#u r g h

[quinngefail]

And just when you think you've hit rock bottom. You're waking up at 6 AM for Walmart

Edit: ain't no Fucking Way this is the First Name for the First Order I have to do today, man

Come the fuck on

Edit 2: And my man is getting bathroom cleaning supplies too of course. Of course.

Brother I'm gonna tell you right now whatever you buy is not going to help whatever the hell is happening in that place

[royalnavyart]

how peaceful sleep is

your head next to his

no silence or fear

only him

[bisonaari]

I need to cut my hair so bad 😭

[jellyfitzjelly]

why is my "following" tab not loading up on the fucking app????

[rennarita]

ugh. except for flashes, can't even get him taking the cape off????

[hinamie]

I'm always pushing you away from me / but you come back with gravity / and when I call, you come home

[pintsofguinnesmakeyoustrong]

NPMD best line deliveries

oh shit! oh fuck!! i didnt think thered be a skele'uhn here ?!? im so fucking scared of skele'uhnz!!!

dont frighten him pokey you nasssssty boy

were going to jail...and with my luck no one will even B O T H E R making me their bitch...

🐦 heyus the thing about a bãrbĕqüe...it brings folks together...from awl wawlks of laife...theyres a storhé behand everyh burrghurr...everyh kehbahhb...

but I...called God a sonofa B word...who am iaieEUGHAHuhuuuh...

[actressposts]

[jupitisms]

WHY HE HAS BGUGS IN RHERE?!?

[queruloustea]

some little gay bug sketches :]

bonus under cut

i like to think quirrel is actually very very bad at cooking. made with love of course but probably a very unique experience. burn the water season the stew with herbal tea forget how to cut a vegetable type situations

(hollow, i think, would likely not mind. they are not the type of critter i’d expect to have a typical idea of what tastes good. they probably make their own Atrocious Soup which is in turn thoroughly enjoyed)

[fanfic-gremlin-ft-trauma]

Just thinking about bisexual realisations

[andy-clutterbuck]

requested by Anonymous

[bisonaari]

I need to be bullied again so i continue drawing please

[harbingersglory]

Thoughts on transfem Ningguang with a fem!reader whose her bodyguard? Fem!reader whose like a loyal, protective dog out in the world when they're out and about together, but an utter submissive puppy behind closed doors for the Tianquan?

literally shaking like a chihuahua oh what i'd do to be the Tianquan's lap dog..mean femmes are so attractive its like putting my brain in a blender.

It's not surprising the Tianquan has a bodyguard. She's a key political figure in Liyue and anyone aiming to dismantle the carefully curated hierarchy has her at the top of the list. To the public, your just muscle to intimidate the lesser crooks from even thinking about it and deal with those who get too bold.

Behind closed doors, though? Your nothing but the Tianquan's lap dog at her beck and call.

She isn't fond of public displays, but she does like hiding it in public just for the thrill. Knowing you wear your collar under your uniform so you'll always remember who holds your leash is a thrill she can't beat.

She's a bit mean and sadistic, really, but she's the Tianquan. She has the money to spoil you like a good puppy afterwards..so long as you behave and exceed expectations. Whether you lean more dominant or submissive doesn't matter, since you'll probably be subbing whether your top or bottom. It's a different kind of thrill to make you sit on her lap, stuffed full of her cock, while she works. That or she has you under her desk, one hand fisted in your hair while she uses your mouth instead.

She has to be at the top of her game, after all, and her position is a stressful one. What better way to de-stress then to put her little puppy to good use? You're just so pliant when she orders you on your knees.

She keeps it tame if thats more your thing, but if you give her the go ahead she will buy you muzzles. Some just the standard muzzle, others with gags, plenty of collars and leashes for all sorts of occasions..she might even get you faux ears and a tail just for a little finishing touch.

She's just as big on aftercare, though. She puts her money to good use spoiling you, partially because she knows she can get a little rough with you. That and as much as she likes to call you her puppy, she won't have you smelling like a wet dog. Get in the bath.

You won't stay clean for long, especially because she absolutely goes all out on her tub so it's more then big enough for some extra activities, but it's better then nothing.

Sometimes, though, she just needs to be pampered herself. She adores body worship after a particularly stressful day. Just lounging in half tied silk while you worship every inch of her.

And if anyone notices you limping the morning after..they say nothing. They just chalk it up to a fight with some assassin or similar. And if they do know, they know better then to bring it up.

Bonus for being shared with Beidou when she drops by Liyue harbor. Nothing like a rowdy pirate to shake things up and make a mess of you on the Tianquan's bed while she watches.

[seizethegay420]

Why did no one tell me that Moon Knight (2016) was funny as fuck

Edit: I actually read the rest of the page

[chocohedgie]

Look how far we’ve come