#turkey with exploding clothes.....

[ma-chi1993]

if hima does the exploding clothes thing again i might not survive

[itsgivingmami]

No Time- Rhea Ripley

Summary; you and Rhea are hosting Christmas dinner for the first time

WC: 474

Warnings: suffocatingly domestic fluff

This is so much shorter than I usually write🫣

Also thank you so much for the love on my first couple stories, always appreciated💛

The warm glow of the oven light warms your face as you lower in front of it, checking the bird for the hundredth time, anxiety pulsing in your chest.

“Darlin’,” you stand quickly at the sound of your wife’s voice, she leans against the door frame in her slacks and button up, “it’s not going to explode if you look away,” The grin on her face annoys you, how was she so calm about this?!

“I just want it to come out good,” you explain fiddling with the dish cloth in your hand. Your ring sparkles in the string lights you put in the window, you polished it earlier and made sure to pin your soft curls in place and donned a red dress in effort to look like a good host,

“It’s going to be amazing,” your wife insists coming to stroke your bicep with a tattooed hand, “and if it’s shit we can order pizza,” you pull away and whip the towel at her and she jumps away laughing. You roll your eyes and despite her fucking around you do feel better, tossing the towel towards the sink.

“Oh fuck me,” you sigh as it hits the edge and falls just short onto the floor, your attention soon pulled from the smirk you’re getting from Rhea, “Not an invitation,”

You stick your arm out with a finger up, you both really should finish getting the house together but she takes a step towards you. You stand straighter with your arms folding across your chest, refusing to back down.

“I mean it,” you argue trying to convince her which might’ve gone better had you actually been convinced yourself. She stops just in front of you and leans down to stare you down face to face and hums deeply. “We… we have no time,” You feel your cheeks getting warm and mentally curse, people who said marriage is boring were wrong.

“Rhea,” you warn one more time as her hand comes up to your chin and pulls it upwards and forward. Her breath is warm next to your ear and you shiver at the feeling,

“Turkeys on fire,” she whispers and you whip around to the oven where the bird is cooking just fine and then back to her. You slap her arms and she bursts out laughing before grabbing your hands and pulling your back flush against her body.

“That was mean,” you whine as she rocks you both gently in the kitchen, her lips place soft kisses along your jaw, her hands running down the front of your hips

“Lemme make it up to you,” tempting… but you hold your resolve, turning around and throwing your hands around her neck,

“We have no time,” you tell her again and stand on your toes to press a quick peck to her nose before moving to walk into the dining room. “Come help me set the table!”

[millerskitty]

Running If You Call My Name

❥ dbf!joel / f!reader x joel miller

❥ (18+) nsfw

❥ reader insert

❥ medium burn, no outbreak au. some timelines are changed to fit the story.

dividers by @/saradika !

warnings: pure smut, hand on throat, not quite choking, cunnilingus, daddy kink!!!!, dominant!joel, rough sex, protected piv, dirty talking

word count: 1.4k

author’s note: oh my god ~ the love that this story has received has made me so happy to continue writing and sharing with you all. tysm for the comments!

masterlist

Chapter 9

Pop was in Odessa for work again and Sarah was hellbent on spending Thanksgiving camping with her friend Dex and their family. It took some convincing, but Joel gave in eventually, gearing her up with bear spray and her own large tent. You would be left alone with Joel which was both exciting and nerve wracking. Little sparks of anxiety flew around in your stomach as you wondered how things would play out the moment you were alone together.

Work had let out early for you the day before the holiday. You stopped at the grocery store for a very hectic last minute shopping trip to prepare a small dinner for the two of you. You grabbed a bottle of wine and a chicken to roast; a turkey wouldn’t be appropriate for a party of two. You planned to also make honey roasted carrots, macaroni and cheese, roasted potatoes and a cherry cheesecake pie for dessert.

Joel knocked at the door as you were putting the groceries away, letting himself in after a beat. You walked over to greet him with a kiss, burying your fingers in his hair. You tugged at the short strands that tangled between your fingers and Joel moaned, squeezing your hips possessively. He walked you backwards until your back met the wall, breaking the kiss to bury his face in your neck and nip at the tender spot that drove you crazy. You squealed when he grabbed a handful of your ass.

“Well hello to you too, sir.” You giggled.

“Need you baby.” He said, his voice gravelly with lust.

“Um, now?” You squeaked.

“Now.” He said, leading you to your bedroom.

He wasted no time at all pulling your clothes off. You helped him by shimmying your jeans off and he pulled them down and off of your ankles, pushing you back onto the bed. Joel pulled a condom out of his wallet and tossed it onto your bedside table. Your body was ten steps ahead, heat pooled below your navel and you felt your panties sticking to your soft flesh beneath them. You’d be lying if you tried to deny that they were soaked from imagining this very scene playing out in your mind.

You chewed on your bottom lip as you watched him pull his shirt over his head and toss it onto your bedroom floor. The sound of him unbuckling his belt sent shivers down your spine. You leaned forward and unhooked your bra, tossing it beside his shirt. Joel’s reaction to your naked body never failed to amuse you. When his cock sprang free, you had to keep your own jaw from dropping. He was well endowed and without a doubt the most impressively hung partner you’d ever had.

Joel practically pounced on you, taking liberties with your breasts on impact. His delicious teasing was met with your whimpers and moans filling the silence in the air. When he hooked his thumbs into your underwear and pulled them down, you reflexively tensed. You were his, you knew this. But you still shied away from his gaze when he came face to face with your sex.

“Don’t close your legs, open up for daddy.” Joel said huskily.

“Hmm,” You whined, obediently following orders.

“Atta girl.” He practically dove down between your thighs and smothered your soft mound with kisses. If there was anything that man loved it was devouring your cunt. His kisses became suckling on your tender flesh, leaving little wet bite marks over your thighs and mound.

He was driving you crazy, the ache at your core was growing so quickly you thought you might explode at the first contact of his tongue to your clit. You almost did. He gently licked a stripe up your slit and then pulled your folds apart to directly press his tongue against you. Your back arched involuntarily and your thighs threatened to smush his head.

“Be a good girl and take it for me.”

“Joel…” You whined. You thought you were taking it already.

“I’ll let you come soon, just let daddy have a taste first.” He said, going to absolute work on you.

His tongue lapped at you with a desperation that could only be described as love. He was eating you like you were his last meal on death row. You were ruined, absolutely ruined for anyone but him. No other experience you’d ever had could compare to the heaven that was Joel Miller’s fucking mouth.

You were whining and moaning, your fingers gripping onto the sheets on your bed. You were nearing the peak of pure bliss, crying out for Joel to keep going as if he was showing any indication of stopping. He slipped two large fingers into you without warning and it was the last nail in your coffin. He’d barely nudged that soft spot that made you fall apart when your walls began to flutter around his fingers.

“Fuck, give it to me, baby.” He said, lapping at you like a starved man.

Your walls clenched down repeatedly around his large digits and your hips bucked forward as you rode out your orgasm against his face. The white hot bliss was blinding; You had no idea how you’d gotten from point a to point b so quickly, but you were in no state to ask questions. As the waves of pleasure stopped Joel slowly removed his fingers, licking them clean. You blushed, hiding your face in your pillow and retreated back into your shell.

“Nuh uh, show me your pretty face, baby.” Joel said, pressing his weight down onto you.

“How do you do that to me?” You whined.

“Do what to you, darlin’?” Joel smirked, pulling the pillow off of your face.

“Make me lose my mind like that?”

“I spread those pretty legs and put my mouth to good use.” You felt his own arousal poking at your hip and suddenly you felt recovered, arousal coiling below your navel once again.

You leaned forward and kissed him; the taste and smell of yourself was sweet, slightly acidic and sensual. You tried to slide off of the bed to get onto your knees, but Joel grabbed your wrist.

“I need inside, baby.” He said, reaching for the condom on the table beside you.

You nodded, kissing his shoulder, as he unwrapped and rolled the condom on. Joel leaned forward, guiding you onto your back and positioned himself at your entrance. He leaned over you as he lined himself up with your aching sex. He gathered your slickness and groaned as he pushed in, your warmth swallowing his cock. He was halfway in when he retreated and then fully sheathed himself inside of you.

Your moans were loud, melodic and raw. He was stretching you out, the sound of skin slapping skin made you blush. He fucked you with pure need, his eyebrows furrowed as he buried himself to the hilt, teasing your cervix. Your whining and panting only spurred him on.

“Fuck, baby, you fit so perfect around me.” Joel grunted as he leaned down to suck on your bouncing breasts.

“Mmnnneed you daddy.” You moaned, locking your legs around his waist.

“Can I hold you like this?” Joel cautiously pressed his hand around your throat.

“Only if you press harder than that.” You whispered and you swear you fell in love with him the moment the words left your lips and you saw his eyes darken.

Joel pressed down firmly on your throat. His thumb stroked your skin, tickling you as he pounded into your cunt. You were nearing your second climax, the familiar throb was building up and threatening to send you toppling over the edge.

You reached down between you and began to circle your clit with your own two fingers.

“Fuck, that’s a good girl.” Joel panted, his strokes becoming deeper, slower..

“Yes, yes, yes.” You whimpered as he split you open with his cock. Your eyes nearly rolled back into your head as he lost his rhythm, his hips faltering. A telltale sign that he was crumbling, losing control and about to find his release. You rubbed faster, coaxing your orgasm right to the edge, waiting for his command.

“Good, good girl.” Joel said, pressing into you once, twice and finally burying himself into you completely. He called out your name, telling you to follow him and you did. You shattered around him, burying your face into his neck as he dropped his weight on top of you. He went perfectly still and you felt everything. His cock twitched and throbbed as your warmth clenched down, milking every drop of come from him. He grunted in your ear, slowly pulling out and peeling the condom off, disposing of it in your trashcan before collapsing beside you and pulling you onto his chest.

“You’re mine.” He said, his voice rough and tired.

“Always.”

tag list: @foxin5billion, @persiar9, & @victoriaholland

[shortstrawberry]

How the Resident girlies will spend Christmas with you as Christmas is just around the corner.

(credit to amazing @pyramantic for the pics)

1. Bela

Bela gives you the greatest Christmas gift she could get you: taking a day off.

Bela's way to relax with you is to take you both away from home related drama. So she'd fly you away to a European country for a white Christmas. How about Germany?

You both would walk hand in hand around the snow laden streets of Berlin, enjoying the Christmas spirit.

Bela's favourite Christmas drink is mulled wine. She loves to make it personally for you. You love the warm and sweet spicy taste of it.

2. Donna

You and Donna had to keep the flower shop open during the day, as a lot of people buy last minute flowers. However, you and Donna both made sure to spend a lot of time together decorating the shop for Christmas.

Donna keeps on holding the mistletoe over you. You of course have no choice but to follow the tradition and kiss her. Not that you need any tradition to kiss your soft Italian florist.

In the evening you both decide to celebrate in the beautifully decorated shop itself. You both set the chairs and table and Donna sings Italian Christmas carols for you. Having Christmas dinner surrounded by red and white roses is a experience you'll never forget.

Donna's favourite Christmas drink is Bombardino, a Italian christmas drink quite similar to eggnog. Angie often tries to spike it. You let her do it, because drunk Donna is a adorable Donna.

3. Cassandra

Cassandra is a total Broadyway bish and she'll be taking you to catch the The Christmas Spectacular show in New York.

After the show, you both would be go to Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree and take so many cute selfies together that your phone memory would explode.

Cassandra and you would soon have enough of crowded New York streets and just retreat back home. There you both will order in some pizza and spend the Christmas night cuddling and watching musicals.

Cassandra's favourite Christmas drink is hot buttered rum. It is warm and cosy and not boring, just like Cassandra herself.

4. Angie

Angie is your resident party girl, but for Christmas, she'll stay home, with you. She wants to spend the next morning waking up with you without a hangover.

Still, there would be some drinks around. But nothing too boozy. Angie would spend Christmas cooking together with you and watching Italian soap operas with you.

Angie and you would also play a lot of board games. Especially Jenga, where you would loose for the umpteenth time. Getting drunk regularly has given Angie a excellent sense of balance.

Angie's favourite Christmas drink is Limoncello, a sweet and tangy lemon drink with dashes of alcohol. It's something that both you and Angie can enjoy without getting completely hammered.

5. Daniela

Dani is all about creating the perfect romantic dates for you. So she'll set up lights and Christmas decorations at home for the perfect Christmas date.

Dani all throughout the dinner (that she herself cooked) would tell you about the Christmas she spent at Dimiterescu Mansion. Hearing how close the Dimiterescu sisters were during childhood would always bring a smile to your face.

You and Dani after dinner would dance around the room on Christmas songs. Dani would especially loudly sing "All I want for Christmas is you".

Dani's favourite Christmas drink is a simple hot chocolate. She makes sure to put extra marshmallow on top of yours.

6. Alcina Dimiterescu

You would spend the Christmas with Alcina at her extravagant Dimiterescu Mansion. Alcina has made sure to deck every floor with Christmas decorations.

Alcina has also made sure to have her personal chef make a feast for Christmas. Stuffed turkey, buttery mashed potatoes, you name it, it's there on the table. Alcina makes sure you have a little taste of everything by her own hands.

Later, you and Alcina would spend the Christmas night painting together. You'd model in Santa clothes (how skimpy is your imagination) while Alcina happily paints on her canvas.

Alcina's favourite Christmas drink is Catena Malbec Wine. She serves it to you with a side of cheese and cured meats.

7. Miranda

Miranda bestows upon you the greatest Christmas gift she could ever give you: taking a day off.

Miranda is a homebody, so Christmas with her would be a homely and cozy affair. She would make a comforting dinner for you. You would be sitting on the kitchen counter and just watching her move around as old Christmas songs play in the background.

Miranda and you are both bibliophiles, so it's no wonder you both would curl up on a large comfy chair together and read Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

Miranda's favourite Christmas drink is Vișinată, a Romanian sour cherry brandy. Miranda makes sure you drink it slowly so that you don't get too drunk.

And that's it! I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!!

[ravennaortiz]

Stuffed- A Best Friends Daughter Story

Summary: Kozik and you indulge in more risky behavior on Thanksgiving. More than just the Turkey was stuffed. As always 18+

“Gotta run to the store for a few things for the kid” called Tig as he made his way to the front door with the list you had given him.

“No worries man. Want me to stay and help her or come with you?” inquired Kozik as he stood up. Closing out of the app for the vibrator that he had been controlling for the last three hours. Torturing you as you cooked Thanksgiving dinner.

“Can you help her? See if you can get her to sit and rest. Shes all sweaty and red, crying too. Taking this dinner a bit to serious if you ask me” replied Tig as he opened the door and stepped out.

Kozik chuckled as he made his way to the kitchen. His hands already working on his belt and zipper.

“Thought we got all everything on the list?” he inquired as he got in the kitchen smiling.

“We did. I just need you to fuck me, can’t wait” you stated as you yanked your dress up, panties already at your ankles as you bent over the half full table. Kozik laughed as he moved over to you fingers sliding through your arousal before he pulled the vibrator from your pussy.

“Such a needy little whore” he cooed as he pushed his fingers into you making you whine as your body clenched around him. “Can’t even wait until after dinner for Daddys cock” he continued before delivering a slap to your ass with his free hand.

“Daddy please” you moaned as you jerked from the slap.

“I’ll give you a quickie now but once your dad is asleep I’ll make you pay for not being a good little patient girl.” Stated Kozik as he shoved his pants and boxers down. Pumping himself a few times before thrusting into you without warning. Kozik teased you, taking you to the edge but never letting you fall over until the rumble of your dads bike cut through your whines and whimpers. With one last thrust he sent you over the edge as he poured his release into you right as the front door opened.

“Got everything, had to go to three stores” stated Tig as he walked into the kitchen. “Looks like water spilled love” he called as he stepped in a puddle by the table

“I got it” called Kozik as he winked at your reddening face.

Later that night

You were lying in bed when your phone went off.

Get naked and on your knees.

Tossing your phone to the side you shed your clothes. By the time Kozik opened your bedroom door you were on your knees, legs spread, hands behind your back with your mouth open. “Good girl” stated Kozik as he shut the door and walked over to you. He gave you a pat on the head before slipping his thumb down to your tongue. “Daddy’s going to stuff all your holes tonight and you are going to be a quiet little mouse” he stated as he worked his pants down letting his hardened cock bob free.

You kept your eyes on his as he slowly pushed his length into your mouth. Stretching your lips as he slid into your warm heat. “So good” he groaned as he slid all the way down your throat. Thumbing the tears that slipped down your cheeks. His pubic hair tickled your nose as he held you in place for a couple of minutes before starting to thrust in and out. You use your tongue to flick the underside of the head of his cock each time he enters your mouth as he slowly thrust in and out of your mouth. Soon though he is violently fucking your face, fingertips digging into your flesh to leave bruises. Making you gag as he cuts off your air supply over and over. He smiles down at you as drool bubbles out around his cock, leaving trails that glisten down your bouncing tits to soak the carpet below. He can feel himself about to exploded when he yanks you off and lets go of your head.

You pant and do your best to remain upright. Trying to get as much oxygen into your burning lungs as you can. Shivering under Koziks gaze and the chill in the room.

“Such a dirty whore. Look at the mess you made” he chuckles as he looks from the puddle between you to the one between your thighs. “Getting off on Daddy throat fucking you” he continues as he starts to strip. Once he is naked he grabs his cock and slowly pumps it moaning as he circles the sensitive tip, smearing his leaking precum around it.

You swallow hard as you watch him. Lips trembling as you try not to whine. “Want this?” he asks as he looks down at you. When you nod he moves to your bed and sits down, back against the headboard. “Crawl” he orders. Obediently you turn and crawl with your head down until you get to the edge of your bed. “Beg” he commands with a snap of his fingers. Quickly you move so that you look like a dog begging for a treat, tongue out and panting.

“Get on” stated Kozik after he gave you a pat on the head ruffling your hair. Quickly you made your way onto the bed and onto his lap. He helped you lower yourself onto his cock, each of you letting out a little moan at the feel. Your body already clenching around him as he held your hips roughly. Fucking up into you, you could do nothing but take it. Your orgasm washed over you causing you to scream out as you jerked on Koziks lap. No sooner had you realized your mistake then a sting to your face had your head jerking to the side.

“I said be quiet whore” gritted Kozik though his teeth as he quickly repositioned you so that you were on your back. His hands wrapped around your throat as he thrusted in and out of you. You dug at his forearms as your vision tunneled and another orgasm had you flying into an ocean of pleasure.

Kozik slipped out of you as you squirted. Growling he let go of your neck and roughly moved your legs to his shoulders before pushing the head of his cock into your ass hole. You whimpered but made no move to stop him. To weak and sleepy from your orgasms he had already pulled from you. You whimpered as he impaled you on his length, back arching up as he toyed with your clit. “Gonna fill this ass” he growled as he started thrusting erratically before he finally poured his release into you.

Return to Series Masterlist

[rodolfoparras]

My brain is exploding

Gaz having male reader under him in front of the tree, telling him to stop squirming or else the ornaments could be hurt or broken but not even 5 minutes later it’s Gaz begging reader to stuff him like a damned turkey🫠

Significantly going crazee-🐁

Usually Gaz doesn’t get the chance to fly home during the holidays since he always ends up getting assigned some random mission.

However this time he actually manages to get some time off but he chooses not to tell you about it so that he can surprise you with a visit.

When Gaz told you he wouldn’t be able to come you’d been sad of course but you tried to enjoy the holidays anyways so you went out bought some of your favorite food and drinks and went back home again

When you walk into your apartment you don’t notice anything out of the ordinary until you go to your bedroom and see gaz laying on the bed with Christmas lights surrounding him.

You freeze in place, not expecting him to be here , and for a second you think that you must be imagining it all until you hear him chuckle and you snap out of your thoughts.

“What- i - how?” You say sounding confused as ever while walking up to him but he just smiles in response, whispering the words surprise before he crashes your lips together

“Not funny” you say in between pecks

“Worth it though” he mumbles against your lips.

“Mm - fuck what are you wearing?” You say trailing your hands down his chest, feeling the frail material of his lingerie under your hands.

“Your present” he whisper into your ear before he nibbles on your ear.

“Fuck me” you grunt out, feeling blood pool to your lower half.

“Oh I plan to,” he says as he flips the two of you around so you’re the one laying in bed before he straddles your waist.

This time you get a full view of the red lingerie he’s wearing, hands reaching out to touch him but just as you do so he clasp your hands together before tying them up with the Christmas light

“What-“

“Nuh huh im the one taking care of you tonight,”

“Oh is that right?” You say with a brow raised.

He just hums in response before he slots yours lips together.

“Alright then” you sigh out, relaxing into his touch “take care of me”

And take care of you he does, with a kiss here and there as he strips your clothes off, using his mouth and hands to push you over the edge multiple times before he straddles your waist and sinks down on your cock

He looks like an absolute sight with the Christmas lights bouncing off of his skin, lingerie barely staying on him, eyes squeezed shut and mouth agape as he works himself up and down your length

But it’s not enough for him and it’s clear to see.

“Come on, Kyle untie me” you say voice breathy and strained,”let me take care of you yeah?”

[gorgon-goddess-of-chaos]

Bat

The title for this one was too good to pass up. I wanted to make him a bastard but he just became way too adorable.

Vampire!Author x GN!Reader, TW: gore, murder, bloodsucking, implied attempted kidnapping Words: 728

You’re walking home alone, not the wisest decision but it’s done out of necessity. You were feeling unsafe as you were out with people, something just felt off. So without a word to anyone else, you left. Your hand grips tightly around your key ring, slotted between your fingers in an effort to make you able to do more damage. If needed, and you pray that you don’t need to.

A puddle splashes behind you and you pull out your phone, using it as a mirror. Shit, someone is following you. A larger car starts driving slower on the street coming in the opposite direction, and you realize how fucked you are. You recognize the guy behind you from the restaurant, and dread sets in. Do you have anything else to defend yourself with?

You pass an alleyway and another man steps out, and you think you’re done for. He pushes you behind him as he lets out a growl, lunging at your stalker with a barbed wire coated bat. The man is barely able to scream before his head explodes into gore, and the car speeds off.

Your defender turns around, coated in blood with glowing golden eyes.

“Are you alright?”

“I, I guess? Thank you?”

You watch in horror as he slings his bat over his shoulder, tearing off the man’s arm and sinking his teeth into it like it’s a turkey leg. It takes you a moment to realize he’s not eating the man, but drinking his blood. When he drops the arm, you catch a glimpse of his fangs as he licks his lips clean.

“Would you like me to walk you home? It’d make me feel better knowing you got home safe. Not like I can come in anyways unless you invite me.”

Somehow, that does make you feel better, although you’re trying not to look at the mutilated corpse that lays on the sidewalk at your defender’s feet.

“Sure, that’d help me a lot.”

“Lead the way! I’m Alric, by the way.”

He shines a smile at you, avoiding shaking your hand so as to not get blood on you. The two of you talk, and you’re shocked at how jovial he is. Usually vampires are depicted as dark and broody, but he seems to be rather humorous and sassy. He lights up as he gets you to laugh, trying to keep your mind off him murdering a guy and how unsafe people can feel at night.

The two of you get back to your place, and he walks you to your door. Once your door is unlocked, he turns to go, but stops when you call to him.

“Would you like to take a shower? Get the blood off you?”

Alric freezes, not expecting you to say that.

“Are you sure? You do know the rules, right?”

“It’s the least I can do, and I enjoyed your company. And if you’re still hungry, I have some steaks in the fridge.”

“As long as they’re the meat steaks, I’m down.”

He laughs as you hold the door open for him, thanking you profusely. You let him wash his clothes too, lending him a robe while they dry. He stops in his tracks as he catches you trying to clean off his bat, mid-towel drying his hair.

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I wanted to. It’s alright.”

He squints at you, looking at the table and seeing a steak on a plate and a glass of red wine.

“I didn’t know if you drank water, but I figured you’d want something to drink.”

Alric just stands there, staring at you.

“Why are you being nice to me?”

“You potentially saved my life, and I think that you should repay good deeds.”

“And the vampire thing doesn’t bother you?”

“Should it?”

You make him pause, holding the towel around his neck.

“It usually does…”

“Well, it’s almost daylight and I don’t want you getting burned. So if you need a couch to crash on or some other kind of sleeping arrangement, I can make something work.”

“Oh, I can just sleep upside down as a bat. Here, look.”

He poofs into a bat, hanging off of your arm as he pulls a laugh from you. He poofs back, grinning big.

“Thank you. I mean it.”

“Thank you, for getting rid of that guy.”

[headhedgehog]

Part one, Part two

“Hey Barou, how’s your girlfriend?” 

Kyoji sighed but didn’t turn away from their locker. Haru clapped a hand on their shoulder.

“Your team captain asked you a question, Barou.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend, Isagi.”

“That’s funny, I’ve seen you taking my leftovers home every day for a few weeks now.”

Kyoji tsked, still not looking at Haru. “Have you always been this disgusting?”

“Big talk from the one who can’t even seal the deal with the easiest girl in school.”

“If she shot you down and you’re still so obsessed with her, doesn’t that make you the pathetic one? ”

Haru shoulder checked Kyoji as he turned to his own locker. “Watch your mouth, Barou.”

Kyoji decided to consider this a win.

—--------------------------------------

No matter how carefully Kyoji avoided the subject, Haru had been correct. Walking Keiko home had become a habit. It really wasn’t intentional – Kyoji just wanted to help her avoid Haru for those first few days. But Keiko turned out to be much more interesting than Kyoji suspected. It turned out they were both bookworms, and although she didn’t play football she was as obsessed with it as he was. They were surprised to learn that she loved art and theater, that she helped with costume design for school plays and community productions. Keiko frankly made them feel boring, but she never treated him like he was. She seemed interested in what Kyoji was reading, how their football season was going. Their conversations after school quickly became the best part of his day.

“So Barou,” Keiko said one afternoon as they stood in front of her house. “My dads got some really great comp tickets for the U-20 match against Turkey, but they’re both going to a Blue Lock reunion thing. They said I could use the tickets – do you wanna come with me?”

Kyoji’s brain short circuited, his mouth forming an answer almost automatically. “I would love that.”

Keiko smiled, and Kyoji felt lightheaded. “Great! I’ll text you the details tonight – here, put your contact in my phone.”

She handed them her phone and pretended not to notice when they almost dropped it.

—--------------------------

Match day was bright and calm; the mood in the Kunigami-Chigiri household was not.

“Keiko! We’re leaving in ten minutes, you good?” Kunigami called from the foot of the stairs. He got a frustrated groan in response. He sighed and trudged up to his daughter’s room.

“What’s the issue now?” Kunigami asked. He leaned against the doorframe and dug his fingernails into his palm to distract himself from the piles of clothes strewn around the room.

“I have nothing to weaaaaar,” Keiko moaned. She sat on the foot of her bed and stared at the clothes on the floor. 

“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing now? It’s a football match, it doesn’t matter.”

“Dad! Barou’s never seen me in anything but my school uniform! I don’t want them to think I’m a  total slob when I’m left to my own devices!”

“You look nice!”

“Daddy!” Keiko yelled, which brought Chigiri running from the living room. 

“What?! What happened?” the other man asked when he arrived. “Oh. Your closet exploded.”

Kunigami laughed, which only made Keiko sulk. “I don’t have any decent clothes and Barou’s going to think I’m a slob and Dad is no help at all.”

“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing now?” Chigiri asked. Kunigami let his forehead fall against the doorframe as Keiko once again groaned in frustration.

“Okay, okay, c’mon, you just need some perking up, that’s all,” Chigiri said in his most soothing voice. “The flannel and jeans you have on are perfect. Let’s just do something different with your hair…”

Twenty minutes later, they dropped a placated Keiko off at the train station and watched her immediately find Kyoji waiting for her. 

“So how did you become the Teen Girl Whisperer?” Kunigami asked as they drove away. “I’ve lived with her for exactly the same amount of time and I definitely do not have that power.”

Chigiri laughed. “She reminds me of my sister. I drove her crazy, so I learned how to calm her down before she could tell Mom.”

“I also have sisters,” Kunigami pointed out.

“True, but they had each other. And I can’t imagine you being an asshole little brother, Hero.”

Kunigami blushed and let his husband have the win.

—-----------------------------

Kyoji waved when they saw Keiko get out of her dads’ car. She did her best to look casual as she walked over to him.

“Hey, thanks for coming,” she said. He wore one of his dad’s old jerseys; she wondered idly how willingly the older Barou had relinquished it.

“Wouldn’t have missed it.” They jammed their hands in their pockets as if they didn’t know what to do with them. “I would’ve offered to drive you but Dad is taking my sisters with him and they’re…a lot.”

“How many siblings do you have?”

“Just the two sisters. They’re twins, and they’re ten, and they think they know everything.”

“Doesn’t sound familiar at all.”

“Shut up.” Kyoji laughed and bumped her shoulder, tried to ignore the electric feeling that shot through his arm and settled into his chest. I’m too young to be having a heart attack, right?, they thought.

Keiko smiled at them and nudged their shoulder, too. “Hm, don’t think I will.” 

Then she winked at him.

Fuck, he thought. She’s gonna kill me.

—---------------------------

By the time they reached the stadium, Keiko and Kyoji were holding hands. Keiko wasn’t sure how it started, really. One moment they’d been talking about Turkey’s midfielders, her hand resting on the space between their seats. The next, Kyoji’s fingers were laced with hers, their thumb running back and forth over the back of her hand. 

She had no idea what happened in the game; she only knew that Kyoji was next to her, that he talked to her and smiled at her and kept holding her hand. 

I’ll have to watch a highlight reel before Dad and Daddy get home, she thought. If they try to talk to me about it I’ll look crazy.

It was already late when the game ended, but the Blue Lock reunion was far from over. 

“Did you want to make an appearance?” Kyoji asked after showing Keiko a text from the elder Barou: ‘probably home at 12ish, try not to burn the house down.’

“Not especially.”

“Wanna head toward home and figure it out from there?”

“Sure.”

They were barely off the train when it began to rain heavily. Kyoji frowned, then turned to Keiko.

“Let’s go to my house for a bit, it’s closer than yours. Just ‘til it stops raining?”

—--------------------------

They were soaked by the time they arrived at Kyoji’s house. They lent Keiko a dry sweatshirt and shorts, which were so oversized on her that she practically disappeared in their bulk. She laughed; he blushed and busied himself by searching in his dresser for socks.

When they turned around, Keiko was sitting on his bed. 

Get it together Kyoji, he thought, feeling as if his brain had been through a factory reset. Be cool, act like you have beautiful people sitting on your bed all the time…

“Cute pig plushie,” Keiko said, nodding to a mortifyingly worn stuffed animal on a chair in the corner of the room. Kyoji flushed.

Cockblocked by Mr. Truffles, oh my god.

“Gift from the twins,” they lied. Please don’t let her notice how old Mr. Truffles is, for the love of god, please. “Want to watch a movie while your clothes dry?”

They grabbed their laptop and sat next to, but still out of arm’s reach of, Keiko. She bantered with him about what to watch before relenting to something innocuous. Before the opening credits were over, she scooched closer to them.

“So I can see the screen better,” she said by way of explanation. Kyoji raised their eyebrows, picked up their arm. An offer. She grinned and cuddled into his side, happily resting her head on his chest as he embraced her. 

Warm, dry, and comfortable, they fell asleep within a half hour. 

—---------------------------

Just past midnight, Chigiri and Kunigami opened their front door and stepped into a dark hallway. 

“That’s weird,” Kunigami noted. “Keiko usually leaves that light on when she’s home alone.”

“She probably just got distracted.” 

Kunigami nodded, but an uneasy feeling had already taken root in his stomach. He kicked off his shoes and made his way to the living room, which was also dark; so was the kitchen when Chigiri went to make himself tea. The house was silent.

“You think she went straight to bed?” he asked Chigiri, who was rooting around in a cabinet.

“Could’ve, it was a pretty late game.”

“I’m gonna go check on her.”

“You do that.”

Kunigami fought the wave of frustration at his husband’s nonchalance. He’s right, there’s no reason to think something is wrong. Just because her last date was awful doesn’t mean this one was…

He arrived at the top of the stairs and found Keiko’s bedroom door still open. He forced himself to take a deep breath.

Just because she normally shuts the door when she goes to bed doesn’t mean she can’t fall asleep accidentally, he scolded himself. Maybe she meant to wait up for us and just conked out –

He told himself he was only closing the door for her. He wasn’t checking up on her, he was just closing the door…

He stuck his head into the room and found an empty bed.

“HYOMA!”

—-----------------

Barou Shouei had just dumped two sleeping ten-year-olds into their beds when his phone rang. 

The fuck is Chigiri calling me for? He thought. He hadn’t seen Kyoji yet, surely they weren’t still out with Keiko…?

“Chigiri?”

“Barou,” Chigiri said. He sounded like he’d been holding his breath. “Barou, Keiko never came home.”

Barou’s stomach skipped dropping and simply disappeared. Fuck, fuck fuck –

“Are you sure?” he asked dumbly, as if Chigiri was looking for a lost glove. Fuck –

“She’s not in her bed, everything is exactly how we left it this afternoon, her bag isn’t here –” Chigiri’s voice broke in a way Barou instantly recognized.

“Okay, I’m sure she’s fine, we’ll find her –”

“Can you ask Kyoji where they last saw her? I don’t even know where to start looking.”

“Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll call you back.”

“Thanks Barou.”

He half-ran to Kyoji’s room, screwed his eyes shut as he knocked. C’mon, Kyoji, be in there, please…

His panic overwhelmed his sense of propriety. I can live with maybe seeing him jacking off as long as he’s not fucking missing, he thought. He threw open the door and charged inside.

There, on the bed, was Kyoji, asleep and cuddled up with Keiko. Who was wearing Kyoji’s clothes. 

The noise must’ve woken Kyoji, because they startled and sat bolt upright.

“Dad?!”

“Your friend’s dad is looking for her,” Barou said, voice low and calm in a way that sent a shiver of fear down Kyoji’s spine. Keiko sat up and looked at her phone, the color draining from her face when she saw the time and six missed calls from each of her dads.

Barou stepped back into the hall and called Chigiri, who answered on the first ring. “Found your kid,” Barou said. 

—-------------------------

Keiko was already on the porch when Chigiri and Kunigami pulled up to Barou’s house. Barou and Kyoji were next to her, Barou looking tired and irritated, Kyoji pale and seemingly unable to decide how close they could be to Keiko. 

She shuffled down the path toward the car, not looking at the front windows. Chigiri rolled his window down and waved to the people on the porch. “Thanks, Barou.” 

Keiko turned and weakly waved to Kyoji. When she finally turned back to the car and caught Chigiri’s eye, he turned back to the road. “Get in the car, Keiko.”

—------------------------------------

“So what happened to your clothes?” Kunigami asked after they pulled away. “‘Cause that’s definitely not what you were wearing when you left.”

“We got caught in the rain and Kyoji’s house was closest. They let me borrow some dry clothes. We just fell asleep.”

“Really? Because it didn’t sound like their dad saw you two when he got home.”

“We were in Kyoji’s room.”

“If you were just waiting for your clothes to dry, why did you need to be in their bedroom?”

“We took turns changing in their bathroom, we were just already there.”

Kunigami hummed but didn’t argue. Chigiri remained silent, staring at the road ahead.

“Daddy?” Keiko asked, her voice trembling. 

“We’ll talk later, Keiko,” Chigiri said, his voice low. After a beat, Kunigami glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Keiko wipe her eyes with the sleeve of Kyoji’s sweatshirt.

—--------------------------

“You look exhausted, Princess,” Kunigami said the next morning as he sat a cup of coffee in front of his husband and kissed his temple.

“Didn’t sleep much.” Kunigami hummed, didn’t respond. “Every time I started to drift off I just heard you calling for me and telling me Keiko wasn’t in her room.”

“You should’ve woken me up.”

“Why? So we’d both be tired?”

“So I could help you feel better.”

“I don’t understand how you’re over it so quickly. You were panicked last night and then we got home and you just fell asleep.”

Kunigami blinked at him. “Yeah, I was panicked when our daughter was missing. And I was upset that she caused all that because she didn’t have her phone where it would wake her up. But we found her, she was safe the whole time, and it was just a dumb mistake that she probably won’t make again. We’re good.”

“You just want to let it go?!”

“I mean, I think we should talk to her about it. But I don’t think we need to make it into a bigger deal than it is.”

“Barou found her in his kid’s bed, wearing his kid’s clothes, when she was supposed to be home.”

Kunigami sighed and massaged his brow. “Hyoma, she’s a teenager. She’s going to fuck up sometimes. And she’s going to have relationships, and she’s probably going to do stuff with those partners we don’t wanna know about. That all just comes with the territory.”

“We need to at least know where she is! What if she really was missing and we just assumed she was with Kyoji?”

“I agree, and that’s why we’re gonna talk to her and set some rules about answering her phone.”

Chigiri pushed his coffee away and pulled his knees to his chest. Kunigami realized with a pang that Chigiri was crying.

“Oh, Princess.”

Kunigami rubbed his husband’s back, felt Chigiri’s sobs as they shook his whole body. Over the smaller man’s head, Keiko appeared in the doorway before disappearing back into the hall.

—----------------------------------

Keiko was sprawled on her bed when Chigiri knocked, only nodded when he asked if he could come in. She sat up when he settled on the edge of the mattress but didn’t look at him. 

“Can we talk about last night?”

She sighed. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I messed up. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Chigiri winced at her monotone. How did she manage to make ‘Daddy’ sound like an accusation?

“I know you didn’t, Lovebug. I trust you more than that.”

“Then why does everything I do freak you out so much?”

Ouch. Chigiri shifted to be more in Keiko’s line of sight.

“Keiko, the Haru issue and you not being home last night scared me because I love you. If anything happened to you I…I can’t even think about it. You and your Dad are the most important thing in my life.”

Keiko pulled her knees to her chest and propped her chin up so she could look at him. 

“But I probably overreacted.” Chigiri sighed and fought to hold Keiko’s gaze. “You know how your Dad and I went through the Blue Lock program?”

Keiko nodded.

“I was your age when that happened. It was…a lot. I’d just gotten over tearing my ACL, I went from living with your grandma and aunt to being locked away with hundreds of other boys who were trying to wreck me, I met your Dad and fell in love with him then had him taken away, and then he came back and was…not the same. For a long time.”

“That’s a lot.”

“Yeah, it was. But I thought I was dealing with it. And then you started having more grown-up problems than you used to. And I started feeling like you were going to have the same experiences I did, except this time it was happening to the most important person in my life.”

Keiko didn’t respond but scooched over to lean against her dad. Chigiri felt like he could breathe for the first time in hours.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been as helpful as I should’ve been, Lovebug.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been scaring you.”

Chigiri pulled her into a hug and kissed the crown of her head. When she pulled away, she fixed him with a mischievous look.

“So can I know why you hate Isagi Yoichi so much?”

Chigiri sighed dramatically and flopped back onto the bed, earning a laugh from his daughter. 

“First of all, he’s the one who got between me and your Dad at Blue Lock, even though he knew how much we meant to each other, because he was more focused on what would make him look the best than, y’know, the human beings around him. And then he spent the whole time I was on his team reminding me that if I wanted your Dad back, I would have to be better at football. And then was an absolute dick about it when your Dad got eliminated.”

“Yikes.”

“And he’s just never been willing to admit he did anything wrong.”

“Isagi Haru is a lot like that.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

Chigiri stood up and pulled Keiko into another hug. “Are we okay?”

She snuggled into his embrace. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

He let her go and went toward the door. “But if you pull something like last night again, you’re grounded until you’re 30.”

She laughed. “Deal.”

[breitzbachbea]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

God, I needed this right now, because I am about to explode from how exhausting and unfair adult life is. And I love NOTHING more than talk about my own shit. Thank you so much, nonnie, I owe you my life.

Perché in Sicilia i morti dovrebbe morire I am aware that there is technically a typo in here, but I don't have the book I quoted around, so I don't know if the typo is already in the source material. Either way, do you like ghosts? Do you like folklore? Do you like places haunted by the terrible things they've seen, objects filled with the absentminded crooked intentions of their owner? Do you like childhood friends, who are the only friends to trust each other with their terrible childhoods, but it doesn't solve anything? Perché is the story you want. Herakles and Michele are sneaking around Michele's house during a power outage, talking about the recent past and ranting about the distant one, while the are some parts in between those that are unspeakable. It weaves the past of Sicily on a whole, especially Palermo's and its hinterland, together with the fate of the Vento family and clothes the terrors of Michele's own psyche into the familiar appearance of the collective Sicilian folklore. Also, if you like two mediterranean guys being way too coddly and touchy-feely, you can give this one a go as well.

Don't Touch The Artwork I like this little pwp one-shot immensely, because despite plot being thinly on the ground, it has so many little fantastic character moments. Team Liechtenstein and Team Austria both get to shine, you get to understand both team dynamics on their own and how single members act with each other across the boundary. Not to mention that it brilliantly works out Hugo's and Alois' relationship - the toxic masculinity, the fragile 'friendship', how both are at such cross purposes with their needs and desires but agree just enough on sex itself to keep coming back to play the doomed game. Next round I'll win, they think, always. They are giving it their all and then it wasn't good enough, because it's not good enough on principle. Either way, if you want to read two guys have a handjob quickie in the restroom of the KHM in Vienna, because they find the millennia of human craft and expression boring - yeah, that's the one.

Between Me and the Goddess (and You) Will you please, for the love of God, read my Imperial Rome setting AU that doesn't rely on some Victorian decadence narrative bc these mfers believed Tacitus blindly. We don't need love slave bullshit and tyrannical hedonism, we need a couple who is so concerned for each other's health that they travel miles and miles for it. We need Harry being so close with Michele that he involves him in Magic - in something that is ought to only be between the one who calls upon a divine Entity and the Entity itself. Michele, who cannot bear a night parted from his love to fix his own troubles, in case Harry's leg gives him grief all alone. Also, curse tablets are inherently funny, so please read this SicIre trip to Aquae Sulis, where Harry wishes plague upon houses for petty theft.

No Rest For The Wicked Tu non fermami se capita! Lo sai che il mare mi agita! Ti canterò di quelle notti ad orienteeee, di quella luna che danzava tra i bazaaaaar! If you are a fan of self-indulgent fanfictions, this is the most unashamedly self-indulgent thing I ever wrote.* This story has everything: The Chaos Seven (Team Sicily and Team Ireland) go on a Turkey Vacay with the Greeks and Turks. Paddy hits his head. Harry and Soph are 100% on their bullshit as if no one else is around. Argueing. Cursing. Flirting. Hera and Sadık so deeply in love in their twisted and yet so mundane way. Italian Music and Sexy Dancing. Bridal Carrying. Please go and read it, 🌀 ohhh you want to read about TurGre and SicIre and the O'Connels soooo badly. 🌀 *All my other OC fics don't count, because I avoid tagging them Hetalia as much as I can, so I don't expect anyone to read it. Even if they are tagged hetalia, no one specifically looks for my OC ships, so while I am glad for every reader, I never write with any in mind.

A lot of messy heads No one ever reads this one, which is. fair. It's just a little episode from Paddy's life with the O'Connels, prompted by his girlfriend's old family pictures. I'm sure people who are open to everything and like family fluff will love this, regardless if they know the characters or not. But if you do and would like to see Daddy Paddy in full action, if you would liked to see a little, young teenage Harry in his moody phase and a carefree, energetic little brat of a Soph - please read this. Please see the children that the characters you've come to known, so baggage-laden, used to be.

[iamthepulta]

Alright. I'm at page 59 and for my sanity, I think I need to wash over some brief generalizations. Academic rambling.

In the fall, I should compile a list of the most pressing topics and just pass them out to students who want a challenge so they can find me papers. Is that illegal? It's probably illegal.

When starting early, we know that alum played a huge role in Mesopotamia's development and Egypt's development. This is because of the numerous and accessible alum mines in Turkey and Egypt's high-quality sedimentary deposits. (Where else did this happen? Try for Chilean desert, China, because we know they used it early for wool and paper as well, along with uhh the desert northeast of China- Kazakstan? We'd also see this in Vietnam probably. Note: the huge Bronze civ there that I've since forgotten. Likely on old accretionary wedge material that has high/low sulfidation characteristics.)

Silverization is a new term I've learned that requires investigation. During the late Bronze Age as silver was coming online, we see Lydia and the Achaemenid Empire contributing to the trade and development of currency around the Assyrian Empire. What really happens as a civilization switches from barter to coinage and back again?

On that note ^ The Babylonian/Neo-Assyrian Empire is weirdly... cohesive....? for a civilization that has no fucking access to resources outside of trade. No copper. No tin. Not even alum really. But they had massive longevity. There's something there. Were they just the agricultural hub turned "ancient Silicon Valley"? I don't know what. But something's there.

^ peat/tar???????

The fuck is happening in Greece during silverization?

What the fuck is happening in Africa. I know they weren't sitting on their asses and there are regions in Tunisia and Sudan(?) with very old alum and textile production sites. Compare Ethiopia and Madagascar as part of the Persian Gulf-India trade route. Also. Note the cultural textile differences within historical fashion for Africa: color vs textures/designs.

I believe the Roman's conquest of Egypt was ~30BC. We see Alexandria's importance shoot up in 79AD after the destruction of Pompeii, but was this interest spurred by resources or general conquest greed? This requires a brief annoying read into Roman history.

On that note, the Samnites were working textiles, possibly with or without the Etruscans. Figure out what the hell was going on there. How old are those vats in Pompeii?

^ I'm so mad I actually went to Pompeii and Herculaneum and I didn't know enough to ask the guide these questions. Fucking hell wasted opportunity.

We see Egypt alum take a front-row seat until ~300, when Constantine moved his ass east. Honestly? Knowing what I know now? Smart ass move. Turkey has silver and alum. No wonder the Byzantines kept their seat for another ~1000 years.

EARLY in that Italian scattering, Genoa and Venice go hard: Genoa acted as shipping merchants for cargo which netted them their first alum mine off the coast of Greece, run by the Zaccharias.

Genoa dominance continued for ~200 years, during which the Zaccharias held a near monopoly and exported to the rest of Europe and developed their shipping lines to Southhampton and Bruges. Both Southhamptom and Bruges exploded in available income, population, textile manufacturing, and shuttered just as quickly when (FUCK WHAT HAPPENED flips to pages) Ah. The import of English cloth (after the influx of alum expanded their textile industry) made it easier to export to Antwerp than Bruges because Bruges had no local supply of high-quality wool. So Bruges declined and the Italian and German merchants moved to Antwerp.

Add note: Wool is theoretically a non-renewable resource in this instance.

While this was happening, Genoa and Venice are duking it out during the Crusades trying to back the right team to get a boon from the Church.

Mongols

Genoese bring back the Black Death from Caffa because they pissed off the Mongols in Tana farther up the Black Sea/River Don. Good job, Genoa.

Alum trade that the Genoese didn't pay thus contributed to the taking of Constantinople because the Ottomans said Fuck That we'll just take the whole thing. Only the brother of the Ottoman sultan was instigating his own rebellion at the time, and the Genoese said we could maybe take you across if you're willing to overlook the tribute we haven't paid in Phocaea... Murad took Constantinople, the rebellion was put down, and the Genoese came on top.

Man they were good. Blue from OSP stans Venice, but I'm REALLY here for Genoa.

Anyway, all this shit is happening during the early Renaissance. And this isn't including Tunisia, Egypt, and Sudan who are also exporting to Spain. Also we have the Silver Beef going on, which is what I call the war of attrition between the Byzantine Empire and the Sassanyids. The Sassanyids figured out that if they put their exchange rate for silver at a lower price than gold, they could slowly drain all the gold out of the Byzantine economy. The only reason the Byzantines stayed afloat for so long was they had the Genoese holding off the northern end of Turkey for free because they got to export alum from it.

The Muslim expansion causes problems in here somewhere.

The rest of Europe was in a silver shortage. And technically the Vikings play a role here too via hacksilver and whatnot. But I don't know if it's important, and why. Good question for WeekendViking tbh.

Theoretically this is also the era of exploration for them and this could be a funding issue for Iceland etc. Idk. I don't know enough Nordic history.

Anyway. That's how far I've gotten in the book. I have like 150 pages to go.

[pukkavapes]

**Why Choosing Vapes Over Cigarettes Could Be a Game-Changer (And Where to Start)**

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**2. No More Stinky Clothes (or Breath)**

Let’s be real – smoking leaves you smelling like a wet ashtray. Vaping? Not so much. E-liquids come in clean, fresh flavours like mint, mango, or even dessert-inspired options. Your clothes, hair, and breath won’t give away your habit anymore. Plus, nobody wants to be the person stinking up a room with smoke.

**3. Save Your Wallet**

A pack of cigarettes costs what, £14 these days? If you’re smoking a pack a day, that’s nearly £100 a week down the drain. Vaping has an upfront cost (a decent starter kit might set you back £20-£30), but e-liquid refills are way cheaper in the long run. Your bank account will thank you.

**4. Control Your Nicotine (or Go Without)**

Fancy cutting down your nicotine slowly? With vapes, you can pick e-liquids with varying nicotine strengths – from high doses to zero. It’s like weaning yourself off without the cold-turkey agony. Cigarettes don’t give you that flexibility.

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Regular smokers know that gross, hacking cough that never seems to go away. Switching to vaping often means your lungs start clearing out the gunk. You’ll breathe easier, taste food better, and feel less wheezy.

**But Wait – Is Vaping *Totally* Safe?**

Look, inhaling anything besides air isn’t ideal. Vaping isn’t risk-free, but compared to cigarettes, the science is clear: it’s the lesser evil. Just stick to reputable brands (like **[Pukka Vapes](https://www.pukkavapes.co.uk)**) and avoid shady, unregulated products.

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If you’re done with the smoke, the smell, and the sky-high costs, vaping could be your exit route. Check out **[Pukka Vapes](https://www.pukkavapes.co.uk)** for starter kits, premium e-liquids, and advice tailored to newbies. It’s not about being “perfectly healthy” – it’s about making a better choice today.

*Note: Always consult your GP if you’re struggling to quit smoking. Vaping isn’t recommended for non-smokers or teens.*

[rodrigobera04]

Taking to the skies with the flying type.

FLYING pure

Humanoid with a buoy around its waist, floating in the air.

Creature gathering feathers and foliage to create false wings and fly.

Bird that makes a nest in clouds and lays floating eggs.

Bird that has only one feather and flies while being carried by the wind.

Hummingbird creating supersonic waves from its vibrating wings.

Flat, cape-like creature that flies through the sky.

Wind creature that uses objects, such as clothes and branches, to make a body.

Frog that sucks air and floats and swells, like a balloon.

Creature covered in wings and feathers, which cover its body. Melodious voice.

FLYING/FIGHTING

Sunbittern with a carnival dancer theme.

Humanoid that breaks the laws of gravity and creates wind with its movements.

Bird hiding spurs in its wings, attacking after pretending to be injured.

Lemur or galago, acrobat that performs in the air.

Pterodactyl kaiju with arms adapted for combat.

Very strong long-eared owl, hunts even braviarys and mandibuzz.

Strong-legged corruira, likes to climb.

Boomerang-armed creature that creates cutting winds.

Shark that flies using winds, evolving its fins into wings.

FLYING/ELECTRIC

Lightning themed heron, with electric beak, electrocuting its prey.

Toucanet that changes its beak color with neon lights.

Hummingbird with insectoid wings of electricity.

Harpy that personifies winds and storms.

Pikaclone bat glowing in the dark to catch insects.

Alicorn that flies on stormy days.

Parrot that emits radio waves, capable of imitating voices.

Storm cloud that has a bearded man's face, blowing lightning.

Furry creature that uses static to keep itself in the air.

FLYING/ROCK

Prehistoric bird resurrected from an arrowhead.

Cave swallow with a rough appearance, resembles an avian bat.

Stone eagle that hunts camouflaged on mountain tops and cliffs.

Creature with glass skin, reflects the sky so that birds hit it.

Magpie with precious stones hidden in its plumage.

Stone creature that is carried by the winds, based on weather stones.

Stone pig that flies using its tail as a catapult.

Platypus with a stone beak, but with a pair of wings that allow it to fly.

Winged rock figure, based on the headless statue of Nike.

FLYING/STELL

Predator plane that hunts floating creatures in the sky.

Bird that has a metallic beak in the shape of an anvil, launching itself at its prey.

Tengu using his pointed nose as a katana blade.

Humanoid that launches itself like a cannonball, its skull is shaped like a helmet.

Flying squirrel with laminated skin.

Pigeons flying perched on metal beams help with construction work.

Flying whale with spaceship or jumbo jet theme.

Winged predator with a hooked claw instead of a beak.

Creature with wire wings, adding more metal until complete.

FLYING/FIRE

Shoebill stork, blowing embers in the shape of bullets with its beak.

Gelatinous creature that accumulates hot air to float; prey of the predator plane.

Secretary bird that breathes flames and creates whirlwinds of fire to hunt.

Oilbird covered in a flammable substance, burning opponents.

Turkey or pheasant that refers to the yokai Basan, blowing fire.

Fireworks serpentine fire elemental that explodes in defense.

Misty mouse flying in a cloud of smoke.

UFO star creating flaming patterns in the sky.

Winged creature that absorbs sunlight and shines, blinding the eyes of predators.

THE LAST:

Legendary,flying pure,made of several small birds. Each one flies around the world singing magical songs.

We're heading towards the final stretch.

[custodian-hue]

The oven begins to shake and if any of the turkeys looked through the viewing slot thingy they find it empty. It continues to shake until it explodes. The explosion is small but powerful launching any turkeys caught in the blast, away.

Steven cheers happy that his stupid idea sort of worked but stopped upon seeing this crazy women disarming his traps. "Ooo I love her style of clothes its really expressive!" Alto says while Steven turns his head to give him a glare making him regain focus. "Alto distract her while I handle the turkeys!" Steven orders hopping back to get Fae's metal baseball bat ready for battle.

Fright Night

(Closed event rp with @custodian-hue)

Outside Alto's house a tall older man is summoned from the air. His cloak flows down as he grasps a staff with an hourglass of ancient origin embedded in the center.

"It seems the ritual has been initiated. They seek a welcome challenge." With that he raised his staff and slammed it down, slowing time outside of the house to prepare it for the next several hours. As if on cue, the others arrived.

Sand piled up to form a hunched over humanoid figure, the SandMan having taken on a more horrid form from the world's sleeping problems abound.

A double rainbow landing at their feat heralded the next two as a winged woman armed with a crossbow and a smaller man exiting a pot of gold meant that Cupid herself and head leprechaun Merrygold Finnegan had arrived to add

The clopping of feet and the smell of sulfur meant that there was no holly jolly man this time, but rather his sinful counterpart, Krampus. He set down his sack and out popped a silly looking and acting woman, the embodiment of joy and mischief herself, The April Fool.

A spectre wielding a scythe descended down with a Turkey on his shoulder. Father Time smiled at the fact that The Halloween Spirit could make the time to come, and with Turkey as well.

A small sprite came fluttering down and landed on the ground, before growing rapidly into a (still short) adult man, bearing Tooth-related jewelry that complimented his Faerie wings. Right beside him a large rainbow egg grew and cracked before revealing the musclebound Easter Bunny.

"Is that seriously all of us?" The Tooth Fairy snapped, anger crossing his face at the the numbers of their group.

"Everyone else is busy this time of year," A voice from above called. Skating downwards through the air was the frosty modern snow queen herself, Jack Frost. She gave a bow as she landed, earning an eye roll from the Tooth Fairy and loving applause from the April Fool.

"No matter," Father Time spoke calmly. "What does is that we've been summoned by a group with a destructive collective mindset. They have asked for a challenge and we will show that we aren't to be underestimated." All of them turned to the house and lined up, their raw power and magic radiating off of them.

"Let this night begin."

[ashwhowrites]

Can you do smut 32 with Steve? I keep picturing reader making Thanksgiving dinner for the gang, and he is trying to keep his hands off her, but his fantasies of their future together keep pushing in.

Looks like Steve is hungry for a different type of feast

You definitely will get this!

“You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck.”

18+ smut, fingering, language, slight public sex, breeding kink

Y/N didn't even notice that Steve was struggling to hold himself together. She was so focused on making a Thanksgiving dinner for the gang, that were arriving in just under two hours.

She was sweating, hair thrown in a bun, as she ran around the kitchen. An apron tied tightly around her waist, practically forcing her curves to be shown. She was muttering and swearing to herself.

Steve felt like he might explode just watching her. The sweat traveling down her chest, right between her delicious tits. And her curves on display, he wanted to rub himself against her.

Watching her run around and cook just made him imagine if she was making dinner for him and their family. Running around to put together dinner as kids were giggling in the living room.

"Steve I love you, but if you don't do something other than stand there. I'm going to kill you."

He laughed at her stern tone and began to grab plates for the table.

Together they set the table, placing every plate on a place mat.

"Dustin requested the green plate and he wants to sit next to you." She muttered as she switched the plates around.

Steve imagined her putting down certain colored plates for their own kids. The daddy's girl was begging to sit next to him while his wife sat on his other side. Her being the best mom ever and always knowing exactly where their kids would want to sit.

She was back in the kitchen putting on the final touches to parts of their meal.

She placed the dessert in the oven and set the timer.

"I'm going to go change out of these clothes and I'll be ready!" She quickly ran to their bedroom, but Steve was hot on her heels.

She was pulling up her dress when Steve's hands caught hers. She looked at him confused.

"Steve what?"

He whined at the sight of her bra and dressed half way up.

"Do you ever think about us having a family?"

Her heart melted at his question. A small smile appeared on her face as she tugged her dress up.

"absolutely. I think of us being married in a house like this, little kids running around at our feet. Decorating the house for the holidays."

He felt his jeans somehow get even tighter. He wanted to put a baby in her so bad right now.

Before he got his words out the timer went off and she ran back out to the kitchen.

~~

Steve spent the dinner trying to desperately not move his hand up her thigh and finger her before turkey was even served.

His jeans kept suffocating him when she'd hug the kids and kiss their cheeks. How she would squeeze their faces and comment how adorable they were.

He almost busted his load when El advised how she would be such a great mother, a mother to Steve's children.

She awed at the comment and placed her hand on Steve's knee with delight.

"our kids would be so cute!" He nodded fast. Practically leaking in his boxers. His mind imagined the next holiday -christmas.

She'd watch him set up the tree as she rubbed her swollen belly, a small kid at her feet and another handing Steve ornaments.

Squeals of mommy and daddy filling up the silence of the house.

Steve was removed from his fantasies when Y/N asked him to help clean their dishes. He followed closely behind her, trying to hide the fact he has a raging hard on.

Y/N was ranting about the ideas of what their wedding would be like and how their kids would love the holidays. How she's gotten practice with the gang to be a good mother.

Steve pressed his hard on into her ass, she gasped surprised.

"You know I’m holding back from fucking you over this kitchen counter, don’t push your luck.”

She moaned at his words and pressed herself against him. He grunted at the friction of her dress rubbing against his jeans.

"we have to wait until our guests leave." He whined as he rolled his eyes.

"they don't have to know." He said as his hand traveled to the front of her dress, slowly lifting it up as he pushed two fingers into her underwater.

"Steve no." She gasped out. Steve laughed darkly behind her, "you say no, but your pussy is dripping for me."

She bit her lip to hold back her moan when he dipped into her cunt, slowly working their way inside her.

Steve wasn't dumb, he kept an ear out for any member of the gang making their way to the kitchen. He was in the clear so he began to scissor his fingers inside of her, rough and fast. She was rocking herself against him. Trying to desperately keep quiet. His lips attached themselves to her neck. Slowly rutting himself against her.

"I want to put a baby in you so bad. Make you a mom. Watch your stomach grow as you carry our baby."

With his words and now that his other hand was toying with her clit she was spazzing on his fingers. Rocking fast against him as she worked through her orgasm. Biting down on her hand to keep quiet.

He slowly pulled his fingers out of her and sucked them clean. She was gasping for breath as she fixed her dress.

"hey Y/N, is dessert ready?" Steve quickly jumped away from her as El stood there smiling brightly.

She eyed Y/N, "are you okay? You look flushed?"

Y/N blushed hard and silently nodded. Her legs felt a tad weak from her orgasm as she tried to walk towards the fridge.

"yes honey it's right here." She passed the chocolate dessert to El with a smile.

El quickly took the dessert to the table with the announcement.

"looks like Steve is wanting another type of dessert." Eddie winked as he walked past the couple, coming from the bathroom near the kitchen.

Steve blushed and looked at the ground.

It was going to be a long thanksgiving dinner.

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Yet More Forbidden Activities at Site (REDACTED)

By order of the Administrator and O5 Counsel, the following activities are added to the Forbidden List. Any attempt at any activities on this list will be met with the harshest discipline. Consider yourselves warned, especially you, Dr. Bright.

Not allowed to recreate any weapon from the Dead Space series. No, not even to fight victims of the Clockwork Virus. Save it for the Ishimura, kids.

No using time travel to win bets. That's violating the Temporal Prime Directive, and 05-5 is still mad about last year's Tour de France.

No recreating anything from Doom. No, not even Doomguy to attempt termination of 682.

No one is to challenge 076-2 to Mortal Kombat. There are less... messy ways of committing suicide.

Whomever gave Dr. Bright the comic books... the Red Right Hand is coming.

Leave the video game weapons where they belong: in the games. Yes, even the exploding chickens, Dr. Clef. Although the Chaos Insurgency was not expecting that... all the damage to Site Facilities isn't worth it.

No more roller derby. Dr. Meeter broke her leg, her nose, the wall, half the opposing team, and the coach's arm. Before the match began.

If it involves any combination of chainsaws and explosives... NO.

No frying turkeys on site. Don't ask why.

No one is giving tours here. No one should be selling tickets for these tours, let alone offering a date with an anomaly as a raffle prize. Knock. It. Off!

There never was a Dr. Wesker, we have no ties to the Umbrella Corporation as they are FICTIONAL, we do not have any variant of the T, G, C, or Urobouros viruses, nor the antivirals for such things. We do not have the Harran Virus, there is no Antizen, and no such person as Agent Kyle Crane. We do have an Agent Crane, but anyone calling her 'Kyle' is likely to get nut punched.

We have our own Occult Sciences division, there is rarely a need to 'hire out'. So... whomever allowed John Constantine on site... run. You really shouldn't have done that.

Stealing your coworkers' coffee is a low, dirty trick. We hope your mother is proud of you.

No more abstract art in public areas. 073 spent an hour trying to figure out how a clock could melt but tell time.

Full clothing is required for both anomalies and staff during interviews and experiments. Even if we need to sew certain individuals into their trousers.

No. More. Real. Life. Duck. Hunt! Unless the ducks being hunted are Chaos Insurgency. Then... shotgun.

No more Calvinball. Dr. Clef gets too... competitive.

294 is for normal consumable liquids only. Anyone requesting anything else will suffer consequences. Remember the "Cup of Abel" incident? He was... not amused. Nor are we.

Stun batons are for combat and training only. No, not THAT type of training. I swear, some of you are impossible.

No one is to lead ANYONE on a leash. Save the weird-as-hell stuff for alone time.

Do not argue with O5. Just don't.

During raids, if it looks suspicious, shoot first, apologize later. Check every cardboard box, every nook and cranny. The Insurgency hired a bunch of rogue yoga instructors and contortionist for "better ambushing". Check everything. And if in doubt, EMP first, shoot second, apologize later if needed. Light bending camo is a thing, and ours won't be affected by the EMP.

Cover. Your. Faces. Facial recognition software exists. Can't be part of a super secret world saving organization if everybody knows it's just Dave from the pub. Also, if you must have a significant other on the outside, burner phones.

Yeah, whomever gave Dr. Clef his own 'Lucille', O5 is sending someone to go Neggan on your head. Clef is dangerous enough.

Guns are ranged weapons. Clubs, batons, knives, and hammers are melee weapons. Anyone confusing the two will be shown the difference. With live ammunition. By our best marksman, Agent Strelnikof. If they survive, it's on to melee weapons training with 076-2. Again, assuming survival, final exam is a brief interlude with 682. Guns for far off, baton, blade, or hammer up close. It's not neurosurgery.

[lxndxnorris]

I only wanted to help [L.N]

Hi everyone... so this is my first story. I really hope you like it. English isn't my first language so I will appreciate feedback. I got inspired after watching the latest quadrant video. 

summary: You try to help Lando by cleaning his house and you end up in a fight. 

word count: 1.2K

warnings: a few bad words, angst, Lando being a dick.

-Great- I said sarcastically when I arrived at Lando's house and saw everything messy as usual, I took a big breath and checked the time 1:24 pm, I thought about it for a few minutes, if I started now, I could finish cleaning maybe the whole house when he came back from McLaren's HQ, but I also knew that most of the stuff was from Max's moving. I headed to the one person who would tell me if I should do it or not -Max- I said as I knocked on the door lightly. I didn't want to interrupt his stream and have to deal with the rumors of whether I cheated on Lando with his best friend again -what? - I heard him shout and rolled my eyes at his manners - can I come in? - as I finished the sentence the door opened and showed a Max in his pajamas -I need your advice and partly your help- I said carefully, because I knew that the moment I mentioned the word "clean" he was going to close the door directly in my face -about what?- he asked with narrowed eyes and a suspicious tone, I sighed, -listen.... honestly your house is a mess, the entrance is a t-shirt away from exploding and I don't want to mention your streaming room- I said smiling exaggeratedly -and I don't know if you already arranged with Lando about your moving with him or whatever, but you can't continue living this way, we have to fix it- at that moment the word left my mouth he started to close the door but somehow I stopped him- besides you owe me a favor- I said maliciously -or should I remind you Turkey- he rolled his eyes and gave me a dirty look -okay- I let out a little scream of victory -you pick whatever is yours from the pile of clothes downstairs and meanwhile I start with the streaming room- I said cheerfully -you and your mania of perfectionism- he said between teeth when I turned around -I heard you- I shouted while I went down the stairs -besides you should thank me-.

 I smiled satisfied to see everything clean and tidy again or for the first time really, Lando's and now Max's house has always had things lying everywhere, you can't walk without seeing where you step, once I almost tripped over one of his helmets. I looked at the clock 9:12 pm. Lando would be here soon -FEWTRELL- I shouted from downstairs -I'M NOT CLEANING ANY MORE- I rolled my eyes -WHAT DO YOU WANT FOR DINNER?- he ran downstairs -are you cooking?- he raised an eyebrow and stared at me -no- I said sarcastically -take it as a thank you for helping me- he thought for a few seconds and gave me the answer I expected -lasagna- he said smiling -okay but you know Lando is going to hate you- I said laughing as I headed to the kitchen - rather Jon is going to hate Lando- he answered me -and that's why Lando is going to hate you- I declare.

I was finishing preparing dinner when I heard the door open and a loud -hi lov... - after that, silence. I left the kitchen happy to see that Lando had already noticed the ¨little¨ change in the house -what do you think...? -my smile disappeared when I looked at his face -is everything ok? did something happen? - I said very worried. Lando closed his eyes for a few seconds and took a breath, I started to get closer, but I stopped as soon as he spoke -what happened here? - he said annoyed -I... I cleaned the house, well me and Max- he huffed angrily when I finished my sentence -and who told you to do that? - he brought his hands to his face with frustration - the place was a mess and I just wanted to help you, I know you are very busy and you are barely at home and when you are you must train or go to the sim or... - I started to explain the reason of my actions but he just let out a sarcastic laugh - so what? now you consider yourself a maid? - he said mockingly - if I wanted MY house cleaned - he emphasized - I would have hired someone, don't you think? - I crossed my arms, now I was annoyed - first of all don't despise the work of the others and you don't have any right to talk to me in that way, it wasn't my intention to bother you, as I was saying before you interrupted me I was just trying to help you - I said trying to keep calm - well I didn't ask for your help, in fact, I didn't even ask you to come here, as usual you just sent me a message letting me know you were here, do you think I wanna have you here all the time - he said raising his voice - besides, who gave you the right to touch my fucking stuff? - he said this time screaming. I looked down and tried to hold back my tears, he is upset, he doesn't actually mean it, I tried to tell myself, I was about to speak when Max appeared -what is going on here, why are you shouting?- he said trying to understand the situation -don't get involved Fewtrell- Lando said in annoyance and ignoring me totally, Max sighed -why don't you try to calm down mate- he said calmly -don't tell me what to do- Lando replied offensively and Max raised his hands -I think I should leave- I said after a few seconds -I think it took you long enough to do it- Lando said without any remorse, I turned to see Max -thanks for the help and... Sorry for not finishing dinner- he gave me a pitiful look and I felt small, I didn't want to give pity to anyone and especially not to my friends- don't worry- he tried to give me a smile and at that Lando cleared his throat. I grabbed my things and went to the door, I looked at Lando one last time then I lowered my gaze -if you actually think so small about me, I don't even know what we are doing together- I said firmly, I noticed on his features how his feelings changed from anger, to fear and finally to regret. But at that precise moment I wasn't interested in it and couldn’t care less about it, so I just left his house.

Lando's pov:

Fuck I thought, I was about to speak when she just shut the door. I debated for a few seconds whether I should follow her or not and when I was about to walk towards the fucking door -you know... I can take your shit because we're friends, but today you crossed a line with her, and I don't know if you can fix it. You should know better than anyone that all your actions have consequences and that you can't blame anybody but yourself if she doesn't want to forgive you- Max said seriously, he gave me a pat on the shoulder and turned around -by the way- he said before leaving -there's lasagna for dinner- he said ironically and I was left alone in the room, with an annoyed friend and probably without a relationship.

-Fantastic job Lando- I murmured to myself.-

-

-

Let me know what you think about it!

Part 2