#two/multi-parter imagines

[astrophileous]

A Well-Kept Secret

Pairing: Spencer Reid x Female Reader

Synopsis: While working on a case in D.C., Spencer didn't expect to hear a familiar name being mentioned as the sole surviving witness. Or, in which the team discovers Spencer's well-kept secret.

Warning(s): established secret relationship, mentions and/or depictions of death/physical violence/gun violence/injury/attack, signs of trauma, survivor's guilt, curse words, hurt/comfort, nudity but it's not sexual, allusions to sexy times, mentions/implied alcohol consumption

Word Count: 5900-ish

Author's Note: hiya! I decided to write this lil piece after seeing the fic challenge posted by @imagining-in-the-margins abt the family/found family trope. I had a lotta fun writing this one and I think it's got potential to be something more. So pls comment or message me if you wanna see me exploring with this idea (either turning it into a series of connected one-shots or multi-parters). Don't forget to like/comment/reblog and give me a follow :) I hope you enjoy! 💞

Criminal Minds Masterlist

When Hotch had notified the team to haul their asses up and drove all the way to D.C., Spencer never expected that it would also entail him having to suffer through a mini heart attack.

The series of attacks around D.C. had been dominating the 6 PM news segments in the entire country. What was initially perceived as a suspected sequence of robberies gone wrong--since the first two targets to have been hit were a bank and a prestigious auction house--soon turned into a nationwide panic as people realized that there was a bigger game at play.

After the third attack was found to have occurred in the headquarters of one of the top, up-and-coming renewable energy startups in the states, the D.C. police finally started to entertain the idea that perhaps they hadn't been dealing with their usual petty robbers at all.

And naturally, that was when the BAU had been called in.

As soon as the team entered the Metropolitan PD bullpen, they were struck with the smell of panic and the sight of chaos.

"Agent Hotchner?" A middle-aged man in a gray shirt and blue tie appeared in front of them. "My name is Detective Mills, we spoke on the phone."

"Of course, Detective." Hotch shook the other man's hand. "This is my team. Agent Prentiss, Jareau, and Dr. Reid. I have two others already at the latest crime scene. What can you tell us so far?"

"As you can see--" Detective Mills gestured towards the frenzied scene behind him, "--the entire D.C. area is going haywire after news broke out about yesterday's attack. The public is demanding the city to be put on lockdown, and I'm getting pressure from above as well. We received information that nearly half the city has called in sick today."

"A classic response to mass paranoia," Spencer noted.

"Well, paranoia or not, I just want to start getting some answers." Detective Mills began to lead the team further into the bullpen. "I have every pair of hands I could spare in this. If they aren't out there chasing leads, they're here interviewing the victims, friends, and families."

"Any luck so far?" Emily asked.

"Nothing more than what you've probably seen in the files."

Detective Mills pushed open the door to an office in the corner, away from the havoc in the center of the station.

"Lieutenant Jeffreys retired a couple of weeks ago. The lucky bastard." Detective Mills scoffed jokingly. "It's the most decent space I can spare at the moment. Think you'll be fine in here?"

"It's more than enough, Detective. Thank you," Hotch replied.

"What about the witnesses from yesterday's attack? Have you had the chance to interview them?" JJ asked as the rest of the team started setting up.

"Some of my men are with them right now. But I doubt they'll have anything useful. Just like the other two cases, the attack happened while most of the office was out. The rest left behind were DOA at the latest scene."

"They're rapidly devolving," Spencer pondered out loud as he skimmed over the case files. "They went from killing a non-compliant security guard during the first attack to executing almost every witness in the last one."

JJ raised an eyebrow. "Almost?"

"It says here there is one survivor." Spencer showed the word he had underlined in the case overview to JJ.

"Yes, there is," Detective Mills confirmed. "I had one of my men talk to her. There's not much she could give us. Thing is, she wasn't even supposed to be there."

"What do you mean?" Emily asked.

"She didn't work in that office. She was a consultant who just happened to be visiting. Poor girl's pretty shaken up. She hid in a supply closet the entire time. She was the one who found the bodies and called 911."

"So, the perpetrators never checked the rooms while they were holding the victims hostage?" Hotch questioned.

"Not according to her statement, no. See, I thought it weird myself. Do you have any idea why?"

"Not sure." Hotch hummed, deep in thought. "Perhaps our UnSubs didn't think to check because they didn't know someone was in there. Detective, you said all of the victims were the only employees of the company who didn't attend the event downtown, correct?"

"Yeah, they were the only ones who weren't listed as attendees. Why? Do you think those people were specifically targeted?"

"Unfortunately, we can't rule out anything yet this early in the investigation," Hotch said. "We need to talk to the witnesses to know more. JJ?"

"On it." JJ nodded. "What can you tell us about yesterday's sole survivor, Detective?"

"Not much. I didn't interview her personally, one of my men did. She works at a consulting engineering firm in town," Detective Mills replied. "I believe her name is... what is it called?"

When Detective Mills mentioned the name, Spencer's heart instantly crashed inside of its cage.

"What?" His hand had stopped scribbling on the board. In a matter of miliseconds, Spencer had crossed the room towards the doorway where Detective Mills was standing. "What did you say her name was?"

Dumbfounded, the detective stared at a dread-stricken Spencer before spelling out the name once more.

"Why? What's wrong?" Detective Mills asked in confusion.

JJ touched Spencer's shoulder. "Hey, you okay?"

But Spencer, either too alarmed or merely choosing not to acknowledge both questions, asked instead, "Where is she? I need to see her."

"In the waiting room by the pantry--"

Spencer didn't even wait for Detective Mills to form his complete thought before dashing out. JJ exchanged a glance with Emily following Spencer's sudden exit, perplexed by his odd turn of behavior.

"I'll go get him," JJ announced before leaving the room, chasing after a flurry of wavy hair and a wool-knitted purple vest sprinting across the bullpen.

The roaring commotion inside the station was almost loud enough to rival the intensity of your racing thoughts.

Almost.

At this point, you didn't think there was anything you could do anymore. The vivid images from yesterday's attack were playing continuously in your head. There was nothing you could do to stop them.

Rubbing your eyes from exhaustion, you mourned the loss of sleep that you failed to get the previous night. As if the waking nightmares weren't torment enough, the images had somehow translated even more cruelly into your subconscious. You could barely close your eyes for three seconds without feeling like you had been brought back to that place.

Cold, cramped, and alone. Fearing for your life in the tiny supply closet that smelled more like death than bleach.

At the sound of the door opening, you quickly turned around in your seat to hide your face away from prying eyes. The last thing you needed at that moment was having a complete stranger seeing you fall apart in the middle of a police station.

But when the voice came carrying the sound of your name, it wasn't the voice of a complete stranger you had heard. It was a voice you knew more than you probably knew your own. A voice you loved and a voice you had longed to hear for the past gruesome twenty-four hours.

"Spencer?" You turned back towards the door, seeing the face you adored most in the whole world staring back at you.

"Sweetheart."

At the speed of a lightning, Spencer dropped to his knees in front of you and gathered your broken little pieces into his arms.

Spencer's touch was everywhere. Your hair, your neck, your shoulders. As if he was checking whether you were real. That you were actually there inside his arms, and you were not a simple imagination that his mind had conjured up.

Surrounded by the safety of his embrace, you could feel the shattered pieces of yourself beginning to mend once more.

"Spencer," you uttered his name again as you pulled away, still in disbelief that he was physically there with you.

"I'm here," he promised you as he cupped your face gently.

"Spencer, what are you... How..."

"My team is working your case. We arrived half an hour ago," he explained simply. "Sunshine, why didn't you tell me? I thought you were still in Alaska?"

You had previously apprised Spencer that you would be hard to reach during your trip since you would be spending most of your time at the power plant site where cellphone receptions were scarce. So when an entire day went by without him ever hearing from you, Spencer didn't have any reason to be worried.

Never in a million years would he have ever predicted that you'd be caught in the middle of a hostage situation.

That thought alone caused Spencer to squeeze your hand a little tighter than usual.

"I'm sorry, Spence," you said sincerely. "My trip ended earlier than planned. I arrived back yesterday morning. I actually wanted to surprise you last night. After yesterday's... incident, I wanted to call you, but my phone was shot--"

"Wait, what? You were shot?"

"No! No, baby. Not me. Just my phone," you assured him. "But that's why I couldn't call. I did attempt you once using this station's phone, but it went straight to voicemail."

At the new piece of information, the colors immediately drained from Spencer's face.

"That was you? Fuck. I didn't--I didn't know. I rejected the call because I didn't know it was you."

"Hey." You stopped his guilty rambling with a hand to his cheek. "It's okay. I'm okay. I'm just glad you're here."

And then, because Spencer needed to make sure that you really were okay, he pulled you back into his arms and held you even tighter this time.

"Uh, Spence?"

The sound in the doorway snapped you both out of your mutual reverie. You looked up to see a blonde woman there, staring in an equal mixture of shock and confusion at the sight in front of her.

Spencer begrudgingly untangled himself from your arms before getting up to approach her.

"JJ, do you mind if I do the cognitive for this one?" Spencer asked.

The woman--JJ-- shifted her eyes a few times between you and Spencer. "Um, of course. I'll just go and inform Hotch. Tell us if you need anything."

After JJ's departure, Spencer closed the door again to award you both a much needed privacy.

He grabbed a wooden chair from the corner and dragged it before sitting down right in front of you.

"I need to start the interview now, sweetheart. Think you're up for it?"

Your whole body went rigid for a matter of seconds before you forced it to restart again. It was gone as soon as it came, but Spencer noticed it just the same.

"Look at me," Spencer ordered softly, using his delicate finger to nudge your face up until he was looking straight into your eyes. "I know it's scary. I don't want you to have to relive yesterday either, but it will help us catch whoever did this."

"I've told the police everything I knew yesterday. I was hiding the entire time." Like a coward. "I didn't see anything. I don't have anything else that could help you."

"I know that, sunshine. But as I've told you before, our method is slightly different. We won't be just focusing on what you saw, but also what you smelled, or maybe even heard." Spencer took your hands then, squeezing affectionately. "I'll be here with you the entire time."

The nod you gave him was hesitant, but it was a start nonetheless. You listened intently to Spencer's words and closed your eyes just as he had instructed.

"We'll start at the beginning," you heard him say. "Why don't you tell me why you went there yesterday?"

"I, uh, received a call from my friend, Nick, after my plane landed. We had been communicating back and forth since his company seeked my consultation for one of their upcoming projects," you began. "I wasn't even supposed to work because I had requested the day off. But Nick said it didn't have to be a formal meeting, so I agreed to meet him."

"Tell me what you remember after arriving at the office."

Your mind traveled back to that specific time one day prior. You remembered walking into the place and seeing its unusual state of vacancy even though there was still a good half an hour left before lunchtime.

"I just assumed everyone had gone to lunch earlier and shrugged it off," you recalled.

Spencer nodded his head. "Did anything else strike you as out of the ordinary?"

"No? I don't... I don't know. It was only my second time being there, I'm not sure what was normal and what wasn't."

"Okay. That's okay. You're doing good so far, sweetheart," Spencer quickly interjected, trying to get you to calm down before your distress could turn into a full-blown panic. "Now, what did you do next?"

"I followed Nick into his office."

Nick was keeping his promise true. It hadn't felt like a formal meeting, just two old college buddies reminiscing about the past and discussing possibilities of the future that, of course, included the company's upcoming project which you would be working on with him.

"I excused myself to the bathroom at some point," you added. "When I first heard the commotion, I thought nothing of it. It's like the idea that a group full of armed men had taken over the building didn't even cross my mind. I mean, why would it? I was on my way back to Nick's office when I saw them."

You recalled turning a corner after exiting the bathroom only to see those figures carrying machine guns and shouting at everyone to get on their knees or put their hands above their heads. You remembered sprinting the way you had come from and opening the first door you could reach that just happened to be the supply closet.

"Let's go back to the moment you saw them," Spencer urged gently. "How many people were there? Do you remember any conspicuous detail? Maybe one of them had tattoos or spoke with an accent. Anything that distinguished them."

Taking a deep breath, you tried replaying those crucial seconds slowly in your head.

"There were four of them. I couldn't see much. They were all wearing identical black clothes."

Suddenly, an unexpected piece of memory rushed to the front of your mind. You opened your eyes in shock, meeting Spencer's curious gaze that had been kept intently on you the entire time.

"I think at least one of them is a woman," you told him.

Spencer's eyebrows rose in surprise. "Are you sure?"

"One of the guys said something about... fucking this place up. And then she laughed. I heard her. It was definitely a female laugh."

"Good. That's good."

"Yeah? Do you think it'll help?"

Spencer nodded assuredly, bringing his hand to leave calming strokes on your head. "I know it will. You've done a great job, sweetheart. I'm proud of you."

The praise Spencer gave eased the tension in your shoulders. As if having been granted fresh air after decades of confinement, you were finally able to let yourself breathe again.

Spencer continued his loving strokes on your head. Little by little, the weight of his touch melted the resolve you had built into a pathetic puddle on the floor. Without its mental shield protecting you, your tears sped forward, gathering in your eyes until they spilled on the vast path down your cheeks.

"Hey, hey." Spencer's voice was laden with panic after seeing you start to cry. "Sunshine, what is it? What's wrong? Talk to me."

"I-I just... God." You struggled to get the words out in between sobs. "I'm a coward, Spencer."

"What?"

"All of those people... They died because I was a fucking coward."

Your admission tore into the air before stabbing Spencer right through his chest.

"Sweetheart, you know that's not true."

"But it is!" you cried out, pulling away from Spencer's grounding hold around your shaking body in favor of your own arms. "I was a coward. I ran and hid because I was too scared to die. Too scared to fight. If I had just tried a little harder, I could've called for help. That way, maybe all of those people wouldn't... And Nick wouldn't..."

A haunting image flashed behind your eyes. The image of Nick's limp and lifeless body on the floor, among those of the others. You remembered crying next to him, punching his chest, body, and arm despite having seen the gunshot wound on his forehead. It took you another five minutes before you eventually managed to gather yourself together, found a phone, and dialed 911.

Not that it made any difference. They were all already dead.

Spencer could hear his heart breaking at the sight of you curling into yourself, recoiling from his touch because you somehow believed you didn't deserve his affection at that moment. If Spencer could just transfer all of your pain towards him, he would. Seeing you beat yourself up that way over something that happened and was done to you was the worst kind of torture he ever had to endure in life.

And Spencer had been through more kinds of torture than the general population in the world.

Deciding that he had seen enough of your self-deprecating torment, he reclaimed your hands inside of his palms and urged you to look at him.

"Are you hearing yourself right now?" Spencer asked incredulously. "How can you even think that way? Sweetheart, what happened to those people, to Nick, it is not your fault."

"B-but, if I hadn't run away--"

"Then you would've died, too," he cut you off. "Sunshine, there were four of them with machine guns. No one stood a single chance against them. Those people were there to kill. There was nothing you could've done."

It was a hard pill to swallow, but Spencer needed you to hear it.

He needed you to know the truth no matter how unacceptable it was.

"If you hadn't hid from them, we would've found seven bodies there instead of six. And I--" Spencer took a shuddering breath, "--I would've lost you."

Your shoulders deflated at his revelation. "Spence--"

"So please--" he searched your eyes then, using his thumb to sweep away the remaining tears under your eyes, "--stop holding yourself accountable. I promise I will do everything I can to find those people and make them pay for what they did."

Spencer's vow triggered a new wave of tears that compelled you to sink into his awaiting arms. He let you stay there until you had cried your tears dry. It was something he also secretly needed for himself after suffering through the short-lived horror over the mention of your name in relation to the heinous case. He just needed to make sure that you were okay.

A few minutes passed by with you in his arms. Eventually, Spencer had to tear himself away to finish his job. He asked you to wait as he wrapped up the transcript of your cognitive interview, along with his professional report over it.

"I need to run somewhere real quick. I promise to be back in a couple of hours," he notified JJ as he handed her the interview report. "Tell Hotch for me? Thanks."

Without waiting for his friend's reply, Spencer rushed back to the waiting room before leading you out to take you home.

Back at your apartment, Spencer guided you towards the direction of your bathroom as soon as you had stepped into the threshold.

"Are you trying to get me naked, Spencer?" you remarked playfully after he refused to let you take your clothes off yourself.

"Yes." The gleaming mischief in your eyes caused him to flick your nose lightly. "Just to get you ready for your bath. Get your head straight, will you?"

You scoffed at his back as he turned around to check the water temperature in the tub.

Once you were submerged safely inside, Spencer left the bathroom to give you some privacy. Meanwhile, he began rummaging through your drawers to pull out a change of clothes, a towel, and a clean sheet for your bed.

By the time you exited, Spencer had changed your bedsheets and lit one of your favorite candles on the bedside table. He asked you to sit down on the bed as he kneeled before you, helping you put on the pajamas he had picked out with little prints of sunflowers on them.

None of Spencer's touches were sexual. They swept over your skin with the care of an artist handling their most precious work. When his eyes found yours, you swore you could almost cry from the intense adoration that seemed to shine so brightly out of them.

As he guided you to lie on the bed, you were surprised to see him following suit. He got under the covers with you, pulling you close to tangle every inch of your limbs with his.

"I love you, Spencer," you admitted to his chest, heart heavy with the deep appreciation and overwhelming affection for the man beside you.

Spencer looked down at your confession, finding his favorite pair of eyes already looking earnestly at him. Instinctively, he reached for your chin with his fingers, tugging your face upward until he could capture your lips with his.

The kiss was slow. Careful. Filled with silent promises and discreet reassurances. When you both parted, Spencer didn't pull himself away. Instead, he let his forehead touch yours while his eyes stayed closed.

"Will you be here when I wake up?" you asked quietly.

"Yes, sweetheart. Now go to sleep."

Although the two of you knew his answer was a lie, you both chose to pretend otherwise. You knew Spencer still had responsibilities to fulfill, along with a promise to you that he intended to keep. You knew that when you woke up later that evening, Spencer would already be long gone, and you would be forced to bask in the traces of himself that he had left behind.

But for now, Spencer was still there, in the comfort of your bedroom, lying on the bed next to you. And that knowledge alone was good enough for you to finally drift further into the land of sleep, surrounded by the warmth of Spencer's loving embrace.

"I'm telling you," JJ insisted, looking at her entire team minus Spencer and Hotch. "There was definitely something going on between them. Why else would he request to take over the cognitive for me?"

"Maybe he was feeling generous," Rossi deadpanned, earning an unimpressed glare from JJ.

It had been a full week since the BAU team had arrived in D.C. to investigate the series of gun attacks in the city. Just the day prior, they had successfully made their fourth arrest, bringing this case to yet another satisfying conclusion in the eye of justice.

If nothing else was amiss, they should have been on their way back to Quantico in less than an hour. In the meantime, though, JJ felt obliged to gather her team members in the middle of the bullpen to share her suspicion about a certain scene she had accidentally caught on their first day working the case.

"Pretty boy did seem more emotionally involved in this case than he usually does, though," Derek pointed out.

"Right? Right?" JJ replied almost too enthusiastically. "Come on, aren't you guys at least half as curious as I am about who this mystery girl might be? Don't you wanna try finding out who she is while we're still here?"

They all stared at each other in hesitation.

"Or, we could just ask Spencer directly and let him explain?" Emily suggested, receiving incredulous looks from the other three in response. "Yeah, you're right. What did you say her name was again?"

"I don't remember," JJ answered.

"It must be listed in the files somewhere, right?" Derek immediately sprung into action, reaching towards the scattered case files that might contain the name they were looking for.

"Just to be clear, I am not taking any part in this." Rossi sighed.

"Got it!" Derek waved the offending file in hand, giving it to JJ, who instantly began skimming over it.

"Alright. Says here that her name is..."

JJ read the name aloud when unexpectedly, an answering sound sprouted from behind them.

"Yes?"

Every single one of them turned in shock at your voice. You smiled at their wide-eyed expressions, waving your hand a little awkwardly in the air.

"You!" JJ exclaimed.

"Me?"

Emily nudged JJ in the ribs, making the blonde woman wince.

"Y-you're the witness from the startup case, right?" JJ said, trying to rectify the situation.

"That's me."

"What can we do for you, Miss?" Rossi asked, stepping forward and away from the rest of the group.

"I'm actually looking for Spencer. Do you know where he might be?"

"Spencer Reid? You know Reid?" Emily asked.

Before you had the chance to reply, the man in question came strolling into the bullpen, rambling animatedly to Hotch who was walking beside him. The moment Spencer caught sight of you, though, he immediately abandoned Hotch's side and rushed towards where you were standing.

"Hey, what are you doing here?"

"Looking for you, of course," you told him, fitting yourself easily into Spencer's side as his arm went around your waist. "Hi, Hotch."

The older man called your name in greeting. "I got your message. You wanted to talk to me?"

"I wanted to ask you--well, all of you, actually--" you glanced around at the other team members, "--if maybe you all would let me treat you to lunch? As a thank you for your hard work on the case."

Hotch nodded in response. "It's fine with me. We don't have to be back until tonight, anyway. Everyone?"

Instead of replying to your offer, Emily voiced aloud the question that was circling everyone's mind.

"You know her?" Emily looked at Hotch before dragging her eyes away towards you. "And you know him? You know each other? How?"

You gazed up at Spencer's eyes, seeing them shining with the same mirth as the one you felt dancing in your stomach.

"I guess this is supposed to be the part where I introduce myself, isn't it?" You chuckled.

Extending your palm, you shook each of their hands while telling them your name, them responding back with theirs even though you already knew who was who long before you had even met them.

"I still don't understand," JJ admitted after you finished shaking her hand. "How did you know Spencer and Hotch?"

Once again, you looked into Spencer's eyes, a question bouncing around in yours. Spencer's nod of affirmation was the only go-ahead you needed.

It's time.

"I'm Spencer's girlfriend."

"She's my wife."

You turned your head towards Spencer in shock.

In front of you, Spencer's teammates were causing an uproar.

"Wait, what?" Emily stared dumbfoundedly.

"You have a girlfriend?" Derek asked in disbelief.

"You're married?!" JJ shrieked.

"Hold on a second," Rossi interjected, holding his palms out as if to tell everyone to stand down and calm themselves. "So which one is it? Girlfriend or wife?"

And that was how you found yourself sitting in the private VIP room of your favorite restaurant in the city with some of Spencer's closest people on earth.

"That's the craziest story I've ever heard," Emily pondered in astonishment.

Rossi, Derek, and JJ were all wearing an identical look on each of their faces after hearing the story of how you and Spencer met: by drunkenly getting married in Vegas after only knowing each other for barely one night when you both weren't even twenty-two yet.

"If someone were to tell me yesterday that there's another member of this team who also went to get married while drunk in Vegas, I would have never even thought of mentioning Spencer's name," JJ mused.

At your curious expression, Spencer explained, "Rossi also got drunkenly married in Vegas to his third ex-wife,"

"Why didn't you two get a divorce?" Emily suddenly asked.

It was something that everyone who knew about your situation with Spencer had questioned at one point or another. The real answer was because you and Spencer had both been reluctant to go through the nasty and lengthy legal process of getting a divorce. Therefore, you decided to part ways without doing anything about it, vowing to only track each other down if one of you ever needed to end the bond because of another impending marriage or any other urgent matter.

But that reason alone was usually not enough to appease people's curiosity. And over the years, you and Spencer had poked fun over that particular fact by coming up with the most outrageous lie you could muster up.

"She wanted to get a divorce," Spencer fabricated smoothly. "I persuaded her otherwise because I had this inkling that someday we were gonna fall in love."

Usually, any other people would coo sweetly at Spencer's statememt.

But these weren't any other people. These people were Spencer's family in more ways except flesh and blood, and even without their profiling skills, you knew they could see right through Spencer's little deception.

"That sounds like bullshit to me. Doesn't that sound like bullshit to you?" Emily asked, turning to JJ for support.

"Yeah, that was bullshit, alright," JJ claimed vehemently, prompting an innocent-looking grin from Spencer and a series of chuckles from everyone else.

"When did you two start dating, then?" Rossi spoke up from one end of the table.

"About two years after Vegas, right?" you estimated, to which Spencer nodded in confirmation. "He strolled into my place of work while he was on a case, and then he asked me out."

Derek sat up on his seat after hearing the new information. "Wait, when was this? Why didn't I know about this?"

"The beginning of my second year in the BAU," Spencer offered. "Elle knew."

"Elle? Elle Greenway? You told Elle but not me?" Derek looked offended.

Spender shrugged nonchalantly. "Elle was assigned with me that day."

"Unbelievable." Derek slumped back down in his chair. "Penelope is gonna freak when she finds out what she missed today."

"Penelope? Oh, she already knows," you told him.

That revelation earned a collective disbelief look across the entire table.

"Yeah... I, uh," you cleared your throat, "I actually just went shopping with her two weeks ago."

"You've got to be kidding me," Emily muttered.

"You told Penelope but not me?" Derek sounded hurt as he pointed his accusatory stare at Spencer. "You even told Hotch!"

"I didn't tell Garcia. She dug through my history and found it out herself. Had to bribe her with candies and chocolates for a whole month to keep her quiet," Spencer grumbled. "And I had to tell Hotch. We needed to add her number to my emergency contact list."

Despite Spencer's concise explanation, Derek still seemed unsatisfied by the whole ordeal.

"How long have you known?" he finally decided to ask Hotch.

"A while," the man answered from his seat at the opposite end of the table from Rossi. "They even babysat Jack a few times for me."

"I don't believe this," Derek scowled. "Pretty boy's got himself a girl for the last six years, and I never knew? Outrageous."

"Technically, we've been married even longer than that," Spencer responded, as if he was unaware of the imminent glower that Derek was sending his way. "Eight years since Vegas."

"That's longer than any of my marriage," Rossi remarked before sipping his drink.

The laugh that resonated upon Rossi's little comment elicited an affectionate smile on your lips.

"So, you live in D.C., then?" JJ asked, at last stirring the conversation away from the topic of your and Spencer's secret marriage-slash-relationship.

"I do, yeah. But most of the time, I live out of my suitcase," you answered. "My firm has clients all over the country. A few overseas, as well. I'm lucky if I even get to have an entire week to sleep uninterrupted in my own bed."

Even then, you truthfully quite enjoyed the work you had to do. You didn't mind having to travel some place new every other week. In fact, you somehow believed that your constant need to travel for your job, and Spencer for his, was one of the reasons why the two of you worked so well together.

Although people might think that two adults who had to travel for a living were a recipe for a disastrous relationship, you and Spencer had so far proven otherwise. Because of your respective schedules, you could sympathize more with the other anytime they had to go somewhere urgent for work. It only made you savor every single second you spent together because of how much precious each one of them became.

The rest of lunch unraveled with the same bucket of smiles, jokes, and laughter. It felt good to finally tell the few people who meant the world in Spencer's life the truth about your relationship. It was also a huge relief to see them opening their arms and welcoming you into the family without an ounce of hesitation.

"Hotch?" Spencer called out after everyone exited the restaurant. "Will it be okay if I stay in the city for one more night?"

"As long as you promise to be back for tomorrow's briefing," Hotch reminded sternly, but the meaningful look he passed over you before he entered his vehicle spoke of a thousand things left unsaid.

"It was so nice meeting you," JJ said as she took you in her arms. "And I'm sorry again about your friend."

"Thank you. And thanks for all of your hard work in catching those guys."

"Of course, it's what we do." JJ smiled as she pulled away. "Invite me and Emily the next time you and Penelope hang out, okay?"

"Will do," you promised.

You watched as every single one of them scrambled into the two black SUVs, waving your goodbye until the cars drove out of your sight.

"I think that went well," you commented before looking up at Spencer. "Do you?"

"I think it went as well as it could."

"So--" you began, circling your arms around Spencer's neck, "--we have more than twelve hours until you're expected back at Quantico. What do you wanna do?"

Spencer nudged your nose with his. "I can think of a few activities we can partake in."

"Really?"

"Really."

Just as he was a hairbreadth away from pressing his lips to yours, you suddenly tore yourself out of Spencer's arms.

"Like getting some frozen yogurts?" you asked giddily, smirking at the dumbfounded look that you managed to put on Spencer's face.

"Fine. Let's go get some frozen yogurts."

Spencer had to hide his amused grin at your elated squeals. He was more than content at that moment to let you produce those addictive sounds at the mere prospect of frozen yogurts.

But later that night, he had a whole different set of activities lined up to pull those same sounds out of you once more.

And it might or might not potentially involve an entirely different yet creative use of frozen yogurts as well.

Spencer simply just hadn't decided yet.

[semischarmed]

Danny

Always have to keep you guys guessing ;) so this one is veeeeery different from my normal content, but I figured I’d put something tamer to balance out the upcoming Pt. 2 to that Thread story. It’s a bit long, but I didn’t feel like keeping two concurrent multi-parters. Let me know what you think!

=============

“So, it’s the necklace?” I asked the professor at the university. It was a wonder I was able to keep up with even half of the lecture that had just transpired. 

“Something like that.” The professor replied back to our small group. “We’re all just a sea of electrical impulses. With this computer model, we can accurately track and mimic the exact electrical shocks needed to replicate a mind. Of course, the mind is so much data, the transfer-the upload needs to be instantaneous with an equivalent download- the university doesn’t give us enough grant money for computers that can store that much data, much less secure it. So, we needed biological means of storage. That’s why there’s an even number of participants”.

The room was utterly confused. For one, there was definitely an odd number of participants. Dr. Cohn was never known for dumbing down complex concepts, but even the smartest kids in class seemed stumped the past few hours. Maybe he didn’t have to go in that level of depth for his experiment.

Our group was a mix. It seemed like a sampling of the very best of the class, and a few average performers. I did find it weird they offered extra credit to students that probably didn’t need it. Sticking out like a sore thumb was Chad. He was the school quarterback, though no one was sure for much longer, as he was on academic probation. I couldn’t help but speculate with Kat, a top performer, on his placement. Combining our limited knowledge on the students in our class, and the school’s football team, we landed on this being some sort of extra credit that the university probably forced on poor Dr. Cohn. Ever the nosy one, Mackenzie piped in. “Of course they’d try to save their star quarterback. I heard 3 professors already quit trying to bring up his GPA. This is basically his last shot“.  

And then there was Danny. Part of that “very best” group. Unlike the other students in the room, he seemed to take in the professor’s whole lecture and was deep in thought. His face lay still, serene. But I could see the intelligence behind his eyes spinning to life. I always liked when he did that, like he was chewing on an idea before spitting out the most brilliant insights. Or maybe I just like how the corner of his mouth would turn up into a small smile when he finished thinking things through. I caught myself staring again, thanking my luck that no one had seen. Mackenzie laughed a little behind me. I sighed, laughing a small defeat. Almost no one had seen. 

“So it basically swaps our brains?” Danny inquired. He looked around the room, gauging our comprehension. That was when it clicked for me. He took note and let out a small smile. I smiled back. That was the other thing I liked about the guy. He always seemed to want everyone to succeed. This wasn’t the first time he’d thoroughly condense a difficult topic into a quick word or phrase the class could understand. His eyes smiled whenever he could recognize concepts “clicking” for people and I saw it do the same as my other classmates- even Chad- figured it out. I recoiled a little, from a nudge from Mackenzie. I sighed again, airing a “thank you” her way. I had been staring again.

“No, nothing like that! Could you imagine how difficult an operation like that would be? All this does is swap your mind.” Aaaand just like that, we were back to confusion. Danny smiled though.

“Got it. So your brain’s the hardware, your mind’s the software. The necklaces do a switcheroo and then new hardware, same software- or, vice versa, I suppose.” Back on track.

“Wait, how much of ‘me’ is in the hardware? Like my memories?” I blurted out, immediately growing red. That seemed to have garnered an approving smile from Danny. I grew redder.

The professor’s eyes lit up. “Now you’re thinking like a scientist.” He laughed before shrugging. “Who’s to say… we are running an experiment after all”. Dr. Cohn always was a messy one.

“So, uh, how long is it supposed to last?” Mackenzie asked.

“That’s the fun of it, once we’re paired, the switch can go for as little or as long you as want!” We. That threw me off a little. I caught his glance to Chad. “Don’t worry, I’ll be a part of this experiment too.” The professor said, with a smile that felt too wide. “Don’t forget to record your notes and thoughts into this log book. For privacy, they’ve been password protected- we’ll reconvene this little group in a year and just draft up a summary of your experiences from these books.”

There was an obvious question everyone’s mind. Thankfully, Kevin asked it. “So who’s swapping with who?”

The professor’s eyes lit up in excitement. “We’ve all been paired, randomized of course. I’ll leave the pairings to figure out when they’d want to swap. Just put on your necklaces at 6pm tonight and start your log books. After that, whenever either of you squeezes your necklace, the swap will ensue”. From the way the professor’s eyes kept darting to Chad, something told me it hadn’t been entirely random.

I thought through the possible pairings. Kevin was kind of cute, I guess. Though I wasn’t sure if it was just the airport effect with how limited our group size was. Kat or Mackenzie would just be weird. Mackenzie especially- that girl knows a little too much about me and lord knows what she’d do behind my wheel. Running down the list of people, there was Chad. Of course, who wouldn’t want to be in Chad’s shoes- I had to dispel a dirty thought that passed my mind. Everyone’s probably thinking it. The professor’s body wouldn’t be too bad either, I could always just pressure the faculty into giving me better grades, maybe boost the grades of my friends. And then there was Danny. Danny. My heartrate shot up instantly.

Sitting in my dorm room, I looked at the clock with a bit of fear. “5:55 pm,” it read. I took a few deep breaths, trying to calm my nerves. “5:59 pm”. Nope. There was nothing calm about this. I closed my eyes shut, as I felt the necklace whir a little. Looks like someone else already squeezed it. 

Zzzip

=============

“Log book 1: 

<3

It was Danny. Holy fuck, I got to be in Danny.”

I stared at the journal entry. That was all I could manage to write with my shaking hands. I could hardly believe it. A lifetime can change in 5 minutes, apparently. My heart was still beating and my face still flushed when we switched back. He had a soccer game so our first meeting had to be short. 

 My first minute was just looking down at my new Danny-worn hands, breathing through his lungs, inhaling as much as I could of his room. I wanted to commit this man to memory. My logic-or, Danny’s logic perhaps, told me there would inevitably be more swaps to come, but my mind wouldn’t have it. Whatever piece of Danny I could get, however minuscule, I wanted to stretch every moment infinite.

I felt a sense of guilt wash over me, as my new Danny-worn package began to harden when I realized he was in soccer gear. I tried to shake off the feeling- I couldn’t do that to him. Then came the text. I recognized the number of course, it was my old body’s. “Hey man, glad to see we’re partners”. My heart stirred. “It’s Danny, but you probably already knew that”. To see him text me so casually froze me in place. “Anyways, I do have a game coming up, mind if we switch back?” I couldn’t even bring Danny’s hands to answer himself. “I’ll take that as a yes”.

Zzzip

And just like that, I was back. My hand clinging to my chest, breaths ragged. 

Wait, Fuck. Was I still hard in his body when we switched back?

=============

Zzzip

“Log book 7:

Met up today. Joint gym day. 

Gym feels better in Danny’s body. Unsure if exercise has a different effect on people’s bodies, or if it’s tied to our minds. Seems to be a lag in my emotions.”

I’m not really one to be consistent with exercise. I set the book down, and relocked it, panting as I had in our first switch, but this time due to Danny working my body to the brink.

I think he noticed, because he apologized profusely when I slumped in the bench to catch my breath in the locker room.

I can’t believe I had agreed to it. Danny wanted to test the effects of exercise with different bodies. He stated he wanted to see what it was like doing routine exercises in a different body. Does the body retain that physical memory? Or is it the mind? I only agreed because it was Danny. So, there I was, in the school gym staring at the door like a fish out of water. 

I felt a reassuring hand on my back before my ears immediately shot red when I realized whose hand it was. “Do you have your log book on hand? Should probably write down notes immediately after the switchback”. I immediately panicked at thought that he wanted to compare notes, thinking back to my first entry but he seemed to have caught on to my thought process and immediately dismissed the idea. “It wouldn’t make sense to taint the data with outside factors. Danny was probably the only person that fully understood the professor’s entire experiment so I took his word for it.

When we swapped, I had to focus on not instantly growing hard. For someone seemingly so bookish, the guy was surprisingly fit. Walking to the treadmill, I felt every muscle brimming with power. My first run in his body. Euphoric. Danny was a well-oiled machine. Every component moving in tandem. Lungs drawing in and out powerful gusts of air. Eyes staring me in the mirror, furrowed in powerful determination, and legs gliding with a grace that did not diminish the power behind each foot. I lost myself in the exercise, content to just being inside his body, guided by his body. I finished the run with a heavy pant, knowing full well I’d be hard beyond belief at what lay before me. I eyed myself in the mirror, in sweat-laden body of my crush. The scent was indescribable. Like a pleasant musk basking in the damp earth. Was it always this good? Was this how other people felt when they exercised? I twirled the necklace around Danny’s neck, making sure to not squeeze, mentally thanking whatever gods there may be for this experience.

I looked back at Danny, in my body. His running form was a bit clumsy, but there was a confidence in them that I didn’t often see in myself. Maybe a trick of the light, or residual feelings from the run I just had but I was captivated. I honestly looked almost cute like this. 

He finished, panting before immediately pulling out his book and writing a few notes. He beamed back at me, pointing at the necklace. Even in my body, that smile was unmistakably his. I smiled back, ready to swap once more.

Zzzip

Weird. I still felt the infatuation. I looked back at the body I had just inhabited, still feeling the butterflies in my stomach. It was Danny so I was used to those, but not immediately after a swap. The past few times it always took a second or two to readjust. Danny looked at me, a bit uncomfortable. No doubt it had been from the grave face I was making. I shook my head, not wanting to worry him. Or worse, force a premature end to this experience. “It’s nothing, just a hell of an exercise haha”.

This may be a bit of a problem.

=============

“Interesting, and you’re sure it’s residual feeling?” Said a slightly disinterested Chad, eyeing his dreamy biceps.

“Yes, when I.. uh.. felt angry in his body and switched back, my body did too.”  

“Well it is a swap, of course so your mind returning to its body would feel the same things it felt…” The professor in chad’s body spoke in a slightly faraway tone, like there was something he’d rather be doing. “Though, it shouldn’t be this instant. It’s not physically possible unless…”

I winced, worried for the worst and hoping to remain Danny’s partner.

“This might be a bit of an issue if those necklaces are defective…” He then mumbled something about permanent effects on the mind. “If they are, we’d have to stop the entire experiment. It wouldn’t be right-“ The professor caught a glimpse of Chad’s body in the reflection of his door before looking back at me. “Look, maybe just limit the swaps to low pressure situations, and try to avoid high-emotion situations in case your ‘residual’ hypothesis is correct. Cause if that were true, it would mean you leave a little of yourself every time you swap.”

“Got it, professor”.

“Maybe keep this side effect a little secret for now. We wouldn’t want the others worrying and tainting the data,” Chad’s body spoke in an authoritative tone as his hands sauntered below the desk. “Oh, and please close the door on your way out“.

=============

“Log book 50:

Pain.” 

We had been swapping fairly frequently, despite the professor’s warning. Danny was a drug I couldn’t shake. The guy was my kryptonite and he had no idea. Everytime we swapped, every moment we shared, I couldn’t bring myself to tell him about the professor’s words. Every swap back, I could feel my heart beating as wildly as my first time, stomach churning pleasantly. It was like a wave of sweetness whenever I had a chance to be Danny. Then, the guilt came soon after.

Danny seemed to like the spontaneity. Eventually, we settled on free-switching, aside from classes. Some days, I’d randomly switch and my eyes would focus on my homework, completed with a little smiley face drawn on the corner. I tried that little trick with him once, only to get a text back of his graded assignment, scored uncharacteristically low for the top performer, followed by another text “Nice try anyway lol” 

=============

“Log book 190:

I hate you.”

Zzzip

“Danny, is something wrong?” The shock of the situation stopped me from initially processing anything I was seeing. My clumsy hands. I had been fumbling with my collar, when I accidentally initiated a swap. A wave of embarrassment hit, and then anger. Seething, bottomless anger.

I almost dropped the flowers Danny’s body had been handing her. Without explanation, I quickly squeezed the necklace to send me back.

Zzzip

I sat in stunned silence for a second, before the anger drew me back to my thoughts.

Who was I angry at? Of course it was a girl. He had to have been dating around. It was presumptuous to even think we were anything more than partners in a crazed professor’s experiment. And yet, I was still angry. Irrationally angry at Danny for not picking up on the hints, maybe angry at the professor for dragging me into this mess in the first place. But most of all, I was angry at myself. 

I felt the buzz of a text, ears still heated. Danny again. “You ok?”  

I sighed as reasoning took over and anger transformed into sadness. I wrote a quick note in the log book, then pulled my phone up before texting back. “Yeah”.

“Lol Claudia says hi”, came a text back. I gritted my teeth, not wanting to impart any jealousy in my response, but I was soon stopped by another text. 

“If you wanted to meet my sister, you should have just asked lol”.

=============

“Log book 290

I’m stupid. I’m sorry. I’m stupid. I’m sorry.”

I’m so sorry. I said to Danny in my head, as I slumped in my chair. You’re so fucking stupid. I told myself. These past few months swapping back and forth with Danny had been a dream. 

From something as simple swapping before brushing his teeth to even taking a class as him. I savored every single moment. 

But as the experiment had been drawing to a close, and as I felt my time nearing and my guilt intensifying, other, less kind thoughts bubbled in my head. 

What if I did ‘that’ in his body. What if I did it while thinking of my own body. I gulped. Danny didn’t know, and from what I could tell, he hadn’t suspected a thing. “Maybe I could make him like me.” Even just saying it out loud felt like a taboo. I could just imagine Danny’s disapproving face as I pondered corrupting our newfound friendship, and corrupting him at his core.

The devil on my shoulder continued. We’ve been swapping all this time. And he doesn’t notice. My dick stirred. He wouldn’t notice and you could train his body to fall in love with you.

No. No. I couldn’t do that to Danny. I eyed the near approaching date on the calendar- the date the experiment would end- and I gulped again. I pulled up a photo of him.

Darkness gripped at my chest, as I pondered my next step. And then I squeezed.

“Danny, I love you and I’m sorry.”

Zzzip

My heart, or rather Danny’s, began to beat faster and faster. I pulled up a fairly difficult puzzle before I swapped, so I knew I had some time with his flesh before he’d try to swap back.

I gingerly pulled down his shorts, staring at his bulge hungrily. Then I slowly teased out his dick, moaning at the feeling of flesh touching flesh. Being in his body, having this level of access to Danny. I was hard instantly.

It felt almost macabre, seeing his flesh move to my every whim, forced to feel my feelings. I wanted to etch myself into him as much as possible, and with every pump I moaned my original body’s name. It took all of the restraint in Danny’s body, which, apparently was a lot, to not burst. But one can only hold out so long, hearing one’s crush moan their name in delirious ecstasy. I sang my name in his resonant voice one more time, before flashing instantly to my body and back to his.

Zzzip Zzzip

I released his sticky white seed in what felt like the first cum of my life. I suppose, in a sense, it was. I hoped that sealed it. Conditioning Danny to me. The swaps were imperceptibly fast, and I took the lack of delay in emotions as a sign of success.

Zzzip Zzzip

I released a breath in Danny’s body I didn’t know I was holding, basking in the afterglow before immediately realizing what I had just done. 

Guilt came out of me drop by drop. As his tears began to leave their marks on his shirt, I slowly began to clean up. The pleasure of the situation still clung to me, as I mournfully switched back. Then came another gut-wrenching wave of sadness. Danny, I’m so sorry. 

I looked to the incomplete puzzle in front of me, laughing a little at his lack of progress to ease the sadness.

Then came another text from Danny. “Dude, that puzzle’s impossible”. 

=============

“Log book 300:

Food definitely tastes different in a different body.”

“Look, just try them man” Danny said with a smile, holding a fry in his hand. And the necklace in another. 

Only a few short days left before the experiment’s end. I made no mention of that night, nor the professor’s words to Danny. 

Danny had, in fact, been coming by more often. Prompting more hangouts, initiating more switches. I was elated every time he asked. I even caught a few longer glances from his body, marinating in pleasure at seeing this new side of Danny. However happy I had been, underlying it all was the guilt of my deed.

Danny again held the fry out expectantly. I laughed slightly. “Haha, fine”.

Zzzip

I took a bite from his body. Yep, it was definitely a fry. My own body looked up at me, smiling a Danny-flavored smile before grabbing the half-bitten fry. “Now let’s control for this variable. Same fry,” he said, wiggling it in the air.

Zzzip

I stared at the fry covered in a bit of his saliva. Heaven. I looked back at him and nodded. As we parted ways, I couldn’t help my smile from peeking through. 

He was right, it did taste better on my end.

=============

“So, we’re not getting paid”? I asked Danny, as we sat in the table. He had a few wine glasses in front. 

It had been a full year since the experiment first started. Despite the general weirdness from the other groups swapping, everyone had been relatively well adjusted. Except for Chad, or whatever he’d be called now. A swapped Kat couldn’t help but spill the beans. Apparently, the professor had no obligation to offer the guy extra credit. He specifically targeted the quarterback for his experiment. What’s worse, he’d apparently created a newer version of the necklace. One that could overwrite and transmit. Chad’s frat brothers mentioned he was offered another credit for participating in a second experiment for this new necklace. After that, no one had seen either person. The pair had mysteriously disappeared, leaving the school scrambling to cover up everything. All most of us knew was one day we suddenly had perfect grades retroactively added for the past year, along with a very scary letter prompting a signature. 

“The university isn’t going to do anything about this.” He said. I was still skeptical as I slowly eyed one of the wine bottles that once graced former Dr. Cohn’s shelf. “It’s the least they could do for all those, ethics violations”. He pulled the cork with a satisfying pop, a mischievous gleam in his eye as he handed me a glass. “Now c’mon, try this”. 

I suppose alcohol had a way of loosening me up. “So…. we’re not getting paid”? I asked again, sarcastically this time. It had been a year, so talking to Danny felt easy. I thought back to my log book, fully intending on burning the thing. Danny shook his head.

“Hard to put a price on crimes against humanity. Or, something like that” he laughed. “The university just said to dump everything and basically forget that experiment ever happened.”

I couldn’t help but laugh as well. I shrugged, knowing money or even perfect grades for a year held no candle to the experience of a lifetime I just had with Danny. I was afraid of the answer, but it had to be asked. “What should we do with these things?” I asked, looking at the necklace still gracing his beautiful neck. His eyebrows raised as he saw the same necklace gracing mine. 

“I mean, by now, you’re pretty used to it, right?” He asked with an almost pleading look in his eye. There was something bugging him. I watched as he fiddled with his feet. “Maybe…” His ears turned bright red. It was riveting finally seeing this side oh him. More than that, it was downright cute. “M-Maybe” he stammered again. Danny took a deep breath to calm himself, though his scarlet face told all. “Maybe we can keep. Um. Swapping. Sometimes, sometimes I like being you, and sometimes I kind of like when you’re me.” He looked at me and smiled weakly, trying to change the subject. “A-Anyway, you need a place to stay next year, r-right? It kind of feels like we’ve already been roommates these past 12 months, what’s another 12?” His sweet words did nothing the dampen the guilt I felt in my betrayal. In any other circumstance, I’d have died happy just hearing that confession from him. Instead I could only think back to the professors words. I did live, at least partially, in Danny throughout this past year. It felt like a betrayal of myself to not come clean.

“Danny, listen. I think I need to tell you first, in your body…” My breath hastened, and I felt my stomach churn. How do you tell a guy what you’ve done with his body- *in* his body? Danny’s face frowned in concern as my bubbling emotions seemed to knock him out of his quick spell of shyness.

He smiled a little. “Look man, whatever you’ve done in my body, I’ve probably done too.” His smile widened. “Your body is mine, my body is yours. Call it even”. More words that would have swept me off my feet, had I not been confessing. More torture ensued.

“I went to the professor about it a few months ago and never told you” I continued. I was practically holding back tears. “Our necklaces were bugged, I think”.

“The professor said…” I gulped. “It was possible that when we switch, our minds don’t come through all at once.” Now tears did begin to swell. “You know how it’s supposed to take a second for your emotions to catch up. Well, when we switch, I still feel the same emotions…”. I gulped. “Since day 1, I think I’ve overwritten your, um, preferences”. Danny’s poker face felt like a dagger in my heart. It’s a face I often made in his body when I was in deep thought, so I knew he had to have been processing to the same conclusion. I could practically see the gear turning in his head. Click.

Face still an enigma, Danny waited a moment and then asked a simple question. “When did you tell the professor?” Click. 

I sniffled as I laid it bare in front of him. “5 months ago. Danny, I’m sorry! I dunno, I just thought maybe… maybe if we kept switching, if our minds kept being in each other’s bodies. Maybe if a little piece of how I felt kept lagging behind, you might have-“ Now the gear was fully spinning and I saw the realization hit his face. I had no idea what he was going to do. Punch me? Maybe. Run away in disgust? Likely. Instead, Daniel had done something equally surprising. His hand rested on my shoulder in a reassuring fashion. Then that same hand motioned me forward.

My memory of the next moment felt like a million moments in one. It was something so outside my realm of possibilities, my brain simply couldn’t process. The whiplash hit my senses all at once. Sweet but a bit salty. A moment of quietness before the background sounds of the campus slowly drizzled back in. The scent of fresh laundry and damp earth. My eyes took even longer to adjust from black to red to an image slowly refocussing. Last was my brain, which had been stunned into silence. I sat back in shock, repeating the same phrase over and over in my head. Danny just kissed me.

He laughed, eyes twinkling and mouth pulled into a smile, beaming in the way that always made my heart swoon. “That theory’s bogus. Trust me. I haven’t felt any different”. He smiled again, sheepishly this time, before fishing something from his backpack’s large pocket. He looked at the item in front of him, hand slightly shaking in hesitation before making his decision. Slowly, he held up his own log book, flipped to the very first page:

“Log Book 1:

<3 ”

=============

[cozage]

Welcome to My Blog!

Hi, I’m Cozage! You can call me Coza. I’m 25, she/they pronouns are preferred, but any are fine. Right now I’m just writing for One Piece, but I’m open to writing for just about anyone within that realm. Please read this whole post before sending a message!

Requests: CLOSED

Pending requests: 30🤭

Masterlist Part 1 | Masterlist Pt 2

Are your requests open?

Not at the moment! Please do not send me a request when my requests are closed. I ALWAYS delete them, just to be fair. You are always welcome to send me questions and feedback on my writing or ideas for future chapters for my multifics, but please no new requests. Just because I am fulfilling requests, does not mean my requests are open! 

Can I request a part 2 even when your requests are closed?

This is where it gets dicey. The simple answer is: no. HOWEVER, you can pop into my inbox and let me know that you really liked a specific story and ask if I'm going to have a part two (respectfully!) and you might convince me. Almost all of my multi-parters have come from requests, and I'm always looking for new multi-chapter fics to write :)

When do you open for requests?

I close my requests when my inbox reaches 20, and then I reopen it again when I get it back down to 5. You can check the status of my requests at the top of this post. Events have separate rules and guidelines, which are always explained in the post. If I have an event going on, it'll be tagged in the announcement section at the top of this post!

What should I include in my request?

Reader gender (if you dont specify I'll just do non-gendered), characters you want (try to limit it to 3 or 4, or else I might pick and choose from the list and omit some characters), the scenario you want, you can also clarify if you want a headcanon list or a short fic!

Edit to add: Just a friendly reminder, the more characters you add to a request, the more overwhelming it is for me (and more likely it is to get deleted! 3 characters really is the sweet spot!)

What requests do you accept?

Just about anything. I do occasionally post NSFW, but it’s always tagged and marked. I have a few hard no’s, though:

Relationship situations for minors/large age gaps, pedophilia, grooming, incest, noncon (that’s not a cohesive list, but you get the gist).

Do you write for polys?

Maybe! Polys are hard for me to write. I struggle making the relationship balance equal and keeping people in character while also doing justice to a well-written relationship w/o being too corny. But! If you send it in, I'll at least give it a shot :)

Who can I request?

Just about anyone from One Piece, and I'll do my best given the scenario. Some people I will definitely always write for and take almost any request you send are:

Luffy, Zoro, Sanji, Ace, Law, Kidd, Shanks, and Buggy

Everyone else is hit or miss on if I can imagine their scenarios, but I'll do my best. Some people who I really struggle writing are: Crocodile, Doffy, Izou (And I will not write for Gol Roger ever because I hate him 💕)

How detailed should my request be?

Try to keep it a healthy medium! If there are important aspects you want to be included in your story, let me know :) But try to avoid giving me a play-by-play. That level of detail makes me feel trapped and it's hard to take a creative spin on it. If you have a story you are imagining in your head and you want someone to write it...well, have you considered being a writer? :)

I have more than one request...

Try to limit your requests to 1 or 2, please! We want room for other people to have their ideas to come to light. If you have two ideas, you need to submit two separate messages. Please do not put two story ideas together in a request, or I will just write one :)

Do you take commissions? How can I support you?

I don't take commissions yet, and I'm struggling with doing that, so we will see. When they do appear, they'll appear on my Ko-fi account (where you can also support me through donations if you so feel inclined!)

What tags do you use (for blacklisting or other purposes)?

Most of my blog is writing, but here's how I tag certain things in case you want to blacklist or follow them:

"cozage" - any type of writing for One Piece I do will have this (just to show it's my work)

"coza thoughts" - May be my daily thoughts/info about writing. No substance though, just me.

"coza asks" - messages that I get that aren't requests. Usually just me responding to people

all the pairings also get tagged as well, so if you were to search "Zoro" hashtag on my page, any fics with him would come up

Do you have an AO3?

Yes! Same name as here. I put a lot of my short multi-chapter fics there (but Tumblr gets all the updates first) BUT here’s a link to it. 

Is there anything else I should know?

Please just remember that when you send me a request or a message, I may not always respond to it. I do always read them, though! I just don't always respond because I don't want to clog up my page with posts that aren't content. Don’t get me wrong, I love hearing everyone’s ideas and working together with you all to bring these ideas to life. Send the ask, let me know what you think and how you feel and all of your ideas, but remember that I’m human too! I have feelings and friends and a life outside of writing for our favorite One Piece characters. I look forward to reading your thoughts, and sharing mine with you. 

Love, Coza <3

[wannaeatramyeon]

uhm could you possibly do jealous lookism character headcanons? (._.)

Thanks for the ask anon! This has been a wild 2 weeks of hyperfixating for me and I'm starting to dry up so this has come as a good time (altho I've got lots of drafts sitting around lol)

This has been super interesting. Some characters obv have a jealous personality, but I've never thought about those who don't. This will def become a multi-parter!

Most jealous here!

Lookism jealous headcanons: least jealous

Let's start with these guys first (Jake, Vasco, Gun, Daniel, Eli): hc for being jealous themselves, and hc for you trying to make them jealous

Jake Kim

To be with Mr. Butt, you would have developed a pretty good relationship anyway to move into the romantic terrority. He knows you are loyal and trusts you implicitly.

Any naturally occuring feelings of jealousy are for him to deal with on his own. Will take a bit of poking and prodding before he talks to you about it.

But if you're trying to provoke him? Why are you even trying to make him jealous? Two can play at this game if you're trying to be a pain in the ass. He'll try and talk things through with you first, to see if he's pissed you off. But if you carry on? Expect him in full silly mode: kneeling down before you, shouting his apologies, announcing his feelings, literally begging you to stop flirting with this ugly nobody.

Vasco Tabasco

Rarely, if ever, gets jealous. He's just so happy to be with you. It's one thing if you're in trouble, but if he notices someone is being overly friendly but you're nonplussed? He just looks at you with heart eyes: "Ahhh look at Y/N. They're so cute and pretty! I can't believe they're with me!!"

If you're provoking Vasco then good luck. He wouldn't really understand your actions but will be upset about how he is feeling. "Do you like them more than me, Y/N? :(((" The sad face is enough to guilt you into stopping. Really, it's like kicking a puppy. Why would you do that.

Gun Park

Feeling jealous of his own accord? Guess being with you proves he is human afterall. He's arrogant, confident but aware of his own limitations. Jealousy isn't an emotion he's well acquaintained with. Will result in him brooding or being extra cold until he can put his finger on it and figure out the next steps.

Lucky for you, Gun is pretty forthright. He'll tell you what has been making him jealous so you can both work through it.

Trying to make him jealous? Also good luck. Gun will see right through your attempts. Depends what mood he is in. At times he's amused but generally he will ignore you and your childishness.

Daniel Park

Yes, he's had a glow up in his first body and yes, he gets lots of attention in his second but that doesn't erase years and years of bullying and hating himself. The feelings of inadequacy will overwhelm and cause him to shrink back into himself.

He'll need a lot of reassurance that you love him for him. It's better if you don't focus too much on his appearance. "What happens if one day I put on weight again? or when I get old? Will you still like me then? :("

Provoking him? Please don't be so mean to Daniel. Especially if you know about his insecurities. This is more of a reflection on you and your issues if you're purposely making him jealous. Shame on you.

Eli Jang

Tends to get jealous if he thinks someone else is a better provider for you: physically, romantically, mentally, financially etc. Being the Big Daddy for Eli means he should be able to do it all, and then some. He will get in his head if he thinks someone else is better suited to you.

For Eli, actions speak louder than words - show him how much you love him and he has nothing to worry about.

Cannot imagine him being with a partner that would try and make him jealous. There's enough on his hands with Hostel and Yenna. He wants a mature and stable presence in their lives, he doesn't want nor have the time to play these games.

[askdacast]

Life Series SMP/Eyes and Ears AU Thematic Discussion + Theorycrafting (pt. 1)

WARNING: Extremely long post

Kachow what’s poppin fellas, I’m back at it again talking about boomer block Youtubers and their surprisingly in-depth improv series. Now that the Life Series’ 5th season has finally concluded, I’m back on the lore train and poor Scar is left to suffer the consequences, and Martyn’s concluded yet another lore stream, I decided to compile a long master post of lore notes and theories about what we have so far.

Obviously all the ‘lore’ of the Life Series is purely unofficial; Grian has not approved any of it as being actually official/set in stone for what he intended the series to be. Most of it has been us in the crazy fandom extrapolating their really good storytelling, and also “semi-canonized” by Martyn in what he calls the Eyes and Ears AU (and this post assumes you are familiar with it). As someone who’s been a fan since the beginning way back in 3rd Life, I’ve pretty much hopped on the lore train since the beginning as well (if casually) and enjoying all the different extrapolations/analysis/angst written around the players. Rather than just theorizing lore details in a vacuum, however, I’ve always liked imagining the lore based around the reoccurring themes, symbolism and arcs we’ve seen across the series. I’d been bouncing my various thoughts and theories around these themes for a while, and finally I decided to compile my notes together.

This post is basically my imagining what the Life Series/Eyes and Ears AU story is “about,” as if it were a fleshed-out, long-running and story-driven tv show. Initially this post started as simply a gigantic “Eyes and Ears Theory,” me trying to sus out my own theories/ideas of what the Life Series’ mysteries were based on Martyn’s lore. However, considering that Martyn is ALSO writing the lore on the fly, and I have some details I would interpret differently or change, this ended up less a ‘theory’ and more ‘me writing an entire AU/interpretation of the Life Series as a whole.’ My intention is NOT to ‘correct’ Martyn’s lore, nor to claim my theory as the ‘right’ interpretation; rather, this is my personal interpretation of what the Life Series story is about, based on information shown in the original SMP and in Martyn’s AU.

One last disclaimer: I am ONLY drawing on lore details from the Life Series, Martyn’s lore streams, and Minecraft EVO, and also references to the iRL creators. I am not drawing on any story from other SMPs such as Pirates or Empires; there may be some Hermitcraft references here and there.

This is going to be very long, and a multi-parter, because I can’t summarize to save my life. And I promise I’ll come up with a proper name for my series of posts another time. If you’ve stuck around to read, I thank you.

Part 1: The Overall Plot + Understanding the Watchers

Recap of official lore details

Although Martyn hasn’t given specific details on the Watcher + Listener species (he hasn’t come up with a name yet), we know the following details for sure (from EVO, lore streams etc.)

Watchers + Listeners + The Council are all deity-like beings of the same species, and they all consume human emotions

The Council are the upper ranks/possibly leaders, whereas the Watchers + Listeners are separate factions

The Watchers are at LEAST two high-ranking members of the species (the two dots being outcast from the wider circle, as is their logo)

The Watchers were behind Minecraft EVO, where they gave all the players tasks (much like Secret Life) and eventually ending in them fighting the Ender Dragon separately

While the Watchers may not have been evil in EVO, they certainly became so AFTER, when they began to crave more negative human emotions, viewing them as “tasty” (Martyn’s words), s p i c y

They first kidnapped Grian at the end of EVO season 1, turning him into a Watcher to possibly have him join their ranks, but he’s gone rogue after realizing what their plans for the Life Series were, and plans to rescue his friends from them

The Life Series was the Watchers’ ploy to trap the players in an infinite death game where they betray and cause each other pain, all to harvest their negative emotions. Grian, in defiance to this, takes control as the ‘game master’ to make the whole thing…well, a game, so that his friends can enjoy, have fun and ease their anguish. In Martyn’s words, this is like “pouring ketchup all over the Watchers’ sundae.”

The Listeners (EVO season 2) are an opposing faction to the Watchers who disagree with their methods, although why is unknown. They’ve attempted to contact some players (e.g. Jimmy) before back in EVO in order to oppose the Watchers, but it’s not known how successful they were. They’ve also tried to swap in players in the Life Series before (e.g. subbing Lizzie and Gem for Pearl and Cleo in Lim. Life) in order to sneak them in and try to subvert the game. The Watchers kidnapping Gem for Secret Life is partially in retaliation to the Listeners. The Listeners may not be good and may have nefarious intentions also, it is as yet still unknown.

There’s potentially a third faction, the Speakers, but very little is known about them and Martyn doesn’t want to elaborate on them yet.

Okay, but what are the Watchers even after?

"Accept your fate."

From here on out is my real conjecturing/theorizing. The main question on my mind has been why are the Watchers doing what they’re doing? Obviously Martyn has confirmed that they are malicious deities who find negative human emotions tasty, but this raises further questions. Why exactly do they desire such emotions, or need them to survive (if they do, anyway)? Why do they favour negativity, when the other members of their species consume a wide range of emotions? They were confirmed to be outcast in some way from the other factions for this ploy, so what does that say about them then?

The whole species fundamentally do not understand human emotions (or perhaps do not even possess them)

This seems to me the most logical conclusion. These are powerful deities who can create miniature worlds/dimensions, life, and time to an extent (death loop). They should theoretically be self-sufficient, so I doubt that their consumption of human emotion is for survivability reasons (i.e. I don’t think Watchers will literally die if they don’t consume emotions, the same way humans die without food). What seems more likely is that human emotions bring them some benefit to their intelligence or power that they’d otherwise be quite non-functional without. (Think like the demons in The Promised Neverland, who regress to feral natures/lack of sapience if they don’t eat humans)

The Watchers’ powers and their lab-rat experimentation on the players gives a huge vibe of not being able to understand human emotions in an involved way, but only from a distance. They know methodically things like murder and betrayal cause panic and anguish, so they enforce these experiences through the game, mechanics like the Boogeyman, the Secret Tasks etc. But they don’t really know internally why these emotions come about the way humans do. Being above time, they probably don’t understand why the funny small animals have so much attachment to their transitory experiences and memories (more on this later).

world's angriest pumpkin

The Watchers are Losers, Actually

Going further, don’t you think the Watchers have a very misanthropic mindset all around? “Anguish and panic are s p i c y.” They conversely have a complete disgust for positive emotions, and can’t stand Grian making things fun for everybody. It almost feels like they have the mindset that only things like hatred and fear are exciting, bringing motivation and life to the humans, whereas things like happiness and fun are ‘useless�� because they don’t bring about the same results. Let’s also not forget their name – Watchers – and that Martyn’s confirmed them to be symbolically based off us, the audience. It’s almost like a commentary of the worst of the entertainment industry, of an audience who crave watching anything and everything to satisfy their own desires, even at the expense of the privacy and safety of the entertainer. Given the current state of the internet and social media, I don’t think I need to elaborate how awful things can get.

In other words, I believe the main motivation the Watchers are eating humans emotions is because they WANT to understand and ‘take into themselves’ such emotions. I don’t think they’re totally emotionless – Martyn does portray them with moments of glee and anger. But their understanding of emotions is superficial (self-centered, if you will) at best. As deities with no needs, being above time, they have nothing to be afraid of and nothing to feel sad or anguished over. It’s a boring, dull and empty existence. And that’s precisely why they’ve set up the Life Series game: by kidnapping a few humans and putting them through the artificially constructed wringer of panic and betrayal, they think they can create a human farm of such rich, complex and exciting emotions, all for themselves to enjoy at their own pleasure and fill the void they have.

(Listeners’ side note: If all that is the philosophy of the Watchers, it’s probably not difficult to see how/why the Listeners oppose them. The Listeners likely disagree that negative emotions are the most optimal state of humans, and unlike the Watchers do not think human suffering is just tasty popcorn one can eat at one’s pleasure. Their name – Listeners – implies they’re a more sympathetic faction, as in they listen to one’s troubles and heart rather than take delight in suffering at a superficial level. But if they are the same species, it’s very likely they have the same lack of instinctive understanding of human emotions that the Watchers do, and this could cause…problems.)

Why turn Grian?

All this is also why I believe the Watchers kidnapped Grian + turned him into a Watcher in the first place. Firstly, if they were going to concoct their plan to trap humans, they needed a collaborator from the humans in the first place. Secondly, and most importantly, this collaborator was going to be their only direct source of how human emotions work/feel like, and therefore what were the most optimal conditions needed to ensure their death game would generate the most pain and anguish. They picked Grian because he’s always the ‘leader’ of the SMP players, the person gathering and organizing everyone, so logically, he is the most ‘representative’ of the humans, and the one with the greatest ability to control them.

Of course, it’s also true that Grian was a little $#@% throughout EVO and actively rebelled against the Watchers’ tasks, so making him their collaborator might seem strange. Ignoring the meta reason that the ending was written to explain Grian’s exit from the series. But I figured in this case, they considered the benefits more than the costs. Grian’s chaotic nature is not unlike the Watchers’, considering how much he loves causing pranks and trouble to others. So, as a huge oversight, they think Grian is just like them: he loves to see people suffer, so they think. Additionally, the Watchers are desperate to understand how Grian gets his fellow humans to follow him and do what he asks with little effort. You’ll notice the Watchers have very direct, authoritative ways of trying to wrest control (e.g. the tasks, “do this or you fail”), and they get very petty and upset when people rebel against them (re: Scott’s refusal to be the Boogeyman, their motto is a very demanding “OUR WILL BE DONE.”) They see Grian’s charisma as yet another aspect of human emotions they fail to understand and thus WANT to possess for themselves.

Pictured above: The Watchers, coping and seething

Of course as we know, the Watchers believing Grian would help them is a major oversight. Becoming a god doesn’t just fundamentally change who Grian is, and he definitely doesn’t want to consign his friends to an infinite death loop of suffering. That being said, I don’t think Grianhas truly gone ‘rogue’ so much as taken as much advantage as possible of his ‘deal’ with the Watchers. We can guess the Watchers promised to him some kind of control/leadership over his friends’ circumstances as long as he worked for them, which led to them giving him the keys to the Life Series. In other words, so long as he fulfils their requirements of things being a death game that will generate ‘food’ for them, and lets them revive everyone each loop, he gets to decide how the games go.

And we know exactly what Grian’s done with this: he created the green-yellow-red lives system, he creates a fun gimmick each season, he inserts himself into the game as a player, all to bring out the best and most creative side of his friends rather than the worst. The Boogeyman probably is the only gimmick the Watchers added on their own initiative (re: Martyn’s POV in Last Life) in order to make things more spicy. Probably Grian’s conversation with the Watchers each time goes, “hey, I got an idea on how to bring out the most creative ways for everyone to cause pain in each other, [comes up with some bullcrap justification for the game’s fun mechanics].” I like to think the Watchers were going to make the death games even more vicious, cruel and competitive, but because of Grian’s wrangling he’s convinced them that a slow burn from joy to horror creates better results, and they tolerate it as long as they see him useful.

Memories and Emotions

There is also one BIG detail of the Watchers’ plan I’d like to mention: Martyn claims that the Watchers do NOT erase the players’ memories. At the end of each season, they consume everyone’s emotions so that there’s no more angst/ill will towards each other, and they start each season afresh. The players remember what’s happened in past seasons, but they don’t continue to hold the pain and negative feelings they had towards each other.

I don’t buy this, for numerous reasons.

For one, Martyn has confirmed the Watchers ARE capable of removing people’s memories. The one memory they have outright altered was the ex-EVO players’ (Martyn, Jimmy, BigB etc.) memory of what happened to Grian: they don’t remember that Grian was taken to be turned into a Watcher, and instead remember it as him either going missing or dying after the Ender Dragon fight. All this presumably to not give away the Watchers’ schemes and to ensure they still listen to Grian as if nothing ever happened.

More importantly, however, memories are vital to humanity’s emotional experience and mental health. I am not an expert by any means, but there are studies showing how people with amnesia, PTSD or other conditions affecting memories have flashbacks/emotional reactions to trauma they don’t remember consciously. The Watchers have (supposedly) done something far more simplistic yet fantastic by just eating up everybody’s emotions. All this, even though they see humans as emotion factories, constantly able to generate emotions just by existing, by their ability to draw and create meaning through emotional experiences, and by creating memories – the clearest embodiment of a mortal’s attachment to time (which if you remember, I believe the Watchers have no concept of).

You cannot just tell a human to stop feelingcompletely (under normal circumstances anyway), but especially not if they remember something very very traumatic.

Besides, there ARE clear instances when some of the players remember the events of past seasons and are STILL not over them! Impulse and Tango still being bitter/distrustful after Bdubs betrayed each of them separately, Cleo distrusting BigB for the same reason, Scott referencing Flower Husbands a lot, Pearl feeling betrayed by Cleo/Scott when they supposedly broke up the Gaslight/Gatekeep/Girlboss trio at the start of DL, Bdubs’ “I wanna be your favorite son” in Secret Life, the list goes on. Note that I’ve only listed negative/bittersweet instances; there are plenty more cases of the players remembering past seasons and alliances positively which the Watchers may have ignored. The point is, if the Watchers truly consumed everyone’s emotions to the point of a clean slate, they haven’t exactly been thorough. Nor do I think it’s very conducive for them either – don’t they want players to have enduring, unending, unresolved pain, the sweetest of all (to them)?

No, I think the Watchers HAVE been erasing/suppressing the players’ memories – they’ve just been very selective which ones. Martyn’s said that the Watchers do not care what families or connections they separate so long as they get the people they want and the plans they want. I’m going to assume the players in my theory/the Eyes and Ears AU are exactly the same as their CC counterparts. In other words: they’ve stolen Grian away from his wife. They stole Martyn away from his and his daughter. Ditto with Skizz, Impulse, Tango etc. They stole Scar away from his family. Joel and Lizzie are the only couple they didn’t separate, perhaps because they needed both for their plans, and also so they can inflict the most torture on them by ripping them away from each other, over and over again. And in order to ensure the complete submissiveness of the players to the game, the Watchers have taken away their memories of their past lives, their families, basically anyone who isn’t a fellow player in the game. The Watchers don’t erase the memories of bonds between seasons, because it’s a pain to have to teach the humans how to play all over again, but they erase any memories they find disadvantageous to keeping the game running.

They might even go one step further: while they haven’t erased the players’ memories of who each other are (so as to not cause confusion), they do try to suppress important memories. Things like how they met, the times they confided in each other after a bad day, cried on each other’s shoulder, laughed in each other’s successes, the times they hung out with each other’s families. Imagine the different alliances constantly gravitating to each other, but never being able to remember why they care about each other so much. Imagine Bdubs’ “Come on, you know you and I go way back!” when trying to justify taking Cleo’s stuff, and Cleo laughs back, even though she can’t quite remember what exactly Bdubs has done to warrant that. Imagine Joel or Lizzie trying to remember why they loved each other so much.

They fight and kill some of their friends, and protect others, because…because why again? It’s for survival value, surely, so the Watchers whisper. It’s because the strong must congregate with the strong and leave the weak to die, surely. It’s because Martyn’s always been a loner, and always will be, and should remain so. So they tell him. So they whisper, this is a deathmatch for a reason.

Grian’s Fundamental Rebellion

I think all this is the real reason Grian is rebelling against the Watchers. The most immediate reason is obvious: he wants to free his friends from this death loop. But the deeper reason as to why he’s rebelled is that the Watchers are torturing and robbing his friends of their humanity. They’re taking a tight-knit group of friends who love and would do anything for each other, and turning them against each other in a cruel and unescapable death game. On TOP of this, the Watchers have constantly messed with their heads in order to make them obedient and submissive to their schemes and the worst of their human nature, trapping them in fear, pettiness and paranoia. Of course Grian is upset. Of course he wants to save them from this fate. It’s an insult to who he knows these people to be.

This all leaves Grian in a pretty precarious position. While outwardly the Watchers want to make him a lackey as the “game master”, both he and they know he really wants to save his friends (they probably see it as their ‘cattle’ showing a bit of resistance, which once again they need to suppress). And while on one hand he’s making the games fun to ease his friends’ pain and bring the best out of them, this is just a hotfix rather than a real solution. In order to really rescue the players, Grian’s got to get them to rebel against the Watchers as well. Refuse to play by the rules, by the expectation that they must murder and kill without mercy, without any attachment to their alliances or past friendships. Make everyone like Scott refusing to be the Boogeyman, or Skizz constantly trying to be wholesome (until the bloodlust gets the better of him anyway).

Ironically in order to achieve this, Grian’s best bet is to try to jog everyone’s lost memories of each other and the things they lost, both good and bad. But ultimately, this is going to make them (in the short term) suffer more. This is where you can insert all your Desert Duo/Flower Husband/whatever alliance you like most angst. But more practically, I like to imagine when “the cameras” are not watching, when Grian knows no one will notice or catch him, he sneaks around to the different alliances, even the ones he’s not part of, to ask them how they’re doing, if they remember anything from the past etc. (in a meta sense, the players edit and cut stuff from their videos all the time; who’s to say he isn’t trying to catch a quick chat while everyone’s mining?!) It also reflects in why Grian is constantly trying to make alliances with different people instead of just gravitate to one person, he needs to check on everyone and capitalize on every single opportunity. (besides the meta reason, being that cc!Grian wants to be creative, and sticking to the same person all the time isn’t very entertaining from a content creator perspective)

One last detail about the winners: I don’t have much to say about the fragments yet, because Martyn (sneaky boi) hasn’t yet revealed the significance of the fragments nor of their healing, although he has hinted Bad Things™ will happen if a player gets too fragmented. But I do think the winners are important: with the game finished, they give Grian a very short window of time to talk to one person directly, without Watcher interference. They’re always the last to be killed/swept away/revived by the Watchers, and I can imagine there’s a brief period of time when their souls are being transferred to The Void w/e where Grian can step in and interfere. In my theory, Grian passes on some sort of clue/push to the winners, as like a subtle message about what they can do to stand up to the Watchers. I’ll detail on what I think these individual messages were in part 2. Needless to say, 3rd Life was a traumatic experience for Grian for many reasons, but the nail in the coffin was the fact that he won, and therefore there was no way for him to pass a message onto anyone.

Conclusion

Hooooooo jeepers that was long @A@; Thank you so much for your patience reading this if you made it to the end, I really appreciate it. As I said, I’ve had these lore ideas bouncing in my head for a LONG time, and with the end of Secret Life I couldn’t get out of my head the different trends/symbolism that was popping out of an improv series. It honestly speaks a lot to how genius our favorite block dudes are at improv, that they can turn their improv nonsense into a coherent narrative. I really wanted to try my hand at fleshing out such a narrative, and with Martyn constantly drip-feeding lore to the fans, I had more than enough material to not just put out guesses but construct something a full XYZ. As I mentioned, I enjoy workshopping themes and characters a LOT more than just worldbuilding or “what if this or that” details in a vacuum, hence why I’ve written all that I have, so this was a fun exercise for me all around!

Next time in part 2 I talk about Character Development™, or character specific notes and details I’ve noticed and extrapolated from what we’ve seen of each individual player, as well as what their different arcs across the seasons mean for them within the lore. Stay tuned for another wordbarf!

Bonus list of works I was inspired by for this loredump:

Log Horizon

The Promised Neverland

Danganronpa (ironic as I’m not really a fan of this franchise, but the first game has an otherwise solid premise which I found really similar to the Life Series)

The Fate franchise (when Martyn asked “what’s Fate?” on the latest lore stream, let me tell you I couldn’t stop laughing; NO MARTYN DON’T GO INTO THE WEEB RABBIT HOLE)

Various amazing animatics from the Traffic fandom: Earth, Bang!, most of Melloz Heist’s works, and of course all the amazing fanart

Way too many conversations with my friends about fantasy species

[atomic--peach]

Imagine trashing a construction site and getting caught by Prince Nuada, who finds you both impressive and confusing .

 Possible multi parter?

You didn’t know exactly what time it was or how long you had been chained to a tree, half exhausted and half starving. The work crew had left around dusk, leaving their bulldozers and two rent-a-cops guarding you after deciding that they didn’t get paid enough to deal with an angry hippie chaining herself to a tree and refusing to move.

In all honestly, this wasn’t exactly what you had planned. But the workers had decided to start a day early, throwing you off your game until you impulsively chained yourself to the thick trunk of the ancient oak tree and prepared yourself for a game of chicken.

It seemed you had won, at least for the moment. But since the guards had confiscated your back pack, all you could do now was wait until morning.

Half dozing, your ear perked up at the sound of movement in the darkness surrounding you. Not an animal, footsteps.

“Who’s there?” You called, throat dry and cracking from dehydration. “I told you I’m not leaving. I can do this all night.”

There was no response, but you could feel a pair of eyes on you.

You drew yourself up, spine popping as you did.

“I know you’re there.”

There was a moment of silence before the figure drew closer, a faint outline now visible in the dark.

“Do you intend to stay here all night?”

It was a man, but his voice was strange. No New York thickness to it, in fact you couldn’t place it at all.

“Yep” You grunted plainly.

“Why?”

You blinked, struck by the question. It wasn’t often you were asked why you did these things, only what you wanted.

“Because it would be wrong to destroy these trees” You insisted, “It’s wrong and I won’t stand for it. You’ve destroyed most of the forests in the state, why can’t you leave this one be?”

“I’m not doing anything” the voice didn’t sound offend, it was almost amused by your anger.

“Oh let me guess” you scoffed. “you’re just doing your job, huh?”

The figure drew closer. “No, I’m not with the humans at all, but I’m curious what you plan to do next ”

“Well, I had a back pack with a bunch of stuff in it to...wait what?”

“What?”

“What does that mean?”

“What?”

“That you’re not with the humans?”

There was a moment of silence before the figure shifted, closer now. He seemed to be examining the chain you had strapped around your torso.

“I can get your backpack, but what are you going to do?”

You decided to ignore the subject change and instead swallowed and wiggled a little. “I was doing to vandalize the bulldozer, slash tires, sawdust in the fuel tank, you know.”

“That will only stop them a short while”

“Long enough to come up with a better plan.” You shot back, “So will you help me or not?”

He hummed, thinking a moment before nodding. “Alright, But you’ll need to get down first”

“Right” you nodded, reaching into your bra to retrieve the key to the pad lock on your stomach and grunted with relief when the pressure of the chains dropped to the base of the tree.

“Now where are the guards?”

“They’re at the metal gate that blocks off the area, I think if we’re quiet maybe we can...”

“You stay here, I’ll only be a minute”

He was gone before you could protest, and back before you could think of a good argument, your heavy back pack over one shoulder. He dropped it on the ground and you unzipped the largest pocket. Everything was still there, including the large metal flashlight on top.

“Okay” you smiled a little, flicking on the light. “Let’s get to work, now I’ll...” You looked up faster than the man could dodge and you froze at the sight of him in the yellow beam.

White as chalk, with silvery hair and golden eyes.

So that’s what he meant.

“Who are you?” you whispered softy. He had turned away from you for a moment, but with a sigh turned back and stared you down, his eyes daring you to say something smart.

“It doesn’t matter”

“It does to me.”

He frowned. “My name is Prince Nuada, Silverlance....”

You blinked a moment, completely blind sided.

When it became clear that you weren’t going to move before he did, he sighed and grabbed your bag, examining it himself before pulling out a large can of hairspray and a lighter.

“What...?”

“It’s for if things get really messy...” you took the can from him. “Really messy”

You shoved it back into the back and instead pulled out a small hatchet, a gallon bag of kitty litter, a can of black spray paint, and a set of black gloves.

“How many times have you done this?” Nuada asked as you pulled on the gloves and tied back your hair tightly.

“Five”

“How many times have you gotten caught?”

You stood up, the spray paint can and the plastic bag in one hand and the hatchet in the other. You handed him the hatchet slowly.

“I’ll get the windows and gas tanks, you slash the tires”

Nuada eyed the hatch, a small smirk forming on his face as he brushed it aside and, from his back, retrieved a short handle spear that seemed impossibly sharp even in the darkness.

“I have my own, thanks.”

You nodded.

“You know, I don’t think I’ve ever met a human like you.” He noted and you side eyed him.

“Well, with all due respect. I don’t think I’ve ever met anyone like you period.”

Nuada nodded.

You worked quickly, keeping a constant watch for the guards who could show up at any time. You blacked out the windows and gauges on the machinery and funneled debris into the gas tanks, while around you there was a steady chorus of deflating tires. 

“Alright” You breathed, “I think that’s all of them.” You turned, trying to find him in the dark but he had vanished. 

Shining your flashlight around you sighed and nodded. “Thanks again, whoever you are.”

You had to go, knowing the crew would be coming early, and it was already past midnight. You jogged towards the fence and climbed over, all the while wondering what exactly just happened. 

[blogger-yura]

Entry #58 Sep 15th '24

#YurasLife #DailyYura #SummerMemories #LoveTales

𝐃𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐲 𝐘𝐮𝐫𝐚- A special day

Hello hello hello to everyone!!! Exciting news, everybody! Oh my godddd σ(≧ω≦*)

As many of you guys know, I've been dating this amazing human being that my boyfriend is for two years now! It's been a whole ride, of the best kind, but still a ride. So many memories, so many new things, learning and growing and adapting... He's been with me throughout some messy times, walking beside me every step of the new ways I took. Encouraging me and being such an amazing support for me... He's had his times, too, and I might not have been as amazing as he was, but I know I've tried my best to give back every bit of energy and love and care he's given me and continues to do so.

And man, oh man, am I excited, thrilled, delighted to announce...

[𝐖𝐞'𝐫𝐞 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐦𝐚𝐫𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐝!]

ஓ๑♡๑ஓ

𝐘𝐨𝐮 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐥𝐨𝐨𝐤 𝐚𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞

𝓵𝓸𝓿𝓮 𝓸𝓯 𝔂𝓸𝓾𝓻 𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓮

𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐢𝐞𝐯𝐞 𝐢𝐧

𝓶𝓲𝓻𝓪𝓬𝓵𝓮𝓼.

Ah!!! I don't even know what to make of this post! I'm just so over the moon! He planned a whole trip, took me to a beautiful island for our anniversary, took care of every detail to make it perfect- God, he even forgot his speech and it was still incredible just as he is. I'm still a bit shocked and dumbfounded by it all, but am I SO thrilled for what's to come!

I think we all dream at some point about the love of our lives, our perfect half. We dream of who they'll be, how they'll be. We dream of their looks, and their personality, and what we want them to exist as. We make up this imaginary person that's just perfect for us, and even if eventually we kind of grow up to understand we'll never meet someone like our dream person, that this person doesn't exist! We still tend to compare our parters to them. Have them up to this made-up standard... That is, of course, until you meet someone WAY better than you could've ever imagined.

And god, isn't it just so perfect?

When I met San, I think it was knowing right away and deep down. I knew right away that whatever I had dreamed of my whole life and thought I wanted wasn't really what I craved and deserved. It was clicking right away and realizing that all my life, I had been looking for something, searching for someone who wasn't what I needed. Knowing deep down that it was him and no one else, ever.

And here we are, whatever time later, one carrot cake, countless chocolate ones, millions of cupcakes, and all the horror movies in the world later... And I wouldn't wish to be anywhere else but beside him.

🌼: @clubwnderland [💍💙] @moonlightchn @kimheebby @nana-n-nono @coffeexdreamcb @silcntxnight @livealittleoc-cb @minsour-r @multi-esme @urtwice @san-cb @reve-rv @oppositesattraxt @lunaaofthemoon @badbf-cb @domxbot @the-hellhounds @monsterhigh-cb @theinvitation-bot @welcometosector1 @multi-joong @vanilladaises-rp @beastfights-starting @redlight-cb @yourmysticalgirls-cb @hybridsheltercb @kardpackcb @beaconhillsxbot @yandereyeri @glamrockpop-cb @angelsxdemons-cb @shin-haneul @fallenangels-cb @inferno-cb

gotta redo this taglist eventually aye

[ellecdc]

Hi love 🤗

Firstly, you're amazing. Im in love with AMWAP, make her a little volatile and i am reader. And if i think too hard on CBBH i might start crying.

But i have a request/idea for Remus x reader if it sparks your imagination 🩵

Reader is Reggies twin, Sirius has just been disowned and over that summer reader is bitten by one of the werewolves Voldy has recruited (i figure they'd probs be around all the death eater's). A secret between the twins to keep reader safe, not even Siri is told. Rem & reader both know theres another wolf at hogwarts but cant figure out who because the twins apparate to a secluded cabin for her transormations. Siri puts the pieces together and panics because Walburga would kill reader and........ my thoughts stop their, so whatever plot you like!!

I feel that Rem would be so soft with Siri's siblings so even if it was Wolfstar and they basically adopt the twins as their own (lets be honest, siri has probs raised them up to this point anyway)

Thank you love, remember to rest and rehydrate 🥰

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm interestinggggg I like I like…..

What do we all think? This feels like it would need to be more than a one-shot….

So I have two questions:

1) do you want a one-shot or a multi-parter?

2) is it Wolfstar + the twins or is the love interest reader + rem?

Comment your votes so I have them all in the same place 🫶

[toskarin]

Both Muramasa and Hanachirasu are on JAST sale right now, would you recommend Hanachirasu to someone who has already played FMDM? And how does it compare in terms of the heavy CW stuff in FMDM?

Hanachirasu is a high recommend just for being a really well-paced sword drama with good fights and fun music. it has a noticeably lower production value (doing things like laying out fight scene cgs as comic panels to get around only being able to afford one or two cgs per fight), but that's a charm point. it feels like a low-budget action movie in a way I found compelling

it's got a lot of the same warnings as Muramasa, but since you've already been through it, I'll say it's not nearly as graphic as Muramasa. I wouldn't necessarily recommend it that way to someone who hasn't read Muramasa, since it's still got some pretty upsetting stuff in it

if Muramasa is a multi-season anime, you can kind of imagine Hanachirasu as a two-parter samurai movie. it's entirely linear and I personally finished it in three sittings (probably could have done two if I didn't have anything else on the agenda)

[writinggraveyard]

♰{ ✷ Navigation ✷ }♰

♰ A B O U T ♰ ✦ Multi-fandom personal writing space and a place where my current hyperfixations come to rest. All works are fan made and not meant to be taken seriously. I write for whatever show, movie, or other source of media I am currently into. I'm a slow writer and creater, please bare with me. ✧

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✧ Dividers/ Banners By ; @ cafekitsune , @ starzyyy1

★ Request Rules { requests closed }

☞do not's

Please do not send requests for characters or fandoms that are not listed in the Collection masterlist. I might know or be a part of that fandom, or like that character , but, unless I have posted or have it listed in the Collection, I will not write for them. { if asked, i might consider it }

✧⌈♰⌋✧

I do not write for OCs. Having said that, keep the description for the reader brief, giving key personalities traits is fine but please do not go all out giving indepth lore and character analysis over how you want me to write the reader. { it crosses too close to just writing an OC }

✧⌈♰⌋✧

I will not write anything depiciting underage characters

☞do's

please give a clear prompt or thesis on what you wish the story to be. If not than I will take creative liberties to write the story how I feel fit.

✧⌈♰⌋✧

please be patient, it may take me a while to get to a request, however, rest assure I shall get to it

✧⌈♰⌋✧

please state if what you want is a; oneshot, headcanon, imagine, or drabble. I might be inspired by an idea enough to turn it into a two parter or a small series, but that is all dependent on how I feel.

✧⌈♰⌋✧

please state if you do not wish any smut, fluff, or angst in your request. otherwise, based off of what the request was, I will keep it strictly to that and not add any other to it. So if you wish for smut/fluff/angst incorporated into your request, please state so.

✧⌈♰⌋✧

kinks, dark prompts, and odd ideas welcomed.

[monster-ronpa]

Can I have DRV3 boys with a dullahan S/O who tried to hide the fact they can take off their head but one day they trip or someone slaps the back of their head too hard and it falls off and they have to explain? I hope this wasn't too confusing to read or anything

I get whatcha mean, anon!

This is a pretty creative request, I think. I like it!

By the way, I know I have at least one other two-parter request I need to finish–I’ll try getting to it, so sorry for the wait!

Also I updated the character limit rule so- hopefully it makes more sense now.

~Mod Rachnera

Detachable Head? That’s Unheard Of–Oh, Dear. (V3 Boys with a Dullahan!S/O who…gets found out as a Dullahan! Part 1)

Shuichi Saihara

Shuichi actually picked up subtle hints along the way that you were probably not human.

He is the Ultimate Detective, after all, but he couldn’t say anything without absolute proof.

It wasn’t like he wasn’t trusting of you or was upset if you were lying about your origins, he was just kind of curious as to why you’d hide it from him of all people.

But, his questions were answered on accident one day. You had come to visit him in his dorm, as usual, and the two of you took a walk around the areas around Hope’s Peak, not paying any mind to Kaito and some of his other friends that were playing ball nearby. It was peaceful, until–

WHAM!

The ball came flying into your head and knocked it straight off! Both Kaito, who had thrown it, and Shuichi, who had seen it, both let out exclaims of shock, as did the others joining Kaito in his ball game.

After the shock had passed over, your body scrambled to get your head, which made Kaito nearly go into cardiac arrest it seems, and you screwed it back on tightly with a blank but sweaty expression.

“….s…so, you’re a Dullahan, are you?” “….p–pay no mind to that little incident, fiend. It was simply an illusion I cast to serve as a distraction while I gained my balance.”

You were definitely lying, seeing as you avoided eye contact with him, before he asked again: “….uhm, y-you didn’t have to hide it from me, you know.” “….I-I was afraid you wouldn’t date me if I didn’t.”

Shuichi reassured you afterwards that he’d love you no matter what–and after Kaito recovered from one of the most horrifying scares of his life, you two continued to relax.

Rantaro Amami

Rantaro and you met on your travels and hit it off pretty splendidly. 

Granted, it was after you scared him while he was in a store as you appeared behind one of the empty shelves, but you apologized for that and offered to buy him something that he spilled due to your mostly unintentional jumpscare.

The two of you actually ended up traveling around together due to you being familiar with this territory and it went from there.

Though, he did have a bit of a suspicion about you.

You always wore these bandages or something around your neck, and it looked rather tight as well.

Also, somehow, he got the feeling that the black sclera you were rocking wasn’t part of contacts. I mean, he could be wrong about that, and maybe the neck thing was from an injury, too.

But then you accidentally hit your head really hard on a tree branch while you two were going hiking together, and apparently it was so hard your..

head fell off?

Your body froze, and Rantaro couldn’t process what was going on until afterwards.

But judging by the flames coming from where your neck usually is and the fact your body didn’t go limp and even seemed to be looking for your head in a small panic, you weren’t dead.

“…ah, so you’re a monster, huh?” he says casually as he picks your head up again, seeing you avoid eye contact with him as you stuttered.

“…is that okay, mortal? You aren’t deterred by my dark origins?” “Not at all. There’s a lot of nice monsters out there, you’re one of the best for sure.”

Kokichi Ouma

Something about you was so intriguing to him, but he had no idea what. The reason for his intrigue was probably his intuition.

And his intuition was telling him you were hiding something.

Being Kokichi, of course he had to try and figure out what that something was. His mind would not rest until he found out what it was.

So, he had a plan. That totally failed as you were walking in on him as he was planning it.

Although you tripped on something in the room and fell hard. Hard enough that you knocked your head off and into his lap!

Kokichi stared, and he was about to freak out before realizing. Firstly, your body was still moving and got up after tripping which was definitely weird...second, your head was apologizing and asking him frantically not to look.

“....ohhhhhhh....you’re totally a Dullahan, aren’t you?” he smiled as he tossed your head gently, which, honestly. It made sense. You gave off this weird aura of otherworldly charm.

It was like Gundham but his whole “dark lord” shtick was actually him.

“Don’t worry, S/O~ this is super cool, honestly!” he bumped noses with you as you looked away.

“...you...don’t think it’s repulsive, human?” “Oh, no, it’s weird, but it’s weird that I love~! Does that make sense? You don’t disgust me, you intrigue me, really~”

Kokichi grinned, “Plus, imagine the pranks and chaos we could cause now that your secret’s out~!”

You seemed to like that idea.

Kaito Momota

Kaito didn’t really seem to suspect a thing. Which, I mean, that was no problem for you.

He seemed to assume that you were just a really enthusiastic chuunibyou much like Gundham. Which was half true, you and Gundham got along near splendidly because of your similarities.

But nothing that anyone seemed to question like your constant wearing of “contacts” or how genuine your otherworldly weapons were seemed to give him a hint that you might not be human.

You intended for it to stay that way though. Seeing as he got immediately scared at the mere mention of something paranormal, and your species was..

Well, you acted paranormal a lot, he’d definitely be scared of you, you thought.

Things were great, til he gave you a bit too enthusiastic of an affectionate slap that just happened to hit the back of your neck.

POP!

Off came your head, rolling onto the ground as your body stumbled.

Almost instantly, everyone in the room let out some kind of concerned noise and Kaito just straight up screamed. Then you swore his soul flew from his body as your head looked up at him, still talking and conscious.

As things calmed down and Kaito was in the nurse’s office from nearly fainting, he looked at you with a pale face.

“....s-so...Dullahan, huh? I mean--t-there’s no way you couldn’t be if your head came off but..”

You nod, reluctantly looking at him, “....are you okay with this?”

He scratched his head, sighing a bit shakily still. He was trembling just a bit, “...w-well, I mean, it’s nothing to hate you over. I’ll just...need to get used to it, I guess.”

[thistle-and-thorn]

End of Year Fic Review

hi hi hi thank you for tagging @charmtion and @winterrose527 and @chispas-and-broken-bindings

what's your ao3 account?

thistleandthorn

2. how many words did you write in total in 2022?

174,284 (although I have stuff in my drafts that would bump my number up significantly)

3. how many fics did you publish in 2022 // multi-chapter vs. one-shots?

I published 6 new fics; all of which were multi chapter…though midnights was thirteen one-shots with the same pairing but all very different. So I don’t know how to count that?! Anywhere between 6-19 😂😂

4. what was your longest-fic // shortest fic?

My longest fic and I actually can’t believe this is…echo…my toxic lesbian dubcon fic at over 23,000 words. It’s only two chapters lolol. I have a lot, and I mean a lot, of feelings about lesbian pirates. My shortest is the whole world shimmers which is a fic that holds my whole heart. It’s also a two parter and really (uncharacteristically?) romantic and just basically two love letters folded up and put inside of the two characters who have become the playthings for all my emotions.

5. what was your most popular // least popular?

By kudos? crows + locusts (famine-apocalypse-sad marriage fic) and float (more toxic lesbian dubcon pirates) are tied for last place. These are not surprising to me!

6. what fic didn't perform as well as you thought it would?

The fic that performed the most strangely is the many crushed red flowers. I’ve talked about this before but the fluctuation in subs on that fic is deeply entertaining to me. I think, generally, though—though there’s some new faces and talents and so much good content being made this year…Sanrion, which is the main ship that I produce content for, is just getting smaller? I notice, overall, that people aren’t as active as they used to be! And that’s more than okay but I have had to adjust my expectations for what is realistic in engagement, especially for fics that are really focused on the relationship itself and don’t have a bigger plot and wider appeal to people who aren’t interested primarily in the ship?

7. what fic performed way better than you thought it would?

Oh! I’m always surprised by how my fic does. Any fic that I plan out and think will be popular bombs and any fic that I write at 2am while eating chips and wine and crying does really well. I was surprised that midnights had a small but mighty group of consistent commenters that stuck with it…daily…for two weeks. And I’m always surprised by the continued interest in some long-time, slow to update WIPs like from eden or the ice maiden series.

8. what was your favorite fic you wrote in 2022?

Are you???? Asking???? Me???? To???? Choose???? Between??? My??? Children????

9. what was your favorite fic that somebody else wrote in 2022?

oh!!! So many!! Too many!! Is this insanely selfish to say…but I got three really lovely gifts this year and they were my favorite 🥸

charm wrote me a really lovely gift (TW because you’ll become obsessed) called this year which is precious to me and is just everything that is best about her writing and and imagination and made me scream in the grocery store when I got the notification and I’m very possessive over it. (It’s all about the *dichotomy of their dynamic!!!!*) and then Attonitos wrote me two gifts!!! and I very much love them. One is called in the gold room where everyone finally gets what they want (TW for kink and sexual content) and it’s a very moving exploration of sexuality and it made me cry and get horny and everyone in the whole world should read it. And then the oceans fic…which also made me cry (TW for suicide and suicidal ideation) and I love it.

I don’t read and comment on as much fic as I used to?!?! I don’t have the time anymore, frankly, and so I have a TBR and a to be commented list the length of my arm. Ask me again in 2023 when I’ve caught up 😂

10. tag your friends so they can play as well!

Omg tagging makes me so anxious okay okay okay: @attonitos-gloria @coffeeandorange @queen0fthenorth @st-clements-steps

*dies from shyness with tagging being my last act upon this earth*

[otomes-and-tears]

Hi!!! I hope you're doing well!!! If it's alright with you, do you mind writing a one shot with Nevra's reaction where it turns out that Guardienne had been pregnant with his kid the whole time they were in the crystal? Like either she just found out and went to tell him because she felt it was only right, or he finds out by overhearing her talking to Ewe about being too scared to tell Nev? I saw a post a long while back where someone was like "could you imagine if Erika had been pregnant with Nevra, Ezarel, or Valkyon's kid while they were in the crystal" and my heart just broke 😔. Especially since Nevra and Erika have this whole "I literally feel like I took a nap, wdym u moved on" vs "i slept around to try and move on for the past 7 years but you're alive and now I'm in emotional shambles (but I love you still)" issue 😭

♦ an unsung melody (is mine for safekeeping) ♦

► tags/warnings: pregnancy, past character death.

► words: 1728

► a/n: Anon, I want you to know that the second I got this request, I screenshotted it and sent it to my friends because I was so excited to write about it.

We ended up brainstorming together, so this was particularly fun to write. I’m SO GLAD someone asked me to write smth about it. I just… Have THOUGHTS about this and the concept is so interesting to me I just… I needed to write it.

Before we get started, I do have a couple of disclaimers here:

First, while I did some research about pregnancy I have never been pregnant nor am I a doctor. Keep in mind that this is fanfiction and we’re talking about a half-aengel half-human hybrid who got stuck inside a magical crystal for seven years and didn’t age a day except for her hair getting longer and her vampire partner who kind of looks like Zuko.

So, if you’re looking for realistic representations of anything pregnancy then… You’re in the wrong place, buddy.

Second, This story takes place after the events of chapter 6 of A new era. Episodes 7 and 8 aren't canon in this universe.

And thirdly, this is going to be a multi-parter!

That's all the warnings i have to give out, i believe. I hope you enjoy it!

► Masterlist

I.

Erika’s life has been a mess lately.

That might as well be an understatement of the century. Between fighting murderous dragons to being trapped in a Crystal for seven years, there is a point in time where she started getting desensitized to all the weird things that happened in her life.

She could read familiar’s thoughts? That’s fine.

She was connected to Leiftan and was able to feel his emotions? Weirder things have happened.

The barrier between Earth and Eldarya was disappearing and the two worlds were quickly becoming one? This one was admittedly hard to swallow, but she didn’t find herself too surprised at the notion.

But then again, even with all the chaos, drama and strangeness that she seemed to attract, none of it prepared her for that moment:

‘‘You’re pregnant.’’

Ewelein said, bluntly. Erika was taken aback for a second, trying to process the words that came out of the nurse’s mouth and what it would mean to her.

She felt a weird sort of detachment from the announcement. It’s not like it was something she suspected, nor it was something she even thought possible at all. When she came to the infirmary after the Genkaku mission, all she expected from her obligatory check-up was a remark about how she didn’t come back hurt for once and to be congratulated by the return of her powers. Maybe be chided for not having enough iron in her system. But pregnancy? That was the last thing she ever expected to hear.

‘‘Excuse me, what?’’ Erika stared back at the nurse, eyes widening in horror. ‘‘How is that even possible? I know it’s annoying to mention it at this point, but you are aware that I was in a coma for seven years, right? I’ve only been awake for… What? Two months at this point? I’m not even used to having a body again. I haven’t been sleeping around much.’’

‘‘That’s why I asked for another blood sample. I thought it might’ve been an error, but all results came out positive. You are pregnant.’’

Ewelein held out the exams and mechanically explained how the exam worked. Erika wasn’t able to properly focus on her words, but she had the faint impression that Ewelein was doing it more for herself than for Erika’s sake, anyway.

‘‘There’s no way around it. Haven’t you been feeling symptoms? anything at all?’’

Erika thought about it well.

She hadn’t had her period since she woke up, but like a lot of other weird things she had been feeling lately, Erika chalked it up to being trapped inside of the Crystal for so long.

She didn’t have any use for her legs inside of the crystal, so she had to get used to walking again. She didn’t have to eat, so it took a while before she got used to the feeling of hunger and the sensation of eating.

Her body was in stasis, so when she regained function and started, you know, living again she figured that it would take some time before her reproductive organs started working like normal again. They were not a priority, after all, not when she was under the assumption that she wasn’t carrying a child.

The nausea she started feeling recently? She rationalised it as being the result of seasickness and grief.

After the initial shock and denial at Edgard’s sudden and brutal death, Erika felt as if she had experienced the whole spectre of human emotions in the span of a single, painfully long day.

By the end of the boat journey, she was exhausted. Both physically, due to the strain that the overuse of her powers caused and psychological, due to the emotional rollercoaster she was put through.

A little nausea was to be expected, right?

It only now hit her that she went through quite a couple of fights while carrying a child, was hit and overused her powers. The fact that they were still alive astounded her.

‘‘You haven’t answered my question.’’

‘‘So, when two people like each other very much, they—’’

‘‘I know where babies come from, clearly. I just mean, how is that possible when the last time I’ve been with someone was so long ago?’’

‘‘We did discuss what might’ve happened to your body when you were trapped, didn’t we? I think that your pregnancy confirms that your body was in a state of stasis during the whole time you were there. The second you got out, all the normal functions went back to what they used to be the second you made the sacrifice… But… that’s just a hypothesis. We can’t really erase the possibility of this being--’’

‘‘The Crystal?’’

The thought horrified her.

If having to deal with this being thrown in her face wasn’t bad enough, there was the possibility of it not being the result of a passionate goodbye between lovers, but the result of the Crystal meddling with her life, again.

It seemed strange, even for her already unbelievable circumstances, but considering everything that she went through, she couldn’t exactly discard that theory.

Ewelein, who was bound by duty and still kept herself professional despite the absurdity of the situation, ran through all the options that Erika had at her disposal at the moment.

She was kind and gentle when explaining to Erika what to expect from her pregnancy, and held her hand during the entire explanation, as a way to show comfort. She offered to bring to her a book on the subject, and deliver it to her bedroom discreetly, which was promptly accepted, and assured her that she wouldn’t tell anyone, not even Huang Hua until Erika had calmed down and made her decision.

As a friend, she suggested that it might be a good idea for Erika to contact the father (and even offered to do it on her behalf if necessary) which was declined.

As much as Erika was dreading the conversation that they would have, she knew that she needed to tell Nevra herself.

But how could she even begin to explain what happened to him when only recently he started warming up to her again?

Nevra would never be cruel enough to completely abandon them, and Erika just knew that he would be doting and kind to their child, as he was with all those within his care. But, at the same time, she was afraid of being faced with rejection. It’s not like she could demand a relationship after so long, and forcing it on him using their child as an excuse just seemed downright evil.

She couldn’t sacrifice his freedom like this.

That’s why, in a moment of pure desperation, Erika chose to ignore her plight and avoid him as much as she possibly could.

It tore her up inside, but what else was she supposed to do?

Yeah, she could sense all the disappointed looks that Ewelein shot her, but true to her word, she didn’t say a word. Not when she delivered the book to Erika’s room that night, not a week later when Erika visited the infirmary after being accidentally cut by Mathieu’s sword during fighting lessons and not two weeks later when they went to the beach on Ewelein’s day off.

She diligently scheduled Erika’s next visit, and Erika knew that she couldn’t exactly pretend like nothing was happening anymore.

‘‘At least you have been eating well.’’

Ewelein read through her exam results. Nodding in approval. While she hadn’t said anything directly, she had sent Karuto a detailed list of foods that Erika should consume and avoid, and increased her portions. Eating has been difficult since she woke up, as she couldn’t even stomach certain foods without feeling sick, but it got easier after they were able to narrow down her menu to things that she could tolerate.

The downside is that now Erika was sure that Karuto knew, or at least suspected that something was up. He never said anything, though, which Erika was incredibly grateful for.

‘‘But you know that stress isn’t good for you, right? I mean, in general.’’

‘‘Ewelein, sweetheart, when have I not been stressed?’’

She smiled, though the attempt at a joke wasn’t well-received.

‘‘I’m serious. If you intend on keeping this baby you need to start taking care of yourself. That means sleeping normal hours, eating well, not getting in danger and not getting stressed out.’’

As much as she wanted to argue, she knew perfectly well that Ewelein was right and that she was trying to look out for her, and that’s exactly why it was so frustrating.

It was easy to ask Erika to sleep normal hours or to not be stressed, but every single time Erika closed her eyes she found herself thinking about how Edgard’s throat had been slit. About his blood tinting the snow red.

She found herself wondering if that could be her, in the near future.

Would she be lucky enough to come back, if she were to die again? If she did, would her baby come back too?

She found herself longing for Nevra and his comforting words, then remembering how quick he was to act coldly towards her when she awoke.

He was being nice now, but would he revert back to his coldness once she told him about their child? Would he hate her? Would he send her away? Would he call her a liar? Would he—

She was hyperventilating.

She felt someone gently, but firmly, hold her hand and lead them away from her hair. She noticed, distantly, pain on her scalp.

She must’ve been pulling on it again.

Ewelein told her to take deep breaths, so she did until she calmed herself enough to fully get back to the present time.

She had been spacing out a lot more than she used to, but it probably wasn’t another pregnancy symptom.

Erika stayed in the infirmary for way longer than she expected to once she left for her check-up. Ewelein apologises for pushing her and gives advice, but Erika couldn’t for the life of her remember what it was.

The only thing in her mind was the sudden, concrete realisation that there would be no escaping from her fate:

She would have to tell him, no matter how much it terrified her.

If not for herself, for the sake of her child.

[zukump3]

fixated ✰ s. aizawa

aizawa takes interest after you, but he doesn’t really know how to go about it.

genre: fluff, some smut in the second part! fem!reader

warnings: two parter!! aizawa has a CRUSHHHH, he pins after you heavily, counselor!reader. zawa used to have a thing with ms joke, black!reader

a/n: this idea was super cute so i had to write it. i hope you guys like it!!

requested: yes!!

part 2 (coming soon)

Aizawa has never been one for dating. Honestly, he couldn’t even remember the last time he had a relationship.

Back in high school, when he sat in the very desks his students sat in, he was often teased at by Mic about getting a partner. The hero tried to set him up on dates, give random people his number and all types of other methods, but Aizawa was just never interested. No one really caught his attention that way... until Fukukado came along.

She was everything he despised. She was loud, she talked too much, and she never took anything serious. But somehow she made her way into his cold heart and he indulged in her.

He enjoyed his time with her. Underneath all that goofiness she was a sweet woman who cared deeply for her job and her students. Aizawa felt emotions he had never felt with her, and was a bit peeved when they split. However, they remained friends. Since then, he hasn’t bothered dating with anyone.

“Have you seen the new counselor?!” Aizawa opened one eye to see Kaminari and Sero gushing as they entered the class. “She’s sooo hot. And she’s foreign!”

“Doesn’t she speak English and Japanese fluently though? She’s smart and attractive, jeez.” Sero huffed, and Aizawa furrowed his brow, zipping down his zipper on his yellow sleeping bag.

“Who are you talking about?”

“Miss L/N!” They both yelled, making Aizawa blink. “She’s our new counselor. She said parents were complaining that the students mental health wasn’t being cared about enough, so U.A hired her. She’s from America too.”

“America.” Aizawa groaned. He already had an image in his own eyes—a stereotypically one, but oh well. You probably had blonde hair and blue eyes. There was probably nothing special about you at all. His students weren’t as used to foreigners, so of course they would find you attractive.

Throughout the entire day he kept hearing his students chatter about you. About how kind you were, how pretty your voice sounded, how you looked so unique. He was getting peeved—why was everyone so hung up on you?

He carried the thought with him until the end of the day, when he headed down the hall to what seemed to be your room, just as you were leaving.

And—wow. He really understood why everyone was talking about you.

You weren’t blonde haired, blue eyed at all. Your hair was in a fluffy afro, like Mina’s but kinkier. You had the most supple brown skin and dark eyes that lit up when they caught his. His eyes widened a bit at just how radiating you seemed, your multi colored lips raising into a smile.

“Good afternoon, Mr. Aizawa! I’m L/N,” you spoke, your hand pushing out to shake his. He shook your hand silently, noting at how warm your palm was against his cold one. “I’ve heard a lot about you from your students!”

“You’ve met them?” he asked, voice deep with shock.

“Ahh, well, they kind of pranked me earlier,” you said sheepishly. “They came banging on my door and said there was a fire, and that I needed to leave as soon as I could. But then they said they were just joking when I was about to jump out my window,” you laughed, shaking your head. “They’re pretty goofy huh?”

Aizawa couldn’t help but note at how good your Japanese was. He knew English and Japanese were two different languages—you must’ve been pretty smart and hardworking to learn it.

“Well, I have to go do paperwork at my apartment-hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow, yeah?” you smiled once again. Aizawa only nodded and then you were off, with his eyes burning into your back.

His fists clenched. You were much more attractive than he originally imagined. But he wasn’t going to indulge—he knew that would only end badly.

Right?

The next day, Aizawa heard the same chatter about you. And the next. And the next. He didn’t see you again until about a week later, when he saw you chatting with Midnight and Mic in the lunch line. He cringed—the two were notorious for gossiping and he really hoped they weren’t telling you anything stupid.

“And then I—aye yo, Zawa! Good afternoon! Have you met L/N?!” Mic screamed, and Aizawa’s eyes went to meet yours ago. Your hair was styled differently to the point where he could see your eyes better, and it framed your face so nicely. You waved at him and he smiled sheepishly.

“We were just talking about our high school days~” Midnight’s voice rang out. “American high school is reaaaally different from Japanese high school, according to L/N.”

“The students here are really well behaved, especially in Aizawa’s class,” you smiled at him. “You’re doing a damn good job with them. They’re some of the most charming students I’ve seen! The ones in American high school can be really rude and nasty... I haven’t experienced any of that here. It’s nice.”

Aizawa breathed shakily. Thank god his students weren’t embarrassing him.

“L/N here’s got a degree in psychology and all that mental stuff!” Mic yelled once again as you all moved down the lunch line. “She understands da brain! We really needed someone like her here, with all the breakdowns our students have!”

Aizawa huffed. Teachers, too.

“I’m here for everyone,” you spoke. “Students, teachers, even the Recovery Girl if she’s got a lot on her mind. I’m just here to help everybody as much as I can.”

“Aizawa needs some of that help fo sure!” Mic yelled, smiling so hard all of his long, white teeth showed. “Motherheffa never talks to anyone about his feelings, keeps em balled up! That’s not healthy!”

Aizawa’s ears turned red. “No, I don’t need-“

“I’ll help ya!” you offered, moving so your body was right next to his. He couldn’t help but inhale your scent—it was strong and sweet, something he’d never smelled before. “Don’t worry—whatever we discuss in my room stays in my room. It’s something I pledged to do when I became a therapist.”

Aizawa laughed nervously, shaking his head. “I really don’t-“

“It’s okay if you don’t wanna have a session immediately, no worries,” you shrugged. “But I’m here whenever you need me. I have more work to do later, but I’ll see you guys later!”

And then you were off, with Aizawa’s eyes still on your back.

“You’re staring pretty hard Aizawa,” Midnight raised perfectly done eyebrows. “She’s pretty—I would stare too.”

“Be quiet.” He spluttered, his ears still red as he made his way back to his classroom to eat.

Another week had passed of Aizawa admiring you from afar. You always came into work with a smile on your face, greeting students with handshakes and hugs—the hugs threw him off a bit, but Kaminari told him it was an “American thing.” He didn’t know how much he would daydream about it until he started to long for hugs from you, thinking of how your arms would wrap around his middle before class.

He wasn’t obsessed with you, no, but rather infatuated. You were intelligent and easy to approach, and your appearance matched your personality. He was attracted to you but due to him not having a relationship in years and also not having the best social skills, he had no idea how to approach you. He didn’t even know much about you. His students knew you more than he did and you were his age! It made no sense.

Time after time during the third week of you being here he tried to talk to you. During lunch, when Midnight and Mic would force you all to sit together, he would want to open his mouth but he couldn’t. He’d come by your room to start conversations after school but the most he’d say was “have a good evening, L/N.” and leave you alone. He even found your social media and took a quick look through your pictures—leaving your page when he saw you in a bikini, his cheeks red.

By the time the fourth week came around, his students and his work buddies were noticing his changes in behavior. He was getting distracted much more than before and whenever someone would mention your name he’d go scarily silent and look deep in thought. It wasn’t until Mina chatted with the rest of the Bakusquad that his students actually began to do something about it.

“Miss L/N!” you heard Jirou’s voice rang out from your doorway, with some other students from Class 1-A coming in behind you. “Good evening~”

“Good evening Jirou! Hey everyone,” you smiled warmly at the students that were entering your classroom, confused as how many of them were coming in. “What’s up...?”

You had formed a pretty close relationship with the class of 1-A during your short time here. You had sessions with most of them and got to know their personalities and feelings pretty well—even Bakugo, who was closed up and rude at first, but eventually shed a few tears in your room.

“Mr. Aizawa said he needed your help with planning lessons today—he said he’s asked everyone else and they’re all busy,” Mina told you, and your brows furrowed in confusion. Aizawa needs help from... you? That was odd. “He needs you to come by as soon as possible!”

“Oh! Well, alright,” you laughed sheepishly, rubbing the back of your neck as you stood up and grabbed your phone. “Thanks for telling me—you all get to your dorms and don’t cause too much noise okay?”

You heard rings of “yes, miss l/n’s” as everyone left your room and you locked it behind you. You started to make your way to Aizawa’s classroom, your palms a little sweaty against your notebook. You hadn’t talked to Aizawa in a while and it was weird that he had requested your help, but you didn’t mind getting closer to him. Truthfully, he had been on your mind a lot the past few days—you found him pretty attractive despite his quiet demeanor. Although, you were a new teacher, and didn’t want to be involved with anyone too early in your school year.

Aizawa jumps a bit when he hears sudden loud knocks on your door, and sees your face come into view. “Good evening, Aizawa. You needed my help?”

“Huh?” Aizawa asked, his face twisted in confusion.

“Jirou and Mina came by and said you needed my help with lesson planning—I’m not the best with planning stuff to teach but I don’t mind offering my assistance,” you offered him your normal, gentle smile. “So where do we start?”

Mina and Jirou? Ugh. Of course they would tell you that.

“Um-um-well,” he stuttered, his face already starting to heat up. “I just need a new quirk training game... yeah. That’s why I need help with.” Fuck. He hoped that sounded believable.

“Okay!” you nodded, suddenly taking a seat that was in the corner of the room and sitting right. Next. To. Him. He had to clench his fists to keep his cool, not used to such an attractive woman being so close to him at all. “Where should we start?”

He spent two hours with you discussing new games to play with his students that would also train their quirks, and those were some of the best two hours of his life.

He so enjoyed the time he spent with you. You were so easygoing and natural to talk to—he didn’t feel awkward or nervous talking to you which is what he feared he would feel in the first place. He cracked more smiles with you in the span of two hours than he did the whole week.

“You can’t just make them play dodgeball with their quirks! They’ll get hurt!”

“We have a Recovery Girl for a reason.” Aizawa rolled his eyes, smirking at the glare he got from you.

“Still! You know some of them—Bakugo—are going to take out their anger on other students,” you huffed.

“But it’ll be fun to watch?”

You were quiet for a moment, but inevitably started smirking along with him. “...you’re right. It will be.”

Together, the both of you planned for Class 1-A dodgeball, with you and Aizawa as the referees. You two even planned to go by the outfits together—and now he was out at a sporting store with you, looking for a fucking black and white striped shirt. He couldn’t believe this.

“I’ve never worn one of these before—you think I’ll look cute in it?” you asked him, raising your eyebrows repeatedly and he couldn’t help but chuckle gently at your antics. “I’m serious!”

“I’m sure you will F/N,” he told you, not even noticing his slip up until a few moments later. “I—I meant-“

“So we’re on second base huhhhh? Don’t worry, I’ve accidentally called you Shota a few times to Mic and Midnight. I’m not used to calling people by their last names, we don’t do that in America.”

“You talk about me?” Aizawa couldn’t help but feel a little proud of the fact.

“What?! Of course not, no.” you quickly shook your head, and he grinned at the flustered look on your face. “The only thing I tell them about is how you need more sleep. Your brain doesn’t function correctly on a small amount of sleep.”

“My brain doesn’t function correctly at all.”

“Wrong. You’re pretty smart, Aizawa. Pretty understanding too,” you hummed, you two walking through the aisles so you could get whistles. “Your students are always telling me how much you care about them, even though you don’t show it. They really appreciate you you know?”

He was expressionless, but his heart did warm a little bit at your words. “I know.”

You two bought the items and soon enough you were back at the school. You got out of his car, sending him a wave and a quick goodbye before heading to your own car, and Aizawa let out the longest sigh of his life.

“Shit.”

[bellatrixobsessed1]

A Spark In The Snow

Was gonna go for straight comedy but this wrote itself into fluff. Also it was gonna be a one shot but I decided to leave it open to possibly becoming a multi-parter if I have the time. But I tried to leave in the Azula/Daniela chaotic duo aspect I mentioned. 

Summary: Azula is a fire in Alcina’s otherwise cold and desolate world. She brings a certain spark to the castle that is as vexing as it is endearing. Anyways, her daughters are fond of the girl so how bad can it be?

A simmering summer, Alcina decides, is more chaotic than a merciless winter. Fire is wild, uncontrollable, unpredictable. It leaps from one thing to the next, searing away all that which it touches. Winter leaves a frosty kiss but it can be dispelled and warded off. Winter is predictable, summer is strange, feral.

Winters is predictable. Azula is anything but. Winters has a knack for smashing windows--breaking anything with a glass surface, really. Azula sets fire to everything that will burn. Winters does it out of spite and malice. Alcina is convinced that Azula does it for the thrill or attention. She knows that attention is Daniela does it for chaos and companionship.

Alcina pinches the bridge of her nose as another thunderous boom resounds down the expansive hallway. She takes a hard and generous swallow of wine, this particular boom had sounded rather expensive. The shatter of porcelain, perhaps her favorite bathtub.

“What are you guys doing!?” Bela screeches. It is a noble thing that the girl is trying to do. Noble but pointless. Alcina has come to find that Azula and Daniela have become quite an unstoppable duo. A duo with such ferocity that even Winters has stopped coming by.

She isn’t sure where the girl had come from nor what sort of mutation has granted her the ability to wield fire in her hands but she is here and Alcina can’t help but feel a fondness for her. She is a small thing, absolutely teeny--even by comparison to someone who isn’t as tall as she. And mostly she is a charming and poised girl. Elegant and well-mannered. Even tempered, a break from the chaos. A refreshing break.

But with Daniela there comes to the surface something wilder. The girl’s laugh is far less than refined when Daniela points to a large crate and yells, “oh, what about that! Set that on fire!” There comes another loud bang and Alcina flinches. She is almost certain that, that had been a crate of clothing that she has been meaning to look through. She grits her teeth and grips the armrests of her chair. She loves her daughters, loves them more than anything else. But if she hears one more explosion…

.oOo.

Azula chuckles to herself as the flames lap at the wood. Her own mother would never let her get away with such a feat. She scrambles her way up a chair. Castle Dimitrescu is somewhat intimidating in its impressive size. There isn’t a single thing that she doesn’t have to ask one of the Dimitrescu sisters to help her reach.

When they aren’t around she has to quite literally scale counters and furniture. And the bed...she had thought her bed at the palace was large. The one she sleeps in now has room for several of her as well as a mongoose-lizard or two.

And it is no wonder, she hears the thunder of Lady Dimitrescu’s footsteps.

“OhHHh fUcK!” Daniela shouts. Before Azula’s reflexes have a chance to kick in, she snatches her off of the chair she had worked so hard to ascend. “She’ll never catch us.”

“And what if she does?” Azula asks.

“Then we’ll just burst into a cloud of flies and...oh wait you can’t do that.” She slows her pace to tap her chin. “Then we’ll just have to...set MORE things on fire!” She throws her hands up. Azula gives a yelp of surprise as her body is tossed into the air.

She catches herself on a chandelier and pulls herself onto its fixture. It bobs precariously though she can’t imagine that she weighs anywhere near enough to bring it down.  

“Whoops.” Daniela winces from below.

Having successfully launched her partner in crime to oblivion, she is left to fend for herself.

“Where is your sister?”

“Which one, mother?”

“The fiery one.”

“Cassandra’s is in her room.”

Alcina inhales deeply.  “Azula. Where is Azula.”

“Oh, right, yes. Well you see, she’s really small and so I may or may not have thrown her clear across the castle.” Perhaps her lie would have had more success if she hadn’t offered the chandelier a wink. Alcina reaches up in an attempt to pluck her down. Azula ducks under the woman’s hand but one misplacement of her hand has her tumbling to the ground.

With a most devious grin, Daniela lets out a screech and catapults herself into the air. She practically bodyslams Azula as she catches her and takes off into a full sprint.  “Daniela, you get back here!” She hears Alcina groan. “Bela, catch your sister!”

Daniela takes Azula’s arm and positions it out in front of her. “Make fire!”

“Do you think that your mother will finally replace this hideous wallpaper if I just…” she holds the smallest candle wick of a flame to the wall and lets Daniela’s sprint do the rest.

“Our mother won’t have a choice. Oh! Maybe if we set all of...everything on fire we can finally redecorate the house. I was thinking of something more daring like…” she trails off. “Like we can take a whole bunch of man bones and string them up on the balcony like wind chimes. Oh and I saw this neat thing at Karl’s factory. I heard minimalist is in...which is exactly why we need to clutter this place up. I was thinking sofas in the middle of the hallway and lamps hanging form the chandeliers.

“Daniela, that sounds awful.  Let’s do it!” Though she is nearly certain that it will end up driving her just as mad as it will drive Lady Dimitrescu.

Daniela comes to an abrupt halt and bursts into a cloud of flies as she collides with Bela who erupts into her own separate cloud. Azula lands with an oof. The fire, a testament to her success and thrill, crackles behind her. Bela reassembles with her hands on either side of her head, “what have you guys done!?”

“We don’t like the decore and wallpaper so we’re remodeling!” Azula declares more boldly than someone who has landed flat on the floor ought to.

Daniela lifts her off of the floor and turns her around to face the fire. “It’s…” she wipes a tear from her eye “...glorious.”

“You guys are the worst.” Cassandra grumbles. “I think that my favorite seat cushion was down this hallway.”

Daniela rolls her eyes. “Who actually bothers to pick out a favorite seat cushion anyways?”

“I do, Dani!”

Azula shrugs. “If it was in this particular hallway that it was an abomination to upholstery.”

“It’s not about the aesthetic! It’s about the feeling it gives your buttcheeks when they sink into it’s plush fabric.” Cassandra explains. “Haven’t you ever sat your ass down on something so fluffy it transported you to a new dimension?”

Azula shakes her head.

“Then how’d you get here?” Daniela asks.

Bela rolls her eyes, “because obviously comfortable seating is how you move from one universe to another.”

“The right level of booty comfort can go a long way.” Daniela insists.

“I hate to say it, but I think Daniela is right, Bela.”

With a fire blazing wildly behind her, Azula sits back and watches the siblings bicker. Such is the pattern that she has fallen into. It is thrilling, fun, and exhilarating.  This world, wherever it is, is bizarre and uncanny. Messy and wild, and there is a sense of freedom in the chaos. In becoming part of the chaos. Something liberating that she can’t find in the Fire Nation. Something that compels her to shake away what remains of her overwhelming need for perfection.

.oOo.

Alcina finds that the fire child is much easier to manage when she is sitting upon her shoulder chattering away about the politics of her own realm and how she rather enjoys having three sisters instead of one aggravating brother.

And upon her shoulder, away from Cassandra and Daniela, Azula retains her more soothing, soft spoken demeanor. The one she takes up when looking over books with Bela. This is the topic of discussion today, “I’ve never read anything like this. The history of your world is quite intriguing.”

“I am glad to hear that you are getting comfortable here.” Alcina takes a seat, picks up her kiseru, and has a drag. The smoke trails up and Azula fans it away.

“It would be wonderful if you could get some smaller chairs, climbing these is just about as tiresome as some of my firebending katas are.” She absently kicks her legs at the air, offering Alcina’s chest something of a massage.  

“I suppose that I can do that for you.”

“Perfect.” Azula claps her hands together.

For some time they sit in silence and then the girl speaks. “I’m glad that I found you. I don’t...I don’t feel like a monster here.”

Alcina furrows her brows. She has been around many a monster. By all means, she thinks it fair to call herself one. But the girl, this small, delicate thing… “why would you think that?”

“Everyone else does. My own mother…”

Alcina’s heart pangs again. Suddenly she doesn’t feel quite so much like a monster, “a mother who can’t love her child is no mother.” And for a moment she isn’t sure if she is speaking of Azula’s mother or of Mother Miranda. “A mother who makes her child feel  insignificant is a monster.” She reaches up to stroke Azula’s hair.

“You don’t think that I’m a monster?”

This girl, this beautiful girl has been made to feel unloved and unlovable.

“Why would I think that, dear?”

She shrugs. “Daniel and I have set everything you love on fire.”

She pinches the bridge of her nose. “You haven’t set yourselves or each other on fire.”  She sighs. “I suppose that this castle was due for some renovations anyhow.” This seems to delight the girl.

“My mother had a fit when I set a single, withered rose on fire.”

“Things work differently here, as you are finding.” She rises to her feet. “It has been a while since I’ve had company on my strolls through the courtyard; my girls are unable to tolerate the cold. Would you join me?”

.oOo.

“Firebenders don’t much like the cold...mother.” It sounds strange to say on her tongue, but it feels perfectly correct. The woman’s face seems to fall. “But I’m sure you have something warm for me to wear while we’re out.”

“Of course, dear. I’ll fix you a cup of wine--if I remember correctly you prefer it without blood--and we’ll head out.”

“No blood, that’s correct.”

“Strange girl.” The woman chuckles.

She isn’t sure that she is the strange one here but she keeps it to herself while Alcina sets her back on her shoulder and makes her way into the dining room. Minutes later she finds that Alcina hasn’t any winter clothing that is even remotely her size. Instead, the woman bundles her up in a nest of blankets that very well may be Alcina’s own winter coat.

The outside world is cold on her cheeks. She finds herself pressing her hands against them as Alcina points out her favorite places in the courtyard, her favorite flowers and her favorite statues. Much like all else in this world, Azula has never seen anything quite like it. It is grand and elegant place as cold and grey on the outside as it is warm on the inside. It has many twisting, sharp spires and stone gargoyles to top them. In places it is broken, ancient. Gloomy and depressive in a haunting way that Mai would appreciate. “Your castle is beautiful, mother.”

“Thank you.” She smiles. “I am pleased to know that you don’t find it off putting.”

.oOo.

Azula burrows further into the blankets.

“Are you getting cold?”

“I’ve been cold.” She replies.

“I suppose that I’ve had my fill of nightair.” She cups her hand over the girl’s head, hoping to provide her with  even just a little more heat. “I ought to check up on Daniela.”

Azula nods and leans into her chest, pulling the blankets tighter around herself as she does so. “Thank you.” She mumbles. “For letting me stay here.”

Alcina ought to thank her for staying. She can’t remember the last time that she has had company, human company that she found pleasant. Human company that didn’t find her terrifying and monstrous. She just hopes that the girl will never have to see her in her second form. She shouldn’t like Azula to look upon her with fear and disgust. She thinks that it is an inevitability. Everyone leaves her eventually. Everyone save for her daughters. This girl, she reminds herself, is her daughter. She likes to think that she wouldn’t leave.

“It is no trouble at all. I do hope that you will stay with me for a long time, dear.”

[chernobog13]

WHAT THE WHAT...?

Okay, by the time the X-Men animated series hit the airwaves, followed soon thereafter by the gazillion action figures from Toy Biz, I had pretty much dropped Marvel’s mutant books from my reading list.

I read the original X-Men book for years, pretty much since I picked up issue #101 (my first).  I didn’t mind, later on, when The New Mutants came along.  The books were still entertaining and pretty much self-contained.  Even when writer Chris Claremont infuriated me at times with his over-wordy expository dialogue, or the sub-plots that he would hint at but then take years (!) to resolve - if he resolved them at all!

But then X-Factor came out, bringing Jean Grey back to life (not for the first, and certainly not for the last, time).  And then the mutant books started having all these multi-, multi-issue crossovers (which usually also involved purchasing other titles I didn’t read) to tell long, overblown stories that should really have only been two=parters at most.  Which started a trend in comic book storytelling that unfortunately has never gone way.

I grew tired of it all.  It wasn’t fun for me, so I dropped the books from my pull- and reading-lists.

And that was BEFORE the explosion of mutant books that Marvel unleashed in the 1990s!

However, I did like the action figures, especially as the X-Men line improved and expanded.  I bought many of them.  Even if I did not know who a particular character was, like the guy below, I would grab the figure if I liked the design or it appealed to me in some way.

This guy is apparently named Dark Nemesis.  He is part of the Ninja Force wave of the X-Men line, although looking at him I could not imagine a more NON-ninja design.

He is, however, a screaming skull with attached spine inside what appears to be a fiery suit of armor.  The aesthetic alone was enough to make me grab him off the shelf, walk him to the cashier, and pull out my wallet.

I know next-to-nothing about this guy, or how he fits in the larger X-Men universe, and that doesn’t bother me at all.

He’s a skull inside a transparent suit of armor, and that’s good enough for me!