#two more days till mri just two more days

[theinternetisaweboflies]

Love’s What Makes a Shatterdome a Shatterhome

There wasn't a sufficient sample size of Jaeger pilots who had both survived long enough for chronic effects of the drift to be studied comprehensively, but there were a couple of disability discharges who reported ghost drift over a decade after service.

It was usually stronger in REM, shared nightmares of shared trauma. It could also manifest as emotions, thoughts, physical sensations, or even idiosyncrasies. Raleigh Beckett swore he had never bitten his nails till he drifted with Mako Mori.

As Dr. Hermann Gottleib put it once (but only after he’d drifted with Dr. Newton Geizsler), “The ghost drift is hinky.”

It was hinkier if you third-wheeled with a kaiju.

Newt and Hermann both experienced the surviving hive mind’s collective fury at their inability to reopen the Breach. It kept them in Medical for two weeks, clutching their heads, or sometimes each other’s.

A paragraph from Hermann’s 2021 paper on drift-related neurological damage suggested that co-treatment benefited the affected pilots, but it was the response from pilots themselves that cemented it as medical practice. Queen-sized gurneys and hospital beds were standard at most Shatterdomes by 2025.

After a couple o f weeks in Medical, Hermann’s migraines began to dissipate. 

Newt’s did not. 

The Ghost drift was even hinkier if it was just you and the kaiju.

“Hey, Hermann?” said Newt. 

They finally had a brief respite from Medical’s gauntlet of neurological tests, from MRI scans to a a brain biopsy when Newt's scans revealed encephalitis. They were sitting in bed, side by side, Newt filling out reports on his tablet, and Hermann writing equations on the actual paper that he still insisted on using like he was Amish or something. Newt definitely did not think that was cute. He’d only indulged it during their penpal days because something about pen and paper seemed to slow down his thought processes a little. Unless that was just Hermann.

Hermann gave a distracted but encouraging hum. 

“We’re going to be together for- for a while longer right?” asked Newt. 

Hermann looked up, no longer distracted now that there was an opportunity to be snippy. “Were you even paying attention to the doctors this morning?”

“No.” Newt shrugged. “I knew you were.”

Hermann gave one of his long-suffering sighs. “According to the medical professionals who are doing their utmost to keep you alive despite your predilection for suicidal recklessness and energy drinks, we will be together for the foreseeable future. I am, apparently, the only available control for all of your…” he gestured vaguely at all of Newt, “variables.”

“That was a yes, right?”

“Yes.” Hermann sighed again. “I was just beginning to picture a life outside of this place too. Can you imagine? No more brutalist architecture.”

“I found the brutalist architecture comforting. It’s always the same, where you go. Like McDonald’s,” said Newt, before adding, “No more morning reveille.”

“Of course that’s what you would look forward to.” Hermann rubbed his bad hip absentmindedly.  “No more having to traverse miles of Jaeger bays for coffee that tastes like it was brewed in one of your sample tanks.” 

“You didn’t know about my side hustle?” Newt joked, because he was still Newt, at least for now. The world could be ending, and he would be joking about it. He had done so repeatedly, in fact, until Stacker Pentecost took him aside to tell him that ongoing counted as ‘too soon.’ After that, he kept his gallows humor to the lab, where it was, if not appreciated, at least tolerated. 

Hermann almost smiled. 

It was now or never. 

“Hey, uh, can I ask you for a favor?” 

“What?” Hermann’s eyebrows shot up so high they were hidden by his bowlcut. 

Newt never asked for favors. He demanded: peer review, full control of their ostensibly shared radio, attention. He took: liberties, five hours to reply to an email despite having a comparable number of screens open simultaneously, bites of Hermann’s food when he was distracted. 

Newt didn’t like to ask for anything. He had gotten the impression early in life that the answer would always be no. 

He hadn’t even asked Hermann to drift with him. Sometimes that helped with the guilt, but not often. 

“If I start acting weird- I mean weird for me- Look, you know me better than anyone.” Newt couldn’t look Hermann in the eye after that, so he made his request to Hermann’s knees. “Promise me if I start acting weird in a weird way, you’ll stop me.”

“Stop you?” 

“Just do something. Or make sure I don’t do… something. I don’t know, man. I-”

“Newton, you’re shaking.” Hermann sounded like he had just finished an equation only to realize he forgot to carry the two several chalkboards back. “You’re scared. You’re never scared…. You weren’t even scared when you drifted with a kaiju.” 

Newt was suddenly grateful that Hermann hadn’t accompanied him to the bone slums, and not just because he never would have made it to the shelter on time. 

“Maybe I should have been?” It was the closest Newt would ever get to admitting he was wrong, at least in front of Hermann. 

“What are you talking about, Newton?”

“It’s like…. I can tell when you’re ghost drifting with the hive, right?” Newt started awkwardly. “It’s always at night, and it always wakes you up, even though you act like it doesn’t, like you forget you’re attached to about seven different monitors, and I can feel it through our ghost drift, but it’s so fucking faint .”

“Faint?” repeated Hermann, although for a second Newt thought it was a warning because he had gone even paler than usual. 

“When I see them…. it’s different. It’s intense, but I don’t think it even makes it through our drift. It’s like they’re in my brain instead of my mind.”

“What does that even mean ?”

“I don’t know, man. Maybe there isn’t a word for it in our language, like schadenfreude or something. I don’t fucking know. All I know is-” here Newt realizes he hadn’t inhaled in a while and took a deep breath. “I’m the only connection left. Maybe it would be better if-”

“No!”

Newt was usually the loud one, but this time it was Hermann turning heads. A nurse hushed them. Hermann didn’t seem to notice.

His forehead hit Newt’s own hard enough to be considered assault, but then he just… left it there. 

Usually, when they weren’t in the middle of a seance with the Hive, they kept to their sides of their Queen-sized hospital bed, despite the lack of tape. Now Hermann’s breath was on Newt’s face, and his hands were on his wrists, white-knuckled, like he knew what was under the tattoos. 

Newt felt something through their ghost drift, but it was gone before he could parse it. 

“No,” Hermann said again. Well, it was his favorite word. “We’ll talk to Medical. We’ll explain that you- we require further testing.”

“Hermann, they biopsied my brain. If they tested me any further, it would be vivisection. They haven’t found shit. Whatever the Precursors are doing to me-”

“What did you call them?” Hermann interrupted. He rarely let Newt finish his sentences, which Newt had tried to convince himself was romantic at one point. Then again, Newt’s sentences did tend to run on. Sometimes even he lost track of what he was saying. It had been happening a lot more often of late. 

“I- What? What did I call who?”

“The- You just called them the Precursors.”

Newt hadn’t even noticed. “That doesn’t make sense,” he said, mostly to himself. “I can’t speak their language. How could I tell what they were saying?”

“Please tell me this is all one of your horrible jokes,” said Hermann. “I would be so relieved that I probably wouldn’t even slap you.”

“That actually sounds kind of hot, but I’m not joking. Even I have my limits. Apparently.”

Hermann shook his head, either in disagreement or in disbelief. 

“Look, Hermann… If I tell Medical about this, I’m probably going to end up in some basement facility in New Mexico for the rest of my life, or- hell, maybe they will vivisect me.”

“You can’t believe that.”

“You can’t believe that ! They’re not going to risk another war over one annoying scientist.”

“You saved the world,” said Hermann.

“Not if I end it next,” said Newt. He let that sink in for a moment before continuing. “Look, man, I’d have already given myself an air embolism, but I would appreciate some time to settle affairs first. Say goodbye to Dad and Uncle Illia, make sure the history wikis get it right- that sort of thing. You’re the only person I can trust to buy me that time.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, while Hermann processed that. Newt knew better than to rush him. He was calculating probabilities in that big beautiful brain of his. At least the Precursors hadn’t gotten it. Newt could die happy enough, knowing that.

“It might yet fade,” Hermann said eventually. “Ghost drifts often do. Until then, we’ll stay together. I’ll monitor you for aberrant behavior, as you requested.”

“You’d do that for me?” Newt asked, and didn’t redact himself this time. 

“Yes.”

“You’d kill me?” Hermann flinched, but Newt could never shut up, even when he knew he should. “Only if I’m too far gone to do it myself. Please, Hermann. Promise.”

“...I promise.” Hermann’s voice was so quiet that Newt could barely hear it over the hum of their fourteen collective monitors. 

“Thanks, man.” That didn’t exactly cover it, but Newt didn’t think either one of them could handle what he wanted to say. He cleared his throat. “So when we move in together…. What’s your pet policy?”

“Please tell me you have not cloned miniature kaiju, Newton.” Hermann still sounded like he was doing that stiff-upper-lip thing even though he wasn’t even really British.

“Shh. Don’t give the Precursors any ideas.”

“Precursors. Are you sure you didn’t make that up? You do make up a lot of words.”

“All words are made up,” said Newt.

“Not usually all at once though.”

“Is this about ‘al desko’ again?”

“The term is ‘al fresco’.”

“Not when it’s at your desk. Loosen up a little, Hermann. It’s a neologism. English is a living language.”

He sniffed daintily. “Well, perhaps it should be put out of its misery.”

Hermann was still sniffing a few minutes later, so Newt turned to face the window and give him a little privacy. He supposed small talk was a lot to ask someone who you had also asked to euthanize you. 

He couldn’t tell Hermann that the ghost drift was doing the opposite of fading. Already, he could feel the Precursors’ presence in his mind, not quite constantly, but near enough, like a song that gets stuck, or guilt you can’t talk yourself out of, or a headache that no amount of military-grade Ibuprofen can cure.

Newt also had a real headache, but that might have been from Hermann’s headbutt. He was surprisingly strong for a… Herman. Must have been all that physiotherapy. Newt tried thinking about baseball before the monitors could give away the direction his thoughts had actually taken. Unfortunately, he knew jack shit about baseball.

“Hey, Hermann?” Newt turned back around, figuring he’d given Hermann at least a minute to himself, which was probably some sort of record. 

Hermann was already looking at him, an unreadable expression on his face. Maybe the stiff upper lip was something they taught in those British boarding schools.

Newt found he didn’t know what to say. Not that it had ever stopped him before. “I don’t know about you, but I’m actually going to miss this place a little.”

“Medical?”

“Hong Kong,” he corrected. “Well mostly the lab, I guess.”

The stacks of books they used as furniture because the furniture was all covered with books. Hermann’s chalkboards with the ladder he insisted on climbing, despite the pain it caused him, and despite the fact that Newt always offered to give him a piggyback ride instead. The Milking Machine, which Newt referenced by name as often as possible just to see Hermann’s wince. 

“We really made this Shatterdome a Shatterhome.”

Newt felt something like pain through his ghost drift with Hermann. He was about to protest that his joke wasn’t that bad, when he realized that it was everything Hermann had just been trying to hide. 

Hermann had Kept Calm and Carried On for over a decade of war, during which Newt had only seen him cry once, and that was when he had to use the eyewash station after a possible kaiju blue contamination. Even so, he’d seemed embarrassed. Now there were tears dripping down his ridiculous cheekbones and he wasn’t even wiping them away. 

Newt wiped a few of them away before he realized that was probably weird. He’d sort of forgotten they weren’t his for a second. His hand hovered in midair between them, movement aborted but not yet redirected.

“Yes,” said Hermann, taking hold of Newt’s hand and enclosing it between both his own. “I suppose we did.”

[cljordan-imperium]

Pixies - PT1 (JAN 2016)

Due to a newly discovered allergy to MRI spinal contrast, I am sidelined for a second day and unable to do final revisions on the chapter that was supposed to be next. Instead, I'll take you back in time 6 years...to when Brie was an RP Character and I wrote a multi part storyline because my writing partners were all busy and I was bored. Enjoy!!

I pressed “END” and stared at the phone in my hand.  I’d just gotten off the phone with Eric and made sure he was at the club and would be there till it closed.  We were getting ready to head out to battle a small army of demonic pixies, something that had apparently not been seen on Earth since around the time my brother was born.  To give you a clue on about how long ago that was. Justinian I was a childhood friend of my brother.  Yes, THAT Justinian I that was emperor of Rome.  The last demonic pixie infestation is said to be one of the reasons for the Nika Riots that took place in Constantinople in 529 AD.  In case you have never heard of these riots, because I certainly hadn’t before this whole thing started, let me give you a short lesson.  Two things to remember about these riots that lasted over a week is that they destroyed over half of the city and there were over thirty thousand people killed. 

If you were to sit down and Google Nika Riots like I did you would be confused on how a dispute over the pardoning of two members of rival chariot racing teams could lead to such chaos and devastation. According to history, sporting teams and in particular chariot racing teams were like the mob, street gangs and a political action committee all rolled into one.  There were two main ones, the Blues and the Greens.  The Blues were the favorite of Justinian by the way.  For a reason that is never quite explained easily, supposedly the Blues and the Greens fans and members got into a riot after one particularly ugly chariot race and it resulted in over 500 team members and fans being arrested for murder.  They were all convicted and sentenced to be hung.  All but two of them were, those two escaped and it just so happened it was one from each team.  To try and keep the peace among his people, Justinian commuted their sentences to imprisonment but the fans and team members demanded total absolution. This lead to yet another chariot race to determine their fate. Somewhere in the middle of the race, both teams and fans unified to not cheer against each other but to start ranting and challenging Justian. While this doesn’t make sense much to begin with, what came next makes no more and possibly even less. 

By the time you’re done reading about the strange politics and maneuvers that my brother’s friend supposedly did to end the riot that killed so many and destroyed so much, you’ll be sitting there thinking that they must have been half mad in those times.  While my brother’s behavior at times does tend to make me wonder about that, the truth is that to cover such a strange happening as the uprising of thousands of demonic pixies, you have to come up with a very strange tale to explain the devastation that ensued.  So, you end up with what history has recorded.  Now, so you can understand my concern for Eric and why we now had over 700 Nephilim on the grounds of the clave and even more portalling in almost every minute, I’ll tell you what really happened.

The Nephilim have been in existence since the first sin was committed and demonic forces first held sway over man.  There are stories they came later, but in reality our race is as old as mankind itself.  By the time of the Nika Riots, there were claves of Nephilim in all major ancient cities.  In those times we didn’t have to hide our true nature,  people of those times were more accepting that there were beings and beasts that were not of humanity and had not relegated them yet to the bedtime stories meant to scare and thrill.  Constantinople had one of the largest claves in the area, and it also had a horrid demon problem that didn’t seem to be diminishing over the years.  As the clave grew, so did the demonic presence.  Some would say that this was to keep the balance of power between good and evil, others have various theories, but everyone agrees that’s just how it was.  

Normally the demonic forces took their normal forms, that is until 529 when the first reported sightings of demonic pixies was recorded in Constantinople.  Now, we’re not talking about just a few demonic pixies, we’re talking about thousands of them suddenly appeared in the city, and for some reason the chariot races seemed to annoy them.  So at each race, a horde of demonic pixies would rise up and attack the spectators, often killing dozens through the use of their magic.  Being as pixies are, at their tallest, three inches in height, they were hard to kill with the weapons that were in existence at the time because they weren’t accurate enough.  The populace demanded that Justinian do something about this since his association with the Nephilim, mainly my brother, was well known.  The problem at hand were the weapons the Nephilim used were no different then in most respects than they are today.  Rarely does our race encounter such small demonic forces.

Race after race, people were being attacked and killed till that fateful day when the riots began.  More pixies than normal swarmed into the stadium as the races commenced and began the slaughter of the mortals that were there.  Outraged that Justinian had done nothing to thwart the problem, those in attendance began to riot the palace that was next door to the colosseum since it seemed to be immune from the pixie attacks and they blamed Justinian for not having this problem resolved already.  Justinian sent word to the clave of what had happened and requested immediate assistance.  Even in ancient times, Nephilim could portal, so the clave sent out messengers to all the major claves and soon an army of Nephilim were at the palace.

Because the rioting was even more disruptive than the chariot races, the pixies never relented on their attacks on the mortals.  This was what accounted for the high death rate.  Mortals, not able to combat the pixies began trying to catch them on fire.  Pixie wings will burn, but they do so slowly which only caused fire to spread throughout the city, causing the devastation that history has recorded.  Even with the massive army of Nephilim on hand, eradicating the pixies was a slow and tedious process since they could only be killed by iron.  For each pixie, it would need to be struck by iron to knock it to the ground, where it would then be impaled by iron and killed.  When you are battling thousands of pixies, killing them one at a time is not a very productive, nor speedy, process.  So again a call went out among the Nephilim for the mages to be brought together to find a remedy that would allow the Nephilim army to take down the pixies in large groups.

The mages worked tirelessly around the clock as the rioting and pixie attacks continued throughout the city.  Using a few pixies that the Nephilim forces had captured as test subject, the mages tried all different matter of spells, potions, poultices, and powders.  None seemed to have much affect, even those that contained substantial amounts of iron.  Justinian and the Nephilim Council of the time were beginning to believe that the city would fall to complete ruin and that the pixie problem would spread throughout the Roman Empire if it were not contained quickly.  More mages were brought in and more test subjects captured.  Any and every possible idea was to be tested until one could be found that would work.

 

It was during one trial when a mage realized why none of the powders were working, they fell right off of the pixies.  A way needed to be found to make the powder stick to the pixie and then it would work.  Since the pixies were also demonic, the mage came up with perfect plan.  The powder to be used was to be a combination of blessed salt and finely shaved iron, a rather coarse grit instead of fine grit powder.  While the elements of the powder were mixed together, the mage would recite blessings and incantations that gave the powder the power of the Divine.  An Elemental Nephilim would be required for this to work properly, as there had to be something for the powder to stick to on the pixie.  The day before the recorded end to the riots, the first trial was held in a courtyard of the palace.  The Elemental Nephilim caused a fine mist to form in the air around the pixies.  Other Nephilim then used bellows to blow the powder mixture onto the pixies.  As the mage had predicted the pixies fell like stones to the ground and seemed unable to get up from the weight of the powder now stuck to them, they also are reported to have been slightly smoking.  Large iron shields were then used to smash the pixies to death.  

Word was sent out quickly through the city to gather whatever large iron objects could be brought to the colosseum to smash all pixies that could be found, since they most often congregated there because that is where the rioters who were still trying to breach the palace were creating the greatest disturbance.  On that day, it was not one team’s supporters who were rushed out of the colosseum, it was all mortals that were rushed out as the army of Nephilim rushed in.  The Elemental Nephilim took positions high around the colosseum and created an atmospheric disturbance that formed a light mist in the air that coated Nephilim and pixie alike.  As soon as all were coated, the mist was dissepated and the Nephilim on the colosseum floor drew out dry bellows containing the blessed and enchanted powder that they filled the air of the colleseum with until all of the  pixies lay writhing on it’s foor.  Nephilim and mortal alike began using the gathered iron objects to smash all the pixies to death.  In the records it is said that the dead pixies covered the floor of the colosseum in a two inch thick layer, which is about four pixie bodies thick.  To take care of the pixies that were still elsewhere in the city, pairs of Nephilim, one of whom was an Elemental, were sent out throughout the city.  Within 24 hours, all of the pixies were dead.  

As time moved forward and the belief in the supernatural diminished, no longer could the story be told of the pixie invasion of Constantinople.  Those who passed on the history had to come up with mortal reasons for the devastation and massive loss of life that happened during that week.  How they decided in the end to make it over chariot races, I still haven’t quite determined.  Personally, even to the logical mortal mind a pixie invasion would make more sense than that!  But, that is what history has stuck with and no man the world over believes.  Unfortunately, the pixie problem has resurfaced again in my city.  It is threatening those I love and the innocents that I protect.  Now it is my clave who has called on Nephilim the world over to come to our aid to wipe out an infestation that is as large as the one that Justinian faced.  I am hoping the only known living Nephilim who attended that erradication of the first infestation, my brother, will make it back to the clave before we must leave to face this deadly and tiny foe.  Otherwise, this is my battle to lead and honestly I’m a little nervous about that.

THE IMPERIUM CHRONICLES TAG LIST - @ceph-the-ghost-writer @kjscottwrites @writingpotato07 @saltysupercomputer @careful-pyromancer @late-to-the-fandom @autumnalwalker @perasperaadastrawriting @fearofahumanplanet @jessica-writes22 @dogmomwrites @mjjune @verba-writing @blind-the-winds @shipping-through-eternity

Anyone wanting added/removed, just let me know.

[healthcareindia1]

Fibroid रसौली का बिना ऑपरेशन इलाज by most advance method EMBOLIZATION

All You Need To Know About Uterine Fibroids In this video, I, Dr. Virender Sheorain, will talk about uterine fibroids. This is for those females who are surfing with the fibroid of the uterus, medically termed as #Leiomyoma. This is a non-cancerous disease. In this case, the fibroids can grow in and on your uterus, causing symptoms to appear and females to suffer greatly. Their sufferings can be broadly divided into two parts: - Excessive bleeding: that causes hemoglobin levels to drop. - Obstructive: if the fibroid size increases, the uterus size also increases, and this puts pressure on the urinary bladder or rectum, causing #urine and constipation problems or excessive bleeding. Uterine artery embolization is the most advanced technique. Though it was started 15 to 20 years ago, it is not that popular in #india . The reason being that the patient visits their local #physician or #gynecologist , and most of the patients are not educated about this procedure. The majority of patients who come to us are referred by their #doctors , relatives, or through social media and the internet. What should we know about fibroids? - Females will have a lot of pain during their periods (menstruation). - Excessive bleeding (menorrhagia). - Will have frequent urination. - Will have #constipation How are uterine fibroids diagnosed? Fibroids can be felt during a clinical examination by your gynecologist. Once they suspect the fibroids, they will ultimately refer you for an #ultrasound . Simple ultrasound can provide details about the size, number, and location of the fibroid to help plan its treatment. An MRI can be done to get more details. How are uterine fibroids treated? After diagnosis, there are three kinds of treatment options available for the uterus: - Medicine - Operation - Embolization #medicine : These are very temporary, have lots of side effects, and are given till you get menopause, i.e., you might be in your 40s or 50s, until your period stops and you are able to tolerate the medicines. Operation: A gynecologist recommends surgery either to remove the uterus or to remove the fibroids selectively, which is called a Myomectomy. Uterus removal has lots of side effects and hormonal effects. Sometimes patients even suffer depression as they lose their #organs . It is not a very good treatment option. #Myomectomy or selective removal of the fibroid with a #laparoscope can be a good option if performed in a good location and is easily removed. Embolization: The next option is embolization, in which a thin tube (catheter) is inserted through a blood vessel in the wrist and guided to the blood vessels that feed the fibroids of the #uterus, where tiny particles are injected to stop blood flow to the fibroids and dry them. The #symptoms then vanish or go away, and this #treatment has fewer side effects. The embolization does not need blood or #anesthesia ; you just need to stay in the hospital for 2 to 3 days for pain management. In young patients, when the fibroids are detected at an early age and they want to become #pregnant , they usually ask us whether they should opt for #surgery or embolization. In those cases, if they have one or two fibroids in a simple location, they should opt for myomectomy, but if they have multiple fibroids, embolization is a better option. It cannot be guaranteed that you can be #fertile or can conceive after surgery or embolization, but these are the only two options available. With this video, I want to spread awareness that if you or someone you know has a uterine fibroid, then do a search on the internet or watch videos of ours on uterine fibroid embolization or other similar ones. Meet a nearby #vascularsurgeon and discuss the pros and cons of it before deciding on the treatment plan. We will be happy to help you. Do visit us or raise your queries at the provided WhatsApp number.

[seratlantisite]

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[marvel-fanfic-writer-8675]

Cave

Pairings: Loki x reader, Stucky

Warnings: fluff, little angst but nothing too bad, enemies to lovers

Summary: You, Loki and Stucky stuck on an island after a mission gone wrong. In the beginning you and Loki hate each other…but…well, you’ll see

“Can’t you just magic us back to the tower?” Steve asked hopefully to Loki. “If I could I would, trust me, I don’t want to be here either. My powers are completely drained and I won’t have enough power till 3 days time.”

You, Steve, Bucky, and of course Loki, we’re stuck on an island. You were there for a mission, but it had gone wrong. The jet had crash landed, and the tracker, broke with the jet. Of course, it was also the worst time of the month for you. “Look, if we can get the tracker working or something to send a signal out, the team can see it and come save us.” You pointed out. Bucky and Steve agreed with you, but Loki, who was always arguing with you, rebutted, “and how do you plan to do that? Did you suddenly become a genius or something?”

You scowled at him, “I took a camp in high school that taught us this stuff, it was a space camp, but the same should apply.” Loki scoffed, “oh yes, let’s put all our hope in your ‘space camp.’ I think we should just wait and I’ll teleport us back in 3 days.” He turned to Steve and Bucky for backup. They just shrugged, “well it couldn’t hurt to try? And if in 3 days the transmitter isn’t done or hasn’t worked, Loki can use his powers.” You both agreed it was for the best. You’d aid you’d start tomorrow and build it, but you’d need to set up a shelter and things first.

“Alright, I saw a cave back this way, that should work, and keep us dry,” Bucky led you guys to your temporary base. After clearing the floor Steve brought up, “how about we empty our packs we have and see what we’ve got so we can ration it.” You all poured everything out, you having more than the others.

“Why do you have so much stuff?” Loki questioned. “I like to be prepared, for times like this.” You retorted. “Alright, enough you two, let’s try to not kill each other,” Steve started. “Ok, we’ve got, 8 energy bars, 8 MRIs, 8 apples, 4 bars of chocolate and 20 of these, tube things for food.” “Uh, Steve, those ‘tube things’ are not food,” you corrected. The three guys looked at you confused. “What are they?” Bucky asked. You just told them to open one. “A nose bleed stopper?” Steve guessed. Loki just looked embarrassed, “my apologies, lady Y/N,” he stuffed the rest back into your bag. “They’re stuff for my time of the month, hence the chocolate as well.” You informed the guys, they had a look of realization and apologized quickly.

“Ok, we also have, a blanket each, a change of clothes each, along with our suits, a first aid kit, some water filtration stuff, some fire starting things, a few towels from the jet, and of course, all our weapons.” Steve tracked, looking through everything. “And, Y/N, why was hair stuff considered essential to bring on missions?” You looked at Steve, slightly offended, more so because it was your time of the month. “Those aren’t mine Steven.” Loki took ownership and claimed it was necessary. “Well, we can each take turns going and bathing in the ocean, and getting out of our suits, since they’re bloody.” Bucky proposed. You all agreed, and you said you’d go last.

Everyone went and got cleaned, you were coming back, embarrassed, and wrapped in a towel. “Uh, Y/N, are you alright?” Steve asked. “No, a stupid seagull ran off with my pants and shirt, so no, I’m not alright.” Loki wordlessly took his shirt off and handed it to you. “Loki, you don’t have to-“ he cut you off, “it should be long enough since I’m much bigger than you, I don’t need it, take it.” You thanked him and went out of their sight to change. That night it was freezing cold. Even with the blanket you we’re shivering. No one else was cold of course, Bucky and Steve had each other to cuddle and keep warm, and the cold didn’t bother Loki, he was always warm, no matter the temperature. It was always warmer than what he was naturally made to handle, so he was always warmer than usual.

“Darling, I can hear you shivering, come here,” Loki called out, not bothering to open his eyes. “I’m fine Loki, pppperfectly fine.” Loki groaned and moved over to you, placing both your blankets on top of each other and snuggling close to you. “Thanks.”

The next day you spent it building the transmitter, you only stopped to eat and drink water when Loki brought it to you and made you. “Loki, you better stop that, I’m beginning to think you don’t hate me, and that you actually care about me.” Loki deadpanned, “darling, I could never hate you, and I have always cared about you. I only argued with you so you’d pay attention to me, I’m sorry.” You gave him a smile, “I care about you too Lokes, I don’t hate you either, no matter how many of my buttons you push.” Loki wrapped his arms around you from behind and hugged you.

That night you and Loki snuggled together for warmth again, this time not just for warmth but because you wanted to. The next morning you woke up early and got straight to work, you were almost finished. Around lunchtime you walked back to the cave where the guys were sitting, doing whatever they were doing. “I finished! It should work, so pack your things, Stark will hopefully be here in a little while.” Everyone was super excited and packed everything quickly. You guys didn’t eat too much, just in case it didn’t work and you still needed food till tomorrow afternoon when Loki said he’d have enough power to teleport you guys home.

“Why the hell is Y/N wearing Reindeer Game’s shirt, and why is he shirtless?!?!?” You were like a daughter to Tony so when he finally got to the island and saw you there in nothing but Loki’s shirt over your undergarments, he was just a little furious. “Seagulls are motherfuckers,” was the only explanation you gave.

Everyone on the team was happy to have you all home, though they were a little skeptical you weren’t replaced by robots after hearing that you and Loki were dating. Once they realized it was real, they were all happy, no one more than Thor though. He absolutely loved the idea of his brother and you dating.

Who knew, a terrible, mission gone wrong, didn’t turn out so, wrong and terrible, maybe it was actually a good thing.

[just-dreaming-marvel]

Love and Medicine ~ 5

MASTERLIST

< previous chapter

Word Count: 3,300ish

Summary: Scott has issues with tampons. You get pulled onto one of Steve’s cases. (I do not own Marvel or Grey’s Anatomy.)

Everyone was piling out of your car in the medical center parking garage. It was the early hours of the morning and it was time for your shifts. This morning though, Val walked in the bathroom while Scott was just taking a shower. She walked in in just a tank top and underwear, grabbed his toothbrush and began brushing her teeth.

“You don’t understand,” Scott continued as you all walked into the building. “Me gonads, you ovaries.”

“Oh, that reminds me,” Val said. “We are out of tampons.”

“You’re parading through the bathroom in your underwear when I’m naked in the shower.”

“Can you add it to your list, please?”

“What?!”

“Tampons,” you clarified. “To the list, it’s your turn.”

“I am a man!” Scott yelled. “I don’t buy girl products.”

“Ooo,” Clint grimaced. “I wouldn’t say that if you don’t want to get kicked out. Besides, I bought them last time they needed some. It’s really not a big deal.”

“Still! I don’t want them walking in while I’m in the shower. And I don’t want to see them in their underwear!”

“It doesn’t bother me, okay?” Val said. “Look at me in my underwear, Scott. Take your time. It’s no big deal.”

As you walked into the hospital and headed to the locker room, you spotted Steve down the hall. You bit your check because how could a man still look that attractive this early in the morning? All dirty scrubs and patriotic scrub cap. You got changed into your scrubs before meeting Gamora at a nurses station. Your group of interns was in charge of pre-rounds today.

“You are the first person they see in the morning,” Gamora stated, explaining how you all should act. “You say please. You say thank you. You apologize for waking them up. You make them feel good about you. Why is that important? Cause then they'll talk to you and tell you what's wrong. Why is that important? Because then you can tell you're attending what they need to know during rounds. And why is that important? Because if you make your resident look bad, she'll torture you until you beg for your mother. Now get out there. I want pre-rounds done be 5:30 am.”

You all nodded at turned away, heading to your patients.

“I better get good patients today,” you told Natasha. “Yesterday, I had two guys with colostomies who needed dressing changes every 15 minutes.”

“I’m gonna be in surgery,” Natasha responded. “Today’s my day.”

“On what?”

“Like I’d tell you.”

You squinted your eyes at her. “What do you know?”

“I know that I was here at 4:00 and you didn't get here till 4:30.”

“Tell me.”

“No. I'm not the intern who's screwing an attending.”

“I am not screw—“ 

As you turned the corner, you suddenly rammed into someone. Their hands found your arms, steadying you. When you looked up, you saw Steve smirking down on you.

“I was just looking for you,” he said.

“Oh, really?” You sqeaked, quickly clearing your throat. Natasha simply rolled her eyes before walking away. “Um, why are you here so early?”

“I have a cordotomy at 5:00. I'll be out at 6:00. I thought I might buy your breakfast before your rounds.”

“I’ve already eaten.” You moved out of his grip to head down the hall.

“What’d you have?” He asked, following you.

“None of your business.”

“You a cereal person? Straight out of the box? Or all fruit and fiber-y?” He laughed. “Waffles? Do you like waffles?”

“Fine, leftover grilled cheese. Curiosity satisfied?”

“That’s sad. Pathetic, actually. A good day starts with a good breakfast.”

“Look, I don’t want to be seen with you in this hospital. Okay? It's unprofessional.”

“I’m just an attending getting to know one of his interns.”

“The intern he slept with.”

“I barely knew you.”

“And it should stay that way.”

“You want me to be professional? Fine. I’ll be professional.”

You stopped to face him. “That’s what I want.”

“Then that’s what you’ll get.” He stared at you, glancing at your lips, as he leaned forward towards you.

“You’re gonna to be late for your cordotomy.” Then you hurried away.

“Nice talking to you, Dr. Grey!” His eyes followed you until you disappeared down another hall.

“You’re whipped,” Dr. Stark commented as he passed by. “A complete and utter, lovesick teenager who happens to be—“

“Seriously?!”

~~~

After taking care of a few patients, Scott found you walking up the stairs in the stairwell.

“There needs to be some rules,” he said.

“So, what, you and Clint can walk around in your underwear and we can’t?”

“It’s not the same—“

“Or that you can see bras just not panties? Or are we talking Amish rules here? Because if you think you’re gonna get Val to—“

“The amount of flesh exposed is not the point. You have to do something. It’s your house.”

“Clint seems fine with it.”

“Y/N—“

“Do you like Val? Is that what this is about? Do you have a crush on her?”

“Val? No. I don’t like Val. No. She’s not the one I’m attracted to.”

“Not the one.” You smirked as you opened the door and went to the nurses station you saw Gamora at. “So there’s a one?”

“That—That’s not the point! Look, there just has to be rules. I need to be able to—”

“Lang, L/N!” Gamora called. “Get Barton or Quill and head down to trauma. Rogers needs you.”

“Rogers is in surgery,” you replied, confused.

“He got pulled before he could start.”

“Great,” you breathed out quietly.

On your way to trauma, you found Peter and unfortunately had to tell him to come with you too. Walking into the trauma room, you immediately noticed what was wrong with the man on the stretcher.

“This look like—“ You began.

“Nails,” Steve interrupted. He held up on x-ray that should 7 nails in the man’s head.

“I can’t see my hands,” the patient complained.

“He’s conscious!” Scott exclaimed, completely surprised.

“Breathe, Scottie,” Peter said. “Don’t pass out.”

“Use 4 mg’s of morphine,” Steve ordered. “Titrate up to 10. You know what? I don’t want him to move.”

“I can’t see,” the man repeated.

“It’s okay,” you comforted. “We need you to be very still, Mr…?”

“Castro,” a nurse answered. “George Castro. He tripped and fell down a flight of stairs holding a nail gun.”

“Sick,” Peter commented with a nod.

“Somehow he managed to miss a blood vessel. That’s a minor miracle,” Steve said. “Optic nerve’s been affected. Can you feel this?” Steve poked George’s right side.

“No,” George answered.

“Numbness on his right side. What’s our immediate concern?”

“Infection,” you responded.

“Right. I wanna be pulling these nails out in the next half-hour. I need a CT.”

“CT’s are down,” a nurse stated.

“What?”

“They exchanged them out last night. Computer's crashed; have them back up by 1:00.”

“So typical. So what are the options?”

“An MRI?” Scott suggested.

“No!”

“Brilliant, Scottie,” Peter said. “The man's got nails in his head. Let's put him in a giant magnet. You want films from three axis points and a C-arm in surgery.”

“Excellent! You guys dig up research and find out if this has ever happened before. Go!” 

The nurses and Steve began pushing the stretcher away.

“My wife, my wife, my wife,” George cried.

“She’s on the way, Mr. Castro,” you said.

“Stay with him,” Steve told you. “Keep him calm and look for changes.”

“Ooh,” George gasped. “I can’t see.”

You and Steve shared a concerned look. 

“Watch him,” Steve instructed. “Carefully.”

With a nod, you and the nurses took George to a more private room. You’ve been asking him questions to fill out his chart.

“Would you say that your health has been good recently?” You asked.

“Maybe some headaches,” George answered. “Nothing compared to now. Sally, that’s my wife. Sally, she’ll say, ‘why you think they call it a gun, moron?’ She hates the damn thing.”

“With good reason.”

“Baby?” A woman called, entering the room with Steve.

“Sally,” George responded.

Sally rushed to his bedside. “You are in so much trouble.”

Steve leaned in to whisper to you. “Get a history from her before you scrub in.”

You had to hold in the shiver that itched to be released. “…okay…”

“Thank you.” 

You met his gaze. He definitely knew what he was doing to you, and enjoying it way too much. After asking George more questions, you allowed the nurses to prep him for surgery while you talked to Sally outside of the room.

“Will he be able to see again?” Sally wondered.

“We won’t know until the nails come out,” you replied.

“Did he tell you he takes photos? Beautiful photos. It's his hobby. I just got him a new digital camera now he can't stop, you know? He always has it out, always taking pictures of me.”

“George told me that he’s been having headaches. Can you tell me anything about them? Have they been recent?”

“Um, I’m not sure. Maybe the last couple of months.”

“Have you seen him experience any disorientation or dizziness?”

“Yes, yes, I have.”

“Okay.” You noted that in his chart, thinking that there might be an underlying cause to all this.

~~~

“Vertiginous or light-headedness?” Steve asked. You were telling him what you had discovered as he scrubbed in.

“Light-headed,” you answered. “Sometimes he’d have to brace himself to get out of bed.”

“Could be a million things. Simple orthostasis.” He noticed your face, still thinking about it. “What?”

“What made him fall down the stairs with a nail gun?”

“He said he tripped. Just because you hear hoof beats, don't assume zebras.”

“Something caused him to lose consciousness and fall down the stairs. It’s possible that he could have a tumor.”

“Look, I have no idea why this guy's still alive, let alone moving and talking. Not a clue. Let's just get him through this before we start digging around for something else.”

Steve entered the OR and you scrubbed in. The OR gallery was already jam packed with other doctors wanting to watch the incredible surgery. You held the tray as Steve pulled the nails out and set them in. The surgery took a few hours, which you were way too happy about.

“Do you see any bleeding, Dr. Wilson?” Steve asked.

“It’s clean,” Dr. Wilson responded. “Way to go, Cap.”

Steve laughed. “No, way to go team. Good job everybody. Thank you. I don’t think we made it worse. The big question is the optic nerve. But we’ll know in the morning.”

“Should I order the MRI?” You asked.

“He needs to stabilize.” Steve walked towards the OR door, tearing off his gown. “We’ll do it tomorrow.”

~~~

The next morning, you, Val, Clint, and Scott were all getting ready for your shifts. Scott and Val were in the bathroom. Val was brushing her teeth in her underwear while Scott was showering, again.

“I reminded you before you went!” Val shouted.

“I forgot when I got there,” Scott replied.

“No, no.” She threw open the shower curtain. “You were so passive-aggressive.”

“Naked!” Scoot covered himself. “I am naked in the shower!”

“They’re just tampons, Scott. I really needed tampons.” You and Clint entered the bathroom. “I’m not riding in the same car with him.”

You began looking through the cupboards. “If you're going like that, you're not riding with me… where are the tampons?”

“He didn’t buy them.”

“You didn’t buy them?!” You and Clint repeated.

“Oh, man.” Clint continued, running a hand down his face. “Way to make both our lives hell now.”

“Men don’t buy tampons!” Scott shouted.

“You know what?” Val got into Scott’s face. “You are gonna have to get over this whole man thing, Scott. We are women! We have vaginas! Get used to it!”

“I’ve got you, girls,” Clint said. “I’ll run to the store during lunch or, if that doesn’t work out, after our shift.”

“Thank you, Clint,” you said, pressing a kiss to his cheek. “You’re a life saver.”

“See, Scott!” Val exclaimed. “Real men buy tampons!”

~~~

After getting into scrubs, you made your way to George’s room. He was awake and talking. As you read through his chart, Steve joined you.

“Grilled cheese again?” He asked.

“Cold pizza,” you replied.

“You live a sad life,” Steve chuckled. “Is he awake?”

“Even better.”

“Really? Let’s see what his nurse says.” The two of you entered the room. “Hi, Sally, George. How are you this morning?”

“Tell them what color my dress is, George,” Sally encouraged with a smile.

“I’d know the answer to that even if I couldn’t see,” he responded. “It’s blue.”

“Can you tell me what you had for breakfast on Monday?” Steve asked.

“Cheese omelet. And on Sunday. And on Saturday. And on Friday. Sally gets up every morning and makes me a cheese omelet.”

“It’s the only thing he likes,” Sally said.

“It’s the only thing you know how to cook.”

Steve smiled as he wrote some things down in the chart. “Okay, well, things look good. But I am ordering an MRI for this morning to check for residual bleeding. Dr. L/N will take you down there right now.”

With a nod, you wheeled his bed down to the MRI. You got him set up before going behind the glass to wait with Steve.

“How do you think I’m doing?” Steve asked. You quirked a brow up at him. “With this whole professional thing? Is it working?”

“Not anymore,” you responded, looking at the screen. The scan began pulling up. “Look.” You pointed.

Steve turned to study it. “Damn. Yeah, right there.” Steve pointed to the scans. “That’s a tumor. It’s midline near the hypothalamus.”

“Shit.”

With a sigh, Steve explained the options to you before you two headed back to George’s room, to explain to him and Sally.

“Best practice, probably to remove the tumor,” Steve told the couple. “Probably because I can't get it all. 99%, but not all of it. Radiation and chemo, you're looking at maybe five to ten good years.”

“Let’s do it,” George quickly said.

“You haven't heard the downside. See, the tumor is located in a part of your brain where your memory and your personality resides. And because of the fuzzy edges of this type of tumor, I have to cut out a lot. George, you stand a good chance of losing your memories. Of losing who you are.”

“Is there any other way?” Sally asked.

“The alternative is gamma or cyberknife treatment with focus radiation. It's less evasive. There's little chance of memory loss or him losing himself but it would only give Jorge maybe three to five years.”

“Three to five years?”

“This is an incredibly difficult decision. If you have any more questions or you need to talk to me, I'm here, okay?”

They nodded and you and Steve took it as your queue to leave. It was hard decision that they needed to make. You don’t know if you’d let them cut into you at risk of your personality.

~~~

After taking care of some other patients, you found your way back to George’s room. Steve was just walking out of it.

“They want the surgery,” he told you.

“They want you to cut it out?” You clarified.

“Mm-hmm. It’s their decision.”

Steve left and you waiting outside George’s room until he was asleep.

“Sally?” You called, motioning her to meet you in the hall.

“Yes?” She replied, meeting you.

“Are you sure you want to go through with this?”

“Yes.”

“You need to consider what you'll lose. What good is five years if he doesn't joke about your omelets and he can't remember seeing you in that blue dress?”

“It’s still five more years.”

“You don’t understand. He’ll be there, but we won’t be George. He won’t even recognize you.”

“This is none of your business.”

“You have no idea what this will do to you. Isn't five good years better than ten bad ones?”

“Y/N, what the hell are you doing?” Steve questioned, coming back up to you.

“She needs to understand.”

“But I do understand,” Sally said. “You think that I'm being selfish, that I don't want to give him up.”

“I don’t.”

“This is George’s decision. And it that means ten bad years for me, fine. I'll give him those years because I will give him whatever he wants.”

“Look, I am so sorry, Sally,” Steve apologized. “Just please forgive her. She's an intern.”

“And if he doesn't remember me, if he doesn't remember what we are, he's still my George. And I'll remember for us both.”

“Okay, alright.” 

Steve guided Sally back into George’s room, shooting you a disappointed look. You watched as Steve spoke the couple through everything again, making sure to keep your distance from the room. When he was done, Steve came back out, shaking his head at you in disappointment.

“You crossed a line today,” he warned. “It’s not your place to talk to patients like that.”

“Understood,” you stated, stoically. “I’m sorry, Dr. Rogers. It won’t happen again.” 

As you walked away, Steve sighed, looking back at you. You went to the locker room, it was time for your shift to end any way. After you had changed and packed up your things, you turned to head out and saw Steve leaning in the doorway. He looked nervous, in his street clothes with his hands in his pockets.

“Look,” he started, “I’m sorry about—“

“Don’t apologize,” you interrupted. “I was out of line. Understood.”

Steve gave a nod. “Right. Well… uh… I came… well, I occasionally eat breakfast at this small place on Broadway. I was wondering if you’d join me in the morning?”

“Really, Steve? Don’t you understand that this is wrong?”

“It’s just a breakfast. Two friends meeting up for a meal.”

You sighed. “Where and what time?”

He grinned, straightening up. “The Broadway Cafe, let’s say 7?”

You headed through the door way. “I’ll think about it,” you said as you passed him. “Good night, Dr. Rogers.”

“Think about it?” He rushed after you. 

“Yes, I’ll think about it.” You stepped into the elevator, turning around to face him. Steve didn’t enter. “We’ll see in the morning.” 

Steve gave a small smile as he shook his head and the elevator doors closed.

“Shit,” he realized quietly. “Maybe Stark is right. I’m whipped.”

“Did I just hear you say that Tony’s right?” A strawberry blonde woman came up beside Steve. “Please don’t tell him that, he doesn’t need a bigger ego.”

“I definitely won’t, Pepper. He’ll never let me live it down.”

“No, he won’t.”

“But you should listen to him. Go out with him.”

“Are you serious?”

“Sadly, I am.”

Pepper clenched her jaw, studying Steve for a second. “Alright, I’ll give him a chance. How bad could it be, right?”

“How bad could what be?” Tony asked, coming up to the other two doctors. “Good evening, Rogers, Pepper. What are we talking about?”

“Oh none of your never mind,” Pepper responded. “I’ll see you both tomorrow.”

As Pepper left, Steve watched Tony watch Pepper walk away.

“I think we both might be screwed."

next chapter >

NOTES: from now on the taglist when be added by a reblog. I will reblog it using my second account, @just-dreaming-marvel-2​​. Just so that my main page doesn’t get too cluttered.

If you want to be added to the tag list, please dm me or send in an ask.

[nautiscarader]

My goodness, 1.5 weeks without my two 23 inch monitors, a mouse with six extra buttons and a normal keyboard, oh how I missed basic human necessities.

Yeah, my trip to the hospital was a wee bit longer than I expected.

The good news: I finally know what's wrong with me~!

The bad news: ...I finally know what's wrong with me.

And since this is personal, I will keep it under the cut, no need for you to read more if you don't want to feel bummed, and this is a serious thing, I will not judge you for skipping it.

For all intents and purposes, I am back.

Let's rip the bandage off: I have multiple sclerosis. Which is... bad. Basically my immune system is... kinda attacking my own nerve endings, from what I can understand. For the past few months I had problems walking, which I though was purely orthopaedic problem, as I had a small accident on my grocery trip. But my knees have healed while my walking... did not. So I had to go to the neurologist, he sent me to hospital and after LOOOOOOTS of tests, I was diagnosed with MS.

Actually, they still haven't sent me ALL the data yet, but they pumped me full of antibiotics and just sent me home to wait for next instructions.

I will have to get visits from a physiotherapist, I got a brand new roller for walking, and... there is chance that this bloody thing will spread to my optical nerve and hands.

So, that's... not good.

But you know what, fuck MS, I am not gonna give up.

Especially since I still have prompts to write, so I have you guys to keep me motivated.... In fact, I may open something just for you guys to make up for the lost time. Because I'm crazy.

And now some hilarious* highlights:

(*hilarity may vary)

When they admitted me, I was lying on a half-functioning third bed in a two-people room. One of the beds got free after a day, though. Four nurses tried to make that bed work, none of them could find the bloody remote to lower the headrest. As far as I'm aware that bed is till missing the remote to this day.

the mug they gave me for tea did not have a mug ear, so it was useless until I pointed that out. actually, they did nothing with it, I had to just just manually go to the kitchen and swap it when they weren't looking.

Oh and speaking of tea, it was dreadful, 0/10 in Uncle Iroh's scale. At the very least it was liquid.... most of the time.

in fact, they gave very little cutlery during dinners and breakfasts, I had to remind them that spoons are necessary to eat soups...

I ate hummus for the first time though! And it was okay.

one of my neighbours was lying there for a week already, waiting for his results, he got released a day before me (he had to had electric needles put in his tongue AUCH AUCH AUCH)

on the other hand, I had to have a lumbar puncture to... uh, get the fluid from my spine, which sounds painful, until you learn what happens afterwards: you have to lay motionless for 24 HOURS. no lifting your head or... it explodes, or something. SRSLY. The headaches are apparently horrible. Thank gods for my headphones and books. Try imagine peeing sideways though.

then came magnetic resonance (MRI), two of them, actually, each of them took an hour. They put you in a metal tube and the only way I can describe it is: imagine the entire concept of electrodynamics from the past two centuries or so BEING ANGRY AT YOU COS IT SCREAMS AND VIBRATES AND ROARS AND DOES PLINGS AND PLUNGS AT RANDOM MOMENTS AROUND YOUR HEAD. Again, for an hour. They give you earplugs which do not fucking work, I can tell you. Oh and you cannot move as well.

When I asked for a bit of washing powder so I can clean my dirty clothes ( I under-prepared myself, my fault), all the nurses thought that I asked them for a bloody golden egg. No cleaning solutions for patients in the entire hospital, had to use one of theirs spare pajamas. Also, no extra towels, I had to use extra pillowcases, which they had shittons of, and they work exactly as you might think.

Oh and speaking of shower cabins: they did not have a cabin for shower. They had shower, but... no way to.... shield it. the water just.... was in the bathroom and it would just flow into the drain. Which is kinda problematic if you have patients with walking problems, so they might, you know, slip and break neck. Like, I did not expect a glass fancy round doors, just three fucking walls and a bit of a curtain. That was in the previous hospital I was in, and it was in a way smaller town, so they figured it out!

oh and of course they had to probe me for covid just in case... like twice.

They had a vending machine! And it had snacks in it! In case you can't read between lines, I am happy about it!

Also, apparently I am high-functioning autistic person! No official diagnosis, but I had a lovely talk with a psychiatrist who I guess had to test all my cogs if they work, and she said it was apparently bloody obvious from my mannerisms. Entrapta is best pony.

So... I guess that's it.

I am kinda in limbo right now, cos I don't know all the details myself yet. I will try to keep you informed, but... you'd just have to get used to some more random visits in hospital from me from now on. So, sorry about that.

And I will be bringing my own bloody tea next time, though.

All I want to say is... thanks for putting up with me. And for all the messages you've send me. They really mean a world to me right now. Seriously.

....

Now have some cats!

[desertedcorridors]

Morning Person

I woke up at 7:14 again today. I’ve always wanted to become a morning person. Not the ones that wake up at dawn to go running or get a headstart on the workday, but the ones who wake just in time to lay there, that brief juncture in the almost-day when the light is golden and still innocent, pliable enough to mold, when the tendrils of sleep take their time loosening their hold. I like to think I can cut through this softness like butter, run my hands through it, pack it into a little cube and pocket some for night. Of course, I’ve never been a morning person. I wish I was. I never wake up in time. 

I can’t remember the exact moment I decided I couldn’t stand to sleep in my own room anymore. Springtime in Lahore means dusting off the ceiling fans in mid March. I had started sleeping horizontally on my bed so I could be directly under the cool air. When I woke up one morning I found that someone had filled my bones with cement and suspended me in a sunbeam. I’m not sure what made that particular day so defining. It wasn’t a new feeling, this heaviness in me weighing down my mattress. It wasn’t even an oh, there it is again feeling. When I think of the word constant I try to rack my brain for emotions, people, anything to remind myself that I am wanted, that I am anticipated. Nothing comes to mind. Nothing except the familiarity of my own expendability. When you have hollow bones it’s inevitable that someone will want to anchor you like a bird to a cage. I tired myself out a long time ago. I’ve never been one to fight back; it’s one of my mother’s favorite things about me. That morning I felt strange, like I was intruding on an intimate moment between the sun and the eggshell white of my walls, like I wasn’t meant to see the behind the scenes. I was acutely reminded of the feeling of walking into a room you don’t belong in, the heads of strangers swiveling around to look you up and down before returning to their business. I felt shame prickle through my scalp in a wave. My room aglow with the yellow filtering through my curtains, childlike and pure, my body a deadweight, supine and useless, lips cracking in the recycled air, I looked at the clock. 7:14. So this is it, I thought. This is what I’ve been waiting for. I wanted to go back to sleep with a desperation so intense it numbed my toes and curled my fingers. My room looked beautiful and alive and determined to set me on fire. I felt its smirk against my throat as it settled its weight on my chest and pressed me into the bed. I thought, leave it to me to turn beautiful things evil. That night, blanket and pillow in hand, I knocked on my mother’s door. 

The sun rises differently in my mother’s room. When it wakes me up at 7:14 again, it has the decency to look apologetic, remorseful. I decide to have mercy. Next to me my mother is folded into the cocoon of sleep. I tamp down my envy and inch closer. When she puts an arm around me and strokes my hair I fake my breathing. I tell myself I can cry later. The intimacy that lives confined in this hour of undiluted quiet is too pure for someone as polluted with guilt as I am.  I’m supposed to say something in this moment, I know I am. Sometimes I think I’ve spent my whole life trying to find the right thing to say. One day I’ll wake up and my lips will be gone, the top of my throat sealed shut. I’ll know I deserve it, I’ll know that only people with things to say deserve voices. I have nothing to say. With my face turned into the mattress I can almost convince myself I’m here simply because I was bored, not because my loneliness is a clawed hand around my ankle, not because I’ve made a villain of the sun and my room and time itself and fear is a wave cresting outside my window.  I can almost convince myself that my self loathing is contained in the room I’ve left behind. In this new room where the sun is more forgiving and my mother’s arm is a shield I cower behind, I can convince myself I’m safe. The ticking of the clock mocks me. 

I can feel the wave catching up to me.

Once, in a fit of desperate rage, I thought maybe I could outsmart time. That night I didn’t sleep till 5am, until my eyes were begging me for release. I thought surely this would mean I would sleep in until noon at least. When I woke up the next morning, wide awake and smug, the light was all wrong. It was too bright and the room was too humid. I looked at the clock. 7:14. I could feel the sun shake its head in pity, felt the clock narrow its eyes in annoyance. I conceded. As I lay there, limp and exhausted, I began listing all the adjectives I could think of to describe the light at 7:14. Soft. Supple. Ethereal. Tender. Tangible. Ephemeral. Blinding. Desolate. Lonely. Desperate. Gone. Desperate. Desperate. My head started hurting.

A couple years back when my migraines got really bad, I went in for an MRI. I remember the frustration I felt when the doctor said there was nothing wrong with me, the desperation of wanting her to stick a label on the issue and file it away as a problem solved. I wanted her to tell me what I already knew: that the migraines came from the same heaviness that pressed me into my bed every morning. I wanted her to stick her hands in her white coat and tell me not to worry, there’s a very simple solution to this, we’ll send you into emergency surgery and hollow your bones out again and then you’ll be as good as new. Instead she told me to take it easy and stay hydrated. On the way home the sun was white hot. I’ve always found it weird that when I have a good day, I go to bed with a headache. It’s important to note here that a headache is not a migraine. I never understood these headaches; maybe they came from laughing too hard, or smiling for too long. On these days I think my heart pumps blood differently, like it’s so relieved to find a reason to beat again that it works overtime to compensate for all the days I let it sit in my chest and harden. I like the idea of giving my poor heart a purpose, the way it trips over itself trying to butter me up. When I hold two fingers up to the side of my throat, my skin feels alien, the veins underneath pounding out a code of don’t let us forget this feeling again. I send back an apology in advance. I can’t remember the last time I got a headache.

Tonight my dinner congealed like wet sand on my gums. But it’s night, I thought, I’m supposed to be okay, at least for now. I dared to look at the clock. 7:14. Is nowhere safe? There was a time when I didn’t know how to read clocks. There was a time when I chided myself for never waking up before noon. I don’t know when I started being afraid of the sun. I don’t know how to stop. 

[mirkwoodshewolf]

My life, The Doctor; 10th Doctor x Nurse!reader

*Author’s note*

Hey guys I know it’s been awhile but I finally decided to work on another story outside the Queen/BoRhap fandom. Now this request came from @originalposter96 idk if this is your user name anymore but I hope you’ll be able to see it.

NOW WARNING HERE I AM NOT A DOCTOR OR A NURSE!!! So I know absolutely NOTHING about surgeries or anything like that, so this may seem as lazy writing (sorry) but I hope you all still enjoy this fic. So since this does involve the reader being a Nurse there is a hospital involved, surgeries, blood, removing bullets, gunshots, and a slight trigger warning for Domestic violence (not between the Doctor and reader just some side characters).

Taglist:

@plethora-of-things​

@waddles03​

@psychosupernatural​

@dancingcoolcat​

@jd-johndeacon-or-jackdaniels​

@ixchel-9275​

__________________________________________________________

There have been many wonderous places I’ve been to, many wonderful people and creatures I’ve met.  They all come and go in my life, whether through my adventures or by time itself all beings enter my life one way or another.  But throughout all my previous lives, every single being in the Universe that I had ever known, one person was above and beyond special.

Her name was (Y/n) (L/n).  And she—is and will always be the love of my life.

For a human she was extremely clever, sharp as a whip, but she was also kind, loyal, and the one thing about her is that she never gives up on anyone.  As a Head nurse—oh did I forget to mention that? Yes my (y/n) is one of the best Nurses in all of England.  

Anyone in her time or even in the future when she finally becomes an M.D. will tell you that she is one of the best.  In fact she finds out future cures for worldwide pandemics (of course sometimes her board would deny her research and billions of people perish. Rotten bastards).  Anyways, my (y/n) truly is one of a kind amongst the humans and I am glad to have met her.

And won’t she be surprised when she sees me.  It had been awhile since I had last seen her (maybe since the day she graduated medical school just a year ago her time) and now with the Cybermen and Daleks taken care of, now’s a good a time to go see her.

I set the coordinates for her time period and flipped the switch allowing the TARDIS to activate and soon going through time and space.

*My POV*

April 14th, 2015, 10:05pm.  It had been a long day.  5 surgeries, 3 MRI scans, a cancer treatment report, and 2 women in labor later, I was just about to drop right there on the floor.  I was thankful that in like 20min. my shift was gonna be over.

“You look like you’re about to drop dead right on the spot.” I snapped out of my sleepy stage to see my good friend Chrissie Lang.  She and I had graduated from the same Med school together, and had most of the same classes together.  She and I are each other’s support system cause in this line or work—it can take a toll on you.

I remember this one time this woman came in at 6 months pregnant bleeding profusely from her legs.  We both knew that she was suffering a miscarriage so we told to do what her Doctor told us to do, but by the end of it Chrissie was completely destroyed. She always wanted to be a mum and seeing something like that happen made her fearful for even trying to go for a baby with her and her boyfriend.

So for the next ten minutes after helping the woman out, Chrissie and I just held onto each other and shed our tears before we had to brush it off and move onto the next case we had.  For those that say being a Doctor or a Nurse is the easiest job to do, they’re liars. The job can hit you not just physically, but mentally as well.

“After 2 days of not sleeping, I just might. Put on my tombstone (Y/n) (l/n). Died with a heart of gold and a stomach of caffeine.”

“That’s true cause I swear girl, you’re probably the most caffeine addicted person I’ve ever met.”

“I can stop whenever I want, these are just choices.” We both chuckled softly.

“Excuse me ladies, but would you mind helping me with something?” a familiar voice said to me.  We both turned to our right and standing there with a bouquet of my favorite color of carnations was the Doctor.

“Of course, what can we do for you sir?” asked Chrissie.

“Hey Chris, why don’t you let me handle this?” I suggested.

“You sure?”

“Yeah, besides you’re about to clock out sooner than me, you go on and head home. I’ll meet you there.”

“Okay, see you later (n/n).” she bid the Doctor good evening and he did the same. Once Chrissie left the lobby, I turned towards the Doctor smiling widely as he did the same.

I immediately embraced him and he picked me up and twirled me around, the two of us laughing together.

“Oh I swear every time I come back, you get more beautiful.” He said as he set me down.

“I’m just happy you got to come back at all.” I said as I cupped his face in my hands. His eyes grew soft as he placed his hands over mine.

“I know what I do is dangerous, but you know why I do what I do.” I nodded in understandment.

“I mean hell it wouldn’t be any different if you were human and worked as a police officer or a fireman. Hell we humans live in a dangerous world, anything could kill us.”

“Which is what makes me the Doctor.”

“It does indeed.” I stroked his cheek with my thumb and that’s when he reached for the bouquet he had set down on the front desk and he presented it to me. “You always know just how to cheer me up.”

“Figured you might’ve had a long, rough day. Thought a little color could be used to brighten up your day.”

“It sure did, thank you my love.”

“Anything for you my life.”

That was a thing between us.  When we first started dating each other, we had a little code/nickname for each other. I call the Doctor ‘my love’ because ever since he literally dropped from the sky onto my doorstep, he’s unlike anyone I’ve ever met.

He’s quirky, bit of a goofball, can sometimes blow his top but that’s only when something really dangerous happens and he’s under stress (yeah I’ve traveled with him a couple of times during my time at Med school), but he’s also loyal, brave, beyond clever, and he always puts everyone else, especially the human race above himself.  For the last of his species, he’s an incredibly selfless person.

He calls me ‘his life’ because whenever things get too hard for him, since he and I have been through some rough stuff due to our day to day life, I always try my best to comfort him.  I know that he’s lost people, just like I have on a job, and it’s not an easy thing to get pass.

So we both try to be each other’s support system.  We know there is always loss in the world, but the thing is to not let that be the driving point that always controls your life.  You can use it to make you stronger, not let it drag you down any further.

“So how has my brave Dr. (L/n) been since I last saw her?”

“You know I’m not a Doctor yet, I still gotta go through the nursing program and then rise up in the ranks before I finally get it.”

“Oh rubbish, you should’ve been a Doctor right as you graduated.”

“Yeah well not according to the chief here.” I muttered annoyedly.

“Honestly though, that old fool wouldn’t know a good doctor if it turned around and bit him in the arse.” I shushed him but couldn’t help myself from giggling softly.

“You can be so cruel sometimes you know that?” he playfully shrugged.

“Only when it comes to people who hurt you.” he wrapped his arms around me and pecked my cheek. “How much longer till your shift ends?” I turned to the clock and responded.

“10 minutes. But…..I could clock out a little early since there hasn’t been a call.”

“Playing hooky ehh? You cheeky little minx.” He grinned like the Cheshire cat. As we leaned closer to each other about to kiss, the doors suddenly burst open and a frantic voice called out.

“HELP! HELP! MY BROTHER NEEDS HELP! HELP!” a blonde woman around her mid 30’s came in holding her brother who looked to be around the same age as her.  Quite possible they might’ve been twins cause I could see some similarities on the both of them.  Her brother was completely covered in blood and his lips were blue from blood loss.

“Okay Miss calm down. I NEED A STRECHER STAT!!” soon enough the nurses who were still here for the nightshift ran off as I walked towards the two siblings. “What happened?”

“My ex-boyfriend jumped us. He thought—he thought my brother was a new boyfriend of mine and he—he—oh god this is my f-fault!”

“No, no, no Miss this is not your fault.” As I tried to calm her down, the stretcher bed soon came in and a group of nurses helped the man on his back and began cutting away his shirt.

“I’m seeing 3 bullet wounds to the chest and one on his abdomen. Let’s move him!” I get onto the top right of him as we wheel him into the OR to save his life while another nurse stayed behind with the sister to calm her down.

I washed my hands and arms frantically and thoroughly before getting my shrubs and mask on.  Already the destine nurses, assistants and now our head Doctor, Dr. Murphy came in and he said.

“What have we got?”

“Four shots in the upper body, two in the lower. He might’ve lost a pint of blood at least.” Answered Nurse Yasmin.

“Maybe 2-3. His BP is dropping fast.” Added one of the male Nurses, Derek.

“Okay, any of those bullets rupture an organ?” asked Dr. Murphy.

“The one in his lower abdomen is just a centimeter before hitting his small intestine. If we don’t get that bullet out first he could bleed out internally.”

“Okay keep an eye on his BP. I need fluids, scalpels, suction tubs, retractors……”

“Lucy….”the man groaned out.

“(L/n), do your thing.” Said Dr. Murphy.  I nodded and came up to the man and said.

“Sir? Sir can you hear me?”

“Yes. Where—where am I?”

“You’re at the hospital. Your sister brought you in. Don’t worry she’s okay and told us what happened.”

“Good….good……She’s safe. I—I’d never forgive myself if—” he started fading out.

“Hey, hey, hey sir, sir stay with me now. What’s your name? Can you tell me your name?”

“Barry.”

“Okay Barry, I’m (Y/n) (l/n). My team and I are gonna help you but you need to stay with me for just a bit. Don’t give up on me.”

“It hurts….it hurts so badly.”

“I know, I know.”

“Give him a shot of morphine to numb the pain.” Dr. Murphy ordered.  Suzie got the morphine bag and needle ready and slowly stuck the needle into his left arm.  Barry hissed and I said to him.

“This’ll help lessen the pain. You won’t feel the pain as we try to get the bullets out of you Barry. But you gotta stay with me, okay?”

“I’ll—try……” he mumbled tiredly.  I placed my hand on his cheek and looked up at his vitals and saw his BP was continuing to drop and his heartbeat was going down.

As I looked around me, frantically Dr. Murphy and all the nurses were working together trying to get all the bullets out of him one by one, less we risk him bleeding out as two teams tried to work out a single bullet.  With the main one near his intestines cleared, Dr. Murphy and Nurse Helen worked on getting the few out of his upper chest.

All the while Barry kept groaning every now and then and his eyes were fading fast.

“Barry. Barry hey look at me boy. If you can’t do this for yourself, do it for your sister. From what she said about who had done this to you, you need to stay alive for her. What you did was heroic, but don’t let her see that that selfish son of a bitch won. She needs you, your family needs you.”

“I got the blood transfusion he now needs. Thankfully, we had our last bag of B+ in the storage bin.” A young male nurse who had only worked here for a year, Cody exclaimed as he came through the doors.

“Alright, start the transfusion now! We just got the last bullet out and his BP is dropping faster and faster!”

“You hear me Barry? We’re getting you your life back. But it’s gonna be up to you now. Don’t let him be the victor, not tonight! You hear me?” he groaned and looked right up at me and he whispered groggily to me.

“Why do you care so much?” I took a deep breath in and said as I stroked the hair from his face.

“Because so many people everywhere are already dying every day. Some because time has run out on them, others for serving their country, but there are the odds of people dying for now reason whatsoever. Or for stupid reasons that shouldn’t be a reason why someone should have to die, especially if it’s protecting their family member from some arsehole who can’t tell the meaning of the word No. Now your sister is out there waiting for you, if she loses you, she’ll have lost her Ace. Her only friend that has stuck by her through whatever it was that her ex-boyfriend did to her.”

“He…..always was a……selfish prick!” he coughed out.

“I’ll bet he was. But she survived him, and now you’ve got to survive too. Don’t give him that satisfaction that he took a life tonight. Can you do that for me?” he nodded softly and whispered out again.

“You’d make a great motivational speaker.”

“I was on the debate team back in secondary school. If you wanna hear more, you’ll just have to stick around Earth for a little while longer.” After his final stitches were in place, the blood transfusion began and it was then Dr. Murphy had Cody, Darren, and Helen wheel him into ICU.  From there, Barry would be monitored 24/7 till he woke up from his post-surgery coma.

Dr. Murphy took off his mask and gloves before turning to me and he said to me.

“Nice job keeping him talking.”

“Just doing my job sir.”

*Doctor’s POV*

Unaware to anyone else, I had snuck into the upper levels to witness the surgery in progress.  I watched as (y/n) stayed right by the young man’s side and kept giving him encouragement to stay alive.  But not for himself, for his sister.

This. Is why she would one day go down in the medical books as the world’s greatest Female doctor’s.  She always put the lives of the people her patient’s love over their own, then psychologically, the patient’s bodies would continue to fight on until finally they would find the strength to recover.

Of course she will have her failures cause that’s life.  You can’t save everyone but you can work harder at saving the ones you can save in the future.  She doesn’t let one failure get her down, that’s sometimes the curse of being a Doctor. When you lose people, it can really affect you. Even when those closest to you are the ones you lose.  Believe me I’ve been there millions of times throughout my 10 life cycles (she’s lucky she’ll only deal with one).

By morning, the lad Barry managed to make a full recovery.  His sister, Lucy repeatedly thanked all the doctors and nurses who helped out with saving her brother before giving her statement to the police.

I waited outside by the TARDIS for my beloved Doctor to clock out, and when she finally came out the poor dear looked exhausted.  I extended my arms out for her and she gave me a tired smile before collapsing into my arms.

“Just when I thought I could get at least one early night in.” her voice muffled against my trench coat but I still managed to hear her.  I softly laughed and rocked her gently as I assured her.

“I know, but hey if you hadn’t been here, that young man would’ve died.”

“Oh you know it was Dr. Murphy as well as a few other nurses that actually did the real operation to save him.”

“True, but you were just as important if not more. You kept him awake and talking.” I shrugged tiredly agree-to-disagreeing. “Now then, I think after a night like that, and from lack of sleep these past couple of days you deserve to be pampered and see the wonders of the galaxy.”

“How did you—”

“Besides the bags under your eyes, I’ve seen the amount of Starbucks cups at your apartment.” She groaned embarrassingly.  God this girl and her coffee addiction, truthfully I never understood why humans choose that as their beverage of choice.  I myself prefer a good Earl grey or even sometimes Jasmine tea but ugh that horrible bland stuff they call coffee?! Never. Again. Will that drink touch my taste buds.

“Care to show me the wonders of time and space?”

“Need a pick me up boost?” she nodded.  I kicked open the doors of the TARDIS and hopped inside before extending my hand out to her saying, “First question is though; do you trust me?”

“Always my love.” She replied with that loving soft smile of hers as she took my hand.

“Then brace yourself my life, because I’m going to show you the sound of the Universe.”

“You mean…..”

“Indeed I do my love, the Music of the Spheres.” Her smile grew wider and I pulled her into the TARDIS before shutting the doors behind her and together the two of us ran towards the consoles of the TARDIS and I punched in the coordinates and soon we took off for the Music of the Spheres.

And who knows where our next adventure would lead after that? So long as I got my love, my life, my Doctor with me by my side.

[amelink66world]

Love of my Life

Heyyy guys!! Checks out the new chapter! Kinda steamy ;)

Patience...or not?

It's been exactly 2 weeks since their date. They had gone on four more dates each one ending just like the first one, though the feeling of need only intensified with the next. Even the slightest touch ignited a fire inside them.

This going slow thing is too much!! I can't bear it anymore. I have to talk to her! I mean, she's killing me here. Ughh but I need to wait. This is what she wants and I can do anything for her. Sooo, suck it up, Atticus Lincoln. He groaned thinking why in the world did he agree to take things slow when he knew it would be too hard to control himself in her presence, especially when she looked sooo sexy all the time! It's like she was doing it on purpose!!! He walked towards the coffee cart, waiting for Amelia as usual. He chuckled, she's always late.

Meredith and Maggie tried their level best to mind their own business but Amelia was making it really very hard. This whole past week, she was in a pretty bad mood. You could hear her soft groans and grunts from time to time. Some head banging on the table was involved too. One time, Meredith had to cover Bailey's ear when his dearest Aunty Amelia came down the stairs cursing. Of course, she hadn't noticed the child in the living room before muttering those horrendous words not suitable for a child to hear.

Maggie probed and prodded her occasionally but she just wouldn't budge. Meredith finally snapped. "WHAT?!" They were carpooling to the hospital, as usual. Amelia looked up from her usual seat at the back, astonished. She was continuously sighing which annoyed the crap out of Meredith. Amelia asked, " What? What did I do? "

" Obviously something's bothering you, Amelia. We can't see you like this anymore. What is it? Just spit it out now! ," Meredith said indignantly.

" It's nothing," she muttered.

Maggie sighed. Curiosity was turning into exasperation. " You know, you can talk to us, right? We're here for you," she smiled. Amelia returned her smile and told her genuinely, " I'm just not ready to tell y'all about it. I'll tell you two at the right time. Don't worry about me." Meredith seemed convinced with her answer too and nodded before continuing driving.

SHIT! I'm late again. Link must be waiting for me. Ugghh, she groans way too loudly. Amelia rushed to the attendings' lounge and quickly changed into her scrubs. She hurried towards the coffee cart and could not spot Link anywhere. He didn't wait for me?! Oh yeah right,who am I kidding? I'm 20 minutes late! He can't wait for me forever. He has patients to see, Amelia thought sadly. Dejectedly she stood in line which was moving way too slow adding to her frustration.

What she didn't know was that Link had noticed her almost dashing towards the coffee cart and wanted to tease her a little bit. He just moved a few steps back and his behind a tree until she got in the line. This was his favourite pastime now, to rile Amelia up so much that she would be forced to break that "going slow" deal and crack under the pressure. He would always pull away just in the nick of time before things got too far, making her mad. He just loved it when she got mad. Her cheeks flushed deep red and her eyes burned with such fire and desire when she got angry that he had a hard time keeping himself in check. Obviously what he was trying to do had consequences too. He always had to adjust his clothing to get rid of the sudden tightness he felt after such nuances.

Amelia suddenly felt the oh so familiar fingers sliding up her arm and her back being pressed to a sturdy chest. " You like to make me wait, don't you?", he breathed in her ear. The obvious innuendo was not lost on her. She shivered. Okay. That's enough! Do I really need to hold on for soooo long?! I'll jump him RIGHT NOW! Uggghhh...but he turned it into a competition now. No backing out now, Amelia Shepherd.

Link very well knew what effect he had on her. He wanted her to know the ridiculousness of the deal. Deciding to play dirty, he started peppering her exposed neck with feather light kisses driving her mad. They were in the middle of the park, for crying out loud!! Amelia clutched his arms wrapped around her waist for support. She was trying so hard not to moan that it seemed to physically hurt her. Her nails dug into his skin but he didn't seem to mind. Finally satisfied with his work, he pulled back before softly kissing her cheek from her behind.

Breathless, Amelia opened her eyes and smiled at his goofy face. She then mock glared at him and whispered fiercely, " You'll pay for this, mister."

His face gleamed with a dazzling smile, "Oh, that's the whole plan all along. I'll definitely wait for it." He winked at her. She blushed deep red and hit his arm. Both of them laughed. They engaged in a deep conversation about their surgeries for the day and planned to watch movies together after their shifts.

As usual, Link ordered her coffee and paid. Amelia didn't even bother to protest, he just never listened.

Their hands were constantly bumping while walking towards the hospital. Neither of them noticed who held whose hand first. It just kept happening again and again. It became like a routine. Meeting each other first thing in the morning after reaching the hospital, walking back together, having lunch in the cafeteria, making out in the on-call room for several moments between surgeries and then occasionally him dropping her off to Mer's place after their shifts. This became like a routine. THEIR routine.

The elevator was partly empty by the time they entered. They were standing next to each other with his hand on her back when suddenly a large group of people entered the elevator together. It had suddenly become very crowded. To shield Amelia from the occasional bumping, he pulled her behind him at the back of the elevator and stood stoically in front of her. She stared at him with adoration for several long moments. She was utterly grateful for this man in her life. He is so damn thoughtful! I've never had someone thinking so selflessly about me. God, I love him.

Link always wanted to protect her from everything in the world. He had decided he would always be her shield and keep her away from ever getting hurt. She could always lean on him and find him in her corner. He was pulled out of his thoughts when he felt her soft fingers gently wrapped around his waist from behind and she hugged him. Link felt his heart burst with emotion and a gleeful smile framed his face. He slightly leaned back to reciprocate the hug and caressed her fingers with one hand.

They were locked into a tight embrace till the elevator cleared out and they reached the Neuro floor. Link pulled her from behind him and towards his body. He kissed her deeply before whispering, "Have a great day." Amelia sighed with delight and kissed his cheek before pulling back. "You too!" She then playfully ordered after getting out, "Miss mee!!" She heard his laughter as the doors closed. She was highly enjoying the hospital nowadays.

Four hours and two craniotomies later, Amelia was starving. She missed Link terribly and had texted him immediately after her surgery but there was no reply. Maybe he's in surgery. Pcchhhh. She wanted to meet Link. She loved having him around. She loved their conversations, their silences, their routine. She was content and didn't want to lose all of this. She knew it was too soon to feel like this, yet she had never felt like this in her entire life! This was not irrational and impulsive Tumor Amelia. This was new. Wait, love? Is it really love? It's too soon. Nope.

She went to the cafeteria and suddenly found her eyes wandering aimlessly. Where IS everybody?! Suddenly quite surprisingly there was no one in this freaking hospital for her to talk to. There was always someone. ALWAYS. People never seemed to mind their own business here. Everyone knew about everyone and everything. Privacy actually is a thing of the past here. Groaning she grabbed a cookie and went to the pit to look for some interesting. A surgery always helps, doesn't it?

Going to the pit proved to be fruitful. Well not like thaaat, if you know what I mean. Not that I want people to have injuries. Her patient needed an ortho consult stat before going into surgery. Luckily, Nico took over for him in the OR and he came for the consult. Amelia was really glad.

Accustomed with Link's plan of action, she had already ordered an MRI. She was trying to read the scans in the room when Link suddenly brushed past her moving to the screen just next to hers. Obviously, it was intentional. Amelia hid her smile and acted nonchalant. In reality, her skin was tingling where his skin brushed hers. A devious plan popped up in her head and she smirked. No one messed with Amelia Shepherd.

Acting serious, she deliberately brushed past his body and moved to his left. Link worked an eyebrow and looked down at where her skin touched his. He shrugged and concentrated on the scans. This happened again. And again. He smirked and tilted his head towards her. " What are you doing, Amelia? Is this your weird version of Tit for Tat, huh?," he asked with amusement.

Amelia feigned offence, " Hey! First of all, it's not weird. Second, what are you talking about?," she asked with innocence and blinked. He just squinted his eyes accusingly and looked down at her, trying to break her facade but she just shrugged and moved. AGAIN. This time, the scan Link was looking at suddenly interested her too much.

Unabashedly she moved to stand right in front of him and leaned back slightly. Link's breath hitched and his hand involuntarily moved towards her. But he stopped them just in time. He wanted to see how far she'd go even if that meant taking a very cold shower in the lounge afterwards. He could practically see her smirk from the back of her head! Oh this woman will be the death of me! She knows what she does to me. Everytime. He held in a breath.

Feigning interest in the upper part of the scan, she stood her tip toes and leaned back furthermore to trace her finger on the scan. This movement pushed her ass right into his groin. Notwithstanding any of this anymore, Link groaned and grabbed her waist tightly. He pulled her body snug towards him and breathed down her neck. " Well played, Amelia," he whispered seductively. Before he could start kissing down her neck, Amelia rotated her hips once before turning in his arms. She wrapped her arms around his neck, pushing her body towards him which he gladly accepted. She kissed along his jaw and moved to his neck before brushing her lips with his.

Wanting to dominate the kiss, Link deepened the kiss and softly bit her bottom lip. Several moments later, she pulled back and moved towards his neck. Her kisses ignited a fire inside his body and he pulled her towards him even more. His fingers played with the hem of her top. She slided her fingers to his hair and gently tugging his hair. He groaned and moved his hand inside her top. She sighed loudly and bit his earlobe before seductively whispering, "The ball was always in my court, mister." She tugged his hair once last time before completely pulling back, leaving him shocked and equally frustrated.

She was grinning triumphantly whilst adjusting her top, all the while maintaining eye contact with him. Link groaned in frustration, " Ameliaaaaa...nooo. You cannot do this to meee! ", he whined. Amelia only laughed and blew a kiss at him while moving towards the door. " Tit for Tat, baby. I...have surgery. And you obviously need to take care of...that," she pointed towards his lower half. Link looked down horrified and completely missed her disappearing in the hallway.

Her laugh echoed making him laugh at her feistiness. God, I love that woman. I promise, one day I'll marry her. This was what he totally loved about her, she never backed down from a challenge. He shook his head at her antics with a loving smile on his face and stared at the door for few long seconds and moved to look at the scans, all the while adjusting his pants which was almost impossible in the condition she left him in.

Amelia's surgery finished early and she decided to wait for Link. She had texted Link. She even texted Meredith informing her that she would arrive home late. Upon receiving double question marks from her, she texted her that she would explain later. Maggie was the only person apart from Jo who knew about them. People were getting to know about them but the word hadn't spread much. For that she was grateful. All of the hospital gossip was now directed towards Jackson which she did not mind. That's the least he can go through for dumping my sister the way that he did, she puffed her cheeks and rolled her eyes.

In the attendings' lounge, about twenty minutes later, Link came running. She looked up from her instagram and chuckled at his disheveled appearance, " I will never get how you can run so much." She shook her head. Link laughed and leaned close to her face, whispering hoarsely, " Got to keep myself in shape," he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. Amelia stopped chucking and looked deep into his eyes.

Link pulled back and removed his scrub too right in front of her face, his torso directly in her immediate lone of vision. Amelia's eyes darkened at the sight and she gulped. She suddenly found herself drooling and wanted so badly to touch those damn sexy abs. Her eyes patiently roamed his bare figure before meeting his eyes. He was enjoying it thoroughly. He was observing her face the whole time and smirked proudly. Her hungry, dark orbs met his playful, blue ones. They stared at each other for several long moments. His smirk grew even more and he flexed his pecks once before breaking eye contact and moving towards his cubby.

Amelia gulped and tried to calm her nerves. When did it get so hot in here?! She wanted to fan her face at the sight of his bare back but caught ahold of herself. She was ogling him shamelessly and she was painfully cognizant that he was aware of this fact. But she didn't care. That man is beautiful! It would be a shame not to stare at such a gorgeously sculpted man. But only I can stare! No one else. And why is he taking so long to change?!

" What?!," she shouted pointedly. She looked at him accusingly. Link turned around with pure innocence, " What?," he blinked like a child.

" Do it fast !"

" Do what fast?," he prompted feigning confusion. But he could not trick her.

" We're getting late. Change faster, Link!," she was getting really aroused and could not trust herself any longer. She even pointed her finger at him for extra measure. Link hid his smile and raised his arms in surrender. Suddenly he possessed the speed of lightning and was ready to leave in no time. He smirked and shrugged proudly.

Amelia shook her head and rolled her eyes at his petulance, " Couldn't you have done that sooner? " Link only laughed in response and took her hand in his.

They silently left the hospital and drove in Link's car. They were each telling how their day was when he pulled the car to a movie rental store. It was already late so they figured that they would rent a movie and watch at his place with pizza and popcorn. Each selected a movie of their choice, Amelia a rom-com and Link a superhero movie. Both of them laughed at the cliche an proceeded to get the pizza.

Amelia had spent the night at his place before so she already had extra clothes there. Link changed into his boxers and a loose tshirt while Amelia was in the washroom, freshening up. He laid put her pajamas on the bed before going to the kitchen to warm the pizza. He even prepared the popcorn and proceeded to keep the food on the on the sofa. He got comfortable by the time she arrived. He turned his head in her direction and felt the wind knocked out of his chest.

She had never looked sexier to him. She was wearing nothing but his old Mariners tshirt which was triple her size and hanged loosely on her body. It didn't even reach mid-thigh !! Her long, slim legs were completely bare and he had a hard time trying to concentrate on something other than her legs. Amelia dressed in his clothes made her ten times sexier. God, this woman surprises me every time! How does she expect me hold back when she's dressed like that?! Ugghh, Ameliaaaa. He silently groaned when she nonchalantly sat close to him and stretched her legs on the table in front. His eyes just could not leave her legs!

She snatched the remote from his lap and showed him a 'V' sign. She grinned and played her movie. Link stared at her, mesmerised. How can a person be so beautiful, both in and out?! She is the cutest human being on the planet. Wanting to feel her close to him, he pulled her close. He wrapped arm around her and she laid her head comfortably on his shoulder. They had their pizza while watching the movie. Well, Amelia watched the movie whereas Link watched her. He admired her completely and placed an impromptu kiss on her head.

Suddenly he reached into the pizza box only to find that one slice was left. Amelia had reached for a slice at the same time and their hands bumped. Both of them looked at each other with determination willing the other to back out. Amelia was quick to react though. She snatched the box and took off running. Link was both amused and determined to win at the same time. He followed her in the whole apartment and their laughter could be heard from a mile away.

Link was amazed. For such a petite person, she sure could run very fast. Her lack of clothing did not help his case either. His arousal was increasing by the minute. He followed her into the kitchen and it was now his turn to think quicker. He successfully trapped her between the kitchen counter and his body. Amelia tried to wiggle away but her efforts went in vain. He squinted his eyes and mock threatened her, " Give me the box, Amelia."

Defiance ran in her veins. " Nope. The slice is mine." She moved to open the box but before she could do that, Link pinned her hand behind her. The atmosphere in the room rapidly changed. Suddenly highly aware of their proximity, Amelia looked into his eyes only to find them dark with desire. Amelia wanted to melt at the hungry look he was giving her. I just don't want to wait anymore!

Link pushed himself closer to her to gauge her reaction. But she was visibly panting thereby encouraging him. He pried the pizza box from her hand and place it behind her on the counter, never once breaking the eye contact. His eyes fluttered closed and he inched his face closer but when he was only centimeters away from her lips, she whispered, " Link..."

Thinking she's asking him to stop so that they could take things slow, Link pulled back slightly but didn't remove his hands from her body. He desperately whined, " Please don't ask me to stop, Amelia. Screw 'taking this slow'. I don't want to take things slow with you, Amelia. I'm all in. Do you hear me? All in. And I really, really like you. So let's just please forget about that. I really wanna feel you close to me. It's been too long, Amelia and I miss you! Also, how do you even expect me control myself while you waltz in the room wearing nothing but MY tshirt looking so damn sexy that I couldn't remove my eyes from you! You're killing me here, woman," he groaned.

Amelia stopped his rant by putting a finger to his lips. She then cupped his cheeks and made him look into her eyes. She smiled widely at him and whispered seductively, " Shut up, Link and just kiss me already! " Link looked at her with astonishment before grinning mischievously and picking her up in his arms. He placed her on the counter. He pried her legs open and stood between them.

The tshirt rode way up exposing her creamy thighs. Link ran his hands up her thighs and groaned, " God, you're sooo sexy, Amelia." She moaned and pulled him in by his tshirt for a bruising kiss. It had been too long. There was no stopping them now.

Their tongues were battling for dominance. Link wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled body close to his. Amelia played with the hem of his tshirt and pulled it above his head, momentarily breaking the kiss. Link used this opportunity to his advantage and completely dominated the kiss this time. He was hungrily kissing, biting, nipping and licking her lips. Amelia desperately groaned and held onto his shoulders with dear life. That kiss was single handedly capable of making her cum!

He moved down to her neck and pulled his tshirt down to fully expose her left shoulder. Amelia tilted her head to give him more access which he gladly accepted. He slid her right hand up her body and grabbed her breast. She moaned loudly and tugged his hair with her fingers. She bucked her hips forward in desperate need of friction. He was palming her breast through the tshirt. She wrapped her legs around his waist and pulled him even more towards her.

He pulled back slightly only to remove her, rather, his tshirt from her body. He blatantly stared at her, taking her in, mesmerized. She was not wearing a bra underneath!! She definitely wanted to kill me tonight! She had given him enough time to start at her body and couldn't wait any longer. She pulled him down and kissed him fiercely. She ran her hand down his torso along his strong abs. Oh, I wanted to touch them for soooo long! Wanting to completely devour her, he picked her up. She wrapped her legs around his waist whilst he carried her towards the bedroom, never once breaking the kiss.

He sat on the edge of the bed with her sitting on his lap. He squeezed her cheeks pulling her further towards him. Both of them groaned. Amelia pushed him down on the bed and straddled him. She leaned down to whisper in his ear, " No more of this 'taking things slow' crap. I'm all in, too. And just by the way... I like you a lot too, Atticus Lincoln." She grinned down at him. Her words pulled at his heart strings and he quickly changed their positions. He pinned her arms above her head and smirked down at her, "That's good, Amelia Shepherd. That's the nicest thing I've ever heard," before diving in.

Author's Note:

Heyyy guysss!!! Sorry for being AWOL for soooo long. I don't even know what came over me when I took such a long break. Huuhh, writing again is so refreshing! I missed all of my readers!

This is a brand new chapter for you. I hope you really, really it ;))) Again, I apologize for the delay in updating this story. ( please don't hit me, guys 😅🙈 )

Anyway, don't forget to vote and do drop some comments! I just looovee reading your comments. They encourage me so freaking much! Thank you guys for all the love!❤ I surely don't deserve so much. Next chapter will be up in a few days. Until then.

[allforhader]

Little Bundle of Joy

Aaron Conners x (F) Reader

Warnings: Langauge

“Aaron. I’ve told you countless times. You’re an orthopedic surgeon”

“And you’re an trauma surgeon!”

“I know more than you!”

“Y/N—I went through years of residency just like you”

“Okay, well I’ve had more experience with pregnant patients”

“Fair enough” Aaron states flipping through another pregnancy book thinking it’ll give him the answers instead of his well informed pregnant wife.

“You’re going to stress yourself out reading one of those. Trust me Aaron” Y/N laughs continuing to rub circles on her belly. “It’s best to listen to me and or my OB”

“So—“

“That doesn’t mean you can call her whenever though. Seriously Aaron just sit down please” She pats the empty spot on the couch so he can relax.

“I’m sorry, the due date is soon and I’m just anxious. Excited to see our little girl but still.” He says as he sits down beside Y/N turning himself toward her resting his hand on her belly.

“Anxious for me or anxious about the baby?”

“Y/N as much as I am a doctor. Some things I still faint at the sight of”

“Aaron I won’t forgive you if you pass out in the delivery room”

“Wait. What?”

“I’m kidding. It’ll be funny but Y’know. I’m going to need you” Y/N smiles adjusting herself so she’d be comfortable leaning up against him.

“You know I’ll be by your side through it all. I’ll try not to pass out” Aaron laughs a bit kissing the top of her head.

“Good” She continues to smile before getting up off the couch. “I’m gonna go to work”

“Wait. Why? You’re on leave”

“Yeah but when my department doesn’t tell me who my replacement is while I’m out. I’m gonna go find out myself” Y/N states as she grabs her coat form the rack looking down for a moment. “I can’t tie my shoes”

“I will if you let me go with you”

“Then hurry up and get that fine ass over here” Y/N watches Aaron get up and before he knelt down she snuck a kiss from him making him smile. “I bet you it’s Mulligan”

“You said you hated him” Aaron comments as he starts to tie her shoes. Y/N takes out her phone for a second checking something while Aaron got up putting her coat on. “He was an ass when we met”

“You did compare loss to a complication in a knee replacement to him”

“Well. It was a terrible complication”

“We know babe” Y/N smiles rubbing his arm before going to grab something from their bedroom.

Aaron watches Y/N come back out with their hospital bag. He looks at her confused as she’s mainly bringing it just in case.

Once the two arrived, Y/N walks into the nurses station getting greeted by the few that love her. Aaron leaned against the counter as Mulligan walks over to the station in the ER giving Y/N a look.

“What are you doing here?”

“So you’re my replacement?”

“Is that really what...she came here for?” Mulligan looks at Aaron as he shrugs for the most part. “Well. If you don’t mind. Dr. Conners Id love a consult”

“Which one?” The two said in unison as Mulligan was about to yell at Y/N when she did it just to fuck with him. She goes by her last name when it comes to work.

“I’ll take you to the patient. Juniper can you make sure Mrs. Conners doesn’t work on her leave” Mulligan smirks.

“I may be pregnant but I can still kick your ass”

“I’d like to see you try” Mulligan laughs before leading Aaron to his patient in trauma two.

“Really taking me away form my wife?”

“It’s only to read the MRI to determine artifact. Because my residents can’t tell and frankly. I can’t either” Mulligan states to Aaron as he looks back to see Y/N talking with the nurses. At least she’s safe with them if anything.

Aaron looked over the scans as Mulligan made sure his residents weren’t messing up. He was about to tell him that it was just artifact when the intercoms buzzed.

“Paging Dr. Aaron Conners to L&D”

Mulligan gave Aaron an excited look as he was terrified. He laughs to himself before patting him on the back.

“Wait till you have three. Then it’ll drive you crazy. Now go” Mulligan carefully pushes Aaron out of the trauma room as he quickly makes his way to the L&D.

Aaron was lead to Y/N’s room once he made it onto the floor. He grew anxious thinking he missed it when he walked in, but Y/N was still very pregnant instantly looking over to him once he walked in.

“I’m so glad I didn’t miss it...”

“You’d be dead by my hand if you did Aaron” Y/N laughs while adjusting herself to get comfortable.

“Why did it just...suddenly happen?”

“That I can’t answer. But I was counting my contractions since this morning”

“THIS MORNING?! Y/N! What the hell?!”

“What? They were Braxton Hicks in the morning and I didn’t think they’d be any worse until. Well we came here”

“Was this the whole point of coming here?”

“Yes sir. Mulligan is a bitch but I trust him with my department. Didn’t think he’d take you for a consult and then they got worse. So the nurses took me” Y/N says calmly as Aaron took one of her hands into his seeing her give him a smile.

“Okay. Now what?”

“What? Can’t smile at my loving husband?”

“You’re not taking any pain meds are you?”

“Nope” Y/N smiles. “You don’t have to worry though. It’s not hurting—“ she squeezed his hand while holding her belly with the other. Aaron didn’t care if he was in pain even if his expression was shocked for a second. “Ha...spoke too soon”

“Jesus. You have a fucking grip”

“Ha! You would know” Y/N laughs jolting a bit on the next contraction. “Fuck. Can...you get the OB?”

“Yeah. Yeah” Aaron tried to pull his hand away but she held onto him. He wasn’t going anywhere and he was sure of it. “Just. Here” he presses her nurse’s button as a nurse instantly comes in going to check the dilation before quickly getting her OB without questioning.

Sixteen hours...sixteen hours of a painful labor. Y/N relaxes in her hospital bed smiling at their little girl in her arms.

“You are so worth all those months...” Y/N smiles caressing her little cheek as Aaron rests his hand on her head retracting when she yawned. “Oh Aaron she may be fragile but not that fragile. Come on” she handed their little one to Aaron as he hasn’t stopped crying since she came into the world.

Aaron smiles at their little girl holding her close. “I love you...god I love you already Emma” he wiped away his tears for a moment before supporting her again with both arms.

Y/N was discharged three days later and after the first few weeks of Emma being home, that’s when the difficult nights arose.

During the night Y/N shifted in their bed waking her up a bit. She heard something but it didn’t sound like Emma. She reached over not feeling Aaron in the bed with her, making her jump out of bed thinking something happened but instead she found Aaron holding a sleeping Emma in his arms on the couch as he watches a pre-recorded basketball game.

“Already corrupting her with sports?”

“She wouldn’t fall back asleep” Aaron yawns as Y/N pulls the blanket off the back of the couch before sitting beside him and covering them both. “So I turned on the game and I’m kinda just sitting here until she falls asleep”

“Hun. She’s been asleep, you’ve just been too tired to notice” Y/N laughs a bit taking Emma into her arms as Aaron looks at the two confused before adjusting on the couch to lean against Y/N. “You really going to fall asleep on me instead of joining me in the bed?”

Aaron didn’t answer as he already fallen asleep that fast. Y/N smiles rolling her eyes before kissing the top of his head and looking at both her sleeping babes.

“You two are adorable...”

[cherry3point14]

Stranger Than Fanfiction: Ch 6

Series Masterlist

Pairing: Dean x Reader   Warnings: Not much except for the dangers for staying up all night. And Meta. Word count: 1,900. Chapter Summary: Fanfiction is not your friend. A/N: I am very sorry but like all my writing we are in that awkward middle where we have to hang on for dear life and hope the writing improves by the end.

Ao3 if you prefer

You hadn’t gone looking for it, the story. Your new online friend sent you a link. Innocently. Casually. Like she wasn’t going to absolutely, swiftly, and utterly change everything.

It was only supposed to be a story.

You had tried to explain as gently as possible that you weren’t reading fics anymore but she'd sent you the link anyway, in case you changed your mind. She hadn’t been holding a gun to your head or anything, you didn’t have to click it. You could have let it sit in your little inbox till the end of time. She’d mentioned that you might like this story is all. This person, the writer she linked you to, was well known and pretty good. The stories were, her words, one of a kind. It had been late, you’d already been tucked up in bed and unable to sleep. The blue light from your phone was doing very little to help with the whole getting to sleep thing, but really, it’s Friday night. No harm, no foul.

Your bedroom was the perfect temperature, your blankets were the perfect weight over your body. Everything was soft and cocoon-like, the ideal place to hide from the world while you read something you’d promised yourself you wouldn’t. More fanfiction.

The first story was twelve chapters and you devoured them. Your new friend had been right. The story was brilliant. If you hadn’t known better this could have been another unpublished book, albeit shorter than Supernatural books usually are. There had been a vivid interaction between Sam and Dean finishing each other's sentences that felt bone-chillingly real. Probably because you’d seen the real them do the exact same thing in front of you a few days ago.

Well written fanfiction is not the issue. Nor is the fact that you’re reading fanfiction at all. The crazy, unbelievable part came down to four familiar words.

Little did she know.

If you remembered anything it was those words. They had haunted what nightmares you’d had since you heard them a week ago. Those words were the reason you jumped easier at every sound or movement.

Then you’d read them on the screen. Little had that character known that she wouldn't make it past the week. Alone those words weren’t irrefutable proof, not enough to convict anyway, the rest of the story might be. The way it was written. It was like you could hear the words in your head again, a different song sung in the same voice. An echo of what you heard most days since that first Friday in May.

Only when you get to the end do you dare to even think your suspicions.

There’s no way. It’s impossible.

The clock at the top of your phone tells you it’s nearly one o’clock in the morning now. You hadn’t devoured that first story as quickly as you thought. Maybe you’re tired. That’s what was causing this delirium. Tiredness was sending you further and into the realms of crazy. Crazier than the voice or the Winchesters or the fact that a shapeshifter is killing people.

It’s beyond deranged. It’s insane, it’s… it’s… unbelievable.

Your life, what you’ve been hearing, it can’t be just that; a story. It’s supposed to be in your head. Sure, everything you'd heard had been strung together like a book but it’s not actually being told. It’s something in you, broken, you needed an MRI. Or a therapist. You read too much, that’s all. You have too many books in your memory.

It would be easy to turn your phone off now. One a.m. That’s sleeping time. Your eyelids are heavy and it’s a struggle to keep them open.

But you click the link that says Masterlist anyway and see a post for something in progress at the top of the page. Till Death Do Us Part.

The synopsis alone makes your throat dry and your heart stop.

Y/N spends her days on paperwork and procedure. In the worst days of people’s lives, she is the full stop at the end of the sentence. When a loved one is lost, she replaces the irreplaceable; by completing the insurance claim. Her work sits on the outskirts of tragedy, far away enough that she pretends to have a normal life. But when she discovers two men attempting to steal her job out from under her? Everything changes.

The room is quiet enough to hear a pin drop. Gravity has forced you deeper into your pillow to the point where you couldn’t get up, couldn’t move, if your house caught fire around you. It’s a comfortable prison but you’re still trapped all the same, which only leaves scrolling, clicking, and reading as your options.

Yet your thumb is slow. It’s the only part of you that can move but you can’t bring yourself to do it too quickly. You suddenly can’t sleep either and indecision starts eating at you.

It might be an hour before you click on the first link—chapter one—it might be thirty seconds. The chapter eventually loads and when you do start skimming the words something steals the air from your lungs. A single line stands out to you, black letters on a white background that will haunt you for the rest of your short life.

This is a story about Y/N Y/L/N.

The early morning sun starts to leak through the gap in your curtains, sending a slither of light into the room. It slices over your bed, your arms still holding your phone and your face.  It's not particularly bright but it's enough to inform you that you haven't slept yet and you paw at your cheeks to wipe the tears from them.

Six chapters out of ten. There are six chapters online for anyone to read. Every facet of your life. There’s so much more than the words you'd heard in your already. Entire sections where the real you deviated from the path, because the you that is being written about has no idea what’s coming. She has no idea that she’s going to die. Or that you both are.

When you’d first heard that you’d run home in a panic but in the story you never did. You sat at your desk and worked mindlessly, made small talk with Harry about his weekend plans. You’d carried on living.

The invasion of your privacy is not the reason for the tear tracks blotting your face though. No, you'd cried for two reasons. Frustration had been what made your chin wobble and your eyes sting. What you were reading is what knocked your resistance enough to feel the wetness on your cheeks.

It's poetic. The irony of this character only learning to really live in her final days, without knowing it's her final days. The foreshadowing and tragedy perfectly  littered throughout. You may think you're better off knowing except what did you actually know? The only thing you know is the same thing everyone on the planet knows; death is coming. Yours is sooner than you'd like, sure, but you still had no idea what was coming at all.

You're not a crier, not pretty prose alone, but this isn't a character. It's you. The implication of sad, wasted days were your choices, your time, your shell of an existence.

You wouldn't have even thought your life was that ordinary until you'd read that it was.

So, you'd read. Over and over again as if you can will the ending to appear by memorizing whatever has already been posted. Sleeping was second hand to re-reading. You'd thought back to everything before this and your love of a good mystery, convincing yourself that you alone could find the clues. That’s where the key to solving this was. Hidden to anyone else but you.

Now you know every word; the good, the bad, and the ones you already heard in your head. There’s nothing. No glaringly obvious tips or hints anyway. Nothing that makes you sit up dramatically because of a fact only you know about yourself. Then again—you're reminded by the promise of an update soon—it’s still in progress.

The answer hits you between your eyes.

This story is in progress. It’s not a product of your mind anymore, it's being written by a human being. Although you have no idea how you are hearing it, or how she’s controlling you. Or if she brought you into existence like a monster from the books. There's still hope. She’s a person typing on a keyboard.

People can be stopped. Keyboards can be smashed. Stories can go unfinished.

You click back to her main profile and see her name. Emma. Your author has a name now, all the better to find her.

Emma. Iowa. That doesn't narrow it down much further. The only other slightly identifying piece of information on her profile is her age.

There's one thing Emma has gotten right in everything she's written so far, you have changed. Imminent death will do that to a person. Old you would have given up, let defeat win out. Luckily you're not that person anymore.

Not everyone is as honest as you would like when it comes to insurance. Sometimes you need to treat things like fraud because they are fraud, so you already have a friend who has dug up information for you in the past. With a lot less to go on.

Hi Stan,

It's been a while but I was hoping you had time to check something out for me. I'm looking for an Emma, 34, Iowa. I also have a link to her blog below. I know it's a long shot but if I can get a phone number, address, anything. You'd be doing me a huge favor. Are normal fees ok? Let me know if you're busy or if anyone else can do this for me.

Thanks,

Y/N

The email is brief but once your phone makes that tiny woosh sound to signify it's sent you feel comforted. A small semblance of relief wraps you up like the blanket you still have tucked under your arms. For the first time, you're not blindly trying things and hoping to solve the problem. You may not know how this is happening but you're being proactive with the facts you have. If your off the books P.I friend can actually find this woman then you may have an honest to God shot at preventing your own death. You might even get her out of your head to boot.

You check the time again, even though it's six a.m. you're finally tired enough to close your eyes.

Continue to Chapter 7.

5eva tags: @divadinag @darthdeziewok @fluentinfiction @witch-of-letters @supernatural-teamfreewillpage @magnitude101999 @alexwinchester23   Dean babes: @thewinchesterchronicles @akshi8278​ @bloodydaydreamer StrangerThanFiction tags: @jaylarkson @starsandmidnightblue​

[originofkaen]

Am I only one who will do spoonful of frosting when needing it cause of moods,

It’s dunkaroo frosting also. 🥺🥺🥺🥺

Felt moody so I was like f it. Open my frosting tub and did spoonful or two. Now drinking rest of my apple juice then boredom tilll sleep. Got mri at ten tomorrow. Wooooooo. Loud shaky machine time for my anxiety self aha. Sigh. More worry of Thursday eeg one. Sleep at midnight. Wake at four in morning. Fourrrrrr I’m like WHAT. apt tnot till afternoon. Have to take my meds but sleeping one. I’m just. Imma be a zombie that day during eeg

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Sigh

[circuitsworld]

Thermistor Circuit

A Thermistor thermometer is alluded to as a semi transmitter gadget that has electrical opposition and discovered to be relative to temperature. Essentially the word Thermistor framed with the mix of two words named as 'resistor' and 'warm'. These are known to be the sort of resistor with electrical opposition conveying positive or negative temperature obstruction which diminishes by 3% per degree Celsius.

Essentially there are two sorts of Thermistor Circuit which are alluded to as PTC implies Positive Temperature Coefficient of Resistance and NTC significance Negative Temperature Coefficient of Resistance. NTC are the structures which have opposite connection with temperature and obstruction of the article which implies that when there is an increment in the temperature of the item there will be a corresponding decline in the resistivity as well. At the same time if there is a lessening in temperature the safe level will have an expansion.

Though the PTC are concerned they witness a similar change in the temperature and opposition which implies that when there is an increment in the temperature the obstruction will likewise get increment and when there is a fall in temperature perusing of the article the resistivity also will diminish.

It's Incredible Uses:

• The thermistors are broadly utilized these days in various clinical, applications. It is properly utilized in clinical stethoscopes or via tests at the hour of medical procedure just as in different clinical units to try not to overheat in circuits, for example, X-Ray and ECG machines, MRI Scanners, Blood dialysis gear Infant hatcheries, and so forth

• We may locate their powerful use in home contraptions like cells, PCs, speakers, vehicles, Air conditioners, Clothes dryers, Dishwashers, Electric water warmers, Fire identifiers, Home climate stations, Oven temperature control, Refrigerator and cooler temperature Control, Toasters, Washing machines.

• Whereas modern applications are concerned it has a principle task to carry out in devices like Fluid stream estimation, HVAC gear, Photographic preparing hardware, Plastic covering hardware, Water cleansing gear, Welding gear, Gas stream markers, candy machines, Aircraft temperature, Missiles and space apparatus temperature, Satellites, and so forth

Most famous model in this class is fabricated by Barnant which offers you with fantastic particulars as temperature estimating range from 32 to 122°F or 0 to 50°C, enormous double presentation, overrange, underrange, and low-battery signs, Open sensor, DT capacity to show the differential temperature identifying with current in addition to evaluated one, memory stockpiling capacity up to 99 temperature readings, review choice, programmed or manual field alignment, Splash or shatterproof safe and with 1/4" test with plug connector.

Thermistor thermometer is reduced, strong, sensible and easy to understand gadget that can be utilized to gauge the exact temperature of food, individual, creatures, mechanical devices, and so forth These are discovered to be more moment and precise when contrasted with the customary or simple ones. Not many strides on the most proficient method to utilize this gadget:

• The primary thing that you need to attempt is switch on the estimating unit.

• After that check the temperature perusing status of the unit implies it ought to be on zero level. In the event that it isn't put it somewhere near squeezing the reset button on the gadget.

• Once you are finished with this, hold the test of the unit and make it to contact straightforwardly with item or subject you want to gauge. Anyway in the event of food you need to embed the test almost half inch deep into it and that too whenever you are done with the cooking interaction.

• Later on sit tight for quite a long time till you hear a blare sound.

• Then eliminate the unit out of the deliberate item or subject and check the temperature perusing the showcase screen of the device.

[theshy1sout]

Poppy’s extraordinary playlist

You know, it will be a bit longer chapter. I told myself to use three songs per chapter. It definitely won’t be a rule - sometimes there will be more songs than three, sometimes less. I planned this fanfic to be 20 chapters long, but I feel like it can change XD

I also lost my inspiration for writing on the final of this chapter... heh... I hope you won't burn this crap.

Enjoy.

_________________________

Chapter 3

- I'm glad you finally came back - Doctor said, looking at Poppy suggestively.

She tried to smile widely and look like she's really sorry.

- I made many decisions in the heat of the moment and I really regret most of it - Poppy said honestly. - I'm sorry...

- Ok, ok, I get it - Doctor interrupted her. - We really need to talk about the results of your research.

Poppy's smile dropped on the floor with a crash.

- It's not bad - She said and Poppy breathed a sigh of the relief. - You have a little embryo of the tumor in your brain. We can easily cut it in operation. No problem. You'll take some medicines after that for a month and You'll forget about the tumor.

The doctor almost smiled being happy for that easy way to problem-solution. But Poppy was really nervous about the operation. She gulped so loud thinking about it.

- Is it... Hurt? - Poppy asked shyly.

- No, we'll fall you asleep and desensitize you - She said dispassionately, doing something on her computer.

Poppy took a deep breath. She knew she shouldn't have run of her problems and she mustn't have delayed the operation. But she was really scared. She decided to ask Creek if he could company her.

And then she realized that she left Creek yesterday without a word of explanation and didn't see him for a long while. A really long while. She had to find him and apologize.

- So... - Poppy tried to calm herself down during asking this question. - How fast should I go to the operation?

The doctor looked at her thinking.

- Can you go today?

- Today?? - Poppy asked nervously.

- Yes, I think we can do it today evening or only next Saturday - She said splitting her hands. - The sooner the better I think.

Poppy took another big deep breath, preparing herself for this decision.

- Ok - She forced herself to say that. - Let's do it tonight.

The doctor smiled and wrote something on the computer.

- Should I... - Poppy was afraid of answer on this question. - Should I stay in the hospital till the operation?

- No, I think it's not necessary - Doctor said and Poppy was relieved once again. - You have to come here two hours before, we have to prepare you for the operation, but until that you can leave the hospital. You can also bring with you some company to make your spirit up before cutting the tumor.

Poppy was really uplifted. She put her hand on her heart feeling big relief.

- Thank you so much - She said gratefulness.

- Eh, just leave my cabinet right now. There are so many patients sitting on the hall - She answered still looking at the computer and waving a hand toward Poppy.

Poppy laughed and thanked once again leaving the cabinet. She had to find Creek until the operation, but first, she wanted to visit her dad. From yesterday she felt like she wanted to visit him every day. They needed it.

She went into his room. Cause if he was retired King he got his own hospital room, but it made him more lonely. Poppy didn't want to tell the whole Village that their lovely King Peppy was dying in the hospital but maybe if she'd do, he would be less forlorn. Trolls would want to visit him every day, so... Why not? But it'd make him more tired, maybe he really needed rest right now.

Poppy decided to ask him.

- Hi, dad - She greeted him with a tender smile and hugged him as tight as she could.

- Hello, sweetie - Peppy said smiling widely. - How's you going?

- Em, daddy... I've got a tumor too - Poppy said nervously.

Peppy's smile melted.

- No no no, but it's ok - She tried to comfort him. - I have an operation tonight. It's the only embryo so they'll cut it off easily. Don't worry about me. I’m only a bit nervous... about the operation - She added, rubbing her arm.

- Hey, you are the bravest woman in the village - Peppy said squeezing her hang and smiling comfortably. - It will be ok.

Poppy smiled at him a bit sadly.

- There’s something more in your mind - Peppy said trying to catch her look.

- I’m just thinking about... - She hesitated a bit. - Should I tell trolls that you’re in the hospital? Maybe they would visit you and you wouldn’t be so alone.

Peppy stared at her narrowly.

- You know I don’t need it - He answered after a while. - I like peace and silence.

- Are you sure? - She asked uncertainly.

He answered something, but she didn’t hear it. She felt like room filled by slow music. Poppy looked around and then came back her look to her daddy. He started singing:

Say what's on your mind 'Cause I can't read you now My hands can't figure out How to hold you like they don't know you 

She felt as he held her hand a bit tighter. She couldn’t hold his sight. She looked down feeling guilty for some reason.

Wanna dream crazy dreams, be a team like we used to Share a drink, sleeping bag, anything like we used to Wish I could share all doubts with you like I used to, like I used to do

- Okay, there is something on my mind! - Poppy interrupted him sharply, closing her eyes so tight.

Peppy blinked like he didn’t expect she could react that suddenly.

- But please don’t think I’m crazy - She went on. - Perhaps... I am crazy... Dad, I’m... I’m hearing trolls thoughts - Poppy finally looked into his eyes. - I hear them singing their thoughts. To me. Out loud. Trolls sing to me their thoughts. - She gulped. - I feel like a nut.

Peppy stared at her shocked. She hoped he didn’t get her as she was joking. She found her eyes wet as she thought it would be possible. She stayed silent on the edge of her seat.

- I heard the doctor singing a depressing song - She continued trembling. - I heard the whole village singing to me about they need help. My best friend sang that she’s blue and then... I argued with her. - She looked down ones again. - And this gray troll in the forest... Named Branch... - She rubbed her eyes. - Have you ever heard about him?

- Yes - Peppy said, calmly. - I have a memory of him from our escaping from BergensTown. He was the saddest kid I’ve ever met. He wasn’t happy about freedom, he didn’t dance, didn’t sing, didn’t...

- I’ve already heard him singing - Poppy interrupted him once again. - Even twice. And I talked with him. He advised me that maybe you’re the only person who can help me.

Peppy was silent, staring at some point on the blanket and thinking.

- And then, I mean, like minutes ago, I heard you singing - She was finishing the story, feeling a bit better as she saw dad listening to her without interrupting. - You sang about that you couldn’t read my mind like you used to. And it was because I haven’t told you about those things until now.

- I don’t really know what to say to you - He said after a while of silence. - How long is it happening?

- From the MRI - Poppy answered. - I didn’t want to talk about it with anybody, especially the doctor, because it sounds really ridiculous.

- Yes, it does - He agreed with a worried tone. - And... How does it make you feel?

- Firstly, I was terrified and confused - Poppy said. - But then I thought that I could help trolls with that sort of... power. But then again, it’s so overwhelming - She took a deep breath. - I have to hide it so it makes me feel affected and... alone. The good side of it is I don’t feel physically any difference - She tried to joke, but her smile was just crooked.

- You can tell me about anything if it makes you feel better - Peppy said concerned, holding her hand as tight as he could. She felt it and smiled more nervelessly.

- Thanks, Dad - She said, sighing calmly. - To be honest, It makes me feel much better.

Peppy smiled back. He lifted up his other hand.

- Come here - He said and she got down to hug him tightly. - I love you, sweetie

- I love you, Dad - Poppy whispered, hiding nose into his arms.

- I wish I could be with you anytime you need help - He added sadly. She smiled wider as she heard that. But he pushed her away and looked at her seriously. - I was scared to talk to you about it finding this topic really embarrassed, but now I see that I can’t delay a talk about it with you.

Poppy looked at him curiously, feeling his stronghold her arms.

- Poppy, you can’t be alone as a queen, and especially now, when you have this overwhelming power - He spoke really seriously. - I know you’ve got a friend, many of them, but I know you and I know what means to be a leader so I think... I think you need a one really close and trustworthy person in your life, who will company you anywhere you’ll go. Someone who would die for you or our kingdom. You need a King.

Poppy smiled as she heard that word.

- I’ve already got Creek - She answered without hesitation.

Peppy gulped, his holding on her arms tightened.

- That’s why I was scared to talk and with you - He said, looking down. - Poppy... I feel like Creek isn’t that person...

- What - She stood up really shocked. - Why do you think that?

- Poppy...

- He’s a lovely man and caring boyfriend, why he could be wrong?

- Poppy, listen...

- But, why could he fail me? He IS trustful and loyal and

- Poppy! 

She finally fell silent.

- Calm down - Peppy said softly. - Come here - He added giving her his hand.

Poppy came to him with a little hesitation. She let him hold her hand one again.

- Look at me, sweetie - He tried to comfort her. He spoke so slowly - It’s only your decision and it’s only my feels. I am not infallible, yes?

- Yes - She said still a bit outraged.

- I just want you to know it’s really important. Not only for you but for our kingdom too. Am I right?

Poppy sighed heavily.

- Yes

- I want you just to think about it. Make yourself certain. Could I ask you about it?

She took a deep breath again before answer.

- Yes, dad...

- I’m sorry if I make you upset - He finished.

- It’s okay - She said, putting a hand on her forehead and closing her eyes slowly recover. - I’m sorry that I zoomed out.

Peppy smiled at her affectionately.

- It’s a week filled by emotions, am I right?

Poppy chuckled suddenly feeling really tired.

- Yea, It is

- Go rest, you have operation tonight - He reminded her.

- Oh. Yes... Operation - Poppy felt exhausted. Dad was right, she really needed some rest before it. She smiled at him gratefulness thinking how much he cared about her. She got down and hugged him once again before saying goodbye and leaving the room.

Now she felt like she really needed to find Creek and talk with him. Maybe she could just go to her pod with him and rest, it would be nice too.

She went outside the hospital and felt fresh air. She took a one deep breath till she started walking around to find her boyfriend. She wasn’t thinking, just walking onward, feeling emotionally tired. Trolls were greeting her, but she couldn’t force herself to more than only slightly nodding. She wasn’t in the mood to smile at all. But she told herself that she wasn’t sad or blue like Suki, she was just weary. Not more than that. Just weary.

When she finally found Creek, she felt like her mouth formed in the mildly smile.

- Hi, honey - Creek said, kissing her on her cheek. - I didn’t see ya for a while. Are you okay? You look really tired.

- Yea, I’m fine - Poppy sighed, hugging him. - I’m just... Thinking too much... Feeling too much...

Creek put his chin on the top of her head, hugging her back.

- And how is your dad? 

- Good... - She answered, but this question reminded her of the talk with her dad. She sighed heavily and pushed Creek away, but only a bit. - Creek? - She asked grudgingly.

He smiled at her calmly.

- Yes, sweetie?

- Can I ask you a question?

Creek looked at her worriedly.

- I was just thinking... - She started, looking down. - If I’m... dying in the hospital like my dad, would you...

- Shh - He put his finger on her lips. And then he started slowly and calmly: - Stop thinking like that. You’re not dying, even better, your father isn’t dying right now. - He smiled at her so sweetly, moving a strand of hair from her eyes. - You just worry too much right now.

Poppy sighed tiredly once again.

- Maybe you’re right... - She looked at him, smiling back. - You’re right.

He smiled a bit wider and then she heard music started playing. She frowned. “Creek will be singing? - she thought. - Maybe something like “don’t worry, be happy” or some sweetie love song. That would be nice!” But music sounded a bit unsettlingly. Creek stepped back from her and sang:

I put a spell on you

Poppy blinked. She didn’t expect those words.

Because you're mine.

Words echoed through her head when she looked at his ambiguous sight.

You better stop the things you do. I tell you, I ain't lyin', I ain’t lyin’. No.

- Creek? - She tried to stop him, this song was unbearable. But he didn’t react, he came closer making her feeling uncomfortable for some reason. She gulped.

You know I can't stand you're foolin' around. I don't care if you don't want me. 'Cause I'm yours, yours, yours anyhow.

It was super weird! Poppy didn’t know what to say or do. She wanted just escape from him singing. And then she heard another song, a bit muffed by Creek’s. She pushed him away from her and looked around to find Suki.

I put spell on You

She ran through her without thinking. She just didn’t want to hear Creek even one second more

I put spell on you....

When she left him alone, she felt like she ran  squarely into another song. Much more depressed, much more overwhelming. Poppy slowed down to hear what Suki was singing.

I walk a lonely road The only one that I have ever known Don't know where it goes But it's only me, and I walk alone

It didn’t feel right, but Poppy joined Suki and started walking by her side and listen to her sad song, trying not to turn around to look at Creek.

I walk this empty street On the boulevard of broken dreams Where the city sleeps And I'm the only one, and I walk alone

I walk alone, I walk alone I walk alone and I walk a

My shadow's the only one that walks beside me My shallow heart's the only thing that's beating Sometimes I wish someone out there will find me Till then I walk alone

DJ Suki fell silent. They walked in silence for a while. But Poppy just couldn’t stand seeing her best friend sad.

- Suki...

Suki jumped, screaming. She covered her head by her arms.

- What?? You?? Here?? How! - DJ was really shocked. Poppy just forgot that when she heard someone’s singing, they didn’t know about it. It was embarrassing...

- Sorry! I didn’t want to scare you! - Poppy showed her open hands in the calming gesture.

They both froze like that. And then they started chuckling awkwardly, seeing each other’s face.

- You really terrified me, Pops! - DJ smiled, but not so widely. 

Poppy giggled briefly rubbing her neck.

- Suki, I... - She tried to start, but the DJ interrupted her.

- Yea, I know. You apologize for yesterday - Suki waved one hand.

- No, Suki! - Poppy tried to be serious. - I really need to talk with you.

Suki sighed briefly.

- I agree that I don’t spend time with you like I used to - Poppy confessed. - ... Because of Creek. And I’m not that good friend like I thought about myself. There were many things in my life, that changed in the last time and... I lost them. But now I’m sorry. If you forgive me, I promise that I never leave you alone anymore - She held her elbow shyly. smiling. - Can you give me a chance to upturn?

Suki smiled dorkly at her. She rolled her eyes.

- Of course, your Silver Tongue  - She said, bowing for a giggle. Poppy laughed. And their hugtimers lighted on. They both laughed and hugged each other.

- I missed you so much, Pops - Suki said. holding her really tightly.

- You’ll burke me! - Poppy shouted, chuckling. They pushed themselves away. - You know, I also miss Snack Pack. You think we can meet them?

Suki’s smile faded.

- Like.. right now?

- Yes! - Poppy beamed excitedly.

- Oh... You see... - Suki looked down. - I don’t know if there is Snack Pack...

Poppy straightened up and flew right.

- What?

- You see.. - Suki started grudgingly. - When you stopped going to our meetings...Guy Diamond started be busy... Satin and Chenille too... And also I stopped going to the meetings...

- But why??

- I dunno... I just didn’t feel like I wanted to... - Suki twisted her face.

- Well, then... We have to meet tomorrow! - Poppy ordered.

- ....you’ll come to the Snack Pack meeting?

- Oh, yes, I will! - Poppy threw her hands up.

- Oh, gosh... So will I - Suki laughed. But Poppy got a little serious once again.

- Suki... There is one more thing you have to know...

- What’s that? - She asked curiously.

- I’m having an operation tonight... Could you... come there with me? - She asked shyly.

Suki was shocked. She just stood in awe.

- Why are you having an operation? - Suki finally asked.

- You know... - Poppy looked down. She realized that she didn’t tell her anything at all. -  Wanna walk?

_________________________________________________________

I have to mention that sometimes I change the lyrics of songs a bit. But just a bit.

And also thank you @livinginithilien-blog once again for editing this crap.

King Peppy - Used to

Creek - I put a spell on you

Suki -  Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

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[rich50g-blog]

Starting anew

Hi i am Richard i was married for over 30 years to a non loving woman, a month ago i decided to find a loving woman for the rest of my life. I am 67 so maybe not impossible thing to accomplish but will be difficult to find someone who would love an old man, I am not wealthy by any means i will tell why that matters later, I also moved to Kingwood Texas i worked here 30 years ago and loved all the trees and trails for biking and walking. New apartment took me a while to get settled in, when i first got here i started having some problems with my left knee and hip, my hip was pain my knee was weakness so much so if i put all my weight on it i would fall down, I know how to fall from past experiences with weak ankles, i mostly scrape a knee nothing too serious. So I have also signed up for several dating sights some are worthless some are ok, some attract scammers who love old guys to try and weasel money from them, that happened to me 8 times before i stopped using the site., then i tried Zoosk, and was attracting all the wrong woman i thought, mostly gray haired old sad ladies, I realize i am old gray haired old sad man but thought i could get someone a little younger and intelligent. i next joined Anastasia-date, mostly Ukraine with some Russian ladies thrown in, most liked my age and my pictures, so that worked out pretty well, i would do a search for a particular city, and height of the lady, nothing else was added, I am 6′2″ so liked taller ladies 5′8 and up. that was easy there are a lot of tall slavis women, then after a couple of chats i learned to search ladies with no kids, I have had my kids did not need anymore, i also looked for ladies over 35 because the ones under that all wanted babies or family. I have two grown daughters and after my youngest was born i had not one but two Vasectomy’s which was fun no. hehe So my search contained height, no kids, over 35, and i added different levels of English, I found out Intermediate was not good either the ladies did not understand a word i said or typed, they had to use a translator program so then i would add Advanced or fluent to my search, the advanced ladies knew moer English and understood me pretty much. So the only problem i noticed with the women here was the men there, every one mentioned how selfish the men were there and only wanted sex and no relationship, So i was getting more and more information into what these ladies wanted in a man and not wanted. So I fit my profile to feel their wants and needs, Wow I started to get some beautiful, intelligent women who preferred older men, they trust them not to be selfish, and conceded like most not all slavic men. I will not put all of the men there in the category but a lot are, some examples a pretty 30 year old lady with 3 kids from Odessa Ukraine, I mean she is gorgeous, intelligent and dumped by her husband who found a much younger woman, She raised 3 kids so far by herself for 10 years because her husband did not want the responsibility to bother him. What a loser and he has not seen his kids since he left with new girlfriend, ok anyway she is very nice and pretty but finding a lady with 3 kids was not my idea of life, so i told her goodbye, sorry i have to have somethings about the ladies taht i can live with. that was not one of them,  you won’t believe the next one, who was a stewardess living in Odessa, what a crazy bitch oh my, oh yea there is something called video chat, not all ladies have it, but this one did, she was pretty and tall ok and she was 30 with not kids again ok. She started stripping I mean to nothing, and playing with herself i was not prodding her to do anything my mouth was open in awe of what was happening, by the way video chat is very expensive. Next this crazy woman starts to talk about her mother, I go ok as she talks more and more about her telling me how pretty she is and stuff, again i know i should have left the chat but i wanted to see what this woman was going to do next, well next made me sick, this whole entire time she was setting me up to have sex with her and her mother, my gosh sorry that is sick to me, so now i have had enough I closed the video chat and blocked her from contacting me again, One thing i was starting to find out was none of the ladies i had talked to wanted to or thought of leaving the site, they said they felt safe, but me thinks that the site programmed them to never leave, because site only makes money if they get men to chat with them, So none of the ladies even mention it when i ask they change the subject. The thing is i came to figure out is this site and most of them do not want the people to ever meet, they make it so hard to meet it is almost impossible too, the women do not realize this or if they do afraid to leave the site because they live in old communist state and they were told to do everything and obey without question. That is why anytime i would ask a lady to leave this site to like Google Hangouts they would say maybe later i still have not made enough money on you yet haha here is another thing all chats are monitored and if you were to type the name of a free site the monitor would dot out what you typed. Again they do not want the girls to meet anyone they lose money if that happens., So I still talk to a couple of ladies just to chat and see how life in their country is.Most of them are still bad, but flights to Europe are opening up. Ukraine still has civil war going on and no body can fly there for obvious reasons they shoot down airliners. for the ladies to get to the area they have to take a bus to Kiev and fly from there, riding the bus through a bad area. So it is not easy, because of Covid I would talk to many ladies because the chance of visiting them was almost impossible because of borders closed.. Ok moving on i had two MRI’s last week and i was given a appointment with a neurosurgeon, they told me i have degenerative disc disease in spin lumbar causing pressure on nerves and spinal stenosis, but i did not understand it could be surgery or physical therapy and med . we will see. Ok while i was looking at the Europe dating site I had found the Asian one mostly Chinese women who are all very beautiful and good wife's they also think older men are better because the young ones they cannot trust, this site is owned and operated by the Europe one with same features, I found here that most of the ladies here do not want babies over 35, so again my search criteria consisted of over 35 at first but i changed that later for another reason. I would also in search add wealthy or rich, just to see how many women turned up,  hundreds of not thousands of ladies starting from 19 on up. and again they are looking hard for old guys they can trust. Most were business owners from very rich families. originally i was not in this for money but i got to think why not i am on SSN and a small Pension so heck yes. ok I first got a letter from woman 1 on July 9th, two days later her sister wrote one. Shes lady 2. lady number 1′s letter said she was a banker wanting to invest in the U S and moving their business here, yea what are the odds right? Well  when i got her sisters lady number 2 who told me their family where heirs to the Qing Dynasty, i  did my research and found that their family is one of the oldest and riches family in China. So wow, this is the arrangement the sisters wanted to make with me, I would marry one of them and the other would be my concubine. What the heck? So now i have to chose between a gorgeous 27 year old or the other sister a beautiful 19 year old, who are promising to fly here in private jet. ,Oh yea i have set up a call to the girls next week and supposed to talk with Dad as well. No pressure right? Now i am getting a little nervous the girls are telling me that their father wants me to take over the family, because Dad wants to retire,I was a manager and engineer for ATT for over 30 years but this would be managing the wealthiest family business in China. Yes it is getting very real now, oh yes on the dating site on my search for rich or wealthy or business owners thousands of ladies profiles appeared I talked to some but very immature would in first chat say they have loved me all of their life, this was common with most of them i talked too, The younger sister is cute but i can tell is very immature so chances are i am going to chose the older sister who owns several banks, and wants to move her business to the U S which allows me to live where i want too, my choice is San Diego, i grew up there and love it there, by the beach both girls seem excited about that.Well its 5 in the morning my hip will not let me sleep but i am going to try again, night all till tomorrow for more Richie