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lilyharvord · 4 years ago

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Song of the Pheonix Part 8

Hey guys, sorry this took so long to get out. It was super hard to find time to write this lately. Also I was having a hard time connecting plot points. I think I finally got this set up though. It's a little shorter than all the previous chapters, but it gets the important work done. The support for this fic is so uplifting! You can also find it on AO3, and any kudos and comments there are super helpful!

AO3 Link

Find the rest of the parts here:

part 1 / part 2 / part 3 / part 4 / part 5 / part 6 / part 7

Enjoy!

(/Coriane/)

It’s surprisingly cold when the sun begins to rise. Doria snores softly in her chair, while I sit huddled in my mass of blankets. For two nights I’ve sat like this, watching my jailor nod off in the early morning. If I wanted to escape, that would be the time to do it. To combat the cold I could take a blanket, and I’d slowly been stashing away little bits of food that was brought to me. I had enough for maybe two days if I rationed it. I can’t leave without Mare though. At least, I feel like I shouldn’t leave without her. Would we even make it out of the hundreds of miles of plains to return to Ascendant? I don’t even know which direction the city is in, let alone how we’ll climb a mountain to get to it. And if she’s in the same state I remembered, I would have to carry her. I know for a fact that I’m not strong enough to do that. I’ll cross that bridge when I get there though.

Doria snorts and then shakes awake, drawing me out of my thoughts. Her bleary eyes blink into focus as she searches the tent wildly for me. When she finally sees me, almost hiding underneath my pile of blankets, she rubs at her eye with her palm. “Need coffee.” She grumbles before rising from the chair. I watch her pull her hair into a messy tie before asking, “Can I have some?”

Her eyes narrow until she says, “Get up.”

I push the blankets off of me and stand. She looks me over, and her lips curl as she takes in the same robe I’ve worn for three days now. Tapping her point finger to her thumb, she says, “Stay here.” She pushes the flap aside, only to pause and look over her shoulder once more. “Try to leave, and you won’t make it passed the third row of tents.”

“Why would I try and run through hundreds of miles of plains dressed like this?” I grumble as I sit on the vanity stool. Doria’s brow raises at my tone, only for her lips to curl up in a smirk as she leaves the tent.

Outside of the tent, the sounds of the early risers preparing for the day begin. Guards grumble as they switch shifts, alerting each other to potential obstacles. I strain my ears, hoping to catch a hint of Mare’s location. No one discusses her though. Squeezing the loose fabric of my robe in my fists, I try to wait patiently. I doubt Doria will bring me anything back, but I can hope. Coffee does sound nice, regardless of where I’m getting it from.

The tent flap opens, startling me, and Doria enters before stepping aside to reveal Proteus. Raising my chin as he lets the flap close behind him, I say, “You are not coffee.”

He chuckles, completely in control of his expression now. He looks me over before saying, “They’re scouring the mountain for you and Barrow. I have half a mind to leave two animal carcasses for them to find.”

My blood runs cold, imagining what that could do. Blood would run down the mountain in waterfalls if he does that. Swallowing the bile in my throat, I whisper, “Don’t. You’ll have to send more men and women to die if you do that.”

His expression hardens, and he closes the space between us to say, “You don’t know the first thing about what my people would do for their goal.” “Show me, let me try to help you. My son—“

“Your son is a middle rung on a ladder. He forfeited his right to sway anyone’s decision when he abdicated.” Proteus waves my words away with his hand. “I can get more out of killing you and Barrow than I can from trading you.”

My stomach rolls, and I spot Doria finger the knife on her belt behind him. My fingers twitch in my lap and I breathe, “Please. You can achieve more than you think through negotiations.” I would sing if I could, but Proteus avoids my eyes contact expertly. I should have never told him how to prevent me from singing. Beating myself over that mistake won’t help me now though. Besides, if I sing him into a stupor, I’ll have to figure out some other way to handle Doria. I can’t sing to them both.

He keeps his eyes on the floor as he says, “There is no negotiating with Montfort.”

“They’ve been in negotiations with the Lakelands for years now… with Norta, with Piedmont. They can be negotiated with!” I shout as I rise to my feet. Doria takes a step forward and I glare at her, and the song comes before I even mean to release it. “Leave.”

She freezes, her expression going slack as her eyes glaze over. Raising my chin, I sing to her again. “Leave us, he can handle—“

Proteus’s hand closes over my mouth, while his arm wraps around my middle. His fist presses into my diaphragm until the air leaves my body is a pathetic wheeze. Doria stumbles backwards, reaching up to grab her temple as Proteus throws me into the corner of the tent. My head hits the ground so hard my teeth rattle. I try to rise to my hands a knees in a daze, certain that this is now the only chance I will have to escape.

A wave of water hits me though, and I choke as it surrounds my head in a cocoon. I reach up with desperate hands, and try to claw at it. It simply rushes past my fingers though. Through the swirling froth, I can make out Proteus, who sweeps his hand in small circles, controlling the orb of water.

He’s a nymph.

My vision begins to tunnel as I drop my hands. My lungs burn for air, and through the wisps of my hair ripped from their braid by the force of the water, I can see Doria urging Proteus on. Her eyes are murderous and I don’t need to guess why. I made her weak for a moment, and if Proteus doesn’t finish me here, she will do it.

I open my mouth when I can’t take it anymore. Water rushes in and I fall forward, my vision going dark. The cocoon collapses and I swallow gulps of air, coughing on the remnants of the water as I do so. Doria’s muffled cries of surprise and fury echo on the edge of my vision. When I crane my neck from the ground, I spot Proteus leaving the tent, his expression pale and his hands shaking. Doria chases after him, leaving me alone in a puddle of mud.

(///)

The blankets do little to warm me after my near brush with death. But Doria and Proteus do not come back. I’m sure they left a new guard outside my tent. I’m willing to risk it though. Scrambling to gather my food in a little makeshift bag I made from the blankets, I try to make a plan. I was never a strategist, but Tibe used to try to tell me about his battle plans when we were first married. I try to channel him in this moment, thinking about what he would think about.

I edge toward the tent flap and curling a finger around it, I lift it just enough to look out. There are no guards, only a few children playing with a ball outside. They giggle and shout as they chase after it, kicking up dirt as they do so.

My heart pounds in my chest and I step out into the sunlight. Already I can feel my hair drying under the burning sun. I waste no time scurrying past the children and toward the center of camp. Maybe that will surprise them. After all, who would be dumb enough to escape through the center of camp? I hope that I’m thinking this through correctly. I doubt it, but if this is my one shot at escaping, so be it.

My next step is to find Mare. The fact that no one has tried to stop me makes me bold, and I pause for longer periods of time to try and locate the Shed where they took her.

I’m listening in on two women washing sheets when a cold hand grabs my arm from behind.

“You do have a death wish.”

I try to throw a punch, but Proteus catches it easily. Spinning me so my back is to his chest, he pins my arms to my sides and says, “But you do have the makings of a decent spy.”

“Let me go!” I spit at him, trying to stamp my heel on his foot. He simply turns it out to side, avoiding easily. I throw my head back to catch his nose in response, but he tilts his head to the side, and ends up with his nose buried in my neck. I tense at the feeling as he breathes against my skin.

“Not a chance. You and I have things to discuss.”

He drags me out of the camp then, passed the tents until we’re standing under the shade of a dying tree. He finally releases me so that I can spin away. Panting for breath, I stalk around him in a circle, trying to look imposing. He raises a brow at my posturing and then chuckles at it.

That makes me pause, and choke, “are you laughing at me?” 

“You’re worse than a child. Did no one teach you how to fight?” He laughs when my face falls slack, and steps forward to grab my wrist again. Pressing his thumb into the tiny bones of my wrist he drags me close to him so he can whisper to me. “You’re going to help me end this war with Montfort. Whether you like it or not.”

I struggle against his hold, fury boiling in my stomach. It’s iced over by fear though when he says, “Do as I say, or I’ll find a nice hole to bury Mare Barrow in.”

“Why not bury me and use her?” I spit. His brows draw together then, and his eyes look me over for a moment.

“The Premier of Montfort wants all the Living Dead she can get her hands on. Barrow may be important to a number of people, but she’s not important to that snake of a woman. You are.”

I strain against his hold, desperate to put some distance between the two of us. I had underestimated how handsome he was the first time I saw him. My traitorous eyes want to observe him, compare him to other men I remember. It doesn’t help that he smells like lavender and something else, something earthy and clean.

“Where is she?” I manage to get out when I stop pulling against him. He drops my wrist and I stumble backwards and land on my back in the dirt. He stands over me, blocking the sun for the most part. I glare until he huffs.

“Will you stop struggling if I take you to her?”

I squint, wondering if I should even trust him. He did cut my bonds, and instead of killing me like Doria obviously wanted him to, he dragged me out here. I definitely don’t trust him as far as I can throw him, not that that would be very far. But do I have any other choice?

“Show me her.”

(/////)

The shed truly is a shed. It’s made of a few beaten up pieces of tin, and stands alone in a field. It’s a lonely, horrible place. And Mare is locked up inside. The heat is enough out here to make me sweat walking the few steps from the transport. I can’t imagine the temperatures inside that metal box.

The guards standing outside it, straighten from their slumped positions as Proteus approaches. He waves away their respectful salutes. They share worried glances before one of them reports, “she’s been quiet all day. Not a peep from her.”

“Good.” He says before steps up to the lock. The guard closest to the door waves a hand over it. It clicks and falls open with a rusted creak that I can feel in my bones. I wouldn’t have been able to get her out if even if I had escaped from the village. I didn’t have the strength to deal with the guards, and I would have needed a magnetron to open the door. I would have done all the work to get here, just to hit a road block at the finish line.

As the door swings open, a wave of sweltering air washes over my face. It’s hot enough in there to cook an egg in the dirt. Ignoring it, I hurry past Proteus to do a quick sweep of the room. Are they giving her water? Has she already died of heat exhaustion? It's shadowy in here, but I can feel the heat pressing in on me from all sides. I imagine when the door closes it's very similar to suffocating.

Mare’s huddled form in the corner draws me like a beacon. I drop to her side, cringing at the silent stone net before throwing it off. Proteus doesn’t bother to stop me as I roll Mare onto her back and whisper to her. “Mare? Mare are you awake?” She doesn't respond, and my heart beats faster in response. "Wake up Mare, show me you're alive."

Her skin is flushed like she has a horrible sun burn, and she’s soaked in sweat. A low groan escapes her, and I glare at Proteus over my shoulder even though relief washes over me. “Get her some water.”

He shrugs at my demand. “Promise to help me end Montfort.”

“Get her some water.” I grind the words out through my teeth. I’ve never been so furious in my life. Even in Norta we had never treated political prisoners like this. This was barbaric and inhuman. “Get her water and cool towel.”

Proteus doesn’t move. It’s a stalemate then. Hissing under my breath, I turn back to Mare. Gently pulling her hair back from her face, I start to tame it into a ponytail of sorts to get it off her neck. “It’s alright,” I coo to her as she groans again. Her skin boils under my hands. Not good. I know a dangerous fever when I see it.

My robe is much thinner than the heavy duty clothes she is still wearing. I make up my mind quickly. Stripping her of her shirt I wring it out as best I can. Even though my entire body recoils at what I’m doing, I carefully exchange it for the top of my robe. The shirt immediately sticks to my skin, and I want to be sick.

I swallow the bile, before going for her pants. We’re roughly the same size, but I’ll need a belt to keep the pants on. “Relax,” I whisper to her as I put myself between her and Proteus, trying to give her a sense of privacy. She probably couldn’t care less about it right now, but I won’t let that happen. Underneath my hands her skin feels slick like butter. I can barely get her clothes off. They stick to her like a second skin. She was in here for days. How is she not dead yet? I can't imagine being put through this.

Once I’m wearing her clothes, and I’ve adjusted enough to the feeling of them on my skin, I slide my robe on her. “Everything’s going to be okay.” My words a pathetic and they probably dont come close to comforting. Does she know that I might have to leave her in here again?

She groans again, and grabs my wrist in a grip that is so weak my stomach flutters. I shush her softly before looking at Proteus again. “Get her water and I’ll do what you need.”

“Swear your loyalty to my cause.”

“Are you really going to split hairs right now? She’s dying.”

He shrugs. “It’s nothing she doesn’t deserve. She’s killed more of mine than her life could repay a hundred times over.”

“<em>Get her water now</em>.” I sing it this time. His eyes glaze over, and he snaps to attention to complete the order. But the song wears off quickly. I’m too close to the silent stone, and its effects are washing over me as they radiate out.

He stumbles back and grabs at his temple. With a glower in my direction, he says, “Stop doing that.” “<em>Get her water.</em>” I sing it again, determined to push beyond the nauseating effects of the silent stone. He turns his eyes away from me though and my words are just a pretty melody that bounces off him. The guards arrive at the entrance after hearing the commotion I'm causing.

I throw myself to my feet and rush him, repeating the song over and over again. He catches me and pins me to the wall by my throat, making the tin rattle. I wheeze and claw at his wrist in response. I feel like a feral cat that has been caught. I'll gouge his eyes out if have to if it means I can get Mare out of this place.

Grimacing at the headache I’ve probably given him by trying to hammer my will home over and over again, he catches my wrist with his other hand. “I’ll take her back to the camp if you swear your loyalty to me, right here, right now. Does that appease you?” He pants in my face. I can’t get a breath of air passed his fingers to reply with words. Can I agree to this? If I do, will I be betraying the people who took me in initially?

But Mare is going to die in this horrid place if I leave her here. I won’t put her blood on my hands.

Nodding, I crane my neck to gasp for air. “Get her out.”

He drops me to the floor and turns to the guards with an order to bring Mare to the transport. They blanch at him, and try to argue but his next words are sharp and biting. They leap to action, rushing for Mare who has fallen silent again.

On the ground, I massage my throat and try to get air to my aching lungs. I watch them pick Mare up though. Her eyes, which are finally open, fall to me. I can’t even muster a smile for her, or another reassuring word. I have a horrible feeling I’ve just tied myself to a group that will use me as a shield against the people I actually trust. Have I doomed her and me? Probably. But she's alive, and she's out of here. Maybe we can come up with a plan together now. Relief washes over me as they carry her out into the sunlight. Proteus looks down at me with a condescending eye as I glower up at him.

"There may be a soldier in you yet." He breathes before grabbing my arm and dragging me to my feet. I have no idea what he's talking about, but I'm exhausted from using my ability so much in such a short time and I willingly let him drag me out to the transport too.

#red queen #glass sword #kings cage #war storm #broken throne #post broken throne #mare barrow #coriane jacos #song of the phoenix #SotP #song of the phoenix has been on my mind a lot lately #my writing #my fanfics #(((:#all support/comments/likes/kudos/reblogs are appreciated!

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laytonsartblog · 5 years ago

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Okay so I'm dumb here's a one shot

I know I said everything that's a story would be posted on AO3, but, I have dumbass energy and was inspired by the reblog I made earlier and it is 2 am on a school night so WOOO incoherency is at an ALL TIME HIGH

@infinimay whoop tagged u for what I'll call the Bus Duty AU

Perhaps I'll make this a series?? Something light, fluffy, nothing too heavy on the angst (okay I lied)

The Wheels on the Bus (Spin the Tales of Love)

Chapter 1., Like Patton

Virgil and Damian woke up to get to school at precisely 7:30 am, and to be ready by 8:10 for when their bus arrived, every school day.

Their mother, which is now Virgil's stepmother, always said that a tight schedule and tighter patience is what wins people over. That must be how she got Virgil's idiot dad, who took nearly three years of coy smiles and teasing touches to even start dating. They had married this year, and while Virgil is certainly happy about it, he didn't realize that it came with having to deal with a new stepbrother.

That's why, instead of 7:30 and 8:10, Virgil rises at 7:15 and is waiting by 8:00. Their mother never notices, never needing to wake up this early for work, and their dad works night shift. They were by themselves, but they handled it for nine year olds. Virgil especially figured out how to handle it as soon as he figured out that despite all this change, he was still by himself.

"Vi! Vi!" Damian, or DeeDee as he liked to be called, shouted as he approached Virgil at the bottom of the street. "Why do you never wait for me?"

Virgil shrugged. "I don't know, you give me a weird feeling, like cooties, but nice? Like wriggling worms in my head. It's sticky."

There was silence between them as they waited for their bus.

"You give me wiggly feelings too. Truce?" Damian suddenly said after what seemed to be forever to their adorable little minds, and he outstretched a hand.

Virgil took it. "Pleasure doing business, Worm boy."

Damian pouted and pulled his hand back, but didn't need to wait much longer in cute anger as the bus pulled up to their street. Seemingly forgetting the nickname, he pulled Virgil along onto the bus.

"Hey, kiddos!" their favorite, and only bus driver greeted as they sat in the front row.

Virgil never liked the bus, despite how early he was this year. It was loud and cranky and he had to sit next to DeeDee and there were always the mean kids who flicked his head as if a ping-pong ball on the way to their seats. The one thing that made it bearable was the fact he got to sit close to Patton.

Patton had allowed them to use his first name from the get go, inspiring names like "Patting!" from the kindergarteners or "Shatting" from the mean sixth graders. Virgil never tainted the name for he saw no reason to change what was already his favorite part of the morning.

Patton gave them treats on their birthday, never forgetting a single one. Patton hugged them when they were sad and showed them that crying was okay. Patton never yelled or screamed when things got too loud; he knew better than to plague these children with learned behavior, scorn, and hatred. Instead he'd play games that involved the whole bus to busy everyone, or at the very least play music and encourage them to sing along or guess the song.

Patton made things better. But Virgil knew he was sad.

Today, even with Damian's unwavering questions at everything he saw and with the fake stories he kept saying to the kid in the seat next to them, even he could tell that their bus driver was tired.

The two observant fourth graders watched as their second father didn't smile as brightly as he usually did whenever he greeted the kids getting on. He sagged; sluggish and baggy. Virgil noticed he looked a lot like his cousin Remy before a test under his eyes.

However, despite how observant, Virgil never knew how to comfort the gentle man. It's why he and Damian are in the front row. The doctors said he has a "speech impediment" where he couldn't put the words in his head to the outside world quite right. They said his brain was wrong. He knew Damian had a streak of lying and throwing tantrums. It's why he didn't like his new brother; he only served to make him look stupider.

Still, that didn't stop Virgil from putting a hand to Patton's shoulder, at least not entirely. He didn't expect for him to gasp and jump, but Virgil didn't exactly know what to expect anyway. He just pulled his hand back and looked down at his ripped pants in shame the rest of the bus ride.

They got there slower than Virgil had thought, but no, they were on time. Perhaps his brain was being weird again? He couldn't tell, but either way he walked begrudgingly by Damian into the school.

They passed by their school's office on the way into the gym, which is where you wait until school started. Virgil, again, ever the observant one, saw his school secretary in the window.

He was what was best described as professionally squabbled, or in Virgil's terms, cleanly messy. Mr. Nguyen had hair that was combed back just so and glasses that hid all his worries and fears. He had impeccable pressed ties that, on the occasion, got festive when a holiday came around. He had skilled hands and Virgil hadn't walked by a day where he wasn't working or presenting a board meeting or, if he wasn't doing that, wasn't there at all for the whole day.

Virgil never really disliked Mr. Nguyen. He had no reason to like him either. But right now, Virgil could see he looked exactly like Patton did; utterly miserable.

"Hey, DeeDee, y'see Mr. Nguyen? In the window?" Virgil whispered as he sat right at the entrance so he could get a good look at him.

Damian merely ignored him. "We always see him. What's the big deal?"

"The big deal is," Virgil started, already frustrated with the words that wouldn't come out. "He like- he- he's Patton today."

Damian rose a brow, a suspicious trait he most likely picked up from his mother. "You mean he looks like Patton did today?"

Virgil could only nod in relief. "Yeah! He looks Patton today. Do you think the teachers look like that today?"

Damian scanned around the room. He saw nothing out of the ordinary on the teachers' face. However, he did spot a certain trashy boy that Damian all but felt puppy love for. He waved him over. "Rem! Rem!"

The boy, peeking from the corner around his preoccupied brother at his name being called, grinned a crooked and partially toothless grin and ran over to Damian. They merely embraced before Remus took out his backpack, no doubt to reveal some gross frog from his collection.

Virgil cared less and just kept staring at the office, seeing Patton and a few other drivers come in for their mandatory morning report before they head out to go back to whatever they do when not driving. Patton still looked like a walking corpse.

Virgil vowed to take that frown away.

However, the school bell had other plans.

Virgil thinks that time really has slowed down, and maybe it isn't his stupid brain.

Every minute of class felt not as much a blur as it usually was. Usually, class was as easy as it got, and today he even got to skip out of gym for speech classes. He liked the speech teacher, Valerie. She allowed him to say her first name like Patton did. Virgil liked Valerie too.

But even his marvel at how fantastic his day had been so far didn't distract him from the fact his bus driver was unhappy.

Virgil sat with Damian and all the other broken kids at lunch. Remus was there too, and as much as he loved Damian off his back, the two talking about frogs and the fact the French eat frog legs was already starting to get on his nerves. He just focused on his sandwich and juice box, never saying a word.

It became time to throw out the food, and Virgil knew it was gametime. He looked to everyone at the table before rushing, the other two running to throw out their styrofoam plates the fastest.

Sadly, like always, Virgil's dreams of success were barred by Remus's long, nimble legs and long, skinny arms.

Virgil wanted to pout and tell them that Remus always wins, but Mr. Glover came in to clean and one look sent the three of them scrambling to recess.

Today they had art time, and Virgil had never been more determined in his life.

He grabbed construction paper, glue, crayons, markers, tape, and a How-To: pop up book. They were supposed to be making Thanksgiving cards for one of the staff members, and technically he was following what he was supposed to do. It was just that Patton's name hadn't been listed on the board to write to for their fake post office.

No matter. He would make the best card ever to cheer up his favorite and only bus driver. Damian seemed more interested in watching Remus eat the glue stick and then calling for them to go to the nurse.

Virgil ignored the two's antics in favor of focusing on his masterpiece.

Finally, at the end of the day, with high hopes and spirits and even better hope for Patton, Virgil all but ran to the bus he remembers so clearly beyond anything else. Damian followed close behind, sitting beside him in the seat they always sat.

Virgil heard Patton greet him, as always. Virgil could still hear how tired he was. He looked as pale as Virgil did.

Virgil, without prompting, took out his card and shoved it into Patton's hands before taking his seat and covering himself up with his hoodie as far in the seat as he could go.

Patton watched the young boy sat back down in a hurry before looking down at the card. The craftsmanship, of course, could be better, but honestly Patton could hardly care. He read the "I Think Your Cool" at the top and then a hand drawing of a turkey, covered in glitter and Patton's signature blue.

Patton almost cried, and then did cry when he saw the inside.

It held handwritten words with a picture of presumably Virgil fighting away the storm clouds over Patton; the bus with muscles and also beating up the stormcloud. The words wrote "I saw your sad face. I want to fix it. See! Fixed it!"

When Patton looked up, sniffling and holding the card dear to his heart, he saw Virgil peaking out from his jacket. That little boy held the softest smile and even Damian stopped for a moment to grin, gap tooth apparent but not even a hint of malice could fill Patton at this moment.

Last night had been so awful, but maybe today hadn't been so bad. No, today had been fantastic. Virgil fixed his heart for just a moment.

Edit: the card! Made by moi

#sanders sides #patton sanders #virgil sanders #sanders sides fanfiction #sander sides angst #Bus Duty AU #eventual logicality #the dark bois are gonna save the day #with an addition of Roman #after a while #whooooweee it is 4 am and I have nOT slept gn

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avengerscompound · 6 years ago

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The Tower - Chapter 8

The Tower: An Avengers Fanfic

Chapter 8

Series Masterlist

Chapters: one / two / three / four / five / six / seven / eight / nine / ten / eleven / twelve / thirteen / fourteen / fifteen / sixteen / seventeen / eighteen / nineteen / twenty / twenty-one / twenty-two / twenty-three / twenty-four / twenty-five / twenty-six / twenty-seven / twenty-eight

Word Count: 2296

Warnings: Smut (f/m vaginal sex, fingering, teacher-student role play, spanking)

Synopsis: While getting to know Sam he discovers that Elly used to go to a private school. They both decide she might have a few things to learn still.

Author’s Note: Co-written with @fanficwriter013

Chapter 8 - Sam

I have never instantly connected with someone as quickly as I did with Samuel Thomas Wilson. By the time I went home after spending the first day with him we had one in-joke and spoke at least fifty percent in innuendo.

Things were now getting a little complicated. My phone buzzed a lot with messages from Sam, Clint and Tony and even the odd one from Natasha when she thought it was safe. Over the two weeks where Sam and I were setting our own pace, the others backed off a little. Clint showed up at my apartment for a sleepover twice. Tony asked if I’d come over once. I saw Wanda again briefly and met Bruce in the hall long enough to get tongue-tied while I tried to tell him how much I admired his work. Mostly though, I spent time with Sam.

The first day we spent just hanging out around the tower. We made pizza together. We went to the roof and got in the hot tub. I didn’t have a swimsuit so we both just skinny dipped. He showed me the arena they used for training. It was like I was getting to know someone I had known forever.

We set our own pace, not just rushing into sex the way I did with Clint or Tony. Nor did we take a long time not doing anything at all like I did with Nat. It was two weeks of making out, giving each other massages, talking dirty on the phone and just generally getting to know each other before we did anything. Sam had a tendency to do what I did. He used analyzing other people’s problems as a way to ignore with his own. Never wanting to talk about how his parents died, or how he lost the first man he’d ever really been in love with. Always turning the conversation back to me and how I was dealing with everything.

He was at my place the day we took that step. His head was in my lap and I was feeding him grapes and generally just skitching his beard or walking my fingers down his neck while we spoke.

“It was weird you know. I think up until Cap I was just living on the premise that I liked women so I must be straight. I mean there was Riley obviously. But he was an anomaly that came about through the connection we had.” He said as I ran my fingers down his neck. He flinched away from me a little as I hit a particularly ticklish spot. “Then one day I’m out for my morning run and the little shit keeps lapping me over and over every time just saying ‘On your left’. And I would watch him tear by. He was wearing this ridiculously tight shirt. And I was just ‘I am definitely not straight.”

“I mean if someone’s going to make you question your sexuality right?” I joked.

“We literally hooked up that night. That’s how fast it happened.” Sam answered. “So yeah, he made me question it pretty hard.”

“Damn! I really need to meet Steve.” I said and bent over softly kissing him.

He reached up and cupped my jaw, running his thumb over my cheek. “Soon enough.”

“Glad I don’t have to meet him the same way you did. I hate running. Running and team sports.” I said and offered Sam another grape.

He took it nipping at my finger as he did. “But team sports are where it’s at! You didn’t even play softball at school?”

I shook my head. “And here’s where I come off sounding completely private school preppy. I did rowing, dance, and skiing.”

Sam smirked up at me. “I can picture it now. The uniform and everything.”

“Oh yeah. It had a pleated skirt, knee-high socks. A tie and a blazer.” I said.

Sam sat up and shifted over so he was pressed against me. “I bet you got a lot of detentions back then.”

I smiled and ran my tongue over my lips. “Oh, I was such a bad girl.”

Sam pulled me into his lap, his hand running under my t-shirt. “I bet you were.”

I leaned down and teased his lips with mine. “I actually have the uniform still. Would you like me to go put it on? Maybe you’d like to punish this bad girl?”

“Yes, please.” Sam all but squeaked.

I climbed up off his lap. “Give me like; fifteen minutes.”

I went to my closet and grabbed a garment box from the top of it and a pair of black knee-high socks. I even got a matching lace thong and push-up bra. If you’re going to dress up you might as well go all in. I went and changed in the bathroom. I left the top button of my blouse open and tied the tie in a loose Windsor knot. I also knotted the bottom of the blouse exposing my stomach. I rolled up the skirt so it was very short. If I bent over at all he’d see the thong.

Finally, I put my hair into pigtails and came back out to him. He looked up at me and his pupils dilated as his gaze roamed my form.

“You wanted to see me, Mr. Wilson?” I asked, innocently.

“Yes, I did. Come and sit over here.” He said, patting his knee. I walked over and perched myself in his lap. His hands ran up my bare thighs making my skin prickle. “I need a safeword.” He said.

“Red,” I answered, instantly. Going with the traffic light system I often used.

“Natasha says you like spanking and name-calling.” He said.

I nodded. Part of me feeling slightly embarrassed that Natasha told him that. The other part really glad she did. “Yes, sir.”

He brought his lips to my ear. “I’ve heard you’ve been quite the little slut.” He whispered. “Is that true?”

I nodded my head, the prickle spreading through my body. “Yes, sir. I’m a little slut.”

“We don’t tolerate that kind of behavior. Perhaps I should expel you.” Sam growled.

“Please don’t. I’ll do anything.” I said, playing up the scared school girl.

Sam smirked. “I was hoping you’d say that. Lay down over my lap. You’re going to get punished.”

I shifted in his lap, lying down over it and propping myself up on my elbows. Sam lifted my skirt and his palm ran over my cheeks. “Look at what you’re wearing, you dirty girl,” Sam said, pulling at the g-string.

“I didn’t expect you to see it, sir,” I say with a smirk.

He brought his hand down on my ass. It made a loud crack and a sting erupted in my cheeks. I yelped. “You knew exactly what you were doing.” He said and slapped me again.

I clenched my teeth as he slapped me three more times. The sting spread through my skin and heat built in my asscheeks. It hurt in that way that feels so, so good. My cunt started to drip for him.

“You’re enjoying this aren’t you?” He said, shifting the thong to one side and running his thick fingers up my folds.

“Yes, sir.” I whimpered as he started circling over my clit. I rolled my hips against his hand. He slapped me again making me clench up and release a squeaking sound.

His fingers went back to teasing me. He pulled my thong down to my knees to give himself better access as he fingered me. He pushed two fingers inside me and fucked me with them. Moving them quickly in and out so there was this rhythmic press and release on my g-spot.

I started to pant. Pleasure crept through me adding a new element to the sting in my skin. The anticipation of being slapped again was there too. I started to feel fuzzy on the edges and I moaned loudly.

Sam took his hand away and brought it down on my asscheeks. I cried out and jerked against him. Sam smoothed his hand over my ass cheeks and skimmed them over my pussy. “You’re going to have quite the handprint here, little girl.” He cooed.

“Thank you, sir.” I hummed.

“That’s not how you thank me.” He said. “Get on your knees and put that mouth to good use.”

I slid off his lap and unfastened his jeans, tugging them down, and freeing his cock. I locked my eyes with his and ran my tongue up his length. Circling over his head before plunging my mouth down as deep as I comfortably could. His hips snapped up, making him go deeper. I gagged and my fingers tightened on his thigh muscles. Drool pooled in my mouth and when he pulled back I swallowed adding pressure around his cock.

Sam moaned. He wrapped his hand in my hair and started to thrust into my mouth. I parted my lips a little and just gave him room. Truth was, I loved having his hand holding me in place. How he dominated me while at the same time he came apart for me. His eyes rolled back in ecstasy and I started to become more active again. Moaning around his cock as I licked and sucked at it. I cupped his balls and teased my fingers down his perineum. His muscles started to clench and relax and his breath started coming in shallow. With a loud growl, he jerked forward and came, spilling hot ribbons over my tongue and down my throat.

I swallowed it all and licked his cock clean. “Thank you, sir,” I said pulling off.

“You’re very welcome, princess,” Sam said, half panting as he looked down at me with his deep brown eyes. “How about you do a little strip for me.” It was phrased like a question but sounded like a demand. I got to my feet and wriggled out of my g-string. I got out my phone and selected a song and placed it into the dock. I came back towards Sam, swiveling my hips as I moved. I tugged off my tie and hung it over his neck.

“You expect me to believe you’re innocent when you move like that?” He teased, looking up at me.

I turned around and twisted down, grinding my ass into his crotch as I unbuttoned my blouse. “I’m not sure what you mean,” I said, innocently.

“Yeah, right.” He chuckled, his hands sliding up my stomach.

I turned and shrugged off the blouse. Exposing my push-up bra.

“And who are you wearing that for?” He asked.

“Should I not be wearing it?” I asked with a half smile, running my hands down between my legs as a moved above him.

His eyes darkened. “No. Take it off.”

I reached behind me and unhooked my bra and slowly slid the straps down my arms. I kept my hands over the cups and continued to move my hips. Sam pulled his t-shirt off and tossed it to the side and began slowly stroking his cock. I licked my lips and let my bra fall into his lap.

He grabbed my hips and dragged me into his lap. His hand went to my hair and he pulled me into a hard kiss. I ran my tongue over his top lip and he danced his over it before pushing into my mouth. I moaned and rocked my hips against him feeling the press of his cock against my mound. His hand slipped down between us and he started running his cock up and down my folds.

I broke our kiss with a gasp. “Oh god. Please. Please fuck me. Don’t hold anything back.” I mewled.

Sam just continued to tease me with his cock. Not saying anything. I kissed and sucked on his neck and ran my fingers down his back.

“Sam, please,” I whined.

He chuckled and suddenly plunged his cock deep into my cunt. I gasped and threw my head back. “Oh fuck yes.” I groaned. “Thank you, sir.”

His hand went to the back of my neck, holding me in place and he started snapping his hips up into me. I kept rolling my hips with him as he fucked up into me. I kissed him hard, biting at his lips. His hand tightened in my hair to hold me in place and his fingers dug into my hip.

My orgasm slowly built at his drove into my cunt. His thumb went to my clit and he drew small circles over it. He bit down into my neck and sucked hard enough to mark. My whole body clenched up and I came. “Oh fuck.” I moaned.

He continued to thrust up into me hard, holding me in place as my body trembled. There was a sudden tightening of his muscles and he came, biting down into my shoulder.

I let out a low hum as he let my hair go and I collapsed down against him. He relaxed back into the couch running his hands down my back. “How are you doing there? Are you okay?” He asked, slipping from his assumed persona almost instantaneously.

“Mmm…” I hummed. “So much more than okay. That was really fun.”

He tilted my chin up to look at him. “How about we go take a bath?”

“Sounds good,” I said, almost sleepily.

Sam scooped me up into his arms and carried me to the bathroom. “Just a little FYI. If Tones every saw you wear that it would make his brain short circuit.”

“Maybe I should wear it next time I come to the tower.” I joked.

Sam looked at me with a twinkle in his eye. “I dare you to.”

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frankiefellinlove · 6 years ago

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I almost cried because I couldn’t attend this event 😔

Report of Archives shown in Asbury Park today

By Stan Goldstein

What a shame this wasn't recorded or filmed or even photos exist yet. The Asbury Park Music and Film Festival photographer was allowed to take pictures of the talk and hopefully they will appear soon.

This was one for the ages. It was spectacular!! Bruce was there. He did a Q&A at the end. Ten videos shown.

Then they had the talk. Thom Zimny and Chris Phillips came out, there was a third chair. Before they started Thom waved to the side of the stage and said "Come out now" and Bruce walked out to a standing ovation.. What followed was an incredible Q & A. It's a shame this wasn't recorded, but I took a lot of notes.

Some breaking news from it.

Bruce said that a DVD/video will be coming out of the full New Orleans Jazzfest show from 2006.

Bruce said that show was "One of his Top-5 live performing experiences."

Bruce also said he would love to see a full Tunnel of Love show come out.

Bruce said a lot of this footage he had never seen before. He said he never saw the clip with Clarence from Buffalo in 2009 before.

Bruce says he's amazed what he can find on Youtube and suggest fans should go there to find some things.

He was very relaxed. Wore a black sweat shirt (sweater? ladies need your help here) with a "5" on it.

Some quotes from Bruce:

"I have lived many lives, many I haven't seen myself," after seeing this footage.

Bruce said they were "superstitious about being filmed in the early days. That's why we never did any TV. We felt that a magician should not look too close at his magic trick."

Bruce then gave a shout out to Barry Rebo who was in the audience. Barry is the one who shot much of the early footage.

Bruce said he was surprised to find out what they have (in the vaults). "I feel glad that Thom was able to dig up this stuff."

Bruce said when they did the filming for "Live in New York City" in 2000 that he felt "he was finally getting over the wall" of not liking to be filmed.

This was after Chris asked him about the Blood Brothers documentary from 1995 being one of the first things being filmed officially.

Bruce had a funny line about being recorded/filmed: "You always think you are more handsome than you actually are and you always think you sound better than you actually do."

Bruce said the 1975 Bottom Line shows "Really changed the life of the band. We were officially contenders. We no longer had to be good, we had to be GREAT! every night." to which many in the ground yelled out "You are!"

Chris asked about doing 10 Bottom Line shows in five days in 1975 (early and late show) and Bruce said they were only an hour-and-a-half each, so it wasn't too bad.

Chris Phillips tried to ask him about the new album but Bruce said he didn't really want to talk about it.

The 10 songs:

1. When You Walk In The Room - Bottom Line, August 16?,1975

One-camera color. Not great quality but who's going to complain seeing Bruce from this era

2. Apollo Medley - Apollo Theater, NYC, March 9, 2012

Chris Phillips asked Bruce about this. It's the clip where Bruce goes up in the balcony and sings from the front, really dangerous.

Bruce: "I don't know what I was thinking when I did that. It wasn't planned, no one was following me. I just said fuck it and I then fucked up the whole arrangement with the band. I was just glad to find some pipes to hold on to. We do perform some death-defying acts."

Bruce also said it was incredible to play there with all the history of the place and it was a great way to break the band in to start the Wrecking Ball tour. Said it was Jake's first show and "there was no pressure."

Bruce also said to Thom that they should put this out someday too. It was all professionally filmed with multiple cameras. This footage was awesome. The look on Patti's face when Bruce was in the balcony was priceless.

3. New York City Serenade, Dec. 15, 1973, Nassau Community College, black and white, two cameras: Rough footagae but incredible.

Chris Phillips asked about David Sancious playing on this. This was the original E Street Band: Bruce, Garry, David, Danny and Vini Lopez. This clip was shown at the Monmouth U. archives event in 2014. A magical clip. David on the piano is spectacular.

"David is one of the most musically talented people I have met and on the planet. His ability to cover everything, he's a master. I loved to have him in the band."

Chris then said "Well there's the elephant in the room. We have some new music and David plays on it and Bruce said "Yea, he plays on some of it. But we don't have to talk about that."

4. My City Of Ruins - Seeger Sessions, Jazzfest, 2006

Pro-shot, multiple camera footage. Great shots of the crowd singing along "Rise Up!" According to Bruce, this whole show will be out at some point.

Bruce: "The Sessions Band was a great band. I want to do that again. It was a great day. The day before we went driving down to the Ninth Ward. Rock and Roll is best when the stakes are on the table and go go against trouble and hard times. It was good to perform there and serve."

Bruce said to come back to Asbury Park now is so great to see how it is doing. He said he feels like the "Ghost of Christmas past" when he walks around

5. Quarter to Three, Bottom Line, August 16, 1975

Bruce asked Thom Zimny who shot this? And Thom told him Barry Rebo.

Great, color, one-camera footage. Bruce is all over the place. Dancing on the center table in front of the stage. Jumping on Danny's organ then going over to Roy's piano. At one point he drops his guitar pick and a fan hands it back to him. Young, classic Bruce at his best.

Bruce said the band was physically and literally half the size they are now back in those days compared to the Apollo footage now. .

6. Promised Land - Freehold, Nov. 8, 1996

A one-camera close up shot of Bruce in color. Not the greatest video but I'm not going to complain.

Bruce said "going back to St. Rose of Lima was tough enough. I did debut 'Freehold' that night.

7. Who Do You Love/She's the One - Tunnel of Love tour, Rotterdam, June 28,1988.

May have been the highlight clip of the afternoon. Hard rocking E Street Band with the spotlight on Clarence. He's at his peak physically and is all over. "The sight of the The Big Man and the maracas" Bruce said with a smile.

Some epic footage of Bruce and Clarence practically making love on stage. You have to see it to understand. The women in the audience particularly liked this clip.

This is when Bruce said "We should put out a Tunnel of Love show."

8. Patti Scialfa doing "Tell Him" from the Stone Pony 10th anniversary show, 1984 with Cats on a Smooth Surface. Nice color, one-camera shot.

"I almost had her here today," Bruce said. "That's the night I met my wife, 30 years ago at the Stone Pony. As I said in the Broadway show, it was the first time I heard her sing. She was playing with Bobby Bandiera, an Asbury Park hero."

Bruce asked where that footage came from and Thom Zimny said Kevin Buell knew someone who had it.

9. Sandy - Dec. 15, 1973, acoustic with Danny Federici, black and white. Nice version but a bit slow. But hey it's classic Danny and Bruce.

Bruce kidded that "I thought I was going to fall asleep at any moment. I went to the bathroom and came back I was still playing!"

Chris asked Bruce a little bit more about "Sandy" and the writing of it and Bruce said "Sandy was when things were just starting to happen for the band. It was a goodbye to Asbury Park. The last night Danny Federici played with us (Indianapolis, March 20, 2008) I asked him what he wanted to play and he said 'Sandy.' The song was appropriate because I wrote it It as the ending of something wonderful and the beginning of something new. We were leaving Asbury Park just as things were changing,"

10. Growing Up - Buffalo, Nov. 22, 2009. With the story of meeting Clarence.

Bruce said he had never seen this clip before. "The story is completely true, all those things. It actually happened. Looking at that, I really miss the Big Man" Bruce said as he and the crowd got a bit emotional.

Toward the end Bruce thanked Thom Zimny, saying "He has allowed us to use this great footage. He's like another member of the band."

Bruce said how he saw a Jean Claude van Damme movie and called Thom up and said "we should look like that for the Darkness taping right on this stage." Which was done in December of 2009, the filming of the band playing the entire album for the box set.

Bruce also commended Thom for his work on "Springsteen on Broadway" and said "Broadway was going well, let's not fuck this thing up!" Bruce kidded that the "magic begins with: 'Do I look great?'"

There was a little bit of talk about the "Night with the Jersey Devil" film and the short movie made from "Hunter of Invisible Game."

Chris Phillips also asked Bruce about the Upstage movie that is being shown tomorrow and what Bruce thought about the original version which he saw in 2017.

"Why am I not in this?" Bruce said. He then did do an interview for it which will be in the new version. He continued: "That last time I walked into the Upstage it looked exactly how it looked in 1968."

Some notes: Cameron Crowe was in the audience as were the Farrelly Brothers.

When I got to my seat, I was told I was being moved. I bought a single ticket the moment they were on sale and ended up in the first row. They told me my seat was going to be used by Bruce and his family. I got bumped up to a folding chair in the pit right in front of the stage. A little tough to watch the videos but right in front of Bruce for the Q&A so no complaints here. As it turned out, Bruce never sat in the seats anyway. He did watch from the side up against the wall of the lower right (facing the stage) orchestra for a bit

The locking up the cellphones thing worked well. In a way it was kind of nice not having a zillion phones up when Bruce was onstage but what a shame that it wasn't record for "the archives", then again, maybe it was. I don't know.

Great job by Chris Phillips. What I liked is he asked "fan-type"" questions, not like how a New York Times or Rolling Stone writer would try to talk about it.

And if you stayed this long, thank you for reading

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starchildrenofdustand-ashes · 6 years ago

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My Spongebob Squarepants Experience!

I saw spongebob 8/11/18 with the OBC except Christina Sajous as Sandy and Catherine Ricofort was Karen . (This has been sitting in my drafts I totally forgot to publish it oops) I sat in the fifth row of the first mezzanine. These are just some things that happened on stage that I liked :)

🍍This was probably the best turn off your cellphone notice (besides once on this island ofc)

🍍On the middle of the stage there is a mini construction of their houses they lift it up and the screen behind them is transformed into a pineapple

🍍They flip the model over revealing ethan who is sleeping he is shaken awake by his alarm

🍍 Gary is on a skateboard bless

🍍He brushes Gary’s eyeball and not is teeth

🍍Spongebob actually named all the things that rhyme with rock for Patrick and one of them was “pop and lock” —- Hello strobes

🍍 When they introduce sandy a projection of a squirrel with a cowboy hat appears

🍍After sandy sings her part in bikini bottom day they hear their first tremor

Spongebob says he likes the tremor lol

🍍Plankton is sitting in a chum bucket lol.

🍍Wesley has a tiny plankton puppet in his hand and in his other hand he has a telescope that puppet plankton is looking through.

🍍Karen puts a magnifying glass over plankton

🍍Patrick and sandy actually come into the mezz during the dialogue in this song

🍍Spongebob actually puts his hand on the grill when he’s talking to squidward and squidward is like YOUR HAND and spongebob is like oh! And he takes his spatula and flips his head

🍍ALEX GIBSON WAS PERCH (I love Alex Gibson sm, because the TGC and he was literally the SWEETEST at the spongebob/ comet stage door)

🍍 Sandy has a whiteboard and a stick as she explains what’s gonna happen

🍍Ethan slater did a crazy split during the end of No Control

🍍During BFF spongebob actually pulls out a piece of cheese from behind Patrick’s couch.

🍍they have a LoT of fun with that sofa lol.

🍍 The words bff come on stage

🍍It takes Karen a while to give Plankton a beat he actually likes and when she does , When the Going gets Tough happens.

🍍 Karen bets plankton that he can’t rap lol

🍍Wesley killed it I love him wow

🍍 I was sooo surprised by the speed rap GUNS AND SHIPS WHAT??

🍍Wesley actually puts a lil plankton on his foot after his giant dance

🍍I LoVE subtle shots at the government

🍍 Tentacle Spectacle the Musical lol I love squidward

🍍when mr krabs calls spongebob a simple sponge he keeps whisper/echos sponge as he slowly sinks off stage

🍍 There are glow in the dark sponges around spongbob as he sings not a simple sponge

🍍when mr krabs comes back and says just a simple sponge the sponges leave the stage. They all come back when he starts singing again at the climax

🍍Perch tells everyone that the apocalypse is today and they all freak out but then he says he misread it and the day to tomorrow

🍍Mrs. Puff plans to drink herself into oblivion with kelp juice before the apocalypse and then she says Carpe Diem and her barista yells ‘who are you calling a carp”

🍍old man Jenkins is kinda horrible lol. He just wants someone to blame and they decide to blame sandy

🍍Pearl comes on stage with two dresses and Krabs takes them from her and hands them to spongebob who puts one around his neck so it looks like he’s wearing it he’s so cute

🍍I wanna know how krabs costume works bc he’s picking stuff up so those claws no way he could

🍍 Jai’Len what the fuck yes I need a recording with her the fuck

🍍when pearl says he has dollars in his eyes he puts the money bags in front of his face

🍍she pulls these things out of her pockets and when she cries she puts them to her face and tears squeeze out

🍍Spongebob comforts Pearl as she’s crying

🍍”oh karen as I look into your screen I can feel the very earth quake”

🍍the bolder that first falls is actually a rubber ball and it comes down this contraption stage right

🍍When Spongebob goes to get Patrick he finds him on the sofa with his navel scratcher

🍍””Life smells weird””

🍍sandy runs across stage trying to get away from the angry mob who’s looking for her with pitchforks

🍍 There is a sign that says “LAND MAMELS GO HOME” and it’s spray painted and sandy gets rlly discouraged Sandy :(

🍍 Sandy has got some sick pink nunchaku

🍍She packs up her stuff and Patbob Spongerick convinces her not to go and Hero is my Middle Name happens

🍍The whiteboard is back and so is the stick and planning YES SANDY

🍍ETHAN SLATER AND BACKFLIPS YES

🍍 Squidward loves his mama and he says “I’m a pretty squid mama”

🍍 RHOMBUS SLACKS

🍍Karen and Plankton share a moment over spongebob while he is frozen and Karen’s screen has a fire on it (whenever Karen and plankton are on stage everything freezes as they scheme)

🍍The Sardines (?) come up to Patrick and sing their bopping song

🍍They actually bake Patrick a cake

🍍They have church fans with Patrick’s face on it

🍍They give Patrick a robe and a crown

🍍SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK HAVE THE SADDEST/ CUTEST ARGUMENT NOOOO I WAS SO SAD

🍍The next boulders fall from the contraption stage right but this time there are a lOT of tiny bolders

🍍ITS TIME FOR YOUR LAST INTERMISSION EVER

🍍hello patchy

🍍security comes and forces Patchy and the other pirates off stage again lol

🍍Spongbob said he had a nightmare that he and Patrick weren’t friends anymore AHHH I WAS SO SAD BC HE WAS LIKE NOOOOOOOOO and they had the voice that says “1 hour later” and the lights would blink out and it eventually gets to fifteen years later and he has a white beard lol.

🍍let’s just clap for the conductor bc she literally hands and takes a ton of props from the actors

🍍The government is getting worse and the mayor says “you’re either with me or against me”

🍍Armageddon rich Lol

🍍They’ve got a cool box that glows when it opens with Sandy’s invention in it

🍍they should just give plankton and Karen another song

🍍the electric skates are on skateboards and skates

🍍idek if it was supposed to happen but one of them (green Hair dude) fell off his board when he was doing a cool stunt thing 😬

🍍Squidward has tissue in his ears while they’re singing

🍍red head dude just shouts “rOCk and rOlL”

🍍these bitches give poor squidward the most ridicilous list and they told him if he got it all he would be able to open for them THEY DONT EVEN HOLD UP THEIR END OF THE DEAL UGHH

🍍Chop to the top was lit. Also Ethan is like a rubber band he just twists and sings upside down and stretches

🍍Patrick gets a thrown and these sardines are worshipping

🍍IiiIiiIieeeieiii GUESS I MISS YOUuuUuUu

🍍”Sheldon sounds so small. Maybe you could call me something else like...... big guy?” “big guy??” “YES BIG GUY SAY IT AGAIN” “big guy” “ahh” “BIG GUY” *strange sexual noise, jumps into planktons arms, they make out and hearts appear in the background*

🍍LET MY BABY SING HIS TENTACLE SPECTACLE

🍍HES NOT A LOSER

🍍shook is the wrong word to describe how I felt when Gavin lee started rap dancing with four legs WTF. I wish they performed something else at the tony awards but WOWOW HES SO GOOD

🍍Perch Shows the rubble that is bikini bottom on the news

🍍the mayor makes me want to poke my eyes out

🍍Another bolder falls, Larry goes crazy and old man Jenkins gets flattened

🍍As they narrate spongbob and sandy climbing the mounts they use cabbage patch kinda lol

🍍Patrick comes in on the ceiling, flying bc of Sandy’s jet pack

🍍I love spongbob and Patrick I need a best friend like that “WE ARE BACK AND THIS IS THE BACK DANCE”

🍍the volcano is made of ladders

🍍SPONGEBOB BRINGS MANAGEMENT TO THE TEAM HES MANAGER MATERIAL

🍍so many turns and twists ETHAN SINGS UPSIDEDOWN

🍍ofC SPONGEBOB IS THE ONLY ONE WHO CAN FIX IT AND HE DOES YOURE DOING AMAZING SWEETIE

🍍it’s complete chaos when they all get back down from the mountain

🍍the mayor and the press (perch) hate each other and perch is tied up and ballgagged Lol

🍍ITS THE BEST DAY EVER

🍍they’re all holding hands waiting for the end and then bubbles fall bc sandy is a success bby squirrel

🍍plankton reveals that this was an evil schemes

🍍plankton and krabs are arguing and their curses are blocked out by dolphin squeals

🍍Spongebob gets his uke from the conductor and he screams are you ready to rock and he does an air split thing and starts playing bikini bottom day sps track l

🍍Audience is sprayed with confetti and other fun stuff and then they throw out beach balls and sing the theme song. It’s such a fun show I wish a lot more people would give it a show. If I’m being honest I enjoyed it much more than I enjoyed Hamilton when I saw it in chi.

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lauramclark · 7 years ago

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Goodbye Beth

Shock. Total complete shock. That’s what I felt when I heard you’d passed away this morning. Then came a flood of images. Your face, hands, and that closed mouth smile that’s so “Beth”. Your bright blue eyes, strong jaw, and strawberry blonde hair. You always wanted to grow your hair out long but I liked it short.

Hugs. I’m not big on hugging, but you always gave the best, most sincere hugs.

We have a big family with lots of cousins, but when someone mentions the word ‘cousin’ I think of you. We are only one year apart in age and we lived close, so we pretty much grew up together. You had more challenges to face than I did, but you always faced them, and with a smile.

My life is filled with memories of you. We spent most holidays together. Whenever I think of New Year’s, Halloween, Thanksgiving, or Christmas, you’re there.

One time around Christmas we slept in your living room under the Christmas tree. It had an angel on top that moved her hands back and forth and scared us all night long. We knew it probably would have been a good idea to just unplug the tree but that meant the lights would have gone out too and we were both too scared to do that because of that darn angel staring down at us as we slept.

We took trips to Disneyland together and went to the El Toro Air Show. I got my first loose tooth at your house. I don’t remember ever fighting, but being kids so close in age I’m sure we did.

Sleepovers were popular, either at your house or mine. When we were younger we’d have sponge rollers in our hair and watch shows like Fraggle Rock or The Muppets, and sing along to the musical Annie. They all remind me of you.

As we got older we’d watch TGIF or the Fresh Prince of Bel Air and stay up long after the lights went out, talking about random things like why you liked NKOTB so much or who your next or current boyfriend was. Oftentimes there were multiple.

You liked the fan on at night because you slept hot, but your feet were cold (you were a kicker when you slept, so I remember those cold feet!). Your room was filled with posters of Alyssa Milano, Cris Cross, and NKOTB. You loved NKOTB so much they were on your curtains. You had Precious Moments collectables on your dresser, one for each year you were born. I always looked forward to your birthday to see which figure you’d get next.

Your mom calls you “Sweet Pea” so whenever I hear it you come to mind. Quesadillas remind me of you, as does cinnamon toast, Mastermind, and playing King of the Hill.

I remember being slightly jealous of how close you were with Granny and Grandad, and how often you got to go visit them in Texas.

Summers were filled with camping and the beach, sometimes at the same time. Either way there’d be a big campfire with jiffy pop popcorn and root beer and chili. We’d ride bikes during the day and sleep in the same tent at night and tell funny ghost stories like “swish-pop” or even just make them up as we went. Chris was the best at making up stories. Sometimes we’d laugh so much we’d cry but it was worth it.

All 5 of us cousins would have light sticks attached to a string we’d throw high up into the air and then try to find when it landed. Ortega Oaks was our favorite because it had a pool and an arcade, but O’Neill was pretty great too because we could ride bikes and play in the creek.

Your family had a house in Big Bear. We went there together a few times. We’d go to the arcade to play ski-ball or visit the bowling alley. One time your mom bought us matching pajamas and we wore them the entire weekend. There was Bodacious, fishing, ping pong, and Skip-bo. I’m not sure which time it was, but it must have been in winter because we were the ones who made it snow in Big Bear. I’m sure we were the reason it happened because it was totally clear the day before, but as we went to bed we told ourselves it was going to snow tomorrow, even though it was warm and sunny today. We really believed it would, and when we woke up to an unexpected snowstorm that caused it to take us hours to drive back down the mountain we were thrilled! Snow!

On your 11th birthday we went to the beach and met 2 guys. One was named Ricky and the other Carlos. They asked for my phone number but I didn’t want to give mine out so I gave them yours instead. I remember being mildly scared when they actually called and I was there when you answered. We sat a few steps down on the blue stairs and talked to them on the phone that was just outside your bedroom. Then we hung up and laughed because neither of us really liked them.

When you turned 14 we had another sleepover. We were supposed to go to an Angels baseball game but when we got there it was all sold out so we rented a bunch of movies instead and pulled an all-nighter.

We went to Girl Scout Camp and set up tents, cooked, swam, hiked, sang songs and built fires together. We were masters of card games like Go-Fish and War. Oh boy, were we good at War! You were always excited when War was declared and we chanted: “One, Two, Three, Four, I declare a Civil War!” If it happened twice in a row it was the best game ever.

In recent years we haven’t lived quite so close, but we’ve still stayed in touch. You like to remind me when it’s “National Beth Day” and I like to hear about where you live, work, and how family is doing. You love and are so proud of your nephew Brian.

You’re always ready for a silly joke that’s entertaining to all but seriously quite lame. I believe the most recent one you told me was What do you call the security outside of a Samsung Store? Guardians of the Galaxy. You’re hilarious, and we all know it. I’ll get random texts from you that start out with “I’m a vampire” and then we’ll continue on this vein, pretending it’s so, for an hour or so. You know we’re both in our mid-late 30s? This is normal, right?

When Granny died we talked on the phone for 15 minutes, and then sat in silence for another two not knowing what to say, but knowing we both needed the silence together.

As I referred to in the beginning of this letter, you faced many challenges that eventually came with the diagnosis of Autism, long before it was understood. I can’t begin to imagine the struggles you faced, but I have to say you being in my life made me a better person. You taught me perseverance, compassion, empathy, and patience. Things like school, relationships, and problem solving came harder for you, but you worked on them anyway and became a compassionate adult.

While I’m shocked and saddened I won’t be getting a random text from you again informing me the moon is now officially green and you’re its master, I do know I’ll see you again in heaven. I know this because when we were about 7 or 8 we had a very in-depth discussion about faith and accepting Jesus Christ into your heart. While we were in the shower.

I’m going to miss you Beth. I’m going to miss your smile, your sense of humor, and your unique “Bethness”. I’m hoping it’s a long time before I see you again, but in the meantime I’ll be thinking of you always and look forward to celebrating “National Beth Day” with you again when I get to Heaven.

#cousins #mullenfamily

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so-litudinal · 8 years ago

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apr. 8-17, 2017

I could use a change or two

> names:

Mona Sergei / Sergueï Joseph / Yossef / Yusuf Puer (Mater) Jacob

> Emily Dickinson, poem 867:

I felt a Cleaving in my Mind – As if my Brain had split – I tried to match it – Seam by Seam But could not make them fit – The thought behind, I strove to join Unto the thought before – But Sequence ravelled out of Sound Like Balls – upon a Floor –

> It’s been days and days that I’ve been meaning to write, that I actually have wanted to share or at least word out certain thoughts and impressions. Like every other time I postponed my writing and then eventually came to it, my first impulse is to scribble awkward explanations, almost excuses — for whom and what for, no need to ask. It is again (though I’m not sure I can accurately single out a moment in the recent past where this was not the case) this state of rampant fatigue. I was just reading an introduction to Emily Dickinson’s poems earlier and while remarking on her occasionally (and presumably) unstable mental health, the author referred to catatonia. I looked into it a little more and what I read, for the most part, really hit home. I should ban Wikipedia from my information resources but... “[la catatonie] est une forme de schizophrénie caractérisée par des périodes de passivité et de négativisme alternant avec des excitations soudaines.” O-K-É (One thing led to another, I ended up reading about aboulia/apragmatisme and avolition/aboulie. On the French wiki page of the latter, it is said that “aboulie” can be mistaken with the syndrome of psychic auto-activation loss (syndrome de perte d’auto-activation psychique, PAAP), which is often the result of carbon monoxide poisoning. Says a lot about my low-key obsession with Todd Haynes’ ‘Safe’ lol. Also, Carol White’s all-white outfit ft. Emily Dickinson’s wearing only white......)

> The Moon is almost full, the thought of it makes me anxious.

> The ‘On this day’ Facebook app is so stressful, yet I can’t help checking it out on a daily basis lol... Five years from today (april 9th) I was sharing Gary Jules’ ‘Mad World’ videoclip* along with some lines from the songs (probably the ones that most spoke to me at the time). Before that it had already been a very important/present song in my life; during certain periods I would listen almost exclusively to it in an endless row. Somehow towards the end of my senior year, it became even more haunting... Wowowow remembering is such an odd process — unexpected memories keep barging in as I’m writing this (it feels like a long while since I’ve last had such hectic brain activity ha).

Thinking of that last semester in secondary school obviously brings me back to the fire we had in our apartment. The weeks and months (I’d even say years but I’m not sure it’s all that connected) that followed were chaotic and I find the images and impressions I keep the most vivid memories of quite surprising. For instance, we stayed at our neighbour Mireille’s for a couple of weeks right after the incident (it was also during those weeks that my mother told my stepfather she wanted divorce). On Friday evenings we watched a singing competition on TV (The Voice France, who am I trying to fool) and there was this girl, Al.hy, I really liked. I don’t know for how long after this performance of hers sent me trippin’ every time I would listen to/watch it (also, judging from this video, my sister still looked a lot like Jenifer in it and it was a pretty good time in our relationship — it’s gotten colder, almost bitter). (Note to self: how come you still haven’t gotten more into Kate Bush?) With hindsight, I now can tell that I was able to go back to school despite the events and actually do very well for my finals (though I have very little memory of that — it all feels like a handful of weeks, not three whole months) because I was dissociating so hard. Yeah, probably the longest dissociative episode of my life... When summer vacations started, I slowly gained back a sense of realness and tangibility. It turned out so violent after all this time being numb that I had a major depressive episode for two months at least (July and August thus). I remember living with my mother in the apartment my stepfather had found for himself while he was living in our former one during the reconstruction work (we only moved back around October); that apartment had an amazing view from the rear windows. I remember the heatwaves that added to the dramatic and unbearable character of everyday life. I remember writing overly sentimentalist notes in a notebook. I remember not being able to go out or actually going out and having to go back “home”. I remember hating my body and becoming obsessive with my daily workouts. I remember watching Catherine Frot’s filmography with my mother. I remember going through an awkward and tough patch with my best friend and not seeing each other for a long time (sending each other very weird emails I’m glad I wasn’t able to find back later). I remember discovering and rewatching ‘Martyrs’ several times over the span of a few days — I believed it changed me and I couldn’t distance myself from it. I remember loving Jodhi May lol. I remember not having any control on my hair washing OCD: I would take several showers a day and wash my hair every day (it was hard not to do so more than once), even at past midnight — when I think of this period one of the first words that comes to my mind is “dirty” (then I guess it’s a sensation very closely associated to my most disrupted periods). I remember the kitchen and its table, actually I remember the whole apartment quite clearly. I remember misophonia being particularly severe (and I’m kinda nervous to note that I feel it has lately become as bad as it was at the time). What a mess...

‘Mad World’ videoclip reminds me of two things. First, Hey Arnold’s ‘Pigeon Man’ episode... An epiphany. I like to imagine Jim Jarmusch drawing his inspiration from this episode to write and direct ‘Ghost Dog’. Second is a book I had to read for my French class in my third year of secondary school: Philippe Delerm’s ‘L’Envol’. It was probably not even that good but it was another key self-revealing item from my adolescence. While discussing it in class, I remember the teacher — she was sitting right in front of me — noting in a very sad but compassionate tone: “Some people are just not made for life”. I understand how it can be misinterpreted or ill-received but at the time it really touched me and came as a relief, regarding my father (though I’ve had/still have a hard time admitting it), regarding myself and my conception of life and death. Actually this sense of relief is still accurate up to this day. It doesn’t matter (shouldn’t matter) but this was the same teacher I was talking about (the one who had passed me by some time ago) in a previous post. I shouldn’t summon too many memories from that time, considering it’s one of which I’m most ashamed of. Just gonna leave this here...

The “On this day” app also managed to remind me, a few days ago, that the last time I visited Tunisia was in April 2009. Eight years that feel rather as an eternity. It’s one of the visits “back home” (that’s a lie) I keep the fondest memory of. Especially one particular day when my aunt and uncle introduced me and my mother to a married couple of friends, very sweet and gentle people who had a beautiful house outside the city. They invited us for lunch and while we were sitting at the table in the kitchen their son came in and gave two red roses he had picked in the garden to my aunt and mother. I felt very left out lol. Then we drove with them even further into the countryside (I can’t remember where in Tunisia it was or even if it was near Sousse or not). We arrived at the husband’s mother’s “farm”, where she lived and also had a vast plantation of olive trees. Her name was Zrira (/s5ira/) which means small, little one (or petite in French). And indeed she was so small, small and warm. I had never felt so heartily welcomed before. The wife’s name was Rouza (rose) but I’ve forgotten the husband’s. We visited the plantation and a bit of the farm where I got to see a beautiful cow. Rouza and Zrira were drawing water from a well (was it on a cliff?) as I was taking a couple pictures of them. I’ve been trying to find those pictures for a couple of years now. I can’t for the life of me recall whether I took them with a disposable camera or my phone (if it’s the latter, chances are I will never get them back). The sky was grey, I think it even rained (April is generally a rainy season in North Tunisia) but still it’s one of my dearest memory.

Maybe I should learn Arabic after all... I think a lot about Tunisia lately. Maybe it’s associated with my father’s death date, which was on March 31st, 2002. Was it the 31st or the 21st? One of them is his death date, the other his birthday but I’ve always mixed them up. Anyway, 15 years ago — I’m not sure I feel anything about it. I miss the big jasmine tree in our front yard. My room’s smelled of jasmine for the past four days. Though it’s one of my favourite smells, at first it found me more disrupted than happy, more upset than nostalgic. But I’m cool now.

> My room smells of jasmine because on Thursday my mother and I went to a plant nursery/garden-centre (whatever the name is) 40 mn walk from our house (15 mn by the bus). It was so beautiful over there it got me emotional (cried a little a few times). We gathered some ideas for the garden. I even got to meet a gorgeous doggo (and petted him — lol that reminds me that the owner at some point told me it was okay to pet the dog but I’d already done so long before hehe). While the man was telling my mother about berries bushes, I felt a ray of sunshine piercing through the roof of the greenhouse and just as I turned around and looked up, a heron flew over slowly. My mother got me a potted jasmine plant and I chose a pale rose buttercup for my best friend, with whom I was supposed to meet the day after. We walked all the way back home, me hugging the plants in my arms and sucking on a lollipop offered for free at the checkout counter. I love Spring, way more so even since I’ve moved here. Sometimes I’m afraid I’m only meant to love Spring and everything is doomed to be unbearable.

> When have I come to hate the Moon, especially at its fullest? Maybe I do not. I most likely do not. As the Moon keeps refilling inevitably I am reminded of how little I have in my hands — more dreadful: how what little I have in my hands is left untouched and uncared for. I shy away from the Moon because it is at once the judge, the witness and the proof of an abject motionless life and le bourreau is never as terrible as when hidden in the dark in total silence.

> Today I got to see the first cows of the year outside!!! Is it finally the time they’re taking them out? I wish I could dream of cows — that would be a very soft dream. I’ve often daydreamed that in the Summer I could lie down in the grass and take a nap, curling up against the warm side of a cow. I’ve had several dreams with horses but they were more like nightmares... or anxiety-filled dreams I guess. Somewhat for me horses fit that atmosphere of tension and on-edge nerves. Sometimes I wouldn’t even get the full picture of a horse, only its franticly galloping legs — and the sound that comes with it. In reality I am lightly afraid of them; an uneasy sort of feeling when being around some, though on the other hand I am mostly thrilled. I find them most impressive at night. And for some reason they always appear to me out of the blue, completely unexpected. Unlike many of my others fears, the one I have for horses I’m willing to overcome.

> O-K-A-Y crazy day today + one of the most beautiful and intense moments of my life (as well as one of the most needed).

I passed my theory driving license exam. Now that the easiest is behind, I can go on with the real hassle lol.

Had yet another fight with mother that ended in a monologue/therapy session but at least it helped release some of the tension.

On the evening walk with the dog, while the sun was slowly setting, the moment happened. I went back to the field where I saw the cows the other day. I stood still behind the fence, watched them graze. I’d been there for a couple minutes, occasionally waving at the ones that were glancing at us when all of sudden a first one started striding towards us and immediately after the rest of them followed. There they were, fourteen (!!!) beautiful cows standing in line in front of me, all curious though a little cautious (farouche would suit perfectly here). I stayed there a good 20 minutes, reaching my hand out so that they could smell (and lick haha) my fingers. After a few minutes I could even carefully pat a couple of them on the head and feed them some grass. Leaving was so hard, and I didn’t have a camera with (not that it mattered) but as I was walking away backwards they formed this breath-taking picture against the flaming setting sun. I think of cows all year round. I cried and tried hard to be there.

During that same walk we also saw three pheasants running through fields and a couple of beautiful birds.

I was talking about how I’d been feeling, or rather not feeling lately (catatonia and so on) and I didn’t realise I was digging my nail into my palm so hard that it’d been bleeding all the while. It isn’t even that I’m exhausted. I only feel like sleeping par dépit. What else is there to do?

> I’m feeling kinda sad for the ice-cream man who’s just driven by my window in his van, chiming his bells tune and slowing down every other metre even though it’s a very cloudy and rainy day, with no one outside.

> Some events from a week ago, on a Sunday, when it was still as warm as a Summer day.

On one of the flowers of the potted buttercup I’d bought for my best friend, I found a tiny snail. I let it slither along my hand and fed it some lettuce before taking it outside in the garden with me. I named it Edgar II, after Edgar I, the snail I had encountered on a trip to the seaside about 4 years ago.

I said it before: it’s this time of the year when all the sheep are having babies, most of them have gotten bigger already. That day, in one of the pastures closest to our house, where two sheep and a lamb have been living, the lamb was particularly curious and playful that evening. It wanted to get closer to the dog and also reached my hand with his tiny pink snout (so soft!) every time I stretched it out. When my mother did the same, it started sucking her finger. A bit further on, on a plot of land where there were about thrice as many sheep and ten times as many lambs, the latter were even more lively. As we were feeding one of the adults some grass, a whole flock of about ten lambs ran through the plot. What a view.

> Over two weeks ago, I went to the open campus day of the University in town. It was an exhausting and exhilarating day for the most part. But I zoned out completely before it was even finished, and now my clearest memory is the imposing magnolia in bloom in the centre of a small inner courtyard of the Languages Department. I sat there drinking chocolate milk. On that day I was also reminded of how exciting languages are! Also I met a cute mom lol. I felt even more lost once the visit was over but I was kind of proud. (Dissociative crisis ensued.) Ah yeah, I won a contest (we were supposed to recognize as many languages as possible upon hearing students reciting passages of ‘The Little Prince’ in 20 languages — I got all of them right) and my prize was a sweater with the department’s initials printed on the back lol.

Almost forgot that on the evening I attended a multiple screening of some Franco Piavoli’s works. He was there and his presentations and conclusions seemed never-ending and most people were rude and disrespectful. But I love his films. I don’t know, it’s been too long, I forgot. I’m scared.

> Today: Easter breakfast prepared with love by mother. On the evening walk, petted my favourite lamb as if it were a dog — its eyes were closing with pleasure as I was scratching its head (reminded me a bit of the sensation of Bellustre the poodle’s soft top of the head). And most importantly, went back to the cows. They ran to me again, shoot a bit this time, fed them some carrots, they’re the best.

> So piano has made sort of a low-key comeback lately, in my heart and mind more than in the facts but still... Not gonna get into detail here and now for I might just break the spell (so scared it’s already happened). Only wanted to tell this. We moved the piano in a more appropriate place last week. On the day that followed mother went visited my grandma who apparently happened to ask her if “there was anything going on with my music and my piano because she’d thinking about it the past few days”... She knows I quit playing some years ago. It’s as if she’d sensed it. It made me feel good and closer to her again since things had gotten a bit tense on my side ever since the period she was staying at the hospital. We’re connected despite everything.

> I genuinely and whole-heartedly value kindness. Nothing makes me feel more at ease in society than people who perpetrate acts of absolute selfless kindness. A few occurrences that continue to make me smile weeks after:

I had sent a email to a former Italian teacher of mine before Spring break, to brief him about my current situation and potential plans and ask him for tips and advice on how to maintain my Italian skills and perhaps increase my knowledge by reading some authors. His first reply came on the following day and everything from the way he formulated the quick couple of sentences he wrote to the very content of his message (he was to elaborate more on the weekend for he was in a hurry that morning) sounded so well-meaning. After that I didn’t get another answer for over two weeks lol... But one came today that I was hardly even expecting any more. A very helpful one with that.

I remember going to the cinema, also before Spring break, with mother to see a doc called ‘You Have No Idea How Much I Love You’ (of course we had to see that one). Afterwards, as we were waiting on a platform for our train back home, we were eating spring-rolls when the station master came out of his office just to give us a bunch of paper napkins. HOW SWEET?!! When our train arrived I quickly knocked on his window to wave thank you and goodbye.

Old lady helping another old lady and his man get safely to their seats in the bus.

> On the other hand I react very badly (though it’s mostly internalized) to being ignored. It’s happened one too many times lately, for instance my former piano teacher never replied to my mail asking him for advice on how and where to pick it up again. Good thing I eventually got some feedback from the Italian teacher.

> I read this article on the too-soon-to-be-called-a-loss of the first language and I actually shed tears lolilol. I know there are some truths I’m gonna have to face now.

> The night before last night (I think) I had a dirty dream about Martha Argerich. [Except I’d left this last part aside and have only inserted it back now so I’m not sure which night I was referring to.]

OK! I’ve been writing this over the course of 9 days I think. WAY TOO LONG, if you want my opinion but well.

#t #april #spring #2017

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sambart93 · 8 years ago

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2017.01.23 Tegami - Yanagishita Tomo Verson [Review!]

This is the THIRD Tegami stage, the first one in 2008, then the musical in 2016 and now this one is the rerun of the 2016 musical... Also it is originally a book written by Higashino Keigo (a hugely popular mystery/thriller/crime author here in Japan so explains why it’s gotten so many adaptations) in 2003 and there is movie adaptation of it too from 2006 (available on UK Netflix at least!). So safe to say this story is popular.

Official Site here. Official Twitter here. Dress Rehearsal Video here and here and here. Press Coverage 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8.

This was my first Tomo play since, well his last one, September so it was great to see him again! I'll admit I was nervous because it's technically the first time I've heard him sing (Tenimyu and the D-DATE CD doesn’t count!), and it's definitely the first time I've heard him sing in person and live. But more on that later! First let’s get the cast list out of the way:

CAST

Yanagishita Tomo / Ota Motohiro (Double Cast) as Takashima Naoki (Younger Brother) Yoshihara Mitsuo as Takeshima Kouji (Older Brother) Fujita Rei as Terao Yuusuke Kato Ryousuke Kawaguchi Tatsuya Someya Kouta GOH IRIS WATANABE Igarashi Kae Wada Kiyoka Okonogo Mari Yamamoto Sayaka

Some PreShow Stuff:

I was in the first row and my seat was the FIRST one!! I was Row A-1!!! How weird is that!! I still needed my glasses but not much. I was a little nervous when I first showed but because the first 30 minutes loads of kankeishas turned up and were picking up their tickets so I definitely felt out of place. And then the guy ROLLS into the theatre with this loud rolling suitcase and tight jeans and sunglasses and he takes them off and it was so actor-like that I almost laughed right in front of his face. I didn't think actors who acted like they're actors and all actually exist! It was hilarious to witness xD

Anyway, so there was I was in the front row and one of the first in and obviously everyone's looking but I've learnt to deal with it but this I felt like it was more than usual.

Ooooooh! Before I go on I must talk about the very angry moment I had before the play started. So I put all my stuff on my seat, grabbed my letter for Tomo and instead of looking around embarrassingly for the 'Present' section, I decided it was safe to just go to staff and ask 'where do we give stuff in for actors?' and he's like 'you want a blanket?' um... 'No, which staff person do I hand stuff into for the actors?' 'The goods are here' seriously... 'no! I WROTE a LETTER, WHO do I give this to?' 'Oh, over there' 'Thank you....' and so I made more of an embarrassment of myself that way anyway! Seriously though, my Japanese ISN’T that bad and I KNOW it. Maybe it's because I speak SUPER fast (even in English people can’t catch what I say sometimes) but like, it really was a blow to my confidence that I had to say the same thing about 4 times and in 3 different ways and even had to slow down to a ridiculous level and emphasis before he understood me. I get that you don't expect me to speak Japanese and at first hearing me speak Japanese when you expect English is jolting but come on!! It made me super pissed. I obviously bowed a thank you to him but the last 15 or so minutes before the stage started, I was just sat in my seat super pissed and embarrassed and filled with not nice feels.

ANYWAY!!

Now to the set:

The stage is set out in sections thanks to the use of box platforms and they used these platforms to look either like rooms or like cages/cells, as well as there being a flight of stairs and then there's two high platforms at the top just under a cloudy sky backdrop. It's a good set up.

Now to THE STORY: I’m going to try and be as concise as possible because, as I said, this is like the 3rd/4th adaptation of this story so you can easily watch the movie (available with subs on the UK Netflix btw! So I assume other netflixs have access to it and I doubt the story has changed much.)

One day Naoki gets a call and it’s from the police; his older brother has killed someone will breaking and entering the victim’s house; he now faces life in prison. This affects Naoki’s life multiple times and in negative ways over the next 10 or so years, and the only thing that keeps Naoki and his brother, Kouji, connected is through writing letters to each other, that Kouji can only receive and send once a month.

Simple enough plot line right?

NON-SPOILER:

Overall: I cried my heart out. And it wasn’t just me. The entire crowd were balling tears from about 10 minutes into the stage until it finished. I could even hear whimpers some were crying that hard. This was a touching story and it hits you in the feels. I am very pleasantly happy with Tomo’s singing ability and I did enjoy myself. But I feel the first half was much more engaging, interesting and more enjoyable (enjoyable isn’t the right word when it’s something this sad but you get the jist). The second half I personally didn’t like because I’m personally very tired and bored of ‘Japanese salaryman having a hard time’ story lines. The story was very predictable too when it comes to the friendship and romance plotlines in this, and again I personally don’t like being able to predict stuff correctly. My only serious negative is the constant repetition of songs in the second half/part of this play. Nevertheless I enjoyed it, I cried my heart out completely, I’m definitely getting the DVD, and I feel bad not having the money to go and see it again for Tomo’s sake and so I could see it from further back.

Rating: 7/10

SPOILERS:

Entering spoiler and all details territory so you’ve been warned.

PART ONE

The first part covers the murder, Naoki being told (at age 17/18, in his last year of high school) what his brother has done and then we see the repercussions of what his brother did affecting him in daily life up to his early 20s.

The first affects of his brother’s crime is; he loses his apartment, he gets sacked from his part time job, his school want him to graduate quietly and not go to the ceremony, and universities don't want him, so in the end he has to go to work any random job he can get. There he meets a girl (played by Okonogi) who tells him he can still go to school and should do it part time and it gives him the strength to do it the year after. He ends up in the same uni as his best friend (Yuusuke played by Fujita Rei) who had stayed by his side even when everyone at school was abandoning him. Yuusuke is super happy to see him again and invites him to his live. Naoki goes and falls in love with the singer who performs before Yuusuke as well as her voice. After the band’s gig, Yuusuke asks him to join. Naoki is hesitant at first but he opens up to the two other band members about his past but they accept him anyway.

Half a year passes and he's in his final year of uni and dating the girl he fell for, and living happily, so much so that there's months apart before he writes letters to Kouji who waits patiently and excitedly that one day every month. The band finally has a chance to debut as a group, but just before they do the scouts announce they looked into the boy's history; the other two band members ask Naoki to leave the band to give the other three a chance to debut, as well as ask him to not to tell Yuusuke the cause of his leaving, naturally Yuusuke has turned up and overheard the conversation, as well as Naoki’s girlfriend, and while Yuusuke protects Naoki to the end, his girlfriend is shocked to hear about his past and can’t accept him. Yuusuke begs Naoki to stay but he leaves the band.

Naoki is left to his thoughts and decides to cut his brother off and never send another letter.

END of part one.

Did I write too much of the plot? Maybe I shouldn’t write so much because you can just read the book and the movie but... oh well it’s written! So now to the non-story sides of the stage:

There were so many tears from everyone in this. The girl next to me and the girl two rows over were wiping their tears more than me which is surprisingly because the amount I cry is ridiculous so I can’t imagine how quickly their tears were flowing. We were all wrecks. During the break all you could here were sniffles of people trying to pull themselves back together, which was all in vain because the tears just kept rolling in part two.

I really enjoyed how when Naoki is first told over the phone about his brother’s crime and arrest of how all the other actors come out and in a circle they start to surround him as they’re singing and Naoki does this manic dance as they enclose him and are singing ‘brother of a murderer! From a murder family!’ and stuff like that. It’s very disorientating and strange, but it works. OH! During this scene actually Tomo breaks out of the circle and runs to the right in a manic frenzy before being pulled back into the circle but at that moment of him breaking away and looking out manically, his eyes and mine met 10000% cos I was first row, first seat, right next to one of the lights too and I got so nervous! Although a little embarrassed because the tears had already begun to fall xD

I enjoyed watching Naoki’s life crumble (not in a sadistic way) and then seeing him take control again and getting chances to live again and enjoy life. The short and small happy moments are so worth watching and heartwarming.

When Naoki sees the girl sing for the first time, the smile on his face is freaking adorable!! I couldn’t not smile! It’s really a contagious smile - or maybe it’s because I’m Tomo’s fan). The next part when Yuusuke plays and Naoki is clapping and being happy and THEN he realises the lyrics of the song ‘Are you happy as you are now? Is this who you are?’ and just seeing him realise what the lyrics are saying and seeing his face and body language go from happy and full of life to this dark, gloomy, almost existential crisis-like Naoki. It’s an amazing transition; kudos to Tomo on that switch!

I also really, really loved Naoki and Yuusuke relationship; the way they have each others back and how they look out for each other and even small things like patting each other on the back and especially Yuusuke being like ‘I don’t care about what your brother did, I know you. I want you to stay in my life. You’re my friend no mater what’ and the support he gives Naoki is amazing. I really, really do love their dynamic and relationship. Yuusuke never gives up on Naoki and constantly cheers him up and throws him so many opportunities to become happy and stuff and ooooooh it’s beautiful!

They make Naoki do a solo before he joins the band but it sucks that they don’t let the audience hear it, instead we had him playing (in silence) in the background (with a low light on him) and then in the foreground we have Kouji doing some solo-monologue thing - I wasn’t paying attention to him obviously! - and I was annoyed because I wanted to here Tomo really sing and have a solo. I don’t think he has a solo at all in this *checks pamphlet* he has one. ONE!

Speaking of singing:

Pretty much everyone’s singing is very, very good. I didn’t seen Mokkun’s version so I can’t tell you how he is (although I’m sure upcoming TouMyu videos and reports will tell me if he can sing or not xD) Especially, Yoshihara, his singing very much surprised me and he even had big long note holds and stuff; clearly he’s the star of the show even though Tomo and Mokkun have been the ones promoting it and are the ones in the center and the main characters... not that I doubt his acting; wait til part two to see my praise for Yoshihara.

Like I said right at the beginning I was nervous about hearing Tomo sing (and live!) but I was pleasantly surprised that he could actually hold a note. He was definitely the weakest singer BUT he has the soft, light singing voice that's easy to listen to ^_^ it was cute and I was happy and impressed by his singing. Just me being biased xD

And one mean thing on my part: I couldn’t stand Kato Ryousuke, especially when he was singing. I guess its just one of those cases where you see/meet someone and you know straight away you two would never get on in a million years and I felt that from him. Sorry bro but you annoyed me and so did your singing.

I think we’re ready for part two!

PART TWO

In part two we're suddenly thrown into like 3/4 years later once he's graduated and when he's a salary man which is where I unfortunately immediately lost interest; I preferred the uni setting and it was more hopeful and light and nice and just... Japanese salaryman and the Japanese salaryman job is just the personification of DEPRESSION and MONOTONY. I hate salarymen and I want the breed to die. << I don’t want the men to die, let me make that clear, but I want the whole ‘Japanese salaryman’ job to die. If you don’t know about it just.. I’m gunna go on a rant so do your own research into it.

So yes I lost interest once we got to this stage of Naoki’s life because it was just... repetitive, in more than one way (you’ll see). It opens up with a song of them trying to shove this week's supermarket sales in our faces and you can tell Naoki's trying but it's not what he wants to do. Then the manager gets wind of his past and his brother so they transfer him to (I wanna say) Saitama. We switch back to Kouji who watches all his cell mates get letters and he's not had one for years but is still hopeful every month. The day Naoki is told he'll be transferred he ends up drinking with Yuusuke, who's now made it as a small, indie artist, and Okunogi’s character who's now doing well as a hair dresser (which was her dream). Yuusuke invites Naoki to come sing with him again, as he has an upcoming gig at the prison Kouji is in; Naoki brushes it off. The night, Naoki gets drunk and Okunogi has to take him home. There she finds that he's thrown his brother's letter in the bin. She takes it, reads it and while Naoki moves to Saitama and starts a new job, she poses as him and begins to send letters to Kouji as Naoki.

A few months pass and Naoki's just settling into his new place when his boss turns up and (unfortunately my memory is fuzzy here) in the end he goes to Okunogi’s house and apologises to her and then he finds one of his brother’s letters on her desk so she explains how she threw her father away because of what he did but she feels Naoki and Kouji can still make amends.

Another 5/6 years pass and they're married (which was totally predictable! From the moment Naoki meets her in part one I knew they’d end up together in the end, ugh I hate being right) and have a little girl. While they thought they were living in paradise, the town finally finds out about his brother and they start to ingore them and distant themselves from them and (again predictable and repetitive) work finds out too and once again he’s given a transfer. This is the final straw for Naoki who tells his wife to stop messaging his brother as him and he'll send one final letter finally cutting ties.

Naturally, Kouji is excited to receive the letter and even exclaims 'it's been a long time since I got a handwritten one!' (his wife had been writing the text on the pc and printing it off ). In it Naoki explains how it was his wife and how this is the last time he'll ever send a letter to him. His brother naturally breaks. To make matters worse, their little girl ends up in a traffic accident. That night at the hospital, the mother of the son who had hit their daughter turns up to apologise and Naoki gets mad saying he'll never forgive him and asks her why she bothered turning up when he's still mad etc. Once the mother has left, Okunogi’s explains 'just like this incident, there are victims that never forget.' This influences Naoki to see Kouji's victim's son. He let's Naoki in and is very calm about it all even though Naoki never came once in the ten years to apologise. The son pulls out a bag and says 'they're all from your brother. Every month I would get them. But last month was the last' and so Naoki reads the final letter his brother has sent to the victim. Unfortunately my memory is fuzzy here too! But essentially, Naoki feels bad for avoiding the victim all this time and is touched that his brother never gave up on his brother and has never forgiven himself and is so hopeful about Naoki.

Finally Naoki agrees to go with Yuusuke to the concert, and Yuusuke introduces himself normally and all the cellmates are excited and then there's this beautiful moment Naoki is introduced and comes on stage (jesus I'm gunna start crying in the middle of freaking restaurant writing this) and comes to the mic and spotlight and Kouji immediately recognises him and there's like (not shitting you) 5 minutes where they both find each other in the crowd and Kouji goes from slowly standing up in shock, to collapsing on his knees crying and he just cries harder and harder and Naoki ends up breaking down too and then starts smiling while crying and this massive reconciliation between them even though there's a crowd and everything between them but shiiiit you can feel the connection instantaneously and it just gets stronger. This ending and this scene is absolutely phenominal and the acting is amazing during this scene. Absolutely phenomenal. And then it ends. (I'm pretty sure it ends there).

Sorry I wrote so much of the plot again =/

You know what I’m going to say: everyone was crying so hard!! I could ever hear WHIMPERS during this final silence part in the crowd a few rows back. As you can see I disliked the second part because of the repetition of the finding out and people abandoning him and him being transferred again and also the songs in the second half we almost ALL repeated songs from the first part and seriously one song is sung like 3 times in part two and it’s not even a good song(!) so yes the repetition irked me a little. But damn the finale is amazingly powerful.

I liked how supportive Okunogi’s character was of Naoki and, like Yuusuke, never left his side even when he was being ridiculous about cutting ties with his brother and even though he was getting very angry during the hospital scene. Seriously, all one person needs is just someone, that one person, to stay by their side to make the world better. And Naoki had two of them and I really liked the relationships he had with Yuusuke and Okunogi. Although like I said, total predictable that people would find out about his past again and that he would end up with Okunogi’s character.

The staging scared me sometimes. At one point Rei was moving back but didn’t realise just how close to the edge he was and he almost put him foot down on air rather than the stage and he was stood right next to me so I was shitting myself. Also the way they SWUNG those stairs around towards the side of the stage and so close to the edge was super scary too! My poor anxiety xD BUT there is one part where Tomo was stood on the stairs and he’s lift his hand with the letter in and his hoodie and shirt had lifted up a little so I got a lovely sneaky, quick view of his stomach <3 hehehehe I’m a perv, I’m sorry... Also Tomo hair is SO adorable in this!! I hope he keeps the style for a while! <3

Oh man that ending... I can’t.. words cannot describe it. I hope it shows up as amazingly on DVD...

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I DID promised Tomo I'd come and see it again this week but unfortunately I'm way too broke to spend 8000 yen on a ticket I don't necessarily need although I'd love to see it again but I financially can't. I'm defo preordering the DVD though!! Damn...

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And I’m done! I hope you enjoyed that review and apologies if it’s long!

#yanagishita tomo #fujita #fujita ray #ota motohiro #oota motohiro #tegami #review #stage #舞台 #手紙 #東野圭吾

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jolangley · 7 years ago

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On Tuesday, April 4th, 2017, I finished up a test in my biweekly night class and went straight from KVCC into a two hour drive that would be my last foreseen trip up to the Malek household. I was alone with my GPS, music, luggage, computer, and backpack. The miles stretched before me, but I came to the 55 MPH section of road before I knew that I had driven that far. The country scenes continued to loom before me as I daydreamed about all of the times I had driven this road before. I finally slowed down at the wooden Village of Ashley sign with the Santa on it and turned left onto the dirt road. On the left was a corn field. Their house sat between a neighbor on their right and a gas station with a storage barn on their left. I pulled into their unpaved driveway. Since their turnaround was occupied by two of their four cars, I just pulled up to the right side of the two doored garage. I turned off the GPS on my tablet and stacked my iPod and wallet on top of it. I looked up at the garage and smiled. How long would it be until I would make the drive up here again? Was this the last time? How many memories would not be made? Slowly shaking the questions out of my head, I turned off the headlights and then took the keys and got out of the car. The garage door opened and I saw Mr. Malek in the doorway to the house, just turning away from the button. As I held the computer case in front of me, I had to just hope that my sports bag wouldn’t knock something off of the shelf pressed against the garage wall on the right. I confidently walked forward, and in the error of my ways, I somehow got myself connected to the shelf. Hoping that it was just a fluke, I took a tentative step forward, only to stop when I felt my bag tug on my shoulder. Because of the tightness of the space I was in, I tried a few more times to move forward. I stopped, closed my eyes and sighed when I heard the basketballs fall from whatever I was connected to and bounce off the shelf and into the garage. Of course I knocked something over. Laughing at the small spectacle I made of myself, Mr. Malek came down the tiny flight of concrete stairs. I set down the bags and moved by the window right next to the shelf. “I, uhh, I’m so sorry” I stuttered while I collected the balls and put them back on the shelf as he unhooked the drawstring ball bag from my sports bag. Once in the house, I was greeted with a shower of love, per the norm. And the colors are golden and bright again. There’s a song in my heart, I feel like I belong. Mrs. Malek motioned to a pile of carry-on sized bags by the counter in between the edge of the kitchen and the end of the living room and told me to set everything down. I did as I was told and explained that I needed to finish some homework and emails on the computer that would require Wi-Fi. I set up and logged into my computer and Amanda so graciously connected it to the internet. I sat on one of the island bar stools and opened Vista. Soon after I started my Spanish homework, people started going to bed. I waved goodnight to Mr. Malek, and gave a hug to Lucas and Mrs. Malek. Dylan excitedly asked if he could stay up with me. I smiled at him at asked him what a word was in Spanish. He sat on my right and looked at my computer screen. Amanda put away dishes, I did my Spanish homework and emailed people, and the three of us talked and laughed until 11 something, and departed to our separate beds. Amanda to hers, Dylan went to the room he shares with Lucas, and I brought my bag down to Jared’s empty room. I wrapped myself in the tie blanket that still smelled exactly like him, and fell asleep faster than I had in a long time.

The Maleks are a family of early birds. I am some mix of night owl and permanently exhausted pigeon. I woke up to the sound of Mr. Malek playing a video on his phone in the laundry room with the washer going. I rolled over and grabbed my iPod from the ground. “What time is it?” 6:30 AM. Figures. I unplugged it and sat up. I got on Pinterest and before I knew it, Mrs. Malek moved the blanket that Jared had tied to the top of his doorless doorframe. “Morning. Did Monte wake you up?” I stuttered a bit before I got my thoughts out. “Well, umm, no not really, no.” Mrs. Malek nodded asserted that “Yeah, he did, didn’t he?” I nodded, and she asked if I wanted coffee. “Oh for sure. I’ll be up in a sec.” I picked up the clothes I had set out the night before and quickly got changed, hoping for the love of God that Mr. Malek wouldn’t come in. I stuffed everything back into my sports bag and dragged myself upstairs. We drank coffee, Dylan made me a bagel, and I watched them get ready for the day. Mr. Malek pulled their car out of the garage, and pulled mine in. Once done with my breakfast, I finished getting ready, and we all eventually loaded the car up and came back inside. The eight of us eventually filed into the car, and we were on our way.

When you pull out your camera, it always ends up as a picture of this child.

What is a car trip without people falling asleep on each other?

Airports: the seemingly endless cycle of waiting, moving spots, and waiting some more. A near two hour trip brought us from the small village of Ashley to the Detroit airport at noon. Our flight was going to fly out at 1 PM on April 5, so we got there at noon on the 5th to make sure we had enough time. Four hours later, we laughed, waited, cried, and nearly died. The parental units printed out our boarding passes, and Mrs. Malek noticed a slight problem. The time had changed from 1:00 PM that day to 9:00 AM. The next day. That was not about to happen. The Airman’s run was at 7 AM on the 6th, so a 9 AM flight would not have cut it to say the least. Mr. and Mrs. Malek fought tooth and nail just to get a flight that would at least get us to Texas the night of the 5th. We found out that our first flight got canceled due to the weather in Atlanta, they weren’t flying anyone in or out of that airport. Our second flight had the same problem. They finally put us on standby for two flights that had about four seats each. One parent would go on the 6-something PM flight with three of the children, and the other parent would go on the 8-something PM flight with the other three children. While we were on standby for those flights, the seats started to fill up. Luci, the 7-year-old who barely speaks English, just understands the concept of airports, and always “has to have her way”, was going to be the unattended minor. ‘Cuz that makes sense. Starbucks is definitely a lifesaver.

They finally found a plane that had enough seats for the eight of us. We went to the gate they told us to go to, which was right next to a Chick-Fil-A and Qdoba. We put down our luggage in two rows facing each other by the window. I remember getting chicken nuggets and lemonade. We waited their for a while. We ate our nuggets, tossing sauce packets and nuggets across the isle between us. I looked out the vast window on my right and prayed that the rain wouldn’t evolve into a thunderstorm. Lucas piped up. “What else could go wrong today?” I looked from the window to him. “Weather.” It was finally our turn to board. As expected, we weren’t all sitting next to each other on the plane. Mr. Malek, Dylan and Lucas were up in the front of the plane, and Mr. Malek eventually got bumped up to first class. Mengsi was in around row 14, Luci and Mrs. Malek were sitting together in row 16. I was directly behind Mrs. Malek, and Amanda was an isle and two seats away from me. As we waited on the plane, we saw a flash of light and hoped it was a camera. No such luck. Thunder soon followed, and my prediction rang true. We were delayed. Because of the weather. We finally were able to take off. The outer hinges of both elbows pressed up against the inside of the armrests. The storage cabinets above us were just under an arm’s length away. The sweet, mellow voice of the subtlety beautiful stewardess asked everyone, row by row, if they would like any drinks or snacks: cookies, peanuts, or pretzels. Her small cart almost didn’t fit through the narrow passageway between the four seats. Just on the other side of the unknown woman on my left was the window, which gave a small view of the bright blue and white sky. The clouds gave the illusion of an endless ocean with white crested waves. The sun was on the right side of the plane, so most of their shades were down, blocking the blinding yellow rays. The older gentleman who sat diagonal to myself had slicked back, dark grey hair, a maroon polo, black, thin glasses, brown shoes and watch, and pants that matched his years. I would often see him chuckle at the video he was watching on his iPad. I could see Amanda’s mascara laden eyelashes move as her eyes scanned the airline pamphlet from the seat pouch in front of her. As I leaned out to look in the isle for a bit, I saw Mr. Malek standing with Luci’s little hand firmly in his as he was practically bent in half talking to someone. I could see his unique smile even from how far back I was. I looked out the window again. The view had changed. It went from the side of the wing, to grey with clouds like white bowler hats to a thin strip of white, to a yet thinner strip of turquoise, to blue.

The hours passed, and we eventually descended enough to see a Texan city far beneath us. Mrs. Malek and I then both saw a way to channel Luci’s never ceasing chatter. “Oh, Luci! Look at all the lights down there; it’s Texas!” I said with my hand in between their seats, pointing out Luci’s window. “We in Texas now, Mama?” I couldn’t see Mrs. Malek’s expressions, but her next words explained what her face said. “That better be Texas. If it’s not, I’m going to hurt something.” We landed, and wondered around the pavement of the airport for a bit before the voice of our captain came over the speakers. “I’m so sorry about this, folks, but another airplane has taken our gate. Their flight got canceled, so now we just need a gate. Thank you for being so patient.” At that point, I wasn’t even surprised. I pulled my tablet back out and started playing Bike Race. Luci looked back. “Whatchya playin, Abbie?” I briefly explained that it was bike game and asked if she wanted to give it a whirl. Without saying a word, she reached her left arm over her body and in between the seats and grabbed my outstretched tablet. “Oh your such a sucker, Abbie. How do you play it?” Mrs. Malek asked as she leaned towards Luci. I stood up and explained the two simple controls: the right side of the screen made the biker go, and the left side of the screen made him stop. She played for a bit, and gave it back. We finally got to a gate. Now we just needed the equipment to get off the plane and into the airport. We were finally in Houston, Texas. Now we needed new rental cars to drive three hours to San Antonio. We finally got to the hotel at like 1 AM Texas time. 2 AM Michigan time. By the time we had to wake up, we got around three to four hours of sleep.

It was well before 7 in the morning when we found our seats on the cement bleachers in the base. The sun was behind our section of bleachers, making the cement quite cold. This made for a very memorable beginning to my first time in Texas. The week went on, and the 9 of us laughed, cried, and made memories that I plan to never lose.

One such memory is not a happy one. The bowling part was fun, but the beginning was not. Jared, Mr. & Mrs. Malek, and I walked out of the bowling ally, turned left, and walked toward the track and stopped at the corner of the building. I could feel what was going to happen all week, and I didn’t want it to become reality, but I guess I knew it was going to happen. I guess it’s going to have to hurt. Darling, I’m forever only yours. I sat on the small retaining wall, Mrs. Malek stood to my right, Mr. Malek sat on the retaining wall on my right, and Jared stood in front of me. You’re the one I love and I’m saying goodbye. Mr. Malek started talking about different paths, and meeting for reasons unknown. With a fake smile and tears just forming, I knew they all knew I was about to break down. Both parents made some comments and left us to do whatever we felt was necessary.

Dang, who knew? All the planes we flew, good things we’ve been through. That I’ll be standing right here talking to you ’bout another path. I know we loved to hit the road and laugh, but something told me that it wouldn’t last. Had to switch up, look at things different, see the bigger picture. Those were the days; hard work forever pays. Now I see you in a better place.

With his black backpack slung over his left shoulder and head held high, Jared Tyler walked away from us, and out of my life.

Texas in April On Tuesday, April 4th, 2017, I finished up a test in my biweekly night class and went straight from KVCC into a two hour drive that would be my last foreseen trip up to the Malek household.

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skittlemxauthor · 7 years ago

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1-92

this is bullying but I love attention so I'll do it 1. Would you have sex with the last person you text messaged?you have no idea how badly I want to2. You talked to an ex today, correct?actually no, most of my exes removed me from their lives lol3. Have you taken someones virginity?yep!4. Is trust a big issue for you?unfortunately5. Did you hang out with the person you like recently?no :(6. What are you excited for?3 weeks and then I'm home ❤❤7. What happened tonight?I worked, played video games, fell asleep. the usual 8. Do you think it’s disgusting when girls get really wasted?I honestly couldn't give less of a shit9. Is confidence cute?it's attractive, sorta different than cute10. What is the last beverage you had?booster juice i think?11. How many people of the opposite sex do you fully trust?well I don't exactly have an opposite sex LOL but I guess I probably only truly trust 3 or 4 people 12. Do you own a pair of skinny jeans?yepp13. What are you gonna do Saturday night?tonight was Saturday, if you mean next Saturday I should have my period by that point so I'll probably be curled up a ball more emotional than ever14. What are you going to spend money on next?good question, probably food knowing me ahaha15. Are you going out with the last person you kissed?indeed I am16. Do you think you’ll change in the next 3 months?I think so17. Who do you feel most comfortable talking to about anything?Alex18. The last time you felt broken?uhhh let's not get into that19. Have you had sex today?no I'm angry20. Are you starting to realize anything?I don't even know anymore21. Are you in a good mood?good mood??? thats a thing???22. Would you ever want to swim with sharks?I think it'd be cool23. Are your eyes the same color as your dad’s?yeah actually 24. What do you want right this second?well I mean go back in time, but in reality I just want to go home and curl up with Alex25. What would you say if the person you love/like kissed another girl/boy?I honestly don't think I could find words tbh26. Is your current hair color your natural hair color?definitely not ahah27. Would you be able to date someone who doesn’t make you laugh?probably not tbh28. What was the last thing that made you laugh?probably my brother29. Do you really, truly miss someone right now?more than anything30. Does everyone deserve a second chance?only one second chance31. Honestly, do you hate the last boy you were talking to?uh no, definitely not ahah32. Does the person you have feelings for right now, know you do?I sure hope so33. Are you one of those people who never drinks soda?nah I always do34. Listening to?currently nothing, it's dead silence35. Do you ever write in pencil anymore?nah honestly, too faint36. Do you know where the last person you kissed is?at home in bed I believe? idk I think he fell asleep on me ahah37. Do you believe in love at first sight?sorta? I didn't until I met Alex tbh38. Who did you last call?my brother I think 39. Who was the last person you danced with?Raine ahah40. Why did you kiss the last person you kissed?because I was leaving for 4 months and I knew I'd miss him 41. When was the last time you ate a cupcake?far too long ago 42. Did you hug/kiss one of your parents today?I don't think so43. Ever embarrass yourself in front of a crush?oh I'm sure I embarrassed myself in front of every single one of my crushes (is it because I'm Asian)44. Do you tan in the nude?nope45. If you could, would you take back your last kiss?nope46. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night?uh no actually I wasn't texting or talking to anyone when I fell asleep 47. Who was the last person to call you?to call me? my mom48. Do you sing in the shower?yes ahah49. Do you dance in the car?definitely50. Ever used a bow and arrow?when I was really young 51. Last time you got a portrait taken by a photographer?I was literally like 252. Do you think musicals are cheesy?nah I love them 53. Is Christmas stressful?more than ever 54. Ever eat a pierogi?well see I was confident in my yes answer but the "a" is throwing me off55. Favorite type of fruit pie?I don't really like pie tbh, if anything I'd say apple56. Occupations you wanted to be when you were a kid?well I wanted to be a vet bc my best friend did57. Do you believe in ghosts?yes I do58. Ever have a Deja-vu feeling?constantly ahah59. Take a vitamin daily?nope60. Wear slippers?nope61. Wear a bath robe?nope62. What do you wear to bed?usually Alex's t shirts and just my boxers63. First concert?never been tbh 😳64. Wal-Mart, Target or Kmart?target 65. Nike or Adidas?Nike66. Cheetos Or Fritos?fritos67. Peanuts or Sunflower seeds?sunflower seeds68. Favorite Taylor Swift song?ew69. Ever take dance lessons?when I was really young70. Is there a profession you picture your future spouse doing?uh, I'm not sure I understand the question, like I don't care what my partner does as long as they're happy and safe71. Can you curl your tongue?yes72. Ever won a spelling bee?LOL definitely not73. Have you ever cried because you were so happy?probably74. What is your favorite book?11/22/63 by Stephen King75. Do you study better with or without music?much better76. Regularly burn incense?nope77. Ever been in love?oh yes78. Who would you like to see in concert?well, I would've wanted to see Linkin Park but :(79. What was the last concert you saw?n/a80. Hot tea or cold tea?hot81. Tea or coffee?coffee82. Favorite type of cookie?the dough kind83. Can you swim well?if I'm not wearing a strapless bikini then ya84. Can you hold your breath without holding your nose?like probably but I can't be bothered to find out 😂😂85. Are you patient?no, definitely not ahah86. DJ or band, at a wedding?I think band tbh87. Ever won a contest?I won a poetry contest in high school two years in a row?88. Ever have plastic surgery?nope89. Which are better black or green olives?neither how dare you 90. Opinions on sex before marriage?wonderful, wish I could be having sex rn91. Best room for a fireplace?living room and bedroom, so cozy 92. Do you want to get married?one day, definitely. thank you ❤❤

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