#two mutuals said Ancient Rome for me

[theemmtropy]

@nico-di-genova This is the funniest possible thing for you to say im fucking wheezing

[slaytheusurper]

⭑ Mine all mine ⭑

Masterlist

Pairing: (TGC) Gaius Julius Caesar x fem!reader

A/N: as requested by multiple people ;)

Warnings: +18 mdni, mutual pining, cheating reader, murdered/poisoned husband, affair, making out, grinding/humping, oraljob (both f and m receiving), handjob (both f and m receiving), vaginal sex and creampie.

Summary: You hated your husband and want to be rid of him, luckily you meet a certain man who will change your life.

Word count: 3.6k

Another boring fucking supper party hosted by your boring fucking husband. You were only married to him for about two months but you never wanted him. All you got married for was the money and power your husband could provide. You came from a great ancient family in Rome.

So does he, your husband was a well known and feared senator. Quite an important man, but also old. And not to mention gross and too horny. It was well known you were beautiful and from when you were young you had many suitors lined up, begging for your fathers approval, but your husband was the richest, so he won.

You rolled your eyes as he looked way too proud to have you at his side. You greeted your his guests and your husband got many envious stares from his male guests. You never needed to persuade him much, many men fell to their knees at the sight of you. And you knew that even though you were a ‘helpless’ woman, you at least had that power.

Many old, ugly and plain people passed you, while the women all gave you glares. You never understood why they had to be so envious while you were all in it together. Most women were actually girls, some even as young as 14 to 15. You were more lucky though, you were married the day you turned 18. Some consider that too late but those were your fathers terms. 

You were very grateful for him and you knew that he would have your back. You started to get more and more bored when the amount of people didn’t seem to end, luckily you had one of the biggest houses in Rome and it could fit thousands of people if it had to. But the guest list for tonight was only about two hundred. Two hundred of the most important people in Rome. 

But then it seemed time slowed when a certain brown haired man stopped to greet your ugly husband. The man then introduced himself to you. “Gaius Julius Caesar, thank you for having me, it’s a beautiful home. Almost as beautiful as you, it is true what they say... You are very lucky.” He said that last part while turning to your husband before joining the larger party in the main hall. Your husband thinned his lips and looked at you angrily.

You shrugged your shoulders and placed a hand on his, faking your empathy for the idiot. He of course fell for it, as always, and went back to greeting the last guests strolling in. Only a couple more stiff smiles before finally the whole party was here, and your husband went to check on some of his men. You strided towards some women you knew growing up and started a conversation with them. 

They provided you with some gossip and soon you were talking about the husbands all of you wanted instead of the ones you got. So you told them about Gaius and of course they knew who you were talking about. “Of course you want the most devious one of them, and I bet you could get him too, I saw how he looked at you, only moments ago.” One of them told you. And sure enough, when you looked over one of the women’s shoulders, his brown eyes were looking at you.

You smiled at him, the way you did when you ‘persuaded’ your husband, he grinned back. One of his men looked at him questioningly. “Too bad she’s already married.” Agrippa whispered to Gaius, which earned him an annoyed look. “So? Divorce exists.” He fired back. “You really think that that old man is going to let a woman like her go? And what if she’s pregnant? She’ll have to give up that child.” Agrippa argued. 

“Don’t think she is, a girl like her wouldn’t let an old fuck like him touch her.” He smiled, Agrippa rolled his eyes. “She doesn’t have a choice obviously, that’s why she very well could be.” Gaius got annoyed by his friend and needed a break from his constant nagging. He always got what he wanted and he would have you too.

He strolled over to Cicero’s wife, not nearly as pretty as you but he was hard from your smiles at him and he needed relief. He wasn’t too sure about getting away with fucking you at your own husband’s party. So the desperate one would do, he knew she would do anything he asked, he was one of the most young, handsome and richest ones here. 

So he whispered something in her ear, that of course didn’t go unnoticed by you and jealousy filled your chest. Your face fell, and he glanced at you while he discreetly followed the other woman up the stairs. You decided to ignore it and went back to talking with your ‘friends’ instead. You did learn that he wasn’t married and you envied him. He could do whatever he wanted but you couldn’t.

You tried to focus on anything else but the thought of him fucking that other woman right now but you couldn’t and before you knew it you had excused yourself and rapidly ascended the stairs. Glancing behind, you saw your husband and his guests busy talking and drinking. He didn’t have a fucking clue.

You searched around the quiet upper floor for a while, until you heard soft groans and moans. The sounds lead you closer and closer to your own bedchamber. When you pulled the soft fabric aside and your eyes met his, he was laid on your bed with the woman between his legs, sucking him off. He started to pant and moan faster at the sight of you.

The sounds and the sight of such an arousing scene made heat puddle in your own belly. And soon you were panting along with him, your eyes never left each other and the look on your face quickly made him cum in the woman’s mouth, waking you up and moving yourself behind the fabric again, being careful the woman didn’t see you when she left. 

Then he appeared from behind the curtain, giving you a wink as he walked off. “That’s Cicero’s wife.” Your words made him turn around as he walked back over to you. “Yes.” He replied curtly. “I thought he was your friend.” He stepped closer to you. “He is. He married her because her family’s rich. That’s why everyone gets married, money, power, family. They’re the only things that matter.”

You looked up at him and he glanced at your lips, licking his own. “To the son of a money lender I’m sure that’s true.” He smiled and inhaled. “Grandson.” He mumbled, before crashing his lips on yours. You whimpered at the sudden feeling and he only deepened the kiss, gripping your hips tightly. Your hand travelled up his leg and he leaned into your touch. Then you squeezed his bulge, he let go of your lips and groaned in response. 

“That’s my bed.” You said, he looked at you with heavy eyes. Then you let go of him, leaving him there with another erection. You went back to the party and your husband, much to your approval, was already drunk, good, no sex tonight. He had only fucked you once on your wedding night, but his seed didn’t take root so you were still free from the burden of a child, but you knew that one day he would succeed, so you had to take action.

The party was soon over and the guests started to leave, you were once again at your husband's side but now bidding them goodnight. And soon enough Gaius walked past, only giving you a grin. Your husband looked at you questioningly but you again pretended not to know Gaius’ intentions. Since he was still drunk he quickly forgot and the last of the guests had left for the night.

That night you were thankfully in your own bed, your husband passed out in his own and your hand slid down your stomach between your thighs, pleasuring yourself to the thought of him. And that night after you had one of the best orgasms of your life, you dreamt of him. Gaius Julius Caesar, showing up on a huge white stallion with a hundred knights, slaying your husband and claiming you as his. 

A few months went by and everytime you still managed to avoid being with child. Much to your husband’s dismay, who grew more impatient and annoyed. But you promised him that soon you would bear a son. This was not true, when he did have sex with you, you had your servant bring you water, and you washed his spend out of you. So far it worked, as you showed no signs. 

You were only a few moments back home from the market with some other wives when your husband barged in. Snapping you out of your thoughts as you admired some of your new jewellery. “I have good news!” He laughed. It made your stomach curl. “Gaius Julius Caesar himself has invited us to a supper party at his house. Some three hundred are invited and we are one of them!” Now that made your smile return. 

So only a few nights later you arrived at Gaius’ house, it was even bigger than yours and he greeted you with a big smile. Your idiot of a husband didn’t even notice, taking in the house. Soon you were joining the larger party and your husband was quickly lost in the crowd. Good. You didn’t need that fool tonight. No, your plans were different from his. Tonight you would get yourself a new husband. 

It didn’t take long for him to find you, you purposely had left to ‘catch some air’ and had walked to the balcony outside. He walked up behind you and joined your side. “You enjoying the party?” He asked. “Not really.” You responded, looking at him with heavy eyes. His tongue pressed the inside of his cheek. “Me neither. Follow me up soon, third door to the left.” With that he made his way back inside.

Moments later when you knew for sure he was in his room already, your feet guided you inside, and you as discreetly as possible made your way upstairs. You passed the doors, one, two, three. You knocked on the door and it opened fast, a hand pulling you inside. “No one followed you?” You shook your head. His lips then pressed against yours and he pulled you against him tightly. He broke the kiss for only a moment.

“I will make you mine.” He groaned against your lips. You smiled and his tongue soon invaded your mouth. You moaned at the feeling, heat cursed through you and you knew you had made the right decision. He moved both of your bodies towards the bed, climbing on top of you. Then he started to nip and suck at your neck, your moans echoing through his room. Never had you felt such pleasure from so little.

“Gonna show you how a husband is supposed to fuck his wife.” He growled against your skin. You gasped at his words and he harshly ripped off your robes, sucking and licking at your exposed skin. Your body responded beautifully to his touch and he had never been this hard in his life. Your own body was aching as well, begging him for relief.

He kissed down your bare body and didn’t neglect your breasts, he flicked his tongue over your nipples and you shivered at the sensation. Is this what sex is supposed to be? When he was pleased with your now sensitive nipples he kissed down until he reached your glistening folds. He licked his lips before dipping his head down, licking at your clit. Your back arched and a loud cry left your lips.

“Feels good doesn’t it? My little slut, you’re all mine now.” He groaned swiftly going back in. He moaned against your cunt when he grinded his hard cock against the bed. Only adding to your own pleasure. Your hand moved to his head, grabbing his brown locks for support. He saw this as a sign to move his tongue faster and so he rapidly flicked his tongue over your clit. 

You could barely breathe, the pleasure was suffocating you and you could only whimper at the warm tongue between your legs. He noticed your peak was near and moved his hand to enter a finger inside you, sliding it further in until he reached that sensitive spot inside you. He knew he found it when you jerked at his touch. He never slowed down his tongue as he now fingered you as well, bringing you to edge of release.

With only two more licks and a press against your sensitive spot inside, you contracted when your climax rushed through you, coming with a loud cry of his name. You didn’t give a single fuck about if anyone had heard you, since he made you cum so hard you saw spots. When the overwhelming feeling had calmed, you looked down at him, he was still between your legs, resting his face on your left thigh. Your juices over his face and his pupils blown wide.

He only allowed you a moment before he came back up, licking your lips and into your mouth when you opened it on instinct. He let go off you for a moment to take off his own robes, revealing abs and a dark happy trail leading to his thick hard cock. It had veins and a red leaking tip. You couldn’t wait to put it in your mouth, nevertheless inside you.

You sat up and moved on your knees, Gaius positioned himself on the bed, him now in your previous place against the pillows. You moved between his legs now and realised you had never sucked a cock before. Your husband always just immediately penetrated you and that was the end of it. “Do you ever do this for your husband?” He asked, his voice raspy as his eyes were glued to your tits. You shook your head. “Good.” 

He motioned you to come closer and he wrapped your hand around his cock, helping you pump it up and down. “Now just kiss it, and then wrap your lips and suck on it.” You did as told, you knew you’d do anything to him. You carefully kissed his tip, right at the slit where pre cum was dribbling out and he hissed at the feeling. Then you wrapped your lips around his uncut cock, he helped you pull the skin down a bit so his whole tip was exposed. You instinctively let your tongue swirl around his angry head, and he let out a cry of pleasure. 

You stopped for a moment, “Am I better than that whore from my husband’s party?” A grin played on his lips, “She doesn’t even slightly compare to you.” You smiled at his words and went back to swirling your tongue over his tip. “Fuck- go deeper- take it deeper- ah!” You took him deeper in your throat as he commanded and he grabbed your head. His other hand furiously holding on to the sheets.

He wasn’t too long but he was very thick and his was so much prettier and bigger than your husbands, it made you drool all over his cock. You wondered what his response would be to fondling his sack so you moved your free hand up his leg. He looked down at you with an open mouth, completely frozen when you started to massage his balls. He could only let out hitched breaths and grunts.

“K-keep going- almost there- please!” He moaned when you licked his slit, your other hand still giving his balls attention too. And soon his abdomen tensed, his breath stuck in his throat as his cock twitched in your mouth, then his seed spurted down your throat, a guttural moan leaving his. “Fuckkkk!” He came so much it dripped out of your mouth, on your chin as well as his shaft and balls. He gasped and moaned at the sight.

You let go of his cock and swallowed the salty liquid, he sat up and swiped his thumb over your chin, gathering the remainder of his seed and putting it in your mouth. You made sure to suck his thumb all clean before he pulled it out, chuckling at how dirty he had already made you. Gaius then pulled you towards him by your waist so you laid upon his chest. “I will have one of my men discreetly kill your idiot husband, so you might be mine.” You looked at him with uncertainty. “What?” He asked. 

“How though? My husband is a powerful man, we have a lot of guards.” He smiled sweetly at you before kissing your head. “Don’t worry about that, Agrippa and I will make a plan. Then we shall have the most beautiful wedding Rome has ever seen.” And so you got dressed after a while and looked for your husband. Gaius gave you a smile before blending in with the crowd. 

You were awoken by screams of members of the household, it had been a week since the party of Gaius and you anxiously awaited for your husband's death. You and Gaius knew he would never divorce you and so he had to die, in order for you to marry him. You threw the sheets off you and ran to where the screams were coming from. Your husband's room, finally. You were stopped by one of the servants who begged you to stay back but you pushed past him.

There he laid, in his bed, In a puddle of blood. Blood stain trails out of his nostrils, tear ducts and mouth, even out of his ears. What had Gaius done to him? Clearly some sort of poison. You pretended to be surprised and screamed, pretending to want to go to him and ‘struggling’ against the servant's grip holding you back, he then led you back to your room. Not long after the body was removed, the news was all over Rome. And a grim funeral followed. Gaius attended as well as his friend Agrippa and he ‘comforted’ you during the remembrance supper. 

Two days after the funeral, Gaius arrived at your house. You, by law, had inherited the estate and got approval to find a new husband, what the senate didn’t know, was that you had already picked one. And so the news of your wedding soon spread like wildfire across Rome, the women jealous and talking about how fast you had found a new husband. But you didn’t care.

The wedding itself was somehow better than your previous. A thousand had come, and you wore the finest jewellery and fabrics. Even Gaius had on a marvellous robe and his hair was for once neat. You couldn’t help but stare and smile at each other during the ceremony and it was soon officiated with a heated kiss. Gathering a loud applause from the guests. The rope that tied your gown was loosely fastened, ensuring Gaius would have easy access later that night.

You only had a quick supper party after the ceremony, wanting nothing more than to finally fuck your new husband. So you rushed up the stairs, not bothering to wait for the last guests to leave and immediately rushing to his bedchamber, slamming the door shut behind him he almost jumped you. Slamming his lips against yours in a frenzied kiss.

“Finally I have you.” He said between kisses, once again moving you to his bed. But this time it was you who climbed on top of him, grounding your hips against his, he easily pulled the rope out of its knot. Your gown almost fell off you with the rope discarded but Gaius helped pull it off anyway.

You could already feel how soaked you were. Your heated kiss resumed and Gaius’ hips bucked up into yours eagerly. “How about I just fuck you right now hm?” He groaned. He didn’t even pull off his own robe, rather he helped you lift up the skirts, revealing his aching cock. You held yourself steady with both hands on his chest, he lined his length up at your entrance and you carefully sank down on him.

Both of your moans filled the room, the sensation of his cock filling you up so well becoming overwhelming. “So fucking tight-” He gritted out, hips snapping up into you as his patience had run out. He had to have you, fill you with his child. The thought of you waddling around with a swollen belly made him dizzy. 

You rode him with urgence wanting nothing more than for him to fill you with his cum, the thought drove you crazy. His cock hit that sensitive spot inside you with every thrust and it made you a blabbering moaning mess, clenching down on his cock as you came with a cry. His grip on your hips tightened and he fucked into you mercilessly, soon his hips started to falter and cuss after cuss left his lips. With a couple more harsh pounds into you he filled you with his seed.

And just like last time, he came so much, it dripped out of you. He quickly turned you around and pulled out in the process. With two fingers he pushed his cum back inside ensuring a child would be on the way soon. And it worked, in no time you were walking around with a swollen belly, a proud look on Gaius’ face. But of course he still fucked you every night.

[the-phoenix-heart]

Please do spill some of your Mama Greece hcs sometime if you feel comfortable because I love your thoughts on her

You have unleashed a beast Grammy. Here's a brief life history of my Mama Greece. (I can say so much more)

Human Name: Helene (also Lavinia, we'll get to it)

Her father was Mycenae (Mycenaean Greece). She looked up to him greatly as a child.

I headcanon that the City-States of Greece were also personified, and that Helene represented the Greek World as a whole, the one that followed after Mycenae Greece. The City-States aren't really related to her, I kind of characterize them as a cousins.

The City-States don't have much personality that I've decided, but Sparta was a women and a badass, and Athens was a philosophizing misogynist.

For a long time, because Helene represented the Greek World as a whole and the City-States were in charge of themselves she mostly got to spend her time doing whatever the hell she wanted. Disguising herself as a man often, and becoming a genius in mathematics and philosophy. She wasn't so much bothered with war and work for a long time, though she was was a skilled sword woman. She spent much of her time in this period in a hedonistic lifestyle (and I like to think she was involved with the Cult of Dionysus)

And then there was Persia. Their relationship was one you could call enemies with benefits. Vitriolic, Helene didn't much like him, but he was a good fuck. Their relationship got worse overtime, though there was a mutual respect between the two. Basically the France and England of the Ancient times.

When Macedonia began to conquer Greece, I characterize this as him killing off the City-States. Now obviously these places lived on, but it was still a turning point in Greek history, and I think eventually Macedonia would go after Helene - to become the "true" Greek World - and Helene would kill him in turn.

This is when Helene takes on a lot more responsibility. She becomes more a warrior and get into politics. This is also around the time where she and Persia have their final match and she kills him.

Greece is born around this time. Either he pops out of the ground and she finds him, or she actually gives birth to him. I headcanon he comes out of the ground. Either way, he is her and Persia's son and is born during the Hellenistic Period. (What will eventually become Iran is also born of this union and Idk if Helene had any contact with her at this time)

Gonna skip forward a bit to her relationship with Rome. Rome is a complex relationship. They did deeply love each other, Rome more so. He would call her the Venus to his Mars. That said, he still cheated on her frequently, and she could never truly forgive him for taking over her. Still, they were married. They were a devoted, loving couple. She was a vital part of him and his muse in many respects. And she helped raise his children. Romano was her son with Rome, and she was one of Veneziano's mothers (Vene has two mothers, her and Gaul, and Rome is obviously his father.)

(Rome tried to bring Gaul back home once and Helene shut that shit down quickly.)

She lived off and on between her house in her homelands and Rome's villa. I don't know where Greece was at the time, although a part of me wants to say Greece was not allowed to be raised in Rome's home with his sons. So possibly Greece spent most of his time when he and his Mama would visit Rome living with the servants and Helene would be sure to visit him throughout the day and make sure he was doing alright. When they would return to her home she would make sure she could be as openly affectionate with him as possible.

The "Divorce" happens when she becomes the Eastern Roman Empire, which Rome wasn't exactly a fan of. She moved to Constantinople with Greece, though she and Rome may have sometimes had secret trysts.

I have this imagine in my head that when he died she found his body and slipped his bloody helmet off of his head and placed it on her own. She renamed herself the Byzantine Empire and took on a new human name, Lavinia. The ancient of wife of Aeneas.

Also, as Byzantine she marries Kievan Rus (Olga) or at least they become a couple for a while, which makes her technically Ukraine, Russia, and Belarus's other mother. There was some love there, but their relationship was strained. She was not much of a mother to Rus's kids as well, though Ukraine has memories of Mama Byzantine and how powerful and glorious she was.

As for Romano and Veneziano, both were territories for her at a time, but I think she would have left them in their respective territories to be educated/raised by their people in charge. They are just a reminder of their father and what he did to her, though she does miss them and sometimes visit them. I think losing Romano would've been harder on her than losing Veneziano. Romano was always her favorite of the two, plus the loss of Southern Italy was different than the loss of Venice. She willingly gave Veneziano indepdence. Romano she held onto for a long time but eventually lost.

...Plus little Veneziano would eventually take the attitude of "Fuck You This Is Mine Now" and played a part in her weakening when he not only funded a trip to reinstate a deposed Byzantine prince but then looted and pillaged Constantinople when he didn't get his money back and took some more of her lands. Bad Veneziano. Sit in your corner and think about what you've done (I genuinely don't know how this works with his canon personality but this did all happen irl) (also yes I see Veneziano as Venice because I find that to make the most sense and be coolest for his character)

And then we fast forward to her eventual death at the hands of Turkey. Do I think he loved her? ...I think he was in awe of her. I think he loved the idea of her. I think he looked at her history and I think he wished that he could be like her or wished that he could be with her. But also, he did kill her. In my imagery laden mind he finds her under an olive tree and killed her there. Maybe there was a fight. Maybe she finally accepted it.

tl;dr: Helene starts as the heir to a power vacuum after the death of her father, but instead of taking charge and responsibility she spends her time doing as she pleases and learning while the city-states handle things. Until Macedonia roles up and she kills him before he can kill her and she takes charge, she kills her rival and sometimes lover Persia and he gives her her greatest treasure Herakles, her son. And also has a daughter that she doesn't interact with much. She marries Rome to survive and forms a loving, if dysfunctional marriage and has another son Romano, and there's also Veneziano who is her son with Rome but also Gaul. When Rome is killed she takes her place as the Byzantine empire and spends years just trying to survive and adapt and persevere until finally she accepts her death at the hands of Turkey.

For personality headcanons: I characterize her being motivated by a fear of death to collect as many skills as possible and adapt to her surroundings. The Greeks HATED talking about death and I think that would bleed over into her actual beliefs. I think she rarely, if ever, let herself die, because she was always afraid that she would die for the final time.

By the end of her life she is a full on genius. Math, language, astronomy, art, philosophy, even music and theatre. She had this insatiable curiosity and need to learn that sometimes overtook her best instincts of survival.

Physical Headcanons: 6'0'' because I can. Her body fluctuates between incredibly muscular, on the thicker side, and thin from weakness over her many years of life. For some basic ages: By the the she kills Persia she is physically in her early twenties. Late twenties when she marries Rome. Early thirties when she takes over as Byzanties. Early-Mid forties at her death (Turkey is into Milfs).

This is what I think she would have looked like probably around the time she married Rome. It is missing a few details. She's not as tanned as I imagine her, she doesn't have the moles I imagine her having, and I couldn't get her nose right-I imagine she has a hooked nose.

[blood-mocha-latte]

Fandom positivity ask! 1, 3, 12, and 28!

linh truly you are. the number one. forever and always and also for all time <3

~ hbowar positivity asks ~

1 - what is your fav part about being in the fandom?

people are NICE and people are TALENTED. holy shit. it's like being friends with someone that has the skills of picasso and the kindness of our lord and savior jesus christ. which is blasphemous but TRUE

3 - what are some fics that you go back and read again and again?

oh man i am a rereading BITCH i could be here all day. but for top three i would have to gooo

Knit Us Together by @almost-a-class-act - truly the mvp boss of luztoye fics. Thee Perfect Fic it's truly art simple as that. i licherally reread it like. yesterday and am now making my wife read it. sam watch out for that because she's handwriting all her thoughts for me to show you because. oh my GOD everyone go read it

The Last Voyage by @ep6bastogne - VASTLY underrated baberoe fic. the perfect blend of human sunshine babe and tired but Good gene. sad and funny and good and i will admit that i cried. @mutantmanifesto made some GORGEOUS art for this very fic on this very day, because it's That Good

Before the Fall of Rome by @educationalporpoises - quite literally could NOT have asked for a better fucking secret santa. zee slayed. zee knocked it so out of the park that no one is yet to find the ball. it's luztoye and ancient history and reunions and truly what else do you need? 10/10

12 - songs that you associate with certain mutuals?

ohoho, this is where it gets LONG. sorry about that friends. under the cut because i have a lot to say and the time to say it, which is a bad combination

@lamialamia - linh my beloved. my darling. don't kill me but you are never gonna give you up by rick astling. not only are you catchy wonderful and always brightening up my notes, but i both never want to give you up nor let you down

@almost-a-class-act - guiding light by mumford and sons because truly what would the luztoye people do without you. die i think. you are the guiding light. the OG. thee #1

@dcyllom - dance the night by dua lipa because MOLLY whatever can i say other than you are the number one cheerleader of the modern webgott divorced two times au. you light up this world truly. this song fills me with joy and so do you

@whollyjoly - read my mind by the killers. because em you. you read my Mind on many occasion it must be said. same brain at times. how's mash going

@ewipandora - cheap thrills by sia because everytime you reblog literally anything i quite literally go ooOOOOH. you have an awesome beat good words Fascinating person. ewi i am holding your hand

@educationalporpoises - the baby shark song. zee i just see your pfp and i just immediately think of this song. i've never even heard it in it's entirety the lovely lyrics just run through my head whenever i'm lucky enough to see you on the dash <3

i have so many more mutuals that i love and adore but i do not have a mind for songs!! hugs and kisses to all

28 - what's something that lives in your brain rent free and you want everyone to know about the show/the fandom/your works?

portuguese luz. portuguese luz. do i have to say anything else. that is what everyone should know. that is number one. some good fucking food <3

[artschoolglasses]

get to know a blogger // tagged by @dinluke​  ❤️✨

Share your wallpaper:

(Because of course.)

Last song you listened to:

Blood Upon the Snow - Hozier

Currently reading:

Random self-pub low-key Regency era fantasy book that was on sale? 😅

Last movie:

Oh god, do I even watch movies anymore? Probably Pride and Prejudice. (Matthew Macfadyen awkward Darcy 🖤)

Last show:

The Mandalorian. (Eh. Like I’ve said, mostly just watching for Katy O’Brian at this point.)

Or I guess Critical Role? This doesn’t specify TV show, so...

Craving:

The vegan pho from the place down the street...

What are you wearing right now:

Black t-shirt with the phases of the moon on it, skinny jeans, baggy green cardigan.

How tall are you:

5'4

Piercings:

Both ears, nose, conch, and tragus (Oh my god the crunching noise the needle makes when it goes through your tragus I will never forget that.)

Tattoos:

Star on my wrist

Old school looking bird on my back

Glasses? Contacts?

Glasses. My eyes are terrible.

Last thing you ate:

... A piece of chocolate mochi.

Favorite color:

Green! All the shades. Especially sage green and deep, dark forest green.

Current obsession:

Assassin’s Creed, Valhalla in particular, but also Odyssey. Eivor and Kass, my loves.

History, as always. (18th Century, French, Regency, witch trials, occult, Ancient Greece, Ancient Rome, fashion and textiles, art...)

Hozier, of course.

Sumo! Been loving watching sumo lately. Want a fantastic sport to get into? Go watch sumo! Oh my god. I love it. (GO ENHO!!!😤)

Any pets:

Two cats. Nell, who is a demonic trash gremlin (named for Nell Gwynn), and Heidi who hates everyone and would rather you never disturb her as she curls up in her quiet corner please and thank you.

Favourite fictional character:

Eivor.

You want me to pick just one? It’s Eivor.

The last place you travelled:

Well, driving out to Montreal, but proper hop-on-a-plane and go somewhere not in your own back yard? Tokyo.

i am tagging (no pressure!): uh... @tiny-librarian​ @vikingnerd793​ @vivelareine​ @wunderschon-lieblich​ and... I dunno, if we’re mutuals, go for it? Or if we’re not but you’ve just seen this and feel like it/are super bored, go for it. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[thxnews]

UK-Italy Relations: UK Deputy Prime Minister Speech

  Pontignano Conference, Siena, Italy.

Transcript of the speech, exactly as it was delivered. Ladies and gentlemen, at the risk of derailing what The Economist has rightly called the ‘blossoming’ relationship between the United Kingdom and Italy, perhaps you’ll permit me to say: Vorrei ringraziare tutti voi di essere qui stasera, in questa bellissima citta, in questa antica e famosa universita. Grazie di cuore. Thank you to the Rector, for welcoming us to this fine seat of learning. Thank you Mayor, for your very warm welcome to your wonderful city, which is so beloved of my fellow Brits. Thank you to Lord Willetts and Carlo Calenda, for your leadership of Pontignano… and for all you do to nurture the close friendship between our nations. And thank you – above all – to all of you for being here. You all believe in the importance of this relationship between the United Kingdom and Italy. Important, not just because of our friendship, culture and our long shared history. But because you are strong believers in how much more we can achieve together as modern European nations facing the same challenges: from supporting Ukraine in its fight for freedom to confronting economic and energy security challenges to tackling illegal migration. And you know that to succeed, we must address them together. The number of my colleagues attending this conference demonstrates that this is certainly the view of the British Government. (Although it would perhaps be an exaggeration to say that they took a lot of persuading to come to Siena!). Their presence is a testament to the United Kingdom’s determination to drive forward a new strategic partnership between London and Rome. Now our topic for this year’s Pontignano is ‘Adapting to technological change’. But before I say a few words on that, let me take a step back and look at our relationship with Italy – to take stock, as diplomats like to say. A turning point. My counterpart, Antonio Tajani, said at the start of the year that relations between the UK and Italy were ‘at a turning point.’ And he was right. Look at the situation that confronts us: war in Europe threats to our energy and our food supplies climate change irregular migration, across the Mediterranean and the Channel. And all of it underpinned by the onward march of technology. Set against that backdrop, it is surely no wonder that our two countries - sharing so many interests whose strengths complement each other in so many ways - should seize this moment to work more closely together. And that is exactly what we are doing. A longstanding friendship. We are, of course, building on a very strong foundation. The ties between our peoples go back centuries – indeed all the way back to ancient Rome and through the Renaissance. More recently - 80 years ago, British Forces landed at Salerno, as part of their central role in the liberation of this country. And next year we will mark the 80th anniversary of Anzio and Monte Cassino. Today, the bonds between us are thriving and vibrant. And there is also a mutual respect and affection between our peoples – epitomised in Italians’ moving reaction to the death of our late Queen a year ago. And your enthusiasm at the Coronation of King Charles III earlier this year. Indeed our new Monarch loves Italy, as he himself told an Italian television crew in the Mall the night before he was crowned. So there is a rich tapestry of ties between us. And that vibrant partnership is an invaluable source of strength, as we face together the most challenging set of circumstances in many decades. Until recently, perhaps the defining political moment of my generation was the 9th November 1989 – the date that the Berlin Wall came down and liberty rolled across our continent. Now a new date is inscribed in our memories. The 24th February 2022 – the date Russian tanks rolled into Ukraine and its missiles rained down on Ukrainian cities. The events of that day, and every day since, have reminded us of some old truths. The need for strong defence to deter war. The need to stand up to aggression today, or risk greater aggression tomorrow. The need for friends and allies to stick together and stand up for what we believe in. Every day since the invasion, that is exactly what the United Kingdom and Italy have done – as G7 partners and leading members of NATO. Let me pay tribute to Italy’s response. You have been at Kyiv’s side every step of the way. And I am proud of the role that Britain has played and will continue to play, for as long as it takes. If anyone doubted Britain’s enduring commitment to European security, you have your answer, not just in our words, but in our actions. And as we sit here tonight, in this cradle of European civilisation, let us spare a thought for the people of Ukraine, a fellow European country, who face another night in bomb shelters or on the front line. Forging a new relationship between the UK and Italy – real momentum… It is not just on Ukraine, however, that cooperation has been galvanised between our two countries. There is a real determination to make this relationship between Britain and Italy count for more, to be more than the sum of its parts. Take a look at the last nine months: In December our Prime Ministers signed – with their Japanese counterpart – the Global Combat Air Programme to build a new generation of combat aircraft together. In February, our Defence and Trade Secretaries signed agreements forging ever closer relations. And then in April, our Prime Minister was delighted to welcome PM Meloni to Downing Street where they signed an ambitious Memorandum of Understanding - covering issues from national security to cultural ties. The agreement also covered another subject on which our countries share the same challenge: illegal migration. This is a challenge that is political, societal, criminal. Our electorates demand that we deal with it, and we must. We both share the same sense of urgency – and albeit at different ends of Europe, we are facing the same phenomenon: Large numbers of arrivals by sea. Unscrupulous traffickers in human lives. The death traps into which they place innocent  women and children. The tragedies in the dark waters off the Channel,  off Lampedusa or the Calabrian coast. So we are significantly expanding our cooperation together. Working together in bodies such as the G7 and the Council of Europe. Adapting to technological change. In so doing, we will, of course, be taking advantage at every opportunity of new technologies – the theme of this Pontignano. I am delighted that British scientists will once again be able to collaborate with those in Italy and across Europe as part of the Horizon programme. And, as a Minister from the country that invented the steam engine, speaking in the land of Marconi, I know how well both our countries know the revolutionary power of technology. And the list of technologies that have fundamentally altered the course of human history is relatively short: fire, metals, the printing press, the combustion engine, electricity, fission, the internet. All of these tools have been bent to achieve a step-change in the pace of human progress. And now I believe that we are on the cusp of another such inflection point, one that has the potential to make the pace of progress supersonic: Artificial Intelligence, or more specifically, the advent of artificial general intelligence, represents, at once the most exciting and the most daunting challenge of our age. Exciting, because there is an opportunity, as our PM has put it, for human progress that could surpass the industrial revolution in both speed and depth. For game-changing innovations in all aspects of our lives: unthinkable advances in medicine cures for cancer and dementia growing crops to feed the world… or solving climate change. But also daunting. Not only will AI expedite and intensify the existing threat landscape, in Artificial General Intelligence, humans face the potential of a technology that surpasses both the capability of our collective endeavour, and the limits of our understanding. We have to accept that the answer to many of our questions about the AI frontier will be ‘we don’t yet know’. We do not yet know what these machines might be capable of. What we do know is that, to date, the limits of human progress have been capped by the sum of our collective intelligence. By adding to that sum with AI - at potentially dizzying scales - we will redraw the bounds of what we previously thought possible. But, as scary - and exciting - as that is, it should not be a barrier to our exploration. But it does mean that we need a new approach to regulation. One that iterates to build faith in the systems that will come to underpin so many aspects of our lives. This approach will involve active and ongoing collaboration between Governments, Al labs and academics, amongst others. Many organisations outside of national Governments, in particular private companies - including those in Italy - have been pivotal to the most recent advances in AI. I know that many such companies are taking part in Pontignano this year. And these collaborations will be crucial to ensure the safe and reliable development and deployment of frontier AI throughout the world. The United Kingdom is acutely aware of the importance of this moment – and of the need to act swiftly and with resolve. Domestically, the Prime Minister has asked me to chair a Resilience sub-committee of the National Security Council, which will be taking a methodical approach to assessing the risks of AI. And internationally, our forthcoming AI Summit at Bletchley Park in November will aim to agree how we can collaborate on frontier AI safety: to agree a shared assessment of the frontier risks as well as share some of the best examples from around the world of how AI is being used to improve lives. Already, the UK has been working with industry leaders such as Google DeepMind, OpenAI and Anthropic, who will give us unprecedented access to their products and models. So that we can mitigate against the risks, and take advantage of the opportunities. The importance of their cooperation cannot be overstated. We need them to ensure that our frontier systems are aligned with human objectives. And we need them to ensure that they are deployed safely, Because - ultimately - we need end users to have confidence in these transformative tools. The Summit is an important forum to begin to address these questions. But it is only one of the first steps in a very long journey. We look forward to working with our colleagues in the Italian Government and across the world. Together we have a huge stake – for our countries, as for the sake of humanity. So my message is a simple one: it is vital that we work together to make AI safe. I look forward to discussing this collaboration with you at this conference. And to our colleagues in the Italian Government. Let me say that the United Kingdom sees Italy as a crucial partner in helping us to achieve this goal. We look forward to working very closely with you on this, and on other shared priorities, from migration to economic security to climate, as you assume the Presidency of the G7 next year. So, there is plenty here for this year’s Pontignano to discuss. This medieval city is famed - not just for its beauty - but for its enduring identity, its spirit and its character through the centuries. Famous too for Lorenzetti’s 14th century frescos at the Palazzo Publicco - not far from here - depicting the tenets of good government, and the consequences of bad government. So this is an ideal and inspiring place for such discussions – a city which has long stood for humanity’s ability to solve apparently intractable problems. A city which centuries ago understood the importance of developing a legal and political framework by which society can be governed in the best interests of the wider community. I like to think that if Ambrogio Lorenzetti were here today, he might recognise some of the dilemmas modern democracies are wrestling with as we seek the right way forward. A few hundred metres from here, there is the famous pavement in the Duomo – the intricate work of artisans here in Siena many centuries ago. At the other end of Europe, in London, there is another pavement – the famous Cosmati pavement, laid by British and Italian craftsmen in Westminster Abbey in 1268. One of the earliest examples of what Britons and Italians can achieve together when they put their minds to it. It was on precisely that pavement, watched by the entire world, that our new Sovereign was crowned in May. Let that be the spirit in which we embark on this Pontignano, and usher in a new chapter of British-Italian endeavour for the good of both our nations, of Europe and for the good of the world.   Sources: THX News, Cabinet Office & The Rt Hon Oliver Dowden CBE MP. Read the full article

[biblioflyer]

I think one weird point is your analysis is when you cite other eras and cultures having jumbled mythology stories and then say humans are cheesy…. Perhaps humans are diverse and there has been and will be a minority(?) population who are not cheesy and who are tired of ALL that shit. If I were in Ancient Rome I would be bitterly complaining about the fake histories and lack of interest in the exact cut and dry truth and what it tells us instead of entertaining (and obscuring) fictions. Especially when those fictions were being taken as history by many and tended to teach specific ideologies that weren’t even been seen as being driven in by those story-vehicles. I have always hated and will always be tired of cheese. Don’t feel like it’s the position of a lesser mind who needs to change it’s just a different feeling.

This is a fair observation. I get the exhaustion with motifs and devices that feel contrived or played out. This was my experience of mid-2000s “edgy” works like Battlestar Galáctica or Heroes. These are definitely two shows that had me grinding my teeth by their third seasons because I felt like what I was given wasn’t what I signed up for. What I enjoyed at the beginning felt increasingly distant.

I’ve also been incredibly annoyed by certain aspects of how Disney Plus has handled action sequences featuring “minion” type enemies in Star Wars and the way that beskar seems to magnetically attract blaster bolts. It has often felt like a rail shooter on trivial difficulty spliced onto a mostly interesting plot.

So I get it. I wouldn’t be as interested in the weeds of world building if I didn’t think there was something rich to be gained from taking this stuff seriously. I keep referencing “The Drumhead” a lot because I think it really shows what Trek is capable of when it pushes itself. Yet that’s also not all Star Trek is. It mixes and matches itself with a lot of other genres and frequently the outcome is a very Whovian loose approach to continuity and a fair bit of mirth.

Part of looking at Trek as a sort of modern oral storytelling tradition is my own way of accepting the artificiality of it. Trek has been a very meaningful part of my life from my earliest memories and I’m not without some very strong opinions about what is and isn’t “good” Star Trek, they just happen to be more oriented towards themes and the setting’s moral assumptions than whether the fan service is over the top or there are obvious continuity errors or oversights. I recognize these things but I don’t experience them as particularly irksome. Usually.

While I love many properties that take themselves deadly seriously, The Expanse for instance, I just realize it’s only one storytelling style that Trek engages with. After spending many a year griping about canon on Spacebattles and Stardestroyer.net, I got to a place where I found no joy in the hot take. I still love a well crafted head canon to “fix” a blunder, but now I take a look at continuity violations and cheese and ask myself whether it serves a purpose or if there was a better, more consistent and less cringe way to go about things.

Having said that, if I’m not mistaken my next rewatch is what I consider to be the worst episode of Picard season one, maybe the whole series. So I have limits although I make it a point of pride to hold my opinions loosely. I want to reevaluate Picard because I suspect and have found much that appeals to the serious, contemplative fan in me that I think is tragically and frequently lost in the fandom civil wars.

But if I have failed to make it clear, I think Star Trek belongs to both the Memory Alpha contributors and the people who unironically like the Abrams films. I have no beef with serious fans who prefer the crunchy side of sci-fi as long as we can have a mutual understanding that this setting contains multitudes and there’s a very important line between rendering critique of an entertainment property and treating each other unkindly for liking different thing.

When I tease the archetype of the reactionary fan or the person who too literally wants it to be a documentary of the future, this is really directed at a type of person who is not reflective about their own preferences and feels the need to be abusive to other fans or otherwise tend to get rather hyperbolic beyond any sense of proportionality. If that doesn’t sound like you, then we are part of the same rowdy team.

[drosera-nepenthes]

A Royal Recluse: Princess Clotilde

Just at the time when, in consequence of the weakness and folly of the republican government, certain French Monarchists are looking to Prince Victor Napoleon Bonaparte as the possible savior of their country, the Prince, whose marriage to Princess Clementina of Belgium recently brought him before the public, was watching by the deathbed of his mother, Princess Clotilde of Savoy, who breathed her last on June 25. The story of this royal lady is a pathetic one and, apart from the interest that is attached to her as the mother of the imperial candidate to the French throne, her personal character was one of rare beauty.

She was the daughter of Victor Emmanuel II, first King of Italy, and of Adelaide, Archduchess of Austria, and was born at Turin on March 2, 1843. Her mother died in 1855, leaving five young children, of whom Clotilde was the eldest, the others being Humbert, the future King of Italy ; Amadeo, Duke of Aosta ; Maria Pia, the queen dowager of Portugal, and a son who died in childhood. The Queen of Sardinia (Victor Emmanuel had not at that time laid violent hands on the independent states of Italy) was an exemplary wife and mother, and her orphan daughters were carefully educated by the attendants whom she had placed about them.

Never was a princess more ruthlessly sacrificed to political interests than the eldest princess of Savoy. When a mere child of sixteen, Clotilde was chosen to cement the alliance between France and Sardinia, and was promised in marriage to Prince Napoleon Jerome, nephew of Napoleon I and first cousin Napoleon III, the reigning sovereign. Princess Clotilde was connected with the Bourbons, her very name was French and was given to her in memory of the French Princess Marie Clotilde, sister of Louis XVI, who married a King of Sardinia ; but allied as she was by close ties of blood to the Bourbons, she had nothing in common with the Bonapartes who occupied their place, and a more ill-assorted couple never existed than the middle-aged, violent, cynical and free-thinking Prince Napoleon and the daughter of the most ancient royal house in Europe, who traditions and surroundings were strictly conservative and religious. Their marriage took place at Turin on January 30, 1859. The bride was sixteen and the bridegroom thirty-seven. He had a handsome presence and was intelligent and well informed and well informed, but neither his private life nor his freely expressed opinions on public matters made him estimable or lovable. His attitude with regard to his cousin, the Emperor, was one of constant opposition, and it was reported that his anti-religious views led him to take part in the banquets organized by a group of free thinkers on Good Friday. Under the Second Empire the French Government was officially Catholic, and Prince Napoleon's hostile and aggressive attitude was pronounced ill-bred, if not worse. Throughout France he was distinctly unpopular.

The young bride, married to this unsympathetic nephew of the great Napoleon, probably had few illusions as to the sum of happiness that awaited her in her new home. There are still some old men living who remember her when she took possession of the Palais Royal, Prince Napoleon's Paris house.: a slight, pale girl, with fluffy, fair hair and bright eyes, not pretty but singularly attractive. Her high breeding stood her in good stead in the somewhat parvenu atmosphere of the Court of the Tuileries, she had a royal dignity all her own, and her simplicity of heart was combined with much quiet firmness. From the first she ordered her life according to the principles in which she had been educated. An early riser, even at the Palais Royal, she gave much time to prayer and to works of mercy, but her piety, says M. Emile Ollivier, a former minister of Napoleon II, “never made her tiresome or intolerant. She believed that the most useful sermon was the practice of the virtues that are taught by faith.” Her husband, although so widely apart from her, acknowledged her goodness. “Clotilde is a saint,” he sometimes said ; “if there were many like her, I believe I myself should end by becoming devout.”

When the disastrous war of 1870 brought terror and shame upon France, the Princess was in Paris. During that fatal month of August every day came news of a fresh defeat, and the revolution that was to break out on the 4th of September was already distinctly perceptible; the infuriated and terrified people made the imperial government responsible for the reverses that so keenly wounded their patriotic pride.

Princess Clotilde was alone at the Palais Royal ; her husband was with the army, her three children she sent to Switzerland, where Prince Napoleon had an estate; but she steadily refused to leave Paris while the Empress Eugénie remained at the Tuileries. There was not much personal sympathy between the two; it was Princess Clotilde's feeling of loyalty that chained her to the post danger as long as there was a semblance of imperial government in Paris.

In vain her husband wrote imperious messages bidding her join her children at Prangins; in vain her father sent the Marquis Spinela to Paris to escort her ; the Princess so yielding in everyday life, was unbending in her decision to remain at the palace as long as the lonely woman at the Tuileries was the nominal ruler of France ; she had shared the splendors of the Empire, and it went against her noble spirit to desert the Empress.

The letter this young woman, a stranger in a strange land, wrote to her father on August 25, 1870, has been quoted by the French papers. It is a right royal letter worthy of the daughter of kings:

“I am a French woman,” she says. “I cannot desert my country. When I married although so young, I knew what I was doing and if I did it, it was because I wished to do so. The interest of my husband, of my children and of my country require that I should remain here. The honor of my name, your honor, my dear father, and that of my country also demand it. Nothing will make me fail in what I believe to be my duty to the end... You know that the house of Savoy and fear have never gone together, and you would not wish that they should meet in my person.”

At last, when the Empress was driven from her palace by the mob, the Princess considered that she was free to follow, but how different was the departure of the two women!

The brilliant and beautiful sovereign, closely disguised, was only able to leave Paris owing to the assistance of her American dentist, Dr. Evans; her young cousin made her exit as a princess. In an open carriage, accompanied by her lady in waiting, she drove to the railway station in broad daylight. The excited people, awed by her courage and dignity, saluted her as she passed out of their sight, a truly royal and saintly figure.

Princess Clotilde lived for some years at Prangins, near Geneva, where she devoted herself to the education of her three children; then, when her husband was allowed to return to France, the difficulties of her married life were such that by mutual consent she retired to the Castle of Moncalieri, near Turin, with her young daughter. Here, in the home of her childhood, she spent nearly forty years. They were years of peace, largely marked by sorrow. Four times only did she emerge from her retreat, once in January 1878, when she heard that her father lay dangerously ill in Rome. She had suffered cruelly from the spoliation of the Holy See by the house of Savoy, and the remembrance of her father's part in the matter prompted her to fly to his bedside. On the way she heard that he was dead, and she sadly returned to Moncalieri. In 1891, she again started for Rome, this time to visit her husband, who lay dying at the Hotel de Russie. Those who saw the Princess during those solemn days can never forget her sweetness, earnestness and gentle patience. What passed between her and Prince Napoleon none can tell, but Cardinal Mermillod a frequent visitor to the sick room, professed himself satisfied, after two private interviews, that the dying man was fully conscious. The Princess, whose married life, it is well known, had been a via crucis, remained near him to the end, praying incessantly for the soul that probably owes its salvation to her intercession. Again in 1903 and in 1904, she left Moncalieri to visit her sister-in-law, Princess Mathilde Bonaparte, whose deathbed she attended.

Her life, as it neared the end became more and more that of a recluse. Her sons lived their own lives in Brussels and in Russia; her daughter, having married a Prince of Savoy, was near to her, and their visits, occasionally brought an element of joy into the silent castle. Last autumn, Prince Victor Napoleon's marriage to the Princess Clémentine of Belgium gladdened his mother's heart. It was celebrated at Moncalieri, and to those who attended the ceremony the most striking figure present was the slight, gray-haired lady, plainly dressed in black, whose eyes had the far-away look of those who are nearing the eternal shore. Even in the days of her youth Princess Clotilde's spirituality struck M. Emile Ollivier. It gave her, he says a singular insight into all questions that touch on right and wrong; she possessed the gifts of the true mystics, “who judge human affairs with a clearness and rectitude born of detachment.” Her chief link with the outer world during the long, silent years of old age was her love for the poor, to whom she gave royally, with a loving kindness that made her gifts more precious. Their grief was great when they heard of her death, and their prayers will follow her remains to the royal mausoleum of La Superga, near Turin, where the daughter of the Sardinian Kings sleeps with her ancestors.

America. United States, America Press, 1911.

[new-endings]

chicken

--

crowley’s very cautious and wary about their newfound freedom, what with upstairs and downstairs leaving them to their own devices for the first time. he’s torn between savoring and basking in aziraphale's time and attention without the constant need to look over their shoulders or assuage the angel's fears about being seen together--

 but also has that tentative anxiety that bubbles up inside him. he knows how he feels. he's felt it since the wall of the garden and had known its name since rome.

 he loves aziraphale.

 desperately.

 but every time he's come close to pry those feelings out into the open, aziraphale (quite panickily and abruptly) denies, denies, denies.

 and crowley understands. he always does and he will always go at aziraphale's pace. he never wants to be the one to spook the angel away from him for good. sure, aziraphale always comes back into his life one way or another, but after all this time--

 he's not sure if he's ready to have his heart thrown back at his face again. not when there's literally nothing stopping them from being more other than aziraphale himself.

and then it appears. one day, out of the cold, grey sky, right in his apartment. 

a chicken. 

("it's a rooster, crowley, just look at its lovely comb!" "you’re telling me it’s a cock, angel. but it looks more like a prick if you ask me.") 

and it refused to leave crowley alone.

 crowley knows it's some kind of satanic punishment from downstairs. no matter what he does, no matter how many crashes he makes at the M25 to simply lose it, the bloody thing won't go away.

 and the worst part?

 it's completely smitten with aziraphale.

 aziraphale, naturally, is delighted with its presence in return.

 crowley warned him against getting too close to it; downstairs might be trying to spy on them through its beady little chicken eyes.

 aziraphale chides him and says that the chicken doesn't even feel evil. not a whiff of fire and brimstone on it. meanwhile, the chicken-- rooster-- is more than content to make a nuisance of itself in aziraphale's bookstore while crowley visits.

 naturally, it makes itself right at home on crowley's favorite sofa.

 "i could roast it in some fire and brimstone," crowley mutters, ignoring the high-pitched squawk that follows. "that'll teach it."

 the chicken also does this unnerving and completely annoying trick where if crowley's silently admiring the angel-- something he's done for millennia with or without the glasses-- it would do these soft little peeps and trills that completely ruined his angel-watching when said angel would look up from his book and coo at the nasty little bird.

 the thing almost looked smug.

 "you're not jealous are you dear?" aziraphale asked him once after the third-- no fourth-- time.

 yes. "of what? being the colonel's next victim? ‘fraid not, angel."

 the bloody thing started crowing obnoxiously at that, fluttering restlessly.

 "oh dear, i think you've offended it."

 "good. the feeling's mutual."

 ---

crowley adjusts. or at least, he does somewhat.

 it becomes routine: wake up to the incessant clucking, make a spot of trouble out of habit, and saunter his way over to the angel's bookshop, the fluttering thing in tow. there, it would spend the day nestled either in his favorite spot on the couch--

 --or the Worse alternative: nesting itself right there in the angel's soft, plush lap

 crowley feels a twinge of envy before deciding it was too embarrassing to be jealous of a chicken of all things. still, he feels the need to at least warn aziraphale: "careful there, angel. wouldn't want bird shit all over those ancient trousers, would you?"

 to which aziraphale would only roll his eyes and pat the chicken adoringly on the head. "you wouldn't do that, would you little dear?"

 the thing would chirp sweetly and crowley’s mood sours even further; fine. the damn thing can have the sofa.

 and when it gets late and the emptied bottle of wine was making all sorts of strange and funny suggestions in his head and making aziraphale's cheeks redden so prettily, crowley decides it's best to go before--

 --before...he's not sure. 

before he does something he regrets, he supposes, now that the alcohol has been (unpleasantly) miracled out of his system. so with that, he bids aziraphale farewell for the night.

 the chicken is squawking again and crowley's not sure why but all he knows is that it's much more tolerable now that he's sober.

it’s a great distraction, all things considering. distracts him from important questions that he should be focusing on.

like whether or not aziraphale has been making subtle advances at him: like asking crowley to stay longer if he'd like, sitting closer to him, touching him more regularly.

but crowley's being-- skittish. he doesn't know if he's imagining these things or if aziraphale even knows what he's doing. maybe for aziraphale, these are friendly things that he's only now indulging in. crowley knows how cold and sterile heaven is now; they're not known for their soft and friendly comforts.

 and crowley should feel honored that he wants these things from him. feels trustworthy and comfortable enough to ask these things from him

 and crowley is--

 but he wants more. wants it with such a frightening intensity. 

in a way, he's almost grateful for the clucking nightmare. its drawn aziraphale's attentions away from...whatever it is he's trying to do. 

crowley knows he can’t put it off forever-- nor does he want to. he’s just...not sure he’s ready to yet.

and he certainly wasn’t ready that night, after they share a rather lovely day that ended rather disastrously.

 he can’t say for certain whether it was the wine, the stories, or the memories they shared; it could have been the laughs, the smiles, the closeness too. but two things were certain of that night: crowley got ahead of himself and he nearly kissed aziraphale square in his lovely mouth. 

nearly.

 and the thought-- the very possibility that aziraphale would push him away after doing so-- scared him so much that he wrenched himself away almost violently

 (and in doing so, completely missed the heart broken and frustrated look on aziraphale's face)

he leaves in a daze, the sound of angry clucking following, haunting him all the way home. 

crowley spends the next month holed up in his apartment, definitely not avoiding aziraphale or anything ("shut UP you BLOODY BIRD") but catching up on some much-needed sleep after the whole apocalypse fiasco.

 he's left a voice mail on his answering machine for aziraphale to hear-- to know that this isn't forever-- but until he could...figure things out.

 figure himself out.

 and maybe when he gets this bloody chicken off his back--

 but the answering machine stays silent.

a month later, he comes back into aziraphale's shop, an apology on his tongue that he hopes is just the right amount of nonchalant that they can brush this entire fiasco under the rug.

the bloody chicken is there, as usual, and does his same song and dance of darting off to exactly where the angel has buried himself away in his books.

aziraphale is surprised to see him but looks-- nervous. unsure. he gives crowley a relieved smile and crowley hopes that their many millennia of friendship can survive what almost happened weeks ago.

crowley apologizes, but before he could finish anything past "sorry for--" aziraphale shakes his head, a patient understanding in his eyes that made crowley's chest ache terribly.

 ---

things are relatively back to normal.

 relatively.

 and crowley doesn't mean "a month ago" normal--

 he means 100 years-ago "back to normal."

 aziraphale keeps his distance; there's no more touching and their meetings are cut short. there are no more offers for luxurious bottles of wine back at his shop and there are no more requests to stay longer.

 another thing that unfortunately doesn't change is the way the chicken squawks in protest every time crowley nods and takes his leave.

 "bloody thing," he spits as it settles into the passenger seat in the bentley. "if you like him so much, why don't you stay with him?"

 he can't see the bird from his rearview mirror, but what he can see is his own question staring back at him.

crowley tells himself it will be fine. that aziraphale will be fine too. they'll get through this like they always have and it's not like his best friend is pushing him away anymore.

 there's just some. distance in between. that's all.

 there's always been some distance. crowley always went too fast for him and--

 --and maybe the angel had gone too fast for him in return.

 there's a tiny hope that buds in his chest at that, but it's torn from its roots when he comes by the next morning to a quiet bookshop and a note on aziraphale's desk addressed to him.

 crowley reads it. reads it over and over again but the words don't quite sink in and the meaning doesn't quite fully reach him until he has a chicken panicking about the bookshop like its head had just been lobbed off.

 Crowley,

 Dreadfully sorry to leave without saying goodbye. I promise I won't be long, dear fellow, but I need some time to myself. I'm also sorry for the way I've acted and I hope you'll forgive me for crossing a line. I thought-- well. It doesn't matter what I thought, really. All I know is that I've wronged you and I'm deeply sorry. The next time you see me, it is my promise that I will act appropriately.

 It is also my hope that things will be right as rain between us once again.

 Yours, always,

Aziraphale

 ((he's in france right now; paris, to be exact. crowley knows this with every fiber of his being and he can't bring himself to miracle his way over there or take the first flight, train, coach and he hates himself almost as much as he hates the way that BLASTED BIRD is crying in the empty shop.))

 --

crowley doesn't know how long he's been in the empty bookshop; just him and the blasted chicken

 (it's a lie; he's been there 43 days in counting and still no sign of the angel.)

 truth be told, he's not sure when the angel would be there and if he were to suddenly appear, what crowley could possibly say to him.

 "it's not you, it's me?" yeah, real classy crowley.

 "i would have totally snogged the living daylights outta you if i knew it was what you wanted" crass, but getting closer.

 "i've loved you for so long and believed that you'd never let yourself feel the same way that the thought of you actually reciprocating terrifies me like nothing else?" too honest.

he looks over to the bird, making itself a nest out of the sparse articles of clothing that still held aziraphale's scent, clucking sadly as it'd been for the past 2 and a half months now.

 it just misses aziraphale; just misses being close to him.

 stupid thing, crowley thinks as he leans back on aziraphale's reading chair, the note still clutched in his hand. "you love him too, don't you?"

 he was only greeted with silence as the bird cozied itself up to a forgotten 19th century coat.

 it takes maybe a week more before crowley literally slaps himself out of his stupor and gets to work.

 he was always rubbish with words, maybe almost as much so with physical affection--

 but if there's one thing he knows, it's how get a point across with actions.

 his angel's library is vast, but he knows every book from novella to tome in its walls, and he knows for certain which are his angel's favorites. he also knows that there are wards and miracles keeping all manner of riffraff and thieves from making off with his angel's precious books, but he knows the shop, the angel, trusts him with its dearest contents.

 he uses this trust to make off with a few priceless books and a few angelwing mugs.  

 from there, he goes to his flat and gathers only his finest plants, the ones who've disappointed him least and packs a few fashionable contents, gets into his car--

 and drives.

 no, not to paris, where he knows the angel needs space, where the angel is nursing a broken heart with crêpes, fine wine, and ghosts of old friends within statues and paintings.

 or hitting up every gay bar in the city but crowley refuses to think about that

  he drives throughout england, seeking a comfortable distance of just-far-enough-away from the hustle and bustle of the city and the countryside.

 there's a lovely cottage in south downs, not too far from the water, with a lovely plot of land around it, big enough for a garden.

 it's almost perfect. almost.

 and just with his plants, he'll whip it into shape until it is.

 his name is on the deed and the downpayment has been deposited to its owners’ accounts and crowley gets to work

 --

crowley got them a cottage. them.

 and it's decorated with things of them. there's a sleek, modern kitchen and a veranda that houses his best plants, and a spacious office where his throne sits, and a master bedroom with black, silken sheets.

 and alongside it, clashing hideously, lovingly, is a massive library (larger than a cottage of this size should house) filled to the brim with his angel's favorites and a few others crowley knows have been missing from his collection for centuries; there's a cluttered living room with a garish tartan quilt; there's a sitting room that houses a finely tuned piano and a harp that will sure to get the angel grimacing (and within a glass cabinet, a magician's set of cards, hat, and wand).

 but things of them don't exist separately; neither space is completely devoid of the other. angel mugs are stashed within the cabinets of the kitchen, crowley's favorite couch is situated in the living room, the joint portrait he'd commissioned leo of him and aziraphale hang in his office, crowley's personal favorites (the "funny ones") litter the vast library collection, and alongside the harp and piano is a decades-old bass and copies of the velvet underground--

 and a large tartan blanket sits atop the black, silken sheets of the master bedroom.

 even the damned chicken has a space of his own. a little doghouse and a doggy door through the kitchen and it makes itself comfortable there in the cottage as crowley slowly perfects it, so long as it does its job of picking off pests that dared to snack on the blooming garden.

 it’s a lot and perhaps too much, but crowley knows he's garbage at words and even more garbage at being honest about his feelings.

 more importantly than his own fear and pride, he wants aziraphale to know that he doesn't want distance between them. that sharing his space, his home with him is something that he wants. that, if aziraphale so desired, sharing his life with him is also on the table.

 he hopes that's what the cottage conveys. he hopes that’s what his angel will see.

 with his preparations done, he sets back off to london.

it's been a year since he's seen aziraphale now. the bookstore light is on and he can sense that ever-familiar ethereal presence. when he turns off the bentley's engine, crowley is torn between tripping over his own two feet to scramble through the doors and hyperventilating in his car.

 the excited squawking further punished him into making a choice. he opened the doors of his car and he walks inside the shop.

 he really isn’t sure what he’s expecting. a new haircut? old waistcoat and jacket foregone for some avant-garde monstrosity from parisian couture? a tattoo of a one-night's lover attached to it?

 instead, aziraphale sits there, inspecting his books with a miffed and puzzled expression.

 so focused was he with his missing favorites that he barely greets crowley with a “hello” and instead pins him with a question of "did you borrow my signed copy of les proféties?"

 crowley thinks of brushing off the comment, but the blasted chicken started up its warning-clucks. instead, he shrugs. "guilty."

 for the first time in a year, aziraphale turns to face him and crowley's knees almost buckles at how much he missed that annoyed expression in those stormy blue eyes. "and would you like to tell me why?"

 instead, crowley crosses the distance between them and wordlessly asks for his hand. "found a better place for it."

 there's a tired, guarded look on aziraphale's face but he relents with resignation and takes crowley's hand in his own.

 --

the drive over is fraught with tension. crowley wants to ask how paris was—but he knew he wouldn’t like the answer; he also knows that aziraphale would draw all the wrong conclusions if aziraphale knew where he’d been all along and did absolutely nothing to bring him home.

 so instead he lets queen blast away on the stereo and look balefully at the chicken lovingly nuzzling at aziraphale’s stomach as it made itself comfortable on his lap.

 aziraphale breaks the silence by asking how crowely was and what he’d been doing since the last he’d seen him.

 crowley didn’t know how to answer so he merely said, “you’ll find out.” those words were the closest to praying he’d come in over 6,000 years.

 when aziraphale sees the house, sees the living room, the library, the office, and garden, he understands. crowley knows this as he offers him the keys, an angelwing keychain attached to it and says, “only if you want.”

crowley suddenly finds himself with an armful of angel and he loves it. he strokes the soft, downy curls of aziraphale’s hair and murmurs apologies he didn’t know he could voice.

aziraphale’s sorry too.

 they share a kiss that should have happened a year and a month ago, a century ago, a millennium or 6 ago—

 and for the first time in over a year, there were no squawks to be heard.

--

the chicken's miraculously gone the next morning. aziraphale's heartbroken but not nearly as much as crowley-- that thing had been his companion for that lonely year after all.

 crowley still wonders if it was some kind of trick from downstairs since it'd been following him for so long. 

he gets his answer in the form of a dove. 

it appears on a low branch of an apple tree crowley is growing in their garden. it looks pointedly at him and then turns its gaze to aziraphale in the kitchen who is baking a sweet-smelling something with a happy look on his face.

 it chirps at crowley as if to say, Finally

 and flies off to other skies.

[void-tiger]

Tagged by @curiosity-killed (thanks for the tag!!)

roses or daisies:

DAISIES!!! They’re so simple and cheery have just as many colors and look delicate but are actually really tenacious? Also, how charming is Day’s Eye (and asters in general having the habit of facing eachother if they’re not turned towards the light--I think I have a picture of dahlias doing this from last autumn--and like. Star Flower. Okay, I’ll shut up now xD )

classical or lofi:

...okay so I admit I had to look this one up. But easily some of my favorite tracks are those Hidden Ones that bands plop onto their albums to fill up leftover space, but are often basically just scrapped recording or practice sessions? The bloopers and their creative process, basically. Cut to me googling and youtubing it and finding hiphop lofi and...yeah! Definitely Lofi.

(Classical vs OST and Modern Classical (that’s composed to be a lot more cinematic) just...really puts me on edge. It’s too mathematical...to put it nicely.)

So...yeah. Slow beats and something that sounds experimental or like a jamming session? It’s soothing and kinda ideal for background noise.

sunrises or sunsets:

Sunset. One, never ever gonna be a “morning person”. Forget it. Two, sunsets often have more dramatic colors and still make the landscape glow and you get to see stars peeping out vs fading. Also, y’know. I’m actually awake to appreciate it vs groggy and legit physically ill.

honey or lemon:

Honey as a condiment. Lemon for sweets flavor. (Baklava’s probably the exception...then again I haven’t had that many honey-flavored sweets, I guess? But Lemon-Poppyseed?? Definitely one of my favorites,)

coffee or tea:

Coffee. I adore tea service aesthetics and will someday probably collect them (especially the really quirky or earthen or blownglass ones vs the froufrou european ones)...buuuut, I just haven’t really had A Good Cuppa Tea much at all. There was this spiced tea I’ve had in Jordan that was AMAZING and I do like greentea (with...A LOT of sugar or honey...) but. I’ve just never really had tea. My family’s coffee drinkers, so the smell of coffee is nostalgic. (And yes, I’m basic enough that I prefer flavored, sweetened creamers; and my coffee brewed or spiced with, like, cinnamon and nutmeg, too. Or as a mocha.)

...I also have a Bad Habit of abandoning my Herbal “Teas” with the bags either left steeping too long (I have gotten better at using a timer) or while waiting for them to cool. And while I’d just really love it for Uncle Iroh to make me tea (provided he doesn’t get on my case about wanting sugar and maybe cream), the Times and Temperatures are just so dang fussy!! I...don’t think I have the patience for that.

enemies to lovers or friends to lovers:

Friends to Lovers. I just...don’t Get It with the sexual tension~ that seems to be the driving force behind enemies to lovers...I guess?? (That, and unless it’s literally on a battlefield, HARD PASS. I’ve had people try to blow off my complaints about getting repeatedly tormented as “he liiiiiikes you~” bullshit to ever be comfortable with it as anything but Legit Two Sides Of A Battle/Political Conflict. Sorry.)

But, Friends to Lovers? That Bond. And then the ...Oh. The domesticity and trust and safety. Also it is RIPE for Idiots to Lovers mutual pining xD

(bonus points if both parties decide ahead of time, “hey. even if dating doesn’t work out I still value your friendship in my life, so no pressure about ‘ruining things,’“ And then, of course, it does work out and there was nothing to be anxious about, after all.)

rainy days or sunny days:

...cop out but, overcast days with Soft Sunlight and Cloudbreaks?? I do like a clear skies sunny day, but, my eyes are also so sensitive to light that it can be painful. Rainy days can be soothing...but the rain has to be A Certain Way. Too heavy and with too much wind behind it and it can get me anxious. (My childhood home had Every Rain is Severe Weather...with no place to shelter. It’s gonna take awhile before i can appreciate it like i’d want.)

jupiter or mars:

Jupiter. GIANT. DEADLY. MARBLE (that wants to eeeaaat meeeee...) Also Pluto, and the jovian moons.

aphrodite or athena:

Athena!! She’s an ace icon, aight?? And also strikes me as...very, very Tired with everyone’s bullshit. Also...all the greek gods are kinda assholes. So. Yeah. She ain’t perfect and her characterization’s at the mercy of whatever myth in question, but generally she strikes me as practical and sensible and having Mercy...sometimes. As much as that group is capable of it, anyway...

rome or greece:

...probably Ancient Rome as a “ancient culture to explore but a YIKES (but. so is ancient greece.)” But visiting IRL in the present? Greece.

sun or moon:

Moon. I appreciate what the sun does and I do like feeling sunlight and all that...but, I’m also a night person. And I can look at the moon without risk of blindness and admire its corona and that rainbow corona you can see just a bit further out if you know where and how to look. BUT. The moon easily loses out to a starfield, especially if the light pollution and humidity are both low enough that ya get to actually see the milky way’s galaxy arm. (The irony that the sun IS our local star does not elude me.)

1920s or 1990s:

...neither?? 90s only slightly win out ‘cause I’m a ‘93 Kid and the 90s and 00s had some incredible toys and cartoons. And, idk. I still like overall pants and shorts. Always have. While a flapper dress would be “oooh pretty! starlight beading! Now OFF. Back to regular clothes for ‘Sporing or Comfy Lounging.”

blizzard or thunderstorm:

Blizzard. Also. Have you considered...thundersnow??

(Admittedly? I’ve also never been through a snowstorm that threatened by health&safety. The same cannot be said about thunderstorms when nearly every one could or would spawn tornados and severe straightline winds that could knock down trees and powerlines and sometimes even damage homes. While living in a home with NO safe place to shelter. Not even an interior closet or bathroom. NOT. FUN.)

midnight memories or made in the am:

...what?? [googles] ...OH...they’re...albums. UH. Neither?? (I don’t listen to them...?)

sage green or vanilla white:

Sage green. It’s kinda a nostalgic color somehow? Also. Just not a fan of monochrome...at all. I see it? I instantly want it to be a backdrop. Negative space. For COLOR. (jewel tones for whites/light neutrals and browns; NEONS for blacks and dark greys. Preference for Jewel Tones over Neons...wait. What was the question again??? OH YEAH..uh... I do like vanilla icecream? With rainbow sprinkles. Or...paired with hot fruit pie or cobbler. Or cookies. Um...yeah I should prolly shutup now. xD )

folklore or lover:

...I don’t...understand??? But...I like Folkslore as in...folklore??? Fairytales, Legends, Myths... (also, so frikkin ace I’m just. not ever gonna pick “lover”)

croissant or macaroon:

...why would you do this to me. I make a beeline for croissants because...Soft Flaky Buttery Bread. And they are So Good as a savory sandwich sorta thing. Easily better than english muffins or crumpets, tho biscuits have a fighting chance. But LIKE. Soft breads. My weakness as a kid.

...but a good macaroon?? It is so light and crisp and TINY and like?? how does it taste like coffee??? and berries????? (Too bad they are So EXPENSIVE. While even cheap croissants are almost always Good.)

ballgowns or pantsuits:

I like the aesthetics of a ballgown. But never the pricetag, I wouldn’t wanna live in that thing for more than an hour, tops (and. so much damn work!!) and I’m stuck looking at them Defying (boob) Physics and just...dying a little inside. With my rare It Pretty Want Pretty wilting with it. But...it’s rare that pantsuits really...look like anything. (They also look uncomfortable and yet another Wardrobe Disaster and Do I HAVE To??? if I think about...actually wearing them. But, Legs Free No Tripping...I guess??)

hades or zeus:

I only wanna EVER meet Zeus if I get to castrate the bastard and lock ‘im up where he’ll NEVER get back out. Hades, tho...I’m WATCHING you, Bub. (Why yes, I agree with Demeter on this one.)

platonic love or sensual love:

Platonic. Cuddling and Kissing are technically Sensual but, y’know what? They ain’t exclusive to sexual or romantic loves (and I just. really do not want kissing at all. MAYBE a quick kiss on the forehead or fingertips but LIKE. That’s it. And it’s cute af for...literally ANY Love Type.)

light academia or cottagecore:

Honestly? A mix between the two. Cottagecore with my charming little home with its overgrown flowerbed of wildflowers (and asters! All the asters) and produce grown in large pots or hanging baskets...and inside the walls are covered with overflowing shelves of books and knicknacks and other Neat Things. Oh, and naturally a tea service (might not actually have tea in it...) and tons of pillows and blankets, and lamps and lanterns Everywhere for warm and soft (and colorful) light to read by while music plays softly in the background. And the home smells like something I just made for Supper or Snacks, or like a food-scented candle.

-

Aaaaaand tagging @mckinlily @headspacedad @aairachnid @synergetic-prose and whoever else wants to play! No obligation to play if tagged.

[lgbtqiahistoricalromance]

LGBTQIA+ Historical Romance Novels with...Favorite Authors

If you’ve followed the blog any length of time at all, you know I make lists based on themes, the one unifying factor being LGBTQIA+ representation that happens in historical romances. I started reading historicals when I was in middle school, because my grandmother and great-aunt would trade them with one another, and back then they were usually low on heat level. I went on to collect them myself, and still have most of those in storage, but left off for various reasons over time.

By the time I came back to it all, I’d reached well into adulthood, and had gone from thinking of myself as a female with tomboy issues to realizing I was non-binary and graysexual. I didn’t feel represented by any of the main characters in those romances I’d once read so avidly, but I still wanted history with a romantic twist. So, I started exploring.

What fits me, won’t of course fit everyone, but I’d like to recommend some of my favorite LGBTQIA+ historical romance authors that I haven’t seen on similar lists in the past, and authors I’m hoping to see more from soon...Maybe it will add to readers’ TBR lists...

Alex Beecroft - I honestly have no idea why Beecroft doesn’t make more Best Of lists. The broad range of her novel settings (from ancient Crete to 18th century Transylvania to Regency ships), the amount of research, character development, and evocative language, makes her one of my favorites. I don’t think there is anything she couldn’t write about, and do it well. For those interested, she also writes contemporaries, and fantasy. My favorites are The Reluctant Berserker (role reversals from the typical warrior and bard combo), and Labyrinth (non-binary MC and a twist on an old myth).

Erastes - One of the first LGBT historical romance authors I found, this author got started by writing Harry Potter slash fiction. Favorite by this author is Muffled Drum, because it’s a lovers-to-friends-to-lovers plotline.

Ainsley Gray - This author normally publishes under other names, but their recently released Unchained came to my attention, and kept it. If you like your Victorian romances with a darker twist, this one is for you. Hoping to see more from Gray, soon.

Eliot Greyson - I know next to nothing about this author, but their Like a Gentleman (Love in Portstmouth #1) put them on my One-to Watch radar. It’s actually a novella, but packs a lot into those few pages, and makes for an adorable read.

Jude Lucens - Lucens is new on the LGBT historical romance scene, but has already managed to give the genre representation in the forms of gay, bisexual, demisexual, and polyamorous MCs. She’s also a WOC author, and has included a biracial MC in her novella/novel pairing of Gutter Roses & Behind Closed Doors: Indecent Proposals Book One.

Katherine Marlowe - I don’t know what happened to Marlowe, but after several lovely novels, she disappeared. Still, her novels are ideal for those that like low dose homophobia in their historical romances, enjoy novels with working class MCs, and she has at least two novels with POC MCs. Favorites: A Wager of Love & The Blue Ribbon.

Farah Mendlesohn - Normally an author of fantasy and science fiction (they’ve won the coveted Hugo Award), this versatile author transported us to the Regency era with some wonderful historical detail, in the delightful and affordable f/f Spring Flowering. They are also the Managing Editor for Manifold Press, which will be returning this January, with a focus on LGBT historical romances.

KA Merikan - The pen name of a duo, their highwayman novel The Black Sheep and the Rotten Apple is one of my favorite bad boy/cinnamon roll novels ever. This pair typically writes contemporary series with motorcycle gangs, but even then they manage to bring historical ghosts and details, with their series Kings of Hell MC. The Art of Mutual Pleasure is another historical, which will amuse and educate, because it deals with the historically accurate notion of illness being brought on by the loss of male essence, and aggravated by self pollution.

Ruby Moone - If Moone writes it, I read it. Moone’s gents tend to reside in the Regency era, and have been adapting in terms of historical elements and diversity. They were some of the first non-titled MCs I read, and some have disabilities and/or cope with mental illnesses. The plots have increased in tension over time, but a mainstay of Moone’s novels is that despite laws against men being together, her MCs are often supported by those around them. There are also sometimes multiple Favorites: The Wrong Kind of Angel, The Mistletoe Kiss, & Thief of Hearts

Niamh Murphy - Looking for lesbian historicals? Murphy has you covered, with loving details, and also high adventure. Her Escape to Pirate Island is a staple of the LGBT pirate genre, and you can read a free sample on her site.

Victoria Sue - Typically Sue is known for contemporary novels and babies. That said, her Regency novels The Innocent Auction and The Innocent Betrayal are two you should try. They’ve a fair dose of angst, but they also come with some good espionage and character development.

Hayden Thorne - If YA and gothic are something you’re into, Thorne’s novels are a staple. An extremely prolific writer, she has created some of the most unique plot lines of any genre, while managing to have intriguing MCs, and representation. Favorites: Ansel of Pryor House

Leandra Vane - Normally a contemporary author and librian, Vane recently published the great historical Cast From the Earth, which takes place in America’s heartland in the 19th century. Vane is another author that uses her novels to explore with MCs that have disabilities, and this novel also delves into polyamorous love.

NR Walker - Walker is actually known for her contemporary m/m romances, and is one of the rare temp authors that I read a lot, because she includes so much research and detail. Recently, she made the leap into historicals though, with the fantastic Nova Praetorian, which takes place in ancient Rome.

Kelley York - In the past, some of you may have read York’s contemporary YA work, but she’s begun publishing about her beloved Victorian era gothic tastes, too. The Dark is the Night series is co-written with her wife, and I’ve been relishing the two novels that have come out so far. It even comes with its own artwork, and playlist.

Of course, there are the mainstays of the genre, authors that have gone above and beyond on bringing LGBTQIA+ representation to the historical romance reader: Keira Andrews, Joanna Chambers, KJ Charles, Charlie Cochrane, Bonnie Dee, Summer Devon, Jordan L Hawk, Ava March, EE Ottoman, and Cat Sebastian.

[kabane52]

Papal Primacy, Ecumenism, and Orthodox Tradition

On October 21, 1997, Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew of Constantinople, not generally known for being radically anti-Western, sought to explain the nature of the rupture between East and West. After forty years of official participation in the ecumenical movement by the Roman Catholic Church, early hopes about a swift restoration of communion had generally been tempered, and questions had arisen about what conditions undergirded the apparent lack of progress. The Ecumenical Patriarch denied that the problem was merely one of “organizational structures” or “jurisdictional arrangements.” The question, that is, was not simply a superficial question about the particular powers that the bishop of Rome would have vis-à-vis the Christian East. These questions, the Patriarch suggested, were indicative of something deeper: in a millennium of separation, “the manner in which we exist has become ontologically different.” In order to have any potential for lasting success, a restoration of communion demanded a “transfiguration and transformation towards one common model of life.”[1] It will be argued that such a common model of life can be found in the recognition of the absolute mutual complementary of primacy and collegiality as well as the authentically petrine and jurisdictional character of the Roman universal primacy. Nevertheless, given the catholic character of apostolic tradition, it will be seen that the specific manner in which this primacy is defined by the First Vatican Council is incompatible with any legitimate reintegration of Christian life.

In order to demonstrate these theses, I will attempt to isolate which aspects of current Roman Catholic teaching on the papacy constitute actual barriers to the restoration of communion. Then, I will examine the historical evidence in order to lay the foundation for an alternative conception of primacy in the Church, focusing especially on the evidence of ecumenical councils acknowledged as common authorities by Orthodox and Catholics alike. In order to do this successfully, one must first understand the nature of the tradition to which all apostolic Christians[2] profess allegiance. In understanding the nature of tradition more deeply, one can probe particular dogmatic claims and assess their relationship to that tradition.

In order to understand the way in which papal primacy operates in a contemporary context, it is important to distinguish between the primacy as it is manifested prudentially and the primacy as it is understood dogmatically. The conflation of these two modes of understanding can create ambiguity about the actual conditions for unity and impede the path towards clear and productive dialogue. In his famous Ut Unum Sint, Pope John Paul II invited Christian theologians of other traditions “to engage with me in a patient and fraternal dialogue on [the exercise of the primacy]”[3] while acknowledging that certain actions of the popes in the past had contributed to the rupture. As important as this call genuinely is, its significance can be overstated. In the process of arguing that there really are no significant theological reasons for the ongoing separation, David Bentley Hart interpreted the pope’s words as opening up the question of the “pope’s ecclesial jurisdiction.”[4] While this is true after a manner of speaking, it seems to me that the really significant question concerns the question of whether it is possible, within the constraints of current Catholic dogma, to place a concrete limit on papal jurisdiction or whether such limitations are solely self imposed. The Catholic doctrine of papal primacy is articulated with great specificity in Vatican I’s Pastor Aeturnus and Vatican II’s Lumen Gentium.[5]. The ongoing doctrinal relevance of these statements and their continuing standing as infallible statements having the authority of the extraordinary magisterium are illustrated in the lukewarm response of the Roman Church to the so-called Zoghby Initiative, a proposal for Eastern Catholics to restore communion with the Orthodox while retaining communion with Rome.

 Of particular significance is the profession of “all that Eastern Orthodoxy teaches” and “limits” upon the Bishop of Rome’s primatial ministry set by the “Holy Fathers of the East” before the separation. A formal papal response to this proposal came in an official document issued by the Congregation for the Eastern Churches authored principally by Joseph Cardinal Ratzinger. Citing the aforementioned statement of John Paul II, Ratzinger referred to alterations in the exercise of the petrine office as an issue “distinct from that of doctrine” and describing complete identity of faith between Orthodox and Catholics as “not possible” because the “doctrine relating to the primacy of the Roman Pontiff has been the subject of some development within the elaboration of the Church's faith through the ages, and…must thus be upheld in its entirety from its origins all the way to the present day”, again making reference to the dogmatic statements of Vatican I and II.[6]

Pastor Aeturnus defines the character of papal primacy both in terms of its basis and in terms of its extent. The basis of papal jurisdiction is defined exclusively with reference to its petrine character. The Council thus states that “the primacy of jurisdiction over the universal Church of God was immediately and directly promised and given to Blessed Peter”[7] and anathematizes any person who states that this jurisdiction “is not ordinary and immediate, both over each and all the Churches and over each and all the Pastors and the faithful…”[8] This definition is reiterated in the Second Vatican Council, where the papal “power of primacy over all, both pastors and faithful, remains whole and intact.” Most importantly, while the pope is “always free to exercise this power”, the collegial power of jurisdiction cannot be exercised “without [their] head.”[9] More important than the universal character of papal jurisdiction- a power which is subject to different interpretations- is the ordinary and immediate character attributed to papal jurisdiction. In stating that the power of jurisdiction is “over each and all the Pastors and the faithful”, the Council precisely specifies its immediate relation to each particular Christian. That is, in principle, a pope can decide, with absolute finality, the ecclesial status of any person within his communion- needing the cooperation or consent neither of their local bishop or synod. Moreover, these particular prerogatives are intrinsic to the office whose existence is derived from the pope’s manner of succession from the apostle Peter. That is, the pope’s being the successor of Peter is both necessary and sufficient[10] for his having ordinary, immediate, and universal jurisdiction over all Christians.

These statements present themselves as reiterations of the content of tradition and should be evaluated by that criterion. While the development of Christian doctrine is certainly a reality, one must make the crucial distinction between development on the one hand and evolution on the other. In Pascendi Dominici, for example, Pope Pius X condemns the idea that dogma evolves while leaving open the possibility of doctrinal development. A doctrine can be said to develop where the truths professed explicitly in later formulations are logically implied by earlier formulations. Because of this, one cannot say that a doctrine has developed from earlier formulations where the earlier confessions explicitly contradict the later ones. An idea cannot be implicit where it is denied explicitly.

According to Pastor Aeturnus, its definition of papal primacy has been “ever been understood by the Catholic Church…”[11] More specifically, its definitions are described as having emerged from the confirmation of the “perpetual practice of the Church…and Ecumenical Councils…especially those in which the East with the West met in the union of faith and charity.”[12] The citation of the evidence of the East is key, as it roots the legitimacy of this vision of papal primacy in its universal, catholic character. Such an idea is also echoed in Leo XIII’s encyclical Satis Cognitum, where the origin of the doctrine of the primacy is described in words  echoing the Vincentian canon: the profession “not by one nation only nor in one age, but by the East and by the West, and through all ages.”[13] The pressing question for the modern ecumenist, therefore, is the degree to which these doctrines, specifically defined, pass the bar set by St. Vincent himself. The authentic Catholic is to “to cleave to antiquity, which at this day cannot possibly be seduced by any fraud of novelty.”[14] Where such exists, one must “prefer the decrees…of an ancient General Council…” If such a decree does not exist, one must “collate and consult and interrogate the opinions of the ancients, of those, namely, who, though living in various times and places…stand forth acknowledged and approved authorities.”[15]

Before examining Roman Catholic teaching on primacy in light of these criteria, it is important to first qualify that there are certain contemporary Orthodox statements on primacy which fail catastrophically to meet these qualifications. These are often, though not always, found in an apologetic context. When the “Orthodox position” is compared with the above teaching, it is natural for the historically informed inquirer to reject the Orthodox claim to bear this living tradition out of hand. For example, Clark Carlton entirely denies a “primacy of jurisdiction” to the Church of Rome,[16] interpreting the phrase “primacy of honor” as signifying a mere ceremonial primacy. Similarly, Orthodox apologist Michael Whelton states that “the Orthodox Church has always maintained…that the Early Church saw no theological basis in Matthew 16:18-19 to support the claims of Rome…”[17] Such claims are absurdly easy to refute, and Carlton’s statement that by the mid-fifth century the Church of Rome was articulating a doctrine of the Church fundamentally at odds with orthodox Christian teaching[18] makes disingenuous any claim of the Orthodox Church to represent the catholic tradition of the Holy Fathers of East and West. Unfortunately, claims like this are not limited to popular apologetic work. In its formal response to the Ravenna Document on primacy, the Moscow Patriarchate asserted that “has never been a single administrative center on the universal level” and that any universal primacy that did exist “is instituted not by God but men.”[19] Even read charitably, such statements are profoundly selective and cannot be seriously set forth as a basis for full communion.

If one is to find a more serious proposal for what a reintegrated Church would look like from an Orthodox perspective, one must turn to the time when such a reintegration was attempted with real seriousness. While there were two attempted reunion Councils between East and West, the Second Council of Lyons lacked participation from major Orthodox centers and was essentially a formalization of the emperor’s personal confession of faith.[20] A more serious attempt was made two centuries later, at the Council of Florence. While the formulae of union themselves were ultimately rejected, St. Mark of Ephesus, since canonized as one of the three “Pillars of Orthodoxy” might be considered something of a canonical articulation of a vision for genuine unity with the West. Mark’s contribution to a theology of primacy is especially pertinent because of the intra-Western disputes about ecclesiology that were transpiring at the time of the Council. Surprisingly given certain historical constructions of St. Mark, he criticized the Latin conciliarists because of their “denial [of] the essential role of the pope in the function and approval of acts and decrees of an ecumenical council.”[21] Nevertheless, Mark limited papal authority by holding that he, like the other patriarchs, was bound by the decrees of such councils, without having the exclusive prerogative to reinterpret their teaching. Because of this, Christiaan Kappes refers to Mark’s theology of primacy as a “mitigated papalism” avoiding the extremes of both ultramontanism which placed no limits on papal power and conciliarism which had no need for it.[22]

Mark is not the only medieval Byzantine theologian to speak of the papal office in such ways. In the decades leading up to the Council of Florence, for example, Symeon of Thessaloniki criticized certain polemics which had dismissed any kind of papal prerogative, writing that “when the Latins say that the bishop of Rome is first, there is no need to contradict them...[if] he has the same faith as Peter and his successors...then he will be the first, the chief and head of all, the supreme high priest.”[23] Even as there were other, lower views of papal power in medieval Byzantium, passages like these demonstrate that profession of a real headship among the Churches based, in part, on succession from Peter was not held to be incompatible with Orthodox faith and was hardly the exclusive belief of the Latinophrone party. Consequently, demonstrating the catholic character of some kind of papal primacy and petrine ministry is not sufficient to demonstrate the apostolicity of the specific form of that primacy dogmatically affirmed by Rome today.

Indeed, a number of factors suggest that the eleventh century marked a turning point not only for relations between East and West, but also for the actual theological development of the idea of papal primacy in the West itself. It is in the eleventh century that the word papatus was coined, suggesting a qualitative order of ministry, even if not a sacramental one, superseding the order of episcopatus.[24] Siecenski likewise describes how “titles that had been shunned by earlier popes…were now embraced with full vigor.”[25] Likewise, it was at this point that the traditional practice of circulating among the churches a profession of faith upon the accession of a new pope was abandoned, despite Patriarch Peter III’s request to the pope that he restore such communication.[26] The concrete changes that were transpiring in the Roman self-conception of her jurisdictional powers reflected a more basic shift in the papal conception of the Church’s ontology. Along these lines, Klaus Schatz describes the “new interpretation of primacy of [sic] the eleventh century” as “not primarily juridical in nature, but more spiritual or even mystical.”[27] The essence of the new doctrine is encapsulated in the phrase “mother of the churches.” At this point in time, the essence of the Church qua Church was understood to actually flow through the bishop of Rome from Christ. Such a conception makes intelligible the coinage of the word papatus. In the patristic era, the primacy of the bishop of Rome was generally understood to arise within the subsistence of the communion of local Churches. Roland Minnerath writes concerning the actions of Basil and John Chrysostom that they “sought the help of Rome in order to activate the communion between Eastern and Western bishops…[because] communion with Rome was the sign of effective communion with all the Catholic bishops.”[28] In the developing view of the Gregorian reform, the church was a body whose life was mediated by the bishop of Rome personally.

The range of possible Orthodox views, given the evidence of medieval theology, thus appears to be more broad than the range of possible Roman Catholic views, given the specificity of formal magisterial teaching on the subject. Applying Vincent’s counsel to consult first the decrees of Ecumenical Councils, one immediately finds that certain extreme statements on Roman primacy by Orthodox writers and even official church bodies are ruled out. At the Seventh Ecumenical Council, for example, Pope Hadrian I is addressed as the “Most Holy Head” who possesses the “dignity of the chief priesthood.” The Pope of Rome is the “veritable chief priest” who presides “in the see of the holy and superlaudable Apostle Peter.” Also of interest in this context is the statement of the Council that the “will of the Lord will be accomplished” when the Pope is conjoined with those who are “assembled here” because of Christ’s statement that He is present where “two or three are gathered in my Name.”[29] Similarly, at the Council of Chalcedon, Pope Leo is spoken of as the “Archbishop of all the Churches.”[30] The deposition of Dioscorus of Alexandria is carried out in the name of “the archbishop of the great and elder Rome… and through this present most holy synod together with the thrice blessed and all-glorious Peter the Apostle, who is the rock and foundation of the Catholic Church.”[31] It is of special note that the specific invocation of the Apostle Peter does not simply follow the name of Pope Leo, but follows the invocation of papal authority conjoined with conciliar authority, suggesting something like the “mitigated papalism” of Mark of Ephesus, where the authority of the Church Catholic exists in the mutually complementary offices of pope and college.

Of special interest is also the reference to the bishop of Rome as the “archbishop of all the churches.” The pertinent question for the inquirer, upon reading such a title, concerns the kind of authority which was possessed by an archbishop. While varying jurisdictional arrangements with varying degrees of primatial power have been present in different times and regions, the intrinsic character of primacy is defined in Apostolic Canon 34: “The bishops of every nation must acknowledge him who is first among them and account him as their head, and do nothing of consequence without his consent… But neither let him who is the first do anything without the consent of all; for so there will be unanimity, and God will be glorified through the Lord in the Holy Spirit.”[32] To speak of the Pope of Rome as the archbishop of all the churches cannot, then, be equated without consideration to his having ordinary and immediate jurisdiction over all the Churches. Indeed, the context of the Council, given the critical analysis of St. Leo’s Tome by the Council Fathers[33], suggests something more like that described in the Apostolic Canons, where primatial and collegial authority are both necessary for the Council’s being what it is. The most significant example in distinguishing between the defined Roman Catholic view and the “moderate papalism” of Mark and Symeon can be found in the Fifth Ecumenical Council, where the Council Fathers specifically invoked the necessity of collegial action to rebuke Pope Vigilius, declaring the need to follow “the great examples left us by the Apostles” who did not make a formal ruling "until...gathered together...nor is there any other way in which the truth can be manifest...since each one needs the help of his neighbor [and] in Ecclesiastes [Solomon] says 'two are better than one...'”[34] Given the criterion of fidelity to General Councils cited in the documents of Vatican I themselves, it is difficult, if not impossible, to see how the principle of even possible (even if not prudentially wise) papal unilateralism can be warranted from tradition.

That the apostolic authority of Peter is invoked in the conjunction of primacy and collegiality points a way towards integrating the well-known tradition of Peter’s association with the local bishop with the universal primacy of the Roman See. The Apostle Peter is associated with the episcopate most famously in Cyprian’s On the Unity of the Church, but also in Dionysius the Areopagite and by Gregory of Nyssa, who stated that “through Peter [Christ] gave to the bishops the keys of the heavenly honors.”[35] Indeed, Cyprian himself, while clearly expounding the relationship of the episcopal college to the Apostle Peter, once uses the phrase “Chair of Peter” to refer to the episcopal chair at the Church of Rome in particular.[36]

The above evidence suggests that the Petrine texts ought to be taken in reference to the episcopal college as a whole, with specific prerogatives within that episcopal college belonging to the bishop of Rome as the head of the church who presides in love. Such a model accounts does not simply place one interpretation alongside the other, but integrates the two so that they imply one another. In that the Church is the Body of Christ who is the incarnate Son of the Eternal Father through the Holy Spirit, the Church necessarily reflects the interplay of unity and diversity within the life of the triune God. As John Zizioulas writes, “The Church cannot but be a unity of the one and the many at the same time.” The Father is the one and only source of the triune God, but is that source only as the Father and thus cannot be who He is without the Son to whom He is bound in love by the Holy Spirit.[37] In Zizioulas’ words “there is simultaneity between the one and the many, similar to that found in the very being of God as Trinity…”[38] The trinitarian basis for the simultaneous birth of primatial and conciliar qualities is confirmed by the the concluding invocation of “God”, the “Lord”, and the “Spirit” in Apostolic Canon 34, the New Testament signifiers for the triune personhood of God. The link between the trinitarian and petrine character of episcopal collegiality and primacy may also be found in the first of the Apostolic Canons, requiring that each bishop be consecrated by “two or three” other bishops.[39]

           This triadic character to the episcopate, intriguingly, was manifested in a number of Roman sources through the triple Petrine primacy belonging not only to the Church of Rome, but also to the Churches of Alexandria and Antioch. The Decretum Gelasianum, for example, orders the three primatial churches as Rome, Alexandria, and Antioch, linking each of them to the apostolic mission of Peter and distinguishing Rome from the other two not through its particular relationship to the Apostle Peter but instead through its relationship to Paul, who is said to have “equally” made Rome “special in Christ the Lord.”[40] Likewise, writing to Eulogius of Alexandria, Pope Gregory the Great wrote, regarding the “principality itself the See of the Prince of the apostles alone has grown strong in authority, which in three places is the See of one.”[41] Indeed, it was only after establishing itself as the sole Petrine See of theological weight that the Papacy finally acceded to the fivefold primatial ordering of the Church.[42]

The pursuit of “ecumenism in time” is essential if there is to be a true restoration of communion between East and West. The theological vision of primacy patterned therein, particularly in the Ecumenical Councils, suggests that petrine authority is received by the episcopal college as a whole immediately from Christ, with a primacy of “mediate” or “extraordinary” jurisdiction being intrinsic to it, concentrated particularly on the Apostolic See of Rome. The interlocking necessity of collegial and primatial power emerges from the nature of the Trinity whose unity and diversity are equally ultimate, contextualizing and reinforcing each other rather than being a compromise where two opposites meet halfway. Any “common model of life” for the churches will have to look something like this. Such a model, however, cannot honestly accommodate the theological definitions of the First and Second Vatican Councils. Such barriers reveal the necessity of miracles for any ecumenical success, thus constantly redirecting us to the real purpose and source of ecumenical dialogue- more perfect embodiment of the one who finally answered the question: “Son of Adam, can these bones live?” (Ezk. 37:3)

[1] Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew (Address of His All-Holiness Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew "Phos Hilarion" Joyful Light, Georgetown University, Washington D.C., October 21, 1997).

[2] i.e. not Protestants.

[3] Pope John Paul II, Ut Unum Sint 95.

[4] David Bentley Hart, "The Myth of Schism," Ecumenism Today: The Universal Church in the 21st Century. Edited by Francesca Aran Murphy, Christopher Asprey (Ashgate, 2008).

[5] Both of which are, after all, cited in Ut Unum Sint.

[6] Joseph Ratzinger, Achille Silvestrini, Edward Cassidy, Congregation for the Eastern Churches Prot. No. 251/75, June 11, 1997. It is notable how this contradicts Ratzinger’s earlier statements that Rome must not require from the East more “than had been formulated and lived in the first millennium.” See A. Edward Siecienski, The Papacy and the Orthodox: Sources and History of a Debate (New York, NY: Oxford University Press, 2017), 397.

[7] First Vatican Council Session IV, Pastor Aeturnus, Chapter I, 1870.

[8] Pastor Aeturnus, Chapter 3.

[9] All citations from Second Vatican Council, Lumen Gentium 22, November 21, 1964.

[10] The sufficiency of the petrine character of the Apostolic See for papal power seems to me more important than generally recognized- it entails, for example, that other factors often cited in the first millennium actually had nothing to do with the source of papal power- since the pope would retain exactly the powers he had even lacking these other elements.

[11] First Vatican Council, Pastor Aeturnus, Chapter I.

[12] First Vatican Council, Pastor Aeturnus, Chapter IV.

[13] Leo XIII, Satis Cognitum, Chapter XIII, June 29, 1896.

[14] Vincent of Lerins, Commonitorium, 3.7

[15] Vincent, 3.8. Sometimes, the complexity and apparent subjectivity of this process is cited as a reason to prefer the contemporary Catholic idea of a living Magisterium with the capacity to provide definitions whose dogmatic character is known from the canonical criteria which they fulfill independent of one’s views of the doctrine defined therein. The problem with this argument is twofold. First, the question facing a contemporary inquirer is not what sort of Church one would establish if one were Christ- it concerns the sort of Church our Lord actually established. Second, the canonical criteria which are said to distinguish an infallible teaching from a non-infallible teaching are themselves not infallibly defined in a way which is not circular. Thus, arguments about the alleged epistemological ease of the Roman Catholic system (in addition to presuming such ease to be an objective good- see Prov. 25:2) are useless for distinguishing apostolic tradition from pretenders.

[16] Clark Carlton, The Truth: What Every Roman Catholic Should Know about the Orthodox Church (Salisbury, MA: Regina Orthodox Press, 1999), 118.

[17] Michael Whelton, Two Paths: Papal Monarchy, Collegial Tradition: Romes Claims of Papal Supremacy in the Light of Orthodox Christian Teaching (Salisbury, MA: Regina Orthodox Press, 1998), 27. Emphasis mine.

[18] Carlton, 118.

[19] Position of the Moscow Patriarchate on the Problem of Primacy in the Universal Church, December 26, 2013. Emphasis mine.

 [20] Aristeides Papadakis and John Meyendorff, The Christian East and the Rise of the Papacy: The Church, 1071-1453 A.D. (Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimirs Seminary Press, 1994), 221-222.

[21] Christiaan Kappes, "A Latin Defense of Mark of Ephesus at the Council of Ferrara Florence (1438-39)," Greek Orthodox Theological Review 59 (2014): 184.

[22] Kappes, 184-189.

[23] Symeon of Thessaloniki, Dialogue in Christ, 120.

[24] Andrew Louth, Greek East and Latin West: The Church, AD 681-1071 (Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimirs Seminary Press, 2007), 298.

[25] Siecenski, The Papacy and the Orthodox, 244.

[26] Siecenski, The Papacy and the Orthodox, 247. It is also notable that Peter III referred to the Pope of Rome as the “great Successor of St. Peter”, again demonstrating the falsity of the idea that the East never countenanced any kind of petrine office in the bishops of Rome.

[27] Klaus Schatz, Papal Primacy: From Its Origins to the Present (Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 1996), 85.

[28] Roland Minnerath, "The Petrine Ministry in the Early Patristic Tradition," in How Can the Petrine Ministry Be a Service to the Unity of the Universal Church?, ed. James F. Puglisi (Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans Pub., 2010).

 [29] Acts of the Second Council of Nicea, Session I.

[30] Acts of the Council of Chalcedon, Session IV.

[31] Acts of the Council of Chalcedon, Session III.

[32] Apostolic Canon 34.

[33] On the historical role of Leo’s Tome to the definitions of the Council, see John A. McGuckin, St. Cyril of Alexandria and the Christological Controversy: Its History, Theology, and Texts (St. Vladimir’s Seminary, 2006).

[34] Acts of the Second Council of Constantinople, VII.

[35] As cited in John Meyendorff, The Primacy of Peter: Essays in Ecclesiology and the Early Church (Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 1992), 72.

[36] Cyprian of Carthage, Epistle 54.

[37] As discussed in St. Gregory Palamas, 150 Chapters, 36-37.

[38] John Zizioulas, The One and the Many: Studies on God, Man, the Church, and the World Today (Alhambra: Sebastian Press, 2010), Kindle Location 5485- pagination not available.

[39] Apostolic Canons, 1. Normally, the rule was three.

[40] Decretum Gelasianum, III.1-3.

[41] Gregory the Great, Epistles, VII.40. It seems to me that something like this will probably be necessary if full communion with the Coptic Church is ever to be restored.

[42] Acts of the Fourth Council of the Lateran, V.

                            Bibliography of Secondary Sources

Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew. Address of His All-Holiness Ecumenical Patriarch Bartholomew "Phos Hilarion" Joyful Light, Georgetown University, Washington D.C., October 21, 1997.

Carlton, Clark. The Truth: What Every Roman Catholic Should Know about the Orthodox Church. Salisbury, MA: Regina Orthodox Press, 1999.

Kappes, Christiaan. "A Latin Defense of Mark of Ephesus at the Council of Ferrara Florence (1438-39)." Greek Orthodox Theological Review 59 (2014).

Louth, Andrew. Greek East and Latin West: The Church, AD 681-1071. Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 2007.

McGuckin, John A. St. Cyril of Alexandria: The Christological Controversy, Its History, Theology, and Texts. St. Vladimir’s Seminary Press, 2006.

Meyendorff, John. The Primacy of Peter: Essays in Ecclesiology and the Early Church. Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimirs Seminary Press, 1992.

Papadakis, Aristeides, and John Meyendorff. The Christian East and the Rise of the Papacy: The Church, 1071-1453 A.D.Crestwood, NY: St. Vladimirs Seminary Press, 1994.

"The Petrine Ministry in the Early Patristic Tradition." Edited by Roland Minnerath. In How Can the Petrine Ministry Be a Service to the Unity of the Universal Church?, edited by James F. Puglisi, 34-48. Grand Rapids, MI: W.B. Eerdmans Pub., 2010.

Schatz, Klaus. Papal Primacy: From Its Origins to the Present. Collegeville, MN: Liturgical Press, 1996.

Siecienski, A. Edward. The Papacy and the Orthodox: Sources and History of a Debate. New York, NY: Oxford University Press, 2017.

Whelton, Michael. Two Paths: Papal Monarchy, Collegial Tradition: Romes Claims of Papal Supremacy in the Light of Orthodox Christian Teaching. Salisbury, MA: Regina Orthodox Press, 1998.

Zizioulas, John. The One and the Many: Studies on God, Man, the Church, and the World Today. Alhambra: Sebastian Press, 2010.

[twelvedreamsfortheredqueen]

The Strange Case and Origin of Dr. Edgar Griffith Swansea

“For we learn to do certain things before we know what we are doing and in ways that no one can adequately explain. In twenty-four months, an infant learns to recognize and discriminate the elements of the world around it, learns to pull itself erect and walk, learns to hear language and to talk. Is it possible that we accomplish these feats better for our lack of knowledge about how we do them? Can we know anything unwittingly? ...Will knowledge solve our problems? Will an ‘explosion’ of knowledge reduce hardship among us and make us just, virtuous, and free?” — Forbidden Knowledge: From Prometheus to Pornography: FOREWARD

Vampyr has a rather unique method of sharing the narrative of its characters a, in that we only learn the truth of who they are and what they are throughout all their lives only when you choose to Embrace them and witness their final moments. It is Gothic, melancholic, morbid, sinister, grotesque—like a foretelling omen. While Vampyr and DONTNOD have taken inspiration from many eras and many works, there were always certain characters within the game that I wondered much more curiously about than others. Edgar has been one of them; boggling in my head since the game’s release long back in June, and I just found myself researching into this bizarre, yet bubbly and warm man. I have much to share, and a lot I’ve found, but for now, I just wanted to share and analyze interesting details I have found about just where exactly Edgar came from, and how on Earth he landed himself in the so-called “vertiginous” world between life and death as the Administrator of Pembroke. As usual, feel free to PM/message me if you wish to discuss any of the work I post! I’d love to hear other people’s thoughts.

This essay is going to spoil everything and anything about Vampyr, so be warned! It will also spoil any other references I may mention in the process, but as always, those shall be marked!

@orionali, this essay was inspired by your dedication to Swansea as a character! I would also like to thank you for assisting me with this essay, as without your help and resources, I would have had a lot more trouble analyzing this essay.

I would also like to thank @terioncalling for their extensive resources and archiving of lore collectibles; its been a great help in assisting me with this essay and many of my other upcoming projects!

We cannot analyze Edgar without first attempting to dissect and review what we do know about who he is, where he came from, and how he even found himself as the Administrator of Pembroke in the first place. This essay will entirely be dedicated to analyzing the information we have about him from the game and connecting it to outside sources and time periods that occurred during the 20th century. This essay will also take the time to analyze some of the information garnered from these sources and will attempt to dissect exactly what they mean and why they were chosen as they were as a sort of biographical account of his origins.

To start off, we have Edgar’s entire biography to us if you choose to Embrace him during His pillar choice:

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Alongside his personal history, we also have some hints as to what he did prior to his administration signing at Pembroke in 1911, which reveals that Ashbury had offered him the position in 1909.

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Here are Edgar’s personal accounts regarding his past and present when speaking to Jonathan, revealing that he has been engaging in experiments with haematology as well as vampiric blood, presumably.

Even prior to this, we know that Pembroke’s earliest record is on April 6th, 1872, just a year before Edgar’s birth as we can spot a photograph of Pembroke from that time.

Full screenshot

We also know where he may have received his medical education from, as a photo of the Royal College of Physicians is also hanging in his office:

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Along with that, he shares an old friendship with at least one of the staff members, Dr. Corcoran Tippets, and one could even say the current night staff at Pembroke were all hired by Edgar!

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Armed with this knowledge, we can now begin to dissect him one by one, starting with his name and attempting to establish his place of origin. We are first told that he is 45 at the time of his death (Embrace), which means that Edgar was born in 1873 in the heart of the Victorian Era (1918 - 45 = 1873). We also receive his full name—Edgar Griffith Swansea, which is a curious choice of middle name as well as surname. The fact that he even has a middle name is also an interesting choice, as middle names were often only reserved for those in the elite ((the longer one’s name was, the more classically elite you were—take the ancient usage of the “praenomen, nomen, cognomen” system of the Romans, where a name was meant to indicate your branch or family tree; take Q. Pompeius Senecio Sosius Priscus’ full name, which boasted a total of thirty-eight (pg 303). Jonathan and Ashbury also share a similar phenomenon which is telling of the lineages they presumably stemmed from; especially for Ashbury, as women only held two names unless they hailed from a royal or extremely wealthy family)). The practice remained in the 20th and 19th century but was still rather rare as the custom itself decreased over time in Rome through the centuries, leaving the practice obscure and lost. The Italians brought back the tradition in the 13th and 14th centuries, either deciding between a common name or utilizing the name of saints so that their children may be protected by said saint.“Griffith” is a Welsh surname. Pronounced “ɡɹɪfɪθ”, it’s origins come from Wales, stemming the Anglicized version of Middle Welsh word name known as “Gruffudd”, which is also derivative of the Middle Welsh word “Gripiud”. The word only proceeds to find itself in older and older origins; to the Proto-Brythonic word “Grifjʉð”, which came from a language even further back to the Latin and Celtic words; “grȳphus” (griffin) and “jʉð” (judge), with “jʉð” stemming from the Proto-Celtic word “yowdos”, which stands for “lord” or “judge”. This makes sense, as when you define the closest word to “Griffith”, it references an interesting trend:

N. A male given name, borne by ancient kings of Wales. A patronymic surname.

“Patronymic” means a name that stems back from an older male ancestor, most often a father or some sort of King. This implicates that the name itself was only reserved for those in power. The “ancient king” in question was that of King Gruffydd ap Llywelyn, who ruled from c. 1039 to 1063. You can also consider some similarities with the “Griffin”, or “Gryphon” creature, as both words hold the same Latin origin as “Griffith” (grȳphus), but do note that they are not mutually exclusives. As for his surname, it also holds Welsh origins and is actually an entire region within Southern Wales. It was not named an official city until the year 1969, but a town charter had been established in Europe’s Middle Ages from 1158 - 1194. The etymological origins of the word are a mixture of Old Norse of the words “sveinn”, meaning “boy” or “servant” and “ey” meaning “island”. “Swansea” itself also held various variations from the 12th to 14th century, from “Sweynesse” in c. 1165, “Sueinesea” in 1190, and “Swanesey” in 1322. Digging deeper into the etymology leads us with further implications to servitude; “sveinn” holds roots in the Proto-Germanic word “swaniez”, goes further back into the Proto-Indo-European word “swé”—both of which connote to the definitions of:

N. *swainaz m. (masculine) relative; kinsman; young man herder; herdsman

“Swé” itself means to “separate; apart; one’s self; one’s own”, which is quite peculiar given how the words it would come to shape would mean that of servitude and obedience. Of course, being a Welsh city it also has a Welsh name, which is known as “Abertawe” a combination of the two words “aber”, lit. “estuary, mouth”, and “tawe”, a river that borders Swansea, but also has an obsolete definition which also proves to be curious:

Adj. to “taw out” or to “tawe out”; lit. “take out” through means of extorting.

Combined, it grants us the literal definition of “the mouth of Tawe”, hence “Abertawe”, which was first mentioned in a Welsh document Aper Tyui around c. 1150, as well as various other texts mentioning the phrase. But what of his forename, of our duly noted “Edgar” himself? “Edgar” hails from the Old English word “Ēadgār”, an amalgamation of the words “ēad” meaning “happiness, prosperity” and “gad”, meaning “spear”. “Ēad” is specifically used in a poetic context and definition, for instance:

N. (poetic) happiness, prosperity Geþyld byþ middes eades. “Patience is half of happiness.”

Much like “Griffith”, it, too, is a patronymic name as well as a given male name. “Ēadgār” was also the name of several kings from the Old English era, such as Ēadgār the Peaceful (or Edgar the I, or Edgar of England) who reigned from 959 to 975 and as his title would suggest, was most revered and known for his reign of peace; so much so, that his name has been connotative to “happy spear”, the “Ead” itself referencing several objects and symbols behind “happiness”, as shared in “The Old Norse contributions to the development of the English lexis – a study based upon Proto-Germanic”, which analyzes how the Old Norse language developed the current English and Welsh languages:

“It managed, however, to leave its trace in a few Anglo-Saxon names – some of them still common in modern times: Ēadgār ‘happy spear’, Ēadmund ‘happy protection’, Ēadred ‘happy counsel’, or Ēadweard ‘happy guardian’.” (pg. 45)

This assertion of incessant happiness being tied to his name is quite fitting for the bubbly, albeit eccentric and peculiar, persona that Edgar presents us with. Until his untimely end or his very much grateful Turning, of course. But what of the “spear” portion of his name? Edgar definitely does not strike as a man who would go out in battle; he is on the direct opposite side of such things, and we know this simply due to the faction he had chosen to chase for twenty years, that being, the scholarly Brotherhood of St. Paul’s Stole vs the fanatical hunters of the Guard of Priwen. Edgar also tells us directly that he has been a member of the Stole for at least “several years”.

Yet, as Usher confirms when Jonathan questions him about the origins and the making of the Stole itself, both Priwen and the Stole were one and the same—he also implies that one would be most naïve to assume that the Stole were simply a group of neutral, pacifist scholars as well, long before or after the schism of 1801.

Usher, however, writes a rather different account in the lore collectible known as the “Origin of the Brotherhood”, an excerpt from his “Whispers of our past” documents:

Full screenshot

Full screenshot

Much of the Brotherhood and Priwen have various allusions to Arthurian legends—from their titles (Priwen being King Arthur’s shield), to the sword that McCullum brings to battle both in Jonathan’s fight and his appearance in Whitechapel cemetery (Excalibur, or Caliburn, was said to be a greatsword of incredible power. The Dragonbane has a similar shape to the said sword, though they are not the exact same models within the game; it was the sword of Pawl, the founder of the original Brotherhood and later on during the Schism, St. Paul’s Stole. The Arthurian legends specific to Vampyr are from the works of Gruffudd ap Arthur (who is more well known as Geoffrey of Monmouth), with his epic chronicle known as “De gestis Britonum or Historia regum Britanniae”, or “The History of the Kings of Great Britain”, from c. 1136)). This is another intriguing thing that will be further analyzed in this section as, while it may have simply been for mechanical game reasons—Edgar has both a copy of the Dragonbane and Carl Eldritch’s original gun—Barker; symbolic weapons to both sides of the Original Brotherhood. 

On the assumption that both of these things were not purely stashed into Jonathan’s room for convenience (i.e: said game mechanic purposes), what could this potentially mean in terms of Edgar’s entire, and true connection, that he holds with the Brotherhood? I question this as we first get glimpses of a possible connection between him and Priwen. As you head on to the second arc of the entire game, you eventually run into Geoffrey McCullum and Edgar arguing in his office. Before you enter the room, however, you can overhear several lines between the two of them. Here is all of them (thank you to @zenkhartha for compiling these):

All of these are rather interesting, but the line “You’ve grown soft!” to me, seems to augur that Edgar was not once previously the giddy, neutral scholar that the Brotherhood is suggested to be members with, which would also correlate to Usher’s statement. It also correlates to the idea that the Brotherhood keeps their true, hidden behaviour under more wraps than people may believe. Take Redgrave’s note for the Ascalon Club, warning his members to not be labelled as a “Dragon”:

Full screenshot

This sort of fear is clearly indicative towards the idea that the Brotherhood, even now, is more than just neutral scholars that seek to understand vampirism on all facets. Adding onto this, why does Geoffrey barge into Edgar’s office anyway? Why does Edgar speaks words that seem to indicate he is quite familiar with the man, or at least has had some prior connection with Priwen, or perhaps just Geoffrey? 

When Geoffrey does not yield, Edgar reminds him of the kind of territory Pembroke is in quite the uncannily authoritative manner. A neutral territory between the likes of both the Brotherhood and Priwen.

This suspicion alone becomes even more curious if you choose to have Jonathan Turn both Geoffrey and Edgar. If Pembroke is not hostile, Edgar says some fascinating things regarding his relationship with Geoffrey.

These two following portions remain unchanged, but, Jonathan begins with this:

Prompting Edgar to say this:

Now, if Geoffrey is Turned as I mentioned, Jonathan will be triggered to say this line, bringing up an important aspect to Edgar and Geoffrey’s history:

Edgar simply comments on Geoffrey’s “condition”, questioning his acceptance of it (which is funny, given how Geoffrey seems strangely… fine with his change, but, that is a discussion for another time).

To reel back slightly, here are the two weapons I mentioned that Edgar seems to have stashed in Jonathan’s room. If you purchased the Hunter’s Heirloom DLC, you receive two weapons, both of which have once belonged to a side of the original Brotherhood. Here is Priwen’s weapon:

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Here is the Brotherhood’s, with a Dragon and True Dragonbane comparison showing no difference (which may be due to the implication that the True Dragonbane has had several copies of it made: “It seems a few copies may have been made…” — Funnily, both of them read with the line “but this is the true and original Dragonbane”):

Full screenshot

Full screenshot

This could implicate a variety of things. Perhaps Edgar knows Geoffrey merely due to the poor relationship between the Stole and Priwen. Maybe Edgar himself had once aligned with Priwen. Perhaps he simply knows McCullum from something else entirely—the curious thing is that no one can really know for sure! However, now that we are armed with the fact he has both weapons, and the fact that the Brotherhood was once merged with Priwen, one must point to the apparent kinds of practices the Brotherhood used to perform. Usher shares quite the sinister insinuation for both the original Brotherhood and perhaps even the current Stole, as we see above.

Usher claims that the Brotherhood is now merely a neutral sector of scholarly individuals simply looking to study vampirism, but to technically define one’s organization as neutral, you must avoid two things—they cannot attack and thus be hostile which is essentially what Priwen are, and, they cannot eagerly fraternize or become friendly with vampire either, which is what Edgar has become, and I believe this eagerness and fraternization both have to do with his personality and his past. There is a specific line that references just how exactly Edgar becomes so enthralled in vampirism—this line can be seen in the second paragraph of his Embrace biography.

“He first encountered a vampire when he was just a boy. There he witnessed the murder of his nanny, yet rather than retreat in fear, he developed a passion and admiration for blood drinkers that led him to the medical profession. After twenty years of research…”

The reaction itself will be analyzed later on in another essay, but I wish to focus on the bolded aspects, i.e: the fact this passion started young, that it stemmed from the murder of his nanny, and that he joined the Stole twenty years after this incident. Edgar, as stated, was born in the Victorian Era—an era brimming with Gothic imagery, aggressive social rules and intense classism. The fact that he had a nanny from a young age and the fact that DONTNOD chose said nanny to be the one closest mention to family suggests one very large thing about his upbringing: that Edgar comes from a relatively wealthy household (the fact he knows what The Ritz is also suggesting that he is at least well-educated, which in these eras, required money to facilitate). The fact he has a middle name, which as stated was only really reserved for the elite, also adds to this suggestion about his family.

To present a bit of background about childcare at this time: the Victorian Era lasted from 1837 - 1901 which means that Edgar would have grown up in said era before the turn of the century even drew itself near. Depending on one’s class, life as a Victorian child was incredibly difficult, even for the wealthy due to strict social regulations for both of the sexes. Many children in high society were more cared for by their servants than their own families—it was a time of nurses, nannies, and governesses taking care of the children; often on a rigid, clockwork structure. Unmarried women took on these roles and ended up becoming more of a mother to these children than the actual mothers themselves, assuring the true mother that her child would be raised on moral and “presentable” beliefs, as well as an ensure a constantly watched eye upon the child.

The Governess; or, the Missing Pencilcase, c. 1875, Barr, Rev. J. T.

Given how Edgar’s only mentioned caretaker is a nanny, I highly suspect he fell under the watchful care of one for the majority of his childhood. This would explain the peculiarity of one of his hints (the second image is the file name of the datamined hint):

In spite of no biological family being mentioned, that nanny may have been his only motherly figure or even his only consistent caretaker as a child, and thus, someone he would have considered close enough to call family. On the topic of family, is Edgar’s faith. I will simply comment on which faith he would have possibly followed given what we know of his background. I am mentioning his religion given how we have frankly—

Full screenshot

—seen it in action. Continuing on with the theory that he is from Wales but is at the very least, primarily British because he was born in England—Edgar would have most likely been raised a Protestant, as Protestantism has been the most practised religion (other than Anglicanism) in England since roughly 1532, when Henry VII split England from the Roman Catholic Church and paved the way for Protestantism to enter the country. In Edgar’s case, given his theorized background, Protestantism hit Wales when the Tudor Dynasty took hold of the nation throughout the early 1500s and despite some backlash in the region, Protestants are still one of the largest religious groups in the country, though Christianity is rising in both present-day Wales and England.

All of these hints and theories make Edgar a very vague individual, even if some of these things hold a lot of information for what they present. This elusive storytelling is a key component to Vampyr’s narrative structure, as we know so little of the so-called major cast, from Edgar to even our own playable Jonathan himself!

To roughly summarize the whole of his journey to his current place as Administrator of Pembroke Hospital, here is a rough timeline of what we’ve gathered so far:

BACKSTORY TIMELINE:

April 6, 1872: Pembroke’s earliest record in Vampyr. May have been its opening year.

1873: Edgar is born in the middle of the Victorian Era.

1900s: He becomes a member of BoSPS. He mentions being a member for “several years”, right before meeting Ashbury, so the exact date isn’t clear. He is stated to have gone on a “twenty-year journey” before finally obtaining membership, which means roughly some time between the 1880s (he was stated to see the murder as “a boy”) to the early 1900s.

1909: He meets Ashbury (the letter in her estate dates 27 July meaning they’ve met during winter/spring). Strangely enough, this letter mentions her offering him the job at Pembroke, but...

1911: ...This is the official year he takes the role of Administrator, according to Edgar. This means that it took him roughly two years to become the Administrator, for a reason we are unaware of.

A man of many secrets, years of experimentation underneath his white coat, and strained relations between various organizations, Edgar is the epitome of a mad scientist with a history we are unbeknownst to, with even less knowledge as to he has chosen for this path of vampirism, myopia, and experimentation to lead him thus. To mix the sciences with myth, and to seek out this creature that is both man and beast—both immortal yet mortally there, standing before us. Born out of the heart of the Gothic Revival, or the dark Romantics that flooded both literature, politics, and society—his own childhood starting out cold and in tragedy with a vampiric murder. 

Rather fitting for Vampyr’s tale, don’t you think?

Credits, Extra Comments, and Sources

CREDITS:

As stated at the top, I want to give much love to @orionali and @terioncalling for helping me with gathering resources and assets of the game to help with my research. Also, all of Orio’s drawings and pieces about Edgar have helped greatly; her dedication to this warm, bubbly, yet somewhat eccentric fellow is what inspired me to finish this in spite of all my real life issues. ♥

I also wish to thank @cursedbethechoice, they have always inspired me to start this kind of analaytical work and l,ove for the game in the first place, and were very helpful in helping me choose my books and sources. Please be sure to check out their work, as they were one of the first to start the lore dissection of the game.

EXTRA COMMENTS:

University absolutely sucks, as this was going to be a full-on character essay dissecting the mad wonders that is Edgar but alas, I could not finish it with the time I was allotted, as I also have a fever as I type this. However! Expect some miniature essays to come out to celebrate Halloween with to go along with this somewhat larger one! I also still intend to analyze Edgar as a character, and hope to publish his dissection around Christmas (but will try to squeeze in other characters/topics on the side).

However, because of all my constraints, I started on Edgar in late August, and just got the time to write and publish something just before the end of October, welp. This essay is 3,695 words long spans roughly about 20 pages, compared to my Vampyr’s Vampires essay which spanned up to nearly 70 pages and was 14,293 words long. 

I miss summer already.

I have 50+ books out solely dedicating to analyzing Edgar and some other aspects of Vampyr as a whole. My library hates me.

If anyone tells you about the “Edgar Wall” I made or “The Walls™” for Edgar—Do not speak of it. It’s still up there and will haunt me until Christmas.

I bothered my English professor to contact his linguistic friends to dissect Edgar’s accent once I realized his name is inhumanely Welsh. I had two English Linguists so far just tell me he is “Vaguely European”. If you see memes about that, now you know why. I’m still salty about this and if any Welsh specialists are out there reading this, please, for the love of God, contact me (I also contacted Vampyr’s Voice Director, but with no luck... yet. I’m this close to bothering Harry Hadden-Paton himself).

Edgar is cute. Ansel proves it.

ALL SOURCES/BIBLIOGRAPHY (in no particular order):

The National Library of Wales’ WELSH HISTORY REVIEW/Cylchgrawn hanes Cymru “Notes on the Heirs of Commodus” - The American Journal of Philology, Vol. 100, No. 2 (Summer, 1979), pp. 288-306, The Johns Hopkins University Press Edward Champlin  TIME Magazine’s “Now You Know: Why Do We Have Middle Names?” THE OLD NORSE CONTRIBUTIONS TO THE DEVELOPMENT OF THE ENGLISH LEXIS–A STUDY BASED UPON PROTO-GERMANICKATARZYNA MONTICOLO University of Wrocław, 2016 JSTOR’S Open Academic Resources The etymology of “Edgar” in Wikitionary The etymology of “Swansea” in Wikitionary The etymology of “Griffith” in Wikitionary Forbidden Knowledge: From Prometheus to Pornography, Roger Shattuck, 1997 Merriam-Webster’s Online Dicitionary “Raising Children in the Victorian Times“—School Work Helper Greenleaf, Barbara Kaye. Children Through The Ages. New York: McGraw-Hill, 1978, pp. 78-83.  British Library’s “The figure of the governess”, Kathryn Hughes, 2014 British Library’s video of “The governess” as explained by Kathryn Hughes, 2014 BBC’s Wales’ History: “The Protestant Reformation (part 3)”, 2014 A NOTE ON GRUFFYDD AP LLYWELYN: (1039-63), Walker, David. Welsh History Review = Cylchgrawn Hanes Cymru; Cardiff Vol. 1, Iss. 1,  (Jan 1, 1960): 83. Genuki - UK & Irish Genealolgy: “Place names in Glamorgan“, 5 Sept 2013 - Gareth Hicks Rensselaer Polytechnic Institute’s (RPI) “Edgar (The Peaceful) King of England”, 25 Jun 2003 “The Liber landavensis, Llyfr Teilo, or, The ancient register of the cathedral church of Llandaff”; from mss. in the libraries of Hengwrt, and of Jesus college, Oxford (Specific Page) England’s Royal College of Physciains’ Homepage A BRIEF HISTORY OF SWANSEA, WALES, By Tim Lambert The Welsh Academy Encyclopaedia of Wales, John Davies Nigel Jenkins Menna Baines, Feb 2008, University of Wales Press BBC Wales’ “Swansea: The ugly, lovely town that became a city”, Phil Carradice, 03 July 2014 BBC Wales’ History: “The investiture of the Prince of Wales” Chisholm, Hugh, ed. (1911). "Swansea". Encyclopædia Britannica. 26 (11th ed.). Cambridge University Press. p. 183. Genuki - UK & Irish Genealolgy’s Swansea Timeline Geoffrey of Monmouth—HISTORY OF THE KINGS OF BRITAIN, translation by Aaron Thompson, revisions by J.A. Giles, (pg 153), 1999

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Reframing Aquarius: How the Cool & Detached Can Offer Us Our Best Chance at Love

Like Capricorn and Christmas, Aquarius and Valentine’s Day seem to be fundamentally at odds. Where the serious Saturn-ruled earth sign seems incongruous to merrymaking, so does the Saturn-ruled air sign seem an out-of-place home for one of the more romantic days of the year. If pop Astrology had its way, Aquarius would remain inextricably associated with stereotypes of distance and detachment. While those descriptors are certainly relevant, they are not the end of the story. You may find Taurus or Libra more fitting for Valentine’s Day, where the planet of love and romance is home. Or Pisces, where the planet of love and romance is exalted. Perhaps even Leo, where bouquets of red and pink balloons and Leo-ruled heart-shaped boxes of candy proudly boast and roar: love! But in removing the superficial layers that surround the misunderstood Aquarius, we can come to understand why Cupid’s foray through this cerebral sign is no accident, and rather points us towards a more fitting, yet shocking, conclusion: that the Aquarius love is deep and endless, that the Aquarian heart throbs with undiluted passion. If this shocks you, good. Aquarius enjoys a revolution. And so may this revolution set Aquarius free from misinformation, and set ablaze a new way of thinking.

Saint Valentine of Rome, whose written account has come to serve as a historical template for the beginnings of Valentine’s Day, acted out these Aquarian ideals. He performed weddings for those forbidden to marry and when sent to jail, healed his jailer’s daughter of blindness. Afterwards and right before he was due to be executed, he sent a letter to the jailer’s daughter, and signed it, your Valentine. Saint Valentine of Rome was also said to give out paper hearts while ministering to people about God’s love, and a direct line can be drawn from this action to the typical Valentine’s Day decorations we see today. In this brief tale, we meet two Aquarian archetypes, the former more recognizable than the latter: rebellion and compassion. A humanitarian thing to do despite the laws of the time, Saint Valentine, though perhaps not an Aquarius himself, extolled all of the best, yet often ignored testaments of the sign—the push towards equality, that all deserve to have their love legitimized and recognized, endless empathy for the human condition, and the Love with a capital L that drives one to such measures. Religion aside, Valentine lived and died on one principal: that love, in all its myriad forms, is for all. Anyone who dies for love is a romantic to me. That the Sun was travailing through Aquarius as the framework for our modern conception of Valentine’s Day was underway can be no coincidence. All of Astrology bears correspondence to human events, even if they remain obscured or misunderstood for a time. But let’s mount more evidence...

In Ancient Greece, Aquarius season coincided with Gamelion, the month of marriage. Two festivals occurred then, roughly translated to Sacred Wedding and Divine Wedding. These festivals celebrated the union of Zeus and Hera. In Roman texts, Hera was known as Juno, the goddess of marriage. If Juno sounds familiar, it is because an asteroid was named after her and has come to represent what is looked for in marriage and commitment. Modern natal chart calculators can show where Juno is in the sky for the native, and most often it points to the characteristics of a most suitable long-term partner. So what is it about Aquarius that corresponds to these cultivations of lasting love and marriage? Look to the element and modality: fixed air. Like any fixed sign, Aquarius holds on tight and when best expressed can exalt the virtues of fidelity. Of course, any ideal marriage or partnership needs this brand of loyalty and perseverance. Though much is said about the Aquarius need for space, even the Aquarius need for isolation, it cannot be overlooked that when in love, Aquarius is one of the more steadfast partners, seeking not for frivolous union, but for deep connection. But the elemental structure of Aquarius sets it apart from the rest of the fixed family. It can be said that inherent in the Aquarian archetype are two life-sustaining elements: air, and water, as Aquarius is the water-bearer, often mistaken by novices as a water sign. No living being can do without air or water. And so the Aquarian love is life-sustaining, from which all bounty and blessings grow, from which all beings benefit. It is the grandeur of this concept that gives Aquarius its aloof quality—their love is so universal and welcoming that to the casual observer, it appears impersonal. But it is precisely the scope of Aquarius love that makes it so palpable, an equally matched breadth and depth. Where fixed Taurus can become materialistic, fixed Leo can become self-aggrandizing, and fixed Scorpio can brood and become paranoid, no more fixed is Aquarius than the air it represents: ubiquitous, self-sustaining, stretched over distance yet deeply intimate, as oxygen and the connectivity of breath is shared by all. Co-dependency has long reigned as a romantic model of love, clinginess and self-dissolution perversely used as measures of affection. Psychology has now caught up and identified this proclivity as self-sabotaging and unhealthy. The Aquarius model of live and let live in love can appear threatening to the osmosis some wish to experience, or expect to experience. But it offers us our best chance of healthy love—as when air is squelched out of the equation, breathing becomes labored, and the life of the relationship is threatened. When inserted in mutually consented amounts, air allows for space, wherein two individuals (or more, *wink*) can fully stretch out into their identity, their lived experience, always feeling supported, but never entrapped. That is what Aquarius offers—a love given the air to float, fly, and transcend.

In a sense, and as alluded to above, Aquarius love can be cerebral. But as all things start with thought, this isn’t to be feared. The belief of a thing creates the experience of a thing. So for Aquarius to hold you in their minds with love and affection is to tap into a potent creative energy, one that serves as the basis for all emotion and action. Intellect has no bounds. Neither do the Aquarius flights of fancy. And because these ideas are fixed, good luck changing the Aquarian mind. Once loved, always loved. For Aquarius, the idea of love for a person, up close or from afar, is to render that love timeless and shapeless, graduated out the physical dimensions of gift-giving, face-time and attention, and into an ethereal experience. Aquarius is the sign of freedom and independence. To give love the freedom to expand, to individuate, untethered by expectation or precedent, is to experience ecstasy.

Aquarius is ruled by Saturn. There is, then, a resonance with Aquarius and Saturn’s sign of exaltation—Libra. Libra, in some ways, is the sign of marriage, one-on-one partnership, diplomacy, and fairness. Therefore, there is a through-line connecting the idea of peaceful partnership and love to the Aquarius archetype. With this link, Saturn, and by virtue, Aquarius, can delight when relationships become stable and enduring, planting fertile ground for love and romance to blossom perennially.

In sum, I invite you to reframe what you’ve heard about Aquarius. Leave room for the wondrous ways in which this sign offers us our best chance at experiencing a true love, and hold space for a history that can corroborate it. Remember that as the water bearer, Aquarius has within it all the emotional capacity apparent in any other sign. Only, unlike any other sign, Aquarius shoulders these emotional conditions with impenetrable strength and understanding, turning them into nutrient, tilling human soil, watering it with compassion. In this alchemical process, all human experience, the sordid and splendid, meet their highest resolution in the arms of Aquarius. It is this level of belonging, of feeling seen and heard, that allows unbridled love to flow. It could be that the Aquarius tendency for distance and austerity is merely erected as a means of protection. That the love they feel for others must somehow be contained behind a wall, less it completely overwhelm them, less their waters drown the world. But do not be mistaken—beyond the ideas of coldness and detachment lies a soft, loving center. A sweetness disguised, but always alive.

“Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind

And therefore is winged Cupid painted blind.”

-William Shakespeare

Your Valentine,

Aquarius Sun & Venus(millymichele on reddit)

[esullivan-blog1]

Yager Bomber’s Blog

Yager Bombers’ Blog:

From our culture assignment our group learned how people from different nationalities function in different ways. Although we acknowledged that many of our moral and ethical principles are quite very similar and nearly identical. Since the different cultures we observed were all living in the united states we had felt it was not justified to make this assumption absolute at this time. We were drawn to the conclusion that if we were to conduct business with people or companies from these nationalities, mutual respect, honesty and fair dealing would be the best approach. They are attributes that we have seen to hold true with people from all around the world. Mutual understanding of the parties is also something that we have deemed necessary to carry out business in a global fashion. This can get confusing because in different cultures gestures and use of the same words may have different connotation leading one or more parties to be misled. One of the few potential barriers we have seen from our relatively short culture interactions was that of language. Langue is key to communication and can make people frustrated and not want to conduct potential business. With that being said if one wishes to conduct some sort of business with a culture from a different country, research should be done and proper preparation such as a translator on your computer should be present just in case. Although this may be necessary even for conducting business with different cultures found within our own nation. Since our group decided to explore many different cultures individually, and then come together to compare and contrast, it opened our eyes to one main realization; As we enter the global business world, we will be working with so many different types of people who have different backgrounds, different traditions, and different morals, so it is very important for us to always learn and respect the different cultures we will work with. One of us specifically went to one event with four main different nationalities, this was an excellent example of how diverse business conferences and meetings will be for us as we excel into the global business world. The other two members of our team attended Chinese martial arts classes. We think it is very important to admire the techniques and rituals of these other countries. Specifically, the concept of yin and yang has reminded us how important it is to have balance in all aspects of our lives whether its family, friends, academics, relationships, sports, or business. Also, we discussed how observing the Chinese culture will help us in the long run as China is a major player in the Global economy, it is inevitable that we will all be working with the Chinese in the future. Overall we as group took full advantage of the learning opportunity this project provided us with. To restate our main takeaways from this project, we learned and were reminded that our future relationships will be extremely diverse, we must be open to change and be respectful of cultural differences. We must not let barriers such as language prevent great people from connecting. Lastly, we must keep balance in our lives such as the ancient Chinese philosophy of  yin and yang.

James individual blog:

The activity that I had participated in was the fiesta day in Ybor on February 23rd. Other known as a flag day, this was a festival in which many different cultures came and set up tents for food, activities or artifacts of their own culture they wished to share with the Tampa bay community. The main cultures I had observed was the Italian, Puerto Rican, Mexican and a little Japanese. I participated by eating food of different nationalities and sparking conversation to observe differences in communication between these nationalities. Although I have met people of these cultures before, this is a new experience for myself because I have never before been to a cultured festival in which people bring the most significant items to represent their heritage as a whole. Although the culture was accurately explained to me by representation, I felt as if there wasn’t enough of each individual culture to make drastic allegations of each individual nationality but to contrast of the several that was present as a whole. At this particular event everyone was happy spending time with their friends and loved ones. The clashing of languages and music was one to be herd as every hundred feet you walked down the street had felt if you entered a new country. Throughout my time on interacting with these different people quite a few things had stood out to me. One was that the Italians were very loud and almost obnoxious. However, they managed to be quite friendly with an outgoing personality. Another thing that stood out to me is how many of the Spanish nationalities were quite sarcastic and liked to joke around. They were also very big advocates rice any many of the males were smoking a hookah. Overall the festival reminded me of New York city, due to the vast variety of people present all minding their own business. The smell of the festival was utterly amazing. From sauces to a wide spread availability of chicken dishes, the air was tainted with deliciousness. Due to this smell I reacted in a way that had made me gain about ten pounds in a measly two hours. The festival made me feel very happy and welcomed due to the great spirit of people from all around the world enjoying the spreading of a little bit of their culture with the community. I suppose I had these reactions because I myself enjoyed the festival just as much as those who created it. The aspect of the cultures I was most successful with was defiantly the edible proportions of what each nationality had offered. Throughout my life I have loved eating food from all around the world, so this festival was right up my alley. I had even managed to find some dishes that I have never seen before nor could I announce the name of them. However, the main aspect of the cultures I had seen today that I have struggled with the language barrier. Lack of understanding what I was trying to ask them and or what they were trying to tell me was difficult and frustrating. It made them lose interest in the conversation and truly did act as a major barrio between cultures. If I Had the chance to repeat the festival, I would have brought a set of prepared question to ask several different nationalities in which I could compare and contrast the responses of each.  Thus allowing me to really be able to differentiate the finer aspects of each culture. Another thing that I would of done if I had the chance would be to not eat for a week and get my stomach nice and ready.

Dylan Carter Individual Blog:

On Saturday February 23rrd I had the opportunity to observe a Tai Chi lesson at Wah Lum Kung Fu of Tampa on Rome Ave. This was a very new and interesting cultural experience because not only have I never seen the actual practice of Tai Chi or Kung Fu or seen the inside of a martial arts studio, but I wasn’t even completely aware of what exactly Tai Chi and Kung fu was or how it differentiated from regular karate. The building was very unique and had a strange smell upon walking in. Both the inside and outside of the building is different than anything you would normally see in our culture, from the architecture of the building to the Chinese decor covering inside and out. Throughout the building there are many dragon portraits and statues that symbolize power, strength and good luck in the Chinese culture. I felt a little uncomfortable at first because I felt out of place in an environment I’ve never been exposed to before. When we entered workout room of we were greeted by an elderly man, the Tai Chi and Kung Fu instructor. He welcomed us in with open arms and seemed happy that we were interested in his practice that he is clearly very passionate about. He welcomed us to sit in to observe classes anytime and requested that we didn’t take pictures during the lesson. When you think of Tai Chi, you probably picture people fighting aggressively with unique wild moves. It is actually more relaxed and involves more meditation than you would expect. The instructor heavily emphasized the use of concentration, breathing techniques and properly using your energy to your advantage. The training methods are said to be very effective in creating a strong body and mind. The moves he was teaching didn’t seem as quick and aggressive as the karate moves I imagined and have seen in the past. They were slower movements with more precision and balance. The instructor shared cultural stories with his students throughout the class that were very interesting to hear. There were only six students in the class, two women and four men, all middle aged adults who seemed very interested in the culture and practice. I think an aspect of the culture that I was successful with was keeping an open mind in really trying to understand what the culture includes, its importance and its main attributes. If I were to repeat the experience I would have done more research to come in with more knowledge about Tai Chi, Kung Fu and their culture itself to deepen my understanding even more. I don’t think I would consistently practice this art or ever want to use it because it doesn’t have much importance to me or relevance in my culture, but it was awesome to learn about. Overall this was a great experience that really taught me a lot. I appreciated the opportunity to look into a different culture and way of life that I’ve never really seen before. I would definitely recommend this experience to others because there’s a lot more to this culture than just what than average American would see in the movies.

Eric Sullivan Individual Blog:

On Saturday February 23rd, I actively observed and partially participated in a Tai Chi class. This building offers both Kung Fu and Tai Chi lessons and is located on Rome Ave in Tampa, Florida. This was a completely new experience unlike anything I’ve done before. I pass by this building everyday going to and from campus and always joked around with my roommates about going in and taking a class, and finally this project gave me an excuse to really go in and do it. Upon opening the main door, you enter a room with an old musky smell littered with Chinese artifacts and knick-knacks. At first, I did not feel immediately welcomed, as the woman in the front room was on a phone call and quickly shewed me away into the large workout room. It was there where I felt extremely welcomed by an elderly male, who was the instructor of both Tai Chi and Kung Fu classes. The old man was happy to see a new face expressing interest in his classes. He told me I am welcomed to sit in on any classes and watch for free anytime. He preferred I did not take any pictures of the class in session or of himself, so I respected his wish. I was however able to snap this photo of the inside when he was not looking. The photo is a small example, but certainly does not express how sentimental this place really is. Taking this felt like I went back in time 100 years to a small Chinese village and it felt like I was really there. Although Tai Chi is a fighting art, it was rather peaceful and relaxing for most of it. The instructor stressed that concentrated breathing and properly using your energy are the most important aspects of battle. With that being said, a lot of the class consisted of breathing and balance exercises to get warmed up. He often talked about yin and yang, he said “inhale, exhale”, “Fight, Rest”, “Expand, Contract”. I liked how he talked and told little stories throughout the entire class. He was here to teach us not only moves but also explained how these techniques are to be used all throughout different aspects of life especially love. It was not all meditation, there were times where he showed a move and people would practice them. They were very unique and at times looked like orchestrated dances. To be completely honest I couldn’t see myself using any of the moves shown in a confrontation, but that could be because I was only observing one class. The instructor saw I was dressed in athletic wear so he allowed me to do some warm up exercises and push-ups. I did not pay to attend this lesson. There were only six other people in the class, they seemed to be in the ages of 35-45, two women and four men. I felt as if this particular building and perhaps the art in general is underappreciated and does not intake a lot of money, as it is a place of business, I feel as if it does not have many years remaining unless something is done about it.

[liviz-luv]

1-100 you coward

i love you anon, i hope you know that.

1: How tall or short do you wish you were?Surprisingly I like being 5′2/5′3, i just wish people weren’t so darn tall. I mean i really have to break my neck just to look at Freshmen. FRESHMEN!

2: What’s your dream pet? (Real or not)A puppy and kitty, I also want a Dragon and a Hydra (from Greek Mythology).

3: Do you have a favorite clothing style?I really like the American style from the ‘70s and back. But I’m a sucker for ‘90s grunge/punk. I also like really cute aesthetic things.

4: What was your favorite video game growing up?Marvel’s Ultimate Alliance 1 & 2. MAN i remember being a lil toddler and holding the 360 controller and going ham on that game with my parents, older sister and uncle… good times good time. THANKFULLY XBOX ONE HAS IT TOO AND I PLAY IT LIKE IT’S MY SOULMATE!

5: What three things/people do you think of most each day:School, Stress, Sleep.

6: If you had a warning label, what would yours say?It would have to say sumn’ like: “BEWARE! Easily hurt, but will not hesitate to put you in your place.” Or “Likes Cuddles, Physical attention and Attention in general,” Or “Watch your S/O She’s out” Or “WARNING! Confident Gay but Panicked Heterosexual/Straight”.

7: What is your opinion on [insert person/thing here]?UHH….yes. Jk, um. My opinion on Zodiac/Horoscope/Tarot Reading.

I just like to read personality traits of diff Zodiac signs (Black women understand), that’s about it. I personally steer away from anything other than that, just my personal preferences, but i’m not here to say that i reject people like that or shame them, i respect everything as much as possible. 

8: What is your Greek personality type? [Sanguine, Phlegmatic, Choleric, or Melancholic]surprisingly i have no idea what  this means, and i’m a Ancient Greek fanatic.

Okay now i do, It says that i’m Sanguine, but i noticed that i was tied with both Sanguine and Melancholic. not really sure what that means….but okay.

9: Are you ticklish?No. not really that is.

10: Are you allergic to anything?bullcrap. stupidity. really though, Pineapple Kiwi and Milk.

11: What’s your sexuality?

bi.

12: Do you prefer tea, coffee, or cocoa?all three.

13: Are you a cat or dog person?Dog person by nature. Although i love cats, i have a soft abyss for dogs

14: Would you rather be a vampire, elf, or merperson?

UP WHERE THEY STAY ALL DAY IN THE SUN!

A MERMAID!!! I have had the biggest crush on mermaids since before i could remember.

15: Do you have a favorite Youtuber?Liza Koshy, exosexo, and many more, just ask me for a part two. i love crack video youtubers

16: How tall are you?

5′2/5′3 not really sure, just that i’m fun sized. :)

17: If you had to change your name, what would you change it to?When I was younger, I had this odd fixation with the name Victoria, and Jade. then last week i found out that when my grandmother was choosing a name form my youngest uncle my mother had a fixation on Victoria also. so maybe it a genetic fixation.

18: How much do you weigh? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]last time i checked i weighed 120lbs, but i never get heavier than 125 so any where in between could be true. 54.43klg - 56.69klg

19: Do you believe in ghosts/spirits?angles & demons: yes, ghosts: no, well more like supernatural. Like a ‘ghost’ of a person living on in your thoughts and memories, then yes, ‘ghosts’ are real.

20: Do you like space or the ocean more?trick question. I love both too much. the stars are full of wonder and mystery. the ocean is full of questions and fright.

21: Are you religious?maybe…not really sure. I definitely know that i respect people and their faiths because that’s how i was raised and i don’t like blasphemy of any kind.

22: Pet peeves?ignorance, being judgmental ect.23: Would you rather be nocturnal or diurnal [opposite of nocturnal]?nocturnal. i am a natural night owl, AND I AIN’T CHANGING!

24: Favorite constellation?

oof. i really have no idea, maybe the Libra constellation because that’s my Zodiac

25: Favorite star?

second star to the right, and straight on till morning. (if you get that reference, you are now my favorite person). the north star that lead the slaves to FREEDOM!

26: Do you like ball-jointed dolls?

no and yes, no because they look creppy and yes because they are easier to use as a drawing model.

27: Any phobias or fears?

acrophobia, claustrophobia, uhhh, atelophobia, many more. Sleep paralysis (that is soo scary and it happens frequently to me too.) 

28: Do you think global warming is real?

have you walked outside?????? i want your opinion. because i know that Global Warming is a real thing and it is happening.

29: Do you believe in reincarnation?

no.

30: Favorite movie?anything Marvel, Disney, 60s and back… anything Tom Holland, Benedict Cumberbatch, Tom Hardy, Ryan Reynolds, or Pokémon.

31: Do you get scared easily?no. not really. it’s gotta be some outta this world creepy mess and demonic stuff.

32: How many pets have you own in your lifetime?

a few fish when i was a lil tot, then a puppy, two cats, and a bunny right now. his name is Ash Ketchum.

33: Blog rate? [You’ll rate the blog of the one who’s asking.]

this was an anon, but imma say 100/10

34: What is a color that calms you?

blue, pastels.

35: Where would you like to travel and/or live?

Anywhere outside of America. I always wanted to go to Africa, Puerto Rico France & Italy to see my heritage, and South Korea so that i can get a feel of the culture up close and in real time.

36: Where were you born?

in a hospital. on Earth.

37: What is your eye color?

Dark Chocolate.

38: Introvert or extrovert?

Ambivert with Introvert tendencies.

39: Do you believe in horoscopes and zodiacs?

zodiac, yes. Horoscopes, no. But I understand where people get the belief that the horoscope will help you live ‘your best life’ i guess you could say. but personally no.

40: Hugs or kisses?

hugs. physical contact beyond that freaks me out. but i like it.

41: Who is someone you would like to see/visit right now?

my bias list and family, and my tumblr friends and tumblr crushes, and my friends i don’t get to see on a regular basis.

42: Who is someone you love deeply?

Do people on my bias list count (no.)…oh okay. uh, i guess my family.

43: Any piercings you want?

i remember in middle school i was abosultly in love with the Emo scene (still am tho) and I wanted Plugs(i have two), and snake bites. My mom never objected…but still idk i still want them, but i’m afraid of needles

44: Do you like tattoos and piercings?

have you seen B.A.P, GOT7 or Jay Park. or any person who makes Emo/Post-Hardecore/Punk music?? IS THAT EVEN A QUESTION??!! REALLY THO

45: Do you smoke or have you eiver done so?

yes. i vaped and i smoked weed. i don’t recommend because it’s not good for you. please don’t hate me.

46: Talk about your crush, if you have one!

he teaches my lil bro to play Saxophone. he’s a senior, uhhhhhh. he’s honest, and taller than me. but i mean anyone could be taller that me. and he helps me write lyrics, and he doesn’t know i like him. oooh~ he and i both fought for the top shelves because we’re tops and alphas. so it’s funny.

47: What is a sound you really hate?

loud unneeded sounds, loud voices for no reason.

48: A sound you really love?

music, laughs from my friends, baby laughs. the voice of people i love. crunching leaves, the sound of my tea kettle, popcorn. dogs barking, cats meowing.

49: Can you do a backflip?

nope

50: Can you do the splits?

nope

51: Favorite actor and/or actress?

marvel. Angelina Jolie, Will Smith, Jada Pinkett-Smith, Noah Centeno ect. ZENDAY AND TOM HOLLAND 

52: Favorite movie?

Spider-Man (all of them), really old ones Like Shirly Temple movies. Disney, ect.

53: How are you feeling right now?

tired.

54: What color would you like your hair to be right now?

blue, anything pastel really

55: When did you feel happiest?

when i’m listening to new music and i get lost in it. heck when i’m listening to music and i get lost in it. when i talk about something that i’m passionate about. when i’ve somehow cheated the system by making someone feel special

56: Something that calms you down?

sleep.

57: Have any mental disorders? [Only ask this if you know the user doesn’t mind!]

depression, anxiety, social anxiety, O.C.D, i’m not sure about one were you detach yourself from your ‘mind’ and just become numb to everything, but yeh got that. 

58: What does your URL mean?

bde-wonho-yoongi. It was supposed to be bde-soft-wonho-yoongi, but i said naah. it just means that they radiate dominance and i love people like that. like it drives me insane cuz i demand dominance too, so it’s like who will come out on top.

59: What three words describe you the most?

Scary, Caring, Sleep

60: Do you believe in evolution?

no.

61: What makes you unfollow a blog?

porn, mainly just because i was not prepared for it. Hate speech, and ignorance

62: What makes you follow a blog?

having content that i look for.

63: Favorite kind of person:

Someone like my best friend @rome-arrow. Someone who understands me and some how can handle my antics. Someone who listens.

64: Favorite animal(s):

the living kind/

65: Name three of your favorite blogs.

other than my mutual @monstaxnight @minmindreams @wonhopes

66: Favorite emoticon:

😂🤣😅😆😉😊😋😎😍😐😑😶😢😭😛😜😝

67: Favorite meme:

oof yall already know

68: What is your MBTI personality type?

Mediator (INFP-t)

69: What is your star sign?

Libra AND PROUD

70: Can your dog roll over on command, if you have a dog?

i think of i tried her enough then when she was around she would have

71: What outfit out of all your clothes do you like to wear the most?

skinny black jeans, baggy flannel a band tee, snap-back and some shades.

72: Post a selfie or two?

now?? uuh it won’t let me add it. Just go on my website and look under the link “me”

73: Do you have platform shoes?

nope

74: What is one random but interesting fact about yourself?

i’m double jointed.

75: Can you do a front flip?

on a trampoline.

76: Do you like birds?

yes

77: Do you like to swim?

i don’t know how…. but yes. i like being in water

78: Is swimming or ice skating more fun to you?

neither. i don’t know how to do either. but i preferer swimming

79: Something you wish didn’t exist:

pain

80: Some thing you wish did exist:

mythological beings

81: Piercings you have?

ears.

82: Something you really enjoy doing:

sleeping, writing, reading, listening to music

83: Favorite person to talk to:

@rome-arrow

84: What was your first impression of Tumblr?

I heard Troye Sivan and Dan & Phil talking about it so i was like sure, and i some of my favorite memes come from here. so i thought it was a safe place. and it is for now.

85: How many followers do you have?

94

86: Can you run a mile within ten minutes?

hell no

87: Do your socks always match?

nope

88: Can you touch your toes and keep your legs straight completely?

only with my left side

89: What are your birthstones?

Opal

90: If you were an animal, which one would you be?

prob a Puppy or Kola, or Sloth, or a cheetah (i used to be the fasted person on my middle school track/cross country team. and when i was a little girl i wanted one as a pet and i wanted to be one ‘when i grew up’

91: If a flower could aesthetically represent you, what kind would it be?

dead rose. it’s cliché but not all at the same time. It’s a glimpse of the dead past in our hands, plus they smell good.

92: A store you hate?

Spencer’s.

93: How many cups of coffee can you drink in one day?

as many as i want

94: Would you rather be able to fly or read minds?

fly. so that i could get places faster

95: Do you like to wear camo?

yes

96: Winter or summer?

summer

97: How long can you hold your breath for?

as long as it takes me to see the promised land.

98: Least favorite person?

my biological father

99: Someone you look up to:

my mother

100: A store you love?

Hottopic

I’M DONE WOOOOOOOOO

GIVE ME MORE STUFF