#turkey with exploding clothes.....

[ma-chi1993]

if hima does the exploding clothes thing again i might not survive

[cassandracain52]

Do you think Damian ever forgets he isn't adopted?

Because I've read some things about the other Batkids forgetting they are adopted. But I think in a family like this, the reverse may be equally true xD

Do I think Damian ever forgets he's not adopted? Realistically: No. He spent his first year at the manor making sure every conversation he had somehow ended in him mentioning he was "the blood son". It would take a severe amount of head trauma or smth to make that boy forget that

But in my heart?: Yes I think he does because that would be so funny and the concept positively delights me😭

-----

Just one scenario this made me think of:

[Tim scoffing while looking at his phone]: Pfft Look at this article the Gazette did on us [turns his phone towards Damian to show an article reading "Bruce Wayne's Adopted Children make a appearance at most recent Gala"] [Tim continuing with a laugh]: Can you believe that? I mean who's proof reading these things, right?

[Damian frowning while he reads the headline in slight confusion]: All they did was list our names? We were at that gala? What's wrong with it?

Tim: Well they listed your name too

Damian: And?

[Tim, waiting for Damian to stop messing with him]: ....

[Damian, genuinely confused]: ...?

[Tim poorly smothering an evil older brother smile as he realizes exactly what just happened & is about to lock it in his memories forever to be brought up constantly]: Damian...

[Damian, still not catching on & getting annoyed]: Yes??

Tim: You're not adopted

Damian:...

Tim: ...

Damian: Timothy-

[Tim immediately starting to sprint away]: I already texted everyone

[Damian cursing as he gives chase]: TIMOTHY I SWEAR-

----

Or just:

[Constantine doing a spell to break a curse a villain put on Bruce or smth]: Alright, all I need now is some blood from his next of kin. [glances at watching army of bat children] uh biological next of kin

[Everyone instantly turning to stare at Damian]

[Damian, who's been up for the last 42 hours with everyone trying to break this curse & has reached a new level of exhausted]: ...What?

[Dick, explaining hesitantly]: He needs someone with Bruce's blood..?

Damian: Ok? So give it to him?

[Dick now fully confused]: I'm adopted? I can't?

[Damian in full Dead Tired IncomprehensionTM]: So what do you want me to do about it then???

Dick: Damian. Bruce is your dad.

Damian: [blinks, no thoughts, head empty]

Jason interrupting because he is too tired to enjoy this right now & wants to wrap this up: You're the only one here with his actual blood, genius

Damian: ...

Damian: Oh right

Tim saves the cave recording to every possible file and hard drive he can get his hands on. Barbara helps him to ensure it can't be deleted. The entire family continues to bring it up for weeks that "the blood son" forgot about his blood. Damian never lives it down.

[shortstrawberry]

How the Resident girlies will spend Christmas with you as Christmas is just around the corner.

(credit to amazing @pyramantic for the pics)

1. Bela

Bela gives you the greatest Christmas gift she could get you: taking a day off.

Bela's way to relax with you is to take you both away from home related drama. So she'd fly you away to a European country for a white Christmas. How about Germany?

You both would walk hand in hand around the snow laden streets of Berlin, enjoying the Christmas spirit.

Bela's favourite Christmas drink is mulled wine. She loves to make it personally for you. You love the warm and sweet spicy taste of it.

2. Donna

You and Donna had to keep the flower shop open during the day, as a lot of people buy last minute flowers. However, you and Donna both made sure to spend a lot of time together decorating the shop for Christmas.

Donna keeps on holding the mistletoe over you. You of course have no choice but to follow the tradition and kiss her. Not that you need any tradition to kiss your soft Italian florist.

In the evening you both decide to celebrate in the beautifully decorated shop itself. You both set the chairs and table and Donna sings Italian Christmas carols for you. Having Christmas dinner surrounded by red and white roses is a experience you'll never forget.

Donna's favourite Christmas drink is Bombardino, a Italian christmas drink quite similar to eggnog. Angie often tries to spike it. You let her do it, because drunk Donna is a adorable Donna.

3. Cassandra

Cassandra is a total Broadyway bish and she'll be taking you to catch the The Christmas Spectacular show in New York.

After the show, you both would be go to Rockefeller Center Christmas Tree and take so many cute selfies together that your phone memory would explode.

Cassandra and you would soon have enough of crowded New York streets and just retreat back home. There you both will order in some pizza and spend the Christmas night cuddling and watching musicals.

Cassandra's favourite Christmas drink is hot buttered rum. It is warm and cosy and not boring, just like Cassandra herself.

4. Angie

Angie is your resident party girl, but for Christmas, she'll stay home, with you. She wants to spend the next morning waking up with you without a hangover.

Still, there would be some drinks around. But nothing too boozy. Angie would spend Christmas cooking together with you and watching Italian soap operas with you.

Angie and you would also play a lot of board games. Especially Jenga, where you would loose for the umpteenth time. Getting drunk regularly has given Angie a excellent sense of balance.

Angie's favourite Christmas drink is Limoncello, a sweet and tangy lemon drink with dashes of alcohol. It's something that both you and Angie can enjoy without getting completely hammered.

5. Daniela

Dani is all about creating the perfect romantic dates for you. So she'll set up lights and Christmas decorations at home for the perfect Christmas date.

Dani all throughout the dinner (that she herself cooked) would tell you about the Christmas she spent at Dimiterescu Mansion. Hearing how close the Dimiterescu sisters were during childhood would always bring a smile to your face.

You and Dani after dinner would dance around the room on Christmas songs. Dani would especially loudly sing "All I want for Christmas is you".

Dani's favourite Christmas drink is a simple hot chocolate. She makes sure to put extra marshmallow on top of yours.

6. Alcina Dimiterescu

You would spend the Christmas with Alcina at her extravagant Dimiterescu Mansion. Alcina has made sure to deck every floor with Christmas decorations.

Alcina has also made sure to have her personal chef make a feast for Christmas. Stuffed turkey, buttery mashed potatoes, you name it, it's there on the table. Alcina makes sure you have a little taste of everything by her own hands.

Later, you and Alcina would spend the Christmas night painting together. You'd model in Santa clothes (how skimpy is your imagination) while Alcina happily paints on her canvas.

Alcina's favourite Christmas drink is Catena Malbec Wine. She serves it to you with a side of cheese and cured meats.

7. Miranda

Miranda bestows upon you the greatest Christmas gift she could ever give you: taking a day off.

Miranda is a homebody, so Christmas with her would be a homely and cozy affair. She would make a comforting dinner for you. You would be sitting on the kitchen counter and just watching her move around as old Christmas songs play in the background.

Miranda and you are both bibliophiles, so it's no wonder you both would curl up on a large comfy chair together and read Christmas Carol by Charles Dickens.

Miranda's favourite Christmas drink is Vișinată, a Romanian sour cherry brandy. Miranda makes sure you drink it slowly so that you don't get too drunk.

And that's it! I wish you all a very Merry Christmas!!

[rodolfoparras]

My brain is exploding

Gaz having male reader under him in front of the tree, telling him to stop squirming or else the ornaments could be hurt or broken but not even 5 minutes later it’s Gaz begging reader to stuff him like a damned turkey🫠

Significantly going crazee-🐁

Usually Gaz doesn’t get the chance to fly home during the holidays since he always ends up getting assigned some random mission.

However this time he actually manages to get some time off but he chooses not to tell you about it so that he can surprise you with a visit.

When Gaz told you he wouldn’t be able to come you’d been sad of course but you tried to enjoy the holidays anyways so you went out bought some of your favorite food and drinks and went back home again

When you walk into your apartment you don’t notice anything out of the ordinary until you go to your bedroom and see gaz laying on the bed with Christmas lights surrounding him.

You freeze in place, not expecting him to be here , and for a second you think that you must be imagining it all until you hear him chuckle and you snap out of your thoughts.

“What- i - how?” You say sounding confused as ever while walking up to him but he just smiles in response, whispering the words surprise before he crashes your lips together

“Not funny” you say in between pecks

“Worth it though” he mumbles against your lips.

“Mm - fuck what are you wearing?” You say trailing your hands down his chest, feeling the frail material of his lingerie under your hands.

“Your present” he whisper into your ear before he nibbles on your ear.

“Fuck me” you grunt out, feeling blood pool to your lower half.

“Oh I plan to,” he says as he flips the two of you around so you’re the one laying in bed before he straddles your waist.

This time you get a full view of the red lingerie he’s wearing, hands reaching out to touch him but just as you do so he clasp your hands together before tying them up with the Christmas light

“What-“

“Nuh huh im the one taking care of you tonight,”

“Oh is that right?” You say with a brow raised.

He just hums in response before he slots yours lips together.

“Alright then” you sigh out, relaxing into his touch “take care of me”

And take care of you he does, with a kiss here and there as he strips your clothes off, using his mouth and hands to push you over the edge multiple times before he straddles your waist and sinks down on your cock

He looks like an absolute sight with the Christmas lights bouncing off of his skin, lingerie barely staying on him, eyes squeezed shut and mouth agape as he works himself up and down your length

But it’s not enough for him and it’s clear to see.

“Come on, Kyle untie me” you say voice breathy and strained,”let me take care of you yeah?”

[mothgodofchaos]

Bat

The title for this one was too good to pass up. I wanted to make him a bastard but he just became way too adorable.

Vampire!Author x GN!Reader, TW: gore, murder, bloodsucking, implied attempted kidnapping Words: 728

You’re walking home alone, not the wisest decision but it’s done out of necessity. You were feeling unsafe as you were out with people, something just felt off. So without a word to anyone else, you left. Your hand grips tightly around your key ring, slotted between your fingers in an effort to make you able to do more damage. If needed, and you pray that you don’t need to.

A puddle splashes behind you and you pull out your phone, using it as a mirror. Shit, someone is following you. A larger car starts driving slower on the street coming in the opposite direction, and you realize how fucked you are. You recognize the guy behind you from the restaurant, and dread sets in. Do you have anything else to defend yourself with?

You pass an alleyway and another man steps out, and you think you’re done for. He pushes you behind him as he lets out a growl, lunging at your stalker with a barbed wire coated bat. The man is barely able to scream before his head explodes into gore, and the car speeds off.

Your defender turns around, coated in blood with glowing golden eyes.

“Are you alright?”

“I, I guess? Thank you?”

You watch in horror as he slings his bat over his shoulder, tearing off the man’s arm and sinking his teeth into it like it’s a turkey leg. It takes you a moment to realize he’s not eating the man, but drinking his blood. When he drops the arm, you catch a glimpse of his fangs as he licks his lips clean.

“Would you like me to walk you home? It’d make me feel better knowing you got home safe. Not like I can come in anyways unless you invite me.”

Somehow, that does make you feel better, although you’re trying not to look at the mutilated corpse that lays on the sidewalk at your defender’s feet.

“Sure, that’d help me a lot.”

“Lead the way! I’m Alric, by the way.”

He shines a smile at you, avoiding shaking your hand so as to not get blood on you. The two of you talk, and you’re shocked at how jovial he is. Usually vampires are depicted as dark and broody, but he seems to be rather humorous and sassy. He lights up as he gets you to laugh, trying to keep your mind off him murdering a guy and how unsafe people can feel at night.

The two of you get back to your place, and he walks you to your door. Once your door is unlocked, he turns to go, but stops when you call to him.

“Would you like to take a shower? Get the blood off you?”

Alric freezes, not expecting you to say that.

“Are you sure? You do know the rules, right?”

“It’s the least I can do, and I enjoyed your company. And if you’re still hungry, I have some steaks in the fridge.”

“As long as they’re the meat steaks, I’m down.”

He laughs as you hold the door open for him, thanking you profusely. You let him wash his clothes too, lending him a robe while they dry. He stops in his tracks as he catches you trying to clean off his bat, mid-towel drying his hair.

“You don’t need to do that.”

“I wanted to. It’s alright.”

He squints at you, looking at the table and seeing a steak on a plate and a glass of red wine.

“I didn’t know if you drank water, but I figured you’d want something to drink.”

Alric just stands there, staring at you.

“Why are you being nice to me?”

“You potentially saved my life, and I think that you should repay good deeds.”

“And the vampire thing doesn’t bother you?”

“Should it?”

You make him pause, holding the towel around his neck.

“It usually does…”

“Well, it’s almost daylight and I don’t want you getting burned. So if you need a couch to crash on or some other kind of sleeping arrangement, I can make something work.”

“Oh, I can just sleep upside down as a bat. Here, look.”

He poofs into a bat, hanging off of your arm as he pulls a laugh from you. He poofs back, grinning big.

“Thank you. I mean it.”

“Thank you, for getting rid of that guy.”

[headhedgehog]

Part one, Part two

“Hey Barou, how’s your girlfriend?” 

Kyoji sighed but didn’t turn away from their locker. Haru clapped a hand on their shoulder.

“Your team captain asked you a question, Barou.”

“I don’t have a girlfriend, Isagi.”

“That’s funny, I’ve seen you taking my leftovers home every day for a few weeks now.”

Kyoji tsked, still not looking at Haru. “Have you always been this disgusting?”

“Big talk from the one who can’t even seal the deal with the easiest girl in school.”

“If she shot you down and you’re still so obsessed with her, doesn’t that make you the pathetic one? ”

Haru shoulder checked Kyoji as he turned to his own locker. “Watch your mouth, Barou.”

Kyoji decided to consider this a win.

—--------------------------------------

No matter how carefully Kyoji avoided the subject, Haru had been correct. Walking Keiko home had become a habit. It really wasn’t intentional – Kyoji just wanted to help her avoid Haru for those first few days. But Keiko turned out to be much more interesting than Kyoji suspected. It turned out they were both bookworms, and although she didn’t play football she was as obsessed with it as he was. They were surprised to learn that she loved art and theater, that she helped with costume design for school plays and community productions. Keiko frankly made them feel boring, but she never treated him like he was. She seemed interested in what Kyoji was reading, how their football season was going. Their conversations after school quickly became the best part of his day.

“So Barou,” Keiko said one afternoon as they stood in front of her house. “My dads got some really great comp tickets for the U-20 match against Turkey, but they’re both going to a Blue Lock reunion thing. They said I could use the tickets – do you wanna come with me?”

Kyoji’s brain short circuited, his mouth forming an answer almost automatically. “I would love that.”

Keiko smiled, and Kyoji felt lightheaded. “Great! I’ll text you the details tonight – here, put your contact in my phone.”

She handed them her phone and pretended not to notice when they almost dropped it.

—--------------------------

Match day was bright and calm; the mood in the Kunigami-Chigiri household was not.

“Keiko! We’re leaving in ten minutes, you good?” Kunigami called from the foot of the stairs. He got a frustrated groan in response. He sighed and trudged up to his daughter’s room.

“What’s the issue now?” Kunigami asked. He leaned against the doorframe and dug his fingernails into his palm to distract himself from the piles of clothes strewn around the room.

“I have nothing to weaaaaar,” Keiko moaned. She sat on the foot of her bed and stared at the clothes on the floor. 

“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing now? It’s a football match, it doesn’t matter.”

“Dad! Barou’s never seen me in anything but my school uniform! I don’t want them to think I’m a  total slob when I’m left to my own devices!”

“You look nice!”

“Daddy!” Keiko yelled, which brought Chigiri running from the living room. 

“What?! What happened?” the other man asked when he arrived. “Oh. Your closet exploded.”

Kunigami laughed, which only made Keiko sulk. “I don’t have any decent clothes and Barou’s going to think I’m a slob and Dad is no help at all.”

“What’s wrong with what you’re wearing now?” Chigiri asked. Kunigami let his forehead fall against the doorframe as Keiko once again groaned in frustration.

“Okay, okay, c’mon, you just need some perking up, that’s all,” Chigiri said in his most soothing voice. “The flannel and jeans you have on are perfect. Let’s just do something different with your hair…”

Twenty minutes later, they dropped a placated Keiko off at the train station and watched her immediately find Kyoji waiting for her. 

“So how did you become the Teen Girl Whisperer?” Kunigami asked as they drove away. “I’ve lived with her for exactly the same amount of time and I definitely do not have that power.”

Chigiri laughed. “She reminds me of my sister. I drove her crazy, so I learned how to calm her down before she could tell Mom.”

“I also have sisters,” Kunigami pointed out.

“True, but they had each other. And I can’t imagine you being an asshole little brother, Hero.”

Kunigami blushed and let his husband have the win.

—-----------------------------

Kyoji waved when they saw Keiko get out of her dads’ car. She did her best to look casual as she walked over to him.

“Hey, thanks for coming,” she said. He wore one of his dad’s old jerseys; she wondered idly how willingly the older Barou had relinquished it.

“Wouldn’t have missed it.” They jammed their hands in their pockets as if they didn’t know what to do with them. “I would’ve offered to drive you but Dad is taking my sisters with him and they’re…a lot.”

“How many siblings do you have?”

“Just the two sisters. They’re twins, and they’re ten, and they think they know everything.”

“Doesn’t sound familiar at all.”

“Shut up.” Kyoji laughed and bumped her shoulder, tried to ignore the electric feeling that shot through his arm and settled into his chest. I’m too young to be having a heart attack, right?, they thought.

Keiko smiled at them and nudged their shoulder, too. “Hm, don’t think I will.” 

Then she winked at him.

Fuck, he thought. She’s gonna kill me.

—---------------------------

By the time they reached the stadium, Keiko and Kyoji were holding hands. Keiko wasn’t sure how it started, really. One moment they’d been talking about Turkey’s midfielders, her hand resting on the space between their seats. The next, Kyoji’s fingers were laced with hers, their thumb running back and forth over the back of her hand. 

She had no idea what happened in the game; she only knew that Kyoji was next to her, that he talked to her and smiled at her and kept holding her hand. 

I’ll have to watch a highlight reel before Dad and Daddy get home, she thought. If they try to talk to me about it I’ll look crazy.

It was already late when the game ended, but the Blue Lock reunion was far from over. 

“Did you want to make an appearance?” Kyoji asked after showing Keiko a text from the elder Barou: ‘probably home at 12ish, try not to burn the house down.’

“Not especially.”

“Wanna head toward home and figure it out from there?”

“Sure.”

They were barely off the train when it began to rain heavily. Kyoji frowned, then turned to Keiko.

“Let’s go to my house for a bit, it’s closer than yours. Just ‘til it stops raining?”

—--------------------------

They were soaked by the time they arrived at Kyoji’s house. They lent Keiko a dry sweatshirt and shorts, which were so oversized on her that she practically disappeared in their bulk. She laughed; he blushed and busied himself by searching in his dresser for socks.

When they turned around, Keiko was sitting on his bed. 

Get it together Kyoji, he thought, feeling as if his brain had been through a factory reset. Be cool, act like you have beautiful people sitting on your bed all the time…

“Cute pig plushie,” Keiko said, nodding to a mortifyingly worn stuffed animal on a chair in the corner of the room. Kyoji flushed.

Cockblocked by Mr. Truffles, oh my god.

“Gift from the twins,” they lied. Please don’t let her notice how old Mr. Truffles is, for the love of god, please. “Want to watch a movie while your clothes dry?”

They grabbed their laptop and sat next to, but still out of arm’s reach of, Keiko. She bantered with him about what to watch before relenting to something innocuous. Before the opening credits were over, she scooched closer to them.

“So I can see the screen better,” she said by way of explanation. Kyoji raised their eyebrows, picked up their arm. An offer. She grinned and cuddled into his side, happily resting her head on his chest as he embraced her. 

Warm, dry, and comfortable, they fell asleep within a half hour. 

—---------------------------

Just past midnight, Chigiri and Kunigami opened their front door and stepped into a dark hallway. 

“That’s weird,” Kunigami noted. “Keiko usually leaves that light on when she’s home alone.”

“She probably just got distracted.” 

Kunigami nodded, but an uneasy feeling had already taken root in his stomach. He kicked off his shoes and made his way to the living room, which was also dark; so was the kitchen when Chigiri went to make himself tea. The house was silent.

“You think she went straight to bed?” he asked Chigiri, who was rooting around in a cabinet.

“Could’ve, it was a pretty late game.”

“I’m gonna go check on her.”

“You do that.”

Kunigami fought the wave of frustration at his husband’s nonchalance. He’s right, there’s no reason to think something is wrong. Just because her last date was awful doesn’t mean this one was…

He arrived at the top of the stairs and found Keiko’s bedroom door still open. He forced himself to take a deep breath.

Just because she normally shuts the door when she goes to bed doesn’t mean she can’t fall asleep accidentally, he scolded himself. Maybe she meant to wait up for us and just conked out –

He told himself he was only closing the door for her. He wasn’t checking up on her, he was just closing the door…

He stuck his head into the room and found an empty bed.

“HYOMA!”

—-----------------

Barou Shouei had just dumped two sleeping ten-year-olds into their beds when his phone rang. 

The fuck is Chigiri calling me for? He thought. He hadn’t seen Kyoji yet, surely they weren’t still out with Keiko…?

“Chigiri?”

“Barou,” Chigiri said. He sounded like he’d been holding his breath. “Barou, Keiko never came home.”

Barou’s stomach skipped dropping and simply disappeared. Fuck, fuck fuck –

“Are you sure?” he asked dumbly, as if Chigiri was looking for a lost glove. Fuck –

“She’s not in her bed, everything is exactly how we left it this afternoon, her bag isn’t here –” Chigiri’s voice broke in a way Barou instantly recognized.

“Okay, I’m sure she’s fine, we’ll find her –”

“Can you ask Kyoji where they last saw her? I don’t even know where to start looking.”

“Yeah, yeah of course. I’ll call you back.”

“Thanks Barou.”

He half-ran to Kyoji’s room, screwed his eyes shut as he knocked. C’mon, Kyoji, be in there, please…

His panic overwhelmed his sense of propriety. I can live with maybe seeing him jacking off as long as he’s not fucking missing, he thought. He threw open the door and charged inside.

There, on the bed, was Kyoji, asleep and cuddled up with Keiko. Who was wearing Kyoji’s clothes. 

The noise must’ve woken Kyoji, because they startled and sat bolt upright.

“Dad?!”

“Your friend’s dad is looking for her,” Barou said, voice low and calm in a way that sent a shiver of fear down Kyoji’s spine. Keiko sat up and looked at her phone, the color draining from her face when she saw the time and six missed calls from each of her dads.

Barou stepped back into the hall and called Chigiri, who answered on the first ring. “Found your kid,” Barou said. 

—-------------------------

Keiko was already on the porch when Chigiri and Kunigami pulled up to Barou’s house. Barou and Kyoji were next to her, Barou looking tired and irritated, Kyoji pale and seemingly unable to decide how close they could be to Keiko. 

She shuffled down the path toward the car, not looking at the front windows. Chigiri rolled his window down and waved to the people on the porch. “Thanks, Barou.” 

Keiko turned and weakly waved to Kyoji. When she finally turned back to the car and caught Chigiri’s eye, he turned back to the road. “Get in the car, Keiko.”

—------------------------------------

“So what happened to your clothes?” Kunigami asked after they pulled away. “‘Cause that’s definitely not what you were wearing when you left.”

“We got caught in the rain and Kyoji’s house was closest. They let me borrow some dry clothes. We just fell asleep.”

“Really? Because it didn’t sound like their dad saw you two when he got home.”

“We were in Kyoji’s room.”

“If you were just waiting for your clothes to dry, why did you need to be in their bedroom?”

“We took turns changing in their bathroom, we were just already there.”

Kunigami hummed but didn’t argue. Chigiri remained silent, staring at the road ahead.

“Daddy?” Keiko asked, her voice trembling. 

“We’ll talk later, Keiko,” Chigiri said, his voice low. After a beat, Kunigami glanced in the rearview mirror and saw Keiko wipe her eyes with the sleeve of Kyoji’s sweatshirt.

—--------------------------

“You look exhausted, Princess,” Kunigami said the next morning as he sat a cup of coffee in front of his husband and kissed his temple.

“Didn’t sleep much.” Kunigami hummed, didn’t respond. “Every time I started to drift off I just heard you calling for me and telling me Keiko wasn’t in her room.”

“You should’ve woken me up.”

“Why? So we’d both be tired?”

“So I could help you feel better.”

“I don’t understand how you’re over it so quickly. You were panicked last night and then we got home and you just fell asleep.”

Kunigami blinked at him. “Yeah, I was panicked when our daughter was missing. And I was upset that she caused all that because she didn’t have her phone where it would wake her up. But we found her, she was safe the whole time, and it was just a dumb mistake that she probably won’t make again. We’re good.”

“You just want to let it go?!”

“I mean, I think we should talk to her about it. But I don’t think we need to make it into a bigger deal than it is.”

“Barou found her in his kid’s bed, wearing his kid’s clothes, when she was supposed to be home.”

Kunigami sighed and massaged his brow. “Hyoma, she’s a teenager. She’s going to fuck up sometimes. And she’s going to have relationships, and she’s probably going to do stuff with those partners we don’t wanna know about. That all just comes with the territory.”

“We need to at least know where she is! What if she really was missing and we just assumed she was with Kyoji?”

“I agree, and that’s why we’re gonna talk to her and set some rules about answering her phone.”

Chigiri pushed his coffee away and pulled his knees to his chest. Kunigami realized with a pang that Chigiri was crying.

“Oh, Princess.”

Kunigami rubbed his husband’s back, felt Chigiri’s sobs as they shook his whole body. Over the smaller man’s head, Keiko appeared in the doorway before disappearing back into the hall.

—----------------------------------

Keiko was sprawled on her bed when Chigiri knocked, only nodded when he asked if he could come in. She sat up when he settled on the edge of the mattress but didn’t look at him. 

“Can we talk about last night?”

She sighed. “I’m sorry, Daddy. I messed up. I didn’t mean to scare you.”

Chigiri winced at her monotone. How did she manage to make ‘Daddy’ sound like an accusation?

“I know you didn’t, Lovebug. I trust you more than that.”

“Then why does everything I do freak you out so much?”

Ouch. Chigiri shifted to be more in Keiko’s line of sight.

“Keiko, the Haru issue and you not being home last night scared me because I love you. If anything happened to you I…I can’t even think about it. You and your Dad are the most important thing in my life.”

Keiko pulled her knees to her chest and propped her chin up so she could look at him. 

“But I probably overreacted.” Chigiri sighed and fought to hold Keiko’s gaze. “You know how your Dad and I went through the Blue Lock program?”

Keiko nodded.

“I was your age when that happened. It was…a lot. I’d just gotten over tearing my ACL, I went from living with your grandma and aunt to being locked away with hundreds of other boys who were trying to wreck me, I met your Dad and fell in love with him then had him taken away, and then he came back and was…not the same. For a long time.”

“That’s a lot.”

“Yeah, it was. But I thought I was dealing with it. And then you started having more grown-up problems than you used to. And I started feeling like you were going to have the same experiences I did, except this time it was happening to the most important person in my life.”

Keiko didn’t respond but scooched over to lean against her dad. Chigiri felt like he could breathe for the first time in hours.

“I’m sorry I haven’t been as helpful as I should’ve been, Lovebug.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been scaring you.”

Chigiri pulled her into a hug and kissed the crown of her head. When she pulled away, she fixed him with a mischievous look.

“So can I know why you hate Isagi Yoichi so much?”

Chigiri sighed dramatically and flopped back onto the bed, earning a laugh from his daughter. 

“First of all, he’s the one who got between me and your Dad at Blue Lock, even though he knew how much we meant to each other, because he was more focused on what would make him look the best than, y’know, the human beings around him. And then he spent the whole time I was on his team reminding me that if I wanted your Dad back, I would have to be better at football. And then was an absolute dick about it when your Dad got eliminated.”

“Yikes.”

“And he’s just never been willing to admit he did anything wrong.”

“Isagi Haru is a lot like that.”

“So I’ve noticed.”

Chigiri stood up and pulled Keiko into another hug. “Are we okay?”

She snuggled into his embrace. “Yeah, we’re okay.”

He let her go and went toward the door. “But if you pull something like last night again, you’re grounded until you’re 30.”

She laughed. “Deal.”

[itsalwaysthesamehere]

Hey guys! This is from my ana doc that I keep private for the most part but I figured sharing would be great considering a lot of these tips/collections I got from tumblr anyways haha. I take no credit for any of this besides the food logs which are from my first week of relapsing. Ive tried to take things slower because I do have people Im hiding this relapse from so pleaseeeeeeeee no judgement. Im also super broke so I basically have to eat whatever we have at home. Enjoy yall!

Week one: No meat products. Prep soy sauce eggs, spicy foods and have breakfast, nothing off limits but only eat half of whatever you get for the week. Tons of salad and avoid heavy foods. 

Monday: 1800, high protein. 

Tuesday: 1600 Wednesday: 1400 Thursday: 1200 Friday: 1000

Saturday: 1200 Sunday: 1000

Monday: 1200

Tuesday: 1200

Wednesday: 1000

Thursday: 1000

Friday: 800 Saturday: 800 Sunday: 800 

Food log:

12/03/2023-

2 slimjims- 80 cal

One street taco- 75 cal

Cheese- 50 cal

Ravioli and salad: 350 calories

Total for breakfast- 205 calories

Total for dinner- 350 calories

Snack at night: 3 bananas, chocolates, chips :<, 1020 calories

Food log #2:

Breakfast: cottage cheese and raspberry jelly on toast, calories 147

Dinner: Spaghetti with garlic bread, calories 600

Snack: Garlic bread guts, 600 calories (heavily estimated, heavily exaggerated 

Total: 1,350 calories 

Food log #3:

Breakfast: White bread, cottage cheese and sugarfree raspberry jam, calories 200

Dinner: Cowboy stew with cornbread, calories 800

Snacks: Pastry :<, poptarts 1,150 calories

Total: 2540 calories

Lunch: Cowboy stew, 800

Snacks: One bite of pastry puff, cottage cheese with ritz crackers,pringles,  calories 437 

Total: 1,237 calories

Food log #5: 

Snack: Cottage cheese with sugarfree raspberry preserves and blueberries,, one chocolate, yahoo milk, sucker 335 cals 

Dinner: Alfredo with penne pasta, calories 600

Food log #6: 

Breakfast: 1/5th of a grape fruit, 1 egg white, 3 strips of bell pepper, 3 strawberries, and half a pom drink. Cals: 139

Snack: Icecream bite, 50 cals

Safe foods: 

Airhead - 60

Popcorn - 64 (per cup airpopped)

Animal crackers - 85 (ten crackers)

Baby ruth - 98

Milky way - 99

Vitamin water sugar-free - 0

Sparkling ice sugar-free - 5

Bai - 5 (any flavor)

Caprisun - 30-80 (depends on the flavor)

V8 - 45

Chinese fortune cookie - 15

Laffy taffy - 33

Pop rocks - 36

Cotton candy - 40 (10g)

Lollipop - 47

Candy cane - 59

White bread - 67

Angel food cake - 72

Victorian sponge cake - 72

Opera cake - 80

Buttermilk Pancake - 83

Pancake - 86

Pepperoni - 10

Chicken breast fillet - 17

Prosciutto- 18

Sushi - 39

Literally any lunch meat, they're all low cal!

Strip steak - 40 (3 slices!!!)

Quail breast - 69

Turkey wings - 53

Chicken wings - 77

Beef tripe - 80

Beef jerky - 82

Mushrooms - 1

Baby carrots - 5

Celery - 6

Bell pepper - 15

Tomatos - 20

Zucchini -  33

Green beans - 34 (per cup!!! Just throw on some red pepper and lemon juice and feast, sisters)

Artichoke - 60

Cucumber  - 66

Cherries - 4

Apricots - 17

Passion fruit - 17

Plums - 30

Cantaloupe - 23 (per 70g)

Mandarin oranges - 47

Peaches - 60

DON'T BINGE: 

Take a moment and talk to God about it (even if you’re not a believer, it doesn’t hurt to try!)

Watch mukbang about the food that you are craving

Watch supersize vs superskinny (its on YouTube)

Look in the mirror and remind yourself why you are doing this in the first place

Read a book

Do your homework

Do chores

Smell at the food that you are craving

Write down your feelings and cravings (trust me it helps sm)

Drink A LOT of water. Drink until you feel like you’re about to explode

Clean your room! Get rid of all those water bottles and dishes.

Clean out your closet, decide what clothes you don’t wear and donate them to your local thrift store!

Go on a shopping spree! (Don’t spend all your money though!)

Organize your Pinterest boards

Compare yourself to th!nsp0

Weigh yourself

Listen to music

Drink calming tea

Catch up with a friend!

Talk to your pet about your feelings

Sleep the cravings out

Take a long walk

Take a cold shower

Watch a movie you haven’t seen before

Take care of your nails!

Look up how to do something you have always wanted to learn (make-up, macramé, origami, sign language, …)

This might sound weird but I love sudokus and they always get me focused enough to stop thinking about bingeing

Make a to-do list for the rest of the week

Listen to a podcast

Have a self-care day (take an everything-shower, put on a face mask, take care of your hair and body)

Make an essay about any topic you like

Start writing a book

Re-decorate your room

Make a New Year’s resolution list! Who do you want to be at the end of 2024?

^ or make a vision board !!!

Call a friend or family member

Read the newspaper (lowkey more interesting than I expected it to be)

If you’re frustrated about it, scream into a pillow

Scroll on insta or tiktok

Built a Lego set

Pick some flowers!

Practice deep breathing

Try yoga if you haven’t before!

If you are still standing in your kitchen, girl get out rn

Ask yourself if you are physically hungry, the answer is most likely no

Keep a food diary

Munch on a low cal snack instead, take veerryyyy slow bites

Thing I do but definitely don’t recommend:

Binge and purge (if you purge make sure you brush your teeth abt 30mins after)

Sm0ke or v@pe (depends if i’m able to go outside or not)

Sh (please, pleaaaase don’t do this)

I’m so guilty to do this to my family and the people who think I’m in a true recovery. But if I don’t Im scared of what might happen, I’m scared I’ll kill myself or even worse. I just really want to lose weight and feel like myself again

On day one I did mess up by having meat early on but we have to go through meat products before I can buy vegetarian substitutes plus we don’t have eggs rn. 

so you think you're "stuck" here again? you're not actually stuck, you're just not trying hard enough. you can lower your intake, walk more, exercise harder, fast for longer. the only thing stopping you from losing weight is you. why haven't you changed that? do something.

It’s only been two hours and you are already eating again. You are gonna be huge forever.

if you're looking at some food and doubting yourself if you should eat it or not, the answer is no 

I doubt that eating makes you as happy as stepping on the scale and seeing that you lost weight

You aren’t hungry, you’re just bored.

Excuses to not eat:

My tummy hurts from gallbladder

I took my pills in the morning and got sick

Sky kept me busy all day

Shared breakfast and lunch with sky

Thought I ate, forgot. *Go to get a snack and come back with a drink or small treat*

Spend time cooking for others

Talk about how you ate different things for breakfast

Smaller chest

Sharper jawline

Less curvy thighs

Square hips

Dainty hands

Collarbones

Slutty waist

Sharp shoulders

To float in my clothes

To look hot in emo clothes

Deeper set eyes

Visible spine

✨️Hipbones✨️

To save money (less food eaten, less food to buy)

Mesh tops

Muscles easier to see

People telling me I'm so small

Boyfriends being able to pick me up like it's nothing

some tips on food fixation and binging urges:

hellooo, ive been thinking about compiling some things that have helped me get my mind off of food and overall just writing down some rant -- so here it is!

keep in mind, im not an expert and this is mostly just me babbling. im writing this as a motivation for myself, and it will probably not work for everyone, but if you find any of this stuff helpful -- my pleasure!

★ mindfulness ★

`` first of all -- ive found that that strong-urge-to-binge thing is more of a state, not a feeling. it helps me to treat it as such: a mental state, a spiral, and to come out of that spiral you can:

◌ stop!

◌ breath in, breath out. ground yourself. have that thought of "wait, what am i doing?" in the space between you and the fridge

◌ check in with your body. what position are you in? does something hurt? are you cold? are you tired? overenergized?

◌ check in with your mind. is there any buzz? are you overwhelmed?

◌ if you located the issue (eg. im tired! i want comfort! so food = comfort!) -- great! move on from there to resolving this issue in a more mindful, not-involving-food way (then i should nap, do yoga, just lie on the floor, watch comfort movie)

why are we doing that? in my opinon, its very important to train that "what am i doing" moment of conciousness, because through that you can see better why you want to binge. is it a mental thing? how can you cope without food? is it a physical feeling? an effect of restriction? how can you tweak your eating to make it better (imo, fasting does better job at managing binges than plain restriction)

you cant just showe thinspo at your face everytime you crave something, after all : )

★ activities ★

`` make something with your hands! ohh my god! i cant stress it enough, it can help you to not get fixated on thinking about food so much! it can be something easy like drawing, or you can look up something new for yourself

`` go on a walk. i know, it can be very tiring to even think about, but t does wonders at distracting you

`` yoga. very simple and very effective. or, alternatively

`` do nothing at all for a bit. just. lie down, turn off your phone, no sound, no nothing (helps if your binging urge feels overwhelming)

`` if you havent already, try drinking coffee. it really is called an appetite supressant for a reason

`` i wasnt the one who told you that, but you can look up some gross stuff involving food.. f*eeding k*ink usually freaks me out on multiple levels for long enough to forget about food

`` test yourself and allow yourself to feel bored. put down your phone. watch a really long flm. boredom is a part of our lives, and if you teach yourself to feel it in such small portions without binging youll be so so proud of yourself

Thinspos i have^

[breitzbachbea]

Fic authors self rec! When you get this, reply with your favorite five fics that you've written, then pass on to at least five other writers. Let’s spread the self-love❤

God, I needed this right now, because I am about to explode from how exhausting and unfair adult life is. And I love NOTHING more than talk about my own shit. Thank you so much, nonnie, I owe you my life.

Perché in Sicilia i morti dovrebbe morire I am aware that there is technically a typo in here, but I don't have the book I quoted around, so I don't know if the typo is already in the source material. Either way, do you like ghosts? Do you like folklore? Do you like places haunted by the terrible things they've seen, objects filled with the absentminded crooked intentions of their owner? Do you like childhood friends, who are the only friends to trust each other with their terrible childhoods, but it doesn't solve anything? Perché is the story you want. Herakles and Michele are sneaking around Michele's house during a power outage, talking about the recent past and ranting about the distant one, while the are some parts in between those that are unspeakable. It weaves the past of Sicily on a whole, especially Palermo's and its hinterland, together with the fate of the Vento family and clothes the terrors of Michele's own psyche into the familiar appearance of the collective Sicilian folklore. Also, if you like two mediterranean guys being way too coddly and touchy-feely, you can give this one a go as well.

Don't Touch The Artwork I like this little pwp one-shot immensely, because despite plot being thinly on the ground, it has so many little fantastic character moments. Team Liechtenstein and Team Austria both get to shine, you get to understand both team dynamics on their own and how single members act with each other across the boundary. Not to mention that it brilliantly works out Hugo's and Alois' relationship - the toxic masculinity, the fragile 'friendship', how both are at such cross purposes with their needs and desires but agree just enough on sex itself to keep coming back to play the doomed game. Next round I'll win, they think, always. They are giving it their all and then it wasn't good enough, because it's not good enough on principle. Either way, if you want to read two guys have a handjob quickie in the restroom of the KHM in Vienna, because they find the millennia of human craft and expression boring - yeah, that's the one.

Between Me and the Goddess (and You) Will you please, for the love of God, read my Imperial Rome setting AU that doesn't rely on some Victorian decadence narrative bc these mfers believed Tacitus blindly. We don't need love slave bullshit and tyrannical hedonism, we need a couple who is so concerned for each other's health that they travel miles and miles for it. We need Harry being so close with Michele that he involves him in Magic - in something that is ought to only be between the one who calls upon a divine Entity and the Entity itself. Michele, who cannot bear a night parted from his love to fix his own troubles, in case Harry's leg gives him grief all alone. Also, curse tablets are inherently funny, so please read this SicIre trip to Aquae Sulis, where Harry wishes plague upon houses for petty theft.

No Rest For The Wicked Tu non fermami se capita! Lo sai che il mare mi agita! Ti canterò di quelle notti ad orienteeee, di quella luna che danzava tra i bazaaaaar! If you are a fan of self-indulgent fanfictions, this is the most unashamedly self-indulgent thing I ever wrote.* This story has everything: The Chaos Seven (Team Sicily and Team Ireland) go on a Turkey Vacay with the Greeks and Turks. Paddy hits his head. Harry and Soph are 100% on their bullshit as if no one else is around. Argueing. Cursing. Flirting. Hera and Sadık so deeply in love in their twisted and yet so mundane way. Italian Music and Sexy Dancing. Bridal Carrying. Please go and read it, 🌀 ohhh you want to read about TurGre and SicIre and the O'Connels soooo badly. 🌀 *All my other OC fics don't count, because I avoid tagging them Hetalia as much as I can, so I don't expect anyone to read it. Even if they are tagged hetalia, no one specifically looks for my OC ships, so while I am glad for every reader, I never write with any in mind.

A lot of messy heads No one ever reads this one, which is. fair. It's just a little episode from Paddy's life with the O'Connels, prompted by his girlfriend's old family pictures. I'm sure people who are open to everything and like family fluff will love this, regardless if they know the characters or not. But if you do and would like to see Daddy Paddy in full action, if you would liked to see a little, young teenage Harry in his moody phase and a carefree, energetic little brat of a Soph - please read this. Please see the children that the characters you've come to known, so baggage-laden, used to be.

[fictionalgainer]

Adam's story part III

Adam's morning began with a battle, not against dragons or deadlines, but against the audacious snugness of his work pants. He wiggled into them, each tug a reminder of his vanished abdominal muscles, now replaced by a soft, jiggly belly that refused to be tamed. His shirt, equally rebellious, seemed to have shrunk overnight, intent on revealing just a hint more skin than workplace appropriate.

"Here goes nothing," he muttered, leaving his apartment with a mix of apprehension and a desperate hope that his clothes would remain intact.

Arriving at the supermarket, Adam took his place behind the cash register, trying to look casual while covertly pulling his shirt down and pants up. His new uniform was a game of wardrobe whack-a-mole he hadn't signed up for.

"Hey, Adam!" called out Jenna, another cashier. "Did you get a new outfit?"

"Yeah, you could say that," Adam replied with a forced grin, his hands stealthily adjusting his traitorous trousers.

As customers lined up, Adam's discomfort grew. Each scan of an item was accompanied by a strategic shuffle to keep his clothes in check. He felt like a contortionist in a circus act he hadn't rehearsed for.

Then came Mrs. Higgins, a regular known for her sharp eyes and sharper tongue. "My, my, Adam, you look... different. Is that the new style?"

Adam chuckled nervously, "Just trying something new, Mrs. Higgins."

She peered over her glasses, "Well, don't try too hard. You're spilling out like a stuffed turkey."

Crimson spread across Adam's face, more effective than any barcode scanner. He finished her transaction with a polite smile and a silent prayer for his shift to end.

The day trudged on with a few more light-hearted jabs from colleagues and customers alike. Each comment was a nudge, reminding him of his changing body.

Lunch break brought a moment of respite. He texted his friend, Mike: "I feel like a stuffed sausage in these clothes."

Mike replied with a laugh, "Just don't pop, man. You're too young to explode. Anyway, up for a drink tonight ? It's on me ! "

Adam replied "Can't refuse such generous offer, see you at the usual place at the usual time !"

Adam couldn't help but smile. Somehow, Mike always knew how to lighten the mood.

Later in the evening, Adam trudged towards the local bar, the promise of a few free drinks from Mike being the only thing lifting his spirits after a day of wardrobe warfare. The night air was cool, a stark contrast to the warmth of embarrassment he had felt all day.

He found Mike already there, a pint in hand, his usual boisterous self. "Adam, my man!" Mike greeted with a hearty laugh. "Ready to drown your sartorial sorrows?"

Adam managed a smile. "Only if you're ready to fund the expedition."

As they settled into a quiet corner, the conversation naturally drifted to Adam's day and his struggles with his weight. Adam sighed, "I just let myself go, Mike. It's like I'm wearing someone else's body."

Mike nodded, his expression turning serious. "I get it, man. But you're not alone in this." To Adam's surprise, Mike lifted his shirt, revealing a tightly fitted corset underneath. "Look, I've gained 10kg, and you didn't even notice."

Adam's eyes widened. "You're kidding! When did this happen?"

Mike chuckled, "While you were busy battling your pants, I was waging war with this corset."

The revelation that his always fit and confident friend was facing similar issues was a shock to Adam, but not an entirely unpleasant one. "We're in the same boat, then," Mike said with a wink.

Adam didn't feel better about his situation, but Mike had a talent for lightening the mood. He started teasing Adam, mimicking his struggle with his pants in an exaggerated fashion, causing Adam to burst into laughter.

"Yeah, yeah," Adam chuckled, "At least your corset doesn't try to escape every time you bend over."

The night wore on, filled with more laughter and candid conversations about their weight gain. Mike's ability to laugh at himself and encourage Adam to do the same was a refreshing change.

As they left the bar, Adam felt a sense of camaraderie he hadn't expected. Sure, his problems hadn't disappeared, but sharing them with someone who understood made them seem a little less daunting.

"Next time," Adam said as they parted ways, "we're going shopping for some 'expansion-friendly' clothes."

Mike laughed, "And maybe a couple of corsets for good measure!"

If you want to see more stories, head towards my Patreon

[talesfromsiteredacted]

Yet More Forbidden Activities at Site (REDACTED)

By order of the Administrator and O5 Counsel, the following activities are added to the Forbidden List. Any attempt at any activities on this list will be met with the harshest discipline. Consider yourselves warned, especially you, Dr. Bright.

Not allowed to recreate any weapon from the Dead Space series. No, not even to fight victims of the Clockwork Virus. Save it for the Ishimura, kids.

No using time travel to win bets. That's violating the Temporal Prime Directive, and 05-5 is still mad about last year's Tour de France.

No recreating anything from Doom. No, not even Doomguy to attempt termination of 682.

No one is to challenge 076-2 to Mortal Kombat. There are less... messy ways of committing suicide.

Whomever gave Dr. Bright the comic books... the Red Right Hand is coming.

Leave the video game weapons where they belong: in the games. Yes, even the exploding chickens, Dr. Clef. Although the Chaos Insurgency was not expecting that... all the damage to Site Facilities isn't worth it.

No more roller derby. Dr. Meeter broke her leg, her nose, the wall, half the opposing team, and the coach's arm. Before the match began.

If it involves any combination of chainsaws and explosives... NO.

No frying turkeys on site. Don't ask why.

No one is giving tours here. No one should be selling tickets for these tours, let alone offering a date with an anomaly as a raffle prize. Knock. It. Off!

There never was a Dr. Wesker, we have no ties to the Umbrella Corporation as they are FICTIONAL, we do not have any variant of the T, G, C, or Urobouros viruses, nor the antivirals for such things. We do not have the Harran Virus, there is no Antizen, and no such person as Agent Kyle Crane. We do have an Agent Crane, but anyone calling her 'Kyle' is likely to get nut punched.

We have our own Occult Sciences division, there is rarely a need to 'hire out'. So... whomever allowed John Constantine on site... run. You really shouldn't have done that.

Stealing your coworkers' coffee is a low, dirty trick. We hope your mother is proud of you.

No more abstract art in public areas. 073 spent an hour trying to figure out how a clock could melt but tell time.

Full clothing is required for both anomalies and staff during interviews and experiments. Even if we need to sew certain individuals into their trousers.

No. More. Real. Life. Duck. Hunt! Unless the ducks being hunted are Chaos Insurgency. Then... shotgun.

No more Calvinball. Dr. Clef gets too... competitive.

294 is for normal consumable liquids only. Anyone requesting anything else will suffer consequences. Remember the "Cup of Abel" incident? He was... not amused. Nor are we.

Stun batons are for combat and training only. No, not THAT type of training. I swear, some of you are impossible.

No one is to lead ANYONE on a leash. Save the weird-as-hell stuff for alone time.

Do not argue with O5. Just don't.

During raids, if it looks suspicious, shoot first, apologize later. Check every cardboard box, every nook and cranny. The Insurgency hired a bunch of rogue yoga instructors and contortionist for "better ambushing". Check everything. And if in doubt, EMP first, shoot second, apologize later if needed. Light bending camo is a thing, and ours won't be affected by the EMP.

Cover. Your. Faces. Facial recognition software exists. Can't be part of a super secret world saving organization if everybody knows it's just Dave from the pub. Also, if you must have a significant other on the outside, burner phones.

Yeah, whomever gave Dr. Clef his own 'Lucille', O5 is sending someone to go Neggan on your head. Clef is dangerous enough.

Guns are ranged weapons. Clubs, batons, knives, and hammers are melee weapons. Anyone confusing the two will be shown the difference. With live ammunition. By our best marksman, Agent Strelnikof. If they survive, it's on to melee weapons training with 076-2. Again, assuming survival, final exam is a brief interlude with 682. Guns for far off, baton, blade, or hammer up close. It's not neurosurgery.

[tuserfox]

        starter for cassie howard, @wildcherie​ 

       Having spent the past couple of weeks inebriated, Nate was homebound and depressed, withering away from the perfect sculpture he’d been crafting himself into for the past eighteen years. After years of rigorous routine, he quit cold turkey, looking around an unkempt room full of pizza boxes, chinese takeout cartons, and cases of beer —along with Cassie’s belongings. Her clothes and makeup were reminders that she never came back after he told her to get out. He couldn’t face her, or anyone for that matter. Nate’s biggest fear was for someone to find out his father was fucking men in a hotel, and for them to use that against him. Lexi’s play was every one of his nightmares come to life. The entire school was there and everyone was laughing at the homoerotic depiction of his life. Nate wanted to kill Ethan and Lexi. He still might, because without revenge, THIS was his life. 

      With college around the corner, Nate wasn’t doing anything to prepare for his future. However, everyone else seemed to be ready and partying. Fireworks could be seen exploding in the night sky as he pulled into a gas station for more beer. It was a warm day and everyone was at the beach, burning marshmallows, getting wasted, and skinny dipping. Nate had no intention of showing up, but something brought him there. Maybe it was the beer, or maybe he was just curious. 

[pearlypairings]

Coffee and Contemplation

*chapter 4 posted*

sneak preview from AO3:

TW: canon violence/body horror for TP & ST, nightmare sequences. Proceed with caution

The first thing Dale Cooper noticed, when he realized he was no longer at the bed & breakfast, was the blaze of the fireplace to his right, nearly catching the sleeve of his suit on fire.

He was in a parlor room, but nowhere he’d been before based on his initial impression. The scorching heat of the fireplace blackened the photo frames propped on the mantle and scarred them beyond recognition. From his seat on a rustic armchair,  he watched as a strange red aura seeped through the lofted ceilings, casting a ripple of blood-stained distortion down over the room.

Suspended upside down, a fleshy, gray flower-like chandelier bloomed wide to reveal a violent pistil full of sharpened thorns in neat rows. The shoots of slick roots expanded from the center of the room, connecting to all of the furniture like an intricate circuitry for existence. The strange flower vibrated with malevolent life.

Dale stood up and followed one of the thickest roots, guiding him out the doorway crowned by an ethereal dust floating against the pull of gravity. The root pulsed under his watchful eye and slinked up ahead, beyond his field of vision into the hallway. Turning to the left, the root exploded into smaller intercepts all over the rest of the house. The only inanimate object untouched by the pervasive roots was a commanding grandfather clock leaning tall against torn wallpaper billowing in the hall. 

Tired, but menacing, the grandfather clock towered over the foyer like a stoic stalker. No matter where Dale moved in the room, the face of the clock never strayed from view, invisible eyes stuck to him at all angles. The weights inside the case were covered by webbing, thick and grimy like stormy sea foam tainted by commercial tankers. As if waking to his presence, the weights struggled to lift against the resistance of the webs.

A loud tone caught his attention, as the clock began to chime with the rise and fall of chains and the pendulum bobbing back and forth, tangled in the thick network of web. Dong. Dong. Dong. Dong. Dale counted only four chimes, but the clock face conveyed a different time entirely. The hour hand of the clock short circuited over the roman numeral XI, unable to click past the number after the tolling finished.

The foyer shook violently with frames crashing down the stairs and the sound of wood splintering in the process. When Dale turned to run towards the front door,  a flash of light paralyzed him through the entryway windows. The stained glass of the door reflected its design onto the cracked floorboards— an inverted, dark blue rose near his feet— stretching across red shadows willed into existence by the house. 

With the image fading with the light, Dale backed away from the tremors of the hall into the dimly lit dining room. Everywhere he turned greeted him like an uninvited guest wearing out the courtesy of his host. Dark mahogany cabinets scattered their own troubling shadows near the edges of the table. Amidst the shadows, a sickly girl, donning a Hawkins varsity jacket, pulled out the head chair for Dale with skeleton fingers clutching the wood frame. 

A spread of various side dishes decorated the clothed table along with four place settings, but none at the seat he was offered. At second glance, he realized mealy worms wriggled free of the side dishes and a layer of green sludge slid over the remains of a turkey carcass. His jealousy of the other place settings ceased with his appetite long gone.

Nevertheless, Dale obliged the teenage girl, recognizing her to be Chrissy Cunningham when he stepped closer to sit. An eerie flavor of fear stretched her face, silencing her lips with amateur stitching.....

[stormzyismyson]

GADDAFI

Most libyans lived in an impoverished state. Their ruler pro west King Idris The First was a highly corrupt man. An army officer aged 27 Muammar Gaddafi, while the ruler was away for treatment at Turkey, staged a coup detat which didn't suffer much resistance (Operation Jerusalem). He built many schools, hospitals, infrastructure with the oil money flowing in the country.

Gaddafi's ideological father figure was Gamal Abdul Nasser. On Nasser's death, he saw it as an opportunity to take over. The Palestinian group responsible for 1972 Munich Olympic killings was Black September which was funded by Gaddafi. The terrorist bodies were brought by flights to Libya and the terrorists later freed were also brought to Libya to demonstrate Gaddafi's power.

Gaddafi funded Nelson Mandela because he knew that with the size of his population (6M), he could hardly have a say in geopolitics. Gaddafi funded many terrorist and rebel groups like IRA(Irish Republican Army), various groups in Germany, Italy.

He writes a book which was introduced in schools. Gaddafi declares himself a brother leader not a head of state. He had a vast police network so nobody dared say or goagainst him. He orders execution of a person in front of a whole crowd including bunch on 6 yo's. Gaddafi made sure that his assassinations were done in public.

The US navy in 1986 was performing naval training in Mediterranean Sea as they had before . Gaddafi threatened the Us but Us retaliated saying it was training on international waters. Libya fired 6 missiles. America destroyed 3 Libyan petrol carriers and 1 missile installation.

A bomb explodes in The American place, a club in Germany, where Us soldiers used to hang out. 2 serviceman killed. Gaddafi's house is flattened. Gaddafi escapes unharmed but he claims his adopted daughter wasn't so lucky (Operation el dorado). Earned sympathy.

A passengers plane is blown up which crashes in Scotland and caused 270 deaths. 4 years later, investigation revealed 2 libyan agents planted the bomb. Oil sanctions were imposed on Libya. Gaddafi's former foreign minister who had turned against him was now kidnapped by his men. He keeps him in his freezer.

Gaddafi invented more ludicrous titles for him such as Imam of all Muslims, Dean of Arab Rulers, King of African Rulers. His attention seeking tendency made him wear absurd flamboyant clothes. His billboards were everywhere. He set up a guard made up entirely of women called Amazonian Guards (Revolutionary Nuns)which had several beauty standards to be eligible. These women to became a part of his harem. Wives and daughters of various critics of Gaddafi were picked up and violated to humiliate them.

Gaddafi condemned 9/11, put out an arrest warrant for Osama and offered to donate blood to victims. Libya ties with West are resurrected.

In 2011,the Arab spring started. The revolts are crushed by Gaddafi. NATO comes out in support of the Libyan opposition and air strike Gaddafi's forces. By Oct 11,he's fleeing from city to city. After 42 years, Gaddafi's reign is over. The 2011 revolution has quickly turned in a civil war. The country is still struggling.

[surveysand]

two.

1. Have you ever had a pillow explode feathers everywhere? no.

2. Have you seen the new Seeing Red movie on Disney+? no, but i should. i've heard great things. 3. Are you able to taste the difference between Pepsi & Coke? yes, pepsi is much sweeter in my opinion. 4. What was your last reason for projectile vomiting? being drunk. 5. What are some of your hobbies that you enjoy? collecting vinyl, going to concerts, and reading.

6. Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? if i'm talking about a specific store, american eagle. 7. Where was your best hide & go seek spot as a child? in the box of blankets my family had in the living room. 8. Do you have a favorite Disney princess? mulan (not sure if she counts because she was a real person) and tiana. 9. When’s the last time you had to attend a staff meeting? september, when i was still working at my previous job. 10. Are you still required to wear a mask where you live? no, only in the hospitals and other medical facilities. i know some tattoo shops still require it too. 11. What’s your favorite type of sandwich? i don't have a favorite that has a dedicated name, but i'm a simple girl: turkey, cheese, lettuce, and mayo, all on wheat. 12. What’s the last piece of furniture you purchased? a shelf. 13. What are the colors of the walls you are currently in? off-white. 14. What is your phone’s battery percentage at right now? 43% and charging.

15. In your opinion, what is one of the most unpleasant smells? public bathrooms. i hold my breath until i'm able to get to a stall and then i cover my nose/mouth with my clothes. 16. Is there a popular food out there that you do not enjoy at all? bacon. yuck. 17. How do you like your steak? medium well or medium rare.

18. How many pages was the last book you read? not sure. it was a book for one of my classes that i can't remember the name of. 19. Are you easily distracted? yes. 20. Do you have any desire to travel to Guam? no, but i wouldn't turn down an offer to visit if presented with the chance.

[ourlittlesister2015]

I was just chilling with my dad this afternoon while he was like ironing clothes and watching volleyball. And like every time we watch something together or I'm just for some reason on that tv the first thing he does is kick me out of his side of the bed bc its also my side of the bed but the bed is his. Anyways today when he was done he just turned off the lights and lied down beside me to finish watching turkey beat serbia and i could literally feel my heart about to explode

[ieatsurveys]

76.

1. Have you ever had a pillow explode feathers everywhere? Nope.

2. Have you seen the new Seeing Red movie on Disney+? No.

3. Are you able to taste the difference between Pepsi & Coke? Meh, not really.

4. What was your last reason for projectile vomiting? Hahahahah, too much sushi.

5. What are some of your hobbies that you enjoy? Reading, painting.

6. Where do you buy the majority of your clothing? Amazon.

7. Where was your best hide & go seek spot as a child? I sucked at that game.

8. Do you have a favorite Disney princess? Belle, I guess. But, is she really a princess?

9. When’s the last time you had to attend a staff meeting? We don't do staff meetings at my job.

10. Are you still required to wear a mask where you live? To doctor offices, yes.

11. What’s your favorite type of sandwich? Turkey.

12. What’s the last piece of furniture you purchased? Probably my end tables.

13. What are the colors of the walls you are currently in? White.

14. What is your phone’s battery percentage at right now? 91 percent.

15. In your opinion, what is one of the most unpleasant smells? Rotten eggs.

16. Is there a popular food out there that you do not enjoy at all? Hm, probably.

17. How do you like your steak? Medium-rare.

18. How many pages was the last book you read? I'm too lazy to check.

19. Are you easily distracted? While watching stuff, yes.

20. Do you have any desire to travel to Guam? No.