#tw: minor surgery

[odd-underscore-soul]

I’m rlly normal about trans sebastian (lie)

[abbylikestodraw]

[ltsmoving]

uuuhhhh medical malpractice below the cut btw wabughhhh and gore and surgeryyy

I got CARRIED AWAYYYY BYEEEE

hi I would LOVE to be someone's (many peoples actually) little fucked up doctor By The Way. playing the part of a sweet medical professional only interested in the betterment of your health, but of course that's not really the case.

You've been having pains in your hand and wrist? Oh dear, it's good you came to the clinic so soon! I'll patch you up, good as new, poor thing.

Having you take a seat in a chair for surgery and taking a seat opposite you while you're upright. Feeling along your wrists, palms, fingers, working gently and applying pressure- checking for where it hurts and making sure to press the hardest in the places you tell me it hurts most just to hear you whine.

I lean your chair back slightly and ready you for a deeper examination, I'll spare you the anthroplasty job as much as the thought excites me. No, these pains are simply sore muscles that will fade with time and a few hand exercises, but you knew what to expect when you came here with an ailment.

I'm ever so curious about your hands, I can't stop watching how they twitch and writhe, your visible heartbeat at multiple points where your veins are so delightfully close to the surface. I only want a closer look today, nothing fancy. Hell, you were so good during the first half, I'll let you have some anaesthesia. I find my patients are happiest after getting a treat, after all.

Once your hand is thoroughly numbed, I press and prod with first my fingers, then my fingernails around your wrist, before I start my incisions with my scalpel, completely free-hand. I know I don't have long before the anaesthetic will lose its potency, so I work somewhat faster than I usually would without numbing.

First, I look at your radial artery in your wrist, watching how it throbs and twitches. I run my free hand down its length and smile at you. It would mean so much to me to sever that artery, but why would I punish such a sweet thing who's been so co-operative?

I spend the next few minutes opening and sewing shut little holes in the thin flesh of you hands, with my last stop being at your knuckles.

I can see by the way you're starting to squirm a lot more in your seat that the pain is slowly coming back to you, that or you're loving the sight as much as I am. They're such cute little bones, I'm sure the joints between the medial and distal phalanges are much cuter, but the largest ones I can only think would make such an adorable pendant.

I'm shaken from my thoughts as you tap my shoulder lightly. Our time has run out, it seems. I sew you up and offer you some pain killers to take while your new stitches heal up. I'm about to dismiss you before I stop, thinking about how I had gone over the promised time and put you through some unnecessary pain. so, I let you pick a second treat- a piece of candy of your choice.

Before you leave, I take your stitch-spangled palm into my hand and etch a small mark above your index knuckle with a marker pen. That one's mine.

So you leave my clinic, new sutures, and a piece of candy richer. I await your next visit with the patience of a saint. my favourite little patient never fails to disappoint.

[batshikns]

folks, what if i started a go-fund-me for my cat

[truths33k3r4]

( TW for blood, needles, stitches, minor surgery, vomiting- not graphic cause ewww )

CHAPTER 13 - A Prick and a Pull

Who knew a little splash of blood could completely end a conversation dead in its’ tracks?

.. Well, now Leo and Lotus did.

Leo’s face twisted into a small grimace as he quickly jolted his foot away from the slowly growing crimson puddle on the floor. After shaking off the excess blood like a cat shaking it’s paw in the snow, Leo drew his attention to Lotus’ incision. 

It wasn’t a lot of blood.. Just what happens when you have a deep cut in your body and you have nothing to stop the bleeding. A thin stream had trickled down Lotus’ leg and slowly began to drip off the side of the surgical table.

‘ I should’ve covered the incision with something.. MAN I SUCK AT THIS. ‘ Leo self- scolded himself.

The strange thing was Lotus didn’t even notice it.. Guess she got too caught up in the so-called ‘conversation ‘ between her and Leo.. If you could even call it that..

Lotus tried to turn herself over to see what it was that made Leo jolt back, but instead jolted herself as another burning sting shot up her leg in protest of the movement. 

‘ ..OK… NOT GONNA MOVE ANYMORE.. NOTED. ‘ Lotus mentally stated as she let out a slight hiss from the pain.

After Leo promptly cleaned up the small puddle and what was remaining on his foot, he brought his focus back to Lotus.

“ Ok.. I’m really sorry Lotus, but I have to stitch you up before it gets infected.. “

Lotus’ shoulders raised the smallest bit.

Leo knew she was scared.. Heck, HE WAS THE REASON she was scared. It was his mistake that brought her so much pain.. Her fear was totally valid thanks to Leo’s awful track record today. 

“ I promise- I’ll go as fast as I ca- “

“ NO, LEONARDO. “ Lotus nearly shouted. 

Leo’s eyes filled with shock at her sudden impulsive reaction to his words.. He was used to her being so.. soft spoken. Blunt, yes, but never fiery or passionate.

Lotus’ shoulders were now completely up as her head began to subtly recoil into her shell. Not completely, but enough for Leo to notice.

“ YOUR MEDICINE DOESN’T WORK. It wore off -  It’s useless. “

Lotus gulped down the lump building in her throat of dread for what she was about to say.

“ You said it will take you 2 minutes? “

Leo nodded.

Lotus paused.

‘ Am I really gonna do this?...

The medicine didn’t work.

It still really hurt. ‘

Lotus subconsciously stroked her left thigh to relieve the pain that was building once again.

‘ It’s only two minutes. 

It will be fine.

I’ve been through worse.

I’ve survived worse.

A prick, a pull, and done.

IT’S TWO MINUTES.

A PRICK, A PULL, AND DONE.

…

…. This.. is gonna SUCK EDAMAME BEANS. ‘

“ I don’t need any numbing. Just start. “

Leo’s already wide eyes somehow grew in size as he processed what Lotus said.

“ I- You- You want me to stitch your leg with NO lidocaine???? “ Leo was nearly huffing as he ran through the scenario of what it would look like for Lotus to get stitches feeling… EVERYTHING. He tried again to talk her out of it.

“ Lotus- it’s just one pinch- and then I’ll work as fast as I can!! Don’t you at least want the CHANCE of not feeling it???? Maybe if I work fast it will last long enough! “

Lotus stayed quiet, taking a minute or so assessing Leo’s option.

… But her mind was already made up.

“ No.. thank you. ‘ She spoke in a huff. “ It’s a matter of the mind here Leo. I’m not going to lie to myself thinking that your dumb meds will work when it was just PROVEN that they don’t.

I just gotta tough it out. “

Lotus curled her arms around herself attempting a self hug, as she laid her head onto the surgical table’s pillow.

“ It’s just two minutes. Do your worst.“ 

Leo’s face became flushed with agony and shame. 

Normally, the phrase “ do your worst “ is used in a sarcastic tone. A comedic context. Something two friends would say to each other whilst playing video games, or forcing the other to eat something gross at a sleep over.

But Lotus spoke with no sarcasm. There was no humor to water down the potency of her words. Nothing to make it more bearable. 

Leo’s eyes attempted to form more tears, but the wells remained dry. He pulled a small rolling stool underneath himself and turned to face Lotus’ incision.

“ .. Are you sure?.. You’re going to feel everythi-”

“ YES. DO IT. “

Lotus braced every muscle despite all the protest of her incredibly sore body.

“ NO PAIN. NO GAIN. JUST DO IT. “ She choked out through gritted teeth.

Leo let out a silent sigh as he reached over to the cupboard and pulled out a package of needles and a spool of thread. 

‘ IT’S JUST.. TWO.. MINUTES.. ‘

Lotus shut her eyes as she listened to the faint sounds of Leo opening a bottle.

The putrid fumes of rubbing alcohol filled her senses.

With everything that had happened, the horrible burning pain, the constant fight against her nightmares and memories, and the dread of what was occuring NOW.. One couldn’t blame her for what happened next. 

The growing knot in her stomach took the horrid smell as the signal to vacate its’ contents.

It began with Lotus letting out a small gag, to which Leo IMMEDIATELY dropped the bottle onto the rolling table, and reached underneath for a small basin, handing it to Lotus in a panic.

( As the oldest brother of four, he was well-versed in knowing the tell-tale signs of nausea. And.. what came up with it. )

He gently rubbed Lotus’ shell, trying his best to bring her any comfort he could. He could feel under his hand that she was shaking more harshly now. Under such bodily distress, it certainly made sense.

She was completely exhausted.

After Lotus’ stomach was squeezed empty, she placed the basin to her side and hid her face in her crossed arms.

“ I hate this.. I hate this…. “ She squeaked as she began to sob into her arms. 

‘ Why is this happening.. WHY CAN’T MY STUPID BODY DO ANYTHING RIGHT- Why- WHY AM I LIKE THIS- WHY DID IT WEAR OFF… ‘

Lotus’ mind filled with question after question. An action to which nothing responded. No answers. Nothing. 

The void remained still and steadfast; The darkness covering up any chance of answers being given.

Lotus had heard many times at the lab various people shouting out the names of deities. Usually when they accidentally dropped something, or if an experiment proved successful.

On their podcasts or tv shows there would be characters praying to a god. Asking for direction or guidance or answers.

That’s how you knew it was just a tv show. Their questions were always answered. All of their problems magically were taken away thanks to their so-called faith. Thanks to their god.

And all Lotus could sense in her mind was darkness. Unrelenting stress, fear, shame, and anxiety. 

No answers.

Just endless silence.

‘ There is no way there’s a god out there.’

She heard a snip of scissors.

Lotus’s mind was yanked back to her horrible reality in an instant.

“ Try not to brace your muscles.. It will hurt worse. “ Leo spoke to her.

Before she could react, Leo inserted the needle. 

Lotus grasped onto the sides of the surgical table with both hands, squeezing as hard as she could to somehow relinquish the pain. A quiet whimper escaped her lips.

This pain was different. With the implant removal, it was more of a sharp burn accompanied by the frigid cold of the tweezers.. 

But this.. This felt as though someone stabbed into her leg with the thin edge of an iron-tip pen. 

Over and over again. 

With each stitch came a small snap of her skin, and with each needle prick came a tightening pull of the thread. 

For once, that day, Leo’s calculations were correct. 

Lotus’ incision took about 3 stitches to fully close, coming to around 2 minutes to finish the full procedure.

But as Lotus understood quite thoroughly, PAIN SLOWS TIME.

Seconds disguised themselves as minutes and hours. It felt like an eternity as Lotus dug her hands deeper and deeper into the surgical table’s rim. 

Every time the needle pierced into her skin she let out a sharp hiss, followed by a long whimper as Leo tightened the stitch.

It was awful.

‘ IT’S JUST TWO MINUTES.. IT’S JUST TWO MINUTES..’

Leo ( for once ) kept his word with moving as fast as he could. His hands worked swiftly and smoothly as he finally snipped off the remaining strand of thread.

NOW it was over.

Hohohohooo I had FUNN with this one. :)

If you have any questions about my story, the characters, whatever, you can send me an ask! :)

To God be the glory!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

[rottenmarquee]

Picky on how this can be done bcs loss of bodily autonomy scares me but ✨ aghhhndjfhj forced surgery ✨

Being forced to wear a breathing mask, not being able to hold your breath, not being able to fight the anesthesia as you feel your consciousness quickly fade. Not knowing what's going to happen to you. Waking up with a device installed inside of you that mind controls you and physically takes over your body is you try to disobey

Waking up after, being drugged up during recovery. But the pain medication and sedatives for surgery recovery making your mind weak..perfect opportunity for your mind to be played with. So you spend your time in recovery drifting in and out of consciousness, subliminals playing and spirals flashing

[mistical52]

I drew a few scenes from my Rise fic Karma (With a Hint of Time Travel) and this is one of them. Poor Future Leo's having to stitch up his injured side. This is from chapter 1, but a lot of my sketches are from chapter 2, so I'm going to hold onto those till I chuck the chapter up.

Sketchs from Chapter 2

Sketches from Chapter 3

[mousepuppyboy]

Gentle vent

TW: Teeth and surgery mention (no detail)

Mouse is sad that he can't use his sippy cups because of his wisdom teeth having been removed :(

[blatantescapism]

I get a very small liver resection done tomorrow. Should be minor

I was planning to bring my finger-woven belt WIP with me as entertainment for the hospital stay, but my lovely spouse pointed out that attempting a complicated pattern while on the Strong Painkillers was perhaps unwise.

All of my WIPs have complicated patterns, though..,

Contemplating whether it’s worth starting a very boring scarf, just to have something to do.

[i-eat-worlds]

This is a lab whump brain rot post. Have some ideas.

Whumpee only ever sees whumper when they are wearing a surgical gown, cap, gloves, and masks. When they escape, they have no idea what whumper looks like.

Blood soaked onto sterile drapes, sprayed onto the ceiling, splattered across whumper’s mask, pooled on the floor of the operating room.

Surgeon Whumper and Anesthesiologist Caretaker trying their best with limited access to painkillers and anesthetics.

Gloved hands palpating and pressing on whumpee’s bare skin, examining every inch.

Whumper complimenting whumpee innards during a surgery.

Whumpee gets sick/injured and whumper becomes obsessed with getting them better.

Whumper giving whumpee a daily questionnaire as the experiment progresses, watching as they slowly start to climb up the pain scale.

Half conscious during surgery, whumpee hears squishing and squelching until a finally, sickening, crunch.

Whumper showing whumpee each of their operating tools, and explaining what they do and how they’ll be used. Needles, scalpels, clamps, rib cutters, organized neatly on sterile trays.

Whumper paralyzes and intubates whumpee. They do not get anesthetics, and are awake the whole time.

Caretaker has to operate on whumpee again to fix the damage whumper caused. Whumpee is very surprised by the pain medication, and the anesthesia, and asking for permission before touching them.

I might add more if I think of it

[freakurodani]

me: oh I've been breathing super normal! just have a slight cough i can go walk around the ward a couple of times like a hospital ghost :)

me: oh god walking is different than sitting fuck

[truths33k3r4]

( TW for nightmares, horror-esque descriptions, eye strain and bright colors, blood )

( Also, another warning for the image at the end of the chapter, the bright colors, and chaotic patterns can be very overwhelming. )

CHAPTER 14 - Ghost of Her Past

Lotus’ body ached from her trembling. Her throat burned as if she had been force-fed hot, steaming lava. Her hands were much paler now, nearly white from their rigor mortis- like grip on the edge of the surgical table.

Leonardo didn’t fare much better.

His hands, which were sturdy and unmoving before, now trembled as he removed his gloves and put away the equipment. His eyes remained un-focused and glossed over.

The room once again fell into an unnerving silence.

Lotus didn’t move. Her form remained stiff as she laid on the surgical table, still tucking her head close to her plastron. 

“ It’s done, Lotus.. It’s.. “ Leo gulped down a large lump in his throat, “ ..It’s over. “

Lotus jarringly released her grip on the edge of the table and let out a long, much-needed sigh as she allowed her head to limply fall back onto the pillow.

She closed her eyes, and tried with all her might to find her way into the quiet, peaceful haven called slumber.

Leo watched as Lotus’ plastron slowed into a more steady rhythm. Her hands fell silently to her sides, and her head gradually leaned more and more into her pillow.

Ever since becoming the team medic, Leo always made sure to keep a close eye on his patient.

Failure to do so would result in a variety of further injuries or accidents, like when Mikey refused to rest and heal from his broken ankle from skateboarding, causing his fracture to not heal properly, and leaving his right foot partially bent to the left. 

Leo scolded him so much for that. He reminded Mikey over and over how he needed to be more careful, and how thanks to his recklessness, his ankle would be more prone to injury now. 

Leo tried as often as he could to not notice how Mikey would sometimes limp after a long day of training, or how he would act like he “tripped “ during a run to make an excuse to rest his swollen ankle.

As Sensei would always tell him, “ Iyashi to kyūsoku. “ ( Take time to heal. ) , and Leo always kept that little pocket of wisdom in the many filing cabinets he had organized in his brain.

His eyes scanned over Lotus as she finally reached the seemingly sweet embrace of sleep.

Leo would never outwardly admit it, but at that moment, seeing Lotus’ thin, sickly body lay motionless on the surgical table, she looked like.. well…

.. a corpse.

Her eyes remained closed, and her body lay still as the dirt over a grave.

‘ I think she’ll be ok now..’

Leo let out his own long sigh, making sure it was quiet enough to not disturb Lotus’ slumber, as he wrote down her vital signs in his notebook. 

~ Steady heartbeat. Shaking has mostly stopped. Hopefully nausea is gone as well. Will update once she wakes up. ~

Leo placed down his pencil and notebook onto the counter then slumped to the floor, falling into a cross-legged sitting position.

‘ Thank You, Lord, for helping me through the procedure.. Thank you for guiding my hands, and keeping them steady.. I-.. I’m sorry for being so stupid.. I’m sorry I failed to think of the simplest thing so Lotus wouldn’t get hurt.. I’m sorry I brought so much pain to her body.. I didn’t mean to.. I’m just so new at this.. I didn’t think of it- I didn’t think to- ‘

Leo took another breath.

He spoke truth in His heart, grounding his thoughts from the chaos and lies swirling inside.

‘ You know my heart, Lord. You KNOW I didn’t MEAN to do this.. You KNOW I didn’t want to hurt her. Please help that she’ll heal well, and that you’ll continue to guide me with the next steps of her recovery.. ‘

.  .  .

A bright light shone above.

The glaring whiteness burned into Lotus’ eyes, forcing her to squint.

Something tight was wrapped around her wrists and ankles.

She peered and tightened her brows as she looked down over her body.

Thick, relentless straps were pressing deep into her skin, causing the surrounding tissue to grow blue.

Her plastron felt as though something was weighing down on it, not allowing her to take a full breath.

She heard a voice, thick and muffled, trying to speak unintelligible words to her. 

The light above cascaded over a dark silhouette, painting the form’s outer edge with a vibrant glow. 

They walked slowly, looking like they were calculating each and every step. 

Their face remained stoic. Robotic even.

“... ell, well, ..ll. Thoug…y…ould esc..didn…ou? “

Lotus squinted harder, somehow thinking that would help her ears to understand the gibberish the figure was saying. Somehow it worked.

“ No, no, we can’t have that. “ the figure taunted, waving a finger in the air. “ You can’t leave when we have so much to do. So much to learn. “

Lotus’ eyes widened despite the intense light shining down.

Tears she didn’t know were there began pouring down her face. 

A deep pit in her stomach formed as her whole body tensed.

The figure continued to walk closer to her, then slowly reached down their hand to hover over various surgical tools and sharp objects strewn all over a long table. Their hand grazed over each terrifying object, as their face twisted and morphed with contemplation.

“ Would you hold still please? I won’t have you ruining any of my research. “

All of a sudden Lotus’ whole body tightened, forcing her arms and legs to stay down, and not allowing her head to move. 

But the straps still tied around her ankles and wrists weren’t to blame.

 Her body was moving on its’ own.

The figure came closer, leaning their head down to look Lotus dead in the eyes.

She screamed and tried with all her might to move, to pull back, to GET AWAY.

But the commands of the figure proved her instincts ineffective. Her body had one master.

And it wasn’t her.

Lotus had no choice but to look into the face, ( if you could even CALL it that ), of the figure. It was full of a thick blackness, almost like tar molded into the shape of a face.

There were no eye brows to convey emotion.

There were no lips to speak.

There were no eyes to look through.

There was no soul.

It’s hand rose, revealing a long slender blade. It slowly landed on top of Lotus’ chest, right above where her plastron began. 

Where her skin remained open and vulnerable. 

Lotus felt a burn of pressure as crimson filled her vision.

Well, that's it for this chapter. :)

I do believe this is the first time I've ever tried something close to horror writing.. Or at least- this is as CLOSE AS I'LL GET. I wanted to make sure that this chapter leaves you with a sense of uneasiness; A small pit in your stomach that makes you question what's going to happen. Hopefully it worked. :)

Anyways, it felt super nice to just sit and write and draw today. I missed it! :)

And if this chapter scared you, I apologize. :/

To God be the glory!

Masterpost <- PRIOR CHAPTER NEXT CHAPTER ->

[florenceisfalling]

fun spring break activity ideas:

asking my father to give me some tequila and then stab a hole in my ear with an x-acto knife

[chrometheraptor]

Ughhhhhhhhhhhh really upset because an irl friend turned out to have stupid views about trans people. I mean we were already drifting apart but still, it sucks

[xwildwhirlx]

don’t worry though! I’m fine, just hurting 🥲

[words-and-threads]

(Cn surgery, dysphoria, body horror, reproductive organs, gendered violence, swearing)

I've never quite been sure whether my horror around pregnancy and childbirth is an expression of dysphoria. I know a lot of full-time women find the idea empowering or life-affirming. To me the emotional difference between a chest-burster and a fetus is consent and a lower chance of death.

And that's so weird because I have no problem with the idea of changing my body. If surgery weren't expensive, risky, and painful I'd be getting mods all the time. I still kind of want to go on low doses of T and I don't want to be a full time man either. I revel in being freaky, monstrous, unnatural, and all that holds me back from being more so is the effort and pain.

But the idea of housing a tiny human inside me (not anyone, just me specifically)? Repulsive, invasive, just wrong. One of the surgeries I want is to remove my uterus. All it does is hurt, bleed and risk pregnancy. I'd rather lack a major organ that my body has spent 35 years growing around than allow it to fulfil its natural function. Is this discomfort with womanhood? I dont feel the same about my chest at all. I live as a woman most of the time, I'm fine being seen as a woman because it's not wrong, just incomplete.

Plus a lot of things about living as a woman just suck. Even if it's better than trying to be a man when you aren't one, it's still a tough job. I feel uncomfortable with femme presentation because I feel exposed, targeted, marked. I am drawing attention to being a woman and that feels dangerous. Maybe it's also dysphoric, maybe it's social anxiety, maybe it's traumatic experiences of sexism. I can't really separate them.

I still feel uncomfortable calling myself trans because I could live stealth for the rest of my life and I'd be fine. I'm a cis woman some of the time. That's enough, right? I don't need to claim transness. I don't mind if other people consider me trans. I love it when people can't guess my gender and I'm very visibly queer. If I were trans I would hardly be hiding it but like...am I tho? Really? And since I'm not really trans I can't really have gender dysphoria so obviously my utter horror of pregnancy and discomfort with femininity isn't a gender identity thing I'm just weird.

Yep. Checks out.