#u can ignore it no hard feelings
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muse meme roulette! poke the heart to get a bunch of memes from a bunch of different muses. if you're also a multi, lemme know if you want memes for specific muses, otherwise i'll just leave 'em open ended for you to answer with whoever you're feeling
and feel free to toss memes at any of my bbys, too, but only if u wanna. offer's open to any and all mutuals, regardless of how much we've written together
#obvs no pressure to answer everything i send. if i send from a muse u don't vibe with#u can ignore it no hard feelings#i just hurt and am very exhausted today and in the inbox spamming mood#just wanna send memes. so hey if you've been interested in starting stuff with my bbys#but dont know where to start?? or just wanna try writing with more of them? perfect time#come get spammed#(( ooc. ))
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hhhmmm ythink ghost talks you through it? just… think about his quiet murmurs of, “jus’ like that, sweetheart. s’right, jus’ like that.” or “on your knees, sweet girl.” or “open y’r mouth wider – look at you, y’r takin’ me so well, love. so greedily too.”
#simon ghost riley x reader#hes drunk off of u 😔🫶🏼#gnashing my teeth so hard i can hear my braces squeak in protest#suns#i’m procrastinating instead of doing homework so pls feel free to ignore me 😭
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ive been unhealthily fixated on kubosai for the past few weeks, i just have no idea how to put it into words. kuboyasu aren and saiki kusuo are in love btw
#they are.#been thinking a lot about t*rusai and k*bosai and all three of them together#(really long rant in these tags that shouldve been a rant post but im not changing it soz i got carried away LMAO->)#see the thing is that k*bosai is my absolute favorite ship ever. but i get genuinely pissed when people smack talk t*rusai#idk like i get why people wouldnt ship kbs and i really dont care. and i also get that a lot of people have differing opinions and-#wont ship trsai. i honestly cant wrap my head around why (other than people who just hate teruhashi and are misogynistic) but im okay with-#agreeing to disagree and i dont care yk??#but people so often make these long discussion posts just yapping and yapping and making up shit about how trsa 'wouldnt work'#and its always just... actual complete bullshit. like unreadable word vomit.#sorry. but its true.#thats why it gets me so mad#i cant think of a single reason why you would feel the need to do that#why cant you be normal and just. not like a ship. just dont like it. hate it even. but dont make up shit just to shit on it#its so dumb i have to force myself to just scroll past them every time i encounter one#usually on tiktok or tumblr#if i read them i wont be able to stop myself from making the most concerned and upset noises ever cuz what is actually wrong with you#theyre always the biggest dumbest stretches ever and they ignore their actual development and pretend it didnt happen#it just makes me wonder why people are so okay with making fun of that ship but get mad if anyone even dislikes theirs#and then they complain about people 'shitting on their opinion'#LIKE ?? NOBODY CARES THAT U HATE THE SHIP. I CERTAINLY DONT GAF.#but ur in the main tags advertising ur hatred for it and sounding stupid as shit for no reason? UR SHITTING ON PEOPLES SHIP ON PURPOSE#AND THEN GETTING MAD AT ANYONE WHO EVEN SAYS 'i disagree actually' IM LAUGHING SO HARD STOP IM KILLING MYSELF#the one time i ever talked in that much detail about why i disliked a ship was bevause somebody specifically asked me#and yk what ?? i have literally gotten death threats over it. im not allowed to hate that ship but everyone else can do whatever i guess#okay sorry. rant over.#is that controversial i cant tell. i dont really care and im not tagging anyway#meows post
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Matched with someone with ‘ofos femme 4 butch’ in her tinder bio like eleven days ago and she messaged me right after we matched but I didn’t have the app downloaded at the time so I didn’t see it for like four days, and I messaged her immediately when I saw it but she hasn’t replied and it’s been like a week 😭 needless to say she’s living rent free in my mind
#and like her message was ‘hi!! i cant believe i havent seen u on here before - r u new to the area/dating apps?’#so i was excited. there’s definitely a chance she’s since deleted the app or just hasn’t opened it or something#finding people who identify as femme where i live is so hard. i have stone butch in my bio on tinder im fishing so hard#i did that dumb thing where you can pay like $3 to get read receipts turned on for a specific person#wanted to know if she was ignoring me or if she just hadn’t opened the app#but she has read recepits disabled#i did get a refund for that buts it’s only $3. the micro transactions on that app are deranged though#like this feels really silly but it’d be nice if it worked out#im also currently between jobs so i have too much free time to let this stew in my brain#I’ll give it another week. i could probably find her instagram if i really tried#would love to hear if i sound insane to other people
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Modern au
Manon would not believe she had this interaction with her sixteen months old daughter:
There was a box of cookies on the coffee table. The child has found the box, opened and grabbed a cookie and put it in her mouth. Not satisfied, he had the cookie half dangling from her mouth while her hands went to the box again.
Manon told her to finish the piece in her mouth first before grabbing another.
What did her adorable precious daughter do? She looked her straight on the eye, shoved the entire cookie in her mouth, and reached for the box hunting for another cookie.
#booklr#books and reading#throne of glass#manon blackbeak#tog#dorian havilliard#manon x dorian#manorian#listen the child just didn’t care#she shoved the whole cookie in her mouth while looking at her mother#and reaching for the rest#honestly it’s better to just keep thing out of her reach#because she doesn’t care#blackbeak-havilliard baby has selective hearing and does a good job ignoring both parents#it’s funny but also not because what if she suffocates#Manon asked Asterin if this is safe but Asterin said it’s fine she has teeth and can chew just fine#if she feels she’s in trouble she’ll just spit it out#because Asterin has two kids so she has experience#unlike Manon who’s trying not to panic at everything#but it’s hard because babies and toddler are suicidal without an a ounce of fear#she also does things that are ‘wrong’ while not breaking eye contact with any parent#she doesn’t hide it at all#it’s a thing that she does#she makes sure she has an audience and laughs while she proceeds with what she’s doing#like playing with yrene’s plants and always making sure yrene can see her touch them#one time yrene had fake plant and the kid did the same#yrene was amused because the child was looking at her to make sure she sees her touching the plant#yrene was like ‘it’s fake you can pull on it however u want’#with what her parents are like the child has quite the personality on her#after that she’s go to yrene and hug her all with settling on her lap resting her head on the woman’s shoulder and just staying there
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yandere!bakugo, essentially, TO ME, is just: "If you're good to someone, there's no reason they wouldn't love you. So i'll be good to them, even if it's by force."
#he genuinely thinks simply liking someone and treating them well is enough to make them love him#ignoring the fact you didn't have fun on the last date or the most recent one -- because you said it wasnt for any particular reason#(except he was dark and brooding and scary#and kissed you a little bit too long when he dropped you off.. his arm a just little too tight around your waist)#so why should he stop chasing you? the feelings are bound to stick anyway! he bought you something nice#and even waited very patiently for your to praise him... even if he had to remind you to and asked to go on a date as real thanks#there's nothing wrong with that!!#so why are u still so shy around him!! and have been so busy lately? it cant be on purpose can it? he made sure to kiss u hard at work#to the point you were squirming bc you didn't want people to see!!#caitie here: he's so pathetic he doesn't realize the more he doubles down the more he scares u#and by the time he decides he needs to show you much you mean to him and how to love him back...#he doesn't know that it will never be love. not anymore. not after how he's weighed you down#but he still things HE HASN'T DONE ANYTHING WRONG#terrifying#i could go on. but.#this feels like a sloppy medium just ask me abt it lol#shii posts#gen
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imagining a world where i didn't feel the need to write a 40k one shot for every fandom i'm in
#personal#im suffering today#it just keeps getting longer#which is fine but its making it hard to feel motivated when there's still so much left to go :(#but i cant think of anything else until i get to section 3 or i will not be finishing this#and i NEED to#u can ignore this
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Another day of this again. Okay
#Its been so hard to try and Not think about it these days.#Like whatever. It's humiliating and I feel guilty after every post but also I don't know what to do#It just feels like I'm getting really overdue for death. Like ignoring the dishes in the sink even though there's mold on them#I hate thinking about how there is nothing forward. Absolutely nothing. Nothing whatsoever#I can lie to myself 'stay alive so u can get the currents 10th anniversary vinyl' or whatever#But it's like I just know that future will never reach me. Even if it's there even if the time passes that future will never be mine#With no place to belong to - no purpose in sight. No joy to come. Like waiting for a bus to hit me one day while I'm walking home from aldi#pogaduchy
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feeling inadequate about my writing tonight
#i don’t really have anywhere else 2 say this#been knocking into way too many cans of gas on bridges yknow and now the only bridges i have left r the spaces that r not doing me too well#admittedly.#it’s more of a me problem#do u know how hard it is to watch people ur age get supported by your friend groups when the only time you’re given the support is when you#claw and scream and beg for it. and even then#im back to not feeling 2 great about my writing#i know their writing is better than mine and that’s fine#it’s not fine but it’s fine . i can cope#i want to believe my writings decent so bad but the only people who read it r my best friend and some girl i met a few weeks ago#if my own friends can’t even fucking try to read it without me crying and begging them too then how is a large scale audience supposed to#if the people who love me and know how important my writing is to me can read it#how are complete strangers supposed to take that gamble#too saturated of a market and im not bringing anything 2 it#starting to think i should just do barrendejng or copywriting or whatever#the people I know are the same ages as me but they’re miles ahead of where I am and I’ve been writing for longer#i don’t think I’m getting better than this.#writing is all I have and I’m so mediocre about it#is it so hard to be asked to be understood and seen. Jesus Christ#ignore this if uve read it. ik shat advice I’m gonna get and its not gonna make feel any better#i just want to give up sometimes.#Anthony’s tumblr adventure#Anthony’s venting arc#there we go. a tag so anyone who follows me on here can block it#venting#that 2#while I’m here#I wish I knew someone like me.#could fix me maybe idk at least I could feel seen and understood by more than one person#begging. please.
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chat is it ok to be upset over sometjing soooo silly.
#my friends rlly struggling w writers block atm#so i was like we can work on an idea tog if thatll help! then u dont have tk do iz alone#and they were like mmmmmmmmmmm idk collab writing is hard#they message me today saying OMG GUESS WHAT THIS BIG WRITER ON TWT WANTS TP COLLAB WRITE A FIC W ME WERE GONNA WRITE IT#and im super super happy for them#but like BROOOOOOOOOO#for context we r like. besties. like Bestie besties.#i feel like i shouldnt be annoyed by this#and mostly im not !!!! im so excited for them and for the fic#but i just wish they hadn't made excuses for casting my help off. j tell me straight up if u dont wanna do it w me#idk#I AM EMOTIONAL JUST IN GENERAL RN SO IGNORE THIS#but i had to put it somewhere#soz guys#its selfish i know ! but consider i feel it anyway
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at the end of the day like it's not lesbians' job to resolve contradictions for you!! if you don't know how to square loving men with genuine unflinching opposition of the patriarchy, there are literally GENERATIONS of straight and bi feminist women who have been discussing this. but instead, for some reason, this is lesbians' responsibility, so our criticisms of men are met with unique discomfort, because they aren't underpinned by the assurance of partnership with a man to prove that we acknowledge men's humanity (as if lesbians don't have male friends, family members, children, students, comrades, etc + as if there aren't millions of heterosexual women who genuinely despise their partners).
when I relate a criticism of the patriarchy, and of men, it's not MY job to explain how that squares with the domestic harmony you and jakey share. I'm not persecuting that harmony when I don't have an answer for you:I don't have those answers because, as a lesbian, I don't need them, and frankly I don't envy you the task. there are people with these answers, but expecting lesbians to both have them + spoonfeed them to you every single time we open our mouths is starting to feel like a double standard when the vast majority of straight women don't have them either 😭
#tbc I don't think there's anything somehow unfeminist about like dating a guy#but I do think it's insanely naive to think that centuries of domestic inequality will be overcome just bc ur bf is a nice dude#just ignoring it is the number 1 way to make it remain a problem#and it's a social problem like I've seen a couple where the guy is literally responsible for like 90% of childcare#but the school still calls his wife every time there's an issue#anyway I think so much bs springs from this insecurity and like. yeah that's a hard one chief idfk. good luck!!#and sometimes even reaches the point where u can admit these struggles with other straight and bi women bc they're seen as inevitable#but if acknowledged by a lesbian it feels threatening bc suddenly it isn't Just The Way Things Are and u don't know how to deal w that#which is literally. not my problem
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i miss my friend but how do i tell them i miss them without bothering/messaging them :’((
#ooc#i think im safe to post this here but also im sick rn so maybe my thoughts are clouded by illness#i know im not being ignored but damn it feels like im not someone they can just talk to anymore and that sucks#like we had a convo about not being tired of talking to each other a few months back like#even if we’re out of social battery it wouldnt matter if talking to each other#and now im part of the ‘oh yea you dont know’ group and it feels weird sjjfjfkkskfkkskd#trying so hard to be a normal person about this#im sure theyre just busy and im trying to drill it into my head so it doesnt bother me#but to have gone from being able to chat at least once almost everyday for the past decade to silence if i dont send a message… hurts#and if you DO stumble upon this (again im sick and im sure u use tumblr sparingly)#i dont want to guilt you into talking to me bc thats the LAST thing i want is to add to ur stress#but ig this in itself could do that and i dont mean to#just stuck in a weird loop and again i miss my best friend so much
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honestly i don’t really think any mental illnesses have been like “destigmatized”- not fully at least. i think the stigma has just changed from demonization to “that’s not a real problem get over it god”
#obviously demonization is more Actively Harmful#but to say things like depression and anxiety have been destigmatized is. incorrect i feel#yes we are not treated like we’re evil. which is for sure an improvement#nobody deserves to be treated like they’re evil#but our illnesses are now being dismissed. ‘oh everyone has that’ not like me#‘you’re just being lazy’ i wish that were true#like. ok hold on let me use an example bc i’m worried abt reading comprehension on this website#(not my followers i trust u guys but i act as if every post i make will get popular)#my brother is autistic. i have GAD.#my brother was diagnosed when he was 2. he’s faced a lot of bullying from both kids and adults and it sucks and he didn’t deserve it#because of all that bullying (especially as a kid) he’s rejecting his autism and focusing really hard on being as ‘normal’ as possible#i was diagnosed last year at 17. i’ve been having these issues my whole life (my mom and i both saw it) but my issues were dismissed#by all the other adults around me (save for family) because i wasn’t visibly struggling and i was doing well in school#it made me doubt my convictions for a long time. what if i’m wrong?#as such i didn’t seek a diagnosis for a long time until my anxiety had gotten to a point where i knew i couldn’t keep ignoring it#now that i have that diagnosis i’m able to wield it as a weapon. my struggles aren’t made up#they’re real. and they always have been. and i can’t just ‘calm down’ like you can. and that needs to be respected#so while i think one is more actively harmful (bullying and harassment lead to self-rejection and loathing)#the other is also harmful- just passively (constantly being dismissed leads to self-doubt and not asking for help)#also why are people angry about the idea of a mental illness being destigmatized?#one group freeing itself from oppression isn’t gonna immediately forget about the groups who helped them get there#if i’m one day able to get perfect accomodations for my anxiety and nobody looks at me like i’m dramatic when i talk about it#i’m not gonna suddenly stop advocating for mental health issues to be normalized#if anything i’ll argue HARDER. you learned to understand me now learn to understand my siblings#learn to understand those with bpd. with psychosis. the sociopaths. the narcissists. the systems#i’m not gonna act like i have it worse than people who are heavily stigmatized. i’m not gonna get attacked for stuttering at mcdonalds#but that doesn’t mean i have /no/ problems and it doesn’t mean i think i’m better than anyone else#i don’t get why people fight each other about this. it’s a good thing so long as we remember where we came from
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bleh
#having a bad morning tbhhhh#i envy the ppl who grew up here :| it's so much easier to make friends when u went to school w ppl and grew up with them#i have been here since 2016 and was just trying to get stability the first 3 years financially/housing-wise.#and when i was Finally ready to start making friends the pandemic happened.#the closest thing I've had to friends were made thru my ex and when we broke up they ghosted me.#to this day i have not made a single genuine friend and i can't articulate how hurtful that is to think about.#and i get excited when i might have a new friend but do the audhd balancing act where i tone myself down so i don't scare them away#but then idk. maybe i just come off as uninteresting or indifferent. idk what the perception of me is bc no one ever tells me anything lol.#i just get ghosted a lot 😭 it's Literally so much easier to find ppl to fuck than it is to find friends. idk why this is so hard but it's#frustrating. everyone has lukewarm interest in me at best and i have so much to offer when I've opened up to someone.#and i can't rly talk w ppl about how I'm feeling. and i can't do anything but keep trying over and over or else i WILL fr have no friends.#it's just. like. I'm not a normal person w normal circumstances and interacting w people who already have a ton of friends and stuff#going on is hard. there's like this burning desire for companionship in u as the person NEEDING it that no one else has#bc they already have it yk? ur just kind of a footnote on everyone's day/week. u don't have that kind of relationship where#u can Just Go Over or just have ppl over. ppl can hang like once a month maybe. i hate it here but also don't want to leave :|#everything is great except trying to make friends. idk i just wanted to vent lol I'm done ranting and might just delete#but this feeling wells up inside me and some days is so hard to ignore 😭#'i have been here since 2016 and don't have a single genuine Friend' what the fuck 😭😭#ik that wfh doesn't Help but i wouldn't be able to get anything done in person in my position lol. plus it's less about where ppl are#and more about how relationships (dont) develop past a certain point.#i have someone I've been talking with probs longest out of everyone so far and we're gonna hang this weekend#but I'm also perpetually afraid I'm gonna scare them away or something and be back at square 1 😭#and idk im afraid that might translate into seeming shy or something and I'd hate for them to lose interest anyways ._.#but idk how much of that is valid vs my brain just being mean to me and paranoid over my other experiences.#anyways... yea thnx for reading if u did. i feel crazy 😮💨
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I wish tumblr was. Easier
#it just feels very. hard to kinda get things going sometimes#mostly its pretty easy on kurt but i can not emphasize enough that my other blogs are not inactive bc i dont want to do things#i log on to every blog i have every day and i try to reach out to people but. really only a small handful interact#and that handful follows me everywhere and is always trying and thats very nice!! i appreciate it a LOT!!!#but when a blog is at over 100 followers and u struggle to get more than 5 people to talk to you its. discouraging#esp bc so many people will also just. not read a single thing ab ur muse#there are people who have approached me who didn't know jason had powers. when that is. plastered everywhere#and that also happened when he had the url expheiriment and his graphics were entirely fire themed#like idk i have so many muses that i love and i try so hard with but no ones as excited as i am#and thats fine i dont expect them to get excited ab every muse its just. idk it feels like so much work to go on my other blogs#bc i show up and try to get interactions and a couple people send memes in but those memes wont always lead to more#i keep going to multimuse blogs so that i dont. have so many blogs that are ignored and i can tell myself im active and people care but#its usually only the same handful of muses that people care about#so ill make a solo blog for a passion muse but they're not one of the ones people were there for so it goes nowhere#idk im just. im very tired of tumblr but i dont want to leave you know#i just. idk i want to feel more like this is a fun little hobby and i can enjoy it but i dont. know how to do that#negative cw
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#IGNORE what i said about voting vriska no matter what mostly bcs that one i have a feeling will be kind of advanced#what with all those delicate fairy fingers and appendages and long hair and whatnot may be biting off more than i can chew#but rofl thats been all my art projects lately...aim for the moon so u may land amongst the stars or something or other#need to decide whether shes going to be holding either a sword or a big chocolate gold coin#terezis will be her in her scalemate cape hugging a giant oversized pyralspite plush or maybe sitting in its lap idk#and derpy will be in her blue postal outfit from the comics with the darling little cap and im going to try really hard and have swappable#mouth pieces one where shes holding a letter the other a basketful of muffins#as you can see perhaps Overambitious i also bought this like standee thats a hand holding an orb that i think would go great with a either#trixie or rose figure but like thats a whole other thing#really pointedly looks away from my wip art pile on my computer#itll be a while before i get started on this one tho also bcs. Irons. Fire. Etc
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