#tw: hysterectomy

[deathdetermineslife]

for my fellow selfshippers that experience a menstrual cycle;

your f/o would do anything they can to help you through the pain. if you need pain meds or a heating pad or you just need held, they'd help you.

if you experience dysphoria around this time, they'd do anything to help you with that, too! whatever you prefer, they'd do anything to make you more comfortable.

when you're hungry, they'd get you something to eat, no matter what it was. they'd make you your favorite meals and make sure you had everything you needed to stay comfortable and happy.

[unhingedtiktoks]

Description: Tiktok from user heckyesconcrete stitching user lruperez7. The first video shows a girl looking confused with a flashing color filter and the caption "What do men have in their body in place of a uterus? Are their other organs just bigger/shifted differently? Or is there like... free space?" A different girl says "I'm really into anatomy so I have a real answer for this! Here you can see the male anatomy and it has all the same things that the female anatomy does, lungs pancreas gallbladder all that good stuff, but right here you can see there's a little spot where the uterus would be and in the male anatomy, that's where the fucking audacity is-"

[sharknado-three]

Homophobes: I don't hate people who struggle with homosexual tendencies, I just think sodomy is a sin and responsible for spreading disease. I will do anything in my power to stop people from having gay sex, including campaigning to make it illegal. I believe being visibly homosexual in the presence of kids is making kids gay and shouldn't be allowed.

LGBT+ community: That's homophobic.

TERFs: I don't hate dysphoric females, I just think transitioning is causing irreversible damage and reinforcing sexist stereotypes. I will do anything in my power to stop "confused lesbians" from destroying their bodies, including campaigning to make transition illegal. I believe being visibly trans in the presence of kids is making kids gender-confused and shouldn't be allowed.

Some of you: Wow, TERFs sure do love AFAB trans people! They literally said so and we know bigots would never lie about that!

[genderqueerpositivity]

TW: hysterectomy, periods, and medical talk

As an update I guess, last week I cleared the next hurdle in the process of getting my hysterectomy. The good news is that I got the referral I needed to the exact trans affirming provider I want to see and I have an appointment set for a consultation in December.

The less awesome news is that I am impatient, December is still months away, and given that the appointment is right before Christmas I will almost certainly end up having the surgery some time after the New Year. Which isn't ideal for insurance purposes dammit but there's not much I can do there.

On one hand, I am nervous because this may still not work out for a bunch of potential reasons. I'm afraid of being turned away over some nonsense reason like my weight, or that the hospital system I'm going through will end gender affirming care and that will prevent me from having the surgery. And I am also nervous because I've never had surgery before, but that is absolutely not going to stop me.

On the other hand, I am delighted and I can't help but feel happy every time I think about this. I am finally so close to this working out. No more hormonal birth control, no more fear of pregnancy, no more random ass cramping reminding me of the existence of these organs it feels like I should have never had, no more breakthrough bleeding, no more nightmare hell periods ever even if I end up losing access to HRT (I intend to keep an ovary just in case of this, but everything else I want gone).

I can't even express how important this is to me. I've wanted this for years, from the moment in 9th grade health class where I first learned that removing a uterus is possible, and long before I even knew what nonbinary genders are or fully understood what gender dysphoria is.

I need this to happen.

A surprise to me, but it looks like I might even be going into this with support from my family; I wouldn't say they're as happy as I am, but I've received no negative comments or push back. No one I've told so far is surprised at all that I am doing this. My dad tells me that I was all of 10 years old the first time that I told him that I would never have children. So it's fair to say that this process has been over 22 years in the making. I think I can wait 4 or 5 more months.

[yearning-gay]

girl who cums in me without meaning to and is so sorry about it and stumbles over her words trying to offer to get me plan b. wrapping my legs around her and kissing her forehead and telling her to cum inside mommy one more time like a good girl

[ineffectualdemon]

Guess who has two thumbs and is getting a hysterectomy!

The guy scare mongered about the surgery for a bit and then tried to tell me my mother, grandmother, and great grandmother needing emergency hysterectomies "didn't indicate anything hereditary"

Me: well they all had PCOS and had their concerns and symptoms ignored until it nearly killed them so you can understand my concerns

Also!

Me: so this injection..all the literature I find doesn't recommend it for longer then 6 months

Him: yeah that's what it's licensed for but it's safe for longer

Me: evidence?

Him: I know so

Me: …DOUBT

[jen-with-a-pen]

pre-op appointment for laparoscopy is this afternoon. anxious but not afraid anymore. just hoping we can do it somewhat soon so I can stop feeling like wolverine is using my abdomen and pelvis as a goddamn punching bag (and not in the good way)

[sunspill]

Hi I'd like to take back every nice thing I said about my surgeon.

This is a venty and /lengthy/ post about my experience with an accelerated emergency hysterectomy (<2wks from diagnosis to surgery). I'm adding a cut in case medical stuff is triggering for anyone or if you're like "I've heard enough outta you about doctors" (understandable).

I'm struggling to sleep rn in a hospital room so I'm venting to distract while I wait for my nurse to check in with me about more morphine.

So my gyn and my surgeon are the same person, an OBGYN in San Francisco. He was the only would who could see me after multiple ER and 2 urgent care visits for severe pain in my abdomen. Eventually the ER orders an ultrasound. a surprise vaginal ultrasound that I was not informed would involve insertion of the wand into my vagina until the tech told me to take off my underwear. They had told me it would be a stomach ultrasound to look for masses. I'm still... unhappy about this. It hurt and the tech was like "all women get these its fine". Anyway, I had one moderately large fibroid and possibly scar tissue and smaller masses.

Sidenote: I'm not sure if i have ever felt being viewed as less than human more in the ER. Downplaying my symptoms, telling me the ER doesn't dispense pain medication (which they later did multiple times), that fibroids don't cause any pain, accusations of drug-seeking, and multiple insinuations that I was pregnant or otherwise lying. One such accusation was a question posed to my partner about if we ever had threesomes with men or if maybe I cheated on them and contracted pregnancy or STD. Oh and when I got diagnosed they didn't say "it's fibroids" they said "there's at least one tumor in your uterus" like ! Why would they say it like that?? Every nurse was pissed to be there and I strongly believed one of them hard painful pricked me in my wrist instead of my elbow because they were annoying I was sobbing in the room outside the nurses lounge. When my partner confronted them about that choice they were like "well we can remove it but you won't get fluids or meds then". It hurt for 2 days afterwards. I had been to urgent care and the er previous to this and had no issues with the inner elbow.

I called gynos all over the place but no one else except this doctor, lets say... Dr Yan, could see me within 3 weeks. My PCP refused to provide pain management and I had been out of work for a week and half, returning to the ER multiple times because I was screaming in pain for hours. The ER would prescribe a small amount of prescription pain killers, I would try to make them stretch, and then I would have to return to the ER. I was bedridden from pain. Planned Parenthood couldn't help with treatment but told me based on the ER imaging I might have adenomyosis, for which the only "cure" would be to remove my uterus, removing just fibroid is much more difficult with adenomyosis.

So I was desperate and Dr Yan was willing to do a hysterectomy as well as willing to push my insurance company to get it done fast as I was pulling no income - I ran out of PTO after a week of calling out. I felt I needed it fast and it started to hurt more whenever I ate or drank. He somehow got it moved to yesterday.

But he was awful. He wouldn't give specific answers to my questions, he barely walked me through what the procedure entailed after my partner pressed harder, and kept saying it is a very common procedure that is easy and not painful.

He lied to me, saying I'd be home the same day and a nerve blocker administered during surgery would keep me numb for two days. The recovery nurse told me that's not true. He insisted that pain would be minimal and his patients were fine with otc pain management. He said it needed to be abdominal, which I have since learned is not the case and is the most painful and longest recovery time for hysterectomy

The only thing he reiterated and talked about was how I would be unable to get pregnant, which was the only thing I *already* knew. 

He did one physical exam during initial appt which was pushing on my abdomen, ordered no additional imaging or appts, and literally disappeared into another room while my back was turned signing forms. I had to sit in the waiting room for another 20 minutes to get him to sign insurance and leave of work papers.

He was 20 min late to my pre-op appt and his office had no idea why. he performed a pelvis exam on me, externally and then inserted his fingers into my vagina for an internal exam without telling me. I had never had a pelvic exam before. It hurt enough bc he did not use lubrication. My partner confronted him angrily and he said he knows what he's doing and the exam was over anyway. He told me again the surgery would be simple.

I woke up screaming in observation, where i was given Tylenol. The surgical nurse lied to me and said they had already called my partner. After an hour of pain they moved me to a recovery room, where I had access to my phone and called my partner, who had not been contacted and rushed over. I was alone and crying out in pain.

The nurse told me that they could only give me Tylenol because Dr Yan had left the hospital without putting in orders for me aka authorizing use of moderate to severe controlled painkillers. They said as soon as they could get him on the phone they could give me something for the pain because I had been given 4 grams of Tylenol and couldn't have more. Dr Yan never answered the phone.

I am not joking when I say this next part, because I was able to track the time through my chart just now to get exact numbers and times. I came out of surgery no later than 800am. In a recovery room by 9. I screamed, absolutely not an exaggeration, I was crying out and sobbing and could not think, I was sweating and my entire body was shaking. I was dry heaving and spitting up bile, which made the pain worse. I don't remember anything except the pain, although apparently i did say some funny things to my partner coming down from the general anesthesia (thought we were in grocery outlet).

At 2:14 the hospitalist gave up calling and admitted me, transferring care away from Dr Yan. At 4:45pm they administered a very lose dose of morphine, and I finally stopped screaming. It was still very painful, and my partner timed me - I would sleep for 1-7 minutes, then wake up crying out in pain for 3-10min, repeat. The nurse told me I would receive stronger pain management when I had a room.

At 430pm they transfered me to my room, which involved the transport guy hitting my bed against the counter. The transfer from bed to bed was so jolting I started screaming again, which lasted until 445pm, when they administered triple the dose of morphine given earlier.

This has been the most painful experience of my life. The Dr said no more morphine and would administer those opiate pills cut w ibuprofen or whatever. They would give me just enough to cut my pain back from 10 to 6/7, then make me wait until 10, then make me wait crying out in pain while they got the dr to put in an order for more. It was like reps of a gym set except the absolute worst pain based version.

Around 6pm, my partner advocated aggressively as my pain was only receding to a 8 or 9 and I could no longer nap or drink water due to the pain. My muscles were so clenched I tore my paper gown. The nurse (who had seen all of this go down and was b attentive) recommended to the dr that I receive straight oxycodeine via IV. My doctor, who saw me once when i was transfered which consisted of introducing himself, said I didn't need such a strong medicine and I should take tramadol instead.

The tramadol had almost no effect, and I was then told I couldn't have the oxy because I had gotten the tramadol instead. By 630 I was at a 10 and screaming again. The dr ordered a lidocaine patch (no effect).

At 655 a new dr replaced the previous and immediately ordered dilaudid. My pain finally dropped to a 5.

At 830pm guess who fuckin shows up in my room. Dr Yan, who's like "you don't seem in pain" SIR I HAD SO MANY DRUGS INSIDE ME AND I WSS STILL AT A 5. And I needed two people to get me to the bathroom (5 ft away). He shows me a picture of the biggest mass, says I'm fine, offers no explanation for why he fucked me over so badly, and leaves. I should have demanded information but my throat hurt from crying and screaming and I had only slept 2 hrs in the previous 2 days.

The recovery nurse apologized profusely to me and said she believed he had been grossly negligent. The anaesthesiologist came and told me my body eats painkillers and anesthesia with a strong natural tolerance, and that some of the refusal to give more or stronger dosages was probably because doctors basically read charts, and would see that I had been administered a lot already. They would then decide that was enough based on what they believed to be averagely appropriate. Even tho I have it documented from his hospice ICU care notes that my dad had a similar tolerance. The recovery nurse agreed as she had been observing me, administering the meds, and see my-clearly-caused -by -pain symptoms continue.

The night nurses and doctors have been better. I got some more morphine just now, and a sleep aid that didn't work but I appreciate they tried to address that issue.

Anyway jeez if you read everything you deserve a medal. My memory has been very poor due to drugs and pain so I've been trying to work out a timeline of what happened. I know it's kind of a baby thing because no one attacked me and I don't seem to have surgical complications and after all this the hospital is sending me home with opiates, but I feel kinda shell shocked. It felt crazy to be lying in the hospital screaming in pain for hours and hours just for someone to come in every hour and say their hands were tied even tho the hospital is the only place for strong pain relief that isnt like, street fet. I removed an organ, I knew it would hurt, but I've never in my life experienced anything like that. It was worse than all other pain I've had combined. I thought i was going to die.

Anyway the nurse is giving me Ativan! I hope to rest now. Cross your fingers for me and stay away from DR YUAN DA FAN OBGYN SUTTER HEALTH SAN FRANCISCO.

[silbeni]

Sufferer

[angry-snail]

It's been a year since my hysterectomy yahoo

[ruurat]

shuichi is slightly unwell.

[thecurvyprince]

I had to get a speculum check today so I'm feeling a bit extra insecure and vulnerable about my body. I'm still bleeding and stuff so I haven't gotten to enjoy the freedom of having no uterus yet.

[utterdrip]

everytime i have my period now i think about when @tavs-brainworm said that all this “thinking pussy blood is going to waste” and it makes the days a little more bearable

[reallyrandomtj]

Me: sits at computer ready to tackle drafts.

My doctor: calling me to inform what to expect from our face to face meeting in preparation for my hysterectomy.

Me: both excited but scared for the meeting booked for September 17th that I take a nap to try properly process it.

Also me, fresh from my nap: nervous af so I may try to hide in my drafts.

Once again. I'm one step closer to being cancer free and my emotions of it all has overwhelmed me for the last couple of hours-- so I apologize if I'm not very talkative for the next few hours... the nap helped but I'm both happy ( that the meeting is booked ) but sad ( today was the originally booked hysterectomy and I want this cancer gone so badly ) and I felt like I needed to share it here.

[turnipstewdios]

Ok, had my hysterectomy two days ago. Everything went well, no complications. And I have actually stopped taking the pain meds, because this is legitimately less painful that any period cramp I've ever had. I didn't think my cramps were that bad? Hearing the way some folks talk about them, it didn't seem like what I was dealing with was all that extreme. But if three surgical incisions and two missing organs hurts less than the cramps did I was probably just not processing the pain well at the time. I do still have one ovary left, so it's possible I could get cramping from that, but they took the right side out, so if I get any pain over there it's probably the appendix instead. Ether way. I have been successfully removed from the gene pool.

[pelipper]

YEETERUS COMPLETERUS! ❤️‍🩹