#so even for the purposes of the joke he can drive. just not legally.

[rin-the-shadow]

So going back on my "What if Robin and the Riddler had to team up because Batman was incapacitated?" bullshit again. But since the original image that inspired it was the one of Riddler and Molly (in disguise as Robin) wearing helmets in the car, I am now envisioning this:

Riddler: *Giddily climbing into the driver's side of the vehicle*

Robin: "...Are you sure you should be the one driving?"

Riddler: "Of course. You don't have a license, do you, Boy Wonder?"

Robin: "I have a learner's permit."

Riddler: *triumphantly raising a finger.*

Riddler: "Ah, but you do not have a licensed driver in the car, and unlike you, I have no qualms about breaking the law!"

Robin: *snaps fingers in annoyance*

Robin: "Holy misdemeanor!"

[goodluckclove]

Migration Patterns - Second Prologue

What's after the last prologue? Another prologue? How experimental.

I enjoyed writing this even though it hurt a bit. It's a great intro to a young Ollie so you can all see how painfully down bad she is for Scott despite him literally being born connected romantically to another human being.

She'll tell you that everyone had a crush on Scott at some point but that is factually untrue. It was just her. She likes weird guys.

Songbird Taglist hop on hop off let me know babbyyyy

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@fukurouonthesea

Prologue

Ollie Goose Bergeron moved carefully up the path to the Kaufner house. Her natural gait and speed in the forearm crutches was negated by navigating yard clippings damp from that afternoon’s rain. It was frustrating – though not as much as falling on her ass would be now of all times. Nevertheless, by the time she made her way to ring the front doorbell Ollie was guilty and annoyed as well as very out of breath.

The door opened. Tenzin Onyilogwu appeared, smelling of paint thinner, a can of energy drink in one hand and a frown already firmly planted on her face. She stared at Ollie for a too-long while of tense silence.

“Is Scott home?” Ollie asked.

More silence. A slight twitch in Tenzin’s brow. “No,” she said.

“Fuck, Ten, I can see his skateboard by the stairs.”

Tenzin looked over her shoulder at the worn, old-school deck board propped up against the small side table behind them. She sighed.

“He’s, uh…” She began vaguely.

Ollie shifted her weight to rest more against one crutch and gestured dismissively. “He’s pissed, I know. I’m here to apologize.”

After checking whatever Tenzin felt she needed to check, she slipped outside and closed the door behind her. She took a seat on the bench on the porch and, quietly grateful to get off her feet, Ollie followed.

She brushed a few curls of golden-brown out of her eyes, heaved one braced foot over the opposite knee, and rubbed her fingers into the muscles just below her knee. She regarded Tenzin warily, searching her best friend’s demeanor for any sign of how hard Ollie would have to apologize.

It was impossible as ever. For someone who presumed themselves to be neurotypical Tenzin was near impossible to read most of the time.

“Was there a fight at band practice, or something?” Tenzin asked after some more uncertain silence.

Ollie sat up. “He didn’t tell you?”

“He stormed in and went straight to his room. Didn’t even close the front door,” Tenzin sipped her drink and fiddled with the can. “Was someone out of tune? I still can’t figure out the type of thing to really upset a musician.”

Driving here Ollie was dreading having to defend herself to Tenzin. Realizing that she’d have to explain herself first was way worse. She scanned the yard ahead of them and tried to make out the lawnmower tracks in the grass as a way to focus and build up nerve.

“I gave some – constructive feedback…” Even acting as her own legal representation Ollie couldn’t say that with full sincerity. “I made a little joke about the new song he pitched.”

She purposely avoided eye contact as she said that, but that wasn’t enough to avoid the low suck of breath Tenzin drew in from beside her.

“It doesn’t – I don’t even think that -” Ollie groaned and tried again. “He’s brilliant. He’s a brilliant artist, everybody knows that.”

“Hm.”

“But three months out of the year, every year, the only songs he wants to write are about sad birds. I mean –” she scoffed, glaring in disbelief at the dead air ahead of them. “Two-thirds of the year we’re a rock band –”

Tenzin cut in quietly. “I don’t think that’s the genre he claims to use.”

“Avant-Pop Cabaret, whatever. But from October to December every year we suddenly only make songs for – fucking – emo birdwatchers? What the fuck?”

Her anger felt good. It felt normal. Of course, she was expressing it by the sibling least likely to encourage such intense emotions. In Tenzin’s presence the fire in Ollie’s chest quickly lost oxygen and fizzled out to pathetic smoke. Ollie slumped her shoulders and leaned back against the chair.

“No wonder he’s upset,” Tenzin observed. “You know how sensitive he gets about his bird songs.”

“He’s seventeen. Why are these the songs he suddenly can’t take criticism on?”

Tenzin met her eyes, unsmiling. “You know why,” she said.

After some more pestering Tenzin allowed Ollie to come inside and make amends. Ollie was already arguing with Scott ahead of time while working her way up the stairs. She was declaring to the imaginary Scott in her head all the effort she put just to value his feelings. Driving her grandpa’s car up the stupid hill that lead to his house. Walking up stairs.

He literally had no reason not to forgive her immediately.

She didn’t bother preparing. She didn’t even stop to knock. Ollie opened Scott’s bedroom door and braced herself for conflict.

His bedroom was small and warm. The only light came from the dirty glass of the window and the tangles of string lights, and the air smelled odd from the combination of two, ill-paired scented candles.

Scott Skylark Kaufner was sitting up in bed with the covers pooled around him. He was shirtless, which she supposed she should’ve expected.

Ollie tried very hard to hold onto her indigence. What mattered was resolving this conflict as quickly as possible, not charting the new, soft dusting of dark hair across Scott’s bare chest. She was here to either apologize or insist she was right – either way, her goal was not to gaze as the soft-sharp intensity of her childhood friend’s mostly-nude body.

His expression was sullen. After a moment, he pulled back the covers in bed beside him. Ollie swallowed hard in a way she hoped wasn’t noticeable.

“You’re at least wearing boxers right?” She attempted.

Scott furrowed his brow. “Yeah,” he murmured.

Ollie nodded and went to plop on the side of Scott’s large bed. She slipped off the crutches and leaned them against the closest bookshelf, then took a soft breath and slid under the blankets.

They laid beside each other. Ollie kept just enough distance from him so that all she felt was the outer radius of heat from his body. She reminded herself of the stakes of their relationship. It felt like she was doing that a lot lately.

“I’m sorry,” she said.

“I know,” Scott rubbed his eyes and shifted onto his side to stare at her. “I overreacted.”

That got a weak smirk out of Ollie. “You and I tend to do that, don’t we?”

“Is Aggie okay? I know she doesn’t like it when I yell.”

Ollie thought back to the glare their saxophonist gave her. So many adults in town thought Agaric was so sweet, just a natural teddy bear. If that was the case it was definitely never something Ollie got to see.

“She’s getting really – uh,” Ollie scooted a little closer and lowered her voice. “I’m kind of worried. While I was taking her home she said she skipped another level in her close combat classes. I think one of these days you and I are going to butt heads and she’s going to legitimately kick my ass.”

She saw Scott start to smile, but shift at the last second to appear disapproving. “Maybe she’ll beat me up first,” he claimed, balling up the covers under his chin.

“Oh yeah,” Ollie scoffed. “You? Sure. Definitely.”

It was always a sight to see Scott’s features warm suddenly in satisfaction or amusement. It was a subtle narrowing in the eye and crinkling in the corners of his lips that completely changed the way he looked. The cat-like warmth had the capability to be so sweet that some in town gently questioned whether he was misguided in identifying as a man, even just for now.

That was never Ollie. She knew Scott to have an innate sense of his own masculinity in a way that Ollie never had and never will. And she loved him for it.

“I only tease you because you’re amazing,” she said, feeling her voice soften and inwardly chiding herself for it.

Scott cringed, then smiled sheepishly.

“I mean, come on,” she pulled the covers away from Scott’s face to get a better look at his eyes, “even at your most self-indulgent you’re fucking incredible. That’s why no one else tells you when you’re being self-indulgent.”

He hid back in the blankets. This was breaking the sacred covenant of having such a close relationship with someone like Scott Kaufner. You’re welcome to make music with him on a potentially indefinite basis on the condition that you don’t point out his skills. It’s perfectly fine to call him handsome or dashing, but get any more specific than that and he’ll get uncomfortable quick.

Ollie got closer to the blanket covering his face. “Hey,” she said.

“It’s not my self, Ollie.”

“I know, Skylark,” she frowned, forlorn, only because she knew he couldn’t see. “I mean – I don’t – but I get what you mean.”

After some time Scott felt more comfortable coming out of hiding. Their faces were closer now. Ollie did not intend to get as close as she was just then.

“Maybe...Maybe you’re just stressed,” she attempted, mostly just to fill the air. “I mean we graduate soon. A lot of stuff is changing. I know a lot of us are on edge thinking about – I don’t know. What we’re leaving behind.”

Scott’s eyes widened slightly. “You aren’t leaving, are you?”

Something twisted in Ollie’s chest. A flicker of several sensations at once. The worry in Scott’s expression was heart wrenching and incredibly confusing.

What if she was? What if she was going someplace far away – and she was leaving tonight? Would Scott try and stop her? Would he make some grand gesture in an attempt to convince her to stay?

A short debate on how to respond felt far longer in her mind. Finally she found herself defeated. Ollie exhaled softly and flashed Scott a reassuring smile.

“Nah, Skylark, I’m not leaving.”

For good measure she reached forward underneath the covers and touched Scott’s hand. She only meant to barely interlace their fingers, but much to his character Scott locked their hands together and squeezed tightly.

Ollie laughed under her breath. She had to, there was just no other option.

“I’ll stay around for as long as you want,” she said.

[devisopod]

Levity Creek!

Chapter One (?)

Grammar? I hardly know 'er

I really need to brush up but we're going right for it instead. Don't know how often I'll update this, or if it'll get any reception at all. Here you go, folks! Don't expect too much to happen right away.

____

Entry 1.

You know, I'm not even sure I could tell you the last time I spent three hours on the phone with someone. Let alone someone I felt growing further from my touch each year, but it was like the connection never really left as soon as we spoke. Hell, it felt like a blessing to hear from Fiddleford — some kind of proverbial spark reignited. Sounds silly, but I swear it's like we were kids all over again.

He always was as friendly as they come, and damn it if I didn't looked up to him for it. The guy could make a friend quicker than I could get my mouth open. Then again, I hardly ever did open it.

Fiddleford's still everything I knew him to be, actually. I guess I'd just been afraid that we were too different nowadays to be as close as we were. After all, he's got a kid now. Tate. How about that?

In his fashion, he forgot why he called me until the very end. He landed a freelance job up in Oregon that he wants my help with. I don't think I've ever agreed to anything quicker. If it'll get me outta here for a while, it's a gift.

I'm heading for Oregon tomorrow. Hope my van makes it.

___

If it weren't for the obnoxious rumble of the engine and the undeniable need to keep the vent windows open to accommodate it, I might have been able to hear the radio. Every now and again, I manage to hear the static of leaving and entering broadcast range — sometimes a dull guitar riff, but nothing satisfying. The speaker nestled in the driver's side has been busted for as long as I can remember. I think I've started to enjoy complaining about it, so I reckon that's why I never fix it. No, instead, I get to sit with my thoughts and a rattling doghouse. In hindsight, it was a miserable choice to make for such a long drive.

In fact, driving from the East Coast to the West Coast in a metaphorical brick, which reaches fifty-five miles an hour on a good day, is undoubtedly one of the stupidest decisions I've ever made. Sure, I could have flown, but then I would have left this marvel of machinery behind. And what am I without my office?

From floor to roof, I'd turned the back of my van into a space as comfortable as my apartment back home. More often than not, I spent my time in it. As long as I could hook it up to a power source, I could relax on the beanbag chair and type for hours. I've gotten better sleep and more work done in the back of this van than anywhere else to tell you the truth. At least, that's been the pattern so far. I'm starting to hope that Oregon changes that. I could use a change.

While I'm excited for the job, it's bound to be a big adjustment. From what I understand, which isn't a lot mind you, Gravity Falls is the town sending out contracts for the construction of the software service. When Fiddleford mentioned the name, I thought he might have been joking, but then I got the document in the mail. It looked incredibly legal, not to mention formal, for such a small job in a place that can only be described as "nowhere". Then again, most places were keen on adapting to new systems so they don't get too far behind.

It sort of made me wonder if the whole "nowhere" front has a purpose. After all, I did sign something that effectively mirrors an NDA.

By the time I reach Oklahoma and park, I recount that I've stopped about ten times for one reason or another. I had stayed in Memphis last night, which wasn't much of an annoyance, but the stops prior had been. A flat tire, the engine stalled, I suddenly really had to use the bathroom. Though that last one seems more like a poor lunch decision, I could almost swear that it was like the universe telling me to turn around and go back home before I got too far. I'd considered it while cursing over the carburetor as it hissed at me.

The only reason I still lay here in my motel with the intention of continuing tomorrow is for Fiddleford if nothing else. I called him when I first got here, half ready to let him know that it's just not a trip I can make, but he sounded so excited that I couldn't bring myself to crush his enthusiasm. He was already planning things we could do and prattling on about places he wanted to take me. The thought of disappointing him seemed wrong.

Pushing the covers of the stiff bed down toward my ankles, I roll onto my side and stare out the window. Each time I shift it feels like I'm getting further from sleep. Either the matress springs make an unholy creaking noise, they press into my back, or the people in the next room over get rowdy.

Eventually, I decide it isn't worth it. If I can't sleep, I may as well get going. So, I grab up my keys and my bag and sling everything into the passenger seat. Slamming the driver's side door shut behind me, I gas up the engine while it whines and protests before it finally relents. It isn't until then that I actually let some relief wash over me.

"I know you're tired," I mumble, "but I gotta get the hell outta Oklahoma."

I started hearing the radio a little more clearly after that.

NEXT

[gladosluver]

storytime/lore: i was followed home

IMPORTANT INFO: my region has no sidewalks, so to get home everyday i cross the roadway (legally) and 100% do not trespass at all. if i had a car to drive, i would, and if i could take the bus, i would, but public transport doesnt pass through this part. IF YOU HAVE A CAR, YOU ARE USING IT. THERE IS NO REASON YOU SHOULD BE WALKING AROUND WHERE I LIVE.

okay onto the story now... my school is in another region so a bus brings me from there to another school, and i walk from that school to my house (about 10 min walk). today while going home i was waiting to cross the VERY BUSY street, and i see an all black LARGE VAN stop 40-50m away from where i was and this guy, also dressed in all black, steps out. and he started walking MY direction

(artist rendition below. thats my ugly persona btw i dont look that nice. those are also my beautiful eyes <3 sorry for staring into them without permission.........)

now like.. thats so weird. SO WEIRD. theres no reason you should be walking when YOU HAVE A CAR. ive lived here for at least 7 years and i have only seen someone walk on this road ONCE.

since i wait right next to the road im 1-2m away from oncoming traffic. its dangerous. now im waiting for all the cars to pass so i can (legally) cross the street, and at this point this random guy is like 20m away. luckily all the cars passed and i (legally) ran fast as hell across. i walked about 3 blocks before turning around and HES STILL FUCKING THERE. WALKING ON THE OTHER SIDE. PICKING UP THE PACE AND LOOKING AT ME.

this was in BROAD DAYLIGHT. additionally there was an event going on IN FRONT OF THE SCHOOL where LAW ENFORCEMENT came over to educate the kids and was showing them different police cars, fire trucks, etc. WHY ATTEMPT TO FOLLOW ME WHEN THE POLICE ARE RIGHT THERE??

so i texted my friends. i have 2 irl friends i talk to outside of school. ive got like 5 irl friends in total so there wasnt really anyone else i could cry for help to, since my parents are at work for most of the day and night, and i have almost no living relatives here

about 4 blocks from my house i pass an intersection that goes into another neighbourhood where there was a someone in a car waiting for their kid to be dropped off. i speed-walked 3 blocks down and when i turned around there was ANOTHER RANDOM ASS GUY at the intersection looking in my direction. he looked like he was being yelled at by the guy in the car (i guess he suspected he was following me). the intersection is also at the top of a hill with some trees in the way, so when he looked away I RAN FAST AS HELL ACROSS THE ROAD.

i didnt even care that there were 6 cars coming from either side. i just thought "if i get hit, i get hit. if its my time to go then so be it" but halfway through i remembered something. you wanna know what i fucking remembered? what made me break out into a SPRINT? i have undiagnosed health problems that make walking up STAIRS a challenge, and i you wanna know why i started SPRINTING AS FAST AS I COULD? i remembered that stupid danganronpa dub. i thought of how disappointed everyone would be if i literally got kidnapped and never got to finish it. so i ran. i ran home. i got inside, shaking and panting heavily, which didnt stop for hours, but at least i was safe. at least i could finish it. my true purpose....... dubganronpa...

the reason i took to tumblr was because i literally had nobody else to tell. again, i know like. 5 people. i worded this post so cryptically because i didnt want anyone to be concerned if i just blurted out "SOMEONES FOLLOWING ME I THINK THEY MIGHT KIDNAP ME" so i said it discreetly and kinda goofy so yall would KNOW something was up, but in a half-serious half-joking way cuz thats how i cope with awful strange events in my life

it left me with so many questions.. why would you stop next to a busy road to walk somewhere when you have a car CLEARLY available? theres people who like <1 minute away from the school who use cars because walking is so dangerous. the only reason i walk is because I LITERALLY HAVE NO OTHER OPTION. walking anywhere in my region is BEYOND a last resort. hell, ive contemplated driving illegally before i decided on walking home.

i cant even think of anything i did wrong to get followed by some strangers. to my knowledge, i havent done anything to piss anyone off since first year. why me? what do I have that YOU want.. i just dub danganronpa anime and give it more homoerotic undertones.. is that really a crime?

now that im thinking back on the incident i realize i did have a few certain long sharp objects in my bag that i cannot name here (for self defense and also art supplies) AND MY BAG WEIGHTS ALMOST 3 KILOS?? IF I WHIPPED THAT AROUND AND HIT SOMEONE I THINK IT WOULD DO SOME DAMAGE

anyways im safe. for now. this weekend is going to be spent emailing my school asking them to make a bus stop at my house since the bus literally PASSES my house on the way to the school. i dont live in a neighbourhood, i live on the side of the road. its right there. why cant they drop me off man

GLADOSLUVER OUT

[beautifulpersonpeach]

Um, expound on their sex drive BPP. Please? The sex drive for all the guys. Tell us the rank.

You can't just say stuff like that and leave it like that. The people want more even if your blog is a bit more grown up than that you have to give the people what they want. Please.

**

I mean, I can do whatever I want.

Lol.

But someone else did ask in the replies to the Yoongi post...

Thinking about it more now, sex drive isn't even the right phrase (I truly wish I could speak from experience but there's no way I'd know guys...). It's more like their apparent or perceived horniness, stamina, and likelihood of being a simp.

It's not a big deal either way... so here goes:

Namjoon > Hoseok = Yoongi > Jungkook = Jimin > Taehyung > Jin.

Cliff's Notes:

Namjoon - His earlier + pre-debut songs are really something else. Lol. He's calmed down in the last 6 or so years but make no mistake, he's a freak. (Non-derogatory) I doubted his stamina in their earlier years but lately, I think he'd be up to any challenge.

Hoseok - I've mentioned Hobi and a braided flogger in the same sentence on this blog before. I stand by what I said.

Yoongi - The tongue technology bit is cliché, but I think it's important to remember he and Hobi are very patient men, they are thorough, and Yoongi does in fact have immaculate enunciation and diction. All of which suggest his tongue technology is legit. Plus he's a gentleman who doesn't discriminate - boy or girl, you're fair game.

Jungkook - He's very athletic, seems to have boundless energy with not enough places to put it, he's a hopeless romantic who for some reason likes being strapped into things.

Not really important, but Jimin likes tying things up.

Jimin - Also very athletic, he's packing aka endowed, you couldn't name a bigger simp (non-derogatory) in BTS for the maknae (see the latest RUN BTS episode as case in point), he's an incredibly thoughtful person with very kissable lips. My opinion. His touch on most things is almost painfully gentle, so gentle it begs the question: who exactly does he touch like that?

Tae - Another romantic and the taeconda is real. He's an incredibly touchy person, sensitive too, and for some reason I think he's a cuddler. He'd take every opportunity to be the big spoon and would nuzzle your hair till you fall asleep. I feel like Tae, after Jin, is the most likely to lead with his head before his cock - the rational, restrained type.

Jin - The most endowed in BTS. He could be the thirstiest, but he's the most enigmatic in this sense to me and that's why he's placed here. Jin is actually very mature and upright/proper despite all the sometimes poorly-timed dad jokes, which in a way makes me think he could be the most domineering in bed. He's awfully considerate though and would offer the best aftercare. Possibly.

*

For legal purposes, this is a joke. Thank you.

[castor--writes]

ok ok wait wait wait. could you go through your list of mcyt and give headcanons for what you think each one would be like on road trips? thank you!! <3

i really love this request omg i ended up rating the quality of the trips and idk what i was using to judge the quality of your trips but i did it anyway i wrote this for dream, georgenotfound, eret, wilbur soot, tommyinnit, tubbo, and ranboo

------- 

Dream • absolutely a driver • i think he'd joke about driver controlling music but he's a simp and he'd let you play whatever music you want • would act like he didnt like stopping at roadside attractions but he would have the time of his life as soon as he stepped out of the car • holds your hand while driving • has absolutely tried to lean over to kiss your cheek on empty stretches of open road and you have to smack him and tell him to stop being an idiot and just pay attention to driving jesus christ dream you'll crash the fucking car • over all 8/10 just please keep your eyes on the road, lover boy Georgenotfound • lmaooo dude has no driver's license • rides shotgun the whole way • buys lots of snacks i think • idk what music he listens to but his playlists are either fantastic or awful and he switches between them regularly • is pretty indifferent about roadside attractions • like, he's down to go and has lots of fun every time but also is chill not going and actually making it to your destination on time • probably naps in the car • 9/10 pretty ideal passenger Eret • switches places with you so neither of you drive for too long • will hold your hand and give it kisses, whether he's driving or not • has pretty chill playlists, definitely a lot of good songs on there • also very much enjoys listening to your playlists • you guys probably switch who gets the aux cord when you switch drivers • doesnt seem like a car sleeper idk • if they notice that you're asleep, they'll pull over and cover you with a jacket or a blanket if there's one in the car so you dont get too cold • 100% down for roadside attractions • 10/10 wholesome trip Wilbur Soot • definitely a driver • holds your hand or rests his hand on your thigh while driving • he brings the good playlists and you bring purposely bad playlists and you switch between them all the time • it makes for a very interesting drive • i think he's less excited for roadside attractions but when you get near the exit and you give him big puppy eyes, he just kinda says fuck it and ends up having a great time • legally not allowed to sleep while driving but if you convince him to take a break, he'll probably fall asleep but denies it to his dying breath claiming he was just resting his eyes • 8/10 admit you're asleep fucker you sound like my grandfather Tommyinnit • i dont think Tommy has a license either • i think you two only go on road trips if your parents take you • even if theres only the driver in the car, you two sit in the back together bc it makes for easier access to mess with each other • you probably listen to whatever music the driver puts on or you share earbuds and listen to like. teen songs. idk what the youth listen to • very chaotic • lots of yelling • you two caused the driver to almost crash once • you weren't allowed to ride together for like. six months after that • might end up asleep on your shoulder if you're driving late enough • definitely denies it • has a list of roadside attractions he saw on previous trips that he didnt get to go to and tries his damnedest to stop at as many as he possibly can • 8/10 good time, except for when you've almost crashed bc you're both being too loud so maybe dont do that again Tubbo • also cant drive so you're probably riding in the backseat with your parents in the front again • usually much more chill than tommy but is still fairly chaotic when he wants to be • i think you two let the driver pick music and then share earbuds while showing each other funny videos on your phones • falls asleep on your shoulder and admits to it bc hes not a coward • has been known to sit in the middle seat for better hugging access bc leaning over a whole-ass middle seat to cuddle someone isnt fun or easy or comfortable • probably researched the route you were taking and found some cool roadside stuff and asked the driver about it beforehand so yall have a plan? but then you get on the road and he asks to go to all of them instead of just the ones that were talked about • 9/10 really nice to ride with for long periods of time Ranboo • idk if he actually has a driver's license or not but he vibes like he does • will take you to mcdonalds at two in the morning and calls it a roadtrip adventure but doesnt really wanna drive very long distances so long road trips with him are definitely driven by your parents • hits his head on the ceiling a lot • you tease him about it relentlessly but will also kiss the top of his head to make it feel better bc you're a good friend • i definitely think you guys do weird voices together and i dont know why • i also think you're more likely to fall asleep than he is so if you fall asleep on him, he'll just get really still and quiet so you dont wake up • is excited about roadside stuff and is kinda bummed when you cant go but it's not a big deal • 10/10 great car ride buddy

[ffamranxii]

HAIKYUU!! COUPLES HEADCANONS

DAISUGA

-Daichi goes to the gym to work out. Suga goes to the gym to ogle Daichi

-Suga has a massive sweet tooth

-Daichi cooks, Suga cleans

-Suga is a little shit who is not above seducing Daichi in public. He can say the most lewd things without batting an eye while Daichi blushes furiously

-Daichi and Kuroo once hooked up at training camp. They do not talk about it

-Daichi is good friends with Michimiya and Kiyoko. Suga is closer to Asahi

-Daisuga rarely fight and are often asked for relationship advice. Daichi tries to discourage this because “guys I didn’t realize Yui had a crush on me or that Suga was in love with me for three years.”

-Daichi can’t dance, won’t dance, and refuses to acknowledge the time he got trashed and twerked

-Suga dislikes his given name unless it’s said by Daichi, who is the only person allowed to call him Koushi

-Suga is extremely flexible. Daichi is not.

-Daichi or Suga getting hit on makes Daichi uncomfortable. Getting hit on amuses Suga, and Daichi getting hit on makes him horny

-It took all of high school for Daisuga to get together, because Daichi is oblivious and Suga assumed Daichi wasn’t into him. Daichi’s dumbness and their mutual pining becomes a fond, shared joke several years later

-Daichi has no gag reflex. 

-Daisuga have a very fat, very orange cat named Ninja. He’s surprisingly fast and agile despite looking like a furry basketball. (Daichi is a dog person and did not even want Ninja at first. He suspects Kuroo had something to do with this. Suga sometimes playfully gets upset because “Ninja likes you better than me, Dai!”)

-Everyone expects Suga to be the dominant one but Suga is more than willing to be submissive for Daichi and has on several occasions

ASANOYA

-Noya gets up before sunrise to run. Asahi would rather die than leave his bed before 8am

-Noya turns the coffee pot on and cooks breakfast to lure Asahi out of bed

-Noya is surprisingly patient, gentle, quiet, and kind when it comes to Asahi and his insecurities

-Noya is the type to bottle his insecurities and fears until they explode. The only one who can calm him back down is Asahi

-Asahi makes bratty faces when he thinks Noya isn’t looking

-Noya and Tanaka spend a lot of time with Daisuga because of the Daichi&Suga&Asahi&Kiyoko friendship. Asahi and Ennoshita become good friends

-Asahi doesn’t understand the distance between Noya and his sisters because Asahi is very close to his

-It is impossible to embarrass Noya

-Asahi gets a lot of inspiration for his fashion designs from traveling with Noya

-Noya knows how to braid hair and likes to play with Asahi’s

-Asahi enjoys physical affection but dislikes overt PDA. Noya would happily climb Asahi like a tree in public if Asahi would let him

-Only Asahi calls Noya by his given name

-Noya knows he likes Asahi early on but Asahi’s panic (“omg someone LIKES me?? NOYA likes me?? My crush??”) at his confession prevent them getting together until after the Date Tech match (after Asahi rejoins the team).

-Noya is affected by wanderlust and that’s why he travels. Sometimes Asahi joins him. They get married in Canada during one of these trips. (I once read a fantastic asanoya fic where a significant event happened in Canada so Canada is my asanoya place now)

-Noya sends Asahi a postcard from every place he’s ever visited. Sometimes he’ll spend over half an hour trying to find the *best* one, only to buy them all and send them as a sort of big long letter. Asahi saves them all in a photo album that lives on the coffee table. (Some people have a coffee table book, Asahi has a photo album.)

-Noya prefers to top. The one thing he’s really uncomfortable with is being on the bottom (physically laying beneath someone and also sex).

KUROKEN

-Kuroken have a black cat and a calico and enjoy naps on the couch with the kitties. Kuroo has SO MANY pictures in his phone of Kenma curled around the kitties.

-Kuroo: “Love you.” Kenma: “Hate you.”

-Kenma CAN cook, but likes that Kuroo likes taking care of him

-Every game Kuroo has ever owned is multiplayer because he only games with Kenma

-Kenma’s favorite games involve critical thinking and puzzles. Kuroo enjoys watching him play

-Kuroo is an introvert masquerading as an extrovert. Kenma is an introvert. They enjoy quiet nights in.

-Kuroo has anxiety. Kenma always knows when Kuroo is anxious and how to fix it

-People make Kenma anxious. Kuroo makes himself anxious.

-Kenma’s nicknames for Kuroo are Kuro and Koroemon. Kuroo calls Kenma Kyanma and kitten

-Kuroo has been in love with Kenma for as long as he can remember, since they were kids. Kenma knows this, but doesn’t understand he feels the same way until Kuroo goes off to college

-Kuroo is the one who discovered Daichi’s lack of gag reflex. He’s delighted to learn that Kenma lacks one as well

-Kenma moves more slowly than Kuroo. He’s not as comfortable with physical affection and sex as Kuroo is. Their relationship progresses slowly, and Kuroo lets Kenma lead. 

-After Kenma’s confession, how he feels about Kuroo is one of the very few things Kuroo does not doubt or make himself anxious over.

-Kuroo can, will, and has go(ne) on and on and ON about Kenma until someone shuts him up. It drives Yaku up the fucking wall in high school.

-Kenma does a retro game stream once or twice a month made up of games he and Kuroo used to play as kids. Kuroo actually games with him on those days and Kenma’s followers are quick to notice and speculate because Kenma has literally never gamed with another person in the same room before. Sometimes Kenma can only post the actual gameplay because Kuroo ruined the footage of them by being excessively sappy. (Kuroo is NOT above flirting and dirty talk to get an edge and Kenma doesn’t really think his fans need to know that.)

-Kuroken do not talk about Kuroo’s mom or sister

-The Kozumes love “Tetsu-chan” and Kuroo’s grandparents adore Kenma. Kuroken get along with each other’s families better than they do their own.

-Kuroo is tactile. He’s that ass-slapping friend. Kenma thinks he’s ridiculous

-Kuroo used to be dislike Hinata, because Kenma and Hinata are extremely good friends and Kuroo was afraid Hinata would take Kenma away from him. Kenma has assured him he doesn’t like Hinata like that but Kuroo doesn’t warm up until Hinata starts dating Kageyama

BOKUAKA

-Akaashi is 100% in charge of the house and the financials and his word is law. Not because he’s an asshole but because Bokuto is whipped

-Akaashi is a screamer. Bokuto has a big dick.

-Bokuto is the calmest between him and his sisters. His sisters have formed an Akaashi fanclub

-Bokuaka kiss a lot during sex

-Bokuto fucking loves owls

-Akaashi used to be embarrassed over being a manga editor but Bokuto thinks it’s the coolest job ever, “even better than mine!” When his authors need references, Akaashi sends them pictures of Bokuto. Bokuto takes this responsibility very seriously

-Bokuaka exclusively refer to each other by first name but Akaashi can’t break the habit of using -san

-Akaashi and Kenma are very good friends. Bokuto thinks they might even be better bros than him and Kuroo. (Kenma is one of the few people Akaashi calls by first name, and one of the only people who calls Akaashi by his.)

-Akaashi overthinks as a result of anxiety, but he doesn’t think he has anxiety. He prefers to call it “seeing the issue from all sides”

-Akaashi and Bokuto do yoga together. Bokuto behaves himself surprisingly well around Akaashi in yoga pants

-Akaashi decided to attend Fukurodani after watching Bokuto play and literally for no other reason

-Bokuaka are the embodiment of love at first sight and their relationship has an unreal, almost storybook quality to it because they are literally perfect for each other. Because of this, Bokuto doesn’t understand why other people struggle so much to start and maintain a relationship, no matter how many times Kuroo tells him “just because your relationship is straight out of a movie doesn’t mean the rest of the world works like that”

-Bokuaka have a koi pond in their backyard and have named all the fish. Bokuto always asks about them when he’s away for games

IWAOI

-Iwaizumi cooks and cleans because he’s always been the one taking care of Oikawa, but he refuses to fold the laundry because “I’m not doing everything for you, you fucking freeloader”

-Iwaizumi cooks healthy “old man food.” Oikawa’s sweet tooth suffers

-Oikawa is that guy who puts more cream and sugar and other additives in his coffee than actual coffee. He’s tried all of Starbucks’ seasonal drinks and never gets the same thing twice

-Iwaoi have very heated arguments about if Godzilla can kick King Kong’s ass or not. Iwaizumi of course sides with Godzilla

-Iwaoi once fought about the original purpose of Stonehenge and now no one can mention England without it coming back up

-Oikawa only became comfortable with his glasses because Iwaizumi likes them

-Iwaoi have been friends since they were in diapers. The whole volleyball team took bets on when they’d announce their relationship

-Both the Oikawas and the Iwaizumis respond when either boy calls for mom or dad. Oikawa calls his sister Nee-chan while Iwaizumi says Oneesan

-Iwaizumi’s favorite of Oikawa’s features is his legs. Oikawa is in love with Iwa’s arms

-Neither of them can remember when they started liking each other or how their relationship started

-Iwaoi are shockingly codependent and do NOT do separation (during university in Argentina/California or for away games) well

-Deep down Oikawa is extremely insecure and worries he isn’t enough - in volleyball, in school, in his family, in his relationship. Iwaizumi always knows when he’s putting on a front and how to cheer him back up

-Iwaizumi is secretly so soft and weak for Oikawa

-After the Olympics Iwaizumi moves to Argentina to be with Oikawa and they get married. They move back to Japan after Oikawa retires from volleyball and after gay marriage becomes legal there

-Oikawa keeps various plants around the house and the patio and is extremely proud of them. He paints all their pots and even names some of them (which Iwaizumi thinks is disgustingly cute). His most prized plant is a lucky bamboo he bought on a whim when iwaoi first moved in together.

-Oikawa can’t deepthroat. It makes him so jealous that Iwaizumi can

-Iwaizumi blushes whenever Oikawa gives him a genuine compliment

-Iwaizumi has a praise kink. Oikawa has a “whatever comes out of Iwa’s mouth” kink

-Iwaizumi has dom tendencies.

[onihcinimkcin]

This is absolutely true, and super fucking frustrating—perhaps more so because there's a degree to which it's inescapable.

A slightly older journalist once tried to clarify to me something about legacy publications by relating a decidedly pre-Internet joke that went something like "as long as there are kids moving to the city after college, Vice will have a built-in customer base."

Obviously, what the internet broke about that was not the built-in customer base—it was the monopoly of legacy periodicals on dissemination of information.

In other words, one inescapable facet here is that the number of people who have not encountered media studies 101 is always increasing at a faster rate than the number of people who have encountered media studies 101. (Obviously, this is true of all sorts of information, especially if it is to any degree historical.)

And whether it's via a 1990s print article, or a Buzzfeed Community post, or a YouTube video, there seems to be a serendipitous collision of curious people who want to share what they've learned (regardless of how accurate, let alone comprehensive, it is) and other people who are curious to learn whatever things through a (sorry) gatekeeper but not to do the reading themselves. (r/TodayILearned, which currently coexists with whatever form du jour, is further proof. And frankly, each of us has specific topics for which we are in the latter group, so it seems unproductive to blame them per se.)

What drives me fucking crazy is the elision (by editors, writers, whatever) of "new to me" and "new." When I get cynical I feel like it must be purposeful, but let's be honest: most of us are not very well informed about anything, and there are plenty of culture creators that i would rank a standard deviation behind, depending on the subject. And on some level these regurgitators, whatever their form, are simply meeting the audience where it is. No one who watches YouTube analysis is going to read an old Buzzfeed post, just as no one reading Buzzfeed posts was going back to magazine articles, just as no one reading magazine articles, etc.

To be clear, there is a logic to the cynicism: You can't sell subscriptions or ads to something someone else did that happens to be new to you. Ironically, the direct plagiarism of James Somerton really underlines that the work of reading something and summing it up for someone else is work, and in particular, it's work that people consider valuable above and beyond a legal framework. (And many of his most blatant errors underscore that he didn't actually do that work himself.)

But in ~the marketplace of ideas~ that means that if I publish something for which media studies 101 is a prerequisite, I'm already a specialty publication with a limited audience, so in terms of impact (let alone monetization) I'm dead in the water. (I can envision one exception: building an audience that grows with me, so I do media studies 101 first, and then people like my article/video/whatever and keep following me, and then I can say "building on my previous video" or whatever. But that still means I'm doing yet another regurgitation of media studies 101.)

Honestly this is kind of what has led me to follow a lot of the people I do on Tumblr and elsewhere. They are where I try to be: realizing their thoughtful, interrogative analysis has no audience and writing it anyway.

And yet, even within that framework, I would need more than two hands to count on my fingers the examples of good analysis on social media that has been lifted, in part or in whole, occasionally with citation but often not, by academics. Some have become so demoralized by this—understandably—that they have simply stopped.

I guess all of this is to say none of this is new and I hope someone else sees a way out, because I don't!

When i started youtube i did a survey of video essays to make sure like what i wanted to do wasn’t already being done.

And i looked at a bunch of black and queer video essayists in particular to see the field.

i did watch james somerton’s knock off Celluloid Closet video and i clocked it immediately like girl that’s everybody’s first intro to queer cinema. the doc was put up in 10 min chunks on youtube since 2006. they put the whole thing up on youtube the same year it lifted the 10min limit back in 2010. you not slick!

but every other queer film person on youtube does it too. they’d be nothing without Vito Russo. And they take from b ruby rich’s new queer cinema reader. that’s the scope of their understanding of queer film. And in the NQC reader there’s an essay on Queer Third Cinema which is just queer cinema of the Third World….which is a complete misunderstanding of Third Cinema. the NQC reader had its share of critics at the time of its publication. but they don’t know that.

And the black film people are hopelessly trying to reinvent Donald Bogle. every black video essayist has their own proprietary trope that is a manifestation of a tom, coon, mulatto, mammy, etc. There’s a reason bogle was, in a sense, generic because how these tropes continue to live change with the times but the core remains the same.

I’ve seen videos about the LA Rebellion as a movement from UCLA. I can’t remember if she said it in spirits of the rebellion or w/e but Julie has a line that goes something like “we weren’t a movement just a bunch of black kids at the same film school” and everybody hated UCLA. The LA Rebellion happened in spite of UCLA. Elyseo Taylor, who headed the program that we attribute to the LA rebellion —the ethnocommunications program— was fired after a year and the program shut down at the same time because the white failsons of producers weren’t getting the special funds the “blacks” were. And the LA Rebellion existed outside of UCLA too. The major actors of the movement studied or worked at The Performing Arts Society of LA (PASLA); Larry Clark taught cinematography there as well.

i know the hbomberguy video is about plagiarism but the other major issue with the youtube video essay industrial complex is that it’s giving “hey guys i’m taking media studies 101 and i just learned something that’s gonna blow your mind! It’s called the male gaze”

[hexfloog]

The unchild

chaos.

disclaimer #2: i’m not sober again

if they were real i would be afraid of them

• tell me you wouldn't also be afraid of the 7 year-old who can probably recite building code and moratorium declarations to your face on command

they're like a blorbo to me / i want to carry them in a handbag like a tiny dog

• in spite of ^^^this,^^^ he is baby............... i want to smoosh him and nuzzle him like a pet T.T this is how i came to own a child-sized cone

they're deeper than they seem

• shinichi's most obvious, surface-level flaws are his stubbornness and, ironically, his own moral code (which can often lean into gray morality, but is no less relentless than if it were more black and white). they're both big driving forces behind his tendency to jump headfirst into danger, in spite of his analytical skills. combined with his formidable wit, he ends up a sharp character without a lot of wiggle room to volunteer compassion, but that amount is not zero.

• .........idk, how to say this.  shinichi suffers from shonen main character syndrome in that the show likes to flaunt his main character appeal and little else.  a lot of him is hidden beneath that and if you want it you have to WORK for it. for example - the show tends to play vulnerability for laughs-- not all the time, but a lot.  like what reason would shinichi have to be so pointed and overachieving in everything he does.  on the surface, the show tells you oh, well, he’s a bit cocky.  which... yes, but there’s probably ulterior motives to that, buried beneath layers and layers of bullshit that he himself probably doesn’t recognize: perhaps a staunch refusal to be caught in a position where he can be trampled (maybe after spending many childhood years watching ran go through it?), perhaps to claim some semblance of control over his life-- and by extension, to eke out of the shadow of his parents' legacy?  to predict every possible angle, every possible outcome, to protect any and every place he could possibly be wounded, so that someone like his father can't exploit it under the guise of some fucked test of character?

wasted potential / i like them enough to project my own issues onto them / nothing i like about them is technically canon

• i have my fair share of identity issues. a lot of them have to do with passion and purpose. cone/shinichi is nothing BUT an identity crisis and his need to suppress his real identity in all facets-- smarts, emotions, personality quirks-- only causes additional issues to surface as he continues to pretend being something/someone he isn't. does this even count if he's already canonically a Huge Mess??

• as is my usual spiel surrounding shinichi/conan he has all the ingredients for a fully-fleshed, canonical identity THING but it's never taken as seriously as one would reasonably expect (in the same way kogoro's alcoholism is often played for laughs). who wouldn't consider that massive, wasted potential. on a more macroscopic scale, the damage he causes vis-a-vis this implied identity crisis is also never coaxed out from under the rug and is either dismissed or swept back under it.

• in fact, this show is SO guilty of keeping things surface-level that tbh I think it relies on reading between the lines to keep its fandom space ablaze, at least to some degree. this show takes so much that would ordinarily be considered cause for concern and spins it into a joke or something far less consequential. shinichi's internal identity crisis is entirely implied afaik and i just take that and run with it (looking at you, desperate revival). incidentally this implied conflict is probably what i like most about him, with his dorkiness a close second.

wow! they are a horrible person

• do i really need to point out the real-life years of gaslighting and lying, not just to law enforcement/legal entities, but to the person he considers to be the most important to him. i mean i know he means well by it but it's sooo wrong and sooo damaging... like ran can keep a secret, can’t she??  does he fear that she’s too emotionally compromised or something??? (being emotional =/= weakness???? wow that’s an assessment a girl like ran doesn’t need to hear holy shit) 

• even worse, this boy tends to be witness #1 to the direct fallout (not just from ran but from everyone), he's GOTTA be more than aware of the consequences of what he's doing (and...tbf i think he is, at least when the show wants to milk that for something)

• in that regard, he may be horrible, but not irredeemable; he's nearly given up at least twice because the emotional burden was too much, but my brother in christ....... you started the lie:

'i can't do this anymore.'

why do they look like that / they are sooooo cool looking

• dork-ass bow-tie wearing BITCH (affectionate)

• i say this like babby hex didn't have a HUGE crush on shinichi during her first detco phase, and as if this pre-existing bias/his appearance has no bearing on why he's still my favorite *sweats*

• just to incriminate myself even more i literally just watched ep.400 and reeled at seeing shinichi again for longer than a few seconds, even if it was just in flashback.  i watched almost all the shinichi episodes first and haven’t rewatched most of them since so my lizard brain is probably thirsting over here and i don’t even realize it until he appears onscreen again

i'm mentally ill about them

• have you seen my body of detco art/writing and who stars in 90% of it

they work better as part of a dynamic

• for the most part i feel that shinichi is enhanced when he interacts with someone else.  as the protagonist he can already carry himself but i always seem to enjoy him exponentially more when he gets to butt heads, be challenged, or cooperate with someone else as one half of a duo (and specifically a duo, bc with larger groups the focus dissipates. like with the detective boys he tends to vibe more as group dad/big brother/a chaperone):

○ haibara: someone who relates to his existential dilemma. she's a moral challenge for him as someone whom he would've--and almost did--without a doubt condemn to super hell at first sight.  how would pre-moonlight sonata shin have reacted to her?  her history is behind her, but can he forgive that, even if she knows she's completely renounced the old ways?  her time at the BO/her status as creator of APTX is a stain that can't be washed off the record just as a matter of fact, it's up to her found family to scrub it on a social level and sometimes i wonder if shinichi is up to it, even after the slight revisions to his moral code.  the BO in general has a strange way of bringing out some rarely-seen behavior in him, so i do wonder... when it comes down to it... yeah this isn’t how murderer!shinichi was birthed at all

○ heiji: someone who shares his passion for detective work and treats him as an equal.  i could argue this is because he sees right past the veil of conan, but... i don’t really think that’s entirely true.  he seemed to respect conan even before the truth was confirmed.  imo heiji’s a challenge of companionship for him, being one of the few he can be freely open with-- and thus vulnerable-- at all times.  when he’s alone, or around most others, shinichi is forced to wall himself off to avoid signaling the likenesses to himself, so i think being close with someone he can trust with the full truth is like opening a faucet and trying to temper the flow when you’re not sure if too much or too little has come out.  is that even a coherent metaphor t.t 

○ kaito: someone who challenges his wit enough to make him a tantilizing/worthy opponent.  heiji was this once, until he assumed the companion role.  kaito is also something of a challenge to his worldview, there’s probably some overlap there with haibara regarding his moral code (are there any other criminals he’d willingly cooperate with, or even be so sure of their principles that he’d -mostly- trust them around people in general? i mean it’s not like shinichi really has a choice when he he gets to a point when he has to partner up with kaito but... you know what i mean, he’d probably give up his life before partnering up with other criminals).  what he provides shinichi that haibara can’t though is a test of passion, and... maybe by extension, self-restraint, in relation to that passion and defiance of private morality.

well, i am not immune from conan/shinichi fever nor do i claim to be even in the slightest.  the show is named after him for a reason and clearly he must have some power over me if i fell in love with his character twice, with 15ish years between each instance.  even so, i think he’s weirdly underutilized-- or at least i think his full potential is underutilized.  for a protag of a show running for 25 years there’s a surprising lack of exploration of anything beyond surface-level, whether that’s his character on its own merits or in relation with someone else.

it’s a shame, but luckily the character is popular enough that discussion is not difficult to find among fandom spaces, mine included.

thank u for asking about my blorbo <3

[sabo-has-my-heart]

Wait! Can we have ancestor or spirit sabo x reader with fluff 3? Maybe he died during a revolution 200 yrs ago and he meets reader and realizes she his soulmate(but sadly fate was cruel to them)

I REALLY tried to make this fluffier, but he's a spirit in love with the living, so it turned out kinda sad. I'm so sorry.

Watching your energy at the rally, Sabo couldn’t help but wish he was alive again. He remembered having that same energy and drive a few hundred years ago during the revolution. Granted, things had changed since the revolution, people fought with words, social media, and legal battles instead of gunpowder, swords, and strategic battles, but the attitude, the energy, the purpose, it was all the same. As a Guardian Spirit there wasn’t much he could do to help, no matter how much he wished he could, so instead he watched as you fought for your cause with the same intensity and fire that had once burned inside himself.

As soon as you were home, collapsing on the couch, Sabo made himself visible to you, smiling as he sat on your coffee table.

“You know, if you weren’t dead, I’d worry about you sitting there.” you said, sitting up a little as you rolled your shoulders, trying to relieve some of the tension.

“If I weren’t dead I’d probably be giving you a back rub and helping with the rally.” Sabo joked, a smile on his lips as you chuckled.

“I suppose you have a point there. Thanks anyways.” you said, shooting him a smile.

“It seemed to go well today, you did great. I may not know much about modern day rallies, but I thought you looked great out there.” Sabo said encouragingly, making the smile on your lips widen.

“I thought so too, but I’m worried that it’s not enough. I know everyone is trying their hardest and that there’s only so much we can do, but what if we fail? What if nothing changes?” you admitted, running your hand through your hair, hand getting caught on a few tangles before Sabo finally grabbed your hair brush, sitting behind you and brushing your hair. He wasn’t physical enough to give you a back rub, but ghosts could still lift things, allowing him to brush your hair, something you always found soothing.

“It’ll be okay, you won’t fail, I have faith in you and your cause. Besides, if I had worried about failing, I never would have fought for what was right. Win or lose, it’s the fight that counts, with every heart that you reach, the fires of change grow until it becomes an inferno that incinerates the corrupt.” Sabo said, making your smile return. He always knew exactly what to say to keep you from giving up hope.

“I suppose you would know, wouldn’t you? You fought for your own justice once upon a time.” you said, closing your eyes as Sabo continued to run the brush through your hair. Sabo nodded silently as you looked up at him briefly.

“Sabo?” you asked, the blond humming behind you as he continued to run the brush through your hair, even though the tangles had long since disappeared, “Do you… do you ever feel like you were born in the wrong time or place? Like… like maybe you should have been born earlier… or later?” you asked, making him stop what he was doing, the brush hovering a couple of inches over your hair.

“Yes, very much so. I would have liked to have been born in your time. The corruption still exists, but the fight is different… the people are different.” Sabo answered, the last part coming out in just above a whisper, “Do you mind if I ask you my own question?” Sabo inquired, setting the hairbrush down before ‘sitting’ on the back of the couch, looking down at you. You nodded, staring up at him curiously. Sabo took a deep breath, if he’d still had a beating heart, it would have been pounding against his ribcage.

“Y/n, do you believe in soulmates?” Sabo asked finally, his cool, transparent hand attempting to caress your cheek. Sabo couldn’t actually touch you, but you could still feel the sensation, like a cool autumn breeze on your cheek. You stared into his eyes, wishing against all things that you could touch him, that when you looked at him, you couldn’t look through him.

“I believe I was born too late to be with mine. I believe… that when I die, I’ll finally get to be with him like I want to. I don’t want to die yet, I still have too much to do in this world, but I look forward to the day when I can hold him in my arms.” you answered. Sabo knew what you meant, knew the feelings behind the words.

“I don’t look forward to your death, but I look forward to holding you as well.” Sabo said softly, leaning forward. He couldn’t kiss you, but his lips hovered just above yours in a pseudo kiss. Your passion, your fire, your energy, it almost made him feel alive again, even if just for a moment before his lack of a physical form reminded him of his predicament. He would never wish for your death, but he would count the days until he could touch you, to give you a proper kiss, to show you how much he loved you, even if currently through death did you part.

[meangan-thee-lesbian]

Gonna get on my Australian politics for a minute here, but the entire media narrative irt That Shooting and how anti-authoritarians are responsible for it is actually getting kinda ridiculous.

But firstly, lemme just express my sympathy for those two fresh outta the academy cops and the innocent old man who died at the hands of these legitimate lunatics. Because I ain’t defending that. What I’m complaining about is the inaccuracy and disingenuity of laying the blame for this sorry situation (and every other sorry situation of the past couple years) squarely at the feet of anti-authoritarianism. 

There is good fucking reason to have a healthy dose of anti-authoritarianism in this country. Increasingly over the last decade our government have be doing some very shady things and quietly bringing in a lot of very invasive laws. For example:

The Greenfields Foundation and all the subsequent fake charities whose sole purpose is to funnel Australia tax-payer dollars directly into the bank accounts of politicians

That time Australia withdrew from widely ratified international treaties so it could take East Timor hostage for its oil fields, and even went so far as to plant listening devices in the East Timor Prime Minister’s office, and when one of Australia’s spies snitched to the East Timor PM about it (bc apparently that was too evil even for an ASIS spy), instead of showing any remorse Australian authorities aggressively pursued that spy and his legal team, even raiding their offices and homes so they could destroy evidence

The ongoing situation where people who are assessed to have incapacity irt their finances (which is often a very flimsy assessment in itself) have their estates taken over by the Public Trustee who then force these unfortunate souls to live in poverty while the government frivolously spends their money, banning them or anyone else from speaking publicly on it, and ignoring/deliberately making it difficult to prove return to capacity

The entire Robodebt Scandal wherein people forced to live in the abject poverty afforded by welfare payments were then deliberately shackled with fake debts by authorities and forced to pay money they did not in fact owe on pain of jail time, a lot of people (myself included) still have not been released from these fake debts

Speaking of arbitrary jail time for Robodebt victims, statistics show that women are twice as likely to be jailed for ‘welfare fraud’ than men and that the ‘welfare crackdown’ (aka the Robodebt Scandal) is pretty much solely responsible for the huge inflation in Australia’s female prisoner population

The continuing wrongful imprisonment of Kathleen Folbigg who was falsely accused of killing her four children and is now halfway through a forty year jail sentence with no signs of authorities intending to release her, despite evidence having since proven her children died of natural causes

And what about the new and extensive laws which punish ‘unauthorised protesting’ with YEARS in jail, especially if any coal mining companies were inconvenienced

That time an Australian politician got upset when a comedian made some jokes about him so he had plain clothes federal police abduct said comedian from his home, assault his mother and his dog in the process, load him into a black car and drive off, and this was all perfectly legal and actually the politician then went on to successfully sue this comedian for defamation

*not an exhaustive list, there’s definitely more

So, as you can see, there is plenty reason to be questioning the Australian government. And yet the primary narrative irt this shooting and any other situation that might make authorities look bad is to blame it on the conveniently faceless boogeyman of ‘crazy extremist anti-authoritarian anti-vaxxer right-wing conspiracy theorists from the US’. Despite that being such a fantastical mash-up of conflicting ideologies, that’s what the media are going with for a strawman (probably at the behest of the government who in fact can utilise gag laws and imprison journalists who don’t comply). 

Without free and open journalism to offer critical insight into how Australian authorities are at fault and could do better you get other explanations gaining traction. And, for certain demographics, these other explanations can seem more believable than the government-approved message. These are demographics who are often from low socio-economic backgrounds (most people living in those Tara bush blocks are living in poverty), are from First Nations backgrounds (the offenders had Aboriginal heritage), are extremely disenfranchised women (Stacey Train was being abused by the male offenders), or otherwise from various vulnerable demographics, aka the usual choice of punching bag for a government whose apparent sole purpose is to move money from poor people to rich people. These are people who know something isn’t right, have maybe already been victims of the government, but perhaps don’t have the education or resources to form an accurate critical opinion. So instead their opinion is ‘I can just not pay my traffic fines and violently defend my land because subsection SovCit of the US Constitution applies in Australia’ or whatever other crazy shit (which tbh as crazy as some of this shit is, the government cover stories are often even crazier, hence why we got articles about anyone without a sewerage connection being sus)

So when the Australian government has displayed such an obvious lack of transparency, when they keep making mistakes and trying to cover them up, and even when they can no longer hide they don’t show any remorse, no matter how blatantly evil the shit they’ve done is, then you can see why their favourite demographic of underdog punching bags might develop some reactionary views.

In any case, I think rather than trying to turn anyone questioning the Australian government into the new societal pariahs, a better use of journalist resources would be to seriously consider questions like:

a) how were authorities not aware of previous government employees, who posted frequently about their violent views, and who had been reported to police multiple times

b) what truth is their to the accusation that police had been ‘casing the joint out’, which probably resulted in the Trains deciding to fortify their property

c) who made the decision to send two rookie cops into a ‘routine’ missing persons check (as if there is such a thing lmao)

d) why are Australian authorities trying to purchase the property this took place on, and don’t tell me it’s gonna be a ‘beauty spa for stressed coppers’ when it’s surrounded on all sides by similarly anti-authoritarian preppers 

e) and while we’re questioning the government why don’t we start asking these type of questions BEFORE people start dying, not after, whether that’s irt police shootings or robodebt victims who committed suicide, or people dying of starvation in East Timor as a result of our government’s actions, or people rotting in prison cells despite being innocent, etc, etc, etc

Anyway, call me a right-wing anti-authoritarian conspiracy nutjob, I guess. But imo the Australian authorities are just as responsible for this situation as any ‘crazy hillbillys’, and if they actually stopped for a moment to consider putting the welfare of the Australian people before their profits then this and plenty of other bullshit might not have happened.

[mycrofts-gunbrella]

Remus Lupin x Reader Smut- Full Moon Aftercare

Gif not mine :)

Waking up with the sheets cold beside you had become an occurrance you were used to every month since your secret relationship with your Dark Arts Professor had started. You use the term 'secret' loosely however as your dorm friends all knew what was going on and you were 99% sure all of the staff faculty were aware and just hiding it from the ministry but still, the idea of a forbidden relationship only made it that much more exciting. You'd fallen for him the second he walked through those classroom doors in his cardigan you now steal at every opportunity possible and finding out during you final year at Hogwarts that your feelings were reciprocated was one of the best days of your life. Being 18 your choice in boyfriend was technically legal but whilst you were still a student and on Hogwarts grounds you could never be truly 'official', else the ministry would take Remus' job in a heartbeat- of course it wasn't ideal but for now the both of you were happy to settle with stolen hidden kisses and sneaking to Lupin's dorm of an evening without getting caught out by some worms like Malfoy and his goons.

You rolled over to his side of the bed and laid your face into his pillow, breathing in the scent you missed the night before. Looking out the window you could see it was still the early hours of the morning and knew it wouldn't be long until a blanket clad man was going to walk through the door. Full moons were a tough time for the both of you- albeit Remus clearly suffered a lot more- with your boyfriend returning back from a hard night each time and you patching up any wounds that he obtained on his travels with a bar of his favourite chocolate resting on the bedside counter. This month's was no different as you got up and gathered the first aid kit Remus left at the top of his wardrobe and a pair of his comfiest pyjamas and waited on the end of the bed for him to come through the door.

Barely 10 minutes had passed and you heard the shuffling of your boyfriend's heavy footsteps coming down the hall; you stood to meet him at the door.

"Hey" You smiled sadly as Remus all but limped through the door. He gave you a weak smile in return and softly kissed your cheek before practically collapsing on the bed behind you. "Rough night?" You joked with a side smile as you sat beside him with his pyjamas in hand. You'd almost asked him once why he only hid a blanket out in the forest rather than a spare set of clothes but after seeing him struggle even wrapping the threaded material round his bare frame by himself you cut yourself off.

"Darling you have no idea." He winced as he attempted to sit up, fresh cuts and scrapes getting shifted with each movement. You smiled sympathetically at him as you helped him get into his pyjama bottoms (secret Lupin insight, underwear is a big no after a change, the waistband is far too tight around his aching bones) and passed him a square of the dark chocolate that he'd been eyeing up since he saw it on the counter. You noticed the large cut that was going down the underside of his arm and nodded your head towards it, grabbing the first aid kit.

"Okay I'm sorry, this is going to sting quite a bit at first but just remember it'll be worth it in the end; you'll feel a lot better." You apologised, as you used an alcohol soaked cotton pad to clean the wound before bandaging it up. A small, pain-filled laugh sounded beside you and you turned in confusion.

"Sorry.. I know you're trying to help and I love you for it. You just.. reminded me what I said on the first night you stayed here." He chuckled.

"Remus John Lupin amidst your pain from a bloody long night did you really just answer me with a 'that's what he said' line? You're such a child sometimes." You laughed.

"You know you love me for it Y/N."

"Of course I do Professor." You couldn't help it sometimes, honestly you couldn't. In your defence, after having him as a teacher for so long you just became accustomed to calling him professor when talking to him. Sometimes in private you did it on purpose, especially after seeing the reaction it got out of him when you did it accidentally during the first few weeks of your relationship- let's just say you're not allowed to use any such title in class with Remus anymore.. you'd trialled 'sir' for a while but apparently any such term towards him leaving your lips turns him back into a horny teenager. Apparently even in pain it had the same effect."Y/NNNN" He moaned softly, hanging his head down to try and avoid eye contact with you. You followed his gaze and noticed his half-hard bulge poking at the striped trousers.

"Remus I'm so sorry, it was an accident I swear." You apologised profusely. The two of you had learned very early on that Remus' transition come-down effects him sexually too. The two of you usually have to wait at least 3 days before being intimate with each other as the change causes Lupin to be incredibly sensitive and sometimes even in pain until he fully feels like himself again. It becomes difficult after the first day as his libido skyrockets after a full moon event, neither of you were quite sure why. Sometimes Remus would try to push himself too far but with the mixture of his aching body and the oversensitivity he deals with in his trousers the moment ends fairly quickly with a shout of pain. You'd vowed to make it up to him massively each month if he could hold out the three days because you were always worried that you would hurt him if you tried too soon- that's if he doesn't hurt himself first of course- and the promise was "definitely worth the wait" according to your partner.

"Shh it's okay. I just-ah need a minute." He winced again as he shifted his weight to lay against the headboard of the bed. You nodded and laid beside him, resting your head against his shoulder and lightly kissing the base of his jaw in apology. The silences were there but it wasn't awkward as you frequently tried to talk to him to take his mind off his growing erection (clearly his mind was doing the opposite). The minutes ticked by and nothing seemed to help. "I'm sorry Y/N, you're probably exhausted getting up this early to help me out. I won't be offended if you want to go back to your dorm to get a proper sleep, I'm afraid I wouldn't be such a good host wincing like a kicked puppy every time I take a deep breath. Besides, my uh- problem, shall we say, doesn't appear to be getting any better." He spoke, realising his half-hard erection had grown in the last few minutes rather than going away. The last few weeks you'd been spending a lot of your time studying for your final exams so the two of you didn't really have time to have sex as you were constantly busy. It annoyed you, of course it did, but Lupin understood completely knowing how much your studies meant to you. But he'd be lying if he said he didn't pleasure himself each time in the shower fantasising your previous sexual endeavours and now found his mind wandering back to the old memories as he felt his cock twitch.

"I'm not going anywhere unless you really want me to. It's technically my fault you're even more uncomfortable." You shifted from your position to face him a little more. " And don't you ever feel bad about me getting myself up early on these days to make sure you're okay. I'd drive myself mad if I just stayed in my dorm room knowing you'd come back here by yourself. I love you and I want to help you out as much as I can. I knew what I was signing up for in this relationship when it started and I'm not going to back out." You confessed. Remus gave you a soft smile in return and leaned himself to kiss the side of your head, words often failing him when you speak to him like this as he'll never understand how he got so lucky with such an understanding, loving person. He stifled a noise that sounded a mixture of pain and pleasure at the sensation of his trousers rubbing against him. "Can I at least try to help? Please?" You asked, moving to rest your hand on his upper inner thigh. "I'll go slow and if you tell me to stop, I'll stop." From the corner of your eye you could see Lupin stifling a laugh. "Another flashback?" You grinned. "That's not going to help this go anywhere." You teased, gesturing to the tent in his trousers.

"One of the best." He answered with a smile. He was in pain, there was no doubt about that, but he felt guilty accepting your offer, almost like he felt he was using you breaking your 3 day rule. You moved your hand to the waistband of his pyjama bottoms and looked at him for approval.

"It's probably going to hurt at first but just focus on me and I'll try to make this as easy as I can." You whispered. With a soft nod given as consent you softly put your hand in and wrapped your fingers around his throbbing cock, hearing a sharp intake of breath and a quiet wince from the man beside you. With your spare hand you turned his face towards yours, pressing your lips against his as your other hand slowly made a steady rhythm, causing the older man to eventually moan against your mouth. Your movements were slow. Careful. As you twisted your hand as it reached the head, pre-cum dripped down your knuckles as Remus slowly came undone below you.

"I love you Professor." You turned your head to whisper in his ear as you kissed and licked down his jaw and neck. Your voice did things to him that he would never be able to explain. It usually embarrasses you but knowing it was one of Remus' biggest turn ons you decided to treat him on this occasion, willing to do anything to make this easier for him. "I especially love how your big cock fits in my hand so perfectly, like you were made for me." You moaned breathlessly in his ear as you picked up the pace with your hand. You felt Lupin's big hand come round in attempt to lift your shirt but the pain in his arm stopped him. "Calm down Professor. As much as I'd love for you to fill me up right here and now we need to wait, then you can have me any way you want to remember? Use me as your own personal sex doll over and over until you pass out of exhaustion." You bit his earlobe.

"P-Promise?" He managed to breathe out, any pain he was feeling long gone by his new distraction as his eyes rolled into the back of his head.

"I'd want nothing else sir."

"Fuck Y/N." He swore, moving his head into your shoulder and biting the bit of flesh he could reach. You moaned in response and moved your other hand down towards the front of your own trousers, beginning to rub circles on your swollen clit that had been dying for your attention. "Oh you're such.. a naughty girl Y/N." He teased lowly seeing your actions. "MY naughty girl."His deep voiced words caught you off-guard as you squeezed tighter onto his member, flicking your thumb over the top of his sensitive head as you felt him come close to the edge.

You moaned deeply and pushed two fingers inside yourself, matching the pace of your other hand as you turned your head into Remus' and kissed him deeply.

"I'm almost there." Remus breathed between the kiss, fisting his hands into the bedsheet, angry he felt too weak to be able to touch you properly. "Come on darling, cum with me." He encouraged, fighting back his own orgasm as he watched your hand work steadily on yourself through your trousers. He didn't have to tell you twice. With a few more twists of your hands and pumps of your fingers the two of you came undone, moaning each other's names as you reached your high.

"Feeling.. better?" You teased breathlessly as you grabbed one of the spare cleaning cloths and wiped you both down.

"You could say that." He smirked, slowly letting himself sink down the bed until he was laying completely. You joined him and rested your head on his chest, careful to avoid any fresh bruises. His fingers lazily danced against your hip as you yawned beside him. "Thank you." He spoke sincerely, turning his head to kiss the top of your head.

"For accidentally turning you on and tossing you off when you really needed to sleep? You're welcome." You joked, nestling closer.

"No- well yes actually, for that too-" He laughed. "But more-so for being here every time I get back after a full moon like this. It's nice knowing I'm not coming home to an empty bed every time. You make it almost bearable. I really do love you Y/N, more than I could have ever imagined loving anybody."

"I'll always be here for you to get back to Remus, unfortunately for you you're now stuck with me. I love you too. Now let's go to sleep, you need your rest." Lupin opened his mouth to speak but you cut him off, practically reading his mind. "I spoke to the other professors earlier this week and they've agreed that after seeing me practically hanging out my arse every day after a full moon that I could take the day off to be with you, providing I catch up with the work within a week." You spoke.

"You're truly an amazing woman Y/N, I believe I'd be lost without you."

"You haven't heard the best part yet. I even managed to convince Snape to agree to the deal, with the agreement that I would go to his classroom once a fortnight to make the potions with him that I miss and do a timed essay that the rest of the class don't have to do. I'm more than happy with that as it counts towards my potions studying but I didn't let him see that and let him believe it was some kind of small punishment."

"One on one time with Severus in his classroom eh?" Remus began. "Should I be concerned? That is how we started off after all." He joked. You rolled your eyes and shook your head. Whilst Remus sounded as though he was kidding you could always see the underlying insecurities in his eyes, constantly worried you'd leave him for anyone that didn't have his 'condition', constantly thinking you deserved better- even if it was Snape...

"I'd never leave you for anyone Remus, especially never Snape."

"Oh? And why's that."

"He doesn't like chocolate. Immediate red flag." You grinned, slowly rubbing your fingers along the raised scars that patterned your boyfriend's chest. Another thing he was hugely insecure enough. The first few months you were dating you learned he was even trying to use make-up to hide the ones on his face but you managed to convince him that scars made any man sexier, but the ones on his chest and torso were the ones he hated most- hell, the first few times you had sex he kept his shirt on and then when you finally convinced him to take it off you'd have to be in the dark. But doing little things like now, tracing the map of pink and white lines across his body, memorising every inch of him made him feel better. He let out a small laugh and managed to roll over onto his side and take you under his good arm for a hug, appreciating the smell of your shampoo under his nose as he kissed your head. He really did strike it lucky with you and he loved you more than anything in this world but being here and treating him like you do, Remus finally found himself doing something he never thought he could again. He was starting to love himself.

[leejeongz]

treasure as dads

requested: yes, by anon

🔅i’m only gonna do the legal line for this bc aging up doesn’t really sit right with me anyway nvm when they’re currently minors, i hope you understand!🔅

🪐hyunsuk:

he wants as many kids as possible and he is gonna love them all equally 🥺 but you settle for 2, 2 boys. honestly, they idolise him, but he doesn’t realise it/he doesn’t want to acknowledge it. he plays with them and teaches them lots of things and helps them with their homework when he can. he feels really upset when he has to leave for another country for work but makes sure that he calls every night to talk to you and them. he likes to treat you and the boys to fancy holidays and expensive clothes when he can.

any time he can spend with the boys he cherishes, but he also appreciates just standing back and watching you show off your natural parenting skills too. it really makes him happy to see his little family with all the love in the world being thrown around without even realising. you best believe he’s taking lots of pictures, constantly, of him and the boys or you or anything that he can look back on and remember how amazing that time was.

🌸jihoon:

he’s the parent that your daughter is scared of the most and the one that she will do anything for because of that. he’s super protective over the two of you and hates when fans get a little too invested in your lives. he also hates when your daughter starts dating but you make sure that he doesn’t do anything too drastic. he’s the “leader of the pack” and is definitely in charge at home, whatever he says goes (most of the time lmao he knows his place and he knows you’re always right). it’s all out of love though of course, he just wants the best for her and for you.

he HIGHKEY enjoys parents' evenings and getting to roast your daughter's teacher, even though she always thinks it’s embarrassing and he really is super proud of her development and her learning. he genuinely is interested in everything they say but it always comes to the argument that school and grades aren’t everything and he always tells her that it’s okay if she fails because she tried her best.

⚡️yoshi:

you have one daughter who looks up to her dad a lot. she enjoys spending time with him because yoshi likes to teach her things and likes to share lots of memories with her. yoshi really wants to give her the best childhood, with the most supportive family and set of family friends behind her. he would constantly talk to her and ensure everything was okay, they would be super close and their bond would be inseparable. he genuinely wants the best for her and it shows through everything he does for/with her. he wants to create the perfect family with you, and that’s exactly what he’s done.

he cannot WAIT to introduce your daughter to art and fashion and everything of that nature. he likes to sit painting with them, even if the end result is a brown piece of soggy paper and a headache, it’s still quality time that he and your daughter have spent together. he’s the type of parent to be happy whatever his child does, knowing that their happy is much more important than knowing she’s making money. he hopes that she knows that too, and that she shouldn’t feel pressured to do things just to make him happy, because he’ll always be happy with whatever she’s doing.

🌟junkyu:

it’s twins! 1 boy, 1 girl and junkyu could not be happier. he loves to play around with them and make your life HELL, making a mess everywhere, pulling pranks, even encouraging sassy but sweet behaviour. everything his children do receives a massive “awww” from junkyu, even when they’re doing something really mischievous. he tries his best to be stern with them at times when it’s necessary, but he really struggles with it when they start acting super cute, he’s very forgiving at that moment.

games nights are the nights that he looks forward to the most and asks almost every night do they want to play (of course they’re gonna say yes). even when they grow up a bit, although their love for games may have dwindled, his definitely hasn’t. he thinks they’re so fun to play with and to watch everyone getting along 🥺 he wishes the moment would never end. may also start adding “loser has to…” punishments when they get older and lose purposely just so that they laugh at him.

☀️mashiho:

he’s the type of dad that you also have to treat as your own child. of course there’s boundaries but he’s basically your 5th kid. you have 2 daughters and a son and a pet who you both cherish. he loves watching them grow up with the love of his life and he tells you every day that you’ve made all of his dreams come true. he plays with the children a lot and enjoys being in their company a lot so he really would do anything for them, even if it made him look silly. he cannot hold back his cute outbursts when they hold his hand, it’s his only “flaw”.

as much as he HATES all the spookiness around this time of year, he loves taking the kids trick or treating. he dresses up with them and dresses the dog up too and goes around the neighbourhood with the kids. he also likes to decorate your own house with spooky decorations because he secretly enjoys when they pull their silly pranks on him with the fake spiders and candy eyeballs.

❄️jaehyuk:

from the moment your son is born, jaehyuk becomes the father figure he’s always dreamed of being. he is careful not to let anything come before his family, not work, not friendship, it’s just you, him and your boy 🥺. he can be the stern parent and he can be the nice friendly parent, but he will always be the cool parent who takes him to school in some flashy car. he loves surprising your son with cute little stuffed toys or new clothes and likes to stand and watch over him with you while your son opens them. he’s really proud of who/what you two have created and brought up, it makes him super teary to think about.

he LOVES taking you and your son to the zoo. he really wants him to be animal lover and he wants him to get to see them all. he loves holding his hand while you walk around the grounds and lifting him up to get a better view. he even pays more to let him feed the animals 😭. it’s an educational trip that’s still fun so he thinks it’s the perfect place to take him to.

🌷asahi:

he is an embarrassing dad for sure. you have one daughter and one son together and he makes them both never want to leave the house with him. he will drag them to sing at karaoke, even when they’re young and he will dress up in silly outfits and be like “time to go to the park” while he’s dressed like that. he just wants to make them smile and he knows they secretly find it really funny, he would never actually do anything they felt uncomfortable with. he was pretty worried about becoming a dad but because you were there with him, he could act naturally and without fear.

he really likes whenever he gets the chance to tuck your little ones into bed. since he’s working a lot, it’s a rare opportunity and so he really makes the most of it. he’ll read them a story and when they beg for another, he can never say no. and then he gives them a sweet, gentle kiss on their foreheads before heading out and turning off the light. he thinks about how much fun he’s had with them all day and how cute they look finally getting the rest they need for tomorrow.

🍄yedam:

another embarrassing dad! you are blessed with two children, one boy and one girl, both of which are definitely very embarrassed by their dad. he likes to joke around with them a lot and keeps them both on their toes. but in reality, it’s just a facade to make sure they’re having fun and growing up without sadness. he couldn’t bare to see them down in the dumps, bad days were something that were rare in your household. your kids are both in awe of what their parents have achieved and are both very eager to tell their friends of their successes. you both are their heroes.

his favourite moments with his kids are when he gets to take them (and you) out to look at the stars. he takes you all out in the car in the evening and drives for miles into the middle of nowhere just to let you watch the stars. not only does this give him a chance to appear as the same romantic boyfriend he was before the kids, but also gives him chance to watch your kids appreciating the small but most beautiful, natural things.

[shinebrightlikeanarwhal]

Ok in the last post you talked about Todd like shoving Travis so he would interact with someone he likes and I don’t think it would be larry or sal even though i love those ships but the only like type of person I can imagine is a really tall and buff person like built like a brick shit house kind if buff and he would be very quiet but a sweetheart to Travis and only Travis also I feel like this would be after high school.

I like my Travis ships with the brothers, but god knows taller and buff guy trailing after the snooty lil mess is hilarious. Especially post high school!

Honestly I like the idea of his crush from high school dying down after like, (and for legal purposes this is a joke) Larry and Sal get locked up for something stupid (ie; drugs, alcohol or property damage). So Travis doesn’t see them for a while but starts hanging around other guys. Including a very handsome, really kind man that didn’t laugh at Travis for explaining his background.

Think Chris Evans with a Sal Personality and a Ryan Reynolds sense of humor. Absolutely hilarious and knows to read the room before his next actions.

Todd telling the brothers about Travis’ lil puppy love during a visit and Sal is begrudgingly willing to let someone take care of him. Though he would have liked to screen the guy beforehand. Larry absolutely despises it. Absolutely NOT. Not his Travis! With some street man!? Todd cackled on the drive home remembering Larry getting dragged away hollering that he wouldn’t accept this.

Now hilariously I also think the original note was meant for someone close to Travis (hint hint) and he just accepted that no one knew. Sal assuming it was him or Larry was an… interesting turn of events. Especially after Larry accosted him and then started being weirdly nice. He felt strange having such treatment and that may have waived his original crush over.

Travis getting his actual crush exposed on his like second year of college and just scurrying away to Philip who comforts the scared bean. Like “oh fuck, how did he know I like ___!? What do I do tell Sal and Larry?”

The funniest part is that I know Todd would give THOSE questions.

“You like Larry?”

“Yeah”

“Would you kiss him?”

“…I guess?”

“What about ___?”

*embarrassed Travis clamming up* “k-kiss??”

It’s very easy to tell who Travis likes and who he LIKES. Like he does like some people and feel interested. But then he’s also heavily invested in the person he likes. And the problem is he wasn’t taught the difference between romantic feelings and friendly feelings. He doesn’t understand that not every like is the same. And every hate is the same. It took him months to learn that when the gangs would joke and say they hate each other they didn’t mean it literally.

[kiranatrix]

Hi! hey I was just wondering, if L is someone who in the manga sees himself as a person who solves cases for fun and addresses what he does as "not justice at all" then isn't that an inconsistency on his character? bc like, on the first chapters of the manga he stated "justice will prevail" and in L: Wammy's house he has a line that says "I'm justice" so I guess I was just curios, does L really cares at all about justice? or is he just fulfilling a personal liking by solving cases?

Oh I’m sure L believes at points that he’s ‘justice’, but what that looks like to him isn’t just from a neutral point of view. Justice to L is triumph, not completely fair and legal dealings born from a desire to right a wrong. That doesn’t mean he’s evil or doesn’t value life. But L is self-aware about what motivates him, if you consider Near a reliable narrator (I do), and he tells the Wammy kids as much in Chapter 109:

Solving cases is his hobby and he considers himself responsible for many crimes, but it’s fun!

L repeats these same ideas in the main manga so we don’t just have to rely on Chapter 109. The above statement is one of the first things we learn about L. He has a reputation for refusing boring cases, and this is well-known in the policing world, as mentioned by Soichiro early in the manga.

[I always laugh a little that they think L wears suit pants and snappy dress shoes like James Bond]

L only takes the cases he’s personally interested in, “otherwise, forget it.” So he’s turned important cases down, ones he could have solved, because he wasn’t interested or it didn’t seem fun for him. We can see from INTERPOL’s chatter that they don’t reach out to L lightly, he’s almost like a last resort.

His justice isn’t that reliable when it comes to what they need, but they got lucky with the Kira case since L was chomping at the bit for it. And of course the other big statement L tells the Wammy Kids he repeats to the Task Force is that he hates to lose (which is how he magically knows Kira is also like that). So I think we can take L at his word that he is not justice.

Other aspects of that Wammy’s speech bear out in L’s actions in the manga— the crimes, the lies, considering it a game. I don’t need to list out all the unjust things L does that contradict being capital-J Justice, but he shows again and again how the ends justify the means, even if it results in doing something illegal or morally wrong. In that Wammy’s House one-shot line you mention, his claim is ironic since he’s literally just committed violence on half a dozen kids for the crime of trying to cuddle him lol. It’s a childish belief that justice means exerting force to get your own way, but easily excusable in a kid. But while L grew up he never quite outgrew that. Real justice isn’t whatever you want at that time, others be damned, that’s just selfishness.

Let’s also consider the other detectives that L has put out of commission, Eraldo Coil and Deneuve (that we know of). Someone purely interested in justice would find no satisfaction or need to knock others out of the crime-fighting scene, the more detectives means more cases solved, right? MORE justice! Haha, no, that’s not how L sees it. They are competitors to him in this game, and thus must also be triumphed over and cast aside, their aliases commandeered like trophies.

Not that the intention of Ohba matters that much here since he prefers to let readers decide these things, but he too says L is not just (and even a lil bit evil). Justice is not a monolithic notion where there’s only one obvious ‘side.’ That’s how both L and Light see their battle but neither can look outside themselves as arbiter. Ohba had some fun with us readers framing Light vs L’s ‘justice’ as two sides, two ‘teams’ for readers to choose between and root for, then letting both sides fail. The joke being that neither side was justice and whoever won would only do that, WIN.

Does all this un-justice-like behavior contradict L’s sense of self? No, I don’t think so. I think L knows why he’s doing it (for fun, to win) but he can ALSO believe he’s in the right. He had a very high personal interest in catching Kira, but he also believed stopping him was the right thing to do.

I’m afraid all this sounds like I’m dogging L when he’s my second fav character— I really love him, and even moreso because he realizes what drives him, accepts it, and doesn’t make excuses about it. But no one human being exemplifies justice, and by the very act of declaring yourself to be that, it’s falsified. Perhaps Ohba really played up these grandiose declarations early on (which appeared less and less from L as the manga went on) to highlight how similar Light and L were in their thinking despite being on opposite sides. L saying, “I’m going to catch you because that sounds like a really fun time!!!” has a less dramatic ring to it than making some noise about justice lol. It elevates the stakes of the game for readers and served L’s purpose better (provoking Kira).

[thekitschdiet]

the kitsch diet part II

part one alr posted!! this chunk is about 3,000~ words long... let me know what u think :-) thank u all for all the luv already!!! looks like I really will hit 31 followers by easter!!!!!!!!

  Who is the Kitsch Girl? 

 I think this is more loosely defined, but The Chic Diet did a truly admirable way of reducing a girl to her YSL bag and her really skinny legs. Now, that implies an archetype, or a population in a specific location. I think kitschness is kind of the niche you fill when you’re not really much of anything else, sort of your own conglomerate of mainstream-specific. One major requirement, though, is being a little too into something somewhat uncool. And the whole illusion falls apart if you have any sort of outward insecurity. See, the Kitsch Girl is somewhat undefinable because she is so much of everything. She exists in multitudes, in a way that is also quite simple to understand; think of a list of axioms, or principles to live by. And now add a section to each one that says “but…” to make a collection of verified exceptions. Say, the kitsch girl will never wear jeans. But she thrifted this pair of vintage flares she just loves. She doesn’t reply to texts efficiently, but sometimes she will within a couple seconds. No mascara, no dinner forks, candles are to be collected not burned; but that was a gift, or something. It’s not personal, of course, those are just the contradictions she exists in. Don’t try to understand it, the enigma is essential to the facade. Or maybe she just lives like this, and her character is so homogenous with her inner world there’s no sense in trying to separate it. You have to have a little bit of an individuality complex about the whole ordeal, which is normally so eugh, but if you’re kitschy enough it works on you. Trust!The Kitsch girl is not someone unlikeable, but amiable and well heeled. I double checked that last one, assuming it meant liked by most, but apparently means affluent. I suppose that is an aspect of the kitsch girl too, having seemingly endless frivolous expenses with no real strain, but that’s not important right now. People that don’t like her think so out of jealousy, or something. Envious that her clothes are all kind of shake-it-up-esque and her highlights desperately need touching up, but she still seems so enthralled with the whole of life… How does she enjoy her own company so much when other people want to know her better? Doesn’t she feel weird about blowing people off to make a joke about reading Kafka in the bath? Why would she document her cluttered, unexciting life on Instagram so delicately, so vibrantly? Of course, no one would say this to her face because they are really baseless claims. She’s nice, generous, and valuable to have as a friend. Trade-offs exist, as they do with anyone. But I like thinking it’s easier to overlook a forgotten birthday when your kitschy best friend gave you a multi strand pearl necklace to celebrate the welcome breeze of June. Or some other made-up holiday. She is so unassuming if you’re not really looking. Girls want in on her inner circle. Or they just don’t care. Nothing wrong with being liked or thought of naught, for the most part. Boys are either enthralled or repulsed by her. Her doctor knows her as something of a hypochondriac, but only minorly. It’s just carpal tunnel, don’t worry… The sales staff at CVS turn a blind eye when she slips an eyeliner pencil into her tote bag. She shoplifts on occasion, just to see if she still knows how. But she is not a shoplifter. $9 here and $6.45 there doesn’t really add up to much. Everywhere she goes, she makes a tertiary friend or two. The term of friend is loosely used here, of course. But it is nice to tell a stranger you like her earrings. Or her phone case is so fun, is it Wildflower? The kitsch girl has an eye for this kind of detail. Simply put, she is sort of unspectacular. But in a way that makes you sort of wish you knew her better.

Phone cases

The phone case is, like, religious for the kitsch girl. Sorry, but there’s just no other accessory as flippant and expensive and single-purpose as a trendy little iPhone case with some semitacky stickers plastered over the design. I used to have an iPhone XS- extrasmall-  with like, 18 phone cases. It was kind of a sordid affair. I jest, but really… owning that many phone cases was kind of sick. We get it, you are frivolous and spontaneous and sooo stylish! Stop posting mirror selfies on your Instagram story, your crush isn’t going to see it. Kidding again. Having an extensive collection of phone cases is just so fun because while attainable, most people just simply do not partake in it. That makes you kitschy and unique. I really thought I had more to say about the IDEA of the phone case, but I guess in practice it is all very, very simple. You can slide your driver’s license in the back of a clear case. At what point does it stop being cool to have legal operational control of a vehicle? I don’t display mine because I don’t really like the photo. I look round. In the eyes but also just in general, swollen, unglamorous. Whatever. Not like I drive a Nissan or anything. I drive my *Mom’s* Nissan. Playing Bladee in the car seems sacrilegious. She would hate it.Back to phone cases. Sonix ones are cute but kind of overpriced retail- unless you have like, an iPhone 12 Pro Max or whatever the fuck is new this year, just go to Winner’s. They always have Xs and 11 cases. I had a cherry one for my previous phone, like the exact one Lana Del Rey had? Thank god I sold it before she got outed as a copfucker or whatever. Casetify is for an inadvertent flex. Flexing your lame, lame taste. Sorry, I know you bought it because you liked it, but what you failed to consider is just how un-Kitsch they are. SO common, and they advertise on Instagram. Sorry, I just can’t get into it! Kind of how I just never liked the Brandy Amara tanks. Or lowtop converse. Otterbox is just distressing. Like, if my boyfriend gave me an otterbox phone case I would probably break up with him because somebody clearly isn’t paying attention- one of my favorite, potentially overused joke is how Otterbox cases are the equivalent of orthopedic insoles. Sorry but if you have poor arch support or whatever, but no pain is worth giving up a good pair of Margiela slingback tabi heels. Obviously I couldn’t afford that right now because all loose income goes directly to Wildflower and my cig boy. But like, one day. I hope you want to punch me in the face a little bit after reading that.  If Wildflower isn’t your thing, at least have the decency to get a beaded phone strap. But not from String Ting. Pray tell you aren’t keeping score, but they are one of my several parasocial enemies. That should have been ME collaborating with Wildflower! Should have been ME mailing shit to Caroline Calloway (more on her later, but she is the only blue check I follow. I adore her! I was on her patreon for a bit I thinkl!!) …. Side note. Phone cases are cute but there is no way to properly protect your laptop without looking just absurd or colossally lame. The foam sleeves… ick.

Having the shittiest music taste ever

So like, here’s the thing. I’m an Apple Music user, which sort of reinstates my status as an unironic My Bloody Valentine Hyperpop Death Grips kinda gal. Read; volcel. My most recent conquest ended up being a huge L on my part, but also… I totally dodged a bullet. The guy had an iPhone 11 (female trait) and didn’t know who Rei Brown was, which just seemed suspicious given his Niche. I just know he had a “making out playlist” comprising entirely of like, Joji. Which isn’t a bad thing I guess but so unembarrassing it horseshoes back to being humiliating.Like I said. Having the worst music taste. It’s nice how subjective and deeply personal your music taste can be; no one really Needs to know you’re a die hard drainer. But there’s also no point in being a die-hard drainer and Not capitalizing off it somehow. I added it up and I have well over 150 hours of just Bladee and Yung Lean. Which is so yass? The more I write, using myself as a case study, I realize just how desperately jobless I am. And Yogenfruz isn’t even hiring! UGH!I think there is something very kitschy about liking hyperpop in the least ironic, least obnoxious way. Sort of feeds into a “I’m not like other girls” thing, but I mean… That’s kind of the idea of kitsch, isn’t it? Be a little different but also the very same as your lipgloss brethren?!Side note. If you make monthly playlists I am genuinely kind of afraid of you. That is just so organized!! I just make playlists with esoteric titles and then make a new one when I’m sick of the stuff on the last. I have exhausted most genres but I think my favorite is the “I’m wearing f****ng air forces and my teeth are SO white”. Guess what genre it is. Or don’t, but it’s probably what you think is. Okay, moving on….

Curating a scent

I like thinking I smell like mango and peach, Glossier you, whatever citrus is in that Lush shower jelly and mint 5Gum. But of course it is probably less distinct and just kind of generally fruit-floral-mint. Anyway. I think Glossier You is the perfect scent for anyone with a rather elementary understanding of the whole.. Perfume business. Every bottle of intentional fragrance I own was made via aesthetic choices… it really helps that Glossier You is so cute And so universal. Now, Glossier is kind of interesting to me because it really is at the intersection of cheugy and kitsch. Kind of basic, overplayed, unspectacular. But also…. Often popular things are popular because they are good. Glossier has excellent customer suurv, they ship SO fast (and no import duties! W!) and their stuff is just so sweet and nice if not unoriginal, in kind of the same way strawberry ice cream is. Which is still my favorite, of course, especially if there’s a vegan option. I was talking about Glossier. What the hell! It’s really worth trying out. A huge principle of kitsch is just… having as many possible layers and appendages to your composure as possible. And adding a signature scent just really completes that! When curating your own, I say this as a complete amateur, know-nothing; make it something that comes kind of naturally to Your Character. Like, I’m just not a Chanel No 5 kind of girl. Odds are you aren’t either. My bottle (before she asked for it back when I told her I didn’t use it, in exchange for a Nordstrom’s gift card) was from my grandmother. Ummm.. Yeah, I really have no expertise in curating a scent. But it is nice to have a signature. And having a bottle displayed on your dresser next to your aughties McDonald milkshake themed beanie baby and a handful of lip products is just way too fun! This is the kind of girl I am, everyone! Cluttered, but prioritizing pretty-delicate things!

Cheugyism

Cheugy is a relatively new word that has unfortunately wormed into my vocabulary to replace “uncouth”. Which I use to mean graceless or tacky, but if that isn’t what it means…. Don’t tell me. That would hurt more than weighing myself after a “feast” slash pastry binge at my dear Grandmothe’s house. Like I was saying. Cheugy. It’s sort of a fucked up concept to me because it is a critique on consumption, but not the pace or volume or magnitude of it. But rather… the idea of not being “good” enough at engaging in microtrends, or involvement in the fast paced fashion cycle. Don’t get me started on TikTok, or do, but… yeah,. No. That will require a cigarette because I’m so sorry, but writing a thinkpiece on social media is so lowbrow I would need to find about six ways to aesthetically counteract it…. Moving on.  I think the idea of cheugy is good, we really do need a word to simply and efficiently define “out of date/uninspired/lame”. But the way it is used to shame others for not liking the same trends or whatever is kind of gross. If you use cheugyism to put other people down and not as a neutral identifier umm… you will become what you fear. Sorry, that’s what happens. Some things that I think are cheugy or embarrassing, or just not part of my stylistic lexicon are… 1. Hooded or zip up clothing, or things with a large graphic on the back. Bingo if it's all three! I just can’t get behind it. Side note, my summer home outfit is brandy sweats and a tube top (Urban Outfitters tank I ripped the straps off) and a large cardigan that should have belonged to a stoner, but probably didn’t. I can dunk on bulky, uninspired clothes because I would honest to God NEVER be caught DEAD out of the house wearing any of it. I’m so serious. Next segment should be about the kitsch girl’s inadvertent affinity for diuretics. Remind me….. One of the ports of my laptop is dead. Not really sure what to do about that.

Eye makeup and what it means to me….

Personally, I am one of those people who never wears foundation and kind of has a complex about it. The kitsch girl wears fluffy eyelashes and owns a plethora of sparkly eyeliner. Or maybe she doesn’t, but she has something distinct and a little ritzy, if not haphazard. We all saw Euphoria and it like, totally imprinted on us. The way glitter sits on your face after a long day is so resplendent. When it’s shining and a little bit melted off from your long, semi-productive day… ugh! Just made for film. Pictures on film. But not the Prequel app. I keep getting fucking ads for it. But it’s so embarrassing. Like, isn’t the whole point of film the authenticity of the moment? The texture of the afternoon? Why would you fabricate that? Prequel is just so cheugy. More on that later. But anyhow. Wearing a ton of eye makeup kind of fits with the idea of film too I think. Like, look at you, in the moment. With your strip lash falling off! It’s all so tres-chic. Plus, for whatever reason, it’s kind of unique or notably dedicated to ~Pull up to the function~ with more eye makeup on than everyone else. Sorry, but it really doesn’t take that long! But yes I will gracefully accept your praise… it’s kind of like the dropshipping of complements if you think about it. Easy to source with little to no effort in the curating. Side note, lashes are like $20 for 40 weeks if you cut them in half and use each pair about 5 times. You could probably do more but I lose track. How the fuck is it almost June? I was trudging through the snow to check the mail for my Online Ceramics shirt just last week, I swear. The trick to cutting your lashes (the way I do it anyway) is pretty simple. Get out two lashes that are symmetrical. Find the middle and cut one slightly to the left and one slightly to the right. This means you have two sets (one set is a little more dramatic than the other but at least they are symmetrical) with longer outer edges. Glue this to the outer corner of your eye and you will look so Composed… obsessed with how this layers with three eyeliner tails (one traditional one pointing up and one pointing down directly below it, sort of like the tail light on a 2019 Lexus UX) and one below your eye, like a clown. Fun, irrelevant fact, is the first time I added this third tail to my eye makeup, my dad had just gotten home from the hospital because he was sure he had like appendicitis or something and it was actually.. Not that. Typical indie hypochondriac. He made me bring him cottage cheese on a plate with a teaspoon that evening. I put black pepper on it for flair, which he hated. Walking up and down stairs with a plate of cottage cheese is much more imprinting than most of the multiplication tables. Don’t forget to use a bright shimmer eyeshadow in your inner corner. It really opens up your eyes. I recommend Too Faced.  One time I got a little bit too high and tried to film an “editorial” makeup tutorial. You will never, ever, ever see that video. But I essentially covered my whole eyelid in the ABH shadow “palermo” and smudged out the edges with a tan Tartelette Toasted shade, coupled with my long-expired Milk Makeup holographic stick. Lopsided lashes and near-blinding eyeliner experience aside, it was kind of cool. My point is, you really cannot go wrong with an arsenal of shimmers, taupey mattes and a good eyeliner pen.