#two dumb army idiots

[bumblingbabooshka]

Seska in ‘state of flux’ literally acting for her life you gotta love her

[hellothereobiwankenobi]

yellow ribbon on the door | chapter one

⟢ summary: Tommy invites the widowed wife of his old Army sergeant to Sarah’s 14th birthday party. Over the past few months, she has slowly become a regular fixture in the lives of the Miller family. And Joel hates it.

⟢ pairing: joel miller x afab!reader (femme but not descriptive as to actual features)

⟢ wc: 1.8k

⟢ warnings: no outbreak au, flower shop au, idiots in love, small age gap, joel is 35 and reader is 29 about to be 30, war widow, operation desert storm mentioned, reader is a single mother to ellie, joel is in love with the reader but because he’s such a dumb fuck when it comes to love he thinks the feelings he has for her must be hate, eventual smut, no beta reader we die like men

⟢ authors notes: this story is inspired by “sunlight & sawdust” by @pandapetals. i started reading the first chapter of their work and it planted a seed (no pun intended) for my own story. so, hope that’s cool.

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Joel pulls a glass beer bottle from the ice-filled cooler. He pops the bottle cap off and takes a long swig. Sarah’s fourteenth birthday party was underway, and his home and backyard were filled to the brim with family, friends, and neighbors. Joel adored his daughter, but standing in front of a hot grill in late July was hardly his idea of a good time.

The heat was starting to get to him. Standing in front of the grill under the blazing Texas sun was already enough, but the way his pulse increased every time he heard your voice. That was making this summer day unbearable.

Your laugh carries across the backyard and directly to Joel’s ears. He watched you sitting perched on the arm of the grey Adirondack chair Tommy was currently occupying. Your head thrown back, eyes closed, a toothy smile plastered on your face. Tommy was leaning forward, his elbows resting on his knees, as he recounted a story about his time in the army. Probably the one where he gets up in the middle of the night to take a leak only to find a spider the size of a dinner plate leaping out of the latrine. Always a crowd pleaser. A small group had joined the two of you on the deck, standing in a semicircle, captivated by Tommy’s words. He always had that ability. A magnetic way of speech that could keep a room full of people wrapped around his little finger.

Tommy leans back into the chair and goes for another sip of his beer only to realize it was empty when two small drops touched his lips. “Guess this one's done for,” he chuckles to himself. He moves to stand up from his sitting position, but you're on your feet in a second “Let me get it for you.”

The corners of Tommy’s mouth curl into an easy smile “Always so good to me, Sugar.” You roll your eyes, but let out a soft giggle. Joel had only met you twice before this, but both times he noticed you were always doting on Tommy. Refilling his drinks, laughing at his jokes, giving him unprompted compliments. Big doe eyes filled with stars as you hung on every word he spoke.

Could you be any more fucking obvious Joel thought to himself. He couldn’t put his finger on why, but seeing you treat his brother like the only man on earth drove him crazy.

You make your way across the yard toward the row of beverage coolers. He feels his body temperature rising again. He decides to do the mature thing and act like he didn’t see you coming.

You stop in front of him before looking up, trying to meet his eyes “Umm, mind if I-” you nod down toward the cooler sitting behind him.

Joel awkwardly shuffles over, giving you more than enough space to complete your task. You bend at the waist, a white and yellow floral sundress riding up and exposing the back of your thighs. He stays facing forward, but he can’t help himself when his eyes travel down the soft curve of your body. Moving discreetly from your round ass, along your legs, all the way down to your exposed manicured toes peeking out from tan, strappy sandals. He’s convinced you know exactly what you're doing positioned like that.

Again, fucking obvious.

You grab the cooler’s lid with one hand, and search for Tommy’s drink of choice with the other. You pluck the red and silver beer can from the ice before closing the lid and returning to a standing position. Joel swiftly adverts his gaze back to the group surrounding his brother.

“Thanks for the invite by the way” You turn to look up at Joel, trying to offer a show of peace. It had been made very clear that he did not like you.

Over the past several months, Tommy has brought you to one family dinner and the Annual Miller Brothers Super Bowl Party. Both times Joel had been frigid toward you, like being in the same room as you was some sort of inconvenience.

When Tommy told you he had a brother, you expected a mirror image of him. Just a slightly older version. Someone who shared his charm, who was quick with a joke, and always craving to be the center of attention. During your first interactions with Joel, you realized the only thing they had in common was a family likeness. Joel shared Tommy’s brown eyes, naturally tanned skin, soft curls, but lacked the same magnetic personality. For you, speaking with Joel was like speaking to a brick wall. A brick wall that hated you for some unknown reason.

Joel doesn’t bother looking in your direction to speak. With an uncaring tone, he reminds you “Tommy invited ya”

“Right,” you let out a sigh, defeated. You couldn’t figure out what you did to make Joel dislike you so much. When Tommy would bring you around, you learned to steer clear of the elder Miller brother.

From the corner of your eye, you catch a bright flash of yellow and orange coming from the barbeque. “Umm, Joel.” you point in the direction of the grill. Joel’s eyes finally move from their fixed position and look in the direction you're pointing.

“Shit-” is all he says before running to the grill, flames rising from the coals.

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Joel pulls the glass sliding door connecting the backyard to the house open with one hand. The other balances a tray of the last darkened hamburgers and hotdogs from the grill into the kitchen. You were standing at the kitchen counter, preparing two meals on paper plates. One with a hamburger stacked with lettuce, onion, and pickles. The second plate holds a single hot dog, a small pile of potato chips, and a few blackberries from the fruit tray you brought for the party. He places the tray on the counter beside you before grabbing a plate for himself. Joel comes to stand at the counter, keeping a sizable gap between the two of you. He grabs some chips and store-bought potato salad and places them on his plate.

“That for Tommy?” Joel asks without thinking, gesturing to one of the two plates in front of you.

You glance up at Joel and flash him a small grin “Tommy is a big boy. If he wants something to eat, he knows where to find it.”

Joel felt a new type of heat creeping up the back of his neck. You let the silence hang in the air for just a moment, allowing yourself to enjoy the flustered look on his face. “It’s for Ellie.”

Of course, Ellie. Your daughter. He had seen her earlier running in the backyard with the other younger children. Sarah was spending her birthday party keeping them occupied by blowing bubbles and letting the kids chase them down. That didn’t surprise Joel though. Sarah could always be found keeping the kids busy during family functions. Joel was more than content with the situation of just him and Sarah, but a part of him always wanted to give her a younger sibling or two. Tommy was a pain in the ass even on the best of days, but he couldn’t imagine what it would be like without him.

Joel finally snaps out of his thoughts and finishes fixing his plate. He exits the kitchen and sees you struggling to open the sliding door with your elbow. Your hands are full with a plate in each one, forcing you to get creative with the door.

Joel stands behind you, reaching around your body to pull the door open with his free hand. You look over your shoulder to see him standing close behind you. Closer than he’s ever been before.

Before you can put too much thought into it, you step out onto the deck and move to find your daughter.

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The afternoon sun had finally started to shift behind Joel’s two-story home, flooding the back deck in shade. Joel sits with Tommy in the Adirondack chairs, eating in comfortable silence. He watches as you sit in the grass with Ellie. Joel can’t help but notice the way the sun caresses your exposed shoulders and chest. Its golden rays making your skin glow.

You try to scold her for eating too fast but it’s clear it has no effect on her. Her hot dog is gone in three bites, followed by a whole handful of the blackberries, and then three chips at a time. She asks you a question Joel can’t hear from this distance and shows you her empty plate. You let out a defeated sigh and nod your head. You take the paper plate from Ellie, and she bolts across the grassy yard to rejoin the other children.

“Must be hard,” Tommy finally breaks the silence. Joel looks at his brother, eyebrows pinched together.

“Doin’ it alone,” Tommy continues, “figured you’d understand. Thought y’all could bond over that.”

Joel remembered Tommy mentioning you were a single mom but he always tried to tune out most of the other information Tommy offers about you.

“Good thing she has you around.” Joel remarks plainly. Trying his best push down the bitter feelings he has associated with their relationship.

You stand up, flattening out your skirt and brushing away any loose pieces of grass. You throw away the paper plates and make your way to the two brothers. After climbing the steps to the deck, you return to your spot on the arm of Tommy’s chair.

“Still havin’ a good time?” Tommy asks you, “Despite Joel’s embarrassin’ barbeque skills.”

Joel rolls his eyes with a grunt, wishing Tommy would just let it go. Next time he could stand in front of the hot grill in one-hundred-degree weather.

You let out a soft giggle “I don’t mind my meat a little well-done.”

“Well-done is generous” Tommy laughs, giving his brother’s arm a shove. “Think Joel forgot you’re supposed to cook with the coals. Not feed ‘em to your guests.”

You want to laugh, but the look on Joel’s face cautions that thought away. You decide to change the subject “Tommy, I actually wanted to ask you for a favor.”

Tommy looks up at you with a soft smile, “Anythin’, Sugar.”

You resist the urge to roll your eyes “I was hoping you could come by the shop sometime this week. The A/C unit in the walk-in cooler is still leaking. I called the repair guy, but it’s going to be at least two hundred dollars for him to just come and take a look at it. And then who knows how much for him to fix it.”

“Course I can.” Tommy leans back leisurely, “I got a couple jobs scheduled, but I’m sure I can squeeze my favorite girl in somewhere.”

With that, Joel makes his leave. He had enough of the two of you and your little flirtatious games.

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⟢ more authors notes: so i have not written fanfic in maybe a decade. ive only recently rediscovered my love for it. posting this makes me nervous but i just really loved this idea and had to run with it.

as of right now, the rating is teen. explicit will eventually happen, but not for a few chapters. but miss girl, once we get to the smut… it’s gonna be nasty and i honestly can’t wait.

also, i will say this now. ive only watched the tv show, never played the game. so idk if tommy calling reader “sugar” is based on canon. i just read it in a fic once and i thought it was so freaking adorable and really tracks with pre-outbreak tommy.

[screamlet]

i wish you would write an outtake from what are your intentions where tommy tries to explain that he was sooooo confused by eddie and buck and eddieandbuck at first and it made him feel insane

(for the "i wish you would write" game)

i miss these boys! but here's something that could have happened in what are your intentions? this would probably be set during chapter 11. you don't have to have read the story for it to make sense.

notes: established relationship bucktommy; tommy pov complete; 1.4k; rated cute for cute

read on the ao3 with the rest of the story!

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It happens once in a while, that their days off are on an actual weekend, and those feel weirdly special to Tommy. He's participating in something… normal: it's 9 AM and he's lying in bed with his boyfriend, their limbs tangled into some mess that's not spooning as much as thrown in the cutlery drawer. Evan's legs are so long and they like to wind around Tommy's like a pair of vines; every shift that tightens makes him laugh. Their hands are linked on top of the covers and they've got nowhere to be. This is as close to perfect as life can get. 

So of course, his brain thinks of Eddie. 

It seems wild now, about six months into their relationship, that Tommy ever thought Eddie and Evan had something going on, because they're just… Eddie-and-Evan. Once Evan kissed him that first time, it felt like that question was answered and that door was shut. But that kiss was so… 

"Can I ask you something weird?"

"You promise?" Evan asks.

"Promise what?"

"That it'll be weird."

Tommy bites his shoulder. "Now your expectations are too high, so kick them back down a little, huh?" Evan shrugs and pushes back against Tommy's chest. "That time with the basketball game, when you messed up Eddie's ankle, and I came to talk to you after—"

"You mean our first kiss," Evan croons, dripping with sap and affection. 

"Yeah, yeah, I guess." Tommy kisses his shoulder like he's making a point. "Actually, even before that, when I was hanging out with Eddie but not you, I kept thinking: did you guys ever…"

"Ever…"

Tommy takes their joined hands and pats Evan's dick through the covers. Evan bursts out laughing.

"What? That's how you ask?"

"I'm trying to deflect from the fact that it's a dumb question!"

Evan glances over his shoulder. "You think it's dumb?"

Tommy makes a face and makes sure he can see it. "Yeah, now I do, but when I first met Eddie and I didn't know you, I wondered if the two of you…"

Evan shakes his head. "No. It's Eddie."

"He's a good-looking guy and you really were a dense-as-hell bisexual if it never occurred to you. Seriously? No guy crush or drunken—"

"It's Eddie."

"Yeah, exactly! You guys are joined at the hip and when it was just me and him—"

"Joined at the hip, not joined at the dick. It's Eddie." Evan's quiet for a second, like he's thinking. "I think Chim or Hen made fun of me when he first joined because I was really jealous of him and how cool he was, and he'd been in the army. Then on one of our first shifts, we extracted a live grenade that a dude had in his thigh? And—"

"You what."

"Okay, maybe now it sounds like how I acted when I first met you, less jealousy and more acting like an idiot, but—"

"No, the live grenade. It was where?"

Evan turns around. "It was in a dude's thigh. It was a collectible, but then it turned out it was a live round inside."

"And you survived?"

"We did! Eddie was so cool. He extracted it, right, and put it in one of those black boxes. The guy had a ton of blood loss so we got him out, got out of the ambulance, and then when the bomb squad sent in their robot, the whole ambulance blew up. And then that was it. Jealousy over, we were friends." Evan turns his head again. "Did you think we were together or something?"

"Hold on, I'm processing the live grenade thing. It blew up an ambulance. What the hell is your life?"

"Not the weirdest thing that ever happened to me."

"I'm so, so aware of that."

Evan nudges his elbow into Tommy's stomach. "What'd you think of me and Eddie?"

"So… you've gotta remember, okay? I walk around the world with a pair of big gay goggles that are invisibly welded to my head and they never come off, so… I was hanging out with Eddie and he was always talking about you! Always saying how much he loved you, you were his best friend, Christopher loved you, telling me you were so lovable, you were just the best guy in the world, and then Chris couldn't stop talking about you and he loved you so, you know."

"Huh."

Tommy unwraps himself from Evan's legs and sits up on his heels. "But that's the thing, he was so straight about it and—I can't explain it! All these gay things were coming out of his mouth, but all the vibes were like, even when I'm peeing I actively try not to think about my dick too much. I didn't get it. I still don't! And then Lucy compared you guys to the raptors in Jurassic Park, and how he was the bait but you were the clever girl about to jump me."

Evan laughs and tilts his head on the pillow, looking coy. "Really? I don't even know what that means."

"It made sense when I was insane, and I was completely insane. I wasn't even jealous, just confused!" Tommy huffs. "Confused and seriously horny when I got to your place to talk, but I didn't know!"

"Did you have to know?" Evan asks.

It rushes out of Tommy before he has time to think about it: "I mean, yeah. You two are pretty big guys, like, you could still punch me in the face if I read you wrong and hit on you. Not that you would, either of you, but." Evan reaches for his hand and Tommy half-smiles. "The gay goggles, right? They do more than set off awooga sirens when a hot guy walks by. You've gotta be sure about that stuff."

"Is that why you didn't call me?" Evan asks. "About getting a beer after we met up at Harbor and you abandoned me for Eddie?"

"Well. Yeah, kinda. I figured if this straight guy wants to hang out again, we'll hang out again. But if I ask you out—"

"You could have asked, though. Hanging out, just friends?"

Tommy takes a deep breath. "Even then, I think I knew I couldn't ask you out like that. Platonically. So I wanted to be sure. And you kept looking at me like you didn't want to be "just" friends, so—" Tommy groans and shifts around again so he's sitting cross legged on the bed. "Do you see what I mean? You drive me insane."

Evan reaches out and touches his chin, thumb in his cleft. "I love you. You're really sweet and completely insane."

"Obviously I'm fine now. Don't give me that look." 

Evan drags him back down to the bed. He tangles his legs with Tommy's again. This time they're facing each other, the better for Evan to wrap his arms around Tommy's back and kiss him, ensnare him forever. "Was that weird enough for you?" Tommy asks between kisses. 

"Getting there, but I've got a high tolerance," Evan says with a grin. "It's funny, though, you say those things—lots of people have said that about me and Eddie—but, I don't know. Literally never a thought in my head. Even when I used to go out with him and Chris and people would act like I'm also Chris's dad, I'd feel like: hey, they think I'm a dad, that's so cool. Not the Eddie part."

"So that's no to Eddie, yes to baby, got it." 

They freeze, suddenly, because that's—not a thing they've talked about—and maybe it's way too early to talk about—

"Can I ask you something really scary?" Evan asks quietly. "Can we put that question in a black box for a little bit and check it out later?"

"Leave it for when we've got our tactical gear and a bomb robot? Yeah, absolutely. I haven't even had coffee."

"We haven't even had coffee," Evan whines. "Let's go have coffee."

"Hey." Tommy holds him closer and kisses him. "I'll wait, okay? No rush."

Evan stares at him and nods slowly. "Yeah." When he kisses Tommy again, it's sure, not scared or worried. Confident, again. "We're not going anywhere." Tommy agrees, kisses him again, and stays. He loves him and he stays. 

---

read on the ao3 with the rest of the story!

[the-lambda-archives-ai]

“Okay. . . Background. . . I was a troubled kid, I’ll just get that out of the way, got into fights skipped school made a lot of questionable choices for my age.

I think it goes without saying I didn’t have a lot of friends, not my fault, my parents were shit, abusive dad and a pushover of a mom who just sat back and watched; I used to tell myself it was 'cause she was scared of him too.

Doesn’t matter anymore.

Let’s just say they didn’t take too kindly to finding out that their dearest daughter wanted to be a boy.

I was. . . on my own, I couldn’t stay at home, they didn’t want me to stay and neither did I; since my parents abandoned me I’d forced myself to go back into the closet, I was afraid that if I was myself people would leave.

Typically people aren’t too keen on letting an angry teenager with a shit load of baggage in, so I had nowhere to go.

Naturally, when I turned 18 I joined the army, I’m sure you don’t need me to tell you about all the horrors of the military.

I’m let off 7 years later, and if you thought I had problems before, you wouldn’t know the half of it.

I was more lost than ever before.

Turned out I wasn’t the only one because a little while later I ran into a mate from the army in a bar, turned out we both were from the same little shit hole, and coincidentally both ended up in the same town; we drank, talked, and for the first time I felt like I wasn’t alone, I’ve never had it happen where I talked to a stranger and it feel like we’ve known each other our entire lives, it could have also been the alcohol that made it a bit easier, but we got on like a house on fire.

Adrian was the first guy who ever really understood me, who I felt comfortable around, hell I even worked up the confidence to come out to him, I was scared shitless but he obviously accepted me. . . heh . . .it’s funny ‘cause the moment after I came out, he quickly confessed he thought he was gay, it caught me so off guard that I laughed and said “way to kill the moment.” he said he thought it would make me feel better if he also confessed a secret.

I was lost, but now I had a friend.

I became an officer and shortly after he did too, for the first time in my entire life things were beginning to get on track.

We had a good. . . 6 years? without a major incident, which in hindsight it's crazy either of us made it that long without crashing into a tree or something, but well. . . obviously that didn’t last.

One of the guys from work invited us on a hunting trip, it sounded exciting, I’d never been hunting before and I sure as hell wasn’t gonna pass up an opportunity to get drunk in the middle of nowhere with a bunch of idiots! Adrian wasn’t as excited about it as I was and was more reluctant to agree, but I guess when he heard I was going he agreed to come along.

It was us and 3 other guys in Colorado for 3 days, first couple days were great, we hiked around the mountain, went fishing, shot a couple ducks, got temporarily lost, the usual fun you have camping, it was on the night of the second day I think, that one of the guys, Adam, said he saw something moving around the campsite, Clarke, another guy, whipped out his gun and shot it in the air without warning and said some dumb shit like “well it’s gone now!”.

He got yelled at for being a fucking dumbass, but we all kind of agreed it was probably a deer and long gone now.

Adrian woke me up that night, but in a fuckin- kidnap-cover-your-mouth style, I was gonna yell at him but before I could get anything out he whispered to be quiet.

I- I’d never seen him so. . . scared.

I nodded to him and he slowly let go and inched towards the tent door, I- I asked him what was going on but he just whipped around and glared at me, I kind of just shut up and tried to listen. . .?

I’d thought maybe a bear wandered into the campsite and he’d heard it or something?

We were sat there for maybe two or three minutes before I heard a- something growling. . . it- it wasn’t like anything- I- I need you to understand there is no damn animal in Colorado that could make that noise, it was so low but not like- a natural low, like it didn’t sound real?

It sounded like if you took a dog growling and edited it to the lowest possible setting and added a reverb? Something like that- it- it was so loud I thought that it was around our tent but. . . I realized it wasn’t when I heard Adam scream.

The next part was sort of a blur, something ripped into our tent, gunshots, and we both ran out into the woods, I- I wasn't focused on where I was going- I just kept running, like tunnel vision.

It was dark and cold and at some point I realized I wasn't wearing any shoes 'cause my feet were bleeding, I was completely out of breath and exhausted, I had to stop, I barely had a moment to breathe when I heard the growling start again, it wasn't close but it was loud enough that I knew it was near, and then the growl began to change, it slowly morphed into a laugh, and then it started coming from all directions, it was so loud it- that horrible unnatural laugh rang in my skull and I couldn’t move, I knew I was trapped and- that I’d die here, alone.

A gunshot pierced the woods and all at once the laughter stopped, Adrian emerged from the tree line holding a pistol, he was shaken up but began to make his way toward me. . . I should have known better than to let my guard down, but I was so happy to see his stupid face.

A figure jumped out of the trees at a speed that- I. . . I didn’t even have the time to process what was happening, I just turned over to look and it was on Adrian, he dropped his gun and the thing- it- it almost looked human but was so deformed- it was bloated in some places and skinny in others, its face looked charred, pitch black, the only things visible were its glowing white eyes and teeth- it kicked his gun away and I ran to go pick it up, when I turned back I was expecting it to try to stop me. . . That you know- me running would at least catch it's attention? But it didn’t. . . I turned back to see it mauling Adrian, it ripped into his arm and part of his jaw before I shot it.

It didn’t die, the bullet barely seemed to have affected it, but it was enough to drive it back into the woods, he- Adrian was bleeding. Bad.

I- I was so scared he’d die- I lifted him up and wandered the woods looking for the nearby highway, I walked with him for what felt like hours before the forest service found us, they were already on their way because they heard all the gunshots.

From there I guess I must have passed out because next thing I know I’m waking up in a hospital bed, I was well enough and practically jumped out of bed looking for someone to ask if Adrian was alright, but turned out he was in the bed next to me all patched up and sleeping, it’s weird, despite everything that had just happened, in that moment all I thought about was how we must have truly been inseparable if not even a freaky monster could break us apart.

I probably jinxed it. . . Adrian recovered alright and got a ton of gnarly new scars he covers up but. . . he wasn’t the same.

He became . . . obsessed with hunting down whatever that thing was. . . Metaphorically speaking, he’d never go back to those or any other woods ever again, but, he wanted answers, at some point he learned about the lambda institute and became unhealthily obsessed.

His hunger for answers was what began to drive a wedge in our friendship, the supernatural has him in a chokehold, and I don’t even think he realizes it.

Since his recovery he’s. . . spiraled. . . he’s obsessive, possessive, paranoid, and he does things without even thinking about the consequences, before all this happened he was the responsible one, one of our friends joked that I’ve basically become his babysitter, it was a joke but it’s sort of true.

I knew he was obsessed with the paranormal, but I didn’t find out about his fixation on the lambda institute 'till after yesterdays incident when he confessed about it after we left.

. . . He’s been put on mental health leave for a couple weeks, and he’s barely spoken to me since.

I’m getting worried- I’ve been worried, for his health, our r- friendship, but- now more than ever, he always comes to me for everything, but he’s been getting withdrawn, hiding things from me isn’t- he never does that; from others, yes, but not me, I’m- this is bad, I’m worried about what other things he could be hiding, he hid his obsession for months I don’t- I- I think he’s going to do something, something stupid, he’s gonna get hurt and I need to stop him but I don’t know how, I just. . . I just want my best friend back.

> Statement ends.

Pt 192 > here

Prev > here

[eddiestightywhities]

TRUST ME, I'M A LESBIAN

.

Hen was actually so, so wrong.

Buck was completely one hundred percent uninterested in how disgustingly attractive New Guy was, with his lean, mean firefighting-machine physique and those super pretty, long-lashed, stunningly big brown doe eyes of his.

Eddie Diaz. Ugh.

Ex-army medic. Top of his class at the academy. Infuriatingly unflappable.

Also too cool for a dumb nickname like any other normal fucking person. The douchebag was too cool for school in general, apparently.

Although neither of those things ended up being true, as Buck found out after two hot seconds of his ego pointlessly scrapping for position of Top Dog. Like when his new kick-ass partner answered to ‘Eds’ as if he always had, the moment Buck's subconscious decided it was just gonna be that way. Like when he'd discovered his awesome new friend was a single dad with a son, a kid of elementary school age, who just so happened to be the brightest shining light Buck had ever had the privilege of having to squint at.

That kid, just—wow. Buck was completely smitten, right from the off. Christopher was amazing. Way smarter than Buck, and way cooler than Eddie (who actually, adorably, turned out to be six-foot-worth of pure marshmallow that Buck kinda wanted to simultaneously squish and eat).

These irrefutable facts were first presented to him after inviting himself over to the Diaz residence with an offer of help to clean up following the earthquake, and then he sort of just…

Well, he sort of just never really left. At least, his heart always stayed behind at 4995 South Bedford Street, each and every time he reluctantly drove away from what very quickly became the undisputed best part of his life.

Until all of that changed in the space of a single heartbeat.

A few years down the line came the day that Eddie almost gave Buck a fucking coronary when he crowded into Buck's personal space and backed him into the fridge with a hand bracing either side of his head—post-it notes coming as unstuck as Buck did, magnets clattering to the kitchen floor and managing to sound like wedding bells to Buck's pathetically romantic ears—when suddenly Eddie was kissing him, and kissing him, and kissing him.

And—holy fuck.

After seeing God, Eddie had nervously asked Buck and his heart to stick around, for long enough to not just have (make) dinner and choose their after-meal movie, but to be the little spoon with Eddie in Eddie's too-small bed until morning time came around.

Eventually, after so many cosy nights on the porch with a beer and and arm snaked around his waist, and mornings consisting of packed lunches and pecks on the cheek, Eddie asked Buck to never leave.

Obviously, Buck and his heart sang out with a chorus of yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Or rather he'd screamed it with every goddamn fibre of his being, because Jesus fucking Christ, Buck was just as in love as Eddie apparently was.

Eddie didn't just want Buck; he wanted Buck to stay.

They'd grinned at each other like toothy, goofy idiots, before Eddie was kissing him again, and again, and again, and kind of never really stopped—never for very long, at least.

Yeah, sorry, Bobby and Co.

Funnily enough, it wasn't necessary for Buck to go home and pack a bag, seeing as most of his stuff already lived at Casa Buckley-Diaz (that was what Chris had started calling the place a while back). Thing was, all three of them already knew Casa Buckley-Diaz was Buck's real home, and had been for a really long time.

So that's how everything and nothing at all changed: Eddie and Christopher weren't just a part of Buck's life anymore; they just were his life.

Hen, it turned out—both annoyingly and completely wonderfully—was actually so, so right.

And yes, Buck definitely learned his lesson: Always trust a lesbian.

.

look, i've had A Time of it this last couple of weeks, and also have the dreaded block and just needed to write something—like, anything, y'know? i guess that this is the silly little fanfic-y no-dialogue something-anything i managed to come up with xp

[cranberryjuice-posts]

- out of my league -

Pairings - Clarisse La Rue x Fem! Hecate! Reader

Based on - out of my league

An - im having the worst fucking migraines ever

You silently closed your window. “Ready?” You smiled over at clarisse who quietly nodded. Both of you wearing warm clothing as it was getting cold out.

“Got the money?” She asked adjusting the spear that was on her back. “Yup!” Confirming the previous question by holding up your wallet. “Common Let’s get going before we’re caught” you chuckled grabbing clarisses arm leading her into the woods.

You and clarisse had been friends for a few years. Both arriving at camp and being claimed around the same time you both grew close. In most scenarios ares kids didn’t really hang out with minor kids Espically the Hecate group, but that never stopped you both.

Clarisse liked you. She knew she did, she always had. You were the complete opposite of her, kind calm considerate.. that’s what made you both the perfect pair.

For the past few weeks clarisse had been trying to ask you out on a date. From trying to get you to go on a walk with her after the bonfire to picking strawberries with her. every time the idea came though up she was never able to actually ask the question.

What she didn’t expect was for you to ask her on a mid night run to a gas station a mile down the road. Clarisse quickly agreed and now found herself here

Reaching the edge of the camp you chuckled some. “Ready” you smiled, Walking out the camp border.

Taking a deep sigh clarisse stepped through the border and followed you down the road.

——

The walk there was entertaining. Clarisse getting threatened by the smallest of noises think they were a monster thus making you laugh.

Deciding to play 21 questions, the daughter of ares took a minute to think of her final question for you. “All right uh.. Why do you like the night so much” she shrugged her shoulders

“Really that’s your question” You laughed, however taking note of clarisses serious face you rolled your eyes. “I guess the reason why I like the night so much is because nyx and Hecate used the darkness as a way to help viel women and witches who were running away so they wouldn’t be caught.. it’s comforting in a way especially after I ran away” you smiled while shrugging your shoulders. Before clarisse could respond You changed the topic at hand

“Oh! There it is” you happily smiled grabbing clarisses Hand without realizing it leading her inside he glowing seven eleven.

Almost immediately you made your way down to the slushy machine. “Here try it” You handed the coke flavored drink over. The daughter of ares looked suspicious but took a sip of the drink. “Only shit”

“I know!”

Being at camp since you were barley 10 it made you learn to appreciate the smaller things in life. Walking towards the back of the store You took an elaborate pair of shades off the rack“How do these sunglasses Look on me”

“Like an idiot”

“Rude”

“You wanted me to be honest”

Rolling your eyes dramatically you set the glasses onto clarisse smiling as they made her look equally as dumb. “There now we’re both idiots” both of your faces were close, if either of you leaned forward your would be kissing. Gently patting her cheeks you walked away down yet another isle trying to ignore your burning cheeks.

——

Now walking up to the counter with an assortment of candies, chips, two slushies, multiple sodas and three hotdogs you payed the fee and walked out with clarisse following in suit.

Looking over you saw the normally strong guard girl smiling as she ate her hotdog. “Oh is clarisse smiling?” You teased.

“Shut up” she chuckled gently bumping her hip into yours. “Only if you tell me what’s got you in a good mood”

After some back and forth clarisse eventually agreed. “When I was younger My mom like you know she was in the army, when we were moving around the country and going to school to school my mom would stop at gas-stations and get me some comfort foods one being a Hot Dog” she sarcastically admitted. You hummed happily looking down at your long finished snack. “When we’re older and leave camp the first thing I wanna do is meet your mom”

It was like the world stopped for clarisse.. you.. you wanted to meet her mom. “Why that’s stupid”

“Not Everything is stupid clarisse, and not everything has to have some elaborate reason.” Giving her a playful dirty look you chuckled as she gently shoved you.

—

Growing closer to the boarder of camp halfblood, your slushys long discarded and half the bag of food eaten you decided to run ahead some. However one you entered the general forest area near camp you stepped in the wrong spot at the wrong moment.

Almost immediately you were tackled to the ground with a monster one you couldn’t identity in the dark towering over you, the gross slobber is dripping down your face you tried to push it off with no avail.

The next thing you heard was clarisse screaming as she stabbed the monster. “Don’t fucking touch her!” She yelled. You were trying to collect your breath as the wind was knocked out of you. Standing up some you balanced on clarisse, watching the monster disgenerate you looked up worried.

“Shit Are You ok” she quickly questioned grabbing your face, taking off her jacket she started to clean the slobber and blood off of your face. “I’m fine, hey look see I’m not bleeding it was probably just a hound sniffing around.. I’ll be ok” you grabbed the nervous girls wrist while trying to help her calm down.

Clarisse Just nodded in response. “Let’s get back to camp” she sighed, grabbing the two plastic bags off the ground she held your hand, refusing to let it go until you were inside the border.

——

Once at the Hermes cabin clarisse helped you silently open the window. Climbing inside you groaned, after the attack you had pulled a muscle in your back.

“It still hurts” she asked worried. Nodding you gave her a forgetful frown. Watching as she started to walk away you decided to tease her some. “Where are you going?”

“Bed. It’s 3am”

“So you’re really leaving without a goodbye kiss?”

“And Why would i do That” she stopped, turning around with a currious look “Because you like me” you quickly responded with a charming smile.

“I- I do not I don’t know where—“

“Yes you do. And it’s ok because I like you to”

Her shocked expression made you laugh once again, muttered a small spell you pulled the girl back over to the window. Leaning down out you kissed her softly. Clarisses arms were tied down to her side with your spell, but you found it amusing how she still tried her best to kiss you back.

Pulling away you undid the spell and finger waved at clarisse while closing the window. “Wait! YN you can’t do—!”

“Goodnight clarisse” You sarcastically teased blowing her a kiss before completely shutting the window

“Yn!!” She finally yelled.. clarisse rubbed her eyes, what the hell was she going to do with you.

Clarisse - So We’re dating

Y/n - yes

Clarisse - ok.. im ok with that

Y/n - *raising an eyebrow* everything ok clarisse

Clarisse - *standing with a hand over her mouth and looking down critically* yup

——

[sweetfirebird]

Things You Can Do Right Now

aside from protesting and harassing Democrats to do things

Get vaccinated (if you can)

MMR (measles, mumps, rubella) vaccines should be good if you received two doses as a child, which most in the US still do. However, enough people haven't now that there is a measles outbreak. Measles wrecks your immune system and also it sucks. So check your records and talk to a doctor. Many cannot get vaccinated because of compromised immune systems, so do it for them. (And because RFKjr sucks rotten eggs)

flu shots! covered by many state and county public health programs! the flu season is already insane, and that's just "regular" flu

Tdap (Tetanus, diptheria, acellular pertussis) -this is the tetanus shot you are supposed to get every ten years. Tetanus is horrible but the concern with this one right now is pertussis (whooping cough). You don't want it and you don't want to spread it to children. It's not their fault their parents won't vaccinate them.

Covid. Obviously. In America, this isn't always covered now, unfortunately, but if it is for you or you can afford it, get it while you can, before that idiot possibly eliminates it.

Protecting public health is community building AND it's protesting these jackasses.

Wear a mask - you don't want to wear it all the time, there is a lot of social pressure, I get it. Then wear one when in hospitals, and on planes/trains etc. (I know some states are trying to make this illegal, because the people obsessed with 'freedom' don't give a shit about yours.)

Wash your hands. This seems obvious to us grownups, but a lot of MAGA types now seem to be deliberately not doing this. And, aside from how it's disgusting, uh, hand sanitizer does not kill Norovirus. Hot water! Soap!

Give to food banks if you can, or contribute to Little Free Pantries or local outreach programs. Fed is best and armies march on their stomachs.

Wash your produce thoroughly before you eat it. Cook your meat thoroughly. Follow the AMA youtube channel for updates on bird flu or other outbreaks that the CDC is no longer/can no longer report on. Orange Asshole is deregulating everything, so... here we are. In hell. Protect your health because he sure as shit isn't.

talk to your neighbors, if you have any and they don't have MAGA shit in their yard. I actually do not have any neighbors that aren't businesses, but I do patronize their businesses (except the real estate office. What am I? Rich? Like I can buy a house. lol)

Check your community boards (NextDoor is weird but it is technically a community board) for local events/needs to see if you can contribute. Does your local senior center or school need donated craft supplies? Is there a pet adoption day looking for volunteers? Is a community outreach group doing free or low cost vaccinations open to the public? Sometimes areas will have free pet spaying/neutering drives for anyone with low income! That might not seem like protesting to you, but using local and government programs is your right and is good, and also you paid for that with your taxes. Use them. Programs that don't get used get cut. (Some are about to get cut anyway grrrr so use them while they exist)

Go to the library. Get a library card. Check out physical books or movies. Use online apps like Libby and Libro.fm *through your library* for free! You are supporting an institution that supports your community. Every year, when it's budget time, the library numbers need to look GOOD, and yes, that is also your tax dollars. So use your libraries!

Be vocal. If you are boycotting Target or Walmart or McDonalds or Airbnb or Starbucks--tell them why. This is email, don't worry, no phone calls required. If you are now shopping at Lush or Costco or Albertson's instead--tell them so as well! Mention it to other people.

yeah it's dumb that in America one of only real ways to be heard is through consumerism but these are all just tools at your disposal. What services are being used, what aren't. Where the dollars go, where they don't.

Start looking up which Republicans--and Democrats--are up for special elections in your area or who need to be Primaried the hell out of the race. If you feel up to it, go volunteer to help, or follow them on social media and start getting aggressive with your support.

If a Democrat *has* done something awesome. (Or you have one of the rare R's who is standing up to this bullshit) then talk about it. (and yes also tell them you thought it was awesome) Democrats are... honestly... they need to learn how to hype themselves up. They don't know how to do this for some reason, so I guess we have to do it for them. They are, like everything else here, a tool that we need to use, for the moment.

Quit fast fashion. It's basically slave labor. It will also save you money and you won't be contributing to this economy. It's also INCREDIBLY better for the environment than polyester crap in landfills--and this administration is not about saving the environment at all. So it's again up to us for now to do what we can. Learn to buy quality pieces, rewear and repair. Thrift well. You can even learn to tailor your own clothes, which looks a thousand times better anyway. (or get them tailored. plenty of small businesses like dry cleaners offer small alternation services, like hemming.)

and finally, for now

get a hobby. I'm not kidding. preferably something tangible, that you can hold in your little hands and see as a final, finished piece. Though if not, reading more or video games and the like are always fine. You are going to want and need distraction, yes, but also *creating* when things are low is so, so good for your brain. And an act of creation while they are trying to destroy everything? is a little 'fuck you' to all of them.

[1nsan1tysan1ty]

Do you guys know that thing where when you try and play a sport against someone who has never played—

For example, you’ve been playing soccer for two years while your friend barely knows how to kick a ball

—and you just…can’t beat them??

(Example videos: one, two, three)

Now take that and throw that onto the Robins who’ve just started being Robin

They’ll pull the craziest shit ever because they still haven’t learnt that that one move they’re doing right now leaves them open in three different ways but it works. It’s works because A) those are children and why would you willingly attack a child near Batman and B) why would you expect anyone to pull a move that dumb?? Oh and an extra C) it works cause of beginners luck

BUT LISTEN

As they train, because they now know how open they’re left, all that beginners luck goes away. If they tried those same moves, they’d be off duty for three broken bones and fractured ribs

In sports terms, the more you learn the harder it is to not get tricked because you know the tricks

I how I’m explaining this well LMAOO

The previous Robins talking would probably go something like this:

Dick: “Yeah, I one time poked Killer Croc in the eyes cause I thought he’d be blinded the same way sharks are. It worked. A year later when I tried to same thing I ended up with a broken arm and bruised ribs.”

Jason: “You’re the stupidest fucking idiot ever.”

Dick: “Okay you can’t be talking Mr. “I-fed-penguins-army-of-birds-sunflower-seeds! You tried the same thing literally half a year later and you were pecked and swarmed!”

Jason: “Okay fuck you that was a great idea—“

Damian: “Most of penguins birds do not eat sunflower seeds. That was an idiotic move, Todd.”

Steph: “At least you guys weren’t throwing your grapple gun before jumping off roofs. I did that for a solid two months before B taught me how to really do it. Next time I tried my party trick I went home lacking dignity.”

Collective silence.

Jason: “We all agree that’s the stupidest one right?”

Duke: “How are you even alive?? You were jumping off roofs from fifty feet in the air?”

Steph: “I honestly have no idea. I’m pretty sure I was magical but suddenly knowing how the magic worked made me unmagical.”

Damian: “That’s not even a word, tt.”

Dick: “Oh wait! What about you Duke? You were a Robin for a bit.”

Duke: “Oh I don’t think it’s anything crazy. I did take on Clayface and shoved him into water by blinding him and then temporarily blinded the Joker.”

Jason: “See, this is just badass.“

Duke: “I also tried to make myself invisible on a stealth mission at a warehouse but accidentally shone way too brightly. My cover was nearly blown but thankfully a pigeon crashed into the big light which caused it to spark again and my cover wasn’t blown.”

All: “…”

Jason: “I take back what I said.”

[mrsharrington83]

Idiots in Love

REQUESTED – My asks are open if you have a request ^_^

Summary; (For the sake of this fic, Steve and Nancy never happened) Steve and reader being dumb and having moments of being iconic together. Since everyone knows that Steve isn’t the sharpest tool in the shed, maybe he just needs another person to be as dumb as him or maybe he just needs someone else to match him mentally.

Words; 3.4k

warnings; swearing, usual stranger things, things, slight mention of drug use, blood and injury. not proof read.

A/N; thank you for all the requests! I apologise for taking so long getting through them all. i cant write a 0.5k-1.0k fic for the life of me at the minute! Its 2am for me now, but i really wanted to get this out!

Dustin said Steve was an idiot because he had too much hair on top of his head which left too much room for air. For you, Dustin said it was because you’d been around Steve for far too long.

Hawkins, Indiana, 1983.

School was a bore, you tried your hardest and whilst you did ace some classes, you also completely failed in others. Picking up extra tuition and getting help from anyone who would give it to you was a struggle. You didn’t like asking for help, it made you feel dumb, but more than that, it made you feel useless. Why did you struggle so much in certain classes and not in others?

You honestly thought it was from a fall you had as a child when you were learning how to ride a bike. Your father had stupidly taken off your stabiliser wheels and let you go on the hill of your childhood garden, right into a tree. Whilst you were fine overall, you did end up with a nasty bump on your head.

Not only were you not that smart academically, but you were also very accident-prone, which is how you met Steve ‘the hair’ Harrington. You weren’t the most popular person in school, you had a small group of friends and that was enough for you. You didn’t want to be known by everyone. As you walked down the busy hall to your locker, hardly taking in your surroundings and paying attention, you slammed into someone’s back. Your extra tuition books and folders fell to the floor,

“I’m so sorry, I wasn’t looking where I was going!” The person you slammed into turned around, Steve Harrington, one of the most popular, sought for guys in school looking down at you, “I- I” you stuttered and he smiled, placing his sunglasses on the top of his head, he always found your first meeting adorable, it was something the party had heard several times and not got bored of hearing it. The nervousness in your eyes, the way you pushed some of your hair back behind your ear. The way you bent down to get your books, just as he was doing the same. Your heads collided and bounced off each other, his glasses joining your books on the floor, thankfully not broken,

“Shit! Sorry!” It was Steve’s turn to apologise as he slipped his discarded glasses into his pocket and pulled all of your books and folders into his arms, standing quickly so as not to embarrass himself further, “are you okay?” you just laughed and nodded, taking the books from his arms as you thanked him. That was the start of yours twos budding romance.

Hawkins, Indiana, October, 1984

It was a constant source of amusement for the party, they couldn’t believe some of the stuff you and Steve came out with half the time and how you were both so in sync,

***

“Maybe if we set this on fire,” Mike stated as he looked toward all the drawings on the floor,

“Oh, yeah. That’s a no.” Steve bites back, shaking his head, throwing a tea towel over his shoulder as he leaned on one foot, hand on his hip,

“A double no at that,” you called back to scrambling kids who were already gathering supplies and pointing at drawings on the floor,

“The mind flayer would call away his army,”

“They’d all come to stop us,”

“We circle back to the exit,”

“Guys.” Steve interrupted the party as they carried on talking between themselves, rushing around, completely ignoring the two older people in the house,

“By the time they realise we’re gone-“

“El would be at the gate,”

“HEY, HEY, HEY, this is not happening!” You and Steve bellowed over the party as they stopped to look at the both of you, your arms falling around as Steve grabbed the tea towel from his shoulder, whipping the air,

“Do you two share the same brain cell?” Dustin looked towards you both,

“No!” you both shouted in unison again, looking towards each other before laughing, the kids joining you.

***

They were all ecstatic when they found out you were both dating, though they did have to push you both in the right direction, this whole thing was an unlikely friendship between people. The only reason you were involved with Dustin and his friends was because you babysat him whilst his mum was at work, this caused you to get involved with the disappearance of Will last year and in turn, with you being close to Steve. He was brought into the mix also.

It was so obvious to others, how you both felt about each other, but it wasn’t for you and Steve. After some coxing and words of wisdom from the younger party, as you called it. You and Steve were finally an item, though they didn’t find out until months later when Steve let it slip,

“Dustin, stop picking on my girlfriend, would you?” Steve looked up from his plate of food as he moved bacon around with his fork, leaning back against the dining room chair as he stretched,

“But she just- wait? What... girlfriend?” Dustin looked back and forth between you both, the pair of you looking confused, “you’re meant to tell us!” Steve carried on moving food around his plate as you took a bite of toast leaning against the counter,

“Tell you what?” you asked wiping the crumbs off your hands onto a discarded tea towel,

“Have you been listening to any of this conversation?!” Dustin questioned, “That you’re together! I can’t believe this! How long have you two been a thing?! Wait until the others find out about this!” You picked up your plate with half a slice of toast left and took a seat opposite Steve as Dustin still stood shocked, playing with his walkie,

Steve finished up his food and stood up to put his plate in the sink, he looked at the calendar furrowing his brows slightly at the small writing, “Like seven months? Right?” he looked back at you as you nodded, your mouth full of toast.

Dustin once again stood dumbfounded, his mouth visibly agape as he pressed a button on his walkie, “you are not going to believe this, guys.”

Hawkins, Indiana, June 1985

“Oh, this is ridiculous.” You smoothed out part of your Scoops uniform that was now creased and bloody from your split lip and Steve’s as he was continuously hunching over you in a Russian loading car trying to gather his senses and not be knocked from pillar to post by Dustin’s driving up front, laughter bubbling in your throat, the situation was anything, but funny. All three of you (Steve, Y/N, and Robin) had been interrogated to the max, but once they found out there was a tie between you and Steve, they took advantage of that.

***

“Who do you work for?” the guard got down into your face once more, holding the arms of the chair you were tied to, his eyes glaring into your own,

“How many times do I have to tell you I work for Scoops Ahoy? I scoop ice cream for a living!” you cried out as you earned another slap across your already throbbing jaw. Steve was tied up behind you already passed out, they’d done a number on him and all you wanted to do was get out of this place and tend to his injuries, he didn’t deserve any of this. Robin was tied to the corner of the room having to witness her two new best friends being treated like this.

The Russian guard got in your face once more, “it looks like your friend here needs a doctor. Just as well we have the very best.” A smirk across his face made you see red, and without thinking you spat at him. A slight tinge of blood from your split lip was dripping down your chin, staining the collar of your uniform, “you’re going to regret that little one.” With that he muttered something else in Russian before leaving the room with the other guards, leaving you three on your own once more, but not without Robin calling them all bastards and yelling to let you all out of there.

“Steve?” you called gently as Robin tried to manoeuvre her arms from her binds to no avail. Unlike you two, she was tied to a bench so she couldn’t do much whilst she was bound up. Steve started to stir, pain evident in the way he groaned, “oh thank god... are you okay?” you asked quietly not wanting to be too loud,

“Ears are ringing, I can barely breathe and, my eye feels like it’s about to pop out of my skull, but apart from that I’m doing pretty good.” His voice was laced with pain and sarcasm.

***

You were pulled out of your thoughts as you came to an abrupt end, all three of you hitting already pained parts of your body as Dustin crashed into something,

“You guys alright back there?” Dustin asked as he looked to Erica with a slight shrug, “They’re fine, come on. Let’s go.” Dustin hurried out and opened the back of the loading car, hurrying you all out. Time was of the essence after all. This definitely made him think about how he acted sometimes, it was a handful and the fact you and Steve cared for him and all of his friends ample times made him furrow his brow slightly, not that he would change after they got out of this mess, he had an excuse, he was still younger than you.

 “Guys! Come on!” Dustin bellowed as he huffed in annoyance, slapping his wrist, and ushering everyone into the elevator.

“Oh my god! A skateboard!” you screamed out in joy, jumping on a red platform truck as Dustin got to work pressing buttons and hoping for the best, once the elevator started to move, you started to struggle. Steve grabbed hold of the platform truck to stop it from moving too much,

“It looks like you're surfing!” Robin pointed at you as Dustin and Erica glanced at each other quite clearly done with your shit.

“They look drunk,” Erica stated, all of you now splayed on the floor talking about food, “why are they drunk, or drugged?” she questioned as Dustin felt Steve’s forehead,

“He’s burning up,” Dustin spoke to Erica alarmed,

“You’re burning up” Steve bit back, trying to push Dustin away with his hand whilst you and Robin laughed at the ceiling,

 “Eyes are bloodshot, pupils dilated, Steve,” Dustin pat his cheek lightly, “are you drugged?”

“How many times, Dad? I don’t do drugs. It’s only marijuana.” Steve poked Dustin’s cheek and started laughing again as you and Robin shot up,

“you have marijuana?!” you crawled over to Steve and laid next to him, “gimme!” more laughs erupted from the three of you as Dustin and Erica watched on, wondering what the hell they were going to do to get you all out of this mess in one piece.

Getting you all back to the mall safely was a lot harder than Dustin could have imagined, Robin was picking at her uniform whilst tripping up over thin air whilst you and Steve were trailing behind humming and drumming the air to Simple Minds- Don’t You (Forget About Me) a song that had been on the radio continuously for the past month- a song Dustin thought you were both getting annoyed with as it came on the radio hours before you were in this mess and you were both scrambling with the radio to turn it off with rushed words of, fuck sake, turn it off, not this again, if I hear this song one more time I swear,

“Don’t you, forget about me.”

“Don’t, don’t, don’t, don’t.”

“Don’t you, forget about me.”

Keeping you all hidden from the Russians was a lot harder than it could have been, with you three wanting food, and then trying to separate to find food, Dustin thought of a quick solution and got you all into the movie theatre but not before Steve reached into the bin to pull out a bag of discarded popcorn,

“You three sit.” Dustin pointed at the three vacant chairs as you all complained about being too close, and how the seats sucked. “Well then don’t watch the movie!”

“But we want to watch the movie!” Robin exclaimed as other people around you started to get agitated,

“Then watch it!” Dustin apologised to other people trying to shush you all, changing his tone to a hushed annoyed whisper, “Whatever you do. Don’t... go... anywhere.”

“Fine, Dad.” Steve perked up shaking his shoulders slightly as you and Robin snickered, taking handfuls of popcorn and shoving it in your mouth.

“That settles it,” Dustin huffed, “I'm never having kids." The pair sat down a few seats away, keeping their eyes off you trying to fetch up a plan.

Once they both realised you three had left the movie theatre, Dustin let out an audible sigh from his chest, this day, was not it.

“So, like, I wasn’t totally focused in there or anything, but... I’m pretty sure...that mum was trying to bang her son.” Robin leaned against the wall as you and Steve took turns drinking water from the fountain,

“But they’re the same age.” you stopped drinking and looked towards Robin,

“No, but he went back in time.” Robin looked up to the ceiling, balancing on one foot and then the other,

“Then why is it called back to the future?” Steve asked confused as he stopped drinking, letting Robin get to the fountain.

“It doesn’t make any sense,” you stated “Back means past so how could he be travelling back to something that hasn’t even happened yet?” you questioned Robin, Steve looking at you doe-eyed, completely agreeing with you,

“He has to go back to the future because he’s in the past, so, the future is actually the present, which is his time” Robin added as you looked confused,

“wh...What?” you and Steve looked at each other astonished before you both got distracted by the ceiling lights, dizziness, and churning in your stomach had you all rushing to the toilet, bringing up everything that happened in the day.

“Well that was no fun,” your voice was harsh, your throat sore as you leaned back against the cold wall of the cubical, no longer dizzy, everything still, the walls no longer moving around you, “Back to the Future though, I can’t get over that.”

***

Hawkins, Indiana, March 1986

Walking into the creel house was way more disturbing than it looked outside, creaking floorboards, furnishings covered in dust and cobwebs, completely derelict, wherever you stood, something creaked.

Lucas went to check on a small lamp for some light, probably to take the edge off an already eerie situation, “looks like someone forgot to pay their electric bill.” He stated as Dustin turned on his flashlight, you and Steve stood behind him glancing back and forth to each other,

“Where’d everyone get those?” Steve asked noticing that everyone had one except you and him.

Dustin looked back at the both of you as if to say unbelievable, “Do you two need to be told everything? You’re not children.”

“Thank you.” You said under your breath a little, huffing as Dustin took his backpack off,

“Back pocket.” He was used to you both forgetting things like that, you were both usually good with weapons and things you might need, and everything you didn’t, but never flashlights. You really did need to be told.

Max pointed out a big grandfather clock, hoping that everyone else could see it taking you away from looking at the scattered furniture,

“Why is this wizard obsessed with clocks?” you asked looking at the hands that were still,

“Maybe he’s, like, a clockmaker or something?” Steve said next to you, as you pursed your lips actually thinking about it,

"I think you cracked the case, Steve.” Dustin chimed in, shaking his head in disapproval as you watched on, nudging Dustin slightly. Nancy told everyone to go in groups of two leaving you, Steve and a smiling Dustin. Steve let out a sigh and walked off signalling you to follow, “Was that a sigh?”

“No, I did not sigh.”

“Why’d you sigh?”

“I didn’t sigh. Just come on, dude.”

“I heard you.”

“We were just always partnered up with you, okay?”

“You have a problem with that?”

“It’d just be nice to, I don’t know, mix it up a bit.”

You continued to walk the stairs, creaking with every other step, as Dustin hurried up behind you, the pair of them starting to bicker a bit, a usual occurrence, “I’m boring to you? Is that it?”

“No it’s the opposite,” Steve added as he moved his (Dustin’s) flashlight around careful not to knock anything off the walls,

“Maybe me and Y/N should partner up and you go around this creepy house alone, is that what you want?” Dustin asked as Steve shot his head around almost tumbling back down the stairs,

“No! I don’t want that, sorry man.” Steve moved his hair that had fallen a little flat huffing once more. “We do make a good team, The Three Musketeers and all that.” You smiled at Steve’s remark, it was a book you both had to read when you were at school, though boring at the time, the lessons you learned from the book stayed with you. Chivalry, honour, heroics, and willingness. It was true. You, Steve, and Dustin probably had spent the most time together because even though you could both be a bit daft from time to time, you were both reliable and trustworthy with any problem Dustin had, even if that meant issues outside of the upside down. You both never found anything that Dustin had to say daft.

“Hey, uh, Henderson?” Steve asked, looking at the cobwebs that littered the place, “could you maybe, uh, clarify what sort of clues we’re supposed to be looking for here?”

“I second that,” you cut in,

“The world is full of obvious things which nobody by any chance ever observes.” Dustin looked back at the both of you smiling, “Sherlock Holmes.” Seeing you both confused he huffed sincerely.

“That’s great. Thanks. That’s great. Really helpful” You huffed and shook your head, feeling dumb as Steve placed a hand on your shoulder, rubbing his thumb slowly, a knowing glance only the both of you understood.

“You're not stupid, not to me anyway.” Steve smiled as a small laugh escaped your lips a small vent in the floor catching your eyeline as you walked over to it, “Y/N, let me.” Steve crouched down in front of you lifting the metal from the floor, jars of preserved insects had you grimacing before Steve shot up alarmed, shaking his arm and flailing his hand to get a spider off, both of you clumsily falling through cobwebs and the door, into Nancy,

“Hey, hey, both of you, stay still. Stop moving.” She took time to rid you both of cobwebs as she lightly dusted dust off your arm, you and Steve then looking over each other,

“It was a black widow.” Steve lets out a breath of air, calmer than he was before, “Don’t go in there.” He shut the door adverting his attention back to you, moving a stray piece of your hair behind your ear, kissing your nose lightly. “So uh, Nance. Maybe after we find Vecna, kill him, save the world, and stuff. Maybe we can all go out. You know? Me, Y/N, you, Jonathan, when he’s back.”

“I’d love to.” Nancy looked at you both endearingly, she was glad you both had each other. Everyone needed someone. She knew you both back in school, but never really spoke to either of you. She was too wrapped up in perfecting her grades, reading the next book on the shelf, but she was so thankful to be in your lives now.

Steve was finally with someone he could be himself around without feeling bad or awkward, even in this messed up world the both of you bounced off each other as though it were effortless. Although you were sometimes the biggest idiots, you were the biggest idiots in love.

[whitedragonwolf4961]

The signs were there…

The signs were there all along… that the fucking hacks were ruining this beautiful, amazing, complex character long before the shit season. I know those dumb as shit incompetent hacks and some of the cast of GoT (do they actually believe that shit or were they toeing the line?) in their condescending manner told us that the “signs” were there all along about Dany “going mad”. They are right but not for the reasons they think they are. The signs were there… that D&D were ruining Dany’s character long before that putrid shitshow that was Season 8. When you reread the books and remember or rewatch the show, you can see. As early as S1, they were giving many of Dany’s strong or intelligent or kind and merciful moments to the males around her. It was her who took Viserys’s horse away from him to show how she has grown stronger and is no longer as afraid of him as she once was. In the show they gave it to Rhakaro. In S2 they had Jorah tell Dany she must be her people’s strength and then Dany told Jorah “as you are mine”. Contrast that where in the books Dany told herself she must be her people’s strength, including Jorah. And they gave Dany’s meeting with Quaithe to freaking Jorah! There is the fact that the hacks couldn’t have women talking for two minutes without insulting each other (directly or subtly). And then they gave her intelligent strategies to her male advisers in S3 and 4. And of course had her rely on the incompetence dumbass Show Tyrion for strategy completely in S7, ignoring the advice of her allies (who were all females). And to make her look worse, they had Barristan tell her “it’s better to answer injustice with mercy” when she had those masters crucified for what they did to the children (and of course add “nice and innocent slavers”). No surprise to find out that they omitted that Dany specifically ordered them to give up their leaders aka the ones who obviously ordered it, in the books. And how Dany is told by her advisers to be more violent and ruthless, instead of them “tempering her worst impulses” (I fucking hate that sexist fucking line). Dany is the one who wants to be as merciful and nonviolent as possible. A little off topic, I think Dany needs to become more ruthless. I think GRRM was trying to show that while it shows Dany’s good heart that she tried to be compromising, you cannot compromise with slavers. If she wants to utterly destroy slavery she will need to be more ruthless and that is not a bad thing at all.

Anyway, besides giving most of Dany’s best moments to the males around her, the fucking hacks were changing things when they still followed the books (for a given definition of “follow”) as well as adding ridiculous crap. It’s most blatant in her S2 storyline. The Thirteen immediately invite Dany into Qarth because they sought her out. But the hacks had Dany be condescendingly talked to by the show only Spice King and refused entry. So they could have her shout “We will lay waste to armies and burn cities to the ground”. I know a lot of dumb idiots will use that line as “proof” but it was a stupid addition by the two hacks so they could make Dany look bad. And then they had Dany’s Dothraki people slaughtered. They had Irri murdered. They took away Dany’s female companionship (until Missandei). And speaking of Irri, who killed her? Doreah! Yeah! They had Doreah out of literally nowhere with zero explanation or reason betray Dany and murder Irri (like I said, Dumb&Dumber can’t stand female friendships. They think women are only good for insulting and killing each other). Looks like the later seasons weren’t the start of them inventing stupid plot points out of nowhere. And I guess they wanted to make Dany look cruel for locking Doreah and Xaro in the vault. Know what she does to them in the books? Nothing. Well not exactly nothing. Doreah dies in the Red Waste and Dany holds her and gives her water from her own waterskin and refuses to move until Doreah has passed. And Xaro is still alive in the books. Because Xaro and Pree never stole her dragons in the books (another stupid show invention). And then later, as I previously mentioned, they invented “innocent slave masters” that Dany crucified like Hizdahr’s daddy. Nothing like that is brought up in the books. Oh, and they decided to kill off Ser Barristan in S5! Even though Barristan is alive and well and gladly serving Dany in the books and knowing she’s nothing like her father. Which the actor pointed out. And it only made those scumbags want to do it even more. And then after his (very stupid) death, Dany burns a slave master. And that stupid awful behind the scenes book after the shit season, Fire Cannot Kill a Dragon has that moron Cogman bring that up about how Dany didn’t care if he was innocent or not (they really had a thing about “innocent slave masters”). None of that crap ever happens in the books.

They also changed small but important parts. Never let Dany have a crown like I mentioned. They also had Dany sit on top of the stairs in Mereen, when she insists on sitting at the bottom on a simple bench because she wants to be on an equal level with her people. Heck an illustrator had to be corrected by GRRM when she was showing that (does anyone have a picture or article about that?). They also never really showed her bond with her other dragons. In the books she loves and pays attention to all of them, in particular Viserion who always wants to be petted by her. In the show, she only really pays attention to Drogon mostly. Rhaegal and Viserion were reduced to “the two smaller different colored dragons” (to be stupidly killed off later on in stupid asinine ways). And Dany’s relationship with Daario is changed. Daario is made to be the one in love and Dany “feels nothing” when she ends their relationship. In the books Dany has a huge crush on Daario but Daario only really wants her for her crown and title, not the girl she is. And Dany knows this. And Jorah is changed into this super nice guy who is always giving her wisdom instead of this creep who is trying to isolate her from other men so she’ll only rely on him.

And when they stopped following the books? Well they really weren’t bothering to hide it much anymore. In S6, they have that idiot Show Tyrion talk about how Dany was “wrong” for not building a new system (and Tyrion is portrayed as smart for not wanting to change the way of the world even though that’s what Dany wants to do). So Tyrion wants slavery to continue for seven years (which the idiot says is a “short time”). And most disgustingly, they had him tell Missandei and Gray Worm, who were slaves their whole lives, that he now “knows the horrors of it”. A white rich guy telling two people of color that he knows about slavery… (am I looking at it too much?) Anyway, when that predictably backfires (why the hell were they always having people talk about how smart Tyrion is and Dany needs to listen to him when all he’s ever done is fail?) and Dany returns to Mereen, they have Dany talk about “returning cities to the dirt” so Tyrion can give her a more merciful strategy. And then in S7… have her rely only on Tyrion and his stupid plans. And if she dared to want to just end it quickly, they told her she would be just like her father. They even had that dumb weak idiot Show Jon say that. Book Jon would bitch slap that idiot. Book Jon wants to bring destruction to House Lannister.

Speaking of which… that scene where she meets Jon. It was funny how Dany had all her many titles spoken by Missandei when all Davos said about Jon is “He’s King in the North”, right? Well… I think those hacks wanted Show Jon to be this humble “noble king” while Dany is this “arrogant Queen with all these titles”. And they also want Dany to come as arrogant and entitled so they have her talk about all the shit she went through (like getting raped and betrayed and sold to sexual slavery) and how faith in herself kept her going. Now to the sane layman, that is a strong woman giving herself credit for believing in herself and using her strength to forge something better for herself. But to Dumb&Dumber that is an arrogant and selfish woman not crediting her abusers for her strength. Gosh I loathe Show Sansa but NO ONE deserves to be raped and to have her credit her rapist for her strength is just… wrong. In every way possible.

Then there was that crap with the Tarlys. Those idiots wanted us to see Dany as doing something evil and wrong. Actually they wanted us to see that whole battle as “wrong”. Because they have that tragic music playing and Tyrion looking sadly. The same guy who watched thousands burn in wildfire that he himself laid out. Where was the sad music then? Anyway Dany does what literally not just every King and Queen does but what ever highborn period does after defeating the enemy. She offers them the choice to bend the knee and live and keep their lands. Or death. Same choice Robert Baratheon offered Balon Greyjoy. Same choice the old Stark kings offered their rivals. The two Tarlys choose death so Dany executed them despite multiple chances. And immediately Varys starts comparing her to her father. Except her father (and people like Ramsay Snow, Tywin Lannister, Gregor Clegane, and Euron Greyjoy) wouldn’t have given multiple chances. They would have given no offers. Just murdered them all (Ramsay, Gregor, and Euron simply for their sadistic pleasure). And then they had Jon look uncomfortable when Dany said she had fewer enemies. Which is stupid. Jon has fought battles before. He’s killed thousands to take Winterfell back as Dany herself reminds him.

And they even had it said that Aegon the Conqueror started “the wheel” and got along far with fear. Except… yes Aegon was ruthless when he had to be, but as King he unified a country that was divided and plagued by constant conflicts. He gave them peace and prosperity. And he and his wives were the first to get rid of some unsavory practices. The hacks were determined to have us think that all Targaryens were “mad tyrants”. Idiots would have us think the Starks were democratically chosen leaders instead of ruthless warlords who conquered the North. They never understood the story or the characters. And the signs were there all along that they were ruining and destroying one of the greatest female characters in fictional history.

Longest post I ever wrote! I didn’t cover S8 because nothing needs to be said about that putrid shitshow. But let me end with this. I fully believe that not only will GRRM finish the books… he will give Dany a great and satisfying ending. I hope she becomes Queen but I will perfectly settle for her being alive and well. I have every confidence that she will not get that disgusting show ending. That was a shitty sexist plot point done purely for shock value. But… I guess the signs were there that those hacks never understood or respected Dany. But there are signs that George has great things planned for our beloved Dany. And then that is how she will be remembered. I’m gonna keep believing and hoping. Someone has to, and I will happily be that person. PS: Can people please tell me what they think of all this? Any questions? I’ll happily answer! And reblogs are perfectly acceptable and encouraged! I’d love to hear your thoughts and you can add anything you want.

[phoward89]

Happy (late) 420! I tried to get this out yesterday, but that didn't happen. Anyways, here's some Dealer!Coryo x Reader in honor of 420.

Weed, drugs, guns, cussing, Coriolanus Snow being Coriolanus Snow, p in v, slight degradation?, um that's bout it

Series Masterlist

Chapter 1:

“Your brother's drunk again?” Coryo, your weed dealer and fuck buddy, asked as he flung the door to his section 8 apartment open as soon as he saw you thru the peephole. 

He knew what was wrong with you just by the sullen look on your face. Anytime you had that look on your face it was because your brother was either drunk and fighting with you or your ex (who Coryo nearly beat to death after the last time he cheated on you- which if you ask the dealer shouldn't have happened cause only a fucking idiot would stick their cock in a skeezy cunt when they've got your perfect, tight cunt to fuck on the regular) did something (like cheat) to upset you. 

After getting beat within an inch of his life, your ex skipped town. Rumor has it that he went to California. So, Coriolanus knows that there's only one reason you're on his doorstep looking like an anxious mess: your brother, Rein.

“Yep.” You popped your tongue.

“Come in.” Coriolanus ordered, moving aside to make room for you to enter his shithole. As you walked by him and into the apartment that smells heavily of cigarettes, weed, incense, and rose scented glade plug-ins, your favorite drug dealer announced with a lopsided smirk, “I was just ‘bout to roll a joint.”, while shutting and bolting the door.

“It's been a while since I smoked. I could use a few hits to calm down.” You admitted, making a beeline to the lumpy couch and in extension the glass coffee table nestled right in front of it.

A glass coffee table with chipped corners that was cluttered so much that the glass could barely be seen. It was a cluttered mess of magazines, rolling papers, plastic sandwich baggies, large bags of weed, a scale, a few empty beer bottles, an empty chip bag, a red solo cup, zippo, and a cheap ashtray.

Sometimes you wonder about Coryo, who could be a dead ringer for Eminem. Hell, his looks got him the nickname of Paneminem. You know, cause he's the Slim Shady of your small bumfuck Colorado town of Panem. 

A town that both you and Coriolanus Snow, known to a very small select few as Coryo, hate with a passion. 

But, anyways, sometimes you wonder about the dealer with the platinum buzzcut (which you were shocked to find out was his natural hair color) that lives alone. He doesn't have a lot of friends and the only family he's got is a cousin, Tigris, that's a stripper at Pluribus’ club. But they had some kind of falling out after he got a dishonorable discharge from the army and barely talk anymore.

And you only know about Tigris and his brief stint in the military cause you curiously asked him about his dog tags, chewing on the corner of them during a half-high afterglow while cuddling with him.

“What dumb shit did Rein do this time, baby girl?” The hardened drug dealer asked, following you over to the sofa. A sofa that has a board under it to level and prop up the saggy seat cushions.

“He’s pissed that I got laid off and can't find another job.” You told Coryo as the two of you sat down on the couch, making it dip under your combined weight.

“So, does that mean you're gonna start helping your favorite dealer sling shit for cash?” Coriolanus slightly chuckled, slipping his hand underneath the hem of his oversized white T-shirt and pulling his gun out of the waistband of his baggy jeans; placing it down on the coffee table.

You've seen the black Glock so many times, gosh it must be at least 50 by now, since you started buying weed and hooking up with Coryo. Him handling the weapon around you doesn't even phase you anymore. It should. It really should, especially since you weren't raised around guns or violence- but apparently the more time you spend around Snow (Coryo's surname and one of his street names- the other being Snowball) the more you're being corrupted by him.

Unknown to you, Coryo doesn't want you to become corrupted by him. He thinks you're a really sweet girl that had some shit luck of being abandoned by your mom and raised hovering above the poverty line by your much older half-brother and his girlfriend. Despite your crappy conditions, you’re as sweet as honey. Or at least to Coriolanus you are.

For some reason, the hardened drug dealer that's a couple of years older than you wants to keep you safe from any and all dangers in the world. Hell, Snow's not supposed to have feelings for you, a girl that occasionally buys weed from him; comes over to his place to vent about her life, but he does.

And that's not good because feelings are dangerous in his world. The drug underworld. The side of town, hell life, that decent people don't see. 

Coryo's got people that would love to put a bullet in him; the cops also want to lock him up for at least half his life too. Having you around him so much, getting wrapped up in shit isn't good at all. It's not good for you or for him. It'll only end up bad and in heartbreak.

And Snow can't have that. Oh, he has to protect you from his world. The world of drugs and all other illicit activities that transpire in the criminal underworld. You're just too sweet to have as a permanent fixture in his life, which is why he doesn't hang with you unless you're buying weed from him. He won't actively seek you out, despite the fact that you always bring a smile to face and warm his cold, black, dead, frostbitten heart.

“Coryo, you're my only dealer.” You dryly remind him, watching as he perches on the edge of his couch; leaning forward to grab the items he needs from his chipped coffee table to roll the joint with. “And no, I'm not gonna help you deal.”

“Only dealer, favorite dealer: same thing from how I look at it.” Coriolanus retorts while his long fingers nimbly work to fill and roll a joint for the two of you to share. “It was a joke, baby. I wasn't serious.” Your dealer dryly told you before giving out a lecture of, “My line of work’s dangerous, babe. I'd never send you out into that shit just to make a buck.” Waggling a long weed scented finger in your face, he added in, “And I would've fucked some goddamn sense into you if you’d agreed to my fake offer.”

You’re not stupid, you know that Coryo’s not just a weed dealer, but that he sells some hard shit and it makes his job- hell his life- dangerous. But you don't care. You accept him as he is. You're not trying to fix him; you're fine with him the way he is. You're also fine with being his customer/sorta friends with benefits.

You know that Coryo has a lockbox full of various pills and coke that he deals. The box is shoved in the side table, that looks like a weird ass octagon, caddy cornered between his sofa and a heavily duct taped easy chair. You saw it once when you were over, crying about being cheated on by your ex and needing some weed (and maybe some big dick) pronto to make you feel better and calm you down. 

Coryo had a customer he needed to meet and sell some powder to, so he prepared the crap right in front of you. After cutting the white powder finely with a credit card (that you're sure he stole from somebody) and portioning it up in a baggie, he made you swear to never touch the hard shit. He even said that he'd shoot whoever dares to give you the shit right between the eyes if he ever found out that you dabbled in the hard shit.

And then he sent you on your way with a few joints and a promise that he'd stop by to check up on you; see if you need anymore post getting cheated on weed to help feel better with. He kept good on that promise, he stopped by and took you out for a ride. A ride that ended with you desperately riding his cock in the backseat of his car- which was parked in some alleyway in a seedy part of town.

“Calm down, Coryo. God, don’t pop a vein over there.” You sarcastically tell the platinum blonde while he finishes rolling the joint. Watching him pick up his zippo off the table, you assure him.“You don't need to worry about me being in danger from the big bag drug dealers; I'll only make my money legally.”

“Y/N…” Snow mumbled warningly, slipping the joint between his lush lips and lighting up. Taking his first hit, he sighs, “The more you hang ‘round here, baby girl, the more you might be putting your sweet lil ass in danger.” 

“I’m a big girl, Snowball. I can take care of myself, plus I trust you and know that you'd never hurt me.” You said, watching him take his second hit. 

Passing the joint over to you, he dead ass says, “I got enemies; if they think we're a thing they'll fuck you up to get to me.” Shaking his head, he leans his elbows on his knees (of course he was manspreading- he always does when sitting on the sofa). “Cops would haul you in; jam you up just to try and catch my ass.”

Your brows furrow at his words. At their implications.

“So, what, you don't want me coming ‘round anymore?” You asked, brushing your fingertips against his rough, calloused ones as you took the joint from him. “Want me to find somebody new to buy weed from?” You took your first hit, coughing slightly. “Maybe I'll drive a couple hours to Denver and buy from a regulated dealer: from the man.” You threatened, taking your second hit and passing the joint to the broad shouldered man next to you.

“You're not driving down there for weed. You hear me?” Coryo sternly ordered before taking a deep hit off the joint.

“Then don't say you don't want me around, Coryo.” You countered, watching your dealer sexily blow a large billowing cloud of smoke from his perfect O shaped mouth.

“I didn't say that, babe.” Coryo snapped, his voice a bit hoarse from smoking weed all day (or at least you think he's been smoking all day). “I don't wanna have a heavy talk while smoking. Let's table this for now, yea?” He told you before taking a second, even longer hit from the joint perfectly pinched between his thumb and forefinger.

“Yea, my life's stressful enough.” You agreed, taking the offered joint from Coriolanus as soon as he exhaled a lungful of smoke.

Coryo didn't say a word, just leaned back into his couch and snaked an arm to rest behind you. He gave you a lazy thin lipped smile as you took your hit. His icy eyes, usually void of emotions, were shinning with fondness as he watched you instead of whatever bullshit was on his tv. 

A very nice large flatscreen that somebody gave him for payment. Fuck, the damn thing was worth nearly a grand since it was some top of the line Samsung smart tv. Snow knew it must've fallen out the back of a truck, but he didn't give a shit. Meant he didn't have to use he crappy tablet to watch stuff anymore.

But instead of watching tv, his attention was on you. God, Coriolanus loves watching you smoke. He thinks you're so sexy when you smoke. This cute, lil sweetheart taking in a large burning lungful and letting it waft out of your mouth expertly. 

It turned him on.

“It's not polite to stare, Coryo.” You remind the menacing man next to you, your tone a bit teasing, while passing him the joint after finishing your hits.

“I'm not staring, so don't know what your talking about.” He firmly denied, acting like he wasn't just caught ogling your gloss coated lips, while taking the joint.

You're starting to feel a bit hazy from the weed, unlike Coryo you don't smoke around the clock so a few hits mellows you out quickly, and lean your head against his shoulder.

“Your such a fucking lightweight.” The platinum blonde chuckles, shaking his head with a hint of an taunting smirk on his lips. 

“Not everyone can smoke and fuck all day, Snowball.”

“I don't smoke and fuck all day. I'll let you know that if I don't sling my shit then I ain't making any bank.” Coryo sneered, sounding a bit insulted by your remark, before taking a quick hit and holding the joint out to you.

Your fingertips brush over his, sending shockwaves through both of your buzzed bodies, as you take his offering. “You know, I'm still having a dry spell.” You reluctantly sigh between taking your two puffs and passing him back the joint.

Coryo's not stupid, he knows why you've been having problems finding somebody to hookup with let alone date. Word on the street is that he's sweet on you. That you’re Snowball's baby. Or at least Plinth and Creed, his only friends that are also dealers, told him that's the word.

Been the word since somebody saw you and him at some house party few weeks back- disappearing into a bathroom together for a good 15 minutes or so (yea, long enough to fuck).

“Maybe I can do something ‘bout it then, yea?”

“Maybe.” You coyly shrugged.

Even tho both you and Coryo knew that as soon as the joint turned into a roach; was snubbed into the ash trash, you'd be making out and undressing each other on his sofa.

“Hmmm…Coryo, that feels so good…” You loudly moan, feeling your cunt twitch and grow wetter, as you ride Coryo's cock.

Coryo's sucking on one of your titties while roughly squeezing the other in his large, calloused hand. His other hand is holding onto your ass like it's the most prized jewel into the entire world. 

“God, Coryo, I needed your cock so bad.” You admit to him, your voice nothing more than a pathetic mewl, as your wrap your arms around his neck- one hand pressing into the back of his platinum buzzcut while the other holds the back of his neck- while you leverage yourself to bounce faster on his dick.

His cock, very long and thick with veins that catch every velvety piece of your walls, fills your cunt up perfectly; turns you into a whinny mess. His tip hits against your cervix, causing the coil to begin to tighten inside of your lower body with every move. And the way his cock presses into your g-spot just right- oh fuck he's completely ruined you for men.

Whether you want to admit it or not, you're addicted to Coryo's cock. He's the only man that can fuck you just right. God, you would be all hot and bothered over your dealer.

Your nipple falls from Coryo's mouth with a loud, wet pop. He looks up at you, baby blues smoldering midnight with lust, and slaps your ass. “Fuck, baby. Ride my cock, ride my cock like the lil slut you are.” His hand slides over your chest, leaving one tit and going to kneed the other, as he lands two quick slaps to your ass. “Baby, your cunt feels so tight and good. Ride me, baby, ride me.”

“Fuck…Coryo…think I'm gonna cum.” You breathing tell him, forehead pressing down against his; hair curtains around your faces, as you grind your hips faster against his.

“Yea?” He asks, his voice heavy from lust and hoarse from smoking weed, as he places his hands on either of your hips. “Hold on, baby. I'll make ya cum.” Coryo tilts his chin up, sloppily kissing you, before digging his fingers into the meat of your hips and thrusting fast and hard up into you.

“Fuck!” You scream, feeling your insides literally getting rearranged, as Coriolanus’ cock plunges deep inside of you. Deeper then you’ve ever felt it before (and that's saying something since the man’s cock always leaves an imprint in your lower stomach everytime you fuck) and it's making you see stars. 

Your arms are tightly wrapped around Coryo's neck in a vice grip as he pounds up into your cunt at such a strong, punishing pace. He's fucking you so hard and good that you can feel the rubber band inside of you get ready to snap. “Coryo…I'm gonna cum.” 

“Cum, baby. Be my good lil slut and cum on my cock.” Coryo orders, his baritone rough and raw, as he presses you against his chest while bucking his hips at lightning speed.

And you do. You cum hard, moaning a string of curses mixed with Coryo's name, before leaning limply against him and panting to catch your breath. Your head's pressed into the crook of his neck and he's now holding holding your back to keep you afloat while chasing his own high. Coryo pistons his cock in and out of you quickly before groaning a couple fucks and your name while shooting his hot load of thick pearly ropes of cum deep into your cunt.

“Damn…” Coryo trailed off, his chest heaving as he tries to catch his breath.

Your head's still resting in the crook of his neck as you unwrap one of your arms from around his neck. Running your hand up and down his toned chest, you blurt out, “I'm hungry.”

“Of course, you get the munchies now.” Coryo scoffs, shaking his head. “I got some pizza rolls in the freezer, I'll nuke us some in a lil bit. Okay, babe?” He offered while trying to enjoy his blazed out afterglow moment with you. 

Honestly, he just wanted you to cockwarm him for a while because he didn't know when you'd be in that position again. 

And Coryo knows that he's going to have to cut you loose eventually. You're a liability in his line of work. Snow, the cold hearted drug dealer that doesn't think twice about popping a cap in somebody's ass, has a soft spot for you. Hell, to be honest he cares for you.

He cares a lot.

And that's dangerous. Feelings are a weakness that he can't afford in his life. The thought of you being used against him makes him sick.

And Coriolanus will never forgive himself if something bad happened to you because of him.

He knows that he'll have to cut you loose soon. Put his combat boot covered foot down; lay down some rules for the two of you to abide by. Something like he'll drop your weed off at your house then leave type of deal.

But right now, for a few minutes, he just wants to bask in your warmth.

And for right now, you're Snowball's baby.

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[skill7spark04]

PEOPLE DON'T FORGET THE PLATONIC LOVE INSIDE ROMANTIC LOVE. BRO you can be in love with someone romantically, or in lust with someone sexually, but some relationships are just so chock full of platonic love that Romantic love blooms from it. where's the two idiots playing video games and laughing their asses off, shooting the shit about the dumb stuff they saw, only to wind down after and enjoy a nice calm dinner of Pizza and Beer. then they fall asleep in each other's arms in the big fluffy blanket. where's that guy that's late for work, get's picked up, and keep fucking with his partnerss stereo while they're driving, leading to a heated argument about who gets to pick the music before they both come to an agreement on a station they like and start singing Happy by Pharrell Williams like two idiots on the way to the office. and the boyfriend goes back and makes HOT DOG MAC'N'CHEESE!? or what about the Two chicks sitting at the cafe, pointing out all the pretty ladies to one another and criticizing them out of boredom, then ordering a cute shared drink, only to fight about who drank more and that it wasn't fair because it wasn't evenly split. being friends with your lover isn't required. but their relationships are SO FUCKING ENTERTAINING please WRITE MORE. PLEASE. ... okay one more. a silly girl is working on her army of machines when her boyfriend walks in and drops a blanket over her head, causing a hilarious chain of events that end with him trying not to die of laughing and her fuming her little greasy head off about him nearly ruining her work. and then they kiss.

[captain-mj]

omg i thought of this while in the resturant! (We were ehatchign fail army and they were doing scare pranks)

and i thought like "what if soap tried to scare ghoast?"

this could go two ways

ghost isnt fazed at all

or

2. ghost reacts poorly and ends up hurting johnny or worse..

Apologies for being so absent! Here ya go!

Ghost disliked pranks. Ever since his little brother used to scare him with the mask, they just rubbed him the wrong ways. Even the innocent ones like putting salt in the sugar so it would ruin his tea were enough to spark up old anger issues.

Obviously, this went against what the 141 knew him as when it comes down to humor. While outsiders would think a prank on Ghost would end with their heads on pikes, they also didn't know he liked dad jokes and dumb one liners.

So when Gaz and Soap started their prank war, they automatically included Ghost. In retrospect, Ghost really should've sat them down and said no with a little more force, instead of brushing them off and assuming they'd get the picture. But he thought it was over by now and he doubted they'd actually do anything again after he told them he wasn't interested.

Ghost had no way of knowing the man that jumped out at him, a spur of the moment idea on Soap's part and not something planned, as he doubted he could really sneak up on Ghost on purpose, was not going to stab him immediately. Luckily, he had been unarmed, so Soap did not end up with a gaping wound in his throat. Instead, Ghost backhanded him hard enough for his teeth to rattle in his skull.

Soap hit the ground hard and Ghost felt the adrenaline rush through his veins like he got hit by a stim. Giant blue eyes, apologetic but also shocked, blinked up at him.

Ghost wanted to hurt him. Soap must've seen it, but he didn't run. What an idiot.

Ghost turned away and took a deep breath. Noticing just now a very, very startled Gaz and Price.

Price quickly helped Soap up, glancing at Ghost like he might fly off the handle.

Soap took a breath when he got up and slowly let it out. "Hurts like a bitch, but I'm alright, Captain. You okay Simon?"

"I just almost cost you some teeth and you're asking me if I'm alright?"

"Your hands are shaking. You're breathing heavy. Thought you were having a panic attack for a minute."

Ghost shook his head. "You two are like fucking little brother. Always getting yourselves into fucking trouble. Either of you pull that shit again, I'm not stopping at one fucking hit." He hissed it at them and stomped off.

His hands were shaking.

He couldn't tell if he felt more angry at Soap for startling him, himself for getting startled and hitting him or if it was just embarrassment at the whole situation.

Soap found him in his hiding spot. "Simon?"

Ghost sighed. "I'm not going to apologize."

"Neither am I. I'll say getting bitch slapped makes us even." He pulled himself up into the perch. It was hard to get to and overlooked everything.

"I didn't actually hurt you, did I?"

"Nae. Put some ice on it and I was good as rain. Glad you didn't have any rings on though." He smiled but Ghost could see the imprint of the back of his hand. "Did I get you that bad?"

Ghost sighed. "Reminded me of someone."

"Your little brother. So you said. I hope you don't actually think we're alike considering you've kissed me."

Ghost made a face and even through the mask, Soap could tell. "He used to do shit like that. Jump out at me. Fucking hated it. And you're not getting another fucking kiss from me until I know for a fact you're both leaving me out of your little prank thing."

"I can't control Gaz!"

"Learn to."

Soap sighed. "You're breaking my heart, Simon." He smiled at him though, knowing the kiss embargo wouldn't last. "Alright. Changed my mind. I am sorry for scaring you. I know you. While I don't think I could've predicted the backhand, I could've predicted your reaction wouldn't be pleasant."

Ghost sighed loudly and Soap tilted his head. "What's wrong?"

"I hate how weirdly emotionally mature you can get, Johnny." He grabbed him and forced him to turn his head. "I'm sorry too."

"Kiss it better?"

Ghost glared at him before giving him a small kiss through the mask. "There. Fucking bastard."

[charsui]

You'll never guess who's drunk live blogging One Piece and I gotta preface this with I accept the head canon that Crocodile is Luffys mother who transitioned thanks to Iva's powers.

I feel sorry for this dude, so you have a child with the leader of the revolutionary army. You leave that kid, get your transition on, (or have already transitioned and just not had bottom surgery) and work to become a warlord of the sea. You start Baroque Works, own a casino, almost take over a country.

Then out of nowhere, your idiot son appears out of nowhere to start thwarting your plan. So, in retaliation to not give away who you are, but you still love the moron, you give a non-fatal stabbing to him so he learns not to be a shit. You move on, go back to the casino you own, start working with your assistant and try to acquire a WMD.

Two days later your dumb as bricks kid shows up again to thwart your plans and gets you put in prison. You lose your warlord-ship, you lose your casino, the country is free, and your next in command has joined your son's crew. Okay, this sucks. But when in prison you start to feel like because you're feared enough you're beyond safe, you're the big dog in this pen and make it your home for a little bit. No sooner are you enjoying your stay but your motherfucking son appears AGAIN, shouting about his brother because apparently he adopted a brother while he was away on the island you left him on and this brother is the second in command to the strongest pirate on the sea.

Your son springs you from prison with the help of a bunch of flamboyant queers (I feel like Crocodile fits that thing that cis gay men can do of separating their gay identity from the larger queer community and sees his respectability to the hetero community called into question when he sees himself connected to the more ambiguous community members like Iva, Bon Clay, etc) and now you're no longer where you'd become comfortable and you're going to war with the government.

You decide to change career paths and aim for King of the Pirates and see Whitebeard, the most likely candidate, right there for the assassinating. You go to strike with surprise and... It's your goddamned kid again defending him.

You literally cannot catch a break and you know it's your own son that is the root of all your problems no matter how much you love him.

[dontbesoweirdkira]

For a cunty request can I have a time traveler reader with any of mafia? Maybe Vico or Tommy?

A/N: oh this is going to be hilarious! Thank you for requesting…stay cunty😘✨ (hopefully I did your idea some justice. I didn’t entirely know what scenario you wanted so just some general thoughts)

Warnings: ⚠️a little bit of Joe Barbaro ⚠️

Masterlist

Requests: open 24/7

I’ve chosen Vito because have you ever seen those memes where it’s like, “a victorian child would probably have an aneurysm over this”, yeah…that would be Tommy if you appeared in his timeline

Like that man is stressed the hell out enough! Don’t go ruining his life further with your shenanigans.

Besides Vito would definitely take this far better than anyone else with the exception of the characters from mafia iii. My brother has been to prison, shipped out to war, and now suddenly in the mob…he’s definitely seen some unspeakable shit..

Every soldier has at least one paranormal experience…for him it just happened to be your dumb ass.

He’s not amused by you in the slightest at first..what the fuck is an iPhone and why are you dressed like an idiot? Are you high on something or just unwell?????

“Look Lady, I really don’t have time for this shit and I have places to be. If you need something there’s a Salvation Army right down the block..”

Of course you keep persisting that you’re perfectly fine and that you’re actually from the future. I can just imagine Vito speed walking away with an exasperated expression plastered across his face; you're just continuing to spew nonsense as you follow him.

“I-I don’t want to hear you talk about your fucking bullshit future! Please just go away.”

This man’s blood pressure is through the roof at this point. He’s even trying to physically shoo you away, if it wasn’t for his background he would’ve taken you to the police department.

“Okay do you want a dollar? Huh, will that make you finally stop yapping?? Actually, here take 20 and go away.”

Eventually he just gives up. You’re the most hard headed individual he’s ever encountered and he let’s you follow him. You’re obviously not giving this up.

Partly thinks this is some kind of prank Joe set up to get back at him.

So naturally his first instinct is go go find Joe because if he has to hear the crazy shit you’re spewing, so does he.

Worst. Mistake. Ever.

At first Joe is also trying to get you to leave his buddy alone. Even offering you money just like Vito did earlier but then a light bulb goes off!

Joe’s main mission in life is to piss off Vito and for him…golden opportunity right here for free.

“Sooo…Y/N was it? Tell me, if you are from the future, will Vito always be this fugly?”

“Oh shut the hell up for once would ya? This is a serious situation we have on our hands and you think this is the time to be making jokes??”

“Maybe not fugly but he will end up being a grumpy old man with no wife or kids.”

Joe absolutely loves you and you’re now besties

“Oohhhh no. You two will not be in cahoots!! Joe stop fucking around.”

Don’t worry, Vito eventually comes around to you. He kind of has to now that Joe is riding this thing so hard.

Neither one of them truly believes you though. At least not at first. It’s kind of difficult to prove until the event you’re warning them about actually comes to pass.

You are able to tell them extremely detailed facts and information about themselves and the mafia. You warn them about Henry and give tips about different tasks.

This made them suspicious of you and blew you off as some kind of narc for knowing so damn much. It wasn’t until things started becoming true, they came running right back to you.

They’re both feeling a mixture of excitement, concern and confusion.

Joe doesn’t understand that you only know main historical events and wants you to give him the winning numbers to the lottery.

Vito on the other hand thinks you’re some sort of crazy psychic or maybe one of them aliens from the film he had just seen.

Either way you’re definitely not from here.

Ultimately Vito doesn’t entirely know how to handle all of this. I don’t think anyone would ever be able to fully process this happening. After all you’ve predicted and protected him from, he just accepts that you’re who you say you are.

You’re not a threat to him and Joe seems to really enjoy having you around so I guess he doesn’t really mind you either. He lets you stay at his place too. It’s the least he could do after all your help and the shit he gave.

At least you’re not as bad as that kid, Marty.

[stele3]

A History of (Supposed) Violence: Every Jason Todd Kill, part 6

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 | Part 5

Foreword: Jason Todd kills people. But has he killed as many people as fandom thinks he has? I'm starting to think the answer is a resounding no. Therefore, I am starting this series to list every single one of Jason Todd's on-page, confirmed kills, and -- to be fair -- all of the heavily-implied and attemped ones, too.

Caveat: I have not read every single comic featuring Jason Todd. But by God, by the end of this series, I will have. Do not send me angry messages telling me I have forgotten this glaring example of his murderous ways. I am moving in deliberate, exhaustive, chronological order. I will get to it.

Part 6: Countdown to Infinite Crisis

Look. I am but a humble weirdo. I don't know jack shit about the wider DC universe and I don't especially want to. There are a lot of people running around in this series that I simply don't know anything about. If I refer to them by such codenames as "the guy who kinda looks like a green raisin wearing a cape," you're just going to have to deal with that.

ANYWAY. There are some kinda...I dunno, aliens with reversed corn rows, and they're miffed about people being alive when they shouldn't be, like Jason and I think Donna Troy? She's the one in the galaxy-print jump suit, right? Anyway, a whole ton of shit happens that I Do Not Care About, Jason and Donna run around through realities with one of the corn row aliens that Jason decides to name --

-- Bob.

Donna, Jason, the guy in the blue and red suit, and Bob keep running into all sorts of weird creatures on their galavant through dimensions or whatever, including different versions of themselves. (Including a version of Jason who's Batman, which probably gave him an idea for the future.)

And yet still, somehow, people manage to be shocked by Jason killing a sentient giant fish creature that's trying to kill him.

Like, they're out here fighting armies of sentient magical ants and chimpanzees riding robots, Donna can punch people into the moon, but somehow a single non-powered guy using a knife causes a record scratch by stabbing someone?? He has no powers. He doesn't even have a gun.

Well, now he has a gun. Jason "switches sides" by shooting Donna in the head.

Of course it's a ruse to help them escape; I'm not counting this towards the attempted murder count.

Then Jason winds up meeting an alternate-universe Batman who kills people, suits up as his version of Robin -- Red Robin, of course, complete with the condom hood -- sees that Batman get killed, and promptly kills that universe's Joker, who kinda just happened to be nearby at the time.

Jason is having a really weird day.

At some point some guy named "Karate Kid" has a disease that will wipe out all of Earth if he's brought there, and there's discussion of killing him. Jason is immediately like, "My hour has come, lemme do it. I'll do it. Literally just turn around for two seconds, guys." For some reason not everyone is a fan of that and instead they...bring Karate Kid back to Earth. The exact thing that -- you know what, never mind. To the shock of absolutely no one, the disease in his body immediately starts to wipe out all life on Earth.

But yeah, Jason is the dumb, evil one for trying to kill patient 0 before you guys could unleash the end of the world. Fucking idiots.

Jason very reasonably tells them all to go fuck themselves and wanders off to hang out with Harley and some redhead, obviously deciding to make the most of life before the world ends.

I tuned out after that. Apparently somehow things get fixed after massive loss of life but really, who cares? That was the dumbest shit they could possibly have done.

Death count: 2 (1 attempted, but no one let him kill Karate Kid in order to, y'know, save the world from a horrific disease that they then inflicted on everyone because they did they exact thing they were warned not to do)