#turns out that Chip is actually a natural & is killing it on the course

[dazeymazey]

[ id: a comic featuring three object-head characters - Chip, who is tall & dark-skinned with a cardboard box head, Aloe, who is shorter and curvy with light brown skin & a lava lamp head, and Petra, who is tall and fat with brown skin and a cactus head. a golf ball is struck by a club, and lands straight into the water. the three of them stand in silence in the direction of the ball, Petra in the foreground with a wide-eyed expression. Aloe says "Wow. That's the seventh ball you've drowned." Petra scratches their face and says, "Seven, huh.. too bad that's not the name of the game." Aloe jokes "You'd be a pro by now." and Chip chimes in, signing "Totally unmatched." with a smile. Off-screen, Petra light-heartedly responds "Stooop!". end id ]

[maxwell-grant]

The Penguin: Episode 8 "Great or Little Thing" Series Finale Breakdown

So first and foremost I need to give a shout-out to everyone who's been following this with me and helped me week after week process and articulate this show, this brilliant Penguin Braintrust without which I would be incredibly lost on how to even begin breaking this thing down this way: @davidmann95, @wil4x, @book--wyrm and my friend Lucas who is not on Tumblr.

And so we're here at last, in the end of the show. This took forever. I need a goddamn break. This isn't enough and will never be enough but it'll have to do. So let's get to the episode that has had the world joining hands in the unanimous urge to see the absolute shit kicked out of Oswald, and has made the character at last earn this:

(Episode 1) (Episode 2) (Episode 3) (Episode 4) (Episode 5) (Episode 6) (Episode 7)

So who would have guessed that cartoon dirtbag Rex Calabrese was still gonna turn out to be less of a cartoon dirtbag than Oz the moment we stop seeing him through Oz's eyes. Still a terrible person by every metric, but terrible in the same way a lot of Sopranos characters are terrible: this is, at the end of the day, a job, and you can talk to them, you can sit at a table to get down to business with them, and you probably know people in your life like them, and maybe you can even count of them to get real and even help you when the chips are down, even if it doesn't mitigate everything else that they are or do. At the very end, he was neither the benevolent god-king that Oz saw him as, nor was he the absurd dirtbag gangster we had him pegged as - there was never anything exceptional about Rex Calabrese, he's just a real criminal. Maybe the realest in the show.

I said in the last post that Francis burned with hate at everyone in the world except the person who most ruined her life and haha WOW was I wrong, because it turns she's known the entire goddamn time, and quite possibly no one has ever hated him more than Francis.

Most people in the show who hate Oz do so because he's a destructive bastard who craps on their lives directly, or because he's a lying sneaky fuck who does nothing while their lives are ruined, and Francis has had to deal with both longer than anyone else. I can't possibly count every single way this wildly recontextualizes every single interaction, every moment, everything that Francis has shown us and done since the first episode, because I'd have to recap EVERY scene and line of dialogue she has and we still have so much else to get through.

Why was Francis was so effectively able to withhold affection and hold his feet to the fire and give him that bottomless pit of yearning in his stomach that's driven him to move mountains in pursuit of it? Because Francis wouldn't have loved him even if he gave her the entire world at age 12. She never had any affection or love left for him. Oz was always chasing nothing.

And all along it was Rex who shaped the entire course of Oswald's life, as well as prefiguring his dynamic with Victor, with a single conversation. Oswald spend his childhood wanting for Rex Calabrese to notice and like him and be his friend, and he has no idea how much Rex actually affected his life.

That fateful night at Monroe's was never the feel-good story about his Ma summoning the willpower to live by dancing away the grief, and it was never even just the night of the eternal promise that Oz thinks back to, it was a fucking trap to kill Oz. Nothing he has in his life is real, nothing he says is true, he has never not lived in complete total delusion.

The sheer disgust in Deirdre O'Connell's face at the "I do too". How much of her personality we completely understand was born from this absolute resentment she's nursed for decades towards Oz.

And this rotten little turd comes at her with a perfect speech that hits her every insecurity and bitterness and spite and situation and convinces her to give him another chance. The nature versus nurture thing again - Oswald was shaped by hardship, by decades of hard work and neglect, by the total absence of his mother's love while in turn being forced to live in stunted childhood dedicating himself to always taking care of her, and maybe what we're seeing here is heavily distorted by Francis's POV - or maybe he was always a little monster, because this guy talking to her is The Penguin, the same guy doing the same things in the same way, either way it doesn't matter. Again, born fucking ready.

So now we see our three major supporting characters - Sofia, Victor and Francis - all of them have shown that they had a chance to walk away from Oz, to not let him ruin their lives further. All of them could have left Oswald behind, and all of them should have left Oswald behind, but they had to come back and justify the choice to do so, they had to get satisfaction, it couldn't have been for nothing. Victor had his car and a girlfriend in a bus waiting for him, Sofia had a jet to take her to Italy, and Francis had Rex Calabrese ready and waiting to put him down without a word. All of them had a chance to get out of the show and never look back, but like Oz, they had to rectify and overcorrect for an insult.

Sofia can't walk away from Gotham without punishing Oz for turning her in, for killing Alberto and further lying to her, she can't accept that this man, this embodiment of Carmine's legacy and hold over her, is still out there unpunished getting away with what he's done. Victor can't walk away from Gotham knowing that his parents did everything right and still died for nothing, that every hurtful thing Oz said was right, he can't let "They don't give out awards for dying in the projects" be the last word in his and their lives. And Francis can't walk away from Oz, who killed her two sons and keeps lying about it, who ruined her life and now keeps promising he will take care of her and acting like everything will be fine, she can't let this pass even if she can't kill him either, and so she'll make him give her the world and die trying.

The tragedy of what happened is what hurt/broke them - the added insult of what Oz said or did is what they just can't live with. It can't be for nothing.

Goddamnit it, it was really just too telegraphed for it to not happen the way it did.

I fucking knew it the moment the episode started and we got the grungy boss orchestral take on the funny Penguin chords that we were in for some calamitous shit.

We see at first that, in spite of seemingly failing, Vic has graduated to the point he can give his own speeches, gain his own allies, run his own cons - he's not just Oz's proxy, but will manage to convince the others to become such as well, and he's coming at this from a place of complete sincere belief in everything that Oz says, all of the man of the people rhetoric he will so thoroughly pervert and then sell to the people actually responsible for everything he told Victor he was fighting against.

Zeke walks up to him nearly crying about how Sofia blew it all up and Vic instantly asks back where's Oz - not because he doesn't care about Crown Point, but he's already processed it and has already learned with Oz how to just barrel forward regardless, now it's time to get to work. Victor who so readily throws himself into rescuing Oz again and again. Victor who's lost everything - he doesn't have his family, he doesn't have Graciela, he doesn't have the other mobs backing him up, and right now he doesn't even have Crown Point anymore, all he has is Oz.

The man in red who reads the Law Gave him three weeks of life, Three little weeks in which to heal His soul of his soul's strife, And cleanse from every blot of blood The hand that held the knife - The Ballad of Reading Gaol

Sofia dressed in two thematically appropriate outfits - the red scarf echoing both the first outfit we see her in, back to covering her neck but in control of her own collar, and the outfit we see her the farthest back in time with at the start of Episode 4, and with her final crimson fur coat outfit accompanying her final greatest triumph and ultimate defeat in the show. Not only that, but in this episode she also gets to perform characteristically appropriate stylized torture - holding a family intervention and therapy session with mafioso torture tactics to try and wrench the truth out of her victimizer, enacting calculated sadistic yet righteous justice via psychological breakdown, and ultimately allowing the woman he victimized and wronged to take her killshot at him.

See, it's not just that Sofia Gigante is a Batman Villain, or that she's well passed the threshold of supervillain. Cristin Milioti doesn't play Sofia like she's a new character, which she basically is, and she isn't just playing a tortured gangster lady protagonist dipping into camp villain territory, which she also is - she plays Sofia Gigante like she's been a Batman Rogues headliner for decades now stepping into the spotlight once again, like she's the dark modern revamp of someone Adam West would have thought and she's just always been around showing up in stuff along with The Penguin, like she's only not fighting or teaming up with Two-Face in this because he's not here yet. It is crucially important that Sofia passes every standard of Batman Villain imaginable with flying colors, in part because it helps to reinforce that The Penguin is a monster all his own.

Even here, with as much power as she's ever possibly held over him, reduced him to a whimpering begging mess to be killed off in a second, she is so shocked at the sheer brazen selfishness and delusion and level of bullshit on display, that even now he won't break character and think about his actions and admit to what he's done not even to save his own mother from mutilation, that she just loses the script entirely. Her entire show of power collapses and she physically recoils from sheer disgust at just how low Oswald is, at just how much he lacks the ability to even suffer for what he's done. Realizing that there is simply not enough of a soul in this filthy beast to even torture, and that however much she hates Oswald for ruining her life, someone had a prior claim all along.

Eve - Sofia - Francis in the end united in, however much they may dislike each other, however different their circumstances may be, there is nothing they could possibly do to each other that would be worse than what Oswald has done to all of them, joined in silent agreement that their rage ultimately belongs in a bullet fired at Oz's head and that they deserve their kill shot at this man.

"I had enough to give, Oswald".

This really is gonna be the high point of Francis's life from this point on.

Aw man, I liked Sofia's scruffy dirtbag detective, I wanted him to stick around as one of the reocurring characters like the movie cops

Oh Victor, sweet kind Victor, you couldn't possibly ask for anything worse in the entire world.

Oz feebly already beginning to lie and spin his new version of the events, that Sofia stabbed him and fucked up with Ma, and here comes Victor with the reversal of their dynamic, seeing this guy who's been brought low by the oppressive force looming over his life that he must defeat (because all that Victor knows about Sofia at this point is that she used to be Oz's boss and is now out to kill them, that she is scary as hell, and regardless of whether or not she was the Hangman, she just bombed his fucking neighborhood) and reaching out to him with a speech about solidarity and dignity and self-worth and picking yourself up by your fucking bootstraps to save the day. And Oz responds by coaching him on how to be a better bullshitter. Because to Oz, he knows the playbook by heart, but Victor meant it all.

Victor rebuilds Oz from basically nothing by providing him with the validation that he so desperately always craved and never got, saying all the things he always wanted to hear, poised so they can finish this together, poised to give him not only the army he asked for, but a full-blown revolution, and he never once asks for anything in return. Just, goddamnit this isn't hurting any less.

"She, sh-she'll never look at me again, all right?....unless I get this done. Got a promise to keep." Maybe the one and only time his mask ever fully cracks. For a second. He rebuilds it right back up and gets to work, but it cracked. He knows what he's doing, up until the moment he doesn't. It's that simple.

A lot of what drives Oz is acceptance, and a lot of what drives him is his desire to be accepted in worlds that have been declared, by how they run themselves and by the people that inhabit these worlds, as worlds that he was never going to be included in. And one of those worlds is the hierarchy and the hoi polloi of the political realm and the power within the political realm because he understands that all politics are corrupt essentially, and the damage that he could do then in being part of a political infrastructure of Gotham interests him. I thought it would be nice if, in that time jump, he had been invited to maybe a gala or two, you know what I mean? It'd be awkward. He'd be slurping out of the fucking teacup, there'd be stains on the table, he wouldn't really fit in, but he’d fucking love being there. - Colin Farrell

Mirroring the scene in Episode 01 where he adjusts himself next to the car, scuffing himself up to look like the sleazy funnyman the Falcones keep around for kicks, now he's dressing up as much as he can and asking Victor for input, because he truly values what the kid thinks and, goddamnit.

"C'mahn, I don't bite", pfft yeah, not in this movie universe anyway. And to the same guy you did the nose-gushing-blood bit to, even.

Minutes inside of City Hall and he already parks his ass right on Bella Real's seat - not as any kind of intentional slight against her, it's just naturally where he goes to, even before the scene ends and we see his new plans start to come to fruition.

Guy who takes offense at Viti calling Sofia a psycho and then goes up to Councilman Hady talking about the unhinged loony bin broad who went "full psycho" that he's handing to him on a platter, pointedly calling her Falcone.

At first I thought it was funny that Sal Maroni was getting blamed here for Bliss and the underground lab, but then I remembered that he was actually the one who introduced Drops to Gotham and the whole epidemic that became, so if anything it is an extremely easy part of the story to sell, even without his body being down there and all.

"You're gonna have some trouble, Oz" - pointedly smiling and calling him Oz instead of Oswald as he had up to this point, because by that point he's already a crony and already willing to work with this guy handing him all these miracles.

"You wanna be welcome? You gotta look, clean" Yes Father Pal, I Shall Become A Capitalist Caricature

You can see in the walk around, in his look at Bella Real and the mayor's office high up above and the steps, how little Ozzie's gears turn once again and rebuild his life after losing the streets and everything that happened with Ma - This is the next nest, this is the next throne, this is next schmuck I gotta cozy up to, this is the next boss looking down on me that I gotta destroy, there's the reward waiting for me if I do. This is the one that matters, I did everything in the shit and now I'm gonna get me sum goddamn respeck, Feh Ma of course.

And before all of this we see Sofia's next move, showing the ways in which she is good at this, the ways in which she truly is something outside of the worldview of what these gangsters are used to, and why she is going to lose. "Because I can". She is good at commanding a room and promising rewards beyond the wildest dreams of these street crimelords because she can offer everything they want and lose nothing she cares about for it, she will hand them everything and dip because she can, and she is going to lose because she can lose. Because she still thinks there is an end in sight for her, she thinks she will get to walk away from this universe and go meet a happy ending at a cafe in Florence.

It's not just that Sofia was born into privilege and never really lived in Gotham and could just hop onto a plane out of here anytime, it's also that she has room in her life for introspection, self-awareness, consideration towards others, and all those things that come easier when you're "born full", and not when you're the starving hustler for whom leaving the city was never an option even if he had all the money in the world, the hungry animal who wants this, wants everything, harder than anyone has ever wanted anything. The guy who has no room for anything else in his brain other than a perpetual bullshit generator set to a 24/7 chorus of "I GOTTA WIIIIIIN"

Another element to her that I really love is, she's good at this. She knows she's good at this, she was supposed to take over the family. She may not know the ins and outs of the game as it currently stands, but she is good at this. Some of it is, I think that's the only world she knows, and some of it is there's something in there, that's always been there, and she believes it is rightfully hers. There's an element of, "I need to have made it worth it for something", and if that means power, then okay. - Cristin Milioti

There’s a level for both of them that they enjoy each other’s suffering, and that sort of leads to Sofia’s downfall. If she didn’t need to see Oz suffer she might have been free. And she really gets in her own way in that regard and largely because Oz is this crutch that she just cannot let go of. - Lauren LeFranc

And here we get to the end of season 1 of HBO's The Sofia Show, the bittersweet in hindsight but extremely cathartic torching of the set as a last hard-earned spiritual victory by our hard-done-by lady protagonist. All of her family is dead, the city is out for her blood, she gathered all the remaining criminals for One Last Job with everything on the line, and she is having a very fun time with her montage destroying her home and family name beyond recovery. She is going to finish her character arc, get to finally kill her former comedy sidekick turned mortal nemesis, and hop on a plane to The White Lotus resort straight away into greener (if only marginally less fucked up) genre territory away from this ugly nightmare city. Alas, this is not The Sofia Show, and it's time for her theme suite to catch up to her once again and tell us of how very badly this is all going to go for her.

And she can't even be that shocked, when the high of burning it all down goes away, when she sees that old Ozzie Cobb wriggled his way out of this jam regardless and is now coming at her with a speech, she can't even react to it. Deep down she knows how the rest of the night is going to go. She may not have expected Arkham outright, but she was braced for a loathsome fate.

It rules so much they give him a big fat fight the power speech with a bloody revolution montage, and we can only sit there aghast with Sofia at the sheer audacity of him to act like this, like a man of the people, thinking he truly has the right to be talking like this and to her of all people.

And now we see how Oz won the gang war, and the next domino to fall on the downfall of Gotham City, and the first effect of his own rise to power: like The Riddler, he has toppled the order of things and he has turned people into extensions of himself, Victor being the first and the one who gave him this revolution, of all the little mini Penguins out there devouring the social structure of Gotham crime forever. You kill the boss, you become the boss now. Everyone can bleed and everyone can be killed and everyone must be killed in the quest to the top, no handrails or codes, they wouldn't invite him and so he crashed. After he unified the criminal underdogs, Victor rallied the underdogs beneath the underdogs, and now the streets are a jungle where there will never be an end to the wars over who gets to be atop the food chain, because they are all fighting to see who gets to be the next Penguin.

For decades people have written Oswald Cobblepot as a creep and a sleaze and an incel who hurts/kills women for rejecting him, or who is chronically insecure about them and I can very confidently say nobody ever did anything half as horrible and half as truthful and half as meaningful as LeFranc did here. We see the other reason why it was so imperative to her that Oswald not be a misogynist, and it has nothing to do with just making him more likeable or sympathetic or honorable. We get in this episode the pay off to the thoughtline: okay, he's actually a gangster who respects women, he does not act like every other prestige drama gangster who ever lived, we are going to center women in this show and he will treat them with respect - now let's watch how he HORRIBLY screws them over in the name of this respectful gentleman persona he lives by, let's watch how he betrays them in the ways that matter most, how he even makes them wish they were dead without personally ever lifting a finger to harm them, let's do some grown-up feminist commentary in Batman for a change and highlight the ways in which men profit from belittling and oppressing and destroying women even when they're pointedly not misogynistic and even self-professed genuine allies to them.

And so it is that the only Falcone mobster who isn't misogynistic towards Sofia is the one who screws her the most horribly. He will murder every man he comes across, he will murder every man he could have been and every man who is even marginally better than him in any way, he will push all of his brothers out of the nest and not tolerate any other big shot in town bigger than him and not even the only man, the only person, in town who loves him will be spared. But he is a gentleman, so he leaves the women alive (well, except for Nadia Maroni, but she was a rival big shot and worse, his boss for a day or two, so she obviously had to go eventually).

I thought about his greatest fear, and it made a lot of sense to me that his greatest fear would be that love is transactional. That if he does not achieve a level of power and give Francis certain types of things that he’s promised her she might not love him. And that informs every relationship he has on the show It was always important to me, and this was always part of my initial pitch, that if Oz was to achieve a level of power—and that is something that was not up for discussion, that was my job that I was tasked with for the season—that he has to lose something emotionally. It can’t come without a cost. - Lauren LeFranc

"the crooked politics that have allowed wealthy elites like Sofia Falcone to wreak havoc". Oz has weaponized the status quo against her so throughly that she is going away under the exact same image that she did it the first time, as a privileged serial killer and Falcone. She doesn't even get to have her new name anymore, and the rest of Gotham does not see her as the new and strange and horrific new threat that she embodied in Oz's life - she is going away as just another upper-class monster like her dad.

The triumph that Oswald has fought his entire life for, the Big One that he's scraped and fought and hoped his entire life would happen and he'd get to show his Ma at the end, the thing that he's going to throw a party for at this moment, is just a politician on tv saying things that Oswald claims he told him to say.

All of our 3 major supporting characters will thus reach the high point of their lives, on the moment before it is ripped away and they are destroyed forever. Francis gets to finally spit all of her hatred back to Oz and take her revenge on him, and her babies appear before her alive and unharmed. Sofia gets to burn down her father and his legacy once and for all, and is on her way to kill her nemesis and finally be free of it all. Victor succeeds in helping Oz win, they have revolutionized the gangs and defeated the big bad Falcone and he's done right by his new family what he couldn't do with his old one.

And of course, Oswald finally wins - he is the last man standing, he's defeated his greatest enemy, he is the big shot of Gotham and his victory is, so he claims, right there on the tv for his Ma to see, he can finally get what he's always wanted now - and then he doesn't, and then his soul crumbles, before he finishes the job by murdering his heart.

Oz didn’t need to do that, like it wasn’t actually necessary. In that moment, Victor did not betray him. He did nothing wrong. In fact, the thing that he did “wrong” in Oz’s eyes is that he loves him and that he cares about him and Oz actually cares about Victor. I think by the end Oz sees that as a really big problem because he loves his mother so deeply and Sofia took advantage of that love, and then it became sort of a weakness in his eyes. Victor saw him at his most vulnerable and for Oz to achieve the power that he thinks he needs, he can’t have that level of humanity. He can’t have that heart with him anymore. So he stifles his own heart. He kills it. - Lauren LeFranc

When he said to Vic in the sewer, “They'll tell stories about us one day, kid,” he meant it. At that stage, he actually saw that he could rise and Vic could come with him. It's only when the vulnerability and the shock of his mother being taken from him, and the place of vulnerability and danger that puts him in, that he realizes there's no more love, there's no more affection, there's no one else I'm going to have in my life that can lead me to such vulnerability as my mother has led me to or as this kid could potentially lead me to. - Colin Farrell

He's not relishing being horrible. When he realizes, "Oh God, Victor makes me vulnerable. I can't have that shit anymore." The way that Lauren wrote it, and the way Colin played, there's such sadness under the horror. You're like, oh my God, how fucked up do you have to be that the one person who you feel you have any connection with now, you have to snuff out because it makes you weak. What happened to you? - Matt Reeves

"You think she forgives me?" Once again, the mask cracks. Only around Victor. Only because of Victor. And he can't have that again.

And thus we get to the final parallel between our 3 side characters - that in the end, all they did was serve Oz's own rise to power, and hand him the world in exchange for their lives. All they were to him were additional steps in the ladder that began with his brothers. Francis gave him his life, his drive, his motivation and eternal justification, the insatiable pit in his gut driving him to do this forever. Sofia got him his promotion to Falcone lackey, and then she got him another promotion by handing him the tools with which he could become an underground boss and rally them, and then she got him another promotion by handing him the keys to his political career on a silver platter. And Victor saved his life, more than once. He helped him, provided the justification he has craved for a lifetime, rebuilt him, gave him his revolution, gave him the streets, and showed him the last thing he needed to kill to make it to the top.

Wow man let me tell my good friend, The Family Butcherer, who butchers every family he gets his hands on whether a crime family or a literal one, how much I think of him as family.

"They don't give out awards for dying in the projects"

Just like with Squid, Vic's emotional intelligence dooms him. He sees this man whom is like family to him brought to his lowest point, crushed beyond measure, in what he assumes was just a phenomenally terrible stroke of fate and not something he had any blame whatsoever for, and reaches out to pat him in the back, emotionally reassure him that it wasn't all for nothing, that his family would surely be proud of him, and that there's things to look forward to.

Vic threw away his chance to walk away into the sunset with Graciela and he just had to come back to save Oz (AND Sofia, the one who'd bomb his neighborhood) from the Maronis, the least of all possible evils in his life and his city and who never even noticed him. Victor only narrowly missed out in 2 situations that Oz would have absolutely left him to die in, so there just had to be a third where he'd die in the absolute worst way possible. Not with Sofia's gunshot to the head, not bombed to rubble along with his neighborhood, no, Mr. Carmine 2 had to make it as painful and intimate as possible.

Vic the only Number Two in town who couldn't kill his boss and in fact never even considered doing so, and so he dies - there is just no room for him anymore, not in Oz's life, nor in the new Gotham that the two built together.

LEFRANC: "You see Oz become this next level monster, I remember the take too. Jennifer and I look at each other, Colin transforms his face in this really remarkable way, that I don't think any of us fully anticipated could be achieved in that way." - The Penguin Podcast Episode 8

I knew that the general sentiment was that, by the end, they kind of wanted to, in a way, kill the Oz that we met in the film. I felt that there was a sense of creative responsibility that leaned towards, “We cannot have this man as a likable character,” which is hard I think they wanted that in the earth by the end of the eight hours. They wanted that RIP. That's gone. I hated that scene. I really did. I was fucking so pissed off. It felt in performing it as — guess what? — you would like it to feel in viewing it. It felt gross, it felt cruel, it felt absolutely insane, and it felt like Oz was reaching a point of no return. - Colin Farrell

So the day after I watched this episode, my friend Lucas messaged me in the afternoon sending me audio messages, "Son of a bitch! Son of a bitch! He stole his identity, he didn't even die with his fucking name! They'll never find him! Fuck, goddamnit!" "ELE MORREU COMO INDIGENTE, PORRA" and, yeah. Yeah. That gets to the heart of it.

If Vic was just a guy taking his money, if Vic was purely transactional, if he was just another Link, he'd have made it. Oz wouldn't have given a shit about him, Oz would have died on the sidewalk when the Maronis hit at minimum. All this piece of shit wants is love, and when he gets it, when it's finally non-transactional, from the ONLY person in the entire show who loved him, he has to kill it, he doesn't know how to deal with it, he has to smother his heart.

He has to become Carmine Falcone 2, strangling the poor and vulnerable of Gotham while pinning all of his crimes on Sofia.

Vic just wanted his family back, man. He just wanted a family again, to at least show his family that they didn't die for nothing. The thing that Oz spits in his face as he dies. It wasn't for nothin.

This show has so many dozen little variations of Penguin getting his heart broken and retaliating cruelly, but this one hurts the most partially because it has no basis whatsoever on any pre-existing insult or cruelty, there was nothing that warranted this, and you still get why Oz felt that he had to do it. The lowest, weakest moment of his life, and he can never permit anything like it ever again.

Victor was his heart, and The Penguin remembered that his heart only exists to be broken.

Victor punctures the illusion, and he cannot have that. Everything about The Penguin hinges on that singular fact of his life: he cannot and will not break character. He cannot break character, otherwise he dies, otherwise Gotham City will eat him alive, otherwise he has done it all for nothing. That is the ultimate threat Sofia posed to him, and why his ultimate victory comes only from creating a perfect delusion and spinning everything that happened in service of it. Because all those things said at Monroe's? They weren't true - his Ma, y'know, it was just her disease acting up, that psycho did something to her, she wasn't thinkin straight, and it was really Sofia that stabbed him and did all that fucked up shit, and his Ma is really happy that she got the penthouse in the end and that he didn't put her down, look, she's crying tears of joy even, I gotta keep doing everything for her.

Everything and everyone in his life, he can spin in service of the delusion, they can all play dress-up with him forever, except Victor. Victor may not have the slightest clue as to what Oz actually did, but he's seen too much, he knows he has vulnerabilities, he knows the thing that Oz needs to bury far, far more than all the horrible things he's done. Killing Victor is maybe the one thing that he absolutely cannot in the slightest spin a decent delusion out of, that he did it for him or did it for noble reasons or anything other than out of disgusting self-serving weakness.

But who's Victor? Some kid who died in the projects and didn't even have a name? Someone with nobody left to mourn him, not even a street to get back to, nothing but a guy who's already forgot him?

That Victor Aguilar? Never heard of him

“I will never think my mother doesn't love me. She was having a bad day when she stuck that bottle in me. She was under a lot of pressure. She nearly lost her finger. She stuck a bottle in my belly. It was a bad day. She didn't get a good night's sleep the night before.” It's that kind of thing. He'll make up fucking whatever. He's already lying when he goes, and he's stitching up his belly, and Vic says, “What happened?” And he says, “Sofia, she stuck me with a bottle.” He's already beginning to bury the truth. - Colin Farrell

He needed your love, and then you didn't give it to him, and you didn't obey, and you didn't do those things that he needed, and then you mentally aren't there for him in the way that he needs, but he's got to physically keep you around because he's too weak to not do that. He can't give you the gift that he promised you in Episode Six, he's too weak of a man to do that. And so he needs to hold onto you, but under his terms. - Lauren LeFranc

There's a thing that happened on that last day that made my blood run cold, which was I felt Oz not love me anymore. I felt his coldness, and I think that Francis felt it too, and she always had so much of his attention and so much of his love. I don't even think she realized how much she had until he withdrew it. And when he withdrew it, it was utter and… slightly terrified. I was just lying in that bed, I just felt the love leave the room. It's a real thing, and it's gone, yeah, and I think Francis feels it, too. - Deirdre O'Connell

He's this man who is clawing his way to the top, and I knew he wanted power, but what what does that mean for him? That's where I started to conceive of like, he wants his mother's love, and he wants people's affection. He wants to be revered. That was like the main thrust for me of what defines power for Oz, and then by the end you realize that, when he doesn't get those things, he doesn't get his mother's acceptance, he still gets it. He makes sure he gets it. - Lauren LeFranc

So bowled over and miserable I was that I didn't even notice until later that he was wearing a version of the classic Bronze Age/Triumphant get-up.

If the pattern of his life is unjustifiably cruel retribution for slights and insults, perceived or not, by the end Francis had done it to him as well. That she never loved him and in fact always hated him more than anything and anyone else is the biggest insult of all, and so he punishes her the most cruelly, knowingly or not.

"You are who you are, and you couldn't change if you tried."

He will never stop telling Rex Calabrese stories, he will never stop bringing up his brothers and mom as a sympathy ploy, and even if he will never truly love her again, he will never stop ruining the world in her name, he will never stop, he will never stop, he will never stop.

You had to sit through 8 hours chipping away at all of his fun and charm and wacko comedy antics and motivations and all the scruples and principles that he turns out to have less and less of, until he butchers them all in the very end along with the heart of the show. Penguin burning through all of his lovable quirks and charm, everything that we loved about him in the movie, until he comes through as a black-hearted bastard of unlimited malice who will never stop growing and getting worse and putting more lives in danger. Not only as much of a lowlife backstabber as we initially assumed him to be in the movie, but far worse than what we could have imagined.

I said as much that the first episode marks the transition from The Batman to The Penguin with the titlecard, and this brings it back around. The show dies with Victor, we get Sofia's post-credits Nick Fury Tease with Selina's letter and with Selina's theme playing and a final grace note of hope for Sofia, and thus the only character in the show to end with anything resembling positive, and then we get the first scene of The Batman Part 2. showing us the horrible thing in this world that Batman will have to defeat for us.

RIP Bella Real, we all know this asshole is gonna become mayor, and he's not waiting for the next election.

Credit to @book--wyrm for pointing out one more horrible fucking thing, that at the final dance, his hands are covered in scratches, much like the hands of Carmine Falcone when he comforted Sofia.

“One of the very early things that Lauren pitched was that ending with Eve where she looks like Francis,” said Reeves. “He can’t get what he needed from his mother because she’s no longer in that state because of the dark events and what he’s done, so he recreates it in this other way with Eve, and it’s very disturbing,” said Reeves. “That was something we thought was a great idea and was so emblematic of this guy’s internal state. It’s like, even as he now seems to have gotten that first major step toward being the kingpin, you know that some part of him will never be filled. - Matt Reeves

When I read that, I was like, “Oh my god, we're going full Bates Motel here.” But again, it speaks to what has become a pathological inability to accept the world that he has played such a heavy hand in creating. As far as he's concerned, he's just doing what he needs to do to live the life of a good son. And look, his mother can't talk anymore, so he needs a surrogate. I mean, it would be kept out of the sexual realm — it wasn't about that. It was about the intimacy and the tenderness and the pride that Oz always so deeply needed to feel his mother had for him, and pride in him, that he never really got from her. The one time when he finally can say to her, can go to her bedside and say, “It's done. Everything you said that I was capable of, everything you said that I should aspire to, it's done. I am now the boss. I took it from everyone else.” And he gets nothing back. His mother's already gone. That's just too horrific for him, so he needs a surrogate. He would say to Eve, “Look, I'm grieving. I'm finding it hard to deal with the fact that my mother's alive, but she's not here. She's gone, but she's fully present at the same time, physically, but she's nowhere there. She doesn't recognize me. I don't recognize the woman she's become. Do me a favor. We used to dance together and talk at the end of the night. Would you put on her dress and just let me pretend?” But it was twisted. It was twisted, but I dug it. He needs it from his mom so much. And again, his imagination is so potent that he just cast her as that figure, that most prominent and most powerful figurehead in his life, which has always been his mother. She's got to stay alive. He's got to hear that he did well from her. He's got to hear that she's proud. Look, by the end, he's bananas, as they say in the film. Good cop, batshit cop. At the end, he's batshit. - Colin Farrell

Remember when this show had fun Dolly Parton end credits, remember when this almost looked like it was gonna be fun and light-hearted compared to the movie and The Riddler: Year One

So turns out all along they actually had something real twisted planned with the name Karlo, and the Clayface concept that evokes. Asking his prostitute girlfriend to shapeshift into his crying comatose mom in the room upstairs so he can finally get the dance with her atop the world that he craved his entire life and have her tell him how proud she is that he ruined everything forever.

It is not a good ending, but it is his happy ending. He achieved everything he wanted in the smallest possible amount and at the highest cost imaginable, and thus he burns more than ever to take more and more in the name of a satisfaction he will never, ever have. He ended his arch-nemesis, and he didn't have to kill her, that's not what a gentleman does. He got the streets, and he's poised to take political power, and there is nobody left to care about, nobody except the only person who's ever mattered. He can still keep taking care of Ma as a justification for all the shit he will do now and forever, but he doesn't actually have to take care of her anymore, he doesn't even have to love her or grovel her for validation anymore: He has a Ma who will tell him everything he wants to hear, forever.

Of course, he may not have his three dance partners anymore - his Ma is in a vegetative state, Sofia has been locked away once again, and that kid, what was his name again, ain't around. But then, he will simply move on to new ones: He didn't actually lose his first dance partner, his Ma is fine, look at her telling him how proud she is of him and everything he's done and how unstoppable he is now. And he has a new partner in City Hall who is all too eager to play along to everything he says and does, who will receive and spit back his rhetoric just as Vic did to the streets of Gotham. And if he's defeated his nemesis and dance partner, well, not for long. There's a new one waiting for him. He never wins without losing. He will never again live without his next dance partner there to hound and foil him at every turn. There will always be something in the way.

It was exciting to me, the idea that we’re going to meet Oz as a mobster, and to play him as just a man. There’s nothing fantastical about him. There’s so many people like Oz in our world who hold a lot of power, who also connect with people because they speak, on some level, the truth. They can be charming and engaging, but also really terrifying and calculated, and not necessarily doing what they say that they will do or caring for people in the way that they say that they will. It felt so timely and so important to really engage with a guy like Oz and not turn away from him, but actually turn towards him so we can start to unpack, in our own society, what makes a man like Oz so appealing, and what makes him equally appalling. - Lauren LeFranc

I think Oz has always been someone who believes that everything he’s saying in the moment is true, and he creates worlds and illusions for himself to merit his actions. He does it sometimes very briefly in impulsive moments, and then sometimes more methodically, and in the end the fact that he didn’t get from his mother what he’s always desired isn’t good enough for him. So he has to create this strange fantasy live in this delusion of his own making, and pay Eve to dress as his mother and force her to tell him he she’s proud of him. So mentally, emotionally, Oz is embracing his own delusion. I think, for the audience, I hope they more deeply understand him psychologically and realize that there is a deeply broken man inside. He is violent and problematic and and very emotional. And that’s really the man that will carry into the next film. - Lauren LeFranc

And it has to end in a total reversal of the movie ending - The Batman ends with showing there is a light in the darkness, that this tortured broken man can fix his mistakes and lead us into something better. The Penguin ends by grabbing your face and desperately yelling at you SOMEBODY FUCKING SAVE US, HE WILL ONLY GET WORSE. The Batman ends with telling us Batman can save us all, and The Penguin ends with telling us Penguin will kill every last one of us in real life if he hasn't already, if nobody stops him.

And so I'll leave these last partings words to the Penguin Braintrust as we close off this series - see you all in therapy and in theaters when The Batman: Part 2 drives us all completely insane once more.

@wil4x

I don't think this Penguin is someone Batman can tolerate, I don't think Bruce can ever save Gotham's soul with a force of corruption as big as Penguin taking root in the seats of power. No amount of informant work can justify letting a monster like Penguin stay "King of Gotham". I think there's an argument to be made that Oz is a bigger threat to Batman's overall long-term mission than guys like Joker or Riddler. Those are huge immediate threats, but Penguin does a lot more long-term damage to the very soul of Gotham and its people. As long as The Penguin is on top, there's no hope, Gotham will never not be the most corrupt and nightmarish place on earth with him in charge

@book--wyrm

He will truly climb anything no loss so great it can't be flipped into an asseet A nuke Francis armed out of pain and grief and desperation and despair And poor vic Only wanting to do good And instead he saves gotham’s own typhoid mary of misery

@davidmann95

so the thing is Oz kills hope for Gotham forever in this

he's replacing the mayor who stands for hope at the end of The Batman with a corrupt comics rando built on a lie so he can install himself as the power behind the power forever Batman can't be alluded to in the slightest until the very end because it can't be until there's no lingering 'aw, I don't want my boy to get Batman'ed' it can't be until we understand truly and completely why this man proves the necessity of someone out there to stop him

The other stabs at this with Oswald, from what I’ve seen, are trying to make him low-down and dirty and vile enough to be a ‘proper’ Batman villain. But this already made him low-down and dirty and vile. And made us love him for it. This isn’t about ‘fixing him’, this is about taking him all the way to the top He’d accept no less

This is about making him operatically nightmarish enough to be a guy Batman is going to fight forever

Lucas

VENGEANCE, GET OUT RIGHT FUCKING NOW.

[zedortoo]

HAPPY DAY AFTER WEED DAY err here's how I think certain characters act when under the influence of alcohol or weed

Peppino:

Relatively good natured when drunk, can get a bit boisterous at times but never on purpose. Used to have a drinking problem after the war but now drinks a responsible amount.

Usually just. Falls asleep when he gets high. Too much stress on the poor bastard already, his body takes any chance to conk the fuck out. When he's awake he's quiet, almost in his own little world.

Gustavo:

Does stupid shit when drunk. Takes any dare and makes it ten times more dangerous. Also seems to somehow be invincible while under the influence of alcohol, none of his stunts ever go wrong. Often climbs people taller than him.

Laughs at anything while high. He would laugh at a fly spot on a wall. One time he was doubled over barely able to catch a breath because he thought a painting of a duck was the funniest shit ever. Loves to cuddle and pet brick, who takes advantage of his inebriated state to ask for lots of treats which Gustavo gives out without a second thought.

MR STIIIIIIICK:

Very happy drunk! A bit of a lightweight but once he gets a buzz he wants to be EVERYBODY'S friend. It's like his entire personality does a 180. All of a sudden he's laughing at everything and not starting arguments or trying to scam people. Perhaps drinks a bit more than someone his age should but he still manages. Loves to sing and dance even if he has a terrible voice and two left feet.

Gets incredibly heightened emotions under the influence of weed. In most cases this leads to him freaking the FUCK out and having like three panic attacks. Thinks the government put a chip in his skin and considers whether or not to pull it out. He doesnt do this every time he gets high though, when he's with people he trusts he relaxes a lot more. Doesn't talk much. Still dealing with heightened senses but in a more palatable way, a fluffy blanket is like heaven to him. like peppino, often conks out as his body desperately tries to catch up on sleep.

Pepperman:

Surprisingly lightweight for someone his size. Despite being a bigass pepper it only takes him as much as the average Joe to get drunk. Often gets experimental with his paintings, had dipped himself in paint and cannonballed naked (or as naked as he can be) onto canvases to make art with his cheek prints or some shit. Has a taste for nicer alcohol and orders gay ass drinks whenever he goes out. Turns his metaphorical nose up at regular beer.

Mellows out a lot when high. He becomes a lot less self centered and is able to talk about things other than him and his art. Doesn't smoke, only does edibles but likes making ceramic pipes and shit for his friends. Sometimes he can get emotional and go into tiny pepper mode, which is why he doesn't tend to get high alone.

Vigilante:

Can handle his alcohol relatively well. could drink most of the cast under the table any day. If he gets too drunk he begins to melt into a puddle, struggling to keep a form. Makes his own incredibly potent moonshine, which would probably kill a small dog. Loves doing karaoke while shitfaced, is actually good at it.

Literally just fucking melts while high. First time it happened, everyone thought he was dead because he wasn't making any movements or noise. No eyes no nothing. He says he enjoys himself, but noone really knows because. Well. He's a goddamn puddle. Tends to trip sit for the more anxious, has stopped Mr Stick from having a heart attack at least twice. Of course, stick never thanks him when he's sober because he's an asshole, but he has endless praises while high.

Noise:

ROWDY DRUNK. ANGRY DRUNK. BITER. keep a wide berth when out drinking with him, he'll pick a fight with whoever he thinks looks at him funny. He won't attack any of his friends though, in fact he becomes very protective. Has growled like a feral animal multiple times- though to be fair, he does that sober, too.

Like pepperman, becomes less painful while high. You can hold a conversation with him without him insulting your entire bloodline. Actually a pretty chill guy most of the time, laughs at dumb stuff. He does get very cuddly though and will wrap himself around whoever is available. Usually this is noisette, but he'll settle for anyone. One time he curled up and fell asleep in Peppermans arms.

Noisette:

Doesn't drink much, doesn't like the way alcohol tastes unless it's flavoured as something else. On the rare occasion she drinks enough to get inebriated, she's just very giggly but surprisingly quiet. Just loves to listen and laugh with her friends. Surprisingly cooks very well when drunk. Gets very red in the face.

When she's high, she also doesn't talk much. She just giggles and stims alot, likes soft things even more than usual. Gets very sleepy, which everyone thinks is adorable. She's always attached to Noise when she's high, snuggled up to him and hiding her face. She just wants love and Noise is happy to give it.

Fake Peppino:

Alcohol doesn't work on them, per se. They don't get mentally impaired but, like Vigi, fakey becomes very melty. He never seems to mind, in fact it seems to be relaxing to him to let go of his physical form. Although he can't actually get drunk, he loves to mimic the behavior of his buddies when they're shitfaced, which can lead to him doing dumb shit.

Noone can actually tell if weed has an effect on him or not. He acts similar to the way he does when given alcohol, becoming very melty, and seems very relaxed- though, nobody really knows if they're actually high or just pretending to fit in. The one key is that their sclera go BRIGHT red. Almost neon when compared to the regular bloodshot high look. Maybe they're trying to mimic that too, but it's a source of a lot of laughs for the rest of the crew.

Pizzahead:

SAD drunk. Actually, no, not really? Whenever they drink, they start crying, but nobody can place whether it's happy or sad. Very lightweight, two glasses and the tears start pouring. Nobody can figure out if they're happy or sad tears, because Pizzahead just blubbers and tries to hug people the entire time. Has the ability to simply sleep until his hangover wears off, which often leads to him just curling up wherever and snoring away until the afternoon.

Gets even more mischievous when high. Rubs their hands together and plots stupid shit. Practices his evil laugh. Instead of his usual closed eyes, when he's high they bulge RIGHT out and scare everyone because he looks like he's glaring directly at them. Has a habit of lacing the edibles with psychedelics, freaking everybody out, which is why he's banned from bringing his own material to the sesh because it'd be too difficult to just ban him outright.

Gerome:

Literally cannot get drunk. He's a rock, it's not possible. Likes the taste of beer, though, and drinks it like it's water. this has lead to people who dont know him to presume he's an alcoholic, which he laughs at. Dude just doesn't care.

Surprisingly enough, however, weed does work on him. How? Cartoon laws, idk. Gets *slightly* more talkative when high, but it's mainly just nods and mhms, unless he's with John, in which case he'll be yapping his brothers ear off. He only does it in private, though. Nobody can know how talkative he can get.

John:

Can actually get drunk, unlike his brother. it's like a party game to see if he can get even the slightest bit tipsy because he's just so massive. Could beat anyone in a drinking competition and still be sober while the other person is blackout drunk. The only time he got fully sloshed was when everyone worked together to bring him several barrels of liquor. They had to keep an eye on him for the rest of the night because he REALLY wanted to smash pizzaheads skull in. Slept for a week afterwards, everyone thought he died.

Doesn't get high often, mainly because it makes him more emotional. He doesn't enjoy talking about his experiences in the tower while sober, but when he's high it kinda just... Spills out. He doesn't know how to stop it but next thing he knows he's crying and feeling like an idiot, not matter how many people attempt to comfort him. If he's in a good mood pre-weed, though, he's usually fine, just having a good laugh with everyone else and not batting an eye when people use him as a rock climbing surface.

YAYYY hope these were readable uhhh I have never drank or smoked before because I am a good Christian boy (lie) so sorry if these aren't accurate 😢

[pastrydragon]

Accent, speech pattern and Voice headcanons for the Gotham Rogues.

Riddler

In casual settings, Eddie has a slight New Jersey accent and cusses with the frequency you would expect from that.

He almost always has perfect grammar and has a very impressive vocabulary.

But there are some situations where "Fuck" just does not have a suitable replacement.

When he's going against Batman, The Riddler adopts a more trans Atlantic accent since it goes with his gameshow aesthetic.

Also since a LOT of his schemes are publicly televised he doesn't want to cuss on camera or forget to project his voice.

So adopting a different accent helps his brain remember how to act on camera so he can always appear classy.

Edward's voice is a bit more high and nasally than average, but not to an annoying degree. It's not particularly unique either. So if he remembers so change his voice slightly then he can make a phone call to anywhere and they won't recognize him.

Emotional variations include his accent getting thicker when he's angry or exhausted.

Scarecrow

John has a very rural Georgian accent.

Scarecrow: The Master Of Fear has a rather dramatic way of speaking due to his love of classic literature and poetry.

His years in academia have also left him with a very intellectual and scientific vocabulary.

John speaks with a kind of intensity and eloquence that you'd expect on a stage rather than at the front of a classroom.

A smooth baritone only enhances the effect.

Had he not been a professor, he would have made a killing as a raidio star or television narrator.

John only breaks out Southernisms when he's embarrassed. "Well I never!" "Why I outta-" he also stammers when embarrassed. otherwise his speech patterns don't have noticeable emotional variation except the ones he puts there.

Mad Hatter

Jervis has a strong Bristol accent. Which is an English accent that strongly pronounces R's and tends to slap an L at the end of words that should end in a vowel.

The classic example is Opera'l instead of Opera.

His voice is naturally high and soft, often making him sound much more indulgent toward others than he's actually feeling.

Although he does quote the Alice books often, he does not quote longer passages exactly unless he's having an episode.

The rest of the time he'll change them to fit what's happening or merely reference them.

If he's feeling particularly lucid and cheery, you may not even hear mention of the books at all.

Stress will cause longer more accurate quotes and chip at his lucidity along the way.

His only other emotional variation comes out when he's feeling flirtatious.

Jervis's voice tends to get more breathy and cooing around people he likes. He also goes harder on his R's giving some words a purr like sound.

Harley Quinn

We all know and love our girl Harley's Brooklyn accent.

Honestly I can't make an improvement on the BTAS version so scroll down.

Poison Ivy

Pam has a Virginian accent. It's the kind of southern bell accent you'd associate with Blanche Devereux.

Pair that with a voice like a lounge singer and everything that comes out of her mouth sounds sexy.

Even when she doesn't want it to.

It's actually pretty annoying for her.

Unlike John she uses plenty of southernisms such as "I Reckon" "Over yonder" and of course the venom filled "Bless your heart."

Catwomen

The Miami accent is strong on this women, and it tells you exactly why she moved to Gotham.

You can't wear all black leather in the kind of weather Florida's got.

Miami heat isn't sweet to everyone.

Being a second generation Cuban immigrant, she speaks Spanish fluently and while she speaks both it and English seamlessly she has run into one glitch.

She will occasionally forget whether a turn of phrase was originally English or Spanish.

She called John a dancing skeleton once and no one has let it die. From Esqueleto rumbero- Literally: Dancing skeleton, Meaning: Very thin.

Her actual voice is a pretty standard alto. Like Ed, as long as she disguises her accent she can basically call wherever without being recognized.

Another rogue that hits their R's harder while flirting. But it's less a seductive purr and more an "Oh, I'm being HUNTED" kind of sound to hear.

Bane

Bane is directly from Venezuela and has the accent to match.

His English is phenomenal for someone who's only been speaking it a few years but it's not always perfect.

Whenever he doesn't know or forgets the word for something he'll describe it using other words until the other person figures it out for him.

For example, this interaction between him and Riddler: "I need the office knives." "... I'm sorry, what?" "The office knives, with the holes in the handle." "Hmmm, is the answer perhaps scissors?" "YES! I need the scissors!"

Edward is the grand champion of figuring out what Bane is saying if Catwomen or Music Meister isn't there to translate the word from Spanish.

Bane has a naturally loud and deep voice which can make him sound aggressive even when he's not trying to be. His size doesn't help.

But really he's a very calm and levelheaded person.

If he's actually angry, you'll know it from how quiet deliberate his speech becomes.

A quiet Bane is a dangerous Bane.

Joker

New York accent.

Drops occasional NY phrases but doesn’t mention anything culturally significant to New York unless someone else brings it up.

He doesn't remember what part of New York he's from but if asked he'll say Coney Island.

His jealousy over Eddie growing up in Wildwood is real.

Harley swears up and down he's from Staten Island and anyone familiar with the different New York accents would agree with her.

Joker has a pretty distinct reedy voice that all gothamites will recognize as soon as they hear it.

It gets even higher on the rare occasion he's scared or nervous.

Music Meister

SoCal (Southern California) accent.

This accent is also called Valley Girl.

He's originally from San Diego and spent his early twenties in LA so the accent is thick and locked in.

He moved to the east coast to attempt a Broadway career before turning to villainy and kind of regrets not moving back west first.

He's the first person to complain about cold weather and bad Mexican food when the chance pops up.

But he's gotten too fond of the other rogues to seriously consider leaving.

Even if the Scarecrow keeps smacking him with a newspaper every time he misuses the word "literally".

He automatically starts singing his words when he becomes frightened or incredibly nervous. Which made sense until he revealed he did that even before he got his powers.

Odd.

Killer Croc

Waylon has a thick cajun accent, that along with a naturally growly bass voice can make it difficult for others to understand him.

He prefers speaking French to English and will go out of his way to talk to people he thinks might speak his preferred language.

Jervis, Edward, Victor Fries and Joker speak with him in French when in a one on one conversation. 

Yes Joker speaks French, no he doesn’t remember why or how. He honestly didn’t even know he could until he met Waylon. 

Waylon is incredibly charming and personable once you figure out what he's saying, he's definitely the most well liked rogue among his peers next to Harley.

Emotional variants include getting even more growly when angry and speaking completely in French when distracted.

Penguin

A lot of people say he has an English accent, he doesn’t, never say this in front of him.

The man is WELSH, and he has ruined people’s lives over having his accent confused on particularly difficult days.

He takes great pride in his heritage and being accused of being “English” of all things is one of the quickest ways to sour his mood.

No offense to Mr. Tetch of course, it's the principle of the thing really.

He rarely speaks Welsh these days unless visiting extended family.

He does use the proverb “Deuparth gwaith yw ei ddechrau”(Two-thirds of work is starting), mostly to himself but he’ll use the proverb with others when appropriate.

Emotional variants include his voice getting squawk like when scared. He also laughs like a mad pelican.

Clayface

I forget who came up with this originally and I'm kicking myself for not remembering but I've adopted the head canon that Clayface was an "aging" K-pop/drama star that was on tour in the states when his manager coerced him into trying an experimental cosmetic treatment that turned him into Clayface.

So Clay has a very strong Korean accent and probably speaks the worst English out of all the rogues.

It's passable but he understandably just wasn't expecting to need it this much.

Despite his difficulties he still somehow gains control over the majority of his conversations and seems to exude likability.

He's trained for years to make his voice as soothing and pleasant as possible and he's not going to let being a mud monster ruin his hard work.

Until something triggers his traumatic memories and sends him into a frothing rage full of bubbling curses or a depressive meltdown where he becomes a pile of blubbering goo.

He's totally incomprehensible when he's having either kind of breakdown even to other Korean speakers, honestly HE doesn't even really know what he's saying.

Many of the rogues have hired him to put his acting skills to use in various schemes and Clayface is amazed at all the new voices he can do.

He's also been Music Meister's backup vocalist for a few of his schemes so you know he's legitimately good.

Bookworm

He has a rather general east coast accent.

Until he gets angry and starts cursing in Portuguese.

You'd never guess because he's an ashy fucker and his skin never sees the sun since he spends all his time reading inside, but the guy is mainly indigenous Brazilian.

You might be able to get a clue from his facial features if he wasn't wearing the world's thickest glasses and a hat.

He has near permanent "Library voice" so people often struggle to hear him above everything else that might be going on.

His voice is surprisingly sonorous and captivating when he can be well heard.

Since Arkham doesn't often get new books, fresh literature was fought over until Joker suggested "AudioBookworm" which is just Bookworm reading the new book aloud for everyone.

Until his little used voice gives out a bit at which point Scarecrow or Mad Hatter will step in until the end of the chapter.

Mr. Freeze

Victor has a moderate Icelandic accent.

Riddler and Joker have a competition going to see how many lines from Skyrim they can trick him into saying.

Victor figured it out immediately but plays dumb to this day in order to fuck with them.

He said "Hey, you. You're finally awake." to Edward after he woke up from a nap in the rec room once and Victor will treasure the face that nerd made forever.

Victor has a bit of a "resting bitch voice" he always sounds annoyed.

Unless he's talking to Nora, then he just sounds like a simp.

Not really a voice head canon but he gets hiccups very easily from laughing.

BONUS Nora

Nora is from Belarus so she often got mistaken for having a Russian accent.

But unlike Oswald she rarely cares enough to correct people much less get angry over it.

Nora speaks with great confidence and authority, even when she doesn't necessarily have either.

Her voice definitely broadcasts "Don't even fucking THINK about arguing with me."

The personality and accent get her the nickname "Ice queen" wherever she works.

Which is very unfair, she's a kind and compassionate women!

She's just also right and she should say it.

Nora's voice becomes utterly saccharine around Victor, they're absolutely obnoxious to listen to together.

[deliciouseggclan]

Violetheart found some herbs and berries that she thinks would be good as a supplement to fresh kill. Her clanmates weren’t too sure about her idea… but are more than willing to try her culinary tests! Her more primitive recipes included rubs with herbs and berries, as well as some (not very good) teas!

Full story below the cut!

The tree line shook and shuffled like a freshly named apprentice. Violetheart thought of her own apprentice, Creampaw. The little molly was a paw full, but Violetheart loved the younger cat regardless. Creampaw proved to be an innovative and curious cat, inspiring her mentor to try out new hunting methods, and even to question the twoleg landmarks that mar their territory.

Her violet eyes glanced up at the leaves, and she noticed a squirrel, nibbling on an acorn. The squirrel worked it’s little teeth around the cap, flaking off chips of the brittle shell.

Violetheart found herself wondering what an acorn actually tasted like. Of course it would never be a sustainable meal like fresh kill, but herbs have their own positive properties as well without necessarily sating hunger.

In her 100 moons, she hadn’t had the time to slow down and think about these things. She felt an uncomfortable tightening in her chest as she thought about retirement, what would she do when she no longer had an apprentice, border patrol, hunting expeditions? Violetheart shook her head to rid the useless thoughts and heard a scuffling behind her.

Keeping deathly still, she inhaled deeply and recognized the scent of a rabbit. Her eyes slid to a bush, where she could see faint movement and suddenly a dark ear emerged.

Violetheart breathed a quiet thanks to nature and leaped, securing the dark rabbit with one swift motion. It shook and resisted for a moment, wrenching the warrior’s heart yet again. Despite her moons, she still did not find joy in killing. Her teeth squeezed tighter until the movement stopped and she sighed in relief. “Your sacrifice will not be in vain,” she promised the rabbit and turned back toward where the remains of the acorn lie scattered on the forest floor. The squirrel was nowhere to be seen.

She curiously eyed the whole acorns around the broken pieces before scooping them with a paw. Perhaps the old way isn’t always the best way, after all, and it wasn’t unheard of for twolegs to sprinkle things on their prey too. Colorful and flavorful, she heard, and it sounded delicious. She would grab some berries too, and make this rabbit a celebration that would make the woods proud.

[braveclementine]

Obadiah Stanes' Betrayal

Warnings: 18+readersonly, animal abuse

Copyright: I do not own any Marvel characters or locations. However, I do own my OC Elizabeth Lightwood. I do not condone any copying of this.

Tony headed back to the living room, looking around for Pumpkin. They'd already watched a movie with a bowl of popcorn. He was surprised by how much of the actual popcorn she'd eaten. Jarvis had told him that rabbits actually could eat small amounts of popcorn, as well as corn chips because they need a high intake of salt. Though, it was best if they didn't eat it in high amounts.

But now, she was nowhere to be seen and he figured that'd she'd headed back to the kitchen in order to use her litter box. She was very well trained- though he didn't really know what else he had expected. She had been human once, of course she knew how to go to the bathroom.

It was probably because whenever Happy had to go to the bathroom, Pepper just let him go outside like any other dog and then had to clean up after him. A lot of times, from what he'd heard, the soulmates that turned into animals let into their animal sides naturally.

He always wondered what made a certain person turn into an animal and the other one not. A lot of people argued that it was based on dominance since a majority of the female side of the soulmates turned into animals. And if there was a same sex relationship, the smaller or more timid of the second person was the animal.

That was what he'd believed for a while. His mother, compared to his father of course, was naturally more submissive. Pepper did have a bit more umpf to her than Happy, though he was just slightly surprised.

He wondered if he still believed that, sitting down on the couch. He knew Obadiah had not been an animal. And he radiated dominance.

Tony's phone suddenly rang and he picked it up as he sat down. The minute that he answered it, hearing Pepper's voice in her ear go, "Tony?", he felt a strange buzz and the phone was taken from his hand. His entire body had seized up.

"Breathe." Obadiah's voice said as he helped Tony lay back on the couch. His first thought wasn't about Obadiah, but about Pumpkin. He had to have done something to her.

"Easy, easy." He could see the tool being held up in front of him. "You remember this one, right?"

If he'd used it on Pumpkin, it could kill her.

"It's a shame the government didn't approve of it." Obadiah said. "There's so many applications for causing short-term paralysis." Obadiah walked around to the other side, grabbing Tony's face and said his name. Tony watched as Obadiah pulled the ear plugs out of his ears, pocketing them.

"When I ordered the hit on you, I worried that I was killing the golden goose." Obadiah said, pulling a metal object out of his bag to put it over his arc reactor.

Suddenly, out of the corner of his eye, he saw a blur coming racing across the room. Pumpkin leaped onto the table and then at Obadiah's face, scratching, clawing, and biting to the best of her ability. Obadiah dropped the metal object in surprise, reaching for her, tossing her across the room.

He wanted to cry out as Pumpkin hit the floor, skidding across it.

"Damn rabbit." Obadiah hissed, wiping blood from his face, bending down to pick up the metal instrument once more.

But Pumpkin was already back on her feet, launching herself back upwards. She knocked the metal instrument out of his hands, sending it skittering over the floor, before she bit his fingers and start to re-claw at his face.

Tony could only watch, wanting to scream at her to get out of the house, to get to safety. He could only watch as Obadiah grabbed Pumpkin- still flaying about, trying to get every inch of Obadiah that she could- and threw her even more harshly to the ground. This time, she stayed down.

Obadiah walked over, breathing heavily, even more blood dripping from new scratches in his face and picked up the metal instrument once more. He was seething as he sat back down on the couch, clearly wanting to get this over with.

"But, you see," Obadiah continued as he put the metal object down on his arc reactor, "it was just fate that you survived that."

Tony made a noise of pain as the arc reactor was jolted in his chest. As Obadiah lifted the arc reactor out of his chest, Obadiah said, "You had one last golden egg to give." He lifted the arc reactor to his face and leaned forward even more. Tony could smell the God awful cologne. "Do you really think that just because you have an idea, it belongs to you? Your father, he helped give us the atomic bomb. Now, what kind of world would it be today if he was as selfish as you?"

He gave last one yank and Tony gasped as the arc reactor was completely detached from his chest.

"Oh, its beautiful."

Pumpkin was stirring in the background and Tony begged that she would get out of there. He needed her to get out of there so that she was safe.

"Oh Tony, this is your ninth symphony." Obadiah sat down next to him, an arm around his shoulder. "What a masterpiece. Look at that. This is your legacy. A new generation of weapons with this at its heart. Weapons that will help steer the world back on course, put the balance of powers in our hands. The right hands." He chuckled, picking up a black box. Tony could feel the dried blood down his ear.

"I wish you could see my prototype. It's not as. . . Well, not as conservative as yours. Too bad you had to involve Pepper in this. I would have preferred that she lived."

Obadiah stood up started to walk towards the doorway before he stopped and turned back. "It really is a shame, Tony. I was going to let her live but. . . it seems almost a pity to curse her to a full animal life."

Tony wished he could move as he watched Obadiah approach Pumpkin who was still splayed on the floor, nose and ears twitching. Her eyes were open, one of them looking at him.

"A shame." Obadiah repeated before picking his boot up and stomping down on the rabbit.

Tony screamed internally as Pumpkin let out a terrible noise. Rabbits only ever made noise when in pain or if they were mating. And he wished he'd never heard it. Her entire body went limp. Not a single bit of her was moving as Obadiah moved out of the room, distant doors closing behind him.

The paralysis ended and he staggered to his feet. His first instinct was to get to Pumpkin, but he knew he couldn't help her if he didn't help himself first. He made it to the elevator as fast as possible, slamming his body against the metal as it went down.

He wished he could've picked her up and brought her down with him. But if he bent over, he wouldn't get back up. He had to help her. He had to get himself a new arc reactor quickly.

The doors to the elevator opened and he staggered out of them. He fell down the step and crawled, using car tires and other appliances to drag himself across the floor. He was no longer thinking about himself, but of Pumpkin, and also of Pepper.

He grabbed for the arc reactor and missed, slumping against the drawers. He was going to die. And if he died, Pumpkin was going to die too. She might already be dead and he hadn't done anything to help her yet.

Suddenly, the sounds of a mechanical robot sounded and he watched as the other arc reactor was lowered in its glass case but Dum-e.

"Good boy." He breathed out and then smashed the case.

🎃 :::::  🧡  ━━━━━━━━━━━━━━  🧡  ::::: 🎃

"Tony?" You heard a somewhat familiar voice shouting through the empty mansion. Your entire body was in pain, reminding you of that terrible week of Spring break. You'd been on vacation with your family- never a good thing. You couldn't remember entirely what had happened, but your father had gotten angry and pushed you on the trail. You'd fallen down the mountainside and had broken nearly every bone in your body except maybe your neck.

That was what this felt like, except worse. You couldn't even breathe or open your eyes.

"Tony?"

The footsteps approached and then dashed towards you, "Pumpkin!"

You let out a noise of pain as Rhodey's hands picked you up. "Shit. Where's Tony?"

You couldn't answer and Rhodey carried you. You could feel heavy jolts as he ran down the stairs. "Tony!?"

"Tony!" Rhodey rushed over to another place, putting you down on my tile. You could smell blood and the strange smoky scent of broken glass.

"Tony! Are you okay?"

"Where's Pepper?" Tony gasped out and you twitched.

"She's fine. She's with five agents. They're about to arrest Obadiah. But Pumpkin-"

"Where is she?" Tony demanded, sounding stronger. "I had to leave her to get myself an arc reactor. I had to leave her. She's upstairs, in the living room. Obadiah stomped on her, she might be dead. But I couldn't help her if I was dead too."

"She's right here. She's hurt, but she's alive." Rhodey said.

"Pumpkin!" Tony whispered, picking you up in his hands. "Shit."

You felt yourself being carried over and set down gently on the table.

"Rhodey, listen. The agents aren't going to be enough to take down Obadiah. He has his own suit. I've been through war, it won't be easily destroyed. The only thing that can do it is another suit. But Pumpkin is my top priority. You take her and you get her to a vet immediately. I don't care that it's nearly the middle of the night. I'll pay whatever it takes, but I am not losing her. Do you understand?"

"Yes." Rhodey said. "Tony, you have to be careful."

"I will. You make sure Pumpkin is alright so I have something- someone to return back to." Tony said and you could nearly feel yourself blush. Tony kissed the top of my head and whispered, "Stay alive for me Pumpkin. I need you, okay? Stay alive for me till I get back."

You wiggled your nose once and Tony kissed your fur again and then he was gone. Rhodey took you carefully into his arms. "Okay Pumpkin, let's get you to a doctor." 

[incomingalbatross]

Straw Hats as Leverage Roles

Luffy: Mastermind Captain. NOT the guy who forms plans but he IS the one who sets their goals and who brought the crew together. The one who gets to say "Let's steal an [x]!" while the rest of them pinch the bridge of their nose and try to explain that's not stealable (it is). On the ground, he's good as a hitter and an unexpected natural as a thief. CANNOT grift. CANNOT hack.

Zoro: Hitter. Plain and simple. Does not have a strict no-kill rule but does avoid guns because he's not good with them. Martial arts or (whenever possible) swords.

Nami: Thief and grifter, mainly. A little bit of an all-rounder because she needed to be able to pull off jobs by herself, but her main skills are breaking and/or conning her way into places and getting out with the goods.

Usopp: Hacker. Good with computers. Sniping is replaced by remote-access tricks and his electronic toys. CANNOT grift, don't listen to him when he says he can. Working on his fighting and thieving skills.

Sanji: Hitter and grifter as needed. Likely the one going in to pull other crew members out of bad situations, when they need some subtlety for that. His primary role, though, is still Cook — Luffy's crew requires good and reliable food in every universe. (His cooking can be used in cons but cannot be drugged.)

Vivi: Grifter, primarily. Their friend with legal contacts/resources who has a life of her own nowadays but is willing to help as needed.

Chopper: Backup hitter, but they already have a solid heist team at this point and he's primarily their medic. Generally hangs back unless there's a medical angle to his job, but everyone's teaching him bits and pieces of their skillsets as they go. (He likes hacking, and thinks thieving is cool. Awful at grifting but tries his best.)

Robin: Grifter with a side of everything. Like Nami, she's had to learn to do things for herself, but her main skill is ingratiating herself with other people who will fill the gaps in her abilities. Expert on art and archaeological history, of course — sometimes seems to know the contents of every major museum on earth by heart.

Franky: Hacker. Terrifyingly good at breaking the enemy's stuff or turning it into something completely different. Not good at subtle in quite the way Usopp is, but he knows electronics inside-out. Builds the team so many robots and drones.

Brook: Grifter with a side of hitter — was an excellent thief in his younger days, but doesn't quite have the flexibility he used to! (This team's a little light on thieves and high on grift, but what can you do?) Robin can get what she wants out of people, but Brook can get them to want what he wants. Pulls them in and connects with them, somehow without ever losing himself — he doesn't become the part, he makes them listen to who he actually is.

Jinbei: Hitter, with some experience of grifting and thieving. Was a solid mastermind for his old crew, but they didn't do the same kind of things as Luffy's crew. He's content offering support and the benefits of his experience now.

(Actual schemes are cooked up in group meetings, with Nami and Sanji taking the lead on proposing ideas, Usopp and Robin giving additional perspectives, and everyone else chipping in as relevant. Zoro only argues on questions of the crew's safety. Luffy listens and then gives the final say.)

[queeniecook]

May 18

Annalise Blake needed to have a serious conversation with her older sister, away from any prying ears. She invites Liberty out, under the guise of a simple outing for the two of them. It’s raining by the time she meets her sister in Copperdale.

After exchanging simple pleasantries, because Annalise is a firmer believer in good manners, she gets down to what she really wants to talk to Liberty about.

“I need to know. Is your husband planning on doing something to Caleb’s and Vera’s baby when it’s born?” Annalise asks. “If so, are you involved?”

Liberty isn’t shocked by the first part of her little sister’s question but the second part strings a bit. “I don’t know if James’ is planning something. He hasn’t said anything.” Liberty replies truthfully. James’ does a lot without her knowing about it, though she thinks if he was planning something, he’d have clued her in. She loathes Caleb for helping make her what she is. 

Annalise sits there quietly, thinking.

“I can’t promise he won’t try something.” Liberty continues, since her sister has been quiet after the initial question. “I may not be the best creature in the world, but I don’t touch babies. That’s not a line I’m willing to cross.” 

She’d like to think James wouldn’t either. She sees glimpses of good now and then. Outside of keeping it quiet about who helped finish turning her and being secretive, he’s showered her with gifts. Made sure she’s never low on sources for blood. Defended her honor on a few occasions even with some older warlocks that look down on her since she isn’t a witch. He’s never dared to raise a hand to her either or been mentally or emotionally abusive to her. He’s far from a saint and she can’t say she’s in love with him but she could be with far worse than James, she thinks.

Annalise nods her head, accepting Liberty’s response. She feels a bit better where her sister is concerned. As for her brother-in-law, she still highly suspects he might try something.

The vampire sisters decide to wonder the town, ending up on the pier just as the rain stops.

“Let’s ride the ferris wheel.” Liberty suggests. Annalise wasn’t expecting that suggestion and thinks they are both insanely over dressed for this behavior but she agrees. It’s something they never got to do together as children.

They even get ice cream. Despite it not tasting as good as when she was human, Annalise still enjoys her mint chocolate chip ice cream cone. For a few hours things almost feel normal. Like they are two sisters, just enjoying the afternoon together.

Of course, things are far from normal. Liberty asks Annalise if she would like to accompany her back to Forgotten Hollow and to the Straud Mansion. James and Vladislaus are out for the evening.

Annalise gets a phone call from work and Liberty sends sister on ahead to the limo to the call away from all the noise of the pier. Naturally, Liberty has a departing snack from the ice cream vendor that isn’t the flavor of chocolate ice cream, as her cone had been.

~~~A few hours later

Liberty heads upstairs to change after she arrives at the Mansion with her sister, saying all she smells is popcorn on herself. Annalise finds her way to the living room area, feeling on edge about being in the Straud Mansion. She’s actually slightly relieved when she sees her ex-husband, a feeling she never thought she’d have concerning him after their divorce.

He nods to the seat beside him and she sits down, slowly. She almost asks him how he is but he looks awful to her.

“James is still doing his experiments, isn’t he?” She asks, though she knows the answer. Asa nods his head. “You do know he can’t be doing this out of the goodness of his heart, right?”

“I know.” Asa comments, smoothing down his scarf. 

“Doesn’t that make you suspicious?” She questions him. “What if it’s some elaborate plan to figure out a way to kill off all the vampires he doesn’t like?”

“He’d be more likely to try to hold it over all our heads to get us to do what he wants.” Asa tells his ex-wife. That’s his theory about James’ intentions anyway. Though Annalise’s theory does hold some merit. 

“Asa….this can’t end well. For any of us.” Annalise worries. She wonders if Liberty knows about all of this but she figured one hard topic at a time for the day. 

“You’ll be fine, you’re his wife’s sister.” Asa assures her. That and he’s insisted Annalise being kept out of the whole thing. It was part of his terms when he entered into the experiments with James. There’s also a chance it could work and he could be human again. Maybe only to die right after that but at least he wouldn’t feel like a empty shell anymore.

“Does my sister know about this?” The question was bound to be asked. Annalise needs to know. Asa knows this even though he isn’t sure of the answer himself. “I’m not sure. She’s never around when we do it. He always has us go away from town.”

That’s the best he can give her. It’s the truth at least. It may be to keep it more of a secret from The Vatore’s and Straud himself, but maybe it’s so not even James’ own wife knows about what her husband is up to.

[becoration]

I have ants in my house and I don't know where they are coming from.

Post has been published on becoration

I have ants in my house and I don't know where they are coming from.

If you have searched on Google “I have ants in my house and I don’t know where they come from” it’s because you really have a problem. Spring and summer are two seasons when ants usually come out of their anthills. The problem is that they can make their way into your house. And many times we don’t know where they come from.

But when those ants are in the kitchen or in areas where hygiene should prevail, they become a problem. Do you want to know what you can do? Let’s get to it.

How to locate the «home» of the ants

When you have ants in your house, it is normal for them to have a hiding place where they hide at night (or during winter). During the day, many patrol in search of crumbs, leftovers, etc. to take back to the anthill. And when they find one, they organize to take everything they can back home.

Well, one of the ways, and perhaps the only, to know how to locate the place where the ants gather is through observation. It is true that the first thing you do when you see ants is try to figure out where they come from. But when you don’t know, you go to Google with your doubt. And to the question “I have ants in my house and I don’t know where they come from,” the answer is simple:

Follow those ants. That means setting a trap for them. Leave some food and wait a few hours for the ants to gather. Generally, they tend to make a path from the food to their anthill.

What if there are multiple paths? It may indicate that there are multiple anthills or multiple entrances to the same one. If so, try to follow them. This may involve them going behind furniture. But if they don’t come out of there, or if very few come out, it will already be indicating that the anthill is around there.

You must keep in mind that in a house, anthills are completely different from those in the field. Starting because they use gaps, cracks in the walls, etc. to make their tunnels. So you have to follow the trail of these ants and mark the point or points where they enter. A chipped area on the wall, a crack between the windows… all of that, which you don’t initially notice, could be the place where they come out from.

What to do to treat an ant infestation

Once you know where the ants are coming from, the next step is getting rid of them. Most people use some kind of ant insecticide, but the truth is that all that achieves is killing a few. In reality, the ant colony can be very large, which means you won’t get rid of it with a spray.

Another option is using “ZZ powders”. They are quite effective because when you apply them, it prevents the ants from approaching, and you could apply them at the entrance of the anthill so they can’t come out. The problem is that they could find a different way out and the problem would return in the long run. Also, these powders, if you have children or pets, are quite toxic.

The third option is to use toxic traps with delayed effect. They are actually food that you leave for them to take back to their anthill, and after a while, it contaminates all the ants, effectively solving the root of the problem (as long as all of them eat from it, of course).

Finally, when the ant infestation is significant, you will have to turn to a specialist or a pest control company.

Natural remedies against ants

After searching “I have ants in my house and I don’t know where they come from” it’s not enough to locate them. You have to eliminate them. And while we have given you several ways to do it, there are some natural remedies that can help prevent them from entering your house or that you see them often.

Here are some options:

Bay leaves: Bay leaves, placed in the areas where you have seen ants, will prevent them from coming near. The smell of bay leaves is very unpleasant for ants. So place them on furniture, cabinets, or corners of the house.

Baking soda: Baking soda can act very similarly to the “ZZ powders” we mentioned before, with the advantage that it will not be toxic for children or pets. Use it to cover the holes where ants come out or the path they have made.

Vinegar: Ants cannot stand its smell, so they will end up disoriented. You can also pour it into the hole, but you may just end up sealing that tunnel and they will open another one.

Orange peels: You may not know this, but ants tend to take these peels to their home. The problem is that, after a while, the peel produces a toxic substance that can end up killing the entire anthill.

Everyone wants a pest-free home. But at some point, you may find yourself with this question “I have ants in my house and I don’t know where they come from”. If so, now you know how to remedy it.

Source: MiMub in Spanish

[doctor-ciel]

Man though, because L's whole arc regarding shinigami is so fascinating but I've never seen anyone talk about it, although I'm sure people do.

Because like, what did he think was going on? When he first started the case, what did he think was going on? Probably something similar to what the people at the ICPO meeting were talking about, that someone had elaborately put things together so that they could remotely give their victims heart attacks. Crazy and elaborate, but possible.

But then they're able to kill Lind L. Taylor, so however they do it doesn't require any sort of physical tampering on Kira's part. They can just do it on command with anyone, anywhere.

We the audience know that it's something supernatural, but how soon does L accept that? I don't imagine very quickly. I'm not even sure how soon he'd even entertain the idea. Compare how he talks about finding out how they kill during the broadcast (playful) versus how he talks about shinigami once he knows he's dealing with them (afraid). I think at that point he still thinks that it's some sort of advanced technology.

Light's experiments make it undeniable, though, by controlling his victims' actions before they die. Plus the message he leaves for him, "L, do you know?", would have definitely caught his attention because at that point the thing L would've wanted to know the most is how Kira kills. Then the next message is "gods of death," his only hint at what the answer to the question is. The nonsense last message trolls him for ever having taken the messages seriously, but this still means that even if he has to second-guess himself, he now has shinigami on his mind.

This itself causes a huge change in L as a character. He has to change how he thinks about the world, his line of work, everything really in order to solve the case. This also means humbling himself to the fact that he was wrong about something, and is now in unfamiliar territory. Or, alternatively, that if it turns out this isn't something supernatural, that he was crazy enough to think that it was. Either way, he can't come out of this with the same view of himself he had before of being someone who was always right.

This is why he reacted the way he did when Misa's broadcast mentioned shinigami, even though I do think his reaction was overblown for drama (and this is coming from someone who is actually willing to suspend my disbelief for most of death note's dramatic moments, yes even the potato chip scene). But it makes sense for him to be scared, because it is now the second time shinigami have shown up in relation to Kira's power, and it's from a second unrelated person.

And I love the look he gives Light when he says that "shinigami" is probably a code word. Because on the one hand, L was probably thinking the same thing, that "shinigami" could have been a reference to the supernatural nature of Kira's powers rather than the actual explanation for them. But on the other hand, at this point he strongly suspects Light, so to me the look he gives him means something along the lines of "of course you would say that." His prime suspect trying to divert attention away from a shocking part of the second Kira's broadcast is going to be a little suspicious.

This is also the first time he's shared his shinigami idea, and he got pushback against it from the rest of the task force. That's going to add to the self-doubt. And yes, he says he agrees with them that they're not real, but this wouldn't be the first time that he's said something to go along with everyone else while silently still holding his own conclusions.

This is also part of why he fell into a slump after Light and Misa lost their memories. It wasn't just that he had turned out to be wrong (as I've pointed out here he's long since been doubting himself and grappling with the new revelation that he can be wrong about things), although having been wrong about Light and Misa as well as everything else does contribute to the loss of motivation. To me, though, it mostly has to do with the fact that it has just become clear to him that no matter what he does, there is only so much he can do to try and work against forces that are beyond his comprehension, let alone control. He doesn't know where to begin in salvaging the investigation because he doesn't even know what is happening. He says he's depressed because he was wrong, but he also says that he knows for certain that, even if they aren't right now, Light and Misa were Kira. This means his slump comes from not being able to prove it, and from being wrong about Kira's power.

At this point his theory is that the power transferred away from them and to someone else, and that they possibly lost their memory too (or else they are acting). Because you know, why not? Can you imagine L making a theory like this at the start of the show? The fact that he is making a theory like this in seriousness shows how much he's changed, what he's willing to believe, and also how willing he is to be wrong (because you can't tell me that he thinks the theory has any concrete supporting evidence besides "fuck it, anything goes at this point"). He has now fully thrown himself into the school of thought that everything that is happening is supernatural and beyond his control.

So now that they're in murky waters of what is possible... what about that shinigami theory? He feels it's safe enough again to bring it up around the others while they watch Higuchi in the car. This time, it makes even more sense than during Misa's broadcast. Higuchi's clearly talking to somebody that they can't see. And now L is on the path again to being right about something for once.

Then he holds the Death Note in his hands and is totally, absolutely vindicated. And he is not scared to look at the shinigami. Everyone else screams when they see Rem, but L has been thinking about shinigami for a long time. Whether or not they exist has come to represent to him if his ideas can be trusted or not, so to see one now he's actually happy.

And then there are the rules in the notebook. The thing about the rules is that they give clear-cut, hard rules about what can and can't be done with it, which is exactly the kind of stability that L has been missing for a long time in the investigation, the kind of thing that could determine once and for all, with hard evidence, whether or not Light and Misa were ever Kira. Light was banking on that, knowing how L works and that not only would he not question rules like that, he would want them to be true in order to have that stability.

But L has changed a lot. He only had his whole theory about shinigami in the first place because he was willing to consider impossible things. This whole time he'd been struggling to believe in a theory that no one else wanted to entertain. While the others are discussing the 13 day rule, L is stacking a tower of containers, coming closer and closer to putting the pieces together and saying what he's thinking. What if...

If they're dealing with supernatural forces, they can't know anything for certain about it. He knows that better than anyone, he's spent his whole arc coming to terms with the fact that he does not and probably never will fully understand what he's dealing with. Therefore, they have no way to know for sure that those rules are real. If he could believe shinigami exist, he can entertain the possibility that the rules are fake. And if it is a possibility, then Light and Misa aren't cleared, at least not to him, and they could still be investigated.

But he stops right before finishing the tower - before finishing his thought. He lets them go. I think this was done partly because he gave in to the stability the rules gave him, but also partly because of pressure from the rest of the task force. I could write a meta about how they actually peer pressure him into doing things a number of times, but that's for another day.

He's back to doubting himself again, which becomes especially clear in the scene on the roof. "I'm sorry. Nothing I say makes any sense anyway. If I were you, I wouldn't believe any of it." (In the sub he says "please don't believe any of it," which is even more interesting. Like he's asking Light not to go mad like he has)

He's proven right in the end though, right as he dies. It's a very satisfying end to his story. He changes from someone who always knew he was right, to being afraid of the things he didn't know, to adapting and allowing himself to work with the unknown, and being rewarded with validation that he was right all along, despite everything.

I also think it's fitting that his last words are "the shiniga-". "Shinigami" was the last word he ever said, showing how he was trying to understand them up until his death; but he gets cut short, showing how he never had the chance to learn everything about them, or even to test the 13 day rule. If you really want to stretch you could say that trying to learn about and understand shinigami and the death note is what got him killed. On the other hand, though, the fact that he was in a situation where he was able to understand what was happening, and say the words "the shinigami" and know what and who he's talking about, is a testament to how much progress he made in the investigation while he was alive.

All of this is to say that Death Note is actually a cosmic horror story from L's point of view.

[cryptid-killjoy]

"Yeah-yeah!" Scout knew the punch buggy game. Who didn't know the punch buggies? She loved that was GoGo's first thought.

Somehow even though GoGo called it out the boys in the car didn't think to do anything for themselves and Scout started to punch them. A slug to the side of Jetsam's arm and then she could be seen hanging over the back of her seat trying to reach Koda while he was dodging and blocking. He'd call out for Jetsam to do something with his daughter. Jetsam of course did nothing but laugh. Nor did he do anything remotely parental like tell her to turn around in her seat or put her seat belt on, but that was to be expected. All fun and games to Jetsam. He even jabbed her butt with his elbow to push her more into the back to help her reach Koda. It made her fall through the middle.

It was all laughter from there.

What started as a joyride, music blaring, each car in their own world, GoGo had their vibe, the twins had theirs. Chip and Dale were blaring Nascar 2000 sountrack because their brains thought in video games and outlaws. Car guys were sometimes just big boys playing out their outlaw fantasies on the track. Then there were Chip, Dale, Scout, and the like of GoGo who took their speed games to the illegal side and were actually outlaws of their own kind. It was how Dale knew GoGo would go against her parents eventually. It was too in her nature. She wasn't just an adrenaline junkie. Even an adrenaline junkie could be a conformist in Chip's book if they never let go of the safety line. She wasn't. Dale always just had him a feeling.

Then there was Jetsam's car, driver controls the music. However he did not exactly bring his playlist from the land of the dead. He had to get Scout to hook up when the radio failed to appease him. She hooked up and was put on what she considered dad music. It was stuff she remembered him listening to when he was alive. She had the lists and would listen to them over and over missing him. She put one on now and it made her face light up when he started to jam to it. It made her feel like she did something right and good which was all important to the good missing her dad dynamic.

This parade of cars started out as a loud joyride of ecclectic music and wired minds. Then the weaving would start. Jetsam dodged the first zombie out of habit used to having to weave if he was causing a rukkus in public in Nola. Then when he realized it was of the dead variety and even moreso a little part of him said even if they were alive he'd be gone by day light and what was anyone gonna do? Kill him? Send him to Hell? BWahahahaHa! No. He decided right then he didn't care either way and suddenly he got a bloodlust in his eyes as he peered through that windshield.

That's when Jetsam's car became a bowling ball and anything walking became targeted bowling pins. It started to be more like Simpson's Road Rage than a regular joyride. He'd hit the first one and the body would swirl up into the air over his car and smack down onto the hood of GoGo's.

"WoahEwww!" The twins yelled out. A second would come flying as they were trying to dodge the tailspin of that one sliding off her car and in their car's path. "Shit. Watch out."

Then the next thing the twins knew they were cracking up at their own tailspin after regaining control. "Sure you don't want me to drive?"

Chip gave him a, "Not in this lifetime" expression. Then Dale started to get his shoulder hoisted out the window ready for some target practice. Every now and again he'd swing and knock over a mailbox just to feel like he was playing baseball again like the old days and started keeping score out loud with the butt of his gun. Chip indeed gave Dale a side eye for that too if only because it was his gun he might damage in doing so, but then said nothing because fuck it. He had so many more. They were having fun.

This kind of driving could go on through the streets of Feral as long as they wanted, a rip revving, zombie bashing good night. The challenge would come more whenever any of them decided it might be time to end it. Whether it was because someone crashed or because the driver of a certain vehicle was about to disappear the moment would come the group would have to slow down after they'd riled up the town's undead population.

It would be getting closer to that time too when Dale had propped up his hip on the window ledge as he was shooting. Chip would start to slip into more of slow motion daze and was having hard time releasing the gas pedal much less lifting it to push the break. When he went into that sort of middle minded haze it was harder for him to communicate what was happening too. He'd appear like he was driving forward full throttle on purpose in adrenaline mode, so Dale didn't realize at first. That was, not until he saw the flag pole coming way too fast. They were swerving off road wrong. It didn't feel on purpose. "CHIP!" But before he knew his body went flying thrown from the VW and landed in someone's lawn.

He laid there in pain looking up at the night sky smiling.

Scout would start screaming for Jetsam to turn and go back. When they got there Koda jumped out fastest and had run up to check on Chip. Scout ran to Dale. "Was it worth letting him drive?"

"So worth it. How far did I fly? That was impressive, right?"

Another corpse was nearby that Jetsam hit earlier. It was pooling bright red blood. "Oh shit. I don't think that one was dead." Koda would say as he walked with Chip's arm over his shoulder over to where the others were.

"I guess that's Zombie Formula One Racing. If you weren't a zombie before racing you'll become one." Jetsam gave no fucks. "That's the formula."

Chip stared at it from over Koda's shoulder still looking dazed with a bruise on his head attempting to speak. It came out slow but he managed it. "I should eat it."

He was used to having to get rid of the evidence when they had accidental murders in the family anymore so to speak.

Scout looked around unsure. "I don't know. Maybe you don't have to? I don't think we can get in trouble here can we?"

All the kids looked at each other like they were confused for the first time in their lives. They knew family rules and how to go about things, handle business to keep the family safe, but they also understood Feral was a little more lax and secure from the rest of the world. They also didn't live here so they weren't used to thinking so freely as if they didn't have to cover their own trails.

If GoGo had turned around and came up at all she'd hear the group conspiring to cover up a rando murder and speak of cannibalism as if it was nothing. Maybe she kept going with her car on her own, who knew? Or maybe she'd be right there after everything finally listening as if nothing could shock her anymore, just a part of the whole wild bunch?

Scout looked down at Dale still on the ground. "I don't know. Ask Dad." Dale answered never being the cannibalism expert and was slightly jealous still that Savvy picked Chip when he left Flotsam. Their dad Jetsam was standing right there and yet Savvy didn't seem to be taking over here in leadership, so when Scout heard 'ask dad' her mind went to Thomas. It also felt right to go to him when something felt wrong and to ask for help.

Scout texted Thomas. This would come in around the time they were going to the inn.

Scout: Dad! SOS. Dead body. Dale and I don't have our bone grinders. We can make some. Should Chip still have to eat it in Feral? Can we just leave it? Or no? ฅ^•ﻌ•^ฅ

Jetsam was groaning. "You guys worry too much."

GoGo barely clocked the looks anymore. They were just starting to look normal, because of all of the ones that she got at work from her gag patrons. Going from a lanky, almost sexless car-girl to a full blown cat-maid fantasy had been a major adjustment but she was making it just fine. She considered her profession to be a fuck you to her parents. She’ll use her culture to make some decent money and get her fuckin’ dream car, and fuck anyone who got in the way of that.

But she did catch Scout’s grin and chuckled back, shaking her head. This night was finally going to get interesting. As if the entrance of a bunch of fuckin’ ghosts wasn’t enough to be considered that. No. Vehicles were getting involved and Go-Go was rearin’ to go.

And it looked like she was going to be the only one with a car all on her own, which was how she preferred it anyhow. Backseat drivers were a fuckin’ nuisance. She got the engine running, and started up the windshield wipers to clear all the dust outta there. Visibility wouldn’t last long, not if they were going to be running over zombies, with the risk of blood and other sorts of gore getting all over the windshield. But better to start on a clean surface.

She looked out the window again to see what Dale had picked and started to laugh. “Damn, now if I only had someone to punch! I owe you one, Scout, remember that!”

The thrill of the upcoming drive was making her comfortable. NO. More than that. Making her confident. She revved up the engine, hearing that beautiful sound of American craftsmanship. They might put out shitty presidential candidates, but they could make a real nice car.

That’s when Go-Go caught Scout’s eye again, and tilted their head slightly at the concern. She didn’t put two and two together, that werewolf Chip wasn’t exactly the best person to be the driver. In her mind, Thomas did it all the time. Then again, she didn’t see Chip enough to know the differences between the two. That Chip was more … zombified.

But then she just shrugged. Whatever it is - better here on the near-abandoned streets of Feral than on the Auckland roads with a whole bunch of innocent people. She popped a piece of gum into her mouth and blew a bubble, one arm hanging out the window, the other adjusting the rearview mirror, then hanging onto the steering wheel, feeling the fine leather.

Go-Go plugged her phone into the more modern stereo that had been put into this beautiful baby, and started to blast her own music along, pushing the pedal down to the metal, cruising barely behind Jetsam, literally burning some rubber as the tires started to smoke. She blew another bubble and changed gear, going faster.

She saw Koda looking behind him and she gave him a little peace sign with her fingers, bursting the bubble with her tongue. She watched her own rearview mirror and playfully moved to swerve next to the VW, her open window meaning that she could reach across and ruffle Dale’s curls.

[gooeykit]

Albedo redesign + process shots

I really like Albedo, I think that his whole deal with being forced to live as Ben's double is a neat concept too. That said, I thought Ben's design was bland so of course same goes for Bedo, and them just being copy pasted still just isnt fun lol 🥳 so when the 2 omnicores cause Albedo's malfunction, it also leaves him on his own as for how his body will play out independently from Ben's, essentially just branching off. His hair gets longer, he gets dark circles and he gets some fat on him, also Julie chips one of his teeth 😋 it takes him a while to master taking care of a human body, he goes a while being rlly malnourished and out of shape, meanwhile he's still trying to kill Ben, but after the gang realizes that its been a while since his last attempt, they check in on him and find that he's lucky to be alive levels of fucked up. Once he's back on his feet and doing alright for himself, he slowly loses his grudge, which is lucky for Ben because Albedo can now easily overpower him, at least when both are human. Albedo loses his omnitrix still but he learns to have fun and enjoy himself as a human, he can just wait for Ben to die of natural causes after all 🥳

Albedo's design caused me the most struggle when it came to his clothes ngl, but in the end I really like how it turned out 💜🧡💛 I wanted him to seem like hes 'normal' but undeniably having something deeply wrong with him, so he works at a bodega lawl. He's got a soft body but sharp features to accentuate his reactiveness and temper while also complielmenting him on the occasion where he actually is collected

[purplesong1028]

Wrong in All the Right Ways

Chapter 10: Leyenda

Miguel miraculously negotiates himself out of the crisis. Amado leaves Pacho a special gift after their encounter last night.

Rating: General Audience

Pairing: Amado/Miguel, Amado/Pacho

Words: 3,001

Miguel is already awake when Tony knocks on his door to wake him up. Of course he is, since he didn’t sleep last night at all. How could he get any sleep when he had no idea where he was going, how long would he stay in one place, or what would happen next, at all? He tries to remind himself that this is the new norm now, that he’s on the run and will always be on the run, but at least he’s still alive right now, and that’s something. That should count.

He gets dressed, gets ready and calls Tony back in to hand him two duffel bags, one with cash, one with personal items, and these are the only ones that will go in his car.

Tony nods and walks away, and that’s when everything starts happening: screeching tires, yelling, gunshots… It feels surreal, which is weird because if anything, he should be used to all that, even when he was just a cop. But it’s different now because he was just getting ready to leave for good. He thought he had made it.

Instincts and old muscle memories take control at the moment. Miguel picks up a gun from the floor and starts firing back.

The other side has more men and bigger guns, but there’s no time to think about any of that strategically amid the chaos. Some men have come upstairs, and he kills the one chasing him. Other things must have happened after that, but he doesn’t remember how exactly he made it to the backyard completely on his own. He just didn’t stop. He can’t stop.

He doesn’t stop when Calderoni calls out from behind. He runs and negotiates, desperately trying to get out of this somehow, while the police commander puts a gun to the back of his head and orders him to kneel.

Miguel hears the gun click, and that’s when his brain suddenly becomes quiet, on the verge of an immediate death.

That’s when he’s able to think again, and when he can think, he thinks well.

For the past week, he’s been preparing himself for the end, to come to an acceptance of it. But why? Why should he take the fall, when these assholes who were actually responsible for Camarena’s death could go on with their lives? These high and mighty motherfuckers took millions from him but treated him like nothing more than a scapegoat to throw under the bus, to die, so they could sit at some fancy hall in Mexico City and act like nothing happened.

They might have thought they were done with him, but he’s not done with them.

“There are seven tapes.” He tells the commander, just one of his many effortless lies. “In two of them, he was asked about names of politicians involved with traffickers.”

He doesn’t need to look back to know something on Calderoni’s face must have changed. It’s a shame, really. These politicians were so scared for themselves that they tortured a DEA to death, but turns out the guy didn’t even know shit.

Well then good for him! A dead man can’t talk, so now it’s up to him to decide what Camarena said.

“They’re the names of important men, Commander, men like your boss.”

The barrel against this skull moves, barely detectable but he definitely feels it.

“So go ahead, shoot me, and tomorrow those names are released.”

The gun doesn’t go off. Of course it doesn’t. Miguel turns around with a subtle smile on his face.

“But save a bullet for yourself, because the system doesn’t like heroes.”

*

Amado wakes up naturally around 10 am. It’s one of these rare occasions when he opens his eyes to a perfect world: the bed is soft, the sunshine is gentle, the birds are chipping, and both his body and mind are well rested. That is until he sees the circles of bruises on his wrists. Then all the memories flashback: the sex, the bathrobe, the nightclub, the failed business meeting… The world is anything but perfect, and this beautiful morning is just a temporary illusion, nothing more than a short extension from a nice dream.

He rolls off the bed, still completely naked, feet touching the soft carpet. The white bathrobe is still laying on the floor, a few steps away from bed, just carelessly left there in the cold for the night. From this angle, it looks just like a regular piece of clothing, not worth any attention, yet when it’s neatly folded and wrapped in a gift box with golden ribbons, it somehow looks untouchable, pristine. Amado picks it up, sensing the cool, smoothness between his fingertips. He puts it back into the gift box and closes the lid. After all, he still wants it. It’s his.

Then, he sees the other gift box he brought here, the one he almost forgot about. He probably should just take it back to Mexico since Pacho didn’t even care enough to take it or ask what it was. It was nothing interesting anyway, some fine liquor, but the Colombian could get plenty of those on his own. Amado thinks about last night, the utter bliss and passion, but even more so, the words Pacho said.

You can’t call your own shots. You’re not ready.

No. Fuck that.

He grits his teeth, and takes the liquor bottles out.

*

When he walks out to one of the large living rooms, Pacho is sitting at the dining table with a cup of coffee.

“Morning.” The Colombian greets him with a big smile. “Care to join me for some breakfast?”

The table is full of food, and he can smell them all the way from where he’s standing, but as tempting as they are, he shouldn’t waste more time here. “Thanks, but I really should get going.”

“It won’t take long.” Pacho gestures at the chair across from him. “Please, it would be very rude of me to let a guest leave with an empty stomach.”

Amado sighs and drops his duffel bag on an empty chair. It’s fucking impossible to say no twice to this man. He sits down and drinks a few sips of orange juice.

“Did you sleep well afterwards?” Pacho asks casually, picking up a grape from the fruit platter.

“Yeah, pretty well.” Amado meets his eyes, just in time to see the purple fruit disappear behind his lips. “Your bed is comfortable.”

“So I’ve been told.” Pacho smiles with the grape still in his mouth, and that makes it look more cheeky than it’s supposed to be. “Glad you had a good time.”

He allows his gaze to wander freely on Pacho, who’s now dressed up again in an expensive shirt with complex patterns, but it’s different now. Now he’s seen what’s underneath, and he can still see everything even when they’re perfectly covered.

Pacho leans back against the chair, open and relaxed, like he’s intentionally giving Amado a better view.

“Well, if you ever miss the scenery,” Pacho glances at the plate of eggs he’s eating, and then looks up suggestively, “or food in Colombia, you still have my number.”

Amado meets his stare and smiles back. “I’ll keep that in mind.”

He hurries to finish his plate, which is delicious by the way, and then pours himself a cup of coffee.

“You never opened the gift I brought you. I left it in the bedroom. You should take a look later.”

He takes a small sip of coffee, closely observing Pacho’s expression, and he doesn’t miss it when those brown eyes light up with interest and curiosity.

Amado picks up his bag and stands up, feeling utterly satisfied, and for once in a long time, hopeful.

“A word of advice, if you would allow me.” Pacho calls out behind him, when he’s halfway through the large living room. He turns back silently.

“I would be careful if I were you.” Pacho stands up as well, but doesn’t move closer. “Felix trusted you the most, how would the Arellanos think about that when they become the boss?”

Amado frowns, meeting the other man’s firm stare. It looks serious but not at all threatening. If anything, it’s a well-intended and very rational warning, because whether he likes it or not, Pacho is absolutely right.

“Everything else aside, I would hate not to have another…encounter.” The pause is precise and intentional, so is the way Pacho softens his tone, and he feels like something just tickled the inside of his chest.

“I know.” His voice sounds deeper than intended. “Thank you.”

Pacho simply nods and turns away.

*

Calderoni holds the open bag, looking at the five tapes inside. “You have the other two?”

Miguel doesn’t miss the suspicion in the commander’s voice. This is still an interrogation, just under a different format and with a different goal.

“Of course. I had to put them away somewhere else.” He lies with ease, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “I can’t tell you where they are, Commander. You understand that, right?”

The way Calderoni stares at him in total disdain and rage makes Miguel wonder if he ever offended him personally without knowing, cause why else would this man be against him on such a personal level? He reminds himself to look into that later, but now isn’t the right time to ask.

“You can listen to them if you want to make sure.” He gestures at an audio cassette in the living room. “As I said, these will be enough to give the Americans what they want.”

Calderoni closes the bag, apparently not interested in listening. “And I suppose you can also give them who they want.”

That makes him silent for a while, not because he doesn’t know the answer. He knows, and he knows too well. There is only one option, only one person besides him who’s important enough to take the fall and look convincing on the surface. This is someone who hasn’t done a single bad thing to him, someone who absolutely doesn’t deserve it.

But he doesn’t deserve it either. He didn’t give the order to kidnap and torture a fucking DEA. The person who did will never take the blame for it, and that’s just how this fucking world works.

“Yeah, Don Neto. He’s in Puerto Vallarta now.” His voice is calm and even, but he senses the subtle shakiness in his chest as his heart beats rapidly. “He has 30 to 40 armed men with him. Your team can easily take them, and you…you need to capture him alive, for the Americans to see.”

Calderoni scoffs, cold and mocking. “One day, you will run out of people to sell.”

Maybe, but better than having someone sell him first.

“Commander. There’s something else.” He calls out as Calderoni turns to walk away. “I think we also need to discuss our long term plan here, don’t you agree?”

Calderoni glares at him as if he just grew another head. “You sold out someone to save your own ass, and what? You think we’re on the same fucking team now?!”

“But we are. The men on the other two tapes? They’re not stupid. Once your men arrest Neto and I walk free, these assholes in Mexico City will figure out what’s going on in no time.” He shrugs, carefully taking a few steps closer. “We are on the same team now, Commander, like it or not.”

Calderoni looks like he wants to kill him right now, with his bare hands, but that doesn’t scare Miguel anymore. There are a lot more who want the same thing. They just aren’t able to do it.

“After this is taken care of, I would like to borrow your army for a trip to Ensenada.”

*

The desert in Juárez feels familiar and welcoming as they land. Amado opens the cabin door, and waves of hot air strike him on the face immediately. He used to be so annoyed by it, but now he feels a sense of comfort, like he’s grounded again, in a safe way.

He greets the two guys waiting here to pick them up, but ignores their questions when they ask about his trip. He doesn’t want to share details with anyone he doesn’t completely trust. After all, this trip to Cali as a whole is supposed to be a secret. The drive back is mostly silent, which he appreciates, but there’s something else in the air that he can’t identify. It’s like the silence isn’t out of respect or consideration for him, but these guys don’t know what to say or how to act around him anymore.

A part of him wants to just ask them what the fuck’s going on, but he eventually decides against it. He will see Acosta in no time, and with everything that’s going on, it’s better to talk directly to the person in charge of the plaza. If he doesn’t even want to share anything with these guys himself, how can he trust whatever they tell him?

They pull into the gate just when he’s deep in his thoughts, and Acosta’s right there outside, wearing his full cowboy costume, brushing that white horse.

Amado gets out of the car, and Acosta just greets him with a simple nod. For a brief moment, he almost wants to say something cheeky or make a joke, but he manages to stop himself promptly, because that would have been a disaster. This isn’t Pacho or even Miguel. This is fucking Acosta.

He needs to get his head back to the right place.

“Hey, how are things going?” He walks over to Acosta and gives the horse a few friendly pets.

Acosta looks at him up and down, and then turns to look at the car where the two guys who picked him up earlier are now taking out his luggage.

“They didn’t tell you.”

Amado feels his heart drop. “Tell me what?”

Acosta takes off his cowboy hat, and then stands up, looking at him eye to eye. “They got Neto, about two hours ago.”

“They…got him?”

“No, they didn’t kill him.” Acosta quickly denies what he’s implying. “They found him in Puerto Vallarta and arrested him. I heard they’re taking him back to Guadalajara.”

“Oh.” The word comes out as a long sigh. He leans sideways on the ranch and takes off his sunglasses. “Well, we knew it was going to happen, right? Could have been worse.”

Acosta doesn’t respond, and he’s fine with letting silence surround them. Amado puts a cigarette between his lips and offers the pack to Acosta. The older man gives him a somewhat judgmental look, probably criticizing his choice of cigarettes, but takes one regardless.

Sunset paints the clouds into a variety of glorious shades, from burning red to dark orange. The edge between sky and ground gets blurry, like the clouds are lit up on fire along with the tips of their tiny cigarettes.

“How did it go with Cali?” Acosta finally asks, when the first glimpse of darkness starts to fall.

He blows out a large puff of smoke and huffs, without actually answering the question. He doesn’t need to.

“You gave it a shot,” Acosta drops the finished cigarette on the ground and steps it out, “and you made it back alive.”

Amado glances at him from the side under the last glimpse of sunlight, trying to figure out if he really meant what he said. But then he remembers: this is Acosta. The stubborn asshole always says what he means! However, that only brings more confusion. Is the bar really that low? The only expectation from a business meeting is to come back alive?!

“All of you motherfuckers with your big ideas, big plans…” Acosta takes out another cigarette from his own pocket and lights it up, clearly enjoying it a lot more than the one Amado gave him earlier. “All of you, will just do anything to get it.”

“I didn’t do anything!” He snaps, all of a sudden feeling incredibly insulted. Why the fuck does everyone think they can read him like an open book? What makes them believe they know him?

Acosta turns to him with a firm stare, not offended, just genuinely curious, and a bit challenging.

He sighs and takes a small step back, easing the tension. “I meant I didn’t agree with what they wanted. That was why we didn’t get the deal.”

He intentionally left out what exactly Pacho wanted, because he wasn’t sure how to explain to Acosta why he didn’t want to kill Miguel, so much that he threw away an opportunity to put Juárez on top of all plazas.

He can’t even fully explain to himself.

Acosta tilts his head slightly, barely noticeable under the cowboy hat, and for a moment, it seems like he’s not going to let that go easily, which makes sense. Why wouldn’t he want to know what Cali’s condition was that they couldn’t meet?

Eventually, however, he just adjusts his hats and turns away, taking another long drag of his cigarette.

“Well, whatever you didn’t agree to, Tijuana did.”

“They’re still having that meeting?”

“Two days later, in Ensenada.”

*

“You two vetted this gift two days ago, right?” Pacho taps his fingers on the black gift box, looking up at the two young sicarios standing in front of his armchair.

“Yes, Patrón.” One of them, presumably the braver one speaks. “Is there a problem?”

“What’s in it?”

They share a look with each other, both confused and nervous. “Two bottles of whiskey. They were both sealed when we checked.”

“That’s it?”

“…Yes, Patrón.”

“Alright, thank you.” Pacho gives them a comforting nod. “You’re free to go.”

The instant relief on their pretty faces is amusing, but not nearly as amusing as what’s inside the box.

Pacho takes the lid off once he’s alone again, smiling fondly at the gift.

A black leather pilot jacket.

Tag list: @ashlingiswriting @yourlocalspacewitxch @narcolini @mandaloria314 @cherixrosa @cositapreciosa @criatividad-e @alreadywritten @drabbles-mc @sikkui @dashavau @anunhealthydoseofangst (let me know if you want to be tagged or untagged for this story)

[cc-2020]

Ok two wrongs don’t make a right but two dark and emotionally painful arcs might make a funnie crack au so

Umbara and the Chips arc

Anakin leaves and krell shows up and starts being a jerk and makes everyone march for 12 hours except oops turns out halfway through Tups chip flips out cause he’s sleep deprived or w/e so he goes and just absolutely gets krells ass who doesn’t expect it cause he’s a jerk about clones

The 501st panic frantically set up camp stick tup in some handcuffs and start blowing up anakins space text to get him to come back so he does so then idk shenanigans and non depressing fix it au commences

i thought about this ask for a while and that's actually a very reasonable idea

let's say krell and the boys have some time pre-mission and krell unpacks his whole ugly personality and orders the 501st to go running for a couple of hours

rex remains quiet for a while but he really sees how his men are growing more and more tired so he's like enough is enough and goes to confront krell

krell starts arguing, saying that the clones should be able to follow some orders, how he doesn't give a flying fuck about the republic and even less fucks about the clones' lives

he basically talks treason

and fives stands in the background and records all of this

anyways, our boys are very sleep-deprived, very stressed and also very exhausted, which promptly activates some chips

suddenly there are like 23 troopers having laser eyes directed at krell and they point their blasters at him because they won't hesitate bitch

krell's dead and rex looks down at his corpse and is like, damn,,, that's unfortunate

so he calls cody via comm and asks him what he would hypothetically do if his men would hypothetically kill a jedi, you know haha hypothetically speaking and cody sits on the other side of umbara like,,, excuse me

(he doesn't call anakin because he's a bit too far away and with the chancellor)

(the recordings of fives later make it easier to demonstrate that krell was ready to sabotage a mission of the republic, so there are eventually no real consequences for the 23 troopers)

assuming that some chips are more susceptible to a technical failure due to an incredible amount of stress, tup wouldn't be the only one to go bonkers - and when there is more than one clone trooper affected, shit gets statistically more interesting

since obi-wan and cody both have pretty nice ranks, they talk to the jedi order (palpatine tries to interfere but no one listens because that's shit they want to investigate okay) and are also the ones approaching the kaminoans. and this time they order a brain scan, making the so-called tumor visible, arguing that these have to be removed, and of course the kaminoans start bullshitting, saying that these tumors have to stay because the tumors are inhibitor chips and are implemented to prevent extremely violent behavior, making the clones less aggressive than jango fett. obi-wan and cody send this shit to kix, who looks at this statement and is seriously offended

kaminoans: the clones can become violent at any time which is why we implemented an organic chip into the right frontal lobe of their brains

kix, a medic: what ?? th e FUCK

kix, taking in a deep breath: alright buckle your seat belts motherfuckers because most ordinary social conventions are cast aside by impulsive behavior when there's a LESION in the right frontal lobe. there's a predisposition to manslaughter and harmful behavior when there's DAMAGE in the frontal region

kix: did you really clone a man with a lesion?? did jango fett have a lesion mhhh??? oh look at these CT scans of these 23 clone troopers, they are all healthy and fine so I THINK THE FUCK NOT

kix, who has no time to breathe: ALSO aggression and violent behavior have many neural correlates. if we clones are all this aggressive, why not modify our levels of serotonin metabolites ??? why not put a chip into the hypothalamus or the amygdala?? why not enhance GABA transmission ??

after listening to kix ranting his ass off, obi-wan, cody and rex naturally wonder why the clones need a chip to prevent violent behavior, even though there is no indication that the clones are more violent than nat-borns. see, they have 23 healthy troopers who randomly went havoc and the kaminoans said their chips malfunctioned. maybe the kaminoans are right and the chip is necessary to inhibit violent behavior BUT since a healthy right frontal lobe is also linked to decision making and judgment, maybe the chip malfunctioned and therefore caused the right frontal lobe to dysfunction, promoting violent behavior

natural conclusion: surgically remove the chips from the 23 clone troopers, look how their behavior changes, and conduct a study that involves a group of clones that do not receive a chip in their embryonic state and compare their behavior to the clones who received a chip (conducted and monitored by the jedi order ofc)

result: the treatment group did not get more aggressive than the control group. and the 23 clone troopers went back to normal after the removal of the chip

therefore, the republic orders the kaminoans to stop implementing the chips, even to remove them, since they obviously proved that the chips can malfunction, causing aggressive behavior. obi-wan, cody and rex naturally don't trust the kaminoans since they already implemented chips without their knowledge, so their strengthen their control positions on kamino and shaak ti becomes even more of a mother hen

(anakin gets the memo a tad later and it's good that way because he's a) to emotional for all of this and b) too close to palpatine)

in conclusion: krell's cruelty randomly activated order 66 and because more than one clone trooper is affected, the jedi council is WAY more invested, barely listening to palpatine or the kaminoans. and even though palpatine is still in the office and the jedi order still has no idea about order 66 he can't do shit because all chips are slowly removed from all clone troopers and he can't really order the remaining clones to go full assassin if anakin is still a good boi

[kouhaiofcolor]

So I’ve had this in my drafts for a while bc I wanted to give a thorough response to this. I didn’t intend for it to be as loaded as it turned out (and I feel kinda bad for that), but my energy from the op is still strong on this & I wanted to follow up on it.

While i agree there was a lot of derailing around the point of the nhc behind algorithmic antiblackness, colorism, texturism and the like — what’s unfortunately beginning to chip at these “Natural hair is too expensive/time consuming to invest in” defenses, is legitimately how much more time, energy and money is spent & lost among Black Women on weaves, wigs, sew-ins, perms, etc. Esp throughout the course of our lives in prevalence. Because, the thing is…. it doesn’t have to be time consuming. It never had to be. It’s doesn’t have to be expensive, either. It doesn’t have to be an investment in consumerism — when it’s supposed to be an investment in yourself.

The knowledge members of the nhc imparted on us (those true to cultural relevance on textured hair and brown or dark skin), were supposed to be tools and a means for investing in the health of our hair. Part of us that the things we’re more attached to as Black Women (on the basis of Black hair care) actually harms. How is the ‘cost’ of that ample grounds for outright just not learning (as someone Black in an antiblack world literally sustained on tearing Black Women apart), how to do your own hair though? I always get lost there w the assortment of excuses for this — even in the face of direct influences from white supremacy & antiblackness in general.

Even if you feel totally adverse to doing it for yourself, why just opt for continuing to damage your hair (*part of your appearance) w maintenance that has proven to kill it over short & long periods of time? I really don’t get it. Even for what’s left of the nhc today that absolutely pales in comparison to its heyday, i still see and encounter a lot of Black Women actively walking back all the progress the movement tried and intended to make to soften and better understand the representation of Black hair. There’s nothing wrong w liking/wearing your hair short as a Black Woman; nothing at all (like I’ve had to backpedal and rephrase, length is not & was not the endgame for the nhc or what I was pressing in my op).

But why should we just hold onto the things that truthfully some of the most hateful stereotypes about us are based on? What logical sense does that make? What sense does it make to reinforce this resistant mentality among future generations of Black Girls & Black Women? Esp when they’re harmful to our actual livelihood??? (<—that one gets me the most). Black Women did plenty of tests & research w valid trials & error as to figuring out the key to maintaining optimal health for textured hair. I’d consider that sacrifice — bc who else would have or was going to do it for us? Even if you can’t go natural for you for xyz, whats stopping you from retaining what you can learn to esteem other Black People about their hair?

All the benefit doesn’t have to be for you personally. You could engage & still wear weave; could learn & still wear protective styles; could still wear your hair short & encourage other Black Women to practice good habits to enhance the health of their own hair. You can still wear weave & discourage little Black Girls being introduced to perms & protective styles that have proven to do harm. Educating yourself could be the difference between someone else Black being charged an arm & a leg to see stylists who have a laundry list of reservations about doing textured hair itfp — or damaging their own hair w the bad habits/norms that are already unique to how Black hair is & has been commonly maintained. Where do you lose in that?

This is what gets me about that audio/vid that keeps resurfacing where that Black Woman is beside herself on TikTok telling the world that Black Women are generally incapable of growing their hair at all — based on the same ignorance she’s obviously more comfortable (dare I say complacent) surmising about black women than unlearning about black hair in general. And in the face of it, all I’m seeing Black Women w natural hair (long & short) do is have to come forward (all over again, like we haven’t been more than diligent in disproving this kind of recycled nonsense already) to negate her w actuality. And even w the follow ups that prove otherwise, that vid is still doing rounds across platforms. Which do you think is more likely? That that video convinces ppl that she was just ignorant, or that the racist notions people already have about Black Women’s hair anyway are sound?

Something else particularly stank about the vid imo that I haven’t seen or heard attention brought to, is how she literally made it to specifically slander Black women. There were no stabs at Black men, or Black people’s hair at large. She gunned specifically for Black Women’s hair (and ofc excluding women mixed w Black for obv texturist reasons), w this blatant conviction to shame & discredit us alone — as if our hair is something separate not just from “the hair of non black women”, but separate from our men’s as well.

It’s all ‘it’s too expensive & time consuming to take care of our own hair’ up until a new wave of misogynoir specific to Black women’s hair revs on the internet. Then it routinely shifts to us having to follow up w educating the world about how the colonization of Black hair & widespread misogynoir (still) has Black women by the throat. But the world knows how they treat us tho. What does that have to do w your relationship w your hair? All I’m saying is it’s not always gonna be the informational rebuttal it’s been used as. Esp considering all the money we as Black Women openly pour into the cosmetic industry on hair as is.

Because the thing is, weave is expensive too; wigs and protective styles have their cost-cons too. I have definitely seen enough content & heard enough stances on this by & among Black Women to be aware that these avenues for hair care are far more expensive than what’s portrayed ab maintaining natural hair. There’s tons of buyer’s remorse spoken on among Black Women who put bad, demanding or inconsiderate stylists on blast & discourage paying for their services. But is there any prevalent encouragement to maybe look into more personal reasons to learn how to take care of your hair yourself? Of course not. Because it’s too “challenging and/or expensive”, right?

I’m not shaming us, I’m just saying…. it can get tiring. It does get tiring. It’s getting old & becoming harder to defend when it’s something we opt for just bc we don’t “want to” take care or our actual hair (which is another justification I’ve seen rise to popularity as an “end of discussion” sort of gesture). It’s keeping us right where we are. It’s stunting our minds, awareness, & willingness to learn as well as unlearn. I just see where we make excuses — even at the risk of making some upset w this take. Black Women definitely have reasons, unlike any other women on the face of the earth, to have a strained relationship or compromised sense of self when it comes to how we identify w our hair. Because of white supremacy, misogynoir, colorism, texturism, featurism, yes, yes; undoubtedly. But I also definitely worry that we’ve been far too comfortable just putting our hair away under something else if not someone else’s texture.

I don’t think this is beneficial for little Black Girls; I don’t think it’s ever really been lucrative for Black Women. At the same time I also understand that, even as a Black Woman, it’s not my business what other Black Women choose to do w their hair. I just genuinely do not understand why we keep defending doing the same outdated things yet expecting different modern results. It gets so incredibly confusing sometimes.

I really miss the natural hair community & watching natural hair content generally. That was so good for Black Women; we were thriving at it, too. And as rapidly as it rose to popularity, it’s crazy how dead the whole concept is now. I think it had more to do w all the division created over routines around maintenance than anything else. Everybody was entirely too pushy w trying to make what worked for them personally a staple for taking care of textured hair in general — & that shit walked so that colorism, featurism, texturism & misogynoir could run. Now the same ppl who was riding the wave a few years ago & swearing by all these products, brands, sponsors, wash day & styling methods have put natural hair away as a concept entirely.

Also, why the hell did we waste all that energy prefacing everything w, “Stop doing this and do these things for your hair to grow to tailbone length overnight🤡” — just to go right back to weave and perms? All that researching for what? All the dedication to disproving antiblack/misogynoir notions about Black hair for what? All the redefining of protective styles for what? All the trying to unlearn the belief structures around the colonization of Black hair for what? What did we teach ourselves fr? How did we make things any easier for Black Women and little Black girls? It’s tragic af. The Natural Hair Community/Movement is dead, it seems like. I don’t think we fought hard enough to prevent what happened to it honestly :\

[t7-01]

is it true??? could it be??? i’m back folks, and so is the clone dad jango au with part 11! masterpost

hondo ohnaka is not a man who knows how to manage children. he's good with them, but that's mostly because he has a natural way with people - anytime he meets a child he has to interact with, he spends most of his time guessing and hoping he's right.

hondo ohnaka finds jango fett's identical children fucking terrifying, but hell if he's going to let any of them know that. the two he met on florrum, the ones who called themselves 24 and 10 (although 10 is apparently fox now, go figure), stand firm in front of the rest, arms crossed, unimpressed expressions matching perfectly like some kind of little action figures.

like hondo said, terrifying.

"our dad didn't say anything about credits," says 24, lip curled in barely-contained disgust. what hondo ever did to them he doesn't have the slightest clue, free booze and a new pet and this is how the brats treat him? well, that is to be expected, he supposes - their father can be supremely ungrateful when he feels like it.

"let's chalk it up to a miscommunication, eh?" hondo says. "jango would not want his boys scamming dear old hondo! so, let me see the nearest data chip, and we can get this all squared away, lickety-split." his tone is friendly enough but he makes sure to let his hand rest near his blaster - he's not planning on shooting jango's boys, of course, but he gets the feeling that they only respond well to methods involving a show of force. 24's eyes flick to the blaster, then back to hondo.

"our dad already paid you on florrum," 24 says coldly, and hondo's eyes narrow. "he gave us permission to kill you if you came around here begging," fox adds. it's almost certainly a lie, but then, hondo's lying about the payment issue, so he supposes lies are only fair play at this point. still, the threat makes his men tense, has them taking a few menacing steps forwards. the boys don't so much as flinch.

"big mouth for a little kid," growls goru, hondo's favorite loveable idiot who tends to act as muscle on account of his being Enormous. one of the boys, one hondo has yet to meet, takes a menacing step forward of his own, coming up roughly to goru's navel and staring the larger man down without a hint of fear.

"big body for a tiny brain," the boy replies coldly. for a tense moment, no one moves - and then hondo laughs so hard he has to rest his one hand on his knee, the other on goru's massive shoulder.

"ah, you truly are your father's sons!" hondo cries through shaking laughter, his men relaxing as he slings an arm around the brave boy's shoulder. "come, come, no need for this nasty business, bah! you boys have a new ship to explore! a house to show me! we will discuss business later, yes?"

"there's nothing to discuss," says 24. "you're not getting any more credits." but hondo waves him away in favor of chatting amicably with jango's other sons - who, it turns out, are only about half as prickly as the two who had visited florrum. he finds out the one with the smart mouth is called ponds, who actually has a pretty even temperament, even apologizing to goru on the way to the homestead.

("why are we taking him back to the house?" fox grumbles. 24 shrugs jerkily, also unhappy with this turn of events, and mentally hopes rex and boba are well-hidden. maybe he can keep them from having to interact with this idiotic pirate.)

"rexy!" keeli calls. "we have guests!" 24 smacks his forehead.

"ah, look at this one, how polite!" hondo says delightedly, patting keeli on the head. keeli positively beams. "rex, is it? my boy, do you know where your father keeps his spotchka?"

"we don't have alcohol in the house," 36 lies easily. (24, personally, breathes a sigh of relief that not all of his brothers have lost their minds). "but if you bring us some from your ship, maybe we don't have to mention your little scam attempt to our dad," adds 36. (okay, that's it, 24's having a serious family meeting with his so-called brothers after ohnaka leaves).

"ha!" says hondo, waggling a finger at 36. "you drive a hard bargain, but why not, eh? goru! get back to the ship! get something top shelf for these boys, you understand? top! shelf!"

("what is happening?" 24 bemoans, looking at his brothers like he doesn't know them. it's fox's turn to shrug. "maybe we shouldn't have told 36 and bly that we got to try ohnaka's liquor," fox muses. 24 has to concede that the temporary bragging rights weren't worth the trouble.)

hondo bursts through the front door, ponds and keeli under each arm, and somehow finds the nearest coms unit with surprising ease, tuning into a radio station and blasting music throughout the house. 24 thinks he’s going to be sick. keeli is absolutely cutting a rug to what hondo calls “real music, my boys, real music!”

by the time goru returns with the booze, 24 sinks into the chair jango normally takes, the picture of defeat, but not before sternly informing rex and keeli that if they go near the alcohol he’ll dye their hair pink. rex crosses his arms, looking very much like their father in that moment.

“i’ve had weird hair for as long as i’ve been alive,” rex tells him, and 24 really doesn’t know where the attitude is coming from, “you’re going to have to make better threats than that.” “i think pink hair would be cool!” keeli adds unhelpfully. “then i’ll shave something stupid into your hair,” 24 says instead. rex and keeli look at each other and nod.

“okay,” rex agrees, handing 24 boba, who peers around the room with interest, “no alcohol.”

a little ways down the road, piik sant makes his way to the fett homestead, surprised to see a pair of unfamiliar ships at the edge of the property. he tries to shrug off his concern, but internally is thankful he left cyelle with her grandparents. if there's strangers at the fett house, they could be dangerous - better he feels them out alone.

the poor man doesn't have a clue what he's walking into.

hello everyone! sorry for the delay - i had a rough go of things for a while, but i’m back and more passionate about the clone dad jango au than ever! these next parts will be kind of silly before we reach the serious and daunting task ahead of jango, which will involve plenty of twists and turns and little heartbreaks. hopefully y’all enjoy this little update! thanks for reading!

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tagging: @thealghulwaynes