#be the young

[hahahahahangst]

When there was me and you (Be The Young 41)

TW: [suicidal thoughts, self h*rm, violence, s*xual assault]

Other tags: [sister fic, canon-level violence, dean is an asshole, angst]

All chapter titles are song titles, some of them translated from Italian songs. We start from the first season and make out way through the series. I will occasionally break canon✨ .

Summary: Emily Reed, born and raised in Portland, is preparing her admission papers for Stanford, medical school. Little does she know, her life is about to change forever.

"After reading this whole letter, call John Winchester. [...] He’s your real father."

A/N:  nobody asked for it, but here’s some Dean wingman action

MASTERLIST

When there was me and you

Why did I let myself believe miracles could happen?

Not managing to drive all the way to Sioux Falls, they crashed in a motel.

“I think there’s too many of us to take only one room this time.” Commented Dean, pointing at Ramiel. 

“Non c’è problema, I don’t need sleep.” The angel shrugged. 

“Yeah, but the people at the counter don’t know that, do they? Let’s just take two rooms and avoid all the questions.” Dean started walking towards the reception. “Me and Sam will take one and you two…” He smirked and glared at Emily. “-you can cuddle in another one.” 

“Do you really want me to break your nose right now?” Commented Emily, shoving him on the side and taking the credit card from his hands. Scowling at him, she entered the reception and, nevertheless, asked for two rooms,even if the plan was to hung out in the same room for a while. 

Emily sat on one of the beds as Dean cleaned his gun, as he often did when he was nervous, and Sam left to get food. Ramiel leaned on the wall next to the door, pensive.

“Are you going to hold a grudge on me forever?” Dean asked, briefly stopping cleaning and raising his eyes to look at Emily.

“That’s pretty much the idea, yeah.”

“Alright.” He went back to his cleaning. “I’ll let you go back to your sweet sixteen in peace.” 

“Fuck you.” She answered. 

“Wouldn’t it be easier if you just told me why you’re so upset?” Emily didn’t answer and looked at the door. “Emily? Come on.” 

“Okay, I’m- Dean, are you really going to let Sam off the hook like that? Is it really just fine for you?” 

Dean hesitated. “Of course not.” 

“Then why did you say so?” 

Dean exhaled and put the gun on the table. He turned towards Emily. “Because sometimes- some things are just not worth a fight.” 

Emily remained silent for a second, thinking. “So, me opening the gates of hell is worth a fight, a big one, even- but Sam starting the apocalypse is not? Talk about double standards.” She rolled her eyes.

Dean exhaled again. “Well, I guess the past two years have taught me a thing or two.”

After a minute of silence, Emily spoke again.  “Look at you, you’ve grown up to be so wise.” She chuckled.

Dean smiled. It came to Emily she had not seen him do it in weeks. “Look, it’s not like I’m not mad at him, just…” Dean sighed. “…this is not the time to fight, we need to fix this.” He said. Emily nodded and started rummaging in her pockets for her cigarettes. “By the way, what has gotten into you lately?”

Emily glared at him. “What do you mean?” 

“I mean, like- Alastair, Ruby… Usually I would have expected you to come down panicking but you've been surprisingly badass.” 

“Well, I guess the past two years have taught me a thing or two.” She mocked. 

They remained in silence for a minute before Dean spoke again. “About Sam, try to be a little bit more chill, okay? I know you're mad and I'm not saying act like nothing happened, but- drop the yelling, it's not helping anybody.”

Sam opened the door and entered the room. 

“Hey.” He said, tossing his siblings one hex bag each. “These will keep us hidden from angels and demons.” 

“Really?” Asked Emily, examining the bag. 

“Yeah, umh- Ruby taught me.” Something flipped in Emily's mind and she shot her eyes up to Sam. Dean cleared his throat, grabbing her attention. She forced herself to stay calm.

“That's… Cool.” She sighed. “About that…“ She collected all her strengths. ”...sorry I killed your girlfriend.” 

Sam lightly scoffed. “Not my girlfriend but- it's okay, I would have done the same.” 

“Speaking of.” Said Dean. “How you doing? Are you jonesing for another hit of bitch blood or what?”

“I-it's weird. Uh-” Sam quickly glared at Emily. ”...tell you the truth, I'm fine. No shakes, no fever. It's like whoever...put me on that plane cleaned me right up.”

“That's the first good news I've heard all week.” Sighed Emily, standing back up. An awkward silence filled the room. Dean cleared his throat again, this time without any second meaning, and stood up to put away his gun. 

“Guys-” As she heard Sam’s voice, Emily moved her glare away from Ramiel and looked at Sam. Dean, instead, sighed and turned the other way. 

“Sam,“ he said. “It's okay. You don't have to say anything.”

Emily stood up and went to pack her bag, trying to ignore the conversation happening behind her.

“Well, that's good. Because what can I even say?” Continued Sam. “I'm sorry? I screwed up? Doesn't really do it justice, you know? Look, there's nothing I can do or say that will ever make this right-”

“Then stop fucking talking about it!” Emily threw a shirt on top of her bag. Dean side eyed her from the other side of the room. “God.” She exhaled, shaking her head and going back to her packing. 

A minute of silence followed her words. 

“Alright listen to me-” Resumed Dean. “Both of you. We don't have to put this under a microscope. We made a mess. We clean it up. That's it.” When Emily didn't answer, Dean lightly hit the back of her shoulder. “Drop the attitude, okay? We got work to do.”

Emily sighed. “Alright.” She said. “By the way, it’s late, I’ll head to my room.” She took her bag and walked out of the door, silently followed by Ramiel. 

“Use protections!” Said Dean as soon as they had walked out of the room. Emily walked back a couple of steps to show him the finger. 

“Sorry about my brother.” Said Emily on their way to the room. “He’s an idiot.” 

Ramiel shrugged. “I find him funny.” 

“Well, if you like him so much we can swap rooms and you can sleep in his bed.” She chuckled, opening the door. Ramiel didn’t answer as they entered the room and Emily closed it behind them. “Well, home sweet home.” She joked. “Make yourself comfortable, choose the side you want.” She pointed at the bed and then she disappeared in the bathroom to take a shower. As she turned on the faucet, she could not help but think about the angel that was currently just outside that thin door. 

She knew that, physically, it wasn’t Ramiel that attracted her, it was the vessel. But it wasn’t just that. Somehow the way he talked, constantly mixing Italian and English, the fact that he was also so calm, completely the opposite of her... It made her mind go to very weird and unholy places. He emanated calm and peace and she couldn’t help but be attracted to him. She finished washing and went out of the room to dry her hair. Ramiel was sitting on the bed, watching tv with a confused expression. 

“What are you watching?” Asked Emily, looking over at the television. 

“Something about an older brother.” He answered. On the screen, Emily saw a group of people all hanging out in the same room, arguing. 

“You mean The Big Brother?” She smiled. “That’s not good tv, man-” She walked over to the bed and grabbed the remote. “Here, I’ll find something interesting for you.” She sat next to him on the bed and started zapping through the channels. She felt Ramiel’s hand touching her hair as she found Doctor Sexy on a channel and stood back up.. “This is way better.” She smiled and finished drying her hair as Ramiel stared at the screen. Then, she threw herself on the bed next to the angel, her legs crossed. 

“Listen, why don’t we watch a movie? We can have a sleepover.” She joked. Ramiel looked at her, confused. 

“I told you, I don’t need to sleep.” 

Emily smiled. “That’s the point of a sleepover, Miele.” She said. 

“I see.” Ramiel smiled. “What do you want to watch?” Emily raised her eyebrows. Ramiel had probably seen little to no movies, so it was her chance to make him watch a good one. 

The best one. 

“We gotta watch High School Musical!” She said, rushing out of the bed to take her laptop. Ramiel patiently waited as she searched for the file in the deeper folders of her laptop, and then placed the computer at the end of the bed. “Are you ready?” She asked, suggestively. “This movie goes hard.” 

About halfway through the movie, Emily started falling asleep. Her head slowly falling in front of her, she was suddenly awakened by Ramiel’s comments. 

“This school really is obsessed with the status quo.” He said. 

Emily’s head shot up as she tried to stay awake. “Mh-mh” She muttered, her head now falling to her right and onto Ramiel’s shoulder. When he didn’t complain, Emily just remained there, exhausted. 

She slept peacefully, something that didn’t happen as often as she would have liked to. When she woke up, she did it with her face deep in the pillow. She opened one eye and saw Ramiel in a brand new suit, adjusting his cufflinks on the other side of the room. 

“Ah, I see you got back in character.” Commented Emily, yawning. 

“Good morning Emily.” He said, calm. “I'm sorry to be so abrupt, but I have to go.” He started standing up. 

Emily sat on the bed. “What?” She asked. 

“The angels are closing in on me. If they find me again- I will die.” 

Emily quickly got out of her bed and walked towards him. 

“Ramiel, what did you do?” She asked, confused. “Why are they looking for you?” 

“I rebelled. Way more than Castiel thinks.” He answered. Emily looked at him. 

“What do you mean?” 

“You. You are the reason the angels are looking for me. I got you out of hell while we were fighting against it to get your brother.”

“Why?” Ramiel looked at an indefinite point behind Emily, hesitating.

“This might be the last time you see me.” He said. 

“What are you talking about?” She asked again. 

“I’m sorry, amore, I can’t.” Ramiel exhaled and tried to walk away. 

“No, don’t- Come on, man, just explain to me what's going on.” She stopped him. “We can help, you know we can.” 

“I believe this is above you and your brothers.” He cupped her cheeks. She took his wrists and moved his hands away. 

“Don’t change the subject, Ramiel, you told me I was destined and that god had work for me!” In the blink of an eye, Ramiel’s wrist disappeared from her hands in front of her and there was nothing left. 

Emily stood still for a good minute, processing. Then, she took her bag and ran knocking on her brothers' door. Sam opened the door, barely awake. 

"Emily, what are you doing- it's seven in the morning, we went to sleep two hours ago.” He exhaled, dragging his hands across his face. Emily completely ignored his words and entered the room, shoving him on the side. She walked up to Dean's bed and started shaking him to wake him up. 

"Dean, wake up!” 

"Emily, what's going on?” Asked Sam, trying to stop Emily. Dean abruptly woke up. 

"You need to call Castiel.” Said Emily getting rid of Sam's hold. 

"What? What time is it?” Answered Dean, still tired. 

"I said call Castiel!” 

"Emily, what the hell is going on?” Asked Sam, as Dean slowly got out of his bed, upset. 

"Ramiel left.” 

Dean started walking towards the bathroom. "Probably should learn how to have sex right.” He mumbled.

"Wh- shut up! This is serious!”

“What? He’s an angel, they come and go as they like. Why is this any different than the other times?” Dean came out of the bathroom drying his face. “He said the angels are looking for him and- Dean, I need to speak with Castiel.” 

“No, you need to calm down- Talk with me, what happened?” 

Emily sat on the bed and drew a big breath. “You know how he said he brought me back because it was my destiny, all that stuff?” 

“Yeah, why?” 

“Apparently, it’s all a big lie.” 

“What? Why?” 

“I don’t know, Dean he- I don’t know, okay?” 

Sam intervened. “And how’s Castiel going to help?” 

“Apparently Ramiel is wanted by all heaven, and I am sure Castiel knows why.” 

“Well, he’s not answering. Been missing.” Said Dean. Emily let her body fall back onto the mattress. “I’m sorry kid.” He fell onto Sam’s bed. “At least you got some good angel sex out of him before he left.” 

Emily exchanged a quick amused look with Sam. “What makes you think I had sex with him?” 

“You didn’t?” Dean prompted himself up with his elbows, disappointed. “Come on, I even set you up by putting you in the same room.” 

“Dean, what is your problem with Ramiel and I?” 

“Emily, come on.” He smiled. “He’s been calling you love since the day he met you. He clearly has a thing for you, and-” Dean interrupted, mocking Emily as she instinctively smiled while thinking of the angel. ”...well, there’s that face that you’re making.” 

Emily immediately returned serious. “I’m not making any face!” She protested and looked at Sam, who was also chuckling. 

“Look, I get it-” Said Dean. “You got a crush on the handsome Italian angel who saved your life, really- perfectly understandable. But…” He hesitated. 

“But what, Dean?” When Emily answered that, he turned around, a big smile on his face. 

“So you’re not denying.” He mocked. “You do like Ramiel!” Emily rolled her eyes. “Fuck you.” 

“Yeah, I love you too.” He said, showing her the finger.

[sunnylolli]

THE SCENARIO IF STANLEY DID HAVE THE COURAGE TO ASK FORD FOR HELP THAT TIME BEFORE HE GOES TO GRAVITY FALLS AND FORD IS SOMEHOW CONVINCED TO COME DOWN AND MAKE AMENDS????????????

[miloheilo]

Same man I was before

[septemberkisses]

the fact that i'm no longer the same age as the protagonists of novels and films i once connected to is so heartbreaking. there was a time when I looked forward to turning their age. i did. and i also outgrew them. i continue to age, but they don't; never will. the immortality of fiction is beautiful, but cruel.

[bootleg-grandpa]

Uh..my hand slipped, sorry- didn't mean to make it angsty at the end

Anyway, smol twins meet smol twins- a twinsanity, a tetra-twin, a 2+2

Next (kinda??)

[wrenchwenches]

[justafanbutcurious]

[eosofspades]

i didn't have "i'm broken" teenage asexual angst i had "i'm literally being the only reasonable one about this concept and the rest of you are behaving like fucking freaks" perception issues

[thecollectibles]

Saint Jellyfish Exhorter by seok young choi

[motorizedduck]

Just today I got to see a chess book that I remember reading as a little kid. While it didn't give me a lifelong passion for chess, it did give me a lifelong passion for fantasy for its artwork.

The book is "Chess for Young Beginners" from 1975, and here's some of the artwork:

Like, this artwork goes hard. I especially appreciate the colour scheme for the black pieces, with its browns, bronzes, reds and oranges.

This artwork is amazing, evocative, exciting and dramatic. I recommend giving it a look if you have a chance - you can probably scrounge up a PDF of this thing with a bit of searching.

[hahahahahangst]

Not a big deal (Dean Winchester birthday fic)

Context: Season 5/6 transition. Emily (Dean and Sam’s little sister) and Dean just moved into Lisa’s house. Settling into normal life is hard, but they’re doing their best.

“Good morning.” Smiled Emily, entering the kitchen. She looked around. “Where’s Lisa?” 

Dean finally raised his eyes from his cup of coffee. “Extra shift at work.” He exhaled, clearly tired. 

“That’s a shame.” Said Emily, starting the coffee machine. “But on the other side, I managed to get rid of work today.” 

“Good.” He drank more coffee, sleepily staring in front of him. “God, I am so tired.” 

“Why don’t you call in sick today? You’ve been working non-stop since we got here. It’s been what, two months? I don’t think I’ve ever seen you take a day off.”

“Well, cars break even on the weekend.” 

“Yeah, but you’re not the only mechanic in Cicero.” Dean scowled at her, understanding the hunting analogy. Emily smirked. “Just saying, you know. If you were totake one day off, today would be the perfect day.” 

“We’ve been off from our actual job for a month now.” 

It was Emily’s turn to scowl at him. “We’re retired. Not the same thing.”

“Whatever.” He dismissed her. “Why today?”

Emily, confused, waited a second to see if he would start laughing. He didn’t. “Dean, come on.” 

“What? Is it your birthday? I didn’t think you would care.” Emily kept staring at him. “...Ben’s birthday?” She covered her eyes with her hand and started laughing. “Lisa’s..? Why are you laughing?!” 

“It’s your birthday, Dean!” Like raised from a trance, Dean turned towards the calendar that was hanging on the wall next to the door.

“Oh, right.” He shrugged. “Why does it matter? We’ve never celebrated a single birthday.” 

“And?” 

“And I’m surprised you even know my birthday!” 

“What do you mean? Me and Sam have been buying you that pie you like so much every single year for what, five years? Of course I know your birthday!” Dean turned towards her, confused. 

“You have?” 

“Of course!” She laughed. “What do you say if this year we celebrate properly?” She hopped off the counter and retrieved his empty coffee cup to move it to the sink.

“I don’t know, Emily, it’s… it’s really not a big deal.” 

“You’re right: it’s a normal people deal.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Seriously? You’re gonna play that card?” 

“Yeah.” She proudly replied. Dean still didn’t seem on board. “Come on.” Dean exhaled. 

“Alright… what did you have in mind?” He said, giving in to his sister’s request.

“It’s a surprise-”

“No, no, come on. You know I hate surprises.” 

“You’ll love this one.” She smiled. “Trust me.” 

At 7 o’clock, Emily arrived back from all the errands she had to run, a bunch of plastic bags in the back of her car, and honked. In a matter of seconds, Dean opened the door and walked towards the car. “Get in loser, we’re going shopping!” She joked, rolling her window down as he approached her. With a grimace, Dean went around the car and sat next to her. She started driving away. 

Dean stared at her for a second. “Alright.” He allowed.

Emily excitedly giggled. “Okay, so I’ll pick you up at 7, okay? Just be ready by then.” Dean rolled his eyes, but accepted nonetheless. 

“So, where are going?” He asked. 

“Not saying.” She smiled. “But hopefully you’ll love it.” As they moved away from the city, Dean started to grow more curious. When Emily parked, he inspected his surrounding from the car. It was dark, but in the shadow he could distinguish the shape of some sort of house. “Alright, come on.” Said Emily, exiting the car. She retrieved all the plastic bags from the backseat and started walking towards the cabin. Dean followed her, uncertain.

Emily opened the door and turned on the light in the cabin. It was very simple: there was a couch, a tv and a fireplace. That was about it. She had spent the entire morning cleaning it after years of abandonment.

“Where are we?” Asked Dean, confused. 

“I present to you the Singer family summer mansion.” She said, theatrically gesturing towards the inside of the house.

“This is Bobby’s?” 

“Yeah, says he hasn’t been here in decades, but he still had a key.” 

“Well, why are we here?” 

“For your birthday, why else?” Emily closed the door behind her and started lighting the fire place. “What? Were you expecting strippers and poker?” She joked. 

Dean shrugged. “Well, a little bit.” 

“I know you far too well to do something like that.” She stood back up from the fire and placed all the plastic bags on the table. “So, we got all party necessity: food…” She listed, taking out some chinese food containers. “...food….” She took out some fast food. “...we also have beer.” She unwrapped a six pack. “Anything we’re missing?” She smirked, looking at Dean. 

“Well, if I were to guess I would say that bag contains pie.” He said, pointing at the last plastic bag. 

“...and you would be perfectly right!” She smiled. “We got not one, not two, but three pies.” She placed all the pies on the table. “But no birthday would be complete if we didn’t have candles!” She took out a smaller plastic bag containing blue birthday cakes s[elling out number 3 and number 1. Dean could not contain his smile. 

“Are you going to sing me happy birthday?” He joked. 

“Oh, of course not.” She said, serious. “We’re adults.” She stopped for a second and smirked. “The candles will. Here…” She opened one of the pies and placed the candles on top of it. When she lit the first one up, it started emitting sounds. As Dean focused, he recognized Rumble on from Led Zeppeling being very crackly played by the candle. 

“Happy birthday!” Smiled Emily, holding the cake in front of his face. “Make a wish!”

[fizzie]

[eye-curtain]

The Bride and the Ugly Ass Groom

[redwolf17]

🙃 Regular reminder that while Hozier has amazing love songs, he is ALSO very outspoken about his leftist politics, specifically anti-fascism, anti-racism, reproductive rights, Palestinian rights and more.

Take Me To Church and Foreigner’s God are scathing critiques of organized religion, specifically the Catholic Church and the colonization of Ireland.

Moment’s Silence is about oral sex but it’s ALSO about how that specific sexual act is often distorted to a show of power rather than that of love.

Nina Cried Power is an homage to various (mostly Black) civil rights activists from the US and Ireland and a call to follow their path.

Be criticizes anti-migrant policies and Trump and his ilk.

Jackboot Jump is about the global wave of fascism and about protest and resistance.

Swan Upon Leda is about reproductive rights and the violent colonial oppression of Ireland and Palestine.

Eat Your Young is about the ruinous way the 1%/capitalism and arms dealers prioritize short-term profit over everything else to the detriment of the youth/99%

Butchered Tongue is about Irish and other indigenous languages being suppressed and erased by imperial powers.

If any of the above surprised you, please, please delve deeper into Hozier’s music, you’re missing such an important part of his work.

[veramitar]

Young overlords ready to paint the neighborhood red.

Minimaniacs Artboard 1 | 2