#tw references to transphobic bullying

[pfhwrittes]

"you love him. you've loved him since you were 9 and you love him now 20 years later." TW: references to transphobic bullying, angst, fluff, allusions to offscreen smut, alcohol mention, menstruation mention. pairing: kyle x ftm!reader

1.5k words of childhood friends to strangers to friends to lovers. as always i've barely edited it so typos and errors may remain. edit to add: a massive thank you and shout out to @gemmahale for cheerleading me with this one and reminding me to trust my instincts. i love you a lot.

-- you love him. you’ve loved him since he first shared his curly-wurly during break time at primary school. head over heels puppy love. your mum teasing you with a “my little girl with her first boyfriend!” despite the way it makes your cheeks burn (and something twist inside your chest) when you both stand shyly together at 3.15 hand in hand waiting to go home. 

you love kyle when he’s the joseph to your mary in the nativity. you love the way the teatowel your mum leant his mum slips into his eyes and causes him to laugh and forget his next line about needing to find an inn. you love him when he wraps you up in a big hug when missus king takes a photo of you both as your mum cheers the loudest from the back of the little crowd in the assembly hall. 

you love kyle even when you both grow up and go to secondary school at 11, split up into different form groups and different timetables. you love him even more when he folds you into his little band of miscreants, “one of the boys” he says with a cheeky grin that warms you all the way through.

you love kyle when he chooses you first for the biology practical lesson, flicking little slithers of onion at you to make you laugh, despite the way anna-marie looks you up and down and whispers something cruel about how “he just pities the he-she” loud enough for you to hear. 

you love kyle when he skives off school with you the day your period takes you unaware. he sneaks in through the kitchen door 15 minutes after your mum leaves for work, a battered curly-wurly and bottle of oasis clutched in one hand and his rucksack in the other. you love him when he settles onto the sofa, dragging your duvet over the two of you, flicking the telly on so you can both watch bargain hunt together. 

you love kyle the day he cuddles you into his chest, completely uncaring about the way your snot and tears mark his t-shirt as you sob, both of you curled up on your bed. you love him so completely when he listens to you stutter out that you think you’re not really a girl. you still love him when he pulls away for the first time, a tiny frown on his face. you still love him when he doesn’t reply to your text asking him if he got home alright later that night. 

you still love kyle when he starts ignoring you in school, no longer coming to find you during lunchtime. you still love him when he doesn’t laugh along with harry when you trip during design tech but he doesn’t stop james hissing “freak show” as you rub at your hip from where you banged into their table. 

you still love kyle even when your mum sits you down at the kitchen and asks you how you feel about moving schools at 16. you still love kyle when you ask her “but what about kyle?” and her voice catches when she offers you a gentle “oh love” with wet eyes. 

you still love kyle when he stumbles into you at mattie’s house party when you’re both 18, a shocked look on his face when he takes in your close cropped hair and wispy facial hair on your cheeks, despite the fact you haven’t spoken in years. you still love kyle even when he calls you the wrong name and your mumble gets swallowed up by cheers from the kitchen as someone spots kyle in the hallway. you still love kyle when you spot him crowd mattie’s older sister georgia up against the bannister and kiss her breathless before leading her up the stairs with his hand on her waist. you still love kyle when you end up sobbing into alex’s neck, their hand rubbing your back gently as the dew from the front lawn soaks the knees of your jeans. you still love kyle even as alex murmurs that “you should just forget him babe” into your hair as you sob anew.

you’ve forgotten how much you loved kyle the next time you run into him, many years later when you pop into the pub under oath from mattie to meet her for a quick pint to catch up. you recognise the shape of kyle’s smile even if he is partially turned away to grin at a man with broad shoulders and a slightly flattened mohawk standing next to him at the bar. you’ve forgotten how much you loved kyle when he catches you looking and his smile slips momentarily as he offers you a tiny nod of acknowledgement before turning back to his friend. you’ve forgotten how much you loved kyle even when your eyes keep drifting over to him and the other three men in the corner booth as mattie fills you in on everything you missed during your years travelling around australia. 

you’ve forgotten how much you loved kyle when you bump into him again in the same pub the following week. literally bumping into him as you turn away from the bar with a pint in your hand. kyle steadies you with a hand on your forearm and you feel your heart soar before plummeting into the sticky carpet at your feet. you pull your arm away from him and your drink sloshes over the rim of your glass as you offer him a tight smile before stepping to the side. you’ve forgotten how much you loved kyle, but you can’t help but feel the warmth of his hand long after you’ve rejoined mattie and alex at your table. 

you’ve forgotten how much you loved kyle but a thrill goes up your spine when he asks you if he could “have a word with you, mate” as he joins you in the beer garden the week after that. you’ve forgotten how much you loved kyle but your heart aches as he stumbles his way through an apology. you’ve forgotten how much you missed your friend kyle when he makes you stutter out a surprised laugh when he talks about his friend soap knocking some sense into him. 

you’ve forgotten how much you missed your friend kyle when he texts you asking if you want to join him and his sisters for a chinese. you’ve forgotten how much you’ve missed your friend kyle when he hands you his vegetable spring rolls without asking. you’ve forgotten how much you’ve missed your friend kyle when after dinner he leads you up to his childhood bedroom and he kicks his dirty socks under his bed like you’ve seen him do many times before. you’ve forgotten how much you’ve missed your friend kyle when your ribs ache from laughing and he’s wearing that beautiful grin. 

you’ve forgotten how much you’ve missed your friend kyle when he slips into the open seat next to you at the pub, his arm slung over the back of your chair, much to the matching shocked expressions of mattie and alex. you’ve forgotten how much you’ve missed your friend kyle when he takes alex’s frosty demeanour on the chin. you fall in love with your friend kyle again when he responds to mattie’s pointed rhetorical “you know you broke his heart, yeah?” with a small squeeze to your shoulder and serious “i know, i was a fucking idiot.”.

you fall in love with kyle again when his hands shake on your waist as he leans in to kiss you outside your house under the flickering glow of a streetlight. just like you hoped he would so many years ago when you were both teenagers. you fall in love with kyle again when he pulls away to take in your stupefied expression and he asks if you’re okay, if he can kiss you again. you fall in love with kyle again when he gently turns you around so he can push you up against the front door to trail sucking kisses down your neck as your keys hit the doormat with a tinkling sound. you fall in love with kyle again when you ask him to slow down - wait - please - as he’s reaching for the top button of your jeans. you fall in love with kyle again when he traces gentle fingers over the scars on your chest, adoration in his eyes.

you love kyle when you trip over your boxers and his shirt the following morning as you stumble to the bathroom. you love kyle when you slip back into bed and he sleepily nuzzles into your neck. you love kyle when his phone blares his alarm from the back pocket of his trousers near the door to your bedroom 30 minutes later. 

you love him. you’ve loved him since you were 9 and you love him now 20 years later as he presses a kiss to your hair. you love him. -- taglist: @kaadaaan

[x-on-the-calendar-business]

ryan ross iceberg (tier 5)

tier 1, tier 2, tier 3, tier 4, tier 6, tier 7, tier 8

near end of the iceberg:

r.r. confessions twt account:

there used to be a ryan confessions account on twitter under this name, but it was deleted. however, people said the most unhinged shit on there and there was so much drama. i wish i could list specific examples, but i don’t have any unfortunately.

there is a new ryan ross confessions account here, but i think it was created after the last one ceased to exist [i]. this one also has some unhinged stuff on it, such as someone saying they used ryden theory for their gender studies class, and someone else claiming that ryan has a child on the way (they confirmed they were joking). also the person who claimed their friend hooked up with ryan in a bathroom or something like that.

there is just nothing going on in the ryan sphere so the stans are bored.

dank eyes:

this is the nickname for dan keyes because, when you look at his instagram handle dankeyes, it looks like dank eyes. in 2015/2016, this is how most of us referred to him. honestly, i still call him this most of the time out of habit.

light brown:

this is a…uh song? that shane morris (we’ll talk about him next) posted on his soundcloud in 2012 featuring ryan and danny fujikawa.

you can listen to it here for the lore:

shane morris:

buckle up for this one.

this is ryan’s former manager from about 2012-2016, and he was just an absolutely horrible person. the masterpost about all of his wrongdoings (which i will link of course) starts out with “tw: rape, self harm, abuse, pedophilia, body-shaming, sexism, swearing, talk of drug use, suicide, nazism, classism, generally dicky things,” if that doesn’t tell you how things are gonna go [ii].

there is so, so much that this could be an entire post itself, so i will give a tldr but link some posts for further reading. there’s a couple of things related to him that will also appear as their own entries, so i will save in depth discussion of those for later.

shane has a pretty extensive history of posting disgusting things on the internet: rape jokes, fat shaming, making fun of people who self harm, eating disorders, slurs, basically anything that is problematic. the post i’m going to link shows specific tweets and tumblr posts about this. he also has a history of bullying ryan’s fans, and the picture below is one of many examples of it.

so he was generally an abhorrent human being, but let me elaborate on some of the stuff specific to ryan. shane would often promise fans new music from ryan but never follow through with it, likely because ryan didn’t know he was doing this. he actually ended up leaking some of ryan’s songs, but we’ll touch on that again later, along with him impersonating ryan on both twitter and facebook. once he and ryan cut ties, shane also deleted ryan’s soundcloud, i guess in an attempt to “get back” at him and the fans by robbing us of music that was backed up anyway. he spread rumors that ryan is a drug addict and transphobic as well [iii].

the context that ryan is not really active on social media is so important here because he had no idea of a) the kind of person shane was and what terrible things he said on the internet, and b) the way he was attempting to sabotage ryan’s career.

don’t worry, shane is still at it with managing musicians and creating drama. he was travis scott’s former manager, and in 2021, he claimed that he helped travis fake all of his streams to launch his career [iv]. this could be true, but it’s shane so i always take everything he says with a grain of salt anyway. he posted the tiktok about it during the astroworld events, so it reads to me as an attempt to insert himself into the situation (which is so tone deaf for such an insane tragedy like) (and of course, i’m not a travis scott apologist either). i take it that he is still the same as he was 10 years ago.

like i said, there is so much more to cover about shane, but we still have more entries to go over in this tier. therefore, i will leave you with this link to the aforementioned masterpost:

and another link with some more information:

its for lovers or just friends:

i mentioned this in tier 4, but this is a quote from ryan’s last ever livejournal post from june 25, 2006: “You don’t have to love me. You already did. At least enough to keep me smiling from South Carolina to Virginia.it's for lovers (orjustfriends)”

brie larson disneyland:

this refers to this picture of ryan at disney with brie larson.

i think it was from around 2017? they were hanging out because brie and alex greenwald used to date, and they were engaged before breaking up. there’s more pictures of them from this day in this twitter thread [v].

chelsey:

okay put your seatbelts back on cause this one is another entry that is a lot.

chelsey lynn is also known as the panic! stalker, and for good reason. she is a pretty terrible person and a lot of the reason that ryan and brendon don’t speak anymore. as discussed in an earlier tier, ryan and brendon did run into each other at a hooters and hang out, but around that same time, they tweeted each other occasionally, although they weren’t necessarily friends; however, the chelsey saga ultimately led to the complete ending of their friendship (which, granted, is not the worst thing in the world since brendon is also a pretty abhorrent person).

in 2012, chelsey started to catfish ryan pretending to be brendon. she did this by hacking shane valdez’s (panic!’s former photographer and brendon’s former roommate) facebook account and messaging ryan under the guise of brendon. she told him she wanted to rekindle their friendship and was able to get ryan’s number, though she claims she got it from one of his friends, which is still weird. she catfished him for nine (9) months. she was able to coax all sorts of private and vulnerable information from ryan, such as the split, his relationship with z, his childhood, and more [vi].

once a fellow panic! fan and tumblr user got chelsey to confess, she went to shane morris about it, who thankfully actually took it seriously (even though shane has his own history of impersonating ryan, but we’ll talk about that later). due to the general public finding out about chelsey’s wrongdoings, she released an apology, but no fans really accepted it [vi].

chelsey did leak screenshots of her texts with ryan, which i won’t post here because i don’t think it’s appropriate, but you can find them if you feel so inclined. she also messaged someone on facebook stating that she has pictures of ryan she could leak, but she’s “nicer than that” [vii].

as i’m sure you can imagine, once ryan found out the truth, he was pretty upset. he made some instagram posts right after that were fairly sad.

the thing is, chelsey didn’t even like ryan that much; she was just obsessed with brendon and sarah. she stalked their families as well, and even had a spreadsheet of all of their information. she hacked several of their accounts too. she took photos from their private accounts and posted them on her tumblr, posing them as “rare” photos of brendon and sarah [vi].

the worst part of all of this? CHELSEY REMAINED ACTIVE IN THE FANDOM. she had a popular instagram account, called brendonurievines, and sarah followed it.

sarah ended up leaving a comment on instagram about it, in which she says there is nothing but love between them when they see each other…okay then. she also says she doesn’t follow her which is just a lie [viii].

chelsey has met brendon and zack hall multiple times, even as recently as when brendon was in kinky boots. she has deleted her instagram, but her youtube channel is still up. she hasn’t posted in 2 years, but even in 2020, she was posting videos of brendon and sarah.

lastly, she posted a statement on her instagram stories about it in 2018, taking no accountability.

so in conclusion, chelsey is a terrible person and one of the darkest sagas in ryan’s life. the way she catfished him during an already rough time in his life and gave him false hope that he could rekindle one of his oldest friendships was insanely gross. she shouldn’t be forgiven for this, and although she isn’t active anymore, we still shouldn’t forget what she’s done and continue to hold her accountable. here’s a post you can read to get more details than i put here:

gremlin:

a far more lighthearted entry than the last couple.

in 2015, ryan dressed as a gremlin for halloween. we’ll come back to this halloween party in the next tier.

zooey deschanel:

in around 2011, ryan and zooey were friends. they appeared on each other’s instagrams and tweeted back and forth some. the pics of them together are from vicky t’s christmas party in 2011.

the tragic love life of ryan ross:

this a series of tumblr posts by @pathetic-at-the-disco that chronicle ryan’s relationships. it starts from his high school girlfriend (who most of fever was written about), and it was originally supposed to end with helena, but they left off before moving on to z berg 5 years ago. it also discusses jac, keltie, katie, and his fling in cape town [ix].

they are fairly long posts because they contain a lot of detail, but i definitely recommend reading them because they’re really informative. definitely very well done and impressive. in fact, i sourced them a lot when talking about jac and keltie.

if you remember, in tier 2 i said i would link more info about his relationships with jac and keltie later in the iceberg. so here we are:

this is another post for further reading that corrects some things that were incorrect in the original post:

hung out with freshmen:

i cannot find the source for this anywhere, but in an interview, ryan said that when he was in his junior/senior year of high school, he hung out with freshmen.

tweets that aren’t his:

back to shane morris i fear.

in 2014, he hacked ryan’s twitter. i’ll talk about the specific tweets he made in the next tier. ryan did find out about the hacking and tweeted this.

all of the tweets are still up, and his twitter bio still says, “Nope. It wasn’t me.”

this is my coming out party:

in 2009, someone hacked ryan’s twitter and tweeted this, and it was absolutely iconic. i actually quote this frequently lmao

ryan ross struggles:

this is a twitter account, ryanrosstruggle (shoutout kiki), who posts struggles from ryan ross stans. struggle accounts basically just post unhinged or cringey tweets (or other posts) from people within the fandom. there are other kinds of posts they repost, but it’s really hard to describe, so you should just go to kiki’s twitter to see some of the things she tweets [x]. here’s a couple examples:

up next, we finish the actual iceberg before diving into the deeper waters.

tier 6

references:

[i] https://twitter.com/ryanrossconf?lang=en

[ii] https://astroe.tumblr.com/post/42733669382/shane-morris-and-why-everybody-hates-him

[iii] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/172418363736/hey-can-you-elaborate-on-the-whole-shane-thing-i

[iv] https://www.dailydot.com/unclick/travis-scott-shane-morris/

[v] https://twitter.com/crossboydreamie/status/1569466922042802178?lang=en

[vi] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/172832450316/the-time-that-ryan-ross-was-catfished-by-a-fan

[vii] https://dallonsmiles.tumblr.com/post/42837896821/here-are-a-few-screenshots-from-a-conversation

[viii] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/172147291981/last-year-i-remeber-in-a-comment-sarah-left-on

[ix] https://pathetic-at-the-disco.tumblr.com/post/171140808026/the-tragic-love-life-of-ryan-ross-all-links

[x] https://twitter.com/ryanrosstruggle

[scarletdex]

⟪ ✶ ⟫ — RULES.

Please read rules before interacting with this blog!

✦ The canon for this blog is set in Scarlet, after Mochi Mayhem — while Florian is still attending Blueberry Academy as an exchange student. As this blog is canon-divergent & headcanon-based, not all events play out exactly as they do in Scarlet. An overview of Florian's storyline up to the blog's current canon will be added soon! ✦ This blog will potentially cover some heavier topics, including mentions of bullying, child neglect, parental death, nightmares / night terrors, and struggles relating to Autism. Any possible triggers will be tagged as [ tw : trigger ] If there is anything you need tagged or I've missed putting a tw on, please let me know! ✦ Shipping will be present on this blog, with CandyAppleShipping ( Florian / Kieran ) being a major focus. Others ships may be mentioned, including SpringSpriteShipping ( Florian / Ortega, Previous Relationship, ) StarfallShipping ( Juliana / Penny ) & TimeMixShipping ( Arven / Giacomo. ) If I decide to discuss any ships not mentioned here, I'll be sure to make an announcement & update this section. ✦ No rude or vitriolic asks, they will be deleted automatically ( unless I feel the need to address anything said in them. ) ✦ No NS4W asks! While I may be an adult, Florian is not and I will not tolerate anyone attempting to sexualize him. If you cross this boundary, you will be blocked. Complimenting his appearance is still fine, just don't go too far. ✦ While I appreciate every ask I get, I am selective with the ones I choose to answer. Please don't be upset if I don't answer your ask or spam the same question. ✦ Replies to asks will generally include art drawn by the mun, but it isn't always a guarantee. I will reply with only text whenever I think it's appropriate. ✦ Please be patient with me! Art can take some time to make and I don't always have the energy to draw, especially on days that I have work irl. ✦ Asks from other muses are totally okay, just as long as it's clear who your character is and has a visual reference that I can easily find ( if necessary. ) ✦ Mun / OOC asks are also okay! ✦ Pelipper / Musharna Mail is accepted, I will be extremely selective with any Malice sent. ✦ I will accept Magic Anons, but I will be selective when doing so. ✦ Please don't use any art from this blog without explicit permission! ✦ DO NOT INTERACT IF YOU ARE : Racist, Homophobic, Transphobic, Ableist, Fatphobic, Proship/Anti-Anti, MAP/NOMAP, Zoophiles/Poképhiles, TERFs, Gender Critical

MUN INFO : Mj ( @wildflowercryptid ) • 25 years old • They / Them • EST

[lovesickramblingsofmine]

Donno how to tw: this, but it's a real bummer regarding queer acceptance and scary changes.

I, am probably gonna have to stop going to the new-years camps after this one. As in this will probably be my last camp. I've only got two people who I really enjoy hanging out with, and one of them is the transphobe from my last post, suffice to say I expect that number will drop to one not too far from now. And like these camps used to be my home, and I still enjoy being a leader for the kids and some of the stuff surrounding the camps. However I can't imagine myself being out there, at all. The only other genderqueer person I've at all seen there was only there for one camp and then didn't come back. Many other queer leaders have been bullied away due to sharing their non-straight thoughts. So I don't think I'll return after this year, and I'm also taking some distance from the church in general (donno if I mentioned this but the camp is ran by the churches in my area) and planning on being way less present at their weekly youth-events. Another place that used to be home, but where I cannot imagine being openly queer. Just sucks. I'll stay in the scouts (also connected to the church) for now, because I really enjoy and identify with being a scout. I recon I'll stay as long as they'll have me, or until I move.

My gymnastics club on the other hand. There's a young trans-guy there and his mom is obviously supportive and she's pretty high-up in the club. And a lot of the other adults knew him before he transitioned (even though he's stealth now) and all refer to him using chosen name and pronouns. The club is the only place I can really see myself being open with who I am and that being respected, the scouts are more of a question mark. This apart from my lovely friends of course. Idk where I'll end up but it feels like some pretty big changes are looming on the horizon and I'm not a huge fan. Love walking on this road towards who I rally am though, wouldn't turn around for the world.

[messenger-of-stupidity]

PSA

TW: Transphobes, homophobia, cursing

HI AND WELCOME TO AN EPISODE OF ME NOT BEING THE BIGGEST DUMBASS ON THE INTERNET DESPITE MY USER!!

So we all know that the internet is full of stupidity. My point of existence is to deliver the nice stupidity to other people. But there are other messengers of stupidity, but they take the negative stupidity and feel the inane urge to deliver it to people who didn’t ask. 

There are (sadly) lots of people who like to waste their pathetic lives trying to make others miserable. 

SO HERE’S SOME FACTS AND REASONING ABOUT WHY THE FUCKING IDIOTS ARE MORE STUPID THAN THEY REALIZE!! (because I like making fun of the world’s shitstains.)

1) If you are located in the US and you start to cyberbully (Here’s the definition of that for the oblivious: the use of electronic communication to bully a person) there are laws against bullying. Breaking a law results in punishment. Every state except Alaska and Wisconsin includes an explicit reference to cyberbullying in their anti-bullying laws. So if you live in the US and wish to cyberbully someone, than just know that you can be caught and face repercussions. And don’t think going anon can save you. It’s scarily easy to figure out who’s operating under anon. Source 1 Source 2 (Because I actually cite my sources instead of spewing nonsense like the bigots.) 

2) If you don’t believe that being transgender exists, there is legitimate scientific proof that it does. Dr. Julie Bakker from the University of Liège, Belgium, and her colleagues from the Center of Expertise on Gender Dysphoria at the VU University Medical Center conducted a study on the brains of transgender and cis individuals. You see, brains have specific gender patterns that are unique to men and unique to women. After collecting data, doing brain scans, ect. they discovered that the brain patterns of transgender individuals related to their desired gender. In layman’s terms, their brains are literally similar to the gender they identify as, regardless of their biological birth sex. Source

3) If part of your argument in defense of this is me “pushing my liberal agenda”, first off that’s a weak ass argument. Government can go fuck itself I literally don’t care. So I’m not going to waste my time, breath, or energy pushing some political agenda. Also during a survey of conservatives and liberals, the more education one had the more likely they were to be liberal. Also conservatives are more likely to not hold empathy for other people. Serial killers are also known to hold less empathy for other people. So if you wanna shout proudly that you have a similar mindset to a serial killer, be my guest. Typically a stupid thing to do, just saying.  “Highly educated adults – particularly those who have attended graduate school – are far more likely than those with less education to take predominantly liberal positions across a range of political values. And these differences have increased over the past two decades.More than half of those with postgraduate experience (54%) have either consistently liberal political values (31%) or mostly liberal values (23%), based on an analysis of their opinions about the role and performance of government, social issues, the environment and other topics. Fewer than half as many postgrads – roughly 12% of the public in 2015– have either consistently conservative (10%) or mostly conservative (14%) values. About one-in-five (22%) express a mix of liberal and conservative opinions.“ Source “According to Hasson et al. [28, p. 1450], “liberals often attribute external causes to people’s plight (e.g., perceive unjust social practices and structures as causes of poverty) and feel more sympathy toward them, while conservatives attribute internal causes (e.g., perceive laziness and drug use as causes of poverty) and feel less sympathy.” There are also important ideological differences. On the one hand, liberals may be more empathetic and compassionate toward the suffering of others because they tend to emphasize “fairness and equality” and “justice” [29, p. 656]. On the other hand, conservatives may be less empathetic and compassionate because they are more concerned with “order and traditionalism” and “ingroup loyalty, respect for authority, and purity” [29, p. 656].“ Source

4) If you’re going on anon to spread hate, then you already know you’re wrong. (r/confidentally-incorrect anyone?) Why else would you not say it outright? Are you so ashamed of your incorrect opinion? Then why spread it? Do you just like the misinformation? 

5) Before you try to flex your “free speech” rights on me or anyone else, let me tell you something.  The amendment rights ONLY apply to protect you from the government. Tumblr is a private space and not government run, therefore your amendment rights don’t fucking exist here. Even in public, government owned spaces there are still limitations. (Ex. You can’t incite panic. That’s not a protected right. You can’t slander *knowingly spread damaging incorrect information* someone’s name, nor use libel *<-- written slander*) Source

6) How does who another person love have anything to do with you? If you’re so concerned about the children (*Important to say that the kids literally do not give a shit. They just see two people kissing or holding hands and move on with their lives. They don’t get as hung up about it as you do.*) then you need to apply the same thing to heteronormative relationships. Despite the phrasing, Homosexual literally just is there to explain who you’re attracted to. Kids aren’t going to be learning the nuances of gay sex or something.  I mean honestly, why are you thinking about gay sex so much? You wanna admit that you’re gay, you can. There are safe spaces here. Same thing when thinking about what someone has hidden under the fabric of their clothes. 

Now, as much as my OCD brain hates it, that’s all. I can’t end on a factor of five. (*Watch me have a panic attack about this later*) I know that the people this actually needs to reach won’t read it, but maybe when an anon enters an ask box to spew this bullshit you can just link them here or use one of these points against them. I don’t know. I just woke up pissed off today and decided that this is one of the problems I’ll tackle with this rage. 

[genderqueerpositivity]

I finished Irreversible Damage this weekend.

(All the TWs below)

I took notes in a tumblr post draft as I went, and it's a long mess that I'm not sure anyone wants to read. It might clean it up and post it as a review if anyone is interested.

Overall, it's a terrible book. There were a few passages that hit like a gut punch, but for the most part it wasn't a difficult read...because Shrier is so disconnected from the reality of what it is to be a transmasculine person. That book is not representative of the transmasculine experience, I'm not represented in the pages of that book.

It's about us, without us. (And no, I don't--and won't--count Buck Angel as representation of the average transmasculine experience.) Apart from a few cherry picked words from trans Youtubers and a handful of detransitioners, this book is led by the stories of anti-trans parents--this book isn't about the transmasculine experience, it's about the transphobic parent experience.

It's anti-transmasculine propaganda...and worse, the further into the book you read, the more obvious it is that the book is intended to function as a guide for parents to practice DIY conversion therapy. This is literally a guidebook on how to abuse your trans child.

Isolate them (literally move across the country if needed, states without laws that protect trans people are strongly recommended), separate them from their trans friends or other affirming people in their lives, prevent them from having access to phones or internet, never ever use their correct name or pronouns, force them to do manual labor or physical activity if possible, take away or destroy their gender affirming clothing or binders, and make the home "private" again (in other words, never let anyone find out that your child is trans or what you are doing to your child because of their transness).

If there is anyone who believes that transmasculine people don't experience a very distinct and specific form of transphobia, I would ask them to read this book.

The kind of transphobia that trans men and transmasc people face intersects heavily with ableism and sexism. Transmasculine people are heavily infantilized; it's shocking (but not surprising) how...paternalistic an attitude this book takes towards both teenage girls and women and transmasculine people, including trans people who are legally adults. It is clear that Shrier does not think highly of teenage girls and young women...they are easily misled and easily confused, lonely and desperate and self-hating, incapable of separating emotion from reality, easily influenced by social media and peers.

Shrier encourages parents to exert as much control over the lives of their legally adult trans children as possible, and to use any potential leverage available to manipulate trans adults into stopping their transition. It's obvious that Shrier doesn't view trans adults as actual adults at all, but as childish individuals who are mentally/emotionally/neurologically underdeveloped. Any neurodivergence, mental illness, or history of trauma adds tax, and is proof that a person isn't mentally competent to transition.

It is also obvious that the potential future fertility of any transmasculine person is valued more greatly than our personhood, bodily autonomy, or mental health. At no point is it ever stated that child-bearing or motherhood are optional. The possible loss of fertility is the "irreversible damage"...and whether that potential fertility is even wanted by the trans person in question isn't relevant.

There are some other WTF moments in this book too. Shrier doesn't believe that spiritual abuse is real, rather it is nonsense invented by "gender ideologues" in order to accuse Good Christian parents of abuse. Shrier comes across as anti-therapy and anti-mental health medication; she downplays depression as "the blues" and anxiety as "nerves", and goes on to suggest that those who take antidepressants and anti-anxiety medications are looking for an easy way out and simply trying to medicate away normal human emotions. She openly opposes conversion therapy bans that prevent the practice of conversion therapy against trans people, and she opposes school anti-bullying programs that teach LGBT+ acceptance.

This book is also anti-queer, anti-pansexual, anti-asexual, and to a point anti-bisexual. Shrier is clearly obsessed with the amount of sex that trans people (including minors, there are some really gross statements in this book) are or aren't having; because so many trans people identify as asexual, at one point she refers to the trans community as a "cult of asexuality". Bisexuality is considered a phase of normal teenage exploration on the way to developing an either straight or lesbian/gay identity. And if you think that lesbian/gay teens and young adults get a break in this book, you're wrong: Shrier discourages parents from affirming their gay and lesbian teens and she is clearly against GSA's in schools.

I could keep going for a long time, but I won't.

Anyway, after reading that fucking disaster, I've just started Detransition, Baby and I'm waiting and hoping for it to get good; the first ~60 pages are kind of slow-moving, more words than plot. I am interested to see where it goes though!

[385bookreviews]

2.96 The Art of Being Normal by Lisa Williamson

SPOILERS

Pages: 344

Read Time: 3 hours and 13 minutes

Overall Rating: ★☆☆☆☆ Storyline: ★☆☆☆☆ Dialogue: ★☆☆☆☆ Characters: ★☆☆☆☆

Genre: YA Fiction

TWs for the book: Transphobia, deadnaming, bullying, outing, homophobia, mentions of s*x, s*xual assault, mentions of genitalia, violence, alcohol, dysphoria, smoking, cussing, t slur

POV: First person; Leo and Kate (David)

Time Period/Location: Modern day Southern England 

First Line: One afternoon, when I was eight years old, my class was told to write about what we wanted to be when we grew up. 

The Art of Being Normal tells the story of Kate (David), an in the closet trans girl going to Eden Park school, and Leo, a stealth trans boy from Cloverdale who gets transferred to Eden Park after experiencing an attempted sexual assault hate crime at his old school. Leo is set on not making friends or interacting socially until he stands up for Kate, who is being bullied. At this same time, he also falls for a girl named Alicia. Things get serious with her, and Leo starts tutoring Kate in math, and everything seems fine for awhile, but whenever Alicia and Leo go to have sex, he panics and finally tells her that he is trans. She immediately breaks up with him, and her best friend Becky does some digging and finds out that Leo is trans and tells the entire school. Leo is determined to run away and find his father down south in Tripton, but Kate insists upon going with him, offering to pay for everything. They go, and find his father, but he rejects him and calls him a freak, claiming to not know him at all. Leo is heartbroken, but him and Kate return to Eden Park and Cloverdale. Kate comes out to her parents and she is accepted, and Leo finally learns what really happened between his mom and dad. Kate and Leo both return to school, and the night of the Christmas Ball, their friends, Essie and Felix, reveal that they have set up an “alternative Christmas Ball” to happen at the abandoned pool in Cloverdale, and Kate and Leo go together, Kate finally getting to dress like a girl in front of her peers. At the end of the book, Alicia comes and finds Leo at his house and apologized for the way she acted and for not standing up for him to Becky, and they agree to start over as friends.

Kate (David) Piper: Kate was a really awkward narrator. It feels like she doesn’t even view herself as a girl, and she is never referred to as such until the end of the book. When Leo reveals to her that he is also transgender, her immediate response is, “You’re a girl??” and “Were you in disguise at your old school too?” which is very out of character and very odd. She is out to her two best friends, and even alone they never use her preferred name or pronouns, and she never expresses discomfort at this either. She also performs these neurotic “inspections” of herself, that are very uncomfortable and awkward to read about. It’s almost like the author forgot Kate was trans until it furthered the plot.

Leo Denton: Leo is kind of an asshole honestly. He can be very mean to Kate and up until the last chapter of the book he never genders her correctly or uses her proper name. He offers no support to Kate at all. Also the fact that he didn’t reveal to Alicia until the moment they were about to have sex that he was trans didn’t sit right with me either, and then was mad like it was her fault that she felt lied to. Granted Alicia didn’t handle it the best, but honestly, in that situation, I would be upset too. Sometimes it isn’t safe to be out at first, but it never should have gotten that far without him telling her. Alicia wasn’t some kind of transphobe for not wanting to have sex with him, proven by the fact she kept it a secret and defended him to her friends, and also tried to make amends with him in the end. Having a genital preference is valid. 

Essie and Felix: Supposedly Kate’s two best friends in the whole wide world, they were both very flat characters that had no development. They claim to be supportive of Kate but show no effort in supporting her transition until after she comes out to her parents. Her friends describe her as gay for having a crush on a cis guy, even though she has told them she is trans. Kate doesn’t correct them.

Livvy Piper: Ok I am making a specific reference to Livvy, Kate’s younger sister here, because the entire way she is written and her purpose in the story is really gross. Kate specifically mentions her bra size and when she gets her period and sees her as everything she can’t have. It’s very weird and very uncomfortable. 

Storyline: Honestly, you can tell this book was written by a cis woman. I feel as if no trans people were consulted on this at all. The story itself at its bare minimum was good, but it fell really flat as far as good representation. She makes passing seem like such an easy thing, the second that Leo and Kate are dressed in boy and girl clothes respectively they instantly pass with everyone they meet. She makes it seem like passing and being stealth are the goals when it comes to transitioning, which it is not for a lot of people. Also, Leo’s trans experience as a stealth, socially transitioned person is more validated than Kate’s ever is. There are a lot of mentions of deadnames, and whenever a character comes out they always say things like “I’m a girl trapped in a boy body” and “I was born a girl”. And please, for the love of god, if you are a cis author, do not write your characters saying slurs like tr*nny. In my opinion, cis authors shouldn’t be writing books about the trans experience when it is not something they have first hand experience about.

Representation: Leo is FtM transgender, Kate if MtF transgender. There is brief mention of a lesbian couple holding hands. As far as trans representation goes, it’s horrendous. Alicia and her parents are the only people of color in the entire book.

Summary: Overall, this was a really bad representation of trans youth, and the fact that this book is marketed towards kids in the 12-16 age range makes me really pissed off. It’s good to have trans rep and books about trans experience but it was not done or handled well and I was fairly uncomfortable reading it as a trans person. 

[runawaybouqet]

wdy headcanons LMAO

a lot of these probably go against canon so ghnjhgtbh

TW FOR A FEW : s/h, homophobia, abuse

-Eteled is a tsundere and Austin is something close to a yandere. -Austin has high-functioning autism. -Eteled is dyslexic and has PTSD. -When alive, Henry was 5'7 and Austin was 5'4. Currently, Eteled is 5'5 and Austin is 11'2. -Austin has two brothers and Eteled has a sister. -Eteled and Austin kill anything that comes through the hallway. -Eteled/Henry is demihomosexual and a demiboy (they/he). Austin is trans-masc-nonbinary (they/it/he/xey/beep) and pansexual. -Eteled doesn't try to be violent, it's a coping mechanism to extreme stress and he probably has anger issues. -Henry had severe depression. -If Austin and Eteled took a second to not try and kill each other, they'd probably be helping each other with their mental issues. -Eteled would help Austin adapt to a new life with autism. Austin would work Eteled through his depression. -Eteled has probably tried to delete himself as a means of s/h. -Something in Henry probably didn't even hate Austin, but instead looked up to him with a burning passion but didn't know how to handle his popularity. -(Remorse AU!) Eteled is very defensive about people using Austin's pronouns correctly and would metaphorically kill anyone who referred to xey as only "he/him". -Austin and Eteled can both make their presences known in a room without having to shift from the Wii. -Eteled is stronger than Matt. Austin is stronger than both of them combined. -Kyle developed a crush on Sam at some point between Sam's Story Parts 4 and 6. -Kyle always felt bad about mistreating Eteled and only said he didn't to look cool in front of Sam. -Sam is bigender/pansexual and Kyle is cis/bisexual. -Kyle apologized to Sam after the events of The End. They're probably still friends. -Eteled never forgot about Sam and probably knows when she's thinking about him. -The corruption/electrocution when Henry died took away most of their happiest memories. -Eteled is scared of men who are drastically older than them because of his dad, but doesn't like women because of his mom. His mother wasn't bad, she was just weak and didn't like to do anything about his abuse. -Henry's family is homo/transphobic, especially his dad, that's why he abused them. -Henry came out to his family when they were about 14 years old. -Austin has two dads. -Henry wanted to make Austin submissive and scared before it died, just to make an impact. -MAJOR TRIGGER WARNING: Henry's dad probably sexually abused him to scare them out of being gay. -Eteled is always tired bc he doesn't understand the concept of sleep. -Both Eteled and Austin have probably accidentally referred to Sam as their daughter before. It all stemmed when Sam called them both "Dad" and both of them responded. -Sam probably jokes about Austin and Eteled being married because of how much they bicker and argue and act. -Sam takes Austin and Eteled to school on his phone so she can scare off her bullies. -Eteled is good at math and geography, Austin is good at math and science so they're Sam's way out of studying. -When Eteled gave Austin his chest scar, he probably used up all of his energy to exert enough force to just penetrate it.

[kirksfattitties]

asks you can smell the privilege and internalized ableism radiate from

(tw for ableism and other bigoted implications)

i’m bad at reading tone but even i understand that this is 100% you being condescending and trying to cover it up with smiley faces and false sincerity. and i don’t appreciate that.

before i get into deconstructing your shitty ableist argument, i want to explain the reasons i believe in self diagnosis (self-dx):

even professional diagnosis doesn’t start with a doctor diagnosing you. there has to be a reason for seeing the doctor. some people see a doctor in their adult life because they’re struggling, some people are taken by their parents, some people are referred or suggested that they see a specialist. whatever it is, you don’t just see a doctor and they magically give you a neurodivergency. people have neurodivergencies before they see doctors and even if they NEVER see a doctor.

the psychiatry system is flawed in MANY ways and to say that it isn’t means you’re denying the experiences of people with less privledge than yourself. also like psychiatry isn’t gonna suck your dick. you don’t have to be a bootlicker lol

in many places (hi hello i’m from america where our government tries to indirectly kill us by not providing us with adequate healthcare! i and many other people have many issues we can’t get fixed because simply our government cares more about the economy than us), seeing a psychiatrist or a therapist or going to a mental hospital or WHATEVER is INCREDIBLY expensive. and to assume that everyone has access and enough time/money/energy/transportation/whatever to do all of that is classist and elitist.

ANYTHING medical (including mental health) is biased towards white cis men. most studies are done on white cis men/boys. because of this, people who aren’t white cis men (or people who aren’t perceived as white cis men) are often not diagnosed. the system is racist. the system is sexist. the system is transphobic. people don’t know how to diagnose autism or adhd or personality disorders or other neurodivergencies or even mental illnesses in black people and other people of color, in women, in trans people, etc. and GOD FORBID someone be in multiple (or all) of those categories. saying “just go get diagnosed :)” is a privileged statement to make.

shocker! the psychiatry system is also ableist. if you’re already diasabled (whether it be mental or physical) and you see a doctor about ANOTHER disability? the doctor is most likely going to shoot you down. or at least be weary about someone having mutliple disabilities.

also most people who diagnose are neurotypical. they have never and will probably never experience neurodivergency so they can never fully understand it. they operate off of stereotypes of neurodivergent people and usually only stereotypical behavior of neurodivergent white cis men (which, as i mentioned before, is problematic for anyone who isn’t a white cis man). neurotypical diagnosers don’t know the neurodivergent culture and aren’t trained to recognize very common things (like masking for example).

a professional diagnosis can also be weaponized. not everyone can get a professional diagnosis because there are some neurodivergencies (such as autism and personality disorders) and mental illnesses (like depression) that can have legal and medical respercussions to have in your record. trans people can be denied medical and legal transition for being professionally diagnosed. people can lose custody battles for being professionally diagnosed. a professional diagnosis can be used as justification for taking away someone’s body autonomy (especially if that person is also physically disabled).

a LOT of neurodivergencies also have some type of symptom (or symptoms) that make it difficult to interact with people. troubles recognizing facial expressions, troubles understanding certain phrases and types of speech, paranoid about people, audio processing issues, being nonverbal in an environment that doesn’t accommodate for it, overstimulation, extreme social anxiety, discomfort in new situations, problems with eye contact, and a lot more. because like. for many nd people, interacting with people is very difficult and stressful. and hey. if you want to get a professional diagnosis? take a WILD guess what you have to do? FUCKING INTERACT with people! LIKE?? JEHDJJDKEKKDKDKDS. do you know how many professionally diagnosed nd people i know who made their appointment COMPLETELY on their own without help from a parent or family member or friend? LITERALLY ZERO! and i know A FEW nd people who have professional diagnoses! so if someone has social issues that prevent them from doing tasks like calling and making an appointment, showing up for an appointment, talking during the appointment, etc and ALSO doesn’t have familial or friend support (because newsflash! people who are friends/family of disabled people can still be ableist)? almost impossible to get a diagnosis! plus, the diagnosis process is TIME CONSUMING. not everyone can focus on a task for that long and not everyone can miss work/school for that long.

so those are the reasons i support self-dx. (although there’s probably more that i’m forgetting but i have adhd and it’s hard for me to remember things!)

so hopefully you now understand my reasons for believing in self-dx, and perhaps even you’re pro-self-dx now because before you were just uneducated on these issues and how they impact people who aren’t you.

but in case you’re still anti-self-dx and probably hate already-marginalized neurodivergent people, let’s talk about this horrendous ask (series of asks, actually) that i got sent. i feel like i can feel the self hatred and internalized ableism OOZING from this ask and into my inbox, so thanks for that i guess /s

“Sometimes people who self diagnose can take away from those who are actually nd, even sometimes from themselves.”

starting out strong with the ableism on this one by separating people into “self diagnosed” and “actually nd” people. self diagnosed people ARE actually nd

there’s not a limited number of nd resources. this isn’t a math equation of only x amount of people can be nd because there’s only y amount of resources. more people realizing they’re nd will actually MAKE more resources for nd people and will bring more awareness to being nd

even IF someone self diagnosed, and they go back on it later, what harm was done? they learned some coping mechanisms? they made some nd friends? neither of those are problematic and i think they’re both actually very helpful. i think nt people SHOULD learn more about nd people and stuff because i think that will lead to WAYYY less misunderstandings and WAYYYY less ableism

“There are many people who fake nds for attention,”

hey anon, what fucking world do you live in that nd’s are cool enough to fake having? because i would LOVE to live there. like, i literally had a post about my personality disorder (which i will not be specifying) i had to delete because people were sending my anons about how i was “scary” and “threatening” now that they knew i had the personality disorder i have. last year i left a discord server because the ableism i was recieving from not only the members of the server, but the mods as well. there are very few people i know irl who i tell about my personality disorder, but when i tell people about my adhd, they start treating me different. they infantalize me and make fun of me and use “jokes” about stereotypical adhd behaviors to alienate me and they even TELL OTHER PEOPLE without my permission. i was SEVERELY bullied throughout elementary and middle school for being nd. i have been refused job and educational opportunities as well as literal medical attention for being nd. people aren’t “faking” being nd, and if they were they probably wouldn’t be doing it for long because it’s not something that’s EASY to deal with.

kinda ironic that you’re saying people can’t diagnose themselves but that YOU can tell when someone is faking their diagnosis. that’s both hypocritical and a double standard.

masking exists. if you think someone isn’t “acting nd enough” they’re probably masking because they’ve been fucking bullied and harrassed. also you’re probably basing whatever you think nd is on stereotypes. not every nd person is sheldon cooper lol.

this is a side note but can we talk about how you’re literally just taking transmed rhetoric and molding it to fit nd people? like. you really come onto MY NONBINARY NEURODIVERGENT blog and expect me to validate your recycled “but what about the REAL [insert group] people?” ??? like grow up, elitist. you’re not better than anyone else just because you lick some boots 🥾 👅

“and claiming that self diagnosis (and this is just what I interpreted) is just as valid as professional diagnosis”

it is 😌

the only difference between self diagnosis and professional diagnosis is that a professional diagnosis can also get you medicine. not every neurodivergency needs meds and not every neurodivergency can be treated (at this time or even ever). for example, my pd (self diagnosed) doesn’t have a specific treatment but multiple symptoms of the pd (all professionally diagnosed) have specific treatments and medicines that work, so patients are given/diagnosed with/prescribed those instead. also, medicine doesn’t work for everyone! and sometimes people are allergic to or take medicines that will conflict with any new medicine.

“can really devalue the account of someone who actually has a disorder”

here we go again with that “self diagnosed” vs “actually nd” bullshit. literally just say you hate poor people n minorities and leave lol

someone having a different experience than you isn’t devaluing you, but if you’re the one who always has the spotlight maybe you should use your privledge uplift other marginalized people instead of feeling angry when everything isn’t all about you 100% of the time

“I have a second ask”

i don’t want it

“Plus it can be damaging for a person if they self diagnose wrong.”

how? what if they learn information that they wouldn’t’ve otherwise known like coping mechanisms that help them with their own neurodivergencies? that’s definitely not a bad thing

i think it’s funny that you bring up that people can self diagnose wrong and don’t even MENTION that doctors can diagnose wrong. like. you know. the people who GIVE OUT MEDICINE to people. i think it’s MUCH more dangerous when a PROFESSIONAL diagnosis is wrong. what are self-dx people with wrong diagnoses gonna do? read up on nd tips? maybe smoke some weed? drink some coffee? that’s about all they can do with a self-dx. but if a MEDICAL PROFESSIONAL gives you an INCORRECT diagnosis, they can ACTUALLY fuck you up.

“I was recently diagnosed with PTSD, a disorder which I would have never considered I’d have.”

that’s great about your professional diagnosis! i don’t know you but i’m glad you’re finding out about yourself and getting the help you want and/or need /srs

sorry if this sounds blunt, but honestly i’m not surprised you never considered you could have PTSD. based on your asks, you sound like you have a lot of internalized ableism you need to work through and a lot more research about neurodiversity you need to do. being anti-self diagnosis is a common belief among a lot of people with internalized ableism and a lot of these same people are the ones who have no issue with and even SUPPORT auti$m $peaks. many nd organizations that are run BY nd people (like asan) actually support self-dx.

“If I had of diagnosed my own symptoms and then started treating myself or taking precautions based on my self diagnosed "condition", it could of really hurt me.”

how? taking precautions to preserve your mental health is NEVER a bad idea. i’m not ptsd, but someone i care deeply about DOES have ptsd and has shared a lot of the precautions and coping mechanisms for ptsd with me and honestly they’ve been incredibly helpful. it’s almost as if different neurodivergencies and/or mental illnesses have overlap and that’s why there’s a whole community for us to be able to share these resources and information with each other!

the same person was rejected a formal autism diagnosis because of their ptsd, plus the fact that they’re transgender and the fact they have symptoms of adhd. it’s not really my place to talk about their experience with professional diagnosis, but i’ll send this post to them and allow them to add on their experience in a rb if they’re comfortable with that. but it’s almost as if their experience with the professional diagnosis process was unhelpful, harmful, ableist, and transphobic 🧐 and unfortunately this is a pretty common experience

“Also, by self diagnosing, I devalue the account of a person with the disorder l assumed I had.”

how? if someone thinks they’re nd, they have a legitimate reason for thinking so. either they have another neurodivergency than the one they thought they had, or they’re neurotypical and need to figure themself out and have a need for support. either way, they learned more about the specific neurodivergency, more about the nd community, and more about themself. i don’t see how that’s a bad thing.

if you think self-diagnosed people’s experiences inherently have less value, that is straight up ableism. especially considering that other marginalized identities and minorities have trouble getting professional diagnoses, you might also be bigoted in some other way. or at the very least, refusing to acknowledge your privilege.

“only one more I promise”

i don’t want it

“I understand that doctors are expensive and professionals can get it wrong,”

okay. if you understand this, then dm me your information so i can bill you for the cost of my professional diagnoses, the cost for my therapy sessions, the cost for my medicine, and the cost for transportation to and from all these places. PLUS the cost of the work and school i’ll be missing for these sessions. 🤲

“but self diagnosis can be really harmful to yourself or others.”

nah, you’re just ableist and a gatekeeper lol

“If you feel like you have a disorder, go see a psychiatrist, you may have it.”

[remembers when i went to a psychiatrist who diagnosed me with two major symptoms of a personality disorder and said i had other symptoms of the pd as well but refused to diagnose me with the actual personality disorder because i was a minor at the time and he told me “kids don’t have personalities so they can’t have personality disorders”. i understand being weary about diagnosing children with personality disorders because they aren’t fully developed but this dude straight up told me that i didn’t have a personality. this man literally only worked with children so that means he literally never diagnosed personality disorders. this man was literally just lazy and didn’t care about his patients. this man also refused to believe me when i told him the medicine he prescribed me made my symptoms worse and even made me hallucinate. he ignored me and refused to change my medicine so eventually i just changed psychiatrists and they put me on a new medicine that DIDNT make my symptoms worse and DIDNT make me hallucinate. also i looked it up after our session and apparently ONLY people with my pd and related ones experience hallucinations on that certain medication. it’s almost like his refusal to diagnose me and ignoring my symptoms/concerns harmed me. this man also constantly misgendered me and told me that homosexuality and transgenderism should’ve still been in the dsm. like golly, it’s almost as if being queer and neurodivergent in an extremely conservative state is harmful and dangerous. and that psychiatrists aren’t immune from being homophobic and transphobic and ableist.] but yes :) perhaps i should see another psychiatrist in this conservative state :)

“I don't want to undermine anyone's actual experiences, but it can be dangerous.”

then stop undermining people’s actual experiences :)

no ❤️

“If you feel like something's wrong, go see a professional.”

the whole point of the neurodiversity movement is that there IS no such thing as a “normal” brain, so saying that neurodivergent people have something “wrong” with them is ableist.

💰 🤲 hand it over

“I don't want to offend, I just don't want anyone to get mislead or hurt. :)”

you absolutely meant to offend. you literally said that self-diagnosed people’s experiences aren’t valid and have less value than people who have professional diagnoses

i know more people who have been (and personally have been) mislead and hurt by professionals than by simply existing as a self-diagnosed person

also i want to say that being pro-self dx is NOT being anti-professional/formal diagnosis. i think that people should absolutely get a professional diagnosis (if they are able to without negative repercussions)! being pro-self dx is more inclusive of marginalized people (like people of color, women, lgbtq+ people, people with multiple disabilities, etc). pro-self dx is simply just saying that professional diagnosis isn’t the only option

(neurotypical people and anti-self dx people don’t add anything; pro-self dx neurodivergent people are allowed to add with their experiences if they want)

[deyasworld]

( Skip this post if it shows in the tags of specialty subjects please. This is a personal post, I’m on mobile and I can’t add readmores 🙏 )

I was debating whether to answer two anon asks I got or not, mostly because I don’t like to gratify aggressive anons with a response.

🚨 TW: T.E.R.F. ideology and misinformation

Like always, I never understand where the asks come from, since I rarely create posts or add comments to reblogs, so I scrolled to see which post she was talking about.

It’s this post about a Twitter thread where Twitternauts roast a cisgender swimmer that mailed a statement complaining about a trans swimmer she competed against and how it is unfair due to “biological advantages” and all that transphobic jazz.

Supposedly I’m the chosen user to get aggressive towards because I added this to the tags when I reblogged, and because I have a cartoon icon:

Anon inquired ( 🚨TW: Misinformation )

How was that girl supposed to tell Lia Thomas to fuck off and leave her alone? Since when was feminism about calling women weak? If Thomas was a man, you'd just think she was a sexist bully. She pointed out Thomas knocked her right out of her spot.

I re-read the post to see if I missed something, because these are some heavy accusations. I found out that the swimmer ended in 17th place while the trans swimmer she complained about ended in 8th, and that despite that, she insisted that the trans swimmer had a biological “advantage”, and it was unfair.

The original post doesn’t include the full statement, so I Googled it to see if I could find something on the “knocking out of spot”, or what we believe to be Physical Assault during the competition.

🚨 TW: Transphobic statements

I read it in full carefully, to make sure I didn’t miss something important, and it turns out that the infamous “knocking out of spot” refers entirely to Reka being upset that she didn’t rank higher, and believes that if it hadn’t been for Leia and her “biological advantages”, she would have ranked in 16th place, and that the 9th place swimmer would have ranked to 8th, her rightful spot for the past 5 years at Virginia Tech.

As you can see, there was no assault, only bruised egos as I suggested. Reka believes with all her might that she has a disadvantage against Leia, so maybe it’s pretty obvious that it is Reka, >not me,< who strongly believes that women are “‘weaker’ by nature”. As for the case of the other swimmer who was “second place” to another separate trans woman, this is again about the individual turnout, maybe things will be different next season.

Next issue. ( 🚨 Misogyny and Transphobia )

How can you enjoy things like the Powerpuff Girls and Wonder Woman yet be for Lia Thomas doing this?

I don’t know, offended stranger, maybe the PowerPuff Girls met the RowdyRuff Boys, bully boys engineered to be their match in power and dynamics, and they still managed to beat them by outsmarting them ���‍♀️ It might have snowballed my beliefs of Female Empowerment by Resourcefulness I don’t know.

It sure must be unfair for Wonder Woman to be in the Justice League, knowing that for the longest time, she was the only woman in the team 😔 Not because she didn’t have someone to relate experiences with, but because she was surrounded by the… Far Stronger™ male superheroes. Poor Diana, alone, with the power of the gods, far from Trans-Free Themyscira.… 😔

Next question:

And why aren't cis men not getting more shit for not being trans inclusive? Why is it always about women?

They Are!!! And it’s not enough! Advocate for it! Be part of the change!

I can only speak as someone who was assigned female at birth and identifies as a Demi-Woman, and when I say I want to support my Trans Sisters, I speak for myself! Tumblr consists of a majority of users that have gone through the Female experience at some point in their life, some trans and some Cis.

Maybe the reason you see us encouraging our trans sisters more than you see cis men advocating for Trans Men is because you don’t associate with them that much, and you likely don’t bother to encourage them.

Time for the last ask, ( 🚨 Targeted transphobia and Severe Accusations )

I find it really frustrating that tumblr used to be woman positive and girl power and allowing us to say no and have boundaries and now we're actually standing up for someone like Lia Thomas (I don't feel this way about trans women like Danica Rom). If trans women often say "Look how terrible a cis woman is for saying no to me", then why do they always want to do things with cis women?

Girl what are you talking about?? “Always”??? The trans women are getting in your space and they won’t take “No” for an answer??? Are you capable of distinguishing sexual harassment from being personally uncomfortable??

I miss the old Feministblr, the one that would preach about empowerment through community, the one that asked for compassion and action.

I’m so sad I can’t browse the tag anymore without running into radical posts.

Let me just tell you that it was NOT the Trans Women that killed the vibe, it was the Transphobes, the Trans Exclusionary Radical So-Called-Feminists! THEY killed the vibe! The vibe that taught me so much self love and love for my peers!

I miss it so much, but it was people that decided that trans folk were deviants that ruined Tumblr for everyone! And in particular to the Feminists! We had such a good vibe going on! And the Transphobes KILLED IT!!

Look, even if you ever get harassed by a trans woman, it will be just that one woman’s actions, and she’d need to be reprehended. We don’t have to go after the entire trans community because One or two out of MILLIONS in the World is despicable! The human race is so vast and diverse! In cultural expressions and shapes!

We have so much to fight for! Economic Inequality, Street Safety, Systematic Oppression, Bias in the Justice System, Objectification, Internalized Misogyny, Sectional Discrimination, Racism and Colorism, 🚨Infantilization, Sexual Freedom, Reproductive Choice, Feminicide & Human Trafficking to name a few! And you choose to make trans women in sports the biggest threat to our modern society?? You need to reevaluate your belief system, because that’s not what Feminism is about.

I’m tired. I’m going to sleep.

[bangbaby]

(#｀ε´# )ゞ please do not interact . . .

if you meet basic dni criteria (are homophobic/transphobic, racist, sexist, fatphobic, etc.) and/or are under the age of 18.

꒰ ˶ᵔ ᵕ ᵔ˶ ꒱ no thieves allowed . . .

i’m not currently taking requests for ocs or fics, nor allowing reposting or translations of any of my works. unless specified that a work has been cross posted on [ AO3 ] or [ IG ] — this will be the only other platform i upload on. if you see my stuff posted anywhere else, please notify me immediately. thanks!

work protected under copyright law, all rights reserved.

⊹₊꒷︶꒷꒦‧₊˚⊹︰꒷

WELCOME TO KIKI’S KINGDOM !

##AUTHOR: don’t forget to love each other!

certified witch, praiser of storms and master of dungeons.

키키 [ KIKI ]

↠ 00’ liner • filipina • aus • she / her

↠ infj - t • gemini • earth-bender

↠ swiftie • staymidzy • multi

notoriously has a thing for curly-haired dorks, caped crusaders and space latinos. oh, also florence pugh.

BLOG STARTED: SEP 23RD 2021

important shout outs to @skz-bibi and @fizzydrink698 for inspiring my layout and getting me back into storytelling/writing (even if a lot of it is in dot-point form). their works are always so creative, beautifully simple and super enjoyable to read— so for anyone who’s found their way here, they forever have my support and i really recommend checking them out!

↠ most of my posts and works are sfw, but some may have suggestive, implied or a sprinkling of nsfw content. i will be tagging these under “spice” (feel free to avoid)— but regardless, please make sure to carefully read any trigger warnings and descriptions before you start reading!

↠ as a terrible writer of second person— a lot of my works will be centred around idol x idol, member x member and original characters. feel free to block, stop reading and interacting if at any point this aspect of my work makes you uncomfortable. that being said, just because i make works about certain ships doesn’t mean i condone any distasteful behaviour/actions (such as bullying idols to interact or come out: especially in real life and using coincidences as “proof”, etc.) on my blog or in my asks. i am also not afraid of blocking or reporting anyone i feel is violating this space or my work.

↠ my works are completely fictional. they will however use both fictional and non-fictional settings, people, creatures and/or objects. they will often be focused on romance, humour or otherwise cinematic drama/action/violence. they may contain mature references, ie. mentions of drugs, sex, death and offensive language but will be tagged accordingly.

↠ last but certainly not least, i am not south korean! i adore the country’s and its people’s beautiful culture and will happily research/include their stories, customs and traditions; but please be aware i won't know absolutely everything about south korea. to those who do— feel free to correct me if i’m ever mistaken! similarly, the thoughts/ideas that i portray through any character within my works do not necessarily reflect my (nor any idols’) ideals, opinions or sexualities.

for my benefit and ofc, yours—

##rec ; recommended fics

##ref ; ideas, writing tips or art/work that inspire me

##visuals ; unsorted reblogs that vibe with my work

(also so i can stop reposting + give credit where it’s due)

##kiki.txt ; personal posts (not necessarily fic related)

##made by kiki ; gifs, edits and more by me

##kiki reacts ; reblogs (responses) to works i’m tagged in

##kiki answers ; all asks regarding me or my work

##taglist comms ; all asks regarding my taglists

##mutual comms ; all asks from my mutuals

##feedback for kiki ; any feedback i’ve received

on the occasion i create a post that requires warnings, i will tag it with— “tw (word)” (eg. tw racism, tw assault, etc.) so you can avoid any of them if needed. if there is any work of mine you find triggering and i’ve failed to tag it appropriately, please send me an ask with a reference link and i will do my best to fix it as soon as possible. thank you so much!

no camping for front row tickets !

if you would like to be added to my permanent taglist (and be notified every time i post), please send me an ask (off anon, ofc) with the 🤎 emoji!

i highly recommend this; only bc “bangbaby” is actually a sideblog off my ghost of a tumblr account, so you might not able to see everything i post on your dash. if at any time you would like to be removed from this list, please send me a🚪.

you can also ask to be tagged in a singular or upcoming fic (if/when applicable or i have posted a teaser); just include the title of the fic in your ask and i’ll add you (but this won’t add you to the permanent taglist)! to ensure i’m able to tag you properly, please make sure your blog is not hidden (under the visibility section in your blog settings).

##FIRST CLASS: let’s go power rangers!

@skz-angel ( for lucy! )

@one16core ( for lucy! )

feel free to slide into my asks . . . :)

send me an ask about anything— anytime you want and i’ll try my best to respond asap!

i’m very happy to interact with anyone about the things i get excited about; but if you’re afraid of showing your face— don’t fear! ask to join my not-so-secret club of masked misfits, just don’t take any of the names or emojis listed below!

##ANONS: you are not like the regulars, the masquerade revellers . . .

• taylor swift ( you should’ve been here )

[ nav ] [ masterlist ] [ skz ] [ itzy ] ©bangbaby

[transmascjfk]

i'm,, trans and hc chihiro to be a male..

i'm sorry, but i don't quite understand how that's transphobic. could you please explain how chihiro is transmisogynistic? (sorry if i come off as rude - that's not my intention and i genuinely just don't understand, though i would like to!!)

What is transmisoginy?

"Transmisogyny is a distinct category of transphobia in that transmisogyny mainly focuses on trans women and other transgender individuals who demonstrate femininity, whereas transphobia is a more general term, covering a broader spectrum of prejudice and discrimination towards transsexual and transgender individuals. Julia Serano states in Whipping Girl that "when the majority of jokes made at the expense of trans people center on 'men wearing dresses' or 'men who want their penises cut off' that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny. When the majority of violence and sexual assaults committed against trans people is directed at trans women, that is not transphobia – it is transmisogyny." "

Chihiro is written to mock trans women, to say that in reality trans women are secretly men, she is a man who is weak and uses being trans as a way to escape her problems, this is a thing that is also said to trans men a lot, that theyre just trying to avoid the hard parts of being a woman by becoming a man. Even if the writters intended it to be like that or not (which they probably did because transphobia is a big thing that happens a lot, obviously) it's still transmisogynistic. Thats that on that

This is a pretty common transphobic trope actually, the "Turns out this one character was actually from the opposite sex??!!", theres more examples of this in other games outside Danganronpa.

But also her experience is pretty different from other examples, her experiences are way too similar with trans womens experiences.

This is mostly for the cis people who call her a crossdresser and refuse to change their mind, on it, sit down.

Written by a trans man.

Don't tell me whats transphobic and what it's not transphobic if you're cis. Just sit down and read.

Tw: transphobia, transmisoginy, death mentions and blood in the pictures.

The game implies a lot of stuff with her dialogue, it doesn't straight up says "I don't want to be a woman anymore, I'm a man" like everyone claims it does.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I'm going to get stronger...and accept who I am... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Strong enough so that when someone says "even thought you're a boy" I'll be okay. I'll get better! ]

[ Alt text 3:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I wrapped myself in lies. I'm weak. I want to destroy that version of me forever! ]

[ Alt text 4:

Chihiro Fujisaki: ... I want to change. ]

[ Alt text 5:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I have to change. I don't want to be weak anymore ]

She goes to Mondo not because hes masculine, but because she admires him and his strength. She never once says it's because shes a man or because Mondo is a man.

[ Alt text 1:

Chihiro Fujisaki: Maybe talking to Mondo about it will help give me some courage... ]

[ Alt text 2:

Chihiro Fujisaki: I admire... your strength... ]

These dialogues can be read in two ways, the first one being the one the game tries the hardest to put in your head thats shes a man, all of this guessed by other people btw not what she herself says. Which is really transphobic, because she was written as a trans woman and then theyre like "uh no actually hes a man, because he was born as one but hes a coward so he started to dress as a woman to hide from his problems. Because thats what people do right? People who dress as their oppossite gender are so pathetic, specially men amiright? Ahaha"

Reading it in this way really weird, you're doing a lot of mental gymnastics because you would literally call her a trans woman with all of this if the rest of the trial, that consists of cis people assuming shes a man, didn't happen. And sadly you're following transphobic ideas by this. Because the canon is transphobic and transmysoginistic.

And the other way is just read what she says, that she just wants to be stronger and stop lying to everyone, basically about being cis, because shes not, shes amab (assigned male at birth) and thats probably what she said to Mondo, but most people when a trans person who already passes or is in their transition comes out many people tend to think "oh so youre your gender assigned at birth and not the one you claim to be?", because they don't get what being trans is and they think only "biological gender" is a thing. Basically, misgendering and invalidating the trans person.

I can guess all of this just because of how vague they decided to make her dialogue, not even showing how she tells Mondo about being amab.

What did she said to Mondo? "I'm trans"? "I'm a man"? "I was born a man"? We dont know, because they didn't show it and she died right afterwards and then everyone was like "Chihiro was secretly a man" to solve the case and thats it. A lot of people in the discourse get their information from Monokuma who isn't either Chihiro or even Mondo. Monokuma knows many things but he can't read minds to know if she was really trans or not, only she could say it but she died so she couldn't explain if shes trans or not.

[ Alt text:

A youtube comment by Gail Frisbee, posted 4 days ago, this comment was edited by the autor. The comment says:

"It's honestly increible to me when people try to argue that a scene in which a female-presenting character gets their genitals groped and then is posthumously referred to as a male from that point on can't be transphobic just because that character calls themselves a boy in some other side content later. It's on about the same level of intellectual honesty as claiming that Quiet from MGS5 isn't really fanservice because she totally breaths throught her skin you guys.

As it turns out, if you really dig down deep into the lore, Chihiro is a fictional character and the same people who wrote the genital investigation scene also wrote the lines that character says in the game as well. It's a shocking twist, I know." ]

Her fears of being outed and people founding out her secret (being trans) or being transphobic is used as a gross big twist. A trans woman being used as a mockery of trans people? Great totally normal (/sarcasm)

Read this post made by a trans woman. I'll be using this only part but it's still a great read.

[ Alt text:

So. There is a lot to unpack here, but I want to start with something that specifically hurts me as a trans woman, and that's how the game flippantly uses real world horrors trans people face as shocking reveals and twists. You can go down the list for "worst nightmares" of trans people incluiding:

Threatening to be outed against your wishes

Outing yourself to a trusted friend and being met with rejection, or worse, violence

Having your body and privacy examined and invaded

Having your deadname used and being misgendered after death, when you can't correct them ]

Now, let's go to her backstory for a bit. I will be using the wiki for this. (Which sadly uses he/him for her 💔)

" When Chihiro was a child, he became the subject of harassment and bullying. He was always told to "be a man" and that he was "so weak despite being a boy", and because of that, Chihiro slowly but surely began to develop a "weakness complex". In order to escape the bullying, Chihiro began to dress as a girl so that people wouldn't bully him as a weak boy. "

This doesn't sound like a normal crossdresser, this sounds like a trans woman who was bullied for being different when she was younger, like many trans people, and then she decided to transition because she's a woman, she wanted to be more feminine and stop being seen as a person shes not. Specially after so many people tell her to basically man up when she doesn't want that, because shes not a man.

Have you ever heard of the classic stories of "since I was little i knew i was different, i was a boy who liked playing with dolls and was more feminine than the rest" or "i used to be a tomboy when i was little, i had mostly male friends, i liked playing with car toys and was more masculine than other kids" coming from trans people? This just sounds as these types of stories to me.

People also like to say that alter ego uses he/him pronouns and says shes a boy. Many trans people can misgender themselves for personal reasons too guys, she could've been trying to misgender herself because she didn't felt like she wasn't enough to be a real woman, this happens a lot to trans people. If people constantly tell you that you're not actually transgender or you just feel like you're faking it then you might actually believe it, thats were most "detransitioners" come from. And thats basically what they made her, a detransitioner.

Some of you might also don't get how shes trans because you think she doesn't perfect or exact trans stereotypes. Trans experiences can be similar on the feeling of not fitting in, dysphoria, etc. But trans experiences, stories, transitions and complete lifes can be very different, because we all (including cis people) live different lifes, experience, process and cope with things differently. So i can understand why you might not get her being trans coded at first, don't worry. But try instead of just not caring because you don't get it at the first try, to see what trans people say.

This whole discourse its mostly cis people talking over trans people about their own experiences (incluiding the dead trans coded characters experience) saying if theyre valid or not and denying stuff not wanting to learn anything, completely refusing to it because "In canon hes a boy" ok then in canon shes written in a transphobic way too but most of you don't care about that. You would rather call her a crossdresser than try to acknowledge how obviously trans coded she is and how thats used as transphobia.

The way most cis people act in this discourse is very transphobic to me to be honest, if you think you're a good ally but act like this then you should get more educated on the topic as a whole and about trans people too.

-the trans Chihiro flag to finish this up, she has a bit boobie! good for her! good for her.

[pudgecuddles]

My Content & Boundaries

[No need to be alarmed! Nothing has happened to prompt this, I just figured it was about time that I pin a post like this.]

Welcome to my kink blog! This post is here to introduce myself, disclose what type of content that I may reblog or post here (including trigger warnings) and state my boundaries concerning who I want and don’t want interacting with me or my blog.

Intro:

Hi! I’m pudgecuddles! I’ve been here in the community as a lurker since 2018, and finally got around to making this sideblog about 2 years ago under the handle “prettypudgy”. I changed my username slightly after some twitter douchecanoes took screenshots of my content and made threads mocking it.

I am 24 years old and identify as female. Please use she/her pronouns when referring to me. I won’t be mad at all though if you use they/them or he/him, but I’ll probably just gently let you know what I prefer  :)

I am aromantic/asexual, meaning that I do not experience romantic or sexual attraction to people of any gender identity or expression. I still experience aesthetic attraction, and of course enjoy the concept of weight gain as a kink.

Although I am participating in them, I am not looking for RP partners at the moment!

My Content and the Content I Reblog:

Although I do like fluffy and mild WG content (ya’ll who make that type of content are amazing and beautiful and deserve all the love and reblogs in the world), I do enjoy darker and less popular tropes/kinks as well. Up until recently the majority of the stuff I’ve reblogged has been cute and moderate, but I have been working on my own stories and RPs which happen to be on the more intense/darker side.

My content going forward may include topics such as:

Extreme Weight Gain Immobility Mind Break Pet/Pig Play BDSM Humiliation Manipulation Feminization Dub-Con Watersports Eproctophilia Slob Abusive Relationships (it’s not something I enjoy writing, but I may reblog it)

I will always tag specific topics and tropes that may not be for everyone such as immobility or fart kink stuff. And definitely triggering content such as dub-con or degradation. For example, I will tag it as “Immobility”, “cw Immobility” and “tw Immobility”, in case someone has only one tag blacklisted.

Please keep yourself safe! This community is supposed to be a comfortable, creative area where users can curate a homepage of content that matches thier tastes and respects their boundaries. I will not be offended at all if you decide to block me or my written/rendered content. All I ask is if you’re already an acquaintance or mutual of mine that you let me know before you do  :)  You don’t even need to tell me why, I just don’t want to wonder if I made you mad or were ignoring me on purpose.

Zero hard feelings, seriously! The block button is there to protect you!

Boundaries:

Please do not hit on me, or unexpectedly discus sexual topics without me knowing your age and instigating it. It is different if I already know you and am comfortable speaking with you like that.

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow that drawing is ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°) You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 18+: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

No: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Wanna see him get bigger? ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

Yes: Pudgecuddles: Wow! I love your line work! It’s so clean and really compliment’s the shading! You, 16: Thank you so much! ^_^  What do you think about the shape of his hands?

Minors: If you do not have your age, (or at least an 18+ only, or “I am an adult!”) in your bio, I will either ask you for your age or choose not to interact directly with you. This is not a punishment or a personal vendetta. I just do not feel comfortable interacting directly with minors when it comes to NSFW kink content. I am okay with reblogging your content, as supporting those in the community that are still young and exploring their identities in a safe and distant way is very important to me. I am so happy for you that you have found a welcoming and protective space to safely explore your sexuality and discuss your favorite groups. It’s what I wish I had when I was younger.

But I ask that you don’t attempt to private message me or participate in conversations that are sexual in nature.

Bigotry: Do not interact with me, my blog or my content if you do not support all LGBTQ+ identities. This includes but is not limited to: Transgender folk, Bisexuals, Pansexuals, Polysexuals, Omnisexuals, Asexuals, Aromantics and Non-Binary/Agender peeps. TERFs, exclusionists and Battleaxe Bisexuals are not welcome and will be insta-blocked. Same with those that participate in “discourse” on these topics.

If you do not believe that Black Lives Matter or support Donald Trump or any conservative party, politician or policy, please unfollow and block me. They have killed thousands of people and actively lobby against minorities.

This is the only time that I will be political on this blog. I am infinitely more outspoken/advocating on my main, but this sideblog is supposed to be a stress-free, kinky escape from the horrors of reality. I go on my main to reblog petitions, I go on here to reblog erotica.

This does not mean that I do not care, or that I am not an ally or that I enable racists or transphobes. It just means that I recognize that sometimes people get burnt out from constantly being reminded of the policies that harm them, or acts of violence against their race. I want this blog to be an escape, for both myself and my followers.

Hate/Trolling: Hateful or negative comments on me or my friend’s content will get your account blocked. This ranges from “ew” to telling them to kill themselves. This behavior is not tolerable anywhere, and the more extreme comments will be reported to Tumblr staff. Comments saying our content is disgusting will automatically tell me you think it’s hot and are in denial. How very sad. I will dedicate my grossest story to you specifically.

Inter-Community Drama: Mob behavior, brigading, witch hunting, call out posts (vague or by name), vitriolic hate and bullying of any type is something that makes me extremely uncomfortable due to having experienced cyberbullying in the past. Making people deactivate, continuing to attack them after apologies and other related behavior will get you blocked no matter the quality of your content, your standing in the community or our relationship history.

I cannot deal with seeing that behavior and it scares me continuing to interact with those that I learn can so easily turn on their friends like that.

That’s All Folks!

[getoheaven]

some information on TERF dogwhistles — TW: transmisogyny, transphobia, s*xual abuse mentions and s*icide/baiting mentions

i’m going to use this short and concise guide on spotting TERF ideology as a jumping off point. from Cambridge university’s women campaign:

HOW DO WE SPOT IT?

Terf ideology uses a lot of the same phrases and tropes, which often seem innocuous on the surface but are actually being used as dogwhistles for transphobia and transmisogyny. Overall, terf ideology hides itself in feminist language, often claiming to support trans rights while actually working to undermine them.

“Gender critical”, discussed above; terfs also often dub themselves “biological women” or “adult human females”, and frequently highlight biological and anatomical signifiers such as “XX” (denoting chromosomes) and parts of reproductive anatomy.

“RadFem”; terf ideology calls itself “radical feminism” after its origins in parts of the feminist ‘second wave’ and its opposition to what it sees as “liberal feminist” positions of trans inclusion, although in reality there’s nothing “radical” about biological essentialism.

Certain waves of terf ideology have attempted to separate trans people out from the rest of the LGBT+ community, so you might see references to the “LGB community” or “drop the T”.

Terfs often dub trans people and their allies the “transgender lobby” or “cult of transgenderism”.

They tend to dislike the term “cis” (non-trans), and often argue that the term ‘terf’ itself is “hate speech”, or a “misogynistic/lesbophobic slur”.

Current terf discourse places a lot of focus on trans children, perpetuating myths that children are being given surgery and hormones (“transing children is child abuse!”).

Another terf trope is painting trans women as predators who want access to women’s spaces so that they can harass and sexually assault cis women.

i’ve also compiled a list of a some other dogwhistles you might want to take into account:

on tumblr or twitter look out for URLs with heavy allusions to genitalia/uteruses/wombs/xx chromosomes

concern trolling - statements such as “we just have concerns” used to filibuster and put roadblocks in the way of genuine conversations about trans people. they are not concerns that will ever be appeased, they also divert the topic away from the issue at hand to purposely muddy the waters of the trans “debate”.

following on from the last point, referring to the issue of trans rights as a “debate” or “discourse”. it both delegitimises the urgency of trans liberation, reducing it down to a debate on a level playing field as well as dehumanising trans people.

“genital preferences are transphobic” - this is a phrase that supposedly originated within the trans community itself. it’s often used in TERF circles as an example of how unreasonable trans people are. it’s also been used to smear the trans community and say that this belief is a very common one amongst trans people, when in reality most of us take a much more nuanced position. to illustrate my point, these stickers were put up by TERFs who then claimed that trans people had made them:

“lost lesbian sisters” - usually in reference to trans-masculine people. the implication being that trans men are not really men but are actually lesbians “brainwashed” by the “trans agenda”

TRA(s) - stands for Trans Rights Activists. obviously there’s nothing wrong with being an activist for trans rights, this is just a specific abbreviation created by TERFs. this also goes beyond simply being an ally, it implies that trans activists are part of a well-funded and organised conspiracy.

41% - this one is really horrible. the National Centre for Transgender Equality surveyed 6,450 trans people and found that 41% of them had attempt s*icide, often due to being harassed and bullied because of their gender identity. TERFs will often weaponise this statistic to suggest that “choosing” to live as a gender other than the one you were assigned is bad for a person’s mental health. in more extreme cases, TERFs will use it as a blunt instrument against trans people suffering with mental illness and egg them on to “join the 41%”. source

TIM /TIF - TIM stands for Trans Identified Male, referring to trans-feminine people. TIF stands for Trans Identified Female and refers to trans-masculine people. i feel this doesn’t need much explanation, it’s simply misgendering.

i think i’ve exhausted most of the big ones, if anyone wants to add on to this it would be much appreciated. lastly i’d like to link to Katy Montgomerie’s youtube channel- she’s a trans woman who regularly talks about and debunks TERF rhetoric, particularly on twitter. her videos have been extremely helpful in compiling this list and getting to understand the ways in which the ideology perpetuates itself.

i highly recommend her series “TERF wars”, which is where she goes through all the transphobic nonsense she’s seen on twitter in the past week. also check out The XX factor, a podcast/stream where she and Christa Peterson discuss the rise of the gender critical “movement” in the UK. i especially recommend this to anyone who is confused about how the conversation around trans rights became so deeply toxic over the past 5 or so years.

thank you for reading, i hope this was as informative as i intended it to be.

[littlerose13writes]

Dress however you please. Call yourself whatever you like. Sleep with any consenting adult who’ll have you. Live your best life in peace and security. But force women out of their jobs for stating that sex is real? #IStandWithMaya #ThisIsNotADrill— J.K. Rowling (@jk_rowling) December 19, 2019

tw transphobia

Joanne is a highly skilled author who therefore is well equipped to deliver carefully formed sentences (or whole ass essays😑) that are loaded with subtext that can be argued away. Please look up the definition of ‘dogwhistle’, which refers to phrasing and statements that feel innocuous enough to get by the majority of people reading them but signal to others with the same beliefs that this person agrees. In their nature, they are easy to convince others of at a low level because they ‘don’t seem hateful’ but they are, and this tweet is full of them:

“Dress however you please.” = I believe trans women are simply ‘dressing up’ as women and that the way one chooses to dress is inherently tied to their gender, I don’t have to worry about that because I’m cis

“Call yourself whatever you like.” = I have very little respect for anyone who feels dysphoric as a result of their given name or pronouns and chooses to change them (possibly more than once) to feel more comfortable in their self identity, it’s ‘whatever you like’, I don’t have to worry about that because I’m cis

“Sleep with any consenting adult who’ll have you.” = I believe gender and sexuality are the same thing and that someone’s self identity is relevant to who they do or don’t feel sexual attraction towards, someone who isn’t cis is less desirable and has to settle for ‘any consenting adult who’ll have them’, I don’t have to worry about that because I’m cis

“Live your best life in peace and security.” = but don’t expect any rights? Just do your best, you’ll have to settle for a substandard life if I get my way but at least it will be your ‘best’, it doesn’t bother me because I’m cis

“But force women out of their jobs for stating that sex is real?” = I have decided to ignore the entire trans community who have never once denied that biological sex is real and I’ve cherry picked and misrepresented this case to suit my transphobic narrative in this tweet

Maya’s contract was not renewed for a number of reasons including her deliberate and continual misgendering of a colleague. Gender Reassignment (which in this case does not refer only to any trans person who has had medical intervention) is a protected characteristic recognised by employment discrimination laws and any tribunal. Maya’s actions were, in the eyes of the protected characteristic discrimination law, the equivalent of calling a person of colour a racial slur repeatedly in the workplace, or using ableist language to degrade a disabled colleague. The judge did the right thing. She was not ‘forced out of her job for stating sex is real’.

Joanne has been radicalised by Trans-Exclusionary Radical Feminists (or gender critical or whatever the fuck you want to call them). She has proven herself time and time again to hold these transphobic beliefs and refuses to even acknowledge the idea that she is hurting an entire, marginalised community with her continual, incessant, bullying commentary. That sort of behaviour has no place in a dignified society and I wish there was a way to remove her platform before she does more damage.

I’m not tagging this, I don’t wish to discuss it as in my view there is nothing to debate. I won’t respond to any further asks and to whoever sent this, I suggest you unfollow my blog immediately.

The Harry Potter community has no space for hatred, trans and non-binary people are exceedingly welcome in this world

[sportsintersections]

16 Awesome Queer Sports Books: Books with LGBTQIA+ Athlete Representation

Image: Daniela Porcelli/Getty Images.

In some ways, the last few years has been a golden time for LGBTQIA+ athletes. The 2019 Women’s World Cup was a record tournament for LGBTQ+ visibility, with at least five players on the U.S. women’s national soccer team being openly queer (Ali Krieger and her now-wife Ashlyn Harris, Megan Rapinoe, A.D. Franch, and Tierna Davidson), as well as coach Jill Ellis, and another player coming out in the moment captured in the photo above, kissing her girlfriend in celebration. Rapinoe’s girlfriend, Sue Bird, another out lesbian athlete who plays in the WNBA, wrote an open letter to the President of the United States. A blockbuster movie told the story of iconic out lesbian tennis star Billie Jean King. Jason Paul Collins came out in 2013 (but retired the following year). Michael Sam was the first openly gay man to be drafted into the NFL in 2014 (but he has since retired).

But, according to the Human Rights Campaign, 70% of LGBTQIA+ people don’t come out to their teammates while still playing a sport, and 82% of athletes have witnessed homophobic and/or transphobic language in their sport. It is still more common, especially for male athletes, to come out after they have already left their sport (TW for homophobic slurs/statements and suicidal ideation), and many athletes who are still playing face backlash (TW for misgendering & general transphobia).

These books, from memoirs by professional queer athletes to YA romances with LGBTQIA+ athlete protagonists, explore these issues and more. 

Books are YA fiction unless otherwise noted.

Spinning, by Tillie Walden (graphic memoir)

This beautiful graphic novel memoir captures Tillie’s experience with figure skating and why she eventually decided to give it up. Full review here.

Girl Crushed, by Katie Heaney

Quinn thought her senior year would be perfect: college scouts recruiting her to her dream school for D1 soccer and her best-friend-turned-girlfriend at her side. But then Jamie dumps her, a month before the school year begins, and it’s getting a little late to have heard back from schools, if she’s going to end up on one of the top teams. Over the course of the school year, Quinn learns that her binary black-and-white, gay-and-straight, success-and-failure ways of seeing her world could stand to be a little more complicated. This book is about identity, self-esteem, friendship, crushes, and soccer. There are also many fun USWNT references! TW for some (challenged) bisexual erasure.

The Reappearing Act: Coming Out on a College Basketball Team Led by Born-Again Christians, by Kate Fagan (adult memoir)

Kate was thrilled to be playing basketball for a nationally-ranked school and to have a close-knit group of teammates. Her best friends were part of Colorado’s Fellowship of Christian Athletes, and she tried to join them and learn about their church, but she started to realize that she might be one of those people whose “sinful lifestyles” they talked about. She had to figure out how to come out without losing her friends, and her team.

Check, Please! Volume 1, by Ngozi Ukazu (graphic novel)

This adorable graphic novel (which was originally published as a popular webcomic) follows Bitty, a former junior figure skating champion and enthusiastic baker, who somehow ended up on the Samwell University hockey team. He’s terrified of checking (what if he gets hurt??), trying to figure out if he can win over the guys with pies, and also feeling some kind of way about the hot but grumpy captain.

Keeper of the Dawn, by Dianna Gunn

Lai wants to become a priestess, like her mother and grandmother were before her, but first she must prove herself in the trials she’s been training for her whole life. Nothing goes according to plan, but she can still depend on herself and her skill as a fighter and a horseback rider and take matters into her own hands. This fantasy novel features an asexual protagonist and a f/f romance.

The Passing Playbook, by Isaac Fitzsimmons (2020/2021 release)

This book hasn’t been released yet, but there are so few (if any) own voices YA sports books with trans characters that I decided to include it anyway. A queer, biracial, trans soccer player is benched, and has to decide whether to fight the ruling, even though that would mean coming out to everyone…including the Christian teammate he’s falling for.

Running with Lions, by Julian Winters

This coming-of-age novel follows Sebastian, a bisexual rising senior who’s excited for his last summer at soccer camp, where his teammates are great and the coach doesn’t expect anyone to stay in the closet. But then Emir Shah, a Muslim British-Pakistani new recruit, shows up. He also happens to be Sebastian’s former best friend, and they left things on pretty bad terms. So why is he finding himself attracted to Emir all of the sudden?

None of the Above, by I.W. Gregorio

I am hesitant to recommend this non-ownvoices intersex representation, but it’s the only book I know of about an intersex teen athlete, and, while it is imperfect and seems geared towards a non-intersex audience, there are certainly some good things to be said about it. It is informative, well-researched, and moving. Kristin, a homecoming queen and champion hurdler with a cute boyfriend, seems to be having a great high school experience. But a doctor’s visit reveals that she’s intersex, and, while she’s still coming to terms with what that might mean for her and her identity, her diagnosis is leaked to the whole school. TW for transphobic/anti-intersex slurs and bullying.

Forward: My Story, Young Readers’ Edition, by Abby Wambach (memoir)

U.S. Women’s National Team soccer star Abby Wambach tells her story with honesty and vulnerability, sharing how she came to lead her team to a World Cup win in 2015. She is open about her sexuality and romantic life (including a named mention of a certain pink-haired teammate, who also happens to be her ex-girlfriend) and how it affected her career.

We Ride Upon Sticks, by Quan Barry (adult fiction, with teen protagonists)

The 1989 Danvers high field hockey team finds themselves winning…a lot. Is it because they all wrote their names in a mysterious notebook with Emilio Estevez on the cover, and pledged themselves to dark forces so they could make the state championships? This darkly funny story explores friendship, sportsmanship, and what means to find power and sense of self as a teen girl.

Beautiful on the Outside, by Adam Rippon (adult non-fiction)

In his comedic memoir, Olympic figure skater Adam Rippon shares his journey from poverty and uncertainty to success and becoming a self-professed American sweetheart. He opens up about anxiety attacks, coming to terms with his sexuality and coming out, and some enjoyable behind-the-scenes gossip. He also narrates the audiobook.

Ana on the Edge, by A.J. Sass (middle-grade, fall 2020 release)

Twelve-year-old Ana-Marie is the reigning U.S. Juvenile figure skating champion, but that doesn’t mean everything feels easy or figured out. When Ana meets Hayden, a transgender boy, at the rink, Hayden mistakes Ana for a boy…and Ana doesn’t bother to correct him. In fact, it feels good to be seen as a boy. Now Ana must decide which identity feels the most right, in time for a big competition coming up. This book isn’t out yet, but it’s due to be released in fall 2020, and it is written by a non-binary (and autistic) author, who is also a figure skater.

Heartstopper, Volume 1, by Alice Oseman (graphic novel)

Charlie is neurotic and openly gay (after he was outed last year and bullied for months), and hoping that Year 10 at the British all-boys grammar school will be better. He meets Nick, an upbeat, sweet rugby player, and they become friends. Soon he finds himself hoping that their friendship turns into something more.

Fearless: Portraits of LGBT Student Athletes, by Jeff Sheng (non-fiction)

This is a memoir of an American artist who uses his story as a closeted high school athlete in the 1990s as a jumping-off-point to depict hundreds of photos of other LGBTQ+ high school and college athletes in the U.S. and Canada between 2003 and 2015.

Amateur, by Thomas McBee (adult memoir/non-fiction)

In this memoir, Thomas McBee describes grappling with the meaning of masculinity, violence, and sports. As a trans man, he has noticed since his transition that the world treats him completely differently and expects different things from him. But what does he want, and how does he want to define masculinity and strength for himself? He decides to train for a charity boxing match at Madison Square Garden as a way to find out.

Dryland, by Sara Jaffe

Julie is a cynical teen in Portland at the height of the grunge movement, struggling to define herself and her sexuality. No one in her family is willing to talk about her older brother, who at one point seemed destined for the Olympics but then fell off the map. Julie has never considered swimming herself, but then the swim team captain convinces her to join. Is this what she’s been looking for -- a way to get closer to her brother and maybe herself?

[All book covers belong to their respective publishers].