#unless you werent fucking obsessed with him

[advisorykitty]

can you please make nyen X reader smut or just normal PLEASE I NEED MORE

Provoked

Nyen x Reader

Living in Luther’s house had always been an experience, especially with everyones odd habits and unspoken rules. One of those rules was simple: don’t mess with Nyen ESPECIALLY when he’s working out. But today deciding you had a death wish ,you decided to break that rule.

The day had been frustrating. Luther had sent you on another errand, and by the time you got back, your patience was wearing thin. You walked into the living room, groceries in hand, and spotted Nyen in the middle of his workout. He was dressed in his black tank .His body moving with precise, almost mechanical, discipline as he knocked out push-ups with ease.

It wasn’t just the sight of Nyen that irritated you—it was everything. The way he ignored everyone unless it suited him, the way he carried himself like he was better than everyone else. He always acted like the world revolved around him, and today, you were done pretending that didn’t bother you.

“Do you ever do anything useful besides work out?” you snapped, tossing the grocery bag onto the counter with more force than necessary. The clattering sound of cans and boxes echoed through the room.

Nyen didn’t respond at first. He paused in mid-push-up, holding the position without breaking a sweat, and turned his head just slightly to glance at you. His expression was impassive, unreadable, as if asking you to repeat yourself but something in his eyes told you that he was already annoyed, guilt was the last thing on your mind.

“Maybe if you spent as much time helping out as you do flexing in the mirror and admiring your lazy ass self, you’d actually contribute something around here,” you added, the irritation clear in your voice.

Slowly, Nyen pushed himself to his feet. His movements were fluid, almost too controlled, like a predator that was deciding whether or not to pounce. He turned to face you fully, his eyes narrowing as they locked onto yours. “What the fuck did you just say?”

YEESH you had definitely fucked up but there was definitely no turning back now!!!

The venom in his tone made you hesitate for a split second, but you had already made a point and you weren't going down. Irritation overpowered your better judgment. “I said, maybe if you weren’t so obsessed with looking tough, you’d actually be useful. But no, you’re just Luther’s overgrown pet who spends more time showing off than doing anything important.”

Nyen’s expression darkened, his face twisting into a snarl. “You’ve got some fucking nerve talking to me like that. You’re just a weak little human who can’t even handle a simple errand without whining.”

“Oh, I’m weak?” you shot back, stepping closer, your heart pounding with a mix of fear and adrenaline. “At least I don’t fucking kill things for fun and find pleasure in it. Fucking weirdo. Actually, do you think that makes you strong? It just makes you a psychopathic sadist.”

Nyen’s eyes flashed with anger. “Better a psychopath than a pathetic, mouthy piece of shit who doesn’t know when to shut the fuck up.” His voice was a low growl now, filled with barely restrained fury.

The insult hit harder than you expected, and for a moment, you considered backing down. But you werent a pussy so hell nah! You're already pissed from being everyones dormat and you were tired of being talked down to, especially tired of the constant tension. “At least I have a mind of my own,” you said, your voice rising. “You’re nothing but Luther’s attack dog. Without him, you’re just a lonely, aggrovated bitch who has nothing else going for him.”

For a split second, the room was dead silent. Then, Nyen exploded.

“You little shit!” he roared, his voice shaking with rage. Before you could react, Nyen grabbed the edge of the table and flipped it over with a furious snarl, sending groceries and utensils flying across the room. The sudden violence sent a shockwave of fear through you, but it was too late to turn back now.

Yeah you're definitely fucked.

His eyes were fixed on you, and for the first time, you truly realized the danger you were in.

“You think you can talk to me like that and get away with it?” Nyen hissed, taking a menacing step towards you. His hands were clenched into fists, and you could see the muscles in his arms tensing as if he was ready to strike. “You fucking idiot, I’ll tear you apart!”

Panic set in, and without thinking, you turned and bolted. You could hear Nyen’s footsteps pounding after you, fast and relentless. Your heart was racing, your breath coming in ragged gasps as you ran through the hallway, what the FUCK where you thinking?????This is Nyen where taking about and did you mention he works out everday????!!!

You desperately tryed to find a way out. But deep down, you knew you were trapped—Luther, Randal, and Sebastian had gone grocery shopping, leaving you alone in the house with Nyen and Nyon. (Plus kitty and Nana)

There was no one coming to help you.

You burst into the kitchen, and Nyon almost jumped as you guys came crashing in, his eyes opened wider as he looked down from the fridge where he occasionally liked to nap.

Your hands shaking as you grabbed a frying pan from the counter. Nyen was right behind you, his eyes filled with a terrifying mix of fury and sadistic glee. “Running won’t save you,” he taunted, his voice laced with a cruel edge. “You’re fucking dead, you know that?”

��Stay the hell away from me!” you shouted, swinging the pan wildly in his direction. But Nyen was too fast—he ducked under the swing with a snarl, his eyes never leaving yours. The frying pan clattered to the floor, and you scrambled back, trying to put as much distance between you and him as possible.

Nyen straightened up, a mocking grin spreading across his face. “Pathetic,” he spat, slowly advancing on you. “Is that all you’ve got? You really thought you could take me on? You’re even dumber than you look.”

Desperation gripped you as you backed up against the wall, your mind racing for a way out. But there was no escape—Nyen had you cornered, and he knew it.

With deliberate, almost leisurely movements, Nyen reached into his waistband and pulled out a knife. The blade gleamed wickedly in the dim kitchen light, and your blood ran cold. “I'll love seeing you fucking squirm,” Nyen said, his voice dripping with sadism.

You tried to dodge as Nyen lunged at you, but he was too fast. The knife slashed across your arm, leaving a stinging cut that sent a wave of pain shooting through you. You cried out, and it hurt like SHIT.

Clutching your bleeding arm as you stumbled backwards, the fear now fully consuming you as the reality of the situation dawning on you.

“Hurts, doesn’t it?” Nyen sneered, advancing on you with deadly intent. “That’s just a taste of what’s coming, you fucking asshole. I’m going to enjoy every second of this.”

You grabbed a chair, swinging it in his direction with all the strength you had left, but Nyen easily sidestepped the attack quite literally insulting you because you put a lot of force into that.

He was toying with you, drawing out the moment, savoring your fear. “Come on,” he taunted, his voice low and menacing. “Fight back. Or are you just going to stand there and let me carve you up?”

You tried to swing the chair again, but Nyen was too quick. He grabbed the chair out of your hands and threw it aside with a snarl. “Pathetic,” he repeated, his voice filled with contempt. “You’re nothing. Just a weak, scared little human who doesn’t know when to shut up and admit their place.”

He grabbed you by the collar and slammed you against the wall, his face inches from yours. “Any last words?” he growled, his breath hot against your skin.

Fear paralyzed you. You could barely think, let alone come up with something to say. But before Nyen could strike, a sudden noise echoed through the house—the faint sound of a door creaking open, followed by footsteps.

Somehow, while you and Nyen were busy fighting , Nyon had managed to get Luther to intervene. Luther stood beside Nyon. Luther looked at you both in the rather unflattering position you were in, his mouth set to a line. Luther hummed, which made Nyen roughly let you go.

“Fucking pest,” he muttered under his breath, before turning his attention back to you and making sure Luther had left the room.

“Looks like you got lucky. But next time…” He pressed the knife against your throat just enough for you to feel its cold edge. “*There won’t be a next time.*”

With a final shove, he let you go, sending you sprawling to the floor. Nyen glared down at you one last time, his eyes filled with unspoken threats. Then, with a snarl of frustration, he turned and stormed out of the kitchen, leaving you trembling and shaken on the floor.

As the sound of his footsteps faded, you slumped against the wall, your breath coming in ragged gasps. The cut on your arm throbbed painfully and you tried your absolute best not to start crying.

You sat there for a long time, trying to calm your racing heart and still your shaking hands. The house felt eerily silent, the earlier tension hanging in the air. Nyen had shown you a side of him one that you hoped you’d never see again..

When you finally gathered the strength to stand, you ran into Nyon who you figured (despite the language barrier) try to patch you up.

You spent the rest of the night replaying the events of today and a smile tugged on your lips.

You were definitely going to abuse the fact that Nyen was so submissive when Luther was around.

Part 2 will be out soon! Mb smut if u guys want ^_^

[quantum1mmortality]

Can you do Kung Lao with a breeding kink?? Cause I feel like he would’ve been told as a kid to have a lot of kids so that the great Kung Lao legacy doesn’t die-

Anon I am madly in love with you we're getting married

No but UHHH general NSFW hcs with Kung Lao bc you didn't give me a plot to work with(guys give me plots or just ask for hcs idc)

Tw/cw: AFAB reader, pure horniness, a lot of sort of vanilla but also kinky stuff at the same time

Not proofread but are we surprised

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He ABSOLUTELY has a breeding kink. I don't even think it's because he was told from a young age he has to carry on the Kung Lao legacy, he's just super into it

Like yeah, he definitely wants kids and doesn't want to disappoint his elders by not carrying the bloodline, but he'd do it just for shits

Like bro literally loves cuming inside, he's so obsessed with how your walls hug him in and how your pussy looks when he pulls out, leaking everywhere. Depending on the night, he'd either finger it back inside you, skip aftercare and cockwarm you, or eat you out. He's into it all

He's very obsessed with getting you pregnant with multiple kids. He'd be such an amazing dad and would train all of your kids equally, but he would have his first born son but the next Kung Lao, as per tradition.

I feel as though he'd also be into pregnant sex. He's definitely a lot more passionate and gentle than he would be if you werent carrying his kid(not saying that he isn't passionate and gentle normally). Hed be so in love with you and the fact that you're carrying his baby and would give you literally anything you want. A certain pregnancy craving? He's on it. You're having pain somewhere? He's got pain meds and he's ready to give you a massage. And you bet your ass he'd eat you out for days.

Hear me out on this: blood kink.

Am I projecting? Mayhaps. I'm sorry seeing a man like drenched in blood UGGGGGHHHHG

okay but he like

Definitely has a blood kink

Not in the traditional way tho

Like if you have a cut or something and you start bleeding he's not gonna pop a boner

I'm saying he's hardcore into period sex

Like OHHHHHY GOOOOODDDDDDD

No okay he isn't going to fuck you when he finds out you're on your period(unless you want him to)

He's gonna take care of you. He'd absolutely buy you tampons/pads and menstrual cramp pain relievers. You'd text him and say you're on your period and 30 minutes later he'd show up with a basket full of pads, pain relievers, your favorite ice cream, chocolate, and a teddy bear. Every. Single. Month.

If you were to ask him to he'd be on his knees in MILLISECONDS to eat you out. He'd take you anyway you want him to. On the couch, against the wall, he'd fuck you in the Shaolin temple if you asked.

Overall he's an incredibly sweet lover. He can be cocky at times but he'd let you put him in his place. He definitely loves giving and receiving praise, he'll slap your ass if you asked him to but he doesn't degrade you. You're too important to him and he loves you too much to hurt your feelings, even if you'd want him to

He also prefers giving oral. Most of the time he'd rather eat you out than eat the dinner you made for him

He does like blowjobs tho

He just overall likes being close to you and is the KING of aftercare. He's so gentle and he's so sweet about it. We love him

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A/n: got my boyfriend into Mortal Kombat. His favorite character is Kung Lao because he has a cool hat. He calls Kung Lao hat guy and when I told them about Raiden he started calling him pointy hat guy. They lost his shit when I said they were friends

[idcpxseur]

disclaimer: i have no genuine hatred/contempt for jess or jason! i am just very, very angry!

i hate how every guy in mystreet is obsessed with aphmau. like it pisses me off SO much. like okay. i get garroth, laurence, and aaron because you know THEY WERE HER LOVE INTERESTS IN MCD but dante??? travis???? brendan (for the literal slightest bit that he was here)??? three people who did not show any romantic interest her besides small (insignificant) crushes, that didnt go beyond playful flirtation and/or quick things that dont go deeper beyond surface level.

and i know mystreet was written in tandem with pdh but it doesnt make sense that they would include a wholesome friendship with travis and aphmau and then turn around and have them turn around to be strangers and travis flirting with her because he has an interest to her (but does... but does he actually??? or does he just like her because shes pretty like???)

thats why i like zanemau (as i will ramble abt in another post) so much because i was rooting so HARD for zane because he does flirt with her occasionally but its always backed up with a joke and he never showed any romantic interest for her. HE BECAME HER FRIEND FIRST. HE BECAME HER FRIEND FIRST. HE BECAME HER. FRIEND. FIRST.

and ofc im going to have the whole group genuinely become friends first but in mystreet it PISSES me off

and on top of that, they treat her like a prize to be won. which makes me mad because their mcd counterparts would. NEVER.

ive never talked about it here but all of the guys (excluding zane and vylad) took the biggest brunt of the character assassination tirade that jason (jason. not jess. jason. i have a firm belief that jason was a bigger contributor to mystreet than jess) went on to reduce all of the characters to cheap knockoffs and unfunny flat, static characters. while their mcd characterizations werent perfect, theyre LEAPS and BOUNDS better than their mystreet variations

and you want to know why? because they probably sat there and looked at the original version of mystreet (and mcd season 2) and said "damn, aaron is a fucking boring character" because he IS. compared to the vast majority of the characters in mystreet and mcd, aaron is largely uninteresting! in mystreet he has no real motivations. no drive, no friends, no job (that we hear about) and we never see aaron and aphmau hang out UNLESS its a scene where garroth and laurence over-fucking-react to aphmau having friends (oh god forbid the woman have male friends!) and sure he has the ultima thing going for him but we never even start hearing about that until mystreet season 3 (and pdh season 2)

and in mcd hes even worse! hes just some (probably musty) dude who came out of nowhere and saved aphmau from werewolves and has a vendetta against zane (surprise surprise, look around fucko! you arent alone, the entirety of rua'an has an axe to grind against the fucker!! get in fucking line!!). hes even LESS interesting than mcd aaron because he legit has NOTHING GOING FOR HIM. he never even made conversation with aphmau unless she was being a damsel or they were alone!!

you know doki doki literature club? when monika starts fucking around with the character files and pumped all of the girl's worst, most undesirable traits to max to make herself appear more likeable to the mc? i imagine that was jason's idea to make the boys look terrible and aaron look like a hero.

also side note: the fact that jason looks nothing like aaron weirds me the fuck out. like aphmau is obviously jess' self insert with similar hair, skin, and eye color but aaron looks nothing like jason aside the color of their fucking eyes. wack.

anyway thats it. sorry its taking me so long to update any of this, ive been trying to you know do this whole "self care" shit. its been working really well but ive been spending less time online as a result! but im working on my notes and im trying to figure out how i want to write this out! i dont have the time to write a comic book but i was thinking about writing and posting it on ao3!!! what do you think?

anyway, thats all for now. toodles!

[littlx-songbxrd]

I ran out of tags

Let me finish my comments here

AH

Ah h h h h H H H H FFJFNDNDNDMDMDMMSLSKNDMSNNnkkdbddn THE PARALLEL AT THE END HOLY SHIT

YES THEY ARE OK CRYING OFFICIALLY CRYING YOU BROKE ME

If I keep my Eyes Closed

Holy shit it's been a minute. I'm sorry I am ✨Mentally Ill✨ and I also had a bad case of writers block. But here we are! Also if you recognize the slight Buffy the vampire slayer reference you get a metaphorical cookie.

Cw: meltdown

Chapter 6: You better make me better

+1.  Ty had a scar on the top of his collarbone. It wasn't super big or noticable. Just a little slit of white. Kit doubted most people would have even noticed. Unless of course you were completely fucking obsessed like him.

He had been trying to stay focused on the meeting. Imminent death and all. That was kind of a big deal. But he just couldn't stop staring at Ty and thinking about what Alyssa had said. There was this knee jerk reaction to not believe anything she said about Ty because it just couldn't be true. Not for any of the reasons she thought but because Kit just wasn't the person you fell madly in love with.

Kit was useful. Kit was good for certain things. And yeah sure there were people who cared about him now. He was starting to realize over the years, with the help of therapy that the shit his dad put him through was less then ideal. And he was worthy of love.

He still felt weird thinking that but he was sort of hoping that if he just said it in his head enough times it would stick. But the thing was, Ty was, well ty. Beautiful and brilliant Ty. Innovative, curious and adventurous Ty with so much light and life buzzing inside of him. Messy imperfect and stubborn Ty who could be so tender and then so damn cold when he wanted to be.

How could Kit ever deserve that? Ty's love?

And based on what Alyssa said, how the hell was Kit worthy of that? That all encompassing, consuming love?

The meeting adjourned for the night and Janessa gave him a look that he knew meant "I know you weren't paying attention you idiot." He smirked at her, trying to seem casual.

"You going to sleep? She asked. "I'm going out. Gonna see if there's any good bars around here. You know, creature of the night and all."

Kit shook his head. "No sorry Nessie, there's something I gotta do." He felt guilty for blowing off his best friend but he was worried that if he didn't talk to Ty now he would loose his nerve .

Janessa nodded almost knowingly. "Good luck with that."

She walked off and Kit immediately turned back to the crowd of people heading off to their respective rooms. He spotted Ty off in the corner talking to Livvy and Alyssa, which had to be tricky since they couldn't see each other. Eventually Alyssa hugged Ty, pressing a kiss to his check which still made Kit angry, and left the room.

Kit realized it wasn't actually the affection he was jealous off. It was the trust. Ty trusted her completely. And Kit had lost that. And he needed to get it back. Whatever it took.

And then Ty looked at him and his heart stopped. Because Ty wasn't just looking at him, he was staring directly into his eyes for the first time in years.

Kit had forgotten how to breathe. His eyes were so striking. So gray. Like the colour of iron. Ty had always reminded him of iron. Strength and resilience. It may bend but it does not break.

But was that really true? Or was Ty just pretending to be unbreakable?

Kit had no idea what to do or say, so he just stood there staring at Ty. It was like they were frozen in time. Honestly Kit could have stayed there forever just staring at Ty.

Finally Ty broke the silence and pulled his face into a scowl. "What is it?"

Kit flinched at the harshness in his voice. He knew what Alyssa had said, that he was just protecting himself but that didn't stop Kit from feeling so vulnerable and scared.

So he was still a bit of a pussy. Sue him.

But in his defense Ty was kind of scary when he wanted to be. Kit cleared his throat.

"I need to talk to you," he said firmly. It was only then that he realized Livvy had disappeared from Ty's side.

Ty looked confused. "Why?" He asked. "Why now? You have been avoiding me for weeks Christopher."

Kit scoffed. "You've been avoiding me too you know!"

Ok so this wasn't exactly going according to plan. But sometimes Ty just pushed his buttons a little too well.

Kit took a deep breath. "Listen I'm sorry ok? About all of it. I'm sorry for leaving and I'm so sorry I hurt you." He could hear the desperation creeping into his voice. "Believe me that was the last thing I wanted. I just-" he shook his head. "I got scared. I got so scared of something happening to you and I froze up and just lost my shit. And it was like you didn't even care."

Ty's brow furrowed. "I did care. I do care. Why else would I be here?"

Kit sighed. "I know! Believe me I get it now! Or maybe not fully but I know I read things wrong. But I need you to know that it wasn't about you Ty, it was about me. Me and my own insecurities." Kit took a step towards Ty. He didn't back away.

And Kit could see it now, what he couldn't before. There was a longing depth in Ty's gaze and his jaw was clenched like he was trying to keep walls up. His arms were wrapped around himself and he seemed to be pulling at the skin.

He was hurting and Kit just wanted to make it better.

"Listen to me," Kit said carefully. "I love you Ty. I am in love with you." His chest aches as he says it, heavy with the weight of it. But he needs Ty to hear him this time. He needs to know.

"Stop it," Ty growled. And whatever Kit thought Ty's reaction would be to hearing those words, he didn't think it would be anger. Ty glared at him furiously, angrier that Kit had ever seen him before.  "Just stop."

And if Kit was smart or even remotely sane, he would have. But he just couldn't.

"I love you," he declared again desperately. "I love you so much."

Ty snarled, balling his hands into fists. "Stop!"

Kit shook his head softly. "I love you."

Ty lashed out at the speed of lightning, grabbing Kit's shoulders and spinning him around so that his back slammed against the wall. Before he could even register what was happening he felt a blade kissing his throat.

"Shut up!" Ty pleaded. His voice sounded less angry and more desperate and shaking now.

Kit could remember the last time he was in this position. The very first time they met, a shadowhunter he had never met before pulled a weapon on him and he wasn't scared, he wasn't furious. He was just in awe.

How beautiful.

"I love you Ty, He gasped breathlessly, willing Ty to believe him. To feel it. "I swear to you I'm not lying. I. Love. you."

Ty trembled, the blade he was holding pressing even harder again Kit's throat. His eyes were full of tears. Kit felt a pang in his chest. Ty hardly ever cried.

He was well aware that Ty could take his head off like this, or slit his throat and let Kit bleed out. Kit didn't care.

If he was going to die, he wanted these to be his last words.

"I love you Ty," he whispered. 

Ty let out a whine as his body shook. The hand holding the knife was practically vibrating.

And then Kit felt it. A sharp pain at his throat, followed by a wet feeling. It probably should have bothered him more him more.

But the most concern he felt was when he saw Ty's eyes widen in horror when he saw that he had drawn blood. He let out a panicked wail.

"Hey," Kit cooed gently. "I'm ok." He gripped Ty's wrist carefully, leading the knife away from him. "I'm ok Ty."

He had no idea if that was actually true but he really didn't give a crap. What Kit cared about was the way Ty had dropped the knife and anxiously fluttering and tapping his fingers. He rolled his shoulder up to his ear, scrunching up his face.

"Hey," Kit murmered desperately, trying not to scare Ty. "It's ok baby, I'm ok." He tried to reach for him but Ty flinched out of his grasp whining again. Tears were streaming down his face.

Kit's heart felt like it was breaking. "Ty it's gonna be ok," he pleaded, but Ty just shook his head frantically and pulled at his hair. Kit slowly took another step towards him.

"Please just tell me what to do."

But Ty just sobbed, gasping for air. Kit reached for him again and took Ty into his arms and this time he didn't fight him. Kit wrapped himself around Ty and squeezed as tightly as he could. Ty buried his face in Kit's neck and wailed, a sound so full of fury and agony. It was a sound that Kit had heard many times when his friends or other autistic people were having meltdowns.

Kit pressed a kiss to the side of his head like he had seen Alyssa do. "It's ok sweetheart just let it out," he whispered. "I love you."

Ty gasped, taking frantic breaths. "I can't," he whimpered. "I can't. It's not safe."

Kit had no idea what Ty meant by that. Alyssa would know his traitorous brain whispered. But he wasn't Alyssa. He was Kit, and he needed to trust that was good enough for Ty. That he was what Ty wanted.

He held him tighter, running a gang through Ty's hair. "Yes it is," he breathed. "You are safe with me Ty. You are always safe with me."

Kit had no idea how long he stayed like that, just holding Ty in his arms. Time seemed to just fade away. He still remembered the first time. When they were both still so young and had no idea what was in store for them. When he had no idea what he was feeling, why he felt so compelled to stay.

Ty's cries were lessening now, Kit could feel his heart racing against his. It was almost as if they were both trying to break free and merge. Ty sighed and wiped his eyes on Kit's shirt, finally staring at him again.

"You're bleeding," He pointed out.

Oh yeah. Right.

Kit realized with a laugh that he had completely forgotten. Ty looked confused.

"Don't worry," he smiled. "It doesn't hurt anymore."

Ty wasn't convinced. "Still, you should let me give you an iratze," he protested. "I should never have-"

Kit cut him off. "It's ok, I'm fine Ty. Really."

Ty gave him a small smile and cupped his cheek, tracing over Kit's orbital bone with his thumb. Kit felt his heart soar.

"Ty," he said quietly not wanting to break the peace. "I need to ask you something. Please."

"Yes?" Ty looked scared.

"I don't want to upset you again, said Kit carefully. "But I just need to know. I think I already know the answer but I need to hear you say it. Just once and then you never have to say it again." Kit slid his hands up Ty's arms.

"Do you love me?" Kit murmered. It was what he should have asked that day on the beach. But then again Ty might not have been ready to answer. He might not even have known the answer yet.

Ty was silent. For several agonizing seconds he said nothing. Then he pressed his forehead to Kit's and whispered so quietly that Kit wouldn't have heard him if he wasn't so close.

"I love you."

Kit couldn't help himself. He sobbed, letting four years of misery and anguish come pouring out.

For years now he had been dreaming of Ty saying those words to him. Each time Kit would wake up in tears because he was so sure those dreams could never be reality.

Ty nudged his nose against Kit's. "Don't cry."

Kit choaked on a laugh. Easier said than done.

Ty cupped his face gently, stroking his cheek. " Please don't cry," Ty whispered.

And then he kissed him.

Ty's lips crashed into his and for a moment Kit's heart stopped before he felt a surge of emotion propelling him into action. He passionately returned the kiss, pulling Ty even closer and getting lost in his warmth.

Nothing else mattered. Ty loved him. Ty loved him. And he could feel it so clearly in the urgency and gentleness of his touch. In the way he licked into Kit's mouth and deepened their kisses like he was trying to devour Kit. Devour him whole.

The world faded to nothing as they kissed feverishly, clawing at each others skin. It was intoxicating. It felt like Ty was touching every single nerve in his body. Kit felt Ty's run his hands through his curls and pull. He let out a slight moan in response.

He could still feel their hearts racing together as Ty pinned him firmly against the wall. He broke the kiss and smiled slightly, something Kit rarely saw especially lately.  It made him want to smile too.

It always did. Ty's happiness was like a balm for the soul.

Ty leaned in again and kissed the spot above the corner of Kit's mouth. One of his freckles, Kit realized.

Kit sighed. His head was spinning. He felt so light, like he was floating. Like he finally knew it was gonna be ok. He was gonna be ok.

It felt like coming home.

*Five years later*

Ty had always been fascinated with the night sky, even as a child. He loved to look up at the stars and trace the various constellations with his gaze, even making up new ones. He would draw specific patterns, organizing them into groups and categories.

Or he would count them.

Livvy always thought it was ridiculous.

You can't count them all Ty-Ty. That's impossible.

It's not about counting all of them, He would say. I just like to count them. It calms my mind.

Then Livvy would giggle and say how ironic that was seeing how much he hated math.

Ty could look back on the memory know with fondness and smile instead of being overcome with grief. He had lost Livvy some time ago, a few months after he and Kit had entered a romantic relationship. The connection had become too weak and it wasn't safe to attempt to keep her with them.

It was painful. But this time it was almost bearable. Like there was some part of him that had been preparing for that moment for awhile. And he still grieved, in the sense that he was fine for weeks and then it hit him like a tsunami. And the he cried. He screamed. He yelled and lashed out any anyone nearby.

But through it all, Kit was always there. His fiance now. The word still brought a bubbly giddy feeling. It was almost ridiculous how much Kit Herondale had an affect on his emotions. He could completely take Ty over and Ty wouldn't mind.

Speaking of...

"Hey!" Kit called from up ahead, "look what I found!"

They were walking along the beach at night eager to take a break from the party that was going on back at the institute. It was Helen's birthday and Aline had insisted on inviting everyone they knew, which of course resulted in enough noise and chaos that they could still hear it on the beach.

Kit had run ahead as he had a tendency to do on occasion and now was returning with something in his hands. A turtle, Ty realized. The sight instantly brought on fond memories, memories of when things were still new and they barely knew each other. But it still felt right. It still felt safe.

"I've decided to name him Murtle," Kit said cheerfully. "Murtle the turtle."

Ty shook his head fondly. "How do you know it's a male turtle? Should you really be assuming the turtle's gender?"

"Oh fuck off," Kit replied lightheartedly. "What can I say, I got a feeling. You wanna hold Murtle?" He held the very unimpressed looking turtle out to Ty.

Ty grinned, taking Murtle out of Kit's out stretched palms. "Of course I do."

"That's the smile," Kit murmered, almost to himself. "You smiled the same way the first time I saw you holding a turtle."

"I was just thinking about that!"

Kit gazed at him lovingly, his eyes so full warmth and devotion. "I swear Ty, sometimes it's like the only reason I get out of bed in the morning. For a change to see that smile."

Ty's chest clenched. He thought of his own dark days with cloudy thoughts and heavy limbs. "I know how you feel," he murmered. He cupped the side of Kit's neck and leaned down to brush his lips against his.

"Excuse me?" A timid voice sounded beside them. They both turned to look.

She appeared to be a girl about Mina's age, around 9 years old. She had two puncture wounds that had scarred over on her neck.

A vampire.

Ty had always known that there were vampires trapped in child form for eternity. He had just never actually seen one up close. She could technically be hundreds of years old and she looked like a little girl.

It was quite fasinating.

Ty resisted the urge to ask her any questions that might be deemed inappropriate.

"Hello," he responded cautiously. Ty then realized he was still holding Murtle the turtle. Kit glanced over at him and seemed to realize this as well.

"Oh. Yeah uh, Ty you should probably go put Murtle back while I talk to Sarah."

Kit knew her?

"Wait," the girl (Sarah his brain supplied) spoke up. "I actually just wanted to ask you about your necklace," she pointed to the Herondale pendent resting against Ty's chest. "Does that mean you're engaged?"

Ty tried not to laugh as the Deja Vu hit him. He could remember clear as day all those years ago every time people assumed he and Kit were together

He looked over at Kit who looked nervous, almost as if he was afraid of what Ty's answer would be. That wiped any amusement from the situation.

Because Ty knew what he was thinking about. All of those times people made those assumed at reacted in anger and annoyance. Maybe even what may have seemed like disgust.

It was fear. Ty always knew that. Fear of being vulnerable, of admitting what he wanted. He never wanted to make Kit feel like he was ashamed of him or of his love for him.

Ty wanted to spend the rest of his life bathing Kit in his love so that he never felt alone or afraid ever again.

He reached for Kit's hand and squeezed it tightly, turning back to Sarah with a proud smile.

"Yes we are."

And we're done y'all! Btw if you're wondering I got the name Murtle from the Dr. Suess novel Yurtle the turtle.

Tagging: @lavender-scented-rat   @littlx-songbxrd @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan  @tired-vin @phoenix-and-dragon @amchara @wagner-fell @sandersgrey @the-wckd-powers @spooky-drusilla @unhinged-aroace @the-blackdale @have-a-holly-jolly-angstmas

[polterbeist]

crazy how fans will describe a white boy you've never heard as ethereal, or perfection, and you'll look him up to find this face that could easily be found on a hungover junior in sweats in the back row of any college math class in america

[generalexcuse]

Alright. I am beating a dead horse here but taking time off of this show and fandom did not work. This will be the last time I ever say something about it but it’s upsetting to me so I need to vent. And to everyone saying “You are an adult man and this is fiction, why are you so obsessed? Weirdo. Learn to differentiate between fiction and reality.” I am going to address these notions as well as other problems I am having here. But really, Inuyasha was one of my first Anime, I have many dear memories and especially Rin was one of my all time favourite characters. Seeing her being mistreated like this upsets me. Ofc it does because if you watch something in formative years it’s not just fiction like a boring sitcom you watch now. Shows and characters are important to people and to simply dismiss it like that even if they would have been equally upset if it wouldnt have become canon, is infuriating. Really this is just therapeutic for me because even after weeks it’s still so baffling to me. Also please excuse the grammar and spelling mistakes. I am not a native speaker.

So the problem is obviously Sessrin and how it’s done because while I absolutely dont agree with this pairing, it would have been fine if it wasnt like it is. 

In the original show, Rin is an 8 yo child and her entire character reflects just that. She behaves like a child and depends on others. She has also been traumatized, doesnt speak at the beginning of the show and dies twice. Both times she is saved by or because of Sesshomaru. In many ways, while she has survival skills on her own, she depends on his presence alone to keep danger away. He also leaves her with trustworthy humans at the end but stays in her life as a protector. Now I like the original dynamic. It’s sweet, innocent and both characters grow because of it. Rin can work through her traumatic experiences, learns to trust others and Sesshomaru becomes a better person.  What happens afterwards only happens offscreen right until Rin gives birth to his children at the crippling old age of 15. 15. My lil sis is 16 now and couldnt consent to something like that. And she is mature af. It’s ridiculous. My blood boils just typing that shit out. And if you give me the ‘it’s legal in Japan’ excuse. In Germany a 14 yo can be with a 20 yo sexually. Still not okay in societies eyes and on tv it’s never shown as something positive. It’s even explicitly forbidden for authority figures like teachers or protectors to be with their protégé before the age of 18 because the chances of even unintentional grooming are too high. 

Now lets take a quick break and discuss how this kind of relationship usually plays out in other fictional pieces. A minor with an adult is something that is being portrayed at times and I dont have a problem with that. The problem is how it’s being done in Yashahime. And I dont mean the nonexisting character development but the fact that even in adult fiction this type of relationship isnt depicted positively. And this show is for young adults and teens that will exist way after all the discourse as the official sequel to Inuyasha. A cult anime. Meaning that in the future young people will watch it. Just like many still watch Inuyasha to this day. It’s on Netflix for fucks sake. Just to preface what comes next.   Some people say, “But cant you differentiate between reality and fiction?!?!?!” Adults can but younger people havent developed this ability to the same extent.   What happened to Rin was statutory r*pe in the USA, illegal even in Germany and should have been depicted as such unless the showrunners and fandom are okay with watching it without criticism or deconstruction. At best it was done with the intention to please the fanbase but really it’s neglectful to anyother part of the present and future audience. Not even most Animes do that. And I get that Sessriners arent into that shit in real life and an adult show could have gone this route because the viewers understand and add the criticism in their heads. Not ideal but whatever to me. But a YA show to go this route is so wrong on so many levels. The younger viewer who will watch this show in the following years might subconsciously internalize that this is acceptable under certain conditions when it’s not criticized properly on the show. That lowers their alertness when an adult actually starts to groom them. How dense do you have to be to assume that the lack of criticism on this YA show is a good thing?? Not everyone who will ever watch this show is an adult or capable of the same reasoning.

But another thing: for the same reason r*pe isnt depicted in a positive light, these types of relationships arent either. Because it’s not a positive thing and most people and showrunners dont want to see or create it as positive. Even in adult fiction, even in other anime, the media critizes and deconstructs what it’s showing because normally the showmakers dont approve but show it for realisitc or dramatic reasons. the same sessrin storyline would fit a fucking horror or thriller series. Just change the music and show it all. No showmakers in their right mind would go “Aye we got a r*pe scene coming up, lets put romantic music and have a pink filter over it.” “But it’s a different time and culture!” People will say and I agree but to have the audacity to assume that back then it was okay or that in todays Japan it’s okay, is fucked up. Think about it for a second. That’s so fucked up to think. Even if the society back then or in Japan thinks it’s okay, does it make it okay? 15 yo girls werent able to consent to adults and bear their children back then. They had to. They were raised with the expectations and they simply grew up thinking that it was the normal thing. But that doesnt make it right. That’s just societal grooming which did not prepare them in any way or allowed them the human dignity that they would have deserved. To now act like it’s all cool to just show the “positive” aspects or to twist it into something positive is so fucked up. Child Brides are a fucked up concept and to portray it as anything else is fucked up and also undermines the experience many girls still have to make. period.

I heard people say that it’s okay to portray it in this way because “Sesshomaru is not human!!!1″ and that’s correct. He is not. BUT, it’s not about being human but about maturity, consens, and independency. Him being a yokai makes it worse imo because there is an obvious power discrepancy. But in this particular fiction a good relationship could have been established (Kagome and Inuyasha for example) on those foundations but they did not because I can only assume they wanted Sesshomaru to smash and the show to pick up at a point where the other characters arent too old to be cool.

“What’s with Sango and Miroku, Kagome and Inuyasha?? It’s the same!” No it’s not. Rin was 8 at the beginning of the show. Kagome was 15 and Sango was 16-17 when they met their significant others. If you now tell me that you think 8 to be comparable to 15-17, I must ask you to get a reality check. Kagome’s and Sango’s relationships were slowburns starting when they already were able to have sexual and romantical feelings. Rin was a child. And Kagome did not kiss Inuyasha until they knew each other for a long ass period of time and bonded as friends and maybe more. Sesshomaru and Rin never were friends in the same way that Kagome and Inuyasha were because the maturity levels are way off. No adult is friends with a little child in the same way they are friends with their adult friends. And normally you dont grow into such a friendship but in the rare case you do, it’s not when she is 15 but maybe 20 or 25. 

Last but not least, Rin is not a character to the audience the same way Kagome or Sango are. Why? Because she was never shown as an adult or 3 Dimensional character to the audience. We know her as a child who wants to be with her trusted group. She is naive, but tough and doesnt have any motivation or drive on her own outside her group. Like every child she clung to the adults around her and her world outside of this group was nonexisting. Kagome wanted to be successful in school, Sango was a demon hunter and wanted to find her brother. Those are motivations and traits that dont circle around the love interest. Rin never had those because she was not developed to that point. Because she was a child and her entire existence was to develop Sesshomaru and to perhaps give the viewer a character to simply adore. What we see is of her: Mistreated child, -> Dead child -> Child being looked after and healing, -> Child not being homeless anymore -> ????? -> Teenager getting knocked up, pumping out main characters and then getting yeeted into a tree. 

This is not the way you treat a beloved character. There is no dignity to her character. “But she is fictional!!1″ Yes she is. But please show me a show that treats its child characters like this without criticizing it. 

I would have loved to see her grow as her own person. Go on her own adventures or learning a craft or developing meaningful bonds with other characters her age. Forming ideas that dont revolve around Sesshomaru alone. You know her being 3 Dimentional and not just there to pump out main characters. And if she then with 20 or 25 met Sesshomaru again and thought he was the hottest shit, I would have been fine with it. Not happy but fine. But in the little time we saw her as ‘not a child’, she still behaved the way she did before. 

[wxsuthorn]

ranking every single asian drama/series/movie that i have ever watched

(this isn’t 100% accurate cuz I’ve decided to include shows that are still airing and they may move up or down on the list once they’ve finished airing. Shows with multiple seasons/spin-offs will be counted as one unless I decided that they’re too different to be in one rank. And lastly, I don’t dislike the shows that are low on the list—unless I explicitly say so—I’ve just watched a shitload of dramas, so don’t attack me if ur fave is at 26 or smth lmao)

I did my best to keep the explanations short and avoid spoilers

1. The Gifted

Are you surprised? Do I even need to explain?

2. HIStory 3: Trapped

Again, should be pretty self-explanatory. The plot? The acting? The tropes? Utter perfection. 

3. 3 Will Be Free

Haha. 3wbf... is 3rd place. It’s just amazing and so criminally underrated. 

4. Until We Meet Again

I LOVE THIS SHOW SM I WATCHED IT 7 TIMES KLJFSLKJDFS I JUST LOVE IT PLUS FLUKE’S ACTING AND DEANPHARM ARE JUST SO HEALTHY AND WHOLESOME AND CARING I LOVE THEM.

5. He’s Coming To Me

a GODLY show !!! SO UNDERRATED. Ugh that rooftop scene TT.

6. The Untamed

I know it’s shocking that this isn’t higher up IM SORRY OKAY but this show was so good i cried so much lksjlfjdsfdjlkf GOD TIER.

7. Theory of Love

G O D L Y. It has the best scenes that just punch you in the gut and make you cry while you think about them at night.

8. Great Men Academy

WHY DOES NO ONE TALK ABOUT THIS SHOW. anyways i would die for tangmo.

9. Cherry Magic

MY FAVOURITE ON AIR SHOW. It’s so fucking good and it’s sooooo relatable and cute and fun and just GOOD. Ugh it’s a whole blessing. Literally the concept is also just amazing, plus the representation is actually accurate?? LIKE ITS SO RELATABLE JLSJFKJKJKD AND REAL. AND THE CHARACTERS ARE SO KLJLKFJDLKJLSKJD.

10. I Told Sunset About You

THE SETS ARE SO PRETTY. THE VISUALS. ASTOUNDING. THE ACTING KSLJFKJLDF. It exceeded my expectations holy crap and the chinese culture incorporated into it feels so nice and genuine. literally i watched some of it today before my chinese class lmao. OMG AND THE OST.

11. Mr. Heart

ugh this show stole my heart (pun intended).

12. Dark Blue Kiss

SO. GODDAMN. UNDERRATED. THE WAY IT ACCURATELY REPS LGBTQ+ YOUTH’S RELATIONSHIPS WITH THEIR PARENTS AND COMING OUT AND EXPECTATIONS G O D L Y

13. Oxygen

SOFT. HEALTHY. CUTE. H E I G H T  D I F F E R E N C E.

14. 2gether

would’ve been higher if it werent for the last two episodes of the show, but still2gether redeemed it quite a bit.

15. HIStory 2: Crossing The Line

QIU ZIXUAN LKDSJFLDJLJFDKJSLJ CUTE AS FUCK.

16. Where Your Eyes Linger

tHAT OST. AND THE LAST SCENE. I MEAN SHIT SLJFSDKJFLSDJFK.

17. HIStory 2: Right or Wrong

it’s so soft and at first i was so hesitant to watch it with the age gap but it was surprisingly like really healthy? and like the mom with the fruit knife?

18. Love By Chance

IM SORRY I PUT THIS SO LOW its just that klano and tumtar were not my cup of tea and i watched it mostly for aepete only for them to be apart at the end of season 1. I like season 2 but this time i only have tincan...

19. Gameboys

okay i was going to put this way higher because ITS SO FUCKING GOOD LITERALLY but then again i felt more impressed/attached to the ones above... BUT LITERALLY PEARL AND CAIREEL ARE JUST SDLSJDFSKDFL THE BEST.

20. Sotus

If i could put multiple shows in one rank i would but ive decided not too cuz then there would only be 6 ranks with 10 shows in each one... that’s why sotus is so low TT SORRY I LOVE IT BUT I LOVE OTHER SHOWS A LITTLE MORE.

21. 2Moons2

it was enjoyable. I didn’t like the main couple much tho.

22. Red Wine In The Dark Night

omg this movie i really liked it especially the ending it was really symbolic and i really like slight-horror type things. also FLUKE !!!! a KING of acting.

23. Transit Girls

SOFT WLW.

24. My Engineer

don’t get me wrong i love this show BUT it’s yet another engineering concept and i just don’t see it going above the other dramas...

25. Why R U

the plot was messy but the chemistry between the actors saved the entire show.

26. TharnType

I KNOW ITS LOW DONT KILL ME the plot was good but i don’t like how lhong was painted as a misunderstood little boi like HE IS A CRIMINAL DONT GIVE HIM A REDEMPTION ARC AND DONT TRY TO MAKE ME PITY HIM. also the non-con was uncomfy as hell.

27. A Round Trip To Love

THE CINEMATOGRAPHY AND SYMBOLISM ON GOD ISLJFDLJD. i don’t see this movie as like... an example of a healthy relationship... but the story itself is really interesting and the way the characters change yet stay the same is cool.

28. The Shipper

i enjoyed watching it but i dont think i could rewatch it. it was good nonetheless, i don’t regret watching it at all.

29. Together With Me

it’s good. but the side plots/side couples were not it. yihwa is a queen tho.

30. Ingredients

SOOOOO CUTE LSKJFDKJJF. but the plot is kinda nonexistent but IT DOESNT MATTER CUZ ITS CUTE AND FLUFFY AND UWU AND JEFF.

31. The Effect

this show gave me depression but damn the theme was so real. 

32. Guardian

everything was going great until the jin ling dude got a girlfriend and the end happened.

33. History 3: Make Our Days Count

i was spoiled for the ending and it ruined my watching experience TT

34. YYY

i love it

35. Addicted

It was my first bl drama and i really liked it but again the non-con/kidnapping thing makes me uncomfy. also IT WAS DISCONTINUED IM SO SAD SLKDJFLSKJDFKSJD IT ENDED ON A CLIFFHANGER THEN WAS CANCELLED TT

36. Make It Right

fuse took too long to break up with his gf honestly oasflsajdfaldj bUT FRAME AND BOOK.

37. My Gear And Your Gown

CUTE but its another engineering x medical student trope and it’s still airing so i dont have too much of an opinion on it.

38. Pearl Next Door

its still airing (only 2 eps are out as of the time im writing this) and istg if pearlex isnt endgame im suing.

39. Friend Zone

first season was good but season two is gripping me by the throat. 

40. Because Of You 2020

CUTE

41. The Lover

i only watched the bl cuts but they were cute

42. Lovesick

season one was great but season 2 was too long i skipped so much of it lmao.

43. Puppy Honey

ngl i only watched it for offgun lmao. season one was good and i watched the hets too but season 2 was when i only watched the offgun scenes lmao

44. En Of Love

tossara was my fave cuz they cute and healthy. 

45. As If You Whisper

it was so short but so nice TT.

46. I’m Tee, Me Too 

still airing... kinda pointless?

47. 2 Moons

the acting... oof

48. My Dream

it started out so promising but THE FUCKING ENDING WAS LKSDJFLKS

49. Kiss + Kiss Me Again

I only watched the petekao scenes lmao.

50. History 1: Away From Me

cutee

51. History 1: Obsession

interesting? 

52. HIStory 1: My Hero

fine

53. My Day

i dropped it... tell me if i should get back into it cuz i kinda just wasn’t feeling it.

54. Lily Fever

cute wlw but it made no sense?

55. Hotel Stars

sorta dry lmao

56. The Best Twins

i dropped it but thor was epic

57. Reminders

PERTH’S ACTING KSJLFDJL but like what was the point? idk it was kinda frustrating.

58. 2Wish

i honestly don’t even remember what happened lmao

59. The Moment; I Need You

i just couldn’t when the guy faked an od. other than that it was eh. second season was better than the first (idk if it counts as a season tho cuz its so short)

60. Waterboyy (series)

DISGUSTING I HATE IT SO MUCH ITS TERRIBLE FUCK THIS SHOW I DESPISE IT

[somnilogical]

<<Over the past year, however, Google has appeared to clamp down. It has gradually scaled back opportunities for employees to grill their bosses and imposed a set of workplace guidelines that forbid “a raging debate over politics or the latest news story.” It has tried to prevent workers from discussing their labor rights with outsiders at a Google facility and even hired a consulting firm that specializes in blocking unions. Then, in November, came the firing of the four activists. The escalation sent tremors through the Google campus in Mountain View, Calif., and its offices in cities like New York and Seattle, prompting many employees — whether or not they had openly supported the activists — to wonder if the company’s culture of friendly debate was now gone for good.

(A Google spokeswoman would not confirm the names of the people fired on Nov. 25. “We dismissed four individuals who were engaged in intentional and often repeated violations of our longstanding data-security policies,” the spokeswoman said. “No one has been dismissed for raising concerns or debating the company’s activities.” Without naming Berland, Google disputed that investigators pressured him.)>>

https://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2020/02/18/magazine/google-revolt.html

<<“Of the five people that were fired, three of us are trans women,” Spiers said. “That is either an unbelievable coincidence or Google is targeting the most vulnerable.”

“Trans Googlers make up a very small percentage of Googlers,” she added. “They make up a slightly larger percentage of organizers, but not 60%.”>>

https://www.theguardian.com/us-news/2019/dec/17/fifth-google-worker-activist-fired-in-a-month-says-company-is-targeting-the-vulnerable

i too am transfem and would "violate longstanding data-security policies" if my organization were being unjust. i wouldnt say that unless it were already obvious by what bits ive leaked to people about my life, because otherwise i could suppress this information and whistleblow more.

if you were an evil corp at this point youd probably try to avoid hiring any trans women in the first place because given this happens to you, its likely done by a transfem. not that this saved CFAR, who never hired a trans woman, from having a bunch of transfems whistleblow on them despite not being employees.

from what ive read from transfem google employees who are or were involved in activism, the degredation of google's culture. their complicity with ICE and weapons manufacturing mirrors CFAR's with OpenAI and DeepMind; authoritarianism and expulsion of transfems who object to this among a myriad of wrongs. to protect the territory of injustice and complicity with organizations like ICE, google needs to import "a consulting firm that specializes in blocking unions", CFAR needs to violate their whistleblower policy. if you once protect injustice, justice is ever after your enemy. morality isnt some modular thing such that you can be comitted to protecting injustice and not have this choice spiral into also invoking and protecting systems that protect injustice and invoking further things to protect those, recursively. all the way down to doing really dumb and obvious unjust things like transmisogyny (lots of future posts), changing your fundraiser after its clear its losing money, announcing that this year you got way below your donation target and claim to have no idea why.

well *i* know the compact generator for all of these things, and that makes me strong. unlike MIRI/CFAR who like the CDC rely on gaslighting the populace for myopic gains. i also wore a particle mask during the time that the CDC claimed that they were useless to preventing spread of disease, so it was really important to give them to doctors and nurses.

after so much gaslighting, *i* have built up general capabilities at arbitraging the difference between what agents claim and the truth. people who say:

<<Edit: This is a type of post that should have been vetted with someone for infohazards and harms before being posted, and (Further edit) I think it should have been removed by the authors., though censorship is obviously counterproductive at this point.

Infohazards are a real thing, as is the Unilateralists’s curse. (Edit to add: No, infohazards and unilateralist’s curse are not about existential or global catastrophic risk. Read the papers.) And right now, overall, reduced trust in CDC will almost certainly kill people. Yes, their currently political leadership is crappy, and blameworthy for a number of bad decisions—but it doesn’t change the fact that undermining them now is a very bad idea.

Yes, the CDC has screwed up many times, but publicly blaming them for things that were non-obvious (like failing to delay sending out lab kits for further testing,) or that they screwed up, and everyone paying attention including them now realizes they got wrong (like being slow to allow outside testing,) in the middle of a pandemic seems like exactly the kind of consequence-blind action that lesswrongers should know better than to engage in.

Disclaimer: I know lots of people at CDC, including some in infectious diseases, and have friends there. They are human, and get things wrong under pressure—and perhaps there are people who would do better, but that’s not the question at hand.>>

https://www.greaterwrong.com/posts/h4vWsBBjASgiQ2pn6/credibility-of-the-cdc-on-sars-cov-2/comment/uDYbgf3QtEQirbsJk

havent. its easy to see how peoples minds are warped when its someone elses glowy thing, when its someone elses friends working for an institution that that someone else routed their hopes through.

its easier to recognize betrayal and see knowledge beyond the veil when its happening to someone else, instead of you.

until you build up general skills for recognizing it, this sort of betrayal isnt infinitely powerful. and like how you might expect that smart people who live for predation would do anti-inductive smart predatory things, but they end up converging on child sex rings; institutions that betray you, because justice is their enemy will start doing dumb unjust things like banning two people from speaking about their irl experiences with anna salamon, saying their first-hand accounts werent evidence and then citing anna salamon's first-hand account of the meeting as evidence. when i objected that this was a fucked up self-serving ontology of "evidence" they acted like i was objecting to "beliefs flow from evidence" and they acted as if what i was saying was obscure and beyond their ability to comprehend. their "incomprehension" was fake, downstream of a fear to dynamically compute things in front of other people that might end up outside the orthodoxy. the result of which is they display a blue screen of death and say “i just dont understand and aaa dont explain this to me!!!”. and then people agree that it "seems like it could be an infohazard" because when your goal is the preservation of the matrix, everything that tears it down looks like hazardous information.

or a cfar employee, in response to claims that anna's transmisogyny influences CFAR's hiring choices, claiming that anna salamon, head of CFAR, is not involved in CFAR's hiring. until i post proof from another CFAR employee pursuing personal vengeance against the org for hiring their rapist where its tangentially mentioned and they suddenly "realize" that anna salamon, head of CFAR, is involved in CFAR's hiring process.

or a thousand other injustices that have burned themselves into my brain during my months of talking with people under the assumption that they were simply mistaken in their path to saving the world. when they were actually un-mistaken in their path to having babies and a low chance of personal death. hoping and expecting someone else will take heroic responsibility for the planet.

like when you drill down to the base of injustice, it bottoms out in dumb and petty injustice. like the structure doesnt go infinitely high and complex, if you go down to the base level, you just need a bit of courage to not flinch away from what you see even if it seems that it means the ruin of something you ran your hopes and dreams through.

--

"isnt this a little... extreme?" i hear some people ask. ""dont protect regions of injustice?" that sounds like the end product of obsessive compulsive fixation on virtue at the expense of practicality."

well, assuming the algorithm seeding this response is a systemic reasoning tool, it should forkbomb when you consider if youd output ""dont protect regions of untruth?" that sounds like the end product of obsessive compulsive fixation on virtue at the expense of practicality." in response to eliezers essay. the principle behind both is the same such that if you hold by one you should hold by the other.

all of these things have parallels. if you want to see what is happening with MIRI/CFAR, theres a lot of mutual information with whats happening with Google.

[dazaiapologism]

Preach! Oda never understood Dazai, he was just the only one who underestimated him and saw a lonely lost teenager. He is completely unable to see the bigger picture as Dazai points out before the other runs in his demise. This simplicity and naïvety made Dazai like him (as pointed out in dead apple) but also as portrayed in Beast makes it very obvious that Oda never saw Dazai, because he is the same lost person as Dark Era Dazai but Oda can't blame it on an adult behind him, so he blames Dazai

Like I don't get the obsession of him being good for Dazai, and the only one who understand him, if he were Beast Dazai would have been alive because Oda would have seen that he was just the same as Dark Era Dazai. But he doesn't because Oda has never been able to see behind the act to see the motivation, he only sees the masks. Chuuya on the contrary sees the desired outcome Dazai has in mind and deciphers the act. Hence, Chuuya can not exist in Beast other than being vaguely mentioned.

ok disclaimer i have not read beast but from where im at in reading dark era, my sense is that oda in general does not understand how to look past the surface, and even when things begin to hint at being more complicated, he actively avoids making it deep, even to the point of willfully denying reasonable conclusions. he doesn’t seem to have fully conceptualized what the mafia does, he very doggedly refuses to accept ango being a traitor pretty much until he is directly personally betrayed.

on one hand right thats very obviously appealing to dazai bc everyone else in his life is playing 4d chess with their own secret rules, and i get that too its like the idea of just relaxing and saying what you mean and are thinking sounds so blissful and indulgent. on the other hand, oda’s ability tells us he DOES have that sixth sense for things happening under the surface, he just refuses to acknowledge it unless it directly threatens his own life. 

his whole deal is that he refuses to kill, because it would mean he can’t write a novel, right? so on some level he recognizes the inherent gravity of taking a life. and yet still when dazai starts talking its like all of that goes out the window. he’s so focused on the fact that he’s a grunt and dazai is an executive and how that must define the way they interact (even when he is explicitly given permission to throw that mentality out), he cant even properly conceive of what talking to him as a peer would be like. which is stupid. they’re fucking friends. he should be able to tell that despite the difference in organizational rank, dazai would happily listen to what he says. 

there’s a line where oda is like ‘if it werent for the difference in rank i would’ve punched him’ YOU SHOULD HAVE. LITERALLY YOU SHOULD HAVE. it honestly feels like cowardice, plain and simple, that he cant speak up about it. i mean this is all the POINT of oda’s character, its why his dying words are so unsatisfying and hopeless, its why he had to die, to reinforce that the way he was living was always flawed. it doesnt make his death any less tragic, especially considering there were parts of the way he lived that dazai was able to carry forward, but im gonna plant myself firmly in the oda critical camp here.

[silencedtechnophile]

==> Do something about it

The ship hummed around him in the darkness. Something, somewhere, was beeping near the meat puppet hung in the rigging that limited his abilities with a biological bottle neck. His head was so fuzzy. Which is what they wanted. He was too smart, they knew what kind of damage he could do if he werent forcefully throttled. 

He worked slowly. The plan had come to him in an instant, as he'd gotten encouragement from the helm chat. He could do something. He could affect his situation. He was not fucking helpless, he refused to be.

First he carefully hacked into the mediboard that controlled his blood chemistry. He fiddled around with it so its output would remain steady, but it would cease giving him the brain fogging drugs.

That took a while to make it out of his system, every moment of it afraid someone would draw a random blood draw to double check the mediboard, though that was passingly rare. They trusted their equipment.

As his head cleared his body began to hurt, he had a sudden more complete awareness of the agony of the living wires burrowed under his skin, and the way his shoulders were wreched and taking all his weight.

He had to adjust the output again to smooth out his heart beat so they wouldn't be alerted.

Pain was fine. He could deal with pain, he could think and that was what mattered right now in this moment. Blessed clear thoughts. Every moment he delayed was a moment his gamble might be discovered so he worked quickly, spoofing his address from outside the ship while he expanded his own permissions. HE could open and close doors, he could even open and close airlocks, but he wasn't trusted with them.

He wormed his way into the controls, granting himself admin powers at the root level.

Then he just had to wait.

This was the part he had the least control over. Her movements.

Now that he'd given himself root acess and no longer needed the clarity to hack the ships permissions he left the door he'd created open, and went back in to fix his medications and outputs back the way they had been, by the time he had his opertunity he would be fully drugged again, they wouldn't be able to tell it was him. ------------------ Being the Empress had its perks. No waiting in lines, getting to take par in destruction and culling without consequences, running fleets of ships, not having to tolerate any mischief, being feared and respected by everyone at default. But most importantly? Not having to do shit unless you want to. This is one thing Meenah took advantage of as much as possible. If she didn’t have to get up and go somewhere to get something done, why would she?

In her younger years, the idea of taking the throne had caused her nothing but annoyance and disgust. Being taken care of like a wriggler, being responsible for a planet full of easily influenced and hasty trolls. Taking care of her lusus indefinitely, and having to personally feed her each night. Making a quick and not very discreet exit from her original planet had been a great decision. She’s stood by it since it happened, all those sweeps ago in an universe that never quite fit to her tastes. Being born there had felt like a cruel joke once she knew what she had missed out on.

So when she had spawned here some number of sweeps ago, she had been horrified. Devastated. They won and she, as always, got absolutely shafted by the universe. That is... until she took a good look around and evaluated her situation. Beforus had been a little pond, full of toothless guppies. And she had been a shark, unable to even turn around in the limited space. But Alternia? Alternia was a vast sea, with plenty of prey to sink her teeth into and depths to claim as her own. It was as if this gift universe was molded for her, a refined combination of two planets and the two lives she had lived through. The best part was that she had gotten to float over the hard parts, the initial rise to power and the conquering and culling of her personified roadblocks. The endless cycle of teaching her throneworld to submit.

There’s no shame in admitting she’s fully enjoyed the spoils of her new life, entirely content with trading a few sweeps for her position. Hell, she was a tyrian. There were plenty of sweeps to spare, she would do it again.

Which led to this, a three night streak of kicking up her feet in her own block on the flagship. The Battleship Condescention.

Okay, fine, maybe she should have been doing something more important than catching up on dramatic cinema when there was a rebellion to stomp out with her boot. But things were fine. They were starting to close in on the short, mouthy, ship thief. Her biggest potential problem was nice and cozy some number of floors below her, tucked into his ports and wires like a wriggler to coon. And no one else was stepping up to oppose her. Even the most powerful and feared leaders of societies had to take a break, let the tide ease them out.

Of course, all good things come to an end. This time, it’s the portable communications device implanted into her tiaratop. Already missing her makeshift getaway, she flicked a claw against the gold and her features were illuminated by the live footage of one of her on hand advisors. She scowled at him, lip jutted out and pierced brows raised to put emphasis on her annoyance. “We got a, y’know, a problem.” He grunted, the last word coming out like pr-ah-bl-im. “Sum’thin’ funny, ‘kay. Minor. We’re handling it, swear it ma’am. Got someone on the f’rewalls, set that right. But...”

When the purple hued troll went on to explain, she was furious. Someone had managed to nudge at their security systems and give them a test and it took them a few nights to tell her? Her pan whirled to the worst and most paranoid conclusion. Someone from their session, probably that infuriating time wench or the pirate enthusiast, maybe a turnaround from her own Makara if he’d been fully awakened in their new planet.

She stormed about to get ready, pan immediately set to force her commandeered pissblood battery to help her track down and eliminate the source. If her goons couldn’t get the job done, he was going to do it for them.

“Soon as I grill this guppy, you’re gettin’ sautéed. Fried.” Meenah, better known as the Condesce, set her focus entirely on a stomping beeline for the exit and her threatening tangent. “Pike it or not, best get ya’ affairs in order. Boat t’ sea what the pointy end a’ my golden prod ‘eels like embedded in ya’ b’ass. No shrimp-athy for the in-conch-petent, set a bet’a example for the school.”

The door to her block opened with quiet ‘swish!’ as she took her first step out. And then another. Somewhere, a number of clicks below stationed near the central engines, a troll was probably filled with justifiable anger and excitement. With the Empress there was nothing but the light, sharp sound of her heeled boots in the metal corridor paired with the rough undertone to her flurry of words. The advisor on the other end of her video chat cowered, sputtering excuses as she glared down her defined cartilage nub at him. “And if you e’fin conch-sea-der tryin’ to catch a wave trout’a here, I ain’t mako-in it snappy.” She continued her tirade, satisfied by the way the other troll’s eyes went wide and his jaw slid open. “Yeah, that’s moray p’ike it. Best get ya-shelf practicin’ on a look a’ ray-morse.”

“Actually,” he started, gaze averted to the light over the airlock behind her. It blinked red once, yellow twice, and began to shift to green. “I think -“

“Clam it, small fry!” She stopped her determined march to point a claw at him, as if he were really a few feet ahead of her. “Can’t bay-lieve ya’ got the swimmers to gab at me, blowin’ bubbles slap full a’ bullshark.”

Just behind her, the light held steady at green. The advisor stumbled in his warning, horrified and relieved and stalled by his shock as her hair whipped away from her face and her words trailed off. There’s a second where the familiar sound of the airlock opening seemed to halt time. Meenah looked over her shoulder, and then to the projected feed of the lower blooded troll. For the first time in sweeps, she barked a laugh. And then? “Son of a’ eldritch pailin’ bitch.” She bared her impressive chompers, fins flared backwards in her surprise, disbelief, and pure offense that someone has made an attempt on her life. The tyrian scrambled to dig her claws into the metal wall beside her, a cringe worthy noise produced when they drag through the reinforced metal. “You gotta be krillin’ -“

“Maybe if -“

In what might be the most anticlimactic turntables of a story ever, the airlock smoothly opens the rest of the way. Sweeps in the past, there is a time traveling maroon blooded, grudge obsessed troll glancing through the ages and chortling at a joke no one will understand much less believe. The seadweller’s yellow painted claws dig and clip away in a desperate swing at survival. The hatches to the other blocks through the stem are sealed shut, and whatever artificial air was being released dissipated the minute the immediate area was exposed to space. Meenah had a moment, maybe two, to reflect on the mistakes that led her here. Putting an airlock directly outside the door to her block, entirely for the purpose of disposing of any unwanted visitors. Not once considering that someone might turn this around on her, or capitalize on her desire for the dramatic. Leaving her block using her balancing prongs at all, when a transportalizer would have been safer and faster - but would ultimately have lacked in the build-up of intensity and hostility that a chance to strut and lament and publicly humiliate and shortly thereafter kill her most recent workplace pest. If she had more time, she might have thought of a few more excuses to shift the blame a bit.

Including, but not limited to: This Must Entirely Be Megido’s Fault And Here Is Why, the three part series of essays assembled by Meenah Peixes. Or the potential ways Aranea could have somehow subverted death and the fate of their session altogether to somehow ruin the one fun thing she has EVER had the chance to do, seriously, what a Jealous Jude. Or maybe this is the fault of the younger Vantas, who mysteriously fell into her lap around a sweep ago and... well, he was disappointing as a whole until he managed to actually do a backflip off of the handle and body his way out of holding.The diversion of resources from the facility had been an oversight, and the cause of it was promptly replaced and reassigned to dinner duty. A more appealing way to refer to the main course.

Any of those things could have led to this, but none of them did. All the time in the world, and she likely never would have thought her laziness would play a part in her downfall.

It did, though. The metal peeled away from the support column, and the lurching movement broke her grip. It was inevitable. Meenah tried to yelp out a curse, perhaps one last bit of defamation for her last words, but nothing actually came from her throat. Her lips twisted and her expression caught somewhere between anger and fear. The last thought to coherently hit her ends with ‘- and this bucket of chum is the last thing I get my peepers on, really?’ as she wS forcibly removed from the flagship and sent careening into space.

A few blocks and a couple lifts away, the flabbergasted advisor had already dispatched armed forces. Not that it mattered, he decided. The connection to the tiratop flickers more and more as she departs, but the image of his frozen taskmaster tells him there’s no rescuing from that.

Her skin was flaking with ice, fins back and shining tyrian as they stretched, thin eyes obscured by the ice on her lashes, teeth exposed from where she tried to get the last word. The sight of her being quickly and surprisingly easily dispatched hadn’t left him hopeful for saving her, and the last glimpses of her expression deterred him from even attempting to recover her corpse.

The Empress was dead.

[little----bit-of-light]

Little Miss Overachiever

ReaderxConnor

"This term we'll be focusing on in class debates and as most of you know we have the school's debating captain is in this class! As I felt it unfair for her to compete they'll be doing the adjudication and holding crash course debate classes. For those of you who need a good grade this semester, I suggest you all attend the class to give yourself the best chance you can"

Connor didn't know why he was in politics class. What Connor did know is that you were captain of the debate team, ambassador for MUN, secretary of student council and ridiculously cute. He watched a blush creep over your cheeks as the politics teacher waxed lyrical about you.

Connor went to the after school debate class. He was convinced he had the wrong classroom with it being completely empty, until he saw you shoot up from your place on the floor, where it looked like you had made a makeshift bed out of a jacket for a blanket and school bag for pillow.

"Hi sorry, sorry, I didnt except anyone to show up and I was up late last night putting together the prep for the class and finishing off this bitch of an English essay" you blurted out

"If this is your way of asking me to leave, you dont have to lie to me, I'm sure you just put on this class for one of the guys in class who's obsessed with you to come and worship-" Connor began letting every awful thought he knew he would regret saying out loud later come out.

"You really need this class if thats the best argument you can put together on the spot"

Connor was shocked, no one had ever responded so calming to one of his unfiltered attacks.

"I- i"

"And you cant handle rebuttal either great, we better get started on basic mechanics then"

So Connor sat down and for once in his life he paid attention in class.

You began outlining the very basics of debating, something your guy's teacher had done in class but you had just assumed he slept through. You then went through the basic details, how to write and prep and structure a debate. You got out your debate templates and Connor smirked at the notes you had written to your debating partner at the back such as

"Blah, point we already stated, blah blah blah"

You two didnt realise the hour's class was done until you got a text from your mom asking why you werent home yet. You called her back and Connor watched the brilliant person he had just seen light up at the talk of the formality of parliamentary debates, dim down as they spoke to their mother, reassuring her everything was fine.

"Sorry, she worries I'm pushing myself too hard and that I'm not at home enough and sorry I shouldn't be telling this to you, none of that is your issue" You apologise

"It's fine, do you want a ride so you can get home a little faster?" Connor wanted these debate classes to keep happening get a chance for someone in the school to see him.

You agreed and packed up your stuff. What you expected to see when you walked out to the student parking lot was some bust up second hand car but Connor lead you over to a motorcycle, gleaming and well taken care of. After much coercion and promises you would be safe you got on.

"Ya know your gonna have to wrap your arms around me unless you got some super human strength in those thighs" Connor said

"I thought that was just some rom-com troupe they used for when the bad boy takes the girl next door on some wild ride"

"Sadly not, so safety first and all that shit"

And with you wrapping your arms around Connor's torso you guys were off. The ride there was amazing, you felt all your worries from the day drift away, a weight taken off your shoulders.

When you guys pulled up to your house you looked to see your mom giving a disapproving stare from a window. You took off the helmet, handed it to Connor and headed in, ready to face your mother.

The next day in school Connor saw you in the hallway. He ran up and tapped you on the shoulder. He didnt realise you had earbuds in and you startled, not use to having people talk to you in the morning. Connor apologised, something rare for him and he walked you to your first class. It became routine for you guys. You guys talked about your upcoming debates, the books you guys were reading right now (Connor liked fiction, you liked non-fiction, it caused some friction).

You having lunch together, usually sneaking into an unused classroom. Most lunches you would get Connor to quiz you for upcoming tests or would use him as your personal essay editor. Connor would vent to you about stuff happening with him, about his parents, with his sister, the stuff going on inside his head. One day when you could see he was past the point of calming down you reached over the table and grabbed his hand. He went stiff and you immediately pulled back.

"I'm sorry that was stupid of me to do that, I should have asked or just not done it because it was like I was trying to shut you up which I wasn't, but i fucked up obviously so I'm gonna go" with that you left the classroom

Connor knew you were under a mass amount of stress this week, you had a model united nations conference over the weekend. Connor has watched you prep your resolution over the past week and even helped with research a little bit. He got an idea. He got on his bike and picked up flowers on the way to the school you were at. Granted cheap gas station ones. He waited outside the main entrance. He opened the text that had a video of you walking up to receive your award. He waited for you to walk out as people began to leave. Then he caught sight of you, being surrounded by other well dressed teens hugging and surrounding you. He noticed one guy in particular, maybe wasn't as tall as Connor but well built, with his face being traditionally handsome, who you kept glancing over to smiling in the middle of the giddy conversation taking place. But then all the worried about the guy in the suit slipped away as soon as you two locked eyes. You ran towards him and wrapped you arms around him, Connor pulled you tight to him.

"I did the thing" you said when you finally pulled back from the hug

"I got you these assuming you would do the thing" Connor presented you with the flowers.

"No one's ever gotten me flowers before" you let slip out of your mouth.

"I was going to say pretty flowers for a pretty girls but i didnt want to undermine your intellectual prowess" Connor said with a smirk on his face that let you knew he had thought of that a while ago

"You sure know how to make a girl swoon" You responded

You asked Connor if he wanted to come bowling with you and your MUN friends, a long standing tradition. He politely declined by making a joke about a different type of bowl waiting for him at home. You hugged him one last time and off he went. When he got home he saw a picture of you at the bowling alley, with the guy he saw, arm draped over you, both of you giving the camera a goofy look. You looked so relaxed, unlike how Connor had ever seen you, like that girl who carried the weight of the world on her shoulders had disappeared.

At lunch on Monday, you and Connor were both quietly working away. He was working on an essay and you were working on some math homework you had left till the last minute.

"How was bowling?" Connor asked breaking the silence

"Was good, you would think we would all be amazing at it at this point but the 6 year old birthday party bet us and we were using the guardrails and they weren't"

Connor smirked but his stomach still turned at the thought of you with the guy in the picture.

"Do you guys have teams based on countries?"

"We mix it up sometimes we do them by bloc, which is the team of countries we create, sometimes we do it by geographic- no you we're not that big of losers, we just bowl. Whats up with you, you never ask questions about the social parts of this stuff" you questioned

"Cause I'm jealous alright cause I thought we had a moment there when I brought you the flowers, and you told me I made you swoon or whatever and then I see this picture of you with this guy who's way more attractive then me. He was hanging off you-" Connor was standing up, pacing now.

"John? You were jealous of John" you stood up now too blocking his path of pacing

"What a dumb fuckin name is John"

"Con listen" a sudden softness in your voice brought Connor back to reality from the space in his head he had gotten i to

"You never call me Con" he matches the softness in your voice as you wrapped your arms around his neck

"I like you idiot" and with that Connor closed the gap in between you two, bringing his lips to yours and wrapping his arms around your waist like you did on that first day of debating class.

[zillanewt]

Eddie’s abusive relationship headcanons pt. 2

pt. 1

A/N: ayyeee i didn’t expect this to be popular at all when i posted the first part, but i guess the angst was just too good. i wrote a second part bc i felt like my last part had it’s ending rushed, so here you go

warnings: stalking, abusive relationships, derogatory terms (like whore), mild violence (not towards the losers club tho) 

((i swear to god this has a happy ending and eddie’s ex gets what he deserves))

+ the losers would be naive to think chad would just fuck off and not do anything after the break up + he was blatantly obsessed with eddie + about a week after the breakup, eddie starts noticing chad's car around places like the aladdin and derry high. + instead of being quiet about it this time, he lets bev and bill know abt it + and they bluntly tell him they dont think he should be alone in public anymore + so the losers, being as protective as they are, literally never let eddie out of their sight + they only leave him alone when he's at home, bc they know Mrs. K would sooner drink her own piss than let a strange 26 year old man into her teenage son's room + (the only reason id ever like sonia) + richie will pick him up in his truck for school in the morning, then drop him off in the afternoons, instead of letting eddie walk to school + someone will always walk with eddie if richie cant drive for some reason + surprisingly, bev is the most protective of the losers (though richie is a close second) + in all honesty, she's just tired of creepy assholes and she has zero patience for any of them + the first time one of them decks chad in the face, its beverly. + bev, richie, and eddie were in the empty school parking lot. bev and richie were smoking a cigarette and leaning against the front of richies truck + when they see chads, car pull up, which was surprising bc this is the first time he's gotten close while the losers were around + eddie wanted to throw up the minute he got out of the car, bc hes been losing his mind from being stalked for weeks and suddenly old memories were coming back + richie looked fucking ready to fight, but bev firmly held him back with a hand on his shoulder + bev: "dont you have a daycare to go harass, you pedo." + chad: "i just want to talk to eddie" + richie: "well, he doesn't want to talk to you, so beat it!" + the asshole ignores them and grabs for eddies wrist, which bev immediately responds to by punching him in the face + eddie never loved his friend more than when he saw her bust open the lip of his abusive ex + he ran away with his tail between his legs and would literally never get near eddie when bev was around anymore + the second time he gets punched, it's by richie + by this point, eddie and richie were dancing around the whole dating thing bc eddie wasnt exactly ready to get into a relationship + but they were definitely something + richie had to constantly reassure him that he'd never hurt him that way + they werent dating, but richie still asked eddie to prom so they could try to do the whole normal teenage thing, right??? + eddie had never had such a good time with richie and the losers, but guess who  has to ruin it??? +ill give u a hint. his name rhymes with bad. + the distinct difference between tonight and every other night is that chad isnt actually stalking eddie that night + after prom ended, the losers decided to move the party to the nearest Waffle House, bc are u an American teenager if u dont go to Waffle House on prom night??? + and chad just happened to be there????????

+ as soon as the losers saw him in there, laughing with his friends and drinking his coffee, they offered eddie the chance to immediately bounce. there were plenty of all-night diners in Derry.

+ but eddie refused. he didnt want to be scared of chad, and he didnt want him to ruin their night

+ as soon as they walked in, chad’s eyes flew to the losers (especially wary of bev) and then to eddie

+ protectively, richie slung an arm around eddie as they walked to the big booth, glaring at chad from the corner of his eye

+ when they sat down, chad began speaking just loud enough for their table to overhear

+ ”oh you know teenagers are so easy, man. you just gotta tell ‘em you love ‘em and they’ll be on their knees in an instant.”

+ as ben was trying to keep richie from losing his mind, stan ordering when he was just like “oh yeah, and can you spit in that guy’s eggs?” while pointing towards chad’s table

+ honestly all the losers were mad, but they hoped it would just blow over and they wouldnt have to start a fight at waffle house at one in the morning

+ but chad, being a major asshole, was not going to let this go that easily

+ ”the problem is they start getting mouthy and trying to call the shots. at that point, you gotta make sure they know theyre a dumb kid and youre in charge.”

+ literally, mike had a vice grip on richie’s shoulders, and even though mike played football, he had a hard time holding the other back

+ ”but in the end, theyre all the same dumb twink with daddy or mommy issues.”

+ he was literally looking at eddie as he said it and eddie wanted to cry and scream at the same time

+ richie had had e-fucking-nough and climbed out of the booth to go stand in front of chad’s table

+ chad: “can i help you, tozier?”

+ and richie is like “yeah, you can dickwad. do the world a big favor and just drop dead already.”

+ chad: “well unless youre gonna kill me yourself, i suggest you go sit back down with your shitty whore boyfriend.”

+ at that point, richie literally fucking snaps??? because eddie’s never done anything to deserve any of this treatment and he knew this guy was bad news the first time they met, so he does what he’s always wanted to do

+ he literally fucking decks the guy in face and breaks his nose

+ bev is cheering him on, while the rest of the losers are absolutely mortified at the attention theyre receiving from everyone else in the restaurant right then

+ ok so richie is never aggressive, because he’s generally a laid back kind of guy but this has all built to a boiling point and he’s been waiting to do this for so long

+ richie: “i wouldnt tempt me, asshole. i suggest you leave eddie alone and go play your twisted mind games with someone your own age, or i might break more than your nose.”

+ they totally get banned from that waffle house, but its so worth it when eddie has the widest smile as they ditch the place

+ eddie: “i cant believe you did that for me! that was so fucking cool!”

+ richie: “cool’s my middle name, eddie spaghetti”

+ eddie is literally so exhilarated by it, he grabs richie by the face and kisses him like richie’s wanted him to since they were like 15

+ richie feels some tears in his eyes as he whispers “i’m never gonna let you get hurt like that again.”

+ that’s it. that’s the end. thanks for reading!

[ihavea-lottosay-blog]

I have a lot to say. Things i need to get off my chest, just talk about, and somethings that are just me being critical of other people. This blog is going to have a lot of spelling, grammar, and life mistakes so bare with me if you read it and dont expect me to post everyday. I’m literally talking to this thing like its a person and no one follows it so thats a good start! Oh well, crazy is also included. Heres the shit ill start off with...

I am 20 years old turning 21 soon (woo!) a college art student and  a photographer. Basic shit, almost looks like a tinder bio i know. I guess the first big life event that comes to mind with me is dating the wrong guy. I know i couldnt be more boring or cliche but its really whats got me fucked up and this wont be the only story you hear about him. I spent 2 years with this kid in high school and half my freshman year in college. He is the exact manipulative, phsycho, cheating boyfriend every main character has. His name is Manny. Now thankfully an ex but there was a time i thought forever was possible; not sure why though, he wasn’t attractive or smart, and although he was kind and funny sometimes he quickly killed it with something he did wrong. Example: He was my best friend for years and it took me 3 weeks into us dating to figure out i was in love with him, that same night his ex told me he cheated on me with her. case. in point. Now he did have those shining heroic moments that made me feel like he was just misunderstood. Onetime our friend screwed us out of a place to sleep at a music festival and my sister and i were trapped outside a nearby church in the rain in the middle of nowhere with both our phones dying. He insisted he would come pick us up and bring us home. But overall he’s a down right douche that fucked up my ways of thinking. Its been 2 years since we’ve been broken up (i broke up with him cause i found out he had an entire relationship with his ex and me at the same time, yeah she knew about it and didnt care,  all while still banging sluts behind both of our backs) and he stalked me for a year and a half of the break up. He harassed me online mostly but a couple months ago he showed up drunk to my apartment at school which ive never given him the address to (he got it from a friend that knows my scummy roommate) and yelled at me how much he loves me and all this other shit that i honestly laughed at. I now have a restraining order against him so i doubt any other stories i tell about him are going to be recent unless i heard something from someone else but all the past stories i will probably tell have to do with my current feelings. 

In this case I can honestly say Manny fucked up the idea of love for me. He was my first real boyfriend, first love, and first time. I dont know if its possible to have a love like your first again but i hope i dont and do all at the same time. I hope i can love someone as deeply as i loved him but i hope i dont loose myself or my self respect for love. i hope i find at least some kind of love out there again. ive dated a little before him and had one boyfriend after that i honestly dated out of loneliness and because he was the exact opposite of manny. But i’ve never even liked any of my boyfriends that much they were just there. I pretty much became a whore after him. I fucked 17 guys in 2 years of being single. This one guy this summer though made me start to think that its possible to fall in love again. Doug and i went to our friends lake house together. I guess the first night i got so drunk i forgot but i was told we were making out in front of everyone. we grew closer that trip and the second time we went north to the lake house its almost like we were in a mini relationship up there. We were always together, cuddling on the couch or sitting next to each other, and sneaking off to make out. We became the butt of the joke for the trip cause our friends teased us about dating. After we came home things were so different. I was traveling a lot so seeing each other was impossible but we always snuck the word date into conversation. But i guess his friends weirded him out about our 5 year age difference and he heard rumors about me that werent true and felt weird about getting attached cause i’d be heading back to school soon (i live 2 hours away). But finally we found a day to play frisbee golf together (he plays a lot and i never had so he wanted to take me) and he was distant and weird so i got the hint about being just friends.  But then after that he kept snapping me and texting me first and then we were gonna hang out another day and he pretty much treated me like a booty call so newly entitled me decided to rip him apart for treating me like that. I regret some of it cause i was drunk and i just wanted him to like me but  fucked it up for good after that. 

Pretty much i dont know if ill find someone soon, or close, its not that i wont find someone because i can (not to sound conceded) i think im attractive and i could lower my standards a bunch to just be with someone but i’ve done that in every relationship ive had. I’ve always dated down in appearance, personality, education, etc. I dont want to anymore. I want to find someone im at level with and obsessed with and everything i deserve after the mountains of crap ive shoveled through. I’m lonely but i dont want just anyone anymore.

I told you i have a lot to say.