#tune doesn't have a representative for obvious reasons

[duckapus]

Idea for something I might write later: A meetup of royals(and other government officials) who are responsible in some way for an Avatar, as a way of strengthening ties between their universes. Namely:

King Dedede, who ends up as a sort of unofficial leader of the group due to his experience wrangling the Star Allies.

Princess Peach, who isn't entirely certain she should have a place here considering the issues she's working through and the possibility of it implying a power imbalance between her and Mario when their relationship is already pretty rocky.

Queen Melody, so this would obviously be after Watered Down Dreams. she's rather excited to meet people from other worlds outside of a crisis.

King Mickey. I don't really have much to say about him admittedly.

Archangel Flonne, who is acting as a representative of both Celestia (Disgaea's version of heaven), which she's qualified to do as an Archangel, and the Netherworld (Disgaea's version of hell, which there are many of for some reason) that Laharl is Overlord of, which she's qualified to do as one of Laharl's most trusted vassals and his girlfriend. Laharl's not joining the meetup himself because he's self-aware enough to know he's not the best at diplomacy.

Avatar Arle's version of Miss Accord. She is not royalty. She is not part of the Government. She is, in fact, a teacher. At a school that Arle doesn't even go to. She's here anyway.

Mayor Scuttlebutt, unfortunately.

And Cynthia. It would've been Lance instead since Ash lives in Kanto, but he's closer with Cynthia, and she only has one region to handle instead of two so she had more time to come over.

[harrypotterfuryroad]

please explain the comic editing drama i'm nosy

ok so it started with this comic by someone who's reasonably popular on twitter, maybe you've seen his stuff before (note: he went tim recently but that's not immediately relevant)

the joke is obvious, but the execution is needlessly wordy. anyway someone quoted it pointing that out

the author found it and decided to touch the poo

and then all hell broke loose

tangential but important here is scott mccloud's understanding comics. anyone who was a career weeb in the mid 2000s will recognize that name since it was stocked in every barnes and noble manga section, but if you haven't read it it's a really good explainer on how comics work as a visual medium. i read it in college for a course on manga and it was literally life changing. it covers all sorts of things about how comics compare to written word, with things like panel spacing, visual composition, and page layouts all being leveraged to get your message across. notably one of the things he covered was how to use text with maximal efficiency, i.e. how to use exactly as many words as you need and no more

i bring this up because the shitstorm that broke out over the comic edit was centered around how the criticisms of wordiness were unfounded and unfair... mostly from people who i know for a fact have retweeted pages from mccloud effusively praising him for being a genius god of visual media

a lot of the big-name pronoun havers immediately declared for the artist's side because as i noted at the top he recently went full-time timmy, and there were a lot of people claiming that the critiques of his work were based entirely in transmisogyphobiny

... ignoring the fact that the guy who made the edit is also among the begendered

part of the critique that got unfairly represented was the guy saying something to the effect of "your composition is so bad that even shitheads like stonetoss are more effective communicators" which then got deliberately misinterpreted as "i love nazi comics and everyone should aspire to be like stonetoss"

and then the artist continued to Tweet Through It despite all common wisdom telling him that doesn't work and this has been going on for at least a whole day

so yeah in this one minor twitter kerfuffle we have:

lefties can't meme without a massive wall of text

terminally online people never beating the low reading comprehension allegations (lots of responses to the tune of "you literally need all that text to know what's going on")

online lefties will be harsher to someone who 98% agrees with them than to someone who openly opposes them

gender identity as a shield

zero continuity in platform, they'll gladly contradict themselves if it means they can dunk on today's main character

and lots of people pointed out that a certain other webcomic artist also famously threw a tantrum over people saying he was excessively wordy and he responded by producing loss.jpg

(which led to my favorite response to the drama:)

[rebornologist]

♡ Misc. Varia Headcanons ✧ 1 of 2

✧ Belphegor is fascinated by the dentist office kid's toy. He thinks its an absurd little contraption, but he really enjoyed something akin to mouse trap as a child and the structure of moving blocks and balls reminds him of that silly little game. It's where he began training his brain to set up traps. He would have also been a Lego kid and enjoys a good 3D puzzle. Unfortunately for him, he also had a very traumatizing childhood and is not the best at tuning in to and soothing his inner child, so you won't necessarily find him building a little miniature saw trap for fun.

Speaking of the dentist office, he built up a very meticulous routine with his dental health and adheres to it pretty well, despite being fairly lazy with everything else. It's just a part of his morning and evening routine, so he doesn't think much of it at this point in his life. Compared to the rules and to-dos that he had growing up, this is the most lax living situation he could be in.

୨୧ ⁺˳₊ ✧

✧ Lussuria is a notorious shower singer, it's like he has whole entire pop concerts in there. He will go through Lady Gaga's entire discography if nobody stopped him. He may not always have time for it, but hell, he will make time because there is nothing better for him than a little Sunday reset everything shower. He has a similar routine prior to missions as well.. gotta look and feel his best for his fabulous job, clearly.

He's an enigma for how packed his schedule is and how he has time to do so much. He has missions to complete, physical training and conditioning, so much paperwork to fill out, and is actually in charge of a lot of the Varia "onboarding", if that makes sense. Part of it is because he does see them as a family and wants everyone to be welcomed appropriately to the team. A lot of the underlings really like Luss for that reason, he's the most warm and welcoming, as odd as he can be. A number of Varia members don't even get to see their boss in the flesh, mostly hearing about him.. or hearing his outbursts and being too scared to approach and find out what happened this time... as a result, many are most familiar with Luss and Squalo as the representative leadership.

୨୧ ⁺˳₊ ✧

✧ Levi loves a good affogato, and would rather die than let the word get around that he likes ice cream in his coffee. He does not like black coffee at all, and sometimes is secretly, on the inside, extremely displeased when that is all they have available. He's got too much of a tough guy exterior to keep up to bring it up, though.

He uses a ton of alarm clocks to wake himself up, and it's fine until they are working from outside of their usual base and the walls are any less soundproof than the ones at their mansion. He's a heavy sleeper, and he falls asleep fast. Like, flop down into bed and start snoring within 90 seconds type of fast.

Y'all is it so obvious that I'm so work-brained right now.. why am I thinking about Varia onboarding procedures... I love Luss so much can you tell. I was going to continue with the other members but I got sleepy... gn xx

[khtrinityftw]

This is a post made to appreciate the unexpected psychological depth that the KH Trinity had, which was so shamefully discarded afterward to placate all the idiotic fans who misunderstood it.

As this post notes, the KH Trinity was big on Jungian philosophy; all about the self and the "shadow self". If you wish, you can also rephrase this in Freudian terms relating to the ego, superego and id.

Kairi and her shadow, Namine. Sora and his shadow, Roxas. Riku and his shadow, the Riku Replica (aka Repliku). In each pairing, it's the former who constitutes the ego, and the latter who constitutes the id, with no superego to act as a buffer between them. Namine, Roxas and Repliku represent their respective person's most negative attributes, their basest instincts and emotional urges. This is especially obvious in Repliku's case, as not too long ago Riku had allowed those very same instincts and urges to consume him.

The difference in outcomes is noteworthy. In the case of Namine and Roxas, they end up starting to embrace the positive traits of the ego.

Namine goes from timid and compliant to bold and defiant, like Kairi.

Roxas goes from (understandably) angry about his predicament to accepting his fate the moment he sees a sleeping Sora, because he's developed compassion and knows that Sora can't wake up without him and thus can't save all the people who need saving from Organization XIII's machinations. Like Sora, he is self-sacrificial.

In the end, this is what saves them. They completely reassimilate with their other selves, returning to being the id, except now the superego links them and the ego together rather than divide them off. In Jungian terms, Sora and Kairi don't wish to deny or suppress their shadows any longer, they instead wish to live with them in balance.

Repliku, on the other hand....

His tragedy is that he does not make that same choice. Influenced by the manipulative Axel, he remains the embodiment of Riku's negative qualities. The same qualities that ultimately drove Riku to attempt to murder his best friend now drive Repliku to attempt to murder Riku. So unlike Sora and Kairi, Riku ends up rejecting his shadow. Repliku's death at Riku's hands is a metaphor: never again will Riku allow himself to fall victim to his id. And yet, to show proof of Riku's change, he also shows compassion to his dying shadow self, acknowledging him as an equal and assuring him that his heart will make it to Kingdom Hearts just as any natural-born heart does.

Finally, we have Xemnas.

As a human, Xehanort obliterated his superego so that his ego became more in tune with the negative connotations that word is usually used with. He then discarded his id so that he could have absolute purity in his pursuit of darkness. The discarded id, Xemnas, doesn't seek to achieve balance with his ego nor eliminate it. Instead, he seeks to become not just an ego himself, but the superego of everyone in the universe. All people psychologically enslaved by Xemnas and behaving in accordance to his will. Empty shells of their former selves whom can only feel base emotions like anger and hate. It makes his other self's "eternal darkness" plan sound reasonable!

Maybe you don't like any of this and prefer the series beyond's approach where every character is simply their own person and don't really reflect on another character much, if at all. That's fine, but I will never understand it. Not when the KH Trinity is so damn good.

[femmesandhoney]

Genuinely asking why are Americans all talk and no action. Like theres sooooo many ppl just complaining about wages,health-care but then yall aren't protesting or doing anything?????? Like in my country we complain but we also protest. Why aren't the most affected states doing anything fr

this question involves a lot of components you might not even care about but sure okay ill try

a lot of americans are very apathetic to our institutions and/or think the institutions are fine as they are. a lot of right leaning and conservative americans legitimately think anything that minutely resembles a social safety net is socialist commie bullshit and oh why can't everyone just work hard and pick themselves up by their bootstraps. then theres a general american climate of people just not caring about politics, local or national, for various reasons. people often do not pay much attention unless its big buzz event stuff, often pointed out for them by their party.

a lot of people are sick of seeing nothing getting done (generally) in our government, but also people who are tuned in may get burntout from how obviously lobbied to hell everything is. a lot of stuff that gets passed often goes against a lot of american citizens wants or interests. you can see how over time the american public gets apathetic to this.

also notable, you act like we do not protest anything ever, which just isn't true. social movements often come in waves with peaks occuring when prominent events happen. theres always political movement and protests in the states when big shit happens, but there's gonna always be less activity for stuff thats gruelingly slow to change and doesn't really have "large" events attached to it, such as healthcare or minimum wage. not saying no one is fighting for those things as i type this, but most americans usually cannot agree on the best ways to solve these things. these issues are actually nastily hardliner issues that protesting would be...interesting for sure. i think most people think protests wouldn't change many minds and thats likely why we don't see more of it tbh. everyone is set in their red or blue corner.

continuing with the party talk, americans often put the responsibilities of those issues on their representatives, not ourselves. our job is "vote". its their job to go fight for those issues in congress. and i already stated americans are quite lenient about how much they pay attention to their local or national politics in the first place, so you can easily see the downsides to this. "put pressure on ur reps!" you say, well yeah duh, but that would require a majority to care or pay attention to their reps enough to do that. again, i think a lot of americans have a dejected attitude towards government and politics and very little interest in personal civic engagement. the reasons why to that particular element are outside the scope of your question though, but i think it helps explain why you don't see massive nationwide protests for all of our hardliner issues. not to mention protests occur more often at a local or state level rather than national since state interests can vary from national on most issues, making it difficult for outsiders to see the actual social protests or movements occuring within states, so i wouldn't ever say we do not do anything ever. theres lots of active and wonderful politically engagement americans nationwide.

also this is a tangent but you ask why states most affected don't do more and its likely, depending on the issue, a lack of time, energy, and resources. people who are struggling to live and go about their daily lives will find less time, energy, and resources to invest into going out and physically protesting shit. i think thats kind of obvious. and in a country with very little traditions of strong protest culture such as in, say, France, and one that also has strong cultural values of individualism, capitalism, and classical liberalism to a point, well, it all very much explains a lot about what americans prioritize or actually see as a problem or threat.

[1001albumsrated]

#31: Ray Charles - Modern Sounds in Country and Western Music (1962)

Genre(s): Pop, RnB, Country

Whether or not you MUST hear this is to be determined (y'know, later in this post), but this is certainly one of the strangest albums you'll ever hear in concept. What happens if you have an RnB singer do country standards with a pop orchestra? This odd beast, and its Volume II follow up LP.

I've complained endlessly about the schmaltzy string sections of the 50s and 60s so I'll cool my jets for the most part, but yeah the orchestration on this album is pretty abysmal. Ray's playing, however, is excellent. And the big orchestra at least feels a little more appropriate for these tunes, as the Nashville Sound was taking over country at the time and tended to stick to these more genteel orchestral sounds. Still, not into it.

As mentioned above, Ray is at the top of his game here. His playing and singing are excellent, and his soulful approach to these tunes really lends something special to the recording and serves the songs well. Musically it's about the furthest thing possible from country, but I think that's what makes it interesting. Stylistically it finds itself very much stuck in its time, but it still makes for a fun listen. It also represents a reasonably large breakthrough in musical race relations for the time. So far the grand cultural exchange had been fairly one sided, with white musicians making a lot of money playing black music. This is really one of the first times that an established black artist turned the dynamic on its head by playing white music.

So it's a bit of a strange listen, and it's certainly a significant one. But MUST you hear it before you die? I was on the fence about this one, but I'm leaning Yes. I would have really loved to hear this with a more traditional RnB/soul group backing Ray, but I think this still stands strong enough to merit inclusion in the strength of Ray's performances. And while I'm not sure it's an album that most folks will find themselves coming back to over and over, it's a good one to have heard at least once.

For the nerds: I listened to this one in hi-res on Qobuz. For all of the obvious effort and money that went into this recording, it still doesn't sound that great. But it gets the job done.

Coming up next: instrumental legends Booker T. & The M.G.'s with their classic album Green Onions!

[riverscuomosvelcrosneakers]

Ride the Cyclone as a musical has a lot of meaning to it, there's tons of messages and in a whole it's really tragic. Plenty of theories have gone around about what the characters represent themselves, and one that I really support is the stages of grief one. Because of that, I have taken it as my liberty to decipher and write about which characters symbolize which stage and why.

Firstly, Ocean O'connell Rosenberg. When I was first drafting about this, I had her as bargaining. She's constantly flipping through the reasons she should be the one to come back to life. Then I was rereading what I wrote, and I realized denial is a much better fit for her. In her song, and in Fall Fair Suite, she's mentioning how she did so much in life, went to school, got good grades, did everything she could to be the best, only to die before she could make anything of it. "Now I'll never graduate!" In Fall Fair Suite and her breakdown to Constance about how her death has really effected her shows proof in that statement. Throughout the musical, she's extremely desperate about getting the unanimous vote, going as far as to get mad at Mischa and Noel for saying they would vote for each other, because that would cause their two votes to cancel out. In What the World Needs, she's giving examples on why she should be the one to be brought back. She believes she's the only one that can keep the world spinning out of all of them. She doesn't want to process the fact that all she did in life was for nothing, she wants her existence to mean something. "You know I envy you. No, I do. I mean, I got straight A's since grade one. I was working towards something, I was building a life, and you. You were satisfied doing nothing. Baking cupcakes, eating them." - "I thought my life had meaning. Turns out it didn't! OH WELL! JOKES ON ME! My death has really effected me!" -Ocean O'connell Rosenberg.

Going in song order, we have Noel Gruber. Introduced as the most romantic boy in town. That alone, adds to the reason of why I've chosen him for depression. Being the only out queer in a dead end town, whilst also being the most romantic boy there, is clearly troubling for him. Fantasies of romantic dates and dinners and nights yet no one to initiate them with. In his boring life, working a boring job, with no one to love him or for him to love back, he was forced to dream up a different reality. Life so disastrous, even the role he played in his imagination was catastrophic. A hooker in post-war France, who burns herself with cigarettes just to prove to herself she's still alive. Her life void of romance, but replaced with excitement and lust. Horrifically doomed to die of Typhoid flu in an alleyway, she says, "I choose to burn out, rather than fade away." Mirroring Noel, in a way that all he wants is not just meaning, but to experience passion and lust and excitement. Something he never got to do in his depressing, boring life in his depressing, boring town. "You make me weep just looking at you. So, so tragic." "Oh, that's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me!" -Mischa Bachinski and Noel Gruber, that order.

On a more obvious note, Mischa Bachinski. From the second we're introduced to him, he's described as angry. Emotional, angry, and passionate. Clearly, I assigned him as the anger stage of grief. In both of his songs (This Song is Awesome/Talia), rage is a fairly common theme. Not only in dialogue, but in lyrics and symbolism through instrumental and tune. In This Song is Awesome, the entire song is autotuned, something that Mischa had mentioned to signify fury and emotion. At the end of the song, before it transitions into Talia, he says "My rage has subsided. A moment, I am vulnerable now." Throughout the entire song, he was expressing raw sentiment for the things he feels strongly about (ex: the lyric "feeling homesick for my homies in Ukraine"). Now, the most important evidence for his stage of grief, Natalia Muruska Bolinska. His fiancé, a women from Ukraine he met online who he never got to meet in person. In his song Talia, he's putting his heart and soul on his sleeve, showing everything he's got, all his feelings for his darling Talia. The song, mostly in a folk style, is abruptly interrupted by a verse entirely sung in autotune. The lyrics "I wanna get with you baby," play two times throughout that part. As we've learned previously, autotune to Mischa is expressing anger or strong emotions. What we can decipher from this, is that the autotune and the lyrics point to how mad he is that he never got to formally meet/marry his beloved.

For our fourth in line, we have Ricky Potts. I know a lot of people say that acceptance should go to Constance, and I agree slightly, but I feel as though it fits Ricky more. Right off the bat, we have the evidence of him conceding. Right after Space Age Bachelor Man, he concedes. He won't get to be voted for, but his vote will still count. The way I see this, whether it's meant to be taken this way or not, is that Ricky has completely come to terms with his death. He says, "There's only one commandment in the Bachelor Man Bible... don't be a dick," and that choosing himself would be the ultimate dick move. After Mischa calls him cool in the afterlife, he exclaims that he was always this way, but no one ever listened to him when he was alive. Mute, he couldn't express himself. He couldn't talk to go on about his interests in the way other people his age could. He was forced into a silent life. Now in death, he can talk. He can show the others his actual personality. He's a nerd, he fantasizes about sexy cat ladies from a planet named Zolar, probably a furry, and he's fine. I'd say he's okay with being dead, being able to actually interact without restraints. Getting chosen to come back alive would mean having to live with those things holding him back. This is why he's acceptance.

Jane Doe, or Penny Lamb. Deciding what she symbolizes was difficult. In a way, she's basically all of them, but for the sake of this, she'll be bargaining. Jane Doe, only known as Jane Doe due to her identity never being found out after death. Being decapitated, and having to spend her entire afterlife not knowing who she is. Throughout the musical, and her songs, she's heard begging, pleading for someone to tell her who she is. One lyric, "Oh Saint Peter, let me in, you must know where I've been. Won't you tell me at last who I am," is sang by her in The Ballad of Jane Doe, before she repeats the line "Who I Am" 4 times. Her song, and everything that follows, is demonstrating how the only thing she desires in death is to know who she was in life. Bargaining with higher ups, pleading for at least the tiniest bit of information. Finally, after her solo, she has a beautiful scene with Ricky where he gives her an identity to live with. Savannah, with the greenest eyes.

Lastly, the most challenging to assign, Constance Blackwood. Probably the most controversial opinion out of all of these, I think grief itself fits her. Of course, most people would say acceptance fits her better. Finally coming to terms with the fact that her life was perfect the way it was and she wouldn't have it any other way. Unfortunately for that analogy, I was able to twist it to fit the title of grief. Before Constance tragically died, she was known as the nicest girl in town. Getting awards left and right for it, always being someone that people adore for her "niceness". Moments before getting on the Cyclone, just to rebel for once, she loses her virginity in a porta potty to a random guy with cool tattoos. In her song and her dialogue, she talks about how much she despised her small shitty town. She was peeved at the mere fact that she was the only one born and raised in Uranium to think it was fine and dandy to live there. Then she explained how now that she's dead, now that she can see what she lost, she feels so, so bad for how she treated her life. Her family, her town, everything. She's grieving over not being able to accept that as she was alive.

If anyone thinks that I made a wrong choice, please tell me, I'd like the hear different opinions on this! I actually spent like a month on this cause I didn't wanna mess anything up

[a-tear-in-space]

Why Kotoko Yuzuriha is very Flip coded - a mini analysis of the song + her character

(And yes, this is what I spend my time on.)

So, first of all, the song's meaning itself. The song (to me at least) seems to be about someone acting vengance out on another, and slowly losing their sanity in the process. This can be interpreted from the lyrics, and way the music gets more intense as the song goes on.

So, the reason why I think Kotoko fits this song should be pretty obvious just from that - a good portion of her character revolves around her seeking out vengance (justice) on people who deserved it, and we can tell from the way she slowly started to become the wolf at the end of HARROW, and then the final few scenes of Deep Cover where she turns into the werewolf, that this was slowly destroying her as well.

Now, could I leave the analysis like this? Yes, I could. But am I going to? Not at all, because this is me we're talking about.

With that being said, let's look at the lyrics of Flip itself and how they fit Kotoko in turn.

Verse 1

"Here's to the one with the smoking stare

Running through my head with a bolo knife

Chopping up the threads made up from looms

Of love and blood and hate and some empty tunes"

From HARROW, it's implied from the pinboard in Kotoko's... room(?) that she dedicated a lot of time and thought to seeking out her victim. The "smoking stare" and the "bolo knife chopping up the threads" are all references to how the mc (who I'm just going to refer to as Jane for convinience) constantly had their mind filled with their victim, to the point where their mind was slowly breaking because of it (the threads = Jane's sanity/thoughts, probably.)

Verse 2

"Eyes killer cold and black and bare

Freaky little tooth hanging solo

Sucking at the walls like a rolo now

Making a cocoon when my brain fits"

Tbh, I don't really see how this could fit Kotoko from what we know, as this verse seems more about "Jane" demonising their victim internally, twisting them and making them seem more freakish and disgusting in their mind as their desire to go after them twists their own mind even more. From what we've seen with Kotoko, this might have potentially been a thing that she did, but again, it's not really clear so.

Chorus 1

"I wanna go back, I wanna go back

I wanna go back with a club and attack

I wanna take to my guns and break you

I gotta make my little foe take his own"

In terms of Kotoko, this is fairly straight forward - she wanted to hurt her victim, she wanted to attack him (though she did it with her hands and feet, not any kind of weapon.) The only line that doesn't really fit is the last one (which annoys me) but we can just skip over that, lol. In terms of "Jane," this is also straight forward and backs up my interpretation of the song. The thoughts of getting revenge on this person and harming them consumed them, and they were either going to attack them themselves, or make them commit suicide.

Verse 3

"I've overgrown with a yellow mold

Just fizzing drones in a hollow dome

My funny nose dripping little groans

I'm so so cold in the marrow of my bones"

Now, in Flip, this is the point where the music starts to get more intense, which, as I mentioned, is representative of how "Jane" was starting to lose their mind because of their fixation of getting vengance on their victim. In Kotoko terms, we see how her mind/tunnel vision was initially a pale yellowish colour in HARROW, but in Deep Cover, it was a dark, more toxic-looking yellow/green colour - it had become even worse - hence, "overgrown." This is also a good indication of how Kotoko's mentality was hurting her and destroying her - but yet, she kept at it.

Verse 4

"I look at you as you take a snooze

Your skinny lips dripping rabid goo

I lift your chin and I grin at you

As you come to, man

I'm running 'round your head with a bolo knife"

By this point in Flip, "Jane" has found their victim (and is still demonising them, hence the "rabid goo") and gets to kill them, and is super happy about it (hence why they're grinning as they do so.) We can also see plainly how Kotoko was reeealllyyyy happy at getting to kill her victim, a fact that is obvious both in HARROW (the shots of her smiling before and after her murder) and in her t1 VD, where we can hear her laughing and basically saying that she enjoyed the murder and has no regrets for what she's done.

Chorus 2/The ending (since this repeats 3 times)

"I'm gonna go back, I'm gonna go back

I'm gonna go back to a face, no more mask

I was in full bloom until I met you

I'm gonna shake my fetters I'm breaking loose"

The overall gist of this final chorus refers to how "Jane" no longer has to hide who they are after killing their victim - though it's unclear whether this "mask" was just their sanity that has finally slipped, or just them finally going back to normalcy afterwards (I'm sticking with the first option, based off of the other lines.) Fetters is another term used for shackles used to restrain prisoners, which can again be linked back to the whole "sanity" part of this - breaking free from the fetters = breaking free of their own godamn mind. Again, this links back to how Kotoko was slowly twisted more and more after she killed her victim, which is, again, evident in the ending of Deep Cover, with the shot of the werewolf coming out and looming over her, representing how distorted and monstrous Kotoko's become.

"Fox is this really what you spend your time on" YES YES IT IS.

[illolarei]

One evening meeting of the Daredevil and the Madman (Crepus and Dottore when there were no signs of trouble yet)

Run away,

Through wine to forget the pain.

Happiness far away,

If you will be different,

Twilight is ahead...

The northern winds this evening especially powerfully push the foliage of trees and thick grass, and wanting to demolish the vineyards, and then hit the strings of an old guitar harder than its owner has time to finish his chord to a quiet chorus, drowned out by the hum. There has been no winter in Mondstadt for hundreds of years, and therefore such a sign foreshadows the appearance of a long-awaited guest, whose blue crown is already looming on the horizon of the fields.

– How are you, Mr. Harbinger?

– I adjusted the elemental resonator. Reduced the pressure... Its structure has been greatly shaken by frequent use, – the scientist emphasizes with a reproach in his voice, – But your hand will stop burning.

In response, he hears only the carefree laugh of the winemaker. Of course, he is ashamed of wasting someone else's time and how negligent he is in relation to his health: The out-of-control Eye of Corruption is clearly not a reason for fun. But that's always how he is: open, irresponsible and completely unsuitable for the description of the genius of Crepus Ragnvindr.

– And in the language of ordinary mortals? – the man decided to laugh it off, in fact, as usual, not understanding the complex scientific language of his business partner.

– ...I fixed this "thing" for you. But if you continue in the same spirit, according to my forecasts, only ashes will remain from you.

Since these two met, a lot of time has passed and Il Dottore has become a frequent guest in these parts, albeit secretly from the rest of the population for an obvious number of reasons. Despite the rare cooperation between the two coldly opposed regions, the distillery maintained complete confidentiality about the essence of the meetings taking place here.

– Well, well, actually... I wasn't asking about him, – Ragnvindr smiled sadly, tuning the guitar again, which he so rarely took out and which had become almost as much a relic of the past as himself.

– So you want to hear about my working days? – in the question of the Doctor, who sat down under the shade of trees nearby, there is an obvious grin and disbelief, because he knows perfectly well from his experience that no one will listen to such a thing. No one except someone who doesn't know anything about it... And at the same time, he listens anyway, – I'm definitely not going to simplify a five–hour lecture on mutations, genetics and corpses for you...

– In that case, are your colleagues still amused by the ideas of "destroying the Mondstadt wine industry"?

– Actually, someone told me that he was not interested in such a thing at all and "By the Holy Winds, you are not here for profit!"...

– Fine! Fine, I repent... – the parody in the voice of Dottore, who finally deigned to take off his mask, allowing such a thing in a very limited circle of people, makes the winemaker laugh a lot and he raises his hands as a sign of his comic defeat. Not for long, unfortunately, because the root of his question sits much deeper, which is usually called "guilt" – I just wanted to find out thereby if you have problems because of... All of this.

– As if I would allow this to be found out – bullying takes a back seat for a while, because they can't all be indifferent to what is. Now nothing prevents reading his emotions and Harbinger sounds more quietly, carefully choosing words and not wanting to give out something more, - But even if something unexpected happened, I would still come...

– That's how. I'm glad…

Slowly fingering the strings for a simple melody, Crepus' gaze rushes to the sky, which changes its crimson clothes to a dark, impenetrable night. Is there anyone else left in this world who would like to be next to such a pathetic and insignificant person who does not represent something at least a little more, like, for example, his interlocutor. Whose gaze, as the man manages to catch a glimpse, was so attentively and enthusiastically directed at the guitar.

– Do you like it?.. – Ragnvindr does not refrain from asking the question with special trepidation, which brings the scientist to his senses and he immediately assumes his usual reasonable look, turning away a little.

– From a rational point of view, listening to musical instruments does not represent any practical value and performs only a secondary function in the education of a person for his physical and spiritual perfection, – in the end, unable to withstand the gentle gaze and kind smile, with a heavy exhalation, the Doctor softens, frowning with displeasure that he I have to admit something to myself, – I... don't know what's I found in that. And this feels... Strange. Every time.

– You didn't say it was terrible, and that's a lot for me! – Ragnvindr is genuinely elated, but the next question already takes him out of the rut in response.

– What about your canvas?

– You mean that raw sketch?.. – he puts the guitar aside, – Are you really so interested in my daub, or are you just so stubbornly unwilling to share your thoughts about work?

– Don't say that, Master Crepus... – even such an impenetrable egoist like Dottore is noticeably offended by such a question, because he does not give everyone his attention, which does not go into the zone of his studies – No matter how much you lament and no matter how blind the townspeople are, there is something in your horrifying works... Worthwhile.

– And still?

– I ... - the scientist does not dare to share something painful, even if the temptation to succumb is too strong, but still, quieting every desire for weakness, he restrains himself, – Once again, I don't want to talk about it. Even to think.

A dead silence hung in the air, broken only by the twinkling stars appearing in the sky, which dispel the long darkness. Both of them sit in silence for duty, until finally Ragnvindr makes a desperate attempt.

– Then you could... Stay, for a day or maybe two..!

– Crepus, don't... – Dottore immediately interrupts his active fuse, wearily covering his face with his hand. This is not the first such conversation, or rather, its beginning, which should be stopped and nipped in the bud. He knows what he's getting at. They know what it's fraught with. And no one will get better from it.

– I can see in your eyes how tired you are.

— No. Just... no. Neither the city nor the organization... – There was a familiar anger and bitterness in his voice that he had to remind this old idiot again and again about this. But, Heaven sees with the demons of the Abyss, how much he would like one day to destroy everything he worked on – Let's not talk about it, and that's it. Most of all, your children...

They fall silent again. It is a sad fate to be brought together by accident and being separated over and over again for a whole bunch of reasons, the main one of which is themselves. Their established ways of life are incompatible in the current conditions and, with all the immense desire, even by the Gods, by which they were abandoned, they cannot be changed until they both step over themselves... For the sake of a life that is unknown and terrible to them. One does not accept, the other will not be able to fit in. To go further means to jeopardize everything. Someone has ideals. Someone's family.

– Then maybe at least for the night? – accepting the fate that has been given to them, Ragnvindr smiles at his companion again. He knows they won't have a happy ending. But this means that they should enjoy the little that fate has measured out for them.

– Crepus... – Dottore is not ready to put up with fate, having been at war with it for all the years that he can remember, but yielding to it now, for the sake of reason and aspirations, for which he gave so much of himself. He can't be as carefree, but they forcibly pull him by the hand and help him up, gently hugging his waist, – Well, what are you doing?

– Come on, we haven't danced in a hundred years! – despite the late hour, the winemaker is not at all concerned about fatigue.

– Really, you are barely half a century old, "a hundred years"!.. How are you going to do this in silence?

And in response, the Doctor hears the winemaker begin to hum something with laughter, as music for dancing under the moon, causing a response from a slightly protesting, nervously giggling partner who does not resist at all.

After all, where else in the whole world will he find such a Daredevil who has not met such a Madman in all these life.

P.S.: i'm very upset that this text was not accepted in the ask... And yeah, at the beginning is an excerpt of my cover on Crepttore, which I can also show latter! Hope someone enjoy it 🖤

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 5th July

I am intrigued by both titles this week, for entirely different reasons. Both look like they have the potential to be excellent, and where I'm looking at the charts, both also look relatively obscure, meaning I have genuinely very few preconceptions as to what they'll be. Bring it on!

Too Young to Go Steady - Nat King Cole (peaked at Number 8)

Immediately, I enjoy the 1950s slang in the title. People don't "go steady" anymore nowadays, more's the pity. It makes me think of a video I was watching about 1950s dating culture, which if I recall correctly from the video was surprisingly wild, with lots of people going on dates quite casually with multiple partners, before choosing one to finally settle down with and "go steady", dating with an eye towards something more serious.

Based of that, I'm kind of expecting a song about wanting the freedom to date around while you're young? Or of just not wanting to commit too soon? Neither of these seem like obvious Nat King Cole routes to go, but we'll see, I guess. Is this Nat jumping on the rock and rollers' bandwagon and making music for the newly-minted teenagers?

No. No, it very much does not. The giveaway comes all the way in the first verse, when Nat is singing about being too young to commit - but the twist is that it's not him who feels that way! Instead, the song from the get go is about a girl who is claiming they're too young to commit, while Nat's less convinced. She says we're not ready, he croons, But then why am I feeling this way?

It feels like quite a real situation, the sort of thing you could quite easily imagine happening. That doesn't mean that it paints Nat in a great light. Already, lines like Too young, so she tells me / She says we'll have to wait / Why wait till it may be too late? feel a little manipulative, and as the song progresses, Nat's tone turns more petulant, as he asks Must she always act just like a child? / Won't she ever own up, we're grown up? before finally letting his resentment show, singing about how Someday she'll be sorry / Someday just wait and see / She'll wish she'd gone steady with me.

It's not a good look, and honestly, it kind of makes me wonder if Nat's girl's maybe just not that into him? I mean, the whole "she's gonna regret turning me down" vibe is gross and slightly creepy, a real turn-off. If Nat was sensible, he'd just give his girl a bit of time; if it's meant to be, she'll come round. And if not, clearly you're just looking for different things from life. Chalk it up to experience and move on, Nat!

Dubious lyrics aside, it is a perfectly pleasant song. It's Nat King Cole, you know this. The man can sing, and this lushly-instrumented ballad suits his voice well. It's a classy affair, and clearly well-made. Just a shame about the lyrics. You can do better, Nat!

Experiments With Mice - Johnny Dankworth (7)

I really hope that this is a weird one. With a title like that, it's got to be a weird one, right? I mean, what could it possibly - oh, it's jazz versions of Three Blind Mice. I see. That's... refreshingly straightforward, all things considered. It's experimental, and it's about mice. Fair enough.

I do like the little details here, and I suspect if I was a 1950s jazz aficionado I'd like them even more. For one, all the mice are named after different jazz and swing musicians, and after each one is introduced, you get a little variation of the main Three Blind Mice tune, but in the style of that particular musician. I recognised Benny Goodman and Glenn Miller immediately, but unfortunately none of the other names or sounds really popped for me. Still, it was enough for me to get and appreciate the joke, and I can only imagine how fun this would have been if I was getting the other references, if the accuracy of the Goodman and Miller bits is representative.

There's also this slightly echoey spoken voiceover between the sections - Johnny Dankworth himself? Whatever it is, it feels completely different to anything we've heard yet, a bit like a kid's storybook narrator was dropped into the middle of a particularly surreal song. In some ways, it feels like an early track by Pink Floyd, or some similarly silly British prog rock band.

I feel like if this track were much longer than it is, it would maybe annoy me? As it is, it's short enough and whimsical enough for me to give it a pass. It feels like the sort of thing you could do a reasonably funny version of on YouTube or Tiktok today, updating the musical references to something more contemporaneous - and I guess that's part of the reason why novelty records were so big, in this age before streaming. They were your source of silly musical memes to bond over and laugh at together, as much as a track to actually enjoy as a piece of music. So I can appreciate that.

Yeah, I had thoughts and feelings about both of these tracks. One was by far my favourite, though - I'll take nonsense with a strong gimmick over slightly whiny complaining any day!

Favourite song of the bunch: Experiments With Mice

[qiffin]

Are you mac enough?

"Stop staring at me like I'm some piece of meat". This is the headline of a McDonald's ad from (...) that asked an utterly pressing question ; are you mac enough? Made by the all holy golden arches, this was an ad campaign for their second highest selling papal indulgence (citation needed), the Big Mac. Put simply, the ad shows their preliminary product atop a velvety smooth red bedspread implying such an obvious metaphor it would be difficult not to have a bewildered kind of double take. There is an uncomfortable amount of emphasis put on the piece of meat in question, you can't look away. This was done most effectively to make sure it kidnaps your attention. On top of that, there's a barely tasteful use of color in the ad to make the 563 calorie behemoth pop out like a sore thumb. 

The mcdonalds advertisement as seen before, put simply, is asking you the viewer directly if you are man enough (or as the ad puts it, “mac enough”) to have sex with a big mac. Although i would say thats obvious, its a such an egregious use of “sex appeal” that it can be a little bit offsetting. Now, i don't think sex appeal is exactly the concept the ad is darting for, im taking this ad pretty seriously for what it is. I mean, it's a joke right? That was rhetorical, it's a joke, but i do think it good example of the once rampant use of sex in advertising, fast food ads specifically. From the many ads Carl's jr. has run about “size mattering” or a bikini model eating a chicken teriyaki burger or the Burger King super seven incher ads alluding to oral sex, its been go to for easy marketing for years, but as time has gone on people have only tuned them out more and more. I would say most people who have seen this ad have had a still, negotiated reading, as this is the sort of thing you just tune out, the same reason companies don't employ it as much anymore.

Despite everything, the ad does its job objectively well. You can't say much against how effectively it communicates its message, it's crystal clear and hits like a snowball. The ad doesn't have a central target audience, just the general demographic of people who would buy a burger, so most of America. I personally get a negotiated reading because on one hand it's just a harmless joke but on the other it represents, to me at least, the tail end of an extremely disappointing advertising trope. Although, i would prefer sex appeal to the more recent advertising hitch of ‘weird’ ads with cg characters and “hilarious” surreal humor. In the end though, the ad was just melted into the mental collective of other ads in its nature. We've stopped staring.

[wisewidow]

Devil Woman

PAIRING: Natasha Romanoff x Fem!Reader

SUMMARY: She's got mischief on her mind.

Everything about her screamed warning signs, but the slight tilt of the corner of her mouth suggested she knew her prey well enough to be aware of their dismissal of these dangers. I cover my amused smile with my flute of champagne, taking a long sip.

Stark was throwing a charity gala to help cover the funds of the attack on New York. Natasha was here for the obvious reasons, her being one of the newly crowned heroes of the world, Maria Hill and I were also sent by Director Fury to represent S.H.I.E.L.D. and of course donate large sums of money. The three of us had joked earlier about the amount of old pigs and drunken young pigs-in-the-making we'd have to soldier through, and the redhead had joked about a competition of how many numbers she could score before three in the morning. Maria hadn't thought she was serious, but I knew her well enough to know this was more of a challenge than a game.

Doesn't matter now. Maria had bailed around an hour ago, leaving me to the mercy of Tristan Danes, an executive at Dane Corp. I stayed long enough to become disgusted by his attempts to woo me and left without his number but his wounded ego in my clutches. That left me two partners behind Nat.

I lean against the wall in the shadows, watching her place her hand on the arm of some brown-eyed guy. Something uncomfortable twists in my stomach. My gaze narrows as I tune out the music, the bustle of the party, and pretty much everything that affects my zeroing in on the pair. Is she actually enjoying this? Can't be. Can it?

I huff, annoyed but unsure as to why. Probably because Hill ditched. Parties are dull without the sharp-eyed woman's witty remarks, which she uses to dull the high levels of testosterone around us. I down the rest of my drink and tap my fingers against the glass lightly, distracted. Natasha kisses the man's cheek. In my fury I don't notice another man approach me.

"Excuse me, love, you look darling tonight—"

"Hold this." I shove the empty champagne flute into his arms and march on a warpath towards them at the bar. The crowd parts as I comb through them.

Natasha does not look surprised in the slightest to see me in front of her. She's laughing, and the sound is enough to make me stumble in my rage. The man she'd been flirting with turns around and I recognise him as Gregory Richards, a known golden boy. I sneer at him before he can greet me, shocking him into effective silence. I turn to my redheaded friend. "I need you to fix my lipstick. Come with me to the bathroom?"

"Your lipstick looks fine to me," she quips innocently.

"Can't you do it yourself?" Gregory asks with a good-natured laugh.

"We share a lipstick tube. I need her to do it."

"Oh."

I've set us into an awkward silence, but somehow poor Greg seems to be the only one experiencing the uncomfortable feeling. Natasha glares at me. I glare at him. He looks up as if praying to God for safety, strength, and alcohol.

"I'll . . . leave you two to your devices," he decides.

"I think that would be best," I say curtly, lacing my fingers through Natasha's and hauling her through the dance floor, down some stairs, and through a hallway. She doesn't object until we're far enough away from the noise and hollers of the party, which is when she plants her feet firmly on the ground, almost causing me to stumble.

"The bathroom is this way," she says pointedly. I note that she doesn't let go of my hand as she leads me there. Once inside, she locks the door and retrieves several balls of napkins and one business card from her pockets, tossing them in the sink. "Seven numbers, including Gregory's."

"And a business card."

"How many did you get?"

"My dress doesn't have pockets. But five. Threw 'em out as soon as I got them."

"Is that why you dragged me here? You're being a sore loser?"

My jaw clenches. "No."

Silence.

Natasha approaches slowly, pulling out a red lipstick tube. "Stand still, part your lips."

I do as I'm bid and she swipes the tube across my lips in two dragged out swipes. My eyes wander to her own mouth. Her expression is a blank slate. Not knowing what I'm thinking, or if I'm thinking anything at all, I close the distance between us until our noses are gently bumping together.

"You want this?" I ask carefully.

She kisses me in response. My right hand tangles through her short scarlet locks, the other rests on her waist to pull her body closer to mine. She sighs contentedly, her arms wrapping around my neck as she deepens the kiss, caressing the bare skin of my shoulder. Our mouths work perfectly against each other, sweet and sour with the added spice of the whiskey she'd been sipping on all night. I taste every heaven on her lips, and I want more. I gently tug on her hair as I part us, moving to trail butterfly kisses down her neck.

"Honey?" She says, breathless.

I hum.

"Let's move this to Stark's office."

[cursedfortune]

This is not your child. In fact, you know just who he belongs to - and it's the monster trying to ram open the door behind you. You have bought Hugo a few minutes.

He looks a little shaken, for obvious reasons- but other than the occasional sniffle, he seems mostly tired. Ready for the mad chase to be over. But not yet! Not just yet!

He looks down at his feet.

"I'm- s-sorry. Miss Mortem." he's slightly bashful, having known her but not spoken directly to her until now.

"The world I made wasn't very good. The Batter wasn't very good either. I'm sorry. But, can you hug me? My Mama's not here- I thought I'd get to see her before--- I just don't want to be alone when he ..." His sentence is disrupted by another crack against the door. He can't help but bolt straight into her arms, his arms around her waist.

He's not your kid. But you could pretend for a minute, couldn't you?

A Child. @lcbatteur

It's a child.

Every zone they passed through, every battle they won was to get to... a child? It shouldn't surprise her, given the potential that children possess. It would take quite the reasoning for her to standby and witness death upon a youngling, and that wasn't due to a squeamish disposition.

Each bang against the door thudded like her heart beating against her ribcage; the only difference here being that one was seeking to get out and the other was seeking to get in.

His apology meant everything and nothing. It wasn’t necessary, he has nothing to be sorry about. The context has been made clearer to her. Especially when he uttered 'mama'.

The hug he initiates is one that is returned immediately. The witch picked him up into her arms, cradling the boy close - protectively, her back to the door acting now as his shield.

"I'm sorry, little love. You made a fine world, I just didn't understand it well enough. You did nothing wrong." It's him. The Batter. The monster. That's what the comments now and then by others had meant. This is what they saw the entire time. Rows of teeth, unblinking eyes - a massive frame. Those claws could never hold a child. They weren't meant to, were they? This was the entire plan, wasn't it?

It doesn't matter.

He's not taking this one.

Mortem's lips pressed atop the boy's head as she began humming a soft tune. One that grew just a touch louder as the door began faltering, bending inwards. Easy words any could remember. After repeating them a few times she placed Hugo down against the far wall, only after another solid squeeze to him small body. So small, so frail. She would have to be his strength. Her hands took his own and placed them over his ears for whatever good it may do as she signaled to the boy to keep singing. Drown out the likely violence to come.

The door splintered, the beast arrived - a drooling mess hellbent on conquering its next victim in its journey of purification. That spit may as well been acid, venom even. That's fine. The witch knew she could be just as venomous, if not more.

This boy was not her son. This boy would never be hers but in all the things she represented - that she enforced, he was hers all the same. If not by blood than by right. She’d protect him in the ways they hadn’t. No bickering Queen and Batter; unusual words exchanged that Mortem had once been puzzling to figure out now made perfect sense.

She sees him for what he is. A bad father who thinks he is doing what is best. How many of those had she witnessed lose themselves in their good intentions?

This boy, his world had become significantly smaller because of them. That’s what felt off, that’s what felt unnatural. Mortem unknowingly was on the verge of cutting the potential out of Hugo.

“The boy isn’t the problem. It’s you.” Liar. Deceiver. Enforcer. Bad father. Monster. It wasn’t Hugo that needed to be purified, it was the Batter. “You’re suffocating him.” The witch snarled as she pointed at him; bones breaking, reshaping, elongating into claws of her own. Monster. Parasite. Witch. “Where is your obedience, puppet? Do you mean to cut your strings and face me?” There is no humor to be found in her tone, no ounce of mockery or taunting. Playfulness, gone. She is judge, jury and executioner - and she has found him guilty.

The witch dares him to try. “Your journey ends here. Either accept that and adapt or make your move - you are not getting past me.”

[theangrypokemaniac]

I'll state from the beginning that the images below display the sort of sweet synchronicity to which only love can give life:

MaAndPaShipping is the best ship, and here are five reasons why:

1. It Made James

Like the boy do yer? Ever felt the slightest tingle of warmth at the mention of his name?

Well get down on yer knees and give thanks to his mother and father for gifting him to the world!

Where would we be without their remarkable commitment? Could James have grown into the dandified dream boat of your desires if deprived of the safety provided by his parents?

Had they not brought him up, he'd be dead, The Dog of Flanders fantasy made reality. If miraculously he survived, foraging in the wild is not conducive to a foppish personality.

Is that to yer fancy? No? Then let's have a little respect. The luxury Ma and Pa gave enabled his macaroni tendencies to reach such heights.

Their love created him! How can it not be celebrated?

You lot would ship Jessie's parents but you can't, because she has no dad, and I don't suppose you'll ever assent to his obvious identity of Windy Miller, although 'Jessie Miller' has a wonderful ring to it, so what can be done?

Should a Pa Jess be conjured for the purpose, he still buggered off, didn't he? Where's the allure in a faithless git?

I can't comprehend the obsession with Ma Jess. As soon as here she's stiff, and what is there to remember but coercing her daughter into eating snow?

Hey, I named her. What more do you want from me?

I'd rather have the living, visible ancestors, if you don't mind.

Yeah, says the history fanatic.

Why not make the most of the chances offered, and follow a devoted couple whose love made a difference to your existence?

2. Canon!

There are many ships which I find repulsive for involving depravity, or absurd as the subjects haven't met, or don't inhabit the same fictional universe.

Video et taceo: I see and I say nothing.

Neither does anyone. Forcing decent folk in to incest, bestiality etc. is quite alright.

Perverted ideas are left alone, but woe betide a Rocketshipper, because that's offensive.

It may be the only original ship left standing, with proper evidence and sanctioned by Nintendo, but no, it's fair game for undermining. People pick at your arguments, quibble constantly and NEED to register their objections NOW. You MUST be made aware of opposition. You're not to be permitted your views the way those with twisted tastes are indulged.

Why, out of tens of thousands of combinations, does making Jessie and James an item provoke hostility?

The strength of negativity actually serves as validation, for why be so concerned if it's an impossible relationship?

However sick they are, I'm not anti any ship. I can't muster sufficient interest to do it, and if I scroll on, I forget. I certainly don't attack those responsible.

Anti-Shipping is inherently nihilistic for promoting loneliness. They aren't against Rocketshipping through wanting Jessie and James to be with someone else, as an alternative is not readily available, so the outcome of it is neither finding a companion.

MaAndPaShipping attracts no sourpuss silliness, for 'tis canon beyond question. There's nothing about being 'just friends' when married with a son.

How's the state of your O.T.P.? Not looking too clever I expect, and what's your contribution: wishing, and hoping, and thinking, and praying?

Cast it off! None of that longing is necessary in these quarters, as MaAndPaShipping is a fait accompli.

Hallelujah! Wallow in that Love!

Don't you yearn for at least one ship that all of us accept by default, to the extent these aristocrats are spoken of as a single unit?

Across the internet, Ma and Pa are bracketed as 'James's parents', never 'he' and 'she', always 'they', barely counting as distinct characters. That's how undeniable the love is between them. Sheer indifference has awarded it a blessing from everyone.

MWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA!!!

Of course, now I've drawn attention to it the moaning will start, but we all know a spoilsport when we see one.

If they had any legitimate complaints they ought to have mentioned 'em before this piece highlighted the marriage!

Except it won't have occurred to 'em previously, proving the eternal, indissoluble quality of MaAndPaShipping.

You get good value with this one.

Find a post referring to Ma and Pa as individuals and I'll have written it, for that's what you call ironic.

3. It's a Fine Rocketshipping Proxy

I was at primary school when Pokémon hit the West like the bright, bearded meteor it is, atomizing all competition for a child's attention.

I have shipped Jessie and James before I knew anyone else did it, unaware shipping was even a thing.

There are other pairs where I think: 'That seems to fit', but it's incomparable to what I feel for them.

It is part of me. I bleed it.

I have shipped it longer than most Tumblerries have dwelt upon the earth.

I used to believe, what with the hints and manga finale, that this resolution was  inevitable, and all I had to do was wait.

Well I've been patient for two decades now, thus when I look at the modern incarnation, and realise it's no nearer to that goal, and instead is further away, waiting starts to wear a bit thin.

I resent the lack of appreciation shown to the fans by the cretins in charge, how any meagre shippy inclusion is done not with an interest in deepening bonds, but with the blatant cynicism of moulding us into performing monkeys dancing to their manipulative tune.

I dislike being treated like a sea lion, expected to clap me flippers at the wave of a fish, or as a panting dog begging at top table, where, because they're desperate to maintain the status quo, every scrap flung down from above now comes with an Anti-Ship kick in the teeth, just to be sure nothing progresses. Not whilst the franchise can still be milked for all it's worth.

I have lost faith Rocketshipping will happen. What passes for Pokémon today carries not the remotest indication of any intention on the so-called writers' part to finish it that way.

Even if it did, it's not my Team Rocket, it's those skeletal, gargoyle bastardisations. My Jessie and James never got the reward they deserved.

I'm somewhat in the market for a replacement. Beneath this loathsome carapace of acid and ice beats the tender heart of a true romantic, and it must have an outlet!

Shipping Ma and Pa provides a certain spurious relief, because it's as close as you can get to Jessie and James without it being them, both biologically as his parents, but they're so similar to the duo it counts as proof in itself.

Holy Matrimony! is prime Rocketshipping territory, not merely the balloon lift, but many slight additions are as important, like the haircuts matching.

Ma and Pa are therefore Jessie and James in the past, present and future:

The past for representing Jess 'n' Jamie gone Victorian, and we've all wondered how that'd turn out.

The present as it's there right now, absent of suffering the shameless whims of morons to get what you want. 'Tis yours to savour.

The future as a glimpse of Jessie and James once married with children, and they agree:

That's how they play it given the opportunity!

What, James in blue, for his and Pa's hair, and Jessie wearing purple, like Ma's, with a red shawl for her own, and Ma Jess's orange earrings to copy the beads?

• Money!

• Bun!

• 'Tache!

• Classy pad!

• Fancy gear!

• Pampered pet!

• Identical cups of Earl Grey!

4. Original Blend

Ma and Pa have only got two fans! We care more than the entire fandom has in twenty years!

Rocketshipping art is ten a penny, so why not display a pioneering spirit, sharpen up those pencils and be inspired?

Let your mind expand and marvel at the possibilities of these unchartered territories, and I'll reblog it if it's nice.

Pay attention to the condition of it being nice. I'm not putting up with any old toss.

Real Ma and Pa is what I want too, not those Sinnoh coffin-dodgers.

It's never been done! Every drawing breaks new ground!

I don't like fan fiction, but I wouldn't say 'no' to that either. Recall the 'nice' stipulation again.

Come on, be the first amongst your friends and get ship shape!

5. It Gives Us All Hope

Suppose your favourite amour one day became canon: you imagine that's the end of the matter?

Well it ain't.

Between Ash, Misty, Brock, Jessie, James, Gary and Tracey, there are three-and-a-half out of fourteen parents (Flint doesn't count as a complete man) and one out of twenty-eight grandparents, and that's not enough!

If the series drew to a close with your beloved couple apparently walking into the happily-ever-after, there's no guarantee it'll endure. In fact, the odds are they'll split up within a few years and leave another generation to fend for themselves or starve.

That's right, so don't presume the final episode is all you need to worry about. Can you rest easy knowing it'll go pear-shaped once the camera stops rolling?

It's futile soothing one's worries with:

Oh, but they know what it's like to be alone. They'd never inflict such stress on their children.

Oh really?

Look at that poor showing of grandparents. Either Pokémon has a system reminiscent of the sci-fi film Logan's Run, where everyone over thirty is vapourized, or these disappearing maters and paters were themselves victims of abandonment.

I bet when they settled down, they thought it'd be different for their kids, they'd make sure of it, but no, off they went down that same route of feckless self-indulgence, and that's being kind assuming they intended not to repeat history.

Depressing eh? What's the good in any of us surrendering to romance, real or otherwise, if love is but a mayfly of emotion, and all dreams are doomed to die?

Then Ma and Pa arrive, and suddenly the storm clouds part for a ray of heavenly light.

It's not only that they made the effort in what was probably an arranged marriage and have stayed together from youth, it's that they've stayed together when no one else has, which augments its value.

When separation is commonplace, sticking it out becomes rarer and rarer as any belief in the sanctity of wedlock erodes with every failure.

If they didn't bother, why should I? What's the use when it won't work?

Once that idea enters your head, it's over, and your gloom-laden attitude fulfils itself.

Society is collapsing about Ma and Pa's ears, but they persevere nevertheless, refusing to buckle under the turgid malaise engulfing the arrogant and weak.

It's bloody beautiful, man!

You may suggest an environment of supreme wealth erases normality, and to their class and time period divorce is still taboo, so they don't really have much of choice but to remain wedded.

Ah, but it's not as if they simply tolerate one another for appearances, or carried on for the sake of their son (which is more than anyone else did besides), not when he walked out on them.

They've been married longer than James has lived, so at least eighteen years (don't all squeal at once), and they're still blissfully contented!

They hold hands!

They use terms of endearment like 'dear' and 'my precious'!

They were made for one another!

They work as a team!

They want the same thing for James!

It could bring a stone angel to tears it's so beautiful!

See what success can be achieved when you try? When you endeavour to love the one you're with and make yourself worth loving in return?

Better that than chucking 'em at the first sign of trouble.

Ma and Pa is such an irrevocable union even the despair of losing their only child failed to tear 'em asunder, and that'd defeat many, but not this husband and wife.

Be grateful, for it means all is not in vain.

It doesn't have to be misery and pain: love can last despite the pressure of a wretched, hollow culture bent on self-destruction. Your ship might just succeed too.

God bless 'em for keeping the magic alive!

...

Why do I have the presentiment that I'm going to regret encouraging support?