#tw: the guy who also has daddy issues

[smileysuh]

ice cold, cabin fever - part 1

🌙 staring. Seungcheol & Mingyu x afab!Reader

🔮 preview. "come on, let’s just go back to snakes and ladders and you can pretend we’re not snowed in with no firewood and a dude you hate locked in the bathroom."

cw/ tw. threesome, daddy issues, mean/tsundere cheol, wet dreams, spanking, marking, dirty talk, choking, unprotected sex, pain kink, dacryphilia, breast play, praise, degradation, fingering, oral, hand job, blow job, multiple orgasms, overstim, edging, orgasm denial, manhandling, size kink, cumplay, finger sucking, spit roasting, hair pulling, voyeurism, I petnames. (hers) princess, bitch, whore, baby (s.coups) cheol, douche, dick, daddy (mingyu) gyu.

👹 rating. 18+ explicit I wc. 25.9k

🍭 aus. e2l, s2l, step brothers Jihan, non idol, ski resort, roomies, etc...

☀️ mlist + an. so when I tell you I know practically nothing about skiing... also, the recent soop episodes have been giving gyucheol and jihan and I'm dying. I other inspo: 🙂 🙂 🙂 I pls note. this fic has so much dialogue, it exceeds the number of paragraphs allowed in a tumblr post, so it will be split into 2 parts posted at the same time I read the whole thing in one post + the bonus by subscribing to my patreon and clicking here

Prologue: 

“You guys aren’t going to believe this,” Jeonghan says as he enters the main area of the flat he shares with his brother and two best friends.

Three sets of eyes turn to him, and it’s Joshua who takes a shot in the dark and asks, “Did you get chlamydia again?”

“Aish, fuck off,” Jeonghan picks up a pillow to launch at his brother, “I just got off the phone with mom you idiot.”

“Ouch, since when are you telling mommy about your STI results?” Seungcheol teases, earning himself a pillow as well, that he easily bats out of the air.

“Tell us,” Mingyu urges seriously, “what did your mom say?”

“Only that our new step-sister decided to join us for the destination wedding, super last minute,” Jeonghan explains, taking a seat next to the youngest and sweetest of his friends.

“Did your mom tell her that they already gave up the cabin?” Seungcheol’s heart drops to his stomach, thoughts of powdered snow and skiing swirling on the periphery of his mind.

“Fuck if I know,” Jeonghan shrugs. “She sounds like a bit of a bitch if I’m being honest- sorry Gyu, but it looks like you’ll be giving up your bed.”

“We’re sharing a cabin with her?” The maknae’s jaw drops.

“Well she’s definitely not staying with us,” Joshua stiffens in his seat, “I don’t know what weird step-sibling porn you’re into Gyu, but we’re not that kind of family.”

“Listen,” Seungcheol leans forward, eager to keep the peace, “none of us have met her before- but your mom really likes her dad- let’s just hope she’s as nice as he is… I really doubt she’s a bitch. If it comes down to it, I can give up my bed, there’s a pullout in the cabin too, right? We’ll make it work.”

The glances all four men exchange betray how unsure they all are, and Seungcheol only wishes he was as positive as he makes himself out to be. 

1: Thursday - Arrival

“Y/n! You made it!” your dad’s excitement should be contagious, but as you haul your suitcase into the lobby of the ski resort, you’re much too exhausted to mirror his attitude.

In fact, you’d bet you look exactly how you feel; done with this vacation before it’s even started.

Despite this, you accept the hug from your dad, trying to relax a little before he lets you go again. “Was your flight very long?”

“Too long,” you sigh, taking a deep breath before returning his question with “and you?”

“Too long,” your dad laughs. “But you can rest easy now, the hard part is over.”

Is it? 

“I’m so excited for you to meet Suelki,” he continues, “and her two sons.” 

“I’m excited too,” you really force a smile this time, trying your best to look sincere.

“Good,” your dad nods, beginning to lead you through the resort. “So listen, this trip is kind of like my honeymoon- so we really don’t expect to be seeing that much of you- Suelki and I have a suite in the actual hotel itself, but I think I mentioned to you over the phone that we booked two of the rustic cabins-”

“Yeah, you mentioned that,” your grip on your suitcase handle tightens.

“Because you originally said you wouldn’t be coming, we gave the second cabin up to Suelki’s boys’ roommates- and unfortunately, the entire resort is booked up this week, so we couldn’t get you your own room.”

“Right-” He’d mentioned something along these lines during your quick phonecall when you’d changed your mind about coming on the trip, and you’re eager to see what fix he has for this.

“Each cabin had a pullout though, so you’ll be staying in one of them, and whether it’s with Suelki’s boys’ or their friends, I really hope you use this trip to get to know your new step brothers.”

Your mouth feels dry, heart jittering in your chest at the concept of sharing a cabin for a week with two boys- 

“The wedding is on Saturday,” your dad and you have reached a door leading outside; icy air hits your face when he opens it. “And the cabins you’re looking for are the last two down this road here- cabin 6 and cabin 7. Just follow the string lights-”

“Are you-” you swallow. “You’re not going to take me out to where I’m staying?” You tighten your grip on your heavy luggage, eying the snowy path.

“Sorry darling, but your plane was late, and you’ve arrived at a bad time- Suelki and I have massages scheduled in-” he checks his watch, “ten minutes? I really have to go- but you’re a strong, capable girl, you’ll find the cabins no problem.”

This is exactly the type of behaviour from your father that you’re used to. 

Part of you had expected something to be different- you’d been hoping that the wedding jitters would make him more inclined to be compassionate to you- but it looks like he’s as intent on letting you go about it yourself as he’s ever been.

After your long flight, and now this- you’re really questioning if you should have come on this trip at all.

2: Thursday - Arrival

“Joshie, come look at this,” Jeonghan urges, holding his tea tighter while gazing out the small cabin window.

“What is it?” his brother sighs, putting down his book but remaining seated on the couch.

“Some girl is dragging her suitcase up the path.” 

He can’t help but snicker. With the road covered in snow for the winter season, accessing the cabins isn’t the easiest task in the world. 

Having been here before, the brothers had packed accordingly, and carrying their duffles had been substantially easier than the struggle Jeonghan is currently witnessing. 

“Oh shit.”

“What?” Now Joshua stands up.

“She’s coming to the door- shit-” Jeonghan pulls away from the window roughly, and hot liquid spills over the edge of his mug, making contact with his fingers. “Shit!” he shakes his hand out-

“Must be the step sister?” Joshua suggests, ignoring the elder man tending to his reddening skin. 

“Must be,” Jeonghan hisses, putting his tea down just as there’s a knock on the door.

The elder of the two takes a seat on the couch, pulling his hoodie sleeve down to cover his hand while Joshua answers the door. 

“Hi-” your voice carries into the small space, and Jeonghan silently urges Joshua to move to the side so he can get a better look at you. “Are you Jeonghan?”

“No, Joshua,” he shifts, allowing you to see into the cabin, “that’s Jeonghan.”

Jeonghan lifts his unharmed hand, wiggling his fingers at you and offering a smile. 

His eyes quickly take you in, assessing your cute outfit- and its lack of weather appropriateness. He finds himself stifling a laugh again, shaking his head to snap himself out of it before saying loudly, “Aren’t you going to let our new step-sister in?”

You look like a bunny entering a wolf’s den, and you stop just past the threshold, allowing the door to be closed behind you.

“I guess you guys know about the cabin situation?” Your first words aren’t something Jeonghan had particularly expected from you-

You’re much more forward than your appearance gives you credit for, and he begins to wonder if his little bunny has teeth. 

“Cabin situation?” Joshua comes to join Jeonghan on the couch, reaching for his book.

“Yeah-” you swallow, “I heard my cabin got given up to two of your friends?”

“Right, that cabin situation,” Jeonghan and Joshua exchange glances, and they leave space for you to continue.

“I was thinking,” you shift awkwardly on your feet, a chunk of snow shifts off your boot and onto the wood floor, “uh- you guys aren’t really going to make me share a cabin with two of your friends, right?” 

“What do you mean?” Joshua cocks his head, and Jeonghan leans back in his seat, enjoying the scene playing out in front of him.

“Just that-” you release a deep sigh. “Guys- I’m going to be honest, I’m really tired- is there no possible way one or even both of your friends could- I don’t know… crash in this cabin with you guys?”-  there’s a beat of silence, Jeonghan and Joshua exchange glances - “like, that’s a pullout couch, right? So- at least one could stay here-”

Joshua opens his mouth to respond, but Jeonghan places a hand on his knee to silence him, taking the lead in these new family negotiations; “You might be able to convince one of them to stay here,” he tells you, “but I doubt you’d be more comfortable alone with a strange man you’ve never met, than you would be having two.”

“I mean…” you look between your new step-siblings, “these guys are your friends, right? It’s not like they’re going to- erm… try anything?”

“You’re right,” Jeonghan nods sympathetically, “let’s go over there and you can see which one you prefer to spend a week alone with.”

You shift again, releasing a groan. “I know we just met- but I’ve gotta say, you’re a bit of an asshole, you know that?”

Jeonghan laughs.

“He’s right though,” Joshua sighs. “As unfortunate as it is that your cabin got given up, there’s no chance both of our friends are going to give up their beds to sleep on a pullout in here with us.” He stands up. “I saw you were struggling with your bag earlier- I’ll carry it for you, we can go to the next cabin over and discuss the situation with Cheol and Mingyu-”

“Thanks, but no thanks,” you open the door, holding your suitcase tightly, “I’m a big girl, I’ll handle this myself.”

The new brothers watch you leave the cabin, and then Joshua heads to the window, eyes following you as you trudge down the path back to the main road again. 

“Is she still struggling?” Jeonghan asks.

Joshua lets out something between a laugh and a sigh, then he nods. “She’s really struggling.”

3: Thursday - Arrival

“Is that your stomach growling?” Cheol groans, distracted from the Christmas film he’s watching for what must be the third time-

“I’m sorry-” Mingyu whines, hand rubbing his tummy in slow circles, “you know how I get when we go skiing-”

“Then eat more at dinner next time,” the elder man snaps, grabbing the remote to turn the sound up in the hopes it will drown out his friend’s stomach, “and make some ramen or something.”

“I’m too lazy, I can’t get up,” the large man sprawled on the couch groans, his voice switching to something more on the girly side when he says “oppa, make me ramen? We can have Netflix and ramen?”

“Aish-” Seungcheol reaches out to bat his friend’s foot.

Mingyu is the baby of their apartment back home, and all three of the men born in 95 try not to make a habit of indulging him in maknae privileges. In fact, Mingyu often ends up being the one who cooks and cleans, but Seungcheol will never admit that to anyone.

“Stop complaining and watch your movie,” Seungcheol urges, eyes returning to the screen, where Jim Carrey’s Grinch is having a similar meltdown to Mingyu’s.

A knock at the door stuns both men, their heads whipping towards the sound- then Mingyu is jumping off the couch, as if he wasn’t just claiming to be a lazy bum less than a minute ago. 

“Who is it?” Cheol groans, leaning back against the pillows, stretching his tired arms out in front of him. 

He’s never going to get through this movie if there keeps being distractions-

“Shh- it’s a girl-” Mingyu’s whispered response is another shock to Cheol’s system, and he suddenly finds himself sitting up in his seat.

“Well, answer the door!” he whispers back.

Mingyu follows through with the command, and a moment later he’s greeting you with a “Hello?”

“Uh, hi? Are you… Cheol?” 

“No,” Mingyu steps to the side, “he is.”

Seungcheol blinks at you, taking you in.

He’s definitely never met you before, so how is it you know his name- 

How is it you know the name that only his friends use?

“Then that makes you… Mingyu?” 

You’re not even looking at Seungcheol anymore, your eyes have slipped over him and returned to the large man in front of you faster than Cheol can even clock-

“That’s right,” Mingyu nods, then, “wait! You must be the step-sister!”

“That’s me,” you sigh. “The step-sister.”

“Come in,” Mingyu urges you, “and let me take your bag, I bet you’re tired from your flight-”

Seungcheol rolls his eyes, setting the remote down. It’s unlikely he’ll be returning to the movie anytime soon, and he supposes he should be friendly with you- despite his exhaustion from a long day on the slopes.

“Did you drag your suitcase all the way through the snow?” Mingyu asks, blatantly bewildered at your behavior. 

“Uh huh,” you nod, closing the door behind you and reaching down to take off your boots.

“No one helped you?” Mingyu’s tone makes the whole thing seem like blasphemy, and Cheol watches the way he fusses over you, setting your bag at the foot of his bed before rushing to help you take off your jacket-

“No one,” you confirm. “Joshua offered, but- I managed by myself, like always.”

“So you stopped at the other cabin first?” Seungcheol confirms, “Met Hannie and Josh-”

Your eyes meet, and then Seungcheol finds himself looking at your lips-

“Yeah,” you tear your gaze away, turning to Mingyu when you explain, “wanted to talk with them about bed arrangements first-”

“You can have mine,” Mingyu offers, flashing you an earnest smile.

“Really?” your eyes widen, and you look between the two men again. “You’re not uh… too big for it?”

Seungcheol feels like he’s been hit in the chest. 

If you’d had asked your question without looking directly at him, he might have been able to convince himself you weren’t insinuating anything- but it’s clear what you’re saying. It’s clear you’re clocking him as being smaller than his younger friend, clear you’re inadvertantly suggesting that as the shorter man - Cheol - should sleep on the couch.

A month ago, Cheol had suggested the very same thing, thinking you’d be some nice girl he could give his bed to.

But now? 

He wouldn’t give you his bed if your life depended on it. 

“It’s okay,” Mingyu is quick to assure you, “you can have my bed. Here, have a seat, we’re watching a Christmas movie-  did your flight serve you dinner? Are you hungry?”

“Starved,” you sigh, collapsing onto the couch, taking the corner Mingyu had inhabited earlier. 

“I’ll make us some ramen,” Mingyu tells you. “Ramen always goes well with Christmas movies.”

Seungcheol notes the way you smile at Mingyu’s words. 

He feels invisible, and most of all, bitter. He’s not happy about any of this, not the way you’d taken a hit at his pride, nor Mingyu’s new burst of energy and overly friendly demeanor.

Picking up the remote again, Seungcheol hits play, and he hopes nothing else sets him off tonight, or he just might explode.

4: Friday - morning

Waking up is slow at first, and then it hits you all at once. You sit up, clutching the quilt to cover your body while blinking away the last of your drowsiness, eyes acclimatizing to the soft glow of the room.

Sunlight is coming through the cabin shades, and you realize two things very quickly. First, that you’re alone, and second, that you’re not where you’d fallen asleep last night.

After settling in and eating your ramen, you’d gotten comfortable on the couch. The movie hadn’t truly captured your interest, and you’d begun to doze off with the intention of waking up when the film was complete to move to the bed- 

But you have no recollection of being woken up.

You hadn’t even had any dreams. You’d been so exhausted from a day of traveling that you’d blacked out, and now, you’re left with confusion and body aches.

Someone must have carried you to bed- 

You hope it was Mingyu.

When you look down, you see you’re still dressed in your travel outfit, so the first thing you decide to do is explore the small cabin and find the shower.

Part of you is grateful the men you’re rooming with allowed you to sleep. It makes finding a routine easier. You take your time in the shower, allowing yourself to relax a little, and you consider what your day might look like.

You guess the men are on the slopes, as the skis that had been propped next to the door when you’d arrived are gone, and you decide exercise might be exactly what you need.

Besides, you’re at a ski resort, skiing seems like an obvious choice- although you’re not quite sure how it will work, seeing as you haven’t brought your own equipment-

You begin looking around the cabin for a resort map- and you’re so busy looking in all the hard places you almost miss the glaringly obvious piece of paper resting on the coffee table under a set of keys. 

Your heart lurches in your chest. You pocket the keys and open the paper to find it’s the resort pamphlet you’ve been searching for. 

Along with a map of the mountain, someone has taken the time to circle cabin 7, draw a line to the main hotel, and circled another section, which has been labeled ‘ski rentals’ in handwriting that’s just barely legible. 

There’s no other writing to indicate which man has left this for you, so you decide to assume it’s Mingyu.

Cheol had barely talked to you last night. He’d given off cold vibes; a man with walls built up around him. 

You truly can’t imagine that the quiet, brooding man had stopped to write on a map and leave you keys.

And honestly? You don’t want to imagine it.

It’s much safer to identify one of your roommates as a tall, white knight, and the other as a dark entity you’ll have to suffer through for a week. 

It makes it easier to plan on ignoring Cheol. 

5: Friday - afternoon

Today is a good day for Seungcheol. 

He’d been worried that your arrival would mean babysitting duty, so when you’d slept in and he’d convinced Gyu to leave you be, he’d been nearly ecstatic. 

He’d clocked you as a non-skier the moment you’d arrived without the correct equipment, and despite his day job as a physical trainer, Cheol is not in the mood to be teaching anyone how to do anything.

No, he’s much happier taking the slopes with his best friend. 

Mingyu isn’t as adept with skis as Cheol is, but he’s good enough for the elder not to worry too much about him. 

After tackling a few of the harder slopes, the two men find themselves on a green run. 

It’s enjoyable to take the hill in an easy manner, crisscrossing down the incline, watching the powder fluff up and take air with each harsh turn-

The day is gorgeous-

And then Cheol spots you, and his mood drops instantly.

You’re a couple hundred feet down the mountain from he and Mingyu, and they both stop for a moment, battling the glare from the sun-

“Is that-”

“Y/n,” Seungcheol confirms with a sigh. “First the thing with her bags, now this- it’s like she’s never been to a ski resort before.”

“Maybe she hasn’t,” Mingyu cocks his head to the side, looking thoughtful for a moment. “We should go help her.”

Seungcheol scoffs. “You really think she wants our help?”

“It never hurts to offer,” the younger, more considerate man points out. “Besides, this is Jeonghan and Joshua’s new step-sister, we’re trying to be nice to her, right?”

With a sigh, Seungcheol agrees, and the two continue down the mountain, catching up to you easily. 

“Hello!” Mingyu calls out to you, in classic extroverted Mingyu fashion. This earns him a smile from you, and you stop your slow slope descent to chat.

“Hi Mingyu,” you say, pushing your hair out of your face and adjusting your hat.

You don’t say hello to Seungcheol, and he doesn’t greet you either.

“How’s your day going so far?” Mingyu asks. “Are you enjoying the fresh air?”

“Yeah- found some skis at the rental and I think I’m getting the hang of it,” you tell them, “wasn’t sure I’d be skiing much this trip but, well, here I am.”

“You slept in,” Seungcheol finds himself stating. “We weren’t sure we’d bump into you today.”

“Right…” you trail off, giving Seungcheol a quick once over before your eyes return to Mingyu, and an easy smile works its way across your face again, “Have you been skiing long? I mean, I get the feeling that I’m the only person on the trip who doesn’t have much experience with all of this- you guys all brought your own skis.”

“Yeah, we’re all big snow sports people,” Mingyu tells you. “Seungcheol was actually almost an olympic level snowboarder-”

“Really?” Now you’re looking at Seungcheol. Truly looking at him. “But… you brought skis?”

“He’d be much too fast on his board,” Mingyu grins. “Skis slow him down, make him level with the rest of us. But, he’s still pretty good at skiing too.”

“Could give you a few pointers if you want,” Seungcheol says, earnestly. 

He’d gotten a good look at what you were doing wrong before they approached you, and a few minor tweaks would have you skiing with the best of them-

“Erm, thanks, but no thanks, I think I’m good learning at my own pace for now.” 

He notes the way you avert your eyes, upper lip curling slightly with disdain. 

He should have never bothered to offer you help. 

Seungcheol takes a deep breath. “You two are probably more compatible for your level, and I want to do some harder runs. I’ll see you around.”

And with that, he leaves you and Mingyu, taking off down the mountain at a speed his friends can only dream of.

6: Friday - evening

It’s been a good day for Mingyu, and settling in for dinner with his friends is the perfect ending for it. They order half the menu, covering the table in all sorts of foods to try together, and it reminds him of their time in university. 

While Mingyu is younger than his friends, he’d entered their frat before they’d graduated, and the bond he has with his older hyungs is truly one born out of a shared love for food. 

“Try this,” Jeonghan insists, and Mingyu opens his mouth before he even gets a good look at what’s about to be fed to him. “It’s good right?”

Mingyu can only nod happily while munching, hand reaching for his beer.

“Where were you guys today?” Joshua asks, “we missed you on the slopes.”

“Did a couple of the harder ones,” Seungcheol responds while the maknae has his mouth full, “then bumped into your step-sister on the easier hill-”

“Oh?” This grabs both Jeonghan and Joshua’s attention. “She was skiing?”

“Badly,” Cheol leans back in his chair, sipping his beer.

“She wasn’t that bad,” Mingyu insists, swallowing his food so he can defend you. “I did a couple runs with her and she wasn’t that bad, really.”

The brothers exchange a glance that Mingyu can’t read. 

He’s always been jealous of how in tune Jeonghan and Joshua are. As ‘irish twins’ - siblings born within the same year - it’s like they can read each other’s minds, and Mingyu always feels like he’s missing some crucial part of the conversation.

“Did you guys sort out the bed situation?” Joshua asks, looking down at the steak he’s cutting. He gives off an air of nonchalance, but Mingyu can tell that this is a topic both brothers are interested in. 

“I think you mentioned giving up your bed when we talked about it a few months ago,” Jeonghan adds, “isn’t that right, Cheol?”

“That was before I met her.”

The brothers exchange a glance, and a smirk works its way onto Jeonghan’s face. “Looks like Gyu got the short end of the straw, huh?”

“I offered her my bed,” Mingyu insists. 

“But she fell asleep on the couch during our Christmas movie,” Seungcheol says smoothly. “I moved her to his bed, wasn’t going to let him off the hook that easy.”

“My neck is aching,” Mingyu groans, rubbing at it, “but it was worth it. I told her she could have my bed, so she had my bed.”

“He’s so eager to help her out,” Cheol teases, pushing at Mingyu’s shoulder. “When we saw her on the mountain earlier, she refused my help, but was more than happy to ski with him.”

Joshua and Jeonghan exchange a glance that has Mingyu rushing to assure them, “she’s your new step sister- I’m not trying anything, I just want to be friendly-”

“What was that?” Cheol leans closer, “I don’t think I heard you?”

“I said,” Mingyu raises his voice, “she’s their stepsister, and I’m not trying anything!” 

“Perfect, that’s exactly what I thought I heard,” Seungcheol grins, and then he’s looking at something over Mingyu’s shoulder. “Hey Y/N, you should join these three for dinner.”

“Uh…” 

Mingyu turns to find you standing there, and his skin heats with embarrassment. 

He’s pretty sure you’d just heard what he’d loudly said to his friends, and his skin tingles with regret, ears heating-

“Really,” Seungcheol stands, “take my seat, I was just leaving.”

“Where are you headed?” Jeonghan asks, more curious about his friend than his own step-sister.

“The pool.” Cheol grabs the jacket on the back of his chair. “Have some knots in my back, but nothing the hot tub jets can’t fix.”

For the second time today, Mingyu finds himself watching Cheol make a hasty retreat in order to avoid spending time with you. And for the second time today, Mingyu finds himself eagerly attempting to help you fit in, despite his oldest friend’s rejection of you.

“Come eat,” Mingyu urges, patting the newly empty seat next to him. 

“Are you guys sure? I can always eat alone-”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” Joshua laughs. “You’re one of us now, come sit.”

Mingyu is glad that your step brothers immediately start asking you questions, and for a little while, everything runs smoothly. 

Every minute he spends with you, he warms up more and more to your presence.

It’s obvious to him that yesterday, when you’d arrived, you’d been out of sorts after hours of traveling. Your temperament has improved drastically, and Mingyu finds himself laughing along with his friends at small jokes you make here and there.

The four of you spend a much longer time in the resort restaurant than Mingyu had expected, and it’s only when Jeonghan begins to yawn that you all decide it’s time to head back to your cabins.

The night is cold, but it’s not snowing, and your small group follows the poles of string lights diligently.

Jeonghan and Joshua pull off one stop earlier than your own, wishing you goodnight before heading into their cabin.

As you and Mingyu continue up the path, Mingyu finds you walking closer to him, and he’s surprised when you say “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“Carrying me to bed last night,” you respond, “and the map you left on the coffee table, the one with the ski rental circled.”

“Oh, uh…” Mingyu swallows thickly, “that actually wasn’t me. I think it’s Cheol who you have to be thanking.”

“Oh…” 

‘Oh’ is right.

7: Saturday - morning

When you wake up, you’re struck by two things. First, that you’re alone, as you were when you woke up yesterday. And second, that your father is getting married.

Your body aches when you sit up, muscles screaming at you for having the audacity to ski as long as you had with Mingyu, and you decide pretty quick that another attempt at the slopes is off the table.

You remember what Seungcheol had said yesterday, about the pool and the hott ub, and decide maybe he had the right idea about jets and sore muscles.

He can be an ass, but you suppose he uses his brain sometimes.

You change into your swimsuit, and make sure to layer yourself with comfy sweats and your parka, pool bag in hand before you set out to take on the weather. 

For the billionth time since arriving at this God forsaken cabin, you wish you’d gotten a room in the resort itself. It’s snowed over the night, but the path is somewhat cleared. Even so, the trek to the main hotel is difficult, and your muscles are even more tired when you arrive.

The resort is a ski destination, and you cross your fingers that most of its patrons are on the hills and not utilizing the various pools and saunas. 

Your wish comes true, and you’re pleased to see hardly anyone as you pass through the indoor pool to check out the outdoor areas, intent on having a hot tub to yourself-

As you’re walking along the pool deck, clutching your parka tight around your body, you notice someone swimming. 

He’s underwater, slicing through the pool like a professional swimmer. The glare from the overcast sky makes it impossible to get a great look at the athlete and you settle next to the hot tub, hoping to see more when he comes up for air. 

You’ve just taken off your parka and are wading into the hot tub when the swimmer stops at the edge of the pool. He’s in the shallows now, and he’s able to stand up, his back to you.

Droplets of water glisten down his back in the light, steam immediately beginning to lift off of his skin-

His shoulders and back look like they were crafted by the Gods, and the man runs a hand through his hair, shaking it out of his face.

You just wish he would turn to look at you, so you can see who you’re drooling over-

In no time at all, this wish is coming true, only, you wish it hadn’t, because the moment the gorgeous, well-muscled athlete turns to look at you, you’re locking eyes with your least favourite person on the mountain.

Seungcheol is as taken aback as you are for a moment.

He’d been reaching for the rail to pull himself out of the pool, but now, he’s simply frozen.

You’re practically gawking at each other, and you’re the first to break eye contact, clearing your throat and looking away.

You can feel your skin heating, and it’s not just from the hot tub, which you wish you could simply submerge yourself in and never come back up-

In the periphery of your vision, you see Seungcheol getting out of the pool, and it takes every ounce of self-restraint in your entire body not to turn and watch him.

Then, to your surprise, he gives you an excuse to look at him, calling out, “The wedding starts at four, don’t be late.”

Your jaw hits the hottub floor, and you watch Seungcheol practically run away from you.

It’s becoming an all too familiar sight. 

8: Saturday - afternoon

Sitting in his mother’s hotel room, watching her do the final touches on her wedding look, Joshua is struck with memories of the past.

There’d been many mornings growing up where he’d sat on the closed-lid toilet, watching her brush through her hair, sometimes braiding it, before taking him and Jeonghan to school.

In the quiet of their small apartment bathroom, nothing could come between them, not Jeonghan whining for whatever reason, nor the angry father who’d disappeared from the picture when the boys had turned ten.

To Joshua, the moment feels like peace, or at least, as close to it as he’s ever come.

He can tell, by the way his mom smiles when she looks at herself in the mirror, that she’s truly happy, and it’s all he’s ever wanted for her. 

The moment is fleeting, as Jeonghan enters the room and brings with him a certain level of chaos, the kind of windswept mayhem that follows him everywhere, like a moving storm.

“Booze?” The first word to come out of his mouth.

“In the fridge,” Joshua motions to the small cooler before asking his elder brother, “drinking already?”

“Just spent half an hour running all over and making sure everyone’s doing what they’re supposed to be doing,” Jeonghan sighs, bending down to retrieve a can of beer, cracking it open with nimble fingers.

“You wanted to be the best man,” Joshua points out.

For such a small wedding, consisting of only close family and a few friends, roles hadn’t been a necessity, but Joshua wasn’t aware that scrambling around to make sure people are in place would be necessary either.

“Y/N forgot her shoes at the cabin, so Mingyu ran to get them, but by the time he got there, Seungcheol had apparently realized the heels were needed, so he’d grabbed them- and somehow they’d missed each other in the lobby-” Jeonghan cuts off his own ramblings with a large sip of his drink. 

“Sounds like quite the goose chase,” their mother’s calm voice visibly settles the best man, who takes a seat next to his brother.

“You look amazing,” Jeonghan tells her, as sincere as Joshua’s ever seen him. “Our new step-sister’s dad is a lucky man.”

“Since when did you stop calling him by his name?” Seulki laughs, returning her gaze to the mirror, fixing her veil. “Looks like you’re both getting used to Y/N though, Joshua mentioned that you all had dinner last night. Is she settling in okay?”

“I think so,” Joshua says thoughtfully.

“Mingyu really likes her,” Jeonghan adds.

Joshua nods. “And we do too.”

Their mom gives them a knowing look. “How’s Seungcheol finding his cabinmate? Haven’t you both always said he’s a good judge of character?”

“He’s also a stubborn ass,” Jeonghan grins over the rim of his drink, “so we can’t really trust his opinions on her- besides, any time she’s around, he runs the other way. I doubt they’ve talked much.”

“That’s a shame,” Seulki frowns. “I bumped into her with Mingyu on the slopes yesterday, she seemed really lovely.”

“She is,” Joshua admits. He’d also enjoyed getting to know you last night over food and drinks.

“Well,” Seulki turns to her boys, “let’s just hope Seungcheol warms up to her, but we’ll put that to the side for now, we have a wedding to get to.”

9: Saturday - evening

The ceremony had gone exactly as planned. 

After the initial goose chase looking for your shoes, there’d only been one or two small details Jeonghan had been forced to attend to. But after it all, his mom had walked down the aisle, vows had been said, and Jeonghan had gained a father figure.

Standing at the alter next to his brother, Jeonghan had watched everything take place with a keen eye.

He’d been pleased to see the three couples invited - his aunt and uncle, and two of your father’s friends with their wives - sitting in the small venue with his roommates. And he’d been even more interested in watching his friends react throughout the service.

Mingyu had gotten teary-eyed the moment Seulki had begun her walk down the aisle, and even Seungcheol had torn his gaze from you for long enough to admire the dress.

When everything was said and done, the small party had moved to a secluded room off the main restaurant to have food, drinks and further celebration. Here, Jeonghan had again noticed Seungcheol’s affinity for having you in his line of sight.

“You know,” Jeonghan says, as he settles into the seat next to his brother, eyes fixed on his muscular friend by the small bar, “for a guy who runs away whenever y/n is around, he spends an awful lot of his time watching our step sister.”

Joshua chuckles, sipping his champagne. “You noticed that too, huh?”

“Hard not to,” Jeonghan grins, following Seungcheol’s gaze to where you’re clinging to Mingyu on the makeshift dance floor. “What do you think about those two?”

“I think Cheol better cut his losses now,” Joshua says, setting his drink down. 

“Really?” Jeonghan cocks his head, considering it all. “We’re only two days into this trip… a lot could happen before the week is done, don’t you think?”

“A lot could happen,” Joshua admits, “especially if someone like you decided to meddle.”

“I never meddle, only… help push things along.”

“In the direction you want it to go.”

“Touche,” Jeonghan lifts his champagne, gently clinking it against his brother’s discarded glass. 

“I think I’m going to go ask y/n to dance,” Joshua says, pushing his chair back and standing.

“Now who’s meddling?” Jeonghan laughs.

“Still only you.”

10: Sunday - morning

The couch had been uncomfortable on a normal night, so Mingyu supposes it’s his own fault that he wakes up aching after a night of drinking and dancing at the wedding.

Stretching his arms over his head, he tries to ease the tight muscles in his shoulders, but he’s unable to get comfortable again.

He lays there for a few minutes, watching you dance in your cute bridesmaid dress on the back of his eyelids. He’s not sure if it’s you, the dress, or the visual combined, but he knows he’s going to remember last night for many years to come.

When he finally sits up, Mingyu looks towards your bed, and he’s not shocked to find you still sleeping. This is the third day waking up in the same room as you, and Mingyu’s becoming accustomed to the fact that you sleep in longer than he does.

He’s becoming accustomed to your cute, unsuspecting, resting face.

It makes sleeping on the couch worth it, and his sore muscles are almost forgotten- until he has to stand up, and they scream at him again.

Cheol is sitting up in his bed, scrolling through his phone, and he looks up when Mingyu stretches his arms above his head to release his shoulder tension.

‘Did you sleep well?’ Cheol mouths at him.

The two have been scared to even whisper in the mornings - scared to wake you up - and have adopted this silent way of communicating. Mingyu nods quickly, pointing back at his hyung as if to say ‘and you?’

Another quick nod, plus a thumbs up, then Cheol makes the motion of a man shoveling food into his mouth and points to the door.

Mingyu holds up his hand, ‘give me five minutes’ and slowly begins to tiptoe to the bathroom, where he can have some water, fix his hair, and change into better clothes. 

It’s a routine they’ve gotten used to, and for the third day in a row, Mingyu prays that when he exits the bathroom, by some miracle, you’ll be awake and eager to join them in the resort restaurant for breakfast.

Mingyu and Seungcheol - quite predictably - end up weathering the early morning elements without you, and it’s on the snowy path that Mingyu tells Cheol “I think I’m going to skip skiing today.”

“Really?” Seungcheol’s shock is written all over his face.

Mingyu nods. “I feel bad that we’re always ditching y/n- and we mostly go on the slopes she can’t ski on, so… I figured, after breakfast, I'd stay behind at the cabin and wait till she wakes up, then see what she wants to do today.”

There’s a long pause, and then Seungcheol sighs. “I see how it is.”

“Hmm?”

“You also walked her home last night after the dinner. Hannie, Joshie and I stayed up drinking, you usually join, but instead, you walked y/n home.”

“We were both tired,” Mingyu defends himself. “Watched a bit of a movie, then fell asleep.”

“Is that all that happened?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean… part of me wondered if I should have stayed on Jeonghan and Joshua’s couch last night, to give you privacy.”

Mingyu’s heart skips a beat in his chest, and he fumbles with the hood of his parka. “We didn’t- we aren’t-”

“You guys danced a lot last night, then you walked her home… if it’s not like that then… well, people might get the wrong idea.”

“Who’s people?” Mingyu nearly laughs. “It’s just us here- you think anyone really cared last night?”

“I guess not.” There’s a pause, then Seungcheol changes the topic, asking, “What do you think you’ll have for breakfast today?”

It’s then that Mingyu realizes, someone did care last night, and that someone, is Cheol. 

11: Sunday - afternoon

You’d been a little shocked to find Mingyu reading on the couch when you’d woken up from your long sleep, but when he’d explained to you that he’d stayed behind from skiing with friends to make sure you had a proper buddy for the day, your heart had melted.

After a slow start, the two of you had decided to rent some snow shoes and use the back slope trails, which is how you end up climbing one of the smaller mountains together.

“We’re almost at the top,” Mingyu tells you, pulling out the trail map provided by the resort. You try to catch your breath while he points to a spot on the paper. “I think we’re about here, so just-” he drags his finger up the green line, “this far to the top.”

“Are you sure?” you laugh, grasping onto his arm to pull yourself closer so you can get a good look at the map.

There’s a pause, then he shakes his head, “No. We could also be sort of lost.” 

“Don’t say that-” you grin, pushing at him, “you’ve been mostly using this map alright- I trust you, and your trail-following capabilities.”

“Maybe you shouldn’t though,” Mingyu insists. “Honestly, following maps is definitely Cheol’s thing. One time, we were on a road trip, and we were going down this road for half an hour before we had to pull over and he got to look at the map- we’d missed a turn and it set us back like two hours-”

“It’s easier to miss a highway turn than a trailhead,” you assure him. “Come on, we said we’d climb this small mountain, and then we can take the lift back down and finish our movie from last night at the cabin- just think about our nice, warm cabin-”

“Nice, warm cabin,” Mingyu nods, folding the map back up to put in the pocket of his parka. “Let’s go, we can do this.”

You watch the large, beautiful man pull away from you and continue your trajectory up, and you can’t help but smile, echoing the sentiment, “we can do this.” 

12: Sunday - evening

Seungcheol had been surprised to find the cabin empty after skiing, and he’d been even more surprised when he went to the restaurant to find you and Mingyu not there either. 

However, he does find Jeonghan, who informs him that he’d seen you and Mingyu getting snow shoes a few hours ago, and Seungcheol’s heart sinks.

There’s a storm coming, and darkness has already begun to settle in across the resort- 

He hopes, for both your sakes, that you’re not on the top of the mountain, lost in the trails, when the worst of the winter weather hits.

After waiting diligently for his meal order to come through, Seungcheol ends up trekking back to your cabin with food and firewood in hand just as the snow begins to get heavier.

The last thing he expects when he enters your lodging, is to find you sitting there with a minty green facemask on, and for a second, he stands in the doorway just staring at you.

You break eye contact first, calling out “Cheol’s back!” and a moment later, Mingyu comes out of the bathroom, mid-facemask application.

“Cheol!” Mingyu beams, rubbing the green goo against his cheek, “you’re back from skiing!”

“I was back earlier-” Seungcheol closes the door behind him, “stopped here for a bit but you guys weren’t around.”

“We just got back from a snowshoe hike like, twenty minutes ago?” Mingyu tells him, looking at you for confirmation. Seungcheol watches the way you nod at Mingyu, and his friend lights up. This time, when he says “twenty minutes ago,” he says it with confidence.

“Well, I brought food and firewood,” Seungcheol sighs, kicking off his snow boots and entering the small space.

“Firewood?” You’re looking at him again, and Seungcheol can’t find it within himself to meet your eyes while you’re green in the face like this, so instead, he sets the food down and moves to the small cast iron fireplace in the corner.

“Did you think this cabin heats itself?” The question comes out much snarkier than he’d intended, and he regrets it as he begins to build the fire.

“No- I mean, I noticed it was cold when we got in twenty minutes ago- but I don’t know, I sort of assumed that maybe hotel staff would bring the wood and keep the embers going-”

Seungcheol scoffs. Of course another good deed of his would go unappreciated. 

“It’s plausible!” you try to insist.

“I never said anything.”

“You scoffed, you went like-” you mimic the throaty annoyed sound he’d made, “you went like that, a scoff- you scoffed at me!”

“Here’s your dinner,” Seungcheol pushes the bag of takeout towards you across the floor, eyes fixed on the fire he’s still building.

“What if I don’t want your food? What if I want to finish with this mask and go grab food for myself?” 

Seungcheol sighs again. “There’s literally a storm coming in- if you go out, you’re going to get windswept away- just eat the food I brought.”

“What if I don’t like the food you brought?” you insist again, and Seungcheol’s getting real tired of your bratty stubbornness. 

“You will, it’s what you’ve been eating for two nights in a row.”

This finally gets you to open the bag he’d brought, and you remove the three takeout items, eying them. “How did you know I like this?”

“Like I said- you’ve eaten it two nights in a row.”

“Why were you watching?”

“Oh my god,” Seungcheol groans, running a hand through his hair. “Just say thank you and eat your fucking food while I make this fire so you don’t freeze to death- why does everything have to be so hard with you?”

There’s a long pause, and he hears the sound of a food container opening. 

He’s thankful you’ve finally shut up and are going to eat.

“Even without the fire- this cabin is well insulated enough that we wouldn’t die,” you say after a moment. “The hotel wouldn’t be able to have a cabin where its renters could just die.”

If he hadn’t just lit the fire, Seungcheol might have considered allowing you to test your theory out of spite.

“You always need to have the last word, don’t you, brat?” He stands up, dusting his hands off on his pants before turning to look at you.

You open your mouth to respond- but quickly shrink under his hard gaze.

A moment later, you pick up the remote, and a movie begins to play.

At least in this, Cheol’s gotten the last laugh. 

13: Monday - morning

“Fuck-” Jeonghan’s cursing does more to wake Joshua up than the knock at their cabin door had, and the younger irish twin goes to cover his ears while Jeonghan stumbles out of bed.

“Who is it?” Joshua groans, giving in and sitting up, squinting at the door that his brother throws open to reveal their eldest friend.

“Are you two really still sleeping?” Seungcheol pushes into the cabin, throwing his gloves down before gruffly kicking off his boots.

“What time is it?” Jeonghan asks, rubbing at his eyes and groaning before running back to nosedive into his bed.

“Late enough that you should both be awake.”

“Y/n’s not awake,” Jeonghan insists, tucking himself back under the covers, “and I don’t see Mingyu anywhere- why do they get a free pass from your bitching but we don’t?”

“Because they’re not my ski buddies today,” Seungcheol says smoothly. “Seriously, what’s up with you two- and why is it so cold in here?”

They all look towards the castiron fire place, and the emptiness of it gives Joshua a chill that he feels tingling through his entire body.

“We thought we had enough firewood to carry us over from the evening and into the night, so neither of us picked up any dry wood from the hotel yesterday-” Joshua begins to explain.

“Evidently you both ran out,” Cheol concludes, scanning the rest of the small space with his precise, all-knowing, eyes. His gaze lingers on the bottle of fireball on the coffee table. “Instead of running to get more wood, you guys took to drinking, huh?”

“It’s not like we were going to cuddle,” Jeonghan groans.

“So you’re both hung over.”

“Just a little,” Joshua sighs, swinging his legs out of his bed. “Give us half an hour and I can be up.”

“It’s funny,” Cheol says, moving to sit on the couch, “I just had a fight with your step-sister last night about whether we’d freeze to death if we forgot firewood- and at the same time, you guys were over here, resorting to fireball instead of an actual fire-”

“It’s not like we could go out and grab wood once we realized we didn’t have enough,” Jeonghan defends himself. “The storm was really bad.”

“And it’s going to be bad for the next few days,” Seungcheol tells them, “so you better get used to grabbing firewood every evening after dinner.”

Both of his friends groan. “Sure, dad,” Jeonghan buries his head in his pillows. “You know what? If you’re going to be like this, maybe I’ll sleep in and not be your ski buddy today.”  

“Mingyu ditched me yesterday, and now you’re ditching me today-” Seungcheol clicks his tongue, “am I really being that much of a dick this vacation?”

It’s Joshua who responds, pointing out, as thoughtfully as he can; “you have been more of a dick than usual.” 

To which Seungcheol replies, “Yeah, well, you guys have been pissing me off more than usual.” 

Except, Joshua knows it’s not necessarily he and Jeonghan who have been pushing Seungcheol’s buttons this trip- but he keeps that to himself. 

14: Monday - afternoon

After skipping out on skiing with his friend and brother, Jeonghan had gotten some much-needed rest. Then, around lunchtime, he’d left his cabin in search of food only to bump into you and Mingyu doing the same thing.

As if that wasn’t coincidence enough, when your odd trio had entered the resort restaurant, you’d found Joshua and Seungcheol midway through their own meals.

Jeonghan had insisted you all join together, fully intending to meddle with you and your cabin mates. After all, he’d just gotten some sleep, and his mischievous mind was eager to stir the pot.

To his disappointment, the seating arrangements make poking people’s buttons difficult- with Cheol all but ignoring you from his vantage point as far from you as possible.

Despite the less-than-ideal format of your table, Jeonghan still finds a way to draw everyone into the conversation when he states, “so I heard there was a fight over cabin temperature last night.”

This earns Jeonghan a rough kick under the table from Cheol, as well as a harsh look from you. 

“Who said that?” you ask.

“Cheol did,” Jeonghan smiles through the pain in his shin, and this time, when Cheol goes to kick him, a quick movement of his leg has him narrowly avoiding his friend’s boot. “This morning, when he came to pick of Joshie for skiing.”

“It wasn’t a fight,” you go to insist, but the harsh glare you send Seungcheol’s way has Jeonghan nearly laughing.

“Definitely not a fight,” Mingyu confirms, and Jeonghan almost feels bad for the way he’s sat between you and Seungcheol. A man caught between two stormy personalities ready for a clash.

“If it makes you feel any better,” Jeonghan says, “we ran out of wood last night, and we didn’t die.”

You sigh, leaning back in your chair. “Well, that’s good to know.” 

“Y/n was saying last night,” Mingyu adds, “that she doubted we’d die without wood- hotel regulations and everything-”

“Was Cheol insisting you’d die without a fire?” Joshua’s eyes have widened, and he leans in, elbows on the table next to Jeonghan’s food. “Cheol? Really?” 

“He was just being dramatic,” you say, and Jeonghan watches the way his friend’s ears turn red at your statement.

“Says the girl who was going to go out in the storm instead of eating the food I brought for her.” Seungcheol crosses his arms over his chest, and a muscle feathers in his jaw. He’s glaring at his plate, and a thick tension blankets the table.

Jeonghan loves it.

But then something happens that he couldn’t possibly predict: your parents enter the restaurant, and before he knows it, you’re hopping up to go say hello to Seulki and your father, leaving the men to deal with the unresolved tension.

“Are you trying to start something?” Seungcheol whispers angrily as soon as you’re out of earshot, his angry gaze fixed on Jeonghan.

“Who, me?” Jeonghan touches his chest, pretending to be the most innocent person in the room. “I was just looking for conversation. Besides, we’re the one’s who forgot firewood last night, it’s quite embarrassing for us.”

“You don’t look embarrassed,” Seungcheol notes, sitting back in his chair.

“He has no shame,” Mingyu adds, nodding sympathetically.

“You’re right, I don’t,” Jeonghan’s grin widens, and he looks over Seungcheol’s shoulder to see you leaving the restaurant. “Now that it’s just us, I suppose I should be a good big brother and figure out which one of you intends to fuck my new step-sister.”

Mingyu had been taking a sip of his drink, and now he’s choking, which only adds to Jeonghan’s delight. 

“Jeonghan,” Joshua’s harsh warning bounces off the elder brother, whose smile is becoming something akin to the Cheshire Cat’s.

“Neither of us are going for your stupid step-sister,” Seungcheol growls, thumping Mingyu on the back to aid with the water caught in his lungs.

“Oh, so you’re both in denial?” Jeonghan’s eyes widen. “I’d thought at least Mingyu would fess  up.”

“Fess up to what?” Mingyu says between coughs. “I’m just being nice to her!”

Jeonghan nods. “Sure you are.”

“Why do you all think I want to fuck your stepsister?!” Mingyu whisper screams at his friends, doing a quick look around the restaurant before adding, “you guys are all horrible.”

“Cheol’s been bugging you about this too, huh?” It’s one of the first things Joshua’s really said, and Jeonghan realizes his brother is right. 

“Bet he had a lot to say about the way you danced with our sister at the wedding.”

“Were you all watching that?!” Mingyu’s eyes have widened. 

“It was quite the spectacle,” Jeonghan plays with his glass of water. “Cheol was jealous.”

“What!?” This time, when Seungcheol misses Jeonghan’s shin with his foot, the whole table shakes from impact along the underside of it. “Was not! I didn’t even dance with her- how could I be jealous when I never even danced with your stupid sister-”

“Stop calling her stupid,” Joshua’s harsh tone is a surprise to everyone, and the table goes quiet. “Just because you’re in denial about everything doesn’t mean you get to call our new sister stupid.”

“Someone’s taking their older brother role a little seriously-” Seungcheol lets out a whistle.

“Deflect all you want,” Joshua sighs, “Change the topic and make fun of me, but at the end of the day, you’re only making things harder on yourself… both of you.”

For a moment, both Seungcheol and Mingyu are put on the spot, then Seungcheol insists, “We’re not doing anything.”

“And denial is a river in Egypt,” Joshua sighs, shocking the whole table with a pop culture quote- something that’s very unlike him. “Cheol, you’re done eating, let’s leave these two and get a few more runs in before the storm makes skiing impossible.” 

15: Monday - evening

Sitting on the floor with your roommates, roasting marshmallows on the fire while the storm rages outside, you find yourself noticing all the small details about them both.

It’s the first night that you’ve actually allowed yourself to take a breath and relax, accepting that, with the extreme weather, there is really nothing else that can be done except to work on enjoying your company.

Mingyu is easy, as you’ve grown accustomed to having him around. You’ve gotten used to his large form, the clumsiness and easy smiles.

Seungcheol, on the other hand, is something you’re newly exploring, sneaking glances at his side profile whenever you think he’s fully distracted in his marshmallow making.

Unlike Mingyu, who thrusts his treat into the fire and watches it burn, Seungcheol is meticulous about his food, preferring a spot where his marshmallow can slowly turn golden near the embers.

He’s got a pretty side profile, and there’s a stubborn set to his jaw when he focuses, eyes fixed on flames that light his face in pretty hues. 

His nose is also quite striking, and along with his strong brow, his face is altogether quite attractive, something you’ve been fighting yourself on since the moment you entered the cabin and he’d been cold to you.

There’s something about the duality of him that has your heart racing whenever he’s around. 

You’re never sure which Cheol you’re going to get.

You’ve had glimpses of his softer side, especially on your first day when he’d carried you to bed and then left you a map- then there’d been the way he brought you your dress shoes after you’d forgotten to pack them and trekked to the hotel in snow boots on the day of the wedding-

It seems as if Seungcheol is the kind of man who likes to do nice things for you when you’re not watching, but after your small altercation last night, wherein you’d realized he’s also been doing fire duty, you’ve made more of an attempt to notice small things.

 Small things like the way he takes the perfect golden marshmallow out of the fire, places it between two chocolate graham crackers, and hands it to you without a word, giving you the best s’more of the night.

He balances his kindness to you by offering Mingyu the s’more after, and you think he must be doing it as if to say ‘you’re not special, I’ll share with everyone’ but you can’t help but think there might be more to it. 

To your surprise, Mingyu is the first of the three of you to get sleepy, and after a quick washup in the bathroom, he’s collapsing onto the couch and falling asleep. 

For the first time since arriving at the cabin, you find yourself truly alone with Seungcheol, no big, human buffer to keep you both in line.

The silence is thick. Even so, in the quiet, Seungcheol gives you wide birth to go wash your face and brush your teeth while he cleans up the few items from your s’mores.

There’s hardly anything to be said, and the two of you find yourselves getting into your own beds in no time at all.

“Turning off the light,” Seungcheol tells you, hand reaching for the lamp chord. 

He pauses, waiting for your curt “okay” before following through with his statement of intent, and the room is captured in darkness.

The wind howls outside, drowning out any sounds of your roommates breathing, and for a little while, you can almost pretend you’re alone. 

Almost. 

In the dark, your mind begins to have all sorts of thoughts, and you surprise yourself when words slip out of you; “I’m sorry for calling you dramatic today.”

The air feels thick and heavy, a few beats of silence passing that almost convince you Seungcheol’s asleep, but then, he responds. “I’m sorry for referring to our disagreement last night as ‘a fight’ when I talked to Jeonghan this morning.” 

“It’s okay,” you say quietly. 

For a short while, you think nothing else is going to be said, but then; “Goodnight y/n.”

You take a breath, wrapping yourself tighter in your blankets. “Goodnight, Cheol.” 

CONTINUE READING PART 2 HERE I note. the fic was too long to be posted in one tumblr post 🤪

PATREON I Kofi I Paypal I Tumblr Masterlist

© smileysuh — all rights reserved. reposting/modifying of any fic, reaction, or piece of original writing posted on this blog is not allowed. Translations not allowed.

general taglist: (send me an ask to join either tag list:)

@gotshinct - @subhyuck - @fraechan - @learnthisfeeling

@runahways - @d-abin - @milkteade - @woogyuhae 

@anothershorthuman - @nihxxy - @vantxx95 - @bangshii

@poutypoutybin - @notbeforelong - @creepybakeoven

@ninetechculture - @yungiland - @suhsfam - @binchangf

@chogiwapadada - @librarian-stacks - @meowniee

@learnthisfeeling - @gigilame - @cumtrov3rsy

@mocha000 - @darthlunaa​ - @just-here-to-read-01​ 

svt taglist:

@romromthedeer - @strawbwebbie - @rebeccasficrecs

@alltowoo - @taestrwbrry - @13956789 - @greysdarling

@joonsneptune - @jedi-nightingale - @candidupped - @cheolussy

@yourfavoritefreakyhan -

thanks to those who interacted with the promo :)

@shmooooo - @yoongimingyu - @minnie-mouser22 - @ryusha-rose

- @itsmeas - @lydinews - @yunchans - @ilovepeachesuwu

@ginlogbi - @potatofrieswithketchup - @heavenly-mobo

[bear-remn]

— kanato headcanon's

hii, omg i laugh a little while reading this, bc its so true! kanato can be put in a stereotype and cant get him out if that but ill do my best so i hope i dont desappoint!! and ty so much for enjoying my blog, it means a lot to me that you guys like what i write and specially my art!

so here i bring kanato, and with a little warning as well as i did with laito, kanato is also a very complex and deep character, he isnt childish all the time and definetly not a kid, he is a hole ass man with the usual mommy and daddy issues (cortesy of diabolik lovers to every character)

tw: this post has nsfw content (+18) , so if you dont like it dont read it!!

kanato was so friking difficult to draw, i dont love it but in another moment ill draw him again until i like the result.

his looks and selfcare

so, kanato, i have some thoughts, to begin with lets talk about his appearence, i like to think that kanato has the kind of ethereal beauty, maybe bc he is the one who looks the most like his mother, so the beauty is serving. kanato has round eyes and long lashes, and his dark circles juts makes his gaze pop out.

oh, and kanato gaze? i think he may be the most scary one, ofc not all the time, kanato round eyes makes him have a cute and friendly gaze and as well one that sink into you the moment he see's you with dark eyes and a terrifiying aura.

i like to think that kanato has the most pretty eyes of the sakamaki brothers, and even if his brothers may say he is kind of femenine, kanato doesnt care, he may be more of a femenine beauty but still is so godamn handsome.

i like to think that kanato does not really take care of his skin. its like shu, he has a pretty and soft skin just by washing his face with water, dont have acne even he always eat sweets, but he do use a good soap like laito, a bar soap and only for his face, and really hates when his brothers use it for their hands, kanato throws it away if that happen's.

i think kanato has a sensitive skin so he has to be carefull with what he cleans himself, one time in his teen years, kanato used ayato soap by mistake and he got urticaria, but the soap was'nt used before so kanato knew it was'nt for the dirty soap, it was just a cheap soap. since then kanato only use natural soaps, he likes lavanda ones, vanilla or coconut, he likes sweets escents. also uses natural shampoo.

kanato prefers long baths bc he enjoys the hot water, and really really hates cold showers.

kanato likes to style his hair, he doesnt have fluffly hair, so he has to style it to have more volume.

i think kanato do not use sunscreen, he thinks its dumb since he is a vampire and tecnically dont age like a human so he isnt worried for that.

and since kanato has sensitive skin, i belive he also has some sensorial issues, like he can't stand someting itchy or to rough to the touch. kanato will literally burn it, he has to feel soft clothes, like cotton or silk, and yes, he loves silk, actually, kanato has slik sheets and pillows.

i think kanato has a normal sense of fashion, like i dont get why people sometimes put kanato in lolita or cute core or whatever, kanato really loves comfy clothes and more like "grandpa" clothes, like chunky sweaters, he likes to use belts and classic shoes, dont like sneakers.

and for his body, i think he does have wide shoulders, but he is skinny bc he dont excersize, it happens the same with the sunscreen, kanato think is dumb to excersize bc he has super strenght so he does'nt really need muscles to prove how powerful he is. kanato has big and slim hands, good cared nails. i also think kanato dont have a small waist, he has a more thick waist and prominent v line, but not so much like his brothers. i like to think that kanato has a mole on his side stomach.

and he also can grow a beard but dont like it, he think he looks terrible and freak out a little every time he sees a little hair on his chin.

random stuff

so, i have a lot of thoughts in kanato.

to begin with, i think kanato has a lot of sensorial issues, like he cant stand being with a big group of people for too long, the noise of people talking or just hearing them breath it makes kanato stress out a lot. this also happens with food, if the food has a weird texture he has the instict of throw up. and lastly i think this also happens with the touch, like if he touch sticky things, clumpy or bumpy, something of a strange consistency, kanato will go crazy.

and i also think (maybe canon?? im not sure) kanato is not a cry baby, its just his way of manipulate things at his favor when he needs it. i think he only has really cried for anger in his life, not really bc he is sad.

i think kanato likes to collect figures, not teddy bears of plushies, he likes specially horror figures, like lucky boxes or just iconic horror figures. and speaking of horror, kanato is a big fan! he has maga, movies and books of horror stories, he thinks humans maybe do has good ideas but sometimes he thinks its too absurd, like zombies? where did that come from?

i think kanato likes to walk, just, go around and take long walks, it help him clear his mind and dont think too much of his mother. and its no secret kanato has a hard time in rainy day so i think he listen to music with earphones bc he feels down if he hears the rain.

i also think kanato has a special way of expressiong himself with other people, like, he takes everything literal so he says things very literal, and has a short temper, cant stand stupid or slow people (me neither kanato, i got you) it gets on his nervers.

i like to think that kanato gets the ick with a lot of things, like if he sees someone drop their food and pick it up again and eat it, kanato cant belive it, or when someone says a joke that its not funny, he gets the ick, also when someone has bad taste in music, kanato cant stand bad music.

and speaking about music, kanato is a big fan of the classics singers, but also some divas, he just likes how their voice can go so high. but he dont really like singning, he despite its but love it at the same time. vampire things.

nsfw

so... kanato is one fo a kind. maybe the most kinky out of his brothers.

so to begin with, kanatos dick, a solid 16 cm, very avegare, mostly for his complexion. is a pretty dick, with a pink tip and not pubic hair, kanato has two veins coming from the croch to his tip. and its slightly pointing up with a little curve.

(and btw, so its not too crazy, the lengts i put are when they are hard, like hard and wild. i belive all the brothers are team blood, except for subaru but thats another story)

i think kanato its a switch, but he prefer to be dominant rathen than being dominated. oh and he has a really high sex drive, but not like, with everyone, when he is into you and really loves spending time with you he get the urge to be under your skin everytime he can, but likes to make you know it too, he wants you to want it.

i think kanato can be very unpredictable, mostly bc his mood swings a lot, but if you are patience and please as he wants you to, he may become interested in you, constantly looking out for you and wanting to spend time with you, thats his love lenguage, quality time!

at first i think kanato will ask you to do things for him, and in some point he will start doing things for you, like if kanato sees you cooking he may join to help, at the begining you are in shock for his actions, so caring and nice all of the sudden, but then you will get use to it, and if you two are close enough. kanato will tease you in a cute way.

"am i suppose to be impressed by your cooking? maybe if you cook topless il be more thrilled hehe"

you see, kanato is not really a dirty talker, he has a more sooting tone and his way of speak when he wants to get you in the mood its more loving and like a smooth seductive. oh and he will call you by nicknames before having sex, but during it kanato loves to say your name or call you a good girl.

i think kanato also loves spending time with you, like a little cute married couple.

and if you two are doing any other activity he suddenly will kiss you, just bc he finds you so cute and precious, he cant get his eyes off your lips, he loves kissing you. kanato is a tender kisser, likes to feel to softness of you lips and how your tongue respond to his, and if you two kiss for a while he can get worked up "you like kisses? i'll kiss every part of you, so be a good girl, okay?" and then will start kissing your neck, likes to kiss right where the big vein in your neck pump, he can feel the blood flows through his lips and that is a turn on for him.

"you like when i kiss you here dont you?... i feel how your body tremble when i do it... you're so cute like this..."

kanato takes his time with you, likes to build up the mood and stuff. when he get enough of you neck, he'll mess with your earlobe and your chest. kanato dont love to be rough in bed so the foreplay is really calm and slow. will put his knee bewteen your legs as he suck on your tits, likes to play with your boobs, suking your nipples makes him so hard while hearing you moan softly while gripping his hair, and he loves when you hold onto his hair.

kanato is'nt a rusher but when you had enough of teasing he will take your clothes, and i mean it, kanato will tear them from your body.

"i don't care about your clothes, i'll buy you nices dresses so i can rip every one off your body"

and maybe unexpected, but kanato do likes 69, likes to eat you out so much, he think that your juices are as good as your blood, and he definetly makes you eat pinapple with him for this moment. he likes to tease your clit and sometimes will stick a finger inside you as he keeps on sucking you. and a little detail i like, i that when you suck him off, kanato doesnt realize his hips moves unvoluntary, so sometimes you may gag, and after you cum or he does, your eyes will be really watery from how many times he thrust into your troat.

oh, and he also likes to play with candles while fucking you, like when he is inside but not moving waiting for you to feel confortable, kanato will take a candle and with his powers he get the fire to melt a little so little but hot drops of candle fall into your stomach and chest.

kanato is a classic, loves missionary, mostly bc he loves to watch your face while fucking you, kanato is a slow and deep kind of guy, like he makes sure you feel him real good so he tends to take it all out to put it back again. and really loves seeing how it goes in, he thinks its very romantic to see how your bodies make one.

"you should see this... you take me so well... so good for me... you're such a good girl for me..."

and when the pace become steady he will be hipnotized by your tits bouncing, he loves your boobs. probably will stick a finger inside your mouth as he keep going.

but i also think kanato can be a player, a really kinky one.

for started, kanato likes the dinamic where he is the one in charge and you are his slave, his pleasure slave, and when he is in that kind of mood, kanato will tie you up, use his powers to make you stay still and play with you, loves to edge you, cut your pleasure gives him pleasure, hearing your cries for not cuming and desperate moans makes him really hard.

like if your are getting fingered he will take his fingers before you cum and if you attempt to touch yourself he will use his powers to make you stay still "oh... dont be a bad girl, you'll come when i say so... either way i am the one controling your body... hehe" and then he will finger you hard to make you cum, kanato loves to hear how wet your pussy get that he will ride you trough you climax by oral.

and he has make you squirt but he doesnt know how, the firts time you squirt was on a busy night, you had come a lot by that point and he just keep going even after you just cum, no breaks, so kanato was amused when he sees how you wet the bed and his legs got, he thought it was so hot that he got mad bc he didnt get to drink it all.

and if kanato feels to horny, probably for the full moon, he will get savage. starting soft and nice but at some point of the night kanato will be basically destroying your pussy, like fucking you so pussy drunk he cant stop even if you had cum before. loves to heard the wet sound every thrust makes.

"fuck... you might eat me tonight... hehe... how can you feel so good huh?... keep cuming... i have more for you" and with his sloppy thrust, cocky grind and needy eyes. dear lord.

when kanato is about to cum he will start to fuck you a little harder, and will bite you at the moment too sometimes. kanato will thrust deep as he feel it coming.

"be a good girl and take it... yes... such a good girl for me.."

the aftercare its two ways, or you and him cuddle for a while and then sleep after cleaning himself and you with wet wipes, or you two go for a snack before goign to sleeep. you know, to keep the sugar high.

and when you two are well rested he may began kissing your neck again while playing with you nipples "you deserve a reward for making me feel so good... i think you are able to take another one... right?"

── more of my content here!

[babyspacekwid]

Astrology Observations and Advice ✨ (TW talks of ED)

From a non professional astrologer who has no idea wtf she’s posting half the time 💕

Chiron 4th house in Capricorn, Your dad may be very hard on you, like a perfectionist dad. Could have also been abusive. Could be the type to comment on your shortcomings. Remember that you are enough as it is, don’t be so hard on yourself, treat yourself as you would a friend. With compassion and kindness. Its okay to make mistakes in life. It’s common to have daddy issues with this placement, so try not to let that affect your love life, this is a personal placement of mine😜 rlly into toxic men, but they ain’t good for me, so let us be aware of that. Don’t take life too seriously, do the serious shit without being too serious about it. Idk if that makes sense but for example, let’s say u got a math test, do the math test seriously, like study and shit but don’t let the stress of it consume you because it rlly ain’t that serious.

Aries moon, especially men y��all’s temper is unregulated af. Ive seen y’all snap at stuff that energy shouldn’t be wasted on, y’all are one of the most emotionally reactive signs I have ever met. Like a ticking time bomb. This moon sign might have experienced a mother figure that was harsh and emotionally neglectful. Very hard on you, wasn’t that nurturing when raising you. The type of mom to tell you to get up and wipe the dust off when you fall and scrape your knee as a kid. y’all gotta delve into those emotions in a healthier manner. Therapy and journaling could be very beneficial. Go to one of those rage rooms where ppl break shit, I feel like y’all would go all out. There’s definitely some pent up anger. This goes for Scorpio moons too, y’all is more internal though, got some deep dark thoughts and intense internal feelings that could easily overwhelm which is why downtime is needed.

Speaking of some Scorpio moons I have met, don’t let your trust issues fuck things up. This a hard placement, y’all feel things so deeply, but just cause one person backstabbed you don’t mean everyone will. Open up to people, trial and error and you’ll find that person. Obviously set boundaries and don’t just trauma dump on everyone you meet, but don’t build an invisible wall as soon as you meet someone. Not everyone is out to get you.

(TW) Taurus risings I’ve met have dealt with some type of eating disorder. Could have had family members or people comment on their weight as a child or just got rlly influenced by the negative parts of social media. Every taurus rising I’ve met has dealt with body issues, y’all are actually so beautiful though, and I’m sorry you don’t hear it often,no matter the size. You guys are also so photogenic, like maybe I’m just the type of person that sees human beings as cute in general but istg y’all could be making the ugliest of faces and I’d still think it’s charming 😭 my best advice would be to stop comparing yourselves, and to learn unconditional love towards your body at every stage it’s at. We’re gonna be 60 and wrinkly anyways, might as well enjoy what it can do for you now!

I have this friend who’s a Capricorn sun and moon, and as a Gemini sun and moon myself I feel so similar to her in like every aspect. Idk if it’s because we’re both born on a new moon, but anyways, this girl needs to learn to open up😭 like hun I wanna be your shoulder to cry on, don’t get me wrong she will vent, and spill the tea, but when the waterworks come out she’d rather isolate. I’m just like naurrrrrr, come back. I might not be comfortable with tears and shit but il awkwardly pat your back and listen to you. Either way y’all don’t be afraid to be vulnerable, you aren’t a burden and you can’t deal with it yourself. Stop trynna convince yourself that you can. Humans are social creatures and our primal instinct is to receive and give love. M

ANYWHOOOO y’all I rlly ain’t that knowledgeable about this shit, I’m rlly going off my friend’s placements (and mine). I am studying astrology tho so maybe one day 🤠 but I got the memory of a goldfish so it might take a while, I appreciate everyone who’s been liking my posts though THANK YOU💕💕💕💕

[kerubimcrepin]

Wakfu Season 3, Episodes 1-6

//tw mentions of SA

Episode 1 - Fallen Heroes

I had a very long discussion with a friend of mine, who is a fan of medical settings, about how cool the existence of IV within the lore of Krosmoz is.

We didn't come to any conclusion. It was just us fanboying about this. Because my friend loves medical things and I love putting character into situations (some of which would not be survivable, if them being put on IV wasn't possible) (big fan of the concept of Joris getting poisoned and very sick and Kerubim and Atcham freaking the fuck out).

Funnily enough, during the making of my YouTube series, I discovered that there are two Sram-venerating women named Toxine in this franchise.

Adamai harbouring feelings of violence towards the members of the brotherhood is a good idea, (<- obviously the guy that wants Joris to beat the shit out of Kerubim would say this), but man, it could have been so cool if someone competent was working with this idea.

Episode 3 - Oropo's Tower

I should admit, this moment was probably a big win for Tristepin Mental Illness fans. Also, this is sadly the most explicit they can get with the reasons why Tristepin might hate being the Iop god in a cartoon.

He has plenty of reasons. Not only had Iop had 394824 demigods who hated him and felt abandoned by him while suffering fates worse than death (all gods have those) and just as many mortals he took advantage of using the power imbalance of godhood and promises of love (all gods have done that), he also canonically sexually assaulted a woman.

Ngl, if I was Tristepin, I would be considering killing myself — however, the kids and the wife would be sad.

They shuoild do this to Yugo too. He also had other wives. Albeit in an infinitely less insane way than Tristepin. Ankama.., please stop ignoring how existentially horrifying the Eliatrope demigods are.

In the Dofus MMO Kerubim pretty much calls the brotherhood of the forgotten an emo club of people with too much free time on their hands doing nothing but whining about their daddy issues.

And he was so real for that.

Btw canonically, Mishelle/Coqueline makes him feel intimidated (due to her grand age) while she herself doesn't really care about him (besides liking his good attitude towards animals), and is actually besties with Otomai.

Episode 4 - Beastly Girl

I like to headcanon that Joris's relationship with Coqueline is that he projects onto her ("oh god.... being 7 forever would make me kill myself.... even being 3ft tall is already horrible and makes me want to die..... the poor woman must be suffering") while she's like,, 1. probably doesn't think of herself as a "woman". I think she would describe herself as a creature, maybe a girlcreature, and 2. is literally chilling and doesn't give a single shit about anything but animal welfare and direct anti-god action.

I think talking to her would kill Joris because he'd realize that not every immortal person is as insecure about Literally Everything as he is.

She literally says, "the only good gods are ex-gods". We stan a leftist girlcreature?

This screenshot can be used as a reaction image for so many different shows. More fictional parents should say "my child is NOT ascending to godhood and shedding their mortality, becoming something beyond my comprehension, before they're of age. Fuck you."

Episode 5 - A Iop Hides Himself to Cry

You want to read @bitter-panacea's analysis posts about Goultard so bad.

Despite my negative feeling on s3, this is a WIN for Goultard fans, as far as I'm aware. (and Goultard enjoyers, since I kinda consider myself one)

I;'m going to walk into the sea.

Episode 6 - The Ecaflip's Scratching Post

YEAH BABY, A FULL ON IN-SHOW CONFIRMATION OF MY "USH HAS A DIFFERENT MOM THAN KERUBIM AND ATCHAM" HYPOTHESIS.

This might not seem like a contentious issue to normal people. Gods have... a lot of different lovers, so it seems normal to assume that Ush has one mom, while Kerubim and Atcham are twins like Eleley and Flopin, and have a different mom...

But a cancelled game that Tot really liked and still considers canon had really weird "there's an Ecaflip priestess who is the CEO of Giving Birth" lore, and was planned to be the mysterious mom of Kerubim and Atcham (and many other demigods), which contradicts a lot of previously established lore (ankama LOVES retcons. sadly).

I am quite open about thinking this is stupid and not considering this canon until they show her to me in an actual released media (and even then I will find a way to headcanon a better reality). Seeing the series itself acknowledge that Ush is not Atcham and Kerubim's full brother makes me feel quite better.

Hi Ush were you doing [SEXUAL ACTS REDACTED] upon cats again.

Cute...

A normal thing for a Bontarian to do. Blue-clad (metaphorically, he isn't wearing blue but white. Still very Bontarian though) man over here protecting kids and women. While also beating them up.

But unironically, I think it's cute that he has this gap moe of being an evil man who also saves people and cares about honour (because that's a proper thing to do) despite cheating constantly.

Somehow, his shallowness and "I mostly care about appearances, even if I do have a moral code" sort of behaviour is just as Extremely Bontarian as Joris's.... 30 mental illnesses.

THE OST IN THIS EP IS SO GOOD. ECAFLIP FANS WINNING ONCE AGAIN.

Hey past me! Maybe he really does pay these cats to put up with his insane behaviours. 🤨

Yugo, I'm gonna be real with you:

he's probably heard Joris and Kerubim say these exact words at least twice before,

He is reallllllly weird about cats and I am unsure if that's illegal in your setting,

He lured in people to kill in his tower for sport serial killer style.

He's bontarian. -20 morality and honor points immediately.

[realtasagartach]

The Subtle Abuse and Manipulation in Hazbin Hotel

TW: Discussions of abuse, manipulation, and parental alienation

(Alt: The Completely Unnecessary Dick-Measuring Contest Between Two Idiots With Too Much Pride)

Hazbin Hotel has recently released its first season, and I have observations. There are quite a few things I can write about, but I’m going to focus on the fifth episode, “Dad Beat Dad” and its insert song, “Hell’s Greatest Dad” and how completely unnecessary this competition was. But also about something I don't see talked about enough.

The episode opens with Charlie freaking out over why the hotel isn’t working, and Vaggie suggests getting help from her father. Charlie is initially resistant to the idea but perks up at the thought of asking him to get her a meeting with Heaven.

Here, we meet Lucifer. And honestly, I appreciate Lucifer’s depiction in this. He’s awkward, goofy, and “Take that depression” had no right to be that relatable. I’ve read enough about how Lucifer can’t relate to his daughter because his guilt for giving free will bogged down his consciousness. And we see this very clearly in his songs. In “Hell’s Greatest Dad”, he offers Charlie to give her lavish material things and “rig the game because [he’s] the ref”. Peak “I don’t understand another’s feelings, so I’ll supplement it with material objects” kind of transactional relationship, despite Charlie wanting to connect to him on a more personal and emotional level. Something that they achieve in their second song, “More Than Anything”.

But that’s where my analysis of Lucifer will end. For now.

I’d like to focus on Alastor in this essay. Alastor comes into the episode as everyone is getting the hotel ready for Lucifer’s visit, then introduces himself with instant passive-aggression and, “You might have heard of me from my radio broadcast”. To which Lucifer says, “Nope!” insults him right back, and we get Alastor’s first swear word on this show. Hilarious.

Now, it’s clear as day that Alastor’s part in the song was just to get under Lucifer’s skin. Vivziepop even confirmed this and that Alastor doesn’t actually see Charlie as a daughter. (This video at 3:50)

Side Note: The line where Alastor tells Charlie, “You could almost call me ‘Dad’” was the creepiest part of Alastor’s character for me. I’ve had guys try that with me before, which brought up bad memories.

But this entire sequence was more than irritating Lucifer just because he didn’t know who he was. Charlie is very much a sentimental person who likes buzzwords and talking about feelings rather than material items and power. She’s literally the Princess of Hell and refuses to use her authority because “That’s so meeeaan!!!” But this makes her very naïve and susceptible to manipulations.

I’m saying that Alastor competing against Lucifer is unnecessary because there’s no reason to try and sway Charlie from getting her father’s help. Let’s assume that Alastor knew why Lucifer was there. Alastor is an Overlord. He’s right in between the Sinners and the Ars Goetia in Hell’s hierarchy. And he’s not even the strongest Overlord around. He may be consorting with royalty, but nobody respects them. He’s not gaining any power, especially after his seven-year “sabbatical”. He wants a deal with Charlie for whatever reason, so he helps her with her hotel. But even he can’t get the angels to meet with Charlie, which is what she wants.

Alastor is basically abusing Charlie. There’s emotional manipulation, singing, “I’m your guy, your day-to-day, your chum, your steadfast hotelier” and reminding her how much help he’s been to her. And then there’s the parental alienation and isolation with that “dad” line and that, “Sadly, there are times a birth parent is a dud. They say the family you choose is better”. He’s trying to get Lucifer out of Charlie’s support system and is playing on her “daddy issues” to make her trust her more. These are classic abuse tactics to keep the abuser in power. It's not as in your face as Valentino with Angel Dust, but it's still there if you listen to the song.

As someone who is a victim of parental alienation and manipulation, coupled with what Alastor says in the seventh episode, I’m getting more and more worried for Charlie as the story goes on. I understand that the show wouldn’t have been able to progress without him, but I also wouldn’t put it past Vivziepop to make him the Big Bad.

[gabrielsbubblegumbitch]

do you have any opinions on the hazbin critical and vivziepop critical tags?

tw // mentions of sexual abuse and sucide

I have a personal beef with them. And not because I love Hazbin and Vivzie so much but for more presonal reasons so the following opinion won't be measured at all.

Now, don't get me wrong, there are some legit criticisms out there. Like, the show could definitely do better with body diversity and giving us more varied sapphic relationships instead of just throwing a ton of male/male couples at us. And, yeah, Vivzie's response to some of the criticism has been... questionable. (I still cringe when I think about that one time she explained that Raphielle can ship ValAngel because they are sa survivor, but Raphielle explicitly admitted to not be one).

But then, there's stuff that's just... pulled out of nowhere. Like the whole thing about Valentino being a "fetish character." Come on, the world of villains is filled with queer, flamboyant baddies. What sets Valentino apart is how his abusive behavior is shown in the open, making us rethink our love for villains. If it weren't for Mascarade, people would worship this moth daddy gangster in a dress, much like they are with Vox now. It's hard to root for the bad guy when you see the fallout of their actions. Like, Loki committed war crimes and no one was outraged when he got his own TV series and dragged creators for supporting atrocities.

Constant Valentino/Angel Dust discourse actually leads to the more serious issues I have with this "community", more harmful than just "bad media literacy" like the way they handle the topic of sexual abuse and weaponize it, without ever listening to victims. There is this constant shitstorm about Angel being a "bad sa survivor rep," that the way he's written is insensitive because "he shouldn't be horny, he's sexually traumatized." Like, do these people not understand that making Angel unable to enjoy his sexuality the way he wants would essentially mean acknowledging that it's no longer his but belongs to his abuser now? Also, the argument I keep seeing that drives me BAT SHIT CRAZY aka "I can enjoy this media that is centered around murderer, you cannot enjoy the media that treats rapist as a nuanced character because rape is objectively worse than murder." WHO THE FUCK TOLD YOU THAT? Reading this makes me feel so angry and sad and guilty because frankly, I was raped, and of course, it was horrible but still I'd choose it any time over being murdered. Because I have my life, I'm loved, and I love, I pursue my dreams, and I can still experience so many good things in my life. Painting sexual assault as this worse-than-death experience is not the feminist take they think it is and does not do victims any good.

Or accusations that Vivzie's support of fandom bullying led to someone taking their life. It's such a ridiculous and harmful claim. Honestly, this thing always makes me heated because suicide is not an easy decision, ask any person who ever faced it. It's not like "ah, this stranger told me to kms, I guess I gotta do it now." Of course, any kind of bullying and abuse adds to the suffering and can be the final trigger, but to me, it's just so disrespectful and harmful that someone could have experienced prolonged, intense suffering and all of this is omitted, their death labeled as a result of "fandom bullying" and weaponized in fandom drama. Also, it's simply cruel to put the blame for it on one, uninvolved person.

Also, it always annoys me when people hold small creators to immensely high standards while not doing the same with others. If we keep lynching and canceling every media that is not objectively morally pure, we won't be left with only perfect media. We will be left with media produced by white, privileged billionaires who might be real-life rapists, abusers, and thieves but are too powerful to be taken down by social media outrage. Hazbin's success is a major W for the underappreciated medium of animation (we saw what WB did to 90% of their animated shows), unpopular genres like musicals (Wonka creators were literally too ashamed to market it as one??), and unapologetic queer narratives that are not written for a heteronormative audience or centered around queer oppression (ofmd, the other medium I can think of in that realm has just been canceled). I can't stand people so desperate to put it down driven by their black-or-white sense of morality. Kant won't be patting your back for being the Moraliest Person because you bullied an indie creator and her fans.

Also everyone who feels the need to explain me hazbin critical agenda - save your breath. I'm very emotional about it and I frankly don't fucking care why you think you are right.

[mdhwrites]

Gravity Falls Versus The Owl House: How Did It Write It's Women; A Flawed Comparison

If you compare a wlw story and an mlm story and ask which story used women better, 9/10 you're going to to get the answer you expect. One story prioritizes a gender over the other and so they are going to utilize that gender better, just how like some genres will inherently be in a better place to use certain elements better. Would you compare a shounen show and a slice of life show for which one has better action? No, because that would be an unfair comparison.

That is what this blog is actually about. It's about rhetorical devices we use in our debates and arguments. Because why do people even ask this question? Dipper is the main character of Gravity Falls, above all others. Luz is the main character of TOH, above all others. His core supporting cast is mostly guys with one who is a girl, Mabel, who is used as a comedic balance to him and then one more beyond that with Wendy. Luz has a primarily female cast around her with the exceptions of one core member, King, who is used as a comedic balance to her, and Gus beyond that. Both shows include both genders but by all means, they do not use them in the same way. Their priorities are different. Gravity Falls is a very male centric story. TOH is a very female centric story. So... What's the better comparison?

Does The Owl House write male characters better than Gravity Falls writes its female characters? I can't give an answer to that because I haven't watched Gravity Falls but so long as you take in the legwork to make comparable comparisons, fair comparisons, I would say the core issue people have with how the secondary gender is used in each work is valid.

From what I have heard, the problem people have with the female characters in Gravity Falls is that they're underutilized and that their plots focus around romance. Now, romance is not a negative thing in and of itself so we need to properly analyze this complaint. The problem with the focus being on romance is that the homogeny of it across characters flattens them, made worse by using something that is seen as such a stereotypical, basic plot for the gender. Is there a counter to that amongst guys? Yeah. Machismo. If you write a dude character, inadequacy, proving himself and flexing his toxic masculinity is essentially the number one most basic plot because that's what testosterone does to someone.

We all remember that S1 King is literally just toxic masculinity incarnate, right? Like literally every episode is just about him using others in order to make himself look better before learning to treat people better but then not actually doing so. It's really shitty, one dimensional and oh right, that's also what Gus is doing in his two episodes (both of them include lying to make himself look better) and also Hunter's entire life in the EC is about proving himself better than others, even at the cost of others which is the closest this element comes to actually being addressed. So... Yeah, I would say that they are 2 dimensional, homogeneous characters who are all just some amount of stereotype of 'dude'. The loud dude, the silly dude and the tragic dude. And yes, we can argue that these change but Gus loses his entire character, Hunter just becomes tragedy and Gus goes with most common plot B for both genders: Daddy issues. It's like trying to say because Mabel also likes girly things, she's some nuanced character. A second stereotypical trait does not a stereotype fix.

So, once again, why do we ask which show wrote women better? Well, there's two cynical answers and one I find more interesting but sadly the least likely. The first is that Gravity Falls still has more clout than Amphibia, TOH and many other cartoons with female focus coming out right now. As such, being able to get an easy, cheap win makes the show you like more look better. It's explicitly using the unfair comparison maliciously, even if not consciously maliciously.

Two: For a lot of extremely valid and good reasons, we analyze how women are written and kind of just ignore writing the male gender. Like when was the last time you saw something, outside of I guess the times I've talked about how TOH is fucking awful at writing guys, analyzing male writing that wasn't just whining about not putting a female lead into the work they want. To make it clear, that's not what this is. Even now, I do have to include that I don't think TOH's writers were being misandrists or the like. No, this comparison explicitly showcases how the show recycled how other shows handle their secondary gender and thus recreated all of its problems. It's not malicious but it is something that happens when you aren't being actually smart about your storytelling .

Three: TOH never really even attempts to pretend like its male characters are anything but jokes. Like... Literally ever. The closest is trauma child Hunter and the point of him is "Look how miserable this fucker is." Otherwise, they rarely come up in plotlines, especially plotlines the fandom remembers, and are the constant butt of jokes. Episode one of TOH has King be mocked for the things he will be mocked for for the entire season and his one moment of real pathos being how childish he is and that being a bit charming. Compare that to episode one of Gravity Falls where even as early as that, the push and pull of priorities between the twins is creating conflict between them but also strength between them. The first time a male character is given ANYTHING like that is Hunter, who shows up in S2 and Hunter is not complex. People want him to be, which is why people talk about JUST Hunter, but in general, he isn't. He's just a worse Amity because he is simplified to just trauma and the need to prove himself and little more.

Quick note: Yes I'm focusing on the guys on the good side but the Collector and Belos are still both examples of toxic masculinity, just, you know, very explicitly and in very awful ways when related to the modern day. Also, neither get much screen time really. They're both absentee villains, leading to stuff like how The Collector is an entirely inconsistent character and Belos doesn't get things like a backstory.

All of this though, the lack of attention, importance, etc. like that creates the fact that... Why would you want to talk about the guys? Why would you consider them to be a similar grouping to the girls in Gravity Falls? It is genuinely a fair blind spot. I mean, who fucking remembers the fact that King has three plus B plots in S1 where the whole premise is "King gets a minion and learns that using people is a bad thing?" Those parts of the show are boring, bland and repetitive so just dump them and move on.

People compare the girls in Gravity Falls to other shows because they care about them. That's WAY better than you can say about the guys in TOH. That doesn't make the comparison fair though so if you really wanna do some proper analysis, maybe think a little broader next time? Otherwise, you might forget to take a whole gender of people seriously, just like both of these shows. See you next tale.

======+++++======

Small note: Just like how a romance plot for a female character is not inherently a bad idea, neither is one about incompetence and machismo for a male one. It's the stereotypical story for that gender for a reason because boy are we some stupid dumbasses out to prove ourselves.

I have a public Discord for any and all who want to join!

I also have an Amazon page for all of my original works in various forms of character focused romances from cute, teenage romance to erotica series of my past. I have an Ao3 for my fanfiction projects as well if that catches your fancy instead. If you want to hang out with me, I stream from time to time and love to chat with chat.

A Twitter you can follow too

And a Kofi if you like what I do and want to help out with the fact that disability doesn’t pay much.

[amorhedera6]

((this turned out longer and more in depth then i meant for it to go, tw for abusive families, suicidal ideation, mentions of death, grief, and dismembering of a body))

headcannon that steph and max were best friends as kids. his dads an important man, one that solomon wanted on his side. so he pushed steph to spend time with his son. max was a super happy kid, very exciteable, loved musicals. they were on their own a lot, since neither of their parents really gave a shit, so they’d spend a lot of time at starlight theatre, watching all the different shows and things going on. max would tell her about how shitty his dad was and she’d do the same in return.

when they got to the 7th grade, steph got really depressed and pushed max and everyone else away. and max was little, they both didn’t really know what was going on. after that, they weren’t ever really close like that again. she got on the middle school football team and was deemed a prodigy, got popular, started getting all these friends that would do whatever he said. things with his dad got worse, and without steph to help him he started bullying to corral his emotions. steph knew what he was doing, but also knew it wasn’t serious. he pushed a few people around a little, that’s all. she didn’t think she had to be worried about her friend and now that he was super popular, she needed other people to spend her time with.

she also became cool, just because he said hi to her in the hallways, so she found herself in with his group. but she never truly felt she fit in, skirting along the edges. in high school, her friends all joined the cheer squad as she joined the smoke club and stop giving a shit about school. she never made sense in the “popular kid” crowd, but she assumed they kept her around bc she was the mayor’s daughter and pushing her out wouldn’t fly. it was actually max, making sure she got an invite to every party.

steph sort of floats through high school disassociatedly, in the my-home-life-is-terrible-and-isn’t-gonna-get-better-until-college-so-i-don’t-give-a-shit way, so she doesn’t see the escalation of max knowing no one will stop him doing anything, getting a total god complex, and ruling the school with violence, until pete. she’s probably the only person in hatchetfield high that doesn’t know, but it surprised her so much. bc max? the boy who would geek out over tech production of the musicals? the kid who let her be the captain when they were pirates bc he thought it was more fun to be the first mate? who’d stay up late with her when she had a bad day to read the books their moms were had promised to read to them? that boy is this horrible bully, and she didn’t even know it? it just doesn’t make sense.

she says she’ll go to the principal bc that’s the first instinct one has about this shit, but people started doing that in 8th grade, and all that happens is max has to go to an anti bullying thing every few months. she wants to talk him down, figure out what made him go this far, but she already knows it’s his dad. he wants to be the big impressive football star that his dad wants him to be, so maybe he’ll actually give a shit. he wants his dad to notice and tell him to stop, because then it would mean he was paying attention to what he did. daddy issues recognize daddy issues, and steph sees it in max, even if she did have prior knowledge. she goes along with grace’s plan bc she thinks it’ll be a good ego check to bring him down, but then. then.

she goes home and cries herself to sleep, feeling responsible for the death of her first real friend. she gets sick for weeks with flashes of her dismembering his body with the others, and while every one else’s seems to think the school’s getting better, all stephanie can think is “did no one else fucking care about him? even a little?” all his friends, the football guys, even her friends on the cheer squad, seem to not care about max’s disappearance as much as they care about his missing spot on the field. she starts to skip more until she decides to hang out with pete instead. he must be guilty too, be haunted by these images, but then he says “everything is objectively better.”

which she gets. people are free from his torment, they can do what they want, talk to who they want, etc. the hallways are brighter, people are happier, whatever. but max was still a person. steph wonders if the plan had gone right, maybe he would’ve come back down from his god complex and been more like she remembered him. if he would’ve done the spring musical like he’d always wanted to do but never felt like he could. if he would’ve hated her for it forever. she’d rather he hate her forever than her have helped kill him.

when they have to start talking about what happened, she tries to call him jägerman, tries to disconnect her friend from what happened, because he truly was drastically different, but it was hard. after richie and ruth, shut goes crazy and max is back, but he’s not really max. she feels like the worst friend in the world when she think “he looks like his dad”

because mr jägerman has always been a being full of rage and anger, not one to hide in his own home. she’d seen him scream and yell at max for being a regular little kid, not special at all. not the perfect son he wanted. max, this weird spector of max, is all rage, no heart. even when max was at his worst, he had some heart. he kept her in the “cool group” even though she made no sense there, let grace go unbullied bc he had a crush on her. this wasn’t max. this was a personification of his dying moments, the only thing the waylon place did was preserve, and maybe further his anger.

she wants to beg pete to kill her the way he begs her to kill him. she started all this, even if she denied it at beanies, it’s true, and she is probably the only one who could have helped max stay a regular guy instead of the egomaniac ruler of the school he became. but she can’t get the words off her tongue. so long she’s been thinking about how easier everyone’s lives would be if she just killed herself, and now she can’t even do this. he gets on his knees in the football field, she raises the gun from twenty yards away, and thinks about how many people this thing that isn’t really max has killed.

she forces herself to pull the trigger.

max stops the bullet.

grace fucks the ghost, and all is well. except she’s met gods who seem like they want to eat her, and now her father’s dead too. he was an asshole, he never really cared about her, but she sobs for hours n the big empty house on pinebrook, and wishes desperately that she had made pete do it.

she and pete check on each other, because he also lost two people important to him, and they hold each other up. get each other through it. help each other mourn. she meets his older brother, he helps her clean out her father’s office. they go to funerals together and hold hands, and don’t talk about it.

it takes her a little while to realize his homecoming offer is still up, since things are technically different now. she buys a dress and tells him only the color, and he wears a matching bow tie. it’s such a ridiculously peter thing to do, and it makes her laugh for the first time in a while. they laugh together a lot that night, and she helps him breathe through a panic attack in the bathroom when ruth’s favorite song comes on.

she tells him about the images she can’t get out of her head, maxs body in pieces, the blood everywhere, that she burned the clothes she wore that day bc she couldn’t get the smell of blood and bleach out no matter how often she washed it. he tells her that he’s having flashbacks like that too, and that he wishes he could talk to his therapist about it without being sent to jail or a mental hospital.

she talks to detective shapiro and gets her to send a letter to peters therapist that he’s not gonna be arrested so pete can talk his shit out. at least the non-ghost and demon stuff. the dismembering a guy stuff, though, he can talk about.

it gets her thinking about therapy and getting some. she’s 18, she’s got more money than is necessary from her father, and she thinks she’s going crazy. she looks into it and finds one, starts going once a week. he tells steph he things she has adhd, sends her to a psychiatrist who confirms the diagnosis. she gets some drugs to take, and she feels weird about taking them. she’s done drugs, but like the cool ones. she knows not to do drugs you’re unfamiliar with when your alone, and she feels like she’s a lot of that.

homecoming was fun, but she and pete still haven’t out any label in their relationship. they haven’t said i love you, even though everything that went down means the both know it. she wants to be his girlfriend, but she doesn’t want to ask. wants him to ask. she tells her therapist as much, and then complains that she’s paying him bc she’s got daddy issues and trauma, not to hear about her high school drama.

but miraculously, he does ask her to be his gf. and then they’re dating, and it’s great. she spends more time at his apartment with his brother, less time alone in the big empty house just thinking about max and her hand in who he became. he and her therapist together convince her to start taking the meds, and it helps with some of her problems, but not all of them.

she forces herself to keep living, even when she doesn’t want to, because that’s what max (her best friend, the kid who was too scared tontry out for the musical, the asshole, the boy she knew better than herself, the adult she apparently hardly knew, the spector she could only half recognize) would want from her.

[starkeyshirt]

Manipulated

little! rafe cameron

caregivers! the pogues

in which rafe is manipulated by more people than just his father.

tw//: manipulation, low self esteem, guilt, feeling unwanted, pushing, talk of drug use (cocaine).

<<•>>

When people hear of Rafe Cameron, their minds drift to the cocaine addicted, polo shirt wearing, bad tempered young man with a rich dad and a pretty sister. Those who know him better think of a cold blooded killer, the guilty suspect in Sheriff Peterkin's murder and an accomplice in several others. But truly, do any of those people really know Rafe Cameron?

Rafe Cameron is a boy with a complex personality, substance abuse issues, and a devotion to his father. It's hard to look at such a bad person and think, "Hmm, maybe he's just misunderstood." But the truth about Rafe is that he isn't a bad person; he's a lost boy with daddy issues to a point causing damage beyond repair.

Throughout his entire life, Rafe has wanted to please his father. He wanted to draw the pictures in art class he thought his father would like and do good in the subjects his father enjoyed. He wanted to beat his sister in making his father a father's day breakfast or in buying him a new watch. Rafe wanted to hear his father tell him he was proud of him. He wanted his fathers trust and love, he wanted to be useful and needed with every step he took.

Rafe was never a mean kid. When he was a little boy he didn't have many friends and he didn't like going to school. The other kook boys were loud and obnoxious and uncaring, and Rafe was quieter with a lazier personality. When he first started kindergarten, being his father's only child attending school at the time, he cried every day when his father picked him up and clung to him for dear life. He couldn't tell anyone why; it was that childish urge to hold onto your parents and cry and never let go. He didn't want to be in school wearing polos and khaki pants, he just wanted to be at home with his daddy.

Then one day, when Rafe came crying to his father at the end of the school day, Ward Cameron didn't bend down and scoop his distraught son into a comforting hug. Rafe could tell his father was on the phone, and even though he took his hand and led him to the truck, his father paid him no attention whatsoever. As Rafe sniffled in the backseat, he listened to his father's phone call. It was something about Sarah being upset with whatever babysitter had to watch her while their dad was at work. When they picked his crying little sister up and his father cuddled her and talked to her and comforted her the whole way home, little Rafe felt anger for the very first time. He hated his sister and his father for liking her more.

That night while she slept, Rafe cut a chunk of her hair out with safety scissors.

Rafe was never the same after that day, and he was suddenly aware of the dynamics in their household. Sarah always came first, Rafe was always second. Sarah didn't have to compete for anything, but Rafe sure did. He learned to really and truly hate his sister, to take everything from her that he could in hopes that his father would someday realize he was just as good of a person.

As he grew older, Rafe also grew erratic, impulsive, and emotionally unstable. He received little to no love from his father by the time he was nine, but he still spent every waking moment trying to receive that praise that only Ward could give him. And we all know how things went from there.

Rafe was aware of the things he's done; he knew he was wrong and the guilt ripped away at him everyday. But there were things about Rafe that nobody knew; people controlling him who weren't his father.

•••

Rafe didn't know what he was supposed to do. His brain was short circuiting, but he knew Barry was pissed.

"You do realize what you did, right man? By hurting the guy, you're putting a target on my back, Country Club!" Barry yelled, shoving his finger into Rafe's chest. He watched him quiver.

"I- I didn't know what to do! He was gonna kill him!" Rafe stuttered back, shoving his arms forward in a weak attempt at proving his point.

Barry laughed and rolled his eyes. "That's what you signed up for!"

"I changed my mind..." Rafe mumbled, rocking forward to place his head in his hands. Tears welled at his eyes and his chest was stinging.

Barry knew how to work Rafe. He had his brain wired so he performed when he needed him to but also in a way that Barry could trigger when he crashed. And Barry liked to think he was the only person who could control Rafe in that way; he helped Rafe discover that softness, and he was the only one who could access it.

Rafe's abandonment from his father caused strains on his mental state. A lifetime of fighting for his father's praise, competing for his love - well, that left very little time for a childhood or any way to relax. Barry saw it before Rafe even knew it happened. When Rafe reaches his breaking point and emotions spill from his eyes, that's when Barry can see his mind drifting away; it's a clear switch of mindsets, of headspaces, that Barry recognized well. Something he has used for leverage in many deals, and he could use said leverage to control Rafe.

The first time it ever happened, Rafe was terrified. He couldn't understand what had changed; one second he was freaking out with frustration tears flowing down his cheeks and a heat in his chest, and the next he was being shushed on the drug dealer's shoulder, soaking his shirt with sobs.

Rafe had never let himself be so weak in front of anyone before, not since that last time in kindergarten when he cried on his father's shoulder. He didn't understand what was different either, he didn't feel the switch in his brain - and if he did, he didn't understand it. All he knew was suddenly, he was encapsulated in a warm embrace much like the one he daydreamed about for many years and he had a distinct warm, calming feeling in his chest. His mind was quiet, and things were peaceful until he woke up the next morning and lost his shit again.

Things only became routine when Barry threatened him. When Barry turned him in because he was trying to be resilient against whatever mind games were being played on him, but Rafe learned his lesson. Barry was in control and he had proved that, and when he returned to the Outer Banks, Rafe came back to him like a kicked puppy with his tail between his legs.

Since that day, Barry has felt like a god; he held the remote to control Rafe Cameron, the rich and completely mentally unstable young man with a bad temper and a quick impulse to shoot a gun. Every time he visited Barry, he was freaking out. And every time he was freaking out, Barry did the same thing he did that night before he turned him in: Barry held him and let him cry into his shoulder, he whispered soft things into his ear and Rafe's mind melted away. Rafe would hug Barry tight and embrace himself in having at least one person he felt he could hold onto.

And then Barry would let him sleep in his trailer, he would share his bed and let Rafe lay with his head on his chest. Rafe didn't talk much when he felt like this, but Barry made up for it. He talked nonsense and told him stories Rafe would forget when he woke up in the morning. Rafe would never admit that he enjoyed the relaxation this weird situation brought him, but every morning after, when he was snapped out of his little daze and back into reality, he was always scared and furious. He always felt out of control of his own body and he usually had to break something to feel better.

Rafe felt the familiar fog in his chest starting to well up as he avoided Barry's gaze. He had never felt that way when Barry was angry before; he had only ever fallen into that mindset when Barry was hugging him or saying nicer things. Rafe didn't know what to make of himself, mostly because he didn't trust his mouth to say what his brain wanted it to and partly because he was afraid Barry would hurt him.

  "Are you even listening? Nah nah, don't be starting that baby shit with me, Country Club. Get the hell out of here, man!" Barry shoved Rafe away from his trailer by his chest.

Rafe stumbled, glancing at Barry with a dull and blank look of confusion and highness, but layers of sadness and guilt hid underneath. He could hear Barry shouting as he stumbled away, although he couldn't make out what he was yelling; he was far too busy watching his own far away feet to notice. He felt like he was drunk, his vision blurring and his mind not comprehending right. Rafe didn't know where to go, either. He couldn't walk back to Tannyhill from Barry's, it was much too far. And he didn't really know anybody who lived on the cut.

Rafe started thinking about the things Barry used to talk about when he felt like this. He mumbled to himself about sea animals and the beach, making up little stories as he stumbled along in a childish attempt to keep himself awake and on his feet. Sooner or later, the kook found himself walking up the driveway of the pogues' chauteu, ready to fall over his own feet or fall asleep standing up.

If Rafe was in his normal mindset, he would have never risked going to the pogues with everything going on, but with that fuzzy feeling in his chest and the cloudiness in his head, he found nothing wrong with it. It was Kiara who opened the door after he stumbled up the steps and knocked on the door. Her face dropped into a scowl once she saw him. Rafe flinched and angled his eyes down, something normal Rafe would never do.

"What the hell are you doing here, Rafe?" Kiara hissed. Rafe saw JJ come up behind her with the same scowl on his face.

"I- I didn't know where to go." Rafe stuttered, suddenly very aware of the way his words slurred and how his tone was higher than usual.

Rafe refused to watch either of their faces, but he took the silence as his response; he was not welcomed there, just as he should have assumed. The oldest started to back himself up, still refusing to make eye contact. How could he have expected anything more? After everything he'd done to them he deserved a rightful beating, too.

   "Wait," Kiara blurted just as Rafe had turned to step off the steps. Rafe hesitated to turn back around, but he did just in time to watch JJ punch her in the arm. He looked confused. Rafe didn't blame him. Rafe hated himself too.

   She too hesitated before continuing, "This isn't normal, so please inform us on what the fuck is going on."

   Rafe flinched a little. He didn't know why. He hated how out of his mind he felt. It was like he was high without the bliss, he couldn't function but instead of enjoying it he felt vulnerable and useless. And very tired. "I-"

    JJ looked fed up with his stuttering. He pushed past Kiara, despite her protests, stomping over until he reached Rafe. He then didn't hesitate to shove him with great force down the chauteua's stairs. "That's for messing with us. Now get yourself off of our side of the island."

   JJ wasn't a mean boy, but he protected what little he had and Rafe knew that. He respected it, deep down. He just never showed it and that led to actions that disrespected JJ. Rafe hated everything he'd done. He hated that he helped his father steal the gold, he hated that he stole the cross from Pope, he hated everything he ever did to hurt anyone. Rafe didn't know why he did the thing he did. He wishes he could change.

  Rafe didn't move from the dirt at the bottom of the chateau steps, shaking from his position on his hands and knees on the soggy ground. Wet earth smushed in between his fingers and made him feel real gross on top of everything else. Rafe felt his lip begin to quiver and his breathing grow rapid, and even as much as he tried to hold back the fuzzy feeling in his head, he caved. The blond boy fell forward onto his elbows in the mud, salty tears beginning to slip down his cheeks. He pressed his forehead into the mud, heaving as the floodgates opened and he was left a sobbing mess.

  Rafe just couldn't help it. He hated himself so thoroughly that he might actually do something to himself if he wasn't so afraid. He felt so lost and alone, he had nobody to go to and he didn't even understand what was going on with his body. He felt used and manipulated by everyone, he felt abandoned by his father and like a useless toy of Barry's. Still, he missed them both. As he cried in the mud Rafe wished his dad was next to him, rubbing his back and telling him, "You're a good boy, Rafe. A good boy." He wished he was in Barry's arms instead of on the ground by himself. He even wished Barry was making fun of him for being such a baby, because even negative attention would be some attention.

  Rafe was choking on his saliva and sucking in oxygen roughly and desperately when he felt two grounding hands being placed on his shoulders. He panicked initially, flinching away and diving his face into the mud even more. When the hands didn't move or hurt him any further, he subconsciously dropped his defenses and leaned into the contact. The hands pulled his upper body over and Rafe didn't resist. He still had his eyes closed when the hands placed his head on a warm lap, crying harder with the thought that he might never feel such loving gestures again - he  didn't have anyone who loved him so kindly, and he didn't even know who these hands belonged to. Rafe dropped his butt from its nearly downward dog position, flopping into the mud entirely out of pure exhaustion. He was just so, so tired. So sad and so tired.

  Rafe slowly calmed himself as he felt the mystery hands run themselves through his hair and over his neck in rhythmic motions. They were so gentle and so kind, Rafe questioned who would treat a monster like himself with so much love and care, even if it was just for a moment. As his breathing slowed and the waterworks died down, Rafe came to his senses enough to hear that whoever the hands belonged to was humming softly to him. It wasn't a tune he recognized, but that made it even more comforting.

   Shamefully, Rafe opened his eyes and lifted his red face from the lap that he had properly soaked with his tears. He felt guilty just for that. Looking up, Rafe was met with concerned eyes belonging to none other than Kiara Carrera. "Rafe? Can you hear me?"

  Rafe heard her, but he was terrified. He didn't know how to respond. Glancing over, he was met with the wide eyes of none other than JJ, John B, Pope, and his own sister. He was mortified.

  "Rafe?" Kiara, while in no way liking the other male, couldn't help but be concerned when he collapsed in a full meltdown after being pushed; Kiara had seen him function fine in far worse fights than that. Rafe didn't seem right, and although he never truly did, she knew Rafe enough to know that this was not what normal out of his mind Rafe was like. No, this was very different.

  Rafe shifted his eyes down and nodded, closing his fingers together in his lap. Kiara was just glad for some acknowledgment that he had heard her. She sighed lightly.

  "Okay, good. Can you help me understand what's going on?" Kiara asked kindly. She didn't intentionally start speaking to Rafe like he was a scared child, but when he wasn't answering her, she didn't know how else to talk to him.

   Rafe wasn't sure how to explain what he felt. He felt like he was broken and this wasn't a normal thing to feel. Without looking up, Rafe spoke quietly. "Fuzzy."

  Kiara scrunched her eyebrows together. "Fuzzy? You feel fuzzy?"

  Rafe nodded and then paused. Even quieter this time, he spoke again. "Broken."

  Without a second thought, Sarah intervened. No matter how much Rafe did to hurt her, she couldn't watch her own brother sit in the mud any longer. "Hey, Kiara? Why don't you bring him in to change."

  Kiara sent Sarah a grateful smile. John B, JJ, and Pope made no effort to help, but they separated off to the side to give the girls a clear path into the chateau. Carefully, Kiara stood herself up, extending her hands back down for Rafe to grab onto. Hesitantly, Rafe did just that, He grasped Kiara's hands clumsily, using them to support himself on wobbly legs as he stood. It took a lot of supporting from Kiara and a lot of focus from Rafe to make it up the stairs.

   Pope and John B seemed very neutral; they were neither helping not being ignorant to Rafe. JJ, on the other hand, still sent nasty glares towards him. Rafe physically flinched away from JJ on his way through the door, stumbling into Kiara and almost making them both fall.

  "It's okay," Kiara spoke kindly. "he just doesn't understand that sometimes people aren't what they seem."

  Rafe had merely nodded, but her words meant a lot. He wanted to hug her, but he didn't think she would like it and he didn't want to make her muddier.

Sarah led them both into what Rafe assumed was John B's bedroom. Most of the items in there seemed like they would belong to him and some of Sarah's stuff mixed in with it. Sarah passed Rafe a towel, which he held in his right hand while he shivered. The blond girl then went from drawer to drawer in the dressers, pulling out some shorts and a shirt she thought would fit her skinnier older brother. He was much lankier than John B, but she figured it would just have to do.

"Here you go," Sarah passed Rafe the clothing. "the bathroom is the next room to the right, you're welcome to clean up in there if you would like."

Once again, Rafe adverted his eyes back down to the ground with a slight nod. He then shuffled slowly out of the room and the girls waited until they heard the bathroom door click to move or do anything.

Kiara turned to Sarah. "Have you ever seen him like that before? I mean I know he tried to drown you and all, but something really seems to be up there. "

Sarah nodded. "No, I completely agree. Something's up, and if we want to be even average human beings and try to sort things out, the boys have to be on board."

"Let me handle them." Kiara made a finger gesture to the kitchen.

Sarah smiled fondly and copied her gesture, directing hers towards the bathroom. "And I'll check up on him."

Sarah approached the bathroom door, gently pressing her ear against it for any signs of her older brother still getting himself cleaned up. She was met with silence. Drawing her eyebrows together, she knocked lightly and spoke up. "Hey, Rafe? Are you okay in there?"

On the other side of the door, silent tears slipped down the dirty blond boy's face as he struggled to unbutton his khaki pants. He knew how to unbutton them, he did it every day! So why couldn't he do it now? Rafe let out a frustrated whine as he yanked on the pants to no avail.

Sarah heard the small whine, knocking on the door again. "Rafe, are you okay? Do you need help?"

Rafe sniffled loudly and nodded his head, despite knowing his sister couldn't see him. "Help."

Sarah opened the bathroom door as soon as she heard his small voice, nearly melting at the sight of her older brother clad in just his ruined khakis and his socks with tear tracks down his cheeks and a pout evident on his face. She wasn't sure where this soft spot had came from, but she was pretty sure this is how she remembered Rafe before their father created a drift between them. It strangely made her happy to remember him this way. "Oh, Rafe."

Sarah watched his bottom lip quiver as he adverted his eyes to the ground. "It's okay, buddy. I can help you."

And she did just that, quickly unbuckling his pants for him and allowing him to do the rest. She gave him as much privacy as she could, turning around to grab the new pair of shorts for him, only needing to help him further with buckling those properly. John B's surf shirt somehow managed to still be a bit short on Rafe but also hugely baggy around his shoulders. Sarah giggled about it to herself, finding it funny how two boys of the same height could vary so much.

Rafe was getting very, very tired. At this time of night when he felt this way, he would normally be reading bedtime stories in Barry's camper, all curled up into his side. He let out a yawn. Sarah led Rafe back to the main area of the chateau, where the rest of the pogues were spread out along the floor or the couches. Rafe shuffled his feet as he watched all of their eyes shift to him, feeling guilty and insecure with himself all over again. Kiara elbowed John B, and he awkwardly spoke up. "You can sit over here if you want to."

Rafe looked to Sarah, seemingly asking her to confirm he was being genuine. She smiled and nodded, ushering him forward to sit on John B's right. Sarah took her seat on the couch on the other side of her brother, with Kiara by her feet. JJ and Pope were sat on the other side of John B. Lamps illuminated the space and allowed for a golden glow, the TV quietly playing the news in the background. JJ and Pope were talking amongst themselves about something Rafe couldn't bring himself to find interest in, and Sarah and Kiara did the same. John B was kicked back in his seat with his feet propped up on the coffee table and his arms folded behind his head. His eyes were closed and Rafe studied his face. He thought he looked pretty funny.

Hesitantly but curiously, with a childish hue clouding his brain, Rafe lifted up his fingers and touched John B on his nose. When the other boy's eyes opened in confusion, Rafe leaned back and erupted in a fit of giggles. Despite his better judgment, John B felt himself smiling, too.

"What, is that funny?"John B asked Rafe, a chuckle of his own escaping his lips.

Rafe smiled proudly and nodded. "Funny."

Pausing to watch Rafe for a second, John B could've sworn he had seen these very same mannerisms before. The same giggles and simple happiness that shone through Rafe's eyes; John B knew he had seen them through someone else's, he just couldn't figure out who's. Then, it hit him.

"Hey, JJ?" John B shifted his attention to his blond best friend. Rafe still watched John B intently, like a bored small child.

"What's up, B?" JJ replied, shifting his baby blue eyes from Pope to John B.

John B sighed, "Do you remember that time your cousin was being manipulated by his old dealer? Years ago, before he started his own operation?"

JJ immediately nodded. "Yeah, the dude like, controlled his head. He could shift his headspaces pretty much with a snap of his fingers. It was fucked."

John B raised his eyebrows and looked over at Sarah and Kiara, who seemed to be brought to attention like John B himself was. "Are you guys thinking what I'm thinking?"

Sarah nodded slightly. "He does buy from that Barry douche. But JJ, how did your cousin act? Rafe seems to be acting like he did when we were younger, as far as I can remember, anyway. "

"Yeah, my cousin did too. It was just like he was a little kid again, and he couldn't come out of it willingly. I don't remember how he got over it, but maybe he never did." JJ put the pieces together in his head, too. It made sense; most of the dealers on this island were all the same, with the same mind games and tricks that they would use to both protect their operations and keep them running. Since Rafe was undeniably hooked on cocaine, it seemed almost certain that what side of him they were seeing was triggered by Barry.

As the others continued to chime in around him, Rafe grew very tired of having no attention. He was trying to be patient, he really was! But it was hard; he was tired and bored and starting to get hungry. Rafe brought his legs up in a crisscross on the couch, shifting around to face his younger sister. Gently, he tugged on her hoodie sleeve and started to fiddle with it between his fingers. Sarah smiled at him, bringing her other hand up to his hair. She rubbed gentle circles in his short hair, and he relished in the feeling by leaning into her touch.

"Well," JJ spoke up. "I would say we have our best bet on what happened, and the only thing left for us to do is keep him comfortable."

"What do you think, brother? You want to crash here for the night?" Sarah asked Rafe, ruffling her hair.

Rafe smiled brightly and nodded with enthusiasm. "Food?"

Kiara giggled. "Yes buddy, we can find some food."

[janetbrown711]

How do you torment your favs (aka how have you traumatized some of your favourite characters)?

Well, if we're talking broadly here I mostly give them mommy issues, but lets go character by character here for the nitty gritty/true pattern examination

TW for mentions of miscarriages, abusive parents, and just a lot of trauma

Apple White-- Mommy issues, internalized homophobia that she does mostly get over but it doesn't help when a lot of the world is homophobic to her, body image issues, and a possible eating disorder

Darling Charming-- mommy issues, daddy issues, experiences a lot of homophobia and misogyny

Louie Duck-- Just. Just the worst mommy issues. Wants Della to love him so bad but feels like it's literally impossible because of their differences and his "glaring" flaws and selfishness

Yakko, Wakko, and Dot (Long Live the Queen) (idk how to write normal universe whoopsies)-- Abusive grandmother who actively tries to (and nearly accomplishes) murdering their parents making their parents have to abandon them for a year, Yakko has parentification trauma from that, Wakko gets literally starved and locked in a tower on multiple occassions, and Dot feels like it's all her fault whenever Wakko gets hurt because she's supposed to be the perfect princess. It gets fixed but it do be a lot

Lena Warner (my oc from Long Live the Queen)-- Abusive mother who literally attempted to kill her. Wants very badly to be a proper mother to her children and keep them safe, but her mother has far too much control and power over her for that to be truly possible. Had a runaway marriage in her late teens in order to avoid being married off to some old guy. Her mother's murder attempt caused a miscarriage and robbed her of a year with her children while she had to physically recover from her injuries. Ended up killing her in the end though, so that's good.

MK (dadsy of two)-- dead parents that were incredibly abusive (especially his "mother"), a burning desire for closeness to his guardian that he feels he can't access out of fear of attachment + Pigsy's own distant behavior at unpredictable moments. Desperately wants Pigsy to be his dad and nothing hurts more than when Pigsy actively denies it. Craves affection and praise more than anything in the whole wide world but doesn't know how to accept it/how to react when it happens.

Mei (dadsy of two)-- dead parents who gave her severe perfectionism but died before they could ever apologize/acknowledge/realize any damage done. Blames herself for starting the fire because she knocked over an ancestral artifact (that fire was actually fixed, the fire that killed them is unrelated but she'll never believe that). Wants to be the perfect daughter for Pigsy while also not feeling like she's actually his daughter because of the distance + complicated grief related feelings.

Pigsy (dadsy of two)-- tbh what haven't I done to him? Gave him guilt over the death of Sandy's ex fiancee due to "causing" Sandy's trauma that lead to the incident, gave him mommy and even worse daddy issues, deals with fantasy racism on such a regular basis he believes being distant with MK and Mei (ala saying he isn't their father/he's only their legal guardian) is the only way to really protect them from it (and even that backfires on more than one occasion). Internalized fatphobia. PTSD. Smoker. Severe lack of self esteem. Couldn't give less of a shit about himself and his own health (ESPECIALLY mental) while worrying endlessly about everyone else. Just. just so much trauma for one man. what the fuck.

Tang (all fanfics)-- Abusive, severely homophobic parents who cut him off when he was 19 due to finding out about his homosexuality. Could barely afford food for a year until he met Pigsy and basically relied on his charity in order to not starve to death/suffer the effects of severe malnutrition and still continue his education. Loves Pigsy endlessly and hates watching him torture himself over the littlest things (knows he does the same and feels so helpless every time it happens). Wants to be a dad to MK (and Mei) desperately but worries he's nothing compared to Pigsy. Has constantly had his passions belittled and mocked to the point it's genuinely surprising to him that MK actually likes his stories and the way he does things.

Sandy (all fanfics)-- PTSD, guilt over having missed 20+ years of his best friend's life. In Dadsy of Two he killed his fiancee after a nightmare about the war he and Pigsy had fought. Wanted to be a parent but after that accident, he can't trust himself with another human life like that. Has a hard time trying not to be "the therapist friend" and poking where he shouldn't when it comes to his friend's emotional issues (especially Pigsy's). Had just the worst toxic romance with Pigsy ever that was just the hottest of messes before it all fell apart but they tried to be friends (until his fiance's death) (the time away was very much needed for them both to heal and grow so they could actually be good friends again but it still hurts it took that long).

Pigsy (Li Na AU)-- most of the above but even more trauma around fatherhood, only made worse by the fact he had five miscarriages in the past (only three Tang knows about). Buries that pain instead of talking about it and believes that because Li Na is alive and well the pain is gone (it's not. it lives within him in every waking moment and is why he's so fucking terrified at the thought of losing her or MK).

....So yeah! Just--.... Just so much man, damn wtf someone needs to take them away from me I keep hurting them, wtf---

[shiroandblack]

[TW: abuse, suicide, incest, matricide, pyrophobia, underage sex, Freudian mother-son relationships, mental illness, SA]

PART II OF MY VAMPIRE FICTION PHASE: DIABOLIK LOVERS

I seperated it because this guy *slaps like Apollo slapped Patroclus* deserves their own post. Also, despite the dark romance/felony of it all the soundtrack absolutely slaps especially 'Gin no Bara'.

So basically priest's daughter gets trapped as a blood bank to 6 vampire brothers who are the sons of the vampire king who is fantastically creepy and yet never around except when he's pretending to be the school doctor, but you just know he's fucking shit up. Damn it, Karlheinz.

So these 6 guys, they all have issues. MASSIVE, MAJOR ISSUES. I mean, if you think Madara from Naruto has issues? These guys absolutely win.

Let's start in order of whoever I can remember most.

1. Shū

Ah yes, Shū the eldest brother. I will say that if I had to choose who I'm stuck in an elevator with out of any of these people, I would probably pick Shū. Shū is basically the eldest child and he is the son of Beatrix, Karlheinz's second wife. Did I mention that vampire king daddy had three wives at the same time? No, well it's gonna be pretty relevant later. So Beatrix was the typical high expectation mom, she constantly told Shū that he was the heir and told him to behave appropriately. Think Alicent and Aegon from House of the Dragon, but Beatrix was much more severe with Shū who for all intents and purposes, was just a kid who wanted to play around with other kids, instead of banging servants. Anyways, due to Trauma™ involving his best friend dying in a fire (started by his younger brother, but we'll get to that) he's pretty apathetic towards everything and everyone. But when he does care, he will indeed pull you out of a burning building despite his immense pyrophobia. I don't know how, but out of all of them I'd say Shū is the most well adjusted individual but then again, the bar is in hell. Also, fun fact, this guy once got a part-time job as a cashier which I find absolutely hilarious.

2. Reiji

He shares a mother with Shū, Beatrix. Basically while Beatrix was busy trying to get Shū to do whatever the hell an heir is supposed to do, Reiji was pretty much ignored. However, in the game Beatrix catches Reiji studying and was like "good job" genuinely complimenting him, but then Reiji was like "you're bothering me". So I don't know man. The anime made him more sadistic and psycho in terms of personality which I don't think was really needed cause he's plenty psycho already. He seems to be the most well adjusted, but keyword being seems. So because he was ignored by his mom, he pretty much tried to get Shū's attention but like most older siblings, Shū thought hanging out with his younger brother was uncool and so what does Reiji does? This vampire youngling sets a whole ass human village on fire, coincidentally Edgar is in that village. Reiji thought "great, now that Edgar is out of the way Shū will acknowledge me!" but no. Instead Shū just becomes apathetic and a shell of a person. To those of you who've read/watched Twilight, this feels very Aro and Marcus but unlike Aro who is genuinely worried that Marcus might off himself, Reiji just feels bitter and angry that now his elder brother is ignoring him even more. But that's not the cake, oh no, the cake is that Reiji killed his mother. I mean technically he hired a vampire hunter to do it (said vampire hunter being Yui's adoptive dad. You know, the priest who threw her to the wolves. Literally), but as she was killed because Cordelia (one of Karlheinz's wives) was making her so miserable with life Beatrix died with a smile and she was also proud because Reiji killed her because to vampires, part of being considered an adult is committing homicide. And this pisses off Reiji so much, cause he wanted his mom to beg him to spare her life out of some twisted desire of revenge and when that didn't end up happening. Well, Reiji is motherless and bitter now. The anime really did him dirty, because in the anime they made him super duper serious and just very stiff and constantly degrading Yui for just breathing basically. Whereas in the game, he's a lot more chill than he seems and while he casually insults Yui, he casually insults everyone and I have to say his insults are good. Also in the game, he actually smiles so much more but it's a very condescending and bitter smile it's the smile of someone laughing at the world for how screwed up it is. I will say that he does casually poison Yui several times to test out his poisons, but he always gives her the antidote when she starts exhibiting symptoms.

3. Ayato

Ayato is basically Gojo if Gojo had no human conscience. He acts childish because his mother Cordelia was basically the same way Beatrix was to Shū. Cordelia, however, tried to drown him because pookie couldn't like solve a math equation or some shit. The bar is in hell, but Cordelia is by far the most horrible out of the three mothers. Anyways, he's pretty much a man-child with a propensity for being an ass. He sleeps in an iron maiden (with spikes removed) because despite beds being a thing in their mansion, dude just likes it and he does try to shove Yui into an iron maiden (without the spikes removed) but Yui was not having it. I wouldn't want to be stuck in an elevator with this dude cause he would eat me and make me suffer while he's at it.

4. Laito

Unlucky number four and I have to say out of all the brothers, he is my least favourite. The reason? Well it's simple, he commits SA just by breathing. Also, he's the one to nickname Yui 'Bitch-chan'. Listen, I get that he was sexually abused by his mother and Cordelia did her absolute best to instill sex = love even if that sex is non consensual. But honestly? I don't get the point of his character. What was the point of Rejet making a character like him? Because he is just plain sexually abusive. If it was to show how the abused can become the abuser, there are much more nuanced ways to do it than have Laito SA Yui every five seconds or something. Also, if we're talking about "the abused becomes the abuser" all these characters are already stunning examples please save Yui.

5. Kanato

To anyone into HOTD, think Larys Strong but with a teddy bear and his childlike. Kanato seems the easiest to bear with cause of his childlike attitude. That is until his temper completely flips and the next thing you know, he's threatening to murder you and would actually go through it. Kanato had a very fucked up childhood of his mother making him sing her songs while she's out here banging her brother-in-law because Kanato singing apparently gets her into the mood. Kanato likes to collect dead corpses and stuff them like animals which is why there's an entire hall filled with all the sacrificial brides before Yui. He says he can't wait to add Yui to the collection.

6. Subaru

Now Subaru, Subaru is sadistic as all his brothers are and ill-tempered. This man be punching walls and tables and breaking everything. But he doesn't really raise a hand to Yui at all. I'd say other than his shitty temper and blatant sadism, he is moderately bearable. Why? Well he's got self-worth issues you see. His mother was seduced by her older cousin (his father) and when Krysta realised that Karlheinz didn't love her, she went crazy because he basically convinced her to commit incest which is apparently a no no in the vampire world. Krysta thought of Subaru as an abomination and treated him like crap, but she then would oscillate between thinking him an abomination and her a sinner and feeling guilty for hurting him. Subaru looked after his mother instead of the other way around.

Anyways, this is my long overdue rant of fucked up vampire anime.

[spongek-squidge]

Penny’s 2 heart event sure is a controversial one (the one where she pushed George’s wheelchair without permission) so I’m going to throw my opinion on it out there cause why not

TW! mention of bad upbringings, implication of child ab*se, mention of negative self thinking, Y’know, Penny and Pam stuff

In case you’ve forgotten this heart event sees Penny try to help out George when he struggles to get his Mail from the back of the mailbox, which you know is lovely, nice neighbourly assistance. However, she didn’t ask whether or not he needed help (doing so being good manners) and also pushed his wheelchair without permission with him in it (that’s a no-no and is as disrespectful as pushing someone without a wheelchair (except George is less likely to fall as a result)). Now, this is a problem with the Stardew community as it shows a lack of knowledge and compassion with wheelchair users. However the biggest issue people have with it is if you explain that what Penny did isn’t okay to Penny you lose friendship with her.

Now this seems really out of place, especially when you consider that if you agree Penny did the right thing George then apologises to Penny! Not the way round that should be done.

Before I continue I want to make it clear that this mistake doesn’t inherently make Penny a bad person, but this is my take on why her losing friendship points is a good story telling aspect for the character (in my opinion)

Please finish reading before responding pls don’t pull a Twitter I swear it’s justified-

Starting off with why penny would do this to grumpy old man George, it kinda makes sense, like George is the kind of guy to reject all help if offered to him, man’s got a tonne of bottled up toxic masculinity. However, this still doesn’t justify it, it’s just an explanation as to why Penny didn’t bother asking, she’s lived next to that man for a long time she knows how he is.

So she goes and tries to help George and pushes in wheelchair around without permission, which is still a no-no. However when you tell her it’s a no-no you lose friendship points with her? What the hell Penny, we’re trying to help you out her girl!

But here’s why I think she would lose friendship points and it’s very in character

Pam

Pam is the only parent in Penny’s life and has been for a long time (god knows where the baby daddy is) so it makes sense for Penny to not understand the etiquette around wheelchair users and people with other physical disabilities, doesn’t it? I mean, she learnt is from Pam, and Pam isn’t really a beacon of good morals is she?

It’s the same logic behind internalised homophobia, you grow up around people who are homophobic so even if you are gay or do your best to be inclusive it takes more then someone who didn’t grow up around the same levels of homophobia. Penny grew up around someone who wouldn’t bother educating her about people who are different due to physical disabilities etc

Penny is open minded, she’d never discriminate, but she was never taught the etiquette surrounding things like wheelchairs and how to respect wheelchair users

But why does she lose friendship with us when we try to teach her the etiquette?

I have an idea

Because it makes her think, somewhere deep in her bones, that she’s just going to become her mother. That no matter how much she tries to be open minded and be everything her mother isn’t she’s still failing and nothing can change that

This isn’t true of course but Penny didn’t have the best upbringing and Pam has been seen to insult her when she gets mad, so Penny definitely has low self esteem and would think in this manner.

But that’s just a theory, a game theory!

But seriously, it does make sense when you think too much about it (which I have)

[mermaidsirennikita]

I read your review of Earls Trip and was wondering if you had any other recs please where the heroine is not a virgin but has not had good sex? Thanks!

For suuuuure!

Contemporary:

The Next Best Fling by Gabriella Gamez isn't out until July but I'd highly recommend a pre-order because the heroine has never been given what she needs in the bedroom. Fortunately, the brother of the guy she thinks she's in love with DELIVERS.

Act Your Age by Eve Dangerfield. The heroine hasn't had the worst sex ever in the past, but she's very unfulfilled because she feels like she can't really indulge her kink (daddy stuff specifically) due to a fear of rejection? So it's a next level thing when she hooks up with the hero, who's totally compatible with her on that level. (It matters!!!)

Historical:

lmao like most widow books tbh

Scandalous Desires by Elizabeth Hoyt. Silence's sexual relationship with her husband was mid to poor and she doesn't even know what getting eaten out is until she gets turned out by a slutty pirate (as one does).

Joss and The Countess by S.M. LaViolette. Like, the big thing in this book is that all of Alicia's encounters in her marriages were either mid or awful (TW for past abuse) and after her second husband dies she starts trolling London for a good lay. With her bodyguard, Joss--who is actually a former sex worker and the D E F I N I T I O N of a great lay. And he knows that she what she actually needs is some rough attention, as they'd say, so he basically gets fed up one night and is like "THIS IS RIDICULOUS I'M TAKING OVER". I actually really liked that a lot of the issue was indeed Alicia sleeping with shitty men, but another part of the issue (because I believe her first husband was nice) is that she just... wasn't compatible with people who weren't going to rough her up. Someone being nice isn't enough for the sex to be good, y'all do need to be sexually compatible, 'tis a fact of life.

A Lady Awakened by Cecilia Grant. The heroine's sex life with her husband was so mid (both because he was boring at best and because of her own hangups) that she just lays there like a corpse after telling the hero to knock her up for plot reasons. It takes a while for her to actually engage and learn how to enjoy it.

The Duchess in His Bed by Lorraine Heath. Another one where the heroine is trying to get a dude to knock her up after her husband dies for heir reasons! The husband in this case really wasn't bad, but the fires, they were not a-lightin'. And then she ends up tangling with an incredibly slutty Trewlove hero, always a good move.

Waking Up with the Duke by Lorraine Heath. Jayne's sex life with her husband before he became impotent doesn't sound baaaaad per se, but definitely not exciting and NOTHING close to what she experiences with Ainsley. Also, I wanna call out that it is actually really shitty that her husband didn't even try to be romantic with her after the accident that rendered him impotent. Like yeah, your sex life may not be the SAME after that, but it can EXIST, and while what happened to him was horrible, closing the door on a romantic relationship with a spouse who loved him and couldn't leave was just such an asshole move. (CLIFFORD CHATTERLEY.)

The Many Sins of Lord Cameron by Jennifer Ashley. Lmao actually the heroine is named Ainsley in this one. Anyway, I think her sexual encounters were mid at best, she's a widow, she had this one incredibly charged makeout with Cameron while her husband was alive but it didn't go any further... And now she's getting, shall we say, wrung the fuck out.

For My Lady's Heart by Laura Kinsale. Melanthe is in general one of those ice queen heroines where you get the sense that she thinks it's kinda not possible for her to super connect with someone in that way...? Her husband was actually very kind and she did love him, but it wasn't a romantic love situation--almost more daughterly, which is uh, messed up, as he did get her pregnant once so there was a sexual relationship. Yikes! Anyway, her deal with Ruck is much softer and sweeter and what she deserves.

Pippa and The Prince of Secrets by Grace Callaway. FUCK DUDE THIS SHIT. The heroine's husband wooed her and then totally fucked it up during the marriage, such a tool. And so much of this book is about her discovering herself emotionally and sexually with the hero, who was her first kiss when they were kids and is now scarred and ashamed of himself but also deeply capable of throwing it the fuck down. I need to reread this. God.

The Viper and The Recruit by Monica McCarty both star widowed heroines whose husbands frankly were dicks, and they both end up with men (in The Viper he's a grouchy asshole who hates women because of his mean wife which is difficult to sell but it works here, and in The Recruit he's a Hapless Slut who really bit off more than he could chew lol) who actually fuck ridiculous, very happy for them.

The Raven Prince by Elizabeth Hoyt has a widow whose husband actually, I think, got another lady pregnant while he was married to her. Nice! Anyway, she's fully unaware of what good sex is but she does know sex and desire and stuff, which is why it is extra difficult when she starts developing a lust for her ugly (HIDEOUS! HE HAS POCKMARKS!) boss.

Any Duchess Will Do by Tessa Dare has a normal, unwidowed shopgirl heroine who is pretty blunt with the hero about being experienced, but it's all been pretty mid.

Duke of Sin by Elizabeth Hoyt has a non-virgin heroine who like... they don't get into it, but I definitely got the sense that she'd only had mid sex. It's honestly very funny because after they fuck for the first time he's like (and he is CRAZY) "huh. you weren't a virgin I guess" and she's like "is that an issue...?" and he's all "oh no I mean if it was non-consensual I'll just have to go kill the dude but if it was consensual I guess I was just surprised anyway on to my evil schemes"

The Perfect Crimes of Marian Hayes by Cat Sebastian is a perfect example. Widowed heroine (who becomes a widow.... very interestingly) whose relationship with her husband was AWFUL. What's cool about her sex life with the hero is that she's basically like "I don't like penetrative sex and I can't get pregnant again ever because I cannot stand it", and he's like "ok cool then" and they have sex in other ways. It's great.

Heartbreaker by Sarah MacLean. I believe Adelaide has had sex before but mentions it being mid, and the Duke of Clayborn's ability to satisfy her praise kink is a game changer lol

The Marquess Makes His Move by Diana Quincy. The heroine is actually married when she meets the hero, and her husband is this shitty motherfucker who has her make these maps, and then HE takes credit for the maps. Anyway, the sex is understandably bleh. THANK GOD FOR THE HERO WHO'S DISGUISED AS A FOOTMAN TO TAKE HIS REVENGE ON HER HUSBAND.

Between the Devil and Desire by Lorraine Heath. Olivia's relationship with her husband wasn't abusive, but it was distant and the sex was basically there to produce an heir and didn't happen after she did. So her entire relationship with Jack Dodger is her suddenly discovering what being horny is like. Which happens immediately after she meets him, much to her chagrin. Like I can't get over how the opening pages in her POV are like "FUCK. SHIT. FUCK." looking at him. She's all "this BEASTLY man" while squirming in her chair

Then Came You by Lisa Kleypas has Lily, who was seduced by this charlatan type. But it was not all he made it out to be, sexually speaking. Enter Alex, with whom she has a SIZZLING tension even though they totally hate each other for sure! This book is what people thought Kanthony was, I'm gonna be real real.

A Scot in the Dark by Sarah MacLean. The heroine is not a widow, but she slept with an artist who again is not all he said he was, which does lead to her having to steal back a nude painting he did of her with the help of her guardian, a Big Scottish Man.

[sassy-ahsoka-tano]

DADDY ISSUES - Part Four: Vegas

Character/Fandom: Elvis - Elvis (2022)

Prompt: Your new life is amazing, without Elvis. Well, at least until you get a mysterious package in the mail that's about to change your life. [ Fem!Reader ]

TW: a friend fight with some harsh words that were painful to write but i don't think anything else!

Rating: Pg-13 || Word Count: 5058

A/N: ahhh it's been AGES i know but i've been working hard so expect lots of updates!! i have several parts already queued. i'll be posting a chapter every tuesday + thursday until the fic is completed!

also just a reminder that there's a playlist if you're interested and i've put the link to the taglist below!

Song Rec: vegas - doja cat

This is Part 4 of Daddy Issues. Find the rest of the series here!

[ masterlist | taglist ]

🦋 mila

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

A year later, you find yourself living in a brand new apartment with Trixie, the girl whom you stood next to during the chaotic filming of the 68 Comeback Special. Apparently, her family is extremely well-off and has absolutely no issue sending her money without question. Although you’ve tried to assure Trixie about a thousand times that you don’t want nor need the money she continues to shovel into your pocket, she insists on supporting you. At first, it was easier to give in because you actually really did need the money, since you were unemployed with no prospects and a scant resume. But now, you’re just starting to feel selfish.

Fortunately, with Steve’s help you’ve managed to secure a job working at KNBC, California’s NBC television station. You might still just be a secretarial worker, but a job is a job. Surprisingly, you find yourself with an unprecedented amount of free time compared to what you had when you were constantly picking up night and weekend shifts every other week at the diner. Not to mention that you make a lot more, too. It’s nothing to brag about by any means, but far more than enough to get you back on your feet. Slowly but surely, your debts dwindle little by little every day.

So far, living with Trixie has been pure bliss. She’s incredibly sweet and very neat and tidy. She doesn’t leave her laundry on the floor, always takes the trash out, and is usually cheerful in the morning. Some days, she even meets you in the kitchen with a carafe of steaming hot coffee already brewed. She never brings home creepy guys who hang around past their welcome and she’s nothing but respectful of your space. She works similar hours to you as a designer at a fashion magazine conveniently located only a couple of blocks down the road from KNBC.

You honestly couldn’t have asked for a better situation and, for the first time in a very long time, you feel safe, happy, and healthy. Little do you know what’s to come when a surprise package shows up on your doorstep.

You’re in the bathroom, elbows deep in water and soap as you wash your face first thing in the morning. Trixie, the early morning bird she is, has been awake for several hours already and is in the kitchen making breakfast. With the bathroom door closed, you can hardly hear anything going on down the hall so it takes you a moment to process Trixie’s shout that you’ve received a delivery. Squinting your eyes to protect them from the soap sliding down your face, you turn toward the door and yell back.

“Who’s it from?”

A few seconds of silence pass before Trixie replies.

“Uh…Y/N, why are you getting a package from E…ley?”

You shake your head. You can barely hear her over the sound of the water and the closed door. Your fingers quickly scramble to turn off the faucet and you grasp for a towel to hurriedly dry your face before rushing out of the bathroom. Sticking your head around the corner, you glance at Trixie with furrowed eyebrows.

“What did you say?” you ask.

“The package,” she responds, holding it up, “it’s from Elvis Presley.”

“I…from who?”

“Can you hear me, honey? Elvis. Elvis Presley? Famous musician and actor? We're both huge fans? We were in the audience while he filmed his comeback special on NBC? Ringing any bells here?” Trixie gestures wildly, her eyes big and wide.

You shake your head and approach her, holding out your hands so she can pass the package along to you. As soon as it touches your fingers, you snatch it up and sit down on the couch in the living room. Sure enough, as you look at the address label on the package, there it is. Elvis Presley.

To be perfectly honest, you’ve all but forgotten about him. With everything going on in your life, you’ve been too busy to pay attention to celebrity gossip or keep track of the music charts. You also have to admit that you might have been more inclined to forget him after suffering the embarrassment of turning down his…offer.

Glancing up at Trixie, you see her biting the nail of her thumb anxiously, a big grin breaking through her face. You shake your head again and sigh a deep breath before your fingers start digging into the wrapping of the package. Once you’ve torn through the wrapping paper and flipped open the cardboard box, your fingers catch onto something soft and silky. Shooting a confused expression at Trixie, you pull out the object and stand to let it unfold. Your breath catches in your throat as it drops down into its full form. Trixie shares the expression, her gasp accompanying yours.

“Oh my god…” she says in awe.

You hold it up to your body and wander over to the floor-length mirror hanging in the entryway. As you press the fabric against your figure, your eyebrows raise. It’s almost the same blue color as your horrible dress from Chadney’s Restaurant, the one you’d been wearing when you officially met Elvis for the first time. Although the color is comparable, the quality is nowhere near the same. This dress is made of silk, softer than any fabric you’ve ever felt before, and definitely a major upgrade from the scratchy cotton of your old work uniform. The dress has a sweetheart neckline with a cut out of the side and a leg slit that rides higher than you’d normally be comfortable with. As you run your fingers over the seams, you feel a few hand-cut jewels. They look like diamonds, although your brain is incapable of believing that.

“Hey, there’s a note with it,” Trixie’s voice knocks you out of your disbelief and you turn toward her.

She hands it over to you and, as you unfold it, two long green strips of paper fall out. Trixie bends to pick them up and examines them as you read the handwritten script of the letter out loud, although the handwriting is atrociously difficult to decipher.

“Cinderella,” you pause and gulp as your brain flashes back to the moment when Elvis had first called you that. When he’d invited you into his dressing room after the special. When he’d pulled your panties from his robe pocket…

“Cinderella,” you clear your throat and continue, “I figured I oughta replace that blue dress you ruined on account of me. I hope you like this one better and that you find the rest of the contents of this package to your taste.”

You pause, your eyes wandering over toward the package which, apparently, has more to give. You reach for it, digging underneath the wrapping paper until your fingers curl onto something lacy. You pull it out and heat immediately floods your face and neck. Trixie’s hand flies onto her mouth as you both stare in silence at an expensive-looking lingerie set hanging from your fingertip. You immediately drop it back into the package and shiver.

“What does the rest of the letter say?” Trixie asks, leaning forward to glance at the note over your shoulder.

“Uh…replace that blue dress, blah, blah, blah…contents of this package…Don’t make me wait until midnight. And don’t forget who-”

You stop abruptly as your brain circles around the last few words of the letter.

“What?” Trixie asks, peering more intensely over your shoulder. “What does it say, Foxie? I can barely read his chicken scratch.”

Foxie is the nickname Trixie had started calling you. Until this point, you’ve never understood why. But as your eyes roam over the contents of the package Elvis sent you, you start to understand that maybe you’re more of a fox than you realized.

“Don’t forget who owns you, princess.”

Trixie’s mouth pops open and she stares at you with wide eyes. You collapse further onto the couch and cover your eyes with your palms. Your heart pounds in your chest as you run through everything you just discovered.

“Wait, I’m sorry…did I miss something?” Trixie asks. “What the hell is all of this, Y/N?”

“It’s nothing,” you reply a little too quickly. “It must be some kind of a joke or something. I don’t know.”

“Some joke! Some expensive joke. These fell out of the letter,” she says, handing over the two green strips of paper.

Your eyes widen as you scan the printed text on the paper. Two tickets to one of Elvis’ concerts at the International Hotel in Las Vegas, Nevada. You run a hand over your face and toss the tickets back into the cardboard box they came in. With a building rage, you grab onto the other contents of the package and shove them back in, tucking the wrapping paper back over them like a blanket.

“No, no this is insane. I don’t know what kind of sick joke this is. But no,” you mutter to yourself.

“Y/N, honey…I really don’t think this is a joke. I mean, two front row tickets to an Elvis Presley concert in Las Vegas? Do you know how expensive these are? Who would blow that much money just to get a laugh? I can’t even think of anyone else you know and I certainly didn’t pull this stunt.”

“Look, I don’t know, but I can’t believe that…well, he wouldn’t have any reason to send this to me. I mean, I told him no the last time he offered, so he should-”

“What? What do you mean you ‘told him no?’ Y/N what is going on here that I don’t know about? I’m completely lost.”

Shit. You slipped.

“Oh, no. It’s nothing,” you stutter, waving your hands frantically. “It was…nothing.”

“Well, it was obviously something?” Trixie gestures to the package. You sigh and she places a hand on your shoulder. “Foxie, I’m your best friend in the world. You can tell me anything.”

Your gaze drops down to her brightly painted purple nails and you heave a deep breath before lifting your gaze to hers. Her eyebrows are furrowed in concern and you know that she genuinely does care about your well-being.

“You’re technically my only friend in the world, Trix. But yes, I guess something did happen that I never told you about.”

“Well, what is honey? Now, I really have to know,” she gestures to the package again and you chuckle.

“Well, to start off, the 68 special wasn’t the first time I saw Elvis. I saw him in 1956 at Russwood Park, too.”

“Right. I remember. We’ve talked about it plenty of times. What does that concert have to do with this?”

“Well, I maybe…kind of, sort of…did an embarrassing thing.”

“Like…what?” she quirks an eyebrow and you squeeze your eyes shut to counter the embarrassment you feel rising in your chest.

“I slid my underwear across the stage at that concert,” you blurt, wincing at the memory of your own actions. “And apparently I made an impression because he, Elvis I mean, sent his producer to bring me to the dressing room after we filmed the special. It was several hours after, so you were probably long gone by then. I was staying with my cousin, Steve, you remember him. Anyway, so I wound up in Elvis’ dressing room and it was just the two of us and he just…he just pulled my panties out of his pocket! The ones I’d given him, you know, years and years ago. I mean, I never in my wildest dreams would have expected…do you think he washed them? I mean, ew!”

“Calm, Foxie! Calm and focus. Slow words.”

“Right, sorry,” you laugh painfully and gulp before continuing. “Uh, after he pulled my panties out he sort of asked me if I…like, if I wanted to be his…sugar baby?”

Trixie’s eyes close and reopen wider and she leans forward as if she hasn’t heard you correctly. She blinks in shock.

“Well, what did you say? Did you tell him no?”

“Yeah, I said it was wrong. That I’m not the kind of person who sleeps with married men. Apparently, he didn’t take the hint because…” you gesture again to the infamous package.

“Yeah, I’d say not. What did he offer you? That’s how it works, right? You take care of him and he does something for you?”

“He offered to pay my debts and buy me gifts and stuff. The usual things, I imagine?”

“And he hasn’t contacted you since then until now?”

“Not one time.”

A few moments of silence pass. Trixie settles back into the couch, tapping her finger on her leg, obviously deep in thought. Your eyes just lazily drag around the scattered contents of the package as you contemplate what to do.

“Maybe…” Trixie starts, “you should go see what he wants?”

Your head snaps toward her.

“What?”

“I don’t know, maybe…maybe he has a different offer for you. Or maybe you can finagle your way into an even better arrangement.”

You throw your hands up, motioning for her to stop.

“Trixie, what are you talking about? I can’t do this. It’s wrong.”

“Yeah, I know, but you could use the extra cash and, after all, it is Elvis Presley.”

You just stare at her for a moment, your eyes flicking around her face to see whether she’s joking. Based on what you gather from her expression, she’s being completely serious. You scoff and stand up, grabbing harshly onto the box to take it right to the trash can.

“I can’t believe you would even say that, Trix. I expected better from you.”

“What the hell is that supposed to mean?” Trixie asks, standing and propping her hands on her hips.

“For God’s sake, Trixie! The man is married with a baby. What would I do to all of that if I said yes? I’m not a homewrecker. All he wants to do is use me anyway. He’ll probably drop me in three days for another woman. No thanks, not gonna happen. I’m not doing this.”

“Well, give it all to me, then,” Trixie shouts back, stalking over toward you and grabbing ahold of the package. You pull back firmly, preventing her from snatching it out of your fingers.

“Excuse me? What are you gonna do? You’re gonna go see him?”

“Maybe I will.”

“Well, I hate to break it to you, but he doesn’t want you. He wants me!” you shout, ripping the package away from her.

“Oh, that’s very nice of you. If you’re not gonna take him up on it, someone should!” she yells back, reaching for the package again.

“If you didn’t want to support me financially any more you could have just said it!”

“Don’t even!” she holds up her pointer finger. “You know very well that’s not what this is about. I have no problem helping you. You’re the one who’s always complaining about how pathetic it is that you have to mooch off me.”

“And not everyone has the luxury to just leave their lives, you know!” you yell. “I have to work, Trixie. To pay my bills, to keep my car, to avoid going to prison. Not everyone’s mommy and daddy are around to bail them out when they make stupid decisions!”

Right after the words escape your lips, your eyebrows unfurl and grief settles quickly in the depths of your stomach. When you notice a few glinting tears gathering in Trixie’s eyes, the reality of what you’ve said and its consequences are all too clear. Trixie huffs and stares at you for a moment before spinning on her heel and stalking down the hallway to her room. You drop the box on the counter and thrust your face into your hands, jumping at the rigid sound of her bedroom door slamming shut.

“Why don’t you just leave me alone?” you whisper to Elvis’ nonexistent frame as you toy with a piece of the wrapping paper.

You’d lied to Trixie, which you now feel increasingly bad about. You had heard from Elvis. Just a few letters here and there for the first couple of months after you rejected him the first time. You threw them all away without opening a single one. After a while, they just stopped coming and you thought you were in the clear. You were obviously wrong.

You glance around the apartment, thinking about how lucky you are to even be living here in the first place. Guilt racks through your body painfully and you sniff back a couple of tears before reaching across the table to grab the two tickets. As your eyes circle around the words, you sigh and then shuffle down the hall toward Trixie’s room. With a deep breath, you knock quietly on the door and lean against it.

“Trixie? I’m so sorry, Trix. I’m just overwhelmed and frustrated. I didn’t mean to call you stupid or…shame you for your upbringing. And I really shouldn’t dare considering how much you’ve done for me,” you say quietly, resting your forehead against the door. “It just feels so…unreal. This whole Elvis situation. Don’t get me wrong, of course I’m interested but it just…feels so wrong. He’s married with a kid and I…I’m scared.”

You wait a few seconds but hear nothing on the other side of the door. You turn with a dejected sigh and retreat to hide in your room. But as soon as you turn your back, the door clicks open. You whirl back around to see Trixie peeking her head out.

“I’m sorry,” you say but she holds up a hand.

“Don’t apologize. I’m the one who should be doing that. I have no right telling you what to do with your life. I certainly shouldn’t be mad at you for not accepting. This situation is very…unusual. I guess I just got jealous at the idea that the Elvis Presley wants you so badly that he went to all this trouble. And I hate to see you struggling. I know the money would reduce a lot of stress so I just think you should…I don’t know, consider it.”

“I know, Trix. I could use the money, of course. But I’m scared and embarrassed. What’ll happen if I eventually get old or uninteresting? If he gets bored of me and drops me for someone else? I barely know the man but he feels dangerous to me. Steve said something about him being unfaithful to his wife and…it’s just all so much.”

Trixie nods, leaning against the doorframe and crossing her arms over her chest. You sigh loudly.

“At the same time, though…” you offer a small smile and pull the two tickets from your back pocket. “I guess it wouldn’t hurt to take him up on this? It’d be a shame to waste two front row tickets, especially with how expensive they are nowadays. And it would give me the opportunity to tell him off once and for all. What do you think? Another roomie adventure?”

You wiggle the tickets in the air with a suggestive shrug. Trixie laughs and nudges the door open with her hip. She throws her arms around your shoulders and you lean into her touch, closing your eyes and squeezing tightly. When she releases you, you’re greeted by a massive smile on her beautiful face.

“I guess we should get packing, then,” you say, gesturing at the tickets which have tomorrow’s date printed all over them.

“I’ll call the hotel and make reservations!” Trixie shouts, clapping her hands together.

With that, she disappears into her room to start packing. You trudge back into the kitchen to retrieve the package and then disappear into your own room. A few minutes later, you hear Trixie’s favorite Elvis record playing from her room.

You spend most of the day packing and preparing to leave since you’ll need to depart first thing in the morning to make the concert on time. At least one full hour is spent on the phone with your boss at KNBC as you try to explain why you can’t come in tomorrow. Another hour is wasted when you spend it calling everyone you know at the office to see if they’ll fill in for you. Luckily, the last person on your contact list agrees to take your shift. You thank them endlessly and accidentally promise an autograph from Elvis, although you aren’t sure if you plan on being that close to him.

You pass out as soon as your head hits the pillow that night and, even though you’ve both slept in, you and Trixie are groggy as ever in the morning.

As you lift your suitcase from the bed, your eyes land on the package from Elvis, half-unopened and not packed in your case. You pause in the doorway for a moment, staring at it. Last night, it was all too clear why you shouldn’t bring it. The answer to his proposal was and always would be a firm no. But this morning, as your gaze falls frozen on the beautiful things he’d sent you and the haunting words he’d written, your heart thumps with anticipation. Sighing frustratedly, you click open the suitcase and shove both the dress and the lingerie inside.

You and Trixie leave LA around 11 a.m., piled into her blue Jeep Wagoneer. Two hours into the four hour trip, you switch off and take the wheel so Trixie can get some extra rest. She was awake until two in the morning pairing up the perfect outfits. To your surprise, the drive is over in a flash and, the next thing you know, you’re inching through the Vegas Strip, stuck in horrific traffic.

You check your wristwatch as you get caught by yet another red light. You have roughly four hours to get ready for the show. After parking and checking in at the front desk, you take your bags upstairs to get unpacked. Even with exploring the hotel, grabbing dinner, and getting changed for the concert (which includes the forty minutes you spent debating whether or not you should wear the blue dress Elvis sent you), you find yourselves with time to spare. You decide to head down early and see if you can get seated before the rush.

When you arrive outside of the showroom, you’re shocked to see the area relatively deserted. You check the ticket twice to make sure before approaching the security guard standing in front of the doors.

“Hi,” you say cheerily. “We’re here for the Elvis show and were just wondering if it’d be possible for us to be seated a little early? If not, that’s alright, but we figured we’d check.”

“Well,” the guard starts, his eyes tracking not-so-sneakily up and down yours and Trixie’s figures. “We normally don’t allow people in before the scheduled time, but I might be able to make an exception for two ladies as lovely as yourselves.”

He winks and you press your lips together to keep from laughing. You glance at Trixie out of the corner of your eye and see her holding a finger to her mouth to mask her amusement.

“Oh, that’d be awfully sweet of you…Henry,” Trixie says, flashing him her most charming smile.

Your eyes drop down to see his nametag which reads Henry. You bite your tongue as you watch Henry flash Trixie a smile. He glances around the surrounding casino floor to see if anyone else is watching before pushing open the big black door behind him. He gestures with his hand.

“Please come on in, ladies. Will you need help finding your seats today?”

“Oh, you’re too generous, Henry,” you say as you both glide past him into the showroom. “But I think we’ll be alright. If we get lost, we’ll be sure to find you.”

You throw in a wink for good measure and spin on your heel, dragging Trixie into the room. Only a few steps inside and you’re both laughing so hard that you can barely breathe. Your laughs dry up in a couple of seconds, however, when you start to take in the space. You mutter in awe and point around the room, admiring details like the golden curtains pulled over the stage and the ornate statues adorning each column. You pull out the tickets and use them to direct you both toward your seats in the front row.

“Damn, we’re literally right here,” you muse, glancing straight ahead of you onto the front of the stage.

You’re seated at a round table that’s clad with a very fanciful tablecloth, dishes, and wine glasses. A candle, unlit, rests in the middle of the table and there’s a note propped up against the glass. You tilt your head as you reach out to grab it.

“Oh my god,” you mutter as you read the writing on the outside. Princess.

“Ooh, what’s that?” Trixie asks, plopping into one of the chairs next to you. You open the note as you join her.

“Princess, I’m so glad you made it. When you get here, come see me backstage. I have a present for you,” you read, your eyebrows furrowing.

You glance at Trixie but she just raises her eyebrows and shrugs. With a deep breath, you grab onto your purse, still clutching the note in your fingers.

“Alright, well I guess now’s as good a time as any to break the hard news. I’ll be back, I hope. If anything happens to me back there, you get everything in the apartment,” you say with a goofy smile.

Trixie laughs and shoos you away just in time for the showroom doors to open and release a line of audience members into the area. You hurry toward a door on the left side of the stage which you assume leads to the backstage area, considering the security guard who stands in front of it. You clear your throat before announcing yourself.

“Uh, hi! I’m here to see Elvis. Well, everyone is here to do that, I guess, but I have this note and uh…well, here,” you say nervously and hand over the letter. He examines it as you wait and anxiously wring out your fingers.

“Y/N?”

Your head spins as a vaguely familiar voice sounds from behind you. A smile immediately spreads across your face as you recognize Elvis’ producer, Jerry. You give him a wave and a shrug as heat creeps into your face.

“Hi…” you greet him quietly.

“It’s nice to see you again,” he says, approaching you. He waves off the guard dismissively. “She’s good to go. He’s been expecting her for a long time. Here, I’ll show you back.”

The guard shimmies out of the way so Jerry can open the door. He gestures for you to enter with a smile and you thank him as you step through.

“Changed your mind, huh?” Jerry asks as you follow him through the backstage area.

“Uh, no actually. Not really. I’m just here to tell him to save his postage,” you say, feeling the need to justify yourself although you can’t explain why.

“Can’t blame you. These kinds of situations don’t work for everyone, although this will be a first for him.”

“Do you think he’ll be disappointed?” you ask jokingly.

“Oh I’d bet on it.” Apparently Jerry didn’t take your question as a joke. “Like I said before he’s been waiting for you, specifically, for a long time. I’m sure he’ll be very disappointed, but don’t let that stop you. It is your decision, after all. Good luck.”

Jerry points toward a dressing room door with big black letters which read ELVIS. You clear your throat and thank Jerry. He nods curtly and then spins on his heel to return to the work he probably needs to get done before the show starts. You straighten the hem of the blue dress he’d sent you and clutch firmly onto the strap of your purse, into which you’d also stuffed the lingerie at the last minute. It suddenly occurs to you that perhaps you were supposed to wear the lingerie under the dress…

Oh well, you think to yourself. Too late now.

You take a few deep breaths and smile awkwardly at the cast and crew who pass through the area on their way to get ready for the show. You know it’s ridiculous to think that everyone knows why you’re here but, despite the sheer unlikeliness of it all, you still feel embarrassed and shameful that you actually came. A few times, you debate backing away and returning to your table with Trixie to just enjoy the show. But something stops you every time. Eventually, your desire and curiosity move you forward and your knuckles knock on the door three times.

Ignoring the fight or flight mechanism that triggers in your chest, you wait for the door to open. In a matter of seconds, your wish is granted and he stands before you. He’s wearing an incredibly detailed white jumpsuit with flared pants and a popped collar. It’s unbuttoned all the way down to his waist and you gulp as your eyes immediately fly to the bare skin of his chest. As your gaze flicks back up to his face, you find him smirking down at you, his eyes already hungrily digesting your figure which stands in front of him. His body is elongated and pulled taut as he leans against the doorframe. He still looks good, as healthy and as sexy as ever, although his sideburns and hair are much longer than they had been almost a year ago.

“Princess,” he says in a voice even deeper than you remember. You begin to notice the painful thudding of your heart against your chest as his eyes take you in. “I figured you weren’t comin.”

This is it, the perfect opportunity for you to reject him and explain why you can’t take him up on his offer. But your brain stalls. It’s completely blank as you stare up at him with helpless doe eyes. He examines your figure once more before pushing the door open to create a space underneath his armpit for you to enter. You glance up at him, waiting for further instructions as if you need a translation. He flips his head toward the room.

“Inside.”

─────•~❉᯽❉~•─────

Reblogs, likes, comments + feedback are extremely appreciated! Please help support your content creators!

**If you notice any triggers or grammatical errors that I missed, please let me know! :)

taglist: @mrsjna @floralcyanide @austinbutler17 @slutforsomegoodlettuce @datsavageavenger @misspygmypie @yourfriendhenrywinter @queenslandlover-93 @kittenlittle24 @slutforblueeyes @theliterarybeldam @guns-n-queen @x-earthangel @adoreyouusugar @butler-trouble @kaycinema @mamaspresley @dontbesussis @littledanette @yagirlalexx @hangmanswhore @dark-as-love @adoreyouusugar @gemstone9 @austin-butlers-gf @dollfaceyourfear @tis-the-season-of-the-witch @coldonexx @austin-butlers-gf @sagesolsticewrites @mommy-maia @atombombbibunny @lexlexl3x @solo-pitstop-vibes @hopefulinlove @lordandmistress @domaniquessidehoe @elvismylove-blog @amiets2 @itsametaphorbriansblog @powerofelvis @beautyofelvis @austinstyles

[samd1o1]

Gothic Horror HCs But Using The Penny Dreadful Versions As Well Cus I Like Them

Hello, So recently I have been really obsessed with 1800s gothic horror literature.

My favorite books are (in order);

1. Frankenstein The Modern Prometheus

2. The Picture Of Dorian Gray

3. The Strange Case Of Dr. Jekyll And Mr. Hyde

4. Dracula

So imagine my fucking excitement when I heard there was a show that used THOSE EXACT FOUR BOOKS!!!!

Anyway I thought I'd take the time to talk about my favorite characters from the books/show and hcs I have for them all.

Now massive Trigger Warning for some ableism/sanism from the victorian era but also current day, and also queermisia.

All of these characters are canon ND I believe based off of their canon "madness" and I also believe they were all queer men.

----

Victor Frankenstein

Victor is a trans man you must understand this. He literally has postpartum depression in the book. He is also forced into an arranged marriage with a woman but has so much more chemistry with his best friend Henry Clerval. I think he's gay and his love for both Elizabeth and Lilly are just comphet. (He loves Elizabeth like a sister tho).

Victor is also disabled in the book. In Penny Dreadful he also has asthma! I also hc Victor is autistic. In the book he has a special interest in alchemy and science. He info dumps about poetry and clocks a lot in Penny Dreadful lmao. He's also just awkward like me fr fr. There was also a rlly funny scene in Penny Dreadful where everyone noticed this one character was a trans woman and made a "face" of surprise. Victor never did because honestly I don't think he fucking noticed. Which made me laugh because I didn't either.

Dorian Gray

This man is just me sometimes and I kinda hate it. Definitely has BPD. He treats life as a fantasy and has a hard time applying reality to reality. He also will love you one second and can hate you so passionately the next. Henry Wotton is most definitely his favorite person. There's also an entire chapter in the book dedicated to talking about his hyperfixations. Dorian is also bisexual! He falls in love with a few women in the book and Penny Dreadful. But also many men! Oscar Wilde was gay and put a lot of himself into Dorian lmao.

Henry Jekyll

Look the guy with daddy issues. Seriously out of all the things they chose to adapt for Penny Dreadful this made me laugh the most (in a good way). It's a random throwaway line in the book but I'm glad they kept it because his father leads to Henry's toxic mindset. Henry feels the need to be respectful in high society and not indulge his "indecent" thoughts. These thoughts include things like murder but also homosexual desires. The man is gay, love that for him. Don't let the musical fool you. I think his other violent thoughts come from OCD intrusive thoughts. As a median system I do also relate to the duality he feels. But I also would be careful ever putting a plural reading on Jekyll and Hyde for obvious reasons.

Robert Montague Renfield

Oh Renfield so much to say about you my man. (This is where that TW comes in handy)

Ok so the R.M. of his name standing for "Robert Montague" is ONLY from the new 2023 movie "Renfield". Renfield never had a first name because Bram Stoker was an ableist dick who saw Renfield as less than human for his mental illness. So out of spite of him and love for Renfield I hc his name to be Robert in all versions. This isn't to praise the new movie for its handle on mental illness though. While I absolutely adore the movie and it's camp and message I can't look past the ableism. It constantly demonizes NPD and for the topic of our discussion writes out Robert's mental illness. Robert in the book has psychosis and periods of mania and depression. Honestly I'll have to reread his sections of the book soon and see if I change my opinion because I had a hard time thinking of a label for him. Anyway I think he has Bipolar! But this is why I prefer Penny Dreadful over Renfield 2023 for the character. He gets to be mentally ill and still do a good thing and be just like everyone else in the show (not good or bad, just gray). On the topic of Renfield 2023 again I also think they (Drac and Ren) are ex lovers lmao, I mean it's literally framed like that they just don't have the balls to say it. I now just read every version like this. So yes another Bi king! Wow this ended up mainly being about Renfield whoops.

----

So yeah as you can see I really like the books and Penny Dreadful. I loved that Penny Dreadful wasn't scared to make its characters ND coded like a certain someone *cough* Renfield 2023 *cough* and be faithful to the OGs!

Anyway I'm not a medical professional lmao, I've just researched a lot of stuff trying to figure out my own problems and it's also smth I take an interest in. The queer stuff I am a professional tho /j.

Was this post messy? Oh yeah, wouldn't have it any other way.

[karoslittleblog]

Scaramouche as your best friend headcanons because I couldn't find anything

and I feel like I'm the only person who doesn't want to fuck this guy???

Tw: mentions of self harm? (Sorry I'm not good at this)

You use pet names e.g. rat, bastard, asshole, idiot, dumbass etc

Bonding over your issues (his mommy issues and whatever parent neglected you)(you're probably bonding over both mommy and daddy issues because he never had a parental figure until like Nahida??)

He gets nightmares and comes to your room to wake you up because if he can't sleep, you won't either (tho it probably ends with you just letting him into your bed and you talk until both of you fall asleep)

He claims he hates animals but you caught him petting a stray cat once with a dumb smile on his face and you never let him forget about it

Also Scara is a walking "scary dog privilege" so if you take him with you, you can literally go anywhere at any time, people are too scared of him to stop/approach you

He probably talks to Nahida about you, telling little details about you that he noticed or just telling her about your conversations with him, especially if you said something interesting that he didn't know or cracked a stupid joke (he laughed internally)

God forbid they mess up your order at the restaurant, he would flip if they messed up his, but yours? The restaurant might just close at this point. (Especially if you have an allergy and they gave you food with the thing you're allergic to)

You gave him a friendship bracelet, he said it's ugly but he wears it everyday and doesn't take it off. (He never takes it off, even when he has to take a bath, he just makes sure not to wet it too much)

He doesn't like physical contact, because of how Dottore experimented on him, so you're usually very careful not to touch him, he lets you hug him sometimes but just for a short while

If you guys are walking around the town and there's a drunk person or a stray dog (or just any creature that might be aggressive) he always moves so he's the one closer, he'll protect you in case of an attack.

He's just genuinely a good person but a total asshole at the same time? Like he's the type of person who says "no" if you ask him to pass you something, but he will pass it to you regardless??? Idk if this makes sense

You definitely steal his mean replies, and he's actually annoyed by it, he hates copy cats but as long as you make sure he's not there when you use his words, it's fine

He's also the type of person who, if you have beef with someone and you tell him about it, would cut contact with the person you're beefing, immediately. He would absolutely ignore them, even if they were your mutual colleague

He's also brutally honest, in a mean way. (He's working on it) (Nahida teaches him to be nicer) Like if you made a mistake on a test, he would tell you that you should've studied harder... And then he would see your sad gaze and say that you did a pretty good job regardless

You can't be his best friend if you don't love Nahida. He loves his auntie so much, and although he would never admit it, he would die for her. If there's someone in Sumeru speaking ill about the Dendro Archon, he will find them (and they will go missing suddenly?? I wonder why)

ALSO

I mentioned he hates touch, he especially hates when people touch his back/neck. Once you walked in on him trying to cut out the little mark on his neck, and you managed to stop him but it wasn't pleasant and you got hurt (because trying to forcefully grab the knife from him wasn't the best idea), so whenever he's mean to you, he remembers that and feels guilty, knowing that he hurt you physically back then and in that moment he's hurting you mentally (you kind of got used to his mean way of being but he's still afraid he might cross a line one day)