#two ghosts coded

[watermelonsugacry]

But It's Not You

A/N: double update bebe! 💚

SUMMARY: After almost a year into One Direction's hiatus, Harry craves being in the studio again to make some music. After inviting his best friend and former band member, YN, onto his team, they spend the next two months in Jamaica as they make an album, uncover hidden feelings, and explore uncharted territories. (3.3k)

GENRE: 1dbandmember!yn, friends to lovers

SINCE 2010 masterlist // Jamaica series // Previous song here! ✈

SIDE-NOTE: italicized is voice over commentary (I wrote this kind of like the Behind the Album documentary) bold are things Harry actually said irl

YN’s jaw goes slack in a yawn as she knuckles over her eyes. Her bare feet pat softly against the hardwood floor of the hallway and she has to keep in mind to be quiet on some level as she passes the rooms where the rest of the production crew sleeps. The moonlight that peaks through the multitude of windows throughout the house act as her guide. 

It’s been a few days since the team has arrived in Jamaica and so far, it’s been both a relaxing and exciting experience for everyone. With a day full of writing and continuing to get more and more hands-on experience producing, the team was able to get another song down and didn’t go to sleep until the early hours of the morning. Unable to fall asleep herself, however, she finds herself out of bed in search of a late-night snack. She stretches her arms above her head before letting them fall down to her sides. 

When she faces the kitchen, her feet come to a stop when she sees a semi-bright light that shines over a small section of the room. Harry stands in front of the open refrigerator, his forearm rests on top of the door while his body bends over to look inside. His torso is bare and the muscles on his back push and pull as he goes to grab something. His sleep shorts hang low on his hips and when he looks over his shoulder at her, his hand to his mouth as he bites down on something. 

Is that a strawberry? 

Harry takes in the sight of her: an oversized band t-shirt she’s had since their time in the band that has holes scattered around the fabric and slipping off her shoulder every now and then. Her pj shorts are barely visible from underneath the huge shirt and her hair is a bit tousled from her attempt to fall asleep. He smiles at her as he finishes what’s in his mouth, “Good morning, darling.” 

Ignoring how nice and raspy his voice sounds, she smiles back at him and shuffles her feet over to him to lean her forehead in the middle of his chest. When she feels his arms around her shoulders, letting out a hum at the warmth he gives off, she thinks back to the time when she couldn’t stand physical affection. She felt claustrophobic if someone were to wrap themselves around her; even with her ex, it still felt off to be held or hold his hand. She knew she was in trouble when she found herself naturally gravitating towards Harry’s body for a cuddle or missed the warmth of his hand on her back rather than anybody else’s.

“Morning,” She says as she snuggles deeper into his chest. 

“Couldn’t sleep?” 

She shakes her head side to side, still pressed to him, “You?”

He hums out a no before he says, “Want a strawberry?”

She lifts her head so her chin rests in the middle of his chest. She silently parts her lips and he places the half-eaten strawberry to her mouth. The tips of Harry’s finger hold onto the green leaves of the fruit as she takes a bite. He pulls it away and finishes off the rest of the strawberry before throwing the end leaves into the sink beside them. 

Knowing that there wasn’t a chance of going back to sleep any time soon, the two friends situate themselves on the kitchen floor, their backs to the kitchen island with their legs splayed out in front of them and the refrigerator door open. As they chat, they’ll both occasionally grab at the cut pieces of fruit in the bowl between them.

“I’ve been thinking about you a lot lately.”

Harry discreetly cringes to himself at his words. As comfortable as he is to talk about literally anything with her, he has to catch himself before he says anything stupid—meaning, not accidentally telling her that he’s head over heels in love with her.

“Yeah? All good things, I hope.”

“Oh no, just the bad stuff,” He says sarcastically.

“Shit, I knew it.” Harry chuckles when she playfully throws a grape at his chest with a smile. 

“No, I could never. There’s nothing horrible about you, lovie.” Despite his better judgment, he lets the words of affection slip from his mouth. “You’re perfect.”

YN scoffs with a roll of her eyes. “Don't say that,” she says around a mouthful of a slice of orange.

“But it’s true. You’re beautiful, YN.”

“That’s a bit hard to believe,” Before he can swallow the grape and protest, she beats him to it. “Come on, H. M’nothing like the girls you’ve been attracted to in the past. With their perfectly blue eyes and scarlet red lips,” YN says with a dramatic, playful flutter of her eyes before twisting at a cherry stem between her fingers.

Harry furrows his brows as he processes her words, “Okay but, was that ever really me?”

“What do yeh mean?” she asks with a tilt of her head.

And oh how he wishes he could explain himself to her. Throughout their time in the band, it’s been a known fact that their management teams have been trying to force a certain persona on each of the band members. For Harry, he was labeled as a womanizer: a bad boy who's never done anything bad. Time and time again, their teams had set him up with fake blonde models who were only into him for his name, looks and nothing more. And after each time, he would find himself going back to her. 

He’ll take her natural hair color and texture over the girls who fry their hair to achieve a fake-blonde look. He’ll take her bare face over any of the women with too much contour and red lipstick any day. He’ll take her natural plushy hips and chest without it having been done through the work of a doctor. He’d rather be with YN. He meant what he said, she’s perfect. Even her imperfections are perfect.

How he wishes he can tell her all of this but his tongue trips over itself. How can he even collectively get his words together when she’s patiently waiting for him to speak with her soft smile and her eyes that sparkle from the refrigerator’s white fluorescent light. 

Harry smiles down at his lap, “Y’know, my mum thinks we’re dating.” 

He’s changing the subject. She decides not to call him out on it and just smirks at his statement.

“M’not surprised.” When he gives her an amused look, she continues with a lazy shrug of her shoulder. “Me mum's the same way.”

It’s no secret that their mums have been secretly-not-so-secretly rooting for them to get together the second they saw the kind of chemistry their kids began to show during their time in the X-Factor. The two women don’t push their wishes on them though, merely watching from the sidelines waiting for them to realize it for themselves. 

A giggle tumbles past YN’s lips as it easily puts a dimpled smile on his face. “Do you remember that one time when we were on our, what? Third tour and we did that waltz dance thing on the B-Stage?”

Of course he remembers. The band was doing the segment of the show where they answered fan-sent questions. Most of them were dares and this one in particular asked the band to show off their ballroom skills. When none of the other boys wanted to be her dance partner, Harry honorably stepped up with an out-reach of his hand.

“The time when you clumsily fell on me and we landed on the floor?”

“No, no. You fell on me,” YN points out with emphasis, her laughter like music to his ears. 

“Same thing.”

“It is not the same thing.”

“Where were you going with this again?” He asks with a humored look, plopping a blueberry past his lips. 

“Our mums were at that show.” Harry tucks his chin down to his chest as his shoulders shake with a chuckle as he knows exactly where she’s going with this. “And they wouldn’t shut up about it afterwards in the green room, remember? Penny just kept going on and on about how that was gonna be us dancing at our wedding or some shit.”

“My mum was already telling me about taking some dance lessons so I wouldn’t trip up like we did on stage.”

YN squeezes her eyes shut, one hand over her mouth to muffle her laughter while the other one grips onto Harry’s wrist. The creases beside his eyes appear as his own chuckles rumble from his chest. After they’ve calmed down, Harry lets out a happy sigh at the memory.

“Yeah...Richard had a field day with that one.”

As soon as the words come out of his mouth, he instantly regrets it by the sad look that comes over YN. Her once giggling shoulders slow down to a slump, her cheeky smile fades into a somber one and her bright eyes dim down to her lap.

Bringing up their old management team has become a sensitive topic for YN. These people who took her freedom away, tried silencing her voice just because she was a woman, and forced a different persona on her for the sake of fame sit in the darkest parts of her mind. 

Even for something as silly as the two of them dancing together on stage had their management representative give them a good scolding. Richard went on a rampage, yelling at YN for her improper behavior, for putting her hands on Harry in that way. He scolded her for being so clumsy and that she made them fall on purpose just to get physically close with her band mate.

It broke Harry’s heart to see YN keep her mouth shut, knowing that she would bite back if she could. He saw the way she had her hands clasped together in front of her, occasionally flinching back at Dick’s spitting words.

And when Harry tried sticking up for her, he was told off for even offering himself to YN, that he should have known better. That supposed little “stunt” that they pulled had cost their solos to be removed from the new song they were working on for the next album.  

“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have brought that up—”

“Don't be.” She says sincerely, licking her lips and keeping her gaze away from her best friend.

Call it a curse or a superpower, but he sees the way her mind begins to race. She’s been good at hiding it, but he can read her like an open book. 

“Tell me what you’re thinking,” He tells her softly.

Knowing she can’t hide from him, she lets out a deep sigh, “I just felt so trapped sometimes, you know? They’ve just always dictated our lives in everything. What we wear, what we say,” Who we can be with. “And for what? More money in there’s fookin’ pockets? You know, there were just times in my life where I didn’t even feel...alive.” 

“Do you still feel that way?” 

“Some times more than usual,” She surprises herself as she answers his question truthfully. She didn’t expect to be talking about this tonight or ever with anyone, really. But she’s glad it’s Harry. 

“One day I’ll tell you everything,” She thinks to herself.

“But do you know when are the times that I don’t feel that way?”

“When?”

“When I’m with you.”

“Shut up,” He looks away from her with a bashful smile on his face. Even from the small light coming through the kitchen, she can still see the pink coming onto his cheeks.

“It’s true. It sounds cheesy as hell but it’s like I feel the weight of the world around me being lifted or something. It’s like I can finally breathe. Like, I remember that one day on the yacht last year. We were sitting on the front of the boat and we didn’t really talk or anything but we were just...I don’t know. It’s kinda stupid. I think you were asleep or something so I don’t think you remember—”

“You wore that green bathing suit and the sun was just setting so the sky was kind of orange,” When YN turns her head to look at Harry, he’s already staring back. “I remember looking at you then. You were sitting up and had your eyes closed. You were crying.” She doesn't flinch when he brings his hand to her cheek and wipes away her tears with his thumb. YN didn’t even realize she was crying until now. “But when you opened your eyes, you took a deep breath and you... you just looked so in-the-moment. You looked free, YN.” 

She closes her eyes and lets the tears silently stream down her face. Harry’s forehead touches hers.

“This was all I used to need,” She whispers in the space between them. Her words pluck a chord in his heart. He’s felt the same feeling more and more lately. He knows that they’re both incredibly grateful for the success they’ve had with their careers so far. They were able to start so young, provide for their family, and do what they love to do every single night for crowds of devoted fans. 

But there’s a longing for the silence. 

She can be in a room full of fans and press and their team, but she can still feel like the loneliest person in the world. Having each other to lean on, having someone to go to when the darkest parts of themselves want to consume them is more than all the happiness that this measly world can provide. 

“I know. I feel it, too.” Harry whispers in the small space between them, reaching up to thumb away at a tear on the supple skin of her cheek. “I was just thinking about how much we haven’t spoken to each other in a while before this.”

“It had only been a few weeks,” YN pulls back a bit and smiles. She wipes her eyes with the front of her worn-out shirt. “And we’ve been texting during that time anyways.”

“Still. S’not enough.” 

She softly laughs at Harry’s teasing. He puts an arm around her shoulders and pulls her to his chest. As much as the band’s hiatus was needed, there’s no denying the fact that the separation was hard—especially for these two. How can one normally carry on through life when the person you see, talk to, and laugh with everyday goes away?

They sit in comfortable silence for a little bit longer, staying embraced by one another before YN speaks up.

“I love you, Harry.” Her words make his body tense up and he tries not to let it show too much. She lifts her head from his shoulder and one little dip of his head can connect their lips. His eyes search hers, trying to find if she meant her words in the same way he does. He sees her eyes flicker down to his lips before she takes a deep breath. “No one knows me like you do. I feel safe with you. I...I feel alive with you.”

When he nods his head in agreement, his nose brushes alongside hers, “I feel everything with you.”

“I meant what I said,” She can get lost in his green eyes, looking at her with that same feeling she feels in the pit of her stomach. The same feeling she first felt as a teenager whenever he was around her. The feeling she would get despite being engaged to someone else. She meant those three words, but now that they’re not under the watchful eye of their old management team, the feeling terrifies her even more. “You’re my best friend, Harry.”

And there it is. 

During their time in the band, there was no question that the two were able to get on another level of closeness that they knew each other like the back of their hands. Reading each other from across the room became second nature. Maybe the separation has made Harry lose his touch. Maybe those three words don’t share the same meaning they do for him. 

“And you mine,” He reciprocates truthfully.

Without another word, YN shuffles herself to lay her head down on his lap. He brushes his fingers over her scalp, gently pushing her hair behind her ear. Once he sees that her eyes are closed and hears her breathing has evened out, he whispers her words back to her unknowing they hold her true meaning behind them.

“I love you, YN.”

...

Anytime you’re doing anything different, it’s quite scary. I didn’t know what I wanted it to sound like, I didn’t know what I wanted it to look like,” Harry explains the initial feelings he had when making his album. “But it was nice to have someone there who you’re familiar with and, and sort of turn to them when you feel a bit uneasy.”

The next morning, YN plops down on the chair next to Harry at the dining table where he finds him scribbling away in his brown leather journal, “Hey.”

“Hi,” he answers, his eyes still glued to the pen on the paper.

“Anything good?” YN nods to his notebook.

“Maybe, actually.” He shifts his body to face her. “It kind of just wrote itself to be honest.” 

A soft smile tugs itself on her lips as she leans her elbow on the table to rest her temple on her fist, “The best ones always do.” 

“Kind of wanted to let the work do the talking a little bit. I mean, definitely part of my ego wanted to see if I could write something that people liked without people knowing everything about me.”

Harry slides over the journal for her to read, “What we spoke about last night really stuck with me.”

That infamous crease in her brows appears on her face as she reads his scribbled handwriting and Harry wants nothing more than to smooth over the skin with his thumb or a gentle press of his lips.

We're just two ghosts standing in the place of you and me

Trying to remember how it feels to have a heartbeat.

“I didn’t mean to overstep by writing something personal about you. It was just an idea and a melody for it was stuck in my head all morning.”

“No, don't apologize. This sounds good. Really good, actually. You took what I feel kind of pathetic about and made it sound poetic. It’s beautifully written, Harry.” She lets out a laugh and slides Harry back his journal. “M’kind of jealous that I didn’t write something for myself like this.”

“Well, it can be our song then,” Harry rubs his index finger under his nose, a nervous habit that he hopes will go unnoticed by her; it doesn’t. “I mean, I still need to work out the guitar bits and stuff.”

Instead of calling him out and teasing him just to see the pink tint hit his cheeks, she reaches over the table and lifts the acoustic guitar onto her lap, “That can be arranged.”  

Not long after, the team is scattered around the room as they watch the two former band members create music together. 

We're not who we used to be

We don't see what we used to see

Their voices blend together beautifully, naturally falling into a harmony. YN’s fingers press on the wired strings as she strums with her other hand. 

Mitch watches from his seat on the opposite side of the table, his eyes flickering back and forth between the pair. Harry wasn’t kidding when he said that YN is a skilled guitarist; she’s making beautiful melodies with it without even trying. 

More importantly, he sees the way they look at each other. As YN adlibs a vocalized melody, a smile etches on her face as Harry looks at her.  His dimples dig into his cheeks and the tiniest hint of pink paints the apples of his cheeks.

Mitch may not know a lot about these two, but it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to see their shared chemistry. 

.

taglist:

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[auspicioustidings]

I love your work! May I please request ghost finding a captured civilian in an enemy base and taking her for himself?

Ah little posessive freak Ghost my beloved <3 I didn't know if you were looking for fluff or twisted Simon so I've leant towards the latter!

CW: Attempted rape (non-graphic), kidnapping

They had been warned there were going to be civillians in the building, but it wasn't the first time Ghost had to work around hostages to get the job done. It was an understanding on the team that whereever possible it wasn't going to be the huge fucker in the skull mask who dealt with that side of things. If they knew where hostages were being kept, that's where they sent Gaz or Johnny or even Price to settle them and get them out. Not the Ghost.

And that was working smoothly once again. Gaz had radioed in saying he found where they were being kept, had taken out their guards and would wait for the all clear for an exit route for the handful of doubtless terrified little civilians looking at him like he was the second coming for saving them.

They were all accounted for and that always made Ghost feel some tension bleed away. The last thing he needed to be worrying about was hostage situations.

The rest of the mission was easy enough, taking out any enemies and finding the saferoom to snoop around in for intel. It was laughably easy to get into. Saferooms only really worked if the person who knew the code didn't spill it at the first little twist of an arm, the press of a knife against their throat. They only worked if they were used. But obviously playing at warlord the man was arrogant, thought he could easily take on whoever came at him. Idiot. The moment he had the code, Ghost had no more use for him until he could get him somewhere for a proper interrogation, so he was smacked in the skull with a pistol and out cold. His fingerprints and eye scanner worked just fine even with him unconcious and the code he had given beeped with a green light and the click of a lock.

It was a damn good thing that you assumed it was your captor coming in and so were aiming the cast iron at where his face would be. Instead it smacked into the tactical vest of a much taller man. You hissed and spat and fought like a feral cat when the man immediately reacted by grabbing your wrist and twisting so you cried out and dropped the pan. There went your weapon, there wasn't much else to use in this little safe room but for the small implements in the kitchen and you hadn't felt confident with a knife. A blunt object with a larger surface area had felt like a better bet.

"Don't fucking touch me! I'll claw your fucking eyes out!" you spat out at what you were sure was a bloody monster.

You had been a victim of wrong place wrong time about 12 hours prior. You had broken down on a stretch of road that barely got any use and had fuck all phone signal to get help, so were at the mercy of someone passing by. Just your luck the someone passing by was some slimy asshole with a compound nearby he thought to drag you to. He had found out quickly he wasn't getting his hands on you without a fight. You were a bit of a mess, shirt torn and what you suspected was a cracked orbital bone from where he had punched you after you bit his tongue. You wished you had bit fucking harder.

The only thing that had saved you in the end was the alarm going off. The man had thrown you into the safe room, telling you that once he had dealt with whoever dared break into his base he was going to fuck you bloody. You'd kill him before he got the chance. You'd fucking kill him before all this adrenaline fuelled fight turned into fear and had you accepting your fate.

The monster in the skull mask didn't have the laugh of a monster. It was gruff but there was something very genuine about it. He had his hands on both of your wrists, locking them so you couldn't scratch at him with yout body pulled right into him so you couldn't kick either. Your wrists were pinned at your chin so you couldn't even bite at him. Didn't much stop you from fighting, trying to just drop all of your weight to get him off balance. The added weight did not phase him in the slightest.

"Settle sweetheart, I'm the good guy."

"Do good guys often wear skull masks?!" you hissed back, still struggling to no avail.

He manouvered so that you could see out of the doorway and to the passed out man on the floor.

"They do when they're going after bad guys."

It was like all the adrenaline had finally burned off at right that moment and you felt yourself go boneless in his hold, fight gone. You had a sick moment of being disappointed that you could see that the man was still breathing.

"We sure all the civilians are accounted for?"

You felt a little dazed as you squinted back at him before realising he must have been speaking on the radio. Whatever he heard back must have been interesting because he looked at you, considering, before twisted the little dial to another channel.

"Got a stray, let's keep it out of the reports."

Simon knew that the 141 would back him up. After all, him and the Seargants had always admired the relationship between Price and his wife even if when they first met she kept trying to murder him. She had grown out of it after a few years.

And Simon had never felt like this before. He thought you truly would have killed him if you had been able when he opened the door. It was love at first murder attempt for him.

He cooed at you and comforted you the whole way through exfil. It wasn't until you realised that you couldn't leave that it really started getting fun.

[awesomefringey]

https://www.instagram.com/p/DAtOF5rMYAs/?igsh=ZHI2YW5pcml0dDNk

THE MOST ANGELIC PIC OF LOUIS.. 🥹🥹🥹

And yes i do agree, harry is all about metaphors but here he was just one sec short of putting Louis name in the song..💙💚

Ughhh stop! I knoooow! 😭 Harry was so blatant back in 1D and in his earlier days of his solo career. People keep forgetting it so this is a good reminder.

Same lips red / Same eyes blou blue

Same white shirt / couple more tattoos

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

I rest my case.

[starry-bi-sky]

Sketch dump! I havent done one of those in a while. These are all from June-July while I was on vacation.

First we have Layal! The delightful Mother of Monsters, aka the Ghost Zone’s most evil mama bear AND my take on a fem!danyal dan! I like to imagine she could pummel Dan into the ground, but that stands true for any and all of my au Dans. Bc i am INCREDIBLY biased.

She mostly lives on her island in the Ghost Zone, taking in monsters of the Infinite Realms of all kind and raising them as her own. Surprisingly enough, she does genuinely love her children. That’s about where her love ends. She stole the minotaur, his name is Asterion.

Then we have Daini-Yel! He’s from an au i’ve never actually talked about on here. He’s literally just Danny for an Epic!-inspired au. He's an unknown entity in the newly released open-adventure, odyssesy-inspired game "Nautilus", and he is not a part of the game's code :). He showed up three months after the game's initial launch, and was discovered during a live when a streamer was on their way to fight a boss much similar to Circe and the streamer accidentally took a detour and found his pathway (of which did not previously exist).

He's very friendly! And offers you, the Captain, a strange liquid with even stranger powers called "Ektolai", in order to help you fight Circe. His whole vibe and creation is literally just the song "Wouldn't You Like" from Epic. If you run into him enough times at the start of the game, you can convince him to join you on your adventure as part of the crew. He's a powerful ally and a very good friend, despite his strange awareness of the world around him...

Oh, but be warned... just like the rest of your companions, your actions have consequences and what you do affects their opinion of you. Daini is no different! Your close allies can quickly become enemies.

[helenofblackthorns]

thought about the livvy & jace/janus parallels again 378 dead 2992 injured... like wdym they were killed by the exact same sword, with jace being stabbed in the back & livvy stabbed in the front. wdym they were raised on the shores of the exact same lake almost exactly five years apart. wdym they were both came back wrong. the way livvy and janus share the common goal of just wanting to get what they lost too, and they both spend their gotsm stories watching their loved ones with no way to properly interact with them despite how badly they want to.

it's arguably one of the things that terrifies me the most going into twp like literally what does it all mean... what does this mean for livvy...

[joonebugg]

hello :]

that's a big bulk of pictures but I had so many ideas to draw that I literally had to stop myself from drawing too much lol

had so much fun stylizing them (if that's okay ^^') and thinking of their different dynamics ur ink is especially fun to draw they're so cool...

drawing ur designs also made me notice a bunch of different little details like nightmare having his little gang's souls on his chest, of the lines on dream's and nightmare's faces, or ink's flowy scarf and a bunch of other stuff. and these little details make me appreciate them even more :}}}

DUDE OMG OMG I AM FREAKING OUT SO BAD /VPOS

THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD IN YOUR STYLE!!!!!

AND THEY WAY THEY ACT!!!! AUGH........it's so real.........you did so well with their characters...I.....guh.......I am diesing........

ALSO YOU NOTICED NIGHTMARE'S NECKLACES!!!! AHHHH!!!! I'M SO GLAD YOU DID!!!! I WILL EXPLAIN THAT IN THE TAGS

THIS WAS SO FUN!!

I wouldn't ever mind doing something like this again in the future, your art and ideas are so cool and I absolutely adore them!

Thank you so much for doing this with me! This was genuinely such a pick-me-up for my mood <3

[coolsvilleprincess]

Had an itch to draw Mortifer and Nikara because I was thinking about them teaming up so now it's the annual Warlock of the Year party and the theme is fur coats (I imagine Vincent's is faux but the other two who really is to say)

I do wonder how they would interact in a situation where both of them and Vincent are all lurking around the same party. Vincent and the gang attending the same awards party as both of Van Ghoul's exes would be a fun concept I think.

[andstuffsketches]

coming soon*: Another Code 3: Thanks for the Memories

*never

[syrenki]

Does pretending to be fine on the outside bring you at least some sort of satisfaction? That they won’t see how bad it gets

yesss and it's so selfish and embarrassing, i keep hoping someday they'll all see right through the bullshit and then they'll say "oh my, it was so very bad all along and you never said anything? you withstood it all and never brought any attention to yourself? that's so selfless, i could never, i would have broken earlier, you are so strong. we will help you now, you deserve it now because you never asked for anything!!!" but it never happens and it never will happen and the worse it gets for me the more i put on the cheerful and selfless and carefree demeanor, i get so desperate to keep it all up because if i ever drop the act and start Acting Depressed, start wearing my arms out or stop smiling at everybody all the time, i would be acting selfish, i would be attention-seeking, i would be undeserving of any help at all since i'm simply craving attention. you see what i mean? it's all twisted but i swear there is a logic there - the more desperately i need something to change, the kinder i will act, the milder, gentler, more selfless, quieter, i have to handle it with humility because not complaining and just taking it quietly is what would make me deserving of some care, and sometimes i need it so badly that i'd do anything to deserve it. i keep thinking if i deserved it i would have already received it, only that's not how people function, people go to psychologists or tell their friends 'i'm depreseed' and that's how they get help, not through martyrdom and humility. but i do it the quiet way and the worse things get the quieter and more mellow i become and it will probably go on this way until i kill myself and then people will say "holy shit, she was always so cute and kind and pastel, nobody could have expected this, who could have had any idea?"

[scoobydoodean]

Ooh what if I made gifs 2day

[juliareed]

Fandom: Alias Relationships: Sark/Sydney Song: Spiracle by Flower Face Content warnings: Blood, death, violence, spiders, insects, flashing lights

[pandoratheprocrasticreator]

vivia: everyone must overcome the death of others to keep on living. no one can remain in place and look back every time.

yakou: *never gets over the death of his wife*

yakou: *is technically immortal in a town that is designed to never change*

yakou: hey vivia look how hard i can kill myself

[shaykesqueer]

Copia is a WOT fan just because of all the references to ‘the dark one’s taint’

(Thank you @callmeghoulshit for pointing that out when I was rambling 😂)

Copia is for sure an undying Forsaken fan 💅

Tbh, Imperator gives Lanfear vibes…

[sanctui]

tags . . .

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        YOU  HAVE  BLOOD  ON  YOUR  TEETH  /  SMILE  FOR  THE  CAMERA!     |     𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓  ╱   𝐈𝐂.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        TEAR   ME   OPEN   &.   PRAISE  ME   RAW  AND  PURE    |     𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓  ╱   𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        DO  YOU  FIND  ME  SACRELIGIOUS?  DO  YOU  FIND  ME  LOVELY?     |     𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓  ╱   𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        SINK  TEETH  INTO  TENDON  /  I  AM  YOURS.  I  AM  YOURS.     |     𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐄𝐋 𝐃𝐔𝐒𝐓  ╱   𝐇𝐂.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        FIND   GOD   IN   THE   LINE   OF   YOUR   JAW   &.   BREAK   IT     |     𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑   ╱   𝐈𝐂.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        NOT  A  PERSON  BUT  A  VORTEX   /   ALWAYS  HUNGERING     |     𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑   ╱   𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        NIGHT  HID  THE  SUN  &.  YOUR  FACE  DRANK  MY  DREAMS     |     𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑   ╱   𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        MY  GOD  IS  DARK  AND  LIKE  A  WEB  ;  A  HUNDRED  ROOTS  DRINKING     |     𝐋𝐔𝐂𝐈𝐅𝐄𝐑   ╱   𝐇𝐂.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        THE   HALF  -  GOD   RABBIT  ;   BUCKSHOT  IN  TWO  LEGS  &.  PRAYING  MERCY      |     𝐉𝐀𝐗  ╱   𝐈𝐂.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        LIKE   DIVINE   ABSOLUTION   /   HE   LICKS   BLOOD   OFF   HIS   FINGERS     |     𝐉𝐀𝐗  ╱   𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        THE  HEART  IS  A  FIST  THAT  PICKPOCKETS  RAGE     |     𝐉𝐀𝐗  ╱   𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        YOU WERE KIND. I WAS CRUEL. IN ANOTHER LIFE MAYBE I WAS YOU.     |     𝐉𝐀𝐗  ╱   𝐇𝐂.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        GIVE   HUMANITY   TO   THE   MACHINE   &.   GIVE  BLOOD  TO  THE  CODE     |     𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄  ╱   𝐈𝐂.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        AND   AREN’T   ALL   MACHINES   JUST   GHOSTS?     |     𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄  ╱   𝐒𝐓𝐔𝐃𝐘.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        LIKE   A   SHADOW   /   I   BOTH   AM   AND   AM   NOT     |     𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄  ╱   𝐕𝐈𝐒𝐀𝐆𝐄.

 " † . ༝˚       ╱        BECOME   QUIETLY   DEVOURED   /   OUTDO   THE   CREATION     |     𝐂𝐀𝐈𝐍𝐄  ╱   𝐇𝐂.

‘ †  ༝˚ ˑ   ﹠     NOT  A  CREATURE  THAT  WAS  BORN  /  A  FIRE  THAT  WAS  SET     |     𝐎𝐎𝐂.

‘ †  ༝˚ ˑ   ﹠     WHETHER  YOU  COME  AS  LOVER  OR  EXECUTIONER  /  I  RECIEVE  YOU     |     𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐎.

‘ †  ༝˚ ˑ   ﹠     ONLY  ME  DO  I  THREATEN  /  ONLY  ME  DO  I  KILL.     |     𝐀𝐍𝐒𝐖𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐃.

‘ †  ༝˚ ˑ   ﹠     THOSE  WHO  FALTER  &.  THOSE  WHO  FALL  /  MUST  PAY  THE  PRICE     |     𝐏𝐑𝐎𝐌𝐏𝐓𝐒.

‘ †  ༝˚ ˑ   ﹠     YOU  FALL  AS  AN  EVENING  STAR     |     𝐃𝐀𝐒𝐇 𝐆𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐒.

[cupophrogs]

A sneak peak of the wives (@evillillad) hehe

[grimgrinninggoth]

Hatchetbox my beloveds they could never make me hate u 🪓🎩

I am hella indecisive on how I choose to go about drawing Connie’s hair but this time I somehow landed on a 1960s beehive