lot to the possum considering their reputation. They're just scavengers! They can't even get rabies! Yet everyone just seems to hate them for being born. He knows what that's like...

He does so much research on dietary needs since possums require such a variety of care. Protein, proper phosphorous levels, fruits and veggies. He really likes feeding him cooked chicken hearts out of his hand. Since they walk so much in the night, he makes an exercise wheel for the little guy to use. Builds climbing walls and poles for him to hang from if he wants. His S/O gets to help hammer nails in!

Sometimes Edward's S/O is looking for the possum and asks Edward... only to see a little black and white head poke out from his hoodie. The two of them know they won't have the possum for long (in the wild, they only live around three years!), but he's kind of used to shorter lifespans with his rats.

He's going to make sure the years they have, though, are going to be enriching and full of happiness.

#gotham riddler #60s riddler #zero year riddler #capulo riddler #btas riddler #telltale riddler #arkham riddler #batman 2022 riddler #riddler #foxwriting

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