#ty so much for the question!
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@val-the-bun hits me with a padded sledge hammer in the feels with the wereharpy vaggie au thanks for that once again i inflict this ask on others as a coping mechanism >:C
val-the-bun asked:
Charlie can see the claw marks on Vaggie's side, golden blood, *angel* blood, dripping onto the floor... Her grip on the spear is shaking.
'Did you ever believe in me, Vaggie?'
Another shriek, weak and *crackling* is her only answer. Vaggie's talons fall, and she almost *leans* into the point of the spear. She can see the tears streaming down Vaggie's face.
The spear slips out of charlie's fingers. Her hands are shaking too much. She grabs Vaggie by the feathers, glaring up at her.
'Do you?'
Vaggie is *shaking*, taloned hands curling around Charlie with a *whimper*.
Charlie is clinging to Vaggie as the monster *buckles* around her. She lets out another whimper, nuzzling against her face. She cant keep her tail from curling around Vaggie, burying her face in those feathers she knows so well.
'Oh Vaggie...'
I am picturing a lot of comfort after this
Like just
Vaggie all bandaged up
And just curled up with Charlie in the lobby. And she's just gently brushing Vaggie's feathers.
'So uh, does anybody wanna explain why Vaggie Tales is doin' a heavenly werebird in hell?'
'I... I dont know. Maybe this is just... Maybe this is what happens if an exorcist stays down here?'
Eventually Vaggie starts changing back. Which, ya know, yay!
Aaaand also oh shit. Because uh. *She kind of shredded her outfit in her transformation*. And her spare one is back in what's left of the room she was holed up in.
'Oh, fuck. Uh. Blanket? Quick? PLEASE???'
Queue a very embarrassed and kind of ashamed Vaggie curled up in a *huge* blanket. But...Charlie's holding her. Vaggie may not think she deserves it, but she is.
'Please tell me I didnt try to eat anybody...'
'Oh, no my dear. Shreading on the other hand!'
Charlie gives Alastor a glare that surprisingly shuts him up. Meanwhile Vaggie has basically disappeared into the blanket, save the barest hint of white hair.
'Dont worry about it Vags, your aim was pretty shit.'
Queue a jab in the side from Husk.
'What! It's true! She missed!'
(Aaand that's all i got for this for now. Might do more in the future. Might write a fic. Who knows!)
#hazbin hotel#vaggie#charlie morningstar#chaggie#angel dust hazbin hotel#husk hazbin hotel#WELL AT LEAST YOU LET THEM /HUG/#vaggie cocooned in blanket and hug scared she hurt ppl...#CHARLIE WAS SNUGGLING HER AGAIN WHILE SHE WAS STILL MURDR BIRD PLEEEEEEEEEEEEASE LET VAGGIE REMEMBER THAT#im not surprised charlie's glare shut alastor up he's quippy not an idiot and charlie's gf is kinda BLEEDING at the moment#angel dust and the “i cope with near death with humor” trait ayyyyyye#but he also tying to reassure vaggie ;_; he's just kinda shit at it#BUT I WONT FORGIVE YOU FOR#VAGGIE ALMSOT LEANING INTO THE SPEAR#DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCHING UCKING tRAUMA THAT'D GIVE CHARLIE????#her gf almost fell on her own spear WHILE CHARLIE WAS HOLDING IT#FUCK#FUCK OF COURSE SHE DROPS THE DAMN THING#IS SHE GLARING AS SHE GRABS VAGGIE BC OF THE LIE AND FEAR EVERYTHING WAS A LIE#OR BC VAGGIE ALMOST PULLED THAT SHT RIGHT IN FRONT OF HER#IS SHE HOLDING VAGGIE TO MAKE HER GF SEE HER GLARE#OR TO KEEP VAGGIE fROM FALLIGN??#charlie asks a question but she's not really looking for the answer to it right now feels like#she's looking for vaggie to trust her NOW#and wereharpy vaggie collapses#trusts charlie to take her weight (or accepts it if charlie drops her)#that's all charlie needed#to be holding her gf so tight again#you#monster
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Its official. I am now a TATTOO APPRENTICE
#read this with the ‘it’s official. I’m now LICENSED’ tiktok in mind if you want to giggle#anyways#YAYAAAAH!!!! WOOOOO!!!!#I am so fucking tired. but I did it#ty to a certain someone. for pushing me to ask the hard questions lmfao#I have a feeling I will be a little more MIA than usual on here and it makes me kinda sad but I have so so so much to work on now#just know I am out here. being a dogboy in disguise.#dogboy tattoo apprentice#jasperbarks#yapping
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what would your characters be like in crossover AUs between your stories? :>
I've surprisingly not considered much in the way of crossover AU's between my own series! I have, however considered one giant crack-fic piece before where all my whumpees are shoved into a basement together (Josh, Declan, Izaak & Henley) as the whumpers all have a little soiree upstairs (Felix, Vince & Ronan) 😈
Ronan would completely idolise Vince and look up to him for insight of how to break down a pet into a mindless subservient. Both Ronan & Vince would be weary and cautious of Felix...they'd be totally and utterly fucking creeped out by him. Felix would not stop rambling on about his perfect Joshy, his lover and soulmate...
Meanwhile, Declan (if not deep in the throes of persuasion) would be inconsolable and cowering. He'd keep deathly quiet, out of sight and out of harms way - he'd be petrified of anyone and everyone and wouldn't trust a soul. Izaak wouldn't help the matter, he'd be laughing and making cruel remarks about him. Josh and Henley would offer him security and friendship, and try to pull him out of his shell. They would all exchange stories of their captors, and even Izaak would be shaken to the core to discover that vampires are real, and how powerful they truly are...
I imagine Felix convincing Vince to use persuasion on Josh... just for a taste of it 👀 of complete and utter submission without question or thought. Felix tells Vince the command, and Vince relays it to Josh. Declan would plead for Josh at the first flicker of fear in his eyes. Henley and Izaak would exchange a panicked glance.
There would just be a lot of mix-n-match, connections and dynamics 👀 I'd love to think about it properly!
#And ty for this Mill!!! I'm so sorry it took ages to reply! ❤️🙏#it probably doesnt answer your question very well!#and I would have so much more to ramble about and go into specifics if my brain was playing ball today ahaha#whump#whump writing#answered asks
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radfem help !!
2 of my little cousins (14yrs and 15yrs) are both girls dating boys right now, and together we are coming up with a "dealbreaker list" of things they will never put up with from their bfs! and also we are including positives, like so they aren't just looking for the absence of bad things, but actual positive things
what do yall think are the most important things to add? (i put extra info in tags)
Thank you so much!!!
#I dont want it just to be “he doesn't hit me” as that's super important but they could end up with awful boys who don't hit them and still#mistreat them. there are certain vulnerabilities that make me worry the most for them. Ive been writing under the deal breakers like exampl#of how it would manifest like things they might say or how they might behave so that way in the moment there will hopefully not be as much#time spent questioning if it counts as a deal breaker. we want to do positives too so like I said in the post it's not just like "he doesn'#put me down“ but also ”he roots for me and encourages me and verbalizes it“.#they are 14/15 so I'm less focused on stuff related to like splitting domestic labor for example but I think a good translation could#be like “he spends as much time as I do planning dates” and “it's clear to me that he put a lot of thought into my birthday gift” or the li#anyway I know they are safer without dating boys (and for the record they both know I do not date men (and only one knows I am SSA) but#they ARE dating and it's much more practical and realistic to reduce harm here since they are doing it!#also this is obviously not the extent of my effort in making sure they are safe and well and not reliant on boys/men;#this list is just one small part!!!#thanks so so much! and if you don't know please share bc maybe someone else has advice! ty!!!#radfem#radical feminist safe#radblr#sex based oppression#mvawg#question tag
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"Non paeniteo potitus."
+ details & process
And, process !!
The jump btwn the second to last and last always surprise me whenever I make one of these because I always forget to take snapshots after I start painting. It's always like: oh yeah heres the lineart with some colors- BOOM fully finished✨️
What he's holding are the Austrian imperial scepter and orb, seen below:
I was going to draw the crown too but decided I don't hate myself that much(maybe some other day), and gave him a golden laurel crown, bcs I'm obsessed with that as a motif, and also its very remincient of the boy king statue that started this whole thing!
There's some symbolism of this, both intentionally but also just historically. I love that the orb represents that the monarch is holding the world in their hand, basically every old monarchy has one of those, and I think it's very cool for symbolism. But also bcs of that, I was forced to basically draw catholic fanart so, you win some you lose some. The star halo above him head is both to reference those religious statues with star crowns(I saw them a lot in Europe and they imprinted onto my brain), as well as: his four championships of course!
#TL: 'I don't apologize for winning' 🤭🤭🤭#^ was gonna find some old latin quote to put but was like. oh yeah of course !!!#noy sure if its entirely correct. kinda wanted to email my hs latin teacher to ask but i finished this too late at night#anyways please dont let this flop SKDKLGLVLV#im really proud of it okah 😭😭😭 it was actually so much fun and enjoyable and nice etc dtc#i questioned to myself earlier abt why my chibi art always gets more notes than my detailed art#and i realized. like unless youve been following the lore of my blog. this isnt even recognizable as f1 fanart SJFKLVLV#but thats okay because its my niche brainrot au and i will do what i want >:)#the hair and the relics are def my proudest part of this#i mentioned before but i have trouble yknow translating irl stuff or complicated stuff into drawing#but all of this came really smoothly to me in a very unexpected way#god his hair is just sooooo its ssoooooooo!!!!!!!!! i wanna pet him 🥹#but i think it def helped that i kept posting the process on my close friends#and my two irl friends(as well as some friends on here! ty!!) encouraged me a lot abt it so :D#but anyways yep pls take my brainrot art 🙏🙏 it took me 13+ hours in the span of like 3 days basically#f1#formula 1#sebastian vettel#catie.art.#boy king au
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funniest thing abt the atla kids is that they're not all fatherless but they are all motherless
#nearly half are orphans too#toph has both parents but is basically emancipated#so she has none#idk much abt ty lee's or mai's parents#but i think both still have their parents#so they're excluded from this stat#atla suki#atla sokka#atla azula#atla jet#atla zuko#atla katara#atla aang#atla toph#atla mai#atla ty lee#the freedom fighters too#don't think teo/theo has his mother either#or haru#not sure abt yue#i think song has both parents?#big question mark tho#basically everyone has mommy issues#atla#avatar: the last airbender
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Buzzard and Blurr are so cute :) really endearing ans sorta sweet, hope things work out well with em
Im really curious about the twos relationship. Do you have any thoughts you could share behind their dynamic and how they end up getting together? Or headcanons?
Keep up the good work! :D
THANK YOU ANON YOU MADE MY DAY!!!
i will be honest i would also like to know how they get together bc they are uhhhhhh both bad at this whole romantic thing! like i talk about here, they're both bumbling, inexperienced, and having a rude awakening to the concept of demisexuality, so as far as i can tell there is no end in sight to the mutual pining idiots. there's some possibilities but nothing concrete yet
they're a fun ship but first and foremost they are a funNY ship and the funny bits to me are in the pre-get together stage so that's what i think of the most. so! have some tidbits! this is a long post oops but i am NOT putting it under a cut i am making everyone LOOK AT SELF INDULGENCE RAAAGHH I AM KILLING CRINGE!!!
Blurr met Buzzard after being painstakingly transferred to a new, kitbashed frame and having a weird tall stranger show him the trash cube that used to be him with far too much enthusiasm. Buzzard was the one to fish that cube out of the trash as they went spelunking in Cybertron's waste disposal system as Team Purple were on planet to pull off a pet heist (and got more than they bargained for). once everyone realized the cube was a person and was ALIVE, they were also the one to uhhhhhh procure most of the pieces of his new frame, constructed by Knock-out in a back alley deal on Velocitron. Blurr is uncomfortable with how piecemeal and janky this frame is, despite being a close reconstruction of his original, and it takes him a long time to truly realize that Buzzard donated, bought, or outright stole 90% of the parts needed to bring him, a stranger, back to life. it's an odd feeling, to suddenly reckon with the concept that maybe there's more to this junker than picking pockets and being silly
it takes awhile for either of them to really pay attention to the other? like, Blurr has essentially pulled a Jesus, and also maybe unwillingly defected from the Autobots, and is currently "trapped" with a team full of criminals and Decepticons, one of whom was a spy that he spent so long tracking down and got thiiiiiiiis close to discovering her true identity before Longarm sent him off to Earth, so he's understandably got a grudge the size of a planet against Rosanna who is happy to taunt him about it, NOT TO MENTION the awkward, vulnerable, and painful physical therapy of getting used to this new frame and trying to regain his speed and just... being alive again?? sure, Buzzard is tall and weird, but they are the least of his worries in his early days with Team Purple
to be fair, like. for months the only real impression Blurr has of Buzzard is just:
infinite storage booba
that and "tall flightframe with purple parts but NOT a Decepticon???? not even an enemy????" it's something he's still coming to terms with. Gremlin consistently seeking him out to nap on is not helping
it may be easy to assume that Buzzard, having been brought to life by an Allspark shard on Earth, is young and ignorant and stupid and may not even know what love is etc etc. however, they were mentored by the whirlwind romance duo Rum-maj and Wreck-gar, both very invested and also very forthcoming about their own relationship. Buzzard is pretty knowledgeable about what love/romance/sexuality can look like, just from observing them and others around them! no, the mutual pining idiocy isn't from ignorance, it's just twitterpated stupidity 👍
this goes against popular fanon interpretation of Blurr i think, but i like to characterize him as the kind of hypercompetent-but-lame guy who's married to his work, doesn't bother with social skills beyond bare minimum, and isn't so much arrogant/full of himself as he is just impatient and dismissive. he's like a working breed dog. you might think he's hot but he would rather skip an offer of a one night stand in favor of following up on a potential lead or staking out a target's home all night. so Blurr's experience and general overall INTEREST in romance is nil
the fact i have slapped asexuality onto both of them just means they're both extra unprepared to Experience Feelings
it's slow! Buzzard thinks this guy is funny, and kind of sad, and though they never say this they think he could use a friend who won't get impatient with his own frustration. he knows a lot of stuff about Cybertron and Autobots and such that they've never heard before and he can be prompted to give entire lectures about anything, which they soak up, they love learning. Blurr is only mostly irritated by Buzzard being affable, and curious, and dropping odd knickknacks and riffraff into his hands whenever they feel like it. they don't roll their optics or look lost when he gets talking like many people do, and usually even manage to keep up with what he's saying. it's toleration at least!
he doesn't realize it, but it's really the least stressful/antagonistic connection he has with Team Purple so far. Rosanna was a target he was cheated out of uncovering and holds it over his head, Dreadringer is the mysterious captain of this dangerous gang who seems to want to toss everyone out the airlock, Wheelie was an old friend but seeing him so comfortable around these strangers is almost more offputting, Red Alert may be an Autobot but she's also the doctor seeing to his recovery which is hardly pleasant, the multiple Decepticons aboard keep him on edge even if they're nice to him like Voidwander, there's so many utterly absurdly strange people like Necro, or Wreck-gar, or Inferno, or Sky Lynx, or even Beachcomber, etc....
in comparison, Buzzard ends up filling almost a Kronk role to his Yzma as Blurr eventually feels comfortable ranting to them, or relaxing around them, or even skedaddling behind them for protection whenever Shenanigans occur. they're nice to him. it's weird. but it's still one of the biggest reasons why Blurr starts to acclimate to Team Purple, and even start considering himself one of them. without their positive influence, he wouldn't have dealt well with famous Team Purple tidbits like Tito Moto's funeral, Bludgeon deciding to start an official pirate rivalry, Dreadringer's delusions of interning with a god, Crescent's livestreaming career, or The Oil Slick Incident
Buzzard just thinks Blurr is fascinating to be around, in a much nicer way than when he was paranoid and scared of the rest of the team. now he's fitting in! in some corner of their mind, they think of him as another part of the hoard they call a family :3
maybe letting two obsession-prone people who only make friends with other weirdos spend a lot of time around one another was always going to end in a weird tangle of emotions, huh?
now this is of course Buzzard's Iconic Demi Moment, but Blurr has one too:
i firmly believe it's a hallmark- no, a REQUIREMENT that to be an Autobot in TFA you must be repressed. these guys are all touch-starved and alienated from their own wants and needs in favor of serving The Regime. so good luck Blurr you're gonna need it
Buzzard meanwhile is literally scared they're gonna pluck out Blurr's spleen. they keep wanting to be around him, and watch him, and touch him, all of which is normal sure but this is a lot so clearly their subconscious has marked him as a trinket to steal
attempts to explain otherwise generally do not go well
so they just. fail at communicating. they fail at communicating so bad the entire ship knows. even Rosanna gives Blurr tips on flirting. even Gremlin, Buzzard's dearest friend in the world, is giving them the stink-eye for idiocy. they are both still friends, they gravitate towards one another and get invested in what the other enjoys and work well together and just keep growing closer as time goes on, but the awkward, helpless stupidity of Oh My God Feelings turns it into a comedy show for the rest of Team Purple
maybe if Blurr could stop flipping out about the right thing to say and do and be and and and-- then he would relax enough, be confident enough to do something so bold as hold Buzzard's hand. maybe if Buzzard could stop worrying that their preoccupation with him is scary, or unwelcome, or unnatural, or going to upset his place in the team or as their friend, then they would stop feeling dread and start experiencing the joy and giddiness of romance, how it can be a treat for both of them
it's a lot of shenanigans. chicanery. silly falling over one another to just do something nice for the other but not quite knowing how. but they're both earnest. they enjoy one another. they keep coming back to one another
they'll get there eventually. i'll noodle something that fits
fingers crossed
i mean they have to get there eventually or this image won't be canon and i spent a lot of effort figuring out overlapping posing and kibble angles >:(
anyways. i'll leave u with this silly little ship meme (can u believe this image was gonna be my only response til i decided to defy cringe and infodump)
#buzzard#tfoc#omg wait i should queue this for#blurrsday#trembling and sweating queuing this but i must not let cringe hold me back!!!!!!!!#anyways anon ily ty for the question i hope you enjoy this much information#this ship is basically jessica and roger rabbit but with reversed heights#theyre hardly NECESSARY to each others lives but thats the thing? they like one another so. they Choose it#theyre new frontiers to one another and make each other feel things completely unfamiliar and despite being scared they choose to explore!#they are just both really REALLY bad at figuring out how to choose this and communicating it bc they have No Idea what theyre doing#you cant even trap them in a closet bc buzzard will just start stealing everything in there and blurr will help out of boredom#you cant even get them with surprise mistletoe bc blurr will speed away in .5seconds and then buzzard will nab the sprig!!#this ship operates on rule of funny therefore rule of funny will probably be the thing needed to get them together
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If emilia had known all the manipulative and deceitful shit that echidna did to subaru in greed If and how fucked up subaru became under her influence, and how much Echidna despised everything about her and saw her as a useless, annoying naive doll, and eventually found out that Echidna was in fact so greedy and inhuman, do you think she would have changed her mind about Echidna and started to wary and disgusted by her? (Plus the talk of Beatrice waiting 400 years in Arc 4's Dream Castle would probably add fuel to the fire)
YES. absolutely. yes. itd be barely even a question, of course emilia would be wary of echidna and disgusted by echidnas actions if she (emilia) ever found this out. but im gonna explain why i think this🙏
we see some major instances of emilia standing up for herself—the biggest examples include her post arc 4 development, also her being mad about subaru calling her satella in arc 1, her arc 3 speech to the royal council (that was sadly glossed over in the anime but you can see it in the manga and its SUPER badass) and also her arc 3 fallout with subaru, etc etc. but the ones where she has more of a negative reaction, ie the arc 1 example and the arc 3 fallout with subaru—are particularly interesting to me.
the arc 1 example shows her standing up for herself with something that was done to her directly. subaru called her satella in public when shes already out there showing her face and being judged as she always is, but people arent usually so bold as to directly call her satella. its why she gets pissed—its a very personal insult, and its one that shes had to deal with for almost her entire life due to more factors out of her control (which is a reoccurring theme with her—shes rarely fully in control of many things in her life). this also is you know one of the examples where she DOES stand up for herself!!
but regarding the arc 3 fallout—yes, of course shes upset that subaru humiliated her at the royal selection when shes already bound to have a hard time because shes a half elf. of course shes upset that subaru broke his promise (especially when you remember her trauma with that), and of course shes upset because subaru absolutely looks like a massive liar right now (especially when you remember her trauma with that) and again, didnt keep his promise. but its interesting to note that emilia has this huge guilt complex regarding people being hurt because of her in some way (which isnt her fault at ALL but thats how it feels to her and this is how its often justified by perpetrators in universe!!). puck even tells her in memory snow that subaru keeps getting hurt because of her because puck is a shit father. so yes, emilia is upset that subarus hurt her, but so much of her dialogue in their arc 3 fallout is about how subaru got hurt because of her, and how she doesnt want subaru to be hurt anymore. a big part of why she leaves subaru then is because of that!! she was personally hurt, her trauma has been triggered by this too, shes been publicly humiliated on a deep level when shes already bound to struggle in the selection, and yet shes thinking more about subaru in this instance. that says so much about her.
and once you get to post arc 4 emilia in general—this is an emilia who is grown and is still struggling with her deepest insecurities but shes finally started to face them head on. of course shes gonna feel disgusted by what echidna did to subaru (and beatrice!!) if she ever found out—subaru and beatrice are very dear to emilia, and theyre the two people emilia is closest with thatve been affected by echidna the most.
i just think that on the scale of things echidna has done, emilia would care the least about how echidna feels about her specifically. not in the sense that emilia wouldnt care, because she does. she cares deeply about what others think of her and she always tries to be kind and nice and proper. she always tries to prove herself to others because she always has something to prove. shes the half devil, and shes someone whos often overshadowed both in universe and narratively.
echidnas feelings on her are only unique in its intensity and mystery—we see echidnas face scrunch up and she looks and sounds like shes going to cry when she admits in the anime that she hates emilia. we dont know why, only that this is the one and Only time we echidna with such negative emotions of this caliber? but echidna is probably far from the only person in the world to hate emilia and see her as useless and annoying and naive. and echidna is most definitely not the only person to hate emilia in the first place for various reasons.
emilia is extremely aware of just how many people despise her. how could she not when its connected to her appearance and existence? shes reminded of that like 90% of the time she steps outside. or when she thinks about other demihumans or about the fate of her own people. would it still sting for emilia to learn about the full depth of echidnas hatred? yeah, because like i said, echidna really has a personal vendetta against emilia, and also because this is all poking and prodding at the same core insecurities emilia has—that emilia is and will always be some useless doll thats paraded around. would it make emilia a little wary because echidna has a personal grudge? yes. of course. when theres a threat to emilia herself personally, that tends to extend for other people (such as her camp), so she unfortunately has to think about that. and of course emilia would probably also be wondering Why its so personal for echidna.
but emilia will IMMEDIATELY fixate more on the fact that echidna deeply hurt beatrice and subaru.
emilia is someone whos hated by the world, someone whos near constantly targeted unfairly in various ways—but she continually chooses to try and be kind and try to keep her courage and try to do the right thing even as shes completely terrified. shes deeply scared to hurt others due to her traumas and Various Experiences. she may not be entirely certain what love is, but she has felt it numerous times and loves her loved ones a lot. she cant fathom someone like echidna, who locked her own daughter in the library to wait for a person who isnt real just so echidna could watch and see what happens. echidna used her own daughter like some sick twisted lab experiment, and emilia would be even more deeply uncomfortable when you remember that she too was put in a princess room by her mother figure (which was well meaning and WAY different than beatrice of course, but im sure the room parallel would be Uncomfy anyway). and beatrice was waiting for 400 years too, emilias going to be so grief stricken and angry on beatrices behalf!!
and subaru's behalf too!! but let me go deeper into explaining greed if first.
when it comes to greed if, i dont like to entirely attribute everything to echidna here—mainly because i dont want to ignore subarus agency in all of this. subaru is the antithesis to someone like emilia or reinhard—subaru has infinite choices. hes choice itself. he can change in any direction and make whatever choices he wants and nothing can stop him once he sets his mind to something.
and greed if subaru continually makes decisions that makes him and everyone around him worse. he threatens felt and rom to leave the election to manipulate reinhard into joining him. he holds meili hostage in a cell to control elsa. characters like garfiel and ram understandably resent him for his manipulative bullshit. otto leaves because of it. emilia and beatrice’s mental health are completely and utterly destroyed because of his actions. yes, echidna is VERY MUCH to blame for how subaru ended up. he accepted her contract when he was vulnerable and at his lowest point, and now hes in this horribly toxic dependent relationship with her because shes the only one he can confide in. she helps him plan things, she helps him move things along. shes made him worse all this time, and while she plays a HUGE role in greed if for this reason, subaru continually makes the choice each and every single time to keep going down this path. he can try and turn around at any point, but he doesnt. hes a horrible person now, which i think should always be remembered in general for the vast majority of the ifs. he is a victim and a perpetrator at the same time. hes not innocent anymore—everyone is ultimately stuck under his control in greed if because he’ll just keep abusing rbd until he gets what he wants. no one whos near subaru has any free will here. echidna whispers in subarus ear and subaru chooses to listen to her and make more shit decisions.
is echidna guilty for essentially manipulating subaru into accepting her contract and becoming worse as a result? yes. is subaru guilty for doing all the things he did following accepting the contract? yes. these two things coexist. granted, i would still give echidna more of the responsibility for greed if of course, i just don't want to ignore what subarus been doing either hah.
but basically emilia finding out about all of this gets extremely complicated Very Fast.
to find out the full extent of the shit echidna does to subaru in greed if, emilia would have to know about rbd. and emilia finding out rbd is a whole other complicated subject on its own, but long story short, her guilt complex regarding hurting other people is gonna really FLARE UP. her worst fears have basically been confirmed with the existence of rbd because subaru has chosen time and time again to be involved with her, and being involved with her unfortunately means that he gets caught in the crossfire of ALL the things that keep trying to hurt emilia (which again isnt her fault and she has no control over any of this happening). so theres the double whammy of 1. emilia finds out rbd and 2. emilia finds out about greed if which brings whole other layer to this.
emilia is inevitably going to be horribly horribly guilty and In Despair over rbd. but then theres greed if, which shows echidna taking advantage of subaru for her own greed, subaru growing Worse because of echidna, and greed emilia also growing Worse in addition to everyone else involved in all of this. this is absolutely horrifying on multiple levels. OF COURSE shes also angry and grief stricken on subarus behalf—from her perspective, subaru has gotten hurt because of her and other people Repeatedly. she WILL blame herself for not doing enough (even though again, subaru and the people around them have made their own choices). she'll get angry and upset that subaru has even had to carry a burden like this alone, that hes been hurt so many times, and the fact that emilia herself is at the core of all of this. thats absolutely fucking terrifying. subaru has gone all this way for her. from her perspective—how can she possibly make up for all of this? she cant.
and then it gets even more terrifying because greed if subaru is a dark version of him that takes all his ugly traits and exerts control over everyone around him. hes miserable. hes horrifying. hes quite frankly an eldritch horror masquerading as this smiling mannequin version of natsuki subaru. and if emilias finding out about greed if, she has to find out about this other version of her thats all her worst traits amplified as well—shes a useless doll in the sense that greed if subaru removed emilias choices and did everything for her. hes the new puck to her, and puck was already a terrible parent by also exerting control over emilia in his own ways only to do horrible shit (see: destroying the whole world after she dies) behind her back. you know what that sounds like? subaru. and greed if subaru continues to enable this in emilia—hes responsible for her turning out this way and he continues to take care of her by doing everything for her because he now has this emilia that wants to bend to his every whim and follow everything he tells her to do. thats all she has left. subarus actions caused her to snap in this way because he never gave her a chance to actually flourish on her own. he never tried to help her rather than control her. and its why, in all her instability, she nearly freezes everything around her every time she gets angry and upset (see: her nearly having a breakdown after seeing subaru got hurt because of beatrice). greed if subaru has essentially gotten his "dream girl" in the worst way possible—emilia is now fully and completely dependent on him. she never had the chance to be otherwise.
its so incredibly clear when you read greed if that the moment emilia gets on the throne of lugunica, because she will, because subaru will absolutely make that happen, emilia will become a puppet ruler because shes too mentally unstable now to actually rule. because again, subarus made the choices for her this whole time, and it broke her.
greed if beatrice is also similar because really all subaru did was drag her kicking and screaming out of that burning mansion. yeah, from his perspective, what other choice did he have? he had to save beatrice. and theres no denying that greed if subaru has good intentions, but he has a hard time seeing and treating the others as people. theyre just like dolls that he has to drag around, and then he has this whole list of people that need saving, a whole quota he has to fulfill, so he drags them kicking and screaming along with him instead of talking to them as equals. as people.
greed if subaru is the subaru that keeps abusing rbd and going back in time over and over again, but not once is he actually using it to do something like, i dont know, wholeheartedly try to save beatrice by letting her make the choice to save herself like in canon main route arc 4. instead he just dooms her by never letting her choose and by never even trying to talk her out of it. or maybe he has, but he never understood how to do that in the right way. main route subaru figured it out by fully taking the time to understand her on a deep level and empathize with her. beatrice was the one to make the choice to save herself. greed if subarus had Infinite Tries and he never figured out how to actually save beatrice. mainbaru treated beatrice like her own person. greedbaru treats beatrice, and many other people, INCLUDING HIMSELF, like an object. he doesnt save them because he sincerely loves them, at this point. or maybe he does, but its not in a healthy way because hes just saving them because he has to. its an oligation, not a sincere desire to see them happy and safe and fulfilled in ways thats good for them.
and main emilia, i think, would Absolutely be horrified by herself. and i think shed pity greed emilia, but she'd also be disgusted. greed emilia is everything that emilia has hated about herself. greed emilia is the worst of her personified. but emilia would pity her. greed emilia has zero control over herself, her emotions, her own life. the two most important men in her life—puck and subaru—hurt her so deeply that shes just that far gone. and main emilia would be horrified by greed subaru of course, but i think shed be disgusted by all his manipulation. its sad and pathetic and Terrifying to watch. but of course its complicated.
and i hate the idea that emilia cant handle anything complicated (which tappei continues to push forward because hes fixated on making emilia "stupid" and "pure" and "innocent"), but while i think emilia would struggle to wrap her mind around all of this (because honestly who WOULDNT be struggling to do that with all of this shit aljsdlfjsdf), emilia would try her best. and she'd turn to echidna more because subaru wouldnt have turned out that way without echidnas influence. greed if subaru, after all, is still a victim. an imperfect victim, but still a victim, at the end of the day. but i think emilia would eventually have to reconcile that puck, while he did love her, wasnt the best (AT LEAST more than what she already kinda did in arc 4, because she doesnt know the full extent). he was far from it. he failed her in a lot of ways. hes hurt a lot of people. and emilia would have to know that subaru is capable of doing these horrible things too, but the subaru she knows and loves now is far different. shes sorry that hes had to deal with all of this alone. she'd be deeply sorry for greed if subaru, even. these things have nuances and i fully believe emilia will be able to understand even if it takes her some time to do so (because again—WHO WOULDNT feel complicated feelings about this??).
its like how subaru continually forgives the people around him for things theyve done in other timelines—theyre not the same people in the main timeline now. emilia would recognize that, because she herself is someone who sees the ugliness of the world, someone whos experienced it, and someone who wants to reject it all and try her best to choose kindness and love. and she knows that shes capable of that same ugliness too (see: greed if emilia) (see: her killing pandora numerous times after pandora tore apart her family and home) (see: her doing the arc 3 fallout with subaru) (see: her accidentally hurting others in frozen bonds) (see: her accidentally freezing her people) (see: her lowest points in arc 4). but—isn't that part of being human?
i do think that despite everything, emilia would pity echidna a bit. echidna, who deeply loathes her but is driven to tears over it for Unknown Reasons. of course that wont stop emilia from being disgusted by echidnas actions though.
yeah so anyway tldr: emilia deserves to go absolutely feral because i absolutely think she would go apeshit on echidna if she found out about what echidna did to beatrice and subaru. shes fully capable of it and we've seen her go feral multiple times okay. the moment she finds out about her loved ones being hurt shes gonna be like cradling them gently to her chest and then she turns around and goes feral on whoever hurt them 😭 it is SO over for echidna. (AND GREEDBARU, if emilia had the chance to.)
#rezero#emilia#echidna#natsuki subaru#beatrice#ask#I FEEL VERY PASSIONATELY ABOUT EMILIA LSJDFL hope you enjoyed the detailed response anon haah#ty for the ask its a very good question <3#greed if#also i hope whoevers reading this understands my stance on greedbaru ok. thats my stance on any ifbaru too like i have SO MUCH sympathy for#them but also theyve all done terrible things and the vast majority of them are terrible people now :(( there are so many nuances here ok.
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how does Solas cope or work through the aftereffects of the regret prison?
content warning for mental health / body dysmorphia
At first, it's pure cope.
I've written my Solas as suffering from derealisation/depersonalisation for a good while now. It's been an issue for him since he manifested physically, exacerbated by the body dysmorphia he experiences from his unwilling flesh. It is exacerbated again by the Veil, and throughout early Inquisition he is dealing with symptoms of derealisation. He has developed methods to treat these symptoms. Tellingly, this banter with Cole:
Cole: It's brighter here. Glittering. Glaring. Glinting. I can't...
Solas: It's a mild tremor in the Veil. Nothing to worry about. Focus on what is here, in this world.
Cole: But... what is here?
Solas: Feel the ground, the breath in your lungs, fabric rustling against your skin.
Cole: (Breathes.) Thank you.
Solas: It's nothing. It can be overwhelming for anyone.
Is a treatment for derealisation in modern medicine. So, he has some pre-established methods that might help.
That being said, the regret prison is a different beast. He has always had a strict command of his dreams, and the Fade has often been a safe space for him. But he designed the prison with the ability to keep even the likes of Elgar'nan caged, and has utmost faith in its creation (he designed it, after all). What's more, by being its first host it does appear to be shaped to him, with him having to pull Rook in not only because they were mired in their regrets at that moment, but because they share a regret (Varric's fate).
I imagine the prison as a constant sensory overload for him, a deluge of the past millennia of his existence bearing down upon him almost without reprieve. And if he comes close to working through one, another cuts him off. A pack hunting down its singular prey, if you will. Wolves are persistence hunters, after all.
One last note about Solas in regret prison is that he tries to outsmart his regrets rather than confront them. From a (potentially cut) codex written by Emmrich:
I would offer, however, that your escape shows the true difference in how you and Solas suffered this regret. Solas escaped through evasion. In many ways, he addressed Varric’s fate as he did the problem of the Fade: a puzzle to be navigated or, where possible, denied. ... An immortal life founded in denial risks becoming an endless collection of loss. It would appear that, in the shadow of eternity, a god might regret but cannot accept.
These are the lies and misdirections he tells himself that Rook can call him out on. And like so many of Solas's lies, there is a method of truth to them. It was Rook's fault the gods escaped (but it was his as well), it was an accident that Varric was stabbed (but he did stab him, nevertheless).
The regret murals are another example of this. The Mythal fragment describes them as branches twisting to catch the sun, and while I think what she means by this is up for interpretation, I have my own take. For now, I feel like the best thing I can say is that the regret murals indicate Solas as someone who struggles not only with regret but with the perception of himself as a victim.
It is easier for him to see himself as a villain, because it makes everything he's done a choice. Every friend he's betrayed, every crime he's committed, wasn't because he was a person trapped in an impossible spot, trying to do right by himself, the person he loved, and his people, but the steady hand of Wisdom (or Pride) making the hard choices no one else can. He has to be the one to do it, and it has to be entirely his choice. While out of character I maintain that Solas's agency is reframed by abuse and circumstance, it does not change the fact that he has a responsibility to those mistakes, but I think Solas disagrees. At least when it comes to himself.
So the paint chips, the plaster cracks. Any evidence that he is anything less than in control of his own life fades.
Upon his escape, there is little time to work through anything. Elgar'nan descends upon Minrathous, eager to retake his throne as the god of tyranny, the threat of blight bears down upon the world. There are weeks between, but they are the bat of an eyelash in the span of his existence. So in no way does he begin to truly address those regrets in that time.
He mistakes voices he has known for years as being the manifestations of it, come to haunt him. He stands alone in crowds. He feels nothing. He feels like he is watching himself from outside of his body.
He copes by centering himself, as mentioned in the Cole banter when I started writing this ask reply 40 years ago. Focusing on physical sensations, manifestations of magic in his palm as a stim, counting his breath, etc.
The regret prison seems a very physically isolating place, and I think physical touch would be a salve sometimes. Which, canon Solas is out of luck, but this iteration has Ian. In this thread, hearing Ian's voice makes him flinch, but the Ian in the regret prison never touched him, the real Ian can.
I do think he plays at addressing it. Partially because he escaped it, so he has (in some manner) escaped his regrets, and partially because he has Ian, who knows everything the party knows and more. Not saying anything would be stranger, especially as Ian knows his symptoms of his weakening mental health from their years together. So even in trying to address it he is still coping, almost trying to trick Ian (and himself) into believing he has processed things. The same way he does every time he says out loud that he is someone deeply aware of his mistakes.
Ian, for his part, is a war medic and well-aware that this isn't the time to unpack the centuries upon centuries of trauma his not-husband is failing to process. Although even Ian has his limits, and cannot bring himself to validate some of Solas's regrets involving Mythal. I think here is where the trick is laid bare, and it's clear the things he wounds he believes he has dressed are, in fact, bleeding through the bandage.
It would only be post-game that he could truly begin work through these regrets, and getting over the after effects of the prison that inflicted upon him in such a visceral manner. He will still flinch when Ian (or Thora, or Miraen, or Felassan, or Emithas etc) says his name sometimes. He still will hear him anticipate violence in their words. Sometimes, when the twilight steals into night and all the colour drains from the world, he anticipates statues on the horizon.
But whether the Veil is gone or he is atoning in the prison, being more connected to the Fade and in a better environment allows the sixth sense of magic to flow through him as it hasn't since the Veil's construction. When Ian says his name, it rings with both worlds. And there is little to regret in the sound.
It is a journey, but not a battle, as so many other things have been in his life.
#mental health cw#body dysmorphia cw#da4 spoilers#v; prisoner of his past ( veilguard )#( headcanons )#[ still stuff i'm trying to work out but i havent spoken much abt regret jail so ty for the opportunity! ]#weptfreedom#[ sorry i went on 3 tangents before i got to the question ]
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what are hyakinthos's thoughts on the boatman and the slow boat in general?
Ooh, taking a quick sidestep from the rest of the ask game asks to answer this real quick! Short answer: a little complicated but generally friendly! Long answer: Gotta give some backstory first, bear with me. I have been thinking so much about belief systems vs established canon. Canon says that every human who dies regardless of belief (there may be nuance I'm forgetting but I'm in full speed infodump mode rn so that's a problem for future me) goes to the Far Shore. I say that's... kinda bleak? Also I'm just not a fan of stories where there is only One Real Belief and the rest are played off as silly distraction or whatever, but I digress.
A lot of his everything is based around the idea that both belief and proper death/burial care are important to get people to the afterlife they're meant to be in. Ritual makes all the difference between going to the Far Shore vs the Fields of Asphodel, for example.
His Boatman is Charon, or at least accepts the name. Hyakinthos has a working relationship with him and has probably taken up the oars at least a few times, especially for people who need the extra care in getting to where they need to be.
There's respect there, but there's also a certain... I'm not sure I have the words for it. The idea that death in the Neath is uncertain in so many ways (whether it'll stick that time, whether the person will make it to their afterlife or if they'll slip between the cracks and end up in the wrong place, etc) can be... discomfiting, to him. So while he does hold the boatman in high regard, there's always some little uncertainty there.
(Every so often, by their standards at least, Hyakinthos will bring him a very old obol. The Boatman will always refuse it. This is a ritual of its own. They'll sit for a while and talk anyways, and then part ways afterwards a little lighter.)
#a lot of this is. very theoretical sjfndkjnhg. but that is what he believes#a belief that he's held for longer than he can remember at this point#his lover was buried wrong in the neath. with respect but with the wrong customs#a different culture doing their best but not understanding the nuance#having to exhume and re-bury his lover according to their beliefs permanently rewrote some stuff in his brain i think#he just never wants anyone else to have to go through that fear. of a loved one lost. of being lost themselves in an unfamiliar afterlife#to him final death is a blessing and a comfort and he intends to keep it that way. no fear of what comes after because they know it's okay#i'm not sure if i properly answered your question despite all that dfkgnfhkd if so i'm sorry i got possessed#belief is important in the neath but it's hard to tell where it begins and ends in a literal sense. if the far shore really is all there is#then hyakinthos would feel actively betrayed by the boatman for disregarding all these peoples' beliefs#but if the far shore is an option but not the absolute (as he believes) then it's a lot more gentle of a regard#recognizing that mistakes can be made and dreading them but understanding that the boatman is very old and doing his best#they both are really#it's. you can see the difference there#but without having a distinct idea of where the lines lay it's a little hard to say for absolute certainty y'know#whoops did not mean to leave a whole other post in the tags. i have been quiet about this guy for too long. too much time to think abt shit#ty for bearing with me i guess kdsjgdhgdfgjh#the scientist scribbles#c: hyakinthos athanasiou
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I'm sorry someone left an unwanted criticism on your fic 😢 I hope you can find fun in writing shuake again 🙏
kept this anon in my ask box for like months and im happy to report that i have written another shuake fic and i have made goro akechi pregnant by the power of my pen godbless
#also haha ty for the kind words anon but im just lwk dramatic. i guess it’s just like i didn’t really expect that…like the criticism wasn’t#mean or anything but when u receive any sort of like negative criticism on a fic when u didn’t ask for it it’s just a little bit jarring bu#it is okay !!!! i think that specifically just spooked me a bit bc it was my first ever shuake fic after writing so much south park fic for#so long haha#anyways….my very first abo fic u guys…i hope u guys enjoy mwah#also fic in question was like. it was quite literally a glee au but it was summer and i can’t explain it but i felt to compelled to write i#into existence#shuake#persona 5#asks#omegaverse
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Posted on Twt asking for questions for my boys! I had fun doing doodles for this one! Comedy's hobby is baking sweet treats for his loved ones while Tragedy's hobby is gardening and caring for plantlife!
Reblogs are appreciated please don't repost
OCs belong to me🧡💙
#my art#mox's art#my ocs#Mox's OCs#OCs: Comedy and Tragedy#I love my boys so much#TY for asking a question Maggie!! ILY/p#This is the only question I got from that post but it made me so happy!
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actually y'know what i guess i'll talk about it while i'm here
i think about this scene a lot regarding him and (obviously) this episode in general, but especially when slinkman is like... actually a character that gets development and changes over the course of the show, it really does say a lot to me
and with the placement of scenes here, it's right in between lazlo, raj and clam getting slinkman to muster up the courage to show off his past aspirations, to give it another go, only to be reminded of how all that turned out, panic, and flee back to what's comfortable... aaand in between him finding out everything is actually lumpus' fault, and very purposefully sabotaging a budding dream, at that
and i think he's sort of gone through life in this way for a long time, this humble and passive acceptance of the roles and duty he's been placed in, of the world around him deciding who he's supposed to be. especially to lumpus. a best friend, sure, but nowadays an assistant, an emotional support crux to keep him (and the camp) from falling apart. i've always ran along with the idea that running camp together was lumpus' idea from the start, and look how it's turned out
i love how he says "pull yourself together", too, the tone he has as if he's scolding himself for daring to think or try to be anything like that again, that he should know better by now, when the moment's far passed
although, i don't think fame and danger/excitement are what he really wants out of life, even deep down — not anymore, at least. in the end, it's a lot more about healthy self development and sort of taking back "control" of his own path in life, right? and at the same time, a little of all that now and then wouldn't hurt...
see i've been typing this out for an hour but forget everything i just said and let's get slinkman a motorcycle
#camp lazlo#talk#slinkman#analysis#and okay maybe i am little obsessed with him tying the neckerchief here but#it's just such a good way to... show this little moment i guess#looking right in the mirror#i'm a bit specific about slinkman too so keeping this in mind while figuring out post-story stuff is interesting actually#because the ''what do you really want to do now?'' question does have to come again...!#and it'd be pretty easy to have him chase this sort of thing again; to even take over as scoutmaster; and that is sort of#the ''obvious'' thing to do; right?#but maybe i just have other thoughts about how he's changed#(...and i just am not really convinced that slinkman as scoutmaster would be very entertaining without lumpus to bounce off of LOL)#cus another thing that i think sort of dominates his life is like... monotony#working is like breathing to this fucking guy#and i feel like he could really use some summer vacation himself#let's get him a motorcycle. okay. i need to think about this#another great thing about this episode is that i love pretty much any and all instances of slinkman sticking it to lumpus in some way#(talking about two fictional characters fighting with each other) it's fun; it's healthy; it's free!#and the background music here before it's crashed by lumpus... LOL
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your ult bias and how you need to be loved
@tbzhub thank you so much for tagging me 🥺💖
ofc i'd choose younghoon, q, and kihyun 🙂↕️ they're my three ults after all- 😌💖
explains why i'm normally a fluff writer, doesn't it?
tagging: @hugnyeons, @proudahgase-exol, and @tolkpopfan link to the quiz~
#no pressure to do the quiz and/or post the results- it's totally up to you!! 🥰🙂↕️💖#anyways kate rambles after this :)#someone put on ki's rain & youth on ty vv much and maybe some crying&laughter#i love reading about this type of love and like yeah the idea of receiving the same is like a dizzy daydream#the last question and the quiz results made me bawl :)#if you wish to know my answer for the last one it's 'a way out' and uh yeah that was detrimental- & when i got the results and it hit me w/#'you need to be loved in a way that reminds you of the childhood you didn't get to have' that hurt too much :) i'm so good#(i mean by 'a way out' like how ice king gave betty a way out and into the future so dw dw)#it's like that question flowed right into that answer- this quiz hit the nail on the head... that's for sure-#tag games#tagging games#kate rambles
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one of my finished ych commissions. other finished artwork can be found here. the tailmon is based on the twitter meme / trend of tailmon with pikachu build
#brace yourself long tags of rambling ahead#so i tend to ask my commissioner's permit to post a watermarked smaller version of the art on twt#im a person of my word so im not gonna assume or much less abuse that to simply cross-post to every platform im in#this one is a bit special bc the commissioner is an old friend#tldr we were talking about life and career being the typical adults and they randomly went 'ok draw smth for me' and just... paid#so it's like.... a joke commission? but also not bc the pyment is real??#but yeah they left the decision of what to draw to me. i suggested what i was thinking of drawing and they went#'do it. finish 2023 with a bang' lmaooo idk if this is banger enough but i clearly had a blast. record breaking fastest comm i've ever done#back in school i doodled pikachu everywhere like breathing so it helped#apparently im given the freedom to share the art however and wherever i like too so yeah bc this is a meme and it is best shared with ppl..#its kinda cool how we now have the ultimate answer to the question 'which is better digimon or pokemon' tho#upon which im just gonna show this chonky polite tailmon#tailmon#gatomon#digimon#png#finished commission#dood you probably wont see this but ty for the random commission :'))
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life drawing with friends : ice skating edition!! thanks to the great Anaïs who came with her outfit and ice skates :) and kept the pause with her legs up there for a couple minutes, which, how. I was very impressed and very grateful to get to draw it
#she did the whole routine : putting on one skate#then the other#then tying up the hair#there's a few poses i didn't post here but she was so good#was very much thinking about amarguerite's stories while drawing#ice skating#figure drawing#the last pose i drew the arms wrong by the way#she was doing this specific technique the name escapes me#i ran out of time and added the second arm too low but she was doing it properly#also we asked lots of questions while drawing it was both fun and educating#hehe
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