#tw; anxiety

[ajokeformur-ray]

GOOD personal news!!!! (I am Proud™️ of myself)!!!!!

So, okay. I am slightly hesitant to share this in case it's only temporary, but @darklylucid very kindly told me to share it because it's good news and it's something to be proud of!!!❤️

TW; talks of negative anti-depressant side effects and me being irresponsible with prescribed medication, mentions of nausea and bad periods, mentions of health anxieties such as being sick as a result of medications and self-starvation (it's all because meds made me feel so sick I couldn't eat etc.), talks and discussions of stress, anxiety, depression and cognitive behavioural therapy, talks of doctors visits, one mention of covid boosters and bad side effects from that, one mention of passive suicidal ideation, this is a positive post but please read with caution if anything in this tw paragraph may upset or offend you!

I started therapy for my stress and severe anxiety five weeks ago. When I started, my anxiety and depression scores were both at 21/21. I was, essentially, a walking anxiety attack experiencing passive suicidal ideation.

Today, two weeks after uni officially started and five weeks after starting therapy, I scored 12/21 for both anixety and depression for the third week in a row, meaning both have improved to being moderate without medication!!!

(We all remember the absolute fear surrounding that fiasco and I still say medication wasn't the right treatment plan for me. I do have a prescription but I never picked it up and I won't pick it up because of how bad the physical side effects were. The nausea got so bad I was actively starving myself for seven weeks because I couldn't eat anything, while in the middle of end of year assignments and my job pulling me in for overtime constantly. My health anxiety, generalised anxiety and lifestyle couldn't sustain it. Everyone told me to "give it time", but after seven weeks of the worst periods I've ever had in my life and of constant nausea, I couldn't take it anymore so I quit my medication cold turkey without consulting my doctor. The medication was hurting me and not even working; I felt worse physically and mentally and my anxiety was still there, except I also felt like a zombie. I was offered a different medication but I never picked up the prescription for it out of fear that this would continue, since all SSRIs have the same side effects. I have told my therapist this and though she doesn't know any details beyond "I don't want to take it", she supports my decision. A week after I stopped my medication, my periods returned to normal and the nausea disappeared, my appetite came back and I felt better. I refuse to try again and have decided to focus on my therapy as the treatment plan. Medication isn't right for me and that's okay.)

I don't know if this improvement in my anxiety and depression is because of the therapy or because I now wake up at 3am to study before I go to work, which means that I study when I am fresh and well-rested, go to work, then come home and only have to relax, which means more free time. This decreases my stress, which lowers my anxiety and therefore improves my depression (my anxiety was so severe it caused the depression; they are not two separate conditions in my case), and means I can eat and sleep better and more.

The lifestyle switch and therapy both started at the same time, so I can't say for sure which has led to the improvement in my mental well-being, but I find myself not caring all that much. I am healing, I am doing well, I have had one anxiety attack in the last month, and that's... the news I wanted to share. My hair is gorgeous, I am eating and sleeping well, I am happier, healthier, I am not behind in uni, therapy is helping me... I'm not perfect, that would mean I don't exist, but I am healing and in a good place right now. I'm not sure if this is temporary, since uni has just started and I won't know until Christmas since that's when they throw us in at the deep end with the syllabus, but I still wanted to share this news.

I didn't think I could handle therapy, uni and my job at the same time, let alone looking for work experience in the mental health sector, but here I am, doing what I thought I couldn't, and dare I say it... I'm happy. I caught myself smiling while brushing my hair this morning, and apart from a few weeks ago when the covid booster gave me chest pains for a week, I can't remember the last time I had a tight chest due to stress and/or anxiety.

I can't thank you all enough for your friendships, encouragement, love, support, comments, asks... you've all helped me so so much, you do help me, and now I'm feeling better, I'm going to be looking at focusing on writing again. Especially since I'm not sure if this is temporary or not - but I feel hopeful for the future and for myself, for the first time in... a decade or so. I think I'm gonna be okay and right now, at least, I'm proud of myself.❤️

[ssolessurvivor]

✘ from Nyra

touch Logan's scars - always accepting! - @incissam

Logan still didn't know if he'd ever tell her. While they'd been together intimately before or in various stages of undress, something about today was different. Even when she'd caught him changing, they'd simply gravitated towards one another in a way that seemed normal. His sweet Nyra wandered over and let a hand come to touch his chest, where the scars ended.

Just as she'd taken her hand away, Logan stopped her: placed both his hands over her own to his chest. Silently saying: it's ok.

Yet even as he allows his head to tilt down, to watch her fingers trace the ugly raised lines once his hands had fallen to his sides, he allows himself a curiosity. Would he ever tell her unless she asks? Sure, she'd seen his little shrine on the bookshelf of his crew and the time on Mimas, but...she hadn't said anything just yet. Her hand shifts to his collarbone but he still gazes at the smoothness of her skin, the thinness of her wrist and flowing into her forearm.

Maybe...today would be...it. Was he ready for that? Surely if he loves her, he would be.

[decrheart]

@seilas x

A rare eye roll at his friend's last comment about owing him. He knew it was a big ask but it wasn't like they weren't always there for each other. Each of them in their own ways, "Sure, Silas..." Whatever made his friend feel better.

"Why don't you two talk it out? Maybe you two can work together?" Shrugged, he knew of the family dynamics were less than ideal. He could relate to some of it. His older brother, Jaxon, is bound to take over the family business but he knows Jaxon's not the right fit for it. However, he's always been disinterested in the family business, it was a tough call he wasn't willing to make just yet. Poked his tongue at his friend, "Ha ha..." Depletedly retorted.

"If that's what it takes, I'll do what I have to, I guess... Our families might have similar upbringings, but... I refuse to do that to my siblings. They deserve to be a kid and to know what fun is. I want them... to have... what I didn't. Okay?" Despite everything he's been through, it was amazing how he continued to keep his spirits up, not just for himself but for others too.

Blinked at the touch of his friend, shoulders tensed, hands began to shake, "I c a n ' t..." Anxiously enunciated, huffed out. It wasn't unusual for him to have a panic attack but it was rare to let someone else see him have one, "What if everything goes wrong? What if they all find out?" He knew Evie would discover them in a second but he was fine with that, he never hid anything from her even if he tried. She was his best friend and sister. "I'm already a failure in their— ohhh nooo, Jaxon. He's gonna be such a jerk too!" He can't believe he thought he was ready for this. "Maybe we can go back?" Not like he'd actually take up on that idea of his.

[thepnwvarmints]

Personal Update: I need to unplug for a few. My anxiety’s thru the roof right now where stuff online is concerned. I’m sorry to those I’ve been DM’ing with recently. I think I just need some time to get outta my head and stop opening up quite so much about my personal life. I have agoraphobia and it amps up if I get into talking about past emotional or physical trauma. My trust issues are obv still messing with me more than I realized. Take care and stay safe. Much love…

-Dax

[happybird16]

Concept: You have the power to inflict a target with horrible, unyielding anxiety and panic attacks at will

However, it is your own banked anxiety magnified. In order to use your power you have to put yourself into situations

[devildomsexting]

It’s okay to have bad days. It’s okay to not be able to explain what’s going on in your head. But I hope that you always have someone who loves you and wants to be there for you like Levi does 🧡

Leviathan x GN!Mc

When you’re feeling down, your boyfriend wants to help, even if he’s new at all of this.

Get access 1 week early to chats like this as well as Patron Exclusive chats by subscribing to my Patreon via the link below🧡

[powdermelonkeg]

Important rules/tips I've learned as an adult that helped with anxiety

If people are mad at you, it's their responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

If they're mad at you in secret anyways, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

If people don't like what you're doing, it's their responsibility to tell you

If they say it's fine when it's really not, they're the ones in the wrong, not you

People are allowed to be wrong about you

If they are wrong about you, wait for them to bring it up, because if you try to, you will inevitably overcorrect

Some people are committed to misunderstanding you. You will not win arguments against them. Yes, even if you explain your point of view. They do not care. Drop it

The worst thing that will happen from a first-time offense is being told not to do it again. Maybe with a replacement if you broke something

You can improve relationships and gauge willingness to talk to you by giving compliments. It's like a daily log-in bonus and nobody thinks twice about it

Most things are better after you sleep on them

Most things are better after you have a meal

Most things are better after you shower

Your brain makes up consequences that are irrational. If the worst DOES come to pass and someone acts like they do in your head, they are overreacting, and you are entitled to say "what the fuck"

If your chest hurts after you feel like you've made a social error, that's called rejection-sensitive dysphoria. It means your anxiety is so bad that it's causing you physical pain, which is a good indicator that you're overreacting. Tense yourself, hold it for 20 seconds, let it go, then find a distraction

If you're suddenly angry at someone after you feel like you made a social error, that's also rejection-sensitive dysphoria. You are going to feel annoyed about it for awhile, but being genuinely pissed off is your anxiety trying to find something to blame to take the responsibility off your shoulders, and getting scared because it can't justify itself. Deep breaths, ask yourself how much you ACTUALLY want to be angry at that person, then find a distraction

"Sour grapes" is more healthy for you than stewing. Deciding you don't like someone who's perpetually annoyed with you, won't talk to you, etc. makes letting go of anxiety over them easier

If people don't like you, they will find reasons to be annoyed with you when they otherwise wouldn't. If people do like you, they will find reasons NOT to be annoyed with you when they otherwise would. People do not ping-pong between the two

You DO have to make a conscious choice not to think about something. If you're having trouble circling back to it, say out loud that you're done thinking about it and why. Then find a distraction

When you're upset, part of you is going to want to make false bids for attention (suddenly texting differently, heavy sighs, etc. but when someone asks you about it, you tell them it's nothing). Do not listen to it. You gain nothing from it except more misery

People like to help people they care about. It makes them feel good about themselves

If you think you're insufferable for needing help, see above. Yes, really. They get a serotonin kick from it

If you think you're insufferable for mannerisms you have, you either have to consciously choose not to do them, or accept that they're part of the package that comes with you. Being apologetic about existing does nothing except make you more miserable

If you do things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it makes it easier to do them when you hate it

If you avoid things you don't like when you feel meh about it, it reinforces and magnifies how bad it feels when you hate it

Seriously. Read those last two points again. If you can make yourself make a phone call when you've got nothing to lose, you will slowly lose that panic you get when you have to make a phone call you haven't prepared for. You do have to CONSCIOUSLY take that step

Hobbies that make you care for something get rid of that nagging feeling that you're not doing enough. Go grow some rosemary

If you don't engage with your hobbies regularly, you will feel miserable, and anxiety will spike

Hobbies are things that give you a bit of happiness. They do not have to be organized or named to do that. Go be creative in something. Play with coins. Make up lists. Start a new WIP

No one cares what you look like

If people point out things they don't like about how you look unprompted, they are being rude. You are entitled to say "what the fuck"

People who like you will find you pretty to some degree. Minor things about your appearance go completely unnoticed. Literally, scars and dots and blemishes do not register to someone who likes your company

You looking at yourself in the mirror is 10x more closely than anyone is going to look at you

If you're anxious about your body type, and you're creatively inclined, make/write an oc with that same shape. Give them nice things and make other characters love them. Put them on adventures. You'll start to see yourself in the mirror more kindly

You care about wording and perfect lines/colors way more than anyone who views your work ever will

Sometimes when you're upset, you're going to feel like not eating. Do not do that. Not eating makes you more miserable

Same with things you normally enjoy. Denying yourself helps no one. You are punishing yourself for being sad. Stop it

Both of these will take conscious decision to break the habit of. Make yourself do it anyways, and it will slowly get easier

And again, to reiterate: If someone is mad at you, it is THEIR responsibility to tell you, not your responsibility to guess

[rocxyoulikeahurricane]

"I'm in a hospital. I don't want to be in a hospital."

{ Roth is agitated. He doesn’t want to be here. A bad memory is causing fear. He’s reliving a terrible memory. }

The angel had gone through similar things, so he kind of knew how to handle this. "You're ok Roth, I'm right here, you've been discharged, I'm here to take you home". He bent down. @hellcab

[fuck-that-im-starving]

I just need to be skinnier and everything will be fine. Just a little bit skinnier. A little bit skinnier. Maybe if I dont eat for a few days it'll be ok.

[cupcakeslushie]

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Just a heads up, guys! This week is my birthday and I have a full work schedule, so I might not be able to upload anything for a second! I’m gonna try and take this week easy, but you never know if inspiration might hit lol.

[shannonsketches]

Sure sex is great but has your extraterrestrial not-husband ever expressed affection by learning about things that happpen to humans and panicking

[decrheart]

relations: must already be close with him, reach out if interested verse: could easily be normal or magical verse

   "—Why does everyone keep asking if I’m fine?! I’m more than fine! Better than that even!” Spoke too quickly to comprehend most of what he said but it was clear his anxiety went off the charts. Flipped his hands in the air before he returned them across his chest, paced back and forth. Once he started, it was almost impossible to stop him, a calming distraction would be helpful to him at this moment.

   Constantly made sure everyone else was okay and put his own needs last might have finally caught up with him. Despite how he encouraged others to be opened, he wasn’t such an advocate for himself. Even more so if they needed to have a serious discussion, the last thing he wanted was to hurt the other, especially if he needed to speak his truth. “Lo que sea!” Roughly translated to: whatever. He was so fed up, he didn’t know how to get rid of this feeling.

[worthless-misery]

Dear diary...

The fact that I'm still "alive" in 2024 just feels like a huge mistake...

[maarlena]

Idk if thats a bpd or a me thing

[msimsosad]

Who knew waking up could be so painful?

[thatsbelievable]