#twisted wonderland crack fic

[astro-stars]

can your horns be used as handles (TWST

The dimly lit, atmospheric common room of Diasomnia was alive with the faint crackle of a magical fireplace. Yuu sat at a table strewn with notes, quills, and books, working diligently on a project with Sebek. Well, Sebek was working diligently, his handwriting precise and his focus unwavering. Yuu, on the other hand, was half-distracted, their mind wandering as they stared at the intricate patterns of the dorm’s decor.

It wasn’t until Malleus entered the room, his regal presence as commanding as ever, that Yuu’s thoughts crystallized into a single, burning question that had been lingering in their mind for weeks. They glanced at Sebek, who was muttering about the importance of proper formatting, and then at Malleus, who had taken a seat on the nearby couch with Lilia and Silver.

Without thinking, Yuu blurted out, “Hey, Malleus, can you feel your horns?”

The room went silent. Sebek froze mid-sentence, his quill poised in the air as if someone had just declared open war on the Thorn Fairy herself. Lilia’s lips curled into an amused smile, while Silver blinked slowly, clearly trying to process the sudden shift in conversation. Malleus, for his part, tilted his head slightly, his expression one of mild curiosity.

“My horns?” Malleus repeated, his deep voice tinged with intrigue. “What an unusual question, child of man. May I ask what brought this to mind?”

Yuu flushed but pressed on, their curiosity outweighing their embarrassment. “I’ve just been wondering. Like, are they sensitive? Can you feel them the same way you feel your hands or something?”

Sebek’s face turned an alarming shade of red. “HUMAN! How dare you ask such a personal question of the Young Master?!” he bellowed, his voice reverberating through the room. “Have you no sense of propriety?!”

“It’s fine, Sebek,” Malleus said calmly, raising a hand to silence him. “I find the question rather intriguing.” He turned his attention back to Yuu, his emerald eyes gleaming. “To answer your question: Yes, I can feel my horns, though not in the same way I feel my hands. They are part of me, but their sensitivity is… limited, shall we say.”

“Huh,” Yuu said, nodding thoughtfully. “That’s kind of cool. So, theoretically, if someone were to, I don’t know, use them as handles, would that… bother you?”

The silence that followed was deafening. Sebek looked like he was about to faint from sheer outrage, while Lilia burst into laughter, his voice ringing out like bells. Silver sighed, rubbing his temples, as if wondering why he even bothered to stay awake for these conversations.

Malleus blinked, his expression unreadable for a moment before his lips quirked into a faint smile. “Handles, you say?”

“Yuu!” Sebek shouted, his voice cracking. “That is utterly disgraceful! Apologize to the Young Master at once!”

Lilia wiped a tear from his eye, still chuckling. “Oh, Yuu, you truly are a delight. I don’t think I’ve ever seen Sebek this close to imploding.”

“I’m just curious!” Yuu defended, throwing up their hands. “It’s not like I’m actually going to try it or anything. I just… wondered.”

Malleus regarded Yuu for a moment longer before nodding slowly. “I see no harm in curiosity, as long as it remains respectful. However, I would advise against using my horns as… handles, as you put it. They are still a part of me, after all.”

“Fair enough,” Yuu said, grinning sheepishly. “Thanks for answering, though. I’ve been wondering about that for a while.”

Sebek groaned, burying his face in his hands. “Why does the Young Master tolerate this insolence?!”

Silver patted Sebek on the shoulder, his voice calm. “Relax. It’s not worth losing sleep over.”

Lilia leaned back in his seat, clearly enjoying the chaos. “Well, this has certainly been the most entertaining study session I’ve witnessed in years. Carry on, Yuu. You make life in Diasomnia much more lively.”

Yuu laughed nervously, returning to their project. They made a mental note to think twice before letting their curiosity get the better of them again—though they couldn’t help but feel a tiny bit proud for making Malleus smile.

TAGLIST: @soramcduckahyucky

BORDER: me!

[agirlnamedstar]

Lilia: *hanging above a now awake, grumpy Yuu*

Lilia: Whatcha dreamin’ about?

Yuu:…I WAS dreaming about Crowley being murdered. And now? I’d like to go back to that.

[jamil-s-wifey]

If you're taking any scenario request. Maybe could I request funny/silly one where Leona and his S/O are married and live in the Royal Palace. Leona's S/O has gotten lost somehow in their own home and when found their response is "This place is too damn big I'm sorry!"

You have NO idea how much I love these types of fics! Wholesome crackheadedness at its finest✨ We love a spouse with 0 orientation skills. (I'd know, I get lost in supermarkets) This was ONE OF THE FUNNIEST THINGS I've EVER written. I hope you enjoy!

"What the actual fuck."

A turn here. A turn there.

Oh, would you look at that - the exact same vase you passed 5 minutes ago. But was that really the same vase? Or was it its evil twin, trying to further confuse you, only for you to get lost even more and die of starvation, eventually BECOMING ONE WITH THE PALACE...

God, whoever built this palace should have their head on a stake. Haha, that sounded a lot like the Red Queen of Hearts. Perhaps Riddle was rubbing off on you. You two did text occasionally since graduating from NRC.

Speaking of graduation, you married Leona. (yay!) And it's not like you weren't happy. Life was relatively peaceful. You two moved back to the palace. Arrangements had begun for you two to take over a certain part of Sunset Savannah, as something akin to a *Peerage. (They had their own name for it, you are currently far too annoyed to remember.) A lot of (semi-forced) communication set the road to reconciliation between the two brothers. (Admittedly a very long road. A road that puts Gulliver's travels to shame.) The Royal Family™️ accepted you with open hearts. (albeit a tad wary at first)

Really there was only one major problem.

The ROYAL PALACE IS LIKE A GODDAMN LABYRINTH. And that's rich, given your history of painting the white roses with Ace and Deuce in Heartsabyul's maze. So here you are, lost.

Scratch that.

Lost: again.

And all you wanted to do was find Cheka's room. You had a gift for the little cub.

"An architectural masterpiece, my ass. This is an architectural disaster. A disaster with a capital D. D for Vitamin D - what I won't be getting, because I'm trapped within these walls, where the SUN CAN'T REACH ME-"

Okay. Calm down. It's not that bad, sure there isn't a soul in sight, but you're bound to stumble upon somebody at some point, right? There had to be servants, or guards, or somebody! UNLESS! This is all an elaborate plan to get rid of you.

Aha! That must be it. The Royal Family wants you dead and they intend to make it seem like an accident! But Leona wouldn't allow that, right? He loves you! Dearly! You're his spouse, his one and only! Ah, cruel fate.

Is it just you...or are these walls moving in on each other. So this IS an assassination attempt! And you presented yourself on a silver platter. Good job, s/o. Splendid work. A royal for a few months and you're already about to be assassinated. Your name shall remain the book of "Dumbest ways to die." Goodbye cruel world-

"S/o."

Leona's voice rang through the empty hallway, "What are you doing out here."

Ah! And so tragedy was avoided once more!

"Leona, my LOVE! Thank God."

"Did you just- get lost in the palace... again?", his eyes read annoyance but his tone was teasing.

"It's not MY fault this place is so damn big, what do you need all this space for anyways? Indoor badminton? Hide and Seek or Die?"

"Definitely that last one. That's how we get rid of our enemies."

"AHA! I knew it! So this IS an assassination attempt!"

He simply rolled his eyes, pulling you towards him to wrap an arm around your waist and kiss you on the forehead.

"This isn't an assassination attempt. You did this yourself. It's called idiocy."

"You should build a better palace."

"What I should do is put a collar on you. With a tracking device on it. Like a pet."

"Oh, Leona~ Who knew you were into that~"

"Next time I'm leaving you here to rot."

"Then I'll haunt you to Hell and back."

He smirked, pinching your cheek as you were both making your way far from the cursed looping corridor.

"At least you won't be able to get lost."

"I told you, it's not my fault."

"Nah, of course not. The Palace is just cursed."

"EVIDENTLY."

You both knew this isn't the last time you'll be getting lost. And Leona was seriously considering the tracking device.

Perhaps he'd already ordered it too.

You were about to find out.

*Peerage - collective noun for titles like Duke, Duchess, Count, Earl etc. Comes from "Peers of the Realm" where one could hold one or more of these titles. It differs from monarchy to monarchy. THAT'S YOUR WORD FOR THE DAY FOLKS!

[soy-soi-si]

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「Istg, YOU'RE PENPALS WITH MY GRANDMA TOO?!」

@ Prettyboy_SoapOpera 𝑡𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑑 @ Y/nthe1_4ubb.

@ Y/nthe1_4ubb

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「Hell Yeah I am! Meemaw is amazing!」

@ Prettyboy_SoapOpera

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「SHES NOT YOUR MEEMAW YOU WHORE, KEEP YOUR GRUBBY HANDS OFF OF HER」

@ Y/nthe1_4ubb

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「WELL SHES ALREADY CLAIMED ME AS HER GRANDDAUGHTER TOO LATE MOTHER FUCKER SHES MINE NOW」

@ Beauty_Bitch

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「Will you potatoes stop arguing, you're interrupting my morning routine.」

@ Y/nthe1_4ubb

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「Sorry vil :)」

@ Beauty_Bitch

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓

「Needless to say why on earth are you up so early, perhaps you would like to come over to try a new skincare routine if you're free.」

@ Y/nthe1_4ubb

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「Afraid I'm busy with a couple tasks Crowley gave me but if I get them done in 5 I got a bit before class I could spare some」

@ Beauty_Bitch

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓

「I've sent Rook to alleviate your tasks, I'll see you soon potato」

[toffee4you]

Sleepover Headcanons—--

First Years

Content: Prefect!reader, platonic, everyone's rowdy, Sebek's getting clowned on

Other parts: second years, third years

How would the twst boys behave during a sleepover at Ramshackle?

Ace

He's the first friend who comes over (along with Deuce) and only brings his own possessions to the sleepover. That bag of chips he bought? Yeah, they're for himself. Maybe he'll be willing to share if you make a fool out of yourself, though.

Maybe the only sharable item he brought is his deck of cards, but you were quick to ban that due to his habit of cheating.

Ace isn't that much of a handful when it's just Deuce and Grim. They have their usual petty fights, but you're able to meditate it. The real problem starts when more people begin to join; he's definitely beefing with your other friends, namely Sebek. Have fun trying to ensure nothing gets broken!

He's one of the last people to fall asleep out of the first years... And the first to pull pranks on the sleeping ones. First it's Jack, then it's Deuce. He really motivates you to not fall asleep in all the wrong ways.

Deuce

He comes with Ace but ACTUALLY brings snacks and drinks for everyone.

You don't have to worry much about Deuce fighting with others, the only issue is when Ace provokes him into arguing. You'll have to break it up before things spiral into a fistfight.

He falls asleep pretty late, but not late enough to outlast professionals like Ace... Or just exceptions like Ortho. He becomes the victim of getting his face drawn on.

Epel

This is being kept a secret from Vil for... Reasons. You're pretty sure he'll get dragged back to Pomefiore if his housewarden finds out, even if it's a weekend. After all, sleepovers typically mean staying up late.

He mostly brought apples and apple products due to the mass amount of it that he has, but rest assured he brought a game or two as well.

This one right here is the initiator of the pillow fight. He ends up smacking Ace in the face while shouting at him with a thick accent to the point where everyone's just confused, then everything goes in a downwards spiral from there. At least it was fun.... But the only terrifying part was dodging Jack and Sebek. you really wouldn't want to get hit by them, even if it's just with pillows.

Jack

He was just honestly doing his best when he brought protein bars and movie disks. At least the bars are chocolate, so despite how dense they are, nobody minds too much. No one wants to mention his choice of movie genres until Ace does and gets into another small fight.

He's fun to be around since he doesn't rage after games like most of the others (sometimes Deuce is fine). The only issue is that things will get noisy when he catches anyone cheating, so you'll have to oversee the games.

He tries to stay up like everyone else, but since he's so used to his regular sleep schedule, he falls asleep first. He's the victim of having makeup all over his face and getting all prettied up in ribbons and braids. Admittedly, you joined in with braiding his hair and tail.

Sebek

This guy pulls up with his Malleus plushie and immediately becomes the target of jokes within the first 15 minutes of the sleepover. He actually does bring a few refreshments though, which is surprising. You suspect it might have been under the directions of Lilia.

He seems really on edge the entire time since he's not guarding Malleus, but once he gets into the mood of the sleepover, his mind won't be as occupied on it. Plus, Malleus and Lilia ordered him to attend for his own good. He needs peers to hang out with.

#1 game rager, and Ace/Grim are having a field day out of it. He's not good at online games at all, so his only wins are either playing against Jack or playing tabletop games instead.

Watching him chomp down all the snacks starts to make you concerned that maybe there isn't enough at all. Fortunately, an unknown hero (...Ace...) replaced his drink with dark coffee to hold back his appetite. Sebek will try to pretend he can drink it at first before he has to give up, and that's when round 2 of the jokes begin.

Falls asleep around the same time as Deuce, and immediately, everyone wants to test out if his singular lightning-shaped hair strand can actually charge up devices... And Ortho. It's a rumor that was going on for a while.

Ortho

Ace, Deuce, Epel, and Grim get HYPED when he comes because they just know he has all the good games with him. The video games.

He did research on what kind of snacks to bring, plus Idia actually gave him the advice and budget for it so his little brother would look cool in front of everyone!

Naturally, he crushes everyone in online games, but he did try to slightly nerf himself after some of the others game raged.

Surprising good at pillow fights too. He's speedy and able to dodge by flying, plus his power output can be stronger than what it looks like. In fact, he nearly knocked Deuce out cold with a pillow and had to apologize later.

Ortho charged earlier in the day so there's no issues with staying up all night. No one exactly suspects him of being mischievous because they're all focused on Ace, but in reality, he's the ONLY person who gets to have the last laugh at everyone when they fall vulnerable to face-drawing and pranks in their sleep.

Grim

Your little furry friend. He didn't really help you prepare much for the sleepover and kept trying to get into the snacks beforehand, but he's super excited for it.

He talks big everytime he starts a game and rages when he loses, requesting to play something else or to do “another round” until he wins. There is no in-between.

He accidentally sparks jealousy in Sebek when casually mentioning how often “Tsunotarou” hangs out with the both of you, thus causing another fight. It's easier to break up a fight with Grim since you can just grab him and swaddle him. Kitty burrito.

Makes for an amazing pillow or heater when he falls asleep. The only difference between during a sleepover and during usual naps with him is that your other friends get to experience the fluff as well. Note that this does not stop the pranks from happening.

Special: Ouija Board

Epel is the one who brought along an Ouija board, and Ace pushes everyone else to play it by questioning their bravery.

Already, the two people who are fearing this board the most are Sebek, Grim, and Deuce—they won't admit it, though. Each and every one of them is pretending like this game is child's play.

Jack is probably calling this stupid but plays anyways because he won't stand for being called a chicken.

It starts with a simple question of “Are you there?” and ends with panic as the planchette moves to “Yes.”

It seems like everyone forgot there were actual ghosts at Ramshackle, but it was funny nonetheless seeing everyone panic; especially Grim. You would've liked to think that he'd be used to it by now.

When weird rumors about Ramshackle start circulating the school again, you'll know exactly why now. Even Malleus asks about it during his next visit. You might've spotted Rook lurking around the dorm a few times too.

[multifandon-simp]

I really love any and all stories in which the prefect confuses (and potentially traumatizes) the Twst cast with knowledge from our world, maybe it's because of my obsession with cultural differences and confusing people but idk.

Anyway I wish there were more of them because it's just such a fun idea. But I never saw the fanfics discuss the topic of hunting and burning witches at stake, and I'm just like ?????

Because I would love to tell them about it and watch the horror on their faces. It's payback for all the shit I've been put through at NRC (especially by Crowley) and there's nothing you can do about it.

Oh headmage do you have any new tasks for me?

Well how would you like to hear about the cruel reality of the medieval times and peoples attitude towards witchcraft for most of history in return?

I'm begging on my knees if someone who can write sees this, please please write it I need it in my life.

[cloudcountry]

ROLLO REACTING TO US BITING HIM 😍😍😍 crack

crack.

funny

fluff maybe

but mostly funny

like

bite him then try to swing him around but bc this is semi realistic unfortunately he just stands there like 🧍‍♂️

LMFOAIDIWI

SUMMARY: you bite rollo.

WARNINGS: none!!

COMMENTS: this is such a weird request but rollo is so touch starved he'd be into it do not pretend im wrong

this one is for the biters i know you're out there

Rollo is working hard, you’ve noticed.

The library is quiet, aside from the occasional sound of pencils scratching on paper and soft whispers of equations being exchanged between students. You purse your lips as you stare at your Rollo’s back, hunched over some papers as his hand scribbles equations down. His other hand is furiously punching numbers into a calculator, and it makes you wonder if he’s working on the school’s budget instead of math homework.

You walk up to him, peeking over his shoulder at the work in front of him. Yup, definitely his math homework. Your face twists up in displeasure as you read the equations, unable to understand what any of them mean.

Unfortunately, you can’t help him with this one. You’re out of your depth here.

So instead, you place a gentle hand on his shoulder and dive into the crook of his neck, nibbling gently at the skin you find there.

Rollo jolts up in his chair and whips around, eyes wide and face red. You swear you heard him squeak, and you wish you’d heard it clearly because the prospect of Rollo squeaking is almost too good to be true.

“What do you think you’re doing?” he hisses, scrambling for his handkerchief to cover up his blush.

“It’s a library, Rollo.” you snicker, squeezing his shoulder as you take the seat next to him, “You need to be quiet.”

He huffs, clearly annoyed, but makes no move to shove you away. Rollo may be fed up with you, but you really are special to him.

[beneathsakurashade]

why did my favorite game turn into a dating sim? twst x gen reader (crack fic) CH 1: Bro got half a braincell

Intro CH:2 CH: 3

You were bored, like really bored.     So now you were sitting on the mattress that you called a bed while reading fanfics that hadn’t been touched by their authors after almost five years.  Scrolling absentmindedly through A03 you stumbled upon a new fic that somehow escaped your search.  It was titled 𝕋𝕨𝕤𝕥: 𝕋𝕙𝕖 𝔻𝕒𝕥𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕊𝕚𝕞, in that font, just published mere minutes ago.  “Well, there’s nothing else that I want to read” you shrug and tap to open your newest discovery.  You’re greeted by a page that is blank, completely barren of words, “Is my wifi bad?” You mutter and reload the page. The page remains blank, “Wait no summary? No chapter title? Nothing?” You stare confused at your screen Did someone forget to write anything and just press post? you think attempting to exit out of the fic.  You feel nothing but a sudden fear as you shut your eyes and feel a rush of cold air and cobblestone as you hit the ground.  "Ow...the hell?" you cry and step up "Ah, good you're here!"

     An unfamiliar voice calls out and you hear someone walking over to you.  You look up to face a man wearing a bird-like mask and dressed in rich attire.  “And you are?” You ask unamused.  “I am Dire Crowley, headmage of Night Raven College!” He smiles “All I heard was that I’m a stranger and I brought you here” you retort.  “That is correct! I brought you here from your world for a once in a lifetime opportunity!” Not convinced you continue “If that once in a lifetime opportunity doesn’t include free food and housing I don’t want it-” Crowley interrupts your comment “Trust me, your food and housing will be completely covered! For I am so gracious! Now follow me, for I shall tell you why I brought you here on the way to my office”.  I don’t suppose that I have much of a choice… you think to yourself “Alright bird man, let’s get going”.  You follow this Dire Crowley through what appears to be a school, there’s people your age walking around in uniforms of various colors.  Some are holding textbooks, some are discussing yesterday’s homework and some are using their movement time to nap on the benches. 

You both arrive at his office and he opens the door, you sit yourself down at the chair in front of his desk.  “Now explain why I’m here” You start and watch as he summons papers into his hand and places them on his desk.  “You are to be part of a special program here at Night Raven College, a program which includes teaching our students about the married life.  If they so desire to partake in it later in life” Crowley explains.  You nod and pause “Wait…so what does teaching your students about being married have to do with me?” inwardly you think Okay...this is definitely not the NRC I'm used to, there's no such thing as a marriage program.  He explains further “Well you see, I have contacted your siblings, and they say that this experiment would do good for you! So this is a win win situation for us yes?” nodding slowly you pause and mutter "Wait...why does this feel familiar?"  Stiffening you realize that you were summoned into the world of Twisted Wonderland, right in the middle of Night Raven College, a school full of cute guys...and a deadbeat principal...

    You gaze at the first page in the small stack that you were given, at the top there’s a section for your basic info.  Filling the first page out you flip over to the back, there are a few more basic questions, like what’s your best subject, your hobbies, and your likes and dislikes.  After filling out the first page you turn to the second, which has information about a young man named Riddle Rosehearts, there’s no photo set for either of you.  You knew a lot about Riddle, Twisted Wonderland was your current hyperfixation, so you knew damn well about everything for every character, you could probably be like Azul and blackmail everyone at school with the dirt you had on them.  Still, it was strange having their info presented to you on a sheet of paper, you usually used the wiki to get your info, wait...what if you get your own twst wiki page?  What if someone is studying your page like you studied your favorite boys'?  Shuddering at the thought you look through the what was written on the pages, Age 20...wait wasn't he seventeen in the original game? Is this an au or something? Birthday is August 24th, homeland is Queendom of Roses, man I wish my homeland was called that tbh... Best subject is practical magic…whatever that is.  He’s in the Equestrian club, righttt, I forgot that NRC is a rich kid school, ain't no way my school has the budget for horses.  Ughhh my sister was a horse girl, I do not wanna handle more seasons of Heartland.  Hobby is hedgehog tending? That sounds awfully cute, bro better share them hedgehog tending responsibilities.  Pet peeve is rulebreaking? I mean it depends I guess, like some rules are dumb, and some aren’t so… Favorite food is strawberry tarts, sounds yummy, least fave food is junk food, oop bro is gonna hate my fave foods.  Talent is being fast at solving crossword puzzles? Mine is probably being fast at Fruit Ninja-. 

Crowley snaps and breaks you out of your thoughts, “So what do you think of your first partner Mx. L/N?” you try to keep as calm as possible (as one can when they get the news that they're going to be marrying a character from their favorite game) and cough.  "He seems interesting, so when do I get to meet him?”     “Quite soon Mx. L/N, after school today you both will meet.  Then tomorrow you will both attend classes together, and share a dorm room”.  “You want me to share a room with a stranger?” “Fear not Mx. L/N, there will be separate beds, and our students are very respectful.  If anything arises please report to Mr. Crewel, he will deal with such things swiftly”.  "Sure whatever you say..." you mutter and ask what happens now, trying to meet Riddle as soon as possible.  You walk alongside Crowley as he leads you to an empty classroom with a single student inside.  Sitting down at a desk with his head buried deep within a book, the only thing that you can see is two strands of strawberry red hair.  Sits the familiar sight of a particular rule obsessed student.  “Uh, Riddle, right?” You peep up and he looks up at you “Oh hello, you must be the student that the Headmage told me about” you nod in response.  “Yea I am, so uh…what do we do now?” You look behind you and notice that Crowley is gone, “Did he just leave? Bruh, guys always do this…” you remark sighing.  "Shall we introduce each other properly?" Riddle suggests and you shrug.  He stands up from his seat "My name is Riddle Rosehearts, Housewarden of Heartslabyul, it is an honor to meet you.  I do hope that our partnership shall be enjoyable".  You smile "I'm Y/N L/N, uhhh, an average college student.  It's nice to meet you".  

A/N: guys this is a cringey I know lol, this is basically for me to practice my writing. also fun fact the chapter titles r from wattpad comments. ok I'll go now bye :>

[lovelyyandereaddictionpoint]

Yandere Rook x Reader x Yandere Malleus

I’m mostly joking…

I mean you can’t have two conductors in a lightning storm and not expect to get electrocuted

Rook is the ultimately obsessed stalker and Malleus is the possessive powerhouse

It really shouldn’t work at all 

But if all the dominoes are in place it just becomes a perfect storm

Malleus knows good and well that the hunter has an intense interest in you

He smells him around Ramshackle when you have no recollection of inviting the vice-warden

He senses his presence when you and he are alone

And when he gets more intimate with you he knows Rook’s watching

For some reason, it doesn’t bother him 

He gets a rush knowing he’s showing just how much he owns you

He thinks that’ll scare him off 

On top of that, he is quite a powerful fae so any sane human wouldn’t want to tussle with him

Right? 

“Roi du dragon! How are you monsieur!” 

What idiot lied and said Rook was sane?!

Well it's easy to say Rook isn’t quite like most humans

He's a really gutsy

its only natural for a hunter to be so

Malleus will come to learn this

As he's suddenly seeking the hunter out more often 

He finds poetry in the places he frequents

And arrows that shoot near him with long-winded letters about how wonderful you and he are together naked

He’s amused 

And enjoying Rook’s engaging behavior

“Oh? Would you like for me to delve into the differences between grotesques and gargoyles?”

“Oui oui.”

He bonds with Rook over you easily 

Both gushing in old English about how lovely you are 

Eventually, Malleus looks to Rook for guidance

As he is more in tune with other students right?

That's why he has so many friends targets right?

“If you truly wish to court (Y/n) you should join me in watching them sleep!”

“But they refused when I asked! How did you do that?”

“There's no need to ask, that way you don’t impede on their sound sleeping.”

“I see, thank you!” 

Even worse Malleus is naturally possessive and greedy

tis the instincts of a dragon

“Lilia…what if I’m fond of two humans? Can I still have them both?”

“Of course!! And hey since Rook’s a hunter, I’m sure he’d love a good hunt.”

“I agree. Thank you!”

He’ll do just that and suddenly Rook is on the run

Happily hunting one another until he buckles at the sheer will Malleus has

Waiting until he’s pinned underneath the horned Prince of Thorns and looking into the excited glowing emerald eyes that he concedes

Now all that’s left is you

And since you keep running from them both; maybe you want to be hunted too

[universaln0b0dy]

Goblin war [Twisted Wonderland x reader]

[Note: Based on an (exagurated) event that happened to me recently and the fact I refer to small styrofoam balls, often found in bean bags, as goblins. Mostly first years and a little bit of Sebek angst???????? Also non-canon everything...]

[Summary: You needed help washing your bean bags and it turned into you and your friends sacrificing goblins to the trash-king]

There are two things that are easy to have a billion off. Dust particles and styrofoam balls.

When the dorm heads first got the concerning messages about the first years being in trouble they assumed the threat would be actual goblins. Magical beings that could become very problematic, if not properly taken care off.

They rushed to the Ramshackle dorm, to lend a helping hand to their problem kids, ready to murder whatever would be waiting inside.

"What should we do? The door is looked!" Riddle asked worried. Malleus and Lilia who just arrived politely, but firmly pushed Riddle to the sidelines in order to blast open the door.

"We shouldn't do that, herbivore is going to complain my ear off if the door is broken." It seemed like Leona would be the voice of reason this time.

It was true, a broken door would not only hand them an complaining prefect, but might even endanger the first years. If they were truly fighting magical creatures.

That was well and all, but it left the question just how they would save them. Cue to Rook offering to pick the door. Usually this would have handed him some weird looks, though at the moment this was more than appreciated. It was a life and death situation after all.

Well, just imagine their suprise when the first years exploded out of the door, covered in small white balls.

1 hour before:

Your fingers hover over your phone. You had just once in your life washed a bean bag and it ended in chaos. To say the truth you weren't sure if inviting Sebek to this activity was a good idea, with how electric he could be at times.....

But he looked so sad everytime he was left out at Diasomnia. So you sent him your little message too.

"Hey, I wanted to ask if you would be willing to help me clean the bean bags at Ramshackle (free the goblins)?"

One amazing thing about your friends was that it didn't even take 5 minutes till they arrived at Ramshackle, regardless of how ridiculous the request was.

Today was the same, even Jack and Epel came, though you had been sure their afternoon clubs would have them busy. According to them, leaving you alone to do anything ment the school would be set on fire later, so they would be here to supervise you.

"What do you want us to do?" Ace asked, nestling into the couch, while you stand in the middle of the room, surrounded by a half circle of friends patiently waiting for you.

"You guys remember the bean bags Crowley randomly handed me?" A collective nod goes through the room. It had been such a strange situation that it would probably be a memory for the rest of the school year.

"Well they got dirty and in order to wash them I need your help in removing the stuffing." Sebek looked a bit confused. "Then why did you write about goblins, human?" He asks.

You just smile akwardly. "You will see when we open the bean bags." You say out loud, before quietly adding: "These goblins spawn from an infinity portal."

You appoint them to bean bags, a bucket and a trash bag, explaining what exactly they are supposed to do.

"I don't get why you need our help for that." Epel mumbles, opening up one of the bean bags, only for the small styrofoam balls to jump all over the place, flowing out of the hole like a waterfall.

Deuce is quick to react holding up the trash bag to make sure most of the small particles didn't drop on the floor. Good thing you had planned ahead with the boxes.

Epel closes the bean back up, placing it on the side carefully placing his hand in the trash bag. "WOAH! Guy's, it's like touchin' nothin'!" Deuce also carefully places his hand in the bag, his eyes growing wide.

"That is what child me always dreamed off!" He exclaimed smiling. Ace, to the suprise of Jack, also opened up the bag, eagerly watching the small white balls fill the container underneath.

"WAA! Ace! Couldn't you have waited until I opened the bag?" He grumbles his tail swishing over the floor in a disappointed manner. The orange haired boy doesn't seem to be bothered by this at all, rather he too grabs a fist full of bean bag stuffing, watching it fall through his hands.

"Guys, please. Don't play with the stuffing, it can and will get all over the place." You grumble. The boxes from the two pairs had already been filled halfway and the bean bag hadn't even deflated.

"Sebek, may you do me the honours of opening the bean bag?" You ask, holding up your trash bag expectantly. Sebek does as he is told and everything goes well.....

until......

"Uhh, Sebek? There are quite a few of styrofoam balls on your arm." Deuce pointed out, looking over to you and the green haired guy. Sebek looks over to his arm, and correct! It is covered in small little white dots.

"You are almost like a magnet for these goblins." You mutter, inspected the styrofoam carefully. Sebek rolls his eyes dusting his sleeve off. "It's not like anything happens when I touch them."

Oh, how wrong he was. It didn't even take about too seconds and it already felt like the styrofoam dots were multiplying. It was kinda ridiculous to watch Sebek fight with small round particles as if they were annoying flys.

But that peace was not ment to last and Sebeks little magnetism problem had been the omen for it. Ace and Jack manage to empty the bean bag content over the floor and while Deuce and Epel rip their trash bag.

The worst thing of it all?

The seats just didn't want to empty, by the time the whole dorm was covered in styrofoam the bags still had half of their contents. It also didn't help that the small the balls stick to every possible surface, or jump all over the place.

"Now I finally get why you called them Goblins!" Jack explains, aggressively trying to shake off the white dots on his tail. You sigh almost defeated, not realising it could get that much worse.

"Uhh, prefect? Is it normal that the bean bags just keep emptying even when no one is holding up the bag?" Ace asks pointing his finger at the three bean bags that seemed have spawned an infinite styrofoam glitch.

"Oh, fuck! The goblins are escaping!" You get a hold of your trash bag. "Everyone grab something and shovel as many balls into them as you can!" You command, immediately starting to do so.

But it didn't help.

The room was basically drowning in styrofoam.

"WE NEED TO CALL OUR DORMHEADS NOW! OTHERWISE THE GOBLINS WILL MURDER US!"Epel screeched, trying to get a hold of his phone. You and the other first years do the same. But the room continues to fill up.

"No! I am getting sucked under!" Deuce yells, slowly getting covered in styrofoam. How it was possible? You had no idea, he wasn't even the shortest here.

"Oh Deuce! My brother! Why did the goblingps have to take you from me! I DECLARE WAR O N THE STYROFOAM!" Ace exclaimed, dramatically reaching his fists towards the sky.

"Human, stop screaming nonsense. We just need to find a door and open it." Sebek tries to reason, bit even Jack is starting to feel uncomfortable.

"Yeah, we must make it our goal to reach the outside door!" Jack commands, starting to make his way to one corner of the room. He might would have succeeded if Epel hadn't dramatically gone under, making him try to save him.

Now it was only You, Sebek and Ace.

Sebek fight through the unholy amount of styrofoam balls. "Who would have though that these dangerous goblins would live in comfortable seating spaces?" He gritted his teeth.

"It's just we three now. We need to save ourselves and the others." Ace mutters, heroic flicking a few goblins off his shoulder. You nood I agreement. Together you guys try to find a way out, which proves to be difficult as everything was starting to look the same.

Suddenly you feel like your getting pulled under. "Oh, my dear comrades. It seems like my time has come... please never stop fighting." Tears are starting to form in your eyes and Ace and Sebeks. "You must win this war. AVENGE US!" Is the last thing you say, before completely going under.

Present:

"And that's what happened." Jack akwardly chuckles. The only thing the dorm leaders do is stare in disbelief. They had expected everything but a fight against.... styrofoam....

And now that it turned out to be actually true they couldn't help but laugh. Neither the other first years nor you took any offense to that. You were just lucky Grim had decided to fall asleep in the bedroom. It would have been a pain to get rid of the plastic in his fur.

"Well, now that we're here already, we might as well help you clean up." Riddle sighs in disappointment, flicking his magic pen swiftly. Thanks to the Dorm leaders, Ramshackle quickly becomes a livable space again.

You look over to the many bags on the floor. "It is not over yet." You mutter ominously, grabbing one of the bags.

"What are you doing?" You are asked and you look out the window determined.

"We must bring this bag of goblin children to the trash can and beg him for a life of peace without fighting the goblins." You exclaim, holding the bag up high.

Who ever was walking past the containers that day would be suprised by the first years, standing in a circle, muttering prayers to a trash bag,

But that is a story for a diffrent time.....

[astro-stars]

First years convos (1)

The cafeteria buzzed with its usual lunchtime energy, but one table in particular stood out—the one occupied by Yuu and the first-year chaos squad. Ace, Deuce, Jack, Epel, and Yuu had gathered once again for their daily dose of questionable conversations and hearty laughter. Today’s topics promised to be even more chaotic than usual.

“Alright,” Ace said, leaning forward with a smirk, “serious question: if you could have any superpower but it came with a ridiculous drawback, what would you pick?”

Deuce scratched his head. “Uh… super strength, but I’d have to sneeze every time I use it?”

“Lame,” Epel said, waving a hand. “I’d want to turn invisible, but only when I’m holding my breath.”

Jack frowned. “That’s not practical.”

“None of this is practical,” Yuu pointed out with a laugh. “I’d want to talk to animals, but the drawback would be that they’d all gossip about me.”

“Shrimpy, you’re already living that one,” Ace teased, and Yuu threw a napkin at him.

Jack crossed his arms. “I’d pick super speed, but the drawback is I have to eat five times as much.”

“You already eat a lot,” Epel said, grinning.

“That’s why it’d work,” Jack replied, deadpan.

“Next topic,” Deuce said, clearly eager to contribute. “If you could swap places with any of the housewardens for a day, who would it be?”

“Vil,” Epel said immediately. “I’d banish all the fancy skincare rules for one day. Live free.”

Ace snorted. “I’d pick Leona. Dude spends all his time sleeping anyway, so it’d be an easy day.”

“You wouldn’t last five minutes in Savannaclaw,” Jack said.

“You’re just mad ‘cause I’m right,” Ace shot back.

“What about you, Yuu?” Deuce asked.

Yuu thought for a moment. “Probably Riddle. I’d want to see what it’s like to run Heartslabyul without a single rule for one day.”

“The dorm would burn down,” Ace said, and everyone burst into laughter.

“Okay, okay,” Epel said, wiping tears from his eyes. “What’s the weirdest food combination you’ve ever tried?”

“I dipped fries in ice cream once,” Deuce admitted sheepishly.

“That’s not weird,” Yuu said. “It’s delicious. I’ve done it too.”

“Pickles and peanut butter,” Epel said, grinning. “It’s better than you think.”

“Nope, nope, nope,” Ace said, shaking his head. “I’m not even entertaining that one.”

Jack shrugged. “Raw eggs in milk. It’s a protein thing.”

“You’re terrifying,” Yuu said, staring at him.

“Alright,” Ace said, leaning back. “Last question: if you could fight any mythical creature and win, what would it be?”

“Kraken,” Deuce said without hesitation. “It’d be awesome.”

“A chimera,” Jack said. “It’s got a lion, a goat, and a snake. Beating one would be a real challenge.”

“You guys are too serious,” Ace said. “I’d fight a unicorn. What’s it gonna do? Stab me with glitter?”

“You’d lose,” Epel said, smirking. “Unicorns are supposed to be super strong.”

“What about you, Yuu?” Deuce asked.

Yuu grinned. “A dragon. If I win, I’d make it my friend.”

“That’s cheating,” Ace said. “You’re supposed to fight it, not make friends with it.”

“Why not both?” Yuu replied, and the table dissolved into laughter.

As the lunch hour ticked by, the topics grew more ridiculous and the laughter louder. By the time they left the cafeteria, they were all wiping tears from their eyes and clutching their sides from laughing too hard. Another day, another chaotic lunch for the first-year crew.

TAGLIST: @soramcduckahyucky @lunasmisosoup

DIVIDER: me!!

[mizuki-nautilus]

The Dragon slayer - Malleus Draconia x Reader

So, I thought it would be fun to write a short fanfiction inspired by the popular joke about MC and Malleus having a relationship like Donkey and the Dragoness from Shrek. Of course, this fanfic does not have spoilers from Diasomnia Chapter and is more a parody of Shrek.

The long-awaited apocalyptic event has occurred in this magical realm. Malleus Draconia, the one and only, has finally overblotted, leaving the survival rate of the people living in this world near to 0%.

As the end drew near, all hope seemed lost. But amidst the chaos and the desperate attempts to calm the raging flames of Malleus, Ace's voice cut through the turmoil. "[Y/N]!!!!!! DO YOUR THING!!!" he cried out in desperation. Confused and scared, [Y/N] searched frantically for a safe place to take cover. "WHAT?! What do you mean?!!" she yelled back, barely audible over the roar of the flames. "DON’T ACT STUPID AND DO YOUR THING!!!!" Ace repeated, his voice shaking with urgency.

Despite [Y/N]'s attempts to feign ignorance, she was well aware of what Ace was referring to. She may have tried to act as if nothing was going on, but the truth was that a lot was happening between her and Malleus. Prior to the current catastrophic events, [Y/N] and Malleus had developed a close bond, one that could be described as somewhat cheesy. Though they weren't officially a couple, it was clear that they were for sure a few steps to become one.

And it's not that [Y/N] lacked the courage to flirt with the man of her dreams. Rather, it was the embarrassment of doing so in front of her closest friends. "Sorry, Ace! I didn't hear you!" [Y/N] lied, trying to play it cool. "OH MY GOD, [Y/N], JUST DO AS ACE SAID!!!!" Deuce desperately interjected into the conversation.

“Fuck!” [Y/N] cursed. Amidst the debris, broken pillars, thorn vines, and green flames, [Y/N] sprinted as close as possible towards Malleus, cursing under her breath. As she reached him, she stood before his intimidating frame and trembled before saying, "HEY! Tsunotarou!!!"

[Y/N] stood frozen in fear as his eyes bore into hers, his icy green gaze sending shivers down her spine. The room was enveloped by Malleus's intimidating presence, overshadowing everything and everyone. Tension hung heavy in the air, as he advanced towards her with measured steps that resounded ominously on the ground.

In a voice that seemed to rattle the very walls around them, Malleus spoke to her, his words dripping with anger and disdain, "Child of man…" [Y/N] stammered and stuttered, trying to find the right words to say. "Y-you… um… your teeth… they're… so big!" she blurted out, causing everyone else in the room to facepalm in unison, except for Malleus who remained stoic.

"I MEAN!! White sparkling teeth!!" [Y/N] tried to correct herself, her words stumbled, and her movements became awkward. She even tried to pose seductively, but it only added to the cringe-worthy moment. Grim, unable to believe how bad she was at this, muttered under his breath, "Oh my god, we really are going to die."

After pondering for a moment, [Y/N] spoke up again, "I bet you use some kind of powerful teeth whitening, because your smile is absolutely dazzling." [Y/N] tried to smile back, "And is that a hint of mint I detect? Your dental hygiene must be impeccable." As [Y/N]'s cringe-worthy compliments echoed through the room, everyone winced in discomfort. However, a glimmer of hope emerged as the green flames that had engulfed the college began to subside.

“You are undoubtedly the most HANDSOME dragon in this world,” [Y/N] boldly proclaimed, after that she followed it up with a painfully cringe-worthy joke, "You know if you were a vegetable, you'd be a cute-cumber." but even if words stumbled out of her mouth and caused the room to fall silent with secondhand embarrassment the thing seem to work out.

As they watched in amazement, Malleus's menacing expression softened into a tender and affectionate gaze, thanks to [Y/N]'s miraculously effective but cringe-worthy attempts at flirting. It was hard to believe that the unapproachable Malleus Draconia could be charmed by [Y/N]'s terrible flirting skills, but here we are.

Suddenly, Malleus spoke [Y/N]'s name tenderly and reached out to delicately touch her cheek. As his hand made contact, the thorn vines surrounding them began to bloom, filling the room with a lovely scent and enchanting sight of red roses. Some petals even seemed to float through the air, creating an otherworldly atmosphere.

As Malleus leaned in towards [Y/N], the shattered remains of the building suddenly began to repair themselves, piece by piece, until everything was restored to its former glory. The world around them faded into insignificance as their lips met, and at that moment, time stood still. The air was thick with the fragrance of roses, and petals danced around them like confetti. And then, just as suddenly as it had begun, the world snapped back into focus, and Malleus and [Y/N] were gone, leaving behind five opened-mouth people.

Ace began to speak, but was interrupted by Deuce who interjected with the words, "Yes, Ace. It happened," leaving Deuce himself perplexed. Ortho then chimed in, cutely stating that he had everything recorded on his built-in 4K camera, knowing that the cringe moment they had just witnessed could be of use to Idia some day. "That was like a scene from some underground visual novel. I never thought things like that actually happened in real life," said Idia, still dumbfounded.

And with that, our charming heroine was able to rescue this realm from its impending doom.

The End.

[sunenjoyswriting]

Suspiciously romantic…

Writers note: SEND ME A REQUEST PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE… FUCK IT I MIGHT EVEN MAKE MY RULES LESS STRICT IF IT MEANS MORE REQUESTS- anyways I made Floyd and reader kinda similar because it fit the idea. But they’re also different enough??

Possible warnings: Floyd being Floyd, you know? Also, not an actual warning, but reader is Yuu in this one.

Summary: Floyd isn’t a romantic person by any means, so it was very suspicious that he randomly decided to go over to ramshackle to give you some roses.

Floyd wasn’t one for romance. It was too serious for his tastes, probably. You weren’t a particular romantic either, so it didn’t matter that much. If anything, that made you two a better match…

But that also made any of his random romantic acts particularly suspicious.

So when he came to your dorm with roses, you knew that it wasn’t for nothing.

“… what are the roses for?” You asked, clearly suspicious of him as he tried handing the roses over (you didn’t take them.)

“Is it suspicious that I’m trying to be romantic, Koebi-Chan~?” Floyd asked, a fake sadness plastered in his voice when you didn’t take the roses,

“It’s you, Floyd, of course it’s suspicious.” You replied, sighing at his clearly faked sadness.

“Awhh… I really just wanted to gift you some roses, I swear~!” Floyd replied.

“… whatever you say, Floyd. Whatever you say.” You said, sarcastically.

You really wanted to shut the door on him, but you couldn’t just do that to your boyfriend… no matter how annoying.

“Don’t be so mean, Koebi-Chan! You’re making me so sad by not taking my flowers…” He said, still trying to sound sad.

“Fine~ I’ll take the flowers! Just stop the sad voice, Floyd…” You replied, (quite forcefully) taking the roses from him.

“Fufu…~ I’m sure you’ll adore the roses, Koebi-Chan!” Floyd replied, the fake sad voice quickly turning happy.

Right as he walked away, you realized he was supposed to be on shift right now… he was just using those roses to try to stall his time away from work, wasn’t he…

~ The End ~

[mihiigonscepaternampeccavi]

“Divus Crewel!~”

Scenario: Gn!reader pissed off at divus and sings Cruella de Vil.

Pronouns: you/I

“Professor Crewel hates me, I tell you!” I groan, exasperated, sitting down on my seat with a slump.

“I’m sure that’s not true, he’s just looking out for you!” Deuce reasoned, munching on cookies.

“As if! Headmaster Crowley is already making [ ]’s life a living hell! Professor Crewel’s just making it worse.” Ace snarked, looking up from his phone as he laid, sprawled on the couch.

“Ace, darling! You’ve given me a brilliant idea!” Turning to my piano and smiling at grim funnily.

“You’re not serious, are you?” Grim whined, “oh you know I am!” Giggling I pick Grim up and put him down on the rug.

“Whatcha doin, prefect?” He looked, curious and confused.

“Writing a song my dear Perdita!” giggling you turn to the piano, wondering.

“Perdita?” Deuce was clueless while Ace laughed loudly. “Prefect, you’re kidding!” He bawls, laughing.

“Oh shush, my darling Pongo!” I smiled, “Plus! My dear Perdita is the calmer one.” I grinned and started a tune as Ace’s mouth flew open.

“That’s mean, prefect! Also, what would grim be if we’re the dogs?” Ace grinned as Deuce was still confused.

“He’d be more than fit to be a dozen puppies. He eats much more than one puppy anyway!” Smirking, I continued my tune.

“Mrhah!!! No fair! I need cans of tuna for compensation!”

Smiling, I continued. “Divus Crewel… Divus Crewel! If he doesn’t scare you, no evil thing will…”

“LMAO PREFECT?!” Ace fell on the floor, in tears

“Ace, darling! That isn’t a flattering look!~” shaking I resumed, “to see him is to take a sudden chill… Divus, Divus Crewel! Hah!~” I glanced at Deuce, winking. His face getting hot as Ace kept laughing.

“The curl of his lips, the ice in his stare! All innocent students had better, beware!” You gave in and laughed, unbeknownst to you four, Dire had come with Divus to give you an order.

Their eyes shooting up as they heard you singing.

“He’s like a spider waiting for the ki-ill~” I dragged my fingers through the keys as the door opened without my knowledge. “Look out, for… Divus Crewel!”

I continued singing, not realising Ace had gone quiet and the doors had opened.

“At first you’d think Divus is the devil! Bap bada~ but after time has worn away the shock!!” Giggling I sang even louder.

“You’ve come to realise, you’ve seen his kind of eyes… watching you from underneath the rock!” I guffawed, still irritated with the professor.

“This vampire bat,” I rolled my eyes, as the two staffs’ eyes had bugged out and mouths were wide open. “This inhuman beast, he oughta be locked up and never released!”

“This school was such a wholesome place unti-il~ Divus, Divus Crewel! Haha!” Finally noticing the silence you look at Deuce and Ace.

“Why so quiet, Perdita, Pongo?” I smiled as I noticed their panicked eyes.

“Ahem… Ramshackle Prefect.”

“…kill me?”

[twstfanblog]

!*~Valentine's Times~*! pt 4

A/N: This is all crack and just little things that popped into my head while making this fic that I couldn't find a place to put. Have fun! Word Count: 2.6K Warnings: She/They Pronoun OC, Swearing, Mild Spicy at the end, Word Vomit Crack Ideas Pairings: Poly Yuu/Azul/Jamil/Malleus, Riddle/Floyd, Jade/Trey, Ruggie/Leona, Epel/Deuce/Jack/Ace/Sebek, Sebek/Silver, Cater/Idia, Rook/Vil

L (Here). O (Heartslabyul, Savanaclaw, Octavinelle). V (Scarabia, Pomefiore, Ignihyde, Diasomnia). E (Here)

E is even more than anyone that you adore...

Sam huffs, looking down at Grim as the dire beast struggled to drag his multiple bags of treats out of his store, “...You know for an extra fee-”

“NO! I DON'T NEED IT!”

“Alright then…” Sam grabs his own bag of chocolate, snapping a bones in half with his teeth. Sure watching Grim was slow and kinda sad, but it was a form of entertainment.

Deuce entered the Heartslabyul kitchen, smiling as he saw Trey standing in front of the ovens, “Ah! Clover-Senpai you aren't busy. Yuu's here and they said they have something for us.”

Trey remained silence, eyes unblinking as they watched the numerous cakes in the oven.

“...” Deuce’s eyes glance at the ovens before turning back to Trey, “Clover-Senpai?” At Trey's continued silence Deuce grows worried. After a few more moments of silence he snaps his fingers in front of Trey’s face, nearly jumping out of his skin as Trey suddenly breathes in.

Trey blinks rapidly, looking around the room, “Huh? What? Deuce?...What did you need?”

“Were you asleep!?”

“No…ok, I was resting my eyes. But, I have a timer set.”

“Senpai, your eyes were open…”

Riddle knelt below a second story window of Heartslabyul, fiddling with a tube at his feet.

Trey walked from the side, “Ah, there you are. The party is starting. Do you want to greet the other students?”

Looking up, Riddle sighed at seeing the number of bite marks littering Trey’s arms and neck, “I see you gifted Jade his chocolate.”

“He was…excited. Are you going to be giving Floyd his chocolate?”

“Was just about to.” Riddle smiles, holding up the tube to reveal it was a tshirt cannon with his bag of chocolate as the ammo.

“...Riddle, just give Floyd the chocolate.”

Riddle lines up his shot, aiming directly at Floyd's head where he stood pouting beside his brother teasingly holding his own treats, “This is the only safe way…”

Rook smiles at Vil's bag of chocolate, “I wasn't aware mon vieille amor could tie such intricate knots! Truly beautiful.”

Vil hums from his vanity, toying with having his hair up or down, “Oh…no. Tulip did the bows apparently…”

“...” Rook racked his mind, but the name wasn't finding a face, “Tulip?”

“You don't remember Tulip?” Vil looked questioningly at Rook through the mirror, “Do you recall our first ‘date'?”

“Oui! We went for a lovely walk through the Pomefiore woods at sunset….”

“And you remember what happened on said date?”

Rook sighed, placing his cheek in his palm as he remembered that faithful walk, “Oui… a bird flew out from the bush and in its panic attacked you. A thousand apologies that I could not protect you back then mon roi…”

“You've long been forgiven Rook. But yes…‘A bird’ flew into my face and basically assaulted me while also managing to rip off a noticeable length of my uniform.” 

“So, how does this Tulip fit into this?”

“Tulip was the ‘bird’…”

Jade made sure to keep his palm open, though he so deeply wanted to clench his fist around the forage fairy. A desperate voice in his head (that sounded oddly similar to Trey Clover) screamed that forage fairies did not like being gripped. But, he wanted to know what the fairy would do if he did…no…he had riddles to solve.

Riddles that were quickly sidetracked by Jade showing the fairy his assortment of terrariums, the fairy excitedly pointing at the mushrooms. But soon, Jade remembered the promised location of the unseen mushrooms. Franklin looked at him with a wide eyed stare, only to gestured to his phone.

Jade gave the device to the small fairy. Clearly the fairy was going to use a text program to write out the riddles since they weren't able to communicate verbally. But, looking at his phone from the corner of his eyes he had to fight back the urge to cackle. Franklin was using his phone to google ‘Riddles for Children’.

Malleus beamed from his place at the table. He had no idea why Jamil was scolding Azul, but he was content with his grouping of lovers.

Azul clears his throat, finally verbally lashed into submission, “Any how. Yuu, we have your gifts.”

“Bout time.”

“Stop being rude.” Jamil hands Yuu a wrapped present. Watching them open it with a nervous eye.

Yuu opens the gift to be delighted. A set of bangles, each molded to resemble snakes whined into a loose loop, “I love them!” They slip the bangles on, instantly shaking their wrist around to hear them jingle, “Now you can hear me coming.”

Azul mutters under his breath, “Thank the Seven…anyhow here's my gift.”

Massive teardrop pearl earrings dangling from seashell themed clasps. Yuu hums, holding them closer to look at every detail, “I need an outfit to go with these earrings you know~.”

“Yes, yes. I'm aware.” Azul smiles, looking to the side, “I've already selected a few outfits.”

Jamil raises an eyebrow, clicking his tongue when Azul only teasingly smiles at him.

Malleus smiles, proudly presenting his gift to Yuu. Waiting patiently as they opened it. 

“...Malleus, I love you so much, but I can't wear this.”

“Why not?” Malleus pouted, eyebrows furrowing in both confusion and discontent.

Yuu reaches into the box, pulling out an ornate tiara themed after the dark fae covered in glittering gems, “Malleus, the person I will become if I put this on my head is an actual danger to the well being of people around us.”

Azul leaned over the table, eyes wide as he drank in every gem on the crown. Jamil hiss whispered to Malleus, “We agreed on simple jewelry.”

“It is. This is one of my grandmother's less formal tiaras.”

Idia and Cater sat in a hidden corner of the maze, a few turns away from the main party. They sat in silence, each with an arm entwined as they tapped away at their phones. Cater hums, holding his phone to catch Idia’s attention.

“Look babe. An artist I follow did a Valentine's pic of that character you like.”

Idia’s eyes widen, a smile pulling across his face, “Ah…send me the link. I have to save that pic. It's so hard to find people who can draw his hair right…”

Cater chuckles and sends the link, “Well his hair is literally just water, it kind of leaves it open to how ever you draw water…”

“Ok, but it's literally-”

They both jump at the sound of loud, cackling laughter and the sound of snapping branches. Cater untensing first as he recognized the sound of his housewarden demanding Floyd cease his actions, “Guess Floyd finally caught Riddle…”

“Idk how you deal with this level of wild every day. I would have crumbled from the constant social crits…”

From their tucked away corner, the two could see a smug looking Floyd sporting a black eye walking through the maze. A ruffled and leaf covered Riddle slung over his shoulder like a prized hunt.

Cater sighs, leaning to rest his head against Idia’s shoulder and intertwine their hands together; pretending to not notice his boyfriend’s hair turning a bright shade of pink, “You get used to it.”

Maleficia stared into the box. A Valentine's gift from the human child her grandson had fallen for. Odd, yet not fully unwelcomed. No matter what the council said, this could only be seen as a sign of goodwill and hope for a strong familiar bond in their future.

So she put on the gaudily colored ring, its stone massive yet illy cut. The girl was poor, it was most likely the best she could afford and Maleficia will praise her efforts. But the ring also gave off a sugary fruit smell, one that (shamefully) urged her to bring the ring to her mouth and lick it.

She exclaims in surprise, turning to one of the maids beside her. With a smile she lifts her hand, showing the servant the brightly red gemmed ring on her finger, “It tastes of candied cherries.”

Jamil buried his face in his hands, “You sent the reigning queen of Briar Valley a Ring Pop.”

“A cherry Ring Pop. Because she's worth it.” Yuu turns to Malleus, the fae clearly delighted by the very idea of his grandmother being gifted children's candy, “I thought blue raspberry, but that might have been too wild for her.”

“Blue raspberries in the valley are poisonous. So, yes, that would have been a bad idea.

Azul pushes up his glasses, “Well now I want to know what you sent my mother…”

“A bunch of those octo truffles I made you. Plus a note stating that was how many grandkids we were gonna make.”

Azul spurts, barely catching Malleus’s approving hum and Jamil’s small nod, “Yuu!”

“What? I know what that woman wants to hear. It's literally why she tried to trick you into proposing already.”

Jamil rolls his eyes, “What did you send my family?”

“Oh I sent Najma and your dad some really high end chocolates Kalim recommended. Your mom got a delightful edible arrangement of chocolate dipped persimmons.”

“...” Jamil squinted his eyes, frown deepening at Yuu, “My mom hates persimmons…”

Yuu nods, “ I know. But she doesn't know I know that.”

“Stop engaging in psychological warfare with my mother…”

“No. It's how we bond”

“Father, please.”

Lilia pouted, almost fully folding his face in half, “Another year…another trip around the sun…another season with no love from my precious boy…”

Silver sighs, looking to the side, “Father those cards weren’t even good.”

“I miss when you were a baby…”

Kalim appeared at their table, “Lilia! I have a gift for you!” He produced a glitter filled piece of construction paper, “Since you said you missed getting them, I made you a homemade Valentine!”

“...” Lilia fanned his face, crocodile tears appearing in the corner of his eyes, “Oh Kalim…you persona of the sun…You’ve eased my heart…”

Silver leans over to whisper, “Truly, thank you for this. He was becoming insufferable.”

“You’re welcome?”

“I see the Leech got you.”

Riddle scowled up at Leona, his hair a mess and leaves scattered in his hair, “He tackled me into a bush…”

“Maybe little guys like you shouldn’t be fucking such big predators?”

“I don’t think size is the problem.” Riddle smirked up at Leona’s questioning glare.

“The hell does that mean?”

“I’ve just noticed that Bucchi has gold dust on his hands.”

“And?”

“Oh, so you are unaware of the gold hand prints on the seat of your pants.”

“...”

Rook tilted his head, staring as Vil glared at a single chocolate crown, “Mon roi? Is there a problem with your chocolates?”

“I know Yuu…something is wrong with these though I don’t know how much they’ve messed with them…” Vil hummed under his breath before smiling. He waves Epel over, ignoring the lavender haired boy groaning and leaving his table.

“What?”

Vil hands Epel the crown in his hand, “Happy Valentine’s Day. Have fun with your boys.”

Epel raises an eyebrow, but smiles and moves to toss the whole chocolate into his mouth, “Don’t gotta tell me twice…” He only chews for a few moments before his face sours and he starts to hack and spit the chocolate out, “Why is this filled with mayo!?”

Vil smirks at Rook, “And that’s how you out smart a trickster…” He puts another crown into his mouth, scowling and instantly spiting it out into a napkin when he bites into another mayo filled chocolate.

Rook smiles, batting his eyelashes, “I’ve learned so much.”

Yuu looked at their boyfriends, “What are you guys doing later tonight? I would have thought you’d be trying to convince me to do a private dinner with you.”

Jamil raised an eyebrow, “Didn’t you tell us, and I quote, ‘I love you guys, but leave me the fuck alone after the Valentine’s day party’?”

“Well I still thought you’d try to convince me.”

Azul pushes up his glasses, a small smile on his face as his pride pushed through, “We’re all having a private dinner at the lounge.”

“...” Yuu beams, hands slapping against the table, “Are you guys going on a date? Without me!?”

Malleus laughs, bringing a hand to his mouth, “You sound so excited…”

“I am!” They giggle, cupping their cheeks, “Aw~ My boyfriends are going on a date with each other!”

Jamil shook his head, “If the me of a year could see me now, I would not believe this was how my life would end up…”

Azul smiles, placing a hand over Jamil’s, “Our lives.”

“Azul, I could end both of us, right here, right now.”

Epel chugged his drink, trying to erase the taste of mayo.

Deuce raised an eyebrow to Sebek, “Are you going to sit with us the whole party? I know you and Silver are together, too.”

Sebek nodded, one hand holding onto Jack’s hand, “There’s no need to worry. Silver and I made out for an hour and cuddled before we left for the party.”

Ace tilted his head, offering Epel a chocolate from their shared pile of gifted treats, “The fact you and Silver have your relationship down to a schedule is so…weird…”

“How is it weird? I have my time between you four and Silver perfectly balanced. I’m able have plenty of dates with you all and a majority of my Diasomnia hours are spent with Silver. Healthy balance.”

Epel finished his drink, grabbing the chocolate and chewing with his mouth open, “Sebek, honestly, the fact you’re managing to fuck and have a relationship with five people while also having good grades? You’re a fucking god.”

Ace clicks his tongue, “What like we’re not doing the same thing?”

Jack speaks up, “Aren’t you failing english?”

Ortho sat at a table, eyes creased in joy as his brother and Cater returned from their ‘social recharge’. The First Year crew had each giving his a kiss on his forehead or cheek. Giving him a new total of  ten kisses counting both Kalim and Lilia’s added kisses. Looking around the party, ortho quickly floated to Rook and Vil, “Vil Schoenheit! May I request something of you?”

Vil blinked, “Of course Ortho. What did you need?”

“May I please have a Valentine’s day kiss? I am hoping to collect one from all of my loved ones on campus.”

Rook gasps, smiling as he held his hands up, “How bold! May I gift you a kiss Monsieur Wonder?”

“We are not that close.”

Both Rook and Vil stifled their laughs, “Fair.”

Vil smiles, tucking his hair back as he leaned over and pressed a kiss to the center of Ortho’s forehead, leaving behind a plum colored kiss mark, “There you are. One kiss of affection.”

“Thank you! I will leave you both to your date!”

Vil waved, “I’ll see you at the club meeting this weekend.”

The party lasted longer than Yuu had expected it to. But soon everyone had vacated the Heartslabyul garden and gone on to finish or start their own private Valentine’s Day plans. Yuu returned home, smiling at seeing Grim passed out on the lounge couch surrounded by a pile of opened and half eaten snacks. They took the time to make sure he was cozily wrapped in a blanket (and not in danger of dying in his sleep via throwing up and choking on the atomic amount of junk food) before going to their bedroom.

Just as Sam had stated their package was on their bed, a plain brown box with no indication of where or what it was. Yuu smiled, opening it and seeing the plethora of sex toys they had carefully picked and purchased, “Self-love is true love…”

Two in love can make it. Take my heart and please don't break it. Cause L.O.V.E. was made for me and you~

[soy-soi-si]

TW : mentions of usage/ownership of drugs

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓  

「Jade is just a little drugged rn, wtf do I do???」

@ y/nthe1_4ubb 𝑇𝑎𝑔𝑔𝑒𝑑

@ Squeezer & @ Scammer

@ scammer

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓  

「Is he breathing?」

@ squeezer

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「my weed or his shrooms?」

@ y/nthe1_4ubb

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「He took my pills on accident. I mean he's breathing but he's acting like a normal person, I DON'T FEEL SAFE.」

@ squeezer

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「Run」

@ Scammer

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「Run」

@ y/nthe1_4ubb

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「W THE HSEHHE」

@ sociopath

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「Y/n is now already half way to the lounge from her dorm. She'll be on time for her shift surely.」

@ CAULDRON

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「You guys are evil.」

@ -1Braincell

╰┈➤𝑁𝑒𝑤 𝑚𝑒𝑠𝑠𝑎𝑔𝑒!✎ᝰ↓ 

「When aren't they?」

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