#turns out complete silence when the main issue is lack of communication is in fact a bad idea... who coulda thunk it

[the-king-of-lemons]

..

[burnedbyshoto]

spiral

— Honestly, what could go wrong when you’re lusting over your close friend and you’re locked in a box with only one way to get out? Well, not a lot, honestly.

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pairing: kaibara sen x fem!reader

warnings: smut, 18+, gloryhole, dirty talk, praise, fingering, sexual tension, reader is a pervert, quirk use during sex (spinning cock lol)

word count: 2,695

a/n: this is the second gloryhole fic ive written, but its completely different from the last time because its like not a cult fic LMAO!!! anyways, I think yall basic shouto and bakugou stans could do well to stan this class 1-b man because when I tell you he is another deviation of the two of them personality wise.... I mean it! 

day 5 main kink: gloryhole

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If you had known precisely what you had just gotten yourself into right now three hours ago, you would have laughed at yourself. Without a doubt, there was no questioning that the predicament you had concealed yourself in was one that would bring you great shame once this wall was gone, but for now, you would deal with it.

At the bitter age of twenty, having graduated from the hero department over in Shiketsu High, you had been almost shocked when you were reached out upon by the graduating class over at Yuuei, to come and join their agency. You had accepted it with caution, unsure if you could live a life paycheck to paycheck that was as new as they come. But, it was a decision you would come to never regret.

Or at least, not until right now. 

You had been on patrol with your coworker turned friend, Kaibara Sen, hero name: Spiral.

His quirk was an interesting one. A quirk that allowed him to gyrate -- spin -- every limb and ligament on his body. It caused some pretty asshole moves in close combat that not only stung with the piercing metal on his gloves but also sent you flying away. Countless amounts of times, you had pinned him only to spun around like a spinning top and slammed back into the practice mats.

You hated it.

Or well, you hated his quirk in a sensical way (note: do not attempt to beat him through a crowd, he always wins). In the nonsensical, coming of age brain of yours that had been for the most part silenced due to Shiketsu’s no-dating-policy, but as you grew fond of your coworker, frequent workout buddy and sparring partner, you couldn’t help but wonder just if… well… if he could spin his cock.

You would be lying if you said you had never imagined what it could feel like. You wondered if his cock was curved, or if it was straight. Would the veins be prominent? Too many times, when watching quirk-plot porn videos, you found your mind lingering onto his ability, which leads you to scream into a pillow, your hormones both skyrocketing and plummeting in your horror. 

You weren’t a perv, you like to remind yourself as you changed into your hero costume. It was merely a rational, human thought! Humans were curious beings, after all! Sure, Kaibara was attractive, and his voice was… so low, deep, and raspy that sometimes you would try to – NOPE NOT A PERV!

Blazing hot cheeks drummed in time with your hammering heart as you finished dressing, hoping to get out and clear your mind with helping out the community as a hero! You were a hero!

Not a perv!

Nodding to yourself in the mirror located in your designated locker, you slammed it close and left.

Unfortunately for you, or fortunately, Kaibara was already dressed in his costume and waved at you in greeting as you approached him.

“Afternoon.”

“Yeah, yeah, shut up!” you flustered, your back stiffening as you continued to stomp ahead, readying to leave the stupid agency and get your afternoon rounds done. 

You weren’t a pervert!

With three years since graduating from high school, three years of this agency having been founded, and three years of becoming friends with the esteemed and infamous class 1-A and 1-B from Yuuei, you had learned one thing for sure. This group of Yuuei students seemed to attract the worse kind of trouble like a moth to a lamp.

Without a doubt, you knew that was the reason why you had Kaibara somehow ended up in this horrible, ridiculous quirk from a child that just so happened to manifest their quirk out in the open. And of course, it would be the most humiliating shit to ever happen in the entire world of quirk apparitions.

“Uh, the mother said it’s probably the father’s quirk!” came the apologetic, nearing frantic voice of Deku from outside the steel box both you and Kaibara were trapped in. 

You couldn’t even see Kaibara’s face, and the perv in you screamed over the lack of even having his body pressed against yours! No! Nothing! As a matter of fact, there was a divider between you and Kaibara, a giant wall with a hole near your crotch area.

“I can’t believe you idiots got yourselves trapped in this!” came the amused, annoyed, and somehow antagonizing voice of Ground Zero. 

“Shut up!” you screamed back. “They looked at us, and it happened! It’s not like we touched the kid!”

“Y/h/n,” Kaibara’s voice sighed, and you felt your face ignite at the sighful tone on his raspy, deep voice. You pouted at the slight scold in his manner and felt yourself looking down in shame as he continued. “Don’t argue with Ground Zero. Hey, Deku, how we get out of this?”

The both of you were silent for some time, the outside world quiet as you waited for an answer.

“Oh, um, I don’t think you’re going to like it…” Deku’s voice laughed awkwardly from outside the box, and you frowned.

“Just tell us.”

“I-It’s uh… it’s a quirk called Gloryhole!” Deku squeaked, and just as you knew the successful and well-recognized pro hero outside of this box was undoubtedly red in the face, you felt your already warm face turn into an inferno. “I-I-It’s exactly… ohmygod!”

“The shitnerd is apparently a fucking perv and can’t finish his stupid sentence. Anyways, this quirk only works on shits like you with unresolved sexual tension and only removes after you use it,” Ground Zero’s voice barked from outside the walls.

“KACCHAN!”

“Shut up, Deku!” Ground Zero fired right back, and you could feel your body trembling at the news. Oh no, your perverted mind finally caught up to you in the worst of ways?! Although he did say unresolved sexual tension, that could totally be onesided, right? “We’ll be back in an hour, get it done, or fucking else.”

They left you, and you realized that despite your panicking pitched breathes, there was no noise coming from Kaibara’s side.

Oh no, this was all your fault! 

Oh no, oh no, oh no!

“You, uh,” Kaibara spoke softly, and you felt your hands clutch onto the fabric above your breasts. “You have unresolved sexual tension with me?”

“No,” you denied immediately, your forehead crashing against the barrier between you and Kaibara at the blatant, stupid lie. “Yes. Ugh, I do, but that wasn’t something I was planning on telling you!”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s embarrassing? What was I supposed to say when you pin me against mats during sparring sessions? ‘Hey, Kaibara, does your cock also spin? If so, can you fuck me with it?’”

You slap your hand across your mouth, eyes going wide in your panicked embarrassment. That mouth of yours was genuinely going to get your tongue cut off or lips sewn together one day.

It’s silent for a bit, but there’s a sound of clothes ruffling. The rate of your heartbeat seemed to increase exponentially as you saw something shift from the view you had of the Gloryhole. “Well, if you want to find out, I’ll be more than willing to give you a demonstration.”

The pervert you may or not be did not hesitate to respond back.

“Please?”

And you watched as his shadowed figure approached the hole, and a pink-headed cock pushed through the hole into your side. You watched with a gaping jaw at the still-growing cock before you. Without a doubt, it was more than seven inches and was glorious, gravity defyingly curved upwards. It was proud as it was thick, and you watched as the underneath of his cock scraped across the bottom.

A soft grunt strangled in his throat at the cold, rough sensation, and you watched a small, glistening bead of pre-cum appear from the slit on his head. You’re not sure how quickly you dropped to your knees, but you did know that your mouth took him on completely. Within the first drop of your mouth on his cock, you enveloped at least half of his cock in your mouth. A loud bang hit the wall, and you felt a warmth in your chest, knowing that you had already affected him.

Your lips and mouth glided against his length, your tongue pressing and lapping at the underneath of the head of his cock, trying to cock to become as hard as it could be, because it was still growing. A particular needy, near sloppy suck of yours, sent a loud, dizzying guttural noise from Kaibara’s side. A noise that sent liquid heat spilling into your cunt as your hand gripped the base of his cock, bobbing your head slowly, as leisurely as you would allow yourself.

His taste was indescribable, faint yet had you licking his length for more, trying to cover your tongue in his pre-cum. 

But the issue with a proud curving upwards cock, was that you found it awkward to choke yourself down his impossibly stubborn curve as he began to thrust his hips to meet your mouth and travel into your throat. Grunt, gasps, and growls seemed to be growing in volume and repetition on his side of the wall as you relaxed your throat, chokes, and gags sounding wet and sloppy on your side. 

“Fuck, just like that, wait up,” Kaibara moaned, a thud coming straight above your own head, letting you know that he had pressed his head against the wall. The thumping of his hips on the wall was slowly becoming musical, white noise as you bobbed your head further along his length, throat vibrating with your need to make him feel good. And the weirdest, most surprised splutter came from your throat as his cock spun in direction.

Once curved upwards, making it nearly impossible in the space to take his cock all the way down your throat, was now downcurved. It stretched your jaw out entirely as he didn’t bother to pull away to do it, and your throat stretched out in a way you had never experienced before as you coughed and staggered against his length. But, it was a pain that made your clit throb and allowed his cock to go even further down your throat.

You did what you could only do once your throat stopped hurting, and the sheer pleasure of having your throat stretched out in a more desirably wait set in: you moaned.

It was a long, pitchy noise that you swore you could feel against the steel wall that your free hand supported you against. Your toes curled at the way his intensely thrusting hips faltered for a moment, undoubtedly turned on by your noise if the twitch in his cock said anything about it. You moaned again, and again, and again. You continued to do so against his snapping hips until Kaibara was practically snarling your name with the intention and muttered promises of what he would do to you once the barrier was gone. 

Your mind was gone at the point, the promises of fucking you against the window of his apartment that overlooked the Tokyo skyline had you shoving the pants off your hero costume down. Your hand on his cock tightening in its grip, but the one manipulating your pants off, sunk into your cunt, thumb on your clit. 

A mewl left your lips as you began to play with your wet heat, and you drove your mouth and head closer to the hole, enthusiastically taking him in further and further. 

“Imma fuck you so good when we get fucking out of here,” Kaibara promised, teeth undoubtedly pulled into a snarl, his thrusting in bizarre speeds as you tried to keep some piece of sanity as you continued to finger fuck yourself, all too pleased with him absolutely using your mouth. But, you registered his words just well enough to respond back, choking an agreeing noise as you bobbed your head enthusiastically. “Had I known you just wanted that slutty pussy of yours to be fucked, I would’ve done this with you ages ago. Would’ve pinned you down on that mat, and claimed your cunt as my prize.” Your eyes rolling back in your hormone-induced euphoria, your own dirty fantasies having played that scene in your mind countless times. “I want to hear you choke on my cock more, I want to hear the saliva and drool leaving your mouth. I know you’re fucking your cunt, so do it well enough you’re moaning like a paid prostitute. I promise you, I’ll make sure you never want to see another cock again that isn’t mine!”

A choking, hiccuped, and wet breath expelled from your mouth, and you hadn’t even realized you were crying at the moment. But, you agreed, head bobbing in your agreement.

And so, it continued. 

You pushed forward, his length reaching new depths of your throat until you had your nose smashed against the metal, cold wall. Your throat manipulatively squeezing and milking his throbbing cock, tongue, and teeth rubbing against his protruding veins until Kaibara was stuttering out your broken first name. 

The wet noises of his saliva drenched cock meeting your drooling throat and mouth grew louder with every slap, and you wanted more. You needed more.

“Fuck, y/n, you take me s-so fucking good. I think you have me entirely in your mouth like the fucking little pervert you are,” Kaibara hotly laughed, a soft thudding from near your chin sending your mind in a feral daze of how it was probably his balls. “Doing so well with my directions, you really do deserve to be fucked properly after this.”

A low, lewd whine strangled from your throat, your hot, swollen lips sucking harshly against the base of his cock as he continues drilling, and the melodic moans from his mouth made it all worth the fact your lips and nose are starting to tingle from the sufficient lack of oxygen. But it’s also your curling, pumping fingers in your cunt that add onto the headrush you get, the slick and essence coating and dripping from your pounding fingers send you into a series of keen and mewls against his cock. And you can perfectly find each sweet little pleasure spot. 

You were close, and by the consistent twitching and throbbing of his cock and the thick coating of precum on your tongue, Kaibara was too.

With your impending orgasm, you felt your body begin to tense up, shaking, and moaning with the tipping sensation you loved. And Kaibara, entirely lost in his own passionate, horny endeavors, shook as he slammed into you again, again, and again.

With a fiery determination, your cheeks hollowed out on his length as he pulled out, a resonating “fuck!” screamed from his lips as your tongue swiped at the salty silt on his cock, and it was all over.

You came on your fingers with a loud, pitchy scream, and thick, hot ropes of cum spurted from his cock onto your awaiting mouth, dirtying your face slightly in his heavy ejaculation. Swallowing the cum, a shiver ran down your spine as you quickly cleaned the remaining cum on his cock. Slowly, you removed the fingers in your cunt, and you shuddered at the pulsating heat form your core as you dropped to the floor as his soft cock disappeared from the hole. 

Laughing softly, you looked up at the ceiling of the box that was slowly disappearing, allowing fresh air to enter the sex smelling box.

“So, how about dinner?” Kaibara asked, and you chuckled, running a hand through your abused face.

“I don’t think I’m hungry.”

“No?”

“You might’ve proved you can spiral your cock,” you began, turning your head to look at Kaibara, who was collapsed on the floor, barely put together as the two of you locked eyes. “But I still would like to try it out for real while you properly fuck me. After that, if I’m hungry for food, I’d love to go for dinner.”

He laughed, his hand running through his sweaty locks.

“Sounds like a deal to me.”

[secretshinigami]

making the most of it

Author: @realtruesuccessor For: @yagami-raito-kun Pairings/Characters: Near | Nate River/Yagami Light, background Linda/Matsuda, Near | Nate River, Yagami Light, Linda (Death Note), Matsuda Touta, Watari Rating/Warnings: Teen and Up Audiences, No Archive Warnings Apply, just typical superhero/action movie stuff Prompt: Near is a superhero, Light is a supervillain, they get set up on a blind double date and have to roll with it to protect their secret identities Author’s notes: This was super fun to write! Thank you for the amazing prompt! I hope this is what you were looking for, and that you enjoy it!

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Nate River had never given much thought to the idea of romance. He had experienced fleeting crushes in the past, but never any serious feelings, and he had never even been kissed at the ripe old age of eighteen. There were much more pressing issues in his life besides the lack of social milestones, so Nate wasn’t too concerned about his deficits in romantic experience. 

  Unfortunately, his roommate Linda did not have the same opinion. 

  “You’re going to die alone if you keep this up.”

  Nate looked up from the small toy robot that had been occupying his attention before Linda opened her mouth. “You’ll have to be more specific.”

  Linda sighed, crossing her arms over her chest. “I’ve never seen you go on a date,” she said, as if that clarified anything. 

  “So?”

  “So, you’ll end up alone and unhappy unless you find yourself a nice man.”

  Nate raised an eyebrow, and he lifted his hand to curl a finger around a strand of wavy white hair. “You’re making an awful lot of bold assumptions.”

  “Am I wrong?”

  Nate paused, took a moment to consider the brief crushes he had in the past, and then admitted a small concession. “Not about my preference for men, but about my impending lonely fate? That remains to be seen.”

  Linda approached Nate’s spot on the floor, where he was surrounded by tiny action figures. She sat down next to him, and picked up a small gray object from the circle of toys around him. “I’m worried about you, Nate,” she explained. “You’re always holed up in your room, messing around with these toys, but I think you should get out more and I have the perfect idea to help with that.”

  Eyeing the object in her hand, Nate uncurled his finger from his hair. He reached over and plucked the tiny gray circle from her grasp, then stuffed the item into his pocket. “Your concern is noted,” he said, perhaps a bit too sharp. “Unfortunately for you, I disagree.”

  “Can you hear me out, at least?” 

  “You’ve given me no compelling reason to do that, so the answer is no. Please leave me alone.”

  Silence rang throughout the apartment, echoing with the sting of Linda’s hurt feelings. Nate didn’t feel sorry in the least; in fact, he felt entirely justified. After all, Linda had barged into his room and insulted his lifestyle. He was in the right to be short and snappy with her.

Nate watched impassively as Linda’s face fell. His roommate’s usually bright smile turned into a sullen frown, and her blue eyes became downcast. If Nate had been a different sort of person, he might have been moved by this display, but as it was, Linda’s wounded emotions did nothing to stir his heart or change his mind. 

  “Well, that’s disappointing,” Linda muttered, her voice small and hurt.

  “I have no idea why you’re suddenly so invested in my romantic life, but whatever your reasons, you brought this on yourself by disparaging my hobbies.”

  “Okay, okay, I guess you’re right. I should have gone about this in a different way.”

  “Yes, you should have, but there’s no changing the past and no use lingering on this topic anymore. Weren’t you leaving?”

  With a heavy sigh, Linda got up and left Nate to his own devices.

  ~

  The city was dark at night, lit only by the occasional street lamp.

  “Where is the tracker now, Watari?”

  Near made his way through the gloomy city streets, dodging the warm circles of light cast by the lampposts. He stuck to dark, shadowy corners like glue, crouching behind parked cars and navigating narrow alleyways. 

  A voice crackled over the communication device in Near’s ear. “One block away, Near,” Watari said. “The location is pinging from that abandoned grocery store on the corner.”

  As Near approached the store, he tugged his dark cowl down over his hair and eyes, shielding them from view. The streets were mostly empty, but he didn’t want to risk being identified, even by the vagrants who frequented this part of the city in the dead of night. After all, his white hair and gray eyes were rather distinctive. If Near ever let his guard down, it wouldn’t take a genius to eventually trace the actions of the vigilante Near back to the identity of one Nate River.

  “Alright, I’m standing in front of the store now.”

  “Yes, thank you. The tracker you placed on that nasty fellow is still pinging from inside that building.”

  “Hmm, I really do hope this doesn’t end in physical violence. You know how much I hate fighting.”

  “I’m aware of that, and I also know that you’ve had a very long night already, but at least Lidner will be pleased to hear that you were finally able to put some of her training to good use.”

  Near made a face. His mouth twisted into a displeased frown. “That’s not funny.”

  “I wasn’t trying to be funny, I’m being completely serious. She’ll love to hear that you fought off a villain with a stick.”

  “First of all, this isn’t exactly a stick. It’s a bō,” Near corrected. “Second of all, perhaps you’re correct. She seems to puff up with pride whenever I acknowledge her skills.”

  “Yes, people tend to do that when you pay them a compliment.”

  Ignoring Watari’s snark, Near began the task of sneaking into the dark building. He crept forward, towards the front of the store, keeping low to the ground. There wasn’t any light coming from the windows or the door, but Near had learned from experience that one could never be too careful when dealing with villains. The building seemed lifeless and empty from the outside, but there could be traps set inside - or even the villain himself, tracker and all. So, Near was sure to be stealthy as he peeked into the store from a low, dirty window.

  The interior of the old shop seemed to be exactly what Near had expected. Mostly empty, save for a few shelves, and thick layers of dust covering every visible surface. Clearly, the store hadn’t been active in many years. It was the perfect place for squatters to take refuge - or for mysterious villains to set up a hideout. 

  “Best entrance route?” Near asked, eyeing the door in the corner of the shop, which appeared to lead somewhere deeper into the building. If Near had to guess, he would say that the door probably led to some sort of old office or employee break room. The door was dark and heavy-looking, with a shiny silver knob that could have easily been rigged with a villainous trap. 

  “You mean, besides walking right through the front door?” Watari teased.

  “Watari, please, this is serious.”

  “Alright, alright, I understand, I’m searching for an aerial view now.”

  As Near waited for Watari’s next message, he took another look around the interior of the store. None of the dust seemed to be disturbed; the floor and the shelves all appeared to be completely untouched by human feet or hands, at least for the past few months. 

  Still, Near considered, the room could be monitored with hidden cameras and microphones. Best that I don’t use the main entrance unless there’s no other option.

  “According to the aerial view, there’s a skylight towards the back of the building,” Watari announced. 

  Near frowned, and reached up to rub a strand of his own white hair between two fingers. “I don’t see a skylight from my current location, so the skylight must lead into the back room of the store. I can skip the main shop area entirely.”

  “Well, that works out nicely.”

  About fifteen minutes later, Near found himself on top of the roof, breathing heavily from exertion. “I’m never doing that again,” he managed in between gulps of air. 

  “Never say never, Near.”

  After catching his breath, Near approached the skylight and peered through it. The bright moon illuminated the room beneath the glass, casting everything in a soft white glow. Through the skylight, Near could see the back room of the shop, which appeared mostly empty, save for a wooden desk. 

  “I’m entering the building now,” Near said, reaching to unlatch the skylight.

  “Wait, Near!” Watari cried out, at the exact same time an unfamiliar voice whispered: “I wouldn’t do that if I were you.”

  Near whipped around, bringing up his bō staff in a fluid motion.

  A masked man stood before Near, with his gloved hands raised in mock surrender. 

  “Who are you?” Near asked, his tone dark and serious. 

  The man smirked, then nodded to one of his hands. A familiar, small gray object rested between the fingers of his red leather-covered hand. 

  The tracker.

  “Shit,” Near muttered under his breath.

  “Looking for this?” The man asked, sounding carefree and quite pleased with himself. His voice was slightly deeper than Near had imagined, but it suited him just the same.

  On impulse, Near jabbed at the mysterious villain with his staff.

  As though he moved through the shadows, the man expertly evaded Near’s attack. He dodged, twisted, and kicked out. His dark boot landed in the center of Near’s chest, pushing the hero back. 

  Near stumbled back, tripping over his own feet. His ankle hit something behind him, probably a ledge of some kind, and suddenly, he was falling. He felt a sinking feeling in his stomach as the world warped around him. 

  Like something out of a movie, Near found himself falling in slow motion - legs bending, glass cracking from somewhere behind him, his body descending further and further into darkness. 

  Before Near could even process what was happening, the villain turned away. His silhouette was illuminated by the bright backdrop of the moon. He glanced over his shoulder as Near fell through the skylight. His brown eyes sparkled with the dual flickers of triumph and pride.

  The villain’s smug grin was the last thing Near saw before darkness enveloped him completely. 

  ~

  “I can’t believe you finally roped me into this nonsense,” Nate River said. 

  Linda and Nate sat on a bench together, as the sky darkened and the air became thin and cold. She wore a coat and a light scarf over her dress, while he was dressed in only a collared button-up shirt and comfortable pants. The bright yellow bulbs from the nearby carnival casted the two roommates in a soft glow. Despite the warm light, Nate shivered, and Linda looked around frantically; her foot was tapping incessantly against the hard concrete of the sidewalk. 

  “Yes, well, this nonsense is going to do wonders for your social life, if those silly boys ever show up,” Linda said, glancing down at her phone with a frown. 

  Nate rolled his eyes. “First of all, my social life is perfectly satisfying as it is, thank you very much. Second of all, I’m sure they’ll be here any minute now.”

  “I guess you’re right about that second thing,” Linda conceded, pointing towards a pair of young Japanese men who were quickly approaching their bench. “And we’ve already been over the first thing.”

  The two men arrived at their bench, and Nate got a good look at both of them for the first time. One of the men, whom Linda greeted as ‘Matsuda’, had dark hair and big brown eyes that suited his handsome face and gentle expression. The other man was introduced as Light Yagami, a close friend of Matsuda’s and a fellow Japanese exchange student. Light’s hair was significantly lighter than Matsuda’s, and although his eyes were a similar shade of brown, his gaze spoke of a sharp intelligence that far exceeded his bumbling friend.

  Nate knew those eyes.

  That attractive pair of brown eyes had smirked at him, only a few nights ago, on a moon-drenched rooftop.

  “Light Yagami, was it?” Nate clarified, his eyes traveling over every inch of Light’s pretty face. “It’s a pleasure to meet you.”

  After a beat, Light smiled at Nate. His smile was polite, but had an air of deceptive falseness about it. There was something lurking underneath the surface of that mask - some dark and dangerous secret that only Nate could truly see. 

  “It’s a pleasure to see you too, Nate,” Light said. His voice was familiar to Nate, just as deep and attractive as Nate remembered.

  Unlike Matsuda, Light spoke English with a near-perfect American accent. 

  As Linda pulled Matsuda towards the carnival, Nate fell into step beside Light. The pair of them walked in silence for a bit, each of them calmly observing their surroundings. Nate noticed that the lights from the carnival complimented Light’s warm brown hair very well; his pretty locks seemed almost golden under the electric buzz of the soft outdoor string lights. Not even Linda’s incessant babbling could distract Nate from his careful observation of Light Yagami’s lustrous hair.

  Suddenly, Light tore his gaze away from a crowd of people near the food vendors. As the group he had been watching moved on, Light turned his head to face Nate and looked at him - truly looked at him - for the first time. 

  “Are you cold, Nate?” Light asked, glancing down at Nate’s chest. 

  Nate could see that Light’s preppy jacket protected him from the slight chill of the night air. After all, Light wasn’t shivering at all, whereas Nate couldn’t help but tremble at the brush of a breeze against his pale skin. He really, really couldn’t help it - he had always been sensitive to temperature changes, ever since he was a young child. It wasn’t a particularly debilitating condition, but it could sometimes be annoying. 

  Such as, right now.

  Nate’s brain was suddenly filled with images of Light offering him his jacket, like a scene straight out of a cheesy romance movie from the 1980s. 

  “No,” Nate said, like a liar. “I’m not cold.”

  “If you insist. In that case, perhaps you’re simply eager for this double date to be over with, so you can go home?”

  Nate raised an eyebrow, suddenly very thankful that Linda and Matsuda had moved out of earshot. “That’s awfully observant of you.”

  Light shook his head, and a small smile crept onto his face. “No, I’m just projecting a bit, I think.”

  “Ah, I see. So, you don’t want to be here either.”

  “That’s correct. Matsuda wanted me to come along though, and I had no good reason to say no. If I had alternate plans, trust me, I wouldn’t be anywhere near this place.”

  “You couldn’t have said that you were studying, or something like that?”

  Once again, Light shook his head. He glared at a flimsy-looking carnival ride. “Matsuda is my roommate, and one of my oldest friends from back home in Japan. We also share many classes together, and he knows my schedule almost as well as he knows his own. He knows I don’t have any exams or major assignments coming up anytime soon.”

  “Hmm, I see, that must be difficult.”

  Light nodded. 

  A moment of awkward silence stretched between them, before Light broke the silence with a question.

  “And what about you, Nate? Why are you really here, if you’re not actually interested in dating?”

  “Similarly to yourself, I was compelled by my roommate to attend this little meeting. She made it clear that Mr. Matsuda wanted to go on a date with her, but he insisted on a double date, and so she needed me to step in and serve that role.”

  “That makes sense,” Light said, a smirk tugging at his lips. “Matsuda has always been anxious about romance and relationships with women, so he thought more company might take the edge off of his nervousness.”

  Nate glanced over at Linda and Matsuda, who were standing a few booths away, at one of the carnival games. Through the crowd of happy fairgoers, Nate could clearly see the wide smile on Linda’s face. Matsuda said something to her, and she threw her head back and laughed with abandon. Nate recalled Linda’s pleading face from earlier, when she had practically begged Nate to go on the date with her, and her appearance now was certainly a stark contrast to that face.

  Unable to stop the small smile from creeping onto his face, Nate turned away from Light. “Well, they seem to be having fun, so I suppose this night isn’t a complete waste of time.”

  Light nodded, eyeing one of the nearby game booths. “Perhaps we can have some fun as well?” He asked, gesturing to the booth.

  “You can’t be serious. I thought you didn’t want to be here.”

  “True, I’d love to just go home right now, but I can’t without letting my roommate down, so I might as well make the most of this night, right?”

  “I suppose you have a point.”

  With that, Nate and Light approached the game booth.

  Ten minutes later, Nate was holding a giant fluffy white bunny - a stuffed animal that Light had won at the silly dart game. 

  Nate frowned, staring down at the offending rabbit. “You’re better than me at darts,” he grumbled.

  Light chuckled. “No, I think I just got lucky,” he said, looking at Nate with a curious expression on his face. “Regardless, I hope you like it. Are you going to give it a name?”

  “Yes, as a matter of fact, I am,” Nate said. He stared at Light’s face, observing the other man with a careful attention to detail. “His name is Kira.”

  There was a beat of silence.

  “Oh? You figured that out rather quickly, didn’t you?” 

  Nate nodded, then glanced away. Light’s expression and words told him everything that he needed to know.

  “And? What are you going to do with Kira, now that you have him?” Light asked, his voice laced with double meaning.

  Scoffing, Nate hugged the bunny closer to his chest, and continued to avoid Light’s gaze. “I’ll turn him over to the proper authorities, of course.”

  It was Light’s turn to scoff. “You won’t do that.”

  “Why not?”

  “Because Kira is helping society, and also, you’re wildly attracted to me.”

  Nate almost dropped the stuffed rabbit. He turned towards Light, and a soft pink blush spread across his cheeks. His eyes went wide.

  “Kira kills people,” Nate managed, cursing himself.

  “Only rotten people,” Light corrected. “This world is rotten, but Kira is making it better, so good people can live happy and peaceful lives.”

  Nate shook his head. “Murdering a few corrupt politicians and businessmen isn’t going to magically make the system just or right. All it does is make Kira a murderer.”

  “Hmm, well, if Kira is simply a murderer and a villain in your eyes, what about that vigilante? Near, wasn’t it?”

  “Near doesn’t kill people.”

  “Yet, the police are still hunting him with the same energy that they use to hunt Kira. Isn’t that interesting? I imagine they’d be grateful to receive any hint of Near’s true identity, no matter the source of the information.”

  Well, that was a threat.

  At that exact moment, Linda rushed up to them, holding a plate full of funnel cake. “Come on, guys, Matsu bought me this cake and I can’t eat it all on my own! Share it with me!” 

  Nate looked from the cake, to Light, and then back to the cake. After a moment of hesitation, he reached up and grabbed a small piece of fried dough from the plate. He held the piece up towards Light’s lips. 

  “Here,” Nate prompted. “Have you ever tried funnel cake before?”

  Light’s eyes widened, and he stared at Nate in disbelief. “No, I haven’t,” he admitted, shocked and quiet. 

  Nate held the cake up a little closer to Light’s face, and Light leaned forward slightly, meeting him halfway. When Light took the cake into his mouth, his lips brushed lightly over Nate’s fingers. The lips were warm, and felt almost electric against Nate’s skin. Nate resisted the urge to shiver. Something deep and primal was stirring inside of him, something that he couldn’t really place, but certainly didn’t feel familiar. 

  Something that made him want to be closer to Light Yagami, despite the knowledge of his date’s true identity. 

  From that point onwards, the date proceeded normally for the most part. Nate and Light attempted to act naturally around Linda and Matsuda, saving all double-life talk for later. After all, neither of them wanted to duke it out in front of their roommates, or the dozens of other citizens strolling around nearby. So, they made more polite conversation as Linda and Matsuda dragged them around to different booths and rides.

  Finally, the night seemed to be reaching an end. Linda and Matsuda had snuck off somewhere, presumably to say goodbye to each other properly before parting ways. Nate and Light were left alone, near an empty patch of grass. 

  An awkward silence hung between them, not for the first time that night. Nate wasn’t exactly sure what to say, or if he should say anything at all. He couldn’t exactly leave the carnival and go turn Light over to the police - for one, he didn’t have any physical or concrete evidence that Light was the villain known as Kira, and perhaps even more concerning, Light had vaguely threatened to out him to the cops if he was ever caught. All of which put Nate in a very uncertain position: he knew the identity of the villain Kira, but wasn’t in any position to do anything about it.

  Light cleared his throat, which drew Nate’s attention. When Nate glanced over, he saw that Light was staring at him with another odd expression on his face, a look that Nate couldn’t really identify. 

  “What?” Nate asked, shifting uncomfortably, and clutching the stuffed bunny tighter against his chest.

  “I--”

  Whatever Light had begun to say was cut off with a sharp BANG! 

  Nate nearly jumped out of his own skin. His upper body grew very tense, very quickly, and he shuffled closer to Light. 

  On what must have been some kind of protective instinct, Light reached out and put his arm around Nate’s shoulders. “It’s okay,” Light said, suddenly calm and soothing. “It’s just the fireworks.”

  “Fireworks? Linda didn’t say there would be fireworks.”

  “Maybe she didn’t know? I take it you’re not a fan of loud, sudden noises, huh?”

  Nate shook his head. “I’m not a fan of them in the best of times, and these happen to be the worst of times, so you can only imagine how I feel in this moment.”

  Light winced, and pulled his arm away. Nate found, quite strangely, that he missed the subtle warmth and pressure of Light’s hand on his body, even though it had only been there for a short while.

  “I want to apologize,” Light said softly, barely audible over the continued explosions from the fireworks. 

  “For what?” Nate asked, genuinely confused.

  “For your tumble through the skylight. I know you seem to be fine now, but I’m sure falling through a window and landing on a hard floor hurts like hell at first.”

  Nate blinked. “Yes, it does. And no, I don’t accept your apology, because I don’t believe you’re actually sorry for what you’ve done, or for what you continue to do.”

  Light didn’t respond to that, only gazing at Nate in an impressed silence.

  Suddenly, Linda and Matsuda reappeared, both of them pink-cheeked and out of breath. Before Nate and Light could say much more to each other, they’re both pulled away by their respective roommates, pulled apart, and brought home.

  ~

  At home, in the quiet and darkness of his room, Nate felt a strange mixture of relief and disappointment. 

  A sudden buzz lit up his phone, and he glanced down without thinking - only to see a text from an unknown number splashed across his screen. He read the message silently, and then smiled softly to himself. 

  Nate knew that he would eventually be the one to bring Light Yagami to justice, regardless of the cost to himself. But he still had to gather evidence to prove his case, and in the meantime, well...why not have some fun and make the most of it?

[vital-information]

How to Fiction Like a Grown-up

“in SKAM, everyone has a purposefully acknowledged percentage of sheer ignorance, things they understand and things they reeeeally don’t...this is how real life works. nobody is the ideologically flawless character, teaching the ideologically backwards character that they are Wrong About Everything. everyone is pulling everyone up, everyone is making an idiot of themselves, everyone is learning....with SKAM over and over again, communication is highlighted as the best way to solve any issue. it gives a range of issues, yeah, but in the end it teaches HOW to deal with new issues, not simply a list of behaviors not to emulate. it’s never ‘don’t be That Guy,’ it’s ‘everyone can be That Guy sometimes, it’s gonna happen, you’re gonna be ignorant about something, but here is how you overcome and deal with it...’” — uninterestiing

“We can only attribute the ease and pleasure with which we ramble from house to smithy, from cottage parlour to rectory garden, to the fact that George Eliot makes us share their lives, not in a spirit of condescension or of curiosity, but in a spirit of sympathy. She is no satirist. The movement of her mind was too slow and cumbersome to lend itself to comedy. But she gathers in her large grasp a great bunch of the main elements of human nature and groups them loosely together with a tolerant and wholesome understanding which, as one finds upon rereading, has not only kept her figures fresh and free, but has given them an unexpected hold upon our laughter and tears.” — Virginia Woolf, “George Eliot”

“TV’s long taught its audience to expect an outsized amount of drama where there might not be as much in reality, even if only to milk every storyline for what it’s worth. But on Ted Lasso, potential landmines like seething jealousy, secret lust and Rebecca’s scheming only fester for so long before the characters deal with it all like….well, adults.” — Caroline Framke, “For Your Reconsideration: Ted Lasso” 

I told Miyazaki I love the "gratuitous motion" in his films; instead of every movement being dictated by the story, sometimes people will just sit for a moment, or they will sigh, or look in a running stream, or do something extra, not to advance the story but only to give the sense of time and place and who they are."We have a word for that in Japanese," he said. "It's called ma. Emptiness. It's there intentionally."Is that like the "pillow words" that separate phrases in Japanese poetry?"I don't think it's like the pillow word." He clapped his hands three or four times. "The time in between my clapping is ma. If you just have non-stop action with no breathing space at all, it's just busyness, But if you take a moment, then the tension building in the film can grow into a wider dimension. If you just have constant tension at 80 degrees all the time you just get numb."Which helps explain why Miyazaki's films are more absorbing and involving than the frantic cheerful action in a lot of American animation. I asked him to explain that a little more."The people who make the movies are scared of silence, so they want to paper and plaster it over," he said. "They're worried that the audience will get bored. They might go up and get some popcorn.But just because it's 80 percent intense all the time doesn't mean the kids are going to bless you with their concentration. What really matters is the underlying emotions--that you never let go of those.What my friends and I have been trying to do since the 1970's is to try and quiet things down a little bit; don't just bombard them with noise and distraction. And to follow the path of children's emotions and feelings as we make a film. If you stay true to joy and astonishment and empathy you don't have to have violence and you don't have to have action. They'll follow you. This is our principle."He has been amused, he said, to see a lot of animation in live-action movies like "Spider-Man." “In a way now, live action is becoming part of that whole soup called animation. Animation has become a word that encompasses so much, and my animation is just a little tiny dot over in the corner. It's plenty for me. — Roger Ebert, “Hayao Miyzaki Interview”

“The pilot’s opening scene foreshadowed the kind of quiet impressionism that Friday Night Lights would embrace, again and again, throughout its five excellent seasons. It also foreshadowed the approach that you might call the “friendly panopticon”: Everyone, here, is seen. And everyone, here, is capable of seeing....There are minor characters and major ones in all this, certainly—it would be narrative anarchy without that—but FNL, much more than most shows that preceded it, took for granted the dignity of each character in its universe. It rejected sitcomic snobbery in favor of a broader embrace of its wide array of characters. It turned empathy into an aesthetic.” — Megan Garber, “Friday Night Lights Democratized TV Drama”

“But the problem with readers, the idea we're given of reading is that the model of a reader is the person watching a film, or watching television. So the greatest principle is, "I should sit here and I should be entertained." And the more classical model, which has been completely taken away, is the idea of a reader as an amateur musician. An amateur musician who sits at the piano, has a piece of music, which is the work, made by somebody they don't know, who they probably couldn't comprehend entirely, and they have to use their skills to play this piece of music. The greater the skill, the greater the gift that you give the artist and that the artist gives you. That's the incredibly unfashionable idea of reading. And yet when you practice reading, and you work at a text, it can only give you what you put into it. It's an old moral, but it's completely true.” Zadie Smith, “Bookworm: On Beauty”

“It pains me to have to introduce this lot with a couple of adjectives apiece, since, again, they all deserve about 12. These beautifully drawn characters just can't be reduced or pigeonholed so glibly. Where you're expecting an exaggerated comedy of town-and-country manners, pitting pious, suspicious in-laws against the worldly, patronising [career woman], Junebug courageously demurs, time and again: we get a real home, and real people in it, and what's laugh-out-loud funny about scene after scene is what's resolutely specific and true.” — Tim Robey, “A Small, Quiet Miracle”

Doesn't she worry at the lack of explosions? [Robinson] laughs. "There's something in my temperament . . . I have a problem with explosions in the sense that many very fine books are written about things that do, in fact, explode. But if the explosion is something that's supposed to make the novel interesting as opposed to being something that it's essentially about, I think it's very much to be avoided...It seems to me that the small drama of conversation and thought and reflection, that is so much more individual, so much less clichéd than - I mean when people set out on an adventure, I think 90 times out of 100, they've read about it in a brochure  — Emma Brackes, “A Life in Writing: Marilynne Robinson”

[awed-frog]

Why has the trial taken this long to get to court? I did try googling this but couldn't find much info in English that wasnt very simplistic and my French just isnt that good :(

I was wondering the same thing, but there doesn’t seem to be any specific info on this subject. It’s like French media consider this to be an unremarkable, 100% normal delay - which it probably is. The French justice system is notoriously slow, and it takes anywhere from 11 to 20 months to see a judge (sometimes much longer: if the accused isn’t in prison, for instance, the time between you going to the police and the both of you appearing in court may stretch to three years or more). The reasons are mostly the same as everywhere else, and mostly boil down to lack of money and a byzantine legal system.

When it comes to Charlie, I think the issue is complicated further by a couple of other things.

1) The main accusers are dead. The actual murderers had been killed on the day of, which means those accused today are ‘minor’ accomplices - and three of them, arguably the ones who were most implicated, will be judged in absentia because no one knows where they are, or if they’re even alive.

2) Since the 1980s, trials about terrorism can’t have a popular jury to guarantee everyone’s safety (several jurors were threatened back then, so the French government decided it was too risky to have regular people implicated in this kind of trials). This means the number of ‘real’ judges goes up, for fairness’ sake, and thus the wheel of justice is even slower, because the number of qualified judges is not that high and they’re all overworked as it is.

3) This trial is more about historical memory and general catharsis than anything else. The strongest indication of this is that the entire thing will be filmed (which is exceptional in France) and that the court will hear hundreds of witnesses, but to be honest I also think the government actively wants to turn this into a feel-good Mass to try and hide its own responsibilities. It beggars belief, for instance, that 5 years’ worth of investigations could not establish the presence of a ‘mastermind’, and the source of the money and weapons the murderers used. And: as in other similar cases, some of the terrorists were actually known to the authorities, and apparently lots of mistakes were made there too.

(The guy from yesterday was also ‘known to the authorities’, as he had acquired illegal weapons as a minor, but apparently that wasn’t enough to warrant closer surveillance or anything.)

4) This trial is also, in the most cynical terms, a publicity stunt for the rule of law. One other reason the justice system is so slow is that it affords legal protection and representation to all the accused, even terrorists. This means in many cases, people who’ve committed heinous crimes have used taxpayers’ money to slow down justice and generally be a pain in the ass. But: while you can probably tell I have no sympathy for this behaviour, the alternative is far worse, as the State could (randomly) decide that, as this specific person is a terrorist, he or she doesn’t deserve a lawyer or anything else - and then what? The rule of law is officially suspended and democracies turn into dictatorships. So I think that, in a way, one of the goals of this trial is to hide and silence those voices who’re asking for a reform of the justice system in that direction; to show you can have a ‘proper’ trial with ‘proper’ punishment by respecting the current laws.  

5) And, again, I’m cynical and fed up, but I also think this trial is a bit of a smokescreen to make us forget the many problems the French government has no answer for. 

5.1) Problem one is that the situation of immigrants and minority communities in France is dismal and getting worse. Back in 2015, for instance, I remember reading one article - which was quickly buried and/or never mentioned by the big media - about the murderers’ childhood. It was a sobering, horrifying read. And while miserable childhood =/= becoming a terrorist, you have to wonder why the State allows for this kind of situations, and why we’re not looking after children and families a bit better.

(Also why despite its égalité claims, France is still a two-tiered system, with big city elites doing whatever they want and everyone else, especially rural communities and minorities, slowly drowning.)

5.2) Problem two is that when it comes to radical Islam and free speech, things are also bad and getting worse very fast. In fact, experts think the Charlie Hebdo massacre did nothing to turn the tide, and that since then things have deteriorated even more (a stupid example, but a few months ago a 16-yo girl was forced out of school for insulting Mohammed). And here again, the French government either fails to realize the problem, or doesn’t give a fuck, or doesn’t know what to do. We have reports of Maghreb-majority neighbourhoods turning into stateless entities, and we know many people living there are not at all happy with this but are powerless to stop it. We know a lot of money is coming in from Saudi Arabia and the Muslim Brotherhood. We know being a moderate Muslim is getting more and more difficult (people are harassed for selling alcohol or non halal food, women are attacked or spat at for dressing ‘immodestly’). We know more and more people are relying on foreign imams to answer the questions they have about their daily lives, and turning to religious courts for their disputes. We know well-funded and smartly managed ‘concerned parents’ groups’ are interfering in the public school system, objecting to lessons and activities that defy their worldview and often getting their way (think a complete stonewalling of science, evolution, American writers and poets, history, LGBT issues but also cultural visits to monasteries or churches). And we know radical groups are infiltrating cultural and political life, often using public money to advance their agenda and turn entire neighbourhoods inside out. And yet very little is done.

So the situation is complicated, and likely to get worse. This trial is going to weigh heavily on everyone’s minds, and it will be followed next year by the trial of another 2015 crime, the Bataclan attack. That is bound to be just as emotional, if not worse, and if you factor in the pandemic, the beginnings of the presidential campaign (elections are in 2022) and the general fuckery that’s going on everywhere...personally, I’m worried, scared and fed up. I think attacks against the freedom of the press and freedom of thought are a very serious issue, and it beggars belief we’re all stuck between the far right’s insanity and racism and the left’s stubborn determination not to act and not to see. Bar some miracle, I think things will get much worse before they get better. 

[96thdayofrage]

September 11’s Never-Ending Story

Looking back on two decades of media self-censorship, scapegoating and stenography

Remembering the Last US Retaliation Against Terror

by Jeff Cohen (Column, 9/14/01)

“Outrage is the natural and appropriate response to the mass murder of September 11. But media should not be glibly encouraging retaliatory violence without remembering that US retaliation has killed innocent civilians abroad, violated international law and done little to make us safer.”

Nightly News Glosses Over Anti-Terrorism Act

(Action Alert, 9/27/01)

“The report–which ends by saying that ‘no one really knows how much authority the new security czar will really have’–suggests that to stay safe, Americans must surrender liberties without even pausing to ask which ones.”

When Journalists Report for Duty

by Norman Solomon (Extra! Update, 10/01)

“Restrictive government edicts, clamping down on access to information and on-the-scene reports, would be bad enough if mainstream news organizations were striving to function independently. American journalism is sometimes known as the Fourth Estate—but Dan Rather is far from the only high-profile journalist who now appears eager to turn his profession into a fourth branch of government.”

Retaliation: Reality vs. Pundit Fantasy

by Jim Naureckas (Extra! Update, 10/01)

“One non–Boy Scout the CIA worked with in the 1980s was none other than Osama bin Laden (MSNBC, 8/24/98; Atlantic, 7–8/91)—then considered a valuable asset in the fight against Communism, but now suspected of being the chief instigator of the September 11 attacks.”

Why They Hate Us: Looking for a Flattering Answer

by Jim Naureckas (Extra! Update, 10/01)

“Even before investigators identified Arab militants as the apparent hijackers, the media assumption was that the terrorists had ties to the Mideast. But rather than a serious examination of what political realities might contribute to an anti-American climate there, many media commentators offered little more than self-congratulatory rhetoric.”

Patriotism and Censorship: Some Journalists Are Silenced, While Others Seem Happy to Muzzle Themselves

by Seth Ackerman and Peter Hart  (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“War fever in the wake of the September 11 attacks has led to a wave of self-censorship as well as government pressure on the media. With American flags adorning networks’ on-screen logos, journalists are feeling rising pressure to exercise ‘patriotic’ news judgment, while even mild criticism of the military, George W. Bush and US foreign policy are coming to seem taboo.”

Us vs. Them

by Jim Naureckas (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“It’s still ‘us’ versus ‘them,’ in other words, and we are told to care very much when ‘we’ are in danger and are explicitly warned not to worry too much about ‘their’ lives. Saying that it ‘seems perverse to focus too much on the casualties or hardships in Afghanistan’ (Washington Post, 10/31/01), CNN chief Walter Isaacson even announced that the network would air some kind of disclaimer whenever footage of dead or wounded Afghans is shown.”

Are You a Terrorist?

by Rachel Coen (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“The legal definition of ‘terrorism’ is crucial because the USA PATRIOT act gives law enforcement broad new powers to be used against ‘terrorist’ individuals and groups. The American Civil Liberties Union (10/23/01) warns that this new definition will ‘sweep in people who engage in acts of political protest’ if those acts could be deemed dangerous to human life.”

‘No Spin Zone’?

by Peter Hart (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“FAIR activists sent hundreds of letters to O’Reilly after his September 17 program, urging him to consider the ramifications of his rhetoric–and the fact that bombing civilian targets and using starvation as a weapon are war crimes.”

As if Reality Wasn’t Bad Enough: Dan Rather Spread Alarmist Rumors on September 11

by Jim Naureckas in Extra!, 11–12/01)

“But is it really inevitable that anchors will pass on uncorroborated stories to the public—and portray them as fact, not rumor? For days, New Yorkers expressed surprise that the George Washington Bridge story was not true—victims of a needless panic that Dan Rather had helped to spread.”

Network of Insiders: TV News Relied Mainly on Officials to Discuss Policy

by Seth Ackerman (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“No experts on international law appeared, even though a lively debate among international jurists has been brewing since September 11 over how the United States could respond legally to the attacks. Very few university-based experts on the Middle East appeared. (The main exception was [Fouad] Ajami.) This absence contributed to the networks’ striking lack of explanation of what United States’ policies in the Middle East have been in recent years.”

The Op-ed Echo Chamber: Little or No Space for Dissent From the Military Line

by Steve Rendall (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“Whether the mainstream daily op-ed page was ever a true forum for debate or for ‘nontraditional voices’ is questionable. But during the weeks following September’s terrorist attacks, two leading dailies [New York Times and Washington Post] mostly used these pages as an echo chamber for the government’s official policy of military response, while mostly ignoring dissenters and policy critics.”

The New Blacklist: The Nation’s Largest Radio Network’s List of ‘Questionable’ Songs

by Tom Morello (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“When the horrible attacks of September 11 are used as a pretext for squashing the opinions of dissident artists, people who are not beating the blood-lust drum feel alone and isolated. It’s in times like these when we most need intelligent, thoughtful discussion and debates about the issues of the day.”

‘This Isn’t Discrimination, This Is Necessary’ (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“Leave it to Ann Coulter—whose racism was too much even for the Arab-bashing National Review—to reduce the pro-profiling argument to its fallacious core: ‘Not all Muslims may be terrorists,’ she allowed, ‘but all terrorists are Muslims’ (Yahoo! News, 9/28/01).

“That’s just wrong, of course, as Timothy McVeigh, the Unabomber and decades of clinic-bombing, doctor-shooting Christian extremists can attest. The fact is that ethnicity has never been a reliable indicator of who might be involved in terrorism, making racial profiling not only discriminatory but ultimately ineffective.”

Patriotic Shopping: Media Define Citizenship as Consumerism

by Janine Jackson (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“A number of pundits and politicians offered Americans a simple solution to the helplessness and anxiety they were feeling in the wake of the September 11 attacks: Go shopping!”

Covering the ‘Fifth Column’: Media Present Pro-War Distortions of Peace Movement’s Views

by Peter Hart (Extra!, 11–12/01)

“The distinction between ‘peace with terrorists’ and a peace movement rooted in justice and international law was blurred by the media in general, which rather than airing the views of anti-war leaders generally had pro-war pundits explain–and belittle–those views.”

Internet Samizdat Releases Suppressed Voices, History

by Jeff Cohen (Extra!, 12/01)

“A free press would be debating the issue of Washington’s relations with Islamist extremists in Afghanistan and elsewhere, and whether such movements are bred by US policy committed to suppressing secular reformers and leftists in Islamic countries. When the CIA funded the Afghan Mujaheddin in 1979 before the Soviet occupation, it hoped to destabilize a secular, Soviet-friendly government (initially led by Nur Mohammed Taraki and Hafizullah Amin), which supported land reform and rights for women.”

From Bozo to Churchill: George W.’s Post–September 11 Reinvention

by Mark Crispin Miller  (Extra!, 5–6/02)

“Countless leaders have been deified by national emergency, but few have been remade as quickly and completely as George W. Bush. In many cases, those who had misread him as a simple tool, braying automatically at his most trivial mistakes, now automatically revered him. Such converts suddenly agreed with those who had seen Bush’s flaws as signs of latent greatness—thitherto the notion only of a large plurality, but now the common wisdom.”

9/11 Anniversary Coverage Plans Fall Short

(Media Advisory, 8/26/02)

“Unfortunately, many media outlets seem ready to exploit America’s grief by replaying the trauma of the attacks, instead of honoring the date with a serious debate over where the country is headed”

Saddam and Osama’s Shotgun Wedding: Weekly Standard Beats a Long-Dead Horse

by Seth Ackerman (Extra!, 1–2/04)

“Hardline officials have spent the last two years leaking stories, writing op-eds, holding private briefings and making public insinuations, all intended to convince the country that Saddam Hussein and al-Qaeda worked hand in hand.”

The Media Politics of 9/11

by Norman Solomon (Media Beat,  3/25/04)

“On September 12, Bush’s media stature and poll numbers were soaring. Suddenly, news outlets all over the country boosted the president as a great leader, sometimes likening him to FDR. For many months, the overall media coverage of President Bush was reverential.”

A Record of Journalism in Crisis: Out of the Buzzsaw, Into the Fire

by Francis Cerra Whittelsey  (Extra!, 3–4/06)

“Not only was good reporting unusual and largely out of sight after September 11, it was also overwhelmed by the Bush administration’s public relations effort…. These journalists see themselves fighting an unrelenting public relations machine, whose effectiveness comes in large part from constant message repetition and automatic coverage of the president every day, even when he makes no news”

Gullibility Begins at Home: NYT Accepted False Reassurances on Ground Zero Safety

by Julie Hollar ( Extra!, 11–12/06)

“It’s not just the government that failed the workers and the public with misleading assurances; the New York Times itself must share that burden. Shortly after the attacks and into the ensuing years, the Times—as both a New York paper and a national paper—failed to mount a functional degree of skepticism toward city and federal government pronouncements about the safety of the air and dust around Ground Zero. They by and large dismissed fears of residents and workers about their safety—even as troubling studies and voices of dissent cropped up in the public and private sectors, and in other media outlets.”

The Media’s Mayor: Mythologizing Giuliani and 9/11

by Steve Rendall (Extra!, 5–6/07)

“[Jonathan] Alter dubbed Giuliani ‘the new Mayor of America,’ which soon morphed to ‘America’s Mayor,’ a moniker used by journalists as if it were a matter of public acclamation rather than a symptom of press corps hero worship.”

‘America Was Safer Under Bush’: Journalists Accept GOP’s Screwy Terrorism Scorecard

by Steve Rendall  (Extra!, 3/10)

“That George W. Bush kept America safer from terrorism than Barack Obama is a conservative article of faith these days—and corporate media seem little inclined to challenge the blatant falsehoods used to advance this childish GOP talking point.”

The Uses of September 11:To the Right, Terror Attacks Are Theirs to Exploit—or Dismiss—as They Like

by Steve Rendall (Extra!, 3/11)

“But the hallowed memory of September 11 is a conservative sham. While the attacks may be the gift that keeps on giving for GOP politics—when politically useful—the right frequently permits itself to diminish or deride the memory and symbols of the attacks for its own convenience.”

‘Waterboarding Worked’?: After bin Laden’s Death, Media Push Pro-Torture Message

by Peter Hart (Extra!, 6/11)

“Despite Bill O’Reilly’s assertion that his show was a lonely pro-torture voice, there were many media voices suggesting a reevaluation of whether torture should be an accepted practice for the U.S. government. Bin Laden may be dead, but the corrosive effect on public discourse of the “war on terror” lives on.

Losing the Plot: The Afghan War After bin Laden

by Jim Naureckas (Extra!, 7/11)

What was missing from these and most other corporate media discussions of bin Laden and Afghanistan was any recognition of the part that country played in the Al-Qaeda leader’s strategic vision. For bin Laden, the U.S. invasion of Afghanistan was not a threat to his plan for the triumph of his brand of right-wing Islam—it was the central element of that plan.

Fox’s Eric Bolling Fans on Terror Facts—Twice

by Steve Rendall (FAIR.org, 7/15/11)

“Glenn Beck’s temporary replacement in the 5 p.m. slot on Fox News, Eric Bolling, has started out with a bang. On the July 13 edition of his new show the Five, the host declared: ‘America was certainly safe between 2000 and 2008. I don’t remember any attacks on American soil during that period of time.'”

The Forever Wars: Media Enlist to Promote Unending Military Adventures

by Peter Hart (Extra!, 9/11)

“The shift from the US’s time-limited military adventures since the Vietnam War—in conflicts like Grenada, Panama, Somalia and Kosovo—to today’s seemingly interminable and endlessly multiplying military commitments is one of the most notable, yet little noted, features of the post-September 11 landscape. And corporate journalists seem all too willing to encourage Washington’s new ‘permanent war’ footing.”

The ‘Worst of the Worst’?: 9/11, Guantánamo and the Failures of US Corporate Media

by Andy Worthington  (Extra!, 9/11)

“On the 10th anniversary of the 9/11 attacks, media bear a large responsibility for having allowed cynical lawmakers to portray Guantánamo as a prison holding ‘the worst of the worst,’ despite so much evidence that Bush administration officials were lying when they first coined that phrase.”

Whistling Past the Wreckage of Civil Liberties: Watchdogs Slept Through a Decade of Rollback

by Janine Jackson (Extra!, 9/11)

“Media submerge the reality of the assault on civil rights every time they report the state’s overreaches as being about ‘terror-fighting tools,’ as the AP (5/26/11) described Patriot Act provisions. Under a system of civil liberties, people are regarded as criminals after being convicted of crimes—not deemed to be so beforehand to facilitate stripping them of rights.”

Richard Cohen Is Sorry You and He Got It Wrong

by Peter Hart (FAIR.org , 9/6/11)

“Someone who was really sorry for stoking war fever would be honest enough to point out that not everyone was on board. And of course Richard Cohen knows this—he was writing columns attacking those who weren’t ‘going along with it.’ As he wrote about Dennis Kucinich, ‘How did this fool get on Meet the Press?'”

‘Terror Returns’—but When Did It Go Away?

by Jim Naureckas (FAIR.org, 4/16/13)

“The fact that journalists assigned to cover this story could fail to remember that political violence has been part of the United States landscape for the past decade and more is testament to a narrow definition that dismisses right-wing domestic violence as not really terrorism—and to a will to believe, for partisan or psychological reasons, that George W. Bush ‘kept us safe‘ after 9/11. The reality is not so comforting.”

License to Kill: Little Scrutiny of Resolution That Greenlighted ‘War on Terror’

by Norman Solomon (Extra!, 5/13)

“While the Obama administration considers how to reorganize its war efforts, we should ask why the US media establishment took more than a decade to begin asking basic questions about the Authorization for Use of Military Force—and why the underlying premises of perpetual war continue to elude concerted journalistic scrutiny.

“The consequences of such media evasions have persisted in tandem with Washington’s political machinations. Rather than handling 9/11 as a crime committed by criminals, the ‘war on terror’ under the AUMF umbrella propelled US military actions that have killed hundreds of thousands in at least six countries.”

They’ll Be Watching You: Mass Surveillance Uses New Media to Track Every Move You Make

by Jim Naureckas (Extra!, 5/14)

“After the September 11 attacks, which reignited a xenophobic backlash against immigration, the Department of Homeland Security began recruiting local law enforcement agencies as the next front in the detection and apprehension of undocumented immigrants. What followed was a massive wave of deportations that increased under the Obama administration to over 2 million (Politico, 3/4/14).

“Like immigration, the ‘War on Terror’ is now being shifted to local law enforcement agencies who, in exchange for federal dollars, are deploying powerful surveillance tools with little oversight and applying these tools to everyday policing, not just ‘counterterrorism.’”

Forgiving Al-Qaeda in Pursuit of a New Enemy

by Jim Naureckas (FAIR.org, 3/18/15)

“There are indications (as noted by the blog Moon of Alabama—3/11/15) of a shift in the Western foreign policy establishment toward seeing groups like Al-Qaeda—that is, far-right terrorist groups who espouse a violent strain of Sunni Islam—not as the main targets of US military operations but as potential allies against the governments Washington has identified as more important enemies, namely Shi’ite-led Iran and Syria.”

NYT

Recalls Media’s ‘Journalistic Detachment’ Before Iraq War

(Extra!, 9/16)

“In his retrospective (7/19/16) on outgoing Fox News chief Roger Ailes, who lost his job amidst numerous charges of sexual harassment, New York Times media reporter Jim Rutenberg included this remarkable sentence:

It was Mr. Ailes who, after the September 11 attacks, directed his network to break with classic journalistic detachment to get fully behind the war efforts of the George W. Bush White House, which jarred the rest of his industry.

“Of course, Fox News was far from alone in abandoning ‘classic journalistic detachment’ (such as it is) in the lead-up to the Iraq War—the New York Times certainly not excepted. Times reporters like Michael Gordon and Judith Miller helped get the nation ‘fully behind the war’ with front-page stories touting ‘evidence’ of WMDs that did not exist, while others wrote ‘news analysis’ like ‘All Aboard: America’s War Train Is Leaving the Station’ (2/2/03) and ‘US Plan: Spare Iraq’s Civilians’ (2/23/03).”

After 1,379 Days, NYT Corrects Bogus Claim Iran ‘Sponsored’ 9/11

by Adam Johnson (FAIR.org, 7/6/17)

“In its reporting on a dubious lawsuit alleging Iranian meta-involvement in 9/11, the New York Times badly misunderstood the case and maintained for more than three years, in the paper of record, that the government of Iran ‘sponsored’ the September 11, 2001, attacks. The belated correction, issued late Wednesday night on two widely spaced articles on the topic, unceremoniously noted that Iran did not, in fact, help commit the 9/11 attacks.”

On 18th Anniversary of 9/11, Media Worry About ‘Premature’ End to Afghan War

by Josh Cho (FAIR.org, 9/11/19)

“The New York Times (8/2/19) gave a platform to retired generals Jack Keane and David Petraeus to lobby for keeping thousands of “Special Operations forces” in Afghanistan:

“US troops in Afghanistan have prevented another catastrophic attack on our homeland for 18 years,” General Keane said in an interview. “Expecting the Taliban to provide that guarantee in the future by withdrawing all US troops makes no sense.”

“The Times might have pointed out that the September 11 attacks were carried out by militants based in the United States and recruited in Germany.”

Actually, Giuliani Has Always Been Like This

by Ari Paul (FAIR.org, 10/10/19)

“Giuliani was heralded as a hero when the United States was desperately looking for one after the WTC attacks—despite the fact that his actions on the day of the attacks contributed to the deaths of emergency responders, and his insistence that the air at Ground Zero was safe to breathe without filtration no doubt led to the deaths of many more (Extra!, 11–12/06, 5–6/07).”

Krugman Recalls 9/11’s Silver Linings

(Extra!, 10/20)

“’Overall, Americans took 9/11 pretty calmly,’ New York Times columnist Paul Krugman tweeted on the 19th anniversary of September 11 attacks. ‘Notably, there wasn’t a mass outbreak of anti-Muslim sentiment and violence, which could all too easily have happened.’ Anti-Muslim hate crimes increased 17-fold after 9/11, the FBI reported (Human Rights Watch, 11/02)—but apparently that doesn’t qualify as ‘mass.’

“Krugman, after praising George W. Bush as someone who ‘tried to calm prejudice, not feed it,’ did acknowledge that he used 9/11 to ‘take us into an unrelated and disastrous war’—the almost 19-year-long occupation of Afghanistan, apparently, not qualifying as a disaster. Before alluding to Iraq, Krugman mentioned that in the wake of the attacks, “my wife and I took a lovely trip to the US Virgin Islands…because air fares and hotel rooms were so cheap.”

As Kabul Is Retaken, Papers Look Back in Erasure

by Gregory Shupak (FAIR.org, 8/19/21)

“In addition to the Taliban signaling that it could be open to extraditing the Al Qaeda leader in October 2001, according to a former head of Saudi intelligence (LA Times, 11/4/01), the Taliban said in 1998 that it would hand over bin Laden to Saudi Arabia, the US’s close ally; the Saudi intelligence official says that the Taliban backed off after the US fired cruise missiles at an apparent bin Laden camp in Afghanistan and a pharmaceutical factory in Sudan, following attacks on US embassies in Kenya and Tanzania attributed to Al Qaeda. The outlets thus failed to inform their readers that, had the US pursued negotiations for bin Laden’s extradition, Afghans may have been spared 20 years of devastating war.”

[l0chn3ss]

l0chn3ss update

I feel like the last time I ever really active on tumblr was in the year 2016, so i want to address my absence between 2017-2020. Part of it is because I feel like I owe it to my friends and mutuals who I just basically left on read and another part is because I’ve always treated this blog as a personal blog that documents my life and my growth. I put off writing this for a long time but now that I have a huge paper due, now is definitely the time.

You are welcome to skip but I will address a few hard hitting questions I feel should be answered, especially since I feel like I departed like an anti-hero of a bad tv show.

Where I am currently: I am in grad school to obtain a master’s in library and information science. I have a full time job at different middle school libraries, though I work from home now. I also tutor kids on the side to pay for my tuition because I basically make minimum wage. Quarantine messed with my head at first, but now I’m feeling much better and I’m trying to reconnect with friends and close a lot of loose ends.

TLDR: I took an extended break because tumblr mobile sucks and my laptop needed serious repairs. I made a huge migration away from social media in 2018. I prioritized my education and in-person connections, which fell to shit because of my fandom involvement in the past. I did not like the direction of the main fandom I participated in and knew that many of the people I once respected did not respect me in return/ Us versus them mentality. I recognized that I treated my life on tumblr too seriously and took petty drama personally. I am sporadically on tumblr now because I genuinely enjoy the social connection and because I still like running fandom events.

Yes, you can reblog this. I’d love for this narrative to be heard.

Long version: To preface this, this post is being written to give myself closure and because I really am procrastinating on my final big paper of this semester. I’ll be tackling on the points in the tldr in a longer narrative that will appear to be in an expository fashion, which I recognize will be a source of contention, but my intentions are to throw it onto the table so that I can be freed. I can let it go and move on. I’m no longer a 20 years old who cared too much of what other people think and will think; I think differing perspectives are important and I want to give myself a chance to say my piece. That and I recognize that I lost the audience that I once had, so I doubt this will be an issue at all. It’s been 4 or what ever years, let’s just not.

Back in 2015-2016 there was a huge back and forth between three groups of people in the SE fandom. The reason why I’m not listing out the name is because I don’t want this to show up in the tags. I’d say that the three groups could be seen as quite literally the soma shippers (mostly white, demi sexual girls), lgbt centric bloggers (very kid or star oriented, very fed up with soma), and the people who were deemed as alright to soma shippers (c r ona, ste inm arie, jac k im centric people). There was a constant (and understandable) tension between the first two groups while the third was like the weird cousin that everyone in the social circles liked because they sprinkled in soma for the masses. Don’t argue with me on this-- this was literally how the fandom was in 2015 and you know it.

The main issue was that one group felt that they were being inclusive towards identities and sexualities while the other felt that they were not. I remember that one of the arguments was that soma WAS an LGBT ship because people headcanonned the members to be demisexual. However, the other side of the argument was that it wasn’t good representation of a gay pairing. Now that we can look back at this 5 years later, I have two things to say: 1, I now very much understand why the argument broke out because of how heated the topic is, and I do believe that I lean more towards the “other side” now that I’m not wearing rose tinted glasses, but 2, I need to make it clear that demi people are lgbt, but a headcanon is not fact and ship diversity was the main question at hand, not the ship itself. This argument lasted for weeks, destroyed my friendships, and no matter what I felt I did in the moment (which was to mend the fandom), it was taken as an insult.

(Side note: Somethings that I remember was being in someone’s DM’s to encourage them to participate in the large fandom events more, but once they twisted my intentions and rallied their friends, I became their enemy. I also became the mods’ enemy but then again, when was I not? I was made fun of for saying “queergender,” a term that is now currently being widely used, quite openly by someone I wanted desperately to be friends with. I was outwardly mocked by popular users who only apologized behind closed doors but didn’t bother to clear things up with their followers. Adults who were in their 30s quite literally attacked a 19 year old. It was in that moment that I realized I would never become friends with either side, and not because I didn’t want to.)

I bring this up because as I begun to stop writing soma fics, I also begun to see and understand why people moved away from it. It wasn’t the ship itself, it was the culture surrounding it. However, on tumblr we have the ability to connect intensely with the content we produce. Therefore, the ship itself began to be connected with the shippers and their attitudes towards outside pairings-- that attitude being tied into elitism.

I say this with every ounce of love I can because I once had the exact same mannerism. When you become so tied into one pairing to the point where other ships appear to threaten the existence of it and you react negatively towards it, you become rancid. The popular tag “everything is soma” takes a very dark turn. Even if readers consume another pairing’s work, they will be obliged to say “I ship soma more BUT that was cute.” They will read an entirely different topic and wonder why soma wasn’t inserted into it in the background. They will reject pairings that separate the two as if breaking them up is sin and an insult.

The only reason why I stopped writing my soma fics in 2016 was because I saw a real need to fill in the gaps of other pairings. I took what people were saying to heart and I wanted to change my ways and my perceptions. I saw the animosity of the ship culture and rejected it. I wanted to use what little influence I had to make the fandom just a bit more accepting. In 2016, I don’t think the fandom was ready for it. In 2017, they still weren’t ready for it. In 2020, I see hope, but I wonder sometimes if it’s masqueraded pity because of previous treatment.

In the middle of it all, I went from being the soma angst master to becoming the weird person everyone once knew. I was the friend that people excluded from group chats and I just “wasn’t the same.” Cliques grew extremely large in power in 2017 and exclusion hurt like a bitch.

The straw that broke the camel’s back and completely shut me down was in 2017 when I was graduating as a bachelor. There was a fandom event that I decided to go all in to. For context, there used to be a huge debate on how many times a person should enter in an event, but in my mind, the more exposure the better. My graduation and the event took place at the exact same time, which was cool, but what hurt me was what happened after.

I was lucky enough to be accepted into field school (when you travel to do outdoor excavating) for my major. I’m an anthropologist-- it was an honor. I didn’t plan in advance for it, and if anything, I thought that I would be committed completely to the events and my 5 or what ever entries at the time. I’ve always prided myself in communicating with others, so I made sure to let my partners in the event know what was going on. I was so excited to be going on my first ever excavation and no one at the time said anything otherwise, in fact, they all seemed incredibly supportive. 

What I didn’t know was that I would be called out by name in the event feedback response by one person who felt that I didn’t take the event seriously enough and that I should’ve prioritized my time accordingly. Two of the mods let me know because it referred to me directly, though the name of the submitter was not included. It was not only a slap in the face, but a dumbfound moment that reminded me that wow, fandom content really is someone’s life out there. My enforced silence because of lack of internet in the woods actually upset someone and made them believe that I wronged them, because I put my real life ambitions first before a fandom event.

It was then when I woke up and I remember very clearly thinking to myself: I don’t want to be like them. I don’t want to treat my fandom life seriously. I want to participate in fandom for fun, not out of duty. I don’t want to prioritize this life because in the end, if I am hated for putting my work and education first, then I don’t want it.

(For context, I suspect that it was the same person who made a 200 note call out on me during the fandom tension. I respected this person immensely, but I also treated them like the flawed person I believe everyone is. I’m sure because of this, I’m pretty much trash in their eyes, which is totally fine. They have really cute cats so they can’t be all too bad. Don’t look into it too deeply.)

Once my month long field school was up, I was already used to not being on the internet or any of my social media accounts. I didn’t play my mobile games for a month. I didn’t read the news for a month. It was like going cold turkey on the internet, which reshaped my habits entirely. The only time that I had online within that time span was during the weekend, but I spent my time working on my projects and catching up with friends instead of being on apps.

I was also completely fed up with tumblr’s mobile app at the time, so one by one, I deleted my apps. Good bye to tumblr, snapchat, what little I used of instagram, twitter, everything. The only thing I kept was facebook, which was because it is the main platform that I use to message my boyfriend. That meant that any friends I retained from the fandom (who I still contact now) were also friends who had the chance to add me on facebook.

This was the cause of my 2 or 3 year hiatus on tumblr, and therefore the fandom. I occasionally checked back every 6 months to do a few fandom events, but I have several unopened messages and notifications that I haven’t been able to get to. I open my instagram for a few days once a year, and I only go onto twitter if my friends tell me (through facebook) that they dm’d me a post there.

When I left my online persona behind, I quickly strengthened my in person connections. New drama that erupted every other day became replaced with starbucks and boba runs. Reality TV shows replaced fanfiction. Text messages replaced the tumblr activity feed (which still doesn’t work on mobile BTW). I study at cafes unironically with friends instead of typing alone in my room. Overall, it opened my world considerably.

I still like making fun of myself and I try not to take myself seriously. I still make self depreciative memes to send to friends but then double up with kermit heart pics. I’m still a plot bunny, I still write my fics, I still watch my anime, I still play video games, I still sleep at 4am, I still take my depression medication, I still love potatoes, I still use my voice for people who can’t find theirs yet. But I think I’m in a much healthier mindset now, even if I still make stupid shifty posts calling out bad behavior.

Nowadays, I’m working on my Master’s degree in secret. My parents don’t know about it because my mom doesn’t like that I want to go out and do unladylike things like getting an education. I tutor kiddos and I’m really good with younger children, but I’m not going to do anything with kids because I just don’t want to. Instead, I want to work at an archive or a museum to bring my library interests and my anthropology background together. If I had my dream job, I would be a marine archaeologist; however I love my boyfriend of 8 years whom you probably all remember and I really came to terms with my grandeur dreams. I’m extremely happy with living in a small town with loved ones now, and I don’t need to move somewhere far away from my parents to be content. It’s a huge realization.

From 2018 to 2020 I got into actual drama in person while I was job hunting. Adult people suck and honestly it’s kind of embarrassing how ill equipped some people are. Even so, I currently work in middle schools as a media assistant. One of those realms is the library, and honestly it’s like fulfilling a prophecy. As much as I love the social aspect, public schools are an absolute train wreck.

I’m going to wrap this up now. This post is meant to help me close the past and move forward because the fandom culture feels different now. Things from several years ago don’t need to resurface. I want to enjoy my life fully, and fandom life is one of those aspects that I truly did enjoy. I’m going to keep using my voice and act like a fool, but I’m also not going to be losing sleep because of this. People are going to talk about you no matter what, whether positively or negatively, and it’s important to not take it personally.

Idk, go enjoy yourselves. Do things for yourself. It’s more fun that way.

[project-rebirth]

Prologue - Unusual Incidents: Investigating_The_Conspiracy.

January 26, 5:49 PM.

Inside a building in District 7,a collaboration between Anti-Skill and Judgement was taking place in regards to the threats that were plaguing Academy City for weeks, if not months.

The overall layout was reminiscent of a university lecture hall with numbers hovering as holograms above the seats where the representatives of each District 7 branch were to be seated.  Members of Judgement began filing into the room as they took their seats at the respective branches. Among those present were Shirai Kuroko, Uiharu Kazari, and their superior, Konori Mii.

The meeting was arranged because of the numerous incidents that had been taking place in the city. But there was something else that had kick started this whole affair into motion.

The Return of MINUS.

MINUS was a terrorist group that commited atrocities against the residents of Academy City. They were originally Level 0s who felt as though they were abandoned by the system and sought to rise up and oppose said system by following the example of a Certain Unknown Level 0; the one who was rumored to have defeated Academy City’s #1 Level 5 back in August.

It was because of that rumor that those people wanted to protect the Level 0′s identity and to achieve what that person had once achieved. But as of late, MINUS had accepted other higher ranked espers into their forces, such as Level 4s and it was because of this fact that they had become more dangerous.

It was only back in December that their most fortified hideout had been attacked and raided by three of the 7 Level 5s and the mysterious woman known as Violent Violet after MINUS had abducted three girls.

The result was their hideout being destroyed and most of their members ending up in custody, in the hospital or in the morgue. It was a huge defeat to the organization that had gone silent as a result, but earlier today, they had announced their return, and had more or less declared war on Academy City.

With MINUS back in the spot light among the other mysterious incidents, the Higher ups had seemingly had enough of it and wanted to nip all of these growing issues in the bud. Something that was called Operation Apocrypha was still in effect, but because of lack of co-operation with Anti-Skill, much of it ended in disaster.

The holograms did not die down though as a projector screen lit up the wall of the university hall with the symbol of Anti-Skill, a 'w' shape with straight lines instead of diagonal ones.

Someone came from the side of the university hall and went to stand behind the podium, observing silently the amount of people that had turned up. Without turning her head, Uiharu could already tell that practically all District 7 Judgment branches had a representative or two here, something that was noted by the Anti-Skill member that was representing Anti-Skill in this District.

Yomikawa Aiho made a quick analysis of the people that were sitting before her as she turned and faced the screen that was behind her, clicking something that was in her hand as the Anti-Skill symbol disappeared, replaced with another slide showing a scene that made the silence in the hall almost deafening.

A portion of an area in district 7 was completely demolished. Buildings were seemingly ripped from their foundations and thrown about, some were shattered and broken, and others had just straight up collapsed into rubble. The ground around the area was also battered and torn up beyond believe including a wide crack that split through a certain area. And among that destruction was what looked like a large crater.

From the look of Yomikawa’s face, she knew the significance of this area as she had been there herself, and the event of such was also personal to her. Shirai on the other hand had a similar expression and understood its importance.

It was where Misaka Mikoto was defeated and held hostage and where multiple anti-skill and other personnel were slaughtered.

“...As you can clearly see, the number of incidents and attacks on Academy City has grown not only in scale but in severity. and the boldness of these attacks have increased as well.”

Yomikawa clicked a few more times, showing different screens and pictures that showed numerous places in Academy City, all of which had been identified as being attacked by MINUS or unknown third parties.

An area in District 11 where a destroyed military truck, parts of a warehouse completely destroyed and where armed militia of unknown origin were found dead.

the Hoshi no shihai-sha observatory in District 21 where large portions of it had been destroyed with a three apparently having been grown from within the building and shooting through the roof of the observatory.

Another photo of District 7 where it had faced a similar level of destruction as the other incident, only with one building collapsed and the body of a deceased reptilian creature of unknown origins.

And a hotel in district 3, something that Uiharu recognized as the Visitor’s Hotel where it had been used as a hideout for MINUS.

“But that is why the threat of MINUS and the other parties is something that cannot be ignored. The higher ups agree on this point and thus, this is the reason why we are all here today.”

Yomikawa clicked the screen to show a building that looked to be in District 7 however she did not elaborate on its importance just yet as she continued to inform the others about the situation at hand. 

"The hesitance of the higher ups in dealing with this overcame itself at just the right moment, advising the co-operation of Anti-Skill and Judgment when it comes to dealing with this threat. Hence, tonight, we shall take the initiative by undertaking a mass surprise attack on what have been confirmed locations of MINUS hideouts hidden within each of the Districts. This building here," Yomikawa indicated towards it, "is the target for the forces of District 7."

Uiharu looked more closely at the building in question. Although the picture was taken during the day, the darkness within the building was almost hypnotic. Numerous floors (12 from sight) all had their lights off and the entire building was surrounded by a sign that notified anyone on the outside that the building was going to be set for demolition.

It was removed from the main road within the District and numerous holes lay in the windows, giving the entire thing a rundown feel. Now that it had been pointed out to her, Uiharu felt that the building itself served as a perfect hideout for those within the organization that was MINUS.

Yomikawa pointed at someone that had their hand up to the side.

"Yes? What is it that you would like to know?"

She asked as she addressed the Judgment member that had their hand up.

"Where exactly is this information from sensei? Can it be trusted?" 

"I was just getting to that." said Yomikawa as she changed the screen. "As you all know, thanks to the efforts of Violent Violet and the others who raided the District 19 hideout of MINUS, we have managed to acquire one of the more prominent members of MINUS; one Chojiro Wada."

Chojiro's face appeared on the screen.

“Furthermore, in the following weeks since then, we have made multiple arrests of those who were suspected to be in MINUS with our latest arrest being just a few days ago. Through the use of Psychometry and some information that was personally divulged, we managed to get the locations of these hideouts that had previously escaped our detection. Fortunately, since it has been a few days since our recent arrest, there should be plenty of time to complete a surprise attack however the amount of people that will be arrested and captured is still unknown. Given that it has been a few days since we actually captured a MINUS member, chances are that there will not be the full force there but since the higher ups have approved of the attack at just the right moment, we can be quick and swift when it comes to dealing out justice. Does that answer your question?"

The 18 year old judgement member nodded, satisfied.

“Also,” continued Yomikawa as she flipped through the slides. "Using the same methods, we were able to extract similar information from other members that have been arrested over the past few weeks. Members such as Shin Wataru, Ogiwara Junko and Kingo, Kawabata Nobuhito, Nemoto Toshiko, Iriye Kinnojo, Yanagimoto Tadahisa, Matsura Chisaki and Muro Narahiko among others have all been taken in and questioned. While all of them are currently detained, their information all matched up so we can be sure of its reliance." 

Yomikawa clicked the slide once more and the screen went dark as it was clearly the end of the brief presentation that she had set up for the moment.

"The time of the operation will be 8pm tonight. We request that you inform your dorm managers of this so that you are not punished for breaking curfew and the location that each branch is going to be located is individually assessed based on the capabilities of each branch. We want to have as much power in this to ensure that nothing is left to chance. While this was just the basic rundown, we have sent a more in depth plan to the phones of your branch heads, overviewing the steps for the next few days and what is going to happen."

Yomikawa placed the clicker onto the podium as she stood up straight once more, her posture indicating that this was something that she wanted to say for a long time, even if it might sound unprofessional.

"The phones of your branch heads are going to be the main communication between each of the Judgment branches in the coming operations against MINUS and the Third Parties. But the thing that I cannot stress enough right now is that Anti-Skill exists to protect you as well as this City. While we are collaborating together, Anti-Skill is going to be giving the orders no matter our positions. So I want to make this clear."

Yomikawa folded her arms and gave a glare at the people inside the university lecture hall.

"You do what we tell you. No one is to go off on their own and we are going to follow a strict plan from top to bottom. If you think that you can go against this in any way, we will seriously consider stripping you of your title as Judgment members. MINUS and these other groups cannot be allowed to stand, but neither can we afford to let any students fall. …That is all."

Yomikawa Aiho let those final words leave her mouth as she left the university hall as numerous beeps came from the phones of the branch heads as they all, Konori included, looked at their phones and opened them up to look at what was displayed there.

People stood up to leave, creating a large amount of noise however the three members of the 177th branch sat still as they waited for the hall to clear, many other members of Judgment having the same idea as they waited for the hall to vacate so that they could discuss their plan of attack with their fellow members.

@tetsuwan-atom​ @xbloodsoakedx​ @graceful-cure-swan​ @strykingback​ @x-ame-x-damnee-x​

[angstars]

Uhh, hello!! I’m kinda new to this so uhh— yeah.

I was wondering if I could get an s/o headcannon with Eichi where Eichi has a heart attack and almost dies(as he does).

Uhh, thanks a lot I guess!!

I am REALLY horrible at this —–

don’t worry about it!! this is a submission darling, next time you wanna do a request, go to the ask !! i mean this can work as well but usually sending it via ask is easier! don’t worry about it my friend, your request has arrived and now i shall send to you as you please!! i LOVE those types of scenarios omg i hope it isnt too angst filled

P.S. ONCE AGAIN i have messed up and im BLIND, i forgot you said headcanons and wrote a scenario omg. tho i feel like a scenario was easier to work with for this request, i do apologise once again

And remember, get calcium!♠

Humans aren’t as oblivious as one may think. Either one feigns utter ignorance, or they’re purely blinded to what’s in front of them; as much as one tried, it was impossible to ignore the straining feeling that something was breaking.

The bond of your relationship was thinning till the point of snapping, and that frightened you. You hated the fact that it had to reach this far for you to decide to take action, and you felt a strong build up of anger at Eichi for showing no effort in bringing it up either; choosing to live in a fake blissfulness as if everything is how it should be.

To be fair, both of you were at fault for never picking up the matter when it should’ve been addressed the moment it was planted in this relationship; this ticking bomb that was ready to explode.

It all started when Eichi began to act distant towards you, constant clipped responses as he excused himself to being busy whenever you tried to get together with him outside of school, or even on weekends. At first you began to wonder if you’ve done something to greatly upset him, but your trust in him rejected the idea, falsifying it that he’d never be petty enough to do such a thing, especially with you.

Marching down the hallway to the student council room, your anger numbing all the rationality in your mind, you barged into the office; not caring whether you were interfering on something important.

You hoped to find him alone, but he was seated with Wataru on the main desk discussing some paperwork. In good will, Wataru waves at you, smiling brightly, “Why hello! Now that’s one way of making an entrance!”

You smiled, although bitterly, “hello. Wataru, if you may, please leave.” Seeing his dumbfounded expression, your smile dropped as you explained, “I wish to speak to Eichi. Alone.”

He glanced between you and him multiple times before getting the hint and excusing himself hurriedly, exiting the room and closing the door behind him with a click. Facing Eichi, it only occurred to you now how his eyes were sharp as he stared at you, either coldly or calculatingly, you didn’t know.

If you weren’t so aggravated yourself, you would’ve felt hurt.

“What’s the meaning of this?” He asked, setting down the papers and reclining back on his chair.

“Oh don’t start with me,” stomping forward, you felt the venom rise up in your throat as you confronted him, “I’m here because you just refuse to talk to me; what’s gotten into you?! You seem to have forgotten me entirely!”

“That’s not true,” he defended, standing up to hold a stronger stance, “I’ve been-“

“-busy. Yeah, I know,” completing his sentence, you saw his eyebrows hitch upwards, “avoiding me like wild fire, you spend more time with everyone else but me, what’re you even busy doing?”

“Are you jealous? Is that it?”

Hearing him say that made you feel like he was belittling the problem, and most importantly, he wasn’t taking it or you seriously.

“Jealous?!” Shocked, you couldn’t help but lightly shake your head at him as your whole expression soured, “is that what it looks like to you? Because from what I see it, you’ve been rejecting me.”

Crossing your arms defensively, Eichi takes the initiative to close the space between you two as he walks around the table to approach you, “rejecting you? Just because I’ve been busy doesn’t mean I think any less of you,”

“Really? Because if that was the case, I wouldn’t be here.”

“What’s the issue here? I don’t understand.”

By now, he’s standing right in front you, and somehow you couldn’t find the words in you to vocalise them. There was so much to begin with that you didn’t know where to start, perhaps breaking it down will make it simpler, to when all this began to affect your feelings and view of the relationship; perhaps in the end of the day, it was a distorted glance produced from lack of communication, and he was in fact seeing something else.

Before being able to begin however, time must’ve run out in his head as he sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose, closing both his eyes momentarily, “look I know this is important to you, but could we please discuss this later?”

His words snapped you out of your resolve, back into a dark world where the problem seemed to only stretch further and further.

“I’m sorry, I’ve got things to tend to.”

“Later? When exactly is this ‘later’, hm? Because this is the first time in two weeks that we’ve talked for longer than a minute! And it’s about our relationship problem, it’s about us, and you’re refusing to put down whatever you’re doing just to talk to me?” Something must’ve cracked by then, because you’ve wanted to do anything but look at him at this moment, “I’m through with you!”

Screaming that out must’ve ripped your heart in two as your voice cracked at the very end, yet there were no tears, just a sting in your eyes as you turned around, too quick to see his genuinely perturbed expression as he reached out a hand to you and called your name.

“Wait!”

Without turning back, you headed straight for the door. He rushed after you, aiming to hold your wrist when a sharp pang in his chest held him back, gasping for air as he immediately gripped his chest, balling the fabric in his fists. Hearing that, you froze at the door, your hand on the doorknob.

Not now.

Beads of sweat rolled down his forehead and he instantly felt cold, his palms and back all felt clammy as he fell to his knees, coughing violently, his right hand shot out to catch himself, resting heavily on the tea table beside him. His mouth was open agape, yet no air went in as all he did was choke on it, coughing more and more.

Whirling around, your eyes widened at the sight of him sinking to the ground, “oh my god.” you breathed.

Rushing to his side, you regretted your earlier words as you began to beat on his back, hoping that would help someway. 

“You’re going to be okay!”

Panic consumed you, as this never happened when you were around, you were inexperienced and unprepared on what to do. Your eyes then began to tear up, and fear on his well being began to creep on you.

His coughing was unrelenting, and you spring to life to do something - anything. You motioned to stand up, when Eichi grabbed your sleeves desperately, his body shaking and breathing turning rigid.

“Eichi?” Your voice shook, staring at him in confusing as you watched him sway, going in and out of consciousness as he fell back, but you caught him by his shoulders, “Eichi! Hey, stay with me!”

Laying him on his back, your heart was going to beat out of your chest as everything fell to a frenzy. With your hands splayed on his chest, you clumsily began to preform an amateur first aid on him, tears spilling as the only thing you found yourself doing was pumping his chest and begging him to stay awake.

He was practically wheezing, and kneading on your sleeve, he looked like he wanted to say something, but all that came out was heaving and cut up coughs.

“Save your breath!” You instructed, “I don’t know what I’m doing but please stay awake! Am I helping?!”

Unable to give a response, you saw him completely shut down; eyelids closing as everything fell to an unnerving halt. Your heart fell to your feet, and you weren’t sure whether it was denial or desperation, but you found yourself continuing the first aid, occasionally cupping his face and searching for any sign of life in him.

Crying out for help this time, luck was on your side as there was a boy near by who heard your pleas; and getting a firm look on the situation, ran to get the nurse as quick as possible.

                                                           —-

“I’m sorry,”

Before even opening his eyes to the familiar white washed walls and bed sheets that he knew he must be surrounded by, he allowed his meek hushed voice to spill the thoughts that were on his mind but was unable to speak. He could feel the humid sensation around his noise and lips which probably indicated an oxygen mask.

Relief washed over you as you heard his voice. Standing up from your seat that was situated beside the bed, you felt sore from how long you were sitting but you didn’t care as you leaned over him, tears reforming in your eyes as you smiled.

“How did you know it’s me?” you whispered back.

“Oh you know...there’s a connection between lovers. I just know...”

How cheesy.

He musters a weak sheepish smile, before slowly fluttering open his eyes. They were so gentle and kind, just like how you remembered them. Sniffling and letting out a shaky breathe, your lip began quivering as you apologised to him.

“No,” he reaches out towards you with his left hand and tenderly brushes your cheek with his index finger in an attempt to wipe your tears, “I’m sorry. I didn’t listen to you when you wanted to talk to me, and it lead to an unnecessary fight. I should’ve listened...”

Coughing slightly, you held his hand that was on your cheek, “maybe I went overboard,”

“Not at all, I’d be hurt too if you were distancing yourself. I only realise now my ridiculous actions, I truly was distancing myself without realising it, I only ask if you can forgive me.”

Smiling softly, you shake your head, “don’t worry, I forgive you. Sometimes we do stupid things, and it’s all because we’re under stress.”

“I’ll be better.” he promised.

Raising an eyebrow, you grinned, “first, get better.”

[spookytomatoetuesday]

Project Wolf´s Cove

One – Tumbling towards catastrophe

The road ahead was winding, following a cliff´s edge. It was summer and therefore a bright day even though it was still early in the morning. It was definitely summer and the radio kept reminding its listeners of that fact. For the moment, however, the summer hits where too distracting. Becky turned the car radio off. She then returned to the conversation she had with her friend Rose who was sitting in the passenger seat. “The film wasn´t a period piece.”, Becky insisted. “It was set in a period in the past.”, Rose gave back. “No! The film is not on the nose about it, but it was set in the future. The future from when it was produced anyway.” Rose frowned at this just to reiterate: “Yes, and this means that it was still set ten years ago. That is the past. I cannot remember ten years ago, not with a living memory. It might as well be a chapter in a history book. Plus that it is a time ten years ago as imagined by people living 40 years ago. So this is like a page in a fictional history book from a freak dimension.” Becky laughed. She gave in: “Okay.” “Well, that is not my point anyway.”, Rose continued in a mockingly serious voice. “The man issue I wanted to raise was that the protagonist was absolutely alien to me. Not because he lived in a different time, mind you. I had issues with him because of how he acted.” “You mean how he dealt with a world full of isolated people and ravaged by a virus?”, Becky injected. “Yes! The illness is obviously transmitted from person to person. So you keep away from the next best person. Problem solved. The so-called protagonist, on the other hand, did it all wrong, sacrificing not only his life but also the one of his gal-pal.” “She was severely underdeveloped as a character. That was more scary then their fate actually.”, Becky observed. “True. There was just one reason the dude did dude around with her, mouthing about and ruining it all.”, Rose summarized. “Even if he made decisions for others that were not his to make, I think his motivations where understandable. You can’t be alone for all eternity.”, said Becky, while she turned on to the parking lot of Wolf´s Cove High School. “There needs to be a sense of community. If you can’t interact with the ones you actually spent time with, how do you know that you even exist and that you are not just an idea of a person that might be easily forgotten? Apart from that, loneliness hurts if it is not voluntary.” “Okay, fair. You raise some good points as well. I see a use for people in the plural there.”, Rose conceded. “Still, there is a danger to closeness that is not always only down to emotions.” She was quiet for a moment while she and Becky got out of the car, took their backpacks, and went towards the school entrance. “The thing is…”, Rose continued right before they climbed the four steps to the grand double doors. “You get only to take a limited number of breaths on this crummy planet. So you might as well be selective as to who you spent them with.” Becky smiled at her friend. “I thought I was.”

Biking to school always seemed like a good idea when the weather was clear and bright. That was until the last part of the road served as stark reminder that it was more sweaty than fun to bike upwards the serpentines leading to the cliff top where the school was located. John remembered that now. “This was not a good idea.”, John managed to say while slowing down despite putting all the more effort into cycling. His legs started to hurt. Neil nodded: “Fnaf.” “What?” “Fair enough.”, Neil pressed out. “Should it not be fen then?”, John wondered and had to slow down to do so. Neil shrugged and both continued their track up towards the high school in silence. Finally they made it to the big main parking lot and chained their bikes to a lantern there. They noticed Becky’s car as the only one parked here at this early hour. “Oh boy, if I’d known Becky would be here this early as well, I’d have asked her if she could pick us up on her way. Maybe next time. She’d surely do it.”, said Neil shaking his head. John just grunted and then decided to say defensively: “I do not think she is here that early regularly. No one but you is.” “And you, fellow friend and confidant. However, someone has to man the commissary and make sure that it is open when all the breakfast-skipping students arrive hungry from the long way up.”, said Neil. The two made their way to the side entrance of the main building. “I am not a fan of that name. When you say it, I can almost hear boots and trumpets.”, John commented. “The food stall then. After we’ve got rid of the old and truly awful name, we have no official title for it. I’ll still call it commissary on my CV. Universities and prospective employers like that kind of entrepreneurship and lexical knowledge. You should get an activity like this too. They expect this.” “I thought it is the point to stick out, to be so unique that others are interested in you. How does doing what everybody does the same, because that is what everybody has to do, help there?”, John asked while Neil unlocked the foods stand and went into the back where the wares were stored. Neil pointed at some packages of soft drinks. “Need to unpack those and put them into the fridge first.” While they both got to it, Neil added: “So we both understand the system. There is what they say and there is what they want. Still, I think my way to deal with that could pay off in the end. Maybe even more so than yours.” John nodded when Neil reached out for another soda can. They finished the work in silence. Afterwards, Neil put on his work apron and took up his place behind the counter. Above him on the wall painted in a fresh white there was the faint shadow of a mascot which had fallen out of time. In front of him, there was the tip jar while the cassette with the change was hidden under the counter. Neil seemed a little tired but content. John waved to him. “I will try to get some more sleep in on one of the lounge sofas before class. See you later.”, John said. “See you.” The most comfortable couches stood in the lounge of the Science Building that was still missing an S. So John went directly there after leaving the food stall. Once in the lounge, he noticed a movement coming from the astronomy room. Through the large windows in the double door he could see Becky and Rose working on something inside. He hesitated. Beyond the doors was the opportunity for a nice conversation with his friends. He should say hello. He was sure that would be nice. Still, he hesitated. For no reason and yet he still did not jump at this possibility. On the contrary, he had to push himself even though it was a push towards people he liked. For a moment, he shifted his weight from one foot to the other and back again. This was a warm-up and a collecting of resources. Then he knocked on the window in the door. They noticed him and he had to go inside now. “Good morning.”, John greeted. Becky answered with a “Hello, how are you?”, while Rose waved and nodded. “What are you doing?”, John asked to avoid an awkward break. Becky was still looking at him. “We got permission to use the school´s telescope to track the asteroid tonight.”, Becky explained. “It has a projector and with this camera here, we will be able to record the passage of our little friend while it passes through the night sky. We just set it up now before class.” “Interesting.” John strolled closer to the telescope while being careful not to touch anything. “Yeah.”, Rose added, “I hope the asteroid breaks open and reveals a truth about the nature of nature that is so unexpected, belittling, and unsettling, that it drops us into sheer horror.” John looked at her decisively unsurprised. “Or maybe it is just a cool image of an asteroid. Astronomy rocks and space is great.”, Rose more pretended to emote than said. But then she paused and added sincerely: “There is beauty among the stars.” “With some luck…,”, Becky added, completely serious, while finishing up with some adjustments, “We will get another glimpse at the vastness that surrounds us. How could not look at the sky with curiosity.” “Tonight you say?”, John inquired. “Yes.”, Becky answered. “Around midnight, it should be dark enough and we should be able to see it even with the naked eye.” “Will you be here and watch it?” “No.”, Rose said, stretching the o maybe a bit more than it was called for. “They do not want us here at night. So we have to set this up and hope for a great recording.” “Well… hope it works out.” John smiled at Becky and nodded at Rose. Then he excused himself and headed for the couches. He did not want to sleep just outside the astronomy room. So he went to the relatively lumpy couches in the Art building, named after local celebrity Burton Art. Becky and Rose continued to set up the telescope until the doors closed behind John. Rose peeked over the telescope and through the windows in the doors. When she saw that John was beyond earshot, she nodded as if she was part of a secret ring of spies. “Nice nice.”, Becky uttered in lieu of anything more substantial to say and tried to look even more busy. “Yeah. Nice how nice you two still are with another.”, Rose probed. “Almost as if it did not hurt.” “Hm…”, Becky answered. “It still does hurt a little. But it just was not… Well, it does still hurt. There´s a scar now on the heart. Maybe it´s healing, sometimes it feels like that. So it won´t hurt in the future or only when the weather is about to change. In any case, I feel that it´ll stay in some form.” “Sounds at least like it was real.”, Rose concluded and duck back down behind the telescope. The day that had begun so early dragged on in the middle. Biology class was turned into self-study by the absence of the regular teacher and the lack of a qualified substitute. John flipped through the textbook with his right, while his head rested on his left. There were not going to be any more test or quizzes or projects this year. Knowing that, John did not pay much attention to the contents of the pages and let his thoughts wander. “Do you think you would notice it as different when you were a duck?”, he quietly asked Neil who sat next to him. “Up until now I thought this self-study was even less useful than sex ed last week.”, Neil moaned loudly instead of giving an answer. Nearby, sitting at a bench next to Becky, Rose snickered. Some other students laughed, most were indifferent and bored. The moment passed. “Like, if you woke up tomorrow and were a duck. Would you remember how it was to be a person? Would you want to remember?”, John continued. “All I can say to this is: I hope not – on the duck thing. My uncle hunts those. This would make for super awkward Thanksgivings.” Meanwhile Becky read the newspaper, searching out the reports on the asteroid. “You cannot pretend to do biology while actually doing some work on another science.”, Rose insisted as she noticed. “That is like cheating. A weird way of cheating, but still… You should at least cheat on biology with social studies, or history. English or a foreign language would work as well, I guess.” “What are you doing?”, Becky asked back, looked up from the paper and at her friend. Rose pointed to her sketch pad. “Take it in. These are the initial drawings of the cycle of Solomar. You see them here as first mortal before they conquer the world by storm.”, Rose exclaimed. “Looks great.”, Becky said, studying the drawings. “I like this lone heroine. Looks a bit like a barbarian, like as if she was about wrestle with a dragon.” “How do you know that she is a lone heroine?”, Rose asked. “She’s one of yours.”, Becky said. At some point, the time for self-study officially ended. The students packed their things quickly into their bags and were in the midst of storming out. Neil strolled over to Rose and Becky, braving the current of leaving classmates. “Rose, you have a minute? There is something we should talk about. Something important.”, Neil announced. “Important like art, or just like life and death?”, Rose inquired while stuffing her textbook in her backpack. “Or like love?”, Becky added with a side-glance at Rose. Neil hesitated, clearly thinking about a reply. “Super important. This is about the social studies project we did together.”, he explained. “The one we handed in and got a grade? I thought the circle was completed, the fate sealed.”, Rose answered. She then waved Becky a short goodbye as Becky was leaving for English less prepared than she could have been. “Yeah, let´s see about that. I don´t think that it should be sealed. We should talk to Ms. French about the grade. -See you Becky.- Fran agrees with me on that. Let´s meet her now and go to Ms. French.” “Ok. But afterwards it is lunch time. Actually, I think it is lunch time now – but if you insist, I will postpone my meal. I hope you will use this chunk of my life time gifted to you to a proper end.”, Rose stated and grabbed her bag. “Of course. Have I ever wasted my or anybody else’s time?”, Neil replied. Both they then left the classroom and made her way to the Art building and Ms. French´s office. The cafeteria was emptier than usual. Rose and Neil had no problems finding an empty table. “Told you that it would go well. We just had to highlight the amount of work that had gone into the project.”, Neil repeated. “Hm.”, Rose replied and then decided to dig into the pasta instead of expanding on that. “I mean, your contribution was obvious. The illustrations were both bloody and really good. They might have distracted Ms. French a bit. It was her fault, though, as she gave us this particular topic. Thanks for showing up with Fran and me anyway. Now we can be satisfied with the grades.”, Neil said, a fork with food hovering close to his mouth. Rose nodded. “It was a fun project. We should hang out more often. Like we used to in the golden days of our youth. Like, like we used to up until a few weeks ago.”, she added. “Yeah.”, he put down the fork again. “Only… weird without the other two and weird with them now. That was easier before.” “True.” She eyed a suspicious lump in the red sauce. “There is one group-thingy I like and now it is that… weird. I wonder if they thought about what they are doing to us when they… did what they did. Now we are like a family, divorce and all.” “Hah, true.”, Neil exclaimed and then finally took a bite. “Maye we can educate the others and reduce the awkwardness.” “There’s only so much time before everybody moves away for college next year.”, Neil said in a low voice, leaving it open if this was unclear if this was an argument for or against. “Oh.”, Rose grunted. “Maybe we should not have sought to improve our grades then. And we should find a way to drag the ones of the others down. Then we can repeat a year or two or more. Stupid maybe, but happy.” “Yeah… no. Not sure if this would even work.” Neil decided it was time to go over to the dessert. “So this remains an issue for future me an you. It is also for future Becky and John, of course.”, Rose suggested. She discovered that the lump was just an oddly shaped noodle and ate without concern. “Future me and future you, future us, and them too.”, Neil repeated. Both he and Rose lifted their heads, smiled, and listened in anticipation. Instead of music, Becky arrived with a food trey and sat down next to Rose. “Hi. How are you two?”, Becky asked. “We are doomed due to our feelings and the feelings of others.”, Rose declared. “Of course we are. But who are the others this time?”, Becky wondered. Rose sighed theatrically and Neil smirked before shaking his head. After lunch, Rose and Becky had some time before the next class that was not already assigned to any task or activity and went outside. Rose walked directly to one of the battered blue payphones and punched in a number. “Hello, I would like to talk to the Ericsons, please. Yes, whoever of them is available right now… I am their daughter. The other one. Yes… thank you Mr. nurse.” While Rose talked to the bodiless voice in a strange city, Becky settled in the corner made by the phone and the concrete wall of the main building. There was a pause as Rose waited for her parents. Becky imagined how now their names would be called out over PA, how one of them would move through the hallways of the hospital, looking for the next available phone. While she imagined this, Becky looked across the school parking lot and then beyond its chain-link fence at the town across the small straight. It was nestled on that small ragged island with curved bays and towering cliffs with sharp edges. It was a rugged place between the ocean and the mainland. It was as if the town was clinging to a rock among the waves. There were a lot of houses with great views as they were built close to the cliffs. Even greater must have been the view for the cedars. The trees filled still the spaces people had left for them. Some crept very close to the edges and others even hang out a bit over the ocean, just barely hanging on to the rock. And yet they did. They even managed to reach out to the sky. Some storms were strong enough to break them and take them away. But a number of them was still left. Becky had some favourites among these cedars. Old and brave ones she always sought out when she had a minute to look out over her home town. Faster than expected, Rose was connected. She exchanged individual words with one of her parents. By the sound of this, it was her mother. No, Becky decided after three more words, probably it was her dad. “Well but that is good… like, given the situation. Hugh her from me… if, if this is possible. …Yeah. Bye.” Rose hung up. “Well that was… yeah, good. At least she is fine. For the moment at least she is fine. That is a win.” Becky turned towards her friend and nodded, then laid an arm around her shoulders. “Yes it is, Rose. I´m glad she’s doing ok.” John stood, his bike and himself ready to leave, already on the parking lot, a few steps away from the main building. Neil, on the other hand, still fiddled with his padlock, aiming to free his bike, but as of yet unable to make that plan a reality. Then he stopped suddenly in mid-fiddling. “Shit… should take a look and check if Pete has locked the commissary. I guess I should.” Neil wavered a bit. “Yes, should do that.” He let the padlock be for the moment and sprinted back to the main entrance. “Maybe go ahead without me. We can meet at my place. One of my parents is probably home. They´ll let you in. And if it´s my dad, you might get some chocolate milk while you wait.”, Neil said to John over his shoulder. “No. It´s ok.”, replied John. “I´ll wait. Let´s go together.” Neil gesticulated vaguely but then nodded. When he passed the doors and went into the main building, he passed Rose, and both gave each other high fives in passing. Rose then made her way to John. She stopped beside him on the parking lot under the warm sun. “All done for the day?”, Rose inquired. “Yes, all done.”, he reported. “Not just for today even. There is nothing going on tomorrow, right? Besides getting on the bus, I mean.” “True. So you are good and settled for the whole year then. Great!” “You?” “I am done as well. Done and done. Except for the asteroid business, but this is more of an extra credit and in any case something I do more to give a hand to Becky.”, Rose replied. “Look at us. We got all taken care of. So if we were to die now, we leave nothing behind that can further bind us as wraiths to this plane of existence.” “Lucky us.”, John smiled. “Could be an interesting experience to be a wraith, though.” “Nah.” Rose shook her head. “Probably not. Besides, that is something that you can try in the far-away future after dying of old age.” She mustered him. “How is our story going?” “It is going well… I hope. Maybe a few more weeks of work and then it is ready to be rejected like the other ones.” Rose nodded gravely before cocking her head and smiling a bit mischievously. “Well if this is not something to live for.” She was about to add something, but in this moment, Becky drove towards the two. She stopped the car and let the passenger side door swing open for Rose to get in. “Have a good one.”, John said. “See you.”, Rose gave back. “And remember: Always create something that, if aliens from the future would find it as only surviving artefact of our civilization would understand us at least a bit. Picture mankind naked and write about it.” “Will do.”, John said and laughed. Then he and Becky exchanged a smile and a wave, before the girls got into the truck and drove off. John was not alone for long, though. Neil returned right afterwards. “Oh, should have asked her to give us a lift.”, Neil exclaimed. “She’d have done it.” “Of course Becky would have done it.”, John said flatly. “Her pickup even has space for bikes in the back. That would have been great.” “We are not really going in their direction.”, John replied. Neil just shrugged and then went to unlock and unchain his bike. “Could transport at least one caged dinosaur on that truck. God, how I miss that old rusty lady.”, Neil exclaimed. After a brief pause, he added: “I mean the truck. With old lady, I mean the vehicle.” He then finally was able to open his rusty lock and free his bike. He went over to John and both took to their saddles and started to bike down to town. “Think Becky is going to sell her car when she moves for college?”, Neil wondered aloud and very eager to move the conversation forward. “Ask her. But do not take it for free.” As everything failed, there was nothing left but drifting into the cold darkness. All that while the mind raced and tried to imagine the end. A whole world was about to lose itself in the eternal night. The end and the way there would be lonely. Soon it would end, but the time until then was still long. Too long not to fear madness before the darkness. But then there was a little blue spot shining in all the darkness. Maybe this one was hospitable enough, close enough to save a life.

[curestardust]

if you want: something like Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei or Monogatari just more lighthearted / quirky fucking characters and story / randomness galore

If I say the words “Studio Shaft, quirky and Hiroshi Kamiya’ what anime pops into your head?

For most it’d be the Monogatari franchise. For some it would be Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei. And for a select few it’d be Arakawa.

Due to how much these 3 have in common, it’s almost impossible to not compare them, even subconsciously.

Our story begins with Ichinomiya Kou, the son of an incredibly successful bussiness man. He has been brought up all his life with the idea that he must not be indebted to others in any way, ever. Well, he runs into a problem when he is stuck on a bridge in his underwear as he is trying to climb a pillar to reach his pants. A mysterious girl fishing there watches on in silence after he turns her help down. Suddenly, the pillar breaks and he almost drowns in the river but gets saved by the mysterious girl. Kou suddenly finds his entire life being indebted to this girl and desperately tries to compensate her but she  only asks for one thing: for him to be his lover.

The Arakawa riverband is actually the home to a bunch of fucking weirdos as Kou later finds out. The girl who saved her, Nino, keeps saying the she is a Venusian. Then we have a guy in a Kappa suit pop up who is the “village chief” and keeps insisting that he most definitely is NOT a man in a kappa suit. He gives our main character a new name that he will use in his new home: Recruit.

We also have a buff former military man dressed in a nun suit who’s called Sister and a musician in a star mask called Hoshi and a few more.

So, this is where the comparison being a problem comes up. The weird characters, nonsensical story, the colour scheme, the quick cuts, reactions and overall presentation just makes you think of the other 2 works I listed above (if you’ve seen them, obviously). And that’s a problem cause Arakawa feels like a lesser product of those 2.

First the presentation. This whole anime being played out in the same location feels restricting. Even though we have random buildings, the majority of the time we’re outside where the dominating colours are blue (river and the sky) and green (grass). I found it all a bit boring after a while. The quick cuts and seperate shots were also lackluster. Especially in Monogatari, these work to compensate for the long dialouges, keeping the eyes occupied while listening to characters talk. Here, these seperate shots aren’t drawn that well and they often use muted, pastel or just 1-2 colours for them.

There isn’t a story here, like, at all. There’s some bigger overarching plot in the second half but it gets resolved pretty fast. Arakawa mostly has short stories that are based on the randomness of the characters and whatever they get up to. So then, what this show needs is great characters. Well…

The cast is silly. As weird as you would expect. However, randomness is only funny if we know why it’s random aka we need to be aware of what is considered “common sense” in the world to really understand how weird the actions of the characters are. Our “common sense meter” would’ve been Kou/Rec, however in just a few episodes he becomes part of the weird community and finds less and less stuff weird. He still can’t get over certain people and whatever they do but he reacts less to them. This is basically an inbetween of Nozomu-sensei and Koyomi. Koyomi is almost completely seperated from the events while Nozomu-sensei is basically the weirdest out of the bunch. Kou is part of the weird gang himself yet still feels distant from them, making it hard to relate to him but not making him as funny and quirky as the others around him. Still, seeing Kou’s life philosophy completely get flipped on its head is fun to watch. 

This review has really gotten away from me, I don’t even remember what point I wanted to make. So to wrap up: if you really want something in the vein of Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei and Monogatari but would be fine with a more lighthearted approach, you can give Arakawa a try. If you haven’t seen either series but would like to see something non-conventional and quirky, I’d also recommend this. [7/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

if you want: cute girls being friends and spies / SPIES / about 3 plot twists / nice fight animation

While scouring the offering of the last Fall Season’s, my eyes immediately drew to this anime. Of course, I’d have watched it just for the fact that I saw a bunch of girls being badass but even more, the whole concept (and even the artstyle) reminded me of Princess Principal (x) which was one of the most surprisingly great anime I’ve seen so I was hoping for something similiar with Release the Spyce.

The plot isn’t anything special. Our introduction starts with Momo, who gets befriended by some girls at her new school. She is later told that these 5 girls are part of a secret spy organization, Tsukikage, who defend the city from the shadows. The Tsukikage are all young girls, as they use special spices that enchance their ability to fight and the effectiveness of the spice lessens, the older one gets. Tsukikage has been fighitng against an evil organization called Moryo for a long time.

As you can see, the story itself is pretty generic so the anime has to rely on other offerings to keep people’s attention.

First would be the characters, more or less. The cast has a varied set of personalities and chemistry between them. Due to the fact that 3 of the girls (including Momo) are apprentices to 3 of the older members, who are their mentors, we mostly see interactions with those 3 pairs. However, even with that I felt that there was some untapped potential with the girls and their unique relationships. Don’t get me wrong, everyone gets some background story and a decent amount of time establishing their characters but there still something missing. As I wreck my brain though, with everything that happens, the only thing that could’ve fixed this issue would’ve been more episodes. For its runtime of 12 episodes, the anime does as much as it can.

The second thing that can draw you in, is the missions and the animation of the fights. The shorter “mini missions” didn’t do much for me, but the ones that spanned across 1 or 2 whole episodes were really interesting to watch. The animation, while lacking in some departments, mostly shined in the fight scenes. Really, there isn’t much else to say about this one. If you want some engaging spy missions with nice animation, here you go!

Release the Spyce is very tame, everything considering, up until episode 10. That’s when shit goes DOWN and we get like 3 plot twists on top of each other and whew...I really liked it! I would’ve wished that the atmosphere we get at the very end would’ve been present at least here and there throughout the rest of the anime, but it does make it even more shocking. And I’ll stop here cause I won’t be spoiling.

RtS is a nice watch but it’s restricted by its short runtime. Nothing really can be done about that unfortunately. If you are interested based on what I’ve written above, give it a try! [7/10] (x)

Recommend: HELL Yeah! | Yes | Eh??? | Nope | This anime killed my parents

[do-your-socks-have-holes-in-them]

On the Other Side / Ch3: Hide and Seek

Last / Masterpost / Next

Summary: For the past thirteen years, a secretive organization has been raising two groups of superpowered children. Half of them, since their very first memories, have been told they’ll grow up to be brave and strong superheroes; the rest were taught a much harsher view of the world, and groomed to become villains. Neither group knows of the other’s existence. But when a certain trio of heroes-to-be meets two future villains who really just want to be left alone, they all realize how much they haven’t been told.

Warnings: non-graphic violence, bullying, child abuse, sympathetic/good Deceit (Devon) is a main character

A/N: school has started happening to me in earnest. still feel pretty good about having the next chapter done on schedule, but can’t promise anything

Read on AO3

It wasn’t hard for Patton to sense where the two boys had gone.  In fact, he found himself actually pulling back a little from their emotional auras, wincing at the waves of panic he could feel from them.  Logan tapped his arm to bring him back to reality when a worried fog started accumulating around him.  He shook himself out of it and led his friends back down the hallway the way they’d come, stopping at the doorway of one of the classrooms in that hall.

Roman insisted on being the first into the darkened room: “It might be dangerous, you don’t know!”  He sounded entirely too excited about that prospect.  Logan rolled his eyes, but decided to let him have his fun.  Patton, however, got impatient when the dramatic scan of the room was taking too long and ducked under Roman’s arm, ignoring his noise of protest.  He was- for once- a little more focused on the main issue at hand.

“Hello?” Patton called softly, flipping the lights on.  “Anyone in here?  We’re not going to hurt you, I promise!”

He knew they were in there, of course- and could tell where their hiding spot was- but he wanted to let them show themselves on their own terms.  He’d felt a spike of fear from them when they heard him and his friends walk in, and he didn’t want to scare them even more by actually going over there and exposing them.  Behind him, Logan quietly closed the door; just because Patton was trying to make them feel comfortable didn’t mean he should risk them running off again.  Roman just stood there, fidgeting with a ball of light between his hands and dimming the rest of the room in the process.  He still wasn’t sure how to feel about the new friends Patton seemed determined to make.

Patton frowned.  It seemed like they were still scared of him.  No one had ever been actually scared of him before in the entirety of his ten years of life, and it was really starting to upset him.  He couldn’t get too upset right now, though, because he needed to be calm instead so he could help them be calm.  He took a deep breath and tried to focus, like he’d been learning in his meditation class.

A gentle breeze swirled around the room, shifting a few pieces of paper and ruffling everyone’s hair.  Roman blinked as some of his nervousness seemed to drain into the floor beneath him and, in turn, let the light drain out of his hands and back into the room around him, only keeping a few faint strands to play with.  Logan relaxed his posture as well, giving Patton a small smile, which he didn’t see because he still had his eyes closed for the whole focusing thing.  He exhaled and opened them after a few more seconds, and all three of them waited hopefully to see if the other two in the room would be convinced it was safe to come out of hiding.

Half a minute went by painfully slowly, and Patton began to slump a little.  It was looking like his gentle approach wasn’t going to work after all.  There went his chance of resolving the situation without any more conflict… wait!

Everyone perked up at the muffled shifting noises coming from one of the cabinets under the counter at the back of the room.  A second later, it was pushed open, and the boys tumbled out and ended up sprawled on the floor in front of them for the second time in fifteen minutes.  They were even more disheveled than before after cramming themselves in with a bunch of dusty school supplies.  The small one recovered first, clutching a not-very-sharp pencil in each hand and jumping up as if he still expected a fight.  His friend got to his feet behind him, brushed himself off and grabbed his arm to keep him from doing anything stupid, while Roman pulled Patton back a little to be safe.  Hopefully this round of awkwardly staring each other down would turn out better than the last.

Patton laughed nervously and struggled to keep projecting calm to everyone.  “Okay, guys, I think we might’ve got off on the wrong foot earlier…  we didn’t mean to scare you, really!”

There was silence.  The taller of the two boys managed to meet Patton’s eyes for a moment with a tight half-smile, but the other was aiming a distrustful glare at Roman, who made a face at him in response behind Patton’s back.

Okay, this was… still very tense.  Patton wilted a bit at the complete lack of response he’d gotten, but he wasn’t giving up yet.  Just keep talking?  Yeah, that would probably work eventually, right?  “Um… oh, uh, my name’s Patton!  And that’s Logan-” he waved a hand behind himself and nearly smacked Logan’s arm- “and this is Roman and he’s nice really, um, don’t kick him again please?  Or… stab him with pencils?”  He let out a nervous giggle and slapped a hand over his mouth to try and get himself under control.  Roman gave him a look, hurt that his best friend would laugh at the injustice that had been done to him, and Logan just sighed.

“What he’s trying to say,” Logan cut in while Patton was incapacitated, “is that we don’t intend you any harm.”  He looked at them over his glasses, which didn’t quite have the desired effect when coming from an eleven-year-old.  “However, since we’ve been introduced now, I think it would only be right for you to return the favor and tell us who you are.  …And put the pencils away.”

The two exchanged a look and then, after a brief hesitation, a small nod.  The one brandishing said writing tools surrendered them to his friend, who set them on the counter- still notably within reach- and cleared his throat.

“I’m… my name is Devon and he’s Virgil,” he said, still holding on to Virgil’s arm.  His eyes darted over to Logan and the closed door, and his grip tightened.  “I apologize for… him earlier… it was an accident, he didn’t mean it, promise, we’re really sorry…”

Roman crossed his arms and interjected before Patton could go and say that it was totally fine or something like that.  “If he’s really sorry for attacking me, which I doubt, why doesn’t he apologize?”

“Ro…”

“What? I just want him to actually apologize, is that so much to ask?”  He was too preoccupied with being indignant to immediately notice Virgil doing pretty much the opposite of that, tensing up again and baring his teeth at him.  Jeez, the kid was practically feral.

“Roman.  You’re scaring them again.”  Patton tugged him backwards, and he grumbled under his breath about unfairness.  “But… it would be nice if you would say sorry for kicking him, Virgil.”

Virgil flinched at the use of his name, and Devon pulled him back against his chest in an attempt to calm him.  “He doesn’t like to talk,” he explained, mentally willing them not to push it any further.  “He- he only talks to me.”

Roman blinked and rubbed the back of his neck.  “Oh.  Um…”  He looked at Virgil again.  “Well, could you just… nod or give me a thumbs up or something, then?”

“Let him have this,” Logan advised, appearing over Roman’s shoulder.

Virgil squirmed and glared at the floor.  He didn’t like everyone looking at him.  But if it would make them leave him alone…  He glanced up and gave Roman the world’s most halfhearted jerky nod.

“Satisfied?” Logan asked drily.

“As a matter of fact, yes, I am.”

“Oh thank god,” Devon breathed, quietly enough that only Virgil heard it.  He started edging towards the door, which was currently unguarded.  “Great, we’ll just be on our way then-”

“Wait!”

They both froze and looked at Patton.  Virgil took a tiny step back, grabbing Devon’s sleeve in preparation.  Of course it wouldn’t be that easy.

“Nonono, I’m sorry, nothing bad-”

That sounded fake.

“-it’s just… where are you going to go?  Because I know you’re not in our class and if you stay here you’re going to get in trouble and I saw, you know, where you were before and it didn’t seem very… nice and- and you were scared.”

Devon stiffened, and Virgil wanted to bristle at the assertion that he had been scared just then or ever before, but… okay, maybe it was the adrenaline-plus-exhaustion headrush, but he felt weirdly chill about the whole situation and Patton in particular, like maybe… maybe for once someone who said they wouldn’t hurt him was being honest about it.

“So I kinda thought- I mean, you don’t have to if you don’t want but maybe you could come with us and stay in our room?  You can hide if anybody comes in and it’ll be like a sleepover!  And then in the morning you can figure out where to go, and we can help you, okay?”

Patton held out his hand to them and attempted to hold in an excited grin.  Virgil and Devon looked at him and then at each other, communicating purely through small changes in facial expression.  A… sleepover?  That was pretty much a foreign concept to them, but not one that sounded too bad in theory.  It could still be a trap, of course- but on the other hand, it wouldn’t make much sense to lure them there when they were already cornered here.  Frankly, at this point, they didn’t have much to lose compared to the amount of trouble they’d be in once one of their teachers caught them here, wherever here even was.  And fuck it- maybe Patton really did mean what he said, and he would help them, and that was a better hope than they’d had in a while.  With a final nudge from Virgil, Devon swallowed nervously, then reached out and took Patton’s hand.

[jjajiki]

Trainee

Chaeyoung x Reader 

A/N: this turned out sadder than i thought it would.

Words: 1.288

Being a JYP trainee is quite difficult. Not only as a trainee but also as a foreigner, things don’t work out the way you’d expect them to most of the time on your everyday life. There’s always worse is your go-to motivation. Debut is your biggest dream and since the first step has been made, after you got accepted to one of the biggest entertainment companies in Korea, you know that there’re more steps yet to be made with a little hard work.

Among the current JYP trainees, you’re the most capable on dancing. That sure does keep you going but something that doesn’t, is definitely the lack of communication with anyone in the company. You haven’t made any friends, you’ve always been distant and shy because of your Korean or just because of your introverted self. You acknowledge that this is considered as a disadvantage by the company since the point is to debut and even live under the same roof with some of these trainees, but that only makes it harder for you to finally reach to anyone.

The one thing you are confident with doing in the agency’s building, is dancing. Even when idols come around on the practice rooms, you’ll be first in line whether they’re practicing with you or they’re giving the trainees some tips. You haven’t met all the JYP idols, just the ones you’d bump into or have a lesson with.

You really hate it when you wake up early because it only makes these hard days bigger, but every time you do,  you decide to take advantage of it. Morning practices are always the quietest since not a lot people are on the building. In fact, there’s usually none in the dancing practice rooms so you just blast whatever music you want and enjoy yourself.

This time around though, as you entered the building you could hear noises from the upper floors. You stopped curious outside of your usual practice room on the 2nd floor and glanced on the other side of the hallway where you guessed those noises were coming from. It was on the idol’s area so you couldn’t take a closer look, but all you could see was that the door from the rap practicing room was open. Weird.

You were almost done with your warm up, it felt like 20 minutes had already passed and even though you could hear some chatting right outside of the practice room, nobody had joined you yet.  At least you thought so. You weren’t really paying attention because you were too focused on your moves.

You stopped for a minute to grab some water when you saw somebody with the corner of your eye sitting with their legs crossed on the other side of the room, right next to the door. You could tell by the silence as you were turning down the music that it was just the two of you in the room.

The person smiled at you and all you did was blink several times and gulp while realizing who that person was.

It was Twice’s Chaeyoung, the main rapper who you never had the opportunity to meet or see before. She looked more beautiful in person which was hard for you to accept because she already looked too beautiful on screen. You greeted her while thinking that your bias list just got wrecked and she did the same.

“Isn’t it a bit tiring to start your day like that?” She asked nicely.

“I didn’t have anything else to do..so..” You replied awkwardly.

She was piercing you that look which was feeling heavier and heavier second by second, so you tried to break it by staring around which only made look more awkward.

“You’re Y/N right? I’ve heard about you.” She said all of a sudden and you widened your eyes.

She came closer and stood looking herself in the mirror. She started doing some stretching while you were trying to stop yourself from staring like a total idiot and answer properly.

“h-heard about.. me?” You asked not knowing what you should do or say in front of her. This whole situation was making you nervous and it was difficult to ignore.

“Of course. Whenever we talk about trainees and stuff with the member you’re always in the conversation.” She said while lifting her hair up to a messy bun.

You could’ve sworn that you were staring at this simple move with your mouth wide open and not only because you just found out that probably all the Twice members know that you exist.  You shook your head and cleared your throat.

“Momo unnie talks best about you.. and it’s hard to make an impression on her you know, so I’m pretty sure you’re talented.” She then said, praising you.

“Thank you..” Is all that you said and you were pretty sure she had already noticed your nervousness. This time it wasn’t your introverted self, it was nervousness and you couldn’t understand why.

She then made a few more questions about you, your age, your nationality etc. which thankfully made you feel more comfortable.

You two were chatting and getting to know each other for an hour, almost forgetting the reason that you both were here. Chaeyoung seemed to notice that first.

“I think I ruined your practice, I should go” She said and stood up.

“What? No no..I mean- It’s okay, I am here every morning lately so it doesn’t really matter” You said and stood up too.

“Sounds like you’re a morning person” She flashed a smile and you felt something warming your cheeks.

“Well, it’s just- I can’t really sleep for too many hours lately” You admitted while scratching awkwardly your head. You immediately regretted what you said though. It felt like it was a useless information that she probably wouldn’t care about.

“Why so?” She asked curiously but you weren’t sure if you should bother her with your issues.

She noticed that you were hesitant and came closer to you. You could feel your whole body tense up as she was getting closer but you tried to hide it. She gently placed her hand on your shoulder and suddenly this whole tense you were feeling seemed to fade away with her touch.

“I know that it’s difficult for you since I’ve trained with people like you and seen their struggles but sleep and meals are the two things you shouldn’t be skipping. That’s the key to a successful kind of practice, otherwise it’s almost meaningless and two times more tiring for you.” She comforted you while looking at you with those caring puppy eyes of hers.

There was a moment of silence because you got completely lost on her words. They really spoke to you.

“Thank you..I’ll try” You said softly and she nodded satisfied.

She released your shoulder and turned around as she was heading towards the door.

“I should go now, it was nice meeting you! Please take care from now on..” She cutely smiled and you smiled back at her.

“Yes, thank you, it was nice meeting you too” You just said and she left.

You immediately felt like your heart just sang because you were already missing her hand on your shoulder. Or her attention on you, or the caring look on her eyes when she was looking at you…oh well.

You knew that these thoughts weren’t supposed to reach your mind but at this state you’re completely sure that they will be there every time you see her. Afraid of what might happen if you see her around like that again, you ended up on the same conclusion for yourself. To stay distant.

[whillsofstars]

Chapter 13

REY------------------------------------------------------

“Rey!” Finn called, dipping his head under the belly of a star fighter, trying his best to get a better view of her as she screwed in the last set of bolts needed to secure the main computer hatch. “Hey, Rey? Can you hear me?”

“Yeah, I can hear you,” she called turning her head away from her work, giving Finn her full attention. “What’s up?”

It had been a long day outfitting the new fighters with tracking devices, cannons, special shields, and there was still plenty more work to get done before nightfall. Rey was hoping Finn’s interruption wouldn’t take long. She wanted to finish early, leaving plenty of time to practice lightsaber stances and techniques after grabbing a quick bite to eat.

She hadn’t practiced her swordsmanship in ages and she was itching to get back at it. Her recovery had taken longer than expected, particularly the recovery from the toxin. It had weakened her quite a bit. Often, she would tire quickly and needed to rest even when performing the most basic repair work. Both Poe and Finn made sure she received the smallest projects until she was ready to handle the longer hours and more strenuous tasks.

So when Finn now slid himself closer to Rey under the y-wing she assumed that he had simply come to check on her again.

She soon learned that this was not the case.

A last minute meeting had been called by General Organa and that it would convene in the next twenty minutes. All leading commanders and a few others, including Rey, were mandated to attend.

Together, they shimmied their way out from under the star fighter and made their way across the bustling landing pad to the makeshift command center.

The room was already buzzing with anticipation before they arrived, everyone trying to see if anyone else knew something they didn’t.

No one had any intel, of course, or if they happened to know, they were waiting for the Leia to share the news instead.

Finn and Rey found Poe across the room and he ushered them over to take a seat next to him. Moments later, Rose walked in and Rey shifted over one seat to let her sit beside Finn, who beamed, clearly grateful for the gesture.

Everyone continued contributing to the chatter until Leia’s commanding presence filled the space. Silence immediately fell upon all those present, both out of respect and curiosity, as they quickly stood to acknowledge her rank.

“At ease,” she said, dismissing the small crowd with a wave of her hand. The look on her face was stone cold, perhaps to hide her true feelings.

“I suppose you’re all wondering why I’ve called you here so suddenly and without an explanation,” she said, surveying each face in the crowd. She paused momentarily on Rey before continuing.

“I’ll make this brief and get right to it,” Leia stated matter-of-factly. “We received news this morning that the First Order has issued a warrant and bounty on Kylo Ren.” Officer Connix flicked a switch and brought up a projection of Kylo Ren’s - Ben Solo’s - unmasked face along with the terms for reward should anyone bring him in. “It seems as though the First Order has denounced him as their Supreme Leader and he is currently on the run with no leads to his whereabouts.”

“Maybe the First Order got tired of fixing all the damage he does to their own ships. That one’s got a temper on him,” Finn quipped causing the room to break into quiet snickers, all except Leia and Rey. Kylo Ren’s rage was known across the galaxy, but the other side of him was missed entirely.

Leia continued to stand in silence until those present took notice and quiet returned once more.

“Funny Finn, but not exactly,” she said stiffly.

Finn shifted uncomfortably in his seat while Leia continued on. “It appears as though Kylo Ren has been charged with treason to the First Order, the crime being the murder of the late Supreme Leader Snoke.”

“I thought Jedi Rey bested old Snoke. What’s this about Kylo Ren taking him out?” said the officer who oversaw the Resistance communications technology.

Uh-oh. Now it was Rey’s turn to speak. Throughout the Resistance, everyone believed that it was she who killed him. That is, everyone but Leia and Finn believed that she has been the one to finish the job. Rey wanted her closest confidants to know the truth, but they insisted that she keep the details of what really occurred quiet. For starters, it gave her credibility with the small remnants of Resistance personnel. They all believed her to be more skilled than what she really was. It also helped that no one ever asked her to retell the story. Since she escaped the Supremacy and it was Kylo Ren who led the attack at Crait, everyone assumed Ren was out for blood following the demise of their leader’s death. In reality, Kylo had just been angry that she refused his offer.

So now, it seemed, that the time has come to set the record straight. She drew a deep breath and tried to summon what confidence she had. Rey knew the truth needed to come out, but she hoped that there would have been a chance to prove herself first.

Here goes nothing, she thought as she moved to standing to face the officer.

“I’m aware that some of you believe that Snoke died at my own hand, but I’m afraid that it is untrue,” she said as hushed murmurs began filling the silence. “Before I joined the Resistance at Crait,” she continued, “I had gone to the Supremacy trying to convince Kylo Ren to join our side - a move that would have turned the tide in this war.”

More whispers echoed throughout the room.

“But it didn’t go as planned. I was taken before Snoke and tortured. Snoke tried to get into my mind. He wanted to know where Master Skywalker was hiding.” A shiver ran down her spine at the memory of how intrusive it was to have Snoke penetrate her mind.

“When Snoke was finished, he urged Kylo Ren to kill me - to complete his training. But he didn’t. I thought he would, but he didn’t. Instead, he used a trick and put an end to Snoke instead. After that, the Raddus sped into the Supremacy, and that’s when I took my opportunity to leave.”

Now people were talking louder and more openly amongst one another. Rey could only guess what this news would mean to the people in this room. One thing was certain though: it seemed her news insighted far more questions.

Another officer, one Rey hadn’t personally met before, but had recognized as one of Leia’s top ranking officers, stood up to face Rey, “So it was just another one of those ancient ways - of the Sith, that is - where the apprentice surpasses the master to gain power?”

Being unfamiliar with Jedi tradition, let alone those of the Sith, Rey had no idea. Her lack of knowledge in this area only served to remind Rey of her shortcomings as a Jedi. “I don’t know ma’am,” she responded quietly, shifting in her stance. “I’m not familiar with the practices of the Sith. Or the Jedi.”

More murmurs. Rey wondered what they must think of her own admission of how she was not the Jedi they believed her to be. But despite how terrified she felt admitting her own shortcomings, all that mattered to Rey in this moment was the fact that Kylo was finally out of the First Order. Could this be the moment she was waiting for? Could she finally convince him to join the Resistance? She hoped so because she had an idea.

“General Organa?” she asked over the now buzzing room. When Leia nodded, granting her permission to continue, the room quieted down once more. “I think we should find him. With your permission, I would like to go to Kylo Ren and convince him to join us.”

For a long while, her proposal was met with dead silence. Silence that somehow felt so loud, that it made her chest tighten with anxiety. It didn’t help that Finn’s mouth fell agape in shock of what Rey suggested. Leia’s eyebrows shot straight up in surprise. Poe looked disgusted. She couldn’t blame him though. Poe had recounted, in detail, what it felt like to be interrogated by Kylo Ren. It was not an experience he was likely to forget or quick to forgive. Many of the others in attendance either mirrored Finn’s expression or just looked confused.

To further her point, Rey continued, “Look, I still think there is a chance that he could turn. He just got kicked out of the First Order. There’s nowhere for him to go and I’m sure he has a few scores to settle. But I know there’s still conflict in him. This could be our chance.”

As Leia gave Rey a questioning look, she was reminded that Leia never knew about the bond, and quite honestly, Rey didn’t want to share that with anyone, let alone Leia. She’d likely be seen as a liability that could compromise the Resistance’s position.

“At least he was when I went to him on the Supremacy,” she added quickly, hoping this small backtracking wouldn’t incite further questions.

Leia didn’t follow up, but it didn’t seem like she was entirely convinced either. Rey prayed that she wouldn’t pry later. After a few moments, Leia released a heavy sigh, “Your request is denied.”

While it wasn’t said, Rey had a hunch that Leia was still grieving over the loss of Han and bitter that her own son was the one to take his life. She could empathize with Leia if she wasn’t ready to face her son, but Rey also had deeper insights into Kylo’s thoughts. Killing his father hadn’t given him the power that he desired and, instead only deepened the cavern inside his soul between what he thought he desired and who he was. Who Ben Solo is.

Rey wasn’t ready to back down.

“But General, he could have inside information on the First Order that we could use. Not to mention his Force abilities,” she pressed.

She took a second to glance around the room hoping to see at least a few people who supported her, but instead every single face still wore an expression between shock and confusion.

Leia gave Rey a hard look, mirroring that of a parent too tired to continue arguing with their child. A moment later, Leia spoke, her voice adopting the tone of a true commander, and it expressed the finality of her decision. “My answer is still ‘no.’ Now is that understood, Jedi Rey?” It wasn’t a question so much as a command.

She cast her eyes down acknowledging her defeat. “Yes, General,” she muttered begrudgingly. How could Leia just leave him - her son - alone in the galaxy? Why didn’t anyone support her request?

“Good.” It was the last word Leia gave before moving their meeting ahead to other matters of importance, like the training program of new recruits.

When they were finally dismissed, Rey dashed out the door without so much as a goodbye to Poe, Finn, and Rose. She didn’t have anything to say and she just wanted to be left alone with her thoughts. She couldn’t just ignore the fact that Kylo Ren had left the First Order. He was truly alone now. This could be her best chance to find the man Ben Solo...or at least try. There was still light in him. She could sense it when they stood together in Snoke’s throne room, and she could sense it still.

It didn’t take long before her mind was made up. If she were honest with herself, it was decided the minute the news of Kylo Ren’s treason reached her ears. She knew what she had to do.

She picked up her pace until she reached her quarters. Once inside, Rey proceeded to fill her satchel with various necessities among a few more important items, being sure to take the Jedi texts, a few tools, and her lightsaber. It was likely that she wouldn’t be returning for a while, and she wanted these few items kept close. They were all she had of her time with Luke.

Before leaving, she paused and took one final scan of her space, ensuring that she hadn’t forgotten anything important. Having her concerns lifted, she made her way outside and proceeded down the corridor to where the Millennium Falcon lay waiting.

She was careful not to let anyone see her on the way to the Falcon. With a packed bag slung across her shoulder, it would raise anyone’s suspicions as to what she was up to: desertion being one of them, but more importantly, ignoring strict orders from leadership. If she could just get to The Falcon and silently make all the preparations necessary for the trip, it’s likely people would only realize what was happening when the engines kicked in for take off.

Checking the time, it appeared as though luck was on her side. Currently, the last meal of the day was being served in the mess hall, which meant the landing pad was quite vacant and that allowed Rey to reach The Falcon without any delay.

She immediately got to work once she reached the entrance ramp and deposited her small collection of belongings safely into the co-pilot’s chair.

After doing a few routine checks to the Falcon’s power converter and cooling system, Rey decided to look over the hyperdrive, remembering that it had likely not had a thorough examination in years. Everything seemed to be in working order, or at least usable order. Rey deemed the ship ready for takeoff.

She made her way through the small corridor that lead to the ship’s cockpit trying to shake the feeling that she had forgotten something when suddenly, she stopped dead in her tracks. Her breath caught momentarily in her throat and words escaped her as she locked eyes with the man before her.

There, filling the space in the captain’s chair, waited Finn. On his face was an expression of disappointment, concern, and confusion. Of the three, disappointment was the most prominent. After her ill-received proposal this morning, Rey was certain that he knew where she was headed.

They took each other in for a few moments, the gravity of the situation settling in before Finn broke their silence. “Rey, don’t do this,” he pleaded, his deep voice even.

Kriff. She didn’t want to have this conversation with him. Not with one of the very few people she could trust. It was clear that Finn held no faith in Kylo Ren joining their forces - she’s sure no one did. But she couldn’t give up on the idea. Not yet.

“Finn, I know what you’re thinking, but I have to-”

“You don’t have to do anything,” he said cutting her off. “Rey, he’s had several chances to do the right thing and every time he still chose the First Order. The darkside. His chances have run out.”

Growing more and more frustrated with each passing second, Rey rebutted, “You don’t know that. I saw-”

“I saw first hand what he’s capable of and what kind of person he is. I was in the First Order with him longer than you have known him. Kylo Ren is vicious and will not hesitate to remove anything or anyone that stands in his way. Some people cannot be changed, Rey, no matter how badly you want them to.”

Rey could hear the pain in his voice. She knew Finn spoke from experience. She know that he was only looking out for her. She could feel his concern, his plea. She could feel the pain of his experiences, experiences he had chosen to shield from the rest of the world. She wished that he had not come. Disappointing Finn was the last thing she wanted to do. Still, she needed to go. She needed to try for herself so that her conscious would be settled.

She had to level with him. “That may be true, but I need to try Finn.”

“Rey, what is this about?” he questioned, still in disbelief that she was actually considering finding Kylo Ren. “Why do you want to find him so badly? Nothing good can come of this.”

“It might,” she said stiffly.

“Rey, what’s this about? I noticed you took the Jedi texts,” he said motioning to the satchel filling the co-pilot’s seat. “What is it you’re not telling me?”

Rey didn’t say anything. She didn’t exactly want to tell Finn of the bond she and Kylo shared. She feared he wouldn’t understand.

Finn stood up and approached her. “Rey. You’re my best friend,” he coaxed. “We’ve seen each other through so much since you hit me over the head with your staff on Jakku.”

Rey couldn’t help by chuckle at the memory. Finn always had a knack for lightening the mood.

“Whatever it is you’re going through, you can tell me,” he insisted.

She shifted her gaze outside as she considered his words. More and more, the base was coming back to life, which meant that the evening meal was wrapping up and she was running out of time.

Maybe it was the sincerity in his voice or the reminder of what they’ve been through, but she sensed that Finn would keep her secrets. Well, here goes nothing, she thought.

“Fine,” she said, caving in, “but I’m going to make this quick. I don’t have much time.”

“Fine,” he said echoing her response. ” What’s going on?”

“I had a vision that he would turn. That he would stand with us when the time came,” she confessed as the words began to spill out of her. “It was as solid and clear as you and I talking now. I believed he would turn when I went to him on the Supremacy.” She paused to study the bewildered expression on his face. His mouth was full lips were slightly agape and his eyes only saw Rey. Truly, he was hanging on every word she spoke. “But I know now that it was too soon so I waited. Why else would I have this vision if it wouldn’t come true?” It was more a question for herself than it was for Finn. Rey was still, in part, trying to determine if visions were absolutes or if they could be changed.

Finn shifted his stance and pinched the bridge of his nose, taking a moment to compose himself. Rey could sense that he was trying to choose his words carefully. “And you believe that the time is now?”

“Yes,” she said hesitantly, though once the word had escaped her lips, the confidence of her decision solidified.

Now it was Finn’s turn to sigh. He turned to stare at the landing platform, putting a hand over his mouth as he processed what she had just revealed. With a final heave of his shoulders, he turned back to face her. “Are you sure about this?”

“Yes.” And she was.

He nodded his head accepting her affirmation.

“Then I’m coming with you.”

“No! Finn, this is something I have to do on my own,” she said, surprised at his offer.

“I’m not letting you go near that monster alone,” he countered. “Ren is too dangerous.”

“Finn, I’ll be fine,” she encouraged. “Besides, I’m a Jedi after all.” Her words felt like a lie.

Finn wasn’t entirely convinced either. “You’re still in training, Rey,” he said pointedly.

Ouch. That hurt, but he wasn’t wrong.

“Finn, you can’t come with me. This is something I have to do on my own.”

He seemed to take the hint. With one final look outside to the platform, he shook his head and threw up his hands in defeat. “Okay, fine,” he said. “But I’m giving you five days to get back here before we come looking for you, and before you object,” he said hurriedly seeing Rey beginning to refuse his terms, “it’s to make sure you do come back. I’m not going to lose you.”

“Fine.” Rey could agree with that. How could she argue with her friend who really was concerned for her safety? Noticing even more people filtering onto the platform, she knew her opportunity was nearly gone. “I have to get going.”

Finn looked back over his shoulder and nodded in agreement. “I know,” he said softly, taking a few steps forward while reaching into his coat pocket. Then, he reached for her hand and gently placed a small device into her palm. It was the same tracker Rey was given when she went to train with Luke.

“Just take this with you,” he said as his large hands encouraged her fingers to fold over the device.

“Thank you, Finn.”

“Just come back to us,” he said pulling her into one of his great hugs. She couldn’t help but smile. Finn was a good man and an even better friend.

“I will,” she promised, and she meant it.

He gave one final squeeze for good measure before letting go and slowly made his way out of the Falcon. Before he left for good, he turned around and gave Rey a hard look, “Rey, be careful. Watch yourself.”

“I will.”

He nodded, and without a word he left.

As soon as Finn moved a safe distance away, Rey began charging the engines. They roared to life as if begging to make the jump to lightspeed. When they were finally ready, she left Kashyyyk, taking off as fast as she could until finally reaching the black, vastness of space.

Now the hard part came. She didn’t know the first place to look for Kylo. No information of his whereabouts was shared in their meeting early today. She had nothing to go on.

She pulled up the holopad and scrolled the newscasts praying that at least one person had spotted him. Nothing.

Well, this is off to a great start, she thought, becoming more discouraged with each passing minute.

Okay, if I were Kylo Ren, where would I go? She knew that she was grasping at thin air. Rey really had no idea and the minutes continued to tick by with every quess she tried to make.

She was wasting valuable time.

“Your presence in the Force is strong. Others like us could find you given enough time to meditate,” a distant memory echoed.

“The Force!” Rey said out loud. That’s right! If Kylo could find her through the Force, like he did on Kashyyyk, maybe she could do the same. Why didn’t she think of this sooner?

She immediately shut her eyes and exhaled the air from her lungs, making sure the inhale was slower like Luke had instructed. She let go of any thoughts swirling in her mind, letting her mind go blank.

While it took some time (it was more difficult without the plant life on Ahch-To), she eventually found a connection to the Force. Letting it flow through her, she enjoyed the oddly familiar sensation it brought, until she was finally ready to begin looking for his presence.

If what Kylo had said about her Force signature appearing as a bright light was true, maybe his was also. After all, Kylo Ren was the only strong Force-user in the galaxy that she knew of. Concentrating as hard as she could, Rey projected her conscience out and began looking for his light.

“Please let me see him,” she whispered almost inaudibly, like a prayer leaving her lips. “Let me find him.”

She waited a few moments hoping something would happen. Then, slowly, a light started to grow. She began to focus all of her mental energy on that one small speck of light and within a few moments, her mind’s eye was filled with light before a flash of a craggy island surrounded by a restless sea flooded her vision. She could feel the wind rip across her face and the smell of the salt in the waves. And just as quickly as it had come, the island vanished.

“Ahch-to,” she breathed opening her eyes, once again, to meet the dark expanse of space. “He’s on Ahch-to!”

It worked! She chuckled to herself in disbelief. She found him. She had called upon the Force and she found him. Maybe she could do this. Maybe she was cut out to be a Jedi after all.

Pushing all thoughts aside, Rey wasted no time and punched in the coordinates. the Falcon responded immediately and with another flash of light, Rey made the jump to lightspeed.

Chapter 1 | Chapter 2 | Chapter 3 | Chapter 4 | Chapter 5 | Chapter 6 | Chapter 7 | Chapter 8 | Chapter 9 | Chapter 10 | Chapter 11 | Chapter 12 | Chapter 14

[supervalor]

All The Stars - Chapter Two

Title: All The Stars

Pairings: Karamel, eventual AgentReign, Guardiancorp.

Chapter: 2/?

Previous: 1, 

Next: 3, 4

Chapter under the cut.

Chapter Two

After a long talk with Lena and a quick chat with James, Kara had been offered her job back at Catco. She’d returned to her apartment relieved that her job was still hers but anxious at how she was supposed to balance being a reporter, a superhero and in time, a mom. She remembered Alex’s reassurance that she wasn’t alone and she had people that would help her which made the anxiety dim a little.

On her way back to the apartment, Alex had rung and informed her that the group was going to the bar that night to celebrate her engagement and she was welcomed to join them if she was up for it. Kara’s first instinct was to avoid but she didn’t want to disappoint her sister. Before making a decision one way or another, the blonde decided that it was time to confront her ghosts, mainly Mon-El.

That was how she found herself sitting on her sofa with a roll of pictures taken of her and Mon-El in the booth at the bar months ago. Her eyes locked onto her past self and felt envious of the sheer happiness and love that shone through her blue eyes. Kara remembered how she had felt then with Mon-El’s arms around her. It had been the careless kind of happiness that she had always seen but never experienced for herself until Mon-El. Her heart hurt as she looked at the loved up expression on his face and her thumb stroked over his picture as if her touch could make him suddenly appear for real.

“You would have been such a good father”, Kara told the picture softly as though he could hear her. She began picturing Mon-El running after a little boy who looked just like him and felt a pang of longing for what could have been if she hadn’t chosen to put the rest of the world before her own happiness…and Mon-El’s safety. “Why couldn’t things be different?” she questioned as her eyes shone with tears.

As she stared at the photograph, Kara realised that she had two options. Either she could stay there and cry over Mon-El forever or she could join the others at the bar and begin living again. Sitting around and moping over what she couldn’t change was not going to help her situation, nor would it make a good life for her baby and the others, they were still here and waiting for her. Mon-El, as much as she missed him, wasn’t and she couldn’t do this alone.

With a sad, wistful smile, Kara put the photograph away in the box of things that she had pulled out to remember him by. She quickly changed out of her comfortable clothes into something more suitable for the bar before flying over. When she walked into the bar, her eyes roamed the room until she spotted her friends and Alex sitting at a large table near the back. Taking a deep breath, Kara walked over to them and immediately her sister pulled her into a hug upon seeing her.

“I’m so glad that you came”, she whispered into her ear before pulling away and allowing the others to greet her with grins and cheers. As the group descended into conversation, Kara felt lighter than she had in a long time. Maybe she would never be like Clark or the others who would never be able to make the kind of sacrifices she had made but she was still Kara Danvers and she still had her family. She wasn’t going to spend any more time distancing herself because it hurt less.

“Hi Clark, I’m glad you picked up”.

The next morning found Kara sitting alone at her kitchen table with her cell phone held against her ear. She had already phoned Eliza the night before when she got home from the bar and told her about the baby. Now she wanted to ring her cousin and fill him in as she didn’t want him to be the completely last person to know.

“Kara, hey, how are you doing?” Clark’s voice was full of concern for her. Alex had been keeping him to up to date on how she was handling things and she knew her sister must have told him how she’d been behaving recently. “I saw what you did yesterday. Great job getting rid of that nuke”.

Kara’s stomach swirled as she felt what she now knew to be morning sickness flare up. She had already puked up three times already. Now she’d just eaten some cereal for her breakfast and she wanted to throw it back up again. Morning sickness sucked. “Thanks cous. I’m actually calling you because there’s something that I need to tell you. And it’s big, like really big”.

“What’s going on?” She pictured Clark’s frown as he tried to make his best guesses as to what was up with her. She knew none of them would probably be even remotely close.

“I found something out yesterday. I don’t know if you saw me faint after I got rid of the nuke but-“

“You fainted?!” Kara could clearly hear the alarm in his voice.

“Yeah. Well at least the news didn’t get to capture that, thank goodness. Anyway J’onn took me back to the DEO and they ran some tests and well…well it turns out that I’m pregnant”.

There was silence from the end of line as her cousin digested her news. “Is it Mon-El’s?” he asked finally.  Kara rolled her eyes so hard that they almost got stuck in her skull.

“Well considering there’s been no one else…yes”.

“Do you want me to come down? I can go pack some things and come stay with you for a while”.

“I’m fine. You should stay with Lois and keep guard over Metropolis. They need you more than I do. Alex will keep watch over me, don’t worry”.

“You better call me if you need anything or if you change your mind”, Clark ordered in his Superman voice, making her smirk slightly.

“I’ll call. Give Lois my love”.

After hanging up, Kara ran to the toilet and threw up the contents of her breakfast, resigning herself to the fact that she probably wasn’t going to be able to eat much outside of crackers and dry biscuits for her breakfast for the foreseeable future.

After finally managing to get something down her that wouldn’t – hopefully – come back up, Kara dressed for the day in a smart blouse and trousers, something that she probably wouldn’t be able to keep wearing for much longer. Pushing the thought out her mind, she put her blonde hair up into a professional bun before lifting her bed up to pull out a pair of comfortable shoes. As she did, Kara’s eyes landed on a copy of Romeo and Juliet that she didn’t remember buying.

Frowning, she put the shoes to one side and picked up the copy of Romeo and Juliet to flick through it. Her heart stopped when she looked at the notes written across the margins and recognised the familiar handwriting as Mon-El’s.  He’d annotated and written notes across most of the pages but her eyes stopped when they saw her name written in capital letters with a circle around one of the lines: the brightness of her cheek would shame those stars.

Kara took a deep breath and forced herself to close the book. She didn’t have time to lose herself in memories and pushed the book back under her bed where she had found it. Sliding on her shoes, she walked out of the apartment and locked the door, determined to put all her energy into work and Supergirl.

On her way to work, Kara quickly stopped off to buy Lena a ‘welcome to Catco’ gift in the form of a smart, black leather organiser. She owed her friend that much after she had distanced herself so much from her and everybody over the last month or so. When she arrived in the office, she spotted James already in the editor’s office frowning at Lena. “Lena!” she called her new boss’s name and interrupted whatever conversation the two had been in the middle of. “Welcome to Catco!” she handed her the organiser with a warm smile.

A dimple creasing smile broke out on the pretty CEO’s face. “You didn’t have to do that”.

“It’s a Danvers family tradition. First day of school you get a planner”, Kara gestured to the organiser.

“Well it’s lovely. In the Luthor house on the first day we would hire a private investigator to make sure our teacher’s credentials were up to date”.

Both Kara and James forced out an awkward laugh at that little snippet of Lena’s childhood.

The tall man shot a small frown in her direction as he turned to her. “So Kara you knew that Ms Luthor would be here today?”

“Yes, she texted me this morning”.

James glanced at both women in surprise. Clearly he hadn’t received a text, Kara noticed and wondered why he seemed to have a problem with Lena’s presence.

Lena shot him an apologetic look. “I should have communicated more clearly, Mr Olsen. I’m sorry it won’t happen again”.

After James and Lena began a discussion on where she would work – somehow Kara didn’t think it was the lack of office space that was her friend’s real issue here – her phone began to beep, catching her attention. She wondered if it was the DEO and immediately turned to look at just as Lena began to speak to her.

“Kara, do you think you could get me the dossier on the Edge investigation, please?”

“Err, there’s actually something I have to deal with. Can I get it for you later, is that okay?”

Lena seemed taken aback by the question but said “sure, sure, yeah”.

“Sorry”, she apologised as she began to scurry out of the office, leaving the two alone once again. Kara quickly went home and changed into her Supergirl outfit before flying off to the DEO where everyone was already gathered, including Maggie. “What was the general alert for?” Kara questioned as she strode towards the main control panel.

Winn frowned at her sudden appearance. “Wait you get the general alerts? That just for the analysts I think”.

“I had them add me to the distro list”. Alex glared at her sister pointedly. “I want to know what’s going on with the city at all times”.

“Detective Sawyer brought this in this morning, Mr Schott?” J’onn turned to Winn.

“Yeah, well, we analysts thought we might be able to see something the cops didn’t”.

“She hit two banks back-to-back”, Maggie informed Kara.

“Where are the guards?”

“Unconscious on the floor”, Alex answered as they watched the screen with the CCTV footage playing from the bank robbery.

“Any leads on how she took them out?”

“Oh we thought it might be gas”, Winn started before Maggie finished his sentence.

“But toxicity came back negative”.

J’onn added, “According to reports, she walked right in the front door. No weapons of any kind. Everyone just cleared out of her way and let her take whatever she wanted”.

Suddenly Winn stood up and moved to the computers. “Woah, we’ve got a silent alarm tripped at 25 and Cedar”.

Kara glared at the footage that played out on the screen. “Looks like that’s our new friend”. She took off at full super speed without bothering to wait for back up since the woman looked mostly harmless and anything she could do, probably wouldn’t affect Kara since she wasn’t human.

As soon as she arrived in the bank vault, Kara knew that the blonde woman had sensed her. “I’ve got you cornered”, she warned in case the blonde thought to try anything.

“Do you?” she retorted coldly and continued to slip money into her bag.

Kara frowned at the woman’s self-assurance and stepped forward. “What did you do to them up there?” she wondered what the woman could do that made her feel like she stood a chance against Supergirl.

The woman turned to look at her with an affronted look. “I only wanted to play but they didn’t want to play with me”.

“Well you’re not getting away with it”.

“Oh”, the woman smiled condescendingly as though Kara was just a silly little girl. “You think you’re the cat and I’m the bird”. Kara watched with disbelief as the woman zipped up the bag full of money. “You got it backwards. You could join me. Maybe then you’d be happy”.

Kara did not like the knowing look on the woman’s face. Her stomach stirred with nausea but she fought to keep it from showing on her face.

“You see money equals happiness”, the blonde continued, thankfully oblivious to Kara’s sudden desire to throw up. She wanted to curse at herself for the crappy timing of her pregnancy symptom. “More money, more happiness”.

“Your priorities are seriously out of whack”, Kara returned, ignoring the voice in her head that whispered ‘hypocrite’.

“Huh, I know right?” The meta-human snorted out a laugh.

Kara didn’t really see what was so funny. “Put the bag down”, she ordered, wiping the smile from the woman’s face. She sighed before staring at Kara with a look of hard concentration.

As she stepped forwards and continued glaring at her, Kara suddenly felt like her entire world had been knocked sideways. She almost fell back as she suddenly found her surroundings morph and change until she was in a lab with a tray of medical equipment placed out in front of her. Kara suddenly found it hard to breathe as she stepped backwards into the bank lockers and the scene began to change again so that she was now floating in space. She saw the sun slowly edging towards her in her peripheral vision and felt her head began to drip with sweat that she normally didn’t produce. She felt struck with terror and her hands fell to her stomach protectively.

Kara was stuck in that state until she suddenly came out of it gasping as she slid to the floor as Maggie stormed in, dressed in her police uniform and ran towards her with a worried look on her face.

“It’s okay, it’s okay”, she cooed to Kara as she struggled to catch her breath, suffering what most people would call an anxiety attack. When she had calmed down, she shakily allowed Maggie to escort her back to the DEO where her sister almost immediately dragged her off to the med bay for a check-up. For once in her life, Kara didn’t complain or protest which was another sign to Alex that her sister wasn’t okay.

Kara sat on a bed as Alex got a scanner and began to run it over her sister’s body. She would have to do an ultrasound to make sure that her baby was one hundred percent okay but a scan would suffice for now. “You’re vitals are coming up normal”, Winn told them as he looked at the results on his tablet.

“What about the baby? Is the baby okay?” That was all Kara cared about. She felt fine but what did she know about being pregnant?

“From what I can tell everything looks fine but you’ll have to let Alex give you another ultrasound later”, Winn assured and patted her lightly on the shoulder.

“None of the human victims remember what happened in there. Do you?” Maggie questioned her.

“I don’t know. I felt like the walls of the vault were closing in on me”, and she had felt terrified, more than she had ever felt in her life but she kept that thought to herself. “It was like I was suffocating”.

Alex looked at her with concern. “Sounds like she made you feel claustrophobic”.

“Claustrophobia is a human problem”, Kara retorted dismissively.

“You used to have episodes like that all the time when you first came to Earth”.

Kara wouldn’t hear of it. She wasn’t weak, she could defend herself and her unborn child. She was stronger than a human or the fragile child that had first landed on a strange planet. “That was a long time ago. We need to figure out who she is and how we track”. She almost walked right into J’onn after getting off the bed, heading towards the door. He blocked her way.

“Well at the moment you’re our best clue”.

J’onn’s eyes flashed red as he stared at Kara.

“What are you doing?” Alex asked as she recalled that J’onn wasn’t supposed to be capable of reading a Kryptonian mind.

Winn voiced the same thought out loud. “Wait, I thought you couldn’t read Kryptonian minds?”

“I can’t but I can scan her mind for residual psychic activity”.

“Just remind me to get you a world’s best boss mug”, the tech guy quipped.

“She’s definitely a psychic but she’s not like me. There are traces of a particular type of psionic interference in your mind, the type only used by metahumans”.

“Okay well I’ll start combing through the metahuman database”, Winn volunteered and left the room.

“In the meantime I’ll start monitoring potential targets for unusual activity”, J’onn said as Kara turned her back on the room and began walking out.

She stopped and leant against the doorway. “If we locate her, I’ll take her down”.

Alex stared at her incredulously “It’s not safe”. She looked pointedly at Kara’s belly but the blonde ignored the look. She knew what she was getting into and the baby was perfectly okay after the blonde’s attack. There was no way she was staying out of it.

“She caught me off guard last time.  It’s not going to happen again”, Kara stated firmly before walking away before anyone could try to argue with her further.

After leaving the DEO, Kara went home to quickly change back into her work clothes before flying back to Catco. As she stepped out of the elevator, she ran into James and surprised him with that she was running late for a meeting that Lena had called and he had known nothing about. It was after he had admitted that Lena hadn’t told him about this meeting that the woman in question showed up.

“Kara, there you are”, she greeted with a large smile as the dark blonde reporter immediately began to whistle off apologies, realising that she had missed the meeting.

James shot Lena an accusing look. “Was it a good meeting, was it good?”

The woman smiled innocently. “Yeah I was just going around to all the departments giving them a little pep talk”, she then turned to Kara. “I really missed you there”.

Right at that second Kara’s phone began to go off. “Shoot!” she scrambled to grab it out of her bag. “I have to take this”, she walked away with the phone pressed to her ear, oblivious to the look that Lena was giving her. As she got into the elevator she listened as Winn filled her in on the psychic’s location. Kara quickly changed into her Supergirl gear before flying off to the basement parking lot where she found her with a bag in hand. As soon as the woman spotted her, she dropped the bag.

While she confronted the metahuman, J’onn tried to read her mind but ended up on the other end of the mental assault and leaving Kara vulnerable to her attacks. Immediately Kara found herself on the ground with visions of her mother sending her away from Krypton filling her vision as she trembled against the concrete floor.

Just as she found herself staring out of her pod, once again heading towards the sun, Alex’s voice pulled her out of it. “Supergirl!” she rolled over and awoke with a gasp, her hands on her chest as it raced faster than the Flash.

Realising that the criminal had vanished while she was incapacitated, she forced herself back to the DEO where Alex had threatened her with more scans and an actual ultrasound this time.

“I’m sorry I couldn’t hold her off”, J’onn said to her as he joined her at the main control table with Alex on her other side. “She’s more powerful than any psychic I’ve ever encountered”.

“What happened this time?” Alex wanted to know. This woman had to be powerful if she had gotten the best of Kara for a second time and Alex didn’t like the thought of that one bit.

“It was the same as before”, she lied as her sister stared at her as though she could see right through her. She probably could. She always did seem to know when Kara was lying to her or to herself.

“I’ve got our girl!” Kara had never been so grateful for Winn than in that moment when he interrupted with his trusty tablet in hand. "Gayle Marsh, law abiding citizen of Skokie, Illinois until one day she snapped and went on a bank robbing spree”.

J’onn moved close to the screen as Winn used the tablet to load the information on Gayle so that everyone could see it. “Uh let’s see…the authorities nicknamed her “Psi” after a string of psychologically-enhanced robberies which ravaged a series of small town banks throughout the midwest a couple of months ago”.

After Winn offered to adapt their psychic dampening technology as a tool to stop Gayle and Alex decided to check if there were any more witness reports at the precinct, Kara dragged Winn to one of the empty training rooms to talk. “This is very covert ops”, he commented as she shut the door so that they would have complete privacy. “What’s up?”

“I know how she’s doing it”, Kara blurted out. “I felt her this time, she’s targeting people’s fear”.

Her friend looked at her confused. “How…how do you know that?”

Kara glanced down for a moment before she confessed to Winn what she hadn’t even told Alex. “I saw my mother. I saw…Krypton…explode”, her voice broke as she relived the memories. “I relived my last moments there. And then being stuck floating through space for so long knowing I could never have my life back. Psi put me back in that pod… completely trapped and alone, it was so quiet. Silence was the worst part. I felt completely cut off from everyone and everything I’ve ever known”.

There was a moment of quiet as though Kara had just begun to realise that she was spilling her heart to her best friend. “We have to stop her, Winn”, she said in a voice much different to the one she had been using as she spoke of her memories.

Winn looked at her with a devastated look over her re-lived trauma. “You should tell J’onn and Alex”, he spoke in a soft voice.

She immediately shook her head. “No, they can’t know, they’ll just worry. You have to be the one to solve this, it’s why I’m telling you. You’re already altering the psychic dampeners right? This will help”.

“Well yeah”, he agreed. “Knowing that it targets fear centres, sure”.

“Good”. Then her cell phone began to ring and interrupted anything more Winn might want to say. “Sorry, hang on. It’s Lena, I’ve gotta go”.

“Hey”, Winn reached out and touched her shoulder. “I’m…I’m sorry that this is happening”, he looked at her with compassion, knowing he wouldn’t like to be reliving his own traumatic memories all over again in great detail. “If…I-“

“I’ll be fine”, she insisted before swooping away to change into her civilian clothes.

Her next meeting with Lena did not end so well. After she kept brushing off Lena and her duties to Catco, her boss finally called her out on it, on her distracted behaviour work wise and reminded her that didn’t spend seven hundred and fifty million dollars on a company as a favour to a friend or planned to be an absentee landlord. She had an active investment in Catco and she wanted to get everything she could out of it as possible.

Feeling put in her place and ashamed for her behaviour, especially since it wasn’t as if Lena knew she was Supergirl, she promised to get in touch with her contact at the bank. Speaking of which, just as she was getting into the elevator, she got a call from Alex informing her that Psi had hit another bank. “I’m on my way”, she replied and ripped open her shirt.

As the doors shut, Kara felt herself begin to have a panic attack. The walls of the elevator began to close in on her and she felt her chest begin to tighten. It was getting harder and harder to breath. She tried to take a deep breath but it didn’t work. Finally, out of desperation, she ended up ripping out of her clothes and flying directly through the ceiling, hoping that she’d be able to find a good way to explain that later.

“Supergirl?” Alex’s voice came through the comm as she levitated above the clouds.

“I’m okay”, she huffed out, inhaling as much of the fresh air as she possibly could. “I’m headed there now”.

“She got away”, her sister told her and Kara could have screamed.

“There is absolutely nothing wrong with you. No sign of any psychic intrusion”, Winn informed her after she came into the DEO to be checked over. She had been positive that Psi had somehow got into her head while she was in the elevator and used her distraction to escape. However when she got there and had the tech guy look over her, he had found absolutely nothing wrong with her.

She scowled in surprise. “What?!” There had to have been something wrong. Supergirl didn’t just randomly have panic attacks.

“I think you just had a good old fashioned panic attack”.

“That’s not possible”, she refuted. “No, I’m stronger than that”.

“Look she got into your head, okay? You know she’s forcing you to live through some serious trauma. It’s going to take a toll on anyone, I don’t care if you’re the strongest person in the world”.

Alex came in the room and the conversation died as Kara quickly made an excuse to leave. She went back to her apartment, desperate for some time alone to think or even meditate to some of her planets old prayers. She changed into some comfortable clothes and was sitting in front of her coffee table reciting a mantra to Rao in Kryptonian. That was how Alex found her when she walked into the apartment.

“What are you doing?”

“It’s Kryptonian meditation. We say an ancient mantra to help strengthen the mind”.

It didn’t take long before Alex confessed that she’d made Winn tell her about their conversation. Including about what Kara had been going through. “I didn’t want you to worry”, she said when Alex demanded to know why she hadn’t told her.

“You fight the most dangerous creatures and people in the world. I’m always going to worry”, she pointed out logically.

“I don’t know how to fight this one”, Kara confessed, something she hadn’t wanted to admit to anyone including herself out of fear of appearing weak. “And I should be able to stop her but then she makes her way into my mind…its torture. I don’t know how to deal with that”.

To her relief, Alex didn’t look at her as though she was weak, just with sympathy and concern. “By remembering that your fears don’t define you” the older Danvers told her softly. “You know who you are as Supergirl, who you are as Kara, that’s what defines you.  And she’s got nothing on that”.

“No, who I am as Kara feels broken”, Kara thought of her baby, the precious life she had made with Mon-El that he would never know about, about how she’d been forced to send Mon-El off into the unknown forever and never know what happened to him. About having to always put her duty as Supergirl and the protector of Earth before anything else. She didn’t even want to think about a day where she might have to make a choice between the Earth and her child.

“I lost Mon-El. I’m having his baby that he’ll never know about, Lena keeps asking me where I’m going which is new and horrible. Alex, I’m trying to be myself again” and she was but with everything that had changed, it was hard to remember just who that was. The Kara she remembered had been happy, she’d adored being Supergirl and she loved her job as a reporter, viewed it as equally important to her duty as Supergirl, never needed to lie to Lena or flake on her, hadn’t needed to make a heartbreaking and impossible choice. “But everything that used to make me feel good, like, like a relief is…it’s disappeared”.

Alex had sat quietly, listening to her and not interrupting once. “It’s not always gonna to feel like that. I promise”.

“My life as Supergirl is the one thing I can count on”, not even this baby she was having- that still hadn’t really sunk in was a thing yet, felt like a tangible thing that would last. Kara felt like it was almost inevitable that she would have to face losing that too. “I can go out there and help people. I can make a difference in the world. I can feel strong even though a huge part of me feels so weak and she’s taking that away from me. And if I don’t have Supergirl, what do I have?”

“You got me”, Alex reminded her. “And that kid of yours eventually”.

Kara smiled sadly. “I know that, silly”.

The two sisters chuckled lightly before Alex shuffled forwards and the two hugged. For the first time in a while, in that moment, Kara didn’t feel like she was so alone.

Kara had just made herself and Alex two cups of fresh lemonade when the call went out that Psi was out causing havoc in a busy area that had a construction site nearby to boot. Alex set off to get geared up with the other DEO Agents while Kara changed into her costume and flew off to the DEO to check in with Winn. She then headed to the location that Gayle had been spotted at. She arrived just in time to stop a bulldozer from falling onto a mother and her daughter, quickly carrying it away from them. She put it gently down onto the ground before storming off to find Psi.

It didn’t take long. She saw her casually strolling down the street with her bags of cash and Kara didn’t spare a moment before turning on psionic inhibitor that Winn had given to her beforehand. However when Psi saw Kara and sent a psychic attack her way, the Kryptonian immediately stumbled back.

“Ladybird, ladybird fly away home”, Psi taunted as she approached Supergirl, who immediately turned the inhibitor back on. “Your house is on fire and your children, they will burn”.

Kara resisted the urge to touch her stomach protectively. She had to concentrate on her enemy and she couldn’t expose her vulnerability. Before she could do anything against Psi, the woman attacked her again but with a more powerful blast that sent her flying through the air and past several buildings, knocking the bricks of some of them as she hit them along the way. Kara fell onto some stone steps outside of one building and immediately began gasping as a fresh panic attack began to build, visions beginning to cloud her mind.

As Kara began to come out of the psychic induced visions, a wave of devastation hit her entire body as her blue eyes glazed with tears. “He’s dead”.

Alex was quick to find her and ran to her side. “Kara, hey it’s me. It’s okay, you’re okay”, she grabbed her arm and tried to get her sister to look at her but she was lost in her grief.

“I killed him”, her mouth trembled and her body shook as she realised what the visions actually meant. They weren’t memories. They were her worst fear. It wasn’t her in the pod floating in space…it was Mon-El. “It’s him in the pod, not me”.

Realisation lit up Alex’s face as she cottoned on to what Kara was talking about. “Mon-El?”

“I killed him!” tears dripped down her cheeks as the words came out. “I killed him, it was me”, she sniffed as the tears continued to fall. “He’s dead. He’s dead”, she gasped through broken cries. “I know he’s dead, I know it! If he were alive we would have heard from him. We would have gotten a message. He died in the pod. I put him in there and he died! He’ll never know our baby because of me!”

Alex’s heart broke for her sister. There was no way she could keep watching her sister go on like this. “Kara, he’s not dead!” Alex hoped that she was right since she had no way of knowing for sure but she had to believe that there was hope.

“I killed him, I killed him, I killed him!”

“He is not dead!” she repeated more firmly over Kara’s wails. “He is alive! Okay? I know it! I don’t know where, I don’t know how, I just know he’s alive. You saved him. Just like your mom saved you when she put you in that pod. She knew you were gonna be okay, she knew you were gonna live. Mon-El is alive because of you”.

Thankfully Kara seemed to be listening as her tears had slowly begun to reside as her eyes met Alex’s own brown ones that were filled with her belief and sincerity. “I saved him?”

Alex nodded with a smile. “Yeah”.

Somehow, after that conversation, Kara managed to find the strength to get back up and face off with Psi one final time. This time Kara won, she had faced her fear, confronted it and now Psi had no control over her. When it was all over, Kara immediately flew home and fell to sleep for a few hours, completely exhausted from the fight and everything she’d been through the past day or so.

Later that evening, Kara got dressed and actually managed to complete her work for Lena and Catco. She headed over to the office and was grateful that Lena was still there. She sheepishly walked over as Lena looked up from the desk she was standing in front of it.  “So I got in touch with your contact at the bank and he’ll be a great source on edge”.

“I’m glad it was valuable”, Lena answered coolly, her face completely neutral.

Kara folded her arms awkwardly as she thought of what to say to her friend and boss. She picked up a Rubik's cube and started fiddling with it. “Err…I think I need to apologise for my behaviour earlier”.

The other woman stared at her, saying nothing.

“You were right. I have a lot more baggage about Mon-El than I previously thought. It’s not knowing what happened to him that’s the hardest”.

Almost at once, Lena’s icy façade broke. “I know it can’t be easy”.

“You were just trying to be a good friend to me and I bit your head off”.

“This is new for me too”, Lena said softly.

“Working with friends?”

The dark haired woman smiled at her. “No having friends”. Both women chuckled. “Luthors don’t have friends, we have minions. And also I think there’s gonna be a learning curve for both jobs”.

“No, Lena. You were a really good friend and a great boss. Honestly”.

“Thank you” Lena took a look around the office before smiling slyly at Kara. “I’d really like to give you a hug but I’m afraid I’d show favouritism”.

“Err, screw that, come here, bring it in,” Kara ordered and the two of them immediately embraced. They pulled away as the elevator dinged.

“Oh wait, there’s actually someone I really want you to meet”, Lena waved over a pretty brunette woman that stepped out of the elevator dressed in a sharp black suit. Kara recognised her as the mother that she’d rescued with the kid from the bulldozer earlier that day. “I’m so glad you could make it!”

“Thank you so much for being so understanding”, the woman said to Lena who waved off her thanks.

“Oh god please no, I’m no stranger to family drama.” She then turned to the reporter. “Oh erm, Kara, this is Samantha Arias. She’s going to be taking over for me at L-Corp”.

Kara glanced over at her with surprise. “That’s great! It’s lovely to meet you Miss Arias”.

“Please it’s just Sam”, Sam told her as they shook hands.

“Okay!”

After leaving Catco, Kara went over to the DEO to have a quick ultrasound with Alex to double check that Psi hadn’t actually managed to damage the baby. A quick check confirmed that the little Daxtonian was in good health, probably taking after both parents with the superhuman abilities including healing and strength. “Great, that’s going to hurt when it starts kicking”, Kara complained as Alex turned off the machine.

��Well at least you have super healing”, her sister smirked.

“There is that”, Kara smiled. “Hey Alex?”

“Yeah?”

“You were great today…with me, when I was having that break down. You’ll be an amazing mother someday whenever you and Maggie decide to have them”.

For some reason, Kara’s comment wiped the smile from Alex’s face. She sat up as soon as she registered that something was up with her sister. “Hey, is something wrong?”

“No, no, it’s nothing. It’s fine. I’ m just tired. You should probably get home and get some rest since I’m sure you must be worn out from all of today’s excitement, plus you’re pregnant”.

“If you ever need to talk, I’m here alright? You made me talk and don’t think that this is a one way street alright?”

“Get out of here”, Alex smiled, playfully pushing Kara out the door. As she flew home, the blonde couldn’t help but worry that Alex was keeping something from her. She just hoped that she would confide in her when she was ready.

[ba-hons-film-blog]

Film Narrative 2 - Fiction Project Critical Reflection:

Initial Idea, Story and Script:

The initial idea came from Euan, who had the broad idea of a door-to-door salesman trying to sell something. We then expanded the idea to have it follow a desperate, morally dubious salesman, who grows increasingly desperate in his efforts to sell his products to a vulnerable old woman. We liked the dubious morality of the idea, and the inner conflict this would give the (unnamed) Salesman. We also thought the two characters, who both had clear but conflicting objectives (the Salesman needs to secure a deal to provide for his family) and the elderly woman, Mrs Beale (who simply wants some company, and isn't interested in the Salesman’s pitch) would help to give the film some good narrative thrust, as Mrs Beale casually dismisses the Salesman’s pitches, and the Salesman then has to try a new, more dubious tactic to secure his sale.

I feel my main contributions were towards coming up with various story beats and character developments for the idea, and making some dialogue revisions to Euan’s second draft of the script. This is due to my interest in storytelling, and script writing. I personally feel like I made a good deal of suggestions for the plot which made it into the final script and feel my dialogue suggestions, while somewhat hurried and not overly polished, helped to expand certain beats where I felt the script rushed past a moment that could be used to create more tension or character. Overall, I feel happy with the final draft of the script, although I feel it was left slightly late, and would have liked to have had time to submit/review a few more drafts done by either Euan, myself or another member of the group, so as to fine tune each and every aspect of the script.

Pre Production Documents:

(For all pre production documents, go to this link: https://drive.google.com/drive/folders/15hR7u8XKGlIGuBE3ye0p2FvMvKXCiAJS)

While I did have some ideas for the films style (suggesting ideas like the tv show White Gold) and some ideas for certain shots which I shared with the group(like the opening shot were we see the Salesman who the neighbouring door slammed in his face), I feel I was more engaged with the story and script side of the project than I was with the production side. While that is more what I am interested in, I feel in the next project, I want to get more stuck into the pre production aspects, even if just for some variety and experience. I did do the logline and script synopsis, but that wasn't too far removed from my work with regards to the story and the script.

I think the group did a great job with their production documents, creating a clear sense of the film's style and cinematography. The only issue was sometimes a lack of communication between each person meant certain documents did not 100 percent lineup with each other (like the shot list and the storyboards feature differing shots) but overall, the documents weren’t too inconsistent with each other.

Editing:

I think the picture edit went well. This was my third time using avid (I had previously used it to edit a different scene from “Lethe” and a film of my own) so my this point I had more of an understanding of how to use the software. I tried to create a slow paced edit that generally stayed on the character of Eve as much as possible, as the story is told from her point of view. I feel I could have done a better job with regards to keeping the group up to date as my edit developed and getting their feedback, but I did get some good advice about my second edit from Zoe and group 4 in one tutorial that I took into consideration when working on my third edit.

I also attempted a sound edit using a free trial of Avid Ultimate, which was a good learning experience although ultimately I didn't feel too happy with my finished product. While I managed to raise the levels of the appropriate sounds, and avoided any jarring audio rises or any unnatural silences, I don't think I chose the best background sounds (I used the corridor and general hospital sounds for the whole video, as opposed to just using them at the end. This made the scene feel a bit too busy and overwhelming, and hearing some ambient room noise and beeping sounds throughout instead likely would have been a better choice). Ultimately, I felt the scene worked better before I added these sound effects. My edit didn't manage to export in time as well. We ultimately went with Rosie’s edit, although I still hope to rework mine at a later date.

Crit Feedback:

The logline and synopsis were praised for being intriguing (with regards to the logline), effectively summing up the events of the film (with regards to the synopsis) and overall being well written and well formatted. One shortcoming (or something that group 4 was complimented for having that we didn't have) was not making reference to the movie's style and genre. Additionally, while not necessary, a document describing the key characteristics of the main characters would have been a nice addition.

The rest of the pre production documents were well received. The storyboards by Cal were well drawn and gave a clear idea what the films cinematography would look like (although could have done with some text beneath each image), the costume/prop/set documents by Rosie gave a clear idea of the films style (as did the moodboard, although we were told some comments on each of the images would have helped) and the shotlist by Robbie was well formatted, and clear and concise with regards to what each shot would feature (despite some confusion over some of the abbreviations and the fact the storyboards and the shotlist did not completely line up).

Script Feedback:

(to follow. Apparently, Euan has not received this from Paul, which I will ask about and add once we have gotten the feedback)

Edit Feedback:

Here is the feedback Kieran gave me for my edit, along with my thoughts about it and how I would go about it differently in the future:

“Good professional practice with leader.”

“Atmospheric start, but the out of focus POV shot lasts too long.” - The reason this lasts for so long is to allow the character of Abe to slowly come into focus, to show how Eve is slowly waking up. However, I could definitely start the clip a few more seconds in and maybe cut of a second at the end, or just have a few seconds of a blurry Abe without a change in focus, although that might not be as effective.

“At 01:00:31:00 the scratching of the head doesn’t communicate tension and feels awkward.” - While I initially choose this part of the clip because I thought it would be interesting to have Kane doing something other than silently brooding, thinking about it again, I would agree with this, and would solve it by choosing a different part of the clip where Kane is simply standing still and looking ahead.

“It’s a good 40 seconds before anything really happens, which is too slow.” - I would agree with this - perhaps 20 seconds of build up could have been a good balance?

“Good reveal of the space at 01:00:47:04, using him turning around.” - Previously, this shot had been criticized for being too brief and seeming a bit random compared to the closer up shots used elsewhere. Despite this, I had kept it, as I felt it properly established the geography of the room and showed all the characters in relation to each other, so it was nice to hear Kieran liked this.

“The look at 01:00:59:00 is too short, allow the look to settle for a few frames before cutting to what someone is looking at to make it less jarring.” - I would agree with this. I'm not sure why I cut this so early, maybe the actor only looked over for a second and I worked with what I had, but I imagine more likely than not this was just an oversight.

“This whole section up to 01:02:13:00 is very good, but missing a reaction from him to her asking for the bed pan.” - I think I stayed on the shot of Eve instead of cutting to Kane purely because I liked his line delivery in that shot, but I could have either looked for a shot of Kane with line delivery of a similar quality or cut to Kane reacting to Eve’s line and then cut back to Eve and had Kane’s line.

“The watch pickup ECU is a little quick, as you haven’t established the watch previous to this and it is a key object.” - I would agree with this, and feel it could be solved by either having the watch appear earlier and only having it appear briefly here, or only having it appear here and holding on it longer to make up for that.

“Generally the pace is a little slow at the start and end, and this scene can’t sustain longer than 3 minutes.” - With a runtime of 3 minutes 23 seconds, and Kieran stating the scene couldn't sustain a runtime of over 3 minutes, this was understandably deemed too long. While I was going for a slower pace as opposed to a fast one, it may have been possible to have found a middle ground between the two. With the opening, I have already said that it could be whittled down to about 20 seconds. The ending might have been a bit more difficult to cut down, as it isn't just Eve lying in bed but going across the room and doing various things, but I still think I could have cut it down a bit. This could have been done by minimising the time Eve is simply crossing the room and looking through the bag, and giving a good amount of time to the more important beats, like the watch, the photo ID and the other bed.

Overall Reflection:

I think some more communication could have been a bit better, and we would have benefitted from a few more meetings, just to update each other, make sure we were on the same page and make sure there were no major differences in our work. I personally would have liked to have spent even more time fine turning the script, and getting in a few more drafts, but I am still quite happy with the submitted work. Despite this, I think everyone did a good job at their respective jobs and turned in work of high quality, and I look forward to working on the independent project with this feedback in mind.