#tw unalive mention

[honeypleasejustkillme]

a toxic part of me hopes everyone who has neglected me will feel guilty after i unalive

[aobabes]

Y'all, it's about that time again.

{part 3, part 2, part 1}

[fangirlanxiety74]

Well as I prepare to post about OCs and AUs and whatnot, giving y'all a treat by talking about my interpretations/headcanons of IHNMAIMS characters!!! Starting with Gorrister because my OC connects back to him oops!!!

TW: Attempted Unalive mention, Abuse mention. It's not huge/detailed but I still want to warn y'all incase!!! Under cut!!!

-

So with how I interpret him, I guess I mean by like. How I see his backstory and how that affects what happened to him canonically in the story? Very obviously he was apathetic, a "shoulder-shrugger," someone who just became a husk of themselves. As for what happened that caused AM to make him like this. We of course have how he was a peace activist and someone with strong justice and morals; a pacifist. But I'm going further than that to explain the why's of how he became a pacifist.

Personally, I think he just grew up in a good home and a good community. Like, one of those small neighborhoods that were really supportive and helped one another out all the time, everyone knew everyone, etc. He was taught growing up to be kind, help your fellow man, be good to animals and nature, etc. And it just stuck with him, especially once he grew up enough to learn the reality of how the whole world isn't like that at all. Which is probably what inspired him to start becoming a peace activist; he got the privilege to have a good life, but it shouldn't be a privilege; others deserve that, too.

As far as his adult life, I do like how the game gave him a wife, and I want to keep Glynis in mind for his backstory. I think they met at a soup kitchen volunteering together!! It was a really sweet and romantic relationship, the kind everyone would see and tell them how perfect they are for each other/how they wished they had a love like theirs. And for the most part it was, but. In my mind, Glynis unfortunately did have trauma and Gorrister really did not know how to navigate it. But he tried his best. Because he really did love her, you know?? And she appreciated it, even though it was hard for the both of them.

I don't think he's ever put a hand on her, that part of the game I don't acknowledge (I also don't acknowledge him being a truck driver? I think he just travels a lot as an activist). But I do think that. What happened that caused the whole "I didn't make too much noise, did I honey?" was that. Gorrister was unreachable/wasn't home during a time when Glynis really needed him, and that caused her to try and attempt to unalive. And when Gorrister found out, he was so ashamed and guilty that he wasn't there for her he jumped the gun and put her in electroshock therapy, thinking it would help (this would explain the game in putting him in a shock cage, which I think this is what the game implies anyways? I don't know I got this idea from a fanfic I really like).

But given that what he did in trying to help his wife, only to make her even worse, AM took that opportunity to just really drive it home what he's done and make it out as all his fault. I don't think AM just rewired his brain, I think AM took the information he knew about Gorrister and just beat him down until he was at his lowest. And once he was at his lowest, AM took his heart (literally) and the rest of him is history.

Idk if any of what I said makes any sense but like, oh well!! That's what I think happened to him :)!!

-

Other random headcanons:

I think, in modern era, he would really love the game Undertale. I have a whole ramble on this alone but I think Undertale is like, the perfect type of game for him. Especially with the whole "Despite Everything, it's still you" line and how the literal mechanic is to be merciful. I think his favorite character would be hard to choose but maybe Frisk.

If I had to assign him a FNAF character, it'd be Foxy

I do support the idea that he's from the south! Him and Ted being southern buddies is just a silly idea to me

This is maybe out of left field but I think at one point he wanted a child but Glynis didn't due to not being in a safe place mentally to take care of one and he respected it.

But in that case maybe they owned an animal!! I think he really likes animals.

The reason he's so good at telling stories is cause he would tell stories to the kids he'd help out during his time as an activist! And in turn, his mom would tell him stories to help him sleep at night when he was younger!

I think in modern era, despite how I said he would like Undertale, he would have no idea how to work technology. The only reason he knows Undertale is because someone else told it to him

Haha yeah anyways this is super long i might give out more headcanons later but uhhh oops!!! Hope y'all like reading this <3

[gashface]

While this might be a sombre post, I want to just take a moment to talk about something.

Today marks the day/ 5 years since I tried to unalive myself. Sometimes it's scary to think about and sometimes I still do get the tendencies. However, for the first time in a very long time, I can confidently say, I am happy to be alive.

The friends I have, the growth I have made makes it all worth it in the end. While I won't ever be mentally "well", it is nice to finally be thankful that I am breathing.

- Buddy

[same-pic-rick-roll]

Anyways I think kids are loud and obnoxious, so I support abortion.

Unalive the babies before they become annoyiny.

I run a family-friendly blog, hence lack of swearing.

[nezu-mi]

the fact that social media censorship has been done in such a way to successfully make people believe that not using words and phrases such as "suicide" and "sexual assault" is for tHe ChiLdRen's SaKe!!1, or to protect people from triggers instead of appealing to advertisers is insane

it has created such a sterile environment for the sake of monetization while simultaneously (in my *personal* opinion) diminishing the impact and importance of such words to mere jokes in some instances

[traumatizeddfox]

im just saying if i killed myself it would solve all my problems

[the-entity-down-the-street]

I want to talk about suicide. Wish we could have more open discussion of suicidal ideation without getting shut down by goddamn search engines going "are sure you're okay??? Here's the suicide hotline!! Also we won't show you anything related to this search because it's triggering and might encourage you to self-harm!!"

Like no bitch I'm not trying to die, I'm trying to open a dialogue about suicide rates in the trans and autistic community you stupid fucking algorithm.

There's a societal squeamishness around suicide that definitely plays into why it's treated like this. Social media censors it, forcing sanitized language like "unalive yourself" because it's more ad-friendly.

Of course, hiding it doesn't discourage folks from attempting. All it does is add more stigma around suicidal thoughts, and that keeps people isolated.

There's also not enough discussion about what happens when you *recover* from suicidal ideation, and have to live with the lingering scars (psychological and physical) of it. Like, when we talk about recovery, it's always about how much better things are, how you get your life back, etc. And yes, that's important, but like most things, recovery is more nuanced as that. For me it feels like being haunted by my own ghost. It's eerie, and sad, and I'm angry about the childhood I lost to abuse and depression. It's a whole second phase of suicide recovery that I never see conversation about. Not to mention that my idea of "a future" getting stretched out by a few decades is disorienting.

We deserve to be able to talk about all this. Sorry a good chunk of my life experience isn't monetizable, or ad-friendly, or suitable for all ages. It's still worth talking about.

[same-pic-rick-roll]

Baron von Schnitzelheim the Petdrinker

He is a rich man, and a vampire

He is most famous for his hobby of using hamsters, rats, and small dogs and juice packets, often as their helpless owners watch.

This bas made him many, many enemies among the commoners, but he avoids angering those in power, so his status protects him from would-be avengers.

He enjoy children screaming.

Schnitzelheim was slain when some burglars broke into a home. This hom e had a small dog the vampire baron was going yo drink

Upon recognizing him, the burglar stated “you asshole! You killed Lassie when I was ten.” Whereupon a hammerblow to the head killed the vampire

This burglar was then found by the neightbors, and after some quick thinking, the burglar went from “burglar” to “public-minded hero who protected a stranger’s innocent pet from a menace”.

===

“Honestly? I think human blood is disgusting, so i dont drink it. Its odd that so many of my fellow vampires donit. Animal blood is tastier. I prefer rats, hamsters, dog, and cat blood.

Pets make for much better food. And the people screaming as i drink their pets blood provides free entertainment!”

Diary except from Baron von Schnitzelheim the Petdrinker

Wanna hear about my OC?

WAIT WHAT YOU HAVE AN OC???????????

YES ABSOLOTELY GIVE ME ALL THE DETAILS X3

[respondedinkind]

Headcanon: Khan's mind (Main Alien Verse & MCU-Alien Verse)

It is mentioned very briefly in Khan's bio, but only 'grazed upon' so to speak. It's also mentioned in a few other posts here and there, scattered along headcanons and muse-ish things, but:

Khan's mind is incredibly powerful.

Heads up: This information cannot be known by any muse, with a few exceptions being made (for example, by muses who possess a powerful mind of their own, they might sense that Khan is different / powerful, or by muses who can do magic and see his aura being of different kind etc - but they would only know that, nothing more, no details).

While Khan does not possess the ability of reading another one's mind, or do tricks such as telepathy, or to take over someone else's mind to control them, he can do other things.

Back on his home planet, he was bred to be superior; His abilities were honed from the very beginning and his mind sharpened for what leads his kind to success most of the time. Not only is Khan incredibly intelligent, he is also meant to use his mind to kill.

In fact, the division he was meant to become a part of are the specialists in that regard - elite soldiers who conquer for their rulers. Next to physical combat, being so much stronger, faster and more resilient than most of their opponents, they also use their minds to gain the upper hand in what is known as a 'dirty technique' by nations who are aware of his race and the great devastation they bring.

Here is one part of what Khan can do, and what highlights the strength of his abilities:

Khan can, in theory, basically 'drill himself' into another person's mind; He grants himself forceful entry by sheer willpower, no need for any physical connection. Holding intense eye-contact during the whole act intensifies the sensation and makes it easier for him to do it, but it's not needed. However, once that intense eye-contact is established, and once he's managed to first enter another person's mind, they won't be able to disconnect from his own gaze (unless they are extremely powerful and have abilities of their own that would be able to make it happen)

Once inside another person's mind, he can force his way to the very core. Not many know about it, but a body does not live without it being connected to the host (the mind, also called the soul) that drives it. Khan can find said core, the most vulnerable part, and he can break it, which results in instant death to whoever he is doing this to.

'Fun' fact: This is actually the last 'test' he needed to go through back on his home planet, the one he failed: Because of him not having successfully disconnected himself from his own emotions, killing another individual caused him great stress and took a toll on his own brain. Heavy nosebleeds are a indicator for such to happen, and one cannot control them - so, despite Khan managing to kill the person he was meant to kill, he was deemed a failure because of his nose bleeding, meant to be executed - that is when he managed to fight his way out and flee from his home.

Next to that, Khan's mind is powerful in other ways: It's extremely good at blocking off intruders, so in case someone wants to enter it, it will be incredibly hard for them to do such. It's fierce and trained to withstand a lot of torture, and it takes a great amount to break him and gain access (in his main Verse, Alexander Marcus managed to do that; One can assume how much force it took and what it did to Khan in return)

For MCU verses and muses: His mind seems to be able to do some 'tricks', in a way, which he is also quite unaware of; With how powerful and unique said mind is, it might be able to connect to certain kinds of magic in ways, leading to some... interesting things happening. Not always, not all the time, but under certain circumstances Khan himself is (mostly) not aware of.

Happened in another thread, but is very much canon: In case someone uses a spell or any other technique to look into Khan's memories, his own past self - which is a literal memory and therefore everything that can be seen has already happened in the past - can realize that someone does this to him and, in rare cases, interact with whoever watches. How this happens is unclear, as it should not be possible; Whether Khan's future-self remembers that interaction happening or not depends on a case-to-case basis. It shows, however, that Khan's mind is made in a way that's probably impossible to explain, able to break 'the fourth wall', so to speak.

All of that being said: As much devastation as Khan's mind can bring, as much as it can cause death, this is only the result of what it has been shaped into during his upbringing. His mind is trained to become that sharp, dangerous and powerful weapon; However, by nature, his mind is meant to be an incredibly sensitive instrument and all of its abilities stem from what, in the past, once meant to be of entirely positive nature.

This means he can also do another thing:

Khan's mind can connect to other people's minds in the most vulnerable way, create a bond that will last until he cuts the connection himself or either one of them dies (Khan or the person he bonds with). This bond is extremely powerful and strong; It allows communication on an emotional level, lets both Khan and the chosen other one experience feelings and sensations of one another. For example, if one were to feel frightened, the other could sense it. If one were to experience deep happiness, the other would feel - and experience - it too. Love is also thoroughly shared through that bond, so is affection and any other feeling that they might have for one another.

That bond also allows partners to be incredibly close at all times: Even if separated by a great physical distance, they would still be able to feel each other's presence and experience what the other might feel.

In some cases, if one is (or both of them are) experiencing great emotional stress, the bond might even go as far as allowing them to communicate with more than just emotions. It means they could, in theory, talk to each other through their connection (for example, if one is in great stress and thinks of Khan within their minds, calling his name, he might be able to hear his partner call his name through their shared minds).

Also, when Khan is connected to his loved one, they can share close and intimate moments through their minds. Their minds can basically touch each other in loving embraces, very much similar to their physical bodies, which gives both a very calm, soothing, warm and intense sensation, bringing them even closer together. Sometimes those mind-touches can even manifest in a way that they will see each other inside their heads as their actual self surrounded by a warm glow, and they can interact with each other in that way too.

This might be the true reason for Khan's powerful mind to exist: It's meant for lovers to connect and keep a bond up that will bind them in ways no other can ever be close to one another. It opens up Khan equally as much as it opens up his chosen partner, the most sensitive parts of him, and the intense connection is unlike anything that is usually experienced between two individuals who cannot share such a bond in any way. It's the most pure form of love that Khan's kind can give.

The downside is that, should that bond be forcefully interrupted by either of them dying, the other will experience a devastating sensation - the loss of a bonded partner oftentimes results in the leftover one to fall into insanity, which can manifest in a lot of different ways... even drive them into suicide. It can be overcome if the person who is still alive is strong enough to deal with the feeling of a ripped mind, of a hole that can never be fixed, but it's hard to do and not many, not even of Khan's own race, would manage to do it.

Since this bond is meant to connect lovers, Khan can only connect in such a way with one person at a time. There's one exception: If he ever were to have offspring, his children would also automatically connect to the bond, to both parents, and keep them all together as a close-knit family. The children could choose to separate themselves if they want to however, without any side-effects happening to any of them - this allows them to then, in the future, seek out a partner to connect with.

[idontliketomatoesleavemealone]

I think one of the flies has spontaneously committed unalive

[underestimated-heroine]

"I hate racists but you know who's worse?! People who don't tell racists to kill themselves!!!" is a take I see all the fucking time on here and that will get you blocked instantly.

[khepiari]

Why Kuina’s Death Still Unsettles Us?

TW: mention of suicide, references teen/child suicide.

[I read a post about "falling down the stairs" might actually imply death by suicide. Kuina's death always bothered me a bit, and when Shimotsuki Koushiro said to Zoro, humans are fragile, did he really mean our bodies or our hearts? I still wonder. A few months back I had written a fic, a retelling of the events which led to Kuina's fall from the stairs, and I had done a lot of thinking while writing the fic. So all those ideas and thoughts I had then, have been rearranged and put here today.]

I remember watching the Kuina episode like 19 years back. So for an 11-year-old me, that was it. I was sad that she was gone too soon.

But over the years as I grew up, read the manga and then kept rereading it over and over. I did feel her death was surprisingly given the off-stage treatment that was given to Lady Macbeth! Only an announcement was made of her death, and her face is covered in a piece of cloth! That was too sudden, unlike so many other deaths that followed in the story.

I did brainstorm this over the years, it really felt odd, she was a physically strong 12-year-old girl and as far as I know swordswoman/man have to be good at balancing and footwork, because the art of the sword is about full body movement so her falling down is really really really iffy.

Image from chapter 5

And if we look at the Dojo architecture, there were no visible storeys to the building, I am sure she didn’t fall off a library step-stool or carpenter’s ladder. Then I found this Tumblr post, by Heeheemugee which said, falling down the stairs is a euphemism for suicide. Which makes sense! Like it totally connects in my head.

Though, sadly, I didn’t find any source to confirm this, as everyone on the internet told me it's untrue. But, you see, “falling down the stairs” is a euphemism which has been used for domestic violence victims, like in my mother tongue, when it's hard to explain to a child what happened to someone who died, we say the person has gone somewhere far, so may be falling down the stairs is more of an undocumented euphemism or an old reference Odachii picked from somewhere— he is known for this!

Image from chapter 5

Another thing we should remember Kuina was onset of puberty, the stress of future, her father’s general view of female body being weaker, and changing bodily features might have plagued her more than we think— since after 1000 chapters we know Zoro’s teacher is likely from Wano, I think internalized and cultural misogyny was at play too.

Teenage and puberty is a vulnerable time, one misstep can lead to drastic actions, so Kuina taking her own life is not farfetched. Because we have young children who are so stressed or vulnerable or suffering that they think ending it is better than enduring it.

Image from chapter 5

What has bothered me the most, is the offstage treatment of her death. I mean—we have seen most of the “characters whose death impacted the main characters' life decisions” die on stage in backstories so far, or we got a proper explanation of why someone is dead. We know Banchina died after an illness, Bellemere was killed by Arlong, Hililuk was poisoned and blew himself up. Only Kuina’s death we didn’t see, and it immediately happened just after both Zoro and Kuina had a heartfelt conversation about becoming the best swordsman/woman in the world!

I guess Oda chose “fell down the stairs” as the series was like 15 chapters till then. Or it maybe as simple as Odachii wanted to wrap Zoro’s backstory fast with typical “dead girl-friend of the grumpy emotionally suppressed lone wolf” to establish Zoro’s narrative as the one who carries the will of others!

Image from chapter 5

Otherwise, we know Eiichiro Oda doesn’t shy away from depicting gruesome, terrifying or horrible deaths which parallels real life issues, he sneaked in a little panel of a grandmother praying and a mother holding a knife with an infant in her arms in Wano arc, because they were starving for days!

Image from chapter 918

Or a pirate in human auction house biting his tongue to escape the humiliation of being sold as a slave!

Images from chapter 502

Hence, I think Kuina’s death doesn’t seem like an accident and feel like something sadder and heavier than we were led to believe.

[jackie-gremlin-ghost]

This TikTok sound pretty much sums up my feelings toward the book series (and a certain antagonist in particular) in a nutshell.

Also headphone warning because the last few seconds get loud.

[naritaren]

My director used the term "unalived himself" today during a meeting and I wanted to scream.

We work in mental health. There is an accepted term and it's "completed suicide". This self-censoring nonsense is stupid. It makes zero sense.

If it was truly to avoid an algorithm people are stupid. All these people need to do who program these algorithms is add these stupid self-censoring words. If they can add death and suicide they can certainly add unalive and have the same effect.