#turn off captions for your themes assholes

[cockholmsyndrome]

#sorry that caption was just Annoying

@larendipity dont fucking reblog my shit then? 

[sortasirius]

what makes you think the writers want deancas? not trying to be an asshole, i'm just genuinely curious as to why you think that. i know berens' episodes are pretty heavy with subtext so i can see why you'd say that he wants it, but i'm not so sure about the rest of the writers/dabb. it seems like meghan isn't a huge fan either, given her "they twisted it so fast" tweet :/ of course she's a very new writer (think she's only writing one ep this season?) but still

OKAY this is a great question, welcome to my dissertation.

I’m going to address the end of your question first. Meghan is actually DeanCas positive, she has been for quite a long time. She actually, a few years back, posted a picture of her reading a literal book about Destiel and captioned it “writing reading” or something like that.

This whole thing just comes out of a boiling over of tensions because of how nasty fandom twitter can be. Like I said here, I think this has just gotten blown out of proportion, they shouldn’t have posted all this randomly disparaging stuff, but also like...can you blame them? The fandom is a lot, we always have been, and they’re probably also under a gag order not to talk about the finale, and are annoyed that people keep asking.

So nah, Meg is not anti Destiel.

To the first part!! So let’s take a look at the show runners since Cas has been around.

Seasons 4 and 5: Kripke

Seasons 6 and 7: Gamble

Seasons 8-11ish: Carver

Seasons 11ish-15: Dabb

So starting with Kripke. Okay, yes, I will be the first to admit that we have some pretty incredible Destiel moments in these seasons, but it’s less directly written into the plot and much more from Misha and Jensen’s uhhhh ~chemistry~. The only times it was directly written into the script was when the episode was handled by someone like Edlund (“On The Head Of A Pin,” “The End,” “My Bloody Valentine”). And you have to remember, if in season 5, there are moments here and there where you’re like huh that’s suspiciously romantic dialogue, remember that Cas took Anna’s place. Anna was supposed to be endgame for Dean, but due to a myriad of issues and Misha’s general greatness, Anna was replaced with Cas.

Onto 6 and 7. Hmmm. Gamble. 6 and 7 are my two least favorite seasons and that’s no secret, and that’s not only due to the plain old weird shit in the overall storyline, but also that homegirl killed off Cas in s7 and then Bobby like four episodes later. (Also it ALWAYS rubbed me the wrong way they couldn’t have Baby in that season lol). We still had some great DeanCas moments, but again, it wasn’t really written into the overall arc (until they had to change the end of season 7 because of tanking ratings and bring Misha back lol, anyone remember the fact that Dean kept Cas’ jacket and would randomly dream of him? Yeah.). But we still had those moments, those distinctly romantic moments, probably the best example in these two seasons is from Edlund again, specifically “The Man Who Would be King,” I wrote a little about that here.

We move onto Carver, who gave us, at this point, the most overt DeanCas season with season 8 (season gr8 is a better name imo), and this is the first time Dean and Cas’ relationship is directly written as an arc of the season.  I mean, you have everything in Purgatory, Dean “seeing” Cas everywhere, the fact that he felt so guilty that Cas stayed in Purgatory that he manipulated his own memories to think that he was the one that failed Cas, because he couldn’t comprehend that Cas would want to leave him, and let’s not forget Dean snapping Cas out of Naomi’s hold on him in “Goodbye Stranger.”  It was a very obvious shift, not enough to alert the general audience, but more than enough for most of us in fandom.

It’s also important to note that this is when Andrew stopped co writing with Loflin and started writing his own episodes (”Hunter Heroici” anyone?)  I like Loflin fine, but Dabb was able to stretch his legs a little bit more once he stopped co-writing, and we also began to see some DeanCas themes in his solo episodes.

In any case, them and their issues being a big part of the seasons continued with Carver, and Berens entered the scene, his first episode (”Heaven Can’t Wait”) is one of my favorites, with human Cas and the fanfiction gap and Dean and Cas just generally being awkward and funny and sweet.  This is Bobo’s FIRST episode, remember that.  He comes right out of the gate with it.

Also in Season 9, this is when Dean takes the Mark of Cain, and the Cas/Colette mirror is born, so obviously, Dean and Cas are the fabric of the season once again.  This is also the season where Metatron says Cas is “in love with humanity,” and then immediately refers to Dean as Humanity so uhhhh yeah.

Onto season 10, Dabb and Berens continue with their greatness (I could write pages on the DeanCas date in “The Things We Left Behind” alone).  And then we have one of the best scenes in the entire show in “The Prisoner” where the Cas/Colette mirror continues and Dean, driven by grief and pain and rage and the Mark, still doesn’t kill Cas.  He still can’t kill Cas.

Season 11 is important because it takes choice away from both Cas and Dean, and shows us, as the audience, how much losing each other takes out of them. We saw in season 10 how much losing Dean takes from Cas, but what about Cas losing Dean?  Dean loses his choice with his connection to Amara this season, and loses even more when Lucifer reveals he’s been possessing Cas, and plays on Dean’s connection to Cas like a mockery.  It’s also worth noting that, similarly to season 8, Dean breaks out of the connection with Amara when he’s worried about Cas, and that’s something that even SHE is surprised by.

But then season 12, the beginning to the Renaissance.  This is when we get the writer’s that become important for what Dean and Cas are today, and, truly, why I believe they want canon Destiel as much as we do.

This is the first season with Dabb’s writers: Davy Perez, Meredith Glynn, Steve Yockey, and of course Bobo all come in with their incredible talents and gave us episode after episode of good content.  “Lily Sunder Has Some Regrets” is probably my favorite, probably the best example of what I’m saying.  An episode where Dean is called out by an enemy directly, told to “roll the dice” on Cas’ life.  And Dean won’t, it’s not even really a hesitation.  And this comes from a character that has known Dean for ten seconds.  I also wrote more in depth about this episode here.  There are also some.....distinctly domestic details we get this season, specifically in “The Future” (written by Berens and Glynn) with the mixtape.  The most tropey of tropes mixtape.  Yeah, I’ll just leave that one here.

And then season 12 ends with Cas’ death, but also with the parallel between Sam and Dean with Jess and Cas.  Sam literally has to drag Dean away from Cas, just like Dean had to drag Sam out of his burning apartment in the pilot.  The episode drives it home in every way that it can: Dean is the one left kneeling by Cas’ body, while Sam goes to find out what is upstairs.  Dean is the one who stares at the sky, finally broken.  This isn’t a random thing, this is Dean’s whole arc, it’s the entirety of the beginning of 13.  Dean’s pain, his anguish, his anger.

Season 13 starts with them burning Cas, with Dean, who has begged God to bring him back, who has split his knuckles punching a door, standing, staring at Cas’ pyre with brokenness on his face.

I mean.....

Anyway, season 13 is where it gets interesting (well, I think all of this is interesting but I’m a writer nerd so).  So Cas comes back from the Empty in “Advanced Thanatology” written by Steve Yockey, and then a wombo combo of “Tombstone” by Davy Perez next (”Brokebacknatural” as the PR said at the time).  Listen.  This is the part that SPN crossed a line that they couldn’t come back from.  With Cas being Dean’s “big win,” the fact that Dean and Cas watch movies together, “I told you, he’s an angry sleeper.  Like a bear.” Talked about it here.

This is where, in my opinion, the network stepped in, but the damage was already done.  They had already established that Cas was Dean’s big win, that Dean’s poor coping was not due to Mary’s disappearance, but solely due to Cas, and that Dean and Cas have more married energy than anyone else.  The network had nixed blatant canon at this point, and they writing room had been pushing the boundaries of what the network would allow. 

After these episodes, we see a marked drop off of DeanCas heavy scenes.  They’re still there, still a part of the fabric of the season, but not as...obvious as it had been in early season 13.

And this continued through season 14, we’re back to scraps of Destiel scenes here and there, but to me it always felt like there was something bubbling under the surface, something distinctly unsaid in the themes of the season, even after the walk back of obvious “Dean and Cas are in love” scenes.

And then we get to season 15, which, y’all know I talk about all the time.  What’s important here is that Bobo and Glynn are both executive producers, calling more of the shots than ever before.  Additionally, it’s important to note that, though they only co write occasionally, Glynn and Berens refer to each other as “work husband” and “work wife.”  Each episode has just turned up the volume, and, not for the first time, but certainly the most obvious, Dean and Cas ARE the season.  Sure, they’re trying to beat God, they’re trying to finally find peace, defeat the final big bad, but really?  This season has been about Dean, and Dean’s relationship to Cas.

And not only do we have obvious and clear Destiel in nearly every episode, but we have episodes like “Last Call” which canonize bi!Dean (wrote about that here).

And, maybe most importantly so far, we have “The Rupture,” the breakup, and “The Trap,” Dean’s confession (both written by Berens).  And here’s the thing.  These episodes feel connected, but also feel like they’re missing something.  Beren’s last episode is 15x18, “The Truth.”  We’ve all spec’ed about what could happen in this episode, and I think *I* know what it’s leading to.  But for it to be leading to that, it means that the network has to have approved what we’ve all been waiting for years for.

Who got this change to happen?  Who got the network to change their minds?  It wasn’t us.  It was them.  I am fully convinced that Dabb and Berens quite literally put their careers on the line for Dean and Cas.  They believe in them, they’ve shown that from the beginning, but the only thing standing in the way was the network, never allowing them to take the final step. 

So, to answer your question: I think the writers want canon DeanCas because they’ve already shown us that they do.  Take a look at their episodes, at Dabb’s, at Beren’s, at Glynn’s, at Perez’s, at Yockey’s.  They’ve been telling us what’s going on with Dean and Cas for years.

Sure, I’m not in their heads, I guess I don’t know for *sure* that this has been their thought process, but if we put it all together, from the marked shift when Dabb fully took over in s12, to the change right after “Tombstone,” to the new shift, the blatantly romantic shift in season 15, what else is there?

I’ve said for a long time that we, the SPN fandom, are beyond lucky to have the writer’s that we do.  They’re all going to go on to have prolific careers and we were lucky to get them at the end of our little show.  I give them a lot of credit for what we have in the show today.

Just remember, they’ve been telling us in all of s15 who Chuck is.  He says he’s the writer, right?  But a writer who doesn’t have control of his characters?  A writer who wants to do the same ending over and over because it “works”?  That doesn’t sound like a writer, it sounds like a network exec.

They’ve been showing us what they want for years, and the way s15 is going?  I think they may have convinced the network to let us have it.

[pinkyhim]

Little Mix Up (m)

pairing: jungkook x reader

genre: smut, fluff

word count: 3.4k

theme: enemies to lovers  

 rating: explicit.

warnings: Swearing, ear biting, dry humping, dirty talk, no protection (use protection peeps), hair pulling, wet dreams lmao, marking/hickeys, fingering, slight pain kink?, jk is kind of possessive?, squirting, jk is a big boy (aka he has a big ding dong), slight overstimulation,Jungkook is cute in this uwu,

summary: A little camping trip mix up has you stuck in a tent with your enemy Jeon Jungkook, nothing could go wrong right?

Author’s Note - I originally posted this on another acc but I decided to delete it and just post it on here, Hope you guys enjoy this little piece of shit story :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

You were not excited about this "healthy" little camping trip that your parents planned up, especially when you heard that the Jeon family was tagging along. You always tried your best to be gracious to them mainly because your mom was forever fixed on you, becoming friends with their only son, Jeon Jungkook. Now he was a problem, you honestly weren't sure why he always loathed you, but now, you don't even care. And for some reason, your mother wanted you to become friends with an asshole like him.

"I'm not going" You stated to your mother for the fourth time this morning, "Well, Y/N, it's not like you have a choice" Your mother responded as you let out a huge groan "I don't wanna go!" You say stomping your foot pouting. "Y/n pouting might work on your father, but not me, so start packing." She responds as you roll your eyes and stalk over to your room flinging the door shut to make your point. You didn't want to go on this trip if it wasn't obvious enough, Your mother wanted to get you and Jungkook in some kind of relationship of sorts but no way in hell were you ever going to date some jerk like Jungkook. You always tried to become acquainted with Jungkook but he continuously blew you off. You sighed laying down on your bed to call up your best friend Park Jimin.

He answered with "What?" You could hear something shuffling in the background "Oops, did I catch you at a bad time?" You said grinning "Nah, I was just scrolling on the internet" He responds and you hum "So what did your mom say?" He asks and you groan "I have to go to the camping trip with the Jeon family" You grumbled as Jimin chuckled "C'mon I'm sure it's not going to be that bad" You laugh dryly "Well obviously you think that because Jungkook is not a complete asshole to you." You say as your mom yells at you at hurry up "Shoot I got to go" You say your goodbyes to Jimin and hang up. Sighing you walk over to your closet and grab a backpack and fill it with necessities. After you finished you walked downstairs to see only Jungkook and your mother. "Um, where is everyone else?" You ask looking at your mother as she smiles "Didn't I tell you, sweetie? It's only going to be you and Jungkook"

Your jaw fell open as you saw Jungkook roll his eyes. Before you could argue with your mother she pushed you out of the house as you stood there completely baffled as Jungkook stood there staring at you. You saw your mother looking out the window so there was no chance of you going back inside to the safety of your home so with your head hanging low you dragged your feet inside Jungkook's black vehicle. Jungkook got inside without a word as he started driving. You were confused as hell, not because of what your mom did, naturally you expected her to pull something like that. What confused you is why Jungkook would agree if it was just going to be you two.

You pulled your phone out and sent a text to Jimin.

Y/N→Jimin you need to come and save me ಠ_ಠ

Jimin→ ????

Y/N→ My mom fucking tricked me!!!!!! She lied, and now I'm going camping with only Jungkook ヽ(ﾟДﾟ)ﾉ

Jimin→ Lol have fun.

Y/N→ BRUH ur supposed to save me you dick I'm going to die if I spend a weekend with this fuckface next to me ಠ╭╮ಠ

Jimin→ You won't be complaining when you get laid ¯\_( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)_/¯

Y/N→  WTF does that mean?!?!?!?!??!!?

You shoved your phone into your pocket as Jimin went offline. You glanced over at Jungkook who was focusing on the road. You weren't going to lie he was handsome as fuck if he wasn't such a dick you might have actually fallen for him. Luckily for you, that didn't happen.

You stared outside the window wondering why Lady luck just seemed to hate your guts, After a while, You decided to break the uncomfortable silence, “Why did you agree?” You ask Jungkook as he huffs out a breath in annoyance, "I had no choice," He mutters out as you roll your eyes, "What? Did you think I would want to go camping with a weirdo like you?" Jungkook questions smirking as you whip your head towards him "What the fuck did you just say, Jeon?" You ask hands gripping the black leather seat tightly, "You heard me Y/N, Knowing you, you'll probably just masturbate the whole time" Your eyes went wide, as you remember that dreaded day where your mom decided to just let Jungkook waltz inside your room.

"Oh, You're here for Y/N?" Your Mother asks Jungkook as he nods, "Well, She's in her room," Your Mother responds as Jungkook gives a small thanks before making his way to your room. When Jungkook reached it, he heard some weird noises, Since he clearly has no sense of privacy or manners he swung the door open and caught you red-handed with your fingers knuckle deep inside your wet core, "Holy shit!" Jungkook shouted not able to tear his eyes away from the sight as your eyes snapped open, "What the fuck!???! Get out!" You yelled, attempting to cover yourself with your blanket but to no avail, Jungkook ran out of your room slamming the door shut leaving you sitting there with a beet-red face.

You blush a crimson color, "Shut up," You state as Jungkook scoffed, "Why did you even masturbate in the first place, You knew I was coming over for the project," Jungkook said as you averted your gaze from him, "W-Well maybe that wouldn't have happened if you just knocked," You respond slightly gnawing at your bottom lip, "Well if you weren't so eager for a date with your fingers, maybe I wouldn't have caught you," Your blood started to boil once you heard the words fall from Jungkook's mouth, "Excuse me?" You ask as you turn your head to see the smug look painted on Jungkook's face, "C'mon Y/N, We both know that the only thing that has touched you in the last three months was your right hand,"

You were about two seconds away from actually murdering Jungkook, but you decided that jail wasn't worth it so you just grumbled and turned away, ignoring Jungkook as you heard him laugh, deciding to distract yourself from him, you grabbed your phone and started to mindlessly scroll through social media, you stopped on a particular post that had your ex's face, you were certain that you had blocked him so you were surprised to see his face, you cringed at the horrible caption "What I do When I see someone pretty, I stare, I smile, Then I get tired and put the mirror down" You sighed as you shoved your phone back into your pocket, deciding to just take a small nap as your eyes fluttered shut,

You were awoken by the sound of Jungkook, "Y/N, Wake up, We're here" Jungkook spoke lightly pushing your shoulder, deciding to be stubborn you just let out a "hmph" before turning away, Jungkook rolled his eyes at your actions before grabbing both of your shoulders and start to viciously shake you, your eyes snapped open as you yelled, "Geez, What the fuck Jeon?!" You shoved his hands off of you as he scoffed, "I just wanted to warn you that your loud snoring might attract bears," Your eyes widen as you blushed, embarrassed, you stepped outside of the car murmuring "I don't fucking snore," You heard Jungkook snort at that "Yeah, right," He said chuckling, you cursed him under your breath before you took in the beautiful view of nature, the smell of grass and bark calmed you as you took a deep breath in, sadly you were broken from your trance as you heard Jungkook speak yet again "Are you just going to stand there, or are you going to help me set up the tent," You could hear the annoyance in his voice, turning your head you saw Jungkook standing there with his hands on his hips looking like an angry child who didn't get their way, you bit your bottom lip holding back your laughter, "I don't know, I think I'll just stand here" You responded copying your posture to look like Jungkook's, "I don't have time for this Y/N" Jungkook spoke as you rolled your eyes, after a minute of watching Jungkook struggle to set up the tent alone you decided to cave in, making your way to Jungkook you helped him set it up, after another couple minutes of confusion Jungkook finally managed to set it up,

By that time the sun was already setting, you were surprised to see that there was only one tent, "Where's the other tent?" You ask as Jungkook turns his head towards you "What other tent?" He responds as you shake your head "There's no way in hell I'm sharing a tent with you," You say as you point your finger at Jungkook as he rolls his eyes, "Then why don't you just sleep in the car, you seemed to be comfortable sleeping there," He responds unfolding a chair for himself before sitting down, You let out a sarcastic laugh before walking over to him,

"No way!" You state stopping right in front of him, "Why don't you sleep in the car?" You ask doing a bad impression of him, Jungkook chuckled lowly before bringing his gaze up to you, you started to blush and fidget slightly under his gaze, You heard Jungkook murmur something under his breath, "What?" You ask, suddenly Jungkook grasped your wrist and pulled you down onto his lap, shocked, you let out a little squeak before Jungkook leans his head towards yours, his lips ghosting above yours before whispering in your ear "I said, you're such a fucking tease," You gasp as you feel him lightly nibble on your ear,

You felt as if you were hypnotized by him, you suddenly yearned for his touch,  more than you would like to admit, suddenly you seemed to have snapped out of your trance as you jumped off of his lap as if he had burned you, your breathing labored as you spoke, "I-I guess we could share," You spoke meekly before Jungkook smiled and said "Great,"

After eating some instant noodles, since both you and Jungkook can't cook worth of shit, You ran off into the forest using the excuse "I have to go the bathroom," After you were a reasonable distance away, you grabbed your phone and texted Jimin,

Y/N→ Jimin I need to speak to u ASAP

You waited a couple of minutes before Jimin replied,

Jimin→ What is it?

Y/N→Okay I know this is going to sound crazy but I think I like Jungkook

Jimin→ (·̿Ĺ̯·̿ ̿) you woke me up for this bullshit,

Y/N→DUDE I'm serious, so basically, I was arguing with Jungkook because there was only one tent and there was no way I was going to share with him, and the SUDDENLY he pulls me onto his lap and calls me a FUCKIN TEASE LIKE WTFFFFF,

Jimin→So now u want the jungcock?

Your eyes went wide as you read the text Jimin sent,

Y/N→ tbh...kinda

Jimin→HA I KNEW IT,

Y/N→WHAT SHOULD I DO?!

Jimin→ How am I supposed to know? ur the one trying to get into Jungkook's pants, not me ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Y/N→ Geez Jimin, you're a big fucking help

Jimin→ Thank you, I try （。ˇ ⊖ˇ）

You ran your hands through your hair as Jimin goes offline, "I'm screwed" You mutter before making your way back to the tent, Your eyes almost bulged out of their sockets as you saw Jungkook changing right out in the open, You couldn't help but shamefully gawk at his incredibly hot back, how is somebody this good looking? You felt your blood run cold as Jungkook turned around, his eyes meeting yours. Luckily, it seemed like he didn't notice you, he slipped his shirt on before going inside the tent,

You let out a breath of relief, heading over to the car to grab your bag and quickly change into your sleepwear, you started to feel anxious as you realized that you and Jungkook would be sleeping next to each other, You pulled your phone out to check the time 10:48 PM it read, You started to consider just sleeping in the car but you wouldn't allow Jungkook that satisfaction, taking your shoes off you slowly unzipped the tent open, poking your head inside, you saw Jungkook laying on his side you assumed that he was already asleep, cautiously stepping inside you zipped the tent back up before laying down far away from Jungkook.

Not wanting to take your phone out in case it might wake Jungkook up you laid on your back staring at the top of the tent, slowly but surely you ended up falling into a deep sleep,

Jungkook roughly tugged on your hair forcing you to look at him while he mounted you, filthy sounds were falling out of your mouth as you felt tears whelming up from the mixed pleasure and pain you were experiencing, Jungkook leaned down and whispered into your ear "Who knew you were such a slut for my cock Y/N" You felt your high nearing you as you felt even more turned on by the wet slaps of skin that echoed throughout, "J-Jungkook I-I'm go-gonna-" Jungkook cut you off "Hm? You gonna cum all over my cock like the dirty little slut you are?" You nodded multiple times, as you shut your eyes feeling your high approaching quickly,

You woke up in a sweat, you were breathing heavily as you felt your panties stick uncomfortably to your folds that were slick with your juices, "Jungkook," You breathed out unintentionally, "Yes Y/N?" Your head snapped over to the voice as you saw Jungkook laying there, brown eyes filled with lust focused on yours, Jungkook pulled you close to him, you could feel his breath on yours as he stared deeply into your eyes before speaking, "You were thinking about me weren't you?"

You knew that you weren't going to get away with lying to him so you just nodded, focusing your gaze anywhere but Jungkook, You can sense him smirking as he grabbed your wrist and placed it on his very prominent bulge, Your eyes grew wide as Jungkook spoke lowly, "Look at what you did to me Y/N, You're going to fix it," Jungkook growled as he smashed his  soft buttery lips onto yours, your hands found their way to Jungkook's hair as you lightly tugged at it making him let groan, You felt Jungkook snake his hands towards your shorts before hooking his fingers in the waistband and pulling them down, You let out a whimper as you felt Jungkook rub his clothed cock onto your damp panties, Jungkook took the chance to shove his wet tongue inside your mouth, your warm tongues danced together as you let out little moans from the friction Jungkook was creating from rocking his hips back and forth, Jungkook moved his hands towards your ass and gave it a light smack making you yelp, you could feel him smirk before he broke the kiss, you whined slightly making him slap your ass again this time more rough making you moan out, "You're so fucking hot Y/N" Jungkook whispered in your ear before biting lightly making you mewl in want, You felt Jungkook lightly tug on your panties before looking up at you "Can I?" Jungkook asked face completely flushed, He had a little drool on his pink lips but you didn't mind, "Y-Yes," you responded before pulling him in for another wet kiss,

Jungkook tugged you panties off making you shiver as the cold air hit your dripping core, you felt Jungkook run a finger along your folds making you cry out in pleasure, Jungkook pulled away as he looked at you, his dark brown orbs seemed to hold the entire universe, "God, Y/N you don't know how long I wanted you," He spoke before gently pushing a finger into your core, you let out a choked moan as he started to pump fast adding another finger inside you, you felt complete and utter euphoria as his long digits pumped into dripping your core, the wet squelches were loud as you   clenched around his fingers tightly, "You don't know how much I wanted to fuck your drenched pussy the day I saw you touching yourself," You felt yourself growing closer and closer with each word that came from his mouth, "You're mine Y/N" Jungkook snarled as he put his head in the crook of your sensitive neck and started to suck love bites onto your skin making you moaned loudly as your release hit you hard, you started to get extremely sensitive as Jungkook pulled his finger's out of your core as you breathed heavy,

After coming down from your high you grabbed Jungkook's wrist, "I want you," You whispered as he smirked, "You want me?" You blushed hard as you nodded making Jungkook let out a small laugh, "You're so fucking cute," He says blushing "C-Can I take off your shirt?" He asks making you blush also, unable to form any words you nod meekly, Jungkook starts by taking off his own making you marvel at his toned body, running your fingers down his abs he shivers a little bit before pulling his gray sweatpants down, your eyes went wide as you saw his thick member that was confined in his briefs, Jungkook started to gently pull off your t-shirt before unclipping your bra and tugging it off, "God, You're so beautiful," Jungkook breathed out as he pulled you in for a soft kiss, you felt Jungkook lightly nibble on your bottom lip making you whine into his mouth, After pulling away Jungkook started to take off his briefs, His member was beautiful, his tip a light pink, veins that were adorned from the base to the tip, it looked as if it was sculptured by the heavens, Jungkook started to rub the tip along your core gathering your sweet juices, You grabbed his wrist halting his movements, "I-It's been a while since.." You spoke as Jungkook had a warm smile on his face before gently kissing you "I'll take care of you," He responded his gentle voice calming you down,

You felt tears well up in your eyes as he started to push inside your core, you could feel everything, every crevice, every vein, everything, and you loved it, despite the light pain you loved the feeling of Jungkook, Jungkook let out a strangled groan as he bottomed out stopping a moment to let you adjust, "Please move," You begged, that was all he needed before starting a fast pace, his hips snapping as you cried out in pleasure, filthy sounds falling from both of your mouths, the skin slapping filled the entire forest as you felt your high approaching quickly, you were on cloud nine, you started to scream out in pleasure when Jungkook's fingers found their way to your overly sensitive clit rubbing small circles, "J-Jungkook I'm going to c-cum!" You moaned out as Jungkook's thrusts started to get fast and sloppy, the wet smacks from his cock entering and exiting your wet core made you whine loudly, You felt your orgasm come when Jungkook lifted one of your legs and placed it over his shoulder, the new position hitting your sweet spot, you moaned loudly as your eyes rolled to the back of your head, you swore that it was the hardest you ever came in your entire life you started to see stars, "Holy shit! You just squirted Y/N!" But you could barely hear Jungkook as you started to get overstimulated, you adored the feeling of Jungkook roughly pumping his member inside your sensitive core, "A-Ah Y/N I-I'm gonna cum" Jungkook groaned out before pulling himself out and spilling white ribbons of his seed onto your stomach,

Jungkook collapsed next to you breathing heavy a light sheet of sweat covering both of you, "C-Can I cuddle you?" Jungkook asks as you turn your head towards him, you smile gently as you see the deep blush that painted his face, Who knew Jeon Jungkook was soft, "Sure," You murmured as Jungkook wrapping his arms around your body the skin on skin contact making you blush,

Maybe this little camping trip won't be a complete drag after all

[rowanartist]

Fan fiction quotes 2019:

"with great foods, came great emotional baggage"[X]extra funny since I just saw Into the Spiderverse

"Just get together every couple of weeks, without Stark, and you guys can pass Steve around like a bong."[ch2]whaat? And chapter three is a dirty parody - worth a read for the humor of it

"he just hopes Tony has the sense God gave concussed baby sheep "[X]interesting phrase

"“Science,” Jane says, drawing his face to hers, “Does not require pants "[X]fun series of short fics

"Never something so hot; not like a flame is hot, but the strength of something bathed in summer sun. "[X]interesting view on attraction

"(He'd been sketching when he thought that through; now there's a page that has a little cartoon of himself, ducking, with the caption "the spoons are attacking!" although he'd ended up finishing his latte before he actually drew any flying spoons.) "[X]Steve upon learning about spoon theory

"Can you think of anything that symbolizes the eighties better than David Bowie’s crotch in tights? "[X]giggle out loud! "You drink once if someone whines, if Sarah says something isn’t fair, or if we get a shot of Bowie’s crotch. "[Same]comment

"“Like you’re going to vibrate out of your skin?” Natasha finished for him, understanding. Sometimes, after what they’d been through, it was hard just to be in your body. Easier to dissociate, to let whatever was going to happen happen while the part of you that was you floated far away. Natasha had been there before, and she knew James went there sometimes. "[X]ponder?

"They’re each wrapped up in their own blanket burrito, lying side by side in the dark, sharing one pillow. "[X]dual blanket burritos

"For most of his life he learned the safest option was to repress his emotional responses as much as possible, and over time he forgot how to access them when he actually needed to. "[X]relatable to a small degree

"Nothing too special but I’m pretty much Michael Bay’s wet dream "[X]to describe bakugo lol

"Most people," Midoriya continued gently, "don't need to be told they have a crush by the person that they have the crush on."[X]my boyfriend can relate to Midoriya here...

"about how if Midoriya could go this long talking without breathing in any new air, he'd probably be really good at kissing. "[same]lol

"God, fuck off. You look so freshly screwed that it hurts me. "[X]Bakugo ;p

"After all, shodō is one of Shouto’s hobbies. For Midoriya’s birthday last year, he made a beautiful poster of UA’s motto that is now displayed prominently above Midoriya’s bed. "[X]draw? If i can? "Please don’t use your All Might voice when we’re making plans to have sex. "[Same]lol

"He’d known for a while that his boyfriend internalizes, that he still struggles with a lot of insecurities and periodic depression from his years around his dad "[X]comment

"Shouto you’re worth more than anything. And you deserve happiness. I don’t care what micro-dick has said to you in the past or any shit he spews out of the mouth that’s somehow more obnoxious than Present Mic "[same]dam it Endeavor :/ "You’re a dork,” Izuku mutters in a break for breath. “Your dork,” Shouto says quietly "[Same]awww

"But if you ever forget your phone again I will use you as an advertisement balloon for a day, and that’s a promise."[X]lol

"First of all, I challenge you to find a dress that can fit that shoulders to waist ratio.” Shouto replied, matter-of-factly, pointing at Izuku’s entire body. “Secondly, you absolutely lack the manners to be a princess, you brute.” "[X]part of a series

"Another young woman that couldn’t be older than Shouto and Izuku looked up at the call. She had a round face and long, brown hair with little orange streaks every now and then collected in a braid. The red rimmed glasses she wore made her yellow eyes look bigger, behind the lenses. She lit up, when she saw them. "[X]need to try to draw

"You’d die of embarrassment— Either that, or Aizawa-sensei would kill you. And I kind of like you alive, thank you very much.” "[same]LOL

" is standing there in grey sweats and a loose Totoro hoodie he got him on one of their first dates "[X]draw

"It definitely didn’t help that Izuku stretched lazily, something akin to a cat just waking up from a nap, one of his legs stretching against the wall as the opposite arm reached towards Shouto with fingers spread wide-open. "[X]DRAW!

"What? They’re really short, all my boxers showed and it was weird. "[X]...

"Just because he isn’t as obvious about it, doesn’t mean Shouto isn’t beyond anxious too. "[X]comment

"He doesn’t treat Shouto like he is fragile, but he treats him like he is precious, and that is an important distinction"...."Something precious, however, doesn’t necessarily break easy, but it warrants the utmost care. It’s meant to be cherished. "[X]relationship advice

"One of the national dishes has no meat in it, but it’s the hottest thing I’ve ever tasted. I thought we were all going to die and T’Challa was going to succeed in eliminating us. Then I heard him yelling at the chef, saying none of us were used to Wakandan peppers.” "[X]https://archiveofourown.org/works/8688724/chapters/19918951#workskin

"All Tony was supposed to do was fix the alternator. Instead he built me a Jeep that tells me I have to initiate a proper launch sequence before I’m able to turn it on and drive.” "[Same]comment

"I’m sorry,” Midoriya retracts his hand, and Todoroki misses it instantly. “It’s not something I can fix, and that makes me sad. You don’t deserve to hear the things he tells you.” "[X]reread comment. Relatable to a degree personally

"But he has to admit the Docs greener side is awfully useful in a brawl; and his less menacing side has a wicked sense of humor, not to mention awfully good with a med kit. "[X]i like Bruce having a sense of humor

"That's what friends are for anyway, having your back when times are tough, and amusement for when times are peaceful. "[X]amusing

"Bucky didn't think he was being rude, but if Captain America said so, it must be true. "[Same]comment

"Steve’s always been a fan of cuddles, even if he doesn’t like to admit it, admit how much he needs that physical contact. "[X]I'm a fan of this concept

"Which in Steve-speak means that you’re feeling guilty as all hell over things you can’t control – again, mind you – and you can’t rest because you can’t shut your brain up.” "[Same]relate "There’s power in this act, Darcy thinks as she sucks and licks up and down his length. To be able to take someone apart with just her mouth and a few touches of her hands. Reduce them to tears or send them flying upwards into the heavens. And the knowledge that she wants to do this for him – for them – makes the feeling all the more potent. She doesn’t have to do this, but it’s her choice, and she wants to give this to them. "[Same]ponder more

"She may not come from it, but the closeness and the intimacy is far more important than any orgasm. "[X]remember

"He knows better, knows that Bakugou’s punches of greeting and movie nights at Yaoyorozu’s house with Mina, Hagakure, and Tsu, and that baking with Izuku are all love. That’s love, not the villain sat behind the desk. "[X]dark fic, author warns in notes. But this line is sweet

"Natasha Romanoff is a world-class spy, yes. But she’s also a potato chip thief who makes dumb jokes and uses emoticons (she had been very adamant that Steve learn the difference between emoticons and emojis), and Steve adores her for it. "[ch5]she's human

"Bucky flopped onto it rolling around like a dog on the soft surface, Natasha quietly responding by taking out her phone and videoing his nonsense. "[ch2]Mr. Kate style rug cuddle but solo

"“First of all, just because someone is good looking does not mean I should have sex with them. There are attractive serial killers Nat, do you want me to get murdered? Second of all, I don’t know him. Third of all, he’s not looking at me like I’m chicken wings, also Clint, seriously? Chicken wings?” "[same]lol, but I'm with you Bucky

"Even in just plain sweatpants, the American icon without a shirt was an image that would have anyone seeing stars and stripes, regardless of sexual orientation. "[X]:)

"Agent Bishop was hit with a biological weapon today that has a ninety-two per cent chance of ending in fatality within three days unless proper care is administered to disperse the chemical compound through natural methods. Meaning, in the case of humans, sexual release. As in, orgasming."[X]a legalese description of "sex pollen" ...

"Do the horizontal contra dance, yes," Darcy answered. "Well kind of, I mean there's only three of us and a contra dance is four to a group, but tango is just for two and I had to think of something fast. Come on, Stevie, this isn't the first time we've hooked up. "[X]lol

"He wanted something just for him again, even though he felt like a selfish asshole for even thinking it. So he would do whatever he could to chase after that feeling. Even if it was stupid. Even if it was silly. "[ch2]advice, remember "Tony must never read these, Steve thought. Bucky’s arm would never be safe. "[ch3]Steve Discovers FanFiction "Steve stayed focused on the screen, sticking out his tongue a little while he concentrated. It was unfairly adorable. "[ch4]Jarvis knows how to motivate Steve: a Bucky themed typing game "Good things would happen. Funny, clever jokes would be told. Sexy adventures were always available, no matter what was happening in the real world. "[X]relatable "There was even a page of ‘Bucky Approved Sex Words and Phrases’. The name alone never failed to make Steve smile "[ch7]lol "He wasn’t really writing this stuff for the money anyways; mostly he just wanted to see that other people liked and enjoyed what he was doing. "[Same]relatable: my redbubble rowan-artist

"Darcy’s eyes widened. “Oh god, I just imagined you naked, dusted in gold, on a satin-sheeted bed. My mind is a dangerous place.” “Hey, there’s always Halloween.” "[ch6]you being Steve

"Jane was rapidly nearing the angry-bear stage of sleep deprivation (there were seven levels on the Dr. Jane Foster Sleep Deprivation chart; angry bear was number five, between 'genius-level insane productivity' and 'sugar high five-year old'), "[X]also Dean Fury ... "Then you come to me, we'll kill a bottle of Jameson and make Thor carry our drunk asses home while we sing Les Mis horribly off-key," "[same]amusing

"This is why you should always read end-user agreements on friendships. "[X]not the fic but the start notes, lol. Also, Maria's entry is adorable, and Pepper potts!! "(“So what you’re telling me is you spent a week building a glorified roomba,” Rhodey says the first time he sees it, and Tony lets out an undignified huff and makes JUNK-E destroy and clean a grand piano.) "[Same]hahha

"And it’s better to be an asset, which at least sounds like something you value, than a glorified action figure. "[ch3]comment "Steve’s friendship is stronger than even Steve’s shield, and protects them both just as much "[Same ch9]awww

"Bucky actually is, but she knows well enough not to ask. Instead, she has started braiding flowers into Natasha's hair while the other girl of the group is busy making a flower crown for Thor. This is what it must be like to have real friends, Bucky thinks, lounging in his camping chair, trying to eat with one hand while Steve is holding his arm, drawing on the inside of his forearm with a black pen. "[ch2]flower crowns "I heard a lot of things I kind of projected on myself. It's probably stupid, but… it's always crazy to hear things that apply to oneself somehow." "It's the magic of music. Sam once told me about the Mr. Brightside effect–" "[ch4]yes "Bruce is on his own so much that he probably doesn't even notice that he has friends "[ch5]relatable, high school me

"The most beautiful thing however was the wall right next to the bed-- while all the other walls were the same off-white color, this one sported stripes of different colors down. Blue, red, green, purple, black, another shade of lighter blue. In the middle of these stripes, the Avenger signs were painted by a meticulous hand; Cap’s shield, Tony’s arc reactor, Mew Mew, and so on-- Darcy didn’t notice she was crying into Mara started wailing in solidarity "[ch1]draw?

"He knows it, like Steve and Bucky know that Tony needs praises and affection, not commands. "[ch8]...

"She thanked Sif (a habit she had started lately, thanking the Asgardian warrior instead of some non-present God, because really, if there was a god she wanted to follow, it would totally be Sif) "[X]nice Darcy "Even if she wasn’t an Avenger per say, she got to be on the team, both super and nonsuper alike. "[ch2]awww

"Elizabeth is going to make coffee happen, and in Darcy’s eyes that makes her a goddess. "[X]comment "By the end, Steve had been right in the thick of it, using a frypan as a shield and hurling pasta like nobody’s business. "[same]comment "Agent Hill’s bad ass levels are through the roof, but put her in front of a powerpoint and the result is coma-inducing. "[Ch3]lol "JARVIS, my man, I need some fat beats up in here. Help a sister out?” "[ch3]comment

"She knew now that it was almost certainly to do with her personal level of comfort and how hard both Steve and Barnes had worked to make her feel good. "[middle chapter]comment

"A video clip of the Asgardian scientist Tadeas and Neil Degrasse Tyson singing a scientific ballad of their own composition was one of the most viewed Youtube videos of all time "[X]lol "He grabbed [a muffin] and shoved it into his mouth, belatedly peeling the paper off. "[Same]haha! :D "Darcy put a box of Sour Patch Kids on top, “Those are for Heimdall.” "[X]comment "“No. Damnit, Darcy. You’re stubborn. Of course you’re stubborn! Jesus Christ, I can’t even imagine what it must like to be in the same room as the two of you.” "[X]best friend sass "But Clint is a human with a bow on a team of superheroes. "[X]Darcy's favorite avenger and why Ch4 music note "Apparently Thor is back on Earth. He showed up in New York right after we left and basically deafened all of Brooklyn with his displeased shouting about his missing Shield Sister. So now everyone knows I’m gone and my disappearance is trending on Twitter as #MissingAsgardianPrincess. How is this my life?! I can’t even with this shit.” "[X]mild spoiler? HAHAHA "Try having a conversation with one of them [asgardians]-- 4 to 1 odds it turns into some sort of ballad recitation. "[X]...

"The next day, Izuku Midoriya delivered his eleven page elaborate essay on how ordering sex toys inspired him to be more honest with himself and his boyfriend about what he wanted in life and in bed. "[X]lol

"“Fire for stop, ice for slow, and smash for go.” "[X]comment

[truthbeetoldmedia]

Good Trouble 1x10 “Re-Birthday” Review

In Episode 10 of Good Trouble, it’s Davia’s birthday and she’ll cry if she wants to — and make some poor decisions. After all, that’s what your twenties are for, right?

In true Davia fashion, she plans a huge bash revolved around trivia questions about herself. Each answer is a location on a bar crawl, in which the Coterie squad and their mandatory plus ones are split into two teams competing for a mystery prize. Points can be won by getting to the location(s) first and by taking part in various mischievous activities.

Callie and Jamie are bummed to find that they’re not on the same team, and Bryan is equally upset to find that Gael is on Callie’s team. Though Gael has “chosen” him, he still seems threatened by his boyfriend’s past fling and present roommate.

Mariana’s plus one is Raj, who she now seems to have a friend in, despite their awkward encounter a few episodes back that inspired Mariana to create a female support group at work. Alice invites Sumi whom she also has an awkward past with, being that they’re exes, and Sumi still seems to be stringing her along.

Malika brings her boyfriend Isaac, while Davia forbids Dennis from bringing a plus one and also goes by herself, since her married fling Jeff seems to be ignoring her. Little does she know, Dennis told him off when he showed up at the loft looking for Davia.

With the announcing of the first trivia question, the gang is off ordering their cars from “Coche”, an Uber-eque service. When Mariana and Callie get into their team’s car, they find that their driver is none other than Brandon, their older brother. (Side note, shouldn’t your app tell you who your driver is?)

We later find out that Brandon is driving because his successful wife Eliza, Jamie’s sister, wants to support him while he writes music, but Brandon wants to make his own way. Additionally, Eliza is on the road a lot, leaving Brandon lonely and in need of some human interaction.

He confides in Dennis, who’s in the same boat with his own ex-wife. Their divorce has left him high and dry, and though she’s offered to help him out, he’d refused when his pride got in the way. Talking with Dennis seems to help Brandon realize that he has every right to want to make his own money, and he shouldn’t have to hide that from his wife.

Meanwhile, there’s palpable tension between the love square that is Callie, Jamie, Gael and Bryan. At a gay bar, Davia announces that the players can earn points by kissing someone they’ve never kissed before. When Bryan kisses Callie, it visibly upsets both Jamie and Gael. Jamie confronts Callie asking what they are, and Callie doesn’t really have an answer for him. He tells her that if she wants to be friends with occasional benefits on her terms, he doesn’t want to play that game.

Bryan is upset because although Gael has “chosen him”, he knows that Callie broke up with Gael and is nervous that if she hadn’t, Gael wouldn’t be with him. In a sweet moment back at the loft, Gael promises his boyfriend that he’s with him for a reason and that he doesn’t regret anything that’s happened. Gael and Callie have also agreed to get to know each other as friends. (Yeah, right.)

Alice and her plus one also run into some drama when Sumi leads her on all night. Malika notices and immediately confronts Alice, reminding her that Joey, her blind date a few episodes back, is totally into her. Though Alice is afraid she may not be interested when she finds out Alice still isn’t out to her parents, she takes Malika’s advice and calls her, leaving her various voicemails explaining her situation. Unfortunately, Sumi overhears and seems hurt when Alice mentions she’s completely over her ex. Looks like there’s more drama on the horizon for these two.

When she’s not giving out relationship advice, Malika is forced to confront her own issues with intimacy. Though she’s in a new and drama-free relationship with Isaac, he wants to get to know her better and she’s a closed book. They turn Davia’s trivia themed party into their own game, and when Isaac wins, Malika has to answer a few personal questions. Though she hates talking about her family, letting Isaac in couldn’t have worked out better. It’s clear that this new relationship is built to last.

Mariana and Raj have a relatively fun night, even managing to steal the disco ball hanging from the ceiling at one of the clubs. Though they clearly make a great team, Mariana is leading Raj on big time, and her countless flirtations seem to leave Raj a little disappointed. Regardless, the two decide to give their coworkers something to talk about and post a picture on Instagram, using the ship name they’ve been given in the caption. It’s unclear if their relationship will go anywhere, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t ship them a little bit. For now though, they make great friends.

Davia’s party ends on a bit of a sour note when she texts Jeff and he immediately calls her, debunking her theory that he’s ignoring her and her birthday. She finds out that Dennis told him off, and when he admits that he punched Jeff and told him Davia deserves better, Davia retaliates by telling Dennis he needs to respect himself too.

The episode ends with everyone sending important texts and making important posts, with Callie asking Jamie for a second chance on his terms, and Dennis telling his wife he does want some money out of their divorce settlement. Meanwhile, Davia is hooking up with Jeff, and just as it strikes midnight and her birthday comes to a close, she realizes she can’t keep pursuing a relationship that’s going nowhere year after year. But in  a turn of events, Jeff reveals that he’s leaving his wife. DUN-DUN-DUN.

This episode was like all the standout episodes of Good Trouble — packed full with drama. Even Brandon’s cameo was based on relationship troubles with his wife Eliza. It’s almost difficult to keep up with everyone and their plus ones and all the will they/won’t they relationships. Even those who aren’t dating their dates get into their own drama. And of course, alcohol doesn’t exactly help that situation.

So, we have a lot of relationships to dissect. Let’s start with the love square/rectangle/rhombus: Callie, Gael, Jamie and Bryan. For majority of the episode, it was difficult to tell if Gael and Bryan would be together by the end of the night. Going into their conversation back at the loft, I honestly assumed they’d break up and Gael would go straight to Callie and back to their old ways. But the writers know better than to give the audience what they expect. So even though Callie and Jamie hit a bump at the bar, it seems like they’re back on track.

Brandon was also thrown into the mix, and having had a relationship with Callie, I wasn’t sure what kind of role he’d play. But it seems like the Good Trouble creators aren’t ones for fan service, and Brandon and Callie might be a sunken ship at this point. Of course, there’s no telling what will happen in the future, and with his relationship with his wife seemingly on the rocks, anything could happen.

Now onto Mariana and Raj. I was so sure, probably along with every other viewer, that their possible relationship was over before it began when Raj got majorly rejected by her and understandably told off for attempting to kiss his coworker. But Mariana’s flirting is hard to ignore, and Raj’s pining is even harder. This could go one of two ways: either they’ll become an item and confirm their asshole coworkers’ speculations, or Raj will cross the line again and drama will ensue, especially given that he’s helping her out with an anonymous scheme at work. Let’s be real, it’ll probably be the latter. This is exactly why as much as I like Raj, I’m not committed to loving him yet. Like all the other men Mariana works with, he just can’t be trusted.

Meanwhile there’s Alice and Sumi, whose drama is getting old real quick. At this point, I get it. Alice is being strung along by her ex while helping to plan her wedding. It’s been 10 episodes of this though, and I’m ready to see Alice in  a relationship, hopefully with Joey. It felt like they’d get together after Alice was a guest on her show, so this step backwards has me a bit confused and frustrated. Sumi hasn’t developed as a character at all, sans her negative reaction to Alice’s declaration that she’s over her to Joey’s voicemail box, and even Alice seems to be stuck in place. I’d love to see an episode more focused on her getting her sh*t together, and that includes finding some real comedy work and dropping Sumi altogether.

Speaking of dropping people, I can’t be the only one who hopes Davia kicks Jeff to the curb and gets with Dennis. It’s clear that these two care about each other. Their chemistry has been visible since their duet on the roof. So though I won’t be surprised if Davia entertains Jeff for a little bit longer, I really hope she drops the zero and gets with the hero.

The relationship drama in this episode was so entertaining to watch, just like always. It’s nice that Good Trouble provides a balance between the work drama and the relationship drama, never focusing too heavily on one or the other. These characters are juggling their love lives with their professional lives, and proving that both are equally as difficult and equally as important to maintain. I’m hoping that in the near future, we get back to Mariana’s anonymous list and its repercussions, and back to Callie’s trial troubles.

Although they are the true stars of the show, it’s refreshing to get to know the other Coterie members and their diverse stories. In the end, this is what keeps me coming back for more. Minor character development issues aside, everyone in the Coterie has something about them that has me wanting to see what good trouble they get into.

Good Trouble airs Tuesdays on Freeform at 8/7c.

Jessica’s episode rating: 🐝🐝🐝.5

[chalupacabras]

(1)it's actually not 'in razorblade stores' it's just 'razorblade stores' and it's said completely separate from the 'money we made' part. they are meaning stores of razorblades not actual shops/stores. some parts of the song are referencing to not self-harm/commit suicide (save your razorblades) and they are talking about that they can only do so much to create a distraction from it. (hence, 'we'll win but not everyone will get out.' the fight against suicide...) that's my interpretation of it.

(2) if you’ve listened to them for that long, you know everything in their music has a meaning. as you’re aware, a lot of it has references to depression, suicide, self harm ect. i can’t see them now just being so careless with words and it holding no meaning. it’s fine that you’re not a fan of them anymore but give them a little more credit here. none of this is meant as an attack. just trying to maybe clarify the lyrics some..

Well, I’m not the OP of the post that got the lyric wrong, but for your convenience, I’ll put the lyric here. This is how I interpreted it.

Since this band is always singing about their fans and this community they’ve built, this community of the depressed, the few/proud/emotional, it’s a reasonable inference to say that “we” doesn’t represent Tyler solely. It represents We, that communal We he always mentions, the people who Relate To The Song. 

This just doesn’t sit well with me at all because it reinforces what I’ve come to believe–not only are they capitalizing off of mental illness and depressed youth, they’re fully aware of it. I feel like this lyric is acknowledging that they’re helping popularize cutting and self-harm at worst, and at best it’s just another tactless opportunity to slip a reference to cutting in a song that they know millions of youths will sing the lyrics to. 

In a general sense, I think it’s really irresponsible for a band whose whole brand is Depression and Mental Illness, who is aware of the demographic of their fans (troubled youth, vulnerable youth), to:

-write in self-harm and suicidal themes into poppy songs kids will sing

-use the tower of silence?????? as a theme for this album which is so FUCKING nasty of them like do not start me please i could go off like first of all it’s a religious zoroastrian practice about treating the dead and tyler himself is highly religious and has proven himself now to truly have no respect for anything that isn’t christianity (which we already knew. he’s a nasty man you can ask me about this i’ll give examples) and will happily take historical religious ceremonies to turn into theatrical metaphors for his high school depression 

-do NOTHING to help the demographic of vulnerable troubled youth they claim to care SO MUCH ABOUT, that they made all their money off of. They don’t donate, they aren’t overtly vocal about anything related to mental health–the best i have ever seen them do for mental health is say “stay alive” or make the Trees speech during concerts that thousands of their fans payed to attend, or give some corny “I’m glad you’re alive” message at some point that’s so empty and meaningless with how many times they’ve repeated it. Are you glad? How about not moving to a millionaire mansion in the woods in ohio and disappearing off the face of the earth for a year? Celebrities do the absolute LEAST, like even the lowest tier fundraising was too much to ask of the band that mental illness made rich. They can’t donate $1 per ticket sold to a mental health foundation, they can’t even tweet #lovewins or whatever the fuck because tyler has his own dick shoved so far past his tonsils that he’s peering behind his thighs to release another meaningless .;*8?????:.,…..I-/ instagram caption

You’re right though, they aren’t careless with words. Every word probably has a meaning to Tyler, but that’s just it. It only means shit to Tyler, or it’s part of an intricate and bizarre puzzle for the fans to string together. That’s objectively fine and fun, but the problem is that the fans will bend over backwards to convince themselves that every song is for THEM, that Tyler cares about THEM, gay, trans, depressed, and weird kids that he’s never met and will do the most (disappearing into his remote cabin on his hiatus, dropping off social media) to avoid at all costs. We the fans and ex-fans made them rich as fuck, lined their pockets, all for them to give not a single bit back to the community that did it. I get that everyone has to make a living, even a lavish one, I get that, but even the most selfish asshole will give a carrot to the horse who carried him up the mountain. Tyler and Josh were carried up the mountain, got off, then gave the horse not a single drop of water and disappeared, and then when they returned, they hopped onto the bare bones of the dying animal and gave radio interviews about how they were Worried the horse wouldn’t have waited.

[beepbeeprichiellc]

Pink Lemonade

Summary: Richie Tozier finds himself in a sticky situation and is forced to hide in a closet for safety. He wasn't expecting to find the space already occupied, and he defiantly wasn't expecting to enjoy the company so much.

A/N: *Warnings: Homophobic Comments, Sexual Situations/Themes.* The boys are in their senior year of high school, so 18+. I love Richie's mouth in this one, he is so sassy!! Might consider part two if people like it, if not no biggie.

Word Count: 2009

Masterlist

Part: 1 (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) (9)

The boy’s loud, lustful moan echoed against the concrete walls. Richie felt his hair being pulled as his pace quickened, knowing his already busy mouth would soon be overwhelmed. He snuck a glance at his partner, his half lidded eyes casted upwards in complete bliss and it took everything in Richie’s power not to smirk or crack a joke. The climax came quickly, forcing a sour taste down the trashmouths throat. He cringed, pulling away.

“Fuck that was good.” The large football player moaned, doing up his jeans and pushing himself away from the bathroom wall.

Richie nodded, giving a thumbs up as he walked to the sink and spit. Running the water he washed out his mouth, feeling the salty flavor cling to the inside of his cheeks. “Glad I could be of service.” He muttered, smirking over to the bulky boy. “Next time we should switch.” He joked, chuckling to himself lightly, knowing that the likelihood of him getting off was just as about as good as this losers chances of an academic scholarship.

“I’m no faggot.” The football player hissed, glaring at the lanky boy before him.

Richie turned off the faucet, raising his eyebrow, “You kind of are, I mean I literally just got you off.”

“You sucked my dick, you’re the faggot not me.” He retorted harshly, his rationality adding up poorly.

“Hmm.” Richie looked over to the jock and smiled, amused by his homophobia despite what he had practically begged him to do yet again. “The way I see it,” He mused, confidence brimming in his eyes. “If you orgasm from the stimulation of another man then you my good sir, are gay.”

“You better watch what you say Tozier.”

The warning merely slipped right passed Richie as he continued, “I mean does your cheerleader girlfriend know what you’re doing afterschool in these here bathrooms?”

“You better shut the fuck up, or I’ll-“

“I’ll have to ask her if having your dicked sucked by another male makes you homosexual or not. I’m curious about her opinion on the subject.” Richie saw the jock move and instantly threw himself to the side, allowing the oversized senior to crash into the sink. The buffoon let out a loud protest before rebounding and bolting towards the other boy.

“I’m going to fucking kill you trashmouth.” The football player bellowed, following Richie as he bolted through the bathroom door and out into the hallway.

Their footsteps screeched against the tile floor, becoming the only sound in the empty school. Richie knew he was faster than the tank behind him, who had at least seventy pounds on his lanky ass, but he also know there weren’t too many places to run to in such a small high school which meant he needed to hide.

He cut down the hall leading into the lunchroom and heard the jocks steps fall behind. Taking the opportunity he rushed into the nearest janitor’s closet, closing the door behind him tightly. His heart ponded against his chest and he let out a slow, desperate sigh of relief.

“This room is taken.”

Richie nearly jumped out of his skin at the sound of the small voice, he quickly turned around and met the chocolate eyes of a petite boy, his face swollen and bruised. The boy tried to continue but Richie quickly covered his mouth to silence him. Moving his finger to his lips he motioned for the kid to stay silent, the sound of the jocks footsteps becoming louder and louder.

There was a slew of curse words following the noise of the jocks heavy breathing. Richie smirked as he passed the closet, continuing down the hallway before turning the next corner. He chuckled lightly, feeling a weight lift itself off of his chest. “Damn, I thought he was going to kill me.” He muttered, still holding on to the small boy.

The other kid pulled his face away from Richie’s hand, narrowing his eyes at him. “Your hands smell disgusting.” He hissed, “Don’t you ever wash them?”

Richie turned to him then, taking him in fully. “Hey I know you.” He commented, smirking slightly at the memory. “You’re that neat freak who hangs with the bird boy and the stuttering kid.”

“I have a name.”

“Right, right.” The trashmouth mused, twirling his hands in the air, motioning for the name to come back. “Edmund or something.”

“Eddie.” He corrected, nearly growling in annoyance. “My name is Eddie Kaspbrak.”

“Yeah Eddie, that’s it.” The lanky boy smirked, snapping his fingers. “Hey, it’s nice to meet you Eds my dear. Names Richard Tozier, but my friends call me Richie.”

“I know who you are.” Eddie replied harshly, causing Richie to smile.

Richie faked gasped, clutching his chest. “Have we met?”

“You’re the joker of Derry High, kind of hard to miss.” He answered, sneering in his direction. “And I was here first so you need to-“

“Who’s got you on the run?” Richie asked, ignoring Eddie’s obvious annoyance. “Same kid that gave you that shiner?”

Eddie cringed, grazing his hand along his already bruised skin. He frowned, before sneering. “Henry Bowers caught me right after last period.” He explained, his eyes becoming heavy with an emotion that Richie could not pinpoint.

“Yeah, I hear that kid is an asshole.” Richie replied, trying to push down the bubbling emotion in this throat. “Real big too, got held back a few grades.”

“And you? What are you doing here?” Eddie asked, his eyes clearing of the storm within him. “I thought you could talk yourself out of anything.”

“Normally I can but I got the captain of the football team pretty heated up.” He replied, amused by truth his own statement. “He’s such a homophobe.”

“Yeah I’m aware.” Eddie added, shrugging his shoulders. “He’s got me a few times in the locker room.”

Richie felt his face flush, looking at the boy he raised an eyebrow, “You’re a queer Eddie boy?” The small boy flinched, although Richie wasn’t sure if it was from the harsh terminology or the nick name. Eddie’s gaze dropped and he merely shrugged not answering the question fully. Richie chuckled, “Well let me tell you, the caption of Derry High’s football team is defiantly gay himself so don’t take his abuse to heart.”

“How would you even know that?” Eddie hissed, leaning against the furthest wall, putting what little space he could between the two. “What are you physic or something?”

“No but I just sucked his dick and that’s about as gay as it comes.”

“What the fuck?” Eddie stammered, “Are you serious?”

“As serious as that shirt you’re wearing.” He replied, motioning to Eddie’s bright blue polo. “Been doing it for the past month and he comes quicker than the fucking road runner.”

“That’s-“Eddie muttered, shuttering. “That’s disgusting.”

Richie shrugged, tasting the lingering saltiness in the back of his throat. “What, you’ve never been with anyone? That’s just how it goes Eddie Spaghetti.”

“Will you stop it with the fucking nick-names?” Eddie hissed, shifting his weight under him awkwardly.

“So I take that as a no.” Richie snickered, amused by the boys uncomfortableness. “How do you even know you’re gay if you’ve never been with anyone?”

Eddie recoiled, looking at his feet. He played with his hands before responding softly to his shoes, “You’re supposed to love the person you have sex with and I’ve never been in love.”

Richie couldn’t help the laugh that erupted in his chest. He used his hands to quiet himself but it failed as his voice filled the air. “What you think that I loved that lug-nut?” He mused, clutching his sides. “Sex has nothing to do with love Eds, it’s all about getting your rocks off not filling your head with all that emotional shit.”

“Wow, you’re just the pride and joy of Derry aren’t you?” Eddie bit, standing from the wall. “You’re sick.”

“I’m truthful.” Richie corrected, his laughter dying down into a chuckle. “Just wait till your first time, it’s defiantly not like it’s made out to be in the movies.”

Eddie’s face was red with embarrassment. He brushed past the taller boy, opening the door and exiting. Richie rolled his eyes, following him for the simple fact he was sure the jock had given up his chase by now. “Don’t need to get mad Eds, I was just telling it like it was.” He spoke, taking long stride to catch up with him.

“Don’t call me Eds.” He hissed, walking through the hallway quickly. “And leave me alone, go blow some guy in the bathroom.”

Richie staggered for a moment, stunned by the harsh statement. He recovered quickly, hurrying through the high school doors with the other boy. “Hey, I think you owe me an apology.” He joked, taking the steps two at a time and abruptly stopping in front of Eddie, forcing him to a halt. “That hurt.” He mocked, pouting his lip and tilting his head.

Eddie scoffed and moved past his obstacle, grumbling something under his breath. Richie smiled, skipping up next tom him as they walked through the parking lot, which now only consisted of two cars, Richie’s beat up truck and what he could only assume was Eddie’s blue something or rather.

Richie found he was actually enjoying himself, completely comfortable with the small boys company. The only person who had ever made him feel so at ease was Beverly, and that had actually taken some time. No one had ever calmed him so quickly and Richie was afraid to let it end. “Is that your car?” he mused as they neared the blue painted vehicle. “It’s kind of gay you know. I mean couldn’t pick another c-“

He was instantly cut off by the boy who zombie rose from the driver’s seat. A surprised squeak dropped from Richie’s lips and he jumped back instantly. Eddie laughed, and Richie drank in the sweet sound. “Awe, what did Bill scare you?” He sneered, opening the car door.

“No.”

“W-who is this?” The boy at the wheel asked, looking over the trashmouth before scrunching up his face.

“Hey, it’s the stuttering dude!” Richie mused, pointing to Bill enthusiastically. “I’m Richie, Eddie Spaghetti and I hid out in a closet this afternoon. We had a very heartfelt conversation about the difference between love and sex.”

“W-what the f-fuck? “ Bill muttered, looking at Eddie with wide eyes.

“Ignore him.” Eddie mumbled, sliding into the passenger seat. “He’s just the schools trashmouth.”

Richie gasped dramatically, again gripping his chest. “I thought we were becoming friends! We had such a fun time in the closet.” He joked, holding Eddie’s door open with one hand smiling down at his annoyed face. “I mean we could have a bright future together Eds.”

“D-did I miss s-something?” Bill asked, turning the ignition and awaking the car. “W-what-“

“He’s just fucking with me.” Eddie bit, smacking at Richie’s hand until he dropped his grip. “He’s apparently an asshole like that.”

“So I’ll see you tomorrow then Eddie Spaghetti?” Richie jeered, clicking his tongue and shooting his fingers at the very aggravated boy. “We’ll do lunch.”

“No-“

“Okay then! Bye-bye new friends!” He cheered, closing the car door and cutting off Eddie’s protest. He watched the boy pout in the driver’s seat, glaring daggers at the school fool. The car moved, pulling from the parking space and driving out of the lot. Richie waved at them until they were out of sight, consumed by the now fading sun.

The lanky boy whistled a light tune as he strolled towards his truck, smiling uncontrollably. He thought of the small boy with the wrong assumptions of love, admiring the purity of the entire thing. Although he would never admit it, Richie found himself liking the boy. He but his mind at ease, even if he hated all of his stupid jokes or his ideas of sex.

Whatever the case, for the first time ever, Richie Motherfucking Tozier was looking forward to the next day of school.

[tessatechaitea]

Darkstars #8

Worst homecoming theme ever.

This is the last issue of Darkstars I own. I'm a little bit sad that I own this one because this cover is poo on fire. I suspect that Past Me, much like current me, never looked at the covers of the comics as he bought them. He just saw the title and grabbed the magazine, adding it to the pile to take to the register. Usually when the cashier is ringing up my comics is the first time I'll really look at the covers and I'm not the type of person to grab the cashier's hand as they pick up a comic book to ring it up and yell, "Whoa, whoa, whoa! Not so fast! This comic book looks like runny diarrhea! I'm putting it back." No, I'm more the kind of person who notices how awful the comic book looks and simply lets out a nearly inaudible, haunting moan from the deepest part of that part of me my old friend Soy Rakelson would probably call a soul. I just call it the part of my brain that's going to get the skewer first when I finally decide none of this Goddamned pain is worth it anymore. Look at this fucking terrible cover. This 90s art is the kind of art that was (and often still is) hailed as dynamic by critics and fans who never seem to know the difference between "dynamic" and "posed." This doesn't look like a shot of these idiots having just finished a battle with a mechanical bull. It just looks like they stood in line with their prom photo tickets until they were waved over and told to look at the camera and smile before being hustled off the stage for the next couple's chance at a shitty memory. It's been a few days since I wrote a comic book review because I've been busy with my other project. I set up an Artificial Intelligence program to come up with new names for Xanth novels. These are some of my favorites: Centaurs Can't Masturbate The Boner Tree Titillating Minors Makes Money The Word Bosom Fifty Thousand Times in a Row No Matter How Many Naked Women are Described, Never Mention Their Genitals Whoops! That Scene Was Too Sexy In This One, A Dragon Fucks a Duck The Human Nickelpede Seriously Though. They Can't Fucking Masturbate! Seventy Unfunny Puns and Sixteen More That Don't Make Any Sense This Book is the Merriam-Webster Definition of Chauvinism Convicting Somebody of Rape is Embarrassing for Both Parties So Maybe Just Forget About It? Whoops! I Gave a Ten Year Old Female Centaur Huge Boobs. Can We Fix This in Post? If You've Read Piers Anthony's Other Books and Enjoyed Them, Maybe You'll Like This Book That He Put Way Less Effort Into Magic Doesn't Recognize Same-Sex Relationships But a Human Can Fuck a Goat and Produce a Mutant Offspring

Oh no! Are they planning on destabilizing a region so they can send in the military and take control of its oil?

Eight issues in and I haven't discussed the Darkstars uniform. Ignore the one on the cover; the artist completely fucked that one up. Just check out the one on the panel scanned above. What's with the piano keys theme? Will we eventually learn that they're powers are tied to music in the same way the Green Lantern power is tied to emotion? Did Grant Morrison ever use the Darkstars in his Multiversity lore as the movers and shakers of the harmony of the spheres which allowed for the different universes vibrating on different musical frequencies? But most importantly: can you play Chopsticks on a Darkstars' chest? Another great (?) aspect of the Darkstars uniform is the huge arrow pointing at the crotch. Whenever I wear super tight material that hugs my junk and exposes my intimacy, I love to call attention to it. "Hey hey hey! Ladies and Gents! Have you ever wondered exactly what my cock and balls look like? Check it out! Also this isn't vulgar because you're looking at cloth and not my skin even if the cloth hugs every wrinkle and vein. So please stop trying to have me arrested." It turns out "The American Way" isn't destabilization of countries who have resources that Americans want but don't want to pay for; "The American Way" is advertising jobs for needed positions. Man, that's so boring. And yet, it's the most interesting part of this comic book series so far!

In 1993, what does "some familiarity with computers" mean? That you've used Koala Pad and wasted tons of meat by killing bears on The Oregon Trail?

I know, I know! By 1993, people no longer even remembered Koala Pad and The Oregon Trail. It's just I don't really remember what was big in 1993. AOL Chat and Myst, maybe? You might also be wondering why Carla is dressed like a lunatic. Turns out, she's taking the Darkstars to a Country Western Bar. Yee haw! I'm pretty sure the first bar I ever went to was a Country Western Bar, The Saddle Rack, in San Jose, California. It was my 21st birthday and we were there because my friend Bob and I had made a pact when we were ten that when we turned 21, we were going to ride a mechanical bull. Bob turned twenty-one 23 days before me and he also remembered that stupid pact for eleven years. I also opened some presents that night and the woman I was dating gave me a Lobo t-shirt.

Geez, we get it, Darkstar. Your entire race was murdered. Don't make us feel guilty about having fun just because your people "used to have fun too."

What a dumb question, Carla! Obviously he knows what music is. He's got a fucking piano painted on his chest. While Darkstar hits the bar, Homeless Mo hires an office manager and K'lassh destroy's Darkstar's ship in orbit. Also, I should probably stop calling Mo Douglas "Homeless Mo." He lives at the office now!

Ugh! What's with all this political correctness and virtue signalling?! Why can't this old comic book be more like, um, older comic books and just stick to bank robberies and punching bad guys? I mean super villain bad guys bent on taking over the world and not white supremacist bad guys intent on taking over America! I mean, well, you know what I mean! Just have the good guy punch the obviously bad guy who doesn't need to espouse terrible social beliefs that I might also espouse! We know he's bad! Just make him generally bad or you're going to alienate your readership! I know racism is bad! But shoving it down my throat like this just makes me think, "Maybe it's not so bad?"

That previous caption was satirical and not actually my personal feelings. See, the thing about writing is that you can write whatever you can imagine and it doesn't make the thing you've written some secret insight into the truth of the writer. It's just shit that was typed in half a second without any thought at all behind it. Except, I mean, there was a lot of thought behind it. And a lot of that thought was less about Comics Gaters types currently spouting a lot of that kind of garbage and more about comic book fans writing letters to old comics that were saying the same kinds of things twenty and thirty years before it got a stupid "Let's append -gate to another word!" name. Also, it did not take half a second. Mostly because my brain is broken and it took me forever to pull the word "alienate" out of it even though it was the word I wanted to use and I knew the definition and could almost hear the word in my head but my brain was all, "Fuck you. Why should I give you this word you're seeking? You know how many hits of LSD you rammed through me, you careless asshole? Get fucked!" Darkstar takes an interest in the mechanical bull and is all, "Aw, that doesn't look so tough! Not like this space mechanical bull from this place in space I know!" Some drunk and tough cowjerk hears Darkstar's comments and simply assumes, like I assume he always assumes, that Darkstar is emasculating him with his words.

Beau is the Lobo of the Country Western Bar.

Darkstar decides the best way to calm the situation is to ride the mechanical bull. Beau watches him and yells, "He's the best I've ever seen!" It begins to look like Darkstar's plan is going to work until some other rube tells Beau, "That guy ain't human!" Beau goes full redneck and is all, "Yeah! He ain't! That means I have a duty to try and get him killed!" He then throws the switch on the mechanical bull to "Do Not Attempt This! Dangerous! Why Did We Even Add This Setting?!" Carla cold cocks Beau to help save Darkstar even though he doesn't need help. Wasn't she listening when he told his story about the space mechanical bull in space and how it was way harder than the Earth version? Darkstar breaks the mechanical bull with his crotch and will now have to pay for the damages. It's a good thing he's saved all that gold by firing Flint last issue. I don't know if it ever happened because this was the last issue of Darkstars I ever read but I hope Beau came back as a villain and called himself Low Beau.

Dammit. Now I want cake.

Carla writes a check to pay for the damages to the bar just as K'lassh arrives. Carla decides to keep her checkbook out. Darkstars #8 Rating: B+. I don't know if this issue was better than the rest because I knew it was the last issue I was going to read or because it objectively was better. At least I didn't have to suffer through Travis Charest's 90s art. This issue was done by guest penciller Patrick Zircher! Basically that meant it looked like 80s comics which I never mean to defend when I say 90s comics art was terrible. There was a lot of 80s comic art that was fucking awful as well! But it was standard awful! 90s art was unbearable because it was objectively terrible in so many ways (anatomy, asymmetry, overuse of specific tropes) but people proclaimed it the greatest art they had ever seen. I wouldn't have minded so much if everybody was all, "Well, this isn't great but it's different. Let's see what happens with it for awhile!" Anyway, in my world, Darkstar was murdered by K'lassh and there was never another issue.

[itsjesperfahey]

modern soc au

inej: 

loves to dance !!! esp ballet but she can dance to whatever tbfh, she’s that good 

likes to wear caps, esp backwards. really loves bomber jackets too. 

has a couple, small tattoos dedicated to her saints 

is that one kid who loves to do parkour (both ironically and unironically) for instance is really good at it but sometimes just yells PARKOUR and steps over a rock

usually found eating lunch with her pals on the roof of the school 

is amazing at hide and seek like holy fuck ????? hid for 2 hours once and wasn’t found, came back the next day and was like “y'all losers SUCK" 

loves to study other people’s cultures, as well as history and is great as p.e (never has gotten a bad grade in the flexibility tests) 

likes to read poem books 

has a black cat as a pet named "saint" 

pronounced meme as "mehmeh” the first time she read it 

only has snapchat and instagram. is that kid who ALWAYS posts the sunset every day, esp from weird/high places and the comments are always “HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET UP THERE" 

cried the most during fox and the hound 

always braiding nina’s hair. Knows how to do all the super advanced onces as well

"I don’t know, CAN YOU?" 

 the best one at pushing people on the swings 

AMAZING AT JUST DANCE WITH JESPER 

"sorry I ran out of fucks to give try again later maybe?" 

gives the nicest presents. always knows what a person wants for christmas/their birthday 

the one who’s really into photography and is always taking aesthetic™ pics of Nina for her social media accounts 

Prefers tea over coffee

wylan:

bullied for not being able to read (at least up until high school), so is super shy 

loves drawing. the artistic™ one who takes anatomy to be able to draw people better 

MASTER FLUTE MUSICIAN. On the school band. Jams hard af when he plays it 

is in gem math and AP chem with kuwei. 

loves sweet. addicted to blue jolly ranchers. his tongue is always blue 

constantly pushing up his thick rimmed glasses (even if they ain’t on, which causes him to poke his eye)

looooves all the superhero shows on the CW 

V neck sweaters. always

always has his trusty satchel

only has tumblr. has like 10k followers because of his artwork. 

”‘illuminati’ ? is that a band?“ 

cat person even though he’s allergic to cat fur. absolutely adores inej’s cat. settles for owning a horned lizard named "shrek" 

secretly a huge fan of memes 

really gay for tom holland and ed sheeran (calls him "ginger Jesus”) 

gamer with jesper. they always play overwatch together, wylans better tho. a genji and Ana main 

cried the most during big hero six 

wylan, with blank eyes: “I like my coffee how I like my men” // jesper: *spits out his drink* 

matthias: 

sports fan obv. On the schools hockey team bc his fav is hockey. is extremely competitive when he plays it. Is constantly checking but never gets penalties (aka slamming the other players against the walls)

played basketball against jesper and surprisingly lost. jesper won’t let it go 

dog person. owns a pet pomsky (Pomeranian-husky) with nina who’s name is “bub" 

“long hair don’t care”draws inspiration from Harry styles 

really philosophical. takes all the philosophy/ethics classes available 

kind of sounds like Thor (thick and deep accent) 

a good™

"you’re all horrible trash”

“do we really have to be doing this now? I have to finish my homework" 

loves baking. bakes everything for the love of his life 

grey sweatshirts and adidas shoes 

wears contacts Because he hates how glasses look on him. only wears them when he’s home 

oblivious to all the women in love with him

"CAN YOU EVEN LIFT BRO? BECAUSE I SURE AS FRICK CAN” (doesn’t curse) 

real 👍🏻🤘🏻👌🏻life🤰🏻👼🏻🌱student📚✂️✏️athelete🏃🏼🥇🏆🥅🏒

has Facebook and Twitter only

cried the most during bambi and dumbo 

little spoon™ 

has a couple tattoos with very deep meanings

jesper: 

dancer with inej. dances like those ppl who look like robots ??? the ones who look like they freeze parts of their body while the others move. AMAZING at it 

loves jazz but also dubstep/edm and rap/r&b. Beyoncé is MOM/QUEEN. 

sometimes djs parties 

again, huge gamer with wylan. he’s a lucio and junkrat main for overwatch. loves like every video game ever 

loves all the marvel movies, in love with black panther (was team cap) 

dresses like a hipster but also sometimes a fuck boy (tank tops and shorts with a backwards cap style) 

favorite subject is business and debate. great negotiator 

cried the most during the lion king 

A+ cosplayer (especially his lucio cosplay) 

big supporter of human rights (LGBTA+, feminist, black lives matter, poc representation). Will LITERALLY get into fights over anyone who thinks otherwise. Fist fights, always supported by Kaz and Matthias. Got suspended for 3 days for breaking a kids nose who thought LGBTA+ people should **** ** ****) 

that one kid who has 50 fidget spinners and can do cool tricks with them. also manages to sell all of them 

skateboard pro™ 

always sends the blinking face meme, even if it’s out of context 

all the social medias. 

one tattoo only of a gun with a 'bang’ flag coming out of it 

nina: 

 PROFESSIONAL👏🏻 MAKE 👏🏻 UP 👏🏻 ARTISTS 👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 HAS HUNDREDS OF THOUSANDS OF FOLLOWERS ON HER INSTAGRAM AND THE SAME FOR HER YOUTUBE CHANNEL 

Speaking of YouTube, she always does cute videos. Baking/cooking tutorial videos featuring Matthias, 'i do my boyfriends makeup’, 'my boyfriend does my makeup’, 'my boyfriend buys my makeup’, does make up tutorials obviously, challenges with her best friend inej like the 'whisper challenge’. everyone loves her and says her and Matthias are their otp 

loves fashion design, takes that class. 

loves horror movies/creepy things but also Disney 

great at roller skating 

always wins the best dressed awards ad school 

also huge fan of ed sheeran. loves little mix more than 5h. 

cried the most during 'up' 

Can speak like 4 languages (English, french, Latin and spanish) 

loves traveling and learning about new cultures too 

dancer!inej’s biggest fan and hockey!matthias’ biggest fan 

always breaks snapchat streaks 

likes to (friendly) debate with jesper, especially over stupid things 

amazing with kids. babysits all the time. calls “bub” (the dog) her and matthias’ baby 

big spoon™ 

notes are so fucking pretty. buys the most expensive stationary and notebooks 

also huge supporter of human rights. runs the feminist club. (Jesper is the Vice President) stresses loving yourself and your body, and makes sure to design comfortable yet GORGEOUS clothes for “"plus sized people”“ 

wins 'dynamic duo’ award with inej 

always eating lollipops 

has a few very small tatos of cute things like roses and crowns. has one quote written in cursive on her rib

kaz: 

prefers black coffee as well 

loves crime shows, whether they’re real or fake. for instance loves both 'Dateline’ and 'Criminal Minds’ also loves 'House’

 favorite class is psychology, learning how a person thinks and acts and feels

has the dregs tattoo on his arm * edge lord 9000™ * such a drama queen and diva like damn 

*deep sigh* "I think I’d rather go take a nap” *gets up and leaves* 

also loves computer science. knows how to hack shit like a pro 

always rough housing with jesper. broke a table once 

does walk with a cane. likes to slap matthias’ ass with it 

“bow down you fucking peasants" 

only types in lower case with 0 emojis and no punctuation marks. CONSTANTLY leaves people on read 

only has Twitter and snapchat. His posts on snapchat never have captions, yet somehow has a 200 day streak with Jesper and a 250 day streak with inej 

loves watching horror movies with nina 

 *in a fight* "oh I’ll sHOW YOU SOME DIRTY HANDS” *swings* 

gets second place for best dressed award 

always sending memes with no context in their group chat, as well as vines 

indie and alternative rock fan 

“does it look like I care because I’m sorry if it does I didn’t mean to give you that impression" 

head over heels for inej Ghafa like wow 

likes to read a lot of mystery books and non fiction books 

cried the most during finding dory 

can solve a Rubik’s cube under a minute and won’t let you forget it 

The one asshole who picks either Kirby or metaknight in super smash brothers brawl

 hates seeing the notification bubble so he always has all chats muted and notifications turned off for apps 

kiss ass to all the teachers to get them A’s

Kuwei: 

SCIENCE NERD. ALWAYS singing the bill nye theme song. Loves ASAPScience on YouTube. Master at chemistry and biology 

"hey did u know bill nye is, like, my dad" 

nina treats him like a baby 

loves everything to do with Star Wars while wylan loves star trek more. Fighting ensues. 

has a pet Siamese cat name sparky 

Used to have a huge crush on jesper and everyone knew it except jesper. 

knows the intro to the bee movie ("according to all known laws of aviation-”)

 jesper in the group chat: “gonna go shower be right back” // kuwei: “without me ;)?” // wylan: “KUWEI SWEAR TO FUCK” // kaz: “watch your fucking language wylan" 

obsessed with Pokémon go even if it died out (chose team instinct) 

"fight me on this" 

has Twitter, snapchat and instagram 

Always drinking ginger ale 

master at bop it 

the one kid who always forgets to pay you back for stuff 

is also into the CW super hero shows, so him and wylan are constantly talking about it 

loves cartoons and anime 

speaks fluent fuckboy 

God awful at comebacks 

"let’s take a selfie guys !!!” // “kuwei no-” // *snapshot sound* 

talks !!! Like !! This !!!! for,,, some reason ???????? 

huge nerd for other things too like lord of the rings and Harry Potter and game of thrones 

cried the most during inside out

 "do you think planes are scared of heights?“ // "for fucks same kuwei it’s 4am”

[thecupcakeconsumer]

The Numbers Don’t Count

JILY CHALLENGE | @thecupcakeconsumer vs. @prongsfoots

Social Media AU Theme: “shoot, i was stalking you on Instagram and accidentally liked a photo from 235 weeks ago”

Notes: Why is this up early? Well, that totally has nothing to do with my procrastinating on math and english and history homework... featuring it’s an AU so I’ll change whatever I like.

The time, her clock read, was 1:37AM – exactly four hours and twenty-three minutes before the same phone that she held in her hand would blast the same alarm as the default tone and she'd moan loudly, trying to turn it off without opening her eyes to the bright, unwelcome light.

Of course, Lily Evans was a little too busy stalking James Potter on Instagram for it to really register.

His account went years back and it seemed as though he'd never deleted anything – not even, she was finding, the photos of him before he'd started to transition.

She couldn't help it – his account was public and he was cute.

He'd been tagged in the most recent picture of their mutual friend Remus Lupin, and here she was, her curiosity having led her to a picture of the pre-transition boy and Sirius Black with the caption “More than friends? Never – we're both too gay.”

She lingered a little too long, and froze when the familiar heart was filled in with red.

“Oh, no,” whispered Lily. “No, no, no no no.”

It was bad enough that she'd been stalking him.

Now, she'd liked a picture from – what was that date? - March 24, 2013.

Four and a half years ago.

As if that wasn't bad enough, it was of him pre-transition: she'd look like a jerk.

Mary and Marlene would either be asleep or out drinking if she texted them at this hour: thus, asking her friends for advice was out of the question.

Should she like every picture so she didn't look like a bitch? Or would that seem too stalkerish?

Would he even notice?

She scrolled up to the top of the screen: @deerestjamie had 254 followers, and was following 409.

Cool, cool, cool cool cool cool. He wouldn't notice one like out of more than three hundred photos, would he?

Obviously, the best solution was just to leave it be and stop stressing, she resolved, putting her phone on the charger and flipping around to turn away from it.

(And yet all twenty minutes it took her to get to sleep, she couldn't stop thinking about it.)

Light streamed in through the narrow opening between the curtains, a bird chirped outside, the fall day just barely cool enough that one could wear a sweater or a t-shirt – of course, none of this mattered to the iPhone whose alarm was about as welcome to its owner as a sheep in heat would have been that morning.

“Oh my God,” murmured Lily, blindly fumbling for her phone and begrudgingly opening her eyes, her relief at managing to turn it off eclipsed by the Instagram notification – a DM from @siriuslyy.

She opened it, and was met with nothing more than “(ง'̀-'́)ง".

“Yeah, real eloquent, Black,” murmured Lily, before realizing there was also a screenshot that seemed to be taken from James's account of her having liked his picture, the only notification for the entire day.

Well, shit.

“Wait, why does Black have access to Potter's account?” murmured Lily, before shaking her head and rolling begrudgingly out of bed, deciding to address it after she got ready for work.

Sirius glared at his phone screen as he sat back on his chair during lunch, feet up on the break table even if he technically wasn't supposed to be lounging as such.

'I know you've seen this message Evans' he tapped out, sending the message, his lip curling when it registered as read almost immediately.

'Is it usual to have access to your best friend's Instagram?' came the sarcastic reply.

'There's nothing usual about us' Sirius answered, then adding, 'Is it usual to like a picture from over four years ago?'

A pause.

'Okay, listen.'

'Listening.'

Grabbing his water bottle off the table, Sirius easily opened it and started to drink, watching with slight amusement as she hesitated.

'I'll explain, but you can't tell James about this.'

'I can't control what the man does and doesn't notice.'

Not that James really would notice, considering almost a third of the pictures were posted by Sirius and he had turned notifications off so as to focus more on his work.

However, it wasn't as if anything would stop Sirius from standing up for James.

'Okay listen I stg I don't have a problem with his being trans – that's not why I was on his profile. Liking that photo was an accident.'

'Was being 3 years back on his profile an accident?'

Another pause, longer than the first.

'No?'

'Look, I have to go.'

And with that, he knew he'd lost her.

Damn.

He’d been having such fun.

“Hey, Lily,” greeted Remus, looking up from the book he was absorbed in when the bell at the door rung.

“Remus, your boyfriend is kind of an asshole.”

“Sirius? We know that by now, but since when do you know him?”

“You know he helps run James's Instagram?”

He blinked. “Since when do you know James? I mean, we all know by now that they're co-conspirators on about everything, but-”

“He was in your most recent picture. James, that is.”

Remus tilted his head to the side, as if trying to gauge what exactly Lily was on about, before realizing.

“You thought he was cute, didn't you?”

She flushed red.

“N-no, that's not what I – not that he isn't, but-” Remus smirked, which did nothing for her comprehensibility.

“I can't blame you, he's always been fairly attractive. Not my type, of course, but you wouldn't be the first who's fallen for him.”

“I did not fall for James Potter!” exclaimed Lily, flailing her arms and flinching when her hand hit one of the bookshelves in the small store. “Ow. Ow. What was I saying? Oh, right, I'm not falling for James Potter! Please. I don't even know the man.”

“Sure, sure, that's what they all say. You know, he's single?”

“He is?” asked Lily, before smacking herself internally when she realized by the way in which he only smiled wider that she'd managed to play herself. “Not that I care. That's great. Lots of people are single these days. Being single is the new being taken.”

“Played yourself, Evans. Now, what were you saying about Sirius? Wait, don't tell me.”

He put down his book on the counter, before walking around to the other side to examine her more closely. “You mentioned Instagram, and the fact that he's cute-”

“I did not-”

“Oh, please. What would Sirius have noticed, then? You know they both run his account, maybe you left a comment on a photo? No, you're that desperate… but stalking him?” Her involuntary twinge was all he needed. “You were stalking him and accidentally liked an old photo. Classic.”

“That's not fair,” murmured Lily, crossing her arms. “You're not allowed to come in here and smart-ass me-”

“Actually, you're the one who came in here, might I remind you. Not that you're unwelcome – it's been a while, hasn't it? And besides, you wear shame so well.”

“Remus!”

“Fine, fine. What do you want me to do about it?”

Her bottom lip jutted out. “I don't know. What am I supposed to do? Is he going to be upset?”

“Who?”

She raised her eyebrows as if it was obvious. “James?”

“Over… your liking one of his old pictures?” Lily nodded furiously. “James?”

“I don't know him!”

“Okay. Think of it this way. James is like the old man who sits in his chair reading the newspaper, and Sirius is like the overactive dog who barks at every disturbance.”

“So…?”

Remus shook his head with a laugh. “He's unlikely to even notice, and if he does he won't care, Lily. It's not a big deal. But – whatever you do – don't let him find out.”

“Because…?”

“Pretty girl like you stalking his Instagram? The man's ego is already big enough that it's a wonder he can fit through a door.”

She sighed in relief. “Oh, thank God. Thanks, Remus.”

“For?”

“For being the smart-ass you are.”

“Me? A smart-ass?” he asked in a bad impression of offense, subtly pulling out his phone and snapping a picture of her in the doorway, looking askance with a smile. “Why, I never.”

“Hey, Moon!” called out James as he entered the shared apartment, throwing his keys on the table and wincing when they fell short.

“James. Good day?”

He nodded, bending down to pick them up. “Great. Actually, work was pretty boring. Paperwork. Buuuut, I saw a cute girl today.”

“She work with you?” asked Remus conversationally.

“Nope!” answered James. “Actually, I didn't see her. Wait, no, that's not even true. I saw her, but like, not in person? I saw a picture of her, that is, taken in… what's your bookstore called again?”

“Lily?”

“No, no, that's not what it's – wait, is that her name?”

His friend smirked. “You know, I have her number.”

“You do?” asked James eagerly, wincing as his voice cracked on the last word. “Wait, seriously? You're not joking?”

“Do you want me to call her?”

“No!” He froze. “Wait, no. I mean, yes. I mean, maybe – you don't just call someone up. Aren't calls outdated? She probably has a boyfriend. Or a girlfriend. Then again, being single's on the up-and-up again. It's like being single is the new being taken. What was I saying? Oh, right, Lily. Pretty name. Pretty girl. Okay, I'll call her.”

James pulled out his phone confidently, before stopping. “I don't have her number.”

“I know, James.”

“I'm sorry, I'm just nervous.”

“I know, James.” Remus held out the phone with a grin. “Here. It's ringing.”

“What?!” squeaked James, hurriedly taking it from him. “Remus, you don't just-”

“Hey Remus, called to torment me?”

Even her voice had him in love.

“This isn't Remus.”

“Is this Sirius? I swear to God going through your boyfriend to get to me is just low.”

“What? No! You know Sirius?”

“Wait, if it's not Sirius, then who is this?”

He grinned. “It's James.”

A dramatic pause, then, “I hate you, Remus.”

“Oi! I'm not Remus! That's offensive, he has no taste in men.”

“I'm right here,” piped up the man in question, but was quickly shushed.

“Aren't you friends with Sirius?”

“Doesn't mean I want to date the man. Anyway, Lily, Lily Lily Lily, what're you doing this Friday night?”

If Remus had been drinking tea, he might have spit it out.

“This Friday night? No plans.”

“Great. Want to go out with me?”

A high pitched squeak resounded on the other end of the line, making it hard for James to discern whether or not it was from the technology itself or from his contact.

“Er, Lily?”

“That depends. Does Sirius have access to your phone too?”

“Not too often.”

“Give me your number and I'll be ready at eight.”

Waggling his eyebrows at Remus, he quickly gave her the number, unable to stop the corners of his mouth from spreading.

“I have no clue when I became your wingman.”

“Oh, shut up, Remus, you know you love me.”

“And?”

“And I love you too, Remy-poo.”

James sloppily kissed Remus on the cheek with a wet smack, nothing able to dull his mood.

Not even when he walked into his own door and found it closed, hitting it head-on.

“Adoorable.”

“Quiet, Moony.”

[deluxedolans]

Your Nest

Summary: Y/N, Ethan’s girlfriend, describes her favorite place to be: her boyfriend’s lap.

“You’re such an asshole,” Ethan chuckled, staring down at the comment you were about to post to Grayson’s most recent Instagram picture; your head rested in Ethan’s lap as his long, and nimble fingers ran through your hair therapeutically, his nails tickling your scalp. Ethan’s shirtless chest was in full display, and you could feel the warmth it radiated as your bare cheek rested against his abdomen and your head was placed comfortably against his sweatpants-clad legs.

The photo Grayson had posted was a picture of him on the beach at sunset that Ethan had taken; Gray was looking off to the side of the camera, laughing at you, who could not be seen, as you dumped sand out of your sneakers with a scowl on your face, as Grayson had his back to the picturesque landscape of the rolling waves with the sun setting in the background. In typical Grayson fashion, he struggled to come up with a caption, and defaulted to using beach themed emojis as a cop-out, with a smirk, you posted your comment, which stated, “this picture had some serious potential until you posted it with this weakass caption.”

Of course you were kidding—your friendship with Gray was such a joking one; you’d be roasting each other one minute and getting serious about life the next, and as Ethan’s girlfriend, you naturally got along with his brother too, especially since ironically, you were closer with Gray first since you were friends long before you even met Ethan.

As you and Ethan giggled at your comment, you heard feet stomping down the hallway, and a huff: “Y/N!” Grayson called out as he came into the living room with one hand on his hip, and the other holding his phone out.

“Look, don’t get salty at her because you posted a pic with a lame caption, she was just helping you out, bro,” Ethan defended, patting your head affectionately.

“I couldn’t think of anything, okay! And you guys didn’t have any ideas either,” Grayson snapped, gesturing to you two cuddling on the couch.

You raised an eyebrow, “listen, I’m the reason behind your laughter, and therefore the reason for this high-quality photo, I can’t do all the work for you, Gray,” you replied sassily, amused at his frustrated expression.

“Dude, now everyone is gonna see that and roast me on twitter now, everyone always sides with your comments,” Grayson whined, looking at his phone as he scrolled through his Instagram notifications.

“Maybe that’ll motivate you to come up with better captions then!” Ethan exclaimed, widening his eyes sarcastically. Grayson narrowed his eyes in annoyance.

“What are you guys watching anyway?” Grayson asked, turning towards the TV to see what you two were watching.

You shrugged turning your attention to the TV; The Notebook was on and it was the scene where Allie and Noah had sex for the first time in spite of Allie’s engagement to Lon.

“We’re watching our sex tape, Gray,” Ethan stated, wiggling his eyebrows as he poked your side.

“Ew—fuck this, I don’t even wanna picture that,” Grayson complained, putting his hands in the air as if to protect himself from the scene on the TV unfolding in front of him.

“Relax, Grayson, it’s just The Notebook,” you explained, sitting up from Ethan’s lap to give Gray your full attention. “If we were to release a sex tape, you’d be the first to know,” you retorted, lying on your side seductively across Ethan’s lap, as your boyfriend raised his eyebrows in mock seduction, eventually letting out his signature wheeze at Grayson’s horrified expression.

“I am not editing that, E, for that, you are on your own,” Grayson yelled as he walked down the hall, waving his finger in the air for emphasis, “night, guys!”

Ethan and you called out good night in unison, resuming our positions with one another on the couch; your head in his comfy lap, and his hands continuing to soothingly run through your silky locks. As Ethan gazed down at you as you continued to scroll through your phone, he thought about how he still couldn’t believe how well you fit into his life; your sense of humor, your drive, your intelligence, your kindness and patience, sometimes he worried you were too good to be true. Even the way you interacted with Grayson just then reminded Ethan how well you fit in amongst his family; you were the type of person who could take a joke as well as dish it out, someone who was always down for anything, while also knowing when to sit down and have a serious discussion.

“If I was Allie I’d be so pissed and I’d never be able to forgive my mom,” you said suddenly, breaking Ethan from his trance. The scene in The Notebook that played was the one in which Allie confronts her mother of how she hid Noah’s letters to Allie for months, leading Allie to believe that Noah did not in fact care about her at all.

“Why?” Ethan asked, confused as to what part of the movie was unfolding in front of him. You adjusted your body so you were still laying in Ethan’s lap, but instead of facing the TV screen, you were facing him, your head still in his lap, with his hazel eyes gazing down at you.

“Allie’s mom kept the letters that Noah wrote to her hidden from her for years. Years! Those were years they could’ve been together; years they could’ve been snuggling watching Ghost Adventures in bed together, or eating McDonald’s jamming out in the car, or banging in the shower--,” Ethan raised a brow at that last part. “Banging in the shower, Y/N, really?”

“They could’ve been! Whatever, I’m just saying, how much time was wasted just because the mom didn’t like the idea of Allie being with someone from the wrong side of the tracks; it literally blows my mind how fucking narrow minded people can be,” you stated, feeling your face get hot with emotion; at this point you could see Ethan squint his eyes in interest at your mini outburst; as soon as you started listing off the activities that you did, he immediately knew that this conversation wasn’t just about Allie, Noah, and Allie’s mom, this was clearly about your relationship and something was bugging you.

“Babe, what’s wrong?” Ethan prompted, seeing you tuck your head into your chin, hiding your eyes from his prying gaze.

“Nothing—I’m just frustrated, E,” you said quietly, finding a loose thread on the end of your tank top and wrapping it around your finger until it turned white from the lack of circulation—anything to avoid looking into Ethan’s eyes, so he could fully see the insecurity consuming your face.

As soon as you had posted your comment on Grayson’s Instagram, you had received a plethora of replies, most funny and positive, but others that were nagging, and never going away; mainly saying that you were using the twins for money to pay for your college fund, when in reality the twins hadn’t paid for a damn thing. In spite of the fact that you knew that you weren’t using the twins for their fame and fortune, it still killed you inside that people, people who loved and supported the boys thought you were merely associating yourself with them for your own personal gain, you knew your intentions, but it didn’t mean that it still didn’t hurt.

Ethan paused, waiting for you to continue; in an attempt to comfort you and to get you to look at him again, he put his large hand on your cheek, his thumb gently caressing it.

You sighed, “I know I’m annoying, and I know I shouldn’t let it get to me, but I can’t stand when people say I’m using you guys for money. I love both of you so, so much, and I love your fanbase, so it just makes me mad when I see people commenting that I’m fucking you for money, and I only post on Grayson’s Instagram, so I can stay relevant. Like, I’m literally paying for everything on my own, and I know I’m gonna have mountains of debt to pay off, but I’m going to feel so much better and accomplished knowing I did it independently, and I’ve always believed that—,” “I know, baby, I know,” Ethan cut in quickly, nodding, his hand continuing to run through your hair and stroke your face simultaneously.

“And I know I know who I am as a person, and I know you both know who I am, but it fucking sucks that there’s people out there who literally just automatically see me as a money-sucking leech, Ethan. I love you. I love watching Ghost Adventures with you, and bumping to Cudi in the car with you, and waking up to your knee in my back in the morning, even if it’s uncomfortable and obnoxious, but that’s what I signed up for. I didn’t sign up for your bank account, I signed up for you.” At this point, your head was still in his lap, but instead of being off to one side, you were laying flat on your back, with your eyes look at his straight up; tears pooled in your eyes, from both frustration and anger.

You made a move to sit up, when suddenly Ethan’s hand held your face firm, yet gently in his grasp, leaning down to kiss you. His kiss was everything you needed; strong, reassuring, loving, and passionate, all of the things you needed to remind yourself that he was yours; it didn’t matter what a small population of the universe thought of you, he was yours and you were his, the only people who needed to know the true nature of your relationship was you two.

“You know who you are, and that’s why I fuckin’ love you, Y/N. You’re not afraid to call me out on my bullshit, when I’m being a dramatic-ass. You’re not afraid to be weird as hell with me and watch Ghost Adventures with me. You’re not afraid to chase your dreams and live your life without fear of what anyone else has to say. I know why you’re with me, I see you; I know who you are, and I love you—all of you. At that, you gripped Ethan’s neck and pulled him down for another kiss, his tongue slipping into your mouth. Your hands moved from the back of his neck to both of his cheeks, as he took your lead and leaned down to get closer to you. Ethan’s arms reached to pull you up by underneath your shoulders so you were sitting up fully, your body twisting to straddle him on the couch, with the romance movie becoming mere background noise to your heated make-out session.

Ethan’s hands moved from your shoulders to your hips, holding them tight, as if to express how much you were his, and how strongly he felt it in his heart, as your scent invaded his senses, your sweet smell of vanilla perfume flooding his nose and overwhelming his system with familiarity and love at the girl sitting on his lap. Ethan’s hands traveled from your hips to underneath your tank top; his fingers tracing up your ribcage and to the underside of your breasts, teasing you as you leaned closer into his mainly frame. You locked your arms tight around his neck to get closer to him, your lips making wet sounds that turned you on, causing you to grind your core against Ethan’s in an attempt to get some friction.

At your movements Ethan let out a harsh exhale, to which you smirked, your confidence growing with the effect you had on him. In retaliation, Ethan’s hands continued to roam underneath your shirt, his thumbs tracing the underside of your boob lightly to get you worked up, in which he was successful, as you leaned in deeper to his touch; his hands feeling like static as they raced across your skin.

“Fuck, Ethan, just touch me already,” you whined, your hands going for his forearms to lead him to your tits, so you could feel at least a bit of relief. Ethan chuckled under his breath, quickly removing his hands from underneath your shirt and pinning them in front of you.

Ethan then placed his arms underneath your thighs and stood up, walking towards the bedroom, as he went back to kiss you; silently informing you that he was moving this party into his bedroom. While the idea of fucking you on the couch was appealing, and incredibly hot to Ethan, the idea of Grayson walking in on you two was very much not, especially with the very high possibility of Grayson seeing you naked. There were many things he’d had to share with his brother throughout the eighteen years they’d been alive, but the sight of you so vulnerable, gorgeous, and unclothed was not going to be one of them.

As Ethan approached the bedroom he kicked the door open fully, and kicked it shut moments later, giving you two the privacy you would most definitely need.

As Ethan walked towards the bed, you two continued to move your lips in sync, our arms wrapping tighter around his neck to secure yourself in spite of Ethan’s beefy arms. Suddenly, you both were crashing down to the ground; you ended up on your back, sprawled out on the floor like a starfish as your head hit the hardwood floor hard, and Ethan ended up falling on his hands and knees in an attempt to catch himself as he tripped over a pair of sneakers he had left in the middle of the floor.

“Oh shit, Y/N, are you alright?” Ethan asked, leaning forward to assess your status and to help you sit up, putting his hand beside your head as you inhaled deeply in an attempt to steady your breathing. Upon your fall you had gotten the wind knocked out of you, and you could feel tears begin to leak out of your eyes in both pain and shock at the fall. You tried to calm yourself down, mainly so Ethan wouldn’t freak out, because you knew he fucking hated it when you cried, especially if it was on his behalf.

As you continued to lay on the ground, like a stunned idiot, your hand clutching your chest for air, Ethan grew more and more anxious that you were seriously hurt.

I swear to God if she broke her back I’m gonna have Grayson beat the shit out of me, Ethan thought to himself.

“Babe, what’s wrong? Talk to me,” Ethan’s voice wavered, as he placed his hand that wasn’t supporting himself above you behind your head.

Tears leaked out of your eyes as you started to regain a normal breathing pattern, the shock your body experienced finally fulling hitting you, and as much as you tried to be a bad bitch and shake off the pain in your back, that fall hurt.

“I got the wind knocked out of me, give me a second,” you explained, holding the wrist that supported your head. Ethan let out a sigh of relief that it wasn’t more serious, letting out a nervous laugh.

“Wait, babe, why are you crying? Are you okay? Fuck, Y/N, I’m such an idiot, I should’ve put my fucking shoes away--,” Ethan rambled, running a hand through his hair in frustration, his thumb tracing your cheek to wipe away the tears that had escaped your eyes.

“Babe, I’m fine, it just scared the shit out of me, you dropped me on the floor, not off a cliff,” you joked, sitting up slowly, propping yourself up with your hands spread behind you.

“Y/N, are you sure you’re fine? Let me see your back, I just wanna make sure you’re not seriously hurt--.” “E, I’m fine, I think it shocked me more than anything else, baby. I’m good,” you reassured him, sitting up fully to crawl into his lap. “Just do me a favor.”

“OF course, babe,” Ethan said, looking at you intently.

“Please, for the love of God, pick your shoes up off the fucking ground,” you commanded with a smirk, flicking him in the chest. Ethan smirked back, standing up slowly, reaching his hand out to pull you up from the ground.

“Only I could ruin the mood by dropping you on the fuckin’ ground,” Ethan stated, chuckling to himself, laying down on the bed, his arms behind his head.

“It’s part of your charm,” you remarked dryly, climbing on the bed and leaning your back against his stomach, settling down in his lap. At this point Ethan began to stroke your hair, kissing you softly on the head, your eyes fluttering shut at the feeling.

“Wait, who said the mood was ruined, though?” You asked turning around quickly, and placing your hands on Ethan’s chest, raising an eyebrow suggestively.

“I guess no one,” Ethan remarked, surprised that you still wanted to do anything with him after you ate shit on the ground due to this mistake.

Suddenly you started giggling, as you leaned forward to kiss Ethan fully on the lips, your fingers moving to run through his hair and scratch at his scalp just the way he liked. “Why are you laughing?” Ethan asked, his eyes hooded from lust and tiredness as he broke the kiss to make eye contact.

“Because only we could recover from practically falling to our deaths on the floor and go back to our sexual activities,” you reasoned, putting both of your palms on Ethan’s cheeks, squishing them together affectionately. You adjusted yourself in his lap, beginning to feel his hard-on form.

“We didn’t almost die, Y/N.” Ethan rolled his eyes, “you’re coming for my brand with this drama queen bullshit.”

“Oh, would you just shut the hell up, you boob.” And with that you reached for his face to pull him closer to you, your lips dancing along with his own, as you sat in his lap; it was like your own personal nest, and it was for sure the safest, and most inviting place in the world.

[universitykpop]

Right In Front Of Me; Part 2

PART 2 of 2

Member: Chanyeol

Genre: Angst, mature themes, high school & college au

Words: 1,244

Based on real events

part 1

Tears threatened to fall as you quickly typed out a sentence on your Snapchat picture. You couldn’t believe how much you had embarrassed yourself in front of the whole class while giving a presentation. There was only one person you knew would make light of the situation. Just as you entered the sophomore dorms, he responded.

Chanyeol’s winking face showed up for five seconds with the caption, “At least you looked cute doing it.”

Your heart nearly stopped. What was he doing? You had a boyfriend, and he was still with that girl from high school.

-

“I don’t know why he’s acting like that!” You sniffled into the phone, “He hasn’t even texted me back the last few days. I don’t know what to do anymore.”

“He’s just an asshole. He doesn’t realize what he has.” That deep voice came through the speaker that made your heart flutter when it shouldn’t have.

Ironic… Just as ironic as him in high school…

“Chanyeol, what do I do?”

“I-I don’t know.”

“How did you break up with your ex?” You knew you shouldn’t have asked, but you had never broken up with anyone before.

There was a deep sigh before he went into his story.

-

You sat comfortably on Krystal’s bed. It had been a couple years since you had seen her, and it was nice to hang out and joke around with her and Amber again.

“Oh, my god. Remember when Chanyeol confessed his love for you?” Amber laughed, looking at Krystal.

“What?” Your smile faded as you looked between the two other girls.

“He texted me over the summer saying he had been in love with me since we were thirteen. It wasn’t a big deal.” Krystal waved it off.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” You asked, hurt evident in your voice.

“I said it wasn’t a big deal.”

“It is a big deal. You knew I liked him all these years. I literally just told you he’s been talking to me. He told you he loved you while flirting with me.”

“It’s not like I feel the same way, Y/N. All he said was that when you and Amber asked him about his ideal type back then, he described me, and then confessed he loved me. I was just like ‘oh.’ And the conversation died. I swear I didn’t feed into it. You know I have never liked him.”

It didn’t matter what was said. You felt like a fool. The guy you had been in love with for eight years never really loved you like he said he did.

-

Your eyes slowly started to flutter shut. The night before you had stayed up late to finish a paper due at midnight, and now you were sat on the couch, head on his shoulder and movie on the TV.

Just his warmth made you feel safe and comfortable. Falling asleep on him was inevitable. But it was quickly pulled out from under you when he jumped grabbing your sides to scare you awake.

“Chanyeol!” You scolded.

“I didn’t invite you over to nap. I want to spend time with you.” He complained before turning his attention back to the screen.

Was your presence not enough? Was your wellbeing not important?

-

The excitement in the room was building as the time ticked closer to midnight. All the dreams of a New Year’s kiss were finally going to come true. Friends from high school were scattered around the room anticipating the clock striking 12.

Your stomach was doing flips when it turned 11:59. You looked to the boy sitting next to you, a small nervous smile reaching your lips. Almost as if he sensed it, he peered over at you and leaned close to your ear.

“I don’t want to kiss in front of all of our friends. Is that okay?” Chanyeol whispered.

All your hopes shattered, and you could almost hear your heart break.

“Yeah… That’s fine.”

-

It happened so fast. You thought it would have been more romantic. You thought he would have looked into your eyes, and there would have been that moment where you just felt so in love. You thought he would have cared about your pleasure just as much as his own.

But instead, he finished, got up, and tossed your shirt at you. There wasn’t any cuddling or sweet kisses afterwards. The moment wasn’t done for you. You wanted more than what had just happened.

“Get dress, so we can go get food.” Chanyeol said as he buckled his jeans.

You nodded and followed his commands. He drove you through your favorite fast food place and ordered your usual meal. Food wasn’t going to satisfy what he didn’t.

As he began to take you home, your annoyance was clouding your mind.

“Chanyeol?”

He hummed in response.

“I… I didn’t finish… when we were at your house.” You mumbled quietly.

“I know.”

That irked you.

“Then why did you end it so early?” Your voice slightly raised.

“If you want to finish, you have to work for it.”

At that point, he pulled into your driveway, and you were ‘finished’ with the conversation.

“Okay.” You left his truck and slammed the door behind you.

-

“Y/N?”

“Huh?” You snap back to reality and look over at your boyfriend.

“Did you hear me? My grandparents really liked you. They never talked that much to my ex when she met them.” Chanyeol speaks as he drives you back home.

“Oh… That’s good.” You answer curtly.

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. Just thinking about things.” Your gaze is forced out of the passenger window.

“What things?”

“Do you ever wonder what would have happened if you had picked me instead?”

“Y/N…” He sighs, clearly tired of the subject of the past.

“I’m serious, Chanyeol. Do you realize how much shit would have been avoided if we had started dating in high school?”

“Why can’t you get past our history? I’ve already apologized.”

The car pulls into your driveway and parks.

“There are things where sorry isn’t going to fix it. This is one of those things, Yeol. It isn’t going to make up for the years I spent watching you love someone else or the emotions I felt. You thought I was annoying for liking you while you were falling for my best friend. Our past is so fucked up,” You finally look him in the eyes, “I don’t hate you for it, but the pain is still there.”

It becomes silent as he thinks through your words.

“I’m sorry I’m not the person you were hoping I would be.” His eyes drop to the steering wheel.

“I’m sorry too.”

“This just isn’t working.” He says just above a whisper, and you nod.

“Maybe… Maybe we should end this.” He suggests, still not looking at you.

“Yeah.”

“I’m really sorry this is happening on Valentine’s Day. You don’t deserve this.”

“It’s fine. If it’s not working, it’s not working,” You shrug, “Thank you for coming all the way out here. I do appreciate what you’ve done for me. Text me when you make it back to your dorm, so I know you’re okay.”

He finds your gaze again with wide, innocent eyes. “I will.”

You offer a small smile as you slip out of his car. You don’t feel sad or happy. You feel numb while watching your first love drive away. Some things were never meant to be.

[abbyfdenton]

Late Night Jokes Packet

I submitted a packet to one of those late night writing fellowships. Nothing’s gonna come of it, so here, if future submittees want to compare their packet to some random asshole’s work:

Topical Monologue Jokes

Pharmacy giant CVS recently finalized its purchase of health insurer Aetna, a deal that entered negotiations two months ago, making this the fastest anyone has bought anything at a CVS.

A drunk man took the Internet by storm when he entered a Waffle House late at night and found the staff asleep. He helped himself to the kitchen to cook himself dinner and, like far too many Waffle House patrons, forgot to tip.

Facebook has announced an instant messenger app just for kids under 13. In other news, former Alabama Senator Roy Moore was spotted registering a new Facebook account.

Some cinema owners, desperate to pry moviegoers away from Netflix, have been releasing fake snow and gusts of wind at pivotal points in the movie Coco. I guess they're trying to attract the pivotal longshoreman demographic. We've tried immersive movies for years. In the sixties theaters had electrified seats and scratch-and-sniff cards. More recently, the 3-hour runtime of Justice League made you feel like you'd been stuffed in a dark hole after getting all your bones broken. Chief of Imax Richard Gelfond was skeptical of these techniques and said, "The great revolution will be in virtual reality and augmented reality. Perhaps there’s a dinosaur in a movie and you see them sitting next to you.” (This actual quote is probably goofy enough to get a response, but if not:) I like to imagine Gelfond's dream project, about a wise-cracking, movie-watching dinosaur.

On Sunday the scheduled demolition of the Pontiac Silverdome, once home of the Detroit Lions and the Detroit Pistons, completely failed to trigger an implosion, making the Pontiac Silverdome Detroit's most intact building. Onlookers hoping to see a Detroit landmark fall to ruin were disappointed to learn they'd picked the wrong scheduled demolition that day.

Phone giant Apple recently broke with Dialog, the company making its microchips, and decided to start manufacturing their own. Amish experts were brought in to assist with the production of Apple chips.

In Pittsburgh a cow has now escaped from a live Nativity display twice, both times found walking along a major highway, away from the Nativity and... towards a mall, which I think is more than a little heavy-handed. The Baby Jesus remains at large.

A surgeon in the U.K. pled guilty to burning his initials onto patients' livers while he performed organ transplants. A gruesome case, but if you really want gruesome – how did they check the livers? Generally, you put your initials on rocks, or trees – things you know will last a long time, right? I say, this just proves he was confident.

A Connecticut town councilman recently resigned after a political opponent discovered that he'd spent years under a penname writing furry erotica. You'd think the giant mascot suit would have given him away. (Super an image of a guy in a furry mascot suit in the middle of a city council meeting) “Will the terrifying dog-man from Bridgeport yield the floor?” Meanwhile in the furry community a respected writer faced censure from his peers when it came to light he had been participating in degenerate human society. (Super the legend: FOUR LEGS GOOD, TWO LEGS BAD)

Meanwhile a town in Ireland recently complained that fumes from a nearby factory producing Viagra were affecting local dogs in, uh, a Viagarrific way. A Connecticut town councilman was quoted as asking, “Where was this?”

The UK has begun punishing people who have used Bitcoin to launder money. It took five years to reach that point for a product with the slogan “Bitcoin: We're for Doing Crimes.”

A New York woman was accused of funneling Bitcoins to ISIS. The Bitcoins totalled a US value of over sixteen thousand dollars... No, just under eight thousand... No, right around fifty-seven thousand dollars.

A report recently asserted that the computer farms processing Bitcoin use more electricity per day than the entire country of Denmark. Many people are saying this proves Bitcoin is a force for global evil, but have we considered that Denmark just doesn't use enough electricity? They let the wind do all their milling. It's a waste of perfectly good wind.

Australia recently voted to legalize gay marriage, which is wonderful news for everybody, especially for my side business selling young people excuses not to commit. (Super an appropriate fake business logo, perhaps of a blue footprint. SLOGAN: Cold Feet? De-Devote.) Notably 80% of the Australian voting public voted in the gay marriage referendum. 80%. In America we're lucky if 80% of the public can spell gay marriage referendum.

A prosecutor in a Chinese mortgage fraud scandal was quoted today as saying, “If everyone is doing it, you can't put them all in jail.” Michael Flynn was quoted as saying, “Bullshit!”

President Donald Trump recently attracted accusations that he was attempting to ignite more violence in the Middle east today when he referred to Jerusalem as the true capital of Israel. Less clear, however, is whether this is a change in US foreign policy or just a guy who doesn't know the capital of Israel.

Refillable desk bits

The Paris Review of Goosebumps

Two very pretentious figures provide contrasting scholarly reviews of an indefensibly silly kids' book, such as Baby-Sitters Club, Animorphs, etc, starting off debating themes but always devolving into schoolyard slap-fights.

Coming of Age

If a bit is risky or seems like it might not land in front of warm bodies, prep a contingency plan – the stage darkens, the host turns to look off-stage thoughtfully, and a voiceover is delivered by an older, folksier voice than the host about the bit's failure and what we've learned. Think: Stand by Me. “Now, I don't know why I thought they'd go for a photoshop of a dog jet-skiing over some dolphins. I guess back then I was a fool.”

Stuff We Did Before the Internet

In light of the FCC's commitment to rollback net neutrality, the host brings someone out to demonstrate past-times and hobbies people had before the Internet which may return to vogue, such as reading books (which the host tears apart while trying to figure out how to turn them on) or hand-churning butter.

Your Dad Explains the News

The host puts on a bad fake mustache, sits on a chair backwards and has a talk with the audience about something he doesn't understand. He loves comparing things to World War II documentaries, and most stories leave him wondering, “Why are these boys so angry?”

Regular Guys Riding a Bus

Following from the assumption that 90% of all problems would be solved if the rich and powerful had to bump noses with the average joe on public transit, the host conducts a political interview from the back of a city bus. A lot of the fun would come from the inconvenience – stop announcements interrupting the guest mid-sentence, stuff like that. Ideally the host and guest pause to offer seats to new passengers and switch positions as often as possible.

Next Week Tonight

Technically 2 segments:

1. A few predictions of what will happen in the coming week – not out of nowhere, upcoming events, releases, etc. Essentially predict results that are either comically bad or impossibly good. “The running of the bulls in Pamplona will cause an unusual amount of property damage, but the bulls will stick around to help rebuild.”

2. Footage of the previous week's predictions, contrasted with similar or completely dissimilar things that happened. Will tend toward gallows humor.

Segment is presented by the host and a shady gangster figure, whom it is implied extorts and bullies the host for gambling on these future predictions.

Animal House Epilogue

Take a clip from a movie or current events, freeze frame over different significant figures, and caption what happened immediately afterwards. e.g. Han Solo: Recovered from stab wound, now manages a Denny's.

Last-Minute Recast

The host interviews two guests, but gets their names mixed up. When they try to correct him, he laughs and says he's not going to fall for their “prank.” The guests attempt to remain in-character and answer questions on behalf of each other, even launching into convincing and obviously fake anecdotes about working on movies they weren't in, until a “producer” comes out, whispers to the host, and the mix-up is cleared up.

Normie Brewster

Soleil Moon-Frye complains about managing an Old Navy.

The Prophesied Return of Urkel

Jaleel White appears and begins to upstage the host much like how he replaced the original main cast of Family Matters. The jealous host banishes him in increasingly bizarre ways, by calling security, by winning an arm-wrestling match, or through a Charlie Daniels-esque fiddlin' duel. It is implied that Jaleel White is some manner of leprechaun.