#tw brief fatphobia

[wuffgang-ameowdeus-moozart]

STEVE LOOKS AT HIS BIG EMPTY HOUSE AND THINKS FUCK IT, Part 1

Eating fast food every day sounds good at first. His parents normally don't allow him to eat pizza - we don't want you to become fat, Stephen, what would the people think? - but when he finally breaks the double digits and they deem him old enough to stay home alone, the freezer is filled with frozen pizza. "You know how to get takeout, right?" his mother asks, and then they are gone.

Steve doesn't mention that he needs to get on his tippy-toes to reach the tall table with the phone and nods. And then he is alone.

Tommy Hagan says that he loves it when his parents aren't home. His brother wants to be left alone, and so he is sent upstairs and can watch as much tv as he wants, even the horror movies he isn't allowed to yet. Sometimes, when his brother invites friends over, he can even sneak a bit of alcohol. He loudly proclaims that alcohol is cool and fun and awesome, but one time, when Steve and Tommy are alone, he whispers that beer actually tastes really bad and that it makes him sleepy and sometimes it gives him a tummy ache.

And at first Tommy is right. He can watch as much TV as he wants, even the scary movies his mom hates. (But at night, when he dreams of monsters and demons and blood, there is nobody there to reassure him that it isn't real). He can eat whatever he wants whenever he wants. (One night he puts all the pizza in the oven and plays a game against himself: eat as many slices as possible. The next day the teacher sends him home with a bellyache and as soon as he gets there he runs to the bathroom and throws up until there is nothing left. He can't even look at pizza after that without feeling nauseous)

After that disaster he changes over to takeout.

(The table with the phone is so incredibly tall and every time he reaches for it there is a split second when his heart stops and he is sure that the phone will fall on the floor and break in a hundred pieces and he won't be able to hear it when his parents finally decide to call (they haven't had time yet, his father is a very busy man) and they will find out and they will hate him forever. But he always manages to catch it, so it is fine.)

Hawkins is a small town and Steve's options are limited. His parents left him three pamphlets from different restaurants he can call. The first is Italian. (Steve remembers heaving on the toilet and throws that one away). The second is a Diner. His stomach is already growling and reading has never come easy to him, so he calls without even looking at the third one.

By the time his parents return, he knows the number of the diner by heart and is already on first-name basis with most of the staff. His favorite is Daisy, she always asks him how he is doing and sometimes she sneaks in sweets he didn't order.

It is a relief when his mother starts cooking again. He never really appreciated her craft until he had to go without. He has vague memories of refusing to eat his vegetables when he was small, but the feeling of eating something not greasy is so good he even takes seconds. His parents smile and he feels his heart fluttering in his chest. "See, he is already growing up", his father says, and Steve beams.

He wants to help in the kitchen, but his parents don't allow it. ("Only women belong in the kitchen", his father thunders. "You're just making a mess! For gods sake Steven, leave me alone! Aren't you too old to keep running after your mummy?!", his mother complains.)

Steve isn't sure when exactly he decided that he didn't care. Maybe it was when he went to Carol's house and realized how empty his fridge is in comparison to hers. Maybe it was when he started exchanging his readymade supermarket sweets for other people's lunches at school, so he could eat at least something that wasn't prepackaged while his parents weren't in the house. Maybe it was when Daisy suddenly stopped going on the phone when he called the diner and the new worker (he doesn't know her name) got really annoyed with him when he wanted to talk about his day. (He is scared that he is the reason the she is gone, that all the secret sweets and fries she would add to his order got her fired. But he doesn't know how to contact her, or even her last name, so he can never find out for sure)

All he knows is one day he looks at the kitchen ("men don't belong in the kitchen" "I have everything organized Stephen, don't you dare enter the kitchen just because you want to play around") and knows he can't do frozen or canned meals anymore. Thinks "frick it, it's not like they are here anyway". Then he remembers that if no one can stop him from going into the kitchen, no one can stop him from cursing either, and spends the next ten minutes screaming "FUCK"

Steve goes to the living room and searches the huge bookshelf with narrowed eyes. (He once asked his father why they had so many books if neither he nor his parents like to read. He answered that he should stop asking stupid questions.) He chooses to see it as a good sign when he finds a cook book in the lowest shelf. The bookshelf is even taller than the telephone table, and if it was in the highest shelf he wouldn't be able to reach it even if he stood on a chair.

People stare. A tiny boy dragging around a huge book and an even bigger bag. (He'd never gone to the supermarket before. When his parents leave they always leave him with enough food to last until their return, and when they are home food always seems to magically appear in the kitchen - or he assumes it is in the kitchen, he isn't allowed in there when mother is home. He thought grown-ups just magically knew what they needed to buy, but he took one look at the ingredients list and knew he would never be able to remember everything. When he sees a woman taking a shopping list out of her bag, his tiny mind is blown.) When he can't reach a shelf he stretches and glares until an adult notices and takes pity on him. They offer to help him with the book or with the bag but he refuses. Father says he already is a big boy, and big boys don't need help. It doesn't count when people just do it without asking. He would've been able to reach the flour all by himself if no one had interrupted him. Probably.

His first attempts in the kitchen are disastrous to say the least, and his respect for his mother only grows. He learns what fancy words like "dredging" or "marinate" mean and that you need to preheat the oven before you use it. One time his neighbors even called the firefighters. He was terrified when he heard the sirens nearing his house - was sure that his parents found out what he was doing, that he would go to prison and never walk free again. He didn't mention that part when he told Tommy and Carol about it later. And if he exaggerated the fire a bit, nobody needs to know.

(The firefighter asked where his parents were. He said they were on a business trip. Another one asked when they would be back. He answered in a week. The first said he should call his parents, and Steve explained that they didn't like to be bothered. The second one frowned, and Steve asked if he was in trouble but he assured him that he wasn't. The first one said he should call them anyway, that they would want to know this, and so he did.

His father answers the third time he calls. He sounds annoyed - Steve can see his angry frown in his mind - and he quickly explains that he didn't want to call him, he promises, but the firefighter said he should.

"What happened?", his father asks, still annoyed.

And Steve hesitates. His teacher says that lying is wrong, but when he was honest and told his mother he wishes they were home more often she said that he should stop being so selfish, that it's not a good look, that it's ugly. His father never told him that lying is wrong, so he doesn't say that he accidentally charred another chicken (the book said that if it is even a little bit raw it can make you sick and being sick isn't fun when you don't have anyone to take care of you) and forgot to turn off the oven. He knows his parents don't want him in the kitchen. They will probably feel like they should come home early, and of course they won't because father's work is important, but they will feel bad while they are gone and Steve doesn't want his parents to feel bad. So he starts talking about his day, hoping to be able to come up with something by the time he gets to the part where the fire happens. Luckily his father doesn't have time to listen to his ramblings and hangs up before that.)

The next day Steve goes to the supermarket (this time with a list, like a real grown-up) and tries again (this time taking extra care to turn off the oven). He still messes up but it's okay, he's got a lot of time to learn.

Months pass and he finally feels confident enough to cook something for his parents. He prepares everything before they arrive so they can't stop him from going into the kitchen. They don't say anything, but they also don't complain so Steve sees it as a win.

(their next business trip is the first time they delay their return. "I'm so sorry Stephen, but you understand that this is very important, right?", his mother says on the phone. "I know you can take good care of yourself, the dinner you made for us was so good! I promise we will try to return as soon as possible, okay?" Steve nods, and remembers too late that she can't see him. It doesn't matter anyway, she already hang up)

--

After everything is over and they are somehow still alive, Joyce invites everyone over to a We All Survived An Attack By Monsters From Another Dimension/Will Byers Is Back/The Weird Supergirl Needs Friends/Isn't The Sheer Amount Of NDAs We Needed To Sign Literally Insane - Dinner. Steve feels a bit like an outsider - which is ridiculous since his literal girlfriend is also a part of this weird little group (or at least he hopes she still considers him her significant other). But he has nothing better to do and he doesn't want to worry Nancy, so he compromises with himself that he will bring food as a sort of apology.

(he isn't sure what he is apologizing for)

He arrives early to help set up the table, and Joyce places his dish right in the center.

The first one to taste it is Hopper. He takes a piece of the Lasagna and Steve stops breathing as he chews. Hopper's eyes widen. He makes a sound that would not be out of place in a bedroom. The kids stare at him in varying degrees of disgust.

"Holy fuck Joyce, I think I just had an orgasm. I would literally sell my fucking kidney for this lasagna."

The kids look as if Hopper had stripped down and started pole dancing on the table. Steve can't help the small smile forcing itself on his face.

"Oh no", Joyce says, "it's Steve who brought the lasagna". Steve grows red. The entire rest of the table stares at him as if he was the one who can move things with his fucking mind and okay maybe he isn't over everything like he thought he was. At least supergirl also seems to enjoy his lasagna ("holy fuck, orgasm", she says when she tastes it. "Watch your fucking language, kid", Hopper answers)

--

He doesn't know how they found out about his birthday, but when he opens his door there is a gaggle of kids with a box in their hands and stars in their eyes. Steve accepts the present and has to laugh. He doesn't take his new "I survived a Demogorgon and all I got was this apron" off for the whole day.

Unexpected hobby #1: cooking

[glossysoap]

Besides tue point that covid has left many people literally disabled and unable to maintain a regime needed to loose weight. And there are so many diseases that keep you from exercising. Including mental health. Bes8des the point that everybody should be allowed to exist in their body regardless. I for example have hashimoto and even with my doc knowing it took ages to realise that the hormone I need is produces but I can't absorb it. Hence pretty much uncontrolled weight gain even though on paper I live on a kalorien deficit for years now. So no it's not sinple or black and white and I am struggling to see anything loveable in myself. And the fics do help on that front

tw fatphobia

at first i thought this was the fatphobic anon but after reading it, it’s clearly not. ily anon. i kinda used this as an open letter to the fatphobic anon that i recently reblogged so just know that none of this is aimed at you, anon.

see exactly. there’s so many factors to weight loss and what contributes to that, that it’s not just a black and white situation.

i love the point you made about covid because that’s so true!! not only can you become disabled as a result of it, and gyms and such also became inaccessible due to close proximity to others. and the symptoms of long covid are no joke! those disabilities that some ppl have gained from covid never went away, that goes for lung and heart conditions that they gained as a result.

and don’t even get me started on PCOS and hashimoto’s. i’m like 99% sure i have either of those, maybe both, whatever. and the way that no diet works truly drives me insane.

and if you know me, you know fatphobia is personal because i’m obviously fat but i’ve also had a record number of fatphobic comments sent my way this year, and many of it by an ex friend no less.

i’ve heard that fat people shouldn’t hike, don’t go to gyms, just stay in your house. oh, but i thought we were lazy? i thought we should work out? i thought we should be at the gym?

i’ve heard that fat people shouldn’t wear work out clothes or anything like that. anything remotely tight. i’ve heard people say “well just lose weight” when fat people bring up reasonable criticisms over the lack of sizing in any clothing.

bitch, do you just want us to be naked? do you want us to wear a plastic bag? and what if a fat person is actually working towards losing weight, what then? do they not deserve to wear clothes while they do it? and even if they’re not working towards losing weight, what the fuck do you want fat people to wear? nothing? i’m so serious.

god forbid something is catered to fat people. god forbid you skinny people feel a bit excluded because someone mentions stretch marks (which skinny people have too actually!) or a fat ass or plush hips. literally go cry me a river. everything is catered to you in the world, literally everything. you are the model standard. you are the mannequin in all the stores. you are the sizes that every store carries.

you’ll be just fine if a fic isn’t catered to you.

and you’ll be just fine if someone’s fat. it doesn’t affect you in any way. no, no matter what you say, it doesn’t. you’re not “concerned for their health” because then you’d be going around yapping in any skinny person’s ear that vapes or drinks alcohol or energy drinks or does drugs. oh but you’re not, are you?

you’ll be fine. the world will keep spinning if a fic isn’t catered to you. you’ll be fine if people are fat.

the world will keep spinning.

also, military men love fat ppl 👍

[pink-enby-in-distress]

so amazing news!! found out the reason for my extreme fatigue might just be bc of obstructive sleep apnea!! which means: all (or most) of my fatigue problems *might* be solved by a simple tonsil n adenoid surgery!! the problem is,, i have to see an ear nose n throat specialist first n yk when the soonest appointment for that is?? March!!!!!!:,,,,,,,) yk when we fuckin requested one?? oct-nov. n now that ik that there's this thing out there that could finally,, finally help n i don't have to live like this anymore,, i am going insane-

i am literally crying like every night. im so lucky that this (might) solve my problems n that the date is so soon!! n yet,, im devastated still,, bc yk what i have before march?? finals week. sats. my fuckin birthday!! my anniversary!! n who knows how long it'll take to actually schedule the surgery after we see the fuckin specialist in the first place. are they gonna say i have to lose weight again?? bc that's gonna take a lotta time,, n we all know they hate fat ppl bc i am apparently obese (despite the ppl that know me the most n the closest know that im recovering from an ed n think i need to eat *more* n i look fine bc im an average ass black girl)?? n they make sure to tell me every waking moment. every moment they make sure to tell me!! youre fucking obese n you're probably either gonna have to lose weight before this surgery or stay in the hospital longer after it.

there is this one hope!! that i could change something shitty that I've dealt with my entire life,, one thing that could actually help me get a scholarship n pursue a career n have a job n make enough money at a job to not have to live w my abusive ableist mom in college,, and every delay is eating me alive.

[cheeseburgersinparadise]

Why is death feederism ok? It is objectively self harm, as one is doing something that will result in them hurting themselves and eventually dying (as fetishized). I just can’t understand it… I am someone in this space that likes being stuffed and full, and doesn’t mind a little biy of wg… but I just don’t understand why gaining until death is encouraged so much when it’s so extreme and life ruining.

Like if there was a feeder and feedee couple that were into it… what would happen if the feeder had issues and couldn’t help the feedee that is reliant on their feeder? What happens if they break up and the feedee is dependent enough where they need family or something to help?? I mean it’s just… they could literally die if they were so dependent and forced to live on their own.. encouraging people to ruin their lives because it makes their private part excited is encouraging self harm.

This is my opinion and I seriously want to know what you have to say… I brought this up to someone else and their response was to block me and say “I think death feeding women think more critically about the fetish🤔” without response. And just so you know this isn’t fatphobic, i never once said I find fat people gross or anything, I just find the idea of fetishizing self harm gross. It’s fetishizing being disabled and or dead.

TW for death feedism, kink talk, self harm/suicide

so general disclaimer - I am not a death feedist and so I don’t know that I’m a good representative to speak on this topic but I’ll share some brief thoughts.

I think it’s okay to look at extreme fetishes and feel uncomfortable with them, so I’m not going to try and tell you that you can’t feel the way you do. I was very critical of people who practiced this fetish in ways I personally didn’t like and this community helped me realize it’s not my business to do that. There is no moral superiority in kink.

The thing is though - in order to be sex positive and an ally to our fellow feedists (yes, even the ones we disagree with or don’t like how they practice the fetish) we have to respect their bodily autonomy and allow them to make whatever decisions they think is best for them. It’s not our job nor our place to tell folks what they can and can’t do.

I would maybe agree that it’s a slippery slope and in a very extreme case, you could argue that this line of thinking would allow us to excuse a suicide fetish, for example (unsure if that’s a real thing). But there ARE disability fetishes and a fetish isn’t inherently bad as long as there are informed consenting parties and you are practicing RACK.

I don’t know if that line of thinking is even worth arguing because it could only serve to slip the other way up the slope back to overt purity culture. I want to validate your thoughts and questions because its important to critically analyze things and i want to believe you are coming from a place of good faith (and I have it in me to try and discuss this).

Regarding the statement of “death feedists think more critically about the fetish” could be true, as realizing you’re a death feedist DOES require reflection and understanding of yourself and of fatphobia in general. I haven’t had at length discussions with folks about this but the death feedists on my dash that post about fat lib seem to know their shit.

At the end of the day, why death feedists enjoy that aspect of the fetish is not for me to debate with or without them present. It’s not for me to tell them what they can and can’t do with their bodies. That aspect of the fetish isn’t for me, but that doesn’t mean I have the right to tell others what they should get off to. I also think death feedists are a smaller portion of the community and it’s easy to block the tags they use if you don’t want to see their content. I know a few death feedists and I like them (at least their online persona) and they are probably more equipped to discuss this if they want to. So please feel free to add some comments if you’d like, death feedist friends.

My advice is practice radical acceptance. It feels uncomfortable but I think ultimately it makes you a better person when dealing with things you think are weird or gross or bad.

[roxanneslosteyes]

So this is a follow up to my first post about this theory of nightmares counterparts being linked to the neighbours in some way. These are my two coins of this theory with what I think what they could mean but with rest of neighbours

If you want to see part 1 ----> PART 1

Spoilers for tnmn nightmare mode!

TW: Brief mentions of misogyny, fatphobia and racism

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Arnold: His nightmare counterpart is a cultist, I think this comes from demonstration because he is a black man. Racist white people villainize Arnold because he is a black man and he is a writer trying to make it big/already made it big and the racists didn't like that at all so they villainize the poor man.

Alf: He is a lawyer, we don't know what type of lawyer he is. Whatever lawyer he is, he mostly likely played dirty in court so the judge takes the person he is the lawyer for side instead of people who accused the person. Hinting of his nightmare counterpart being a soul scarecrow. He scared the people who accused his clients and leaving them with no justice. This might happened in his youth when he was starting out to be a lawyer and didn't want to be seen as a failure or he always been like this.

Raftellyn: Her nightmare counterpart causes disforms faces, I think she has low self esteem of her appearance due to the beauty standard of the 1950s and misogyny against aging women/old women. I think when she was young, she was beauty young lady but when she got older, she felt like she is "passed her prime". Seeing herself as a object than a human due to misogynistic men commenting about her aging appearance.

Margarette: She was mostly bullied for a weight by fatphobic people, Making very cruel "jokes" about her weight. So her nightmare counterpart's "job" embodies the cruel treatment she got. Also Margarette's nightmare counterpart has Mudusa's snake hair, I don't know if that's just a design choice or it plays a part in Margarette's story in a way. (If it does play a part in her story, it does depends what type myth of Mudusa its playing into. I leave that up to the fandom)

Dr.W.Afton: His nightmare counterpart is just a Springtrap reference but I'm going off what he does in nightmare mode like what I did with Steven, Albertsky, Mclooy, Raftellyn and Alf since their nightmare counterparts are just references to characters (Albertsky's,Alf, Mclooy, Raftellyn nightmare counterparts being a reference to a character) or a person (Steven's nightmare counterpart being a reference to a band member irl). Dr.W.Afton's Springtrapsona goes out to collect skin. Maybe Dr. Afton is dealing with the guilt of him playing a part of the doppels wrath against humanity and endangering his future wife in a way. He is trying to find right "skin" to confess to Mia but hasn't found it yet.

[cult-of-the-gundead]

I Am Your Knight

Finn fails to discover his prosthetic’s additional features when he’s locked in the ziggurat. This leads him down a dark, painful path, on which he is changed forever.

Brief Trigger Warnings

Brain Damage

Ableism + References to ABA (Gumbald is a VERY bad person)

Mental Health Issues (Including Internalized Victim Blaming, Self Blame for events out of one's control, Self Loathing, and spiraling)

Major Character Death (FINN, FERN AND JAKE DO NOT DIE)

Torture

Forced Labor

Fatphobia

Brainwashing and Manipulation

Abuse

Blood and Gore

Self Harm

Irreversible Alternations (Both mental and physical)

AO3 Link

just felt like drawing a cover for this... it's an au fanfic i'm working on based off the Only Finn AU by @/its-just-fern and the Blue Knight spinoff AU by @/newtexcwl

please heed the tws if you want to read it, though. it is a VERY dark fic. but it DOES have a happy ending despite all the stuff in it.

[iamanartichoke]

Don't mind me, I'm just gonna re-post some of my old fic, bc I've recently been skimming some of it and yesterday I actually gave this particular fic the time and attention-span to re-read it carefully and, yknow what, this is some good fucking fic. If I do say so myself. Sooo ... yeah.

Edit: I wasn't ready to post this yet but it posted as soon as I inserted the link, so. Brief summary - Endgame!Thor seeks out Loki's body in order to give him a funeral, and is shocked by what he finds.

TW: suicidal ideation, suicidal thoughts, self-harm, depression, alcoholism, death, internalized fatphobia, questionable jotun biology, thor crying a lot, the author is seeking validation.

[trauma-culture-is]

tw tags masterlist

if it’s implied, i tag #implied [x], for a brief mention, i tag #[x] mention, if the ask goes into more detail or is about something i tag it #[x] cw. some older posts might have #[x] tw instead

the bullet points are "parent tags" of the indented ones below them- that is, any posts that have an indented tag will also have the "parent tag". this will be useful for blocking an entire subject without filtering a dozen tags, or if something falls under a broad category (i.e. discrimination) but is hard to tag in more specific ways

abuse

emotional abuse domestic abuse sexual abuse / sa (i tag both variations) manipulation gaslighting neglect medical neglect

trauma response (tagged after feb 14 2023)

flashback panic attack (tagged after feb 14 2023) ptsd attack

bullying

drowning

violence

assault

stalking

injury

eye injury

sa

sexual assault rape cocsa (child-on-child sexual abuse/assault)

abandonment

death

death threats murder animal death suicide suicidal ideation sui bait

addiction

drug

alcohol

religion

cult

unhealthy coping mechanism (tagged after feb 14 2023)

invalidation self blame repression self harm / sh desensitization

discrimination (tagged after feb 14 2023)

ableism transphobia fatphobia homophobia

dysphoria

medical trauma

psychiatric trauma

unreality

paranoia (may not be thoroughly tagged)

swearing (this one is not thoroughly tagged)

caps (tagged as “#caps”, may not be thoroughly tagged)

[filth-burps-writing]

⚠️not sexy. If you are in a headspace where you can’t handle serious content scroll away and enjoy your orgasm TW eating disorder and fatphobia⚠️

Fat phobia and diet culture are so pervasive and horrid that people genuinely can’t understand that being fat is good for some people. That some people would want to be fat. That a person could be healthier as a fat person. It genuinely can’t understand that someone’s personal ideal might not be thinness.

Okay so I’m a certified fat person. I’m five six and tend to be around the swoon-worthy number 250 pounds. I had a disastrous attempt at weight loss through calorie counting two years ago. Then I tried regular intuitive eating and still felt exactly the same. Like I was dieting. The only part of trying to be fit and healthy I actually enjoyed was the muscle. The only part of weight loss I enjoyed was what I gained.

Then I had a brief period of eating whatever I wanted. Then AFRID and nausea tagged teamed to make miserable with the special guest star grief last August. The only way eating that ever made me happy was trying to gain weight on purpose. The only “diet” that ever made me feel how eating healthy is supposed to make you feel was eating everything I wanted. I didn’t hate my body because I was fat, I hated my body because I’m transgender and I was desperately trying to be a “good girl”. I love seeing my belly stretch out and get bigger not just because I’m a horny freak ( I am a horny freak but I’m also a guy who wants to take care of his mental health) but because it means I’m safe and happy.

I am not allowed to be sad I lost weight because of an eating disorder. I am not allowed to be happy when I gain weight. I am not allowed to talk about how eating more fat has helped my digestion. If I say I genuinely want to gain weight as a fat person I would end up outing my kinks. Because of course my feeding kink the only reason I wouldn’t want to loose weight. Definitely not the fact that I have a history of disordered eating. Definitely not that being fatter makes my body shape more androgynous. Definitely not that I have way energy and I’m in a better mood when I eat ice cream for breakfast and fried chicken every night than when I was eating fruit.

I don’t get to be happy. Because to be happy I have to be fat.

I love being fat. I love having a big belly. I want to be fatter. I wish my belly was bigger.

I have taken a long time to get here and it might have to be removed from my page if hurts me like a weight loss goal hurts me but I have a weight gain goal. 310 pounds. This is both muscle and fat but I am definitely interested in getting bigger.

[rebellum]

Tw below the cut for mentions of diet, weightloss, and fatphobia. Just a diary type post.

For years I've told myself to NOT concentrate on my weight because I went through a brief obsessive period about it when I was like 13 because I was worried I was too skinny, and as an adult I was worried the opposite would happen and I'd be obsessive over being """overweight""". And now it's happening but I don't KNOW if it's actually happening. I don't know how to look up if my behaviour is pathological/unhealthy or if it's fine. I'm trying to not count calories, and instead focusing on just replacing my unhealthy foods (eg cereal, bread, sugary foods) with healthier alternatives like more vegetables, but I definitely HAVE been eating less. And, it's like, yeah that doesn't work long term, but it doesn't NEED to work long term, I just need to shed this weight that I gained over the past couple of years from bad diet and then can eat normally again, I'm not one of those people that constantly gains weight, just one of those people who will go through periods of poor eating and gain weight through that. But both my mum and my boyfriend have been telling me to eat more.

And that's not even GETTING INTO the psychological distress caused by me realizing I'm fatphobic when I thought I had unlearned all of that.

[plumpstuck]

here you guys go <3 hope this lets you guys get a better picture of what I'm more inclined to roleplay

Alright— let me elaborate...

(TW, there's a brief fatphobia mention, and also some discussion of unhealthy dynamics used in fiction that might be discomforting for some)

I LOVE force feeding and fat bondage and fat bulging out of tight places and rough and mean feeders (I would however like to also mention that I think that mean and dominating feedees are also underrated). Stuffing, breaking out of clothes, popping buttons, all that sort of thing is just heavenly~ <3

A lot of these jars speak for themselves but I'll go further in detail for the ones that I think need it:

I like burping, eructo is a high one on my list, but eprocto is more tricky and conditional for me. I think it's alright in more extreme slobby or dumb scenarios because it sort of fits there, but otherwise I feel like it sort of messes the mood for me when it's done in other situations. long story short, not my thing but i think burps are 😳😳😳

squashing is something that i didnt really understand the meaning of? wrestling isn't something I'm too interested in, but I do really like... like getting crushed under the weight of someone else and also just like being pinned by your own weight... AUGH thats beautiful

i dont really care for inflation or clothes padding. LIQUID BLOATING ON THE OTHER HAND... that shit's incredible. being full of soda or other beverage is just adorable

public stuff is also way too hot for me to ignore.

fat shaming <33 teasing, all stuff on that note... it's just so good I love it. real life fat shaming and fatphobia is stupid... horny fat shaming on the other hand? 🤤

preg also isnt my thing. vore is weird because most of the time i dont care too much about it, but sometimes...? it just hits different. i think that monster vore is pretty neat but if it's just 2 regular human people then it makes a bit less sense to me. i am kind of obsessed with nagas though and i think that they are allowed to eat humans if they so please <3

oh my GOD male tits <3. me when they fit into a bra hjkHGKFDSJKL.

funnel feeding !!! okay so i LOVE funnel feeding when its with like soda or milkshakes or melted icecream or other drinks, but I don't like it if it's just like blended food. there's some exceptions (like if it makes sense to be blended, like ice cream and chocolate and brownies and other food items like that, ones that sort of belong in a milk shake if that makes sense) but i dont like just like. Savoury dinner food blended. that definitely isnt my thing

dumb/bimbo for me is nice, but what really gets me is other psychological kinky factors. i like conditioning/pavlov sort of kinky logic: the thought of someone associating food with sex and vice versa or getting addicted to someone from associations with positive treatment? that stuff REALLY gets me. mind break and other things... captivity... lord those are some fantasies that i am more than happy to dwell on

i really like feeders that are like saccharine-levels of sweet and doting and caring that take care of all of their feedees needs before they can even lift a finger

on the other hand i ALSO really like feeders that are really cruel and mean and rough and YEAH.

basically just attention, good or bad. possessiveness and singling someone out with their attention. it gets me feeling a certain kind of way <3

note!! i definitely don't care if you're into some things here that I'm not, just because I'm not into something doesn't mean I hold any hatred for it. Just means that's probably not something I'm going to write for <3 please dont harass me for a difference in tastes, that's not something I can nor want to control

[cavityinmybrain]

i’d also like to weigh in as another system in ED recovery

tw for weight talk (including numbers), fatphobia (internalized and external), brief mentions of abuse/bullying, and discussions of ED in detail. please be careful because this gets graphic.

we had a mix of anorexia and bulimia as a young child, combined with losing meals as punishment and our mother and abuela pushing diet culture onto us really heavily. thin was not just a thing our body was, it was a trait assigned to us by everyone around us.

“you’re so tall and thin, like a supermodel. you should be a model!” “you’re so thin, like a twig.” “i was thin like you when i was your age, then i grew up and got fat. dont get fat like me.”

those were all sentiments i grew up having told to me repeatedly. thin was something people knew us for, it was a part of my personality to be thin. looking at old pictures of myself i can see just how visibly underweight i was my entire childhood, but no one dared consider it unhealthy because i was thin like i always was.

i remember the most i weighed as a child was 120lbs in middle school, which was 20lbs more than i’d been for most of my life. i told a friend very excitedly, that same friend said “i just imagined you 20lb heavier ew lol” and i immediately stopped eating.

when i got out of my abusive environment, one of the first things i started working on was ED recovery. i wanted to hit a healthier weight, so i started by slowly growing my portion sizes. my weight slowly climbed, and now i am at my healthiest weight ever. 160lb. starting testosterone definitely helped with the weight gain, being in an environment where i wasnt punished in relation to food helped. my girlfriend helped a lot, i give her a lot of credit for widening my food horizons and making me feel safe to try new things.

the weight gain almost instantly started kickstarting parts of my body developing that hadnt developed during puberty. my chest got way bigger, my thighs and butt too. i didnt have enough calories in my daily intake for those to grow like they shouldve in puberty, and now i had excess.

i am not fat by any means, at least i dont think i am. i have severe body dysmorphia, i cant recognize what my body actually looks like. i look at pictures from when i was in active eating disorder depths, ones i thought made me look “fat”, and i see skin on bones. this taints my view of my body further, how do i know i wont gain more weight and look back on now and see a twig?

its hard. i avoid the mirror most days. i avoid tight clothes. i have stretch marks everywhere now. i think the worst part of it is looking at my body and recognizing my mothers body, my grandmothers body. the bodies they said looked disgusting in front of me as a child.

some of us in system identify closer with the body now, like oakley. other parts of us feel worse about it, some parts want us to relapse to lose weight again. its a struggle. i’ve been in eating disorder recovery for over a year now and every step i take forward feels like climbing a mountain, but i’ve never been happier to do it.

I'd like to briefly talk about a kind of dysphoria rarely talked about outside of eating disorder circles. So content warning, food and diet and weight discussion ahead.

We grew up very unhealthy skinny due to abuse and neglect and food related trauma. Because of that, our internal view of ourselves was as this tiny little girl. We were anorexic - not nervosa, just VERY minimal appetite - and a picky eater with texture and taste sensitivities due to autism and, again, trauma. We have and have long had really bad emetophobia due, yet again, to trauma. We had body image issues related to people we knew who were at a healthy weight being jealous of how skinny we were, which made us feel guilty and even worse about food.

Then as an adult we started working in healthcare as a nurse's aide and med tech, which are very physically demanding jobs and everywhere we worked was horribly understaffed so we rarely had time to sit and most often did not get breaks. We joked a lot about having a nurse's bladder because when you're chronically too busy to pee you get to where you can wait forever to go. There for awhile we were consistently walking 20,000 - 30,000 steps a day - more like 40,000 if we were forced to work a double shift (16 hours). And rarely eating a full lunch/dinner/both because of time constraints and being in too much pain and too tired to eat.

As a result, we remained underweight by a lot. We were doing our best just to maintain our weight at 90-95 pounds - drinking protein shakes and meal replacement shakes and snacking as much as we could.

We viewed ourselves, internally, as being this stick thin, no curves girl, even though despite all that we did have curves.

Then we left the healthcare field for a sedentary job, got put on an antidepressant that actually gave us an appetite for the first time in forever, and worked through a lot of our trauma.

And over two years we doubled in weight. At first as we gained we were really glad to finally hit the triple digits. Then it became a concern, as we can't push ourselves to walk as much as we used to when working healthcare. We just can't do it anymore without severe pain. Heck, we couldn't do it then without severe pain, but we pushed through because we needed money.

We don't recognize ourselves in the mirror anymore. We want to lose weight, but working out is difficult, and having to actually watch what we eat for the first time in our life has been a difficult adjustment.

It's not just the mirror. We can't move the way we used to. Sitting cross-legged when you're fat is harder than when you're thin. Crossing our arms or holding one hand in the other physically reminds us that we have an actual chest now, which is especially hard on Varyn as that creates gender dysphoria for him.

And it just feels weird trying to adjust our mental picture of what we look like now against what we looked like the rest of our life. It feels wrong to look at ourselves and see us so much bigger than we used to. Old clothes don't fit. And we can't wear long sleeves as much as we used to because now we overheat so easily now (partly due to weight and partly due to medications) when we used to be cold all the time.

We don't wanna go back to being unhealthy skinny. But we don't want to be the weight we are now. And while we've been able to lose some, it's slow going and difficult.

I feel like, due to some of our health issues, we probably need to see a physical therapist and a personal trainer in order to figure out how much we can safely exercise, but who can afford that in this economy?

So for now, we're stuck with a body that clashes badly with our internal view of what we should look like and feel like and be able to do. And that's a kind of dysphoria that we feel needs to be talked about and recognized more outside of eating disorder circles. Cuz it sucks. But we know we're not alone in this.

[foreveranevilregal]

How about its Felixs birthday and everything is perfect except one thing because the shop owner as Pepas ex has a grudge against her but as we know Pepa is a bad ass so she scares him into getting her way and Felix as love sick as ever thinks its the best birthday ever

Here you go! Hope this is what you wanted! It’s kind of long, so I hope that’s okay!

I don't necessarily agree with Pepa's methods here, but they were effective.

It was the morning of Félix’s birthday. November 11th. The date used to mean nothing to Pepa, used to be just another day in November, but ever since she met Félix, the sun shone a little more brightly on November 11th.

She had been running around preparing for tonight’s party for two weeks. The list of things that needed to be done was no longer as daunting, thanks to her siblings and mother pitching in to help. One by one, they’d managed to get almost everything they needed to give Félix an amazing party.

Juicy steaks from the butcher, promising Pepa the best cuts of meat in exchange for favorable weather on his wife’s birthday. An assortment of baked goods from the baker: pillowy, freshly baked bread, cookies, and the pièce de resistance- an enormous tres leches cake, absolutely soaked in sweet milk, thick dulce de leche oozing down the sides.

Of course, Julieta had offered to do the baking herself, but Pepa immediately waved away the suggestion as ridiculous. Julieta was expecting a second child, and she hadn’t slowed down one bit. But her poor sister was so swollen by this point that she looked like she was constantly toting around a watermelon. She seemed ready to pop at any moment. Obviously, there was no way Pepa would ask her to stand on her feet just to prepare food for her husband.

Succulent steak, fresh crusty bread, indulgent desserts…Pepa checked the items off her list. The rest of them were pitching in to get the rest of the food ready. Although Julieta was relegated to bedrest, she wasn’t fully out of commission; instructing the others on how to prepare all of Félix’s favorite dishes. Pepa had tried to help out in the kitchen, but she’d ended up even more hopeless than Agustín when it came to cooking. Turns out, even her rain wasn’t enough to rescue the charred remains of her culinary attempts.

So, she decided to leave the cooking to the far more capable hands of her mother and brother and instead work on the decorations. She’d gotten some lovely flowers from the florist and was arranging them into bunches to place around the table. They were all so colorful, with bright glistening petals. Pepa placed one of every color into each bunch. Félix gave her rainbows every day; it was only fair she returned the favor.

“I help?” Isabela had toddled over, grabbing at the flowers Pepa was holding. Much to Pepa’s surprise, Isabela’s touch was delicate. She didn’t even damage the petals. She looked at Pepa expectantly with her big brown eyes.

Pepa chuckled. “Sure, Isa. Come here.” She patted the ground next to where she was sitting and separated out some flowers for Isabela to play with. “You want to help me decorate for your tío’s party tonight?”

“Uh huh.” Isabela’s brow furrowed as she focused on matching her arrangement to the ones Pepa had been working on, choosing just the right flowers. “Like this?” She held up an arrangement almost identical to the ones Pepa had been making.

“Yes, Isabela, just like that!” Pepa took the bunch, stunned. She added the few flowers Isabela had been missing and set the finished bunch aside. Isabela really had a knack for this. She could actually help Pepa out. Deciding there wasn’t any harm, she pushed the rest of the flowers closer to Isabela. “Can you help me finish making the flower arrangements?”

Isabela nodded solemnly, reaching out to pick up some more flowers in her chubby little hands. “Pretty flowers,” she commented, turning over the flowers in her hands. A few of the petals got crushed, but Pepa held her tongue. She didn’t want Isa growing up criticized over every little thing the way she had been.

“They’re very pretty, right?” Pepa smiled, glancing at Isa over her own bundle of flowers. Her precious sobrina concentrated on picking out just the right flowers. “Which one is your favorite?”

Isabela frowned, pausing to think. Her tiny tongue poked out of her mouth. “All of them!” she exclaimed, beaming.

Pepa laughed. “They are all pretty, aren’t they?” she agreed. Isabela seemed to really enjoy the flowers. Maybe she could convince Julieta to let Isa join her in the fields come springtime.

Thanks to her adorable little helper, the flower arrangements were done sooner than she anticipated. Food, flowers… Pepa ran through the list in her mind. The musicians were coming tonight. All that was left to do was… A leaden feeling sank in her stomach. Decorations. She’d left the decorations last, hoping to delay the inevitable misery, but the moment had arrived. Closing her eyes, she let out a frustrated groan.

“Tía okay?” Isabela reached out a hand towards her cheek, concerned. That child was as perceptive as her mother.

Pepa nodded, swallowing and affixing a smile to her face. “Yeah, Isa, I-“ Fortunately she was saved from having to come up with an excuse by Agustín, who was holding a very sleepy Dolores in his arms. “I’m just sad that you need to go take your nap because I had so much fun with you.” It wasn’t exactly a lie; she did genuinely enjoy working on the flower arrangements with Isa.

“No nap!” Isabela insisted stubbornly. “Not tired.” But her yawn betrayed her.

“Are you two girls done with the flowers?” Agustín bounced Dolores in his arms.

She valiantly fought sleep, but little fists rubbed her sleepy eyes. Succumbing to her tiredness, she snuggled into her tío’s chest.

“We are.” Pepa stood up and held up a flower arrangement. “What do you think?”

“I think they’re beautiful!” He cooed, crouching down to Isabela. “But not as beautiful as mi flor pequeñita.” His free arm made its way down to tickle her side, causing her to erupt in giggles.

He had really taken to being a girl dad. Pepa hoped their second child would be another girl. “Are you ready to join your prima?” Pepa addressed Isabela, who was clinging to her hand, unwilling to go to her father because it would mean ending their fun.

Isabela struggled with the decision, her eyes darting between her and Dolores. As much as she loved her tía, she loved Lola more. “Okay,” she acquiesced. Letting go of Pepa’s hand, she reached up towards her father.

“Come on, Isa.” Agustín scooped her up with surprising strength, balancing her in his other arm. “You need to rest so you can stay awake at your tío’s party tonight.”

“Party?” Her eyes gleamed excitedly.

“That’s right,” Agustín affirmed. “But you need to sleep now so you can stay awake later.”

Her mouth opened to fight him, but tiredness overtook her and instead she joined Dolores in snuggling onto his chest.

“Thank you,” Pepa mouthed towards him as he took the girls away for naptime.

 Now she was left by herself to contend with the decorations. She wanted to get streamers and sparklers for tonight, maybe even some fireworks if she was lucky, but unfortunately, she and Osvaldo had been on a few bad dates many years ago, and he still hadn’t gotten over how things had ended. There was no way he’d want to do anything nice for her, especially not if it was meant for her husband.

And that really rubbed Pepa the wrong way, because Osvaldo holding a grudge against her was one thing (look, it wasn’t her fault she didn’t want to date a bad kisser, okay?) but taking it out on Félix, the nicest most agreeable man in the whole encanto (no she wasn’t biased) was taking it too far.

What she needed was a way to get the decorations from Osvaldo without bringing up any drama. Her unexpected solution appeared in the form of a disheveled Bruno stumbling out of the kitchen towards her. His hair appeared to be smoking.

“Did you get kicked out of the kitchen too?” Pepa snorted.

Bruno wiped a smudge off his face. Pepa didn’t even want to know what it was. “Still made it longer than you, hermana.”

Pepa rolled her eyes. When would they stop bringing up how bad she was in the kitchen? Cooking wasn’t her thing. They all knew that by now. Get over it. But focus, Pepa; you need him. “Yes, Bruno; you’re a better cook than I am,” she gritted out. The words tasted bad, but she needed to butter him up.

He looked at her strangely. “You feeling okay?”

She sighed. “I need your help, Bruno.”

“With what?”

“Remember how I put off getting the decorations for Félix’s party until the last minute?”

“Yes…?”

“There’s a reason for that. Guess who’s selling the decorations now?”

Bruno scratched his head. “I don’t know. I don’t even remember what I had to eat this morning and you’re asking me to remember who’s selling something we don’t use every day.”

Pepa resisted the urge to snap at him. “Osvaldo Ortiz,” she answered, as calmly as she could.

Bruno shrugged. “So? Osvaldo’s a nice guy.”

Pepa glared at him. “Not to me. We went on a few dates ages ago and he still hasn’t gotten over it.”

“Ah.” Bruno nodded knowledgeably. “He’s one of the ones you dumped for a stupid reason.”

“I didn’t dump him for a stupid reason,” Pepa defended herself, outraged.

“Why did you dump him?”

“Because he was a bad kisser.”

“Which isn’t stupid at all.” Sarcasm dripped from Bruno’s words.

“It wasn’t his fault. I was his first kiss, and he needed someone to teach him how to do it right.” Pepa crossed her arms. “That person wasn’t going to be me. I didn’t have to deal with that.”

“Naturally.”

Pepa huffed. “Are you going to help me or are you just going to stand here and make fun of my dating preferences?”

“Okay, okay.” Bruno held up his arms in defeat. “What do you want, me to go get the decorations for you?”

Pepa shook her head. “No, I won’t give him the satisfaction of thinking he got to me. Because he didn’t.”

“Clearly,” Bruno muttered under his breath.

Pepa kept going, pretending not to have heard him. “I just want you to come with me to diffuse the tension.”

“That’s all?” He narrowed his eyes at her suspiciously.

“That’s all,” she promised.

“You’re going to owe me.”

“I figured I would. But please, this is for Félix. It’s not for me. Think about that. He’s your favorite cuñado.”

“You’re so lucky Agustín is upstairs and didn’t hear you say that.”

“I don’t hear you denying it.” She stared him down.

He tried to return the stare but crumbled. “Fine, but I’m not talking unless I have to.”

“That’s just fine, hermanito.” If she was lucky, just his presence would be enough to make Osvaldo reconsider being rude to her.

They walked over to the market together. Pepa filled Bruno in on what she wanted for Félix’s party.

“Streamers, sparklers, and fireworks?” Bruno let out a low whistle. “That’s a lot, especially considering Osvaldo hates you apparently.”

“He doesn’t hate me,” Pepa corrected him, hurt. “He’s just…” She paused to find the right words.

“Not over you; got it, Pepa.” Was he rolling his eyes at her? Brothers…

“Focus, Bruno; we’re doing this for Félix. This is about him, not me,” she insisted.

“Of course it is, Pepa.” Bruno sighed, exasperated. “Fine. Not like I can help in any other way anyway.”

“You don’t have to talk, just be there for moral support,” Pepa reminded him.

“I thought I was there to diffuse the tension.”

Pepa rubbed her temples. Really he was there as insurance that Osvaldo would give her the decorations, but she wasn’t about to tell Bruno that. “Right. That.”

“Are you going to lie and tell him I had a terrible vision about him so he gives you what you want?”

She shot him a scathing look. “Of course not, Bruno; don’t be ridiculous.”

He still appeared wary. “Okay. I hate it when you do that.”

“Don’t worry, Bruno.” She patted his shoulder. “Ah, here he is.” They’d reached Osvaldo’s stand.

Bruno gulped, seeming to regret his decision. “Okay. I’m going to go be not here.” He then immediately ran away.

“So much for support,” she hissed out after him, seeing him disappear into the winding rows of stands. “Hola, Osvaldo,” she greeted the man, infusing unfelt friendliness into her voice.

“Pepa.” He didn’t feel it necessary to do the same. “What are you doing here?”

“Well, today is Félix’s birthday…” She tucked a fallen strand of hair behind her ear nervously, noticing the man’s attention waning. Bad start, Pepa.

“Is that so?” He asked, disinterested. He had gone around the back of the stand, arranging a bundle of pinwheels in its box.

“Yes, I, uh, was wondering if you had any deco…” Her voice trailed off mid-word as he turned to look at her again. Smooth, Pepa. Of course he has decorations, they’re right in front of you. Gathering up her confidence, she finished her thought, “I wanted to get some decorations for his party tonight.”

Osvaldo grunted, not showing any trace of interest in the matter. “And you thought I would help you? Sell you decorations to celebrate your husband’s birthday? At a party I’m not invited to?”

Pepa let out a disbelieving noise. “I didn’t think you’d want to come! Not after… I thought I was doing you a favor!”

“A favor! Like how you did me a favor by dumping me during lunch break in front of everyone?” His ears grew red.

“Are you going to sell me decorations or not?” Pepa demanded, getting frustrated. The nerve of that man! When was he going to get over it?

He sighed. “Yes, Pepa, I will.” He pulled out the most pitiful pinwheels, their edges curling and drooped, as well as some faded banners. “Here you go.”

“Seriously?” She raised her eyebrow, unimpressed. “That’s the best you can do?”

“For you, Pepa, yes. Take it or leave it.”

“It’s a good thing I didn’t invite you to the party!” she retorted. A devious thought sprang up in her mind. Taking a moment to collect herself, she continued, “Bruno’s going to be there, you know, and he’s had some nasty visions lately. He looked shaken up the last few times he had one. I think he mentioned your name, too…” She let the implication hang in the air. “Oh, there he is now! Bruno!” She waved him down.

Bruno wandered over, holding a half-eaten arepa. “Did you get the decorations, Pepa?” He asked, munching on his snack casually.

“Not yet.” She tapped her foot impatiently, glowering at Osvaldo.

Wanting to diffuse the tension, Bruno spoke up. “Oh, hey, Osvaldo. Nice stand.”

“Thanks, hombre.”

An awkward silence permeated the air. Pepa’s storm clouds weren’t helping matters either.

“Is there any way you can give my sister the decorations so we can leave?” He asked bluntly.

Osvaldo shrugged. “Sorry, Bruno. She’s being a pain.”

Pepa opened her mouth to protest, but Bruno covered it with his hands, pushing her back. “You know how she gets.” He chuckled apologetically.

Pepa clenched her fists, seething. How dare he? He was supposed to be on her side!

“Maybe you can sell them to me instead,” Bruno suggested, shooting her a look to shut up. “I’m not being a pain.”

Osvaldo shook his head. “They’d still be for Félix, so no can do. Besides, I wasn’t even invited to the party. Why would I want to help?”

“That’s too bad, it’s gonna be a great party.” Bruno finished off the arepa, licking the crumbs off his fingers. “These arepas are really good. I’m going to go get some more,” he announced to Pepa and Osvaldo, who were now having a staring match.

“Oh, I love them!” Osvaldo exclaimed. “I get them every day, they’re so good.”

“Every day, huh?” Bruno sized him up and down. “Careful there, buddy. Those pants won’t keep stretching forever.”

Osvaldo frowned, looking down at his pants. “What do you mean?”

But Bruno had already walked away in search of more arepas. “I could bring you some, but you should probably go easy on them,” he called back.

Osvaldo looked at Pepa searchingly. “Was that…?”

Suddenly, Pepa snapped her fingers as if realizing something. “That must have been the vision he had! You’re going to get fat!” She patted his stomach affectionately. “How embarrassing. It would be a shame if everyone in town found out that’s what your future holds.” She fixed him with a determined look.

Osvaldo closed his eyes, defeated. “Tell me which decorations you want.”

She paused, pretending to think. “I’m not sure how much money I have with me.”

He waved off her comment hurriedly. “Just promise not to tell anyone and I’ll give you whatever decorations you want, free of charge.”

“Whatever decorations I want?” Her eyes sparkled with possibility.

That night, the Madrigals were enjoying the party. Everything had gone according to plan. The table was laden with all sorts of delicious foods, including the cake, which was almost gone. Music was booming thanks to the band playing that evening- all lively tunes, just like Félix liked. Thanks to Pepa’s ingenuity, their casita had been decked out in the most lavish decorations: banners, lights, streamers, even some things Pepa hadn’t thought of that Osvaldo had thrown in after being properly motivated.

But the best part was the fireworks. They exploded in the night sky; a brilliant display of colors splashed across the darkness.

Pepa watched them, leaning on Félix’s shoulder as they sat and ate their cake. “Do you like it, mi sol?”

“Like it?” He asked incredulously, bringing another forkful of cake to his mouth. “I love it! How did you get fireworks? I thought they were sold out.”

She pooh-poohed the question. “Nonsense, mi amor. Whatever mi esposo wants for his birthday, he gets.”

He gazed at her adoringly. Even though they’d been married a few years now, the lovestruck expression never faded from his face. “Thank you, mi vida.” He gave her a sticky kiss on the lips. “This is truly the best birthday ever.”

Seeing the pure unadulterated joy on his face, Pepa had to agree.

[nocturne-overtures]

Tiger Lily (C.SC, K. MG)

✦ Paring: (Chubby/Plus Sized) Female Reader x Choi Seungcheol x Kim Mingyu

✦ Genre: Humor, Smut, Romance, Very Small Hint of Angst

✦ AU: Established Poly Relationship (MMF), Erotic Model Reader, Photographer + Model Seungcheol & Mingyu, Non-Idol

✦ Rating: Explicit (18+)

WC: 5.5k+

Tw: Swearing, Brief Instances of Fatphobia,

Sw: Sexual Photos/Videos, Praise Kink, Lingerie, Semi-Public, Unprotected Sex, Creampie, Body Worship, Thigh Grinding, Hair Pulling, Nipple Play (Reader has pierced nipples), Exhibitionism (if you squint), Multiple Orgasms, Hint of Switch Mingyu and Reader, Light Spanking, Blowjobs, Fingering, Threesome, Handjobs, Teasing, Dirty Talk, Hints of Choking Kink

©nocturne-overtures 2022. do not repost, translate, or use my works.

✦A/N: The following is a paid commission for my Dazzberry @atiny-dazzlinglight​ thank you so much for supporting me and being so paitient as I worked this out! Also big shoutout to Gaia for helping me pin down a scenerio I wanted to go with love you too aa

✦Also, If you have filled out my taglist before and have since changed urls, I ask that you make sure to refill out my form if you haven’t already! I think I’m losing people in the sauce sometimes because of url changes or blog moving and after and it’s a bit easier for me if you refill out the form if you’d like to be tagged still. Thank you!

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Network Pings; @kdiarynet​ | @kwritersworld​ | @k-vanity​ |

“Hey, you got a package today.”

You look up from your spot near your mirror, glancing at the box in Seungcheol’s hands. You squint, trying to wrack your brain on what you’d ordered recently.

Bathroom curtains? No, that was custom ordered, it wouldn't be in the country for a long time...Shoes? No...you got them two days ago. New lens for Seungcheol's camera? No, that was on back order-

The moment it clicked for you, you come over to him, grabbing the box excitedly and plopping onto the bed. Seungcheol peeked curiously, watching as you open the box with a pair of scissors, pulling out plastic bags with multi-colored articles of clothing inside.

"I ordered from Caratland a bit ago and it finally came!"

Seungcheol takes a seat beside you, curiously looking at the bags. He didn't open any of them, instead waiting for you to do it first, since it was your order, anyway.

The moment you do, his lips part, eyes widening as you pull out a see-through white crop top. It was knotted in the front, a blue plaid pattern adorning the collar, knot, and the end of the sleeves. You pull out the skirt that came with it, excited as you feel the soft material between your fingers.

You feel Seungcheol’s eyes on you and look up, smiling at the telltale blush on his cheeks.

"I bought some lingerie…I wanted a small self-confidence booster, so a friend suggested I buy some clothes. The website makes clothes in my size too so I didn’t have to settle.” your voice is excited as you explain, taking more outfits out. Seungcheol watched you more than the clothes on the bed, smiling softly at how excited you were.

“Gyu should be out of the shower soon. Do you want to show him as well?” He inquired, rubbing your thigh gently. You smile and nod, taking out more clothes and laying them across the bed so the outfits could be seen clearly.

By the time Mingyu came out of the shower, a towel tied low around his waist, all of your clothes had been laid out on your bed.

“What’s going on?”

“I bought some lingerie.”

Mingyu’s brows go up in interest, coming over to the bed, kneeling as you begin pointing at each lingerie, tilting your cheek up to accept a kiss from Gyu before you did so.

“I showed Cheol this one but it’s got this mini skirt look I’ve always wanted to try. I haven’t actually tried any of these on yet because I wanted to wait for you, but I’m sure my ass will be out.”

Mingyu perked at the notion, but didn’t say anything until he pointed at one of several black outfits.

“What's this one?”

“Oh, this is a succubus one, look!” The men listened as you showed off each one, exchanging kisses and the occasional dirty comment here and there. You feel pride bubble in your chest as you try some of the outfits on, grateful for the website’s plus sizes actually being accurate and fitting you just right.

By the time you’re done, Mingyu looks like he’s hatching a plan in his head, tapping his chin as he glanced between some of the outfits. You wrap your arms around his shoulders, pressing against his back as you tilt your head.

“What? Don’t like these?”

“No, these are my favorite, actually. I was wondering if we could do a shoot with you in them.”

Seungcheol nearly chokes on the water he was drinking while you feel butterflies flutter in your chest at the notion.

“In these? You’d want to?”

“You look fantastic in them. I’m thinking about a few props that could look good with some of these and I bet it would be a fantastic shoot.”

You send him a teasing look, poking his cheek.

“You just want to see me posed in the lingerie. Joshua said he would kill us if he caught us fucking in the studio again, y’know?”

“He and Jeonghan are away for a wedding photo shoot on Jeju. They won’t be back this week.” Seungcheol helpfully informed you. You blink and look at him before looking at the desk calendar at your bedside table.

Sure enough, ‘Josh is out, keep the studio clean’ was sprawled across this week’s days, starting today. You can't help but to notice the small 'Don't fuck in the studio' sprawled in small handwriting beside it. It was clear who wrote what.

You feel yourself smile, hugging Mingyu tighter as you set your head above his.

“What are we waiting for?”

-xoxo-

“You are a work of art, you know that?”

Goosebumps rise on your skin, your eyes closed and your head tilted up towards the sound of Seungcheol’s voice. Fingers ghost over your shoulders before you feel your breasts being cupped from behind and kneaded gently.

“Stay still, that’s perfect.”

You feel his lips on your throat, kissing above your pulse as Mingyu takes pictures.

There are a pair of pointed fantasy ears adhered to your own, painted to match your skin tone. It almost makes you giggle as you feel them brush against Seungcheol’s head before he grabs your jaw, thumb against your chin, and tilts your head, his free hand reaching between your legs to rub your clit.

“Y/N, look this way, baby.”

You follow Mingyu’s direction, opening your eyes and looking in his direction, your breath hitching as you feel Seungcheol’s fingers rubbing in small circles. You’d all decided to go with a succubus look for this shoot, with Seungcheol sitting you in his lap to do your makeup beforehand, stealing small kisses from you.

Mingyu had dressed you, picking one of the more latex-looking lingerie you’d bought, one that hugged your stomach, not in a way to hide your body shape, but to accent it. Your love handles were out, a spiked garter high up on your thigh holding up a pair of intentionally ripped fishnets. The body suit was formfitting, your nipple piercings leaving flower-shaped imprints on the top.

“Baby, are you spacing out?”

You realize your gaze had drifted to the floor as your mind wandered, looking at Mingyu with the smolder he probably had been looking for. He smiled, snapping a few pictures from different angles before nodding at Seungcheol.

You miss the contact he had with you as he moved away from your body, but he wasn’t gone for long, coming back with lubed fingers and once more kneeling behind you on the couch you’d been posing on. He once more grabbed your chin, this time tilting your face towards his, smiling as he hovered over your lips, pushing his middle finger into you slowly.

A gasp leaves your lips, and you almost miss the quick ‘that’s good ’ from Mingyu followed by camera clicks as you slowly take in Seungcheol’s features.

Staring into his eyes, you feel your mind wander ever so slightly.

It took a while before you could convince him to come from behind the camera to join in on shoots with you and Mingyu.

-xoxo-

You yourself were an erotic model, and you’d be lying if you said it was easy to get where you were now. You’d seen it all, photographers refusing to take you because they didn’t like the shape of your body, photographers clearly showing more…problematic views on models with larger body types…but you remained unshaken.

You know your worth. Big and beautiful and if some asshole wouldn’t add you to their portfolio, that was their loss.

You’d actually met Seungcheol at one of those turned-down shoots, back when he was studying the technique of some asshole who made you sit in your robes in the corner of the room for nearly three hours waiting to be photographed. All while he very clearly focused on the girls who’d stumbled in late as hell, spilled Starbucks on some of the props, and made one of the makeup artists cry.

Seungcheol approached you, then, offered you a bottle of cold water while a camera dangled around his neck.

“If it’s alright…I’d like to do a shoot with you. It’s becoming more obvious this guy doesn’t have any respect for his models or his craft but I’d like to keep you from wasting any more time here waiting on him.”

It was kind, and you finished half of your bottle before you nodded, moving out of the way of the other crew members and actually taking your pictures up on the roof. There were fairy lights adorning the outdoor set and you felt pride in your chest at the audible gasp Seungcheol let out as you dropped your robe for the first time.

Your shoot was nothing short of professional the first time. The next dozen, as well, once you’d taken your talents to Joshua’s studio thanks to Seungcheol’s word.

It was when Mingyu came in that things got more interesting.

Both a model and photographer, Mingyu was the first person you’d ever posed with.

It was a BDSM shoot, all latex and leather, collars and leashes, and hands-on intimacy that made your heart flutter. Again, things were professional at first, even after you found out Mingyu was dating Seungcheol, you three kept things in the studio focused and on task, creating varied shoots that did well for you all and the studio itself.

To the surprise of both of you, it was Mingyu who had asked you out on a date, smiling as Seungcheol nearly dropped his camera somewhere behind him.

You blink in surprise, looking at Seungcheol before looking at Mingyu.

“A date? Like a platonic one?”

“I mean…it could be platonic if you want it to be, I meant more romantic….did Hyung not tell you he liked you?”

You feel the distant sound of a windows shutdown noise play in your head as Seungcheol, mortified, pushes Mingyu out of the door, eyes wide and face flushed.

“D-Don’t w-worry about it, we're leaving early, I can't believe you, Gyu!"

You hear Mingyu getting scolded all the way down the hall and smile to yourself.

The next time, a month later, it's you to ask, laughing at the shocked look on both of their faces.

"You didn't let me respond, yknow." You teased as both of them became ecstatic.

Who knew that one date, three years ago, would start this beautiful relationship you all have now-

"Baby, if you keep spacing out, I may have to change tactics."

You blink back into focus again as Seungcheol slides a second finger into you, slowly pushing it in and out as he closed the gap between you, kissing you.

It was slow, with Seungcheol claiming every corner of your mouth as his other hand groped and kneaded your breast, fingers curling around the piercing.

"Cheol- " you gasp his name, clenching around his fingers as he works them faster in and out of you. Your hand drifts down between his legs, squeezing his cock and smiling as he let out his own gasp, tucking his face into your neck as you stroke him through the pants he's wearing.

You don't hear the sound of the camera clicking anymore, but before you have the chance to inspect why, Mingyu approached, kissing the nape of Seungcheol’s neck before he pulled his pants down.  

Seungcheol’s cock is hot and heavy in your hand as you stroke him, smiling up at him through your lashes. His breath hitches as Mingyu quickly darts back behind the camera.

You hear him praising you both, but you only focus on Seungcheol’s expression. His jaw is tight as he tried to keep his face in check, but you can see he wants to break.

Hold you by the back of your neck, purr praise, and close his eyes as he lets his cock slide in and out of your mouth.

Technically he could do that and still not ruin the shots, in your opinion, but Seungcheol liked to keep himself in check while you three had your photoshoots.

Part of you is waiting for him to realize this is just for the three of you and just a shameless excuse for you to show off your new clothes to them and possibly ruin another studio couch by fooling around but you'd let him continue to hold back.

For now.

He really was so handsome when he was concentrating.

You wrap your lips around his cock, slowly bobbing your head as you stroke him at the base, smiling to yourself at the shudder you feel running through his body.

"Perk your ass up, Y/n. Good girl, just like that."

You hope Mingyu’s getting some good POV shots with all of his instructions, but you've already checked out, wanting more out of Seungcheol.

You let your hips sway, fondling his balls as you look into his eyes once more.

Seungcheol was big on that, the eye contact.

It had to grow on you a bit, but the intimacy definitely spiked the more you looked into his eyes, taking in every gasp, groan breathless chuckle.

Seungcheol’s fingers twitch ever so slightly as he watched you and you idly wish you'd used a lower quality lipstick so it would smudge as you blew him.

Finding out Seungcheol and Mingyu enjoyed lipstick blowjobs and the mess was a very interesting anniversary surprise.

Maybe next time.

For now, you close your eyes, feeling his fingers kneading the back of your neck as you bob your head. You can’t help the moan that left your throat as he worked out the tension from your neck.

Your hips move on their own, swaying as you spread your knees apart, pressing your tongue along the thick underside vein of his cock.  

You're not sure how long it takes from the beginning of the shoot for Seungcheol to lose his patience, but it becomes apparent when he pulls himself from your throat, picking you up easily and setting you in his lap for a kiss.

You smile, grabbing him by the collar, keeping him close as you shifted about, straddling his thigh. Seungcheol noticed and let out a muffled chuckle, lifting his thigh so you could grind down onto it.

Your fingers find their way into his hair, pulling lightly as you moan, rolling your hips and moaning as you feel your clit rub against him through your bodysuit.

You faintly catch movement out of the corner of your eye until suddenly your kiss is being interrupted by Mingyu moving behind you, cupping your jaw and tilting your neck up to kiss you. Seungcheol took the distraction as the opportunity to move your body suit in a way for your breasts to be out for him. He took a moment to admire the tiger lily piercings adorning your nipples. It was a gift for you from Mingyu on your second anniversary and truth be told, it was one of his favorite piercings you liked to wear.

As you kiss Mingyu and rut against Seungcheol’s thigh, you feel Cheol’s fingers pinch and roll one of your nipples while his lips wrap against the other.

You moan sweetly, arching up more and hugging his head closer to your chest as Mingyu ran his hands all over your body.

“What about the..mm…the photoshoot?” You tease, nipping Mingyu’s lip. He let out a smile, looking into your eyes for a moment before sending you a wink.

“I switched it to the video mode. I’ll just go back and take stills for the edits later.” He explained.

Seungcheol chuckled.

“In other words, he got impatient.”

“Both of my partners are feeling each other up right in front of me, looking absolutely delicious and you think I’m gonna sit behind a camera for two more hours?”

You smile and send Mingyu a fake pout.

“D’aw, only two hours? We can go longer than that.”

You feel a pleasant shudder roll up and down your spine as both of them let out a growl and after a bit more shuffling about, you find yourself on your back, your legs spread with your heels on the couch as both Mingyu and Seungcheol work their fingers in and out of you.

“You’re doing so good, baby. Thank you.” Seunghcheol always took the time to praise you during your intimate moments like this, his fingers working you slowly even now, despite him clearly being hard and throbbing for more. Mingyu matched his pace, his fingers just a bit longer than Seungcheol’s as he curled them.

You can hear them kissing just above your head, your back arching suddenly as Mingyu’s fingers brush over your G spot. One of them lets out a pleased growl that makes you shudder as they both slowly press their fingers in deeper, rolling them against that sensitive bundle while they claimed each other’s lips.

Your thighs shake from the stimuli, but you feel the urge to do more than sit and do nothing so you lean towards Mingyu, nails scratching over one of his ass cheeks before you grab a handful, your lips trailing over his abs as you left kisses and bites in your wake. For Seungcheol, you drag your nails up his thigh, moving inward until you could cup and fondle his balls, smiling against Mingyu’s tan skin as you feel Seungcheol buck.

After a bit more teasing, you give him what he wants, grabbing him at the base and stroking as you continued to leave little bites along Mingyu’s flexing abdominal region.

You alternate your teasing, moving to leave bites along Seungcheol’s paler body, as well. Both of your bites take in different, contrasting ways on the men, and you have half a mind to remind them both to let you have the camera when you’re done having sex so you can photograph the bites.

You feel a coil in yourself, winding tight as both of them slowly increase their pace, feeling your body relax and loosen the more they prepped you. A whimper left your throat as you mouthed along the tip of Mingyu’s cock, your thighs twitching and nearly closing.

As keen as ever, both of them grab the knee closest to themselves, keeping your thighs open as they broke their kiss, lips kiss swollen as they looked down at you with matching smiles on their faces.

“Oh? Are you gonna cum already? Does this feel good?”

“You’re gonna make a mess, aren’t you? Go ahead baby, you’re so beautiful.”

They’re talking at the same time and you can barely tell who’s saying what over your own moans as your knees involuntarily try to close again, hips raising off of the couch ever so slightly.

“Ah, sit down baby.” Seungcheol’s tone is gentle, but it’s an order nonetheless and you feel yourself sit down, shaking in their hands as you glance down.

Sure enough, both of their fingers are glistening already, alternating tempos as they finger you, and the sight alone is enough to push you over, a gasp catching itself in your own throat as you cum.

Your lips fall open, and you feel someone set their hand around your throat, not to squeeze, but more than likely for the photo op. Regardless, it comes as an intimate comfort, your eyes fluttering half-closed as you looked up at them, pleasantly surprised that you’d already cum from fingering alone.

You find that it’s Mingyu’s hand around your throat when you meet his eyes. He doesn’t move for a full minute after your orgasm, just meeting your gaze with a quiet affection that made you smile, his thumb rubbing over your throat gently.

Once you catch your breath, both men pull their fingers out of your pussy, sitting beside you and making a show out of licking them clean. You watch with your eyes still half-lidded, licking your own lips before you push yourself closer, kissing Seungcheol, and then Mingyu, purring at your taste lingering on their tongues.

They give you a moment to calm down, helping you stretch your legs and back before Seungcheol beckoned you closer to him. You find yourself crawling into his lap, accepting a tender kiss from him as you put your knees at either side of his hips.

You pause only long enough to see if Mingyu wanted to move the camera before you feel Seungcheol, in a rare moment of impatience, pull you down, grinding his cock between your folds.

“Fuck that camera.”

It brought an unexpected laugh out of both you and Mingyu somewhere behind you as you reach between your legs, holding his cock up so you could sink down at your own pace.

Both of you let out a breath you hadn’t realized you were holding, and slowly, inch by inch, you sit on Seungcheol’s cock. He held your ass in both hands, caressing and kneading them as he waited for you to get comfortable, letting out a small groan as you give your hips a small wiggle.

“A perfect fit as always~”You tease, knowing he wanted to move his own hips. Seungcheol’s brow twitched ever so slightly before he looked up at you, one of his hands roaming up the side of your body, from your thigh, up to your waist and abdomen, all the way up to your face. You lean into his palm, cupping one of your hands over it as you smile down at him.

“Are you okay?” His voice is quiet, calm despite the fact you can feel him throbbing inside of you. You send him a smile, leaning down until your lips brush over his forehead, his cheeks, down to his nose, and stopping at his lips.

“You really are a softie, you know that?” You giggle. Seungcheol opened his mouth to say something, but it catches on his own breath as you begin to roll your hips, pressing your hands to the couch behind his head to steady yourself.

Seungcheol’s eyes drift down your body, and his hands once again follow suit, caressing and touching every part of you he can get to, moaning your name in deep purrs that make you teasingly clench up every time you bring your hips up.

You hear a moan off to the side somewhere and lift your head, finding Mingyu stroking himself as he sits on a prop chair, spread out with his legs wide apart. You smile to yourself, a hard-to-describe, yet powerful feeling rolling in your chest.

You loved both of your boyfriends to death, and it was evident they loved you just as much. Times like these when you drove them wild in your own way did wonders for your confidence, if you were being honest.

As you ride Seungcheol, you curl your finger, beckoning Mingyu over. His hand paused halfway up his cock as he met your gaze, running his tongue over his bottom lip before he stood, making his way over to you and Seungcheol, his cock hard, the veins prominent along the shaft. You lean over Seungcheol as best you can, glad he understood what you were trying to do as he grabs your hips to steady you, planting his feet onto the couch and thrusting up into you.

You grab Mingyu’s cock, stroking slowly, knowing he was a lot more impatient than Seungcheol and smiling at the telltale frustrated groan he let out the moment you begin to tease him.

“Is something-ah fuck-wrong, Gyu?” You can barely keep the playful taunting tone in your voice as Seungcheol’s teeth find their way to your piercing, tugging lightly as he snapped his hips up.

“My girlfriend is dressed as a succubus and our boyfriend is fucking her and my cock is currently hard and in your hand. Do I have to say anything else?”

You send him a devilish smile, squeezing his cock as you tilt your head. His hips buck the moment you do, a surprised groan leaving his lips as he looked at you with his teeth between his lips.

“Yes, actually.” is your reply, grabbing his balls with your free hand and stroking him at an antagonizingly slow pace with the other. Mingyu’s thighs tremble for a moment before a whimper fell from his lips.

“Y/N, please.”

“Beg, Mingyu.”

You hear even Seungcheol let out a breathless ‘ fuck’ from beneath you as Mingyu groaned in surprise.

“Y/N, please, can I have your mouth? I’m aching and I can’t take it-”

You squeeze him at the base again, dragging your tongue up the underside, cutting him off.

“Can’t? Are you sure?” You mewl, hearing Seungcheol’s thrusts get louder from how wet you were. Part of you felt bad for teasing Mingyu, but if the throbbing in your hand and the expression on his face was anything to go by, you knew he liked this type of bullying quite a bit.

“P-Please, I promise I won’t even cum without permission I just-”

Oh, uh oh~

Mingyu noticed the devilish look that crossed your face and stopped mid-sentence. Seungcheol let out a chuckle from beneath you as you hold Mingyu’s gaze, slowly taking him into your mouth, letting your hand fall away from his base. He let out a sigh of relief, looking at you with adoration in his eyes as you continue to fondle his balls.

Despite your own pleasure, you were hell-bent on making sure Mingyu came undone without permission just so you could punish him.

Maybe putting on this outfit gave you a lot more confidence than usual.

Perhaps you’d get more soon.

You feel your back arch as Seungcheol’s cock curved just right, your thighs tightening around his waist as the pace of his hips took over the tempo completely. He hugged your waist tight, picking up on the muffled gag from your moan and the way you clenched around him. You feel warmth bloom all throughout your body, your blowjob getting messier the longer it went on.

To his credit, Mingyu kept his hips still and his hands to himself until you shakily reach for one of them, setting it at the back of your head and looking up at him. He let out a breathy chuckle.

“You’re trying to make me cum aren’t you?”

You arch a brow coyly before you feel your eyes roll ever so slightly as Seungcheol hit your sweet spot hard. Mingyu waited until you were ready before he moved his own hips, both of them setting a much different tempo than the other.

It’s as messy as it is intimate, with Seungcheol murmuring words of love and praise against your skin as Mingyu’s cock hits the back of your throat, his fingers moving down to the back of your neck. You wonder if both of them realize it’s a sensitive zone for you or something, since both of them have this thing for massaging it. Every time they do, it made pleasant jolts run up and down your spine, and now was no different as you swallow hard around Mingyu’s cock.

“B-Baby, I’m-”

Seungcheol’s hips are stuttering below you, and you finally begin to move your own once more in response, clenching every time he nearly pulled out, enticing him to sink back in. Seungcheol growled out a string of curses, planting a hard spank to your ass that makes you jolt in surprise, gagging once more on Mingyu’s cock.

“Are you o-okay- fuck ” Mingyu barely finished speaking before you adamantly sink down fully, nose against his pelvic region as you looked up at him. He cupped your face, holding your gaze and wiping away any overstimulated tears that rolled down your cheek as Seungcheol alternated kneading your sore cheek, spanking the other, and rubbing your clit.

It didn’t take much more for you to clench tight, thighs shaking as you came first, nails leaving scratches against the leather couch as you scrambled for purchase on something. Mingyu’s hips twitched themselves as he kept still, biting back his own urge to cum as he watched Seungcheol hug you close, cumming inside of you as he kissed the valley between your breasts, mumbling something neither you or Mingyu could hear.

Once both you and Seungcheol’s orgasms had subsided, you noticed a distinct lack of something and looked up at Mingyu, who stood over you with a (barely) triumphant look on his face.

“I didn’t cum without permission.”

Seungcheol laughed from beneath you as you slowly pull off of Mingyu’s cock, a spark of chaos and challenge in your eyes.

“I noticed. Come over here, then.”

A few minutes of repositioning, handsy grabbing and intimate butterfly kisses that quickly turned into more, and you were on your hands and knees, ass arched high in the air and a poor couch pillow being squeezed to hell and back as Mingyu thrust into you from behind. He held your shoulder down with one hand, the other on your waist to keep you in place as he thrust in deep, the cum Seungcheol left behind making a mess of both of you and the poor couch below as he watched his cock sink in and out of you.

You’re unsure of the words leaving your lips by this point, if they’re even words at all or just unintelligible sounds of ecstasy as Mingyu fucked you.

“Your hips are moving on their own again, my love? Are you gonna milk my cock like you did Hyung’s?”

You moan in response, glancing at him over your shoulder, rolling your hips in circles to meet him halfway. His thrusts are still powerful and nearly stop you in your tracks from how good it felt. Seungcheol isn’t too far from the two of you, stopping to give Mingyu a kiss that doesn’t shake the younger man’s tempo in the slightest before he circles around to you, kneeling on the floor in front of you and tilting your chin up so you can look into his eyes.

“Absolutely beautiful. Do you want to cum again? Can Mingyu cum, baby? He’s been working so hard~” he caressed your cheek, smiling as you once again press into his palm, nodding. He stole a kiss and shook his head.

“Ah, you made him say it. What do you want Mingyu to do?”

“C-Cum inside! Please cum inside of me I n-need it please-” You once again roll your hips, moaning in bliss as Mingyu rewards your efforts by going faster himself, hooking both of his hands over your thighs and pulling you back into his thrusts. Seungcheol continued to compliment and praise both of you, his voice raising only when both of yours did from your own groans.

“Go ahead, Mingyu. Give our love what she wants.”

You feel tears of pleasure roll down your cheeks as you cum again, thankful for Mingyu’s tight grip on your thighs, since you’re sure you would have fallen without it. You bury your face into Seungcheol’s neck and cry out something, though you’re not too sure of what since your mind blanked. Heat flooded between your legs as Mingyu came inside of you, groaning as he held you tight, slowing his wild pace to a slow grind.

You shudder, fingers leaving indents on Seungcheol’s skin as you held onto his shoulders, needing a moment to catch your breath before you pull away, heart hammering in your chest.

“Hey there, baby. You okay?” He inquired. You smile and nod without a word, giving him a kiss. He chuckled and happily kissed you back, caressing your cheeks with both thumbs before you broke it to try and lean back and kiss Mingyu. He bent over your body, making it easier for you as he leaned most of the way in.

Seungcheol watched the two of you for a moment before moving himself to turn the camera off, grabbing a robe for all three of you and coming back.

Once you broke the kiss, you pout as you feel Mingyu pull out of you. It’s immediately gone the moment he wrapped you up in the robe, picking you up effortlessly and smiling at Seungcheol.

“It’s a good thing the studio has showers.”

The three of you laugh as Mingyu led the way to the showers.

“We should probably change that couch, though,” Seungcheol commented.

“Oh, yeah, definitely.” You nod, putting your head against Mingyu’s chest.

-xoxox-

“YOU FUCKED IN THE STUDIO AGAIN?”

Mingyu dodged the couch pillow being hurled at him by Joshua while you sit and watch with Jeonghan. The man looked amused by the entire thing, going through the photos Mingyu, Seungcheol, and you had cleaned up and edited.

“Oh, that is a cute outfit on you, Y/N.” He commented, ignoring Seungcheol trying to play peacekeeper.

“We bought a new couch!”

“YOU USED MY CARD TO DO IT!”

You bring a cup of tea up to your lips, watching Josh lob a plushie that definitely belonged to Hosi across the room, nailing Seungcheol in the face. You glance back at Jeonghan, pointing to one of the pictures that was taken towards the beginning of your ‘shoot’. You, Mingyu, and Seungcheol looked like a trio of love-sick idiots, and it made you smile as you pointed it out.

“This one is my favorite, I think.”

Jeonghan nodded, sipping his own tea.

“I think it captures a lot.”

You smile and nod before you feel a dinosaur plushie belonging to Chan collide with your own head.

“DON’T SIT THERE LAUGHING, YOU’RE IN TROUBLE, TOO!”

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[mlmxreader]

Sure | Laszlo Kreizler x m!reader

anonymous asked: Can I get a fic where Lazlo for the first time has feelings for another man, his chubby new assistant, what happens when he can’t contain his feelings anymore and the assistant also reveals his feelings.

summary: Laszlo starts to feel things, and although he's not entirely sure what they are or what they mean, he knows he has to be honest.

tws: mentions of homophobia & fatphobia (v brief & not graphic)

note: if you tag this as "q slur" in reblogs I'll break your fucking kneecaps.

Laszlo had known he was attracted to men for a long time, he knew that he felt both romantic and sexual attraction towards men, and he had made peace with it so long ago that he almost couldn't remember when he had ever felt negatively towards it; but the issue was, although he knew he was attracted to men, he had never actually found a man he was genuinely interested in before. He'd never dated men before, nobody he'd ever met caught his eye... until you came along.

It was nothing, to begin with, Laszlo had just stumbled upon you after being told by John that you were one of the few men in the area who knew anything about snakes; Mary had been having some trouble with the reptiles, and Laszlo had took it upon himself to see if he could find a way to help. You didn't have a job, at least, not one that paid decently or treated you particularly well; being both openly queer as well as chubby got you enough abuse to make you tear up and break down if you ever thought of it. Your boss, especially, tended to be more than vile towards you; but Laszlo had found your company to be pleasurable, and upon seeing your circumstances, he offered to take you on as his assistant.

Of course, you naturally agreed. Laszlo was kind, he never shamed you or hated you for being queer - in fact, he was quite open about being attracted to men as well as other genders. You knew you were safe with him, at that point. But then he noticed that you were slightly picky with your dinner, and he ever so gently asked why; you were honest, and admitted that you didn't feel as if you could enjoy food after the abuse you had suffered for daring to eat and to enjoy food. He offered to help you to work on that, to try and see if he could help you enjoy eating once again. Yes, Laszlo was kind. And if you were honest... very handsome, incredibly charming, and just your type.

You hadn't been working as his assistant for long, maybe a month, when Laszlo started to realise that his feelings ran much deeper than he had first thought; his palms would sweat a little when he was around you, his smile a bit on the uneasy side as anxiety bit through his throat, he'd suddenly become a little bit too worried about how he looked. He thought he'd taken something, the way his heart thundered and crashed about in his chest. He worried he was suddenly sick from the way he started to shake a little and how the air in his lungs was hammered out... all because you smiled at him, or said good morning. He asked Sara about it, whether she knew of any instances of such a thing - and she had the pleasure of explaining to him that, actually, what he was experiencing was having feelings for someone. Laszlo hardly knew what to do with himself.

The feelings didn't fade, though, in fact they only got worse; when you knocked on his bedroom door and cleared your throat, toying with your tie as you looked around the room. Laszlo could hardly resist the urge to tell you how fucking handsome you were; how fucking wonderful you looked.

"Uh, Doctor Kreizler?"

"Yes, (y/n)?"

"Dinner with John," you bit at the inside of your lip, your brows furrowed. You looked nervous. "He said it was something about, uh, uhm..."

But all words left you when you finally met Laszlo's gaze; his big brown eyes glittering with the light from golden hour as he sat at the edge of his bed, hanging onto every word that left your lips. You cleared your throat again.

"He said it was something about the murder down on Tarantino Street."

Laszlo nodded, sighing as he shifted over to the far edge of the bed, tapping the spot next to him as he pursed his lips a little. "Will you sit with me, (y/n)?"

"Of course, Doctor," you nodded, sitting down beside him and bouncing your knee. "Have I... have I done something wrong?"

"No," Laszlo shook his head. "Quite the contrary."

"What'd you mean?"

"(y/n), I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I..." swallowing thickly, Laszlo looked down at the floor. "I have feelings for you."

You could hardly bite back your smile, hardly able to contain it as if it was some hungry snake after a rat or a mouse. "Y-you do?"

"Yes," he nodded. "And I know it may be... wrong. Given our social standings, and the fact that you're under my employment."

"I dunno," you said softly, daring to wrap your arm around his shoulders. "I, uh, I think it'd be okay..."

Daring to look up at you, Laszlo put his hand on your stomach to steady himself, able to feel the warmth of your flesh through the thin fabric of your shirt. "You do?"

You nodded. "I do, Doctor-"

"Laszlo," he pleaded. "Please. Call me Laszlo."

Pulling him onto your lap, you couldn't deny that you liked the way he felt against your thighs, and when his hands rested on your chest, you were suddenly drowning. "Laszlo. I think it'd be okay. If you wanna ask me out, though... just do it."

"Are you sure?"

"Laszlo, look at me," you gently grasped his chin between your forefinger and thumb, his beard tickling your fingers a little. "I'm sure."

He could only nod, a slow and somewhat nervous still motion, but the smile on his lips made you hum softly; you knew, in that moment, that falling for Laszlo Kreizler was going to be a lot more fun than you'd first thought.