#tw: death in childbirth

[thestressedsimmer]

IN MEMORY OF ALL THOSE WHO DIED IN 1315.

Ulric Elwyne

1286 - February 2nd, 1315

Ulric was a serf farmer who was a beloved father. He had three children throughout his lifetime before his wife, Blossom, passed away during childbirth. Instead of remarrying, he focused on raising his children to the best of his ability.

When the Great Famine struck, the man decided to go without so his growing children could eat. This eventually took a toll on his body and he collapsed in his home. Despite his children's best efforts to care for him, he eventually succumbed and joined his wife and youngest son in the Watcher's embrace.

He is survived by his two children, Volkivia and Kid Elwyne.

Her Majesty Queen Joan of Willow Creek

1293 - June 14th, 1315

Queen Joan was actually born Joan Comyn, a noble lady in Henford on Bagley. As the oldest daughter in a noble family, her goal in life was to marry well, even though being away from her family would be hard since she was extremely close to her brothers and sisters - especially her younger sister Elizabeth.

Thanks to her close relationship with Queen Marjory, having been raised side-by-side as sisters after the death of King Robert, she wound up married to the future King of Willow Creek, Louis X. Her marriage with him had its share of ups and downs, seeing as his father died shortly after they were wed, but they were a team at the end of the day. Nobles would joke that if you want Louis to see your side, you need to convince his "heart," aka his wife. She convinced him of much; including securing marriages for two of her siblings - Lord John Comyn IV and Duchess Elizabeth Capet (nee Comyn) - who were both married to Louis' siblings.

Queen Joan had two children, both boys, Prince John of Willow Creek and Prince Adomar of Willow Creek. She passed shortly after giving birth to her second son, probably out of exhaustion.

She is survived by her parents, Baron John Comyn III & Baroness Joan Comyn, her 6 living siblings, her two nieces, and her son, la Dauphin Adomar of Willow Creek.

Lord Gilbert Capet of Willow Creek

July 7th, 1315 - July 7th, 1315

Lord Gilbert was the first (and only) son of Prince Robert of Willow Creek and Duchess Elizabeth Capet.

Unfortunately, the boy was not meant to be and was born sleeping. He is survived by his twin sister, Lady Genevote Capet, and his father Prince Robert.

Her Royal Highness Duchess Elizabeth Capet of Willow Creek

1299 - July 7th, 1315

Duchess Elizabeth Capet was born Elizabeth Comyn in Henford-on-Bagley to Baron John Comyn III and Baroness Joan Comyn as the second daughter. An adventurous girl from her earliest days, she was known for causing trouble and creating elaborate games with her brothers and sisters in which she was the knight that saved people. While this was a dream that couldn't come true, she enjoyed living out her fantasies.

By the time she had outgrown this, her sister had been married to the (then) Dauphin of Willow Creek. It had been hard for Elizabeth to say goodbye to her big sister and closest friend, but she busied herself with her own adventures; she could be found hiding in the nearby forests with her little book of fairytales.

With her sister's political maneuverings, Elizabeth was betrothed to Prince Robert; a sure fire way for her to travel and live out part of her childhood dream. Elizabeth fell in love with her husband-to-be and even got in trouble for getting a little too close before their wedding day!

Not long after her brother-in-law and sister were crowned the king and queen of Willow Creek, Elizabeth married Prince Robert in a grand ceremony and became the duchess of Willow Creek. She fell pregnant on their wedding night.

The duchess gave birth to twins, Lord Gilbert Capet and Lady Genevote Capet. Unfortunately one of the twins was stillborn, but she adored her daughter in the brief time she knew her. She hemorrhaged later that day and was once again reunited with her big sister and closest friend.

Elizabeth is survived by her parents, her 6 living siblings, her nephew Dauphin Adomar, her niece Deredere, her husband Prince Robert, and her daughter Lady Genevote.

[natjennie]

okay, bear with me this requires a lot of context. imagine that you wake up on a space ship with an alien species capable of telepathic communication with you. they are also capable of instilling you with the knowledge that everything they say is completely true, there is not a hint of uncertainty in your mind. they have weapons capable of obliterating earth pointed at the planet, and are forcing you to do one of two things in order to not fire. within the fiction of the scenario you are not being given the choice, but you the real you is picking which one of these things you'd rather have happen.

you must eat an 8 ounce serving of human baby meat, by default prepared like a steak (different preparations can be requested). you do not have to keep the meat down once you're done, but you have to get all of it in your body at one point. they do not provide any information about where the baby came from or how it died. if you complete this, they will deposit you back on earth and you will be free from legal repercussions of cannibalism, and it is generally agreed that you are also free from moral blame as it was against your will.

you will be surgically impregnated with a human embryo and must carry it to term and give birth. the embryo does not contain your dna, but otherwise you don't know anything about its origins. the aliens have advanced medical technology that gives you sufficient anatomy to carry and birth the baby, and keeps you healthy throughout, with no risk of long term complications or death. you have the choice to keep or give away the baby once you have given birth, and will be deposited back on earth.

if you refuse to comply in either situation, they destroy the earth and you are forced to live the rest of your life aboard the space ship as a prisoner, until you die of natural causes.

so,

[tooquirkytolose]

Little Annie Clear

[slate-skylar]

He'd expected that response -- perhaps he hadn't expected how loud it was, how his ears would begin to ring -- but he said, "Okay, we call her, we go to the hospital, when she gets there, we go home. How about that? Just in case?" He was pleading with her, scared of her pain, scared of losing her. He'd borne witness to too many lost pregnancies; too many lost mothers. He knew birth involved pain, he knew that logically, had prepared himself for it, and yet seeing her here -- he was fucking scared. Scared of what might happen. "Please. I'll call her now. Right now." He pulled his phone from his pocket with trembling fingers.

Cress screamed, releasing a guttural yell, equal parts pain and frustration. It felt good to force the air out, to channel all of the sensation into a primal growl. She wasn't going to a hospital. She wasn't letting them anywhere near Kya. Slate knew that. He knew better than to suggest-- "I'd sooner have her here," she hissed, knowing that they were ill-equipped for any such procedure. But she trusted Hestia on the bathroom floor of Twelve -- unprepared and untrained -- more than she did any Capitol doctor in a facility. Cress' judgement was clouded though, colored with fear that fed her stubbornness. "Ah--" The pain radiated through her lower back. Slate was right. Of course he was right. But that didn't make her any less scared.

[torchflies]

Hi TG Fandom!

@xtherainbowconnectionx mentioned Texan Ice to me and I cannot get him out of my head. 

Just, a Tom Kazansky who was raised out in Nowhere, Texas and didn't really wear shoes until he was old enough for school. 

An Ice who was called Junie or Junior growing up and the only son of a bullfighter and a barrel racer who fell in love at the local Rodeo. 

Maybe he was the only child of a mother who died too soon, died bringing him into the world too early because it was 1959 and they lived so far from town. He was small and pink and Tom Kazansky Sr. was so desperate that he popped his newborn son in a basket and put him in the oven to keep him warm. 

He gives his name to that little boy because it’s all he has to give, a name from a place he's never been and the deed to his dead Mama’s farm. 

I need a Tom Senior who tries so hard but doesn't understand his son. Ice has dreams of flying and something beyond sorghum fields and Tom Senior loves his son with all his heart but doesn't really know him. He didn't know his own Daddy beyond the buckle of a belt. He raised his son with all the goodness he could muster. 

He doesn't want his little boy to go to a place that he can't protect him and the only thing he knows about the military is the boys who didn't come home from ‘Nam. 

He can't vocalize his fears though, so he tells his boy not to come back without a chest full of metals and golden wings. 

Then he cries in his barn with no company but the stars. 

Ice comes home with a loudmouthed boy who is small and wiry and reminds Tom Senior of himself — running away to the Rodeo to fight bulls that were less scary than his own drunk of a daddy. 

He loves his boy, who is the sun that rises and sets, the thing that Tom Senior’s world revolves around. But there is no poetry in their life and he's just a man, but he opens the door wide enough to usher both men inside. 

“Y’all can bunk down in Junior’s room. It’s mighty fine to me.” 

It’s love, in the only way Tom Senior can express it. 

Just — Texan Ice is giving me feelings. 

[rouecentric]

Hello! Are requests open? Can you do more lant agriche x reader pls 😭😭😭

COLD HANDS AND A HARDENED GLARE.

synopsis ; the cruel head of the black agrece, a menacing man, truly, but he was nothing more than a loving grandfather to his grandchild.

tw/cw ; lant agrece in general, childbirth, death.

letter from the stars ; i made these into a half headcannons- half oneshot and made it platonic since you didn't specify what kind of relationship you wanted lant to have with reader, so i hope you don't mind it!!

LANT AGRECE, a man who's said to not care about anything but himself, a man who's the head of the black agrece, a monster in many people's eyes, but to you? he was just a peculiar and strange grandfather.

the duke thought he wouldn't care about his family, simply using them to his benefits and wants, until his eldest son, dion, had a child with his now-dead wife, with the child thankfully ending up healthy.

but, just for the sake of it and to keep his son in check, he had come unannounced to his grandchild's nursery to see what all the fuss is about when it came to the newborn, as he heard that the newborn was oddly calm, rarely crying or making noise, instead just either staying quiet or sleeping. once he had arrived at the nursery, he ushered the maids and nanny out, wanting to be alone with the child for until he left.

after his meeting with the newborn, it's been said and known that the head of the black agrece would then on often visit his grandchild, usually having a gift for them.

that revelation somewhat shook the other agrece members, but mostly dion, jeremy, and roxana. what did the newborn do to make the head like them so much? they'll unfortunately never get to find out, though.

once the new addition of the family turned old enough, they'd soon enough constantly find themselves stay beside their grandfather's side during meetings, going as far as to join the banquets he went to with their father, aunt, and uncle.

everywhere the head of the black agrece went you would too, it was almost if he gained a shadow that mimicked everything he did. it was almost terrifying to think that the young child could resemble the head that much, even though only in behavior.

it's not unknown that he favored you more than his children, teaching you everything he knew from a young age, as a way for you to both bond and to raise you as a possibly fitting future head if dion ever dies prematurely.

[ii-neg-confessions]

not gonna lie... i want cabby dead. I hope she dies. I hope she gets pregnant and dies from carrying too many cubs.

what exactly do you expect to gain from this

[quitealotofsodapop]

more Soft Boiled!

[the little red ribbon in her hair!!! And she has her own version of Macaque's scarf!!]

the red ribbon was meant to be phoenix feathers like Wukong's cap, and I like ti think her scarf may actually be a piece of Macaque's original scarf. the one he wears pre-death is different from his scarf post-resurrection, so maybe after he died Wukong wanted to keep a momento for himself/his unborn daughter. Macaque comes back to life and assumed the scarf, which was a gift from Wukong in the first place, had been rescinded as a show of them no longer being together. that is, until he recognizes the fabric hanging from the shoulders of a familiar black-furred child that just broke his nose mid shadow play.

[Wukong about to get a talking to the second his adoptive family gets a hold of him. Once the monkey recovers from the early labour, and has emotionally recovered from the rollercoaster that was Yuebei's birth ofc.]

I can imagine PIF helping as a sort of midwife through the whole thing, and being very supportive and giving a lot of great advice, having gone through a similarly rough pregnancy not overly long ago herself (I also like to think Red Son, due to the fire causing the pregnancy and birth complication, was also a premmie). aaanndd then the moment Wukong is ok again after Yuebei is confirmed ok she's turning into the most foul-mouthed, harshest, rage filled person in the room. the others don't bother scolding Wukong much, taking softer tones in despite their concern and annoyance, partly because she said it all first, and partly because they feel bad about how utterly devastating her rant was.

[It would be so cute if Yuebei first started crying over something completely normal - for some reason, I'm thinking it's something like Zhu Bajie trying to pull a funny face for her. Wukong is so relieved to hear his baby crying that he doesn't even scold his pilgrim brother for scaring her!]

she's awake, but barely, and still so, so quiet. then, admist the other pilgrims quiet fussing over her, Zhu Bajie tries to lighten the mood by making a face. she starts wailing. Wukong, who was just about ready to go out like a light, instantly is next to the crib, picking her up and both trying to comfort her and himself as he cries in joy and relief. the others have a similar joyous reaction, except for Bajie, who is very wounded by the thought of being ugly enough to make a baby cry.

[Wukong would be so protective of his little Moon Comet Star. She was so sickly and weak as a baby, that he worries about ever letting her leave places he knows to be safe.]

maybe another lasting affect of her brief encounter with the fire is sever asthma. not great for a premature newborn. I imagine it would be something that sticks with you if your baby is constantly wheezing, coughing, unable to really make sounds, struggling to eat, struggling to breath, and maybe even stops breathing entirely entirely at times. And with almost nothing you can do, as back when she was born their wouldn't really have been much treatment or medicine for things like asthma. the constant worry of Yuebei suddenly not being able to breath probably means she never really got to go places, especially without her Baba. heaven forbid is she also has any seasonal allergies. not to say Wukong was a total helicopter parent, but he definitely worried.

Wukong is aware enough to understand that this is not a normal, or ideal childhood, so now that she's a bit bigger and stronger he's really trying to not lose his mind with anxiety every time MK takes her somewhere new off island without him. he even tries to encourage her to go out, so even if he has worries and a few different concerns when MK mentions the noodle shop all got tickets plus an extra one for the his daughter to a shadow play he tries not to stifle anyone's fun.

[That and I can imagine Wukong took her to stay with Guanyin on her unaging island for a while to help her health improve.] + [I bet even with Guanyin, "Cousin" Nezha, and the very rare corespondance with PIF and Red Son, Yuebei spends a lot of her childhood lonely]

as mentioned above, with her having been so sick she def would have spent a lot of time at Guanyin's. she's a renowned healer, and Guanyin is someone he trusts dearly to boot, so going to the goddess is a win-win in his eyes.

and yeah. between not being allowed to go out to new places much due to being a sickly child, and Wukong's reputation and not having anyone to connect with other then busy celestials, there's not much chance to go exploring. the monkeys are fun, but they and her baba treat her very delicately even when playing. her baba is awesome in her eyes, and its one thing for your parent to be someone you can call a best friend, but its a little different when your parent is your only friend. its why, despite not liking him much, she jumps at MK's offer to take her off island and into the city without her baba sometimes.

I feel like she'd make fast friends with Bai He once the LBD fiasco is over.

[Yuebei is gonna have a time when she starts understanding whats really going on with the Noodle Gang, and why her family "suddenly" can't remember her. Wukong blames himself for not explaining it better to her earlier, but hadn't wanted to dump so much loss on his babygirl all at once - it was a lose-lose situation.]

Yuebei learning and coming to understand what's happened probably ends up being the b-plot of an episode. maybe "Amnesia Rules", instead of Wukong getting his memories back by getting hit over the head, it happens because he realizes through Yuebei having an emotional breakdown over the others, and now her own father, having forgetton her and he realizes that she's describing them having reincarnated and he's like "ah! that's what happened." and explains more indepth what that means to her. the others hear of her feeling about "them forgtting her" for the first time during this, and can't help but feel bad and try and help Wukong explain. she probably clings to her baba for a long time after, and stops being as cld to the others. maybe even kinda apologizes to MK for thinking he stole them from her.

maybe. not sure how well the idea works.

[Yuebei doesn't like Macaque, but she doesn't completely abhor the idea of him and her baba becoming close again. She just doesn't want either of them to get hurt again.]

she doesn't protest her presence much, as her baba seems... hopeful (though still a little sad sometimes) when he's around, and she also doesn't hate the idea of having her second baba around. but she also doesn't let him off scott free, glaring over Wukong's shoulder at him when macaque gets to close to soon, clinging to Wukong when he tries to talk to her, not talking much around him even if he addresses her directly, and generally not being very receptive. she probably at some point goes through a "rebelious phase" where she does things to test if he'll "really stick around even if she's troublesome". as far as she knows, he didn't even want her in the first place, or at least didn't care that Wukong was having her, so to her it seems like a reasonable thing to question.

[Azure Lion about to get decked in the face the second he comes around. When did the monkeys multiply? Why is he on fire?]

what can Yuebei say? she's fiercely protective and not happy about someone trying to take away her baba again.

[Wukong is just watching Yuebei tear into their enemies like; "I love my strong little girl." <3]

probably been said before, but no matter the universe; Wukong is a proud dad to all his kids at all times

Prev.

[Macaque comes back to life and assumed the scarf, which was a gift from Wukong in the first place, had been rescinded as a show of them no longer being together. that is, until he recognizes the fabric hanging from the shoulders of a familiar black-furred child that just broke his nose mid shadow play.]

I'm sorry but that is the cutest/saddest gotdamn thing ever. Wukong was so distraught at losing Macaque that he couldn't bare to leave behind his most cherished possession. So he took the scarf. Wrapped it around himself when he felt cold. Maybe even used it to swaddle his new baby girl. Yuebei dragging it around the cave as her security blanket. It being carefully washed and repaired so many times that it's barely red any more.

In the end, Wukong wanted Macaque to be there with him through all of This.

And once the reality sets in, Macaque is sobbing at the sight of Yuebei wearing her beloved scarf as he once did.

And I just love that my reoccurring theme with Macaque in the Egg aus is;

[aaanndd then the moment Wukong is ok again after Yuebei is confirmed ok she's turning into the most foul-mouthed, harshest, rage filled person in the room.]

PIF is terrifying when she's genuinely angry/worried - and once Wukong and Yuebei are safe/healthy post-natal, she starts yelling.

Wukong now finally understands what Macaque meant when he said his "ears are burning". Once the woman calms down, she wraps Wukong into a near-crushing hug, thanking and begging him to never ever do something so stupid again. Even if it saved her baby, Wukong nearly lost his. And PIF would never forgive herself if little Yuebei had been lost to the fire.

Yuebei gets a tearful kiss on the forehead from her auntie before PIF leaves the room, content with the words spoken.

Wukong makes sure to hug DBK when he sees him next, knowing that the Bull feels the same as his wife over the matter.

[the others have a similar joyous reaction, except for Bajie, who is very wounded by the thought of being ugly enough to make a baby cry.]

HAHA! XD Bajie would take it as an insult - but at least his little bro is happy to hear the baby make noise. A loud piglet is a healthy piglet. And little Yuebei was a real quiet piglet for a long time... at least she stops being afraid of ol' Uncle Bajie when she gets a little bigger.

I immediately thought of a scene from Hero is Back where Bajie is trying to calm down the baby Silly Girl by pulling a face, only for the baby to start screaming at him.

[maybe another lasting affect of her brief encounter with the fire is sever asthma. not great for a premature newborn.] + [heaven forbid is she also has any seasonal allergies. not to say Wukong was a total helicopter parent, but he definitely worried.] + [and yeah. between not being allowed to go out to new places much due to being a sickly child, and Wukong's reputation and not having anyone to connect with other then busy celestials, there's not much chance to go exploring.]

Oof. This hit me as an asthmatic preemie myself. Cus so much of my health was compromised as a little kid, I wasn't very active or adventurous - something thats easy to regret as an adult.

Wukong is so scared of how fragile his cub is. He's immortal, he's indestructable - but that means nothing to him if he can't protect his baby. He knows that mint and licorice, and anti-muscosal formulas help people with poor lungs, but the science back then wasn't 100% sure, and he sure as Diyu wasn't letting his daughter smoke datura cigarettes like the western doctors reccomended! At least the Eqyptians had Kyphi - an incense mixture (multiple formulas) that was frequently repurposed into asthma treatments.

All he can really do is to have a fully-stocked pharmacy inside Water-Curtain Cave, and make sure Yuebei stays away from pollen-rich flowers.

Wukong cries with relief in the early 20th century when Ventolin, Antihistamines, and Epinephrine become common knowledge.

Bonus: Interesting article I found on asthma treatment in Traditional Chinese medicine.

[as mentioned above, with her having been so sick she def would have spent a lot of time at Guanyin's. she's a renowned healer, and Guanyin is someone he trusts dearly to boot, so going to the goddess is a win-win in his eyes.]

Yuebei probably sees Guanyin as an aunt/grandparent figure. Hard not to when the bodhisattva is so doting over the tiny girl. Yuebei finds a lot of her lessons and treatments boring, but at least for a long time she had Red to hang out with.

Guanyin knows Wukong wouldn't trust Yuebei's care with them lightly. Even if Guanyin was present to bless Yuebei's arrival, the Monkey King is hesistant to let anyone tend to his little girl for a long time. The goddess is honoured to be so trusted.

[she jumps at MK's offer to take her off island and into the city without her baba sometimes.]

It's the thing that allows her to open up to MK a little more, even with her burning jealousy of how he's spending so much time with her baba + the Noodle Gang family + him getting to have a "normal" life pretending to be a healthy human cub.

She likes arcades but they get very loud for her at times. MK is quick to notice when the "Monkey Princess" (as he calls her) gets overstimulated, and suggests that they check out a quieter activity.

Like a play.

[I feel like she'd make fast friends with Bai He once the LBD fiasco is over.]

Little girl gang! And if Bai He is a foster kid/orphan like I hc, then Yuebei has zero issue letting another sickly little girl into her family. She's very sympathetic and understanding of Bai He's physical limits ever since she hosted LBD - the human girl now aching constantly from her body being forced to move like a puppet. The two jokingly compare how one briefly hosted Fire while the other Ice. Bai He could be considered the more feminine of the two, but they both bond over shared interest in animal science - Yuebei still loves her dinosaurs while Bai He is still a die-hard cat fan. And ofc the inherent chaos that two fearless little girls can get up to when they wander off from their babas' watchful gaze.

[the others hear of her feeling about "them forgtting her" for the first time during this, and can't help but feel bad and try and help Wukong explain. she probably clings to her baba for a long time after, and stops being as cld to the others. maybe even kinda apologizes to MK for thinking he stole them from her. maybe. not sure how well the idea works.]

Ultimately, even if Yuebei understood how death/reincarnation worked, she would still feel "forgotten" as (nearly) every soul that passes through Diyu is made to drink Meng Po's broth and forget their past lives. The little girl still feels abandoned in some way by her Pilgrim uncles "leaving" her and her baba. It's bad enough that Uncle Bull had to go away for a long time, but to lose her uncles, only to see them again in new forms that don't recognize her, devastates Yuebei in a way thats hard for her to articulate.

And for her own parent to be afflicted in a way that makes him unable to remember her? Oh you better believe Yuebei is a complete mess.

When Wukong briefly loses his memory in "Amnesia Rules"; he initially panics, wondering why he can't "feel the Egg" any more - only to look over at Yuebei and have a moment of fractured memory thinking that she must be a projection from the future, or an Egg Macaque made on his own without him.

This assumption continues unaddressed until the gang manages to get Tang back, and befriend Scorpion Queen. As they're about to get Wukong to go back into astral meditation to "reboot" himself, the ginger monkey turns to ask Yuebei something thats been plaguing him all day.

Amnesiac!Wukong: "Are you my Egg?" Yuebei, sadly: "I was..." Amnesiac!Wukong: "Aww. Come here, cub." (*Wukong pulls Yuebei in for a hug*) Amnesiac!Wukong: "If you really are my little Egg many years from now, I'm happy that she grows into a strong, fearless little lady. I'm proud to be your Baba." Yuebei: (*cries into Wukong's shoulder*) "I love you baba..." Amnesiac!Wukong, crying too: "I'm so happy to be able to hear that. I was so scared when you tried absorbing the Samadhi Fire... I thought I lost you. But you're a tough little girl aren't you? You spat that fire right out like it was sour!" Yuebei, aware of her birth circumstances: "Yeah. You tell me that story all the time." Pigsy and Tang, not aware: "What?"

Pigsy and Tang are so emotional over the amnesiac!father-daughter bonding, that they are completely off-guard when the older monkey rattles off some details about the Samadhi Fire that he neglected to let the others in on.

[she probably at some point goes through a "rebelious phase" where she does things to test if he'll "really stick around even if she's troublesome". as far as she knows, he didn't even want her in the first place, or at least didn't care that Wukong was having her, so to her it seems like a reasonable thing to question.]

Ooof!! I love the idea of Yuebei antagonising Macaque "just to be sure" that he's serious about staying around. Macaque honestly tries his best to be patient, but after a while he starts to get super annoyed with the girl's attitude.

Then one stray prank or comment rolls into a genuine verbal confrontation.

Macaque: "What is it about me that offends you so much!? I get it - my and your dad had a few fights and I sorta almost destroyed the world trying to escape the Bone Demon - but I'm trying my best here! I wouldn't have broken your dad out of his possession if I didn't think he was worth sticking around for!" Yuebei, emotional: "How am I supposed to believe that when you left us twice!?" Macaque, realizing: "Twice? What do you mean by- OH." Yuebei: (*trying not to cry*) Macaque: "You... you thought I knew? Kid, I only learned you even existed as a concept when Jin and Yin busted my lip open first thing after New Years." Yuebei: "You have your special ears! You should have known I was there when you-" (*stops talking, buries head into knees*) Macaque, extremely guilty: "I should have. I really should have. But I chose not to listen. I was just so... angry at that monk, at the circlet, even at your baba, I..." *sighs* "Maybe if I had stopped to listen, I would have known you were there. That Wukong had someone he would kill me for. I don't blame him for that." Yuebei, lifts head from knees: "You don't?" Macaque: "Nah. You're a lot cooler than I am. You took the Samadhi Fire head in before you were even born. And when you saw the Bone Demon, you didn't run and hide like I did - you and MK took that witch out. And did I see a certain little warrior take her first war trophy before we left?" Yuebei, avoiding eye contact: "She isn't using it..." Macaque: "To be fair it wasn't getting much use with her anyway. If she had a brain in that skull, she'd know Wukong picks a good troop. I just wished I had known that a few centuries ago..." Yuebei & Macaque share an awkward silence Macaque: "I wanna stick around kiddo. I missed out on a lot when I left. Both times really... But I want to stay. Flower Fruit Mountain is my home too, and I hope someday it could be a home me and your baba can share together again. Even if you don't believe me." Yuebei: (*affectionate elbow jab into Mac's rib*) Macaque, chuckling: "Well, that's progress from the nose busting." Yuebei: (*trying not to laugh*)

Bonus: Wukong hears some of this convo, or it's parroted to him by one of the (sneaked-out of Diyu with Mac) Eclipse twins. You know this monkey crying over his former mate and his baby girl finally starting to get along!

[what can Yuebei say? she's fiercely protective and not happy about someone trying to take away her baba again.]

The only reason Azure gets as far as he does with the Memory Scroll is that Yuebei is either A: Not on FFM at the time, or B: Got Memory Scroll'd in the confusion.

Otherwise, she starts kicking and punching Azure the second she clocks who he is. MK and Mei are gonna have to drag her off of him.

The Jade Emperor and Xiwangmu see this tiny monkey, burning with rightous anger and protectiveness, and just know who's cub she is. The Emperor does however, look over to his wife very briefly to ask if the little girl dragging Azure Lion by the scruff of the neck to Diyu is a lost grandchild of theirs.

[probably been said before, but no matter the universe; Wukong is a proud dad to all his kids at all times]

Wukong loves his kids so gotdang much. Canon or au - him a proud dad.

This got a little away from me - I hope you liked my reply!

[katatty]

Right as I was thinking about this, Helen died! How awful for Bryanna, she felt like a complete failure of a midwife.

I felt so bad that I let Alexander plead for his wife. Luckily he suceeded! In-universe, I'm treating pleading with the reaper as an attempt to perform emergency medical care. Making up some quick rules to retroactively justify myself (lol), in order to plead:

A healer or midwife must be present

OR the sim must have studied physiology

[showmethesneer]

The fact that Dolores Haze died in childbirth will never not be the most gut-wrenching symbolism in all of literature to me.

In a literal sense, of course she was going to have complications. She had been raped for years as a child. That's unspeakable trauma put on her still-developing organs.

But also the metaphor of Lolita, the nymphet, dying when she becomes a mother is so perfect it makes me angry and somehow elated at the same time. It's almost like this small victory, this idea that she was able to escape ever being viewed and abused like that again, because she has crossed a threshold into permanent adulthood. And I know the point was that the character actually died, and i know that Humbert was never deterred by her being pregnant (not in his sick, incestuous fantasies nor in reality), but I like to imagine that Dolores lived, and that only Lolita died when she gave birth.

[terrence-silver]

Can you please do a scenario where Terrys beloved dies during childbirth and how he copes with his grief. Would he accept and love the baby or reject and blame the baby.

---

Like five hundred other people are to blame.

Surgeons. Doctors. Nurses. Midwives. The medical staff at the emergency room. The poor, unlucky chauffeur who drove the beloved to their usual appointments, for all we know. The measures they took. The measures they didn't take. The amount of dedication they clearly didn't show, in his opinion. It is the ultimate betrayal that'll get so many people hurt. When Terry Silver pays a sum for a service, he expects the service delivered to perfection and according to his instructions; that's how that social contract works because nothing's for free, and if you throw a whole fortune at something, you expect nothing but your vision delivered to you down to the smallest details. The fact that he was failed so catastrophically it resulted in the death of the person he covets and loves the most? Someone stripped away beyond his control to stop it!? When he trusted vetted professionals, the best of the best in their field, to do the job right!? I swear to god, heads will fly. He daydreams about what could've happened if he just kicked down the doors of the delivery room and carried beloved out of there before it was too fucking late. The revenge will be horrifying, though. People will lose jobs. Their licenses to practice medicine. They'll be blacklisted. Sued. They'll find their cars blown up. Their places of residence broken into. Burned down. The hospital they worked in foreclosed, bought out, bulldozed overnight and turned into an empty privately owned lot until not even a single brick remains of the place that killed beloved. For the love of all that's holy, some of the participants involved in the tragedy might even find their own loved ones done in by mysterious circumstances because blood can be only repaid by blood. A life for a life. And since Terry might just think the life of someone he loves is worth infinitely more than just one life, the retaliation can be truly awful and result in some many injured parties and so much damage it is pretty hard to describe just how far he'd go.

Pretty far, I'd reckon.

Murder, carnage and torture type of far.

When the dragon's been woken, it's impossible to get him to slumber again.

But, however far it does go, I doubt he'd ever blame his child; if anything, his possessiveness of them is only kickstarted into some very excessive territories day one seeing as how they're the last thing he has left off from beloved and the one thing that'll outlive him and carry him on, into the future, and so, all the more reason for him to be devoted to his offspring with all the lovesickness a human heart can produce, blaming, perhaps, himself, all the more, behind the narcissistic facade that he is infallible and all powerful. Terry actually feels he's entirely to blame, triggered into a bygone time where his clumsiness resulted in a friend's death, and here he is, decades later, at the very exact same place. He lost control then and he lost control now. Almost like he's back at the very same spot he was in Vietnam and he's still that scared, shivering boy in the cage and he's angry. Desperate. Vulnerable. And oh so feral. And everyone best beware. This is an issue that The Valley might just end up burning down over, engulfing everything far and wide. Man would step on the whole world because he'd feel the world deserves it now more than ever.

This is an extremely deadly mindset to put Terry Silver into.

No telling how violently all of it could culminate in his mourning.

[thestressedsimmer]

After spending time cuddling her newest son and yelling through the door to her husband that they'd had a boy? Her Majesty said that she was very tired and handed the babe off to her midwives to crawl into bed with a smile on her face. She seemed almost serene as she did this.

After a few hours, her son was fussing from hunger and the midwives went to wake the queen to offer her the chance to feed him... only to find her not breathing. Not moving at all. There had been no sign of distress, she had just passed.

She gave birth at 7:52 AM and was discovered deceased at 9:52 AM.

The king was immediately summoned and told the bad news; he rushed to his wife's side, unable to believe the emotional whiplash of a healthy son, but....

He sat by her side for some time, but tears would not come. He felt purely numb. Maybe that was his response to having a beautiful son but his wife not making it through. Maybe he reasoned that her suffering was over and she was with their other son.

Or maybe it hadn't truly hit him. But either way? He knew that he had to tell the rest of the family and inform her sister - the duke and duchess lived within walking distance of the castle so she could come and see her sister before the funeral. It would be wrong to not give her that chance.

Duchess Elizabeth was there far faster than she should have been. She brushed right passed the king, not even stopping to pay respects to him. At first she just stared at her sister; it felt strange to see her big sister so ummoving.

Before long, she crawled into bed with her like she did when they were kids. They would often lay in bed and talk about their adventures. When her sister was to wed a prince and heir to the throne it had felt so surreal... And then Joan had made sure she could get her truest wish of traveling by convincing the royal family to give Robert her hand.

"We were supposed to go on this adventure together." She whispered to her sister after some time, clutching onto her. . . It wasn't until she heard the king's voice that she moved.

"She cared for you very deeply, you know. Our last conversation was her fretting about not being able to support you through your pregnancy because she would be in confinement."

Laying her head on her sister's shoulder? Elizabeth nodded. "She is... was the best older sister I could have asked for. I know I worried her. But I thought I would have more time to make that up to her."

"You have nothing to make up to her, Lizzy."

There was a long pause then and Louis wondered if he said something wrong, but then....

She threw herself in his arms and squeezed him tightly. No more words were said between them, they just shared each other's grief and pain.

Outside of the door, the princess was avoiding going in to see her sister-in-law. This is by far the first death in the family, but somehow this felt the hardest.

Maybe because Joan had helped her through those other deaths. The queen often held her own head high and held the princess' hand through saying her goodbyes and even would teach her hymns from Henford-On-Bagley; the songs from there were very different than songs from Willow Creek.

Her mother, la reine mère, knelt down beside her and placed a hand on her shoulder.

"I can't do it, mère. I can't... I can't... She can't be gone."

"I'm afraid that's not how things work, princesse." The older woman said softly, squeezing Ysole's shoulder. "You will never forgive yourself if you don't say goodbye. Come with me, I'll even go first to show you that it isn't as frightening as it seems."

Entering the bedroom, she walked over to her daughter-in-law's side. They weren't as close as she was with her other daughter-in-law, but she had truly cared for the girl. Her mother's heart ached when she struggled with her grandson's death and she could only be grateful for how she had taken Ysole under her wing.

"You have been a great queen. Willow Creek thanks you." She whispered to her. She knew the younger woman had worried if she was a good enough queen. . . So if there was one message she wished she could hear before she passed on to Paradise? It was that.

Ysole mirrored her mother's movements, stepping over and placing her hand on Joan... She was trembling. But her mother was right. She needed to say goodbye to her.

"I. . . I'll miss you. And I'll miss our games of chess and late night talks and your stories and... and the songs... I'll have to try to remember them on my own now.... and. . . and. . ."

She spun around and threw herself into her mother's arms, starting to sob. It felt odd to feel her sister-in-law so stiff and cold. But she also seemed so peaceful at the same time.... It all hurt her head.

"Mère, I can't do anymore. Do you think she'll be angry with me? Or hurt?"

Her mother sighed softly and hugged her as tightly as she could. "No, my dear. I think she'll just be happy that you came to say goodbye. And very proud of you for handling it so well."

On that note, she picked up the crying young girl.

Elizabeth decided to go with them to try and fill Joan's role with calming the princess. On top of all of that, they women knew that they had more chances to say goodbye to the queen at her funeral.

Her husband? This was the only chance he got. Kings did not attend funerals, after all.

[primordialruin]

Calling it now as a HC for myself. Under the cut for triggering content. (Please check the tags)

Given how unsavory she was in the garden + her description in the Zohar that has her as needing to be removed (and the corruption thing I discovered about Adam & the taking of the female for her protection), Lilith would have been removed regardless if she and Adam made up, copulated and expected children together, because Lilith would have been cursed to die in childbirth together with their child/children (since, iirc, the kids that were meant to come from the first humans were supposed to be twins). I think the only way these two would have thrived together would be as adoptive parents, completely childfree, or through becoming an item without the pressure of having to nurture humanity to Heaven's standards, which would either be done outside of Eden, or far off into the future when their purpose didn't matter anymore. I just don't see a reason for them to thrive in Eden while they had a chip on their shoulder. 🤷‍♀️

[eri-pl]

Ar-Pharazôn's mother

(Lady not-appearing-in-the-canon*, I'll probably devise a name for her soon.)

(Late Numenor, but in terms of things explicitely mentioned we aren't going beyond speculated murder + some emotional abuse. Not a veeery long post, but long enough that it would get the cut even without the TWs.)

So, I was thinking about Pharazôn (as you do).

About how his father was a nasty, opinionated guy hating the Faithful and yet Pharazôn in his youth spent time with Amandil, Elendil, Miriel etc, in Andunie. Why? Who took him there, who let him?

Not his father, obviously, so I assume it must have been his mother. I don't think she was one of the Faithful (his dad probably wouldn't marry her in that case, also I think it would lead to Pharazôn being a better person… maybe?). But I think she was quite neutral on the Faithful-King's Men divide—as neutral as one can be—and was close friends with some of them, probably related to some, and keeping close ties with friends and family was important to her.

Technically Miriel (and, more distantly, amandil) was Gimilkhâd's (Pharazôn's father's) family, but knowing Tolkien's family trees (only first cousins are a clear "nope") I would assume his mother was also related to them somehow. Even if not, she clearly liked them enough to keep strong contacts.

And then she died. Yes, I think she died relatively early.

If she leaned (even socially) towards the Faithful, or simply grew old and Gimilkhâd wanted a younger wife… we're talking late Numenor. There were surely many plants and substances he could have used to make it look natural.

Or she may have died giving birth to a daughter (the daughters and sisters are rarely mentioned even if they exist), which would lead Pharazôn to dislike the idea of having kids in general. (I have some HCs about it but that's another thing).

Or, tbh, it may have been both.

Anyway she died and Gimilkhâd had nobody to stop him from "teaching" his son "proper Númenorean values". Which unfortunately stuck, even after Pharazôn left to Middle Earth to prove himself… I imagine Gimilkhâd as the kind of guy who is never satisfied with his son (think: Oazi to Zuko, kind of, but there's no Azula), and his own upbringing hadn't been great either (think: Azula). It was a whole chain of emotional abuse and expectations.

And then Pharazôn returned and his father was dead but at this point he had internalized enough of the legacy. He chose to make the memory of Gimilkhâd proud, or maybe to prove it wrong. Same thing, in the end.

But the friendships ignited by his mother remained alive until almost the end. Almost.

I wonder if Sauron, when he got to know Pharazôn better, slowly changed his voice, every day making it closer to Gimilkhâd's. OK, I do not wonder. He did. He absolutely did.

*btw Edennill, don't ever watch Monty Python, you'd hate it in more than one way. Probably. Anyway, I do reference it sometimes.

[jokerislandgirl32]

Guilt, Hope, and Gratitude

@foolsworldsblog asked this question in response to this post ⬇️

JIG Message: For this answer I’m placing it below a cut because it is filled with angst/depressing topics, discussions of pregnancy, stillbirth, loss of child, childbirth and delivery, and near death experiences. Nothing is explained in explicit or gory detail, but please do not proceed further if you are uncomfortable with such topics.

Zach’s Response

Well, this is a little hard to answer, technically we have two first borns. We have Alexandria, who is our first born but was stillborn. Then we have Varina who is our oldest earthbound child, and the first one born to survive birth/infancy. If that makes sense. Both times I felt an overwhelming sense of guilt when each child was delivered. 

With Alexandria we knew she wasn’t going to be born alive, I had to watch Violet endure a horrible and emotional labor and delivery only to have our child enter the world without ever taking her first breath or making one cry. Although the doctors informed us that it was nothing Violet or I had done wrong to cause the stillbirth, I still blamed myself for it.

I felt guilty because I couldn’t take Violet’s emotional and physical pain away. I felt guilty because our beautiful little girl never had a chance at life. I felt guilty because I hadn’t taken precautions, and I’d gotten Violet pregnant when her body was not ready for the pregnancy. Even after we took Violet to the doctor, monitored her health, and made sure she took the medication needed to ensure the safety of the pregnancy…we lost Alexandria. 

I held Alexandria after she was born, I named her, I talked to her…I didn’t want to let her go…But Violet was so distraught she couldn’t hold her or even look at her for the longest time. When the hospital staff came to take her, Violet finally gathered up the courage to hold her and look at her, and I’ve never heard Violet cry like that in my life, it absolutely destroyed me, and I’ll never get over that feeling of guilt and pain as long as I live. 

Varina’s birth elicited much of the same guilt ridden feelings. Violet went into premature labor and delivered Varina in the Tortuga with the help of the Wild Rats. Violet passed out due to complications shortly after Varina’s birth, and Varina was barely breathing. 

While I held Varina after she was born, it felt like it did with Alexandria all over again. I’d gotten Violet pregnant, I’d know the fragile state of her body, I’d known the hectic schedule I’d been putting us through with all of my villainous deeds wasn’t good for Violet while carrying this beautiful rainbow baby. But I’d done it anyway. And watching both of my girls struggle, fearing I’d lose another daughter and the love of my life filled me with nothing but absolute remorse and dread. 

But, holding Varina those few moments before we arrived at the hospital, seeing this tiny little bundle, the physical embodiment of mine and Violet’s love, gave me a sense of hope and extreme gratitude. I knew if Varina made it to this point and survived the birth, she’d make it in the end. 

I was so grateful that even though I’d made so many terrible decisions, Violet delivered this child alive, and Violet was still alive. I had hope that they make it, I prayed they’d make it, and in the end, they did.

So, for me fatherhood started out with feelings of sorrow and guilt, but it developed into feelings of immense joy, hope, and gratitude. It changed me for the better, and I am so thankful for the family Violet and I have created. 

POV: Guilty Me.

-Zach Varmitech-

[torchflies]

Hi TG Fandom!

It’s me again! 

So, we all know Rooster had his little meltdown and said his whole schtick: “No wife. No kids. No one to mourn you when you burn in.” to Maverick like a spoiled little brat while having none of those things. And okay, he was mad, sure, but he hit below the belt — anyway, hang on…

Imagine this instead:

A nineteen-year-old Rooster going to college classes at a university that isn't the Academy (after blowing up at the only family he has left), who falls for a Bio Major that offered him a free bulb when his tail-light blinker went out. 

I need you to imagine that he really loves this girl — the full Carl and Ellie from Up — he loves her more than anything. Of course, they have no money and they live off ramen noodles in a shitty studio apartment. But he starts a life with this girl, proposes to her with his Mom’s ring, and all he wants to do is call Mav and Ice, to call the Flyboys, to say look at her, isn't she perfect?

He starts to lose that anger, it flows out of him with every hungry night that he gives up his dinner so she can have more, with every paycheck-to-paycheck month and when they both pull all-nighters to make it through.

He slowly realizes how much Mav must have sacrificed when he was small and suddenly, he feels wrong inside. 

He wants to apologize, to go home. 

But he's still young and bitter and he doesn't want them to be right. He doesn't want not-going-to-the-Academy to be a good thing. He wants to be right. 

So he chickens out of it every time he goes for the phone, finding yet another reason to push it off. 

Until there are three positive pregnancy tests on the bathroom sink and he's barely twenty and they get married at the courthouse because they're desperate. 

They graduate at the same time and she's pregnant with triplets. 

He’s floored, because triplets? 

They have nothing, but it’s a beautiful life nevertheless.

They move to Cali and live in his parents’ old house. Bradley joins the Navy and she decides to start teaching. He refuses to ask for help, even when they struggle, even when he knows his family is less than an hour away. He also feels so guilty, because now there are going to be babies and he has a wife and it all seems so small in comparison. He doesn't care about the Academy anymore. All he cares about is her and the babies.

He doesn't know how to do this, how to be a father without the men who showed him what it is to be one.

And he's going to call, he swears he is…

Then his wife starts complaining about a headache that doesn't go away and her ankles are so swollen. 

He rushes her to the ER as fast as he can, but she has a seizure in the car that goes on for forever. She has eclampsia. She won't stop seizing. They have to do an emergency C-section. She's only twenty-three weeks. 

They lose her on the table, Baby A never makes it to the NICU, Baby C is born sleeping — there was something wrong with the placenta — and they ask him if he wants to try and save Baby B. 

Baby B, the smallest of the bunch, who has a severe form of spina bifida, a cleft lip and is barely a pound. 

Bradley says yes and plans for four funerals at the age of twenty-one. 

But Baby B doesn't die, he gets just about every dangerous complication for a twenty-three-weeker in the NICU, but he doesn't die. 

Mitchell Thomas Bradshaw — Mickey — named after the two strongest men that Bradley knows — comes home with him after seven months in the NICU. 

I need a Bradley who intimately understands what he's saying to Maverick, I need a Bradley who has had both of those things — a wife, kids — and lost them too. 

I need a Bradley who has lived a life in the interim and has grown up despite every challenge he faced, whose anger isn't really anger anymore. 

I need a Bradley who tried to call home once, only once, while his baby was dying in the NICU, and was told to stop calling after what he did by one of the Flyboys (probably while Ice was sick). 

I need a Bradley who has a deeper reason to be upset, who is angry at himself as much as he is at Maverick. 

I need a Bradley who has been raising a child for fifteen years on his own — one who gives him just as much back-talk and sass as he once gave Mav — who lost the person he loved most in the world and his children and somehow had to keep going. 

I need a Bradley who has become Maverick. 

That’s how that line makes sense anyway 🤣