#tw bulima

[whispytears]

Upgrading time!

(The GIF has no relevance, I thought it was cute).

Hey everyone! I have decided to make some changes to this account in order to bring in more traffic and more people into a non-toxic eating disorder community. I have been so happy with the interaction from the ed community. It is such an invisible disorder until it is not so I truly appreciate all of the invisible warriors (sorry if that sounds corny but it's true!) who support my content in any way. <3

Some changes I would like to emphasize:

There is now an anonymous "ask me" section. Feel free to ask about any recovery advice OR share some personal stories about a topic in the eating disorder community!

I will change the weekly polls to bi-weekly. The weeks in between will be a dedicated space for my followers/invisible warriors to share or ask questions about the ed-community.

Those are all of the changes for now. To keep full transparency I will blaze this post but it will be the last blazed post in a while. I want to reach out to as many people in the community who want to be a part of the good energy and vibes I intend to create on this blog.

<3

~whispy

[imperfection-circumspection]

It's literally so lonely, I've been distant from my friends because I can't bare to see them eat. The smell, look, sound disgusts me at this point.

Any ana girlie's wanna make a groupchat??

[plutox418]

3rd times the charm right…

~peachy🍑

[dreaming-skinny12-blog]

I am so confused I was gone for like 3 years and now people are boycotting purging saying that it’s damaging, YALL we are disordered we are already damaging ourselves 😬 I don’t get it really.

[sillyvoidguy]

Okay so I'm fasting right now and I have a minor concern? I'm not sure if anyone else has dealt with this but advice or reassurance would be nice.

I'm 73.5 hours into my fast, longer than my record by 20 hours, and I don't feel hungry at all? I'm usually struggling badly by 15 hours but I haven't felt hungry since I started? Is this normal or did I do something? I'm really happy don't get me wrong, I plan on fasting as long as I can, but I really don't feel anything at all.

Has anyone else had this happen? Is this normal/okay? I don't want to worry unnecessarily if nothing's wrong but this just feels a bit weird?

[alex-and-ed]

Do I want to?

Do I truly want to rid myself of what’s inside,

Make myself the phantom.

Fragile enough to break

I don’t want to be seen for the dark void that lives inside me.

I want to be seen for what I lack,

And

For my strength

But.

Do I want it enough,

Do I want it enough to let my life go

To die a slow death

To fade away

To become a silhouette

To leave my goals, friends and family behind

No

I don’t

Not Yet

Some poetry I wrote

[velvetboyette]

P

Needless to say, looking up recipes to help with my autoimmune issues is going FANTASTIC and totally NOT making me want to commit arson

[itgirl-diary]

acho incrível o jeito como quando vc põe na sua cabeça que vc quer emagrecer, vc não vai tirar dela até realmente emagrecer! ano passado eubtava pouco me fudendo se eu ia acabar no hospital diagnosticada com anorexia, bulimina, anemia ou seila mais oq, eu só queria emagrecer e isso era a única coisa que eu me importava. Essa é só uma das minhas outras 2 histórias com meus problemas com comida, hoje eu já tô um pouco melhor, não é como se eu conseguisse comer sem sentir culpa, igual uma pessoa saudável faz

[the-sappho-of-lesbos]

How are you? 💕

Hello anon!! Thank you for popping in! How are you? I hope you are having a nice day 😊❤️

I’m definitely in a better headspace lately. Though not by much lolol. There have been a lot of complications with trying to admit me because of my ed at the moment. But I’m having very regular check ups with my doctor and psychologist to try and get the ball in motion. I do hope it happens soon though because I don’t think I can be very strong for much longer ahaha. My physical health seems to be getting a bit worse. I have more intense and constant joint pains lately. I semi fainted the other day so that wasn’t fun ahaha. But I’ve recently discovered visual novels and have been playing them. They are really cute and lots of fun. I’ve also been playing ACNH. Haven’t been reading an awful lot. But that’s more because I don’t have the energy. I can’t get very far before I start falling asleep. My brain doesn’t like to be used right now ahah. I literally feel asleep while reading the other day but didn’t even know I’d fallen asleep till I woke up 2 hours later 😂😂

I really want to write too lately. I just can’t seem to find the motivation or energy to do it. Which is sad. But hopefully that changes. I haven’t cut for about a week now which is good. And I’ve only purged once whooooo. It’s getting pretty cold where I live so I’ve been snuggling up a lot lately. Feeling a bit trapped and stagnated in life. I feel like I’ll never be able to move forward but I hope those feelings pass. I even deleted my dating apps aha. I redownloaded them a couple times but for the most part I’ve been clean. Which has helped a bit. I’m still very anxious and hyperfixated I’m trying to find someone but I’m working on letting that go for now. I’m trying to tell myself I’m allowed to download it again once I get a job. Butttt with this whole covid thing going on that’s certainly not going to happen anytime soon. I’m at the point where I want to feel hopeful for life though. I’m hoping I can move past these feelings of feel as though my life is not my own and I have no choice in the matter of if I’m here or not. That type of thinking was making me resentful. I’m not there yet but maybe I’ll get there. Plus even if I wanted to do something I’m being so heavily monitored at the moment that I can’t really do anything for myself. So I suppose in that regards I really don’t have a choice aha. But all in all I think things are better. Still feeling bad about my sexuality but I’m at the point where I can talk about and comsume gay media now. And when I was getting groceries I saw who I presumed to be a lesbian couple and I didn’t go home and self harm or cry afterwards so honestly that’s a big plus aha.

Thank you for popping in ❤️❤️❤️ I hope you have a wonderful day!! 💗✨

[loud-thoughts-tired-eyes]

i keep changing whether i wanna measure my weight in lbs or kgs depending on how i like the number like an ugw of 50 kg is a good number but so is an ugw of 100lbs and just idk we'll see what's up when i get to 50kg lmao

[whispytears]

Thanks for all the posts! I do have one question though. How do you work towards being in a good place in relationship to food when you are surrounded by people at a school that has really obsessed over diet culture? I try to avoid them, but you can’t fully avoid hearing about it since I go to a small school. Leaving isn’t an option either. Just hearing them exacerbates everything but I only have six months left with them.

Ah, I love this question! Thanks for asking luvs, here is my answer and I hope it is sufficient enough🧡:

✨To be in a good relationship with food while also being surrounded by diet culture, you need to be in a good relationship with yourself and have a solid definition of your relationship with food. And->trusting and listening to yourself. What may this all mean? ✨You know what foods you can or can't have, like or don't like, etc. So whenever you find yourself questioning diet culture ad/phrase/conversation, ask yourself: ❓Does this apply to me and my lifestyle whatsoever? 🚫Most likely, it doesn't. Because 1. no one person has the same food preferences and requirements as the other, and 2. MOST of diet culture leans towards thinspo, which is very harmful‼️‼️ ✨Having a "solid definition" of your relationship with food also comes back to you knowing what you will and won't eat. Don't make exceptions because of the diet culture surrounding you, telling you that you're wrong in what you're currently eating. ✨Trust and listen to yourself in the way that your meal plans/custom diet/meals are good enough for you. This also may mean constantly reassuring yourself that what you're eating is ok and that you'll be ok (this is something I still do when certain things in diet culture trigger me).

🌸Hopefully this helps. With this, I've been able to ignore or feel superior to diet culture and its nonsense. Seeing a nutritionist has also made me feel more sane since most nutritionists hate diet culture.

~whispy

[imperfection-circumspection]

When you finally realise that you're at the point of being so alone that no one actually cares about you

[starving-for-youu]

y’all ever just look at old pictures of yourself when you were thinner and wish you could go back? that’s literally depressing as fuck.

[dreaming-skinny12-blog]

I’m not gonna lie….. edtwt is too nice 👩🏾‍🦯

[anaexprinc3ss]

something i’ve noticed as i spend more time on tik tok is that girls with the hippie aesthetic are almost always emaciated because they eat “all natural” when really i think they’re all anorexics hiding their ED behind a positive clean eating hippie movement. idk thoughts 

[twistsdiary]

I’m anxious, I wish I could’ve changed how everything went, I would’ve shut my mouth sooner. I couldn’t help myself my words were coming off like rapid fire and I’m not sure how to explain to you that it wasn’t me it was the drugs. I’m not sure it’ll really make a difference to you, I’m assuming you won’t care for me much either way. I wish I could talk to you but you didn’t pick up the first time I called so why would you pick up now?