#turning you into a human taco

[taintandviolent]

Taco Tuesday ; Gambit x reader!

summary: You live across the hall from Wade Wilson, and one Tuesday, he invites you over for tacos. 🌮 And that’s where you meet him. The Gambit. Post-Void, everyone got out alive and everything is fine. [PART TWO HERE]

word count & w a r n i n g s: 5.4K | smut with very little plot, alcohol mention, slightly drunk (but very consenting) reader, French and typing out accents/dialects, pet names (cher, mon ami, mon coeur, etc.), dirty talk (cos he is a dirty talker, don't argue with me on this), fingering, unprotected sex, p in v, no use of y/n.

a/n: this is based 100% on Deadpool and Wolverine Gambit / Channing's version of Gambit!! sorry for the lack of plot here, he deserves better than this filth, but I am down ASTRONOMICALLY and I needed to get it out. I spent so much time trying to get his accent right, I hope it comes off the way I wanted it to... anyway! i'm not certain if anyone will read this, but if you do - thank you a million times over! as always, requests are open! - banner by @/strangergraphics, and Remy gif by @scintie!

↓ full fic under cut! ↓ / ao3 link here! / I don’t have a taglist anymore, but please turn on post notifications if you’d like to be notified of future fics!

He’s handsome. Like really handsome. 

Your stomach does a flip as he smiles at you, reaching for the bottle of Jack between your legs — wait. Pause. Rewind. How’d we get here?

Living in the same apartment complex as Wade Wilson was a trip. Even more of a trip was living across the hall from him. The things you heard coming from that apartment... nobody would believe you. So, you never told anyone. 

He’s kind. Albeit, zany but kind. Your interactions have been cordial and nauseatingly neighbourly. But on one regular ol' Tuesday afternoon, Wade invited you inside. He said something about having a party later that night, making tacos and being neighborly. He assured you that it wasn't a sex party... which to be honest, you weren't worried about until he'd mentioned it. Against your better judgement though, you'd agreed, and said you'd bring some liquor.

So, that evening, you opened your door, one bottle of Jack tucked under your arm, and another in your left hand. You shut the door to your apartment and walked straight across to your neighbour’s door. Your fist had rapped against the wood only twice before the door swung open, revealing Wade, and a very… strange and very bald looking dog in his arms. 

"Oh, what the fuck?" You asked, looking down at the creature. "I didn't know you had a dog…?"

Wade’s voice rose an octave or two, in a cutesy tone. "She's a new addition, yes she is!" 

"I brought... well, this. Sorry, it was all I had in my cabinets and to be perfectly honest, I wasn't about to go out and spend money on this. I like… barely know you."

"HA! Brutal honesty. We love to hear it." 

Wade took hold of your shoulder and yanked you inside, harsh enough that you made a small sound as he did. He shut the door with his foot, and towed you towards the table, where everyone was gathered. And that was when you first saw him. He wore all black, save for a tan trench coat with a high collar. He lounged casually on one of the dining chairs, playing with a deck of cards. They fluttered from hand to hand effortlessly, and for a moment, you were stuck, mesmerized by the dexterous way he handled them. You weren't sure what was pulling you towards him harder, your heart or your cunt, but you felt an undeniable draw to the man.

Wade's arm wound itself around your shoulders, guiding you around the room to meet each of his friends. At that point, living next to him, mutants were a forced transition. You were used to the concept of them, so meeting a giant silver man, for example, wasn't unexpected. Vanessa was the most normal - you were pretty sure she was human.

Finally, he got to the one you really wanted to meet. The one that your eyes had been darting back and forth to the entire time, the one that when he briefly met your gaze, your heart thudded in your chest. 

"And this... handsome slice of man, is the Gambit. Good luck understanding him, he's a real mouthful."

I’ll bet he is, you thought. 

He pocketed the cards in a quick motion and stood up from his chair. With a syrup-smooth chuckle, the man laughed and said: "You can call me Remy." He did in fact have a thick Cajun accent and spoke quickly – almost too quickly. You blinked once, focusing hard on his words.

"Remy," you repeated finally, before saying your own name and extending your hand. He took it gently and as he shook it, your palm tingled with what felt like electricity.

"Enchanté." (Enchanted)

Your cheeks burned, and you knew they were flushing. You couldn’t control it. "De même..." (Likewise.)

His brows lifted, surprised. "You speak French, mon ami?" (my friend) 

"Heh, uhh... comme un enfant." (Like a child) You chuckled low, averting your eyes for a millisecond. "I took a few years of it in high school and again in college. I’m by no means an expert."

Wade's eyes were wide, flicking back and forth between the two of you. There was obvious chemistry there, and a knowing smirk drew itself across his lips. Abruptly, he yanked one of the bottles of Jack Daniels from beneath your arm, before leaning against the nearby wall.

"Oh, fuck me. You understand Gumbo here? That’s cute. No idea what either of you are saying though, someone forgot to turn the subtitles on. I'll leave you two to get acquainted." Whatever that meant. You scoffed, but turned your attention back to Gambit, looking at him.

“Sit a while, cher.” 

You happily took the chair that he pulled out, not caring that it was facing away from the others, and plopped down onto it, situating the other bottle of Jack between your legs. You gripped the neck of the bottle tightly, and looked at him with a timid, but a come hither sort of smile. After a moment, you twisted the cap off, and flicked it off somewhere to your right. Wade would find it later, or he wouldn’t. You didn’t really care. 

You two talked for hours, most of which consisted of him telling you about the Void, and how hard it had been, while you pretended to comprehend it. Between words, you passed the bottle back and forth, taking mouthfuls, and inadvertently swapping spit as you did. The thought occurred to you about halfway through the conversation, and your stomach tightened. You shook your head lightly and clenched your thighs together, trying to stave off the arousal that was bubbling in your core. 

There we go. That’s better.

He’s handsome. Like really handsome. 

Your stomach does a flip as he smiles at you, reaching for the bottle, which was still situated between your legs. His fingertips just graze the side of your thigh and his eyes flit to yours. He holds his smile, waiting for you to either protest or move the moment forward, and all you can do is gawk, because your cunt starts throbbing. 

As the evening wears on, though cautious, it’s obvious that Remy feels the same pull that you do. He remains cool on the outside, but internally, he was battling the magnetic tugging he felt from you. He couldn't shake it. He’d compliment you, you’d compliment him. At one point, in between sips, you casually drop that you think his accent is hot and he whispers something underneath his breath, something you don’t understand. Before either of you realized it, you had started to lean closer to each other, your faces inches apart, and you felt the warm rush of his breath over your cheeks.

It was as if you both realized it simultaneously. You rear back, an embarrassed expression plastered on your face. Remy clears his throat. His attraction to you was stifling; something that he rarely felt. He was powerless in his want for you, the draw you had was irresistible.

"Maybe we should... uh..." You murmur, looking deep into his eyes. In a room full of people that were starting to fade away the closer you two got to each other, you were thankful you were still sober enough to suggest a different setting. Any longer and you surely would’ve just straddled him and gone to town. 

Remy moves first. 

"We gon' take a walk." He announces to the others, getting to his feet. 

The conversation stops abruptly, silence hanging heavy. You straighten up, trying your best to avert your gaze, but you still see everyone’s reaction. Someone clears their throat and your heart sinks, feeling like you might die on the spot. The one that had been introduced as Logan, gruff looking dude, raises a single brow at you. In true Wade-character, he ugly cackles, shattering the moment. Your shoulders sink, embarrassed, as you head towards the door, doing the proverbial walk of shame. 

Remy meets you at the door and pulls it open, holding it for you. You duck underneath his arm, looking sheepish and as you exit into the hallway, you think you heard Wade mutter something about a fanfiction but Remy yanks the door shut before you can react. 

“You want to… get some air? Or um… I have… well, no I had liquor, but I brought it to Wade’s.” 

He smiles, and looks down at the floor, before lifting his eyes back to you. “We can do whatever you want, chère. You ain’t gon’ catch me complainin’ eitha’ way.”

You chew on the inside of your cheek, considering the options. Your heart was hammering in your chest at the prospect of just being near him without the others around. You two had been close to kissing in Wade’s living room, and now, you had the opportunity to continue that… or take a walk. The latter seemed less appealing. 

“Y’know what, why don’t we… just…” You take a few steps backwards, jerking your head towards your front door. Concerningly, you had forgotten to lock your door. However, it allows you to open it quickly, and walk backwards into the apartment. Gambit follows you in, his attention never leaving you. 

"You sure 'bout dis, mon ami? I can walk away righ' now." His words land heavy, a promise behind them. He was a gentleman at heart, you could tell. Fortunately for him, you were very sure, and wanted every inch of him.

Mon ami - something that in the few hours you'd spent with him, he'd called you often. Among other things. Mon ami meant my friend, but you knew you two weren't just friends. You saw how he acted with others, and the comments he made. Sure, he had a quick wit and a mouth on him, but the flirting... god, the flirting.

He stands in the doorway, his shoulders filling the frame. Silently, you nod and take another step back, giving him some room to enter. He takes one wide step towards you, leaving the door open behind him. He reaches for your hip, and you immediately take to playing with his large hands. Delicately, you pay attention to each long digit, trailing your middle finger along the knuckles, and up and down the length of them. You dip into the spaces between, your fingers barely ghosting over the webbing. 

Was that a shiver? Your eyes flit to his, searching them for a hint.

"You sure do know how to make a man feel good." 

Your heart flutters at his words. With his accent, even the simplest of things sounded charming. At least to you. You felt that he could ask if you wanted coffee or how the weather was and you'd be twirling your hair around your finger like a desperate schoolgirl. Embarrassing. 

You’re about to respond and defend yourself by saying that all you had done was play with his hands, which was hardly considered foreplay, but his fingers come up underneath your chin, gently closing your mouth with a dull click of your teeth. He tilts it upwards to an angle where he could easily kiss you. And kiss you, he does. 

It was the kind of kiss that makes your knees buckle, sends a violent shudder from the nape of your neck down to the base of your spine. It’s the kind of kiss that needs to come with a warning; Danger: Will Result In Sex. As his lips move against yours, you feel the urgency of his need, of his want, and hum into his lips. Remy takes that as a green light and deepens the kiss, moving his body so that it’s pressing flush against yours. The action leaves you immediately breathless and in response, you break the kiss, tucking your chin to your chest. Your hand finds his torso, pressing hard against the muscles underneath the shirt.  

"Ah, don't you be actin' shy now. You been teasin' me for hours."

“I have not!”

“You think I didn’t notice all ‘dem touches an’ looks you were givin’ me? I may ‘ave been born at night, but I wasn’t born last night.” 

He had you there. You couldn’t deny that, at all. Even if you’d wanted to. Which, part of you did. Part of you was very nervous, standing before this very handsome man, with the taste of his mouth still lingering on your lips but another part of you, the louder one, was delighted that he’d noticed. Furthermore, that he’d enjoyed them enough to come to your room.

You lift your hand behind him, pushing the door shut with a harsh shove. With a twist of your fingers, you activate the locking mechanism, sliding the deadbolt into place. Gambit chuckles, grinning down at you. Your heart leaps into your throat, but you press on bravely, lacing your arms around his neck. They trail down the front of his body, feeling the muscles as they twitch with each ragged breath. 

He quirks a brow as if to ask, 'Oh, really?' You simply smirk back at him. The contact is electric, and you find yourself resisting the urge to grind against him immediately. Instead, you focus on his hands again, bringing one of them up to your lips. You press a delicate kiss on the pads, before slipping one into your mouth and sucking gently. Remy makes a deep, husky sound in his throat, and brings his other hand to your hip, where he pulls you roughly against him.

For a man that uses his hands often, the sensations are high. The way your mouth envelops his finger, your tongue writhing around the digit had his jaw clenching, muscles fluttering on the side of his face. When you draw his finger into the confines of your throat, deep-throating it, his eyes roll back in pleasure. He pulls his hand back, shaking it off as if the inside of your mouth was hot to the touch.

"Woo, you nasty, huh? Nevah’ woulda' guessed... you been actin' like a good little girl 'uhround me." 

After that, it all happened very quickly. Gambit takes a step and connects his lips with yours again, pushing them into you in an act of desperation. Without breaking the kiss, he shrugs out of his jacket, tossing it onto a nearby surface. You push against him until his back hits the door with a heavy thud, definitely loud enough for any innocent bystanders to hear. Your fingers undo the button of your jeans, breaking the kiss for only a second to slide them down your legs. 

Once you return to his waiting mouth, the kiss deepens and the coil in your stomach winds tighter, claiming your body in a deep, fiery arousal. His big arms wrap around you, enveloping you in a heated embrace. Just for a moment, it’s tender — but shortly after, his hands drop to your ass, fingers slipping underneath the band of fabric to take greedy fistfuls of each cheek. 

Your hands find their way to his shoulders, gripping the roundness of them to use as leverage. Letting out a little hum, you sweep your hips across his groin, pressing tightly against him. His eyes drift shut, head bumping against the door as he leaned it back, a low growl coming from his throat. Keeping at it, you grind your hips against him, feeling the outline of his length as it hardens.

“You be drivin’ Remy crazy, grindin’ on me like ‘dat.”

“That’s the intention….” You stand on your tiptoes to pepper kisses on his lips, your warm breath fanning over his face, smelling faintly of Jack Daniels. Remy trails his hand carefully up your rib cage until he gets to the side of your breast, where he quickly slips around to the front, his large hand cupping the fullness of it outside of your shirt. Your reaction is visceral; your breath hisses through your teeth at the sensitivity. 

Remy laughs again and with his free hand, pulls your hips back to his. Swiftly, he spins you around, pinning you between his body and the hard surface of the door. He presses himself tightly against you, shifting slightly so that his thigh was between your legs. The sensation of something that close to your core is dangerous and brings a weak, mewling whimper from your mouth.

“We gon’ have ourselves some fun.” His voice is low, tinged with a new sort of lustful tone that you hadn't heard before. Your mind is spinning, growing dizzy with lust. The alcohol had certainly helped your nerves, you were never usually this brazen. Your core burns with desire at his words, silently begging for everything he was about to give you. His lips hover just over yours; you can feel his breath on your skin and the heat that radiates off his body as it presses into yours.

"Oh my god," you whisper into his mouth. "Fuck..."

His teeth nip at your bottom lip before he captures your mouth in a heated, passionate kiss again. His tongue explores the inside, swirling along your own wet muscle. With every passing second, your heart beats faster and his hands grip your hips tighter, thumbs massaging the flesh above your jeans.

“Wrap ‘dem legs around me, mon coeur.” (My heart) Remy’s voice is husky with want; amongst his playful, lilted tone, a possessiveness lingered, and the thought sends a chill down your spine. He nods once, encouraging you into his waiting arms. You jump up, and he catches you effortlessly, gripping your thighs tight and hoisting you up into his grasp. Feeling secure, you wrap both legs around his waist and encircle his neck with your arms. Your gaze meets his and you can see the wanton need mirrored in his own eyes, darkened with desire.

Remy's smirk is dripping with confidence. Your body's response to him was causing his ego to swell within his chest, and his cock to swell within his pants. He leans in close, his lips against your ear, nipping at the lobe softly before pulling back slightly. In one fluid movement, his hips buck up against your center, teasing you over the layers of clothing. You let out a moan, throwing your head back against the door.

He thrusts up into you again, chuckling low against your ear. The hard line of his cock grinds against you, making you stutter out expletives as it presses against you with a needy demand. 

"You like 'dat, cher? Talk t' me..."

You nod, swallowing and wetting your throat. "Y-yeah, fuck... I do... need you – it – so bad."

“Whaddya’ need?”

“N-need you… so bad.” 

“You can do betta’. Tell Remy what you need...” 

He presses you harder against the door, your back sliding against the wood as he kisses a trail down from your mouth to your shoulder, sucking and biting with all the right intensities. As his hips grind against yours, you feel the damp fabric slide across your cunt, alerting you to just how wet he’d made you. Fuck. 

“Need… need you to fuck me. Hard. Need to feel you everywhere.”  

A few hours ago, you’d agreed to Taco Tuesday at Wade’s. Now, you were getting dry humped by a really hot Cajun guy and moaning into the curve between his neck and his shoulder. You were positive that if someone opened their door, they’d hear you. Somewhere in your brain, the thought should have been moderately embarrassing, but you were far too invested in Remy to care. 

Without warning, Gambit lifts you away from the door and carries you to the nearby couch. He never breaks the kiss, still feverishly claiming your mouth as he moves. Your back hits the cushions and before you can process it, his body weight is on top of you. He slots himself in between your legs, and his hard-on bumps into your stomach as his hips rut against you, finding some relief in the friction. But not enough. 

Remy’s hand finds the hem of your shirt, lifting it just enough to allow his fingers underneath the fabric. You bite down on the pillow of your bottom lip and push your hips up into his. Thick, strong digits sweep across your skin, leaving a burning trail of fire in their wake. Every touch brings your temperature up, and it isn’t long before your entire body is consumed in flames. You sigh contentedly, arching up into his touch. 

Abruptly, Remy straightens up, crosses his arms over his torso and pulls his shirt over his head, revealing his tan skin and bulky muscles. His stocky stature makes your tummy clench with anticipation. He was fit, as you assumed, but that didn’t stop your jaw from falling open at the sight. 

“Wow,” you finally choke.

Remy grins. “You like what you see?” 

You nod furiously, hands snapping to his toned abdomen. He’s warm and his skin is soft, begging to be touched. The muscles flex underneath your fingers as you trace a long stripe from his belly button to his collarbone. Your hands claw at his shoulder, attempting to pull him back down on you, but he resists. 

He spoke with a playfulness, almost a sort of pleading. His thumbs flicks at the hem of your shirt. “Ah, c’mon, ‘dat ain’t fair. Enlève-tout toi, huh?” (Take it all off.)

You thought you understood, but if you didn’t, it didn’t matter. Remy was quick to translate his words, busy undressing you, pulling your worn t-shirt over your head, and reaching around your back to unclasp your bra. Most men would’ve fumbled with the clasp, but not him. His adept fingers make quick work of it, allowing your breasts to fall free. He throws your bra somewhere behind him. 

“Hooo, cher…!” His eyes light up at the visual and you feel heat blooming on your cheeks again, half expecting him to make a lewd comment. Instead, his hands cup your tits, kneading the soft plumpness like dough, thumbs grazing the nipples. He exhales through his mouth, jerking his head to the side. 

Finally, he kisses you again. It’s wet and sloppy and his mouth is consuming you, tasting you hungrily. His hips are still moving, sweeping into yours with a calculated precision. You try to spread your legs but the back of the couch thwarts your attempt. He notices this, watching as you struggle with the space. 

“You got a bed?” He asked in between smearing kisses along your neck and collarbone. 

“Yeah-yeah…. Down the hall.” 

“Remy be needin’ more room for what he wanna’ do t’you.”

His weight is suddenly gone from you, an unwelcome sensation, even though you know he’s about to carry you wedding-style down the hallway. He bends down, one arm sliding underneath your neck, the other in the crook behind your knees. For the second time that night, he lifts you into his arms.

You rest your cheek against his warm pectoral muscle, rocking back and forth, as he walks you both down the dark hallway. The only light in the room comes from the window, the city outside alive and humming. Carefully, Remy sets you down on the bed, unmade from this morning, your dark gray sheets cool to the touch. 

In nothing but your underwear, which at this point, are damp to the touch, you’re left feeling very exposed. But you can’t muster up any shame, not when he’s looking at you with such hunger, such want. Your tummy feels tight, and the feeling gets worse when Remy’s hands drop to his waist, unzipping and unbuttoning his pants. They fall loose at the waist, and he shucks them down the rest of the way, leaving him in nothing but a pair of deep purple boxers. Your eyes swing heavy to the outline that’s now presented to you. 

Oh my god. 

Your breath hitches in your throat. It shouldn’t have come as a surprise; Remy was a big guy, and that proved true downstairs, too. You can barely pull your eyes away from it, but you begrudgingly rip them away, to look up into his gaze. 

“Please,” you beg. “You’re too far away…” Your cunt is aching and nothing but him, his hands, his dick, will sate her. 

He leans forward, flattening both hands on the mattress and walks them back until his face is in front of yours. He sweeps you into another kiss and your heart races. His hands are perfectly positioned on either side of your hips, you feel them graze the flesh. His finger hooks around the elastic of your panties, twisting it around his pointer finger and gradually, he tugs them down over the curve of your hip.

You nod lazily against his mouth, as you feel the warmth of his hand near your core. Your legs drop apart, knees touching the mattress as you allow him access. One hand sweeps across your inner thighs, stroking them, while the other palms your soft mound. His other hand comes to pause at your knee, and pushes his weight into it softly, forcing you to stay spread-eagle for him. No way you could’ve done this on the sofa. 

There’s no hesitation in the way he fingers you; sweeping up through your slick folds, smearing your arousal around until she’s coated in it, splaying your pretty, wet cunt apart with his fingers, looking upon it hungrily. He knows what he’s doing, and how to do it right. You briefly wonder if that’s another mutant power he has… though being an expert at fingering someone seems outlandish. But he’s just so good at it. His middle finger barely touches you, circling the bundle of nerves delicately. Your back arches up towards him, a desperate groan vibrating your vocal chords. Delighted by your reaction, his finger flicks upwards at your swollen, sensitive clit, making your body literally quiver. 

“Uhugh – god…. Shit, oh my god.” 

He continues like this for several minutes, until your cunt is blazing hot and clenching with every moan you give. 

By the time he presses one finger inside, you’re teetering on the edge of an orgasm and your voice fills the room with needy, desperate sounds. You let out a shrill whine, and he slips in another finger, feeling the stretch of muscle as he does. His heart is pounding in his chest, overcome with lust. The way you sound, the way your body is moving and writhing on the bed, he can’t wait to sink himself into you. 

Amidst a laugh, he says: “People gon’ think we up in here watchin’ porn.”

Did he just insinuate that you sounded like a pornstar? You lifted your head, wearily, to look at him. Your chest heaves with each breath as you try to formulate a snarky remark to no avail. He looked so good – well, always – but he looked particularly good on top of you, his bright eyes lust blown and hungry. 

“We’re… we’re… porn… it’s…  oh god.” 

He shushes you. “You just lay back and keep moanin’.” 

Defeated, you huff and your head hits the sheets again, but not before you catch a glimpse of the way the muscles in his forearm ripple as it pumps back and forth into your cunt. You can’t help but moan at the sight, feeling a shockwave rupture your core. Your hips meet his fingers, rutting and writhing against the mattress in a needy rhythm.

Your first orgasm claims your body before you can stop it. You’re clenching around his fingers as they move, crooking upwards into your sensitive spots. Your slick coats his fingers and when Gambit pulls his hand back, thick, clear strands string from between them. He smiles down at you. 

Remy raises himself to his knees. “Turn ‘round…” 

You flip over and back yourself towards him, thinking that he’s going to go at it doggy-style, but to your surprise, he pulls you upright, pressing your back against his chest. His dick is hot between your legs, and when he reaches down to line it up, you let your head loll back against his shoulder. Gambit’s mouth finds the side of your neck, streaking it with wet, suckling kisses. He was taking his time with you, savouring you and you hum happily through closed lips, reaching behind you to thread your fingers through his hair.

“Fuck, you feel so good…” Instinctively, your hips undulate and his cock slips between your folds. Remy’s hips buck once, letting out a groan that comes from somewhere deep. 

“You ready, cher?” He asks, sweeping your hair away from your neck. You nod furiously. You’ve been ready – you were ready the moment you laid eyes on him.

Remy reaches down to sweep his fingers along your entrance briefly, before gripping himself and guiding the head of his cock into the slit. You keen at the feeling of his velvet-soft head pressing into your entrance, warm pre-cum leaking from the slit. He murmurs words of encouragement into your ear as you feel his hips press against your ass, urging his thick, veiny shaft inside your cunt. He does it gently, allowing you time to adjust to the girth, but the sting still makes you cry out. “Fffuck!”

He begins to thrust his hips shallowly, your cunt stretching around his cock. The feeling is all-consuming, and your body feels heavy in his grasp. One hand is gripping your waist tightly, the other, fingers splayed out on your stomach just above your cunt. There’s a pressure building in your cunt, and each thrust magnifies it. The sting of his cock fades to an ache, then to a dull throbbing that makes you want more and you lean forward slightly and press your ass into the curves of his hips, meeting his thrusts. 

“Mm, ‘dat’s it, cher…” His voice is hot on your skin. 

His thrusts get deeper, but there’s a lingering tension in his body that makes you feel like he’s not getting what he wants. You’re right; all at once, Remy pulls his cock from you and switches positions. 

You’re suddenly on your back, looking up at him as he looms over you, all muscle. His cockhead nudges your entrance again, but doesn’t penetrate. 

“Say my name, cher… I needa’ hear it leave ‘dat pretty mouth.” 

“Which one? Gambit? Or Remy?” You ask, breathlessly.

The way his eyes rolled back at the second option told you everything you needed to know. A smirk twisted your lips cruelly and you lifted your body slightly, just enough for your mouth to reach his ear. You moan his name over and over again, knowing full well the effect it’s having on the mutant man.

“Remy, Remy, Remy….” Your tone is high-pitched and whiny, but he seems to enjoy the lewdness of it all. He bucks his hips hard into you, and the fullness reaches an all-time high as he bottoms out, his pelvis hitting yours with a slap.

“Huhhh—!” You gasp, breathing ragged. “Fuck!”

“Gonna’ make you cum so hard you ain’t gon’ walk right for days.” His voice is low and filthy and leaves a stain on your mind. Your cunt clenches around him possessively, pulling him somehow deeper inside of you. 

As your head bangs into your headboard, the tip of his cock bumps your cervix over and over again, and your jaw goes slack, literally fucked silent. Remy hears the thudding of your skull and puts a hand between it and the wood, but he doesn’t stop his relentless, deep thrusting. 

The pleasure reaches a peak and your nails dig into his back, leaving crescent moon shaped indentations on his golden skin. Remy’s groaning loud into your ear as he cums, muttering in an almost incoherent melange of French and English. His accent is somehow heavier, and you can barely make out the words as he’s saying them into your skin. It doesn’t matter though, because you feel how full you are, and Remy’s hot, white completion is leaking out the sides and staining your sheets. 

He stays like that for a moment, hovering on top of you. His cock softens inside, completely spent and eventually, he slips it out, rolling over onto your bed.

“Ah, joi de vivre, huh.” (the joy of life), he says drowsily.

You laugh, and nestle underneath his arm, in the space he’s left for you. 

If you had your way, you’d do it all over again. 

Though he doesn’t say it, so would he. 

[incorrectbatfam]

The batkids (and their partners/crushes/friends) with pride month hcs?

Tim: Lady. Gentleman. Bart. You are about to meet my boyfriend. Now remember, he doesn't know I'm Robin, so you need to act like human people. Can you do that?

Kon, Cassie, and Bart: Yes sir!

Bernard, entering: Hey, it's nice to meet you guys. I'm so glad we're going to Pride together.

Cassie: *lasso immediately falls out of her bag*

Kon: *lasers the ground at Bernard's feet*

Bart: Hi, I'm Impulse.

Tim: *facepalm*

Bart: What? We didn't give away YOUR identity.

———————

Steph, running a food truck: Pride snacks! Get your Pride snacks hot 'n ready! Get two-for-one on the bi-rria tacos!

Margie: I bet you don't have anything for straight pride. You know, the rest of us normal people.

Steph: Yo Cass, one cishet sizzler!

Cass: *throws coffee in Margie's face*

Steph: That'll be $19.99.

Steph: *turns the screen around for tips*

———————

Selina: *wears a shirt saying Free Mom Hugs*

Bruce: *wears a shirt saying Inclusive Dad Jokes*

Alfred: *wears a shirt saying Weird Grandpa Stories*

Kate: *wears a shirt saying I'm Just Gonna Tell You To Dump Them*

———————

Harper: Since this is your first Pride, we're gonna show you the ropes.

Duke: Thanks, I appreciate it.

Harper: Over there we have the Batgirls food truck. Over there is Cullen's evil mafia boyfriend selling Uno cards. And over there is the Justice League in Justice League themed drag.

Cullen: And over there is the porta potty.

Duke: Only one?

Cullen: We ran over budget. But it's gender-neutral.

———————

Renee: Kate's busy telling people to dump their partners. Mind if I hang out here?

Harley: Not a problem! Want a bi-rria taco?

Renee: Nah, but I'll take the les-beans if you don't want them.

Ivy: We were just about to start a game of Gay Uno.

Renee: Gay Uno?

Harley: It's like regular Uno except when you put down a +4 you have to kiss.

Renee: Deal me in.

———————

Jason: You take the Main Street entrance. I'll cover Atlantic up to Washington. Rendezvous here in an hour.

Roy: And then we make out?

Jason, sighing: Sure.

Roy: Sloppy style?

Jason: This is a PG-13 post, Roy.

———————

Dick: Of course I make people question their sexuality with a face like this.

Wally: Sure, your face...

Wally: *glances down*

Donna: You guys are exhausting. I'm joining Roy on patrol.

———————

Barbara: Welcome to the annual conference of Sapphics Who Used To Date Dick Grayson. Helena, what's the first item on our agenda?

Helena: Discussing forming a polycule over dinner.

Bette: I already made a reservation.

Kory: I call braiding everyone's hair.

———————

Luke: Thanks for giving me a hand with the fireworks.

Carrie: Of course. By the way, I have something to tell you. You're the first person I've told.

Luke: I accept you.

Carrie: Thanks, but I was actually gonna say that I scratched your car in the parking lot.

Luke: WHAT?!

Carrie: Also I go by she/they.

———————

Lois: How on Earth did you burn your cape at a Pride festival?

Jon: Well...

[earlier]

Damian and Jon: *watching the fireworks*

Damian: I like that flower one.

Jon: *shoots into the sky to grab it*

Damian: *facepalm*

Tim, sitting nearby: You and me both.

[wilder-cats]

format by @littleguysdaily

please share! kittens from southwest idaho need homes!

(check the blog for photos & updates on who's been adopted!)

these kittens were initially from a colony in canyon county, idaho. unfortunately the local humane society is unable to take in cats outside of emergencies like illness or serious injuries, so we've been bringing in kittens & doing what we can to find them all homes -- we've had about 20 kittens in and out of our house since spring!

at the moment, none of them have been vaccinated, chipped, or fixed. they were all given OTC dewormer a month ago and have been checked for fleas and ticks. they all seem happy, healthy, and active.

i don't know their exact ages, but i've done my best to approximate. clicking on the links should take you to their tag on this blog so you can see their photos.

otacon, male, ~4 months. a teeny tiny sweetheart. he doesn't seem to enjoy being pet as much as the other cats, but he LOVES cuddling -- you'll have to keep an eye on him, because he will absolutely try to climb you so he can sit on your shoulder.

solid snake, male, ~4 months. an adorable purr and a BIG personality! he needs to learn how to keep his claws to himself while playing, but he's incredibly tolerant of being handled -- his only gripe about getting his nails trimmed is that he can't play with the clippers. loves blankets. loves to be under blankets. loves to attack the unsuspecting from under blankets.

marble cake, male, ~6 months. VERY chatty, very affectionate, and very underfoot! he is OBSESSED with being pet & will follow me around meowing insistently & trying to lay down on my feet until ive given him enough attention.

taco tuesday, female, ~6 months. this lovely lady was much older than the others when we finally managed to catch her, & is VERY nervous around new people. she loves treats, affection, all of the other cats, & curling up at the foot of the bed to sleep. her favorite place to be pet is right at the base of her tail. please be aware that it is possible that she is pregnant.

capillary action (aka captain) male, ~7 months. will not let you forget he's in charge. he will follow you around the house and scream until you fulfill whatever demand he may have. this can be anything from petting to getting a little treat, but his favorite is a little piece of cheesestick. he will do anything for a cheesestick. unfortunately for him, he's on a diet. (this cat is being fostered by another family member, so information & photos are a bit lacking, sorry!)

ETA: taco tuesday is currently being fostered by another individual through the idaho humane society! everyone else will be turned over to simply cats on february 3rd! please keep an eye out if you'd like to adopt any of them ❤️

[seat-safety-switch]

With the ever-present rush towards convenience, so many sit-in restaurants are becoming take-out-only instead. Let's be honest: none of us really want to go outside and talk to people in order to get food. Just flip that app and bingbong® yourself a drunk order of fried treats for only $25 in fees.

Pizza Hut was one of the first to abandon the pull of large square footage, throwing millions of nostalgic red plastic cups into industrial grinders in a mad rush to stop bleeding so much goddamn money all the time. Today, those cups are worth $250 on eBay, so they look pretty stupid now, don't they?

The problem with all this is, in the time of our foreparents, it was real hard to fake the existence of a restaurant. If you went to a Pizza Hut, it was a real-ass physical building. It probably had not been copy-pasted together by a bunch of Taiwanese scam artists using Google Image Search fifteen seconds before you appeared. That was more of a Taco Bell thing. Nowadays, you can't be sure. Computers treat bullshit the same as any other kind of shit, so sometimes you'll be ordering from a completely imaginary restaurant. Feels weird, doesn't it?

As with many other cases in my adult life where I figured out everyone was just faking it, I decided to try and make some quick money. Papa needed a new engine, you see, and Slant Sixes don't exactly grow on trees anymore. With just a couple wonky Excel spreadsheets and a glob of code the size of Upper Tonawanda, I was in business with Switch's Fun-Time Pizza, an entirely non-fictitious restaurant whose address happened to be at the same place as a Pizza Hut.

Folks would pay me money, and then I'd quickly pay Pizza Hut to have a pizza ready by the time the delivery guy rolled up. Nobody seemed to care that the box said the wrong thing, and soon I was collecting fat stacks of money for doing nothing at all, just like the platforms themselves. This went on for a few weeks, fattening my bank account for slaughter. Until the first complaints came in, that is.

Yes, friends: it turned out that the local Pizza Hut had hired someone who wasn't very good at washing their hands. Soon, I was handing out big-time refunds on behalf of a massive international corporation, except I was doing so out of my own ill-gotten profits. My rickety, strung-together bullshit engine made entirely out of spreadsheets and chewing gum simply could not comprehend the idea of a refund, much less one for a weak human phenomenon such as food poisoning. Soon, all the money was gone.

Have I learned something from this whole experience? Yes. The most important thing in food service is to wash your hands thoroughly before (and after!) handling the customer's meat. The second most important thing is to charge at least a hundred percent premium over your supplier, to leave room for little hiccups such as this.

That's way easier to do if you position yourself as an upscale luxury restaurant, such as Lord Switchington of Canterbury's Refined Palate Pizza Parlour For Bourgeois Assholes Only, which will be launching this weekend in the very expensive neighbourhood next to mine. Hopefully their Pizza Hut is a little bit better at keeping the bathroom soap dispenser stocked.

[wigglermansblog]

I always see Cybertronians having humans as pets, how about we make something different dear writers? I want to see something opposite, where the cybertronians become the human's tiny pet instead, I am sure their size is like the figurines you have on your shelves.

----------------------

Autobot/Decepticon : You are my pet now! *points at human*

(Y/n) : No, you! *pulls out Uno reverse card *

Autobot/Decepticon : NOOOOOOOoooooo!!! *turns into a marketable figurine*

(Y/n) : *picks up the Autobot/Decepticon* You are my friend now, let's get soft tacos together turutututututu~

-----------------------

A/n : Tbh, I am more into chaotic reader lol

------------------------

Bonus :

Younger cousin : Can I play with them, please?

( Y/n ) : *is holding Autobot/Decepticon that they hate * 🤔

Autobot/Decepticon: *shakes head* No, please. Don't—

(Y/n) : Since you said 'please', sure why not 😁

Autobot/Decepticon :

.

.

.

Meanwhile me, who writes the situation :

[kaijuno]

I found an interesting movie.

This movie, Lowlife, from 2017, starring absolutely no one you've ever heard of before, is bad ass. Its like Breaking Bad if it was directed by Robert Rodriquez.

The movie is about a group of lowlives, a drug addict, an ex con, a luchador wrestler and a neo nazi, who team up to stop a human trafficking ring run out of a taco shop.

This movie has done something I've never seen before - One of the characters is a Neo-Nazi Skinhead who turns out to actually be one of the best characters in the whole movie with one of the greatest character arcs I've ever seen. Its funny and also pretty dark at times, oozing style.

The director hasn't made anything since, but here's hoping that he makes more like this soon. Apparently, all the actors and crew are his friends. This is an ultra low budget movie, but it doesn't even show - Production value is on point.

EDIT: It is on Prime and AMC+ In North America, maybe other countries. It was on Tubi at one point, might come back. There are new copies in eBay of the blu ray and DVD. And there's also "other methods" if everything else fails you .

[kasanetetolover]

i genuinely wonder what the II characters names would be if they were human. idk why i've been wondering that for a couple days now. like. what would taco's name be. or baseball's. how do you turn object names into a human name what

[lovestuckstarz]

Since I'm too sick to draw him here's a little thing about my little guy, Berry!

This AU is just called Bad Dads AU, nothing fancy but its essentially a multiverse where Berry never aged to an adult as a genocide happened far before Chara fell and Core Frisk to the OT and the MTT just yoinked him

Heres just a big copy paste from the unfinished carrd :3

P.S. if you draw him i will cry

🥕 Berry is from an Underswap timeline that was doomed from the start. A human fell down before Chara would and did an all complete genocide route minus Berry himself.

🥕 Core Frisk then took Berry to the Omega timeline. Berry was around 4 at this time.

🥕 Months later after Berry turned 5, the Murder Time Trio appeared needing some healing help after a mission. Dust spotted Berry and since he had never seen a kid Sans like this, he asked Core Frisk what his deal was.

🥕 Dust, who shockingly was good with kids, had Berry hang out with the three until they were properly healed. Berry seemed to like Dust so Core Frisk allowed it.

🥕 What Core Frisk didn't allow or expect was the three to kidnap him and bring him back to Nightmare's castle. Their motive was solely because they had their own troubled up bringing, they resonated with Berry and knew no one could understand him besides them most likely.

🥕 Despite this belief, Berry does not remember anything but knew he had an older brother but doesn't even remember his name.

🥕 Nightmare was unaware of Berry's existence for a whole two weeks, assuming the boys just bought a dog until one morning he walked in on Berry eating cereal in the living space.

He reluctantly agreed to keeping Berry there

🥕 Overtime Berry met Error who became his 5th honorary dad due to Nightmare's relationship with Error.

🥕 Saejun would become his 6th honorary dad once Murder Time Trio takes him to Farmtale the first time.

🥕 Cross becomes more like a older brother to Berry over time and is why Berry likes tacos. In turn this would make Epic family as well to him

🥕 Ink, Dream, and Fresh would all become his uncles when they went to the anti void and caught Error and Berry watching undernovela.

About Berry in general:

🥕 Berry's timeline is Underswap #33

🥕 Berry does not remember his Papyrus

🥕 The only thing he has left of Papyrus is the bracelet he never takes off

🥕 When the genocide occurred he was 4 years old

🥕 He is 5 years old when the Murder Time Trio kidnap him from the Omega Timeline

🥕 He has ADHD and HPD

🥕 He sleeps in Nightmare's room for the first few months due to not being able to sleep well plus they needed to set him up a bed room

🥕 He can barely read but not write

🥕 Dust calls him Kiddo

🥕 Killer calls him Bunbun

🥕 Horror calls him Bluebell

🥕 When playing pretend they all call him whatever he wishes for that day

🥕 He is home schooled

🥕 His room is space and bunny themed

🥕 He gets agitated if they make him wear anything but his shoes with the paws on the bottom

🥕 He likes watching the boys spar

🥕 He likes bunnies

🥕 He loves space

🥕 His favorite family member is Error because his sneaks him sweets from Underfell

🥕 His least favorite family member is Ink because of his dads

🥕 He hates being alone

🥕 He likes school because his dads make it fun

🥕 He likes to draw a lot

🥕 He loves swimming and water in general

🥕His favorite location is Nightmare's garden

🥕 He loves being read stories

🥕 He loves playing dress up and his dads are more than willing to comply

🥕 He doesn't like talking about what happened because he doesnt remember so it stresses him out

🥕 He loves hide and seek but the paw's on the bottoms of his shoes him away

Family Dynamics

🥕 Nightmare and him have an odd relationship. Think of it like how a dad says they hate the family dog but spoils them. He says he could care less about Berry but spoils him and puts him before the boys. He also reads to Berry a lot and helps him with schooling.

🥕 Error doesn't like kids due to canonically not liking intense emotions such as crying but over time has gotten use to Berry. Also their love of sweets and space sort of helped Error find a way to make him not as upset.

🥕 Killer and Dust are pretty one in the same as Killer isn't to be trusted around Berry due to being a dumbass with knives and Nightmare doesn't want him to accidentally do something stupid on top of how Killers stages can be. Due to this, Dust and Killer are usually with him at the same time and usually watch TV with him and let him watch them fight one another. They also are bad influences on him.

🥕 Horror isn't that keen on kids like Error but that is because I love big Horror so he's more scared he's gonna pull a Mice of Men and accidentally hurt Berry. They do cook together from time to time, mainly just Berry watching. Berry also uses Horror to threaten those he doesn't like LOL

🥕 Cross is like a older brother to Berry, often getting him not to do stupid stuff Killer and Dust try and get him to do. They mainly just chill and Cross is like those two but not as chaotic.

🥕 Epic is just that cool annoying uncle to him, nothing more nothing less

🥕 Fresh is also this but Berry likes Fresh more

🥕 Dream is also like an Aunt to Berry (I love you trans fem dream) and hangs out with Berry if things at Nightmare's gets too chaotic and Nightmare needs at least one kid out of his tendrils. Berry is honestly the reason these two can even be in a room together mainly on Nightmares end since he wants Berry to be better than them. Berry likes Dream's positivity powers though and I like to think she can make little sparkles out of it and he gets excited over it.

🥕 He hates Ink for literally no reason but because his Bad Sans family telling him to LMAO

🥕 Saejun and him have a sweet relationship due to Berry liking bunnies so let's him take care of them if Horror brings him over and they pick berries together (heh).

[xinnamonbun]

For Totally NoParticularReason,

what would the ii cast's names be turned into if they had normal names? This isn't for a humanization or anything just ... Curious?

Here are some that I've already come up with (If they don't have last names I haven't thought of it yet & Cheesy's knees are gonna hurt after this), purple means I added these after the original post

Blueberry - Berry Blue

Bomb - Bob

Bow - Bo

Cabby - Casey

Candle - Cassandra

Clover - Clover Shamrock

Fan - Dan/Fanuel/Finn/Felix (WHY DO YOU HAVE SO MANY OPTIONS BUDDY-)

Knife - Kyle/Nate

Lightbulb - Lila Bulb

Nickel - Nick El

OJ - Owen Juice

Paper - Peter

Paintbrush - Payton Brush

Pepper - Pepper

Salt - Sally/Satie

Silver Spoon - Silver Spoon/Silvester Spoon

Soap - Sophia

Suitcase - Sue Case

Taco - Belle Taco

Tea Kettle - Tina Kettle

Test Tube - Tessa Tube

Tissues - Shawn Sues

These are stupid but I've just been thinking about this for-... Reasons. And I just needed to share-

Forgot to mention this earlier but you can use any of these names in a humanization or something without crediting me! Besides that would be hypocritical since half of these are recommendations (as in I didn't think of em)

[zepskies]

Strong as Blood - Part 1

Pairing: Soldier Boy/Ben x F. Reader

Summary: After you accidentally break through a solid wood table, you know there’s something wrong with you. You begin to have your suspicions, but can you keep it from Ben long enough to find out? 

(In other words: This is the story of how you and Ben discover that you’re pregnant.)

AN: This two-part fic can be read as stand-alone, but it’s really a bonus sequel to Break Me Down!

Word Count: 4,500

Tags/Warnings: 18+ only! Angst, fluff, and a smutty ending. 

To find the chronological reading order for the series, check out the series masterlist. ⤵️

💚 Break Me Down

Part 1: “Probably Temporary”

Make no mistake. Ben was still a terrible cook.

He’d sort of gotten the hang of the grill though, even if he technically wasn’t supposed to be smoking meat on the apartment’s second-floor balcony. 

You peeked out at your boyfriend through the sliding glass door to make sure he was still doing okay. He caught you though, and shot you a wink.

He was very proud of his grill. 

We’re so gonna get in trouble with the homeowner’s association, you thought, but you couldn’t help a smile. You obliged him when he beckoned you over, and you slid the door open. 

“Almost done? I think our neighbors are going to complain again,” you said with a laugh. Ben rolled his eyes.

“It’s a bit of smoke, not a fucking forest fire,” he groused. “Let those uppity fucks complain. Bet’cha they won’t have the balls to say shit to my face if I go across the street for a little visit.” 

You soothed him with a hand along his shoulder. It also gave you an excuse to check on his progress. You considered this episode to be a success, considering the balcony wasn’t up in flames this time. And the steaks actually looked good. Not brittle pieces of charcoal, but not raw and bleeding either.  

“I think those are done,” you advised. Ben followed your gaze and nodded. He used his bare hands to turn the foil-wrapped potatoes, just because he could. 

“Why don’t you take ‘em in while I finish up these potatoes,” he said. “How’s the rest coming?”

“Good. I’m about to take the casserole out of the oven,” you said with a nod. Meanwhile, he placed the steaks in a glass dish that been sitting near the open grill. He handed it to you, but you almost dropped the steaks when the hot glass burned your hands. 

You hissed in pain, while Ben caught the dish with both hands. His brows furrowed, first in surprise, then in thinly veiled concern when he looked over at you. He reached out for your shoulder. 

“Damn,” he said. “Didn’t seem that hot…you okay?”

You looked up from your stinging hands and sighed at him in exasperation, but you couldn’t get that mad at him. He sometimes couldn’t gauge things like this when it came to what he could handle, versus what your normal human body could. 

“Yeah. I’ll just break out the aloe. First, let me get some oven mitts,” you replied, but your answering smile retained some good humor. Ben quirked an apologetic smile of his own. He decided to follow you into the kitchen, taking the steaks in himself. 

You grabbed your favorite green oven mitts and carefully took out the veggie casserole. It smelled delicious, but Ben still peered at it over your shoulder when you placed it on the counter. 

“Don’t you look at my casserole sideways,” you quipped. “You need to eat more veggies.”

He leveled you with a dry look. “You saying I’m getting out of shape?”

“God forbid,” you gasped, playfully jabbing at his firm abs with a mitt-covered hand. “I’m just saying, your super metabolism is compensating for a lot of booze and Taco Bell.”

Ben rose a brow at your cheekiness. He drew closer behind you, trapping you against the counter with one hand braced on the edge, and the other sliding up your jean-clad hip. 

“You’ve got some nerve. I don’t talk shit about the stash of Twix bars in your nightstand, do I?” he remarked. He nipped at your ear, making you flinch and giggle. His beard was also tickling your neck. 

“You’re peeping in my nightstand now? How dare you,” you teased. He snorted in response. 

“Please. Your purple vibrator isn’t exactly a fucking mystery to me,” he retorted. You felt his smirk growing against your neck. “Might wanna keep it away from the chocolate though. That could get messy…unless you want it to be.” 

Your body shook with the effort of containing your laughter. He was so fucking gross.

“Don’t you need to check on the potatoes?” you asked. “I don’t want to have to pressure wash the balcony again.”

Ben made a sound of agreement, but was sure to swat you on the ass before he went. You jolted, but you just shook your head with a blush and a smile. 

It had been over a year since you and Ben had moved in together. Already you’d had your first fight as a true couple, your first Christmas, and so many other challenges, large and small, that had all come to solidify one thing for you.

You were happy. Maybe for the first time in your life. 

It just came with some…small caveats, you reflected, as you reached into the fridge to find the jar of aloe vera. Before you slathered some onto your hands, you realized they were no longer red, and they didn’t even sting anymore.

“What the hell?” you muttered. You put back the jar and rested a hand on your hip. 

Well, maybe you hadn’t burned yourself as bad as you thought. 

With that oddity still in your mind, you pulled on your oven mitts again and took up the casserole with the intention of bringing it to the dining table. Admittedly, you were a bit distracted. You didn’t remember about the raised ledge in the doorway to the dining room until it was too late.

You tripped, and though you managed to make it to the table, you gasped when you broke right through the wood. 

The table just seemed to give up when you hit it, cracking in half, and sending you tumbling to the floor with hot casserole heaped on top. You were still stunned when Ben tore back inside. His green eyes were wide, his brows furrowed as he took in the state of you on the floor with the broken table.

“What the hell happened?” he asked, though he bent down to help you up. He checked you for injuries, but both of you found nothing. 

“I’m okay,” you said, a bit shakily. “I tripped, that’s all.”

Ben’s brows raised as he looked from you to the shards of the table. He knocked on the wood surface. 

“Cheap piece of shit. Where’d you get this thing?” he asked. 

You flickered at a smile and admitted, “IKEA.”

Ben shook his head. “We really need to broaden your palate.”

You insisted you were all right. But he insisted, without words, on checking you over again. His hands brushed down your shoulders and arms, your hands and neck.

He held your face in his hands, and he let out a deep sigh. You just smiled up at him, though inside, you were hiding a bit of worry yourself. 

That table hadn’t been cheap. It was solid pine wood. 

But Ben seemed to believe you. He also seemed a bit exasperated. 

“I should just layer you up in goddamn bubble wrap. The way you find ways to break yourself is beyond me,” he muttered. Your lips pursed. 

“I resent that—”

“I’m sure you fucking do.”

“Besides,” you said, a smirk pulling at the corner of your mouth. “What a pain in the ass would it be to unwrap me?” 

Ben huffed, even as his hands traveled down to wrap around your waist and pull you in close. 

“True,” he smirked. “You’re already a pain in the ass as it is.” 

You opened your mouth to mount an indignant protest, but he shut you up the only surefire way he knew how. His kiss was swift, deep, and left you humming into his mouth in surprise. 

But you soon pulled back, brushing a thumb along his chin. “We’ve got to clean up this mess. And…did you get the potatoes?”

Ben thought for a moment, but then his mouth firmed into a line. 

“Shit,” he muttered, and released you to run back to the grill. 

That night, you stood barefooted in your nightgown and took a moment alone in the bathroom to breathe. And to think. And to test the strength in your hands, by bending one of Ben’s metal wrenches like it was a useless paper straw. 

Okay, now you were panicking a bit. 

What the fuck? you thought. You had only ever experienced super strength when you were on V24 (which you had not taken, let alone the permanent stuff). 

But…if you thought about it, there had been one other time when you had felt this strong. And it had been when you were in the hospital, almost two years ago, after Vought Tower collapsed. You’d needed a surgery you might not have lived through. It was Ben’s actions that had saved you…after he donated his blood.

Unless he was somehow giving you transfusions without you knowing, there was only one other possibility you could think of for Ben’s DNA to somehow be in your system…

Holy shit, you thought. And you sat down on the closed toilet. Hard. Enough to dislodge a decorative dish that was perched on a shelf behind you. You gasped, but weren’t able to catch it before it hit the ground loudly. You winced and picked it up, even as you heard Ben’s steps approaching the bathroom. 

“You okay?” he asked predictably, through the closed door.

“Fine!” you said, your voice too high. You cleared your throat and tried to normalize your voice. “I’m fine, just dropped something.”

“Christ. You going for a record today?” he remarked. 

You rolled your eyes. 

A few minutes later, you finished in the bathroom and tried to act as normal as possible as you slid into bed next to your boyfriend. He was watching TV, but he glanced over at you. You knew he was silently assessing you, seeing if you were really okay. 

You gave him a smile and leaned over for a goodnight kiss. You attempted to be chaste, but he deepened it. He slid an arm around your waist and tilted his head, slipping his tongue between the seam of your lips. 

You welcomed him at first…but a tremor of warning flashed in your mind, along with the persistent thought that had followed you from the bathroom.

Should I tell him? 

You didn’t know why your inclination was to hold it in. There very well could be something wrong with you. But if your suspicions were true, then you wanted confirmation first. 

“What’s the matter?” Ben asked. He’d pulled back, sensing your distraction. You came back to yourself.

“Nothing, just tired,” you said, stroking his chest over his shirt. 

Ben looked into your eyes, his face more or less stoic. You saw the way he was trying to get a read on you though, like he didn’t quite believe you. You couldn’t blame him, but you could be very convincing when you needed to be.

He eventually nodded, letting you turn away from him to slip under the covers. Even though you felt the sting of your lie tingling unpleasantly down your spine. 

You met Dr. Tonya Baker at her office in the Supe Affairs building. She’d been Vought’s top scientist, up until last year. After Stan Edgar’s death and the company’s collapse, the CIA recruited Dr. Baker. 

You didn’t like her. Nor did you trust her, exactly, but she had assisted Dr. Vogelbaum when Becca Butcher came to him with a unique problem. Now, Dr. Baker was the only one left with the knowledge and resources to advise you.

And she was able to confirm your suspicions. She came back with lab results while you sat up on an examining table. 

“You’re eleven weeks pregnant,” she informed you. 

Even though you’d been somewhat expecting it, suspicion and knowing were very different things. You took in a shaking breath, and through your shock, you were smiling. Happy, and even relieved.

Until Dr. Baker spoke again. 

“The super strength is probably temporary. A side effect of the fetus’s genetics. But, it’s also advantageous for you,” she said, adjusting her glasses. “This makes it much more likely that you’ll survive the birth.”

Your breath ceased at that thought, not to mention her clinical delivery. 

“Always with that delightful bedside manner, Doctor,” you quipped. All of a sudden, you were feeling lightheaded. 

Or maybe you were just freaking the fuck out. 

When you got home that evening after work, Ben watched you. 

He knew something was off with you the second you walked through the door, pale and pensive. Still, you flashed him a greeting and a smile that didn’t reach your eyes on your way to the bedroom. 

So he followed you. And the fact that you didn’t even notice, even flinched when he dropped a hand on your shoulder, told him that you were more than just distracted. The last straw was when you walked into the dresser while glancing back at him. You hissed and shook out your sandle-clad foot. 

Now, you were injury prone at the best of times, but this was a bit much, Ben thought. 

“Geez, I didn’t even hear you,” you said, trying at a chuckle. “Normally you thud around in those combat boots like an elephant. We’re lucky no one lives below us—”

“What’s the matter with you?” Ben asked. He was never one to beat around the bush. 

Your eyes widened a fraction; unease crept down your spine, but you gave him a quirk of your brow. 

“Excuse me?” 

“You fucking heard me,” he said. His gaze was hunter green, serious, and focused down on you.

“I’m fine, Ben—”

“No,” he snapped. “There’s something off with you.” 

You bit your lower lip. It seemed your boyfriend knew you better than you thought. You’d had a plan though. You had wanted to wait until you had a moment to shake off your anxiety and focus on the good when you sat him down this evening.

But you should’ve known better. Ben was remarkably impatient, even when he didn’t know what he was in for. 

And he got tired of waiting for your answer. 

He changed tactics, reaching for your arms. His grip was firm, but gentle in brushing his thumbs back and forth across your skin. His mouth was in a line, and you caught the concern hiding under his furrowed brows. 

“What’s so bad you can’t tell me?” he asked. 

You looked up into his eyes. Despite yourself, you had to smile. I’m not playing fair, you realized. 

“Okay, come ‘ere,” you said. You took his hand and led him to sit with you on the bed. Pulling his hand between both of yours into your lap, you sighed and thought about how you were going to say this. 

After a moment, you got a burst of inspiration. You held up a waiting finger to him and went into the closet to pull out one of your 25-pound hand weights. It might as well have weighed a pound, for how light it felt. You brought it back to the bed, and Ben stared back at you quizzically. 

“So…I didn’t get that table from IKEA,” you confessed. “It was solid wood, and I really did break straight through it.”

He rose a brow. “All right…”

You then showed him your newfound strength, by breaking the hand weight in half with your bare hands. His eyes widened, making you giggle a bit. You deposited both metal heads into his hands. He considered them, then you. His brows were knitting together even tighter. 

“What the hell—”

“Remember when you donated blood for me, when I was laid up in the hospital a couple years ago?” you asked. “I got your super strength for a day or two afterwards.”

Ben nodded. You had been a bit more than laid up, but semantics, he guessed. He was getting more confused by the moment. 

“Well this time, I’m told it’s also temporary…for the next seven months or so,” you said with a playful smile. 

Ben considered your words. He turned them back and forth in his head… 

Finally, his gaze flicked from yours to the broken weights in his hands. And he tossed them to the floor with a heavy thud on the hard wood. 

You giggled in earnest when he reached for your face with both hands. His eyes searched yours for any hint of a joke, his jaw tight and working. 

“Are you fucking with me right now?” he asked. His voice was a hint unsteady. You smiled bright and covered his hands with your own as the beginnings of tears stung in your eyes. 

“Not this time,” you said. “Ben, I’m pregnant.” 

It took him a moment to register your words. You saw the moment it all finally set in, with new realization etching into his features.

Never once had you seen this man tear up. He turned his face away, but you still caught the edges of his emotion. 

You reached for his bearded cheek, turning him back to you. His eyes were red and starting to shine, even though he was fighting it. A muscle in his jaw clenched, and then eased.

After a beat, his hands moved down from your face to brush down your arms, down your sides and around your frame. He pulled you into his lap, for which you went willingly into his arms. And your tears fell in earnest when he pressed a kiss to your forehead.

You knew what this meant to him, but you still couldn’t help but prod at him.

“Are you happy?” you teased, rubbing his back. Ben huffed and brushed a strand of hair out of your eyes. 

“What do you think?” he countered.  

Your hand moved down to slip under his shirt, gliding over the taut muscles in his back as they responded to your touch. You met him with a small smirk. 

“Show me,” you challenged. 

His lips quirked; that was all the encouragement he needed. Ben’s hands moved to tangle in your hair and squeeze the curve of your waist, bringing you flush against him when he kissed you. You inhaled deeply. Your nails dragged up his back, applying some pressure that made his shoulders twitch. 

You didn’t know what your newfound strength felt like to him, but for Ben, you felt solid in a way you hadn’t before. He could let go of some of his self-control and knead your hips with a force beyond bruising.

He could veer away from your lips and raze down your neck, and give your shoulder a love bite that would’ve drawn blood. Now it didn’t even break your skin. It did, however, earn him a pleased gasp. 

Maybe he’d just have to keep knocking you up, he thought. So you’d always be this strong.  

You started rucking up his shirt first, and had to push him back to even get it off him. After that, all bets were off.

It was a mad scramble to shed each other’s clothes, with Ben not being able to get away with his usual manhandling. Your smile grew, as you now had the strength to literally push back and make him work a bit harder for it.  

He smirked up at you when you managed to take him by surprise and push him back onto the bed. You’d successfully bared him for your gaze, but you still had your bra and panties on as you climbed over him and straddled his lap. 

Ben held himself up with a hand on the bed as the other slid around your waist and hooked you in. You took his face in your hands and gave him the full force of your passion.

Your lips claimed his in a devouring kiss, teeth clicking and tongues dueling for dominance. And you ground down your clothed core against his rising length, earning his groan of appreciation into your mouth.

With a flick of his wrist, your bra strap snapped off in the back. You huffed, knowing he’d probably broken the clasp.

Ah well, I’m about to need new ones soon enough.

The thought made you smile against his lips. You let him pull the bra down your arms and wherever he decided to fling it off to. You thought he might start traveling down between your breasts, as was a favorite path of his to map out.

But then, in one smooth motion Ben had you flipped over onto your back. He grinned at your yelp of surprise, but he didn’t give you a chance to recover. He latched onto your neck again, this time on the other side as he scraped his beard and teeth across your skin.

Meanwhile, you moaned encouragements in his ear while his heavy hand squeezed one of your breasts, rolled a thumb over a pert nipple. 

You trailed your hands down his chest, soothing over golden tan skin and freckles and sculpted muscle until you reached his hard length. You earned a straining grunt from your man as you teased the sensitive flesh, a thumb circling over its weeping head. 

Ben grabbed your wrist and gave you a warning look. “Can’t let me fucking concentrate, huh?”

You just grinned and took his hand instead. You dragged it down your body until you guided his fingers into your underwear, between your wet folds. 

“Ben, I need you,” you said. But your need was already in your eyes. Your skin was on fire wherever he touched, and deep inside, where you burned for him most. 

Ben felt it in your iron grip on his hand, now almost as strong as his own. Your legs curled up his thighs to wrap around his hips, teasing him with the soft promise between your inner thighs. So how could he do anything else but give you what you wanted? 

He teased between your folds with his fingers first. Gathering some of your wetness, he circled over your clit firmly. You whimpered as your back arched in response. 

“Gonna sing for me, baby doll?” he teased. Your breathing became more labored as his fingers continued to play with you, but you managed to offer a small smirk. 

“You gonna make me?” you asked. “Think you need to bring out the big guns for that one.”

Ben chuckled. As usual, you were being a little shit. 

So he brought you to the edge of your release, just with his fingers. You were starting to squeeze them tight with your inner walls, your moans getting more urgent. But he withdrew his digits at the last moment, leaving you panting and confused.

“What…”

He smirked down at you and wrapped his slick fingers around his cock, stroking himself a few times. You watched him with expectant, hungry eyes.  

“You want the big guns, I’ll fucking give ‘em to you,” he said. It made you huff, but you had to smile as he returned to you. He hooked his fingers on the hem of your panties and slowly, torturous, he pulled them down your legs.

Those same hands then traveled back up, gliding across your skin with purpose. Your breath shallowed in anticipation.

He eventually gripped your hips, pushing your thighs up a bit farther, and you lined his cock to your entrance. Your heels dug into his ass and added a bit of force when he pushed inside you. And your moans tangled together along with your bodies.

You fairly pulsed inside, and he felt it in your inner walls wrapped so fucking tight around him. His forehead briefly fell to your shoulder. Even though you were panting for breath, you still soothed him, carding your fingers through his hair. 

Normally he’d be going off at a relentless clip by now. But Ben started slow, rolling his hips back and forth into yours at a steady rhythm that managed to take your breath away and make your toes curl.

His name fell from your lips, reverent and pleased. You felt every part of him as he plunged inside you, and it was incredibly fucking hot.  

He took a moment to meet your eyes. He gave you a grin that softened the hard edges that so often lined his face in times like this. And you realized then what was happening.

Ben didn’t do slow. Not for long anyway. But it seemed like he’d taken your challenge to heart. In fact, you had a feeling he was showing you what he couldn’t quite put into words. 

When he reached a hand to part your folds and circle two insistent finger pads around your clit, you couldn’t help but grip his arms tight enough to bruise him. Your mouth opened on a keening moan.

Combined with his deep strokes starting to brush all the right spots inside you, it had you squeezing on him from the inside as you came hard, and made it known in his ear.

“Fuck—” Ben’s brows furrowed as your release finally triggered his own. And his voice joined yours, muffling in the pillow under your head. You shuddered as he spilled deep inside you. 

Your arms came around his back and held him to you for a moment afterwards, just stroking his back, his shoulders, his neck, whatever you could reach while you both caught your breath.

Eventually, Ben’s lips found your neck. You felt the shape of his smile grow there. 

“Too bad you’re already knocked up, or that could’ve been a great way to bring in our second kid,” he remarked.

This time, it took a second for his words to click together in your mind. As soon as they did, you uttered a laugh that shook both of your frames. You swatted his ass in reproach. He smirked down at you.

“I can't with you,” you said. Though you were still giggling. “You’re just gonna have to wait for the first one to come out of the oven.” 

Ben’s smirk evened out into a grin, his face almost boyish in his glee.

“Well, what can I say, baby? You’re a damn good cook.”  

AN: 😂 Well then. What did you think of how she broke the news? And Ben's reaction to finding out he's finally going to be a dad? 🥹

But of course, it's not going to be all sunshine and roses in Part 2. The reader and Ben reveal the good news to her family, and as we all know, he's hoping for a son...

Next Time:

“Hey,” she said. “You know how much I care about you, right?”

“And where’s this going?” you quipped. But you turned around and gave your little sister a half-smile. You knew what she was about to say.

“So what are you going to do about that?” she asked, gesturing to your man in the kitchen. “Mr. Macho wants his prized stud. What happens if he doesn’t get him?”

You sighed. “Ben’s wanted this for a long time. He’s got an idea in his head of what it’s going to be like, and…we’ll cross that bridge when we get there.”

Keep reading: PART 2

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[inky-writing]

Edward x Adhd reader where he gets so overwhelmed by all of their thoughts and he's just like "you live like this?!" Lol

Hiiii, it took me some time, I really hope you will like it <3

Edward Cullen x ADHD!Reader

Warnings: i am not familiar with adhd so I might have wrote it badly, I had some difficulties with this request :'), maybe some typos, english is not my first langage, ADHD, ...

Word count: 910

You live like this?!

Edward Cullen had always thought of his telepathy as both a blessing and a curse. He could read thoughts at will, navigate social situations more easily, and even protect his family from danger. But when it came to humans, especially the one human who somehow meant everything to him, it was an entirely different matter.

Y/N L/N had wandered into Edward’s life with a chaotic, bright energy that upended everything he thought he knew about himself. She was his mate, his match in every way, yet she was also the most puzzling person he had ever encountered. It wasn’t just her quirky humor or her refusal to treat him like some unattainable vampire god; no, what truly confounded Edward was the storm of thoughts inside her head.

And that storm was relentless.

Edward had long ago learned to tune out the dull hum of human minds, but Y/N? Oh no, he couldn’t tune her out if he tried. It was like stepping into a whirlwind, thoughts spinning at the speed of light, ping-ponging from topic to topic with no discernible pattern. One moment, she’d be silently reciting the lyrics to a song, and the next, she’d be internally debating the merits of grilled cheese versus peanut butter sandwiches as if it were the most important decision of her life.

At first, Edward thought it was endearing. Her mind was vibrant, alive in a way that contrasted sharply with his own still, unchanging existence. But as the weeks went on, Edward began to realize that her thoughts weren’t just chaotic, they were exhausting.

Edward and Y/N sat in the meadow together, sunlight dappling through the trees as Y/N leaned back into Edward’s chest, humming softly to herself. For once, her mind seemed relatively quiet, and Edward allowed himself to relax, enjoying the moment of peace.

That peace, however, didn’t last.

“What if ladybugs have existential crises? What if they’re like, ‘What’s my purpose?’ and then they realize they’re just here to crawl on leaves and look cute? Oh no, what if I stepped on one by accident? Do you think they hate humans?... How do ladybugs even reproduce?!”

Edward blinked, startled out of his reverie as Y/N’s thoughts burst into his mind like an exploding firework.

“What—”

“Reproduction! That’s such a weird word. Why do humans even use it? It’s like, ‘re-produce’? Produce again? Wait, wait, does that mean if you’re a vampire, you don’t—”

“Y/N!” Edward interrupted, his voice half-laughing, half-exasperated.

She turned her head to look up at him, her eyes wide with curiosity. “What?”

“Do you ever stop thinking?” he asked, his tone teetering between astonishment and amusement.

Y/N tilted her head, considering the question. “Not really. Why?”

Edward groaned softly and pinched the bridge of his nose. “Because I can hear all of it.”

That night, the two of them were sitting in the Cullen family living room. Y/N was nestled in Edward’s lap, idly fidgeting with the hem of her sleeve. The rest of the Cullens were out hunting, leaving them alone in the grand, quiet house.

Edward tried to read a book, but Y/N’s thoughts were unusually loud tonight.

“I wonder what Alice is doing right now. Do you think she hunts deer? Or rabbits? Do vampires even care about meat texture? Like, do deer taste better than mountain lions? Oh my God, I’m starving. Should I get pizza after this? Or tacos? I could make a frozen pizza, but then I’d have to preheat the oven, and that takes forever—”

“Y/N,” Edward said, setting his book aside and giving her a pointed look.

“What?” she asked, blinking at him innocently.

“You’re thinking about pizza,” he said flatly.

“So?”

“Do you realize you’ve thought about at least fifty different topics in the past five minutes?”

Y/N grinned. “That’s… probably true.”

Edward shook his head, exhaling a breath he didn’t need. “How do you even function like this?!”

“Like what?”

“Like this!” He gestured vaguely, as if trying to encompass the entirety of her existence. “Your thoughts... they’re everywhere. Constant. Chaotic. I feel like I’m drowning in them.”

Y/N frowned, her brows furrowing. “Well, yeah. That’s just how my brain works.”

Edward stared at her, his golden eyes wide with disbelief. “You live like this? Every day?”

She shrugged. “Pretty much. Welcome to my brain, babe.”

Edward had heard of ADHD before, of course. But experiencing it firsthand through Y/N’s thoughts was an entirely different matter. He decided to do some research, poring over books and online articles to better understand it. The more he learned, the more he realized just how much she had to navigate every single day.

Her racing thoughts weren’t just random distractions, they were part of how she processed the world. And while they could be overwhelming, they also made her who she was: curious, passionate, and endlessly creative.

The next time Edward felt overwhelmed by Y/N’s mind, he didn’t groan or roll his eyes. Instead, he reached for her hand and gently pressed a kiss to her knuckles.

“Hey,” she said, looking up at him with a shy smile. “What was that for?”

“For being you,” he said simply.

Y/N beamed, her thoughts momentarily quiet as a wave of affection washed over her.

Edward still didn’t entirely understand what it was like to live with ADHD, but he was determined to try. Because Y/N was his mate, his love, his everything, and if she could handle the storm inside her mind every day, then he could learn to navigate it too.

Even if it meant occasionally hearing about existential ladybugs.

[writing-fanics]

rambunctious[part i]

Jaime Reyes x F!Reader

Rosa Alejandra L/n-Reyes, one year old, time having went by so fast. She’s a adorable rambunctious babbling and talkative baby. Despite her only knowing, ‘mama’ ‘dada’ ‘bye bye’. Other than that she wakes around wobbling on her little feet.

Walking around the Reyes household catching everyone’s attention at how adorable she is. Watching as she walks around with her tiny legs, or she starts playing with her toys in the living room.

“Rosa~ are you excited to see daddy today!” [Y/n] cooed, as she walked over towards her daughter sitting on the ground playing with her toys. She turned to look at her mother, “Dada!” She exclaimed excitedly, clapping her hands and reaching out towards her mother.

She picked her up kissing her little girl on the cheek. While the Reyes’ pulled into Rudy’s Truck. [Y/n] opened the backseat of her car and placed her daughter into her car seat buckling her in, and making sure she’s secure. Before getting behind the wheel and driving towards the airport.

……

“Dada!!” Rosa shouted, reaching out for him. Jaime excitedly dropped everything and smiled, “There’s Mi princesita,” He exclaimed, taking her from his girlfriend’s arm and kissing her on the cheek and playfully tickling her.

“I’ve missed you so much.” He said, and [Y/N] watched folding her arms across her chest. “Yeah I missed you too,” She said to him. He immediately looked up walked over to her and wrapped his arms around her, planting a kiss on the side of her head. “I missed you too mi amor,” he whispered to her, she smiled pulling back planting a quick kiss on his lips.

“Dada!” Rosa shouted placing her hands on her fathers face. Giggling causing Jaime to chuckle. As he took his girlfriend’s hand and walked towards the car.

Jaime decided to ride with his daughter and girlfriend. Sitting in the back with his daughter who gave him a show. “You’re getting so big Rosa,” He exclaimed, looking at his daughter she giggled.

Babbling acting like she’s having a conversation with her father, “No, really?”

“Oh no!”

“Y/n,are you hearing what I’m hearing?”

She chuckled, “I sure am.” She responded looking up at the mirror for a moment. Keeping her eyes on the road as they drove towards the taco restaurant. “oh, I think Rosa pooped her pants.” Jaime said, smiling as he booped his daughter tiny nose.

“Poop.” Rosa said, bursting out into laughter. “She’s definitely your daughter.” [Y/n] said, to Jaime.

After changing her diaper and ordering their food. Rosa squealed at how delicious her food was, as she at the chopped up beef.

She looked at her father curiously as he ate his taco. He turned towards her smiling and made a goofy face, causing her to laugh. She then immediately went back to eating her food, grabbing her sippy cup and drinking her watered down apple juice.

“Wow, you must’ve been hungry.” [Y/n] said, looking at her daughter who frowned at her finished plate. Sill hungry, for such a tiny human with a tiny stomach she sure does have a big appetite.

“Okay okay, here you can finish mommy’s food.” She said, cutting up what little was left of her food giving it to her daughter. She babbled excitedly, grabbing the food with her hands and shoving it into her mouth.

“Okay he’s had his tacos.” Milagro said, wanting to finally break the ice on everything that the family had been keeping from Jaime. Jaime was confused as everything was dumped onto him. The auto shop having closed, his dad heartattack, they are about to lose the house.

_____time skip____

‘Sun goes down and we are here together’

‘Fireflies glow like a thousand charms’

[Y/n] sang quietly while rocking her daughter to sleep in her arms. Her daughter absolutely loved it when she sang songs from her childhood. Particularly Barbie as The Island Princess, whenever she put it on she would clap her hands and laugh excitedly.

“Stay with me and you can dream forever”

“Right here in my arms tonight”

She looked out the window while rocking her to sleep, and she continued to fuss. She always had trouble sleeping meaning extra time for her to try and get her to fall asleep. In all honesty , she wished Jaime were down her to help her fall asleep so she could get her much needed break.

But with everything he’s now stressed out about after it was all dumped on him after returning. He needed some time to think on how he was possibly going to help out his family.

Rosa opened her eyes unable to fall asleep, her mother quickly shushed her in a soothing voice. Carefully rubbing her back while quietly humming the song.

“It's magic when you are here beside me”

“Close your eyes and let me hold you tight”

Rosa whimpered and her mother at down on Jaime’s bed. Continuing to sooth their daughter, “Shh Shh, it’s okay sweetie.” She soothed, as she continued to hum while looking out the window at the bright lights of the skylines and skyscrapers.

She looked down at Rosa who started to nod off, she smiled softly placing a kiss on her forehead. Gently running her fingers through her black curls, before standing up walking towards the crib crammed into the tiny corner of the room.

“Everything that I could ever need is”

“Right here in my arms tonight”

She sang, gently placing her in her crib before slowly backing out of the room. “La la la, la la la.” She whispered, while turning off the light and turning on the battery operated night light and lullaby player.

a/n: sorry for the abrupt end

[anna-the-undertaker]

Nightmares and Nonsense

This is based on this post. I came up with that idea during one of my insomnia induced sleepless nights. I want to give special thanks to @anunholyabomination for inspiring me with the sheer hilarity of their comment on that post. So this is for you lmao additional tags: @leilakaro @sheep-from-rad

Belphegor's nights were an exercise in futility and simmering rage. Confined within the attic's gloomy walls, his disdain for humans stewed alongside a relentless boredom. The appearance of the human exchange student only served to ignite his contempt further. Yet, a mischievous part of him, the part that delighted in the subtle arts of manipulation and control, saw an opportunity in this unsuspecting human's arrival.

He discovered their dreaming mind by pure coincidence. While wandering the endless expanse of his own subconscious, a new dreamscape overlapped his, leaving Belphie adrift and puzzled. As a demon deeply acquainted with the nuances of sleep and dreams, he rarely encountered a dreamscape that could surprise him—at least he thought none of them could.

The dream before him was vivid, an intricately woven tapestry of colors and sensations that resonated with an unfamiliar yet undeniably human energy. He moved through it with the ease of a shadow, unseen and unnoticed, until he sensed a shift—a ripple of awareness that prickled at the edges of his consciousness.

Turning towards the source, he realized it was the human, and tried to get closer, intrigued by their control and clarity, and eager to exploit this opportunity. But before he could get any closer, a voice, clear and authoritative, cut through the dream’s fabric.

“Did I give you permission to come here?” The voice was neither hostile nor welcoming, carrying a tone of nonchalant power that Belphie wasn't used to being subjected to.

Startled, Belphie had barely a moment to register the dismissal before he was forcibly ejected from the dreamscape. He woke with a gasp, the abrupt return to his own consciousness leaving him disoriented and a single thought crossed his mind, “What the fuck…”

The encounter, however brief, sparked an obsession in Belphie. Night after night, he tried to re-enter the human's subconscious realm. Each attempt, however, ended more ludicrously than the last. The human didn’t just eject him but began to twist his appearances into increasingly absurd scenarios.

One night, he found himself manifested at the edge of a surreal circus. No sooner had he entered he was transformed—his dignified demonic form altered into that of a clown, complete with oversized shoes and a garish red nose. Before he could react, an imposing figure that his dream-altered mind couldn't recognize appeared, tall, bearded and dressed in top hat and singlet, shoving tacos into his mouth while shouting about something called Reese’s Puffs. In the background, aliens, decked out like gangsters, were busy robbing some place called a Chuck E. Cheese, stuffing their bags with what they loudly declared to be diamonds.

Another attempt saw him materialize in a dream-designed version of the wild west, where he was immediately put on a horse that had a mind of its own. As he struggled to maintain his balance, dream-created characters pelted him with bizarre questions about quantum physics—a subject he had no knowledge of, much less in his sleep. The absurdity peaked when the horse decided to join in the conversation, offering insights in a surprisingly sophisticated British accent.

At some point he was a fearsome pirate aboard a sinking ship, desperately trying to scare MC with threats of walking the plank, only to have the scene dissolve into a bizarre beach party where MC forced him to participate in a limbo contest. The dream characters cheered on, including the tall man from before who inexplicably acted as the DJ, blasting 80s pop hits.

And again, he was a villain in a medieval setting, ready to lay siege to a castle. Just as he began his threatening monologue, the scene shifted, turning him into a court jester reciting Shakespearean insults while juggling tomatoes. MC, dressed as the ruler, laughed from their throne, utterly unfazed by his supposed menace.

The indignity of it was almost too much, and he had withdrawn with a seething anger, masked by a forced calm. Yet, Belphie couldn't help but admire the human's deft control over their dreams. It was an ability he hadn't anticipated, one that both infuriated and intrigued him.

After numerous humiliations, Belphie's approach shifted. Perhaps he could weave himself into their subconscious as a constant, albeit ridiculous, presence. Allowing the human to get used to him would make it easier to manipulate them later, but that meant going along with their little game. He knew there would be no way to hide that he was a demon, but that was just a small change to his growing plan. Gradually, his intrusions became less about domination and more about persistence.

Finally, the human seemed to tire of crafting bizarre punishments. Belphie found himself simply present in the dreams, no longer transformed or tormented. He was just another character in the ever-changing tapestry of the human's dream world. This sudden normalcy felt like a cold truce, and while part of him was relieved, another part—a dark, vengeful slice of his soul—simmered with unresolved anger.

When they eventually met in person, the attic's dusty gloom illuminated by the intrusion of this peculiar human, Belphie’s feelings were a complex web of grudging respect, lingering disdain, and a peculiar curiosity.

“You,” Belphie greeted, his voice cool but laced with an undercurrent of amusement and annoyance. “Quite the dream weaver, aren’t you?”

The human's grin was all too knowing, their eyes sparkling with mischief. “Had to keep things interesting. You demons take yourselves so seriously.”

Belphie scoffed, crossing his arms as he leaned back against the wall. “You have no idea what you’re meddling with, human.”

“Maybe,” They conceded with a shrug, their confidence unshaken. “But I think I can handle it. Can you say the same?”

The challenge hung between them, and despite everything, Belphie found himself intrigued. Here was a human, capable of turning nightmares into farce, of standing toe-to-toe with a demon in the battlefield of dreams. As much as he hated to admit it, this might prove more interesting than he’d anticipated.

And, of course, he could find a way to use this to his advantage after all.

[tojisun]

you on my lips

avatar!jake sully x fem human!reader

!! smut - minors dni; size kink; fingering; thigh fucking (central ‘plot’ point); hinted age gap; so much petnames; no actual penetration sorry about that teehee // 2.7k words

: a1 jake is making ‘notha appearance because i luv him so much; i genuinely forgot that avatars cant breathe human air or smthn so i may have fucked up the setting so ignore that; just jake being so in love with you n fucking ur thighs <333 hope u guys would like this!!; title is from taco truck - lana

jake presses your bare legs together, watching the way your plush flesh dimple at his touch, before folding them to your front, quiet hums of praises rolling off his lips when you follow his lead, your tensed legs turning into jelly – so malleable to his touch. 

you press your face on the inside of your arm, avoiding his eyes, feeling shy at how easily he could manhandle you. you feel so exposed like this; so vulnerable in his arms. he is so much bigger than you now, so much stronger. there is a pooling desire expanding in the pit of your stomach at the realization, overwhelming all of your senses, because you love this.

you love the feeling of being helpless in his arms; the feeling of having someone be in control of yourself – your desires, your pleasure, your body. 

a quiet whimper makes it past your lips and it is too humiliating to acknowledge because jake has yet to even do anything but here you are, a weeping wreck of crazed arousal. you are sure that with his new heightened senses, he could probably smell the want rolling off of you. 

you hear jake click his tongue. “don’t hide from me, sweetheart.”

you shake your head, your breath hitching when jake presses close, his pelvis rutting against your ass. even through your lace panties and jake’s loincloth, you can already feel his erect cock, hard and heavy and long. you bite off a pleading sigh that threatens to spill from your lips, still feeling shy at having your body contorted to jake’s command. 

you jump when a resounding smack lands on the back of your thigh, your skin stinging from the sudden slap.

“jake!” you cry, looking at him with a pout and a feeble glare. 

jake just grins at you anyway. “finally looking at me?” he rubs at your stinging skin, offering comfort.

you sniff, wanting to look away again just to spite him, but jake looks so beautiful, you are sure that not even eywa can force you to look away from him. 

he is tall and blue and distinctly not a human, but god you can still see the man you’ve loved in this new body he is gifted with. the same smirk, the same lilting voice teasing you without any rest, the same curious eyes.

“what’s got you so distracted, kid?” he asks, his palms kneading the back of your thighs, flicking his gaze between your supple skin and your glinting eyes, looking so enamoured with your smaller being. 

“you,” you whisper, blinking at him. “always you.”

your quiet admission has him inhaling sharply, his teasing touches pausing like he didn’t expect your honesty. 

“yeah?” he murmurs, his gaze focusing on you, pools of amber shining with untapped ferocity. 

you nod, beginning to fidget with your shirt, feeling breathless at the sinking notion that this na’vi warrior before you has successfully caught his prey. 

slowly, like he doesn’t want to spook you, jake’s hands trail lower down the back of your thighs, his thicker and longer fingers teasing the hems of your panties. you bite your bottom lip, anticipation coursing through you, holding your breath when he finally tugs them down, letting them pool around your squeezed thighs.

you whimper as the cool air hits your damp pussy, your tender skin is so sensitive that you can already feel yourself twitching, your clit slowly hardening. jake’s eyes immediately fall to your cunt, amber pupils dilating in hunger, spelling danger. 

delicious danger.

“you smell so good, baby,” jake murmurs, his voice is quiet and rumbling, almost like he is afraid of breaking the mood that is building between you two. 

you choke on your whine but jake doesn’t seem to notice, still enraptured by your cunt; you watch the way his ears flatten onto his skull, his tail thrashing behind him in excitement. you are glad that you have this effect on jake, but you are feeling so desperate. so needy. 

you need him, anything he has to give – his touch, his love. 

“jake, please,” you say, your cheeks burning when he flicks his eyes back to you. 

“shit, yeah,” he replies in a rush, hiking your panties higher from your thighs, to your legs, until he is throwing them somewhere behind him. “need me bad, don’t you, baby?”

you nod, not knowing what else to say, not truly trusting yourself with any more words, afraid that if you were to open your mouth you would just end up whining for his cock. 

jake presses your legs close and folds them to your chest again. one of his hands reaches out to cup your face, rubbing soothing nothings along your cheek, before he is bending down to kiss you.

the kiss is messy, filthy, jake’s wider tongue is forced into your mouth and you moan, not used to the feeling. he lets go of your cheek, warm palm tickling your neck before drifting into the space between you two, teasing touches making you tremble, before he’s finally reached your pussy.

the first touch of his fingers has you keening, the sound reverberating in the kiss and being engulfed whole by jake. you turn your head away, the kiss breaking, as you struggle to breathe properly amidst jake’s teasing touches on your hardened clit. 

“shh,” jake whispers, nosing along your neck. “i’ve barely touched you but look at you squirming.” a satisfied growl ripples from his throat, the sound causing goosebumps to rise along your skin.

“god i missed this – missed you,” he murmurs, two of his fingers playing with your folds, pushing them apart before another finally presses in, sinking knuckle deep.

you choke at how further he can reach into you, your lungs constricting at the feeling. it’s foreign. different. but it’s so damn good.

jake crooks his finger, pressing along your walls, before he’s pulling out and thrusting in again.

“jake,” you sigh. “missed you too.” you are elated at finally being touched but you also know it is not enough. 

you feel his grin on your neck before he’s pulling up to look at you fully. “you’re so beautiful, kid.”

you couldn’t even reply before jake’s adding another finger, the stretch making you gasp, your body jolting in surprise. his fingers aren’t just long, they’re also thicker now, and two of jake’s na’vi fingers easily feel like three. 

you keen, your body trembling at the edging pleasure – they feel too much and not enough at the same time. 

“shit, baby, you just clamped down on me.” he chuckles amidst his fingers curling in your pussy, gliding along your walls with familiarity. “what’d i give to feel this around my cock right now.”

the reminder of jake’s cock has you keening; want and need thrumming along your veins. 

“want that!” you sob, your voice barely even louder than the wet sounds of jake bullying his fingers in your tiny pussy. 

jake clicks his tongue, shaking his head, some of his braids falling from his hair tie to frame the sharp edges of his face. “we can’t, baby girl. no proper lube – you’ll get hurt.” a whine rumbles from his throat like the thought alone hurts him. “don’t want t’hurt you, baby. never.”

you sniffle, nodding even amidst the disappointment coursing through you. “s’okay,” you say. “love you.”

jake smiles, his hand pausing, ripping a disgruntled groan from you, but his ears flick in attention and his tail sways happily anyway. “i love you too.”

you reach a hand to wrap around jake’s wrist, seeing how little you could cover with your palm, before you flick your eyes at him. “more, jake, please. ‘m close.”

jake’s nose twitches, his head dipping to the side in thought. you almost groan and punch him, impatience slowly overpowering the remaining echoes of pleasure thrumming in you, but jake is already moving before you could. wordlessly, he pulls his fingers from your wet cunt and immediately begins to rip his loincloth from his hips.

you know he’s big but nothing could still prepare you for jake’s fully-hard cock, your gasp being engulfed by the low moan that reverberated from the base of his throat. you watch as he continues to touch himself, your chest burning when you realized that he’s using the same hand that had been fucking you.

the sight of jake’s eyes furrowed close, his face warping in pleasure as he continues to fuck his fist, has you clenching on nothing. the reminder angers you, seeing jake being unfair – you haven’t even cum. 

“jake, me too. i wanna feel good too,” you say, sounding petulant even to your own ears. 

jake flicks his eyes to you, his smirk looking more like a snarl. “of course, sweetheart.” he grabs your legs again, pushing them back to your chest, exposing your cunt to him.

“can’t believe i can’t fuck this pretty thing,” he says, swiping a finger along your wet folds.

you hiss at the unexpected touch, glaring at him only for your heart to stutter and excitement to bloom right from the pit of your stomach when you see jake lining himself up between your thighs.

oh.  

“oh,” you repeat out loud, your eyes going wide, your lungs going breathless as a hammering desire flooded over you completely. 

jake hums, looking so animalistic in his excitement as his heated gaze rove over your body before climbing up to meet your eyes. “ain’t this perfect, kid?”

you nod, your bottom lip trapped between your teeth. jake watches, enthralled, when you let go of your spit-slicked lip. 

“very,” you murmur, and you watch as jake trembles at hearing your breathy whimper. 

look at what you do to him.

you watch with bated breath as jake lines himself between your legs. the tremors overtaking your body are just faint but you know he can see just how much you are anticipating this. 

there is something so intimately different with getting your thighs fucked. it feels unusual, odd, but the weight of jake’s cock sliding along your thighs and rutting just above your hardened nub feels too good. it’s a different type of pleasure, a different type of intimacy, but you react just as blissed out as though jake’s burying his cock in your cunt. 

you hiccup, knowing jake could feel the thrum of your arousal, feeding off of it as he continues to hump his cock between your thighs, running the underside of it along your wet folds. 

“jesus, kid,” he groans, his wide hands wrapped around your soft thighs, careful not to squeeze too hard even when he is overwhelmed with pleasure. “how could y’r thighs feel so good ‘round me?”

he grinds his cock along your folds again as he says this, bumping the head of his cock onto your nub, the muted pleasure making your back arch. jake pulls out only to repeat the slide, purposefully hitting your sensitive clit to coax muffled gasps out of you. 

“look at me,” he murmurs, reverence tinging his voice. “c’mon, kid. need t’see y’r pretty eyes.”

you blink up at him, trying to focus your gaze past your wet-clamped lashes to look at jake’s bigger body. he looks so good while he’s in the throes of pleasure: his lips are pulled in a snarl, his teeth gritted together to contain his growls. 

jake’s muscles ripple as he hoists your legs up, exerting effort to push them together after feeling the way you’ve turned putty in his hold, grunting in appreciation when he drives his cock along the meat of your thighs again. 

“there she is.” jake grins when your eyes finally focus on him. “y’should see how y’look, baby. so fucking beautiful. tiny. you could ruin me, y’know that kid?” 

you nod, your voice busy with whispered moans, feeling the ache of having been edged for so long slowly engulf you. 

“jake,” you sob, stretching your arms out to hold onto his wrists. “need more.”

jake curses, his stuttering thrusts returning with vigour. 

“i know baby,” he replies, folding himself over you to plant kisses along your throat. “jus’ gon come on these pretty thighs then i’ll take care of you, yeah?”

he sinks his teeth on the supple of your skin, tearing a startled moan out of you. a particularly rough thrust drags his cock along your cunt again, the wetness of your folds making for a smoother glide. and the sounds, god, it’s all so filthy.

jake detaches his teeth from your neck, running his tongue over the sensitive skin, enjoying just how deep the indents are. you tremble, feeling so lightheaded from the way jake is using you. 

because that’s just it, isn’t it? 

your body, all of it, is for jake’s pleasure. 

“jake!” you squeal, as if the knowledge of being his to use heightened the muted bliss centred on your wet folds. 

“i know, yawne, i know.” his words are murmured on your skin, the na’vi endearment making you jolt. 

yawne. yawne.

“your yawne,” you declare, your quiet voice gathering strength for this. 

you feel jake’s lips smile from where they are pressed on your skin. “yeah, sweetheart. my yawne. mine.”

he pulls himself up, kissing your shoulders, your knees, then your legs as he does so. you two are quiet as he begins to thrust harder, resounding thwap-thwap-thwaps echoing in the space between you two. your hushed whimpers are almost drowned out by jake’s low moans; his warm hands still gripping the flesh of your thighs. 

you reach a hand down to play with your clit, chasing a semblance of jake’s intense pleasure. you are quiet as you do so, but jake’s eyes still snap open, his intense gaze turning to watch you.

allured by his unwavering attention, you flick your nub with your fingers as though putting on a show for him. your chest heaves every time jake’s cockhead bumps with your hand, and he groans at the new feeling, his erratic thrusts turning faster, shorter, choppier. 

“‘m close, sweetheart,” jake utters, his voice ringing loud and startling you.

you peer at him through your lashes. “cum on me, please.”

you didn’t expect your words to finally push him into his orgasm but you watch as jake curses, his body freezing, his back bending forward, before spurts of cum spray between your thighs and to your stomach. 

“fuuuck, sweetheart,” jake moans, his eyes shut close to savour his orgasm. 

you watch as he heaves, breathy moans falling from his lips, before his eyes blink open; his pupils are blown wide, the ambers of his irises having turned into thin rings. you see the way his eyes are unseeing, still dazed out because of his orgasm. 

you giggle despite your delirium, dismissing him to swipe your fingers from your clit to your belly. jake turns, watching you dip your fingers to the splash of cum pooled on your stomach, his eyes dilated in interest when you pull your hand up to spread your fingers apart. his ears flick, ashamed at seeing his seed web around your fingers. 

“jesus, kid,” he says, shaking his head, sounding so winded amidst his disbelief. 

you grin at him as you wipe your hand on your shirt. “my turn, jake.”

jake returns your grin, his body going straight and his tail whipping in excitement. “of course, yawne,” he coos. “i didn’t forget.”

jake pulls his cock out, tiny shivers wracking his body at the overstimulation, before he inches away from you. you watch with bated breath as he bends down, pulling your legs apart as he does so, and dips his head low. 

he runs his tongue along his teeth, slowly and deliberately. your lips part for a gasp, excitement thrumming in your veins when you realized what jake’s planning to do. 

jake chuckles, shaking his head. “my smart yawne. be careful of my tswin, okay?”

you can only manage a nod, your voice fraying along with your mind. 

“good girl.” then, jake descends on you, his promise ringing in your head.

tagging as requested: @whats-belay <3

[tea-and-secrets]

dont wanna rush you mod but i need advice for real before tomorrow night

this is a long ramble im so high + freaking out + need advice so damn bad last night i got way too high drank one + a half bottles of cheap gross wine + ate way fucking too much taco bell + tried to suck my own cock + turns out i can get at the head im flexible af im a career poledancer + got hyper mobility bs + not to brag too much but my dicks too long to be near normal so thankfully i can reach + truly is a shame im strictly a bottom but put that side note aside for a sec ignore the cock brag im still too high i smoked way too much this morning + im hung over + freaking out but ignore it all 'cause that fuck ass $60 ish worth of taco bell i scarfed down half an hour before i started the blowing must have decided on violence 'cause tragedy unfolded right when i shot my load a second type of blowing attacked me i shat myself real bad like explosive diarrhea after being constipated for days it was kinda a relief feeling to my body to be honest but put it aside guys i shat massively right in my bed the pink stuffed cat my mom gave me when i came out as gay was a casualty im still grieving her genuinely rest in peace winnie i pray i can get you clean but thats beside the point + i was sitting there with my own cum all over my face + some in my hair + actual liquid shit on my thighs + sitting in a puddle of my own bodily waste but now my one and only bedsheet i own which is or i guess was cute as fuck all light colours with hello kitty patterns on it has a gigantic disgusting horrific huge brown stain with matching splatter stains all around it like the war crime of my mancunt is so damn obvious theres no possible way to mistake that stain for anything else + even though i sprinted to wash the sheet mere seconds after the flood ceased after i swiftly wiped my poor bottom half enough not to drip as i ran the stain wont fucking leave what do i do i have the hottest bear in the solar sytem coming over tomorrow night 7 pm we just went steady hes coming over to abuse my prostate til i cry + then cuddle my twink ass to sleep + only 6 dollars in my account + car broke down on thursday + no second hand stores i can walk or bus to so i cant get new sheets even for cheap + i could not stand to fucking cancel on him i love him so damn much + our work schedules mean we only see each other once a damn month or sometimes twice if god takes pity on his fags + im actually crying in anxiety i havent seen another human being irl face to face in 32 days i work from home + everyones busy i feel like im gonna die if i cant see the living work of art that is my boyfriend + i need that strap impaling me + i need those hairy tits smothering me half to death + i mean i doubt hed think less of me or leave me over anus disaster stains but id rather take a swim with cement shoes than embarrass myself in front of him + hed probably not want to fuck and cuddle me on the manhole blast stained hello kitty bedsheets i really wouldnt blame him + chat i for real think im starting to have a whole panic attack for the love of christ somebody help

.

[sailorsenshishitposter]

JJK X Disney Crossover

"You are hereby invited to the royal ball at the magic kingdom."

Cinderella read the note again. Surely this couldn't be right? Why would the king invite a lowly commoner like herself to such an extravagant event?

It turns out that Kenjaku had found Walt Disney's frozen corpse and hijacked it. Frankly, he was still bored and just looking for more people he could bring into the culling games. He was also forcing Sukuna to participate (how he got him to agree we shall never know).

Cinderella was too dazed to notice the ugliest step sister's approaching.

"What's that in your hand!?"

"Mother, Cinderella is stealing your mail!"

Out came a haggard old woman who looked like she got lost from the set of corpse bride.

"Wretched girl, let me see this!"

She snatched the envelope from the poor girls hands and read the contents aloud.

"Drizella, Anastasia, it turns out that the king has invited the two of you to a royal ball! I must prepare the two of you if you are to woo his son. Come along, we must find the perfect dresses for the two of you at once!"

She then turned towards her stepdaughter.

"If you clean the entire house I may entertain whatever stupid question it is that you are thinking. Now get started!"

Cinderella began scrubbing the floor but decided it would be better to scrub her ears first due to Drizella's god awful singing.

"Why couldn't the good lord make me deaf?" ______________

Cinderella noted that she had extra time left so she asked her animal friends if they could help her with her dress. There may have been rat droppings and bits of a birds breakfast in the finished product but she had to admit that it was nicer than the rags she was currently wearing. She then ran downstairs to find her stepmother.

"Mother, I have finished all the household chores."

"I thought I told you to never call me that!"

Lady Tremaine then stopped what she was doing and gave a sneer.

"What are you all dressed up for?"

"What do you mean? I thought you said that I could go?"

Her stepmother than snapped her fingers.

"Girls, do you think something seems familiar?"

One of the girls let out a scream.

"WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU ARE DOING WITH MY NECKLACE, WENTCH!? THIS IS A LUXURY SET OF PEARLS I GOT FROM CLAIRE'S!"

She then ripped them off. Looks like Drizella wasn't getting her $4.50 back.

"AND JUST WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH MY SASH! I'LL HAVE YOU KNOW THAT IT WAS MADE WITH THE FINEST SILK THEY HAD AVAILABLE ON ALIEXPRESS!"

Anastasia then tore it off which was easy since it was made by sweatshop workers who were no older than eight and had little sewing experience.

To add insult to injury, Lucifer then raised his hind leg and began to pee on the remaining fabic.

"Toodleloo, Cinderella! When I get back I expect you to have finished cleaning the toilets!"

"But I just cleaned them three hours ago!"

"Yes, well we stopped at taco bell on the way home and you know how well Anastasia takes to mexican food."

The door then shut and Cinderella began to sob. She didn't notice the card on the floor as her tears began to hit it and suddenly there was a burst of light.

"Who are you?"

Standing before her was a masked man in robes with white hair.

"Why sweetie, I'm your fairy godmother."

"Aren't you a boy?"

"And you're asking too many questions. Now do you want my help or not?"

Cinderella stopped sniffling.

"Help? How can you help me!?"

The man then took out a wand and began to move it.

"Like this. Bibbity boppity boo, I call upon blue!"

Cinderella was then knocked back by a magic ball of blue light.

"Oops. Looks like I used too much..."

The girl then removed herself from the human shaped hole in the concrete wall and began to rub the dust off her shoulders.

"WHAT IS THIS?"

She was now wearing a powder blue ball gown along with a pair of glass slippers.

"If you think that's cool then check out this! Red!"

The man sent a spark of red energy at the garden, causing the pumpkins to explode.

"Shit! I guess I'll have Ijichi drive you..." ______________

Cinderella got in the car and the man knocked on her window. "The names Gojo by the way. Now, before I forget, you need to be back home by twelve or-"

Ijichi was already driving away.

"That's it, I'm going home!" ______________

Cinderella was in the ball room when her mouse scampered out of her dress.

"Wait, come back!"

As this was happening, Naoya was making his complaints about the server to the knight on duty.

"I refuse to eat something that she has touched, Nanami! You tell Gojo that I won't tolerate the presence of a ni-"

Before the man could finish, he was being punched by Nanami.

"Don't you dare insult Tiana again!"

He then dropped Naoya off into the Kitchen.

"You now have everything you need to make Sukuna's meal."

Uraume then got started on the banquet. ______________

"I wonder where the prince could be..."

"I think he's around here somewhere."

Cinderella then jumped back.

"GOJO?"

"That's my name, don't wear it out. Now if you don't mind, I'm off to find Suguru!" ______________

The two men were dancing when another voice cut in.

"Gojo, how could you cheat on me like this! Especially right in front of our son!"

Killua then cried and ran off to find Gon.

"WAIT, YOU'RE THE PRINCE GOJO!?"

"Satoru, who is that?"

"I'M HIS WIFE, ELSA! GOJO, WHO IS THIS OTHER MAN!?"

A third voice then cut in.

"If anyone's looking for a mouse, I stepped on it. You should really hire some cleaning staff, Gojo."

It was none other than Sukuna.

"I think I'm going to faint..."

Cinderella then fell to the floor.

"Why is my dinner on the ground? You know I like my meat well done! Oh well, I guess that's why they call it the five second rule. Malevolent Kitchen!"

Sukuna then roasted the girl into nothing but cinders.

"My bad, I guess I left the oven on too long. I'm going to see if Uraume has anything else to eat..."

Geto then slapped Gojo.

"HOW COULD YOU SATORU!? I THOUGHT I WAS SPECIAL!"

"WAIT BABY, COME BACK, I'M SORRY! SHE DOESN'T MEAN ANYTHING TO ME!"

His son Killua was now gorging on chocolate robots.

"Gojo always seems to be inserting himself in others lives doesn't he? You know he took custody of my son right?"

Buzz's wing popped out. He couldn't believe he was so close to such a handsome man.

"I'm sorry but I didn't catch your name?"

The man smirked.

"It's Toji. Toji Fushiguro and you better remember it!"

He then began to kiss Buzz passionately.

Megumi then gave a disgusted look.

"Gross dad! I told you not to embarrass me in front of Ariel!"

Bagdamagus was never born rip