#two gay idiots (lovingly )

[buster-loves-pr]

I remember Kendall’s actor telling me that a lot of people say to her that character was too mean to the other rangers

Have they seen what she’s dealing with it.

[starlightseraph]

i love both of the two main paths of hilson headcanons; that house and wilson have been involved at various points and that they only got together after the end of canon. but i also think that these each have their own hilarious implications.

if things of a specific sort have happened between them before the show or at any point during, that means that every time wilson freaked over someone saying anything that could be interpreted as gay, house was watching like “dude wtf you literally [redacted] me last night.” hence why house is constantly playing up all the assumptions and jokes. it’s half deflection, half desperation.

if it only happened post-canon, then i fully believe that wilson just flat-out had no clue that he’s been gay pining over house for 20 years. house, having been fully aware of his own bisexuality and wilson’s denial, nearly throws a party. and wilson is like “wait, you were serious this entire time?!??? 😱” and house is so lovingly fed up with that he can’t even make any snarky remarks.

either way, upon them actually really being together, i think the reaction from literally anyone that knows them would be “fucking finally you idiots”

[hp-hcs]

yanxidarlings here~ literally screamed when i saw you followed me because your writings were the direct inspiration for my latest post 💖 but im curious to see your take on yandere! poly! mattheo and theodore with m! reader or just more poly headcanons because i am never. going. to. get. enough. of. them

OH MY FUCKING GOD UR KIDDING I WAS THE ANON WHO REQUESTED UR LATEST POST

IM FEELING STARSTRUCK RN 🙇‍♂️👑

requests open, please dear god

Yk, reader is (lovingly) so fucking oblivious

Like, his friends will be like “hey you’re getting pretty close with like, the two most obsessive and violent guys at this school aha”

And reader will be like “lol they’re so silly goofy aren’t they 😌”

Inspired purely by your “you know people think we're gay and dating, right?” “aren't we?” I present:

“you know people think we’re gay and dating, right?” “aren’t we?” — yandere! mattheo riddle x oblivious! male! reader x yandere! theodore nott

completely unedited cause i gotta sprint to my lecture broski

TWs: possessive/obsessive behavior, brief mentions of violence, one instance of slut-shaming (?)

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Honestly, you thought nothing of it when you were informed that due to “space issues” you were being moved to room with The Theos™. You just shrugged and followed the very anxious house-elf who had informed you of the switch to your new room.

Your trunk and belongings were there already, waiting to be set up and organized. Mattheo and Theo were hovering in the doorway looking a bit too pleased with the situation for comfort.

You just quietly said “hi” and moved past them, dumping your school bag on your new bed and flopping down next to it.

Theo and Mattheo practically trip over themselves rushing to “befriend” you. (Their words, not mine)

You all share a dorm, so it wasn’t long before they realized the other was obsessed with you.

Then, it’s all out war.

I’m talking mysterious falls down the moving stairs, getting locked out of the dorm all night, randomly being chased by bludgers—even when they aren’t playing.

Random fistfights between them whenever they see each other in the halls.

That all goes out the window, though, when reader is asked out.

Reader comes back to his dorm after a long day and finds The Theos sitting side-by-side on the edge of the his bed.

“When were you going to tell us that you became the class whore?” Mattheo drawled, his lips thinning in disapproval and disgust.

“W-what?” You ask, completely taken aback.

“We heard that little Y/N L/N’s got himself a date to the Yule Ball,” Theodore adds. “Who is it? That Parkinson girl? The Diggory boy?”

“Wh- no. I said no anyways.”

The boys scrutinize you, exuding an air of judgement.

Finally, Theodore pipes up. “Good boy.”

😳

“Aww, what’s this? Look, Riddle. Y/N’s blushing,” Theodore teases.

They make a quick mental note of that 📝

Anyways, they eventually find out who asked you out. They call a ceasefire on their own personal war, and team up to beat the shit out of the poor guy/girl.

After that, babycakes, if they didn’t already know before, everyone at Hogwarts now knows that you are TAKEN. (Even though you don’t.)

They tolerate each other, but just barely. They can really only stand each other when you three all curl up in one of your beds or on the common room couch.

Then, they’re the clingiest mfs you’ve ever met.

They have absolutely no sense of a personal space bubble. One of them is always touching you in some way, whether it be holding your hand, resting a hand on your hip or shoulder, putting their hand on your lower back…

Theodore charmed your chair in History of Magic to be impossible to move, so you can’t scoot away from him.

If you’re relaxing on the couch in the common room, Mattheo will move to sit right next to you (like r i g h t next to you) and put your legs in his lap. He tried once before to get you to just sit in his lap, but you told him no (like an idiot) and avoided him for the rest of the day. That is, until you woke up to him in your bed next to you.

Homeboy was not happy about that.

He is manipulative as fuck and will gaslight you to no end. He uses his shitty childhood and bad father to get you to pity him.

(It works.)

It’s obviously disconcerting for you when your boyos go from ‘actively out for each other’s blood’ to ‘eh, you’re fine, i guess’

You guys were watching a movie in your dorm one night, all piled onto your bed, and they accidentally fell asleep there. They woke to you already gone for breakfast and them with their arms around each other.

“If you ever bring this up again, I’ll kill you.”

“Oh, believe me, they’d never find your body.”

They become way more open about their attraction to you, everything from kissing your cheek, to making you wear their clothes (esp their jerseys with their last name on them), to asking you your ring size.

I completely agree with your headcanon of Mattheo neck kisses 😩🤌

Eventually though, because you are an oblivious gay disaster, you’re just chilling on the couch and you’re like “Hey guys, you know everyone thinks we’re gay right? And like, all dating each other?”

“What, like we aren’t?”

y/n: 😳🤨☺️🏳️‍🌈👨‍❤️‍💋‍👨

[xxx-angie]

adamsapple incorrect quotes (featuring angel dust)

@rius-cave

--- Adam, talking about Lucifer: WHAT THE FUCK I WAS ARGUING WITH THEM AND I SAID “OOH YOU WANNA KISS ME SO BAD” AND GUESS WHAT? THEY DID. THEY KISSED ME. WHAT THE FUCK WHAT DO I DO. --- Adam: My future partner must be brave, strong, intelligent, successful and organized. Lucifer: steps on a caterpillar and proceeds to drop to their knees and sob while apologizing profusely Adam: That one. I want that one. --- Adam: I truly go into housewife mode when I'm someone's soulmate- like, I'll make you pancakes and bacon every morning. Lucifer: This is a lie. Lucifer: I'm literally dating them. This is a lie. Lucifer: THEY DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO COOK A PANCAKE, WHAT IS THIS. --- Angel, watching Lucifer and Adam from afar: Two Bros, Chillin in a hot tub. Five feet apart because they think they’re not gay, BUT THEY REALLY ARE- --- Angel: So, how long have you and Lucifer been together? Adam: No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Lucifer and I are not together. No. No. Angel: Really? Sixteen ‘nos’? Really? --- Lucifer: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out! Adam: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way? Lucifer: I don't know, surprise me! --- Lucifer: I can't take this anymore, someone needs to take me out! Adam: In a dating type of way, or an assassination type of way? Lucifer: I don't know, surprise me! --- Adam: BE A BETTER PERSON! Lucifer: WHY?! Adam: BECAUSE SOMEONE NEEDS TO HAVE MORALS IN THIS RELATIONSHIP, AND IT SURE AS FUCK AIN'T GONNA BE ME, SWEETHEART! --- Lucifer, throwing their head into Adam's lap: Tell me I'm pretty! Adam, lovingly stroking their hair: You're pretty fucking annoying, that's what you are. --- Lucifer: I think we should kiss. Adam: And I think you should die but we don’t always get what we want. --- Adam: Lucifer and I are no longer dating. Lucifer: Adam, that’s a horrible way of telling people we’re married. --- Lucifer: Holding up a pack of pencils These are kinda cute. Adam: Lucifer, that’s gay. Lucifer: We’ve been dating for 2 years— --- Adam: We have a problem. Lucifer: No, YOU have a problem. I have an idiot who keeps making them. --- Lucifer: You have to apologize to them Adam. Adam: Fine! But I must warn you that this might make me a better, nicer person and that is NOT the person you fell in love with! --- Lucifer: Are you an F5 key? Because that ass is refreshing. Adam: Are you a software update? because not right now. --- Adam: How do I tell Lucifer that I want them to yell at me like they're Gordon Ramsay and I'm a poor little chef who just ruined a crème brûlée?

[blueskiesrry]

snippet time!!

@babyhoneyheslt tagged me to post a snippet so here's the debut of what has been lovingly referred to as abe lincoln au (it's uh complicated?). anyway, enjoy my lovely idiots

Louis gets Harry settled in the bath, bubbles littering the surface with lavender and eucalyptus filling the bathroom in a haze. Harry wonders briefly where Louis would’ve gotten bath supplies. Once Harry has let his eyes slip shut again in the midst of the warm water, Louis slips out of the room, returning not long later with a stool and a book. “What are you doing?” Harry asks, head tilting lazily to the side. Sitting down on the stool with a shrug, Louis says, “Thought I’d read to you.” Harry can’t make out what the book is, eyes too heavy, head still sitting in a lingering fog from his orgasm, from being so utterly consumed by Louis. Huffing a soft laugh, he lets his head loll back against the wall. “Lincoln was largely self-educated. His schooling mostly came from traveling school teachers and included two stints in Kentucky where he first learned to read—” “What is that?” Harry’s eyes pop open. He cranes his neck, attempting to peer at the book. Giving him a disapproving look, Louis shields the pages from view. “A biography on Lincoln.” He shrugs. “Lincoln only attended school sporadically after his family’s move to Indiana due to—” “Why?” Louis looks at him with saturated eyes, a soft frown painting his lips. He breaks their stare, his thumb fidgeting with the corner of the page. Shoulders dipping forward, he appears suddenly self-conscious. “I don’t know. I bought it after we talked about him that one time. Thought it’d be interesting.” Searching Louis’ features, Harry bites his lip to keep it from wobbling. He feels overcome with emotion, with the need to pull Louis as close as possible, but he swallows it down. “Well—” he takes a deep breath— “well does it say he was gay?” He sinks further into the bath, his chin dipping into the bubbles while he hides a secret grin. A slow smile spreads across Louis’ face when he peers at him again. “When did he meet… what’s his name?” “Joshua Speed,” Harry murmurs softly. “Yeah.” Louis flips through the pages of his book

i will taaaag @harruandlou @petitommo and @larry-hiatus (no pressure ofc) <3

[areyoudoingthis]

I'm a die-hard Destiel and Castiel stan who loved Cas's confession and Izzy's deathbed (death...Ed's lap? deck? stolen uniform coat?) apology. I am also dying at the thought of comparing Izzy's death to what happened to Cas. Where on earth are people getting that idiotic take from? 🤣 One was a beautiful and touching death. One was bury your gay angel two seconds after finally being allowed to admit he's in love. 🎶One of these things is not like the other!🎶

alas the deranged part of the izzy fans have been harassing david jenkins on twitter all day screaming that izzy's death was bury your gays because they have 0 media literacy and have been watching a show they made up in their heads the whole time

izzy did not get sent to turbo hell for being queer he got to enjoy the love of the queer community for a while before he died surrounded by people who cared about him and was lovingly buried in ed and stede's front yard, where buttons is now keeping him company. as a supernatural survivor this comparison is insane to me too ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

[firstprince-ao3feed]

My world

My world https://ift.tt/16RO7Iw by aRandomDutchGirl Alex and Henry's life as a married couple with two adopted children. This fic starts with Alex getting a phone call while driving their kids home. Apperently Henry was brought to the hospital with an ambulance because he had an allergy attack, *** Henry cups his face and Alex realizes he's crying. That was certainly not Alex's intention. "Alex, love of my life. You beautiful fool. You bloody fucking idiot. What on earth posessed you to think *my world* does not include my bloody husband? Don't get me wrong Alex. Our children mean everything to me. But so do you. So when i tell you to *DRIVE SAFE because my world is in that car*, i don't mean, drive safe until you've dropped of our kids. I mean, drive save until you stop driving. You menace." Alex brushes his tears away. "Sorry baby; i promise it won't happen again.' Henry nods. "Good because i know you'd never endanger our kids. I just wish you were just as carefull with your own life.' Alex rolls his eyes lovingly. "Says the men who is currently lying in a hospital bed, because he ate a kiwi cupcake, while being lethally allergic." Henry laughs. "Well in my defense who puts bloody kiwi in a cupcake?" Words: 5946, Chapters: 1/8, Language: English Series: Part 5 of RWRB: Alex has adhd (comfort) fics Fandoms: Red White & Royal Blue - Casey McQuiston, Red White & Royal Blue (2023) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Categories: M/M Characters: Alex Claremont-Diaz, Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Nora Holleran, Percy "Pez" Okonjo, June Claremont-Diaz, Original Child Character(s), Original Female Character(s) Relationships: Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - Non-Famous, Kid Fic, Married Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor, Same-Sex Marriage, Married Life, Loving Marriage, Tooth-Rotting Fluff, Family Fluff, Black Character(s), Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Near Death Experiences, Hospitals, Both only in the first Chapter, Protective Siblings, Gay Parents, Protective Parents, food allergies, Gentle Parenting, Adopted Children, Adopted Sibling Relationship, Lawyer Alex Claremont-Diaz, Alex Claremont-Diaz Has ADHD, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, I wrote this on a plane via AO3 works tagged 'Alex Claremont-Diaz/Henry Fox-Mountchristen-Windsor' https://ift.tt/CZ41DLc August 16, 2023 at 04:13PM

[insertsickusername13]

What if- richjake with wings

warning: the wings are metaphorical. I'm so sorry.

word count: 1850

---

In Freshman year, when Rich had been a background character even in his own mind, a conglomeration of flaws and insecurities so pitiful even he couldn't find any interest in himself, Jake Dillinger had been someone to idolize. He walked confidently, he spoke confidently. When he sauntered into a room with that idiotic politician smile on his face (the one that pleased everyone, that had even the strictest teacher bending the rules), it wasn't that the room lit up – it was that Jake glowed, and everyone else basked in his light. 

An angel. That was the only way to describe him. 

It was a common comparison. Rich heard it murmured in hallways and saw it when Jake put on tiny fake wings and wore a headband with a golden halo for Halloween. Jake Dillinger was an angel because he was confident, he was perfect, and he was everything Rich wasn't. 

During the SQUIP, when Rich got to know the real Jake and he became a human to be loved rather than a religion in and of himself, he discovered that Jake was an angel all over again. 

It was midnight, maybe a bit later, and the two of them were doing the stupidest shit they could think of. Rich was in Jake's driveway trying to figure out a new trick on his skateboard while Jake stood at the edge of his roof, shooting his basketball in the dark. On only his third try the ball made it into the basket and Rich let out a string of curses so vulgar they had Jake laughing so hard he had to grab his windowsill to stop himself from falling off the roof. 

"Only you, Jacob. Only you can shoot a fucking basketball from your roof, in the dark, and make it in. Fuck you. You're too perfect."

When he looked up at Jake's sillhouette, he was curled in on himself sheepishly. 

"Shut up," he said, his blush audible, "You're perfect too, y'know."

Rich scoffed at that. He was drunk, the SQUIP deactivated and useless. In this state, without it in his head to tell him how to talk and act, he was hardly perfect. Far from it.

Still, Jake somehow materialized beside Rich and poked at his cheeks lovingly.

"Especially that cute little lisp of yours," he teased, taking the basketball from the driveway and putting it back in the garage. Rich felt himself blush against both his own will and the lingering will of the SQUIP. Cute. His lisp. Something the SQUIP hated. Something that was really his. 

Jake Dillinger was an angel because he made Rich feel good about the real him. 

There were countless times Rich wished he could do the same for Jake. Compliments and affection burrowed themselves in his mind, forced into the dirt by the SQUIP. 

You can't say that, that's gay. 

Do you want him to hate you?

Shut up, Richard. 

Don't say that.

So Rich didn't say a word of praise unless it was hidden under six different layers of sarcasm. Jake seemed to understand most of the time. Still, there were times he didn't. 

Jake was missing from lunch. No one else seemed to mind much. Chloe seemed happy, in fact, choosing to sit next to Brooke and spend the entire time talking to her rather than Jake. The other boys — nameless blurs compared to Jake—carried on conversation as they usually would. The SQUIP spoke as Rich's mind wandered and worried, playing every worst case scenario until he couldn't stand to sit still anymore. Ignoring the protests from the SQUIP and the rapid succession of shocks at the base of his spine, Rich excused himself from the lunch room and searched half the school before finding Jake standing in front of his locker, forehead pressed against the cold metal, arms wrapped protectively around himself. 

His shoulders were shaking. Rich chose to describe it as merely that because if he didn't then he'd have to say the word crying and he never wanted that word to be associated with Jake.

"Hey, dickhead, where the fuck were you?"

Jake turned, still leaning against the locker, just enough so Rich could see his bloodshot, glassy eyes. After just a millisecond of eye contact, during which Jake appeared so exhausted he didn't seem to know what to do, Jake straightened himself out and quickly wiped his eyes. Within a moment, he was smiling. 

"Didn't want to deal with your annoying ass for a full half hour," he said, already messing with the combination to his locker. Trying to make it look like he was there for a reason other than crying, Rich thought. Fuck. 

Don't say that, don't say that, don't—

Jaw clenched with the effort it took to speak against the SQUIP's will, Rich managed, "Are you okay?"

Jake froze. Then, slowly, he nodded. 

"Yeah," he replied, tone too short and voice too deep, "Yeah, I've just got like—like AP tests are coming up and shit and I'm just stressed as fuck. I've got like four to take this year and it's driving me crazy."

The SQUIP scoffed and said, "Fucking try-hard."

Jake's fake smile faltered. It was the SQUIP rather than Rich who noted that Jake was shaking out his hands at his sides and shifting from foot to foot. His lips were trembling and fuck, no, Jake, I didn't say that, it wasn't me, I'm—

"I'm trying so fucking hard, Rich. Social services won't leave me alone and I just—” he took a shaky breath and stared blankly at the empty space behind Rich, his expression the embodiment of crumbling ruins; ashes; the gray snow that came at the end of the year while spring melted it away. “–I really need to pass these stupid tests to show them I'm fine on my own. I can do this by myself. I can, okay? I–I really can."

Was he asking Rich for confirmation? Of course Jake could do whatever he wanted to. He was perfect.

Don't say that, don't say that, leave this alone, Richard. Leave it alone. 

Taking Jake's hand in his own and running his thumb over the joints of Jake's fingers (a useless form of comfort, what did that do to fix anything? Still, Jake fell, practically plummeted, into the touch), Rich said, "Why are social services on your back?"

Jake shrugged helplessly and, though he sounded like he was on the verge of crying again, laughed. It was short; scared.

"My parents got in some legal trouble. It was between freedom and their son, so. Easy decision, I guess. Up and left last month. Haven't heard from them since."

What?

What the fuck?

No.

At first, the words were easy to hear. Rich had grown accustomed to the SQUIP in his mind. He didn't need to understand and register every word his friends said because the SQUIP would pick it up no matter what and respond correctly. So Rich heard Jake talking, but it wasn't until a moment later, when the SQUIP was trying to say fuck yeah, you have the house to yourself all the time? Bro, imagine the fucking ragers we can throw! that Rich actually understood the words.

"What?" he said, not because it was the right thing to say (as the SQUIP constantly reminded him, Rich never knew the right thing to say), but because he knew it had to be better than talk of parties and shit. No matter what everyone said or what the SQUIP claimed, Jake was more than the 'ragers' he threw and his self-destructive tendency to try and meet every expectation put upon him.

"Yeah. I don't even fucking - fuck-" one hand still holding Rich's, he pressed the heel of his free hand against his temple, both to hide the tears threatening to fall at merely a blink and to assuage his growing headache (he's reacting negatively to light, the SQUIP noted, and the bags under his eyes suggest he hasn't been sleeping well). “–I don't even know, I don't miss them, but now I've got all these people watching me constantly, and I just can't–I can't–"

He didn't even hug Rich, just collapsed forward onto him. There was nothing left in him—no fight, no vigor or joy. The SQUIP scoffed, and for the first time since letting it into his mind, Rich felt genuine anger toward it. How could he? Jake was crying, a morbid sight Rich had never seen and prayed he would never see again, and somehow the SQUIP was amused?

Without considering the consequences (which would surely be painful—electric shocks, leaving him to deal with his dad alone, an itemized list of all the things wrong with him), Rich shoved the SQUIP into some useless sector of his brain where it could no longer take control of his speech or actions. Almost a year of having it in his head had taught him a few tricks.

"Hey," Rich whispered, letting go of Jake's hand only so he could wrap his arms over his shoulders and around his neck. Though Jake felt metaphorically small, with his desperate, childish hold on Rich's shirt and the tiny sobs he was trying to suppress, he was still over half a foot taller than Rich and despite the fact Jake was already leaning down, Rich had to get on his tippy toes just to pull Jake down further into the hug. 

"I'm sorry," Rich said, "Jakey, I'm really, really sorry."

Jake shook his head and nuzzled further into Rich's neck. It hurt just to see him like this and hurt even more to feel it in the shaking of his hands and knees, in the tears wetting Rich's shirt. 

"It's okay," Jake whispered, "It's fine, I'm fine, I just–I gotta–” He never finished, too much of him dedicated to not breaking down to be able to summon words.

Rich didn't need him to speak. He'd been friends with Jake long enough to know exactly what he wanted to say.

Jake Dillinger was an angel because, despite fate twisting and breaking to hurt him, he was still fucking trying. 

How fate could look at a boy like Jake and decide he deserved this, why it hadn't bent the rules just to make the path Jake walked safe, Rich didn't know. 

Until, of course, he was drunk and the SQUIP was still screaming and clawing at the tissue in his brain. Until it was dark and hazy, with music and pounding beats echoing in his bones and the match in his hand. Until there were flames and Rich thought there was no chance of survival. That he was going to die and fall straight to hell because he wasn't Jake Dillinger; he wasn't holy. 

He didn't remember Halloween. Whether it was his own survival instincts or the SQUIP that erased every moment from his mind, he had no way of knowing. He only saw the aftermath—the ashes of Jake's trust, the blisters on Rich's skin, the casts and the crutches that Jake cursed and scorned. 

Jake Dillinger was not an angel. If he were, he wouldn't have fallen. 

Because angels have wings.

[ashboy-3]

You Want to Fake date me? I thought we Were Dating Already

Written for DabiHawks week 2023 Day 5 Prompt: Fake dating Fandom: MHA, BNHA Characters: Dabi, Hawks, Todoroki Family Words: 1202 Summary: Dabi needs a way to piss off his father at a family diner, what better way than to announce his boyfriend he got at college. . .why didn't anyone tell him Shoto had come out first.

“You want me to fake date you in hopes that your father will never want to talk to you again?” Keigo Takami asked his college roommate, an unbelievable expression on his face.

“Well, why not?” Dabi asked, a look of confusion on his face.

“How do you know this will even work?”

“Cause he hates me and everything I do but my sister has this dream of us being a ‘happy’ family. I’m thinking if I can disappoint him enough with my gay ass he will drop me and forget I exist.”

“You are just full of Daddy issues aren’t you,” Keigo rolled his eyes.

“Oh like you’re one to talk,” Dabi snapped, making the blonde laugh.

“What’s in it for me?” Keigo asked, crossing his arms.

“I’ll suck your dick whenever you want for a month?” Dabi tried.

“Really? You do that if I ask you to already.”

“You get a free trip to the beach?” Dabi smiled.

“Fine I’ll take both,” Keigo smiled, he knows he could have made Dabi work harder for it, but he couldn’t say no to his tattooed roommate, it’s a problem that has been brought up to him multiple times.

This leads to a week later, the two are free for spring break flying out to Dabi’s hometown.

“Touya welcome home!” a woman, smaller than him with white hair that had little red flecks in it smiled, hugging him.

“It’s Dabi,” Touya rolled his eyes, but still hugged her back, it made Keigo smile seeing his angsty roommate act like he has a heart.

“And who is this?” she let go of the hug, holding her hand out to him.

“Keigo Takami,” Keigo smiled, taking the hand.

“Fuyumi, Touya’s younger sister.

“This is my boyfriend,” Dabi smirked proudly.

“You sure? Because the smirk says it’s another ploy to get the old man pissed at you,” a white-haired guy said, joining the conversation.

“Touya! Don’t tell me Natsuo’s right?”

“Sorry sis. Kei this is my younger brother Natsuo. Not to brag but I’m kind of the oldest,” Dabi beamed.

“Doesn’t mean he’s smart,” the final Todoroki sibling deadpanned, not staying to chat, just to throw in his two cents.

“That’s Shoto. He’s still in high school,” Fuyumi informed him as she made everyone move inside.

“So when will dear old dad be here?” Dabi asked, sitting on the couch.

“He’ll be here for dinner. He’s excited you decided to show up,” Fuyumi beamed clapping her hands. Dabi scoffed, putting his arm over Keigo’s shoulder, admitting making the blonde blush.

“So how did you two meet?” Fuyumi asked.

“Oh he’s my roommate,” Dabi said.

“You got your roommate to play your fake boyfriend,” Natsuo laughed.

“Hey, we can so pass for a real couple!” Dabi yelled back.

“Touya you are so fucking stupid,” Fuyumi said as his siblings died into arguing, Keigo laughing at seeing him be carefree. As long as he ignores the pain in his chest he’ll be fine.

“Well, dinner will be ready soon if you want to make your way to the dining room. I’ll let Sho know,” Fuyumi stood up.

“I actually need to run to the restroom,” Keigo said.

“First door on the right,” Dani tilted his head.

“You can do this Kei! Your roommate is just an idiot. It’s one dinner and then you don’t have to do it ever again,” Keigo splashed some water on his face, anything to make the feelings go away. Dabi was too dumb to catch on to what was going on inside his stupid head. 

“He’s so smart but so lovingly dumb,” Keigo sighed, washing his hands and exiting the small room only to be surprised by the youngest sibling.

“Are you really dating Touya?” Shoto asked, walking with him to the dining room.

“Yeah kid we are,” Keigo smiled.

“Don’t lie for Touya. You’ll get hurt. He’s too much of an idiot to realize what’s right in front of him,” Shoto rolled his eyes, leaving his side as they entered the dining room.

“So Enji, meet my boyfriend Keigo Takaimi,” Dabi introduced him as he sat down for dinner.

“It is nice to meet you Keigo,” Enji tried to give a welcoming smile, but it honestly just creeped him out.

“Oh uh, yeah nice to meet you too,” Hawks said, sitting down.

“Izuku’s going to be picking me up after school tomorrow,” Shoto said, calmly eating his food.

“That’s nice. He’s a good kid,” Enji smiled and Dabi was shocked at how accepting his father was.

“Now might be a bad time, but Shoto has been dating this Izuku kid for like three months now and told Dad instantly in a way to get him to leave him alone,” Natsuo whispered to his older brother, an evil smirk on his face.

“All my good laid plains to ruin,” Dabi huffed, eating his food.

“Can I ask you a question Keigo?” Enji said, fully ignoring his children with well ease practice.

“You already did but go off,” Keigo shrugged.

“I am trying to be a better father and was wondering if you really cared for my eldest child?” Enji asked, causing a hush to fall over the table.

“I have never met someone who brought more joy in my life. He keeps things exciting. He understand me and where I grew up it was hard to find someone like him. He willingly chooses to move off campus with me. He understands when I’m having my bad days. He will skip class for me and I’ve never had anyone in my life who cared about me as much as he does. He’s helped me more than I ever thought I deserved,” Keigo smiled as a realization hit Dabi square in the chest.

Realizing he might have said too much Keigo quickly stands up asking to be excused, before walking out of the house to the yard.

“Stupid idiot! Why would you say that? Rumi was right you are a true dumbass!” Keigo yelled at himself.

“Did you mean what you said?” Dabi asked, scaring the shit out of Keigo.

“What? Oh yeah no of course I didn’t! You wanted it to be real didn’t you?” Keigo asked as Dabi walked closer.

“Don’t fuck with me Kei! I’ve seen you act and your shit at it! I’ve never seen you like this before!” Dabi yelled back as Keigo looked at him in shock.

“What does it matter if I meant it? You don’t feel the same way. I am happy to just go along as we have been. I can live with just touches as long as it’s you,” Keigo smiled at the tattooed man.

“You dumbass. You can never just accept the fact that someone may like you,” Dabi rolled his eyes pulling the blonde in closer and kissing him.

It was better than the late night the two have had, rolling around in the sheets, better than the looks they would give each other when the other wasn’t looking. It was better than anything in the world because Keigo knows it comes from a place of love.

“Bout time he stopped being an idiot,” Shoto rolled his eyes as the siblings cheered for them.

[frogmanfae]

Newsies as shit that happened at band camp part 5

Race: Hi sir limps a lot!

Finch: He looks sad...

Race: Limpy are you okay? :(

Crutchie: It's 8 in the goddamn morning why am I awake

Race: *already walking up to the field for pictures* Oooohh someone's late!

Davey: *panicking* Shut the fuck up!

Jack: My mom got a button for my grandma

Crutchie: ... Life alert??

Jack: What?? No?? *pointing to a picture order form* Like a button with my band picture on it??

Davey: I think it's nice we tolerate each other's hyperfixations even if we don't technically understand them

Jack: Well I think it's pretty different. Mine is silly cowboys, yours is how likely the human race is to survive an apocalypse and how the world is inevitably going to end at some point

Davey: Yeah mine is a little more existential

Jack: Sometimes I can't manage it but that's only when I'm having a breakdown

Davey: Yeah which is only once... Twice a month

Jack: >:0

Albert: Blink said his back hurt so Mush gave him a massage because his dad is a chiropractor

Elmer: That's a weird cover up to their homoerotic relationship

Albert: Mush's dad will touch you in places you've never been touched before-

Mush: PLEASE STOP

Sarah: FUCK THE CHINESE GOVERNMENT IS GOING TO FIND OUT I'M GAY BECAUSE OF TIKTOK

Davey: DAMNIT EVERYONE IN THIS ROOM IS DOOMED

Denton: Okay I have mallets, snare sticks, a harness screw, and two new drum keys for you guys

Albert: *sticking his hand through a crack in his drum head* ... So no head?

Buttons: *asleep on the floor somehow while the band plays*

Albert: *falls on top of a drum that was on a stand, causing the drums on either side to also fall*

Denton: Is... Is everything okay back there? Can we...? What's happening? Can we help him? Don't all move at once. What...??

Davey: *puts on his drum just as they're starting to run the halftime show*

Spot: Where the hell is my- YOU'RE WEARING MY DRUM!

Davey: OH SHIT!

Davey and Spot: *has to run out onto the field with the wrong drums*

Spot: SWITCH! FUCKING SWITCH ME!

Davey and Spot: *ultra speed drum switch just before the starting whistle*

(I can't properly explain how fucking funny this was)

Denton: Sizzle it with the same intensity as you play it

Elmer: What does a horse say when he falls over? Help! I can't giddy up

Buttons: *lovingly* you're a fucking idiot

Medda: Some of you are still popping instead of locking

Jack: Someone stop me before I throw something at Morris Delancey.

Race: What's he doing?

Jack: Nothing in particular, he's just irritating. Maybe I'm a bad person.

Spot: Okay drumline! Breathe in!....and out! Deep breath in again!...and out! Okay. This is the last time we're gonna do this-

Davey: This is literally band camp we have the entire season-

Spot: Okay so it's the last time we'll do this before it's real-

Albert: We'll probably do it tomorrow

Spot: Okay so we'll do it tomorrow and then-

Davey: And we'll probably play once school starts too. Like every day in class and then after school rehearsals-

Spot: Okay so-

Albert: So if we fuck it up we'll just do it tomorrow-

Spot: No!!! If anyone messes up they're fucked! Snares get those accents! If I hear you not playing the accents, your sticks are going into those woods right there!

Race: *mockingly pretending to cry behind Spot the entire speech*

Albert: Facts!

Race: What did you just say?

Albert: Fa- :0

Albert: *whispering* fags!

Denton: Okay, yep, everyone stop and look at the plane. There we go. We can wave to it if we want.

Literally everyone: *aggressive waving at the plane*

Denton: We're gonna roll with it....Roll /step/ with it

Tommy Boy: AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHHAHA *sudden blank face of unamusement*

[neko-naruto]

We'll just go to the Pokemon center

Summary: Being unaware of what your local Pokemon center is like can be life and death situation, or, in this case, a getting pelted by golf ball sized hail or not getting pelted by golf ball sized hail situation

Warnings: None.

Authors Notes: Started playing Violet, and I'm sitting there, going what the fuck is this shit? In reference to the Pokemon Booths, as my family has lovingly dubbed the new Pokemon Center, and I decided that I should write gay fanfic about it, and @sobredunia, I'm tagging you because of tradition around gay Pokemon fic, once again, I take reblogs as a form of currency over likes.

Time seemed to move faster in the Paldea region, and neither champion was ready for that.

The two had simply spent the entirety of the day out catching new Pokemon and teaching other trainers how to properly challenge someone. They had to explain that sitting there and waiting for someone to engage a fight would get them nowhere, and that eye contact was a silent oath for battle. The next minute, it was dark out, and rain was starting to come trickling down on their heads, neither of them bought a raincoat, and the rest of their gear was at the hotel in the next town over.

Water started to pour down on them faster, bit by bit, slowly picking up quantity and panic slowly started to show on their faces. Red was first to move, frantically glancing about for civilization, and yes! Yes! Salvation, sweet salvation, a town! Within walking distance of their current location, his grip on Blues wrist was a vice before he started to drag along his friend. He got no objections as they meandered hastily to the nearest town, only to scramble for cover because raindrops were turning to hail that slowly got larger as minutes passed.

The glow of the Pokemon Center and they both knew that salvation was near, euphoria rushed through their veins at the idea of not getting battered by golf ball sized hail.

But as that glow of red edged closer and closer they realized that Pokemon Centers in Paldea aren't the same as any others they've encountered. No book rack, no seating, no walls, no roof, everything they had come to associate with Pokemon Centers isn't in this caricature of something so important to a journey. Sure, there was a machine (The boxes maybe?), and nurse Joy, a guy who was probably selling stuff was also there. It wasn't the same though, it held some of the elements needed, but it still didn't have anywhere for lost trainers to avoid the elements, or a wall to sleep against, it was different.

A large chunk of hail smacking into the back of Blues head broke him from thought and he was quick to drag along Red who was just a bit weirded out at the sight of the Pokemon Center. The ground below their feet was slippery and Blue nearly bailed multiple times, Red hoisting him back up every single time it happened. They ended up with arms around each others shoulders, body temperature the only heat they held as Blues vest was getting torn by the ice balls and Reds much more sensible jacket was soaked by the previous rain.

Blue practically threw Red to the ground, the pavement was dry, dryer than the ground they were just hobbling across, Blue was quick to join him on the ground.

"Dude, we aren't kids anymore, I think I heard something crack," Red said, he was rubbing his shoulder as it had hit the wall, they were merely in their early thirties, but he recently started feeling the waiting aftershock of three years of undernourishment on Mount Silver, he didn't notice it until a doctor said it was happening, a placebo effect of sorts.

"Oh shut the fuck up, you remembered to bring a rubbing cream for it, right?" Blue asked, silence followed his question and he sighed, what an idiot his friend was.

"No," Red answered with quietly, pulling off his jacket to check for signs of bruising, nothing much, he gave a sigh of relief as he rested the hood over his cap, curling his arms around drawn up knees.

"Lucky you I remembered to bring some, dumbass," Blue muttered the last bit, but the relief on Reds face was monumental, "how far away is our hotel?"

"A days walk, give or take," Red answered with, reaching into his pocket and pulling out three of his Pokemon, glancing through semi translucent red and realizing he forgot Charizard and Butterfree, his two Pokemon that could provide any coverage, "Please tell me you brought any of your bird legion?"

"Of course I did, but I'll have you know that I refuse to let any of them get pelted by golf ball sized hail," Blue said, very, very fast to defend his flying friends, he had become obsessed with them since Kanto, how could such a heavy body be hoisted by such fragile wings? It had his scientist mind perplexed and obsessed and he didn't spend a day without investigating winged Pokemon, Reds Charizard has become a common test subject.

"Even Pidgeot?" Red asked hopefully, the glare he got spoke volumes.

"Especially not Pidgeot, he has been at my side for over twenty years and you dare suggest I put him through golf ball sized hail?" Blue questioned, his tone was a statement and his gaze a demand that Red could choose to ignore, but he had a very good idea of how Blue would react if he answered wrong.

"Right," Red sighed out, he was shivering a bit, Blue leaned into him, grasping his torso and nuzzling into the slightest bit of warmth he could get.

A comfortable silence washed over the two, Blue was even getting close to conking out right then and there.

"Um, do you two have anywhere to stay tonight?" Came a voice that had Blue shouting a profanity or two out of shock as he snapped up, only to be greeted with the worried face on the nurse.

"Nope, to far away in this weather," Blue said, vaguely gesturing to the chunks of hail shattering as they hit the ground.

"Oh, will you to be alright then?" The nurse proceeded to ask, both Red and Blue shared a small glance, maybe Pidgeot would have to come out for heat.

"Probably, if we stop breathing can you bring us to somewhere warm instead of this fucking booth of a Pokemon Center?" Blue asked, he nearly sneezed at the end, the cold seeping into his bones much faster than Red.

"I'm sure you'll be fine, but if it happens I will," the nurse said, turning her gaze away from the two, Blue fumbling to release Pidgeot who wrapped a wing around the two gently after being quietly asked to do so.

"And could you put word in with whoever designed this infrastructure to make the Pokemon Centers actual centers for people who need to a night out of harms way?" Red added on, his choice of words had Blue a bit shocked as he usually wasn't so bold.

"I'll look into it," the nurse said, she sounded like she was lying, the two could hear that clearly, but chose to ignore instead of pressing her for more information on how the Pokemon Centers turned to booths.

Instead Blue simply pushed up closer to Red, and Red pushed up closer to the Pidgeot who rested its head atop the trainer, chirruping lightly. The warmth they shared was small, but it would surely get them through the night with down soft feathers of Pidgeot curled around the two.

[casspurrjoybell-33]

Blue's Rose - Chapter 32 - Part 1

*Warning Adult Content*

Boys Will Confess

Blue Cavanaugh & Kulap 'Kool' Somboon

Blue lay naked on his side, his hand propping up his head as he quietly watched Kool sleep half a foot away from him.

Kool was laying sprawled on his belly, turned towards Blue his face smoothed out looking peaceful and angelic.

Blue wanted to let him sleep as long as he could.

He knew when Kool woke the frown between his brows would return, his lips would lose their plump suppleness and his eyes would lose their customary softness.

It would all be replaced with tension, lines and wrinkles caused by worry and stress.

Though gorgeous no matter how he looked, Blue hated seeing someone as gentle and lovely as Kool in such turmoil.

It made his head hurt and his belly hurt and it absolutely crushed his heart to see his lover so lost but Blue had to admit to himself as he lay here watching Kool, he was quite angry too.

He was angry at the situation, angry at his mother, angry at the unjustness and he was angry at Kool.

Right or wrong and it definitely felt wrong, he was frustrated that Kool didn't make more of a stand for himself.

He was allowing his life to be dictated to and Blue just did not understand that.

His anger wasn't just about what involved him as well but for Kool's life in general.

Kool was a gay man and he was agreeing to marry a woman.

How would that possibly end well, for either he or Mia?

'Mia.'

Blue was just as aggravated by her as she was not helping the situation by agreeing to the marriage herself.

These two people were so burdened by family duty that they were about to make a huge mistake that would most likely cause so much damage in time.

Blue could see how the two relied on each other.

Their friendship was solid and strong but even the best of friends can become resentful over time.

If the two of them ultimately lost each other by agreeing to this sham of a marriage, that would be a tremendous waste.

Blue knew how much Kool depended on Mia for her loyalty, warmth, and unconditional understanding.

If Kool lost that Blue shuddered to think of the cold unfeeling man he could turn into because in the end, Blue would not be here.

Blue would not be able to do a damn thing for him and that cut Blue deep.

A profound sadness enveloped Blue.

In just a few days he would be nothing more than a memory to Kool.

He would never be able to return here.

When he left it would be a permanent departure.

How did a person prepare to leave someone they loved indefinitely?

Blue simply had no clue.

What an idiot he had been.

Thinking he could spend this time with him with no regrets and if he had them, he would deal with them later.

Those thoughts had been utter stupidity.

He had bullshitted himself into thinking this wouldn't come at any real cost.

Who would they be hurting?

Well, Blue knew now, he had really done a number on 'himself'.

He knew Kool, too would suffer.

Had this all been worth it?

His eyes lovingly caressed Kool's sleeping face and his eyes fluttered down his naked length as his mind's eye remembered countless laughs, talks and shared moments that were quite simply too precious to put into words.

Yeah, Blue thought with a tired sigh, his head nodding perceptively.

It 'was' fucking worth i.!

The miserable gut-wrenching pain would come and he would have to learn how to live with it but he could not imagine having lived this life without this time with Kool.

The memories they had created, the time they had shared were something Blue would treasure always.

He glanced own at his hip, the newly inked blue rose and smiled.

He would carry his memories like the small tattoo with loving fondness and a determined desire to never forget.

He grinned suddenly when he realized Kool hadn't said a word about his tattoo.

He wondered now if Kool had even seen it.

They 'had' been otherwise occupied.

When Kool had power housed his way through the hotel door earlier and pinned Blue against the wall, he had been incredibly turned on but at the same time, he had known something fundamentally horrible had happened as well.

It had been a disturbing mix of emotions as his body, excited by Kool's dominate approach had immediately responded by getting hard and pulling Kool up into him but his mind had filled with anxiety, making him want at the same time to push Kool away and find out what was wrong.

Kool hadn't liked that and had determinedly seduced Blue into giving him what he wanted.

As arousing as Kool was, it hadn't been that difficult for him to get Blue to see things his way.

What had followed had been powerfully exciting.

Blue couldn't ever remember feeling as turned on.

Kool had pushed him and pushed him, exceeding Blue's limits and then dared to push him some more.

Blue was so thankful that he hadn't hurt Kool as he lost his control.

He wouldn't have been able to do anything about it if he had.

Once you set a flame to gasoline all you could do was stand back and watch the whoosh of fire and hope you weren't singed by the heat.

Feeling as if the few inches separating was more like the width of the Nile, Blue scooted in closer to Kool.

Blue lay his cheek on his arm as he settled himself nose to nose with the other man and wrapped his arm carefully around Kool's back, his hand palming Kool's waist, enjoying the warm tight skin.

How is this wrong?

Why is it wrong?

Why did Kool's mother see this as repulsive?

This was anything but sordid.

Their two bodies touching, joining, there was no ugliness in that.

They shared and gave to each other with natural and normal feelings.

Who was she to treat it as something filthy and revolting?

Blue knew Kool would never tell him everything his mother had said to him. He didn't really need to.

After having met the woman Blue had a pretty good idea of the harsh judgmental brutality she must have unleashed on Kool.

How she must have hurt him, Blue thought, gritting his teeth.

Kool, deep inside was so sweet and sensitive, his mother's words would have left scars.

Blue tried to imagine going through something similar with his own mother and he just couldn't.

His mother had always been supportive.

Sure, she had gotten mad at him over the years, sometimes really, really mad but never to the point where she called him names or berated him as a failure and she would never have approached one of his friends as Kool's had approached Blue.

Trying to imagine her being anything less than southern sweet was impossible.

Mothers were supposed to love you no matter what.

They were supposed to care about your happiness above their own.

Kool's mother didn't seem to understand that concept or she just didn't care.

Why did it matter who Kool loved?

Why did she treat him like a commodity and not the precious human being that he was?

And not just any human being to her but her own son.

Her own flesh and blood.

Momma Somboon's actions flabbergasted Blue.

They made absolutely no sense.

How hard it must have been for Kool to openly admit to his mother that he was gay.

How hard and scary.

He could not imagine how distressing her cold and sickened reaction must have been to Kool and to put the cherry on the sundae the woman was still continuing to insist that Kool marry Mia, a woman.

'Jeez.'

Blue closed his eyes, his heart throbbed in physical pain as he contemplated what Kool's mother was forcing him to follow through with.

Blue could have probably gotten through their parting if he thought Kool could possibly find happiness.

A lot of arranged marriages worked out just fine.

He didn't judge that at all but Kool wasn't being allowed to marry someone that he could potentially find that happiness with because Kool was gay.

No matter how hard those two worked at their marriage, lover-like love would never grow and that aggrieved Blue.

[kalpalatas]

(long post under cut)

it also makes hanzawa calling hirano his best friend in college a lot more heartwarming but also a lot more hilarious

if you look at both sides of this from their time in school, hirano's stance from the novel seems to be "yeah he's allegedly a bit homophobic but that's none of my business"

Hanzawa seemed a bit sensitive about homosexuality, and he was notorious for his ability to sniff out any guys who seemed to be getting too close and drop in on them at inopportune moments. Word had it his contempt for gay people wasn’t completely arbitrary but had something to do with his family circumstances, so even Hirano pitied him for it.

- hirakagi novel ch4, Yen Press's official translation

this thought process precedes kagi's confession (not including the first botched one) by almost half a year. at this point hirano is completely oblivious to his fate so he understandably doesn't really give many fucks about this apparent blanket ban on gay relationships in the dorm allegedly enforced by hanzawa. he's also fairly unreliable as a narrator (as opposed to being an unreliable narrator™) because he's uh. very dense. in general.

poor sweet masato, on the other hand,

the facts™

- he's protective of his gay siblings, and the slights they may suffer in their pursuit of romance

- this is something he extends to the juniors he knows are queer. or at least, miyano (sasamiya ch28):

- he's readily helped miyano with romantic advice before (miyano even comments on this in this same chapter when he's introduced to the older hanzawa who's name ive forgotten)

(he's so strange. i need to study him under a little glass dome)

i could go into how the flashback to his family dinner and how weirdly his mother handled two of her kids coming out definitely impacted his strange brand of protectiveness towards other queer boys around him but really this isn't about that. if i started about that we'd be here all day. this about sums it up anyway:

this is about how this protectiveness extends to his juniors, and in the case of this longass post, to kagiura.

we know hanzawa is fond of kagi, that's textual. kagi is cute and friendly and has a strong sense of responsibility even if he's really stubborn and more than a little naive. he even nominates him as his successor as RA (hirakagi ch19)

on to the second thing. hanzawa also seems to be under the impression that kagi's in danger of being jumped. by hirano. in a gay way.

ch 8.5 (extra)

what does kagi need to be careful of? "oh dear me, hirano's smiling so brightly, kagiura you're in danger" ????? ????? either hanzawa was hit by a random beam of homosexual yearning for his classmate or he thinks hirano got clicked mid-pouncing on his hapless baby kohai. jury's out. for now.

then there's ch 13. yknow. "kagi-kun, let me see your abs!"

maybe hirano's a little bit right about his proclivity for sniffing out homosexual activities, actually

it gets brought up again in ch 16b/16.2:

this is the funniest thing hanzawa has ever said across both manga in my humble opinion. this is the closest he gets to straight up telling hirano to stop being a gay idiot. why did he even put it like that, like "stop messing with the kid, hirano, you know he's got his hormones all over the place" ??????? masato please

and i think this halloween extra kind of serves to vindicate this (odd) bias hanzawa has formed against a guy he otherwise thinks is an upstanding man, if somewhat dense

especially when you put this assumption up against him clearly sniffing out how extremely fond kagi is of hirano, and how hirano doesn't seem to have a single romantic perception bone in his body, you can sort of see his protective instinct kick in

except by the tail end of their third year, hirano and hanzawa are working together to make sure sasamiya get together as a couple

how do you go from assuming a man's a homophobe to (lovingly) scheming behind your mutual friend's back to ensure he doesn't miss his chance to be with the love of his life?

more importantly, can we have it on page so i can see it play out? 🙏

the eventual clearing up of hirano and hanzawa's misunderstanding has the potential to be so fucking funny

[steddiealltheway]

I guess I wrote a mini fic? This was supposed to me like 5 sentences. Anyways…

Steve and Eddie coparenting would absolutely be the kids calling Steve “Mom” and Eddie “Dad”. At first Steve hates it - he never wanted to be the babysitter. He couldn’t survive if something happened to those kids on his watch.

But then he has Eddie who is calling him “honey” and “sweetheart”, so Steve reluctantly starts calling him “baby” and “Eds”. At first, it’s to get Dustin’s inevitable reaction of whining “Mommmm…” but then the pet names become second nature.

Everyone gets used to this but incomes Max Mayfield the absolute meddling little shit (lovingly). She starts stirring up trouble in the car on purpose, reveling in the way Steve threatens to turn the car around while Eddie says, “Listen to your mother.”

One afternoon, the kids are extremely rowdy and on edge for some reason. No amount of lecturing will calm them down, and Steve gets overwhelmed and takes it all personally. He has to pull over and Eddie is there quietly whispering affirmations ensuring him that it isn’t his fault and they’re not actually his kids so they’re bound to be a pain in the ass. Then, Max is speaking up and suddenly saying they’ll all calm down if their parents kiss. Everyone kind of looks at her and she’s like, “Sometimes we need love, not lectures.” Or whatever comes to mind first. But then Eddie is asking Steve if that’s okay and giving him a chaste kiss when Steve says yes. The kids actually behave the rest of the day.

And the kiss sticks. Every time they get in the car, Eddie is giving Steve a kiss. Hell, whenever Eddie greets Steve he’s giving him some type of kiss, bowing down to kiss his hand or even a quick peck on the cheek.

(Steve absolutely panics a bit when he realizes how much he looks forward to these moments and just Eddie’s presence in general and asks Robin for help which ends up with him finding out that he can like girls and boys and it’s called bisexuality.)

Then, Steve and Eddie start to notice how much Will watches them, truly idolizing them. Will realizes that it’s okay to be who he is (so gay), and it’s even possible for him to fall in love one day. Eventually, he’s nervously asking to talk to Steve and Eddie alone and he’s coming out and absolutely showered with love and acceptance.

Time goes on and Eddie is slowly losing his mind because he’s absolutely in love with Steve and losing his goddamn mind because it’s Steve Harrington (who doesn’t even know who Ozzy Osbourne is).Then he’s calling in a favor to “Auntie” Nancy and “Aunt” Robin because he has to talk to Steve.

Then it’s Nancy and Robin with the kids who are absolutely losing their minds, but then it’s Nancy who speaks up asking if a kiss would shut them up. (Because Mike has been telling her all about Steve and Eddie as he finally realizes that that’s what he wants with Will and always has.) And Robin’s completely word vomiting consent when Nancy asks if she can kiss her and then she’s being shut up with a kiss. And El and Max just kind of turn red as they make eye contact with each other (no one says anything when they hold hands the rest of the car ride).

Meanwhile, Steve is telling Eddie what an absolute idiot he is because they’ve basically been dating the whole time and of course he loves him too.

Later on, Steve and Eddie tell the kids how they’re officially their mom and dad (which absolutely confuses the kids at first because they were all along). Dustin finally gets it and is yelling, “You’re dating!” over and over. And he’s celebrating because his two biggest role models are together and happy and absolutely deserving of each other. And the couple is giving a long lecture about how important communication is - which everyone except Mike and Will tune out.

Eventually, Mike and Will finally talk to each other confessing their long time feelings and feel like absolute idiots for not talking sooner. And they come out to the party the next day and Max and El share a quick glance before they come out too. Then Lucas is hugging Max, telling her how happy he is that she’s found someone so right for her - and thankful that he doesn’t have to apologize after their 37th breakup.

Everyone just waits as Robin and Nancy dance around their feelings for each other, but Steve and Eddie tell them no meddling - secretly they’re already doing that. And finally Robin snaps and tells everyone that they’re dating. And everyone is celebrating all over again. (Off in the distance Jonathan and argyle are making out while they’re sooooo high)

And they’re just one giant happy, queer family.

And that’s Season 4 Vol. 2 everyone.

[s1utspeare]

Plz do Midsummer next, I want to know who are all the fairies and and WHO IS TOM SNOUT THE WALL?????

🙏🙏🙏

Thank you i love you I’m so excited for the Shakespeare discourse. 16 yo Shakespeare-in-the-Park me is LIVING

EDIT: WAIT SHIT I JUST REALIZED YOU NEVER SPECIFIED IF YOU WANTED THE DMUTUALBJs OR THE ACTUAL DMBJ CHARACTERS. OH MY GOSH. I’M SCREAMING. THIS HAS BEEN POSTED FOR TWO MINUTES AND I DON’T EVEN KNOW IF IT’S WHAT YOU WANTED. OH FUCK. OH FUCK. UHHHHHHH. UM. WOW. OKAY. I’M SO FUCKING SORRY FOR THIS. 

OH???? YOU WANT MIDSUMMER????? YOU WANT FUCKING MIDSUMMER???? excellent

Okay, so first off, my ideal Midsummer would be gay (obviously) and involve a lot of playing with space and audience and stuff. Like, I would want it to be in the square and have all the seats on the same level/have the audience actually on the stage, so that when the Lovers are running around in the woods, and the fairies and Puck are doing their thing, they’re literally intermingling with the audience. Athens would be in a separate playing space, for both the beginning and the end, and the Players (with the exception of Bottom) would never get to mingle in the audience, because they are so fully enshrouded in their own acting and the world of the play that they are blind to the fact that they’re simultaneously playing and being played. At the end of the play, Puck would step up into that separate playing space to indicate physically that the play is done, they are no longer intermingling with us, and we are now separated from this reality that they have created over the course of the play (this has nothing to do with y’all, I’m just using this opportunity to nerd out about my ideal production specs lmao) and thereby physically releasing us from that space. 

BUT THAT’S BESIDE THE POINT. NOW. I’M SHIFTING INTO DIRECTING MODE AND CASTING THIS SHOW USING THE DMUTUALBJs, THE TAG OF WHICH I’M STEALING FROM SIERRA (also sorry i do not have the skills nor the patience to edit y’all’s icons on characters like they did I am not that good @jockvillagersonly i would die for u). 

HERE WE GO:

First up: the Lovers

Hermia: “though she be but little, she is fierce!” lmao I’m sorry @cross-d-a that’s gotta be you. I love Hermia bc she’s very sweet most of the time, except when she’s been wronged, and then YOU BETTER WATCH OUT CAUSE SHE’S GOING OFF, and I feel like Cross imbues that energy very well. She’ll cut a bitch for her friends, but is also the loveliest person you’ve ever met. 

Helena: Helena’s got to be @humanlighthouse. Sorry, I don’t make the rules. Not only do I want her to step on me, I also think that she’d be willing to throw down in a forest. Plus, she and Cross would have very good stage energy, I think. 

Demetrius: ok here’s where things get interesting, cause you remember when I said I wanted this to be gay right? SO that means we’re playing this with underlying currents of *internalized homophobiaaaa* which means that Demetrius is actually going after Lysander instead of Hermia; or so she thinks. She’s chasing after the closest male-identifying person in the group, but REALLY wants Hermia, and under THAT ends up wanting Helena, who she’s really intimidated by actually, which is why she’s so rude to her in the first parts of the play. And who will play this wonderfully complex Demetria? None other than @vishcount. Again, the STAGE CHEMISTRY BABES. also I think vish would bring a very lovely complexity to this role. 

Lysander: Lysander is actually like my favorite character in this play??? I have no idea why, but I really love him. He’s very endearing and sweet, and just wants to make his girlfriend happy. So for this role I’m casting @psychic-waffles, who I feel would embody this character very well bc I love Jack. 

Alright NEXT: the Players

Peter Quince: they’re the only writer in this thing, so I feel like this HAS to be @merinnan. Also, Meri-jie tries to wrangle crowds of dumbasses everyday in the Discord server and does an INCREDIBLE job, so I feel like Head Writer/Head Bitch works very well here. 

Nick Bottom: who ELSE would I cast except for @jockvillagersonly. Not only are they funny enough to portray this absolute COMEDY role, I feel like they would really ham it up onstage, which is what Nick Bottom needs. Also I would like to lovingly force them into getting more sleep, so if rehearsals for the scenes where Bottom is Passed The Fuck Out go a little long, who’s gonna know??? 

Francis Flute: Francis Flute holds a special place in my heart bc in my university’s production of Midsummer, one of my friends played him, and he was funny as fuck, so for this role I’m going with @bookjoyworm. I think Joy absolutely would be fantastic as Thisbe, and have a very dramatic and tragic death scene (which, coincidentally, is often the only part of the Play Within A Play that’s actually acted well, and I think that Joy could pull off that bait-and-switch). 

Tom Snout: YOU KNOW WHAT NOPEY, IT’S FUCKING YOU. YOU ARE THE WALL. LITERALLY THE FUNNIEST FUCKING SHIT I HAVE EVER SEEN IN MY ENTIRE DAMN LIFE. I LOVE TOM SNOUT AND I LOVE YOU. 

Snug the Joiner: Snug the Joiner is literally just a cutie patootie trying their best. I love them, and I also love @pissmeoffanddie, so that’s who we’re going with on this one. They would be a very fierce lion, I just know it (but not too fierce, so as not to frighten the ladies!!!!)

 Robin Starveling: Moonshine! This so obviously has to be @undyingsunshine; it’s literally in the name!! They both fucking shine! I’m! Also I genuinely love Robin Starveling a lot too lasighaldkfjaldf. 

The Athenians: 

Theseus: all hail the kiiinnnngggggg. Obviously this is @xcziel. I would perform a thousand plays for @xcziel. A million. A thousand million. Mwah. My liege. 

Hippolyta: BOSS-ASS BITCH. BITCH. BITCH. BITCH. none other than @foxofninetales could POSSIBLY be this Amazonian queen. Once again: step on me mom. 

Egeus: Okay like. Okay don’t come for me I’m sorry I have to cast Egeus, but I think that deep down he wants what’s best for his daughter! And I feel like that has very @kholran energy. Idk they came up with the ShanSang pool noodle and that radiates very safe energy for me. So sorry @kholran ur my dad now. 

The Philostrate: they’re literally just trying to get things organized and let everyone have a good time at the wedding! It’s a hard job!! Don’t make it harder for them!!!! I feel like the only one who could do this would be @mejomonster. Just trying to deal with all these idiots. RIP. 

And Finally: the Fairies

Oberon: ok Oberon’s a himbo but in the best way. He’s just hanging out with his best friend Puck and trying to get his wife to pay attention to him again after she gets a baby. like I get it, dude. Me too. I feel like @elletromil has the most Oberon energy, partially bc I’m in awe of them, partially bc they feel like an old married couple along with: 

Titania: @gaiahenshin. You two would be SO PERFECT together as Titania and Oberon. I’m also of the firm opinion that the Love Juice doesn’t actually work on Titania and she’s just acting for Oberon, and I feel like that’s something @gaiahenshin could get behind. ONCE AGAIN. STEP ON ME. THIS IS NOT A SUGGESTION. 

Puck: ok I feel like the obvious one is the person who’s been doing ALL the magic in the fandom for us lately, which would be @xia-xueyi. Not only a Puck-level mastery of words, but also just blessing us with the energy and love and encouragement. She also feels very bouncy and joyful to me, and I would love to see her get to fly around the stage and do some fun magic stuff. 

Cobweb, Mustardseed, Peaseblossom, and Moth: the fairies! THE FAIRIES!!! the literal BACKBONES of the play. Obviously this would be @thewindsofsong, @idlebeks, @staidwaters, and @i-sudoku. I know in my heart that they are all ethereal beings and that nothing would be the same without them. Also they deserve to get to fly around in some stage rigging. They DESERVE IT. 

The Changeling Child: the only one who is not a mutual. This is the stupid baby dummy from the Moonfall Echo behind-the-scenes cause I think it’s hilarious. 

AH!!!! ANYWAY!!!! THERE’S MY MIDSUMMER CASTING!!! I LOVE YOU ALL I CAN’T WAIT TO SPEND HELL WEEK WITH YOU!!!!!! >:)

[comfyswitcherblanketfort]

Hot Peppers

Pairing: Geraskier

Warnings: i mean unless youre scared for life from a bad experience with spicy 

___________

"I'm not kissing you if you eat that." Geralt's nose crinkled in disgust at the plate of hot pickled peppers a barfly had challenged Jaskier to eat. 

"What? These?" Jaskier, with his flair for the dramatic, stabbed a fork through one and held it under his nose,  the acids bringing tears to his eyes, "Don't be daft, they're just peppers." 

Geralt pointed at him with a fork full of blandly seasoned meat and a small chunk of cheese, "I'm not kidding. Your mouth will not make contact with my body if you eat even one." Geralt regretted it as soon as he said the words, seeing Jaskier’s eyes light up at what he took as a challenge. 

Turning back to the original challenger, Jaskier smirked, “I never was one to back down. Here goes.” He toasted the idiot across from them and popped the whole thing in his mouth, biting off the stem with a rather disgusting squelch. 

Geralt sighed and shook his head, watching as his bard slowly went from pale to crimson, looking more like a tomato than human after a moment. When he ate the second one his heart started beating furiously. On pepper number three he was sweating. By the time he finished the plate, Jaskier was nearly dancing around the table, but he still hadn’t taken a drink of ale. 

The local grumbled in bitter disappointment as he handed over the few gold pieces he’d wagered and disappeared as Jaskier downed his, and then Geralt’s ale. 

“Was it worth it?” Geralt asked, handing him a chunk of cheese meant to suffocate the fire.

Jaskier just grunted, popping the dairy in this mouth and straddling the bench next to him, resting his forehead on Geralt’s shoulder. 

“Can I say ‘I told you so’ yet?”

Jaskier shook his head with a high pitched whine as Geralt flagged down the barmaid for more ale, cold if they had it. 

-------

Hours later, after Jaskier had eaten his weight in cheese and nearly drowned in ale, he was finally able to breathe normally and his heart slowed enough to ease Geralt’s nerves. 

“Geralt,” Jaskier called from the sink in their room, “I can’t feel my tongue.”

The witcher felt a pang of adoration despite the ridiculousness of it all, “I told you so.”

The bard shot him a pout over his shoulder, now brushing his teeth vigorously and attempting to speak around the brush, “Doo shoonb”

Geralt grinned back at him, settling into the chair in the corner with his leather polish and Roach’s bridle. He only managed to clean her chinstrap before the leather was being tugged from his hands and his bard fell into his lap.

“Kiss it better?” Jaskier asked, wrapping his arms around Geralt’s shoulders, one hand cupping the back of his neck in a way that always made him shiver. 

Geralt sighed and leaned his forehead against his bard’s, “No.”

“Geralt!” Jaskier’s whine of protest only made his smile widen.

“I warned you.”

“But I brushed my teeth!”

“I can still smell it. If I can smell it, it’ll definitely burn.”

Jaskier leaned back against Geralt’s arm keeping him from falling off his lap and rolled his eyes, “A kiss for your lover isn’t worth a little spicy burn?”

Geralt brushed his fingers through his bard’s soft, dark hair, doing his best not to look him in those irresistible blue eyes, “If it were just peppercorn, then it would be.”

Jaskier gently gripped Geralt’s wrist, bringing his palm to his lips and placing a gentle kiss on his callouses. When he saw his witcher’s jaw clench, not in the way it was supposed to, he heaved a deep sigh and clasped the hand between both of his. 

“Those damned senses.” 

Geralt hummed in agreement, pulling his bard close to his chest, resting his chin on the crown of his head when the brunet nuzzled into him. His arm draped over Jaskier’s back, hand resting on his shoulder where his thumb lazily drifted back and forth over the edge of his clavicle. It didn’t matter to Geralt how often they touched, he always did his best to commit every moment perfectly to memory. These were the nights he wanted to remember in his old age, not the beasts he fought or the nightmares that haunted him. He wanted to bottle up the peace and comfort for safekeeping when he needed it most. 

Jaskier was smoothing his fingers over the spot on his palm that still stung, his featherlight touch not doing much to soothe the pain, but it spoke of his apology. 

“I love you.” Geralt whispered his declaration as he pressed a kiss to the top of Jaskier’s head.

“I love you too. ...you big softie.” 

---------

Geralt woke to Jaskier gently tracing his fingers over his scars, head resting on the witcher's shoulder as he hummed a soft slow tune. He took another beat before opening his eyes, savoring the closeness and basking in the feeling of floating between states of consciousness. When he finally greeted the morning in earnest he was nearly blinded by the light from the window. As he squinted and willed his eyes to do their job, Jaskier propped himself up on an elbow to gaze lovingly down at him. 

His hair, tousled with sleep caught the light like a golden crown, "Good morning, darling." 

Even decades into their relationship, Geralt had to remember how to breathe with him so close sometimes, "Morning love." 

"Did I wake you?" Jaskier asked, resting a hand over Geralt's chest and his chin on the back of his knuckles. 

Geralt shook his head slightly, drinking in his ocean blue eyes like he'd never see them again. 

The bard frowned, "Did you have a bad dream?" 

Geralt simply shook his head again, a small smile gracing his lips. 

"Then why are you staring at me like that?" Jaskier giggled as he spoke, shaking the two of them ever so gently. 

The witcher tilted his head, bringing his hand up to draw a line down his lover's forehead to the tip of his nose, "You're exceptionally beautiful in the morning." 

"If I'd known all I had to do to hear such lovely words was be here when you wake, I'd have done it so much earlier." The blush in Jaskier's cheeks betrayed his cool words. 

"I try to talk more. I do." Geralt mumbled, tapping at Jaskier's bottom lip, momentarily fascinated by the little popping noise it made when he let it snap back up to it's partner. 

Jaskier shimmied up the bed to eye level with his Witcher to kiss him, a little passionate for such an early hour, but he'd been deprived the night before, "I know." 

For a moment Geralt was going to say something so sickeningly sweet even the bard might laugh at him, then the tingling and stinging reached his brain. 

"Ow! Oh shit. Fuck me, that's hot!? What the fuck kind of fucking torture peppers were those!?" He sat up, frantically wiping the spit off his lips, tongue, teeth, anything he could think of with his shirt sleeve.  

Jaskier rolled into his back, more than a little stunned, "You can still taste them? They were just habaneros." 

Geralt scrambled out of bed to turn on the sink, leaning over to stick his whole head under the faucet. 

"No! Geralt, that'll spread it around. Here, I've got some dried meat here somewhere…" Jaskier gripped him by his collar and pulled him away from the sink, keeping a grip on him as he dug through their packs. 

The salt did little to soothe the burn, but the chunks of smoked fat did wonders for his sensitive nerves. After a few minutes of chewing at the gummy tissue the sensation faded to the background and Geralt noticed the delight on Jaskier's face. 

"This isn't funny." 

Jaskier raked his teeth over his lower lip, "I never said it was." 

"You're practically giggling." Geralt argued, standing to spit the chunk of gristle out in the bin.

"You're just so cute. The infamous White Wolf taken down by the day old remnants of a pepper on his lover's lips." Jaskier crossed to him, resting his hands on his hips and laughing in earnest at the pout his words earned, "No more spicy then." 

Geralt kissed his forehead, "No more spicy."