#turbulence in chicago

[asterlark]

today has been like. 2 weeks' worth of days.

[jzmn8r]

Visual rep of me in an in n out

[megalony]

She's My Daughter

This is an Eddie Diaz imagine based on a few combined requests. I really had fun with this one and might do a few more parts if anyone would be up for it. Feedback is always appreciated.

Taglist: @lunaticspoem@sj-thefanthefan@hellsdragon@im-an-adult-ish@crazylittlethingg@allauraleigh@onceuponadetectivedemigod@ceres27@avyannadawn@sleepylunarwolf@coverupps@justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @topguncultleader @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts

911 Masterlist

Summary: Eddie is ready to introduce his family to his team, but introductions go a little wrong when his wife has a seizure and his daughter crashes into the station... quite literally.

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Is that a thing… bringing families to the station?" Eddie looked around the table of familiar faces, gauging their reactions to see if this was a joke or if Hen was actually being serious.

Eddie had done a lot of different, odd jobs since coming out of the army and none of those jobs had felt so much like a family as this one. He had never been that close to the people he worked with. Becoming a fire fighter and working in the 118 made Eddie feel like he had a proper family, not like the loose, estranged one he had back in Texas. He felt like he had a father in Bobby, a brother in Evan and another sister in Hen.

He stabbed a bit of pasta on his fork and waved it around his plate before he looked over at Bobby for confirmation.

"Yeah, families are always welcome here. We throw parties, barbeques and cookouts and everyone is invited. Do you have people you'd like to bring round?" Bobby leaned back in his chair with a gracious smile.

He tried to let all of his team know that family always came first. They were all welcome to bring their families to look round the station, meet the team and get to know everyone. They were all a family here and therefore Bobby wanted it to feel homely and for everyone to get along and know each other.

A gentle smile formed on Eddie's lips as he set down his fork and interlaced his fingers together beneath his chin.

"I uh, I'd like my family to meet you all, if that's okay?"

He had been working here for over three months now, it felt the right time to introduce his family to his team. They protected him at work every day, they had a right to meet the people they helped send him home to after every shift.

"Bring them for dinner one day this week."

"So, who are we meeting? You said you have a few sisters, right?" Evan reached out and patted his hand against Eddie's shoulder with a grin that started to morph into a confused frown when Eddie shook his head.

"I was thinking more about my wife and kids."

"You have kids?" Hen smiled, but she couldn't keep the surprise from her voice or stop her brows from arching up. Eddie never said anything about a family. He talked to Evan and opened up to him more than the rest of them, but he hadn't mentioned a family. They only knew he was married because of the wedding ring on his finger and Eddie didn't even talk about his wife to them so nobody asked.

"I have two girls and a boy." Eddie's face lit up into a grin at the thought of the four people he had waiting at home for him.

"How old?"

Chimney thought Eddie seemed the fatherly type. Whenever they were out on a call and kids were around, Eddie could always take charge. He talked to them in that soft voice and bent down to their level and seemed to understand whatever they were talking about or going through. But Chimney wouldn't have guessed he had so many kids.

"Bella's fourteen, Chris is nine and Rosie is only four months, we had her just after we moved to LA."

It had been a hectic time to decide to move away from Texas, but it had been the right thing to do. Eddie had a turbulent relationship with his parents, his dad had never really been involved in his life and as much as he loved his mother, she was overbearing.

It was hard when Eddie first came out of the army and had his parents around almost every day, acting as if he couldn't look after his two kids. Eddie brought up his sisters when he was a teen, he had been the man of the house while his dad worked away. He didn't want his parents on his doorstep everyday and everyone hovering around his kids or telling him his job wasn't right for him.

As for (Y/n), her relationship with her own mother was strained and she had no contact with her dad, so moving was a fresh start for everyone.

Eddie did his training for the fire department back in Texas, found the 118 and got his application all sorted and agreed before they moved. Three days into living in their new house in LA, Rosie decided she wanted to be born three weeks early so Eddie couldn't start with the department for a few extra weeks.

Now they were all settled into their home, the kids were settled at school and everything seemed to be slotting into place.

It was time Eddie introduced them to his work family.

***

Sinking back on his heels, Eddie swiped his bare arm against his temple and did a quick sweep around the truck. He tapped his fingers against his thighs and shuffled to lean over the side of the truck. He had fixed the ladder back into place and given the fire truck a quick clean while Hen worked on restocking the equipment in both the truck and the ambulance.

"Heads up, someone's got a clipboard handy."

Eddie pointed towards the stairs and gave Hen a certain, knowing look because he knew what was going to happen. She was going to argue with Evan because he was on one of his checklist rants. He was a menace with a clipboard and Hen lost her patience with him nine times out of ten.

He grinned at the way Hen sighed and planted her hands on her hips and silently shook his head with a raised brow.

Turning around, Eddie pushed up to his feet and slowly headed to the end of the truck towards the mini ladder to get back down.

"Excuse me… stop… stop!"

Eddie tilted his head up and glanced around, trying to locate Bobby when he heard his rather panicked voice. His eyes narrowed and his hands planted down on his hips as he stayed on top of the truck as his eyes landed on his captain.

Bobby was stood to the front of the station near the open shutters, holding both his hands out in front of him towards a car.

The car was juttering back and forth and whoever was driving had their foot on the gas pedal, reving the engine as if wanting to make an entrance and gain everybody's attention. But they weren't slowing down. The car jolted backwards, then surged forwards and sped through the shutters. No one was supposed to drive into the station. There was a car park round the back for staff when they arrived and a small car park at the front for any visitors or emergencies.

What on Earth was the driver doing?

Panic shot through Eddie's chest and his complexion paled when he leaned forward and narrowed his eyes at the number plate.

Oh God.

That was (Y/n)'s car.

"Fuck!" Eddie turned on his heels and clambered to the end of the truck, grabbing the handles of the ladder so he could slide down and jump down to his feet. His boots thudded against the floor and his knees jerked from the impact but he paid it no mind. "That's my wife's car!"

His feet moved faster than his mind could comprehend and he sped past Hen who followed hot on his heels. He weaved past the ambulance and moved towards Bobby who was stood in the middle of the station floor, his arms still out in front of him to try and stop the car from crashing into any equipment or the ambulance.

"Christ- (Y/n) stop the car!" What the Hell was she doing? Eddie tangled one hand in his hair as he held his breath. His wife wasn't a bad driver. She was quite a good driver considering she hadn't been driving for very long. She knew what she was doing and she knew not to drive into the middle of the station like this. She must be having some kind of emergency to be doing this.

Eddie's hand fell from his hair and he surged forward when the car juttered again and almost hit Bobby. And when Evan ran into the situation, he planted his hands down on the bonnet and hit it a few times to try and get her attention and make her stop.

A sudden burst of anger radiated through Eddie when he leaned down to look through the window. That wasn't his wife.

He got close enough to grab the handle and wrenched the door open, letting it swing far and wide before he leaned down and pushed into the car. His knees hit the chair and his shoulders pinned up against the roof as he leaned in the middle and yanked on the hand break to stop the car rolling backwards or surging forwards and running over his colleagues.

As quick as anything, Eddie unclipped the seatbelt before he wrapped his hand tightly around her arm and pulled back, yanking her out of the car with him.

"Isabella Diaz! What the Hell are you doing?!"

Eddie took a few steps back and pulled his eldest child along with him. His chest heaved and his lungs burned as he tried to take proper breaths but it felt like he was being suffocated.

His hands moved out to cup Bella's face and he tilted her head up so they were level and he could look her over. His eyes swept up and down her frame, looking for injuries or any signs of a problem or an issue. But all Eddie could see was her face turning a dark shade of red, her eyes puffing up and tears drenching down her face.

"That's uh… that's your wife?" Evan clamped his hands down on his hips but he frowned when Bobby hit him in the shoulder as a silent bid to tell him to be quiet. But Eddie was the one who said it was his wife's car coming into the station.

If that was his wife, then there were a few problems around here.

"Dad!" Bella moved her hands up to cup Eddie's wrists and took a second to try and catch her breath.

She had done it. She had gotten the car down to the station- the right station, where her dad would be. She had gotten them here in one piece and now she could get them to help her mum.

Fury bubbled up in Eddie's eyes when he looked over at Evan. He was starting to think of Evan as one of his closest friends. But he didn't think Evan would actually believe that this was his wife. As if he thought Eddie was some kind of weirdo who would go round marrying someone over half his age? What did he take him for?

"She's my daughter." He snapped back, somewhat rudely before his attention turned back to Bella and he started to smooth his thumbs beneath her eyes. He leaned down and pressed his forehead against hers, silently telling her to talk to him and explain.

"Mum- mum's had a seizure," Bella pulled on Eddie's hand and pointed into the car.

She watched the way his shoulders slumped and his face fell completely and his jaw slacked but he couldn't fathom what to say.

His hands left her face and he turned around and propelled himself around the car. His hand scraped against the bonnet to help guide him round and stop him from skidding as he nudged past Evan to get to the passenger side. He opened the door and crouched down beside the chair to look over his wife.

"Can someone get the kids out please?" Eddie's lips pursed when he glanced in the back and felt his heart dropping down to his stomach.

Chris and Rosie were in the back.

Bella had driven all the way here with the kids in the back and (Y/n) mostly unconscious in the front seat. She could have gotten them all killed. She didn't have a licence and she didn't know how to drive. Bella shouldn't have been on the road and if her parking in the station was anything to go by, she would have been a menace on the roads.

Hen mumbled a quiet 'Hi cutie' as she unclipped Rosie from her carrier and gently picked her up, shushing her when she began to scream her little head off. And Evan moved round behind Eddie and grinned down at Chris who had a teddy pinned to his chest and was rocking back and forth in a mixture of stimming and panic. He picked him up when Chris didn't object and moved to stand over beside Hen while Bobby moved to kneel behind Eddie.

"Baby… baby, you with me?" Pushing up, Eddie moved his hands to cup (Y/n)'s face and gently tilt her head from where it was slumped against the door frame and the seatbelt.

He pushed his thumbs against her cheekbones to try and stimulate her before he moved his hand round and pressed his fingers against her neck to check her pulse.

A light tremble was rattling through (Y/n)'s body that was pushing back into the seat and Eddie could see a trail of blood trickling down her lower lip towards her chin. She had bitten her lip or her tongue during the seizure enough to make it bleed.

Her eyes were closed and when Eddie pulled up her eyelid to try and check her pupils, he growled. Her eyes were rolled to the top of her head.

"I take it this is your wife? Is she epileptic?" Bobby rested one arm on the roof of the car and leaned in to try and take a look at (Y/n).

They were supposed to meet Eddie's family in three days, he was going to bring them down to the station for dinner so they could all be introduced and get to know each other. This was not the way Eddie wanted them all to meet and this wasn't the kind of situation he wanted his kids to be involved in. His daughter had been panicked enough to try and drive the car down here to get help.

"She was diagnosed four years ago, but she hasn't had a seizure in months. She has absent ones, not like this." The last seizure Eddie could remember (Y/n) having was when she was pregnant with Rosie and that had been a small one while they were at home in the evening. She hadn't suffered with them for a long while.

When she first got diagnosed, (Y/n) was having two or three absent seizures a week and the odd tonic seizure where she tensed up and jerked around. She had been put onto meds to stop them and her meds had been reduced last year because she was doing so well not having any.

"Alright baby, let's get you out." With one arm around her back, Eddie unclipped her belt and slipped his other hand beneath her knees.

He pulled back and shuffled (Y/n) into his arms, letting her head loll on his shoulder with Bobby's hands on her neck to try and keep her steady and stop any damage from happening. Eddie stood up and took a few quick steps away from the car and over near the ambulance before he went down on his knees and eased (Y/n) down to the floor.

He laid her down and knelt down behind her, resting her head and shoulders over his lap before he started to run his hands up and down her arms to try and stimulate her and bring her back around.

"I'll take the kids up to the kitchen, come on." Evan gently eased Rosie from Hen and into his own arms and moved his free hand against Chris's back. Gently urging him to walk with him. He would get Chris a drink in the kitchen and settle him in front of the tv to try and calm him down and let him know that everything was alright now.

"Is mum okay?"

Before she could stop herself, Bella curled her hand around Hen's upper arm and stood close to her side with her left arm wrapped tightly around her middle to try and calm herself down and make herself breathe better. She leaned her head on Hen's shoulder, unable to stop the tears from falling again.

She had done well not to cry or burst into sobs while she was driving down here. Bella had told herself to be stern and calm so she didn't crash and hurt her whole family. It had worked. But now she was here, safely where she wanted to be, she could feel herself starting to shake and her chest was tightening up.

"Amor what happened?" Eddie lifted his head to look over at his daughter who took a few daring steps forward with Hen who was comfortingly holding her wrist and smiling at her. "Why did you drive here? You could have called 911." He couldn't see why Bella would take the risk of driving down here instead of calling for an ambulance.

She could have asked them to inform Eddie of the situation or call him once she'd called for help. It seemed drastic for her to pack everyone into the car and drive down here when she didn't know how to drive and Bella had been adamant she never wanted to learn to drive. She thought it was too scary.

"We were driving and mum felt sick, s-she pulled over but when she got out… she collapsed on the pavement. She had a seizure and I panicked… I p- I got her in the car, we were only f-five minutes away so… so I drove."

Tears drenched Bella's face as she tucked herself more into Hen's side and coiled both her arms around her chest, swaying back and forth.

She didn't know what to do.

One moment, (Y/n) pulled over and got out the car saying she was going to be sick, but the next thing Bella knew, her mum was on the floor having a seizure. And not the kind of seizure she usually had. She was flailing about, jerking, hardly breathing and biting her lip so hard she was froffing blood. When it stopped, (Y/n) wasn't talking and she was barely moving.

Bella didn't want to call an ambulance and leave the car on the side of the road and have to get Chris and Rosie rammed into the back of a crowded ambulance. She knew her dad was only five minutes down the road and it seemed like an easy task to drive straight down the road and turn a corner and reach the station.

And it was an emergency. If someone pulled her over, she would still get help either way.

So she managed to hoist her mum up and help her flop into the car and she did her best to drive down here while her mum had another seizure on the way.

All she wanted was Eddie.

"Cap…" Hen looked between Bobby and Bella until he got the silent message and nodded. They needed to switch places so Hen could help Eddie get (Y/n) stabalised and sorted out and someone needed to stay with Bella and calm her down.

Hen gently eased herself from Bella's side when Bobby walked over and curled his arm around her shoulder to try and give her some comfort. But just as Hen reached into the ambulance and grabbed her medic bag, she froze when Bella cried out and a few Spanish profanities slipped past Eddie's lips.

Eddie's hands moved to hold (Y/n)'s shoulders and he shuffled back before he tried to turn her over. He eased her onto her left side and knelt behind her with one hand cupping the back of her neck and his other hand lightly rubbing up and down her arm. She was going into another seizure. He kept her head tilted forward, Eddie didn't want to risk (Y/n) biting down again and choking on her tongue or on the blood welling up in her mouth.

"Alright, I've got you baby, it's okay." Eddie pressed his knees into her back to keep her kept on her side while Hen knelt down in front of her with her medic bag at her side.

While Hem rummaged around for some meds in the bag, Eddie swiped the stethoscope which he tucked into his ears and carefully pressed down between (Y/n)'s shoulders to listen to her breathing. He then curled his chest over her arm and pressed it beneath her shirt to listen to her heartbeat.

"Breathing's good, heart sounds fine."

"Pushing diazepam,"

Eddie gripped (Y/n)'s upper arm and tried to hold her trembling limb steady so Hen could inject the diazepam into her shoulder. It was the safest palce to administer meds when the rest of her body was violently jerking back and forth. And (Y/n) was already bleeding from the mouth, they couldn't administer any emergency tablets under her tongue right now. This was the next best option to try and stop the seizure and spasms.

"Dad…" Bella tried to run forward but Bobby reacted faster. He wrapped his arm around her waist and pulled her into his chest, almost lifting her from her feet to stop her from reaching her parents. It wasn't safe for her to try and get involved. (Y/n) was being looked after.

Eddie lifted his head and tightened his hands over (Y/n)'s arm and neck when his eyes locked with his daughter who was almost the double of his wife.

"Carino stay with Bobby. It's okay." Eddie nodded his head until Bella stopped writhing in Bobby's hold and settled down. He didn't want her getting distressed either or trying to bustle over here. She needed to stay there, safe and out the way.

"It's working, she's calming down." Hen found a saline bag and the necessary needles in the medic bag and placed them by her thigh, ready to give to (Y/n) when the spasms fully wore off. The last thing she needed was to try and push an IV into (Y/n)'s hand and have her go back into another seizure and rupture a vein.

"She's gonna be sick."

Eddie reached his arm out and pressed his hand into Hen's shoulder, trying to nudge her to the right to get her out the way.

He moved his hands back to (Y/n) and tilted her chin down, keeping his fingers curled around her neck to keep her head down so she didn't choke. While he brushed her hair behind her ear and reached down to cup her wrist and pull her hand back.

He could see the way her stomach was tensing and sucking inwards and her chest was pushing forward instead of convulsing.

"Let it out, baby. Good girl," He leaned over to kiss her shoulder and slipped his hand from her wrist to grip her hand. Both he and Hen watched her chest closely and made sure she was still breathing and not choking.

A wave of relief tremored through Eddie when he felt (Y/n)'s fingers twitch against his hand and her arm suddenly jerked out. She coiled her arm to her chest, pulling Eddie's arm along with her which made his chest press down into her shoulder so he could curve around her.

Her knees tensed and kicked back and forth in an attempt to try and bring her knees up to her stomach. A burning gasp mixed with a cry vibrated past (Y/n)'s lips and her temple bashed into the floor when she tried to turn her head and press her face down into the floor.

With a deep breath, Eddie inched himself backwards and gently scuffed (Y/n) along with him to get her away from the puddle of sick. He let go of her hand and moved his arm around her waist and with his other hand against the back of her head, Eddie gently lifted her up. He reeled her up and let her flop back into his chest with a thump. Her head lolled into the crook of his neck and her temple pressed into his chin with a groan.

While she started to take deep breaths and murmur incoherent noises against Eddie's neck, Hen reached out and pulled her hand onto her thigh. She quickly slipped the needle into her vein and capped the IV in, keeping the tube wide open to let as much saline flow through her veins as possible. The seizures would have taken a toll on (Y/n) and they needed to boost her levels back up and get her back to normal again.

"It's alright baby… are you back with me now, hm?" Eddie kissed her temple and kept one hand pressing down on her stomach while the other hand feathered up and down her arm.

(Y/n) turned her head from left to right, wincing and whining when Hen pulled her eyelid up and flashed a light across her pupils. At least her eyes were now back down and looking ahead instead of rolled up to the back of her skull.

"Eddie,"

A spasm rolled through (Y/n) and sent her right side jerking out with her foot scraping the floor, her leg jostling from side to side and her right arm bashed down into her chest making her cry out. It was like the last waves of electricity were rolling through her on their way out of her system.

She could feel sparks flying down to her toes and her fingertips had gone stiff like they were turning to stone.

The feeling of Eddie's lips pressing into the side of her head was comforting and his hands were squeezing her skin with his arms wrapped around her like a security blanket. But (Y/n) couldn't work out why Eddie was holding her. Why was he here? When did he get here? What were they doing?

"Yeah, it's me baby."

"Home?"

"Home? No, you're not going home mi amor." Eddie sighed into her hair and smothered the top of her head with his lips as he tightened his arms around her waist.

There was no way he was taking her back home. He had to take her down to the hospital along with the kids to get her checked out before he even thought about taking her home.

"Home… you- you're home," (Y/n) tried to keep her eyes open but everything was so bright she wished the world would shut down and turn pitch black. Her face pressed as deeply into Eddie's neck as she could until she was almost smothering herself and she could feel very bob of his Adam's apple and each harsh breath he took.

"You're not at home, baby… you're at the station. You were driving, you and the kids, in the car…?" Eddie wasn't used to (Y/n) being this confused after a seizure. But then again, she'd had about three of them in the last hour from what Bella had told them. She was bound to be confused and agitated and scared.

He could feel (Y/n) shaking her head into his neck, she didn't believe or understand what he was telling her and he knew it was pointless to try and talk her through it now.

(Y/n) could barely see a thing when she managed to keep her eyes open for longer than a few seconds. She tightened her right hand around Eddie's palm but when she moved her left hand to try and reach up to hold onto him, something caught her eye. Her blurred vision tried to focus on her hand and her lips curled into a frown when she noticed a pastel white and leaf green plastic cap in the back of her hand, connected to a thin tube.

Whatever that was, (Y/n) didn't want it.

Her hand let go of Eddie's palm and before he could ask what she was doing, (Y/n) huffed and scratched off the cap in her hand.

"Oow," Tears stung in the corners of her eyes and she whimpered when her left hand started to spasm and a trickle of blood started oozing down and slithering between her fingers.

"Baby!" Eddie scolded through clenched teeth. "No- no, stop. Baby let me fix it, okay?"

Eddie perched his chin on (Y/n)'s right shoulder and wrapped his right arm around her chest, pinning her arm between them so she couldn't fight him or try and stop him from patching up her hand. He held her left wrist in both hands and pushed his chin down into her shoulder both to comfort her and make her stop wriggling.

He held her hand out towards Hen who was quick to run a swab over her hand to clean the blood before she carefully pushed the needle back into her hand and connected the tube back up.

"Bandage it please." Eddie whispered quietly, relieved when Hen smiled and grabbed a small roll of bandage.

Eddie had had this fight hundreds of times when (Y/n) was admitted to the hospital. Especially after she gave birth. She never wanted the canula in and always tried to take it out until Eddie bandaged her hand up so she couldn't see or touch it.

"Mum?" Bella pushed forward when Bobby let her out of his hold and allowed her to rush over and kneel down beside Hen.

She reached her hands out and wrapped her arms around both her mum and her dad, wedging (Y/n) between them in a hug. She tucked her face into (Y/n)'s neck, unable to stop crying when she felt her mum kiss her temple and try to hold her hand.

"Bella, wait here for a minute please while I move your mum." Eddie curled his fingers in the back of her hair and kissed her temple before he motioned for her to shuffle back a bit. He slipped his arms back around (Y/n)'s back and beneath her knees to pick her back up, relieved that she could seemingly move again. She hooked an arm around his neck and closed her eyes, tucking her face into his chest as he aimed for the ambulance.

Eddie knew the moment (Y/n) woke up properly and became aware of where she was and what was happening, she would kick off. She didn't like hospitals and she wouldn't want to be in an ambulance, but he had to get her to hospital. And he wanted to at least lay her on the gurney so she could start to come back round properly.

"I'll be two minutes, baby, I'm just gonna get the kids. This is Hen, she'll wait with you."

Once (Y/n) was laid on the gurney, Eddie kissed her temple and brushed his thumb over her cheek. He had a feeling she would pass out and have a nap, she didn't look like she could stay awake for much longer and he wouldn't blame her. It would be easier to transport her if she went to sleep for a while.

He patted Hen's shoulder, whispering a quiet 'thank you' in her ear before he climbed down and moved over towards Bella who was stood off to the side. both arms cocooned around her chest that was trembling and tears were flushed down her face.

The moment he was within reach, Bella tangled her arms around his torso and buried herself into his chest. He could feel her tears soaking into his shirt and each quiet sniffle she let out as she trembled so much she made Eddie start to shake back and forth. He wrapped an arm around her waist and tangled his other hand in her hair, cupping the back of her head while he leaned down to kiss her temple.

"Shh, it's alright carino."

"I- I'm sorry… I'm sorry daddy-"

"It's okay." Pulling back, Eddie moved his hands to cup her face so he could tilt her head up while his thumbs swiped away the tears tracing down her face. "I'm not mad, I swear."

"But… but the car…"

"I don't want you driving the car again, I mean it. But I'm not mad, you panicked and you came straight here, you got help. But next time, you don't try and drive the car with the kids in the back. You call an ambulance and then call me and I'll always come get you. Okay?"

There was no way that Eddie could be mad at her. She had been in a stressful situation and in her panic, she made a decision. It might not have been the right decision in the long run, but she had gone along with it and got everyone here in one piece. She brought (Y/n) somewhere safe and got her help and everyone was okay which was the main thing.

But if something like this ever happened again, Eddie needed Bella to call for help rather than take it into her own hands to find help herself.

She could have gotten herself into serious trouble if someone reported her or witnessed her or if she crashed. She could have made everything worse if she crashed the car with her unconscious mum and younger siblings in the car with her.

Eddie was going to be having nightmares about this for weeks, he could feel it.

"Okay," Bella nodded frantically before she pushed forward and tucked herself back into Eddie's chest, binding them both together like she was never going to let him go. Her arms stayed tightly bound to him until he held her shoulders and gently nudged her back so he could turn towards Evan who was walking their way with Rosie in his arms and Chris by his side.

"Everyone okay now?"

Eddie sighed through a smile and nodded his head, leaning forward to kiss Rosie's forehead before he reached over for Chris and picked him up. He kissed Chris's cheek and sat him on his hip although he could still feel Bella stood close to his side with her hands wrapped around his arm.

"Mummy okay?"

"She's fine, buddy. We're gonna take her down to the hospital though to get checked over, okay?" Eddie leaned back and took a glance over his shoulder towards the ambulance. He could guess that since (Y/n) wasn't arguing or shouting or crying out for him that she had indeed fallen asleep.

He could get Bella to ride in the ambulance with (Y/n) and the team while he took Chris and Rosie in (Y/n)'s car and followed behind them.

"Bell went through a red light," Chris leaned his head on Eddie's shoulder and grinned when Bella reached her hand out and lightly tapped his arm before she pressed her finger to her lips.

Her head tilted down and her eyes stayed on the floor when she felt her dad's piercing gaze fall on her and she could feel his elbow jutting into her side when he clamped his free hand down on his hip.

"Did she now?"

Lifting her gaze, Bella tried to smile but when she looked across at Evan, he was grinning at her and silently gave her a thumbs up with his hand hidden at his side so Eddie wouldn't see. "You said you're not mad at me," She whispered sheepishly, to which Eddie hummed with pursed lips.

He couldn't tell her off when he'd already explained he wasn't ngry and he knew she had acted out of panic. He just had to pray that within the next week, he wouldn't get any phone calls or letters to the house saying he had a traffic ticket for going through a red light or being caught speeding.

The only upside was that if that happened, Eddie could have a word with Bobby. He knew his captain would gladly talk to Athena and anyone else at the station to explain what had happened. They couldn't exactly charge Bella with anything when it was an emergency situation and she had done the right thing.

But Eddie's brows narrowed his chest tightened when he felt Chris lean up and whisper in his ear, "Bell hit a lamp post too."

"Isabella!"

[chrisgetsmewetter]

Mile high club

Pairing: Bratty!Black!fem x Dom!chris

Summary: you and chris are in a private plane section together, what’s gonna happen when everyone on the plane is sleeping and it’s just you two?

Warnings: Dirty talk, Overstimulation, sex obvi, oral, p in v, pet names (mama, ma, baby)

word count: 5.6k

authors note: i hope u guys like this one😝 i had a fun time writing it and i think y’all will like it toooo. enjoy you lil freaky frogs

★·.·´¯`·.·★. Ⓢт𝔢𝔽𝓲𝔼. ★·.·´¯`·.·★

you and Chris have been together for over a year, which is crazy because of how much commitment issues he said he had.

you’ve gone public recently and most people have given you a ton of loves so now your youtube channel of 7.3mil has went up to 9mil.

because of this you and the triplets had the idea to go on a combined tour which sold out immediately. now you guys are in the airport going to the next city.

“okay ma’am step here” the security guard gets the metal detector and goes down my body slowly. then you look at chris nervously as they get down to my boobs

“BEEP BEEP BEEP!!” chris bursts out laughing and can’t even stand up straight so he leans on matt who chuckles but hides it

“um ma’am..” the security guard looks at me awkwardly

“oh sorry i have piercings..” the security guard widens his eyes and nods then continues scanning my body.

you notice chris staring at your ass as you impatiently wait for the security guard to be done

just when he finishes scanning the triplets you push chris by his arm “chris why’d you laugh at me” you pout as he laughed even harder.

“passengers on private flight 2834 to Chicago start boarding now” you and nick start jumping up and down excited to get on the plane “i can’t believe we got a private planeee i’m so excitedddd”

“I CALL SHARING WITH MY GIRLFRIEND” chris yells. you slap his arm for being so loud since it’s nighttime.

nick rolls his eyes and groans already walking towards the plane then matt grabs your small suitcase that chris nor you couldn’t carry

he looks at nick and frowns jokingly “so u don’t wanna sit with me nick” matt says in his baby voice

“no actually. i want to sit by my best friend but chris’ crusty bitchass won’t let me, i know it”

you see chris stick his tongue out at nick while smacking your ass “chris stop acting like a child” you say

“your ass just looks so good in those shorts ma i can’t help it” chris whispers in your ear and you can’t help to smile but also low key squeeze your thighs together

*

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- heyy bae how’s the flighttt?

little troll😻🧌- hii madii the pilot said we just took off and aren’t expected any turbulence, so me and chris are abt to watch a movie

little troll😻🧌- nick n matt are already sleep even tho we jus got on😔🤦🏾‍♀️

Madi w that fattyyy- i wish i could’ve cameee, what time is it where u are??

little troll😻🧌- it’s 11:25 at night girl we’re still in LA😭

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- oh..

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- wait. so u and chris in a private plane at night with evb sleep😧

little troll😻🧌- yes..🌚

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- y’all r abt to join the mile high club😰

little troll😻🧌- no.. we’re not madi😡

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- yea okay..

read 11:28

*

“what movie mama” chris takes your phone and throws it on the other side of him

“ooo let’s watch adventures in babysitting” you start to get excited and pull the blanket over yourself

“newer or older?” chris says smirking already putting on the older one

“noo the newer one is better why are we watching the old one”

“because we’re not gonna watch the movie” chris turns the volume up a little and takes his shirt off

“chris not in the plane !!” you whisper yell then look to see if anybody might’ve woke up

he takes advantage of you not paying attention and slowly slips your shorts off

“my god chris calm down” u see him slide under the blanket and pull your panties off

“we won’t have a lot of time to do this on tour so let’s take advantage of it.“ he looks up at you with low eyes “can i?”

as soon as you nod your head he slowly puts his long finger in your pussy.

“fuck mama ur so wet for me” he twists his finger and spits on your pussy and starts slurping it

“fuck chris oh my god” you whisper yell then chris slaps his hand over your mouth “we can’t do this on a plane !!” you squirm

“be quiet or i’m gonna stop” chris sternly looks at you and continues doing the fingering/eating combo.

he starts licking it and fingering you at an unbelievable pace then as he’s doing that chris licks up from your stomach then stops at your lips to kiss you

he starts to suck on your sweet spot right under your ear and then he feels your breathing slowly speed up and he fingers you even faster

your confused on how he’s doing it this fast but you enjoy it

“chris i’m gonna cum” you say as you feel your high coming up “yea baby cum for me” right as he said that you cum hard right on his fingers

then without giving you time to recover chris pulls his sweats taking his boxers off with them and strokes his dick and pushes it in your pussy without any hesitation

“fuck~ chris wait a sec- oh my god” you try to push his arms away but he grabs your wrists and pins them above your head

“you thought you were going a slut and wear those shorts then walk in front of me the whole day huh mama?”

you moan when you hear this, remembering that u indeed did intend to tease chris when you put them on

he smirks as he pounds into you not making as much noise as one would think “are you gonna be a good girl and give me words?”

you shake your head knowing exactly what you’re doing and what’s gonna happen. chris bites his lip and nods “well i guess i’m gonna have to treat you like the slut you are”

“turn around” his eyes are darker then ever so you comply. chris lays down, put props himself up and forcefully grabs your hair and shoved his dick down your throat

you started to lick his tip then spit on his dick making it easier to get in your mouth. you took his full length but gagged a bit.

you hear chris moan a bit as you felt his cock hit the back of your throat.

you loved every second of seeing his groan and shake because you usually have to force his submissive side to come out.

"Fuck I'm going to cum mama" chris said as he grabbed your hair. you felt his dick twitch a bit and his cum shot into the back of your throat as you swallowed it all

“fuck baby you’re such a good girl” chris wipes some saliva off of your lips and kisses you “you want me to get you some water?”

“yes please” you nod and chris helps you slide your shorts and t-shirt on.

—

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- y’all are nasty i just know it

little troll😻🧌- uhh🌚

Madi w that fattyyy😝🍑- disgusting🤦🏻‍♀️

[valleydean]

Chapter 1 [Read Here]

CHAMPION Part III of Heavyweight a deancas boxing au by valleydean (emmbrancsxx0) playlist | tip

SUMMARY: Brooklyn, 1933. Dean Winchester, the number one contender, trains to become the next Heavyweight Champion of the World, and this time he won't let anything get in his way. Title holder Castiel Novak has second thoughts about retiring, especially when someone from his past arrives in New York and asks for his help. Meanwhile, a new contender rises to fame and threatens to complicate both of Dean and Cas' ambitions - and their relationship.

PREVIEW:

An-gel Nov-ak! An-gel Nov-ak!

The crowd cheered for him from the bleachers of the world’s largest arena. Chicago Stadium had 26,000 seats, and every single one had been filled. There were men and women who paid more than they could afford for the rare chance of seeing the Heavyweight Champion of the World from the nosebleeds; and, sitting ringside, there were those who remained wealthy despite the turbulent times: celebrities and politicians, mobsters and socialites. All of their shouts sounded the same as they whooped and roared when Castiel knocked his opponent out in the seventh round.

Over an hour had passed since then. Now, the quiet hung like a curtain as Castiel stood in the center of the ring, and he assumed this would be the last time he’d ever perform in Chicago.

“What’s it like being back in your hometown?” the reporter from the Chicago Tribune had asked him in the post-fight press conference. Castiel had informed the man that Chicago wasn’t, in fact, his hometown. He’d never lived in the city. He’d only ever visited, and rarely. Besides, he hadn’t thought of Illinois as home for a very long time.

“After you retire at the end of the year, do you think Pretty Boy Winchester can win the title?” another reporter had asked. The question had made the raw, tender skin over Castiel’s knuckles stretch and burn when he tightened his fists under the table.

Yes, of course, I believe Dean will take my title next year. He’s more than deserving.

That had been his answer, the words coming out mindlessly from all the times he’d repeated himself before. They were truthful. He meant them. Castiel could tamp down the scalding pride in his chest at the thought of anyone but him wearing the belt. Because it wouldn’t be anyone. It would be the same man he’d look in the eyes every morning when he woke up.

Dean wanted the title, and he should have it. It was his turn and Castiel would support him every step of the way.

He’s more than deserving.

He just wished Dean had spoken to him before announcing to the world, right after Castiel’s first victory of the year when his wounds were still bleeding, that he would participate in a title fight after Castiel was gone. Maybe, if he’d given Castiel some kind of indication beforehand, it wouldn’t have felt like he was walking over Castiel’s grave.

Castiel scanned the arena outside of the ring. The house lights were on, making the place seem foreign and liminal. The spilled popcorn kernels, cigarette ash, and crumpled trash that lined the sticky floors served as the only signs that life had once been vibrant there. Castiel could still feel the hot overhead lights on his skin, just as surely as he felt the blood seeping onto his bandages and the bruises that would line his face tomorrow. He tipped his head back and closed his eyes.

Soon, bruises and blood would be a thing of the past. All the pain that came with victory wouldn’t plague him anymore. He could unclench his fists, relax his muscles, let his calloused knuckles soften and his bones heal from all the times they’d been broken.

He wondered if, like an ache on a rainy day, those fractured bones would remember the glory. If they’d whisper, or if they’d echo with yells.

An-gel Nov-ak!

The loud whining of a metal door struck the silence like a jab.

“Cas!”

The door clattered closed, and Castiel’s eyes fluttered open. His neck was starting to pinch. He leveled his chin and watched Dean stride down the aisle between the ringside seats, polished shoes crunching over debris as he went. He was still wearing his suit, his wool coat draped over his arm.

“I’ve been looking for you everywhere,” Dean complained. “The hell are you doing out here?”

“Thinking,” Castiel said simply, even though it felt like a lie. His mind had just been circling around the same thing it had been for nearly three months now: his retirement, and everything that went along with it. He’d asked Dean time and time again if he was doing the right thing. And, time and time again, Dean had assured him that he was.

He believed Dean, because Dean wanted what was best for him. They wanted what was best for each other. And yet, the question remained like a contusion on Castiel’s ribs.

Castiel resolved not to bother Dean with it anymore. The answer wouldn’t change, and neither would the circumstances. It was like Dean kept saying: it was okay to feel mixed emotions, and to be nostalgic. What Castiel felt was nothing more than that. Castiel would learn how to open his hands and put down the fight.

He still had eight months, two weeks, and a day to learn how.

Dean walked up the steps and ducked into the ring. “Okay. Thinking about what?” he asked, carefully hanging his coat on the ropes so it wouldn’t crease.

Castiel pressed his lips together and looked to the side, hoping to find an excuse. He remembered what the reporter from the Tribune had asked him. “My father used to take me to Chicago sometimes—before we had a car. He would make me load the pigs into the Studebaker wagon to trade them at the markets. The trip took almost nine hours. It smelled. But it was better than killing them.”

He brought his eyes back to Dean, who was furrowing his brow as if Castiel was insane.

“What?”

“You’re thinking about pigs?” Dean asked.

Castiel sighed wearily.

Dean shrugged. “Well, we could go see ‘em. If you want.”

Now, Castiel’s brow lined. “The pigs? I’m fairly certain they were slaughtered.”

“No, not the—” Dean groaned. “Your folks.”

Castiel would rather not.

“Might be nice,” Dean pressed on. “I wouldn’t mind meeting them.”

Castiel shook his head. “They don’t want to see me.”

“You mean, you don’t wanna see them?” Dean corrected, as if reading Castiel’s mind.

“I want to go to sleep,” Castiel answered, changing the subject. His face was beginning to pound, and he didn’t know if that was because of his wounds or the current topic. He walked from the center of the ring toward Dean, who was pouting.

“I thought we were gonna go out,” Dean reminded him. “Only got one more night here. I got some club recommendations before the fight.” He grinned handsomely, which he knew usually got him his way, and sauntered closer to Castiel. He wrapped his arms loosely around Castiel’s waist, making their chests brush. “Get some drinks in you and your face’ll hurt less.”

Castiel was exhausted, and it wasn’t as though Dean had never seen Chicago before, but he had promised Dean a night on the town.

“And you defended your title tonight,” Dean said. “That calls for a toast!”

“Is that what you want to do?” Castiel asked, his eyes drinking in Dean’s ruggedly enticing face. He cupped his sore hands around Dean’s elbows.

Dean smiled again. “Hell, yes!”

As much as Castiel wished he could rest, lying in bed right now wouldn’t be the same without Dean. He still hadn’t found a way to say no to Dean, anyway. “Fine. Then, let’s go.”

With a smug smile, Dean leaned in and pressed a quick kiss to the corner of Castiel’s mouth. It stung a little, but Castiel gladly took the pain that came along with the warm feeling the kiss left.

Dean pulled away and headed for his coat, saying over his shoulder, “C’mon, go put your tie and jacket back on. I’ll go get us a cab.” He left the ring and hustled down the stairs, headed for an exit door.

Castiel lingered for another second, looking over his shoulder at the center of the ring. Beyond, the stadium was still vacant. When it had been filled and the crowd had been cheering his name, he’d felt as if he’d been flying. He wondered if this was what it would feel like after he retired: like he was being pulled to the ground.

Shaking the thought away, he exited the ring and went to the dressing room to collect his things.

[highways-are-liminal-spaces]

sorry if this is like a loaded question, but given all the turbulence in the US and if money, logistics, etc. were no object, would you move to another country long-term or forever?

lol i’m not quite sure what this question is asking. would i move because i don’t like american politics? almost certainly not, there is not exactly a communist utopia to move to, i have a great job doing important work for some of the people most affected by, as you say, all the turbulence in the US, and you can get me out of chicago illinois over my own dead body.

there are definitely places i would be willing to live though, and i would do many many things for a passport that would get me into russia. which is not exactly a less politically turbulent country, but is where i would like to travel most (for far northern ecology reasons). i loved norway, but i think the u.s. capital-L-Liberal glorification of norwegian politics is pretty fucked up (especially given the fact that i spend more of my time fighting norway than the us in re: mining in the arctic ocean) and i definitely don’t want to be like “if trump wins, i’m moving to norway.”

[sidekick-hero]

Requesting a snippet of 'End of Beginnings' for WIP Weekend please and thank you!

Thank youuu for the tag 💖

Thank you Lily for requesting that one - you and @klausinamarink and @thefreakandthehair 💜💜💜 Thanks to you lovely friends, I finally started to put my thoughts into words, so have the first few lines of "End of Beginning" *smooch*

Steve is not sure what he expected to feel when O'Hare came into view through the tiny plane window. Nostalgia? Relief? A sense of coming home?

Mostly, he's tired. Has been for months.

Maybe more like two years, if he's honest with himself, something he's still working on. He scoffs at his younger self for thinking that by the time you hit 30, you are old and wise. A certified adult. Well, he is, on paper. He can buy alcohol, he pays taxes, he even owns property.

He may be getting older, sure, but he still feels like a kid most days.

He sighs deeply, a forlorn sound that draws a questioning look from the lady to his right. She probably recognized him, despite the cap and the sunglasses and the three-day beard, but she didn't say anything, and he's grateful for that. He gives her a friendly smile that hopefully says, 'I'm fine and I don't want to talk, but thanks for caring.'

She smiles back, two-thirds friendly and one-third confused, and Steve thinks he used to be good at this. Meeting strangers, making superficial connections, charming the people around him with a boyish smile and a few words. Not anymore, it seems.

He turns back to the window and the Chicago skyline, the setting sun bathing the city in an ethereal glow. It's no coincidence that he chose this flight.

The plane shakes as they begin their descent, and Steve finds himself smiling despite the sinking feeling in his stomach. Nothing says welcome to the Windy City like wind-induced turbulence on landing.

It reminds him of another turbulence he experienced in this city, caused by a very human whirlwind, and his stomach swoops again.

As the plane hits the ground, bouncing a few times before rolling gently toward the airport building, Steve feels something shift inside of him, like bones settling.

He's back in Chicago, back where it all started.

And that's with my WIP Weekend asks - maybe I should do a WIP Wednesday to celebrate being done with my RBB 🥰

[boo8008]

Three Months - Carmen "Carmy" Berzatto x Fem!Reader Chapter 01: Quadriller

Prologue | Chapter 01: Quadriller | Chapter 02: Mince

Series Summery: Its been one year since The Bear's soft open, and with everything running smoothly, Carmen's lost in his thoughts, until the final table of the night is seated.

Warnings: angst | fluff | ghosting mention | mentions of suicide | language | mental health | pining | unrequited love????? | substances (alc & weed) | overdose | yelling | grief | descriptions of panic attacks | eventual smut | new writer trying to write good

Chapter Summery: Carmen arrives in New York, happy to get away from the disaster of one Berzatto Family Christmas. You and carmen however both seem to be too nervous to talk to each other…for now. 

Quadriller (v.) to make criss-cross lines on the surface of food, as part of food presentation

Word Count: 2,821

My Notes bb: I’m sorry its so late tonight but I kept going down rabbit holes on information about actual food journalism and I also noticed I have a habit of explaining a lot and putting in random details that I think are important or cool but again this is my first Fanfiction I'm actually sharing so feedback is welcome. I will tell you now that nothing much happens this chapter save for reader and Carmy being introduced, but I do have a plan on that front its just again I'm overthinking stuff lol. Anyways I hope you all enjoy!

2019 (January) 

Carmen:

It was peaceful in the kitchen as Donna cooked over the stove, flipping pancakes and frying bacon as she smoked. Carmen, Natalie, and Mikey were sitting at the table as they all joked and talked about something or another. Donna placed the food on the table and they all dug in, each getting a small stack of pancakes and some bacon. Carmen was looking up at Mikey as he poured the syrup, laughing at whatever he was saying. 

As he looked down he was confused, written in syrup, “Fuck You Carmen” was on top of the pancakes. 

Carmen looked up feeling panicked, only to see the fork stuck atop the plate of cannoli. He looked around to see the far end of the table flipped over and a car that had crashed through the front room. Mikey was yelling at his mom and a horn was blaring, not loud enough to cover the infinite sounds of a million timers going off behind him, along with a smoke alarm. When he turned around to make them stop all he saw was black billowing smoke coming from the kitchen. 

Carmen jumped back to reality as the stewardess lightly shook him. Almost as soon as the plane lifted off the tarmac at Chicago O’Hare International Airport he was out like a light. He spent every second sense Christmas Eve beyond stressed and anxious. He was thankful Michelle and Stevie had agreed to let him come stay with them in New York after the new year. 

He hoped they hadn't changed their mind as he crossed into the baggage claim area, only to be greeted by Michelle and Stevie, who was holding a sign saying “BEAR-zatto” with a poorly done drawing of what Carmen thinks is a bear. He chuckled at the gaudy neon pink and glittery sign, happy they went so far as to let him come, let alone pick him up and make a sign.

“Oh there he is, Carmen!” Michelle called, waving him over after finally seeing him. “We were starting to think you bailed on us. How are you? How was your flight? Everything go okay?” She asked, now hugging him before pulling back to look at his face.

“Good, yea, fine, the flight was-the flight was good I slept through most of it,” Carmen said, still hazy with sleep as he rubbed the side of his face. 

“Glad to hear it! Beats our flight back. It felt like it was just crying babies and turbulence; couldn't sleep once,” Stevie chimed in, pulling Carm into an awkward side hug thanks to the just-barely-too-big-to-be-comfortable sign and Carmen’s duffle bag and backpack. An affirmative ‘hm’ was all Carmen could manage, unsure how to respond. Lucky for him, Michelle loves to talk and knew how to keep the conversation going.

“So which of these bags is yours?” she asked as the carousel began spinning and (somewhat violently) ejecting bags. “And how do you like your sign? Stevie’s friend made it; she's kinda like his family's Richie but a bit more-”

“Normal?” Stevie finished. 

“Exactly, yea, she thinks of that type of shit a lot,” Michelle continued. “She thought it would be a cute thing I guess, said something about how helpful it would be to find us sense we’d stick out and more welcoming than that one.” She gestured in the direction Carmy came from, where he passed a sign with standard corporate text that read ‘WELCOME TO NEW YORK’ and a flat drawing of the city. 

Carm was only half listening as Michelle raved on about how the girl did cutesy homemade things all the time and began to ponder why with Stevie, the two knowing the chatter didn’t really interest Carmy as more than background noise. He was on the lookout for his bag which held his prized knifes and chefs whites, just about everything else fit in his beat up duffle and backpack. He would have preferred to keep them with him at all times in an airport just to know they didn't get ruined or damaged in anyway during their transport. But he could also understand why the TSA would say to not bring knifes on a crowded, compact tube that floats in the sky. As soon as he spotted the black metallic cased bag carmen stepped and forward and grabbed it, checking the lock on the side as he stood next to his cousin. 

“Jesus Carmen what do you have in there, fucking launch codes?” Michelle asked, seeing the overprotective suitcase. 

“My knifes,” was all Carmen mumbled in response hoping it would do. Michelle just shook her head while Stevie nodded, both in disbelief at how weird he was about his tools.

“Anyways, as I was saying,” Michelle began, turning to lead the trio out to their car. “She's nice, and she's making us dinner tonight so don't be a dick. She's not a chef but god damn does she make a good baked chicken parm.”

You: 

Waking up already today felt nervous. You only had work and dinner with Stevie and Michelle and whoever-the-fuck that you couldn’t remember the name of right now but the thought of work was mixing with it. Having to meet new people was one thing that you saw as dreadful and anxiety inducing; who else could you need to talk to outside of work besides Stevie and Michelle? And having to schedule and deal with interviews with busy high end chefs was another thing. A thing where the problem mostly came when you tried to get things explained in simpler terms than the hoity-toity French or Italian words they chose. Sure you knew what quadriller was but not everyone knew what it meant. 

You could understand where they were coming from though in some cases. Mainly the Michelin star worthy ones who put so much pressure on themselves and the chefs under them to deliver perfection for an expensive dish made with the best ingredients. From what you could tell they mainly did it for the people that truly and deeply loved and enjoyed food and would save up to eat at such high end restaurants. It all led to them feeling drained at the end of the day, when the last thing they wanted to do was to explain something they knew so well they’d forgotten it was a name for something. 

Luckily today all you had to do was schedule and write a few more paragraphs on your Top Food Trends of 2018 article for your editor to see. You were still working on it and it needed a better name but that wasn't a priority right now, it was mainly getting the bulk of it done and written in words that were more than bullet points and shortened words. And you got off early enough that you had time to run home and hop through the shower before headed to the grocery store on your way to Stevie and Michelle’s. It was the first meal for the new year of your bi-weekly dinners and you knew they probably didn't have much to cook with sense getting back from their Chicago Christmas Trip. Normally Michelle would have stories about someone named Donna doing something crazy and while it was a little funny, when you gave it a seconds thought it made you sad for her family and her that she ended up the way she did. It was something you gotten drunk and emotional talking about with her and she could see your point but that's as much as you could remember of that conversation, besides asking her what the fuck seven fishes had to do with Christmas. 

You picked up all the ingredients you would need for chicken parmesan, garlic bread and a tub of gelato, Michelle always had some wine that would go perfectly with whatever pasta so you didn't worry about that. Hopefully the sign you made had gotten Michelle’s cousin’s attention and gotten them out of the airport in a timely manner before traffic hit so you could get a start on dinner as soon as you got there. They had given you a key a year ago so you could get in and start on dinner on days when they were running late, which was often, but you didn't mind as long as you got your fill on non-work related human interaction for the next two weeks. 

As you brought in your load of groceries, you saw you were right as far as the low-stocked kitchen. You connected to their bluetooth speakers and started a podcast you'd been meaning to catch up on and got to work. You'd comment on some parts to yourself and got lost in thought on the topic they were discussing and in no time you were putting almost everything in the oven, the bread could wait until 8 minuets before so it was al ready at the same time and the gelato was already in the freezer. 

It all seemed perfectly timed as your podcast ended and you were about to start another episode as you heard the front door open.

“God it smells so good!” you could hear Michelle call from the front door. You heard Stevie talking to someone and the sound of suitcase wheels and baggage moving through the front door. Michelle rounded the corner still in her coat and pulled you into a hug. “How are you? How was your week?”

“Fine, not a lot happening in the office so…” you trailed off as you hugged her back. “Got off early enough to shower before I got here.” She pulled back, finally taking off her coat as she headed towards the wine cabinet and Stevie rounded the corner with a beat up duffle bag slung over his shoulder and the neon pink sign you made. 

“Hey,” he greeted happily, followed by your name and as best a wave he could manage with a heavy duffle bag on him. “Let me put these down in the guest room and we’ll come actually say hi.” He jet pass the kitchen eager to get the bag off his shoulder and get his coat off and was quickly followed by the third person you still couldn't remember the name of. Cameron? Cory? Conner? Either way he gave you a vague nod of acknowledgement as he rushed pass you seemingly faster than Stevie. He had on a thick wool coat and a baseball cap, but besides that you didn't get a good look at him.

“So should we do the chianti or the pinot noir?” Michelle asked using her mocking tone on the fancy words, bringing your attention back to her as she held up the two bottles. 

“Chianti,” you chose. “I like the label more, its prettier.”

“That's one way to choose wine.” she said. She came back over to your side and pulled out the bottle opener as you grabbed the glasses. “Also I'm apologizing now if Carmen’s an asshole about dinner but it runs in the family.”

“Its cool, can’t be worse than Stephen…or you.”

“Oh fuck off,” she said with a smile, pouring the wine. “Who was he again?”

“The guy who wanted to be a ‘chef’ and narrated the whole time I made dinner and couldn't tell me what was wrong with the food besides ‘you just didn't do it right’,” you mocked his dumb voice as you remembered the date. “I mean I know I’m no Gordon Ramsey but I know what I’m doing in general.”

“Right that guy, Jesus your taste in people sucks,” she smiled as she slid the glass to you. 

“Yea yea,” you said, taking a sip of your wine as you looked at the timer on the oven and went to put the bread in the oven. “I’d rather have actual input from someone than that shit though.”

“What shit?” Stevie asked walking back into the kitchen, finally relieved of the duffle.

“Vague shit,” Michelle said, vaguely. 

“The best kind of shit,” Stevie pulled you into a hug as he finally said a proper hello to you. He turned some to the guy who entered earlier, Carmen you now knew. “This is Carmen, he's a chef, the one I was telling you about with the Noma and stuff.”

“Right, yea, hi,” you greeted, introducing yourself even though Stevie just did it for you, you'd cringe about it later. This is why you don't like meeting new people.

“Hi, your-your the journalist right?” Carmen stuck his hand out to shake yours, and now that he was right in front of you you got a good look at him. Crystalline blue eyes and dirty blonde hair that was all mess and curls, he looked tired and anxious. Even his clothing said so; a long sleeve white shirt pushed up to his elbows and jeans both of which seemed rumpled from the flight. You did take note of his tattoos, a snail on his forearm, and a Pyrex measuring cup with the world on the other, you saw on the hand shaking yours the SOU on his fingers.

“Yea food and stuff,” you said, bringing your attention back to his face. All around he was handsome but you could sense the same nerves you had on him. It was a relief when Stevie came back from putting his coat away asking how your Christmas was, saving you both from an awkward conversation. 

“Not bad,” you responded. “My parents went to Arkansas for family or whatever and said their sending me some stuff and I got to buy myself a nice dress and no one bothered me over the holiday, an all round a success in my book.”

Just then the oven went off, and you took up Carmen's mumbled offer to get the heavier pan with the chicken and pasta while you grabbed the bread and plates, deciding to come back for the utensils and cheese. Michelle took charge of hers and Carmen's glasses sitting them across from each other as Stevie took his own and the bottle. You had to admit, it felt nice with everyone helping. You came back to the table before realizing you left you own glass, and that you would be sitting next to Carmen and would definitely need it to talk to the stranger. 

Finally returning and looking to the table before sitting down you did one last check that everything was there; napkins, plates, forks all checked. The other three were already digging in as Michelle whispered something to carmen that sounded a lot like ‘don't be a dick’. You took one last second and turned on a relaxing playlist for the meal on a low volume and sat down.

“So,” you started. “How was your guys’s Christmas?”

“Shitty.”

“Awful.” 

Stevie just frowned and shook his head in response as the other two responded in unison.

“That bad, huh?” you asked, finally serving yourself. Michelle avoided by chugging her wine and Carmen did the same by stuffing his mouth. 

“I think its better if we don't talk about it,” Stevie said breaking the silence.

The rest of the meal passed well enough though and everyone seemed to like the gelato with the meal. Carmen didn't talk much, too stuck in his own head thinking about how he had to start looking for a job ASAP. What didn't help were the thoughts of how pretty you looked when he walked in, and especially now that he was closer seated next to you. Your hair and dress styled perfectly with some better suited shoes for the slippery winter weather outside. He quickly talked himself out of pursuing anything with you though, having the small bit of sense to not bring you into his fucked up personal life full of anxiety and stress and pepto. He didn't even know what to say to you now. How would he know what to say on a date? He knew you knew something about food but wasn't sure what exactly it was you knew. What if it was just something to pay the bills and you didn't actually like being a journalist on food? There were too many unknowns for him to be comfortable with anything other than small agreements and answers that were as short as possible whenever he was asked something, and he noticed you doing the same thing. 

You did your best to not be awkward with Carmen but you both had a wall put up to keep the newcomer out. If it weren't for Stevie and Michelle talking about their plane rides and new years eve stories your pretty sure it would be silent between the two of you. They tried to get you both involved but it was clear enough that wasn't going to happen… not tonight at least.

[hopelessromantic5]

SydCarmy clip

Artist Carmy

Sydney is his long lost muse.

TBC at a later date 💀

Carmen is a chef, that much is apparent.

But before that, he was an artist.

The notebooks that he kept hidden from the prying eyes of his disastrous family had been his only solace through a…turbulent childhood.

He would sketch whatever caught his eye. A specific bird with a pretty song. A wildflower on the playground that was shining extra bright in the sun.

As he grew, so did his art. Wobbly formations transformed into confident lines and lifelike shading. What was once inanimate became alive.

He drew what he knew. Sugar, Mikey, booths at The Beef, and most importantly, food.

It seemed that food was center of his existence. His mother, his brother, and then eventually, he himself was sucked into the love of food.

Maybe it started because no matter how many awful things they’d said to each other, dinner in the Berzatto house was never missed. They all sat, sometimes (most times) uncomfortably quiet. But still, they were together. A mess, but a mess that belonged to each other.

Maybe it was the way flavors on his tongue seemed to revive Carmy from the dead on days he didn’t think he wanted to be alive; bright mornings after a dreadful night of his mother screaming at him that he was useless, that he could never do anything right. All while she sobbed and shattered her wine glass against the wall.

But something about a breakfast sandwich from the Beef, perfectly curated by his brother, made him forget his life for long enough that he could ride to school in peace, sketching the layers to the egg and glazed bacon, the different cheeses, the perfectly toasted bun.

There was one awful attempt to draw this girl, Claire.

Carmen noticed her when she began hanging out with Mikey, which was already kind of a red flag. But for some reason, the sketches kept ending up distorted and, quite frankly, disturbing to look at. Carmen wound up ripping the pages out and burning them.

Of course, his notebooks and shading pencils began to form dust after Carmy gave his life over to cooking. Becoming a chef was exhausting, and maintaining life as a chef, a Michelin star retaining chef, was soul destroying.

Maybe it was just Carmen’s luck. Maybe he attracted assholes and bullies, people that liked to spit insults down his neck as he stood there and took it. Vomiting it back up, hours later in the alley.

Eleven Madison Park was the worst and best experience of his life. He wouldn’t be as good as he was without it, but he also wouldn’t be as fucked up, as mentally torn apart.

He didn’t think it couldn’t get any worse.

That is, until he got the call.

He should’ve known. Things can always get worse.

Yet, the ultimate dichotomy of the best and worst time of Carmy’s life was yet to come.

As he stood in the back of his dead brother’s collapsing, grease infested, death trap, an angel came to him.

Appearing in the form of a beautiful woman. Skin dark and rich, glowing with a shine all its own. Big, curious brown eyes nervously taking him in, announcing herself.

“Hi, hello. I-I’m Sydney, I called about the sous position? I’m staging today? I think you said I could stage today-“

Carmen’s head was completely fucked. He forgot about the lovely voice on the other end of the phone, after a long day of sarcastic, apathetic dickwads.

“Right! Shit, sorry. Yes, yeah. Carmy.” He gestured to himself.

He took her resume, and was blown away. Not only was she beautiful, she was also capable. Stacked by the CIA and extremely respected restaurants of Chicago.

He thought for a second that he may have been dreaming. The gods had answered his silent prayer of a reprieve in the form of this human goddess who was trained the same way Carmen was trained; knows the ins and outs of a kitchen the way he does. A true partner, in that way.

Nearly a year went by. Arguments were had and healed, copious amounts of cash was found amongst tomato sauce cans, and The Bear finally got off the ground running…after a few minor snags.

Carmy had resigned that night, in the walk-in, to call Claire one more time and end the entire thing, on top of apologizing vehemently. Apologize for ruining yet another good thing, another good person and then let her go on about her perfectly healthy life.

Carmen was ashamed to admit to himself, that he barely even liked her. Nothing was natural, everything felt like a show he was putting on for someone else. Maybe for Mikey, maybe for himself, who knows.

One thing Carmen did know, for sure; it was not good for him. Or the restaurant. Or her. His partner.

She took the worst of it, and Carmen will never forgive himself for that. She did everything, kept his dream alive, while he fucked off and pretended to be something he wasn’t.

Somehow, gratefully and graciously, he’d earned his way back into Syndey’s trust over these last few months. Carmy put his full focus into The Bear, as it should’ve been from the beginning. And he never let her forget that he was there for her, that they were partners. Even when shit got too overwhelming, too much, they would always be there.

They stood by that.

Things were…better than they’d ever been.

The kitchen worked seamlessly, every once in a while there was a small mishap. But that’s what a good kitchen is; one that can run even when the unpredictable happens.

And for The Bear, regular unpredictable is a cake walk compared to their original amount of unpredictable.

He and Sydney moved through the kitchen like two halves of one mind. Wordlessly knowing what the other will need before they have the chance to ask, small gestures of reassurance when they need it. His hand on the small of her back in passing, I’m here, it says.

Her soft smile directed his way when he quietly corrected a new hire on their technique, instead of flying off the handle.

Carmen hadn’t raised his voice that way in a while. While he went to Al-Non and saw Dick (his therapist [that’s his actual name, don’t blame Carmen]), he could credit his better sleep schedule and improved outlook on life to one individual particularly.

The more he saw Sydney, the more she came into his space, the longer she stayed, the more Carmen calmed. For the first time in his life, he was still, tranquil, happy.

It, whatever it was, that special drug, that magic, seemed to just radiate off her skin in waves of pure ethereal light.

She stood in his modest kitchen, throwing her head back laughing at something stupid he said. And Carmen knew peace.

Maybe that’s why the shading pencils that had been shoved into a carboard box in the back of his closet finally made a reappearance.

He was at the market on a random Monday, their one and only day off, when he saw a display of sketchbooks, at the end of an aisle.

Instinct made him throw one in his basket. Black with a singular word embossed on the front in gold.

Create.

Carmen’s immediate thought was: that’s cheesy.

At home, sitting on the couch tapping his leg in impatience , he narrowed his eyes at the sketchbook in the center of his kitchen table. He thought maybe it wasn’t such a bad cover.

The word was like an alarm, a reminder that he could always be doing something, creating something new.

As afternoon turned to evening, Carm didn’t notice. He hadn’t looked up.

For the last four hours, he had been practically dead to the world.

All that existed was the image in his mind and the empty pages sitting before him.

The sound of his phone ringing startled him out of his daze. Realizing all of once that he was starving, and he had to pee, and his phone was still ringing.

Fuck, the phone!

He caught it before it went to voicemail.

“Yo!” He was out of breath, for no reason.

“Yo, you good?” Sydney chuckled, poking at him. “Am I still coming over to cook or are you like…training for the marathon?”

“I could run.” He huffed. “You don’t know.”

The smile that he refused to acknowledge was difficult to keep out of his voice, but he managed.

“Ha! I don’t think any Berzatto even knows the definition of the word ‘run’. Except maybe Pete, but he doesn’t count.”

That made a laugh bubble up out of him.

“He does run. Nat complains about his early morning jogs sometimes.”

“Of course he jogs!” She bellowed, cackling on the other end. “Nothing worse than a jogger.” Followed quickly by. “Don’t tell Nat or Pete I said that.”

Carmen sucked his teeth and tilted his head as if weighing his options, though she couldn’t see him.

“I don’t know…”

“Carmen!” He loved this. He loved her.

“I’m fucking with you, Syd. I won’t tell Nat you think her husband is awful because he jogs.”

“Good. Thank you.” She sighed. “Nat loves me more, anyway. She would take my side.”

“Over her husband?” He asked incredulously.

“No, jackass, over you.” She laughed.

“Ouch. A jackass that got his sister stolen by his CDC. Might as well just end it then. Here I was, taking the jeans out of the oven, just for you.”

“Well, now I’ve caught you in a lie. You forget, I see your oven as often as you do, and I haven’t seen a single sighting of denim.”

“I wait til you leave, obviously.”

“Just shut up and buzz me in, weirdo.” He can hear her smile through the phone knowing that he was the one to put it there warmed his blood.

He was floating on a cloud as he made his way to the front door. Leaving it ajar after buzzing her into the building.

[bradshawsbitch]

white christmas | bradley bradshaw x f!reader

this is my contribution to @notroosterbradshaw 's #hello december playlist challenge! my song was 'white christmas' by bing crosby - so feel free to listen to that to get in the mood!

what to expect in this fic: Bradley couldn't remember the last time he hadn't spent Christmas on some type of naval base. After all, he figured it would be better to work through the holiday than sit all on his lonesome. Lucky for him, his girlfriend of two years has other plans this Christmas. You can expect northern lights, snow lanterns, a little good ol' whimsical fun in the Swedish wilderness!

warnings: afab!reader, she/her pronouns, christmas content, santa clause, reindeers, foreign countries (if you're not swedish), mentions of ditching a plane, mentions of security measures on planes (listen, I couldn't help myself. I used to be a flight attendant), mentions of alcohol, l-bombs, random information about swedish christmas tradition, fluff, whimsical stuff.

disclaimer: this was such a fun challenge! and I went a little self indulgent and figured I'd teach y'all some swedish christmas fun! I added some links along the way to help visualize some Swedish stuff that people perhaps have not encountered before. enjoy!

Bradley was sat by the window seat of the Airbus A330 from Chicago. Glancing over to his side, your head had already settled on his soft, hoodie-clad shoulder. During your previous flight from LAX (in a smaller Boeing 737-900), you’d been granted the window seat. On this longer flight though, Bradley had offered to sit by the emergency exit over the wing.

The flight attendant had looked so relieved it was almost comical. They were always surveying their passengers, and he was grateful that they took the extra step to make sure able bodied and stronger looking people were sat at the emergency exits should they need to evacuate. 

His girlfriend had given him a small smirk as he’d sat down at the emergency exit seat, and he could tell she was about to tease him light-heartedly. “Oh, I’m a pilot,” you’d giggled, soothing your words with a soft kiss to his shoulder. Bradley had only offered you a smile back, and as he felt the aircraft vibrate for takeoff, he’d smirked and decided to annoy you further, leaning over, letting his lips ghost by your ear as he murmured:

“V1,” as the aircraft hurtled by the last safe speed for which the runway would allow it to stop in case of engine failure or error

“Rotate,” he continued, right as the nose rotated and started it’s ascent, mimicking the words currently spoken in the cockpit by the first and second pilot. He’d snickered as you rolled your eyes, muttering “Show-off,” before turning to read your book. That had been at the beginning of your twelve hour flight, which was now soon coming to its’ close - with you snoozing softly on his shoulder.

He glanced over to the other emergency exit across from him, where a woman in her late 40’s sat with a crossword. Bradley had heard her tell the attendants that she too worked as a crew member, and was very familiar with the procedure should they need to make an emergency landing, or ditch.

Just the thought of ditching this enormous plane made him shudder. He was quite glad that he’d never attempt it in his jets. More often than not, even with a bigger, slower flying aircraft, landing on water was tricky. If the water was rough, a bigger aircraft like this sometimes broke off in the middle. It wasn’t impossible though, and he spent a good 5 minutes thinking of successful ditchings before kissing the top of your head, inhaling the sweet scent - one that instantly brought him peace and comfort. The rest of your flight to Stockholm Arlanda airport was uneventful, some turbulence here and there but it was to be expected.

As Bradley took in the sight of you snoozing on his shoulder, he couldn’t help but smile. Bradley hadn’t asked for leave from work over the holidays since he’d joined the Navy. There was never a reason for him to be home over Christmas, and most years he’d actually ask if there was any available work for him, just so that he’d have something to do on what most would consider one of the more cheerful days of the year. The exception had been last holiday, when you’d asked him if he wanted to come around for dinner with your parents to celebrate Christmas; the year before that your relationship had been relatively new, and you’d exchanged gifts on the 26th instead. 

So, last New Years, after a few too many drinks - Bradley had confided in you his secret of having worked during the holidays since his early twenties - and that he’d often been stationed somewhere there really wasn’t any snow, and how he really wished for one of those White Christmases that you saw on TV. Bradley would be the first to admit he got sappy when drunk, but your response had been so sweet - promising him a white Christmas next year, and he was almost sure he heard you swear that he’d never have to spend Christmas alone again.

And so, a few days into the new year, the two of you had begun to plan the journey you were currently on. A journey that would take you deep into the Swedish snow, up in the north where a small village called Jukkasjärvi lay. You’d decided upon it together, both agreeing that staying a night in the iconic ice hotel was a sure thing for the Christmas bucket list.

Bradley knew his girlfriend had spent the entire year researching everything Christmas-related in Sweden, and he also knew she was dying to tell him every single thing she’d found. The two of them had scoured the internet for fun things to try whilst in Sweden, and they’d narrowed it down to a list they figured they would manage during their two week stay. 

The first week was for exploring, experiencing their bucket list, and lastly, Christmas. The second week would be for lounging, relaxing and just generally enjoying each other’s company in the wooden cabin they had booked for themselves for the second week. Bradley had insisted on one of the cabins that had a sauna, because he desperately felt he’d need one in the cold climate.

You had teased him, asking him if he knew that it was tradition in the northern countries to sauna in the nude, and then roll in the snow in between sessions. He told you promptly that he did not know that. It sounded almost like a torture tactic. After he’d told you so, you’d forgone telling him about the use of smaller tree branches as whisks to whip against your back. He wasn’t ready for that information yet, you’d decided.

As you successfully landed at Arlanda airport, the two of you sleepily made your way underground for the next part of your travel itinerary. You’d decided that you might as well take the night train to Jukkasjärvi as soon as you’d landed, and you’d only have to switch to a bus when you made it to Kiruna, a town that lay only 30 minutes away from your final destination.

Getting comfortable in the bunk bed you’d booked, Bradley smiled as you snuggled up against his chest and fell fast asleep. Bradley, however, found himself too excited to let sleep grasp at his consciousness just now. He was spellbound as his eyes gazed out at the gray night sky, already seeing thick snowflakes falling around the moving train. But soon, the warmth of your body, the gentle rocking of the train, and the flurry of snow outside the window of the compartment had him lulled to sleep. 

Bradley was fucking freezing. Of course, he had anticipated that the Northernmost cities or villages of Sweden would be cold, but this was beyond anything he’d ever experienced. He was surprised to find he liked it. It kept his head surprisingly clear as he inhaled the icy air.

He was suddenly glad the two of you had researched extensively what type of gear you’d need to sleep in a hotel made of snow and ice, because his wool thermal underwear, his fleece midlayer, his balaclava, warm hat and mittens kept his body sufficiently warm in the coveralls the ice hotel had provided you. 

He snuck a peek at you, where you stood, enraptured by the guide that had welcomed you. The guide had first informed you that the temperature was about -15 degrees celsius, which meant that it was roughly 5 degrees fahrenheit. The guide then started telling you about the Polar nights, or as they called it, mid winter nights “Oh my god, Bradley that sounds magical” you whispered to him, your voice laced with an endearing amount of excitement.

He smiled down at you and squeezed you close to his side to show he was excited too. The polar nights were a period of time in Lapland where the sun never dared to show itself, the guide expressed, and the only light they got were two hours near noon that they called “blue hours”, when the night sky turned a little lighter blue, and the white snow reflected that soft light to make it illuminate the nature just a little bit. Your eyes were twinkling excitedly, and Bradley thought he might not have seen anything more beautiful in his life. 

You were looking up at him, giggling softly as the hot breath made wisps of smoke appear in the cold air. “You have ice in your mustache, Roos,” you murmured, in awe of the fact that almost every single individual hair of his mustache had ice crystals on them, on the bottom from the moisture of his lips, and the top from where he exhaled warm air onto it.

Rooster was pretty sure he could feel the hairs in his nostrils freezing as he inhaled - it was a weird sensation, but something he got used to surprisingly quickly. “Yeah, well your eyelashes are icy too,” he mumbled with a quick smile before nudging your side, to make you turn your attention back to the guide. 

The guide was smiling at the two of you, explaining how the inside of the ice suites were actually about -5 to -7 celsius due to the insulation that the snow and ice provided (Bradley thought that sounded like a contradiction if he ever heard one), which was about 19 degrees fahrenheit.

As the tour ended, the two of you made your way into the hotel. Bradley was blown away at the detail with which the artists had sculpted ice to look like art. He could hardly voice how in awe he was, which caused him to just gape and stare at the interior. You, on the other hand, were ohh-ing and ahh-ing and pulling on his hand to drag him further in to explore the ice bar, and the ice church. The two of you shared a very cold drink in one of the bars icen glasses, giggling and sharing an excited kiss over the first drink of the night. 

“Happy holidays, Bradley” you sighed happily, leaning your body into him. Bradley was used to having you close, so the distance your thick clothing provided had him whining softly at not being able to have you closer to him.

“Happy holidays, my love. This is already above and beyond any of my wildest dreams right now,” Bradley confessed into your beanie clad head, pressing a soft kiss to the fabric, hoping you felt the sentiment of it. It seemed you did, since you offered him a breathtaking smile that had his heart doing double time somewhere under all his layers of clothing. 

“We can’t forget to watch for the northern lights tonight!” you reminded him softly, sipping on your drink. He shook his head, smiling at your eager tone. “I wouldn’t miss it for the world, sweetheart,” he had listened to your calculations, and the general knowledge you’d picked up about the aurora borealis, and he hoped you’d get to experience one tonight. 

After a chilly night in the ice suite, you spent the rest of the week in your booked warm hotel room, enjoying fancy dinners during the evenings (which, admittedly, didn't always feel like evenings due to the almost constant darkness), treating yourselves to glasses of prosecco and wine. Giggling with each other in the room beforehand as you dressed up fancy. Bradley alternated between slacks and a button-up, and full blown suits. A favorite of yours was his navy blue one, that he wore tonight, on the 22nd of December. 

“Have I told you that you look gorgeous in this?” you said, voice a low murmur as you slung your arm around his neck in the elevator on the way to the dining hall.

“Nope,” Rooster smirked, dropping down to give you a breathtaking kiss “But thank you, sweets. You look real handsome,” he teased, noticing that you referred to him as the endearment he most used for you - ‘gorgeous’, switching up the endearment to the one you most used for him - ‘handsome’. But he’d have likened your look to ‘beautiful’ in all reality, because that’s what he could best describe your deep green attire, hair and makeup all done up and pretty. 

As you sat down to eat, you figured you’d go over the plans you had for the morning. Bradley had been looking forward to this one all year. You’d booked to go sledding, to see the reindeer farm located on the native Swedish land.

Bradley and you had spent countless hours searching for the perfect place to be able to interact with the reindeer, and the perfect opportunity seemed to be close enough, with a museum of the Sàmi customs and cuisine, which gave you a two for one experience - culture and some good old fashioned Christmas experiences. 

“What if we see Santa?” you exclaimed excitedly as you raised your glass to your lips. “Why would you say that?” Rooster furrowed his brows, feeling like he might’ve missed something important here

“Roos, he lives here!” his girlfriend exclaimed, as if mortally wounded that he did not know that Santa Clause resided in Jukkasjärvi. “I thought he lived on the North Pole?” Bradley laughed, and you shook your head vehemently “No, babe. The Swedes insist he lives here, in Lapland. Of course, I saw some forums argue he lives in Finland - but I choose to believe he lives here. Wouldn’t it be great if we saw actual Santa?” 

Bradley could only smile at your satisfied smile over the rim of your champagne glass, a determined twinkle in your eyes. He loved the fact that you were kind of whimsical, trying to make this a real White Christmas for him to remember - and he couldn’t exactly help that it made his heart grow three sizes. 

“And how is it that you know this then?” Rooster inquired, smiling softly as you took a bite of your meal. He had an inkling that you’d gone all in for the research, to surprise him with fun facts during your trip. Your bashful smile confirmed his suspicions. 

“Well, I might have read up on Swedish Christmas traditions - wouldn’t it be fun to follow them? I’ve even booked their Christmas smörgåsbord!” Bradley couldn’t help but throw his head back and laugh at the excited sparkle that hid beneath your lashes, his chest filling with warmth for his girlfriend again. “There’s a Christmas smörgåsbord? Is that tradition?” he inquired curiously.

“Yup! There sure is. They have small sausages, meatballs, of course, and a ham that they eat with sweet mustard - and some weird pickled herring. I’m a bit wary of those, but we have to be brave, Bradley. We have to show the vikings we’re one of them,” your soft giggle mingled with his laughter, as the soft voice of Bing Crosby meandered through the dining hall, singing about White Christmas as the snow fell peacefully outside of the window. 

“Is that on the 25th, then?” you shook your head no, “Swedish folk celebrate Christmas on the 24th. Which makes sense if Santa lives here! He’ll do these countries first, and then come to us. I knew that man couldn’t possibly do the whole world in one day!”

As dessert was served, and your glasses began to empty, the two of you were feeling giggly, sleepy and all around filled with warmth and Christmas cheer. As you stood up after having paid, Rooster wrapped a large arm around your frame, pulling you into his chest to place a lingering kiss on the top of your head. “This was one of the best ideas we’ve ever had, darling,” he murmured, placing a couple of more kisses against your temple as you slowly made your way up to your room.

Cold, biting air nipped at Roosters cheeks as the sleigh moved forwards in the snow. It was a clear sky today, which heightened the chance to see the auroras considerably, you’d told him happily after the two of you enjoyed a lengthy breakfast together. You’d made Bradley try some Swedish spread called ‘kaviar’ to which he retched for a good three minutes, before he swore revenge upon you, making you giggle as he pretended to glare at you. 

Bells were softly jingling as the large horses trotted along the small streets through the tiny village, headed towards the snow clad boreal forest. Bradley was squinting to see the houses that lined the streets. Some of them had snowmen and women in their front yards, but many of them had weird, cone shaped little snow buildings by the entrance to their homes.

He furrowed his brows, pointing with a mittened hand in the direction of one before he asked out loud “What are those little lit up things? Are those made of snow?” he watched as you turned your head to inspect them too, before the driver of the carriage half turned and smiled. 

“Those are snow lanterns,” he spoke, before gently saying something in Swedish to one of the horses to calm it before continuing “they’re made out of snow. Mostly children will make them by making snowballs, and arranging them in a cone shape. Their parents will then put a candle in the cone as the dark falls, and it works as a pretty lantern the children can watch from their windows before they go to sleep. Some parents tell their children that’s how Santa will find their houses.”

Bradley thought to himself that if he ever had any children, he’d make snow lanterns with them to make sure Santa and his reindeers found his house. The smallest stitch of sorrow settled deep within his chest, before he caught sight of your face - looking as enamored as he was by the idea of snow lanterns. 

“Maybe we could make one later?” Bradley told you softly, smiling down at your bundled up form. “Sadly, the snow is too dry to form anything. They must’ve made these earlier in the year, when the snow was still wet.” the driver said before turning around completely to steer the horses into a narrow path in the woods. At this, your face lit up, and Rooster could tell that that was something you had read up on.

“Roos, did you know that the native people of Sweden are said to have about one hundred different lexical words for snow? Like the quality of snow matters!” you looked so beautiful like this. The soft light of the day, the crystal white and sparkling snow whirling all around your face, cheeks cold and eyelashes frosted. He had to take a deep breath to settle himself, a lopsided, goofy smile on his face. “Is that so? What type of snow is this then?” 

“Well, seeing as it’s so cold, I’d say this is probably the powdery sort. The kind that when you throw it at someone, it just dusts away in the wind. I would guess that to make snowmen and snow lanterns, you’d need the heavier, wetter kind that falls in the beginning of the season, when it’s not below freezing,” you surmised, and Bradley just chuckled, ruffling your hat on your head “That’s my smart girl!”

As you approached the reindeer farm, Bradley could practically feel you vibrating with excitement beside him, and as the sled came to a stop, Bradley jumped down, offering his mitten clad hands out to you to help you down.

His heart stuttered a bit at the breathtaking smile that had formed on your lips, and he opted to seize you by the waist, lifting you down instead. Your happy peal of laughter as he spun you once, made a large grin appear on his lips as well. “Hi, baby,” he murmured, as your arms snaked around his neck, leaning down to peck his lips lovingly before he let you down. 

The afternoon on the 23rd was spent petting and feeding the reindeer, cooing over how absolutely sweet and adorable they were, eating candied almonds you bought (and learning they were popular here during Christmas), had a glass of mulled wine each with almonds and raisins in it, and learning about native Swedish customs and culture. As the two of you meandered towards the end of the little market they had put up, suddenly Bradley heard his girlfriend suck in a heavy gasp.

“Bradley!” you whisper-screamed, jumping up and down whilst pointing towards the thicker forest a bit away.

There, between the thick cover of pine trees, a soft gold light was moving slowly in the thick snow. Bradley furrowed his brows, staring more intently as he caught a glimmer of red flashing in the soft light.

“Oh my God, Roos!” your voice was borderline hysteric with unbridled, childish excitement, and Bradley himself couldn’t help but feel somewhat the same way as you. There, in the woods, was undoubtedly a man, who was quite large - his thick white beard decidedly not a fake one.

One of the reindeer close to you, heard the ruffle of movement and it snapped its head around to look at the man. It slowly turned and started walking towards the man, and both yours and Bradleys’ jaw dropped as you faintly saw the man chuckling, a small piece of parchment sticking out of one of his deep, worn pockets. 

Bradley hardly wanted to blink, but he had to gauge your reaction - were you seeing this!? Were his eyes deceiving him? But no, as he looked at you, the same stunned, wondrous facial expression was on your face as well. “Baby…” Bradley said incredulously, and when his gaze returned to the spot where he’d seen the man and the reindeer - they were gone.

“Was that…?” Bradley started, and you only nodded mutely, completely flabbergasted at what you’d just witnessed. “I need a moment,” you told your boyfriend and he nodded, only letting one small laugh escape his lips as he shook his head - a new found twinkle shining in his amber eyes as the two of you ordered a cup of hot chocolate, Bradley opting to have the smiling girl clad in a Gákti (a traditional dress for the Sàmi) fill his cup with a minty liquor as well. 

As the two of you sat in the carriage on the way home, silence stretching through the darkness of the night, the moon illuminating the snow enough so that every single detail of the landscape was still dimly visible, you finally spoke.

“That was the real Santa Clause, wasn’t it?” your voice sounded revered, and serious. “I am so fucking sure that that was the real Santa, didn’t you see the reindeer approach him!?” Bradley could barely contain his mirth “Shh, Bradley! No swearing!! He’ll know!” you hissed before triumphantly saying “I told you he lived here!”

“Oh, fuck! Shit, I mean–” he laughed at himself “I won’t swear anymore,” before silence fell between the two of you. However, the night wasn’t completely silent anymore. Aside from the soft noises from the horses, and the bells jingling softly, a peculiar sound met their ears.

The driver smiled softly “I believe we’ll see some northern lights soon,” you gasped softly at the drivers words “Oh my god, I read that some people can hear the auroras,” and as soon as the words were out of your mouth, the sky exploded in shades of green, blue and at some spots violet as well.

The sharp intake of air from you was the only thing filling the night, except for a peculiar crackling sound. It was so overwhelming, seeing the lights dance slowly across the expanse of the night sky. Bradley had never seen anything more beautiful in his entire life, and as the sled slowly came to a stop, he noticed that his tears had already frozen on his cheeks. 

When you’d admired the aurora in awed silence for a few minutes, the driver softly had the horses come to a walk again, sensing that staying still for any longer would have them freeze. However, the lights were still slowly dancing back and forth over the skies, and Bradley was sure he’d have a kink in his neck from the way he couldn’t bear to rip his gaze away from this phenomena.

All at once, Bradley could understand why the Sàmi, and natives in his own home country might believe that a higher being was sending them omens through the lights. They were breathtaking, and if he hadn’t known the science behind the lights - he was pretty sure he too would believe that they were otherworldly. Perhaps he’d choose to believe they were either way. 

The two of you reached your room, drawing a hot bath before peeling your clothes off. When you’d warmed up a little, the two of you chattered excitedly about what you’d experienced that day - arguing over who had been the nicest this year.

“Listen, I am one hundred percent sure Santa saw me give Hangman the last piece of the birthday cake earlier this year!”

“Bradley, that was his birthday cake!” 

“So then it was pretty nice of me to let him have it, right?”

Waking up on the 24th, Rooster nuzzled his face into the crook of your neck, inhaling your sweet scent as you slowly came to consciousness. “Merry Christmas, Roos,” your soft voice had a sleepy hint to it as your fingers carded through his slightly longer locks.

“Merry Christmas, love of my life,” Bradley sighed happily, placing soft kisses to your exposed neck as his arms wound tight around your midsection. The two of you lay wrapped in each others embrace for a big part of the morning, before exchanging a single gift with each other. 

Later that day, you joined the other residents in eating a Christmas smörgåsbord, listening to Christmas songs, and lastly, dancing around the large tree that sat in the lobby. Drinking Christmas ale, mulled wine and sparkling cider. It was the best Christmas Bradley had had for years, and as the jolly type of music wound down to a beautiful Swedish rendition of ‘O Holy Night’ transitioned into ‘White Christmas’, Bradley once again embraced you, swirling you around in a slow dance.

His lips found yours in a kiss that felt as if the northern lights had exploded within the two of you, and were dancing merrily between you.

“Thank you,” Bradley murmured against your lips “for giving me the best Christmas of my life,” he continued, pulling back to admire your beautiful, twinkling eyes.

“Thank you, Bradley,” you replied softly, squeezing his hand before resting your cheek on his sweater clad chest, swaying softly to the tune of the beautiful song that rang out in the winter night.

a/n: ahhh!!! I hope you guys liked this one! I added links to give a visual to things that not everyone knows of or has seen before. I hope it wasn't distracting! Please let me know what you thought of this whimsical little fun fic! <3 lots of love to those who don't celebrate christmas, or have a hard time with christmas as well - I love you so much<3

[mellifiedman]

Man I just got to O'Hare after a long flight of turbulence capped by a fucking bone-chillingly terrifying aborted landing (the second time Chicago has done this to me!), and I swear to God this leathery middle-aged lady with a fake "service" Pomeranian next to me spent the whole time sexting. I was clutching my armrests and feeling my heart pounding in my throat while people screamed around me, and I look over and she's still just drafting a reply to an "I'm so hard right now" message. Legendary tbh

[daphnefisherofficial]

bugna: TAKIPSILIM | destiny's twilight

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

Pairing: MCU Moon Knight System (Marc/Steven/Jake) x Avatar Fem!Reader

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CHAPTER FOURTEEN - THE HIDDEN PROTECTOR.

Marc Spector watched with a mixture of amusement and concern, his bemused grin in place as the two of you stumbled out of the cozy pub, the warm embrace of alcohol having worked its magic on you both. You swayed slightly, your gait unsteady, but your spirits were high. The hour had crept past midnight, and the streets of London were bathed in the soft glow of streetlamps and the distant hum of city life. He, along with Steven Grant inside their shared consciousness, walked a few steps behind you, ensuring you didn't take a spill or tumble headfirst on the cobblestone streets.

You decided to walk backwards, your gaze locked on Marc, who followed your every movement with an indulgent smile. The alcohol had loosened your tongue, and with a lopsided grin painting your lips, you rambled on about anything and everything, your words a merry jumble of observations about the city and its people.

"Marc," you slurred, pointing at a passing black cab, "did you know these taxis look like big, shiny beetles? I swear, it's like we're in a giant insect parade!"

“Yeah, baby”, Marc chuckled softly, his Chicago accent tinged with affection as the inhibitions of calling you by his preferred term of endearment finally passed his lips with ease. "They do look a bit like that, don't they?"

“They do”, you continued your tipsy commentary as you continued strolling backwards, your laughter ringing out in the night air. “And you, my beautiful Marc, are like a shadowy guardian angel. Always a step behind, making sure I don't fall into the abyss of drunkenness."

“How poetic of you, sweet Mira”, Marc chuckled softly, the corners of his eyes crinkling in mirth as he mirrored your steps with ease. He grinned at your compliment, though it was clear you were beyond rational thought at this point. He'd learned a lot about you during your late-night conversations, but this was the first time he'd seen you in such a state.

As you approached a slightly secluded alleyway on your way to the bus station, you noticed a solitary lamp post still lit and a few meters away. A mischievous thought crossed your mind, memories of a pole dancing lesson you were forcibly enrolled in by your good friend Aleah, flashing before you. With a playful grin, you decided to give Marc a show.

"Watch this, Marc!" you exclaimed, twirling around the lamppost and gripping it with surprising grace. You swayed and spun, mimicking the simple moves you'd learned, your laughter mixing with the night breeze.

“Looking good, Mira!” Marc watched in utter amusement, his hazel brown eyes fixed on you as he exclaimed tipsily how much he liked your performance. "I’m so proud of you, darling"

You ended your impromptu pole dance with a cute, theatrical pose, earning a hearty round of applause from Marc. He shook his head, utterly entertained by your antics as he burst into a hearty, boisterous laughter for probably the first time ever in his turbulent life. It was a rare, carefree moment that he wished to imprint in his memory forever.

Unbeknownst to both of you, masked assailants had been silently tailing from behind, their intentions far from benign as they were concealed in the shadows of the alley. Armed with malevolent intent and their hands gripping wolfsbane guns, weapons specifically designed to kill those they were aimed at. They had been sent on a mission to eliminate you - a sinister plan that has already been decades in the making.

Two gunshots pierced the quiet London night, shattering the peaceful ambiance. Marc's eyes widened in sheer surprise and horror, time seemingly coming to a stop as he saw your top slowly staining with the gushing flow of your own crimson blood. Panic gripped him as he watched you crumple to the cement floor, a small crescent moon tattoo on his body beginning to glow with an eerie intensity.

The pain in his shoulder and lower back was searing, nearly unbearable, but he couldn't focus on that. He sprinted toward you, his heart pounding in his chest, as his mind raced to comprehend the unfolding nightmare. The world around him blurred, the relentless agony threatening to engulf him as his face contorted with both fear and anger.

Meanwhile, chaos reigned inside their shared headspace. Steven Grant, who was usually calm and composed, was now screaming bloody murder, his voice echoing through the confines of their mind. He was helplessly trapped, unable to do anything but watch in terror as events spiraled out of control before him.

Then, as if the universe itself was conspiring against Marc Spector, a sudden darkness overcame his vision. It was as if an unseen force was forcibly pushing him out of his own consciousness. Before he succumbed to the overwhelming pressure, his blurring vision caught a glimpse of a familiar crescent moon tattoo identical to the one on his own body, glowing brilliantly white on your jugular, the very spot where his most recent, mysterious tattoo had manifested.

...

Jake Lockley was only supposed to merely watch from the shadows of Marc Spector's fractured mind that Friday night. He silently observed you, the object of his secret fascination, from the dimly lit recesses of their shared consciousness. A small, crooked smile played on his lips as he watched you with a mix of amusement and adoration, seeing you twirling near a lamppost in a slightly secluded alleyway. Your laughter rang out, infectious and sweet, as you executed a mini pole dancing routine. Your movements were fluid and mesmerizing, and he couldn't help but be captivated by your beauty and your quirky charm. There was something about the way you carried yourself, especially when you were a little tipsy, that made him smile despite himself.

With a final flourish, you ended your short performance with a cute pose, leaving Jake grinning from the shadows of Marc's mind.

But that fleeting moment of contentment shattered when two gunshots pierced the silence. Panic immediately seized Jake's heart in an invisible tight grip, his world seemed to stop as he watched you slowly succumb to your knees to the cold cement floor of the London streets. The wolfsbane poison carried by the bullets took effect immediately, as the new moon further inhibited your innate avatar ability to heal and be impervious to harm.

Your limp form was a stark contrast to the vibrant, spirited woman he had known just moments ago as Marc instinctively caught you in his arms, his eyes now wide with shock and panic. Steven, trapped in the forefront of Marc's mind, was screaming helplessly to no end as he pleaded Marc to take you to the hospital.

Jake, however, was done lurking in the shadows and playing the silent observer. Fear and fury coursed through him, consumed by the guilt and the urgency of the situation.

And at that moment, he decided that he couldn't stand idly by any longer. With a surge of willpower, Jake forcibly pushed his consciousness to the forefront, relegating Marc to the backseat of their fractured mind. It was time for him to act - consequences be damned.

Jake’s senses sharpened as he finally took the reins. He could feel the cold London air against his skin, taste the metallic tang of fear and danger in the air. The masked assailants who had attacked you were still at large, and they had marked him, your companion, as their next target.

With a guttural growl of anger, Jake summoned his ceremonial armor that was once Marc’s with a swift and deliberate motion. The former white Egyptian old threads were now ebony black as it enveloped his arms and torso, the design intricate and etched with symbols of the moon god Khonshu. His dark cape billowed around him, forming a protective shield around you as the assailants continued their relentless gunfire assault. 

Jake's eyes burned with a dangerous intensity, his look crazed and borderline dangerous as he tried to shake you awake, calling your name in his heavy Spanish accent. 

"¡Despierta, Mira!" he growled, his gloved hand gently tapping your cheek repeatedly. "Wake up, cariño, please!"

The world around him seemed to slow down as Jake quickly assessed the situation. The assailants, their faces concealed by masks, were firing volley after volley of wolfsbane bullets in their direction. But he was not about to be a helpless victim. With a flick of his wrist, he wielded his cape with precision, deflecting the bullets back in the assailants' direction with deadly accuracy. The shock on their faces was palpable as they scrambled for cover. 

"Finish the job, Jake”, Khonshu's voice echoed in his mind, a dark and commanding presence. “I will make sure to protect Mira. Show them our wrath for daring to threaten her life."

Jake felt an unsettling mix of exhilaration and dread as he obeyed Khonshu's command. With swift, brutal efficiency, he closed the distance between himself and the assailants. His gloved fists were like sledgehammers as they started to strike with unrelenting force. The fight was brutal, a chaotic dance of fists, kicks, and the gleaming edges of his crescent darts. He moved like a shadow, striking with precision and power. 

Bones snapped, and bodies crumpled under his onslaught. The moonlight glinted off his ceremonial armor, giving him an otherworldly aura of power as blood stained the cobblestones beneath his boots with the assailants falling one by one.

But he wasn't satisfied with mere vengeance. He wanted answers. And he was about to get them when one of the assailants, bloodied and broken, managed to wheeze out a few vital information as he gasped for breath. 

"Die soon... Set... will be pleased."

"Who sent you?" he growled in his thick Spanish accent, his grip tightening around the assailant’s throat as he pinned him to the ground, a savage glint in his eyes. "Who wants her dead?"

“You’re too late, Moon Knight”, the assailant's lips curled into a wicked smile, blood trickling from the corners of his mouth. "Mayari's avatar will die soon. At his hands, victory will soon be ours.”

His words sent a shiver down Jake's spine, but he refused to let fear take hold. 

"Who is behind this?" he pressed further, his voice laced with menace. “Who is Set’s avatar?!”

The assailant laughed softly, his breaths growing shallower as life seeped away from him. "You'll find out soon enough," he wheezed, his eyes glazing over. With one final shuddering breath, he fell silent, taking his secrets to the grave.

Jake released the lifeless body before him, his mind racing with thoughts and questions. But one thing was clear—your life hangs in the balance, and he would stop at nothing to make sure you will not lose your life on his watch.

Despite his hardened exterior, Jake Lockley was trembling with panic as he immediately went by your side, watching your olive-brown complexion slowly pale due to the toxic effects of wolfsbane now slowly coursing through your veins. Blood continued to flow from your wounds, staining the cold ground beneath you. His fury was barely concealed as hot tears cascaded down Jake's face, his facade of stoicism cracking under the weight of despair.

He couldn't afford to lose you. He simply can’t.

"What can I do to save her?” Jake shouted at Khonshu, his voice filled with desperation. “Tell me what I should do!"

“Take her to Marc Spector’s flat”, Khonshu's voice was calm and composed, offering a lifeline amidst the chaos. "There's a way to counter the poison. But you must hurry."

Jake nodded resolutely, his alters still simmering beneath the surface of his mind as he cradled your limp form protectively into his arms. With a surge of power, he prepared to take flight and carry you to safety back to their London flat.

But before he could ascend, a powerful spell stopped him in his tracks. He turned to see a shimmering, ethereal presence materialize before him, divine and radiant. It was your patron moon goddess, Mayari, the fury unmistakable in both her luminous and blind eyes.

"You will go no further," she declared, her voice echoing with the authority of a divine being. “Let go of my fallen avatar, Jake Lockley”

“Goddess Mayari, please”, Jake’s voice trembled despite his rage and fear, unable to directly defy your patron goddess’s command. “We need your help, she’s dying”

“This is all your fault, Khonshu!” Mayari’s voice shook with fury as she faced Khonshu directly, who merely watched the ongoing exchange with barely concealed guilt in his facade. 

“We do not have time for this, Mayari”, Khonshu retorted as his own frustration grew. Despite your displeasure at him, the Egyptian moon god has treated you all your long life as if you were his own offspring. “Mira and my avatars share life forces, if you remember. He can save her, goddess”

“Yes, please”, Jake agrees, willing to try just about anything at this point. “I’ll do anything to keep her alive. Anything”

“Very well”, Mayari’s eyes bore into Jake's, her anger momentarily subsiding as she considered his plea. "I will come with you both, so do what you must. But you will answer to me for what has transpired tonight, Jake Lockley"

Relief washed over Jake as Mayari's acceptance of their plea offered a glimmer of hope. "Thank you, Mayari," he said sincerely.

As the London night continued to bear witness to Jake Lockley’s chaotic, stormy thoughts, he readjusted his hold on you as he pulled you even close and protectively in his arms. Mayari’s spell finally lifted, allowing him to finally take flight and bring you back to their London flat. In that moment, Jake's world shifted once more as your fate hung in the balance once again - the woman he had secretly admired and sworn to protect. 

And with the moon goddess watching closely as your intertwined bugna (true destinies) were being woven right before her ever-watchful eyes, Mayari realized then that she could no longer keep your looming tagna (prophecy) at bay.

END OF CHAPTER FOURTEEN.

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[megalony]

Get Your Sea Legs

This is an Eddie x reader x Evan imagine, this is a little fluffy holiday imagine. I am currently taking requests for the holiday ideas/ imagines. I hope you will all like it, let me know what you think.

Taglist: @justagirlthatlovedtoread @musicistheway @avada-kedavra-bitch-187 @luula @missdreamofendless @bradleybeachbabe @woderfulkawaii @amberpanda99 @daggersquadphantom @marvel-and-chicago-fan @angryknightstatesmantrash @minjix @lyjen @kmc1989 @itsmytimetoodream @noonenuts @hiireadstuff @ashie-babie @classyunknownlover @jayyeahthatsme @sp1ritssz @dumb-fawkin-bitch @oliverstarksbae @gimatida @heart-35 @supernaturalstilinski @stefansalvatoresgf @kyky9103 @wutheringhearts2275 @gay4hotmilfs @itshamleth @chaoticnosleepinfluencer @gs29 @wh0reforsmutstuff @mel-vaz @natashamea18 @chrisevansdaughter @alexandra8484 @deena-beena-weena @targaryenluvs @shelbygeek @kpoplover-19 @marvelmenarebeautiful @gillybear17 @zoeybennett

Eddie Diaz Masterlist

Evan Buckley Masterlist

Part 2

Summary: (Y/n), Evan and Eddie take their kids on a cruise on holiday, and they have a lot of family fun and antics along the way.

(Not related to S7, no spoilers)

Enjoy.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

A cheesy, lopsided grin flooded Evan's face when he opened his eyes and took a look around.

God, he felt like a child.

He felt like the biggest kid in the room, flooded with adrenaline and wide awake despite only just waking up. He was always the same whenever he went on holiday and it didn't matter where he was or who he had gone away with. Despite his turbulent relationship with his parents, Evan had been flying high whenever they used to go on little family holidays.

He had been over the moon when he and Maddie used to go on little weekend trips together when he was a teen and she was in nursing school. He lived for the weekends where she would come down and take him to the beach. Or when he was in college and the pair of them saved up and took a trip abroad, without Doug.

Evan had never been in a steady relationship long enough to go away with a partner; not until he got together with Eddie and (Y/n).

The three of them had taken a short trip away not long after they all got together, just the three of them. It had been the only holiday they went on without any kids because not long after that, they had Lois. Since then, all their holidays had been family vacations and it was something Evan loved. He loved taking the kids away and spending time going on hikes or in the pool or sitting on the beach with them.

Evan loved his family more than anything and he loved being on holiday with them. And this was their first holiday with Tilly.

"Morning," He couldn't hide the giddiness from his voice and he tilted his head down to look at one of his partners.

Eddie was curled up into Evan's side, an arm draped over his waist and his head laid out in the middle of Evan's chest. Evan could feel his boyfriend's curls tickling his neck and chin and he felt Eddie grumble something incoherent into his chest.

He pressed a sloppy kiss to the top of Eddie's head and began smoothing his hand up and down Eddie's bare back. Both of them had gone to sleep in their boxers. The heat outside was stiffling and they had to turn the A/C right up so cold air was blasting through the room all night so none of them melted.

"Are we gonna get up?"

"Nope." Eddie grumbled back into Evan's chest, pressing a soft kiss there before he nuzzled back down. He didn't bother opening his eyes. He didn't want to get up yet.

"Papa, are we going up for breakfast now?"

A grin spread across Evan's lips again and he stretched his arm out to grab his phone from the side table. It was past nine. They didn't usually sleep in this late when they were on holiday. Especially not Eddie, even on his days off Eddie's body clock usually got him up around seven or earlier.

Evan looked around the room that was cast in a dim glow from the closed curtains. He looked across to the right side of the room where the bunk beds were.

The kids were starting to wake up. Lois was on the top bunk and she was laid with her head and arms on the railing and a wide grin on her features which crinkled her eyes. And when Evan looked down, he could see Chris starting to stir on the bottom bunk.

"Yep, we're getting breakfast, girlie. Babe, come on." Evan pressed another kiss to the top of Eddie's head and held onto him while he started to sit up, forcing Eddie to sit up too.

A groan burned at the back of Eddie's throat and he could feel his head spinning the moment he sat up. He flopped his head back on Evan's shoulder and tried to open his eyes, but he felt like going straight back to sleep for another day. Or two. Or three.

Eddie quietly whined when Evan kissed him and proceeded to get out of bed. He didn't want to get up yet.

Who's bright idea was it to go on a cruise?

Eddie never realised he had a problem with being on the sea until the boat started moving. They all boarded the boat just fine late on Monday afternoon, but when it began to move in the evening, Eddie didn't feel so great. Neither did (Y/n) when she laid in bed and could feel the room dipping from left to right.

Then in the morning, they had been on rough tides and things didn't go so well. Eddie got halfway down the hall and had to turn around, crawl back to the room and throw up. (Y/n) tried taking the kids for lunch on deck with Evan but halfway up the stairs, a mixture of vertigo and sickness washed over her and Evan had to catch her before she fell. He ended up carrying her the rest of the way up the stairs and carrying her back to the room like she was drunk.

Chris and Lois had been fine, they seemed to take after Evan and were happy running about as if the swaying boat was normal and it didn't affect them at all.

Ava started to feel queasy into the evening and Tilly, their youngest, was unsettled last night.

Evan took all four kids to dinner last night and when they came back into the cabin at seven o'clock, both Eddie and (Y/n) were fast asleep. So Evan took the kids out for a walk in the night sea air.

"Come on, get your sea legs. We're supposed to be going in the pool today." Evan stood up and stretched his arms above his head.

He laughed and glanced across his shoulder when he began to walk away from the bed and Eddie reached out to slap his behind. He advanced over to the bunk beds and waited patiently for Lois and Chris to climb out of bed before he helped them pick out some clothes.

Eddie rubbed his eyes with the base of his hand and stood up, but he only walked three paces over to the other double bed in the room. With a hefty sigh, he flopped down on his stomach on the other bed where (Y/n) and Ava were just beginning to stir.

They had Lois and Chris in the bunk beds, Tilly was in the cot beneath the window. And since there were two double beds, they all decided to switch between the beds each night, depending on how tired they were and where they flopped down at the end of the night. Last night Eddie distinctly remembered falling asleep in bed with (Y/n), but he'd passed out for the full twelve hours.

And he woke up with Evan instead, meaning (Y/n) got up at some point to tend to the kids and ended up in the other bed with Ava.

"How are you girls doing?" He gruffed quietly while he flopped his right arm out and draped it across (Y/n)'s waist.

He reeled her close and shimmied from his stomach to lay on his left side, with (Y/n)'s back pressed up against his chest. His hand slipped beneath her pyjama top and he started to dance his fingers across her bump while he tilted his head down to kiss the back of her head.

"Bit better… still feel queasy though." (Y/n) couldn't be sure whether she was really feeling sea sick or if she was experiencing prolonged morning sickness which the boat was making worse.

They hadn't exactly planned for (Y/n) to be twenty weeks pregnant when they booked this holiday. But (Y/n) was thrilled she wasn't any further along. She didn't have a massive bump yet and other than morning sickness, she was doing okay. She could still get in the pool with the kids and walk round and they could leave the boat and go on excursions. The timing had worked out rather well.

(Y/n) groggily opened her eyes and leaned back into Eddie when Evan leaned on the other side of the bed and hovered over them. She smiled as Evan planted his hands down on the bed, kissed the top of Ava's head and leaned over to kiss (Y/n)'s lips.

"Are you lot getting up, we're all hungry?"

"Bring us back something to eat… please?" Eddie added a quick please on the end when he watched Evan smirk.

"What can you actually stomach?"

"Fruit."

Evan pressed another kiss to (Y/n)'s lips and a quick kiss to Eddie before he pushed up. He could see Ava was a bit too groggy to get up whereas he, Chris and Lois were all dressed and ready for breakfast. They could go and eat together and bring the rest of them back some fruit and a bit of toast. He knew by the time they got back, the rest of them would be up and ready.

When the bedroom door closed, they gave themselves another ten minutes to lie down and try to wake up before they bothered to get up and see how they felt.

Eddie dared to stand up and take a moment to see if his legs felt stronger and if his stomach felt more natural. He and (Y/n) had missed dinner last night which should have settled their systems. This would be their second day at sea, they should feel better by now and feel more acquainted at being on the waves.

He turned the music channel on the tv and moved to open the curtains, looking at the rolling waves actually made him feel a little better.

"Do you feel okay, mi amor?" Eddie held his hands out and carefully helped (Y/n) up. His hands moved to her waist and he held her close, pecking her lips when she smiled and nodded.

Twelve hours of sleep had done them both the world of good.

"A lot better… are we going swimming this morning?"

When Eddie nodded, (Y/n) knew they were both having the same idea. They may as well get dressed into their swim gear. No point taking the time to get dressed if all the kids were going to insist on going in the pool right after breakfast. They would probably spend the majority of the day in the pool; they all loved the pool and they were at sea today. The boat wouldn't port anywhere until tomorrow at midday.

"I've got the baby," He murmured against her lips and headed round to the cot where Tilly was beginning to stir. "Hi girlie,"

"Daddy," The two year old held her arms out expectingly and grinned when Eddie scooped her up and murmured 'Let's go get a shower' against her ruffled hair.

"Can we go in the pool now?" Chris swung his and Evan's entwined hands back and forth between them and stared up at his other dad. He smiled brightly when Evan grinned down at him as they walked down the stairs. He was letting Chris lead the way towards the room. The kids needed to remember and be able to find their way back to the cabin since they were going to be on this boat for almost two weeks.

"Sure, we'd better make sure everyone else is up and ready."

Evan cast his eyes down to his left where Lois was walking a step ahead of him. If she wasn't carrying a plate of fruit and toast, she would have been running down the corridor towards the room. But she had decided she wanted to bring the food back for her parents.

Evan knew the kids would be as desperate as he was to get in the pool today, they hadn't gone in yesterday. They had taken time to get used to where everything was on the boat. They'd done a quiz in one of the lounge rooms, played basketball while (Y/n) and Eddie sunbathed and felt seasick with Tilly. And then they watched a show until they all retired to bed.

Today was their day in the pool. Evan was already wearing his swim trunks, and so was Chris. And Lois was in her costume beneath her rainbow dress.

Reaching in his back pocket, Evan found the room keycard and swiped it over the door, letting the two of them walk in first.

A smile flooded Evan's face when he looked across at Ava. She had moved one of the chairs up next to the crib so she could stare out the window. Both her hands were pressed up against the glass along with her nose so she could stare out at the blue waves that rolled by and it made Evan's heart melt. None of the kids had been on a boat like this before.

All Ava could see was a mix of hazy turquoise blue with swirls of seaweed green which blended into the pastel blue colour of the sky. There were clouds rolling by in the distance, mingling with the mist in the far distance where a patch of rain was pulling in.

"Hungry, daddy?" Lois approached the bed Eddie was leaning over and placed the plate of fruit and toast beside him. She laid on her stomach on the bed and grinned when Eddie leaned across to kiss her temple. She could see he had gotten up and had a shower, his hair was still damp, he smelled of his usual leather scent shower gel. And he was now wearing his jet black swim trunks and a matching black vest.

"I am, thank you baby girl." He pinched a slice of toast and took a large bite before he looked down at Tilly with raised brows. The toddler was laid out on the bed on her back, sporadically kicking her legs out in front of her while Eddie tried to get her changed. "Alright cheeky, come on help me out."

Reaching down, Eddie scooped Tilly up and stood the two year old up in the middle of the bed once her legs were finally in her swim suit. He pulled the costume up and wrangled her arms into it, pulling it tight over her shoulders as Tilly started bouncing and bending her knees.

"Beautiful." He whispered softly and took the scrunchie off his wrist to gather Tilly's hair up in the middle of her head. Her thin wisps of hair gathered together and looked like an antenna spiked up, but it was an adorable look on her.

With a kiss to her cheek, Eddie handed her a slice of toast and set her down on the floor and he tossed an apple over to Ava. She needed to eat something before they got in the pool. Eddie took another bite of toast and slipped his sunglasses on top of his hair, but his lips quirked into a baiting smile when he watched (Y/n) walk out the bathroom.

And when Evan turned to the side and caught sight of her, he let out a low wolf-whistle and his lips formed into a wide smirk.

The teal blue two-piece (Y/n) had on was new; the boys hadn't seen her wearing it until now. It tied in a neat bow at the back of her neck and cut low down her chest. And the underwear that matched had a thin, string bow for decoration on each hip.

She was wearing a see through white swim shawl over the top. The material was paper thin but very soft, it hung just off her shoulders and stopped a few inches past her hips across her thighs.

(Y/n) leaned a hand on the wall so she could slip into her sandals, but her eyes looked herself up and down a few times. She wanted to bring her usual red and white swimsuit, but with her baby bump she wouldn't have been able to fit into it. And if she did, it would have been way too tight. The only option (Y/n) had was this two piece. And she wasn't sure about walking around showing off her stomach.

It was all well and normal to have the boy's hands and eyes lingering on her when she was pregnant, this was her fourth pregnancy. But (Y/n) was always self conscious when she was around strangers.

She wasn't used to going swimming when she was pregnant, but (Y/n) didn't want to be the only one not going in the pool. She could always sit in the shallow end with Tilly or even just sit on the edge and dip her legs in the pool.

"Will I do?" She murmured softly, gasping when Evan hooked an arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

"You look beautiful." He pressed a searing kiss to her lips and sank his teeth into her lower lip before he felt Chris tug on his shorts with a whine. The kids were rearing to go, they were starting to get impatient.

"Are we ready, troop?"

With a grin, Eddie tossed a banana across to (Y/n) so she would eat something before he looked around their family. He had Lois stood on his left, already holding his hand and swaying on his arm and he reached out onto the bed for the bag he had packed a few minutes ago. It had towels, Tilly's pull-ups and dummies and wipes in, a beaker for her, and space so they could keep their clothes dry while they were in the pool.

He hooked the bag on his shoulder and reached out for Ava who gladly took his other hand and moved towards the door.

"Come're baby," Evan reached down for Tilly when she tried to toddle after Eddie. He wasn't letting her walk around, she would get sidetracked and take her time and if she ran ahead of them she would definitely bump into people.

He smiled at the swimsuit Eddie had gotten Tilly changed into. She was wearing her lilac swim costume with blue and green flowers dotted around it and her cheeky smile was a match for Evan's.

"Pretty baby," He cooed when he picked her up and sat her high up on his chest so she could loop her arms around his neck.

(Y/n) rested her hand on Chris's shoulder and followed out after him, double-checking that both boys had a keycard each for the room so they didn't get locked out before they left. They headed down the corridor in a line and (Y/n) smiled as she and Chris moved ahead to catch up with Eddie.

Both Chris and Ava trotted ahead and waited at the bottom of the stairs for everyone else to catch them up. And when Eddie squeezed her hand, Lois ran ahead to follow the two of them. All the kids knew they could run ahead as long as they stayed within sight and were careful of other people passing by.

"Looking good." Eddie whispered with a grin and he moved his hand to rest on the small of (Y/n)'s back as they started to climb up the stairs.

"Thank you." (Y/n) grinned, poking her tongue between her teeth as she hooked her finger into Eddie's shorts and gave a sharp tug, letting the elastic snap back against his hips. She leaned her head back and looked up at Evan as they all ascended up the stairs.

"Least you two can walk today, although I'll carry you if you want me to." He leaned his cheek on top of Tilly's head, barely breaking a sweat as they climbed up four flights of stairs to get to the top deck. It was a relief to see Eddie and (Y/n) both climbing the stairs and not swaying to one side or looking like they were about to throw up. Clearly they were finally adjusting to being at sea.

Evan was the only one who had his sea legs from the moment they stepped on board. But he had always been a natural with water; he had tried out for the navy at one point too.

As soon as the three kids got to the top and ran out into the sunshine, they came to a stop and turned round. Ava had hold of Chris's hand, the five year old was always afraid of being left behind or becoming lost. And Chris never minded guiding his younger sister along and holding her hand to keep her safe.

"Which way?"

"Left, we're off to the outdoor pool."

It felt good to be out in the sunshine. They all knew if the weather had been stormy and raining, it would have dampened their day since they couldn't leave the ship. But standing out on deck with the sun blistering hot and a slight breeze cutting around them felt lovely.

(Y/n) felt Evan's hand move to her shoulder as they walked single-file, weaving between the plastic tables and chairs set out for breakfast.

They walked through a set of doors, passed through an indoor dining area and headed back out into the sunshine towards the pool.

There weren't as many people out here as Eddie expected. He figured some of the older people may have gone into one of the lounge bars, there were a lot of quizzes on throughout the day and music shows. Entertainment was a big thing since they weren't at any ports today.

"No running." Eddie's voice was loud and stern enough to stop all three kids in front of him. They came to an abrupt stop and glanced over their shoulders to watch Eddie arch a brow at them before he flipped his sunglasses down over his eyes. He didn't want them running round here. There was water everywhere from people getting in and out of the pool and from the boat swaying side to side, sloshing the chlorine about.

If the kids ran along here they would skid, and Chris didn't have his crutches which made him more unsteady on his feet. They didn't want any accidents on this holiday.

His lips curved into a grin and he looked to the left when he felt (Y/n)'s hand slip into his and she curled her free hand around his arm. She didn't want to slip either. Her head leaned on Eddie's shoulder and she pressed a soft kiss there while he followed over to the four deck chairs the kids had comandeered for them. Right in front of the pool.

"Pool!" Tilly bashed her hand down excitedly on Evan's shoulder and started to squirm when he peppered kisses against her cheek.

"Let's get ready, then."

Evan sat down on the end of one of the navy blue deck chairs and stood Tilly between his legs. He pinned his knees into her sides so she couldn't try and run off anywhere without him or else she would end up in the pool unsupervised.

He whipped off his shirt and tossed it over to Eddie since he had the bag and kicked his shoes beneath the deck chair.

(Y/n) slipped off her sandals and curled her legs beneath her on the chair, taking a moment to look around. There was a large screen just above the dining area, playing random eighties music videos. And there were a few other families with young children about which was good for the kids if they wanted to mingle. Not that many of them would, they were all too shy for that.

"Glasses please," (Y/n) held her hand out towards Chris and put his glasses on the small plastic table beside her chair. He didn't need to wear them when he was in the pool.

All the kids were eager to get in. Chris had taken off his shirt and shoes, Lois and Ava had stripped their dresses and tossed them at Eddie and Tilly was squealing. None of them wanted to wait.

"I'll take some pictures of you all."

"You not coming in yet?" Eddie took off his glasses and stood up just as Lois grabbed his hand, trying her best to direct him towards the pool.

"Not yet, I'll join you all in a bit." (Y/n) needed to wake up a little more first and the kids could burn some energy with Eddie and Evan first. Then (Y/n) would get in and probably stay in the shallow end with Tilly and stick to paddling with her for a while.

She smiled when Eddie leaned down to peck her lips and she felt Evan kiss the back of her head before they moved towards the pool.

"Ava, with me please baby." Evan held his hand out and shimmied Tilly higher up on his left hip. Ava couldn't swim well yet, she would need to stay in the shallow end with him and Tilly. Whereas Chris and Lois were fairly good and could go further in with Eddie.

Eddie sucked in a deep breath when he climbed down the steps. God, it was freezing. He tensed his shoulders and held his breath before he sank down and submerged under the water to get it over with. If he didn't the kids would splash him and shock his system. He could feel shakes rattling through him and he grinned when he broke through the surface and Lois climbed in, squealing at how cold it was.

He began doing laps with Chris while Lois followed alone doing backstrokes. Every now and then, Eddie looked across at the shallow end and he grinned. He and Evan were going to have to swap soon, it wasn't fair to leave Evan in the shallow end and Ava got clingy when she got nervous in the pool.

Evan knelt down on the bottom of the pool and held Tilly just above the surface so she was laid on his palms on her tummy. She was kicking her legs out and splashing her arms, grinning when Evan turned her in circles to make it seem like she was actually swimming.

"Papa,"

"Come here then," He waved a hand out towards Ava, she had been swimming from one side of the shallow end to the other.

He watched with a grin as she held her head high and tried to swim over to him. He was still in the shallow end but he was more towards the middle since he had been swimming around in random patterns, weaving between the other people in here. There weren't many people in the middle.

As soon as she reached him, she wrapped her arms around his neck and clung to his shoulders so tightly she almost pushed Evan under the surface.

"Papa- papa don't let go!"

"Ava, baby it's not deep." Evan cringed when Ava pressed her chest into his back and dug her arms tight around his neck. She would just about touch the floor if she put her legs down. She wasn't going to drown if she stayed around this level and didn't go any further.

He couldn't hold onto her and keep hold of Tilly at the same time, not without a struggle.

"Baby, come round here, I won't let go I promise."

He struggled to lean back and he tilted Tilly high up on his chest with her head on his shoulder while he curved his right arm behind him and held onto Ava. He weaved her round through the water and smiled when he had them both on his chest. That was better.

He lifted his legs up and took a deep breath, floating on his back to keep the girls in front of him and above the water.

Leaning forward, (Y/n) sighed and pulled the thin swim shawl over her head and laid it out behind her on the deck chair so people would know it was occupied. She smoothed her palm across her stomach, as if making sure the baby wasn't about to wake up and come alive, before she pushed up and slowly padded across towards the pool.

Her eyes landed on Eddie as he and Chris had a race back to the side of the pool. He was clearly hanging back to let Chris go ahead of him and the sight made (Y/n)'s heart melt.

She walked over to the edge of the pool and slowly sank down until she was sat on the side with her legs dangling in the water. She slowly kicked her legs back and forth, smiling when the boys swam over to her. Chris patted her thigh and beamed up at her when she dragged her fingers through his messy curls and pushed them away from his eyes.

"You're doing good, baby." She pecked his temple, but her attention turned back to Eddie when he swam over.

His hands immediately found her thighs and raked up towards her hips and he stood between her thighs, leaning up into her with a shark-tooth grin. His elbows pinned down on her thighs and (Y/n) could feel his fingers digging into her hips while he attached his lips to her stomach.

"Coming in yet?" He murmured against her stomach, smiling at the shiver that tore through (Y/n) while she ran her fingers through his hair.

All the water dripped onto (Y/n)'s legs and stuck to her stomach, but she didn't mind. She would get in the pool soon and join them.

"I will once I get a drink, you boys want one?"

"Nope; just you."

"Eddie-" She tried to warn him when she felt his hands rake down to grip her bum. But her arms deadlocked around his neck and she gasped when he pushed back and dragged her down off the side. Her legs hooked around his hips and she closed her eyes, feeling the water flip over them both like a tidal wave.

The cold water completely drenched her and had her body shaking as Eddie pushed up so she didn't completely submerge beneath the surface. He let her lean into his chest that rumbled as he laughed into her neck.

"You twat." She hissed in his ear but she couldn't hide her grin as she unlocked one arm from around him to push her soaked hair back on her head, away from her eyes.

Her hands moved to cup his face and she pulled him close, taking a deep kiss from his lips that she bit down on to make him groan. She grazed her foot down along his thigh so she could swat her foot against his bum in the water before she tried to stand up and uncurl from around him.

"I'm getting a drink."

The small smile on (Y/n)'s lips told Eddie she wasn't annoyed; she couldn't stop herself from smiling despite now being drenched from head to toe. With adrenaline shooting through her blood and the baby twisting and livening up in her stomach.

She kissed Lois's temple on her slow walk through the water towards her other man and the girls.

Her hands found Evan's shoulders and she attached her lips to the side of his neck, smiling at the girls. Tilly was sat in the shallow end, happily splashing her arms out in the water. And Ava was sat down a little further into the shallow water where Evan was knelt in front of her.

"Anyone need a drink?"

"Please- did you do a dive or something?" Evan dragged his eyes up and down (Y/n)'s frame while he curved an arm around her waist and reeled her into his chest. She didn't normally go straight in the deep end and she was drenched from head to toe like the rest of them.

"Daddy pulled mum in." Lois answered as she shook her head to get the water out her ears.

"Oh. I guess he woke someone up then?" His arm curved tighter around her waist so he could press his hand against her stomach where the baby was wriggling. He felt (Y/n) hum into his neck that she started to kiss before she looked back down at the girls.

"Ava, you and Tilly can come and get a drink with me… why don't you four play chicken?"

(Y/n) reached out for Tilly and hoisted her up. The two year old was starting to try and drink the water and if she did that she would make herself sick. She could have a break and get a drink and Ava could let Evan have a break since she had been clinging to him since the moment they got in the pool.

"Papa, can we?" Lois tugged on Evan's hand when he nodded. There weren't many people in the pool meaning they had the space for Eddie and Evan to have a kid on their shoulders to try and push each other into the water.

"Sure," He leaned down and held both Lois's hands, grinning madly as she screamed in delight when Evan effortlessly swung her up and sat her on his shoulders. The seven year old held his biceps to stay steady on his shoulders and she could hear Eddie shouting 'Oh no' as he moved to get Chris so they could gear up for a game.

(Y/n) sucked in a deep breath as she looked up at Evan, where Lois excitedly squealed "Get a video mummy!"

"I will baby, I promise." She pulled her lower lip between her teeth to obscure her smile when Evan pushed up from his knees to stand tall in the pool. Water poured off of him in gushes and the sun shone down on him and made his radiant smile beam and shine out. His eyes squinted from the combined water and bright rays of sun.

And stood there with his chest out, his arms tense and bulging and their eldest daughter on his shoulders, he made (Y/n)'s knees go weak.

She let him reach one hand out for her and hold her chin, tilting her head back enough so he could lean down for a kiss. He balanced Lois expertly on his shoulders so he could steal (Y/n)'s breath as he kissed her. His chest panted when he pulled back, but he started to laugh when Tilly reached out for him.

"Jealous bum," He mumbled as Tilly grabbed him a little roughly by the face, patting her hands on his cheeks as she pulled him close so she could have a kiss too. She was never one to be left out.

"Ava, come on sweetie."

(Y/n) set Tilly down on her feet and held her hand while she held her other hand out for Ava.

The three of them toddled towards the bar with (Y/n) slightly stooped over so she could keep hold of Tilly. The youngest girl was a menace and she would wander off wherever she wanted if someone didn't pick her up or hold her hand.

When they got to the bar, (Y/n) leaned down and scooped Tilly up so she could sit the toddler down on the bar. She nudged her nose against Tilly's cheek and gave her a kiss, arching her back out while her arms curved around her littlest girl.

"What are you having, sweetie?"

"Coke please… mummy they're playing." Ava tugged on (Y/n)'s arm and leaned up against her leg.

She moved her arms so they were wrapped around (Y/n)'s stomach and she gently kissed her tummy, causing her mum to smile down at her. She stayed leaning against her mum while her eyes focused on the pool.

Evan had Lois on his shoulders, Eddie was holding up Chris and both kids had locked hands and were currently pushing each other to try and knock the other into the pool. Ava let out a loud, excited squeal when she watched Lois give Chris a hard push and he and Eddie yelled as they toppled backwards and dunked under the surface.

"Papa and Lois won!"

Evan gave Lois's sides a squeeze and grinned up at her as she leaned down to kiss his temple.

They both watched Eddie and Chris resurface and Eddie shook his head, groaning as he tried to rid the water from his eyes and shake it loose from his eyes and his hair. He dragged his fingers through his hair as he swam closer until he was in front of them.

"Okay, next round is ours." Eddie tilted Evan's chin up so he could snatch a kiss and drag a finger across his jaw.

He shuffled back a few paces and hunched down so Chris could climb back onto his shoulders. "Come on, dad, we have to win."

"Mum, can I go record them?" Ava leaned back so she could look up at (Y/n) and she gently took the plastic cup of coke she was handed. She knew whenever they played games like this, someone always recorded them. And she knew both her dads would want to send the pictures and videos across to their auntie Hen and auntie Karen.

"Go on then."

Turning round, (Y/n) pressed a sloppy kiss to Tilly's cheek as she gently set the toddler down in front of her legs. She could see Ava trotting over to the deck chairs so she could find (Y/n)'s phone in her bag.

(Y/n) grabbed the tray of drinks and held them up high so she could see where Tilly was and keep an eye on her. She couldn't carry the drinks and Tilly and she couldn't put Tilly in the pool yet without supervision. She smiled when she saw Ava sat cross-legged on one of the chairs, drink in one hand and camera in the other as she recorded their family.

"Tilly, come here please." She kept her voice stern so Tilly would listen; all the kids listened whenever the boys talked in that tone of voice.

"Daddy, daddy." She paused for a moment and turned to look back at (Y/n) before she pointed ahead.

"He's in the pool. Wait for me."

She rounded the side of the deck chair and placed the tray of drinks down. It was easier to get all the kids and the boys a drink because (Y/n) knew once they got out, they would down a drink each and then climb straight back in. She could see Ava had downed most of her coke already.

"Tilly." (Y/n) hissed and weaved around the deck chair to hurry after her youngest who wasn't listening.

Her little eyes had locked on both her dads and her other two siblings and she was on a mission to get to them.

"Well, push." Eddie all but groaned as he looked up at Chris and urged him to move and put a little more effort into it. He needed to knock Lois over or she and Evan would have two games up on them. They needed to win at least one round before they switched partners and Eddie had Lois on his team.

He gave Chris's hips a squeeze and tried to stand up a bit taller to give Chris more of an advantage since he was taller than Lois. But Evan simply grinned and pushed up on his toes to make Lois that much higher in retaliation.

Eddie glanced his eyes to the left for a split second and his eyes landed on (Y/n) walking over with a few drinks. He smiled to himself and looked back at Evan who seemed determined to win another game.

But Eddie's stance froze and his eyes snapped to the left again when he heard Tilly scream.

A thunderous splash echoed through the air and made Eddie jolt. All he saw was a flash of purple and a wave of water splutter up and splash far enough to cascade across Evan's back.

She had fallen in.

She fell in the deep end.

"Tilly!"

"Fuck!" Eddie dug his fingers a little too harshly into Chris's waist, causing him to yelp as Eddie hoisted him up over his shoulders and held him out towards Evan.

Evan kept one hand on Lois while he grabbed Chris's arm with the other to make sure he could get himself settled and floating in the water. He couldn't move before Eddie was yelling "She's fell in!" as he pushed away and dove down into the water.

He hooked an arm around Chris's waist while he leaned back so Lois could slide off his shoulders and get into the water. She swam round his side and clung to his other arm and Evan moved both kids so they were in front of him. His arms stayed tight around them and he pushed forward, dragging them with him as he watched in panic.

He could just about see Eddie's black trunks beneath the water and his eyes locked onto (Y/n). She was knelt down on the edge, both hands gripping the side of the pool so tightly she was going to cut her palms. He could see the debate in her eyes but she didn't dive in.

Eddie had told her not to. He shook his head. He would get Tilly.

(Y/n) could feel Ava's hands on her shoulders and it made her realise that she was shaking.

She had been so close to Tilly, she was about to reach out for her when the toddler's foot slipped in a puddle and she toppled over. She wasn't a good swimmer. She loved being in the water and flapping about but she hadn't even started taking lessons yet. And as much as she didn't mind being splashed, she didn't like going underwater.

She could see all the other people in the nearby deckchairs had stood up and were all crowding round the edges of the pool. The few other people in the pool were getting closer and another man went under the surface to try and help. It only made (Y/n)'s stomach twist and made her sure she was going to throw up.

Everyone could of screamed when Eddie finally resurfaced again.

He coughed, spitting the little water he had inhaled while he blinked furiously to try and gather his senses and his surroundings. He took a deep breath and pushed onto his back, using his right arm to keep himself afloat while his left hand secured his youngest girl against his chest.

Tilly's head flopped back against his chest as she spewed water and grogged, trying to scream but she didn't quite have the air yet.

"I gotcha, baby girl. You're okay, daddy's got you."

Pushing forward, Eddie lifted Tilly higher up and swam to the side of the pool. He carefully handed her over to (Y/n) before he grabbed the edge and heaved himself up out of the water that suddenly felt dense and heavy like it was trying to drag him back under.

"Is she alright?" Evan hoisted Chris and Lois up out of the pool and clambered up too, following his partners as they quickly hurried over and sat down on a deck chair.

(Y/n) sat down with Ava and let Eddie lift Tilly back out of her arms. He sat down on the chair in front of her with Evan slumped down against him and Evan's chin perched on his shoulder. While Lois and Chris sat down with (Y/n) and Chris wrapped his arms around (Y/n)'s neck and leaned his cheek on her head.

"She's fine, she's breathing. Deep breaths, baby girl. That's it." Eddie kept his left hand on Tilly's chest and rubbed forceful circles along her back with his right hand. He patted her shoulders every few seconds until she coughed up all the water she had inhaled and she was finally back to screaming.

She flopped over Eddie's arm and coughed. Water dripped off them both and created a puddle on the chair and on the wooden floor beneath them, but it didn't matter.

"You should have waited for me." (Y/n) murmured softly, moving one hand to hold Chris's arm that was around her neck while she leaned over to kiss Tilly's head.

"You gave us a fright, baby." Evan rubbed his finger against Tilly's cheek while he kissed Eddie's neck, murmuring a soft "Well done," into his skin.

With a sigh, Eddie lifted Tilly up and turned her around so she was facing his chest. He slowly sank back against the chair, ignoring the uncomfortable feeling of his drenched skin sticking to the burning hot chair. He tilted his head back and stretched his legs out, feeling the sun beaming down on them while he tried to catch his breath back.

His chest panted and heaved, especially with Tilly now weighing down on him, but he didn't care. He wrapped both arms tightly around her and let her curl up into his chest. Her face tucked into his neck as she began to cry, cough and whimper while Eddie pressed his lips to the top of her head and quietly shushed her.

"Okay baby, you're okay. No more swimming this morning, I don't need a heart attack just yet." Eddie smiled when he felt Evan kissing his temple.

Evan ran a hand through his hair and shook off a bit more water before he opened his arms when Lois and Ava shuffled across onto his deck chair. He sat each of them on his lap and moved to recline in the same manner as Eddie, hugging the two girls to his chest. While (Y/n) stayed sat up on her chair, clinging to Chris who was pressing down on her back and kissing her cheek.

"This holiday's off to a great start."

A grin spread across Eddie's lips and he poked his tongue between his teeth, smothering his laugh when he felt both Evan and (Y/n) reach out to slap his thighs.

"Don't you jinx us, Eddie."

[buckwheeler]

Little Xmas something! (Also on ao3) Hope you’re all having a nice holiday (if you’re into that kind of thing) ❤️

Christmas Eve, Hawkins, 1992

After dinner, Steve kissed a cheek of each parent, pulled his old winter coat on, and set off toward The Hideaway by foot. It wasn’t a long walk, but it wasn’t nothing. Hawkins was frosty and fresh- a very thin dusting of snow, illuminated by the sparse streetlights, by twinkling trees decorating front lawns, by the warmly lit living rooms and bedrooms of the suburbs, and then by the neon signs in the storefronts downtown. He buried his hands in the warm, generously lined pockets, and felt his fingers close around a packet of cigarettes, an old receipt, a handful of coins, a bracelet. He pulled the receipt out for inspection. Melvalds, just milk and cereal and a ten pack of Budweiser. Dated 1987. He pulled the bracelet out too. It was one of those rubbery type ones, had clearly said something on it that had scratched off, worn away. One of the kids, probably. Or Robin. Or Eddie.

By the time he made it to the square he was red faced and shivering. Should have thought to grab a hat and gloves. He hung out for a moment on the street, anyway, and smoked one of the old discovered cigarettes. He grimaced at the taste, unused to the lack of menthol filter. Hawkins was as pretty as ever. Quaint. Unassuming. It was the same little storybook as ever. Every time he came home, no matter how many years passed, how things changed, how much the shape of his life evolved and he grew up, and no matter how many miles away he’d travelled, he was sent right back. Walking through his hometown, he was overcome with memories; unconsciously, on every corner. Childhood, teenage-hood, those lost years as a young adult. He got this anxious, aimless, dreadful, nostalgic, excited, turbulent feeling that just simmered away quietly under his skin. This muted, warped, strange kind of grief. Some street where some person from high school lived, where he’d once slept over. A store he’d gone into once with Robin. A neck of the woods not far from where he’d once fought a monster. An alley down which Eddie had pulled him, just to kiss him, once, under his jaw.

He stubbed out the cigarette and crossed the street and walked into the bar.

It was all the usual suspects. Murray was going on some tirade, propped up against the bar. Nancy was listening to him with one eyebrow raised, her hand linked with Jonathan, who was paying more attention to the jukebox. Robin was sat on a stool to his other side, rolling her eyes and interrupting. Wayne was laughing, rolling himself a smoke. Eddie, who’d been leaning over the bar, trying to get the bartender’s attention, turned around the second Steve walked in. And grinned.

Wayne didn’t stay long. Nancy and Jon shuffled off a little after. Then Murray started yawning. By midnight it was just Steve, Robin and Eddie around the little corner table, by the window, watching the snow fall lightly, watching the rainbow string-lights changing colours.

“Merry Christmas boys,” Robin smiled, holding up her drink for clinking. They returned the merry wish. They shared a bowl of peanuts.

“You’re really happy in Chicago, then?” Eddie asked, over a cigarette, later, after Robin had gone home and the bar had shut and the two of them had lingered outside.

“Yeah,” Steve shrugged. “Yeah, it’s just, fine for now.”

Eddie ashed and it flew and caught Steve’s neck, weirdly, and for a second the cherry kissed him, and it burned.

“You really happy in New York?” Steve asked.

“I’m as happy as I could be anywhere,” Eddie shrugged. He stubbed out his cigarette and immediately started rolling another. Steve’s cheeks were numb, his ears too, his fingers. He watched the beautiful way Eddie’s hair whipped his face, his dark hair against his pale skin, the moon light, the light, light snow. Eddie’s beautiful hands, pinching the filter to the paper. His broad, gorgeous, hunched shoulders. Where his tummy was protruding over his belt. Steve wanted to undo it, for all different kinds of reasons.

“Sure,” Eddie shrugged. “I dunno.”

Steve took a step closer to him. He didn’t really decide to, and then he was just pressing their cold cheeks together. Eddie sighed.

“So funny. This time of year. Being here. Every time, I just think of you. I cant stop thinking of you. As if we never broke up. As if it’s five years ago.” Steve said it all to the wall, with his arm resting on Eddie’s shoulder and his chin hooked on his arm, and their cold cheeks getting warmer from being pressed together.

“Me too,” Eddie said. “I guess I always will.” Steve felt him pull a drag, felt him wrap an arm around Steve’s middle. “But that’s what I’m always like, when I hear your name. Whenever anything reminds me of you. Your laundry detergent or something.”

They were tipsy words. They were all true. It was all just true, in the way things always were with them. So true it was almost simple. Despite all the places it was so hard. The places where the screws turned and it bruised and nobody could see each other properly. They were very dear to each other. That was just a great big fact.

“You look beautiful,” Steve said, pulling away to smile at him. “You’re a devastatingly handsome person. Did you know that?”

“Sure,” Eddie laughed. “Come here.”

It was one of those swaying, drunken kisses. Swaying like the world was swaying and they were just moving with it, staying upright. Under the big moon, on that ugly, pretty street. Eddie’s cold hands cradled his face. Then wrapped around him. They dipped, laughed a bit.

“Alright,” Steve whispered.

“Alright,” Eddie agreed, and squeezed him one more time.

“Happy Christmas,” Eddie yelled, squinting, snow in his eyelashes.

“Happy Christmas,” Steve called back, walking backwards, down the street, away from him, home. “See you in the new year.”

[justforbooks]

John Burnside

Poet, winner of the TS Eliot and Forward prizes and the Whitbread poetry award, memoirist, novelist and academic

Being John Burnside was a remorseless exercise in human resilience. Even after he left behind childhood deprivation and became a professor at an ancient university, there were always demons to be banished, myths to be busted and issues urgently to be addressed for Burnside, who has died aged 69 after a short illness. Writing was his best revenge, the means by which a sense of stability could be imposed on personal turbulence.

It was his abusive, alcoholic father George who taught him how to make a living by telling stories, though the stories his father told were more often than not lies. “No one,” recalled John in A Lie About My Father (2006), the first of three celebrated memoirs, “ever did find out where my father came from. He was really a nobody: a foundling, a throwaway. The lies he told were intended to conceal this fact, and they were so successful that I didn’t know, until after he died, that he’d been left on a doorstep in West Fife in the late spring of 1926, by person or persons unknown.”

John’s debut collection of poetry, The Hoop, appeared in 1988, and few were the following years when there was no new book from him. His poetry, like his prose, often drew on the past and his own experience, such as The Woman Taken in Adultery, from A Normal Skin (1997), and Memories of a Non-existent Childhood, from Still Life with Feeding Snake (2017): “For years I was lost in the details / heart like a flower, / tending towards the light, / the fog of the cursive, / the beauties of mistranslation.”

For his 2011 collection Black Cat Bone, he won the TS Eliot prize and the Forward prize; he was one of only four poets – the others being Ted Hughes, Sean O’Brien and Jason Allen-Paisant – to win both prizes for the same book. In 2000, The Asylum Dance won the Whitbread poetry award. A Lie About My Father was chosen as the Scottish Arts Council’s nonfiction book of the year and the Saltire Society Scottish book of the year.

Last year he was awarded the David Cohen prize for literature in recognition of his entire body of work. Previous winners include VS Naipaul, Muriel Spark, Doris Lessing and Seamus Heaney.

Secrets, passed from father to son, defined John’s youth and obsessed his adulthood. He was born in Dunfermline, but was raised in a prefab in Cowdenbeath. Once a thriving mining community, nicknamed “the Chicago of Fife”, by the time of John’s birth it had lost its raison d’etre and everyone who could escape did.

For the Burnsides the hoped-for nirvana was the new town of Corby, Northamptonshire, which attracted so many unemployed Scots to its steelworks it was known as Little Scotland. By then, however, as John recalled in his memoir, his father had begun to fall apart, physically and mentally; his much-loved mother, Theresa, did her best to keep up appearances, attending mass and reading Mills & Boons by the yard.

For his part, John took to smoking dope and playing “childish pranks” for which he was expelled from school. By 16 he had progressed to LSD, which he found more rewarding than the communion host. “Acid did what the host failed to do,” he wrote. “Acid was the only real sacrament to which I had access … Here I was, the boy who had seriously thought about a vocation. Now, though the source wasn’t quite what I’d expected, I had one.”

Of an autodidactic tendency, he read deeply and widely, claiming he was “a Seneca nut into my 20s”. He attended Cambridge College of Arts and Technology (“for something to do”), thereafter becoming a computer software engineer. He began to publish poetry in the 1980s, and became a full-time writer, moving back to Fife in 1996 after a long period in Surrey.

In 1997 came The Dumb House, the first of John’s eight novels. Fantastical, disturbing, chilling, it is full of startlingly arresting sentences that provoked critics such as Karl Miller to describe the author as an “extraordinarily good writer”. Rereading it recently, I caught echoes of Proust: “For a long time, I refused to speak – or so my Mother told me.”

For John, his formative years in Cowdenbeath and Corby were the ore from which he sought to extract diamonds. In Living Nowhere (2003), for example, he returned to the Corby of the 70s, where the hope of a better future for its transplanted inhabitants and their offspring is dashed by violence that hangs over the town like the ash and stench from the steelworks.

His taste was catholic, his enthusiasms boundless and his curiosity infectious. In his third memoir, I Put a Spell on You (2014), he describes incidents from his life and muses on popular music, classical literature, old and foreign movies, Diane Arbus and Mel Lyman, the American folk musician and film-maker who provided a link between Woody Guthrie, Bob Dylan and Andy Warhol.

The book’s title is taken from the much-covered song written by Screamin’ Jay Hawkins, another maker of his own myths. The version John first heard as a nine-year-old was by Nina Simone and whenever he heard her or anyone else sing he was transported back to Cowdenbeath. There, as a teenage barfly, he heard a girl called Annie sing it in a cafe, not long after which she was murdered.

Burly, bespectacled, latterly bearded, John taught for many years in the English department at St Andrews University, where he became professor in creative writing in 2009. Among his colleagues were Douglas Dunn, Robert Crawford, Kathleen Jamie and Don Paterson.

As my wife and I witnessed when we paid an annual visit to the university, John was an impassioned and eloquent educator and revered by his students. Not so long ago, he sent us a copy of his 2019 book The Music of Time: Poetry in the Twentieth Century, generously inscribed and thanking us for “the criticism and the encouragement over many years”. Not many writers are so forgiving of reviewers.

In 2018, writing in the London Review of Books, John told how he was suffering from sleep apnoea, “a condition where the patient stops breathing while asleep, then starts awake and desperately gasps in some air, before settling down again, all in a matter of seconds”. Two years later, in the midst of the Covid-19 pandemic, he suffered “huge heart failure”, as he described it, and was given a “do not resuscitate” order by doctors who feared he would not pull through. Somehow he did and continued to work at full pelt.

In Ruin, Blossom, his most recent collection of poetry, published earlier this year, John explored ageing, mortality and the parlous state of the environment. Having long since rejected organised religion, he labelled himself a “deep ecologist/anarchist”. He was particularly exercised about the building of a windfarm beside a nature reserve near his home a few miles south of St Andrews, not because it spoiled his view but because of the harm it would do to bats, birds and other wildlife.

He wrote regularly for publications including the New Statesman, the TLS, the New Yorker and the Guardian, and became a fellow of the Royal Society of Literature in 1998.

He is survived by his wife, Sarah (nee Dunsby), whom he married in 1996, their two children, Lucas and Gil, and their grandson, Apollo.

🔔 John Burnside, writer, born 19 March 1955; died 29 May 2024

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