#typical brett stuff

[do-what-you-want-with-me]

BRETT DALTON as Mark Trent Found 1.05 “Missing While Undocumented”

+ BONUS

[jarvis-cockhead]

watching a live blur thing on the tv and no offense but they kinda like. arent that good 💀

[loki-zen]

Been reading a lot of military history on ACOUP lately and I found it really striking how the idea of what an institution is can come to eclipse the historical reality of the situation.

historians sometimes make clear distinctions that the rest of us tend to treat as sort of fuzzy, and one thing I appreciate about reading those who write for a popular audience is that they often have memorable-if-inelegant ways of referring to these distinctions, like the idea of studying "kinging" (how kings actually behave) as a separate thing from studying "kingship" (the cultural notions around what kings should be and are believed to be; what makes a Good King, and so on).

And then through a combination of things actually changing (consolidation of state power creating, in some places, an era of relatively strong monarchs in between the ones that are basically the chief cat-herder amongst nobles with a lot of independent power and the ones that are either absent or little more than a fancy hat for a celebrity to wear to parliament) and (loosely gestures) media factors (the cultural hegemon is Anglophone and so has a tendency to look back on English monarchy as typical when it wasn't; a lot of surviving sources about the past are themselves from a later past that had its own agendas and less-rigorous practices about history that enabled people to innocently project their contemporary assumptions into the past and also enabled the ideal to very much influence what was written about the reality) we can arrive at a point where the popular understanding of what actually happened is more influenced by the past's ideal of what ought to have been happening than it is by what was actually happening.

And, the thing I have only learned recently is how true this is about women and war.

Because even just this morning I found myself saying to myself that, no come on, all these examples to the contrary aside, it really is the case that armed military activity has been the near-exclusive domain of men for very nearly all of history.

And then I was like, but is it?

That's certainly true of the kingship of it, the fightship if you will.

But looking back at what I've been learning recently (which concerns medieval and early modern armies in Europe) and I find that's only true if you take an incredibly narrow definition of what military activity is.

In order for this to be true, armed (and really quite horribly violent) military foraging is not military activity. Traveling with the army is not military activity. A huge number of tasks that in later all-male professional armies fell to male professional soldiers are not military activity. Even building fortifications and defending a military camp with weapons doesn't count as military activity, only attacking the enemy's camp is military activity!

And like, I am for a non historian probably unusually well-read especially when it comes to certain kinds of women's history that this would fall into, but I genuinely didn't know this. The modern model of professional soldiery was still on some level unconsciously projecting into the past and combining with the fightship attitudes of the times which designated only men "soldiers" no matter how many of a modern soldier's job camp women were doing and making me believe that the cultural ideal was the reality.

(Brett's one historian and I'm not historian enough to be confident in spotting if he's wrong about something, so this is all under the assumption that I can broadly speaking trust his source selection and his interpretation of those sources, and that I haven't wildly misinterpreted the stuff I read on his blog plus the few extra things I read cuz I was interested.)

[satansapostle6]

Angel With A Broken Wing | Jonah Simms

And if I may just take your breath away / I don't mind if there's not much to say / Sometimes the silence guides a mind / To move to a place so far away / The goosebumps start to raise / The minute that my left hand meets your waist / And then I watch your face / Put my finger on your tongue 'cause you love to taste, yeah / These hearts adore, everyone the other beats hardest for / Inside this place is warm / Outside it starts to pour

Warnings: Mature language and themes. Sexual content.

Chapter Six

Chapter Seven: Like Dylan In The Movies

Things were going better. Marcus barely talked to me anymore, which was a good thing, and Ryan and I were back to normal, just worried about Gigi and ourselves. I had things going for me. I had work, and I had Game of Thrones nights and stuff with Garrett. Game of Thrones or movie nights with Garrett were my favorites; I didn’t have a lot of friends these days, and with a kid to worry about, I never really made any. Except for Jonah, but that’s also Jonah.

I think he’d have no problem befriending a particularly friendly leaf. Nevertheless, my movie nights with Garrett meant a lot to me, because I could just stop being a mom, or a Cloud 9 employee, for just a minute, as horrible as that might sound. When it’s just me and Garrett, having a few beers and meaningless yet still profound conversations, things feel a lot simpler and more manageable. Of course, those discussions and debates had a tendency to also come up at work.

This particular Wednesday, it started with a typical Cloud 9 distracted morning break room discussion that generally took place between me, Garrett, Jonah, Cheyenne, Mateo, Janet, Marcus, and Dina. Today’s topic? Racism. A hot one.

I don’t really remember how it came about; no one does. No one ever does. But from what I remember, it started out with us all discussing something that had happened to Brett earlier this week, and basically whether it was a hate crime or not. Of course, this collective group didn’t have the best general grasp of what a hate crime was, so our working definition was roughly a racist behavior. Basically, the day before, someone had just decided to buy Brett (Kobashigawa) a bag of rice... Yeah.

So, naturally, the animated group discussion had eventually devolved into a debate about whether or not it was racist to buy a (Japanese) man a bag of rice(for micro aggressively racist reasons) if said man(Brett) took it home and actually ate it afterwards(he technically did). Yeah. As an objectively Asian woman, I had a few thoughts about one that I just kind of kept inside with this group. Jonah kept looking at me throughout the discussion, though, which wasn’t my favorite.

But anyway, it somehow eventually led us to here.

“…Some of the racists employed here actually become more tolerable at work,” Garrett offered dryly. “Kinda like how Myrtle considers the Civil Rights movement when she talks to people here… But then there’s the other… most of them that definitely don’t.”

Jonah frowns, looking at him in confusion. “Who gets more racist at work?”

Garrett makes a face as Marcus shyly raises a hand. “This isn’t a role call!”

I just shook my head in shame as Marcus, clueless as ever, just put his hand down as everyone just tried to look past it at that point.

“Getting more racist at work actually doesn’t have any foreseeable benefit to it. As someone who works in loss prevention, I actually find that racial profiling is the least effective form of profiling,” Dina offered.

Janet and Mateo seemed to particularly agree with this point.

I just nodded. “Thanks, Dina.”

She gave me a smile. “You’re welcome.”

“Actually,” Garrett turned to Jonah, “You get more racist at work.”

“What?!” Jonah spun around in his chair. “How do I get racist, let alone more racist, at work?!”

Jonah was immediately sent into a white panic while Garett, of course, was more than happy to help.

“Okay, see, it’s not that you’re a racist person, you’re not, actually, in fact, I think you’re a little too ‘woke’ for me, even,” Garrett expanded, “Honestly… Wish you were more racist sometimes, it’d definitely make watching movies a little more fun…” he got lost on a tangent.

Jonah frowned, looking troubled and confused, but Mateo, Cheyenne, and Janet also seemed to be able to empathize with this particular point.

“…Anyways. You are not racist, but given your usual stats, your upward trends do kinda tend to take place here, as far as your awkward slips and weird interactions,” Garrett concluded, “Although… That’s not necessarily a reflection of you as a person, that’s really more the general vibe of this place…”

“What?” Jonah laughed nervously. “That’s ridiculous. I do not get more racist, or just racist, at work…”

There was a collective “Yeah, you do.”

“What?” Jonah spluttered, flabbergasted as he looked all around the room. “When have I ever been racist at work?!”

“You assumed that Taiwanese guy was Chinese last week,” Dina provided.

“That’s different!” Jonah corrected her, “I thought he said Chinese, it was a mixup, and I apologized…”

“I was telling Glenn why I don’t call it Ho Chi Minh City, and you cut me off, and explained it for me,” I added, “And then proceeded to mansplain it for me.”

“Ugh!” Marcus yelled, indirectly at me, “Enough with this whole ‘mansplaining’ thing!”

“Yeah,” one of the other women in the break room agreed, “It’s not a crime for a man to just explain something—”

“No,” Marcus shook his head, “Women think men explain things to women that don’t need to be explained just because of some sense of superiority—”

“Okay,” Garrett interjected, talking to me, “That was just an instance of him being annoying, not necessarily racist.”

Dina nodded in agreement. “It’s true, a lot of autistic children do the same—”

“Nope!” Garrett shook his head, not encouraging this branch off of the conversation.

I just nodded appreciatively at the scene going on around me as Jonah immediately got defensive.

“I’m not annoying—!” Jonah began, before immediately putting his head down and abandoning the sentence.

“Do you just hate Asian people, Jonah?” Mateo asked, for the sole purpose of instigating.

“Yeah,” Cheyenne looked him up and down, “Should we hide our cats from you?”

Garrett and I both exchanged contained wide-eyed glances before Mateo could frustratedly correct her.

“No, Cheyenne, that’s not—”

We all decided to continue to provide examples of Jonah’s occasional racial faux pas, not because we thought he was inherently deserving of criticism or correction, but just because it was fun.

“You gave me an unprompted review on To Pimp A Butterfly,” Garrett reminded him.

“Be-Because it’s a masterpiece!” Jonah exclaimed defensively.

“Again,” Dina decided to try and facilitate, “Not a point to racism, more of just a point to autism.”

Jonah was again flabbergasted. “Guys, I don’t have autism, where are you getting this rhetoric from—”

“Actually, there’s a pool going in the warehouse,” Marcus shared, as we all kind of went quiet.

“…But it doesn’t even matter if an individual is particularly racist at work,” Dina chimed in, “It’s really about who their respective cliques are.”

Garrett, Mateo, Cheyenne, Janet, Marcus, and I all seemed to agree on this one as Jonah seemed more confused than ever.

“What?!” he exclaimed. “How does that—”

“Simple,” Garrett stated, “Everyone has a racism type. You’re either racist, woke, or neutral, and then a joker, campaigner, or neutral.”

This was, somehow, a revolutionary concept for the group. Garrett and I had come up with it weeks ago. Everyone except Jonah somehow seemed to be able to grasp the concept.

“What…does that even mean?” he stared in awe.

Garrett easily explained. “Simple. Everyone falls somewhere on the racism scale, but how that interacts with society also depends on their social tendencies… Like, say, me, Sophie, Dina, Mateo, and Cheyenne? We’re all woke-neutral, which is between woke and neutral, which seems simple enough, but we’re also jokers… one way or another… and that kinda affects the wokeness a little, but not offsetting it; we’re woke-neutral jokers,” Garrett concluded.

“And what am I?” Jonah questioned.

“You’re a woke campaigner,” Garrett stated, “You’re woke, and you’re very serious about it; but somehow, that gives you about the same potential for racism as our group, but not as much as Marcus, who’s just a racist joker-campaigner.”

“I’m a racist joker-campaigner?” Marcus questioned.

“Yes, but you’re generally harmless, because you don’t actually know enough of what you’re talking about to actually affect the greater social climate here,” Garrett provided.

“Sweet,” Marcus grinned.

Janet just shook her head.

“And Glenn?” Jonah asked.

“Neutral-racist campaigner. Similar to Marcus, but with better intentions,” Garrett answered.

“And… Elias?” Jonah tried to test the system.

“Neutral-racist joker,” I nodded promptly.

“…Brett?” Jonah tried.

“Oh, same as Elias,” Garrett nodded.

“Really?” Jonah questioned.

“Yeah,” I agreed, “He’s hilarious.”

*****

Then, there was this other conversation that took place, allegedly, not in my presence.

“I think people get more or less racist depending on who their work-spouses are,” Mateo contributed.

“Hundred percent,” Garrett agreed.

“I’m sorry, ‘work spouses’…?” Jonah echoed.

“You know,” Cheyenne provided, “Work wives, work husbands…”

“No, I’m aware of what you meant…” Jonah stated.

“Then why are you talking?” Cheyenne genuinely wondered.

Garrett was thoroughly entertained.

“No…” Jonah tried to explain himself. “How does one have… multiple ‘work-spouses’…?”

Mateo just shrugged, looking Jonah up and down. “How does one afford a wig on a Cloud 9 salary?”

“Okay,” Jonah nodded, “That just felt cheap…”

“Guys, the ‘racist work spouse’ thing is true,” Cheyenne stated, “Me? Not racist. Mateo? Not racist. Me and Mateo? Racist.”

Jonah furrowed his brows in confusion at the whole thing, but did not contest.

“Jonah? Not racist. Garrett? Not racist. Jonah and Garrett…?” Mateo trailed off. “…A little racist.”

Jonah seemed more confused by this than Garrett, who just nodded and accepted it.

“Jackie? Racist. Bill? Not racist. Jackie and Bill? Racist,” Garrett added in agreement.

“Sophie? Not racist. Marcus? Racist. Sophie and Marcus? Not racist,” Cheyenne concluded, as everyone seemed to agree.

This seemed to cause Jonah’s ears to perk up, an immediate, strong reaction.

“Wait, Sophie and Marcus…?” Jonah questioned softly.

“Not now,” Mateo scoffed, “When they were banging.”

“Oh…” Jonah nodded uncomfortably, “Right…”

“Sophie? Not racist. Jonah? Not racist. Sophie and Jonah? …Again, a little racist,” Garrett stated.

By this point, Jonah had forgotten his main reaction to the statement, as he tried to hide his grin spreading from ear to ear during a conversation about racism.

“Oh my God, does Sophie have, like, liberal arts pussy?” Mateo wondered. “Like, is she curing racism?”

Jonah’s smile ultimately as faded as the discussion took yet another turn.

“…I don’t think Sophie went to real college,” Garrett pointed out.

“What’s ’real college’?” Cheyenne asked.

“One with a mascot,” Garrett offered.

“Oh, okay.”

*****

I took my lunch break in the cafe, eating a bunch of mediocre French fries and sipping soda out of a bottle as I watched my YouTube. Jonah sat opposite me, just kind of staring at me after he ate his lunch. This wasn’t exactly unusual for us, he was just kind of big on quality time.

But he was particularly smiley today, for some reason, just kind of observing my daily rituals after we finished our brief conversation about the general clusterfuck state of the world. I frowned as I looked up from my video, seeing Jonah staring at me like Norman Bates.

“…What?” I asked skeptically.

“What are you watching?” Jonah asked curiously.

I stared. “Uh… ‘Hostile Architecture During the Holocaust’…?”

Jonah nodded with a smile. “Cool, cool… I mean. Not cool…”

I just nodded, understanding what he meant.

“Uh… You know, just… Nice. Not nice, like, ‘gah, I love Hitler’…”

An old woman gave us a strange look as she passed.

“Just nice, like… I know you’re a huge history buff, like I am,” he corrected.

I frowned. “Dude, do you have cancer?”

“What?!” Jonah asked. “No! No, I just…” he shrugged, unable to shake off his smile as he looked around the cafe.

I just looked back down at my YouTube, not really sure what to make of this whole thing.

“I just…” Jonah smiled at me. “I just like sitting here.”

“In the Cloud 9 cafe?” I raised an eyebrow.

“Yes!” he exclaimed, looking around, “It has its charms…”

“Jesus Christ, Dead Poet’s Society,” I muttered under my breath as I went back to my video.

“…And beauty,” Jonah thought to himself pleasantly as he finally stopped searching around the room.

-

Chapter Eight

[believesthings]

Not Just A Girl - Chapter 7 // Jason Sudeikis x Reader

You keep referring back to your calendar and then, when catching yourself in the act, huffing out of frustration. Tomorrow you will be back for second fittings for the James & Mia project, which they still had yet to give a working title – and if all goes well tomorrow, you’ll be back in on Friday for photos in costume.

Jason has already left for London with the rest of the cast and crew that you have grown to know through frequent set visits. Tom has been enlisting most of the actors he is working with to help him to send you short clips of funny moments on set, though such horseplay has died down in the past few days. Your favorites usually had Jason interacting with Theo whose humor had quickly endeared him to you. They always seemed to be having such fun, but you were glad to not be in their dizzying path. Your set visits had given you your fill of their combined antics, you’d settle for just Jason's endless energy from now on, thank you very much.

You are concentrating on sending Jason a message on your phone while you are leaving in the morning for the studio and stumble over a newspaper that had been left in front of your door. Odd, as you get typically your news via your phone. Rather than taking the time to walk it into your room you stuff the paper into your bag. Maybe someone else in the crew would like to read the publication.

Before you are even fully admitted to the wardrobe room you can hear that Brett is in today as well. He is standing with his back to you, his arms slightly splayed out to his sides as pins are used to adjust a suit to fit him more snugly. His shoulders are shaking with laughter, which is causing the two people trying to make adjustments to half-heartedly glare at him.

They picked a wonderful cut for him so why they are bothering with alterations you can’t imagine. Everett, the production’s wardrobe designer is nowhere to be seen but you know he is present. Alterations to one of his creations without his critical eye observing? Unthinkable! You nod greetings to the two tailors and sit down to wait to be told what to do.

Brett does his best to keep his body still but turn his head far enough to see behind him. “Morning.”

You motion for him to turn back around so the suit jacket hangs correctly, receiving grateful expressions from both tailors. “Morning Brett. Been here long?”

“Still on London time.”

Right. He had flown in for the awards, then went straight back to the job afterwards. London, of course, makes you think of Jason. You’ll call him after you are given your marching orders for the day. “Must be fun, arguing with your internal clock.”

“I’m surprised you haven’t tried to keep similar hours. Jason always worries about a good time to call.”

Having a conversation with the back of someone’s head is a little odd. “You talked to Jason?”

Brett nods. “This morning. He says Hi. And asked me to pass along the message to call as soon as you're free. And something about being in slow motion which I can only assume to be an inside joke?”

You are saved from having to explain what it means by Everett coming into the room with a bunch of papers in his hand. He stops when he sees you and scoffs playfully, “She sits and studies the stitching. Up, up. Let’s work on Mia’s wardrobe!”

The suit hangs on the rack, the man it was fitted to now gone from the room when you return with your own pieces that needed slight adjustments. Since there were so few changes needed you are released early. You don’t have anything else to do so you end up back at the hotel, trying to figure out how to occupy your time. Everett has assured you that everything will be ready for photos tomorrow. You can’t wait to see how everything looks once put together. Full makeup, costume, maybe a few props…

You miss Jason when you call to update him on the news. After leaving a brief message find yourself once again at the mercy of the clock. Considering you’ve lived pretty much out of your suitcase since arriving in town there isn’t all that much to do to pack for your move. Sifting items from drawers to your bags doesn’t take all that much time so you opt to clear the desktop of the little mementos and paperwork.

Most of the items are from places you visited while filming All Your Monsters but a few are things sent to you from fans. When you look at the clock again you sigh, only two hours have passed. You’ve already organized and then reorganized the constantly building stack of screenplays and appearance requests that Todd keeps handing you. Ever since the awards show, every time you thought that you had made headway he appeared with more. You finally had to lock them away in the room’s safe to keep yourself from trying to find a new way to order them.

The next morning you sit cross-legged in the hallway, your phone resting atop your now forgotten pages. You had been left to your own devices for the time being. Your coffee – only the second cup this morning thank you very much – has nearly cooled enough to drink without scalding the roof of your mouth. You had decided to use the time to continue to study the script, but had abandoned that venture when you see Jason's call come through. You can’t help but smile as you greet him. “Good morning sir. I miss you.”

“I miss you as well. I didn’t call too early?”

You’ve been at the studio at least an hour now. “Already been in with wardrobe once this morning.”

“Have you seen much of Brett today?”

You look around while replying, as though Jason will summon your costar. “Not today – I saw him briefly yesterday but only long enough to say hello. He always seems to know more about your day than I do…”

“My day? I got up this morning, watched a beautiful sunrise, and thought of you. You did film part of All Your Monsters here in London if I remember correctly. Did you get to sightsee at all?”

“No, not really. Will did try but we ran out of time and had to move on to the next location.” You sigh into the phone. Great, now you were both missing Jason and wondering what Will was doing with himself.

Jason sounds like he is pacing, moving around an enclosed space at least. “We’ll have to rectify that.” What time was it for him – ten? He had waited most of the morning to call.

“Yes. I would love that. How is the job?”

“Exciting. Frustrating. Keeping me busy. Do they have a villain for the All Your Monsters sequel yet? Or maybe a new love interest?”

You laugh into the phone, “You don’t have to be my costar to see me, you know. There’s this thing called video chat…”

“There’s being able to see you and,” his voice lowers, “being able to see you.”

“Jason!” His laughter over the line both delights and saddens you. You know exactly what he means. You look around to see if anybody is close enough to overhear the conversation.

Your phone is alerting you to an incoming video chat request and you tap the screen to find Jason still laughing. “Had to check if you were blushing.” He grins merrily. Just seeing him while he speaks to you helps to boost your mood again. That settles it, you’re going to find a way to fly there and surprise him soon.

“Of course I’m blushing. I’m in public and you’re making me think about being tangled in your arms.” You’ve hunched down slightly while furtively speaking to the phone in your lap.

“New hair, I see. Is that for the character of Mia?” Ah – you’d meant to take a picture to show him after they had finished it this morning but you’d gotten distracted.

You finger gently through your locks, "Yeah, We're testing out some styles, trying to find what works, they said they might make some changes."

“I vote to keep it like that. It looks great!”

 “I’ll tell them you approve.” Someone’s calling for you. Of course they’re now ready for you to come back in for photos. You glance away from the screen, and thereby Jason, and sigh. “I’ve got to go. But London. That’s a yes.”

Jason’s slight frown presses into view the two creases that run straight up between his eyebrows. How you wish you could smooth them out of view again. He doesn’t want to say goodbye either it seems. “Just a matter of finding time.”

“Yes…” You pick up your phone and untangle your crossed legs so you can stand. “I’ll call later?” You wait to see him nod before ending the call and pushing everything that had been in your lap into your bag. Oh, you’d also forgotten about the newspaper from yesterday morning. Oh well, it will continue to travel with you.

While playing dress up – yes you know that isn’t what you’re doing at the studio so bright and early this morning but that’s how you are determined to think of it – you’ve come to realize that while everyone is polite, no one really seems all that talkative with you.

By break at lunchtime you’ve had enough, “What? Does my hair look awful?” Your outburst sends most everyone scurrying.

Everett is the one to respond. “It’s not the hair –.” “It’s nerves and trying to figure you out.”

Confusion now mixes with frustration. “What are you talking about?”

“You’re intimidating,”

“I’m really not.” You reach up to fuss with your hair, unsure what else to do and desperately needing to fidget.

“You are. We all know your background. You could talk shop with most of us but you don’t. It took me all morning the first day to get you to open up past general introductions.”

“Everett that’s unfair, you were taking measurements and told me to hold still.”

He laughs. “Yeah, hold still, not become mute.”

“Besides, you guys don’t want to hear some nobody actor try to relate your work back to her theater days.” You try to wave him off.  

Evidently the walls have ears because you hear someone giggle, “The nobody actor that everybody wants to work with.”

You make a face at Everett for starting this which makes him grin and call out to the others who are making their way back to their work, “Ok – so different conversation since she’s too guarded to talk shop. Suggestions?”

Yes let’s open up the forum shall we: the life and times of the woman about to strangle her costume designer. One of the assistants is quick to pipe up, “Ooooh Jason! Tell us about Jason” A flurry of questions and pleas of encouragement follow. “Yes tell us about Jason, please.” “What’s it like dating him?” “Does he do a good British accent?”

Up until now nobody had really referenced the fact that you were dating Jason. Evidently it had been on everyone’s mind… “Er, so about Mia’s color scheme…” You are rewarded with a few laughs but everyone still seems to be waiting to see if you’ll share details about your relationship. After confirming that you were dating and fielding a few general questions both of you agreed to keep the details of your relationship as private as you could. The cast and crew here would eventually feel like family but until you trusted them more you’d stick to the basics. “I’m really fortunate to have him in my life."

You give Everett a look and he gives you a short nod of understanding before steering the conversation on to the next topic. “Talking about accents – when we went to pick up materials the girl cutting behind the counter had the most adorable Russian lilt…”

You are thrilled with the combined results of hair, makeup, and costumes. Mia is finally manifesting someplace other than on paper and in your head. You’ve signed the paperwork for renting a small place about an hour away from the studio so you are officially – at least temporarily – a resident of Los Angeles! The read through for James & Mia won’t happen for at least a week which gives you plenty of time to settle in to the new place and work out the best routes to and from the studio. Scrolling through your messages you see that Jason has sent you a series of pictures showing you the progression of his day. He looks tired in the last few and you sigh softly, “Don’t push yourself too hard, Jase…”

But wait, you have a week, at least a week… Screw getting your new place set up – there will be plenty of time to get it to feel like home. A quick search and you begin to scroll through possible flights to London. You can take advantage of the fact that the promotional period for All Your Monsters only just ended and you’ve grown accustomed to the wait to get through Customs.

You still have to run it by Todd- redirecting the taxi to the airport isn’t practical, you would at least need to grab your bag from your room – once again the benefits of living out of your suitcase make you smile. Maybe you can talk Brett into being your inside man and finding out where Jason will be when you figure out when you’ll be flying in – to surprise Jason – oh! You’re liking the idea more and more.

You quickly tap out messages to both Todd and Brett alerting them to your newly formed plans. Brett seems game but you can feel Todd’s glare as you read the words of his response:

We just went through all that paperwork for your keys to the new apartment and you’re talking about going out of the country. You’d better be positive on the time frame for James & Mia before you book your ticket. Spur of the moment trip – he hasn’t been gone that long – just, send me the details when you know them.

You make a face and talk back to the phone, which makes the taxi driver give you an odd look, “Judge me all you like Todd, I’m going to see him.”

You tap out a few more messages to the corresponding members of the production team and everything seems to work out nicely. Yes, there’s still a number of things that need to happen before a table read is a go. Looks like you’re in the clear for taking four or five days to go to London. You wait, your finger hovering over the link to confirm your plane ticket to fly out later tonight which would put you in London around 3pm their time – Jason has been incredibly busy with filming, is this really a good idea? There is the risk that you will fly there and he won’t have any free time to spend with you. If that is the case then you can tour yourself around London for a few days and try to see him when he is available…. Shit, now you’ve just about doubted your way out of your trip. No. No, you’ve already set in motion the required parts – follow through.

Now to make sure Jason doesn’t suspect anything…

Signed the lease! Keys will be mine on Monday. So excited to have my own place again! Can’t wait to start decorating.

You really are very excited about getting to once again have rooms that more accurately reflect your personality. You are going to eventually work on decorating the new place, just after your surprise trip. Hopefully this is a clever misdirect.

You’ve already talked with the hotel regarding your move so you need to stop back by the reception desk to discuss the possibility of them holding your things until you get back from London. Hell, you really don’t have much that won’t just squish back into your luggage. Though you really don’t need to take fan mail, scripts, and odd assorted collectibles you’ve been given all the way to London. If they need the room back, maybe the hotel will hold the various items in storage for you?

The clerk at the counter seems hesitant at first but after being given the go-ahead from management, extends the date for your departure from the room until after you are back stateside. Everything is working out! Jason responds while you are in the elevator:

Still say you should have just taken over the place I had been renting. Can’t wait to see pictures once you get settled. Wish I could be there to help.

He had tried many-times-over to convince you to talk with the realtors to see if you could lease the place he had been renting. You were stubborn on that point though, you wanted a place that was distinctly yours, not a place that would make you immediately think about how much you missed his presence.

There really isn’t much that you need to do to get ready for your flight. Your travel documents are always in your bag and since you were already preparing to move out of the hotel… After ensuring that you have a few days’ worth of clothes packed – no way are you lugging your entire wardrobe across the Atlantic – you check to make sure Brett is upholding his end of the bargain.

Looks like I’ll be arriving around 3 in the afternoon tomorrow (7ish for you here). I’ll keep you updated during the trip as to progress. Thank you again!!

His response is almost immediate.

Happy to help. Weather willing he will be working but I can recommend things to do until he is done with his day.

The ticket you purchase isn’t for the first flight out, but instead gives you a few hours to get your things together before needing to head to the airport. If you had chosen one of the extremely early flights you probably would have had a better bet of flying out without getting caught by cameras, but that would mess up your arrival time. You don’t want to have to consider an entire day wasted on travel. Maybe your new hair will help prevent you from being recognized? 

Eleven hour flights provide time to catch up on your sleep though so you’re not terribly worried about being exhausted upon arrival. You can’t find your bracelet or your favorite tube of chapstick, but in your excitement you’ve probably just forgotten where you packed them away. You pause to access your appearance in the bathroom mirror before catching a taxi to the airport: you’ve elected to wear clothes a little more comfortable for travel rather than trying to dress to wow Jason. You gather that you’ll have time to change after arriving… Should you wear a hat? Sunglasses? You throw those into your carry on, just in case you decide to try to use them to hide. 

In the airport there are a few people who give you prolonged glances but merely smile back when you make eye contact. Apparently you look just enough like yourself to be merely a good decent look alike. As you are boarding you send both Todd and Brett messages, as requested, to keep them updated. Once the plane takes off you are able to relax a bit though not enough to let you sleep. No matter, you’ll nap a bit eventually. You brought copies of the floor plan to your new place so you can start playing with ideas about the setup of the apartment.

You receive a text from Jason more than halfway through the flight. He had fallen into the routine of leaving you messages to wake up to. 

Good morning beautiful. Can’t remember if you’re working this morning or not. Hope the sunrise you are greeted with is as stunning as mine was.

Your response is true enough though you avoid the query regarding your work schedule. 

I’m awake. Entertaining myself with various ideas on color schemes for the new place. You? Busy day? 

Your response sounds natural enough. You aren’t giving anything away…. Hopefully Brett’s curiosity as to Jason’s schedule for the day doesn’t tip him off. 

The usual fun. I’m here if you need a second opinion. I’ll call later? Maybe another video chat session?

Video chat wouldn’t be needed soon enough. You shift in your seat to stretch a bit.

Later sounds good. Can’t wait

And be able to reach out and touch you… in – ugh, you shouldn’t have looked at the time… You close your eyes and try to relax. Sleep will make the hours seem to go by faster.

Jason's next text wakes you and makes your heart leap:

I have some down time, would now be a good time to call? 

It feels like you just fell asleep but glancing at the time informs you that you’re nearly there. 

Yes. Shit. No. You’re on a plane. How the hell do you disguise the fact that you’re on a plane while on the phone? What if they make an announcement during the call? The surprise would be blown. You’d love to talk to him but …

Er, not the best time. Too much background noise at the moment. Maybe in an hour?

Yes, in an hour when your plane would be landing and you can duck into a quiet room to talk to him.

I don’t mind background noise. You’ll have to listen to Theo, um, "singing", in the background to hear me as well.

Hmmm. How can you word this so that Jason doesn’t think you’re trying to avoid him?

Your hesitation as to how to describe it makes me cautious… I think I’ll pass for now. What is Theo ‘singing’ anyway?

There - keep him talking about his costar. 

But Jason isn’t easily swayed from his goals.

Frank Sinatra’s Fly Me to the Moon. But if you have a request I’ll pass it along. What if I promise to sing the entire conversation?

And now you have Frank Sinatra singing stuck in your head. Damn. Why don’t the insides of planes look more generic? What if you went into the bathroom? No, then it would just look like you were in the damned bathroom of a plane.

Tempting. But I want to be able to enjoy such an encounter. Let me get someplace quiet, then you can serenade me to your heart’s content. 

You’re teasing him now, but you can’t help but add another few lines of text:

No complaining if I make a thing out of texting you Sinatra lyrics. Already scrolling through my playlists looking for his music.

He responds back:

No complaints. Scout’s honor. Where is Brett? I asked him to help get you someplace quiet. Are you not at work right now?

You grin. He is curious now. You haven’t seen a text arrive from Brett so Lord knows what he was saying to Jason regarding your current whereabouts. 

Haven’t run into Brett. Apparently we aren’t in the same location right now.

Jason's response is slightly delayed which gives you time to plan out what you’ll say if he keeps pushing with questions about where you are. Your planning is pointless though, when you read his message.  

I’ll say! Sorry, but your secret is out. Just checked my feed to pester Brett there. Someone on your plane is fangirling that she is on the same flight. I know you’ll be landing soon. I’ll see you at the airport.

You will not run through Customs. You will not run through Customs. You will not run through Customs.

tag list: @my-soupy-brain @tegan8314 @tortilla-maria1 @nerdgirljen

[twistedwonderlandshenanigans]

Stonybrook Community College - TWST

Just some worldbuilding stuff and. uh even more OCs. I've got my other ones here and here.

Stonybrook is a picturesque part of the Sunshine Lands, known for it's gentle rolling hills, babbling brooks, and shockingly clear night skies. Because of how clear the night skies are, the belief of wishing upon a star was an integral part of the community. Nowadays, light pollution makes it difficult, but the North star is still always visible when there are no clouds around, at least in the suburbs of the city.

Anyways, Stonybrook Community College is meant to be an opportunity for locals to attend post-secondary schooling without travelling as far or paying as much as they may have had to in order to attend other schools. (Or did not receive an invitation to NRC/RSA/NBC)

So I got my Toy Story OCs

Cody Whitner - Twisted from Woody

One of the teacher's sons

Complete asshole to his half brother

An asshole in general, but he can be charming when he wants to...you just have to tolerate the asshole part long enough

Makes up for what he lacks in academic smarts with manipulation and emotional intelligence. (Yes, he uses his intelligence for typically malicious reasons but it doesn't mean he's not intelligent)

Brett Lancaster - Twisted from Buzz Lightyear (loosely)

Cody's half-brother (doesn't really care for Cody)

Total nerd, genius IQ but also kind of gullible

Best friends with Idia online, goes by the name 'space_rangerTIAB'

Also friends with Cody's crush, which. is a source of tension between the half-brothers

Nobody at the school knows they're half-brothers except Cody's dad

Wheel-chair user + amputee - Idia helps him develop blueprints to make a 3D printed prosthetic leg as well as some funds to make sure he can customize it how he wants

Tyrell Roe - Twisted from Rex

He is baby, ok, please be nice to him

1/4 fae and proud, his grandpa is based on an actual T. Rex (yes I think that the really old fae should be based on dinosaurs so that the Draconias can be the THE Draconias, like they're the only ones based on a dragon, but that's an HC)

He get's anxious easily, his sweater is absolutely his comfort item

He is constantly inviting friends to his place and his mom is the sweetest person alive

He wants to get into engineering soo bad

He customized spoke guards for Brett's wheelchair/generally very artistic

The Betson Twins - Twisted from the Benson Brothers (Alec and Xander respectively bc their birth parents were only expecting one child so when they had a Bonus one they just split the OG name in half skfhlskdjfhlksjdf (AKA I could NOT think of a name for the second one and Xander fits fine))

Grew up in the foster care system, but adopted when they were 12

FIERCELY protective of their (adoptive) little sister (totally not a partial response to PTSD whaaaat)

Both come off as fairly intimidating, but as you get to know them. Alec is not. Xander can, but he's intense/passionate

Alec has dyslexia, when they were younger Xander would always read things out loud for him

Xander has high-functioning autism, please ask him about computer sciences or Norse mythology he wants to infodump so bad

Alec wears contact lenses, Xander can't stand the feeling of them

Elle Betson - Twisted from Gabby Gabby

Also raised in the foster system, adopted when she was 14, her brothers were 16

Selectively mute, but at home she's a little chatty patty

Steals Xander's jackets alllllll the time they are big and comfy and comforting

Can handle herself in a fight. Will never have to.

Wants to become a veterinarian eventually

Very artistic

She and Alec have a lot of friendly spats in the comfort of their home

Do not let her cook. This girl cannot do it to save her life.

Jordan Persnickety - Twisted from Jessie (I remember blushing so hard when I went to Disney and Jessie gave me my own special nickname I should have known I was queer sooner /j (I was 8 LMAO))

Sentient doll, don't ask me why they're a sentient doll and Cody isn't, they just are

Genderfluid, She/he/they pronouns, also Lesbian

Best friends with Brett, used to be close to Cody in high school but in college he just came off as so much meaner

Speaks with a thick southern accent/sounds similar to Epel

Doesn't really remember when or where she gained sentience, or for what purpose, but she'll take full advantage of it now

Lives at Brett's place, (she's got nowhere else to go), Brett's mom loves her

Customizes all her clothing

Taking karate at the moment with her own money

Volunteers at the local zoo

She painted on her own freckles

Blaire Morrison - Twisted from Bo Peep

Planned to go to Stonybrook, but was invited to RSA and accepted

Fashionista

Influencer + entrepreneur

Started a pajama company

Animal rights activist (has a connection to my other OC, Neo Capini)

Aussie

Looooves matcha (lies)

Larry Boscus - Twisted from Lotso Bear

He was a teacher at RSA, was recently fired and got hired at the community college to teach entry level mathematics

His fiancee cheated on him, so they broke up two months before the wedding

In a bad place mentally, treats everyone like they're below him and gets exasperated quickly

Picked up smoking to cope with life's stressors

Really going through that midlife crisis

Has a group of fan girls at the school that just pisses him off more

Looks as put-together as he can for work but he is a Mess

[reagans-malewife]

Betting on Brett

Relationships: Brett & The Gang (platonic) A/N: I like to think Brett's a bi king, if you have any issues with that, you can scroll on by Word count: 614

Summary: A short ficlet about the gang betting on Brett's sexuality

The whole gang probably placed bets on Brett's sexuality from the moment he walked in the door. Everyone's money is either on straight or gay, with the exception of Andre, who believes that Brett might be ace.

Gigi and Glen think he's straight, mostly because he fits into the typical cis-het male stereotype (though Glen secretly hopes he's wrong about it).

Reagan and Myc think he's gay- Reagan mostly because she's never seen his looks linger over a girl the way she knows him to do for a guy, and Myc because, "yeah, he seems gay enough."

The team is originally patient, waiting for him to say or do something that indicates any attraction anywhere- that'd rule out Andre, at least. But he simply... doesn't. They all have their thoughts on what his version of flirting or admiring is, but no one can tell for sure. It isn't until one day, when Gigi gets impatient in the cafeteria, that she finally asks him, "hey handsome, what are your thoughts on ladies?" And of course he's confused, so she tries again, "would you ever date a woman?"

That's where it clicks for him. "I mean, yeah, if she's right for me, then sure," he shrugs simply. Gigi is good at containing her excitement, but Reagan's loud, "DAMNIT!" from the next table over alerts him to the whole situation. He wanders over to the table, watching Reagan, Andre, and Myc throw some cash in the middle.

He quirks an eyebrow and observes the situation. Brett can't quite tell what it is, but he forms a slight idea before asking, "were you guys betting on whether or not I'd go out with Gigi? Because that's not what that was- I mean no offence to Gigi or anything, but-"

Reagan is the first to interrupt. "We weren't betting on that."

"Oh." His eyebrows furrow as he looks around again. "Were you betting on if I'd date a lady?"

"We were betting on your sexuality, moron!" Myc finally yells. "Reagan and I placed money on you being gay."

His eyes followed Gigi as she reached for the money on the table. "And I've never been more happy to be able to smell someone's heteronormativity from a mile away!" She fans herself with the bills, swatting away Glen's hand when he tries to reach for it.

"Hey! I earned that too, fair and square!" Just like that, Glen and Gigi began bickering over the division of the money, while Reagan starts ragging on Myc's mind reading abilities, a tussle which Andre was somehow dragged into. Brett can only stand and watch the chaos unfold.

Then he finally speaks up. "You're all wrong." Silence falls over the entire group, their eyes locking on him. "I'm bi. Didn't any of you know that?" He asks, mild offense leaking into his voice.

They all give him blank looks. Reagan is the first to talk. "I've never seen you look at a girl the same way you do to some guys." They all continue to look at Brett.

His face flushes punk, feeling the pressure of being put on the spot. He doesn't even notice Myc's tentacle resting on his head. "I mean, yeah. There's uh, some guys that I admire a little more. But I also flirt-- well, try to flirt-- with R-, uh, some ladies. But it---" Brett took a deep breath to keep himself from rambling, and finally looked at everyone around the table. Reagan had a soft smile, Gigi and Glen seemed intrigued, and Andre looked so genuinely happy.

"Holy shit! You guys should hear some of the stuff he was thinking about!" Myc declares, and everyone starts talking again.

[chainofclovers]

Do you personally think tedbecca will become canon

Short answer is I dunno but I decided to write a lot of S3 speculation under the cut. I don't have any spoilers for how the show ends, nor do I want any, but I've watched a lot of interviews and read a lot of reviews and what I type will be informed by the not-spoilery-but-suggestive-about-the-overall-arc vibes of those.

Will Ted/Rebecca become a canonical romance? I'm not sure! For basically all of the things I have predictions and/or feelings about for s3 (Ted/Rebecca relationship, Nate's arc, whether Ted stays in London or returns to Kansas in the medium term or "forever"...), I have a suspicious lack of gut feelings...or rather, all my feelings are like a swinging pendulum of deep convictions and I can easily feel convinced of one outcome then another within the span of a few minutes.

Since you're anonymous I have no idea how much press you've listened to, what fandom spaces you're a part of, whether you're a T/R shipper or not, whether I'm friends with you or not, etc. So I'm going to write this without worrying about offending you and just go for it from the heart, haha.

The press has been a little bit of a rollercoaster for me, especially in terms of Hannah Waddingham's remarks about why she sees more longevity in relationships that aren't just the typical romantic/sexual route, and some of the other writer-actors' (Jason, Brendan, Brett) statements about audience expectation and their awareness of fandom preferences vs. the intentions of the story they're telling. I've actually loved a lot of what they've said, and I've been really frustrated by some people in the fandom calling Hannah an idiot for being tired of all the romance questions or for daring to call those expectations social conditioning when to me they very much are social conditioning. (Even if romance can also be a deep and beautiful thing! I don't feel like she's saying romance is lame! She's saying it's frustrating to zoom in on this one thing and value it above all others! And as a result of her saying that people have said awful things about her personal life and intelligence and that's absolutely uncool!)

I think it's completely possible that these interviews are at least in part about setting realistic expectations that a canonical romantic and sexual relationship between T/R isn't something we are gonna see on our TVs. I don't think these answers are coyness or lies. Really grappling with that possibility has bummed me out a bit more than I expected it to, honestly. I think a T/R romance would be super beautiful and wonderful and would make perfect sense within the larger story being told here.

That being said, I also think it's true that none of the press we've seen so far has explicitly spoiled any endings of this show. I don't feel like the interviewees are being coy and winking to fans, but I also think they've all carefully prepared ways of speaking about this show because they know the barrage of questions they'll face and they want to protect their story. When reporters directly ask if the relationship will be canon, they speak to expectations and societal structures and the soulmate connection between these characters without revealing any plot points. When the writers or actors have gotten more opinionated about the possibility of romance, it's often in the context of questions about fandom expectations or what is "expected" or "unexpected" about the story, and I think it's completely fair and understandable to express genuine frustration for the obsessive, repeat nature of those types of questions when there are so many other things these people would probably love to discuss about their writing and acting choices. They're all smart people who are extremely close to each other and have spent years constructing this story, and I can see myself responding to the repetition and surface-level stuff in a similar manner.

We know there's gonna be a huge component of Ted deciding what his commitment to AFC Richmond is and how his relationship with his son and his feelings about the family he's left behind impact that decision. We know they're setting up storylines in which other characters are learning how to coach, learning how to balance the emotional side and the tactical side. We know this is a story that simultaneously grapples with "leaving well"/letting go/why quitting isn't always bad AND with the complications of space AND with why burying or running away from your emotions while they fester inside you for 30 years is, um, bad. We know the writers have not deviated from their original plans for any of these characters even as they've rewritten and redefined certain things about this season. And we know the writers and actors all agree that Ted and Rebecca are divinely connected even if they've said many kinda contradictory things about what form that takes.

Even knowing all that, I think it's still possible that T/R will be a factor in s3 in a romantic and sexual sense. I have basically prepared myself to not see it on screen, but every time I watch the actual show I'm watching a show that sets up delicate, beautiful connecting points for these characters with intention and purpose. Which is awesome no matter what. If they don't go the romantic route onscreen, I think we'll still be watching a meaningful relationship that is full of possibilities (especially since s3 canon will end in, like, spring 2022, not spring 2058 or something). Some of the choices they've made are things that I'd probably only write if I was setting up a canonical romance, but if a romance doesn't happen within the show I don't think that means those choices were inconsequential or, worse, designed specifically to torment and make fun of fans. This is a show that is loving towards its audience but removed from its audience.

One of the first posts I made about this show was a straightbaiting joke. That seems extra funny now, knowing what I know. As a queer woman who has mostly been involved in fandoms as a femslash shipper up to this point, I can say that a lot of the shipping culture around this show and around M/F ships in general makes me really uncomfortable. I watch the joy of the show drain away from people as they focus deeper and deeper on "Tedbecca" (even to the point of ridiculing people for shipping other stuff or not understanding why it could be a fun exercise to write fic about people who will never be together in canon...which...what? the queer history of fandom didn't happen for canon-or-bust to be such a prevailing attitude!). I even feel some of that drain myself, being in an interesting place as an enthusiastic multi-shipper who just so happens to love T/R (and want to see it happen in canon) to the point of modding a whole discord about it. I love T/R and I love that it feels like a thing that is real and true in the text, and that is something I've rarely gotten to be invested in textually speaking as a queer woman accustomed to living off little subtextual crumbs. This show makes me feel both privileged and desperate.

The whole T/R thing, and the literal years of suspense it's implanted in my brain, has been a really fascinating journey for me. I can honestly say I've never had a suspended state of suspense and wonder about a single topic for this long before. I've waited for other things for this long, but they've all been matters in my personal life that I had some level of control over. Even things like election cycles take less time than this. I think the healthiest thing to do in this situation is to protect each of our viewing experiences and to respect that we're watching the creation of artists who are brilliant and lovely and fallible. To take what serves us from the text and continue to play with it all in our own spaces.

Watching 3x1 was a fuckin' delight of an experience that reminded me why I love this show and why I'm willing to experience the lows and highs of disappointments and joys in a way that just feels a lot more raw than basically any viewing experience or fandom experience I've ever had in the past with anything.

THAT WAS PROBABLY SO MUCH MORE THAN YOU BARGAINED FOR. YOU ASKED A YES/NO QUESTION AND GOT A DIARY ENTRY. BUT I'M NOT ACTUALLY SORRY BECAUSE YOU ARE AN ANON AND IT FELT NICE TO GET THIS OUT. 😂

[adultswim2021]

Tim and Eric Awesome Show Great Job #48: “Handsome” | April 19, 2010 - 12:30AM | S05E08

Morning Meditations bookends this weird episode of this weird show. In it, a strange man removes some of his clothes and then does animal stuff. They cut back to it at the very end for some reason. Very weird choice to call back the worst recurring sketch ya got. Great Job. 

This one also has a trippy drug-using theme to it; at least in the opening theme and closing credits. The normal visuals are augmented to include a trippy pulsating rainbow filter and extra imagery of weed and peace signs and buzzwords like TRANCE, WTF, etc. That is because this is the episode that aired right before April 20th, or “Smoking Some Weed Day”. It’s a fun idea, but they don’t go as all out as one would hope. I can imagine a higher effort version of this existing and it makes me a LITTLE SAD. 

I remember liking this one, but it’s a fairly mixed bag. Some of it works for me, which is all you can ask for in a sketch comedy program. Among the duds is a bunch of dads singing “It’s a perfect dad day”. This one’s pretty typical Tim & Eric style humor, all being about dads and whatnot. This one isn’t too good. Certain jokes, like putting gay guy pornography in one of the dads’ hands, seems like low-hanging fruit. Unless that dad was like “Tim, Eric, as a gay man I please request you represent my preferences accurately”. If that's the case, then they were being nice. Also the dads they got for this are dog shit. You got four freaking dads in this thing and you couldn't even ask MY dad to be in it??

The main standalone sketch in this is the Cinco Facetime Party Snoozer, a mask (and stand-up brace) that gives one the impression that you are awake and attentive during a social function, when really you're secretly asleep. It also has Bob Odenkirk soundbites saying affirmative phrases. This one’s pretty good, and pretty memorable. I don’t know if it’s as good as other Cinco products, though. It’s still the sketch of the episode. I promise I’m not being icy about this one just because I was once roasted by a group of friends for mistaking the actor in this for being my friend from school.

Okay, so this one actually is mostly focused on Tim & Eric’s petty battle over who is the more handsome man, and is fairly substantial. Tim & Eric do their detached acting style here for the most part, but it’s a far less grating example than some other episodes this season. This one has some memorable moments, like when Tim and Eric each play a campaign video of sorts to a panel of judges (including the much-missed Richard Dunn). Eric’s video is him dressed like Brett Gelman going “OH YEAH” while strange-looking women with huge, presumably fake, boobs appear around him. The imagery in this one makes me laugh. A little!

Tim’s video is shot like a Playboy Playmate video profile, and makes fun use of Tim’s disgusting body. Tim really goes for it, and this is a fairly fearless performance. I respect it! I remember laughing at this one more the first time I saw it way back when. It had diminishing returns this time, but I still liked this bit.

The end is that the panel of judges are deadlocked, and Richard Dunn demands that the boys give him a french kiss to determine the winner. “Come and french me, boys” says Dunn, while waggling his tongue around. It’s sorta shocking to see him be so outwardly gross, since Dunn’s whole appeal was just being slightly befuddled. Again, this is a moment I remember laughing at the first time around and it did a little less for me this time. I suppose I simply don’t feel too strong about it either way, and can see the argument for this being a little tasteless. And what's worse is that you don't actually get to see them kiss.

Dunn looks MUCH older in this appearance than he ever has before, which is basically just how aging works. But, Dunn’s lack of participation might be from the realization that he probably needed his rest.

Before the season started, my friends and I called him on Skype, half expecting him to not pick up. He did, just as my friend was saying something about him being old. Dunn gladly picked up and greeted us, causing my one friend to run away from his microphone. Me and another friend just chatted him up. We admitted that we didn’t think he was going to pick up, and gave him some nice compliments and sent him on his way. He seemed jazzed to have fans. He mentioned that he’d be in this season, and it looks like in retrospect this was mostly it. Maybe we should’ve gotten a content warning. 

Again, this isn’t the last we see of Dunn, but since I burned my one-and-Dunn anecdote about the man, I’ll link to this, his tribute from the season 5 DVD, which is mostly clips: 

MAIL BAG

From breadharrity

My biggest memory of this episode is showing this to some girl in college trying to impress her because i guess she had "stoner vibes" (i remember it was this one because of the 420 friendly intro) but was in sober housing. She later showed me The Last Unicorn which was pretty cool and also 420 friendly.

Let this be a lesson to the weed smokers: Tim & Eric rocks and so does Unicorn: The Movie, and both will get you laid

[rayless-reblogs]

Favorites Meme!

Thanks for thinking of me @deemoyza! I love this kind of thing.

Favorite painter: I say I love this kind of thing and then I don't pick a favorite. When it comes to figure-based art, I love the well-known classics, Alphonse Mucha (just lush and gorgeous), John William Waterhouse (softly cluttered, often a little unsettled) and Philip de Laszlo (fiery and opalescent). If we're talking animal art, I love the equine illustrations of Wesley Dennis (powerful nostalgia), all the shaggy warm creatures of Rosa Bonheur, and Theophile Steinlen's endless snoozing cats. And then with landscapes, there's John Brett (airy pure blues), Frederic Edwin Church (ethereal), and Mikalojus Konstantinas Ciurlionis (otherworldly, surreal).

Favorite poet/writer: That's even harder. Let's focus on just poets because it's narrower. I once heard Emily Dickinson described as terrifying in her spare use of language, and that's always resonated with me -- and it's something I've tried to angle towards in some of my own poetry.

Favorite band: Am realizing I don't connect as much with bands as with solo artists, so while there are lots of individual songs by bands that I like, I don't have a big pool to draw from. I've always liked the Something Real album by Meg & Dia -- very mid-2000s rock with a lot of cluttered lyrics. But I don't know enough about them overall to really say I'm a fan of them.

Favorite meal & drink: My family's macaroni and cheese recipe, which is kind of weird and atypical (it has cheese, but not an actual cheese sauce) but so cheddary and hearty and good. When I was learning to cook, mastering the macaroni and cheese was a big milestone. And then for drinks, a really good hot chocolate. One of our local restaurants has an amazing one with an enormous homemade marshmallow. For stuff in a packet, I love Starbuck's salted caramel version.

Favorite outfit aesthetic/style: I would maybe call it low-key romantic? I wear a lot of skirts, and I typically always put on jewelry when I go out. I like dark colors (though I've been branching into brighter colors and pastels), some light goth and medievaly elements. I like airy flowy lines, but I also want structure and shape. Am a huge fan of boots with skirts. Current favorite outfit is a dark floral corduroy mini over black leggings, black tee, and a long open-knit burgundy sweater. And of course boots. Adding a cameo necklace or pin gives it a little bit of Victoriana.

Favorite singer: Right now, it's a lot of Tori Amos. She has so many good stand-out lines, beautiful melodies, and also just so much music I still haven't even listened to, even after being a fan for well over ten years. Recently discovered her song "The Maids of Elfen-Mere" and may have to check out the album.

Favorite item you own: Hard to pick one. The year I finished writing The Price and Prey of Magic, someone, without knowing what was in the book, got me a pendant with stag antlers for Christmas. Stags are a big motif in the novel, and it felt like such a lovely, special coincidence. The person has since died, and so wearing the necklace is extra meaningful to me now; I wore it for my first book signing.

Favorite perfume: I don't wear perfume regularly. But my favorite scents are fairly straightforward -- vanilla, orange, rosemary and mint -- pretty simple stuff.

Thank you again! As for tagging, if you see this and would like to do it, go for it!

[galaxyarena]

02.     bag   /   purse. 03.     car trunk. / reagan

[ Depends on the bag! As annoying as it is to be gifted the Cognito Inc. tote bags, Reagan finds that they're really useful for packing toiletries + stuff of the like when she has to travel last minute. If they're not being used for that, whenever she actually remembers to bring them with her she'll use them as an alternative to plastic / paper when she actually has time to go grocery shopping!

Whenever she uses an actual purse it's likely because she's going somewhere important (date, formal event), so she'll keep what she needs for that specific purpose and leave whatever else in her car. Typically though the most consistent thing you'll find in any of her bags is her phone, a spare charger (more for Brett than anyone else because he almost always forgets his), hair ties, a stray adderall or two, and her badge for Cognito!

As for the trunk of her car, the fabric in there has some blood stains from the Kennedy clones she brought home that one time for Rand when he needed to replace his liver! In the compartments on the sides she has jumper cables and other vehicle related tools that she never uses, not because she doesn't know how but because she really only uses her car to get to and from work. The rest of her trunk is usually cluttered with garbage that Rand throws back there (sometimes she does too, but not nearly as often as Rand does). Pieces of spare tech that she has to bring home from work, lab coats that she hasn't bothered to bring back to work. Also, there's more Cognito tote bags that she says she'll put stuff into so the mess will be organized but never actually does. ]

[normaltothemax]

She snorts. "I have to actively resist the urge to punch him in the face at least twice a day." Yes, she is absolutely serious about that. "It actually gets even worse, if you can believe it." Her lips pull up into a self-deprecating smile. "He's apparently decided I'm his protégé, or whatever. Which basically means I get unwanted advice on literally everything I do." Huffing out a breath, she shakes her head, annoyed just thinking about it. "Guy couldn't tell you the difference between camera lenses, but he's happy to give me photography 'pointers' constantly."

Brett was seriously the worst.

Following along, she stuffs her hands into her pockets, shrugs. "Luck of the draw. Brett's usual photographer couldn't make it, so he, of course, thought this would be a fabulous opportunity to 'show me the ropes'." And wasn't he doing such a great job? Look at her, learning so much from him. She rolls her eyes. "I left him like half an hour ago. I don't think he's even noticed, yet." Not that she's complaining.

"What about you?" A brow lifts as she looks up at him. "You here against your will, too? Or are you secretly the art nerd of the family?" He doesn't look like the typical art connoisseur, in her opinion, but hey, maybe he'll surprise her. "Off the record, of course." She's joking, of course. Hopefully that's obvious.

There's a moment of 'oh no oh fuck I fucked it up already' that flickers across his face when he hears who she's working for, but her offer to pretend to have not heard him has him heaving a sigh of relief. "That- that sounds like a great plan actually." He lets the formality drop to match her much more casual attitude. "I get it though, it's a job in your field, ya' gotta do what ya' gotta do. I won't hold it against you."

He glances back at the guy she pointed out, shmoozing the hell out of a brat heiress and her eating it up. The sleaze of it has him wrinkling his nose. Not a surprise of course but somewhat even worse for the triteness. "You must have way more patience than me, if I worked with a guy like that I'd have burned the whole place down within a week." Probably literally.

He nods his head in the direction of the collection, keeping his stride short as he starts towards it so as to not leave her behind. "So how'd you get stuck on this job if art isn't an interest? You looking to make some inside connections or just luck of the draw? "

[sin-sidejob]

Hi, would you be willing to write nsfw and sfw dating headcanons for Brett? Gender neutral is best but if you need it, can you make it for an afab reader? Thank you so much!

Brett Hand x GN!Reader: SFW dating headcanons

Warnings: canon-typical violence + shenanigans, SFW, talk of food, families, sickness and illness

Content: just canon typical shenanigans + behavior, domesticity, Brett Hand

- Brett’s literally the sweetest person ever, and when he’s in love? Infatuation and the most endearing type of affection possible.

- he’s a bit clingy, both with regular attention and affection and with sexual attention/affection. He doesn’t do too much PDA, keeping it mild like a hand on your hip or pecking a kiss, or kisses, on your forehead or cheek if not lips. If it’s more lax and around friends, he’ll have his hand drift a little lower if not nestle in one of your back pockets and won’t me afraid to kiss a little lower on your face at your jaw.

- if you don’t like PDA much if at all, he completely respects it! He doesn’t want to push your boundaries beyond the limits or make you uncomfortable. He’d be fine just holding your hand! He loves doing that if he’s being honest, running his thumb over your knuckles and just rambling absentmindedly with whatever is on his mind while he plays with your hands.

- Brett’s definitely the type to memorize tidbits and information about yourself. Hell, he’s probably got a google doc or a notes app full of stuff beyond just your birthday and favorite color. He’s got your food orders and favorite food places, your ick-foods, allergies, the exact shade of your eyes and how they look in the sun, what type of wedding rings he’d think you’d like, date ideas, jokes and inside jokes y’all have. He struggles to remember every single detail about you, but he’ll be damned if he didn’t try.

- he even notes down factoids and little things about you, like he's writing the bullet points of a Wikipedia article about you, trying to memorize just how you wear your hair, which color tone of jewelry you frequent, the story behind the scar on your knee. He jots it all down and it's a long list, that keeps getting longer. But it's so sweet it's practically cavity-inducing, craving to know all of you in every facet and aspect.

- he makes everything fun, whether your time shared and spent together are dates out mini golfing, bar hopping, clubbing, or just having dates in the comfort of home. He couldn’t care less where he was or what he was doing, as long as he was with you. He just likes being with you. You’re all he needs.

- his favorite type and choice of date?? Cooking at home with you, goofing around in the kitchen and eating dinner across from you in the comfort of home, only to clean up and dance with you barefoot in the kitchen to something softly playing over the speakers. Dancing in the refrigerator light is high key his favorite way to end a day, with you in his arms and swaying to the beat.

- he doesn’t fight often because he’s more resigned as a person. It can be difficult to have him open up truly and push back if his boundaries are neglected due to how he’s so much of a people pleaser and he’d hate to hurt your feelings, even if his own are hurting. It takes some time for him to heal internal wounds and be able to be open and fully share what he’s feeling.

- he is super spontaneous too like he enjoys the hell out of doing sudden dates. He would absolutely crush that date trend of going into target and getting things for your partner you think they'd like, like something in your favorite color, your favorite drink and snack, something for you two to do together. this man is spouse material good lord

- speaking of marriage material, please talk about future plans with this boy. Not too soon unless you wanna' get married like you're contestants on 90-day fiance but still if you've been together for a bit, already considering moving in, talk about how you eventually want to marry him and how you intend to spend the rest of your life with him. Brett will cry and hug you for a solid hour - that's not in jest I believe he will actually do it. Just sitting there cuddling and blubbering about how he's so happy and relieved and he wants to marry you too and then he's rambling about ring sizes and that he knows a guy who can get y'all's rings and hitched within the hour.

- he is so whiny when he's sick but I bet it's like once a year, if that, he takes such good care of himself but when someone in the gang sneezes in his face he takes it in stride and then gets laid up at home. Taking care of him is like taking care of a sick kindergartner but its fun, its Disney movies, cuddles all day, grilled cheese and tomato soup with that dollop of sour cream and pepper on the top, blanket forts, and setting him off to sleep at 8:30pm with a double dose of Delsum and sleepy time tea

- marry this man.

- Brett is so doting when sick too because he's got all the holistic remedies + the whole CVS over-the-counter pharmacy of cold medicines and sinus relief and tummy ache relievers. He's probably also got the industrial or commercial-size first-aid kit.

- If you ever skin your knee or sprain an ankle that man is hauling you up in his arms bridal carry and just making casual conversation while he takes you to the nearest doctor or nurse's office, no matter if you insist you're fine, and dotes on you and tells you how proud he is of you.

- he also excels in pep talks and affirmations, recording you tapes to play should he be away from you in case you want to hear his voice. He'll text you to not pick up his call so he can leave you voicemails sometimes, telling you about his day and asking about yours as if you're actually on the phone, and he ends the second half of the voicemail telling you how much he loves you, how happy he is to have you in his life, how thankful and grateful he is, etc etc

- Brett rushes to open the doors for you, and will even carry you over puddles that way your shoes and legs don't get wet. he'll have his arm around your waist and make sure he's on the side facing the road when walking on sidewalks, having you on his opposite side and safer in case something were to happen. You get his handkerchiefs and his umbrellas, the second half of his sandwich, the share of his fries, and control over the aux in his car when going places.

- he makes you mix CD's and playlists for certain moods, moments, memories, and loves to go to concerts with you. Brett'll stand behind you with his arms around your waist and head on your shoulder or on top of yours depending on height so you get a better view and he can still be close.

- He is a wreck when meeting your friends or family, knowing how important they are to you but you're just like ??? Sir, you are the perfect man how could they not like you ??? and then he's trying not to cry and begging for a hug meanwhile it's in the middle of a fast food restaurant and you two are about to order lunch. Idiot, marry him.

- Brett is the type to fawn over babies and pets in public and its even worse if its the both of you because then there's the conversational point of the two of you having a family and that man could not have bigger heart eyes, practically begging to have a baby or adopt one or have Reagan or the cloning department make y'all one

- it's tempting but like, perhaps move in or marriage first then extend bloodlines

- regardless, this man is ultimate dating material, marriage material, long haul ride or die. Brett is so choice, I'd highly recommend picking one up.

[deanstead]

He's Coming Now

Pairing: Will Halstead x Reader

Requested: yes, by anon

Summary: A car crash sends Y/N into emergency labor.

Word Count: 1,327

Warnings: canon typical mentions of car crash, injuries, emergency labor

A/N: This took way too long oops? I kind of entered one of the most serious slumps I’ve been in for the entire year so this almost feels like teething. But anyway, I had to change quite a lot of stuff from the original request to fit what I felt I could write but I still hope you guys like this! As always, thanks to my beta partner @mertes4cker

WILL HALSTEAD MASTERLIST

One minute you were heading towards home in a car full of groceries, the next you were being roused by a familiar voice, with a ringing in your ears.

“Y/N? Y/N, can you hear me?”

Your vision swam in front of you, before you recognized the blonde hair that framed the familiar face that was hovering in front of you as Sylvie Brett.

“Sylvie…?”

Sylvie let out a small smile. “Hey, it’s okay. We’re gonna get you out of here, alright?”

That’s when you remembered - the screech of tires, the sound of a long honk, the impact of a much larger vehicle crashing into the side of your car. And coupled with the pain you were feeling everywhere, you knew you’d been in an accident.

It was just then that you felt a cramp rip through your stomach.

“The baby…” You groaned, trying to turn to look at her properly now when you realized she’d already put the neck brace on you.

“We got you, alright? Try not to move.” Sylvie reassured you, before she glanced at Kelly, who nodded.

Matt climbed into the back of the car now. “Hey, Y/N. How are you doing?”

“Matt, I think he’s coming.” You said, your voice trembling as you felt another contraction and you felt Matt shift around behind you.

“Okay, just listen to my voice, alright?” Matt said, keeping his voice even. “We’re going to get you out as fast as we can.”

Matt barked instructions and you heard him talk to Kelly while Sylvie called back for your attention. Matt worked as quickly as he could, gently draping a jacket over you before the loud sounds filled the car.

You tried to focus on your breathing, even though the loud sounds of the firefighters cutting through the metal of your car filled your ears, but what was even more distracting were the intensifying contractions.

You heard Sylvie hurry Matt along without saying too much, just as Matt lifted his jacket off of you.

As you concentrated on breathing, you realized they were already lifting you out. You could hear Matt’s voice but the pain was too distracting. You weren’t sure if anywhere else hurt because the contractions were coming quicker and with more intensity.

You felt a gripping fear wash over you as you realized your son wasn’t going to wait until you got to the hospital. Sylvie noticed the look on your contorted face and she gave Emily a discreet shake of her head, as they checked you out.

“Alright, Y/N. Look at me.” Sylvie’s voice was reassuring as she stepped up beside you. “He’s not waiting, alright?”

You nodded back at her, finally raising your head to glance at your friend. “He’s coming now.” You agreed, between breaths. The contractions were rising in intensity and coming faster.

You heard someone climb into the back of the ambulance, only registering Herrmann’s voice when he helped you up slightly so you could lean against him as Sylvie and Emily got ready for the emergency delivery.

“He’s already crowning.” Sylvie said, glancing up and Herrmann reached for your hand gently.

“Just breathe.” Herrmann reminded you, as Sylvie nodded.

“And push.”

Maggie put down the phone and glanced around the ED. “Alright people, we have incoming!”

Will headed straight for the front, as Maggie called out to him. “Dr Halstead. Not you.”

Will frowned, confused as Ethan nodded at Maggie and rushed ahead to join Connor. “Maggie… what?”

“It’s Y/N.” Maggie explained, as Will froze, almost like there was a ringing in his ears.

“What?”

Before Maggie could open her mouth again, the blaring of sounds that signaled their arrival made both of them look up and Will was already running. “Y/N? Y/N!”

“Will, wait. They delivered in the field.” Maggie pointed to where Sylvie was in another treatment room with Natalie. His struggle was almost visible. “Connor and Ethan have her and I’ll be there, alright? Go to your son.”

Will exhaled and nodded, turning in the opposite direction.

“Nat…”

Natalie turned to look at him and smiled, nodding at him. “Vitals look good, I’m going to send him upstairs. How’s Y/N?”

Will turned around to look back at the opposite treatment room before he turned back again to look at Natalie.

Natalie nodded. “Alright, come on. She’s in safe hands, Will. Why don’t you come up with us?”

Will nodded, glancing back at the tiny human that was lying in the cot now, barely believing that it was his son. “Congratulations, Will.” Natalie said softly, smiling.

Your eyes fluttered open again. Your whole body hurt but only one thought floated right to the top.

You sat up quickly, wincing at the pain that shot through your body, just as Will opened the door.

“Woah, Y/N!” Will reached you in two strides, a protective arm going around your shoulders like an instinct. “Slow.”

You glanced up at Will. “Will, the baby… he…”

Will just gave you a smile. “He’s good. He’s right behind me.”

He finished his sentence, just as Natalie arrived, pushing the cot ahead of her, where your son lay.

Will turned to help arrange the pillows behind your back, pushing you to lean back gently. “Slow.”

Natalie smiled before she gently put your son into your arms. “Will said you guys haven’t decided on a name so we’ve just put down Baby Boy Halstead on the label. I’ll give you guys some time.

Will nodded and smiled, thanking her before Will turned his eyes back to the both of you.

You smiled back up at him. “And everything was okay?”

Will exhaled, leaning in again to put an arm around you. “You were barely conscious when you arrived. Everything was not okay. Until now.”

You leaned your head against Will’s chest and he pressed his lips on the top of your head.

“So save for keeping his name as Baby Boy? Are we still going with Isaac?” Will asked you, a smile lacing his voice.

You gave a small chuckle and nodded. “We decided this months ago.”

Will smiled. “I know but just in case you felt different when you held him in your arms, or looked at his face.” He leaned in towards the baby in your arms as your son opened his eyes slowly, his little hand reaching out for Will’s finger.

“Isaac Halstead.” You whispered, smiling.

The nurse came in then to see if she could help you to nurse Isaac and Will nodded a greeting at the nurse. Isaac was quick on the uptake and you nodded at the nurse’s comment. “Probably smart like his father.” You answered with a smile.

After Isaac was done and the nurse had left, Will leaned back in to press a kiss to your temple but you turned your face up towards him and Will smiled as he pressed his lips against yours. “Thank god you’re both okay.” Will whispered.

You smiled. “Once I’m out of here, we need to go to 51.”

“No need.”

You glanced up at Herrmann’s voice, spotting Matt, Kelly and Sylvie. “Thought we’d come by to see how you were doing.”

You smiled, as they piled in, Matt and Kelly going around to the other side of the bed.

“Thanks guys, I…” Will started and Matt nodded, leaning over to shake Will's outstretched hand.

“We’re just glad they’re safe.” Matt answered just as they were joined by Connor, Ethan and Jay.

“Hey, I got here as fast I could… I…” Jay’s voice trailed off.

You smiled. “Hey Uncle Jay, get over here and meet your nephew.”

Will grinned, picking Isaac up and putting him gently in Jay’s arms.

Jay glanced up and smiled. “Congratulations, guys.”

You just glanced up at Will smiling, feeling the residual uneasiness thoroughly subside as your husband stood above you, your son sleeping soundly in Jay’s arms knowing that the three of you were surrounded by family.

THANK YOU FOR READING!! PLEASE TELL ME WHAT YOU THOUGHT OF THIS!!

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Character taglists are open!

[trrickytickle]

(like, about half of) Cognito Inc- tickle headcanons

 NUMBER ONE!! I HOPE YOU ENJOY @moose-muffin TY FOR BEING A FAN BROOOO IT MEANS SO MUCH

dancing brett  (HCS UNDER CUT!!) 

Reagan General: LITERALLY has a set of four robotic hands including her own. Don’t tell me they can not be used for tickle purposes, I’m telling you. Bad perspective on tickling, got tickled by others (not rand, fuck rand) as a kid and liked it, but is extremely touch-aversed now. Will kick and flail but like it- just instinct. Touch starved as shit too.  Lee:  Dorky, snorty laugh. Absolutely uncharacteristic- voice actually goes a few octaves higher. Little honks too. Worst spots are sides, ribs and armpits, and her “ha”s are pronounced, like individually and she likes to throw her head back and sorta guffaw. ALSO a lee- but more low key. At least she thinks so, she can get just as panicky as Brett when tickling comes up in convos. She did not get much of that (thanks, Rand), and will PUNCH ANYONE WHO AT LEAST THREATENS HER WITH IT!! Brett and her are perf contrasts as switches- imagine them ganging up on somebody! 

Ler: Teasiest ler ever and doesn’t even intend it, because she’s just cynical. Uses her knowledge of Cognito tech to her advantages. Always uses her typical dry, snarky comments to make remarks about her lees and comments on their physical and mental state, likes occasional baby-talk and spider-fingers ESPECIALLY with that evil evil HAND THING!! super methodical when it comes to tickles.  Brett General: Loves tickling. Super scared and embarrassed about it, and honestly this man needs to calm down. He’s at everyone’s beck and call- kind of like a dog- which brings me to the touch-starved vibes this guy has. Lol.  Since he’s kind of a sentimental nostalgic d00d  (escapist tendencies much) he openly craves tickles and has lee moods frequently. I don’t like to hc characters as in the community, but he is so in the community. Working for gov. organization means you know, like just about anything so he would know these niche people.  Lee: Nervous as a lee, but will still answer “yes” honestly if he’s asked if he’s ticklish. But such a lee. He literally had a robot thingy pat him on the back. Maaaybe (DEFINETLY) cheer up tickles from Reagan are a given for this man. From anyone, really. He ALSO likes to use the tech to his advantage- maybe simulating tickle scenarios in the hologram room and such, and would LITERALLY orchestrate wacky plots to get his deserved tickles. Likes to be teased and he answers with stuff like “YES!! YES I AM A TICKLISH BOY!!” and like also his worst spots are his stomach, feet and pits!! He laughs so wildly. he’ll literally holler and just kinda has an enthusiastic laugh- kinda like his personality.  

Ler: SPEAAAKING of the nostalgia thing- Maybe he can tap in to his powers and use them for ler-purposes later? Not a ler but he tries. Always overthinks teasing and his kinda-- oblivious-cuteness? leeness can kinda be infectious on a giggly lee!! Teases and pep-talks the shit out of them, also baby talk and tickle talk is just chefs kiss. He loves it when people are lees to his tickling it’s just so fun for him both ways around.    Gigi General: Never considered the fact that two of her co-workers are massive touch-starved fools and the tickle capabilities of Cognito tech, so never really worried about it. This in turn leads to situations. 

Lee: Always says “no no no no no” and backs away and always curses at her lees. Bad at hiding the fact she’s ticklish, so never really gets pedicures and such. Worst spot is her belly. Like THE worst- way too ticklish for her own liking- and someone of her status.  Ler:  Master ler, teases in a way that you won’t tell it is, like a passive-aggressive cheerleader in the locker room. Never attacks without a plan, and likes to use fake-out techniques. Does NOT let anyone in on her tickle secrets and no one even dares to get revenge, because her wraths can last weeks. Punishment tickles to whoever playfully sasses her and frequently jumps into the action on tickle fights. As she said, she’s attracted to power- and tickling gives her that. that is all did not want to do myc. considered it but the penises. 

[froggy-frogz]

PSPSPSP HEY CAN I GETUHHHhhh some. brett inside job hc's for when he??? realizes his crush/reader is just as big of a hopeful romantic as he is???? they're just. lowkey about it if that makes sense. i wanna be so goddamn domestic with brett is the thing liKE I WANNA DO THE WHOLE DANCING IN THE KITCHEN BIT WITH HIM AND KISS THE INSIDE OF HIS WRISTS ND JSUT BE SO TENDER ON HIM HE'LL START CALLING ME CHICKEN. BRETT HAND MORE LIKE UFCKIGN. BRETT HAND ME UR HAND IN MARRIAGE. COWARD. BYE

A/N: DSJFKHJDF I saw ur other request thingie and it's funny- fafshkdhf. I'm still going to write it and I hope u enjoy!

Brett's the biggest fucking softie. When he realizes that you, the person he's been crushing on for so long is like him, he falls even more for you.

He acts a bit differently around you, either at work or when hanging out outside of work.

No one really doesn't see it at first, but soon, people start noticing how he would start to act differently around you.

Everyone but you seems to notice, typical stuff. It really took Brett not being able to spit out full sentences around you.

When you do say something to him, Brett will mentally shut down, like he won't be able to process anything and his face will turn all types of red.

After you two start dating, Brett will not shut up about you or doing things with you.

He'll bring you lunch, make sure you've drunk enough water, and literally will give you the most amazing massages if you ask him. He'd do anything for you, just ask him.

If you ask him to move him, he will in a heartbeat. It's everything he's wanted, when he was crushing on you, it's all that he could think about. Domestic bliss.

When you two do move in together, he will not shut up about how happy he is about it. He's so excited, he tells you that he might burst.

That might actually happen so be careful with him lol.

He's going to cook for you, OR even better, will ask you to cook with him.

Cue Brett's Spotify Cooking playlist.

It's a mix of yours and his favorite music, and it'll be hours and hours long because Brett went overboard with it.

Yes, you will have to dance with him. It is mandatory and expected.

When/If you do cook dinner with him, he's so excited.

Another random hc is that he will randomly start covering you with kisses. Literally will start kissing you all over your face, making his face super fucking red.

Anon mentioned kissing the inside of his wrist. Literally, try kissing him back anyway/where and he will lose his shit.

Like you two are so hopeless, you put the hopeless in the hopeless romantic. Dictionary definition shit.