#(This might also explain some things happening in MCU threads ;)))) )

[respondedinkind]

Headcanon: Khan's mind (Main Alien Verse & MCU-Alien Verse)

It is mentioned very briefly in Khan's bio, but only 'grazed upon' so to speak. It's also mentioned in a few other posts here and there, scattered along headcanons and muse-ish things, but:

Khan's mind is incredibly powerful.

Heads up: This information cannot be known by any muse, with a few exceptions being made (for example, by muses who possess a powerful mind of their own, they might sense that Khan is different / powerful, or by muses who can do magic and see his aura being of different kind etc - but they would only know that, nothing more, no details).

While Khan does not possess the ability of reading another one's mind, or do tricks such as telepathy, or to take over someone else's mind to control them, he can do other things.

Back on his home planet, he was bred to be superior; His abilities were honed from the very beginning and his mind sharpened for what leads his kind to success most of the time. Not only is Khan incredibly intelligent, he is also meant to use his mind to kill.

In fact, the division he was meant to become a part of are the specialists in that regard - elite soldiers who conquer for their rulers. Next to physical combat, being so much stronger, faster and more resilient than most of their opponents, they also use their minds to gain the upper hand in what is known as a 'dirty technique' by nations who are aware of his race and the great devastation they bring.

Here is one part of what Khan can do, and what highlights the strength of his abilities:

Khan can, in theory, basically 'drill himself' into another person's mind; He grants himself forceful entry by sheer willpower, no need for any physical connection. Holding intense eye-contact during the whole act intensifies the sensation and makes it easier for him to do it, but it's not needed. However, once that intense eye-contact is established, and once he's managed to first enter another person's mind, they won't be able to disconnect from his own gaze (unless they are extremely powerful and have abilities of their own that would be able to make it happen)

Once inside another person's mind, he can force his way to the very core. Not many know about it, but a body does not live without it being connected to the host (the mind, also called the soul) that drives it. Khan can find said core, the most vulnerable part, and he can break it, which results in instant death to whoever he is doing this to.

'Fun' fact: This is actually the last 'test' he needed to go through back on his home planet, the one he failed: Because of him not having successfully disconnected himself from his own emotions, killing another individual caused him great stress and took a toll on his own brain. Heavy nosebleeds are a indicator for such to happen, and one cannot control them - so, despite Khan managing to kill the person he was meant to kill, he was deemed a failure because of his nose bleeding, meant to be executed - that is when he managed to fight his way out and flee from his home.

Next to that, Khan's mind is powerful in other ways: It's extremely good at blocking off intruders, so in case someone wants to enter it, it will be incredibly hard for them to do such. It's fierce and trained to withstand a lot of torture, and it takes a great amount to break him and gain access (in his main Verse, Alexander Marcus managed to do that; One can assume how much force it took and what it did to Khan in return)

For MCU verses and muses: His mind seems to be able to do some 'tricks', in a way, which he is also quite unaware of; With how powerful and unique said mind is, it might be able to connect to certain kinds of magic in ways, leading to some... interesting things happening. Not always, not all the time, but under certain circumstances Khan himself is (mostly) not aware of.

Happened in another thread, but is very much canon: In case someone uses a spell or any other technique to look into Khan's memories, his own past self - which is a literal memory and therefore everything that can be seen has already happened in the past - can realize that someone does this to him and, in rare cases, interact with whoever watches. How this happens is unclear, as it should not be possible; Whether Khan's future-self remembers that interaction happening or not depends on a case-to-case basis. It shows, however, that Khan's mind is made in a way that's probably impossible to explain, able to break 'the fourth wall', so to speak.

All of that being said: As much devastation as Khan's mind can bring, as much as it can cause death, this is only the result of what it has been shaped into during his upbringing. His mind is trained to become that sharp, dangerous and powerful weapon; However, by nature, his mind is meant to be an incredibly sensitive instrument and all of its abilities stem from what, in the past, once meant to be of entirely positive nature.

This means he can also do another thing:

Khan's mind can connect to other people's minds in the most vulnerable way, create a bond that will last until he cuts the connection himself or either one of them dies (Khan or the person he bonds with). This bond is extremely powerful and strong; It allows communication on an emotional level, lets both Khan and the chosen other one experience feelings and sensations of one another. For example, if one were to feel frightened, the other could sense it. If one were to experience deep happiness, the other would feel - and experience - it too. Love is also thoroughly shared through that bond, so is affection and any other feeling that they might have for one another.

That bond also allows partners to be incredibly close at all times: Even if separated by a great physical distance, they would still be able to feel each other's presence and experience what the other might feel.

In some cases, if one is (or both of them are) experiencing great emotional stress, the bond might even go as far as allowing them to communicate with more than just emotions. It means they could, in theory, talk to each other through their connection (for example, if one is in great stress and thinks of Khan within their minds, calling his name, he might be able to hear his partner call his name through their shared minds).

Also, when Khan is connected to his loved one, they can share close and intimate moments through their minds. Their minds can basically touch each other in loving embraces, very much similar to their physical bodies, which gives both a very calm, soothing, warm and intense sensation, bringing them even closer together. Sometimes those mind-touches can even manifest in a way that they will see each other inside their heads as their actual self surrounded by a warm glow, and they can interact with each other in that way too.

This might be the true reason for Khan's powerful mind to exist: It's meant for lovers to connect and keep a bond up that will bind them in ways no other can ever be close to one another. It opens up Khan equally as much as it opens up his chosen partner, the most sensitive parts of him, and the intense connection is unlike anything that is usually experienced between two individuals who cannot share such a bond in any way. It's the most pure form of love that Khan's kind can give.

The downside is that, should that bond be forcefully interrupted by either of them dying, the other will experience a devastating sensation - the loss of a bonded partner oftentimes results in the leftover one to fall into insanity, which can manifest in a lot of different ways... even drive them into suicide. It can be overcome if the person who is still alive is strong enough to deal with the feeling of a ripped mind, of a hole that can never be fixed, but it's hard to do and not many, not even of Khan's own race, would manage to do it.

Since this bond is meant to connect lovers, Khan can only connect in such a way with one person at a time. There's one exception: If he ever were to have offspring, his children would also automatically connect to the bond, to both parents, and keep them all together as a close-knit family. The children could choose to separate themselves if they want to however, without any side-effects happening to any of them - this allows them to then, in the future, seek out a partner to connect with.

[tarnishedxknight]

A Reason For Everything || open to mutuals

{ This starter mostly centers around Drace in her MCU verse, but it can also involve Munoh, Noah, and any others who would be present at the Avengers compound. You muse could have been present in the training gym at the time, or run into Drace as she headed back to her quarters, or however else you'd like your muse to get involved. Feel free to add/change some nuances and details for your muse's particular relationship with any of mine! =) }

The Occuria had the ability to remove anyone from any chosen point in time and move them to another. Quite literally, they could pluck a being from its natural timeline and transplant them into another, one of either a previous or future time, to serve an intended purpose. This was something they shared with precious few humes, for the knowledge was too great, too heavy for most mortals to bear. The responsibility was one that they were too young to handle. And yet... Munoh had explained it to Caelen when they had brought him to the time of the Avengers, wanting to place him in a time where he could live with his sister and other assorted friends. There had been nothing left for Caelen back in Ivalice.

Munoh didn't know who had brought the others there, but it was clear that this time point, this particular stretch of time's endless expanse, was important. A culmination, if you will, of minds, powers, goals, passions, and lives. One of the others had brought the Dalmascan princess, her former knight captain, and the Archadian Judge Magister to this time, though for what purpose, Munoh was not privy. As a heretic Occurian, they were outside the loop of information.

Nevertheless, once here, Munoh had set about assessing the adjustment capabilities of all who had been transplanted. The one who had transplanted them had long since abandoned them, making Munoh wonder if the move had been for their benefit... or the benefit of ones left behind, that their adversaries might be removed from them? It was impossible to know for sure. But as they watched the princess and the knight captain find their way well enough with others native to this time in addition to Caelen, they watched a much different story play out with the Judge Magister. That one... was not getting on as well. He raged against his brother, frightened the princess, trusted no one, drank too much, and otherwise appeared to be self-destructing in his grief.

For the Occuria, time was neither a thread nor a loop. It was layers upon layers, all happening simultaneously, alongside each other. Jumping from one layer to another, from one year or time period to another, was as easy as moving from building to building was for a hume. Back in Ivalice, Munoh researched the Judge Magister's life to see what stabilizing factors he had lost. One in particular, the loss of one crucial person in his life under unacceptable circumstances, as far as Munoh saw it, was Judge Drace. Munoh watched this person, returning to an earlier time before Judge Gabranth had been forced to end her life. Interesting things resulted from that research...

Not only was this Judge Drace an indispensable support pillar within Gabranth's life, but her removal had destabilized him irrevocably. Able to review entire lifetimes in mere minutes, Munoh was horrified to see how much this particular hume had suffered, and inspired by how much the other had lifted him up. So many tales of humans harming and killing each other existed within the archives of time, but here was a tale of two who came together to support and love each another. Munoh was loathe to see such a bond broken, and when they realized something else towards the end of this Drace's life in Ivalice, their decision to transplant them had been set in stone.

Humes, like all living creatures, gave off their own unique auras to the Occuria. Every single one. Even the smallest of them. She hadn't known it yet, and with her life cut short such as it had been, neither had anyone else, but at the time of her death, Drace had been carrying a new life... one that bore resemblance in aura to both her and a certain other Judge Magister Munoh was now attempting to assist.

Plucking her from just before that fateful meeting where she met her end had been easy for the Occurian to accomplish. Now they had to hope this newly transplanted human would adjust well and be able to stabilize the spiraling Gabranth, so that all these deserving and long-suffering Ivalicians could live happy lives in their new time...

__________

Drace had been feeling a bit off of late. Her usually reined-in emotions were a bit more volatile, her sleep schedule was all over the place, and she'd been making very stupid mistakes during training. Although she knew it had started some time before, she chalked it up to this blasted magical mishap that had landed her in this accursed time period. Drace had assumed that she would acclimate after a while. That is, until the medical department had contacted her about some anomalies in her testing.

What could the problem be? Was there some sort of physical ailment or syndrome associated with being removed from one's native time? She hadn't noticed Gabranth or the Dalmascans having such, so why should she? Anomalies. What did that mean? Medical science in this time period did seem to dwarf her own with regard to how much was known and how much could be told about a person with just a few simple tests, but... what was it they had seen? They'd asked for additional samples of blood and urine, though requesting the latter seemed a bit undignified to Drace, and she was told to stand by for the results.

Those results came during a particularly frustrating training session in which it was if her body was rebelling against her. She felt clumsy, she hated the constricting armor of this time, everything felt uncomfortable, and Gabranth was besting her in ways he should not be able to. The interruption was actually welcome, giving her a chance to catch her breath and reset, at least until she was told the results of her tests. Glad for the fact that Gabranth had remained across the gym as she was taken aside by one of the medical staff, Drace was informed that she was, in fact, approximately three months with child.

The diagnosis blindsided her. It simply wasn't possible. All her life, she had only ever been with one man. There had been other women, in a romantic sense, but sexually there had only ever been one person... and he was sterile, so how could she possibly- A chill ran through her. It happened with Amoretta, so why not with you as well? The blood drained from her face and she was vaguely aware of the medical technician asking her if she was alright.

"Quite," was Drace's terse response. She... was not alright. "Inform no one of this," she practically ordered the woman.

"All your medical records are kept confidential unless you-" the woman started to say.

"Good," Drace replied, promptly leaving the gym without further word to Gabranth or anyone else there. She couldn't face him, not now. Not until she had gotten her head on straight. He wouldn't want another child, not after everything that had happened with Lord Larsa. Not... after he'd lost Larsa. Pregnancy, childbirth... those things were immensely triggering to him after all that had occurred with Amoretta. The last thing he would ever want to hear... was...

And... what did she want? She was a warrior, that was all she'd ever known and all she'd ever wanted to know. She... she wasn't a mother. That just wasn't her. Was it? Could it be? One could not wear armor and fight properly with one's abdomen swollen like a watermelon. Perhaps the medical staff were mistaken about the results? No, of course not, do not play at denial when you know the truth. And she did know it now, did she not? In retrospect, it all made sense. Her emotional volatility, the feeling of something being off with her body, her interrupted sleep, and... and the strange nausea that had plagued her in the morning hours. Apparently it had not been the food of this time period after all.

Drace retreated to her own quarters without explanation to anyone, needing time to live with this revelation, to digest it, and to decide what to do about it. She felt the slightest prickly sensation of panic begin to wash over her, something very rare for her to experience. This was a life-changing moment, at a time when so much had already changed. Did she want to raise a child in this world, this time? Only if Gabranth were by her side. The question was... would he want to be?

Gabranth, meanwhile, was left standing in the gym, brow furrowed, not understanding what had made Drace suddenly turn and walk from him without so much as a simple goodbye.

{ Side note to @disillusionedjudge: With this starter's setup of the Occuria moving people around in time, I had the thought that maybe Gylfie was brought in after the fact by Munoh because of her friendship with Caelen, also to help stabilize Noah/Gabranth, if that idea appealed to you! }

[musical-chick-13]

SELF LOVE TIME FRIENDO 🖤

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

🤔 Would you ever want to write something canon if you got the opportunity?

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

💕 What is your favorite fic that you’ve written?

Oh, absolutely my most recent Christmas fic, to lay in your arms when the world is burning, where River is grieving her parents. (Can be found here.) I don't know how to explain what happened while I was writing this, but there were so many turns of phrase where I went, "Somehow this is exactly what I was trying to communicate," and I genuinely felt...so accomplished and emotionally fulfilled when it was done. Anything I write about grief or loss will be incredibly special to me, and this fic is probably the predominant example of that. :)

❤️ What is your favorite line that you’ve written in a fic?

I remember being particularly proud of this one (also from to lay in your arms...) when I wrote it:

She’s not going to muddy up an occasion he’s particularly fond of by wallowing in the past and trekking its dregs all over the carpet.

In the interest of not making all of these answers about the same fic, here's one from tricking ourselves nice:

But. Such a small word, yet it prevented him from sleeping, from enjoying food or wine, from focusing on how to rebuild his life, after Stannis and after Jon Snow and after the White Walkers. The word sticks to his mind like wax to paper, turning any reassurance he might have been able to offer himself into shit.

(^^^ I like this one because it's a play on Ned's line "everything after the word 'but' is shit.")

I was also proud of this line, from the A/H wip:

How do you tell someone that you want to live in the grooves of their grey matter. That you want to thread yourself through every single one of their braincells, until the only thing they ever think about is you. That you know that’s impossible and utterly insane and deeply, deeply unhealthy, but you don’t care, you want it anyway. How the fuck do you even begin to tell someone that, she’s surprised she can even say it to herself.

🤔 Would you ever want to write something canon if you got the opportunity?

I honestly feel like I write just as much canon as not-canon? Most of my stuff leans toward characters studies, which means a lot of referencing canon and working within it. There are some things I have that I would consider a straight-up AU, like my Cersei/Melisandre fic, the GoT performer AU I'm working on, and the "Natasha lives" MCU fic (I'll get back to you someday, I promise). But I feel like most of my Adlock or Doctor/River stories are rooted in the confirmed events we see onscreen. (And there are definitely a number of WIPs that involve exploring the characters' psychological reactions to canon events, even if it ends up diverging a bit). So, in short, yes, I am in favor of me writing something canon.

🎨 If someone were to make fanart of your work, what fic or scene would you hope to see?

OH MY GOD. I...would be honored if someone made ANY art of my work at all!! There are so many things I could choose. Melisandre giving Cersei a hug in you opened up the things I shut. The "actually, I go by Annie" moment in the ghost possession OCD fic. Davos picking up the leaf in tricking ourselves nice. Irene's subtle (and successful) attempts to get Sherlock to write off his brother's assignment in Let Not Light See My Black and Deep Desires. Clint pilfering Natasha's case file in my haunted heart is uneasy. But I'm going to be really boring and say that, if I had to pick one (1) scene, it would be the one in to lay in your arms... where Twelve holds River.

(My pipe dream is that someone makes art of an upcoming scene of c2g, where a Big Emotional Development happens, but a) this fic is very much not for everyone, and b) I don't want to spoil what happens.)

Fanfic Writer Ask Game

[hiddleloki]

I can't get off this clown cart, HELP, even as it hurtles towards the cliff. Please reassure me with your theories of how R@**h can still be Peter/Pietro given the latest "official" statements that he was some actor and this was his stupid hex AND non-hex name... and that he was de-powered without the necklace... PLEASE ENABLE MY DENIAL WITH LOGIC!!

Well, mostly it’s because I highly doubt Kevin would settle for Mandarin 2.0, given the fact they received so much negativity and backlash from fans back in 2013. Despite what people might assume, Feige knows his shit and how to please fans. He was probably aware fans would be disappointed if Peters’ appearance amounted to nothing but a crude boner joke.

Second, I don’t believe a thing the crew behind WV says.

“we didn’t know casting Evan Peters would cause so many X-Men and multiverse theories” -  um....they literally had him look identical to his X-Men character...in a show that’s leading into Multiverse of Madness....how can anyone believe for a second that there wouldn’t be any crossover theories, especially since the lead actress herself thought the same at first.

“didn’t know who Mephisto is.” i HIGHLY doubt that lol

“wanda’s grief caused her to kind of forget how her brother looks like.” - yet one of the things she says to Peter is literally “why do you look different”, meaning she knows that’s not how Pietro looked.

Also, we’re forgetting that the canon is what we see in the show. Not what anyone else says. Sure, they can say ‘oh this person was that and that and they were doing this’ but unless it’s shown on screen/show/media it’s not canon.

What do we know about ‘Ralph’ by watching the show? 

- he played the role of Agnes/Agatha’s husband (then why did Agatha keep his ‘real’ name? Why didn’t she change it, she changed her own? Why keep his actual name? Why did he go along with wife/husband ruse if he’s never interacting with anyone)

- that his name is apparently Ralph Bohner (show’s canon never explains if this is actually his real name or hex name. The hex was still up when that reveal happened, any viewer could assume it’s the same case for him. The documents could change too)

- he has superspeed (people assume the necklace gave him powers, but again, the show never confirmed that. for all we know he could still have powers)

- “yeah, but he was begging for his life after she tore off his necklace which he wouldn’t and he’d just run away if he still had them” (are we forgetting that he still had the necklace on when Monica literally knocked him off his feet? He could have easily used powers then too, but he didn’t, so...that’s not a sound argument)

- he wore his necklace so Agatha was possessing him (to what point exactly? for all we know the necklace was just giving Agatha the ability she could see/hear everything he does? Or maybe it was just mind control?)

- the show left his fate ambiguous. Is he a good guy, a bad guy? Was he a victim or Agatha’s accomplice? Sure, there’s a deleted scene where he joins the team in stealing Darkhold but that was not included so it’s not canon. 

- what happened to him after Monica tore off his necklace? We don’t know. 

Basically anyone who doesn’t follow what showrunners have to say or a casual viewer is left in the dark about ‘Ralph’, his fate, powers etc.

He’s basically a loose thread. Wanda will be back. Darcy will be back. Vision will be back. The twins are out there and we know we’ll get more of them. Monica will be back. Woo will be back as well apparently. Hayward is in prison, Agatha will be back eventually as well, the residents got some closure towards the end, everyone’s story was resolved, except Ralph’s. 

Which is VERY sus, because usually, marvel does a fine job with wrapping loose ends. 

The fact that they left it so ambiguous gives Feige and co a perfect option for a retcon or future exploration of that character - if that wasn’t already what they had planned to begin with. 

 I have no doubt that this isn’t the last we see of Evan in the mcu.

[twh-news]

How Loki's finale sets up season 2 and the future of the MCU

Loki finale spoilers follow.

Just minutes into the season-one finale, Loki and Sylvie finally arrive at their destination following last week's big castle reveal. When the doors to their destiny swing open, Miss Minutes suddenly appears and congratulates the pair on completing this "awfully long journey."

Sure, season one was only six episodes long, but Loki's story started way before this. Combine all of his movie appearances with the wibbly-wobbly, timey-wimey hijinks of this show, and it sure does feel like we've been on a long journey with the God of Mischief.

And now, following that post-credits reveal, Marvel has confirmed that Loki will indeed return for a second season. Thank the gods this journey is continuing, because there are more loose threads in that final episode than there are in all of Asgard's finest tailories combined.

Loki ending explained

Upon arriving at the Citadel at the End of Time, Loki and Sylvie are promised all of their greatest desires, including an infinity gauntlet, the Throne of Asgard and a win against those "self-righteous' Avengers. Christmas came early for our Lokis, but despite all that, they both end up turning Miss Minutes down.

And with that, the Big Bad of Loki (and now the MCU as a whole) is revealed to be Lovecraft Country's Jonathan Majors, AKA He Who Remains AKA Kang the Conquerer AKA "a jerk" (his words, not ours) AKA the villain that comic book fans predicted all along. What follows is a hefty amount of exposition that puts even the first episode to shame, so we'll do our best to summarise.

While He Who Remains bops around to avoid Sylvie's sword, he serves the pair tea and begins to explain his big origin story. Eons ago, in the 31st century, our guy (let's call him Kang, even if the show didn't) discovered the multiverse around the same time that other Kang variants did. At first, they shared knowledge and tech amongst themselves, but as time went on, those who were not "pure of heart" began to invade other realities, which erupted into all-out war.

This Kang was different from the rest, because he discovered Alioth, a creature born of the tears in reality that this war created. He Who Remains weaponised the creature, thereby ending the multiversal war. To preserve cosmic harmony, this variant then decided to isolate the "sacred" timeline, his own, and prune the rest to avoid another war. He then created the TVA to maintain this peace and thereby keep his other variants at bay.

According to He Who Remains, the only way Loki and Sylvie can move forward is if they either take over the TVA or kill this variant, which would unleash the multiversal war along with an "infinite amount of devils." So either "stifling order or cataclysmic chaos."

Pressure mounts once they cross the threshold, the point beyond the timeline that Kang knows. Everything from this point on is a surprise to him, so he's content to let his fate rest in the hands of two Lokis because… he's tired, he says.

Sylvie thinks that He Who Remains is also He Who Fibs A Bunch, so she tries to kill him. Loki isn't so sure though, and as you might expect, the pair try to settle this with a cheeky knife fight. This ends with a big kiss (cue the strings!) and then a double cross.

That's right. Sylvie chooses vengeance over love and shoves Loki through a portal, sending him back to the TVA. And with that, Lady Loki guts Kang like a fish. He seems pretty chill about it though, promising that she'll see him soon... Ominous much?

At that point, all of the timelines start branching out like crazy, creating the multiverse of madness that Kang tried to stop, until he got bored of it. We then cut back to Sad Loki at the TVA where he tries to tell Mobius that a terrifying new threat is on the way. But Mobius doesn't even know who he is anymore.

Does this mean that the timeline has been altered? Or has Loki been thrown into a new reality? Either way, it's not looking too good for the God of Mischief because a statue of Jonathan Majors has replaced the Time Keepers one we usually see in the TVA lobby.

How Loki's finale sets up season 2 and the MCU's future

Season two is going to throw plenty of new challenges at Loki, and hopefully a lot less exposition. First of all, our God of Mischief will need to figure out what the Hel's going on in this new version of the TVA. How will he get Mobius on side if Kang has always ruled this timeline or rewritten history in some way?

And it's not just one Kang he needs to worry about. He Who Remains has now become They Who Remain, which means that there are an infinite number of time-travelling villains to fight. And the worst thing of all is that Loki doesn't even have Sylvie on side now either following that savage betrayal.

Things could soon change in that regard though given the pair's connection. With Kang's tempad, Sylvie can go anywhere now, and we wouldn't be surprised if she ends up drawn back to Loki in some way.

Ravonna will almost certainly pop up again too. The TVA is all she's known, before the mindwipe anyway, and her quest to discover free will could end up transforming the Judge into an ally of sorts. And boy does Loki need all the help he can get.

Beyond the show itself, Loki's finale also just changed Marvel's entire trajectory. Not since we saw America's Ass has the MCU been left so shook by one event, but here we are, about to dive into the multiverse of madness.

The most obvious connection is between this and Doctor Strange's next film, which happens to be called The Multiverse of Madness. The good Doctor must be having heart palpitations after watching this episode, and rightly so, because he's perhaps the only one strong enough to fix this mess, aside from Wanda of course. In fact, the Scarlet Witch could turn out to be the key to everything going on here.

As a Nexus Being, Wanda can reshape reality itself, and that's going to come in handy given all of the Nexus shizz happening from this point on. Elizabeth Olsen's involvement in the film has already been confirmed, and at the end of WandaVision, it was strongly implied that Wanda will visit another reality to try and rescue some version of her now deceased children. Could this help fix things somehow or perhaps make them worse?

Doctor Strange and Wanda aren't the only ones caught up in all this. An animated show called What If...? will dive into some of Marvel's alternate realities firsthand, and the upcoming Spider-Man sequel will also tackle the multiverse with cameos from franchise stars who appeared pre-Marvel. Who knows? Maybe Spider-Ham will turn out be the one who saves everyone.

All this multiverse tomfoolery also opens the gates for X-Men and Fantastic Four characters to finally join the MCU. Marvel's First Family, as they're known in the comics, are already confirmed to star in their own film, and those Merry Mutants won't be far behind either. Whether those teams end up being recast or whether they ask the original actors to come back, one mutant whose return has already been confirmed is Deadpool.

[occidentaltourist]

The Unbearable Whiteness of (Comics) Beings

An excellent thread by Gene Demby, correspondent and co-host of NPR’s Code Switch podcast, on the deeply embedded whiteness of Marvel and DC comics characters.

From Droll Embiid.@GeeDee215:

A quick thing about Isaiah on The Falcon and The Winter Soldier.

About a decade ago, I interviewed Robert Morales, who invented that character for Marvel in 2001. The result was "Truth: Red, White, And Black" which recast the story of Captain America's origins as part of a Tuskegee Syphillis Study-like plot.

In Robert's story, the US rounded up hundreds of Black GIs in a segregated battalion during WWII to use as guinea pigs. The US is trying to re-create the procedure used to turn Steve Rogers into Cap.

They get it wrong — a lot. Almost all of the Black men they round up die.

Only five of the 300 Black men subjected to the super-soldier experiments survive the process; of that five, Isaiah is the only Black super-soldier who survives the war, and he is thrown in prison for decades.

"It was so depressing I didn't think they would approve it," Robert told me. ""But it was depressingly realistic. And *likely.*

"Robert died in 2013. But his revision of the Cap story was part of a wider on-page reckoning w/ the whiteness of the stories in the mainline MCU/DCU.

The Kents of Smallville, as one example, were reimagined as radical abolitionists — Free-Staters who settled in Kansas to oppose the state from becoming a slave state. Clark Kent, then, would be directly downstream from the principles of his forebears.

It's a very liberal inclination — positioning the Kents on the side of justice for a century-plus before the space-ship landed on their farm.

but it skips over some bigger, more important question about race and power: like how is it that whiteness was literally so universal that both a Kansan *and* a Kryptonian might possess it?

Much more under the cut.

Black mainline comics writers kept playing with these premises. The legendary Dwayne McDuffie, wrote his Black superman analogue Icon as having become Black upon imprinting on the enslaved Black woman in the American south who found and adopted it.*

*why this character was still -male- is...yeah.

anyway, a lot of mainstream superheroes, in their reimaginings, have to nod to the oppression in this country. (There was an aside in one of the Nolan Batman jawns that positioned the Batcave as originally a hideout the Waynes used for fugitives on the Underground Railroad.)

And i think that speaks to how deeply embedded the whiteness of these characters is.

The Green Lantern's power ring had to scan the earth for the bravest person in a world of billions of people and...decided that its rightful bearer was a white fighter pilot from the Midwest?

anyway, more later!

okay, so young Kal-El rocketed across the cosmos as a baby in a spaceship before crash-landing in a field in Kansas. He was Kryptonian but also, somehow, a white boy. Which brings us back to this question upthread: whiteness could literally span the cosmos?

in those Silver Age days, that's literally how they explained it: he could be a white American because there were white Kryptonians.

This was underscored by the fact that they created distinctly *Black* Kryptonians — who lived in a place called Vathlo Island.

Vathlo Island "retained its independence throughout history and did not join the planetary federation, though good relations were maintained."

Kryptonian Wakanda, I guess.(Yes, I know i'm mixing universes to make that metaphor work. calm down, nerds.)

Not long after that first (and one of the only) references to Vathlo Island in 1971, Neal Adams, a white artist at DC, asked his editor a q: what happens if Hal Jordan — the Green Lantern —  dies? The editor told him that there would then be a backup Lantern.

The backup Green Lantern they had in mind was a white gym teacher who used to play Big 10 football.

Again: the bravest person in the world was a white USian dude.

Adams eventually pushed back, and along w/ Dennis O'Neil, created a Black character to take over the GL mantle: an ex-Marine named John Stewart.

(Adams told me his editor originally wanted to name the character Lincoln Washington, but he talked him out of it. Phew.)

Again, y'all see the problems here — the bravest person in the world is still a male, a USian and a member of the US, military? — but as representation went, Stewart was better than a lot of the other Black superheroes that DC tried their hands at.

In the 70s, DC created Black Lightning (who was black and electrical), Black Goliath (black and a giant), and Nubia ( black...and Wonder Woman). And at Marvel there was Luke Cage, who, in his earliest pre-dab incarnations, was a jive-talking powerhouse in butterfly collars.

Anyway, the upshot here is that John Stewart taking over the Green Lantern mantle...stuck with Dwayne McDuffie, who created the Milestone comics imprint under DC in the 1990s, featuring all characters of color.

(Milestone's Superman analogue, Icon, mentioned upthread, became a way to embody and critique a certain kind of ascendent respectability politics; he was, after all, essentially a Black cop. Milestone was already playing with chewier ideas around race than mainline DC.)

McDuffie would eventually become a the principal player in the DC Animated Universe. When they were creating the Justice League animated series, underlined that there way that the show could have a team in which everyone — even the aliens Kal-El and Hawkgirl! — were white.so instead of Hal Jordan, the original Green Lantern, taking his traditional place as at the Justice League table , the animated series launched with John Stewart in that role.

The show debuted in 2001 and became a huge hit. McDuffie often pointed out that, as a result, a generation of younger fans who were introduced to the character through the animated series had only ever known a Black Green Lantern.

(There were a lot of reasons the 2011 Ryan Reynolds Green Lantern movie failed, and the "who tf is THIS guy?" factor probably played some role in it.)

There's a lot more, obviously. But some of these IPs — Batman and Superman and Captain America, in particular — are 80+ years old. They're holdovers from a pre-Civil Rights Act America, a pre-Stonewall America, etc. They represent a bunch of stuff that is ever harder to update.

And it will be interesting to watch how that chafes against the the fact that they are more valuable and popular than they've ever been. Could a critique of the premises of the Cap origin story, like Robert Morales', even happen today?

[cryptovalid]

The weird politics of the Blip

The more the MCU fleshes out the events after Avengers: Endgame, but especially in Falcon and the Winter Soldier, the less sense the geopolitics of the MCU makes to me. In this essay I will be sharing my perspectives on politics in the MCU. If you’re not interested in that sort of thing, don’t feel obligated to engage. Also, by the very nature of this essay it will involve spoilers for the MCU and discussions of topics like state violence and terrorism, so consider this a trigger warning.

It’s an understatement to say that the world would change radically if half the population would randomly disintegrate, and I understand that speculating on the consequences of those people coming back after five years is no simple task. There might even be story considerations I am unaware of.

But the idea that the world’s governments would immediately start forcibly removing people from the homes they lived in for five years, to accommodate people who were declared dead five years ago sounds really strange to me. Let’s explore this.

If you were the survivor of a disaster that cut the world’s population in half, what would this look like to you? You’ve presumably went through a lot of hardship and trauma in the years following. You’ve sold some of the things belonging to your deceased loved ones, or bought stuff from other people in a similar situation. You may have relocated, started a new family. Grieved.

And suddenly those people you literally saw turn to dust in front of you just appear again, like nothing happened? Literally in the same befuddled state in which they died. 

And I have to stress: they died. there is no way to suggest that a person can be atomized and still be alive.

So why would you even trust that this was the same person? In a very real sense, it’s an identical copy of your deceased loved one. Similar to teleportation, this should cause us to wonder if they were truly resurrected, or merely cloned. What kinds of rights do they have, being legally deceased? Would we even know if these were impostors, if the situation changed them somehow?

I’m not saying there’s no answer to these questions, just that people should disagree on this. People would have high-minded philosophical, scientific and religious debates. Conspiracy theories and fistfights. This is by far the most world-changing event ever recorded. It should have massive ethical, political and spiritual implications.

And what I think we should think about is that these people who returned have nothing. They have no memory or lived experience to prepare them for this different world, all of their material possessions belong to someone else now, and by definition, all political, economic and military power is held by those who stayed, who now have a material conflict of interest, because if they acknowledge that you are the same person and deserving of the things you had 5 years ago, they have to give it back. Even without the administrative nightmare this would represent, the returned have nothing. Even their work experience is practically meaningless, especially in high-paying jobs. 

What would happen if Steve Jobs somehow magically returned, having no idea what Apple had been doing in the last couple of years, and demanded to be put back in charge of Apple? It’s not exactly an easy ‘yes’, is it? The world’s power balance would be forever shifted. 

I’m not saying everybody would be unsympathetic to the plight of the people who unblipped. But I am saying there would be a massive movement or series of movements opposed to giving them back their stuff. And I’m saying that movement would not only be popular but also backed by every powerful business interest and government.

Because realistically, the unblipped would be the refugees. They are the ones who would have lost everything, fighting an uphill legal battle to even be recognized as alive and as the same person they were 5 years ago. They would be the ones in camps, waiting for supplies.

Ironically, they would be the ones most hurt by the status quo returning to normal, as there is no way to keep massive famines and shortages from happening in this situation without international coordination. 

So why did the MCU decide on the opposite idea? There are two arguments I can think of: one narrative, and one political. On a narrative level, speculating on a changed world is complicated and risky. If Marvel wants to make stories relevant to us in our world, they have to more or less get back to a status quo we would recognize before it would complicate their properties going forward.

The second reason, I think, is that to truly explore a world like this is radical and potentially a liability for Disney, both in terms of their audience and their relationship with the US military.

Of course any real discussion on policy in this situation requires the heroes to at least pay lip service to a political opinion, which could cost them a lot of fans. We are talking about the legitimacy of borders, of private ownership. Any examination of the edge cases will cause people to have Strong Opinions of their own. In a crisis like this, can people squat in empty houses? Do these people have human rights and refugee status, and how should those be protected in the real world? Can any state justly displace people and if not, are these people allowed to disobey the government or even fight them?

Since the US military subsidizes Marvel’s use of military hardware, it has script approval. So that can also explain why they can’t make the US government the bad guy or present a truly different world where the US military is rightfully no longer in control. 

Who can legitimately deprive people of things they need to survive in a crisis like this? What’s more important: the right to own a house and keep it empty if we so choose, or the right to live in a house? 

If we get too deeply into it, Karly’s position (in theory) seems very compelling, like Erik Killmonger’s before her. And so, they have to make her (like him) a hypocrite who goes too far, so it doesn’t seem like the MCU is advocating violence against the state. 

Karly’s ideology is muddled by the writers because the violence she performs has no chance of actually achieving her goals of global solidarity. It feels tacked on to make her less sympathetic. Realistically, someone like Karli would be holding political rallies, sit-ins. Writing op-eds, staging marches and organizing her community into self-sufficiency. Possibly getting into fights with the cops during evictions or protests. If you read Falcon and the Winter Soldier as a kind of allegory for American politics, then Walker represents Trump, Sam represents Obama, and Karly represents... whatever conservatives think socialism/BLM is?

So it feels like FatWS is trying to thread the needle: Nationalism is bad, but so is statelessness. A state should have integrity, and benevolence. And it can have those things, if represented by the right people. Then, the violence is just and measured. It’s barely even violence at all.

I’m kidding of course, the kinds of solutions the MCU offers are basically ‘Co-Intelpro, PMC’s and neighbourhood watches... but run by morally perfect people’. It’s the way a propagandist would represent clandestine domestic espoinage or police brutality: Sam and Bucky would never kill anybody defenseless, and they would never interfere with legitimate polical movements. Because the writers create a perfect world where it’s always clear what everybody’s intention is before the fighting starts, and non-lethal violence is a reliable default option, no more morally problematic than some rough-housing by rambunctious kids.

I know I can trust Sam and Bucky because the writers would never give them realistic implicit biases in a way that would endanger their moral character. They are perfect because they are not real.

The robots, aliens and wizards are not the only unrealistic thing about the MCU. we have to be aware of how artificial the politics are, even if we want to suspend our disbelief. Or else we end up trusting politicians when they embrace a fundamentally immoral status quo, and let thousands die to maintain it (I know, a WILD hypothetical that will surely never come true, but worth keeping an eye out for.)  

The politics that a blip would realistically set in motion are so different from our own, that it would call into question the legitimacy of private ownership and the state. In order to avoid upsetting its fans and its financiers, the MCU has to return to a status quo where those political realities can be taken for granted.    

[ironxkid]

why don't you like endgame or civil war

((hoo buddy, idk what brought this up but salt under the cut!! Like... a lot of salt - specifically regarding Endgame lmao

I’m gonna start off with CACW because it’s a short response lol

I don’t like it simply because I was done with the infighting between the Avengers. The found family crumbs we were given in Endgame was something I really wanted to see, and them just... ripping them apart frustrated me lol

honestly, the movie was... fine? Idk, I found it to be a lil slow for my taste (it felt like it just dragged on when I watched it in theaters), and I just don’t care for it in general  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ Also, ngl, I’m really bummed that Captain America: Serpent Society was a joke announcement because that sounds dope as hell and I really wanted to see that before I realized it’d been a joke dfgjhdsfhj

but, yeah, literally just because CACW is specifically an infighting movie annoys me to no end so I just won’t watch it again dgsfjhsfdhj

now, Endgame?

fuck Endgame

I. have a lot of issues with it, all of which are major grievances throughout the fandom. I’m pissed they killed Natasha and didn’t even bother giving her a fucking funeral because, I quote from Joe Russo, “Well, Tony does not have another movie. Tony is done. And Natasha has another film. And Marvel Universe obviously does not have to move forward linearly anymore. But that character still has more screen time coming.” (see here) and that annoys the hell out of me. She’s getting another movie - great! So you killed one of the few characters doing her fucking best to keep everything together at the compound, the one who was taking charge, give her a big role, and then murk her and... give her nothing but a brief mention at the end. Like... what the fuck? Natasha deserved so much better than what she was given. Tony’s funeral could’ve (and, frankly, should’ve) been a funeral for him, Natasha, and Vision because god forbid we see anyone mourn Vision other than Wanda

(actually this post covers how Endgame fucked over the MCU women perfectly, though Wanda’s not mentioned :c )

plus... Tony’s not done lol - he’s still a massive figure in the films/shows despite RDJ not acting in them, so his character has left shockwaves that aren’t dying any time soon. Natasha... basically disappeared, and I believe she would’ve been dropped completely if it wasn’t for the fact she does have a film coming out soon. Which, frankly, seems awesome and all, but it’s a film that goes back to post-CACW pre-IW and... frankly doesn’t give me any reason to understand why that means she didn’t get a funeral. She’s not coming back in future movies/shows that are in present MCU timeline - her movie is set in the past. She could’ve gotten a decent sendoff 

now, Clint’s arc as Ronin rubs me the wrong way. I know it’s a huge thing in the comics, and it’s not him taking a different mantle that I have an issue with. It’s the fact he, a white man, went around murdering people and got off scot-free. Yes, he was targeting genuinely bad people, but... to show that, they specifically singled out Mexican cartels and the yakuza (Japanese mafia, essentially) - so, in other words, the bad guys were people of color! I feel like I don’t need to explain how fucked up that is. And, to clarify, I love Clint! Clint is honestly one of my favorite characters, and the whole thing was just handled... poorly in the film

Tony’s arc genuinely hurts. This is a man who has suffered for years and has tried to make things right, and finally got a chance to settle down. He finally retired from the Avengers, finally settled down, and had a fucking life he could enjoy despite his ghosts, and yet... His arc ends with a message of “tortured soul finally gets rest by dying”. Because, y’know, it’s great seeing yet another long-suffering character only reaching peace through death, because god forbid they let characters heal! He could’ve still caused the second Snap, and he could’ve survived. He could’ve finally been able to step away for good and focus on his family, focus on recovering, and be truly happy. What’s so wrong with letting him stay alive so he can rest and be with his family? What’s so wrong with letting a long-suffering character finally find peace after one last bang? 

plus it pisses me off that they’re now using him as a reasoning as to why bad things are still happening. Why is this person the bad guy? Because Tony Stark somehow may or may not have done something that hurt them! Even though most of that really stems from Howard or Obadiah. Tony just ends up getting the blame in their place. He’s just an easy target to use, much like the tesseract seems to be the go-to answer for why things go wrong. But this is a different train of thought

Steve’s ending pisses me off just as much as the next person lmao. You take a character who has acknowledged he no longer belongs in the past (which, funnily enough, was written by the Russos), aaaaaaand have him go back to the past while ignoring two important people in his life that were still right there. He got Bucky and Sam back, and he leaves them. His arc is ruined within a matter of minutes, and it paints a hella bad picture of him in the process. He goes back in time to stay with Peggy (which ultimately destroys her own arc, and the fact she’s a person outside of her relationship (or lack thereof) with him because, y’know, why have her be able to move on and be her own person?), and we’re supposed to believe he’s fine with everything he knows from the future? Fine with knowing Bucky’s trapped with HYDRA and is suffering as the Winter Soldier? Fine with knowing HYDRA has infested SHIELD from day one? Fine with knowing Howard and Maria are going to die? Fine with royally fucking up the timelines? We’re supposed to believe he sat back and did nothing with all of that? They could’ve had him still hand the shield over to Sam - they could’ve let Steve stay an Avenger without the mantle

also the fact the Russos said he didn’t recognize Red Skull when he returned to Vormir to return the soul stone? Like... what the fuck?? Not to mention he literally returns the stone to Vormir, which “soul for a soul”, and they didn’t bring Nat back that way??

and now onto Thor. Thor... holy fuck is this hitting something personal for me. Thor was ridden with guilt - he was furious with himself, hated himself, and blamed himself for failing to stop the Snap. He fell into a massive depression, and... was promptly danced around as laughing stock. Like, “oh! look at Thor! he’s fat and drunk because he’s depressed haha!” - like fuck off. It’s not funny in any form. His suffering was made into a joke and it pisses me off because I suffer from depression. A lot of people suffer from depression. It’s not funny. It’s fucking terrifying at times. I wasted a shit ton of money on a stupid online sim game because it was a distraction - it gave me... god, I wouldn’t even say temporary happiness, but it gave me something to temporarily help, and I still hate myself for doing it. It was a poor decision on my part, and I wish I could change it. And, during that time, I was scared because I couldn’t see myself pulling out of it. I thought I was gonna feel that way forever. I called out of work multiple times because there were days I couldn’t stop crying (something I still feel horrible for doing), I couldn’t get myself to contact any of my friends for months, and it was all because the medication I was on at the time... stopped working. Thankfully, my depression doesn’t work in a way that makes me a danger to myself, so that wasn’t an issue, but it still fucking sucked. And to see a character that I could relate to on such a personal level treated as laughing stock fucking hurt. I’m not sharing this for sympathy - I’m sharing this because it Thor’s arc hit home and it’s literally the main reason why I will not watch Endgame again

this is more of a nitpick than anything else, but... I didn’t really care for Carol in it tbh? Which is unfortunately because Captain Marvel is one of my absolute favorite movies! And I’m well aware she was introduced in Endgame while CM was being drafted, but that in itself is annoying?? Because Carol was originally going to be introduced in AoU, but was cut because it wasn’t going to introduce her character properly. And yet they decide to introduce her character in a clusterfuck of a movie before her movie is in the final stages, and proceed to release her movie first and then give a complete different characterization in her following appearance

honestly I just wanna cover this now to clarify some things regarding Carter and her backstory: the only reason I keep Endgame as is is because it felt easier for me to do so for the purpose of bending canon for specific threads. I wanted to stay as true to the given plots as possible to help with fudging of both the movies and her background, and also because I didn’t want anyone to feel like I was trying to force my own headcanons onto them, y’know? 

I’m just gonna plug this here because fuck it lol, but I did start a fix-it fic regarding Endgame that you can read here! I... probably won’t finish it tbh, and I haven’t gone over it in a hot minute so it might be riddled with errors ahah - plus I’m not sure about how I wrote the characters! I get nervous when writing canon characters because I feel like I’ll miss their characterization completely, which is actually why I,,, rarely rp canon characters dgfjhgsfdhj

also the image in the doc was created by @/archervale!! 

[tansypoisoning]

Scrappy Doo

You got in trouble often, and it showed. Worse than every bruise and cut, though, was your front door neighbor’s concern. He didn’t know you; he was too busy to know you. You wished he would stop pretending he cared so you could move on with your life in peace, and never have to deal with intrusive thoughts of what it would be like to have a room in his heart.

Me, writing fluff? More likely than you think (and yet not that likely). This is my entry for @jtargaryen18​‘s “30 Days of Chris” I’m just trying to branch out a little, and since J’s fics tend to end up being really sweet even if they don’t start that way… Well, I thought I’d go for some sweetness too. Ended up calling out myself in this xD. Anyway, I would appreciate if you guys let me know if you think this is okay. Don’t judge the name too harshly please xD

Fandoms: MCU

Genre: Fluff? Hurt/Comfort? Things you wouldn’t expect from me, I guess.

Ships: Steve Rogers x Reader

Word Count: 3166

Warnings: Mentions of violence and injury, some blood, non-graphic descriptions of wound dressing

The bits of bandage and specks of blood in the sink were piling up worryingly fast. You had looked at them to take your eyes and mind of the gash in your arm, but you reckoned you should’ve just closed them.

“One of these days you’re going to lose your head,” The woman in front of you grumbled as she weaved needle and thread through your flesh “and I’m not going to put you back together, I swear.”

You tried to tell her ‘If anyone could it’s you, Molly’, but the stiff thrown pillow stolen from her couch so you’d have something to bite muddled the words to the point none of them were recognizable.

You ground your teeth on the linen with every new puncture, your fingers gripping the edge of the counter like a lifeline. It hurt, but you’d be okay. You’d been through worse. Your love of hiking, parkour, urban exploration, political activism and doing good recklessly (emphasis on the reckless bit), meant you often found yourself beaten and bruised and wounded and just fucked up in general, but it was all worth it. Just last week you’d rescued a woman’s purse! Molly didn’t share your enthusiasm.

“I should really charge you for this,” she complained. She said it every time you showed at her doorstep, and every time she would put you back together free of charge.

Nick by nick, all your wounds were dressed and you were good to go. You dropped the pillowcase in the washing machine before making your way to the door.

“Seriously, you gotta start being more careful.” Your friend called. “I get that you can’t always help it, but…. jumping on a rusty ladder, are you kidding me?”

“I can’t make any promises!” You smiled sheepishly and she rolled her eyes “Thank you, Molly. I really appreciate it.”

She sighed, but her lips curled upwards nonetheless “Yeah, I know. I expect to see you again in a week.”

“You know I’ll visit regardless!”

“Hopefully not bleeding!” She yelled just as you turned around to jog back to your apartment complex just across the street. The walk was familiar, if a little uncomfortable. Your bruised legs hurt as you climbed up the stairs, but you were smiling all the way.

You had just shoved the key in the lock when the door across from your place opened, and someone behind you sighed.

“Again?”

You whirled around on the balls of your feet, arms raised in preparation to salute the other person on the hall with you.

“Hello, captain!” You greeted cheerfully, resting your hand against your forehead.

Captain America’s look of disappointment could make just about everyone wilt, and you weren’t the exception. In fact, maybe you were even weaker to it than the average person.

“What happened this time?” He asked.

“Urban exploration,” you said, your voice losing a considerable amount of volume and enthusiasm “I was on some ladders when they broke down.”

The lines of his forehead deepened. No, this wasn’t disappointment; it was concern. That was somehow worse.

Who the hell was he to be concerned about you? He didn’t know you; he was too busy to know you.

“I’m okay, though. Nothing broken or anything.”

“You got stitches.”

You shrugged. “Stitches, schmeeches.”

He didn’t find it amusing. “And you’re still going on these expeditions alone.”

“Well, who else am I gonna do them with?” Most of your friends lived too far away, and the ones who lived near had no interest in your little misadventures.

Steve didn’t answer. He likely didn’t have an answer, but he also didn’t have the decency to wipe that look of faux worry off his face.

“And how are your expeditions on the culture going?” You used his silence to direct the conversation to a more pleasant topic.

You didn’t know much about Captain America – he didn’t really let himself be known – but living across from him had given you some insight on his life. Given he’d been stuck on ice for seventy years, it was no wonder he’d needed help to acclimate to the radically different world he had woken up in. He got used to the social and political changes with surprising ease, and it didn’t take him long to acquire a passable understanding of current technology. What he struggled with was pop culture.

You had been his media dealer for a few months now, supplying him with an endless stream of movies, series and music (some of which of questionable legality, but he didn’t need to know that). He had told you of his difficulty finding some of the things people had urged him to look into, and you offered to help him with that. You used the opportunity to introduce him to some things that you liked, because it was always nice to have another person to talk to about these things.

“It’s been going,” he said, and you were happy to see his expression softening “slowly, but it’s been going. Thank you for the Prince songs, by the way.”

“You’re so welcome,” you answered with a grin. He had initially given priority to media other people had suggested to him, but he’d been getting around to your things in the last two months or so “Have you watched Mr. Rogers Neighborhood yet?”

“Not yet.”

“You really should. Fred Rogers might be the one person who beats Steve Rogers at the whole ‘being a good human being’ thing.”

“Maybe that’s why I’m putting it off,” he smiled, but it was short-lived as he stopped to clear his throat. “I gotta go now.”

“Okay,” you nodded and stepped back to press your back against the wall. The hall was almost too small for the two of you. “Gotta rush to save the World, huh?”

“Something like that,” he said as he moved toward the stairs, but he turned back to you as he reached the railing. “Take care of yourself, okay?”

You recoiled at his words. “Sure.” You answered stiffly, then rushed to open your door before he could say anything else. You didn’t need this. This fake concern, those empty words… You much preferred hostility, that was at least less confusing, less painful.

It really was stupid of you to nurture such a silly crush. Steve was just your front door neighbor. The sooner you accepted that, the better.

Molly wasn’t home, and she wasn’t picking up her phone. Where the fuck was she? It’s not like she had an obligation to help you out, yes, but… She always did help, and now she had to pick the worst possible moment to go M.IA.

The walk up to your apartment was familiar and painful. You were worried about your right arm; it wouldn’t move, and whenever you tried to touch it, it hurt. Could it be broken? You hoped not, but if anyone could be sure, that person was Molly. And she always picked up.

Your key was in your backpack, so you had to take it off before you could open your door. You tried to be quiet, but when the strap brushed your injured arm you couldn’t help but yelp.

Your neighbor’s door opened instantly, and at such a speed you felt the air in the room being rearranged. Steve’s gasp behind you only made you feel worse.

“What happened to you?”

“Nothing,” you sniffed “I’m fine.”

“No you’re not.” There was a pause and then a hand was at your right arm, squeezing it as if to turn you around. You were loathe to show any weakness in front of him, but it hurt too much. You howled, tears slipping from the corners of your eyes, and Steve let go. He walked around you, coming to stand in front of you. He didn’t look angry at all, just deeply concerned.

Great. You didn’t need this shit on top of everything else.

“Steve, let me get into my home.”

“Where’s Molly?”

“I don’t know,” you whined. It was getting harder and harder to keep the little composure you still had “Please let me in, Steve.”

“I’m taking you to the hospital.” His voice brooked no arguments, and something about it was too much for you.

You broke down with one sob, then several more, and the look on Steve’s face only grew more worried. “I don’t know if I can afford it.”

“I’m paying,” he said, and you were about to tell him no, but he didn’t give you the chance: “This is serious. You can’t wait this out. I’m taking you and I’m paying for it. Do you need me to carry you or can you walk on your own?”

You wiped at your tears with your good hand and nodded. “Yeah, I can walk.”

You followed Steve out of the building, pausing ever-so-often. Steve would wait for you whenever you did, not once complaining or frowning. He helped you into his car and buckled you in.

“Are you going to tell me what happened?” He asked once he’d settled in the driver’s seat.

“I don’t want to.”

He took a deep breath as if he wanted to say something, but he didn’t press the issue. You didn’t want to talk about the incident, but you didn’t know what else to talk about, so you kept quiet. Steve didn’t speak much either, occasionally asking you for updates on your state, but otherwise letting the radio do the speaking for you. The songs playing were ones you’d recommended to him, you noticed.

The trip to the hospital was longer than the waiting in the lobby, and thankfully that wasn’t very long. Steve remained outside while you were being patched up. You were glad for it. Having to explain your wounds to the staff was already bad enough, you didn’t need him to hear it as well.

You left the hospital in bandages and with a cast on your right arm. Despite the weight of the plaster, you felt a hundred times lighter, knowing you’d gotten the care you needed for free. Steve didn’t share your enthusiasm. He sighed when he saw you walk out of the room, and you felt your smile slip just a little.

The two of you were quiet when you entered the car. Steve drove in absolute silence for about two minutes before you thought to thank him – and you really were thankful, but thanking him almost seemed a waste. He looked so frustrated, just like everyone else when it came to you. Reckless, hasty, imprudent, you should just know your limits and not go past them. You should just stop doing the things that made you happy and the things you felt were needed because you would get scratched in the protest. That’s what everyone said. You couldn't imagine a super-human who put his life in graver danger every day being any more understanding.

You were about to bite the bullet and thank him, but Steve opened his mouth before you could: “You’re kind of like Scrappy Doo.”

“What?” All your previous feelings of goodwill vanished from you like the air in a popped balloon.

“I started watching some of the cartoons you-”

“I’m surprised you’re even here if I’m such a burden.”

It was his turn to look incensed. “What are you talking about?”

“Scrappy Doo. Am I seriously that much of an annoyance to you?”

“No!” He took his eyes from the road for a brief moment to direct them at you. “I was making a reference. Isn’t that what people like to do nowadays?”

“You compared me to a character everyone hates.”

“I don’t. And I don’t know why anyone would.”

“That’s not-” Your words didn’t come to you as fluidly as you would like them to.  “It doesn’t matter. He’s an annoyance and only ever makes things worse.”

“Is that what you think of yourself?”

“No, that’s just what everyone else thinks of me.”

You looked at the rear view mirror to see him frowning. “Who told you that?”

“You don’t have to tell me anything.” Of course he didn’t. If you were a nuisance to normal people, imagine how pathetic you must’ve seemed to someone as strong as Steve.

“I-” Whatever he was going to say he interrupted with a shake of his head and a sigh. “I shouldn’t say you remind me of Scrappy Doo. Rather… you remind me of me.”

It was your turn to frown. “You?”

“Before I was recruited for the serum program, I used to be very small. Short, frail… that didn’t stop me from getting in trouble whenever I saw injustice. I thought it was wrong to let bullies go unchallenged, even though I knew I couldn’t win. I always had to get rescued, but I kept doing it because I knew it was the right thing to do.”

“And then you got jacked and that helped a lot.”

He laughed. “I’m way better at doing helping out nowadays, but even so… I don’t think you’re an annoyance. I worry about you because I used to get in the same sort of trouble. I ask you to be careful because I’m afraid you won’t come back home one day.”

Your heart leaped in your chest, and then you remembered you had been there before. That wouldn't be the first time someone pretended to care for you on a personal level, then abandoned you when it wasn’t convenient anymore.

“You don’t really know me, Steve. I get if you’re worried about me just like you’re worried about everyone else, but I would rather… It feels fake, you know? Like you’re just helping me because I’m right there, and if one day I didn’t come home you’d just go on worrying about everyone else.”

“No, I-” He started, then cut himself off to huff. “I can’t talk about this while I’m driving. Hold on.”

You were quiet as Steve turned into a side street, darker and quiet than the one you were on. He looked around until he found a place to park, and then turned to you once the engine was off and the key was out of the ignition.

“I do care about everyone. If I was neighbors with someone else and they got hurt as often as you, I would worry and I would help them however I could, but I wouldn't feel the same way I feel about you. If you suddenly didn’t come back I- Why would you think I don’t care?”

“I just don’t see why you would. We only talk when we meet in the hallway, and you don’t look at the things I reccomend you, because you never talk about it.”

“I was watching Scooby Doo when you showed up.” Steve said, and there was an edge of frustration to his voice “Whenever I’m home I’m looking at the things you gave me. I don’t have as much time to learn about the things you like as I wish I had. I don’t have as much time and energy to know you as I wish I did. And you-” He stopped himself and shook his head. “Nevermind. I don’t want to do this when you’re injured.”

“No, tell me.” You and Steve were finally conversing rather than exchanging pleasantries. Now that you were being honest with each other, you didn’t think you could go back to how things were before. “I told you I wanted honesty. And whatever it is you’ve got to say, I bet won’t hurt more than this fucking thing.” And you pointed at your injured am.

He hesitated. He looked back and forth from you to the windshield, then swallowed hard before proceeding. “You put up a wall. I couldn't get you to talk to me about your injuries for months, and every time I ask you to be careful, you brush it off. It’s like you don’t want me to know anything about you.”

You considered his words for a second, then your own feelings for a moment longer. You couldn’t pretend it was just because you didn’t want to be a burden. “This is going to sound weird, but I’m scared I can’t trust you?” You turn to him. His brows are scrunched together, and he almost looks to be in pain. “I know, right? If you can’t trust Captain America, who are you gonna trust?” Your chuckle sounded hollow to your years.

Steve shook his head as his right hand moved from the wheel to latch onto your left wrist. His hold was gentle, and you knew you could pull away if you wanted to. You didn’t want to. “I thought you disliked me.”

His words sent a shock through you. Dislike him? How could he think that when the truth was the exact opposite? Then it dawned on you that you really had avoided him. Whenever he tried to get you to open up you deterred his efforts, like you really didn’t like him, like you didn’t want to know him. You did, you just… You were just afraid of what could happen if you let him in too deep.

“That’s funny.” You said, even though it wasn’t. “I was so scared you wouldn't like me, or you would stop liking me, that I didn’t even give you the chance to do that.”

He was quick to respond: “No. I could’ve talked about different things-”

“It wouldn’t have worked.” You said. The words came to you easily, products of an epiphany rather than a thought. They’re not a product of your own reason, rather a universal truth. “It’s not your job to chip at my barriers. I was avoiding you, I was fighting this. Why would you keep pushing if I gave nothing back?”

“I don’t know why you put up walls.” Steve’s fingers skimmed against your skin. Was he still afraid his touch wasn’t welcome? “You must have your reasons, and I’m not going to ask them. I want to be someone you can trust, but I can’t make you trust me. Do you think… Do you think we could make this work? I’d like to get to know you, if you’re okay with that.”

You pulled your hand from his. His shoulders slumped, but he looked up when you entwined your fingers with his. His surprise was evident, and behind it, subtler, there was something else. You didn’t know what it was, but something in his expression sent your heart fluttering.

“I would like that too.” You said, smiling at the same time he did. “And you can let me know when you’re free so we can watch some series together, and you can explain to me how the hell you don’t hate Scrappy Doo.”

He laughs and squeezes your fingers in his. His touch is reassuring, and you feel nostalgic. You remember your childhood bedroom, and being snug under covers while a hand ran through your hair. Safe. That was the last time you had felt this safe.

[redvanillabee]

MCU Phase 4: S.W.O.R.D and the Collapse of the Multiverse

I’ve been seeing a lot of theories about Phase 4 floating around, and with the finale of Agents of SHIELD, I reckon I’d collate all the theories here, as well as add in a few of my own theories, and get a feel of what Phase 4 might hold for us.

WARNING: contains slight Agents of SHIELD S7 spoilers.

1. Leaving Endgame: unresolved issues

The infinity Saga (Phases 1-3) ended with Avengers: Endgame. Regardless of how you feel about the narrative, the film wraps up the story based around Thanos’ encroachment on earth. So that should leave no loose threads, right? No world-bending problems left to resolve?

WRONG.

Avengers: Endgame actually left a lot of paradoxes and loopholes. There are objects remove and added into different points of time, characters killing their past selves, etc.

These problems with their Time Heist can’t just be left there, unattended. These paradoxes also can’t be brushed aside simply with a “new timeline” theory. As we learnt in Agents of SHIELD Seasons 5&7, while time can indeed be changed, there will still be paradoxes, which will result in anything from confusion to deaths and destruction.

Are the Marvel execs that stupid? That they would painstakingly explain the logistics of time travel to the audience in the film, then blatantly break all their own rules? Even mass-market films aren’t that stupid. Especially not ones by a studio that is known for planting Easter eggs and somehow planned a whole 10-year, 22-film franchise.

Rather, I believe this is a pantomime moment. Remember, the Thanos storyline--the Infinity Saga--may be over, but the MCU is far from it. I believe they are leaving behind these gaping holes in the spacetime continuum, luring the audience to point at the screen and shout out the inconsistencies, to name the problems themselves. So let us peel back the story, and identify those time-travel and inter-dimensional problems ourselves.

2. Far From Home is our primer for Phase 4

Here’s the funny thing: Far From Home is classified as the last film of Phase 3, with Black Widow as the first film of Phase 4. But narratively, it seems odd to class FFH as part of Phase 3, stringing it with the rest of the infinity Saga. Apart from the plot thread with Tony Stark, what does FFH have to do with the main premise of the Infinity Saga?

This awkward position of FFH might make sense if we view it not just as part of Phase 3, but as that transition instalment between Phases 3 and 4. On the one hand, FFH continues its legacy from the Infinity Saga, by physically having Peter inherit something from Stark, arguably the lead star of the Infinity Saga. At the same time, FFH melds that with a whole new element that will bring us forward: the idea of dealing with threats from not just different points in time, but different realities altogether. Even though Mysterio isn’t really from another dimension, Pandora’s Box is now open. This idea has officially been introduced into the MCU, and as we will find out later, there are heavy suggestions of the MCU going in the direction of inter-dimensional threats.

FFH also bridges the past by reintroducing to us the idea of an overarching organisation governing or monitoring the actions of the superheroes. As mentioned above, MCU superheroes have been freelance superheroes since Apr 2014, with the fall of SHIELD in Winter Soldier. However, with FFH, we see a return of... well, some kind of SHIELD, with the intervention of Fury and Hill. Granted, this is not really SHIELD. Fury and Hill, as we find out in FFH, are impersonated by Skrulls. Regardless, an authoritative organisation has been reestablished in the MCU. The return of ““SHIELD”“ also gives FFH the feel of Iron Man 2/ The Avengers (2012), harkening back to the early days of the Infinity Saga, which I would say is rather appropriate for opening a whole new arc. And, as I will explore below, we might be seeing more of SHIELD in MCU’s future.

(Incidentally, is Peter Parker supposed to know that, for what it’s worth, Nick Fury is supposed to be “dead”?)

FFH is not the first time MCU has played with alternate dimensions, of course. The Ancient One has introduced the idea of borrowing powers from alternate dimensions going as far back as Doctor Strange (2016). But during that film, they have left it at a tease. However, it seems that we might finally be meeting alternate versions of our known reality.

3. Black Widow: Taskmaster is a little too familiar

While we still haven’t seen the Black Widow standalone (damn you coronavirus),  based on what we know from trailers, BW will likely follow FFH’s angle of bridging elements of the past (e.g. a secret organisation with Fury at the helm) while introducing elements from the future (alternate dimensions), But this time, Mama Spider is going to kick it up a notch.

Firstly, it seems that BW might be introducing a nemesis to the SHIELD-equivalent in Phase 4. In the Infinity Saga, the main villain--at least when SHIELD was a thing--was HYDRA. With the fall of SHIELD, the last of the HYDRA bases are also wiped out of the MCU at the start of Age of Ultron.

(If you go with Agents of SHIELD, Thanos is very very vaguely connected to HYDRA, what with him being known to/ part of(?) the Confederacy, who are working with HYDRA).

So what will be the main villain in Phase 4? BW trailers focus very heavily on reconnecting with the past, which reminds me of how FFH calls back to Fury being in charge of the big picture. But in BW, it seems that a reconnection is also made with shady characters. There is a lot of discussion about Natasha’s Red Room past, of other Black Widow graduates. There are grey areas, and the focus on reconnecting to the Red Room reminds me of the “the other Winter Soldiers” arc from CACW, as well as the Dottie Underwood arc in Agent Carter season 1. Will the Red Room be our new HYDRA? Or... are they just a smokescreen?

Because there’s the Taskmaster, and they are very strange indeed. We know nothing about the Taskmaster--their motives, their affiliations, their goals--but they already strikes an eerie chord with the audience. They seem to be an amalgamation of so many notable heroes in the MCU. Why would a villain just... happen to be a combination of so many MCU heroes? Or could the Taskmaster be paving the way to how the Madness of Multiverse “may reportedly feature alternate-reality versions of known MCU characters”?

First Mysterio, and now the Taskmaster. The threat in Phase 4 is gaining steam, and is gearing up to be a force that can only be defeated if the superheroes are once again brought together. The Avengers was initially designed by SHIELD, but were brought together by Loki’s invasion (and Coulson’s death). But where are they now? Who will take up the mantle of the fallen? Who will be there to unite the forces needed? 

4. SHIELD, TVA, and SWORD

For those who only watch the films of the MCU (like myself until recently), SHIELD has not been a legal organisation since April 2014, and has been completely out of the picture in the MCU since April 2015. However, the organisation has actually been hard at work behind the scenes since.

The actual events in Agents of SHIELD, being so separated from the MCU, are not strictly relevant to the discussion and prediction of Phase 4. What we need to know is that: following a series of events that turned them legitimate, then illegitimate, then legitimate again, SHIELD should be a legitimate organisation again by the time of FFH.

(Side note:

There is some debate as to whether Agents of SHIELD is still taking place in the same timeline as the MCU. I personally like to think yes, AOS is still taking place in the same timeline as the MCU. Some have argued that the Snappening never happened in AOS, and when Daisy stopped Talbot from destroying Earth at the end of Season 5, that launched AOS into a branching timeline. However, I would argue that they are in the same timeline because Daisy stopped Talbot. Based on the words of the alien Confederacy, it does not seem that the Snappening and Talbot are two inter-dependent events. If Talbot had cracked the Earth in half, it wouldn’t matter what the outcome of Infinity War was, because, well, there’d be no Earth. There’d be no Endgame. So in my opinion, Agents of SHIELD, as it closes in 2020, is in the same timeline as the MCU, at which point the Avengers would have been moping about losing half of Earth’s population. As for the fact that none of the AOS team got dusted... the OG6 Avengers also didn’t get dusted, and the AOS team was small. I think we can let that slide.)

(Besides, if timelines really are going to be fucked up, as we will see below, then it really doesn’t matter if AOS and the Infinity Saga are in the same timeline. They can just cross over into each others’.)

But SHIELD’s reach, after all, is limited. Even Fury did not have a handle on Carol Danvers as she spent 23 years (1995-2018) just roaming the Universe as a space vigilante. With the jurisdiction of the MCU heroes now extending beyond time, space, and dimensions, we will need authorities in space. Maybe some kind of... ambassadors from earth.

In the Agents of SHIELD series finale, Marvel threw us a bone. As the team part ways after their final mission together, Daisy, Sousa (yes that Sousa from that Agent Carter), and Kora take to space, as some kind of SHIELD representative. The showrunners teased the audience by having Sousa describe their little unit as the “Astro Ambassadors”, but the audience immediately know what to ask for: SWORD. SWORD, according the MCU Wikia, stands for Sentient World Observation and Response Department, and is a “subdivision of SHIELD”. In fact, I believe we will be seeing more of SWORD in Phase 4. And with the release of the latest WandaVision trailer, we know that SWORD with Monica Rambeau as one of its agents is definitely going to be a thing.

Even if, EVEN IF, SHIELD and SWORD aren’t going to be a thing in Phase 4, we still have another authority that will be very interested in all these alternate dimension business going on around Earthlings. In what little we know of the Loki standalone TV show, it seems the Time Variance Authority will be part of it. Time, space, dimensions, these will all be threatened in Phase 4.

5. Steve Rogers and Corrupted Timeline Theory

By this point, if we are keeping score, we know space and time in the MCU is fucked up. Timelines are messed up, left in paradoxes, and people are just travelling everywhere and anywhere they fancy. Loki. Natasha. Astro Ambassadors.

And then there’s Steve Rogers.

Since the end of Endgame, a theory has been gaining steam that the actual Steve Rogers is stuck in the Quantum Realm, and whoever/whatever Old Steve is, it is a corrupted version of him. Please click through and take a look at the brief post about how Steve may be trapped in the time stream. It is an excellent analysis on how Steve could be a central indicator to all these time/space/dimensional tomfoolery.

6. What to expect

Here’s what I think is going to happen:

Following the primer that is Far From Home, Black Widow will continue to push the idea of interdimensional threats a notch further. Things that should be resolved, things from the past, are coming back to haunt us. Things start to get uncanny. The Taskmaster’s powers are too familiar. It’s all a little eerie.

Meanwhile in Marvel TV land, things go from “still earthly” to downright insane. The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, in all likelihood, will be the most earth-based of the Marvel TV shows, kind of like how the Cap trilogy is the most earth-based, with the least amount of sci-fi invention compared with the Iron Man trilogy and Thor saga. However, since Sam Wilson and Bucky Barnes are the two people closest to Steve, one literally inheriting his mantle, it might be in this show that we see more signs of reality being corrupted through iterations of Steve.

WandaVision is a result of both anomaly!Steve, as well as the many timeline problems left in Endgame. In WandaVision, Wanda and Vision find themselves flung through so many alternate realities. The anomalies in spacetime catches the attention of the authorities, in this case, Monica Rambeau and SWORD. We officially have our overarching authority for Phase 4.

The madness in time and space goes even further when Loki, now armed with the Space Stone and somehow looking like his Thor 1 (2011) self again, just... Loki-s it all up. Making jumps. Causing chaos through human history. General Loki shenanigans. The disturbance that this causes alerts an authority higher than SWORD: the Time Variance Authority.

This is also an excellent time to reintegrate the Marvel TV Universe back into the MCU, after having them split off from the MCU in 2013 and 2015. There is a very special cameo in Endgame, an Easter egg reserved only for those who have watched the Marvel TV spin-offs. “James D’Arcy’s cameo as Edwin Jarvis in Avengers: Endgame marks the first time a Marvel Cinematic Universe character introduced in a television production has crossed over into the films.“ Of course, there is no promise that just because they have brought Jarvis from Agent Carter over to Endgame, that they will bring others into the MCU in a similar fashion. But with Marvel Studios/Disney+ branching officially into making their own TV shows (instead of collaborating with ABC/Netflix), we can expect more crossings between the TV shows and the films. With the door now open with Edwin Jarvis, characters from AOS can rather easily be integrated into Phase 4 shows. And, if Daniel Sousa, a character that was last seen in 2016, can somehow be brought forward in a miraculous time escapade, there is no reason why other Agent Carter elements can’t be.

Time, space, dimension, reality, are now all fucked up beyond recognition. The hints of alternate reality characters? They are now coming in full-swing. There will be “alternate-reality versions of known MCU characters“. Marvel’s What If? cartoon ties into this as basically some kind of MCU fever dream: what if skinny Steve had an Iron Man suit? What if Peggy Carter was Captain America? It’s all out of the window by this point.

Captain Marvel 2, being likely set between earth and space, can easily fit into this whole development. Arguably, same for Thor: Love and Thunder. The events in space can rather easily tie into all these inter-dimensional madness. (And if Marvel Studios stop being a coward, they will let Carol Danvers date Dr. Thor).

Fun fact: SWORD was apparently mentioned as early as a deleted scene from Thor (2011).

With the world on the brink of universal collapse, we finally enter Doctor Strange: Madness of Multiverse. In the first Doctor Strange film, we’ve only seen one alternate dimension: Dark Dimension (Dormammu). In the Madness of Multiverse? Get ready for the Actinaria Dimension. The Grass Jelly Dimension. The Flowering Incense Dimension. The Mandelibus Dimension. Btw I’m not making these dimensions up. They are all introduced in the Marvel Studios Visual Dictionary.

Endgame may have ended Thanos’ arc, but it is only the beginning for a whole new chapter of the MCU. Years ago... probably around the time of CACW, I read a meta that discussed how Marvel might be taking the MCU in the direction of a “collapse of the multiverse”. That was predicted to happen in Infinity War/Endgame. While the Universe did not implode in Endgame, the world also doesn’t... necessarily settle into peace at the end of Endgame. To borrow what a friend of mine said,

Aren’t the other timelines just as doomed as the OG timeline where the Thanos snapped ... and the stones [are] gone in the end?

Like if we assume that they came up with the same idea for every other fucked timeline, then we would just end up with even more alternate timelines, and even more fucked timelines

and it becomes endless

Is this why it’s called Infinity War lmao

As we learnt in Agents of SHIELD Season 7, if a timeline is mucked up, actions must be taken to help it settle, if not restore it to its original form, otherwise there will be grim consequences. Between the milieu of timelines created by the Avengers and the Agents of SHIELD, I think Doctor Strange has his work cut out for him in Madness of Multiverse.

Madness indeed.

-----

Further Reading

‘I’m a storyteller, I know when I am in one’ — John Watson, Series Four, and Authorial Intent 

Pantomime moments of the storyteller leaving gaping holes for the audience to point out are very common. In this piece, I explore how that technique is used in BBC Sherlock’s Season Four. While it looked like the showrunners are breaking all storytelling rules, they are doing it for a very sound reason.

Don’t Mourn — Avengers: Infinity War and the Five-Act Structure

Aka that time I wrote 7k words on the narrative structure of the Infinity Saga that is somehow still gaining clicks and reads on Medium.

[ordinaryschmuck]

What I thought about the MCU (Phase One)

I love Marvel. More specifically, I love Marvel movies. And more specific than that, I love Marvel movies in the Marvel Cinematic Universe (with the occasional Deadpool from the X-Men universe). Within eleven years, we have gotten twenty-three movies. Most of them successful, with a few cracks in the armor here and there. And I want to show my love for this success by reviewing each movie in their respective phase. But I'm going to be doing things a little differently than others before me. I'm going to rank each film from worst to best in each phase of the MCU. After I get through all three phases, I'll rank them all from worst to best, with only a sentence explaining my ranking. With that said, let's get started, shall we?

6th: The Incredible Hulk (5/10)

I wish that I could be that guy who says The Incredible Hulk is an underrated masterpiece that doesn't deserve any of its hate...but I'm not, and it isn't. Don't get me wrong, I do love the first few minutes, I love how the Hulk is presented as a danger rather than a hero, and there is some decent visual storytelling on display. Seriously, there are scenes with little to no dialogue, and it is easy to tell what's going on in the characters' heads from their movements and expressions. Which is a treat, because the lines aren't great, and the delivery is not any better. It's worse with Liv Tyler as Betty Ross, who has two different speech patterns: Shouting and sounding like a robot pretending to be human. Plus, the CGI is butt ugly in this movie, and it's easily the worst in the MCU. Say what you want about Black Panther and it’s CGI, but at least the hero and villain don't look like ugly green blobs punching each other. If you think it's Incredible, more power to you. For me, it's just...meh.

5th-Iron Man 2 (5/10)

I actually like this movie. Or, at least, I like parts of this movie. I like the performances, the action, and a couple of well-handled scenes. For example, the party scene is actually pretty decent as it shows how irresponsible a hero can be when drunk, even if the latter half of it becomes a rock'em sock'em robots fight. Separately, scenes like this work. It's when they're put together does the movie fall flat. There are too many plot points and story threads to follow that the movie becomes a jumbled mess as a result. Also, Sam Rockwell's Justin Hammer is just a dweeb of a villain. Which is a shame because I can see how he can be the perfect foil for Tony Stark. It's just that he lacks a lot of the charisma that RDJ gives his own character. But an even bigger shame is the underutilization of Mickey Rourke as Whiplash, who seems like a unique villain that I would have loved to see more of. But instead, we just get some jerkoff in a suit. That being said, I still don't think Iron Man 2 is as bad as people claim it to be. Yeah, it's bottom five, for sure, but that doesn't mean it isn’t irredeemable.

4th-Thor (6/10)

WHAT IS UP WITH THE EXCESSIVE DUTCH ANGLE SHOTS?! Seriously, was the majority of the movie shot on a hill? Did the crew lost a wheel on one of the cameras and decided to roll with it? Why does it keep happening?!

A dutch angle shot only works if you're showing something cool. NOT whenever you feel like it! 

With that said...this movie is ok. There are some good things to like. Chris Hemsworth definitely has the physique of a Norse god, there are some well-handled comedic moments, and the action is pretty cool at times. It's just that the supporting cast is a little bland, and Thor is not Loki's best appearance. Tom Hiddleston certainly nails the trickster character, but the chaotic personality doesn't really let loose until future movies. Still, I think Thor is fine. And definitely better than Thor: The Dark World.

3rd-Iron Man (7/10)

What can I say about this movie that hasn't been said already? Robert Downey Jr. is still the definitive Iron Man, the acting is top-notch, the action is even better, the CGI still holds up to this day, and the story is pretty amazing...for the most part. The stuff with Jeff Bridges as Iron Monger, while not as bad as everyone else says, is still not as engaging as everything else. Personally, I don't hate him, and I think the final fight between this giant robot man with a tiny robot man is still pretty entertaining. I can maybe see why others wouldn't be as entertained, but that doesn't change how this film is a great start for something big.

2nd-Captain America: The First Avenger (7.5/10)

Now, THIS is an underrated movie...for the most part. I can see why some people can be less than thrilled about certain aspects of this movie, but I can still argue why those aspects don't bother me. Yes, it becomes a cliche action movie halfway through, but at least the action is cool. Yes, the scene where Captain America becomes a dancing monkey is embarrassing, but at least that song slaps. Yes, Red Skull is boringly evil for the sake of an evil villain, but he's a nazi. What were you expecting? The intricate reasons for why he's a nazi? And yes, Captain America's reasoning for crashing the plain is stupid, but...it at least give us two more awesome movies?

Alright, that one I'll give to you.

Regardless, I still consider this my favorite Captain America movie. Because it has moments that come to mind when I think of our star-spangled man. He's the guy who jumps on a grenade to save his fellow soldiers without an ounce of hesitation. He's the guy who will continue to do the right thing, no matter how hard it might be. And he's the guy who has a sense of humor, but not overly quippy like other characters. I'll admit that the other two movies are better, but as for which one has what I love about Captain America, it would have to be his very first adventure as the First Avenger.

1st-The Avengers (9.5/10)

At first, this movie has nothing more than cool action and corny jokes, some funnier than others. But by the time the film reaches The Battle of New York, that's when it goes from a good movie to a great one! Every film before The Avengers has been building up to this gigantic fight. With The Avengers hyping itself up as well. And trust me when I say: It's worth it. Add that with some fun characters with phenomenal chemistry fighting Loki at his best, then you've got yourself one hell of a movie.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

And that's all of the movies in phase one. I'll see you soon as I talk about phase two.

[aion-rsa]

WandaVision Episode 9: The Big Questions We Need Answered

https://ift.tt/eA8V8J

This article contains WandaVision spoilers.

With just one episode left in the season – and technically the series – the finale of WandaVision has a lot of ground to cover.

Its penultimate installment was not just a heartbreaking retrospective of just how terrible Wanda’s life has been and how much she has suffered, it gave us an entirely new understanding of a character that’s been part of this universe for four feature films to date. Plus, there’s the whole thing where a secret government agency appears to have reanimated Vision’s dead body to use as a weapon, and Wanda herself is most likely a legendary, all-powerful witch. 

How the series plans to wrap up these dangling plot threads in addition to laying the groundwork for the upcoming Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness and establishing what comes next is anyone’s guess. But there are a few things that WandaVision is going to have to tell us in order for this series to truly stick the landing as the MCU’s most ambitious – and best – project yet. (Which right now, with one episode to go, is a title it wins by a mile.)

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Here are nine burning questions we need the WandaVision finale to answer.

What is the Scarlet Witch?

In an episode filled almost to bursting with surprisingly rich callbacks to multiple MCU films, the biggest moment was still probably Wanda being directly referred to as the Scarlet Witch for the first time. But what that actually means is anyone’s guess. 

Sure, she’s powerful enough to literally rewrite reality and turn a run-down New Jersey town into a classic sitcom paradise. But that’s not exactly news – she did destroy an Infinity Stone and almost take down Thanos in the Avengers movies. Agatha bestows the name upon her as though it means something significant, as if Wanda’s some sort of magical harbinger that has a larger role to play in…something (and the Scarlet Witch costume Wanda sees in her vision would seem to back that up). But who or what is she?

What Does Agatha Harkness Actually Want?

Most of us have assumed that Agatha Harkness must technically be the Big Bad of WandaVision – I mean, the song says that she’s been pulling every evil string, c’mon – but “Previously On” hints that may not entirely be the case. The creation of Westview was clearly a result of Wanda’s chaos magic, so…what is Agatha doing there? And what is her ultimate goal?

Has she sought Wanda out simply to determine where her power comes from? To try and steal it for herself? To suss out another powerful witch to become besties with? (Agatha was Wanda’s mentor in the comics.) 

Are we meant to read Agatha as a true villain – or something more complicated? I mean, she does put Wanda’s kids in choke collar leashes, but whether that’s out of a desire to protect herself from the Scarlet Witch or to use her in some way is still unclear.

Is Vision Somehow Alive Again?

Well, there go our theories that poor Wanda has just been puppeting her dead boyfriend’s corpse around Westview (thankfully – that idea was always dark af). Instead, it appears that this is more of a Vision 2.0, a being created by a combination of an incredibly powerful dose of Wanda’s chaos magic, her memories of the man she loved, and the overwhelming grief she can’t seem to control.  But does that mean Vision is actually alive? Like, could appear in another MCU film, alive?  And if so, why can’t he leave the boundaries of the Hex? Does he even have a physical body, or is his form just a Wanda-powered projection?

What is Tyler Hayward’s Endgame – and Why Is He Trying to Blame Wanda for it?

One of the biggest revelations in “Previously On” was that Wanda did not, in fact, storm into SWORD headquarters and steal back her boyfriend’s dead body. Instead, she actually experienced a quietly shattering moment of grief in which she accepted that the Vision she loved was truly gone. So…why did SWORD director Tyler Hayward not only insist that she did, he literally put together a deep fake video to prove it?

Hayward has been a fairly shady figure since he first appeared on WandaVision, but this is some next-level mustache-twirling stuff. Has he just been trying to turn Vision’s body into a weapon – seemingly mission accomplished there – or has he been crafting a much larger and more nefarious scheme? 

After all, he is on record as hating the superpowered beings that he believes are responsible for both the Snap that erased half the population and the Blip that brought everyone back but ultimately devastated those left behind in the meantime. Is the White Vision his revenge on Wanda – and those like her – in some way? (Truly, so many problems could be solved in the universe of the MCU if people just got some help for their PTSD, but that’s a rant for another day.) Or is Hayward’s scheme more complicated in some way?

What is the Purpose of the White Vision?

The Dr. Manhattan-esque White Vision revealed in this week’s credits scene is both creepy and heartbreaking at the same time. The real Vision, after all, had specifically requested that he not be brought back or used as some kind of weapon after his death. And now he’s been made into what is likely some sort of soulless killing machine, using his soulmate’s magic and against his own wishes. How Hayward figured out how to reanimate Vision, what vibranium he was tracking in the Hex, and what he intends to do with this new weapon he’s made are all outstanding questions. But none of them likely have happy answers. 

Look, we probably have to start preparing ourselves now emotionally for the fact that Wanda is going to have to fight the reanimated body of her dead lover, who probably won’t even remember her name. And she’ll have to do it with the magical recreation of him she made in Westview at her side, in a battle that will more than likely destroy both Visions by the end of it.

And at this point, we’re going to need a WandaVision Season 2 in order to deal with Wanda’s trauma from all of that (that’s not a complaint, by the way).

Is Wanda a Mutant Now?

With the X-Men franchise officially part of the MCU, the question has to be asked: Is Wanda Maximoff officially a mutant now? Her exposure to the Mind Stone clearly triggered or otherwise activated some latent abilities – powers that the show implied would have vanished otherwise.

Wanda and Pietro appear to be the only two individuals who survived HYDRA’s attempts to create supervillains using the Mind Stone. Does this mean that Pietro’s survival also indicates that his powers were merely latent and then “activated” by their experiments?

Does this twist give Wanda back her official mutant roots, or is it just an origin story for witches in the Marvel universe? 

Where’s Monica?

When last we saw Monica Rambeau, she was getting busted for snooping by Agatha’s nebulously explained fake version of Pietro Maximoff. Since she doesn’t appear in “Previously On” we’re still not sure where she is, what’s happened to her in the meantime, or what role she has to play in the finale. 

One has to assume she’ll show up to fight at Wanda’s side – whether that’s against Agatha or the White Vision or both – but how? 

We also don’t know much yet about her superpowers. We’re all assuming she’s basically just inheriting her comics abilities as Spectrum, but will those abilities work outside of the Hex or without Wanda to power them?

What Does This All Mean for Pietro?

Though we journey back to the HYDRA base in which Wanda and her brother were experimented on, we don’t see any hint of Pietro in this episode (and, no, the child version doesn’t count). We know that the Evan Peters version is a fake conjured by Agatha to pry information on how she created the Hex out of Wanda – how is she powering that by the way? And how does Fake Pietro know so much real Maximoff history? – but what does all this new backstory mean for the Maximoff brother who died? 

What happened to Pietro when he encountered the Mind Stone? Were his powers also latent and only “activated” by the stone like Wanda’s (and thus making him a mutant)? And does any of this somehow open a door to bring Quicksilver back to the MCU?

Who is the Aerospace Engineer?

Yes, we’ve all apparently spent weeks thinking about a throwaway line from Monica back in WandaVision’s fifth episode, in which she references an aerospace engineer she knows who might be up for the challenge of figuring out the Hex. 

Maybe it’s nothing, but this is Marvel, so it’s almost guaranteed not to be nothing. 

Could Monica’s mysterious friend be Reed Richards and could SWORD serve as a way to finally introduce the Fantastic Four into the MCU? It’s more than possible – it’s practically likely at this point. There are other options – Victor Von Doom and Hank McCoy are also notable Marvel scientists we’ve yet to meet in the MCU – but doesn’t Reed just make the most sense?

How Will WandaVision  Lead Into Doctor Strange 2?

One of the few things we do know about the WandaVision finale is that it’s somehow connected to and will likely lead directly into the upcoming MCU film Doctor Strange in the Multiverse of Madness. At this point, it seems safe to say that Wanda is more likely than not responsible for both the multiverse and the madness parts of that title, and the finale will involve her somehow fully becoming the Scarlet Witch and unleashing some cosmic chaos powers. But where does that kind of ending leave  Wanda and Vision? Will Doctor Strange himself show up – either to defeat the White Vision or stop Wanda from ripping down the walls of reality? Will Vision have to die again? And how does Agatha Harkness fit into things? (At this point, she’s more than earned a place in Doctor Strange 2, if you ask me.)

The post WandaVision Episode 9: The Big Questions We Need Answered appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[alwida10]

Signs of abusive relationship that can be found in the Thor-Films

@alstee We talked about aspects of a narcistic personality disorder we can find in the Thor-films in this thread. The original thread is adjectant to a gif-set, which is why I don’t want to post there. The people who make those gifs are forced to “listen” to the discussion even if they don’t wish to be associated with the anti-Ragnarok party and I don’t want to pull someone into the discussion.

Also, this got kinda long, therefore I put it under the cut. :) 

The following text is a quote from you, @alstee, taken from said thread, because I would like to have all relevant points in one thread together.

If anyone is interested, I’ve been skimming through the book The Narcissistic Family: Diagnosis and Treatment by Stephanie Donaldson-Pressman, and it’s super interesting! It’s aimed at therapists, but it’s easy, if sad, to read as a general audience person.

I’ve heard internet anecdotes of people who had to try several therapists before they found one that could actually help them, because the first ones ended up validating/siding with the NPD parent’s perspective (big WHOOPS, continuing that gaslighting) and/or didn’t really get what kind of damage and toxic family dynamics they were actually dealing with.

Now, reading through the book, there are example cases where the patient starts seeking therapy for specific problems, not having the slightest idea that their parents did anything wrong or unusual in their parenting, until a neutral third party correctly identifies the cognitive dysfunction in what the patient is saying, and digs deeper to trace the path of that dysfunctional thinking right to the source.

Also, tell me these two following bits don’t scream MCU Loki:

(This first one explains Loki’s whole behavior in Thor 1 and Thor 2, to a T.)

(And this one is in a section about romantic relationships, but I can see this whole thing running through Loki’s subconscious in every scene where he has Thor or Frigga standing in front of him.)

(@lucianalight​ You have written excellent meta posts about this which opened my eyes in the first place – I had read about this topic years before, but not made the connection to Odin’s family; I hope you don’t mind a tag here?)

 <End of quote>

So, I am not completely done reading ‘why does he do that? - inside they mind of angry and controlling men’ by Lundy Bancroft so I raise no claim to completeness. Two short remarks at the beginning: The book describes situations in romantic relationships and is therefore not exactly pointed towards sibling relationships as we see in canon MCU between Loki and Thor. Since I believe abuse to work in many situations similarly, I am still using it to interpret the brothers’ relationship. But this is of course a point that can be discussed.

Second: the book describes situations in which a woman is abused by a man. Therefore, a “he” in the text refers to the abuser and a “she” to the abused. Loki would in this context be labeled “she”, since most signs point towards him being the abused one. The book states very clearly that abuse can happen in same-sex relationships as well and is just as bad and worthy of condemnation as abuse in hetero-relationships. The wording simply eases the reading process because you always know if the author refers to the abuser or the abused.

1.       Is Loki really abused?

I marked the points yellow which I think might be true in his case. Here some gifs why I think so:

Source of the gif and a nice meta about TDW

The gif is relevant both for “are you afraid of him” and “do you feel like the problems in your relationship are all your fault”.

Source

Also, when we see Thor and Loki for the first time in Thor 1, Loki doesn’t appear to have any friends of his own. As to the aspect of isolating him from his family:

Source

2.       Disrespect is the soil in which abuse grows.

I think we know Thor doesn’t respect Loki like he respects other people such as the Avengers and other Aesir.

Gif source.

But Thor doesn’t know of Loki’s heritage until the end of Thor 1. So where does this come from?

This whole topic is connected to the first of my introductionary remarks. Abuse in romantic relationships is so common, because there is an imbalance of power in combination with the feeling of being above the other. Due to our social conditioning, the man is mostly more powerful than the woman, and there are far more abused women than abused men. People often argue a woman could abuse a man just as well. The author meets this point that this is true on a surface level, but abuse is mostly based on entitlement. Men, who are raised in a belief of superiority, feel entitled to be catered by their wife and entitled to use force if she refuses or fails to do so.  

So, we are back at Odin again, who certainly knew about Loki’s heritage and didn’t fail to act upon this knowledge. And not only his dismissive attitude towards Loki carries over to Thor, but also to the staff, as we see in the famous “spilled wine”-scene of Thor 1. So Odin basically taught Thor that he’s better than Loki.

And based on this learned disrespect, Thor feels entitled to enforce the respective behavior in Loki.

Thor shows signs of this power over Loki very early. Loki is the only one of his group he doesn’t ask to accompany him. He just assumes it. And Loki complies. He orders Loki around on Jotunheim, but Loki doesn’t comply this time. We can’t know if Thor would have gotten back to him, because he gets banished before he has the change to. We see Thor quite often demand something from Loki in the following films without Loki obeying. It mostly gets violent after that. But since it still are superhero films we can’t count this as abusive behavior because it’s somehow ‘normal’ in this context. I don’t remember Thor using physical force to make someone else do as he wishes in the films. Interestingly, if he does so it would rather invalidate the theory of him being an abuser, since most abuser make sure only to exhibit this kind of behavior in private, because they don’t want to hurt their public reputation. So if he would threaten people more often, it would rather mean that he’s a brute than an abuser.

Since we already discussed the narcistic personality disorder I would mention that both things can appear in combination:

You might have noticed that I did refrain from using examples from Thor – Ragnarok up to this point. This is intentional. Because most points that indicate Thor would act in an abusive way are relatively rare in the first films (Thor 1, Avengers and The dark world). Thor 1 even sketched out a redemption arc from his arrogance (which is the basis of entitlement) and even though he has his flaws in TDW he isn’t giving in to most of his urges. In the boat scene he threatens to punch Loki, but he doesn’t act on his urge. This is means he does, in fact, NOT feel entitled to do so. He remembers Frigga and recalls he should not. An abuser is different from an angry man because he thinks he has the right to hurt the other one.

This tone changes in Thor - Ragnarok:

I will try to make this as conceive as possible and therefore use a list of methods abusers use in interactions (split into two parts because it was to long for one picture):  

Sulking, Refusing to talk: Thor’s behavior in the cell when Loki visits to talk.

Ridicule: He throws stones at Loki in the cell.

Source

Distorting what happened in an earlier interaction: 

Source

(Ok, this one is not sure, since we don’t know what actually happened. But he says first “I dumped her!” and then “It was mutual dumping” which fits the point that past actions get distorted.) 

Using a tone of absolute certainty and final authority: In his talk with Hela about her past.

Source

Everything is your fault: Thor demands Loki to lift his magic before Odin’s death. He implies Hela’s return is Loki’s fault. He blames Loki for the situation in the nine realms.

He changes the subject to his grievances: When he talks to Bruce about his fear being on a planet and changes to the point that Bruce has to help him fight Hela.

Part II: 

Provoking guilt/Turning your grievances around to use them against you: 

Source

Playing the victim:

Source

Threatening to leave you:

Source

But the major point will always be the physical violence. Here some quotes concerning that:

Source 

[rainbowravioli]

Please share your thoughts on Avengers Endgame, especially regarding Captain America, Iron Man and Black Widow (being very vague to avoid spoilers)

(Sorry for the wait, this wasn’t easy to write)

Oh boy…

So my thoughts on the overall movie are that it was an enjoyable movie for about 80% of its run time, though the other 20% were mostly awful. It’s not anywhere near perfect or a masterpiece as I’ve seen some people call it. The character arcs aside, the movie itself has problems. The pacing, for example, is all over the place. Also, somehow, I left the movie feeling they both did too much and too little, though I would have to delve into specific scenes and characters to explain what I mean. It’s kind of a amazing that they managed to build so many great callbacks to the past MCU movies and still have the movie that’s supposed to close of this chapter end without a sense of finality when it comes to a bunch of plot threads and characters. But you asked specifically for Steve, Tony, and Natasha thoughts.

Before I get into them I would just like to say one thing that may be an unpopular media opinion in general: I don’t believe that tragedy is meaningful by default, and I don’t believe happy endings take away from sacrifice or emotional impact or that a battle without stakes (AKA deaths) is unsatisfying. Especially when we already saw our heroes in this particular case lose everything once. Infinity War was about loss and tragedy. Endgame should have been about rising up from it and taking it back. Why is it more meaningful to end this chapter with tragedy than with joy and togetherness? 

Anyway.

I’ll start with Natasha.

BEWARE SPOILERS

Honestly my biggest problem with Natasha is that they didn’t bring her back. I had this problem with not bringing back everyone who wasn’t dusted, honestly. I thought that the scene between Natasha and Clint in pursue of the Soul Stone was one of the best scenes in the movie and it made perfect sense that both of them would try to sacrifice themselves. Natasha repaying what she saw as her life debt to Clint was very poignant. My problem is with the idea and framing of Natasha’s death as some sort of redemption for her character. I saw a reviewer say something of the effect that Natasha’s death was beautiful because finally the “red was wiped out of her ledger”.

Natasha was taken as a child, groomed to be an assassin, endured a lifetime of trauma, but she still wanted to make herself a better person and, with Clint’s help, she did! She changed her circumstances, she rose up against those who wronged her, she found friends she could trust who were like a family to her, and she spent FIVE YEARS at the Avengers base keeping the Avengers going, throwing herself into work to keep what was left of Earth as safe as possible. She had already done more than enough to wipe the red of her ledger. She was a hero. And it’s vile that she had to die for the greater good as redemption.

It’s even worst though, that she was not mourned properly. Her death was brushed aside so quickly and there was barely any reaction from the team. Clint and Bruce were clearly affected, but I was not impressed by Steve’s Single Tear™ over one of his closest friends or how everyone else just pretty much shrugged it off because you know, gotta move on with the plan. 

Someone had to die for the Soul Stone. I expected it. My friends and I all agreed pre-movie it would fall to Clint or Natasha. But having Natasha be brought back after the final snap would not erase the depth of emotion of the scene where she fights Clint for it, where she begs him to let her go, where she tries to comfort him before making the ultimate sacrifice for the world. Let her come back, let her be welcomed back as the hero she is, let her live out a happy life with her new family who loves her.

Natasha deserved better but then again, she deserved better throughout most of the MCU.

Tony is actually one of the parts of the movie where I felt they did too little in a way. And no I am not asking for more Tony screentime, but that I feel that the 5 year gap screwed over some characters and Tony was one of them. It was beautiful to see him having the family he always wanted, but it felt strange and distant that we didn’t get to see that happiness before it was fully realized. We missed out on the wedding, we missed out on Tony learning he would be a father. It was honestly a bit jarring to be pulled right into the middle of Tony being a husband and parent and living a quiet life without seeing how he got there, even though we can of course guess from his reaction after being rescued from space. It’s just that this was Tony’s endgame. We’ve known since IW. His literal dream was to have a child with Pepper. Personally, it would have been more satisfying to me to see him achieve it. But that’s a minor detail.

And the thing is, the fact that Tony was fully immersed in that life, that he was fully retired, already showed that you didn’t have to kill Tony to get him out of the game: he walked out of it willingly, and he fully intended to get back to his family life once they brought everyone back.

Him getting the stones and doing a call back to the very first Iron Man was spectacular. Honestly an amazing moment. His slow, painful death scene? Not so much. I don’t think he had to die. It felt more like they were killing a symbol than a character, to put a definite period on this chapter of the MCU. So by basically objectifying Tony as mattering more as a symbol, I believe his character integrity suffered. Tony was the one character always focused on preventing IW from happening. His methods have not always been the best, but he was driven by panic and PTSD and ultimately good intentions (even if, once  again, his actions haven’t always been The Best™). He wanted to protect the people that mattered to him, he wanted to go back to Pepper and to watch Morgan grow and be a better parent than what he got.

Killing Tony was unnecessary. Make Tony lose the arm. That’s how I would have handled it. The suit technology protects him long enough to be saved from dying, but he permanently loses his entire arm. He built it in a way that he would be able to make a gauntlet of it and use the stones, he could have also built it in a way that protected him from the after effects. It’s still a sacrifice, but it’s not his life. He can go back and live the rest of it. He can keep contributing to saving the world through his inventions without having to be in the center of the battle itself. It wouldn’t have taken away from the fact that he was willing to put down his life for the world (it’s not even the first time he did so), and it wouldn’t have taken away from how awesome his “I am Iron Man! *snap*” moment was!

Tony didn’t deserve this.

I’m not even sure what to say when it comes to Steve, I’m so angry and heartbroken.

I’ll say that, and maybe I’m extremely biased because he is my favourite MCU character, but I could live with all the other faults of the movie until they had Steve make the most possible out of character decision he could have and trash 8 years worth of movies and character development. That final decision made no sense, broke the movie’s own previously established rules, and was as far from a happy ending as possible.

You’re telling me Steve Rogers, whose character arc has been about moving forward, who has never been one to abandon his friends, who had built a life for himself in the future with a new family with the Avengers, who had just gotten his best friend and main motivator throughout 3 movies and arguably his most important relationship back, who knew Peggy had lived a full happy life, decided to be a gigantically selfish, cruel man and give up on everything he built to go back to the past and rob Peggy of her own life?! Over a relationship that we were shown him making peace with? When Peggy herself tells him the best thing he can do is move on and live his own life?

Steve’s arc has always been about moving forward and protecting what he had with all his might. Steve going back, abandoning everyone he knows and everything he achieved, isn’t him living his own life, it’s him robbing someone else’s, it’s him giving up and regressing completely. Not my Steve Rogers.

Not to mention, the fact that Steve shows up as an old man breaks so many canon established rules it’s not even worth getting into, it simply makes absolutely no sense. And no, don’t give me any of that “he closed his loop and was Peggy’s husband all along” because lol no, all past movies contradict that, and also that means Marvel supports Sharon getting with who she knows damn well is her uncle because it’s ok if he’s young and hot I guess.

There’s too much to say about Steve, it would be a whole essay on its own. I’ll just conclude with something that breaks my heart to say, but it’s where the movie brought me to:

Marvel might as well have killed Steve because what they did was character assassination. 

[thiscrimsonsoul]

Welcome to a little rant about Wanda’s personal perspective and how I use it to write her…

I’ve gotten some interesting messages over the past few weeks from a number of people, some of whom I write with and others who just felt like offering an opinion, regarding how I write Wanda. Let me state, this is not a callout post or meant to be anything negative. Everyone was polite and I actually welcome challenges to the way I write my muses as long as they are respectful. It helps me to defend why I do certain things with them and make sure I am keeping them in line with how I intend my interpretation of them to be presented. But I’ve gotten enough comments along the same lines that I thought  it might be useful (for me as well as for my followers) to explain why I go in certain mental/psychological/emotional directions with Wanda that, to some, might seem incredibly divergent from canon. So… consider this a brain rant for me to organize a crap ton of headcanons into one place, but I hope you all enjoy it anyway, haha

Below the cut because looooong. XD

People have said I write Wanda as if she is a very weak character, meaning I write her too insecure, emotional, and unable to rise to challenges. I just want to clarify that I do not write Wanda as a weak character, I write her as a character who often believes she is weak. There is a difference. Wanda is an “unreliable narrator,” which in a writing sense means that the character speaking, narrating, summarizing, or explaining something to the reader either directly through internal monologue or through the course of a story is misinforming the reader. An unreliable narrator may be misinformed themselves, and may relate information as if it is true because they believe it to be… but it is in fact not true. Or, their perspective may be skewed in ways they don’t consider or understand, resulting in interpretations of information by them that are simply not correct. The reader does not know this, and simply takes the character at their word until they learn otherwise.

This applies to the way I write Wanda. She often says things about herself that are not true or would not be true, but she herself believes them to be true. Regardless of Wanda’s actual power or abilities, she believes more than once in canon in the movies that she is unworthy, incapable, and unwanted. Just because Wanda thinks she could not survive without Pietro doesn’t mean she couldn’t… and we know she ultimately did. Just because she felt badly about the Accords and wanted to hang back and not cause any more trouble, doesn’t mean she should… and she didn’t. Just because she didn’t believe she could destroy the mind stone and told Vision she couldn’t doesn’t mean she couldn’t… and she did. So I just want to separate for a moment Wanda’s actual strength, abilities, and how others perceive her from how she views herself. They are certainly not the same, just as my perception of her is not the same as her perception of herself in a given thread. I am not commenting on Wanda’s character, she is, and she is a biased source of information on the subject, heh. Just because I write her as saying “I can’t,” “I won’t,” “I don’t deserve,” “I’m not good enough,” doesn’t mean I believe that. It’s Wanda who believes that. Mun and muse are not the same.

Some people say I am making her more mentally unstable than she is and giving her low self-esteem she doesn’t have. First, I am drawing from Wanda’s personality in the comics a bit and from some aspects of her character there that was never done in the movies. Second, I elaborate on what any healthy person might think, feel, and go through having been through the traumas that she has, since the MCU seemed content to just ignore any and all processes of grieving, overcoming trauma, and adjusting to huge geographic and cultural life changes. So I am filling in and extrapolating from that, but I am also developing the tiny tidbits of what the MCU did show us to go into more depth on her thought process behind them, because there are a few canon things that show us that Wanda is dealing with a lot more mental trauma and stress than we sometimes give her allowances for.

A Note on Age and Experiences in Hydra’s Laboratory

I write Wanda (and Pietro as well over at @fasterthanmydemons) as younger than canon MCU. Yes, I agree Aaron and Lizzie do not look 17 or 18 but eh, they’re their FCs so I work with it however I can, heh. And yeah, in cases of writing with other muns writing the twins, I usually just modulate their ages up without even asking because I know that having them younger is something that is not well accepted in the fandom. I have a couple reasons for doing so, however, that do affect how they function.

First, I feel that they are very emotionally immature. That’s not meant to be a negative thing, I just mean that they seem very isolated, dependent on each other, and they behave in ways that give me the sense that they are very inexperienced. The sense I get is of older teenagers or young adults that have been made to grow up very, very fast… and there are some gaps in that process because of it, heh. In some ways they are wise beyond their years, but in many other ways they are still very young and inexperienced, with skewed and sheltered views of the world.

Secondly, I really hate the MCU plot for them, heh. The whole… well we volunteered for a Hydra experiment (even if they thought they were dealing with SHIELD) seems really dumb. Why would 20-something year-olds make decisions that incredibly naïve? And why would they stay on the streets for 10-something years, with all that animosity and drive toward change, and not do anything more about it? It just seems… so unrealistic. It’s possible, I’m not saying it’s not, but in my mind, it makes more sense if they were a lot younger when they volunteered. Idealistic children thinking this would solve their problems and empower them, easily duped by Hydra into thinking they were with SHIELD, and physically smaller and easier to control. That’s how I imagine the twins. So my timeline for them is that they were orphaned at 10, spent a few years on the streets, but then volunteered at around age 14 or 15, staying there until they were almost 18. They are close to their 18th birthdays during the events of Ultron. That’s my timeline for them, but like I said, I know that is not well accepted, so I am usual very flexible in changing this even if I continue to write them in my head as if I am still following my own timeline. (If I am in an rp with you right now for either twin and you have a question about something, don’t hesitate to ask, since I know that can affect how people frame the stories in their heads and such.)

So because of this, because they are younger and have been in Hydra’s laboratory for 3-4 years instead of 1 or less than 1, this will change their mental health, emotional stability, and how they view the world. My twins are perhaps even more bitter and angry than in MCU canon to start out, are very overtly emotionally dependent on each other, and have more physical and emotional scars from their treatment at Hydra’s hands. I’ve made their time in the laboratory, their decision to volunteer for it, and their ultimate essential imprisonment by Hydra while the experiments were going on to be far more of a definite event in their lives that had real lasting impacts on their psyche, not just a plot point to be mentioned a couple times but with no perceivable impact as the MCU movies would have you believe.

Being in the laboratory for that extended amount of time also allows me to expand upon Hydra’s purpose in experimenting on them. Why the actual hellnuts would Hydra empower the twins and then just let them go? Yeah okay, they let them out of their cells and maybe the twins simply made a break for it, but I see more than that. Two things, really: Hydra’s overall purpose for them, and the reason why they didn’t leave well before that even though they were capable of doing so.

I believe Hydra wanted to turn them into weapons of mass destruction. Honestly, Hydra is only out for itself, and what it wants is the dissolution of democracy and the subjugation of nations and races it disagrees with or believes are inferior to them. With these twins, I think Hydra wanted their own anti-Avengers, like the Winter Soldiers, but with added powers. To use them for this purpose, they would not have just tinkered around with Loki’s staff, granted them some fun powers, and then left them alone. No, they would have Romanoffed them. Physical and mental conditioning, training to become spies, education regarding languages, geography, and politics, things like that. So my interpretation of the twins is that they were taught a lot by Hydra, but for Hydra’s own purposes and under extreme duress and threat of punishment if they did not learn in a timely fashion. This was especially difficult for Pietro, who had a horrible time focusing and sitting still, but Wanda also suffered abuse for she was the most feared of the two and Hydra felt a greater need to control her.

Which brings us to why the twins didn’t escape earlier if they were being so badly mistreated. This also makes a lot more sense if they were very young when they volunteered, but I suppose it could happen regardless. I believe there was a very obvious abuser-abused relationship going on between the twins and Hydra, whereby they were held captive more by their own minds than by any bars, guns, or electronics. What I mean is, when a level of abuse is reached where one feels like attempting to leave will only make things worse and/or their abuser will always find them no matter where they go, they could be, for example, standing freely right next to soldiers as they discuss what is going on outside the facility and not lift a finger to try to escape. This happens in real life, where abused people are left alone, door open, car in the driveway, keys in hand, and yet they don’t try to escape. Their own fear holds them in place. This is one of two explanations I have for why the twins didn’t break out sooner, and it’s a reason that I think especially affected them when they were very young and first starting out.

The other explanation is that they had a legitimate goal to meet, and regardless of how much they were suffering, they thought they had to see it through to the end. Yes, they were being mistreated, but they signed up for a means to destroy the Avengers and dammit they were going to see it through. It wasn’t until the Avengers showed up and the soldiers around them were like weeeeeeell, we could send the twins, but they’re not ready yet… that Wanda and Pietro were like fuck yeah we are and decided at that point that they were 1000% done and left to pursue their goal. The laboratory had outlived its usefulness to them at that point and the fear of not achieving their goal of challenging the Avengers begins to outweigh their fear of retaliation from Hydra. 

Alright, back to focusing on Wanda more specifically, since this is her blog , heh.

Blaming Herself for Things Outside Her Control

Wanda takes things very personally. She is a perfectionist, and a very empathetic person. That combination often leaves her feeling like something is her fault when things go wrong and result in people being hurt. During the battle of Sokovia, Wanda all but has a panic attack inside a building with Clint, muttering to herself, “How could I let this happen? It’s all my fault.” Suddenly there she is, taking responsibility for an entire city being attacked. Now, I suppose some would argue that her support of Ultron led to that, but I think that’s a bit unfair, given the amount of lies and misinformation that both twins were exposed to during their time in the Hydra laboratory. My point is, yes, Wanda blames herself for thing constantly. It is a canon part of her personality. I believe this blame and even sometimes a fear of responsibility stems from her losing so many people she loves. The common factor, as she sees it, is her, so therefore she must be to blame and doing something wrong. That’s not true, but that is how she perceives things.

Dependency on Her Brother

Wanda is emotionally dependent on Pietro while he is alive. That does not mean she cannot learn to live without him and to let him go, but it will not happen overnight and it will not be easy. Her dependency is not just borne out of love for a close sibling. It has been forged in trauma. Being persecuted as a child for being Romani and a witch, losing her parents, losing them in an incredibly frightening way, living on the streets, being experimented on… all these things made her cling to her brother even more than she might have already just due to being a twin. Think of Pietro like a very complex service animal for Wanda. Have you ever seen the bond between a soldier or trauma victim and their service animal? It’s incredibly deep and emotionally necessary. Take that kind of relationship and now apply it to a brother, your twin, someone you deeply love and expect to always be there with you… and then take it all away. Not only does Wanda now have to deal with all these traumas in her life that are recurring issues for her due to PTSD, but now her main support system is suddenly gone and his death is yet one more trauma that will haunt her for the rest of her life, especially since she physically felt him die.

And, to be fair, as a side note, Pietro is also emotionally dependent on Wanda. They have a sort of mutually synergistic relationship going on as far as how they deal with trauma. Wanda deals with it by seeking emotional comfort and safety with Pietro, whether in his embrace or listening to his reassuring words. That feeling of having someone watching over her and protecting her is very grounding and calming to her. Pietro copes with trauma by putting himself in a position in which he feels he has more control over the situation. I don’t mean he’s controlling of Wanda (those aspects of the comics I hate and do not use in my interpretation of him on his blog). I mean that the way he copes with all the bad things that have happened to them is to feel like he won’t let it happen again. He assumes a protector role for Wanda, not only because he genuinely wants to keep her safe, but because it fulfills an emotional need for him to have enough to control over any given situation to keep his sister safe. So the way in which she places her emotional safety in his hands and he assumes the role of a protector serves to accomplish the same purpose of helping them cope with trauma, but in ways that are unique to them and their own emotional needs.

Once that relationship is severed after Pietro’s death, it shatters a lot of things for Wanda, including emotional security and self-identity. She’s no longer a well-supported twin, she’s alone. Now, we all know that it’s canon that she is able to move on and survive without him, but it is also canon that she stayed behind in Sokovia after exacting her revenge on Ultron, seemingly not in any hurry to leave as the city was about to be destroyed. Suicidal thoughts? Intent to commit suicide? Perhaps that is open to interpretation, but I believe yes, she did intend to die then. Her brother was her entire world at that point. I think Wanda couldn’t imagine life without him and didn’t want to either. After Vision saves her, she isn’t just going to suddenly be fine with continuing on without Pietro. Even if she did not make another attempt on her life, Wanda still would be in that mindset of why am I still alive? and would not see a point to going on without him. Somewhere in between that mindset and finding purpose with the Avengers, she will heal regarding this issue, but between the events of Ultron and Civil War, she will be on an emotional rollercoaster, and I think that is more than implied in canon even if we never got to see it.

Feeling Like People Dislike Her or Are Angry With Her

Wanda comes from a place of believing most people dislike her or even hate her, and I want to put into perspective why that is. Again, I draw from things in the comics, so Wanda is a mutant and was born with her abilities. I then combine the MCU story to say that Hydra’s experiments enhanced what was already there. She is Romani and her religion is a mix of Judaism and polytheism, so she has faced cultural and religious persecution from the time she was a young child. Her powers got her the label of “witch,” which is not merely derogatory, it’s downright frightening. Being called a witch where she grew up could mean you were hunted and killed. So from a very young age she learned that who and what she was would likely be perceived by most people, whether it was true or not, as bad. Now, Wanda has a lot of pride in being Romani, but even so, she has learned that most people come at her with prejudice and hatred, and that makes her wary and defensive.

By the time she joins the Avengers, this feeling is exacerbated by her rocky start with them in Ultron. Her mental attacks let them all very shaken and even resentful of her to varying degrees, and that was not lost on Wanda. Even after she is supposedly accepted, she remembers what she did to them and is sure they remember too. Things like being confined to her room in Civil War to “avoid further public incidents” show a lack of trust in her that not only makes her think that resentment for what she did is still there, but it flares that same defensiveness that she’s felt all her life for cultural and religious reasons.

Having said all of this, Wanda wants to be accepted. Her desire to not cause any more problems in Civil War is indicative of that when she tells Clint, “I’ve caused enough trouble,” and initially refuses to defect with him. But ultimately, Wanda is someone who will follow her heart and what she feels is right, regardless of her inhibitions, insecurities, and phobias.

Insecurity about her abilities

This is something that is not discussed a lot in canon, but I feel it’s definitely part of her personality. Wanda doesn’t believe in herself as far as her ability to do things, and it has nothing to do with how powerful she is. She knows she’s powerful. What she believes she lacks is the focus and stability to use that power. I believe this is what causes her to hang back so long after Clint’s “if you step out that door, you’re an Avenger” speech. Not only is she genuinely scared of what’s going on (this is the first full-scale battle she’s been on the front lines for, don’t forget that for a second), but she doesn’t know if she can focus enough to get the job done. Something that people who are in a full-scale skirmish for the first time have a lot of trouble with if they have no battle training whatsoever is sensory overload… and Wanda was knee deep in it at that point. There were too many loud noises, too many arrows and bullets and robots and things flying around in every direction, and also don’t forget that Wanda is sensitive to energies around her, so any magical blasts or gunpowder blasts or lasers or anything is going to be something she’ll perceive like the hairs standing up on your skin after a lightning strike. That’s… a lot of information for a young woman with little to no battle experience to take in all at once. I think it all got the better of her and she knew that, so before she could go back out, she had to calm down and refocus, which is why you see her so much more confident the next time she steps out.

Another time when this insecurity regarding her abilities reared its ugly head was when Vision was pleading with her to destroy the mind stone. She simply told him, “I can’t.” Most will say that she was merely saying “I can’t kill you” from the point of view of a loved one not wanting to kill another loved one. That is part of it, yes, but she didn’t say she wouldn’t, she said she can’t. I think Wanda had some real doubts as to whether she could set aside her own emotions enough to get the job done. She absolutely has the ability to do it, as Vision tells her, because from someone outside looking in he can see how capable she is, but from her point of view she must have felt like a totally erratic and unreliable mess. Ironic, then, that she not only is able to focus enough to destroy the stone, but to also hold Thanos back while she does it. Wanda sees nothing extraordinary about that at all, however. No, in fact, her proclivity to blame herself returns and she feels she completely dropped the ball that day in not being able to successfully stop Thanos.

Summary

So… Wanda does not give herself enough credit for what she has been through, what she has survived, what she can survive, and what she can accomplish. She is very scarred by her past, between her frightening and difficult childhood, living on the streets, the Hydra experiments, and losing her entire family… and those scars will be there with her for the rest of her life. She is a very damaged and, at times, broken person. But, having said that… she is also brave, strong, kind-hearted, helpful, and loving as well, under the right circumstances and with the right people. She can accomplish amazing things (as we saw in the movies), she just needs to believe that herself. That is one my biggest goals in writing Wanda and something I love to see happen for her, when she begins to believe in herself and stops defining herself based on others or on past deeds or traumas. I love to see her go from a very broken place through the healing process and arriving in a place that isn’t necessarily happier for her, but stronger and more stable. Wanda was robbed of this kind of healing and redemption arc in the MCU, and I intend to give her many of them on this blog, heh. And poor Pietro was robbed of… well… pretty much everything, so my work is cut out for him as well, heh.

If you have any questions, want to make any comments, or want to drop some follow-up asks in my inbox, please feel free to do so! As I said, I love to constantly build on and develop my interpretations of my muses, so you are never bothering me with character development questions. =)

[wickedsingularity]

Christmas Miracle [one-shot]

wickedsingularity’s Christmas Stories 2018 Masterlist

Fandom: MCU Pairings/characters: Steve Rogers x reader (but not really), Wanda Maximoff, and all the Avengers post AOU/pre CACW (and @iguess-theyre-mymess starring as Sam Wilson's girlfriend/baking-partner) Words: 3747 Warnings: Angst, fluff, overworked, stress, nagging family, kissing, almost smut

Prompt/summary: When work and Christmas and sleep deprivation just becomes too much… Steve comes home from a mission and sets off a miracle. (Inspired partly by my own life and partly a Norwegian commercial.)

The busiest time of the year was busier than ever. It was also supposed to be the most wonderful time of the year, but with all the rogue HYDRA agents running around it was just stress, stress and more stress. They'd been fairly quiet all year, but now, right before the holidays, they were everywhere. Steve and Natasha had been sent away to deal with the larger of the suddenly active groups, and I was running around at home, working my ass off.

As the IT manager to the Avengers and what was left of SHIELD, I shouldn't be too busy, Tony made sure we had state of the art equipment, and I was pretty damn good at my job if I could say so myself. But it seemed that everything went wrong lately. I barely had time for my usual duties, as I was called here and there to fix the most ridiculous problems. And in the middle of it all, our servers crashed and I tried my best to get it back online as it was vital to Steve and Natasha's mission, even though everyone else felt their buggy printers or out-of-battery-mice was more important.

After a long day of fixing screens that showed everything upside down and saving a hard drive from someone accidentally opening a malicious attachment to an email and fixing the server temporarily and not doing any of the maintenance I was supposed to do, I dragged myself home to an empty apartment. Dry toast was my dinner and the couch was my best friend. That was also where I was reminded of all the other things I had to do at home. The lists were there in front of me on the table after one panicked evening when I decided I needed to write it all down in an orderly fashion. All the Christmas presents I had to buy, I had even figured out what to get everyone. All the baking I had to do. All the cleaning and decorating.

I groaned and reached lazily for the remote and turned the TV on. I don't know what channel it opened on because at that moment I got a text. I touched the fingerprint scanner and saw that it was from my mom. Have you decided what to do for Christmas yet? Your old room is waiting for you!

Another groan and my heart rate sped up. I glanced for a moment further up the thread.

I don't know. I don't know when Steve will be home.

If he can't come, you're welcome to come alone. Though we'd love to see you both!

Have you talked to Steve yet? Your grandparents are eager to see you too!

I hadn't replied to the last two, prompting her to send the current one. Steve's mission was on radio silence and no one knew how long it would take. I contemplated chucking my phone out the window.

Someone bursting into a Christmas song on the TV caught my attention. A family was gathered around their open front door, a group of cheery carollers standing in the driveway. I don't know what movie it was, because I tuned out before the guilt could overwhelm me. Instead, I remembered all the laundry I had to put away and dishes I needed to clean and the windows that needed to be cleaned because I could barely see through them, but I couldn't move from the couch. I just stared blindly at the TV for a long time, my mind going over all the things I had to do in an endless loop until another text dragged me back to reality.

This one was from Wanda. Want to skip work tomorrow and come with me to help me find a present for Vision? He's not easy to shop for.

I was able to reply to this one. I wanted nothing more than to get away from everything for a bit and spend some time with Wanda, maybe even get started on the Christmas presents, but I couldn't. I would have loved to, I need to get some shopping done too, but I'm still swamped with work. Everyone is useless. Laughing emoji.

Wanda's reply was quick. Oh, I'm sorry. Just let me know if you can get away, or if I can do some shopping for you while I'm out. Followed by five hugging emojis.

Thanks, I'll let you know!

A flash of guilt for saying no to Wanda went through me, even though I knew I was being ridiculous. I had just said no to her too many times the last few weeks.

I was done for the day. It was about nine, but I still turned off the TV and got ready for bed. On top of everything, whenever Steve was gone, it took me ages to fall asleep, and when I did sleep, I slept poorly and woke up early. So, I figured, the earlier I got into the bed, the earlier I would sleep and maybe long poor sleep was better than short deep sleep.

A few days later, nothing had changed, except I was now working alone. I had a few people working under me as the IT manager. Good people too. But all of them had applied for time off before Christmas and I'd granted it to all of them, except the one who was out sick. I worked better on my own anyway, it was faster and easier than getting more people involved. It was a flaw I had, one I was very aware of and one I should probably work on right now. It would have taken a lot of weight off my shoulders.

But I just couldn't do it. Not now. I did my best to fix everyone's problems and make sure the makeshift fix on the server didn't buckle under the strain and tried not to think of all the things I never got around to.

I was sleep deprived and stressed. My entire body was a tight knot of muscles, every time I turned my head my neck protested and pain shot through my head, my brain worked a million miles a minute, and my heart rate was probably through the roof and I nearly had a heart attack every time the phone rang or someone called my name in that please help me-tone of voice. I kept thinking about all the things I had to get done at work before Christmas but seemed to never have time for, and all the neglected tasks at home. The holidays were just days away. I decided to force myself out to get presents after work.

But when I got out, I was starving and exhausted, so I went home and would try to find all the presents online. With express shipping, I might get them all in time. And then I could spend a little bit of time every day the rest of the week, getting the apartment ready. I was proud of this idea and felt some of the burden lift from my shoulders.

But all I could find online was one present. Everything else was sold out. I was just about to throw my laptop into the toilet and cancel Christmas when my phone went off. I jumped half a foot off the couch, but my heart nearly exploded when I saw Steve's contact picture grinning up at me. I answered right away.

"Hi, doll." His voice was like a balm for my soul.

"Hi... I miss you." I felt my voice almost break, but I swallowed it down and hoped he didn't notice.

"I miss you too. How is my best girl?"

"Busy. So busy. But it's that time of year. When are you coming home?"

"Couple of days. We're just finishing up now. Did you work out the server glitch?"

"Sort of. It's online for now, but it's only a temporary solution. I suspect HYDRA has something to do with it though, given all the other things happening. But I'm doing my best."

"I believe in you, sweetheart."

"Fingers crossed." I grinned into the phone, trying to sound hopeful, but was glad he couldn't see how my lips twisted into a tight line instead.

We were silent for a few moments. I could hear him breathing at the other end, and I tried to imagine us curled up in bed, him the big spoon, his breath on my neck and his arms tight around me.

"I really miss you," I said.

"Are you okay?" Steve sounded concerned now.

"Yeah," I lied. "I just miss you. It's Christmas after all."

"I'll be home in two days, three tops."

"I can't wait."

"Me neither. Nat is waving me over. I got to go. I love you, okay?"

I felt the lump in my throat. "I love you too, Steven Grant." The line went dead and I dropped the hand holding the phone into my lap. "So much."

Steve hadn't been entirely truthful. He was already on his way home when he called, and he wanted to surprise her. But the call worried him. There had been something in her voice, something that told him she wasn't just busy, something was wrong.

After he had relieved Natasha as pilot, letting her get some sleep, he had called Wanda. If anyone knew if his girl was hiding something, it was the Scarlet Witch.

"She's been working really hard, Steve, everyone is on her tail," Wanda had explained. "According to Maria, her entire staff is gone for the holidays, and she's been doing everything herself. She is everywhere trying to help everyone and everything seems to be buggy. And whenever I see her, she gets paler and stiffer and there's a pained frown on her face. I don't think she's sleeping well either."

It was just as Steve expected. "Have you picked up on any of her thoughts?"

"You know I try not to do that." Wanda had hesitated for a moment. "But I couldn't have even if I wanted to. There are many thoughts in there, bleeding out. I couldn't pick out one from the other, without putting my hands around her head."

Steve pushed the Quinjet a bit faster after he had hung up. The hours flying back went by too slowly for his liking. Even slower was the medical check-up and the debriefing after. He tried to reschedule the debriefing for the next day, or at least a few hours later, but no such luck. By the time he went back to the apartment at the facility, she had gone off to work.

Steve stood still just a few steps inside the door, looking around. Next to the couch stood a basket of laundry that needed to be folded and put away. The dishwasher door was open and the inside was filled to the brim with dirty dishes. There were no Christmas decorations, no sign of anything Christmassy anywhere. Kicking off his boots, he walked further in and saw the handwritten lists and sticky notes on the coffee table. She had made orderly lists, and it made him crack a small smile, it was so typical her. They were sorted into what needed to be done around the house, what presents to buy for everyone, what Christmas decorations were to be put up, and what cookies to bake. Each list had a checkbox for "started" and "finished". The only thing checked off as finished was one of the presents for Tony, with a yellow sticky note next to it saying "online, estimated 23rd". No check marks in the started-columns.

He sighed and went into the bedroom to unpack his bag and take a much-needed shower. As he sat the bag down on the foot of the bed, he noticed that her side of the bed was barely slept in. Instead, her pillow had replaced his, and his was further down as if she'd been holding it while she slept. Steve's heart broke as he just imagined how these weeks had been for her. He knew she didn't sleep well without him, he didn't sleep well without her either. And she'd been so busy and she'd not had time for anything, she hadn't even answered her mother about Christmas judging by the texts Steve himself had gotten with questions about why she hadn't replied.

He set his bag on the floor, that could wait until later. And then he put the pillows back in their rightful place, pulled the covers up as neatly as he could.

"FRIDAY, are the others in and available right now?"

"Welcome home, Captain Rogers. Miss Romanoff is in the shower. Everyone else is in and available."

"Could you ask them to meet me here in half an hour? And could you call in Tony too? Say it's sort of a family emergency."

"Of course, Captain Rogers."

Steve tore off his uniform and went straight into the shower to wash away the grime of the mission. It was the quickest shower he'd taken his whole life. Body barely dry, he pulled on the first clothes he could find and got straight to work on the dishes, getting the machine started and handwashing the rest he could find.

Half an hour almost on the dot, there was a knock on the door. He told FRIDAY to open the door and Vision floated through before it was halfway open. Shortly after him, Wanda, Sam and Rhodey came in. And wet hair blowing behind her, a newly showered Natasha came running inside seconds later.

"What is this about a family emergency?" Rhodey asked.

"My poor girl has been working her ass off and has been running left and right to help everyone else but herself. I haven't been home to help out either. I was hoping we could all help her now. Before she gets home?"

They all nodded to a chorus of "of course".

Steve breathed out a sigh of relief. He would have tried to do it all himself if he had to, but he was glad they all wanted to help. He walked over to the coffee table and the lists there. "Sam, can I ask you to bake some cookies? You don't have to make everything on this list, but at least the ones that take the least time?"

The Falcon nodded and took the list Steve handed over. "I know just the person to help me with this," he said with a grin getting his phone out and walking over to the kitchen to make a call.

"This is a shopping list?" Wanda asked, grabbing one of the lists. "Vision and I can get this."

"Thank you, both of you. I can cross out what she's getting you, and get them myself later," Steve said.

"No, no, we'll look appropriately surprised."

Steve nodded and found his wallet, pulling out a credit card for them. "Rhodey, Nat, could you help me clean and decorate? If Tony shows up, he can help with that too."

"Sure, anything you need," Rhodey replied and Natasha nodded.

Steve looked around at them, and he had never been more grateful for each and every one of them. "Thank you, all of you. I know it's a lot of work and you probably have better things to do this close to Christmas, but I really appreciate this."

"It's no worry, Steve," Sam said, having just hung up and walked over while folding up the baking list. "We've all seen her getting more and more stressed lately. She's family, we're all family."

"This is what family does," Wanda added.

Soon, the apartment was filled with the fresh smell of soap. Dishes and laundry were dealt with, and Tony arrived with a gorgeous, plump spruce. Down the hall, the smell of baking made everyone salivate. Wanda sent pictures when she couldn't find the exact thing on the list and asked Steve for advice about what to get instead.

Decorating was next and everyone came in to help out a bit, while the gingerbread cookies were cooling before frosting, and when Wanda and Vision had finished all the gift shopping and placed them neatly wrapped around and under the tree in the common area.

It had been some long, hard hours, but the place was transformed. Steve had made sure everything was just the way she liked it and he couldn't wait for her to come home to this surprise. He didn't know how to thank everyone, but they assured him it was their pleasure as they left to let him rest for a little bit before she came home.

Steve sat down on the couch and looked around. It was almost perfect, there was just one thing left. He grabbed his phone and dialled a number.

"Hello?"

"Hi, this is Steve."

"Oh, hi, Steve, dearest! How are you? How is my baby girl?"

"We're good, thank you. I just called to let you know what's happening for Christmas. I'm really sorry, but something has come up at work for both of us. We can't make it."

"Oh, what a shame... It's been so long since we've seen our precious daughter, and there are so many people who are dying to finally meet you."

"I know. We're really sorry. We'll try to take a few days after New Year's if that's okay with you."

"Yes, please do! Have a Merry Christmas both of you and try not to work too hard!"

"We'll try. Merry Christmas to you too, say hi to everyone for us!"

Another day of being pulled in every direction. Another day where I could barely get a moment to spare for what I was supposed to work on, instead I was helping everyone else with silly things, and no closer to a permanent solution on the server glitch. Another day closer to Christmas and nothing was done. And still two days until Steve came home. I didn't even want Christmas anymore.

The halls in the building were quiet. There was a lingering smell of baking, and I felt a stab of guilt at all the baking I had yet to do. Tears pricked at the back of my eyes.

"Well, I can always try again next year," I mumbled to myself as I pressed my hand to the scanner next to the door and it swung open. The apartment was dark, I was sure I had left at least the kitchen light on. I frowned. "FRIDAY, could you please turn on the lights?"

"Of course."

The whole apartment was flooded with light and I gasped. A tree, lights, stars, tinsel, Santas, it was all there. And from the couch, a figure emerged.

"Steve?"

"Hi, doll."

My purse dropped from my hands and I ran across the room and jumped into his arms. He made a sound as if the air was knocked out of him and then chuckled, his arms wrapping around me. But seeing him and feeling him after the past three weeks of hell without him and what he had clearly done for me, just made the damn burst. His name was wrenched from me in a whine before I buried my face in his neck and the tears fell freely from my eyes.

"Oh doll," he said and sat down on the couch with me still wrapped around him. "It's okay." His arms tightened around me, holding me as close as he could. He whispered in my ear, probably all the reassurances he could think of, but he could have been reciting all the numbers in Pi for all I cared. It was his voice and his warmth and the safety I felt around him that I cared about at that moment as all the stress and worries bled out of me. I hadn't wanted Steve to know how hard it had been, but somehow, he always knew, always found out. He could read me without seeing me, just like I could read him.

I don't know how long it was before I calmed down. But when I did, I was starving, and it was the growling of my stomach that had me pulling away from his drenched shirt.

"Don't worry, I've got dinner in the fridge, it just needs warming up," Steve said, his hands cradling my face, thumbs wiping at the wetness below my eyes.

"I thought you said you'd be home in two or three days," I said, frowning. "Not that I'm not happy to see you."

"I wanted to surprise you."

"Well, colour me surprised. How did you manage all this?"

"Everyone helped. All the gifts are bought and wrapped. There are cookies in the jars and boxes on the counter. The place is sparkling clean and festive."

My breath of relief turned into a chuckle and then laughter, and I couldn't stop. Steve's smile grew and grew until he too started laughing. I fell sideways on the couch and off his lap, lying on my back and heaved for my breath.

Steve leaned over, planting a kiss on my cheek and that finally made me stop. "I'm sorry," I said, my voice shaky. "You just came home from a mission and you're probably so tired and you haven't even had time to process it because you had to do all this and I just cry and laugh and I'm just a mess."

"I'm just glad to be home again and I'm happy I could help you get this done." He climbed in between my legs and finally pressed his lips against mine. The last bit of stress rolled off me and I hummed. "Oh, and if anyone in your family asks," he whispered against my lips, "something came up at work for both us," his lips moved down to my neck, "and we can't visit for Christmas."

"Oh, how I love you, Steven Grant Rogers," was all I managed to say.

His lips moved lazily against my neck, finding that spot just below my ear that turned me into putty in his arms. I raised my hips, grinding them against his, feeling the need for him bubble up inside me. But then he pulled back and sat up. "I love you too. But go take a quick shower and I'll warm up dinner. Your stomach is still growling."

I groaned and tried to kick him, but he dodged my legs and was up and by the fridge before I could say "bastard".

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