#ty alyssa that was fun!

[tabletop-nightmare]

4, 8, 9, 28, 30 (weirdly specific artist asks)

:) Hi! 4. Fav character/subject that's a bitch to draw - There are plenty of things I wish I was better at drawing at, that I would draw more if I thought my skills were up to par with what I imagine in my head (mostly cityscapes and backgrounds tbh when I do get a hankering I have so much fun). But right now in particular in the cyberpunk (Hollowpoint) campaign I'm in one of the pcs has a fucking mask that makes me want to commit crimes on their player. There is now a year long running gag about this man not fucking taking his mask off and how much easier its going to be for me to draw him once we see his face. I want to draw him more!!! I really do!! I love all of the pcs to death but like motherfucker, your mask (and hood tbh) is a nightmare stop.

8. What's an old project idea that you've lost interest in - I would be amiss to not bring up the Sburbia/Long Play tarot deck BUT its more like on hiatus, I'm just taking a big ol' break. Slowly been creeping through the swords so its still a work in progress just really slow now that most of the majors are out of the way. Other than that it's mostly animatics and animations. My animatics folder is called 'Animatics u will never do' because I realize most of the time I bite off more than I can chew. I've finished one (1) animatic and its the one that's pinned to the top of my blog. 9. What are your file name conventions - Haha. A mix. Sometimes snappy titles, sometimes just informational, sometimes just absolute garbage. Some favorites:

28. Any art events you have participated in the past (like zines) - Eh. Do art shows in high school count? Does huevember count? I'm a little too nervous to be a part of a zine or zine like thing, plus I never seem to catch them in time, or think I'm good enough for them. 30. What piece of yours do you think is underrated - None of them :) I don't really have it in me to put stock in funny internet numbers anymore. My friends like what I make! Which is enough for me. I really just post my stuff here so I can scream about it into the internet void, get the energy out. But that's the really humble response so if I had to choose, probably the sburbia/LP tarot series or a few pieces I cooked up for Hollowpoint. But its not surprising since it's not fandom related art.

[kingcunny]

might be a moot question bc Alyssa living to raise her sons potentially changes a bunch of shit down the line, but: do you think Alyssa would have liked/Approved of aemma? wb (assuming she lives that long for some reason), alicent? its possible some of her fondness for daella would transfer to her kid but it's also possible she'd like. project that grief onto the kid she died giving birth to. I'm spinning her around in my mind i love my toxic bi #boymom

no this is an interesting question!… honestly i think if alyssa had lived longer to raise her sons they wouldve ended up …Weirder. alyssa going through a massive psychological shift after her marriage to baelon and having children. cough cough #boymom grooming+emotional incest cough cough helicopter parenting.

just to streamline things a bit im gonna assume alyssa and baelon dont have anymore children after aegon dies. and baelon still dies when he does canonically.

i could see alyssa orginally pushing for a rhaenys/viserys marriage. (possibly) unlike baelon or jae, she has no qualms about marrying her son to someone who will walk all over him, and unlike aemon im not sure she would be concerned with what being married to a male relative would do to rhaenys claim to the throne. rhaenys and viserys are just like her and baelon when they were kids. without a sister, viserys marrying his cousin is the next best option. but after getting overruled by her brothers/father i think she would approve of aemma/vis as a counter offer. maybe attracted to the idea of having daellas daughter, the last living peice of her, close. back home. she couldnt protect daella, and maybe even blames herself a bit for her being sent away. but maybe she can protect her daughter instead? maybe that will provide her some peace?

but that would, of course, not include protecting aemma from viserys. or the grooming, sexual abuse, duties of marriage that come with being his wife. thats what aemma (and daella) actually needs protecting from, thats also one of the few things alyssa *cant* protect them from. she couldnt even save herself from it. inversely, i think alyssa would end up contributing to the grooming of aemma. maybe even doing it thinking shes helping aemma. making it easier for her. or something.

while alyssa is attracted to the *idea* of aemma, i think actually being around her would be very hard for the exact reason you mentioned. aemma would be just a constant reminder of the sister she lost. and how/why she lost her. everytime alyssa sees daella in aemma shes torn between love and grief and anger all over again. i think alyssa would *want* to be close with aemma, but theres just too many conflicts of interests.

alyssa was only 17 when she had viserys! she wouldve been 46 when he married alicent if she lived. i *could* see an argument for alyssa meeting alicent and seeing this young girl surrounded by grown men who want to sleep with her and feel her protective instincts kick in. *but*…. we need to remember alyssa wouldve met alicent after baelon dies…

a little aside cause its relevant for this- my alyssa uses valyrian supremacy as a way to cope with the generational cycles of abuse and incest. being raised on the doctrine of exceptionalism, i think it would be very hard for alyssa to accept and cope with the idea that her big brother was killed by something so mundane as *illness* that baelon the brave was brought down by *biology*. so like viserys, i think she would start looking for other explanations. 

and like viserys, the man who suddenly shot up the ranks of lords to become the second most powerful man in the kingdom, whose whispering in her fathers ear, essentially ruling in his name, sending his daughter to his rooms. would be an attractive person to blame. so i think alyssa would actually dislike alicent, through her paranoia of otto. *especially* if she learned about alicent and viserys affair… thats just sinking their claws in deeper

im not entirely sure how things would play out after aemmas death. i mean, i know it would retraumatize alyssa, daellas daughter dying the exact same way she did. alyssa failed her, again. i imagine her lashing out at viserys, blaming him. but also not wanting to give up her control over him, especially now that hes king, by doing something like, say, leaving for dragonstone.

so i dont think alyssa wouldve approved when viserys told her he wanted to marry alicent. it probably wouldve caused a huge fight between the two of them. i could see alyssa wanting him to marry laena, for the same reasons that she wanted him to marry rhaenys. she does *not* approve of viserys marrying outside the family, *especially* to ottos daughter. he killed viserys father! and she *knows* he knows that too…

all that aside, i just dont think alyssa and alicent would get along on a personality level. alyssa is rowdy and nasty and rude. that would clash hard with alicents proper goodgirl upbringing. shed think alicent was stuck up and a prude. alicents faith i think would be another point of contention with her valyrian supremist mother in law.

but well viserys is the king now, she doesnt control him anymore, he can make his own dumb decisions. alyssa at that point i could see deciding to take a little vacation to dragonstone, skipping her sons second wedding. making her disapproval obvious.

at *best* her and alicents relationship would be extremely strained… and im not sure how much alyssa would want to interact with her grandchildren from alicent…

[thedeadthree]

VALAENYA TARGARYEN -> a song of ice and fire

sword of the morning, queen of swords, she dragon of destiny, mistress of myth, visenya born again, lady of legend. princess of prophecy…. yawn!

icons | template by @jacobseed ⚔️🥀🕯🐉💫🌊

[leilanihours]

Anything with Kate Martin pleaseee!

# GOLD RUSH

pairing: kate martin x teammate!reader

word count: 1780

warnings: none !

summary: kate being the cutest most adoring girlfriend ever while you get ready on live.

⭑ from lani: this was heavily inspired by this video bc kate actually might be the cutest human to ever walk the earth ty

masterlist !

"WHAT IS UP guys, welcome back to yet another game day prep," you greet to the camera propped against the mirror in front of you, "today we are going up against lsu, so there's gonna be a lot of tension in the arena today."

user1: hi y/nnnn

user2: is caitlin there?

user3: team lsu lol

user4: y/n what shampoo/conditioner do u use??

it's become a tradition for you to go live and do a little "get ready with me" on the most highly-anticipated gamedays, as you wanted to get fans excited for the face-off.

the first one you hosted got lots of love, viewers falling in love with your bubbly personality and witty remarks to your teasing teammates.

you were currently in your hotel bathroom, one you shared with your teammate, gabbie marshall. but all the girls have borderline separation anxiety, leading to half the team hanging out in your room as you all prepare yourselves for the game.

"are you on live?" you hear a voice whisper. turning your head, you see kate peeking hers into the bathroom a small smile on her face.

"yeah," you reply sweetly, "you wanna say hi?"

she nods, immediately sliding the door open to join you.

"looks like we have a special cameo today, folks, y'all got lucky," you laugh

"hi, live, how you guys doin?" kate says.

as you begin doing your skincare, you see kate take a seat on the closed toilet in the corner, carefully observing your routine.

"you okay, babe?" you ask with a grin once you notice her puppy-dog like stare. the nickname slips from your lips like first nature, appearing cordial to the camera but the two of you know the hidden meaning.

user1: help kate looks so starstruck wtf shes adorable

user2: omg wait i use that same moisturizer

user3: "BABE"?

user4: not kate just sitting on a damn toilet LMAOO

you and kate have always been close, ever since your freshman year at iowa. on the court you two bounce off of each other's energy constantly, frequently managing to raise the stakes of the game.

fans have noticed it too, of course, with proud taps after one of you makes a shot and suspiciously long post-game hugs.

the team is fully aware of your private relationship, respecting your wishes of secrecy. there have been pointed questions from reporters and interviewers, but you all know how to dodge a personal question one way or another.

a few minutes go by of you telling a funny story from the bus ride to the hotel, consisting of caitlin getting caught on video singing horribly off-key. with promises of posting the recording later that evening, you and kate both laugh at the memory.

as you start on your light makeup look, you begin reading some comments popping up on your screen.

user1: thoughts on reese and clarks rivalry??

user2: wheres caitlin and gabbie

user3: y/n can u say hi alyssa

user4: what are your guys' top 3 music artists

"'thoughts on reese and clark's rivalry?'" you read, "i mean, they've said it before, there's no bad blood between them, just some good old basketball competition," you state with a small smile as you start blending in a light layer of skin tint.

"yeah, i mean some light-hearted teasing and trash-talking always makes a game more fun in my opinion," kate chimes in, "especially when it leads to an increase in viewership."

"for sure, for sure," you smirk at her in the corner of your eye, sneakily suggesting your own dating rumors circulating before every game.

"'top three music artists?'" kate reads, "dude, mine changes 24/7 so i have no idea anymore."

"ooo," you contemplate the question as you look up in thought, "gotta be taylor swift...sza...anddd frank ocean? no, kehlani! wait actually-"

"i don't think you know either, y/n," kate laughs.

"oh whatever," you say, rolling your eyes playfully, "speaking of music, can you put some on?"

"i gotchu," kate responds, picking up her phone to connect to the bluetooth speaker on the counter.

soon enough, you hear the familiar tune of "gold rush" by taylor swift, a song publicly known to be your favorite (kate knows this, naturally, which is why she played it first).

once she notices your stretched grin and quiet hum to the lyrics, she mirrors your expression, feeling light in her chest at the sight of your happiness.

she stands up from her spot on top of the toilet seat, slowly coming up behind you to observe you even closer.

the two of you make eye contact in the mirror, immediately blushing and smiling like madmen. and, of course, nothing goes unnoticed by the live watchers so comments of you two rush in.

user1: aww the way they smile at each other im crying

user2: okay when is it my turn to get a gf like y/n or kate 😢

user3: not kate stealing my gf..

user4: they gotta be dating right??

you and kate scan over the messages, trying to keep a straight face as to not give away anything.

"kate can you do me a favor and get my setting spray from my suitcase? its in a clear bottle with a pink cap," you ask her, but shes too entranced by your beauty to hear.

"sorry, what was that?"

you giggle, "my setting spray please?"

"oh! okay, be right back, guys!"

you return your focus to your makeup and the song playing, the melodies too addicting for you to not sing along.

as kate comes back into the fairly spacious bathroom, you thank her for getting your spray, placing it on the marble counter. she reclaims her spot behind you, continuing to watch you work as if you were the most interesting movie she'd ever seen.

she wishes she could place her arms around your waist and rest her chin on your shoulder to whisper sweet words into your ear. sadly, for the sake of your private relationship, she had to settle for admiring from afar (which is really only like a foot away from you).

"y/n!" you hear one of the girls call out from the bedroom, "can i borrow your eyebrow gel? i forgot mine in my room!"

"sure, it's in here, come grab it!" you yell back. a few seconds later, jada comes sauntering into the bathroom, immediately taking notice of kate's presence and the phone displaying your every action.

"oh my gosh, heyy livee," she smiles, waving her fingers at the camera.

user1: omg jada ilysm

user2: still waiting on catilin tbh

user3: JADA!!

user4: my fav girls :((

as you apply small amounts of blush to your cheeks, jada stands next to you fixing up her eyebrows wih your gel. and, yes, kate is still behind the both of you. she has begun to fix her hair into her signature ponytail braid, quickly maneuvering her dirty-blonde locks with ease after working the style for so long.

"my teammates are so prettayy," she exclaims to the livestream once she'd finished with her hair.

"you're prettyy," jada replies, singing.

"pretty beautiful," kate sings back while you're simply giggling at the girls' antics.

you're too concentrated on curling your lashes correctly to notice that kate was specifically gazing at you with that last comment, nothing but pure love and admiration behind her words.

jada, who is now out of the frame and catching kate's longing stare in your direction, turns around to face her, mouthing: "you're so whipped."

kate playfully shoves her out the bathroom and returns to her former seat on the toilet.

"okay, guys, sorry we haven't been talking to y'all that much," you say as you step back from the mirror, "the last step of my makeup look is to apply some setting spray that, thankfully, the lovely kate martin has gotten for me."

"wait, can i do it?" kate asks, eager to help you out.

"yeah, come over here," you respond.

kate shoots up and over to you and takes the bottle from your hand. her fingers brush against yours for a split second, sending a tingly feeling throughout your body. at this point, you don't even need to put blush on, kate's subtle touches bringing more than enough color to your face.

"i'll tell you when to stop, okay?"

"okay, close your eyes for me," kate mumbles, putting a delicate hand on your shoulder.

obliging, you feel light spritzes of mist fall on your face as kate controls the bottle nervously, not wanting to mess up.

"don't hold back, i'll tell you when it's good, don't worry," you laugh.

almost a whole minute goes by, which slightly concerns your girlfriend.

"more??" she exclaims.

finally, you tell her you've received a good amount, opening your eyes to look at her. you're instantly met those blue eyes youve grown so fond of. and again, you can't keep the smile off your face when she maintains eye contact in an irritatingly addictive manner. you practically forget about the phone pointed on the two of you, stuck in your own worlds.

"gametime, guys, let's go!" you hear a voice echo, snapping the two of you out of your trances.

user1: OMG WAS THAT CAITLIN

user2: i know my wifes voice when i hear it

user3: are we just gonna ignore the eye contact between kate and y/n??

user4: yall r so delusional lmaoo

returning to your phone, you pick it up off the mirror and follow kate out of the bathroom.

"okay, guys, hopefully you enjoyed today's live," you cheer, "make sure to tune in to espn tonight to watch the game!"

you hear an overlap of voices, each one saying goodbye to the viewers.

"bye live! see you soon!" from kate.

"bye my lovely people!" from gabbie.

"mwah love you guys see y'all at the game!" from jada.

"go hawkeyes!" from caitlin.

you snicker as you watch more and more comments about caitlin pour in, your followers going crazy at a small glimpse of their favorite athlete.

as soon as you end the live, everyone begins rushing out of your hotel room and down to the lobby to wait for the bus. hurriedly, you grab your backpack and make your way towards the door, but an eager hand pulls you back.

before you know it, a set of soft lips is placed against your own and two hands are glued to your waist. instead of jumping in surprise, you immediately melt into the kiss, finding comfort in your girlfriend's familiar embrace.

"sorry," she blushes once you pull away, "been wanting to do that all day."

— leilani signing off ! 📁

[nickssidewitch]

Ride Me Like A Carnival…

Go! Go! Go! A story where Matt and his girlfriend Alyssa are leaving the carnival, and it reminds him of a certain trending song…

Warnings: SMUT, Dom!Matt x Sub!OC (named Alyssa), RIDING!!

***

“You’re so annoying,” Alyssa sighed, rolling her eyes as she walked alongside her cocky boyfriend.

Matt snorted. “You know that’s not true,” he argued slyly, making his girlfriend groan and push him away from her playfully.

The two walked up to Matt’s car, hopped in, and began to drive home.

“It is true, especially right now,” She contested. “Winning all those fucking games got to your head.”

“I’ll make you get to my head…”

“Oh no…”

“Head of this dick!”

Alyssa sighed. “You just wanted to make that joke ‘cause that didn’t make any sense.”

“True,” he admitted with a shrug. “You laughed though, didn’t you?”

Though Alyssa turned her head to face the window and crossed her arms, Matt could still see a small grin on her lips. He chuckled and slapped his hand onto her thigh closest to him, gripping it. “See? I’m funny.”

The two got home and took their shoes off by the door. Matt walked into the kitchen, getting a fresh, cold root beer from the refrigerator.

In the living room, Alyssa walked up to the mirror on the wall and began to take off her earrings. “That carnival was fun, right?”

Matt made his way to the living room and sat on the couch, cracking open his root beer. “It was, honey.” He took a sip of his drink before continuing. “Everytime I hear the word carnival I think of that Kanye song. Y’know, the one with Carti and Ty Dolla Sign?” He laid back against the couch, his legs spreading more widely and hands behind his head. “You ride dick like a carnival, baby?” He grew a smug smirk on his face as he waited for his girl to answer.

“Um, I-” Alyssa paused. She wanted to say yes, she really did, because she knew that was the smarter, more confident route to take. But, there was just something about the question mixed with Matt’s current cocky demeanor that made her hesitant.

Although the smirk remained, Matt cocked an eyebrow as he noticed her hold back a response. “You're not sure?” He questioned.

Alyssa continued to blush and stutter, “I guess so? Well, I-”

Matt quickly interrupted her statement of weakened confidence, beckoning her over with a couple of flicks of his hand. “C’mere, sweet girl,” he said cutely, juxtaposing the egoistic look on his face. His hands beat his thighs, acting as a signal for her to sit on them.

The girl sat atop one of his thighs, but it wasn’t enough for Matt as he grabbed one of her legs and swung it around his waist. This put her completely sat on his lap, her chest facing his, her groin placed on his, and their eyes locking with each other’s.

“You ride dick like a carnival, baby?” He repeated the question and looked into her eyes as if he was searching for the answer that her mouth prevented her from speaking. His hands gripped into her waist and his thumbs began to rub circles into her lower back, a habit he developed the first few times she was ever on top of him. It seemed to calm the two of them down, and the motion just stuck.

The soul-searching look in his eyes seemed to hypnotize Alyssa to finally answer a weak, “Yes,” which was all Matt needed to initiate their upcoming venture.

The boyfriend, still wanting to show himself off after a whole evening of winning carnival games and proving himself to be “something along the lines of the best” as he called himself (he claimed to be modest and used that line of phrasing to prove it), brought his lips to Alyssa and kissed her for a couple of seconds, biting her lip and tugging at it as he pulled back and placed his hands behind his head again. “Prove it.”

Alyssa swore she could hear herself gulp.

He chuckled as he watched her blush. He could feel her body tense as his request, which egged on his smug performance. “Prove to me that you can ride like that.” His eyes landed down between his legs and shot back up into hers, almost like a gesture. “Pull my cock out and show me what you got, princess.”

Alyssa followed his commands and brought her hands between his legs and her own, unzipping his black jeans and pulling out his dick. The sight made her marvel every time, and her mouth salivated instinctively at its form. Thankfully, she was wearing a summer dress, so she could easily pull up the fabric to reveal her own private area.

Matt bit his lip as he watched the scene play out. His girlfriend gave his dick a couple of strokes with her hand, and he took this time to lick four of his fingers, coating them with his saliva to use as a sort of lube to rub at Alyssa’s pussy and warm her up.

Alyssa’s head threw back at his touch, halting her from continuing with her actions. But she was quickly made to resume as she felt a stinging slap on her left ass cheek. She looked at Matt, who said, “C’mon you gotta ride me, sweetheart. Don’t take too long,” he paused to lean forward and whisper in her ear, “or I’m gonna have to take charge. You understand?”

Alyssa nodded and finally gripped onto the shaft of his dick to line it with her entrance. She lifted her body up slightly to line herself with his dick as well, before finally sliding down onto it. She could feel Matt’s hands holding her waist and helping her situate onto him, but he quickly placed them back behind his head. Alyssa could tell he really wanted her to truly prove herself to him.

The feeling of his dick inside of her made the two of them groan, not only in satisfaction, but also to hold themselves back from having an orgasm prematurely. Alyssa began to slide herself up and down repeatedly, letting out little whimpers and soft moans as her arousal started to build up. Her boyfriend’s eyes followed her movements up and down as he observed her. It was like he was genuinely examining her, seeing if she could really provide the proper evidence for her claim that she could ride him “like a carnival”. He had to keep this act up for at least some more minutes before giving her his final conclusion.

Alyssa’s hips began to sway in circular motions at a decent pace, but she kept this up only for so long before she started to whimper and slow down. Matt tried to rile her up a bit, giving another slap and grip onto her ass cheek. But this was no dice. His girl was unraveling on top of him, but not in a good way.

“Baby, come here,” he commanded in a soft tone. He didn’t actually want her to follow his command, so he just wrapped his arms around her back and pulled her in closer. She was trembling, the poor girl. Her head rested on his shoulder and her arms mimicked his as she wrapped them around his back. Matt shushed her whimpers and began to speak to her soothingly in her ear. “It’s okay, baby, shh,” he whispered. “I know, it’s a lot. You’re overwhelmed, I know. I can feel it. Yeah? You are?” He leaned back for a small second before shifting back again. “I know, I see it. You’re okay, I promise. I’ll help you out, but only to give you a little boost, okay?” His hands rubbed at her quivering back to help her calm down.

Alyssa could only respond with a “mhm”. Her boyfriend let out a small breath of a laugh before bringing his hands down to her hips and gripping a bit tightly. “Okay, you might wanna hold onto me,” he warned her, and as soon as she did, his lower body began to thrust upwards into hers at a rapid pace, causing the girl to let out a drawled out moan. She tried to hold her sounds back as best as she could, but the moment Matt fixed his head to look at her face and study her expressions, she opened her mouth and released all of them.

Matt nodded at her reactions as a sign of reassurance. He let out with a grunt and gritted teeth, “There you go, there you go! There’s my girl!” Alyssa giggled for half a second before a spot in her tummy began to twist in arousal, causing her to get back to moaning again.

Matt felt her begin to tighten around him, and this caused him to stop his movements. He quickly slapped her ass multiple times to get her to continue her previous riding without losing the momentum he gave her. “Just had to help you out a little, baby, it’s okay.” He chuckled and began to watch her ride him again. Her movements seemed so much more fluid and he could tell she had more intention.”There she is! Look at my girl! Riding me like a pro!” A huge smile appeared on his face, one of enjoyment and pride.

Alyssa finally clamped around his dick fully, her orgasm hitting her hard. Her body shook, but she never ceased riding Matt.

“Fuck, I’m close, Lyss,” he groaned. “Please… fuck.”

Alyssa bounced herself up and down a few more times before he pulled out and came on both of their bodies. The couple’s chests heaved as they tried to regain their composure.

“Did I do good?” Alyssa finally asked, her eyes sparkling with curiosity and a hint of post-sex gleam.

“Of course, honey,” He assured her. “Rode me like a carnival.” He chuckled and helped her off of his lap.

“I did,” She said with a confident smile. A tinge of her own ego began to appear on her face which made Matt’s pride in her grow instantly.

“I knew you had it in you all along, sweetheart,” he explained, grabbing a tissue from a box on the coffee table to clean his dick off. “I could see you slipping a little toward the middle. That’s why I helped you a bit. Why did you doubt yourself, honey? If you don’t mind me asking.”

Alyssa blushed. “Because you’re you. And I’m me. I didn’t wanna let you down.”

Matt gave her a warm smile and pulled her in close to him. He got another tissue and began to help Alyssa wipe herself off as well. He never missed out on aftercare. “You could never let me down. You’re great at riding me. And I love watching you ride me, too. Don’t doubt yourself like that. And plus, I’ll always be your biggest cheerleader. That’s why I only helped you a bit and didn’t make you cum with my actions. I wanted you to prove to yourself– not me– that you’re great at riding. And what did you learn?”

“I am,” she replied, which made Matt kiss her forehead.

“Good girl,” he said with a nod. “Now we have to prove the other part of the song.” Alyssa looked at him confused before he continued, “Is your head so good you’re a honor roll?”

[female-buckets]

I hope the Connecticut sun made some new fans today!!! I hope Dewanna and Alyssa and Dijonai and Ty and Brionna got some new fans!!! It's so fun to be a fan of amazing players on an amazing team full of friendship and love!!!

[batmanisagatewaydrug]

every single book I read in 2022. all 129 of them.

jesus christ

let's start with the best of the best; everything else will get listed beneath the read more because I'm not an animal. even just picking out my favorites is honestly probably going to get pretty lengthy, even though I'm trying to keep the synopses short.

batmanisagatewaydrug's noteworthy books of 2022

Complaint! (Sara Ahmed, 2021) - necessary for anyone doing diversity work in higher education, tbh

America is Not the Heart (Elaine Castillo, 2018) - achingly gorgeous novel of heartbreak and healing.

The School for Good Mothers (Jessamine Chan, 2022) - honestly? I feel very good calling this my favorite book of the entire year. sensitive, smart, chilling.

Black Feminist Thought (Patricia Hill Collins, 1990) - truly ashamed to say I didn't read this sooner. Collins' clear-eyed analysis remains crazily spot-on 30+ years later.

Hurts So Good: The Science and Pleasure of Pain on Purpose (Leigh Cowart, 2021) - I read this book so early in 2022 and literally have not stopped thinking about it since.

Batman: King Tut's Tomb (Nunzio DeFillippis, Christina Weir, José Luis García-López, and Kevin Nowlan, 2009) - dare I say the most fun I had with a comic all year.

You Made a Fool of Death with Your Beauty (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022) - a romance unlike any other. queer, fun, sexy, bold as hell, and joyfully life-affirming.

The Dangers of Smoking in Bed (Mariana Enríquez, trans. Megan McDowell, 2021) - DELICIOUSLY creepy short stories that will lurk in your brain forever.

Lesser Known Monsters of the 21st Century (Kim Fu, 2022) - if a more perfect short story collection exists I am yet to find it.

The World We Make (N.K. Jemisin, 2022) - I normally hesitate to include sequels on a list like this, but god DAMN Jemisin is the queen of modern spec fic for a reason.

We Do This 'Til We Free Us: Abolitionist Organizing and Transforming Justice (Mariame Kaba, edited by Tamara K. Nopper, 2021) - excellent collection of Kaba's abolitionist writings, drawing on years of organizing experience and wisdom.

Jade City (Fonda Lee, 2017) - look out! new favorite doorstopper fantasy series alert!

Priestdaddy (Patricia Lockwood, 2017) - about the best damn memoir I've ever read. heartbreaking and hysterical in turns, poetry the whole way through.

Batman: The Long Halloween and Batman: Dark Victory (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 1996 and 1999) - it's always so exciting when something much-hyped lives up to the hype in every way. Batman at his grim and moody Batmaniest with a Gotham that’s deliciously bleak.

Station Eleven (Emily St. John Mandel, 2014) - I didn't think I'd like this book much at all, then ended up proposing on the second date. oops!

I'm Glad My Mom Died (Jennette McCurdy, 2022) - you will also be glad McCurdy's mom died, and also experience every other known human emotion along the way.

Kaikeyi (Vaishnavi Patel, 2022) - SPLENDID mythology retelling + political fantasy.

My Body (Emily Ratajkowski, 2022) - haunting haunting haunting personal essays about Ratajkowski's life as a model and subsequent alienation from her own body.

Batman: Bruce Wayne, Murderer? (Greg Rucka et al, 2002) - genuinely what can I say I'm a messy bitch and I love when the Bats are having a terrible time.

The Batman Adventures Vol. 2 #1-17 (created by Dan Slott, Ty Templeton, Rick Burchett, Terry Beatty, and Bruce Timm, 2003) - a continuation of the Batman: The Animated Series universe that frankly just fucking rules.

Little Rabbit (Alyssa Songsiridej, 2022) - a potent and erotic adult coming of age story.

The Right to Sex: Feminism in the Twenty-First Century (Amia Srinivasan, 2021) - thorny, difficult, vital essays.

Fearing the Black Body: The Racial Origins of Fat Phobia (Sabrina Strings, 2019) - jaw-droppingly thorough research into the role of fatpobia played and plays in the project of race-making.

On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous (Ocean Vuong, 2019) - yeah so it turns out no one was REMOTELY exaggerating. Vuong really is That Good.

Hench (Natalie Zina Walschots, 2020) - wild fun with a ruthless protagonist and her sex villainous beetle man boss; what more could you ask for?

Love Your Asian Body: AIDS Activism in Los Angeles (Eric C. Wat, 2021) - learning about queer history makes me feel like I’m holding something so vibrant and fragile and precious right in my little queer hand. this book is an emotional journey in such a shining way.

Never Have I Ever (Isabel Yap, 2021) - EXCITING short story collection centered on girls having Just The Weirdest Time.

and everybody else:

fiction:

Light From Uncommon Stars (Ryka Aoki, 2021)

Our Wives Under the Sea (Julia Armfield, 2022)

A Tiny Upward Shove (Melissa Chadburn, 2022)

A Prayer for the Crown-Shy (Becky Chambers, 2022)

Disorientation (Elaine Hsieh Chou, 2022)

The Laws of the Skies (Grégoire Courtois, trans. Rhonda Mullins, 2019)

The Monster Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2018)

The Tyrant Baru Cormorant (Seth Dickinson, 2020)

Greenland (David Santos Donaldson, 2022)

Dead Collections (Isaac Fellman, 2022)

The Halloween Moon (Joseph Fink, 2021)

A Dowry of Blood (S.T. Gibson)

Nightmare Alley (William Lindsay Gresham, 1946)

The Vegetarian (Han Kang, trans. Deborah Smith, 2015)

The Metamorphosis (Franz Kafka, trans. William Aaltonen, 1915)

Before the Coffee Gets Cold (Toshikazu Kawaguchi, trans. Geoffrey Trousselot, 2019)

Woman, Eating (Claire Kohda, 2022)

Long Division (Kiese Laymon, 2014)

Jade War (Fonda Lee, 2019)

No One is Talking About This (Patricia Lockwood, 2021)

Portrait of a Thief (Grace D. Li, 2022)

Elatsoe (Darcie Little Badger, 2020)

A Snake Falls to Earth (Darcie Little Badger, 2021)

Glitterati (Oliver K. Longmead)

Gideon the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2019)

Harrow the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2020)

Nona the Ninth (Tamsyn Muir, 2022)

The Memory Police (Yoko Ogawa, trans. Stephen Snyder, 2019)

Even Though I Knew the End (C.L. Polk, 2022)

100 Boyfriends (Brontez Purnell, 2021)

Flowers for the Sea (Zin E. Rocklyn, 2021)

Any Way the Wind Blows (Rainbow Rowell, 2021)

Interview with the Vampire (Anne Rice, 1976)

Aristotle and Dante Discover the Secrets of the Universe (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2012)

Aristotle and Dante Dive Into the Waters of the World (Benjamin Alire Sáenz, 2022)

Into the Riverlands (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Siren Queen (Nghi Vo, 2022)

Strange Beasts of China (Yan Ge, trans. Jeremy Tiang, 2020)

short story collections:

The Memory Librarian: And Other Stories of Dirty Computer (Janelle Monáe, Yohanco Delgado, Eva L. Ewing, Alaya Dawn Johnson, Danny Lore, and Sheree Renée Thomas, 2022)

Walking on Cowrie Shells (Nana Nkweti, 2021)

Terminal Boredom (Izumi Suzuki, trans. Polly Barton, Sam Bett, David Boyd, Daniel Joseph, Aiko Masubuchi, and Helen O’Horan, 2021)

nonfiction:

Gender Trouble: Feminism and the Subversion of Identity (Judith Butler, 1990)

How to Read Now (Elaine Castillo, 2022)

Playing the Whore: The Work of Sex Work (Melissa Gira Grant, 2014)

What We Don't Talk About When We Talk About Fat (Aubrey Gordon, 2020)

White Tears/Brown Scars: How White Feminism Betrays Women of Color (Ruby Hamad, 2020)

Belly of the Beast: The Politics of Anti-Fatness as Anti-Blackness (Da'Shaun L. Harrison, 2021)

Some of My Best Friends: Essays on Lip Service (Tajja Isen, 2022)

One Day We'll All Be Dead and None of This Will Matter (Scaachi Koul, 2017)

How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America (Revised Edition) (Kiese Laymon, 2020)

Sister Outsider (Audre Lorde, 1984)

Conversations with People Who Hate Me: 12 Lessons I Learned from Talking to Internet Strangers (Dylan Marron, 2022)

Cultish: The Language of Fanaticism (Amanda Montell, 2021)

World of Wonders: In Praise of Fireflies, Whale Sharks, and Other Astonishments (Aimee Nezhukumatathil)

Histories of the Transgender Child (Jules Gill-Peterson, published as Julian Gill-Peterson, 2018)

Yoke: My Yoga of Self-Acceptance (Jessamyn Stanley, 2021)

A Queer History of Fashion: From the Closet to the Catwalk (edited by Valerie Steele, 2013)

Transgender History: The Roots of Today's Revolution (Revised Edition) (Susan Stryker, 2008)

The End of Policing (Alex S. Vitale, 2017)

The Trouble With Normal: Sex, Politics, and the Ethics of Queer Life (Michael Warner, 1999)

Read My Lips: Sexual Subversions and the End of Gender (Riki Wilchins, published as Riki Anne Wilchins, 1997)

poetry:

Short Talks (Anne Carson, 1992)

Content Warning: Everything (Akwaeke Emezi, 2022)

Prelude to Bruise (Saeed Jones, 2014)

Alive at the End of the World (Saeed Jones, 2022)

Bright Dead Things (Ada Limón, 2015)

Motherland Fatherland Homelandsexuals (Patricia Lockwood, 2014)

Nature Poem (Tommy Pico, 2017)

Night Sky with Exit Wounds (Ocean Vuong, 2016)

Time Is a Mother (Ocean Vuong, 2022)

comics:

Batman: One Bad Day - Mr. Freeze (Gerry Duggan, Matteo Scalera, and Dave Stewart, 2022)

Spandex - Fast and Hard (Martin Eden, 2012)

Harley Quinn: The Animated Series: The Eat. Bang! Kill. Tour (Tee Franklin, Max Sarin, and Marissa Louise, 2022)

Batman: Whatever Happened to the Caped Crusader? (Neil Gaiman and Andy Kubert, 2009)

The Sandman: Preludes & Nocturnes (Neil Gaiman, Sam Keith, Mike Dringenberg, and Malcom Jones III, 1988)

The Sandman: In the Doll's House (Neil Gaiman, Michael Zulli, Mike Dringenberg, Chris Bachalo, Malcolm Jones III, and Steve Parkhouse, 1989)

The Sandman: Dream Country (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcolm Jones III, Colleen Doran, and Charles Vess, 1991)

The Sandman: Season of Mists (Neil Gaiman, Kelley Jones, Malcom Jones III, Mike Dringenberg, Matt Wagner, P. Craig Russell, George Pratt, and Dick Giordano, 1992)

The Sandman: A Game of You (Neil Gaiman, Shawn McManus, Colleen Doran, Bryan Talbot, Stan Woch, and George Pratt, 1993)

Run, Riddler, Run (Gerard Jones and Mark Badger, 1992)

Catwoman: When in Rome (Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale, 2005)

Batman: Year One (Frank Miller and David Mazzicchello, 1986)

Batman: One Bad Day - Penguin (John Ridley, Giuseppe Camuncoli, Cam Smith, and Arif Prianto, 2022)

Batman: Bruce Wayne - Fugitive (Greg Rucka et al, 2002)

Batman: One Bad Day - Two-Face (Mariko Tamaki, Jaiver Fernandez, and Jordie Bellaire, 2022)

Batman & Robin Eternal Vol 1 & Vol 2 (James Tynion IV and Scott Snyder, 2015 and 2016)

Batman: Their Dark Designs (James Tynion IV, Guillem March, and Tomeu Morey, 2020)

The Joker War Saga (James Tynion IV and Jorge Jiménez, 2021)

Papergirls Vol. 1-6 (Brian K. Vaughan and Cliff Chiang, 2016-2019)

Real Hero Shit (Kendra Wells, 2022)

Poison Ivy #1-6 (G. Willow Wilson and Marcio Takara, 2022)

and some gaming guides!

Monster of the Week (Michael Sands, 2012) - great game. so cool. cannot wait to actually play it someday.

Thirsty Sword Lesbians (April Kit Walsh, 2021)

special shame zone because I want you to know how bad this sucked, do not read this:

Rethinking Sex: A Provocation (Christine Emba, 2022). patronizing, puritanical, reductive, painfully cisheteronormative. weirdly afraid of group sex. not actually that provocative, just aggressively Catholic.

and last but most certainly least, a comic that I want to remind you all fucking sucked just one more time before the year is done.

Batman: One Bad Day - The Riddler (Tom King and Mitch Gerads, 2022)

Tom King, go fuck yourself. Mitch is cool though, the art slapped.

[matthewgiggles]

📸photographed by Eva Vermandel (2010) purchased by @alyssa-ty On tumblr | my edit (no filters just fun with photoshop)

I know I know… but again PLEASE leave the very important credit at bottom ( it’s from Alyssa who kindly donated the picture)

Will post one of her pictures of the shoot once a week ☺️

[tori-spring-enthusiast]

Hi everyone :D this is my blog fucking enjoy ig. Fun fact i have a collection of converse that i've been building since i was a round 12 i think And for the ppl who know me irl, yk who u r, 🤫

So heres some things about me enjoy

Some characters i relate to/kin yk r

Tori spring

Tao xu

Alyssa foley

Sirius black

Michelle mallon

Ash fox

Some of my favourite artists r

Taylor Swift

Conan Gray

Olivia Rodrigo

Artic monkeys

Beabadoobee

Laufey

ABBA

Some of my favourite books are

solitaire

Coraline

They both die at the end

Blackout

The starless sea

My fave movies/shows r

Juno

500 days of summer

Thirteen

Fantastic mr fox

Corpse bride

The nightmare before Christmas

The end of the fucking world

Derry girls

I really enjoy writing, photography (even if i'm not very good at it 💀), music, movies and makeup and beauty yk and now i litro can't think of anything else so ty for reading sorry it was long 😭

[kitten4sannie]

I was really excited to tell you my favorite fic of yours, but the more I reviewed, the more I was "oh shit— which one?? Oh boy... [stares hard at masterlist]" So I think im going to rave.

My first 🥹 was 'hide and seek' with yunho.. primal play opened the door so wide— I can't get it closed 😭 The one that make me get over my shyness to talk to you outside of the tags was 'new quest unlocked' I am still literally obsessed 😵‍💫 God i love that mingi like something crazy..omg sannies 'train ride' and the hard thought for pissing himself [knocks self out]. 'Night city' I love the stupidly annoying ho brother cops. Yeosang being a meanie— ughhh literal favorite depiction of him. Seonghwa's mommy, anything, and his breeding kink. Oh, and the knight's tale—

I'll be here forever, but that's a small piece of my heart. Alyssa I love it all and I love you 🫵🏾🩷

Hugs, kisses, and all my love ��️‍🔥

gosh nabi you never fail to be the loveliest sweetheartttt it makes me feel so loved and cherished ;-; 💞💞💞 omgg i’m so glad i could awaken some things inside you hehe that’s always fun to discover more about yourself~ ahh half orc mingi was my fave mingi that i’ve written so far!! i’m so happy you enjoyed that and that it allowed us to start talking <333 omgg i almost forgot about train ride :0 and little piss boy sannie ajansb i’m gonna knock myself out too lmaoo but fr i love that you have so many favorites it makes me feel really happyyy 🥹💜 ty for sharing a piece of your heart with me darling i’ll keep it safe and sound for you :’) i love you toooooo mwahh

[astrogremin]

Honestly thought that the issue might have been the control thing. Because it was an issue. That was always a problem. But I'm grown and that don't tell me what to do thing inside of me has melted a little bit. Honestly not being in charge and in control all the time felt so good. To just trust someone else. Finally a relationship where I don't have to be constantly in control to feel safe. I was envisioning our fucking walkers together you know? Because we grew old together and such. But that wasn't even the issue. Or maybe it was. I was telling my therapist about some of the messages and she was saying that them being upset about certain things I said or didn't say, like I didn't say it the way I should've or whatnot. Was another form of control. I don't really see that. I just felt like they didn't really like me or like what I was saying or doing. All while I knew they liked me. It was confusing. Alesia was kind of mean to me at times. Daniele can be kinda mean. Ty was never directly mean, Caitlin wasn't mean, MK wasn't mean. Jocelyn wasn't directly mean. Tiffany wasn't mean, the boys I've dated weren't mean. I have been bullied and teased my whole life. Some of it is just teasing and I'm laughing, some was straight up cruel and abusive like my father. So I feel like I have thick skin. But when the call is coming from within the house....like I'd rather have no banter with my partner and not be made fun of than have laughing banter with mixed in meanness. I think. Idk. I'd rather neither I guess. I just kept thinking it was going to get worse. This doomed feeling. Cuz they were making fun of things I'm not even particularly self conscious about. And it started to wear me down. Can't imagine what it would be like for them to actually know my insecurities and then use them against me. A partner should be a cheerleader not an advisary. The truth is this whole thing wouldnt have lasted a month or even a week feeling like that. Just because I already had history. Wanted to give it another go. Although I let the Alyssa thing go on for far too long feeling like shit and being treated like shit.

I hate giving up. And I hate losing people. Maybe that's my problem.

[thedeadthree]

Ayrenn + basics and Verlaine + personality 💓

ALYSSA DEARIEE TY TY SO MUCH FOR THE ASK ABOUT MY BELOVED PHOENIX and! my lovely verlaine! ever since I made them and began reading the exile + golden rose.... they’ve been on the brain living there rent free with luxury room service aakjnsd so! ty again bb!

oc questions

x

1. what’s their full name?

ayrenn marcelette emelina urthemiel of plaithus!

2. what does their name mean? why were they named that?

ayrenn actually shares her name and surname with two characters from elder scrolls and dragon age! ayrenn means mountain of strength (oo she’ll need it if shes gonna survive dealing with her mom and former bestie sjnxak) I couldn’t find a meaning behind her surname but! urthemiel was the archdemon of beauty! her middle names are based on variations of the names of her moms! marcelette being a diminutive of marcelle and is derived from the name of the roman god mars! it’s fitting as she was the commander of that plaithian military and the symbolism of being a phoenix and “fires of war” hehe. and emelina is a diminutive of emmeline meaning “work!” dragon age and elder scrolls are two of my favorite fantasy worlds every (along with the witcher!) and when i was thinking of names for her they ayrenn and urthemiel popped into my head! epiphany! stars aligned etc! I knew they were perfect for her and to pay homage to the worlds I adore so much!

3. do they have any nicknames?

she doesn’t have any nicknames unfortunately but she does have a few aliases! the one she tends to use the most is either lilith or before her exile she just went by her title!

4. how old are they?

she is 24!

5. when’s their birthday?

she was born on the 19th of february!

6. what’s their zodiac sign/element/birthstone/etc.? do they believe that holds any significance?

her zodiac is a pisces with a cusp in aquarius leaning into pisces! ironically enough with her being the painted phoenix her element matches her zodiac in that her’s would be water!

(oo the internal conflict sjdans SORRY AYRENN DEAR) as those bearing the element of water tend to take everything to heart (especially things done to them.... FITTING), have a strong intuition and pick up on the emotions of other easily which is GREAT when she had a politics specialty and being the commander it was useful to read the emotions of her opponents and knew their movements before they acted on them, and..... not the most willing to open up about themselves and remain rather mysterious! and finally that her own desire for security leaves her to resort to risk taking behaviors at any cost to feel whole again! that’s her! her

and her birthstone would be the amethyst as she was born in february! and if she believe that they hold significance, I think if the circumstances of her childhood were different, if she was allowed to have a life of her own that wasn’t tethered by any red strings of fate or destinies, etc that I think there is a high chance she would have! but alas the tides of time proved that if she had hopes of such things, they’re long gone now. so she really doesn’t? what good would it do when shes been told her whole life what her fate is? what use is destiny when she has no choice on how she fulfills it?

7. what’s their species/subspecies? do they have any special/magical abilities?

she’s a mythosi with her blood infused from the procedure with that of a phoenix! and you can BET she does! not necessarily a magical ability per say, but she does have immortality (don’t remind her that saber doesn’t BAD idea), she had wings (also refrain from reminding her of THAT sajndka), resistance to flame and the ability to manipulate and release flames from her hands/body, when transformed her heart and bones would begin to glow, eyes would turn from their red into lava resembling orbs, and! her hair would become flame!

8. what “class” do they belong to (for fantasy characters)? if none, what weapon do they favor?

she doesn’t have a “set” class per say but the closest i would put her down having a class with is a sort of blood hunter/paladin hybrid? or the way solaire was in terms of class in dark souls? WAIT okay the prisoner class in elden ring is definitely a closer fit! the prisoner and ayrenn would be besties for sure kjwednw

the weapon that she prefers is a scythe! (or halberd!) ayrenn on a battlefield with a flame covered scythe.. we love to see it!

1. what’s their alignment?

shes a chaotic good! a good person with good intentions but of course her methods are unconventional (alessa and hadrian would best describe her as a hot mess with good intentions hehe)

2. which one of the 16 personality types do they fit into?

her’s would be the isfp-a “the adventurer!” it’s so interesting to me with that as I played the if and got to know her more as a character throughout reading golden rose I realized how much more fitting she is as an introvert than an extrovert! and the adventurer is a perfect bridge between those two! being charismatic and reserved all the while its so fitting!

3. what are their hobbies and interests? do they have any particular “favorites” (food, books, and so on)?

she loves to collect ornate and ceremonial daggers! and a beloved hobby of hers is to collect, usually roses or peonies, and press them into books! when she has down time picking flowers from local markets or fields she’ll make perfumes with them! best of all verlaine LOVES to give raf a hard time as much as he enjoys to give her a hard time asjnsda she is an avid collector of relics of her patron goddess aphrodite from before things went awry and the gods ceased to be worshipped! yes shes aware that’s heretical what about it? jsanja. ANYWAYS, she does! rosewater lemonade and a sweet bread with lemon icing is a true beloved of hers! romantic compilations of love notes or poetry is a dear peace of literature (GET TO WRITING RAF), and old leather bound books, pressed flowers, perfumes, relics of aphrodite and ornate daggers are her favs!

4. what are they bad at?

will she ever admit to these? that’s silly! what she isnt so great at is why she’s so grateful that hadrian is in her life, as she isn’t the most proficient in melee and swords (save for the rapier shes proficient with those!). she much prefers her daggers! (also not being the queen of pity parties at any small inconvenience is perhaps what some would say is what she isnt great at as well but she couldn’t find a reason why.. must be jealousy!)

5. what kind of things do they dislike/hate?

her ego being bruised is something she LOATHES (leo things sajnsak), that sort of hot weather that ruins a carefully prepared look with the humidity or temperature, THAT A CERTAIN BELOVED OF HERS KEEPS BEING A STEP AHEAD AND TAKES HER THINGS.. take her out for dinner not take her maps babes!

6. do they have any vices/addictions/mental illnesses?

not any that I can think of currently! but maybe vices could be her less than frugalness with money when it comes to markets? she was told to hand over her money to hadrian for the VERY REASON that as there is a market it is known by the group she will spend... all of it sjkna.

7. what are their goals and motivations?

i think what would be verlaines main aspirations would be of course to uncover the identity of this nero sort, to learn all she can about her patron goddess aphrodite and the other forgotten gods..... and to wed raf kasnks.

8. what are their manners like? Any habits?

she came from an noble-ish upper class background! her family fell out of favor with the other families back in syracusae and whatever wasn’t auctioned off was more than likely gambled off in an effort to stay relevant.. so that is why she is traveling with the white company! and because of said background she remains to have the same sort of countenance as she did back then! it makes her a DEAR to the wealthy people they meet (and she cons money from hehe).

9. what are they most afraid of?

that her own desires and ambitions, her hubris, being the downfall of those she cares about is something I would say is a fear that haunts her nightmares! sure, she wants to know all there is, and to uncover the identity of this nero and the forgotten gods is a dream of hers. but that it could come at the cost of people she holds dear is something that haunts her at times.

[waveridden]

i dont know any of your ocs so!! (hands you a 🖋)

ooooh thank you! in the interest of just like. Getting The Names out there. here are some ocs i've been thinking about lately

angela huang, who is a grad student who makes a deal with a vampire to sell blood so she gets some help paying off her student loans. whose blood? don't worry about it

ismena, the protag of a pirate story that has existed in the back of my head for years. she's the court artist and a confidante for the prince, and in a kidnapping attempt gone wrong she pretends she is the prince and meets the pirates. and i love her

savion the blade, supporting character of the same pirate story. he used to work in museums and libraries as an archivist but he got frustrated with colonialism so now he's a pirate. very very good with a sword. his husband is the head of the prince's royal guard, which is awkward but they make it work.

sadie rosenthal, from superhero rpg w/ blink and snips. she's a middle school teacher who uses illegal technology to become a vigilante. her whole arc is about going from centrism to realizing that the state will not protect marginalized people and taking it into her own hands in a very literal way and i love her so much. we have 150+ characters, somehow, but sadie might be my favorite

alyssa reyes, the plucky teen protag of a ya horror/urban fantasy novel set in las vegas. i will never write this but i think of it often. she's a pickpocket who accidentally steals a powerful magical artifact and (vaguely scary) shenanigans ensue. she can and will cuss you out in three languages

[littlx-songbxrd]

I ran out of tags

Let me finish my comments here

AH

Ah h h h h H H H H FFJFNDNDNDMDMDMMSLSKNDMSNNnkkdbddn THE PARALLEL AT THE END HOLY SHIT

YES THEY ARE OK CRYING OFFICIALLY CRYING YOU BROKE ME

If I keep my Eyes Closed

Holy shit it's been a minute. I'm sorry I am ✨Mentally Ill✨ and I also had a bad case of writers block. But here we are! Also if you recognize the slight Buffy the vampire slayer reference you get a metaphorical cookie.

Cw: meltdown

Chapter 6: You better make me better

+1.  Ty had a scar on the top of his collarbone. It wasn't super big or noticable. Just a little slit of white. Kit doubted most people would have even noticed. Unless of course you were completely fucking obsessed like him.

He had been trying to stay focused on the meeting. Imminent death and all. That was kind of a big deal. But he just couldn't stop staring at Ty and thinking about what Alyssa had said. There was this knee jerk reaction to not believe anything she said about Ty because it just couldn't be true. Not for any of the reasons she thought but because Kit just wasn't the person you fell madly in love with.

Kit was useful. Kit was good for certain things. And yeah sure there were people who cared about him now. He was starting to realize over the years, with the help of therapy that the shit his dad put him through was less then ideal. And he was worthy of love.

He still felt weird thinking that but he was sort of hoping that if he just said it in his head enough times it would stick. But the thing was, Ty was, well ty. Beautiful and brilliant Ty. Innovative, curious and adventurous Ty with so much light and life buzzing inside of him. Messy imperfect and stubborn Ty who could be so tender and then so damn cold when he wanted to be.

How could Kit ever deserve that? Ty's love?

And based on what Alyssa said, how the hell was Kit worthy of that? That all encompassing, consuming love?

The meeting adjourned for the night and Janessa gave him a look that he knew meant "I know you weren't paying attention you idiot." He smirked at her, trying to seem casual.

"You going to sleep? She asked. "I'm going out. Gonna see if there's any good bars around here. You know, creature of the night and all."

Kit shook his head. "No sorry Nessie, there's something I gotta do." He felt guilty for blowing off his best friend but he was worried that if he didn't talk to Ty now he would loose his nerve .

Janessa nodded almost knowingly. "Good luck with that."

She walked off and Kit immediately turned back to the crowd of people heading off to their respective rooms. He spotted Ty off in the corner talking to Livvy and Alyssa, which had to be tricky since they couldn't see each other. Eventually Alyssa hugged Ty, pressing a kiss to his check which still made Kit angry, and left the room.

Kit realized it wasn't actually the affection he was jealous off. It was the trust. Ty trusted her completely. And Kit had lost that. And he needed to get it back. Whatever it took.

And then Ty looked at him and his heart stopped. Because Ty wasn't just looking at him, he was staring directly into his eyes for the first time in years.

Kit had forgotten how to breathe. His eyes were so striking. So gray. Like the colour of iron. Ty had always reminded him of iron. Strength and resilience. It may bend but it does not break.

But was that really true? Or was Ty just pretending to be unbreakable?

Kit had no idea what to do or say, so he just stood there staring at Ty. It was like they were frozen in time. Honestly Kit could have stayed there forever just staring at Ty.

Finally Ty broke the silence and pulled his face into a scowl. "What is it?"

Kit flinched at the harshness in his voice. He knew what Alyssa had said, that he was just protecting himself but that didn't stop Kit from feeling so vulnerable and scared.

So he was still a bit of a pussy. Sue him.

But in his defense Ty was kind of scary when he wanted to be. Kit cleared his throat.

"I need to talk to you," he said firmly. It was only then that he realized Livvy had disappeared from Ty's side.

Ty looked confused. "Why?" He asked. "Why now? You have been avoiding me for weeks Christopher."

Kit scoffed. "You've been avoiding me too you know!"

Ok so this wasn't exactly going according to plan. But sometimes Ty just pushed his buttons a little too well.

Kit took a deep breath. "Listen I'm sorry ok? About all of it. I'm sorry for leaving and I'm so sorry I hurt you." He could hear the desperation creeping into his voice. "Believe me that was the last thing I wanted. I just-" he shook his head. "I got scared. I got so scared of something happening to you and I froze up and just lost my shit. And it was like you didn't even care."

Ty's brow furrowed. "I did care. I do care. Why else would I be here?"

Kit sighed. "I know! Believe me I get it now! Or maybe not fully but I know I read things wrong. But I need you to know that it wasn't about you Ty, it was about me. Me and my own insecurities." Kit took a step towards Ty. He didn't back away.

And Kit could see it now, what he couldn't before. There was a longing depth in Ty's gaze and his jaw was clenched like he was trying to keep walls up. His arms were wrapped around himself and he seemed to be pulling at the skin.

He was hurting and Kit just wanted to make it better.

"Listen to me," Kit said carefully. "I love you Ty. I am in love with you." His chest aches as he says it, heavy with the weight of it. But he needs Ty to hear him this time. He needs to know.

"Stop it," Ty growled. And whatever Kit thought Ty's reaction would be to hearing those words, he didn't think it would be anger. Ty glared at him furiously, angrier that Kit had ever seen him before.  "Just stop."

And if Kit was smart or even remotely sane, he would have. But he just couldn't.

"I love you," he declared again desperately. "I love you so much."

Ty snarled, balling his hands into fists. "Stop!"

Kit shook his head softly. "I love you."

Ty lashed out at the speed of lightning, grabbing Kit's shoulders and spinning him around so that his back slammed against the wall. Before he could even register what was happening he felt a blade kissing his throat.

"Shut up!" Ty pleaded. His voice sounded less angry and more desperate and shaking now.

Kit could remember the last time he was in this position. The very first time they met, a shadowhunter he had never met before pulled a weapon on him and he wasn't scared, he wasn't furious. He was just in awe.

How beautiful.

"I love you Ty, He gasped breathlessly, willing Ty to believe him. To feel it. "I swear to you I'm not lying. I. Love. you."

Ty trembled, the blade he was holding pressing even harder again Kit's throat. His eyes were full of tears. Kit felt a pang in his chest. Ty hardly ever cried.

He was well aware that Ty could take his head off like this, or slit his throat and let Kit bleed out. Kit didn't care.

If he was going to die, he wanted these to be his last words.

"I love you Ty," he whispered. 

Ty let out a whine as his body shook. The hand holding the knife was practically vibrating.

And then Kit felt it. A sharp pain at his throat, followed by a wet feeling. It probably should have bothered him more him more.

But the most concern he felt was when he saw Ty's eyes widen in horror when he saw that he had drawn blood. He let out a panicked wail.

"Hey," Kit cooed gently. "I'm ok." He gripped Ty's wrist carefully, leading the knife away from him. "I'm ok Ty."

He had no idea if that was actually true but he really didn't give a crap. What Kit cared about was the way Ty had dropped the knife and anxiously fluttering and tapping his fingers. He rolled his shoulder up to his ear, scrunching up his face.

"Hey," Kit murmered desperately, trying not to scare Ty. "It's ok baby, I'm ok." He tried to reach for him but Ty flinched out of his grasp whining again. Tears were streaming down his face.

Kit's heart felt like it was breaking. "Ty it's gonna be ok," he pleaded, but Ty just shook his head frantically and pulled at his hair. Kit slowly took another step towards him.

"Please just tell me what to do."

But Ty just sobbed, gasping for air. Kit reached for him again and took Ty into his arms and this time he didn't fight him. Kit wrapped himself around Ty and squeezed as tightly as he could. Ty buried his face in Kit's neck and wailed, a sound so full of fury and agony. It was a sound that Kit had heard many times when his friends or other autistic people were having meltdowns.

Kit pressed a kiss to the side of his head like he had seen Alyssa do. "It's ok sweetheart just let it out," he whispered. "I love you."

Ty gasped, taking frantic breaths. "I can't," he whimpered. "I can't. It's not safe."

Kit had no idea what Ty meant by that. Alyssa would know his traitorous brain whispered. But he wasn't Alyssa. He was Kit, and he needed to trust that was good enough for Ty. That he was what Ty wanted.

He held him tighter, running a gang through Ty's hair. "Yes it is," he breathed. "You are safe with me Ty. You are always safe with me."

Kit had no idea how long he stayed like that, just holding Ty in his arms. Time seemed to just fade away. He still remembered the first time. When they were both still so young and had no idea what was in store for them. When he had no idea what he was feeling, why he felt so compelled to stay.

Ty's cries were lessening now, Kit could feel his heart racing against his. It was almost as if they were both trying to break free and merge. Ty sighed and wiped his eyes on Kit's shirt, finally staring at him again.

"You're bleeding," He pointed out.

Oh yeah. Right.

Kit realized with a laugh that he had completely forgotten. Ty looked confused.

"Don't worry," he smiled. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

Ty wasn't convinced. "Still, you should let me give you an iratze," he protested. "I should never have-"

Kit cut him off. "It's ok, I'm fine Ty. Really."

Ty gave him a small smile and cupped his cheek, tracing over Kit's orbital bone with his thumb. Kit felt his heart soar.

"Ty," he said quietly not wanting to break the peace. "I need to ask you something. Please."

"Yes?" Ty looked scared.

"I don't want to upset you again, said Kit carefully. "But I just need to know. I think I already know the answer but I need to hear you say it. Just once and then you never have to say it again." Kit slid his hands up Ty's arms.

"Do you love me?" Kit murmered. It was what he should have asked that day on the beach. But then again Ty might not have been ready to answer. He might not even have known the answer yet.

Ty was silent. For several agonizing seconds he said nothing. Then he pressed his forehead to Kit's and whispered so quietly that Kit wouldn't have heard him if he wasn't so close.

"I love you."

Kit couldn't help himself. He sobbed, letting four years of misery and anguish come pouring out.

For years now he had been dreaming of Ty saying those words to him. Each time Kit would wake up in tears because he was so sure those dreams could never be reality.

Ty nudged his nose against Kit's. "Don't cry."

Kit choaked on a laugh. Easier said than done.

Ty cupped his face gently, stroking his cheek. " Please don't cry," Ty whispered.

And then he kissed him.

Ty's lips crashed into his and for a moment Kit's heart stopped before he felt a surge of emotion propelling him into action. He passionately returned the kiss, pulling Ty even closer and getting lost in his warmth.

Nothing else mattered. Ty loved him. Ty loved him. And he could feel it so clearly in the urgency and gentleness of his touch. In the way he licked into Kit's mouth and deepened their kisses like he was trying to devour Kit. Devour him whole.

The world faded to nothing as they kissed feverishly, clawing at each others skin. It was intoxicating. It felt like Ty was touching every single nerve in his body. Kit felt Ty's run his hands through his curls and pull. He let out a slight moan in response.

He could still feel their hearts racing together as Ty pinned him firmly against the wall. He broke the kiss and smiled slightly, something Kit rarely saw especially lately.  It made him want to smile too.

It always did. Ty's happiness was like a balm for the soul.

Ty leaned in again and kissed the spot above the corner of Kit's mouth. One of his freckles, Kit realized.

Kit sighed. His head was spinning. He felt so light, like he was floating. Like he finally knew it was gonna be ok. He was gonna be ok.

It felt like coming home.

*Five years later*

Ty had always been fascinated with the night sky, even as a child. He loved to look up at the stars and trace the various constellations with his gaze, even making up new ones. He would draw specific patterns, organizing them into groups and categories.

Or he would count them.

Livvy always thought it was ridiculous.

You can't count them all Ty-Ty. That's impossible.

It's not about counting all of them, He would say. I just like to count them. It calms my mind.

Then Livvy would giggle and say how ironic that was seeing how much he hated math.

Ty could look back on the memory know with fondness and smile instead of being overcome with grief. He had lost Livvy some time ago, a few months after he and Kit had entered a romantic relationship. The connection had become too weak and it wasn't safe to attempt to keep her with them.

It was painful. But this time it was almost bearable. Like there was some part of him that had been preparing for that moment for awhile. And he still grieved, in the sense that he was fine for weeks and then it hit him like a tsunami. And the he cried. He screamed. He yelled and lashed out any anyone nearby.

But through it all, Kit was always there. His fiance now. The word still brought a bubbly giddy feeling. It was almost ridiculous how much Kit Herondale had an affect on his emotions. He could completely take Ty over and Ty wouldn't mind.

Speaking of...

"Hey!" Kit called from up ahead, "look what I found!"

They were walking along the beach at night eager to take a break from the party that was going on back at the institute. It was Helen's birthday and Aline had insisted on inviting everyone they knew, which of course resulted in enough noise and chaos that they could still hear it on the beach.

Kit had run ahead as he had a tendency to do on occasion and now was returning with something in his hands. A turtle, Ty realized. The sight instantly brought on fond memories, memories of when things were still new and they barely knew each other. But it still felt right. It still felt safe.

"I've decided to name him Murtle," Kit said cheerfully. "Murtle the turtle."

Ty shook his head fondly. "How do you know it's a male turtle? Should you really be assuming the turtle's gender?"

"Oh fuck off," Kit replied lightheartedly. "What can I say, I got a feeling. You wanna hold Murtle?" He held the very unimpressed looking turtle out to Ty.

Ty grinned, taking Murtle out of Kit's out stretched palms. "Of course I do."

"That's the smile," Kit murmered, almost to himself. "You smiled the same way the first time I saw you holding a turtle."

"I was just thinking about that!"

Kit gazed at him lovingly, his eyes so full warmth and devotion. "I swear Ty, sometimes it's like the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. For a change to see that smile."

Ty's chest clenched. He thought of his own dark days with cloudy thoughts and heavy limbs. "I know how you feel," he murmered. He cupped the side of Kit's neck and leaned down to brush his lips against his.

"Excuse me?" A timid voice sounded beside them. They both turned to look.

She appeared to be a girl about Mina's age, around 9 years old. She had two puncture wounds that had scarred over on her neck.

A vampire.

Ty had always known that there were vampires trapped in child form for eternity. He had just never actually seen one up close. She could technically be hundreds of years old and she looked like a little girl.

It was quite fasinating.

Ty resisted the urge to ask her any questions that might be deemed inappropriate.

"Hello," he responded cautiously. Ty then realized he was still holding Murtle the turtle. Kit glanced over at him and seemed to realize this as well.

"Oh. Yeah uh, Ty you should probably go put Murtle back while I talk to Sarah."

Kit knew her?

"Wait," the girl (Sarah his brain supplied) spoke up. "I actually just wanted to ask you about your necklace," she pointed to the Herondale pendent resting against Ty's chest. "Does that mean you're engaged?"

Ty tried not to laugh as the Deja Vu hit him. He could remember clear as day all those years ago every time people assumed he and Kit were together

He looked over at Kit who looked nervous, almost as if he was afraid of what Ty's answer would be. That wiped any amusement from the situation.

Because Ty knew what he was thinking about. All of those times people made those assumed at reacted in anger and annoyance. Maybe even what may have seemed like disgust.

It was fear. Ty always knew that. Fear of being vulnerable, of admitting what he wanted. He never wanted to make Kit feel like he was ashamed of him or of his love for him.

Ty wanted to spend the rest of his life bathing Kit in his love so that he never felt alone or afraid ever again.

He reached for Kit's hand and squeezed it tightly, turning back to Sarah with a proud smile.

"Yes we are."

And we're done y'all! Btw if you're wondering I got the name Murtle from the Dr. Suess novel Yurtle the turtle.

Tagging: @lavender-scented-rat   @littlx-songbxrd @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan  @tired-vin @phoenix-and-dragon @amchara @wagner-fell @sandersgrey @the-wckd-powers @spooky-drusilla @unhinged-aroace @the-blackdale @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas

[castawavy]

Alyssa Njoki for @moonaive & @virginnotsaint’s 

           💖 LOVE ISLAND 🌴

I’ve never entered a love island challenge so I thought I would give it a shot! ❤

name: Alyssa Njoki

nickname: Aly

pronouns: she/her

sexuality: bisexual

occuptation: Simstagram ‘model’

fun-loving Aly loves to party, an outgoing gal she’s always the first and last at a party! after spending a few holiday seasons out in sulani working on a resort she was torn at having to go home and decided she would much rather stay! Love Island seems like a perfect way to improve her social media presence (some say she can be self absorbed but Alyssa likes to think she’s ambitious). Deep down though she’s a good person and she hopes secretly that she might find love... Though it wouldn’t hurt to increase her Simstagram following, the cash prize also doesn’t seem so bad - who knows maybe she will fall in love with someone who will help her win it?  ❤

thank you for reading!! and ty for hosting a challenge it looks fun! :-)

[quaranmine]

ALYSSA <33 congrats on 1k that is so cool of u ily !!!! :D !!!!!!!

can i request lastlife scott!! or if ur feeling up to it,,, life jimmy? TY :] !!!!!

first to die, last one alive

hi grey ily and this was genuinely SO fun to draw, so thank you for your request and thank you for your message <3 aaaa I hope you like it, I'm proud of how it came out! i love Jimmy's red life skin so i had to draw it!