#two asshole brothers to conclude

[forsakenmb]

Best Friend's Brother

Pairings - Rafe Cameron x Reader 

Word Count - 4.3k

Warnings - Dark! Rafe Cameron, Possessive!Rafe?, non-con/dub-con, violence, degradation, alcohol use, manhandling, unprotected sex, dacryphilia

“You should come over tonight” Sarah said through the call, “My dad, Rose, and Wheezie are out for the weekend, we could break into his liquor cabinet” she chimed.

“What about your brother?” you asked. Finals had just concluded, and you didn't need his shit today or any day for that matter..

Rafe Cameron, the Kook King, the biggest douchebag you've ever known. He hates Sarah, so he hates you too. He's called you many names ranging from: an attention-seeking whore, pogue trash, and the ‘Virgin-Mary’.

You've known Rafe and Sarah since you were thirteen, and he wasn't exactly nice to you back then but certainly not now. Since you turned fifteen your friendship with Sarah infuriated him, according to him you were just ‘trash’ that didn't deserve to be in the presence of Kooks.

“Forget about him” she groaned, she knows how much of an ass he is. “We can hang out in my room, watch movies, and get drunk”

Refusal on the tip of your tongue, she pleaded with you again, “Please!” she begged.

“Alright, alright” your relented, hesitation still stuck inside of you. A wary feeling deep in you peeking its ugly head out.

“Okay! See you later” she squealed happily, the call ending soon after.

By the time you were getting into your vehicle the sun was setting, casting hues of orange over the Island. 

The drive was quiet and peaceful, the colorful sky now replaced with pitch-blackness as you pulled into the driveway of Tannyhill. 

As you approached the front door you were going to walk in like you've always done. Whilst reaching for the handle, the door suddenly jerked open. You expected to see Sarah if anything, not Rafe.

He was standing in the doorway, moving through the threshold wasn't an option. His taller frame blocked you from entering the residence.

“Ah, if it isn't the pogue herself” he sneered, a wide smirk plastered on his face.

“Can you move out of my fucking way.” you snapped, your brows furrowed together in frustration.

“Don't get your panties in a twist” The oldest Cameron jeered, rolling his eyes. You wondered if he rolled them any farther, he could see his eye sockets. He moved aside just enough so you could squeeze through.

You glared daggers at him, but all he did was tap his foot impatiently on the floor.

Giving up, you wedged yourself past him; your front pressed wholly against his and you could've sworn he pressed his hips further into you.

Walking farther into the house towards the staircase, you felt his eyes boring into you. But when you glanced over to him it wasn't a glare, but something dark and depraved. Something you weren't too keen on discovering.

You practically sprinted up the stairs to Sarah's room, your heart racing in your chest. Why were you so scared? It was just a look, but it elicited such fear from you.

“What took you so long?” she asked, lounging lazily across her bed as you entered her room.

“Your brother” was all you said before plopping down next to her. The room was silent for a moment before Sarah sighed and sat up.

“He's an asshole” she said blandly, setting her phone down on the bed. “I'm going to grab the alcohol” she stated, getting up from her spot and walking towards the door. “You pick the movie” she told you before walking out of the room.

When Sarah returned she held two bottles; one held a bronze liquid, which looked like whiskey. The other held a clear drink, which was either Vodka or Tequila.

“What movie are we watching?” She questioned, moving towards the bed to lay next to you.

“Scream?” you ask, looking through your options. It didn't seem likely you'd find anything better at this point.

“That's fine” Sarah said, handing you the bottle of clear liquid. She settled down as you started the movie.

Taking a look at the bottle in your hand you saw that it was in fact Vodka. You screwed the cap open and took a swig from it. The burning taste of the liquor was strong, it left you viscerally cringing, a small cough rising through your throat.

Sarah giggled at you, then she too opened the top on the bottle she was holding and took a drink from it. 

The night progressed smoothly, drunken giggles filled the room, the movie long forgotten and replaced by talking and chatter.

“I'm tired” Sarah drunkenly groaned, plowing backwards onto her pillows. 

“Me too” you said, words slurring together. “But I'm so thirsty”

“Then go get a drink” she said, eyes already starting to drift shut, a small yawn slipping past her lips.

“Okayyy, I'll be back” you groaned, stumbling lightly as you stood. You made your way out of Sarah's room and down the hall to the staircase. Gripping the railing you were about to start the descent when a pair of arms wrapped around you, pulling you backwards.

You didn't need to turn around to know it was Rafe Cameron. “This isn't funny Rafe” you hissed through gritted teeth, squirming in his grasp to get him to relinquish his hold.

It was quiet for a moment, his arms around your torso still firm even as you continued trying to worm away from the taller man. His breath fanned across the shell of your ear, then a deep chuckle vibrated through your skull, “I'm not trying to be funny ”.

“Let me go!” You growled, your voice rising in volume, as you began to thrash around. Before you could say anything else, Rafe moved to pull a hand over your mouth, his other arm still wrapped bruisingly tight around you, pressing you deeper into his body. Like a boa constrictor engulfing its prey.

Fear gripped you, your heart pounding in your chest. Struggling harder than before, you began to try and kick, hit, and bite, all futile and in vain.

The hand over your mouth slithered its way down to the column of your throat, gripping it tightly and cutting off any airflow in its wake. The shock alone made you go as stiff as stone, you could hear your heart in your ears and tears started to crowd your waterline.

“R..afe” you choked up. You couldn't breathe at all, it was getting harder to think as the seconds passed by. Your hands weakly reached up to scratch at the limb that was crushing your windpipe, but with the lack-of airflow the only thing you could manage to do was dig your nails into his wrist.

Black dots started to adorn your vision, your mind consumed in a fogginess you couldn't escape, just like you couldn't escape Rafe. As you were about to lose consciousness the iron grip on your throat loosened, you let in a sharp breath, your lungs not getting enough of the oxygen you were consuming.

The hand still holding your throat snaked away and roughly grabbed the back of your neck, the one around your torso gone. “Now fucking walk.” he hissed into your ear through gritted teeth.

A numbing fear spreading throughout your body, your legs wouldn't move an inch. Behind you a scoff could be heard before you were shoved forward roughly, your feet barely catching you before you hit the ground. Your legs shaking violently as you began to slowly move forward to where he was pushing you.

Rafe Cameron's a lot of things, a drug abuser, a belligerent person, but never in your life did you think he'd do something like this. 

You were snapped out of your thoughts when your walking was halted, the hand on your nape gripping tighter. You were in front of his bedroom door, you'd never been in there before, he might have killed you if you went in there, but he might also kill you now.

His free hand opened the door, the other shoving you through it. This time you couldn't catch yourself before you collided with the floor. Although you felt sober, the alcohol still in your system made getting up hard. Tears began to flow down your face, your whimpers and sobs the only sound in the otherwise quiet room. 

“Get up” he said, anger and hate dripping from his deep baritone voice.

“I -I” was all you could get out before more sobs racked through your body, hyperventilating from the situation you were in. He was standing in front of the door, looking down at you like you were the bane of his existence.

“Don't make me ask again” he said, his voice rising just enough to make you flinch. But still you sat on the floor, crying harder than before.

Heavy footsteps began to approach you, before you could look up to see him towering over you a hand knotted itself into your hair, yanking you upwards onto your feet, a loud cry escaping your lips. “You just love being fucking difficult, don't ya?” He jeered, yanking your head back by the roots of your hair.

Gripping at the short sleeve shirt he wore, you cried out, “N-No, I'm sorry Rafe, I'm sorry” you were an inconsolable mess, you didn't even know what you were apologizing for. 

“No you're not” he said pulling your face closer to his, “Not yet”

Closing your eyes as more tears bled down your face; fear bubbled inside of you, nausea swirling in the pit of your stomach.

His other hand grabbed at your chin, “Look at me” he sneered. Even though it was asked like you had an option, you knew you didn't.

You peeled your tear soaked eyes open, and looked up at him. His face was deadly, he looked murderous. Ready to kill you if breathed the wrong way.

“She learns” he sneered, a wide mirthful smile spread across his face. “Now, since you like to walk around this island in these skimpy shorts..” he said, the hand in your hair moving quickly to grope your rear through your biker shorts.

“Rafe… stop” you sobbed, the feeling of his large hand gripping your behind causing you to shiver in his hold, the nausea in your stomach worsening.

“You don't get to tell me what to do” he said, the faux smile now replaced with a look of anger again. He started using the hand on your chin to back you into a wall, pressing your back flat against it. “Here's how things are going to go, you're going to shut up, and stand there, got it?” he said, tilting your head back as far as it would go.

More tears came rushing to your eyes, your bottom lip trembled as you watched Rafe stare down at you like a predator hunting his prey. The hand previously on your ass was now slithering its way up your sides, and under the edge of your crop-top.

His hand on your bare skin felt like fire engulfing every area he touched, then he slid his hand over the whole of your breast, giving it a rough squeeze: then circling his thumb over the bud of your nipple. A deep groan rising in his throat.

Something about his reaction to your fear and body reignited a flame inside of you, “Rafe, I said stop!” You said, shoving him away to the best of your ability.

That same flame snuffed out seconds later when he grabbed your throat harshly and slammed you into the wall, your head knocking against it so hard pain started to bloom in your skull immediately.

“Are you stupid?” He said, pressing you harder into the wall by your neck. “Fine, be difficult.”

His second hand came up to your face, grabbing your cheeks and prying your mouth open before shoving his index and middle fingers down your esophagus, effectively gagging you. “If you bite me, I'll knock your teeth down your fucking throat” he warned, and from his tone of voice this wasn't  an empty threat.

The digits lodged in your throat caused you to gag and choke around him. He resumed his ministrations on your breasts, grabbing and groping until he was satisfied.

The hand under your shirt slipped out, and began traveling down your stomach to the hem of your shorts. You tried telling him to stop again, but only incoherent gargles were made out.

“What did you say?” He taunted, the tips of fingers sliding just below the fabric of your shorts. More tears bubbled up to your waterline.

Fighting him is useless, all you could do was stand there and take it. Before his hand traveled any further, it retreated, as did the fingers in your mouth.

His hand grabbed your chin again, but this time almost gently. Then his lips smashed onto yours in a hungry, aggressive kiss, his tongue forcing its way into your mouth. His hand grabbed the nape of your  neck and pulled you closer to himself.

Pulling away, he whispered in your ear, “I'm going to ruin you so well, that no guy within a twenty-mile radius will want you” he sounded crazy, he knew  he sounded crazy.

“Rafe..don't, please” you pleaded again, sinking further into the wall as if it were going to consume you.

“Sh sh” he cooed at you, “You have no reason to be crying, not yet”

Brushing a couple strands of loose hair away from your face, he took a good at you; your disheveled hair from when he yanked you off of the ground, your tear stained face and fearful eyes, how your bottom lip is still trembling, the way your chest was rising and falling rapidly. “On your knees” he told you. 

Another soft sob left your lips, your eyes falling shut. Sinking down onto your knees in front of him, a laugh sounded from above you, a genuine, hearty laugh.

“I always knew you were a slut” he said, his voice laced with a noxious venom that was seeping into your bloodstream. “I told you to look at me” he snarled, a hand again gripping the roots of your hair.

Looking up at him through watery lashes, he groaned again. One hand still planted firmly in your hair, the other coming up to the waistband of his pajama pants and tugging them down just below the bulge in his boxers. "You should consider yourself lucky" he chuckled, also pulling down his draws enough to take out his cock.

There it stood, fully erect; he was huge, the tip an angry red, veins trailing up and down the length of it.

He gripped the base of his cock with his free hand, pumping it lightly, dragging you closer by your hair until you were face to face with it, “I don't wanna-” before could finish your plea he thrusted his cock into your mouth and sank in as far as he could. Your gagged chokes were the only thing heard as he thrusted into your mouth once more to the hilt of his cock.

“Fuck..” he growled, pulling out and thrusting back into your mouth. He was too big, your throat is already getting sore from his treatment. Before long he set a harsh pace, fucking into your mouth over and over again. You couldn't breath with the way his cock was being lodged into your throat repeatedly, another round of heavy tears crowded your eyesight forcing their way down your cheeks, though you still kept your eyes glued to his. Tears and drool meet at your chin, dripping down your neck making a horrid mess.

It felt like hours were going by as he continued to use your mouth for his pleasure. His grunts and groans became more frequent the longer it went on, drips of pre-cum coating your tongue with every rough thrust. “Fuuck” Rafe moaned, his head dipping back as his movement stilled and he held you in place on his cock. His length throbbed inside of your throat, and after a couple of moments cum was filling your mouth, and airways; with his hand still planted in your hair, all you could do was choke it down. 

He pulled out seconds after, you inhaled in a gasp, coughing and choking on the build up of saliva. More tears rushing to the surface. The hand in your hair now gone, but he still stood over you glaring down.

“C-Can I go now..” you asked in a quiet sob, your voice weak and sore. You looked at the floor, the feeling of his eyes on you too much to bear now.

“God, you really are fucking stupid” he laughed, stripping himself of his pants and boxers. “No, you can't leave,” he barked. “Now stand up” 

A whimper escaped past your lips as you slowly stood up, leaning against the wall for support, still staring down at the floor.

His hands came up to your top, pulling it up and off of you. Next they came down to the band of your shorts, this time you weakly grabbed at his wrists, a pathetic attempt on your end. Still he ripped them halfway down your thighs in one go, then yanked them down in another motion, left pooling around your ankles. 

The only thing you wore now was your panties, all he stood wearing was his short sleeve shirt.

“Go lay your ass down,” he said, pointing at the bed behind him. You didn't say anything as you took slow steps towards the large bed, which seemed to seal your fate. 

Going to lay face down on the mattress a tight grip was placed on your shoulder. “On your back” he demanded, his temper seeming ready to snap again. 

Turning around and sitting on the bed in front of Rafe, your gaze remained on the floor. Before you could lay back he shoved you onto the bed, a gasp getting caught in your throat.

He began trailing his fingertips up your thighs slowly, the feeling sending shivers down your spine, chilling you to the bone. They dragged up the sides of your thighs, your hips, to the hem of your underwear; then gripping it and pulling them down your legs slowly.

Your body finally bare to him, he looked you over completely.  “Spread your legs” he commanded, hands traveling back down to your thighs, tapping on them impatiently. Still you kept them squeezed shut, refusing to give him what he wanted.

“You must love it when I'm rough with you” he growled, gripping your thighs and prying them apart against your will. Squeezing between them, his hips made it so you couldn't possibly close them now.

His cock laid against your stomach, making it look bigger than before. Pulling back a little, one of the hands on your thigh slid farther up until he was practically cupping your cunt. 

A scoff escaped his lips when he slid a finger through your folds. “Y'know, you keep begging me to stop..” he said, bringing his fingers to your mouth and shoving them back down your throat so you could taste yourself coating his fingers. “You're awfully fucking wet”

Humiliation and embarrassment swelled inside of you, a deep red spreading across your face with his finger still inside of your mouth.

After a couple seconds of holding his fingers down your throat he dislodged them, then moved the hand from your face down to your core, spreading your saliva across your folds before suddenly plunging a finger inside of you. 

A loud cry left your lips, following that, a sharp sting spread across your face as your head snapped to the side with the force of the impact. He slapped  you.

“How many fucking times do I have go tell you to shut up” he barked, punctuating his sentence by pulling his finger out of you and roughly pushing it back in. A cry getting caught in your throat, you managed to keep quiet by biting down on your persistently trembling bottom lip.

Again, he slid his finger in and out of you: when it became easy to sink his digit into you he added another. You could feel yourself dripping onto his fingers and down onto the bed sheets. A muffled whimper escaped your mouth and that only seemed to rile Rafe up more, as he began thrusting his digits into you harder, rocking your body with every motion of his hand. His thumb ghosting lightly over your clit, before rolling the bud under his finger.

A moan clawed its way up your throat and out into the open, though he said nothing, Rafe leaned down and caught your lips in a bruising kiss, shoving his tongue back into your mouth.

He sped up his ministrations on your cunt, finger curling and hitting spots that had you shamefully wet. You didn't want this, but your body was betraying you, reacting to everything he's doing to you.

You felt your cunny squeeze around his finger, suck them in greedily. Rafe pulled away from the kiss, breathing heavily. “You're gonna cum already?” He asked almost mockingly, a laugh on the tip of his tongue.

Shaking your head quickly, you knew it was a lie. The tightening feeling in your stomach, the way you could feel yourself throbbing around his fingers. You were sure he could feel it too.

“Liar” was all he said before drawing tight small circles on your clit, fingers moving faster, if possible. It didn't take long before the tightening feeling in your core snapped; a long whimper escaping your bruised lips.

Your hands gripped the duvet covering the bed, thighs attempting to close without success. Heavy breaths leaving your mouth.

Your core tightened around the fingers inside of you, still pushing you through your high.

Slowing his movements down but never completely stopping, he looked at you intensely: watching every face you made in your post-orgasm state.

He practically ripped his fingers out of you, and removed the shirt he wore. Leaning over you, one hand next to your head to steady himself, the other grabbing the base of his cock and moving to slide the tip through your folds, spreading your slick against the crown of it.

“You should be thanking me,” he said, pressing his cock-head harder against your core, just enough pressure make you squirm.

With the remaining energy you had, you looked into his eyes and sneered, ”Fuck you “ through gritted teeth.

Thrusting into you in one quick motion, he laughed, “No, I'm fucking you. “ A sharp cry was forced out of you, more tears rushing down your face. It didn't matter how wet you were, it felt like he was splitting you in two.

Giving you no time to adjust before he gripped one of your hips and harshly started rutting into you with reckless abandon. Your cunt was throbbing with pain you'd never felt before.

“Rafe! Stop, it hurts!” You cried out, your hands letting go of the duvet to push at his chest.

Again he laughed, “Good, maybe you'll learn to keep that mouth of yours shut” he seemed genuinely amused by the pain you were in, the pain he was putting you through.

The burning sensation between your legs was unbelievable, but what was even more unimaginable was when the sharp ache between your legs was replaced with pleasure that was spreading through you like wildfire, igniting every nerve in your body. 

A moan ripped through the air, instead of pushing at this chest you resorted to digging your nails into his biceps, the only thing you could manage in your state.

“What a whore” he groaned, leaning down and taking one of your nipples in his mouth; releasing it, then nipping roughly at the bud. Another soft moan left your lips. “You fucking love this, I feel the way your pussy is pulling me in” he said, leaned closer into you, watching as tears slid down your rosy face.

“Fuck” he grunted, leaning down and catching your lips in his again. The kiss was scorching hot, melting almost. Your lungs left empty from the way he was fucking into you, now you thought you were going to asphyxiate.

He started to trail the kiss to the corner of your lips, to your cheek, down your neck to then start sucking and nipping at the sensitive skin, leaving hickeys in his wake. More low moans and whimpers spilling from your mouth the longer he's inside of you.

“Rafe… please” you whined, hips bucking upwards involuntarily, your eyes screwed shut from the unwanted pleasure coursing through your veins.

“That's it, fuckin’ beg for it” he growled, hips slamming into you at a brutal pace. Lifting himself to lean back on his haunches he gripped your hips and dragged you down onto his cock to meet his thrusts.

Sweat gathering at your hairline, too fucked out to do anything other than lay there and take it. One hand left your hip to start drawing random shapes on your clit. 

“Rafe…don't” you gasped, your orgasm building up quicker than the last. Your throat hurt still from his earlier treatment of it, and your strained moans only came to irritate it more.

“I'll do as I fucking please” he snarled, giving you a particularly rough thrust to get his point across. Beads of sweat snaked down his forehead as he continued to fuck you hard enough to make the bed sway back and forth.

An incoherent moan left your lips as the first waves of your orgasm washed over you, drowning in a sea of pleasure you never asked for.

His thrusts were becoming sloppy and his pace long forgotten, his only goal was reaching his peak.

Before long his hips stilled, his cock sunk as deep it would go, kissing your most sensitive spot when warmth spread through your cunt as he filled you with his seed, dripping out from around him and onto the bed below.

Your eyes widened as you looked at Rafe like he had two heads, “D-Did you-” disbelief filled you as he smirked down at you with that same mirthful smile.

“What do you think, baby?” his use of the pet name making you sick, his cock still deep inside of you.

Moving in every way to try and squirm back from him, all he did was press you into the mattress by your hips and muttered a simple, “I'm not done yet”

The End

[gracieheartspedro]

Somewhere With You

Part 4 of How Long

pairing: f!reader x brother-in-law!joel miller

FIND Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 HERE!!

description: sleeping with your exes brother is one thing, but envisioning a whole life with him? that's a dangerous game. but you did it. now you're here, and tommy is fucking pissed.

word count: 5.3k

warnings: MINORS DNI! this is 18+, pre!outbreak joel, there is smut in this part!! fear of being caught by sarah?, unprotected p in v, oral sex (f receiving), joel is a CONSENT KING, dirty talk, overstimulation, titty fucking (yw caly), light violence, tommy is literally evil.

author's note: jesus christ i'm so glad I am finally here with this. I feel like finishing this is my greatest success in life lmao. I will probably continue this series but this is the last part for a while. I appreciate everyone's love on it and I can't wait to get more stuff out to y'all!

“Are we going to have a celebration when we get home?”

Joel laughs, “Yeah, we can. What did you wanna do?”

You just listen to Sarah list off all the possible ways to celebrate winning the tournament. The movies, going to the mall for new jeans, going to the local ice cream parlor every night of the week. Joel shakes his head at that one as he turns the truck onto the highway. You have your knees up to your chest, the zip up Joel let you borrow hanging off your shoulders. You had complained about how cold you were all weekend, so Joel shut you up by tossing you his zip up. You haven’t taken it off since. 

The sun was setting over the horizon, drawing the Sunday to a close. You had to work in the morning and you were dreading concluding the weekend you spent with Joel and Sarah. 

Everything with them seems natural. It felt like family. 

You did not want to face tomorrow, especially when there was no set plans as to when you would be hanging out with them again. 

Luckily, Sarah has not mentioned much of anything about what she saw early Saturday morning, so there was no awkward tension. The only time it came up was when you all were tired from Saturday’s events and you arrived back to the hotel room.

“You two sleeping together tonight, too?” She asked, her eyes heavy with exhaustion. She wasn’t even trying to be rude or demeaning, she just wanted to know if she could fall asleep in one of the beds without being stirred. 

“Yeah, you can have that bed hun.” Joel answered. 

Sitting on those horribly uncomfortable bleachers and cheering Sarah on had taken a lot out of you, so you were ready to throw yourself into the plush mattress, too. 

You watched Sarah throw herself onto of the comforter, sinking into the pillows face first. It makes you giggle while you grab your pajamas to change. 

Joel nudges you while you dig through your duffle, “No funny business tonight, ma’am.” 

You shake your head, his comment making your stomach turn upside down with nerves. You smack his chest with the back of your hand, “No duh, asshole.”

Sarah puts her headphones on, drowning out Joel’s humming to an old country song. You just stare ahead, watching him speed pass car after car. His truck revs every time he does it which makes you clench your knees a bit tighter. 

“In a rush, dear?”

The nickname makes his heart race.

He taps his fingers, trying to act like that nickname doesn’t drive him insane. “Want to make sure to get you home so you can be rested up for work in the morning.”

“That’s mighty sweet of you, but take your time. I’m in no rush.”

He eases off the gas a bit, taking your advice. 

“You talk to your Mama lately? She still likin’ Maine?” 

It wasn’t a question you were expecting coming from Joel. You had told him about your mom around the time that she moved away, however long ago that was. You truly didn’t expect him to even remember.

“We talk every week, she likes it there. Wants me to come experience a winter there, so I may go up for Christmas,” You explain, remembering back to conversation you two just had last week. She wanted you to feel what fluffy snow felt like and maybe go skiing with her. 

It makes Joel’s heart sink a bit. Not because you would be visiting your mother, but instead you would not be here to spend Christmas with him and Sarah. He had already planned on making a spot for you at the dining table. 

“That’d be nice,” He licks his lips, contemplating if he should say what he really wants to say, “‘M bettin’ she misses seein’ your beautiful face everyday.”

You smile, your cheeks burning hot at Joel calling you beautiful. You knew you had to throw him off and give him a sarcastic response to keep him on his toes.

“Gonna freeze my ass off there. May have to borrow some of your flannels.”

He chuckles, tilting his head towards you, “You already havta’ have about four of my t-shirts, now that hoodie. You wanna raid me some more?”

“If I’m remembering correctly, you said I just had to “get with you” to get clothes,” You’re whispering, leaning into him. You don’t want Sarah to hear the words you’re speaking to her father, “How many times do we need to go at it before I get one of those denim jackets you own?”

He peers over at you. You smirk, quirking one eyebrow up.

“You with me to get my clothes or somethin’?”

“That and other things,” You tease, pulling away, leaning your back against the seat again. 

Joel peers into the rear view mirror. Sarah is asleep, her headphones blasting her favorite pop album. He tilts his head towards you, his eyes not leaving the road, “You’ll havta remind me of those other things when we get home.”

He could get used to always having you in his passenger seat. 

-

Sarah was dead asleep in the backseat, so you both decided to get all the stuff from the back inside before nudging her awake. You quietly shut the door, grabbing Joel’s one bag from the driveway and slinging it over your shoulder. 

You follow close behind him as he unlocks the front door and places Sarah’s stuff on the staircase. 

The idea of having to leave made you want to scream. You didn’t feel like driving home and laying lonely in your own bed. You didn’t want to resume your boring life at work. You just wanted him. 

This weekend made you realize that you really couldn’t live without him. You’re not only comfortable around him, but he’s exciting. He cracks jokes and compliments you when you don’t expect it. Those couple of months without him were still months he was plaguing your mind, even though he wasn’t physically around you. 

You snap out of your thoughts quickly. You start watching Joel’s muscles restrict over his gray t-shirt and it’s enough to send you to your knees. You didn’t even realize how crazy he was driving you. His messy curls that were trapped under a hat most of the weekend are finally loose and curling up his neck. And the way his jeans hugged his ass while he walked away from you? You didn’t know how long to could refrain from telling him you needed him, right this second. 

“I may call out tomorrow. Too tired to sit on my computer all day and run reports,” You say while he wonders back to you from his bedroom down the hall. You’re hoping it leads to an offer.  

He nods, tossing his keys on the entry table next to you,“Yeah, I am off tomorrow. Have to get this house in order and make sure Sarah actually wakes up for school in the morning.”

No offer. Maybe you could propose it?

“Maybe I could just spend the night.”

The air is thick instantly with tension. You can hear the hitch in his throat. Once you say it, you realize how desperate you must sound. But you want to be able to lay next to him again. You want and need him. 

“If that’s what you wanna do, sweetheart. I don’t mind none. Love havin’ you here.”

He grabs your waist lazily, pulling you into his chest. The connection sends chills down your arms. 

“Are you sure? I don’t want to you to think I’m being needy.”

He doesn’t even hesitate, he just bows his head to capture your lips with his, giving you a slow sensual kiss. You move your hands up to his neck, pulling him down further into you, eager to be close to him. 

When he realizes that’s where it’s going, he pulls up for air. 

“Lemme go get the last couple bags and get Sarah inside.”

As he says that, the door flings open behind you. A sleepy Sarah blinks at both of you, shaking her head instantly when she sees her Dad’s arms wrapped around you. You push back, flinging yourself backwards and away from Joel. 

“Can you lovebirds do that somewhere else,” She groans, while rubbing her eyes, “Don’t need another sibling created right in front of m-”

“Sarah Jane!”

-

You smile when Joel drops onto his mattress with a huff. 

“So…” You drift off, crawling onto Joel’s lap, “You come here often?”

He chuckles, his hands beginning to trail your waist.

“Come here quite often, actually,” He jokes, his hands resting right under your shirt and on your hips. “How about you?”

You hum, “Not really. Maybe a couple times. Would love to come around, more though.”

“That so?”

You lean down, using your fingers to pull back his brown locks and pivot his head upward. You kiss him gingerly, smiling at his small groan.

You pull away, “I’d love to come to your bed every night, Joel Miller.”

The guttural moan he makes sends a rush to your core. He grabs the nape of your neck and brings you back down to his lips. He takes control of your movements, switching positions by gently laying you back. He leans over your body, his lips carrying the weight of his emotion. You’re scrambling though, tugging at his shirt, trying to rid it off his body. He pulls away to throw it off his body, motioning you to do the same. Soon, you two are completely naked.

“I never get sick of this view,” He rasps, his eyes raking your body. 

You smirk, “Back atcha, babe.”

He positions himself on top of you, his lips lingering on your neck and collarbones. 

Joel’s kisses are always intentional. It’s like he knows every pressure point on your body. His lips are always wet and supple, dragging across your soft skin. 

When his mouth reaches the skin around your breast, you start to arch up for more contact. He grabs your stomach, pushing it softly down onto the bed. 

“Patience, baby,” He mumbles, kissing the same area on the other breast. You jerk up again, absentmindedly.

“Can’t help it,” You whine, trying not to sound so desperate. 

He clicks his tongue, “You can and you will.”

His lips wrap around your nipple and you just watch with hooded lids. His eyes are closed, so focus on teasing every inch of your body. You can feel the slick pool between your legs at the sight. 

“Joel, please.”

He releases the pink nub, “What, baby? Use those words.”

“I want you all over, Joel.”

“Yeah? Where? Here?” 

He grabs your breast roughly, making you mewl. 

You finally gesture down. Your hand slides between your legs, dragging up and down your own slit. You gather as much slick as you can, bringing it up to Joel’s surprised expression. 

“I see…” He brings your fingers up to his lips. You gape at his next actions, amazed that he’s so filthy. He takes your two fingers and licks them like a popsicle. You audible sigh as he sucks on your fingers like a man starved. 

“You goin’ to be extra good for me?” He asks when your digits escape his mouth. 

“Always am.”

Your voice is shaky when you say it. It makes Joel smirk. He loves when you sound ruined.

“Love hearing those words come out of your pretty little mouth.”

He crawls down your body, peppering kisses from your stomach down to your thighs. You watch him closely as he props your thighs over his shoulders. He does not waste time, diving straight into your divine center. You try to refrain from screaming his name, knowing Sarah may not be asleep yet. You clap your hand over your mouth while he licks your sensitive clit. He lays his tongue flat, pressing into you as he shakes his head back and forth. When he does that, you yelp into your palm. 

“Mmm, baby girl wants to be loud so bad,” He chuckles darkly, using his fingers to spread your lips, “You wanna be loud for me huh?”

“Yes, please, God,” You pant, “Need you in me, Joel.”

“Yeah? Lets stretch you out a bit,” He doesn’t even give any warning when he sinks his fingers inside your pussy. “Gotta make sure you’re nice and ready, baby girl. Want you to cum before I stick this cock in ya.”

You swallow, letting him take the lead like usual. You liked it this way, when he ravishes you with his abilities and you get to cum several times. You never had sex like this in your life, especially consistently. 

His fingers curl inside you, pumping in and out. You can hear how wet you are, the wetness sequelching against Joel’s fingers. Your pussy is graced with his tongue again while he fucks you with his digits. It’s like it’s pulled out of you. The orgasm sends white hot flashes to your vision. You know you’re saying something, but it’s no word in the English language. 

When you come back down from euphoria, Joel’s ontop of you again. He’s kissing your cheeks, mumbling something about how beautiful you are when you cum. 

“Joel, please,” Your hands grab onto his biceps, “Want you inside me.”

His cock drags along your navel, as he situates himself between your legs. 

“Yeah? Always so eager,” He grabs his cock with his free hand, “Wanna try something a little different?”

Your stomach drops, “Like what?”

He toys with your nipple with his pointer and thumb, “Always wanted to fuck these.”

You smirk at the thought, your stomach finally at ease.

“You want to fuck my titties, Joel?”

“If you’ll let me,” He squeezes your boob gently, “Think these things are perfect. Want my cock right between them.”

You nod, “Fuck ‘em then, baby.”

He pulls you up, practically shoving you on the ground beside his bed. He wasn’t being aggressive, just guiding you to follow his lead. You sit on your knees, watching up at him as he pumps his cock over you. You use both hands to push your tits together. He grins as he touches the head of his cock to your hard nipples. 

“So good for me,” He groans, slipping his cock between your cleavage, “Obeyin’ me and doin’ everythin’ I want. My fuckin’ dream girl.”

He starts to fuck your squeezed together tits as you stare up at him with a completely spent expression. You dribble some spit down between the break in your breast to lube up the area. Your pupils are blown and you feel the wetness of you slit soaking the skin of your legs. You can tell by the look on Joel’s face that he could cum at the sight of you. 

But he stops and instead, grabs your bicep and tosses you back on the bed. You watch him crawl up between your legs, his face untamed and filled with anticipation. 

“Need to cum in that pussy,” He pumps it a couple times before slipping in between your pussy lips, “Do you need me to put on a condom or anything? I don’t have to fuck you raw every time.”

You bite your lip, “I like feeling every part of you, Joel. I promise.”

“Mmm,” He hums, sinking his cock head inside you, “Love to hear that, baby.”

You circle your hips, practically fiening for him to sink all the way into you. He takes the hint, plunging into you with one snap. Once he’s finally sheathed in you, you groan out which only instigates him. He draws out and back in, his pace painstakingly slow. You grip onto his forearms, digging your nails into them. Maybe he will take the hint that you need it faster. 

But, no.

“Words, darlin’. Tell me what you need.”

You choke out the words, “Faster. Harder.”

He kisses your lips, shushing you as his tempo picks up. He wants to feel the vibrations of your moans. He knows if you’re too loud there may be listening ears, so kissing you will hush the sounds of pleasure. He sits up and repositions, grabbing the back of both of your legs, practically folding you in half. You smirk in delight, watching his furrowed expression focus on your body’s reactions. 

“This pussy is mine,” He huffs, watching himself plow into you, “All fuckin’ mine. Ya know that?”

“Yes,” You manage to peep out, “It’s yours, Joel.”

“Jesus fuckin’ Christ,” He spreads your legs, opening you up nice and wide. His thumb finds your responsive clit, circling it with the momentum of his hips, “Cum for me, baby. Soak this fuckin’ cock.”

Your body reacts in the way he finds so satisfying. Your hips lift up as the climax takes over, your whole body shaking at the ecstasy he brings you. He doesn’t let up, chasing his own bliss. You are so overstimulated, you are just gasping for air. He starts to falter, his pace slowing as he coats your insides with his cum. 

You start to chuckle when his body practically collapses onto you. His sweaty curls stick to your perspiring cheek. You find yourself kissing his temple, practically thanking him for fucking you so good every time.

He stands up, his half-hard dick slipping out of you pain-stakingly slow. You whimper at the feeling, still a mess from your orgasm. 

“God, you are perfect,” He mumbles, his hand slipping down your bare thigh, “Could fuck you every day for the rest of my life.”

You are still awestruck by the interaction, you don’t even know you’re saying it, “Why don’t you?”

He smiles while he helps you sit up, “I will. Now let’s get you all showered and ready for bed, huh?”

“Yes, please.”

-

Luckily for you, your body naturally wakes up at 5:30AM. You creep out of the bedroom, making sure not to stir Joel awake. You find the house phone and call your boss, letting her know you were “sick” and needed to use a sick day. She just mumbled a “whatever” and you hung up, heading back to the warmth of Joel’s bed. 

Joel wakes up as soon as you crawl back into bed, but he knew he had to get up and make sure Sarah got ready and off to school, anway. He cuddles you for a bit, watching you nod back off to sleep. He let you sleep in while he cleaned up the house a bit. He tries his best not to much too much noise, not wanting to rattle you awake. 

You did wake back up when you heard the vacuum. You pull yourself together, putting your hair up into a bun as you stumble out of the bedroom. Joel stands in the living room, not even aware you’re behind him. He jumps when he notices you in the threshold, turning off the vacuum. 

“Mornin’ sleepin’ beauty,” He laughs as he wraps up the vacuum cord. 

“Mornin’ handsome.”

You watch him roll the machine back into the hall closet before taking note to how nice and clean the house looked. 

“Looks good in here,” You mumble, noting how every surface looks dusted, “It’s missing one thing. You have a vase?”

He silently nods, looking at you confused.

“Go fill it with water, I’ll be back.”

You walk towards the front door, swinging it open as you begin tip toeing to Joel’s side garden. He had started it with Sarah years ago, and for the most part, it was completely overgrown. Some flowers still bloom in the Texas sun, so you pick the prettiest from the dirt. Once you have a bundle, you practically jog inside to show Joel your bouquet. 

“Hmm,” He smirks, “Didn’t think we needed flowers.”

“Well, you do.”

He shows you the vase on the coffee table, letting you take on the responsibility to make it pretty. He watches you carefully, your tired eyes trained on the task. 

You were his dream girl, truly.

Once you’re satisfied with your arrangement, you make a grand gesture. 

“Beautiful, baby,” He beams, wrapping his arms around your waist. He drops down onto the couch, pulling you into his lap. 

“Who me or the flowers?” You joke.

“Both.”

You give him a lazy kiss, smirking into it. 

This part of life with Joel is so domestic and perfect. You two could create this little world and live in it forever. He appreciated your silly antics, knowing how neglected this side of you must have been with Tommy. He didn’t care about the small gestures like Joel did. 

It was so reassuring being with Joel. He praised you like you had never been before. 

As you pull away from his lips, you hear a door slam outside. Before you could even react, the front door swings open into the house. You sit on Joel’s lap, turned away from the front door, completely dumbfounded.

“What is going on here?”

His voice scares you. You don’t even want to turn around in Joel’s lap to face him. Joel slowly helps you out of his lap, his eyes never leaving Tommy’s. 

When you finally turn to face Tommy, his eyes are wild and bright red. He looks like he hasn’t showered in days, his longer hair greasy and standing in all sorts of directions. It’s not his appearance that scares you, it’s the energy he’s brought into Joel’s living room. It’s the same scary tension you experienced when he lashed out on you before. 

Joel finally speaks up, clearing his throat. “What do you mean?”

But Tommy isn’t talking to Joel. He’s looking at you. 

“Are you fuckin’ my brother?”

He’s pointing at you, his finger waving at you like an adult who’s scolding a child. You open your mouth, but you can’t say anything. Your throat is dry, the shock and terror taking ahold of your vocal chords. 

“Tommy, we aren’t doing this.”

Joel puts himself in between Tommy and you, ensuring he doesn’t creep closer to you. You want to believe Tommy would never get physical with you, but the way he looks now, you’re not one hundred percent positive. 

“That’s not what I fuckin’ asking, Joel. Are you two sleepin’ together?” 

His voice is booming, bouncing off every corner of the room. It makes you shrink three sizes. 

Joel places his head up, warning him silently not to get any closer, “Tommy-”

“Answer the fuckin’ question!”

You want to curl into a ball. You knew this would fucking happen. You knew he’d go insane. 

You look at Joel finally. You realize your eyes were trained on Tommy in terror, unsure on how to console him. Joel licks his lips, rolling his eyes a bit. You just nod, trying to answer Tommy’s question without saying anything. You didn’t want him to realize how shaky your voice was. 

Once he gets confirmation, all hell breaks loose. He’s pushing on Joel with his chest, screaming expletives at him. You stand in the corner of the living room, your body practically wedged between a lamp and the couch. You want to become one of the dustbunnies on the floor boards, not wanting to be apart of this situation.

“You’re a fuckin’ asshole! You fucked my girl-“

Before he can even finish the statement, Joel becomes a brick wall. He’s staring down at Tommy now, all the while snot is running down at his little brother’s face. He looked pathetic. As he nudges Joel’s chest, he hardly moves a milimeter. Joel doesn’t even hesitate when he says the next words. 

“Not your girl.”

You truly cannot believe the words coming out of Joel’s mouth. You knew what he was insinuating and it brought chills up your back. Tommy’s movements completely halt and he stands there in a stunned silence. Joel’s jaw is slack, his eyes trained down at Tommy. It’s a stand-off. 

Tommy crooks his head to the side, like he’s stretching it. “You want to pull that shit now, Joel? I knew you wanted my sloppy seconds the moment you told me she was at your house that night.”

Being referred as “sloppy seconds” makes your blood boil. It’s so dehumanizing. 

“Stop talking about her like that,” Joel warns, his voice a whole octave lower. 

“No,” Tommy growls, his gaze finally falling on you again, “You’re a whore. Just like your stupid sister.”

You swallow hard. It’s finally your moment to shine. The burst of adrenaline chorusing through your veins finally propels you forward, pushing Joel out of your way. 

“You’re the town whore, Tommy Miller. You fucked your way around Austin and then came home to me every night,” You are shaking. Luckily, your voice isn’t wavering, “You lie. You cheat. You are a decietiful little shit. And I’m so glad you are because if you hadn’t slept with my sister and told me, I would have never realized how terrible you were to me all these years. I wasted so much time on babying you.”

The vein in his forehead is bulging and it makes you smile a bit. 

“If I could go back in time, I would’ve saved my fucking tears and ran the other direction.”

He has the audacity to giggle, “Instead you ran right into Joel’s arms.”

You don’t hesitate, “You never gave a damn about me, he actually did. I should’ve taken the hint the moment he brought me flowers for my graduation, and you showed up with a flask.”

“You graduated college! Big fuckin’ deal! Get over yourself!”

Now you’re laughing. 

“Bite me, Tommy,” You reach out and grab his t-shirt, pulling him into you. It makes Joel super nervous how close he is to you. He knows Tommy’s temper and how easily he will snap. He doesn’t know the next words about to come out of your mouth. 

“You cheated on me, you fucking loser. I told you then we were done that night, did I not? What I did after that point is not your business. I’m not yours anymore. And your brother, he treats me real good. Way better than you ever did. He can actually last, unlike you,” You smack your lips together, “He can fuck me better than you, that’s for sure.”

Joel’s eyes widen at the words. Tommy looks completely dazed, but as soon as the last line leaves your mouth, he pushes you backward, right into Joel. You squeak at the contact, your brain registering that he actually put his hands on you. Joel quickly grabs you from tripping over him, and places you behind him quickly. Tommy reaches out for you, but Joel stops him meer inches from your face. 

“Fuck you!”

Tommy tries to throw his hand at Joel’s head next but it’s quickly stopped by Joel’s forearm. Instead of Tommy continuing the fight with you two, he takes it out on the new flowers and vase you just put out on Joel’s coffee table. He uses all his force, grabbing the vase and launching it towards the wall. The glasses shatters, water splashes on the wall, and pieces of flowers litter the floor. 

The action sends Joel pushing Tommy backward and against the wall. You want to yell out for them to stop, but all that comes out his Joel’s name. 

When he pins Tommy to the wall, he finally turns to you. 

“Don’t.”

It’s the only word you can say. You’re shaking, your eyes welling with tears. Joel knows you don’t want to see him demolish Tommy with his fists, so he thinks quick. He grabs Tommy’s collar, dragging him out the front door. 

You follow far behind, not sure what Joel’s gameplan is. 

Tommy is yelling, telling Joel to unhand him. Joel just tightens his grip. 

“Coming into my house, talking to my girl like that. Fuckin’ disrespectful little shit.”

“Fuck you, Joel,” Tommy yells, his voice probably waking the neighbors. Joel launches Tommy’s body into the front yard, right near the flower bed. You watch from the doorway, wanting to keep your distance from the confrontation. 

“Remember when you had temper tantrums when Momma told you no as a boy? Nothings changed. You’re an immature little brat.”

Joel reaches down into the flower bed, grabbing the hose. Tommy is still on the ground, scrambling to get up. Joel does something so unexpected, it makes you yelp. He starts soaking Tommy with the hose. 

“Yeah, like the girl said before,” He aims towards Tommy’s face, “bite me.”

Tommy starts to spit up water, jumping up and away from the stream of water. Instead of tackling Joel like you anticipate, he just shakingly wipes his hair out of his eyes. 

“You two are sick. Fuckin’ sick. And everyone will know about this.”

It makes your heart sink to your stomach. You don’t really care if anyone knows anymore. You knew this was going to be the worst part, but its the way he makes it sound like a threat. 

“I bet they will, I just don’t give a damn.”

Joel sprays him while he stands up, making Tommy groan and yell out in annoyance. Joel just smiles, sickly. 

Tommy storms off to his truck, dripping wet from the shower Joel just gave him on his front lawn. Joel tosses the hose back into the garden, satisfied with his work. You two stand there, watching Tommy do a burn out and speed off down the road. You breathe out loud, your hands finding your face. Joel glances between his neighbour’s houses, ensuring there is no one outside watching the events unfold. He did not care if they did watch, but he knew you would probably care. 

He grabs ahold of your shoulders, guiding you back inside the house. Your eyes instantly fall on all the shattered glass and flowers as you walk inside. Joel ignores it and brings you into the kitchen. 

Your mind is racing. You knew every word you said to Tommy was right deep down. But the girl you were, she wouldn’t have instigated his rage. She would’ve sat there and took every word he said to heart and believed them. 

But the girl you are now, that girl is completely ruthless. You are petty. You are harsh. You are angry. 

You kind of scared yourself. 

“Joel-”

“No baby,” he mutters, “You better not say what I think you’re gonna say.”

“Joel, we can’t d-”

“We can. Because fuck Tommy. Fuck everyone,” He grabs your hips, letting his hands settle softly on your curves, “I want you. I want you so bad. I am not lettin’ you get away. Tommy can tell everyone in the fuckin’ world about us, and I won’t fuckin’ care. What he says doesn’t reflect you. You did nothin’ wrong. Okay?”

You swallow. You know he’s right, but you’re so scared of all this fallout. You don’t want it to scare you away from Joel, but it’s nervewracking to wait around and anticipate all of the chaos that will follow this incident. You did not want to tear apart a family. It’s the same feeling you had the morning after you first slept with Joel.

You’re scared to have him because of what it means for him. It means weird holidays and weird stares at grocery stores. It means you will be known as his brother’s ex girlfriend never just his girl. 

You don’t realize it, but you’re staring past Joel. He tilts your head towards him, making your eyes connect. 

“I love you, okay?”

His words make your heart flutter with relief. Maybe that’s what you needed. You needed him to finally say those words. Because those words were hanging in the back of your mind, simmering, waiting to be said.

“I love you, too, Joel.”

[beastofburdenxo]

I got you

Thanks to @smezzzz, here is a continuation of "Look After You" Tommy has another seizure, this time at The Garrison in front of his brothers. As always, you are there. Just some fluff, mention of blood, typical Tommy language.

"Easy there, it's alright now, I've got you." Tommy woke up, excruciating pain ebbing through his head. Another episode happened, this time outside of the comfort of his home, where it could stay hidden.

No, this time, it was at The Garrison, in front of his family, who were very much unaware. Tommy cracked his head on the floor, causing blood to pool around him. John and Arthur picked him up out of his own blood and set him on one of the tables. Unsure of what to do, they called you in a panic.

Of course, you came immediately, knowing tommy would be very upset. Especially now that the cat is out of the bag. "Ssshhhh, it's alright. It's just a little blood this time. Just a small boo boo." You comfort tommy in his dazed state. His eyes are going in and out of focus, occasionally focusing on you. "Why wasn't we told about the seizures?" Arthur asks, clearly bothered by this whole thing.

"Tommy wanted no one to know. He has hid it well these past few months. You know how he is, very stubborn. Wanted no one thinking he couldn't lead. Thought he was less of a man." John shook his head, raising his glass as if to chuck it at Tommy's incompasitated head. "We would have never thought that, you ignorant fuck!"

Just then, a weak sound leaves Tommy's mouth, silencing the room. "Ssshhh, it's okay. We're all here for you, tommy." Arthur walks closer. "Yeah, Tom, we're not going anywhere. You should have told us before shit hit the fan, eh? You asshole." Tommy's eyes are only for you, ignoring the rest as silent tears streak his face. Your name weakly leaves his mouth as he realizes what had happened.

You send the boys away before the storm in Tommy's eyes approaches. His arms reach out for you before the dam finally breaks. You gather him in your arms as broken sobs leave him. "My brave boy. It's okay, sweetheart. Nobody is mad at you. They are just worried in their own way, you know. Sssshhh, tommy, relax." You kiss his forehead as you inspect his latest injury, "Well you've stopped bleeding. And on the upside," you lean to whisper this next part in his ear, "you didn't wet yourself this time. That secret stays with us, yeah?"

You gently rock him like you would an upset baby. Because he is your upset baby. You knew he didn't want this part to be shown. They've already seen the worst. This part is just for the two of you. You are his safe place. "Alright, let's get you home, yeah? You've had one hell of a day." You kiss the remaining tears away and you call the boys back to help tommy off the table.

Of course, they noticed his puffy eyes and the occasional sniffle, but not a word was said about it. Tommy didn't even try and fight their help like he normally would. "Go home brother, try again tomorrow, yeah?" John says with a pat on the back. "We can handle one day, Tom, we'll be alright." Arthur concluded as they helped tommy into the car.

On the way home, Tommy lays his head in your lap. You stroke his face as you drive. "That was so scary. How do you handle it so well?" Tommy murmured. "Well, sweetheart, this isn't my first rodeo. Poor Arthur was white as a sheet." You chuckled. "I don't want to be away from you for a second. I get scared when you're not around."

"Baby, it's okay. There's no need to be scared. Now that everyone knows, they can look after you when I can't. Now, do you see why I wanted you to tell them?" Tommy sighs. "Yeah, but they still aren't you love. You keep me calm."

As you pull up the long driveway, Tommy sits up and lays his head on your shoulder. "My fucking head is killing me." You give him a kiss. "I'd say so. You took quite the tumble today. And if you insist, I don't care to tag along a bit more than I do. But I can't help it if the boys give you shit over it." Tommy smiles up at you. "Fuck em, I need you. More than you could ever know. I love you "

"I love you too, Tommy sweetheart."

[copperbadge]

Spending as much time as I do with obituaries really does get kind of bonkers. I was reflecting the other day that it’s not as depressing as one would think, because while they are all death announcements, they’re usually about what a happy and fulfilled life the person led. It’s not like you see many that talk about what a cranky, friendless asshole someone was. 

I read one the other day where the deceased had a passion for Dr. Pepper, and his last request, which was fulfilled, was to sit on his porch and have one final Dr. Pepper. That’s pretty delightful! And I’m always reading about people who loved cookouts and going to their kids’ ballgames and caring for their grandchildren and working at the community center. 

More and more, too, you see same-sex partners mentioned in ways you formerly really only saw with het couples. I’ve noticed it especially in the last two years, there are so many more than there used to be of “Her beloved wife and best friend” and “His husband of forty years”. 

But also, even getting inured to the grief that bleeds through them, you do occasionally get caught in the ribs by one. Today’s was “The youngest of five, she is survived by three brothers and a sister”. The obits I read are usually for people who have passed from a terminal illness that generally doesn’t hit until you’re over fifty, but it’s a short life expectancy once diagnosed, and often their siblings, and sometimes their parents, outlive them. That’s always rough.

I dunno, I wasn’t really working up to a point so concluding this NOT on the “wow that obit was sad” note is difficult, it’s just all grist for the mill. Death is perplexing but life comes in infinite variety.   

[mariamariquinha]

Bossa Nova (Benny 'Borracho' Magalon x f!reader) - Ten

Nine | Eleven

Summary: Benny's pov (my boy is so stressed).

Word count: 7.482.

Warnings: Bad words, slightly talks about cop corruption, violence, crime, talks about mental/physical health, mention of use of pills, hospital environment and police work.

Author’s Note: I like my men like how I visualize myself: stressed and in need of a fucking break.

I'm also on AO3 now!

MINORS DO NOT INTERACT!

Join my taglist! Don’t forget to reblog, comment and like! As always, I would love to know what you’re all thinking! ❤

****

If someone asked any woman who was involved with Benny at some point in their life about him, there would always be a universal phrase: he's complicated. Not 'complicated' in a 'he has a difficult and unstable life' way, because he did, but in a 'he hasn't known how to be a nice guy for a long time' way. 

Daddy issues. Classic. 

He was committed to the Major Crimes guys, especially Nick, because there was a part of him that hated to disappoint. Aside from ego or personal compensation, Benny saw a lot of his own father in Big Nick, so despite the two being almost the same age, the position of power gave O'Brien a very complex image of a patriarch – flaws and all. When Debbie left, it was clear that Nick would follow the same path as that father, with the difference that he would at least try to spend weekends with the children; Benny wouldn't be able to recognize what the 'head of his family' should be if he had to. 

It had been years since he was just Benicio Ramirez Magalon and not Benicio Ramirez Garcia Magalon, as if he erased every particle of his father from his own history in an arbitrary way, but still having that ghost on his shoulders with O’Brien. 

He didn't think much that night, but he knew it would be natural for him to walk away. It must have been the most genuinely decent thing Benny did for any woman under those circumstances. Maybe it was the fact that you knew how to set limits, that you recognized your weaknesses with an ease that Benny couldn't.

In conclusion, he was disappointed to not find you more resilient than finding out Nick slept with informants, which soon enough he caught himself being a fucking asshole. Maybe that's why, because of this lack of cynicism on your part and the excess of the same feeling on his part, Benny concluded that you were destined for good guys. Some who, at least, didn't make the decisions he made.

****

“And we have a fireplace.”

Yeah, indeed, they had a fireplace – one that was basically turning into dust. You stood there with your arms crossed, letting your mother inspect the apartment and make comments about it. While she and the realtor (a small woman named Eidra) went back to one of the bedrooms, you sat on the small bench left behind on the miniscule living room by the last residents, watching your father look through the window.

When you two shared a glance, the answer was all over the place: a huge and big and extreme and frustrated and disappointed no.

****

Listen, it could always get worse. That was life, you know? And you should know better than to expect that the divorce and the whole Isla stuff would pass by you. Well, it passed through you. With a delay, but still. 

Some of this was your fault, you could admit. Your brother had already advised you to negotiate the sale of the house as soon as the divorce procedures were in progress and you were so catatonic, in a way, that you didn't want to add more to what already seemed too complicated. After months, you found the buyers – good price, you made a profit. 

During Christmas, you ended up tripping over the closed moving boxes and spraining your foot, so on New Year's Eve you didn’t enjoy the trip as much as you could. A bad start to the year, but not the worst thing that happened to you in a long time. 

They were organizing a farewell party for Emma; by March, she would be at DEA headquarters leading their forensic team. You had to act surprised, and politely refused to help with the details ('I'm busy with this moving thing'), which she probably took as a bitter departure. Well, it was what it seemed to be. You didn’t call her off with that, but some part of you was feeling that pit of disgust. There was a murmur about whether or not to invite Major Crimes (even though they never attended that kind of thing), which everyone ended up looking at you for clarification. You didn't know, and that's what you said, accompanied by a modest shrug of the shoulders.

“Send an invitation by email, it's less work if they say no.”

Even because you had time to rethink the unfortunate occasions with O'Brien. You felt offended but you also felt guilty, which was a rather cruel conclusion that Nick was indirectly manipulating you. When you told Gina this, she just gave a genuine shrug and sighed.

“It isn’t like he wasn’t that kind of person before, you know.”

You felt bad – you felt used again. Doubted, discredited. And the fact that you thought you wouldn't care if it happened, that you would be as strong as you had been through the divorce, just showed that you had an ability to lie to yourself. Benny left that night and you knew he had the same realization too; you found yourself believing that the opinion of someone who still followed such strict orders from someone like Nick had no opinion value in your life.

You no longer fit into LASD.

****

“You have insomnia and lack of nutrients. I'll prescribe you some pills and vitamins for both, but I need you to pump the brakes. Burnout has been killing people lately.”

Perhaps, deep down, you knew that this distancing also came with your need to hide that your physical health had worsened. It wasn't that bad, but you had barely been eating and… yeah, you really didn't need another surprise with so much going on.

The doctor pondered something, eyeing the papers and you with a serenity that was closer to reticence. You waited, shoulders slumped and eyes heavy, lacking energy to ask anything else. 

“... This seems like a pattern. The lack of sleep, your headaches… Have you considered another type of approach?”

Long short story, no. And he probably knew that too, since you were there and not in a therapist's office, so you saw him lean over the desk and give you one of those scolding looks.

“It’s very normal for people in your profession to have this type of behavior. Considering what has happened in your personal life, I would advise a psychological reevaluation.”

“I’m not depressed.”

But he hadn't hinted at it, or said anything like that out loud, which only made it all make more sense. He sighed in defeat, then signed the recipe and, alongside with it, put a flier about mental health just in case.

The medicines would be an unforeseen additional expense, but it should give you some peace of mind. At least you hoped so. 

****

“Yes.”

“Bad time?” Gina sounded quite confused on the other end of the line, so you frowned at her tone and stuffed the pills into your bag irritably, the breeze not doing much to cheer up your mood. It wasn't even summer anymore, but the day still felt unbearably hot.

“I’m not on my peak, no.”

Gina went quiet for a bit. In the background, you could hear the noise of people coming and going, as if she were in a crowded place. Calmly, you backed up the sidewalk until you were under the awning of the pharmacy you had just left, switching your phone from ear to ear to hear her better. 

“... What was it? Did someone die?” 

“Where are you right now?”

“I am…” You looked over your shoulder, then at the sign of the pharmacy printed right above your head. “Had to run some errands.”

“How far are you from the Good Samaritan?”

“Good Samar-Gina, I was joking about-”

“You won't believe who's here.”

****

He had been quiet since he arrived and it was understandable. Apart from the answers he gave to the police, there was not much interest in having any type of social interaction, which was respected: it was not as if he was or should have been accustomed to the context in which he was placed.

It was different from the other cases they had been following, Z mentioned. Maybe a slip, but no one could be sure because they weren't experts in psychological profiles and the idea of ​​involving the feds was out of the question. For a lot, there was intuition, experiences on the streets, informants… Murph had already checked, there was a strong lead and they were almost there.

No one wanted to mention the damn coincidences that led them to that hospital and, more precisely, the crime scene. Gina, perhaps, had reacted in some way that revealed a truth that no one wanted to verbalize, and Nick asked them to keep an eye on her – Emma’s leaving, until further notice these people would be a bit of a smartass. 

But what would Gina do, anyway? If she could? Would she call you of all people and ask you to pray for your ex's life? 

Still, Benny stood guard at the hospital until Gina finished work and kept an eye on the news, or at least Twitter. If you had known about it, there would already have been news on the internet and, if you had appeared, taken by an immaculate concern towards the tragedy, you would’ve already done so. All in all, the reason why everyone was on their last strings was how you going there could be harmful to the case.

Maybe that was the problem, after all: he didn't know that side of you. What kind of wife you were, what kind of friend you could be. Everything was too casual, limited to observations he made and the things he remembered when you talked. There was no more karaoke, nor costume parties or Cosmopolitans in your cards or a brother to rely on; he knew these things, but none of them were valid at that moment.

So when he saw you peeking down the hall right after Gina had left (when he himself was already determined to get out of there), Benny didn't feel so surprised because he had tested the odds. Cautiously, he stood nearby, watching your diminished, secretive posture pass by the nurses' table and take slow steps to where Theodore was at. He was frustrated, in fact, and maybe a little stressed by everything, because he certainly didn't expect you to make the dumbest decision possible.

You stopped at a safe distance from the room and didn't come any closer. With a bag slung over your shoulder, you gripped the strap tightly, standing still there as you saw what was left of a guy after getting his ass beaten up, perhaps processing things that Benny would never know about. 

The girlfriend appeared: Aileen. She also hesitated when she noticed you, holding a cup of coffee in her hand as she came up from behind. At this point, Benny became more alert, ready to intervene. Interestingly, Henderson was also returning from somewhere, certainly to pick him up, and his louder voice calling your attention caused a beautiful disaster, like an announced tragedy.

You turned around too quickly, right when she was already on your trail, and hit your arm on the coffee cup that seemed hotter than expected. It hurt, of course. You screamed as the liquid burned the skin of your hand, leaning down just in time for one of the nurses to come to your aid. Aileen stood there in confusion as the liquid hit her clothes, and before Benny could take any further steps to take action, the reality that everyone was in a hospital dawned on him and he stopped.

He exchanged a glance with you as one of the nurses took you to the emergency room. 

“What the fuck, is she out of her fucking mind?” Henderson asked eventually, even if they both knew he would apologize later. 

Benny didn't answer him, however; he doubted the answer even though he thought he was aware enough of your behavior. He just watched you go in silence, both fists clenched in anger. 

****

You had your head down, your eyes still wet from the tears from the pain you had felt. The nurse had been delicate and, considering it was relatively calm, was going through the entire process in a well-rehearsed way. The emergency room was still lively, with people going from one side to the other. When you weren't watching her clean the burn, you looked up at the other patients waiting: broken arms, bloody noses.

Last time, you saw Benny with his arms crossed near the curtain that separated your space, even though it was the only one far from the others.

You knew at that moment that you were fucked.

“Boyfriend?” The nurse asked, making you eye her then him rapidly. 

“No,” You two answered in unison, to which you ended up averting your gaze in embarrassment. 

“I'd like to talk to her privately, anyway. If you don't mind,” He pressed a little, not minding the rude tone he was using. 

She eyed him, then you. With a small nod of yours, she sighed in tiredness and rolled her eyes, tidying up the bandage before leaving. 

A silence hung in the air, tense and with a hint of the impatience he was clearly feeling. You ignored this, however, glancing at your injured hand here and there before adjusting yourself better on the stretcher.

“You know, when I was a rookie I used to get quite excited with the prospect of being heard just showing my badge,” He commented, so you couldn’t help but scoff.

“Yeah, yeah, perhaps the biggest problem in America is men with damaged egos because no one cares about the size of their dicks anymore.” 

“You always seem to have a metaphor for dicks.”

“It’s a talent.”

“As is your ability to put yourself in shitty situations.”

You looked into his face for a few seconds and found an anger that, in general, seemed to be the only thing available to you from him. No more smiles or sympathy: Benny had chosen his side of the story and, really, that was fine. Still, you couldn't help but miss the other version of him as much as you did at that moment.

“I'm not going to ask who told you because that would be a really stupid question,” He took one, two steps closer to the curtain, slightly pushing it to cover the both of you. “Let's be adults and then you tell me why you came.”

Good question. Great question, actually. Why were you there? Why did you make the fucking dumb decision to be the bigger person and show up? And, by all intends, to end up with a coffee burn from… 

Yeah, it wasn’t your prime, you could give him that. 

“He wasn't just my ex husband. And I didn't want to come, but I thought I would be an asshole if I didn’t do anything.”

Benny stared at you for a long moment then; he stood there, still, eyeing you as if he was looking for something – to the point of discomfort. You averted your gaze to the floor. 

“I've read your file, did you know that? As soon as you came in and became the talk of the team, I went to find out who you were,” It made you raise your head to him, taken aback by his sudden change of subject. “First in your class, completed a specialization while still graduating. You're kind of a genius, and honestly, you had every right to be a bit of an asshole to people.”

“... You don’t need to say this,” You said.

“What should I say then?”

“I can work with nothing,” And then you snapped at him, seeing his expression shift from serenity to full annoyance. “We’ve been doing this dance very well over the last few months.” 

When he didn't offer any further comment, sighing in impatience from your stubbornness. 

“What I mean is, you're a fucking smart scientist and everything, but you still insist on being naive like that.”

“I know,” You mumbled in defeat. 

“Do you now?”

In other times, there would be a cunning answer on the tip of your tongue; hell, in other times, you wouldn't even let him or anyone talk to you like that. The point was that you were so tired of putting yourself in this position, of facing things that weren't even your business because you had been in that defensive and combative mode since things started to get out of control.

You sighed and ran your good hand over your face, rubbing away the melancholy expression.

“Do you still like him?” You couldn’t help but raise your eyebrows in surprise at his question, watching the way he was so serious about it. 

“What’s that supposed to fucking mean?” 

He shrugged. 

“Means whatever.”

“I don’t like him.”

“It wasn't what it seemed.”

“Are you serious?” You couldn’t help but laugh in disbelief. “You don't know anything about my life to insinuate that kind of thing about me.”

“So answer me without sounding like I'm accusing you of something.”

“Well, then ask questions that don't sound like you're accusing me of something.”

And that seemed to have ended the argument (not the conversation), but Benny didn't move or seem willing to do anything to end the topic. 

“... What?” You asked with impatience. 

“The girl who spill the coffee on you, she-”

“Aileen,” Your interruption came with a huff, while wiggling the fingers of your bad hand. “Yes, she’s a stunning woman my ex cheated me with, if that’s what you’re trying to ask.”

“I’m not trying to ask anything,” Benny frowned. “You're the one on the defensive. I don't want to know the details, I just need to make sure you don't put yourself in the front line of something that’s none of your business.”

“He’s someone I know!”

“Are you serious right now?”

“No,” You used a firm tone, watching him go from stern to doubtful in a beat. “I’m a human being and unfortunately I’m sensitive enough to visit my ex who was beaten by a gang of robbers. Do I wish I had done something to her for what happened? Of course, but unfortunately I also like my job. And my ethics, if that matters.” 

“I just don't want to have to clean up any messes again.”

Deep down, if you really cared, you would’ve been more outraged by what he had said to you. In the end, you just became even more pissed off, so it probably meant that you were mad. The audacity, the… That seemed like the kind of thing that put him closer to what Major Crimes really was.

“... You're quite an asshole, you know that?”

He sighed, looking away and probably reevaluating a route. 

“I didn't mean it that way.”

“Sure. How lucky would I be to endure two public humiliations without having provoked them? I really must be a saint.” 

“Then I’ll be the bitch. I meant exactly what I meant,” You both shared a stare. 

In fact, he was right: you were complicating everything. If you had just done what you meant to do, maybe you wouldn't have acted so immature, but there you were, holding your ground because you were an idiot. This was so frustrating, so stupid. You didn't need to do that, you didn't need to try to be something you weren't. No one ever imposed this type of behavior on you, there was no gun in your head telling you that things should be that way. 

You felt defeated. Your physicality, your face, everything exuded the reflections of a woman well out of orbit. 

“I'm going to tell you something very honest,” He took a few steps closer, searching the eyes you’d been avoiding until you could be looking at each other again. “I want you away from this case. Not because I think you're gonna mess something up, but at this point it's clear that your judgment can prevail over the evidence.” 

It wasn't like he was wrong, so you stayed quiet.

“Nick is going to end up being pretty scathing about what happened here today, so believe me when I say that this time I'm really going to let you off the hook. You'll owe me one.” 

Again, you remained silent, which was a bit surprising since you almost always had something to say. He was there, stern, giving you a well-deserved scolding, pointing a finger in your face, and it was as embarrassing as it was incredibly satisfying. It wasn't like what happened in your kitchen or anything like that, because he was truly mad at you, not the circumstances. Without Nick, Isla, Emma; it was you and him. You were the target.

His eyes were focused on yours, because he wanted to say it in all words. They seemed even darker, more powerful compared to yours, and that made you move in shyness. It was a side of Benny you didn't know yet.

“And please wake up. That girl isn’t half the woman you are,” This shocked you even more, since he hadn't stopped looking visibly irritated while passing his eyes over your body. “Nor half-experienced.”

Okay, well, that was… Well… 

He shouldn’t have that right, did he? Why were you blinking several times and not saying anything then?

You stayed quiet – you didn’t want to embarrass yourself somehow. And with your silence, Benny just nodded while averting his gaze for a beat too long, passing a palm over his mouth with a tense sigh. 

“She's going to discharge you and I want you away from here, understand?” He murmured, both hands placed on the mattress to cage you. 

If he asked (which he clearly wouldn't), you would explain the details of your drunken confession from that first date. Benny was very intense, definitive; that was his version a little beyond what happened in your kitchen, and if you pushed a little harder, you'd notice that his eyes were darker than normal, putting you in an instant trance, whether out of fear, regret or… something else.

His eyes, at that moment when you just didn't say anything, went from your eyes to your eyebrows and then to your nose and mouth, agitated about how to actually look at you. 

“Am I understood?” Benny pressed with a growl. 

You nodded. 

“Yes or no?” 

“Yes.”

“Great.”

He walked away with some hesitation, but opened the curtain to leave with a brutality that made you jump instantly. You let out a heavy breath, bringing your injured and closed hand to your chest in a somewhat unconscious act of protection, but not necessarily because of him. Benny was right; reactive, but right. 

What the fuck were you doing in that place?

****

“Why did you do that?”

Henderson was driving back to the station when he asked. The car remained silent, with no answer for a long time, and Benny continued to stare at what he had written down of what Theodore said.

“She’s a partner. Big Nick would do the same.”

“I don't think so,” Henderson snorted. “You like her.” 

Benny didn't comment on that either, because there wasn’t anything to add. In any case, the lack of a reply said everything his friend needed to know.

****

Okay, Benny did like you a little. Amicably. At first it was purely sexual, and he even thought about bragging to Connors that he had managed to fuck you first, because he was sure he wasn't going to make it past the first date. But even with all the other interesting women he did the same thing with, the indifference you had made it for him. If it was just that, if you had drunk a little less and gone to bed with him that night, that would be fine to you; maybe you even expected the other guys would know about it. 

Then you two kissed and he didn’t mention anything to anyone. You became funnier and prettier and he noticed the things about you. Benny found out he liked the idea of it being a secretive thing, to remember how you sounded, the texture of your skin and the smell of your hair and keep it to himself. You were an irredeemable nerd, but you were rebellious: you clashed with Big Nick, you had a beautiful, huge tattoo on your leg, you smoked marijuana, you messed with other girls.

He enjoyed your closeness, whether as a friend or as a lover. It was advantageous to have you around.

Since what happened at the hospital, Benny thought about apologizing and saying that he was just upset. They were really close to get that guys, there was a lot of pressure from above after the debacle with the DEA, no one was in the thick of the fucking around. He didn't apologize despite wanting to, though, because he knew things didn't feel easy for you either.

Well, he couldn’t be sure of it, if he liked you as if in a crush or just as a person who he got along with. You made him hesitate to make some kind of mistake towards you, so what Benny could say for certain was that he liked you. Just a little.

****

“Do you know anything about this?”

You and your dad were in the kitchen washing the dishes when he asked. His tone was low, almost discreet to be heard only by you and, hopefully, distant enough for your mother to take note of the question. The room was small, very different from your old house, and the walls provided good coverage so that she, who was on the emergency stairs smoking a cigarette, was at an even safer distance.

Still, you peeked out the small window above the sink and could see the smoke rising from the exact place you saw her climbing. 

Earlier, they arrived talking about how the newspapers and Twitter had reported what had happened to Theodore. You did no more than say that Gina brought it up, but you weren't on the case and it was ethically (as well as judicially) wrong for you to get too close. Still, you tried hard to say that you knew he was okay – which your father clearly managed to see as a half-truth.

“... I went to see him at the hospital,” You mumbled, eyes fixed on the dishes in front of you, not daring to find out how he was looking at you. 

“You two talked?”

“No,” You paused. “But I saw Aileen.” 

He didn't say anything; the tap was still on, but the noise of dishes being moved had stopped. You pretended you hadn't noticed, going to the cupboard and putting away the already dry glasses, trying to stay away from the excruciating gaze you felt on the back of your head.

That silence had meaning; your father could go days without bringing up the subject waiting for you to talk about it. Like it or not, you could let him use this strategy, and you would have more time to decide how to talk about it, but your mother knew this habit better than you and, well, there was a reason why you were talking away from her. 

You closed the cabinet and turned around, moving closer to him before leaning the small of your back against the table, defensively crossing your arms. He turned off the tap, dried his hands; the worried expression never left his face.

“I was in the hallway and one of the detectives in charge called me. I turned around without realizing she was behind me, so she accidentally spilled hot coffee on my hand,” You held up your hand wrapped in the bandage.

“So you two didn’t interact? Aside from this?”

“Like in an indian soap opera, yeah,” Your answer made him hiss. “She apologized, I think. I don’t remember a lot.”

Well, it was a lie – one he could catch from a mile away. You remembered each piece of moment you could grab from that mess: the way her eyes widened at the sight of the coffee being spilled on your skin, the way she raised her hands to reach out, the pain, the step back you gave to make sure she wouldn’t get any closer and, specially, the way Benny and Henderson were watching the whole scene. 

The reason why you didn’t go into a spiral of remorse was this fact, that amongst Z or Nick, the ones who were there were the least worse. Gus was nice, polite and Benny was… Benny. And for days you expected for something, for Emma to give you one last penitence or for O’Brien to spill some shit on your face; God knew you deserved it all. It was a bad feeling. You didn't like the idea of ​​feeling embarrassed, the exposure or even your lack of reaction, but more than that, you felt torn by the idea that you hadn't felt as sorry for Theodore as you thought you would.

“It’s just… I’ve been punching myself for even going there in the first place,” You sighed in defeat, your good hand passing all over your face. 

“Maybe we raised you way too well.”

“That’s not entirely true… But not because of you, that is.”

And you knew you shouldn't have said that, at least not in those words, because then he would come with more arguments about how you should let your mother in, about how she wanted to be part of your life and how it would be better to have her as a support – as a woman-to-woman conversation would be more enlightening.

He didn’t even need to point that out, in fact; you already slipped in before he could open his mouth. 

“I think it's better not to.”

“Because she could be too harsh?”

“Because she could be too honest. I love her, dad, I really do, but I had a hell of a moment with a coworker that makes me ashamed to even look at his direction because of it. I…”

I don’t want to disappoint her again. I don’t want to be a burden. 

It was always much easier for your brother when it came to your mother: she welcomed him and they just understood each other. With you it was always a problem. She said you spent a lot of time with your dad, that you must be like this or that, that, honey, Theodore is a great kid but I don't think he'll come back after college. He returned. You got married. You got divorced and, during all the crises, you were also embarrassed to come back with your tail between your legs to say that she was right in a way. You made your brother swear under professional secrecy that he wouldn't tell her anything, but you still contained details just in case.

So no, it was better not to. It would be another shame, another thing that she would look at you with great pity, and you were tired of putting yourself in that position.

“I'm off the case anyway. Gina doesn't report to me, just like she gave the tests to the person on the other shift. There's no risk of me getting closer to Theodore again.”

“But you were looking for something when you went there. Did you find it?”

You stared straight at his eyes for a long, beating moment. 

“... I did.”

“And what was it?”

For a brief second, you could still feel the sensation of seeing Theodore beaten up, the dried blood and lowered eyes. Could see the way he seemed fine, injured but not unstable, able to still be operative, essential to the industry. 

“Relief.”

****

“I know you.”

You didn't expect it to come out so full of doubt, but you expected him to have some memory lapse in the time you had seen him.

Dr. Cillian Byrne was a professor you had at university just before you changed your major. It was in your first year, at the end of the first semester, and with the changes in the curriculum for your audiovisual expertise, you only had the chance to attend, roughly, three or four of his classes. He was a bit young for the position, people said, and when your academic psychopathy caught other people's attention, they told you the same thing. Unlike him, you never went that far. After you graduated, you joined the LASD and managed to pass the evaluation for field CSI, but with so much bureaucracy in the way, you ended up stationed in the laboratory for good.

Looking at him there, it felt like a full circle moment. You didn't connect the dots until that last name took place and you exchanged glances with Emma from afar, who just shook her head lightly as if to say you shouldn’t mention Ballard. 

“I took some classes with you in college,” You mentioned after saying your name, watching his eyebrows raise in recognition. 

“Right, I remember you. The girl who ran to the second boring stuff in CSI.” 

“The second?”

“It's the rule. First come the academics, then the laboratory rats, then the coroners and only then the self-centered field ones.”

Emma was walking towards you when he said that, so when she got closer and saw that the two of you were sharing friendly laughs with each other, she went from confused to pleased in seconds.

“It isn’t that usual to see a successor at a faraway party, but I feel like it’s going well,” She said.

The hotel ballroom was full (exaggeratedly, but fair enough) and judging by the amount of times you saw Dr. Byrne going from group to group with smiles, you could agree that he was breaking the awkwardness of being there under these circumstances. Maybe it was the mood itself. Everyone was well dressed, sipping expensive drinks they could only have on special occasions, laughing at whoever was on duty and taking photos for Facebook; the boring part could wait until the next day.

“I was telling her she’s the first familiar face I've seen here, which is a surprise,” Dr. Byrne lied, so you sipped on your soda to avoid giving that away. 

“... Oh,” Emma frowned, a confused smile fighting for its life to not make her discomfort so evident. “You do know each other, then.”

“He was one of my professors in college.”

“Almost,” He teased, eyes swiping from you to her. “I found out just after two weeks that she fled to the computers.” 

“You seem to have been upset about this,” She was the one teasing now, on the verge of embarrassment to be honest. 

“Well, when you start hearing how much this student who changed majors became one of the bests… It’s hard not to feel at least jealous, right?”

And perhaps Emma and you would talk about this in the future if it hadn't been in that sensitive context, because it was clear that Dr. Byrne had looked into everyone in the department and was perhaps doing background checks as if he were doing his homework. It was the first time in months that you and Emma exchanged a similar look, raising your eyebrows and understanding the situation right away, sharing glances with an inside joke that you hadn't told each other for a long time.

“She’s really great, I have to admit. Hurts me to leave this whole amazing team, to be honest,” She went the easy and polite way, one hand tapping on your arm. “I'm sure you'll get along great on a daily basis.”

“I’m looking forward to it. Who else would give me a better report on what’s up with the infamous Major Crimes’s gang?” 

This time, the discomfort that had been eating away at the edges and that you were able to overcome came to the surface, which made you step back with confusion close to indignation. Dr. Byrne seemed neutral despite this, smiling from ear to ear as he watched Emma unsure of what to say and then you, coming to the inevitable conclusion that he was an idiot.

“... I’m afraid that I’m not the best person to expect that. Perhaps the sheriff?” You gave one more chance to get away with the topic, but he shook his head and insisted, keeping that smile that started to scare you off a little. 

“Why wouldn't it be you? Emma told me that you all have an extensive professional partnership. Not to mention the quality of your reports on Ballard's cases.”

“Oh.”

“I just told him that you could explore more of your expertise with the complex cases they work with,” She rushed to add, the glare on your face now clear as the day.

“I see.”

“But I believe, Dr. Byrne, that I also added that she knows how to limit herself to technical reports, all personalized for each context. You saw it yourself, as she was an expert on a case with one of our most senior detectives.” 

Only then, perhaps added to the way you were no longer so interested in being friendly around the subject, did Dr. Byrne step back and nod, praising your ability to remain professional in the work environment or something. You honestly stopped paying attention, eyes swiping over your drink in hand to avoid any signs of clear embarrassment. 

“I’m really excited to start this new journey with you all. See you on Monday?” He turned to you, giving just enough time for your reaction to snap your head up and force a smile. 

“Of course. Welcome to LASD.”

You two shook hands, then he left. 

But Emma stayed. 

“I didn’t mean to-”

“Did you also mention your friendship with Walsh?” You couldn’t help the venom on your voice, which made her sigh. “Very professional, Emma. Very professional.”

“He just did the research, okay? I wasn’t intending to share everything about you guys, but he just came by with a fucking folder with all your names on it. Not to mention what the sheriff told me…” 

Not that you were in a position to speculate, much less to sympathize with whatever she had faced, but Emma lost her neutral posture as soon as he walked away, that you lost some of your irritation and eyed at her suspiciously, seeing her looking around and making sure no one would hear.

“I made a list of recommendations, but he didn't even read them and said that Byrne had already been chosen. Nick came up to me and said that-”

“You talked with Nick about it?”

“See how weird things are,” She rolled her eyes. “I think he feels threatened. Byrne is close to the sheriff, this could undermine O’Brien's freedoms.”

“And is it bad?”

“I don’t know… I mean, when you know how someone operates, it can be easy to guess, but I’ve never been around him enough to be sure of anything.”

“So you’re suspicious because of this,” You concluded and she agreed. With a deep breath, you looked around just as she did minutes before, catching sight of Cillian and Lennon talking. 

“He’s… an academic.”

“He’s a brat,” You shook your head, biting your lower lip while still staring at him from afar. “Older men, high IQs... Just the smell of testosterone bothers me.” 

“It's not like my feminine presence made any difference.”

When you looked at her again, surprised by her condescending tone, Emma was sipping her own drink with some embarrassment. You didn't know if you should give any approval, if you even had the right to do that, but you knew that it was just her trying to have a clearer conscience about what happened. Byrne was going to take over, and she admitted she had misgivings about the guy – it was noble, like a last shred of ethics in the middle of what seemed like a specifically planned transition.

“... You made it easier for Walsh to take over the case once and for all, didn't you?” 

Emma kept quiet, which was enough of an answer. Not knowing what to say, you nodded along in that silence, unsure if you were shocked or just… relieved. 

“I can understand your disbelief in Nick's methods. Take it from me, I had some problems because of it,” You conceded, so she raised her eyes at you sheepishly. “It's hypocritical to say that in parting, but I was upset that you did that knowing that Walsh would somehow throw me into the fire.” 

“You better than anyone could understand that it was an inevitable consequence.”

“I do, that’s why I never tried to make it a big deal all these months. God knows we have a lot to be forgiven for, so… Be careful with Mathias, ‘kay? Just as you’re telling me to be careful with Byrne.” 

It was the closest you and she could get to resolving the problems. In the future, perhaps, you could look at it more coldly and understand that it was too dramatic, but it wasn't the time; at the moment, the two of you have reached a consensus for the greater good.

The kind that included men with a lot of midlife crises.

****

Benny had seen the whole scene, from Byrne approaching you, the jokes he made you laugh at and even the moment he made you throw a look of disgust at him. He shouldn't even be there anymore: he had a date that night, one that would probably result in a good fuck and none of Emma's rascality. Still, as he watched you interact with those people, Benny ended up traveling in thought again.

He thought he missed what you had risked before. You were more relaxed, determined; you had no way of deciding what he was because the two of you barely knew each other. The dress you wore there was similar to the one on your first date, but not the same. If he tried, he could still feel your awkward drunken ways or, with more effort, visualize the result of an alcohol-free night like the one you were having at that party.

Deep down, Benny wanted to feel like a good guy because, for some reason, he didn't want to put you in that trophy position like he did or would do with other women. This comforted him; encouraged him. If he got closer again, if you started a relationship again, he was afraid that he would succumb to the boredom of not being able to hold on to that heroic feeling of having spared you from something toxic, that would soon hurt you or he would hurt himself.

“Are you going?” Connors asked as soon as he felt Benny shift beside him. “She’s gonna say some words.”

So he stayed, both feet firmly planted on the floor as long as he could, watching each other as Emma went up on the small improvised stage to test the microphone and you, who remained in the same place, one arm resting on the bar counter as you looked at the scene with a blank expression.

“You know, I never thought I would go through this before I was 60, but I think destiny is something impressive,” Emma said. “Having to say goodbye to you all is painful, but I know that this new phase will be transformative for all of us. In a positive way, that is.”

You passed your hand (the injured one) over your mouth, as if you were hiding a reaction even though no one other than him was paying attention to you.

“Since I'm not much of a talker and since I know I said my private goodbyes to everyone here, I'd like to recite one of the emails I received from my mentor once I got my position at LASD.”

Everyone got quiet. 

“True peace is only truly achieved when we realize that we cannot be all good and, therefore, we will be villains for some and heroes for others. It’s an unfair and cruel measure, but despite being protagonists of our own stories, our moral compass will not always point in the right direction. It’s up to us, as human beings, to embrace our weaknesses and ensure that, within our obligations, we can do our best. Therefore, our sacrifices will soon be seen as choices, which will or will not shape who we’ll be as people.”

It was only for a second, a thousandth of a second, when Emma finished that corny speech and everyone applauded, that Benny looked at you again and saw that you looked back. It shouldn't have meant anything to you, just like it did to him, but he knew that, perhaps, that adventure should’ve ended before it began.

That was the choice you two made.

****

No pressure tags:

@cheesybadgers

@thoroughlymodernminutia

@seaweeden

@thesandbeneathmytoes

@eclecticfashionbookszipper

@servenas-inner-fangirl

@mysoulisasunflower

[slytherhys]

Keeping Secrets

Prompt: Cassian's allergies help him solve a mystery.

A/N: After a long writing slump I have returned with yet another Elriel fic. If you guys like it I might write a part II about elriel's not-so-secretive rendezvous... 🤭

Cassian couldn’t help but think, as he looked out the window from Rhys’s new office, that the City of Starlight was a sight to behold when painted in the colours of Spring.

Flowers seemed to bloom in every corner, painting the cobblestone pavement in purples and blues and pinks, greenery following close behind. Their fragrance spread through the streets as the sun shone brighter, its light sparkling against the surface of the Sidra. People walked to and fro the Palaces, laughter and joy in their voices as they visited their favourite shops and enjoyed the warmer temperatures. It wasn’t Cassian’s favourite season, but he had to admit it was a nice reprieve from the bitter cold winter they’d had to endure the past few months.

Besides, Spring in Velaris was never a nuisance to him – despite his allergies, it was rare that he would so much as sneeze.

Even if today, for some reason, Cassian couldn’t stop fucking sniffling.

Rhys eyed him with a raised brow, sending the tissue box on his desk a pointed look - like he had done many, many times since he had first arrived. Cassian pointedly ignored him.

“The season doesn’t seem to agree with you, brother.” The asshole said, pushing the tissue box in his direction.

Cassian pointedly ignored that as well, sniffling indignantly and moving away from the window – even if it did little to relieve him. The entire office smelled like those damned flowers, making his nose run and itch like it did on the rare occasions where he had been unfortunate enough to visit the Spring Court. 

It was Elain’s fault, really. When he had first gotten to the River House - albeit an hour early - he wasn’t entirely expecting her to be the first person he’d see. He knew well enough the garden in the back was being tended to by her - something he clearly had failed to remember when he pulled Elain into a warm hug, pressing a small kiss to her cheek before setting her down. Needless to say before he could even say hi Cassian was sneezing - not once, not twice but three times. Elain had laughed softly, apologising and explaining that she had received a new batch of flowers that she had just carried to the back to plant for the first time. Her sister, of course, would be the one getting the flowers first. For her kindness, El had explained. 

He adored Elain - truly, he did. He just couldn’t understand why, exactly, he couldn’t stop sneezing and sniffling hours after being near her. 

He had gotten better for just a few moments - just until Rhys and Azriel barged into the office. Rhys first, frown on his face that he assumed had something to do with Nyx (apparently the High Lord didn’t like the fact his son’s first words had been mama ), and Azriel just a few minutes later, looking more flushed than Cassian had ever seen him. He had questioned neither - he definitely didn’t ask any of them why they’d both been over 15 minutes late to a meeting that was going to end up being nearly two hours long. 

So what if he had to leave Nesta in their bed, forgoing her morning cuddles in favour of a stupid meeting that they’d both been late too? So what if every minute they were late meant another minute away from her? Cassian wouldn’t point it out. He was a General, the Commander of the Night Court’s armies - he was above such petty feelings and childish grudges.

He sniffled - indignantly, of course, not because of his allergies - stepping further away from the windows once Rhysand finally concluded their meeting. “Well, I know you both have no concept of time, but I plan to meet Nesta by the Sidra for lunch, and I'm already fifteen minutes late.” 

He was above such petty feelings and childish grudges most times .

Rhys smirked, opening the door of his office, not even bothering to acknowledge his remark as he leisurely strolled down the hallway, hands inside his pockets in a show of ease that had taken him centuries to achieve. Cassian fought the urge to remind him of his younger years and all the embarrassing shit their High Lord had done, just for the sake of it. He was a good friend, after all.

 Azriel followed close behind, Cassian grumbling as he joined him, following Rhys to the foyer. 

“You don’t seem to be in a good mood, brother.” Azriel smirked slightly, his flushed skin glowing. But before he could remark on that unusual occurrence, Cassian sneezed. 

Four times. 

Azriel grinned. 

“And why are you in such a good mood?” He muttered, surreptitiously reaching into his pocket for a tissue he had stolen earlier when no one was watching, observing Azriel with a critical eye. Because he truly was in a good mood - which was odd, to say the least. Besides the flushed skin, his hair seemed rumpled, and even if the bags under his eyes seemed more pronounced than ever, there was a glitter to his hazel eyes that told Cassian it wasn’t exactly nightmares keeping him up at night. Even his leathers seemed more rumpled than ever, dirt under his boots and…was that a flower pressed on the toe of his left boot?

He also hadn’t missed the fact that Azriel had chosen to follow Rhys and leave through the front door like a normal person, instead of simply flying out the open balcony like he usually did. 

Cassian frowned. “Late night, brother?” He asked, just as they reached the kitchen. Azriel’s expression betrayed nothing, his face as stoic as ever.

“Early morning.” He mumbled, a light twitch to his lips. There and gone in a second. Cassian narrowed his eyes, failing to understand what that actually meant, but the sound of two familiar voices stopped him from probing. 

Feyre and Elain stood by the doors leading to the gardens, talking softly and laughing until they both noticed their presence. Cassian felt, rather than saw, Azriel go still next to him as he eyed them both, eyes assessing as they usually did. Rhys, however, seemed to relax - like he always did - as soon as his mate’s eyes found his, pulling her into a kiss that felt more intimate than it should’ve been in the presence of three other people. Feyre giggled, slapping him softly in the chest, a blush taking over her pretty face as they spoke softly with each other. 

Cassian quickly looked away, choosing to eye Elain instead. She, too, had a healthy blush to her cheeks, her hair a bit messy, a loose bun keeping it from going to her face. Her hands were playing with the straw hat she was holding, eyes flickering between him and Azriel, something secretive shining in them as she watched them both. 

Cassian ignored the tingling in his nose. “How are the new flowers coming along, El?” He smiled at his sister-in-law, not missing the happiness in her entire expression that seemed to grow every day that passed, just as she found her place in their court. The last few months, especially. 

Elain’s cheeks darkened further, her eyes widening slightly as she stared up at him. “Oh,” she laughed nervously. “Very well, thank you.” She said as she reached for her hair, letting it down softly as her eyes flickered to her sister and Rhys, quickly turning back to Azriel and Cassian when she saw them kissing once more. The scent that had followed him to the office earlier hit him full force again just as she let her hair down and before he could even mutter his confusion, he was sneezing again. Once, twice, three times. 

Elain smiled apologetically, but Cassian was entirely too focused on something else to even notice. A small flower , woven into her hair. A familiar sight, he thought, just one he couldn’t exactly place. 

Before he could think about it, he was reaching for it, taking Elain and himself by surprise with his sudden move. 

“You have something-” He trailed off, holding the small blue flower in his hand, trying to place it. 

“Oh.”  Elain chuckled softly, taking a step back as if to protect him from any more sneezing. He was grateful for it. “It’s the new flowers we got today.” She explained, smiling sweetly. “I spent the entire morning planting them in Feyre’s gardens.” 

Cassian frowned, eyeing Elain again. “Are you sure we don’t have these somewhere else?” 

Elain laughed, Az going suddenly very quiet. Cassian eyed him, oddly feeling as if he had been handed the easiest puzzle piece and still failing it somehow. “I’m sure, Cass. I ordered them specifically for Feyre’s new gardens a few months ago.” She eyed them both quizzically, something flashing in her eyes as she looked at Azriel, eyes widening comically as she backtracked. “Or… Or maybe I got some for Nesta? It’s happened before-”

“No, that’s not it.” He shook his head, eyeing Azriel closely. His daring eyes, his clothes, his boots…

And the fucking blue flower pressed to the toe of them. 

Cassian felt his eyes widen, his heart beating loudly before his brain could even catch up with what his body had already figured out. 

“Holy fuck, are you-” the rest of his words muffled by Azriel’s scarred hands, silenced by the flashing in the shadowsinger’s eyes that warned him about the dangers of even thinking about whatever was about to come out of his mouth. 

Elain looked entirely too calm - if only not for the panic in her pretty eyes as she eyed them both, unsure of what to say. Cassian wasn’t sure he wanted to hear her explain anything, if he was being honest. 

Her flushed skin, her rumpled hair… Not only from spending an entire morning working under the heat of the sun. The flower in her hair, suspiciously identical to the one pressed against the toe of Azriel’s boot. Not the sole of it, but the toe , as if he had been kneeling …

Oh, he was going to be sick. 

“What’s happening right now?” Feyre’s voice broke him out of his stupor, Azriel’s eyes flickering to their High Lady even if his hand remained pressed against his mouth. Cassian pushed his brother away, gasping for air. Had the asshole forgotten his stuffy nose or was he actually trying to kill him? 

Rhys sighed. “Don’t worry yourself about them, Feyre darling.” He said, taking her hand in his and pulling her in the direction of the front door. “You all know where the door is, so please make use of it sooner rather than later.” He said over his shoulder, just before turning around and sending Elain a charming smile. “Except you, Elain. Make yourself at home.” And then he was gone, his mate under his arm as they strolled down the sidewalk. 

Cassian stood dumbfounded, mouth gaping as his eyes flickered between the two people in front of him. Azriel simply rolled his eyes, as if Cassian was the one being dramatic. Elain simply tilted her head as she watched him with open curiosity. 

He wanted to throttle them both.

“How long?” He sputtered. “How did it even… What…” He took a deep breath, rubbing his temples. “Are you guys out of your mind?” He whined. “If Rhys finds out-”

“He won’t.” Azriel said with deadly calm. As if it were truly that simple. 

But Cassian was undeterred. “He will if you’re fucking in his garden, you genius.” He drawled, not missing how Elain pressed her face against Azriel’s stomach, trying to hide her laughter. As if it were funny . Cassian didn’t even blink at their sudden familiarity. As if, deep down, it simply made sense.

“He won’t find out, Cass.” He assured quietly, just as his hand reached out to play with her hair, stroking it, his eyes softening slightly as he looked down at the female next to him. 

No, he couldn’t say he was surprised. 

Sure, it had taken him by surprise, but not because he hadn’t seen it coming, he supposed. After months of odd behaviour from his brother, months of seeing him weirdly… content. Not to mention the fights over Elain’s privacy, the discomfort over Lucien’s presence…It was as if everything simply clicked. 

He groaned, rubbing his face with his hands. Nesta would become insufferable once she got wind of this.

“Does Lucien-”

“No.” But it wasn’t Azriel that interrupted him, even if his brother moved slightly, as if to protect Elain from his words. Elain’s voice, however, left no room for questions, almost daring him to ask anything else. Cassian knew she had already made herself clear over where she stood concerning Vanserra’s affection. 

Cassian also knew what Nesta would do to him if he found out he had told his sister that she should take the male’s feelings into consideration. Such conversation had taken place when they had made a bet, only days after the solstice last year. I’m pretty sure they’re hooking up , Nesta had said casually as she watched Az and Elain talk softly on the other side of the room. Cassian had laughed - loudly - which eventually led to a bet being made. Nesta had looked entirely too smug when he had agreed to it, but he hadn’t even stopped to think about it.

He was seriously regretting his own life choices. 

Cassian sighed. “I hope you guys know what you’re doing.” 

Elain squared her shoulders, raising her chin as she looked at Cassian. Yet, she never once stepped away from Az. “We do.” She said, a quiet conviction to her voice that he wouldn’t dare question. She gulped, squeezing Azriel’s scarred hand. An assurance , Cassian realised. 

That Az didn’t immediately pull his hand away was probably the most surprising thing happening in the past few hours. 

“There are some choices that are worth being made, Cass.” She simply said, as if such words said enough already. Cassian supposed they did. To them at least. As if  they contained a multitude of feelings, of secrets that no one could really understand but them - no matter how much others tried to question them.  

Elain tilted her head, brown eyes assessing him in a way that made him question if she truly saw more than she let on. “No matter what or who might stand against them.”

A quiet promise, he presumed. A threat to those who weren’t even present to hear it, as if Elain was stealing herself and Az, for what lay ahead. Cassian wasn’t sure what to say, what assurances to offer, what support to give - not when the future seemed so uncertain to all of them. 

But Cassian couldn’t worry about that right now - not when he had to tell Nesta she had won the bet.

Mother save him .

[nanomooselet]

Episode Two: The Running Man

It's odd how little gets said about this ep, considering it's the most direct homage the earlier anime adaptation - but maybe that might be why? Since, as I said, this was my entry into the story, to me it felt out of place. It seemed like it was doing all it could to distract from how the previous ep concluded.

With hindsight, I think that's the idea.

The opening with the radio! I'm so weirdly fond of it. Yeah it's a flashback, but it shows Vash in a private moment without his mask; a glimpse of his secrets. He's not wearing his coat, so you get a look at how broad his shoulders are; he's also handling the tools to maintain his gun skilfully for someone who claims he's not a fighter. As he's contemplating the crash - he was there, obviously, and he has the photo of him, Rem and Nai still - the radio host says without the Plants, our ancestors would have died out long ago. How long ago? Long enough that Vash likely shouldn't still look such a gosh darn pretty boy? Yet it slips by.

(I do not understand the complaints that Stampede had no mystery.)

This is the episode where he's most committed to the bit of being cute but sort of hapless and silly, too, so the contrast is dramatic. I don't think he was actually expecting Meryl and Roberto to clear his name all at once, but I do think he was hoping, I don't know, maybe they'd believe him from the first. But nothing's ever that easy for my boy. I gotta say, Vash, optimism has its limits. Your story is that you're being framed by your previously unknown identical twin brother. You know it's true, I know it's true, but you might have had an easier time with some, I don't know… evidence? It's not surprising the reporters are sceptical.

Oh god, I'm so sorry, do you want a hug or -

(By the way, this means Knives told everyone it wasn't him, it was a one-armed man.)

He's being melodramatic, but I suspect also more sincere than what comes across - which is the whole reason he exaggerates, of course. (What? No, I'm not talking from experience. I have never, ever done this. Never ever in A MILLION YEARS have I exaggerated to obfuscate my sincerity.) The angle changes to show his face, and it's pretty clear how genuinely exhausted and upset even the thought of Knives makes him. Though it is still pretty funny that Meryl just isn't having it.

Also funny: Meryl versus the Worms, round one. Worms 1, Meryl 0.

Roberto greeting Tonis is really cute. He's a grump, but he's never an asshole to kids.

Ahhhh Tonis gives Vash his bugs and Vash pats his head and then he moves to take his hand away Tonis grabs it so he'll keep doing it and then when Rosa tells Tonis to leave Vash look dismayed and waves goodbye and it is so cute and IT IS SO SAD.

Because Rosa loves her son, wants him healthy and happy and safe, wants him shielded from the violence of the world and from decisions like pulling a gun on the hero of your town who's been nothing but good to you, better than you deserve - and yet we saw Rosa come to the decision that she would do this last episode. Right about... here. See the way she moves from standing in front of him, almost protectively, to beside him, clearing the way? By the look on her face, she doesn't want to. Vash proved himself yet again afterwards, saved the town without hesitation the moment it was endangered at great risk to himself. He's a good man, a friend, someone she trusts. But it's not him Rosa's thinking of now. It's not even the town. It's Tonis.

I have to say, Roberto doesn't look shocked or concerned. He just wearily sets down his mug and raises his hands, expression unchanged. Meanwhile Meryl's turned into a cartoon.

Vash understands. He didn't fight back against the MPs. He didn't instigate the duel. It's because of him that this is necessary. That just doesn't mean he's going to make it easy for them.

Ah, that old Stampede special: the undignified leg-spread landing.

Man the English dub is good, but it's this episode I started to realise how good. It's incredibly funny. "The furious fists of the Nebraska Family challenge you to a duel!" "Felt the fury right there!" "Money! Come back!" "I hope you like pancakes, because you're going to become one!"

There's one translation I'm not sold on, though, and it's Nebraska declaring "Power is justice! Power is truth!" I had the same problem in Persona 5 Royal when I played it and the characters kept going on about how they'll "prove our justice". It sounds so awkward.

From what I can tell, the word they're using translates more clearly to "moral rightness" or "righteousness", and the score title for Stampede renders what Nebraska says better: might is right. He's advocating Social Darwinism, basically. It's the natural order of the world: the strong deserve to flourish, the weak deserve to perish.

Nebraska: I hate cowards like you! This whole planet is fighting for survival! Anyone who runs is bound to die like a sorry loser! But you, Stampede! How dare you?! / You coward! I despise waste-of-life cream puffs like you! You have to fight tooth and nail to survive in this world! If those who can't hack it run away and die like chickens, then so be it! But you? I expected more, Stampede!

Vash: You might be right that I'm too timid. But is that such a terrible thing? Is fighting everything head-on so important? Even if it gets someone killed? / Okay, I may not be the bravest, but what's so terrible about being a little timid? Is fighting head-on always right? It risks lives, and for what?

Nebraska: Weapons… are made for fighting! Do you get it now?! There's no future for those who don't fight! / I might as well, huh? It's what the damn thing's made for! That'll show ya! Any snivelling slug too scared to fight must die!

Vash: Come on, can you back off? I really don't want to fight anyone. / Can you guys cool it for a second? I'm really not in the mood for violence.

Nebraska: That's the attitude that pisses me off! / When the world ends, will it ask if you're in the mood?

It's kinda funny that Nebraska keeps going on about it, though, because he also keeps demanding accommodation for his son's weakness. If he was really committed he'd rely only on himself instead of endangering Gofsef. And yet oddly enough, it's the hypocrisy which saves him, because it's how Rosa realises how much they have in common. He loves Gofsef, just like she loves Tonis, and Vash forgives them both.

Enjoy the subtle gag of Meryl mirroring her "parents'" expressions, BTW.

Nabraska judging the townspeople for drinking before 5:00PM as if he didn't just destroy half the place trying to steal their only power source.

Gofsef being creeped out by Tonis's Worm buddies.

And Roberto visibly tuning out as Meryl tells him off.

I think the reason this feels like it's all happening so fast is because this is the place where an episode of the older adaptation would end, leaving some implied time to pass before the next crisis. But this isn't twenty-six self-contained episodes, it's twelve instalments of one story. The running man must continue to run, because it was never humans he was running from.

And I didn't realise this until now, but the drone in Vash's room? It's looking for him, or his things. It doesn't find either.

When it doesn't...

E.G. launches his assault, though the drones had been patrolling since the previous night. Vash was about to leave when he heard the scream from the diner and rushed back to help. And so he stayed long enough for E.G.'s master to arrive in person.

Whatever happened in Jeneora Rock, it seems it was necessary for Vash to witness it, so E.G. had instructions to keep him in place.

So E.G.'s cyborg enhancements look like a bear trap.

Of course.

[royaltercets]

sometimes i think abt the fact that ray turned to alcoholism because his alcoholic late mother didn’t love him, his father didn’t show love like he should have, and his whole friend group kept calling him a burden (a burden!!! who fucking calls their friend that!!!) instead of loving and supporting him which is all he needed, as proven by sand, to stop self harming by ways of alcohol and drugs and letting himself get fucked when drunk only so he doesn’t remember anything, and start rehab and a path to sobriety. if you can’t have an intervention for your friend and support him through hard times, are you really a friend? or are you keeping him around for, idk, the money he might have a bunch of, or something?

i honestly feel like boston was a better friend to him than mew, who kept him around as someone to give him attention and affection and refusing to set his foot down and properly reject him. he was harsh, but not constantly unkind. boston, of course, had his own issues—not the slut thing, but the later infidelity thing with nick, and also the earlier seduction of taken men (which, by the way, is entirely as much, if not more, the fault of said men (*cough* top *cough*) as it was boston’s. cheating takes two people).

i feel like people love overlooking this because…? i don’t know, they’re two characters who are framed to seem like assholes (and they are at times! they’re complex characters!), but this blatantly ignores the absolute red flags that is the rest of them; namchueam—who not only is one of the people to treat ray, who’s got probable ptsd and severe abandonment issues and like 79 other mental illnesses (okay, hyperbole, but you get the point) like absolute shit by continually calling him a burden—but also was like. fine with her brother nearly ruining boston’s life over a false rape allegation, because she disliked boston so much in the moment; mew, who as previously mentioned keeps ray around for his own gain despite thinking of him as a burden; top, who really isn’t a friend to ray but he’s part of the group by association, who’s honestly just an asshole who i guess realizes that he can’t always get what he wants without fighting for it. then there’s april, who is pretty damn spineless imo, but at least she’s not awful to ray (i might be misremembering here, though). idk what to think of her. she feels like she barely has any opinions of her own. she feels very… surface. honestly nick was a better friend to him and he wasn’t even really a friend? i like to think they get closer post-canon though.

nonetheless: the behavior that i see in these so called friends, truthfully, is what got him to attempt suicide twice. yes, twice—you don’t think a drunk person would twist the wheel so far that the car they’re driving crashes into the side wall in the other direction to the one they’re driving in by just falling asleep or losing consciousness or not being alert enough, do you? i’m pretty sure that was intentional. and, i’m pretty sure the reason he pushed away sand and refused to listen to his (albeit very important!!!!) advice about not driving drunk wasn’t because he’s Regular Self Destructive, but rather because ray wanted sand to hate him for hurting him and being stupid to make it… easier, somehow, on sand when he killed himself, or whatever. i’ve been in that situation myself, and i recognized it immediately—he knew his friends (if you can genuinely call them that) would probably hate him after that night, and he did it so that they wouldn’t miss him.

anyways, to conclude this dumb, ill-formatted, ranty post, so many OFTS watchers just… seem to look at the surface of it all. yes, they all have issues. that’s like. the point of the show. but if you consider ray an annoying burden due to his alcoholism and addiction and all of that, you have missed the main point of his arc, which really boils down to “sometimes someone going through a really hard time just needs some love and support, and if you can be that for them, they can become better and show a better side of themselves, which is invaluable to someone who truly loves and cares for them”. love isn’t only for those who don’t take to unhealthy coping mechanisms when they struggle, like nick.

to summarize: if you have a ray in your life, be their sand. not necessarily romantically, but love and care for them, genuinely. don’t be a mew or a chueam. or an april, if you can help it.

[roanofarcc]

PROJECT SUNSHINE CHAPTER FORTY SIX → HELP ME HOLD ON TO YOU

summary: steve harrington x oc

when another product of Hawkins National Laboratory escaped a long-survived nightmare alongside her sister, she crashed into one unsuspecting teenage boy and dragged him deeper into the dark mysteries that made up their hometown.

word count. 8.0k (whoops) || masterlist || oc moodboards

warnings: cannon typical violence, child abuse, horror, gore, and depictions of mental illness. parts of this story were written pre-season 4 release. cannon divergence.

a/n: leia-😃🫶🏻👯‍♀️ vs. sunshine & luke-😣🩸🕰️☠️

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Max’s step-brother was weird. Leia knew he was a bad person, considering he nearly killed Steve and Sunshine the year before. But after she, El, and Max practically broke into the Holloway’s house to follow some hunch El had about Billy, and Leia officially met the notorious bully, something was clearly wrong with him. The way Max had described him fell flat against the boy Leia saw standing at Heather Holloway’s family dinner table, dressed nice but with an almost evil glint in his eyes. She didn’t know what to make of it; she supposed the outcome was the best they could have hoped for. 

Heather Holloway was alive, despite El’s worries that Billy had done something to his lifeguard co-worker. The bloodied whistle and fanny pack they found in Billy’s bathroom weren’t great signs, but they saw the girl with their own eyes, baking cookies for her family. Max had concluded that she had some kind of accident and Billy had helped her. According to her, Billy was an asshole, but he was a little less of an asshole to girls he liked; maybe Heather had simply caught Billy’s eye. 

El still thought something was up with Billy, but Max had tried to quell her worries the best that could, getting El to drop it at least for the rest of the night so that they could have fun at their sleepover. 

Leia was ecstatic. Having a real sleepover with her friend and sister was even more fun than they made it out to be in the movies. Kali had tried to make sleeping in the van or in various warehouses fun by calling them sleepovers, but Leia knew it was different than the high school sleepovers she watched in the movies. But in Max’s bed, squished between Max and El, she was having a real sleepover like a normal high school girl. It was so exciting! 

After they returned from Heather’s, they changed into warm PJs, ate pizza Max ordered with the money her mom left for them on the counter, and giggled about anything and everything. It eventually grew late, and their long day caught up to them. El fell asleep first, slumped against Max’s shoulder. Max was next, still holding onto a Wonder Woman comic book that she read to them with theatrical enthusiasm. That left Leia, still awake in the warm glow of Max’s bedside lamp. She was tired, but couldn’t get herself to fall asleep, still high on the fun events from the day. 

She decided to use up the rest of her energy talking to her brother; that always made her sleepy. 

“Luke? Are you there?” she called out inside her head. 

It took a couple of moments for him to respond. “I’m here. Can’t talk long, though.” 

“What’re you doing?” 

“Getting Mike to apologize to Will,” Luke said. 

Leia rolled her eyes. Mike. The bane of her existence. She’d be lying if she said she wasn’t a little happy that El ‘dumped his ass.’ He was her friend, she supposed, but he got on her nerves. 

“What’d he do to Will?” 

Luke sighed inside her head, which was how she knew he was also irritated with the boy. “He and Will got into some fight earlier. He tried to call him, but Will wasn’t answering so we’re biking to his house now. I don’t think Will wants to see Mike right now, but Mike won’t listen to me or Lucas. We weren’t going to let him go alone, though.” 

Mike and Will, now that was an interesting pair. From what Lucas had explained, the two of them had been best friends since kindergarten and they picked up Lucas and Dustin a little later. They were best friends, but with things back to normal, Mike had started spending all of his time with El and brushing off Will, who was still clearly recovering from the past two years of trauma he endured. She may have not been Mike’s biggest fan, but she certainly didn’t wish for his downfall. Friendship was too important; she hoped he fixed things with Will. 

“Good luck,” she wished him, yawning into Max’s comforter. 

“Thanks,” Luke sighed. “I’ll see you tomorrow, okay? Try to stay out of trouble.” 

Leia smiled softly, feeling herself begin to drift off. “I’ll do my best.” As the rumble of thunder continued outside, she fell asleep, smushed in bed with her sister and friend. Despite her brother’s voice inside her head and weird day trying to get to the bottom of what was up with Billy, Leia felt beautifully normal; she could have stayed like that forever, right there in Hawkins with almost everyone she loved close and safe. It was almost as if life couldn’t get any better. 

…

“Will! Come on, it’s us! Open up!” Mike Wheeler pounded his fists against the Byers’ front door, causing Luke to roll his eyes. He, Mike, and Lucas were soaked after biking in the middle of a thunderstorm from Mike’s to Will’s, hoping to get the latter to speak to them.

“Will, come on, man!” Lucas tried, peeking through the windows to see if anyone else was home to let them in, but the house was dark and there was no answer. That meant either Will was ignoring them or didn’t come home after he stormed out; both were not good, but Luke hoped for the first option. An angry Will they could manage, not a missing one. 

Mike threw his hands up in frustration. “What’d we do now?” 

Luke glared at Mike through his wet curls that hung down into his eyes. “Well, if you hadn’t acted like such an ass, we could be back at your house watching a movie or something. But nooo…” 

“Seriously?” Mike scoffed.

“Yes, seriously, Mike!” Luke hated raising his voice, it didn’t suit him. He was typically quiet and kept most of his thoughts inside his head, but something about Mike made him want to scream. That, and the fact that he was cold from the rain and hadn’t slept properly in days due to his ambush of nightmares. All of his irritation was aimed at the raven-haired boy who didn’t exactly resemble the sweet-natured kid El had described to them a year ago. 

“It’s like you don’t think before you talk!” Luke continued. “Did you ever, for one second, stop to think about why Will wants to spend more time playing D&D with just you guys and not the girls, like how you used to?” It didn’t take a genius to figure Will out, it didn’t even take someone with a formal education to see what was going on. 

However, Mike and Lucas seemed rather clueless as to why their best friend was desperately trying to cling to the last shred of childhood before it was gone for good and succumbed to the encroaching sea of adulthood. 

“I-I don’t know!” Mike sputtered, growing more frustrated with each passing moment. “How am I supposed to know if he won’t talk to us?!” He yelled at the door before knocking again, hoping that Will would hear him and let them inside.

Luke groaned. “Maybe if you thought about anyone other than yourself or El for two seconds, you wouldn’t need Will to tell you; you’d just know.” 

Anger flashed in Mike’s dark brown eyes as he stepped closer to Luke, sizing the shorter boy up. “Oh, so you know him better than I do? Is that it?” Mike’s voice was laced with bitterness and filled with a certain kind of intense emotion that Luke couldn’t quite pinpoint. “Will is my best friend and he has been since kindergarten. You haven’t even known him for a year! You don’t know shit, okay? You don’t know him like I do.”

“Mike-” Lucas signed, placing a hand on Mike’s shoulder, but Mike shook him off. 

Luke felt some of his own anger melt away with the rain. “You’re right. I haven’t known Will long, not as long as you have.” He and Leia were the new kids at the party, and there were a lot of things about the group that they didn’t know. But there also were a lot of things that they knew that the party, aside from El and Sunshine, didn’t understand either. “But I know what he’s going through; I know how he feels.” 

“What’d you mean?” asked Lucas. 

It wasn’t something easy to explain, but he knew he better before Mike tried to fight him on the porch. 

“You guys don’t get it; you don’t know what it’s like to…to have time taken away from you, time that you know you can’t get back. Will went missing for a week, and then he spent the next year not knowing if the thoughts or voices inside his head were his own. All of that time is gone. Will doesn’t get it back. Will didn’t get to move on and grow up like you guys did.”

Mike’s anger held strong and he stepped even closer to Luke with his eyes narrowed. “You’re acting like we weren’t there, like we haven’t been there since the beginning of this. We were the ones who looked for Will when he went missing, you didn’t. We’ve been in the middle of this shit for years now! We do know what he’s going through. We know a hell of a lot more than you.” 

Luke wanted to match Mike’s anger. Mike hadn't been in the Lab; he didn’t know what he and his siblings had experienced. They were the ones who had been there since the start, not the party. While they got to grow up in the warm homes of their parents, he, Sunshine, Leia, and El were being poked and prodded, almost completely forgotten about in the outside world. But at the same time, the longer he looked at Mike and the way his anger hid the fear deep in his eyes. His shaking hands at his sides weren’t from rage but from years of monsters and gruesome deaths that no kid should have witnessed. Mike and his friends had faced their own share of horrors; Luke understood what that could do to a kid. It was clear that no one was unaffected by the things that had happened in Hawkins. Luke didn’t want to accuse them of not being hurt by any of it.

“I know that,” Luke started, calmly. “But it’s different for Will than it is for you guys. He’s trying to hang on to the time he has left and it’s…it’s all leaving so quickly. I do understand him, Mike, because I know how it feels to not want to grow up yet. Leia knows how that feels. So does El and Sunshine. We all get it because we’re living it. We don’t get those years back from the Lab. Will doesn’t get back his time in the Upside Down or the time he was possessed by the Mind Flayer. It sucks growing up when it feels like you hardly got to be a kid in the first place. Will’s just…he’s trying to hang on to something that’s not even there anymore.” 

That’s why it was so hard for Luke to connect with Hopper when he treated Luke like the child he was. Luke couldn’t recall the last time he felt like a child; he supposed he never really had. He felt aged beyond his years, cursed with knowledge of the future no one should be burdened with. All he had were broken memories of a childhood spent first within bleak white walls, then dirty, gratified ones.

In Hawkins, his new home, Luke tried to blend in with the party and pretend like he was just like them, but he wasn’t. The party was losing their grasp on their childhood as he spoke. None of them could keep it forever. Will was just feeling the effects of that more than Mike, Lucas, and Dustin were. 

Mike shrank back, his anger slipping away slightly. “I just…” he groaned, dragging his hands down the length of his face. “It’s just easier to…to-” 

“Pretend like nothing happened,” Lucas finished Mike’s sentence and rounded it off with a sigh. 

“But it’s not really easier. And it sucks. Believe me, I know how much this all sucks. I’m not telling you guys to ditch your girlfriends and spend every second with Will until he’s ready to grow up. But maybe, instead of arguing with each other, you can just listen to him.” Mike was silent for a moment, thinking. “None of this is easy for anyone, but you have to understand that’s different for you guys than it is for Will.” 

“And for you and your sisters,” Lucas added, placing a careful hand on Luke’s coat-clad shoulder, squeezing it affectionately. “Sorry, man.”

“It’s okay.” Luke smiled, tiredly. Being the bigger person, the adult in a fourteen-year-old's body was exhausting. He appreciated Hopper for trying to take that burden from him, but Luke didn’t know any other way to be. 

Mike closed his eyes for a brief moment before he snapped back into his party-leader self and said, “I think I know where Will went.” 

Mud clung to Luke’s new rainboots as he hiked behind Mike and Lucas through the woods behind Will’s house. The towering trees made frightening shadows along the ground and blocked out any stray rays of light from the moon that tried to peak out behind the heavy cloud cover. Broken limbs and twigs littered the ground and the grass was all wildly overgrown from the July heat and rainfall. 

The three boys trudged deeper into the woods. Luke shivered in the all-encompassing darkness until they came upon a shadow outline of a figure that morphed into Will. He was surrounded by a broken structure. Planks of wood were collapsed into a pile on the ground and Will stood among the destruction. He wasn’t in a raincoat, but still dressed in the same clothes he felt Mike’s house in, and his hair hung down in wet strands against his pale face. 

“Will, what happened? Are you okay?” Mike surged forward, grabbing a hold of Will’s shoulders and doing his best to look him over for any injuries in the darkness. 

Will shrugged Mike off and staggered backward, thunder rumbling loudly in the distance. Lightening flashed across the sky, causing Luke to flinch. Will looked between the three as he grasped the back of his neck and said in a low, almost haunting voice, “He’s back.” 

Back in Mike’s basement, four boys sat in fresh changes of clothes and damp hair, their skin still full of goosebumps. Will was wrapped in a blanket, shivering the worst out of all of them, as he sat on the couch beside Luke. They all watched as Mike paced back and forth across the room, biting his lip in thought. 

“I don’t think this is a good idea,” Luke said, nervously drumming his fingers against his 009 tattoo. 

Will gazed at him with sunken eyes and lips pulled in a pleading frown. “Please, Luke. If something is going to happen again, maybe we can get ahead of it.” 

“Yeah,” Mike quickly agreed. “And we can figure out if He is even back in the first place.”

Luke was informed that He referred to the monster that possessed Will the year prior. Will was sure that the monster was back, somehow, because he could feel him. But neither Mike nor Lucas wanted to believe him; not because they thought Will was lying but because of what that meant for all of them. El had closed the Gate and that was supposed to mean all of their monster-related problems were solved. 

However, all three boys were convinced that if Luke looked into Will’s future, they’d know for certain if their troubles had resurfaced or not. Luke, on the other hand, hated the idea. 

“You know that I cannot control what I see, right? There’s a good chance that I won’t see anything about this Mind Flayer thing. A-And there’s always a chance that I could see something really bad.” 

“But,” Lucas interjected. “You might not see anything bad either. I mean, you saw Max’s future and there wasn’t anything bad in hers, right?” Luke said nothing, chewing down hard on the inside of his cheek. Lucas sat up a little straighter in the armchair. “Luke, right?” 

Luke sighed and replied, “The future is…tricky.” 

“If you saw something bad in her future, or if you saw something bad in Will’s, you gotta tell us. That’s the deal.” 

“Deal?” Luke questioned. “What deal?” 

“You’re a party member,” Mike reminded him. “Friends don’t lie.” If there wasn’t the threat of a monster from another dimension that loomed in the near future, Luke would have made some snide comment about how Mike had lied to El about his nana being sick, but he refrained from starting another argument.

“Telling people what could happen in their future can drive them insane. And it could change their future, sometimes for the worse,” Luke explained, but he felt guilty at the look of concern pinched on Lucas’s face regarding Max. “But Max…as far as I have seen, seems to be okay in her future.” 

Max’s future was tricky; it was always tricky when Luke accidentally touched someone and saw their future unintentionally. The contact was broken too fast and it left him floating in the strange place between their future and the emptiness of what El called the void. In that case, a good majority of the future he saw didn’t stick in his mind. Instead, they came back to him in the form of fragmented dreams. That was how he’d been deciphering Max’s future. He hadn’t made out much of anything that night she grabbed his hand, but the visions had come back to him in pieces over the past couple of months. He knew there was still more to uncover, but he hadn’t told her any of what he saw for the same reason he had just told Will; it was dangerous.

Lucas shifted in his seat uncomfortably. “That doesn’t really make me feel any better.” 

“Guys, focus,” Mike snapped. “Will you do this or not?” 

Luke didn’t want to. He hated his ability; it was a curse to know such things about the world. Being able to see the future with no guarantee that you could change it was not a “superpower.” He couldn’t fling objects across the room with a simple stare. He couldn’t snap his fingers and blow a fuse or cause a town-wide power outage. He couldn’t create an illusion and screw with people’s minds. And he couldn’t illuminate even the darkest of situations. All Luke could do was see what was often the inevitable. 

Even with all of that in mind, Luke was a party member. The group of kids had let him and Leia join their little club and they had made a promise to look out for one another. A party member required assistance, and Luke felt like he couldn’t turn away. 

“Fine,” he sighed. “I’ll do it, but I can’t promise that I’ll tell you everything I see.” 

Will nodded in quick agreeance. “That’s fine. I rather not go insane.” 

Luke held out his hand to Will. “Ready?” 

“Ready.” 

The second Will’s hand grabbed a hold of Luke’s, he felt himself get pulled away from his body. His mind absorbed him, shoving him into a free-floating blur of futures that buzzed in different frequencies. Holding onto Will allowed Luke to stay tethered to him and focus on the storm of futures that swarmed around him in a dizzying display.

It was similar to standing in the eye of a hurricane when Luke entered the space. He stood in the inky blackness of the void while scenes and figures danced around him, bleeding together. It was always a stab in the dark when he tried to pluck a scene to enter; he never knew what he was going to get. With Will, he let himself be guided towards a scene that stood out from the others. Once his focus was zeroed in on a particular scene, he was able to shift the entire storm around him into nothing but background noise and allowed his chosen scene to play out before his eyes. 

Someone stood in front of Will, but Luke could only see the back of them. Will looked a little bit older, but not by much. His hair was cut a little shorter, less shaped in his usual bowl cut. There was a bloodstain on the collar of Will’s shirt and a cut across his cheek. Tears shined in his eyes as he spoke to the person in front of him, but Luke couldn’t make out the words; oftentimes, Luke was unable to hear conversations. All he could see was Will’s mouth move and his chin tremble. 

Luke stepped around the two figures to see who Will was speaking to, and he was met with the distressed expression of Mike. He too looked a little older, more worn and beat up similar to Will. He held his hands in tight fists at his sides. 

The vague setting behind the two boys looked to be a bedroom, but it was blurry and unstable as the vision started to break apart, fracturing like shattered glass. The vision pulled him, but Luke wasn’t sure why if it was only Mike and Will speaking. But just before the scene slipped away completely, Mike raised his shaking hands and hastily grabbed the sides of Will’s face, both of them leaning forward, and then it was gone. 

He readied himself to be pulled toward another scene, but the storm of figures and futures bled together until it was impossible for him to latch onto one at random. He couldn’t see anything, which was highly unusual. 

Panic struck him, quick and hot as he felt himself sink down, down, down. The void spun, colors and voices blinding and defeating. His body felt suspended in a free fall, terrifying weightlessness, until he crashed into the inky black ground, suddenly completely engrossed in the dark nothingness of the void.

Scrambling to his feet, Luke breathed heavily but air refused to fill his lungs as quickly as he needed it to. He squeezed his eyes closed and tried to connect himself back to his body and disconnect his physical hand from Will’s to break himself out, but he couldn’t. The tether he had to his body and to Will was somewhere far away, just beyond his grasp. Luke tried to scream in hopes that his voice would find its way back to his physical mouth, alerting the boys that something was wrong and getting them to separate him from Will, but his screams only bounced through nothingness, landing on no one's ears but his own. 

He could not feel anything. His hands and feet tingled with an odd numbness; it felt as if he wasn’t there at all. The only feeling he possessed was an increasing pain that beat against his skull in thick waves. The pain grew, blowing up like a balloon as he tried screaming again but it all was useless.

The tingling spread until the void gave away, again, sending him into another awful free fall into nothingness. He had never lost his grip like that before; he had never been pulled so far away that he could not find his way back. His lungs burned and his head throbbed. It felt like someone had their hands wrapped tightly around his throat, squeezing, while another set of hands latched onto his ankles and dragged him under layers of darkness more intense than anything his eyes had ever borne witness to. 

All perceptions of time were lost inside the void; Luke already knew that. But his free fall felt excruciating long until his body smacked against something hard and solid. With a strangled grasp of fresh air, he coughed violet and propped himself up on his elbows. He was no longer inside the void, but he wasn’t in Mike’s basement either. 

Luke struggled to his feet before he dragged his eyes around his new surroundings. He was in some kind of shed, used for storage mostly. The building was small, covered in a layer of dust, and illuminated by a single lightbulb suspended by a single wire to the ceiling. Somewhere outside the shed, a dog barked and rapid footsteps approached. Luke backed up into the corner, watching and listening closely to what he was witnessing. 

The door swung open with enough force to make Luke jump, and in rushed Will. But it was not the Will that Luke knew nor was it the Will that Luke would eventually know. No, that version of Will was impossible for him to see. That version of Will was younger. He stood short and skinny, zipped up in a vest, and cheeks flushed in the dim light. Yet, despite how small and youthful Will looked, he wasted no time grabbing a shotgun off the wall and loaded it almost rhythmically, despite his trembling hands. 

Luke couldn’t understand what was happening; he had always been cursed with visions of the future. His ability was the reason for the tattoo on his wrist and the artwork that covered his bedroom. But standing there, inside the shed of a younger Will, Luke knew that something was wrong, very, very wrong. 

Will was out of breath and his face streaked with tears. He aimed the shotgun at the closed door. Luke felt disoriented and impossibly dizzy; his brain spun trying to make sense of what he was seeing. 

Outside, a low, guttural sound caused the hair on the back of Luke’s neck to stand on end. The lightbulb burned brighter and brighter until it nearly obstructed Luke’s vision entirely. All he heard was a horrible, gut-wrenching scream break from Will’s lips. 

Luke couldn’t help but mirror Will’s scream. His brain felt set ablaze and every nerve inside his body was pricked with a hot sensation of fear. He was brought to his knees, covering his ears as the lightbulb exploded. 

Then, like a rubber band snapping back to its true form, Luke’s eyes flew open to see that he was back in Mike’s basement. A wheeze burst from his tight chest as he struggled to breathe in reality. Will, Mike, and Lucas all blurred together in front of him. Blood dripped down his nose and onto his borrowed shirt. 

“What is it? What happened? What did you see?” Mike asked in a rushed, panicked breath.

Luke’s tongue was heavy in his mouth and little black spots dotted his vision. “I-I…” He couldn’t form the words before darkness took over his vision and his body, exhausted, gave out. All three boys shot out their hands and grabbed a hold of him by the fabric of his shirt before he hit the ground. 

“Shit,” Lucas muttered. 

“Careful,” Mike said, grabbing a pillow from the couch and placing it on the food behind Luke. They lowered him to the ground so that he lay on his back. Mike plucked a handful of tissues from the coffee table before he held him to Luke’s bleeding nose with a string of concerned curses. 

…

White walls and floors boxed in Seven. She found herself in the middle of a hall that seemed to stretch for miles in either direction, impossible to escape no matter how long you ran. The hall grew endlessly, trapping her under its fluorescent lights and stench of bleach. 

Peering down at herself, she was dressed in a paper gown and bare feet. She did not swim in the gown; it fit her figure more than she recalled. The fabric fell to her knees and the sleeves did not reach her elbows like they once did. Hair tickled her neck. She ran her hand along the top of her head, confused when she wasn’t met with a buzzed head or slightly outgrown, uneven locks. Her hair tumbled down just past her shoulders. 

Seven turned slightly, meeting the glass panel on the wall that normally looked into an observation room, but she was met with a large mirror that forced her reflection to stare back at her. She expected to see a younger version of herself, who she had been while living trapped inside the Lab. But it wasn’t Seven who stood in the mirror, it was eighteen-year-old Sunshine, with outgrown hair and a sun-kissed complexion. Only she wore her Lab uniform, complete with a blood stain under her nose. 

There was something deeply more horrifying about seeing herself all grown up, but still inside the Lab. No longer did she look like the fragile, hopeless version of herself. It was too real and caused bile to rise in her throat as sickness rocked her gut. 

A scream erupted from down the stretch of the hall, somewhere around a corner she could hardly see due to the distance. It began as a high-pitched yell, one cemented into her mind that would sometimes ring, reminding her of what little she recalled from that night. But the scream morphed, changed shape as she found herself running toward it. The familiar howl of Ivy became one of another voice she recognized. 

Sunshine’s heart beat heavily but quickly inside her chest as she sprinted down the corridor, her bare feet sticking to the floor. The stench of something foul pricked her nose. She was used to the smell of blood; the irony scent and taste were as normal to her as the taste of minted gum or sweet tea her mom made a pitcher of every week. But what she smelled was different; it was the metallic scent of fresh blood, but it was overwhelming, violently assaulting her senses. 

She remembered the scream and the scent, but it had been long since she thought about it. The memory had stayed dormant in the back of her mind, doing her the favor of not springing forward. 

As she reached the corner after what felt like hours of running, listening to the lower-pitched scream get closer and the smell of blood worse, the noise stopped. Sunshine’s heart stopped momentarily with it as she saw a little handprint on the sharp corner of the wall, but she had yet to peek around the other side. The handprint of a child, someone tiny, slid down the corner. Her stomach rolled but she didn’t allow herself to turn around. She needed to know the source of the scream that went from one she knew too well, to one she almost knew but couldn’t place. 

Taking in a breath, gagging on the smell, Sunshine stepped forward and braced herself as she looked around the corner. 

Her world stopped, similar to how she remembered, even in the foggy pool of her memories of the Lab that faded with the walls her mind built around her real-life nightmares in hopes of keeping her sane a little while longer. 

It had once been Ivy she saw around the corner when Seven was a couple of feet shorter and groggy off of medication she had been given to fight a sickness that put her on bed rest. It had been Ivy’s image she couldn’t erase, even though everything else that occurred that day came up blank. Ivy on the ground, limbs twisted in a horrible fashion that made Seven’s bone ache under her skin. She had remembered Ivy, bloodied eyes and all. Sunshine had memorized the way her fingers twitched, and head lulled. A shuttered, struggling breath heaving in Ivy’s broken chest. 

Back then, Seven had run to her, held her hand, and sobbed something terrible, rattling the walls of the Lab. Ivy had used her last breaths to speak to her. “Tried…Save…You…Can’t…Run.” The words were forever stained in Sunshine’s mind. Ivy tried to save her. Ivy always tried to save her. But Sunshine never got the chance to return the favor. She hadn’t even seen her to death. She tried. Sunshine clung to Ivy’s body, bloodied and broken in nearly every way possible, eyes blank as tears of blood seeped from them. But a set of hands wound their way around Seven’s torso, peeling her off the ground. 

But there was no one around, and it wasn’t Ivy’s broken body on the ground; it was Steve’s. It wasn’t the pure agony of grief that she recalled when finding Ivy’s body, it was something else that washed over in a bloody, thick title wave that completely engulfed her. She was drowning, gasping for air that refused to enter her lungs. 

Sunshine, grown up now but still in that godforsaken place, dressed in a hospital gown and staring at her best friend lying exactly like Ivy had. His eyes were blank, devoid of life already, and his pale skin streaked with tears of blood in horrible stripes down the length of his face. His arms and legs twisted, broken on the ground. 

The pain that exploded in her chest was unbearable, hot and cold tremors ripped through with a violent force as her knees buckled and she hit the ground only a foot away from him. She didn’t know how, but her mind willed her body to move, to crawl forward until she was directly beside him. Her trembling fingers splayed out against his chest, but there was nothing to be felt underneath it; no heartbeat drummed inside his chest, and she felt her own heart shatter, fracture into a million little pieces along the red tiles of Hawkins Lab. 

No one, ever again, was supposed to go back to that place; she always meant herself and her siblings when she thought that. Never, ever did she think she’d see one of the people she had grown to adore in Hawkins under the same fluorescent lights. That thought had never crossed her mind because it was too much to imagine; the possibility of that seemed impossible, even before the place was shut down. She knew Will, Mike, Hopper, and Joyce had visited the place after Dr. Owens took it over; Nancy and Jonathan had visited it as well when they threatened to leak what actually happened to Barb. But this was different. Sunshine wasn’t there when they visited. She wasn’t there when Leia and El returned to close the Gate. She wouldn’t allow her mind to imagine any of them there; to her, that didn’t happen because even though they all got out unscathed, it was unfathomable to her to picture them in the same halls she walked. 

It was impossible to see Steve there, dead on the floor just as Ivy had been, but there he was. Sunshine sobbed, her whole body shaking violently. 

There was blood on the walls, trailing down what looked like the entire length of the hall, but she couldn’t see far past her tears. A scream bubbled up in her throat but it got stuck, trapped in her mouth as she dug her fingernails into the fabric of his shirt. Then, it happened just as it had back then. Finally, a pair of hands appeared, attached to someone she couldn’t make out through her tears. 

The person who appeared behind her hauled her up from the ground as if she had still been a little girl. She kicked and screamed, even though she had been expecting it. 

“I’m sorry. I’m so sorry,” they kept repeating, but their words did nothing to soothe her. 

“Steve! Steve, please!” Sunshine screamed into the quiet hall. The person never stopped. They turned corners and kept their gaze straight forward, not daring to meet her gaze. “Steve!” Her throat was sore, and her yells were hardly louder than a whisper. 

“Wake up!” But he didn’t. 

But she did, and with a violent start. She gasped for air as tears streamed down her face, tasty salty on her tongue. 

Sunshine was in her bedroom, which was suddenly too dark. She fumbled for her bedside lamp, switching it on with shaking hands. For a long moment, she let herself cry silently until her eyes stung but the pain brought her back to reality. She was home; she was safe. Steve nor Ivy’s blood coated her fingers. But Ivy was still dead. She didn’t know about Steve. 

The rational part of her brain told her he was alive, tucked away at home and sleeping off their spy craft. But her nightmare-induced fear overruled the rational part of her brain. The image of his body twisted on the ground was all she could think about, which caused her to fear that her dream had been more than that. She needed to know that his heart was still beating; she needed to know he was alive, or else she feared she’d lose her mind completely.

Sunshine hastily wiped her tears and clambered across her messy floor until she reached her desk, where her landline lived. She punched in Steve’s number, falling into her desk chair as her legs shook almost as badly as her hands. After a few agonizing moments, the shrill ringing stopped and was replaced by a voice that melted away only some of her fears. 

“Hello?” Steve’s voice greeted her groggily. Sunshine let out a sigh of relief, but it came out as half a cry and half a hiccup. 

“Steve,” she breathed out. 

“Sunshine? Is everything okay?” He was okay. He was alive. He was right there on the other line. Yet, her chest was tight with anxiety. It made her nauseous and hot like she was running a fever. 

She swallowed thickly, wincing at the rawness of her throat from crying. “Y-Yeah. Everything okay.” Glancing at the clock on her nightstand, she realized it was nearing three in the morning. “Sorry, did I wake you up?” Guilt seeped into her chest too, and she felt on the verge of crying again. 

“No,” he rasped out, lying she bet. “Are you okay? Did something happen?” 

Softly closing her eyes and leaning her head back against her chair, she tried to even her voice out enough not to worry him. “I’m okay.” 

Steve was quiet for a moment before he said, “But did something happen? You’re freaking me out, Sunshine. Is something going on?” 

The sound of Ivy’s screams melting into his still buzzed in her ears. Her throat burned even worse as the urge to cry became stronger. “I just had a nightmare,” she admitted. “It’s stupid. I just…You’re okay, right?” She needed to hear him say it. 

“That’s not stupid,” Steve said. “I’m okay. Promise.” 

“Okay,” she whispered, exhaustion crashing over her, but she knew sleep was out of the picture. “Good. I’m sorry for calling so late.”

“Are you sure you’re alright?” 

“Yeah,” she lied. “Promise. I’ll talk to you tomorrow.” Before he could even bid her goodbye, she hung up and let a shuttered breath slip through her lips. 

Nightmares always left her with an array of awful emotions tightly twisted up inside her chest, but that one was worse than what she had become used to. It had been a while since she had been that shaken up. 

Sunshine thought back to the conversation with her parents; maybe she wasn’t as healed as she thought she was. Maybe she was lying to herself too. She had told them that the nightmares had gone away, and while that wasn’t true, up until that night they had been manageable. Out of every awful thing she had seen and relived inside her mind, that had to be one of the worst. Her past held her hostage in her dream, and now they were dragging in her present. That didn’t seem fair.

Wandering back to her bed, Sunshine lay down with the light still on. Minutes ticked by as she stared at her ceiling and the little glow-in-the-dark stars that her dad had helped make into constellations. She didn’t know exactly how long she lay there until her swimming thoughts were interrupted by a sharp knock at her window. She startled upright, fear enclosing around her all over again. 

Slowly, she crept toward the window and curled her fingers around her drawn curtains, pulling it back just enough to see what made that noise. Into view came a familiar face, and Sunshine’s whole body untensed before she quickly pulled open the window. The soft smiling face of Steve looked back at her as he climbed through the window as gracefully as he could. 

“What are you doing here?” He was soaked from the rain, void of a coat, and dressed in pajamas. Sunshine grabbed a towel she had left hanging over the back of her desk chair and handed it to him. 

He dried his hair and shrugged. “Couldn’t sleep, and I figured you couldn’t either.” 

With a sigh, slumped back into her bed, feeling impossibly heavy and flushed with nearly every bad emotion in the book. He sat beside her, not too close but within arm's reach. “Do you wanna talk about it?” he asked. 

She didn’t look at him and instead kept her gaze on a pile of clothing on the floor. “You didn’t need to come all the way here.” 

He disagreed with a simple shake of his head. “I get it.” His voice was quieter than normal, but it still held a warmness to it. “I get nightmares sometimes too. They’re always…rough, to say the least. And it’s like I can’t function until I know everyone’s alright afterward.”

When she had nightmares of their monster encounters, she’d walkie the party first thing in the morning with some lame excuse to check up on them. She had a feeling they saw through her, but they always answered, no matter what, with little jokes or jabs, anything to allow her to hear their voices. She'd make an excuse to see Steve or Nancy or Jonathan too, ensuring that they were still there. 

Another lump formed in her throat, or maybe it was the same one that just didn’t go away, knowing she’d cry again before the sun rose. “They’re usually memories. Making me relive…whatever happened,” she began to explain. “This one was like that too, but it was more than that.” Tears welled up in her eyes and closed them in hopes of willing them away, but when she did, there Steve was again, on the floor of the Lab. A sob broke through, against her will, and she buried her head in her hands. 

“Hey,” Steve whispered as he placed a hand on her back. “It’s alright; it’s over now. You’re safe, Sunshine.” 

She shook her head, feeling the knot inside her chest pull tighter and tighter. “No,” she cried. “I-It wasn’t me who…I-I…” Each word burned in her throat, making it hard to get out. 

Steve rubbed soothing circles across her back. “You don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to.” But she did. She needed to talk to someone before all of her fears and memories buried her alive. 

“Ivy,” she managed to say, a strangled breath leaving her mouth after the girl’s name left her lips. Sunshine pulled her hands down from her face and wiped her wet palms on her blanket. She was sure her face was red and blotchy, eyes bloodshot and rimmed with dark circles. “Ivy. I don’t know what happened. I wasn’t there. I should have been there. She was all alone. It…It was terrible.” 

Ivy who loved her. Ivy who promised to protect her. But when Ivy needed Sunshine when she needed someone to help her and protect her from what or whoever killed her that night, Sunshine was dizzy and bedridden. By the time she heard the scream, it was too late. Maybe if she had been faster and escaped the clutches of the infirmary a few seconds earlier, she could have saved Ivy from a broken fate. 

A short burst of memories came to the forefront of Sunshine’s mind. She stood up, taken aback by them as they danced around her brain. “Everything was going wrong,” she recalled. “That night, everything was so…so wrong, everywhere. I don’t know why. I don’t remember anything. But she was right there; she was so close but I-I was too late. I found her…s-she was almost dead. She told me to run but I couldn’t leave her. Someone took me away. I tried to go back to her. I tried, I did.” She didn’t know what happened after Ivy died, right there in the hall, broken body and vacant eyes. The weeks, even months following she lived in a daze, floating outside her body and stuck in the infirmary until she could hardly remember what Ivy looked like that night.

“Sunshine…” Steve said, but his voice trailed off at a loss for words. He didn’t know what to say; there was nothing to say. 

“She called me that first, you know.” Her tears grew heavier, making her room a blur of warm light. “She gave me that name.” And it meant the world to one little girl who thought she was alone in the world. Ivy called her Sunshine and taught her about the stars in the sky and the people waiting to rescue them from the Lab. She kissed Sunshine’s cheeks and held her hand when her fears kept her awake at night. “And she died alone. She died and I could save her.” Just as she couldn’t save Steve in her dream. 

Whatever piece of thread that held her together that night fell alongside her words, tumbling to the ground and leaving her suspended by nothing, weightless in her grief. Her legs threatened to give out underneath her, but Steve jumped from his seat on her bed and engulfed her in his arms. She buried her head in his chest, sobbing into the fabric of his shirt. Her arms wrapped around him, holding onto him with the fear that he’d slip away as Ivy had. 

Steve drew them back to the bed but didn’t let go of her. “You were just a kid,” he said, speaking gently into the crown of her head. “Nothing that happened to anyone there, nothing that happened period, was your fault. And I promise nothing like that is ever going to happen again.” He couldn’t promise that, though. 

But he was alive right then, in her arms. He was breathing a speaking; she’d keep it that way. She wouldn’t let him meet the same fate as Ivy; Sunshine wouldn’t survive that a second time around. All of them- the party, Nancy, Jonathan, Joyce, Hopper, and her siblings- she would keep alive. Sunshine would meet her own fate before she let them meet theirs. 

For a while, they stayed like that, on the edge of the bed holding onto each other tightly. It felt slightly reminiscent of the night last November when she sat outside the grassy yard of the Lab in a fit of tears and the overwhelming fear that her entire would disappear all over again. But Steve had been there, wiped her tears with a certain tenderness that had still been foreign to her. 

After Ivy, it had been Sunshine’s responsibility to wipe away tears from her siblings and party members’ eyes when they were scared. It was her responsibility to be brave, but in her bedroom on that rainy night, she didn’t feel such a burden on her shoulders, because someone was making her feel safe again. Of course, she had her parents who would always try to protect her, but they couldn’t keep her safe from the things they didn’t know.

Steve came with a stark set of differences than anyone else in Sunshine’s life. He was her best friend and a boy who had long promised to stick by her side, even when he was scared. 

Once her sobs had subsided and returned to swallowed breathing, she lifted her head just slightly, finally meeting his gaze. “Thank you,” she whispered, meaning it with every ounce of her heart. He smiled lightly, a little sadly. 

“You’ve got my back and I’ve got yours, remember,” he replied. He stifled a yawn, blinking away a dreariness in his eyes. 

“You can stay here tonight. If you want,” she offered, not wanting to let him go after her nightmare, scared something would happen. 

He tilted his head slightly, pieces of his damp hair sticking to his forehead. “Do you want me to stay?” 

“I really don’t want to be alone,” she admitted, her chest still aching. 

He let go of her with only one hand before he brushed a few loose strands of hair behind her ear. “Then I’ll stay.” Stay for the night, for the rest of the summer, maybe even forever. Sunshine hoped he meant forever, however forever looked. 

Tagged. @sattlersquarry , @leptitlu , @drunkengodsofslaughter

[snappedsky]

ROTTMNT: You Are Not Alone

The war against the Krang concludes.

*Reblogs appreciated*

--

Chapter 19

The gravity surrounding the portal is warped, causing busted building pieces to float. Across these large fragments, Krang leaps around as he’s attacked by Raphael, Donatello, and Michelangelo.

Raphael sticks to him like glue, swinging deadly punches. Krang blocks and dodges them as he leaps backwards. Donatello flies up overhead and fires a bunch of missiles. The large eye on Krang’s suit glows red before firing a laser that destroys them all. Michelangelo comes up behind him and swings a dozen mystic chains. Krang’s tail whips at them, knocking them away.

He senses another burst of energy and looks down just as a blue portal appears beneath his feet and he falls through it. He comes out in the middle of the sky, floating in the warped gravity, just in front of Leonardo. He swings his swords and Krang blocks with his arms. Then Leonardo teleports them both right in front of Raphael, who punches the Krang across the sky.

“Donnie, Mikey,” Leonardo demands, “there’s still the other two Krang. One is in the ship and the other is on the ground. Go get get them. I will not allow a single one of these assholes to be free.”

“Yup,” Donatello nods.

“On it,” Michelangelo chimes and the two of them fly off, Donatello towards the ship and Michelangelo to the ground

“Raph, you stick with me,” Leonardo orders.

“Just like old times, huh,” Raphael grins.

“Oh, it’s been too long, big brother,” he smiles back and the two chase after the Krang.

As Donatello approaches the Technodrome, he creates a large, mystic saw blade. It slices through the fleshy wall and he flies through into the ship. He quickly finds the third Krang, struggling to free himself from tentacles bound to the wall. Donatello smirks with bewildered amusement.

Meanwhile, on the ground, Splinter, April, Cassandra, and Casey race frantically through the streets. Hot on their heels is the Krang infected train, with the Krang sister riding on its head.

“That’s right! Run, vermin, run!” she cackles.

Splinter and the kids don’t have to time to think as they dive and scramble around corners. The train roars as it lunges for them. They can only keep running, fearfully watching over their shoulders as it closes in.

[firedragon1321]

It's Kieran hours again. Today I wanted to ramble about him, and also Carmine being an asshole. Spoilers for Teal Mask and possible spoilers for Indigo Disk (based on leaks) below.

So it's already obvious that Carmine's mistreatment of Kieran plays into his insecurity at the start of the game. The player is also at fault (hiding the truth about Ogerpon from him, spending time with only Carmine, and turning the other cheek to his mistreatment, amongst other things). Note when I refer to "the player" here, I mean the in-game avatar, not the actual human player. Others have agreed that we needed the choice to avoid hurting Kieran's feelings.

As an extension of that, we also needed the choice to confront Carmine. I know we couldn't because Teal Mask leads directly into Indigo Disk, and Pokemon games are linear by nature. But as a grown-ass adult who recognized the toxic dynamic between the siblings, I wanted to take Kieran and hide on Oni Mountain.

And it was all little things adding up to one oppressive hammer of discouragement. Constantly brushing him off, treating him as unimportant, etc. This behavior of Carmine's isn't exclusive to Kieran- the player is treated like shit until they earn her respect. But the player is from out of town. Kieran had to deal with this behavior for his entire life.

Carmine isn't evil like Lusamine (debatable due to Nihilego poison) or Ghetsis (I will get to these two in the readmore). But her behavior is still unacceptable. It's what made Kieran feel so small to begin with.

When he's finally given a chance at friendship and kindness, Carmine snatches the player, too (from his perspective). When he has a chance to catch Ogerpon, the player does instead, and he has to watch. At this point, the player is on Carmine's "side", and an extension of her lifelong psychological control over her brother.

There are rumors/leaks that a Pokemon may be controlling Kieran to a degree- similar to Lusamine- as the situation worsens. But even without this behind the scenes action, Kieran's behavior is understandable. He had two chances at friendship, snatched away by the girl who thinks he amounts to nothing and the apparent lapdog at her side.

So why bother with friendship at all? Why not become stronger and stronger, and bowl down everything in your way? It worked for the people who hurt you...

I want to veer off into other games with similar plot beats as a point of comparison. I put it under a readmore for people who don't care and for length. I'll probably add a reblog after Indigo Disk to conclude this ramble.

While Sun/Moon did a great job at portraying abuse, it didn't do a great job at resolving it. Lillie forgives Lusamine, Gladion is left to flounder, and Lusamine is resolved of increasing amounts of blame with each adaption. USUM and the anime make this issue progressively worse, with the anime barely addressing Lusamine's true nature, save one episode where it's treated as her "caring too much". I made an entire post about Gladion because this issue pisses me off. While Lillie's forgiveness of Lusamine makes sense for her character, it shouldn't be required of Gladion, Guzma, or any of her other pawns.

In Black and White, Ghetsis is not only called out on his shitty behavior, but N isn't obligated to forgive him. This remains true in all adaptations. Once Ghetsis drops the act, the game is bold enough to call it "abuse" without using the actual word. It understands that what happened to N is disgusting and horrible. In many adaptations- like Pokemon Generations- N is able to confront him- and by extension, his feelings- directly.

I also feel like Kieran is Wally if Wally wasn't a pushover. The player crushes his dreams of battling in a gym at his uncle's command. While his health is a concern, there is literally no reason he can't battle the gym. He only has Ralts and will likely lose. But he's prevented from even trying- by the person he considers a friend, no less. Wally doesn't show up again until near the endgame...where the player crushes his dreams again.

Wally takes it all with a smile. Kieran doesn't.

For Kieran specifically, I feel like they'll go the Sun/Moon route over the Black/White route. Which concerns me. If Kieran apologizes to Carmine even if he did something bad in Indigo Disk- I will throw up. He doesn't have to forgive her, or even the player.

[episodicnostalgia]

Star Trek: The Next Generation, 112 (Jan. 16, 1988) - “Datalore”

Written by: Robert Lewin & Gene Roddenberry Directed by: Rob Bowman

Episode Breakdown

Data gets an origin story!

The episode begins with the Enterprise’s arrival at the colony where Data was discovered. We’re told that colonists all died under mysterious circumstances before Data was activated; as such he’s unable to shed any light on the matter (Presumably the ship that found Data never had time to investigate). Picard figures they might as well take a look around since they’re in the neighbourhood, because what’s the worst that could happen? While on the planet’s surface, the away team discover that Data is the creation of Noonien Soong, a brilliant scientist who disappeared after a failed-first-attempt at creating a positronic brain; since that is precisely the type of brain Data possesses, the team rightly concludes that Noonien finally succeeded in achieving his goal. The team also discover a second android that looks exactly like Data, albeit disassembled.  Since Data is understandably curious, Riker agrees to take Data’s twin back to the Enterprise to rebuild him.

In a twist that may shock you, Data’s long-lost twin (named Lore) turns out to be evil; he’s also capable of greater emotional expression, including the ability to lie convincingly.  It turns out Lore was Noonien’s first android who, prior to being disassembled, summoned a giant crystalline entity from space to consume the colonists.  Somewhere along the way, Noonien figured out that his new creation might be a raging psychopath and took Lore apart before building Data (and also before getting eaten).  Now free to roam the ship, Lore inevitably betrays and deactivates Data, with the intention of signalling his old Crystaline pal to come eat the Enterprise crew.  However, since Wesley is (annoyingly) the most amazing boy in the universe, he’s able to see through Lore’s pretense. With the help of Dr. Crusher, Wesley gets Data back online just in time for the two Androids to duke it out until he can beam Lore into space, (where Picard presumably decides to leave him without any further discussion).

Thoughts

So far ‘Datalore’ has been the best episode of the season. We get some decent world building, a good intro to Data’s evil twin, and nice dose of tension and atmosphere. What’s not to love? Even the moments that feel dated (and there are many) all add to the episode’s charm. There are still a handful of times I had to roll my eyes at specific bits of dialogue, but if the ending had been a little stronger I almost would have considered giving this an extra half-star.

3.5 stars (out of 5)

Stray observations:

Picard’s (mostly) not an asshole: That traumatizing holodeck adventure from last episode must have been more relaxing than expected. For the most part he seems to be in an uncharacteristically encouraging mood towards his crew.

Except Wesley. Picard really lets the kid have it this week. He must still be mad about that time Wesley got impaled and then didn’t die a couple episodes back.

There are some rather pointed scenes where Picard and Co. go out of their way to be exceptionally reasonable and mature about a variety of potentially difficult or awkward subjects (mostly regarding the nature Data and Lore’s sentiency/creation); it would be fine except that they keep commenting on it. My guess is that it’s an example of Gene Roddenberry’s influence, who was known for wanting to avoid depictions of interpersonal conflict between the crew. But personally, I like to think this is a result of HR calling out Picard for his less-than-cordial behaviour from previous episodes, and so now the captain is on his best behaviour, and everyone is acting like it “never even bothered me that much anyway, I heard other people were complaining, but not me.”

Okay I hate to say it but… ugh, Wesley was right. After deactivating Data, Lore masquerades as his brother.  The crew test Lore with questions he wouldn’t know the answer to, but they do it in the most easy-to-evade way.  It’s pretty unintentionally funny, but means the adults were missing what any child should have been able to (and evidently DID) see.  

HAHA! Wesley saves the ship and Picard is like “fine, you can go back to the bridge, now beat it!” Zero apologies of any kind. Excellent. It’s as if even the writers were pissed that Wesley saved the day, and honestly I get that.

[theladybarnes]

INEVITABILITY: CHAPTER ONE

“I assure you, brother, the sun will shine on us again.”

▸ summary: life takes a turn again, when an old friend brings bad news ▸ characters: tony stark, peter parker, bruce banner, stephen strange, wong ft. former avengers ▸ word count: 7.5k         ▸ warnings: angst, canon violence,  ▸ series masterlist

FEBRUARY (2017)

 The light sound of Tony’s foot tapping against the wood of the coffee table was the only noise in the room that morning. For about twenty minutes the two of you had come to a stand still in the conversation that turned suddenly heated. 

 Dr. Daniels sat across from the two of you, pen writing rapidly onto her pad as she analyzed the two of you. 

 It was about a month into the new year that Pepper demanded the two of you rip off the band-aids and go see a therapist together. At first, she attempted for you both to go separately but Tony suggested this was a family problem that should be dealt with as a family. Little did he know you’d both have completely different opinions on the matter. 

 “So, Mr. Stark. If I may just reiterate what you’ve said. You believe that your sister should move on, correct?”

 Tony’s foot stopped tapping against the leg of the coffee table to look over at the doctor. A simple nod was all he gave in reply. Holding his tongue as to not be the first to break the silence. 

 “And by moving on, you want her to forget her feelings and reservations for her friend, and ex boyfriend.”

 Again he nodded. And while you hated to be the one to break the silence first, you couldn’t stand by to hear this nonsense again.

 “I think what Tony is forgetting is that I am not one of his AI projects and actually have feelings.”

 Dr. Daniels looked over to you, nodding her head for you to go on. 

 “I want to move on from Siberia as much as he does. God, I really do.” you sighed, looking down at your lap. “Not a day goes by where I’m not haunted by that fight.” There’s a little restriction on how much information you’ve both given her. But it’s enough so that she knows things turned physical. “But what he did Tony..”

 “It's unforgivable.” Tony spat suddenly. He must have been building up again in his silence, leaning forward on his knees to cover his face with his hands. “What he did was the worst thing any stupid boyfriend could do. And you want to forgive him?”

 “But it wasn’t him! We’ve been through this a thousand times!” you cried out, turning your body to face him again. “How can we blame him for something that was out of his control? There was no choice for him. He was..trapped.”

 Tony scoffed at that, shaking his head at you as he continued to look away. “He was trapped for how long until your other ex boyfriend triggered his freedom? And what, he didn’t remember murdering dear Ma and Pa whenever you two were together. You know, you the daughter of said murdered couple?”

 “Mr. Stark, it’s unfair for you to use that knowledge against her when she was unaware of the situation.” Dr. Daniels tried to explain. But Tony simply held a hand up, stopping that train of thought. 

 “I’m not blaming her, Doc. As always, the blame always falls back to them.” He glanced at you for the first time since you two came, a small frown tugged at his face. “These two men used her love and innocence and just..betrayed her. My own colleague, my f-friend..he lied to me too.”

 You reached a hand out to rest against Tony’s arm. Feeling the familiar ache in your chest come back from before. In a way, he was right about the betrayal. But no matter how hard you tried to hate on either man, you couldn’t.

 “Be honest, Tony..would we have ever reacted normally to this?”

 He brought a hand up to rub against his beard, scratching at his cheek for a moment as he contemplated the answer. “No.” he concluded. “But it wouldn’t have hurt as much if he actually told me. If he had the damn balls to talk to me instead of Baron Von Asshole displaying that damn video.”

 “Video?” Dr. Daniels asked.

 “Confidential.” you both said at the same time. Despite it being judgment free, there were some things you couldn’t be descriptive about. 

 Focusing back at the conversation, you tried to sympathize with your brother. In a way, it was always going to be easier for you to lean into forgiving. While that reason was because of HYDRA, it still was a fact. Tony, on the other hand, knew them. He was raised by them and it meant something more. 

 “I want to move on..but I want to do all that with him..” you admitted softly. “Romania was the first time in a long time I truly felt..happy.”

 Tony sighed, not happy to hear that from you. But you continued on anyway. 

 “I know that if we could just talk to him and give him the chance to speak that maybe..maybe we might feel better about it all.” You sighed, feeling the tears prick at your cheeks. “We just attacked him and..God, I can’t get his face out of my head.” 

 You don’t have to look up to know both people are looking at you right now. 

 “..what face?” Tony asked warily. 

 “The face he made when I said I wasn’t going to find him again..it was always our safeguard.” Glancing over to Tony, you feel your bottom lip quiver. “It was a reassurance that I’d find him..even if he was gone up here.” You said pointing to the side of your head. “I wouldn’t give up and bring him back. And I just..I just told him no..”

 “Ms. Stark, you can blame yourself for cutting off that connection.” Dr. Daniels said, leaning forward. “In that moment, you said what you needed to say in order to protect yourself. In fact, I’d say it was also a way of standing your ground.” 

 “Protect myself from what? It only broke his heart.”

 “It protected your own heart, I’m afraid.”

 Tony gave a soft gasp, putting his face into his hands as he realized something on his own. The two of you look at each other worried before going back to Tony. 

 “Anything you’d like to share with the class, Tony?” You asked, poking at his arm. 

 He slowly pulled his hands away from his face. Looking a lot more tired than before. “You love the son of a bitch, don’t you?”

 The room turned completely silent. You find the words almost trapped in your throat. But you nod anyway, taking a small breath before speaking again. 

 “Yes, I love him.” 

 Instead of getting angry, Tony looks defeated. Like when one of the teams he was rooting for failed during baseball season. 

 “Let’s end on that note today. You guys covered a lot. You should get some rest.” 

 The two of you didn't move as she quickly gathered her files together. Only staring at each other as you both took in the recent confession. “I’d ask for you two to make up in other ways until our next session. But considering how stubborn you both are, I know there’s a chance you might continue the conversation when I leave.” Dr. Daniels said as she took her bag from the floor. “So I ask that you both remember each other’s feelings are valid, and just because one feels a certain way doesn’t mean they’re the bad guy. You’re both dealing with a brand new loss. You have to be there for one another.” 

 Her parting words are ignored as you focus on what she said. Dealing with a brand new loss. Was that what it was for you and Bucky now? A loss? Would this be a new thing in your life you have to recover from? Without him? 

 Tony was thankfully the one who was able to walk the therapist out. Giving her a small warning about confidentiality before closing the door. It was only until he stood by the doorway of the room that you picked your head up. Meeting his sad gaze. 

 “Is my life always gonna be full of losses?” You asked softly.

 The words made Tony visibly cringe. He quickly shook it off, moving to sit on the chair the therapist was so that he could look over at you better. “It doesn’t have to be.”

 “But how? E-even if we both wanted to make up with him..with everyone. They’re all gone.” You whimpered, feeling the familiar ache in your chest. “All my friends..Bucky..they’re gone. And I have to just accept that I’ve lost them?”

 Tony reached out to wipe at your face. Pushing away the tears you didn’t even realize were coming down. “I’m sorry, I wish..I wish I knew what to say.” 

 “Say that we can look for them..that we’ll find them and help fix this mess we all made!”

 “We? When did it turn into all of us when Steve decided to- Look, I’m done going in circles, Sprout.” Tony said, rubbing his temples. “Even if I wanted to, which I don’t know right now, Rogers and the rest of them made up their minds. I would have fought for your other friends but..they ran off. There’s not much I can do after that.” 

 You’re about to open your mouth when the sound of FRIDAY’s voice cuts in. 

 “Boss, Ms. Potts is waiting for the two of you at the main entrance. She says to remind you of your dinner plans.” 

 With that reminder, the two of you quiet up. Grabbing your coats as you head out of the main office. “I’m sorry I can’t understand how you feel, kid. Believe me. I want to.” Tony said once you two were in the elevator. “Give me time..I just..I need time.” 

 Nodding your head, you reached out and pulled your brother in your arms for a tight hug. 

 “I think time is all we have now..” you sighed, pulling away from him. The doors opened up revealing the main floor. Pepper greets the two of you happily and you pull on a brave face. Trying to keep your thoughts from going crazy. All while missing a pair of worried eyes watching you. 

 APRIL (2018)

 “Oh my God, did you see the recent CapWatch on twitter?”

 “No! I was busy all morning. What’s the update?”

 You keep your face down, staring down on the floor while you wait for the light to change. The two teens before you don’t seem to be aware of the volume of their voices. 

 “Well, just last week there were rumors of him in a pub somewhere in France. But the man looked too grizzly, and apparently only spoke French.”

 “That’s crazy! I mean, what if it’s him and they totally missed out on checking.”

 The light finally changed and to your dismay, the two girls kept going in the same direction towards your apartment. Making you frown a bit. You attempted to go around them, but with the sidewalk so crowded in the early afternoon, you can’t find a way to squeeze in.

 “Even if someone did find him, what exactly are they gonna do?”

 “Totally, it’s not like anyone would want to be the one to turn in Captain America.”

 The two girls turned down the street, leaving you to your thoughts as you made your way home. Pulling out your phone, you can’t help but open up your internet, typing in the current search you just learned about. 

 It’s been months and you’ve convinced yourself over and over again that you don’t need to search for them. For Bucky, Steve, all your friends. Because if you gave into that urge even for a second you knew it’d only end in pain.

 This was life now. You’d go out, act like a regular citizen, and go home.There was the irregular nights where you’d join your family for dinner. Or meet up secretly with Peter and see what it’s like to patrol the streets of New York (from a safe distance of course). But other than that, you would spend nights numbing the pain with wine, movies, and new security software that Tony requested you make for the compound. Never mind the fact that you could hardly step into the compound without feeling emotional. 

 This was life now, and you weren’t sure you were mentally ready to accept that. 

 Turning down the block of your street, you sighed as you walked up the familiar steps to your town house. The sound of your phone ringing kept going off in your pocket, making you grumble as you pushed in the number code for your door lock. 

 It was most likely Tony again. Wanting to call to check in or talk about the wedding or some weird dream he had recently. But with your head all out of wack, you choose to ignore it as you push inside your home. You had just closed the door behind you when a bright orange light shined into the room. 

 A small electrifying circle formed right in front of you before it opened up, revealing what looked like a giant portal in the middle of your foyer. 

 “What the hell!?” you gasped, frozen in place.

 A tall man with a perfectly trimmed beard stepped through the portal, holding his hands up as he gave you a tight lipped smile. “Ms.Stark.” he started, looking around your home briefly. “I’m here to- '' you don’t give him the chance to finish his sentence before you activate the band on your wrist, dragging the nanobots over your hand to create the gauntlet you always kept on you. 

 “Whoa!” he called out. The tip of his finger sparked up and you noticed a magical glow came to them. “I’m not here to hurt you!”

 “Chill out, Sprout.” called out a familiar voice. From the other side of the portal, Tony stuck his head out for you to see. “Merlin is with me.”

 You lower your weapon, pressing the wrist of the glove to retract the nanobots back into the regular wrist band. “What the hell is this?” you sighed, relieved that the danger was gone. “Who’s this guy?”

 “My name is Stephen Strange.” 

 You can’t help but chuckle at the name for a second. The man only looked exasperated at your reaction. A clear sign of annoyance on his face. 

 “Wait, you’re serious? That’s your name?”

 “We don’t have time for this.” He waved his hand over, sliding the portal past you until you were suddenly in a whole other room. It reminded you of a museum you had used to visit back in your childhood. Smelled like it too.

 “Where are we?”

 “You are at Sanctum Sanctorum, Miss Stark.” said an older voice. A man with a shaved head and stout body slowly stepped forward, bowing his head a bit in a quick greeting. “I’m afraid we have some grave news for you and your brother.”

 Tony stepped close to you, pulling you close to his side. 

 “What’s happened?” you asked softly.

 “Thanos is coming. And we need all the help we can get to stop him.”

 Bruce emerged out from behind Stephen, looking at you with a small smile. You pulled away from Tony to rush over and give him a hug. Happy to see his face after all this time. But the happiness is short lived, and you pull back enough to look at him worried.

 “Who is Thanos?”

  The group discusses the origin of the infinity stones, all having different powers, and origins. You can’t help but notice that there are a few that this group has come across before. But this power, this threat, felt so much beyond anything you guys were used to. 

 Now Thor is gone. Taken from you all without so much as a real goodbye. Everyone close to you seemed to suffer the same fate of leaving and you feel desperate to hold onto those you have left.

 How were you just previous fighting each other and now have the possibility of fighting a super titan from across the universe?

 “Tell me his name again.”

 “Thanos.” Bruce repeated, stepping towards where you stood and Tony paced. “He’s a plague, Tony. He invades planets. He takes what he wants. He wipes out half the population. He sent Loki.” Tony became frozen. Hearing the name of an old enemy again. “The attack on New York, that’s him.”

 “..This is it.” he whispered. You can’t help but frown in confusion. “What’s our timeline?” he asked shortly after.

 “No telling. He has the Power and Space Stones. That already makes him the strongest creature in the whole universe. If he gets his hands on all six stones, Tony..”

 “He could destroy life on a scale hitherto undreamt of.” Stephen included.

 Tony reached out for a vase before him, using it to stretch out his hamstring while he responded to Stephen. In his sardonic fashion of course. “Did you seriously just say hitherto undreamt of?”

 “Are you seriously leaning on the Cauldron of the Cosmos?”

 Now you can’t help but step forward, confused by the vases’ grand title. The cap draped around Stephen’s shoulders lifted up and slapped Tony. Causing him to stumble forward a bit while you took in the fact that this man’s cape just moved on its own accord.

 Tony looked a bit shocked, looking over at the man before he calmly became reserved again. “I’m going to allow that.” He said, before a thought came to mind. “If Thanos needs all six, why don’t we just stick this one down a garbage disposal?”

 “No can do.” 

 “We swore an oath to protect the Time Stone with our lives.” said the other male whom you found out was simply named Wong.  

 “And I swore off dairy.” Tony volleyed. “But then Ben & Jerry’s named a flavor after me. So.”

 “Stark Raving Hazelnuts.” Stephen mumbled, sounding even more irritated.

 “Not bad.” Tony shrugged.

 “A bit chalky.” 

 Wong shook his head quickly. “A Hunk of Hulk of Burning Fudge is our favorite.”

 Bruce gaped over at that, already becoming more fidgety about the situation. “That’s a thing?”

 “Whatever,” Tony said, bringing the focus back to him. “Point is, things change.”

 “Our oath to protect the Time Stone cannot change.” Stephen said simply. “And this stone may be the best chance we have against Thanos.”

 “Yeah, so conversely, it may also be his best chance against us.”

 You can’t help but snort, feeling the emotions suddenly hit you. The two men snapped their gazes in your direction. “So, you’re here with us.” Stephen said sarcastically. “Care to enlighten us with your views? I’m sure the other Stark, has one.”

 You’re trying to hold back the real anger coming in. The one that hit you when Bruce revealed Thor's death. It was another loss in your life. You just couldn’t believe that someone as powerful as Thor was gone because of this Thanos. 

 Crossing your arms, you move past Bruce to stand by Tony. He catches your eyes, giving you a knowing look before you face Stephen. “Well, for starters, Raspberry Thorbet is the superior flavor.” you shrugged. “And I think Tony is right.”

 The taller man scoffed a bit, raising a brow at you. “Seriously?”

 “What good is a sworn oath when he’s powerful enough to just take it?” You glanced over to the other wizard (sorcerer?). “If he has two stones powerful enough to wipe out half of the Asgardians. Some of the most valiant and powerful people. Then why the hell are we wasting our time giving him the chance to get another stone?!” Your chest is rising and you have to pinch at your arm secretly to keep from bursting like you want to. “Take out the damn probability before I have to lose another damn friend in this!”

 “That’s only if we don’t do our jobs.” Stephen countered, now irritated by you. 

 “What is your job exactly?” Tony asked. “I mean, besides making balloon animals.” 

 “Protecting your reality, douchebag.” 

 You can help but roll your eyes at the two. They’re oddly similar and two egos in one room is already far too much. Bruce, seeming to feel the same, stepped forward. 

 “Okay, guys. Could we table this discussion right now?” The two put off the stare down to turn to Bruce. “The fact is we have this stone. We know where it is. Vision is out there somewhere with the Mind Stone and we have to find him now.”

 Tony glanced over at you with a winced look. All you could do is merely turn away from Bruce, trying to cover up the discomfort. This was going to be a lot to unpack for him in such a short amount of time.

 “Yeah, that’s the thing.” Tony started. 

 “What do you mean?”

 “Two weeks ago, Vision turned off his transponder. He’s offline.” he shrugged, arms crossed over his chest. You remembered back to how upset Tony got. Unsure why Vision would cut all ties immediately and while you helped try and find him, you knew it wasn’t going to work. Not when Vision knew both your techniques well enough. 

 Vision didn’t want to be found. He did not want to come back home. And if that didn’t add salt to wounds..

 “What?!” Bruce asked, brows furrowed in the confusion. “Tony, you lost another super-bot?”

 “I didn’t lose him. He’s more than that. He’s evolving.”

 “Some parents would call it a rebellious phase.” you added, getting a small glare from Tony. Bruce ignored your words, following after your brother.

“Who could find Vision then?” asked Stephen as he attempted to bring back the situation into focus. But he was completely unaware of how much of a loaded question that was. There was a possibility that Vision had gone off to find Wanda. Something about their bond during their stay in the compound. But the only one who would have an idea of her whereabouts was the man that helped free her from the raft.

 “Shit.” Tony cursed under his breath. “..Probably Steve Rogers.”

 “Oh great.”

 “Maybe. But..” Tony dragged out, sighing a little bit in defeat.

 “Call him.” Bruce suggested.

 “It’s not that easy.” Bruce only stared over at Tony even more confused. “God, we haven’t caught up in a spell, have we?” he said, almost too casually.

 “No.” 

 “The Avengers broke up,” he said simply. “We’re toast.”

 “Broke up? Like a band? Like..like the Beatles?”

 You cover your tired face, not having the mental capacity to deal with another detouring conversation. 

 “Cap and I fell out hard. We’re not on speaking terms.” he said, shaking his head.

 Bruce turned to face your direction, holding his hands out confused. “Boyfriend? Or?”

 Shaking your head, you crossed your arms over your chest. “Broke up with him a little after you and the green guy went AWOL.” 

 Bruce’s whole face fell, looking around the room incredulously before he returned back to the two of you. “Tony, listen to me.” he said, stepping closer. “Thor’s gone. Thanos is coming. It doesn’t matter who you’re talking to or not.”

 That  seemed like enough to convince Tony. Making him let out a sigh before he reached into his pants pocket. You followed after him, watching as he pulled out the flip phone he showed you just shy over a year ago. 

 “You carry that around with you in your pocket?” you whispered, slightly amused. 

 Tony closed his eyes, letting out a long exaggerated sigh. “I swear to God-”

Waving your hand, you step away and allow Tony to make the phone call. He’s about to press down on the keypad when a rumbling sound filled up the noise in the room. Tony turned around to face the rest of you. 

 “Say, Doc, you wouldn’t happen to be moving your hair, would ya?”

 “Not at the moment, no.”

 You follow his gaze to Strange’s head, noting that it was indeed moving on its own. In fact, the hair framing around your face began to move as well. Looking up, you stare up at the gaping hole in the roof of the building.

 “Someone’s here.” you whispered, ready for the worst.

 Stepping out on the outside proved you right. All around were strong winds and citizens of the city running away from one direction. Pushing on the button of your earring, you turn on the connection to FRIDAY. 

 “FRIDAY, connect me to Tony.” you yelled, helping pick up some of the people tripping over the debris. Already he was stalking off ahead of the group, trying to find the source of the commotion. 

 One turn around the corner has you coming face to face with the source of the noise. A large wheel-like shit was currently descending down to Earth. Causing the air to turn foggy and thick with its exhaust. You catch up with Tony, looking up at the beast of the machine.

 “FRIDAY, evac anyone south of 43rd Street.” Tony ordered. “Notify first responders.”

 “Will do.”

 A burst of orange glow waved past the two of you, going forward towards the ship in the sky. At first it didn’t seem like it did anything, but when the wind died down, you figured that Strange must have done something to stop it from dropping down further. 

 You took a glance at Tony and shared a look of strange amusement before turning back to the main problem. 

 The ship aimed a bright light down on the ground, beaming down two individuals. After all these years of fighting against Gods, Hydra, and murder robots. You shouldn’t be so surprised to figure out that Aliens would join the list of enemies now.

 The small group slowly walked over towards the two. You can’t help but take notice of their appearance. They were drastically in contrast to each other. But you focused your gaze on the smaller one who appeared to be the calmer of the two.

 “Hear me and rejoice.” started the thin one. “You are about to die at the hands of the Children of Thanos.” The giant beside him barked out in agreement, adjusting the weapon in his hands. “Be thankful that your meaningless lives are now contributing–”

 “I’M SORRY! EARTH IS CLOSED TODAY.” Tony yelled, thankfully interrupting the annoying creature’s speech. “You better pack it up and get outta here.”

 The gray creature moved his gaze over to Strange, ignoring Tony’s comments. “Stonekeeper,” he called out, getting Stephen’s attention. “Does this chattering animal speak for you?”

 “Certainly not. I speak for myself.” he answered, stepping up to the plate. He clapped his arms together, balling up his fists as the orange magic wrapped around his hands again. “You’re trespassing in this city and on this planet.” Wong behind you pumped his arms in the same way, ready for the fight.

 “He means get lost, Squidward.”

 “God,” you gasped under your breath. “That’s perfect.” you said to Tony. Glancing at your brother with an approving nod. He only gave a small smirk before he looked back to the two aliens.

 “He exhausts me. Bring me the stone.”

 The giant gave one hammer to the ground in response. Tapping at the bands on your hands, you pull the gauntlet over your hand, powering up as you readied yourself for the creature’s attack.

 “Banner, you want a piece?”

 “Mmm no, not really. But when do I ever get what I want?”

 “That’s right.”

 “Okay, push!” Bruce grunted. 

 “It’s been a while. It’s gonna be good to have you, buddy.” said Tony, unaware of the complete failure of a transformation happening behind him. 

 “Okay shh.” Bruce grunted, vein protruding from his neck as the green attempted to creep up on his skin. “Let me just..I need to concentrate here for a second.” The lack of action caused Tony to slowly turn around, eyeing his friend curiously. “Come on, man, come on.”

 “Where’s your guy?”

 “I don’t think he’s coming, Tony.” you muttered, raising your hands up as the fidgety creature began to step towards your direction.

 Bruce tried grunting back into Hulk mode again before he sighed. “I don’t know. We’ve sorta been having a thing.”

 “It’s performance issues!” you hissed, trying to hopefully piss Bruce off that the Hulk will come through.

 “Please don’t word it like that.” sighed your friend.

 “It’s no time for a thing.”

 “I know.”

 “That’s the thing right there. Let’s go.” Tony urged.

 No matter how hard Bruce cried and worked, there was no way for him to change into what you needed. Strange peered over from Tony’s other side. Looking at him with an astonished glare before Tony leaned forward. 

 “Dude, you’re embarrassing me in front of the wizards.”

 “Don’t make him feel bad, Tony! He’s trying his best.”

 “He’s barely even breaking chartreuse!”

 Bruce let out another grunt before turning to your brother. “Tony I’m sorry. Either I can’t or he won’t.”

 “It’s okay.” Tony assured him, placing his hands on Bruce’s shoulders. “Hey, stand down. You two keep an eye on him.” He caught your gaze before turning to Wong. Pushing Bruce closer to him. “Thank you.”

 You moved to stand in front of Bruce alongside Wong. “We have him.” Wong nodded.

 The large creature began to run now, gaining closer distance to the group. A small panic began to build up inside you, making you wish for more help. Tony pulled the straps to his chest, cinching up the trap suit as he activated the nanobots on his chest.

 The beast instantly set out on the attack, running even faster now as Tony pulled out the shield from his suit. Blocking the hit before he throws a solid punch to the creature’s jaw. It staggered him back enough that gave Tony a chance to activate his cluster canon that he recently added to the Mark L suit. 

 Its power sends the beast flying all the way back to its partner. 

 “Where did that come from?” Bruce exclaimed, shocked to see such power from one of Tony’s suits. 

 “It’s nanotech. You like it? A little something I-”

 The ground from beneath Tony shot up, sending your brother up in the air. “Tony!?” you yelled into your ear piece. “Are you okay?”

 “Shit, didn’t see that coming, kid. I’m okay.”

 The gray squid-man tore trees from the street way, shooting them over at the group. Wong instantly threw out his magic, putting up a solid glowing wall to stop them from reaching to where you guys stood. 

 “Doctor Banner, if the rest of your green friend won’t be joining us..” He held his hands up, opening a portal behind Bruce before allowing the man to fall down the circle. He nods at you. “Better help keep watch of him.” he pointed out. 

 Nodding your head, you jump through, landing hard on the half car that got torn off with Bruce when he fell in. The wind got pushed out of you a bit, but you were able to balance yourself before hopping off the car.

 “Are you okay?” you asked, helping Bruce off from the ground. He let out a small groan a bit before taking your hand. You wait until he’s settled before taking a look at where you guys were. “We’re at Washington Square park.” you observed, reaching for your phone. 

 Tapping at the screen, you activate the locator to Tony. Trying to figure out if he was able to return back to the fight. But barely links up for a second before Tony is sent flying into the park. Crashing into the root of a tree.

 The two of you quickly rushed over to his side.

 “Tony, you okay?” Bruce gasped. “How we doing? Good? Bad?”

 You rolled your eyes, wanting to point out it can’t be that great if he’s in the ground right now but you bite your tongue.

 “Really, really good.” He said, on the same page as you it would seem. “Do you plan on helping out?”

 “I’m trying. He won’t come out!”

 “Boss, you better move out the way.” said FRIDAY into your ear.

 “Hammer.” Tony said, pushing the two of you out of the way in time from the giant creature’s attack. The push sends the two of you over the ground, making you huff a bit as you hit your back against the ground. 

 Leaving Bruce to fight against a large tree branch, you climb back over the half of the car, aiming your repulsors over at the beast trying to attack Tony. “Shit, these two keep moving around too fast.” you hissed. 

 You only get one blast out at the creature before he’s sending Tony flying back in your direction. Hopping off, you rush over to try and shoot closer at the oncoming beast when a red blur lands before him.

 “Hey, man! What’s up, Mr. Stark?”

 Peter, or rather right now, Spider-Man, had come in the nick of time. 

 “Spider-Man!” you yelled, reaching out to help Tony up from the floor dragging him back a bit.

 “Oh, hey, Scout!”

 “Kid, where’d you come from?”

 “A field trip to MoMa!” yelled Peter as he was thrown across the park. Tony and you aim both your hands over to the boost, hitting him with a sonic blast before you dashed out of the way. With how fast this guy got back up, you couldn’t take your chances to shoot from the same spot.

 “What is this guy’s problem, guys?”

 “Uh, he’s from space. He came here to steal a necklace from a wizard.”

 You made a run over towards the heavier treelines, trying to get out of the path of the creature's hammer swing. “You know, on this nice day too.” you added in, aiming another sonic blast. It barely scorched the side of its large leg, giving Tony the chance to attack with another laser shot. But it simply reached for the half broken taxi cab and threw it in Tony’s direction. 

Peter was quick to grab it before it shot off too far and threw it back to hit against the beast. Sending it hard to the ground. 

 It scrambled up quickly, letting out a primal growl before he started to charge for Tony again. He’s about to swing down when you switch to the sonic boom, causing the creature to cry out at the pain to its ears and giving Tony a second to switch back to his shield. 

 It prepares for another throw down when a blurred object rushes between the two of them. You barely get a second to notice that it’s not just an object but Strange himself. 

 “Kid, that’s the wizard. Get on it.”

 “On it!” Peter yelled as he shot his web towards the light posts, shooting his body into the sky and after Strange. You switch it over to a flash attack, blinking the repulsor twice to get the creature to stagger back from his next hit. 

 “We gotta get this guy down!” you yelled, running to ambush from a new spot. “It’s gotta have some sort of weakness.”

 “Towards the statue,” Tony pointed. “Let’s rock his world.” 

 You rolled your eyes at the pun, dashing to run in front of the beast and get his attention into following you. Tony flies through the trees, coming around the back just in time to spring out in a surprise attack. You used your smaller height to quickly sneak out from under the creature’s legs. Rolling through them and over the grass until you were at a good distance again.

 “Uh, guys, I’m being beamed up.” Peter said, making you turn your neck towards the sky. From below you could spot the bright blue beam hitting down on the city again. 

 “Shit, it’s got Spider-Man!” you yelled.

 “Hang on, kid!” Tony yelled, hitting blasts enough that the creature took a swing at him. It’s not until he’s being hit with rocks that Tony mistakenly stays close, giving him the chance to grab hold of his body. He sent Tony back wrapped up in a claw like device. 

 “Shit!” you hissed, aiming your hands back up, running just a little behind the creature as he jumped up to send a stab down to where Tony laid. In the blink of an eye an orange portal opened up just before Tony, sending the creature down in what looked like a snowy land. 

 Wong and Bruce both come up now, the older man holding his hands up as he holds the spell that created the portal. Joining at their side, you peered down to see the giant get back up from the floor. Growling a bit as he looked up in the sky to the rest of you.

 Right as he’s about to jump back through the portal, Wong quickly closes up the seal. But not before one of the creature’s arms came through, being cut off instantly from the seal of the magic. 

 “Oh!” Bruce gasped, watching the limb bounce on the ground before he kicked it away from you guys. 

 You barely had time to register that when Tony pulled up from the ground. Tearing off the claw around him. “Wong, you’re invited to my wedding.” he said simply before shooting up in the sky. 

 “Tony, wait!” you called out, watching as his figure drifted further away from the city. Pulling out your phone, you connect with FRIDAY to ping to Tony’s location, watching as his locator was getting further away from the city.

 A familiar click ticks in your ear and you close your eyes. Bracing yourself for what you know he’s going to say.

 “Sprout..”

 “Tell me you’ll come back. You’ll grab the kid and get the hell out of there.”

 “It’s not just him, Sprout. They’ve got Strange. And if they have him then they have that stone.”

 You gripped at your phone tightly, feeling your heartbeat increase with worry. “Fuck, I’m not gonna be able to help you, Tony. FRIDAY won’t make it past the atmosphere.”

 “I know, kid..” it’s silent for a second before he spoke up again. “Get Rogers..tell him everything. Get everyone..anyone.”

 There’s a second of silence before you speak up again. “Be careful..okay?”

 “You too.”

 You wait for the click before turning to follow where Wong and Bruce were walking towards. Turning on your phone, you quickly shoot out a message to Rhodey, asking him to meet you at the compound. It’s not until you’re back towards the streets of the city again that you turn to find Wong opening up another portal.

 “Where you going?” Bruce asked, looking down at the dusty phone Tony had dropped.

 “The Time Stone’s been taken. The Sanctum remains unguarded. What will you two do?” he asked, after stepping inside. You glanced back to Bruce, watching him hold up the flip phone.

 “I’m gonna make a call.”

With a firm nod, Wong held up his hands and sealed the portal leaving the two of you alone in the abandoned street. Licking your lips, you glanced down at the phone screen. Frowning at the name of the contact as Bruce hesitantly pressed CALL.

  It’s been roughly towards an hour now that you sat hidden in one of the offices. Rhodey took the lead in communicating with some higher officials while you guys waited for the arrival of Steve. The nerves of seeing him again after so long made it nearly impossible for you to relax. Not to mention with total loss of contact with Tony, things were just running worse. 

 “Hey, kid. If this is too much..no one would blame you for joining Pepper back home.”

 You paused your pacing to look over at the doorway. Bruce had come through looking just as timid as ever. Quickly you waved him off, moving over to sit down on the desk chair. “We both know I’m not gonna do that.” you sighed, crossing your arms over your chest.

 “Do you uh, need to talk about it?”

 Smiling sadly, you look down at your lap as you mulled the suggestion over. “I thought you weren’t that kind of Doctor?” you asked, watching a smile tug on his face. 

 “No, but we can talk about it as friends.”

 “Bruce,.” 

 “I mean, only if you want to!”

 “There’s a lot that you missed out on.” you sighed, getting back up again. “Steve and I..we fought. And not just verbally. I tried..”

 “You tried?”

 “To shoot him..and his best friend..who I was dating at the time.”

 He let out a big huff, looking wide eyed at you. “That is a lot more than just talking it out.” You nodded in reply, looking a little bit pained at the sudden information Bruce needed to have. “Are you guys gonna be okay today?”

 “We’re gonna have to be.” An alert pinged on the computer and you tapped at the keys to activate the compound cameras. “What am I looking at FRI?”

 “Steve Rogers has just landed on the east hangar, Boss.”

 Clicking the cameras you watch as Steve stepped down from the quinjet runway, making your stomach turn a bit. “Let’s go greet our guests.” you mused, leading the two of you out of the room. The closer you got towards the labs the more you’re able to hear the remnants of Rhodey’s last conversation.

 Bruce is about to step out but you know better than for someone like Secretary Ross to see him, so you stand back, urging him to wait a minute.

 “If it weren’t for those Accords,” Rhodey said, sounding irritated. “Vision would’ve been right here.”

 “I remember your signature on those papers, Colonel.” Ross volleyed, sounding as annoying as ever. 

 “Accords? What Accords?” Bruce whispered, you held a hand shutting him up. It’d have to be another thing explained later to him.

 “That’s right. And I’m pretty sure I paid for that.”

 Your stomach dips as you recalled the events of that year. Rhodey’s accident continued to haunt you after everything. Even if he didn’t blame you, you knew that you were still part of the picture. 

 “You have second thoughts?” Ross asked.

 “Not anymore.”

 The sounds of heavy footsteps entering through the hall came in, and you felt yourself grow fidgety as you waited to hear the familiar voices again. 

 “Mr. Secretary.” 

 It’s been so long since you’ve heard the timbre in Steve’s voice. The last time he spoke to you really was with his confession. “You got some nerve. I’ll give you that.” Ross said, sounding displeased to see a former ally. 

 “You could use some of that right now.” 

 It’s Bruce’s turn to tense up now, and you can’t blame him. With Natasha being back too, well, it would open wounds for everyone. 

 “The world’s on fire. And you think all is forgiven?” Ross continued.

 “I’m not looking for forgiveness. And I’m way past asking permission.”

 You roll your eyes a bit, smiling at the very typical Steve Rogers reply. 

 “Earth just lost her best defender. So we’re here to fight.” Your chest tightened at the small reminder of Tony’s whereabouts. No one is able to locate or reach him and you know the worry is only going to get worse from here on out. But you’d hold out hope for as long as you could.

 “If you wanna stand in our way, we’ll fight you too.” Steve warned. 

 “Arrest them.” Ross said simply.

 “All over it.” Rhodey replied, sounding completely facetious. There’s a moment of silence before he spoke up again. “That’s a court-martial…It’s great to see you, Cap.”

 “You too, Rhodey.”

 “Wow, you guys..really look like crap. Must’ve been a rough couple years.”

 “Yeah, well, the hotels weren’t exactly five star.” said the voice you missed most of all. It has you pulling away from the wall and turning the corner. 

 “Didn’t you know? I put reservations under Ms. Stark’s Assistant.” you said softly, watching as the eyes of the room turned to look at you. A smile tugged quickly over Sam’s lips as he gave you a small nod. 

 “How many times do I have to remind you, Scout? I’m not your assistant.” he chuckled back, making your chest feel lighter.

 “Just one more time.”

 You note that Vision is leaning on his side, with a slightly battered Wanda holding his other. It’s not until you finally give your attention to the two blondes in the center of the room that you feel nervous again.

 “Uh, I think you look great.” said Bruce, joining at your side. The group is shocked again to see their old friend appear. You gauge Natasha’s reaction, seeing just how much her eyes sparkled to see Bruce.

 “Yeah, I’m back.” Bruce declared softly, trying to ease up some of the awkwardness that might have lingered since he followed you down into the lab. The two of you stay a few feet apart from the others. 

 “Hi Bruce.” Nat’s voice is calm and even. 

 “Nat..”

 No one really knows how to progress forward from their greeting. Well, almost no one.

 “This is awkward.” 

A/N: OK!!! It was definitely time to bring this back. I know there’s only like three people who might like this or even read this. And I hope they enjoy it. I still wanna finish out this story regardless of the little traction it gets. So please enjoy the mini chapters of Infinity War~

Tagging: @justanothermagicalsara​ - my loyal follower/reader 💖​

[wrestlingisfake]

Final Battle preview

Athena vs. Billie Starkz - Athena has held the ROH women's world championship for a little over a year, and this will be her 19th (!) title defense. She's 1-0 against the challenger, having defeated Starkz in a non-title match on June 25.

Shortly afterward, Athena took Billie under her wing--it's been so long that I've completely forgotten when, or why. For weeks ROH aired skits about Starkz being a "minion in training," but always disappointing Athena compared to Lexy Nair (who was also undergoing training for some reason). After Athena proclaimed that Lexy had "graduated" but Billie didn't make the cut, Billie snapped. On the December 14 show (taped last week) Starkz did a run-in on Athena, demonstrating all the viciousness she learned from her former mentor, and Athena suffered a legit broken nose.

Presumably this match will follow the old trope of "I taught you everything you know, but I didn't teach you everything I know." Either Billie has learned from Athena how to beat Athena, or she hasn't. Or maybe she can beat Athena by rejecting Athena's teachings, I don't know. It's safe to say she'll put up more of a fight than she did in June, but I'm not convinced it'll be enough. At the last ROH pay-per-view, they had be thinking Willow Nightingale could unseat the champion, but it didn't happen. And with all due respect to Starkz, she's not at Willow Nightingale's level--not yet anyway.

I'm in favor of seeing a title change. Athena's done all she can do in ROH except kickstart a women's tag team division (and if she was gonna do that, Billie would still be her sidekick). A sympathetic babyface champion would be a nice change of pace--someone who can play the underdog against the likes of Leyla Hirsch, Marina Shafir, or Mercedes Martinez. I would have preferred doing it six months ago with Willow, but much like Athena Willow should be on AEW television at this point. So I'll take Billie as ROH champion, but I'm not at all confident that ROH is going to give it to me.

Jon Moxley & Bryan Danielson & Claudio Castagnoli vs. Mark Briscoe & Dax Harwood & Cash Wheeler - This is billed as a "fight without honor," which just means the match can't end by disqualification or count-out. The idea is to pay tribute to Mark's brother Jay Briscoe, who was killed in a car accident on January 17, 2023. Jay and Mark began an epic rivalry with FTR (Dax and Cash) at Final Battle 2021, which concluded with Jay's last match at Final Battle 2022.

From what I can tell, the Blackpool Combat Club are heading into this match looking to honor Jay rather than play the heels. But the BCC are particularly good at acting like sadistic assholes even when they're supposed to be good guys. This is Claudio's first ROH match since September. Danielson, an ROH hall-of-famer, hasn't wrestled for the brand since 2009. It's been just as long for Moxley, except his ROH experience was just dark matches--this will be his on-screen debut with the promotion.

Moxley, Danielson, Castagnoli, and Briscoe are all booked in AEW's Continental Classic; in fact, Bryan and Claudio have tournament matches slated for tomorrow, and they'll face each other next week. Moxley has probably clinched a spot in the semfinals, and Briscoe is already mathematically eliminated. I doubt this match will affect the complexion of the tournament, but you can count on the announcers to bring it up a time or two.

I would imagine the goal here is to recreate the bloody chaos from the Briscoe-FTR matches last year. The BCC shouldn't have any difficulty holding up their end of that. I'd normally pick the BCC to win, but given the tribute angle it'd be promotional malpractice to book any finish except a Mark Briscoe victory.

Dalton Castle vs. Komander vs. Kyle Fletcher vs. Lee Johnson vs. Lee Moriarty vs. ??? - This is the final in a "survival of the fittest" tournament; the winner will be awarded the ROH television title, which Samoa Joe vacated on November 8. Each of the participants won a qualifying match to get here, except the mystery sixth entrant. The final is contested under elimination rules, so whenever someone loses a fall they leave and the match continues until only one man remains, who is declared the winner. Note that Komander's AAA cruiserweight title is not at stake in this contest.

I have no idea who the sixth participant could be, but it seems like he has to be a heavy favorite to win the whole thing. I'd be happy to see Bandido, Mark Davis, or PAC return, but I'm not sure any of them really work as a shocking comeback that will upset the balance of this match. A new guy coming in could work. Shelton Benjamin and Dolph Ziggler are free, right? Oh well, just in case the sixth guy isn't cool enough to win, I'll fall back on Castle as my go-to guy.

Keith Lee vs. Shane Taylor - Lee and Taylor were a tag team in ROH years ago, but they split up with Keith jumped to NXT. A year ago Taylor made it known that he resented Lee over this, so they clashed in a two-on-two match, which Lee's team won. Then nothing really happened for a long time, until Taylor suddenly brought it up again and they decided to do run it back one-on-one. I suppose it'd be interesting if Taylor upset Lee, but I don't expect it to happen here.

Wheeler Yuta vs. Tom Lawlor - Yuta is defending the ROH pure title, so this match is under pure rules: You can only use the ropes to break a hold up to three times, and you can only get away with one strike to the face, and so on. Lawlor has been a regular in MLW and NJPW STRONG, but he hasn't gotten many opportunities to appear with AEW/ROH. Yuta likes to bully opponents with his grappling expertise, but Tom has MMA power so that probably won't work here. Yuta will retain, I'm sure, but he'll need every trick in his book.

Ethan Page vs. Tony Nese - This is an "I quit" match, so the only way to win is to compel your opponent to verbally submit by literally saying the words "I quit." Over the past few months, these two have gone 1-1 against each other, and I guess Nese cheated to win the first match and refused to shake Page's hand in the second. I don't know, I don't really care why they're fighting.

An "I quit" match can go one of two ways--either both guys absolutely torture each other for a long time, or one guy chickens out and quits over the threat of something that doesn't seem so bad. I'm not sure which we'll get here. I really hope we don't get some bullshit where the heels trick the referee into thinking Ethan quit. I mean, Rock vs. Mankind was 25 years ago, and I don't think anyone's pulled that shit since then, but I'm still hot over it. Ideally, Nese should quit because of something really dangerous-looking.

El Hijo del Vikingo vs. Black Taurus - Vikingo is defending the AAA mega championship. Taurus is a AAA regular but I mainly associate him with appearing in Impact, so it's a little surprising to see him here. Of course, I never seem to see him win at anything, so this should be an easy win for Vikingo.

Brian Cage & Toa Liona & Bishop Kaun vs. Shane Haste & Kosei Fujita & Bad Dude Tito - Cage's team is putting the ROH trios title on the line. The Gates of Agony (Kaun and Liona) just returned from New Japan's World Tag League tournament, where they went 2-5. One of those five losses came at the hands of Shane Haste and his regular partner Mikey Nicholls. I'm not sure why Nicholls isn't here, but their associates in TMDK are here. The important thing is Haste is the one with the cool hat and the cool music, and Tito is literally named BAD DUDE. Fujita is their young boy, though, and that poor little guy is going to get squashed real real bad. Champs retain.

Ross Von Erich & Marshall Von Erich vs. Truth Magnum & Turbo Floyd - This is set for the pre-show. Ross and Marshall are the sons of Kevin Von Erich, who has a movie coming soon about his career wrestling in Dallas. This show is being held just outside Dallas. You do the math. I dig the Outrunners (Magnum and Floyd) but this just ain't their lucky day.

[flammenxci]

So I have to be the asshole again.

Background

After my dad got his diagnosis, my estranged older-half sister got in touch with me saying we needed to get back together as a family again. The reason we’re estranged is due to we’ve been out of contact for a long time and she never really established a relationship with me when I was a kid, so I concluded she didn’t want shit to do with me as an adult and stayed out of contact with her.

I found it kind of odd after all that’s happened that she chose my dad getting a terminal diagnosis to want to reunite with me. I’ve also found out that her youngest son committed suicide last year, her oldest son joined the marines and is getting married soon and now her youngest child is about to go into college and start of life of her own.

I’m already seeing signs of her wanting to use my brother and I to cope with it. Not only am I dealing with a bereaved mother but one dealing with empty nesting syndrome and I can’t go through that again. She also has showed me who I am supposed to be to her. Just by observing her behavior and the fact that she does charity work in any free time she’s got, I’ve come to the conclusion that she’s being a fixer for others so she doesn’t have to help herself to keep living in denial of how badly her son’s suicide and her other two kids leaving the nest are affecting her life.

The Issue

During the last visit I talked to her, which was about a month ago, she not only spoke over me and wouldn’t let me get a word in at all, in my own home, as the home owner. But she also showed me how hellbent she was, despite it being in a nice way, in having that motherly figure moment with me, despite not being knowledgeable of a situation I knew all about... over a dog. I’ve been out of contact with her since and blocked her number on my phone.

She brought over lasagna, didn’t touch it.

She bought a meal for me from Texas roadhouse, didn’t touch it, let my brother have it.

She sent dad and bro home with a plate for me from the Thanksgiving dinner they had at her house, didn’t touch it, let my brother have it.

She said she was bringing over a small tree and not only did she do that but she left presents. I’m sending mine back. They’re already inside a box in my car. Going to ship them out tomorrow.

Dad stopped trying with us after realizing I didn’t want anything to do with her anymore and I guess she’s going to have to learn to stop doing it the hard way since staying out of contact with her and secluding myself to my room when she’s over isn’t a big enough of a hint that there isn’t going to be anything happening between us like she wanted. I am not going to be used to “help“ with someone’s problems like that again when they made it clear to me that they just want to use me to keep living in denial of their issues and themselves. Nope, not happening again.

[hahahahahangst]

Anyone who knows what love is (Be The Young 39)

TW: [suicidal thoughts, self h*rm, violence, s*xual assault]

Other tags: [sister fic, canon-level violence, dean is an asshole, angst]

All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will occasionally break canon✨ .

Summary: Emily Reed, born and raised in Portland, is preparing her admission papers for Stanford, medical school. Little does she know, her life is about to change forever.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

A/N:  We're getting to the end of the season!

MASTERLIST

Anyone who knows what love is

You can run around Even put me down Still I'll be there for you The world May think I'm foolish They can't see you Like I can

“Has any of you two been listening to anything I’ve said?” Asked Bobby. Dean was staring out of the window, Emily at the ceiling. Bobby had been talking for about ten minutes: she had not listened much, but enough to know what he’d been talking about. 

“Yeah, we heard you.” She muttered.

“And?” 

Emily and Dean looked at each other. Emily spoke first. “We’re not calling him.” She went back to staring at the ceiling. She ignored Bobby’s following phrase. However, she heard Dean’s.

“We are damn near kickoff for Armageddon, don't you think we got bigger fish at the moment?”

“I know you’re pissed-”

Emily cut him off. “That’s reductive.”

“Look-I’m not making apologies, but he’s your-”

“Don’t even try bringing blood into this mess.” Scoffed Emily.

“He’s your brother. And he’s drowning.”

“Bobby, we tried. We told him again and again- He wouldn’t listen.” Emily sat straighter to look at the old man.

“It’s too late.” Added Dean. 

“Are you two out of your mind?” Asked Bobby, nervous. Dean paced on the other side of the room.

“No, damnit!” He turned around. “No. We gotta face the facts.” He sighed. “Sam never wanted part of this family. He hated this life growing up. Ran away to Stanford first chance he got. Now it's like déjà vu all over again.” Dean sat on a chair that was lying next to him, sad. “Well, I am sick and tired of chasing him. Screw him, he can do what he wants.”

“You don't mean that.” Said Bobby. 

“Bobby, you weren’t there, you didn’t see- He’s gone. He’s not Sam.” Explained Emily.

“If he ever was.” Exhaled Dean.

All of a sudden, Bobby kicked a table, making all its content fall on the floor. Emily, startled, stood up. Dean did the same.

“You stupid, stupid son of a bitch! Well, boo hoo, I am so sorry your feelings are hurt, princess!” Mocked the man. “Are you under the impression that family's supposed to make you feel good?! Bake you an apple pie, maybe? They're supposed to make you miserable! That's why they're family!”

“That’s not how family works!” Answered Emily, upset. “And we told him- he walked out, he was choosing Ruby. He walked out, Bobby! He chose!” 

“You know who you two sound like?” Asked Bobby. “John Winchester! Let me tell you something about your dad: he was a coward!”

“My dad was a lot of things, Bobby, but a coward?” Asked Dean. Emily groaned, exasperated. 

“He'd rather push Sam away than reach out to him.” Explained Bobby. “Well, that don't strike me as brave.” 

“Bobby, I don’t give a fuck about what my dad did or didn’t do!” Yelled Emily. “What matters is that Sam is not himself anymore and he- HE CHOSE A FUCKING DEMON OVER US!” She repeated, accusatively pointing at Bobby. 

“HE NEEDS HIS SIBLINGS!” 

“HE COULD HAVE GOTTEN THEM IF HE WANTED TO!” With one final yell, Emily fell back on the couch. “But he didn’t.” She dried her face. “So now-” She cut herself off. 

Dean glared at her. “Now we have to find a way to prevent the apocalypse.” He concluded. In a blink, Dean had disappeared. A couple of seconds later, as she was still processing, Ramiel appeared in the room, apparently in a hurry. 

“Cazzo!” He yelled, looking around. “I’m too late, am I?”

”...were you looking for Dean?” 

“Yes.” He recollected himself. Emily’s stomach contorted. Damn, he was hot. It seemed unfair to be that attractive in such an emergency.

“Well, he just disappeared.” Emily shook away her thoughts. “Let me guess- It was your people.”

“Oh, Emily, they’re not my people anymore. I’m on the run.” He explained, closing his jacket.

“Meaning?” The girl stood up and reached for her laptop. 

“I rebelled, tesoro. I refused to follow their orders.” Said Ramiel.

“Well- Where are they keeping Dean?” Emily opened her laptop and placed it on her knees, looking at the angel. Ramiel didn’t answer. “Miele, I know you know. Just tell me.” Ramiel seemed to break a little when Emily used the nickname on him.

“Sì, sì, you’re right. I do know. But I don’t think it’s wise to go there.” 

“Why?” 

“Once we get in, they won’t let us out.” He exhaled.

“So what are we supposed to do?” Emily browsed to the phone company website on her laptop. “I’m not gonna sit here and watch the world burn. Ramiel, if we can’t get to Dean, then we need to get to Sam.”

“I don't know where he is. He's protected against my sight.” 

Emily looked up at the angel. “If I tell you where he is, can you help me get there?” She asked. The angel seemed set back by her words, but was quick to answer. 

“Anything.” 

Emily spent the next several hours fighting with the phone company to get Sam’s phone and GPS turned on, to no avail. 

“Damn it!” She threw her phone across the room. “I’ve literally run out of numbers to call. We’re not gonna find Sam like this!” She paced back and forth in the room. 

Bobby entered the room holding a book. “What if we didn’t go to Sam, but we went directly to Lilith? He said he was close, right?” 

“Yeah-” Emily stood straighter, realizing what book he was holding. “You’re right! We found her once with a tracking spell, right?” 

“Exactly.” Bobby looked at Emily. “But kid, if you get there and Sam still has to arrive…“ 

“We’re all dead.” She exhaled and put her hands on her waist. She looked at Ramiel. He was leaning against a wall, distractingly looking at his cufflings. “It’s a risk we’ll have to take.” She touched the angel on his shoulder. He raised his gaze. “Are you in?” Asked Emily. Ramiel nodded and pushed himself away from the wall.

It was almost night again before the spell was ready. Emily was standing next to a window, looking out as if Dean was to pull into the backyard of Bobby’s at any moment. She tried calling him for what was probably the fortieth time. She left another voicemail.

“Dean, I don’t know if you are getting these, but- Wherever you are, me and Ramiel are going after Lilith. I’m gonna put an end to this, okay? Please call me- call me if you’re still alive, okay?” She flipped her phone close and leaned on the cold window glass. She felt someone’s presence behind her. “What, you eavesdropping on my phone calls now, Miele?” 

“I’m an angel, I can hear through walls.” Emily, still looking out the window, felt Ramiel get closer and put his hands on her shoulder. They were weirdly warm to belong to a body which had probably died years prior. Ramiel ran his thumbs up and down on Emily’s shoulder.

“The spell is ready. Did you pack everything you need?” He asked. Emily looked over at her backpack, which laid on the floor, still packed with dirty clothes. 

“No, but- it’s no use. You know we’ll probably die, right?” She turned towards him and sat on the ledge of the window. “Miele, why are you coming on this suicide mission with me?” 

“I like you.” Shrugged Ramiel. “And I don’t want the apocalypse.” 

Emily shook her head. “Like me, like me, or… just like me?” She joked. Ramiel looked at her, extremely confused. “Nevermind- you said the spell was ready, right?” The angel nodded and left the room. As he turned away, Emily checked his figure and shrugged, thinking that maybe, if they survived, some angel sex could have been fun. 

Emily caught herself thinking about it a little too explicitly. 

“I can’t believe I’m about to die and I’m thinking about sex.” She whispered to herself as she entered Bobby’s living room. The man looked at her. 

“Pardon me?” He asked, trying to hide a smile. 

“Nothing- the spell?” She said, awkwardly gesturing in front of her. 

Bobby placed a map under a pendulum, then performed the spell. The pendulum started swinging and eventually stopped on a very precise location. Emily leaned over the table to see better. 

“That’s…“ She squinted. “A random empty road in Kansas?” She tried looking closer.

“Well, I doubt Lilith is hiding in a roadhouse.” Said Bobby. “The spell should be precise to the street. Let’s take a closer look at that road.” Bobby turned around and fished another map from a box. He opened it in front of his and Emily and Ramiel walked behind the man to see. “Here.” Bobby pointed to the street. “There’s not much, a convent and a high school.” 

“Well, it has to be either one of the other.” Emily walked to her laptop in the other room and brought it back to where the man and Ramiel were waiting. She typed in the name of the convent and started looking for news. 

“Got it.” She smiled, proud of herself, after snooping around for a bit, hunched over the now dismantled spell. “In ‘72 the convent was abandoned after a priest killed eight nuns.” She glared at Bobby. “And get this-” She continued. “The priest said a demon named Azazel made him do it.” 

“Well, that seems too much of a coincidence to not be the right place.”

 Emily didn’t waste another second and stood up, hurriedly grabbing her backpack. Ramiel followed her. He was about to teleport her, but she stopped him. She walked back to Bobby and hugged him. “Thank you.” She said. “I’ll see you- at one point.” He patted her on the back. Emily gestured at Ramiel and in a blink, she was in another room. 

Immediately, her mind was overwhelmed by Sam’s thoughts and feelings. She felt a mix of anger and fear. In front of her was Dean, trying to break down a large door, unsuccessfully. When she saw her, he stopped. 

“What-” He started to say. She interrupted him immediately, hurrying towards the door. 

“Yeah, what are you doing here, this is not safe- whatever, move!” With a hand gesture, she forced the door open. 

”...even you have to admit…I'm- I'm awesome!” Ruby's voice said. Emily charged in the room, ready to fight Lilith, but she was too late.

Lilith’s body was already lifeless, slumped on the altar, blood dripping copiously out of it. When she looked back, Ramiel was standing in the middle of the door and Dean was a couple of steps further.

In front of her, instead, were Lilith’s body, Sam, who looked shocked and upset, and Ruby, who instead, was proudly looking around. It took Emily a moment to sort all the things in her brain. 

Lilith, dead.

Sam, alive.

Dean, alive.

Ruby, alive.

Everything was alright, but one. 

Emily used her powers to slam Ruby into a column. 

“Wrong.” Said Emily, walking towards her. “You’re not awesome, you’re fucking dead.” 

Emily, s- Sam’s voice echoed in Emily’s head, but she interrupted him by also slamming his body on a wall. 

“NOT NOW, SAM! I’LL DEAL WITH YOU LATER!” She let go of Sam’s body, who fell on the ground, struggling, before Emily turned towards Ruby again. The demon was giggling. “You think this is funny?” 

“Hilarious.” She smirked. “You made my life so difficult, never keeping that trap shut, but in the end, I won.” She laughed. “I won, demon barbie.” 

Emily heard the sound of Dean helping Sam up behind her. Trying not to roll her eyes at it, she kept talking. “Yeah?”

“Sure.” Ruby smiled, proud. “I knew I could not get through to you or Dean, but you know who can? Sam. Oh, he talked you right into trusting me!” 

“You poisoned him.” Emily tightened her force, making Ruby wimper. “You turned him into a junkie.” She extracted the demon-killing knife from her jacket. “Last time, we let you walk, Ruby, but this time-”

“It doesn’t matter.” Ruby kept her smile. “It’s too late. He’s coming.” She nodded towards Lilith’s blood. It was slowly, but weirdly deliberately, moving into a circle. 

“Oh Ruby.” Exhaled Emily. “I’ve been waiting for the moment I get to waste you since you first showed up.” She stabbed Ruby in her chest. The demon tried to scream, but no voice came out. “I don’t care if I’m too late.” Concluded Emily, extracting the knife. She let the body fall on the floor, lifeless, and took a step back. “Now.” She put the knife away and turned towards Sam, who was standing not too far away. He tried to speak, but Emily didn’t let him. “WHAT DID I TELL YOU, UH?!” She walked towards him. “YOU ARE A F-” Dean got a hold of her arms and stopped her. As she was about to cuss him as well, he pointed to Lilith’s blood. 

“There’s no time. Let’s get out of here.” Emily turned to where Dean was pointing. Then, she looked for Ramiel, but he was nowhere to be found. The blood had completed the circle and was converging towards the middle, making another smaller circle. The moment the second circle was complete, light started to emanate from the middle of it, flooding the room. 

That was it. Lucifer was rising. 

“Come on!” Pleaded Dean, grabbing her by one side of her jacket and shoving her towards the door. Emily looked at him, then she looked at Sam. As light almost blinded her, she started running towards the door alongside Dean, but the light soon became too bright and she was overwhelmed by white.