#tw heavy

[frogofalltime]

26.02.2024

i woke up at 10am and i was still So Exhausted and felt truly Awful but i forced myself to get up before 11. i ate breakfast and watched a youtube video by @strange-aeons that made me laugh and cheered me up a little. thank you strange we love you <3

then it was midday and i really needed to take a shower. but i couldn't do it and i was just getting increasingly upset. my mother messaged me to say sorry for upsetting me and that made me feel Even Worse. i just felt like i was stuck, like i had to detransition immediately, like i had no choice, like i needed to stop being selfish and hurting her through my own desires, etc

when i finally got in the shower i just ended up overthinking and feeling even worse. i was completely panicking. i didn't know how i could live like this.

alhamdulillah, thank God, i wasn't all alone. i have the best boyfriend in the universe. @etherealspacejelly talked to me and calmed me down. i cried a bit, but in the end i felt like it wasn't all so hopeless anymore. i ate some lunch, and then took a short walk outside, because the sun was out and i needed to clean out my brain. while walking i listened to some very angry emo music which helped somehow. and i also saw a very beautiful pigeon.

(look at her !! an angel !!)

then i had therapy at 4pm, which helped a lot. my therapist said it seems like my gender identity isn't actually the root problem; my mother struggles a lot with her attachment to and understanding of me, so she would probably be upset to see me growing up away from her no matter what that growth looked like. and they also told me i don't have to make any decisions just yet. i don't have to rush into anything that makes me unhappy just to put a temporary bandage over our relationship. so that was really useful to know.

after therapy i was exhausted so i just sat at my desk for half an hour. but a fire alarm started going off in a nearby building and it was making me overwhelmed so i went out to buy some groceries from the store just down the street (i really couldn't handle going to the actual supermarket). i bumped into my friend's boyfriend there, which was kinda awkward because he kept trying to talk to me but i was really not in the mood / didn't have the energy to talk.

when i got home the fire alarm was still going and it was Autism Hell. i put away my shopping and cooked a proper meal for dinner just to drown out the noise. eventually it stopped and i was able to eat in peace.

after eating i washed my dishes, prayed, and went to bed. for some reason someone was setting off fireworks nearby, which were so loud that it really sounded like bombs. i have always hated fireworks, but especially since last october it has felt extremely wrong and terrifying every time i hear them. i couldn't stop thinking about the people whose lives are destroyed by those same sounds every day.

i must have finally gotten to sleep, because i had bad dreams and woke up at 7am to my alarm. i'm still really tired, but i am going to try my best to make it through all my classes today.

[clockwork-arcana]

A reminder, because someone out there needs to hear it.

Other people having it worse doesn't mean you have it good.

My childhood was kinda really sucky in a lot of ways. I wasn't abused, but I was still very isolated for how many people were around me. None of the people who talked to me were friends. I was alone. It fucked me up, and it took a long time to even realize that. I wasn't abused, so therefore my childhood must've been sunshine and roses! I'm fine, right? I'm fine.

It wasn't and I'm not. Pain is pain.

[luminarai]

hey, hi, I was just on the former bird app and came across this info from a brand new study and now I cannot stop screaming internally??? what the actual fuckkkk

theres' an article from the guardian here and here is the actual study:

[modify-and-sever]

if gender is what's in my pants then my gender is YOUR MOM lol anyway yeah I heard you're nonbinary do you have a penis. are you girl agender or boy agender. are you girl nonbinary or boy nonbinary. you have multiple genders but like are you more girl or boy. ok you're neither but are you more boy or girl. no haha I get it like no gender lol but seriously do you have a penis. is it a boy penis or a girl penis. it's honestly really weird that you don't want to answer this question honestly I'm just going to assume you have a dangerous male penis and tell all my friends that you're a bad person

[fexjam]

🍨Sweet Little Treat

[sapphickx]

open heart surgery IS a valid love language

~

[electrozeistyking]

START AGAIN IN STARS AND TIME.

yes

>no

[kostekkk]

Have you ever drawn something about EngieHeavyMedic? (Idk if they have an actual ship name)

There's something about that… ! The second one has blood !

TW: Blood

[glitterclan]

MOON 24 - Newleaf

FIRST PREVIOUS NEXT

[cubbihue]

Hi! this is kinda an art request if u dont mind. And it's angst related, can you draw like where wanda and cosmo obvs have seen for a while how (human) timmy has been treated by his real parents. I just want to see like the "last straw" which lead Cosmo and Wanda wanting them to make Timmy as their own. (IM HAPPY THAT TIMMY HAS A FAMILY THAT LOVES AND CARES FOR HIM)

The "Last Straw"?

Cosmo and Wanda have seen humans at their best. They've seen humans at their worst. They've seen anything and everything that they've gone numb and used to what humans get up to.

But nothing's shaken them quite like Timmy's case did. Nothing has ever made a Fairy feel such strong human emotions than what Timmy made them feel, on that one particular night.

The thing that broke Cosmo and Wanda was Timmy himself.

Bitties Series: [Start] > [Previous] > [Next]

[kahzthesick]

Some of this silly men content for the Valentine’s day‼️

[cocoafloodsthemetro]

So apparently birds pluck out their own feathers when they're rlly stressed, so I got this cursed idea and totally didn't cry while drawing this...

But it's okay I drew a happy ending

[voidshrub]

"Follow me!"

[boimann]

@heavytf2tummy :3

[sapphickx]

looks like it's valentines day in teufort again...

[close-ups under cut]

[electrozeistyking]

Teehee, N'Raged go brrr