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thebiggerbear · 10 months ago

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Something Like This

Summary: A Nor'easter hits Boston and luckily for you, you don't have anywhere you need to be except right here snuggled up with CJ.

A/N: So, I started writing this back in January. We got quite a few snowfalls that month and I had wanted to write some cuddle time with CJ and the reader from the "I hate you" prompt. I wrote about 70% of it but then got distracted due to busy times at work and in life. But after this latest snowfall, I picked it up again and had to finish it. This wasn't originally meant to be for Valentine's Day (obviously) but I changed it up a little since the timing worked out. It's not much but I hope it's alright. Btw, I love snow, just not shoveling it lol.

Unbeta'd so all mistakes are mine.

Sequel to this prompt response

Warnings: pure fluff; implied sex

Word Count: 5995

Taglist: @avada-kedavra-bitch-187; @rieleatiel

CJ Taglist: @deans-spinster-witch; @birdiellie; @heartlessdelusions; @illicithallways; @nancymcl

@muhahaha303

Jensen Taglist: @samanddeaninatrenchcoat; @deansbbyx

You can also read on AO3

You opened one eye and turned to glance out the window after hearing a low whistle. You watched as snow flakes whipped around in a furious dance against the glass before moving on. “Wow, it’s really coming down out there.”

You felt your boyfriend nuzzling your ear. “Yeah, it is,” he murmured. “Not that I mind.”

You couldn’t help but smile and turn to face him. You saw the blissed out grin gracing his handsome face and the affection in his green eyes as they settled on you. You ran your fingers gently through his hair, making him let out a tiny contented sigh as he burrowed into your neck.

The meteorologists had predicted a Nor’easter for the weekend, one that was going to produce at least a couple of feet of snow after a 24 hour period, and predictably, people panicked and flooded the stores. Being a college student, you hadn’t needed to make a mad rush to the store to buy bottled water, canned goods, or bread; that was something you normally had in your stash. But the storm was something everyone on campus was talking about. Some students who didn’t want to stick around for the mushy white stuff headed out early on Friday for a warmer (or at least drier) destination. Even some professors had canceled classes in the early afternoon even though it wasn’t supposed to start snowing until well after midnight. During all of this hubbub, CJ had called you and suggested you come stay at his place for the weekend. Considering you didn’t want to get stuck with Stacey and her boyfriend (you had heard her making plans earlier that day) and you hadn’t seen CJ since Tuesday, you were completely on board with that plan.

You had brought what you considered to be your own personal snowstorm kit which consisted of hot chocolate mix (with tiny marshmallows of course), a big cozy blanket, and the warmest pajama set you owned. They may or may not have bunny rabbits dressed in sweaters, hats, and mittens enjoying a snow day on them. And CJ may or may not have laughed and enjoyed teasing you when you put them on Friday night for the first movie of the evening. He hadn’t been laughing long though when he discovered how easily he could unbutton your shirt and get his hands in there or how quickly he could undress you.

CJ had his own preparations he had made. He had candles, flashlights, the same type of food and drink stash you had with a few differences, blankets, extra pillows, a few movies picked out and ready to go by the TV, and enough Twizzlers to last you the weekend. You had happily kissed him for that last one; he knew how much you loved Twizzlers.

Sure enough, the snow started right after midnight and hadn’t stopped. Boston was covered in a thick white blanket that just kept growing and growing no matter how many plows made their way through the streets. Now it was Saturday afternoon, with the storm halfway over, and it didn’t show any signs of slowing down any time soon. Feeling CJ pressing gentle kisses to your neck, you were just fine with that.

You hummed happily and closed your eyes, enjoying the sensations of his lips on your skin and his hands sneaking under the hem of your shirt to caress your back. “I love this,” you whispered.

“I love you,” he whispered back, making you smile as he worked his way up to your jaw line.

“We just showered and changed the sheets an hour ago,” you whined when you felt his fingers trail from your back to your front, sneaking under the waistband of your pajama pants.

“I have extra sheets,” he reassured, placing kisses to your cheek and then the corner of your mouth.

“You’re insatiable,” you teased. He had already had you twice this morning and once last night.

“So, I love having sex with my girlfriend, sue me.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully before pecking your lips.

“We have all weekend,” you reminded him. Thankfully, his roommate had made other arrangements for the impending snowstorm, something you highly suspected CJ had urged him to do. “Besides, I wanted to just snuggle for a while and maybe make out a little.” You pouted up at him.

He studied you for a moment and then let out a chuckle. “Just snuggling and making out, huh?”

You grinned and nodded, loving the sight of his smile. CJ may be an attractive guy with handsome features, but his smile made your heart leap inside your chest every single time. Enough that you were starting to worry that you should probably go to the doctor for a checkup, but damn did you love his smile. Had you been able to see it through the months of phone conversations the two of you had, you probably would’ve been an absolute goner from the get go.

“Okay,” he sighed and moved his hand out of your pants and flopped onto his back next to you, pulling you further into his arms. “Happy?”

“Very.” You picked up his hand and began to play with his fingers while he kissed the top of your head. His free hand rubbed up and down your back in soothing circles and he let his cheek rest against your hair.

You both stayed quiet for a few minutes and just listened to the wind howling outside every so often.

“You know, Y/N, I never thought I’d be able to have something like this,” he quietly admitted to you. “A relationship with a girl where I’m sober…and happy.” You smiled, squeezing his fingers in between yours. “I had a plan I was sticking to until I graduated and nothing was going to change it. But then I met you.” You glanced up to find him watching you, an affectionate smile on his face. “And it all changed.”

The words should have made something in your chest warm but instead a spike of anxiety flowed through it instead. He was supposed to be in New York City right now, not Boston. He was only here because of you, because he didn’t want to be two states away from you long term though you had promised you would visit if he went. Nope, he decided he was staying here and finishing out his education at Boston Bay no matter what you’d said to try to convince him not to miss out on an important opportunity. As far as he was concerned, he’d made his decision, he was good with it, and it was case closed.

So, a part of you started to worry but knowing you as well as he did by now, he leaned forward and kissed you until the worry began to fade away. “And I couldn’t be happier that it did,” he whispered to your lips before kissing you again. You felt him shift an arm away from you but before you could look to see what he was doing, he deepened the kiss and you melted into him.

A moment later, he pulled away, making you whine and reach for him when suddenly there was a bouquet of red roses in your face causing your eyes to widen in surprise. CJ was beaming down at you. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart.”

Your mouth dropped in shock. You had been so busy the last two weeks, you had completely forgotten the holiday was today. Truthfully, you had never bothered with the holiday before. To you, it was nothing more than a day that Corporate America hijacked to make even more money off of the backs of its consumers. You had never put much stock into it before, not since you reached high school. And now, you had someone you deeply cared about, someone you loved, and you had made the worst mistake you could’ve made by forgetting the holiday while your amazing boyfriend obviously hadn’t.

“Th-Thank you,” you stammered. He offered the bouquet to you and you gratefully accepted them, leaning them up to your nose to gently sniff their wonderful scent. “They’re beautiful.”

CJ carefully moved to the side and sat up against the headboard, watching you with a grin. “Only the best for my girl.”

“You know I have to ask how.” You had been here since last night and never once had you come across any flowers. Not to mention, there was no way any flower deliveries were being made today. You idly wondered just how much money florists across the city were losing.

He inclined his head towards the other side of the room. “Mike’s closet.”

You shot him a look of disbelief. “And they survived?”

CJ laughed and gave you a nod. “They did. I’m not going to lie, I checked on them in the middle of the night when you were asleep. I was worried they would be all wilted or that we might have a Little Shop of Horrors situation suddenly on our hands.”

You snickered and sat up next to him. “If it starts asking me for blood, I’m putting it back in Mike’s closet. It can be a very belated Christmas present.”

He shook his head, chuckling, and wrapped his arm around your shoulders. “I’m just glad they held up. I got them delivered last night before you got here. I put them in water and when you were in the bathroom before, I took them out, dried them off, and hid them on my side of the bed. They seem to be doing okay.” He studied the flowers to make sure.

“They’re perfect,” you whispered. They really were. They could have been dying or missing petals or even a cheap bouquet from the convenience store, and they still would have been perfect. No one had ever given you flowers for Valentine’s Day before or any flowers period — no one other than your dad that is.

CJ smiled over at you and leaned in to kiss you. “I’m glad you like them.”

“They must’ve cost you a fortune, though.”

He waved his free hand dismissively. “Worth it.” He pecked your lips again. “And I made reservations for us for Tuesday night at that seafood place you like.”

Your eyes nearly bugged out of your head. “The super expensive one?”

He shrugged. “I was going to take you last night but I knew it would be packed. So this way, we avoid the whole crowd of everyone trying to cram in a romantic dinner at the last minute and we can just enjoy ourselves on Tuesday.”

Shame began to unfurl in your chest. He had really thought of everything. Now him lighting the candles last night, the Twizzler stash, him insisting on ordering your favorite takeout — all of it started to make sense in a different way than they first had for the romantic weekend you both were holed up in for the snowstorm. How could you have been so blockheaded not to realize? Granted, you both never talked about what you would want to do for this holiday; it was your first one since you began dating. But you still should have realized. Now CJ had gone all out for you, and you had nothing to give him in return. He had even been thoughtful enough to choose not only your favorite restaurant but a night where it wouldn’t be so crowded since he knew how you felt about being in the same room as a massive amount of people. You had the most amazing and considerate boyfriend and you literally had nothing for him. What a crappy girlfriend you were.

And due to the snow, you couldn’t even try to make up for it by making plans or reservations to take him anywhere (you would have sat in a crowded restaurant for him if it made him happy), or go to the store to get him anything or even purchase ingredients for a meal you could cook for him. You hadn’t even brought anything sexy to wear to bed for him, just your old comfortable PJ’s. Girlfriend fail indeed.

Your smile started to fade and you glanced up at him worriedly. “CJ…I didn’t…I wasn’t—”

He gently kissed your nose. “I know. We never talked about it and I knew you were busy these last two weeks. I just wanted to do something nice for you. I know how you feel about this holiday and well…I wanted to change that up a little. Give you some good memories.” He stroked a petal of the rose closest to him before turning a warm smile on you.

You could feel a familiar stinging in the corner of your eyes. He remembered what you’d told him in one of your many phone conversations when you’d been getting to know each other. You’d been discussing each holiday and sharing both of your thoughts when it came to each one. You didn’t care for Valentine’s Day and when he asked why, you surprised yourself by telling him the truth. In high school, every year, roses were for sale. You could choose between red, pink, and yellow ones; they were approximately five dollars each. You could give it to the person (or people) you bought them for directly, leave it taped to their lockers, or have them delivered to the class they were in. And each year, you were one of two people out of your whole class who never received any. You weren’t a social outcast by any means but you weren’t part of the whole cliques business, preferring to do your own thing. No boy was interested in you and while you had friends, they weren’t the type to buy yellow roses for all of their friends on that day. You and Charlotte Campbell never received a rose in any capacity. And that only held true until junior year when finally you couldn’t take the sad expression on Charlotte’s face anymore as she watched deliveries being made in class, knowing that she was going to be crying her eyes out in the girl’s bathroom before next period, and you did something about it. You ignored the shocked look on Justine Helman’s face when you purchased a pink rose and gave her instructions on where and when to deliver it. The surprised and grateful smile on Charlotte’s face later in History class when a student had delivered the rose to her had been worth it. So much so that you repeated the process in senior year. You had no idea if she ever figured out they were from you (Justine was known to be quite the busybody), but you hoped that regardless, it gave her a little bit of happiness in that moment each time the holiday rolled around.

And from there you slowly began to realize that the holiday was an excuse for florists, candy companies, greeting card companies, condom companies (CJ chuckled at that one but didn’t disagree), lingerie departments and boutiques, jewelry stores, and movie studios and TV stations to make more money. Like one big conspiracy they all partook in for the almighty dollar. So, every time the holiday came around, you rolled your eyes and refused to even acknowledge it. If you loved someone and they loved you, you didn’t need a corporate-infused holiday and two empty bank accounts to show it. That’s where you had stood on the holiday of love and you were determined to keep that stance for the rest of your life.

But then you started dating CJ and now…now you were ready to tear up because he had remembered what you’d said and wanted you to have a good memory on this day for once. You launched yourself at him, kissing him passionately while being careful not to crush the flowers. “I love you,” you whispered when you both needed air.

He moved his hands up to your cheeks and wiped tears away with his thumbs. You had no idea they had escaped. “I love you, too.” His brows drew together as he studied your face. “This was okay, right?”

CJ had never celebrated the holiday with someone either. He’d never been in a relationship when it would roll around on the calendar before this one. So this was his first time acknowledging it, too, to anyone outside of family and friends.

You gave him the most grateful smile you could. “Yeah. More than okay.” You could see the relief playing over his expression. You reached behind you to gently place the flowers on his nightstand and turned back to him, cupping his face. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome, sweetheart. I’m really glad you like it.” His soft smile made a leaping sensation happen in your chest.

“Like it?” A glimmer of worry shined in his green eyes. “Oh, you are so getting laid right now, pal.” You started to pull him to you as you leaned back onto the bed. He laughed but it got cut short by you kissing him deeply. You moaned into his mouth when he settled in between your thighs and you cradled his hips with your legs. You began to hurriedly unbutton your top when his hands stopped you and he lifted up for air.

“Wait, wait.” You gulped for air, watching him intently, wondering why he was stopping you. “As badly as I want this, and it’s really, really badly, I actually have a plan.”

You arched your brows in question. “A plan?”

A small raw sound escaped his throat as you rubbed up against him, feeling him growing impossibly harder. “Yep. Damn, I’m going to have to start thinking about Kierkegaard, aren’t I?”

You had been smirking, digging your teeth into your bottom lip as you continued to tease him, when that caught your attention. “Kierkegaard?”

He nodded emphatically, his eyes closed, as he tried to pull away from you but you locked your legs around him. “Yeah,” he nearly moaned out as you grinded against his erection.

“CJ,” you called in your most seductive voice, a tone that you knew drove him crazy, as he’d told you one night after phone sex during finals week. That had been the first time you’d attempted it and boy, had that turned out to be one fun evening.

You both had been stressed and unable to make time for one another, so you’d taken the situation by the ‘nads, literally. You were nervous; you weren’t sure if this would be something he liked or if you would screw up or if you would sound horrifically laughable. Before you could chicken out, you’d called him up one night near the end of his shift.

“Hello, Helpline. This is CJ.”

“Hello, CJ. I seem to be having a problem that I think only you can help with.”

“Oh? And what’s that, Jo?” You could hear the smile in his voice, having recognized yours right away. You felt a little bit of a thrill at him using your old name; it just added to the excitement of what you were about to do.

“Well, the thing is, my boyfriend and I haven’t had much time to see one another. Finals, you know?”

“Yeah, finals week can be brutal.”

“Mmm, you know what else is brutal? We haven’t had sex in almost two weeks.”

It took him a moment to respond and in that time, you wondered if maybe you had already screwed things up. Perhaps you shouldn’t have started this while he was on shift. Perhaps you had made him uncomfortable or you sounded like an idiot as you had feared, probably both. You were just about to backtrack when he quietly cleared his throat. “That does sound pretty brutal. Maybe you two should make some special plans to remedy that once finals are over.”

Relieved, you let out a drawn out sigh into the phone. “But that’s at the end of the week. I’m not sure I can wait that long. I’ve tried taking care of things myself, you know? But it’s not the same.”

“Well, perhaps you’re not using that…method correctly. Maybe you should tell me what it is you’re doing and we can figure it out together why it’s not working. Don’t leave out a single detail. I’m here to help.”

You smirked and shook your head. “Well, that’s sort of what I was thinking, CJ,” you played along. “But, I don’t think that it’s anything I’m doing wrong in the process. I think it’s that my boyfriend isn’t present when I do it. So, I was thinking maybe you could pretend to be him while I do it and we’ll see if maybe that will help, you know?”

“Whatever you need. That’s what I’m here for.” You could hear his voice getting deeper and you felt a flipping sensation in your stomach.

“That’s what I like to hear,” you whispered huskily. “How much longer do you have before we can do this experiment?”

“I’ve got ten minutes left.” He then lowered his voice. “I can be at your place in twenty.”

Oh God, you would have loved for him to come by but Stacey and her worse half were expected to walk through the door in the next hour and you wanted to continue this game for lack of a better word. “Uh, uh, uh. No can do, CJ. My boyfriend wouldn’t like it and we’re supposed to do this over the phone. You’re helping me so I can make it through the next week until I see him again, remember?”

“But if my shift is over in ten then how—”

“Now, CJ, I believe we exchanged room numbers, didn’t we? In case I ever needed your help outside of your hours at the helpline?” You then lowered your voice again. “And, baby, I really need your help on this one.”

You heard a quiet gulp on the other end of the line. “R-Right. You know, Seth just walked in so I’m going to clock out early and head home. I’ll call you when I get there, it should be no more than ten minutes, give or take.”

“Make it seven,” you huskily commanded before hanging up the phone. You snickered, wondering if he would literally run those three blocks to his dorm if he had to. Sure enough, when he called you eight minutes later, panting and breathing out, “I’m here. I’m here,” you knew you had been right. That had been one explosive night and you had not only discovered something new about yourself but you also discovered something new about him as well. You liked to tease him and be in charge sometimes; he liked being teased and he liked for you to be in charge sometimes. Win-win and it had done wonders for your confidence in the bedroom. You had certainly never done anything like that with anyone else. That was another thing you loved about him. CJ allowed you the room to explore and you felt completely safe with him to do so.

There may or may not have been a few more illicit call-ins at the end of his shift, and there may or may not have been another week or two that you purposely didn’t see each other so it could lead to fantastic phone sex, desperate and passionate sex when you reunited, or both.

So now, you decided to use that tone on him once more. “Why are you trying to pull away? I want this really badly, too.” You gently dragged your nails down his bare chest down to his navel, knowing how he loved it when you did that. Sure enough, you heard a tiny gasp coming from him. You lifted up to whisper in his ear, “You can still have your plan but let’s do this first. Come on, CJ, I know you want this just as much as I do.” You nibbled at his ear lobe. “So, I love having sex with my boyfriend, sue me.” You couldn't help teasing him by repeating his words back to him.

His eyes snapped open and he gently pushed you back on the bed, his hands carefully pinning your shoulders down and his chest heaving in and out. You could see his pupils were blown wide with lust. You knew then if you just nudged him a little more, he’d give in and you wouldn’t leave this bed for the rest of the day. “I really want this but I also want you to see the rest of my plan just as much. And we need energy for it. I’m more than willing to give you what you want later but right now, let’s go see what I’ve got planned first, okay?”

You gave him the sad puppy dog expression as he called it, and predictably it made him chuckle. “Okay,” you agreed. Considering how much trouble he’d gone to in order to surprise you on this holiday, you’d do as he asked and stop teasing him. You unhooked your legs from his waist and he released your shoulders. He began to lean down to kiss you in thanks but he seemed to think better of it and lifted his head once more.

“So, what’s the plan?” You asked.

“Did you happen to bring gloves and a hat in that huge bag of yours?”

Your eyes widened and then narrowed. “Why?”

He grinned down at you and ran a tender thumb along your cheek.

CJ had told you to get dressed and to bundle up. You had begrudgingly done so, not happy that you were obviously leaving the warm cocoon you had both been in since the storm started, but it was what he wanted and you were intent on giving him anything he desired today. Sure enough, he led you out of his dorm and down the street. The thick snowflakes were still coming down steadily but at least the wind wasn’t as bad as it had been earlier. It was almost peaceful, your gloved hand in CJ’s, you two being the only ones out and about. The lack of sounds of city life and the white landscape painted a picture that was beyond beautiful.

You came to a stop near a park and CJ turned a smile onto you before trudging inward, bringing you along. He settled on an open spot and let your hand go. “Remember when you told me about those snow days you used to have?”

Your lips parted in shock. He really did remember almost everything you told him. You should be used to it by now but it still managed to surprise you every once in a while. Back then, you had no idea just how much he looked forward to your phone calls and how much he truly enjoyed talking to you as you got to know one another.

You had told him about the snow days you had from elementary school, the rare ones where you would get more than a foot of snow. You didn’t have any siblings and your dad, who was usually busy with work, would take you outside to do all kinds of fun things. You made snowmen, you had snowball fights, you would go sledding…he had even made you a small snow fort once. Afterwards, you would both go inside and your mom would have steaming mugs of hot cocoa with marshmallows waiting. Those days were some of your best childhood memories.

CJ grinned over at you and then began to make the bottom part of a snowman. You let out a tiny squeal of excitement and hurried over to help him, earning you a laugh.

It wasn’t long before you had the snowman built. CJ reached into his pockets and pulled out buttons, a carrot, and an old pipe that he told you he had managed to buy this week when you asked where he’d gotten them from. You felt that familiar warmth in your chest when you realized that he really had been planning this longer than a day or two. Again, you felt horrible that you had been so oblivious and that you had nothing in return for him. You were resolved that you were going to make this up to him, though. Big time. He could pick all the movies you would watch for the next month. You would play all the mini golf he wanted (when the weather cleared up of course). You would let him choose the takeout and restaurants for however long he wanted. You would do everything he wanted to do and give him whatever he wanted.

He placed the items on the snowman and slipped out a beanie hat to finish off the look. He stood back with you as you both studied your creation.

“Something’s missing,” you wondered aloud.

“Sticks for arms? I can find some.”

“No…something else.” It finally hit you and you removed the scarf from around your neck, the one CJ had lent you, and wrapped it around the snowman’s. “There.” You beamed over at your boyfriend. “All done,” you informed him in a singsong voice. CJ smiled warmly at you and his eyes held a familiar gleam of affection as he stepped forward. He removed the scarf from the snowman, making you frown. “Hey! Now he’s incomplete again.”

He took a step closer to you and shook the scarf of any snow remnants, gently wrapping it around your neck once more. “You need it more than he does,” he murmured, placing a tender kiss on your nose.

You couldn’t help but smile at his sweet gesture. You lifted up to kiss him when he took a few steps away from you, making your brows furrow. He grinned and suddenly fell backwards, making you gasp and hurry over, falling to your knees beside him. “CJ, are you alright?”

He chuckled and looked up at you. “What was the last part of the story you told me?” He began to move his arms and legs in a familiar motion.

“Snow angels,” you whispered.

He continued making one and you crawled a little distance away to plop onto your back and make one of your own. You couldn’t help giggling as you did it. God, this was amazing. Why had you ever stopped doing this once you were no longer a little kid? Why weren’t there any other adults out here, minus children, doing the same? This was incredible.

You had just finished making your snow angel when CJ’s face appeared in your vision. His smile rivaled yours.

“You ruined your snow angel, silly,” you teased, knowing it wasn’t intact from him crawling from nearby over to you.

He shrugged. “I don’t need it, not when I’ve got the real deal right here.”

Seeing his eyes intent on you, you knew it wasn’t just some cheesy line he was using on you. As much as you loved him, there was a part of you that didn’t understand the reverence he looked at you with sometimes. You didn’t feel you deserved it and sometimes it scared you that he might have put you on a pedestal that you were destined to fall from, being human and all. But when you would remind him of your imperfections, he would simply shrug and remind you that he wasn’t perfect either. He didn’t want perfection; he wanted real, something like what you already had. “Although, I’ve got to say, you’re pretty damn close to perfect,” he’d murmured in your ear. You had gently swatted his shoulder, which made him laugh, and he’d given you a tender smile. “Perfect for me,” he added. You had kissed him thoroughly for that sentiment and he had nuzzled you as you both settled in to watch whatever horror movie he had picked out.

You now lifted your arm up to grab hold of the collar of his coat to pull him slowly down to you. You pressed your lips to his and heard his hands settling on either side of your head, anchoring him so he could keep his weight off of you. “Thank you for today,” you whispered.

His smile grew bigger. “You’re welcome.”

You bit your lip nervously. “I’m sorry I don’t have anything planned for you. I didn’t even think… But I’m going to fix that. Starting this week. I’m going to—”

He kissed you again, effectively shutting you up. “Today has been a good day for me, too. I don’t want anything else so don’t worry about it.”

You gave him a look. “But that doesn’t make up for—”

“Tell you what, how about we head back to the dorms, get some hot chocolate going, and then you can make it up to me.” He gave you that all too familiar salacious smirk.

“CJ,” you laughed. “I’m being serious.”

“So am I.” He wiggled his eyebrows playfully.

You thought it over for a moment, studying him intently, seeing the red in his cheeks and nose from the cold, and tiny snowflakes hanging from his eyelashes. “Okay,” you agreed. “But we need to do one thing first.”

His smirk grew into a triumphant one. “What’s that?”

You instantly scooped up snow on your right and gently hit the side of his head, causing the snow to fall down the left side of his face and onto you, making you twist and squirm underneath him to keep most of the mess from pelting you.

CJ glanced down at you in shock, one half of his face covered in snow, his beanie completely saturated with it. You laughed and he immediately caged you in between his arms. “Oh, you’re going to get it.”

You hit him with another snowball and as he recovered, you crawled out from underneath him, laughing. You had just gotten to your feet to run when he tackled you, making you shriek, and began to pelt you with snow. An all out snowball war ensued and you couldn’t remember the last time you had laughed that much. Eventually, CJ won (you let him win though you would never tell him that) and he hovered over you, snow covering every inch of him, smugly smiling down at you. Now, this was perfection. You had never seen a more beautiful sight and your heart had that leaping sensation in your chest again. You hoped that no matter how old you got one day, you never lost this memory. Not only of how he looked but also how much you truly loved him in this moment.

You lifted up and kissed that smugness right off of his face. It wasn’t long before you were back at the dorms and he had snuck you into the showers with him, promising hot chocolate after you both got warmed up. As the hot water rained down on you both, you gasped as he teased you from behind, his hands roaming all over you. You turned in his arms to face him and wrapped yours around his neck to keep steady. You gasped again when he picked you up, urging you to wind your legs around his waist, and moved you under the spray so he could use the tile wall behind you as leverage.

CJ kissed you deeply, neither of you minding the water trickling down over your faces. He broke away and stared into your eyes. “Happy Valentine’s Day, sweetheart,” he murmured.

“Happy Valentine’s Day,” you whispered back to him, smiling, before his lips covered yours once more. You quickly thought back over everything from today and his words came back to you. “You know, Y/N, I never thought I’d be able to have something like this.” “A relationship with a girl where I’m sober…and happy.” The truth was you never thought you’d be able to have something like this either. But you did; you had it. And like CJ had also said, you had never been happier.

dividers by @firefly-graphics

#cj braxton x reader #cj braxton x female reader #cj braxton x y/n #cj braxton fanfiction #a little something for valentine's day with this cute boy #something like this #thebiggerbear writes

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crookedfandomquill · 1 year ago

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I am about to lose my mind with y'all, for real. To recap, we got: tons of new backstory content on Aziraphale and Crowley's relationship; tons of cute new content including them dancing together a la Jane Austen; two other queer relationships meant to parallel and contrast their own; a FUCKING KISS; confirmation from Neil that he has an entire third season planned out and, regardless of whether it gets made in a TV format, will definitely give it to us in some form or fashion... and there are still fans jumping online and acting the fool.

Look. I totally understand if relationship angst isn't your thing. I'm not always in the mood for it, and it has to make sense for the story and the characters. However, feeling a lot of feelings about how the season ended, or wishing it had gone differently as a personal preference, is not the same as getting on this platform and saying, with your whole chest, that it was HOMOPHOBIC for Aziraphale and Crowley to hit a major relationship snag. Was it goddamn sad? Absolutely. Did it hurt my soul? 100%. But there are people claiming that it's part of some new "queer people have to suffer" trend (an emotional bury-your-gays, if you will), and that Neil (noted storytelling genius and LBGTQ ally) wrote this ending as an elaborate form of queerbaiting.

My girls. My gays. My theys. My sweet, silly geese. This is preposterous. First of all, this is not how the story ends. It is a clear and masterful setup for a third season (or whatever form it takes, hopefully TV but we shall see). It's pretty typical for the second act of a story to end in some kind of tragedy or twist that needs to be resolved in the third act, and it's typical because it works great for narrative flow and character development.

Second of all, and I'm begging you to listen to me: it is not homophobic to have your queer couple experience relationship problems. It is not homophobic for there to be pain and difficulty before they get a happily ever after. It is not homophobic to let your queer characters deal with commitment issues, unresolved trauma, or other baggage that temporarily prevents them from being together. This is literally a staple of the romance story, regardless of the sexualities involved, and is something that almost anyone who's been in sexual or romantic relationships has experienced in real life to some degree.

Now, if there were truly a phenomenon in fiction where every single queer couple had to go through astronomical levels of difficulty to get a happy ending, proportional to fictional straight couples, and the sweet, uncomplicated stuff just wasn't there to indulge in, I'd concede a little. But that's just... not true. If you think it is, you may not be reading or watching broadly enough. Queer folk deserve to see queer characters overcome relationship conflict just as much as they deserve to have sweeter, escapist options.

If you're mad about Good Omens 2 because you prefer drama-free escapism in you queer relationships, or were expecting that and felt let down, that's fine, you have a right to your feelings. And it's always hard when you've waited for a story for four years and built it up in your head (which is why I generally try not to do that, but you do you). But, you do not have to justify your feelings by accusing the story of queerbaiting or homophobia. In fact, I beg you not to. Just say that it hurt and you wish it had been happier; it's okay for you to feel that way, and people shouldn't put you down for it.

But propping up your emotions by accusing a piece of media of implicitly contributing to a system of oppression that it actively works to undermine is just not where it's at, folks. There is media that genuinely does that, but this isn't it. Again, have all the emotions about the ending that you want, but stop crying wolf. It's getting old.

#good omens season 2 #good omens #good omens spoilers #discourse #feel free to yell at me in the comments but I probably won't respond #I've got a lot going on this weekend

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et-cant-phone-home-no-signal · 5 months ago

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The Last of Us HBO - Episode 1 thoughts

Warning: Pure yapping ahead, just my thoughts and things I've noticed whilst watching, it's not serious and I don't invite arguments (fellow yappers however are more than welcome)

(these make sense in the way that i wrote this as i watched so it's all chronological, this is my bday gift to all of you lol. spoilers under the cut)

Love the opening, gives a lot of the context you'd get from the opening credits of the game in a way that's easy to follow and understand for a new audience (using my mum as an example, she knows nothing about this show other than me telling her it's a zombie show - her only experience with that is the walking dead vaguely so her expectations were mid, but even she told me it's easy to understand and actually makes more sense irl compared to TWD)

The whole pandemic stuff really just hits different after COVID doesn't it

The whole climate change thing mentioned is so real, and I know this is written for modern times by modern writers, but for them to set that idea up in a 60s show is very eye-opening

The silence + stillness of the host and audience, the camera angles chosen, it's so good and unsettling in a very inconspicuous way, bravo

I wonder why they chose to change it from 2013 to 2003. Don't get me wrong I'm okay with it, and it's fun to relate to seeing a bunch of familiar things from my own childhood (lack of smartphones, older decor, easy clothing style etc), but it's a decade difference and I wonder why? Is it to make it more relatable for us that the majority of the show is set in 2023? Are we meant to connect to that more, as we've just had our own pandemic and this is a more intense fallout that we could have had if the nature of COVID had been slightly different? Maybe I'm overthinking it

The details in Sarah's room 👌 the posters, the box TV (such nostalgia), the pictures of her and friends, of her and Joel, ribbons and trophies from winning soccer tournaments, the hung up doodle paper, fairy lights, soft pink walls, it's so comfy and lived in, girly but completely her own space :') reminds me a bit of my childhood bedroom tbh, messy but comfortably so

I love that she knows her dad won't wake up so she knocks and calls because yeah, that's what you do when your dad is a deep sleeper

The contrast with Joel's room immediately after, the details there too - the old boombox cd player, fan up and running, messy dresser with slightly open drawers, the most Texas art on the walls (come on, music, deer and a tacos and beer poster?), blue walls, a hamper filled to the brim, a fucking treadmill?? Joel, your plant on the bedside table is long deceased I'm begging you to chuck it and release it from its misery 💀

(Something my mum noted, was that Sarah is wearing her natural curly hair, which mum said "it's rare to see that, in 2003 at least", to which I replied "maybe not in America?" because fr we are European and there's many cultural differences between the USA and other countries. Mum noticed it and she grew up in the Netherlands as a 60s kid. Me personally, I didn't think too much on it because it didn't click that might be odd to see someone wear natural hair, but I also admit I grew up in small villages and towns in more rural areas of Scotland and the Netherlands, so I didn't see much diversity in people growing up until like high school, but I consumed an insane amount of media such as Doctor Who and that's always been a very diverse show. Anyway, just a little thing that was noticed, I love Sarah's hair)

The domesticity :') Joel forgetting the pancake mix (good thing too), going straight for coffee, Sarah insisting on orange juice, his utter disgust at drinking it

"Gonna have to wear diapers soon." "Who says I don't already?" 💀

IS THAT DIDO PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND??? ULTIMATE WIN (I fucking love Dido, the song playing is White Flag)

"Shell." "Calcium." *pushes egg through teeth* "Lovely." stop it oh my god

Family banter, I'm eating this shit up so bad y'all, uncle Tommy <3

The Jakarta detail 👌👌

Pedro with a Texan accent is mwah

I like the detail of Sarah's name being on her bag, I had the same as a kid but my mum would sew it into the top of my bag instead, sometimes on the outside sometimes on the inside. I feel like that's not a safe thing to do anymore but it was so normal when I was a kid

Wish I could write an essay on Joel's drawer but instead I'll just say I love that Sarah is comfortable enough at home to just, go into her dad's room and grab stuff from his dresser, and know Joel won't be mad about it :) healthy home relationship

I wonder if the knife has any crazy significance? I don't remember seeing that knife ever again, unless it's just foreshadowing to Ellie's knife

I swear, them constantly avoiding baked goods is so genius (no pancakes, no cake, no biscuits, they don't eat the cookies later, it's small and clever)

Joel throwing Sarah under the bus like that to the neighbours had both me and mum cackling

Joel "no smoking in the truck" Miller

The desert storm detail is an interesting addition to Tommy's character, and at this stage, it's open whether this is about Joel or Tommy since we don't know who's truck it is (just because Tommy is driving doesn't mean it's his, after all, Joel has a garage)

The details in the school are fun, but idk if that's a normal American school thing to have pictures of the presidents and founding father up or not, I honestly will assume it is since there's also a big ass USA flag in the corner

THE PAPERMATE INKJOY PEN!!! I USED TO HAVE THOSE!!! Damn the small details are so fucking popping

This part is wonderful - where the fuck did they source that many different and fun clocks from and where can I get them?

"20." "That's it?" "Okay, 30." "20's good."

The build up is fantastic, it works for fans and for newcomers alike - all these things like the police all day and other things previously mentioned, the lady ushering her out as quickly as possible, all the people that were outside eating and enjoying the food stands are suddenly gone and the street is silent

The whole Jesus spiel, good lord, feels very Texas in the 2000s (and still tbh, let's be real)

Sarah's face when Mrs Adler says "raisin" is SUCH a fat mood my god this kid is funny

Nanna no 💀 (that fucking grandma is FREAKY as FUCK, outstanding detail)

Mercy knows. Animals always know.

Thank god Joel forgot the cake

Pedros funny little facial expression absolutely kill me, adds such dimension to Joel as a father

Super satisfying to hear the game dialogue ngl, especially that funny little bit with the watch

It's so interesting to see Joel has always struggled with his emotions and verbalising them - the small "thank you", not looking at her, rather looking down at the watch itself, fiddling with it - he's trying but he's never been good with feelings

Joel SNATCHING that dvd like, damn son, it's not going anywhere 😭😂 it's cute to see him so excited about it though, Sarah knows what he likes, even if she's not interested in it at all

The instant sofa snuggle :')

"Don't fall asleep." "Of course I won't, it's too riveting." *Cuts to Sarah fast asleep*

The phone 💀 I remember us having a phone like that, whole ass protection sleeve and all

This extra detail of Joel having to bail Tommy out just adds so much more depth to the dynamic and I'm here for it, also explains why the fuck Joel wasn't in the house at 2am (that always bothered me a bit about the game)

Joel loves his daughter so much,,,, the gentle way he puts her in bed, shoes and all, covering her up with her blanket, little kiss on the head,,,,, I'm already in pain for what's to come

Mercy my sweet baby <3 what a good dog, so scared :(

The show really captured that out of sync feeling when something like this happens - nothing crazy yet, just utter confusion and mild panic creeping in because this isn't normal but nothing seems to be happening yet

Mercy said "peace ✌️ I'm out"

This girl is braver than me, I wouldn't have walked through the door - but that being said I haven't had close neighbours like this in years so maybe it's just that they're very close and she feels comfortable doing so

Oh that's fucked UP dude, Sarah downright walking into cannibal town that's so disturbing (fantastic acting and special effects all around)

The cordyceps special effects are so fucking visceral and disgusting, that out of the mouth?? Grim!! Love how they did this

Love the amount of game dialogue and referencing we get in this particular part - "You take 71-" "71, I know.", the whole car conversation, "That's Jimmy's place" (I know in the game Jimmy is the neighbour and it's Louis'farm that's on fire but the reference stands), most of the camera work being fixed on Sarah or from Sarah's perspective in the back, "They got a kid Joel." "So do we, keep driving. Somebody else'll come along.", just a fucking well done scene tbh

This whole part in the car from Sarah's POV absolutely invokes the same anxiety I felt when playing this bit of the game, totally made me feel like I'm in the truck with them and it's scary (scary good)

I was so thrown off by the fact that they avoided the car crash that I wasn't expecting the alternative that they chose instead 💀 like shit??? A whole ass plane??? Love that they did the eerie music to black thing though that was great

Nico honestly just stole my whole heart as Sarah she got all the fucking expressions down, the panic, the way she talks, the pained sounds, love it 10/10 casting imo

The instant reaction time on Joel and getting Sarah out of the way of that car was NUTS like, I rewatched that part multiple times just to see how quickly he switched them around goddamn

Pedro and Nico are a fantastic father daughter duo 👌

Joel pushing Sarah's head under his chin more so she doesn't look 🥺

The infected actors are fucking amazing, terrifying dedication to the role

Oh no I'm about to cry so hard guys

Sarah 😭😭😭 her whimpers make me so fucking upset this scene is so fucking sad

On a genuine note, Nico did an outstanding job of channeling the desperation from the game, and so did Pedro and Gabriel - Tommy's choked up "Joel" and look of utter defeat and grief is absolutely heartbreaking

Joel holding his dead daughter in his arms, rocking her like a baby, crying out for her to please please be okay...... Yeah

The set for the front of the Boston QZ 🙌

It's so telling that the first thing we see FEDRA do is lie to a child and kill her when they promised she was gonna be okay. They promised they were gonna feed her and get her toys, and that the medicine would help her. They told her that she was safe. And they killed her.

Having Joel be the one to throw her into the fire, holding her the same way he held Sarah, was such poignant choice - how a man can change over 20 years

The Boston details - the set itself, the extras, the shoelaces for ration cards, the covering up of the firefly logo, the sheer amount of FEDRA guards everywhere

Ah yes, the return of public hangings, my favourite 🫠

Interesting to see Joel "smuggler and dealer" Miller, something we didn't get much of in the game tbh

Tess <3

Robert is so slimy eugh

I love that we get to see more of Tess outside of her and Joel, it builds more of a picture of who she is besides just Joel's smuggle partner - also love the amazing bruise makeup they did for her, looks super real and painful

The fireflies actively causing mayhem in the QZ is also a great added detail! We see it a bit in game but I enjoy the constant references to it as well

Bella as Ellie is god tier damn they're so good - snarky as FUCK

Joel just, skipping the fucking line without giving a shit, no one stopping him

"When I'm sleeping, Gabriela listens, or my son. The smart one, not the other one, god bless him." 💀😂😭

I love that Joel has a secret stash in his apartment

Ah yes, drugs and alcohol, the remedy to all

The watch 😭

Liking the music and camera usage in this scene, makes me feel like I'm high myself

Tess just coming in, scooting Joel over in bed and being the big spoon 🙌 the tender way in which she slides her arm over his waist and he grabs her hand in his 😭

The jarring cut to it being day and him lying down alone, pheww

The way Joel is instantly awake and ready to fucking go when he sees Tess' face 🫠

Enjoy how we get Tess saying how absolutely terrified Robert is of Joel, that he needs to take a breath and go slow, but reassures him she still wants to fuck him up - Tess is handling Joel like an spooked animal, gently and with care

Marlene's casting is fantastic 👌 - JUST CLOCKED THAT THE REASON WHY I FELT THAT IMMEDIATELY IS BECAUSE MERLE VOICED MARLENE IN GAME, NO WONDER I INSTANTLY FELT SHE WAS RIGHT!! I recognised her voice without clocking it

I enjoy the changes made to Marlene from the game, she feels more real here, more brutal, this is a rebellion leader who is aware shit isn't going well, it's refreshing - we're seeing more of the inner workings of the firefly situation in Boston

I think it's cute that they still have shitty bars and stuff, humans desire connection and community so much they'll make the best out of whatever they got

"You tell me to 'look for the light' and I'll break your jaw." SLAY LOL

This insight into Ellie's treatment and her relationship with Marlene is really interesting - it's more context which I always enjoy

"You my fucking mom or something?" "Do I look like your mom?" "Nooo, you do not." 😂

First Riley mention, time to feel sad!

With more thought, the "he's here" is probably about Robert! Didn't think much on that before

Detail notice - love how hair and makeup department did Tess and Joel's graying hairs, it looks really good and natural. I read some comments ages ago that Joel's hair is too silver in some spots, but I raise to you my mum in defence, who went grey quite early (she started in her late 30s) and has beautiful silver highlights naturally between the darker hairs. If my mum ever finds out I've posted that online, she'll probably kill me, but then she shouldn't have genetically given me her terrible eyesight 😌 consider it retaliation

The wall body is so grotesque and beautiful, it reminds me a bit of Annihilation (if you haven't seen that movie, I recommend! Fantastic music and visual effects)

*Joel rambles about the building structure* "This has been 'Construction Corner' with Joel Miller." got me creasing lmao they're so snarky and funny

Man I wonder wtf happened, like, did Robert try to scam them so bad they had a shootout?? Crazy

"So this is who Robert screwed us over with? The Che Guevara of Boston?" tells me everything I need to know about Marlene

The shootout stance oooooohhsggsg

Kim and her missing ear 💀

I like the way they get the Ellie job in the show, it works really well

"Really? That fast?" crying lmao

There's clearly more history between Tommy, Marlene and Joel and I know it's because Tommy was a firefly but man what I wouldn't give for a series on the 20 years between this and 2003!!! I'd play a whole game of that!!! I wanna know what happened, in detail!!

Something that bothers me: they're soaked, their shoes are squelching, yet the floor is bone dry after they walk in 😭

I love how smart and inquisitive Ellie is, all the small things she notices and picks up on

Love the same dialogue but different way of delivering it from the game, refreshing as fuck

Ellie's a sassy little shit ain't she (I love her)

I find it constantly funny that cars and shit are still used after 20 years because y'all, gasoline has a shelf life of like 3-6 months and diesel about a year if they're stored correctly with stabilisers, so, why are vehicles used so much?? Where are they getting their gasoline from?? Yes I am aware you can make bio-gas out of plants but it's a complicated process and do you really think FEDRA is out here with greenhouses for gasoline? No me neither

Tess is actually so fucking lovely in regards to Ellie, like, mom mode detected - also love how it's Tess that takes the lead

I can feel my own back protesting at seeing them squat walk, yikes

Ellie gripping Tess' hand for support 😭💕

Joel's flashback due to the light - him beating that guy to fucking death because he's already lost one daughter to a soldier before, and he may not even like Ellie yet but he'll be damned if he lets another little girl die at the barrel of a gun like that

Ellie's face, like she wants to be scared of Joel but shit, that guy just killed a FEDRA soldier to protect her and you can see the admiration in her eyes, but the fear is there too

The radio at the end - we know Bill and Frank aren't alright but at this stage we don't know what exactly that means

The final shot of the iconic towers at the end, an infected screaming on the roof - fucking poetry

If you made it to the end, thanks for reading!! It's literally just my running thought process whilst watching!! Do you agree with some of my notes, was there anything you noticed that i didn't? Comments and reblogs welcome <3

Episode 2 thoughts:

Episode 3 thoughts:

#tlou #tlou hbo #the last of us #joel miller #joel the last of us #pedro pascal #ellie williams #ellie the last of us #bella ramsey #episode 1 #episode thoughts #ramblings

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dropintomanga · 11 months ago

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Do You Revisit to Heal?

When it comes to a new year, everyone's talking about doing new things and resolutions to become better. But what if revisiting stuff can actually help you a lot more?

I was inspired by two posts I read - Japan Powered's The Value of (Re)watching and (Re)reading and Use Your Damn Skills' "Comfort TV and trauma recovery". The first post talked about how it's okay to look at past stories you were interested in back in the day. There may be times where you might cringe, but you might get a better appreciation of what that story meant for you at the time. The second post focused on how adults who grew up feeling neglected as kids turned to and rewatch comfort TV a lot to escape whatever trauma they were going through.

On the subject of rereading and rewatching, I've been thinking a lot about revisiting Gintama and Fullmetal Alchemist. Both are considered two of the top most popular manga ever by Japanese audiences. Both series have amazing characters and stories that resonate with readers. I remember a great deal of lines and moments from FMA and Gintama. Even back then, I re-watched and/or re-read those two series to a great degree. Nothing else mattered.

Compared to now, where there's so much manga released, I sometimes wonder because of the amount of manga out there, nothing seems to stick in my head as much. Although I love current hits like Chainsaw Man, there's nothing about them (yet) that brings out a sense of emotional catharsis that I feel compared to when I read something older like Fullmetal Alchemist. Or should I say, most manga haven't hit me as hard. I nowadays get that from video games.

But when I think about it, I'm a different person back then compared to now. While I think it's a good thing, you can lose something during the process.

I want to now address "comfort TV and trauma recovery." I've used anime and manga to "escape" depression. I've also used them as outlets to process feelings that I never told people at the time. I think the beauty of revisiting your favorite series is that everything is predictable when out in the real world, not everything sadly goes your way.

I sometimes wonder if I'm doing this with playing K-Pop songs over and over again. They take me back to a place where I know for certain that I'll be feeling great. Those songs take me back to my younger years when I wanted to be a DJ and blast music at parties with no drama. People piss me off and while I'm able to resolve interpersonal situations at times, I just feel mentally fatigued and sometimes scared over how some people behave. What if my emotional wounds led me to get sucked into fandom in the first place?

There's a lot of value to revisit things you liked back then. Every work has lessons to learn. Every story reminds us of how human we are. We need other people to share stories in order to feel that we matter in the grand scale of things. You also might learn something new when you revisit a story due to your own changes in perspective.

I'm always looking back into my memories as a hardcore fan when I was a teen to young adult. It's been fun. I realized how grateful I am to be able to experience those joys even when they weren't accepted as they are now. Maybe I didn't have as many friends to share those interests with at the time, but I know being involved in fan interests helped slowly shape the way I wanted to view life and act around people.

I hope it's the same for you guys. No one should shame you for revisiting older works. What's important is they help you feel alive and make certain parts of life worth revisiting years down the road.

#mental health #manga #fandom #revisiting works #emotional wounds #rereading #rewatching

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deardisdain · 3 months ago

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I'm just gonna put a sad rant about the n*il g*iman stuff here because on main is too much....

this Neil Gaiman shit has hit me so hard I'm so shocked at how hard it has hit me honestly considering how relatively easy it was for me to divest from certain other authors.

Maybe it's different because this is someone I've interacted with and who's work has meant so much to me as a child AND adult. my first article I wrote for my old job was about good omens. I went on my first date to see stardust. when I was 17, Ng tweeted me a good luck for my English exam after I asked him in a long shot. the first podcast ep deah and I made was about good omens. my first HD at uni was for an essay about American Gods. I've had plans to get the line, "you don't pass or fail at being a person dear" from oateotl tattooed on my arm for years because reading that has saved me so many times. I say it to myself once a week without fail! literally, the day I lost my job last year I just sat and watched good omens all the way through so I wouldn't [redacted] myself.

there really isn't a part of my life that guy's work hasn't touched because it meant SO much to me. and now it feels like all that joy and comfort and memories and work is tainted and I can't even talk about how much that fucking hurts without sounding like an asshole or without people being like "oh well whatever" or "I knew he was blah blah" and "well it was never THAT good" and it must be so fucking nice to be able to do that. It must be so fucking nice. I'll just never be able feel safe engaging with the stories that stopped me from killing myself or be proud of the hours upon hours of work I've done in relation to Neil Gaiman's works ever again but sure!!!!!! fucking sure!!!! I'm so fucking angry I'm fucking rabid I hope he burns in hell I truly do with all my heart and i have only respect and wishes for peace for the survivors.

But i'm literally crying as I write this I'm so upset genuinely. I think it didn't feel like this with jkr because I really had grown out of hp by that point and it's not comparable to joss whedon either because of the medium. A novelist is their work whereas a tv writer is one cog. There's no way to save any of it for my own sanity. Not my work or my memories or my joy. It's all ruined and I am so embarrassed and bereft and selfishly heartbroken. I'm so tired of investing so much of myself into things only to be made to feel like shit!!!! I'll get over it I know but fucking hell.

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secret-diary-of-an-fa · 1 year ago

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Doctor Who: The Giggle Review- A Whole Glorious Hour of Literally Perfect Television

Warning: Spoilers Ahead

In my previous two Who reviews, I argued that- regardless of the increasing quality of the show- cancellation would still, ultimately, be a kindness. I said this as a fan, because I was aware that the world Doctor Who was built for and the world we presently have are so wildly different that, ultimately, the off-kilter, quintessentially British spirit of the show would have to be traded away to maintain long-term viability. In the wake of The Giggle, I find myself forced to reevaluate this opinion. You see, The Giggle isn’t just a really, really good piece of television- it’s also a blueprint for the series going forward. In this story, showrunner and script-writer Russel T. Davies seems to have hit on a new-but-familiar identity for Doctor Who that can continue to work in the modern world without sacrificing the elements that made it good to begin with.

It would be hard to overstate how fucking great this episode is. Let me see if I can put it into words. I was fourteen years old when Doctor Who came back from its decades-long hiatus and reappeared on the BBC, fronted by the inimitable Christopher Ecclestone. I used to watch those early episodes perched, very literally, on the edge of my seat, my legs trembling involuntarily, ready to run- as though if I sprinted fast enough, I could catch up to the Doctor and enter that world of wild, uncontrolled imagination; that infinity of time and space. That feeling continued throughout David Tennant’s first run as the Doctor, but eventually began to decay. I chalked this down to getting older. After all, nobody watches anything at 20 or 30 the way they watched it when they were 14. I just had to accept that the ageing process had robbed me of my ability to uncritically enjoy something that had meant so much to me in my formative years. And then The Giggle happened, and suddenly I’m 14 again, glued to my chair and grinning like an idiot.

It’s not that The Giggle turned off my critical and analytical faculties by appealing to the nostalgia centres of my brain. It’s too fresh and inventive to pull that cheap trick. Rather, it’s that it’s so joyous and energising that it taps directly into the same part of my psyche that the early episodes did in 2005 while also being so well thought-through and meticulously realised that my capacity for analysis and critique enhanced rather than marred my enjoyment. In my review for Wild Blue Yonder, I commented that it’s harder for TV episodes with a lot of superfluous ideas, characters and concepts to juggle them all successfully- almost like there’s only so much quality to go around and it gets spread too thin. This makes The Giggle particularly impressive. There’s a ton of stuff going on here, but it’s all handled with equal panache and genuine verve. The Giggle makes the juggling of elements feel completely effortless. Spoilers ahead, but I think it’s important to list, out of context, some of the things that happen in The Giggle that left me bewildered, gobsmacked and delighted all at once. And yes, I laughed out loud at many of these, braying like a complete fucking cretin from the sheer, infectious joie de vive of it.

Rhyming murder puppets.

A shop folds itself into a toy-box just to mess with the Doctor and Donna.

The Celestial Toymaker interrupts the plot to deliver a full-on, showstopping musical number.

“It’s alright. I’ve given the moles a force-field.”

A sexy black alien with no trousers whacks a time machine with a croquet mallet so hard that gives birth to another time machine in a slightly different shade of blue.

Grandma’s Footsteps with a motherfucking death-laser.

The fate of the world is resolved with a game of catch.

“I love you. Get out.”

Two chill dudes set fire to a dummy in order to invent television. All the more hilarious because this isn’t a ‘Doctor Who Thing’- this actually happened.

Neil Patrick Harris’ cardistry is on fleek, and- as a magician- I appreciate that.

Oh Sweet Baby Cthulhu the accents! The accents!

Donna Noble has the balls.

You know, I could probably go on, but I won’t. I think that’s honestly enough to be getting on with, and this review does kinda need to end eventually. The point I’m trying to make is that there’s a tremendous amount of silliness and cleverness and inventiveness on display here and it all feels very Doctor Who-y.

Now, if I were a proper reviewer, I’d deal with the meat and potatoes of making a TV show. But honestly, what can I say that isn’t blindingly obvious? Of course David Tennant and Catherine Tate’s acting is spectacular- they’re good actors. Of course the rest of their cast pull their weight- most of them are old hands. Of course the script is well-crafted- I’ve already praised it. Of course the special effects are excellent- this isn’t the bloody Star Beast (hey! I think I just worked out where all that Disney money went!). Basically, everything is well-assembled and you could have figured that out for yourself because I wouldn’t be praising the episode at all otherwise. I will say that Neil Patrick Harris’ Celestial Toymaker is one of the most amazing performances I’ve ever seen. The dude’s having so much fun it’s infectious. I don’t mean to suggest he’s the best actor in the world or anything quite so grand- I just mean that he’s ideally fitted for the role and it’s a treat to see. Other than that, I think we can forgo the painfully obvious gushing over the acting.

It’s probably more relevant to discuss whether The Giggle does the job it sets out to do. And, frankly, it sets out to do a lot of jobs. Its a send-off for David Tennant’s take on the Doctor, an introduction to Ncuti Gatwa’s take, a long-overdue attempt to mend the bridges fucking Chibnall burned during his time as showrunner, a showcase for everything that’s good about Doctor Who, an attempt to expand the Whoniverse in lasting, meaningful ways and an attempt to establish a new identity for the programme that cleaves to the original without depending on it. I mean, that’s a fuck-load of stuff, so it would kind of be unfair to demand that it pulls it all off. Well, the good news is that I don’t have to demand shit, because it just does. Like, completely fucking unprompted. I didn’t have to yell or whack its knuckles with a ruler or anything.

As a send-off for Tenant, it works by… well, by not being a send-off. Russel T. Davies is a gay man whose formative years were the eighties, with the AIDs crisis running rampant and disproportionately effecting his community and demographic. In the early 2000s, when he had to write and manage Tenant’s first run, he still hadn’t entirely come to terms with that (or so the speculation goes), which is why the Doctor’s regeneration from Tenant to Matt Smith was so traumatic- to paraphrase a fellow fan on the issue, Russ just didn’t believe in happy endings. Tenant’s 10th Doctor ‘dies’ (for want of a better term) sad and desperate, clinging to an identity that’s about to be washed away. This time around, we get something called ‘Bi-Generation’, which allows the Doctor to split himself in two, so that his current and next identity can co-exist simultaneously. He gets to hand over the mantle and task of being the Doctor, without giving up who he is. In fact, he gets to go and live with Donna and her family and basically become everyone’s favourite uncle while Gatwa’s Doctor flies off to continue being the main character. And it’s perfect. It’s not a painful, wrenching goodbye, but a fond farewell- a reward for services rendered that doesn’t just keep a fan-favourite on hand for future shenanigans but allows the show to evolve without symbolically erasing a beloved part of its history. It’s made all the more lovely by the fact that it clearly signifies Russel T. Davies going through some kind of internal resolution and coming to terms with something we humble viewers can only guess at. He’s made room in his life for the possibility of happiness- or so it seems- and it’s reflected in his work. It’s nice when real people have arcs.

As an introduction to Gatwa’s 15th Doctor, The Giggle doesn’t do a bad job either. Instead of a few pitiful seconds of screen-time at the end of the episode (which is traditional for hot new Regenerations), Gatwa gets to act properly alongside his predecessor for a little bit and feel out the role. His delivery of the lines is mostly solid, barring a few moments of awkwardness, but- in fairness- he’s being asked to act against a fuckload of green-screen FX in no trousers for one of the most iconic programmes and roles on British telly. The fact he does as well as he does first time out is impressive. You can tell he has the talent to carry off the role (this isn’t another Whitaker situation, thank fuck)- it’s just going to take him a full episode or two to hit his stride, which is fine. But that’s the actor. The character of the 15th Doctor… well, let’s just say I feel like the TARDIS is in safe hands. Fifteen is over the top, bombastic, a tiny bit queer-coded (in a fun way, not a virtue-signalling way), refreshingly silly and absolutely full of heart. Yeah. I could get used to this guy. The fact that he’s the first black Doctor is also handled way, way better than Whitaker being the first female Doctor. With Whitaker, we got a fucking awful, unearned straight-to-camera speech about how change can be scary but how it’s also inevitable and important (or something- after a certain point, I couldn’t hear it over the sound of my own groaning). With Gatwa we get “Do you come in a range of colours?” “Yes.” and that’s it. The show doesn’t want to start a blasted controversy over it or have it be a big deal… so it accomplishes that by not making it a big deal. This kind of light touch, trust-the-audience-to-keep-up approach is refreshing to say the least. And yeah- it does help mend some of those Chibfail/Pisstaker-burned bridges I alluded to earlier.

Speaking of mending burned bridges, I think one of the most important things The Giggle does is low-key kick the shit out of Chibnall’s idiotic changes to canon. It’s accomplished with exactly one line of dialogue, and it’s open to interpretation, but it’s still an olive branch to fans who were flabbergasted by the flagrant disrespect of The Timeless Children and the whole ‘Division’ plot arc in Flux. See, aside from pushing against established canon in a way that insulted those invested therein, those storylines symbolically overrode William Hartnell’s definitive performance as the First Doctor from way back in the 60s, turning his character into just another link in the chain and erasing the in-universe legacy of much-cherished figure (a real person whose importance to the show cannot be overstated), just because he didn’t fit Chibfail’s personal, self-serving vision of who and what the Doctor should be. But, in The Giggle, we learn that the Toymaker “made a jigsaw puzzle” out of the Doctor’s history, low-key implying that, actually, none of this bullshit is canon- it was just a mad bastard with reality-bending powers messing with the Doc for shits and, er, giggles. No pun intended. Fine by me. I also quite liked the way The Giggle used the Toymaker to take aim at the Culture War and cancel culture- on both sides of the divide- because it seemed like a bit of an acknowledgement that the fans hadn’t really come first where creative decision on Who were concerned lately; that it was more about seeming to be on the right ‘side’. The implication here, of course, is that if the bloody Toymaker knows this is bullshit, so does the show and we’ll get episodes that appeal to all the fanbase as a whole rather than episodes that seek to draw battle-lines and divide them. I mean, the bridges Chibnall and Whitaker burned were big, huge, fucking massive bridges and they burned them very, very thoroughly. Doctor Who has a lot of work to do if it wants to bring them back up to code and win fan trust back, but it’s made enormous strides just with The Giggle.

As for serving as a showcase for everything good about Who- yeah: fucking nails it. We’ve got cosmic stakes, quintessentially British snark, loveable daftness, a great fucking bad guy, problems being solved with smarts and charisma rather than guns and violence, high concept sci-fi nonsense by the bucket load and even some creepy as fuck monsters to play with. Plus, with the single line “My legions are coming,” we know that we’re going to get more mileage out of the plot-line. What’s not to love?

So yes: The Giggle is worth every tiny scrap of hype that surrounds it. It really is the episode to revitalise Doctor Who. Yes, RTD and friends still have to stick the landing- they still have to keep up a consistent quality with upcoming episodes and not backslide to fucking Star Beast level- but, if they can do all that, the show should be good for awhile. Yes, it will still have to stop eventually, but that moment is no longer imminent. With the right management and succession of showrunners, we could get another decade out of this. Doctor Who could actually outlast the Culture Wars that make it so hard to do good sci-fi, regardless of which side of the political spectrum your story falls on. Wouldn’t that be nice? To know that, in the end, the winner of that tawdry fucking bum-fight wasn’t one side or the other, but a genuinely lovely and well-meaning little British sci-fi show. And all that, because one episode- one fucking episode- was able to undo years of crap. Not bad for a single hour of Saturday evening telly.

#secret diary of a fat admirer #doctor who #tenth doctor #fourteenth doctor #fifteenth doctor #David Tenant #ncuti gatwa #Dr Who #The Giggle #doctor who 60th anniversary #The Toymaker #The Celestial Toymaker

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 1 year ago

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Chortle headlines roundup, anyone?

Nope. Nope nope nope nope nope. We're not doing this. Jeremy Hardy went in his late 50s, Paul Sinha's health is deteriorating, if we lose Mark Steel before his time then they'll have to just cancel Radio 4. Not doing that. Fuck that shit. He's only 63, that's younger than my parents. Absolutely not.

...The article does say the condition is treatable and he'll likely be okay after a while, so that's good. It also has some on-brand quotes from him that muse on mortality. Good man. We are not losing that one yet.

(Obviously... not to make a serious issue all about me and other lovers of Radio 4 or anything... I wish a speedy recovery and the best for him and his family and all that.)

I wasn't sure I was going to watch season 3 of this - not that seasons 1 or 2 were bad, but season 2 didn't keep my attention all that well (except when Joe Wilkinson and Jessica Hynes were on), I figured I get the idea and don't really need to see a lot more. But actually, that's quite a good lineup. Roisin Conaty is always funny. Add in Alan Davies, Guz Khan, and Chris McCausland - and yeah, I'll probably give Knockoff Taskmaster a watch again.

You know, I wondered about then when I watched the French and Saunders show. The constant fat jokes about Dawn French seemed okay because she was one of the writers, she was choosing to say it about herself, that makes it okay the same way it is when Jo Brand does it. But still, there really were a lot of them. And obviously comedians are pressured to make any feature about themselves into a USP, so just because she agreed to do the jokes doesn't mean she always wanted to. That show was funny, it's a pity to see this.

(Obligatory note that the headline, like most headlines, is a bit sensationalized, these Chortle headline round-ups are meant to be partly a joke about how the headlines don't really tell you anything and just throw a bunch of disparate facts in your face all at once, and you should really read the articles if you want to know stuff. But the information in the headline is basically accurate.)

The Aussies are coming! The Aussies are coming! With their excessive Rs after vowels and their mildly racist names for coolers!

(I briefly misread the Sam Campbell article's description as calling him a "Taskmaster winner", and had a split second of believing Chortle had somehow made a colossal blunder and accidentally posted a huge spoiler that made me very pleased.)

If they make that, I'll probably watch it. I might watch some of the Irish one because Aisling Bea and Catherine Bohart, even though the worst fucking person in the world is also on it.

I did watch the first two episodes of the Canadian one. Have I admitted that on here yet? It wasn't my finest hour - and it was just one hour, two episodes - when I watched reality TV on Amazon Prime. But Mae Martin was in it. Mae Martin was in it looking focused and intense as they tried not to laugh and for personal reasons I just had to see that. Then (spoiler alert, I guess) they were out after two episodes, so I didn't watch any further.

I have to admit I rather enjoyed it, though. The rest of the cast was also funny. It had Jon Lajoie, guy who made a bunch of funny videos when I was in high school that my friends and I used to quote all the time, then didn't make anything for like 12 years, then came back in 2020 with this absolute earworm that hit the perfect note of what we needed in early pandemic days:

youtube

Anyway, he was on the Canadian LOL show, and he was pretty entertaining. Also Colin Mochrie from Who's Line, which I used to watch as a kid. Tom Green, quite a good stand-up comedian who went to my high school (not at the same time or anything, he's much older than me, he's just the only famous person who ever went to my high school). K Trevor Wilson, aka Squirrly Dan from Letterkenny. Andrew Phung from Kim's Convenience. It was fun seeing the mishmash of Canadian comedy people from all these different things in one room. I guess would be less of a novelty in the UK, since we don't have panel shows here.

And I've got to admit, when I forced the judgmental "there is no logical reason why this is a higher form of entertainment than any other shit reality TV" part of my brain to turn off, I found the format pretty funny. I'd watch Irish people do that. I'd watch British people do it. I mean, I didn't love it enough to finish the show after Mae was gone. But I might go back to it at some point.

Still doing that, are we? Going with the cheeky term "peeing Tom" for men who spy on naked women without their consent? I don't object to Hugh Dennis playing the role obviously, they're not going to portray that as a guy we're supposed to like. Just not sure I love Chortle's word choice.

That's good. Put your minds at ease, people who are worried that Jim Davidson isn't mentoring aspiring comedians. Everything's okay.

I was about to say "Steve, what the fuck would you consider a 5-star show then?", but then I remembered that to be fair to Steve Bennett, the quality of this show does vary wildly depending what night you see it and who's in the audience. Don't turn up to this and derail it with heckles, everyone, even though you're allowed. The show in its proper form is brilliant.

I tried to ignore this one, I really did. But I'm sorry, that's too funny a headline not to include here. Sorry, Johnny. Bad luck.

#Youtube

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memetaped · 2 years ago

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the amazing world of gumball taken from the tv show.

you were trying to emotionally blackmail me into buying you something?

in just three sentences, you proved that i don’t want to know everything.

you know, the man. the man who tells you what to do.

right, you’re lying. i’m coming home now.

it’s the gateway to rock n’ roll, which is the root of all evil.

because someone has to look after your safety, kid.

that’s not the pizza cutter! that’s the dvd!

you need your brain to touch your skull in order to pass out.

you see, sometimes in life, you really have to face the consequences of your actions. and sometimes you just RUN!

it’s only a wasp sting. just gonna suck the poison out.

and that’s why you should never mix pop rocks and soda.

cursing is unsafe. words can hurt.

thank goodness you didn’t stick around to hear that. it’s like my brain got emotional food poisoning and the nearest exit was my mouth.

welcome to punch town. population: you.

that was exactly hard enough to hurt as much as possible without knocking me out.

well, i don’t care what you say. i’m doing it anyway.

the symptoms are regular headaches, stress, facepalming, and an abnormal amount of shouting. it’s called family, and i’m afraid there’s no cure.

you can’t de-hug a person. once you hit the hug level you gotta stay there.

i don’t know. i went too far with the metaphor and lost the plot myself.

that’s it, i’ve had it with your alternative new age nonsense. it started boring and now it’s painful.

you can make anything with cardboard, and no one will notice the difference.

now if you’ll excuse me, i just need to pass out as well.

it’s in these completely normal moments that horror chooses to strike.

can we skip the nonsense part and get to the end, please?

there’s other ways to get stuff without spending money.

actually, that’s really smart. i don’t know why i’m belittling your advice.

no, this isn’t a trashy eighties cop show. this is quality subscription television mysteriously mumbly southern detective.

i think the right thing to do is flail our arms and scream in panic.

actually, that was a little too extreme, but i’ll give you eight out of ten.

but before i go, i just want to say one last thing. thank you for being a friend.

“no need to make a fuss” is a thing people say, but they obviously don’t mean it. it’s all in the subtext.

you’re talking out of your backside, dude.

If i saw that, i’d throw away my eyes, because nothing else in the world will be worth watching anymore.

well, like i’ve always said, when the potato chips are down, the hash come out to brown.

whoops, did i say that out loud? sorry, it was meant to be internal monologue.

that’s it, laugh at me but at least i’m not a mindless zombie going through life doing what they tell me to.

#tv tag.#rp meme #rp sentence meme #askbox meme

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itcamefromthetoybox · 2 years ago

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Action Master Galvatron

Back in the 1980’s, Hasbro’s Transformers toy designs and how they looked in the cartoon and comics didn’t always match up. Sometimes, this would be as drastic as Ironhide, where the figure didn’t even have a head, or Bumblebee, who didn’t have a mouth. And sometimes it would be like Galvatron, where the colors were just wildly different. The thing is, lately, Galvatron’s toy colors have been making a comeback, so when I saw this figure, I wanted to take a look and see how the colors hold up! So this week, we’re looking at “Transformers ReAction Figure Galvatron G1 Retro!”

Once upon a time, Hasbro decided they needed to make more money and that the best way to do that was to clean the slate of their Transformers cast to bring in new characters to sell to kids. So, they put out an animated movie and traumatized kids all over the world by graphically killing almost all their favorite characters from the hit cartoon and by having Optimus Prime die in a hospital bed, surrounded by the new guys and the very few of his friends who were still alive. …Yeah, this went over with kids and parents as well as you would expect. Megatron, meanwhile, had a slightly different fate: A giant space-monster-robot shaped like a planet “transformed” him (See what I did there? My English degree at work.) into the mighty Galvatron, who would be the main villain of season 3 of the original cartoon and would go down in history as the most psychotic Decepticon of all.

The ReAction Figures are a line of retro-styled toys created by Super7, a company known for retro-style toys and generally fun nerd stuff. The figures are meant to emulate the toys of the 1970’s-80’s, and include just a massive amount of stuff. He-Man, The Simpsons, Terminator, Big Trouble In Little China, and even heavy metal band mascots are just a few of the many, many franchises you can find in the ReAction line.

The way the line approaches Transformers is pretty interesting. Since the figures aren’t able to transform, the toys are instead incredibly faithful recreations of the animation character models, with the exception of Unicorn, who is based off an unreleased figure. This actually has precedent in Transformers; in the 1980’s, Hasbro did a line called “Action Masters,” which were Transformers that didn’t transform and instead came with transforming accessories, resulting in a higher level of show accuracy. The ReAction Transformers don’t come with the accessories, but the lack of the need to turn into something means that the toy makers can put more effort towards recreating the character from the TV screen.

Galvatron’s sculpt is an almost exact replica of his TV appearance, which looks really great. The one real exception is that his arm-mounted gun is mounted at an angle, and that’s due to the laws of physics necessitating that compromise to keep the gun looking good without clipping into his arm, Color-wise, he’s very different from the usual all-purple Galvatron. Like I said earlier, these are the colors of the original Galvatron toy, but they’re applied to Galvatron’s character model. Personally, I love these colors on him. They go together well, making for a striking figure, and make me really see this guy as an upgraded Megatron. The translucent barrel of his gun’s a really nice touch, as well. It’s clear a lot of work went into this paint job. My one complaint, though, is Galvatron’s face.

How do you know he’s an improvement from Megatron? He actually killed Starscream.

The dark grey used for his face makes it hard to make out the sculpting on it, though there is sculpting, and the dark red of his eyes makes his eyes blend into his face. I have to hold him up to my eyes to even make out any details.

Galvatron shares the same articulation as most ReAction figures: his arms swivel up and down, his legs move, and his head turns. Nothing too dynamic. There are a few things to watch out for. His shoulder pieces actually block his arms from a full 360 motion, though that’s not something that would really come up much in play, and you need to be careful how you grip his head to turn it so you don’t bend his horns.

Galvatron! With the power to shake his fist in rage!

Galvatron comes with no accessories, and this is very much a good thing. His hands are solid, with no way to hold anything, so any accessories he did come with would have to be set aside. It does irk me a bit, honestly, because I would have liked him to be able to hold something, and I feel this limits him a bit.

Just gonna sit here and chill.

“Reaction Figure Galvatron G1 Retro” stands at about 3.75 inches, which makes his $18 price tag, the standard price for ReAction figures, hurt. He’s a Target exclusive and is very much a collector’s item, with his packaging recommending him for ages 14+. I feel that his limited articulation and inability to transform mean that he’s a collectable best suited for people who display their toys on shelves or in the packaging, since he can’t pose or hold anything. Would I recommend him? Honestly, while I do really like him as a collectable, that price tag really irks me. I just can’t recommend him for that price. Wait until he’s on sale or you have a gift card. This is JS signing off and wishing you Happy Toy Hunting!

#transformers #galvatron #reaction figures #toy #toys #review #toy review #reviews #transformers toys

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mcrmadness · 2 years ago

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Watching educational videos about film making for 3 days in a row has resulted in my watching a tv series and occasionally going "oh so they're using the ZOOM here to emphasize the emotions :oooo" or "ah they're filming the characters from a low angle - normally it emphasizes them being powerful but here it just means they're looking at downhill".

Like. Yes. Exactly why I am watching these videos. But I would also appreciate it if my brain would remember these when I am planning MY videos or video projects for school! But for some reason I don't remember even anything they told us at school. I only remember the stuff about technology, not the actual creative process or mood different angles or lighting and stuff can bring into the video.

I think I also need to focus more in the whole concept of this... I think it's "Freytag's pyramid" in English. In Finnish it's known as "the curve of drama". Basically it's just the main frames of a plot and how a plot of any story or media should go in order for the idea to be interesting for the viewer. And I have such hard time grabbing on this concept. I cannot really compare this to anything I have seen, I can't see where's the complication or climax or anything in a work. I feel like I get excited by things that are not meant to be those to get excited over. I feel that I enjoy more of plots that are complex and don't follow this in the exact manner, also plots that are difficult to understand and need you to rewatch the movie at least 2-3 times before it opens to you fully.

I can't review my own writing or videos and compare it to this pyramid, I don't think I have any of the elements there. It's either rollercoaster or a straight line. And I don't know how to even add those? Mostly because: I often don't even want to. It's cliché to always have a plot have this same frame, it's boring to me. But maybe that is why people have a hard time grabbing on my creations cos they are bizarre and might not make sense for others than me, or maybe they feel like they lack something because I have my own way of writing my stories. Maybe one of my newest might slightly follow this pyramid, I'm not sure, but it definitely was not intentional if so. It just happened on its own.

This is, also, a problem of someone who is self-learnt. Maybe this Freytag's pyramid is kinda similar to musicians who make music but have never studied music and don't know the music theory, but just do what they like and for some people it slaps and it's what matters. Kinda feeling this with my drawings because despite being to art school as a hobby as a kid, and having art classes in regular school, I don't remember ever actually studying arts and drawing. It hit me just last or previous year that wait, you can actually study arts and drawing. It was such uncanny thought that had never crossed my mind before??? I just learnt to draw on my own, using my own methord, making sketches in ways I came up with cos I didn't know about anything else. I still don't draw human heads with circles and lines. I find it confusing. My comic book characters start with shapes only to make it easier to see the size of the finished piece so I know it fits the paper. My photorealism starts with me just drawing the outlines without making any helping lines apart from the grid. I just find the regular way of drawing humans, difficult. I did try one way to do that a while back but nothing really came from it. I still don't know how to use that in drawing and just do that how I used to do with my art.

So in a way when we learn about all this at school, I kinda have these... mixed feelings over what we are taught. We are taught about technical stuff, but I'm someone who likes to break the norms. I like to add weird stuff, add easter eggs, do things that feel obvious to me but maybe not for the viewer. There was once scene in a group video where the camera shakes a lot, and teacher mentioned about it that it didn't look that good, so we pointed out it was on purpose because the person in the video talks about challenges in the studies. Handling the camera is one of the challenges and we decided it fits it well cos it just shows the challenged on the video, just not in the hands of the person who was talking. Altho the teacher didn't say it's bad, but that it's understandable and an artistic choice. So things like these, I like doing stuff like this and I think they are often considered unprofessional or bad or plain unskilled, when I have made a conscious choice to do something that looks very unskilled even when I'd have the skill to either make it invisible (such as cut the shaky camera bits when editing a video) or to not do it in the first place (such as drawing straight lines without the line looking shaky, but I just happen to like the shaky-looking lines that give a more relaxed mood). But I can understand that it can be difficult to sometimes tell apart it when someone's just unprofessional and/untalented (or just in need of more practice), and when something was an artistic, conscious choice. And the latter definitely usually has a smaller audience, but often a very loyal audience. I think Tim Burton is a good example here, since I also am a fan of his works but I also know he has quite a lot of haters, too. And for what? No idea.

#mcrmadness' art talk #madness rambles about school

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catblgog · 2 months ago

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Topic: Wings (week 2)

Research

Found an interesting tumblr post I had saved before (link here). Not gonna detail every moment of it here but I liked the idea that an echo could be an angel. What else could be an angel? I read an article on radar angels too. Then I found some random articles on jstor that weren't too helpful. And I tried to find things that could be angels but just got weird boring stuff. The intelligent slime was a cool find though. And I looked at poems on the poetry foundation. And I tried to figure out why people liked flying / dreamed about flying but it was weirdly speculative and was all worded like it was lying to me. Quote on the desire to fly-- "I think flying like a bird represents freedom for us. It’s a freedom of movement which lies only in our imagination." (link to source). There's more notes and details on a Google Doc of notes I have as well.

Reflection on research

Yeah I guess it was fine. I just followed some random rabbit holes. I somehow feel less sure of what my topic might be now though. I liked writing the short story because it was kind of silly, but I also at the same time I didn't like writing it because I had this feeling like I was doing a bad job. And it feels so much shorter for the time it took to write.

Make a thing

Short Story (journal entry format)

May 11th

It’s been about 3 months since The Blink and only 2 months since my 12th birthday. It was 3AM on February 3rd for me, so I was asleep and my eyes were shut. But for the people who were awake and looking around, when they opened their eyes, everyone on earth had a set of wings. It felt like a bad dream when I first woke up, but then I figured out it meant I didn’t have to go to school that day or go to basketball practice with Mary, who I really hate, so it turned out to be a good dream very quickly. It only lasted a week though, once all the people who were scared realized it wasn’t going away and all the people who were excited figured out if they could fly or not. And then everyone had to go back to work so that means I had to go back to school too. For some people it was really easy to fly, like Trey who’s in my class. He lives down my street and was out flying all day long every day until school started again. Now he can’t fly as much and when I see him in the lunchroom he looks sad. But sometimes I see him in the sky at dawn. I always liked to get up early so I could smell the early morning air and watch TV when I shouldn’t be and now I can see Trey flying too. He does really big loops and looks like he was born to be there. My mom doesn’t like when I go flying because she thinks I’ll get lost or kidnapped, but I can still go anyway sometimes because Kim invites me. She’s one year older and lives on the other side of my neighborhood and my mom thinks it’s safer with her. My mom also makes me promise that we won’t fly over the ocean in case I fall in and drown, but I think that if I fall on water or land it won’t make a difference because no matter where I fall I’ll get hurt anyway. She doesn’t like when I say that very much, but she didn’t ever even try to fly so I don’t think she understands. But neither of us read all the news stories of all the ways people are getting hurt flying like my dad does, so maybe I don’t understand either. But flying is a lot more fun than riding penny boards with Kim to the mall because we can go really fast without worrying about hitting a rock or a crack in the sidewalk.

June 20th

The other day I saw that the scientists were saying that since the blink, humans don't dream more about flying any more than they used to. And I never dreamed about flying before, and I still don’t now, so maybe they’re right about that. For a long time I thought I was going to get more flying dreams because I kept seeing this one new dumb Dove advertisement where they’re trying to sell a wing deodorant spray. Maybe it’s my own fault for using my summer vacation for watching TV. Kim and I can hang out a lot more now since there’s no school and I think a lot of kids are like us are using their wings to go places too because we never used to see anyone at the mall when we went last year but now there’s a lot. The mall also got a new flight goggle store and a bubble tea place. The goggles are nice because they don’t fall off like sunglasses and can even stop bugs from being in your eyes. The bubble tea drinks are only ok but we still like to get them because they’re sweet and we’re bored. The other day Kim didn’t finish her drink before we left so she tried to bring it with us in the air and we almost got all the way back to my house before she accidentally dropped it on Mr. McMackin’s red truck and it spilled everywhere. I thought it was the funniest thing ever, but I didn’t laugh at all because Mr. McMackin was there and he was not very happy and we had to apologize a lot. I don’t ever see Trey at the mall. I only see him in the early morning when he leaves his house. I think maybe if he had a good friend like Kim he wouldn’t have to be flying alone all the time.

Sept. 8th

School started again and that means I got to play soccer again because it’s the fall and I don’t get to see Kim as much because it all makes me busy. It’s weird trying to run around with wings but everyone else on my team thinks it’s weird too. We can see the younger kids practicing on the field next to us and I wonder if they think it’s weird because what if they don’t remember life before wings? And I can’t ask them because there’s never a good time to go over and ask since we’re all flapping around playing soccer. I didn’t see Trey in my classes or in the lunchroom yet, and since school started I haven’t seen him flying in the mornings either. I think he might have become one of the “flyaways” where all these kids become runaways because it’s a lot easier since they don’t need a car or train ticket or anything to leave and get far away from home. I don’t think I’d want to fly away because I like hanging out with Kim and my parents and I want to go on an exchange program when I get to high school. But I think maybe Trey will be happier as a flyway. I think I will remember watching the dawn sunlight dancing on his wings and golden hair for a long time.

#research notes

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geminiamethyst · 3 months ago

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Skyline Gang: Sky Crystal. Chapter 1: A New Discovery

Prologue: click HERE

Chapter 2: click HERE

It had been a few months since the Sceptre of Darkness was destroyed. Months since Dawn had been destroyed for good. It was turning into autumn now. Less visitors would come, the schools now welcoming back their students from the summer break. The green leaves started to slowly shift to a light orange. The wind went from refreshingly cool to bitterly cold. It was honestly a little refreshing for the seasons to change, especially after the last minute heatwave that ravaged the land. Days showed signs of becoming shorter, the sky becoming darker the closer it got to nighttime. The flowers slowly started to lose their petals, withering away to give way for the oncoming frost that was soon to come. Mist lingered longer than usual and the morning dew was more prominent. Birds have slowly started to migrate to warmer climates. Squirrels squabble over food and territory as they started their winter preparations.

The Skyline Gang similarly started their own preparations for the colder months. Dude (much against his will) needed to prepare everything related to finances and other major work related stuff. How the board members decided that he, a teenager, should do it all on his own is a mystery. They refused to help when he asked for it. Thankfully, Bud had volunteered to help and both of them were able to handle it smoothly. Everything else went as normal for the most part. Shows went on as normal, Pip’s arts and crafts spot remained to be popular, and the sensory room was well taken care of. The only thing that was different was the infrequent number of guests that would visit. Everyday felt different.

Nevertheless, everyone remained busy. So when the Skyline closed for the evenings, the Gang would just relax at home and not worry about much of anything. Just chill, eat a home cooked meal (or delivery meal depending on their collective fatigue), watch a movie or some TV and sleep. Things would circle around smoothly like clockwork.

One night, after one of these infrequent days, the Gang had settled down for an early start the next morning. Rainbow was curled up in his bed, occasionally kicking or licking his lips as he dreamed of chasing juicy bones. Misty, who was usually a night owl, had gone to sleep pretty fast. It was unusual for her, but it wasn’t unwelcome. Just meant a peaceful night for everybody. Bud had fallen asleep to the comforting clicks and whits of his robots before they went into power down at midnight. Candi snuggled into her mountain of plushies after feeling uncomfortable. The plushness helped to lull her to sleep after hours of tossing and turning uselessly. Pip had fallen asleep to humming her own music that she had made drafts of, trying to get a better fix on the melody. Mimi had drifted off to her dreamland, humming occasionally in bliss with a smile. Sprout had fallen asleep in one of the most awkward looking positions known to man, but he was seemingly comfortable like that. Dude had been pretty much knocked out the moment his head hit the pillow. It had been a draining day, one of many more to come, so sleep was gratefully welcomed.

However, it didn’t last the whole night.

Overtime, Dude had gotten sensitive to his surroundings as he slept. It made him a borderline light sleeper. It was rare for him to wake up unless a particular noise or even a presence disturbs him. Heck, there was one time when he felt someone sneaking in his room and caught Misty attempting to plant something in his desk. She didn’t after being caught thank goodness, but Dude almost woke up everyone because he had a burst of fight or flight response kicking in. Needless to say, she hadn’t tried again since. For now at least. So when Dude felt something in his room this time around, he almost opened his eyes completely. He turned toward it, getting ready to scold or hear out whoever this person was that came to his room. A blue light met his eyes. That wasn’t his. Did someone light up his room? Groggily, he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes.

“What the-?!” He exclaimed before quickly shutting himself up. With how light of sleepers Pip and Candi usually are, he didn’t want to risk waking them up. Before him stood someone bathed in a faint blue light. He was semi transparent, clearly showing that he wasn’t exactly alive. Dark hair that had been dipped dyed with azure blue shaped his face. He was wearing the blue dungarees and white shirt that Dude wore on a daily basis, with make up exactly like how his is done. The place where Dude’s name would be was blank, but Dude didn’t need a nameplate to tell him who this was.

“You…you’re the leader of the Skyline Gang…the one before us I mean. Danny, right? I thought that you were gone…” Dude said, proving it be futile in keeping the sorrow away. The ghost, Danny stared at him blankly. It was as if he wasn’t able to convey any emotion. It was truly quite eerie. Honestly Dude felt like he should be scared by a ghost just suddenly being in his room but he felt safe. He knows this ghost, he and the others aside from Misty had seen him before. It was during that encounter with Dawn that almost got them killed. Danny then showed up at the last second, seemingly protecting them. Then when Dawn had been defeated, he was thought to have moved on like his friends.

Danny just stared at Dude a little longer. It was quite unnerving of how his silence and lack of movement made the room seem frozen in time. If he was trying to catch Dude’s attention, he sure got it. Suddenly he started moving, walking towards the door.

“Wait! Where are you going?” Dude asked, still trying to keep his voice to a minimum. Danny didn’t listen, or maybe he couldn’t hear, because he just proceeded to phase through the door. “Hey! Wait for me!” Dude rushed to grab a blue hoodie and some slip on trainers that he had bought for his morning runs. Danny’s light was fading downstairs by time Dude got out of his room. The ghost was heading to the front door. Dude pondered getting the others, but with how quick Danny seemed to move, Dude was worried that he might lose the spectre. Especially considering how some of them, more particularly Sprout, were almost impossible to wake up at the best of times. Cautiously, he crept down the staircase, avoiding all the loud floorboards that he could. Rainbow was at the bottom of the stairs. He had sensed that something was different tonight, so naturally he was woken up by it. When he spotted the ghost, he was just as anxious as Dude was. Danny phased through the door again, not bothering to wait for Dude to catch up.

Hurriedly grabbing his keys, Dude followed, with Rainbow glued to his side. Dude shivered from the brisk cold of the air. He pulled his hoodie tighter around him, briefly wondering if he should grab a coat instead. However, Danny just continued walking. Was he unaware of what was going on behind him? Gritting his teeth, Dude continued to follow, opting to do a small jog to help him warm up. He envied Rainbow for having such a thick coat to keep him warm, even if it is a pain to maintain during the hot summer. Shaking off those thoughts, Dude realised that they were heading towards the pavilion. Did Danny want to show him something? What was Danny even doing back? Why weren’t his friends with him as well?

“Hang on. I need to grab my-” Dude spoke up as they approached the doors. As much as he didn’t want to admit it, he often found locking up the Skyline a little creepy. A bright place during the day, but hauntingly silent and dark. Danny didn’t seem to react. Rather as Dude fumbled with his pocket, the door before them opened and the lights inside the pavilion lightened up. “…key? How did you do that? Wait!”

Danny continued to be ignorant to Dude and Rainbow being behind him. No look or word. Could he even talk? This was different from the warmth that everyone had experienced from last time they saw this ghost.

“Look I get it! You can’t talk to me!” Dude shouted, his voice bouncing around the pavilion. “But can you at least nod or shake your head when I ask you something?” This really was starting to get frustrating. If Danny needed to show Dude something, then at least wait and allow him to grab his friends. At least Rainbow was by him. It wasn’t exactly the same thing though. Just again, why was it only Danny that came back? None of this was making many sense. Dude and Rainbow continued to follow Danny, with Dude occasionally thinking if he should send Rainbow to go wake up the others. Probably something that he should’ve done at the beginning. Too late for regrets now.

Danny suddenly phased through another door. A rather familiar one. He knew this area. This was where the Skyline Gang’s old bedrooms are located up a flight of stairs. Before they had the house, before Misty arrived, this is where the Gang used to sleep. Now that they had the house, they rarely use those bedrooms. Dude often wondered if the others had forgotten about them. He also wondered if Misty had one too, recalling the spare bedroom that wasn’t allocated for himself or the others.

Dude watched Danny for a moment, expecting him to go upstairs. However, instead, Danny was feeling along one of the walls. He wasn’t phasing through it this time. Danny’s hand was solid, the sound of skin stroking the wall being extremely faint. Suddenly he stopped, as if he had found what he was looking for. It was like something out of a movie or TV show. There was a small click and the wall opened up like a door. Was that always there?

“Okay…secret passageways. This had better not be another Orb of Ra trope or something.” Dude thought out loud, earning a grumble and head shake from Rainbow. Danny started stepping forward again. This time, Dude wasn’t letting him go any further if he can help it. “Wait!”

Dude ran ahead of Danny, ending up standing on a flight of stairs. After stepping on a few steps, he turned to face Danny. Danny looked shocked, as if he were snapped out of a trance. Finally a reaction that Dude wanted form his voice and actions.

“Before we go any further, answer me this: is there anything dangerous down there?” Dude asked, refusing to budge. Even if Danny passed through him, he’ll just keep attempting to cut off the path until he got some answers. Thankfully he didn’t have to do that. Danny, with a hint of amusement twinkling in his eyes, shook his head. “Okay, we’re getting somewhere. Next question: did you do something to get us chosen?”

Danny seemed a bit conflicted for a moment. Did he have something to do with it? It would be nice to have some answers about that. After all, one minute Dude and his friends were at the lowest points in their lives, all of them complete strangers. Then the next minute they wake up in a strange place that was seemingly rules over by some dictator that acted like a catalyst for the events put in motion. Danny opened his mouth in an attempt to speak, but nothing came out. He really can’t speak after all. Danny then raised his hand, giving a so-so gesture.

“So-so? But you are partially responsible for it?” Dude continued to ask. He was hoping for more, but he’ll take what he can get. At least Danny is being honest with him right now. Satisfaction washing over him, Dude stepped aside. Danny continued his path, brushing past Dude with a sense of warmth in the air. Rainbow whined a little bit, as if he didn’t want to go down wherever the stairs were leading to. Dude looked back at him. He gestured for Rainbow to wait there if he was scared. However, as Dude continued his decent, he heard Rainbow slowly creeping down the stairs behind him. The air felt electric as they continued their journey downwards, almost all hairs standing on end. If it became more static, then Rainbow would end up like more of a walking fluff-ball than he already does. There was a faint glow at the bottom of the stairs where Danny had stopped to wait. Finally he decided to stop and wait. Maybe Dude stopping in front of him brought back a little bit of common sense or something along those lines. Once Dude and Rainbow reached the bottom of the metal staircase, Danny continued his strolling. He started walking along a catwalk being held above something. The light that can be seen pulsated under the catwalk, changing colours with each beat. The air now felt warmer, more welcoming from the cold outside, like a soft blanket. However there was something in the air that made it feel a little tense. It was something that Dude wasn’t sure if he should trust it or not. When Danny stopped and beckoned Dude to come take a look. The need for answers outweighed any caution that Dude had.

As Dude looked at the scene before him, he felt like he was in some kind of fantasy book or film. It was a mighty space, seemingly only half of the size of the pavilion above. Occupying the space, at least twice as big as the Skyline Gang’s house, garden included, was a crystal. There was no need for extra lighting, as the light from the crystal was more than enough. It continued to pulsate gently, changing colours each time. Dude looked above at the ceiling. No concrete or any other industrial support. He could make out some roots and even smell fresh earth. Aside from the metal catwalk hanging about the crystal, it was like being in a natural cave.

How could something like this be hidden under the park for who knows how long with no one even knowing about it? Danny knew about it though. Was that through his ghost? Or was it something that he knew about while he was still in the land of the living?

“Whoa! That’s…” Dude gasped softly, feeling a huge loss of words. He couldn’t describe the sight below him. He then observed the crystal more, he noticed a pattern in the pulsations. Something quite familiar. “Wait…that’s…it’s glowing like a heartbeat…”

But why was there a heartbeat? That’s impossible! No crystal should be able do that. Unless…

“The Skyline isn’t just a location. It’s alive. You didn’t choose us. It did.” Dude concluded, looking towards where Danny stood. However, all there was there now was a blank space. No ghost or body to be seen. Did Danny slip away somewhere? “Hey! Where did you go?”

“Dude?” Rainbow whimpered, tail tucking between his legs a little. Dude looked around a little more, hoping to see Danny again. Nothing. Maybe he’s moved on for good now that he’s shown Dude this big secret. He should be more at peace now. Hopefully.

“Let’s go, boy. We need to tell the others.” Dude finally sighed, becoming exhausted. Should he tell the others tonight? He can name a few of them that might be very upset at him for waking them up. Tomorrow morning then. However, as Dude started to walk away, something happened. There was this pull on him. It was so quick and sudden that he barely had enough time to grab onto the railing. “Hey!”

“Dude!” Rainbow barked, not knowing what was happening. He isn’t experiencing the same pulling as Dude is right now. Dude pushed back against the force that gripped him. It was like playing tug-o-war, expect his body was the rope. His arms shook as his muscles burned from the strain. He tried to use his feet as a pair of anchors until they slipped out from under him. His body was then flipped over, like those old toys where the clown or monkey would do the same. He gripped onto the railing even tighter. This thing that gripped him didn’t seem to like that like that. It was like it gave one more tug as Dude lost his grip. He fell for a few centimetres until he felt the cuff of his sleeve being grappled by teeth. Rainbow had slipped his head past the railing and grabbed onto Dude as tight as his jaws could manage.

“Rainbow!” Dude cried out. Rainbow tried to pull, his teeth starting to make holes in the sleeve. His paws desperately pushed against the force. However, whatever it was that had gripped Dude was much, much stronger. Dude started to hear fabric being ripped. Rainbow couldn’t hold on for much longer. “Get the others!”

Just as he feared, the sleeve of his hoodie ripped. Rainbow was launched backwards, hitting the railing behind him. As the canine was stunned, Dude was falling. His body was flipping backwards from the momentum of gravity, the kaleidoscope of colour and speed making him nauseous. Before everything went black, Dude could faintly hear Rainbow’s frantic barking.

#skyline gang #skyline gang butlins #skyline gang fanfic

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