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[transsexula]

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[irishmammonagenda]

Death is a Debatable Thing-Obey Me x Reader

Summary: MC died 😱 and reincarnated as an angel, as per usual; chaos ensues. Word Count: 6.9k Warnings: Mention of Death, Cursing, Torture (mentioned, no torture happens) Michael is featured heavily in this, I just made up a personality for him, I don't play NB a lot (it makes me too sad) and I think he shows up there so if this is different to how he's portrayed there then L for me. Everyone except Luke was written as and can be read as Romantic(/platonic if you prefer)You can read Michael as Romantic, but I wrote him more Platonically.

post dividers from @saradika-graphics on tumblr (their dividers r really cool check them out if u havent fr (sorry for tagging you btw i just wanted to give credit)

"Absolutely not." You say, looking at your new found wings. "I did not die just to be reincarnated with the ugliest clothing I've ever seen."

"Would you have preferred to have been reincarnated as bare as Eve was in Eden?" The man you'd come to know as Michael. His dark skin shone in the blessed light of the celestial realm, his thick curly hair was pinned back in such a delicate fashion you wanted to unpin all the ornaments in it. Your fingers twitched at your sides.

"Isn't that against modesty rules or something...?" You paused, Simeon was an angel, he essentially had his ass out at all times anyway. Whore.

Michael stares at you weirdly, before playing with one of the loose strands of his hair, pulling the tight coil until it was completely straight before letting go and letting it spring back up again. Now you really wanted to mess up his hair. Just to annoy him.

"So anyway..." You start, sitting on a cloud that you fall through. For a moment you think you're about to pull a Lucifer and fall through the sky, but you manage to grab onto something and pull yourself up. That something is Michael's ankle and he's laughing at you, wiping a tear from ruby red eyes that shine just like that of his fallen brother.

"Stop laughing at me! Anyway, when can i go to the Devildom?" You inquire, watching Michael's face turn stern. He glares down at where you're lying, still gripping his ankle

"You're not returning to the Devildom anytime soon." He says sharply.

Your breath hitches. "Why not?! I have to let the brothers and Dia and Barbs and Sol and everyone else know I didn't die!"

"You did die. Why do you think you're an angel." Michael sighs, "and no. You're not letting them know you've returned."

"Why not?!" You repeat, outraged. "No offence though MC, but you´ve just died." "So?" You reply with indignation. "So," Michael says in a mocking tone, pitching his deep voice up high before letting it fall down the octaves once more. "You're barely able to walk on clouds or do anything yet. Letting you down to the Devildom is the equivalent of sending a baby bird into a den of lions."

"But...they'd protect me." You said softly, Michael's tone softens as well, laying a gentle hand on your shoulder.

"They'd also over-protect you, they've just lost you. I don't think you're ready for that smothering just after your death."

You nod. Michael's soft expression turns devious, "Plus, this way, you have plenty of time to think about how youre going to scare my broth-...the brothers and everyone else whilst proving you're alive...well an angel..."

You grin too. "Amazing point Mr Michael."

He plays with his golden locks again, an idiosyncracy. "Anytime" He grins before beginning to walk again, you grab onto his ankle tighter. "Oh and Mc?"

"Yeah?"

"Call me Mr Michael again and I'm shaving all you hair off. And trust me. Angel hair does not grow back." He smiles evilly. You shudder.

Well it turns out Michael is a fucking liar.

After being a little bit too bored during your second month of being an angel and first month of learning not to fall through the clouds in Michael's private garden that consists purely of clouds and a singular harp he stole from some poor Irish Deity, you go bored and snipped your unnaturally long angel hair up to your waist. You didn't want to go too short just yet.

In the time frame of a week you learnt two things.

One: Angel hair does grow back, maybe a tiny bit faster than human hair, and Two, Michael was babysitting the harp. Turns out the Deity was called the Dagda and he was visiting France on holidays for some reason, poor man, having to go to France and deal with all the French People there. Turns out he left the harp in Michael's hands, something about Fomoranians not being smart enough to see this one coming.

You just nodded and slowly backed away. Michaels red eyes followed you. He and Lucifer had to be twins.

Another day passed. The more you thought about it, the more Michael and Lucifer had to be twins. After having cut your hair to just below your shoulders, you found a piece of unnecessarily fancy parchment paper and a quill on Michael's desk

Holding the black quill in your hands you felt a sense of familiarity wash over you. Was that?....

No fucking way.

Michael was using one of Lucifer's feathers as a quill. You cackled.

After much deliberation you'd realised you could not write with a quill, but also that you were very good at ripping paper and making blotches of ink on said paper with a quill.

You decided to snoop in Michael's desk for a pen, instead you found a drawer titled, 'LUKE ONLY' in cursive letters, the label was stuck to the drawer so obviously you opened it.

Colouring books, letters written by Luke from the Devildom, Report Cards, Crayons, Drawings, and a pack of stickers were left in the drawer, a notepad lay next to it, Michael's cursive handwriting all over it 'Activities to do', it had things like 'Bowling' and 'Baking' and 'Gardening' and 'Teach him how to knit' and 'Arts and Crafts' and 'Prank Jesus' and 'Take him to Human Realm Cinema' and and anything else really. You cooed, your ivory wings rustling happily.

You grabbed a crayon and began to write.

WHY MICHAEL AND LUCI ARE TWINS one; same eyes two; both evil three; both hot four; satan is basically luci's son if you think about it and michael has blond hair too, if luci and michael are twins that means that blond hair is in the gene pool and thats how satn has blond hair even though luci has black hair five; both like wearing dramatic cape coat things six; both of them baby luke seven; they ha

"What are you doing?" Michael asks, startling you, and ruining your next point of 'they have hands', "Why is my drawer open?" He grabs the parchment from you, reads it and bellows out in laughter.

"We are twins you could've asked." He smiled, "also put the crayon back thats Red and Luke likes colouring in Teddy Bears red."

"Yessir."

You were a master conspiracy theorist.

In the end, you and Michael had decided on visiting the Devildom for 'diplomatic' reasons, but upon seeing the glint in his eyes it was probably more for 'dicklomatic' reasons seeing as he's an utter dickhead.

You had a veil covering your face, seeing as you were still kind of legally and widely believed to be dead.

You know, the usual.

You walked behind Michael, attempting to kick at the back of his knees, it never worked sadly. You took a deep breath as you reached the RAD council room doors.

Michael grabs you by your shoulders whispering into your ear. "Now remember MC im going to use you as a bargaining tool, so keep that veil on till i say so, got it?" He grins.

You nod, knowing that 'bargaining tool' in Michaelish translates to 'im bored and want to see a dramatic reunion'

Michael opens the doors.

You walk in with him but stand at the door awkwardly, steeling yourself so you don't immediately run into any of your idiots' arms.

Luke apparently had the same idea, as when he saw Michael, he let out a happy 'yip!' kind of sound similar to a puppy's and then ran from where he stood beside Simeon and Solomon into the Archangel's arms.

Michael catches him happily, petting his head as the young angel nuzzles into his hair, blabbering on about who knows what. Asmo takes a photo of it, everyone else stares with varying levels of fondness, awkwardness and 'meh'.

Sadly for you however, once Simeon is done greeting Michael, and Michael is now distracted by Luke introducing him to Barbatos who is apparently the 'bestest baker in the world!' (you could agree with that sentiment), Simeon walked over to you, his serene smile on his face.

"Hello, I'm Simeon, forgive me for asking, but do I know you? You have a familiar aura."

You shake your head.

"Oh, never the matter" Simeon smiles, "What's your name then. my friend?"

You clear your throat and put on a deep american accent, "Rupert...Pleasure to meet you...Simeon.."

"Are you sure we haven't met before?"

"Certain." You say in the same ridiculous voice.

Simeon nods, he excuses himself after Solomon calls him over, you turn to glance at Michael who is carrying a now sleeping Luke in his arms and gently stroking the boy's golden hair while stressing out Lucifer with questions. Satan looks on with a smirk on his face.

Glancing around the room you see similar scenes, Mammon and Levi are playing a game on the latter's switch, Asmo, Solomon and Simeon are talking, sometimes glancing at you. Barbatos and Diavolo were watching Michael annoy Lucifer, with both sometimes adding their input, causing Michael to laugh loudly then stiffle it, so as not to wake up the sleeping baby in his arms. Beel and Belphie were near the others but still off in their own twin world, Belphie was awake and watching Michael bully Lucifer from where his head laying sleepily on his twin's leg.

Raphael, Thirteen and Mephisto had been sent out on a top secret mission the day before, Michael had said it was because he didnt want to die and also did not want his death to be put in the RAD Newspapers, especially a picture of him that was less than flattering.

Even though everyone seemed joyous, you noticed an air of sadness, like something was missing. Looking at your old seat in the student council you see the amount of flowers set on it.

Against your better judgement, you walk towards it. Not noticing a few pairs of eyes following you.

When you reach your former desk, you notice a photo of you framed, it was you and everyone, a family photo, everyone was either in their demon, angel or reaper forms, you wore really cheap red horns with a halo you shoved on one of them whilst also wearing an old reaper robe. It looked ridiculous, you loved it.

"Enjoying yourself? Rupert.~" a honeyed voice startles you. Asmo, although, somethings in his voice, maybe anger, maybe suspicion.

"Uhhh.." You say in your fake american accent.

"I'm Asmodeus, avatar of lust.~ Are you enjoying yourself?"

"Guess so." You shrug Americanly, thankful once more the veil covers your whole face.

Asmo's eyes have some hurt in them, he seems...catty, probably because you, who he thinks is a random stranger is just standing at his dead loved one's desk.

L.

You open your mouth to say something, but no sound comes out, especially not when another familiar voice is added to the mix.

"Well hello. I don't believe we've met before. The name's Solomon. You must've heard of me."

Oh shit.

"Oh...I have, briefly! Hello Solomon, my name's Robert." You say in your fake deep american accent voice.

Asmo tilts his head, "I thought your name was Rupert?"

Shit.

"Oh. Yes" You quickly bullshit, "My name's got the hyphens, Robert-Rupert." You avoid eye contact despite the fact you have a veil covering your face that only lets you see out of it, so the sorcerer and demon can't even make eye contact with you, even if they wanted to.

This was getting awkward.

"You seem very familiar Robert-Rupert." Solomon says, you did not like that crafty smile.

"I get that a lot." You nod before walking away.

You walk towards Michael who, has a now awake but sleepy Luke in his arms, he sits on one of the sofas in the council room beside Simeon, with Barbatos, Diavolo and Lucifer facing them on the other sofa. Atleast you'll be safe from Solomon over here. As you walk, you notice Satan, Beel and Belphie have left. Either Lucifer was going to get pranked or Lucifer was going to get pranked but not as prankily because Beel unknowingly made puppy-eyes. Mammon and Levi were bickering quietly in a corner (shocking they could do it quietly) about who won the lat round of Devilio kart.

When Michael saw you approaching he waved you over, beckoning you to sit down in the empty space beside him, "This is an angel I'm currently training, their name is.....Steven."

Simeon tilts his head "I thought their name was Rupert?"

Michael clears his throat awkwardly.

You make your voice the deep horrible American accent, "My full name is Robert-Rupert-Steven...it's hyphenated."

Michael nods aggressively.

Lucifer, Simeon, and Barbatos side-eye eachother. Something was going on here.

"So, Robert-Rupert-Steven," Barbatos begins, his polite smile a little jagged at the edges, "I saw you at MC's desk earlier, how so?"

At the mention of your actual name, everyone there tenses up, Luke, thankfully is too sleepy to have realised, Michael quickly stands up with the small angel in his strong arms, knowing if he heard the conversation about to occur he would be upset, "I should probably go, give this one a walk around to wake him up a little. Simeon, would you like to come with me?"

Simeon nods, Michael and Him leave the council room, with Luke sleepily holding both of their hands and walking slowly along with them.

Now you were stuck with the Prince of the Devildom, the Scary Butler and the Scary Single-Dad. All of which haven't realised that it's you, and all of which thinking you are a random stranger.

"Well, Robert-Rupert-Steven?" Diavolo asks, his friendly demeanor the tiniest bit strange,"What captivated you to go towards MC's desk."

"Who's MC?" You decide to play it dumb. Bad decision, seeing as all three stiffen, Barbatos' being the most unnoticeable.

A very long 3 hour conversation went by, wherein, Diavolo, Lucifer, Barbatos as well as a certain Mammon and Levi who joined 10 minutes in, and an Asmo and Solomon who joined 12 minutes in talked about you, for 3 hours straight.

'AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.' was an accurate reprenstation of your mental state actually.

The urge to just rip your veil off right there was almost stronger than the urge to dropkick Maddi anytime you remembered she existed. Keyword being almost.

You just about made it out of the council room with your life. Now for your master plan. Scare the absolute shit out of the Anti-Lucifer-League. That'll get them back for never listening to your amazing prank suggestion of leaving random origami swans around the house in random spots. It was genius!

Breaking into the House of Lamentation was always easy when you knew that Mammon hid his emergency house key behind the garden gnome that now you saw it....kind of looked like a really bad rendition of Michael. With its dark skin, A DnD-esque robe and, a horrible smiley face painted on it, and the worst crime of all, bright yellow, almost neon hair, and also a princess tiara.

You almost cackled.

Taking the key you slowly open the door to the kitchen and sneakily sneak in. Sadly for you, it was they key to the kitchen door to the outside of the back of the house, which meant it opened in the kitchen, and since it opened in the kitchen, you awkwardly waved at Beel, who was having a midnight feast.

Beel tilts his head. "You're the Angel from earlier. What are you doing here?"

You once more, fake your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice and say, "I have Materials for the Anti-Lucifer League as they've suggested."

You are such a good liar.

"Oh," Beel nods, normally he wouldn't let a stranger into the house, but something felt...familiar...and safe with you. "Okay then, do you know where you're going?"

"Yes."

Beel nods, and goes back to eating the pudding labelled 'MAMMONS: BEEL DONT TOUCH THESE'

After much searching, you do not find the Anti-Lucifer-League, but you do unfortunately, open the door to Lucifer's office. The place where Lucifer currently is.

He looks up immediately on guard. You are not prepared to die a second time,

"What are you-" He begins, in demon form and standing up.

You interrupt him, making 'woooooh!' sounds and waving your arms about, and in your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you say "Wooooh! I am the....ghost of christmas past!...Woooh! and I am..." You pause, not noticing your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice has began to slip away, and your natural one has taken its place. "I am here to tell youuuuu.....to woohhhh! Take breaks more! Woooh!....and not overwork yourself! Woooh!"

Lucifer pauses, the danger in his eyes fades into disbelief. He knows that voice. He's spent the better part of a year listening to recordings of that voice and praying to his Father for the first time since the celestial war for that voice to return to him.

"..MC?.."

You've been found out. Quickly you put your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice back on, except it's gone up 12 pitches. "Who's MC?! Haha! What a weird thing to sa-"

You don't get to finish, as Lucifer pulls your veil off. His breath hitches upon seeing your face.

Your covers been blown. All because you pretended to be the ghost of Christmas past. Great.

Lucifer immediately pulls you into a hug, arms tightening around you, as if he's afraid you'd disappear. He chuckles, wiping tears from his eyes, his frame shakes. "I thought-thought I'd lost you forever...I always thought your face was angelic...-...it's fitting."

You hug him just as tightly.

But ever the menace, after about an hour or so, you look up at the Avatar of Pride, "Say, Luci?"

"Yes, my dove?"

"Wanna help me prank the rest of them?"

"Perhaps...I might help with...some setups..." He pauses, "You are telling Barbatos outright though."

You shudder. "Of course I am. I don't have a second deathwish."

Lucifer's grip on you tightens slightly, you kiss his cheek in apology. "Sorry," You grin, "Too soon?"

"Try again in another century dear."

The next day, the first thing you and Lucifer do is travel to the Demon Lord´s Castle.

Barbatos greets you in the Entrance Hall, "Oh, Lucifer," He nods in greeting at the eldest of the brothers (second eldest actually, seeing as Michael enjoys bragging that he's older by a whopping total of 2 minutes) he turns to you, who put the veil back on, "And Robert-Rupert-Steven, Welcome to the Demon Lord's Castle, although, I must ask, why you have shown up today?"

In your Robert-Rupert-Steven voice, you accidentally, against your better judgement, and rather impulsively state; "I'm here to assassinate Dia-...volo."

A portal opens, dragging you through it, and you land in the feared rumoured dungeons. Barbatos follows gracefully, now in Demon Form. Leaving a sighing Lucifer in his wake in the Entrance Hall. He decides to just journey to Diavolo's office and discuss things related to work. Barbatos wouldn't hurt you when he found out it was you so he really had nothing to worry about. Maybe you'd finally learn to stop joking about assassinating Diavolo, especally when other Noble Demons were around at Balls.

Sadly for you, you were now alone in Barbatos' Dungeons. Now what's scarier than being alone in Barbatos' Dungeons? Being alone with Barbatos in Barbatos' dungeons.

Time to run away.

As it turns out, running away isn't very easy when magic chains pin you to the wall. In your panic, you blurt out, "You know, I'd rather you pin me to the wall haha!" in your normal voice. The fear forcing your horrible puns and jokes to slip out.

Barbatos, who had been approaching menacingly calmly with a torture device pauses so fast it gives you whiplash. (Better than getting whiplash from the whip he was previously holding.)

In some display akin to a cockroach kind of squirming about after you crush it, in your chained up state you manage to twitch enough that you were able to pinch a piece of your veil's fabric just enough that it falls to the ground.

Immediately, the magic chains fall away, strong arms catch you as you stumble. "Hi Barbs..." You say breathlessly.

Barbatos looks like he'd seen a ghost. (You were an Angel, thank you very much.) After your death he had tried and tried to pull a you from another dimension. It would never work, some force stopped him each time. (To be fair, it was probably your jealous ass. No way in Diavolo were you being replaced by yourself from another dimension.)

His bottom lip trembles, much like the rest of his body, as he leans in, "May I, my dear?" You nod, giving him your consent as he kisses you so gently, as if he feared you would break or fade away.

He murmurs apology upon apology for the fact he had no doubt frightened you, he couldn't risk a threat to Diavolo, your 'death' had left him a little...tethered and emotional.

You close your eyes and kiss him again, now noticing you're in the kitchens and not in the spooky scary dungeon.

"Wanna bake cookies? Like we always used to do?"

Barbatos nods softly. "You do have to tell Lord Diavolo you're actually alive though, little lamb."

Your eyes light up. "We could make a cake! And hide me inside it!"

Barbatos sighs, but looking at your puppy eyes, he agrees. Gently he picks a stray ivory feather from your wings, making them rustle at the touch. Devil...you looked angelic.

Baking with Barbatos was always fun, but sadly he did not agree with your attempt at throwing flour at him.

"MC?" He catches your attention, bringing an ungloved hand to caress your face, "Have I ever told you that you shine brighter than all the stars in the Devildom?"

You blush and try to cover your face when he turns away to add more eggs into your batter only to find flour on your face. That sneaky bastard! Psychological warfare is illegal. And that sure felt like it.

It was on.

Apparently it was only on for you though. Though you did get a speck of flour on Barbatos' apron. That was a win, especially if you ignore the fact that your face and apron were covered in the white powder, which you were ignoring! So take that Barbatos!

In the end, the cake was beautiful, Barbatos helped you into the cake, and cut out a you shaped hole out of the layers made.

He then helped you out again, and the Flour War began again only this time with icing.

Hiding in a cake is quite a fun experience. Especially when you can take bites of your hiding space. Yum yum.

You feel Barbatos' wheeling of you stop as he reaches Diavolo's office, he knocks on the door, and as you requested, begins to film on his DDD (you had to promise the video would never get out of your hands.)

Diavolo sat alone, Lucifer had had to leave an hour before, Beel had went on a rampage in Hell's Kitchen again apparently.

"My Lord, I feel you have been feeling down, so here is a treat." Barbatos says, "And as a special treat, I will allow you to cut it yourself." He nods at Diavolo who you can just picture has stars in his eyes as you hear the demon butler walk to a corner of the room, still filming.

Diavolo brings the knife to the cake, as it cuts into it, you grab the blade and pull it forward. Upon hearing Divaolo's confused murmurs, You peek through the tiny hole the knife made, seeing Diavolo distracted, tilting his head like a child and asking Barbatos what he should do now.

You however know what you should do now.

Quick as a flash, you shove your hands through the cake, reach for Diavolo's arms and pull him in face first.

You didn't even care if it was probably treason. Diavolo's suprised screaming and Barbatos' slight surprised chuckle was so worth it.

It was worth it for Diavolo even after 4 hours, as he held you in his big arms, whilst the both of you were still covered in cake. Barbatos, the traitor, snapped photos of this and sent them to Lucifer.

On a great note, Diavolo agreed to help prank the rest of the brothers with you, much to Barbatos' dismay. (The butler was definitely going to help you with a certain sorcerer, however)

After a night and day at the castle and a very extensive bath, you recollected your veil, and snuck out (read: Barbatos and Diavolo waved goodbye to you and gave you some left over cake for the journey home) of the castle, you began your walk to Purgatory Hall.

Michael was staying there, and you needed to tell him everyone's reactions so far.

It was also a Saturday, meaning that Solomon would be out in Sorcerer's society meetings all night and morning.

When you got there you made use of the tree there and climbed up it until you saw something in Luke's room. You paused your climbing and looked in through the window.

Two figures were in the Young Angel's room.

As Luke lay tucked in in his bed, cuddling the dog plushie that Mammon had given him at a carnival last year that he claims to have thrown away, Michael and Simeon sat on his bed, the nightlight on the boy's bedside table created a gentle glow that the two elder were using to read the storybook strew across both of their laps aloud, they appeared to be acting it out ever so slightly. When Luke finally drifted off. Both Angels kissed his forehead then dimmed the nightlight down slightly, dim enough where it wouldn't hurt the boy's eyes but bright enough that the dark wouldn't scare him if he woke up in the middle of the night, keeping the curtains open for added light.

You cooed silently, your white wings rustling.

Snapping out of it, you scale across the wall before finding the spare room Michael was staying in and breaking in.

"Hello Motherfucker." You greet the Archangel.

"You couldn't pay me to fuck your mother."

"Harsh. And here I was about to tell you my escapades..." You sigh dramatically. Michael immediately smiles sweetly. Buttering you up. You cave.

After about an hour of Michael laughing at you specifically, and then changing your contact to 'ghost of christmas past' the bastard finally fell asleep.

Feeling thirsty, you snuck downstairs into the kitchen to get a drink, and also a sharpie so you could draw a mustache on Michael's face. Not bothering to put your veil on seeing as no one would be awake anyway.

As you filled up a glass of water and leaned against the kitchen counter drinking it, lost in your own plans, mainly of who to prank nest and how to do it.

You don't hear the little pitter-patter of feet until it's too late.

"MC?" A sleepy Luke stands in the doorway in cat themed pajamas no doubt gifted to him by a certain someone, he holds his dog plush loosely as he rubs his eyes with a tiny fist.

He walks slowly towards the cupboard, pouting sleepily when he realises he can't reach it, you immediately grab his favourite mug,(the one with the red tractor on it) knowing to put milk and some sugar in it before placing it in the microwave for 2 minutes.

Luke walks over to you still half asleep, resting his face on your side, you bring him in for a hug. "Simeon said you went to a happy place after you left, he always got sad when I asked when you were coming home..."

You bite your lip and speak softly, "My flight got delayed for a little while," You lie. Luke didn't need to know you died, Simeon hadn't told him in the best of ways to shield the young boy, that worked out in your favour.

You catch the microwave before it beeps, taking the warm milk out and stirring the hot-spots out of it before handing it to Luke. With his teddy now in the crook of his elbow, he sleepily took the mug before putting his tiny hand in yours.

"C'mon Luke, let's get you back to bed." You say softly, he nods tiredly.

"Will you tuck me in? And read me a bedtime story?" He yawns quietly.

"Of course."

After closing his curtains and tucking Luke in, he snuggles up to you and you read him a bedtime story, after drinking his warm milk, he falls asleep quite quickly, so do you.

A mistake, really. Seeing as in the morning when Simeon comes in to wake the small angel up and sees you there he lets out a shriek very out-of-character for him.

A shriek which wakes both you and Luke up.

Luke smiles toothily, "Oh Simeon! MC came back last night! Did you not see?"

Simeon collects himself, "I must've been asleep Luke, why don't you get dressed then come down for breakfast? Michael and I made pancakes. M-MC, why don't you come downstairs now?"

Luke nods and gets up dutifully.

As soon as you leave the room and Simeon is sure you're both out of the earshot of Luke, he pulls you into a hug which you return.

"I thought I'd lost you.." He breathes out softly.

"Me? C'mon Simmy...you know I'd never let death keep me." You laugh, he laughs breathlessly.

"I suppose not...." He captures your lips in a soft innocent kiss before leading you downstairs, hand-in-hand.

When Michael sees the two of you he offers you a pancake, far too casually for Simeon's taste.

Simeon looks between the two of you and glares at Michael. "You knew about this."

"Haha! Funny story actually! I need to go help Jesus! He's gone and ventured into another desert!" Michael laughs nervously before booking it, only coming back when Luke appears, knowing then he's safe from Simeon's wrath....

....for now.

You took out your super serious napkin and crayon that you stole from Diavolo (read: Diavolo gave you) and crossed out Simeon's name.

Your list was now as follows:

Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

For Satan and Belphie, you could knock out two Anti-Lucifer-League Birds with one stone. It felt a little mean to prank prank Levi and Beel...Mammon and Asmo were debatable, but you were going all out on Solomon. That'll teach him to turn you into a sheep that one time 2 years ago.

After careful deliberation and planning, (20 seconds of thinking.) You'd decided to sneak into the Sorceror's society and jokingly attempt to assassinate Solomon, and maybe fully assassinate Maddi if she was there. Not maybe, definitely.

Veil over your head, you walked in, when the sorcerer guards stopped you, you just pretended to be Michael then walked further in. Apparently they were terrified of the Archangel. Damn this society needs better sorcerers securitying it.

After stealing schedules you realised Solomon would be in a meeting right now with a bunch of no names. Oh well.

You crept into the meeting and attempted to plunge the butter knife Barbatos' gave you from the castle kitchens specifically for this in his neck, knowing he'd dodge. "This is for the Sheep Potion you Rat Bastard!" You screech like a Bean Sídhe. After half a millisecond of shock and slight anger, Solomon realises who it is behind the veil, laughing he grabs the arm you're holding the butter knife in and drags you into his lap, gently ripping the veil off of you and giving you a peck on the forehead, before he turns to the shocked and slack-jawed sorcerers that looked older than he did. "Sorry all, my adorable partner," He puncuates the word partner by pulling you closer to him, "missed me a little too much. and has-" He kisses you on the lips passionately for a moment, leaving you very much breathless and him very much chuckling, "-strange ways of showing their affection."

Bastard.

Some time into the meeting you whisper, "How are you not more shocked?"

"Well Robert-Rupert," He whispers teasingly back to you, "Remember that binding spell we did back when you were alive? It never broke. I knew the moment I saw you."

Your heart stops. "Did you tell anyone else?"

"I debated telling Asmo, but I suppose you wanted to on your own terms." He teases.

"I should've tried to stab you with a sharper knife."

Solomon laughs, "Oh and MC my love?"

"Hmm?"

His eyes glint predatorily, "You look absolutely ravishing as an angel. I can't help but want to corrupt you..."

You bury your face in his chest to hide your blush.

Bastard.

On the bright side, now a rumour that Solomon the Wise and Michael the Archangel are secret lovers has spread around the Devildom. You're counting that as a win.

Purgatory Hall Simeon Solomon House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

After your encounter with Solomon, you'd decided learning to just hide your angel form was the best course of action. Luckily it was fucking easy and you could've done it ages ago. Strange how Simeon and Luke never mentioned it....meh. You're pretty sure Luke just thought Michael thought you were super cool so he made you an angel. You weren't telling him anything otherwise.

´Satan and Belphie watch your fucking backs.´ was the pedal note of all your thoughts currently, you´d snuck back into the House of Lamentation, thankfully Beel was not in the kitchen, he was at Fangol at this hour.

Walking through the halls stealthily, you heard whispers as two sets of feet seemed to enter the room at the farthest end of the hallway. Lucifer´s room.

You fucking caught them.

No time to be caught in Lucifer´s room, seeing as if you were there long enough and Lucifer caught you, you would not be leaving for a good while.

So you crept up to the attic, the official Anti-Lucifer-League headquarters, you climbed the pillars to get on the roof and you waited.

Sure enough, ten minutes later, snickering could be heard coming up to the attic. Satan opens the door, letting Belphie in, both brothers in various fits of sniggering as they walk into the room.

"He'll never see this one coming!" "This is our best one yet."

From your place on the attic ceiling, you spot Lucifer filming on his DDD from the shadows of the doorway. Of course he found out about this.

"Of course it's our best one yet!"

You swing down off of the ceiling beam, swinging lightly upside down. "And you didn't invite me?" You pout.

Satan and Belphie scream, clutching onto eachother, before noticing that it's you and running to pull you down and clutch onto you instead. You notice Lucifer chuckle and put his DDD in his pocket before leaving. Traitor.

You cuddle into your two Anti-Lucifer League Brethren, maybe this wasn't so bad. (Of course it wasn't, you loved your idiots.)

Safe to say, you didn't leave the attic for a long time. Apparently people need time to process that you're not actually dead. What madness.

House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

You had long unentangled yourself with a sleeping Belphie and Satan, making sure to leave a:

it wasnt a dream dont worry lads im alive.

note on their chests just in case.

Sitting in the attic with your napkin and crayon in hand, you ripped the Purgatory Hall part off of it and used the back of it for that note, you scanned through the list. You should save your First Man for last, so your next options were Beel, Asmo and Levi.

Seeing as you've shown yourself to Belphie, it's only natural your gentle giant is next.

Watch your fucking back Beel. Literally

Speaking of, it's been a few hours, Beel should be coming back from Fangol practice any moment now.

As was routine at this point, you crept through the House of Lamentation's halls and quickly ran into Beel and Belphie's shared bedroom.

As Beel walked into the room, his Fangol bag slung across his chest and a pile of after Fangol snacks in his hands, you braced yourself, made a run for it, anf landed right square on his back, arms around his neck to keep from falling.

"Oh hi MC!" Beel hummed cheerfully, before his eyes widened and he dropped his snacks. "MC?!"

"Hi!"

Quick as a flash, Beel maneuvers himself in 'dying cockroach you in Barbatos' dungeons part two' and grabs you into his arms.

"I thought you died..." He said, smelling your hair as he cuddled you.

"I did. I just came back as an angel."

"Really?" His breath hitches, "Can I see?.."

You take a deep breath and your wings and halo pop out, he strokes them gently.

"You're beautiful..." He whispers, enraptured...."I think...out of all of Father's creations over the years since the celestial war...you're the most precious...."

He speaks softly, always the gentle giant, the moment lasts for just a moment, before the moment, like all moments do, has passed. Beel's stomach rumbles and you giggle.

"You should eat your snacks, Beelie.."

"They always taste better when we share." He nods seriously.

House of Lamentation Mammon Levi Satan Asmo Beel Belphie

Levi or Asmo? You bit your crayon in thought then immediately made a face. Crayons did not taste nice.

Speaking of things that did not taste nice, you remembered that one time you tried to eat Levi's controller because you were bored.

Levi it was!

You had to time this perfectly, waiting in the shadows until Levi went down to get a snack, you snuck into his room, saying the answer to his password out of pure habit, before sitting on his gamer chair and maneuvering it in such a way he would not be able to see anyone on it from the door.

When Levi walked into his room, a bag of crisps in hand, he took a few steps before you swung around "Boo!" and he screamed. Dropping his crisps.

After convincing him you were infact not a ghost (Unlike Lucifer's), you sat with him in your arms, watching anime, and getting caught up on the new episodes released.

You cuddled up to him in his bathtub that night. You grinned evilly. This gave you an idea.

House of Lamentation Mammon LeviSatan Asmo Beel Belphie

It was no secret that Asmo bathed a lot. Funfact, Angels can hold their breath for 30 minutes!

As Asmo was busy picking out which pajamas he wanted to wear after his bath, you tiptoed behind him and slowly got in his bath, hiding under the bubbles.

It took a total of five minutes before Asmo closed the door to his bathroom and got into his bath, this was your chance! Reaching out, you grabbed his foot and pulled him under.

He screeched, when got back above the surface of the water, he grabbed your hand and pulled you over.

He squealed this time, hugging you tightly.

"Oh MC darling!~ I thought you were...well never the matter~...." He punctuated each word by kissing your face all over, leaving you squirming in his grasp out of embarassment. "How naughty!~ Sneaking into my bath like that...~...not that you arent always welcome my lovely!~"

"A-asmo," You say, your clothes soaked, though you couldn't find yourself caring. "Asmo, I love you..." your voice is soft and the Avatar of Lust coos.

It was a nice night.

Time for your final victim. Your First Man. Feeling nice, you decided not to do something too mean.

Painstakingly, you made a trial of grimm from the front door to your First Man's room, more specifically; to his bed. The plan was to hide behind the door and jumpscare him while he was busy collecting the grimm.

Unfortunately for you, seeing as you weren't sure when Mammon got off his modelling shift, you'd finished far too early, and since you and Asmo were up the entire night, you were quite sleepy.

Surely a little 5 minute nap wouldnt hurt?

You woke up hours later to a sobbing Mammon on top of you, cuddling you in his arms like his life depended on it. It seems you'd falled asleep on his bed, more specifically in his nest.

In the nest you would normally sleep in while alive. (While Human technically, seeing as you are alive, just not human.)

You bring a hand to his snowy locks, he sobs harder. Like his brother, kissing all over your face softly, "Thought I lost ye' forever Hum'n" he gasps for air, his sobs quieting down, "Though' you were gone....I prayed ev'ry nigh'...." he says, voice barely above a whisper as he strokes your cheek, looking into your eyes. "I prayed ta Fath'r ev'ry nigh' since ye' died...that he'd bring ye' back te me...."

"And he did..." You say just as softly, bringing your hand up to wipe the tears from his eyes, sharing a soft kiss with him. As always, your greedy lovable bastard would want more, and you'd want nothing more than to give them to him.

And the next day when you told Michael you'd be staying in the Devildom he cheered, then told you to include him in this 'Anti-Lucifer League business' because it 'seemed fun'.

Wow. Now you knew where Satan got it from. Poor Lucifer, he just barely got away from Michael in the Celestial realm, and now he has to deal with Michael 2.0 in the Devildom.

Satan and Michael really were kind of similar....maybe it's a good thing they've only met in passing.

Moral of the story kids. Death sucks, don't do it. If you do do it, reincarnate. Bam! Problem Solved.

This is the longest ever fic I've ever wrote and probably does not make a lot of sense so I apologise for that. I also apologise for any ooc behaviour i'm still learning how to write characterisation😔✊

also i love thinking of Michael being a father figure to Luke and its very obvious

[coolmanjohnny]

SAW: (unrated) rant

Okay. I just watched the unrated version of Saw (2004) in theaters. So for some reason, they alter the ending for the unrated version of Saw. I have no idea why they chose to do this. I didn't see much discussion going over the details so I thought I'd go over it and why I think its inferior to the original cut. (Forgive me if I seem nitpick-y, I just love the original film so much haha. Totally fine if you like the unrated ver., I'm just sharing my thoughts here.)

To start, the unrated is advertised as a version with more gore/blood, which it does fine on that part. There are a few extra seconds of shots, for instance, the scene where Amanda is sifting through organs, some of the crime scene photos, and the wire trap maze is slightly longer. Here is a good article that goes over the Director's Cut with more details if you are interested. (I believe the Director's Cut is the same, if not very similar, to the unrated version? Feel free to correct me if I'm wrong.) Also, I think the colors are also less blue? I can't confirm this though. I believe there may be a few other details changed as well, but they're not super relevant. Feel free to share any ones I'm missing just for fun though.

These extra shots are fine, thumbs up emoji. My problem starts and ends with the final moments of Saw (unrated). This is Tumblr. You all know the ending to Saw and are probably obsessed with it. It's incredibly impactful and angsty. Its one of my favorite ending sequences of all time. I still think about Adam being left to die alone often. RIP.

Now, lets go over what's changed in Saw (unrated)'s ending:

Some of the final lines are cut out. (Why???)

For some reason, they cut the line where Adam asks, "Am I gonna be okay?" and Larry turns back and says, "I wouldn't lie to you." Why would they do this? I don't know. I can only speculate. Maybe they thought that it contradicted with Lawrence's character, since he is in fact a liar/adulterer? Maybe they thought it was too "hopeful"? Homophobia? (joke)

I think that it's really a shame, because it makes Larry much more likable imo. This one moment is representative of his character development in the film. There are a lot of complex emotions tied with that one line. For once, Lawrence isn't lying to Adam. He truly does want to help. At the same time, you can tell that he feels uncertain. He doesn't know if he actually will be able to make it back in time (if even at all).

Notice how he responds to Adam's question in a roundabout way. He doesn't know if Adam will be okay.

In a way, Jigsaw's trap did work. Lawrence learned empathy. LMAO. It is also makes Adam so much more tragic, any last glimmers of hope he had left get ripped away as soon as he realizes that Jigsaw isn't who he thought it was. They are both fucked. (Ignore that Saw 3D exists for a second here, lol. I definitely think that the original implication here was that Larry is screwed. Either Kramer gets to him, or he bleeds out.)

Here is the original scene for reference:

2. The end credits are changed.

Saw ends with Adam's haunting screams bleeding into the end credits. There's about 20-30 seconds of silence/very subtle music. Then, it leads into the song "Bite The Hand that Bleeds" by Fear Factory. I just LOVE the angst.

Now, lets see what the unrated version is like. (I had to really dig to find this lol.) Obviously, there is no longer licensed music. It instead plays the "Saw theme". (I believe Hello Zepp/Overture is the official name of the song?)

It's...fine. (Once again, forgive me for nitpicking. I'm starting to think that I may be overreacting a bit, lol.)

I sort of understand why they would change the licensed music. It makes the first film feel more "connected" with the sequels; now they all have matching theme songs. (Another idea is that they simply didn't get the rights back to the original song for the re-release. I'd have to do more research on this.) However, it still makes me sad, lol. I just love how edgy and aggressively 2000s the original end credits feel. It matches the film's tone so well imo. The filmography of Saw reminds me a lot of early 2000s nu-metal music videos (unique colors, over-edited to hell, etc.).

I want to really emphasize the importance of film preservation in this post. Thankfully, the original theatrical cut of Saw is pretty easily accessible. (However, this isn't the case for all films. Star Wars is probably the most famous example.) I am just a little saddened that some first-time viewers will end up watching this version of the film without being aware of these changes. I love Saw so much you guys

[opinated-user]

anon on Lilys blog claiming that Courtney, britt and Ethel turned on each other when … lol no

They may have turned on Ethel but that’s it ,.. I remember Courtney and brittney having an argument on tumblr but I still see britt speaking out against the abuse Courtney suffered … meaning either they made up or britt is putting personal feelings aside in favour of supporting a victim regardless of how she feels about them… which you know

is not turning on Courtney

Ethel just made it so none of us could ever trust her again. that was entirely her own doing. Brittany and Courtney might have their personal issues, but that shouldn't mean anything regarding if they're both liar or they're both telling the truth about their respective histories with LO. despite what LO might want her dwindling audience to think, Courtney could be the worst asshole in history and that still wouldn't mean that they're lying about their experiences. those two things have nothing to do with each other. the fact that she's pushing this hard for that narrative is victim blaming 101. this person is mean and i don't like them, therefore they couldn't have been suffering any kind of abuse, is not the kind of thing you should promote if you expect anyone to take you seriously. by all accounts, despite all the bad things Courtney have shared about LO's past and how of an unpleasant person she is, not once did he ever denied that LO must have suffered some kind of CSA in order to turn out the way she is. LO just keeps pushing for the idea that Courtney was born evil and horrible based on... oh, right, LO reading her diary and Courtney apparently being an addict. very leftist of LO to keep mentioning whatever made up addiction she wants as another reason to discredit Courtney. very progressive to practically brag about breaking her sibling's privacy. i guess it makes even more sense why she's getting along so well with a right-winger like her brother. maybe they have more in common that LO expresses online while hank/cameron just says the quiet part outloud.

[fellow-travelers-fic-recs]

How do I love thee, let me count the weeks...

Fellow Travelers Valentine's Celebration: Week Two Round-Up

Week Two Prompts: 

Love Language/Gifts

“I dreamed of you.”

Happy moment/Love confession

✨ Be sure to show your appreciation for the authors’ hard work with kudos and comments on the fics after reading! 

💠 Authors: If your tumblr (or other socials) isn’t linked, and you'd like it to be, let me know and I'll be happy to add it. Or, if you're linked, and you'd rather not be, please contact me to remove it. 

Works below can be found in this collection, except where noted (♦️). 

♥️ you should be in my space (you should be in my life) by @startagainbuttercup | startagainbuttercup [E, 1K]

What if Tim let Hawk touch him during their mutual masturbation session.

🧡 the gold of the dusk and the dawn by @redmyeyes | redmyeyes [M, 3K]

Valentine’s Day, 1954

💛 Me too by @alorchik | alorchik [T, 1K] Hawk feels he can afford it now, here, with Tim.

💚 Stars fading but I linger on, dear by @cinnamoncountess | CinnamonCountess [E, 5K] Tulips, roses, lavenders, daisies and orchids —

Tim closes his eyes for fleeting seconds as he passes the bayside and takes in the wide-ranging scent wafting over from the flower sales on each side of the road, drawing into his nostrils where it mixes with the salty sea odor from afar. It is that day of the year again that always squeezes on his heart like a fallen wall of bricks burying him underneath.

💙 Everywhere I look, you're all I see. by @in-our-special-place | Cupping_Cakes [M, 950] In that moment, all the pain, the hurt, and the years of separation melted away. It was just the two of them, lost in their own little world. And for Tim, it was all he ever wanted.

💜 The World is Not Kind to Good People♦️ by @lovebunnie | space_kid [T, 727]

Tim felt Hawk’s eyes on him whenever they were in the same room, not unlike the unrelenting gaze of God; all powerful, all knowing, something Tim ached for.

🩷 Where No One Else Can See by @bluebellsinburbank | ConsumingLove (Bluebellstar) [G, 2K]

Marcus once said Hawk was a damn good liar. And the first step in being the best damned liar that ever set foot in Washington, was the necessity of being able to lie to yourself.

Hawk had been lying to himself for so long - about so many things - even he didn't think he would know his own truth if it was laid bare before him.

Until soft brown eyes and a kiss that tasted like milk and eternity.

Until Skippy.

Or, How Tim's touch made Hawk realize a certain fact.

Thanks to all the creators for your wonderful efforts, and to the readers for taking the time to enjoy and share these fics!

Thank you to @fellow-travelers-events for hosting this event. Prompts for the remaining weeks can be found here.

Ao3 Collection 💗

[allur1ngs]

about nim

lengthy post below so i'm putting all my thoughts after the cut

as i'm sure you've all seen by now, yet another once-beloved bada writer has been exposed as a minor. this time, it's someone i've privately and publicly interacted with, so i feel the need to make a statement.

coming onto tumblr as a minor is not a crime. it starts to become an issue when you flirt with adults who are multiple years older than you and are under the impression that you are also an adult. not only are you lying to their face, but you are violating their trust, and ultimately leaving them with a feeling of guilt, disgust, and self-hatred. what you do is harmful, end of discussion.

even now, i struggle to find the words to describe how heartbroken and disappointed i am. nim, if you're seeing this--which i doubt you are--you lied to so many people. you gained their trust and spun a web of complicated lies to cover up your deception. the account that was sending you hate months back couldn't possibly have been the one that sent me and my other friends hate, right? no, obviously not! and not because she's in jail like you told me, but because as everyone had secretly thought, you sent that hate to yourself.

yesterday, you told me that you were thinking about leaving tumblr because you were so "busy" and "don't know what to write anymore." now i think i know the truth. you'd been silently watching eli expose other liars and got scared of being found out, so you went radio silent and left at the first sign of conflict. and your "apology" is pathetic. you don't care about the people that you hurt, nor the effect of your lies on this community. all you care about is that you got to write fics and flirt with adults before getting exposed.

...was it fun while it lasted?

on a personal note, this has severely affected my motivation to write, and my feeling of safety in this community. although i've said in the past i would be happy to become friends with anyone, i don't think that's the best decision, at least for now. i'll keep the friends that i've spoken to, and protect myself and them for the time being.

from now on, if i continue to write, then that will be the main focus of this blog, and less so this flirty and silly atmosphere i have created. i no longer want to leave room for this to happen again.

lastly, i want to say a big thank you to @badasgirlfriend for once again bringing this to everyone's attention. if you hadn't, we'd have no idea that we were all being lied to and deceived by someone we all trusted. from the bottom of my heart, thank you so much. i truly hope you don't receive hate for this like you did last time, you don't deserve it after everything you've done for this community.

[bronx-bomber87]

The rewatch continues! Onto 1x02 ‘Crash Course’ we go. Once again will credit all gif creators at the end of this review. Thank you for all you create. Tumblr wouldn’t be around if not for you. Off we go.

This ep starts for Tim in the hospital. Makes me sad to see Tim at the hospital so disgruntled and alone. Truly not expecting anyone to come pick him up or care. Surly af with the nurse. But it’s not a glow up if we don’t start at the bottom. ‘Started from the bottom now we here’ is a prominent thing for a reason in character growth. Starting at the ground floor with him emotional scars and all.

He is so genuinely so surprised Angela and Talia come to get him. He wants the help but sure as hell isn’t going to ask for it. He’s clearly been so shut down since Isabel. He’s lost trust and faith of those around him. So them coming to get him shocks him. Being s1 Tim though he can’t let them see that. How much this actually means to him. That there are people out there that still care about him. My poor broken boy.

Annnnnd the need for his approval and praise from Tim begins. She’s so excited thinking he was so proud of her and what she did in pilot (she did save his life and protect them both under duress) only to be disappointed by Wrigleys ‘No..’ Her eyes light up only to be crushed by disappointment. You’ll get there Lucy it’s just gonna be a bit ha

Tim dropping by the diner he conveniently ‘lives by ‘ and getting his pickup. Aka a Lying liar who lies. Really just dropping by to check in on her and his current test. To see if she’s losing her mind being a slug or she misses the action already with Tim. Clearly it’s the latter. Regardless of where Tim is emotionally and how she’s his charge. This is a little bit of a work flirt for him. Man took time out of his recovery from a gunshot wound to come see and her give her shit LOL She of course is ready and eager to prove herself even when he’s not officially her T.O. He’s clearly enjoying himself too much though haha

On the surface this is just a test is to see if she wants to be a real cop or a slug. We all know with her future UC predilections she loves the adrenaline. I do think on a deeper level, part of this test is truly to see if she’s gonna stick it out with him. Or if she going to bail on him which is the current state of mind he’s in.

Expecting that abandonment. He’s in fight or flight mode most of s1 cause of Isabel. Legit Survival mode really. So he’s going to distrust everyone around him for little while especially someone with promise like Lucy.

Alas we get to the end of ep for them both. Best part of this gif set is the utter look of confusion on Lucy’s face. Fairly certain she didn’t think Tim Bradford was capable of laughing let alone smiling LOL

What I love most about this scene is one it shows how sharp Lucy is. Telling him she figured out he had her purposely assigned to Wrigley. Two, This is also Lucy’s first moment of challenging him. Standing up to him by calling him a pain in the ass. When he says it’s ‘his job’ It’s her first strike into those walls of his. By insulting him with her little jab. Developing that rapport. We get the first Lucy induced smile from him. He’s actually proud of how she handled herself the entire day with Wrigley. Not half ass-ing it and he’s beaming.

When she watches his retreating form she looks so confused and slightly annoyed at his happy demeanor. But she also doesn’t hate it either. She has no idea she’s started her slow burn with him. That massive wall of his has the smallest crack starting to form. He’s so pleased with himself he doesn’t realize it’s happening either. He’s just happy with himself and how interaction went down. They’re so cute I can not. Eric and Melissa’s chemistry on full display. We had it from the jump with them.

~~~~~

Side notes for this ep. Talia was pretty damn funny in this ep. With all the property/city damage Nolan does haha Them getting kicked into the old school cop car.

The captain ripping those cocky detectives a new one. I always enjoyed her scenes especially ones where she’s mentoring the newbs. She was always so calming to listen to. So sage in her advice.

The Nolan/Lucy scenes continue to make me cringe but they have their purpose even if I dislike them haha

That wraps up ep 2. This will definitely keep me pre-occupied till we can get s6. Try to do few eps a week depending on life/work haha please feel free to like/comment I enjoy it so❤️

Gif credit to

chenfordsbee

tim-lucy x2

Thesweetnessandthesarcasm pain ass my job

relentlessescapism

Chenford source

[seungxstar]

para about my thoughts regarding the nim situation under the cut, bare with me.

once again, another well known bada writer deactivates after getting exposed for being a minor. thank you Eli, (@badasgirlfriend), for bringing this to light.

"coming onto tumblr as a minor is not a crime. it starts to become an issue when you flirt with adults who are multiple years older than you and are under the impression that you are also an adult. not only are you lying to their face, but you are violating their trust, and ultimately leaving them with a feeling of guilt, disgust, and self-hatred. what you do is harmful, end of discussion." — from melody, @allur1ngs.

adding on to melody's paragraph, i feel so so sick and disgusted from what has happened, this is definitely not okay and i do not condone it. what nim did was unacceptable. ignoring her smut writings and requests left and right, she was also publicly as well as privately flirting with people over 18, legal adults. i myself have been interacting with her for a bit, hence why I'm writing this at the moment.

though it's been a few hours since this whole thing unfolded, i still find myself in disbelief.

Nim, i don't even care if you're seeing this. but how could you do this to us? especially with your hate blog. we were all defending you and trying to protect you, only for it to turn out to be nothing more than a hoax? do you know how many people's trusts have been broken? we were all worried for you, only for you to be nothing more than a liar. i was thought that the blog sending my mutuals and I hate might be the same as yours. but now i know, whoever that hated on us was different. they were actual haters. yours was just a spare blog and an idea in your head that you thought would be funny. i hope you know the extent of what you've done, not to mention the smut reading and writing, the mountain of lies you said to cover one after another, being over 18 here while being an 08 there, how do you juggle with all your lies, I'm curious. intrigued, even.

"it was nice while it lasted"

i hope you had fun then.

on my own note, i am currently on a posting hiatus still as i am currently overseas, and i might extend my hiatus because this whole 'saga' has really brought me down way more than i thought it would. my writings will still come by, but on a later date. thank you for the sweet asks as well as care and concern for me, i appreciate it a lot. i also got quite a bit of asks regarding nim, and the best I'll do, no promises, is to answer a few asks that are genuine questions, but other than that, please do not send me or anyone else really asks about nim anymore.

also, learn your lesson nim.

[yolowritter]

Volpibug AU (better title pending)

So, it's this time of the month again, for me to drop a post in the tumblr void and then vanish again until next called upon! But! This one...this one is good! Like, "I'd need > 50k words of worldbuilding to write this" kind of good!

Quick story time: I recently wrote a Lilanette ficlet based on an ask I saw here on Tumblr. I won't get into the hows and whys, it's on my Ao3 acc (I have the same username). Anyway so while I was writing it, I added the line "and with her (Lila) necklace being all too magical" as a little easter egg, to say that she actually has the Fox Miraculous in this AU. Then...then my brain Did A Thing™. So it's a full AU now. Here's the context! Or at least...part 1, meaning the pre-story setup and up to the "Volpina" episode itself. I'll do a part 2 of this post to talk about the Lilanette lovesquare, because it keeps me up at night and I will share that with all of you very soon! Since Tomas Astruc has so gracefully and respectfully decided to actively depict 1940s Paris in S5, I am shamelessly using that mistake to make something I think is cool! So, while Fu and Marianne were in Paris, there was someone who helped them hide. A young woman from Italy, whose family had moved to France so her father could avoid the draft. The three become friends in the short time they know eachother, and she happens to learn that Fu is carrying a box full of magical little creatures with him. Therefore, she understands they need to escape, and promptly decides to try and sneak them out of Paris. But...we get to the scene where Fu and Marianne are being chased (the one from Evolution), only she's with them, and they're losing ground. So she begs Fu to let her take the Fox Miraculous and distract the soldiers while they run away, promising to come find them once it was safe. And so, with little time left to spare, Fu makes the gamble and passes Trix to her. She then tranforms and promptly makes an illusion to let him and Marianne get away before also going to hide. For the remainder of the War, she stays in France and devotes her time to help whoever she can escape, through conjuring minor illusions and such. She ends up being an unsung hero, and some years later she and her family move back to their old home in Italy. So...you're probably asking me what in the name of Gabriel Agreste's secret butterfly room does this have to do with Lilanette? Well, said woman (who I've yet to think of a good name for) is actually Lila's grandmother! I know, huge shock! Her superhero name? Why, Volpina of course! When Fu and Marianne return to Paris to come find her, she's unfortunately long gone. Therefore, we have 3 missing Miraculous. The Peacock, Butterfly, and the Fox. They stay in Paris (and yes this time they didn't split up, because I want to make Marianne happy okay?) like in canon, deciding to protect the remaining Kwami rather than go around the world searching for a woman they can't find. Conclusion, Trixx stays with Lila's family. Now, our beloved liar's grandmother has a daughter, who marries a man and also has a daughter, Lila. Listen, I do not want to open the can of worms of "Lila has at least 3 moms actually" because as cracky as it is...just no...not until they explain it clearly. Anyway her mom's marriage falls through, and through this time Lila stays with her grandmother, where she happens upon an old necklace she's held onto all this time. Cue Trixx showing up again, and Lila's grandmother explaining what a Miraculous is, and telling her the stories of her and the Fox Kwami's adventures. I'd assume this happens pretty much right before Lila comes to Paris, for a few reasons I'll explain in a bit. Anyway, Grandma Rossi gives Lila a crash course on how the Miraculous works, and swears her to secrecy, since nobody can know about Trixx, before passing the necklace to her when it's for her and Madame Rossi to come to Paris. The conclusion?

Lila isn't lying in the "Volpina" episode. She really is the descendant of a superheroine, and very proud about it because she loves her grandmother! It's also worth mentioning that because I genuinely hate how 2-dimensional they've made her in canon, this version of Lila is an actual character with positive and negative influences in her life. She still barely sees her mother and craves being the center of attention, but above all, through her grandmother's stories she got to see her friendship with Trixx, and is obsessed with the idea of having such a genuine connection with another person. So, she's not a manipulative psycho who's in it for the fame and glory, rather she just wants people to like her and hates being ignored or brushed aside, as her mother so often is forced to do because of her busy schedule. Lila may not be the most empathetic, kind or gentle soul around, but she's not sadistic or heartless like in the show. Now, when she transfers to her new school she's eager to make friends, so naturally she uses her cunning to quickly get people to bring up their interests and then spins stories of her relating to those things. For example, Juleka really likes Jagged Stone's music? Why, Lila has had a front-row seat to one of his concerts and absolutely loved it! She "knows a guy who knows a guy" who might be able to get them tickets if he ever comes to Paris, and hey, they should totaly go together sometime! Stuff like that, to become popular. She goes about her day telling the same lies she did in "Volpina" (Alya mentions a few at the beginning). Cue Adrien Agreste, locally famous teenage model, coming in with a book that has superheroes all over it. Lila is very interested in making friends with him, for obvious reasons.

When Ladybug shows up to scold her for lying about being a superhero, Lila barely holds back from transforming then and there, only because her grandmother had made her promise to not reveal the Miraculous to anyone. Unfortunately...that only gets her as far as being out of view before deciding to go for it anyway, despite Trixx protesting. Same exact thing with the fake meteor shower happens, and Hawkmoth is very curious as to what exactly is happening. Gabriel, being Gabriel, decides to wait and see what's going on. Ladybug and Chat show up, and she immediatelly accuses Lila of being an Akuma. Lila of course has absolutely no idea what those are because it is her first day here, but the more Ladybug scolds her the more she realizes that it's nothing good. Chat steps in as he did in the episode, defending her because Marinette is not being very logical right now. Long story short, Volpina asks about what exactly has been going on in Paris, and they give her the rundown on what Akuma are and who Hawkmoth is. Understanding this, Lila thinks to herself that Trixx...had a point. She probably shouldn't have exposed herself like this, and needs to find a way to get out of this situation. How does she do this? Oh, by pretending to be Akumatized of course! She conjures an illusion of Hawkmoth and then jumps Ladybug (mostly because she's mad at her for embarrassing her earlier) and then loses on purpose, "accidentally" falling off a ledge as she detransforms. Thankfully she's fine, and promptly thanks the heroes for saving her. Ladybug agrees to be "friends" with her, and is more focused on the personal situation than the lack of evil magical butterfly. I'm sure that won't affect the story in any major way. If you couldn't tell, I'm being sarcastic! Chat takes Lila back to school and tries to comfort her by saying she's kinda cool, and Lila lies to Adrien when he "happens to walk by her", telling him that she really wasn't ever a hero. Eventually, Marinette comes back to school just as Adrien is agreeing to be Lila's friend, and promptly decides that it's better to keep her "rival" close, telling Adrien that she's also his friend. Of course, he's overjoyed at having made two whole friends today (Nino is fondly shaking his head in the background), and that's the end of "Volpina". For those curious, yes the Grimoire still goes to Fu because that scene doesn't change. The only different thing is that both Fu and Gabriel suspect the real Fox Holder to be in Paris, but only Fu knows that this Miraculous has been missing since Nooroo and Duusu just...wouldn't know that. Tbh, I really want to write this AU sometime soon, but I'd also like to hear your thoughts on it! I know this post is mostly just a huge backstory rant, the real good stuff comes in part 2! Anyway, time for me to disappear yet again, but I'll be back soon with more!

[lovcn]

10 RANDOM HEADCANNONS (link for generator here)

' Stelle has been canceled on Twitter. ' - she actually would , digging through trashcans to find treasures and doing some other bizarre things that is not acceptable by human norms ... someone is bound to take a picture and share it on socials . the cancellation wouldn't affect stelle , even not for a little bit .

' Stelle speaks only in meme refrences. ' - stelle uses meme references a lot , part of her humor even in unfit situations . if she ever speaks , it might be usually unserious , using popular terms she seen otherpeople use in the web or in convos - memes .

' Stelle gets road rage. ' - she doesn't ! even if their car were to crash ... she would possibly remain calmly seated , blinking just once . well , she would possibly aid those who are injured of course .

'Stelle hates being alone.' - as one with deep trust issues ... often being alone is the safer option . she would hate however not knowing if her family is safe or not . in case they are , remaining alone might be even the most comfortable option for her .

'Stelle wears Hello Kitty socks.' - March 7th would give her all kind of clothing and things , she would put them on without complain . it makes March 7th happy .

'Stelle is a very good singer.' - she ................... isn't, DFGHJK. she would sing like a broken record .

'Stelle voted sans in the tumblr sexyman poll.' - she did . next headcanon.

'Stelle does not know what sleep is.' - not intended . stelle tends to have a lot of nightmares ever since penacony , and more of what occured in luofu next . she doesn't tell the astral express she's suffering of nightmares to not let them worry. often she wakes up in midth of night with tears already rolled down her cheeks , but she doesn't let out a sound . it's hard getting back to sleep after , so she takes walks in the express to calm herself before trying to return to sleep again . there's a habit where march 7th and stelle sneak up to each other's room to sleep together sometimes just bc it's nice! so when she truly can't sleep , she would just come to either march's or dan heng's room to sleep as it helps her to calm down .

'Stelle bites their nails.' - she does ! stelle is terrible at expressing her emotions through words or facial expressions . she might instead bite her nails when stressed out , however not in front of other people .

'Stelle is a horrible liar.' - she actually is , which is why when being questioned and she can't tell the truth , she would rather remain silent . ifshe were to speak , she might stutter , even if her emotions remain unchanged . it is enough to spot she's hiding something . she would rather prefer staying her quiet self than letting people suspect she might be lying .

tagged by: @miridicalkalon thank you !!!! tagging: @starshinc and anyone else who didn't get tagged yet!

[imnotyourbruh]

Story Time

One of the sections of second grade (where I studied) had been under the reign of two girls. It was an all girls school.

Half the class had been under cruel bullying and physical abuse by one girl. Let's call her N.

And the rest half was beaten frequently by a girl who has now become my best friend.

I belonged to the part of the class tortured by N.

One day my mother said

Why do you come home beaten up every day

That day I had come home with a purple bruise on my leg.

So I thought about it a lot.

*Invisible camera pans to next day*

N comes to me and bullies me and beats me once again.

This time though I revolt.

I tell her to stop beating me and I give her my word ,that if she didn't stop beating me then the outcome would not be one that she would be fond of. She did not listen.

It was time for us to go home.

Teacher went to the hall to collect cards to give to us in order to release us, as had been the rules in our school.

Therefore we were unsupervised

Without surveillance . N started to bully me once again.

I went

Took HER umbrella out of HER hands

And I beat her up like I was someone in an Italian mafia who had been given the task of unaliving that person.

I beat her

To the point that her umbrella bent and broke

It frickin broke....in half

When the teacher returned to class

N went to her crying and told her that I had beaten her and broken her umbrella.

Then she proceeded to show her the remnants of her umbrella.

(RIP innocent umbrella)

*PLOT TWIST*

Maam didn't believe her

She called her a liar and said she would complain to her parents if she didn't stop lying.

SHE COULDNT BELIEVE THE QUIET , NICE , OBIDIENT CHILD COULD EVER DO SUCH A THING. I had been the quietest person in class who always resolved conflicts and helped others.

And I got away with it

*I got away with it*

So children

A moral lesson here

Be soooooo well behaved

And likeable

To the point where people start putting you on the pedestal of being a literal angel

Who is incapable of doing anything bad

Like anything. They will protect you even.

Then do things

That are unexpected.

( not criminal stuff tho , don't harm people.)

Follow my motto

Do no harm but take no shit.....as said by someone great on tumblr itself.

Do things that aren't allowed

And get away with it

You will yield power that you cannot imagine.

You will become invincible .

*Based on true events

Wise words in the form of a story from yours truly.

-Corrupted Mata

Signed Meghu M.

Thank you for reading this long post.....heres a heart❤ and some chocolate 🍫 .

[agirlisaglock]

Ex-boyfriend rant (12/12/23)

I used to have a boyfriend but he broke up with me officially 2 days ago and maybe that's why I'm doing this stupid ass tumblr journaling. My ex was a good person at first, but the drugs and alcohol he does really changed him and the way he thinks. He became really abusive and toxic pretty fast but I stayed with him, because when he was sober he was good to me, except that he really did isolate me from my friends and stuff, and he had a lot of double standards with me. He broke up with me once before and tried coming back but I didn't let him come back at first but I ended up going back to him. I used to be friends with this one guy but I lost my virginity to him a while before I met my ex and my ex kept thinking I was lying ab having sex with him again (I didn't!). Yet he had sex with 2 other girls while we were broken up, one of them being someone who he cheated on me with in the past. He just kept thinking I was lying and even if I really did fuck that boy, he did things too but he loved excusing his shit, yet I'm the hoe. I'm a pretty tough person and very extreme so a lot of this stuff I let it go because with other guys they usually act intimidated with me (I'm not mean or toxic, I just don't like bullshit) but it was different with this boy. I feel like we were on the same level and we got along so well and his family absolutely loves me and I love them too. The last time we broke up it was literally only 2 months ago yet I didn't feel as torn up about it, but I think it's because we actually got back together and it was the honeymoon phase all over again and it has me convinced he'll come back home to me, but at the same time I know he's crazy and abusive as hell, but idk that's my man and I'm sort of waiting on him but not really. Like if he came back later on and was matured and different, I'd take him back in an instant. But at the same time if he never came back I'd be okay. But honestly I know a few months will go by and he's gonna see he won't get somebody better than me. I don't mean that I'm the prettiest most perfect girlfriend but I'm definitely way too good to be dealing with his nonsense. I'm only 16 yet I treated him like a king, breakfast everyday, clean clothes always, even cleaned and fed the dogs too all while dealing with my own issues too. In our relationship it was always him him him and never me. He says he doesn't know things ab me because I don't open up but really he's self-centered. While he's not a very good person I love him regardless, because at the end of the day we are all hard people to be with all with our own flaws, so when you find someone who's willing to put up with your shit, you stick with them to the very end and you don't quit it. But that's exactly what he does, he quits everything. Our relationship went downhill whenever he got arrested one night and lost his car. That vehicle with the speakers was his pride and joy and after that was when he changed. But honestly he's just a big cheater, liar, abuser and doesn't think his actions matter. At the end of the day tho I can deal w shit like that whenever the good outweighs the bad, but he didn't even fight for our relationship, but if he's meant to be with me he'll be with me. Who knows maybe he'll mature and come back or maybe in a few years we'll bump into eachother. Or maybe I'll find the Mr. Perfect he told me to go look for, but it sucks cuz I really wanted it to be him. I type this on my laptop with teary eyes and a 'frog in my throat' and I just hope time will tell or it'll heal wounds.

[angelfrogs]

THE PEOPLE HAVE SPOKEN AND I SHALL DELIVER!! Also I’m going to disclaimer that I don’t know if this is actually a controversial take per say but I have literally never seen another person suggest this and while I’m not crazy deep in the fandom uh I’m around. Second disclaimer to anime onlys that everything I’m saying is all about stuff that hasn’t been animated yet but yeah. Okay disclaimers over.

I think he’s fucking lying. And I don’t just mean that he makes a liar of himself later on, we all know that, I mean in this moment I think he’s lying and he knows he’s lying. I’ve thought this since I first read this scene.

Now I know what you may be thinking: tumblr user angelfrogs, why the fuck would the devil be lying about wanting human suffering when not only has it been shown thus far that all devils have at least some base level of hostility and hatred for humans AND his hatred of humans directly ties into chainsaw man’s whole thing where everyone who hates each other ends up loving each other?? Well I’m glad you asked!

First and foremost I think the scene itself is formatted extremely strangely to get the idea that the Angel Devil is just like other devils across. In fact I think the way that the scene plays out points more evidence to Angel being weird. Before refusing to mercy kill the dying civilian devil hunter Angel calls Aki over to show him. This leads Aki to ask Angel to mercy kill the other hunter, leading to this line, and then Aki mercy killing the hunter himself. If Angel really wanted to watch the unnamed hunter suffer until he died why would he call Aki over? Aki was busy and distracted, by the time he was done dealing with the fallout of killing that devil the hunter could have already been dead. You can make the argument that Angel called Aki over solely for the narrative purpose of refusing to mercy kill the hunter, but there are much easier ways to get Aki to go over there that make Angel’s “belief that humans should die in pain” more believable. It would be just as easy for Aki to notice that Angel is once again not doing his job and notice the dying hunter when he going to berate Angel. Or simply for him to notice Angel is staring at something and ask what. Angel calling Aki over (Aki who has a reputation for being not only a devil hater and a workaholic but self sacrificing and emotional) doesn’t make sense unless it’s to see what Aki will do about it. To see if it’ll piss him off, if he’ll try to save his fellow man, or if he’ll mercy kill him himself. Furthermore Angel shows no dissatisfaction or complaint when Aki chooses to mercy kill the hunter and as we know Angel complains all the time whenever he doesn’t like something. To me this has always read as Angel getting Aki to mercy kill the hunter so he doesn’t have to. Angel hates using his powers, we learn later that his kills haunt him, that he feels guilt over them. Later during the bomb devil fight he comforts a dying woman he uses to revive Denji, he apologizes to her and tells her she’ll get to heaven. These aren’t the actions of someone “thinks all humans should suffer as they die.”

So why lie? Why confirm the beliefs of a guy who hates him when there are other ways to refuse to use his powers?

Because he wants Aki to kill him.

Or at least he wants Aki to have Makima kill him. (Note: I also think another reason why Angel says this is because he wants it to be true, he doesn’t remember why he feels guilty. He doesn’t understand why he feels different from other devils. He wants to not feel the way he does. But I digress.) Angel knows Aki is a hardass who does not like him. Aki had already threatened to report him and get Angel killed at the beginning of this chapter, and Angel wants to die. He says this to get at Aki, to make Aki report him to Makima as useless partner who is hostile to humans. But as we all know that doesn’t quite work.

So yeah that’s my hot take :) I know everyone loves to use this scene to show Angel’s growth/compare him to Aki and his devil hatred but uhhhh this guy is fucking lying! Thank u for reading u_u

Would anyone want to hear. My most controversial chainsaw man opinion? A silly hot take I have that does not matter but means everything to me?

[sytokun]

Canonseeker Update

Current Twitter alt: Onemorefanofshows (@camadnijuve)

Current Tumblr alts: iamafanofcartoons; onesheeptwosheepandachicken

Current YouTube usernames: Alicia Garske; Vernon Dokon

Current Discord name: dextercalliem#6439

DO NOT INTERACT. Block on sight and move on. This post is to raise awareness, not encourage harassment.

Canonseeker/Answerseeker is a known toxic member of the RWBY fandom. He has been banned/muted across Reddit, YouTube and Discord and hides in multiple accounts/usernames across Tumblr and Twitter as well, stalking blogs and harassing content creators. He will often use these accounts to deceive, usually pretending to be new to the fandom - in order to gain trust with unaware members of the community. You can read this doc for more info about his behavior.

His constant dummy accounts and attempts to evade bans and deceive other fans makes him hard to find, which is why myself and a group of others personally affected by his harassment have found his various alts across the internet and compiled them here.

If you are a content creator/artist, be very careful as he will try to act nice with you in the hopes of buying commissioned art, which he is known to not be able to pay for. If you create RWBY content on YouTube, mute him from your channel as he may act positive at first but will eventually start arguments and comment wars in your comment section, ruining your video's experience for everyone else. He also may DM you on Discord pretending to be someone else, often seeking pity and lying about being wrongfully banned from other servers, being harassed/doxxed, or someone "impersonating" him. Do not believe his fake narratives.

Be careful when dealing with him; he is a known liar and will use kind and encouraging words simply to help him gain favour with others to keep his new dummy account in good graces, but will turn against you once you call his bluff. Again, DO NOT INTERACT with him; just block him and make sure others know about his aliases.

Every time Canonseeker changes his alias, I will post a new update, along with a motivational quote for him in hopes that he will change his ways.

“When you see a good person, think of becoming like her/him. When you see someone not so good, reflect on your own weak points.” ― Confucius

[chuplayswithfire]

Hey man, I'm using a throwaway because I've found a lot of the ofmd fandom really hostile lately and don't want anyone in my main's dms. I'm really not trying to like, be a coward or anything.

I really like your blog and you seem like a cool person, but I was honestly kind of disheartened when I noticed you dismissing the death threats and other awful messages a lot of people (particularly Izzy enjoyers, yes, but I know they're not the only ones) receive.

I understand that that kind of hostility existing might go against your view of this fandom and the world in general, or that maybe you even think these people deserve the things they're told, but I REALLY doubt the multiple people I've seen speak out about this issue are all lying about it or making things up. It just seems like a lot of hoops to jump through just to assume that, when the simpler explanation would just be that at least most of them are real.

Hell, I have a screencap of a mutual of mine receiving their first anon hate telling them to kill themselves for liking Izzy, but since that person was cowardly enough to go on anon I guess to you that's fake too? Like, is it really so hard to accept that this stuff is happening? Or do you really think so lowly of people who like a fictional character that you think they're all liars and master manipulators making shit up for fun?

Even if you ignore the death threats, there's someone on multiple sites right now commenting really awful stuff on people's Izzy art, many of said artists being minors. This I do have proof of. Like I've seen this person tell a black gay man he was a racist and a fujoshi for liking Izzy and drawing art of him?? Seeing this kind of behavior, I have a hard time believing death threats or suicide baiting would be out of the question.

It just really hurts seeing you dismiss experiences like that. I'm probably coming off as unhinged writing all this to a single person, I guess I just think you seem cool and reasonable so this took me off guard. I'd like to apologise in advance if anything I said was upsetting, I'd just like to hear where you're coming from with this.

I hope you have a good day regardless, sorry for making you read all of this. Appreciate you.

Just to get this out of the way, I fully doubt the veracity of this statement because you're a throwaway account. I haven't been on tumblr for 10+ years to be rocked by someone rolling up to me with a terrible sounding story without anyway to verify it. I'm just meant to trust you, an anonymous stranger, that all these horrible things are happening.

Now, do I think there are tons of hateful messages being sent out and about to various fans of various characters? Absolutely. Of course it is. My anons are closed because of the hateful messages I received, which racketed up to being told various ways I should be killed or that I should kill myself once I told the anon that I would not be sharing their messages. Of course that's happening to many other people.

What I personally doubt is that some of the people claiming to receive hate, are actually receiving hate. And frankly, when its anonymous, I have to maintain skepticism because 1) anyone can send themselve anons and 2) anyone can stop anonymous harassment by turning off anon. I'm an example of that. When someone is receiving tons of hateful anon asks and refuses to just turn off anon, I'm naturally skeptical.

But going back to what I said about doubting people - I am again confident that many people have received hateful messages. However, when I see, for example, a person with a total of less than ten posts, less than five of which are about OFMD, talking about the barrage of hateful anons they've received for liking Izzy, I'm doubtful. When I see artists talking about the hate they've received for their art, and then I look at their art and they've been whitewashing, I'm doubtful. When I see fanfic authors lamenting the hate that they've received, and I check the comments being made and they're about how the content of a chapter or story is racist, I'm doubtful.

Ultimately, do I believe this fanom has hateful anons? Yes. Do I think many people are making it up because they believe it strengthens their position? Yes. Do I think *anyone* who claims they and the people around them are uniquely bullied for liking a particular character is being obtuse? Yes. Some fans of Izzy are undoubtedly getting unwarranted and cruel comments. So are Stede and Ed fans, so are fans of the whole show, so are people who post about hating the show. Not to be flippant, but it's the internet. I'm not going to just believe someone because they said something on the internet, but while I have sympathy for people experiencing the distinctly shit feeling of "my inbox is full of hateful comments", I'm also not going to pretend I don't raise my brows when some of the people I see pushing that idea the most are people I see making racist ass commentary.

In short: I am a cool person, I'm glad you like my posts, because I do not know who you are and cannot investigate your claims I do not trust your account. I'm simply too cynical to not raise a brow when people start voicing that they're the most hated people within a fandom just because they like a character.

Getting hate sucks. Sending hate is shitty. Unfortunately, it's part and parcel of the experience of being active on the internet.

[nangbaby]

Okay, I know I did not give a detailed link to every single instance of abuse. I was in a severe time crunch when I wrote that last post.

That said, given your response, it wouldn't have made a difference if I had dropped every single instance of hate for you to read.

I find it incredulous that named people sent me death threats with impunity and claimed succumbing to bullying on the Internet for decades is pathetic, and that you, a person ostensibly against sending people death threats, are ignoring this actual fact because in your mind, I deserve it. I've been told to "eat an embolism and choke purple" called a "retard" and other slurs and your answer is you don't see hate. Because I'm not a perfect victim.

I mean, people can be transphobic when making fun of me and get a pass.

That's not even getting into the flat out lies people are spreading about me and claiming that I stole their art. People claiming I'm nads6969 and an art thief and making up trolls when you can clearly see those are real people with post histories sending this stuff, as though nads6969 and prismatic-bell both followed me, befriended me, then blocked me, too. How is lying about me then blocking me to hide the evidence not abusive?

I made that claim when Maggie was alive, because she made more posts than those. Do you know what happened? The cumulative effects her, other fans, and an exclusionist bisexual who tried to get "allo" banned led to me deleting thousands of posts on my blog. I was not trying to "erase" anything. I believe in archival and my blog has been archived for years on the Wayback Machine. I was in a low point due to all the people saying I was worthless and deserved to die. And even after I quit people still laughed, and again suicide baited with impunity.

For instance, Saint Maggie of Lubbock blocked me then wrote those tirades. The only reason why I could reblog is because her block was under the old style -- WHICH I HAD NO PROBLEM WITH AND IF TUMBLR BROUGHT THAT STYLE OF BLOCKING BACK AND REPLACED THE CURRENT ONE WITH IT I WOULDN'T COMPLAIN ABOUT BLOCKING - where blocking would just mute the target's blog and the target could reblog all day long while the blocker did not receive notification.

Yes, I deleted my own work. because of her and others.

But it seems no matter how much I link to the actual images or even put them in front of you, you don't acknowledge that telling me to kill myself is harassment, unless, of course, I were to do a bad thing, and thus it's a very bad thing I deserve to kill myself for doing a bad thing and should be seen as irredeemable trash that should be disposed of.

As for why I don't change my screen name and start over, that should be obvious...

As I wrote, I generally don't change my screen name because I am not trying to lie about who I am, or do any of the stalkery things that these people claim I do. Going under a new screen name would be block-evading, ban-evading, and stalking. It would get me booted for making another account. It's the whole "cross a boundary to prove the boundary is worthless" deal. Furthermore, why should I let the bullies and liars win? If they win and they get rid of Nangbaby, then I've lost the fight. Once Nangbaby is no more, there is no more me. And as I've said, plenty of these people did truly "infiltrate" and got my personal information; I am literally over six figures in debt in no small part due to their badmouthing, all while they received accolades and made money off bullying me.

I keep my same screen name to keep myself accountable for the things I did in the past. I also hope that one day, people will see these words written against me and say "That is no way to treat anyone you dislike, even if you find what they write objectionable." They can still say I'm a worthless person, but if someone would admit that people lied about me and bullied me and confront them on it, then at least it would shine a light on how to treat people in the future. Disappearing would mean there was no hope that anyone would one day hold people accountable, and no hope that things would change, because it would mean people could drag other's reputations through the mud with impunity.

Apparently, you don't think I've suffered enough to be considered abused. I've seen too many negative posts in comparison to positive ones, and no one thinks I am of any value. That constant reminder of your worthlessness wears on you. One or two positive comments isn't going to cut it compared to the mountains of hate. There needs to be action taken against the attitude that bullying isn't bullying when the victim is someone you dislike, even if I don't benefit from it. Because this has happened to other people and I'm the only one of the people who were bullied left standing.

I'm not saying I want you to be in lock-step agreement with me, but your constantly challenging my of sanity is hurtful and confusing. Why am I unhinged or hysterical to link to and show you abusive words lobbed in my direction? This is not a rhetorical question. I sincerely don't understand how people actually lying about me, ganging up on me, wishing death on me, and insulting me is not abuse to you when it matches the examples of such near-verbatim. If even one person posted to another user the same things that are posted about me, you would be reporting every single instance to Tumblr and raising awareness of the harm these people have caused.

I mean the only answer I can come up with is that I'm not human in your eyes, because I honestly can't understand how you can look at what I've pointed out, see where other people have slurred me and lied about me, and then say "that's not abuse."

wow that nangbaby person is a piece of work I'm glad I missed out by being in class.