#tw diy surgery

[unorganisedalienrubbish]

I don’t know what to do

I feel drunk but I promise I’m sober. I can feel my heartbeat everywhere, in my chest, in my throat,I’m my sinuses, in my eyeballs, I’m dizzy even when I’m sitting. I feel nauseous. My stitches are itchy, my stomach hurts

I just want to relapse. I know it’ll fix this. Please I just want it to stop.

It’s telling me ‘come on, just a little one, you know you’ll like it, it’ll be fun. Your chest won’t feel so tight. I’ll make the dizziness stop. Come on, just cut a little deeper, you’ll be okay then. You’ve healed wounds before, you’re good at it. The stitches are itchy because they’re healing, you did a good job. You can do more. Let’s make these ones neater. Come on it’ll be fun”

[marcobodtlives]

What do we think happens if a Titan shifter gets shot and the bullet lodged inside them isn’t removed before the entry wound heals?

[florenceisfalling]

fun spring break activity ideas:

asking my father to give me some tequila and then stab a hole in my ear with an x-acto knife

[r1ng-w0rm]

I hate being sick >:'={

[nightfallsystem]

tw vent in tags

[citrine-elephant]

brb time-travelling to medieval times to commit witchcraft so that they use the breastripper on me and i get free top surgery :)

way cheaper to time-travel!

[evil-jennifer-hamilton-wb]

I don't mean to imply through the tangent on prosthetics, that Hyeon would install a prosthetic.

She's directly shaping skin and vasculature and nervous tissue to form a flesh and blood tail. She is a doctor in the field of alchemy known for cosmetically reshaping the body. Is it safe to do alchemy on your own body on your own? no. Would she be the type to do that? yes. As a teenager Hyeon nearly died at least twice attempting to do diy transition care through alchemy (2010's Jeju did not [does not] have good transition care availability, and no options for minors), so modifying her own body with chalk and a scalpel is par for the course for her.

I think Hyeon could be a furry. Like if not for her professional reputation and that of her team, she would be doing some diy home surgery to give herself a tail and snout and animal ears.

Furry prosthetics are probably pretty advanced in the Lost Earth world because of alchemy's ability to transmit meaning without complex eeg setups.

I'm unsure what animal she would be tho. I also don't know how furries figure that out. Is it just vibes?

[madrabbitsociety]

08/25/2024 Pinned Note Update

Hello! For anyone looking for fic updates or novel updates, here you go.

I enjoyed being in a play so much I accidentally fell into another one right after the last one closed. I'm currently playing Detective Maggie Pelletier in Red Herring at the Gaithersburg Arts Barn. I know! A femme part! But Maggie is an actor's dream as far as characters go- she's complicated and in love but also holding back for her own reasons. It's a fun espionage/murder mystery/love story set in the fifties. We're also doing this Trompe L'oeil style cotume/set thing so we look like comic book characters... which also means I am not only a lead but also doing costumes. I have been too busy to even return texts at this point because when I'm not at rehearsal, I'm sewing my fingers off.

I will hopefully be posting costume sneak peaks and DIYs to my YouTube shorts so you can see what we end up with.

Anyway, for readers of my fanfic (Man! I Feel Like a Human), I have CHANGED MY USERNAME to be more gender-friendly. Seeing a very gendered name every time I log into AO3 was HARD so I’ve changed it to madrabbitwrites. I will say the last few story chapters I posted didn't seem to get much love so ... I'm not particularly in a rush to finish right now? But M!IFLAH is written and will eventually update when I have more time.

(TW: Illness) So my mom has a benign tumor in her pituitary gland that is causing the whole house to be in stress. Especially since she has other health complications that make me really nervous about her having surgery to remove it. It's been... too much, honestly. Now, more than ever, I also need to plan an escape from this living situation, so if you like my work please consider donating to my Ko-Fi. I'm putting all of my cash towards moving out as soon as I possibly can. As rent in my area is my entire paycheck, I don't know how soon that will be, but I'm doing my best.

My next book, A Deadly Persuasion, will hopefully be out in October or November as well. It’s a redneck bowling alley vampiric and sapphic retelling of Jane Austen’s Persuasion because I don’t have enough elements in that description. It’s turning out to be my favorite work yet, though. Even more than the Santa fucking a vampire book.

Sorry! Like Columbo, one more thing!

I’m working on the sequel to The Aquatic Equation, for real this time, and I think that means deleting The Frightful Fluid Conundrum. I might save the title for a future fic in this series, but if you like this so far, you might want to save it and make room for The Pelagic Solution.

[danse--macabre]

1 + 11 + 31 for ch'lakhou and B and D for u <3

1. What’s the maximum amount of time your character can sit still with nothing to do?

Short answer: Normally? About six hours. As a cultist, though, it was something like six months. Ilmater monk training fucked them up and then Bhaalist monk/assassin training just made them worse.

Long answer, TW eating disorder discussion for this paragraph: While well intentioned, shutting themselves away in an Ilmater monastery to 'kill the serial killer urges' involved sensory deprivation, locking themselves up in a cell, days long 'meditation' sessions without food/sleep/water, etc. in 'service' to the concept of noble suffering. The interesting thing about their transition to Ilmater -> Bhaal is that they pretty much continue with this practice of 'extreme restraint', except it's punctuated with 'gorging' periods where they just go on a killing spree. If this description sounds like disordered eating, then that's intentional. This 'self-discipline' is and was not sustainable, of course. After Orin tried to kill them, their ability to 'restrain themselves' was pretty much 'broken' and would never recover to its previous (unhealthy) ability.

11. How do they cope with confusion (seek clarification, pretend they understand, etc)?

Absolutely pretend they understand, bullshit their way out of the conversation if necessary, giving minimal responses until they ascertain with confidence what is going on. They don't like to look stupid. And one of the most frustrating things about memory loss was how stupid it made them look, constantly. I think this irritated them the more they learned. At first it was just so bewildering, but I think the more context they got, the more it infuriated them.

B) What inspired you to create them?

They evolved as they went, honestly! I think some of the unique twists on their story came from the fact that I'd already played an Astarion romance with Tirazel -- so I wanted something different.

In terms of external inspirations though? I had been listening to a podcast about Knights of the Old Republic, and the (highly christianised) jedi/sith division definitely informed some of the way I characterised them as a monk. I wanted that idea of unhealthy restraint and control to actually be the cause of a 'fall', with Bhaal being the other side of the coin to Ilmater, not its opposite. ultimately, Ch'lakhou has to let go of the concept of 'sin' and 'I have to be punished' to heal, and to come to peace with some of their impulses.

I was also thinking a lot about someone whose gender was just 'monstrosity' and how they might have come to that conclusion and how helpful/harmful envisioning gender in that way might be.

D) Have they always had the same physical appearance, or have you had to edit how they look?

They've changed a fair bit! They had a bit of a hair journey. Early Ch'lakhou just kinda looks like any old gith to me.

I think about six hours in or so I decided they'd given themselves really nasty DIY top surgery, ended up having them chop and change their hair a lot (I had magic mirror access after being on patch 1 for an age) and from there it spiralled.

After Act 1, I pretty much kept the Cat's Cradle monk set on them permanently, and they had a Character Development haircut. I threw on Astarion's hair on a whim and it looked so good that I just kept it.

Additionally, the more I've thought about their relationship with the slayer form their appearance has changed. Silly 'edgy' details like: forked tongue, evil claws, can grow extra teeth, can grow a tail, can grow spikes, etc. etc. Wanted to lean into the idea that they're Bhaal's edgy OC who is just a guy, enjoy the comedy of them just suddenly realising, whoops, let my second set of teeth come through by accident.

I also made a 'redesign' of them as a bhaalist, back when they were trying to mirror orin's look more:

[ladowasnthere]

Random Prompts Combinatios #1:

DIY Projectile Removal + Gotta Stay Quiet To Avoid Discovery + Tight Spaces

Work: Whenever We Are

Characters: Ein and Zwei

CW/TW: Blood, DIY Stitches, Descriptions of injury (specifically crossbow bolt wounds and the removal of said bolt), Needles, Swearing, Guns (small mention)

A/N: I didn't mean for it to be this long, nor for it to take so long, but I have a habit of getting carried away, especially when it comes to these two. This was honestly, like most of my works, one great big ramble, if there's any mistakes, or something I need to add to the CW/TW list, please let me know.

Zwei yanked Ein into the narrow opening, one hand over their mouth while the other was pressed around the crossbow bolt sticking out of their bloodstained torso.

He stood still for a moment, keeping their bodies pressed close as he listened for footsteps in the hall outside. They came and went, a two pairs of shoes heavy and rushed against the cold stone floor of the cave. Once they passed, Zwei turned Ein around, stuffing their tall figure into the corner farthest from the cubby's entrance.

Ein protested of course, their wings and legs bent at what had to be uncomfortable angles as they were forced to lie somewhat flat in the small space. Zwei had barely any space to properly sit beside Ein but he made it work, even if he was forced to hunch over them.

Zwei removed his hand from Ein's mouth and a pained groan fell from their lips the moment he did. Ein bit their bottom lip to avoid making anymore involuntary noises and Zwei busied himself with the immoral's gear.

There was unfortunately no time for gentleness, so Zwei forced himself to ignore the various whimpers and whines of pain that escaped Ein's notice, nor could he slow down when noticed the way their body trembled with discomfort.

This was meant to be easy reconnaissance mission, however, the rookie Ein had been paired with set off an alarm, alerting the enemy of their presence. Ein had managed to get the rookie and a few other soldiers out of the underground base and to safety, but not without taking a couple hits themself.

Since their only other way of escape had left with the rest of the squad on Zwei's order, that left him and Ein with only one option left: Flight.

But then Ein took a crossbow bolt to the torso, and there was no way in hell Zwei could fly both himself and someone injured, winged, and taller than him to a safe distance at a reasonable speed.

This meant Ein had to fly themselves out, which they simply couldn't do with bolt sticking out of their lower ribcage. Which brings the duo here: an extremely cramped hidy-hole where Zwei was preforming emergency surgery.

Zwei had successfully removed Ein's chestplate and unzipped their suit, now his hand was hovered over the dark skin of their torso around the bolt. The bleeding wasn't too bad yet, but Zwei had already fished some gauze and a pre-threaded needle out of his first aid kit. Ein paled when they saw it.

"You're fucking kidding me."

They hissed under their breath, giving the general a hard glare. Zwei fished a lighter from one of his pockets, using it to bend the metal of the needle.

"Gauze isn't going to do shit for something this deep. I'm not killing you over something this small."

Zwei's response was clipped and monotone. The shuffling of clothing was heard and Ein held back a yelp when Zwei suddenly stuffed his gloves into their mouth.

"I apologize in advance."

That was all the warning Ein received before Zwei suddenly yanked the bolt out with a single fluid motion.

Their body tensed, shaking violently as their eyes immediately widened and their jaw clenched around the gloves. Zwei was suddenly grateful for his foresight of putting the gloves in Ein's mouth, else they might’ve bitten their tongue clean off.

Zwei worked a lot faster after that. He was fully hunched over Ein's bare torso, one hand quickly cleaning the area in the best way he could manage while the other brought the needle up. Fortunately, the size of the bolt wasn't that big, it was long and tapered without a proper arrowhead, so the hole itself wasn't very large either.

Zwei pressed the needle into Ein's skin with a practiced steadiness and curved it through as smoothly as possible. He was working off of nothing but the flashlight attached to his chestplate and tried his best to work with Ein's trembling form. When he had fully pulled the line through, he tied it three times before cutting it and moving to re-thread the needle.

When he finished he resumed his position over Ein's body, but paused again upon seeing their fists at their sides. They were clenched so tightly, their nails drew blood from their palm. Zwei furrowed hid brow and wordlessly moved their hands to his (mostly) free arm, he also spared a glance at their face, but quickly refocused on his work upon seeing it.

He would dutifully ignore the tears pooling in the corners of their clouded eyes. Their body was in the present, but Zwei could tell their mind was somewhere farther back. He didn't want to be the reason they had to relieve unpleasant memories. Ein's fingers dug bruises into his arm, but Zwei continued working.

Things were going smoothly until the last stitch. Ein's body had stopped shaking as much, allowing Zwei to work faster. However, right as he began to press the needle through for the final stitch, he heard footsteps approaching their little alcove.

Zwei quickly turned out his light and froze in place. The steps stopped besides the entrance of the space and Zwei cursed internally. Then he heard voices. Two of the patrol men were currently having a conversation outside of their cubby. There was a curtain covering the entrance that blended the opening into its surroundings, but they'd find it if they were looking.

Fuck.

Zwei couldn't stop now, they were almost done. Instead, he leaned in close to Ein, right beside their ear.

"Stay as quiet as possible. Guards outside."

Ein nodded, and Zwei moved back down to their torso. He leaned in closer, trying to see in the now dim light. He pushed the needle into the skin, but unlike the last four stitches, this one didn't go in as easily. Zwei frowned, realizing he'd have to force this one. He breathed, still able to clearly hear the guards outside.

Zwei held the skin with one hand while the other pressed the needle into it. Ein jerked at the sudden pressure, and their fingers (which had been close to relaxed) gripped his arm tightly.

𝘐'𝘮 𝘴𝘰𝘳𝘳𝘺. He spoke to himself internally.

Another jab. Ein's fingers dug deeper.

𝘍𝘰𝘳𝘨𝘪𝘷𝘦 𝘮𝘦.

Another. Their body tensed.

𝘐'𝘭𝘭 𝘮𝘢𝘬𝘦 𝘪𝘵 𝘶𝘱 𝘵𝘰 𝘺𝘰𝘶 𝘭𝘢𝘵𝘦𝘳, 𝘐 𝘱𝘳𝘰𝘮𝘪𝘴𝘦.

Zwei gave one final, insistent dig before the skin gave way.

"Did you hear that?"

A small cry had escaped the muffle of the gloves. They both froze.

"Yeah, don't know where it came from though."

"But it sounded close didn't it? Kinda behind us."

Zwei's free arm pried it's way out of Ein's grip and slowly moved to the handgun on his thigh.

"What? How can you tell all that? I barely even noticed it."

"I could just, like- I could just tell alright? You don't need to sound so judgy."

"I'm not-"

"𝘏𝘦𝘺!"

A third voice, loud and authoritative, ordered the pair of guards back to their stations. Zwei let out a breath he didn't realize he was holding, but he didn't dare move until the sound of footsteps had came and went. Zwei pinched his eyes closed, breathed, then opened them again. He switched the flashlight back on and finished Ein's last stitch.

After being given the clear, Ein slowly maneuvered themselves upright before zipping their suit back up and replacing their body armor. Zwei busied himself with making sure there was no trace of the two of them left in the tight space. Once done, Zwei stood and poked his head out of the opening, looking up and down the hall for any sign of a guard. Finding no one, he turned to Ein.

"Ready?"

Ein met Zwei's gaze, and if they hadn't known each other for as long as they had Zwei might’ve missed the crease in their brow or the way they bit the inside of their cheek.

(His heart ached with their pain, truly it did.)

"Yeah. Let's go."

And they went.

[nosecondivelived]

tw mutilation, i guess? its not that serious

one of these days when im left alone at home i will infact just grab a kitchen knife and diy top surgery. god knows its impossible to get a binder in this country, the heat would make it unbearable anyway. this really is the only way

[minheeskitten]

Vent post. Dont read if you dont want to see the following.

Tw: Dysphoria, Negative self talk. S/h ideation. Asexuality talk, arospec talk, queer struggles. suicidal ideation

Something about being on the asexual specturm.

I have the thoughts. I want to be able to write more of them.

But i always feel i write smut best when horny, you know?

Except i dont get that way often, so my reach massively drops every time i stop posting

I do love writing but the asexuality can make it hell to feel inspired to write smut.

Ive stopped wriring as much because my asexuality hits me like a truck. I dont get as wxcited as i did before.

Purity culture fucked me over so bad i cant even be normal about sexuality. Makes me feel broken for being ace.

My full queer identity is as follows, Transmasc genderfluid. Aroflux, panromantic, lithsexual, demisexual, bisexual.

Being so deeply aroace makes it hard because i feel like i dont fit in, you know?

And being transmasc in a sea of comfortable femme afab readers and writers just makes it hard for me to feel involved wheni wanna write things id absolutely enjoy.

Rhe dysphoria also hits really hard because of being someone who if you saw irl without any knowledge of my identity, youd go 'oh a woman.'

Feeling pretty dysphoric lately and been rhinking about trying to get onto Testosterone.

Most of my moots are afab and use feminine pronouns and im out here like the only transmasc here.

Im worried that people dont interact because they cant relate or cant find me. But if its not relating then how do i fix the issue? Being trans is integral to who i am. And i feel bad because of how little i can post and talk to others.

Honestly i hate being inactive. I loved my followers on my old account but i dont know how to get rhem back, because they followed me for the x reader things that i do not do anymore.

I dont do x reader because it feels wrong weiting for fem readers when im transmasc and incredibly dysphoric some days.

I cant write afab often because it makes me uncomfortable in my skin. Maybe if i get top surgery ill feel better.

Im hoping i can top surgery and be on T. Because im incredibly dysphoric as of late and just dont want to have my tits anymore. I want to be a guy.

I dont want bottom surgery that doesnt make me dysphoric its just my breats being so large.. Double D cups are not fun especially when you're trans.

Sometimes i just want to cut them off and never aee rhem again. But i know that i cant DIY that sort of thing. That would be deadly. And i dont want to abandon all of the friends ive made on here and other places.

I feel like my body was wasted on me, because i cant appreciate it the way it is. Makes me feel incredibly awful about myself. My self image is terrible.

I feel like dying would be better some days yet i dont want to leave any of my friends. They mean so much to me. Anyone who interacts means the world to me.

Rhe idea of death is a concept ive found intriguing for years. But im not sure id be able to commit. But it always starts with a bit of seld harm, doesnt it?

Sorry if this was something sad on your dash today coming from a smut blog. I dont think you were expecting that from me today.

I dont know if ill make rhis sort of vulnerable post again, but i hope that this at least gives you some of my perspective.

If you read this, thank you for taking the time to read this.

I know rhis was a vent post but like. I needed to say it.

[uncanny-tranny]

Bodily autonomy extends to people doing things with their bodies that you, personally, do not like.

One thing I am very tired of seeing is people spreading the idea that certain procedures or bodily adornments should be outlawed simply because they don't think it's "right." For example, I saw a person spreading a person's nose job result around, saying it should be illegal to do this procedure. But we have no idea why this person got it. You can absolutely criticize beauty culture without resorting to spreading peoples' image without consent, or shaming individuals who recieve certain procedures. Additionally, you can encourage individuals to reflect on their choices and why they want certain things, but you cannot expect them to ultimately conform to what you think is best.

We can advance the idea that all bodies are worthy inherently and no matter what, but we ought to continue to do so regardless of if that body has had changes made to it. "Your body, your choice" as an ideology extends to making choices others don't like.

Again: When you don't own your body, you own nothing.

[caiusmajor]

The bit about Lorgar in this post:

Lorgar: Colchis culturally had a third gender usually reserved for people with mystical link to the world. Is also figuring out how to shape shift the plumbing like Magnus.  

Gave me THOUGHTS that I decided would be rude to put in a reblog, so here they are.

Kor Phaeron absolutely also had that gender but nowhere near Lorgar's level of biomancy, at least not when they were young. Cutting for child abuse and DIY gender surgery.

But Kor Phaeron sure did have determination and gall and cutting out their own gonads and dedicating them to the gods as a young teenager was absolutely related to how they got kicked out of both the Covenant and the city of Vharadesh before they were 17 Terran years old.

(The whole doing it themself with knives thing was probably also related to some of the abuse Kor Phaeron went through at the Covenant orphanage, but don’t fucking tell them that either their gender or their faith had anything to do with that.)

Anyway, Kor Phaeron tried to do the same thing for Lorgar later on but turns out Primarch regeneration just. Grows them back. And then Lorgar looks at you for weeks like they’ve done something personally wrong and it is well and good that Lorgar is learning humility but it’s still not easy to watch. So Kor Phaeron declared it a miracle of The Powers The One God and accepted that Lorgar was meant to keep the parts the Powers had sent them with.

Anyway, once Lorgar figures out the biomancy thing, they’re determined to help their father out too, if they can convince Kor Phaeron to accept the help, that is.

[florenceisfalling]

Idk if it helps but I've had my left big toenail fall off 3 times?? I got a surgery once because I kept getting toe infections and now sometimes my toenail falls off and there's a fresh baby one underneath. The doctor says it's okay, it's weird

hwat the fuck are u ok. also ouch. i love the idea of baby toenail directly under it but also thats terrifying what the heck. ok. im glad im not the only one here with toe issues

[kim-irl]

avoiding hw and drawing so yeah i think this is looking pretty good i looked at pictures of brains to know how to draw them. i held a brain once in middle school science class