#tw sobering up

[emo-space-queen]

love dan on shut up i’m talking saying “when i left the internet, half of my audience went to kpop and half went to minecraft” pardon you sir, some of us went to alcoholism

[whatsfourteenupto]

Mel has gotten the Doctor wine drunk (which the Doctor didn’t even think was possible). He’s the kind of drunk who goes from giggling and bubbling how much they love their friends to suddenly fixating on the deep and unyielding ache inside of them between two drinks. Mel raises her eyebrows and pours them another and the pendulum immediately swings back again. So now it’s a rule that the Doctor can only have an even number of drinks and is not allowed to end on an odd number.

[soup-is-here]

Mouthwashing Spoilers

TW: Addiction and Self Harm

I wanna go on about Swansea's final monologue but it's hard to put into words, but I'm gonna try anyways cause it's a short, but strong story about autonomy again. This post ended up significantly longer than I wanted though

It's the autonomy to choose the "less healthy" option because it's appealing to you. It's the moral assignment to normality and stability. An alcoholic is an alcoholic by choice, technically, but do they owe us otherwise? Is it morally reprehensible to enjoy taking LSD at a party? Should we see someone as less than because they relax with a xanax instead of a hot shower? It's not healthy. We know that. We've seen anti-drug ad after ad after ad. But is that the part that's morally wrong, in and of itself? Does enjoying the drugs and chaos make Swansea a worse person?

Like him talking about his entire life and ending it by saying between the "stable" "normal" life and him waking up every morning with a new hangover, he preferred the latter. People always talk about getting clean and fixing their lives and Swansea did it! He did the thing "good men" do! A wife and kids and a trade job and sobriety! He was doing it! He was finally "worth" something!

And he hated it! I mean I don't know if he actually hated/despised it, but he misses his previous life. He misses drugs and partying and living like you might not wake up the next day. He said the thing that changed him was seeing himself dead in a ditch under the bright beam of a streetlight. Now he's looking down the barrel of a gun. And as he looks down it, he looks back. That was his preference. It felt good to be like that. And he wouldn't be here if he stayed there

We always have a narrative about drugs or gambling or sleeping around where a person suddenly realizes that they aren't "doing anything" with their life and becomes stable and it's always played like addiction is a false pleasure. Swansea got to the stability people said would be the real pleasure of life and that just wasn't true for him. One bad paycheck could've been the difference between his stable life and falling apart anyways. His lifestyle was going to kill him someday apparently, yet he's staring down the barrel of a gun at his steady trade job to feed his wife and kids.

I don't know quite how to word it but Swansea is the poster child for rehabilitation. There's this weight to him saying his alcoholic period was the best time of his life. Like it just hits at that pang that makes people wear DARE shirts while smoking weed and post those videos of smoking 100 cigarettes at once. Anti-vaping ads tell you about the damage they do to your body but everyone knows that already. Everyone knows "this is what your brain looks like on drugs." I smoke medical marijuana and it isn't good for my lungs but it's good for my pain. Doing drugs isn't good for me and I know that and that's sorta the point sometimes.

I don't know it's just this weird pang where I know what Swansea means, just not to nearly the same extent. I don't have an addiction so I don't think I could fully understand it. Maybe a better thing I could relate it to for myself is self harm. It's not healthy sure, but who do I owe health? Myself? Other people? And what is healthy? Is it feeling better now? Is it resisting now and feeling worse for it until it stops? What if the coping skills I learn make it worse? What if they make it better? Do I want it to get better? Does Swansea want to get better? What would better feel like to either of us?

Who knows until you try. Swansea got a collared shirt, a mortgage, and a credit card. He got a job and a wife and kids. He got sober. He got healthier, depending on your definition.

But did he feel better? He's looking down a barrel of a gun and he has to decide if he feels better. It doesn't seem like he regrets his new life. He says he wants his kids to be better than him. He wants good things to happen for them. He saw himself as one bad slip away from falling again. I don't think he felt better though. I think he got healthier. He likely would've ended up in the ditch he dreamt about, but we don't know that. We also don't know if that's what he'd prefer. But, we do know he got healthier, depending on your definition.

[mother-of-houseplants-2]

there’s nothing like the terribly specific hurt of growing up always trying to protect your little sibling from your parents, always shielding them and watching them like a hawk and teaching them not to be too loud or too argumentative or too in the way, only to watch your parents get better for them. not perfect, no, but better.

because it means that they always had the capability to be good. they always had the ability to be mature and kind and raise their children with love and easy affection and laughter instead of raised fists and sharp nails and terrible words. they were always capable of change. they just didn’t want to do it for you.

and you don’t want to be jealous because that’s your little baby sister, who you love, who you grew up protecting, who matters more to you than anyone on the planet, but you are. you’re jealous and it’s eating you up inside and you’re so sick with guilt but you can’t help it; you wanted the mom who loves you even when you mess up instead of slapping you across the face. you wanted the dad that makes weekend afternoons fun instead of getting drunk and weepy about his life to you like you’re a therapist. you wanted the parents you could trust to love you no matter what.

why does she get those parents and not you? why didn’t you deserve that mom and dad? why weren’t you enough for them to want to change? what did you do wrong?

[theloveinc]

two took edibles now all I can think about is you being takiishi’s little drug obsessed housewife that wanders around his home and annoys the crap out of Endo for taking up so much of Chika’s weird affection even tho you’re too spacey to acknowledge it fully

[altarfates]

Happy new years I will be in the future before you all and let me tell you it’ll probably still be pretty average 🙂‍↕️❗️

[ebonynymphette]

not nsfw but mini update?

lost my sobriety, sigh. this is a bit harder than i thought but it also feels so direr. m a bit lost honestly, so no intox post for a bit. might not be the best way to cope... :/

[frasermints]

i'm still gonna continue to goof on jb for his silly little outfits and his silly little ✌🏻😙✌🏻 poses and the gay little shoulder massages he gives auston on the bench but at the end of the day i'm really happy to see him happy. i'm really happy to see him doing something constructive like this. i'm really happy to see him putting time and effort toward something like this.

i remember the years of his very visible and public spiral into addiction and how people treated him and the spotlight he had on him before he (stated that he) achieved sobriety.

it's just really nice to see him have positive influences and something to look forward to and people that make him happy and people that didn't abandon him.

[rosesradio]

not to be the typical drunk white girl at the party but I love you guys soooo muchhchhchc

[peppermintmochafem]

<3

[mindmxtters]

on a related note I desperately need a pre-meteor au where the team somehow are already friends and get their paws on some prescription-grade gummies and it goes just about as poorly as you can imagine

[incorrectquotesideas-deactivated]

Person A: Do you want a beer? I’m paying.

Person B, going through the restaurant’s menu: No. Ugh, where’s the good stuff?

Person A, half jokingly: I thought you were an alcoholic.

Person B: Exactly. I’d need at least, like, four beers — without food — to get slightly buzzed, and my stomach can’t fit over 2 beers in it. I’m small. I’ll have a rum, neat.

[the-gay-trashmouth]

Sometimes being in fandom that has characters who's stories revolve around being an addict is like. A little mind numbing? Because I've been an addict, I am an addict. And half the "character A gets sober" content feels like an outsider describing addiction. not often do I see characters actually go into withdrawals on their sobriety journey. Not often do I see discussions of harm reduction or relapse benders. They always stop cold turkey, maybe have a one or two relapses (off screen), and they're better. Sure they still think about it but that's all it is right? Just constantly thinking about it?

Just a lot of the nitty details that get lost when you don't literally live that experience. Which isn't a bad thing, it's fanfiction and people don't have to bog down their fun fix it au with gritty reality. Just something I noticed.

[theloveinc]

BESTIE AHHH UR SO RIGHT SO MANY SUCCESSION AU THOUGHTS IT HURTS butttt thinking about what would happen w reader once someone gets the ceo position 🤭🤭🤭who do u think it would be 😱😱😱also bakugo is def kendall

(succession!au - here!)

UGHHH I COULD WRITE A WHOLE NOVEL ABT THIS but I know if I started I'd never fucking stop and we gotta flesh this out now. Now. sorry if it's a bit analytical rather than sexy tho.

To keep it on brand w/ actual bnha canon (or... projected? canon), OBVS I think Deku gets CEO position, which really actually matches if Bakugo is meant to be the Kendall-esque roll (AKA: everything he does is for the company yet he sees NONE of the fruits, #flop)...

And even though he's not exactly "out" of the company, it sparks this giant meltdown which causes him to lose YOUR favor along with a handful of others who want to kick him out (Roman behavior tbh)... like, board members Shindo Yo + Shishikura, for example...

(Cuz you're dating-but-not-officially-dating and constantly trying to reassure him that his value isn't dependent on his corporate position alongside trying to keep him sober(?)... but eventually he can't handle it anymore and both lashes out at you AND falls back into his nasty habits... which pushes you away entirely, at least temporarily)

And now that you're mad at Bakugo and... somewhat single (at least, not being tailed by a guard-dog-man at all times), I think Deku is taking notes from Todoroki and using this as his opportunity to snap you up; using his new CEO power to offer you a better position, better pay... a new boyfriend? Husband, even? Maybe???

Which causes Todoroki and Kirishima to up their game in trying to get to you, too.

(I think once Deku is CEO, Todoroki is probably moving companies and offers to take you with him to help separate yourself from Bakugo (same with Shindo), and Kirishima is just desperately inserting himself into your space by trying to convince you to not be so angry at Bakugo... even though... he's also purposely making things worse so there's a chance you guys NEVER talk again.)

IT'S SUCH A MESS!!!!!!!!!!!

[snazum]

ah fuck it i'm asking to the void but, does anyone know how many hours/days the events of HLVRAI span over? I might have to rewatch the series for this info ToT I do know they mention going to bed at the end of streams, so 4 days? fuck man i'm rambling cause i can

[mortarsynth]

most annoying part of drinking is not being able to Stay Buzzed so you just sorta end up drinking yourself into a shithead stupor sometimes trying to hold onto the feeling for a lil longer. but honestly how else is a man supposed to self medicate in this economy