#tumblr should be fun not a struggle and an obligation

[tau1tvec]

I hope it's okay to talk to you here. I feel that so many people compare themselves to others and feel bad because of that, that's so awful. I have also this feeling like, I do something, it's so nice, but I feel so bad after I see other people did such a great stuff. It's sad because I even wanted to leave simblr for good. I don't even know how to fight this feeling. I'm sorry and I hope you have a nice day and feel much better than me rn. <3

I'm sorry to hear about your predicament, anon, it's tough being a dark place like this and not knowing how to get out, and tbh I don't think there's any one successful, let alone easy way of doing so.

One thing I will say for sure however, is that this is a completely regular human feeling a lot of people experience, all the time. How you're going to recognize it, and work through it is what you should be focusing on. We certainly do not want to let negative thoughts mess with how we feel when we're in a situation like this, bc it can cause us to make rash, and unproductive decisions, but sometimes the best thing we can do is accept that a lot of the negativity around the issue is probably related to something bigger we're dealing with, but also the act itself.

Removing yourself from the situation all together for a time, if it's making you that upset, is never a terrible idea. Taking some time away from online spaces, and finding something else to focus on for a time, be it catching up on your watch list, or spending time outdoors can offer you the clarity you need to find out what it is exactly that's upsetting you, and what needs to be done to help you through it in the future.

The one thing ppl tend to forget about social media is that in the end all be all, it's a communal space, whose sole purpose is prioritize clicks, and ads. You're going to have to share this space with other ppl, your content is going to have to share this space with other content, even content that might make you feel bad, you have to be willing to use the tools this site and third party tools give you to make this place safer for you, and for others, bc as much as it hurts to tell you this, the majority of ppl on here, aren’t going to know how or when they need to accommodate for you, and you'd be swimming against the current trying to get them to, and although I, and many others do our best to do what we can, ppl cannot, and should not be expected to stop posting their content, just bc it makes yours feel like it pales in comparison, especially since that's just what you see, not what others see when they consume and appreciate your content regardless of how you feel about it.

Lemme reiterate, I've been there, I still go there, but I've accepted that it's tied to my mental health, and my imposter syndrome, and my past trauma, and those are all my responsibility to contend with, and I'd be a hell of a hypocrite to say that bc myself or my content feels inferior to me or compared to someone else, that it's suddenly somehow their problem too?

It's not, bc I know without a doubt someone has felt this about me and/or my content at some point in my life too, bc this is a regular human feeling, everyone feels, at some point in their life. The only difference is how we deal with it, and whether we let it define us, and everything we do.

[simpjaes]

One of my fav enha writers elix8r on here just announced that they were leaving and it just made me so sad to see someone leave due to people not appreciating their work and it made me think of you and how you’re literally one of my only fav writers who haven’t left this site and I hope you never do cause ily so much and I was wondering how we could show you more appreciation for giving us amazing fics? Like I know you’re loved by so many people and get good numbers on notes but still like I don’t want to lose you too so lmk if there’s anything else we can do for you to make you know we appreciate everything you put out here 🥺

; - ; time for transparency, and a HUGE rant. But first, thank you so much, im so honored you said this to me <3

there are plenty of ways you can support me! For instance, i do have a patreon set up for eventual writing [which will still be posted here too for the most part], that won't happen until i have more time outside of school. I also do have cash app! Which i prefer over ko-fi because i don't like my personal information shown ;-; you can ask me for my cash app tho!

Other ways include simply telling me how my fics make you feel, or if you like them. You are never obligated to tip me money for what I write, and i will alwwwaaays want feedback and reblogs!

that being said: am i leaving tumblr?

I've been weighing my thoughts lately, and i've boiled it down that i really don't know how I feel about being here after I started writing four years ago. I don't like the way people feel entitled to access my life, and who I am. [remember that blog who posted my selfies, and other writer's selfies just so people could see it? without our consent? example number 2398749382, truly]

I don't like the cliques [even if we all end up in one whether intentional or not, some of you are just fucking mean], i don't like the moral police, i don't like the performative activism, i don't like the copying even if on a tiny level, i don't like how people treat me like a celebrity. I don't like how I can't monitor closely for underage people who should not ever be looking at my blog, let alone reading work that i did NOT write for them. the main thing though, really is the entitlement from people, and the blatant nasty intentions a lot of people have here, especially between writers.

It's unbearable sometimes.

Every day, i have to be talked out of deleting both of my blogs and writing elsewhere specifically for the freedom to stop walking on egg shells. Then again, some days, like today, i like it here.

So, while I was recently just waiting to absolutely disappear without a word here, today I feel good. Today, I feel like staying wouldn't be too awful.

I just want to make something clear to people while I'm talking about it. If i stay here, i will never care so deeply about fan fiction, or people's opinions on it outside of feedback on my work. I care about it as a creative process, and a skill to be learned, that's it. I do not care what other people read, i do not care what they write, i don't care who jerks off to what. I will never, fucking ever take fan fiction so seriously that I feel hatred towards another person. unless it involves minors/underage people, of course. that's entirely different for me personally. For the most part, i genuinely only care about what I'm doing and what i can do better.

If i stay, i need people to stop expecting me to be a spokesperson on literally anything and everything. I am a person who is genuinely struggling just to get out of bed. I am a person who is studying and doing home work more than I would be working if I had a full time job right now. I do not have time or energy to care deeply the way others do, and even if I did have that time and energy, i put it on things i love. Like writing my own fics and not giving a fuck about what anyone else is doing.

This blog is my space. It's my world. I'm sick of expectations for me to make it anything more than what it is: a goddamn kpop smut blog.

This website is excruciating to open sometimes. but on days like today, i really appreciate it and love it here.

I will stay for now, but don't be shocked if, in the future, i leave without even saying my goodbyes. I have things outside of this blog that matter to me, and I will never let myself feel unhappy doing something i love, that's more for me than any other person in this world who wants to scream their opinions.

**edit 11/20** and with the AI apocalypse apparently happening here, it really does feel like....bad to be here. i don't want people who don't write to put themselves on the same level as real writers. y'know, the ones who put love and effort into their work. It's very upsetting to see the amount of people who don't care if it's being used.

especially like....knowing those fics get hella interaction because it seems readers, even if they don't know it, seem to value false writing over very real writing. oof. anyway

as long as my writing stays fun and positive, i will be staying.

[ladyluscinia]

I'm already so sick of how the fallout of ofmd season 2 has snowballed into people on here going "fandom these days just can't handle Bad Things happening in media-- newsflash, characters have to get hurt and die, grow up!" all condescending like. First of all, in the context of Izzy, most people I've seen discuss his death agree that they would've accepted and enjoyed his death if it had just been handled appropriately, and also. "You just can't handle bad things happening to your fave!" Bruh. We were all partying it up when Izzy lost his fucking leg and was suffering physically and mentally. It can be FUN to see your blorbo suffer!

And that is just one example of a larger trend on this site-- people are really gonna come onto the "we love putting our blorbos in the blender and watching them struggle and suffer" site and say "kids these days can't handle Bad Things happening to their blorbos." Sorry, but that's just nonsense. Fandom loves their fix-its, but they also love shattering their faves. The problem has never been Bad Things happening in general, but HOW those things are framed within the narrative and how that narrative is told. The problem is when something is out of place in its genre, or when it goes against a promise the show has made, or when suffering is used flippantly and uncaringly, or when a character suffers and suffers and then just when they've finally caught a break, they're kicked down again, just for a cheap tug at your heartstrings.

Both within the context of ofmd AND in a wider fandom context, fandoms LOVE when our blorbos are hurt, as long as our blorbos are hurt RIGHT.

... And I think it sure is Something that a fandom can have a rampant issue with fans of a character being harassed and sent death threats and that's just "normal fandom being fandom" but god forbid people feel Emotions. About a Character and a Show. And dare to react by... just Offering Criticism! No, death threats are "fandom culture that comes with the territory," but if you vent post or criticize a writing decision in media, THAT'S being "hysterical" and "overly emotional" and "truly frightening behavior!" I just LOVE (big sarcasm) how back when people were getting doxxed and threatened for liking a guy, the fandom was all *cricket noises,* but NOW suddenly everyone is "terrified and exhausted by fandom's volatility" and "concerned about the fragile mental health of fans" when you simply say "damn that episode sucked and I sure am sad about it."

The OFMD fandom was toxic as fuck for a year and a half and continued to be toxic as fuck for all the airing of S2, so hardly surprising that the aftermath of S2 appears to be... toxic as fuck.

Least surprising thing in the world is that the people who hated Izzy and passively or actively supported driving his fans out of the fandom for "ruining it for everyone else" now think his fans should leave the fandom if they are so upset and stop leveraging "baseless criticism" at the show that is "ruining it for everyone else." They have normal not-at-all-parasocial relationships leading them to directly @ David Jenkins and thank him for a season that somehow managed to be both flawless and have all its flaws blamed on MAX, but those wretched Izzy stans have horrible-evil-parasocial relationships making them harass the crew by *footage not found*

If Mr. Jenkins decides to go scroll the #ofmd s2 tag on tumblr and stumbles across me - a random blog and icon - outlining how I think he fucked his show up, that's pretty clearly on him? This is tumblr. I have no relationship with this man or obligation to tailor every word I say as if he's bound to see it and going to take it personally???

I'm actually a big proponent of "Don't @ the cast and crew about pretty much anything" because the same fandom mentality that makes you think you can randomly ask him about your headcanon like you're chatting is what all these people are melting down about if someone directly goes "hey you killed my favorite character and that makes me mad!" - same fucking people, same fucking parasocial relationship. The standard of "only @ them for good things" is the flimsiest fucking line, as any ao3 writer who has received unsolicited "constructive criticism" or "advice" can tell you.

If we want to snidely get into "what this is really about" well it's the same fucking thing it was before:

People substituting subjective opinion as objective fact with zero self-awareness of doing so. "I liked this so it's good." "I didn't like this so it's bad." "I got bad vibes from that character so he was clearly written to be horrendous and unlikable." "I sympathized with this character so anyone suggesting he has flaws is demonizing him."

Or the deepest circle of fandom hell: "I think [insert identity] rep is so important and this piece of media fits into however I personally define 'good rep', therefore it is flawless and/or morally significant enough to be above criticism."

...which, yeah, leads to temper tantrum levels of fandom infighting, especially since people online express, fairly frequently, "I didn't like it because it was bad" and then present evidence for their point. And also a lot of fandom likes bad TV. Or even just mediocre TV that's entertaining.

I personally was not going to be happy about any person beyond one-offs, blatant villains, and background randoms dying because "they had to" (for their own arc or someone else's) because I fundamentally think if you believe you've written yourself into that corner in a workplace comedy that's built around a main romance arc... you're kinda stupid. Yes, even if it's pirate themed. Enough injuries have been walked off and lampshaded to confirm that part is aesthetic.

The fandom wiki for The Office lists 11 deceased characters. Three of them are fictional characters who die in an action-movie episode. Two are one-offs that get named dropped seasons later as having died offscreen. One of them is an offscreen cat, who appears to have had a more significant death plotwise and emotionally than any of the humans, and another is a woman who literally exists as a picture someone makes up a personality for and then discovers the real woman died. The most significant character on the list is a temp boss that got a four episode story arc about being a useless idiot who died in the hospital after a basketball dunking accident.

That is a show that ran for 9 seasons and over 200 episodes. It's pretty universally regarded as good, and the cringe asshole boss getting genuinely moving emotional beats is a big part of that. I think we can maybe pretty confidently say that reflecting the random realities of death is not essential to every story.

If OFMD wants to be evaluated as a hard-hitting drama or a queer story about the struggle of piracy against the Evil Empire, I will compare it to Black Sails instead of The Office. I just don't think David Jenkins is going to enjoy that comparison.

I'm not going to lower my standards because [insert rep reason the show must absolutely be a wild success here].

[classic80sand90smovieloves2]

totally feel free to ignore but what are some tips you have for writing? I rlly want to write x readers soon but idk how to start

Write for yourself: write what you want, when you want, for whatever reason you want, and don't let it become an obligation. It's hard to gain traction on a site like tumblr so you don't want to get discouraged by a lack of feedback/notes: which will probably happen if you're trying to write for others instead of yourself. Gaining fame should be irrelevant to you: it'll make you happier in the long run and save you a bunch of self doubt.

Read a lot. It can be whatever you prefer: fiction, nonfiction, fanfiction, etc. It simply helps to remind you what proper grammar, sentences, and characters look like. If you ever find yourself struggling to word things, take a break and read something else.

If you're creating a new blog to write on, reblog things to it or make unimportant posts on it immediately upon creating it. They can be things you'll end up deleting in the future, it really doesn't matter, it simply helps your blog be seen in the tags you're looking to post in quicker. Tumblr; at least when I started, has a sort of authorization process (for lack of a better term) where a new blogs posts will not be seen in tags until they've made a couple posts/reblogs. It's a sort of "prove you're not a robot" process that ends quicker by doing the aforementioned things.

Tag things properly and learn proper fanfiction terms.

Rewatching/rereading is your friend. Sometimes it's necessary to watch clips back again to see the little things that you might have missed on your first viewing. Even the smallest of interactions can really help to flesh out a character when writing for them.

Watch other films. There's only so many different kinds of character archetypes out there and finding similar characters to watch can help you come up with ideas for the ones you want to write for.

Don't limit yourself. Experiment with different kinds of fanfiction and see what works for you. You might prefer one type of fanfiction over the other or you might want to write different kinds. (i.e. look into the difference between imagines, headcanons, blurbs, etc.)

Don't force yourself to finish something. If you want to write ten different things all at once, don't force yourself to complete the post you're struggling with when you could finish two different ones in the mean time.

Give credit where credit is due. Don't grab a gif from a random place and claim it as your own or steal writing from somebody else (even if it's just a small segment). Always tag or link wherever you've found something and respect peoples wishes if they don't want you to use it.

Being self indulgent is part of the fun but try not to let it cloud your judgement when writing for different characters; especially if you're trying to appeal to an audience. There's a fine line between writing fanfic and making an oc out of preexisting characters: both are fine but if you're trying to appeal to the masses and/or be accurate, don't force things to fit just because you wish they were so.

That's all I got off the top of my dome so I hope that this helps! Good luck!❤

[cunttom]

every day i kept asking when will tumblr user cunttom return from the war........

anyway. Tom unpopular opinion now

i actually returned from the war just yesterday...

LIST OF MISCELLANEOUS OPINIONS WHERE I STRUGGLE TO GAUGE WHAT IS "POPULAR" OR "UNPOPULAR"

beyond tom is absolutely excellent. while OBVIOUSLY the characters arent the real people, tomska's favoritism toward tom is literally palpable. if you touch your hand to the screen while you watch legacy it is like a beating heart. late classic > beyond > early classic > legacy.

the tom's tales are sooooo fucking good i wish people talked about them more theyre so fun and i consider them canon.he jumped in a blender. he fucked a tree. its absolutely joever.

despite edgytom distaste I LOVE HIS DEMON I LOVEEE HIS DEMON MORE PARANORMAL EDDSWORLD FUCK SHIT1! he should be fun and whimsical and silly and cruel and mean and also wacky.

its hard to take depression-angst fanon tom seriously. i try because often its venting but its so hard for me to reconcile with canon tom. to even perceive them as the same character

he should have cool gore. matt & tord get zombehs. tord gets exploded. edd gets to barf green. maybe we should have more transformation horror. matt gorewhore but someone needs to hang out with him

eddtom growing on meeeee between projection on tom and i just feel like they have a housewife4housewife thing going on. only ones with any sense of responsibility but they dont want to oblige it. theyre very "domestic" to me. tomtord hatesex? more like eddtom hatesex (due to puns)

zantom. toms cool boyfriend who occasionally whisks him off for violent adventures that edd and matt dont know about but are insanely jealous of.

his casino fit is so lame and the noir comic made no sense. people seem to just adore his casino fit. he could be so cool as a casino card dealer but edd gould just put him in a vest with a name tag. he looks like a valet. hes who patrick was mocking when he said can i take your hat sir.

thompson and tamara are hot and tom is NOT.

they took away his ass but they cant take away his canonically massive doinker.

if he was blue leader he would win. because his goal would be to take a nap and he would do it.

[magpiesmemes]

|| Magpie's Tumblr RP guide ||

So it's been a while since I made one of these but with the shut down of omegle, more people are joining the site to rp, I figured I'd explain some of the basics.

Now none of these are necessary, you can just do as you do but these are some of the 'norms' here on tumblr currently. They may change and evolve over time, they've done so countless times in my time on tumblr but here's this for now for those who might find it useful!! Please feel free to offer feedback on this, I struggle with giving instructions so I've tried to make it as clear as possible but my brain isn't the best with this kind of thing. I will correct anything that needs correcting and add things as time goes on, so please do check back if you request an explanation/addition to something as I will try to add it asap.

Last updated: 29/11/23

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BASICS

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Basic Etiquette

Don't reblog roleplays that aren't yours, often this will mess up peoples thread trackers and it's a nightmare.

Rather than reblog asks to continue them as roleplays, make a new post and link the ask in that post. This avoids blog clutter for both parties.

ALWAYS read peoples rules and about pages. No exceptions.

No one is obliged to write their character purely as they are in canon. Canon divergence, au, or just additional headcanons for canon characters is very common. Do not make issue with someone just because their writing for a character doesn't fit with how you see them. It's their character, just don't write with them if you don't like how they write them. Simple as that.

Don't godmod. This means don't take control of a persons character unless otherwise instructed by the other writer, do not assume attacks immediately hit/injure/kill their character without prior planning for such a thing. You can write the attack, just don't assume it lands. This also applies to your character being aware of things - just because YOU know something, doesn't mean your character does.

Mun does not equal muse. Many people play villains because they're fun, don't assume that these people share the viewpoints of such characters just because they're writing them. The RPC would be painfully boring without some villain muses to stir the pot!!

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xkit rewritten

The absolute saviour of tumblr rp when you're on pc, unfortunately I don't believe it's available on the phone app but it's super useful for pc users. For chrome you can find it in the chrome extensions, I'm sure it's available similarly for other browsers. The functions on xkit that specifically benefit rp are: clean feed (for blacklisting any content you don't want to see), mutual checker, tag tracking+ and trim reblogs. Any others are entirely up to your discretion whether you want to use them or not. To use 'trim reblogs' the post must be in your drafts or posted, then you can use the little scissor tool at the bottom of the post to snip off older replies and avoid posts becoming excessively long.

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Settings

So if you're like me and want a chronological timeline for those you follow? Here's how to do that. Go into account settings. Not the blog settings to edit how that looks, you want the settings that has your account info, dashboard preferences, ect. Click 'Dashboard', which should be on the right hand side menu on your screen if you're using pc. Optional: Enable 'Show timestamps' so you can see how old posts are. I find this useful as it ensures I'm not responding to something that is 5 years old lmfao. Scroll down and turn off 'Best stuff first'. This should make your 'Following' tab chronological, ensuring you see whenever people you follow are posting.

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Blog Design

Try to make sure you have a header and an icon for your blog, you can set those using the 'blog settings' tab. Even if there's no picture of your character themselves, try to use an image that captures their vibe - this advice is for both the icon and the header tbh. While not having one isn't bad, it will make people less likely to follow back or perhaps even block you! Often iconless/headerless blogs are spam bots and everyone loathes those.

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Meanings of words commonly used by RP accounts:

Mutuals - Your mutuals or 'moots' are those following you that you follow back. Private - This means that the blog only interacts with Mutuals. Selective/semi-selective - Won't roleplay with everyone, they'll rp with people based on their own preference. Thread - A single rp storyline. Verses - Different timelines of characters. Eg. Kidverse, fantasyverse, ect. Mun/Mundane - You! The writer of the blog! Muse/Muses - Character/s you're writing. Faceclaim - The 'actor' of your muse, whether canon or otherwise. Who do you imagine playing them when writing or whose icons would you use for them.

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Tagging

When writing with someone it's a good idea to put their username in the tags at the very least, this allows them to find your threads easier. ie: '#magpiesmemes' would be used by others if they were to write with this blog.

Making tags for individual threads is also useful, meaning you can find specific rps far quicker. They don't have to be fancy but some people do like to make fancy ones. A nice simple one would be 'Thread: Threadname'.

Also having tags for specific verses is a good idea, indicating to your rp partner what timeline they're writing it. Something like '#kidverse' will do the job but you also can make those fancy.

Having a tag for rp memes you've reposted is a good idea also, meaning it's easier to find if someone wants to send you something. '#memes' does the job just fine.

Lastly, if you're a multimuse then having character tags is a good idea, indicating to people what character they're writing with. Something like '#charactername' is fine but again, any tag can be fancied up to your likings.

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Pinned Post

Having a pinned post at the top of your blog has become fairly standard practice in the rp scene these days. Usually this has your important links on it (rules/muse pages) and some explanation of what kind of blog yours is. For example: 'This is a Private, selective blog for charactername from fandom/an oc. Written by mun. [Ruleslink] - [Muselink]' This would work as a simple rudimentary introduction for people checking out your blog. You can pin a post by selecting the three dots in the top right on it after it is posted, ensuring it's the first thing people see when looking at your blog. This is mine, for example but it needn't be so indepth. I just have zero chill. If you're writing on a sideblog then it's best to also have a pinned post on your main account with a link leading to your roleplay account. That way people will know that you're a roleplayer looking to write if you follow them - and also they may follow the link to check out your stuff!

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Making Rules/Muse pages

These are important to indicate to people what you will or won't write, your personal writing preferences, ect. Many people won't rp with people who don't have these as it means they can't be sure of boundaries. People often use a post to do this, linking it in their pinned post to ensure people can find it. [Tutorial on how to link posts here]. That's the simplest way. You can also make a google doc or even make a carrd instead, linking them for people to refer to for this information. Alternatively you can use your pinned post and simply list it there - though there is risk of it cluttering your page if you have many muses. To avoid that, you can use a 'read more' such as the one this post was under. Make a new paragraph and various options come up, you want the one that looks like two straight lines with a squiggly line between them. [This icon].

Things to have on your rule page:

- Things you won't roleplay/triggers. - What is your stance on shipping (do you autoship with people who rp your muses partner or do you prefer chemistry first, ect.) - Writing length preference. Do you prefer short simple threads, paragraphs or more novella style? - Do you use icons? Do you prefer your partner would use/not use icons? Same questions with text formatting. - Tagging requests. Are there things you want to avoid on your dash using xkit's blacklist?

Things to have on your muse/about page:

- Basic description of who your character is, it's best to write it as if you're explaining them to someone who hasn't seen what they're from - even if they're a popular canon character. - If they're an oc with a universe of their own, a basic explanation of that universe would be useful but isn't really necessary if you can't/don't want to. - A picture reference of some kind is also useful, if possible. - A description of the verses you write them in. For example: 'Kidverse - This verse is set when my character is aged whatever and this is a short description of what they're like in that particular verse.'

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Advertising Your Blog

One of the many ways people advertise their blogs is by posting self promos. These are usually edited images with a little blog tagline, links to important pages and a short description of your blog. Here's an example of my own. Including tags of the fandoms you write in/write with is a good way to try and draw attention your way. Alternatively, if you're limited in your image making/editing skills you can make a simple post, perhaps with an icon or gif to draw attention. Explain your blog, what you write, who you're looking to write with, ect. Make sure to include tags so people can see it!

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More To Do?

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Okay, so you've got the basics down, now what? Well, there's a lot you can do to make your blog more functional and/or appealing.

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Thread Tracking

So you've got a roleplay but you're scared you'll forget to reply? I recommend RPThreadTracker. There's a how-to use it on the site faq and it's a lifesaver in keeping track of your threads tbh.

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Icons

Though not necessary, you can find icons to use usually by searching the 'charactername icons' or 'faceclaim icons' right here on tumblr, be sure to follow peoples instructions for using them though. Some people will want a like/reblog for their use.

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Formatting

Many people, like myself, use some form of text formatting when writing. Some of the usual ones are small text, like the one I'm writing in now. That's done either by using 'ctrl+shift+-', 'ctrl+-' or you can use this:

while highlighting text. This tool also allows you to colour your text, italicise, ect. Play around with it in your own time to see what works for you. Some other useful keyboard shortcuts:

'Ctrl+b' - Bolds highlighted selection 'Ctrl+i' - Italicises highlighted selection 'Ctrl+z' - Undo, good for if you've accidentally erased text you didn't mean to erase.

[threebooksoneplot]

Question for G :)) how was your fanauthor workshop experience? I don't know if I should apply it sounds interesting but at the same time almost no reviews or whatsoever. Thank you!

well I ended up doing it a second time, so I'd say it was pretty damn good! I think the reason there are "no reviews" is mostly due to tumblr's format not really lending itself to that? @fanauthorworkshop isn't marketing itself as a product so much as a pedagogical (educational) extension of the existing fandom gift economy—an exchange where you both learn stuff and share/teach stuff!

this answer is mildly off-podcast-topic and it's gonna get super long and wordy, so it's under a cut lol you're welcome

my Fanauthor Workshop experience

personally, I found the FAW perfect for me. I was at the point in my fic writing where I was getting some lovely comments and glowing praise, but also wishing the world in general took fanfiction more seriously, as a craft to be practiced and discussed, something with both intrinsic and literary merit. @bettsfic's first episode as a guest on Fansplaining really resonated with me and kind of spoke to that desire (it's a must-listen for anyone on the fence about applying to the FAW!!)

but I had never studied creative writing at a university level, and barely knew what a crit letter was. I found the FAW was the perfect way to learn that sort of thing in a low-stress environment! I didn't struggle with feelings of burdensome obligation the way I had with schoolwork; rather I was excited to read everyone else's writing and see what it had to teach me. I also loved having an appropriate venue to air all my writing opinions, lol. I found I was so motivated that I managed to attend every FAW session even though it conflicted with family vacations two years in a row. I wrote crit letters from the lobby of a restaurant in a national park because it was the only place with wifi. I even Zoomed into one session from a random public library in Durango, where I managed to alarm everyone else in the irl vicinity with my enthusiastic discussion of fictional cannibalism (shoutout to the story we workshopped that day, it SLAPPED.)

personally, I approached the FAW with the very specific goal of Having Fun first and letting the writing stuff come second (ie, not putting too much pressure on myself when it came to choosing and polishing my own workshop pieces, and not worrying too much about how they were received.) I still ended up getting some AMAZING critiques and responses to my two (very different) pieces—I was deeply impressed by everyone's insights, how much they were able to pick up on, and how willing they were to meet me at my level. the other pieces we workshopped ranged all over the place in technical ability, from "giohvnsksbnf this writing is so good I'm gonna fucking eat glass" to "this person is clearly just starting out as a writer, but even if their prose has some technical mistakes, their story has Good Bones and their critiques and discussion observations have been spot on."

my big secondary goal was to Make Friends and there I succeeded beyond my wildest dreams. I now have SO many cool FAW mutuals, a few of which I have hung out with IRL and the rest of which I totally WOULD hang out with IRL if given the opportunity. they're all uniquely creative and clever people who I probably wouldn't have met otherwise, so that's kind of the biggest Win for me. it's so cool knowing I have all these people I could DM out of the blue and be like "hey, would you mind looking over this short story/beta-ing this fic chapter?" and end up with some great insights. there's also an FAW Discord where anyone can kind of bring fandom- and writing-related questions to the floor, as well as share recs and self-promote projects (or in my case, recruit podcast guests who I know have been pre-screened for both their chill lack of pearl-clutching and their basic fiction-analyzing skills, lol.)

I would recommend the Fanauthor Workshop if:

you're a self-taught writer who's done most of your learning in the fanfiction space and you're curious about how writing is actually taught in academic settings

alternatively, you're a writer from an academic background who chafes at some of the more restrictive rules in traditional workshops/you're tired of the irl Guy in Your MFA -types who refuse to or can't engage with your work on its level

you're ok with doing some "homework" (writing two crit letters per week) on the honor system

you're down to read original work in a wide variety of genres/read fic from fandoms you're not in (maybe even fandoms/pairings/characters you don't personally like)

you like what you read in @oficmag

you wish fanfiction was taken more seriously as a craft

your favorite trad-published writers all seem to be workshop alumni (eg: I swear half of my favorite writers are Clarion grads)

you have work you'd like to publish and/or submit someday but you're not sure if it's ready/not sure where to start

you follow writing advice blogs or send them asks

you wish people would leave "concrit" (constructive criticism) on your fics

you wish people would leave concrit on your fics but you're worried they might be too mean or not "get" your work

you wish people would analyze your work and give critique without letting their personal value judgments get in the way (and you're ready to do the same in turn)

you worry your work is too niche, kinky, queer, romance-focused, or "weird" for a traditional workshop (note: but it doesn't have to be any of these things. people also workshopped gen and the equivalent of coffee shop AUs!)

you'd like to hear perspectives that don't come from cishet dudes

you enjoy Class Participation and discussions (or maybe you're no longer a student and miss that kind of thing!)

you think @bettsfic seems like a good teacher (spoiler: she REALLY is)

you like the idea of a creative writing class with no grades or possibility of "failure"

you'd like to meet people you probably wouldn't meet in any other setting, and make some cool friends from other fandoms

if even a couple of these bullet points sound like you, you'd probably get a lot out of the FAW!! I hope the next session of FAW-ers have a blast. I'll be lurkin the Discord rooting for y'all

[tellthemeerkatsitsfine]

Okay, I finally have time to sit down and do this properly. New season! I am so excited for this one, I could have watched the episode yesterday before work but I wanted to save it for when I could really enjoy it. And stop and write things down when they occur to me.

Though I will say, I’m not going to set a precedent here. I started doing these posts, where I watch the new Taskmaster episode and liveblog it, at the beginning of season 11. I think I did every episode of seasons 11 and 12, and then struggled more with 13 because it aired during my in-person co-op placement last year, and it was hard to find the time. Then 14 was during my second placement, same issue. 15 I just had other stuff going on. So in those seasons, I liveblogged some episodes but not others, but felt like I should with all of them, and that at some point became a problem. Because I couldn’t just watch a Taskmaster episode when I had time, I had to keep saving it until I had 2 or 3 hours (it takes a surprisingly long time to watch these when I’m pausing to write notes and take screenshots all the time, especially if I’m cutting out video and making it a gif too), and the mental energy to write it while taking notes. So I’d put the episode off and try to figure out when I’d have that time and energy, until watching my favourite currently airing TV show started feeling a bit like a chore.

No one told me to do that. I didn’t feel any obligation to do it for anyone else’s sake (my liveblogging posts are nowhere near interesting enough for anyone to bother being disappointed if I don’t do one). But I do really enjoy writing down the stuff I think as I watch Taskmaster, because it’s fun to share that with people. That’s why I made this blog in the first place – too many Taskmaster thoughts and no one to share them with. It’s more fun when I share it, especially when I watch a new episode for the first time. But also, my free time is more limited than it was when I first got into it during lockdown, so I don’t want to feel like I can’t just sit back and enjoy an episode unless I have a three-hour block and the energy to take notes. So I thought it might be easier for myself if I say from the outset that I make no plans to do this every week, or even most weeks. Let’s assume this will be the only one of these I do for season 16 and we’ll see how it goes.

However, I have to do it for the premiere, right? I’m so excited for the premiere. I told myself I’d stay off Tumblr from when it airs until I watch it, to avoid spoilers, but then I broke that rule. I’ve seen a few very mild spoilers, but not too much. I do know a couple of my predictions have already come true. My prediction that Lucy Beaumont’s baffling comedy persona (the baffling part is trying to figure out how much is a character vs how much she is like that) will fit in perfectly on Taskmaster – I’m getting that that came through in interesting ways during the premiere. And my other prediction was that it would take exactly one episode for all of Tumblr (probably other parts of the internet too, but this is the part I know) to fall in love with Sam Campbell – that appears to also be happening. I think at some point earlier in the summer I said something along the lines of “If you think you know who your favourite season 16 contestant will be but you don’t know who Sam Campbell is, don’t lock your answer in just yet,” and it looks like that’s working out.

Okay, without further preamble, on with the liveblogging. Thoughts on Taskmaster s16e01, written as I watch it:

First thought: wow, why does he look so much older than I expected? Next thought: oh right, because I only really know him for old episodes of WILTY and 8 Out of 10 Cats, and time passes sometimes.

First thought... seriously, and I promise to avoid saying this constantly during the course of this season (yes I know I promised something similar about Mae Martin last season and then regularly broke that), but how the hell do they get away with continuing to do jokes on Catsdown about Jon Richardson not being attractive to attractive women when we can all Google his wife?

First thought... seriously, I have trained with at least eight different people who look just like that. There is a "wrestler look" and that is weirdly exactly it. Please, someone, make this man fight something in a task so I can find out if it's in his blood. If he walked around a varsity tournament this year and just went up to the tables and said he came second the 61kg division and wants his silver medal, they'd hand him one no questions asked, they wouldn't even look it up to check. He looks exactly like every guy who came second in the 61kg division at the provincial-level university tournaments for the last eight years.

This is good observational material, I promise. It's unfortunate that if I do another comedy set (which I am intending to do, have just put that plan on hold for a few weeks as I settle into a relatively new-ish job) it will be to an audience that is insufficiently familiar with my life experiences to get the joke.

First thought... I already used my "talk about how hot comedians are" quota for one post on Lucy Beaumont, I am trying not to just constantly write it down if I see a comedian and think that, so in interests of general decorum, I will pass on writing my first though here. Or my second or third.

First thought... I know very little about her (aside from she was good in Crazyhead), so forming much of an opinion based on this shot, and coming in strong with purple eye shadow and giant earrings with a pink tracksuit. That's a look. This will be fun.

Strong combination of facial expressions here:

I'm working as an autism therapist now, and one thing we do is show kids pictures of stock image people with different expressions on their faces, and ask them to label what emotion it is. I could print this screenshot out and use it in the sessions. Okay, kids, see if you can put a name on those five. See if you can guess which two already have a long and extremely successful TV career behind them, enough so they can sit comfortably and relatively placidly on a show that would be "big break" material for anyone who hasn't already "made it" to the absolutely highest level of mainstream TV success.

Love that one of the throne cats is still there:

We open on a food-based bad Alex Horne pun. We're back, baby!

Is Sue Perkins' Napoleon Dynamite shirt part of a task, or is she just wearing that? Either way I approve.

This is almost exactly the same as the "best wooden thing" prize task in season 9, but I don't mind. I guess if you have Julian Cleary you have to open by giving him some chances to make jokes about wood (I don't actually know much about Julian Cleary, that view of him is based on what he was like on 8 Out of 10 Cats in about 2008).

I was genuinely impressed when Julian Cleary introduced his prize without making a joke on the word "wood", and then I saw what the prize was.

Yeah, all right. I'm down for a season of watching the guy in the traditional old man chair bring in sexually suggestive furniture. I've heard worse ideas for how to go on.

I have just listened to Lucy Beaumont's entire boxer dog story, and I still have no idea. No idea if we're supposed to think she really believes in dog ghosts possessing beds and picture frames, or whether it's entirely a character. Either way, I'm mildly obsessed with how well she sells it. Though I am all for some pedantry about prize tasks, so thanks for pointing that she should be only judged on the frame since the picture's not wooden, Greg.

Sammy C opening on a surreal puppet joke. I wouldn't have expected anything less. If anyone else had done that, I'd have brought in some more pedantry to say there's no way he's had that for a while, he clearly just asked the production team to make it. But given what other things I've seen Sam Campbell make in his weird videos, I think I can believe he might have made this himself.

For anyone keeping score at him, my first proper, out-loud laugh of the new season came from Sue Perkins calling this mixed media:

Under seven minutes in and we're discussing ghosts of incel monkeys that missed the orgy. They're settling in fast to this one. None of the stilted awkwardness that you get in early studio portions of some seasons, as they figure out how each other are. Everyone's clicking in this one, or maybe Sue Perkins is just able to click with anyone.

I think Susan Wokoma must be the first person in Taskmaster history to apologize for her prize task not being haunted. It is quite beautiful, though. Only person to bring in someone genuinely beautiful (well, Lucy's picture was all right). Also, side thought that occurs to me as I write this, is this the first time one season of Taskmaster has had two contestants with the same first name?

I'd just written that these people are clicking faster than most casts, when Julian points out Susan's prize isn't "really wooden", and reminds me of the opening of season 13. That was another season that had a very strong first episode, partly because everyone got so comfortable so fast with picking at others' performances. And by "everyone", I mainly mean Ardal O'Hanlon immediately started heckling all his fellow contestants. Love that Julian Cleary is sitting in Ardal's seat and taking up his mantle.

Ooh, I love the decor this season:

The art style is rarely a thing I get excited about in Taskmaster, but I really like this one. That'll be fun to watch for ten episodes.

Ah, Taskmaster. I've missed this sort of thing:

Glad you're back, Alex. Glad you're back to making people look at you with that exact expression on their face.

Again, I'm enjoying Susan Wokoma's look.

A look at the trailer suggested to me that they haven't gone too big on the costumes this season, but strikingly blue nail polished paired with sparkly overalls is fun.

Lucy, I don't care how much is a character. I'm obsessed with you.

Several more large, out-loud laughs as I watch Lucy Beaumont struggle to leave a room. Taskmaster should blindfold people more often, that shit is never not funny.

From a pure Taskmaster nerd perspective, I like tasks that involve filming in the hall so you get better idea of the layout of the house:

Someday I'll go to Chiswick, jump the fence, break in and write down the blueprints.

Ah, I see, it's already a tower. That's a clear idea, and surprisingly doesn't feel recycled even though it's season 16, I don't think they've done that before. Set a task where it's actually already been done and their job is to just not ruin it. Surely that must have been done before at some point, right? Anyway, watching those cans fall on Lucy was glorious. That's all I really need from comedy, apparently. Just blindfold people and then drop cans on them.

Lovely tableau here:

Alex saying "All the information is on the task" to someone who's blindfolded is also amazingly funny.

So, if we wanted to be pedantic, which I do, we could discuss whether just leaving a tower up counts as "building" it. I think Susan is fine, because she put the cans on top of the tower that was already there. So she helped to build the tower, and it didn't say she had to build the whole thing by herself. Not sure Lucy's should count, as she didn't participate in the act of building it at all.

Julian and Sam up next, so they're saving Sue for last. Great, can't wait to see what disaster she created that got her put on her own.

What I've learned from Sam Campbell's stand-up and weird internet videos is that he's got a pretty strong comedy persona/brand, off-the-wall energy that I've heard some of his comedian friends say is very much based on his genuine personality, but obviously it's dialed up in a specifically planned way. They say Taskmaster is great at knocking people out of their carefully planned personas and forcing them to just be themselves, at least more than they do during shows where they're in control. I'd say blindfolding someone and making them walk around a house, especially once they've realized there might be a fragile tower in a room that they can't knock down but they don't know where it is or even for sure what it is and they only have five minutes, seems like a good way to strip away any acting. Which might be why I was struck by how incredibly genuine, and a bit off brand, the repeated swearing from Sam Campbell sounds.

Not that Sam Campbell the comedian wouldn't swear, but I don't think he'd drop the swear words quite so casually or quietly. That is a man who has genuinely recognized some bullshit and wants to share that fact with the people around him.

"I've never felt such a high things" feels like a more on brand quote, but also the sort of thing you'd say when you genuinely don't know what's going on. There's some nice editing here, contrasting Sam's utter bafflement with Julian Clearly calmly and easily reaching to the top of the tower. A combination, I guess, of Julian being calmer in general, and of him being taller so grabbing the top is not such a big deal - this task would have Lucy Beaumont, whom I'm pretty sure is tiny, at quite a disadvantage, if she'd actually found the tower and reached for the top, which she didn't. (It's okay, Sam most wrestlers are shorter than average. There's a place where you'd fit in fine.)

Another brilliant tableau: Julian standing there holding the cans at the height they were before the tower started falling, as though he thinks that's still the top of the tower, while Alex visibly winces at how badly he's fucked up:

Yeesss, my boy Sammy C is coming through with exactly what I expected from him (oh right, forgot to mention at the beginning of his post my first belief that Sam Campbell's work demonstrates the skillset necessary to do very well in the Taskmaster tasks, not just for comedy but in terms of winning the most points, I predicted he'd win so now I'm rooting for that like he's a sports team, this is the side of me that uses Taskmaster as a sublimation of my competitive nature coming out)! Perfect execution. Find it, instantly figure out the game, carefully put the thing on top, and then just lie down so they can't fuck you with you further and make you mess it up. That is how you play.

No, no, don't give me that. You lay down because you figured out that that would be the best way to make sure you didn't ruin your chance of winning the task, even if it also meant no more comedy for a few minutes. And I respect that level of play. Sure, fine, find a comedic explanation for it to give in the studio. Do that all you like. Just please keep playing this well in the house because I have backed you pretty hard to win at this point.

Lovely. They implicitly promised us a disaster by saving Sue for last, and what a way to deliver. I like the level of profanity this task is generating. I think everyone's level of profanity increases pretty fast if you blindfold them and drop cans on their head.

Further proper, scream-laughing out loud is coming from Sue Perkins repeatedly demanding to know whether there's a tower in some other spot, reaching with her hand to show what spot she means, and in the process, knocking over what few cans were left in that spot. Fucking brilliant. Using this as the opening task was a great idea.

My favourite screenshot of the episode so far:

Team task! Hooray! We don't usually get one of those in the first episode, love this.

Team Sue! Team of Sues! I approve of that.

Susan Wokoma not noticing Sue Perkins has walked into the area would be funny if it were any two people, but it's especially funny because it's Sue Perkins, who is more famous than a lot of Taskmaster contestants. What would you do if you were just minding your own business and then Sue Perkins of Mel and Sue walked in behind you? I mean I'd probably do exactly what Susan Wokoma did, which is scream in a very amusing way.

I think I need to enter this one into the contest for Best Tableau of the Episode:

Seeing the initial duos, I immediately assumed Lucy would be on Team Sue. Because, I don't know, I guess women vs. men is something they've done before so I expected it again. Also, Sam/Julian has such a specifically odd energy that it felt like they'll stick with that as the team of two, and then the women who were excited to see each other could all be excited together with Lucy on the team of three. She'd fit in there.

It is so much funnier to have Lucy, instead of joining the Sues, awkwardly walk in on the awkward moment that Sam and Julian are already having and make it even more awkward. Love that none of those three people appear to know what to make of each other.

Taskmaster team tasks are fun that way because good chemistry can of course make a good team, but total lack of chemistry can also make a really fucking hilarious team. And it's really good when you get a season with one of one extreme and one of the other, like last season with the total dearth of chemistry that was Frankie/Ivo, contrasted against Mae/Kiell/Jenny who had a great time together. Looks like we might get something similar this year, given how well Team Sue instantly got along.

"Connect the most individual parts of one person to the most individual parts of another person. All members of your team must be connected. Your time starts now." No winning criteria specified there, which means that's only part one. So this is some season 8 shit, like the time they put a garbage back on Paul Sinha's head. Get tangled up but then the real trick is you have to do something while tangled. But will the contestants know that?

Team Sue does not. I don't know if this season has any proper Taskmaster nerds, which you'd really have to be to pick up on the fact that all tasks have criteria for winning, so if one is missing that then it's not the whole task.

They sure did have a great time, though. Team Sue confirming while tying each other together that they have not, in fact, met before. They just instantly got along. Again, I think Sue Perkins might just be able to connect immediately with everyone. What a fun time, and it is so clear that their task attempt is being edited in a way to emphasize the harmony, for maximum contrast against whatever the fuck the other team does.

Title drop! Greg Davies gets the first title drop of the season, sarcastically calling the awkward team "the natural friends". Some solid facial expressions here from the friends in question (well, two of the friends - Julian Clary remains fairly facially unflappable) that seem to confirm that they are remembering how right Greg is about to be proved about their lack of chemistry.

I've been trying to think of a portmanteau for the team of three, because finding portmanteaus is a lot easier than writing "team of two" and "team of three" over and over. Season 12 was so easy to write about because "Vicotrialan" and "Morguziree" went together so easily. One of those is easy this season - I'll just call them Team Sue. But the other one - God, they're so mismatched that even their names don't go together. Not enough syllables among them. Lusamian? Cleaubell? Not many good options.

What did I say? What did I say about Sam Campbell? I said he has the specific skillset that it takes to win Taskmaster. That skillset includes the creativity to immediately realize hair counts as a body part, combined with the audacity to be some guy from Australia who's half Julian's age, and we willing to ask famous TV comedian Julian Cleary to cut off stands of his own perfectly curated hair five minutes after meeting him. And, I guess, the abandon to have no hesitation about sacrificing some of his own hair for the task. God, he looks so much like a wrestler. I'm watching this and all I see is a first-year athlete who was a hotshot in high school but new to university sports, moves to a big city to be on a big varsity team, and on their first day decides to fuck with the best guy on the team. I've seen that happen more than once, and it usually involves the little guy getting beaten up quite quickly.

Oh, and then you throw Lucy into the mix, this is perfect. Julian is clearly trying to find the least inappropriate way to tell this kid asking him to cut his hair to fuck off, while Lucy launches into a long and unnecessary explanation of how her child got food in her hair. I've said "give these [two/three] a sitcom" about Taskmaster teams before, but rarely do I want that so badly, so early in a season. But I don't want them to write a sitcom together. I just want them to have to hang out and film their lives. Lucy could organize it, like Meet the Richardsons.

As far as tableaus go, this one's not bad:

To be fair, I guess I was wrong to assume Team Sue was being edited as a contrast against the disastrous performance of Team Cleaubell. The latter's performance was very good. But showing how much fun the Sues had together was certainly a funny contrast in chemistry levels.

Sam's story about the divers that were "not, like bubbly personalities, no offence [to Team Sue]" has again upped the already impressively high laugh count of this episode.

Ah, that's the sort of thing I hoped for when I heard we'd get Sue Perkins on Taskmaster. Her cheerfully calling Alex Horne a shitgiblet. Good stuff. This is all good stuff.

Quite a few more laughs in watching Team Sue drag themselves, each other, and a box across the finish line. That's some season six shit, reminiscent of Russell Howard and Alice Levine. Two people crossing a field while tied to each other and dragging a box - just some solid, classic good old fashioned Taskmaster fun.

I know Alex is kidding when he says he's going to "spoil" us with a location task, but that really is the case. A team task, a two-parter, and a location task all in episode 1. That's not common, but I like it. Show us everything we're working with.

I hope the editors had a really good time adding all that creepy animal footage.

Greatly enjoyed Lucy's story about being good at hook-the-duck in school (no idea what that is - is it a British school game or some shit that Lucy Beaumont had a dream about once?), because she could hook the ducks. I remain obsessed with her whole thing, whatever the hell it is.

First thought on hearing the task instructions: obviously you pop the inflatable duck, right? Does anyone pop the inflatable duck? It doesn't say you can't pop the inflatable duck.

And now we come to one of things I had seen spoilered, I saw a screenshot set of Lucy's utterly ludicrous talk with Greg about having arms where her legs should be. Amusing in screenshot form, obviously hilarious in the video. Lucy. Lucy, what are you? How do you work? Tell me your secrets.

I keep calling him "Sammy C" when I want to slightly ironically (honestly, not as ironically as I'd like to be about it) refer to Sam Campbell as something like the star of a sports team I'm rooting for, when I want to call him really good at the competitive elements because that's the sort of way his name would get abbreviated in a sports setting (I think I may have used the term "my boy" to describe him earlier in this post, also a thing people in a sports community tend to say about athletes they support, and I'm hoping my use of that term came off as a ironic even though in real life I absolutely use that term unironically and I was really being insufficiently ironic when applying it to Sam Campbell). However, someone else is looking so impressive here that I think I have to apply the same sports-style hype to her performance: Susie P! Susie P coming through with the lateral thinking of moving boundaries! What a classic! Fucking right!

...Is it weird that I think I've maybe never been more attracted to Sue Perkins? Which is saying a fair bit, as I was first attracted to her when I was about 19 and getting into The News Quiz.

That post-duck conversation was great, it's amazing how the studio banter is sparkling right from episode 1. They're all playing well off Greg and Alex, maybe a little more hesitation in playing off each other, but that's coming though. Great confused pleading from Lucy. Great sarcasm (that's not quite the right words, I guess - comedic condescention?) from Sue about the difference between a TV show and the law. Sam Campbell giggling in between them as they argued over him was a delight. But most of the credit for that what made that bit funny has to go to Lucy Beaumont - whatever her character is, she hits its notes perfectly.

Watching Julian Cleary get right up to a flamingo and then just not care and go right through it was funny. Obviously my favourites are the Taskmaster contestants who care way too much and get obsessive and competitive and argumentative and throw themselves right into it. But if a season has just one contestant who doesn't give a fuck, that can be funny. And I feel like Julian Cleary is perfectly suited to the "doesn't give a fuck on Taskmaster" role.

Well no one popped it, but Susan and Julian did find solid techniques. Showing that it's really not that hard to get it through if you spend about ten seconds finding a slightly different way to do it. I don't know why three people went with rolling it.

Okay, from a purely sports fan perspective here, nice that it turns out two people cheated so the one task in this episode (so far) where Sam did badly, he still finishes in the middle. Solid showing. Sorry for bringing sports competition into Taskmaster. I am, just so everyone knows, aware that it's the wrong way to watch it. I'm not like an American TV viewer who thinks there's a real prize. I like the comedy. But I really like competitions.

All right, this episode/post has already taken up most of my afternoon, so I decided to watch the entire live task instead of taking notes throughout it. That was great fun though. I always like the ones like that, where they get one turn at a time. Obviously got some good laughs on Sue calling Alex an "utter shit", and a bigger one on the "child of divorce" line (though that laugh would have been even bigger had I not seen a spoiler about it, I really need to stay off Tumblr until I watch these episodes). Loved the ending, that brief moment of glory when it looked like they weighed the same and he called it.

I can tell if Sam Campbell was being intentionally weird by not doing anything with the prizes after he won and then wandering away, or if he actually just didn't know what to do. Either way, that was also funny.

God, what a fantastic opener. Great season that it's setting up, I think, but also just really strong for a first episode. I cannot wait to see the rest of this.

[lily-orchard-gossip-blog]

at.tumblr.||com/lily-orchard/toh-fans-were-saying-luzs- || depression-arc-was/n15gs2tejahh (link broken up because tumblr and anon messages)

God the way she and that anon talk about Luz here… zero fucking compassion. “Luz doesn’t learn the lesson she’s clearly supposed to learn!” Bitch yeah she doesn’t. Because she’s a self-loathing fourteen year old girl who is still afraid everyone in her life will hate her.

They both criticize the other members of her cast for “bending over backwards for Luz” because clearly, if your loved one is pushing everyone away because she thinks she should be hated the right response is… to hate her for it? Like i get that you should not be expected to support someone else’s entire mental health, but wow. What the fuck.

It also rubs me the wrong way because of things i have personally experienced. I struggle with my mental health, and Luz’s pushing away everyone and trying to punish herself very much is realistic. I did the same thing, including trying to get out of celebrating my own birthday and considering skipping my prom because I felt like i didn’t deserve to celebrate and have fun. I’ve had a friend do something similar as well.

And i get what she’s getting at. Being shut out really fucking sucks. It makes you feel unwanted in a way that hurts deeply. And you are not obligated to put up with it. But here’s the thing: the others are choosing to combat it and put up with it. Amity tells her directly that she knows it’s hard and scary, but she wants to keep Luz in her life. And it’s not like they’re constantly up her ass trying to be her therapist like the post alludes to - they do their own thing in thanks to them. They are giving her space.

And yes, Luz is in a bad place and not being the perfect little uwu sunshine baby anymore - but that’s normal. It’s normal to not be perfect all the time. It’s normal to help your friend through a though time. It’s okay to be a burden sometimes. Lily is also referring to Luz’s other coping mechanism of “must fix this all by myself” as better than her depression, without recognizing that this is very much how Luz acts here. Yes, she’s not proactive, but in her current situation there isn’t really any way for her to be. She still takes it all upon herself and believes she must make up for it somehow - the thing is, she can’t. Her decision never to return to the demon realm is a desperate attempt to repent somehow, and in her logic even prevent further harm. Lily just refuses to engage with any of that, because having a character go through a realistic arc after experiencing an immensely traumatic event is just edgy torture porn for her.

.

[cellythefloshie]

How often do you post?

As a writer myself I feel inadequate when I see people post a ton. I’m trying to get the second chapter out on my first series but it’s taking forever the first chapter was posted a month ago. I feel bad for my readers. -🦩

I don't really have a set posting schedule anymore. If I have the content, I would try to post 2 times a week (Tuesdays and Thursdays) but in the reality of it all, I rarely have that much content to push out these days.

In 2023, my muse and writing time was very inconsistent, and it can be seen in the chart below that displays my posts per month for 2023 - this includes fics and imagines (but does not include NSFW Alphabets).

As you can see, there are months where I posted less than 5 times (January, June, August, October, November and December) others more than 16 (March). Those low post months can be very discouraging, especially when you see people posting a lot of fics in a short period of time - ex this holiday season I saw a lot of people writing anthology collections for the holidays. They were posting almost daily! And here I was struggling to get 3 fics out! And that's a completely natural feeling to have. Sometimes it just takes longer to make content and that's okay!

There are so many factors that come into play when you get to write and post. Work, family, friends, wellness, motivation. They will all cut into your writing time. And please remember, that all of those thing should be a priority before a blog on Tumblr. This is a hobby, for fun, this is not a job. With that said, let me show you how those things influenced my writing in 2023 by comparing 2 months: April and December. The following are my stats for April:

I wrote 5 imagines for my 300 Follower Celebration and posted 5 fics for Road Wife and one Stand Alone Fic: Daddy Dunn. The shortest post was 528 words, the longest being 7735. The Average Word Count was: 2334 Words.

During this time, I was working 8:00 am to 4:00 pm. My job was not demanding, with a lot of downtime that allowed me to write multiple short fics during my work day.

April is also a month that is not busy for me, I have no family obligation (birthdays, anniversaries etc). which gave me more free time after working hours to write. Burn out was non existent.

The following are my stats for December:

I wrote 3 fics in December. I had no events active on my blog this month - yes, I've been avoiding finishing my 500 follower celebration posts but I swear I will get those done in 2024. ANYWAY. The Shortest fic was 826 words, the longest being 12,164. The Average Word Count was: 4753.

During this time, I was training at a new job, working 8:30am - 4:00pm. I spent many of my evenings studying. I no longer had time to write during work with the exception of the occasional work break. I also began the transition to working shift work. Burnout has been high (since October/November which also saw me writing 2 and 3 fics respectively) Which means I have also been focusing more on my self care and other hobbies that are a little less taxing.

December is also a busy month in regards to family with needing to shop for Christmas, celebrating Christmas, as well as the new year.

Now, this has been a very long and very detailed way to sum up one single statement - how often you post will be dependent on the writer and often things out of their control. But I did want to show how variable those things can be instead of just spouting off random factors without proof as to how things have influenced my ability to write and post.

Feel free to reach out again if you have any further questions!

[myevilmouse]

For the deep fic writer asks:

10. how has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

Thank you 🤗

Ah thank you so much for these asks tonight!  So much fun to think about this stuff.

10. how has writing positively impacted your mental health or overall mood?

I love this question because it is an awesome thing to think about.  For me, the best thing about writing fanfic is rediscovering my love of writing in general.  English was always my favorite class in high school, and I wrote short stories and things in creative writing that I loved back then.  It was really fun.  Hobbies should be fun and positive, and if they aren’t, they aren’t really hobbies but chores.  Writing is a great outlet for me, escapist and challenging.  I love to make  things happen that didn’t happen before thanks to a story.  It’s so rewarding.  Luke/Mara sex pollen?  Sure.  Thrawn/Pryce in quarantine?  Sure.  #itdidntexistsoiwroteit is one of my favorite tags.

Apart from the stories themselves and the act of writing being enjoyable, I have made a lot of wonderful friends in this community (and others!).  One of my first online fandom friends I met for the first time at my wedding reception hahaha and the small group of my fic buddies are invariably supportive, encouraging, and sympathetic no matter if the topic is real life madness or characters refusing to obey the almighty author.  My tumblr friends are awesome, and everyone who takes a chance to read my stories are simply gifts to me as a writer.

Also I really do enjoy reading my own stories.  I am not shy or modest about this.  I LOVE MY FIC because if I didn’t why would I write it?!  That is super fun for me to revisit and reread and be proud of something that didn’t exist until I wrote it 😊

This may be a good place to mention that if writing is NEGATIVELY impacting your mood or mental health, you should step away, take a break, consider what is having that effect.  For any writers struggling to feel that joy again (due to lack of engagement or toxicity or whatever), I suggest you write a fic and don’t post it, keep it just for yourself (personally I think everyone should have at least one fic that’s “just for you”—it’s like a secret indulgence and a great reminder of why we should be writing—for ourselves!).  I mean, I play piano as a hobby.  I definitely don’t want to share my ivory tickling on youtube or whatever, that would add pressure and misery and suck the joy out.  So remember it’s all about the joy.

11. Has a fic you’ve written ever caused issues/controversy?

YES actually.  What an interesting thing to think about!  I had forgotten but polled some friends and remembered a few…. These are minor controversies though, nothing like fissures in the space/time continuum or anything, more like hiccups in the tumblrsphere…

Back in 2019, I wrote a Luke/Ahsoka fic (I think it was the first one for the ship on Ao3, or one of them) and I got some tumblr hate which was fun to smack down.  People outed themselves as ageist and misogynist and, well, you can read my response here. 

I had a similar reaction to my Luke/Mon Mothma fic.  Basically, I am militant that fanfic is for fun and you should write whatever the fuck you want.  I have no obligation to conform my stories to anyone’s expectations and refuse to do so.  Also Luke/Ahsoka is a GREAT SHIP you can’t change my mind haahah as is Luke/Mon, why can’t she get some Jedi loving?!

More recently, I understand there was some fandom kerfuffle around my Thrawn/Sabine story.  Again this had to do with age differences and the idea that professors/students is verboten blah blah blah. 

All I have to say to that is if you see a rated E fic tagged “hot for teacher” and you want to complain to the author that it’s about a student banging her teacher, you have issues requiring addressing that are beyond my expertise.

me @ the negativity

Thank you so much for these asks tonight @guestiguess!  I am enjoying them immensely! Hope you enjoyed the answers!

[krikeymate]

Hi I love your work. I was just wondering if you have any advice on not feeling guilty about focusing on something else? I have a scream AU I write for a lot but recently I’ve wanted to write for another AU but I feel really guilty cause I feel like im abandoning my other AU even though that’s not my intention. I was just wondering if you’ve ever felt that way as a writer and what your advice for it is. Sorry if this doesn’t make much sense lol

Hi! I'm glad you like my work :)

Yeah, that's definitely something I struggle with myself. I mean, I've got like over a dozen AU's, and 6 or so unfinished fics on the go, and I can't possibly give attention to them all! Not only that, but I've got an inbox full of prompts, and stuff outside of Tumblr and writing. It's a lot, and it can be a little stressful.

It's important to remember that first and foremost, this is supposed to be fun. Writing and creating content is something you do because you enjoy it, it's not an obligation you need to push yourself to complete or continue with. You should go where your heart takes you. If you've got this whole new or another idea that you're excited about and want to explore, don't let your older ideas hold you back.

They aren't going anywhere! Your previous work will still be there for you to pick right back up later if you find you want to. Don't think of it as abandonment, you're not throwing it away! You're simply putting it on the shelf for a little while while you play with a different toy. And if you don't, if it remains only half a story and unfinished, that's fine! Because it's your story, and it's still wonderful that you've shared as much as you have.

It's important to follow the threads of interest to maintain your love. If you set down these narrow boundaries and only let yourself work on one AU, if you restrict yourself like that, you lose interest, it becomes work instead of play. You have gotta just let your brain go wild, don't put yourself in a cage. You need enrichment to thrive.

[dreams-and-drabbles]

hi hi!! that may be a strange question but i wanted to ask what's the thing that motivates you to write? i've been thinking about making a writing blog myself but i had one in the past and got burned out after some time so i'm a bit worried... so i wanted to get some of your insight if you don't mind!

[!!!] Oh!!! Anon, I think it would be great if you made a writing blog, so long as it’s what you want to do!! As for your question— Motivation when it comes to writing is a struggle for me quite often, as well. More times than I can count, I’ve had an idea and when I’ve finally started writing it, nothing flows. Surprisingly, that is what prompted me to make a Tumblr. Writing one shots, headcanons, and the likes come easier than writing a full blown plot, and half the time they get that creativity flowing again— That way, I can focus on something with actual chapters!!! Sadly, motivation and writer’s block are probably something that you won’t be able to fully escape from, but they are definitely things you can work to prevent. As for getting burnt out— Writing should be something that you do solely for yourself. While it can be both fun and entertaining to write for other people; it is never something you are obligated to do. If you need time, then by all means, take time!!! I hope this helped some, and I’m rooting for you!!!

[sheryl-lee]

I just read your comments on how your blog is for you and for you to express yourself. This might sound silly, but as I've gained more followers on Tumblr over the years, I've become more apprehensive to post/reblog the things that I truly like out of fear that it won't appease my followers/mutuals. This is literally just tumblr dot com, but I feel all this pressure to please and preform. I kinda just want my blog to become a messy collection of all the things I love and I want to stop caring if I lose followers/mutuals over it. Idk, your tags on that one post really made me think about this and I'm gonna try posting just for me

Also, I love your Gifs!!

hi!!! no, that’s not silly at all! i’ve definitely felt that apprehension you’re talking about many times in the past; it’s a bit of a work in progress to keep in mind that my blog should be for me first and foremost, and i shouldn’t care if people unfollow me. as a creator, i still struggle with being way too hard on myself, and giffing solely because i feel this “obligation” to do it hanging over my head. it takes the fun out of giffing and makes me feel less creative and present in what i’m doing. i should be able to post what i want, when i want, without any guilt or pressure! so trust me, you’re totally valid in feeling what you feel. it’s really frustrating, and it can be such a slippery slope once those negative thoughts start to sink in :/// but i’m really touched that my words have inspired you to focus more on posting for yourself. i think that’s awesome, and i hope you find that to be infinitely rewarding 🫶 

and thank you so much - it means so much to me that you like my gifs ❤️

[bleuberries-and-video-games]

There is a reason why we have therapists and safe spaces and support groups, and there is a reason why using websites like tumblr, twitter, and tiktok as a supplement for those things is a bad thing.

One of the most dangerous habits I have developed as a person is the idea that I need to help people, like constantly. One of the most dangerous mindsets I have ever gotten into is the belief that I have to be the Diplomatic person in every situation and to make things good for every single person involved. The last time this had a major emotional effect on me was when a breakup happened in my friend group, by the end, it exhausted me. It almost burnt the bridge of Goodwill I had with every single person involved, and in a couple of cases absolutely ruined some relationships because of what happened. I developed that because of something that happened on here, certain types of blogs and conduct that encouraged, unhealthily, the need or Obsession to do good.

Can't help everybody. I can't save everybody. It's not that I shouldn't help or try to help people, but I cannot fix everything. And everyone around you is not obligated to pick up your pieces. That's not to say that people shouldn't care or want to help or feel empathy, I'm not Ayn Rand for God's sake, and the belief that you should not help anybody is a fucking blight on our society that should be purged from the earth as quickly as the Republican Party should die. That being said, there is a difference between not helping people, and understanding your limits and because of some of the stuff that happened on this website, I don't know my own and I'm still struggling to assert and understand my own.

It led me into some fun friendships and relationships, but it also created unhealthy patterns of anxiety and Amplified some already present depression that I do need to deal with and address, on top of a realization that I'm transgender that I have been running from for the past decade and a half.

This website is Infamous for a number of bleeding heart things, and the problem with the bleeding heart is eventually you run out of blood. The problem with fighting and dying on every single hill, trying to solve every single problem, and help every single person, is eventually you run out of the ability, will, or capacity to do so, and it might be the reasoning as to why we feel so helpless right now. I'm not saying Tumblr was so essential in a lot of people's lives that it's the singular reason as to why Generation Z feels some kind of apathy towards things, but I am saying though is that it kind of encouraged a strange culture to develop within several different generations of young people, leading to a number of them becoming very unhealthy and very deeply disregarding of themselves.

As different social media sites collapsed and interacted and eventually either came to here or moved from here, that ideology spread into the online space and saturated everything, eventually creating the modern internet culture which is highly obsessive, deeply nihilistic, extremely empathetic, and extremely exhausted. People feel heated passion, so they are deeply reactionary, but they are taught or are not allowed to believe in anything or anyone singularly, because that belief will disappoint them, and the only thing they are encouraged to focus on is doing good by an arbitrary metric that is not easily measured, which makes it impossible to achieve.

We all have dissonant understandings of what good is, and I cannot stress enough some of us have trauma that warps our understanding of it. I am much more harsh and crueler to myself than other people are to me because I do not understand or I struggle to understand that I have trauma and that I need to address it. It works how I see myself and how I see others, and that's a really bad thing that we kind of need to sit with.

More importantly, the culture that has come about has created a necessity or a belief that everyone should be correct and perfect in their presumptions or actions, leading to an online culture that is just disconnected from reality and genuinely makes people extremely Reckless with their own person and their own issues. This has led to the litigiousness of a lot of people surrounding who and what they consume, but not any actual pragmatic framework to push it through, this leads to a bunch of very bad misinformation spreading, with no method to verify or check it or vet it. We commonly know this as an issue with media literacy and supposed to cancel culture, which depending upon your class position, what you believe, and what you do, pretty much dictates how it functions or reacts to you.

Even some of the stuff I shared above might be too over the line, and I totally understand and apologize for that. I want people to know that it is okay to fuck up, and make mistakes, just make sure you learn from them. Make sure that instead of just saying I'm sorry or getting mad that people are mad at you, it's probably a good idea for everyone in this situation to give each other a bit more empathy and to stop expecting others to take on burdens that you yourself cannot take on easily. More importantly, we need the ability to celebrate our wins, because we don't get to enough. We don't get to see happy gay people enough, we don't get to see obsessive posts about TV shows anymore, we don't get to see people proud of their artwork anymore, and kind of most importantly we don't get to see the happy side of news and information anymore. People feel afraid to share that because they don't want to be hopeful, because they've been told, practically beaten into submission, that this stuff will fail you and the only solution is to be a doomer.

Our current plague of Doomerism is built on the foundation of people doing digital self-harm, genuinely seeking out things that make them mad or hurting them, and accelerating their behavior towards a bad direction. And it's not specifically limited to certain demographics as other types of self harm is, every single generation has somebody who digitally self harms because it's just that easy!

A more Boomer version of digital self-harm is obvious types of manipulative and destructive political ideologies and their figureheads, as well as living Lifestyles that are genuinely harmful to other people, whereas a more younger person would do something like doomscrolling, or looking up different things that make them mad and posting tirades or attacking people who make content I don't like that is otherwise not that reprehensible.

We can and should do better, we can and will do better, but it takes time, effort, energy, and a willingness to admit that we are in fact not well. And a lot of people do not want to do that. A lot of people would much rather continue the cycle of self-destruction because it is much more comforting to them and easy for them.

Allow yourself and other people to be happy, give yourself the space and Grace to love and to love unapologetically, don't make this so much harder for yourself, you don't need to. Be happy that you see a picture of a puppy, laugh at the anecdote about some family, even if you don't relate to it or never have one, do better, you need to, you owe it to yourself.

i really dont want to come off as an asshole and act like im not sympathetic but i think the idea that it is an appropriate thing to do to respond to posts about about positive experiences made by strangers with long and graphic vents about how your own life is nothing like that really has to end. i’m very sorry you’re going through that. but it’s just. really not appropriate.

[callmethirtysomething-blog]

13 years ago I joined Tumblr because I was searching for happiness. 13 years ago this blog was "Justkok" and "Call Me Thirty" was my username; A call back to the days of yore when TRL, AOL Instant Messenger, and Xanga took up the most real estate in my mind. Laughable now. You should know why this fact tickles me so: I can see it now; a little fuzzy around the edges but the sounds are clear. Listening to Lady Gaga, twisting open a bottle of "wine" in a dimly lit Chicago apartment, and the slice of scissors cutting too close to my ears. The fact is I can barely drink wine, I am a born-again Swiftie, live in Portland, Oregon, and resist any urge to get bangs. To put it plainly getting bangs is a cry for help.

Besides the above changes, there are age-related developments afoot. For example last week my heel randomly started hurting when I got up off the couch; yesterday my back started to spasm while wiping my ass; and a few months ago I found my first gray hair. Let's see, what else? Call Me Thirty has evolved into Call Me Thirty Something. Isn't that a scream? Yes, these past few years have been oozing along; the face of time is wincing from relentless winds of change. As we age one comes to expect that, thankfully.

Does change excite you? I've always wondered about you people, if so. While doing a stint in the wonderfully horrifying world of Human Resources this question came up often during interviews. In this vein I must reveal to you a shocking revelation: everyone most people lie in these scenarios. No one Most people don't love change—particularly when it occurs in the workplace. Even the most positive changes require periods of adjustment and leaders equipped with emotional intelligence, a penchant for organized chaos, and a sense of humor.

I have met a few people whom I believed when they said change is exhilarating. Characteristically speaking these people weren't necessarily pie-in-the-sky folks. Rather, their ability to emotionally detach provided security and flexibility in the chaos: their routines don't have feelings so you can't hurt them. As I explore this thought I have come to a riveting realization in real time: I don't have routines, I have feelings. Please pause while I telepath my therapist with this bombshell. I would tell her through traditional channels but I just stopped going last month. Later: more on that. Maybe. ADHD and all that.

Is the expectation of change the same as anticipating it? I guess I had an idea of what change meant. But anticipating the changes? No one prepares you for coincidentally meeting your life partner, unexpected deaths, or sudden job offers that take you 2,000 miles away from the place you were born.

From my first post on Tumblr where I talked about happiness and change, here is a response to my younger self:

You will start to cultivate a sense of happiness from doing more fun stuff, especially after your Dad passes away. The first person to die other than a grandparent is truly awful. As a result you will make the transition to relying less on the promise of "bigger and better" things because there is nothing bigger or better than life and death. Once you realize you don't belong in an office you'll boycott all things timestamps and cubicles; you'll start asking people what they do for fun instead of what makes them happy. As a Thirty-Something you'll still struggle adjusting to most changes but you'll put on a better face; a more hopeful one content with watching the paint dry while life settles from the most recent dust up. Pausing will become second nature and asking questions will come from a place of curiosity. You'll feel shame over your discomfort with change but will no longer feel obligated to defend that which you are working on.

And please, for the love of God, stretch! You have the time and the means to do so. Most days you work in your pajamas. The last thing you want is to die from a back spasm while wiping your butt, in your pajamas, at 3pm.