#tw jesus

[aroacesafeplaceforall]

Warning this post is not to offend anyone, it’s a silly goofy guy

[owomon]

as a kid i enjoyed the Precious Moments toys but I completely forgot that they are an openly religious company and I googled it and found the website and saw this and i was fucking blindsided

there's two of these figures, and white jesus aside, the juxtaposition of a realistic (rather stoned looking) jc next to the anime eyed characters is .... *chefs kiss*

[spoonielols]

[castielsprostate]

y/n: jesus... i think i'm- trans

jesus: it is done

y/n: wow...... i have a tits anddick now! thanks jesus

[itsheckinwes]

I've got a question I need a Jewish perspective on. Is the biblical story about Jesus cursing the fig tree antisemitic? I've seen some people claim that it's against israel and not necessarily Jewish people specifically but I haven't come across any Jewish sources.

Shout out to the post I saw somewhere in response to wizard blood libel game being antisemitic teaching me the connection between figs and Judaism. Never would have thought there was any meaning to the cursing of the fig tree otherwise.

Also is the bit about Jesus "cleansing the temple" of merchants playing into antisemitic stereotypes too?

Non Jewish people reblog please!

[0luna123]

Miguel: I am disgusted, I am revolted, I dedicate my entire life to our lord and savior Jesus Christ (The Spider Society), and this is the thanks I get?!

[burningkingpeach]

Fun fact: Hell doesn't exist. The world is yours and you'll only get to exist once so do whatever you want and stop wasting your time worrying about weird religions holding you back from happiness. Touch yourself. Be gay. Get an abortion. Change your gender. Have premarital sex. Read Jesus x Buddha fanfics and get freaky

[allthebestscreennamesaregone63]

[nonbinary-wyvern]

Ok so this is a rant.

I was with my birth family today and the topic of war came up. My mother said how "Before Jesus comes, there is going to be war and rumors of war." I said how I thought that was stupid, how people have to suffer such vile pain just for Jesus to be like "Haha you should've believed in me like look I made you suffer and you could've found solace in me." And my mother said "Well we have to go through pain to get better."

I don't even know how to explain how angry I was?? Like, you are excusing and downgrading the horror of war by saying that it's "Jesus's plan". These people, beautiful and complicated and precious humans just like us, are going through the most painful thing ever to happen to a human, and you are just going to say it's because Jesus wants us to be better? Children and elderly and disabled people have to suffer? So they can be redeemed? What the actual fuck is wrong with you?

Free Palestine. End this fucking war.

[yellow-lemon-lime]

I love how some people who celebrate Christmas complain about the "Christmas-bustle" and "gift-race" and all that, like do they not realize that Mary and Joseph were forced to flee with Jesus because the king had ordered every boy under 2 to be murdered. Panic is the essence of Christmas

[qwertyisqueen]

the worst take I’ve seen today is that Spock is an analogy for Jesus in Star Trek: the motion picture

[struggling-to-find-home]

Honestly the fact that I turned out somewhat well adjusted after all of the shit I experienced is the biggest miracle since,, idk,, the birth of Jesus

[tenpixelsusie]

[sweatandwoe]

SWEATY !! We need to talk about the finger movement that Copia makes during the rituals when he sings the part "I will tickle you internally" from Mary on a cross BECAUSE I AM NOT OKAY

Okay, I went to go look for a gif of this, instead I found a shit ton of glitter jesus gifs

like you know those blingee gifs, it's that but jesus dying on the cross, lemme grab two

who made these

[castielsprostate]

nailing jesus to the cross but the cross is my dick and i am nailing him

[honey-bell-aint-well]

@orisretr0 @scooburst @yaaboi-jay

every year around christmas me and my grandma play this fun family game called “maybe you want to put jesus in your room instead, sweetie? :)”. now, it’s important to note that the jesus referred to in our game is not actually the real jesus christ, but instead a wooden figure i made in 2011 that has an uncanny resemblance to the lord and savior himself

so what happens is that i place jesus in our living room, and my grandma smiles and asks me if i don’t want to decorate my room with him instead. i ask her in return if she thinks my jesus figure is ugly (which he is), but she reassures me that this is not the case. however, a couple of days later jesus mysteriously disappears from our living room, and appear in my room instead

now, the real jesus christ might have been able to perform a miracle like this, but please remember that the jesus in our story is only a figure made out of wood. he can not move on his own, so i think we can safely say that my grandma is the prime suspect here

the first year i would often confront my grandma about this, but she would always make up an excuse and never straight up tell me she moved him because he’s so ugly it’s an embarrassment to the family

eventually i grew tired of her lies, so now we only move jesus around in silence. one second he’s in the living room, the next he’s back in my room. in a way i think this adds an extra element of excitement to the holiday season, because you never know for sure when jesus is going to be moved again