#tw: ​unsolicited advice

[etherealising]

pt. 2 lol, so then after class he was like i didnt mean that to be disrespectful or anything, and idek what he was trying to say by that but like what the heck. like idk i just feel like that was rude and maybe im overreacting and being a baby about it, but like thats the second time that ive been embarrassed in front of the entire class and im really just over it. so im thinking of dropping, switiching profs, or switching languages. not having a good time its only week two wtf? sry for rant-<3

okay but no in my opinion i felt it was kind of disrespectful/offensive. i love you <3 anon but i am the worst person to have this conversation with. coming from someone who has changed their major TWICE and almost changed it last wednesday just because i was having an existential crisis i am absolutely not the person to ask about switching a class. because as soon as i get a bad vibe or i’m not having a good time, i am out of there so QUICK!

advice i can give you though, is to pay attention to add/drop dates with your school lol. but also sit with it for a bit to make sure changing/dropping that class is a good idea for you. also take into account if this is how you’re feeling now in week two how you might be feeling by mid-semester. but at the end of the day you’re old enough to know what’s best for you so i hope you make the best decision for yourself.

also eww yo didn’t even ask for advice and now i’m giving you unsolicited advice. legit ashamed of myself [please disregard]

anywho please keep ranting we’re besties and i love chatting with you!

[spoonielols]

[lilliths-httyd-blog]

I've got my pre-period bad feels and it's not doing me any good...

Anyway uh I crave engagement and interaction with other fandom members (normal caveman urge to interact with people I like who have interests similar to mine, so fair enough)... but like... I feel like I have to be constantly putting stuff out in order to trigger this engagement, which has thrown me into this really unhealthy cycle of "I must work in order to earn the ability to have conversations with people" basically. Like... "Nobody's talking to me, must be my fault for not posting a fic! What? I did post a fic? Oh, people just aren't interested in me anymore because I haven't been putting out work consistently, whoops, I'm just gonna be alone for a while now..." like that's where my brain is at rn and it sucks so much...

Comments on my fics are definitely slowing down. YouTube views feel like they're slowing down even though I know they're not. YouTube comments are absolutely slowing down. Notes in the tags/reblogs are too but that's because I haven't been writing many of my own posts recently because my brain is sleepy. Discord interactions aren't as down but it's just not the same, like it feels like friendships are just. Disappearing.

And I feel like it's my fault. Because I've been taking breaks from writing and video-making to interact with the real world and partake in other hobbies and have fun and GET OVER MY FUCKING PRODUCTIVITY COMPLEX WHEREIN WHICH I CHASTISE MYSELF FOR NOT BEING PRODUCTIVE 100% OF THE TIME AND IT'S ABSOLUTE HELL. Like bruh I went swimming, I baked cupcakes. I should feel good about myself but I don't. Because I haven't been posting as much recently. My art has become my means of 'earning' friendships and interactions.

I'm aware of how unhealthy and fucked this all is. I don't need advice (I've heard it all before). It's just another issue I gotta work through.

But damn, it would be nice to feel like I can actually fucking talk to people.

And I feel like all this wouldn't be as bad if I wasn't having pseudo writers/art block.

Also, I feel like it's my fault because I joined a new fandom and have been creating less for the old one.

[catboynutsack]

hi I hate fatphobia in medicine thanks for coming to my ted talk

[sasquapossum]

I know nobody asked for it, and maybe nobody here needs driving tips at all, but here’s one anyway.

If the person in front of you slows down, for a turn or anything else, you should slow down too.

This came up somewhere else, with another person trying to justify “absorbing the slack” (i.e. closing distance instead of slowing) to avoid getting rear-ended themselves. What a load of bullshit. I have two reasons for believing that.

Exhibit A: an intersection near me. It’s a pretty sharp turn, maybe 100-110 degrees, from a main thoroughfare onto a smaller “feeder” road for the neighborhood next to mine. It’s an turn that must be taken slowly, not only because of the sharpness but also due to the prevalence of both pedestrians and contractor vehicles “hiding” just around the bend. All the locals know this, but the commuters rushing toward I-95 or the next town beyond constantly “absorb the slack” like my interlocutor suggests. I’ve seen it cause at least two accidents in three years, though fortunately no injuries that I’m aware of.

Exhibit B: my one accident in the last ~30 years. I had signaled a turn into my own driveway. The driver behind me, also a local, saw and started to slow as well. The driver behind her was looking at his phone and plowed right into her car without slowing, pushing it into mine. No injuries, amazingly. The key point is that there’s nothing she could have done to avoid being struck. The bozo behind her was going to hit her anyway. If she hadn’t slowed to maintain distance, the only effect would have been for her car to have been pushed into mine even more violently, quite likely with more dire consequences - especially for her.

Anyone who tries to “absorb the slack” in these situations is just assuming that their reactions will be faster than those of the driver behind them (if not better than humanly possible) but there’s no reason to believe that. Well, that’s if they even believe the “trying not to get rear-ended myself” excuse, which I don’t believe is the case generally. It’s just rationalization. Anyone who has actually driven for a while is likely to have had an accident or at least a close call, and should have learned an important lesson. Even if you’re doing everything right yourself, even if your own reactions are so quick and so precise that you can avoid the obvious hazard, a bigger margin of error is still a good thing to have. Defensive driving is worth it, especially when you don’t see the necessity, because it’s always the thing you didn’t see that gets you.

[agayconcept]

hey, i really hope this doesnt come off the wrong way but you need to take a step back and reprioritise your costs. the people in your doctors office are the biggest assholes in the world but you shouldnt be using money on legal fees to go after them if it means you cant afford your rent.

actually, those funds are kept completely seperate, and i'm not intending to use any of it on some stupid lawsuit. i am however going to have to pay legal fees to have a legal representative advocate for me and my rights with this doctors office. because i cannot just up and leave 'the biggest assholes' there just bc it's financially inconvenient. because this office has 4 referrals in progress for me, a disability application in the works, and have all my records - some of which have not been completed/updated yet. and they are deliberately dragging their feet on all of the above.

so if i 'just don't bother' as you're suggesting, i would have to leave and i'd lose all those referrals and have to start completely over with a new office- which the wait list for is over a year. i would also have to completely restart the 3-6 month process for my disability application- which is the main financial reason i struggle with rent costs! because i'm not on disability and need to be! because i keep being discriminated against even outside this drs office.

(on a less important note, i would also have to wait until they finish updating my records before i can even register with another dr bc they wont have any correct/up to date info on them)

hence why i HAVE to continue dealing with/through this office even though i desperately dont want to - which means i have to have advocation, support and legal knowlege- which comes from a legal rep / organization / charity (which only provide free advice, you do still have to pay them to Do Anything). it is NOT something i can do by myself. cool for you (genuinely, no sarcasm intended) if you're able to get your rights respected or have the privilege to simply say fuck it and walk away- i do not. many people do not.

i think you may have misunderstood my intentions and reality here - this is not a situation where the abuse has happened, its over and im out, and therefore it is not worth legal hassle after the fact. this is an Ongoing Situation where i am TRAPPED dealing with this until i can get what i need (records, referrals, disability application) that is legally owed to me and is my right, but is instead being witheld.

so your suggestion, going with that, would be to either abandon or put off any and all healthcare progress (and my human rights, nbd) to instead pay my rent....which is something that, worst case scenario, i cannot be evicted for immediately. there is a grace period, its in the lease. they have to give us x amount of time, or offer us the option to split the payment. they only have to provide/allow that one time, but i havent used it yet so this could be that one time if i have to. (hence my notes earlier mentioning that the new building management seeming nice so hopefully they wouldn't be fussy abt it and would give us some time - bc as ppl on the internet often forget: my mother pays half the rent. i am not totally on my own here on that at least.)

look, i get that you may have had good intentions, but don't come into a situation you don't know the details and nuances of, and tell someone what to do with their money- especially when they're using it to protect their basic human rights. i didnt ask for anyone's financial or legal advice - so idk why you felt it was wanted, needed, or necessary.

like. you dont know the whole situation, i have (obvi) not shared all the details w strangers on the internet. you cant play financial advisor to a random person whose life you don't understand. idk why ppl think they can/should, rly.

anyway, genuinely for anyone on here: if it bothers you that much that my financial situation is incredibly complicated & messy due to a myriad of reasons, and that my scraping / surviving by might not be in the exact same personal fashion you would choose yourself?

you can ignore it or unfollow me, thats all good n cool.

if that wasnt your intention, and it just came across that way, then apologies for being short, and i hope the above explanation clears up the reasoning as to why i do, in fact, need to do certain things that i'm doing.

(for future reference: anons like these will be blocked. the only reason this one wasnt was because i knew it could have been a misunderstanding. but if it isnt, and anyone decides to send stuff like this, welp, its time for my best friend the block button to come hang out)

[enruiinas]

        Slouching back into his seat, Law gave an exaggerated shrug before he folded tattooed arms across his own chest. ❝ Then I guess you’d have a problem, ❞ he retorted simply. And if it were that insulting to have someone want to look after you, it looked like they were all in for five very long months.

        Something akin to annoyance settled inside the surgeon in the silence that followed Ikkaku’s heated outburst. A feeling, hurt and raw and uncomfortable, that had golden orbs glancing away in the moment it took to compose himself.

        When he thought he had, Law sighed and rubbed the bridge of his nose. Then he pushed away from his desk and stepped around the engineer, making his way toward the door in search of fresh air. Maybe they could all use a breather at this point - even if they had just surfaced the day before. Such breaks were becoming increasingly frequent with each passing week: perhaps they’d be better served staying topside entirely. Pausing at the threshold, he addressed the engineer without looking back.

        ❝ Look. I get what you’re saying. And I’m sorry it comes off the way it does, but it’s not some thing I can just turn off in my head. I’ll try to keep it away from the rest of you until this is over, but I can’t promise you’re not gonna hear about it. ❞

        Which made sense to him, too: that was perhaps the worst part of all of this. That he knew where Nami was coming from. That she needed someone to talk to that clearly couldn’t be him all the time. He knew where Ikkaku was coming from, too, and maybe it was selfish of him to want at all right now, but none of that changed how he felt about all of this, either. Maybe with a little time and distance, he could pack some of his own misgivings away to be addressed later - but that wasn’t likely until they reached the nearest island. They’d just have to make do until then, even if that meant a few nights apart in the meantime.

        And perhaps that should have been the end of the conversation, but Law could not stop himself from frowning as he made one final attempt to clarify his muddled thoughts.

        ❝ But just so we’re clear- I’m not deluding myself thinking Nami needs my help for a second. ❞ He knew exactly what the ex-marine was capable of- enough that it unsettled and reassured him all at once. She and Ikkaku could have a problem with him all they wanted, but he couldn’t stand back and watch them decide for themselves it was because he didn’t think she was capable. ❝ She could do this whole damn thing on her own and be perfectly fine. I know that as well as anyone. ❞

        And he did. Law had never doubted that she could handle this on her own if she wanted to. He just hadn’t expected it to feel like she did.

@horonomi ┅ [Heartverse || Unsolicited Advice] ┅ continued from discord.

[iinuyashas]

Repairing your relationship with food and acknowledging that you are susceptible to certain kinds of “wellness” marketing is amazing. Downside is realizing how many OTHER people have disordered eating patterns.

[revehae]

tw // noncon. yes its rape dont ask me no stupid fucking questions

yesterday (over a month ago technically) i couldn’t stop thinking about apologetic rapist haechan like ugghhhhhhhhhh

walk with me. this is a man you trust to have in your home, spending time watching movies and playing video games together in between your stressful lives… you’ve confided in each other about all of your problems, big or small, and chat about everything under the sun. you give him advice that he doesn’t listen to, then has the audacity to complain afterwards. he’s got a spare key to your place and you’ve got one to his, and all your boyfriends over the years feel like they have to compete with him, but the thought is ridiculous to you. compete with haechan romantically? it’s laughable. sure the guy has seen you half naked, but it’s not like that, you’re comfortable, you’ve never seen him ogle you or heard him make some unsolicited comment about your body that even strangers have made… why would anyone have to compete with haechan? he’s your best friend, nothing more, nothing less.

you’re not sure how you could’ve been so wrong. the way you see it, the haechan you thought you knew wouldn’t take advantage of how comfortable you feel around him, the fact that you let him share a bed with you every now and then. it’s not necessarily strange for his hands to wander around you, he’s clingy and unconsciously does it in his sleep, but it is strange for them to be so firm at your hips, nails digging into your skin, sounds that aren’t soft snores falling from his whiny lips.

confusion dwindles. betrayal stings your eyes. haechan sees it, too. he lifts his head up, tosses the hair out his face, and meets your eyes. there’s no arrogant shimmer to his eyes or smug smile to his face; the opposite. there’s shame and guilt and sadness, you want to think, and he beats you to a word, uttering, “i’m sorry…”

but he’s not sorry enough to stop. not even when you struggle against him, trying to wrestle your way out of his arms. you and haechan would play fight all the time, but you never realized just how strong he really was until you try to wrestle out of his arms and he pins your arms in place, whispering, “please. i don’t want to hurt you.”

but he would if he felt he had to. you’re in disbelief, the ugliest feeling festering inside your chest as it tightens so hard you can hardly breathe. when you beg him to stop, he says, “i can’t.” because you feel so much better than he’s ever imagined, and he’s imagined it a lot, and he just “can’t resist” himself. his eyes are misty, out of pleasure or out of shame, but either way, he needs to do this. he has to.

he can’t look you in your eyes. he can’t look at your face at all, really. he knows what he’ll see, the tears pouring from your eyes that gleam with a fierce blend of betrayal and despair and ire and disbelief. haechan doesn’t want to see you that way. having to hear your sniffles, knowing it’s all his fault, is bad enough. but in spite of the pangs of guilt that really do tear at his chest, he’s still in the middle of you, holding you in place, using your body for his own relief. so he just keeps his clasp on your hips, squeezing his eyes closed, and mutters, “i’m sorry…,” over and over and over again, hoping it’s enough. hoping that you’ll bring yourself to forgive him.

it’s not like it’s long before it’s over. haechan’s not proud of it but you’re all he’s been able to think about and it’s not like he’s ever hit a pussy raw before, if ever. you feel so filthy when he pulls out of you - his cum gushing out of your hole - and so broken. haechan says he’ll help you clean, but you’re rushing over to the bathroom and locking yourself inside before he has a chance to do anything. he hurriedly pulls on his pants and spends a long ten minutes knocking on the door, trying to get you to open it even after you scream at him to leave you alone, but he can hear the shower running from the other side. and he decides to leave you alone for now.

haechan tries to make it up to you, he really does. he doesn’t want you to hate him. you have to understand. your body was calling to him, enticing him, and he tried so hard but he couldn’t control it anymore. he’s gone when you return from a really, really long shower that you took in hopes of feeling less dirty, but to no avail. every bit of relief you feel at his absence, which isn’t much considering that pieces of him linger everywhere - on your sheets and in your aching bones and everywhere in between - fades when you hear the front door click open and he returns with your favorite takeout in hand. it’s his way of showing you that he’s still your best friend, that he still knows and loves you, that he’s sorry.

you’re not hungry. you have no appetite after that. haechan tries to get you to eat, but the second he comes near you, you flinch away from him. you never thought the day would come, but you are scared of him. he’s not the haechan you thought he was, no matter how hard he tries to convince you that he still is. you beg him to go, to leave you alone, but he doesn’t listen. he never does.

[cybertronian-reader-imagines]

How about someone who was recently turned into a Cybertronian and Team Prime tended to and comforted them? They have a lot of adjusting to do! 👀

TW: A bit of implied disassociation because, holy shit, suddenly you're a giant metal robot and that's kinda hard to wrap your newly non-organic brain around.

((Knock Out is here because there is not enough Autobot!Knock Out and I love him.))

Team Prime comforting Reader, who just got turned into a Cybertronian, would include...

Optimus reassures you from the first moment that you have a safe home with Team Prime, should you choose to stay with them. Of course, you do. He makes sure you have the time and space to adjust and be comfortable with your new body before jumping into anything. He's just there if you need him, which some days is more helpful than everyone's else's efforts to offer unsolicited advice right off the bat.

Bumblebee helps you adjust to having wheels by challenging you to races that double as training whenever possible. He is almost certainly going easy on you, but nobody ever tells you as much.

Bulkhead is the first to realize that maybe you just really need a damn hug right now, if only because he's not very good with words. He hugs you and reassured you that it will be okay, and you're amazed how warm and fuzzy you feel afterwards, even though you're fairly sure your new body doesn't actually feel such minute temperature changes.

Ratchet tries to be "comforting" by explaining how your new body works... in detail that goes way, WAY over your head. But eventually, you get him talking about Cybertron's history and culture, and realize that your two species aren't all that different after all, which helps more than an anatomy lesson ever could.

Smokescreen is quick to remind you that you don't have to go back to your boring human school/job/house/whatever. Depending on how much you liked/disliked your old life, this is either incredibly helpful or incredibly irritating. If you get upset with him though, he's quick to apologize, and it's hard not to be comforted by that well-meaning smile and a servo patting your shoulder.

Arcee might somehow be even more protective of you than she is of the humans - she knows what happens when bots overestimate how much they can handle, and she figures that's really easy to do when you go from being a tiny, fragile human to a giant robot. Sometimes it's hard to hear her remind you that you're still mortal, but she means well. "Okay Mom, I get it."

Wheeljack, like Bulkhead, isn't very good with words, but he's also not very good with affection. What he can do, however, is listen. He's there the first time you get frustrated with the rest of the Team - not because they truly did anything wrong, but because being cramped into a tiny base with people you've just met will irritate anyone - and he never breathes a word of what you vented to the others. The Wreckers had their spats too - he knows you'll all be cool at the end of the day.

Oh Primus help Ultra Magnus he doesn't have a comforting servo in his body, but at least he's honest about that. In fact, he's the best bot to go to when you're ready to have things less sugarcoated.

Knock Out doesn't understand what the fuss is about - why would anyone ever want to be a squishy, gross organic when they could be Cybertronian? Humans couldn't turn into cars, for one, and couldn't be polished. He gives you a fresh coat of paint and polish and tells you how much better you look now - it does help, in a way. Being able to pick out new paint makes you feel a little more like your new body is really your body.

But honestly? Your biggest comfort might just be Jack, Miko, and Raf, if only because they will remind you any time you so much as frown just how cool being a giant robot is. And then you remember, yeah, it is pretty cool, actually.

[hurtspideyparker]

Hi, sorry but could you recommend any of your favourite Peter Parker fics please?

For sure !!! *cracks open ao3 bookmarks*

Thirty Hours by polaroid15 - Peter doesn't take any breaks during a lengthy fight with the Avengers. The mind-melting fever that follows really should have been expected.

Hurt Peter Parker, my favourite tag <3 I love when Spider-Man is a badass and also lacks self-preservation. He's so cool fighting alongside the Avengers and we get some sweet hurt/comfort irondad!

Fitting In (Tiny Spaces) by aloneintherain - Peter's trapped beneath a collapsed building during a mission, hurt and unable to move. Luckily, his comm still works. Unluckily, the Avengers don’t realise how bad of a state Peter is in, and Peter isn’t inclined to tell them.

This fic is an icon in the fandom and for GOOD REASON. I just can not get enough of Peter Parker hiding his injuries. More heavy whump and angst!

All good things come in threes by Bergen - Peter has three secret identities: Spider-Man, the superhero who swings around the city to save people. Parker Benjamin, who gives Tony Stark unsolicited advice on his research. And NightMonkey, the Instagrammer who keeps uploading increasingly popular but embarrassing drawings of Iron Man.

And he can juggle them all just fine, thankyouverymuch.

Okay here is the fluff!!! Peter is a genius, a menace, and a sweetheart. Tony Stark runs into him (again and again) and can't help but have a soft spot for him every time. Funny and cute and an all 'round good time!

Held Together by Spiderwebs by TunaFishChris - Steve is not coping well in the twenty-first century. At all. Three months after the Chitauri invasion, he decides he's had enough.

But just as he's about to end it all, he runs into the new hero in town.

This one focuses a lot on Steve but I really like him and Peter's relationship in it, and I think this is great Peter Parker characterization. TW for discussions of depression and suicide, it gets a bit dark!

5 Times Spider-Man Saved an Avenger's Ass (and 1 Time They Saved Him) by TunaFishChris - this fic showcases how strong and capable Peter is, he's definitely a BAMF. I really like this genre where the Avengers know Spider-Man but not Peter Parker, makes Peter feel more independent and mature like in the comics.

Five Time Faculty Members Had to Call Peter's Emergency Contact + One Time He Shows Up Anyway, Five Times Tony Stark's Fabled Intern Just Showed Up + One Time He Was Invited, and Five Times Strangers Talked About Peter and Tony + One time Someone They Know Did by kingdomfaraway - I am just gonna recommend this entire series. Super fluffy, extreme irondad and spiderson. They're just adorable from an outside perspective and I love when Peter gets to just be Tony's intern and a teenager for a while :)

research and disaster by blueh - “So, uh, Mr. Stark definitely knows Roomba-Kid,” Becket says and discreetly tilts his head in the direction of the pair.

“Oh my god,” Jess says. She almost sounds gleeful. “Oh my god, he’s not just some random kid. He’s Mr. Stark’s kid.”

or: the interns at Stark Industries have some questions about Peter Parker. The answers aren’t quite what they expect.

I just love intern Peter mk? Let him be a kid genius and have fun!!! Fluffy and humorous, again with the irondad.

Captain, Oh My- Not My Captain! by uncouth_peasant - Peter swallowed hard before firing a web to swing into the fray. “Cap’s going after civilians. I’m out of time.”

Bruised and bloody men <3. Just Peter being a badass and getting beat to a pulp. Cool fighting, lots of Peter whump, and of course the Avengers being protective.

Good publicity by Bergen - Between Peter Parker barely speaking, and Spider-Man being the ultimate chatterbox, how was Tony ever supposed to figure out that they were one and the same person?

Tony Stark is secretly a softie for cute kids, especially when they're a genius and have a sense of humour to rival his own. Peter is a foster kid who ends up finding a home with Pepper and Tony, very sweet.

The Third Option by Uncertainty_Principle - When Ben is murdered Peter goes into foster care. It takes just a tiny taste of superpowers for Peter to decide he doesn’t want to put up with his horrible foster father anymore—the streets are infinitely more appealing. All he wants is to be Spider-Man anyway.

So he leaves, simple.

Simple, that is, until Iron Man needs Spider-Man’s help.

Heavy TW for this one, mind the tags. This is a popular fic and for good reason. A very mature and realistic portrayal of the foster care system and homelessness. The Peter angst is really great and I could barely put it down, that boy needs a hug so bad.

Now here's some hydra!Peter fics cuz they're my jam:

Peter is a precious chickpea by Bergen - They attack the HYDRA safe house shortly before sunrise.

The only people defending said safe house are Peter and Leo, and Leo slams his cell door open and starts spitting out orders, but then promptly gets clobbered over the head and keels sideways.

So that just leaves Peter. And he’s not even going to try to fight a whole team of Avengers. He looks up at Iron Man filling the doorway. “I surrender.”

He’s never been captured before and he’s not sure what to do. Escape, probably.

This entire series is PERFECT. I just love how adorable Peter is, and all the relationships Peter forms with the Avengers absolutely melt my heart. Peter's characterization in this is really unique and I wish there was more. The Bucky and Peter friendship is everythingggg. I love hydra!peter and bucky fics.

Indoctrination by phoenixon - The Avengers thought they were on a typical assignment: Infiltrate the Hydra base and find the weapon. What they didn't expect was the small boy raised by Hydra that they found instead. And they definitely didn't expect him to stay at Avengers Tower or how he somehow wormed his way into their lives. As for Peter, he just wants to be good and obey what the Hydra men told him so he doesn't get in trouble.

I just really love hydra Peter changing into a sweet and intelligent boy once he's rescued and safe, and how all the Avengers take up such heart-warming parental roles around him.

out there, living in the sun by Hailfire_73 - The Avengers rescue Peter from a Hydra base ran by his father, Richard Parker, except Peter doesn't really see it as a rescue, and has trouble settling into a new life away from Hydra and his father at the Avengers compound. OR - Peter learns how to be an actual teenager, live life, and put his abusive past behind him, and Tony learns how to be a father.

Hydra Peter but he's most definitely a traumatized and moody teenager. I really enjoyed Peter's character arc and the exploration of his trauma. It felt more realistic the way his journey isn't just a straight or clear path. He's more mature in this one and it was a really compelling read, balancing the angst with some humour and fluff. Loved the ending.

Tinker, Tailor, Spider by Bergen - Tony is roped into a mission to transport a teenager to safety. But when things go south, it soon becomes more and more puzzling who the teenager is and what ‘safety’ means for him.

I really enjoy that the author doesn't water Peter being hydra down. Yes he is a highly skilled assassin and a badass who's trauma pervades his every thought and decision. Made me fall in love with the Tony, Pepper, Morgan and Peter as a family dynamic. Super domestic while still highlighting Peter's troubled past.

[theresstillgrowinghere]

I don’t often find I have much to say during chronic illness awareness months anymore. I’m tired. My words feel tired. I don’t feel like I have anything new to add. Sometimes I worry though that that in part comes from my having been in various digital chronic illness spaces for almost a decade. Of course it feels tired to me. There are things that rattle around my brain that feel so obvious and commonplace (and that have been said much more eloquently by others before me) but may still be worth expressing, just judging by the ways people in my life haven’t been able to understand

So for gastroparesis awareness month this year, there are a few things I want to note from my experiences (tw for food/eating, weight without numbers, medical trauma)

1) My relationship with food is so scarred and multifaceted. It is messy and thorny, conflicting and complicated

(I am scared of food. I miss food. I hate food. I want to eat so badly. I never want to think about eating again. Tell me in detail about how it tasted. I love food. Please don’t ask me to join you for a meal. I don’t want to miss the communal aspects of eating. I feel so disconnected and other and separate just because I don’t eat. Sometimes I do try to eat and it makes me sick. Don’t comment on it, please; it’s not helpful to scold or encourage - I feel shame either way)

2) There is no cure. There is only management. I think people understand this in theory more than actuality, because when I say this I mean please, please stop expecting any management option to be The Thing. Please don’t expect something to offer substantial improvement, even if it is a life-saving dramatic change. As I have tried to explain to people in my life, those types of interventions are often complicated and risky and, in our broken healthcare system, very difficult to access until the situation truly is dire and life-threatening. Which can mean that the body takes significant damage before getting there. Sometimes by the time you access the intervention, that damage is irreversible and the goal is just to stop further decline. It’s not making me better; it’s keeping me from getting worse. For some reason that’s difficult for people to understand

(But sometimes people do find what for them is The Thing or are The Things, and that’s an important piece of the whole picture. The problem is the persistence of unrealistic expectations among people around us)

3) My relationship with healthcare is vital but fraught and heavy. I rely on it tremendously just to stay alive. It is also my only in-person access to the world and to people, which is a weird kind of mindfuck. But I am also deeply afraid of it after so many years of trauma. I am terrified of hospitals and medical professionals. I’m sorry for the way that fear makes me irrational, makes me assume, makes me protect myself. I know so many medical professionals are so caring and kind, but it is very, very hard to go into a medical setting trusting that that will be the case

4) There are some things I wish truly were obvious. Like don’t comment on someone’s weight, ever. Don’t say you wish you could “have a little of that” to change your appearance. Don’t try to convince me to “just try to eat a little.” Trust that I know my body best. Don’t offer me unsolicited advice or recommendations. Don’t say “when you get to be my age…” because I will point out that, based on the amount of damage to my body already, it is very possible I will never reach your age. But more to the point, I am not too young to be this sick. It happens

Anyway, these are my 3am-notes-app, camped-out-on-the-bathroom-floor thoughts. It is also important to note that they exist in the context of my gastroparesis being born of and coexisting with my other chronic illnesses, and they all become so deeply entangled

Wishing everyone well. Hoping your August is kind and gentle

To everyone with gastroparesis (and other digestive disorders, really), I’m sorry your tummy hurts, and no, you actually don’t need to be very brave about it. As I heard someone say recently in a different context but definitely applies here as well, “We weren’t born to be fighters. I don’t want to be brave. I want to be okay.” I just want all of us to be okay

[malachiteclouds]

🌟natal astrology observations part 1 🌟

✫ so many gemini moons I've known have a terrible habit of lying completely unprovoked, especially if their mercury is also in an air sign. however, I think it just comes from a place of playfulness and excitement rather than deeper deception or manipulation.

✫ people w chiron conjunct/square/opposite jupiter are unbelievably dogmatic if they don't make a conscious effort not to be. they have this air about them that screams "you will never fully understand a concept unless I am the one to specifically explain it to you".

✫ (tw: dv) every person w chiron conjunct mars that I've met grew up in a HIGH crime neighborhood or had a lot of DV in the home. especially if it is in the 3rd, 4th, or 7th house.

✫ the 12th house represents your experience in the womb. ex: jupiter in 12H probably had a very lovely time in the womb, mom probably ate all the right things, sang to you, and lots of love and warmth. mercury in 12H might've had a mom who was overthinking or maybe very stressed during pregnancy (if you are more interested in this idea, read The Development of the Personality vol 1. by Howard Sasportas).

✫ men with lilith conjunct/square neptune tend to have SUCH a skewed image of women/femininity. they tend to have crazy "post-nut clarity", they'll see women as completely flawless until they get off then they hate them with their whole hearts.

✫ you will 100% know if a person w pluto conjunct venus is in love with you or not. they will go to the ends of the earth to prove their unconditional love. for them, love has to cost something for it to count- there needs to be some type of sacrifice.

✫ sun/ascendant conjunct pluto are polarizing as all hell. you either love them or you hate them, and honestly, that is determined by where the overlay is for your chart- people project on them a lot.

✫ saturn in the 8th or 12th house are the types of people to spend their whole time inebriated/under the influence trying to convince other people they aren't faded. there's this weird need to prove that they have everything under control and can handle their shit. IMO, psychedelics would be pretty rough for them (or at least extremely transformative).

✫ venus opposite saturn feels immense dissatisfaction with indulgence if it has not been worked for. the type to play hooky and regret it the moment they call out.

✫ sagittarius moons are almost always louder about stuff they have no clue about than their area of expertise. always assumes you want their unsolicited advice and get upset when you don't 💀

[gauloiseblue]

Despicable Man

(Perv!Graves × Reader)

[Dead Dove: Do Not Eat | Adult Content MDNI]

A continuation of Oral Fixation

TW: power abuse, unsolicited filming, rape threat

A/N: I just watched S1 of The Following (it sucks), and warren kole just infected my brain with mean!Graves. I just have to write it down, or I'll die of brainrot. Again, mind the tags. Don't read it if it's not your cup of tea.

This is the fourth time you hand in your resignation letter, and the third time he rips it to pieces.

"Can I give you some advice?" He said with a sneer, "If you want my attention, you wouldn't get it by writing these letters. You're wasting your time."

A vein pops up on your forehead, and you slam your hands against the table.

"What's wrong with you?" You shouted at him, "It's not a game, Graves. I'm not playing whatever it is you're playing, I'm quitting!"

"Whoa." He lifts his hands in a mocking manner as he leans on his chair, "You talk to your boss like this?"

"You're not my boss." You hissed.

"Legally, I'm still your boss." He pointed out, and you swore you felt your blood boil, "So don't talk to me like that."

"You think I fucking care?" You spat, "You're not my boss anymore because I'm leaving. Sue me all you want, I'm not gonna stay in a company that threw my grievance letters into the trash."

"Watch your mouth." He warned you with a tone that made you freeze. "I can still punish you if I want."

You open your mouth to speak, before you decide against it.

"Where do you think you're going?" He called out when you turned your heel, before striding towards the door.

"I'm leaving." You retorted, voice dripping with venom.

"No you're not." He stated. "Sit down."

"I'm not gonna sit down and listen to your bullshit." You glare as you push down the door handle, "I've had enough of it, I'm leavi—"

Your feet come to a halt when you see a man standing outside the door, blocking your way out. You recognize him from his black mask and athletic build—he's the commander's guard dog, Graves' most loyal bodyguard. You instinctively take a step back, as the man slowly stalks toward you.

You rattle your brain as you try to think of the reason why he's here, and why he locks the door behind while his eyes stay on you. Until you hear a voice from behind—saying the same words you've heard before, only it's darker, more dangerous this time.

"Sit down, (Name)."

Your hands were seized by the man before you could protest. He drags you from the door, and to the large desk where his boss sits. His grip on you is so strong, that it's impossible to escape him. And when he pushes you down to your seat, you lift your head and snarl at the man across the table.

"What's the meaning of this?"

He tilts his chin in a mocking manner, before he rises from his seat and walks round the table. "What's the meaning of this?" He purses his lips as he pretends to think, "I don't know, you tell me."

You jeeringly scoff at his question, "So is this how you take care of your problems? By threatening them until they withdraw from the case?"

"Oh no, not at all, mon cher. In fact, I want to help you."

You look at him as if you're listening to a mad man's ramble, but he only smirks as he continues.

"You see, I've… reviewed all of the accusations that you wrote against me, and I must admit, you're good at using the right terms." He uttered, "But, you forgot one thing. To win a case, you have to have concrete evidence."

When he turns his gaze on you, you feel your blood run cold, as you catch the subtext of his words.

"And the video that you sent as evidence? It doesn't have my face, mon cher. How are you gonna convince them that it's me? That it's my hand that slipped under your skirt, as I cornered you against the counter? Mind you, it's merely a touch, it couldn't be counted as sexual assault."

A satisfied smirk spreads on his face, as he sees resentment begins to fill your eyes, as well as bitter tears.

"You're smart, (Name). I always like that about you. You stubbornly wanted to prove my wrongdoings, you even brought a hidden cam for it. It's a shame the angle was wrong." He leans closer to whisper in your ear, "And it's a shame that no one cares."

Your glare turns dagger as he pulls away from you.

"Now that it didn't work out, you tried to leave the company. Guess what, mon cher? You need my signature for it." You clench your fist when you hear him chuckle, "In the end, you still need me for your escape."

He lets out a derisive 'whoa' when you're thrown back to your seat before you could punch him. You struggle against his bodyguard's grip, while you scream at him.

"Fuck you, Graves. Fuck you and your arse licking dogs."

"Alright," He sighs as he flicks his wrist, "Shut her up."

Your protest soon turns into a muffled shout, as your mouth is covered by a big hand. You wince when the grip on your jaws becomes too tight, and you claw the arm that slings around you from behind.

"Where were we? Oh." He rummages through his pocket, and pulls something up. Your eyes widen as you recognize the two items from the clink of the metals.

"As I told you before, I want to help you. But my service doesn't come cheap." He sneered as he stood in front of you, "You know that, do you?"

You start to thrash against the man's arm, trying to get away from him. But he seizes your hands so easily, and you watch in horror as he locks the handcuffs around them. Leaving one and a half inches of space between your wrists.

"There we go." You saw him smirk, before your vision came to a blur for a second. By the time you realize it, you've stooped on the ground, with a sore pain on your knees.

The man had pushed you down from your seat, and you heard the heavy drag of the chair from behind. You raise your head to protest, but the word dies down the moment you spot the handycam on his hand.

"Say hi, (Name)." He grinned as he pointed the camera at you.

The dark lens reflects your face, wide-eyed, and mouth agape. If a picture could show a thousand words, then it must've captured the paralyzing shock of your stare.

"You're insane." You whispered in disbelief, while he placed the cam on the table.

"You keep saying those words, darling. But do you even know what they mean?" He bends down to check the device, "What's insane for you, (Name)?"

An immediate answer comes up from your thought, but it dies down the moment it lands on your tongue.

"No words to say?" He sneered, "Where'd that attitude of yours have gone, hmm?"

He slowly circles around you, with a hungry flare in his eyes.

"Now, where were we?" You heard him flout, before you flinched at the sudden pat on your head. "Oh, right."

He seizes you by your chin, which makes you shout at the rough treatment. The urge to spat at him comes up to a boiling point, until you see the prominent bulge inside his pants.

"As I was saying, I'll help you get clear evidence for it. My face is already in the video, so the jury will no longer have to guesswork." He said with a smirk, "Of course, it'll become invalid if we're just conversing, right?"

The sound of click snaps you out of shock, and you watch in horror as his belt slips out of the loops.

"It'll be easier for you if you comply. But if you don't, we can always do this the hard way." He spoke in a low tone, as he shoved down his pants, "Open your mouth, or I'll ruin that pretty hole of yours."

[kikyan]

Yandere Pomefiore Headcanons

TW/CW: Dark Content up ahead!! Yandere content specifically!! Themes will include but not be limited to, yandere, possessiveness, violence towards reader or characters, manipulation, mentions of stalking, obsession, etc. (I think that should be it but unless I'm missing something please do let me know!!) Please proceed with caution!!

DISCLAIMER: These are my interpretations of his/her/their persona and none of these is 100% accurate. I don't condone any of these actions in real life and all of this is purely fictional and should be taken as such! Underage characters will ONLY be given SFW headcanons, please respect this decision!

Banner made by @herestrish please don't steal my bestie worked hard on it and I love them so much :((

Vil Schoenheit

Beautiful Vil indeed, Vil is one of the characters who I feel relate to the most. His desire to be the fairest is rooted in the ideology that he has to work twice as hard for the praise that comes at no cost for Niege. Vil’s S/O would be someone who can see past that, maybe someone who can see the ‘ugliest’ parts of him but still want to be with him. Someone that can accept Vil for himself. With that said, he’s a manipulative, possessive, and overprotective yandere. 

It needs to be said that Vil is probably the most reliable housewarden here. I feel like he’s the type you should go to for advice because he tells it to you straight. He doesn’t sweeten his tone or downplay the situation to spare your feelings, he’s direct. The best way I can describe Vil and Neige is that Neige is cute, and Vil is hot. Niege is the cutesy persona, the kind and charismatic main character that you can’t help but root for in every situation. He’s literally the one who beats the villain with the power of friendship. Vil is a sophisticated and respected individual, the one who worked hard to get what they have, because of this. . .he’s often made to play the role of a villain. The one who is blinded by greed and stops at nothing to prevent the MC from getting what they want. That’s the role he plays. His S/O would be someone who sees past that, long story short someone who can respect and love Vil for himself rather than some silly persona he’s been pushed to play. Someone who can see Vil in the worst light but accepts him. You see the ugly but rather than shy away from it you learn to embrace it. 

I don’t want to say that he’s manipulative to the extent that Jamil might be, but he’s good with words. Pomefiore is a dorm that radiates beauty, not just physical appearance but how one carries themselves. This makes sense when in book 5 he talks to the others about skincare and even reminds Epel that ballet isn’t exactly a gendered sport. Beauty is how someone carries themselves, what they reveal when facing a tough situation, and how they view themselves and others, that’s beauty. If his S/O ever had a doubt, they would seek Vil’s opinion first. Of course, he knows more and his opinion is highly valued. His manipulation isn’t too complex but it follows the ideology that if a stranger gave an unsolicited opinion you won’t pay too much attention. Still, if a trusted friend gave it, you’d be inclined to trust them more. Under his guidance, Vil will slowly alter your mindset as well as your opinions of others. He’s Vil, he has a keen eye for these things after all. Vil says things straightforwardly so you know he’s being honest, that’s gotta count for something! So while it’s not a big thing at the moment, his words start to weave themselves into your conscious decisions. He’s not someone you would doubt, much less disobey. 

He’s quite possessive. In the way Jamil doesn’t want to give his S/O up, he can’t stand the idea of someone taking you away from him! Vil is quite infatuated with you, you see. The one thing he wants is standing right in front of him, he’s not letting his opportunity go by. He’ll start by conviving you to spend time with him. You’re failing your potions class? Vil can offer to help but it won’t come for free! The occasional fashion advice or skin care opinion, always offering to teach you the ropes and how to accessorize. Granted if you don’t ask for it nor actively seek it, he’ll never push his opinions onto you. If you do however ask for his advice, he’ll make a tight schedule that takes up your time and includes himself in the mix. Would he isolate you from others? No, but he would drop some side comments that might make you reconsider who you should be hanging around with. The choice is yours but he’s quite persuasive. He would never let Neige know of you, he can’t risk you becoming a fan or choosing Niege over himself. He just can’t let that happen. This ties in with his over-protectiveness, he’s by no means a pushover. With fame comes risk and Vil is more than qualified and prepared to ensure your safety. In the event that he does go public with your relationship (which he will), some crazed fan might send something to you! 

Overall, there are no traits that I can use to define how dangerous Vil can be as a yandere. Vil would probably force you to go through some rigorous training, anything that proves your loyalty to him. I think it’s what he values the most. Loyalty to him. Once you prove you can be trusted, Vil might start to expose bits and pieces of himself to you but don’t get your hopes up. Does Vil want to be worshiped? Yes, but he wants you to love him. It has to be you, nobody else can suffice. Nobody else sees Vil the way you see him and that’s what he wants. He wants your eyes to be on him, He’s in the spotlight and you’re the only member of the audience that he yearns for. Don’t let your gaze wander, keep your eyes focused on him. While it’s your attention and affection that he yearns for, he by no means will resort to groveling. He has too much pride (though maybe in extreme feelings and conditions, he may but unlikely at the moment) and I feel like it contradicts his ideology of working to earn. If it’s your affection he wants he’ll work hard and strive to gain. Do I think he may have a moment where he slips up? Yes, like in book 5, that wasn’t supposed to happen but it did. He had the idea of beating Niege at a dance competition but towards the end almost took his ass out. I feel like it starts to be futile, normal means of gaining your affection aren’t working, or keeping your love he may stoop down to using potions. Designed as ‘sharing’ snacks and drinks, he may slip in a potion that will make you agree or idolize Vil to a certain extent. He by no means will buy your love or use cheap tactics to earn it, but he may fall into a fear that you may leave him resulting in a potion to keep your love. 

Also, I realized that with these headcanons I don’t exactly highlight something that makes them unique, but I will start doing that with the remaining characters! Vil, what makes him unique is that he’s as suffocating as the poisons he makes. He’ll slowly start making his way into your life and cloud your senses. Anything and everything you do is for Vil. The air you breathe is for Vil. He demands absolute loyalty (as I’ve repeated countless times but I can’t organize for shit) and that loyalty is slowly woven into your routine. You use his skin care, you style your clothes a certain way because Vil told you. You style and accessorize yourself according to his recommendations because Vil is right. You act the way Vil would appreciate (in your eyes because I'm a huge believer they will love you for being you), and you are dedicated to him. The most unique thing about this is that it’s all according to Vil’s design. He managed to flip the table and make YOU seek him out rather than him doing all the hard work. 

These headcanons probably don’t do him justice but on the scale, he’d be an 8/10. It’s Vil, he would never show such unsightly behavior and I think that is where people would fall for it. If anything I think pomefiore is a dorm that can show multiple faces. They hold themselves to such a standard that at first glance, they could never do that! He excels at potions and poisons so he is quite a danger to others and his S/O. His manipulation is hidden under the guise that Vil is only helping you out. It’s Vil, sure some of the things he says might sound rude but he’s just being honest. His reputation does help him conceal his true behavior. His love is suffocating and overpowering. Surely you can learn to accept this ugly Vil as you would the beautiful Vil.  Not to mention, he’s clouding your mind to the point all you can think about is him (managed to save these headcanons because I thought the song Aishite X3 (I’m typing all that out) and how I personally feel Vil would relate to it on some form.

After editing these headcanons I came to the horrifying truth that this sounds like Nate and Cassie’s relationship in euphoria. . . shit. Oh! Before I forget, on the rope-chain-saw scale I think he would be chain. He isn’t one to restrict you physically, but he would restrict with you magic and potions. As I mentioned before, he’d try to manipulate you to turn the tables around, it would be you seeking him rather than him seeking you which would put him on the rope scale. Since he has a possibility of using magic to keep you obedient (rather than make you because he still wants you to make that choice) he would be placed on the chain, you can win back freedom (basically he has no use for the potions at this point) as long as you continue to prove your devotion to him! Okay, this time FOR SURE I’m done! 

Rook Hunt

This man scares me, he’s horrifying. In canon, he’s probably just a bit off-putting and he’ll be nice to you but as a yandere? That being said, Rook is manipulative, possessive, obsessive, and sadistic. Let’s get into it!

The biggest thing with Rook is that we need to see his reference material, he’s a hunter. That predator and prey dynamic is quite strong as we’ve seen in the beanfest event, he likes the thrill. Normally I’d say to run but he enjoys the thrill of that so start walking slowly. Let’s talk about his S/O, I try not to put too many traits because I truly like to believe that they prefer the personality of their S/O as opposed to anything specific but he’d be interested in his S/O. Their way of thinking and the way they carry themselves. We know he loves beauty and has no problem voicing his admiration, but when it comes to his S/O, his comments increase a lot. He loves the way you dress, the way you carry yourself, the way you write your name, and the way you speak, if you have any anxious ticks they don’t go unnoticed and he loves them as well. He’s very observant of any and all things you do, it’s scary. He’s like Kalim who sees the beauty and the good things, he just communicates them differently. To be honest, right now, Rook would make you love things about yourself that you hate or never knew about. As a yandere, that doesn’t change but his love increases by a lot. Tying this in with his obsessive trait, he knows everything. When you leave class with Grim, his eyes are on you. When you take a test and scratch your head, look confused (stuff you do basically), etc, he’s watching. He takes in any and all information possible. Things that are routine to you, he analyzes and takes great interest. Like a hunter studies his prey, he studies you just as well. Maybe at first, it was just something he does, but then it started to become extreme. If you take walks around Ramshackle and you feel eyes on you, it might be him. He doesn’t do anything other than stalk but that doesn’t make it any better. His eyes are ALWAYS on you. Taking in EVERYTHING. He’s extremely obsessive if you couldn’t tell.

Manipulative and this is also where I want to include his ‘unique’ trait. He will NEVER trust you. I’m like jumping a couple of steps but this will all make sense, promise. His manipulation isn’t like the others where they isolate you and try to make it seem like you only have them. It also isn’t something based on authority where they say, “I’m this so you should trust me” or where they use their fame to get you to comply (AKA blackmail). No, Rook takes on a different route. He’s a hunter and he’s always setting up bait but his reasoning isn’t always to prove your loyalty and love, it’s because he finds it fun. Like the Leech twins, you’ll have to be constantly on edge with him. It’s all about observing you. If you read yandere fanfiction, I’m sure you’ve seen prompts that involve the yandere placing the darling (you) in a situation where they can escape, but it’s secretly a test. With Rook, you’ll NEVER know it’s a test. You could stay put for three hours and Rook comes back saying he was busy. You realize then, you could have gotten help but you didn’t. Sometimes, he’ll leave you for 15 minutes and the moment you turn around to run, he’s there. You’ll either have to try to escape at every opportunity or stay put at every opportunity. He could send you on an errand, running papers to a teacher. Out of the fear that he’s watching even though logically he wouldn’t be in the office, you don’t say anything. You realize too late that it was a perfect opportunity to flee from him. This ties in with his unique trait.

He will NEVER trust you. In fanfiction when the darling has been ‘loyal’ (basically playing into their hands waiting to get the upper hand and flee) for some time ranging from a couple of months to years and the yandere assumes that they’ve finally given in. Yeah no, that’s not happening with Rook. You could be together for 10+ years and with 8 children, but he’ll NEVER assume you’ve given in. He’ll play the role and display signs that make it seem that he has but rest assured he hasn’t. He can be the perfect husband, and doting father, and just be a textbook family. You think you’ve planned well, surely after all these years he would believe your charade but no, Rook still keeps an eye on you. Not to mention, he has an army of 8 kids. He probably taught them to recognize signs and to snitch on you. Imagine you’re planning on leaving him but taking the kids and you tell them the plan but all these fuckers turned on you. Yeah, trust is something that comes hard with Rook (if you ever gain it), but this also ties in with the rope-chain-saw scale. He’d be rope. He enjoys the thrill of the hunt and I don’t see him as someone who tires of it. He’ll have some restrictions but overall, he wants you to be as free as possible. You won’t have any extreme restrictions or anything holding you back other than your fear of him. Funny enough, this brings me to my second point, he’s sadistic.

He doesn’t mean to harm you physically, but mentally he loves it. Physically, maybe but it’s not that common. He’ll find your scared expression beautiful and exciting, it shows how much you’re afraid of him. Of course, he wants your love and honestly, in a non-yandere setting, he’d be the perfect boyfriend. As a yandere, he THRIVES off the idea that he’s the biggest threat in your eyes. It’s the thrill of the hunt that makes that catch so much sweeter. Despite all the opportunities of escape (test or not), you don’t take them because of that fear. Any and all bait (escape or not because it’s mostly used to track your reactions) is meant to cause mental anguish. If you do bite he may inflict some physical pain but it’s not something that happens often. In the commissioned fic I wrote, you ran and Rook used an arrow to stop you. Yeah, he’ll do that again. He’ll treat you very well after (medical sense) but he’s not above harming you temporarily. I didn’t put him on the scale as saw, because he doesn’t want to take away your ability to run. Back to the original point, the mental anguish he causes is so much worse. It’s the way he will pamper you, loves you, gives you gifts, and speaks sweet words that make you melt away in a blissful state. You seem to forget that his eyes are closed on to you, he sets up traps that you may or may not recognize until after he appears to give you praise or punishment based on the result. You can’t read him and you can’t predict his intention so you live in fear. That’s what sadistic Rook loves, he’s the cause of your pain and fear.

Wrapping these headcanons, Rook gets an 11/10 on the yandere scale. I wanted to say 10/10 because he’s a danger but because he’ll never trust you he gets an 11/10. Escape really isn’t an option (unless you want to end it all but even then your snitch children might step in). He’s possessive like most, if not ALL yanderes. You’re his, trust me others will regret messing with you. I don’t think Rook would isolate you so he’s not possessive in that sense (like some of the yanderes) but he still wants you to be his and his alone. I don’t think he’d brand you (this brings up a tiny point how despite what you think he sees you as an equal and not as a pet because the mental anguish he causes is what leads you to make that dynamic) but if pushed to the point, he may and find beauty in something of his on your skin. He’s dangerous because he causes an INSANE amount of mental anguish (cater levels) but he can also be physical if need be. He’s always watching and his love is like an anchor, constantly weighing you down and making it hard to breathe. All eyes on you as he sees everything and anything, not to mention his unique magic? Yeah no, escape has and will never be an option. Honestly, I feel like maybe (since this isn’t canon and a yandere headcanon) the whole Pomefiore dorm might be in on it. I see Rook trusting Epel and Vil with you or knowing about you. They might even be the unsuspecting bait that Rook plants. If you thought one pair of highly trained hunting eyes was bad enough, imagine a dorm full of eyes that are trained to see people in the spotlight.

Epel Felmier

So starting right off the bat I’m gonna say what his unique trait is. It’s his appearance. Book 5 was about Vil trying to get Epel to see that his cute face was something he could use to his advantage rather than a disadvantage. So, he’s going to take what Vil taught him and put it to good use. Overall characteristics would include manipulative and overprotective, with a hint of possessiveness.

Finding a way to tie in his unique trait with these characteristics is simple but let’s get into it! Manipulating you and others is quite easy for Epel. Though he doesn’t like being seen as some dainty and petite individually, he’s more than content using it to get you and others to listen to him. You would probably lower your guard a lot more with Epel because it’s Epel. At first glance, I think most of us could push him away if things ever got physical. Which is why Epel doesn’t seem like a danger at first. Epel's gentle and soft-spoken nature is something so refreshing to be around with (especially after hanging out with Ace and Deuce) and is usually quite calming. Epel is sweet and caring, always minding his manners which are suited for someone in Pomefiore. He doesn’t need to do any extra work because you feel comfortable around him talking about your personal life. When something occurs, you may ask Epel for his advice or maybe just to listen (which he’s always down for). It’s different from the others because sometimes Ace happens to say things so bluntly and Deuce, while having good intentions, says things that just don’t work. Epel is a soft-spoken person who offers advice in a tone that doesn’t mean to criticize or look down upon. Finding ways to effectively get his point across without the need of hurting your feelings. You trust Epel so much and while he appreciates this, he knows it stems from his appearance.

I can see him slightly being annoyed by this at first until he starts to slip up. Imagine your surprise when Epel is single-handly arguing and fighting the students who made fun of you. Imagine your surprise when the sweet boy starts to act out, saying things you didn’t expect to leave his mouth and just starts acting different. It’s total whiplash. Once he’s gotten your trust and you start to reconsider, his appearance comes to the rescue when you start accusing Epel of things he’s done. Honestly, I can see Vil and Rook stepping in if things get serious but most of the time his good looks do the talking. What do you mean Epel scared you? He grabbed your wrist and left a nasty bruise? That doesn’t sound like the Epel I know. Did he say all those mean things to you? Are you sure? Epel doesn’t speak like that! Suddenly, he’s making everyone turn against you for speaking out against him. How scary is Epel?

I want to include overprotectiveness and possessiveness together because they go hand in hand. Epel loves you and he’d fight for your honor! It’s quite cute, brave, and courageous to see someone of a small stature standing up against the bad guys. He was raised on the principle of treating everyone with respect and you’re no different! His possessiveness ties in when others try to steal you away from him. No doubt looking down on him because of his size and he needs to show them who’s boss! Well, he sounds tame, so what’s the big issue? Ladies and gentleman, it’s a power dynamic scale we have going on. See Epel is so used to being seen as someone small and petite and while he appears that way to his darling, he has the ability to remind them who is in charge. Though I don’t see Epel as being someone to get physical with you off the bat, there are times when he sees it as his last resort (and by last I mean he tried one other option and gave up). Considering he has a short temper, it’s more often than not. He can be like Ace who says some mean things and basically degrades you but no point in telling anyone because it’s not like anyone would believe sweet Epel would say that. He can pose a threat and when all else fails, start resulting to hitting you to keep you tied to him but again no use saying anything because who would believe you? Granted, there is only so much he can hide behind leading me to a small point, I think Vil and Rook would encourage his behavior.

Vil would dislike the way he’s so rough with you but he did gain your trust with that pretty face of his. Rook would find it amusing. Honestly, he’d feel the same when he thinks you shouldn’t be too rough with your darling, but Epel is a stubborn one who doesn’t accept defeat. In the rope-chain-saw scale, he’d be split between rope and chain. Honestly, like Rook, you start to grow a fear of Epel. While most of the time he’s his usual self (the one you came to love), saying the wrong thing could set him off and spell disaster for you. It’s like walking on eggshells for your safety. So at some point, Epel has no need for too many restrictions but Vil encourages him not to slip up. Not to get too cocky and assume he’ll always be at the top because an unssuspecting person came come and steal you away. It’s as if they’re trying to make him worse than he already is, resulting in the border between chain and rope. Depending on what happens and how he feels, he made add too many restrictions and he’s always inconsistent with them, but most of the time he’s a rope. Doesn’t feel the need to keep you caged and away when you already know the consequences that await you.

Epel overall isn’t too dangerous, maybe a 6/10? His behaviors can start to get predictable but do be careful with that face. He may even stage a situation where you’re the one hurting precious Epel and onlookers judge you. How could you come to hurt someone like Epel? Surely he didn’t pose too much of a threat. Though, while he physically is strong and has a quite short temper, his behaviors can become routine and easy to follow. He’s really only a danger more than Deuce because he would have the help of Vil and Rook. I’m sure that over time you could turn the tables on him and either fight back or paint him to be the villain he is. He’s truly like the poisoned apple, beautiful and tempting on the outside but rotten to the core.

[etherealyoungk]

chef!mingyu part three

// tw: blood // cw: suggestive, kissing, mingyu being an annoying ass but <3 // here's chef!mingyu part one and two, part four // maria literally jail for you for sending these pics to me because they're literally perfect for this part hshs but JAIL

doesn't it suck to have the person you hate on your mind constantly. expect it wasn't exactly hate with mingyu. it was more how you just refused to believe you were attracted to him that made you think about him even more. not to mention you were rivals in business, so you didn't want to do anything stupid.

it's been a few weeks and you as much it pained you to admit, you did wish mingyu stopped by but he hadn't in the last few weeks. and just as you were locking up and about to leave, you see a familiar figure strolling inside your restaurant - mingyu.

"what do you want?", you ask coldly, tired from the long day. "now is that how you greet a friend?", he asks, crossing arms over his chest. you noticed how the shirt he was wearing just hugged his body and arms, showing off his biceps. and he was wearing glasses too. fuck he looked so hot tonight. you cleared your throat before speaking.

"im tired okay, what's up?", you repeat. "just came for dinner", he prompts and you're lost. "sorry what? we're closed", you say. "did someone forget they owe me lunch and dinner? how ungrateful", he says, shaking his head with a scoff. right, you promised him you'd treat him for letting you crash in his place.

"right...what do you want?", you ask. "i want you to cook me something that you love to eat", he asks. "i'll buy you something how's that?", you bargain. "no can do baby. or do you want the whole world to know that you're dying to sleep with me", he asks with a raised brow making you narrow your eyes at him. "you're such an ass", you mumble, purposely nudging your elbow into him as you walk ahead.

you lock up and mingyu would drive you back to your place where you decide to cook your favorite pasta for him. it was simple, easy to make, and super yummy too. mingyu would hang around in the kitchen as you started cooking, and maybe give you some unsolicited decor advice, making you roll your eyes. and you notice how mingyu's hands would just automatically start helping you gather ingredients or things - i guess that what happens when you cook for a living. you'd have to smack his hands off, telling him you'd manage making him pout.

he'll lean back on the other end of the counter as you stand chopping some vegetables and doing some prep for the pasta. "so did your ex pay you a visit again?", mingyu asks, looking at you keenly. "that idiot did come in the morning again, and was asking where you were", you say. "what did you say?", "nothing, just that you had work", you add. "but i don't think he'll come again, hopefully", you add.

"was he good in bed?", mingyu asks, likes it's the most normal question in the world, catching you completely off guard. "excuse me? what kind of question is that?", you say, looking at him. "what, can't i know about your loser ex? i'm guessing he was pretty shit seeing as you've been dying to sleep with me", he adds with a smug smirk. as he pushes his glasses up. "what- firstly i am not dying to sleep with you and secondly i don't see why that actually matters to you", you say, getting annoyed. mingyu did an excellent job getting on your nerves.

"yeah so he was shit in bed", mingyu concludes when you avoid the question. "fuck you mingyu", you say, giving his a side eye. "oh, so you want me to? i'll gladly do it, just ask", he says nonchalantly. "like you're that good in bed either", you mumble to yourself but obviously mingyu heard you.

"is that a challenge baby? do you want me to show you", he asks with a raised brow. "whatever oh my god, just let me cook", you snap back at him, getting your focus back onto prepping for the pasta.

after a few seconds of silence, mingyu speaks up again. "baby if you need help, i'll be more than happy to. it feels awkward just standing here doing nothing", he asks again. "firstly, my name is -", you start, looking up to glance at mingyu. and maybe it was because you looked away for a second or because you were tired, your hand slipped and the knife sliced your finger. "OW", you yell, dropping the knife on the counter as you clutch your finger to your chest.

mingyu would be by your side in an instant. "what happened?", he asks and he gets his answer from the drops of blood on the countertop. "shit", he mutters. he can tell by the way your finger is bleeding that it's deep and bad cut. "where's your first aid kit", he asks urgently. "top shelf on the right", you mumble. he'll clear the countertop, pushing all the ingredients and chopping board to the side to make some space for you. you feel his hands on your waist as he gently hoists you up so you're now sitting on the countertop.

"here, let me see hm", he asks softly. you open your hands and hear him take in a sharp breath. it was pretty bad. you had cut not one, but two fingers and they were pretty deep slices, ouch. he'll wipe your finger with a wet cloth first. then he'll dab the disinfectant on, and you close your eyes because it burned like shit. "oww it hurts", you whine. "let me do it, i can manage mingyu", you huff but he won't let you. "don't - just let me help you".

he'll clean your other cuts and it just burns so bad you end up leaning your forehead on mingyu's shoulder, as he's standing in front of you. he'll gently bandage your fingers and make sure you were all okay. "done, you okay baby?", he asks as you're still leaning your head against him. "hm", you manage to say. you lift your head up but you're still so close to mingyu, you gulp as you look at him. "sorry, i guess i was just tired", you tell softly. "you should have told me, we could have done this another time", he scolds. "i owed you though", you mumble, looking down. and i wanted to spend time with you.

"i'll be okay, it's no big deal", you add and you're hyper-aware of mingyu's hands resting on your thighs as he stares at you. "you're really stubborn you know", he adds making you scoff. "stubborn? me?? have you seen yourself, you're so fucking cocky about everything", you counter. he won't say anything but he did love seeing you all feisty, he thought it was hot. "what can i say, i like being the best in everything i do", he counters, giving you a little smirk.

and you can't take it anymore. you couldn't take his stupid smile and how stupidly attracted you were to him. you couldn't take the tension anymore, so you just grabbed mingyu by the collar of his shirt and pulled him forward, kissing him. he would be caught off guard for a second but he'll smirk into the kiss, kissing you back as he moves his lips against yours. his hand moves up to cup your cheek as your fist where you held the collar of his shirt tightens, feeling giddy with the kiss. you pull away.

"we shouldn't be doing this", you say breathlessly. "give me one good reason why we shouldn't", he responds as he captures your lips again, his other hand going to wrap around your waist, pulling you closer against him. "fuck...because we're rivals and i'm supposed to hate you", you mumble between kisses. "let's just screw that and start over", he says. his hand goes to remove the glasses but you stop him. "don't, i like how they look on you", you say, looking at him as you bite your lip. "oh really? how does it look on me?", he asks, fully knowing the answer but he just wanted to hear it from you. "makes you look so fucking hot", you mumble against his lips, kissing him. he starts to kiss your neck, making you gasp as your eyes flutter close. he leaves a trail of soft kisses on your collarbone. "m-mingyu", you whisper. "hm tell me what you want baby", he groans softly, kissing up to your jawline as you grip his arm. "you're so annoying", is all you can manage to mutter as he kisses you again, kissing you with such passion making you dizzy.

you don't know how you made it to your bed, as mingyu hovers over you, his shirt thrown somewhere to the side. but your mind is too fuzzy to care anymore. you look at him, his lips pink and plump from all the kissing and his pupils dilated. his cheeks flushed and his hair falling over his face as he looks down at you. "i'll fuck you so good that the only name you'll remember is mine", he taunts, whispering in your ear before kissing you again, his hands roaming your body as you sigh into the kiss.

and when you wake up in the morning, you're tangled in mingyu's arms. but only this time you remember exactly what happened the night before. you stare at mingyu's face as he sleeps soundly and you wonder what was going to happen now. what were the two of you?

do we want part four?

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